#I just think it’s funny how nice all the hermits are

[thathermitweirdo]

I think we should all write the hermits being jerks more often. Like don’t get me wrong, they’re awesome people who genuinely seem very kind and nice, but I wanna write them as jerks. Literally no reason why. Like, a while back I wrote a Limited Life piece where Etho was a smug and egotistical cheater. Do I think Etho would ever do that? Obviously not, he’s just a silly boy. But i love smug and mean Etho and I don’t know why

[nomairuins]

i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is

[theminecraftbee]

So you don't talk about it.

In a lot of ways, it's a little dumb. It's not like it didn't happen. It's not like you've really forgotten. Memory potions wear off, wear thin; if you've learned anything, you've learned that. You can stare at pictures and say 'that's odd' or 'I don't remember that' or 'I don't talk about her' all you want, but it's not like it didn't happen, it did, it did, and everyone saw it.

But no one else knew what it meant.

So you don't talk about it.

Because you haven't heard from her again, is the thing. (Whichever her it is doesn't really matter, now does it; whichever her you are doesn't either.) The Rift is closed, and the way there is empty, and Joel builds statues you don't talk about, either, because if you talked about the statues you'd have to talk about there, and if you talked about there you'd have to explain how you know, and if you explain how you know you'd have to explain why you don't, and anyway. You haven't heard from her. Not one word. Not one little bit.

(It keeps you up at night, though. Memory potions wear thin, sure, but the mind's even better at forgetting what it doesn't want to know. Some days, you're on opposite sides of the glass. It's not like you don't know, you think, and you turn over in bed, and you look at your reflection, and the thing is--would you know the difference?)

You ask around. You aren't the only one who hasn't heard anything; some Hermits are good at family, but Grian just looks sick when you ask him about it, so it's not strange. It's not strange to throw yourself into rivers and avoid Tango's base. The blimp is nice; it's pretty. You never want to step in an airship again, though, and you aren't building one yourself, and when was the last time you talked to Joe. (It's a good question. Memory potions are at least supposed to wear off.)

You're going to run vaults with Iskall again soon. He asks if Create's still alright. Apparently, you've been looking at it funny. You don't know why you would be.

(You wouldn't be able to tell the difference.)

You don't talk about it, anyway.

No one asks. You think maybe they assume you've heard. You think maybe they assume you haven't. You ask Xisuma about it, and he gets a strange look on his face, and he says he'd rather not talk about it. His fingers twitch like he's shocked. You nod once. It makes sense, really. It's not like it matters anymore, for anyone involved. It's not like the word 'sister' means much, for anyone involved.

(It's not like you remember what side of the glass you're supposed to be on.)

Beef shows you a card he calls your alter ego.

"What an odd thing to make," you say. "What an odd thing to call it."

He asks you to elaborate, and you don't. After all, you don't talk about it.

[happy74827]

Cool Rider

[Steve Rogers x Female!Reader]

Synopsis: When another date ends in disaster, and Steve shows up in an attempt to “cheer” you up, you’re instantly against everything. But it’s Steve, and you should know by now that he never takes no for an answer.

WC: 3859

Category: Fluff

A lot of people liked my other Steve fic, so I felt inclined to make another. This time with a lot more fluff (you’re welcome @summerrivera777777).

『••✎••』

Needless to say, you were shocked when you heard the roar of a motorcycle.

You didn’t do well with dates. In your 24 years of life, you had a total of one boyfriend, and he was the absolute worst. So, in the last six months, you have been avoiding all social activities like the plague and focusing solely on yourself and your future.

That meant that you had become very comfortable being a hermit and avoiding any and all contact with other human beings. You were happy that way.

So why was a man who looked like an absolute God sitting on a motorcycle at the front door of your house?

Well, because you broke that rule a week ago.

In all fairness, the man was cute. A nerdy, awkward kind of cute. And he was a gentleman. And you were lonely.

So, when he asked you for your number, you were too lonely to turn him down. You hadn’t expected him to call, and you certainly didn’t expect him to ask you out on a date. But you also didn't think you would have the willpower to say no.

So you accepted, and it turned out to be the biggest regret of your life. The “nerd” was actually a complete dick, and after 30 minutes, you just wanted to go home. But you couldn’t because he refused to pay for the meal, so you were stuck there with him.

The worst part of the night was when he got into his car and tried to follow you home. He kept insisting that he just wanted to be a good guy and make sure that you got home safely, but you were sure that he just wanted to see where you lived and probably get in a few gropes along the way.

Luckily, you were able to lose him about three blocks from your house. It was a good thing, too, because your phone had died a couple of blocks ago, and you were afraid that if you got caught by him, you wouldn't have a way to call for help.

The next day, you made an executive decision to stay the hell away from men, with the exception of a few nice, safe friends. That was how you ended up here, seven days later, hiding in your room and ignoring your doorbell.

The bell kept ringing, and you knew that whoever was out there wasn't going to go away anytime soon. Groaning, you threw your covers off of your body and stomped towards the front door.

You threw open the door, ready to rip someone a new one, when your angry speech caught in your throat.

Steve Rogers was standing on your front porch.

He was a friend from work, to simplify a very long story. You met him two years ago when you started at SHIELD. You were a tech genius, and you worked closely with the Avengers to keep their equipment running.

Steve was always sweet and funny. You had a lot in common and were very close. After a while, you started hanging out with him and his friends, Natasha, Sam, and Bucky. It was great.

As exceptions to men go, he was definitely a big one. He was a walking god, with the physique and the looks to prove it. And here he was, on your front porch, holding keys that belonged to the motorcycle parked out front.

You looked at the motorcycle, then back to Steve, before your face went blank.

"No."

"What?"

"No."

Steve cocked an eyebrow. A smile tugged at his lips as if he were amused. "No?"

"Nope. Whatever you're trying to sell, I'm not buying."

"Why would I be trying to sell you something? I’m not even selling anything."

"It’s an expression, Steve, Jesus." You said, throwing your hands up in exasperation. Steve might’ve been your best friend, but the guy was such a 90-year-old sometimes. "If you think that I'm going to get on that thing with you, you're wrong. It's death on two wheels."

His eyes widened in surprise, a laugh bubbling in his throat. He looked over his shoulder at the bike, then back to you.

"That's... a little dramatic, don't you think?"

"I'm serious, Steve. It's not happening. I don't trust that thing, and I'm not going to die in some freak accident."

He crossed his arms over his chest, the sleeves of his leather jacket tightening over his biceps. His smile didn't fade as he spoke, which only annoyed you more.

"It's not going to kill you. I’m quite insulted that you would think that I would put you in danger."

"You're an Avenger. You put me in danger just by existing."

His lips twitched, and you had the feeling that he was holding back a comment.

"Look," he said, leaning against the door frame. "You haven't come out with us in weeks, and I'm worried. It's not healthy to lock yourself in your house all the time. With the job we have, there's never a guarantee of tomorrow, and if I were you, I'd want to spend every day living it to the fullest."

His words caught you off guard. He was right. It had been almost two months since you had gone out with the group. You just couldn't find the motivation. You were content being at home, alone. You had gotten a little lax in your friendships, only going to work and coming straight home. And now, with the… issues… with your date, you just didn't have the heart to try again.

You could feel your resolve starting to crumble, but you tried to stay strong.

"That's a low blow, Rogers." You grumbled, crossing your arms over your chest. "But my answer is still no."

"You think that was a low blow?” He scoffed as he pushed himself away from the door and took a step forward.

He was so much taller than you, and his presence was overwhelming. With the added tightness of his clothing and the confidence in his eyes, it tricked your eyes into seeing him as bigger than he really was. He was big, of course, but right now, it felt like he was towering over you.

Your heart began to race, a flush spreading over your cheeks.

"You clearly never played football because if you did, you'd know that this was a real low blow."

Without warning, he grabbed you by the waist and threw you over his shoulder.

"Hey!" You squealed, slapping your hand against his lower back. He was wearing a black shirt and jeans, and you could see the muscles ripple in his back with every step that he took. "Put me down!"

"You're going to have fun today."

"Steve! Put me down right now! I swear to God if you don't-"

"You'll what?" He laughed, the deep rumble making your stomach flutter. "Punish me?"

You huffed as you pounded on his back with your fist. You weren't mad at him, really; you just didn't know how to respond.

Steve practically dragged you outside. You were sure that you looked ridiculous, but you were thankful that you lived far enough away from your neighbors for no one to witness this. When he finally set you down next to the motorcycle, you gave him a glare.

"You're an ass, Steve Rogers."

He gave you a smirk as he swung his leg over the bike, his leather jacket tightening around his arm as his muscles flexed. Personally, you hated leather, but the way it fit him...

"Steve, I’m not wearing the right clothes."

He was quiet as his eyes swept over you. You were wearing shorts and a tank top since it was the middle of summer and you were hot, but he was looking at you like you were covered head to toe in leather.

"We can go buy something and change in the bathroom or something."

He seemed to think for a moment before he gave a single nod.

"Sure."

He started the bike and motioned for you to get on behind him. Goddamn it, Steve.

Sighing, you swung your leg over the bike and wrapped your arms around his torso. It was an incredibly intimate position, with your body pressed up against his and your faces mere inches apart. For a moment, you didn’t even realize when he swung a helmet down in front of your face.

"Put this on, Scaredy-Cat."

"Shut up, I'm not scared. Just... concerned."

He raised an eyebrow at you, his smirk still ever-present. You rolled your eyes before slipping the helmet onto your head.

The engine rumbled beneath you, and Steve revved the engine a couple of times, laughing when you squeaked in surprise and gripped him tighter. You could feel the laughter in his chest, his muscles moving under your fingers.

"Hold on tight, princess. Wouldn't want you falling off."

"You're a dick."

"Language."

"I will push you off this bike."

Steve didn't say anything; he just pulled the kickstand up and eased the bike into drive.

You squealed when the bike began to move, tightening your hold on Steve and burying your face in his back. He didn’t seem to mind; he just chuckled and sped up a bit.

You tried not to scream as he maneuvered the bike through traffic, weaving in and out of cars. It was a terrifying experience, especially since you had the distinct impression that Steve was taking advantage of the situation and driving recklessly.

You felt the wind on your legs and the constant hair strands whipping into your face, but you refused to look up. The speed, the closeness of the cars, and the fact that there was nothing keeping you on the bike except for Steve made it impossible to even think about moving.

When Steve finally stopped the bike, you had your eyes closed tight, and your body pressed completely up against him. Your arms were wrapped around him so tightly he was surprised you could breathe.

He took a moment to enjoy the feeling before gently prying your hands off of him and stepping off the bike. He turned and reached out a hand for you, waiting patiently for you to move. When you didn’t, he moved back towards the bike and took the helmet off your head.

You were breathing hard, trying desperately not to show how scared you were.

"It wasn’t that bad."

You shot him a glare, which made him grin.

"Just... shut up."

He laughed and helped you off the bike, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you close. He was a gentleman, of course, and you couldn’t complain about the feeling of his hard body pressed up against yours, but the sudden closeness was a bit overwhelming.

