#I just saw someone on YouTube doing it with movies and I thought it was a neat idea!
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recovering-vamp · 2 years ago
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Composition studies of Suspiria (2018).
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girlivealwaysbean · 7 months ago
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it should be studied the way i immediately start crying after masturbating like girl where is the serotonin i was promised
#i just. the memories won't stop one after the other like a messy movie#all that talk about sex and love and a future together#all that teasing at night like oh think of me when you do it#and actually thinking of her for a whole year. how do i just forget#and the teasing the joking about who would play what role but both of us knowing exactly what would happen#but it was fun to tease#and the quiz the teasing referencing the quiz to make a point#and sometimes the honest convos truly vulnerable ones no teasing pure love and want#and sending clips on pinterest and them saying one day#and just. the full comfort and safety. and imagining your whole life with someone and suddenly you have to think aboit other people becaus#well they're gone. and they always said don't have hopes for the future i can't promise and i didn't listen#i think ive moved on but really i don't think i have just have gotten good at suppressing distracting#it's been. a little over a month and still it feels like everything is falling apart my house of dreams and hopes is falling apart around#me slowly and im just sitting in the floor crying#i shouldn't have listened to that gracie song i just. i saw her story and i thought she was going to release it and idk wanted to listen#one last time the youtube live version#ab aise lag raha ki back to square one#i keep having these thoughts involuntarily i don't know how to mske them stop#i remember few weeks ago i was hanging out with my bestie and i miss you im sorry started playing on shuffle from her playlist#and i was like fuck this song she told me about it we loved it gracie was like our artist#and i was like ok ill be brave and listen to it i have to one day na she's one of my fave artists#but we hadn't even reached the chorus and my bestie was like no and changed it immediately she must've seen something on my face#cause a hundred memories flashed before my eyes in those 10 something seconds#can u believe. having so many memories with someone you just text. what the fuck man i can't even remember my syllabus they should fade#okay goodnight
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txttletale · 22 days ago
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hey what DO you watch on youtube? seems like you'd have some neat recommendations :3
i really loathe the like super-highly edited sound effect post-mrbeast slop most of youtube is now so i mostly like stuff that's like... calm and sedate. stuff i've been watching lately in no particular order:
northernlion vods and clips. he's an OG. i especially like his react court series, i must have watched all of them like five times.
speaking of OGs i've been watching zero puncutation (now fully ramblomatic) for like ten years and if anything it's only gotten better. best game review content on the internet. been really enjoying his more recent, slightly longer and more thoughtful 'extra punctuation/semi-ramblomatic' series too.
any austin's skyrim unemployment rate videos. instant classics to me, it's just a guy going around in skyrim trying to figure out the unemployment rate in every town. it's a very dry kind of humour, he plays it admirably straight, and it's weirdly calming.
kitten arcader's foot the bill videos. in a kind of similar vein, he watches the saw movies and then produces an itemized bill for everything jigsaw needed to buy to make his traps. it's kind of like... if cinemasins was fundamentally curious instead of fundamentally incurious, it scratches a similar sort of nitpicky detail-oriented quantifying itch but without inimical to the concept of art.
shuffle up and play. it's a magic the gathering play series that has enough editing that the gamestate is actually legible but not enough editing (or at least, not enough obtrusive in-your-face editing) that its annoying. i also like that they reguilarly play non-edh formats like cube and pauper.
spice8rack. i'm pretty picky about video essays but spice8rack has very obviously actually read books and has interesting things to say about the topics it discusses (mostly magic: the gathering). sometimes it has a kind of grating Theater Kid Energy but the fact that it actually meaningfully structures essays and analysis to earn the silly long runtimes is a rare delight from a video essayist.
jenny nicholson is a long-time favourite and another permanent fixture in my rotation. she's just extremely, remarkably funny which makes her the only 'basically just summarizing a thing' youtuber i think is worth the time of day.
i watch some sketch comedy, mainly wizards with guns and aunty donna, who both consistently put out really funny stuff that's kind of ITYSL-adjacent in its barefaced absurdism and contenmpt for concepts like "stopping a joke at the logical punchline". i also really like alasdair beckett-king and binging the old clickhole backlog for short-form comedy on youtube.
