#I just ship Simon with anyone I like to see this man fucking happy FOR ONCE

[emmster]

Forehead kisses (and little snippet of my cod OC)

[suguann]

an. a little 'and-they-were-roommates' drabble series to get me back into writing because it's been an age. | masterlist | part two

It starts as a situation built off convenience: he needed someone to take care of his place while he was gone, and you needed a place to stay. 

Simon never thought he’d get anything out of it other than coming home to a house that feels lived-in and the entryway clear of envelopes from months of neglecting his mail—another voice throughout the day besides the intrusive ones in his head that spun like a carousel with the word work etched on top. 

It’s not until you show up on his doorstep, three boxes and a measly duffel bag crowding your arms, that he thinks he really should’ve thought this through better. He’ll only realize this after the fact—weeks late, sleepless nights filled with images of daisy-shaped buttons down the front of a summer dress and a smile that nearly knocks him flat off his feet.

As it is, he’ll blame it on the handful of sleepless hours from tiny airplane seats and energy drinks sleuthing through his system that clouded his judgment, then admit it’s nice coming home to a woman who looks pretty reading a book on his living room couch.

Only his soap-slick fist in his bathroom late at night will know the honest-to-God truth. That is if there was ever a god he believed in. 

He never claimed to be a good man. 

(Can anyone claim to be good in his line of work?)

Just an honest one.

So it goes something like this: he tries not to come off as an obsessed, lonely fuck (the jury is out on either) by just existing in the same space as you whenever the opportunity arises—reading the paper while you make breakfast on the stove he hasn’t touched in too long to remember when, flipping through a book Simon didn’t even know he owned while you water plants you picked up on your way from work, watching whatever you have on the telly before you both go to bed—then he’s on a plane, being shipped out to who knows where with a gun holstered to his hip.

Rinse and repeat. 

The fourth time he comes home after an assignment keeps him away longer than expected, he finds you in the kitchen, covered in flour, a cute, frilly apron tied around your waist that he’s never seen you wear before. A smile curls the edges of your mouth as you look over at him, everything in your face soft and attentive—a vision suddenly takes shape.

You with a ring on your finger, Simon calling you his little wife, getting to hold your hand whenever he feels like it, and not because yours accidentally brushed up against his. His hand fisting in your hair, bending you over the counter, your cheek covered in powdery confectionery, fingers rucking up your skirt and apron because he can.

He blinks once, twice, and the little fantasy falls apart. 

Except you’re still in his kitchen, smiling prettily and happy to see him of all things. Imagine that.

Your lashes flutter, making crescent shadows across your cheeks. “How was your trip?” you ask. “You look more tired than you usually do.”

A shrug, a dismissal. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? I have some tea that might help.”

“Tea.” He repeats to fill the quiet if only to stand there a little longer, his bag still slung over his shoulder and his clothes smelling like recycled air. 

“Yeah, I got it from a friend a few weeks ago when I caught this cold that was going around the office.” Sometimes, you ramble, and he can do nothing more than let you get it out of your system—not that he minds. “I swear it’s nothing janky or anything. Just try it; it might help.”

You’re so damn earnest about it that he can’t bring himself to say no.

“Sure,” he says and watches a wide, satisfied smile stretch across your face.

It’d be easier if you weren’t so sweet and gave a sincere fuck about the comings and goings of his life. If the smell of your perfume wasn’t following Simon everywhere—sugary vanilla faintly clinging to his balaclava even after he’s washed it—as a reminder of what’s just out of his reach.

(A mindfuck is what it is.)

[captain-mj]

GhostGaz but like, okay listen

when fics/art do the thing where one is naked and the other is in a suit and tie, I go rabid. Especially when the one dressed up keeps their clothes on when they fuck

Not raunchy, but still :3

Went to twitter and searched this ship up like I do with all ships I'm writing for the first time right? And... wow almost everything was poly141 stuff and not like... actual GhostGaz?? I'd be happy to feed the starving masses

Ghost hated dressed up. It was dumb and he only did it when Price forced him to. Despite all of his protesting for this particular event, he still had to wear it.

Obviously the mask was still on, but he had a suit and tie on. Signature black with a red shirt instead of white. He ran his naked fingers along the fabric to straighten it.

Someone knocked on his door to alert him that he needed to get moving and he gritted his teeth, trying not to curse. He was frustrated, but not quite angry enough to take it out on the random person Price sent to pass along the message. "I'll be right out."

There was no real response but Ghost could see a shadow at his door, so whoever it was, they were lingering. He opened the door to see Sergeant Garrick looking up at him.

Gaz was at just the right height that he had to tilt his head to look at. He looked startled that Ghost had opened the door so suddenly and blinked a bit like an owl at him.

"Sergeant."

"You look good in that suit, sir." Gaz said it plainly and simply. Like it was no big deal.

Ghost felt a bit of heat in his face, but he ignored it. "Thank you, Garrick. Now move."

That should've been it. He expected that to be all there was to it at the very least.

But throughout the entire... party? It was basically a meet up for a few higher ups who usually brought their spouses (and on one horrible occasion, a mistress which Ghost immediately reported to his wife) to talk. A glorified military ball in his opinion.

Anyway, Gaz stared. A lot. He wasn't shy about it. His eyes wandering up and down his body in a way that was horribly objectifying.

Normally, Ghost wring anyone's neck who did that and maybe throw in some threats to put him in the infirmary if he didn't stop staring. But this was Kyle. And Ghost always found it hard to stay mad at him. Never could quite put his finger on it, but most people had that problem.

Ghost eventually just stared back, even letting his eyes wander.

Kyle Gaz Garrick was a pretty man. No doubt about that. He had a beautiful smile, long eyelashes, and could be cold, even vicious if the situation called for it. Also, the long legs he had? The hips? Now that Ghost was really looking, he could pretty easily imagine picking him up and setting him on the counter. Finding out if his skin bruised easy like a peach or if he'd have to work at it.

Ghost regained eye contact and Gaz grinned. Those fangs of his exposed.

"Captain. Have I been here long enough?"

Price smiled at him. "Yeah, you can go ahead and head out."

Gaz flashed a more persuasive smile. "Me too, sir?"

"Sure, Kyle." Price smiled at him and then patted Simon on his shoulder.

Ghost kept a steady pace and sure enough, Gaz was right next to him. "I think you look good in that suit too, Kyle."

"Thank you, Ghost."

"Do you look better out of it?"

Gaz stumbled and used Ghost's arm to steady himself. Ghost wasn't sure how real that was, but it was convincing enough. "Want to find out, sir?"

"You can call me Simon." Ghost yanked him along. "My bedroom."

He didn't miss the victorious little grin Gaz got at that. "Will you keep the suit on?"

"I was planning on it, trust me."

They stumbled into the room and Gaz grabbed the edge of his mask. He paused and looked at him. "Just want to kiss you. Don't have to go further."

"Take it off, Kyle."

Gaz didn't hesitate. Before the mask even hit the floor, Gaz was kissing him breathless. He nibbled on his lips and pressed against his chest.

Ghost did what he thought of in the ballroom. He picked him up, marveling a little at how easy it was to do. He set him on the dresser and started to get rid of his suit.

Gaz was a work of art. Even with his shirt only unbuttoned. Toned, warm skin. Unlike Ghost, he hadn't had a chance to get a bunch of scars yet, but there were a few. A bullet graze here. Small cut there. His mouth quickly found them, licking over them and marking over them. He fought to get the shirt off his shoulders so he could get to more.

“Fucking hell, Simon. I won’t run away.”

“Better not. I’d just chase you down.”

Gaz groaned. “Hot. I think i could get away from you.”

Ghost huffed at him. “Like to see you try.” He bit into the soft flesh of his shoulder, enjoying the softness. Gaz’s pressed his thigh against Ghost’s reaction and he rutted against him immediately.

Ghost pulled off Gaz's pants and grabbed his thighs. Thick and soft, perfect for him to sink his fingers into. He picked Gaz back up and carried him to bed this time.

Gaz laid down on his bed, looking absolutely beautiful in his sheets. His hard cock sat on his stomach and leaked precum all over abs. Ghost grabbed some lube and coated two of his fingers. "You still okay with this?"

Gaz grinned, all sharp and pretty. "Yes, Simon. I am. I'll tell you if you need to stop, okay?" He reassured him, currently running his ankle over Ghost's still clothed side. "Fuck you look good in a suit."

Ghost blushed and Gaz immediately noticed, looking suddenly more smug than before. "You're hot usually. Very commanding. But something about the suit being added..." He bit his lip and Ghost plunged his fingers in to him to shut him up before he said something stupid.

Ghost was never much of a talker and this was no different. Instead, he listened to all the little noises he let out, relished each gasp and moan and whine. His mouth found his nipple and he licked over, enjoying how it made him squirm. His fingers moved almost robotically. Plunging in and out. In and out. Staying the exact same pace as they worked incredibly tight walls open.

His cock was straining against his suit pants now as he pushed in deeper. He eventually pushed a third finger in, reveling in the sweet stretch and the even sweeter whimper it got.

Gaz panted softly. "Alright, you've done your job now get to the main event."

"Don't want to accidentally hurt you."

"i'm a big boy, I'll be fine." Gaz reached down and unzipped his pants, eagerly pulling out his cock. "I see you're a big boy too."

Ghost scoffed at him and pushed him back down. He pulled him to the edge of the bed and lined himself up with one hand and kept a tight hold of Gaz's ankle with the other. Despite Gaz's teasing, he took it slow. He was so tight. Soft and inviting, but he had to work for it.

Gaz bit his lip hard and tried to wrap his legs around his waist. "Simon." He raised his hips to make it a little easier.

Ghost bottomed out and he wasn't sure he ever wanted to pull out. Gaz clenched around him erratically as he tried to get used to how much he was being stretched and it was doing something to his brain chemistry. Scrambling something fundamental until the only thing he could think of was how good this felt.

How was he going to survive meetings with him? Hearing him speak? The entire time knowing he was the best fuck he had ever had and they had barely gotten started.

After a moment, Ghost rolled his hips nice and easy. Gaz's eyes rolled back and he realized he was pressed right against his prostate. He took advantage, pulling out just a little and thrusting back in hard, getting a proper moan out of Gaz.

"I'm going to ruin you, Garrick." Ghost promised before starting to pound into him. He probably should've waited a little longer, made sure that Gaz was adjusted, but Gaz clawed at his shoulders and begged for him to keep going so it couldn't be that bad of a decision. His blunt nails couldn't get through the fabric but it felt good to feel how desperate he made him.

They kissed again and he bent Gaz almost in half, pushing him until he thought it would hurt but Gaz didn't seem bothered at all. He clenched with every thrust, begging Ghost to be as rough as he wanted.

Ghost bit his throat hard. He tasted blood for a moment.

Gaz's begging changed. "I'm going to come, fuck, so close." He clawed at his back, only succeeding in yanking his shirt up.

Ghost lifted up and kissed him again. Gaz bit Ghost's lip when he came and his legs went from simply wrapped around him to being a death grip, pushing him deeper inside. Ghost finished only moments after he did, panting softly.

Gaz kissed his cheek. "Is the suit yours?"

"Yeah."

"Ask me over any time you feel like trying it on."

[aristocratic-otter]

Hey y'all! It's been a busy few weeks, but thank you all who kept tagging me since I last surfaced : @Iamamythologicalcreature, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @monbons, @thewholelemon, @cutestkilla, @hushed-chorus, @whatevertheweather, @prettygoododds, @blackberrysummerblog, @thehoneyedhufflepuff, @ivelovedhimthroughworse, @mooncello, @rimeswithpurple, @emeryhall, @wellbelesbian, @bookish-bogwitch, @ic3-que3n, @shrekgogurt, and @cosmicalart 

I've got a bit from everything to share today. Though the snippet from Cupid's Shield has technically been posted now, as of this morning.

And yes, I can count, I know some of these are more than six sentences. Do I care?

No.

Lol, I hope you enjoy!

From Saving Simon Snow: 

Baz is dead to the world when I wake up. The clock on the dresser reads ten a.m., which surprises me a little—I can’t remember the last time I slept past seven (other than in my jail cell, where there were no clocks and sleeping was pretty much the only thing to do). It doesn’t surprise me, however, that Baz is still asleep. He’s always been sluggish and cranky in the morning. Besides, yesterday was…well, yesterday was a lot. 

I’m still processing everything that happened, but my stomach tells me firmly that processing is far less important than eating, so I slip out of bed as quietly as I can, and dig through our suitcases for something to wear that isn’t sweated–through or jizz covered. 

From the Heart in the Well

“Who are you?” I shout, and if there’s a faint tremor in my voice, it’s not enough for Baz or the unknown above to tell. (I hope).

The creature above doesn’t respond, at least not in words. Instead, it shakes its head and lets out a ringing neigh. It’s a horse! I stare, bemused for a second, before I realise that what I’m hearing isn’t a typical animal sound. Instead, the neighing takes on the clearly recognisable tone of…laughter. The fucking thing is laughing at us!

From Snow Fox

Fiona’s radiating pride. “Brave as a lion, just like his mum,” she says. “You’ll show that mangy Snow Fox what it means to take on a Pitch.”

I can’t help but imagine my aunt's reaction to finding out that Simon knows quite well how to take on a Pitch. 

On my knees, whenever possible.

The thought prompts an unholy burst of laughter to try to fight past my lips, but I’m a master at containing my emotions. Even so, my lips twitch, but I manage to turn it into a polite cough. 

From TikTok Dancer: 

Snow paces at my side in silence with a pensive expression on his face, his hands clasped behind his back. 

My curiosity about this man is burning inside me, and it churns sickeningly in my gut with feelings of betrayal and animal lust. I want him. I hate him. And I don’t understand him. 

But the one thing I won’t do is be the first to break the silence. 

From Stars, Flowers, and Children,

He starts breathing again, but doesn’t speak to me. Not at first. Instead, he rushes to pile wood on the fire and then fumbles desperately for his own fire starting kit in the pouch he carries tied ‘round his waist. I’ve turned to watch him, morbidly curious about how he’s going to react to my betrayal. And it was a betrayal, I’m not fooling myself about that. I knew that Simon desperately wanted a ship to come. I knew how much getting off this island meant to him.

And I denied him that. 

From Cupid’s Shield:

I would have known something was wrong regardless from the way his smiles disappeared (even if he’d never smile at me, he smiles constantly at most anyone else, and I soak his happiness up vicariously every chance I get). 

I was so disturbed by his misery that I was tempted to invite him home with me. I didn’t—my family would have eaten him alive—but I wanted to. 

That early winter afternoon, we were all roused from the torpor of pre-holiday ennui by screams coming from the great lawn. I was in our tower room when it happened, and when I looked out to see a dragon strafing the lawn and Simon Snow running to face him…well, I didn’t think, I just acted. 

I raced out of Mummers and climbed to the ramparts.

From my COBB project:

“Snow, what the fuck,” he says, his voice coming out as a wheeze because of the way I’ve got him squeezed under my own bulk. 

“Shut up!” I snap. “You idiot! You nearly broke [redacted]!”

Baz stiffens under me when I call him an idiot, but when I accuse him, his muscles go slack, meaning I sink into him before I can stop myself. I swallow hard at how nice he feels against me, but then I tense up. This is beyond inappropriate. 

Tags and : @chen-chen-chen-again-chen, @bazzybelle, @dragoneggos, @erzbethluna, @palimpsessed, @frjsti, @fatalfangirl, @letraspal, @martsonmars, @melodysmash, @moments-au-crayon22, @moodandmist, @mostlymaudlin, @onepintobean, @raenestee, @tea-brigade, @upuntil6am, @whogaveyoupermission, @messofthejess, @carryonsimoncarryonbaz, @krisrix, @shemakesmeforget, @larkral, @confused-bi-queer, @theearlgreymage, @j-nipper-95, @facewithoutheart, @best--dress, @nightimedreamersghost,  @thewholelemon, @youarenevertooold, @nausikaaa, @artsyunderstudy, @ileadacharmedlife, @angelsfalling16, @noblecorgi, @alexalexinii,

[alrightsnaps]

The beef you have with Anthony on twitter is very pathetic and also the fact that you PRETEND Violet has haters when all that happened is that maybe a couple of kanthony shippers have said she was a bit too harsh with him cause god forbids audience members feel more connected with the protagonist and not his mom. Also the fact you want Kate to share screentime with Mary and Edwina again when she was treated like crap by them is not it for someone who claims to love Kate. But I guess it's not surprising when you're buddy buddy with that selcouth account who not so secretly hates Kanthony and Kate and has polite convo with the bloggers who call Kate a homewrecking whore. You know your friend writes fic in which Anthony is beaten up and Kate continues to be miserable post wedding for the sake of poor innocent Edwina?And thinks Anthony should give a fuck about Edwina doesn't let him call her by her first name? Tell your friend he eyefucked Kate at the altar in front of her, let me assure you edwina lovers he doesn't give a fuck about her brattiness the majesty. Leave Kate and Kanthony out of your mouth.

aww how sweet of you that you think y'all are the first people to dickride for anthony at the expense of female characters! i can assure you that i've been beefing with his stans since before kate's casting announcement. kathonies are not the first to drag violet to defend him, or even the first stans to demonise their male fave's mother while excusing his own behaviour. sienna/anthony shippers did the exact same thing long ago painting violet as the evil hag who wouldn't let poor little anthony run off into the sunset with sienna in s1.

also why the fuck wouldn't i want kate to fix her relationships with edwina and mary? i've criticised edwina repeatedly for never apologising to kate since day 1. that's something we never saw in s2 so yeah, i definitely want to see that and i consider necessary for them to rebuild their relationship on better terms after the wedding fiasco.

what i consider hypocritical as fuck is being totally ok with kate forgiving anthony when he hardly did enough to deserve her forgiveness after all the pain he put her through, but drawing the line at her stepmother and sister.

anthony literally ruined kate in 2x04 and not only didn't assume his responsibilities as he forced simon to do with daphne in s1, but had the nerve to propose to her sister the very next morning. so yeah, if i can support kate being with anthony in the s2 finale when he was calling her "the thorn easily removed" from his and edwina's lives just two episodes back, because that makes her happy, i can sure as hell root for her making up with the women that have been her entire world for the past 26 years as well.

as far as i'm concerned neither anthony nor edwina did right by kate in s2. edwina because she blamed her for anthony's actions and was ungrateful, when all kate had done was sacrifice after sacrifice for her to be happy. and anthony because he never showed kate the respect he demanded men to show to his sisters and chose to go after her baby sister only to publicly humiliate both sharma girls in front of anyone when they were at the altar.

i'm old enought to be able to form my own opinion about characters instead of joining fandom groupthink or liking/disliking them based on how their fanbase behaves. if that was my criterion i don't think there's a single ship i'd support in the bridgerton fandom, considering that i disagree with most kathony and benophie stans on twitter for always coddling anthony and benedict and excusing their misogyny.

and frankly, i'm extremely uncomfortable with the way you and many kathony stans talk about edwina. y'all are literally victim blaming an 18yo child for falling for a grownass man who went after her and ruined her in the eyes of society. you constanly infantilise anthony when he has more privilege than 99% of men in england, while spending your time talking shit about a teenage girl.

that's not holding edwina responsible for her behaviour towards kate, it's misogyny, plain and simple. she has every right to treat anthony like filth for the rest of her life after what he did to her and be protective of kate, like kate was of edwina when anthony was courting her, after his abhorrent treatment of both sisters.

a 30yo man not giving a fuck about a teenager he strung along and ruined isn't the gotcha that you think it is. except you clearly have such a sexist worldview that you consider him to be the "prize" edwina lost and kate won, rather than a man who hurt them both deeply and took advantage of his privilege over them.

if i should keep kate out of my mouth for wanting to see her have a healthy and wholesome relationship with her family, so should you people for being ok with anthony doing the bare minimum to win her after the hell he put her through.

