#I just think that he would love writing letters

[nobodyfamousposts]

Scarlet Lady Top 10 Favorite Characters: Number 10

For @zoe-oneesama

Okay, I realized as I was writing these that there is way way WAY too much to each of these and why to be able to put them all into one post, so I'm breaking them down into individual essays focusing on each one to keep them palatable.

So without further ado....

Number 10: EVERYONE

Yeah, I know it may be cheating but at this point it was the only choice I could make.

I came to regret making this list, specifically because I couldn’t seem to make up my mind as far as who all would be on it. I reread the entire series. I kept switching people in and out as I was reminded of characters or scenes I loved. And I came to a realization that there is no character in the whole of this series I didn’t enjoy to some extent that they didn't deserve some love in this list and I kind of wish I could have added all of them just to give them all some spotlight.

Yes, it is partly because everyone is vastly improved compared to Canon. But as I reread the series, it came to mind that if Canon didn’t exist and I didn’t have the comparison between the characters, I still very much would have loved this series and everyone in it.

Cause and Effect Exist

It's important to have a setting in which the characters and their actions make sense for the world they live in. When the setting is supposed to be modern day earth, we need the people to be able to show that they are capable of surviving in it on a day to day basis without being so massively incompetent that they would do something like accidentally ingesting poison. Or forgetting how to breathe.

I would think it would be obvious, but sometimes Canon makes me wonder. Which is never a good look for a show that is supposed to have some level of seriousness and involve superheroes.

Here’s the thing Canon can’t seem to get: when a majority of the things that go wrong in a plot are because of everyone having to be stupid to make the plot work, you have a problem with the writing. Changing the material in a story so that younger people can enjoy it does NOT mean dumbing down the characters and throwing in arbitrary lessons with no real reason to them. Even if the show itself is geared towards kids, you can’t treat the audience like they’re stupid.

In Scarlet Lady, the people aren’t stupid.

Silly, yes. Wrong, often. Overdramatic, definitely. But while they may make stupid choices sometimes, they aren’t so dumb that anyone should have concerns about their ability to function at a higher level than an overcaffinated 2 year old.

They’re fooled initially the way many of us would be with a biased story that hits the news first. Oblivious to the problems in a situation that they logically wouldn’t have much direct insight into. Prone to making mistakes and incorrect judgement the way that anyone would. That's normal. That's expected.

But they’re not so incapable as to forget things that happen right in front of them between one day and the next. Or even between one scene and the next.

Things carry over. We see cause and effect. We see consequences—bad and good. And those consequences extend not only for the episode or season but for the entire series.

Aurore KNOWs Alec cheated her before and maintains a tight control over him and prevents more of his antics.

Adrien and Alya maintain a cold attitude towards Lila for some time after her reveal as a liar. And it even remains a point against her as used by Chloe as herself and as Scar to discount what she says.

The boys of the class remember Adrien’s “love letter to Marigold” and try to win him her merch because they’re bros like that. 

Adrien himself remembers the instances of his dad being a massive prick and instead of being surprised and “sad boi uwuwu” each time it happens like it’s supposed to be a surprise that the massive prick would choose to be a prick, he very clearly moves through the stages of grief to the point of a sort of acceptance that involves planning around and even for him.

Gabriel’s horrible parenting and general lack of concern for Adrien or his wellbeing as he ends up a casualty of various akuma attacks was played off for laughs when such incidents occurred. Then they were brutally called out against him in the Finale as a way to counter his claims of doing everything for Adrien’s sake. And the big reveal of the Birthday Scarf…utilized in the last way anyone would have wanted.

And Chloe is perhaps the biggest example as her antics ARE NOT forgotten or ignored by anyone. The classmates still interact with Chloe and are relatively nice to her, but they don’t just forget that she’s treated them horribly. They don’t act surprised when she does anything horrible. Nor does anyone just laugh it off or excuse it as “just who she is”. We see follow up to her behavior—the class fully expecting her to cause trouble and actively try to plan around it. People calling her out on past behaviors. And even bigger consequences as time goes on. Such as Adrien breaking off the friendship. And a blink and you miss it fridge logic moment in Ikari Gozen when you realize that when they said she was banned from all future Gabriel-involved competitions, they meant it.

The fact that by the time the big reveal happened that Chloe was Scarlet Lady, no one was shocked.

Story-wise, this is showing the passage of time and the effect the events of the story are having. It’s showing that there is lasting impact and that what happens to the characters matters.

Meta-wise, this is Zoe rewarding us for paying attention.

Continuity exists in Scarlet Lady. Time exists. The people exist. When anyone does anything, you get the sense that they aren’t operating in a vacuum. The things they do matter. There are consequences. There is an impact. And if there is an impact in the story, there will be an impact on the audience.

Which leads to…

Character Depth/Character Growth

Usually in TV shows of this nature, if there ARE character arcs for the side characters, they only occur over the course of a single episode devoted to focusing on them before moving on elsewhere. 

Canon didn’t give us that much at all in favor of having every episode that should focus on other characters learning and growing instead forcing Marinette to be wrong in some way and learn an arbitrary lesson that often would have better served for someone else.

In Scarlet Lady, the arcs we get are impressive for all that they’re relatively unobtrusive. They aren’t big. They aren’t world-ending. And the thing is, most change in life isn’t. It can just FEEL that way.

Like the way it felt for Kim when he first found out Ondine liked him and then had his confession to her screwed up.

And the way it felt for Kagami when she lost that first match against Adrien.

Then there’s the way it felt for Chloe when she was dismissed by her mother, had her popularity go downhill, and ended up losing her Miraculous.

…or the way it felt for Adrien when he discovered his dad was Hawk Moth.

The reactions we witness are in a great part due to actions outside of the characters’ control, but are ultimately a result of the experiences they have had and the ways they have changed as a result.

The question becomes: are the characters that we meet at the beginning pretty much identical to how they are at the end? Is the world?

The answer in Scarlet Lady is no.

Whether because the characters themselves change or our perception of them does, we can see that they have all undergone some sort of events that create a difference between the start and end points.

Not all of them HAVE to undergo some big emotional arc. Not all of them NEED to. But the characters still mostly go through some sort of growth by the end that I feel make them stronger and healthier people.

You’ve got the big life-altering changes like Lila and Sabrina.

You’ve got the little changes like Nino and Ivan.

You’ve even got the most minuscule, beginning stages of change in Chloe.

You’ve got growth that creates such perfect setup with Mylene when she starts off scared and traumatized by how things went with Stoneheart then is the one who confronts him in the end. And the parallel between the finale and the beginning when she returns him to normal by kissing him just like they did in that first episode to change him back then, too! (Just….GOD, I CANNOT GET OVER THIS!)

You’ve got them reaching out and making friends and relating to people they hadn’t before.

And by the end of it all, we get characters who feel like people rather than props.

They don’t all have to change. They don’t necessarily need to go through an entire emotional arc and back again. They just need to be part of the world they’re in.

Nino doesn’t just pop into existence when Adrien or Alya need someone to interact with. Kagami isn’t just a non-horrible or non-evil love rival for Adrien or a stepping stool for him to “practice“ at being in a relationship before it’s time for him to try the “real thing” with his endgame pairing. Luka isn’t just a decent guy who is the only actual form of support for the female lead and yet only lacking that precious “male lead” title or all around just not “Adrien enough” to fill the role.

Adrien isn’t just a “sad boy” meant to be a main love interest, Villain’s Morality Pet, and the one everyone idolizes and chases after just cuz he’s the male lead and that’s how you show he’s desirable I guess. Marinette isn’t the atlas keeping the story alive because no one else is apparently capable of learning lessons and changing, or even just the bare basics of functioning as individuals. Chloe isn’t just there to be horrible for no reason and get away with it so she can continue to be horrible until the writers suddenly need her to be sympathetic.

And the rest of the classmates aren’t just some Greek chorus there to fill the background.

We see them interact. We see them making jokes or jabs. We see them even…*gasp* having different opinions!

And on something as major and life-controlling as feelings about the “Hero of the City” no less! Why, that’s the sort of thing that would break up friendships and determine who you can sit next to at the cafeteria! The horror! The scandal!

And…oh hey. This puts the characters in different groups. It links them with characters other their Canonically designated pairings and groups. This lets them disagree on things and not need to vilify any of them. This creates implications that add depth to the story and to the people in it.

The characters can disagree without being enemies. They can be wrong without having to be evil. They can make mistakes without having to be stupid. And they can change and grow—both for better and worse.

And we see both and in different ways. SO many different ways.

Adrien goes from excited and impulsive to buckling under the forced responsibility and weight of a partner who hinders more than she helps.

Lila goes from selfishly bad and self-serving to selfish but friendly with better direction of her talents in a less self-serving way.

And Chloe just goes from selfish and bad to selfish and worse..

I mean, it says something that the combination of Lila’s growth and Chloe’s fall from grace resulted in Hawk Moth being unable to use Lila as a tool for his Heroes Day plot like he originally intended.

The key is that whether they necessarily grow or become better people, these characters are still IMPACTED by the events around them and AFFECTED as a natural result of the world they live in. 

You can’t help but feel for them in some way as a result. It’s part of why I love them.

The other part of why I love them is a bit more epic though…

Crowning Moments of Awesome

If there’s one thing I love, it’s seeing characters be awesome. I love it when characters get to be awesome. I would love to see more of it. Especially when the ones involved are characters you wouldn’t normally expect or get to see have a chance to shine.

And it’s when you see these characters be awesome that you really get the sense that yes, this character would work as a hero.

Seeing Max help against Robustus. Seeing Kim help against Odine. Alix stepping in during Pharaoh, calling out her brother’s fan fiction, and helping the heroes escape the security system at the Lourve. Alya stepping in during Copycat to clue Chat in to what’s going on and later keeping Anansi distracted to keep her away from Chat while he’s trapped. Rose kicking Nightmare!Chat in the face to defend Marinette even when she’s on the run from her own nightmares in Sandboy. Luka leading groups twice to stepping in and helping the heroes deal with akumas. Nathaniel standing up for Marinette and Sabrina when they’re accused in Rogercop and then helping the heroes in Reverser.

These little moments of support make such a big different and really make it make sense that the heroes would trust these people with magical jewelry to help them in battle.

And the little moments of characters being petty or strong or smart or turning the tables or just showing off what they’re capable of. Even without superpowers.

Adrien getting petty revenge for Nino and finding a tactic to counter Gabriel in the future.

The Police Force in Rogercop just saying “Nope” to obeying an obvious akuma. 

Zoe manipulating akumas twice to help the heroes. Her two Reasons You Suck Speeches to her mom and Bustier.

Every instance of payback that Tikki gets against Chloe.

Everyone in the Finale. Just…EVERYONE in the Finale. The characters who manage to avoid akumatization by either spotting the flaws in the illusion or refusing to give in to fear and even protecting others. Nora smacking any akuma that enters the home. Claudie pulling off Power Mom and ordering Max to stop attacking the city then helping to calm him down. Prince Ali and Juleka freeing Rose by kissing her! Chris, Ella, Etta, and Manon saving Mylene! Mylene saving Ivan with a kiss in a direct callback to how they first got together in Stoneheart! (Yes, I am still stuck on that!) Ondine saving Kim! Lila and Sabrina saving Alix! Luka facing Riposte alone and unarmed and then Kitty Section saving Kagami! ALL of the Heroes making a final comeback to help take down Hawk Moth for good! Just—AAAAAH!

How could Miraculous have peaked with this in Season 2 when this is Grand Finale material? Because there are few things more awesome than getting to see ALL the characters the heroes met and befriended and helped throughout the course of the story stepping up at the final battle to help take the Big Bad down!

Like…can we just take a moment to appreciate how everyone gets a chance to stand out in some way? Not all of them necessarily good, exactly (looking at you Andre). But still stand out and be memorable. Even characters who didn’t originally get much focus. Especially characters who were originally functioning as cardboard cutouts to fill a scene.

Anyone remember Aurore? How for the FIRST akuma in the pilot of the series and one who is quite frankly the most interesting and noteworthy, we don’t really get to see her again except in the background.

In Scarlet Lady, we got to actually look in to the contest and how she lost as well as the aftermath. She wasn’t some arrogant showoff who deserved to lose to the “sweet down to earth rival”, she was a girl who legitimately tried her best and had valid reason to be upset. Seeing her get revenge on Alec for cheating and humiliating her on live TV was well worth it.

Or how about the Photographer? Just there to take photos of Adrien in the park for a photo shoot or be the school photographer, but otherwise has no personality and is only remembered for his weird “spaghetti” line.

In Scarlet Lady, his role is two-fold. He acts as a sort of supporter for Adrien in his crush. Taking really good pictures of him being happy with the girl he likes. Taking more class photos at the behest of this girl for the sake of a friend who missed out on the class picture. And then there’s his OTHER role as a sort of antagonist to Chloe. He becomes one of the only ones in the early seasons willing and capable of dismissing her tantrums.

They’re both given more character. They get moments to stand out and BE awesome. So is everyone.

EVERYONE. From the classmates and big named characters we see regularly to the side characters who only appear once or twice. They all get some good scenes and focus that give them their own identities. All of them are memorable. None of them can really be ignored or forgotten. And part of what made making this list so difficult was that I found myself getting attached to pretty much everyone as I came across each of them that I couldn’t quite make up my mind.

Everyone in this fic has done something to make me happy and warrant my approval. Even the characters I normally wouldn’t like at all had their moments to shine and elicit an “okay, that was cool” from me.

Thus I grant this spot to everyone. To all the characters I don’t get the chance to mention. To all the ones I like albeit somewhat less than others. To all the ones I know are horrible but can’t help but like regardless. To all the ones I fought with myself for THREE MONTHS over which one would get this spot.

I love all of them.

[justmymindandstuff]

Hello, how you doing ?

Could i request Cregan Stark x Daemon's first daughter, born from Rhea Royce ?

She is a Targaryen and has a dragon, but she is very shy and tends to keep to herself, so she doesn't tell Cregan about being bullied by Arra Norrey's maids, who think she is not good enough for their lord.

He figures it out when he finds her letters to Rhaenyra and sees her trying to put her bags on her dragon to flee in the middle of the night.

Feel free to ignore this if you don't like it, have a lovely day ☺

Shadows of the past - Cregan Stark x TargaryenReader

summary: Cregan Stark, Lord of Winterfell, is forced to remarry after the death of his first wife and childhood sweetheart. His new bride is the eldest daughter of Daemon Targaryen and Rhea Royce. Cregan fears the worst. But his wife is sweet, gentle, beautiful, kind. Everything he could wish for. He starts thinking you are slowly building a life together in the north, however he realizes that it is not as idyllic for you as he thought.

words: 7.244

warnings: angst, mention of bullying, mention of sex (not explicit), slow burn

a/n: I love writing for Cregan soo much its not normall anymore. Thank you anon for your request🧡. I hope you like it. Sorry that it took me so long.

no use of Y/N, and as always: English is not my first language, no beta, AO3.

requests are open// main masterlist// hotd masterlist

When the offer of your hand from Dragonstone came, Cregan was skeptical. The eldest daughter of the rough prince as a wife. But he needs a new wife. It is his duty as the Warden of the North. And an offer from the Targaryens is not something you simply refuse. So he agrees.

Cregan had expected you to be a spoiled, arrogant, selfish princess.

The girl who arrived in Winterfell on her dragon is exactly the opposite.

You are shy, reserved, calm.

Outwardly, you are entirely Targaryen, with long blonde hair, deep lilac eyes, gentle facial features, beautiful.

Internally, there is none of the infamous Targaryen temperament in you.

When you speak, your voice sounds like a melody, always soft and gentle.

If it weren't for your dragon, Silverwing, Cregan would never think you are Daemon Targaryen's daughter.

The first few weeks, you were very closed off. Never speak unless you are spoken to. Spent most of your time in your chambers, with work or with your dragon.

So he tries everything to make you feel comfortable in Winterfell. He walks with you through the Goodswood, has your favorite food prepared, makes sure you have enough warm cloaks and dresses. When he introduces you to his son Rickon, he is more nervous than he should be, but your eyes begin to shine as the heir of Winterfell greets you politely, just like Cregan has practiced with him.

On your wedding night he swore to you he would never take you if you didn't want to, he gave you all the power in your marital bed. That night you allowed him to lie with you, he was careful, always aware of your fragility, making sure that you also felt pleasure. After that night you didn't invite him into your bed again. Cregan longs for you, but he would never pressure you.

In your first weeks as Lady Stark you spend a lot of time with Winterfells Measter, ask a lot of questions, slowly working your way into your duties as Lady Stark. Cregan quickly notices that you are well prepared for the role of a Lady of a Great House in Westeros, but Winterfell is unlike other castles. You surprise him by quickly get used to it.

The moon hasn´t passed fully since your wedding, when he finds you one day in Rickon's chambers. You are sitting on the floor with his son and play with wooden soldiers, Rickon is telling a fantasy story and you are encouraging him. Cregan's heart swells slightly at the sight.

He clears his throat to get your attention, you flinch violently, when you look up at him you look like a deer.

You get to your feet immediately, surprisingly elegant despite your hectic behavior. "My Lord." you say and lower your head in front of him. A gesture that he couldn't drive out of you.

"My Lady. What are you doing here?"

"We're playing papa." Rickon intervenes without being asked. "Are you playing with us?"

"Unfortunately, I can't today, I have duties to attend to. I just wanted to check on you, my boy."

"I'm fine, father. We're playing great. I have so much fun." he holds up his favorite woodknight.

"Then I don't want to disturb you any further." he smiles at his son, nods to you and then leaves the children's cambers again. His Lords are already waiting for him.

In the evening you come to his chambers, standing uncertainly in his room. Cregan was not expecting you anymore, he has already changed for the night. He offers you a mug of warm beer and a place by the fireplace. As you sit down your cloak slips and the white of your nightgown flashes through. Cregan has to concentrate not to let his gaze wander.

"What brings you to me so late, my wife?" he asks curiously, sitting next to you at the fire.

"I'm sorry." you don´t look him in the eyes.

Cregan has to blink a few times, doesn't understand what you mean. But you don't say anything else, avoid his gaze so that he has to ask. "What are you sorry about?"

"I didn't mean to upset you." your hands play with the fabric of your cloak.

"You didn't upset me, wife. What makes you think that?" he asks, confused. Did he behave differently? Did he speak in a too harsh tone with you?

"Today with Rickon. It upset you that I played with him. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. I have no intention of replacing his mother, your late wife."

Cregan has to suppress a laugh. How wrong you are. "It didn't upset me, sweet wife." his voice is soft and you finally look him in the eyes. Your eyes are wide, surprised, your lips open slightly. Cregan wants to lean forward and kiss you, but he doesn't. "I'm glad that you're spending time with Rickon. Maybe you can be a mother figure to him someday." he expresses his wish hesitantly.

"I intend to love him as if he were mine." you say, a smile creeping onto your lips. Cregan is brave and reaches for your warm hand, stroking the back of your hand with his thumb. You don't pull away and continue speaking. "But he shouldn't forget his mother."

"Don't worry about this, Lady Selina, Lady Darcy and Lady Alys will keep the memory alive."

"The Nursemaids. What does that mean?" you tilt your head slightly, examining him closely. The soft light of the fire catches in your hair and makes your skin glow warmly. Gods you are beautiful. Cregan has to swallow before he can answer.

"They were my late wife's friends, her Ladies. After Arra died, I asked them to stay in the household to look after Rickon." remembering how overwhelmed Cregan suddenly was by everything, and how much the loss of his first wife hurt him, he needs a moment to ground himself before he can continue speaking. "If that bothers you, then of course I can dismiss them and send them away from Winterfell."

He knows that this loss will hurt Rickon, he has been surrounded by the three Ladies his whole life, Selina was Arra's best friend. However he would do it for you, he wants you to feel comfortable and Rickon would get over the loss of his nannies, he is a Starkman after all, one day he will be as tough as winter. He has to be.

"No. No, please don't send them away." you squeeze his hand a little. "It is important that her friends are here. They need to tell him what his mother was like. I mean his real mother. My mother also died when I was young. I hardly remember her and I have nobody how can told me something about her." you suddenly sound sad. Cregan is surprised by your words. Additional to the Ladies, he regularly speaks to Rickon about his mother, takes him to her grave, tells stories, has a portrait of her hung in Rickon's room.

"Your father doesn't talk about her?"

You sigh, a narrow smile on your lips. You look into the flames again before speaking quietly. "No, never." you bite your lower lip and then whisper. "I was told he killed her." Cregan doesn't doubt for a second that it is true. He squeezes your hand gently. You look at him again, a sad smile on your lips. "It hurts when you don't know your mother. It's like half of yourself is missing. And my other half is a monster. I'm glad Rickon is learning about his mother and that his father isn't a monster."

A lump forms in Cregan's throat, he doesn't know what to say. Your words touch him, but at the same time make him angry at your father and he feels sorry for you. Your life doesn't seem to have been particularly bright.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"Thank you. But I don't need your pity." for the first time, Cregan feels like he sees the dragon blood in your eyes. "My stepmothers both treated me as if I were their own blood. I didn't grow up without love."

"I didn't mean to offend you."

"You didn't." your gentle smile is back on your lips. "So I can take care of Rickon?" you avoid his gaze again, your cheeks are slightly red.

"Of course. I'm glad you're getting along well."

"He's great. A good boy." you smile and then get up elegantly from your chair. "I'm retiring now. Good night husband."

"Good night sweet wife." he sinks into a slight curtsy before leaving his chambers. Cregan takes a deep breath and leans back in his chair. He's happy that you want to take care of Rickon. That you want to be a part of his family. This is something he wanted for this marriage, that you can be a family.

Cregans efforts take fruits. He has the feeling that you are slowly thawing and starting to trust him.

A light summer snow falls down and gets caught in the fur of your hood. Cregan has take you for a ride through the Wolfswood today. Cregan is surprised how well you can hold yourself in the saddle. In the next moment, he doubts his sanity. You are riding a dragon. Such a horse is of course easy for you. You look around with wide eyes and a gentle smile on your face. Cregan can't help but stare at you, captivated by your beauty.

"I missed that at Dragonstone." you say, looking over to him. Cregan flinches slightly, doesn't quite understand what you mean.

"Forests?" he guesses. He has no idea about Dragonstone's vegetation.

"No. To see something new. Dragonstone is an island, if you live there long enough, you've seen everything." you shrug your shoulders.

Cregan has to chuckle slightly. "You have a dragon, sweet Wife. You could have seen the whole world."

"I would never have left my family." you say firmly. Are you angry?

"I didn't mean to offend you." he tries to circle back. He is always a bit unsure when he talks to you. He wants you to feel comfortable, that you are doing well, and he wants you to like him. Maybe someday you will love him. He finds it hard to be patient. If he is honest with himself, you had him from the very first moment. Your beauty overwhelmed him, your kindness and gentleness captivated him, and your smile. Gods, your smile makes his heart beat faster.

He knows that he loves you. Even if he can't tell you. Not yet. He is afraid of scaring you. So he holds back. He tries to give you space so you can get used to your new role, your new home, and him.

He would love to scream his feelings for you from the wall so that the whole world hears it.

But it is not the right time for that yet.

A soft smile is on your lips again. "You didn´t husband."

He is relieved and returns your smile. "Do you want to go back? It's a little cold today."

"I'm not cold. I'm from the blodd of the Dragon. The cold doesn't bother me. It´s almost like I belong in the north." in the next moment your eyes widen and you look down. A blush spreads across your cheeks and Cregan has to swallow, his heart skips a beat.

"You are Lady Stark. You belong to Winterfell now." he says, trying to take away your insecurity. You don't look at him again, but he sees a smile on your lips. Maybe you'll even belong to him someday. He hopes so.

Back in Winterfell, you let him help you off your horse. His hands stay on your hips for a moment too long, but you don't seem to mind. You look up at him, your cheeks turn slightly red but you manage to hold his gaze. Cregan drowns into your beautiful, violet eyes. He leans forward slightly, wanting to feel your lips on his even if it's only for a moment. You don't back away.

