#I just want to feel like I have friends and people are happy to see me
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summer's golden haze - chapter five
pairing: lando norris x reader
summary: a day trip to ibiza, a nightclub, and max—who can't keep his mouth shut. (5.3k)
a/n: apologies for the lack of new chapters these past few months! writer’s block is such a bitch but i’m happy to say that i am back and working on this series as best i can <3
previous chapter | masterlist
Everything people say about time flying when you’re having fun has never been truer. You’ve developed a close friendship with Lando and his friends, and something even better with the boy himself.
You’d say you were surprised at how fast you’ve fallen for him, but you’d be lying. Sure, you haven’t known him long at all, but it wasn’t hard to figure out that Lando Norris really was that missing thing in your life. He slots in like he was meant to, just as you hoped he would.
You’ve all found yourselves spending more time at their place than yours because it’s just nicer. Today is no different.
Lando’s chin sits hooked over your shoulder comfortably, stubble on his face a little scratchy, but it doesn’t annoy you. Especially not with the way the thumb of his hand on your waist is rubbing circles into the sliver of bare skin between your top and shorts.
He’s warm to the touch, but not unbearably so, more like a comforting warmth draped against you as he nuzzles closer.
He likes to be close to you, you've learned very quickly—more often than not always having some part of him touching you. Fingers intertwined with yours, an arm slung over your shoulders, a hand on your waist. When you're sitting, it's a thigh pressed against yours, a warm palm blanketing your knee.
Right now, he’s decided on sharing the same sun lounger as you, wedged himself in behind you comfortably.
Normally, you might’ve been put off by the sheer amount of casual physical affection he shows, but you can’t bring yourself to mind it. You want to be close to him all the time too, you’re just taking a little longer to warm up to instigating it.
“What’re you lot up to tomorrow?” He asks casually, walking his fingers down your arm.
“Mm, nothing probably. Might just do a beach day and chill out. Maybe take a little walk, I dunno.” You shrug. “You?”
“Flying to Ibiza for the day. My mate Martin’s doing a DJ thing at a club there, figured we’d go support a friend.”
You pout up at him, cooing. “You guys are so sweet.”
“Yeah, yeah, alright. Come off it now.” He rolls his eyes, pinching your hip. You squirm at the ticklish feeling, leaning over to press a kiss to his cheek. He perks up then, and you swear you can almost see the gears turning in his brain. “Would you guys wanna come with us? We could hit up the beach together, hit up Martin’s gig at night, then fly back here afterwards.”
“It’s a boys’ day trip, we wouldn’t want to crash it,” You insist, shaking your head. “We’ll see each other when you get back.”
“But I’ll miss you.” He frowns, wrapping an arm around your waist.
“I think you’ll be fine.”
He buries his nose into the crook of your neck, muffling his response. “No, I think I might die.”
It’s kind of sweet, you think, that Lando gets so pouty over not getting to see you for just a day. One might call him clingy, but you find it cute.
You attest it to the two of you still being in the honeymoon phase of your relationship, and it makes you happy, but something else gnaws at your stomach. You’re not even sure what it is.
Before you can say anything, he angles his head towards the rest of the group, covering your ears gently before shouting, “Oi! We’re all going to Ibiza tomorrow, it’s been settled already. We’ll swing round yours to pick you girls up, then head to the airport.”
He gets no objections from anyone, which you didn’t think he would, and it makes him beam.
You try to see it from his perspective. Sun, sand, beautiful views. The two of you get to spend the day together on the gorgeous beaches of Ibiza. If you put aside your worries, everything sounds wonderful.
So why do you have this nagging feeling this isn't going to go as smoothly as Lando says it will?
-------
It seems like you’ve just blinked and suddenly it’s the next morning and you’re heading into the hangar of a private airstrip.
The sun has barely begun to peek over the horizon, and honestly, you’re still half asleep. Most of your weight is leaned against Lando’s shoulder, who’s got a strong arm slung around your waist even as he chats away with his boys on the way in.
You haven’t packed much at all, just a bag with a nicer outfit you can change into before going to the club. Lando insisted on carrying it for you, so it sits looped over his other shoulder.
You aren’t sure what you were expecting when he’d brought up flying to Ibiza just for the day, but for some reason, the private jet your gaze lands on as soon as you enter the hangar has you a bit stunned for words. The unfamiliarity of your surroundings wakes you up even more as you ascend the stairs onto the jet.
A long sofa stretches across the wall opposite you, sleek white leather to match the cushy armchair you’ve settled into. Elegant polished dark wood tables separate the banks of chairs, and there’s a fully stocked bar at the back. Even the lighting of the cabin screams money, not those awful dim blue lights on commercial airlines.
This is the kind of thing you’ve only seen in movies, and now here you are about to enjoy a few hours on one with your very new, very rich boyfriend. It feels unreal, and honestly a little daunting.
Then in the back of your mind, you remember that this is probably just how his life is. Private jets and day trips to beautiful places, anything he wants anytime he wants it.
It’s one of two thoughts echoing through your head through the whole flight, the second one being that you don’t belong here. You don’t ride along in chartered jets, or go on impromptu day trips to beautiful islands. This is all completely uncharted territory for you and it makes your stomach twist, but you’re able to just pass it off as being a nervous flier.
Lando holds your hand, makes sure you’re comfortable the whole time, and that’s that. There’s no need to worry him about what’s running rampant through your mind.
Thankfully, you fall asleep not too long into the flight, and you don’t wake up until you’re on the ground in Ibiza. From there, it feels like a whirlwind has taken hold of you. You’re put into a car, driving, driving, driving god knows where.
Lando won’t tell you a thing, just kisses your cheek and tells you not to worry. And just when you think you’re at your destination, you’re squeezed into a golf cart that eventually drops you off at a seemingly private marina.
A large yacht sits before you, pristine white and polished to perfection. Lando beams, holding his arms out to the side like a game show host. “Ta-da! Look what we got for the day!”
You’re at a loss for words. When he’d agreed to a joint beach day, you thought you’d actually be going to…well, a beach.
“How the fuck did you manage to charter a yacht on such short notice?” Maren asks, clearly disbelieving.
Lando aims a look at her over his sunglasses, arching a brow. “What, like it’s hard?”
“Don’t do Elle Woods. You can’t pull it off,” Samira chimes in, to which Max nods his agreement.
“Everyone’s a critic nowadays,” Lando mutters under his breath, flipping both of them off. “Just get on the boat, dream killers!”
Your friends seem to be taking it in a much better stride than you are, because they go exploring the moment they climb right on alongside the rest of the boys, chattering excitedly. You, on the other hand, have to take a moment after Lando helps you on.
“So? What do you think?” He asks earnestly, rocking on the balls of his feet.
“It’s gorgeous,” You admit, chuckling nervously. “I didn’t know you were planning on getting a yacht.”
“Yeah, I got it so we could have the day to ourselves. Dock somewhere remote, swim and have fun without anyone else around. I know how important privacy is to you, and I wanted you to be able to relax today.”
It hits you like a heavyweight right then. Lando did this for you.
Went through all these last minute hoops that probably cost a fortune just so you’d feel comfortable. It has to be the sweetest, albeit most outrageous, thing anyone’s ever done for you.
You close the distance between you in two steps, throwing your arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. The force of it makes him stumble back a little bit, but he’s quick to recover, nuzzling deep into the crook of your neck with a smile you can feel pressed against your skin.
“That was one hell of a thank you,” He breathes. You shrug innocently and he laughs, slinging an arm around your shoulders. “Ready to have some fun?”
Turns out fun means putting an anchor down just off the shore of some small island not too far away. The day is starting to heat up a bit, perfect for you and the girls to stretch out on the cushioned benches and soak up the sun whilst the boys mess around in the water off the back of the boat.
You’re not sure how long you lay there, but you’re about ready to drift off when you feel something on your face. A drop of water hits you square in the forehead, another hits your cheek, and it makes you peek one eye open.
Lando stands right above you, beaming down at you as he drips water everywhere.
“Hi. Water’s nice,” He says, shaking his hair out not unlike a dog would shake out its fur. Droplets spray all over you with the action, making you squeeze your eyes shut momentarily.
You wipe the water off your face with an amused chuckle. “Yeah, I think I can tell. Thanks for that, by the way.”
“You should come in.”
“Maybe later. My sunscreen might not be dry yet.”
“I think it’s plenty dry.”
You arch a brow at his insistence, suspicious of the mischievous smile curving his lips, the glint in his eyes. He’s got something in that mind of his, and you’re starting to grasp what it might be. You sit up, inching away from him as he creeps closer. “Stop it. Lando, no. Don’t even think about it!”
He flops on top of you gently, enough to make you roll your eyes but not enough to smother you. “Lovely place to have a lay, innit?” He says innocently, squinting down at you.
“It was,” You groan dramatically, wrinkling your nose at the puddle of water beginning to pool around you. “Now I’m being crushed.”
“Are you calling me fat?”
“No, no, the words you're looking for are big and strong and handsome. Did I mention the word strong?”
“Twice, but I wouldn’t mind hearing it again.”
“Careful, or I might start to think you have a praise kink,” You joke. Though judging by the immediate blush that blooms across his cheeks and ears, you might’ve just discovered something about your boyfriend. “Oh! You—I didn’t mean it like—”
His lips press against yours before you can finish your sentence as if to deter you from finishing your sentence, and you forget what you were saying in the first place. You’ve found that this is usually the case any time Lando kisses you, any and all previous thoughts disappearing without a trace only to be taken up by one singular thing—him.
“Get a room, you two!” Samira grumbles, bringing you back to reality. “Happy for you and all, but I’m trying to sleep over here.”
Right.
You’d forgotten you were laying right next to her. Evidently Lando has too, because he whines something unintelligible, face hot against your bare skin as he buries his face into the crook of your neck in embarrassment.
“Sorry,” You mumble, giving Lando a pat on the back to make him get off you. He does so, but not without a pout. The quick kiss you press to his shoulder when you pull yourself into an upright position is enough to settle him.
He tilts his head invitingly, eyes bright now. “Come swim?”
“Is the water nice?”
“It’d be nicer if you were in it.”
“I’m serious, Lando! Is it cold?”
“Guess you’ll just have to jump in and see.” He shrugs, winks at you playfully before ambling away.
You can’t help but admire Lando as he walks away from you, broad shoulders on full display, muscles shifting as he stretches his arms high over his head. Moles dot the expanse of his back, and it makes you want to trace your fingers along his tanned skin like you’re playing connect the dots.
You’re expecting him to head for the back of the boat, but he goes towards the ladder heading up to the roof of the boat.
“Now what exactly do you think you’re doing?” You call after him, raising your hand to block the sun shining in your eyes.
“Jumping off the roof!”
“Are you serious?”
“It’s totally safe! I’ve done it before,” Lando reasons, waiting until he reaches the top of the ladder to offer you a smile. Somehow that doesn’t make you feel any better about him taking a flying leap from that high. “Wanna give it a go?”
The words fuck and no teeter at the very tip of your tongue, but he’s grinning so big, and you’d be lying to yourself if you said you weren’t at least a little bit intrigued.
Jumping off the roof of a yacht into crystal clear waters isn’t something you’ve ever thought you’d do, but then again, you’ve been doing a lot of things you never thought you’d do on this trip.
“If I die, I’m haunting your ass forever,” You warn. Once you’re up the ladder on your own, you accept his outstretched hand onto the roof as he leads you carefully to the edge, fingers firmly tangled with yours.
“There’s no one I’d rather be haunted by.”
He leaps, taking you with him before you can even think of a response, and for a few moments, you feel weightless, falling through the air with nothing but Lando’s hand to ground you. It feels less terrifying and more freeing than you’d thought.
You squeeze your eyes shut just before you hit the water, keeping them closed as you sink deeper and deeper. Lando’s hand leaves yours, but you don’t panic. You let yourself float, reveling in the quiet of being underwater until you start to feel it in your chest, and only then do you push towards the surface in a flume of bubbles.
The breath of air you inhale once you get above water is refreshing, and you tip your chin towards the sky, taking in the warm sunlight with a sigh. You wipe away the water cascading down your face before paddling back towards the boat, where Lando is sitting with his legs hanging off the back of it, waving at you.
“What’d you think?” He asks earnestly once he’s pulled you out of the water to sit next to him.
“That was…exhilarating.”
“See, I told you it was fun! Stick with me, baby, I’ll show you the world.”
Somehow, you don’t doubt that. If you’re an example of playing it safe, Lando is the definition of full sending it, impulse and chaos behind a handsome face.
-------
The day flies by, and before you know it, it’s time to head back to shore. Thankfully, the yacht is well equipped with a shower in the bathroom, so you’re able to freshen up nicely when the time comes.
Lando lets out a low whistle when you emerge back out onto the deck, eyes dragging down your whole body, drinking in the sight of you with his lower lip tugged between his teeth. The intensity of his gaze sends a shiver down your spine, makes your cheeks flame hot.
“Damn, you’re hot, girl!” He grins, winking at you.
“Stop it,” You huff, adjusting the strap of your heel.
“What? It’s true! Can’t I pay my hot girlfriend a compliment?” He argues, looking absolutely giddy. “C’mon, give me a spin.” You roll your eyes but oblige, and he whistles again. “My god, I’m a lucky guy.”
“You’re so ridiculous,” You chuckle, letting yourself be tucked under his arm as you make your way to join the rest of your friends.
“If ridiculous means obsessed with you, then yes, I am ridiculous.”
The place is only a stone’s throw away from the public beach near the marina and already bouncing when you get there. You’re expecting to fold into the crowd of people, but Lando skirts around it, heading for the very front of the giant area, towards the DJ box.
Maren’s hand clamps around your arm, squeezing tightly. “That’s Martin fucking Garrix!” She hisses, jutting her chin towards the stage aggressively. “You didn’t tell us Lando’s friend Martin was Martin fucking Garrix!”
“He didn’t even tell me, how was I supposed to know?!” is all you can utter back in response.
You’re just as taken by surprise as she is. You’d have never expected Lando’s friend Martin to be Martin Garrix. It’s not a connection you would’ve made at all, but you keep forgetting Lando is actually famous. Of course he has famous friends.
Martin gestures for one of the other people there to take over the set, swapping out to come say hello as soon as he spots Lando. Both boys sport identical massive smiles.
“Mate, it is good to see you again,” He says earnestly, bringing Lando into a tight hug. “I’ve been meaning to make it out to a race! You look great out there, though.”
Lando shrugs, enthusiasm flickering a little at the mention of work, but only for a split second. “Could be doing better, but yeah, cheers!”
Martin’s eyes flick over to you and he must get the sense that you’re a little nervous, because his smile turns more polite. “See you’ve made some new friends. Nice to meet you all, I’m Martin.” Then he notices how Lando’s moved closer to be next to you and you’re sure he’s already got things figured out. “Enjoy the set! I’m sure Lando will take good care of you.”
A few drinks in your system helps relax the knot of nerves sitting on your chest a significant amount, enough so to where you’ve actually started to enjoy yourself.
Lando’s hands slide around your waist from behind to sit at your hips, chest pressed up against your back as his chin drops down to nestle in the crook of your neck. He moves with the beat and you find yourself following, guided by his firm grip.
It’s so easy to get lost in him. You want to let yourself get lost in him, let yourself sink back into him and let your inhibitions free. But you can’t.
Anyone can see you right now, seeing as you’re not exactly in a private place. You’re tucked off to the side, partially obscured by Martin’s booth and entourage, but it wouldn’t be hard for someone to take a good look and recognize Lando, even with the smoke and flashing lights.
It’s risky to stay like this, and you want to tell him that, but then his lips press against the skin of your shoulder tenderly and your brain nearly short circuits. Heat blooms where he kisses you, traveling up to your cheeks and down to your toes like you've just been standing too close to a flickering fire.
It isn’t until his nose nudges in right behind your ear, and his warm breath fans across your heated skin, that you suddenly feel like you can’t breathe. The loud music dulls down into background noise to the pounding of your heart in your ears.
Taking a shuddering inhale, you wriggle free of Lando’s grip, mumbling something to him about needing air as best you can and taking off before he can figure out what’s happening.
You squeeze through the crowd rather forcefully, just needing to get somewhere without people, somewhere quiet where you can catch your breath and calm yourself down.
Somehow you find yourself back at the beach, throwing yourself down onto a bench and burying your face into your hands with a frustrated, strangled groan.
You don’t even know what’s wrong. Everything is good—you’re with your best friends, with Lando, and you’re supposed to be having fun. So why do you feel like you’re not supposed to be here?
The answer is a mystery even to you.
Watching the gentle waves lap over the shore proves rather soothing, a repetitive back and forth that helps ease your mind just the slightest bit. Only a few people mill around at this time of night, and they pay you no notice. You’re free to drown in your own thoughts without any of them being any the wiser.
Footsteps approach some time later. How long, you’re not exactly sure—wallowing in your own self pity feels timeless. The tips of a familiar pair of trainers step into your field of vision, and you make yourself let your gaze follow up to see the extremely concerned face of their owner.
Lando doesn’t say anything when you meet his eyes, just holds out his hand for you to take. When all you do is blink at him, then he speaks. “C’mon, let’s take a walk.” He tilts his head over his shoulder, towards the beach behind him.
“I can’t walk on sand in these heels,” You sniff, scowling a little bit. It’s a shit excuse, you know that, but you don’t feel like being very cooperative right now.