wolfeyvgc is right on the edge of the level of editing i find tolerable but as a long-time fan of multiple esports he Has It, he's absolutelyt fantastic at t elling the narrative of a tournament, explaining plays clearly, and generally making competitive pokemon esports thrilling and interesting ti someone (me) who#s never played it and doesn't care about pkoemon that much
i religously watch every elliespectacular/dathings YTP, the absolute best in the game right now, top tier snetence mixing and really good at actually setting up and paying off jokes in a way it feels like a lot of ytp doesn't. verytallbart is also pretty good.
trapperdapper is a channel i recently binged, it's a really fucking funny parody of minecraft challenge content that veers slowly from obvious angles of parody into pure absurdism with tons of blink-and-you'll miss it subtle visual gags.
too much future is a great youtube series where the two guys from just king things/homestuck made this world play through every fallout game and analyze them in that context. extremely funny and also just top-tier very sharp analysis. really good
another one of the rare good video essayists is jan misali. they're really funny and will go into topics that kind of seem narrow or strange to begin with in such depth and make them so interesting that it's consistently astonishing.
oh and finally sarah z makes pretty good videos. 'the narcissist scare' is an absolutely brilliant deconstruction of one of the most annoying pop-psych phenomena of the last couple years. and remarkably well script supervised i think did anyone else watch it and think 'wow the script supervisor on this must have been, a mind geniuse'
ok i think that's all i've been watching lately. hope you like whcihever of these recs you check out :)
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gilbertscurls · 1 month ago
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Heyyy so i could get this request where reader is triplets bsf since they were young and reader did vid with them on car like who knows reader better and fans notice how Chris looks at her and makes edits of them both and the eventually confess their love and thank youu
hope you like it!! <3
Sparks Fly ➵ Chris Sturniolo
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You’d known Chris Sturniolo and his brothers for as long as you could remember. Growing up with triplets meant your life was always a whirlwind of laughter, chaos, and inside jokes that no one else could understand. Chris had always been your person, though. Even when you were kids, he was the one who sat with you during movie nights, who remembered your favorite candy, and who sent you memes late at night just to make you laugh. He was your best friend—the kind of friendship that made everything feel easy.
That is, until recently.
The three of them had started their YouTube channel a couple of years ago, and it blew up faster than anyone had expected. You were always around, whether it was helping them brainstorm video ideas, holding the camera, or appearing in their challenges. You’d been in a bunch of their videos, just another one of the guys. That’s how it had always been: you, Matt, Nick, and Chris. But lately, things had changed. Or maybe it was just you who had changed.
You couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment you realized you had feelings for Chris—real feelings, the kind that made your stomach flip whenever he smiled at you, the kind that made your heart race when his hand brushed yours. Maybe it was during one of your late-night conversations when he opened up about his dreams, or maybe it was when he laughed so hard at one of your jokes that he snorted. Either way, your feelings were undeniable now, and it terrified you.
Because this wasn’t just any guy. This was Chris. Your best friend. And if things went wrong, you could lose him.
But then there was that video—the one that had changed everything.
It was one of those classic “Who Knows Me Better?” challenges. Chris was in the backseat of the car, next to Nick, while you sat up front, turning around every now and then when you asked ridiculous questions about yourself. “What’s my favorite snack?” “What movie do I quote the most?” It was silly, fun, like every other video you’d done with them.
But when the video went live, the fans saw something you hadn’t.
Within hours, the comment section exploded.
“Is anyone else noticing the way Chris looks at Y/N? 😍”
“Chris is definitely in love with her, right? Or am I imagining things??”
“The way he smiled when he got the answer right... I’m SCREAMING!”
You scrolled through the comments, heat rising to your cheeks. What were they talking about? You and Chris were just friends. That’s all you’d ever been. But when you rewatched the video, you couldn’t unsee it. The way his eyes lingered on you a little too long, the way his smile softened whenever you spoke. It made your heart ache with a hope you weren’t ready to face.
And then the edits started.
