#I just want to write a lot but don't have the energy or time to do it
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It's ok to write with another person's input. And some people like to beta fics, even long ones. Having a beta reader isn't a requirement, though, and lots of people don't use one. If you want people to beta fics, probably breaking them up into chapters is better. That's easy to do when you're writing it yourself. 3000+ words don't appear overnight.
If that 3000+ words is AI slop though, yeah, no one's going to want to beta that. Why should they waste time on something you didn't? That sounds like you wanting everyone else to put in the work instead of yourself. You're just passing the buck.
Ideas have value insomuch as everyone and their dog has ideas. They're a dime a dozen. People don't care that you have ideas. They care about what you DO with them. Giving them to AI to let the AI do something with them is not your work.
Things only have value because time was spent on them. If I craft something, I can label value in terms of cost of materials and labor in an hourly rate. I can do that for writing too. The value of the A03 fics you read is literally based on the time someone took to write it. A 100-hr fic at $15/hr has a value of $1500. That also accounts for the skill and experience of the writer.
If you generate the same fic with AI, it takes zero time and zero effort, so the value is zero. There's no application of skill or experience or knowledge. Even if you were highly skilled enough to rate $30/hr, you multiply by zero. That AI fic is worth nothing.
That's just one example to describe the value of a fic.
But maybe you don't like capturing value in terms of dollars.
It still remains that if you didn't spend your time writing something, nobody else wants to spend time reading it. Why should they give you attention, comments, likes, etc., over something you didn't do? That attention wouldn't belong to you, it would belong to the AI. To everyone else, that fic has zero value.
If you want an AI to crank things out for your personal use, that's up to you and no one can stop you. If you enjoy that and you don't care about getting real results for real time and effort, you do you. Sure, it can have personal value.
But it doesn't have value to anyone else, certainly not enough to warrant time and energy to read, beta, or comment on it, when you yourself didn't want to do anything whatsoever and haven't earned their time.
You want attention for nothing. Real writers enjoy the process of creation.
just saw a fanfic on ao3 have a dedication for chatgpt... that section is meant for your horny perverted mutual who proofread your work, you violated sacred law and you will be torn apart and laid bare btw
#AI#there's no such thing as 'it has value because it's my ideas' outside of your own head#you can enjoy your thoughts and dreams all you want#other people do not care#there's no value to anyone else. they're not going to waste time or give someone attention when you've done nothing to earn it#AI has no value#there's no argument you can make that can justify making other people give you their time and energy#over something you couldn't be bothered with#if it wasn't worth your time it's not worth theirs
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I did a whole bunch of drawings for Jason's team two weeks back, so now its time to concentrate on Steph's team! Here we've got 4 new characters for her team, with a couple extra tomorrow as well. Lets go into to them, one by one.
First up is the lantern for the group, more specifically a Violet Lantern apprentice aka Miri Riam! Her reasons for coming to earth is unknown at the moment but they seem to have some connection to Carol Ferris. Carol's also a Violet Lantern and Hal's(Green Lantern) on-and-off girlfriend and occasional antagonist. Perhaps Miri was sent to become Carol's apprentice? I've got more info on whats happening there, but thats for later.
As for why Miri was chosen for the group, I knew I wanted some kind of Lantern for the team, but couldn't find a green lantern that was both in Steph's age group and have fun interactions with them. But then I thought, does it have to be a green lantern? I had a red lantern for Jason's group after all. I looked around and found Miri! I don't know her exact age but I knew she was a young adult, so I'm just gonna have her be around Steph's age group.
The Violet Lanterns Corps are very ...enthusiastic about the power of love and Miri's no exception. She wants everyone to know the joy of Love, she's honestly kinda annoying about it. I remember this one GL issue where she was destroying a city just to get Kyle and Soranik to resolve their love troubles. That pretty much became the basis for how I'm writing Miri's personality. Like I said above, I'll get more into Miri at a later time.
Next is Maxine Hunkel aka Cyclone, granddaughter of Ma Hunkel aka the golden age Red Tornado! I already posted a drawing of her a while back, I thought she'd make a fun fit for the team. She's has such high energy and so much enthusiasm I couldn't help but find her utterly endearing. I think at a later point she'll end up joining the JSA but for now she's just having fun with this team.
Btw I thought that maybe her grandmother, Ma Hunkel, could fit a similar role that the other Red Tornado did for Young Justice, helping out a young hero team. Just a way to emphasize how Steph and Tim's teams can serve as foils to each other.
Next up is the archer of the group, Mia Dearden aka Speedy II. Tho she should probably have a different name due to Roy still being Speedy atm. Maybe Speedette? Ehhh, gotta workshop that.
Anyways here's Mia and Steph meeting as civilians, with Mia showing off her bow. Mia seems to be in some sort of school uniform, perhaps Oliver is sponsoring her to go to a fancy academy? Her backstory is similar to canon, with Oliver saving her from bad people. I'm not sure if her story should be exactly the same as canon, since Mia is 10 but terrible things like that do happen in real life to young children. But I don't know if a goofy au like mine is the best place to show that. But for now lets just say Mia is currently trying to heal and become a hero like Green Arrow.
I imagine Steph and Mia get along really well, they just get each other in a lot of ways. Steph can see Mia might be hurting inside and wants to cheer her up, hopefully with all of Mia's new friends she can.
Last up is Jaime Reyes aka Blue Beetle III. Unfortunately I haven't drawn him all that much so no individual drawing for him, tho I do like him.
As for why Jaime, I remember liking him in the YJ cartoon and found him pretty likeable in the comics as well. But I've always like the spiderman hero archetype anyways, which Jaime fits really well (I mean, it was done on purpose). Static and Sideways also fit the archetype and are in the team as well. Arguably you can say add Steph to this too, probably more than Tim in my personal opinion.