“I’ll hold them,” He replies, toeing off his own shoes first. You give in almost too easily, slipping off yours to give to him and accepting his other hand up. His fingers immediately intertwine with yours, tugging you closer to him as you step into the sand.
You walk along the shore for a while before either of you feel like saying anything, and it’s him who speaks first.
“Are you alright, love?” He asks gently. Rather than saying anything, you press your lips together. “C’mon, will you talk to me? Please?” His voice is so soft, so full of genuine concern for you it makes you start to feel bad. “I think it’ll make you feel better, instead of holding everything in.”
“All of this—the jet, the yacht, everything—it’s a lot to take in,” You admit quietly, staring hard at the sand in front of you. “And I know you did it for me, so I’d feel comfortable, and I love how thoughtful you are when it comes to these things. But I…this is all completely new for me. Like, I can’t help but feel like such an outsider.”
Lando’s expression crumples. “Oh. I didn’t mean to—that wasn’t my intention. To make you feel like you don’t belong.”
“You don’t need to be sorry. It’s not you, it’s me.”
“This sounds like the start of a romcom breakup scene,” He says, then he freezes, brows furrowing. “Wait, is this—”
“No! No, I’m not breaking up with you. I’m just…saying things.”
“Okay.” He nods, looking thoughtful. “How can I fix this, how can I help with what you’re feeling?”
You smile at him, grateful that he’s asking even though there isn’t anything for him to do about how you’re feeling. Putting it out there is already starting to help, actually. You were scared about your thoughts and feelings being cast aside, but Lando hasn’t done that. He’s nothing but kind and caring about it. About you.
“I’m fine, Lando. Thank you though, you’re sweet,” You assure him, kissing his cheek. “Mind if we walk a little longer before going back to Martin’s set?”
“We don’t have to go back,” He suggests. “We can stay here, go somewhere else, anything you want.”
“I want to go back. It’ll be fun,” You say, nodding firmly. The action is meant to reassure yourself more so than Lando, but he’s the one who looks wary.
His head cocks to the side, brows furrowing in gentle caution. “Are you sure?”
“Positive. I’ll be fine, I promise.”
-------
The jet is quiet on the way back to Greece after Martin’s gig lets out, with good reason. It’s late at night, bordering on very early morning, and everyone’s asleep except you and Max, who’s on the phone with his girlfriend.
Judging by the way Lando immediately found his way into your space as soon as you all settled in for the flight and promptly conked out not five minutes later, he's exhausted.
You glance down at the boy currently snoozing away curled up with his head in your lap, one of your hands clutched between both of his. His chest rises and falls rhythmically in his sleep, long lashes fluttering against the tops of his cheekbones.
Honestly, you don’t think you’ve ever been as content with someone as you are now with Lando. Even though things between you are still new, you feel like you really can be yourself without judgement around him too. And that talk you’d had at the beach has definitely lifted the weight off your shoulders a good amount.
Still, there’s something else you have to get off your chest. You turn your gaze on the only other person you can talk to right now, the one person you do want to talk to.
Max ends his call shortly after with a quiet love you, see you soon, catching your eye with a sheepish smile as he sets the phone down on the table. “Pietra says hi. She’s looking forward to meeting you guys when she flies in.”
“We’re excited to meet her too, she sounds amazing.”
“Yeah, she is,” Max sighs. Then he squints at you, like he knows something is amiss. “Is everything alright? You look like you’ve got something on your mind.”
You nod carefully, absentmindedly winding one of Lando’s springy curls around your finger. He exhales a little harder in his sleep when you let it bounce back into place but doesn’t wake up, just snuggles deeper into you. “It’s kind of a weird thing to bring up, but I feel like I have to ask.”
“Anything, go ahead. We’re friends, aren’t we?” It’s actually reassuring to know that Max’s opinion on you hasn’t changed since you’d gotten together with his best friend. You’re still friends just the same. That thought helps you muster up the courage to say what’s been weighing on you.
“Are you okay with us? Lando and I, I mean.”
You aren’t seeking his approval or anything, you just want him to be okay with the two of you. Or maybe you are, you’re not really sure. Max is Lando’s best friend, his brother. Other than Lando’s family, who you can't even think about meeting one day without your stomach churning, he's the person who's known Lando best since they were kids.
All these people, they’re everything to him, and it's important for you to know where they stand.
Max smiles warmly, says your name in that same soft, gentle way Lando always does when you get unsure. “You’re exactly the kind of person Lando needs in his life. Someone away from everything he’s got going on, someone who genuinely cares for him the way you do. You’re perfect for each other, and I hope you know that.”
You swallow the lump rising in your throat, smiling at Max through eyes glossy with welled up tears. His blessing brings you comfort, even if you weren't looking for it. “Thank you.”
“No, I feel like I should be the one thanking you.”
Your brows furrow, head tilting curiously to the side as to what he means. “Me? What did I do?”
“I know Lando’s filled you in about what’s been going on, so you know that he’s had a bit of a rough time lately.” Max says softly, clearing his throat to rid himself of the emotional thickness in his tone. You can tell how much Max really loves and cares for Lando. “He’s not been himself for a while, so this summer break, this trip, it was something that might help him leave it all behind. Just relax and find himself again, ‘cause it wasn’t good for him, bottling it all up like he was.”
Your heart aches for Lando. You can’t help but want to protect him. It was true when you’d been just friends and only grown truer since.
“I wasn’t sure if it was doing him any good, but then we met you, and I swear to god I haven’t seen him smile this much in ages. He’s been so happy, so in love, it’s been—shit, I don’t even know what else I can say other than thank you. You’ve made my best mate himself again, and…I think I owe you everything for that.”
You know there are other parts of his sentence that you should be paying attention to—being the reason Lando feels like himself again, making him happy—but only one thing echoes at the very forefront of your brain. “He’s in love with me?”
Max’s eyes widen almost comically at the realization of what he’s just done. The juxtaposition of the heartfelt conversation you’ve had up until this point with the sudden exaggerated panic in his eyes would’ve cracked you up had you not been stunned by what he’d just let loose. “I really need to learn how to keep my fucking mouth shut.”
“Lando told you he was in love with me?” You press. You’d kick him under the table, but then you’d risk waking up the subject of your conversation. Max just blinks at you, probably trying to figure out a way out of this. “Max.”
“Fuck, fine! Yeah, he told me.” You raise an expectant brow for him to elaborate. “Jesus, did you want a timestamp? He said, I think I’m falling in love with her.”
“He thinks?”
“Well, I don’t know! I’m not a mind reader, am I?” He huffs. Upon seeing your brows furrow, he sighs. “But if I could read his mind, I’d say yes. I’ve known Lando…shit, I dunno, ten years now? And I’ve never seen him like this with anyone else before. You’re special to him.”
“He’s special to me too,” You say softly, stroking a thumb over Lando’s knuckles gently. It should feel strange how much you feel for this boy and how strong those feelings are, but for some reason, it doesn’t. It feels exactly right.
“I feel obligated to give you the usual ‘hurt my best friend and I’ll hurt you’ bit, but I know you won’t. You’ve been a great friend these last couple weeks, and I trust you with him. I trust that you’ll love him as much as he loves you. You do, don’t you?”
You sigh, chuckling softly. “Figured out that one easily too, haven’t you?”
“Please, I’ve known since the day you lot came round ours for the barbeque. And both of you are shit at hiding things, by the way. You’d be terrible spies.”
“Thanks, Max. Seriously.”
“For calling you a crappy liar? You’re welcome, I guess?” He’s only joking, but you know he knows what you mean. Max is a really good guy, a really good friend, both to you and to Lando. “And if he ever hurts you, loop me in. I’ll give him a proper beating for hurting my friend.”
“Oh, I will. Avoid the face though, I kinda like it.”
Max snorts, shaking his head playfully. “Yeah, he’s got a nice mug, that one. Real moneymaker.”
The moneymaker is drooling a little bit with his cheek smushed up against your leg, but you pay it no mind. He still looks good.
He’s actually starting to look like your whole world, all wrapped up into one perfectly flawed human being.
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#lando norris#lando norris x reader#ln4#ln4 x reader#lando norris x you#lando norris fic#lando norris series#lando norris x fem!reader#lando norris imagine#summer's golden haze
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operation get luke a girlfriend | l.h
summary: jack is tired of watching his brother pine over his best friend so he takes matters into his own hands to get you both to admit your feelings for each other. His plan, however, goes horribly wrong.
this idea popped into my and had to write it. I've never written for Luke so I hope I've done it justice. this one has been cooking for a while so I hope you enjoy. This is basically 4.2k words of best friends to lovers.
@star2fishmeg this one's for you 💖
You and Luke were best friends. You would do anything for each other. It could be after midnight but you would still pick Luke up after a roadie. Luke would ditch a game of Chel with his brothers if you were having a bad day, bringing you your favourite food and movies. Whenever asked about it the same three words would be spoken. ‘We’re just friends.’ No one was convinced though, especially Jack. Watching his younger brother pine after his best friend was painful to watch. He wanted nothing more than his brother to be happy. You brought him out of his shell. Luke was quite reserved around people unless you were his family so Jack and Quinn were surprised when he said more than two words to you the first time you met.
It didn’t faze Jack that Luke was dressed up to go to a party, only smirking at him as he got his stuff together. He saw the way your eyes lit up when Luke agreed to go to your party and how his brother bit his lip to try and hide his smile after you hugged him. It was obvious there was something more between the two of you and Jack hoped tonight one of you admits it.
Luke wasn’t normally one for parties and he has a game tomorrow but when you invited him he couldn’t say no. The party playlist you curated was playing as he slipped into your apartment. It didn’t take long before he heard his name being called from across the room. “Luke! You came!” You shouted, flinging your arms around him while Luke wrapped his arms around your waist instinctively.
“Of course I came. You asked me to come.” He mumbled, loud enough so only you could hear him. Luke was glad you couldn’t see his face, heat rising to his cheeks.
“Well I appreciate it.” You told him, your lips tugging into a grin. “Let’s get you a drink.” You said, grabbing his hand and pulling him to the makeshift drinks table. Luke looked down at your intertwined fingers, liking the way it felt. He knew he shouldn’t though because you’re his best friend. Best friends aren’t supposed to miss the feeling of your hand in his when you let go. Luke missed the warmth of your hand in his cold one. He could shove them in his pocket to try and warm them up but he preferred the alternative, holding your hand. “Earth to Luke.” You waved your hand in front of his face, giggling as you brought him out of his inner spiral.
“Yes. Sorry. Thank you.” Luke stuttered out.
“Is everything okay?” You asked, eyebrows tugged into a slight frown, worried about him as he was a little distracted.
“Everything's fine.” He told you, trying to cover up the fact he was thinking about holding your hand again. You weren't convinced though. You've known Luke for a couple of years now and you knew when he wasn't being entirely honest with you. You also know he likes to downplay everything.
“I know it's easier said than done but you don't have to worry about tomorrow. You're going to defend like hell out there and win.” You said, giving his forearm a comforting squeeze. Luke loves your positivity. It's contagious and never fails to make him feel better. He knows that there's no way the team will win every game but you still tell him he will and he still goes onto the ice with a pep in his step. “Maybe you'll even score a goal.” You winked, your laugh was music to Luke's ears. He could kiss you right now. He wanted to kiss you but there's no way you felt the same about him so he buried those thoughts deep in his mind. He would rather bury his feelings than risk losing his best friend.
Your name was shouted from across the room before Luke could think of a witty comeback. You grabbed his hand and started dragging him with you. Luke’s eyes widened seeing the karaoke set up. “Not gonna happen.” Luke said, shaking his head vehemently.
“Relax Luke, I wasn’t going to make you sing. I just- This is going to sound dumb.” You started, biting your lip slightly. “Basically I kinda agreed to sing one song on the karaoke machine with Maria but now I’m nervous and, I don’t know, I thought having you there would make it not as bad. It’s dumb I know.” You rambled.
“It’s not dumb.” Luke mumbled. He was taken aback by your admission. You were one of the most confident people he knew. “I’ll be standing right here, cheering you on.”
You grinned, thanking him before going over to your friend. She handed you a microphone as the start of the song began playing. Your eyes twinkled as they found Luke in the small crowd of your friends that was gathering. To him, it felt like it was just the two of you in the room. He was so engrossed in your performance that he didn’t notice he wasn’t the only one watching you intently until someone nudged him, his drink spilling over his hand. “They’re amazing aren’t they?” They shouted over the music, gesturing to you at the front of the room. Luke couldn’t quite put his finger on it but there was something about this guy that made his skin crawl. He grunted in agreement hoping he got the hint that he wanted to be left alone until you came back over. He didn’t.
Luke didn’t even get a chance to greet you before the guy next to him did. He didn’t remember you mentioning anything about a new guy in your life. You told each other everything. Your new friends, any potential boyfriends or girlfriends, anything that is going on in your lifes so he was confused when you greeted him. “Luke this is Scott, Scott this is my friend Luke.”
‘Friend’ That stung a little. Luke wasn’t sure why though because it was true, you are friends yet hearing you introduce him to some guy, who you may or may not be hooking up with, as a friend caused an unfamiliar feeling to bubble inside.
“I’m gonna head out.” Luke mumbled, leaning down so only you could hear him. He wasn’t in the mood to third wheel which is what it felt like to him. Luke only knew you and your roommate at this party and only came for you.
“Oh, okay. Let me walk you out.” You said trying to hide the disappointment in your tone. You made the short walk to the front door, handing Luke his coat. “Thank you again for coming. I know you have a game tomorrow so it means a lot that you came.”
“Of course I came. You asked me to come.” Luke shrugged. He could add so much more, he wanted to in fact yet there was something holding him back, maybe it was the rational side of his brain that knew if he continued speaking it would change everything. He wanted to tell you that he knew coming would make you smile and he loves your smile. He wanted to tell you that he misses you when he’s gone, wanting to spend all the time he could with you.
“Well, I’ll be there tomorrow night, front row wearing number forty-three.” You told him, your lips turned up into a smile. It was contagious causing Luke’s to do the same. He loved when you wore his jersey.
“See you tomorrow.” Luke said, giving you a quick hug. You didn’t let go though, leaning up to give him a kiss on the cheek.
“See you tomorrow, Luke.” You said, turning quickly to the door and heading back inside the party.
Luke stayed frozen in the hall, staring ahead. He didn’t miss the way Scott was watching the two of you. He must have watched you kiss Luke. You kissed Luke. On the cheek. Something neither of you have done before. The most you have done was hug each other but never kissed. Luke was glad you went back inside so you couldn’t see the blush creeping onto his cheeks.
Luke wasn’t exactly sure how he made it back to his and Jack’s apartment but he did. It was like he was on autopilot. Locking the door behind him. Slipping his shoes off and hanging his coat up. “Luke?! Is that you?! You’re back early.” Jack called from his spot on the couch where Luke left him earlier in the evening.
“Y/N kissed me.” Was all Luke said before heading to his room leaving Jack shocked.
“What the fuck.” He mumbled, surprised at his brother's confession. Jack immediately rang Quinn to inform him of the revelation, ignoring the time difference.
“This better be good.” Quinn greeted, sighing at being interrupted and wondering why his brother is still up so late.
“Hello to you too.” Jack said, rolling his eyes. “Thought you’d want to know Y/N kissed Luke.”
“What?!” He shouted down the phone. “Are you sure? When? What?!” Quinn was lost for words. He knew his brother was madly in love with you and that you were madly in love back, anyone with eyes could see that except you two. Their mom also picked up on it.
“I don’t know. He didn’t elaborate.” Jack said. “It’s time though.”
“Jack, don’t.” Quinn warned, knowing exactly what he was on about. This wasn’t the first time he brought it up but Quinn was insistent that they shouldn’t meddle in their brother’s love life. Jack was bored of waiting for either of you to make the first move and decided to take matters into his own hands.
“Too late. The plan has been made. Operation get Luke a girlfriend is a go.” Jack said, ignoring his brother's concern and hanging up on him.
-x-
Jack had a plan. It wasn't a great plan and Nico told him that at any opportunity he could. All he could do was shake his head at his teammates' antics knowing that once Jack had an idea there was no way to stop him.
“We need to somehow find out if Y/N is dating this Scott guy.” Jack said, his voice low in case his brother walked in. They had just finished practice and were sat in their stalls in various states of undress. Jesper and Dawson leant forward, hanging on every word.
“We could just ask them? Aren't they coming to the game tonight?” Nico suggested while Jack gave him an incredulous look, like that was the craziest idea he's heard.
“Or we could invite them round to the team party and ask them about how their life is?” Dawson piped up.
“Yes! That's it!” Jack exclaimed, making Nico roll his eyes because that was basically his idea, just more straightforward.
“Won't Luke ask Y/N to come?” Nico asked.
“Nah he's freaking the fuck out that he's ruined their friendship or something.” Jack told them. He finally got it out of his brother what had happened last night. That you were talking to this guy, Scott, and then you kissed him when saying goodbye and then you haven't messaged him about the kiss. Luke was convinced it was the end of the friendship he knew and loved. “So we gotta give them a little push.”
Nico shook his head, getting up to go to the shower just as Luke was coming into the locker room. “This is a terrible idea.” He mumbled, wanting no part of it.
-x-
Your eyes lit up when you saw Luke leaving the locker room, your lips tugged into a smile just as bright. The Devils had just won so you're not sure why your best friend didn't look his usual happy self after a win. His eyes landed on you, surprised you're here and wearing his jersey. He made his way over to you, his strides large so it didn't take long for him to stand in front of you.