Fans put together clips from all the videos you’d been in with Chris—the little moments you hadn’t noticed before. Him reaching out to help you down from a ledge, the way he would always sit next to you without thinking, how he’d glance at you between takes, like you were the only person in the room. It wasn’t just the fans anymore. Even Matt and Nick started teasing him, dropping hints about how “someone” had a crush.
It was overwhelming. You spent days replaying every interaction, every look, every smile, trying to figure out what it all meant. Did Chris really feel the same way about you? And if he did, what would that mean for your friendship? You couldn’t bear the thought of losing him, of ruining what you had. But it was getting harder and harder to ignore the growing tension between you.
One afternoon, you found yourself at their house again, just like always. You and Chris were in his room, lounging on his bed, the afternoon sun spilling in through the curtains. The air felt thick, charged with all the unspoken feelings hanging between you. He was scrolling through his phone when he let out a soft groan.
“Ugh, the fans are relentless,” he muttered, glancing over at you.
“What do you mean?” you asked, trying to sound casual, but your heart was already racing.
He turned his phone to show you. It was another edit—this time, it was a montage of every time he had looked at you with that soft, almost dreamy expression. You felt a lump form in your throat as you watched it. It was undeniable now.
You swallowed hard, forcing a smile. “They really love their shipping, huh?”
Chris laughed, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. He sat up, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah, they do. But… it’s kinda weird, isn’t it? I mean, we’re just friends.”
Your heart dropped. There it was—he had said it. Friends. That’s all you were, all you ever would be. You felt your chest tighten, and you were about to brush it off, make some joke to change the subject, when Chris spoke again, his voice quieter now.
“Unless… I don’t know. Maybe they’re not completely wrong.”
You blinked, your breath catching in your throat. “What do you mean?”
He looked at you then, really looked at you, his blue eyes filled with uncertainty and something else, something that made your heart pound in your chest.
“I mean… maybe they’re seeing something I’ve been too scared to admit,” he said softly. “I don’t want to mess this up, but… Y/N, I think I’ve been falling for you for a while now. I just didn’t want to ruin what we have.”
Your mind was spinning, trying to process his words. Was this really happening? Did Chris just say he had feelings for you?
“Chris…” you started, your voice barely a whisper. “I—”
“I know it’s a lot,” he interrupted quickly, his cheeks flushed with nerves. “And if you don’t feel the same way, we can just forget I said anything. I don’t want to lose you, Y/N.”
You shook your head, tears stinging your eyes. “No, Chris, that’s not it. I… I’ve been trying to hide it too. I’ve been scared because I didn’t want to lose you either. But the truth is… I’ve had feelings for you for a long time.”
His eyes widened in surprise, and for a moment, neither of you spoke. Then, slowly, a smile spread across his face, the kind that made your heart skip a beat every time.
“Really?” he asked, his voice filled with hope.
You nodded, feeling the weight of all your fears finally lift. “Yeah. Really.”
Before you could say anything else, Chris leaned forward, closing the distance between you. His lips met yours in a soft, tentative kiss, and it felt like everything you’d ever wanted but had been too afraid to hope for. The kiss was sweet, filled with all the unspoken feelings that had been building between you for so long.
When you finally pulled away, both of you were smiling, and for the first time in what felt like forever, everything made sense.
“So,” Chris said, his voice light and teasing, “do you think the fans are gonna freak out when they find out we’re actually together now?”
You laughed, your heart full. “Oh, they’re definitely going to freak out. But I don’t care. I’m just happy we finally figured it out.”
Chris grinned, pulling you into another kiss, and you knew, without a doubt, that this was the start of something incredible.
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tag list: @stuwniolo, @sturnobsessedwh0re, @matts-myloverboy, @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut, @lizzymacdonald06, @asherrisrandom, @sturniolowhore69
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galactic-rhea · 11 months ago
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WDYM Anakin is Luke and Leia's dad
I dunno if this post will reach the Star Wars fandom but I hope it does because I'm sure you all will get a good laugh at me.
As of recent I have developed a good hiperfixation for Star Wars, the thing is I knew nothing. NOTHING about Star Wars besides the fact it had aliens and...a war...in space? And funny swords. And main character is Luke or something, I spent over 20 years ignoring anything about Star Wars and somehow missing most references out there.