"Papa." Rickon's voice echoes across the courtyard. Cregan and you flinch apart. He lets go of you and turns to his son. Anger flares up in him briefly at the disturbance, but when his boy jumps into his arms with a broad laugh, it immediately disappears.

"Rickon! Don't be so wild." Lady Darcy comes running out of the castle after him. Cregan notices you shifting your weight from one foot to the other next to him, out of the corner of his eye he sees you turning to your horse. A strange feeling spreads through him. At that moment Lady Darcy comes to him, opens her arms to take Rickon. "My Lord Stark, welcome back," she greets him and curtsies slightly.

"Papa, can I visit the dragon? Darcy says it's too dangerous alone, but you're back now," his son calls excitedly. Cregan's stomach tighten, he keeps himself as far away from Silverwing as possible. He is not comfortable with the monster. Even if there have been no problems so far, your dragon only hunts prey, stays away from people and the farmers' livestock. She usually flies further north, you told him that she has a cave there.

"I think that's a bad idea." Dracy interjects. "The monster is unpredictable, far too dangerous."

Cregan thinks for a moment, of course the nursemaid is right, Silverwing is dangerous. But you know your dragon better. You will certainly be able to judge whether your dragon poses a danger to Rickon or not. He turns to you to ask if it's okay for you to go visit your dragon with him and Rickon, but you are no longer standing next to your horse. His gaze searches the yard, but there is no trace of you. You sneaked away quietly and secretly. Cregan's eyebrows furrow.

"Papa, please, please. I promise I won't pet the dragon either. Just a quick look."

"My lady wife must go with you, Rickon. But she seems to have other things to do today. Another time."

Rickon's lower lip trembles slightly, but he knows better and doesn't burst into tears. The heir of Winterfell doesn't cry over such little things as a denied wish.

"What important things Lady Stark must have to do." Cregan is surprised by Dracy's bitter tone, but he pushes the thought away; perhaps he simply misunderstood her.

The Maester warned him that summer could soon be over. It has been summer for four years now. That means more work for Cregan as Warden of the North and Lord of Winterfell, he has to make sure that his people survive this winter, at least most of them. Winter demands his victims, every damn time. Cregan can only keep the losses as small as possible. So he sinks into paperwork and negotiations with the Lords of the North. Nobody wants to share supplies, everyone is afraid that there won't be enough for themselves. Cregan's tasks is it to find compromises. He would much rather spend his time with you, he longs for you, for your gentle smile, your kind words, the time you have spend together. He wonders if you miss him too?

He only ever gets brief glimpses of you, when you meet in the hallway you give him a smile, when he makes it to the hall for dinner you are usually already sitting there with Rickon, greet him friendly and assure him that you are happy to see him.

Cregan is on his way to a meeting with the carpenter. The houses in Winter Town need to be made winterproof and the villagers need his help. As he walks across the gallery that spans one of the courtyards of Winterfell, your laughter pulls him out of his stride. He stops immediately and turns his head towards the noise.

You and Rickon run across the courtyard, playing catch. His little boy jumps back and forth in front of you, laughing loudly. You let him win, pretending you have trouble catching him.

Lady Selina steps beside him. Her lips are drawn into a thin line.

"My Lord." she slightly bows her head before him and Cregan smiles faintly, he finds it hard to take his eyes off you and Rickon.

"What can I do for you?" he asks and hopes that it's nothing urgent. He's considering canceling the meeting and taking you and Rickon to the Goodswood instead, where you can spend time together as a family without being disturbed.

"I am worried, My Lord." now she has his full attention. His shoulders tense up.

"What happened?" Unrest among the lords, a fight? The servants usually know this things before he does.

Selina gives him a smile. "Nothing happen, My Lord."

He breathes a sigh of relief. "What troubles you then?" Cregan tries not to sound as annoyed as he is. Selina knows that he has a lot to do at the moment. Neverless for the sake of the love he had for his first wife, he always tries to be friendly, even though Selina can often be irritating. Sometimes she takes herself more important than she is, behaves like the Lady of Winterfell, and Cregan has had to remind her of her position more than once.

"It's your new wife, My Lord." she starts, her smile is friendly, doesn't really fit her tone. At the mention of you his heart beats faster, he just has to think of you and he feels like a little boy with a crush. Seeing you makes him float on cloud nine. Cregan turns back to the side and looks down at you again. The broad smile on his lips is unusual for the young Lord.

"We can be glad that she is here with us." his voice is gentle. He has to clear his throat and straightens his shoulders. He quickly slips back into his role as Lord Stark, not the lovesick idiot.

"Can we?" the sharp tone makes Cregans skin crawl. He furrows his eyebrows, turns around. Lady Selina does not flinch from his gaze, but straightens her shoulders. She is a northern woman, intimidation does not work on her. She is like him, hard as winter, unyielding as the wind.

"Is there something you wish to tell me, Lady Selina?"

"No, my Lord. It's just that I… we think that a southern girl might be too weak for the important task of being Lady of Winterfell." she chooses her words carefully, smiling. "I´m only thinking about Rickon and his upbringing. I want the best for him, you know that."

The mention of his son causes his anger at Lady Selina to evaporate. Of course she is only thinking of his son, she wants the best for him. Loves him like her own child.

"My wife is a princess, a Targaryen. She does her job well. Or have you heard something else?"

"No, of course not." Lady Selina lowers her head slightly, no longer looking at Cregan. "I'm just worried about Rickon."

"I really appreciate your concern and care for my son. But your doubts are unfounded. Now if you would excuse me."

"Of course, my Lord." She clenches her jaw and sinks into a curtsy. Cregan walks past her to finally meet the carpenter, he is already too late.

Negotiations with the lords are going badly, Cregan is buried in work and doesn't know what to do. The sun has long set but sleep does not come to him. Instead he sits by the fireplace in his chambers, the taste of beer on his lips and stares into the flames. He sighs. He needs help. Could you give him some advice? That would kill two birds with one stone, he could finally spend some time with you again and maybe find a solution. Without thinking twice he calls for his servant and sends for you.

It doesn't take long before you enter his chambers. You look around uncertainly, you have thrown a cloak over your nightgown, your long blonde hair falls loosely over your shoulders. You are sight for sore eyes.

"My Lord husband," you whisper, curtsying deeper than usual. You slowly take a few steps into the room and stop in the middle. You tremble slightly, your breathing is faster than usual and your hands fumble with the hem of your nightgown. "You ordered me into your bed." your voice trembles as you take a step towards his bed.

Cregans heart sinks, he is on his feet in a heartbeat. You flinch. "My sweet wife, no. I told you I would never do that." he says quickly. It was stupid of him, of course you would think he was ordering you into the marital bed.

"Oh I just thought. Because some time has passed since our wedding night. I thought you might be impatient."

"No. I just wanted to discuss something with you. Please sit down next to me." he points to the chair in front of the fireplace. The fire gives off pleasant heat, sweat forms on Cregan's forehead. However, you are shaking slightly. Cregan reaches for his cloak and puts it around your shoulders before sitting down himself again.

You smile. "Thank you husband." you whisper.

"I'm sorry about the misunderstanding. I just thought you might be able to offer me some advice."

You smile again and Cregan is happy about it. "I don't know if my advice is really useful."

He has to suppress a snort at your modesty. You handle your duties as Lady Stark flawlessly.

"I'm sure it is. And besides that, well." he interrupts himself, noticing the blush rising in his cheeks. "I've hardly had any time for you in the last few days. I'm sorry about that too. I wanted to spend time with you."

Your smile widens. "I've missed the time with you too." you whisper and Cregan's heart starts racing. You missed him. You shift back and forth, making yourself comfortable. "How can I help?"

He starts to describe the problems to you, the stubbornness of his lords, the lying about their supplies even though he knows full well that they have more than they admit. The arguments among themselves.

"Can't you force them to give up some of their stock?" you ask after listening carefully.

This time Cregan snorts, leans back a little in his chair. "And how am I supposed to do that?" Inciting Bannerman against Bannerman would only make things worse.

"Silverwing could help."

"No!" his tone is sharp, his voice too loud for the pleasant atmosphere. You flinch in shock, look at him with wide eyes before avoiding his gaze again.

You swallow. "I'm sorry. It was just an idea. My father always uses Caraxes to get his way." you whisper. Cregan leans forward, reaches for your hand. His heart stops while he waits to see if you pull your hand away. You don't, his fingers carefully wrap around yours.

"Using your Dragon would fulfill the purpose, but I don't want to intimidate my men with her. I don't want to rule with fire and blood."

You nod. "I understand. It was stupid of me."

"No." he shakes his head and gently strokes the back of your hand. "I just hope for a peaceful solution."

You straighten up a little. "Then let's look for a peaceful solution." You both start to brainstorm, but your conversation quickly drifts off. You talk about your childhood in Pentos, your days on Dragonstone and your siblings. Cregan manages to open up about his uncle, how he had to fight for his inheritance and for his rule.

It's good to be able to tell you all this, to have someone to confide in. Only when you yawn after every word and Cregan has trouble opening his eyes again after blinking do you decide to end the evening.

"I'm going back to my chambers then." you say and pull his cloak off your shoulders.

"I'll call a guard for you."

"No, please don't wake anyone up. I'll find the way myself," you say, but your look is uncertain. Cregan also has a bad feeling about letting you walk through half of Winterfell at night.

"Then I'll accompany you."

"Please, husband, don't make yourself so much trouble because of me. You're exhausted yourself and it's an unnecessary journey for you." you object.

Cregan looks at his bed, it's big enough for both of you. Arra has also spent most of her nights here.

"You could sleep here?" he suggests quietly. Your eyes dart to the bed and then to him. You swallow. "Not to fulfill your marital duties, just to sleep." Cregan quickly clarifies.

"What will people think?"

He has to suppress a laugh. "You're my wife, my lady. The people won't think anything."

Your cheeks turn slightly red again. "Right." you think for a moment and then pull your own cloak from your shoulders. Cregan has to look into the flames so that his gaze doesn't get stuck on the curves of your cleavage and he stares like an iron born. Only after you get comfortably under the furs and blankets of the bed he slips off his own clothes and lies down next to you, keeping a safe distance.

"Sleep well, sweet wife."

"Sleep well, husband."

When Cregan wakes up the next morning, you've already disappeared, but your side of the bed is still warm. He turns to the side, buries his face in your pillow and inhales your scent deeply. Cregan knows that you prefer to fly with Silverwing in the morning, so he doesn't worry.

He's tired, but he still throws himself into work.When he returns to his chambers late that evening, you are already sitting in the chair by the fireplace. You turn to him, your cheeks red, but you look him in the eyes. Your hands shake slightly as you hand him a cup of wine.

"I got it from Pentos. I told you about it yesterday." He nods. He's still surprised that you're sitting here, he can hardly believe it. Warmth flows through him and he can't wipe the smile from his lips. He slowly takes your wine and sits down opposite you. "We didn't find a solution to our problem with the Lords yesterday." if you plan to come to him in the evening until you've found a solution, he wish there wasn't one.

Three evenings later you are sleeping in his bed again, two weeks later you snuggle up in his arms before you go to sleep and in the morning you kiss his cheek before you set off to see your dragon. Cregan can hardly believe his luck. You open up a little more every day, now you reach for his hand yourself, brush strands of hair from his face, kiss his cheek, lean into his embrace.

But suddenly you start to close yourself off again. It started with you not waiting for him in his chambers one evening, you send a servant to excuse you for that night. He thought you might be sick. But you don't come the next day either, he doesn't see you all day. In the morning he sees Silverwing flying over Winterfell towards the south, the sun is already hanging low on the horizon in the evening when the dragon lands again in front of the castle gates. Cregan feels like you're slipping away from him again. His heart aches at the thought. Did he do something wrong? Was he rude to you without realizing it? Was the longed-for closeness you built up just in his head?

Neverless Cregan was able, or rather you were able, to settle the arguments between the Lords a little. From your place at the high table, you reminded them in a gentel voice that everyone only wanted the best for the North and how wonderful it is that the Northern Lords were fighting the winter together. A little lie that you told, a smile and even Lord Bolton's tense features softened. It's a step in the right direction.

You hardly give him a smile anymore. Cregan doesn't know what's wrong. He is frustrated and sad. In his mind he goes through every moment, looking to see if he has done something wrong. He doesn´t find an answer.

His steps lead him through the corridors of Winterfell, he wants to go to Rickon. Because of all the work and his spiraling thoughts about you, he hasn't visited his son much in the last few days.

He hears laughter from the nursery, recognizes Lady Selina and Lady Aly's voices. Without knocking, he opens the door. The two ladies flinch at their place in front of the fireplace, the conversation falls silent. They both jump up, curtsy briefly and greet him with a "My Lord Stark." Both Ladys exchange a nervous look, Creggan's stomach tightens. He has the feeling that something is wrong but he doesn´t know what it is.

"Papa." Rickon jumps up from the carpet, his toy dragon falls to the floor and he runs to him. Cregan bends down to his son and takes him in his arms.

"Leave us alone," he dismisses the ladies. He wants to spend a little time with his son, show him that he is important to him despite all the stress. Rickon should never think that his father doesn't love him. Alys and Selina leave the nursery. Cregan puts Rickon down again and sits down on the floor next to him. Rickon immediately has his toy figures in his hand again.

"Are you coming to play?" he asks and holds out the dragon figure to him, big eyes sparkle at him and a radiant smile is on his lips.

"Yes." Cregan answers and takes the dragon, it looks small in his hand.

"That's my favorite toy."

"Not the knight anymore?" Cregan laughs quietly.

"No, no." says Rickon in a serious voice, as if it were the most important thing in the world. "The dragon. It was a gift from my princess."

Now Cregan can't hold back his laughter. "Your princess?"

"Yes." Rickon nods.

"You mean my wife, my dear. You really like her a lot, don't you?"

"Yes, I like her a lot." suddenly his eyes turn sad and he rips the toy out of his father's hand, pressing it to his chest. Cregan frowns, wants to scold Rickon, but he is already speaking again. "But she doesn't like me anymore." his voice trembles. Cregan has to swallow at the sight, puts a hand on his son's shoulder.

"Why do you think that? She likes you a lot."

"But why doesn't she play with me anymore? She hardly ever comes to visit me. Only when the teacher is there. She doesn't want to play with me at all, she just wants to supervise my lessons." he sounds defiant, as only children can, and Cregan has to sigh. He doesn´t have a answer for his son.

Why are you behaving like this? You wanted to take care of him and you enjoyed it. You often told him how much you enjoyed spending time with his son, what a good boy he is. That you love him like he is your son. Cregan has a bad feeling. He knows that something is wrong, even if he can't quite put his finger on it.

The door opens and you step uncertainly into the room, your gaze wanders around the room and then stops at Cregan and Rickon. A radiant smile appears on your face.

"My Lord husband." you say and nod slightly. Cregan is glad that you have finally stopped curtsying to him. "I didn't know you were here." Is he imagining it or do you sound relieved? Cregan doesn't know how to react to you now. Lately you have been acting absent and distant, shy like at the beginning. At other times you grab his hand, lean on his arm or smile at him with sparkling eyes when he speaks. He can't figure you out. "Can I sit with you?" you whisper, tearing him out of his thoughts. He nods and you sink down onto the carpet next to him and Rickon. His son immediately demands your attention, happy that you want to spend time with him.

It takes a few moments, but then Cregan lets himself be lulled by the warm, happy atmosphere. In these moments he completely forgets the thought of you withdrawing from him again. The time with his family is good for him, that is exactly what he always wanted. A happy family, safe behind the walls of Winterfell.

However his little bubble of family happiness bursts just a few hours later when Lady Darcy enters.

"My Lord Stark." she curtsies to him. "I'm here to pick up Rickon for his bath."

"No, I don't want to!" Rickon calls out. A single stern look from Cregan is enough to silence him. He stands up and takes a few steps towards Darcy. "Can my princess take me to my bath?" he asks quietly. Darcy rolls his eyes, looks at you, just like Cregan. You look at Dracy and then shake your head.

"Go with Lady Darcy." you say quietly, is your voice shaking? Rickon doesn't contradict and follows the nursemaid out of the room. Cregan turns to you with a smile, maybe you two can finally spend a little time toghether again, but you don't meet his gaze. When he reaches for your hand, you pull it away and jump up.

"Excuse me." your voice is quiet and you storm out of the room. Were those tears in your eyes? Cregan shakes his head, no, that can't be. The light was probably just reflected. He sighs and tries to fight down his anger and hurt because of your rejection.

He paces back and forth in his chambers. You haven't shown up for your evening meeting again. What's keeping you away? He just has to talk to you, he wants to find out what is bothering you. Did he make a mistake? Worry spreads through him and he sets off to look for you. His steps quickly lead him up the many stairs to Lady Stark's chambers.

Your chambers lie deserted before him. Cregans heart sinks. Where are you? It's almost midnight. You should be here. Did something happen to you? He is looking around your chambers. The chambers of Lady Stark are traditionally located at the top of the North Tower. They are the warmest chambers in the castle. Perfect for a dragon like you. Sweat beads on Cregan's forehead, yet he searches the chambers for a clue.

He feels guilty about looking at your private things, but he has no choice. Maybe you are in danger. Nothing seems unusual. To be honest, he can't be sure, he is hardly ever in your chambers. It is your private area, but it seems as if you only have a few things here. That surprises Cregan a little.

He goes to your desk, it is covered with papers, scrolls and letters. He knows that you write a lot to your family, and that you receive a letter from at least one of your family members almost every week. Only your father doesn't write to you, you told him that.

His gaze flicks over the first line of the letter you had started.

Mother, please. It's so terrible here.

He reads the first words and his heart aches painfully. Is it his fault? Do you hate him?

My husband Cregan is everything I could wish for, kind, tender, and warm; he has such a big heart. I love him. But the problem are the maids of the late Lady Stak. I wrote to you that it doesn't seem like they like me. But now it's getting worse.

I tried to take care of Rickon. Just like you always took care of Baela, Rhena, and me. He is such a sweet boy. But the Ladies are so terribly mean. I know they were Lady Norrey's friends, but I don't understand how they can be so horrible. What did I do wrong? I don't understand how I could have upset them so much that they hate me.

They say terrible things to me, I don't want to repeat them. Even bad things about our family. The insults hurt so much. The worst thing is when they laugh at me. I feel so stupid when they do that.

I don't want Rickon to find out about this, so I stay away from him. It breaks my heart. I'm afraid to talk to Cregan. I don't want them to lose their last connection to Lady Arra.

Please, I can't take it anymore. I want to go home. Please let me come home.

On the pages, there are small dark spots where your tears have dripped onto the paper and smudged the ink.

Why didn't you tell him anything? Guilt overcomes him. He should have known, he should have noticed something.

Hot anger towards the Ladies rises within him. He would love to have them all executed.

A growl catches his attention. With two steps, he is at the window. The full moon illuminates the night outside, the snow reflects the light. He sees a slender figure walking across the fields outside the Keep. Silverswing's massive body rises from the snow as you run towards your dragon.

Cregan whirls around and sprints down the stairs. Fear and worry burn in his heart. He pushes the door outward a little too hard. The wood creaks as it slams against the stone walls. Every breath burns in his lungs as he inhales the cold air. Nevertheless, his steps do not slow down.

Silverwing whirls her head around before you notice him. At the sudden movement, you slip and one of the bags you were just about to attach to the saddle falls from your hand. A few of your clothes fall into the snow. Cregan realizes that you really were about to run away. Run away from him. His heart hurts by this thought. The next moment he remembers himself that you are not running away because of him.

He calls your name. You whirl around, your look like a startled deer.

"Cregan." you whisper. He recognizes tears in your eyes, tear stains on your cheeks, your eyes are slightly red

"What are you doing?" he asks, while he tries to catch his breath. Cregan tries to let his voice sound as soft as possible, you already look like you will faint for fear every moment.

"I wanted to visit Silverwing," you lie, your hands cramps around the leather of the saddle. Silverwing lets out a growl. Cregan needs all his strength not to jump back in fright.

"Please come down." he almost begs, he stands much too close to the dragon for his liking. Silverwing is very gentle. You once told him that. Nevertheless, the hundred-year-old monster can swallow him in one gulp.

You hesitate. "Go back inside," you say then, but you don't look at him.

"No." his voice is firm now. "Either you come down voluntarily or I'll come up and get you." it's not a bluff, if he has to he'll climb on that dragon to get you down. Even if Silverwing will probably tear him into pieces before he even gets close to you.

Silverwing stretches out her wing, the claws on her forefoot digging into the snow just a few steps in front of him. Is that a threat? You look at your dragon, then swing to the side and slide down the wing. Without thinking, Cregan moves closer and catches you. You wrap your arms around him and he pulls you closer to him. Warm tears drip onto the skin at the crook of his neck. You sob, take a breath and try to say something, but only another desperate sound comes from your throat.

"I found your letter to the Queen." he admits. You tense up, wanting to pull away from him, but Cregan holds you tight. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't want you to be angry."

Oh he is angry, but not at you. He would love to cut off the ladies' heads, but women are not executed in the North. The North is still a place of honor.

Now he lets go of you, pushes away slightly to look you in the face. He carefully wipes the tears from your cheek. You lean into his touch, sighs quietly and closes your eyes. Cregan leans forward and kisses your forehead.

"What did they say to you?" he then whispers.

You swallow, open your eyes before you start to speak. "At first it was just little taunts. But over time it got worse and worse. They said I would ruin the North, that many people would die next winter because of my stupidity." the tears come back to you eyes and you have to sob. Cregan pulls you into his arms again, strokes your hair as you bury your face in his chest.

"Those are lies. You did nothing wrong. On the contrary, you are a great Lady Stark."

"But that wasn't even the worst part. They also said that I am not good enough for you. That you only put up with me because you were forced to marry me. They said that you will never love me and that there is only room in your heart for Lady Arra, that she is your first and only love and I am just an intruder."

Cregan's heart breaks, he knows that you took the Nursemaids at their word. Again he pushes you away, carefully puts his hand under your chin and forces you to look at him.

"Those are lies too. Yes, I loved Arra. But that doesn't mean that I can't love you. You are not an intruder. I want you here with me."

Tears well up in your eyes again. "What about the Ladies?" you ask quietly, but keep eye contact.

"I will throw all three of them out first thing tomorrow morning. Let the Others get them, I don't care. Maybe Silverwing wants a little snack."

The dragon lowers its head to you, looks at Cregan as if she agrees.

"Rickon needs them."

"No. Rickon only needs me and you, his family." Cregan insists. His son will cope with the loss, he is sure of that.

"I would like to be your family."

Cregan has to smile at your words. "I love you, sweet wife." he whispers. Your lips open slightly as you look at him in surprise. Then you stand on your tiptoes and kiss him gently. His heart almost burst, butterflies explode in his stomach and despite the cold night he feels warm.

You sink back on your feet, your cheeks are red, but you smile. Silverwing blows hot air from her nostrils towards Cregan, he flinches back and you giggle.

"That means she likes you."

"And what about you? Do you like me too?" he asks, his lips twisting into a grin.

"I thought you read my letter to Rhaenyra." you say, also grinning."

Please say it anyway."

"I love you, my sweet husband." Cregan leans down and seals your lips with a kiss.

[cybrasigilism]

NSFW ALPHABET with Player 333 (Lee Myung-gi)

warnings: smut and all things of the like, you know the drill! | not proofread | lowercase intended | these are my headcanons for this character, please be respectful even if my opinions for the character differ from your own

character: lee myung-gi (player 333)

A/N: my notifications have spoken, and i really wanted to write another NSFW alphabet so it works out perfectly, i apologize for the missing letters but i genuinely couldn’t think of anything for him relating to them, so for now they’re absent! i think people need to go a little easier on player 333 especially since all the players in squid game are far from perfect! like yes he’s a pathetic little loser but he’s our pathetic little loser. anyways, hope you guys enjoy!