[1ddotdhq]

💀Wed 28 Oct ‘20🏡

Zayn is back, Louis has pink hoodies (sort of), Liam is tik tokking like a pro, Harry feeds fish, Simon Cowell’s surgery recovery has stalled and is going poorly (great! couldn’t have happened to a more deserving human), but we’ve got too much real news to waste anymore time on that asshole! 

We ended last night with ZAYN SINGING TO US!! Beautiful black and white footage of beautiful Zayn and his perfect voice; he shows us little snippets of himself crooning James Bay's Hold Back the River and Paolo Nutini's Last Request (not for the first time on this one, he did this song before in the lead up to Icarus Falls... more on that in a minute) while reading lyrics off his phone, captioned 'Cover Sessions.' Good god but I have missed his ethereal warbling! The post alone is an unexpected blessing and a gift but the implied promise of more to come?? YES PLEASE I CANNOT WAIT. Some wonder if it could be for a Spotify Sessions, others are screaming about how Icarus Falls' drop was preceded by weeks of black and white cover song videos on instagram (when asked at that time if he was releasing something he said “yes why else do you think I'd be on here singing for you??” LOL, adore this man, but also, hello!) Anyway yesterday we got not only music and the promise of more to come, but also interaction! He chatted in comments, offering a coy 'maybe' to a comment saying 'acoustic', posting laugh cry emojis at his own jokes (“no YOU stop”), and sending love back to his happy zquad, who were of course overwhelmed and over the moon. He's cut his hair off but with all he's given us today can we be sad? It's a small price to pay. James Bay reposted the cover of his song-- “nice one man x.”

Then, Louis officially dropped his Kill My Mind Lyric drop (on the 28th!!!):  the lyric being represented is “the devil in my brain”, and it is indeed a skull with a tophat over a cauldron. The new stuff features the cute little logo embroidered on various black cold weather wear items (including a sweater!) and says 'lyric drop 2' inside the collar of the shirts. BUT! There’s more! We’ve got some more wavy walls hoodies in pink lettering, as well as fuzzy red lettering and a marble red and pink design. Love it! However, it was discovered that this new merch does not ship to India or LATAM (except Costa Rica) and honestly?? RUDE!! Louis’ LATAM fans are the FUCKING BEST (no I’m not biased wdym???). They do, however, ship to Vatican City for some reason so catch the Pope in his Walls merch! Louis did respond to this issue on twitter, though, and said, “I’ll get more info on this ASAP. Anywhere else?” so dioceses all over the world will soon be able to rock out in their KMM merch. Celebtm also came back for round three to tell everyone that they were removing themselves from the narrative until January (good riddance), but not before leaving a message from Michael Straus (ugh) to Louis and his “son” (the quote marks are theirs, not mine, in case you’re wondering where they stand on the issue). Straus’ last hurrah included claims that Briana gets a direct deposit from Louis (or his team) on the first of every month, spends it all immediately and is left destitute for the rest of the month, and that neither Briana nor Freddie have health insurance. He then offered to help Louis get custody of Freddie. Um, right. I’m sure his help would be invaluable. Also, we all agree that he’s a liar and likely doesn’t know shit and is trying to make himself seem like the hero instead of the gross misogynist he is right? 

A story was also released about Harry’s car breaking down in the UK over the summer. He did what anyone would do (I suppose?) and knocked on someone’s door to see if they could help. Well, it turns out their daughter is a fan, so they invited him in for a cup of tea, and allowed him to snoop around her room. They even took a picture of him feeding her goldfish! The photographer who took the picture is (coincidentally?) a professional, who has worked with Kasey Musgraves before. The fan did not get to meet him, but he signed her album, and left her a note promising to meet her at a concert, which he would be inviting them to. Harry has done some other cool things in the last few days (being politically active IS cool), and has started filming DWD in Palm Springs. He was spotted by a fan (though no pictures were released) and he signed her phone cover - it reads “Golden” with a little heart. 

Harry also ignited discourse by *shuffles papers,scratches head in confusion* his endorsement of Joe Biden? Well, there were a few layers to this condemnation. The first were the people who... thought he might be a Trump supporter and were disappointed that he was not? Well, uh, clearly they have not been paying close attention, because this man has been seen this year in a BLM rally, has shouted “fuck Boris, fuck the government”, and has waved multiple different pride flags (including the trans flag!) at his concerts. IDK how that screamed Trump supporter to some people. And then there were the people who were angry that he captioned the tweet “I would vote with kindness”. The words I have seen thrown around are “disingenuous” “privileged” and “this is not enough.” Well! Harry has often been criticized for encouraging fans to simply “vote” without talking specifics; now he's endorsed a candidate, just as requested! And while no one actually LIKES Biden there is no question (in any world except absurd fandom wank circles) that this endorsement is the correct one out of the viable candidates. He is not saying that Biden is himself kind, which yes would be weird, he is saying that voting for Biden is the kinder choice and you know what? He is correct. If you think that we at 1ddotd are gonna condemn him for taking a stance against a fascist, uh, THINK AGAIN!

It was confirmed that Liam’s mystery collab is Dixie D’Amelio, of tik tok fame, and I’m going to refrain from commenting until I hear the song! Liam continues to lean into both Christmas and Halloween by doing his spooky tik toks and NOT putting jump scare warnings in ANY OF THEM, thanks so much for that one Liam, love it loads! His fun, spooky, dorky ones (in full AWESOME looking makeup thanks to MUA Abby Roberts who’s quickly becoming a regular) are amazing though, and I will miss it when Halloween is over. And Niall was on the Elvis Duran show, mid-golf game with his cousin actually, to talk about them about his concert, the venue, the cause (calling his crew “like family”), and calling out the government (go Niall!)! He ALSO took to twitter and said, “I wish I could vote”. He would also not be voting for Trump, in case anyone actually needs that spelled out.

[khaleesiofalicante]

I really said fuck classes who needs notes anyway (i do I have 5 tests in the next two weeks)

before I post my live blog here, I feel like people really underestimate how bad rumors are and how much they fuck with your mental health. they don't lose sleep over them, they don't think twice. but these things are harmful as fuck. they leave wounds that take so long to recover from because you keep on thinking about these lies who to others are "just words"

I've been there. it's not fun. I wish I had the courage back then to stand up to those rumors which I have now. these things never leave you. others might move on but the healing process is a journey that is long and hard. I wish more people understood just what effect their words can have.

Yeah, he knew a thing or two about family members going overboard with glitter.

IT'S RAFAEL CENTRIC GHSYGUJDUYDFUIKFDUIDFIUDF

TAVVY

TAVVY

TAVVY

DCSUIHDCSUIDUYUDICUIVSDUIHFVSUILFBUHKIFSV

I feel like I keyboard smash A LOT

“You will never drink even if you are not riding the bike,” Dad had pointed out – all Consul Voice and threatening glares. “The legal age for drinking in New York is 21.”

“But it’s 15 in Idris!”

“Well unfortunately for you, we are in Exile,” dad had grinned.

DAD ALEC UHIKSFDUIHKSGUIKSDVUIHKDVUHIKSVD

Max had a habit of ‘borrowing’ things and selling them on eBay. In his brother’s defense, Bapak had so many clothes that he never noticed when things disappeared. But Rafael did since he had a habit of wearing his father’s clothes.

The warlock – not the shadowhunter.

He wouldn’t be caught dead in one of those sweaters.

Now that Rafael was 18, he was almost as tall as his father.

The shadowhunter – not the warlock.

I AM SCREAMING

I love how he's clarifying which one he's talking about

“Do you know I used to have a crush on Lily Chen?” Tavvy blushed. “But then I found out she made out with Helen once and it kinda got weird.”

Ah yes. I remember. Does Rafael know that Alec also walked in on them?

ARCHITECT TAVVY

SDHDVUHDFSV,YDSFVUYVSFFUSVFUVFS

SHADOWUNTERS ATTENDING MUNDANE COLLEGES

“Dude, college kids don’t give a shit,” Tavvy laughed. “You could walk into a lecture covered in runes, holding a seraph blade and they wouldn’t give you a second look.”

“Cause they are chill?”

“Yes. But mostly cause they are dead inside,” Tavvy chuckled.

Surprisingly that's exactly what my grade 6 prefect told me (DAMN WHY AM I ALWAYS REMEMBERING GRADE 6 IT'S BEEN YEARS. that was a horrible year *shudders*)

ANJALI IS A CENTURION

LMAO THIS IS WHAT RAFAEL MEANT WHEN HE SAID HE WOULDNT WANT TO GO TO THE SCHOLOMANCE FOR PERSONAL REASONS

I still ship them.

“The meeting is going to go perfe-What is SHE doing here?”

Well, that was a quick change-

Unlike Aunt Maia, Lily did not like to be called Aunt Lily. So, Rafael respected her wishes. Max of course continued to call her Aunt Lily and sometimes Abeula Lily since his brother had a pathological condition of pissing people off.

THAT'S SO MAX OMG JHSXUHSCUHISDHUHUKIDVS

great now I miss Raphael

I HAVE A CLASS IN 7 MINUTES STOP MAKING ME CRY

that is so thoughtful of him though...

tears.

“There are no photos of Raphael,” Lily sighed.

“Because he is a vampire?” Tavvy asked sympathetically.

“Because he is Raphael,” she grinned. “Vampires can most certainly take photos. You should follow me on Instagram. My handle is simp_for_carstairs.”

Of course, it is. No one is surprised.

Tavvy picked one up, took a large bite and it threw it back immediately. “Holy shit, that’s spicy!”

“White,” Lily and Anjali snorted at the same time.

white people and their bland foods smh

“She is not wrong,” Lily nodded seriously. “I’m a Jem Carstairs fan first and a vampire second.”

As she should be

UHDSUHDFSUHFDH ANJALI AND RAFAEL COMPETING ABOUT WHO'S LILY'S FAVORITE

He observed Anjali’s long dark hair spilled over her shoulders as her eyes stayed on Lily – sharp, protective and beautiful.

"Beautiful"

I AM NOT LETTING THIS GO

I'm THE DAMN CAPTAIN OF THIS SHIP

FUCKING RUMORS

I'm GONNA KILL SOMEONE

“Shadowhunters are awful gossips,” Anjali said. “Let’s not waste our time with this nonsense.”

There was something in her voice. Something he couldn’t put his finger on.

No, wait I want to know what was in her voice.

But no. It couldn’t be. They weren’t dating.

YET

Rafael was sure there was something more than friendship between them. But David was polite to a fault and Max was an oblivious little shit. So, obviously nothing had happened yet.

OH MY GOD THESE TWO

But this was different. He would tolerate rumours about himself. But he would not tolerate rumours about his family.

I and Rafael will beat up the people who spread these rumors together :D

“She once told me she likes sipping tea more than drinking blood.

I-

same.

NOT THAT I DRINK BLOOD-

RAFAEL LMAO NO

"I hate her she's so annoying"

continues to daydream about her and how tall she'd be without those boots, lies to tavvy about her dating someone

Why did he do that? What was the purpose? Did he not want other people to date just because he wasn’t dating anyone?

And he calls Max oblivious.

oh class started

shit

IDC IDC I'LL STILL BE READING

LEXI AND SELENA ARE AT THE ACADEMY

JACE HYPER FIXATING ON THINGS BECAUSE HE'S BORED IS SUCH A MOOD

“David and I added rosemary to this one,” Uncle Jace wiped his hands on his apron. “It has definitely improved the taste, hasn’t it?”

“Save me,” David mouthed from behind the man.

LMAO POOR DAVID

“Empty nest syndrome,” Rafael chuckled. “I’m glad neither Max nor I had to leave home. My fathers are much worse.”

He remembered his first sleepover at the institute. His parents had waited for “an excruciating hour” before crashing the institute and joining the sleepover themselves.

yup, that's them.

“David,” Rafael grinned. “Are you afraid of my father?”

“What? No! He is the just a regular person…who can throw me in the silent city any time he wants,” David rambled and then shook his head. “Where is Max?”

He tried to sound nonchalant. But Rafael noted the way the other boy’s eyes fluttered every time he said Max’s name.

Just the way a crooked smile appeared on his brother’s lips every time someone said David’s name.

Idiots

ok, there is so much to unpack here.

DAVID HAS A VALID REASON OK??

These two are such IDIOTS HUSDUHISCUIDSVCUIHVSDUHI

“Max said Bapak is biased, and that he needs an unbiased tutor. Uncle Ragnor volunteered,” Rafael chuckled. “God bless the poor man.”

“Max isn’t that bad,” David replied.

“Looks like you’re biased too, David,” Rafael winked and picked up a spare bow from the training room.

of course, he is.

G-FORCE KJHSDCUISDYUKDFSUYKDSVYUSFD

oh shit

oh shit

WHO DID WHAT THIS TIME

what's the rumor and who do I need to kill

He didn’t know her well. But she knew a lot about him. Just as she knew a lot about the twins. She was one of those people who was oddly invested in his life just because Rafael happened to the Consul’s son.

what is her problem?

what the fuck

I need a minute

I need a minute to digest that

I'm so glad I closed my camera in class

what the actual fuck did she just say

tell me I'm hallucinating

times like these I wish I was Jared 19

no, because I'm actually speechless right now

Paige and Irene need therapy

OH SHE WENT THERE

“Paige, that’s enough!” the Dean snapped at her. “How dare you talk to him that way? You talk about warlock corruption but where all of you when Valentine exploited Jace and Clary? Where was this moral obligation when Valentine lied to his children and played with their feelings as if they were nothing but toys to be controlled and manipulated? I’m sick of shadowhunters victim blaming children instead of holding people like Valentine accountable.”

THANK YOU

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK SIMON

I feel like we all focus so much on the "incest" and hate on clace we forget that this part of the story was literally an abuser seeing that the victim was recovering and took the only thing which made him happy from him

I can't believe this

“Children have been suffering for a long time now, Paige,” Uncle Jace said now, his fists balled at his sides. “Where were you when Alec proposed the child protection bill? We didn’t see any of you supporting it.”

“We had other priorities,” the older woman replied. “People were dying! It was not the right time for a new law. We could have always signed that bill later. There was no rush!”

OTHER PRIORITIES MY ASS BITCH FUCK YOU

hey just realizing Rafael is the token straight

I'M SORRY IM TRYING TO DISTRACT ME

“The Cohort who made children kill themselves to prove a point?” Uncle Simon asked dryly. “That Cohort?”

I am so close to either crying or killing someone or both.

This was Max’s spot since it had the best Wi-Fi coverage.

yeah trust me I spend all the time in the guest room because it has the best wifi coverage or the study.

MAX IS SMOKING TOO

YOU FUCKING IDIOTS

oh wait

oh they might be alec's

yeah

For the next thirty minutes, Max paced around the room, threatening to portal all the shadowhunters to hell.

Then he went on about a plan to attack the cohort and portal them all to hell too.

He kept talking about portalling people to hell.

MAX YES LET'S DO IT!!!!

But here is the thing about people, they don’t get to you. You get to them.

They simply say something and leave. They probably don’t even mean the things they say or lose sleep over it. But it wasn’t the same for you. You obsess over it. You stay awake at night and let it consume your dreams.

YES! To others, it's just words. meaningless. to you, the effect can be so so deep. it's not easy to always brush them off.

NO MAGNUS

THAT'S IT

MAX AND I ARE PORTALLING PEOPLE TO HELL

WE'RE DOING IT

why do we hurt others?

my teacher: ill take a test on this chapter. all 20 units

me: softly crying because people are little shits and they hurt others.

“Fuck everyone else,” dad hissed. “They’ve hurt our family enough.”

EXACTLY. LEAVE THEM ALONE.

“I am simply being honest with you,” Dad interrupted. “I could never be okay when you are away from me. But I will manage. Max is going to raise hell though. So, that’s going to be fun.”

AS HE SHOULD

Neither Rafael nor Max would never admit it out loud, but on the day of that sleepover, on the day their parents had crashed the institute bcause they had missed the kids too much…Rafael and Max had been only a moment away from calling their parents to come pick them up.

He's right though.

it'll take time. lots of it maybe.

BUT THE ACTUAL AUDACITY.

It fucked with his mind so much.

Rafael...ALRIGHT WHERE ARE MY FLAMETHROWERS

“DAD! BAPA! WAKE UP! RAFE IS TRYING TO RUN AWAY!”

MAX REMINDS ME SO MUCH OF MY LITTLE BROTHER

He had forgotten about the bloody paperwork. Shadowhunters on their travel year had to notify the Clave and get their paperwork in order.

Well, it shouldn’t be a problem since the Clave was standing across the hall.

EXACTLY

Because it was killing him. It was killing him not to be lying on the couch, his head resting on his Bapak’s lap just like every other Saturday morning.

It was killing him not to touch, not to love, not to care.

GET MY FLAMETHROWERS AND CANNIBAL GOLDFISHES WE HAVE SOME WORK TO DO

(goddamn every class I have taken so far the teacher has told us there is a test coming up it's 9 am in the morning.)