“You still came?” Luke said, struggling to hide the surprise in his tone. He could feel his finger twitch by his side, the urge to tuck the stray bit of hair behind your ear strong.
“Of course I came. Did you not want me to come?” You asked, worried that you overstepped. You looked down at your shoes, wanting to hide from his gaze.
“No, no. I'm glad you came. I want you to be here. It's just- I didn't hear from you all day so I didn't know if you were still coming.” Luke stuttered out, hating that the thought of him not wanting you here crossed your mind. “I want you here, Y/N.” He reiterated, silently pleading for you to look at him again.
“I'm sorry I didn't message you today. I had a little too much to drink after you left and then I didn't wake up until midday. I thought you'd be too busy at that point so I didn't want to bother you.” You admitted, looking back up at him. Luke wanted to tell you that he's never too busy for you. It was on the tip of his tongue but as always his brother has the best timing.
“Y/N!” Jack exclaimed the moment his eyes landed on you.
“Hey Jack.” You smiled at the older boy. “Great game tonight.”
“Thanks Y/N.” He grinned, not realising he was interrupting something or not caring. “You're coming to the team meal, right?”
“Team meal?” You asked, eyebrows furrowed. You looked at Luke hoping for some clarification.
“I was going to tell you.” He told you, rubbing the back of his neck. “The team is having a little get together next weekend and you're invited if you want to come.” Luke could kill his brother right now. He was going to ask you himself but now he’s worried you're going to think he didn’t want you there. The rational side of him knows he's just overthinking however ever since the kiss his thoughts have been in overdrive.
“I'd love to come. As long as I'm not intruding.” You said, biting your lip slightly, a nervous habit of yours. You always felt a little weird going to team events, official or unofficial ones, as Luke’s plus one because you weren't dating. That fact you were very much aware of.
“You're not intruding, Y/N. All the guys would love it if you came.” Jack assured you. “Besides, we need someone to keep this guy in check.” He teased earning an eye roll and a playful shove from Luke and a giggle from you.
“Well I'll be there.” You confirmed. “Do you need me to bring anything?”
“Oh, errm, I think Cap is sorting all that out so better ask him.” Luke told you, trying to get you to leave for a moment so he could curse his brother out.
“I'll go and do that.” You said, spotting Nico across the corridor. You gave Luke's hand a little squeeze and smiled at him. “I won't be a sec.”
Luke watched you go over to Nico and Dawson, waiting until you were out of an earshot before scowling at his brother. “Why on earth would you mention the dinner when you know I haven't asked them yet.”
“Didn't know you actually were going to ask them.” Jack shrugged. He was trying to hide the amusement this situation gave him.
“Well I was and now Y/N's going to think I don't want them there.” He hissed, keeping his voice low so you can't hear them.
“They're not going to think that.” Jack told his brother even though he knew it was no use. Once Luke had something in his head it was hard to change his mind. “Y/N is in love with you! It's so obvious but you refuse to see it.”
“We're just friends.” Luke insisted, trying to convince himself more than Jack.
“Friends don't do what Y/N does. Friends don't kiss.” He pointed out. Luke clenched his jaw, trying not to make a scene. That was the last thing he wanted right now. All he wanted was for Jack to shut up, to stop him giving him hope knowing it'd only bring him heartbreak. Luke couldn't handle your rejection.
“I'm not interrupting am I?” You asked, your smile fell when your gaze landed on Luke. You rarely saw Luke angry. You knew he got angry on the ice but this was different. The last time you saw him like this, eyebrows furrowed and jaw clenched, was at a bar and some creep was hitting on you, not taking no for an answer.
“Not at all.” Jack said, slightly shaking his head at his brother before walking away, leaving the tension hanging. Luke was about to follow but you grabbed his hand, stopping him in his tracks.
“Is everything okay?” You asked, willing for Luke to look at you instead of staring ahead.
“Everything's fine, Y/N.” He hoped you would let it go. The problem with being best friends though is you know when something is wrong.
“Luke, you don't have to keep things from me. I know something is wrong.” You said, searching his face for any reaction, the silence killing you. “D-did I do something wrong? Please tell me if I did something wrong.”
“I-I'm sorry.” He had to get out of there. It broke his heart being the cause of your hurt but he didn't want to make things worse. “Jack’s my ride and I-I have to go.” Luke stuttered out before walking away to join his brother.
“Luke, wait.” You pleaded softly but it was no use. He was gone. You didn't want to cause a scene so you willed the tears that threatened to fall to wait until you got home.
“You alright, Y/N?” Nico asked, making you jump slightly not realising there were people still in the corridor.
“I'm fine.” You said with a forced smile. Nico saw right through it but he didn't want to bring it up. What he was going to do is kill Jack. He knew it was a terrible idea to interfere with Luke’s love life and now he may have ruined their friendship. “I better go too. Got a lot of work to catch up on. Great game tonight though.” You rushed out before hurrying to your car, wanting to put as much space as possible between you and the arena.
The moment you got home you made a beeline to your room, ignoring your roommates calls. You threw Luke’s jersey off, the material feeling uncomfortable on your skin. You were spiralling, pacing the room as your mind went over every little detail from the past couple of days. One minute you were discussing summer plans and inviting him round to your party and the next you're kissing him. That's when the realisation hit.
“You're home early.” Your roommate said, leaning against the doorframe. “Thought you'd be hanging out with Luke tonight.”
“He probably doesn't wanna see me ever again.” You mumbled, face down on your bed.
“Don't be ridiculous of course he does. You're his best friend.” She sighed, sitting on the edge of your bed. “What happened?”
“I kissed him last night.” You admitted, biting your lips slightly feeling nervous under your roommate's gaze. “And now I've ruined everything.”
“What makes you say that?” She asked and you told her everything. From the way you felt brave enough to kiss him on the cheek goodbye to not hearing from him all day. Then you told her what had happened at the rink. She listened as you spilled every thought and feeling you had without judgement. She let you get everything off your chest before chiming in. “It sounds to me that Luke is being stupid. He’s so in love with you that it’s kinda sickening sometimes. I swear he’s permanently got heart eyes whenever he sees you. Just give him a little time, you know how in his head he can get.” You nodded, taking in her advice knowing she was right.
-x-
You weren’t going to come to the team dinner. Even though Luke has apologised for what happened after the game and you were talking again something felt off between you. It was like there was an elephant in the room that neither of you were talking about. Jack had texted you, persuading you to still come and so did Dawson and some of the other guys. That’s why you were standing in front of the door, finding the motivation to knock on the door.
Nico was the first to greet you, answering the door when you finally knocked. He took your coat, hanging it up on the coat rack by the door while you walked down the hallway to the living room where you were met with a chorus of hello’s.
“Damn, Y/N! Got a hot date after that we don’t know about.” Dawson called from the breakfast bar, a drink in each hand. You couldn’t help but look down at your outfit, feeling a little self conscious. You knew he didn’t mean it in a bad way but now you were worried what you were wearing was a bit much. Luke wanted to assure you it wasn’t too much, that you looked beautiful tonight. Well to him you always did.
“Nope. No hot date.” You told him, your eyes not leaving Luke as if it was him you were telling. They followed him as he excused himself to the kitchen, not missing the way blush dusted his cheeks. You decided to join him in the kitchen, wanting your best friend back and the only way that would happen is by talking to him. “Hey.” You greeted, making Luke jump slightly.
“Hey.” It was soft, like he didn’t want to ruin the silence. Your eyes raked over him, taking in every detail in case this was the last time you saw him. From his curly hair, which you enjoy running your fingers through, to his hands, which you miss holding.
“Please tell me if I read the situation wrong. That you didn’t want me to kiss you goodbye.” You said, your directness surprising Luke a little. “Because right now I feel like I’ve ruined everything.” You waited for an answer, the silence killing you. Your eyes flickered over Luke’s face looking for any reaction, willing for him to respond, but nothing.
You took that as your answer, leaving Luke alone in the kitchen and heading out of the front door, grabbing your coat on the way. You didn’t care if everyone saw what happened. At this rate you would never see the team again. You didn’t stick around long enough to hear their concerned questions or to see Luke realise what you were saying.
“Y/N, wait!” Luke called after you, running down the street in a t-shirt and jeans. Even after everything you were concerned he was going to catch a cold or something.
“Luke, what are you doing? Where’s your coat? You’re going to get ill.” You rushed out, fretting over him. He hadn’t even noticed he didn’t grab his coat. That was the last thing on his mind, the first being you.
“I don’t care. I had to catch up with you.” He told you, pulling you to the side so you weren’t in peoples' way. “I’m sorry.”
“Luke-” You sighed but he continued, wanting to get everything off his chest.
“Y/N, I’m sorry I’ve been a shit friend recently. I’ve just been so in my head about everything and that’s not an excuse but I’m sorry. If anyone’s ruined anything it’s me.” Luke rambled. “You kissed me but I thought you were going out with Scott so I tried to put distance between us which was very stupid of me because I realised I hate being apart from you. I liked that you kissed me though.”
“Y-you did?” You asked.
“Yes and I wish I could kiss you back this time.” Luke said, cupping your cheeks with his hands. They were cold but you didn’t mind. It felt natural, like they were where they belonged. “If you want me to, that is.” He added, not wanting to overstep. You didn’t trust your voice to reply to him, to tell him yes you wanted to kiss him. That you wanted him to do that for the longest time. You leaned up, brushing your lips against his, an invitation for him to kiss you. It was soft, Luke wanting to savour every bit of it. Your lips were sweet from your lip balm, a fact he would remember for a long time. “I love you, Y/N, and I’m so sorry I was too chicken to do anything about it too.”
“Well you weren’t the only one who was scared.” You assured him. “I love you too.” Luke couldn’t help but smile hearing those words come out of your mouth. You leaned up to kiss him again, his cold skin touching yours making you shiver. “Let’s head back and get you warmed up.” You said about to walk back to Nico’s apartment when Luke stopped you.
“Or we could just go back to mine.” He suggested, not wanting to go back to everyone just yet.
“Fine but you’re having a warm shower. I can’t have your mom or your coach kill me because you got sick.” You told him.
“But it’d be worth it though.” Luke grinned and he was right. It would be worth it because you are in love with your best friend.
#luke hughes imagine#luke hughes x reader#luke hughes#new jersey devils imagine#new jersey devils#nhl imagine#nhl
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Hi! Can you possibly write a Joe Burrow imagine please where he keeps referring to his gf as “wifey” or “my wife” to her and other people when he speaks about her even though they are not married yet. But he is waiting for the moment to pop the big question. Until one night he sees the perfect opportunity to propose right after a small argument about leaving the toothpaste cap off.
my wife | jb
life with joe burrow was nothing short of a dream. you were his safe haven, his number-one fan, and the love of his life. but there was one thing that always made you laugh: joe’s habit of calling you “wifey” or “my wife” to everyone—teammates, friends, family, even strangers.
“yeah, wifey cooked this amazing dinner last night,” he’d say, grinning like a lovestruck fool. or, “my wife’s the reason i’m not walking around in mismatched socks today.”
you’d always roll your eyes playfully, nudging him with a smile. “joe, i’m not your wife yet.”
“technicality,” he’d reply with a smirk. “you will be.”
you thought it was just joe being joe, but little did you know, he was serious. the ring had been sitting in a drawer in his office for months, waiting for the right moment. joe had planned and replanned his proposal a hundred times, but nothing felt quite perfect.
one night, after a long day for both of you, the two of you were brushing your teeth side by side in the bathroom. you noticed the toothpaste cap sitting off again, and with an exaggerated sigh, you grabbed it and screwed it back on.
“joe,” you said, shaking your head, “how hard is it to put the cap back on? i do it every time.”
he rinsed his toothbrush and gave you a sheepish look. “it’s not that i don’t care—it’s just that i forget.”
“you always forget,” you teased, crossing your arms.
he turned to face you, his lips twitching into a grin. “you’re really gonna make a big deal out of this, huh?”
“yes, because one day, you’re gonna leave it off, and it’s gonna dry out, and then—”
you didn’t get to finish your sentence because joe suddenly dropped to one knee, right there on the bathroom floor.
“joe, what are you doing?” you asked, your heart skipping a beat.
“fixing the toothpaste cap problem for good,” he said, pulling a small velvet box from his hoodie pocket. his voice softened as he opened it, revealing a stunning diamond ring. “i mean, if you’re officially my wife, maybe you’ll have more patience with me leaving the cap off.”
your eyes widened, tears already pooling. “joe…”
“i’m serious,” he said, his blue eyes locking onto yours. “you’ve been my wife in my heart for a long time. i’ve been calling you that because it’s how i feel. and now i just want to make it official. will you marry me?”
you stared at him, your hands flying to your mouth as you nodded vigorously. “yes! of course, yes!”
joe slipped the ring onto your finger, standing and wrapping you in a tight embrace. “finally,” he murmured against your hair. “i’ve been dying to ask you.”
“you couldn’t have waited for a more romantic moment?” you teased, laughing through your happy tears.
“why? this is us,” he said, pulling back to look at you. “you, me, and a toothpaste cap argument. it doesn’t get more perfect than that.”
you kissed him, feeling like the luckiest person in the world. and as the two of you stood in the tiny bathroom, your laughter echoing off the walls, you couldn’t agree more.
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TL;DR: Fatshaming did not motivate me to lose weight, it programmed me to always hate my body, no matter the size.
Just wanted to weigh in with my personal experience with this matter. I was fat shamed, primarily by my mother, from the time I hit puberty. I was borderline underweight at this time, but my mother would still get on me about losing weight so I didn't get "bloatus of the toadus" or whatever the fuck she used to call it. In highschool it got a lot worse, with her criticizing my stomach every time she saw it and openly making comments about my body around family, friends, etc. I stopped letting her visit the doctor with me because I didn't want to hear her giving me shit every time they weighed me. She even asked the photographer who took my senior photos to edit them to make me skinnier (he was very uncomfortable and luckily did not do that). I repeatedly tried to explain to her why this behavior is inappropriate, and I would always get the same responses: "I'm just worrying about you" "I just care about you" "I just want you to be healthy" etc.
When I was 19 I broke my spine. As a result I put on about 15-20lbs and let me tell ya, all hell broke loose. The guy I was seeing at the time was fatphobic and would fatshame me on a daily basis while also trying to control what I ate and what I did in my spare time. I repeatedly tried to explain to him why what he was doing was hurting me, and all he could say was "it hurts because it is true" Eventually I had enough and kicked him to the curb. I remember trying to confide in my family about his cruel behavior and each time my mom couldn't help but chime in "he's right, you know!".
Do you know what over a decade of fatshaming did for me? Well, first of all it gave me a pretty messy eating disorder. Some days I wouldn't eat anything. Some days I would eat everything. Some days I would purge until nothing was left. However, it wasn't until I developed thyroid cancer that I saw a genuine change in my weight. I put on 50lbs fairly quickly and it had a detrimental impact on my self esteem. My entire life I had been told my worth was dependent on how skinny I was, and now I was rapidly gaining weight. I started hearing the same things my mother and ex used to tell me, but from a lot of other people as well. I quit making my silly little tiktoks and sharing my silly little opinions on the Internet because I couldn't handle the waves of trolls coming at me for my weight. I quit wearing makeup because I felt that I didn't deserve it. I quit dressing up because I felt I didn't deserve it. I couldn't look at photos of myself without wanting to cry. I couldn't eat a meal without feeling guilt and shame. I didn't feel motivated by their cruelty, I felt defeated. I felt helpless. I felt like a disgusting waste of space that didn't deserve to live.
I have made some major improvements over the past year or so. I have been working with a therapist on the ED for a couple years now and this past year I have done really well. I still have days where I don't eat, but I can't remember the last time I purged or over ate. I got my thyroid out, and my weight is returning to where it was. People have been complimenting me, telling me how great I look, how noticeable it is, how hard I must be working, etc and instead of making me feel happy or proud it just makes me feel like shit. I still hate who I see in the mirror. I still hate my stomach and my chin and the fat around my arms. I bought some new makeup and I'm trying to put more effort into my appearance, but all I see in the mirror is a clown. Fatshaming did not motivate me to lose weight, it programmed me to always hate my body, no matter the size.
Anyways, I doubt anybody is going to read all this but it felt good to type it out. Don't fatshame. It never helps.
The number of times I've earnestly seen the take "but it's good for fat people to be mean to them! It motivates them to lose weight!"
Also whenever you provide even light pushback that maybe bullying people does not magically make them skinny but instead makes them depressed, they immediately demand scientific sources as if "bullying fat people is good for them" is scientific concensus and you therefore owe them a peer reviewed paper.
No babe I'm so sorry you're not actually doing people a service by being an asshole to them you just want an acceptable target and have decided that fat people are one. You don't get to be a bad person until you've produced 3 peer reviewed meta analyses that being a dick to random fat people improves their health, OK? I'm sure people will thank you for your invaluable service of being an asshole.