"Ugh, I think I have whiplash."

"Liar," said Steve with another laugh, be dramatic. You liked it, admit it."

"Whatever, why are you even kidnapping me, anyways?"

"I told you. It's not healthy to sit in a dark room, alone, all day, every day."

"First, rude.” You said, giving him a nudge in the side. He let out a small sound, which made your eyes widen in surprise.

"Did that hurt you, oh Captain, my Captain?"

"It didn't hurt," he grumbled, rolling his eyes. "And second?"

"What?"

"First, rude," he mimicked in a high-pitched voice. "Second?"

"Oh! Yeah, why are we actually doing this?"

That’s when Steve paused. Your heart instantly dropped at his hesitation. Steve only hesitated for two reasons. The first reason would be if he were completely at a loss for words, and clearly, by his recent attitude, that wasn’t the case. So that left the second reason: because he knew something that he either didn’t want to tell you or something he wasn’t supposed to know.

With recent events, it wasn’t difficult to guess what was happening.

"Natasha told you, didn't she."

You were already pulling away from him, ready to go back home and hide in your bed for the rest of eternity, when he caught your wrist.

“Hey,” His voice was softer, and there was a hint of sadness in his eyes. “It doesn't matter. What matters is that you have a good time today, alright? So, forget about what happened, forget about what Natasha said, and just focus on having a good day. Okay?"

“I don’t want a pity date, Steve. It’s nice that you care and everything, but-”

"I'm not pity dating you." His voice was firm, and his face was hard, the complete opposite of the way it was just moments before.

"Then what do you call this? My actual date sucked, and I've been cooped up in my house, so you thought, 'Hey, why not take her out and show her a good time?'"

Steve let out a sigh and shook his head, his fingers loosening around your wrist. "No, no. That's not... I'm sorry."

The change in him was drastic. He seemed to shrink in on himself, and his head drooped like a kicked puppy.

"Steve,"

He lifted his head and looked at you, his baby-blue eyes filled with guilt.

"You have no idea how badly I want to punch that guy for treating you like that.” He spoke softly as if the words were only meant for him to hear. But, as the saying goes, the walls have ears, and the parking lot was pretty damn quiet. “But that's not what this is. You're my friend, and I hate to see you sad. I'm not here just because of a stupid date. I'm here because I care about you."

There was a pause, a heavy silence hanging between the two of you. He was looking at you expectantly, a pleading look in his eyes.

"I'm not going to make you talk about it if you don't want to."

"Okay,"

"And I'm not going to bring it up again unless you do.”

"Okay."

"And, I'm not going to ask you for anything in return, maybe a little more conversation, a smile, maybe a laugh, but other than that..."

A smile slowly crept onto your face. He had the uncanny ability to make everyone else smile, regardless of their mood, and he was the only one who could do it. It’s not that his jokes were particularly funny because they weren't, but it was the way he said them.

He was an awkward, nervous mess most of the time, but when he was confident when he was in his element, there was no stopping him.

"You sure you want to waste all your energy on me, old man?"

His lips twitched at the nickname, his eyes brightening. "For you, doll? Anything."

And there it was. That goddamn smile that made your heart skip a beat and butterflies erupt in your stomach. He was just too sweet, and it was completely unfair.

"Come on," he said, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and tugging you close. "Let's get you something nice."

You smiled as you walked next to him. As much as you hated the motorcycle ride, it was nice to spend some time with Steve. He parked outside a Target, and the two of you walked in, immediately making your way to the women's section.

You took charge almost immediately, going to the racks and picking out different things. Steve followed behind you, carrying your armfuls of clothes as you added more. You went through rack after rack, throwing the things that caught your eye into his arms.

After about the tenth outfit, you turned around and saw him standing there, his arms filled with clothing and a smile on his face. You ignored it or tried to, as you turned back around and went to another rack.

When you finally finished, you had an armful of outfits, and Steve was practically weighed down. He didn't seem to mind, though, and you had the feeling that he had enjoyed his role as a pack mule. When the shopping was done, you ran to the bathrooms and changed into the outfit while Steve waited outside.

A pullover hoodie and a pair of jeans, the closest thing that Target had to leather. Not exactly what you wanted, but it would work. When you stepped out of the stall, you found Steve sitting in one of the chairs, flipping through a magazine. Such a 90-year-old, again.

He looked up when he heard the door open, his eyes sweeping over your form.

"Where to now? The ditch?"

Steve rolled his eyes, a smile spreading across his lips. "You’re an avid book reader, right? What's the biggest bookstore in the area?"

"Are we going to Barnes and Noble or something?"

"If that's what's closest."

You paused, watching his expression. There was no sign of teasing, no hint that this was a joke.

"…Really? Barnes and Noble?"

"Is that an issue?"

The disbelief must have been written on your face because Steve gave a loud laugh, throwing his head back.

"Oh, come on. I can be spontaneous!"

"Sure," you mumbled, trying not to show how happy his statement had made you. He remembered a stupid fact about you that you had told him months ago. And he had stored it, not forgotten it.

You felt like you were in the twilight zone, but you weren't complaining.

Steve bought the outfit and threw the tags away, and the two of you got back on the motorcycle. It was easier, this time, with the knowledge that he had cared enough to listen to your ramblings. Maybe he cared enough to calm it.

You had your face buried in his back, not out of fear this time, but out of comfort. You couldn’t see him smile as he sped up, but you could feel it.

At Barnes and Noble, he sat and watched as you wandered the store, a smile on his face. He didn’t say anything, didn't pressure you into talking, didn’t even try to join in; he just sat and listened as you read him the summaries of the books. You didn’t even mean to; it just kind of happened.

One moment, you were looking through the books; the next, you were reading the synopsis out loud to Steve. He didn’t say anything, didn't make any indication that he was listening, but you could tell by the way his head would turn towards you when you spoke. And once again, Steve was your personal pack mule, carrying the books that you were interested in.

By the end of the night, he had an armful of books, a satisfied smile on his face, and you were laughing. You couldn’t remember the last time you had laughed this much, the last time you had felt so happy.

When you got home, the sky was dark, and the moon was high. Steve followed you inside and set the books down on the coffee table. He had refused to let you carry them, insisting that they would get ruined in your hands. You didn't bother fighting him on it and allowed him to carry them.

"Do you want a drink or anything? Something to eat?" It was obvious you were slightly nervous now, but Steve didn’t seem the notice… or even care at this point.

"No, thank you. I should probably be getting back."

"Oh." You paused, not really wanting him to leave, but you couldn’t ask him to stay. You were friends, that was it, and nothing more. "Okay, yeah."

"Well," he started, his fingers flexing by his side. "I'll see you soon, then?"

"Yeah," you said, giving him a smile. "See you soon, Steve."

He looked like he was going to say something else before he gave you a soft smile and walked out.

Once he was gone, you shut the door and let out a sigh. Today was perfect, and you hated yourself for it. You hated yourself for enjoying yourself, hated that you were able to push away all thoughts of him. It was like the universe was taunting you, dangling the perfect guy in front of your face, and you couldn’t have him.

"Why him, huh?"

"I can still hear you." Steve's voice echoed through the house despite his absence in it, and you internally groaned as you got up to stare out the window. Damn, his super hearing.

You pulled the blinds aside and watched as Steve got on his bike, his helmet still in his hands.

"Steve."

He paused, turning his head towards the house. He couldn’t hear what you were saying now that he was by his bike, not with the closed windows, but he could see the silhouette of your body against the curtains. You lifted it up in an instant, an invitation.

"Steve.” You repeated, and this time he heard it. Loud and clear.

"Yeah?"

"Did you really mean it? That this wasn’t a pity date?"

Steve paused for a moment, his lips slightly parted. After a moment, he rested his helmet on the handlebars and made his way back to you. He stopped inches from you, slightly bending down through the window.

A smile and a simple glimpse at your lips was his only answer. He looked back in your eyes, his expression soft, waiting. He was leaving it up to you, not wanting to push, not wanting to scare. He wanted it, but he wasn’t going to force it.

It was all the incentive that you needed.

You reached through the window and grabbed his jacket, pulling him forward and crashing your lips together. It was desperate and slightly awkward since you were halfway through the window, but neither of you seemed to care.

Steve reached forward and grabbed the side of the window, pushing it open even further and lifting you through. You let out a surprised squeak, which quickly turned into a moan as he pressed you up against the house.

His lips were warm and softer than you expected. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss.

After a few moments, Steve pulled away, his forehead resting on yours and a smile on his face.

"Okay, this wasn't a pity date."

Steve let out a laugh, the breath puffing against your face.

"Good. Glad we established that."

"What was this, then? I've been told that Captain America wasn’t one to put out on the first date."

"Oh, yeah. Definitely not. I'm a gentleman."

"Then what's this, Steve? What was today?"

His arm tightened around you, and he pressed his lips against your forehead, taking a moment to gather his thoughts.

"Like I said, I can be spontaneous."

"Spontaneous," you mumbled, letting out a laugh.

"And," he continued, pressing a kiss to the tip of your nose. "It seems good girls like a little bad every now and then. You especially, given your choice of dates."

"So, is that what this is? Captain America showing me a good time?"

"No. This is Steve Rogers showing his girl a good time."

"Your girl, huh?"

"Yeah," he murmured, his lips inches from yours. "My girl."

And when his lips met yours again, all you could think about was the leather jacket, the motorcycle, and the promise of more.

And a whole lot more bad.

[radiance1]

So, I have a thought.

Sam is a witch, one with a lot of magically raw power and a thirst for knowledge of the Occult.

Dan Phantom, is the fusion between her best friend and his godfather who destroyed the world and is just an overall evil son of a bitch and the only survivor of his erased timeline.

Now, here is the idea.

Sam has lost everything. Her friends, her family, her home and everyone and thing she knew.

How?

Dan Phantom.

He escaped his containment, offed Danny, offed Tucker, offed Jazz, offed the Fentons, etc, etc. He didn't kill Sam, couldn't kill her actually. He underestimated her, thinking that no amount of petty little magic tricks she could come up with would ever hope to stop him.

Which is funny, because that confidence led him to being sealed away by her. Never underestimate the power of an emotionally desperate witch it seems!

Where has he been sealed? Weeell, I'mma take a lil design from some of my previous posts and say that he's sealed in the Philosopher's Stone sitting nice and pretty in the middle of her chest. Which is, admittedly, not the best place but she wasn't picky when someone who destroyed the world in his timeline was trying to, you know, kill her like he killed her friends.

So, after Amity Park has been, mostly, wiped off the map and only her castle left standing she uh. Well, she became a hermit basically. She didn't leave her castle, consumed with grief and hatred for the entity that caused her so much harm and Dan?

Well, Dan is straight up trying to free him, either by killing or taking control of her.

Luckily, he has had no success with doing anything of that sort. So, he could only grumble in her mind, either taunting her or raging at her whichever he feels like in the moment.

About 1 or 2 months after all of this Sam decides to leave the ruins of Amity Park and go... well. Who actually knows where really, she doesn't, like, at all.