And recently, literally less than a month ago I saw a gif and said to my partner "oh this guy this guy looks cool, this gif looks nice" and he said "Oh well, he's a good character." And it all developed into me watching Clone Wars, the animated series you know and...and I was kinda blown away, on my opinion the show IS GREAT. And I love every character and their interactions, I love how much they focus on side characters, and they all seem very well written. I got hiperfixated really fast and saw Anakin and I was like "Omg, babygirl. He's a blorbo now."
And because of the show, this was super unexpected, but somehow I also got, really got, into the ship with Padmé because omg, cool woman. Literal happy squeaky noises of someone who was in a bad state and needed some good ol' distraction and comfort.
Now, like I said I knew nothing about Star Wars as a whole. And I still haven't watched the movies, besides the ocassional gif?
So imagine my shock, my surprise, my...bewilderment when I realized.
"Wait a minute, LUKE IS ANAKIN'S SON?! HOLY-"
Ladies, gentleman, and others, I think I came very late to this party and I don't even know how it took me so long.
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Not only that, but because of this sudden love for the series, I went to my friends circle like "BESTIE, GUESS WHAT, I HAVE A NEW BLROBO AND A NEW FAV SHIP AND EEEP"
And my friends are like "omg that's amazing, what is it?"
I tell them, and of course they all know these characters and they all react like they know this very bad secret fact and I got told several times already "Please, don't watch the episodes 2 and 3 alone, it will hurt."
I feel like blissfully walking among rainbows and blue skies while everyone else know that my future is doomed. Somehow.
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(Uncomfortable silence)
Not only that, but then I spent a whole deal of time thinking "Where the heck I have seen these guys" cus there was some fmailiarity I couldn't just point out and then one day I woke up, brushed my teeth and of all sudden I realized and it was such a shock.
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Do you know how SURREAL is to get very into a character, and into a ship, and then realize they're the same from that super widespread meme that has been around for who knows how much time?
I swear I thought that meme was from some old medieval fantasy movies or something.
But alas, Star Wars now is EVERYWHERE. People do references to Star Wars ALL THE TIME and it's just now I'm catching them.
I got spoilers. From a meme. In a youtube review that had nothing to do with Star Wars hah. Everything is a spoiler, the world is an apparent spoiler. Now I'm here, trying to avoid spoilers from something everyone seems to know, even my family knows. It's so surreal and I wouldn't have it any other way 😂
Anyways, if you read until here, know that a wild ride still waits me, cuz I'm only starting Season 3 of Clone Wars and I don't plan to watch the movies until I finish the series.
And yes, I made this blog just to ramble freely about SW and draw stuff because it sparked my inspiration after a long art block.
Have this doodle I drew after watching the two first episodes, my offering for you reaching this far.
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Note: Wouldn't Anakin and Padmé's ship name be Animé? Cuz that's hilarious.
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blackwidownat2814 · 4 months ago
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Steal My Thunder (T.Owens)
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Pairing: Tyler Owens x female reader, Tyler Owens x shy!reader, Tyler Owens x insecure!reader
Word Count: 462
A/N: Welcome to my first Tyler Owens fic! I was throwing fic ideas around before I even saw the movie. I watched several interviews and other stuff on YouTube and took notes even. Then after seeing it the third time, I started working on this story. I don't anticipate this being a real long story, but I also will be a little slow to update because of work or writer's block or working on a crochet project I really need to finish. What I'm really saying is please be patient with me. Secondly, like in my other works, I'd planned to make this with a plus size!reader in mind, but I decided to go with insecure because I want to try and be a little more inclusive. Also, unless otherwise stated, my readers are always female readers. Lastly, I'm already working on Chapter 1, so keep an eye out for that. However, if you really like this, please let me know and I can tag you in future updates. And as always, I will be crossposting this to AO3. If you see this story anywhere besides AO3 or Tumblr, it's stolen Kthxbye! PS: Thanks to KJ & Jordyn for their help in beta-ing and title/chapter ideas! Love y'all!