#i genuinely believe my worth is dependent on my fuckability#and i know that's wrong and fucked up and I'm trying to work on it but that's how i feel#me#fat acceptance#fat activism
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I get significantly less hate online than I did in the year after October 7th and I wish I could attribute it to the hate just fizzling out, but I know that’s not the case.
here’s the things that have made tumblr more livable for me to deal with antisemitism:
anon is off. if you want to say something to me you say it to my face. plenty of antisemites are more than happy to be terrible with their full chest, but a lot of them are chickenshit. this filters out a lot of hate.
the block button is my friend. if I see something hateful, I block. if it’s overt enough (saying “I hate the Jews” or “the Jews are like XYZ”) I report it. I also sometimes go into the notes to see who’s sharing these hateful posts and block a bunch of them preemptively.
don’t reward them for being hateful. they want the engagement, they want the reblogs & likes, they want the persecution complex of “(((the zionists))) are after me”, they want a lolcow to milk; don’t give it to them. if you get in a back-and-forth with them, their followers will jump on you too. if you give the post any notes, tumblr will recommend more like it. don’t reblog unrepentant bigots just to dunk on them or convince them they’re wrong.
don’t be quiet about it either. it does help to still push back, if you do so strategically, in ways that make it unrewarding to get into a back-and-forth with. screenshot it, dunk tank it on your own post rather than giving their post engagement. I do this in one of two ways:
if there’s anything productive to say about it, use it as a learning opportunity. don’t try to convince op they’re wrong. provide a better argument for other people that will inoculate them against op’s bad arguments; save the vitriol & justified anger, just show them how op is wrong & give a more grounded answer so people can avoid falling for it. don’t assume motive. stick to the facts. provide receipts. (if op is too all over the place to make screenshots readable & you paraphrase their argument, only do so for brevity; don’t rephrase “what they really meant”; try to keep their phrasing & work from there to unpack it) (sometimes it works to reblog a bad response to your own post, if you can respond to it in a way that reinforces the point of your original post)
if there is nothing productive to be gained from arguing and it’s just a stupid, truly rancid take, mock the shit out of it on your own post. don’t reach, don’t put words in their mouth, don’t make it about who they are. just show what they said and make fun of it. if it’s stupid enough it’ll stand on its own. don’t do this with takes that are complicated to unravel; that’s what the previous bulletpoint is for.
don’t take this as prescriptive; i’m not saying “this is The Right Way™️ to do it”. but it’s my own internal guidelines for a strategy that’s working for me. feel free to use it if it will help.
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Lol, friends if you weren't there for the Astarion discourse, I am so happy for you.
People were most often upset over the idea of being poly with Halsin, because they wanted and did project onto Astarion that he is unable to say no to Tav for fear of losing them (not only is he perfectly genuine about having an open relationship, but by Act 3 he is fully capable of saying no, even if he's just being a silly shit about something and doesn't actually mean it). The conversations about how “I would never cheat on him!” (ethical non-monogamy is not cheating) bleeding into “he doesn't actually like sex!” (not really relevant to the ENM, and certainly something we can discuss, but seems like you're upset at the idea HE might want another partner) were ridiculous and turned dramatic.
On a spawnstarion route, there's also a dialogue route in the graveyard scene I think where you can discuss the possibility of things changing (implying your relationship) and he expresses he's no longer scared by the possibility. He would probably be sad if it did, but he no longer feels dependent on anyone, so he's no longer scared of what life has to hold. Y'all when I tell you I saw people lose their minds over this - they didn't want to think about Astarion independent and not needing them, not needing their blood, not needing their magical genitalia, their “love” to make him feel whole. I saw so many posts about how they can never not romance him because how can they leave him lonely, despite the fact that his unromanced spawn conversations in the epilogue is one of the most healing and powerful sequences I've ever been through. He literally fixes himself. He makes himself happy, despite having severe limitations on his living experience. He becomes a *hero*. All on his own. And they can't stand it.
Astarion is the perfect vehicle for folks to lay the fantasy of a codependent relationship over, just as Lucanis is the perfect fantasy for them to “fix” an actually very nice guy who arrives with a “bad boy twin” with whom they can pretend to have a threesome.
I'm not against people working their fantasies or issues out through video games at all, I only get irritated when those things become externalized in the form of racism, misogyny, queerphobia, etc, which we see a lot in how people express their feelings about other characters, or how they frequently pattern their feelings onto the VA's.
If you feel the need to hide a pixel man away from a pixel woman, when both are programmed not to get together if you lock in the relationship with either one, at that point you actually need to get help. But more generally, feeling jealous because someone you are interested in has a life and friends and even crushes outside of “you” is something you should talk about with a qualified professional.
#datv#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard#nevecanis#bg3#Astarion#lucanis dellamorte#baldur's gate 3
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Fanboy - Choi Seung Hyun/ T.O.P x reader part 1
Summary: After rising as a k-pop star as the newest member of BigBang, your management team suggests taking on an acting role as well, where you meet one of your best friends old friend, Seung Hyun, who quickly charms you, all while neither of you knew you were both going to the same person to rant about each other.
Warnings: none, some really toothrotting fluffiness
Walking onto the squid game set you gasped in awe, yea you had played in sold out arenas, had thousands of people lining up to meet you, but this was your first time acting, but your PR team swore it'd help boost your image while waiting for your new single to drop. As you looked around in awe you failed to notice the eyes that immediately landed on you, or the two boys in the corner fanboying over the fact they worked with you.
Seung Hyun looked at his co-star in shock "Why are you so freaked out? Shouldn't it be the other way around?" His new friend asked, knowing the dynamic between you two, A few months after T.O.P had stepped down from bigbang, the agency was quick to bring in a replacement, again shaking the K-pop world whenever his replacement was a girl. "No, she's amazing, and she treats the boys amazing" Seung Hyun shrugged his friends comment off, it wasn't that he was a huge fan, but he did happen to follow you on social media and watched a few of your live performances on his phone, and seeing how you interacted with the boys he considered brothers warmed his heart.
Your eyes quickly met his as you rushed over excited "Oh my- You're- I'm-" You kept cutting yourself off with excitement, he couldn't hide his smile as you failed contain to your excitement, feeling happy to know you weren't one of the k-pop stars that chose to shun him for his past actions. "I'm Choi Seung Hyun" He smiled offering his palm to you, causing you to blush as you watched him press his lips to the back of your hand "I-It's an honor, Mr. Choi" You smiled, proud of yourself for remembering your manners even in your panicked fangirling state, Seung Hyun gasped holding a hand to his chest chuckling "Please! I'm not that old! Call me Seung Hyun" He laughed, returning your hand as he offered the way "They want us all ready to film soon, want to wait with us?" He offered, you smiled nodding softly, starting to talk about your characters.
Whenever filming started, you were upset to find out your character wouldn't interact with your new friend's until later on in the filming process. It went by rather quickly though, using your free time to read over your lines to try and get the best performance possible, I mean, acting for tv was just like acting for your shows right? You were good at acting, You and Ji-Yong had an entire fake relationship currently, per your managements request. As you read over you first scene though you frowned, why didn't you management tell you about the 'stunts' in the script? Walking onto the film set for red light green light you went to find your marker in the large group of people "Okay! Extras! You have timed blood packs! This scene we're gonna focus on Thanos's shove and the introduction to Y/n's character Yi-mon!" The director shouted into the speaker, you watched as the camera positioned close to Seung Hyun's face and yours and one at about knee length for you. "Action!" You heard, Standing up straighter you heard the doll recording play saying red light, Seung Hyun looked for his cue before shoving the line of stuntmen and women down "Tag" He smirked as the blood packs splattered, the blood landing on his cheek perfectly for the scene, You grunted as you landed on the ground with a thud, looking at Seung Hyun in fear, waiting for your characters pack to go off, the director motioning for you to stay down as Seung Hyun smirked "Tag, Senorita, you're it" He smirked, jumping over you as the doll called greenlight "Cut!" the director shouted "That was perfect! First try!" He cheered, Seung Hyun just turned around, quick to kneel at your side helping you to your feet, brushing the sand and dirt off of your knees and palms "Are you okay?" He asked softly, not wanting to hurt 'Korea's sweetheart', lord knows the backlash he'd face for that. "Aw, you're so sweet" You giggled, hugging him gently "I'm okay, nothing I haven't dealt with before, plus it's been awhile since I played some real tag" You joked, he just chuckled shaking his head helping you to the side set waiting for your next scene.
As it approached your last scene for the night, you marveled at the set, every bunk bed and tile had so much detail in the main room, it was amazing. As you moved to your marker Seung Hyun was quick on your tail, ready to finish up for the night and sleep, you on the other hand were ready to get out of here and call your best friend for not warning you how charming his best friend was. "Action!" Your director tiredly called "Thanos, get away from me" You snapped as Seung Hyun smirked walking closer to you "You owe me money- I'm sorry but do I need to call her a...B I T C H?" he asked, spelling out the word as he didn't even want to use it in the same sentence he used to speak about you. "Yes Seung Hyun! Start from the top!" Your director shouted, Your friend frowned at you before going back to his original marker.
"Thanos, get away from me" You snapped, Seung Hyun stepping closer to you as he glared at you "You owe me money, bitch" He spat, his hand going to your throat, squeezing gently "That money was mine and you know it" You argued, standing on your tippy toes to try and make it more believable "You're gonna get me my money, or I swear, I'll kill you before these walking pink fucking idiots get a chance to" He seethed, your breathing increasing as genuine fear flashed over your face "Cut!" You silently thanked your director for calling cut as you stepped back down on your feet looking at your friend "Are you okay? I wasn't too harsh on you was I?" He asked gently, you chuckled shaking your head "No, I'm okay Seung Hyun..I promise" You said sweetly, he was started to realize you weren't anything like how you acted on stage, on stage you seemed so confident and cocky, loud and outgoing, but in person you were so quiet and sweet, nothing like how you were from what he saw on videos and interviews. "Can I walk you back to your trailer?..." He asked, resting a hand on your shoulder causing you to blush "Of course, who knew you were such a gentleman" You giggled, you were under the same impression as Seung Hyun, other than what your friends told you, you only saw performances of Seung Hyun's, seeing him as a performer who was confident and cocky, like he knew everybody wanted to fuck him, and he loved it, but instead you were learning Seung Hyun was a huge softie, flirt, and gentlemen.
As you got into your trailer you wished Seung Hyun a good night before immediately facetiming Ji-Yong, not caring if you woke him up, you needed him, and as your fake boyfriend he had to answer. You watched as the screen changed, showing a dark room with your best friend's face being illuminated by his phone screen "Y/nnnn, I'm sleeeeping shhhh" He whispered into the phone before going to roll over before you stopped him by tsking him "No! You don't get to! You never told me about Seung Hyun!" You shouted, quickly covering your mouth realizing he could still be close to your trailer "Awww does baby y/n have a crush" Ji-Yong teased, you groaned dropping your head into your pillows "No! He just- So!" You continued ranting to your friend for another two hours before eventually falling asleep, not waking up again until you heard three soft knocks on your door "Come in!" You shouted still half asleep, already being used to the boys always coming into your room for some reason while you slept, it became easy for you to shout come in in your sleep, which is how Seung Hyun ended up standing in your trailer while you slept peacefully.
It took Seung Hyun fifteen minutes to successfully get you awake, it only taking him two whining fits and being called Ji-yong and a bitch four times to do it. You sat on the bed tiredly rubbing your eyes as you slowly became aware of everything, including your makeup and costume ladies standing in your trailer now instead of your co-star.
As you walked onto set you were exhausted, filming for a show was a lot more draining than performing you felt as you approached your chair. You ignored everything as you curled up into your chair tiredly laying your head on your knees watching the others film their scenes. As you started to doze you heard two familiar voices approach you "Jagi, what time did you go to bed?" Seung Hyun asked teasingly, you just glared at him as you yawned "My friend and I were talking most of the night" You explained before closing your eyes to rest them, totally not falling asleep. You woke up as your director shouted your name "Y/n! We need you for Six legs!" He shouted, you quickly scrambled over to your mark, trying to rub the tired from your eyes "S-Sorry!" You shouted, trying to avoid everybody's gaze as you stood on your mark watching your co-stars stand on theirs. "Action!" Your director called out loudly, Seung Hyun smiled at you crossing his eyes "Excuse me, senorita, would you like to join my team" He asked, raising his eyebrows towards you "Depends...Have you collected the infinity stones?" You asked seductively, tilting your head "Of course! I'll destroy anybody who stands in the way of my greatness!" He shouted moving his hands around to show his nail polish to the camera "As long as you idiots don't get me killed" You sighed before walking to your next mark "Dude do we really need a chick on our team?" Your friend asked Seung Hyun, Seung Hyun smacking his chest in reply "Shut up, don't ever question Thanos's decisions" He snapped before following behind you biting his lip "Cut!" You director called, you stood out of frame smiling as you hugged Seung Hyun tightly "That was awesome! I swear you're amazing as Thanos" You giggled as he just shook his head laughing, holding you tightly. "Hey..After filming..Do you want to maybe come by my trailer? I've got some wine that I've been wanting to try" Seung asked softly, instinctively holding your hips in one hand while placing his other hand on your lower back. You blushed brightly trying to suppress your giggles "S-Sure!" You smiled nervous, desperate to get the film day over now.
-
What do we think, lovelies? I think I'm gonna put out a Thanos fic next, just not sure what type yet
--
Taglist!!
@ag022123
@acehasmyheart
@heartz4rubyy
#thanos x reader#squid game thanos#squid game#squidgame#top x reader#thanos squid game#t.o.p x reader#choi su bong x reader#t.o.p#choi seunghyun
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WHY DID YOU FEEL THE NEED TO TELL ME ABOUT YOUR AROACE SENKU HEADCANON ON MY GAY SENKU AND TRANS REI POST
Just finished Dr Stone Reboot
#sorry for yelling at you but i do think you should make your own post#if you want an aroace character ryusui is right there and hes literally aroace flag coloured hes my favourite character hes so awesome#i dont see senku as aroace but i do see him as incredibly pragmatic and amazing at compartmentalising. romance is so far off his list of#priorities that he had never even thought about sex or dating. Hes the kind of guy who is fully able to abstain from earthly pleasures just#because he has more important shit to be doing (science) but meeting tsukasa made him feel some shit for the first time in his life#a guy whos strong and smart and hot and can keep up with him. someone whos a challenge to go up against someone so fun and electric#and this great and awesome guy says the most pathetic things in the world sometimes. its very clear that tsukasa made a deep impression on#senku. outside of romantic affection. senku was gentle to tsuaksa is a way that you dont see with other characters. at hakodate he tells#taiju and yuzuriha they might have to kill tsukasa but after that ? absolutely 0 talk of killing. hearing tsukasa say he has no friends#literally did something to senkus brain i genuinely believe he wanted very badly to be tsukasas friend like outside the context of shipping#just as something that happened in canon its clear that senku was thinking a LOT about tsukasa trying to unpack his motivations and charact#yes tsukasa is a killer but senku insists hes still a good guy. he doesnt write him off as a villain and he does not want to be his enemy#seconds before snapping his neck tsukasa is like maybe you would have been my friend and senku instead of being like hell no/ur delusional#he was like maybe :3 senku also tends to be sarcastically flirty but his pre stone wars dialogue with tsukasa was pushing it (also worth#noting that he was responding in kind to something that tsukasa initiated. whether or not its romantic theres definitely chemistry) when#tsukasa falls senku literally ran to catch him so they could fall together (which could mean nothing) hes tender to tsukasa in a way that h#isnt with the others he literally insists on making small talk with tsukasa on his deathbed because they never got a chance to know each#other and it clearly ate at him. Senku doesnt pursue people unnecessarily. He already had tsukasa in his pocket and he still made the effor#to keep him company so he wouldnt have to die in a silent cave. the guy who wouldnt even let his oldest friends thank him decided that he#wanted to make small talk (MASSIVELY ooc unless you consider... maybe tsukasa matters a lot more to senku than hes openly said...)#i think tsukasa was someone that senku found extremely difficult to ignore. Hes a guy who wants to save everyone and that what makes him so#awesome. romance will Never Ever be his first priority but his vow of celibacy kind of wobbled a little when it came to tsukasa#I see him as arospec homosexual myself because i think he has a very nonstandard view of romance as a whole but i also think that tsukasa#was the first guy ever that he could see himself with and even then if tsuaksa didnt want a relationship then senku would have been happy#watching from a distance after all he put so much effort into keeping tsukasa safe (read vol 12 boichis authors note)#like i fucking get projecting on a character i also fell deeply in love with tksn because me and my best friend dearly wanted to have known#each other earlier and that was such a beautiful and romantic sentiment that i saw reflected in tsukasen thats why i became obsessed#but senku 'strange behaviour' wrt tsuaksa has always stuck out to me ... he never acts like this with anyone else its gotta mean something#i dont think they were ever mortal enemies even at worst. tsukasa still had to bite his tongue not to call senku his friend when they were#in the throes of war. they meant something to each other. romantic or not they meant something very precious to each other
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FRIENDS WITHIN TOUCHING DISTANCE
Summary: Jungkook and you, his childhood friend, live together in an apartment, sharing space as roommates. Your relationship, built on years of friendship, is gradually becoming strained by growing sexual tension. You decide to become friends with benefits, trying not to complicate your feelings. But Jungkook's world is not so simple. When you begin to realize that he is hiding something, you open the veil of his double life - a world of mafia, criminal activity, and risk that could ruin not only your deal, but everything you valued in each other.
⊹ Couple: Jeon Jungkook/ Fem!Reader
⊹ Characters: The Reader, Jeon Jungkook, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, Min Yoongi, Kim Seokjin, Kim Namjoon, Jeon Hoseok.
⊹ 🔞 Age restrictions: 18+
⊹ 👩🏼❤️👨🏻 Relationships: ⚤
⊹ 📘Number of part: 20/?
⊹ 🖇️ Tags: best friends, friends with benefits, slow longing, sexual tension, protected sex, unprotected sex, alcohol, drunken sex, inexperienced main character, mafia au, illegal trade, deaths of minor characters, weapons, swear words.