I'm also thinking that Dan can like, manifest himself out of the Philosopher's Stone kinda? Like, either chibi or adult is up to you but I like to think that invisible chains bind him to Sam and whenever he steps out of line, she just tightens those chains or something.

Now I'm thinking about combining this with that one au where a speedster or somebody comes back to the past to either stop Danny from turning to Dan or stop Dan before he could destroy the entire world an allat.

I wonder how they would feel knowing that they were too late, Amity Park was destroyed, Dan is nowhere to be found, no on seemed to have survived and very obvious signs of a struggle.

Only to then find out, sometime later, that said world destroying threat from the future is there, they couldn't stop him from forming, but he's bound to a teenage witch who lost everything because of Dan and is basically his 'vessel' now.

[cattimeswithjellie]

The fundamental problem with Scar and Grian when it comes to forming alliances is a difference of expectations. Grian is a tactician. He assumes that in a war or a big multiplayer game, you need to get yourself a loyal team. Anybody who is on your team is your buddy, anybody who isn't on your team is your enemy. That is the only way to win. Anybody who won't pick a side is not to be trusted, and he is surprised and annoyed if someone won't make their allegiances clear.

Scar, on the other hand, is a diplomat. He never thinks about forming a team because his assumption is that everyone he meets is going to be nice to him. His charisma is high enough that this is true way more often than not. Even when he is being a chaos gremlin, he tends to get away with it for much longer than he probably ought to because he is funny and charming and just a little bit intimidating. He doesn't consider people he makes deals with to be teammates because he doesn't see the world in terms of teams, but as a network of shifting relationships. He is surprised and annoyed when the web starts getting sticky, with various friends starting to want him to fight other friends.

Grian believes that loyalty deserves loyalty, and that if you are someone's teammate you protect each other no matter how you feel. Scar believes that friendship is what it is, and that relationships can ebb and flow with time and circumstance. Note that in Third Life, newly-red Scar seeks to reestablish a friendship rather than confirm that Grian is still loyal to him, and that in Double Life, Grian justifies his secret soulmate by rationalizing that the relationship will in the end also benefit Scar by keeping them safe. Note also that in Last Life and Double Life Scar wanted to live alone but work together and Grian was not at all on board with that because you can trade and borrow and joke from separate bases but you can't really protect one another.

There is always going to be friction in their alliances because Scar wants a buddy and Grian wants a teammate and those two things are not always compatible at all. It's going to be the same thing with Hermitopia because the more Grian tries to loop Scar into the team, the harder Scar is going to fight to get away, while at the same time Scar is very unlikely to actually take sides against the Hermits because they are his friends. Neither of them can get what they want from each other because neither of them have figured out how to make the other understand what it actually is.

Maybe they need another panda sanctuary. I hear that's good for communication.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Creepypastas of your choice with a mysterious reader that has been with slender man the longest/was the first creepypasta

eyeless jack, laughing jack, slenderman, and jeff x reader who was the first creepypasta/has been with slenderman the longest!

NOTE that jeffs part is written as platonic since im still not comfortable writing romance for him, but the other two can be seen as either or! eyeless jack was chosen thanks to the admin personally hcing that eyeless jack and slenderman have beef over living in the same woods, laughing jack was picked because haha funny clown who is also old as shit reader is implied to be nonhuman, to explain how theyve been around for so long so! admin headcannons that zalgo was the one who made all the non-human creepypastas and they may or may not come into play here that aside, hope you enjoy!

EYELESS JACK:

now he doesnt want to control who you hang out and who you dont hang out with... however ej isnt all the keen on the fact that you sometimes hang out with the tall lanky forest demon.. but he holds his tongue. their basic beef is that they mostly fight over space; slenderman is possessive over his woods, and ej fled to the woods after he started eating flesh to live as a hermit... is a little suspicious on how you seem to know so much about the curse-thing that turned from from a human to a man eating monster.. though lets up if you open up about things (cough cough zalgos role in everything cough cough) soooo.... as for actual relationship stuff? honestly as long as you dont bring slenderman around you guys have a pretty solid relationship! especially since you know so much of whats going on you kind of fill him in on a bunch of stuff.. like how people fill in the new guy at work about the drama and lore of the workplace, you know? is a relieved that youre not exactly human, so a lot of his worry of accidentally attacking you while in one of his feral blood frenzy things is minimal... sits.. tension in the beginning that melts as time passes and explanations are given, you know?

LAUGHING JACK:

honestly hes just happy to have someone whos not super young compared to him/was there to see what was going on at least a century ago.. or more (fandom wiki says origin story takes place in 1800s, jack is OOOOOOOLLLD) so its nice having someone he can talk to about stuff from the past. and to joke about stuff from the past... and to have someone actually. GET IT. you know? really strengthens your bond, as well as reassures him that youre likely not going to die anytime soon due to your mortality... i always think about that stuff for immortal characters/characters who can technically outlive everyone, especially for jack since i feel he has abandonment issues... shrugs... you guys probably exchange tips and tricks for loads of things. just two old people in love but they both act like reckless young adults (assuming reader matches his energy). has no huge thoughts or opinions on slenderman since i dont think they would interact often :0

SLENDERMAN:

i mean i think it would be a given that you guys, against all odds, have stuck together and grown close. slenderman is reclusive, very much so. i mention that eyeless jack is a hermit, so naturally ej doesnt connect with many people. but slenderman takes that to a whole new level. i mean he barely even interacts with his proxies (still dont know how im going to write toby, masky, and hoodie. esp masky n hoodie since... theres the creepypasta/marble hornets thing.. shrugs... thats a problem for future admin)

so consider this a huge victory that he hasnt gotten rid of you in some way and has instead let you into his.. well i was about to say heart but i dont think zalgo considered giving him one when it was creating him.. though.. it is nice to have someone just as ancient as him, makes it easier to relate to people AND youre also a creature like him, made from zalgo? even more ability to relate to you.. though its a very quiet dynamic, slenderman isnt much of a talker so i hope you dont mind carrying conversations!

JEFF THE KILLER:

pushing once again that this segment is strictly platonic since admin isnt comfy with writing romantic for jeff so they just had an interesting idea for him!

very similar to eyeless jacks bit where you fill him in one a bunch of lore and how things work, as well as filling him in on the teeny tiny detail that demons and monsters exist. jeff is a little different in admins au/hc, since he kind of just. exists rather than being created explicitly to cause issues + hes new to the being a creepypasta thing (if you can call being on the run and being off the grid for the past decade or so new, admin is working on timeline stuff </3) (new in comparison to the other characters hush hush) so a lot of your dynamic is filling him in on things as well as perhaps even offering some sort of guidance in how to actually go about interacting with these creatures that he know.. just has access to.. torn between dad slenderman because hes not TOTALLY evil and cold in admins interpretation, but also that one jeff the killer vs slenderman fall out boy video lives rent free in his head. the beef would be insane, honestly... jeff doesnt have much of a sound idea outside of you being more of a guidance figure for him... person with their nonhuman guide my favorite trope that needs to be in more stuff especially in horror media where the characters are antagonists and shit

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

Would Blanche let me give him head?

Tw: Well, blowjob, seggs, description of bullying, cum eating, violence

Short answer, Yes. Long answer:

You would have to win him over, though. He's ridiculously shy when it comes to anything outside platonic love and attraction. As charming as he is, Blanche actually never had anyone express genuine desire to bed him. He was by no means ugly, but his whimsy and quaintness made others label him as this unromancable, unfuckable weirdo.

Blanche is almost as if he has a built in magnet for bullies, the closest to a love confession that he got was when the people around him dared each other to ask him out, as a joke. It's funny to them because Blanche is not at all an eligible candidate as a bachelor. The idea of sleeping with him is humorous, hilarious, even. They weren't laughing anymore when all of them experienced the metallic taste of his brass knuckles driven deep into their skulls.

He experienced this treatment for the majority of his life, following him all the way to adulthood and even during his time living as a hermit in his cottage. They just can't fuck the old man and they kept tormenting him because of it.

He yearns to be the romantic gentleman he would see in love films, he yearns to be treated like someone valuable like a protagonist of a steamy romance novel. Alas, he was hurt and used for so long, that he blocked that longing out entirely from his mind, to save him from the unavoidable heartbreak. Unfortunately, even when he is expecting nothing, he still gets let down.

It's not a surprise that he's wary with the notion of romance and erotic attraction. It's already drilled into his being that he isn't desirable carnally. It's an automatic no to anyone who thinks it's a great idea to 'prank' him again.

But you... you're different. You're so special and so lovely to him. Bringing up the idea of sucking him off made Blanche freeze in place momentarily, letting all those horrible, horrible memories flood back in. However, he reminded himself that you wouldn't hurt him, you're his beloved friend. His only, one true friend. It should be okay, right?

He's apprehensive at first, but with enough patience and convincing, you could make him sit down at least. Blanche would drape his hair over the back of his chair, letting it pool on the floor. He would nervously bite on his thumb as you slowly unbuttoned and unzipped his trousers.

Blanche felt like his heart is about to beat out of his chest, how could it not? The only person he loves is on their knees at his crotch level, offering to do something so dirty, something unthinkable. Yet so... intimate.

You would stop when you saw him crying, eyes red and wet. His eyebrows would be knitted together and his lower lip trembles in anticipation. Upon asking what's wrong, he would break out into a sob, covering his shameful face with his hands. He would grow hot and his ears would resemble hot embers, he is so, so ashamed.

"I-I'm sorry, my darling. I'm just- I'm Just... embarrassed." And it was too overwhelming for him to see a growing bulge on his crotch, he had never felt this vulnerable before. Not even after being called all kinds of derogatory slurs by hundreds of people in real life and online. This is a different type of humiliation that somewhat felt nice, because it was with you.

He would draw in the sharpest gasp and widen his beautiful, deep blue eyes when you took him in your mouth. Swirl your tongue around his length, let it touch the back of your soft and slimy throat and enjoy the delicious whines, whimpers and mewls that would escape his mouth.

His moans would be like music to your ears, it's so pathetic and needy. Blanche would have his fingers tangled within your hair, not to force you against his length, but to try and slow you. You would bob your head up and down, occasionally catching a glimpse of his messy, teary face. It almost seems like he's in excruciating pain, but whenever you stopped to ask him if he's hurting,

"No! N-no, not at all. It felt so good, I-I can't describe it. It felt so good..." Drool would drip down from the corner as he watched you with a daze. He would let out a cry when you went back to mouthing his throbbing cock, leaked with excess amounts of precum.

Blanche would convulse as if you passed electricity through him, his eyes would roll back into his skull as he's overcome by immense bouts of forbidden pleasure. His fingers would grow weaker and weaker, at one point even slipping off your head and dangling limply on his sides. More tears, mucus and drool would streak down his once clean and dignified face.

At his climax, his entire body would contract and Blanche would let the loudest, most lewd, most improper moan rip out from his vocals. His copious amounts of cum would take you by surprise as it fills you up to the brim, it's so powerful that some would come out of your nose if you didn't open your throat properly before blowing him.