Another reason I wanted to add Jaime is that he and Steph almost became teammates in canon, in a failed Young Justice project. What could have been huh. Third reason is more silly tho, if Barbara and Ted Kord start to date in this au, imagine how grossed out Steph and Jaime will be lmao.
So there's four new teammates for the team, but! I've got a couple extra for tomorrow! And later on I hope to finally post some more doodles of these characters (some of them are real old, more than a year old). Especially Miri, she turned out to be such a fun character, and I've always liked the all the lantern corps. Here's a bonus doodle of them btw (with bonus unmasked Sideways):
So many new members, well, hope you liked all that!
#DC Comics#Stephanie Brown#Jackson Hyde#Kara Zor El#M'gann M'orzz#Miri Riam#Maxine Hunkel#Jaime Reyes#Mia Dearden#Carol Ferris#Derek James#my art#Training Wheels au
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Thinking about Elizabeth Woodville as a gothic heroine is making me go insane. She entered the story by overturning existing social structures, provoking both ire and fascination. She married into a dynasty doomed to eat itself alive. She was repeatedly associated with the supernatural, both in terms of love and death. Her life was shaped entirely by uncanny repetitions - two marriages, two widowhoods, two depositions, two flights to sanctuary, two ultimate reclamations, all paralleling and ricocheting off each other. Her plight after 1483 exposed the true rot at the heart of the monarchy - the trappings of royalty pulled away to reveal nothing, a never-ending cycle of betrayal and war, the price of power being the (literal) blood of children. She lived past the end of her family name, she lived past the end of her myth. She ended her life in a deeply anomalous position, half-in and half-out of royal society. She was both a haunting tragedy and the ultimate survivor who was finally free.
#elizabeth woodville#nobody was doing it like her#I wanted to add more things (eg: propaganda casting her as a transgressive figure and a threat to established orders; the way we'll never#truly Know her as she's been constantly rewritten across history) but ofc neither are unique to her or any other historical woman#my post#wars of the roses#don't reblog these tags but - the thing about Elizabeth is that she kept winning and losing at the same time#She rose higher and fell harder (in 1483-85) than anyone else in the late 15th century#From 1461 she was never ever at lasting peace - her widowhood and the crisis of 1469-71 and the actual terrible nightmare of 1483-85 and#Simnel's rebellion against her family and the fact that her birth family kept dying with her#and then she herself died right around the time yet another Pretender was stirring and threatening her children. That's...A Lot.#Imho Elizabeth was THE adaptor of the Wars of the Roses - she repeatedly found herself in highly anomalous and#unprecedented situations and just had to survive and adjust every single time#But that's just...never talked about when it comes to her#There are so many aspects of her life that are potentially fascinating yet completely unexplored in scholarship or media:#Her official appointment in royal councils; her position as the first Englishwoman post the Norman Conquest to be crowned queen#and what that actually MEANT for her; an actual examination of the propaganda against her; how she both foreshadowed and set a precedent#for Henry VIII's english queens; etc#There hasn't even been a proper reassessment of her role in 1483-85 TILL DATE despite it being one of the most wildly contested#periods in medieval England#lol I guess that's what drew me to Elizabeth in the first place - there's a fundamental lack of interest or acknowledgement in what was#actually happening with her and how it may have affected her. There's SO MUCH we can talk about but historians have repeatedly#stuck to the basics - and even then not well#I guess I have more things to write about on this blog then ((assuming I ever ever find the energy)#also to be clear while the Yorkists did 'eat themselves alive' they also Won - the crisis of 1483-85 was an internal conflict within#the dynasty that was not related to the events that ended in 1471 (which resulted in Edward IV's victory)#Henry Tudor was a figurehead for Edwardian Yorkists who specifically raised him as a claimant and were the ones who supported him#specifically as the husband of Elizabeth of York (swearing him as king only after he publicly swore to marry her)#Richard's defeat at Bosworth had *nothing* to do with 'York VS Lancaster' - it was the victory of one Yorkist faction against another#But yes the traditional line of succession was broken by Richard's betrayal and the male dynastic line was ultimately extinguished.
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OK so lets keep it rolling!
Ichimatsu:
mr.my pace? yeah he's an experimental freestyle waving popper
in high school he took hip-hop dance classes because he thought it was fun and his friends were like "woaah ichi thats so cool"
but even though he enjoyed dancing, he stopped going after high school because he just felt suffocated learning in front of others
but the fundamentals were still ingrained in his body and he really enjoyed the pop and lock week they had
he started to watch videos and discovered waving and really loved how fluid and dynamic it was
now he takes from all genres and does what he wants, he lets the music take control and its truly a sight to behold
his dancing style focuses on a lot on flexibility and fluidity but stays grounded in fundamental hip-hop techniques
he still absolutely hates dancing in groups and has stopped going to competitions
he still does the occasional dance battle with his brothers and they beg him to get back into the game
especially jyushimatsu, he sees how much ichi enjoys dancing, but limits himself because of his anxiety
also, despite being an incredibly talented dancer, ofc ichimatsu thinks he sucks
(somehow even though i don't think about ichi as much as the rest i always end up writing the most for him, maybe its bc i feel like i have to do him justice lol)
i've given up on gifs, he dances like this and when he's really feeling himself and having fun he dances like this (specifically rubix, the guy in the black shirt)
jyushimatsu:
jyushi and ichi are the hip-hop free style duo, but jyushi leans more towards break dancing and lite feet
jyushimatsu is ofc, very high energy and a very charismatic dancer, he competes in freestyle dance competitions
he's also incredibly good at riling up the crowd and getting them on their feet, he'll even cozy up to them during a dance and get them to join him
nothing is off the table for him, he'll pull from ballet and jazz if he sees fit
he almost always wins these competitions because his body follows jyushimatsu physics and bends in whatever angle at his will
but he has a very precise vision, like it looks like he's just doing whatever but he knows exactly what he's doing
he usually dances alone, even though he does enjoy dancing with others, they can't quite keep up with him at times
he especially loves dancing with ichi though, he's the only one that can match his energy (not physical energy, but like vibes)
jyushi is actually the one that sparked this idea for me, it's bc i saw the first round of this on tiktok (the angles were better) and thought "dude this is exactly how jyushimatsu would dance". He dances like both of them, the camera sucks but the first guy, nonoy, is grinning the whole time and teasing the other guy.