⊹ 👩🏼💻From the author: Can you imagine that this is the 20th part? 🫣 I remember being shocked when I wrote 10 parts, and now it's 20. 🤭 By the way, this is about the middle of the story. What did you guys think of this part? Let me know in the comments. 🙏🏻 Do you think they'll make up quickly this time? 🤔
⊹ 🫂Dedication: For you, my love @myjungkookthighs. You are my favorite person 😘🥰 You know that I appreciate you so much and love you🥰💜 Bright times will come and you will be happy, my love 🥺💜
⊹ ⚠️ Warning: English is not my native language, so there may be mistakes in the text. Please don't get mad at me too much! Those under 18, please don't read this story!
⊹ 📋Tag list: @myjungkookthighs, @notsevenwithyou, @nikkinikj, @lovelyyylunaa222, @jiminiemanura, @jalexad, @kelsyx33, @bhonbhon, @unholyforjk, @byeolluvher (If anyone wants to be in my tag list let me know)
≣ Chapter Index ↓
Part 20. House of Cards.
The sensation of cold metal on your lips brings you back to consciousness. But you don't want to open your eyes. What's the point? What will you see when you open your eyes? Shouldn't you stay still until Jungkook comes for you?
Jungkook. That name sounds like a life preserver. Jungkook. Where is he? Why did he let this happen to you? Is he looking for you? Does he know you've been kidnapped? Will he make it before these people do something to you?
The sharp tip of the knife rests against your lips, pressing. But you don't open your eyes. The knife leaves an unpleasant mark on your jaw, on your cheeks.
"Jungkook…That fucking bastard." - You hear it very close and somewhere above your head. "I've been waiting for this moment for so long. Now I have the opportunity to take revenge on him by cutting his sweet whore almost to straw." - You feel your heart start to beat fast. It's as if there's a little bird inside your chest begging to be free and ready to smash against the cage just to be free.
Are you afraid of being hurt? Yes. You scared. Will it hurt? Probably yes. You gather your courage and open your eyes. The darkness of the warehouse, lit by only one lamp, created an oppressive atmosphere. Somewhere in the distance, you could hear the sound of water drops falling on a metal surface. Your heart was pounding so loudly that it seemed to drown out even this sound.
A man stood in front of you, tall and stout, with rough features and a sparse beard. His eyes burned with hatred, and in his hands he was clutching a knife that looked like it was used to freshly cut the carcasses of dead animals.
Meeting his hateful glare in his eyes, you felt your insides twist into a tight knot. It was painful.
"Oh, finally, our beauty has woken up." - You don't know how long you were unconscious. The last thing you remember is being brought to an abandoned warehouse and this man, who standing in front of your eyes, ordered no one to touch you. Only to watching for you. The conversation stopped and you felt a prick in your neck and lost consciousness.
You were sitting on a chair tied up. Your hands were tied behind your back, aching with pain. Your legs were also tied, and your body was aching. You were freezing. Although you were wearing a coat, it was unbuttoned. Your thigh was visible, and your neckline was also on display. You were uncomfortable with this bastard looking at you, inspecting your body.
The man stretched his cracked lips in a nasty smile, running the tip of the knife across your cheek again, but not cutting the skin. His voice sounded ominous, and you felt every word burning you from the inside.
"Are you waiting for your saviour?" - He asks with venom in his voice. He takes the knife away from your face and touches his watch with the hand he was holding it with. "He's taking his time. You've been here for more than 5 hours." - He looks at you and you realize that it's about 7 am. "Do you think I should have played with you right away?" - He puts the knife to your neck again, this time forcing you to turn your head away.
"What did he do to you?" - You say quietly, trying to stay calm, even though your hands and feet were shaking with fear. You decided to stall for time, to start a conversation and maybe better understand why you were here.
The man was in no hurry to answer you. He ran the knife down from your neck to your chest. He was standing over you, too close, and you were very scared and disgusted at the same time.
"What did he do? Oh, girl, you can't even imagine." - He said with a smile on his lips, ugly and crazy.
"I can, if you tell me." - You say more boldly. The man wiggles his eyebrows sensing your tone.
"I had a company. A legitimate business. Not a big one, but it worked. Logistics, warehouses, transportation. And then he comes along, this dumbass and his gang." - He finally starts to speak. He squeezes the handle of the knife and presses it into the gap between your breasts. "They came to me like predators. They said I 'owed them money'. This bastard told me that Namjun was waiting for his money, but I had paid all the debts I had. I didn't understand why they sent your guy to me." - The man took a step away from you and turned his back as if thinking aloud. "But you know what? It turned out they wanted to get the securities I had. Namjoon thought I should give them to them voluntarily. And when I didn't, they sent your nice boy and he grabbed me and tortured me for eight fucking hours." - The man says and turns to you.
"Did he really do that to you?" - You ask. When he turns to you, you see his face distorted by anger.
"He beat me, cut me, burned my skin, he broke almost every bone in my body. As I was lying on the ground, bleeding, this little psychopath whispered to me that if I didn't voluntarily give them the shares of my company and the papers that Namjoon wanted, they would force me to do it. Do you know how?" - The man turned to you and poked you again with the knife. It was painful, and you felt a drop of blood leak out of your cheek.
"How?" - You asked in a trembling voice.
"He showed me a picture of my little girl, who they watched , and said he would do things to her that would make me not only want to give up the company myself, but that I would sell my soul to the devil." - Your captor growls. You freeze in horror. No. Jungkook would never do that. He would never hurt a little child. This is definitely not Jungkook.
"He would never lay a finger on a little child. You're lying!" - You snapped. A hard blow landed on your lip. It was a fist or a slap, you don't know for sure, but your lip instantly went numb and you felt a metallic taste in your mouth.
"Who gave you the right to raise your voice to me, bitch?" - The kidnapper shouted at you, hitting you painfully. You looked up at him and glared. He grabbed you by the hair, pulling your head back, and came closer. "This piece of shit is going to pay for everything now. Did you think you knew him? You don't. He's a cold-blooded killer, and I'm just lucky to be alive. My wife left me and took our child when she found out I was threatened and that I had given away my company. I lost everything because of him."
"If you hate Jungkook so much, why don't you deal with him personally? Do you haven’t the guts? Do you? Do you think that by grabbing me, you'll pay him back in kind?" - You asked boldly. It was foolish of you. You're not in the best condition to throw out words like that. But that's you, your sharp tongue hasn't gone away.
"What a long tongue you have!" - The kidnapper laughed. "I can easily shorten it for you." - He squeezed your hair tighter.
"Only cowards do that." - You provoked. "You could meet him and talk to him like a man. You could have called your henchmen for help and resolved the old issue. And you kidnapped me, and you think he'll feel bad if you hurt me?" - The man looks at you with contempt. His lips are pressed into a thin line. "You know he'll come and you'll be dead. You could have been smart and taken him by surprise, but you chose to act in a primitive wa..." - You didn't finish speaking because you got hit in the face again. It hurt so much. It woke you up. You shouldn't talk like that, in front of a man who holds a knife and can cut you without hesitation.
"Shut your mouth!" - He snarled. "You have no idea what you're talking about or what you're getting yourself into. I'm going to make him feel what I've been feeling all along. The fear. The despair. The pain. And you're going to help me do that, little one."
"I won't do anything for you." - You wheezed, shaking with pain.
"Oh, you already have. You're his weakness. Now he will run around like a mad dog trying to find you. And when he does, I'll make sure you see him suffer." - Your captor growled.
You were silent, trying to gather strength to defend yourself somehow. Your head was spinning and your body was in pain, but you didn't let yourself break.
"When Jungkook comes, you will that one who feel pain, despair, and fear again. You know that." - You say sharply. The man laughs at how restless you are.
"Do you know what people are the most frightening? Those who have nothing to lose. And I am exactly like that. I have nothing. And your Jungkook took it all away from me." - He stops talking. He looks at you, wondering where to start. "I'm looking forward to him. Now let's decorate your beautiful skin with perfect cuts." - Says your captor. He touches your cheek with the knife and you hold your breath. Another moment and he will cut your face. Suddenly you hear the sound of a struggle. The kidnapper also hears something happening outside.
"Has Jungkook really come? I have to go meet him with honors." - You see the man shove the knife into the sheath and a moment later pull out a gun. You are frozen with horror. The man loads the weapon and walks to the exit of the warehouse.
Your brain is working at full capacity. You hear screams, sounds of blows. You try to figure out how to free yourself from the ropes. But your arms and legs are tied so tightly that you can barely move.
You are literally petrified when you hear a few shots and everything goes silent. It's quiet. And you hear the drops drumming on the metal in time with your heartbeat. The door opens and you see someone coming. Because of the light shining in your face, you hope it's Jungkook. From the way he looks, it's him.
"Jungkook..." - You cry, calling out to your boyfriend. When he ends up next to your lap, you don't immediately realize that it's not Jungkook. It's Doohoon. Tears wash away your mascara, closing your eyes. You blink your eyes open and finally see clearly. He still has the bruises under his eyes, the marks of Jungkook's beatings.
"Candy..." - He touches your cheek with cold fingers. You cry harder. You're actually glad that Doohoon is here. It doesn't matter who he is. What matters is that he came to save you. How did he find you so quickly? Was it because he was following you? "Bastards. What did they do?" - He wipes away the blood running from the wound on his lip.
"How did you find me?" - You ask in a shaky voice. Doohoon hurries to untie you. He unties your hands first. Your wrists burn with pain. You rubbed them with your hands to ease the pain. You waited for him to respond, but he was in no hurry to answer. Doohoon knelt down and began to untie your legs.
"I saw you run out of Jimin's club. I was right behind you. I texted you, when you were there. I knew something bad had happened. I went after you and wanted to pick you up...." - You were so focused on Doohoon words and his movements trying to free you from the ropes that you didn't hear someone appear next to you.
It's like you're in slow motion, seeing Doohoon flying backwards with great force. You see Jungkook grabbing him by the collar and punching him in the face, decorating his face with a new bruise.
"You fucking shit!" - Jungkook yelled. You had to react somehow. You saw Jungkook beating Doohoon, who was covering his face with his hands to shield himself from the blows. Jungkook pushed Doohoon against the wall and continued to beat him.
"Jungkook!" - You called to get his attention. You called out to your boyfriend again and again to get him to pay attention to you, but it seemed like his main goal was to destroy Doohoon.
"I'm going to fucking kill you, motherfucker!" - Jungkook yelled between punches. At some point, while you were trying to untie your legs, Doohoon fought back against Jungkook. He seized the moment and punched Jungkook in the face. Jungkook fell back on, not expecting to miss Doohoon’s fist.
You released your legs and stood up. Your legs were shaking and you were dizzy. You had to stop the fight that was happening. You froze in horror when you were almost to them and saw Jungkook pull out a gun and point it at Doohoon’s face. He loaded the gun in a matter of seconds.
Doohoon froze just like you, but he didn't look scared. In fact, he was trying to hold back a smile. With his peripheral vision, he sees you standing behind Jungkook with terror on your face.
"Jungkook, I came to save Y/N..." - Doohoon says, his voice desperate.
"I'll make a sieve out of your head." - Jungkook said coldly. "This is all your fault, you fucking bastard. I know."
"Are you crazy? I didn't kidnap her, it wasn't me." - Doohoon almost doesn't cry. He makes his voice sound so innocent that your heart clenches in your chest. Jungkook doesn't look like himself. He looks like the monster you saw in Niseko again.
You see Jungkook breathing heavily. He's so focused on Doohoon and the possibility of destroying him that he doesn't even pay attention to you. He didn't come over to you when you were tied up. Did he not care what happened to you? And if you were lying unconscious, all cut up, he really would have run to kill Doohoon first thing in, too?
You see Jungkook take a step toward Doohoon and put the muzzle of the gun directly to his forehead.
"You bore me." - He says. Jungkook takes the safety off the gun and you realize that in the state Jungkook is in now, he can do anything.
You run to them and shout at the top of your lungs.
"JUNGKOOK ENOUGH!" - Your voice echoes in the warehouse and your eyes finally meet the two black buttons. Jungkook sees your bruised lip and the cut on your cheek. There are traces of smeared blood on your chin. Your mascara is smeared black on your cheeks. Your eyes are red, like you've been crying a lot. It hurts Jungkook to see what these assholes have done to you. He's going to kill everyone who hurt you, and he's going to start with Doohoon, who's responsible for kidnapping you.
"Baby..." - Jungkook says quietly, still holding the gun pointed at Doohoon.
At that moment, Taehyung, Jimin, Hoseok, and a few other guys run into the warehouse. You stare at them indifferently for a second and then turn your gaze to Jungkook.
"Let him go. He saved me, and you want to kill him?" - You ask colorlessly.
"This is his handiwork. He set up this kidnapping..." - Jungkook explains. But that's not possible, because the kidnapper told you everything. And it wasn't Doohoon who took everything from the man who kidnapped you.
"What are you talking about?" - You ask, almost crying again. "The man who kidnapped me told me everything. You tortured him for eight hours to make him give the company to your boss and threatened to kill his little child. He went crazy, the man dreamed of take revenge with you, threatening to cut me into pieces. And you blame Doohoon for kidnapping me?" - All you hear was your voice filled with hysteria. You grabbed your hair, realizing the danger you were in because of your relationship with Jungkook. You were sick from the sleeping pills, from your nerves, and from the terrible Jungkook, who turned out to be a real wolf pretending to be a sheep. Everything you knew about your "best friend" and "boyfriend" was a lie and an illusion that he skillfully showed to you and his family.
"Let's all calm down." - You heard Hosok's voice. You looked at him and felt a wave of anger wash over you. The only one who was happy about the whole situation was Doohoon. Without showing his satisfaction, he was quietly rejoicing that his plan had worked out in the best possible way.
"It's your fault, Jeon, that I'm the here. Don't put the blame on someone else. You couldn't protect me, even though you promised me you would more than once." - You said. Your voice became hard because it was filled with anger and frustration. "I was really a fool to think that we could be a couple. I didn't see or realize who you really were. My feelings for you closed my eyes to your true personality, which I see right now. It's not Doohoon's fault that you've become what you are. You make your own decisions and do the things that you will be responsible for." - You stop talking, and everyone around you is stunned, like statues, frozen in place. Jungkook puts down the gun and wants to approach you.
"Baby... you have it all wrong...." - Jungkook says as he approaches you. You take a few steps back. Again, you are afraid of him, and now you are really afraid. Because you don't know the man in front of you. He only has the appearance of a man you've known since childhood.
"Don't even think about coming near me, Jeon." - You say, holding out your hand. "I don't want to know you anymore. I don't want anything to do with you." - Jungkook freezes. He feels like he's been hit in the chest with a hammer. Your words wound his soul. He looks at you and wants to hug you, wants to lean against you and hide you in his arms. Jungkook is a fool. He let everything happen: falling in love with you, telling you who he really is, having someone kidnap you, allowed Doohoon to do everything to make you think he was the really scumbag. It looks like Jungkook is really to blame and shouldn't be blaming anyone else. It's completely his fault.
"You need to go to the hospital." - Jungkook said. "Jimin will take you..." - He offered you.
"No." - You cut him off. "I'm not going with any of these thugs." - You say. Doohoon almost laughs out loud. You're a fire. He always knew you were sharp with your tongue. Unlike Doohoon, Jimin can't hold back his laughter. Everyone looks at him, especially Jungkook, who raises his eyebrows.
"Give me my phone back. I'll get out of here." - You tell Jungkook, knowing that he has your phone. Jungkook silently reaches into his pants pocket and pulls out your phone. He takes a step toward you and you take the phone away.
"Please, baby, if you don't want to go with me or Jimin, then go with Taehyung or Hoseok. You need to see a doctor." - Jungkook pleads with you.
"I don't need you to take care of me." - You say as you walk over to Doohoon. You take his hand and throw it over your shoulder. "I'm going to leave here with Doohoon. And God forbid you follow us. I'll call the police on you." - You say. You want to take a step with Doohoon, and then you laugh hysterically. "Oh right, who am I talking to. The mafia that controls the police. If the police don't protect me, I think…your mother will. Seems she's more powerful than the Seoul police." - You stare fiercely into Jungkook's angry gaze at you. "I'll tell her everything if you try to get close to me." - You threaten. A second's silence almost physically presses on everyone present. "Do you understand me, Jeon?" - You ask.
You don't wait for an answer. You and Doohoon walk away and you don't see that Jungkook is simply devastated. He is destroyed by your words and actions. From the very beginning, your relationship was like a house of cards. You and Jungkook were seduced by the possibility of feeling love, building a fragile house of cards which of fate that gave you false hope. And the real world destroyed that house in one day.
Three weeks later
Three weeks have passed, but the wounds from the experience still hurt. Not only bruises on your skin, but also deep scars in your soul. You feel empty, as if something important was torn from your heart. All these days you tried to cope, you got a job, set up a new apartment, taking things from Jungkook's apartment when he wasn’t be at home (on the third day of the new year). You tried to find a footing in your new life. But every night, thoughts of Jungkook returned like shadows.
Your mind is filled with questions: how could you have been so blind? How could you not notice Jungkook's dark side, which used to be just a vague feeling, but now became clear and obvious?
The image of him beating Doohoon and holding a gun to his head haunts you. That moment turned your perception of him upside down. He is not just the man you loved. He's a gangster. A dangerous one. Unpredictable. And although your heart screams that he is like that because of his circumstances, your mind says otherwise: you don't belong with him.