It will take him half a minute to unload everything, making a mess all over your neck, chest and floor. It would almost look like the bedroom is flooding with semen, some even got soaked up by his curly hair nearby.

It will take another few seconds to recuperate, slowly snapping out of this euphoric bliss that he experienced for the first time in his lonely, lonely life. You would be wiping your eyes to remove the cum that temporarily blinded you.

"O-oh! I'm truly sorry, darling..." He would lean forward, cupping your cheeks and helping you clean your face up from decades of pent up frustration and desperate yearning. "I'm so sorry... oh, look at you. I'm terribly sorry for this..." He would frown, now being brought to tears due to guilt. He would be flicking as much of his semen away from your face. Blanche noticed that you're still holding quite a substantial amount between your tongue and teeth, he would bring a cupped hand next to your chin, expecting you to spit it out.

"My dear, don't-" He would be wide eyed when you decided the remaining load in your mouth, grinning happily and even showing that there is nothing in your mouth. Blanche could only dream to have the tomatoes growing in his garden to be as scarlet as his face right now.

Because of his clean diet, his jizz actually tasted... nice? It's mildly sweet and has a very mild smell to it. It's smooth, creamy and generally pleasant to eat.

"You..." He would be at a loss of words as he processed what you did. Upon realizing what the implications are, that you have a part of him inside you willingly, and in unimaginable amounts too... His cock would find a new burst of energy to spurt one last load of cum, soiling his trousers, chair and your face again.

He would then cry out apologies before hastily wiping away more spunk away from your already painted countenance.

You had to assure him that you're okay, you enjoyed it too, only then he will let out a shaky sigh of relief before looking you with eyes filled with so much love and adoration. He quickly tucks his member back into his underwear and zipped it out of sight, before it could do further damage,

"Thank you, my love. Thank you..." He leans forward to press numerous kisses onto your face, initially not caring that he's also coating his lips with his spunk. Only when it seeped into his mouth did he cringe and shudder.

"Ah, icky." Blanche would laugh, and so would you. He nuzzles his nose against yours and continued giving you kisses while you kneel in front of him.

His eyes would land on the disaster that he created while ejaculating, darting from your drenched form to the floor, and to his soiled hair too. Blanche would nervously chuckle while trying his best to wipe your face using the napkin he tucks into his other breast pocket. "Yucky, yucky." He would mumble lightheartedly to himself while he stares at you with the brightest twinkle in his downturned eyes.

"You're such a blessing to me, I love you." He whispered, urging you to come and sit on his lap, despite knowing that he would get his cum onto his waistcoat too. He tries his best to clean you up, but it's already staining everything. "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

He would love you up in his arms, showering you with praises and kisses for hours if you let him. You would be as giggly as him, as his fluttering lips would be ticklish. In the end, he would bury his face in your shoulder while he holds you close.

"I'm sorry I made such a mess. I got a bit too excited, y-you made me feel things I never felt before. It was... It was so good. I-I don't know what to say except thank you." He would murmur softly before you felt a certain dampness on your clothes, he's crying again.

"You're so good to me, my rose. You're my one and only, I love you." Blanche then presses a long, tender kiss on your lips. You close your eyes and he closes his teary ones, both of you melting into each other and enjoying the warmth.

He would slowly pull away and tenderly massage your jaw, it must have been straining when you did that for him. He isn't one to brag about his size, but he could clearly see that he was too big for you.

"I can't express enough how grateful I am. You're such a wonderful angel in my sad, sad life... How could I ever repay you, my love?" He caressed the side of your face, occasionally picking out hair that clung to your skin. "Would you like me to..." He trailed off, looking away embarrassed.

You got what he meant, you said yes. But only if he's comfortable with it.

"Of course, I am, my dear." He pressed his cheek against yours, hugging you as if you're his beloved stuffed toy. "But... I'm not, I don't- I don't have much experience doing such things."

He held your face and looked into your eyes, you could see uncertainty and nervousness swirling in those ocean blues.

"Will you teach me, darling? I would love to please you too. You have shown me a world that I couldn't even dream of experiencing. I am forever indebted to you and I-I'm having a hard time coming up with methods to show you my unyielding gratitude."

[hollow-lime-green]

hi!! just wondering if you have any stsg fic recs you’d be willing to share? i’m currently gobbling up 2sorcs like a gremlin and looking for something else to read between updates but i only really trust your opinions and characterizations which 🤌🏼🤌🏼🤌🏼 anyways love ur work and hope you’re doing well!!

Ah! First of all, thank you <3 I do have some fics I really like! I shall rec them and give a little anxiety disclaimer at the end.

Fic Recs - Shorties

it would make a whole - by @diggingupgrave 8.8k, T, First Year, Pre-Relationship, Emotional H/C oh i love this fic so very much. this may have been one of the fics that really got me thinking about their characterization in the first place, tbh.

As You Wish - by @haha-funny-valentine 2.5k, T, Post-Star Plasma Arc, Emotional H/C wonderful characterization here and I am just such a sucker for H/C.

The Heart of the Perfection of Wisdom - by @zombieheroine 16.3k, T, Prison Realm Gojo Character Study I took my skin off to check and I am shocked that this fic is not like, Doing Numbers. this fic is SO fucking creative and unique and I just. love. it. Definitely a big inspiration for FIYM. It's like Harrow the Ninth but for Gojo in the Prison Realm and like, oh my god so well done imo.

Longfic Recs with Caveats

and if you take my hand (series) - by @detta-pica 40k (Ongoing), T, Witch AU, Slow Burn Caveat: this is a WIP, and we're in the early part so very much Unresolved Romantic Tension. But I really like the worldbuilding in this and I'm excited to follow it as it keeps going, so big rec here if you like Plot and are down to follow some more ongoing fics. :)

coanda effect - by @bunniehoneys 250k, M, F1 AU, Slow Burn, Eating Disorders, Drugs, Bad Choices I am probably the last person in the world to read this fic so it feels silly to rec, but I'm doing it anyway because I'm a little obsessed. Caveat 1: also technically a WIP for another week or two

Caveat 2: TAGS check the tags. If you are at all sensitive to discussion of EDs, skip this fic, but I think it's done well and adds a lot to the characterization

Caveat 3: I am not caught up on this fic. it's one that I didn't let myself read for a while (see below) but F1 has a special place in my heart (my dad is into it, I used to live in a Gran Prix city, and I have watched WAY too much F1 Lets Play content).

I've been working really shitty hours for the past 48 hours (almost done) due to research that requires specific spans of real earth time. Because I don't have the focus to write right now, I've had the chance to read a little, and I've read about 75% of this gargantuan fic in windowless rooms on my phone, which has to say something about how much I love it lmao.

Disclaimer: I am a bad source of stsg fics because I actually don't read very many. If I read amazing fic then it tends to trigger the "you will never be as good as the old masters" part of the brain, although instead of real art like in the meme, my fic is putting gojo in a minecraft hoodie and making him do the gangnam style dance. Still.

I also get very unhealthy about metrics/numbers, which I mostly manage by using AO3 skins to block stats, but I still have some moments of weakness. So I try to avoid looking at stuff that I know might make me anxious/insecure about my own works and be unable to finish them (this has unfortunately happened to me before in the FE3H fandom, and that continues to weigh on me).

All that to say, there are some really big, nice, and well-loved fics by wonderful authors currently being updated, and I have read almost none of them. So this is absolutely not me saying I don't like their characterizations, I'm just kind of a hermit.

[oh-no-its-bird]

reading ur fic one step three steps rn and I don't usually read oc-insert fics but ichigo is SUCH a menace I love her to death... and the idea of this feral, unchecked little kid being put in kakashi's care is so good. he's gonna suffer so much but it'll be good for him I think 👍 anyway I can't help but wonder how things would go down with the whole. obito thing. because I can't help making everything about my favorite insane guy. do you think they'd bond over their love for making kakashi suffer. do you think they'd bond over their shared affinity for chaos. I don't know I just!! think they have so much potential as a duo ANYWAY sorry for rambling have a nice day

DJFBDKDJDJS IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE HER???

I'm also kind of in the boat of not especially liking or reading oc centered fics, I think making Ichigo was a bit easier for me than it would have been otherwise bc I really went into it treating her like a plot divice. Still am tbh. I love Ichigo but the story isn't there for her, it's there bc of her. I needed someone to stir shit up and bring up some very specific topics and issues, so she became that. And I fell a little in love with her character along the way

Inevitable tbh, it's probably impossible to write a character that much without finding or molding them into something you can like writing

Kakashi absoloutley deserves to be harassed by tiny children, and now he can't escape bc Ichigo is in his fucking house!! She's gonna bring back more (even tinier) children to harass him, starting with Naruto. He will never know peace.

ITS FUNNY YOU MENTION OBITO BC I ACTUALLY HAVE ALREADY WRITTEN SOME STUFF FOR HIM IN THE FUTURE WHENEVER HES INTRODUCED!!

I have so many notes and plans laid out for One Step Three Steps u don't even know

Anyways spoilers for the eventually Obito introduction in the fic, take a snippet for his introduction (it's liable to change tho, we won't be seeing Obito for a while in the fic)

"I . . . am Madara Uchiha."

Ichigo opened her mouth. Closed it. Opened it again.

Finally, in her flattest voice, she went, "No you're not."

The imposter paused, then shook his head and gave a sinister chuckle. It was a decent enough imitation but she'd seen Hashirama give a better Madara impression.

While drunk.

"I understand it's hard for you to believe, but the stories of my death were greatly exaggerated."

Ichigo aimed her best impression of Ojisan's unimpressed face at him. Lip curled in distaste and head tilted to stare down at him like he was a bug.

He twitched. It was a pretty good impression. (Better than his Madara one, anyways)

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am."

"No. You're really not."

"Yes, I really am."

They stared at eachother, locked in stalemate, till she smirked.

"Ok sure, you're Madara-sama. What's my name then?"

"Um."

"Come on, Dara-chan," she batted her eyes at him innocently. "I'm sure you can remember."

He seemed to regain control of myself, straightening up and giving another echo of what might have been Madara's laugh. If he was a crazy cave hermit who'd decided to inject a gallon of cringe fail evil villain juice into his laughter, anyways.

"Come now, Ichigo, I know it's hard to believe but it really is me."

"Ha!" She shoved her hand towards him, pointing triumphantly. "My real name is Hatake Miko! I gave them a fake when I got here, and if you were the real Madara-sama you'd know that!"

"O-of course, Miko-chan, I was just testing you. I had to be sure you were the real Miko I remembered, after all."

"No, I lied I really am Ichigo." She deadpanned, giving him a little peace sign.

He staggered under some invisible weight, making a noise like a popped balloon.

"I don't usually kill children, but . . ." He mumbled to himself, and she scoffed.

"You don't even have his hair." She squinted at him, feeling insulted om Madara's behalf. "You're pretending to be Madara with hair like that? Have some standards.

[eraserheadswatching]

Izuku: Dad, I talk to ghosts

Aizawa: so, you aren't just talking to Hagakure when I find you out past curfew?