Todomatsu:
now totty is hard for me because i wanted totty to do ballet, but osomatsu was already ballet (i need to conform to canon or else i will die)
and i still lowkey have no idea which one i want him to do
but i think i settled on something fun
ok so totty wasnt really into dance in high school, but he didn't want to feel left out so he decided to take his local jazz/musical theatre dance class
he enjoyed it, but stopped after high school and stopped dancing all together because he wanted to break free from his bros
then later he rejoined one of the local adult classes because he remembered that most of the students are girls and ofc totty is never one to pass up an opportunity to get some numbers (well except sometimes he is in season 3, but thats besides the point)
he likes it, but one time some of the girls go to watch this freestyle dance competition and invite him
totty watched in awe
he wanted to be different from jyushi and ichi, so he always tried to avoid anything freestyle or hiphop related, but man it was so awesome
so now totty combines hiphop and jazz choreo and makes his own choreography
all the girls in his studio really like him and think his vision is really cool...but not cool enough to date him
he makes his own tiktok dances to viral songs and like, one of them went semi-viral and he was so proud of himself
that being said, he'll mainly post cutesy dance trends and trending tiktok dances and try to get the girls to do them with him
sometimes he gets jyushi and ichi (wearing a mask for anonymity ofc) to be in his tiktoks and he gets really mad because those are the ones that go viral
he never lets choro, oso, and kara in his vids because they get so annoying about it
He's a fusion between the leopard hat guy in this video and the choreo in this vid
NOW those are my hcs, I will cover the official dancematsus in another post
so a while back i learned that there was an episode of osomatsu kun where chibita and osomatsu compete to be prima donnas in iyami's ballet and it got me thinking: what if osomatsu continued and all the brothers became dancers?
so i came up with different types of dance i thought they would get into, but then i found out that theres already an official art with them as dancers!
so I'm gonna compare my hcs with what the staff came up with
(I'll add gifs for how i think they would dance)
Osomatsu:
ok so ballerino oso is extremely disciplined when it comes to ballet, but nothing else in his life.
he's a very charismatic and energetic dancer, he takes up roles like basilio from don quixote and romeo
he used to make perverted comments about the girls costumes in high school and he got reprimanded so badly that his instructor threatened to drop him. he never made a comment like that again.
he still gets in trouble for sneaking drinks and fatty food after performing though
he loves taking up upbeat roles, but his instructor challenges him to channel his emotions into darker roles, he understands that osomatsu has always been a troubled person.
when he gets angry with his brothers, instead of shutting down like he does in the anime, he goes to the studio and practices for days.
the ballerinas in his company warn new students about him "yeah he's a pervert and lazy, but he's a decent guy on stage so don't worry about dancing with him"
Karamatsu:
ballroom, the drama, the emotion, the chemistry, the ROMANCE THE SPARKLEEESSSSS karamatsu loves ballroom dancing.
He specializes in latin ballroom dancing, but can do standard as well
his instructors get mad at him because he loooves to improvise and give his partner an extra twirl and an extra lift when he can
he always ends up falling in love with his partner, he can't help it! "heh, dance and love are the same" he says.
his parters always end up almost crushing on him back, but recoil when they interact with him outside the studio
they're put off by him and his painfulness, but ultimately love dancing with karamatsu. his energy is infectious and always makes for a great show
they get annoyed with him sometimes though, he tends to like to steal the show
he will always find a way to incorporate blue sequins or glitter into his dance wear, his choreographer will literally monitor him until the day of the competition and somehow an hour before it starts he's covered his suit sequined stars (i couldn't find good gifs for him but the couples in this video are exactly how i imagine it)
Choromatsu:
ohhh choro is a tap dancer, and a pretentious one at that
he wanted to be the one to do ballet because it demands a lot of discipline, but ultimately he wasn't athletic enough
he loves tap though and he'll physically fight anyone who makes fun of tap
he mostly does solo choreo because he gets nervous dancing with girls
oh, but if it's group choreo he'll be that guy that'll correct people if they're making a mistake
when people started getting mad at him, he started doing that thing that theater kids do "choreographer, it's supposed to be your left foot on that beat right? ok thanks, just making sure" and looks at you
the people in his studio think he's annoying, but ultimately respect him as a dancer
he works extremely hard, he'll practice every single day and make sure every beat is perfect
he makes his own tap choreo to nyaa chan songs and does them at her concerts
wow it's so much harder to find good tap dancing gifs that you would think, just watch this
k so this post is getting right long, i'll cut it off here and continue later. but keep in mind that these are MY head canons and I will cover the official stuff too
#osmt#ososan#osomatsu san#おそ松さん#todomatsu#jyushimatsu#ichimatsu#i hope you guys are happy#bc my youtube recs are all dance videos now#and i had to watch so many videos to find what i was looking for you guys dont even know man#karamatsu#choromatsu#osomatsu
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#i'm fine I just had a bit of a nothing burger day and got like no art done#and tomorrow I gotta get up and do it all again#and I still have no job but am fighting with not really wanting to jump back into dealing with people#but I do like gotta a job and health insurance#anywho gonna scream into the void for a second about my first world problems#gaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhaaaaaaaahaaaaaaa#i wanna work I just don't wanna get something that's gonna burn me out#cuz its so hard for me to get my brain to focus into drawing/writing even when I have time#and I don't want to have no energy left to create#cuz I don't have too much else going on#i don't wanna just work until I die#but I'll die a lot more comfortable with a job :p#anyway thats my rant :p#gonna watch James Bond with my dad now
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Been thinking about a postgame scenario that goes in a direction I don't think canon would ever take in a million years, but like... I think it could be really compelling...