His brother growled at that like the little feral animal that he was.

that's adorable actually.

“Fine,” Max rolled his eyes. “Does this mean I can also travel? There is a Twenty One Pilots concert in Sydney and-”

“Nice try,” Dad said. “But no. You are staying here.”

“Excuse me, but what about my healing?” Max demanded. “I’ve been traumatised by this thing.”

“You can go to therapy,” Rafael winked at this brother.

Therapy is boring but useful so-

He needed to survive this. So, he decided to go back to the place he had learned how to survive in the first place.

He needed to go back home.

UGLY CRYING WHILE TAYLOR SWIFT PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND AND MY HISTORY CLASS IN 2 MINUTES

I'm so proud of him for this...

I still say we kill these people.

JOAQUIN AND JULIETTE

UHISDCUIHFSDUGUIDFVDSDVFJHGDFVHUKDVHUKVF

Camilla Alvarez.

well well.

OH THEY KISSED

“Right,” Rafael had said. “Gap year. Besides, I do talk them. My brother threatened to paint my room in hot pink if I don’t text him every day.”

hands max a pint of paint HAVE AT IT

Max: Also – New Rumour. Dalliance between Lily and Tavvy.

Rafe: OMFG WHAT

Max: They are running with it and freaking old n*philim out.

AS THEY SHOULD UFUHIFUIHFUIHKFU

THE CENSORED N*PHILIM I'M SCREAMING

“He is hot.”

He laughed out loud. “Yeah. I hear that a lot.”

“Your dad looks kinda scary,” she pointed out.

Rafael laughed again. “Yeah. I kinda hear that a lot too.”

I'm liking this ship...

I'M STILL LOYAL TO THE RAFAEL AND ANJALI SHIP

but I'm happy for him. I'm glad he's getting the space he needs

Dad: Jst found legal age fr drnkng in Buenos Aires is 18.

Rafe: ????

Dad: I hv friends thr.

Rafe: ???

Dad: Thy r watchn u.

Rafe: Creepy but okay.

HJSDCGUIHJGSDCYUICVXUHVUHKDV

THE BOY'S DRINKING Y'ALL

Do it

MILA IS GOING TO NY!!

I like her. she's nice.

He was leaving soon. He didn’t see the point in lying to her. “I ran away from home. Kind of.”

“Why?”

“I hurt someone I love,” Rafael confessed. “The person I love most in the world.”

honey, it wasn't your fault... hugs

Shit. Why wasn’t Bapak going to the accords signing? He had been there for every single one since the very first time.

no no no no is something wrong?? I'm worried.

“You look taller,” Rafael told his brother who hadn’t grown an inch.

LMAO

Max and I are vertically challenged.

“Rafe, go to talk to him. Or I will tell everyone you’ve been smoking in the balcony!”

So, he was going to pin this on him, huh? This little shit.

well-

“You’ve progressed from freaking to fucking,” he pointed out.

“That’s not the fucking point, Rafael!” Max said in exasperation.

“You did it again,” Rafe pinched Max’s cheek. “My little brother is all grown up now. Linguistically I mean.”

“Dick."

I CAN'T WITH THESE TWO

When he had gone back to Buenos Aires, the place was completely different - even the shadow market.

There were no abandoned children in the streets. There were no racist and ignorant leaders exploiting innocent downworlders.

There was only growth.

His father had done that. Alec Lightwood had helped Joaquin and his people create a new world in Buenos Aires.

This shows how much people can flourish under good leadership if they really try.

YOU KNOW I'M SUPPOSED TO BE TAKING THESE NOTES DOWN, NOT CRYING OVER THIS.

“I will protect our family. I will protect our friends. I will protect those who ask for my protection. But I will not tolerate their hate. I will not turn my head and pretend it doesn’t hurt. Because it does hurt and that’s not okay.”

Rafael smiled at that. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s not okay.”

“The accords is important. But so am I. There is no point in signing a treaty that is meant to value equality if I have to sign it while being surrounded by those who refuse to respect me or my identity. I simply cannot do it, Rafael. I hope you understand.”

I'm sobbing like YES YOU DONT OWE THEM SHIT. THESE UNGRATEFUL BITCHES.

“It’s taken me a while to realize this. But I don’t owe the nephilim anything,” Bapak said firmly. “It’s about time they realize that too.”

YES EXACTLY

“I’ve known shadowhunters for a long time, Rafael. Good ones. Bad ones. All kinds of them – and shadowhunters have always defined themselves by their love. Not by your weapons. Not by your runes. Not by your last names. Not by your laws. Shadowhunters have always defined themselves by love. So, don’t ever let them take that away from you.”

I want this on a T-shirt. These damn shadowhunters and their love.

“Like the Accords Hall kiss?” Rafael grinned.

“It’s the stupidest thing your father had ever done – which is really saying something,” his father laughed. “But it’s also the bravest thing I’ve ever seen him do. And that’s how I knew.”

affectionate sigh that's alec.

“Good. Max is sitting in the porch and singing All by Myself,” Tessa chuckled and closed the door. “Just thought you should know!!”

Rafael giggled at that. “He must have given you hell.”

“Nothing I couldn’t handle,” Bapak shrugged, and Rafael raised an eyebrow. “Fine. I might have promised to buy him a car when he turns 18.”

“You’re hoping he would stop aging by then, aren’t you?” Rafael chuckled.

Max is so dramatic I aspire to be like him.

Blue banners when the lost return, the shadowhunter rhythm said.

Rafael had returned home – and he was no longer lost.

I'm ok I say as I cry during my history class

I'm so proud of him.

“Well, that needs to be rectified immediately,” Dad said in the Consul Voice and literally yelled. “I am about to kiss my son – on both cheeks! You better gossip about this too!”

“Oh my god, stop!” Rafael giggled and tried to escape.

“YAS!” he heard Uncle Jace yelled from somewhere. “GIVE US A FOREHEAD KISS TOO!”

THEY ARE SO DRAMATIC I LOVE THESE IDIOTS SO MUCH.

THEM ADDING TO THE ACCORDS AS THEY SHOULD OMG

“The hell is hate speech?” someone asked.

Do you not have a dictionary you uncultured swine

“There is a very clear difference between free speech and hate speech,” Cristina Rosales pointed out. “The fact that you don’t seem to know that is all the more reason for us to include this provision.”

YES CRISTINA

“By the angel,” an old man gasped. “There is no need to be so emotional. The younger generation can be such snowflakes.”

What if I just strangles him

“Discriminatory language?” a woman demanded. “What does that even mean?”

“Calling vampires bloodsuckers,” Lily Chen answered.

“Calling warlocks demon spawns,” Ragnor Fell pointed out.

“Calling werewolves fleabags,” Maia Roberts declared.

“Calling faeries half-breeds,” Kieran Kingson all but yelled.

The fact that they have had to deal with this shit for YEARS. (also why Kingson? isn't Kieran the king?)

THE QUEEN HERSELF IS HERE Y'ALL

“Which one of you shitheads said hate speech is harmless?” Anjali demanded, her voice booming over everyone and everything else.

YES ANJALI

Anjali had a grin of her own. “While that might true, Paige, there is most certainly a law on child protection. You didn’t just hurt Magnus Bane. You also hurt his son. Section 7 of the Child Protection Bill states that any person who physically or emotionally injures a child through ill-treatment, neglect, abandonment or abuse is guilty of breaking the covenant.”

“Damn straight!” someone yelled from the crowd – it sounded suspiciously like Kit.

CALL THESE BITCHES OUT YES

“Rafael is not a child!” someone yelled again. A lot of them this time. “It’s still not illegal. The law doesn’t say so!”

“By the angel, for someone who is obsessed with the law you people seem to know nothing about it,” Anjali said in exasperation. “The child protection law defines a child as a person under 18 years OR younger. The incident happened when he was still 18. It’s illegal.”

YES ANJALI FUCK THESE PEOPLE

“I’m the Inquisitor’s daughter,” she said. “Next time, think twice before you quote the law at me.”

SHOW THEM, QUEEN

How did she know his birthday????

ahem

“So, if you do hurt him emotionally, you can still be implicated. You will face charges and you can possibly be stripped of your runes,” Anjali pointed out seriously. “Now I ask you again. Does anyone else have to say anything about him?”

There was absolute silence then.

“Didn’t fucking think so,” Anjali spat. “I literally had to mention the stripping of your marks for you to respect another person’s basic rights. If you give half the value you place on your precious runes to other people, we wouldn’t be in exile right now.”

The Cohort looked terrified – of Anjali or their future in the Clave, Rafael didn’t know.

“People are dying,” Anjali said, her voice heavy now. “Our people are fucking dying, and you seem to be more bothered with who is sleeping with whom. Shame on you. Shame on all of you!”

She turned to the Council. The Inquisitor looked like he was going to cry from pride. Rafael’s dad looked half terrified but mostly impressed. Lily was blowing kisses at Anjali. The other downworld leaders looked quite pleased.

Shadowhunters are so fucking bigoted and narrow-minded. I'm seething right now.

also, alec looking scared-

“THAT’S THE BEST SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!” Emma Carstairs yelled.

“Goddamn, I wish Magnus was here to see this,” Uncle Jace grinned. “That was satisfying as hell.”

“No worries, I recorded the whole thing!” Kit put up his hand.

YES YES AND YES

“Fuck the Cohort,” Rafael giggled.

“Actually, I would prefer you use the word screw,” his father pointed out. “Screw the Cohort!”

“Oh my god, Dad!” Rafael rolled his eyes. “I am allowed to swear once in a while.”

“No, you are not,” Dad said firmly – this man was so not ready to meet Max’s new persona. “As your friend pointed out, you are still a child.”

Alec seeing Max curse left and right: 👁️👄👁️

"She hates me!"

“Rafael, she stood up for you in front of the entire Clave. She fought the Cohort. It was incredibly brave. I wish she had spoken to me before without causing all the chaos. So, it was a little stupid of course. But still brave.”

Stupid but brave.

YESYESYESYES IT'S HAPPENING!!!

ANJALI WHO HURT YOU

WHO DARED TO

Names. Give me names NOW

Jaime no...please no not Jaime.

please please, please

ok, I searched it up. And he can get treatment. He can live. It doesn't have to be serious. please, Jaime...

“If you ever tell anyone you saw me crying, I will drag you to Idris and drown you in Lake Lyn.”

This is such an Anjali thing to say.

OOO MILLA (Mila?) MESSAGED!!! Is there gonna be some sort of love triangle here??

me who despises love triangles (aside from TID of course): ...

BUT SINCE IT'S YOU I'M SURE IT'LL BE AMAZING. I'm still nervous about this though...

UHCUHDVUKDVHUKVHUVHM I LOVED THIS CHAPTER SO SO SO SO MUCH IT WAS A LITERAL ROLLERCOASTER AND ANJALI QUEEN I LOVE

see ya on Friday!!

OKAY I AM LOVING THIS ENERGY BUT PLEASE FOCUS ON YOUR CLASSES FJKSDFHJKSJFHKD I PROMISE THE STORY IS GOING TO BE HERE WHEN YOU GET BACK LOL.

But I am so glad you like it. Amidst all your screaming and chaos, I always find very perceptive and profound observations. It's fantastic! I love it so much!

Thank you for enjoying LBAF - and good luck with your tests!!!

[princesssarcastia]

Thoughts on Star Trek AOS? (And do you think Kirk was on Tarsus?)

i have SO MANY THOUGHTS about star trek aos, so buckle up.  brace yourself.

star trek aos is a terrible disaster and i love it SO MUCH.  for me, star trek 2009 is still in that class of unreasonably pleasing movies like the mummy or stardust or jumanji: welcome to the jungle.  what they are isn’t exactly top notch but you love them for being exactly what they are.

star trek aos is a star-studded fucking phenomenal cast of some of the best actors working today, which makes up for the very inconsistent writing and unfortunate low-level current of sexism.

literally where would i be today if chris pine could not make faces Like That. i honestly couldn’t tell you.

overall, I have quite a few bones to pick with JJ Abrams for setting up a star trek universe that is less Wacky Space Utopia adventures with liberal political commentary ranging from unsubtle to im-hitting-you-over-the-head-with-my-opinions-like-they’re-a-brick—

to this kind of overtly militarized action-hero adventure porn where one white man saves the universe from Scary People Who Don’t Look Like Us And Are Crazy.  I also don’t appreciate what they did to Jim Kirk, turning him into this womanizing self-centered bastard who has to be in charge.  I REALLY don’t appreciate the casual misogyny, what with the last of rank stripes for women and the gratuitous sex-ed up scenes and the way that Amanda Grayson gets fridged for man-pain and and and— you get the picture.

Or at least, that’s what they tried to do to jim kirk.  and god fucking bless chris pine for being able to make facial expressions, because i firmly believe if pretty much almost anyone else had played Jim Kirk as written by JJ Abrams, that’s exactly what he would have been.

But because of chris pine’s acting, instead, most of the AOS fandom and I realized/decided that this “womanizing�� version of jim kirk actually really really hates himself so much, most likely for trauma reasons. 

we took that shit and ran with it and never really stopped.

zachary quinto is also like god tier casting.  unfortunately the writers for the first two movies mostly gave him Anger as a primary motivator, which like, is not exactly how I would interpret Spock at all, but quinto played this Angry Spock so so well.

ZOE SALDANA PLAYS THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE, NYOTA UHURA, PERFECTLY AND THAT’S ALL I’LL HEAR ON THE MATTER.

john cho should be cast in everything ever he’s amazing and I love seeing him.  this man has the range. hikaru sulu is the backbone of this fucking ship.  this man wins the big damn hero award every single movie. 

i still miss living in the same world as anton yelchin. i really, really do.

I also have found family feelings all over these movies, where these baby versions of iconic characters from the sixties are brought together too early to witness too much fucking trauma.  harry potter references aren’t exactly in vogue right now, but there’s this one piece from a—well, actually, its a harry potter reference in an mcu fic i read years ago, now that i think about it, but anyway:

it was something like, there are some things you can’t go through with a person—like that mountain troll in harry potter—without becoming friends for life.  there are some crucibles that will bind you together forever.  and awful as it is, I think Nero and the Vulcan genocide were the AOS crew’s mountain troll.  there’s no going back or separating, after that.

also I feel like there’s a ton of competence porn in this trilogy that i deeply, deeply enjoy.

star trek: 2009 and into darkness are both grimdark male power fantasy bullshit that only accidentally hits all the right buttons for me.  I love them dearly but i know EXACTLY what they are, thank you.

star trek: beyond is a delightful movie with no real plot where our favorite crew are finally Adults With A Modicum Of Common Sense And Stability, instead of Disaster Children Angsting All Over The Place, and they get to save the universe with the power of excellent rock music and friendship. how cool is that?!?  i wanna give simon pegg a high five for making this movie.

on a more meta note, what I find kind of satisfying about these movies is that—for all his many faults that i’m always happy to expound upon—JJ Abrams actually went for it.  He Did That.  He just made his own brand new timeline, killed jim kirk’s dad, then gave him an abusive uncle/step-dad, then literally destroyed one of the founding planets of the Federation, then he, in an iconic fashion, switched Jim and Spock’s places in the infamous “wrath of khan” death scene, so instead Spock gets to watch Jim die. 

and you know what? I can forgive a lot of bullshit for that kind of poetic angsty fanfic plot detail. 

every time uhura says, “an alternate reality,” in star trek 2009 just gives me chills.  every time she says it, you feel the weight of sixty years of history and legacy sitting on these people’s shoulders, the weight of arguably one of the most popular TV shows of all time.

imagine, living in a new world you’re aware isn’t the one that was supposed to be.  imagine that!

oh! and on the question of tarsus:

what I think is probably true irl: JJ Abrams has never thought that far ahead in his life.  correct me if i’m wrong, but hadn’t he.....not even watched star trek.........when he made these movies............like lol i’d bet you this man didn’t even really know Tarsus was a thing.  And even if he did, I don’t think he thought it was part of the new canon he was creating.  AOS is much more self-contained than the serialized universe the original star trek was, so I don’t think that AOS was intended to encompass all those things, like tarsus, that we as a fandom like to obsess over.

what I personally enjoy: i love me some AOS fic that explores the ridiculous amounts of trauma that comes from living through a genocide.  I think that, given we all decided AOS Jim Kirk hates himself, and engages in a shit ton of self-sabotaging and destructive behavior to cope, it’s a reasonable jump to think that at least some of that comes from some survivor’s guilt bullshit from Tarsus.  And honestly, hit me up if you want recs for this, because boy do I have them.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: no one does angst quite like AOS!Jim Kirk.

what I believe wholeheartedly: this is like Schrödinger's Plot Point, okay, it both exists and doesn’t exist simultaneously.  it’s easy to read tarsus into some of jim’s behavior, and it’s easy to read none of it in, and both of those choices are valid.  go with your gut, go with what makes you happy, go with what you think makes sense.  This is where fandom lives, in these little details that fall through the cracks.

anyway WOW did I talk a lot.  those are at least some of my star trek thoughts.  i do have others, but i’ve expounded on them before on this blog, and y’all don’t need me to repeat myself

ask me my thoughts on ______

[whyqueerbaitingisbad]

movies & shows

cracks knuckles* alright this is going to be more of a rant than an analysis because i’m basing this on both my research, but also how it felt to personally be baited by these shows. there are obviously more pieces of bad (almost every horror movie) and good ones but these are the ones i’ve watched.

please keep in mind that i am but one queer and everyone has different opinions.

Supernatural (CW) 2005

This show is 15 years old and just ended. From season 5 till 15, there has been tension between two of the lead characters. They were constantly shipped together and not only did the entire fandom know about this ship but so did almost all of Tumblr. On top of that, the actors and show runners knew about it as well. Which is why it makes it ridiculous that it was constantly pushed aside while the romantic coding  kept happening, even after show runners dismissed it as being intentional. The Destiel (Dean x Cas) case has been going on for years, and as the show came to its end, many fans had hope. But N O P E. Instead, we got a love confession from Cas where Dean looked like he was near constipated and the Cas was killed and sent into a fiery place that was not hell but s u p e r  h e l l.

… w hy.