Izuku: no, I'm talking to dead people. One of them looks like Kacchan and he keeps standing right next to him to freak me out and it's not nice and all of them need tharapy.

Aizawa; why do they need tharapy?

Izuku: one of them became a hermit and lived in the woods, and the rest of them were murdered by All for One.

Aizawa: *speechless* how have you lived with them?

Izuku: starts crying

(I don't know if you could bounce some ideas off of this but I appreciate the quotes you do. I think talking to ghosts in front of people is extremely funny especially when it's your adopted dad.)

(okay first off thank you for this omg! I'm crying but I have something in my drafts that's something like this that I wanna turn into a story so I might take some of this as inspo but! onwards to the qoute!)

aizawa : Oh shit uh! don't cry? idk? uh?

Nana Shimura : dahm he's bad at comfort isn't he?

izuku still sobbing : Hes trying his hardest nana!

aizawa : WHAT???

Izuku : one of the ghosts!

aizawa : I'm so confused and concerned for your health right now.

one for all users threw izuku : haha mood!

aizawa :OH WHAT THE FUCK HELLO?!

izuku still crying : that was them!

aizawa : uh okay uh right so my son talks to dead people okay cool cool I can deal with this.... WAIT IS THIS WHY YOUR ALWAYS FREZZING TO THE TOUCH????

izuku wiping his eyes : mhm they're clingy! it gets cold when they hug me or be around me rather then in my mind!

aizawa in shock : i need to sit down. I adopted one child but got.... how many?

izuku :... 7 and a half...

aizawa nodding : I adopted one child and got 7 and a half dead people for free.... whag type of deal is this?

izuku laughing a little : you and me both. I thought I was just getting a quirk but I got funky ghosts and 7 more quirks!

aizawa : i need a drink to even think about prosessing this.

one for all users threw izuku : our bad sir if it helps we were all heros and vigilantes..... except two of us

aizawa : Oh.

[rollinouttahere-writes]

Idea you know that Crocodile is a trans man theory? Well if hes Lizard's maternal father and her parental father is Doflamingo?

( drunken one night stand)

I mean it would explain why we never hear anything about her mother

So, funny thing about that. I have a whole doc with lore about Lizard and Doll's mothers, I just never shared it because I assumed no one would be interested.

I personally think that Crocodile made the switch shortly after Luffy's birth if that theory is true, so he is Lizard's biological father.

I'll post the information down below. They're just vague notes, nothing super in-depth.

Warnings for descriptions of childbirth, death, and alcoholism

Lizard’s mother - Akila

Starts out as a housekeeper

Very chatty when Crocodile is around; he picks up on how witty and intelligent she is and thinks it’s a waste to just have her working as a maid

He doesn’t involve her in Baroque Works or any other illegal activity, she is purely managing the casino so that Crocodile can handle his other “business ventures”

To this day, the casino has never operated better than when under her care

She was the whole package: charming, charismatic, intelligent, funny the works

Eventually, they started sleeping together in a no-strings-attached agreement

She gets pregnant

Crocodile isn’t necessarily happy about it, but he entertains the idea and keeps his negative feelings to himself; he decides to let this ride out to see how he’ll feel once the baby is here

Fully intends to quietly dispose of them both if he isn’t attached by the time the baby is born

He gets Akila everything she could need and lets her take time off work whenever she needs to without question, but he never goes to the doctor’s appointments or spends any real quality time with her

Akila does have feelings for him, but she can tell that it’s one sided; she stays anyways because she believes it’s in her baby’s best interest

She goes into labor two weeks early, and it is a very hard labor

Crocodile is there for the birth and stays by her side for all 18 hours of it; assuming the crocomom theory is true even he isn’t enough of a monster to let her suffer this alone like he did with Luffy

Plus, since he doesn’t feel anything for her, he figures he might as well play nice before he kills her

The baby is born, but since Akila is in rough shape and desperately needing medical attention, she is shoved into Crocodile’s arms

For the first time, he looks down at his daughter and everything changes; she stares up into his eyes and Crocodile knows that he won’t be able to kill her

While they’re having this bonding moment, Akila suffers a fatal postpartum hemorrhage

The doctors are terrified that they’re about to be murdered for letting the mother of Crocodile’s child die, but to their surprise he is very understanding 

Akila dying of natural causes here makes everything much easier for him after all 

To keep up appearances, he acts like he’s upset about the loss and has an elegant gravesite built in her memory 

Doll’s mother - Kailani

A distiller who specializes in making rum, owns the business herself

A major introvert who focuses on making the booze and leaving her employees to handle customer interactions

Shanks stops at the island to restock their supplies, and naturally that means acquiring an absurd amount of alcohol

The locals point him to Kailani’s distillery, and he places a massive order

The person taking the order decides to go and get Kailani’s approval first, and she comes out to see who the hell would need that much rum

Shanks thinks she is adorable and is smitten, so he lays it on thick with the flirting; Kailani isn’t used to this treatment since she’s a bit of a hermit and is flustered but charmed

One thing leads to another, and they sleep together before he leaves

11 months later, they’re passing by the island again and decide to stop by, both for the booze and because Shanks wouldn’t mind seeing Kailani again

He strolls right into the back of the store without a care in the world only to stop dead in his tracks when he spots Kailani nursing a suspiciously red-haired baby

Doll is two months old and Shanks is obsessed the second he lays eyes on her, he immediately starts talking about her and Kailani joining him on the Red Force

Kailani shoots this down; both because she doesn’t want to leave her home behind and because she doesn’t feel comfortable raising a baby on board a pirate ship

Shanks tries to convince her but she stands her ground; he seems sad but accepting, he asks to spend the night so he can get some quality time with the baby before he leaves again

Kailani agrees because the promise of a full night’s rest is very enticing

As soon as she’s out cold, Shanks packs up some essentials, takes the baby, and leaves in the middle of the night

There is some pushback from his crew who rightfully point out how fucked up this is, but Shanks is the captain so there isn’t much they can do about it

Kailani never fully bounces back from this and develops a severe drinking problem to cope

[falconearring]

goood day! hope you're doing splendid

if you have the time, would you mind explaining a bit of the lore of your au so far? I'm very interesting in lot of mechanics of aus, and apart from whatever bits you've dropped about the gang and what they're upto, is there any specifics you'd like to add on as a note? this isn't about spoilers, and if doing so might reveal some then it's completely understandable!

I'm really interested in how your story progresses and if not the above, id love to hear what you think so far about it and what you think of the thoughts of people, like their interpretations if have any! thank you for taking the time for this and its completely fine if you don't want to answer

apologies if I came off as rude or too assuming, and for the rather long ask ahah

thank you again! have a great day or night ahead! take care

Hey thank you so much for dropping this in my inbox!! You taking interest warms my heart!

I'm gonna use this ask as a means to drop these headshots and notes. Below is every person who currently resides at the repurposed logging yard. They call themselves the Hermits. All of these people will appear at least once in the comic, and I'm going to do my best to include these little bits of info within the actual story too!

Other members of traffic/life smp will also appear, they just aren't associated with the group established here. So Scott, Lizzie, Jimmy, Martyn, Bigb, Scar and Grian are going to make an appearance later.

As for the setting, we're 2 years into the apocalypse at this point. There are safe guarded cities, but these places are far away from where the story is taking place. The Hermits have pretty much been living their lives completely isolated from other people as a means of keeping safe.

Weather in this universe can be a bit extreme, as the world faces an imminent climate crisis a few years before the zombies start appearing inexplicably. Space stations were in the midst of being established before the apocalypse, with hopes that humanity could reestablish itself in outer space. When it hit, much of the remaining human race was evacuated from the planet as a last ditch effort. The status of the shuttles that were sent up is unknown. The stations being set up really weren't ready to be inhabited so soon, so its kind of iffy whether or not things are going much better up there.

Early into the apocalypse, helicopters would fly overhead looking for survivors and escort them back to safe zones and launch sites. This stopped not long after though, and whether or not they're going to start looking for survivors again is unknown.

As for the zombies themselves, the 'science' behind them is beyond anyone's understanding. Upon being bitten, the body instantaneously progresses through the stages of decomposition and takes on a sickly kind of bruised look. As far as any one can tell, there is no brain activity beyond this point, but the bodies still move inexplicably. Kind of a night of the living dead situation. Important to note that much like a human, if the heart or brain is destroyed they will die, despite not having a functioning nervous or circulatory system. I'm taking a distinctly supernatural approach to them because I just think it's cool.

I have no clue what year this is set in, but the Hermits are residing in the wilderness somewhere in Canada. I'll touch on pretty much all the above within the comic as well, but I thought there was no harm in sharing anyhow because you asked so nicely!

As for the second half, people have said a couple interesting things. Sadly I can't comment on a lot of it because it dips into spoilers! Somebody said they find it funny that Bdubs is probably freaking out while Etho is just chilling and that's absolutely spot on and made me laugh.

Thanks for such a detailed ask, anon! And thanks for your patience, I had to think about what I wanted to say ^_^ Hopefully this is what you were looking for, hope you have a fantastic day!

[thesharktanksdriver]

Hey! Its me again! :D

I love the fact that Reader plays a ukulele to distract themselves away from their thoughts, it's wholesome oml.

*THE TOXIC GOSSIP TRAIN FLASH BLACK*

(ALSO Your post abt Zoro and reader is so funny and gives me the giggles- I love platonic one piece ITS SO UNDERRATED)

Anyways, I have a few random memes and incorrect quotes for your reader and the Determination! Series! Hope you'll like it! :)

———————

*this takes place after Zoro just joined Luffy's pirate crew and Reader is tagging along*

Luffy : Hey Zoro! I just have one question for you

Zoro : What is it Luffy? *His arms behind his head trying to nap*

Luffy : What color is an orange?

Zoro : Luffy you bonehead, the color is just the same as its name. Just like a lemon *he is proud of himself*

Reader : *questioning their decisions*

———————

Crewmate : You're smiling. What happened?

Young!Buggy : What? Can't I smile just because I feel like it?

Reader : Shanks tripped and fell down the stairs today. *Treating shanks broken nose*

Young!Shanks : *with a broken nose* >:( jerk (to Buggy)

: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!

————————

* they're eating dinner*

Reader : Can you pass the salt?

Shanks : *throws Buggy across the table*

— 🛎️ Anon!

Hi!!!!!!

Never thought I’d be getting the honour incorrect quotes for my series from someone else : D

I shall also post some as well

Nami: Every time I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke.

Luffy: Okay, but what is updog?

Sanji: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.

Ussop: No, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.

Y/n: No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.

Zoro : Surely, that’s Uppsala, where’s updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.

Nami: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.

Ussop: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.

Zoro: No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway.

Luffy: What’s a henway??

Nami: Oh, about five pounds

===

*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’*

Y/n and Luffy: Thanks fam!

Ussop: Oh no.

Zoro: Sounds fake, but okay.

Sanji: *A flustered mess*

Nami : Can I get a refund?

===

Ussop: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life.

Zoro: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back...

Y/n: Oh wow, my childhood innocence and My will to live! I haven't seen these in years.