MDNI! 18+ content under the cut, readers discretion is advised

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A= Aftercare what they’re like after sex

↳ he’s no god at aftercare, but he’ll definitely talk with you about the experience or even just anything you want afterwards. he does enjoy a good cuddle, especially if its following a particularly possessive round of fucking

B= Body part their favourite body part of theirs and of their partner’s

↳ for himself, he really likes his eyes, mainly because it was the first thing you complimented him on. and for his partner? he’ll come right out and say it, he loves your tits

C= Cum anything to do with cum, basically

↳ really into cum eating, not gonna elaborate

D= Dirty secret a dirty secret of theirs

↳ cries during sex, particularly after being overstimulated

E= Experience how much experience do they have? do they know what their doing?

↳ he’s only slept with 1 or 2 people before you, and your first time together he definitely did need some guidance but neither of you minded really. he likes when you tell him how to please you

F= Favourite Position this one speaks for itself

↳ because he’s totally possessive of you, any position that he can be in charge is one that myung-gi can get behind. really likes when he can put your legs over his shoulders, or when he can hold your thighs apart in a straddle as he fucks into you. trust that he’s going all the way in

I= Intimacy how are they in the moment, the romantic aspect?

↳ he definitely strikes me as the type who would lowkey be awkward about intimacy at first, but when you guys get into it and he gets more comfortable i really do feel like he gets super affectionate with you in bed

J= Jack off masturbation headcanons

↳ don’t ask, but he 100% uses audio porn to get off

K= Kink one or more of their kinks

↳ possessive sex, spanking, choking (esp if he’s the one being choked), dacryphilia

L= Location their favourite place to do the do

↳ dk if this counts as a location but he’d be down for mirror sex

M= Motivation what turns them on? what gets them going?

↳ lowkey getting jealous turns him on. if he feels like he’s gotta prove that you’re “his” to another person, he’ll be fighting off a killer boner

N= No something they won’t do

↳ threesomes, again with the possessiveness, that would really stop him from keeping his cool at the idea of having to “share”

O= Oral their preference on giving or receiving, how skilled are they etc.

↳ he prefers to get head; absolutely drives him insane when you gag on his cock and when you look up at him with mascara running down your face

P= Pace are they fast and rough? slow and sensual?

↳ if he’s feeling more intimate, expect a slow, gentle + sensual pace. its completely different when he’s feeling jealous, he’ll be merciless as he pounds into you

Q= Quickie their opinions on quickies

↳ um, yes he would love a quickie, what a question.

S= Stamina how many rounds can they go for? how long can they last?

↳ his stamina really fluctuates, but not in the way you’re expecting. he can actually go a bit longer after each orgasm, but only for a few rounds. expect him to cum within 3 minutes of the first round

T= Toys do they have toys? do they use them on themselves? on their partner?

↳ dude’s totally a freak, he’s got quite a few toys that he can use on his partner, the most notable being a paddle (gee, i didnt know we were canoeing), and of course he’s got a fleshlight for himself

U= Unfair how much they like being teased

↳ he acts like he hates it when you tease him, but in actuality it gets him really horny

V= Volume how loud are they? what sounds do they make?

↳ he gets pretty vocal, especially when getting head or when he’s feeling jealous. will often refer to you as being his, and how “no one else can make you feel as good as this, you’re mine.”

W= Wildcard a random headcanon for them

↳ lowkey has a daddy thing

X= X-ray what’s going on under those clothes?

↳ he’s got a pretty slim build. for size he’s fairly decent, around 5 1/2 - 6” when hard

Y= Yearning how high is their sex drive?

↳ don’t kid yourself, he’s got a pretty wicked sex drive. maybe it’s all that jealousy 🤔

Z= Zzz how quickly do they fall asleep after?

↳ at the end of the day, it all depends on how tired he is afterwards, but if he sees that you’re still awake he’ll try to stay up for you

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thanks so much for reading! as always, any advice or constructive criticism on how i can improve my writing is appreciated and requested! have a beautiful day/night :)

tags: @agornotsworld @kvstjwonnie @marymustdie

[rorysburrow]

The Perfect Surprise

Pairings ➼ Joe Burrow x reader

Summary ➼ Joe and the kids putting together the most perfect gift for you for Mothers Day.

Word Count ➼ 1,330

Warnings ➼ pure fluff

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It was early Saturday morning, and the Burrow household was still quiet, except for the soft rustling of sheets and the faint sound of Ava’s voice as she whispered to Hudson. They were sitting cross-legged on the floor in their playroom, surrounded by a pile of colorful construction paper, markers, and glitter pens.

“Shh, we have to keep it a secret,” Ava whispered, glancing over her shoulder toward the kitchen where Joe was making breakfast. “We’re going to surprise Mom for Mother’s Day.”

Hudson’s eyes were wide with excitement as he held up a glittery card he was working on. “Look, Ava! I made a sparkly heart. She’ll love it!”

Ava nodded, giving her little brother an approving look. “Perfect! Now, we just need to figure out what else we can do.”

Down the hallway, Joe was flipping pancakes in the kitchen, trying not to make too much noise. He was in on the secret—he always was—but he was happy to let the kids take the lead when it came to planning surprises.

“Alright, team,” Joe called out as he placed a stack of pancakes on the kitchen table. “How are we doing on the Mother’s Day gift?”

Ava and Hudson scampered into the kitchen, their faces full of mischief. “We’re almost done, Daddy!” Ava said. “We’re going to make her a card, and then we’ll pick something special from the store.”

Joe raised an eyebrow. “A card? I thought we were buying a gift from the store.”

Ava and Hudson exchanged a quick glance before Hudson bounced up and down, “We’ll get a gift too! But we want to make her something from the heart.”

Joe smiled. “I love that idea. Let’s make it a good one, then.” He poured some juice into cups and passed them to the kids, who took their seats at the table.

After breakfast, Joe loaded the kids into the car, and they headed to a local boutique that you loved to visit. It was a small, cozy store filled with beautiful, handmade jewelry, candles, and unique home décor. As soon as they walked in, Ava’s eyes sparkled.

“Ooh! Look at all this stuff!” she exclaimed.

Hudson ran ahead and stopped in front of a small stand covered with delicate, colorful candles. “Mama loves candles!” he said, picking up a lavender-scented one. “We should get this one!”

Joe nodded. “Lavender is her favorite scent. Good choice, Hudson.”

But as Ava wandered further into the shop, she found something even better—a small potted plant with soft green leaves and delicate pink flowers. She carefully picked it up and brought it to Joe.

“Look, Dad! I think Mommy would love this. It’s like a little piece of nature that she can keep inside.”

Joe’s heart warmed at the sight of his daughter holding the plant. “That’s beautiful, Ava. It’s perfect.”

They added the plant to their collection, but Ava wasn’t done yet. “We need something that says ‘I love you, Mom,’” she said thoughtfully, scanning the shelves.

After a moment, Hudson tugged on Joe’s hand and led him to a display of hand-painted wooden signs. One in particular caught his eye: it was a sign with the words “Home is Where Mom Is” painted in soft, welcoming letters.

“That’s it,” Joe said, smiling. “Mama always says that doesn't she. Home is where we’re all together, and she makes this house feel like a home.”

The family headed to the counter with their carefully chosen gifts: the lavender candle, the potted plant, and the wooden sign. The kids helped Joe wrap everything in colorful paper, adding extra touches of glitter and ribbon to make it extra special. Joe could tell they were bursting with excitement as they finished.

When they got home, the kids were eager to put their plan into action. They hid the gifts in the living room, and then they sat down at the kitchen table to write their final touch—a heartfelt card. Ava carefully wrote out the words she wanted to say, and Hudson, with a little help from Joe, scribbled his love with a crayon.

As the sun began to set, You walked in through the front door, tired but happy after a busy day at work you hated that you couldn't spend the day with your babies. Your eyes immediately lit up when she saw the three of them sitting there, grinning from ear to ear.

“What’s all this?” you asked, smiling.

Ava jumped up, holding out the sparkly card she had made. “Happy Mother’s Day, Mommy! We love you so much!”

Hudson added, “I made you a card too, Mommy!” and handed you the drawing he had worked on.

you knelt down and hugged them both tightly. “Thank you, my sweethearts,” she said, your voice filled with emotion. Then, Joe led you over to the coffee table, where the wrapped gifts awaited.

your eyes widened as you unwrapped the lavender candle, the potted plant, and the wooden sign. You placed the plant on the kitchen counter, the candle on the mantle, and held the wooden sign close to her chest. “This is perfect, you guys. I love everything!”

Joe kissed you on the cheek and smiled. “It’s all from the heart. You make this family complete, mama. We’re so lucky to have you.”

The kids hugged you once more. “We love you, Mommy,” Ava said.

“We love you lots!” Hudson added, giggling.

As you all gathered around the table to enjoy a homemade dinner, the Burrow family shared more laughter, love, and memories—proof that sometimes the best gifts don’t come from the store but from the heart.

After dinner, the room was filled with smiles, hugs, and the soft hum of contentment. But there was still one more surprise in store.

As the family settled into the living room with mugs of hot cocoa, Hudson crawled onto your lap, his small hands holding something behind his back. He had been so proud of his creation earlier in the day—his secret project—and now was the perfect time to reveal it.

“What’s this, bubba?” you asked, raising an eyebrow as Hudson's eyes sparkled mischievously.

With a grin that stretched from ear to ear, Hudson pulled out a small, crumpled piece of paper. It was his Mother’s Day gift—a hand-drawn picture of you and him, with hearts surrounding and the words "Best Mommy Ever" written in bright, colorful letters. Though it was a bit rough around the edges, the love in the drawing was undeniable.

you gasped in delight and held it up to the light. “Oh, bubba, this is beautiful! You made this for me?”

Hudson nodded vigorously. “I did it all by myself, Mommy! Just for you!”

“Thank you, baby,” you whispered, pressing a kiss to his forehead. you placed the drawing next to the other gifts on the mantle, already a cherished keepsake.

Joe watched the whole exchange, his heart swelling. “Looks like you’ve got two artists in the making,” he said with a wink.

You smiled warmly at Joe. “I'm the luckiest mommy ever. Thank you so much my babies.” She placed a hand on Hudson’s head, then turned to Ava and Joe. “You all make every day feel like a celebration.”

As everybody settled into their evening, the soft glow of the lavender candle filled the room with a peaceful fragrance. The small plant sat in the corner, a symbol of growth and life in their home. And the wooden sign, “Home is Where Mom Is,” stood proudly on the mantle, a reminder that, no matter where life took your little family, you had everything you needed right here—with each other.

In that quiet moment, surrounded by laughter and love, Joe knew that the perfect gift wasn’t anything they had bought or wrapped up. It was this—being together, creating memories, and showing how deeply they cared.

Mother’s Day, after all, wasn’t just about giving gifts. It was about honoring the heart and soul of their family.Which was you.

[gothicxreylover]

Can you do a Yandere male hashiras coming home and meeting their s/o distraught and crying cause they thought they were dead. Maybe they were gone for 4 or 7 months.

╭──────༺♡༻──────╮

Hope you enjoy this! Thank you for your request! As you can tell I’m running out of gifs for these characters lol. I didn’t do Muichiro as I didn’t know what to write for him. And no headcanons for Obanai I only had motivation to do a small story.

╰──────༺♡༻──────╯

જ⁀➴ Sanemi Shinazugawa

Sanemi storms into your home just before nightfall, his haori tattered, his arms and legs covered in bandages. His survival is a miracle, but he doesn’t consider how his prolonged absence has affected you. He barely has time to set down his sword before he hears your choked sobs. Following the sound, he freezes when he sees you sitting on the floor, your face buried in your hands.

When you lift your head, your red, swollen eyes meet his. “Sanemi… is it really you?” you whisper, your voice trembling with disbelief. He doesn’t answer at first. He’s too overwhelmed by the sight of you like this—frail, broken, crying because of him.

“You’re such a damn idiot,” he growls, though the anger in his voice is directed at himself. He strides forward and pulls you to your feet, his grip firm but not unkind. “What the hell made you think I’d leave you like that? You think I’d let myself die knowing you’re waiting here for me?”

Your tears don’t stop, and neither does his frantic need to reassure you. Sanemi holds you close, pressing his lips to your forehead. “You’re mine, and nothing in this world can take me away from you.” His voice shakes, his usual harshness softened by a vulnerability he rarely shows.

Headcanons:

• Sanemi becomes obsessive about keeping you informed when he’s on missions. If he’s going to be late returning, he’ll send messages through crow, no matter how inconvenient it is.

• He becomes hyper-vigilant about your safety, rarely letting you leave the house without him.

• His possessiveness worsens after this, and he gets irritated when others try to console you. Only he can comfort you properly.

જ⁀➴ Giyuu Tomioka

Giyuu enters silently, as is his nature, his footsteps almost imperceptible. When he sees you trembling on the floor, clutching one of his old haoris like a lifeline, his chest tightens painfully. “You’re back,” you gasp when you notice him, stumbling to your feet and throwing yourself into his arms.

Giyuu stiffens at first, not out of reluctance but because of how deeply your pain affects him. “I thought you were gone,” you sob against his chest. “I thought I’d never see you again.”

His arms wrap around you slowly, his hold growing firmer with each passing second. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs, his voice barely audible. “I didn’t mean to make you think that.” His guilt is overwhelming. He didn’t realize how much his absence would hurt you, but now that he sees the aftermath, he swears he’ll never put you through it again.

“I’ll never leave you,” he says, his tone as unyielding as steel. He cradles your face in his hands, his eyes filled with an intensity that borders on obsession. “You’re all I have, and I won’t let anything take me from you.”

Headcanons:

• Giyuu starts writing you letters during long missions, even if he doesn’t know how to express his feelings well.

• He insists on you staying close to home, where he knows you’re safe. If you have to leave, he’ll silently follow you from the shadows.

• He becomes clingier in subtle ways, often lingering around you without saying much but refusing to leave your side.

જ⁀➴ Kyojuro Rengoku

The sound of your crying reaches Kyojuro before he even steps inside. His heart, usually blazing with confidence, falters for a moment. When he enters the room and sees you kneeling by the hearth, your face buried in your hands, he rushes to your side without hesitation.

“My love, what’s wrong?” he asks, though the answer becomes clear when you lift your tear-streaked face. “I thought I lost you, Kyojuro. Seven months… no word… I thought you were dead!”

His eyes widen, and for a moment, he’s silent. Then, he pulls you into a fierce embrace, his strong arms enveloping you entirely. “I am so sorry,” he whispers, his usually booming voice trembling. “I didn’t realize how much my absence would hurt you.”

Kyojuro tilts your chin up to meet his gaze, his fiery eyes burning with a mix of guilt and determination. “I am alive, and I will always come back to you. You are the flame that keeps me going.” His voice is full of conviction, a promise etched in every word.

Headcanons:

• Kyojuro starts planning shorter missions or taking you along to nearby towns when possible.

• He showers you with small tokens of affection, from flowers to handmade charms, to remind you of him when he’s away.

• His protective streak intensifies, and he begins training you in basic self-defense, even if you protest.

જ⁀➴ Gyomei Himejima

Gyomei hears your quiet sobs as soon as he steps onto the porch. His sensitive hearing and heightened senses pick up every tremble in your voice, and it stops him in his tracks. “(Y/N)?” he calls softly, his deep voice filled with concern.

You look up from where you’ve been kneeling, clutching a prayer bead bracelet he once gave you. When you see his towering figure in the doorway, your breath catches, and fresh tears spill down your cheeks. “You’re alive…”

Gyomei kneels before you, his large hands cupping your face with the utmost gentleness. “Why are you crying, my love?” he asks, though the answer dawns on him as he feels your trembling hands grasp his.

“I thought you were gone,” you whisper, your voice cracking. “I thought I’d lost you forever.”

His own eyes glisten with unshed tears as he pulls you into his arms, holding you as if you’re the most precious thing in the world. “I am here,” he says, his voice steady but filled with emotion. “I am alive, and I will always return to you. You are my reason to fight, to survive.”

Headcanons:

• Gyomei begins praying with you every morning and night, offering thanks for your safety and his ability to return to you.

• He becomes even more attentive, often carrying you to bed when you fall asleep in his arms, whispering reassurances.

• He starts wearing charms or tokens you give him, seeing them as symbols of your bond and a source of strength.

જ⁀➴ Tengen Uzui

Tengen bursts through the door, expecting you to greet him with relief and joy, but the sight of you sitting on the floor, tear-streaked and shaking, halts him. “What’s this?” he asks, dropping his flashy façade immediately as he kneels beside you.

“Tengen…” You look at him as though you’re seeing a ghost. “I thought you were dead. Seven months… I thought you weren’t coming back.”

His jaw tightens, and his normally flamboyant expression turns serious. “Do you really think something as unflashy as death could stop me from coming back to you?” he says, his voice lower than usual. He pulls you into his lap, his hands resting on your back as he lets you cry against his chest.

“You mean everything to me,” he says, his tone uncharacteristically soft. “I’ll never let you feel this way again. I’ll find a way to stay connected to you, no matter what it takes.”

Headcanons:

• Tengen insists on keeping you in the loop about his missions, even if it means bending Demon Slayer Corps protocols.

• He becomes more physically affectionate, constantly touching your hand, shoulder, or face as if to reassure himself you’re still there.

• His yandere tendencies manifest in controlling who you interact with, believing only he can truly protect and care for you.

This detailed portrayal highlights each Hashira’s unique reaction to their s/o’s emotional breakdown, showcasing their yandere tendencies in ways that fit their personalities. Each is overwhelmed by guilt but uses that guilt to fuel their determination to never let you feel that kind of despair again.

જ⁀➴ Obanai Iguro

Obanai stepped into the house just as the sun dipped below the horizon, the faint golden glow of dusk casting long shadows across the walls. His footsteps were light and deliberate, but the heaviness in his chest made every step feel like a mountain to climb. Months of hunting down demons, with barely enough time to sleep or recover, had left him drained. Yet, none of that prepared him for what awaited him inside.

The sound of muffled sobbing pierced his senses like a blade. His body went rigid, Kaburamaru tightening slightly around his shoulders as his mismatched eyes flicked toward the sound. He followed it, his pulse quickening with each step.

When he reached the main room, he stopped dead in his tracks. You were kneeling on the floor, clutching one of his discarded haoris to your chest. Your body shook with silent sobs, your face hidden behind trembling hands.

For a moment, Obanai couldn’t move. Seeing you so vulnerable, so broken, stirred something deep within him. Guilt? Pain? Anger? He didn’t know what it was, but the sight of your tears ignited a fierce need to claim you, to ensure no one else would ever make you feel this way—not even the world itself.

“(Y/N),” he finally said, his voice low but steady.

Your sobs stopped abruptly, and you froze, your hands lowering slightly to reveal your tear-streaked face. When your eyes met his, disbelief flooded your expression. “Obanai?” you whispered, your voice cracking. “You’re… you’re alive?”

He tilted his head slightly, Kaburamaru shifting in response to his unease. “Why wouldn’t I be?” His tone was calm, but the undercurrent of possessiveness was unmistakable.

The dam broke, and you stumbled to your feet, throwing yourself into his arms. “I thought… I thought you were dead! Seven months… no word… I thought I lost you!”

Obanai stiffened for a moment before his arms came up to wrap around you. His grip was firm, almost desperate, as if he feared you might vanish if he let go. “I’m here,” he murmured, his lips brushing against your temple. “I would never leave you like that. Never.”

Your hands clung to his uniform, your body trembling against his. “You don’t understand,” you sobbed. “I waited every day, praying you’d come back. When the weeks turned into months, I thought… I thought I’d never see you again.”

His jaw tightened, the words cutting deeper than any wound. The thought of you suffering, believing he was gone, stirred a dark possessiveness within him. He cupped your face, forcing you to look at him, his mismatched eyes blazing with an intensity that made your breath hitch.

“You’re mine,” he said, his voice low and unyielding. “Nothing—no demon, no mission, no god—can take me from you. Do you understand?”

Your tears didn’t stop, but you nodded, overwhelmed by the raw emotion in his gaze. He pressed his forehead to yours, his grip on you tightening. “I’ll never let you feel this way again. Never. I swear it.”

The promise wasn’t just for you—it was for him, a vow that no force in the world would ever separate you again.

[wordbunch]

their love language [LOTR characters]

a/n: not requested, just a little idea that i've had and wanted to share 💛 do let me know how you liked it, what you think, and i always greatly appreciate reblogs and comments 🥰 i wish you a sparkling new year!

ARAGORN ��� acts of service and words of affirmation

This man would do anything for the person he loves and he is the most comfortable when it comes to expressing his feelings in that way. Any type of physical labor and tasks is no issue for him if he can make it easier for you, and you have grown to notice it all the time and appreciate it. His heart doubles in size when you return your affections in that way too, especially since he isn’t exactly used to having things done for him. When the mood is just right, he has no trouble waxing poetic about you and elaborating his feelings, whether in Westron, Sindarin or any other language - you are worth all of them! When he does that, it’s usually in a hushed tone with a special air of intimacy, and it feels so sacred and special.

BOROMIR ♡ physical touch and quality time 

He is one tactile man and a human furnace, like, constantly, and having an arm around you simultaneously means keeping you safe as well. It’s a way for him to show his love, but also to be his protective self. However it’s not just you he’s trying to reassure through gentle touches, he also feels better and happier knowing you’re there and so close. Due to his position, he has many obligations and not always the desired amount of free time, so he’s keen on spending all on it on you. Boromir feels immensely guilty if he must cancel something last minute, or be late for a meeting with you because he was held up somewhere else, but you can count on the fact that he’ll make it up to you tenfold.

FARAMIR ♡ words of affirmation and quality time

As a person who is well-read and a romantic soul, yet someone who hadn’t particularly received many verbal validations, his absolute go-to are words of affirmation! He will shower you with sincere compliments, praise your achievements, reassure you when you’re down… he will even write poetry for you, or just recite something on the spot, it’s honestly the sweetest. Much like his brother, Faramir can be quite busy, but he tries to make sure that none of his duties interfere with the time that he sets aside to spend with his beloved. 

LEGOLAS ♡ gift giving and words of affirmation

This peculiar young prince doesn’t necessarily have a favorite way of showing you love and he can be all over the place with it - he hadn’t exactly had a bunch of experience with romantic relationships - but something that seems to be a constant is him giving you small tokens of his affections. Not even something fancy all the time, sometimes it will be a pretty flower or a hair pin, but everything pretty reminds him of your beauty and he wants you to know that. If he’s unsure about how to verbally explain all the ways you make him feel, he can always revert to one of many elven songs and poems to describe it!

FRODO ♡ words of affirmation and acts of service

He is a book boy and absolutely the type of person to write long, heartfelt letters! Initially he would hide behind them because it’s easier to write feelings down and slip that under your front door, but just give him time and soon enough he’ll be raving about how in love he is with you and how you’re the best of the best in his eyes - but face to face. Frodo is very selfless as we all know, and he’s able to anticipate your needs and help you with all sorts of things before you even ask for it. Also he really appreciates your gratefulness for it.

SAM ♡ acts of service and quality time

Acts of service is the ultimate love language of this sweet gardener!! He would do absolutely anything for you, strenuous or not, and not even expect anything in return. You’re aware of that and thus you make sure to properly thank him for everything he does in more ways than one. You always joke that he’s going to spoil you. Sam loves just existing with you, not even doing anything particularly significant, but just spending time together no matter what you do. Everything with you feels like home and he never wants to leave your side.

MERRY ♡ gift giving and physical touch

He definitely has a mix of all love languages, but surprising you with small tokens of affection and seeing your eyes sparkle in surprise is just his favorite thing! He notices and memorizes when you like something, and he will use the first opportunity to acquire it for you and make you happy. Besides that, having you physically close to him is a must - Merry is almost constantly fiddling with your fingers, has an arm around your shoulders, or just mindlessly scratching up and down your arm. It’s a simple reminder that you’re there, safe and loved.