Sherlock (BBC) 2010

Just like Supernatural, this show was renown on Tumblr for not only how good it was, but its hinting at a potential relationship between Sherlock Holmes and John Watson. But again, like Supernatural, the intentional tension between the two characters was denied by producers. This caused an uproar within the fandom, and even left some people believing that, after the last season aired, it had been a joke and the producers were hiding a “secret, unaired season” because they had felt so robbed by this show that had implied something and denied it.

The 100 (CW) 2014

We got lesbians. We got background gays. We were happy. Then, all of a sudden, one of them is killed for no reason. Did it advance the plot? No. Was she fighting and died in battle? lol no. She was doing literally nothing and got shot and died. And then the producers kept bringing her back once a season in the form of a ghost or illusion because why? Because she was a fan favourite queer character. ✨bury your gays and sparingly bring them back for profit anyone?✨

Voltron: Legendary Defender (Netflix) 2016

*deep breathe* This one is a special disaster. Not only was there romantic tension and romantically coded scenes for 7 seasons, but producers, voice actors and artists working on the show repeatedly said “don’t worry klance (Keith x Lance) shippers, you’ll be happy”

. … w h e r e??? You code one of their scenes with a sunset in the background while they talk about love and then one of them goes on a date with someone who has declined his advances for 7 seasons but now in season 8 decides to do a full 180. Not only that, but you announce at a Comic Con (a convention) that a character is gay and has a fiancé, only to kill off the fiancé and never make it explicit in the show except at the last second of the last episode where he marries a no name character. 

Personally, i’d like to say a big fuck you to the show that strung me along for 2 years and never stopped saying we’d be happy to then pull the rug out from under us and call us crazy for thinking anything from the past 8 seasons was intentional.

Scooby-Doo (2002) 

While not being outwardly queerbaiting, this movie’s filmmaker has just revealed some shocking news, which wasn’t at all shocking to the gays who had watched this movie over the years. In July of 2020, James Gunn, the filmmaker of Scooby-Doo, revealed in a podcast that, initially, Velma was explicitly gay in his script, but then the studio watered it down until it became nothing. This isn’t an example of baiting as much as it is changing a character’s initial design to “better fit an audience”. The worst part of all this is that with Velma’s character having been written with a l i t t l e queer subtext, people had been theorizing about if since the movie came out, but were always yelled at by the internet for “imagining something that isn’t there”. But now, even with it being said that the initial point was for her to be gay, people have no objections to still refusing to accept it. Why?? So we can’t get the subtext gays OR the confirmed gays?? Make it make sense.

Brooklyn 99 (NBC) 2013

To have the queer characters firstly introduced without mentioning their sexualities and have it brought up naturally was so goddamn nice to see, because no one does a big deal about it unless they ask for that. This show is amazing in general but the way they show their queer characters is *chefs kiss*.

She-ra and the Princesses of Power (Netflix) 2018

This. Show. My heart SOARS. It's just a remake of an old show so absolutely nothing was ever expected, but then it was sprinkled in and ENDED WITH A BANG. And it was so beautiful and real to see the struggle of two friends who care for each other and want to be together but have different visions of the world fall in love. And they also had characters with disabilities, a non-binary character and jUST SUCH A GOOD SHOW.

Kipo and The Age of Wonderbeasts (Netflix) 2020

This is a case where you go into it not expecting anything and are BLOWN AWAY by the bare minimum. And not because it’s bad!! It's mind blowing because this is the simple representation we need!! Not something over the top, but an every day relationship. It’s just two boys falling in love and going on dates and being nervous around each other, yet i was so stunned. Because it’s not shown enough. I should not be this excited over something that should be this normal. 10/10 though this show is so good for all kinds of representation.

Steven Universe (Cartoon Network) 2013

This show did so much for queer representation with its general message of loving everyone and loving who you want. Especially since it was aired on Cartoon Network, a channel for kids, it was able to help normalize something so looked down upon in some circles. It made it easy to watch for s o m e people because it's a cartoon but it's so beautiful to see these ladies so in love with each other, both platonically and romantically and we see them have a family dynamic that isn’t a “nuclear family”. Rebecca Sugar (creator) really said “lemme just break all stereotypes real quick”.

Adventure Time (Cartoon Network) 2010

It's the “knowing a fanbase shipped something so hard that the creators made it canon” for me. This relationship had been theorized by fans for years, but it had never been explicit in the show. When the finale episode came out and the two shared a kiss, it was a moment of celebration. The producer of the show said that it had not really been planned but when the episode was being made, the choice of what happened was given to one of the artists (bless your soul Hanna K. Nyströmthe). And as the show releases little bonus episodes, its latest was centered around Marceline and Bubblegum and their relationship. AND WE LOVE TO SEE OUR DOMESTIC LESBIANS BEING HAPPY AND IN LOVE.

Yuri on Ice!!! (anime) 2016

The fact that an A N I M E gave us a love story between two men is mind boggling and it makes me so happy!! Especially because it's a Japanese show and they’re very conservative about these things just makes it more emotional. The creators said they wanted to make the anime take place in a world where gay/straight isn’t a thing, it’s just love (ladies, you’re going to make me cry). So as the weekly episodes came out and fans start speculating, THEY GAVE US THE LAST FEW EPISODES FULL OF ROMANCE AND EMOTIONAL SCENES BETWEEN THE TWO AND THEN THEY GET R I N GS?!???!! You watch for the figure skating, you stay for the figure skaters that are in love.

Shadowhunters (Freeform) 2016

*insert me being frustrated that the actors are straight so we can move on from that disappointment*

This show really said “let’s name a whole episode after this couple because they deserve it”. But seriously, they gave us two characters whose entire plot does not center around their sexualities while still showing us the differences in a relationship between someone experienced and someone new at this. They were both powerful and amazing characters apart from each other, with their own story lines and goals but they loved each other so much omgs. SO MUCH. 

It was so great to watch.

Love, Simon (2018) 

There’s a lot of disagreement on whether this movie is good representation or not. However, we need to take into consideration that this was Hollywood’s first movie with a main character that was gay, where the story’s focus was on Simon’s love story. The biggest problem, for me at least, was that the actor playing Simon is a straight man and not queer. My problem is not with him, but the fact that there are other actors that are gay and that could have played Simon just as well. (the love interested was however played by a queer actor so ✨progress✨)

All in all, this movie does represent what a lot of queer kids have to go through: being outed at school, how they then come out, the bullying and doubt they go through.

The book is also really good.

Call Me By Your Name (2018)

This movie is so aesthetically pleasing and was able to capture the confusion and heartbreak felt by a boy who’s struggling with his own feelings towards a man. His inner conflict and joy and l o v e he feels but doesn’t know how to deal with is so well communicated through the screen and just breaks your heart because it feels so real.

But again, they could’ve gotten gay actors to play gay characters…

through having this list here, i want to show you that it’s not hard for creators to give good queer representation. the LGBTQ+ community isn’t asking for much, we just want to be well represented on screen as just a regular character, not some token queer kid there for the diversity points. having been exposed to so much queerbaiting and just not seeing any representation on screen, i always get over-excited when i see a queer character, and that’s not how it should be. it should be a normal thing, something you can find in most pieces of media, just like there’s a straight white cisgender person in everything.

and they seriously need to start casting queer actors for queer characters...

[somestansomewhere]

Debbie Gallagher: ALL Love Interests RANKED

Okay! I tried to rank all of Debs’ love interests and it was hard to do because I am not set on that ONE PERSON that I ship her with above all else, but these are my thoughts! Keep in mind that these are all MY OPINIONS and you are entitled to yours as well! Let’s talk about it! If you read all this ILY.

Here we go:

...................................

23. The Guy At The Pool (Season 5)

He thought Debs was special needs and she tried to flirt with him...

22. Kelly (Season 9-10)

I LOVE Kelly so much but she was not into Debbie! I really love her with Carl and Debbie should not have tried to interfere! I will however say that I really really REALLY enjoy their friendship and I wish that that would have continued on. They had some really good moments together.

20/21. Eugene (Season 6) & Board Game Guy (Season 7)

Alright so these two don’t technically count because Frank tried to set Debbie up with Eugene so that she’d be written into his will. And the Board Game Guy was from a deleted scene as one of Debbie’s “life partners” from that flyer she made. So enough said.

18/19. Tyler (Season 6) & Erika (Season 6)

Again, Frank attempted to set Debbie up with Tyler and while that “potential relationship” wasn’t as bad as what happened between her and Erika, I am grouping them together because Debbie wasn’t technically into either of them and it was set up to fail right from the start.

17. Larry (Season 6)

The pregnancy fetish guy! I’m not quite sure what the intentions were for this character in the long run but it was a funny joke in the episode he was in. Even in the beginning Larry gave off red flags, but Debbie was happy... until the truth was revealed. Weird.

16. Jared (Season 11)

Another irrelevant love interest: the gay guy that cheated on his husband with Debbie after giving her cocaine. Obvious issues with this encounter/plot line aside, I did feel that their interactions at the bar were flirtatious and I didn’t hate him.

15. Calista (Season 11)

ANOTHER irrelevant character that was used and never brought back!!! I didn’t totally hate her either, she was upfront about her ex-girlfriend and that whole situation. She helped Debbie and didn’t take advantage of her but the second she came on screen; I’m sorry but I did not give a fuck. Her last episode built up a potential friend/relationship opportunity for Debbie and they just did nothing with it. Idfk what else to say, not a fan but I did appreciate Calista trying to take care of Debbie when she clearly was drinking too much.

14. Sandy (Season 10-11)

Oh boy, everyone’s favorite partner of Debbie’s... Yeah, Sandy is so low on this list not necessarily because I didn’t like her for Debbie, or that I have beef with Elise (b/c I love her as an actor sm). I personally just hate the sheer fact that this character EXISTS in the first place. I never understood the hype, but I know that people only like her because she’s a Milkovich ie. related to Mickey. That’s the hard truth this fandom isn’t willing to admit. My disliking Sandy should be a post of its own but lemme get into her relationship with Debbie.

You could tell that Emma and Elise liked working together so the chemistry was sorta there (definitely not soulmate shit tho). Each time that they interacted in s10 I was over it. S11 was better in the sense that whether I would like to admit it or not, they did have some “cute moments” (mainly just Sandy calling Debbie babe/babes). The second shit hit the fan in regards to Sandy’s history, I immediately understood Debbie’s issue with her and why her character would not want to be with Sandy. But, with that being said, Debbie was also in the wrong because she made everything about herself throughout the entire course of this relationship! Sandy did call her out, ex: “who was supposed to take Franny to school?”, and things like that were nice. HOWEVER I am sorry to say, this relationship felt like a massive waste of time and it felt like they were trying to force something that shouldn’t have existed to begin with. I don’t have the patience to even analyze this anymore, but maybe down the line because clearly there is SO MUCH to delve into!

13. Alex (Season 9)

Omg I did not like this relationship/plotline at all. Alex had issues but Debbie was so inconsiderate! I never saw the appeal here! It was nice that Alex had the decency to go and help Debs with Ford after the fact. I just feel “meh” about this tho. They had moments but ultimately I personally wasn’t into it and Debbie’s random newfound self discovery of “lesbianism”.

12. Kyle (Season 3)

Emma Kenney’s first kiss! Kyle was a one episode character that did have the potential to be more than that. I didn’t hate the kid as Debbie’s love interest, but there also wasn’t anything special about him. He was just kinda there and then he left. Debbie really seemed to like him though, spelling his name in her peas, etc.. I do like that one line about cigarettes that Kyle had but again he was such a short lived character and when he turned out not to be related to Kevin it became unnecessary to keep him around... even if the episode alluded to him returning. They were sorta cute!

11. Claudia (Season 10)

So I didn’t like this relationship much either but there was a certain kind of stability in the relationship that felt organic and nice. Partly because I enjoyed watching Constance Zimmer and she made Claudia likeable. Do I ship it? No. Was it a problematic dynamic? Yes. Was it a tolerable relationship? Eh. I didn’t hate it entirely though. Debbie, being a Gallagher, eventually fucked it up. And while I did like the drama, Debbie wasn’t REALLY into Claudia as much as she may have believed she was. So, it totally felt like a one off that would end with Claudia not returning... and it was. So there was no time for an investment of any kind.

10. Hedi (Season 11)

Gosh... Debbie’s endgame(?). Hedi was introduced too late for me to care enough about her (At this point it would have made sense for Debbie to wind up with Calista because at least she was already introduced!). I don’t necessarily like Hedi as a character and quite frankly it was a “who tf does SHE think she is” kinda deal for me. At first I was interested and didn’t hate her (and I don’t), but then she “thought she was Jimmy” and I instantly got annoyed (LOL I GUESS it was a nice nod to him tho... I guess).

My (several) problems with Hedi as a character aside, there IS something about Hedi being presented as this “dangerous badass” who is (somehow) WORSE than Debbie, that worked well. I’m not a fan of the ship, but it is an interesting dynamic in the sense that Debbie could potentially be “living on the edge”. I fear for what trouble this could cause Debbie BUT it’s like Frank referenced: Monica vibes. I don’t think it’s “true love” like Debbie said to Franny. A constant storyline for Debbie has been “why can’t anyone ever love me” and so she falls in quickly. Maybe Hedi will leave her but that’s the thing, “she’s done worse” so idk, either way I don’t think it’s meant to last! But I guess I don’t mind them being together! Karma’s a bitch! Will Carl tell her what Arthur found? Would it even make a difference?

9. Julia (Season 10)

I would have actually rather preferred her with Carl too! It was never love between Debbie and Julia, but the relationship did create good conflict for my viewing pleasure. UNPOPULAR OPINION, I didn’t mind Julia as a character at all. She was fine for me. I also enjoyed how ultimately SHE was only using Debbie in the end. Julia does admit later on that she was experiencing with her sexuality so maybe she did have feelings for Debbie at one point, which I thought was interesting. Debbie got herself into this one. At least Julia was more age appropriate than Claudia... (which is ironic since Debbie got in trouble for being with Julia when the age gap is MUCH bigger between Claudia and Debbie LOL I love it)! I also found Julia annoying Debbie to be amusing, that’s not to say that I liked her a lot either cuz I don’t!

8. Matty (Season 4-5)

Man do I feel bad for Matty! Debbie raped him and it was horrible. From the get-go when Matty was introduced the relationship was hella awkward!! And not only that but Debbie was a MINOR! Matty did do the right thing and said they couldn’t be together but a part of me will always feel strange that he WAS INITIALLY attracted to Debbie before learning her age. That to me is still wildly inappropriate. He shoulda cut it off. He did try to be her friend and took her to that dance which was cute but ahhh this was just a MESS all around. Cringe. At least he didn’t take advantage.

7. Henry (Season 4)

Speaking of Matty and that dance, Henry was supposed to take her. He asked her as a joke in order for Seama to inflict revenge on Debbie. If that weren’t the case however... DAMN THEY WERE CUTE! The potential that this relationship could have had! If only it wasn’t all an act! It was a “day worth of love” and sure that’s not enough for two people to REALLY be IT, yet there was something charming about their connection that I wish was real. Or idk maybe Henry could have reconnected with her later and apologized and it could have been revealed that he did actually like her... but that wasn’t the case. Fuck him!

6. Simon (Season 1-2)

Debbie was NOT interested in Simon at all but at the time he was almost like the male version of her. Their banter back and forth was fun to watch and he probably would have treated her well. It’s unfortunate that we didn’t get to even see their friendship progress. Their interactions were funny and he was a good guy!

5. Batiste (Season 10)

Y’all may not understand why this guy is so high on the list but a part of me wishes this character wasn’t a one off. Batiste is the dude Debbie tried to return her “unused” shoes to. If you can recall, he wanted a blowjob to take advantage of her. While this was a dick move (and the plot went nowhere) a part of me would have liked to see more! He did have an arc where he acted like an ass and realized that it is wrong to degrade women. I just think it could have been built upon and Emma may have had chemistry with this actor. There was something here that I didn’t hate and I felt it could have been expanded upon.

4. Little Hank (Season 2-3)

Debbie’s first real crush! It was interesting to see how he didn’t like her at first and then a “friendship/relationship” slowly started to develop after he gave her flowers. IT JUST NEVER CONTINUED! Little Hank was in no way the most upstanding, but it was cool to see Carl have a friend that Debbie crushed on (when she was little she wasn’t intentionally taking something away from Carl ie. Kelly, so I support it). Their interactions were fun to watch too! The fandom definitely has a soft spot for Little Hank! And at one point everyone was rooting for them to be together. Too bad we never discovered what ended up happening to this character!

3. Neil (Season 7-8)

The bathtub scene tho! Adorable! There was a short moment within this relationship that was super cute where the two of them really did seem to care about each other and may have both been in love. It goes without saying that Debbie was only using him, but they did have SOME potential and they found a common ground where they each benefited each other’s needs. Debbie once again was TOO controlling and self absorbed to make it work, but I don’t think she was entirely happy in a relationship with him. He deserved more respect!

2. Derek (Season 5-8)

Baby Daddy! I really did enjoy them together until Debbie took advance of him and Franny came into the picture, but at the same time that’s one of the reasons that Derek, as a character, has a deeper connection to Debbie and the audience. I always enjoyed their flirting back and forth and the relationship they had (the deleted scene with the card/push up game ahh my heart)! Debbie really did mess up due to her desperation to “belong to a family”, which is another one of her consistent character traits. She just went too far and tried to trap him. Then shit got messed up between their families. Derek did eventually ask for parcial custody and did have a desire to be a part of Franny’s life. Debbie said no and that plot line died until s10. Pepa!! Ahh! RIP to Derek, it was sad to me that he died. Definitely a character and relationship that I wish was incorporated more because I truly enjoyed them together.

1. Duran (Season 8)

Besties with benefits! Stop! Nobody talks about my guy Duran! Sure they both said that this relationship was of a sexual nature and that they were just a couple of friends but damn! The chemistry and dynamic was palpable! It is truly a shame that we didn’t get to see more of this friendship! They were on common ground and really did care about each other! I don’t know why but I really just LOVED them together! Duran was also in her friend group with Farhad and that was a group that seemed to have a positive impact on Debbie as a person. S8 Debbie was cool! These two complemented each other so nicely! Duran wasn’t by any means the best influence on her because he almost lead Debbie down a “Monica path” but come on, Hedi is worse in that department. He was getting his life together like Debbie was with her profession. Just think of the hair convos Duran and Tami could have had Lol. Idk, I just like Debbie with him a lot! It was healthy to an extent and he was supportive of Debs with Franny.