Sanji : I knew I lost that potential somewhere.

Nami: Mental stability, my old friend!

Ussop: Jesus, could you guys lighten up a little?

===

Y/n: *dies*

Luffy: Timer starts now! When are they coming back? I say two months!

Zoro: Bullshit. One month.

Ussop: Nah, half a month.

Sanji , sobbing: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? Y/N JUST DIED!

Nami, scratching chin in thought: One week.

(This one is wayyy to real lol)

===

*after the Squad has been separated for a few years*

Luffy: So what have you been up to recently?

Zoro: Leading a revolution with Sanji.

Luffy: Good for you two! Me, I've joined the mob.

Zorro: *nods* Oh, how cool! That's awesome!

Luffy: I know! Anyway, have you heard from the others? Y/n ?

Zoro: Happily living as a hermit in the woods. Ussop?

Luffy: Wrongfully locked up in an asylum, which reminds me, we need to break them out later. Nami?

Zoro: Cult leader.

Luffy: Yeah, that sounds about right.

[askthehcc]

hey jimmy, whats been your favorite part about the trip so far? (besides getting to see grian again)

Jimmy: Hmm, good question.

Jimmy: well, we've got quite a few fun plans still, and ive had a blast so far...

Jimmy: But honestly, I've mostly just enjoyed hanging out with everybody.

Jimmy: It's been really nice getting to meet all of Grian's new friends and seeing Pearl and Mumbo again.

Jimmy: Its funny cause you don't really notice how much someone's around until their gone.

Jimmy: Like we had a little leaving party for Pearl in the woods back when we were like fourteen or fifteen or whatever.

Jimmy: But Mumbo and Grian just kind of both disappeared at the same time and then Grian came back eventually, but Mumbo didn't.

Jimmy: Like, yeah, he and Pearl came over for Lizzie and Joel's wedding and to see family, but...

Jimmy: [Shrugs]

Jimmy: So yeah, I think getting to see Mumbo again and hanging out at the hermit has probably been the best thing for me.

[cattimeswithjellie]

Stream Recap, PearlescentMoon, 07/08/24

((A nice, calm, chatty stream for three and a half hours where Pearl restocks her flower shop and adds a cute little cafe area, followed by a completely buckwild final half-hour in which Pearl meets Impulse and Skizzleman at Magic Mountain for acts of violence against one another and the server's PG boundaries.))

3:45 Pearl opens the stream in audio mode and greets Chat. Chat wants to know the plan for the day, but they know how Pearl’s plans to go. The plan is “Flower shop stuff!” No redstone today, all the failsafes are in and only hard mode audio is needed for Dyeductions. She will show Chat the redstone she and Xisuma worked on, but it’s functional and doesn’t need tweaked today. It all works! It is time to set a new Dyeductions word, though she doesn’t know if anybody has played the word for the week who wasn’t guinea pigging for her.

6:00 Chat wants to talk about the Doc Llama thing. Pearl said that whole thing was pretty off-the-cuff and as far as she’s concerned, that was totally his fault. She doesn’t deserve to be sued, she only helped Doc! Chat mentions Doc was mostly mad at himself, Pearl laughs and agrees that she had to cut out some of the words Doc used just after his ground-touch, but Doc thinks he has a way out of the consequences and he is okay now. She is also aware that he was trying to play on her sympathies after his death but gave him the moss block anyway. Chat generally thinks the llama thing was very, very funny.

8:00 A chatter says they hope to see Pearl at PAX, Pearl hopes to be at PAX! Another chatter points out that Cleo left Doc a pig to ride on but he immediately killed it. Pearl says that sounds like a very Doc thing to do. Chat wants to go see more Skydoc. Pearl likes the idea, but doesn’t want to be the one poking Doc all the time. She thanks subs and donos, then brings the stream to game view. Pearl is in her storage room. A chatter mentions how much they love the new portal. Pearl says that it’s possible, based on initial reactions, that the portal might stay. Pearl wonders if she can sue herself for the emotional damages. If it does stay, she’s definitely going to improve it so it at least isn’t so monocolored and terraformless. Chat likes the portal a lot.

12:00 Pearl flies towards the flower shop and pauses in Xisuma and Cub’s big new build. She’s still not sure what they are building, but it’s probably the new spawn area for when spawn chunks relocate after the update. It looks pretty thoroughly planned out, though at the moment it is all blank stone blocks. Pearl moves on and finds a single lonely floating tree outside Ren’s perimeter. She hates this tree and lands specifically to remove it. Hopefully nobody actually wants it. She’s interrupted by Nugget shenanigans, but Karn can deal with those. Pearl tells Chat that she has lost her silk touch pickaxe. She tells a story that involves a lot of burning zombies in her shop and an embarrassing death due to the way copper grates get waterlogged instead of spilling water onto burning Pearls, followed by her not finding her pick afterwards until after the time it would have despawned. It’s a roundabout story for “I died and lost my pickaxe,” but it works.

16:10 A chatter mentions that it’s funny that Scar also has an episode called “Malicious Compliance” about a portal. ((Scar’s malicious compliance involved building a nether portal designed to murder people.)) Pearl did not realize that and now feels slightly awkward about the coincidence. She shows Chat her portal. Chat loves the portal. Pearl put minimal effort into every part of it, including the terraforming. She double-checks the portal to make sure it works, it does although she comes out a different mouth. If she keeps this portal, she’s going to need to put a little landing zone in for anyone without an elytra. If she keeps it, which is a big IF. She doesn’t want to, but if the Hermits like it, she will. The Shopping District overall is a chaotic mess filled with indivudually awesome builds, and she is not helping that overall effect here.

19:30 Pearl tells Chat that she got a message from Cub on Discord that she is not being sued anymore because a portal has been built. So that’s something. Chat wants to countersue for the emotional damages of having to build that portal. She mentions that Impulse and Cub both assumed someone not Pearl was building the portal because it’s such an un-Pearl build. Pearl would not mind if other Hermits also wanted to add ridiculous portal bits to the ridiculous portal. Karn brings Nugget to Pearl, but Nugget only wishes to be with Karn. Chat tells Pearl that Hermits love creative ugliness. Pearl buys some books from Cleo’s shop to replace the lost pick. She does collect her coffee beverages, thinking that maybe she can put a little cafe area in the back of the flower shop. She also might be able to buy rockets for her sprinkler system from Cub now that he’s not suing her anymore. She talks about the exploding of Magic Mountain, which was great, but probably will not be in her next episode but rather the one after that.

26:00 Pearl tries to enchant her pick but she doesn’t have enough levels to do it. Bop N Go is probably empty too, so she goes hunting for some XP to harvest. She empties her furnace array, but it mostly fixes her elytra. She has not seen reactions from Etho on her roof prank or from Gem on her voice recording prank. Chat warns her that Etho plans on keeping the purpur roof. Pearl says that is Etho doesn’t put up his own roof, she’ll be back in a couple weeks to replace it with something even less desirable. She explains the principle of harvesting XP from a furnace to curious chatters. Eventually she accumulates enough levels to finish her enchanting and decides to name the new Silk Touch pick Smooth Criminal and the Fortune pick will be named when she has more levels.

36:30 Pearl heads back to the flower shop but is distracted by a strange noise from the Armor Trim shop. Someone has replaced the Ghast head in the alarm system with a goat head, making a godawful goatly racket. She heads to the shop and admires Flower Llama, remarking how surprised she is that it survived a creeper to the face so well. Two Hermits have played Dyeductions since the beginning of the week, but they did not records their scores. Pearl admits to doing some offscreen redstone, just so as not to make every stream a redstone stream. She shows Chat the system she put together with Xisuma’s help: a failsafe to allow for double letter use with no risk of softlocking. She checks the system to make everything is in good working order and that the prize bundles are adequate. Two Os and As are missing from the chest. She finds them in the droppers due to someone’s derpy game behavior, but at least it’s not broken! She will be adding the last four letters to the system soon, but rejects Chat’s suggestion to somehow reject non-word submissions. That would be more redstone than could be fit in the entire world.

51:00 Pearl checks on her rocket sprinklers. She shows off the redstone for it, which needs some refinement, but eating food, gliding with elytra and interacting with a mob will set off sprinklers. Today she’s going to add more decorations to the shop and also build the path up to the shop. As she heads back to her base for supplies, she explains how calibrated skulk sensors work. Pearl wants to use more calibrated skulk sensors now that she knows how to use them. She also mentions how she threw together a concrete converter and was happy because she knows how to make one of those without having to look stuff up or anything. Knowing redstone is neat! She shows Chat the concrete converter, located in her base next to the Mudificator, and talks with Chat about possible refinements.

58:00 Pearl is not sure whether Doc got the wither roses she gave him and that got blown up with him. Chat assures her that he does have them, so she doens’t need to drop by the Skyblock Prison. She gathers up the flowers and bonemeal she will need. Chat thinks it would be funny to set up a mailbox in the sky for Doc, but unfortunately the time it takes to set up a mailbox makes it prohibitive. Nobody’s using the mail that much right now anyway. She flies back to the flower shop, taking a moment to compliment False’s river terraforming and its lovely curves. Chat wants to give Doc more golden carrots. Pearl thinks Doc is just fine where he is.

1:04:00 Pearl restocks her flowers and seeds. The builds for her most recent video was finished less than 24 hours before it aired. Making the redstone failsafe put her way behind and it didn’t even make it into the video! Next video will have Dyeductions stuff in it. Chat is eager for the Dyeduction patch update. Pearl confides that she’d originally wanted to take Keralis on the Hermit tour, but he signed off before she was finished and so she went to find Doc. She also admits that she’s still using Tango’s nether portal after all these months. Maybe that can be her next episode. She considers that for five seconds, then remembers her previous two episodes have both been “Pearl Builds A Portal” episodes. What she really needs is a new storage room. Her storage room is terrible. Maybe she will build a new building onto the base and make it storage. Chat thinks a redstone storage system might be fun. Chat also thinks a Decked Out episode would be fun. Pearl laughs and says that’s not very likely, but maybe redstone storage.

1:12:00 Pearl collects up more pitcher pod seeds to restock her shop. Someone, she thinks Etho, has purchased all her pod seeds already. As she returns to the shop, she talks about possibly adding a single villager to her base just to have some emeralds for wandering traders. She makes a beautiful gliding landing into her shop and tells Chat they should appreciate that because adding the truck has made gliding entrances much more difficult. A chatter asks if this is modded Minecraft. Pearl hmms but says that most of what people think is modded on Hermitcraft is actually just a resource pack. Chat critiques Pearl’s click and drag techniques for arranging seeds in a chest. They are scandalized that Pearl does not use left-click-drag. Pearl tells Chat she will do it from now on.