And that's the idea of Chrom becoming Plegia's king after Grima's defeat. And specifically giving up his claim to Ylisse's throne to do it (leaving it to Lucina when she's old enough).
Because here's the thing... The game ends with Grima's defeat/Robin's return in the sacrifice ending. It doesn't address what happens to Plegia at all, and while I personally maintain that Aversa is the most qualified candidate to rule, her canon ending provides that she goes back to the village she was born in. So, fine. Let's give her that.
But SOMEONE has to do SOMETHING because realistically, Plegia is in dire straits. Validar, the king and the leader of the Grimleal, is dead. He gave, like, ALL of Plegia's resources to the Ylissean League (well, okay, we don't know how much, if any, he left in reserve, but... He really needed Walhart gone and it's not like he had any reason to think that anyone would need resources once Grima was running around, so... chances are good there's little to nothing left in the wake of the averted apocalypse). And the population has been utterly devastated, because not only did people (exactly how many is unclear, but presumably it took more than just a couple) have to sacrifice themselves to renew the fell dragon's power, but Grima was also spawning Grimleal onto their back at the final battle. Their losses are so immense...
So first of all, Chrom is definitely responsible for taking all their resources and setting half of them on fire (Now to be fair, Flavia and Basilio are also responsible, but... Idk, I kinda feel like they'd bicker with each other over who has to do the crappy parts of the job and then agree that they should just ask Chrom if he can do it. Like "Haha, if you didn't want to deal with thieves ambushing the Longfort to steal construction supplies, you shouldn't have gone and beaten me at the last tournament!" "Oh, shut up. Let's see if Chrom can send his thief friend over to talk these guys down. Or kill them, whichever." I mean, Chrom is always going to be their guy who knows a guy.) There's just no way Chrom would abandon the surviving Plegians who need help anyway, but especially not when he knows the war with Valm would've ended before it could begin without them.
Of course, there's the historical hostility between Ylisse and Plegia to consider, but... If anyone's protesting, it's probably the Ylisseans. Because the survivng Plegians, uh... probably were never Grima's most devoted followers in the first place (if you really wanted to give Grima your life, you'd rush to the front of the line at the Dragon's Table, right?) and even if they used to consider themselves true Grimleal, the religion's leadership is destroyed, and—for the purpose of this scenario, I'm considering it post-sacrifice ending—the fell dragon is gone and not coming back. These people narrowly avoided becoming Grima's breakfast or Grima's meat shields. They all almost certainly know someone who wasn't as lucky. And the one who saved them... Well, it was Chrom, wasn't it? Because he believed in humanity enough to challenge the concept of fate, a fate that the people of Plegia were surely taught was inescapable. Despite their history with Ylisse, it's hardly unreasonable for them to see Chrom as a savior to them specifically. The second coming of the Hero-King who ought for the lives of all humans, really.
And yeah, I'm going here... Chrom is Marth's descendant. Marth was Altean. Former Altea is is modern Plegia, so technically, the people can argue that he's actually theirs.
Doesn't it sort of make sense, even? Plegia is ruined, the god to whom the theocracy was devoted killed. "What we need is to restore the glory of ancient Altea!" And who better to help them than Chrom, Marth's successor in blood and in spirit?
But Chrom would frown and say no. Of course he's going to help them restore their country to prosperity—or at least to independent, peaceful functioning. But king? Sheesh, that's going too far. Come on guys, you don't really want that. Besides, he's already ruling Ylisse...
Except, he's not ruling it as Exalt. At least, not at first he's not. He forswore the title when he started his rule and in canon he is only official welcomed as Exalt after Grima's defeat. But what if he just... continued to not accept it. It's not like he ever wanted to be Exalt. He only has the right to rule because Emmeryn died—because he failed to protect her. It has nothing to do with any of his successes.
But if the Plegians made him their king, then it would be because of his own accomplishments.
And in a way I also can't help but find it heartwarming, because it was the Plegian people who got him to truly understand Emmeryn's ideals. He wanted peace, he wanted to follow her path, but it wasn't until the Plegians took her sacrifice for the peace offer it was and refused to continue fighting Ylisse that Chrom was finally able to comprehend what it meant that Emmeryn believed that all people wanted the same thing, that peace is something for everyone and not just purehearted saints like her who would never hurt a fly. So wouldn't it be sweet to expand on that existing connection? For the people who once bore a grudge against him and his nation to say, actually, our home is your home and you belong with us... For Chrom to reach back and decide that these are his people and that he will protect them...
Especially because that's what he's always done for Robin. Your father doesn't get to determine your path for you, your past doesn't dictate your future, you always have a place beside me because we are two halves of a greater whole. This AU is definitely a chrobin AU, because when Robin gets back I want them to rule at his side (after all, I do have feelings about Grima's loyalty to a people who have been praying to them to end their suffering for a thousand years).