At the same time, you feel guilty. You've seen his other side, the gentle, caring one, the one who would give up everything for you. But even these memories are shattered by reality. You are afraid of him, afraid of who he has become, or who he has always been. And this fear destroys all hope. Everything fell apart in one moment, like a house of cards.
You wake up when the sun has already set. Today is your night shift at the convenience store you got a job at in your new neighborhood. There were many advantages to working there. The salary is enough for rent, the store is close to your new apartment. The scholarship will be enough to live on.
The fourth year is about to start. You will be writing your thesis. Your head is swollen with how you are going to combine study and work. You have to try again. But to be honest, you don't have much of a choice. You can't go back to Suwon to live with your parents because they still think you live alone in the apartment and are doing fine, even though you look back at your shadow even during the day. Now every man is a potential kidnapper for you. And you are afraid that Jungkook is watching you. Maybe he is, but you haven't seen or heard anything suspicious in the three weeks you've lived without him. And there hasn't been a single news from Jungkook himself. Not a text, not a call. Nothing.
You put on a black oversized hoodie and wide black pants to make yourself look big and more like a boy than a girl. You came up with the idea to do this when you were dressed to work in a store. This peculiar disguise may not have worked properly, but it made you feel at ease.
Luckily for you, in the two weeks you've been working in the store, working at night has been quite pleasant, the only trigger is being sleepy even if you've slept during the day, and maybe some grumpy man who wants to get free lunchboxes that will only expire at the end of the day.
Doohoon also bored you off a lot. He helped you find an apartment and had a habit of coming to see you whenever he felt like it. Of course, you rarely let him in, and you could almost always come up with some excuse, but there were a few times when you just couldn't do it. You are annoyed by his pre-housekeeping, he thinks he can throw money at you and you will idolize him. He reassures you that he is just "your good friend" who helps you in your time of need, and you tell him that you have had enough "friends" in your life and that he should leave you alone. But he just laughs and doesn't take your words seriously.
You put a deep hood over your head so that you can't see your face and pull on your jacket. In 15 minutes you will reach the store and take over the shift from your partner Sunchol. He's boring to tears and has a joke flatter than the ground.
Your phone vibrates in your pocket and you take it out to see who could have texted you so late. Of course, you already guessed, even before you see for Dohun's name on the phone.
"Candy, I can take you to the university tomorrow. I remember when you talked to Suyong on the phone and you agreed that you would go together to choose a topic for your diploma. I have some business tomorrow in the area of your campus, so we're on the way 😉"
You read the message and close the cocoa-talk without answering Doohoon. You roll your eyes upwards. Your eyes seem to see inside your skull. It's so annoying, he's so intrusive. You'd rather travel across Seoul by subway and bus ten times by yourself than be in Doohoon's company for an extra 40 minutes. Even if the trip takes 1.5 hours, you're calm and nothing stresses you out.
You come to work, change your clothes. You take over from your partner's shift. You tolerate his several stupid, flat jokes, almost politely, and get to work. Actually, today you had to arrange the new ramen that arrived, remove the expired food boxes from the display window, and that's it.
You didn't start working right away, around twelve o'clock in the morning, you had people coming in, and you served people almost one by one. When the flow of people ended, you were able to start arranging the goods. You did the ramen quickly. The food boxes were next in line.
You had almost finished collecting the expired food when you heard the sound of the "wind song", which meant that someone had come. You went to the counter where the cash register was and saw Mr. Yon. He was a man of about 45 and he worked in the police. You were friends with him and had interesting conversations about his work. He came in early today. You looked at the clock and saw 12.21. He usually came for groceries at 1 am or even 2 am. His work took up all his free time, so he didn't have a family.
"Are you going to have dinner early, Mr. Yon?" - You asked with a smile on your lips, holding a whole stack of food boxes. The man heard you and walked over, smiling back.
"Good night, beautiful. You're working so hard, isn't it hard for you? Let me help you." - Mr. Yon offered to help you. You shook your head in refusal.
"Thanks, but no. I've already done it. You choose what you want to eat, and I'll go to the service room and leave the boxes. That's all I have to do and my night is free." - You say. Mr. Yon smiles at you awkwardly, scratches the back of his head, and walks to the shelves with the kimpabs. You put the expired food in the warehouse and hurry back behind the counter.
Mr. Yon is taking pibimbap, onigiri with tuna in an egg, and fish cake with soup.
"How was your day today? Did you finally find out who stole that van?" - You asked about the case Mr. Yon was working on. You had a warm relationship with him, so he sometimes shared details of his work with you. Mr. Yon smiled that you were interested in his case and replied in a friendly manner.
"Yes, I know who is him. Now I just need to find him and then everything will become clearer." - The detective replies. The two of you listen to the sound of the cash register, and the man lets out a scream. You smile in confusion.
"I forgot to get a makgeolli, I want to relax a little." - He says and goes to the shelves with the algogol. While you're packing and waiting for Mr. Yon, someone else enters the store. The sound of the "wind song" doesn't let you miss anyone.
You see out of the corner of your eye that it is a young man dressed in all black. He has a cap on his head, also black, and a wide hood over it. He does not raise his head to you, so you do not greet him. He keeps his hands in his karmas and walks to the shelves of ramen’s. You look ordinary, but you feel some slight tension. In any case, you have nothing to fear. There is a detective nearby. Should you ask him to stay until this guy leaves?
Mr. Yon returns with a bottle of makgeolli and two cans of Heineken. You punch the alcohol and name the amount. Mr. Yon pays, and you watch the guy picking out the ramen. His cap hides his face well. You take the money and count the change. You want to ask the detective to stay with you and talk for a while (until this suspicious guy leaves), but while you're counting the money, his phone rings.
"Yes." - Mr. Yon answers the phone. He is silent for a long moment, you give him the change and he takes it. "I'm at the convenience store near my house right now, but I can be there in 20 minutes. Wait for me and interview the witnesses when I get there." - Mr. Yon takes the whole bag of food in his hands and smiles at you disappointedly. "I guess I won't be able to relax as much as wanted, and it’s seems I didn’t be able to eat dinner too." - You smile nervously. The detective won't be able to stay. Okay, then you'll have to taken the “panic” button.
"It's just the way the job is. What will you do?" - You say politely.
"That's right. Have a cood night, beautiful, I'll see you tomorrow?" - He asks, getting ready to leave.
"Yes, I'm working the night shift again tomorrow." - You say kindly. Mr. Yon throws you a satisfied smile.
"See you then." - He says and leaves. You stay behind the counter and feel your tension rising. The guy in black is standing by the shelves with ramen as the detective leaves. You sit down on a chair, put the panic button in your pocket, which was meant to be used to call a private security service. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw the guy go to the shelves with kimpabs and onigiri. He took some food and headed in your direction.
You don't know why, but your heart started pounding and your breathing became rapid. You tried to calm him down.
"Good night." - You greeted him, not looking up when the young man came to the counter. You waited for him to put the food on the table so you could run it through the cash register.
Your heart sank to your heels as he placed the ramen on the table and you saw the tattoo on his arm. A purple heart near his thumb, a crown on his index finger, an inscription with his initials, and an emoticon with a curved eyebrow that conveys irony or sarcasm. These tattoos can belong to only one person.
"Good night." - You hear a velvety voice, with a slight hoarseness. The voice you missed so much. A voice that instantly set your whole being on fire.
Jungkook was standing in front of you, smiling slightly, and you wanted to fall through the ground just to avoid seeing him. Just not to hear that your favorite voice. You seem to have forgotten how to breathe. You come to when he steals a box of cooked rice and a few corndogs next to ramen. You don't know what to do. But you're in a fog, so you look down and punch the goods.
Jungkook does not continue the dialog with you. He doesn't ask you anything, just waits in silence for you to tell him how much the food is.
"5900 won." - You don't say it as confidently as you want to sound.
"I will card payment, please." - He says. And you feel like you're in an invisible press. You're nervous and it shows in your hands, which tremble as you get ready the payment to the card.
Jungkook sees your hands shaking, but he doesn't say anything. He is trembling just like you, only inside. He has been wanting to come to you for so long. He forbade himself all three Sundays, which he barely lived without you. But his desire was unbearable. He had to see you, he had to hear your sweet voice, without which he cannot imagine his life. That why he here.
Jungkook doesn't know how to fix everything. He realizes that he has ruined everything. He turned their relationship into a house of cards, and now it's fallen down. But he has to start from the beginning. He wants you by his side, and if it takes years, he won't hesitate to spend them. This time he will try to control everything and make sure that no one lays a finger on you. He knows he can do it no matter what it takes.
That's why he doesn't say anything to you, he just stands there quietly and admires your beautiful face. Damn, have you become even more beautiful? Have you become even more attractive? Have you always been this fascinating?
Jungkook puts the card on the counter and the payment sounds. Jungkook takes the food.
"Does the microwave work here?" - Jungkook asks, taking a step away from the counter. You stare at him, not sure whether to lie to make him leave or tell him the truth that he's staying. Jungkook is waiting too. He knows. That if you tell the truth, it will be a sign to him that you want him to stay.
"It's working." - You say without looking at him. Your desire to have him around is stronger than any common sense you've ever had. You want to be with him. Let him eat in one place near you.
Let him stay in your life forever.
↰ Previous chapter ⋮ ≣ Index ↓ ⋮ Next chapter ↱
Note from author: By the way, for this part, I was inspired by the BTS song "House of Cards". It always reminded me of the motives of the mafia. And I also thought it perfectly described Y/N and Jungkook's relationship in my story at this particular stage. So if you want to, listen to this song while reading chapter 20.
#jungkook x reader#bts#bts jungkook#jungkook#jungkook x f!reader#jungkook smut#jungkook friends with benefits#bts mafia au#bts fanfction#Spotify
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BG3 Headcanons No One Asked For (ilikecrocssuckit edition)
Inspired by the wonderful series by @grenanigans
This episode: Each companion at the movie theater!
Astarion
Gets Hot Tamales candy or other cinnamon one just because it allows him to feel some semblance of warmth.
Pretends to like horror movies. Actually finds them deeply troubling and triggering but he'll be twice-damned if he shows that.
Chronic hater of every movie ever.
Gale
Rather disgusted by theater concessions. Still buys the biggest popcorn because he knows it's how they make money.
Seeks out the artiest and most pretentious films possible. Donates to the Baldur's Gate film festival and submits to it every year specifically to support such films.
Meticulously crafts his Letterboxd reviews after every screening.
Karlach
Wants to get a shushy but they always melt too fast so she never bothers anymore. Settles for popcorn, nachos, and 3 hot dogs.
Genuinely loves horror movies and finds Ghostface, Art the Clown, and Michael Myers attractive. Mostly though, she just loves being at the movies.
Cheers and laughs and generally reacts enthusiastically when the movie calls for it. She always cleans up after herself if she spills though.
Lae'zel
Rarely eats at the theater until she learns that they make money off of concessions, then follows Gale's lead because she finds the fact that they don't make money doing the thing they're designed for reprehensible.
Mostly just fascinated by the fact that movies exist and people put effort into creating them. Deeply interested in the filmmaking process and specifically looks for Blu-Rays with extensive behind the scenes features when she likes the movie. Treasures her Lord of the Rings Extended Editions for this reason.
Obsessively watches those "Expert Breaks Down Scenes From Movies and TV" videos because she wants to know where her favorite things succeed and fail so she can write letters to those responsible in the crew.
Shadowheart
Loves the Good & Plentys or other licorice candies. Doesn't like popcorn. Gets an obnoxiously large drink though and almost always beelines for the bathroom after the movie's over or sometimes during. Relies on Lae'zel to fill her in afterwards because Lae'zel won't speak during the movie itself. This has caused her to be confused about major plot points on multiple occasions.
Loves the horror movies that even make Karlach squirm. The really extreme horror ones that get like a one or two night release or get shown at the grindhouse that Orin frequents. Also has a soft spot for family dramas and romantic comedies but she'll never suggest them as something to go see.
Genuinely fails to see the point of theaters in the age of streaming [Editor's note: Yes, I do hate this about her.] Still goes because it makes Lae'zel happy.
Wyll
Buys a big slushie and puts it in Karlach’s cup holder. Gets a modest popcorn for himself.
Doesn't particularly have a lot of preference for what they watch. Usually just lets it all soak in. Has a penchant for swashbuckler epics though, and secretly keeps his eye out for rereleases of some of the classics. Sad there are hardly any made anymore.
Has the theater membership so everyone else can get cheaper tickets. Is happy to help his friends be more social and get out of the house.
Bonus
Halsin
Has a kink about sex in the back of the theater. Rarely gets to indulge. Sometimes goes to whatever the biggest R-rated bomb of the weekend is with his date so he can do so.
Jaheira
Exclusively sees children's and family movies with her wards and Minsc. Too busy otherwise. Maintains an encyclopedic knowledge of them regardless.
Made the mistake of thinking animation=kid-friendly only once.
Minsc
Only goes when Boo is excited for a movie or when asked by one of Jaheira's wards.
Boo loves to watch space sci-fi to laugh at the inaccurate aliens. Still appreciates practical effects of them though. Minsc just enjoys explosions and cool spaceships.
Wishes someone would make a movie about him. He would absolutely be banned from the set for being too nitpicky.
#the bg3 headcanons no one asked for#bg3 headcanons#my headcanons#bg3 companions#movie theater behavior#astarion#astarion ancunin#gale dekarios#lae'zel#lae'zel of k'liir#karlach#karlach cliffgate#shadowheart#jenevelle hallowleaf#wyll ravengard#wyll#halsin#halsin bg3#jaheira#jaheira bg3#minsc#bg3 minsc
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Would you Fall in Love with Me Again (Alternate) || Worst!Logan x Reader
I will fall in love with you over and over again I don't care how, where, or when No matter how long it's been, you're mine
warnings: angst to fluff, description of violence, Wade being wade, he calls you princess
wc: 2.5k
a/n: This is the alternate plot to the other fic I wrote of the same name. You can find that here! I just really liked both plots and I think this turned out pretty good :) This is also 1k words more than the other one idk what happened there lol
Logan was having a really shitty day. All he wanted was to get drunk but some asshole in red spandex decided to come and ruin his day. Now he's sitting in someone's fucking hideout with no hope of getting out of this hell hole. At least there's booze here.
"You always take shit that doesn't belong to you?" He growls as he takes another chug.
"Fuck off." He turns to berate the unknown voice but stops dead in his tracks.
He sobers up real fucking quick as he takes in the figure before him. Without thinking your name slips from his lips. It feels so foreign coming from him. He hasn't said your name in years.
"Logan?" You take a step forward, could this really be him? No...I can't.
Your Logan would never be caught dead in that uniform. He refused to wear it, no matter how much you begged him to wear it. But this man, he just felt so familiar.
“Thor!” Your attention snaps to the other man in red.
As the commotion begins you slip back into the shadows. You don’t bother to listen to whatever nonsense is coming from the guy in red. Laura brought them here.
You knew she had a Logan, just like you. Except her Logan died. You didn’t know he could. It made you think about your Logan. They sounded pretty similar. Mean, angry, drunk. But had that softer side almost no one else saw but a select few. Your eyes land on the Wolverine standing by Red.
He hasn’t taken his eyes off of you. Maybe this was him. You want it to be him, but that little glimmer of hope refuses to shine. What if its not. You can’t lose him again. You think back to that night. That awful night.
He was going off to the bars again and you all asked him to stay. You begged him for one night to stay home with the team, with you. But he walked away. It was the dead of night when you heard them. You had been waiting for Logan to come home when you heard the footsteps and the shouting.
In a blink of an eye everything was gone. Friends dead. Mansion destroyed. You had fought back as best you could but they killed everyone. Everyone except you. You don’t know how or why you survived but apart of you wished you hadn’t. Then your thoughts drifted to Logan. What would happen when he came home? What if they had gotten to him too?
Before you could even think of finding him. Some assholes in these weird suits showed up. Zapping you with some thing and sending you here. Its been a long time since then. The void was your home now and these people were your family. Every day you wished you could go back to your world, find your Logan. But it seems he might have been brought back to you.
“I know this movie is R rated but if you two could keep the eye fucking to a minimum that would be great.” Red pipes up.
“Shut the fuck up.” Both you and Logan say. Glaring at the loudmouth man.
“Aww how cute, twining!.” He coos at Logan who raises his fist, ready to stick three claws right into his face. Red lets out a shriek and runs to hide behind you.
“What the fuck?” You ask as he peeks over your shoulder.
“Sorry honey bunches but I’m not ready to go another round with peanut over there so you’re my human shield.” You raise your eyebrow at Logan who puts away his claws.
“Fucking coward.” He stares at you before shaking his head and leaving.
“How rude, you think he’s be happy to see you and we’d get one of those notebook pride and prejudice style romance scenes.” He says before leaving you alone.
Seemingly unaware of the bomb he had dropped on you. A plan forms but you don’t pay any mind. So this is him. That is your Logan. He’s so different. Sure he was never the nicest man but he just seemed, broken now. Like all hope and love had been drained from his mind. Leaving only rage in its wake.
As night falls you see him outside, drinking by the fire. Laura sits with him. You wonder what it’s like for her to see him. If it was as jarring for her as it feels for you. Slowly you walk outside, not wanting to interrupt their conversation. Catching only a few words here and there. When Laura leaves he calls out.
“Whoever you think I am, you got the wrong guy.” She turns, catching your gaze for a moment before looking back at him.