1:17:30 Pearl feels like making just a quick little farm for pitcher plants. She is so tempted, but she thinks it will not be as simple as the concrete maker and she doesn’t want to do redstone all stream. She sorrowfully grows her pitcher plants manually. A chatter asks about the lily pad shop, Pearl has not planned it yet but she will. They are not urgent because nobody ever buys lilypads or ferns. She wants to make little shops next to her greenhouse, maybe even a little shop on the dock for lilypads. There is a conversation about whether villagers can harvest pitcher plants, chat is certain they cannot. Pearl has ideas about how to do pitcher plant farming, but she needs to figure out how to detect their final growth form. She needs to do some Science! Chat offers her a tutorial, but she wants to do it without tutorials this season.

1:25:30 Pearl gathers materials and prepares for science. She goes back to the pitcher plants and has an involved conversation with Chat about how to count and account for the growth of pitcher plants in a farm. She does some science and is annoyed to realize that a piston will destroy a plant before it is fully grown and curses the name of Mojang for their cruelty. She wishes happy birthday to a chatter and interrogates them on birthday plans and presents. She does more science to see if the plants will grow more than one tick at a time. This is the sort of science that takes awhile. Pearl and Chat talk about the weather. Pearl tries Googling it, but the wiki does not cover that issue. Pearl thinks that if multi-growth ticks are rare enough, she can make a farm anyway. Theoretically a rare jam condition just means that your farm will never overflow. Some chatters are curious about pitcher plants, Pearl shows off the sniffers in their chamber and explains the way sniffers dig up seeds in 1.20.

1:43:00 Pearl cannot resist the siren call of doing a little redstone. Karn raids into the stream. His chat is full of puns today. Pearl explains her idea for an observer-based farm to Chat, then talks with Karn about his stream. Karn sings to her to try and copyright strike her. ((He is unsuccessful.)) Karn has been playing Cult of the Lamb, he says it went “wool.” Pearl suggests it went terribwool. They fight for the affection of the Chat for their terrible puns. Chat is on Pearl’s side, but they are biased. Pearl and Karn are cute on stream for a few moments, then he heads out.

1:55:00 Pearl finishes pitcher plant farming and restocks her shop. She talks to Chat about farming some more, but she is _definitely_ not doing redstone today. She notes that her bundles are running a little low, but she hasn’t had to restock before. She does not realize until Chat tells her that False has her concrete shop open. She immediately goes to visit and critique’s False’s prices. People should have to pay more for concrete than powder! Chat says False has a super-fast converter so there is not much difference in effort to provide concrete. Pearl also spots the blaze rod shop for the first time and complains that she had to go farm blazes in the nether just the other day. There are a lot of shops she doesn’t know about! She investigates Ren’s skulk shop, then has to go see whether Tango or Ren is selling skulk sensors. Skulk sensors are an edge case, but it looks like they are Tango’s to sell.

2:02:00 A chatter makes a joke about suing over the use of “coming soon!” on a sign. Pearl tells Chat that while she likes all the content that lawsuits have made on the server thus far, she does worry that the culture is becoming overly litigious, mostly Chat. A little suing is fun, but it’s easy to go too far. Chat just really liked the court case. Pearl agrees the court case was great, but cases need to be spread apart a bit. She looks at the diorite shop Ren built, then goes and admires Tango’s Fun Gus shop. The shroomlights are expensive, but she hates farming them so she understands. She visits Keralis’s maze and tries it out to get the Boosh Maze trophy. Her strategy is “Always go left.” She finds her way there quickly and gets rewarded by fireworks!

2:08:00 Pearl visits Mumbo’s gold shop and is pleased to see that he’s restocked. She wonders if “improved price” means he has upped the price since last time. She examines his redstone with freecam. Mumbo is still out of item frames. Pearl is desperate to know why he won’t just make a leather farm. She looks at some of the remaining popup shops in the SD and wonders why they haven’t been removed yet, then remembers there is a countdown going. The countdown sand timer, though, does not appear to have gone down at all! She flies over to POE HQ to investigate and finds a trapdoor marked with “Ultra-Redstoners Only!” Deciding she is clearly worthy of the title of Ultra-Redstoners, she descends into the chamber below the sandclock. For all her burgeoning talent, Pearl is clearly not ultra-redstoner enough to understand the intricacies of Scar’s redstone and comes away believing that it does nothing except make a whole lot of noise.

2:13:30 Pearl looks through POE HQ but its interior is still not finished. She heads back to the flower shop and continues critiquing Scar’s immaculate redstone. She tells Chat she’s not going to go up to the Skyblock today in case Doc has been building up there. She doesn’t want to accidentally spoiler any of that. Chat asks her about future farms, she’s got nothing urgent on tap but does want to do that pitcher plant farm. She begins sketching out ideas for the cafe area of the flower shop. She wants hanging plants, but not like the traditional kind. She brainstorms with Chat. Chat suggests getting the table look she wants with armor stands, but Pearl doesn’t want to do too much with armor stands because she likes the vanilla look whenever possible. Maybe armor stands for the hanging plants. As it gets dark, she notes that she needs more lights in the shop.

2:20:30 Pearl tries composters with trapdoors on top for tables, they are not quite what she wants. Chat suggests extended pistons for tables. Pearl tries unextended sticky pistons instead. She likes it okay, but adds some regular pistons so the green is not so GREEN. Chat wants her to extend the pistons, she says she will but wanted the placement right. She goes outside and breaks down a whole stack of redstone ore. She talks with Chat about the difference between local cozy nursery shops and big industrial greenhouses. She wants the cozy vibe. She uses redstone blocks to underlay the piston tables and extend them out of the floor. Chat suggests using torches and saving a lot of redstone, but Pearl likes the blocks. She knows it’s weird, but it’s like using obsidian in the portal corners, she just likes it. And she has plenty of redstone blocks now!

2:31:20 Pearl asks Chat about the redstone difference between honey blocks and slime blocks, Chat explains it to her. Honey cannot be powered, and while both blocks stick to other blocks, they do not stick to each other. This is valuable information for Pearl. She flies home for more supplies. She has to use her new SD portal and considers suing herself. That’s actually a court case she could get behind, her as both sides of the argument, walking from one table to the other as she made her arguments. She wants to do different and unexpected entertainment this season. Hence the Doc hermit tour! She insists that despite what she just said, she did not intend to kill Doc with that creeper.

2:36:00 Pearl spends some time trying to figure out whether a Pina Colada floats. She decides it does not, and thus is suitable for the shop. She gathers plenty of plant matter, including pickles, and notes that she is running low on pickles. She has a hard time finding glow lichen, she needs more. Chat suggests vines, but she does not like how much they spread. She looks for dripleaf and wonders who has the permit. She would love that permit. Chat thinks Beef has Dripleaf, so Pearl will have to bother him about that. She goes on the hunt for dripleaf but cannot go to Gem because of Spoilers. Chat suggests Bdubs or Keralis. Pearl goes back to Keralis’ place and admires his weird diagonal tree. She nabs and replaces a bit of dripleaf and heads home with her prize. She bonemeals a very, very tall dripleaf and knocks it down.

2:44:00 A chatter talks about Hurricane Beryl, Pearl wishes them safety riding out the storm. A chatter asks if she could prank Skizz by adding a nail salon to his law office. Pearl doesn’t get the joke, apparently it is a Better Call Saul reference. Pearl’s decoration efforts are made more difficult by how easy it is to mine up beehives with axes, and also that moss just goes where it wants. Still she persists and decorates her cafe area. A chatter asks if Pearl deserves to be sent to the sky with Doc. Pearl doesn’t understand why she would deserve to be skyblocked. Chat mostly just wants Pearl Skyblock. Pearl very much does not want Pearl Skyblock, but she admires Doc’s fortitude in enduring it. Also if anybody’s going to get sued for not doing server stuff, it should be for not building the Nether Hub.

2:53:00 Pearl runs around underneath her shop and collects all the blocks she spilled while decorating, eventually ending up in the noodles of Dyeduction. A chatter says they feel sorry for Doc because he is just trying to do his thing and keeps being bothered. Pearl is amused by this and says don’t feel sorry for Doc, if he really wanted to be left alone to do his thing, he would have said something. He’s getting so much content! People need to remember that the Hermits are content creators, and if they wanted to be left alone, they wouldn’t be on a big SMP. Doc is having fun and he is a good sport, and he is very able to say something if he is truly bothered by something. She also points out that the Skyblock Prison is close to everyone for a reason, rather than being out by his base or the world border.

2:56:00 Pearl talks more with Chat about potential court cases. The snails v Scar and the Ore Snatcher case are good cases, a lawsuit over a portal, not so much. Chat is concerned that the snails have gone missing, but Pearl doesn’t know anything about that. She also does not know when or if there’s another Life Series. Someone asks if she saw another failsafe model that was posted on the Reddit, she did see it but she doesn’t think it’s better than the one she’s using. She explains why. She does appreciate that people want to help and who are excited about her redstone projects.

3:01:00 A chatter asks Pearl what her favorite series of the Life Series is, adding *wink wink.* Pearl takes that as a cue for silly answers and says Hermitcraft is her favorite, but eventually wraps around to saying that Double Life is her favorite and probably will be for a long time. She gives a chatter tips on making reskinned items for a custom resource pack. She examines the cafe area and likes what she sees, but tweaks the dripleaf chairs into campfire chairs. She talks with Chat about the difference between modded Minecraft (adding blocks) and resource packs (adding textures.) All these fancy hats and trophies look modded, but they’re just pumpkins. She heads home for campfires and thanks subs and donos. A chatter is getting foster kittens, Pearl is excited for them but she could not do it herself because she would get instantly attached and be a foster fail with many, many cats. A chatter suggests making an eldritch pickle monster near Gem’s base; Pearl assures Chat that she is not done with pickle pranks yet (and also that she has told Gem that Gem gets to decide when she is too tired of pickle shenanigans.) She flies back to the shop.

3:10:00 A chatter asks what Pearl’s favorite season of Hermitcraft is. Pearl has been on three seasons so far, a short one, a regular one, and a regular one where everyone is scrunched together, and they are all so different that she couldn’t possibly pick one as a favorite. She likes making her seasons extremely distinct from one another. In chat, Tango sees the new portal and yells “PICKLE PORTAL POWER!” Chat loves that. Pearl makes the new chairs and likes them very much. She needs to figure out lighting and realizes that if she wants froglights under the table, she needs to switch to redstone torches. She does so, with reluctance. It still doesn’t look very bright. She doesn’t think the light actually comes through the pistons.

3:16:00 Pearl thanks more subs and donos, including some missed very old ones. Chat asks if Pearl has tortured Doc today, but Doc is not online. Impulse is online, but he has already done this week’s Wordle, so he cannot be pestered right now. Pearl goes back to the lighting issue. She throws some froglights under moss and calls it good. It looks very nice and Chat is happy. Pearl points out one little secret area in the copper grating where the redstone for Dyeductions can be seen. Everywhere else, it is hidden by leaves. She and Chat brainstorm more decorations and Pearl heads home for more stuff. She mentions that she fully designed most of the flower shop interior beforehand because it takes so long going home and getting new supplies for this sort of freehanding.