Prologue
You were a Lead Meteorologist for the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration.  You should not be handling school age tour groups.  You were just about DONE with being treated like a secretary.  The rest of them thought that just because Kate was gone that they could go back to treating you like they did before her.
You were quiet, shy, and someone whose love language was acts of service, so you loved to help people out.  The problem was that your co-workers abused that part of you.  They asked to lead the school groups, bring everyone coffee, put together packets for meetings, etc.  Complete nonsense…and you were done.
It was then, as you mentally typed up your resignation, that you received a serendipitous call from Kate herself.
“I believe the sayin’ is ‘No man left behind’.”
“You’re not an US Army Ranger, B.”
“Yeah, well…”  You trailed off, not wanting to burden your friend with your issues.  Kate always told you that it was okay to talk to her when you needed someone, but you were stubborn.  You were very much of the ‘friends aren’t therapists’ mindset.
“Talk to me B.”
“I’m happy for you, ya know?  You’re back to doing’ something I know you loved.  I can see it in your eyes with each video or stream I watch.”
“Okay, keep your secrets…and thank you.  I am happy.”
“So…what can I do for ya?  Why are you botherin’ me on my lunch hour?”
“Damn!  Sorry about that B.”
“You know I don’t actually care.  Tell me what’s up.”
“I’m callin’ with a job off-”
“I’ll take it.”
“Woah, I haven’t even said what it-”
“I don’t care.  Ever since you left, and because I’m a huge push over, everyone’s been walking all over me.  You know I had to do three tours today?”
“We’ve talked about this.”
“I know Kate.  Just…what’s the job anyway?”  Your friend was silent for a moment, before you heard her exhale.
“It’s storm data analysis really.”
“Elaborate.”
“We’re trying to really get down to the nitty gritty with the data from the EF-5 we got to dissipate last season and see where to improve, how to catalog it in our info database, etc.”
“I’m in”, you said.  “Y’all won’t treat me like some secretary, I’ll be close to home again, and I’ll get to spend all my time with you.”
“We most definitely will not treat you like some secretary.  We’re equal opportunity storm chasers out here.”
You tossed your empty sandwich bag into the trash and pulled up Word to start drafting your resignation letter.
“Say, what are the benefits as a Tornado Wrangler?”  Before Kate could reply, you heard Boonie baby! Woo! in the background.
With that enthusiasm, what could possibly go wrong?
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Tagging: @buckysdollforlife @13braincellsonly
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meangirls-imagines · 9 months ago
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Best Friends?
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Description: Leighton and Reader have been best friends since forever and both fall in love with each other. Tension rises when Leighton gets back with Alicia and Reader finally reaches the breaking point.
WARNINGS: ANGST like a mf.
leighton didn't know what to do.
her best friend was ignoring her. y/n hadn't talked to her in three days. and leighton was absolutely clueless. 
she had tried to reach out to y/n's roommates to figure out why she wasn't talking to her but none of them could tell her either. the blonde was picking her brain for everything she might have forgotten. 
birthday? nope.
friendiversary? nope.
she couldn't think of anything. she had even talked to alicia about it and her girlfriend just shook it off to y/n going through something. alicia reassured her that she would be fine and offered to take her girlfriend out for the weekend to cheer her up. as much as leighton didn't wanna leave, maybe this is what she needed. so, her and alicia packed a couple of bags and drove to new york for the weekend.
back at essex, y/n was in the weight room. it was well past midnight but y/n's thoughts were racing. she kept curling the barbell in her hand. 
all she could think about was leighton. 
how she smiled when y/n made a bad joke. 
how she cuddled up to y/n when it was their weekly movie night.
how she always gave y/n the first cookies when they baked together.
y/n usually wouldn't be thinking this hard about the blonde but something made her feelings go all over the place. 
or, more like someone.
alicia.
it wasn't that y/n didn't like alicia. it's more like alicia didn't like y/n. the girl didn't like y/n the first time her and leighton dated and she doesn't like her even more now that they are out. she never shows her disdain for y/n around leighton though. she doesn't want the blonde to know. 
y/n began to run on the treadmill when a text came through on her airpods.