"You were always the wrong guy." As she walks away you slowly walk towards him.
This isn't the reunion you expected. When you imagined seeing him again it was a lot nicer. You would find your way out of here and go home, find him and tell him how much you missed him.
"You just gonna stand there?" Logan's voice feels so much colder.
Though you see the instant regret in his eyes as he looks at you. He darts around before staring back down at the fire. You make your way over and sit on the log next to him. His sleeves are ripped and his suit bloodied. This was the suit you never thought you'd see on him.
"Logan, is it really you." You reach out to touch his cheek but he ducks his head away from you.
"Please, I've been dreaming of this day ever since I landed in his hell hole. Tell me that this is real." He can barely meet your eyes as he swirls the brown liquid in the bottle around.
He nods his head. A small part of him says to lie. Look you in the eyes and tell you he's not from the same universe. That he isn't the Logan who abandoned you, walked away from you. But fuck has he missed you.
"You look different, tired. Can it really be you?" You say softly as you turn your body towards him, moving closer. The grip on his bottle tightens as he builds up the courage to look at you. You're just as beautiful as he remembered.
"I...I'm not the man you remember." He says lowly. His face feels heavy in your hands. Like he's letting you bare the weight he's been holding.
"You're still my husband." You hum as you bring your other hand to scratch behind his ear.
"No, I've changed. I'm not the husband you remember." He closes his eyes, relishing in your touch. You used to do this to calm him down.
"Princess..." He takes your hands away from his face.
"I've done things. Horrible things. I...I'm no hero. I wanted to be one, for you but..." He stops.
"I was weak. But I've missed you. Every fucking day I think about you." The angry quips and drunken growls were gone. This was the Logan only you got to see. The tired, broken, vulnerable Logan.
"Would you still love me? Would you fall for me again? If you knew." He whispers. He's terrified of the answer. He became a monster. He didn't have the team or Charles or you to ground him anymore.
"What did you do my love?" You ask. His eyes darken, head hanging in shame.
"I came home and you were all dead. Every single one of you. I-" He stops, the memories pouring into his head.
"I looked for your body, through the smell of blood and death I could still smell your perfume. But I couldn't find you." He remembers staining his clothes with blood. Hands soaked as he searched the mansion for you.
"When I couldn't find you, I thought they had taken you. To experiment or something. So I tracked them down. I found them and I killed them." His eyes lit with a fiery rage. Tears were pooling in your eyes as you listened to what your husband had to go through.
"I killed every last one of them. Hunted them down until I was sure they were all dead for what they did. But I couldn't find you. You were gone and I didn't even have a body to bury." He spits.
He takes his hands away from you, closing himself off again as he chugs the rest of the bottle. Old habits die hard.
"After they were all dead, I couldn't rest. I was so angry. So I kept killing. Didn't matter who. I left a trail of blood and turned the whole world against mutants." He laughs bitterly as he tosses the bottle over his shoulder.
It shatters and a piece digs itself into his shoulder. He barely even notices. Like the pain is something he's used to at this point. Gently you take the piece and tug it out.
"So much for being a hero huh?" He looks at you, expecting the worst as he builds back the walls he had just taken down.
"Logan..." To his shock you weren't angry or disgusted. You were crying. Tears are falling down your face, a look of utter heartbreak as you see the ghost of the man you once knew.
"I'm so sorry." You cry as you wrap your arms around him. He's stiffens at your touch. Your sobs break his damn heart.
"Please don't cry princess," He begs.
"I lived. That night I survived and I tried to find you but they sent me here." Logan tenses. Those bastards sent you here. Alone and afraid. A part of him wants to tear those fuckers limb from limb, but the other part knows that if you hadn't been sent here. You'd be dead. He takes your face and wipes away the tears.
"I'm not worth crying over. Shedding tears for a monster..."
"My husband is not a monster!" You say angrily.
"I told you before I'm not your fucking husband anymore!" Logan snaps back.
You wipe your eyes and stuff your hand into your pocket. Logan's breath hitches as he sees your wedding ring. It wasn't much, he couldn't afford the diamond he thought you deserved. Instead he made it, carved the band from a piece of wood and found the prettiest gem he could.
"Are you not the man who gave this to me?!" You shout.
"Till death do us part Logan. I'm not dead, I'm right here. I've been waiting to see you again for years." You take the ring and shove it against his chest.
His hand curls around yours. You were sick of this, you love this man more than life itself. When will he get that? You never wanted the hero, you want Logan.
"If you're not my husband anymore than take it back." His hand grabs your wrist, refusing to let you go. He reaches into his suit, around his neck is a chain and sitting between his dog tags was his ring.
The one that matched yours. He says your name again. This time much quieter, much sadder. There's no doubt in his mind that he isn't good enough for you. He's never been enough for you. The day you said your vows chased away those fears but they always lingered.
Then he lost you and he had just been repeating it in his head over and over again since then. But now you're here, alive and somehow you're looking past it all. Somehow, you still love him.
"Don't you get it Logan. I love you. I love you so much it hurts." You sink to the ground and Logan follows.
Sweeping you up in his arms, protecting you from the dirt and leaves. You're in his lap, hands caressing his face as he holds onto you, arms wrapped around your waist.
"I'd pick you over and over, I don't care how long its been or who you think you are now. You will always be my husband and I will always love you." You lean your forehead against his. Closing your eyes you just take it in. This is real. You’ve found each other again and you won’t let go ever again.
“I’ve fucking missed you.” He growls as he smashes his lips onto you. His hands travel anywhere he can touch.
It’s been so long since he’s felt so desperate. His hand cups the back of your head as he leans you back onto the ground. Crawling over you as he uses his elbows to prop himself up. Your hands are tangled in his hair as he deepens the kiss. Breathless you pull away, ready to kiss him again. Footsteps grab both of your attention. Logan covers you as best as he can as he unsheathes his claws.
“Woah there, let us get the intimacy coordinator here before the two of you start the devils dance.”
“Shut the fuck up Wade.” Logan growls as he sits back up. You try and avoid Wade’s gaze as you sit up.
“I didn’t know they made Viagra for 200 year old men.” He says while unashamedly staring at Logan’s crotch.
“Get the fuck out Red.” You hiss.
“Sorry angel, big fan by the way, just came out here to check on peanut.” Logan makes a move to get up and Wade jumps back.
“Fine jesus sorry for being a concerned friend!” He huffs before marching back to the hideout.
“Does he ever shut up?” You ask and Logan grunts.
“No.”
The fire has been slowly dying and the light is fading fast.
“We’re leaving at sunrise for Cassandras. We’re getting out of here.” Logan looks at you with unease. He just got you back and now you’re going to risk your life again.
“We could stay here. This place ain’t so bad.” Not when you’re here. He could make this place a home if you’re with him.
“They need you Logan, they don’t stand a chance without you.” You hum as you pick a leaf out of his hair.
“What if I lose you again? I just got you back.” He can’t let you slip through his fingers.
“You won’t lose me my love. I swear. Laura believes in you and so do I.” He thinks about Laura. The girl who lost her own version of him. Whoever that man was, he was a hero. If he could be a fraction of him, then maybe he could prove he’s more than what he’s become. You love him but he could be the man he always wanted to be for you. He could be proud of the suit , of his title. He can make you proud.
“Okay. But you’re staying by my side the whole time.” You smile and kiss him once again. Sighing as you get to relish being in the arms of your lover again.
“Deal. Now, let’s get some rest.” You guide him to your bed, he curls up next to you.
Burying his face in your chest as you try and sleep. Logan's hold on you is iron clad, he's afraid that when he wakes tomorrow you won't be here, that this was all some strange dream. You place your hand over his, cooing soft words in his ear until he relaxes.
"I love you Logan." You whisper as you close your eyes. Ready to face whatever comes tomorrow with your husband by your side.
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TADC Ep 4 Ramble! (?)
OKAY!! ive been wanting to yap about this for a while so!!
FIRST!! what finally got me to make this post!
the difference between how jax and ragatha worded it when they said something about gangle being happy!!
as you can see here, jax says "I like you better when you're sad."
but why am i thinking about this so much?
jax doesn't really say "i hate when youre happy," or anything of that sort! he just says "i like you better when you're sad." is there really that much of a difference? well, yes!
there's actually a BIG difference!
"I hate when you're happy," would mean that Jax ONLY likes Gangle when she's sad and that he makes her sad BECAUSE she's happy, which isn't the case!
We KNOW that Jax doesn't do it because he dislikes when she's happy (although that MIGHT be the case, he definitely doesnt overall HATE when she's happy) because he says in Ep 1;
"I'm fine with doing whatever, as long as I get to see funny things happen to people."
AND at the beginning of Ep 3, he has absolutely no issue with her being happy in any way. You can even visually see the reason he throws her mask is because he thinks it's funny.
(he literally dgaf)
Hell, you can tell he wasn't even considering throwing her mask until Gangle mentioned the doors and he was like "oh stars yknow what would be funny..."
oh stars wait i didnt know there was a pic limit hokd on
okay had to delete some SORYR wait does fhis mean this has to be a seperate part thing??? how do i even do fhat... oh dear... THATS OKAY ILL FIGURE IT OUT!! anyways
I'm sure you get my point! Yes, in Ep 2, he seems a bit happier with her being sad, he LITERALLY SAYS "Aren't you supposed to be submissive and agreeable?", but also remember he SPECIFICALLY says
"I like you better when you're sad." not that he ONLY likes her when she's sad, which is kinda my point with this.
Now, what makes it so different to Ragatha's comment about her being happy?
"You're kind of annoying when you have your happy mask."
Yeah. Kind of a big difference.
She just straight up says she thinks Gangle is annoying when she has her happy mask.
It can be argued that it's because Ragatha was hit with the good ol' stupid sauce, but if you haven't noticed, it's not that it made her stupid(although it sorta did), it just made her brutally honest with how she felt.
Gangle already knows that Ragatha is a people pleaser. Kind of everyone knows that. But regardless, Gangle considers Ragatha a friend. Sure, she could've expected it from Jax, but from RAGATHA?
Yeah. I wouldn't expect it either.
Because again, unlike Jax, Ragatha says she finds Gangle annoying when she's happy. Jax does not. And we know Jax is typically at least somewhat honest about how he feels. He literally has no reason to lie to Gangle about that, though. Like literally no reason.
"I like you better when you're sad" is a BIG difference than "You're kind of annoying when you have your happy mask."
Before anyone mentions it, although yes Ragatha DOES say happy MASK, Gangle doesn't exactly show she's sad when she has her happy mask on. She seems happier than when she doesn't have it, but we can pretty confidently assume that's not the case. I'll get into her mask later, though.
Regardless, what we know so far is that nobody really knows her happy mask doesn't actually make her happy except (now) Pomni and MAYBE Zooble.
Although I sorta doubt the Zooble thing because Ep 4 allowed us to learn that Gangle has a bigger mood drop the longer she's 'happy' for, since happiness isn't what she truly feels most of the time.
OKAY next post so i can put more images.
#tadc gangle#tadc jax#tadc#the amazing digital circus#tadc ragatha#tadc pomni#tadc kinger#tadc zooble#tadc ep 4#tadc episode 4#tadc episode four#the amazing digital circus gangle#gangle#aah i think thats all?#gangle is not okay#if anything id say she needs help#like serious help#she probably wont get it though#rip#ribbun#?#i guess???#i dunno#but i talked about jax and gangle way too much#also my username literally has ribbun#so i guess i wouldve added that tag anyways#okay thats all now so bye bye friends!!#love yall!#wait i missed something#nevermind
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I need to watch more Star Trek: The Original Series. Despite, you know, everything about me, I've only actually seen like a third of it. I never was a big fan as a kid and I never went back to watch it.
The slightly embarrassing reason why I need to watch it is that I've been developing this headcanon about Bones where he's got a complex and somewhat destructive relationship with death and I honestly don't know if it's backed up by canon and I don't want to keep talking about it (in the same ways, at least) if it's not really canon-compatible.
So I wanna re-watch/watch TOS just so I can see if my Bones characterization makes any sense or if it's solidly an alternate take on the character, like "what if bones was a depressed perfectionist with substance abuse issues?"
Like, I know he's often the smilies and jokiest of the crew, but that always read as, like... "clown happiness", for lack of a better term. It's smiling and joking as an act, because you don't want to look and sound as miserable as you are.
I think McCoy is a man who wants to save everyone and despite the wonders of his future technology, he knows he can't win. No matter how many miracles he pulls off, it's just a matter of time before they come back from a mission with something he can't fix, and they die on his medibed or in his arms on a mission. This is, of course, not helped by his two closest friends being Kirk and Spock, who are always willing to die to save each other, the crew, the mission, strangers, alien rocks with laser eyes, the concept of hatred itself, whatever.
He's "happy" and "jokey" but in a M*A*S*H sense: you're saving lives but sometimes it hits a little too hard that you're saving soldiers who are just going to go back out there and get shot or blown up or whatever damn foolish way. And he drinks a lot more than he should to not have to face those facts sober. And to forget, even if only for a moment, all the faces of those he failed to save.
Spocks got an eidetic memory from his green-blooded heritage, but Bones doesn't need one to be sure he remembers that young ensign who was grabbed by a plasma macrobe and had all his red blood cells turned to dust. There's one of those every day, it seems. Different reasons, different situations, different faces dying in front of him and he never stops feeling like a failure when it happens. But he goes on, because if he gives up that'll just mean more deaths and pain and sickness.
He knows he's gonna lose this war in the end. But that's no reason to stop fighting. He drags himself to the sickbay every morning, happy and chipper, because if he doesn't do this he can't live with himself, and you've he's got to put on a good show for the patients, nurses, officers. They're counting on him, and they need his wholesome bedside manner.
But you can see it when he gets angry. How pissed he gets when people die for no reason, are sick for no reason, are denied treatment for no reason, and how much he hates all this space malarkey. His anger sounds like a man who has been hurting for a very long time and is finally letting some of it out.
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Jayvik Headcanons! ٩( ᐛ )( ᐖ )۶
(You can use these for your fics, art or whatever, I don't mind! Tell me or tag me if you do though 'cause I'd love to see it/read it.)
Jayce is naturally good with kids. Viktor is awkward with them, but for some reason the kids love him. They often want touch or try his cane or ask curious questions and their parents deem it as disrespectful, but he always assures them they can and gladly lets them. He also loves to say playful lies like "Actually don't tell anybody this but I've acquired the powers to teleport. I just have to act like a normal human being among the public." Or, better yet, he tells them he's actually an alien. HOWEVER... Viktor hates newborns. He hates when he's forced to cradle them in his arms. Too much slobber, shit and vomit. You can't even talk to them and know there's some kind of understanding between you and them. Jayce, on the other hand, could have a baby shart in his arms and still be like "awww!" He also loves to play with them theatrically.
Viktor is a HUGE Doctor Who fan. It's basically all he ever watches. Jayce is more of a Holiday Movies guy or series with Comedy, Romance or both, especially soap operas, but he was once forced to watched Doctor Who and now he's hooked too.
Jayce is the only one who finds Viktor's dry and dark humor, especially directed at himself, funny. He finds it so refreshing since posh people's humor is extremely boring. Plus, he understands that Viktor would prefer making light of his bad situation to cope and it's not his place to tell him what to joke and not joke about.
Although they mostly lock in and work hard all night in the lab, the sleep deprivation makes them find ANYTHING funny. Sometimes they end up in an endless loop of laughing fits because both of them are so sleep deprived they can't properly say words anymore.
Speaking of, they probably share all their deepest secrets on a whim but don't remember anything the next day, as if they were totally drunk or something.
Also, they cover each other up if they find one of them has fallen asleep. Often times, however, Viktor finds himself magically spawning in his bed. He never thought much about it, figuring he was so exhausted he probably doesn't remember going home, when in reality it was Jayce that carried him home to make sure his body wouldn't be in pain in the morning.
When Viktor is mad at Jayce he abuses that disabled card. Sometimes he publically humiliates him by pretending he's a bad person that doesn't help his disabled friend with anything. In reality, if he tried to pick something that fell for him, he would be met with the smack of his cane.
Speaking of, acts of service is Jayce's way of flirting. He's an extrovert, but he's not confident at all. He never says his feelings first, just acts especially nice towards someone with numerous gifts, praise and help. Viktor thought he was just being ableist.
Again, speaking of, Viktor is more of a words of affirmation guy. However, when they got together, they have scheduled days within the week where Viktor HAS to accept help and be spoiled. He knows its Jayce's love language by now, so, even if he finds it condescending, he's happy to let him have those days to let it all out.
Sometimes Jayce presents Viktor a complex equation because he loves seeing him explain how to solve it. He just loves listening to him yap.
Viktor has a secret passion for astronomy. Can name you every star. Jayce has a secret passion for birdwatching. Can name you every bird. He'd also love falconry. Tbh he adores animals in general.
Viktor despises Astrology. Jayce loves it. He likes to piss him off by saying "You're acting like your sign right now."
Jayce loves pop and reggaeton, meanwhile Viktor thinks classical music is superior to anything else. He especially listens to it because it is scientifically proven it helps with focus. He hates when he wakes up in the morning to him cleaning and blasting El Taxi or something.
Viktor also loves theatre musicals. His favorites are Ride the Cyclone, Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. He also loves plays like Hamlet or live orchestras.
Jayce is very good at cooking thanks to his mom's teachings. Plus he just really enjoys it. Viktor is the type who finds it a chore and eats only because he has to (he doesn't even do that most days). Jayce often brings extra food when he packs lunch so Viktor can have some too :) he also loves to cook for him.