[novannna]

Same Sea, Same Soul, Same Heart

CHAPTER 9

ignore the fact that this is july, and the last update was in april,,,  i kinda kept forgetting to upload the next chapter, sorry hopefully my updates will be a bit more consistent from now on (considering there are only a few more chapters)

Danna is the daughter of a noble in Gatlon city.  Gatlon is ruled by King Hugh and King Simon, members of the Renegades, the gruop that saved it from the anarchists and Ace Anarchy.  Nova is the niece of Ace Anarchy and is the worlds most feared and dangerous pirate.  She kidnaps Danna as ransom, and while they travel back to Danna’s father the two girls begin to realize they weren’t so different after all…

Nova interupts the royal wedding

ao3 link

link to masterlist

link to  Chapter 8

wc: 1997

Nova stood at the helm, her hair waving in the wind.  Her two dueling pistols were strapped against her chest, and two swords hung at her waste.  She wore her long black coat, but didn’t bother with a hat.  Keeping her gender hidden didn’t matter anymore.  

“Everyone, at their positions!”  she screamed, her voice cutting through the wind.  They got closer and closer to the ship on the horizon.  Its hull was painted white, the sails a delicate pink.  

They raced closer and closer.  

“Hoist the flag!”   Nova grinned, and tied her hair up into a low ponytail.  

A black flag was slowly raised, the leering skull a reminder to everyone who she was.  

“Today, we take back our country!”  she screamed.  “We gain the freedom to do as we please!  Are you ready?”  

Her crew roared back, screaming with joy.  

Nova faced them, wild happiness on her face.  “Who are we?”  

“Pirates!”  her crew shouted back.  

“That’s right.  We will show the Renegades our strength today.  I am Nightmare, and I will lead us to our victory.  So prepare for your wildest dreams to come true.”  Nova drew her sword, and thrust it high into the air.  “Today, we end the Renegades once and for all!  Ready the cannons.”  She turned back to gaze at the ship on the horizon.   “I’m coming for you all,” she whispered..  “You took everything from me, so I’ll take everything from you.”  Nova grinned and leaned forwards.  “I’m coming for you.  And you will not be receiving any mercy from me.”

---

Danna inhaled deeply as she looked around.  No one could see the fear on her face from behind her white veil.  She didn’t want this.  She had never wanted this.  But here she was, about to get married to her best friend.  She hated this.  Adrian had been right, this was a good option.  She never had to be with him.  But it still sucked.  Everything about it.  

Adrian took her hand, and squeezed it.  

“You okay?”  he mouthed.  

Danna nodded subtly.  It was a lie.  That was a huge fucking lie.  Danna was most certainly not okay.  But that didn’t matter.  She just had to make it a few more hours.  Then she could collapse.  Then she could just stop.  But first she had to marry someone she didn’t love.  It felt like she was betraying everything that made her her.  Danna was a lesbian, so how did she end up with a man?  She was marrying her best friend.  

She was betraying everything that she stood for.  

She was betraying Nova.  

And then she saw it.  Her eyes latched on a dot on the horizon, quickly getting larger and larger as it raced across the waves.  

“Adrian,” Danna said.  

The minister stopped talking, and glared at her.  The audience looked at her in shock.  

“Look,” Danna breathed.  She raised a white clad finger to point out the fast approaching ship.  

Adrian looked at her in confusion.  “Who is it?”

Danna shrugged.  “I have no clue.”  She did though.  Her heart felt like it was being tugged towards the fast approaching ship.  It was the Nightmare.  She knew that with absolute certainty.  She knew that just like she knew herself.  

Adrian ran down the ship, and through the aisle.  

“Adrian!” Hugh barked.  “It’s just a merchant vessel.  Get back up there.”

Simon shook his head.  “I don’t think so Hugh.  Why would they pass by Gatlon?  I don’t think it’s a merchant ship.”  

The audience watched as the ship got closer and closer.  

“Does this ship have cannons?”  Adrian demanded.  

Hugh laughed.  “You can’t be serious.  Adrian, this is a wedding ship.  Why would we have cannons.”

“I’m starting to think that we’re going to want them,” Simon muttered.  

Finally, the ship neared close enough to them.  Danna made out the figure standing on the helm, her jacket flapping in the wind.  

Danna grinned.  It was her other half. Then realization dawned on her.  Nova was here.  And there was only one reason for that.  And it wasn’t for the wedding.  It was for the prince.  

“Pirates!”  Adrian shouted.  “It’s the Nightmare!” Adrian looked at Danna.  “Will she kill us?” He asked her quietly.  

Danna shrugged.  “She doesn’t know I’m here.  There’s a good chance, yes.”

“Damn,” Adrian.  “What does she want?”

Danna looked at the Nightmare.  “Probably you,” she said.  

Adrian groaned.  “So much for a happy wedding,” he said.  

“Adrian, it was never going to be happy for either of us.”

He nodded.  “So what do we do? Can you talk her down?”

Danna shook her head.  “There’s no way I could get to her in time.”

Adrian sighed.  “I guess we’ll have to improvise.  I am not dying today.”

“Okay.”  Danna looked at Nova anxiously.  

The Nightmare neared close enough to see the black metal of the cannons poking out.  

“Your majesty!”  Danna screamed, barreling her way towards Hugh and Simon.  “We have to surrender!”

“Surrender?”  Both men looked shocked at the very idea.  

“Yes.  Look!  This is a pirate ship attacking us.  It was built for war.  This wasn’t.  They will tear us apart.  Do you want to send us all to the grave?”

“Well if we surrender, what’s stopping them from killing us anyways?”  Hugh demanded, bristling at her.  

Danna shrugged.  “They must want something.  And it’s better to take the chance, then die anyways.”  She looked up at him.  “Please, we have to save as many lives as we can!”

Simon was nodding along, but Hugh was unconvinced. 

“We can’t let this happen!   We are Renegades, and we don’t back down!” He roared.  

“No!  You're not a Renegade.  You aren’t the person I looked up to!”  Danna screamed.  “You are a fucking coward, and you are to arragant to know when you’ve lost.”  Danna’s chest rose up and down, heaving from the force of her anger.  “Raise the white flag, your majesty.  We’ve lost,” she said quietly.  In that second, she realized how much like Nova she had been talking.  With the same power, and air of command.  The same fear inducing tone. 

“I will not surrender,” Hugh spat back.  

“The Nightmare isn’t killing us, you are.”

“I’m so sorry, love,” Simon murmured.  He slammed a vase on top of Hugh’s head, knocking him out cold.  

He fell onto the deck with a heavy thud.   

The crowd gasped.  

“What are you waiting for?”  Simon demanded.  His face was pale, and he trembled slightly.  “Raise the white flag!”

Danna cursed.  “We don’t have time for this!”  She kicked her shoes off, and scaled the mast, while her parents yelled at her from below.  

Danna ripped her veil off her head, and waved it wildly in the air, trying not to fall off.  

She imagined Nova’s lips curving up into a triumphant smile, as she saw her victory.  

“At least I’ll see you one more time, my love,” Danna whispered as she leapt down.

---

Nova grinned as she saw the cloth flapping in the air.  

“Not a single shot fired,” she said smugly.  

The ships were close now. Nova motioned with her hand, and her crew grabbed onto the ropes tied to the railing.  She stepped up onto the railing.  

“Man the ship,” she called to Moxie.  

Moxie saluted.  

Nova grabbed onto the rope, and leapt off, her body swinging weightlessly through the air.  Her boots landed on the deck with a heavy thud.  

She grinned.  

“Nightmare,” King Simon growled.  

Nova bowed.  “Pleasure to meet you, your majesty,” she said smoothly.  

“You're a girl?”  His eyes widened.  

Nova’s grin widened.  “Guilty as charged.”  She noticed the other king’s still body.  “A little scuffle?”

“Something like that,” the crown prince cut in.  “What do you want?”

“From you?” Nothing.”  Nova laughed.  “Bind everyone’s hands, and feet if you can,” Nova barked to her crew.  “We don’t want anyone running off, do we?”  She raised her pistol and fired a shot.  It struck the wood right next to a woman attempting to sneak away down below.  She screamed, and dropped to the ground, shaking.  

“What do you mean you want nothing from us?” the prince asked.  “Why are you here?”

Nova grabbed his hands roughly, and wrapped a rope around them.  

“The world isn’t all about you, sweetheart.  And you should be thanking me,” she grinned.  

“What do you mean,”  he demanded. 

“You don’t have to rule anymore.  You’ll never bear the burden of the crown.  So… You’re welcome!”  Nova laughed brightly, and threw him down to the floor.  He grunted, and tried to rise up, but Nova placed her booted foot on her chest, pushing him back down.  

“Now, where’s the dear bride?  I have to greet both sides of the couple.”  

“Here,” a quiet voice said.  

Nova stalked towards the source, grinning as people flinched away so quickly they toppled over.  Oh, how she loved being feared.   The rush of power she got.  It made Nova full.  It reminded her of how far she had come.  She wasn’t a helpless little girl anymore.  She had come far.  She had done things that were once considered impossible.  

Nova Jean Artino was the most feared person to ever sail the seas, and she had done it all on her own.  

She was the pirate Nightmare.  And they should fear her.  

Especially this small, quivering white clad figure before her. 

“So,” Nova said, her voice cutting across the quiet deck.  “You’re the girl the prince chose to wed.”  Nova smirked.  “And who is the lucky lady?”  

“You know, I’m hurt you don’t recognize me,” the voice said.  It was low, and achingly familiar.  

Nova raised her eyebrows.  “Should I?  You know I meet a lot of women and-”  she stopped talking suddenly.  The girl raised her head, and met Nova’s eyes with her own.  The dark amber stared at her.  Soft brown skin, and artfully arranged blonde dreadlocks.  

“Hello, Nova,” Danna said softly.  

Nova felt her breath catch in her throat.  Danna was striking in her wedding dress.  Her wedding dress.  Danna was marrying the prince.  Her Danna.  Her Danna was throwing her freedom away.  

“Hello, Danna,” Nova said, struggling to get the words out.  “Sorry to interrupt the happy occasion.”

Danna scoffed.  “I should thank you.  Nothing about this is happy.”

Nova tried to smirk.  “Then, your welcome, milady.”  She sank into a deep curtsy.  

“Nova, what are you doing here?” Danna asked.  

What was Nova doing here?  Just the glance of Danna was enough to knock her off her pedestal.  She lost sight of her goals.  Lost sight of her past.  Forgot everything but the girl next to her.  Danna’s very breath was poisonous.  She slipped into the cracks in Nova’s body, and took hold of her.  She made Nova forget who she was.  

Danna was deadly, and Nova was addicted to her.  

That would not do.  

“I’m doing my job.”  Nova inhaled deeply, and looked away.  “Tie her up, and put her with the others,” she barked to her crew.  “I don’t have time for pleasantries, love,” she said to Danna.  “Take her away.”

“Nova!”  Danna screamed.  “Stop, you have to listen to me!”

Nova paused.  “Gag her too,” she responded.  “I don’t have to listen to anyone.  You listen to me.”  

Nova drew her sword, and stalked down the deck, dragging the tip against the ground behind her.  

“I am in charge here.  You are all my prisoners.  And luckily for you, I don’t care about your pitiful lives.  So, if you behave, you can keep them.  Am I clear?”

A hurried response of yes’s were quickly returned.   

“Good.”  Nova smiled.  “Then, you will not say another word until my uncle is here.”

King Simon looked up quickly.  “Uncle?”

Nova spun around, sword tip already at his throat.  “Did you not hear a word I said?”

He flinched back.  

“Good.”  Nova smiled, teeth glinting.  “Any other comments?”  She asked, sheathing her sword.  

No one responded.  

“Excellent.” Nova laughed.  “Don’t you just love weddings?”  

Tag list: @novissa @thepurpledragon4444  @phobidawg   @renegadse @redassassin @lackadae (let me know if you want to be added/taken off!!!)  

[coffintownkids]

Continuing on with reading the Durarara!! light novels. I had to spend most of my day hanging around in waiting rooms, so lots of time to read! I don’t know if anyone actually cares about me reaction-blogging as I read this series...

But here are my thoughts so far on Vol. 2:

Anri! She’s already handled so much better. I usually don’t notice/mind about typical anime fan service nonsense all that much. I watched all the Monogatari series for crying out loud. But I always thought all the boob jokes about Anri seemed super out of place in the show. Turns out she is ridiculously plain/normal in the books! Kida does jokingly guess her measurements once (which were totally realistic and frankly petite!) so it’s a non-story here. The book also starts off saying it’s already been almost a year since the first book! And while friendly with Mikado and Kida, she doesn’t seem all that close with them yet. I did just about die when she said she can’t like Mikado because she feels the same about Kida and Mika. Girl, maybe you’re just bi lol.

Kida telling that creepy teacher that his life goal is to be a pimp. Anri having to ask him what a pimp is.

All the interviews by Niekawa trying to find the “strongest person in Ikebukuro” are still comedy gold and come across even funnier to me.

Shiki: We don’t fight people (except when we do). That’s the old days (except when it isn’t). BTW, don’t fuck with Shizuo. I will now go on an tangent about how watching Shizuo fight is like watching Godzilla. So long as you’re not the one he’s fighting. Not that we fight or hurt anyone (except when we do). Oh, extra BTW, go see Orihara.

Izaya: Oh, I’d be happy to answer all of your questions. You want to ask me about Shizuo? No. Get out. BTW, I know where your daughter lives.

Shizuo: Fine. I’ll talk with you. I dislike violence. I’m a very nice person. Did you say Izaya? *throws journalist across the street*

Also, Shizuo and Tom don’t just work for some sort of debt collection agency chasing down deadbeats. They actually “collect fees” for a “dating” hookup site??? Are they seriously working for an escort service?!?!?! I did not remotely see that coming at all.

Also, I don’t remember a character tangentially being connected with the police that really fucking hates Izaya. Or that the cops had been building a case against Izaya, so Izaya framed Shizuo for various crimes to take the heat off him. I remember him framing Shizuo for killing those yakuza guys in the show, but that seems unrelated to this. The quasi-cop character implies the best thing that ever happened to Ikebukuro was Izaya moving to Shinjuku. It was mentioned in the first book that Izaya also sold info to cops and criminals alike, so maybe he fucked over the police at one point? Seems pretty on-brand for him.

Shizuo actually didn’t try to control himself as a kid and figured he’d just self-destruct entirely. He still continues to need an outlet for his anger or he’ll destroy himself and he knows it. The only people (as of vol 2) that he admits stay in his life are Tom, Simon, Celty, and...Izaya. Oh man, I know I’m a Shizaya fan but it’s incredibly hard not to read this with shipping goggles on. (Though he claims Izaya only stays close out of extreme loathing.)

Shizuo calling Celty an asshole for not opening her conversation about needing help after she admitted someone tried to slit her throat halfway through said conversation.

I forgot to mention it while reading Vol.1, but it came up again that Izaya and Celty have only known each other for a month. I would have bet money he knew her through Shinra from well before. I did enjoy Celty threatening him and Izaya thoroughly enjoying it until Celty admitted she was actually in love with Shinra. Izaya tried laughing it off, but hoo boy.

Yumasaki apparently self-published his own antisocial manifesto. Karisawa basically called him an edgelord for it.

[connorandersons-blog]

Let’s Give them Something to Talk About

Rating: Explicit Word count: 7039   Ship: RK1000 (Connor/Markus) Chapter: 1/5

Summary: The Jericho team plus Connor need to think up a way to distract the public from the fact that North punched a very important human. What better way than the Deviant Leader dating the Deviant Hunter?

Thank you to @gavincantreedthis for beta reading this!

--------------------------------

Markus paced back and forth, rubbing his hands against his forearms. Connor couldn't blame him, he was stressed too. North had punched a very important man (rightly so, but still) and now public opinion was going down. 

The thing was, everyone still thought Markus and North were together. So, they had to find a way to draw attention away from North and the possibility that Markus condoned it because of their supposed dating. 

There were a few options, but none seemed to be dramatic enough. Since androids could now legally marry, the population had been asking when Markus was going to propose to North. 

Connor hated it. It was putting pressure on Markus where there shouldn't be. He shouldn't have to worry about breaking the news to the public now and have it backfire. Or have people assume it was because of the punch. 

Then the door slammed open and North, Josh, and Simon came in. North was stomping her way in while Simon and Josh moved much more silently. 

"Those fuckers are saying I punched him ‘cause he was flirting with you! Ugh!" North said, throwing her hands into the air. "I may have kissed you that one time but like, ew! I literally have a girlfriend now." 

Right, Connor had introduced Tina and North together after he overhead Tina commenting about how amazing North was one too many times. 

They hit it off incredibly well and it didn't take long for the two to kiss and get together. Connor felt like a proud parent whenever the two were around each other. 

"I know, we need a distraction. Something to make them forget about that. Just coming out with the full story won't do any good," Markus sighed, finally sitting down next to Connor. 

It had taken Connor awhile, but he now felt comfortable enough to place a soothing hand on Markus's back.

Markus was the type to seek out physical contact while Connor generally shied away. It wasn't like he had the best history with being touched. After all, it was generally someone punching him or Hank's rare hugs. 

He did his best to at least pat people on the shoulder, but even then it was a bit awkward. The only two people he felt even remotely comfortable touching without explicit permission was Hank and Markus. 

Markus sighed and leaned into the touch, smiling slightly at Connor. It's hard not to smile back when someone like Markus is smiling at you. 

"You two could say you're dating," Simon said, making Connor practically jump out of his synthetic skin. 

He pulled his hand back like he had been shocked (which is entirely possible actually) and sat up straight. 

North made a small sound, nodding her head. "That's not drastic enough, but I think this could work." 

"North," Markus said, squinting at her. She waved him off, still clearly thinking. 

"You need to get married." 

"What?!" Connor and Markus said this at the same time. 

It made North snort and glance at the other two. "It makes sense. You announce that you're engaged to Connor, and explain that we split up right after the revolution. People will eat this up. Deviant Hunter fell for the Deviant Leader himself." 

Connor hated to admit it, but this might actually work. He was sure he could make it believable but this would end three ways. 

The first was that they staged a breakup before or after they actually got married. The second was they let it slowly die out until no one even cares anymore. And the last was that they actually stayed married. He highly doubted the last would happen, but statistically speaking, there's always a chance for unlikely events to take place. 