from bestest friend in the whole world: hey, we haven't talked in a minute. i just wanna check in on you. you're worrying me. alicia took me to new york so if i don't hear from you by the time i come back, i'm hunting you down.
from bestest friend in the whole world: i just saw your location...why are you at the gym this late? you only do this when you're really going through something.
from bestest friend in the whole world: do you wanna facetime and talk? alicia is asleep but we can stay quiet.
y/n got tired of the messages and turned her phone off. 
so much for a peaceful workout.
that became y/n's routine for the weekend. sleep most of the day, workout most of the night.
she received multiple texts and calls from leighton but they all went ignored. luckily for y/n, when monday came around, leighton couldn't come kill her due to her being busy. she managed to hold out until thursday, a whole week since she had talked to the blonde last. 
leighton was a storm that was just waiting to unleash her power. y/n still hadn't talked to her and of it wasn't for alicia taking her on a date every night this week, y/n would've already faced the wrath. 
y/n was in her dorm watching youtube, doing her homework when there was a loud knock on the door. groaning, she got up and out of her room, fully expecting one of her roommates to be on the other side.
boy, was she wrong.
leighton stood on the other side, angrier than y/n had ever seen her. the girl gulped audibly as the blonde pushed her way into the room. "oh, sure, invite yourself in why don't you?" the blonde turned her death glare back to y/n. "yeah, it's the least i can do after my best friend practically ghosted me for no reason for a week!" 
y/n rolled her eyes and went to go back to her room when leighton stopped her. "what is wrong with you this week? you haven't talked to me, you've actively avoided me, and whitney told me that you seemed tired in practice all week. care to explain yourself?" y/n sighed. "no, i don't care to explain myself leighton. wasn't aware you had gone low enough to get your roommate to spy on me."
leighton scoffed. "can you blame me? now, i'm calling for a mandatory sleepover so i can pick that brain of yours and figure out what's going on." y/n shook her head. "don't you have a girlfriend to attend to?" leighton looked at y/n confused. "no, she's at the center tonight doing slam poetry. why would i have to attend to her?" 
y/n shrugged. "i don't know, just seems like you guys are attached to the hip and she refuses to let you do anything on your own." leighton's jaw dropped at y/n's words. did y/n always feel this way? had leighton been a bad friend?
"what do you mean? are you jealous of our relationship? i told you i could hook you up with someone, y/n. why didn't you tell me?" y/n avoided the question. "leighton, i have a ton of homework to do. go back to your dorm." leighton shook her head. "no, we need to talk this out. are you jealous of me and alicia?" after a few minutes of back and forth, y/n finally snapped.
"you know what leighton? yeah, i am jealous. i'm jealous that alicia is the one who gets to hold your hand in public. i'm jealous that alicia gets to take you on dates. i'm jealous that she gets that smile of yours that you used to only reserve for me." leighton stood shocked but y/n kept going.
"i'm jealous she gets to kiss you and sweep you off your feet and treat you like the princess you are. but most of all, i'm jealous that she had the courage to ask you out before i did." y/n had tears streaming down her face, as did leighton. the blonde's voice cracked as she tried to walk towards y/n. "y/n..i-i had no idea. i-" 
y/n held her hand up. "just go leighton. i can't do this right now." and with that, she turned, walking into her bedroom, shutting the door behind her, leaving a crying leighton in the common room.
the blonde grabbed her purse and went back to her dorm.
both girls cried themselves to sleep that night. y/n because she thought she ruined her friendship with leighton. 
leighton because she finally realized she was in love with y/n.
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jeonscatalyst · 3 months ago
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So something I have been thinking since the beginning of AYS. I think JM and JK give themselves away. How someone can look at their behavior and not realize these two have more than a friendship/brotherly vibe. Before I go on a tangent, what I am I trying to say again 🤔. Ohh right. In the previews, we see JK and JM have a pillow in-between them as they sit on the couch while watching TV. Why the damn pillow in-between like it's so obvious! That hug when JM wanted JK to feel how cold he was, I mean. Just go ahead and proper. They crack me up. It's too late. We already know you are together. If they just acted normal 😅. To be honest, I don't blame them it's hard faking not being in a relationship.