PIPPIN ♡ physical touch and words of affirmation

Those are his favorite ways of both receiving and giving love: they’re so straightforward and genuine (and he is least likely to mess up). Everything seems better and brighter when your hand is securely clasped in his, or he receives a forehead kiss, or ruffles your hair and playfully nudges you. Pippin isn’t quite used to compliments and his cheeks will heat up every single time you offer him a genuine compliment or encouragement, and he wants to make you feel the same way - he can talk a lot anyway so, might as well talk about how wonderful you are!

ÉOMER ♡ acts of service and physical touch

Maybe he isn’t the best at romantic proclamations of love, or picking out the perfect anniversary present, but whatever you need him for, he will be there in a heartbeat. Secretly he likes to feel your eyes on him as he does something for you, it makes him feel very proud. Another thing that never fails him is physical affection, because sometimes hands and lips say more than words ever could. And he makes sure that you can feel exactly how passionate and loving he is in every single kiss and caress.

ÉOWYN ♡ quality time and physical touch

She loves her independence and her peace, but letting you in made her realize it’s not too bad having someone occupying her space and thoughts. Éowyn loves to include you in her daily activities and she really grew fond of doing all sorts of mundane things together - you just make them so much more vibrant and interesting. Something that became her weakness as soon as you two met was your gentle touch and affection like no other, especially after long days and during cold nights, and it’s a simple but effective way of showing how much she cares for you.

ARWEN ♡ words of affirmation and gift giving

She is a romantic soul through and through, and she never gets bored of praising you, whether it be for your kindness, beauty, wit, or anything else. She also loves discussing all sorts of topics with you and that’s one of the things that made her fall for you in the first place. Also, this beautiful elf-maiden likes beautiful, dainty things, and she loves making you happy through little surprises and meaningful gifts, especially subtle matching jewelry!

taglist my beloved (probs not even valid anymore but oh well) @starlady66 @queenmeriadoc @entishramblings @thesolarangel @silversword7000 @friendofthefellowshipsnerdblog @averys-place @valkyriepirate @emmaarenstarr @noldorin-painter @asianbutnotjapanese @adamgetawaydriver @fenharel-enaste @ironmandeficiency @starryeyedrogue @dinofromspac3 @wisheduponastar @lady-of-imladris @frodo-cinnamonroll @unethicallypleistocene @deadlymistletoe @suncran @high-sea-husbands @asianbutnoteastasian @aidansloth @moth-makay

@bubbleyukismile @kitexvi @herstudios @babe-bombadil

[ultravjiolencee]

Can i request a fred weasley with maybe a reader from black family that doesn’t really like christmas? thank u so much!! (they’re not relatives and kinda in a relationship)

Weasley Warmth Delivery

a.n! thanks for requesting and sorry if this took me this long, but to be honest i still feel into christmas mood. i tried this new ‘format’ of exchanging letters! mention of my previous work

Dear y/n,

Well, look at that—a letter from Black. To what do I owe this honor? Boredom finally driving you mad in that haunted house of yours? Don’t worry, love, I’ve been expecting it.

Grimmauld Place isn’t exactly the Ministry of Fun, is it? And without me around to liven up the place, well, I’m amazed you lasted this long before reaching out.

First, let me set the scene for you here at the Burrow: total chaos, as usual. Mum’s been running around like a bludger on a sugar high, barking orders about decorating and cleaning things that were perfectly fine before she started. Ginny keeps nicking the fairy lights off the tree to “improve” her room (I think she’s trying to charm them to spell out something rude for Ron), and Percy’s been giving us all his patented look of disapproval. Honestly, I think he was born with that expression.

George and I, naturally, have been hard at work testing a few of our newest products. Let’s just say the garden gnomes had a very eventful morning and leave it at that.

But, enough about the Burrow, it’s too normal compared to what I’m imagining for you. I bet Grimmauld Place is a real barrel of laughs this time of year. Bet you’ve got Kreacher croaking out festive insults like, “Filthy blood traitor scum don’t deserve gingerbread.” Or maybe you’ve charmed those gloomy curtains shut tight so you don’t have to look at your delightful family tree. Is my name still scorched off that thing, by the way? If not, I’ll send George over to fix that. It’s our legacy, after all.

I wish I could say I don’t worry about you being there all by yourself, but you know me—I don’t do lying very well. (Or at all, according to mum. But then again, she doesn’t always appreciate my particular brand of honesty.) You’ve got that whole independent, “I don’t need anyone’s help” thing going on, and I get it. I do. But I can’t help wishing you’d pop over to the Burrow for Christmas. Mum would adore you, I promise. Well, she’d probably scold you for being “too thin” first, but that’s just part of the package deal. Once she’s fed you a month’s worth of food in two days, she’ll be absolutely besotted.

And before you go claiming I’m trying to recruit you to our family, let me clarify: yes, that’s exactly what I’m doing. Because family doesn’t have to be the lot you were born with.

You’ve got us now, whether you like it or not.

Now, enough of this sappy nonsense. You’ll start thinking I’m losing my edge. Let’s talk about important things—like me. Did I mention George and I managed to sneak a prototype of our newest invention past Mum? It’s called the “Crackling Cauldron Cake,” and it’s exactly as dangerous as it sounds. You bite into it, and it pops like a small Firework Charm in your mouth. George claims it’s “too risky for mass production,” but I say he’s lost his Gryffindor nerve. (He was almost a Hufflepuff, you know. Don’t tell him I told you that.)

Oh, and speaking of risky ventures—have you heard from the “adorable” bunch at Hogwarts? Lee says everyone’s still whispering about us switching ties that morning. Apparently, there’s now a theory that we were secretly meeting in the Forbidden Forest for mysterious reasons. Honestly, they’re creative. I’ll give them that. Maybe we should encourage the rumors. Keep them on their toes, you know?

Alright, I should wrap this up before the owl starts biting me again. (Did you train this thing to attack, or is that just a natural Black family trait?) But seriously, don’t be a stranger. Owl me again, even if it’s just to complain about how miserable it is without me around. I’ll write back—promise. And if you’re feeling really brave, you’re always welcome here. I’ll even let you beat me at Wizard’s Chess again, just to keep things festive.

Take care of yourself, alright? And if Grimmauld Place starts feeling too cold, just think of this letter as a little Weasley warmth delivered right to your doorstep.

Yours (because I’ve decided you’re mine to pester now),

Fred

P.S. If you don’t write back soon, I’m sending George over to prank your front door. You’ve been warned ;)

[bullet-prooflove]

5500 Follower Bingo Celebration: Love Letters - Mitch Keller x Reader

Tagging: @kmc1989 @dolphs-darling @watermeezer @queenslandlover-93 @lostinwonderland314

When Mitch was away on the rodeo circuit, he used to write you love letters. They weren’t much, scribbled lyrics, places he’d wanted to take you, how much he was missing you at the time. He would always address them ‘To my sunshine’ before sealing them up in an envelope with a kiss and placing them in the mailbox.

You never wrote back, there was no point, he would already have moved on to the next town by the time you did. Instead you sent him voice notes, snippets of you singing his songs and Mitch he would been on top of the world when he went out into that arena, because the sound of your voice was music to his ears.

Now it’s a decade later and Mitch is sifting through a shoebox filled with memories that had long since been forgotten. The two of you have gotten a little house near The Buck, one with a yard for the dog you’ve been begging him to consider. It’s going to happen, he knows it is, he just likes to pretend you haven’t gotten him wrapped around your little finger.

“I didn’t know you still had these.” Mitch says as he studies the postage stamps.

Mississippi, Nevada, Kansas and many more. He hadn’t realised he’d gotten around so much back in the day.

 Your chin comes to rest on his shoulder as you raise up on tip toes to survey them.

“I used to get them out from time to time when I was missing you.” You confess, your arms wrapping around his waist, holding him close. “I could play those songs in my sleep by the time I got back to Tulsa.”

Hearing that, it does a little something to Mitch. He’s had his troubles over the years, the injury, the drugs, his incarceration, he thought he’d fucked things up for good after that second stint in rehab but the two of you, you were always inevitable, like the sun raising in the east and setting in the west.

“Do you think you could play one for me when we get home?” He asks you, the stubble on his jaw grazing your skin as his cheek comes to rest upon yours. “See if we can still find a little of that magic?”

“That depends.” You tell him, your hands coming to rest on his belt buckle. “Do you still have the hat and chaps?”

A filthy smile crosses his features as he says/

"Why Sunny, I actually think I do."

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[emmebearpaw]

I love coming up with ideas for AUs and even love thinking about writing them. Got an idea for a fake genshin major event, you know, like the big story event of a version, and I want it to be a sequel to Roses and Muskets, where now Inazuma is having a film festival. I don’t have the cast 100% shaken out, but I know the genres for the, get this, not one but Two movies we hear about during the event.

Kaiju. Specifically in the sense that Kaiju are a great way to talk about a cultural anxiety. The thought of this event came from talking with @awellreadmannequin about another idea for a new world boss quest, so the kaiju in this event are both based on world bosses.

To start the event the traveler would get a letter from Xavier saying he’s filming a new movie in tandem with the Kamisato clan in Inazuma for Inazuma’s upcoming cross cultural film festival and he want to know if the traveler would like to help out on set again. He has an actual budget this time, and a full crew and actors and there is no murder investigation on. And I want the film to feature the Maguu Kenki as a representation of the shogunate during the events of the AQ (hereby referred to as the civil war). The Maguu Kenki is a good representation of what I described as the “upending sense of stability” I think occurred during the war, a desperate, forceful attempt to make everything stay still. I don’t know the full cast for this movie but Gorou/Miss Hina should be in it because Xavier thought it relevant to include someone from Watatsumi to play the stand in character represented them and Kokomi is not available to go act in a movie.

while Xavier feels he’s doing a good job at including Watatsumi, however, I think the script should reveal something different. Because the character Gorou/Miss Hina plays is honestly more of a hindrance to the protagonists (who are stand ins for the yashiro backed Narukami based resistance movement or stand ins for the yashiro commission themself), and, really, there is a vibe that if totally not Watatsumi had not been attempting to “politically maneuver” their way to an advantageous end state for peace negotiations and instead just worked as another arm of the Narukami resistance the civil war would have ended way faster. They don’t even seem that instrumental to the resolution. More a noisy, and unruly distraction that does ultimately help the protagonists.

“This seems like a biased retelling of the archon quest”

Yes. It is. For you see, I mentioned at the very beginning that the Kamisato clan themselves are funding this movie. Of course it’s going to paint them in a better light. It would be more subtle in a full movie than in a highlight summary, but, the movie portrays the Yashiro commission as the ultimate good guys.

And with this, Gorou/Miss Hina should get into an argument with Xavier and ultimately walk off the production. Potentially with other people, obviously I need to add some Fontaine characters to this plot but like I said I don’t have a full cast list.

But I think he’s not done with movies, I think Watatsumi island should in turn sponsor a Kaiju movie of their own. This one less about gross abuses of power and the military government of war time Inazuma and more about cultural assimilation. I’m going to be honest what you are about to read is going to be a lot of straight copy pasted from the conversation I had with Claire earlier.

I want the movie to start with a game of chess to represent the war. Like. A whole game of chess. I don’t know how to play chess, and it should be chess and not go.

the kokomi stand in should be playing against the sara stand in and then sara should suddenly be switched to the ayato stand in. watatsumi is playing white and is playing trying to take minimal casualties, trying to protect pawns and knights and other expendable pieces. Narukami's side should seemingly be able to bring out pieces that were already taken down, they have the supplies to field more troops, they don't have to play as cautious with them. When the king is taken the kokomi stand in should be removed from the scene. the camera pans up from the board and they are just not there. they aren't in the movie again. the ayato stand in shakes the air's hand and congratulates nobody on how well they played.

during the game, they should be doing the exposition / negotiations that explain how the new Orobashi ends up on Watatsumi. Because that’s the bulk of the film, in a world where Watatsumi lost the war and entered into a less favorable agreement with the Narukami government, they are given a baby Ruin Serpent as prize for their cooperation. This Ruin Serpent is posed as a new Orobashi, given so that the people know their new government cares about their culture and beliefs. And I think the Orobashi is hungry, and at first watatsumi is also showered with other gifts for accepting their prize (why are they given gifts for that, you may ask), and those gifts make it easy to take care of the Orobashi, but its hungry and it has specific requests and people to take care of it (these people tend to disappear) and slowly, slowly they come to realize that while Watatsumi island is fixed and repaired from the war (at the beginning the island should be shown in ruin), there isn't a single person left on Watatsumi anymore. Which is supposed to represent how physically the people of Watatsumi island may benefit from a merge, culturally they would disappear.

or at least that’s my first draft of the plot. Anyways, traveler and paimon are recruited to work on the new play because they will work for peanuts. Paimon gets to be cameraman and the traveler is constructing/operating the ruin serpent puppet/body suit.

they should take this film to the festival and lose. With audiences stating it lacks action, the end is unsatisfying or they just don’t get it.

Xavier’s film should win the festival.

I have a few more thoughts on this but it’s very late and I can include them in the morning.

[mythicmanuscripts]

I want to overstimulate aegon !

You and me both anon!! You and me both.

I've definitely written about overstimulating Aegon before because I don't think it's possible to write NSFW Aegon without it. Thinking about how obvious it is that Aegon would love that made me think about how most of the castle would be at least a little aware that you dom Aegon and that without you doing that he turns into a little terror no one can handle.

So that's what you'll find below the cut! I hope that's alright with you anon. If you or anyone else wants a more in-depth response about overstim then feel free to request it again and just made sure to add some form of detail about it so that I'm not just rewriting my overstimulating thoughts again. Enjoy!

Before you came along Aegon was definitely known for being willing to fuck and get fucked by just about anyone. He could have single handedly kept king's Landing's brothels open.

Aegon liked you from the moment he met you. Even though it was an arranged marriage and done for political power, he would still much rather have married you than any of the other possible spouses he could have chosen from. You were the only one who seemed to have a sense of humour, the only one who could joke with him and clearly wasnt afraid of him. He loved that from your very first conversation with him.

Once you're married, you and him both know your duties. You and him are to produce a few heirs, enough that there will definitely be someone to take over the iron throne even with a few deaths and then after that you could both sleep with whoever you wanted and you hardly had to even see each other after that.

You were prepared to do that, but you had promised yourself that you would not take it laying down (literally). You refused to allow it to be 10 minutes of boring fucking where you just wait til he's finished and then he leaves. Absolutely not. You were going to get some enjoyment out of this.

Aegon also expects for it to be like that, until you walk into your new shared chambers and push him up against the wall. And well... he is most certainly not complaining. You expect some resistance from him but nothing even close to that happens. You take control and he just becomes to pliant?

You have absolutely no idea where the man you had heard so many bad things about was. You had heard so much about his selfishness and desire and how rough he would make it, but you see absolutely none of that. From the moment you had him against the wall he was yours to play with.

You swear he was made for this purpose. There's no other explanation for it. He begs so quickly and so easily, wanting so badly to be good for you.

So of course you have your fun, and you very quickly discover how pretty he looks when he cries after his third orgasm. Poor little thing can't even get his legs to stop shaking.

And when you finished and you got into bed to let him cuddle into you? Well now you're it for him. He got completely wrecked AND he also got cuddles? Yeah no one else will ever be accepted again.

The entire castle is in shock for the next few weeks because Aegon doesn't leave for a brothel once? In fact he sent letters to three brothels informing them that he would no longer need his weekly booked room.

Things start to make a little more sense when they start to see you two together more often. Aegon looks at you like you hung the moon and all the stars. He's always holding your hand, always looking for you, always making sure there's space beside him for you.

It's very clear that you have a grounding effect on him, but what people don't know is how much of that effect comes from you absolutely wrecking him at least once a week.

You always know you've got to make time for that soon when he starts to get even whinier than usual (yes, it's actually possible) and he may genuinely cry if you have to go somewhere alone. Even when he is with you he's alls squirmy and unsettled, constantly moving around and snapping at anyone else who tries to get his attention.

You sort that out by getting an evening free of obligations and taking control the moment you're alone with him. Aegon needs to be pushed to his limits, needs to cum so many times he can barely even think never mind string a sentence together.

(You always start by letting him get you off, because you've learnt the hard way that if he realises at the end of a scene that you havent cum he will go straight into subdrop and feel like a failure.)

After that his favourite is when you sit next to him and drape his leg over your thigh to get full access. He whines and cries against your shoulder, mumbling broken pleas and cumming all over your hand every time you tell him to. He always cleans it up though!!! He'll lick your hand hand clean and then if you don't move your arm quick enough he will take your fingers into your mouth and then you're in trouble because if you pull away without giving him something else to suck on then he will just start crying. Poor thing is too fucked out you must help him!!

You spend the entire night and most of the next morning in bed with him after that. When he does emerge he's always in a much, much better mood and actually does all the things he's supposed to do.

[lonely-ey3s]

With All My Love (joel miller x f!reader, no outbreak) Chpt 3

Chapter 3: Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth...

Word count: 10.7k

Chapter Summary: After telling Maria everything about you and Joel, you start to realize your feelings may not be one-sided. However, just when you think things are about to calm down, you and the group are assigned to fly out on a field assignment for several days. Meanwhile, Joel hasn’t heard from you in weeks due to the mail being blocked on your side. He starts to worry something might have happened, but once Sarah discovers something after speaking to Tommy on their way out on a weekend getaway for a soccer tournament, Joel’s whole outlook changes for the better. 

Chapter warnings: anxiety, flirting, fluff, mentions of blood, mentions of guns, mentions of active combat and unaliving, panic attack, a smidge of angst, language, slow burn, guys we have smut in this chapter (18+ MDNI), m!masturbation, mentions of death, flying and jumping out of a plane (yeahh no thanks)

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Main Masterlist

Reader’s POV

After spilling everything to Maria about Joel’s letters and what he sent you, you both fell asleep on the floor of Terrance and Reggie’s. 

You woke up 7 hours later to Reggie and Terrance laughing over something in their bunks. 

Seven hours was the longest you had slept in days. You sat up on the backs of your elbows and looked around. Maria was still fast asleep next to you. You sat up more and yawned, then looked at your watch. You still had time to grab something to eat, take a quick shower, and maybe write a letter back to Joel, depending on whether any emergencies pulled you away. 

You stood to your feet and realized someone must’ve put a blanket over you when you slept, Maria as well. You put your blanket gently over Maria and walked towards the boys “What are you two up to?” you started stretching your arms over your head and cracking your neck as you woke up a little stiff. 

“Nothin' much, you sleep good?” Reggie asked, eating a bowl of what looked to be cornflakes. 

You shrugged and nodded, “As good as you can on the floor. " You lightly chuckled. “Hey, do either of you know if we have the okay to Skype family and friends? Like, do we have a special computer or somewhere we can do that?” You tried to ask nonchalantly.

“Yeah - they said your laptop we got when we got here is approved to do things like that,” Terrance said as he was working on a crossword puzzle. 

“Oh, gotcha. I didn’t know if we were ok to do personal stuff on it like that. Good to know.” you nodded and then smiled softly. “Well, I’m going to try to get something to eat and attempt to take a shower, I’ll see you guys later. Tell Maria when she wakes up I’ll meet her back here in a couple of hours.” you walked backward and then waved at the two of them before you began walking to the cafeteria building. 

You passed the medical tent and heard your name being called gently by a small voice. You stopped and looked around before spotting Azzami waving towards you, beckoning you to come to him. 

You walked over to his cot and smiled “Hey there, how are you?” you asked him in Dari. 

He gently smiled, “I’m a little sore.” he said in English. “Can I have some water?”

You nodded and grabbed him a small cup of water, helping him sip from it, “You speak English pretty good.. better than my Dari, I’m sure” 

He softly nodded and chuckled, “You aren’t bad. You’re new. You will learn more.” 

You softly looked at him and smiled “Will you teach me more?” 

He nodded and then reached for your hand, gripping it tightly “Will you stay with me a little longer?” 

“Of course. Of course, I’ll stay a little longer.” you knelt next to his cot and spent the next hour telling him where you were from, how you and Maria were bunkies, and if he ever needed anything, you would help. He shared that he was pretty much an orphan and explained that he wasn’t from this village, he fled here from a nearby village that was taken by the enemy as a base for their operation. You explained that you and he would stick together, that he had a place as long as you were here. You’d keep him safe. 

He fell back asleep from exhaustion. You made sure his IV drip looked good and the wound was still clean and then left to go to the cafe. 

You grabbed a bowl of rice and beans, ate that to yourself quickly, and then went to take a shower. 

Once you felt full and refreshed you went back to your and Maria’s quarters to grab your notebook and pen you wrote letters in and some Polaroid pictures you had taken here and there since being there to send Joel. 

Maria had snuck some candid photos for you when you weren’t looking over the past couple of weeks. Either when you were taking care of a patient or goofing off. She even got one of you smiling and laughing at one of Reggie’s jokes. When she showed you, you knew that Joel might like that one most. You also got a group photo of the four of you which you all were in a circle, with the camera in the middle all making a goofy face, but all you could do was smile happily while everyone else made a face. 

You sat back down next to Azzami’s cot, knowing that he found comfort in having you near him. 

You put Joel’s address and your new return address on the envelope, then stuck the photos in, tucking the envelope under your thigh so the wind wouldn’t blow it away as there was a gentle breeze today. 

You began writing: 

‘Joel, June 20, 2014

I don’t think it would be right to start this letter off without thanking you for the beautiful, sincere and thoughtful gifts you sent in the first parcel. I’m wearing your pendant now, and have already felt so much lighter with it on. I also feel like I’ve somewhat got a part of you with me, that might sound silly, but it brings me such comfort. 

You’ve been such a comfort in my life these last several weeks. I hope you know that. 

And you’re right, I have you, and you have me <3

You panicked just a little thinking that was too forward, too honest, but then remembered things he said in his last letter and if you could say those things effortlessly, you could too without fear of rejection.

We will have to thank Sarah for your photos, but we will have to thank Maria for mine. The Polaroid intimidates me a little too, but now that I’ve got my disposable - thank you again for that, you’ll be getting that sent back in no time. I can’t wait to start taking photos for you to see. :) 

Speaking of Sarah, I’m sorry to hear about the circumstances of her mother. I know that must’ve been hard on you when it happened, but then I’m sure it’s also had some effect on Sarah. Just know that Sarah is lucky to have you as her dad. Her mom missed out on a really neat kid, she seems pretty amazing. 

Your grandad sounds like a very special person and I am grateful you had a father figure like that in your and your brother's life. I know that any positive influence when you lack it somewhere, means the world. You had your granddad, I had my Levi. We were both very blessed to have both of them shape us into who we are today. <3

Oh, the name Cricket... I uh… I don’t chirp in my sleep, thank goodness. But Levi said that I used to rub my legs together under the sheets when I would get really warm and cozy… like a cricket he said, and never called me anything else after that. I have a small cricket tattoo… for Levi. To remember him by. <3

You mentioned Oregon and the whales. That sounds so cool, and I’d love to go! I’ve never been to Oregon or traveled much other than when I moved to GA, so that would be fun.  Maybe on a school break of Sarah’s… we could all do a small road trip together? Would she like that? 

You mentioned you are going to make a rocking chair, I am very excited to see your skills and the progress along the way! I love to watch people work with their hands - it’ll be very cool to watch you work. :) I think in terms of design, a bow would be cute for a little girl! Or a butterfly would be pretty too? You choose! Bow or butterfly <3

I also wanted to let you know that I did send a postcard when I got here, I have no idea if it got out tho, I didn’t get your letters until yesterday. The village I am in was pretty much an active war zone for the last two weeks, and from what we know mail wasn’t allowed in, but I’m hoping mine made it out as I put it to send the morning before everything went to shit. 