Now, I do think that Chrom would never leave Ylisse while little Lucina was still growing up, but... Honestly it would probably take quite some time to establish a castle for Plegia's new ruler anyway (especially if they go super hard on the Altean revival theme and want it to be IN former Altean territory, which has become the "border wastes" and undoubtedly needs some help... But EVERYWHERE in Plegia needs help, so what better time to give the land some attention?) So when Lucina is an adult she can take over as Ylisse's true Exalt, and Chrom can focus his efforts on the other side of the border. I think he'd still be awkward about the whole thing, approaching it like "Well, I guess I'm here if you all still want me..." but Robin's there to give him confidence and the people there are SO excited for their hero to come and live with them and together they all usher in a new era of peace and prosperity as Ylisse and Plegia themselves become like two halves of a greater whole.
#this au kinda came to me out of nowhere today but also it's based on years of awakening brainrot so it's kinda also not out of nowhere#idk i've been thinking a lot lately about how risen king chrom wears a crown and how grima never does#and i just wanted like... a good timeline variant of rkc kinda? plegian king chrom?#and i was thinking about how much chrom resists becoming the exalt#and i was thinking about how he still resents the ylisseans that threw rocks at emm#and i was thinking about the hierarch who betrayed emmeryn being a longtime family friend who helped guide her whe she was young#and i was thinking about how chrom has every reason to be more grateful to those plegian soldiers who threw down their weapons in the war#than to any member of the ylissean nobility#and it just hit me like... you know what... he could be very happy in plegia. no apocalypse required#i've written fics where chrobin rule plegia before but never one where the primary ruler was chrom so i am full of new thoughts on this one#uh but don't get too excited because i don't really have the energy to write a real fic for this au any time soon asdfghjkl#nevertheless i'm tagging it for reference...#my writing#fe13
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Apparently I can meet my goal of roughly 400,000 words in 6 months if I just somehow write at least 2,200 words a day ghbjh... Almost 2,500 today... huzzah...
#Definitely not going to be able to stick with it just due to like... being realistic about my energy levels and etc. ESPECIALLY as we#enter the Evil Summer and it becomes hot all the time. But... one can attempt.. at least...#I'm also a very slow writer since I tend to re-read and edit while I write. and only move onto the next section once what I'm writing#seems okay. Which is easy for visual novel type stuff. since ''sections'' of a conversation are more clearly marked (like if you#have a menu option with 5 different dialogue choices. finish the character's response for choice 1 before moving onto 2. etc.)#Especially since when I'm done with a whole quest I always follow it up by playing through it and picking every option and making sure it#actually all works okay and etc. So I am already going to see it all a second time. Then I can go back and reorder a few words or remove#certain sentences that don't sound natural when I read them out loud (I always read it all outloud to myself since it is... just peple#talking.. it should sound like natural dialogue in their voice. etc). But my ''first draft'' is kind of not as first drafty since I pause t#edit a lot as I go along. So it also takes longer probably than it would take other people who I think treat a first draft as more#of a loose guideline or something. AANYWAY...#80F in my bedroom right now again... huzzah... I did end up finishing and recording that sims build video before the heat wave (or is#it really a heat wave if it's just summer..?? lol) came in.. but now... augh.. the editing... plus the costume photos and all else... Much#to do as always.. Often such a long todo list.. a giant scroll hung upon the walls of the evil hermit wizard tower..#Anyhow.. I hope I can finish getting ready for bed early in time to reward myself with a game of tripeaks solitaire whilst I snack on#cheddar cheese and some of those preserved artichokes in a jar. hrgm... I actually have nasturtiums (ultimate best flower) on the#deck again this year but I had to move them all into a corner today because the leaves were getting burnt by the sun lol.. Also am now more#cautiously weaving through social media to ignore all dragon age news. NOT bc of spoilers (I actually love spoilers/literally never play#any game until there's full guides on it I can read to plan my entire playthrough based on knowing exactly what I want to happen lol + mods#and etc.) but just because I'm so busy with my ownprojects I simply do not have the brainspace to dedicate... Yes I love to think#about elves and fictional universe lore. but no.. I pretend I do not see it. Does not exist to me actually. ghgj.. OHH also took som#cool pictures of flowers in the garden section of a store and I wanted to do like.. character designs based on the colors of the flowers o#something. but that might just be another unnecessary project to add to the pile.. I want to commit to the daunting task of dyeing my#hair again some time.. hrm.. this is all of the updates I can think of. As if a bunch of random tags make up for never posting anything for#weeks on end lol.. alas.. too warm to think properly I suppose.. .. I neeeeeed a long lost relative to leave me some million dollar#estate in their will so I can have the resources to move to a colder climate or something ..augh#.. but for now.. I shall toil away in my little wizard tower trying to write 2000 something words a day whilst sweating and such ghbj
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6k in and my head is about to explode. STILL not allowed to say what i want :(