"I don't want to do that to Connor, it's unfair. If it just affects me that would be fine, but I don't need to drag anyone into this," Markus said, shaking his head. 

That was sweet, but Connor would do anything to help them. He fucking stormed the Cyberlife tower single-handedly for crying out loud! "I'm in if you are." 

Markus snapped his head around to stare at Connor, who could only shrug. "No, we can think of something else." 

"If it's me that's the problem, then I'm sure Simon wouldn't mind," Connor said, trying to play it off as chill. Admittedly it did hurt somewhat. He didn't have feelings for Markus in that way but he wasn't opposed to the idea either. 

Was Connor really that unlovable? 

It must have shown on his face because Markus was quick to put his hand on Connor's knee. "It's not that. I don't want to make you uncomfortable and lose you as a friend." 

"You won't lose me. From my calculations, it'll only take over a month until this dies down. We announce our engagement and jump right to a wedding if you really want to distract people." Though, the whole world was focused on them and everything they did. 

"It's not a bad idea, Markus. If you're both willing then I don't see the problem." Josh finally spoke up. 

That seemed to do it for Markus as he nodded. "Alright, but he can't just rush into this. We have to plan this out in a way that feels natural and not like a purposeful distraction." 

"Yeah. Maybe let the news 'catch' the two of you on a date, holding hands. Make it look like you're hiding it," North suggested. 

Hold hands, Connor could do that. Maybe even a small kiss on the cheek, nothing too crazy. 

"Then maybe they can catch you making out. Oh! Maybe against a wall. Not sure who'd be the top but you guys can figure that out." North said, flapping her hand like it was no big deal. 

In reality, it was a really big fucking deal. But he didn't have to think about it too much right now. It wasn't like they were going to be caught doing that anytime soon. 

Markus's eyes went wide and he started rubbing his forearms again. A nervous tic, Connor noted, but didn't think too hard on it. He was nervous too, so it didn't mean anything. "Are you sure? Maybe they can just catch us on a few dates then we announce our engagement." 

North quickly shook her head. "No, you have to work up to it. Small dates first, make the media think they are catching something secret. Then start getting bolder. If someone full-on interrupts you then you can try to play it off or convince them not to tell anyone." 

"When the media really starts pushing and asking we wait just a bit longer before you two do your little engagement. You don't have to actually purpose out in public, but I can get you into a talk show to do it if you want." Josh said. 

Once again Connor hated how much sense it made. "We'll have to come up with the backstory. The fewer lies involved the better for believability. We can discuss who will do what later. It would be better if all of you knew the backstory too as you probably would have been there for most of it."

He still had his job as a detective but he was often working as Markus's bodyguard (even though he didn't want one) when cases were slow and he wasn't fully needed. 

"Alright, so North and I broke up after the revolution. You and I slowly got closer and closer." Markus says, glancing at Connor. "Oh, maybe we got together after that one conference." 

That made sense. Connor had been working as the bodyguard but a man still managed to get a shot at Markus. He thankfully didn't hit anything important but Connor couldn't stop blaming himself for weeks. It was totally reasonable that that's when they would have gotten together.  

"Alright, sounds good to me. How about how we told the others and PDA in front of them?" Connor asked, making mental notes. He didn't want to screw this up, it was too important. 

Markus thought for a second, eyes glazing over just slightly. "North would have caught us kissing. I probably would have been worried about hurting her feelings, but-" he easily got cut off. 

"But I don't give a shit as long as you're happy. Of course, I wouldn't tell anyone without your permission but you'd probably tell Simon and Josh that day." North shrugged. 

Oh, he'd need to inform Hank on the situation. Hank would be the first person he'd tell, and probably the only one if they were keeping it secret. "I'll let the Lieutenant know." 

Josh nodded along before speaking. "We can feed the media anonymous tips saying something like Markus is on a date but we don't know with who. Just enough that it gets them out there and looking." 

Alright, he could do this. North wouldn't get in trouble and the public opinion would go back up. Who didn't love a good secret romance? Well, a fake secret romance but no one else had to know about that. 

"We should start tonight. I can get you guys a reservation at that new restaurant, apparently, it's great for androids." Simon said. 

Tonight?! He thought he'd have more time to prepare. It wasn't like he's dated anyone before so he wanted to do some research. He didn't care if it was completely fake, he still wanted Markus to have a good time and not feel too awkward. 

Now, he was being told he only had until dinner time and he was kind of freaking out. He'd have to pick out a good outfit and maybe change his hair. 

Ok, maybe he was taking this a bit too far, but he wanted to be a good fake boyfriend. Markus deserved someone sweet and kind who loved him. Fake it till you make it right?

No, no that's not right. He was not making it anywhere. This would all die down and everyone would forget about the whole thing. They'd have their little 'break-up' and then they'd go back to just being friends. 

"Alright, Connor do you want to get ready and meet me back here? We can talk over boundaries before our… date." Markus said, flushing a slight blue. Connor was instantly so glad androids could blush after deviation. 

Markus was too cute for his own good. It's no wonder they won the revolution peacefully with Markus's charisma. Not to say that was the only thing, but it definitely helped. 

Fuck, now he was just staring at Markus. In a purely platonic way, of course, Markus was attractive, anyone could see that. "Right, I'll see you soon then." 

Markus gave a slight nod and smile before Connor stood up. North gave him a thumbs-up, and Josh and Simon tried to give him encouraging smiles. 

The ride back to Hank's was incredibly slow but that did give him time to do some research. He looked up tips to be a good boyfriend, what type of clothes to wear on a date, and small talk ideas. It wasn't much, but it was definitely a start. 

He no longer felt the need to knock on the door, so he just walked right in. At least he wasn't going through windows anymore, which Hank loved to bring up every chance he got. 

Sumo slowly got up to greet him, and Connor took that chance to compose his thoughts. He had no doubt that Hank would go along with this, but that didn't mean he wouldn't tease him relentlessly. 

"Didn't think you'd be back till later," Hank said, sitting on the couch and reading a book. It was one of his older ones that Hank had suggested (well, more demanded) he read after the revolution. 

Right, he could do this. "I've got a date tonight." Fuck. 

Hank's head instantly whipped around and the book almost fell from his hands. Ok, that was a little bit of a dramatic reaction, it wasn't like he was undateable. 

He just never found anyone he really wanted to be with, and no one ever fully understood him, android or otherwise. 

A few androids feared him while others put him so high on a pedestal that it was odd to even talk to them. The only androids he felt truly comfortable around were the leaders of Jericho. Because of that and his part, most people thought of him as a leader as well. 

"Alright, come sit. I need to hear everything and need to know if I need to kill someone." Hank said, putting his book down. 

The image of Hank threatening Markus was amusing but he had no doubt that he wouldn't do it. 

He did as Hank said and slowly sat down next to him. "Ok, well it's not exactly a date, but it is." 

Hank stared at him for a few seconds before waving him on to continue. 

"So you remember North punched that guy?" He asked and Hank gave him the 'bitch please' look that made him snort. "Well, we decided that there needs to be a distraction and they decided Markus and I would 'date' and get 'engaged'."

Hank sat there for a few seconds before facepalming. "Of course. Fuck, that might actually work though. So you have a fake date with Markus tonight?" 

Connor nodded and fiddled with his coin. "I do. I'm to get ready and meet him back at New Jericho so we can talk about boundaries." 

"Well, at least that's good. Just don't go falling in love or anything," Hank said, patting his shoulder. 

Connor huffed and rolled his eyes. "I won't, don't worry. We're just doing this to help out North and then we can break up or just let it die out." 

Hank sighed and shook his head. "Sure you won't. Alright, you better go get ready then for your date." 

"It's not actually a date, but I do need to get ready. If anyone asks, Markus and I got together after the conference where Markus was shot," Connor said, standing up. 

Hank gave him a hum and waved him off. Connor grinned in return and went to his room, closing the door behind him. 

He went through his closet, pulling out outfits and trying them on before huffing and pulling it all off. Nothing felt right for this. Markus had seen him in almost every form of dressing, from his work clothes to his pajamas. How could he make a bold impression? 

Oh, this might do. He pulled out a pair of men's black skirt pants, black lita high heel, and a men's solid black lace cut out patchwork button-up shirt. 

He put it all on and stepped in front of the mirror. He had to admit, he looked good, but something was still missing. 

He grinned at himself before running over to his desk and pulling out the eyeliner Hank got him after he expressed interest in it. He hadn't worn it out before, but he very much enjoyed putting it on. 

Once he was done he ran a hand through his hair, making it go back to its natural curly state. 

There, now he was ready. If nothing else then he looked good and everyone would be shocked. He loved experimenting with clothing and found that he loved dressing in all ways. 

Sometimes he'd dress more feminine, while others he tried to be more androgynous or masculine. He normally didn't dress too femininely when leaving the house, so only Hank really got to see him wear a skirt. 

He thought this look was more androgynous and he really hoped Markus was ok with this. He honestly didn't know why he liked dressing in different ways, but part of him was scared Markus would find it odd. Though, Markus is one of the most open-minded men he knew. 

Alright, he could do this. Just a fun night out with Markus. Maybe a little hand-holding and possibly even a kiss on the cheek. He had nothing to be nervous about, it wasn’t like it was real. 

He looked in the mirror one more time before leaving the room. In all, getting ready had taken an hour, which wasn't too odd for him. He preferred looking well dressed no matter what he was doing. 

He walked over to Hank and did a small twirl, showing off his outfit. "What do you think? Is it too much?" 

Hank's eyes went wide and he gave him a slight nod. "Not bad son. The makeup was a good choice. Markus is not gonna know what to do with himself when he sees you." 

Connor flushed blue but didn't hold back the grin. Hank may tease him but he was also incredibly encouraging and supported almost everything he did. (He did not support Connor licking evidence but whatever)

"Thank you! Alright, I should probably get going. I'll be back tonight but don't feel the need to wait up for me." Connor said, giving a few scratches to Sumo before going to the door. 

"Yeah, yeah. Have fun on your fake date kid," Hank said, giving him a thumbs-up before going back to reading. 

He did a bit more research on his way back to New Jericho and now felt confident enough to actually go on this date. If it was actually real, that is. 

He got a few stares on his way to where Markus stayed at New Jericho, but he took it in stride. He knew he looked good, so it didn't matter if other people thought he was weird. 

Markus's door was already slightly open (he'd have to go over safety protocols again) so he gave a slight knock before walking in. 

Markus was sitting on his couch looking just as stunning as always. He had his long jacket on with the black suit underneath. 

When Connor walked in his head snapped up and his mouth hung open just slightly. "Connor! Oh, wow you look… you look really good. Are you wearing makeup?" 

Connor shifted from foot to foot, nodding. "I am. I can change if my outfit isn't appropriate." He really didn't want to, but he would if need be. 

Markus quickly stood, shaking his head. "No! No, you're fine. I was just surprised is all. You look stunning." 

Connor blushed and his eyes darted around the room, trying to find something other than Markus to stare at. "Thank you. You look good too." 

There was a long awkward silence before Markus cleared his throat. "Right, we should talk about boundaries. I know we are doing this for North, but I don't want you to do anything you're uncomfortable with." 

Markus slowly sat back down and patted the cushion beside him. Connor gladly sat, turning to face Markus. "I'll let you know if I am, but that goes for you too."

Markus grinned at him before staring down at his lap. "So I guess we should get the big one out of the way. How do you feel about kissing?" 

Connor's heart skipped a beat and he wished he had pockets so he could have had his coin with him. "I've never actually been kissed before, but I'm a quick learner." He hated admitting it like that. 

Sure he was interested in kissing people but work and helping his people always came first. 

It seemed Markus was beyond shocked because he just sat that silently for what felt like hours. "We don't… your first should be with someone you care about. I don't want to take that away from you." 

Oh, so that's what he was worried about. Could this man get any more perfect? "I don't mind, but I just didn't want to kiss you and it be horrible. I've tried to look it up but most say that practice with an actual living being is the key to success."

Plus it wasn't like he had anyone to practice on beforehand. There was no way in hell he was kissing Hank and he didn't really care about it too much anyway. It was just lips touching, he didn't see the significance to it. 

"Oh, well… do you want to? Like, can I? I don't want your first to just be out in public, I think it would be better to do it here. Or I can get Simon, Josh, or North for your first. I'm sure they'd all be willing." Markus said, looking between Connor and the couch. 

Connor huffed and reached over, pulling Markus to him and softly pressing their lips together. 

Markus didn't instantly pull away, instead, he brought a hand up to cup Connor's cheek. 

But then Connor pulled back, his heart beating a bit too quickly for his liking. For a first kiss, it wasn't the worst, but it wasn't the best either. 

His lips tingled slightly and he couldn't help but lick them. Markus's lips were soft but that was to be expected, they were made to be so after all. There was still something so… shocking about it but he couldn't place why. 

"Connor," Markus sighed out, still gently holding his head. Connor leaned into it and stared at Markus. "I, um, wow. Hopefully, that was good?" 

He nodded and grinned. "It was. So, kissing is alright with me if you're fine with it too." It was a nice feeling, and he'd actually like to do it again, but there was no one around that they'd have to fool. So he pulled back completely and Markus brought his hand back to his lap. 

"It's definitely fine with me. How do you feel about PDA? We'll have to do some but I won't do it too much if it makes you uncomfortable," Markus said. Honestly, Markus would make an exceptional boyfriend if this was real. 

"I'm fine with it as far as I know. I'll let you know if it does make me uncomfortable or I don't like something." He's only ever had platonic PDA but even then it was incredibly limited. 

Markus made a small pained sound. "Once this is over, are you still ok with PDA? If you don't want to be touched normally I won't, but if you do then you don't have to ask. You can just hold my hand or anything you want." 

Oh, that was an incredible offer. He had had the want to hold hands or ask for a hug but he always pulled back. He didn't know what was appropriate or wanted. "Thank you… can I hold your hand right now?" 

He offered his hand and Markus instantly took it, giving it a slight squeeze. Markus's hands were warmer than Connor's and slightly bigger too. They were incredibly soft but he also had a few calluses from painting and playing the piano. 

Part of him wanted to deactivate his skin so he could feel even more, but he decided against it. Holding hands was one thing, possibly interfacing while doing so was another. It was a bit too intimate for his liking. 

"Is this ok?" Markus asked, lacing their fingers together. Connor quickly nodded and lets out a soft sigh. 

This was definitely ok. It felt more grounding then he expected it to. "Yeah, it is." 

They sat there for a bit, Connor looking between Markus's face and their hands. 

"Oh, I do think this is important to say," Markus broke the silence. "When we do get-have to make out, it's totally fine if your body reacts a certain way. It's not odd and I'll do my best not to make it awkward if it does happen." 

Oh. Huh, it's a good thing Markus thought of that. He'd probably react and then everything would be awkward. It's good he got this out of the way now. "The same goes for you too. You don't need to feel embarrassed if it happens." 

Markus gave a slight nod. "Thank you. I am serious when I say that if anything, anything makes you uncomfortable you let me know. I won't hold it against you and you won't upset me at all." 

"Again, the same goes for you too. I'm planning on being the best fake boyfriend you've ever had." He said this with a wink. 

It got Markus to snort and shake his head fondly. "I'm sure you'd make an amazing boyfriend, and you'll make a great fake one too." 

Connor grinned and gave his hand a slight squeeze. This was going to be his easiest mission ever by the looks of it. Plus he'd get practice in dating so when he actually dates someone he won't be completely new too. It's a win-win situation. 

"Alright, if there's nothing else then we should get going to the restaurant. Josh said he sent a message to a news station. We need to be somewhat subtle, but only enough that they don't outright approach us." Markus said, moving his fingers around, making Connor giggle slightly. 

He wondered what his hands felt like. He probably had a few calluses himself from holding a gun. Were his hands as soft as Markus's? Did he actually like holding his hand? Was he making this weird by staring at their hands? He hadn't held hands before so he didn't know what was normal for it or not. 

"Connor?" Oh, right, he still hadn't replied yet. He blinked rapidly then looked up at Markus. 

"Alright, sounds good to me. Do you want to get a cab? I doubt you wanna ride my motorcycle." Connor said, standing up and using their connected hands to pull Markus up with him. 

He'd only gotten the motorcycle recently, but he absolutely adored it. He loved the feeling of the air on his skin, and taking turns a bit too fast. It was beyond exhilarating. 

"Actually, I'd love to if you'd be willing. I haven't ridden on one and I've wanted to since you got one." Markus replied, pulling Connor out and to the elevator. 

Connor swung their arms just slightly, smiling as he did. "Yes! I'd let you drive but I think it's best if you don't have to worry about that for your first time." 

Markus gave a nod and when they got to the parking deck, put the offered helmet on. Connor may drive a bit roughly but he always made sure he was safe.

Connor climbed on first and made sure Markus was steady as he got on behind him. "Alright, you're going to want to hold onto me at first. Once you're used to it you can just hang on slightly, but for now, don't be afraid to squeeze me." 

Funny enough Gavin was the one that made him truly interested in getting a motorcycle. Plus when he got one Gavin actually offered to show him how to drive it. That seemed to be their bonding moment and now they actually got along somewhat. 

Markus leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Connor, but didn't squeeze too hard. At least not until Connor started the motorcycle and revved it. Ok, so he may be showing off, but he was just proud of his bike. 

Markus clung to him as he drove, but other than that he didn't seem scared at all. From his breathless laughter, he seemed to be enjoying it quite a lot. 

Connor took them the long way and down streets, he knew he could get away with going a bit over the speed limit. He didn't want to push it too far, but he couldn't help it, this was just too fun. 

He parked the bike and got off, offering his hand to Markus who gladly took it. He seemed a bit uneasy on his feet but otherwise fine. 

Connor pulled his helmet off, running a hand through his hair to try to tame it somewhat. Markus was lucky he didn't have enough hair for a helmet to mess up. 

Once the helmets were off, Markus offered his hand to Connor who gladly took it. Then they walked into the restaurant and up to the hostess. 

"Welcome to La Récolte, do you have a reservation?" She asked before looking up. Her eyes went wide at the sight of Markus but she soon looked over at Connor and her jaw dropped. Quickly, she pulled herself together. 

"Table for two, for Markus Manfred and Connor Anderson," Markus said, leaning closer to Connor. 

 She tapped a few things into the computer before nodding. "Of course, Mr. Manfred, please come with me." 

 The two followed after her, not letting go of the other's hand even when they had to walk single-file. 