Anyway, I’ve got to go, my shift is about to start soon, sadly or I’d write more.. but, I wanted to ask, wou-

You stopped writing and took a deep breath, fiddling with the pen against the paper. Rubbing the bridge of your nose, looking at the sentence you want to finish when anxiety starts to bubble up from the depths you’ve tried to shove it down to. You didn’t want to get hurt or overstep. 

You hoped this wasn’t one-sided. Was he just socially awkward? Maybe? Maybe more shy than anything. But so were you. This couldn’t be just you, right? He has said things and has done things to show you that he wants more. The annoying thought came into your head, were you reading too much into it? Did you mistake kindness for something deeper? Were you that lonely, that deprived of love? As quickly as the thought came in to haunt you, it disappeared as you subconsciously reached up and grabbed the pendant in your fist, all the anxiety and fears dissolving. 

You closed your eyes and smiled softly as you took in a breath through your nose, out through your mouth.  

You opened your eyes and looked back at the paper finishing your sentence: 

Anyway, I’ve got to go, my shift is about to start soon, sadly or I’d write more.. but, I wanted to ask, would you like to Skype each other in addition to our letters? If so, my email to reach me is cricket777@mail.com - I look forward to hopefully hearing from you there <3

Warmest regards, 

Y/N

P.S. Cowboys lost 21-7 to the Vikings on Sunday… you were saying whose team was better?? ;)'

You chuckled and knew that football between you two would be a fun disagreement. You then folded the letter into thirds and stuck it in the envelope. 

Azzami was still fast asleep so before your shift started, you ran your letter to the post center to be mailed back as soon as possible. 

—

5 days later 

While Azzami recovered, and when you weren’t actively working, you sat with him and kept him company. You both bonded very quickly and looked out for each other. 

He started to call you ‘khahar’, which meant sister in Dari, and you would call him ‘Z’ as he wanted a cool nickname after learning Reginald’s name was shortened to Reggie, he was obsessed with shortening his to something cooler, and easier for the soldiers to pronounce. 

You filled your disposable camera almost up in that time, taking photos of the sunrises and sunsets, selfies of Z and you, and photos of the group playing games with the children of the village in your free time. You also took a lot of pictures of stray dogs and cats around the village which was your favorite thing to do aside from hanging out with Z. 

He taught you and Maria how to make fishtail bracelets, making one for himself, Maria, and you, which you all wore proudly together. One night you stayed up late and made a purple and pink one for Sarah and a dark green and navy blue one for Joel then sent it off early the next morning with a postcard in the parcel saying: 

‘Joel, 6/27/14

Z is a boy in the village that we take care of, and he taught Maria and me how to make these- I was thinking… I am wearing your necklace, and have a piece of you with me, you can wear this and have a part of me with you :) 

Made Sarah one too, hope the colors are to her liking as well as yours <3  

Hope you and Sarah are well, 

-Y/N’ 

You woke up the next morning to Terrance and Maria suiting up, getting into what you called your field gear. Anxiety shot through you “What’s going on?” you questioned standing up and beginning to put your boots on. 

“Field assignment. Sarge just came by with orders. Things are bad 10 miles south, they need more medics.” Terrance said, nervousness evident in his voice. 

“Shit… do we know for how long?” you looked around trying to find your things somewhat frantically. “Wait, does Z know?” you started changing into your field gear and packing what you needed. 

Maria shook her head, “No we just found out maybe 5 minutes before you woke up. Reggie went to find him. No idea how long we will be gone either.” 

Within a few minutes, you hear Z calling out ‘khahar’, “What’s going on? Reggie said you’re leaving…” he said with tears in his eyes, without the four of you there, he was pretty much on his own. 

You sat him down on the bed and took his hands “We will be back, I promise, ok? This is only temporary..” 

He nodded “But what if..” he looked at you sadly. 

You shook your head and hugged him tightly “No, that won’t happen. We are going to have each other’s backs..” you pulled away from him and looked at the group, “Right guys?” 

They all nodded and came over to pat his head or nudge him supportively. 

You looked at him and kissed his forehead, “Hey, we will be back Z, ok? I promise.” you pulled back to look him in the eyes, “Stay by the camp, everyone knows you here, they’ll let you stay here if you want.” You gripped his head gently in your hands, continuing eye contact, “And Z, you do not leave or go past the south gate for any reason. If anything happens while we are gone, you hide and stay quiet. Understand?” 

He nodded “I understand. I will be good. I will be safe.” he smiled sadly. 

You nodded back and then kissed the top of his head. “Good. We will be back soon.” you got up and grabbed your stuff then left the bunkhouse. 

—

You were all flown in by helicopter to a barren field outside a village south of camp. 

Two minutes before landing the pilot came onto your headsets “Alright this is going to be a drop-off, you all need to grab your bags and then when I give the signal, you need to get off as quickly as you can and head for cover! Understood!?” 

You looked at Maria, she looked at you and then Reggie and Terrance, “We need to stick together, keep moving and find cover. We don’t leave anyone behind, yeah?” you all nodded and then braced as the pilot made a sharp turn.

“Get ready!” he shouted and aimed the aircraft as close to the ground as possible, you dropped a rope out for you all to slide down. 

“I’ll go first! Make sure it's clear!” you shouted, putting your bag over your shoulder and picking up the assault rifle you now had to carry. Each person nodded in agreement. 

“Now!” the pilot shouted through the comms system. You ripped the headset off quickly, letting it dangle from the ceiling before grabbing the rope and sliding down, taking cover and pulling your assault rifle's scope out immediately to check for any threats. 

Your breathing was heavy and your mind was going a million miles a minute. You did a 360 turn in a circle to scope the area then looked up and signaled it was clear with your hand. Reggie slid down next, followed by Terrance, and then Maria last. Once you all touched down the helicopter immediately turned to fly away. You all crept down and began to run as quickly as you could to a nearby building to take cover. Just as you were about 50 feet away you heard a distant yell “Take cover!” you all froze and dropped to the ground, covering your heads and staying as close as you could to each other. 

Within seconds an explosion went off about 100 yards away from you. You lifted your head to look around, ears ringing and dust starting to cloud the view from behind you. You looked around frantically, then spotted a clear path to where your camp location was marked. You looked around once more then stood up “We gotta move, come on!” you encouraged the group. They all stood up and followed you. You all had one hand on your guns and then ran in a line with a hand on someone’s shoulder, keeping you all together. 

You heard gunshots and immediately pulled your gun’s scope to view, ready to shoot if necessary as you all kept walking through the camp that had now been from what you can tell abandoned or moved, the location you were given prior, no use.

“Shit..” Maria said under her breath. 

You looked back at her then Terrance, “Terrance, radio in, see if anyone answers.” 

He nodded and pulled out the radio your group was given before departing, turning to the channel designated for this area. “Delta 34, this is Specialist Johanson, touch down was made via helicopter for emergency medical attention, does anyone copy?”

You all waited for what seemed like minutes before you heard “This is Delta 34, we need help!” The radio stopped and there was a brief moment of static. You all heard an explosion in the distance before the person came back on the radio, “We are 500 yards southeast to the main village entrance.”

You looked back from where you came from and then found southeast and pointed before looking at the group, “Ok we need to go in groups of two, we are too big of a target if we go all together.” you looked around, thinking, trying to think what was best. 

“Maria, go with Reggie, follow me and Terrance.” you looked at Terrence, he looked terrified. None of you had been in a combat or active warzone like this yet, you hadn’t even shot your guns outside boot camp. 

“How far behind?” Reggie asked. 

“I don’t know, maybe 100 yards? Enough to where if either of our groups gets shot at, the other has time to react and cover the other.” you looked at Maria for a suggestion. 

“100 yards. We will have your backs.” Maria nodded at you. 

You nodded back and straightened your rifle’s strap across you and then let out a deep sigh, “Ok, the faster we get to cover, the safer we are. Let’s take our time, and be safe, but aim for speed. Sound good?” you looked at the others. 

Terrence wasn’t with you, he zoned out. 

You put your hand to his cheek, “Hey, come back to us. I need you to focus.” 

He snapped out of where he was and nodded, panic still in his eyes and features. 

“You got this.” you nudged him softly and then started walking, rifle pointed straight forward, finger on the trigger. He followed you looking above and to the sides of you. Maria and Reggie followed. 

You got to the center of the camp within 15 minutes, you were only shot at once, it grazed the top of your helmet, Maria zoned in seeing where it had come from, and shot the assailant down. 

Once there, it was pure chaos. There were bodies and people everywhere, scattered, injuries ranging in severity. You all froze taking in the sight, processing the mess, and then the four of you all snapped out of it at the same time and split up, doing what you all do best, working together to create a system. 

Maria worked on triaging, putting chalk on the bottom of their boot to signal priority, red for emergency, yellow for next in line, green for lowest priority, and white for dead. 

Terrence went to gather supplies. 

Reggie used the camp's bigger radio and called a nearby camp to ask for further assistance and backup, advising an airstrike may be best for the northeast area as that is where most of the wounded are coming from. 

You immediately started working on the red patients. 

After 15 minutes of working, you have gunfire within a few hundred yards of you. Instinctually, you lean over your patient to cover them, shouting “Take cover!”

After a few seconds of silence, you looked up to make sure everyone was ok, counting heads, when you realized you couldn’t find Terrance.

“Shit.” You frantically start scanning the area, “Terrance!” you yell, Maria looks your way, realizing, worry registered on her face as well. You had your hands on an actively bleeding wound, you started to pack it with gauze as you kept looking around, shouting his name. You pack the wound and then walk away, looking at Maria “Cot 3, take over!” she nodded and headed over. You continued to walk towards where you last saw Terrence go, and that's when you saw him. 

He had been shot in his upper leg, and was on the ground 50 yards away, leaning up against a car, bleeding, fumbling to cover his wound with his hands, breathing panicked, he was clearly in shock, supplies he was gathering scattered around him.  

“Fuck… Fuck!” you immediately ran in his direction, not even thinking of there being gunfire potentially aimed at you. “Terrence!”

He looked your way and then saw something behind you, “Get down!” he yelled. You dropped and covered behind a car across the street from him, a grenade went off and created the perfect dust cover for you to make it to him. 

You crouch and run to him, sliding in front of him. 

His leg is gushing blood, you know just by that it’s most likely nicked the femoral artery. You look up at him, he’s crying, “I don’t wanna die! Please, I don’t want to die!” he yelled, pleading. 

You look around for what supplies you have then start to unbuckle your belt. “You’re not going to die. You will not die...” 

You snaked your belt above the injury and started to tunicate his leg, pulling the belt as tight as you could. “You still got that radio on you?” 

He nodded and pulled it out from behind him, handing it to you, his hands shaking. 

You turned it on a different channel, “Alpha 326 this is Specialist ____ with Delta 34, do you copy?” 

“We copy.” a voice came almost immediately. 

“I need an immediate air strike to the following coordinates…” you pulled out your GPS locator, “34.713911, 69.239214. I have a critical patient and myself in the field and we need immediate assistance to get him to safety.”

You heard static for a few seconds then, “Copy that, air strike 60 seconds out.” 

You looked at Terrance and then clipped the radio to the back of your pants. “I’m going to pick you up when that strike happens but I need you to calm down.” You started to pack gauze into his wound, making him groan and breathe faster and heavier. 

“Terrance, I need you to breathe… breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth.” You said taking one of his hands. “I am going to get us out of here, but I need you to take some deep breaths.” 

He nodded and took a slow breath in through his nose and then exhaled out from his mouth. 

You nodded, “Good. One more.” 

He nodded and did it again. 

You smiled softly, “I got us.”

He nodded “You got us..” 

You looked up at the sky and saw a fighter jet make its way. You peeked your head out from the car and saw where you needed to go, noting someone in the building to your left with a gun pointed at your position. You moved your head back down to hide, grabbed your pendant in your fist, and closed your eyes for a second, taking in a breath, praying, hoping, ‘Please protect us, please don’t let us die.’ 

You opened your eyes and looked at him, zoned in, “Ok. Ready?” you grabbed your pistol on the side of your hip and popped up, firing 3 rounds at the gunman pointing at you, disarming him. You got back down, putting your gun away quickly, “On three…”

He nodded, you both counted down and then you grabbed his left arm and right leg and swung him over your shoulder like they showed you in basic. 

“Fuck you’re heavier than you were in basic, what the fuck man..” you strained as his full weight was on you, but then you started to jog towards the exit, the fighter jet releasing rounds into the buildings around you as soon as you stood, taking out the threats. 

Once inside safety, you got Terrance to a medical cot and Maria took over and tended to him while Reggie checked you out for any injuries.  

After being cleared you jumped in like nothing happened, thinking ‘The faster we get done here, the faster I’m back to camp, with Z and Joel…’ 

—

This went on for another 8 days. 

12 deaths.

46 injured.

Once the area was cleared, you helped Terrance and the other critical patients on a medical plane, going to a hospital in the city for care. It turned out that his injury was more severe than you and your crew could take care of in the field, got infected too, and without more intervention, there was a high chance he’d lose his leg. 

Maria and Reggie had already said goodbye and left back to camp. 

You took his hand, letting out a soft sigh, “You’re most likely going home, which is good, we want you safe and not to lose your leg… but we will miss you all terribly.” you smiled softly. “Z won’t forgive you if you don’t write to him, m’kay?” 

Terrence chuckled and nodded, “I’ll write and once I am able, I’ll Skype.” 

You nodded and then smiled once more, patting his shoulder softly, “I’ll see you.” 

He nodded back, “Yes you will.” 

You stepped off the plane and headed back to the camp to gather your things. The rest of you were headed back to camp, you hoped to come back to maybe hear from Joel. You needed that more than anything right now. 

Joel’s POV

Joel hadn’t heard from you in nearly three weeks. He wondered if you were safe. He wasn’t a religious man by any means, but couldn’t help and say small prayers for your safety here and there when his mind got too loud. 

He often found himself holding onto your picture, especially moments when his anxiety took hold. 

‘She’s safe, she just has a very busy job.’ he would repeat to himself when he’d see, read or hear something on the news about the war. He told himself that once he got your letters he would find the location on a map and then pay more closely to that area in the news. 

He kept telling himself that letters take time, there was no need to worry, right?

—

July 2, 2014

Sarah had a soccer tournament out of town this weekend. Tommy and Sarah convinced Joel to make it into a Fourth of July weekend getaway and they could take Tommy’s boat to Canyon Lake which was just a half hour from where they were staying. 

Sarah could tell Joel was feeling anxious as she also picked up how long it had been since a letter of yours came in the mail. She noticed her dad checking the mailbox every morning before he would hop in his truck, hopeful something would be there, then the look of sadness and disappointment when the mail contained nothing but bills and advertisements.  

Tommy came over early, and Joel was upstairs packing his bag. Sarah and he packed a cooler together for the drive. 

“Can I ask you somethin’ sweet pea?” Tommy looked at Sarah as he began to spread mayo on some sandwich bread.

Sarah nodded as she was filling some Ziplock baggies with some chips. 

“What’s going on with your dad? He seems distant lately, on top of that he’s gone out to that mailbox 3 times already this morning…” he began putting lunch meat and cheese on the bread.

Sarah looked towards the stairs and sighed softly, “Yeah, a lot is on his mind, I think.” she walked over and sat on the counter next to Tommy, “He and I are doing this pen pal thing together. His person is currently deployed in Afghanistan, she’s a medic.” she helped squirt some spicy mustard on the cheese before Tommy put the other half of the bread on top, she continued, “I think dad likes her, you know like likes her…” she hopped off the counter to begin putting the used ingredients back in the fridge. “He hasn’t heard from her in, I think 3 weeks. I think he’s worried something happened to her.” 

Tommy perked up when he heard Joel was doing a pen pal program, but then after he heard it was to a woman in Afghanistan he was more intrigued. “Wait wait… you guys are doing that pen pal program too?” 

Sarah spun around, confused about what he said, “Too? As in you’re doing it too?” 

Tommy chuckled and nodded, “Yeah, saw a flyer at the local library…” he thought for a second, “Wait, that’s interesting because my pen pal also got deployed to Afghanistan maybe… I don’t remember, the beginning of June? She’s a medic too” he shrugged the thought of them writing two bunk mates off though, the chances of that being so slim. 

Sarah’s jaw dropped, and she quickly ran up to him, “Tommy, the person you’re writing... What’s her name?”

He looked confused as he wrapped the sandwiches in cling film, “Maria. Why?”

“Tommy. Does Dad know about you doing this pen pal program, who you’re writing to?” she pressured. 

“No, I didn’t think it was worth mentioning, why? What’s going on?” he turned towards her now feeling on the edge of his seat by her line of questioning.

“Tommy… Maria and Y/N are bunkmates…” She grabbed his arm and smiled brightly, “Wait, when did you hear from Maria last?” she looked at him desperately, hoping he had heard from Maria more recently.

Tommy connected the dots in his head, “Oh shit... I see what you’re getting at. I uh, I Skyped her right after she got to camp. We uh… you know exchanged Skype info before she left in case mail couldn’t get out… as that happened to me when I was over there quite often.” He chuckled “Now this all makes sense, she said that they were in a pretty active area, and said mail wasn’t able to get out… it’s possible your dad isn’t getting her mail due to th-” he explained. 

“Dad!” Sarah interrupted and shouted running up the stairs towards his bedroom, “Dad!!” 

Joel came out of his room looking slightly panicked at Sarah’s shouting, “Sarah? What’s wrong?” he grabbed her face in his hands, studying her eyes. 

“Tommy! Get your ass up here!” Sarah took Joel's hands off her softly, giggling excitedly. 

“Sarah, language!” Joel scolded her gently. 

Tommy jogged up the stairs and smirked when he got to the top, “When were you going to tell me all this sulking was over a woman big brother?”

Joel looked at Tommy confused, “What? I’m not sulki-” 

Tommy nodded “Yes you are, like a puppy dog.” he laughed softly, continuing to walk towards Joel and Sarah at the end of the hall. 

“Dad, Tommy is writing in the pen pal program too! And guess what?” Sarah began bouncing on her toes, hands cradled up to her chest, beaming. 

“Wh-” Joel was cut off. 

“He’s writing to Maria! You know, Maria!? From Y/N’s first letter! Uncle Tommy is writing your pal’s literal bunk mate Dad!” Sarah shouted a little louder than she expected. 

Joel looked at Tommy, relief cracking through his expression, “Wait.. is this true? I.. I haven’t.. when did you hear from her last?” he looked at Tommy, desperately. 

Tommy smiled softly and put his hand on Joel’s shoulder, “They made it to their base camp safely, Maria even mentioned how her friend, Y/N, was getting them dinner when I last spoke to her..” 

Joel looked at Tommy, confused now, “Wait you spoke to her, as in like on the phone?” 

Tommy shook his head, “No, no, Maria and I exchanged Skype information in our last letter exchange before she got deployed. I knew the chances of mail not making it out if she was in an active combat area were gon’ to be high…” he sighed gently. “I spoke to her via Skype a couple of days after she landed in Afghanistan.” he explained before gently squeezing Joel's shoulder, “She said they pretty much had the village on lockdown.” He gently shook his shoulder, “Your girl tho, she’s safe, she probably just hasn’t got your letters yet. Maria said it had been pretty busy and they hadn’t had much time to barely sleep. We haven’t had the time to Skype again tho since then, but she’s been sending messages letting me know small updates, sending pictures, and stuff like that.” he smiled.

Joel listened to everything, nodding along to Tommy and then letting out a sigh of relief, “Oh, thank god..” he felt his kneels buckle as he felt like this enormous load was immediately lifted off his shoulders, he fell to this knees and held his head in his hands, tears pooling, it was like damn of so much emotion had broken. “I thought… she… the news…” he said with a crack in his voice, voice quivering. 

Sarah fell to the ground and hugged him, “Oh Dad, I’m so sorry, I had no idea this was bothering you this much.” 

Joel fell into her arms and sobbed softly, “I was worried something happened and she has no one to… she has no one they will alert, all her family is gone.” he looked up at Tommy and Sarah, tears streaking down his face. 

Sarah had rarely seen her dad cry, this was a huge emotional marker that you meant more to her dad than she knew. Sarah looked at Joel and softly began wiping the tears from his cheeks, “She’s got you now Dad…” She smiled and kissed his cheek before hugging him again, “It’s ok Dad, everything is ok.” 

Joel held her tightly, kissing the top of her head. 

Tommy knelt, “Do you want me to message Maria and ask for an update? Just for peace of mind?” 

Joel nodded, “Please? You don’t need to mention me or Y/N.. I’ll know if Maria is safe, she is too.” 

Tommy nodded, “Can I log into your computer real quick? I can do it before we leave then when we get to our hotel, I can check my laptop… it’s just already packed in the truck or I would message on there.” He smiled at Joel and Sarah. 

Joel nodded quickly, “Yeah, the uh password is…” 

Tommy stood and interrupted walking back downstairs, “I know the damn password Joel, CubsSux123!” 

Joel chuckled and thought to himself, ‘I need to change that…’ thinking back to when you said you were a Cubs fan. 

—

Tommy messaged Maria on chat quickly and then within 20 minutes they had all left for their destination. 

When they got to the hotel the first thing Joel did after unloading their bags into their room was stand and look at Tommy with his hand on his hip and knee popped out, asking if he had heard from Maria. 

Tommy chuckled, loving seeing his brother like this, obviously crushing hard on you. He hadn’t seen him like this since they were maybe in high school. 

Tommy got a message from Maria: 

‘Thanks for checkin’ in! We have been on a field assignment for the past 6 days. It’s been crazy, we had someone get hit on the first day while going to get supplies, he’s ok for now, but Y/N had to go into a hot area to pull him out. Luckily she called for an air strike to cover her while she carried him back, it was a crazy first day. Things are starting to slow down, we think we might be back at the main camp in a couple of days. I’ll let you know when we get back, we can Skype. xx’ 

Joel must’ve read that message about 20 times, smiling that you were safe but was going to need to talk to you about putting yourself in dangerous situations, he chuckled to himself, ‘Can’t get herself hurt before we get the chance to meet each other…’ he thought to himself as he read. 

He stepped out on the hotel’s balcony while Sarah and Tommy watched ‘Keeping Up with the Kardashians’ while eating some pizza they ordered, holding the picture of you he had taken with from his back pocket, ‘She’s ok. She is safe.’ he mumbled to himself looking down at the photo. 

He had it bad for you and began to regret not asking to Skype in his last letter. All he wanted right now would be to hear your voice, to know in real-time how you were, how your day was, to hold an actual conversation with you. 

God, he wondered how you sounded, how your laugh sounded when you laughed at his jokes that he tried to slide into his writing, he couldn’t wait to hear it. He was counting down the days until he was back home, he hoped by then he would have something from you. 

The next few days for Joel were much needed, especially now that he knew you were ok. It felt like he could breathe again. 

It felt like he was suffocating every time he heard or saw something on the news concerning the war, not knowing where you were or if you were ok. It also didn’t help that he kept it all to himself; self-isolating was something he did in moments of anxiety or depression, and always regretted it afterward. He seems to always forget in those moments that Tommy and Sarah would move heaven and earth for him, they’d always have his back. 

Tommy and Sarah noticed the immediate shift in him, and both discussed when he wasn’t around how nice it was to see him happy about someone. He deserved this after being alone for so long. 

Sarah played in a tournament for most of Friday, playing in a total of 4 games. Joel took pictures on his phone and some videos, cheering loudly for her, he was so proud. Sarah scored 2 goals and helped her team win 2nd place. 

He beamed with pride when her team was awarded a smaller trophy cup than first place, but still pretty big, taking as many photos as he could on his phone. 

She ran over to Tommy and Joel with the trophy “I wanna get a picture with it and also with you and Tommy!” she smiled panting softly, out of breath from running. 

Joel pulled out his phone again, taking a photo of just her, one with her and Tommy, then Sarah took a selfie with the three of them and then Tommy took Joel's phone and took one of just Sarah and Joel smiling and then another of Joel kissing the top of her head while she smiled. 