Jayce is naturally good at dancing. Adores Just Dance and group dances (Viktor always wins Just Dance without even moving his legs). Viktor is naturally good at playing instruments. He likes to focus on what his hands can do so he can feel better about his bad leg.
Jayce loves head massages and scritches. He's a sucker for physical touch. Viktor likes to give him that while he's reading notes or a book.
Jayce is a dog person who has no problems with cats. Viktor is a cat person who kinda hates dogs since they drool all over the place and lick his face.
Viktor never cries, but when he does it's GUT wrenching because of all the bottled up emotions. Jayce, on the other hand, cries for absolutely anything, especially movies. He could see a child with their mom on a random stroll and shed tears saying "they're so happy :("
Ximena (Jayce's mom) adores Viktor. He always tells Jayce to invite him over whenever they can so he can spend less time alone and even encourages him to sleep over. She just can't bare the thought of someone's baby struggling on their own and not being taken care of.
Jayce mostly overthinks when he's trying to fall asleep. The silence is always broken by him spiraling saying things like "do you think I'm annoying?" simply for a stranger not responding after he complimented them or something. The thought of someone hating him drives him insane. He wants to be liked by everyone. People pleaser core.
#jayce talis#arcane jayce#jayce x viktor#jayvik#jayce arcane#viktor arcane#ximena talis#ximena arcane#arcane viktor#headcanon#headcanons#my headcanons#fic ideas#character headcanons#jayvik headcanons#viktor headcannons#jayce headcanons#arcane#arcane s2#arcane season 2#viktor#arcane headcanon
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SUNFLOWER "ANON" HERE AGAIN RGHHAHHHHHHH (i prefer sending anon asks)
timeskip scout with a dilf hunter reader /j /sfw🙏
reader meets scout (and the rest of the team) again after 7 years and now he has kids and a shitty mullet, immediately goes *neuron activation* after seeing how great he is with his children
reader fr being not the step parent but the parent that stepped up 🙏
HEY ANON!!!!!!! (I totally get you)
I am so happy to get this request, because I think about this SO often! I was already into Scout before, but him becoming a Dilf was NOT on my 2024 bingo card 🗣‼️‼️ I have made another fic about Dad!Scout before, so here’s the link if you wanna check it out!! https://www.tumblr.com/kingqueensoobscene/770802320729669632/you-got-it-boss-i-wrote-this-as-a-romantic-scout
COMIC!SCOUT X DILF LOVER!READER (SFW)
-In the beginning, you met Scout working as a mercenary and while you joined the last out of the 10, you quickly became good friends. Being the 2nd youngest out of the 10, you and Scout had more in common. Comic books, TV shows, action figures, collecting cards. As a skilled defense, you worked well with Scout. Scout created a distraction long enough for you to knock the enemy Soldier from behind. Or for him to grab the intelligence while watching his flank. Then there was always celebrating wins together with spiked Bonk! on a late afternoon.
-Over time, you wanted the one you could’t have. The unrequited crush he had on Miss Pauling, who you felt would not like him back considering she devoted 10 years of her life to a woman, made you feel sad. And Spy noticed those nights you spent sitting alone in the common area, morphing into color to tell you that this was all pointless. You only shrugged. You couldn’t help who you were attracted to. The fabric of his gloves brushed along woven cloth as he moved from his hand from his head to his eyes and rubbed them. Reassuringly, Spy told you you were an open book and Jeremy can’t read. As stupid as it sounded, he was right
-Most of the team, some uncaring for it, knew you liked Scout. And it wasn’t that you acted like an idiot in front of him or that you flirted or even act jealous when Miss Pauling was around, you did none of that. It was how you looked at him. You looked past all of his stupidity and his overconfidence and you saw how he actually was. A sore loser who wanted to be liked. He told you all of the things that bothered him; how he couldn’t kill that one dumb Blu Sniper that keeps getting a hit on him no matter what you two strategized and how he viewed the other mercenaries as the family he missed back in Boston. He was oddly sacred when it came to his family. He liked not being alone and being around the loud and despite being the least strong, being capable of helping out his team and getting the chance to prove himself. And how everyone knew that you saw him as something other than a Masshole. And they really, really doubted you.
-Down the line, with the help of Soldier, Miss Pauling found the scarce Australium thought to be gone from the Earth. After getting out of Australia, you found yourself in the maw of the Administrator and the many other teams of mercenaries. After the purpose of the entire manhunt for this element was found to be futile, you moved on. That was it. Moving on in life after the administrator was dusted was difficult. A harsh reality that the 9 other guys you started to see as people other than your coworkers, you would most likely not see again. It’s wasn’t so bad though; you got a good job, still did the things you loved, had a good social life too. You just missed one thing very much, your friend.
-It was a shock when you found Soldier in your apartment when you came home from work. He gave you a big ol hug that knocked the wind out of you while two weights held your legs down to Earth. Two kids? Zhanna and Doe had children?! Soldier quickly brushed you off, saying that Merasmus wanted to hurry and explained that you were the only one the rest of the team couldn’t find. You were the only smart one who threatened to sue unless you were given a compensation package and a new identity. You were taken, not by choice, though you didn’t complain, to the city of Boston.
-When you arrived with the entirety of Heavy and now Soldier’s family, it was on the steps of the boy you used to know well. Honestly, you were nervous, but excited. You had already caught up with Heavy and Medic the whole car ride there. Drifting to the back of the line as Heavy entered with the turkey the unattended Miss Pauling bought the team and Soldier’s kids practically dashed under the legs of everyone. Then you saw him. His hair all shagged out and his face with no traces of his 20’s anywhere. His eyes widened and a smile grew.
“You goober! I thought I wasn’t gonna see ya tonight!” He said as he pulled you into a squeezed hug.
It lasted for a couple more seconds before Scout looked down. A little boy tugging at his legs.
“Daddy, can me and Patton and Georgia go play outside?” A small boy with yellow goggles on his face asked.
“Hmm, I dunno. Dinners about ta start. Why don’t you wait until after dinner, alright?” Jeremy ruffled the boy’s hair.
“Alright dad!” He ran off back into the kitchen.
You were honestly kind of surprised. You knew he wanted a family, but you never expected how good of a father he would be. His kid didn’t seem to throw a fit about waiting, instead just listening to him. Your crush just got revamped entirely. Your mind became moments of the days you spent on the rooftop talking about his Ma and his family. It seemed weird to be passionate about, but the impression was given that he wanted to have kids of his own to take care of and be a better father than the man who was absent. Giggling was loud in the living room where you saw 5 more kids, two of which were Soldier’s.
“You have 4 children?!”
Jeremy only laughed. “You too, huh? Yeah, everyone’s so shocked.”
“I mean, it has been 7 years.”
“Yeah, but that just means we got lots of catchin’ up, huh?” He punched your arm.
“For starters, where’s your lucky wife? You nudged his side, smirking.
“Got none. All deadbeats, the last three. Doesn’t matter, they’re my kids and I’m gonna raise ‘em right.”
Despite the circumstances that you wish were much better for the children’s well-being, this just got so much better for you.
“But I love my lil boogers.”
He ran up behind the running girl who had a purple skirt and a grey sweater on. He picked her up under her arms and brought her to his face.
“Isn’t that right, my lil booger?” He kissed the girl’s cheek and she giggled more.
He set her down gently and make an explosion noise. Another girl, a redhead, came up and asked if she could be exploded and you chuckled. But he did it, he lifted her up, gave her a peck on the forehead and set her down making a crashing noise. He was really good with kids. Maybe you would take him up on that offer to catch up.
-Eventually and habitually, you often visited his home on the weekends. He wasn’t really a fan of leaving the kids home alone, so he liked having you over for dinner. He has a recipe book his mom got him that he uses almost every time he makes dinner. She copied all of the recipes from their family, saving the originals and made them into a book for him when his family visited for Christmas (After the holiday party with the team). They are some of the most delicious foods ever.
-During the spring, he brought out the toy cars for his kids to run around with in the backyard. While he was inside making lemonade, the brown haired girl, Tanya, ran up to you.
“(Name)! (Name)! We need someone to be the helpless victim to Tommy’s castle.” She shook your arm, her balaclava that was way too large for her face flopped around as she did so.
“I guess I’ll have to be saved by the princess assassin once again.” You woed dramatically as she dragged you along to Tommy’s little sandbox.
Tommy had a plastic knights mask on, one he got for Christmas as he has told you ecstatically many times. Jeremy was a good listener when it came to his kids, since he was the youngest of 8 and was mostly given hand-me-downs and mostly unintentionally ignored at times by his Ma. So, since he has half the kids and more free time due to being technically in early retirement, he makes sure all of his kids get what they want. They are a little spoiled.
You were behind the green closed sandbox, where Tommy has “captured” you. You pretended to be tied up, with the imaginary chains behind your back. Tanya, Andy, the curly haired boy and Sierra, the redheaded girl, were huddled up and talking in hushed voices. Andy had on a red cape and his yellow goggles. You could never get him to take those things off.
“So we’re gonna tackle him?” Sierra asked.
“Duh!” Tanya exclaimed.
“Ok!”
They took after their dad so much. Going into things with one thing in mind. Tanya and Andy ran after Tommy and grabbed his legs, tumbling to the ground. Sierra grabbed your arm and led you to the playground set Jeremy had installed over the summer. She urged you to hurry up, so you climbed up the slide while she went up the rocks.
“We won!” She threw her hands to the sky.
You, on the other hand, “Are you ok, Tommy?”
Andy was looking down at his brother, biting his lip. Tommy lifted up the plastic top of the knights mask and you could a smile on his rosy face.
“I’m ok!”
You took the slide down and went up to him.
“You sure?”
“Good,” you helped him to his feet, “because I need a knight to help me win against an assassin.”
Tanya whined and looked betrayed.
“What? No fair!”
“You were fooled, it was a trap!” You grabbed a foam sword.
Tommy giggled manically as you both ran after them. You didn’t hit the 3, you couldn’t, but you pretended to slash them with a “shh!” noise. Then you heard a loud laugh to your left.
“Heh, oh man! That’s something. C’mon kids, come get your drinks.” You saw Jeremy had come back.
The kids dropped what they were doing and ran to the cookies and lemonade. You walked up to Jeremy a little rosy.
“I hate to say it, but I betrayed your daughter.” You chuckled.
“Yeah, I saw that.” He smirked.
After putting the kids to bed, Jeremy walked you out the door.
“Thanks for taking care of my kids when I would step away.” He leaned his elbow against the doorframe.
“That’s nothing! You’re great with your kids, I’ve never seen kids be such good listeners.”
“Heh, well, their dad is an amazing guy.” He chuckled.
Then there was silence. You hesitated. Jeremy looked at you with a squint and a smile.
“You okay?”
“I have to tell you something to tell you. And it’s going to be hard because it might ruin things between us.”
“Oh yeah?” He smiled, unserious.
“I- ok, so I have known you for a long time and you are one of the people I care about the most. I know it’s been a long time, but those feelings have come back again. I know you have your kids and I know that’s the life you want, which is totally fine! But now that we’re older, I wanted to tell you and get it off my chest.”
He leaned closer, waiting with an eager smile.
“I have always liked you.”
“That it?”
“That’s all.”
You could not look into his eyes. You did not want to see him angry or in disbelief if this would be the last time you ever talk to him again. You feel awful, but you need to tell him otherwise you would regret it again.
“Is it because I’m a dad now? Because i always knew I was smokin’ hot, but I never knew that’s what it would take for you to tell me.”
Then you started to laugh. And he laughed. And you looked at him now. He was just looking at you.
“Do you like me?” You asked.
“Well, I didn’t always. But now I’m thinking, why the hell I didn’t.”
And there was another moment of silence again. For once in his life, he actually thought about his words. It would take some serious rekindling before he would consider dating you. His kids come first and that is something he makes clear from the beginning. To be honest, he has thought about you for some time. He’s trusted you for years, and now he knows he still can.
“I dunno, maybe this could work. But, hey, uh, just gimme some time. I’ll have to find a babysitter.”
#tf2 scout#scout x reader#team fortress scout#team fortress 2#tf2 scout x reader#tf2 comic 7 spoilers#tf2 comic 7#scout
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I like your saiteru posts but I can't shake the idea that Teruhashi only loves the idea of Saiki and not actually Saiki, especially since she hated when he gave her a glimpse of himself when he was competitive during their date.
ive seen this take floating around a few times, this whole "teruhashis mental image of saiki is wrong" "teruhashi wouldnt love him if she got to know him" "teruhashi hated any time she saw his REAL personality" and i just dont get it because like...
this scene?? the scene where hes being inconsiderate, rude, not taking her feelings into account, making her play games she doesnt even want to play, acting like a gooner, etc? THIS is the scene you thought was him showing her a glimpse of what hes really like??? where did you get that from?/genq
hes competitive, yeah, but this… isnt being competitive, its just being an asshole. thats not what hes like when hes trying to win. him wanting to win games and show off with his powers is not equivalent to being an inconsiderate tryhard who wants to make everyone do what he wants with no thought to what they want…
but youre ALSOOOOO forgetting that she actually did end up being like… “hehe i still wuv him 😚” after this…
so.. on THAT note, i need everyone to pay really really close attention to what im about to say…
she loves him when hes rude, inconsiderate, pushy, competitive…
she loves him when hes open, popular, kind, powerful, reading her mind…
she loves him when hes gloomy, monotone, boring, quiet…
she loves him when hes a GIRL.
so why is the conclusion here “she wouldnt love him for the real him”? the logical conclusion here seems to be “she would love him no matter what”
WHAT ABOUT THAT DOESNT SCREAM “LOVE”?
and regarding her "only loving his persona the same way people only love teruhashis", i think everything above disproves that anyway but i have to go more into it because not only have you misunderstood me but this also implies you think none of saiki and teruhashis friends truly love them at all 😭
saikis quiet, boring self isnt completely not him. its still him, just a different side of him than you might be used to as a viewer. you guys have to understand that although, yes, he is masking and putting up a front, that doesnt mean EVERY part of him that people see is fake 😭 its the same with teruhashi, she doesnt have a single tangible "true" self entirely on the inside and a single tangible "fake" self entirely on the outside, its NOT completely black and white! PEOPLE arent completely black and white!
youre forgetting that me saying those guys (the kokomins and all those gross ew men) dont love her because they dont know and see her was accompanied by a picture of them literally asking her to continue validating them immediately after she woke up from passing out 😭 they quite literally dont love or care about her, not even about her image, they just like the idea of her image and want her to make them feel good. the whole "nobody sees and knows and loves her" doesnt apply in the same way to yumehara and their other friends, they may not truly see her with the same depth that saiki does but that doesnt mean their care for her is fake, because they DONT care more about her image than just her and being in her company even if they do still see the parts of her that ARE fake.
you cant just take the idea that they fake a lot of themselves around others and morph that into "every single thing people see of them is fake and every single thing they dont see is an accurate representation of their true selves", it just doesnt work like that 😭 regardless of saikis power and silliness and sweetness and competitiveness, hes still a quiet guy with a gloomy face. and regardless of teruhashis cuntiness (lol) and competitiveness and obsessiveness and silliness, shes still a sweet girl who enjoys making people happy. they can be BOTH and thats okay!
this misunderstanding is like youre hearing someones thoughts and thinking "oh what a blunt person" like well... no because not everything in your head defines your personality or is something youd ever want or need to say aloud. everyone thinks crazy things, had wrong initial impressions, etc, do you see my point?? am i getting this across properly??? saiki still enjoys sitting in his house and doing nothing but eating coffee jelly and playing video games and teruhashi still enjoys when she makes people happy, those things arent fake just because they contribute to their fake personas... saiki also would not have been singing and doing standup or whatever the hell people are convinced he wouldve been doing at the mixer with someone hes "more comfortable" with, he doesnt do that shit around anyone 😭 not around his family and not around the psychickers, so im not sure where people got the idea that her thinking he would sit there and do nothing was her not understanding him or that the way he was making the guys act was how he truly wants to act 😭 he can sing and crack jokes but he never has around anyone so we dont know if thats what he wants to do, i dont even remember him making jokes aloud to the psychickers other than being a little sassy ☠️ the most i remember is him making short silly jokes to tease his dad or toritsuka... you guys just assume that hes the type of guy to stand up and sing and yell and make everyone roll over laughing because idk... maybe you cant stand the idea that your fav might not be a sexy loud confident alpha male and might actually be a little guy who loves video games and watching people and being a little brat on occasion ☠️
i feel like this take is just you guys taking both their insecurities SUPER seriously, because what else could be making you think that ANYONE who doesnt know about his powers doesnt truly love or care for saiki??
anyway... it clearly just doesnt matter to her how he acts because she just loves him and enjoys his company no matter what. thats love.
#terusai haters stay delusional#not you anons you were pretty polite im just using this as an opportunity to talk about a lot of stuff#thank you for the asks#im just assuming you both got this from a certain highly delusional source#ive said this before but the most 'true' that we see saiki in my opinion was the horse race episode#the way he is with akechi encompasses a lot of the true elements of himself#and guess what??? its extremely similar to him when he was playing video games with kaido kuboyasu and nendo#that to me is what you get when you simply take away most of the faked parts of saiki. the person he is around others doesnt just go away.#theres just more to it is all#sorry this post is so long im fucking crazy#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#teruhashi kokomi#terusai#saiteru#meows post#meownalysis#<- sorta
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