#this fic is going to get negative notes i can already tell lmao#the scope of appeal is so stupidly narrow#but That Does Not Matter#i have to believe that#its for ME#its what i want to see and its what makes me happy#i will never put this in a real post because i would be immediately dragged into the square and burned for hypocrisy#but i think its worth saying#this is rasmr specific i dont know about any other fandoms so dont take this as a universal rule#if you go into your favourite tag variant (e.g. 'redacted [x character name]' or 'redacted [genre]')#and sort by 'top' rather than 'latest'#i would like you to scroll down until you find fic#by which i specifically mean PROSE - not bulletpoints or hcs or matchups or those sorts of things#(this is not to say that those things aren't good or worthy of respect - they ARE - but that's not what i'm talking about here)#i would like you to just think about how long it takes you to find a fic in there#because surprise! it's almost certainly longer than you would hope or indeed expect#now........ i wonder why that is?#i don't mean to sound egotistical or selfish or self-aggrandising through all this#but.... you know. fic writers - during their one life on this earth - put in an AWFUL lot of their real time and energy and love into this#into writing things for other people who they will never know or meet to enjoy for FREE on the internet#i don't think you can be surprised that it's a bit disheartening to do all that and then be met with basically silence#it's like cooking for people yk?#some fics are more complex/longer/time-intensive than others - in the way that making a five-course meal is more work than making a sandwic#but if someone made that food for you - whether it was a cookie or an entire christmas dinner - you'd still say thank you...... right?#you wouldn't just take it from them and leave the room - then eat it in total silence where they can't see - and then not say anything...?#if you liked it - or even if you didn't! - wouldn't you still say thank you? wouldn't you tell them that it was nice and you enjoyed it?#that you liked the ingredients they chose or the way they cooked it or the toppings they chose to put on it?#for the sake of everyone whose ever cooked you a meal i hope you would#because i'll tell you something for free - you will be scrolling on that tag for an uncomfortably long time. why is that?#because reblogs/comments/kudos/likes are to fic writers what 'thank you' is to a cook
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I think i'm just full of repressed aggression, and it's all slowly seeping out every time i interact with the world
#reli-rambles#i just read a story and bro...#the fresking ml is so stupid i wanted to bonk them#no i didn't think of twisting his neck wdym#HDJSNNSNJSJ#but srsly tho#*cough* i shall ramble a bit#WHY IN THE WORLD THAT KIND OF GUY IS THE KING???#bro ur just joking with me cuz i sure as heck won't believe in that guy#he's so obsessively insane and man i wanna know what ppl have been teaching him because his actions are all stupid#anyway thr good thing is he's dead but in his next life he still remember his past life (ml's buff) and STILL DO THE SAME STUPID THINGS#stop bothering fl????#istg everybody would flip out if they knew ur the ml 🙄#okay i've calmed down now... this is just my rambling btw so don't mind me LMAO#there's also another guy who is like barbeque sauce but expired#he's good but gosh... i'd throw him away#his characteristics seem solid to me but i doubt he would be delusional + stupid in the head if HE'S THE FRICKING MASTER OF THE MAGIC TOWER#he's... okay#anyway i'm done slandering two mls because man i am not gonna spend my energy just doing this lmao#i need to eat now bye bye#also if u ever see a story similar to my descriptions then no it's probably not that one BECAUSE THERE'S A LOT OF STORY LIKE THIS#the author is pretty good tho they make quite solid ideas sometimes but other time i feel like they're forcing some kind of trope that-#shouldn't have been there in the story but whatever i'm not the author and i don't have a say in what ppl want to write#just please keep the... idiotic charas at a minimum or at least make it comedic so it would be cute 😭😭#ANYWAY I AM ACTUALLY STOPPING NOW TO EAT BYE YALL
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I SWEAR I KEEP TRYING TO DO ART BUT THEN SOMETHING GETS IN THE WAY AND THEN I PROCRASTINATE AND THEN SIX MONTHS PASS
#this has been happening for like TWO YEARS BUT I SWEAR TO GOD I AM TRYING.#my usual art motivation (my webcomic idea) has been put on hold for a bit and because of that i forgort... everything#my will to draw specifically#but in my defense i have been writing k*arlach / oc indulgences and i've been VERY focused on finishing it#i also got a marketing manager (my friend <3) to help with advertising my comms and stuff so uh... look forward 2 that#i might need to start posting all of my art on a sideblog so she doesn't have to log into my main though#so there might be some changes#but i promise i want to do art!!!! but there's always something to do first and then months pass :(#or i get the urge to draw and then life is like ''have a cancer scare'' lmao...#(ended up being cancerous actually </3 but because it's skin stuff it was easy to remove)#(but that really took the piss out of me for most of july... not to mention that ffxiv released a new expansion and i have been...#having a good time with my new friends doing content and stuff!) i also made a friend irl after like 3-4 years of total isolation#we feed ants and watch them move around together and comment on their behaviour patterns...#but like when i say this takes literal hours.#we just sit out there and talk about random shit and watch ants walk across the floor. both of us hate ants btw.#like we don't like having them ON us so it's a bit like playing with fire.#but anyways yeah i've also been really low energy recently too bc of the heat and burnout from college...#but the good news is that i'm transferring in fall to a much more relaxing college & courseload!#i'm hoping it'll stop me from feeling so... awful ?? i guess ??#like i was taking classes i didn't need to that were really difficult & punishing#not to mention extremely boring & hard to pay attention to when dealing with literally anything. i did not want to be there.#my next college is much more interest-oriented so i will finally be able to take classes i want to and learn from them...!#and then maybe i will feel a bit more in control of my life / more encouraged to draw#anyways thank u for reading my ramble. hoping it all comes together soon.#i need to do a lot of work but most of it is so i can sell commissions again#but once the karlach fic is done we're so back on the webcomic train !!!!!!!!
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Honestly would love to try writing again but I don't think I would post it anywhere.
#i actually think its because of my mutuals putting out banger fics lately i've been kinda getting the itch to try it myself#i actually wrote two small pieces on here ages ago (if you remember them you the real mvp) and they were like. fine ig#but idk i wanna try it again#if i did post it would be on tumblr only tbh#i have a very specific scenario for captain au i want to write out#captain au's ultimate goal is a comic but comics take too much time and energy and i don't have a lot of energy atm#but there's a scene in hatanaka's palace that i want to write out really badly#especially after playing royal again recently#it would be the scene where the thieves encounter hatanaka's cognition of riku#i think cognitive selves are a little underutilized in the game post the second palace so i kinda wanted to go a little crazy with it#but we'll see lol i have very little experience writing so idk how confident i'd be in posting it#idk why im making this post even lol ig i just feel like talking#this blog is in a sense my diary lmao#hope y'all are having a nice day anyway. its cold here.