The three of them went out to dinner and Sarah chose where to go, which was a nearby dinner. They spent time planning their day on the lake tomorrow and then all got back to the hotel room and started to gather their things for the boat tomorrow. 

Tommy sat down on the bed and pulled out his laptop while Joel worked on something work-related on his at the desk. Sarah was in the bathroom taking a shower before they’d all get into bed. 

Tommy saw that Maria had messaged him on Skype: 

‘We will be going back to base camp tomorrow afternoon after we load the medical evac plane, wanna Skype when I get back? xx’ 

“Maria messaged me a few hours ago, and said they are headed back to base camp tomorrow.”

Joel turned in his chair to face Tommy, “Can you do that from the lake?” he asked curiously. 

Tommy chuckled, “No, but they are about 10 hours ahead of us so by the time we are done at the lake and back here, they’ll be just waking up. I’ll let Maria know I’ll Skype her around 10 pm, and let her know we will be on the lake. She said they are usually up at 5 am, so that’s perfect.” he smiled as he typed his reply back. 

He typed back to Maria, ‘Sounds good, thank you for the update. My brother, niece and I are out of town for the weekend, mind if we Skype around 6 am your time, 10 pm mine? We will be on the lake most of the day or I’d do sooner.’ 

“Thanks for all you’ve done Tommy to keep me… sane.” Joel chuckled lightly, turning back around to face his laptop. 

Tommy nodded and smiled at his brother “Anytime.”

—

The three of them spend the better part of the next day on the lake. Swimming, water skiing (or attempting, the only one that could stand up was Sarah), eating, and enjoying the weather. 

Sarah took tons of pictures and some for Joel to send in his next letter to you. 

Joel’s mind kept drifting to you throughout the day, thinking how it might be if you were tagging along with them. His thoughts dared to wonder as to how you’d look in a bathing suit. How it would hug your curves and how irresistible you’d look. 

He took the opportunity while Tommy and Sarah were taking a cat nap on the boat to float in the water and cool off a bit. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the life vest he had on. 

After a little bit, his mind started to drift and he started to imagine holding you against him in the water, having your legs wrap around his torso, arms draped around his shoulders loosely. His hands would slowly and ever so gently explore up and down your body, gripping the soft flesh of your hips as he would devour you, hungrily and passionately, lips crashing over each other, tongues intertwining, both of you starving for each other. 

“Hey, you wanna start cookin’ up dinner with me?” Tommy called out to Joel from the boat. 

Joel’s eyes snapped open and he jumped at hearing Tommy, out of breath from his thoughts. He groaned feeling himself hard against his swim shorts “Fuck…” he moved a hand down to palm himself. 

He shut his eyes and let out a shaky breath, thinking of anything to make this go away, but all his mind did was flood with you, your body, your essence, just making him harder. 

“Joel? You hear me?” Tommy questioned not hearing his brother answer back. 

“I uhm… y-yeah just give me a sec.” Joel let go of himself and started to slowly swim back to the boat, still rock hard. 

Tommy looked down at him, “Need a towel?” he smiled, oblivious to the situation Joel was in.

Joel nodded, trying to keep his cool, “Yeah, yes please.” 

Tommy put a towel on the edge for Joel and then as Tommy turned to walk away, he took his opportunity to quickly get out of the water and wrap the towel around his waist. He took the life vest off and set it down then started to walk towards the small cabin area where there was a tiny bathroom. “I’ll be right back.” he rushed inside and shut the door. 

He undid the towel and looked down at his pants, nothing, no change, cock still straining against his pants, “God damn it, Joel.” he cursed himself. 

He put a hand on the sink and closed his eyes, he felt dirty for what his mind suggested he do to relieve the obvious bulge. 

He shook his head and whispered, “I can’t, no, that’s… no.” he let out a shaky breath, trying to calm himself down. 

He gripped the sink with the other hand and closed his eyes, trying to focus on something else however flashes of you swarmed his vision. Thoughts of you up against this sink, moaning his name as he sunk deep into you, gripping his shoulders and begging for him to keep going. 

He opened his eyes slightly, breathing heavily, and moved his right hand down to untie his trunks and pull his cock out, spitting into his palm he start stroking it, making it as wet as it can. He closes his eyes and whimpers as he keeps a steady rhythm on himself, imagining your legs wrapping around him, his lips feverishly worshiping your soft skin. Making marks on your breasts, neck, shoulders, anything he can touch while gripping his hands tightly around your waist, making you rhythmically stroke and down his cock, gripping him oh so sweetly. He wishes he could taste your lips, how he would drink in every moment he could touch his lips to yours. He would whisper sweet nothings against your lips and into your skin as he prayed to whatever was above to never let this burning desire in his soul for you extinguish. 

He felt his knees give out and a coil begins to tighten deep within. “Fuck me…” he whispered as he knew he was close, he began picking up the pace.

He imagined how you might cum against his cock? Back arched, breasts bouncing, nipples perked, and pressed against his chest? Legs quivering, eyes rolling back, fingers tangled in his hair, jaw slacked while you moaned how good he felt inside your sweet tight pussy?  

That did it. 

He grunted and let out a quiet cry “Oh f-fuck fuck…” as he came harder than he ever had by himself, breath shaky and weak. 

He grunted once more as he was slowing down his hand, he felt a small tug again as another rope of cum shot out from over-sensitivity. 

His legs buckled and he fell to sit on top of the toilet. 

He looked at himself in the mirror, his cheeks were rosy red, looking like he was slightly drunk. All he could was chuckle at himself and cover his face with his left hand, “I’m so fucked…” he admitted. 

He cleaned himself up quickly and ‘flushed’ the toilet, just for added detail that he was ‘using’ the bathroom. He looked back at himself in the mirror before exiting the bathroom and mumbled to himself “I’m such a sick fuck…” he chuckled again and then went to join Tommy to cook. 

The three of them watched fireworks on the lake together. Around 8 pm they packed up and drove back to the hotel. 

By the time they made it back to the hotel, it was just past 9 pm. Sarah fell asleep in the car, Joel carried her inside and put her to bed, tucking her in and kissing her head. 

Tommy sat on the bed and turned the TV on quietly, putting on the sports channel. 

“Hey I’m going to take a shower, you good keeping an eye on Sarah?” 

“Yeah, go ahead, I’ll just be sitting here for a bit.” he smiled his way before turning back to the TV. 

Joel had completely forgotten Tommy was going to Skype Maria so a half hour later when he heard a woman’s voice coming from the room, Joel peeked out from the door, confused with a towel around his waist and hair all crazy from the shower. 

“Yeah, it’s been a crazy week for us! But it was nice to get back when we did, we made it back just in time for the camp’s 4th of July celebration.” Maria said through the computer. 

“Oh, that’s nice! What did you guys have to barbeque there? I remember we did Spam and potatoes one year! Wasn’t so bad…” Tommy chuckled before looking up and seeing Joel peek at him, he mouthed and pointed to the laptop ‘Maria..’

Joel heard Maria laugh softly and then it clicked, he might hear you in the background. He excitedly stumbled to get dressed, knocking things over in the background.

Maria heard what sounded like a bull in a china shop in the background, she stopped mid-sentence, “Is everything ok over there?” she smiled. 

Tommy chuckled knowing exactly why Joel was being so clumsy, but he didn’t want to give anything away to Maria in case Joel didn’t want anyone to know your and his relationship. “Yeah it's just my brother, he’s in the bathroom, he must’ve knocked something over, sorry..” he chuckled. “You were saying?” 

Joel came out with his hair slicked back and a shirt and pajama pants on. He sat at the office chair and opened up his laptop, attempting to eavesdrop without being too noticeable, thinking Tommy had no idea that he had a major fat crush on you.

He heard Maria talk about someone named ‘Z’ and how you and her were going to teach him how to play baseball with a few other boys in the village tomorrow. 

He heard a door open and a kid laughing along with someone else and then a pause, followed by a shocked gasp and then a voice, your voice, “Oh my god! Maria! Have you been Skyping Reginald- I mean Tommy, fuck sorry, and you didn’t tell me!!?” you said at Maria. Joel immediately flipped around towards Tommy. 

Tommy looked up at Joel from the camera. 

Maria had turned a bright shade of red immediately and stood up to shove you back out of the room, “God you are so annoying! Get out!” 

You giggled, pushing back against her, fighting to stay in the room, Z laughing as well trying to help you push against her, “Oh come on, I am delightful Maria! I just wanna say hi!” you waved in the distance to the camera, “Hi Tommy! I’m the lovely, awesome, never annoying at all roommate that I am sure Maria has said soo many good things about!” you giggled and grunted as Maria pushed against you harder, “Good god Maria you are like a fucking linebacker, shit you're strong!” 

Joel smiled brightly hearing your voice, slowly moving to sit on the edge of the bed to listen closer. 

Maria managed to push you out of the doorway, fueled by embarrassment, but before she could close the door, Tommy saw you wave again and shout “I bid you adieu, good sir!” Z yelled as well and waved “Adieu Mr. Tommy!” you let out a loud laugh at Z’s statement, “Good one Z!”

Tommy let out a chuckle, “Bye Y/N and Z, it was nice to meet you!”

Maria shut the door and took a breath then came back over to the screen. “Sorry about that, she’s never going to let me live that down.” she covered her face.

Tommy chuckled, “Didn’t tell her you were Skypin’ me? Ouch…” he teased.

Maria smiled and chuckled “No no, nothing like that! I was waiting til she started to maybe Skype with her guy. Didn’t want to make her feel like she was behind in some way, you know?” she chuckled, “Plus she’s got a major crush on the guy, and I think he has one on her…” she said in lower tone then went back to her normal voice, “I was going to wait for her letter to get back to him, which includes her asking him if he’d want to Skype and it has her info, but that won’t be for maybe another couple of days or so as I’m sure he hasn’t gotten her letter yet as she sent it right before we left for that field assignment.” 

Joel looked at Tommy and Tommy looked at Joel, both frozen by the news Maria just accidentally spilled. Joel turned bright red and smiled so hard his cheeks started to hurt.

Maria noticed the energy shift, “You ok Tommy?” she asked softly. 

Joel signaled for him to keep quiet frantically, using the lips-sealed sign, smiling like a fucking idiot, not to tell her anything, Tommy just smiled and looked back down at Maria on the screen, “Yeah, yeah, sorry I just thought I woke up my niece, but we’re good.” 

Joel got off the bed and paced the room a few times, trying not to make much noise when all he wanted to do was yell and shout for joy. 

You had a major crush on him. Holy fuck, you had a major crush on him. 

Tommy and Maria talked for another 15 minutes before Maria had to go as her shift started soon and she needed to do a few things beforehand like ‘knock you across the head’ for earlier she joked. 

As soon as Tommy closed the laptop Joel whispered in an attempt to not wake Sarah, frantically, “What the fuck man, what the fuck, did I hear that right?” he came over to Tommy who stood up to get ready for bed, smiling at his brother's obvious excitement that a girl liked him just as much as he liked her. 

“You heard her right, Joel.” he chuckled and then hissed as Joel excitedly started punching and slapping his arm. “Fuck Joel calm down!” he moved away from his brother’s over-excitement and smiled at him, he hadn’t seen Joel this happy in a very very long time, and it was all because of you. 

Joel may have woken everyone up at 7 am to leave to get home. 

Joel may have also sped 15 miles over the speed limit and got a ticket trying to get home, praying your letters were in their mailbox. 

Emphasis on the may have, right? No, it all happened and neither Sarah nor Tommy said a damn thing because regardless of the grumpy attitudes they both had from being woken up that early, and the $200 speeding ticket, he was still beaming the whole drive home, even singing along to the radio. Yeah, even Sarah was shocked by that, considering it was her playlist and a good amount of Taylor Swift was on there. 

Joel pulled into the driveway and practically leaped out of the damn truck on his way to the mailbox.

Sarah and Tommy leaned against the truck, arms folded, chuckling together as they watched him. Tommy updated Sarah on the events of last night when Joel ran into a gas station to use the bathroom that they were both were convinced he broke some record by how fast he was in and out. 

He pulled out the pile of mail from the mailbox and immediately sat on the curb to sort through it. 

Sarah laughed “Oh my god, Dad! Come on, get inside and do that, the neighbors will see!” she teased. 

“Shh!” he chuckled and continued to sort, “Bill, bill, bill, coupon, scam, bill, scam, bill, another bill…” Then he saw it, your name, on not one, but two envelopes. He’s never been so damn happy to get mail in his whole goddamn life. 

“Anything Dad?” Sarah asked, starting to walk over, worried nothing was in there as he stopped sorting and was quiet all of a sudden. 

He sprang up from the curb, “Fuckin’ finally!” he yelled and held the letters up in the air. 

Sarah chuckled, “Anything for me?”

Joel looked down at the pile and saw the next envelope was from Sam, he wrote back Sarah. He picked up the rest of the pile under his arm, walked over, and kissed her cheek, “Yeah, Sam wrote ya baby girl.” he handed her the letter. 

She smiled and looked up at him, “Looks like it’s a good mail day, eh Dad?” she took his arm and started to walk inside with him. 

“You bet it is sweet pea.” 

— 

Tommy started making them something for lunch while Joel and Sarah read their letters, knowing they both were too excited and weren’t going to do anything but that for the foreseeable future, but knew they were all going to be hungry. 

Joel opened the letter that felt like something was in it first and smiled at the bracelets you sent, giving Sarah hers and asking Sarah to tie his on for him. 

He smiled reading your postcard, realizing who Z was now, and connected that was whose voice he also heard on the call with Maria. He smiled warmly and softly blushed when you referred to the necklace as having a piece of him. He looked at his wrist that now had the watch Sarah fixed for his last birthday and your two bracelets, it had a reminder of the two most important women in his life. That made his heart soar. 

He then pulled out the letter you sent that had numerous photographs and he couldn’t help his dorky smile as he looked at each one. 

‘She’s so damn beautiful..’ he thought to himself looking at the candid Maria took of you laughing and smiling at Reggie’s joke. He felt his heart beat hard and steady as he looked at each photo. He couldn’t wait to see your face more, and your voice. Now that he knew both, he knew being in your presence - when he would eventually move mountains and heavens to be with you - he would be intoxicated by you. He could never tire of you, he knew he wanted you in his life, for the rest of his life. 

He had convinced himself it was silly when that thought first came into his head last night when he heard your voice, blowing it off to just pure excitement but then here it is again. 

His grandfather always told him that time didn’t always matter, sometimes, when you know, you just know.

He knew it was it with you.  

He hadn’t felt this with anyone else in his lifetime, not even his first love, Sarah’s mom, it was never this strong, this… simple.

Sarah looked up from her letter and watched him for a moment, she smiled, her dad finally was going to be happy, she knew that for certain now, that was a comfort no one could give her so easily, but you did. 

She stood up from the table and came over and kissed her dad on the head softly, “I’m going to go take a shower because someone ran us out of the hotel this morning…” she gently nudged her dad chuckling. 

He looked at her and smiled, “Ok baby girl…” and that's when she saw it in his eyes, he was utterly and completely happy. 

“I’m happy you’re happy Dad. I know you make her happy too.” she softly said before walking upstairs to the bathroom. 

He smiled warmly and watched her walk away, out of the corner of his eye he saw Tommy smirking. “Oh, brother you got it bad.” Tommy teased. 

Normally Joel would say some smart-ass comment back but right now, he just couldn’t care, he did have it bad. 

He smiled and nodded, “Yes I do, little brother, yes I do.” he looked back down and pulled out your letter to read. He heard Tommy chuckle and then he put a plate next to Joel with some toast, spread with smashed avocado, and spicy scrambled eggs on top with some hot sauce. 

“I’ll put Sarah’s up in her room and then head out. Tell Y/N I said hello again.” he winked before heading up to Sarah’s room to drop off her food and then leave. 

Joel just chuckled at Tommy’s last sentence and ate as he read your letter slowly.

He couldn’t wait to get more pictures from you either, he was looking forward to multiple full disposable cameras to process and look through. 

He admired how you empathized with his struggles and pain in regard to Sarah’s mom without being too negative about the experience or not calling her a name or saying something awful. She isn’t Joel’s favorite person, but he’ll always respect her as Sarah’s mother and he could tell you felt the same.  

He smiled and warmly read over your kind words about his granddad. He thought, ‘He would have loved you. You’re just like my grandma and mom in a lot of ways, and that’s what he said I always needed, a ‘mujer fuerte e independiente’, strong independent woman.’ 

He chuckled lightly at the reason for your nickname ‘Cricket’, he thought to himself that he couldn’t wait to hopefully see one day when you and he were in bed together after a long day and you do that little thing with your legs. He’d cherish and adore it, always. 

He teared up a little when you brought up doing a road trip with Sarah. You always included her in the conversation, hell you made those bracelets and even made her a pair. She was never an afterthought for you, she was continuously included. That’s all he wanted in a partner, someone to not only love and support him but her as well. 

He loved your suggestion of a butterfly for the rocking chair and made a mental note to talk to you more about it and get your opinion on what kind of butterfly and how to position it, he wanted to know your opinion of everything it felt like. He loved having someone to turn to like that, he missed having it for so long. 

He beamed at the last paragraph where you asked about Skyping, he looked at the time, ‘4:13 pm’, and then did the math in his head, ‘Shit, it's like 2 am where she is.’ Then he remembered Tommy said that you and Maria get up around 5 am. 

He got up from the table and ran upstairs to get his laptop and charger, bringing it back downstairs to the table. 

He luckily still had Skype installed from when Tommy was deployed or he would have had to ask Sarah how the hell to reinstall it. 

He clicked the icon and then looked at your email on the letter and typed it in, ‘Status: Offline’ he read by your name and picture, in which you had a picture of you most likely before the army, you had your hair down and it looked like it was a selfie, Joel instantly snapped a photocopy of it on his phone shyly. 

He typed in the chat section, ‘Morning sweetheart, got your letters, would now be a good time for us to Skype? 🙂’ then clicked send. 

He took a deep breath and then walked away from the table, starting to clean up the dishes that Tommy had left in the sink, start the laundry with all the dirty clothes from the weekend, and then started gathering stuff to make dinner when he heard a ‘Ding!’ from his laptop. 

He looked at the time, “It’s only been an hour, it can’t be…” he said to himself, confused. 

He continued to gather ingredients for dinner, brushing it off as a figment of his imagination.

He heard a second ding and perked up, dropping the bag of noodles he had in his hand and ran into the counter, hitting his knee, in the process of rushing back over to the table “Ow fuck…” 

He waved the mouse around to wake up the screen when he saw: 

Y/N: Evenin’ cowboy❣️

Y/N: Been going mad waiting for you to get my letters. Of course, it’s a good time! 😀

He grinned, bit his bottom lip, grabbed his laptop and charging cord, and ran upstairs into his bedroom, abandoning his plans to make dinner, he’d tell Sarah to order takeout. As if you saw he was online, he saw ‘Incoming call…’ across his screen with your picture. He jumped on the bed and then laid the laptop down in his lap, clicking ‘Accept.’ 

Previous chapter - Next chapter

A/N: ahhh i am so very sorry for this cliffhanger, ok maybe not, gotta keep you on your toes hahaha !! thank you so much for reading, i literally poured my heart and soul into this chapter and so far, it’s my favorite (don’t tell the other chapters I said that). please don’t forget to like, reblog, comment, and share with fellow pedro/joel lovers! luv you all! <3

Taglist: @sarahhxx03, @blahkateisdone, @sunnytuliptime, @pedroscurls

[karl-whllr]

my biggest byler hc is that not only did mike call will while he was away but he did ALOT.

prior to this right after he left i think maybe he sent a letter to will a signed it love mike. then he got a letter from el signed the same thing and goes shit i shouldnt have done that thats gay.

anyways he calls him a lot like multiple times a day for months. but due to the fact that vecna was trying to cause issues, the line would always go to busy or voice mail. but after a bit, the phone would connect for a few seconds or something and then hang up.

the one time when mike actually got a person on the phone, its jonathan and he says that will is busy and cant talk right now.

and mike thinks that he's ignoring him and is super hurt by it.

he cant send letters bc letter gate and gay but he ends up sending one that says something along the lines of

lol i keep trying to call u and i keep missing you. so please be by the phone on this date at this time.

and this letter gets lost or stolen in the mail. but he sends it along with a letter to el and el responds to her letter so mike assumes that will must not want to talk to him. that he has new friends and has forgotten about him or thinks hes annoying or wtv. so he stops calling. but he keeps writing letters and stores them in a shoe box in his closet under a bunch of stuff so no one will find it. and every letter is adressed and has a stamp on it. 100% ready to send. and if hes writing a letter to el and will, wills letter gets the stamp even though he knows he'll never send it.

the day of the scheduled call, will doesnt pick up. mike goes upstairs and pulls out the box and just fuckin looses it and completely crashes out and starts kicking it or wtv. and general break down stuff. and he thinks that will must have gotten werided out or grossed out by the way he signed it and he ruined everything

anyways thats why he's weird at the airport

This is def my favorite so far

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hii, I was wondering if you had any recs of a writer/author John au. I've found some of author Sherlock, but none of John except his blogging that he does normally. if you don't do recs anymore or don't feel like answering feel free to ignore and have a lovely day! <3

Hi Nonny!

Oh I'm still doing weekly lists, I just don't get many asks for them anymore so I feel like y'all don't like them anymore LOL. BUT!! Your ask is a fantastic excuse to use your ask as a list prompt since I don't have one ready for today!! I actually find the opposite, that there seem to be more "writer John" fics more than the other way around, especially as I've been going through my lists.

That said, I've done a tag search for "writer" and "author" on my offline lists, and here's what I got! Hope you enjoy and as usual, if anyone has any fics that they would like to suggest, please add them below!!

WRITER / AUTHOR JOHN

BOOKMARKS

A Gossamer Dream by CarmillaCarmine (E, 15,985 w., 4 Ch. || Writer/Teacher AU || First Meetings, Friends to Lovers, Writer John / Teacher Sherlock, Fluff, London, Holding Hands, Online Friendship / Romance, Phone Sex, Anal Sex, Happy Ending, Alternating POV, Scottish John, Online Relationship, Internalized Homophobia, Hand Holding, Forehead Touching, First Kiss/Time, Texting/Sexting, Rimming, Toplock, Sherlock Speaks French) – Sherlock had never realised one could care so much about someone they'd never met in person. Now he is about to meet the friend with whom he's been chatting online for months and his anticipation is reaching a crescendo. Part 19 of Johnlock Smut (with Feels)

Being John Watson-ish by elwinglyre (E, 69,902 w., 17 Ch. || Bodysnatcher AU || Author John, Cranky Sherlock, Angst, Sexual Tension, First Kiss / Time, Falling in Love, BAMF John, Past Soldier John, Feelings, Inside Someone’s Brain, Shy Sherlock, Sherlock Loves John, POV Sherlock, Switchlock, Slow Burn, Internal Dialogue, Mental Turmoil) – When consulting detective Sherlock Holmes steps on one toe too many at a crime scene, he's consigned to a desk job in an archaic office on the seventh-and-a-half floor of the New Scotland Yard. It’s in this bleak office that Sherlock discovers a portal into the mind of renowned author John Watson. Grander than his mind palace, this new wonderland affords Sherlock new vistas of experimentation. To learn more about the mystery behind the portal, Sherlock seeks out and befriends Watson. But then it all goes wrong when others find the secret portal door—including the man whose brain he visits.

MARKED FOR LATER

Exposition - An Ex Files Special by 7PercentSolution (T, 7,643 w., 12 Ch. || POV Second Person, Angst, Bereavement, Poetry / Haiku, Hallucinations, Writing as Therapy) – John's a writer. However much Sherlock derided the blog, people read what he writes. After the fall, John's writing takes a surprisingly different approach. This sets the context for a series of chapters, each one including a different poem by John. Part 4 of Ex Files

keywords: Gay, Loving, Boyfriends by lookupkate (E, 17,771 w., 17 Ch. || Doctor John AU || Alternate First Meeting, Hospitals, John Writes Smut, Sherlock Reads Smut, Fanfiction) – John starts writing gay romance while holed up in hospital. Sherlock reads the first fic on accident, and it sticks with him for days. He can't help but read more from the unknown writer. Little does he know, the writer isn't exactly unknown to him. The writer happens to be the A&E Doctor he's feuding with. Christ, can you imagine what he'll think once he finds out? 