3:25:00 Pearl buzzes Impulse over Magic Mountain. They land on the edge of the excavation and Pearl asks how his hole is doing. He says that’s an awkward question but he’s getting things cleaned up. She punches him and says he is terrible. He points out that anything they say these days is liable to be made into a horn. She says that what she said was fine, he’s the one who made it weird! “PG Hermit, my butt,” she mutters. She asks Impulse what the plan is from this point, but Impulse feels like he has done enough of the heavy lifting with his magnificent TNT drop machine and it’s time for the other Magic Mountaineers to step up. They both agree that Grian seemed pretty eager to have a crack at the mountain with his own TNT. Impulse is going to smooth out floating blocks and stuff, a little cleaning up. Pearl is a little sorry to lose all the cool dripstone caves, but there will be some still on the edges of the mountain. Pearl and Impulse’s chats say hello to each other. Pearl and Impulse talk about microphone sound levels, and Pearl tells Impulse that if the silly portal stays, she expects other Hermits to add onto it. Not Veggietales necessarily, but very silly. Impulse suggests the build is reminiscent of the whole Toon Towers vibe from Tango’s S7 build and Pearl agrees. ((The recapper agrees too!)) Pearl whines a little about having her malicious compliance portal be something that people want to keep, and Impulse points out that the gaming district portal is beautiful, so it’s not as though Pearl has anything to prove. Unfortunately, she points out, the SD portal is the one she has to see every day.

3:30:00 Impulse reminds Pearl that if the portal stays, she also needs to build the Boogervator to carry people from the bottom face of the portal to the actual portal level. Impulse suggested the Boogervator and he is still highly enamored of both name and concept. A few flaming arrows rain down from overhead and they idly chat about how Skizz isn’t quite at HotGuy levels of aim yet. But he’s trying! Impulse says he’s about to open the bottom of the hole to the void. Pearl wonders if he’s going to open the entire bottom of the massive hole, but he’s not that ambitious yet. A small void hole will do. Skizz shoots past at full speed, yelling “You guys suck!” during the moment he’s in range, then he’s gone again. Pearl protests that she’s standing still to get shot and everything, but finally Skizz gives up and lands.

3:32:00 Skizz tells the story of how he did not shoot Impulse and Pearl, which mainly boils down to bad angles and skill issues. Pearl and Impulse both loudly warn him that they are streaming, after his F word faux pas on Pearl’s stream the other day. He yells at them to shut up and flies away. “See you later *beep*face!” Impulse calls cheerfully, using his censor button to cover any potential swears. Chat is highly amused. Pearl says he’s not going to live that one down anytime soon. Impulse agrees and is surprised that the clip hasn’t spread further, but his thought is interrupted by Pearl’s death to Skizz’s FailGuy bow. Pearl laughs and admits she saw that coming as she respawns in her base.

3:34:00 Pearl equips some spare gear and heads back to Magic Mountain, still giggling. Impulse has been using dispensers to store Pearl’s dropped gear, and scolds her for not using the bed he placed down. He knows Skizz well enough to realize that Skizz was simply not going to stop until he managed to shoot somebody. He returns her pickaxe and comments on her fancy netherite tools; she can’t believe he’s still using diamonds at this stage of the game and tells him to get mining. Impulse does not like mining for netherite! Pearl points out that it’s kind of soothing to mine in a straight line like that, but Impulse points out that the Nether is pretty mined out at this point in the season. On top of the mountain, Skizz has found a Pillager patrol. Impulse reminds him not to start a raid, Pearl thinks a raid in this enormous dug-out hole would be kind of neat. The patrol enters the chasm area and Skizz begins swooping down to shoot at them, hitting Impulse in the process. Between the three of them, they put down the party quickly and Pearl finishes collecting her things. She polishes off the bannerman with a campfire.

3:38:00 Skizz makes a comment about the bannerman doing a Jojo dance on the campfire, Pearl is confused because her go-to Jojo is Solos, not Siwa. Impulse and Skizz bicker over which one of them is the fan of Dance Moms while Pearl attempts to punch Skizz to death with an unlit flint and steel. He eventually yelps and flies away. Impulse implores Pearl to set her spawn, even as Skizz flies back claiming that he could’ve shot her if he’d wanted to. They both mock him roundly for that, but he is quickly distracted because there is coal ore. Pearl asks Skizz what he wants to do with coal ore and he is not quite sure, but has something in mind with the what that coal ore looks when vines grow over it and it could be a cool look for something. He is not nearly as interested in iron ore, even though there is quite a lot of it exposed in the hole.

3:40:30 Skizz tells Impulse he can’t get over the TNT machine he made, and he’s disappointed Impulse took it down. He should’ve just moved it over a little bit and done it again. Pearl punches Skizz off the edge and into the hole, but he is wearing an elytra and catches himself during the long, long fall. Chat is still happy. Impulse agrees that the TNT machine was amazing, that’s why he did it, but it was in no way efficient given how much TNT it cost. Skizz laughs and backs up the conversation, saying that the casual flex of “It was amazing, that’s why I did it” is definitely Impulse’s next t-shirt design. Impulse writes that down. He says he’s already plugged his merch for the day, then takes a moment to plug the Imp and Skizz merch to Pearl’s stream as well. Skizz takes a moment to flash back to his accidental swearing incident. Pearl realizes she’s pulling a lot of big emotions from Hermits this season, terrifying the unflappable Doc, embarrassing usually-shameless Skizzleman. What will she do next? Skizz says, laughing, that being embarrassed makes him feel human and he doesn’t like it. Impulse and Pearl mock him for that, asking what level he thinks he’s on. Skizz says he can’t be down with these guys!

3:44:00 Impulse is surprised to see Skizz online at this hour, a time when he’d normally be working. Skizz says he started work early today and wrapped a bunch of stuff up, now he’s trying to decide what to do for his stream. Impulse tells his chat to decide what Skizz should do today. Pearl asks Chat as well. Chat wants “Chaos,” “Shenanigans,” “Pranks,” “Pickles,” “A Silly Dance,” and a lot of votes for Dyeduction. Skizz is thinking about Mission Possible. Impulse suggests combining Pearl’s chat’s suggestion with his chat’s suggestion and make Skizz do Dyeduction… as a musical. Chat likes that plan a lot. Skizz is less thrilled and tries to clarify if he has to sing what he’s guessing. Impulse demonstrates by singing “I’m going to guess the word “HORSE,”” and gets chided by Skizz for holding the first part of the last word way too long before putting the S on there. Doesn’t he know that Pearl is streaming? Impulse calls him *beep*face again and says Skizz should’ve seen how Pearl rolled in, asking all kinds of weird personal questions. The first thing she asked him was “how’s your hole”! Pearl insists she meant this one, the stone one they are all standing next to, while Skizz sighs and predicts they are going to get him in a lot of trouble if he sticks around. Chat is having an _excellent_ time. Impulse and Skizz make several more awkward hole-related jokes while Pearl is torn between giggles and grimaces. Impulse says that his chat is used to this sort of antics by now, that Gem corrupted them with the whole Mac and Cheese thing and it was all downhill from there. ((Back at the start of the season, there was a fad for standing around in groups and slapping a salmon head on a noteblock to listen to the squelching sound it made. Gem made a comment offstream about the salmon head sounding like mac and cheese, referencing a viral Vine about how stirring macaroni and cheese makes a noise like a very Not Safe For Work thing. Impulse thought it was just a comment about the funny way mac and cheese sounds and brought it up with her on stream a few days later, much to her chagrin given her very Safe For Work streaming image. She made Impulse watch the Vine onstream (on his phone with stream muted) and he was deeply traumatized.))

3:47:30 What Skizz really wants to do is play Phasmo sometime with Pearl. They’ve done it once for a charity stream, but he wants to again. Chat is so into it. Skizz tries to go sleep through the night, but Impulse sets him on fire and he can’t sleep while on fire. Impulse complains about how long it takes Skizz to sleep. Skizz tries to shoot Impulse with a crossbow from a couple blocks away but misses by a mile and takes off to find more rockets. Impulse and Pearl chat about the TNT drop filming. Impulse says watching Mumbo evaporate midair was so great in the replay mod, and he had to resist doing a Matrix-style slow-motion circle pan around him as he disintegrated. Skizz caught it on replay mod too and was struck by how Mumbo said “I’ll give it a go” and died _instantly._ The three of them all agree that until that point, they hadn’t realized midair collisions were a possibility at all. TNT minecarts are rather different than falling TNT blocks! Their dives through the downpour were reckless, but very fun.

3:51:50 Impulse spots a pink sheep, but they suspect it was probably dyed by Joel to match his city. Skizz finds some coal ore and gets busy with that. Impulse says he’d better get to work, his stream title promises he’s going to blow holes in bedrock. Pearl admits she’s titled at least three streams with “terraforming the flower shop” and it still has not happened. Impulse tells her she’s just addicted to redstone, and he’s happy for her. There’s always something new to learn in Minecraft and it keeps the game fresh. Skizz agrees, saying he’s the world’s worst builder, but he’s having a mini-arc of improvements. He built himself an office but now he needs to do an interior and he doesn’t even know where to start.

3:54:00 Pearl asks Skizz when he’s doing Musical Dyeduction. Impulse echoes that, asking what time Skizz is going to be streaming. Skizz waffles a bit, hoping he can get out of it because he’s already done the word for the week, but Pearl assures him that because it is Monday, she’s resetting the word. Skizz protests he’s not a singer, Pearl says he can go on a singing improvement and building improvement arc at once. He asks it he has to do it on hard mode, she says that’s optional. He asks if it’s going to be a word nobody knows anymore (ie Ergot from testing) or a real word that people know. She says it’s going to be a real and medium-easy word, but they should consider expanding their vocabularies. Skizz says he and Impulse are going to start their own Wordle and it’s going to be all 12-letter made up words. The first word will be “Shickshack,” and that will be fine because more people use it than use “ergot.” ((Shickshack is from an old Phasmo stream where the crew successfully used it to get Scar tongue-tied enough to say “Shit rack” on stream.)) Schnoogins and Nooch are other strong contenders. Impulse is afraid to play it without Pearl there, and Skizz doesn’t want to play it on stream. Maybe playing and singing on stream will be enough to kill his nerves permanently. They talk about Sweeney Todd, the musical Impulse watched recently, until it is time for Skizz to sleep the night away. Impulse shoots at him and hits the bed, catching it on fire. This does not preclude sleeping in it but does make Skizz look like the before image in a commercial for jock itch cream.

3:59:00 Impulse gleefully tells Skizz it looks like a part of his body is on fire, he’s not going to say which but he should maybe see a doctor. Skizz tells him he was having a good dream. Impulse, Pearl and Chat all yell about that, and Impulse says he’s gotta go. Pearl tells Skizz he deserves the musical. Skizz logs off in pretend shame. Pearl tells Impulse that she’s going to log off and send her Chat to him. Impulse promises to behave for the rest of his stream. Nobody believes him.

4:00:00 Pearl heads back to the shop and admits she’s done almost nothing in four hours of stream. She restocked her shop and made tables. She hopes Chat enjoyed it anyway. She reminds everyone that she has a pretty new episode up that they should watch, thanks subs and donos, raids into Impulse and ends her stream.