They sat down near the back so they wouldn't draw too much attention, but they still had a good view from the windows. 

Markus pulled out his chair for him without hesitation before sitting down across from him. 

"Can I start you off with a bottle of wine? We currently have a Meiomi Pinot Noir from California that I would suggest," she said while placing a menu in front of each of them. 

Connor didn’t want to let Markus go, but he did to look at the menu. "If it's alright with Markus," he said, looking up and locking eyes. 

Markus kept his eyes on him while he nodded. "That sounds amazing, we'll take a bottle of that. Feel free to bring out whatever appetizers goes best with it." 

The woman nodded before leaving almost silently. The two stayed still before Connor broke it by looking back down at the menu. 

"So, um what’s the best thing that has happened to you this month?" He couldn't stop himself from cringing at his own words. 

Markus snorted and leaned forward, batting his eyes. "Oh, definitely this. I've been wanting to finally take you on a real date since we got together." 

Connor had to hold back his laughter as he leaned in too. "You're too sweet. I'm glad we waited though, I was a bit nervous about possibly having too much attention on us." 

Markus reached out and gently brushed a curl out of Connor's face. Connor went completely still and his eyes widened slightly. 

Markus was staring at him so intensely that it made him want to squirm in his seat, but he kept still. "You have beautiful eyes." 

Connor's breath caught and he had to break eye contact. He knew it was fake but he didn't get complimented all that much. He'd get told he did a good job or that he was one of the best detectives, but this was different. It made his whole face flush and he bit his lip. "Thank you." 

Markus slowly pulled his hand back, but Connor missed the flashes of emotion that went across Markus's face. "Of course." 

He always thought Markus's eyes were beautiful but he never brought it up. He knew some of Markus's story and he knew he had to replace a few biocompents. It was probably traumatic so he avoided it altogether. 

"What do you like to do in your free time?" Connor blurted out when the silence got to be too much. 

Markus leaned back in his chair with a small grin. "You looked up conversation starters too, didn't you?"

Connor sighed out and nodded. "I did. I didn't want this to be awkward since this isn't re-uh since it's our first date out in public." He's glad he caught himself, but that was a little too close for his liking. 

"Don't worry, I did the same. As for your questions, you already know baby. If you aren't at work then you're with me." Markus said with a small shrug. 

Connor made a small sound before he could stop himself. But it seemed Markus took that the wrong way as he instantly lowered his voice so only Connor could hear. "I'm sorry, is that too far?"

Connor quickly shook his head. "No, no it's fine. I just wasn't expecting it. As I said, I've never actually done this before."

 Markus sighed in relief and reached out to hold Connor's hand again. Just then a waitress comes over with the wine and appetizers which was a shrimp cocktail. 

The waitress poured their wine out before smiling at them slightly. "Do you know what you would like for the entree?"

Oh, he hadn't actually been reading the menu when he was looking at it. 

"We'll both have the Filet De Boeuf with Potatoes Au Gratin," Markus said, easily pronouncing each word perfectly. The waitress nodded, and when Markus didn’t add on, silently left. 

The two kept their hands intertwined on the table while using the other hand to sip at the wine and eat. It's definitely some of the best food he'd ever had. 

He moaned softly before slapping his hand over his mouth. "I'm so sorry. My processors are much more sensitive on my tongue and it just tastes really good." Wow, he was fucking up a date that wasn't even real! 

"It's fine! I'm glad you're enjoying the meal. I wouldn't be a good boyfriend if I let you eat something disgusting." Markus said, taking a slow sip of his wine. 

Connor couldn't help but notice a few people glancing their way. It was almost definitely Markus. It would be like the Queen of Britain going into a restaurant, everyone would notice at some point. He was just too recognizable. 

Connor did notice someone bringing out their phone and he quickly snatched his hand back and put it under the table. They were being a bit too obvious with the hand holding. 

Markus frowned but quickly looked around and saw what Connor did. Right, they weren't here just to have fun. They both had a mission to accomplish. 

The two went about their dinner and thankfully avoided any more awkward silences and bad conversation starters. 

They already had so much to talk about and even if there was a lull in the conversation it never put Connor on edge. 

It was also quite fun to fake flirt with Markus in the silliest ways. They'd make jokes that others wouldn't understand and then use those to throw in some flirting. 

The entrees were just as good as the appetizers and before they knew it they had finished their meal. They both decided to skip dessert and Markus paid for the meal. Connor had tried. but Markus had reached out first when it was offered. 

The two left the restaurant full and happy, smiling wider than they had in awhile. 

Connor felt something odd and discreetly looked around before finding what made his skin itch. They were being followed. Probably by a journalist, so that was good. This is what they wanted. 

Connor laced his fingers through Markus's and walked closer to him to whisper in his ear. "We're being followed. Don't do anything too dramatic." 

Markus gave a slight nod and turned his head to grin at Connor but also to look to where someone was indeed following them. 

The two kept walking to Connor's bike and Connor offered the helmet again. "I'll drop you back off at New Jericho?" 

Markus nodded and easily slid into the bike behind Connor, wrapping his arms around him again. This time one held him by his lower stomach and the other crept up to his chest. Markus rested his head on Connor's shoulder and gave him a slight squeeze. "It's too bad you can't stay the night. I was hoping to spend more time with you." 

Connor shivered slightly and subconsciously leaned back into Markus's warm embrace. He didn't know if the reporter could hear them, but even if he couldn't, whoever it was would probably be able to guess what was said. "I've got work tomorrow, you know that. I'll make sure to get some more free time soon." 

Markus sighed and Connor arched his back just slightly. Probably not enough to be noticeable by Markus, but that didn't mean it wasn't slightly embarrassing. He knew Markus said he shouldn't be embarrassed but it was hard not to be. 

He probably just reacted so easily because this was all new. If this wasn't then he'd probably be more cool and collected. 

"That's alright, as long as you give me a goodnight kiss." Markus chuckled and Connor started the engine. 

"I make no promises," Connor said before pulling out and getting into the street. There was plenty there to work with and he had no doubts that it would be all over the place by the morning. 

As promised he did drop Markus off at New Jericho but both seemed to be stalling a bit. Connor stayed on the bike, but Markus had gotten off and handed his helmet to Connor. 

"I really had a fun time tonight. We should spend more time together, just me and you." Markus says, rocking back and forth on his heels. 

Connor runs a hand through his fluffy hair with a chuckle. "Well, we're definitely going to be doing that more often now." 

 "Yeah, but real. As friends, you know? You're one of my closest friends but I sometimes feel like you keep part of yourself hidden around us, and me." Markus says, looking between Connor and the ground. 

Connor couldn't help but pause. "I… I sometimes feel like I don't know who I really am. I know what I was meant to be, but I'm not sure what that makes me now."

It was hard to get that out but when he did it felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He didn't know who he really was, but maybe that was normal. 

"You can be anything and anyone you want to be. The only requirement is that it makes you happy. If being a detective makes you happy, then do it. If not? Well, maybe you should find something that does?" Markus suggested, reaching out to take his hand again. 

"How do I know when I'm happy? There's just so many emotions and I can't always tell the difference. I know I feel something when I complete a case but what if that's just my programming? What if I'm more machine than alive?" He said, breath coming out in short puffs.

Then Markus pulled him into a hug, and, honestly, it was a bit awkward because of the bike. That didn't stop it from being one of the best hugs he's ever received. 

Markus hugged him like his life depended on it. It was like if he let go then they'd both drown, and Markus would never let that happen. He'd stay here forever if that's what Connor needed. 

"Connor, you can't get rid of your programming. It is part of you and that's ok. You don't have to embrace every part of it, but maybe there are small pieces you still like. Just because we are machines doesn't mean we can't also be alive." Markus said, slowly rubbing his back. 

Connor shook slightly in his hold. Markus was amazing and literally led a revolution, but that didn't make what he said exceptional. What got to him was that he knew Markus cared about him as a friend and he really meant it. He wasn't just saying it to make him happy, he was saying it because it was true. 

After a few minutes, Connor slowly pulled back slightly, no longer shaking. "Thank you, and I'm sorry I ruined our fake date with this." He said, trying to laugh it off. 

Markus took his face in his hands and looked at him dead on. "You didn't ruin anything, Connor. I'm so glad you opened up, and I'm always here for you. If anything you made the night even better." 

It was hard to argue with that when Markus was staring him down like he did while leading the revolution. It was so intense that it sent a small shock down his spine. "I… thank you." 

Markus smiled and gently brushed his thumb against Connor's cheekbones. It was so tender that it almost hurt and Connor didn't know why. 

Why it hurt and why Markus was holding him like he was the most precious thing on Earth. 

Why did this make his heart flutter and his stomach twist? He didn't even have a stomach! It frustrated him because he didn't know the cause. He didn't know why he wanted to run away but also get closer at the same time. 

Then Markus brushed his thumb against Connor's lip and he jumped slightly. "Sorry, you still owe me a goodnight kiss." 

"Markus!" Connor laughed, gently pushing at the other's chest. 

Markus grinned back and moved his hands down to rest on Connor's shoulders. "Alright, how about on the cheek then? Come on, you know you want to." Markus said, turning his head. 

Connor rolled his eyes but leaned in. Before his lips could touch Markus's cheek he had turned his head so his lips landed partly on his lips. 

"Markus!" Connor shouted again, not holding back his laugh. If anyone was looking out then they'd probably think this was real. Not that it wasn't, but it wasn't the way they'd think it was. 

"Sorry, it was just too easy. Everyone needs a little bit of Connor every now and then. I'm just lucky that you're comfortable enough to," Markus said, smirking at him. 

Connor flushed and broke eye contact, accidentally looking down to Markus's lips before snapping back up. "Yeah, yeah. I really should be getting home though. Hank won't go to sleep until I'm home safe no matter how much I try to tell him I'll be fine." 

He adored Hank but the man could be a little overprotective. He knew why and it was heartwarming but also sad. He really wished he'd gotten to meet Cole. 

Markus sighed and stepped back, arms falling to his sides. "Alright. I'll let you know when the next date is, alright? Please drive safe."

"You know I always do," he said with a wink before pulling his helmet on. 

Markus steps back and Connor revves the engine before glancing at Markus. 

"Goodnight babe," Markus called out with a wide grin. Connor snorts but he can't stop thinking about that grin for the rest of the night. 

[otherpeoplesheartachept-2]

TRANQUILITY BASE

Here’s my @coexchange piece for @that-bi-bliophile! 

I hope it’s okay I stretched your prompt to fit an entire album. I listen to the album Tranquility Base Hotel and Casino by the Arctic Monkey a lot and it’s inspired countless daydreams so I figured I’d fit a Snowbaz bullet point fic into this universe. If you don’t want to listen to an entire new album (which is understandable) but want a feel for the album and the vibe I’m going for, I’d suggest listening to the songs Star Treatment, American Sports, and/or Four Stars out of Five.

For some background, in this AU Tranquility is an out of date game from an out of date console made as promotion for the real and still existing hotel on the moon. Simon lives on earth, which is currently a weird mix of waste land and advanced technology. Basically global warming isn’t fixed, all rich people just moved to the moon and left everyone else on earth to do the jobs they don’t want. Baz is the child of some of those rich moon people. They’re both like 18 when they “meet” for the first time.

Tranquility The Game is Simon’s way of escaping the reality of his shitty father and taxing job. The old gaming system is one of the few things he has that matters to him. He’s build up his own imaginary life in this digital hotel, where he’s a successful musician with a band, rich enough to afford stays in fancy moon hotels.

Baz’s dad, head of Grimm Co. is the new owner of the real TBHC. Baz goes to the hotel for a business meeting because Malcolm wants to teach him how to run the company. Baz is bored and finds an old copy of the game and console in some storage closet. He takes it home and boots it up.

He’s surprised to find it works, and even more surprised to find someone else already in the game.

Simon is confused and furious that someone else is in HIS game. He immediately shoves virtual Baz against a wall and demands he leave the game.

Baz is like “what the fuck how does anyone even still play this” but he’s intrigued by the attractive angry game boy so he insults him and keeps coming back to the game.

The relationship is hostile at first (because Simon doesn’t want Baz ruining his virtual world and Baz looks down on Simon for living on earth) but Baz, despite himself, is desperate to get to know Simon, this weird kid clinging to an out of date, boring videogame. And Simon secretly likes having someone to share this game world with, even if he “hates” him.

They get into petty fights a lot and call each other names that are supposed to be insults but are really just thinly veiled pet names. Baz’s favorites are “earthling” and “freckles boy” Simon’s are “fucking posh space boy” and “bastard”.

Baz tries to goad more information about Simon out of him but Simon is very committed to holding on to the fantasy life he’s made up for himself, he won’t even tell Baz his last name.

Despite all their “fighting” they start to warm up to each other.

One day Simon gives Baz a tour of the virtual hotel and Baz explains how different everything is in the real hotel. Throughout the tour Simon starts to open up about his father and his friend Shepard and the crumbling state of planet Earth. (Cue discussion about capitalism and class and how fucked up it is that billionaires just left the Earth and all the poor people to die.)

Baz talks about his life and how isolated he feels because his father and all his “friends” are very emotionally closed off. Simon sympathizes but teases him a little.

Simon: Like you’d rather be anything but a posh moon business man.

Baz: I would. If I could be anyone I’d be an astrologist. What about you, Earthing? Who would you be, if you could be anyone in the universe?

Simon, suddenly somber: My father says dreaming isn’t for folks people like me.

Baz shows up in the game one day to find Simon playing a guitar, he’s quite good at it.

Simon learns Baz can cook after Baz asks if there’s a way to get in to the game hotel’s kitchen (there isn’t). Simon likes Baz about ten times more when he explains how to make the perfect shepherd’s pie. Baz realized he might be in love when Simon starts explaining how good sour cherry scones are and how they should be their own food group.

They go star gazing together on the roof of the hotel. Baz knows a lot about constellations and explains them to Simon.

Baz: You know that isn’t how they look tonight?”

Simon: No?

Baz: No. it takes the light ages to get to us, so what we’re seeing is years behind. Like, look at that star there, it’s been dead for twenty years.

Simon, pointing up: There?

Baz: No, *takes Simon’s hand to readjust it* there.

Simon: Oh… yeah.

Neither of them are looking at the stars at this point. Cue gay thoughts about Simon’s freckles being constellations and some EXTREME pining.

Baz learns they can write in the notepads left in each virtual hotel room. They start leaving notes and little drawings for each other in game when they play and the other isn’t there. Sometimes Simon leaves chords to songs he’s writing. Baz will add lyrics to the songs sometimes. Baz will also flirt in the notes but Simon can never tell if he’s serious or if it’s just Baz being sarcastic and dramatic.

One day Simon’s playing guitar and invites Baz to sing with him. Baz is nervous about exposing his feelings for Simon with the romantic lyrics. Simon gets so wrapped up in listening to and watching Baz sing that he stops playing before the song is finished. They do the classic routine of staring until the other person stares back then quickly looking away and blushing. Again, Major Pining.

At this point they both think the other might be interested romantically, but they’re too nervous to take the next step into actually talking about romance.

One day Baz insists on teaching Simon to dance. They move some furniture in the hotel lounge and figure out how to use the futuristic jukebox in the corner of the room. Simon is clumsy but happy to follow Baz’s lead. (It helps that he can’t physically step on Baz’s toes. However, a few times he does bash into furniture in his real life bedroom). Baz’s hair is loose and falling in his face. Simon can’t stop smiling. Baz is still pretending like this is purely a teaching moment but he can’t hide the faint blush on his cheeks. The music shifts to a slow song. They lock eyes. Simon reaches for a phantom cheek. Baz leans into the imagined warmth of a digital palm. All they hear is their shared breathing and heartbeats until someone speaks.

Simon: If I could be anyone, I’d be someone who kissed you right now.

They can’t really kiss, it’s a videogame. But they finally admit they have feelings for each other.

They daydream about meeting somehow. Simon sneaking onto a cargo ship to travel to the moon. Inventing a way to fully convert themselves into part of the game so the never have to leave. The two of them hijacking a spaceship and enough rations to last years, then flying out somewhere in the Milky Way to live out the rest of their lives together. But they know these are just fantasies. They won’t say it out loud, and sometimes, when staring into pixelated eyes and making elaborate plots they forget the impossibility of it all, but they know they can never make these dreams reality.

Any spare time they have is spent in the digital hotel with each other. Simon starts carrying the game console around with him everywhere, even when he knows he can’t play. Baz has stopped showing up for anything he’s supposed to in the evenings, he just locks himself in his bedroom with the game.

“What would you do if I was really there?” becomes a common question.

“It’s a crisp evening here, so I’d pull you in close, keep you warm. Kiss you underneath the sliver of moon.”

“I’d hold your hand. Kiss every freckle I can find on it until I have to push up your sleeve to find more.”

“I’d mess up your hair. It looks better messy.”

“I would punch that stupid look off your face. You can’t seriously think the sun used to revolve around the Earth, that’s fucking insane!”

“I’d tell you… I- I, I never want you to leave.”

Are some of the answers.

One night they’re in the game and Simon’s struggling to stay awake. It’s adorable but Baz tells him he should go to sleep. Simon says he wants to spend more time with Baz. He asks Baz to tell him about space so he’ll stay awake. Baz knows that will put Simon to sleep rather than keep him awake, but he does it anyway. Simon fights as long as he can but falls asleep “next to” Baz within minutes. Baz realizes he’s sleeping but keeps talking about black holes while stroking the digital version of his boyfriend’s hair. And when he’s sure Simon isn’t going to wake up, Baz whispers about how much he loves him before falling asleep as well.

The next morning Simon wakes up alone in the game. Baz wakes up to the sound of his headset cracking under the weight of his skull.

Frantically he tries to turn on the console, reattach a piece of electronics that came off the headset, plead with a god he doesn’t believe in. Nothing works.

He searches for replacement pieces, a new headset, ways to convert the Tranquility game to newer systems, but there’s nothing. It’s a shitty game on an outdated console that no one cared about. He’s heartbroken.

Simon doesn’t realize anything’s wrong at first. He thinks Baz is just really busy for the first few weeks. Then he worries he did something to hurt him. Then he’s angry Baz never bothers to talk to him about why he left. Then he’s scared something happened to Baz.