Ah I have found my person!
Anon, I have been in this fandom for over 7 years and spent about 5 out of those 7 years being a Jikooker and all through my years in this fandom, I have seen many jikookers give different reasons why they believe Jikook are a together but not many people started seeing them as more for the same reason I did.
I have mentioned before that for me, it was never about the GCFs, the soft looks, the touches or any moments that could be described as soft or romantic or beautiful. For me it was always those moments that many Jikookers don’t like to look at or even talk about. The first thing that made me do a double take on Jikook was fetus Jikook. You see, I wasn’t always a shipper and I was one of those people who actually thought it was silly as hell that people could even believe that any of the members could be in a romantic relationship especially because of things like skinship which is the most common thing among korean men but one day I watched a long compilation on Youtube of fetus Jikook and my mind began to change. You see, when I watched that video and read comments many people were either mad at Jk for being an asshole to Jimin while others felt sorry for Jimin and some were mad that Jimin had to put up with all of that from Jungkook but one look at it and I knew that wasn’t normal at all especially because when I joined the fandom at the beginning of 2017, I spent alot of time reading their interviews and catching up on old content (somehow I didn’t really notice the fetus Jikook bickering or push and pull alot) but one opinion I remember having was that Jk kinda liked being around Jimin and hovering. So when I watched that compilation showing Jk basically being an ass to Jimin, that was the first time I thought “maybe shippers are unto something” because what I was seeing Jk do in the compilation was very conflicting with everything I had learned about Jikook and the opinion I had about them as a duo. I didn’t necessarily think they were the closest but I didn’t think Jk had any ill feelings towards Jimin.
You see anon, one thing I understood while being in this fandom is that, how people interpret or perceive other’s actions and words depends more on them than the people whose actions they are interpreting. Without certain experiences, it is almost impossible for one to understand certain things. Your culture, environment, people around, personal experiences and basically what you are used to, shapes the way you see the world and that is why one person could see a 9 while another person sees a 6. Some people have grown up believing that couples are always soft with each other or with couples it is always smiles and rainbows and roses, you know watching a lot of romance movies or fantasy will do that to you or even only experiencing those first stages of normal romantic relationships will trick you into believing such things. Some people don’t understand context and nuances at all and so they could never understand Jikook even if they wanted to.
It never made any sense to me that we saw Jungkook pushing Jimin away or shoving him in walls or ranking him last in looks yet this same person would choose to put blankets outside to sleep with Jimin at night, or this same person’s would go to cuddle Jimin in his sleep or this same person would be seen hovering around Jimin alottt and wanting to touch him or feel him up (fetus Jk was not subtle). Jungkook already knew that he got his comfort mostly from Jimin. He already understood that the reason he teased Jimin alot was because he really liked him and I think Jungkook’s occasional “bitchy” behaviour towards Jimin was him panicking and not knowing how to deal with Jimin who was obnoxiously loud about how he felt for Jungkook. Jungkook never hated being around Jimin or being touched by Jimin like many people would like to believe because if he did, he would never choose to go spend his nights with Jimin. If he did, he would never go to hug Jimin in his sleep or pile clothes on his bed to go sleep in Jimin’s bed. He clearly loved being around Jimin so how else could anyone explain his behaviour infront of the cameras?
Watching Bangtan, anyone would quickly understand that these boys don’t understand the concept of personal space when it comes to each other. I saw this video on X the other day and it made me laugh…
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This is not even the most accurate example I can use but you see how glued they are to each other? Like no care in world. They shower together, sleep together, eat after each other, that is normal for them so explain to me why on earth Jimin and Jungkook would have to put a pillow inbetween them when they sit even though we know for a fact that being glued is literally like second nature to the members?
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This is how Jimin and Jungkook give themselves away everytime because you can literally see that sometimes they get overly cautious in a bid to not give too much away but they don’t realize that by doing this, they are actually giving too much away because we know that the members usually don’t have any issues sitting even untop of each other. It’s just like I had once said that when you have nothing to hide, you feel as free as a bird but when you do, you start doing even unnecessary things not to come off suspicious. Why would they need a pillow inbetween them to just sit on a damn couch? If these two are just friends or bros why on earth do they need a pillow? If it was normal to see the members respecting each other’s personal space then we could just see this too as normal but we know that these same people seated right here are the same ones who have had their mouths on various erogenous parts of each other’s bodies so why?