Dead Letter Office by a_different_equation (M, 20,364 w., 15 Ch. || ‘Bartleby’ Fusion / Office Setting AU || Different First Meeting, Epistolary, John's Blog, Angst with a Happy Ending, Pre-Canon, John Watson is Sherlock's Boss, PTSD John, Military Backstory, Writer John, Drug Use, Texting) – John Watson comes home from the war, gets a new job and meets Sherlock Holmes through Mike Stamford. Same tale since 1891, except this time it’s 2008, John is Sherlock’s boss, and they work together at the Dead Letter Office in London. It's not a love story, until it finally is.

The Reawakening of John Watson by  221b_careful_what_you_wish_for (E, 20,463 w., 14 Ch. || Historical 1800s American/Victorian AU || Artist Sherlock, Writer John, Angst with Happy Ending, Bisexual John, Period Typical Homophobia, Sensuality, Experienced Sherlock, Pining, Past Drug Use, Slow Burn, Love Confessions, Flirty Sherlock, Frottage, Outdoor Sex, Trust Issues, Minor Character Death, Sexual Tension, Colorado / London, Rimming, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs,  POV John) – Trying to escape his troubled past in England, John Watson has started a new life in the American West. When he meets the handsome artist Sherlock Holmes, a smoldering attraction is sparked, complicating his quiet, carefully guarded existence. Maybe taking a risk with Sherlock is exactly what John needs to feel alive again...

The Key to Castles in the Air by LadyKailitha (T, 34,365 w., 21 Ch. || Author AU || Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Bratty Sherlock, Damaged Sherlock, Romance, Shop Clerk/Writer John) – John is a clerk (and writing a book on the side) at a bookshop run by Mrs Hudson. The one downside to this perfect job is Sherlock Darling, Mrs Hudson's friend who loves to rile John up. About everything. All that changes when they are forced to spend a week together in the country when bad weather hits. Sherlock's got secrets. What will John do once he finds them out?

There I Saw You, Night by esplanade (T, 54,073 w., 12 Ch. || Writer AU || Poet Sherlock, Writer John, True Love, Sherlock's A Mess, Conversations, John's Family) – "It wasn't as if he had stopped writing entirely. Quite the opposite, in fact. It was just that most of what he wrote ended up thrown into the fireplace at home. What was the sense in keeping something that was sub-par?"

This Is Your Song by agirlsname (E, 79,990 w., 19 Ch. || Moulin Rouge Fusion || Prostitute Sherlock, Poet John, Acting, Singing, Dancing, Writing, Poetry, Musical, Song Fic, Heavy Angst, Unreliable Narrator, Sherlock is French, Love at First Sight, UST, First Kiss/Time, Frottage, Coming in Pants, Anal Sex, Switchlock, Clothed Sex, Crossdressing, Secret Relationship, Forbidden Love, Jealousy, Terminal Illnesses, Grief/Mourning, Breakup/Makeup Sex, Past Drug Use, Attempted Rape, Canon-Typical Violence)– When John Watson is invalided home from the army in 1895, he moves to Paris to rediscover his writing and find a new meaning in life. His old friend Stamford invites him into a group of artist friends, and suddenly John finds himself auditioning to write a show for the famous brothel across the street. There, he meets the most beautiful man he’s ever seen - Sherlock, the star of the Moulin Rouge. But Sherlock is already promised to the investor of the show, the rich Duke Moriarty.

A Case of Identity – The Musical by shamelessmash (E, 83,147 w., 15 Ch. || 1950′s Hollywood AU || Musical, Case Fic, Undercover as an Actor, Dancing, Happy Ending, Kidnapping, Drugs, Fluff and Angst, Humour, Writer/Director John, Slow Burn / Romance) – A mysterious death on set causes chaos in Stamford productions latest movie. With the premiere date left unchanged, they must find a new lead actor and reshoot an entire movie in two months. Sherlock Holmes goes undercover as a lead actor in a Musical: a juggling act to solve a murder while singing, dancing and charming his way through 1950s Hollywood. The last thing he expected was to fall in love with the screenwriter along the way. Or as I like to call it: the case where Sherlock finally gets to dance.

WORKS IN PROGRESS

Children of the Revolution by BadNewsForBrainWork (E, 7,655+ w., 4/? Ch. || WiP || Moulin Rouge AU || Prostitution, BDSM, Multiple Pairings) –  John is an English writer travelling to the small village of Montmartre in Paris, France is hopes of taking part in the Bohemian Revolution. As soon as he arrives, he gets swept up by the revolutionaries and taken to the Moulin Rouge where he meets Sherlock Holmes. He quickly finds himself caught in a dangerous love triangle that could risk his entire career and maybe even his life.

Wood and Wicker by HardlyFair (M, 14,114+ w., 3/8 Ch. || WW2 Historical AU / Hot Fuzz AU || BAMF John, Case Fic, Secret Societies, Secrets, Romance, Humour, Action, Writer John, Murder Mystery) – 1946. Sandford, England. Following the second World War, Sherlock Holmes accepts an unwanted case far in the English countryside to investigate a string of grisly deaths. Problems arise when it becomes clear that no one thinks anyone has been murdered at all, that nothing outside a series of unfortunate accidents has transpired, and that nothing untoward is afoot in Sandford -- no one, save for a small-time columnist from the local newspaper.

Christmas in Honeycutt by helloliriels (T, 27,950+ w., 14/23 Ch. || WIP || Christmas in Connecticut AU / WWII AU || Kidnapping, Spies / Secret Agents, Codes & Ciphers, Past Relationships, Developing Relationship, Fake Marriage, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending) – John's publisher asks if his family could entertain a war hero at their idyllic estate in Somerset for Christmas. Only ... John doesn't have a wife ... or a daughter. Or an estate. He has a bedsit. In London. And some wounds of his own to recover from ... but he can't tell his publisher that or he'll get fired … What's a writer to do? Cracking Codes. Super Spies. Sherlock in Disguise. A wild Christmas romance set in the countryside! Just what the doctor ordered! Part 6 of the Liriels Chaptered Fics series

Novel by lifeonmars (M, 50,264+ w., 10/? Ch. || WiP || Author AU || Fairy Tales / Red Riding Hood Elements, Fantasy, Writer’s Block, Falling in Love, Peter Pan References, Slow Burn, Romance, Writer John, Editor Sherlock) – John Watson has writer's block. Sherlock Holmes is the world's best consulting editor. Whether John can write a book is another story entirely.

How Novel Series by StarlightAndFireflies (T, 66,472+ w. across 11 Stories || Series WiP || Writer John / Unilock AU || Book Signing, Flirting, Dating, Shy  Sherlock, Romance, Getting to Know Each Other) – AU in which John is an author, and Sherlock is a fan who comes to his book signing.

[zepskies]

Oooh I'm just gonna dive RIGHT in!!

As he impatiently watched a set of doors once more, he pondered if he was still seeing things clearly or if his kooky mind was playing tricks on him. Adjusting to civilian life wasn’t always easy.

Loll I'm loving how you're writing his internal monologue -- matches his quirky personality well. 😂

Ever wondered why there was so much street construction seemingly everywhere and yet America’s roads were still full of potholes? Russell didn’t.

Again, lmao great personality color, and so freakin' relatable!

“Are you fucking insane?” You stormed towards him, shoving his chest. Whoa, broad! Shit, what had he done? Spent more time at the gym? “No, wait, don’t say anything. I already know the answer to that one!” “I’ll second that,” Colter chimed in with a groan and dusted off his jeans.

LOLL. That's so very Colter. 😂

Full disclosure: There might have been a little bit of a plan. Just tiny, really. Not worth mentioning at all.

Riiiiight. Not at all. lol

There had never been a day in your relationship where you had denied that man a thing – till that last day at least.

Ooooh more questions, more questionssss!

“We worked together when we were both stationed in Baghdad. You know how it goes. We met, and a couple of hours later, we were doing it on the kitchen island of some safe house.” Well, alright, that was braggy. There was a lot more going on than that. Best night of his life, really. But Russell considered it classified.

LMAO. Classified, indeed. 😏 Can I hope for one of your legendary flashbacks in the future??

“Oh, not the UFOs again,” Colter sighed with a shake of his head. “It’s UAP, man. U… A… P,” Russell corrected him once again and let the last letter pop from his lips for emphasis.

Get that nomenclature right, Colter. 😂 But omg I love the brotherly teasing -- Russ just HAD to bring up Reenie multiple times, didn't he? It's feeling very much The Misadventures of Russ and Colter, and I'm so here for it. 🤣

“Well, lookey, what do we have here.” Russell’s eyes zoned in on a plate of apple pie, rubbing his palms in delight.

Of COURSE he's an apple pie fan. Love that little Deanism. 🥧

He was hairier than you remembered. That you knew for sure. If you went back even further, he was also a lot broader, too. When you’d met, he was just a kid – as were you. It was only in the last few years of your relationship that he started to gain some serious muscle and really began to fill out his uniform. And all of a sudden, the tall and broad-shouldered soldier became more threatening – and more protective.

Oooh do tell. 😏 But really, it's clear these two have a long history. (Also, not the "midlife crisis beard" 🤣)

But OMG they were married?!!! And why would she send the papers just to get his attention? Good Lord, so many questions...

A part of you thought this day would never come, so maybe Colter being here was indeed a show of good faith and Russell was finally, finally dealing with his shit.

Ahh, makes sense. It tracks that Russ would be hard to pry open, even to someone he loves and has been in such close quarters with him for such a long time. (LOL Denver Airport. 👌🏽)

“I know. But… he kinda was yours too, right?” Russell’s green eyes meeting yours confirmed your statement. “He still talks about you on his good days. God knows you couldn’t throw a football before you met him.” “Hey, that’s not true. I could throw the old pigskin around perfectly fine,” Russell defended.

Just layers and layers of history between these two. It's so sweet to think Russ had a surrogate dad that actually treated him like a normal kid, teaching him how to throw a football, etc.

Fighting the tears in your eyes, you forced a smile to your lips. “He’s good. He’s a sweet boy. Keeps asking questions about his daddy that I don’t know how to answer…” you scoffed humorlessly but decided to forgo the pettiness. It would be so easy to be mad at him, but not even on your darkest days could you do it. “He’s starting school this fall.”

Oh my GODD. They have a son together too?? What the hell happened between them? She left and took their son with her?

He knew if he continued talking about what he’d missed, he wouldn’t make it out of that chicken coop for the next several hours, sobbing uncontrollably in the hay with the hens.

My heart is truly breaking for him, and now I need to know what the hell he did to make her actually leave him, even though they have two kids. 😭😭

True to typical Wayne, this is an intricate cobweb of a story, Russell AND the reader are infinitely complex, and I'm very interested to see where you take this from here. 💜

The Exit Strategy – Part 2

Summary: Russell is ready to hang it all up and retire, open up a brewery, and enjoy the rest of his civilian life. However, there’s one important thing missing before he can take the big plunge. Luckily, he knows just the right person to help him find it.

Pairing: Russell Shaw x Female!Reader

Warnings: +18, language, minor injuries, a bit of angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, a reunion, more secrets and revelations 😉

Word Count: 6.3k

A/N: Guess, the cat's outta the bag! Couldn't reveal too much about the reader beforehand without ruining the surprise now, could I? 🤓 Cozy up in your favorite chair with eggnog. Hope you have some lovely holidays, guys ❤️

Main Masterlist || Series Masterlist || Tag List

Part 2: This Is a Russell Mission

If Russell hated one thing in this world, it was playing The Waiting Game. The thought of being helplessly stuck inside a car with his hands metaphorically tied behind his back nearly wrecked his sanity. Well, whatever was left of it, anyways.

Colter had a point. Russell knew he could be a little paranoid sometimes, but considering everything he’d seen and done in his life, who could honestly blame him? It was only natural to feel a certain level of paranoia in his particular line of work. It kept him on his toes and, therefore, alive.

But maybe it had nothing to do with the job as he had always told himself. It might have been just a family trait he had inherited. And, well, he hated that fact even more than The Waiting Game.

As he impatiently watched a set of doors once more, he pondered if he was still seeing things clearly or if his kooky mind was playing tricks on him. Adjusting to civilian life wasn’t always easy.

What normal people would see as a perfectly nice, faithful woman picking up mail from the post office, Russell saw as a dead-drop pick-up.

There was a construction crew about three hundred yards to his right that seemed to be on constant break by their lack of work ethic. They also took turns to watch the supermarket closely. Ever wondered why there was so much street construction seemingly everywhere and yet America’s roads were still full of potholes? Russell didn’t.

And then, there was the cashier who handed you a flyer of some sort, which you accepted with a polite smile and stuffed in your purse. Live drop, Russell noted as he watched you walk out of the store hand in hand with your supposed husband.

It was all so abundantly clear to him, he almost couldn’t believe no one else could see it. It certainly worried him that Colter couldn’t.

What if…

What if he was in fact seeing things? Things that weren’t actually there. Ghosts of his past. No drops, live or dead. No secret surveillance in disguises. No fake husband – just a very real one.

Was that even legal? He figured it was under your new identity.

Russell shook the uncomfortable thought out of his mind and concentrated back on you. You stopped short by a row of shopping carts, exchanged a few words with your “husband”, and headed back inside. His little brother, of course, was hot on your tail, following you back in too.

That was when several alarm bells went off in Russell’s body. His head felt like the Liberty Bell on the Fourth of July. Experience told him: If it smelled like an ambush, it usually was.

Jumping into gear, Russell’s gaze snapped to your husband, who not only unloaded the groceries into the trunk of the car but also loaded a pistol and hid it underneath his sweater vest before heading toward the supermarket again.

Russell sprung into action rather quickly then, snatching his own semi-automatic from the glove compartment. Soon enough, he heard two familiar voices flowing out from a back alley behind the main building. There was no doubt in his mind that it was you and Colter.

As he rounded the corner, he had to stifle a laugh once he saw his little brother down on the ground, straddled by your legs. Russell had found himself in similar positions with you, but they had been mostly out of pleasure.

“If it helps, my name is Colter. Colter Sh–”

“Shaw.”

Russell watched as your hold on his brother swayed and shock claimed your expression.

“Hiya, sweetheart,” he greeted your eyes with a cheeky smile as warmth spread through his heart.

Fuck, he had missed you.

“Russell?!”

Your jaw had fully dislodged itself as you slowly got back onto your feet and let go of your prisoner. But the shock of seeing your ex here of all places didn’t last long till it made way for your anger.

“Are you fucking insane?” You stormed towards him, shoving his chest. Whoa, broad! Shit, what had he done? Spent more time at the gym? “No, wait, don’t say anything. I already know the answer to that one!”

“I’ll second that,” Colter chimed in with a groan and dusted off his jeans. He stretched his sore muscles briefly before glaring at his older brother, who only offered him an apologetic smile and a half-assed shrug of one shoulder.

“Did you tell him to follow me?” you asked and pointed an accusatory finger at his younger brother while still glaring daggers at Russell. The similarity between them suddenly struck you, and you cursed yourself for not putting the puzzle pieces together sooner. “What was the plan here, huh?”

“Oh, trust me, he had no plan,” Colter muttered sourly, still recovering from your attack.

Russell clicked his tongue and sighed, scratching the back of his neck. “Look, he’s right. There wasn’t a plan. I just-… I had to see you. But once I did, well… here we are.”

Full disclosure: There might have been a little bit of a plan. Just tiny, really. Not worth mentioning at all.

You scoffed and shook your head. “You, of all people, should know better. You could’ve blown our cover. Months of work down the drain…”

“I think your cover’s still good,” Russell assured you with that same old lazy grin of his that was scarily charming and glanced at your partner. “Might wanna call off the cavalry, though.”

You shared a look with Tom, your partner during this mission.

“I’ll signal them. Clean up here,” he said, unamused, and disappeared back to the parking lot.

“Road crew in front of the store?” was all Russell asked. You confirmed it with a simple nod. Internally, he celebrated his little win. His instincts were still intact.

You exhaled a deep breath and threw your hands up. You had been so incredibly relaxed before that menace of a man waltzed back into your life – with a goddamn wrecking ball, no less. Now, the tension was crawling back into your shoulders.

“Russ, what the hell?”

Your question wasn’t filled with anger, however. You were just exhausted by today’s surprising turn of events. The life of a spy…

And probably the life with Russell, too.

“I know. I know, okay?” Russell held up two placating hands. Large hands. Warm. “Can we just talk? Somewhere… I don’t know.”

With some reservations, you still nodded. “There’s a church picnic at First Presbyterian tomorrow. It starts at one. We can talk there.”

There had never been a day in your relationship where you had denied that man a thing – till that last day at least.

“Church picnic?” Russell cocked a brow but was only met with your glare.

“Don’t mock. Be there,” you told him firmly and walked back inside the building. You still had to buy that damn milk. Covers were complicated to maintain – much like relationships.

Once you were out of sight, Russell let out a long sigh of relief, followed by a laugh of happiness. Step One was done. Only when the high of his meeting with you subsided, did he notice his brother’s exasperation.

Colter threw his hands in the air and stared at his sibling with incredulous eyes. “What the hell, Russell? What was that, man?”

“Right, yeah.” Russell bobbed his head calmly, smacking his lips. He knew he owed Colter an explanation at this stage of the mission.

“So, I’m guessing she’s not an old Army buddy of yours,” the younger Shaw started.

“No, not quite. She’s in the CIA,” Russell explained at last. He couldn’t help the grin. He was sure Colter would laugh about it eventually, too. Well, here was to hoping he would. “We worked together when we were both stationed in Baghdad. You know how it goes. We met, and a couple of hours later, we were doing it on the kitchen island of some safe house.”

Well, alright, that was braggy. There was a lot more going on than that. Best night of his life, really. But Russell considered it classified.

“Romantic,” Colter scoffed with sarcasm lacing his voice. Honestly, a part of him was happy for Russell. Another part, though, was incredibly furious for obvious reasons. “But I’m sorry – you had me stalk a CIA operative? During, what I assume is, some elaborate undercover mission?”

“It’s actually not that elaborate,” Russell quipped with amusement. “You shoulda seen half the things I’ve seen her do, so…”

“Oh, hilarious!” Colter shook his head at his childish brother. “Are you nuts?!”

“I think we’ve already established that,” Russell chuckled.

“You know, if Reenie finds out about this, she’s gonna kill me,” Colter said, and Russell swore his brother seemed close to breaking into a sweat. “Oh, you think this is still funny, huh? Guess who she’s gonna kill right after? You.”

Russell rolled his eyes at the unnecessary theatrics. “She’s not gonna find out unless you tell her, brother.”

With pursed lips, Colter nodded in defeat. “Can’t say I like you a lot right now, Russell.”

His older brother only snorted a laugh in response. “Oh, c’mon!”

“You probably would find it less funny if you had been beaten up by a 5’4” woman,” Colter continued and pressed a hand to his ribcage, wincing. “Yeah, pretty sure she cracked a rib or two…”

“Don’t be a baby. Soldier up! You’re fine.” Russell patted his back roughly and inspected the swelling nose for good measure, causing Colter to groan in pain once more. “And by the way, pretty sure she’s only 5’3”.”

“What?! No! She’s at least… 5’4”, okay? Probably even 5’5”,” Colter argued, following Russell back to the truck.

Russell’s lips rose to a teasing smirk. “Yeah, you keep telling yourself whatever gets you to sleep at night, little brother.”

“I will, thank you,” Colter deadpanned and unlocked the car. “So, you’re gonna go to this church picnic thing tomorrow?”

“Oh, no, not just me. We are going to this church picnic thing tomorrow,” Russell said with a cheeky grin and slid into the passenger seat.

“Well, you know, technically, I’ve already… found her. This is usually where my job ends,” Colter said with a tight smile and popped the key into the ignition.

“Yeah, well, not this time,” Russell replied, chuckling. “This ain’t a Colter mission. This is a Russell mission.”

“Oh, I got that, yeah. Thank you,” Colter said with a laugh that made his bruised ribs ache. “You know, you could’ve at least told me she was in the CIA.”

“Yeah, probably. But this was more fun,” Russell grinned.

“Did you know this whole time this was a clandestine operation?”

Russell sheepishly twitched his shoulders. “Well, not when we first got to town, but once I saw her in that outfit, I had a pretty strong inkling. I’m tellin’ ya, even if she had changed her entire life and personality, there’s no way she would have accepted Jesus Christ as her Lord and savior. I mean, maybe if she suffered a traumatic brain injury…” Russell mused and then grinned. “Or if she got abducted by aliens!”

“Oh, not the UFOs again,” Colter sighed with a shake of his head.

“It’s UAP, man. U… A… P,” Russell corrected him once again and let the last letter pop from his lips for emphasis.

“Uh-huh… Did you even need me for this?” Colter leaned back against his seat and quirked an eyebrow.

“Hell yeah!” Russell assured eagerly before changing course. He dialed his enthusiasm back a little. “Well, honestly, I just needed your op analyst. I could’ve used one of my guys, but then that would’ve flagged it with someone upstairs, so… But c’mon! This was fun, right?”

“I don’t know, Russell. I usually prefer my fun to look a little different,” Colter deadpanned.

“With Reenie?” Russell wagged his eyebrows. The huge smirk on his face spoke volumes.

“Would you stop?!”

“‘Sides, this is nice, isn’t it? Us… hanging out?” Russell’s sly grin then morphed into a much softer and genuine smile.

“I guess, yeah,” Colter reluctantly agreed and shrugged his shoulders. But the tiny smile on his face wasn’t missed by Russell.

“Alright, let’s get some fuel,” Russell announced and playfully slapped his brother’s chest. “I’m starving. We also need to find a place where we can park that Airstream of yours. Maybe get a nice fire going, drink a few…”

“What is this? A sleepover? Did you just invite yourself?” Colter really wasn’t used to family members dropping in like this, but he couldn’t deny that it felt sort of nice, too.

“Yeah, I am. I mean, you didn’t offer. Would’ve been the polite thing, you know, considering I saved your ass last time,” Russell retorted puckishly.

Colter exhaled a humorous breath, shaking his head with a chuckle. “Alright, okay… Consider yourself invited.”

“See? Wasn’t so hard now, was it?”

Russell’s nerves leaped through the roof as he set foot onto the church grounds. A part of him expected his boot soles to leave burn marks in their wake on the perfectly green and trimmed lawn, considering his extensive list of sins.

Families, children, couples, and the elderly had all gathered in front of the church. There were picnic tables, blankets, even balloons and a banner. His green eyes, however, landed on the giant buffet, his mouth already beginning to water.

That’s also where he spotted you, handing out cupcakes and slices of pie with a pious smile on your face. Your hair was stuck behind your ears, a headband keeping it tightly in place. Your dress looked the same, only the flower pattern varied, with a tight cardigan around your shoulders that hid any naked skin.

Deceptively innocent, Russell thought, causing his mouth to water for a different reason.

“You okay? You nervous?” Colter checked with a curiously raised brow.

“Nervous? Me? No.” Russell gave a quick shake of his head, but his eyes were transfixed on you. “Gotta admit. That outfit’s doing something to me, though.”

Colter patted his shoulder blade. “Yeah, might wanna keep it in your pants, Russ. Pretty sure you get kicked out for impure thoughts.”

Russell snorted a laugh. “Yeah, probably.”

The Shaw brothers then made their way over to your stand. Russell’s heart thumped louder with every new step he took towards you. And once he was so close he could smell your irresistible perfume, his smile only widened.

You, on the other hand, played your role flawlessly and pretended you didn’t know either brother in front of you. Your brows knit in question, but your devout smile remained the same.