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Guys rq, if I'm doing an RP with you and I haven't responded yet, please LET ME LIVE MY LIFE. I will get back to you eventually I swear, but repeatedly reaching out about it will not get a response faster. I'm busy with school, I have mountains of work to catch up on, and feeling like responding to an RP is just another *task* I have to do just makes me distance myself from it more. Please give me more slack, I understand it's frustrating, but I am like this with EVERYTHING social atm. I am periodically responding to all rps when I have time and motivation to do so, and I'm even limiting irl things too. Please be patient with me.
#NOT TARGETED#multiple people have been kind of poking me for responses#as well as writing requests on here#like I'm just busy#please have patience#I am working to do these things#but I'm doing a lot of things for a lot of people outside of Tumblr#I appreciate all my requests#I will get to them I promise#like atp I'm always either isolating and working or just isolating and recovering#I'm distant from everyone#you didn't do anything wrong#my mental health is complicated atm too#ED stuff. its complicated#just please don't be reaching out and nudging me if you just want an RP response#I love talking to you all#but that's kind of all I have energy for rn#talking#I have maybe one RP I'm keeping up with daily#kind of#don't be offended please#I am still interested in our rp#I just need a sec#ty for coming to my Ted talk#love all my mutuals#please reach out if you want to#but I am slow to respond#like I'm basically dead a lot of the time#but I do like our interactions#okay I'm done mansplaining
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// Hello again! As you might recall, I've been meaning to make a new blog for Cayin's Elden Ring verse in hopes of better exploring its themes and aesthetics without diluting those of Cayin's main verse.
I wanted to take this soft "reset" as a chance to overhaul the presentation, make a blog that looks thematic, something that drives home some of the topics covered with just a look. Alas! As excited as I was to implement all these ideas, I've been struggling with motivation and focus for long enough to realize that I can't match my old expectations.
I've also come to the conclusion that if I wait until I'm satisfied with the blog (until it feels "complete" if you will) and continue to let my writing grow rusty and miss opportunities to write with my friends, I might very well never return to the hobby in this form.
With that in mind, I've decided to launch the new blog as a WIP. It's not going to be as fancy as I wanted, but I'm not waiting any longer to write! This isn't a decision I've made lightly as I'm very reluctant to make my work public when it's in an early state. I hate it!
But having made a lot of progress enjoying other creative outlets of mine, and having been unable to be a consistent writer for a little longer than... two years?? I think that taking the plunge is my best chance of solving this.
Now, this might feel a little strange to say so explicitly, but I want to make the following as clear as I can:
If you like Cayin but aren't interested in his Elden Ring version, there's no need to follow the blog. I understand the setting's not for everyone and you're free to enjoy this blog (yeleltaan) without engaging with the other one.
Likewise, if you like Elden Ring and are interested in the ER verse, but don't feel that interest towards Cayin's main verse, it's also perfectly fair to follow the new blog and not follow this one.
For newcomers: I understand that a blog lacking a proper about page and other information isn't easy to get into. It's in the works and I hope to be able to make the blog more welcoming for everyone sooner than later. Until then, feel free to message me for a short introduction to the character, I'll be happy to give it.
It's going to be a slow process, and I'm not sure how effective this change of attitude will be, but I still think this is the best move I can take. I'll be linking the blog shortly!
#ooc#long post I know but you know me :y#it's been like this for so long I just want to change it#I don't have the most energy or focus but I do have a lot of perspective I didn't before#here's hoping that will tip the scales#also: while I fully intend to welcome new interactions#it's going to be easier for me to start with a few people who have gone out of their way to continue to plot and discuss ideas#even all this time in which I've had trouble being proactive#really... I owe it to them tbh. But even if I didn't it just comes more naturally to me to write in those circumstances#that being said just as I've been so low activity I know others have struggled with this too#some period of silence isn't going to suddenly make me not care about what we had been doing up to that point#anyways! I hope you're all doing alright#if not then may that change soon :]
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Daily Log 4
Trying out (probably just temporarily) making short daily-ish notes about things, in an attempt to see if it helps me be more reflective or productive lol.
Activities: Woke up late because I went back to sleep with a headache briefly, then kind of struggled to focus all day ToT
Worked more on the aforementioned tapestry/painting type of thing. I've done the base layer of painting for the main image, now I'm lining in darker outlines. I wanted to finish the center art before getting into the intricate borders. Still haven't translated the text lol..
Made a small bowl and also a little box with a lid out of more avocado pits. Still just with random nail cuticle tool things and kitchen knives, as I don't have proper carving tools.
Finished editing and proofreading the new poll adventure post!! I don't have time to post it tonight because I need to get to sleep early but.. I have it Completely 100% Ready.. finally..
Also washed the clothes I got together yesterday. Called about the bloodwork. Sent an email to a doctor.
Reviewed some writing documents to get back into my game maybe?? (basically, I started working on a visual novel type game a few years ago, decided it was a huge project so kind of put it on the backburner for a while in favor of things that were more easily finishable/tangible. then later on a game website I play (similar to neopets or something, there are collectable little creatures, etc.) there was an opportunity for me to design a pet on site, so I made a smaller shorter visual novel centered around that, where people on the site have to play the game in order to earn the pet, and I have a google form for them to answer a few short questions about it. All of the feedback is quite positive (reached 200 responses a while ago! though still only like 4 comments on the itch.io page lol.. Mandatory Form vs. Optional Comments evil showdown), but sometimes I get commentary that's really enthusiastic and inspires me to start back working on the OTHER bigger game. The small game was kind of like, a proof of concept that was safe because I had a guaranteed audience, that has helped me gain more insight for the larger one.