For a few years he returns whenever he has the time, searches for Baz, or clues that Baz was there while he was away. But he’s never there, and there’s never any notes revealing he just missed Baz. Eventually he can’t stand to keep coming back to the deserted hotel. Whatever happened to Baz happened, deep down they both knew they couldn’t live this fantasy life in an old game forever.

Baz continues searching everywhere in real life and online for a way to get back to the game hotel, to Simon, but all he can find are parts he already has, or headsets that don’t work anymore like his.

Soon enough Simon can’t stand to even look at the gaming console. And he could use the extra money, so he decides to sell it. A local pawn shop takes it for less than Simon was hoping to get, but they said the name scratched into the side really devalues the piece.

After years of searching, Baz finds a full working console with headset for sale online, from an Earth seller. The interplanetary shipping is expensive, but worth it. When the console arrives Baz finds “SIMON SNOW” carved into the plastic exterior. He cries for days.

He boots up Tranquility The Game but he knows he’ll be the only one there. The hotel looks the same as it was the last time he played. He finds a note from Simon addressed to him, angrily asking why he left without a word, then another apologizing, saying he was just hurt but he knows things had to end at some point. Those were three years old. Simon never left anything else.

Baz decides to leave a note of his own: “Simon Snow. I wish I could tease you for carving your name into an electronic device; it’s extremely childish, and probably quite unsafe. Still, in a way I’m glad you did it. If you even found your way back here I’d hate for you to know the depth of my feelings, even after these long years. But I doubt you will. Knowing that is bittersweet. I will admit sometimes I still fantasize about you, about impossible ways we could still be friends, more than friends, anything other than ghosts haunting each other’s memories. Simon Snow, I loved you.”

[takaraphoenix]

Shadowhunters, of course. And Buffy!

Thanks for playing, dear! ^-^

Shadowhunters:

the character i least understand: Maryse, her characterization was so inconsistent, I don’t understand how you go from the neglective-bordering-abusive, homophobic, racist, cold-hearted ice-queen to the hugging, happy, sunshine mom in like a month, that was something that even years of stretched-out, actual character development would have struggled explaining but this show just went “she is nice and supportive now” and like what that’s not how a redemption arc works, you can’t just slap “redeemed” on their forehead and be done with it

interactions i enjoyed the most: what little scraps of platonic dynamics we got - Jace-Alec, Luke-Clary, Jace-Simon, Magnus-Raphael, Magnus-Catarina

the character who scares me the most: I don’t think any of them are really... scary, not even Valentine, he’s disgusting, but not scary, to me

the character who is mostly like me: Simon, maybe, but then I doubt I’m even half as pure of heart as him, but the rambling, the freak outs, the lost in this whole mess? That’d be me

hottest looks character: Depends. Generally, y’all know I am screaming Jace very loudly. Personally though, to me, Imogen, Jia and Maryse, judge me all you want, this show has quality MILFs

one thing i dislike about my fave character: he’s a push-over. I love Jace, I love him to bits and pieces, but he is such a push-over, he just blindly follows all that Clary says or suggests even if it’s the most obvious suicide mission, when his grandma suggests “hey it’d be a good idea to chip Downworlders!” he is too intimidated by the idea of losing her that he actually pulls through with that bullshit instead of speaking up, he lets people walk all over him because he is so desperate to please them

one thing i like about my hated character: her face. I mean, come on, Nicola Correia-Damude is ridiculously gorgeous

a quote or scene that haunts me: every time Jace tries to kill himself. Hits too close to home, I am not good at handling suicidal storylines and I am disgusted by just how much this show brushed the severity of it all off and how the other characters just didn’t give a damn

a death that left me indifferent: most? Like? I mean, who died? Alaric and Gretel, who we never really explored as characters, Valentine, which YAY and because he died twice DOUBLE YAY, Jocelyn, which YAY, Dot had me “she dead now?” like three times to the point that I am still not sure if she ACTUALLY died in the end or if she’s around still after all like what was that I just what, Jace immediately got better after dying, so did Simon, Sebastian’s was just way too rushed, the only one that really fucked with me was Imogen

a character i wish died but didn’t: listen, the Lightwoods should be orphans, potentially should have been for a while, maybe things woulda played out differently

my ship that never sailed: I’m not big on my ships having to be canon, I genuinely don’t need Magnus/Jace to be endgame, but there is one ship I wish had been canon and that’s Luke/Catarina, I genuinely think those two would be a great fit, it’d have been so easy to work off it after they met at the hospital, the cop and the nurse, the Downworlder power couple, Magnus as a matchmaker, this could have been a great canon ship

Buffy:

the character i least understand: each character has their moments/storylines where I don’d understand where they come from, but I guess the one I least understand is Dawn, she is so selfish it drives me up the wall, like I get she’s a teenager but ffs she can’t cut anyone some slack, she’s not a little child and she supposedly grew up with this... I just have zero tolerance or understanding for her selfishness, never had, never will

interactions i enjoyed the most: scoobies, especially the OG three - Buffy-Willow-Xander with each other, but also each time a new member slots in and how they adjust to it, how they interact with each of the scoobies and get established, definitely Giles-Buffy because he is the father she deserves, I have a particular soft-spot for Willow-Spike too

the character who scares me the most: Syd but like. I know he’s a good guy and all but he is a moving, talking, walking puppet and I have an inherent fear of puppets. Every time I rewatch, I forget that he is a good guy because the fact that he is a creepy, creepy puppet overrides it

the character who is mostly like me: Tara probably? She is shy, awkward, doesn’t know her place in the group, can get bright and loud and excited about the things she likes but when she notices everyone looks at her weirdly for her outburst she goes silent and averts her eyes and pretends she’s not there

hottest looks character: SPIKE AND BUFFY. preferably together

one thing i dislike about my fave character: Seeing Red

one thing i like about my hated character: listen, I hate her, but I do love the way Dawn’s character elevates others; be that how it gives Tillow the chance to be adorable lesbian moms, or having Spuffy co-parent her

a quote or scene that haunts me: In a negative manner, the above mentioned Seeing Red. Look up which episode that is and you know what scene I am talking about. In a “it kills me internally” manner, when Buffy sings “I think I was in heaven” because Sarah Michelle puts so much emotion in there and I am a sucker for a public reveal of fears and horrors and how this was put out in the open, man, that gets me every time

a death that left me indifferent: none aside from villain deaths, I guess? I mean, Tara and Jocelyn and even Jenny in how it was executed and what it did to the other characters and yes even Jesse, I am also still hung up on how Willow and Xander lost their best friend in the first storyline and I do think that it should have had more of an effect on them and would have been a good way to introduce their inner workings by showing their grief, but on the pure base of me knowing this would have had said unexecuted effect, it works on me too, like, he was the first person Buffy lost in Sunnydale, the first she couldn’t save

a character i wish died but didn’t: Dawn and no not the way you think, just because I hate her, but because I still think the “Dawn is the key, she was made of mystical energy and she, her whole being is the key” somehow translating to “well, since the monks made her human, we conveniently don’t need the whole Dawn, only her blood and that runs in Buffy’s veins too so we can kill Buffy off”, that just makes very little, very twisted sense because all of Dawn was the mystical energy, not just her blood and why would the mystical energy quality transfer onto Buffy? It was a cheap cop-out and I think Dawn should have died instead of Buffy because she was the key and for all intends and purposes, Buffy dying in her stead shouldn’t have worked because the key was never supposed to be HUMAN, it was never supposed to have blood, so why did the whole thing hinge on a blood-ritual, like the monks coulda turned the key into an actual physical metal key and that wouldn’t have had blood so what did Glory want to bleed out then? This twist was only clever at first glance but the more you think about the less sense it makes so yes, this is the one big plothole and I think Dawn should have died instead of Buffy so there would not be a plothole

my ship that never sailed:GILES/JOYCE. I will die on this hill. He should have become Buffy’s stepdad, he should have NEVER LEFT HER alone there, those two, it was teased, it should have actually sailed (* I consider Spuffy sailed. It has sailed. They are together)

Send me a fandom and I’ll tell you

[ruinedthatfriendship]

t shirt

A/N: In which Demi makes a mistake, Simon decides to roll with it, and the rest of the world finds out. Original file was dated Jan 2014. Yikes. 

Demi was still catching her breath, resting her forehead against Simon’s shoulder and tracing idle patterns over his chest. She was pretty sure her hair was completely tangled to hell by his hands by now, but she couldn’t really find it in herself to care.

“We should stop doing this,” she said quietly after a moment, mostly a weak, perfunctory protest so she could say she tried.

They were sitting together on the couch in his dressing room, Demi straddling his thighs and Simon casually holding her hips, various pieces of their respective clothing scattered in a trail from the closed door to their current location. “You can’t keep reorganizing lunch breaks every time you want to have sex with me,” she pointed out with a smirk. “There are people trying to sing for us, you know.”

Simon shrugged rather arrogantly, leaning back on the couch and giving her a view she made no secret of appreciating in the process. “I can, actually. And I don’t hear you complaining. If you really want to get rid of me, wear something--actually, no, I don’t think there’s anything you could wear that would make you less gorgeous.”

Demi giggled, poking him playfully but privately flattered. He certainly did wonders for her body confidence, if not in the most traditional of ways. She leaned forward to steal one more kiss, jumping backward at the sound of a knock on the door.

“We need you back in ten minutes, Mr Cowell!” Someone called from the hallway.

Demi sighed, pouting at the interruption, before a healthy dose of panic kicked in. “Oh my god, Simon, we need to go!”

Simon watched her scramble up and around the room, looking incredibly amused. She was doing her best to pick up all of her clothing, but her haste actually only served to make the process less efficient.

After a few minutes of frantic re-dressing and an attempt to make herself presentable in his mirror, Demi looked back over at him with a glare. “You’re going to be late if you don’t get dressed!”

“Well, darling, I have neither ridiculous shoes nor makeup to worry about. You should try it,”

“Might just,” Demi muttered, wiggling back into her skinny black jeans and re-tucking in the front of a shirt. She’d chosen to dress down somewhat for auditions today from her usual fashion statement dresses, but she was still rocking a pair of high heeled boots and elegant makeup to pull the whole thing together. It might have been a plain shirt and jeans under a leather jacket, but she was more than fine for an afternoon of auditions. And she certainly had a ways to go before hitting the low bar Simon set with his clothes.

It took a bit more poking and prodding while she did her best to put her hair back into shape, but Simon did eventually get up and move to the closet to find his shirt.

“Are we leaving together?” Demi murmured, rubbing at her lipstick. He obviously didn’t have any in here for her to fix it with, so she was just going to have to do her best to clean it up and hope the cameras didn’t pick up too much.

On their own, any one of her features could be chalked up to some other excuse. As an entire picture, though, she really screamed Simon Cowell just fucked me backstage and there was nothing she could do about it at this point.

“I’ll go first,” Simon shrugged. “After I leave, there’ll be no reason to assume anyone else is down here and they won’t be looking. You might just have to be a little bit late.”

Demi pouted. “But everyone expects you to be late. I’m not supposed to--”

Simon was already opening the door, blowing an exaggerated kiss back at her. “See you on the set, brat.”

Rolling her eyes, Demi finished her rescue attempt on her hair and straightened her clothes one last time, waiting another minute before quietly walking out of the dressing room to an empty hallway and slipping back down to the set.

In hindsight, she should have worn one of her dresses that morning. It would have been harder to mix up. In hindsight, they probably shouldn’t have spent the entire morning frustrating one another. In hindsight, they shouldn’t have given in and had wild dressing room sex. A case could be made for ever sleeping together, but that ship had definitely sailed. In hindsight, Demi shouldn’t have spent so much time in his clothes when she spent time at his house; she might have noticed earlier if it wasn’t so natural.

All she knew when she sat back down in her chair was that somewhere, she’d made a mistake. Kelly and Paulina were wearing twin expressions of shocked, guilty interest, like she was a walking front cover of a gossip magazine in the rack at a grocery store checklane. Simon was just smirking at her.

She could feel her anxiety mounting, but it took Simon leaning over to whisper in her ear before she actually realized what was wrong.

“You look good in my shirt, baby,”

Demi glanced down at herself reflexively, trying to keep her eyes from bugging out of her head in panic. “Um,” Well fuck. She turned back to Simon, trying to convey an apology and a simultaneous cry for help with her eyes. She hadn’t meant to do this, they’d just talked about how they needed to keep it a secret, and she had no idea how they were going to get out of this one.

“Relax, brat,” he murmured. “I don’t care if you don’t.”

Something in her chest warmed at the words, and she reached over under the table to lace her fingers with his. A united front, even if no one else could see it yet. And still, maybe it wouldn’t matter. Maybe no one would say anything. Kelly and Paulina obviously had figured something out, but they could talk to them. Maybe no one else would notice. 

It was a short-lived dream. The first contestant out on the stage was a skinny, wiry twenty-something who looked like he probably still lived in his parents’ basement. “Hi, Demi!” he blurted as soon as he’d reached the center of the stage.

Demi winced. Awkward fans were really her least favorite part. She was suddenly reminded of Britney last season, faced with the weird guy who’d butchered her song and tried to give her flowers.

“And what’s your name?” Simon intervened quickly. He may not have existed, for all the man paid attention to him. “My name is Thomas, and I’m here to sing for Demi, cause I’m really just such a huge fan!” he gushed. “Seriously, Demi, it’s just an honor, like, wow, you’re so much more beautiful in person.”

Demi cleared her throat, feeling that ignoring him would be worse. She pasted on her best polite smile and leaned into the mic. “Thank you,”

Simon’s hand tightened on hers slightly under the table. “Okay, yep, go ahead.” he pushed, irritated and jealous and trying to hurry him along.

His...attempt...at Nightingale was less than impressive. He wasn’t only off-key for the entirety of the song, but fell out of rhythm with the music track and kept trying to throw in provocative dance moves.

Demi was visibly making a face at this point, feeling nothing but relief when Simon’s hand shot up to stop the song after barely hitting the chorus. “Okay,” he said slowly. “I’m going to assume, given your apparent adoration for the lovely woman sitting to my right,” sarcasm laced his words, “that your butchery of her music was accidental? I’m going to be honest with you, I’m sitting here contemplating writing you a check for the $1 million just to not ever sing that again.”

Kelly and Paulina had similarly negative comments, which only served to further agitate the man on the stage. When they finally made it to Demi, she just shrugged. “Sorry, it’s a big no.”

“It was all for you, Demi!” he protested, ignoring Simon’s flat reminder that he had four no’s and needed to exit. “Why are you so ungrateful?”

Leaning into the microphone once more, Demi sighed. Clearly she had influence with this man, she may as well try to use it to get him off the stage. “Thomas? Thanks for coming, I’m gonna need you to go backstage now, okay?”

“It’s cause of him, isn’t it?” he shouted instead, pointing at Simon. “You’re fucking him, aren’t you? That’s his shirt, isn’t it?” That was enough to make the audience start yelling in earnest, and Demi dropped her gaze to her lap.

“Okay,” Simon dropped her hand suddenly beneath the table, smacking both of his down on the desktop and standing. “Enough. Time to go.”

Torn between anxiety and relief that Simon had stepped in, Demi watched with her lip caught nervously between her teeth as he marched angrily up the stairs onto the stage and none-too-gently pushed the still-protesting contestant off stage by the elbow. Beside her, Paulina patted her hand comfortingly, leaning in to whisper in her heavy accent, “You look beautiful. I’m happy if you’re happy.”

At that point, Simon had returned to the stage, and made a brief show of dusting his hands off for the sake of the cameras, throwing a brief eye roll as he jogged back down the steps to the judges’ table. Demi assumed he would just let it go, starting slightly when he sat down and immediately reached out to wrap his arm around her shoulders. “Are you okay?” he whispered.

“Yeah,” she replied hastily. “What are you doing?”

“Just this.” He took his free hand to tilt her chin toward him, meeting her beautifully puzzled brown eyes and feeling his heart skip. And without hesitating, pulled her closer and kissed her hard.

Demi drowned out the roar of the audience behind them, catching his hand and lacing their fingers again while her other arm reached up to slide into his hair. For a moment, she lost herself entirely in the feeling of his lips on hers, a low moan escaping the back of her throat, before Paulina’s gentle hand on her back had her pulling back into reality.

Breathless and smiling shyly, Demi sat back fully in her seat, realizing she’d been about to crawl into his lap, and reflexively fixed her--his--trademark white t shirt. Simon just shrugged, lifting their clasped hands to now rest on top of the desk, and used his other hand to gesture to the stage crew. “Who’s next?”

                                                           ***

Demi woke to the soft chirp of her phone on the nightstand in her hotel room. The sun was streaming through the curtains, and she could hear the shower running in the ensuite. A smile crept onto her lips as she stretched lazily. She and Simon hadn’t even bothered to make a show of taking two rooms last night, and it had been positively delightful. She did love him, she’d love him no matter what, but she couldn’t deny it was nice to be able to walk without hiding.

She reached for her phone, hitting the home button and reading the notification for Twitter. What did he do? She opened the app quickly, finding the tweet in question, which was currently blowing up from his end as well as all of her Lovatics.

@SimonCowell: good morning, love @ddlovato

It was a picture of her asleep, snuggled into the duvet with her hair falling over her face, one arm peaking out just enough to clearly show his shirt hanging off of her shoulder.

She smiled softly at her phone, sitting up and running a hand through her hair to smooth it before opening a new tweet. Her thumbs were still idling over the keyboard, debating a post of her own, when the bathroom door opened and Simon walked back into the room.

“Come here!” she waved him over, struck by a sudden inspiration. His brow furrowed, but he obediently sat down on the edge of the bed, still shirtless with his hair damp and as of yet not styled into that god awful middle part.

She adjusted the camera to make it a tasteful shot--no need to go too far with their respective states of undress--and snapped selfies in quick succession, one of her with her tongue stuck out at him and another of a kiss to his cheek.

@ddlovato: srsly @SimonCowell? the one time you get up before me!

@ddlovato: just kidding love you

She kept her phone hidden from him, prompting Simon to lean over curiously. “What are you doing?”

Demi squeaked, hiding her phone against her ribs. “Hey! Wait for it!”

She watched in amusement as he immediately went for his own phone when it chimed, taking note of his expression as he read her words. She bit her lip, waiting for his reaction.

He looked up a moment later, an unreadable expression in his eyes.

“Too much?” Demi winced.

Simon’s face broke into a smile and he leaned back over, kissing her properly on the lips this time. “I love you too, brat.”