“Gentlemen, how can I help you? I don’t think I’ve seen you here before,” you said and subtly gestured your head to the pastor next to you.

Russell’s brow raised in understanding. He cleared his throat. “Oh, me and my brother just moved here. Looking for a new church. Heard this is the place,” he stated loud enough for the pastor to hear. “You know, we are very devout Christians. I mean, especially my brother here. If he doesn’t pray at least ten times a day, he gets real cranky.”

Colter threw him a look but decided to play along. “Oh, yeah, I just-… I hate that. Can’t pray enough, right?”

“Amen,” you said with all the sincerity you could muster. On the inside, however, you were bursting with laughter. Leave it to Russell to make you smile brighter than the sun.

“Well, you’ve certainly come to the right place,” the pastor chimed in with a cheerful smile that spelled kumbaya all the way through as he shook the brothers’ hands. “I’m Pastor Jeff. Welcome to our little congregation, folks.”

“God can never have enough sheep, am I right?” Russell quipped and wondered how long you’d already been undercover, playing your dutiful role as a Christian housewife. Five sentences in, and he already was at his limit.

“That’s right!” The pastor grinned broadly. “Please help yourselves to our delicious buffet.”

“Well, lookey, what do we have here.” Russell’s eyes zoned in on a plate of apple pie, rubbing his palms in delight.

“Oh, you have to try the pie,” the pastor eagerly suggested and put an arm around your shoulders. “Our Nora here is an excellent baker. Her desserts are a real trend in our community. It is downright sinful. But shhhh, don’t tell the big man upstairs.”

“Secret’s safe with me, pastor,” Russell grinned slyly before meeting your eyes for the briefest second. “Say, do you do marriage counseling too?”

The glare you shot him had enough power to kill him from afar. You might as well have ordered a missile strike on him.

“Oh, my, yes, of course!” the pastor eagerly replied, causing your frown to deepen. “Are you married? Having a little trouble with the missus?”

“You could say that,” Russell earnestly played along and propped up his hands on his hips. “Everything was going fine, you know? And then one morning, just whoosh, gone. No explanation, no letter, no anonymous call from a pay phone…”

“Wow…” The pastor was stunned and enthralled by Russell’s colorful storytelling at the same time. You weren’t, however.

“Well, I’m so sorry to hear that,” you feigned your sympathies with tight lips and a fierce glare at your former lover. “But you know what they say, the Lord giveth and he taketh away…”

“You know, Nora here is right. Our Lord does work in mysterious ways,” the pastor chimed in agreement.

“Amen, Pastor Jeff,” you said, smiling contentiously. “Do you have any idea why your wife left?”

“Oh, I’m afraid she’s as mysterious as the Lord,” Russell replied.

Crossing your arms over your chest, you forced a tight smile. “I don’t mean to overstep, but it sounds like someone was having a little trouble with commitment.”

“It does,” Pastor Jeff agreed. “Why do you think that is?”

Clearing his throat uncomfortably, Russell’s head bobbed, his tongue poking the insides of his cheeks. He was definitely feeling a spotlight on him. Even Colter seemed to curiously lean in. Then, the oldest Shaw clicked his tongue. “Rough childhood.”

Amused, Colter scoffed under his breath behind him. “You could say that.”

“Oh no.” The pastor sent the brothers a pitying look and turned his attention to the younger Shaw. “And what do you do?”

“Oh, uh… Well, before I moved in with my brother here, I lived in a trailer and traveled all over the country.”

“Sounds… lonely,” Pastor Jeff stated worriedly.

“Yeah, this one is a big lone wolf. He has commitment issues too,” Russell replied, earning him a scolding look from his brother.

“Uh, I don’t think we need to overshare, Russ.” Colter gave an awkward smile, turning to you and Pastor Jeff. “He’s kidding. I don’t have commitment issues.”

“It’s a sin to lie, Colter,” Russ noted. His tone was serious, but the twinkle in his green eyes was impish.

“What happened to your face there?” The pastor cocked his head and inspected the younger Shaw’s injuries.

Oof, he looked rough. The skin under his eyes and bridge of his nose were swollen and bruised, ranging in color from blue, purple to black. A thin burgundy line also graced his throat. You had done quite a number on him.

You should kick Russell’s ass for setting you both up like this. Who would do this to their little brother?

“Uh, you know, moving boxes…” Colter stammered with a shift of his weight from one foot to the other, pursing his lips.

Russell was a better liar than him, you noted.

“Yup, walked straight into one of those wood planks,” Russell added, oozing just the right amount of charm and humor to wrap the pastor around his finger. “Tiny thing, honestly, but still got him good.”

Oh, he was so proud of that too, you could tell. He smirked right at you. Well, they were both terrible liars.

“Not that tiny. Big, big plank,” Colter corrected. Apparently, you had bruised his ego, too. “Lucky to be alive, really.”

Yeah, he really was.

“Well, speaking of taking things away, I still have to get the eggs from the chickens,” you said, segueing the conversation to an exit strategy. “Excuse me.”

“Oh, you have chickens here?” Russell enthusiastically slapped Colter’s arm. “Did you hear that? They have chickens.”

“Yeah, uh, very exciting,” Colter said, subtly clearing his throat.

“We’ve always wanted chickens,” Russell clarified for the pastor, joining you by your side as you rounded the table. It wasn’t true, though. The brothers actually had a chicken coop at the cabin when they were kids and hated it. The hens were noisy, the rooster was the worst, and it was always a mess to clean up. “I love those clucking little buggers. And now that we have a big backyard… Mind if I come along and check out your setup?”

“Not at all,” you replied with a friendly smile.

“Great. Be right back,” Russell told his brother, hurrying after you before he eloquently made a U-turn back to the stand and grabbed a plate of pie.

“Take your time,” Colter said through a pressed smile, although he wondered how long he’d be stuck here for with the pastor and your fake husband.

“Clear,” you said and held the creaking wooden door of the coop open for Russell to follow inside. As soon as it fell shut behind you two, you crossed your arms. “Okay, talk.”

“What? Here? Now?” With squinted eyes and a cocked brow, Russell looked around the small and dark space full of farm fowl, hay, and feathers.

You threw your arms up in exasperation. “You said you wanted to talk, so talk. What’s wrong with this place?”

“Nothing,” Russell said timidly and swallowed. He scratched the back of his neck. “You know, I just imagined this conversation a thousand times in my head, and it never happened in a chicken coop on church grounds.”

“Adorable,” you commented unamused, your brow knitting even more.

“All I’m sayin’ is, this just takes some time gettin’ used to…”

“Get used to it faster.”

Russell sighed. Then you did.

You softened your stance, crossed arms falling freely to your sides. “I’ve missed you,” you said earnestly and gifted him a small smile, taking in his changed appearance for the first time in detail.

He was hairier than you remembered. That you knew for sure. If you went back even further, he was also a lot broader, too. When you’d met, he was just a kid – as were you. It was only in the last few years of your relationship that he started to gain some serious muscle and really began to fill out his uniform. And all of a sudden, the tall and broad-shouldered soldier became more threatening – and more protective.

Now, clean-shaven, young, somewhat naive, and rule-following was replaced by a rebellious, midlife-crisis beard and the matching hair.

Ah, the t-shirt… Mötley Crüe. He found that thing eleven years ago at a thrift store in Arizona. It had a (bullet) hole on the left side of his lower back that you had patched – thrice. Once even with teething floss in a tent.

“How have you been?”

Russell’s head bobbed. He shrugged. “So-so.” Then he smiled. Soft and warm. The first few rays of sunshine on frozen winter skin. “I’ve missed you, too.” Then, the smile disappeared from his lips, replaced by contempt. “Got your divorce papers. Not signing them, by the way.”

“Good.” You smiled weakly. “I didn’t want you to sign them. I just sent them to get your attention.”

The relief that surged through Russell’s body was ineffable. For months, he thought he’d lost you – that you’d finally given up on him for good.

“How’s the new job working out?”

Russell’s lips drew a smirk, flirtatious charm glimmering in his forest green eyes. “What, you keeping tabs on me, sweetheart?”

You matched his expression. “Who do you think recommended you, huh?”

Russell stumped for a beat. His lips pursed, eyebrows drawing into a wondering v. “Well, they said someone did. Just didn’t think it was you.”

All this time, he��d believed you had crossed him out of your mind with a red pen as soon as you’d walked out the door that very morning.

“I told you. I’ll always look out for you,” you replied simply, a caring smile dancing on your lips. “So? Did it help? Are you any closer?”

“Yeah, guess so…” He paused for a moment, his gaze focused on the tips of his boots as he thought. “Not sure it was worth it, though. Actually, I’m fucking sure it wasn’t.”

You exhaled a long breath. You knew this day would come eventually. You knew he’d come back for you. Granted, you had expected him on your goddamn doorstep years ago, but he never showed. Sending divorce papers was a last resort in hopes he’d wake up then. That had been nine months ago.

“Why are you here, Russ?”

“Things have changed.”

Ah. That made things perfectly clear.

Lifting a brow, you crossed your arms again. “Is that why you brought your little brother along? As a show of good faith?”

“Kinda.”

“Poor Colter… How’s his nose?”

Russell wiped your sincere concerns away with a shrug. “He’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it. Just a scratch.”

Just a scratch…

“It’s weird… seeing you two together,” you said. For more than fifteen years, you had wondered. A part of you thought this day would never come, so maybe Colter being here was indeed a show of good faith and Russell was finally, finally dealing with his shit.

That man could easily fill the Denver airport with his baggage.

“You look good,” you noted. You were trained to control your heartbeat, but he had always made your job harder. “Different.”

His fingers brushed his beard as if to emphasize the newness. “Yeah? You like it?”

“Well, uhm, I don’t hate it,” you said rather coyly. Did you want to give him a win? No. But if he stepped any closer, you would falter. Your cheeks blushed as the tip of your shoe drew circles in the sandy ground. Why did your ears suddenly feel so hot?

Russell smiled as heat crept to his cheeks as well. “Your new look is somethin’, too.”

“God, shut up.” You rolled your eyes at him but couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face.

“Oh, I don’t think you’re allowed to take the Lord’s name in vain here,” Russell teased. “Don’t let good Pastor Jeff hear ya.”

You laughed, scoffing. “I hate that man.”

“Pastor Jeff? I can tell,” Russell chuckled in amusement and finally stuffed his face with the first bite of pie, chewing a mouthful as he spoke. “But c’mon, he ain’t half bad.”

“Really? You don’t wanna shoot yourself after spending five minutes with him? ‘Cause I do. And it’s been months for me,” you said. “You don’t know what that man does in his office.”

“You bugged his office?”

“And the confession booth. Two words: game changer,” you said, wide-eyed. Russell whistled lowly. You narrowed your eyes at the half-eaten plate in his hands and the pie crumbs in his beard. You raised a scolding brow. “Did you really have to bring the pie?”

“Do you even know me at all? Of course I did.” Russell then shoved the last bite into his mouth to prove his petulant point. “Did you actually bake this?”

In expectant offense, you stepped back a little, crossing your arms again. “Why?”

“‘Cause it’s good.”

“Do you even know me at all? What d’you think?”

“Thought so.” Russell gave a shrug of his shoulders. “The first bite of this didn’t give me immediate food poisoning.”

“Fuck you. I’m a great cook,” you huffed but couldn’t help the grin on your face. You had missed this – the bickering, the bantering, the fun. And Russell, the sly asshole, knew that, judging by his own smirk.

“There’s a lot of reasons why I love you, but your cooking skills ain’t one of ‘em, sweetheart,” he quipped.

“I’ll use you as shooting practice, Shaw,” you threatened playfully. Russell laughed, but it sounded more secretive than a laugh about a joke. “What?”

Russell’s eyes found yours. “Nothing. This is nice, right? We slid right back into it. Like the last three years never happened.”

“Russ…” You sighed, your heart hurting. For you, they happened.

“Just saying it was easy. That’s all,” he said with placating hands. “How’s the family? How’s your dad?”

That caused you to suck in a breath. You had wondered when he would finally dare to ask. You knew this was the real reason why he was here. “Dave finally married Jill last spring. It was a nice wedding. Florence, Italy. Got to wear a sun hat.”

“That’s good.” Russell smiled softly, although it stung that he wasn’t invited. He had always imagined he would be, once your brother popped the question to his longtime girlfriend. After all, Russell was the one who introduced the couple in the first place.

“They wanted to do it sooner, but because of the pandemic…”

“They shoulda done it ten years ago. I kept telling him to lock it down,” Russell quipped, the irony not entirely lost on him. He knew even if something was locked down, didn’t necessarily mean it would stay forever.

“You did,” you remembered with a fond smile. “They wanted you there,” you added, noticing his saddened expression. “It’s just-…”

“No, I know. Don’t worry about it,” Russell brushed it off with all the coolness he could muster at that moment.

“Russ…”

“I said it’s fine,” he repeated and forced another smile. “So, how’s the old man?”

Silently, you bit your lip and sent him a look that spoke volumes.

“Uh-oh. That bad, huh?”

“It’s the reason why I moved back here. To be closer… As close as I can be with this job. Figured it was best for everyone,” you explained. “In the beginning, he had a lot of good days, you know? Now they just all seem… bad.”

“Yeah… I’m sorry,” Russell replied, dumping his empty plate by the chickens. He stepped closer.

Uh-oh. Now, you were in trouble.

“I’m sorry, too.”

Russell’s brow jumped up. “What are you sorry for? It’s your dad.”

“I know. But… he kinda was yours too, right?” Russell’s green eyes meeting yours confirmed your statement. “He still talks about you on his good days. God knows you couldn’t throw a football before you met him.”

“Hey, that’s not true. I could throw the old pigskin around perfectly fine,” Russell defended.

You snorted. “You could not,” you argued with a teasing smile. “You knew how to kill sweet little forest critters and turn your pee into drinking water. But you did not know how to throw a damn ball.”

“You’re never letting the pee thing go, are you?”

You shrugged. “It was a very memorable trip.”

Russell laughed at that. Then the melancholic sadness returned to his face. “How’s-, uhm, how’s Lewis?”

He’d made it through the list of your relatives, finishing with the most important one. And it stung so unbearably much it broke your heart for him. But in the end, you knew he’d done it to himself.

Fighting the tears in your eyes, you forced a smile to your lips. “He’s good. He’s a sweet boy. Keeps asking questions about his daddy that I don’t know how to answer…” you scoffed humorlessly but decided to forgo the pettiness. It would be so easy to be mad at him, but not even on your darkest days could you do it. “He’s starting school this fall.”

“School, huh?” Russell huffed a devastating chuckle, the tears brimming in his eyes as the lump in his throat only grew. “Shit…”

It was getting to him, you could see, and he hadn’t expected that it would. Knowing Russell, he probably figured he could push through the pain and be fine. But he had never really been fine since the day you met him – and he wasn’t this time either as he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to blink the tears away, and turned his back to you with a hand clasped over his mouth.

“Should I stop?”

It felt like you were torturing him with a cruel new method of some PsyOp. Even if you had cursed this man for the past three years, your heart refused to see him hurt.

But Russell shook his head, finding your eyes again. He offered you a weak smile. “No, uh, don’t. Just tell me something about him, okay? I’m fine. Please.”

Sighing, you nodded in acceptance. “When my dad was better, he and Dave would take him fishing a lot. He loved it. He’s in his ‘backyard adventures’ phase,” you said, giggling softly. “He’s catching frogs and releasing them in the house. Never imagined I’d wake up with an amphibian on my head. It’s been a delightful experience.”

Russell laughed, but it was feeble at best. “I can imagine…”

And I can’t imagine I missed it all, he thought self-punishingly. But the hard part still hadn’t come yet.

“And, uhm…” Russell wrung for words, taking a deep breath. “How’s the baby? Is it–”

“She,” you stated, watching him swallow upon your correction. “Her name’s Amelia. She turned two in April.”

“Huh, girl…” His heart beat faster, grew bigger, and painfully yearned. His feet trembled to get home, wherever that was, and see them, but he knew he couldn’t. It wasn’t so easy, after all. “Guess I was right…” he said with a sad smile.

You had been sure you’d have another boy. However, Russell had bet you ten meatball subs – your craving at the time – that it wasn’t.

“What happened to Ann? Thought that’s the name we picked,” Russell teased in hopes of lightening the mood.

“Yeah, well, if you wanted a say, maybe you should’ve been there…” you retorted.

Russell should’ve known winning you over wouldn’t be as simple as spelling the ABC.

“You’re the one who left,” Russell muttered finger-pointing-ly under his breath.

“Don’t pretend you don’t know why,” you bit glaringly.

Russell swallowed lightly, nodding. “You’re right. I do. I’m sorry.” Pausing, his eyes glanced around the coop before he gestured with a hand at your outfit, looking you up and down. “So, speaking of the kids, what’s going on here? Thought you were done with the deep-covers,” he changed the subject with a clear of his throat.

He knew if he continued talking about what he’d missed, he wouldn’t make it out of that chicken coop for the next several hours, sobbing uncontrollably in the hay with the hens.

“I was. Had a desk job. Kinda…” A desk job in the CIA still never really was a desk job. “I was station chief in Paris.”

“Paris, huh? Fancy,” Russell said, but the joke didn’t reach the crinkles around his eyes.

“It’s the job I took after I left. We only moved back to the States in the beginning of the year,” you explained. “The kids loved it there, though. Lewis still gets a craving for crêpes every once in a while.”

Russell chuckled, even though every story added another bruise to his heart.

“Anyways, I got a job at Langley. Desk. Bought a house not too far from here, actually. It’s nice. Got a big backyard. Even bigger oak tree,” you told him with a smile. “Lewis wants me to build him a treehouse, but I’m not sure I can swing it.”

“I could help,” Russell offered, trying to keep his eagerness at bay when truly all he wanted was to race there and build the damn thing now. “I mean, if I can come by sometime…”

Your heart sank. “You can always come home. You always could, Russ.”

Home.

That four-letter word filled him with so much warmth and longing it brought back the tears in his eyes.

“So, uhm, why are you here and not there then?” This time, he switched the topic because he would’ve kissed you if he hadn’t. “You running a sting on the pastor or…?”

“One of his sheep.”

“Ah.” Russell nodded. “Need any help?”

“From you and Colter?”

“Yeah.”

“No, thank you.”

“Oh, c’mon, just lemme help. The faster you get this done and over with, the sooner you can stop clutching your fake pearls and get home to the kids,” Russell reasoned.

You sighed, knowing he was partially right. You did hate your disguise as much as you hated the annoyingly nosy pastor. Moreover, you missed your children a fucking lot. It had already been three months. Fall was coming soon, and you had promised your son you’d be home by his first day of school.

“C’mon, how did they lure you back in, huh? Who’s the naughty little sheep you’re working?”

“Can’t talk about this here,” you told him, automatically lowering your voice. It was hard to remember who you were right now, when what you were used to be was standing right in front of you.

Russell quirked a brow. “Did you bug the coop, too?”

“No, the pastor’s scared of the chickens, which is why I didn’t bother. But you never know if someone else isn’t listening. We’ve already shared too much. We shouldn’t do this here,” you insisted, and Russell nodded in agreement. He knew the dangers as well as you did.

“Then where?”

You exhaled a deep breath and thought for a moment. You wanted to see him again. You knew he didn’t just come find you to catch up and then leave again.

“Come by the house tonight. Make it look natural. I’ll invite you guys to dinner as a sort of friendly welcome wagon to the neighborhood. The pastor is gonna buy it in a heartbeat. Just give me a good reason to invite you over.”

Russell nodded in understanding. “Alright.”

Part 3: This Is a Heart-To-Heart – SOON 💚

Welp, seems like Russell omitted having a wife and two kids... 🙈😂

I'll post the next part in the beginning of the new year or straight after Polaris has finished. We'll see ☺️

Enjoy the rest of your holidays, loves! Can't wait to read your comments on this one 😉🤍

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[goddessofroyalty]

Hope im not ocerwhelming you with this, your penpal childhood friends jayvik reminded me a lot to my grandparents.

When my grandpa was a 9, his family had a minor car accident in between two towns. My great-granpa ended up helping them and letting them stay at the farm. There he met my grandma, who was olso 9, and asked if he could write to her.

The thing is, mail was a bitch then, what did my granpa did then? He would go with his uncle to the town where my great-granpa worked and give him the letters. To my very stern, very scary great-granpa. He did this for three years until he had to move.

He ended coming back at 22, marching right in to my great-granpa's office and giving him a bone crushing hug. He married my grandma a year later and both are still together to this day.

Your post made me think about this and ask my grandparents, they were really happy to talk about this.

Thank you.

Not at all overwhelming me with this! I love getting asks!

Oh that's such a cute story.

Jayce is exactly that. Yes Silco is scary but getting mail to Zaun is very hit-and-miss unless you know people down there as a lot of Piltover carriers just refuse. So the only way Jayce is getting letters to Viktor (and he wants to get letters to Viktor because there's things he wants to tell him and questions he wants to ask him he didn't think of while he was staying with them) is to give them to Silco. Which first involves little!Jayce finding out where Silco's office is (not a question the front-desk staff in whatever building it's in often get) and then giving Silco the letter.

Silco at least probably drops off Viktor's letters back to Jayce to the Talis house, if only to prevent this small Piltite child from constantly coming to his office to see if Viktor's written back to him yet.

[kaylas-words]

Wisdom from Stephen King's On Writing

So I tested out my new eReader with Stephen King's On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft, and one day and 18 Google Doc pages of quotes later, I found it quite interesting and motivating. These quotes resonated with me most:

I was built with a love of the night and the unquiet coffin, that’s all. If you disapprove, I can only shrug my shoulders. It’s what I have.

Write what you love! Kings of the Wyld by Nicholas Eames immediately comes to mind. I could tell Eames had so much fun writing the book, and it made the whole reading experience that much better. (Highly recommend if you like your fantasy with some blunt, laugh-out-loud humor.)

…let me reiterate that it’s all on the table, all up for grabs. Isn’t that an intoxicating thought? I think it is. Try any goddam thing you like, no matter how boringly normal or outrageous. If it works, fine. If it doesn’t, toss it. Toss it even if you love it. Sir Arthur Quiller-Couch once said, “Murder your darlings,” and he was right.

Don't restrict yourself before you've even begun. I need to remember this more often. "But the audience—" "But the plot—" Write for you. Experiment! Especially in your first draft. Even if it doesn't work out, that's wisdom you can take with you.

You can’t please all of the readers all of the time; you can’t please even some of the readers all of the time, but you really ought to try to please at least some of the readers some of the time.

Something else I like to hear. I tend to put wine glasses in my audience's hands and raise their noses, telling myself they would disapprove if I did it like this, the way I want. But there's also a whole world of others that might just enjoy the same things as me, and maybe I can focus a little more on them. (Key: still keeping some semblance of an audience in mind.)

You must tell the truth if your dialogue is to have the resonance and realism that Hart’s War, good story though it is, so sadly lacks—and that holds true all the way down to what folks say when they hit their thumb with the hammer. If you substitute “Oh sugar!” for “Oh shit!” because you’re thinking about the Legion of Decency, you are breaking the unspoken contract that exists between writer and reader— your promise to express the truth of how people act and talk through the medium of a made-up story. ... The point is to let each character speak freely, without regard to what the Legion of Decency or the Christian Ladies’ Reading Circle may approve of. To do otherwise would be cowardly as well as dishonest, and believe me, writing fiction in America as we enter the twenty-first century is no job for intellectual cowards.

King repeats the importance of honesty in writing, and how it invests readers with a layer of life and meaning. This is something I strive for.

My first-draft characters tend to curse more than they probably should—even the ones supposedly known for being more wholesome—but I should strike a four-letter-word for being out of character rather than for worrying what my parents might think when their unvulgar daughter relinquishes one of her chapters to them.

The book gave me a lot to think about, especially where my process differed with King's, but it was also just neat to hear his story. I need to find some more memoirs to read.