Anyway, since I've abandoned the Main Large Game for so long, I have to re-read and review/probably rewrite A LOT of things just to pick it back up again as A Thing I'm Actively Working On, so it's another one of those tasks that I do maybe 45 minutes of and then realize it's going to take days and days and get discouraged lol..
Notable sights: Saw two cats in windows. No clovers. It rained a little today but I didn't get to go outside and see it. One of the pieces of asparagus in the fridge was like the size of a carrot, comically overgrown downright ridiculous looking asparagus. Maybe I'll get taller after eating it.
Goals moving forward: Consistent sleep schedule. Focus on social activities, finding new friends in the places I want to move, communicating with ones I have. Physical therapy exercises. Plant nasturtiums. Finish and upload videos, edit costume pictures & etc.
Notable foods: ASPARAGUS AGAIN BABEY.. yeaAAAAGHHH asparagus squad !!!!!!
#just posting these publicly since it feels more like I'm doing something or easier to hold yourself accountable if you make public#declarations of goals and progress or etc. .. perhaps.. for now..#I wonder if you can eat too much asparagus. Hopefulyl I don't get sick ghjbj#Still craving lots of savory foods and soups. Also in a big big worldbuilding mood.#Not enough to actually edit the worldbuilding slideshow videos apparently since I've barely done any of that all week#>:Y#(they are different though.. actively writing wolrdbuilding is different from like.. editing recordings of you talking about it#BUT STILL...)#In an ideal world I have a little house in scotland or canada or something and am sitting cozy by a window watching it#rain whilst I eat lasagna and like a huge buffet table of every single hearty food I am having Anemia Cravings for#and my cat is sitting near me and I am furiously sketching various designs for different worldbuilding details. I have finally found#a weird hermit platonic best friend I'm compatible enough to live with and they are up in the attic doing their own weird little hobbies#but every once in a while I can call them down and tell them about an idea so we can bounce concepts off of each other. I somehow walk away#with no heartburn or stomach upset or nausea despite eating 800 plates of craving foods. It's cold and summer#does not exist anymore but not in a Catastrophic For The Earth type of way more in a like.. I am in a magical bubble#that only affects my direct vicinity and sheilds me from the temperature ever getting above 65F#(also I have a comfortable amount of money and good doctors and reasonable health etc. etc. but that's a given in any Ideal Scenario lol)#oughh... I just want to eat hearty breakfast foods and think about elves for 5 hours.. is that so much to ask#Why must... responsibilities... capitalism... limited time and no energy to focus on 100 projects at once... why these things...#ANYWAY#daily log
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Welcome back to tumblr! Hope you enjoyed your break
It was very stressful. Ended up failing the marking period for English, but not by as much as I was failing before. Could still pull up the overall grade by the end of the semester.
#started writing a fic a few days ago. been a while since ive done that.#so far felix is very out of character but he's only gonna be the focus for the first chapter. plus i might go back and rewrite him.#maybe i should wait until the new chapter comes out tho so it's relevant to updated canon#anyway echos started brainrotting about chris in a /pos way so yeah a lot of my break has been rethinking old analysis#started to notice that he's a lot more fun if i get in the mindset that he's not poorly written he's just literally isaac's antagonist#also my siblings have been hyperfixating on DC so i watched a batman series. i think they're very disappointed in me for choosing batwheels.#snowy best vehicle#. what else#oh ive been doodling a nightmare design#been liking the idea of him and dream not being skeletons but dont wanna draw/write them as their canon human designs#because (if i'm correct) they get those designs at some point later in the story. and i don't want to confuse the timeline like that.#so ive been working on concept sketches for a less human design for them. ive also noticed that them being humans in canon actually#makes a lot of sense because the other guardians don't really have any connection between their species and it can be assumed that#whatever they are exists in the universes/multiverse they're from. so it makes sense for the twins to be humans because the utmv has humans.#. but i also like how they couldn't be given the human forms at first because of the lack of holes.#so the design im working on has gill/stripe-looking vents for the energy to come out of.#also gonna try to add little fire wisps into the design because i love their true forms so much#anyway i dont think there's been more that ive done. other than schoolwork. and watching qsmp.#oh i started working on an animatic. but i do that all the time. it'll be a bigger occasion if i finish one lol.#think im gonna still keep interaction on tumblr to a smaller scale because i wanna keep getting stuff done
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💞🎀💞
#what i wouldn't give if someone could perhaps hook me up with base icons of jonah hauer-king from the little mermaid#( and/or anything else but mainly that! )#i'm still kinda on hiatus from tumblr until i get moved/settled ( hopefully by sometime in october ) BUT#i could fiddle with icons or something in the meantime aklsdfjdksf i just don't have time / energy to ✨write✨#but i'm still on my little mermaid shit and cannot find like any resources for him *sobs*#... off topic but i also really wanna go see barbie again sdlkgjadsf#ANYWHO! same old same old stuff: stressed / overwhelmed with work and moving stuff#miss all of you lots and am available on mobile via IMs and discord if anyone wants to chat / plot or write off tumblr!#hope you're all having a great day / week! love youuuu!!#OH and the p*rn blogs have still not left me alone dalksfjdsf they feel so unhinged lately like wtf tumblr pls just function#00. // OUT OF AMMO ( OOC POST. )
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