Like you said, if jikook acted normal then I wouldn’t have ever suspected or thought that they are more than friends but the truth is that they don’t act normal at all and this is something everyone can agree on, regardless of whether they see things in a negative or positive way, everyone can agree that Jikook don’t act normal at all and it’s been like this since they were younger.
I have mentioned before that I could never see what taekookers see in Taekook because there is just way too much comfort in their interaction for them to be closeted idols in a romantic relationship. You never see any panic, you never see them acting as if they have something to hide. I have seen some taekookers say that they know that Jikook are not together because their skinship is usually very short or abrupt while taekook’s take longer and I was like ofcourse theirs would take longer because those two have nothing to hide the same way Jk’s skinship with any other member who isn’t Jimin takes longer and they seem more comfortable doing it because they are not worried about how they would come off because those actions are completely innocent. With Jikook, there is a panic and when they start going on at, it doesn’t take long for them to snap out of it and then you see them immediately stopping which sometime makes their interactions come off as awkward.
Imagine yourself in a secret romantic relationship where you are almost always infront of dozens of cameras and staff, who would feel 100% at ease in situations like this? That is why Jikook’s interactions sometimes come off clunky or awkward because of this while you never really sense this with any of the other members interactions. I can sit through any other duo’s interactions without feeling second hand embarrassment, shy or slightly awkward but with Jikook, I go through about 20 different emotions while watching them and that is how I know they are….different. So because not everyone understands the contexts or nuances, they would immediately see this as something bad while someone who understands the context and nuances in this situation expects to see this kinds of interactions. Many people unfortunately are not very smart because if they were, they would really ask themselves why Jk seems to hate Jimin’s touches so much (according to them) or hates being around Jimin so much (according to them) yet this same Jk is the one who voluntarily goes to knock on Jimin’s door everynight at 1am. Why did this same Jk choose to sleep on the floors outside their rooms with Jimin instead of sleeping with Tae or some other member? Why did this same Jk choose to spend majority of his nights and downtime with this person? Why did this same Jk pile clothes on his bed to go sleep in Jimin’s bed? Why did Jk keep going to sleep in Jihope’s room everynight? What was he doing with Jimin at 4am on his birthday after they had already moved out of the dorm and were living in personal apartments? Which one of you knows anyone who would do this if they really didn’t like someone and literally loved being around them? Also, notice how each and everytime we “caught” Jikook in positions where they never expected cameras or weren’t aware of cameras they were always glued to each other and Jungkook especially had no issues being in Jimin’s personal space?
This is one of those cases where someone either gets it or they don’t because it is kinda hard to explain and the truth is, to really understand these kinds of things, you probably need to have experienced something like this or atleast know someone very close who has.
Jikook as a romantic pair was never meant to make sense to alot of people because not very many people have critical thinking skills, not very people know how to piece tiny details together to really understand a situation. So often, people form opinions after watching one single piece of content without caring to look at the history of things. I saw a taekooker say that Jk hated Jimin’s music style because Jk said their show will fail if Jimin sang the OST he joked about singing and you could clearly tell this person is one of those who literally don’t care about context or history because everyone and their mama knows how much Jk enjoys and has always enjoyed Jimin as an artist and a performer and he has made it clear on several occasions just how much he loves the music Jimin makes.
Like I said, Jikook is not meant to be understood by everyone. If everyone understood them then that would mean they weren’t doing something right.
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mhahaikyuus · 1 year ago
Text
Manipulative
wc:; 5.3k
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tags;: emotional reader, bakugo being the opposite, reader has mental health issues, established relationship, pro hero bakugo, fighting, angst to fluff, reader and izuku are friends, mentions of death, mentions of bad childhood
a/n: I said I was gonna post like two weeks ago but this draft kept getting longer and longer. it's like half edited but I just need to post something atp. thanks for your patience. I love you all
reblogs and likes appreciated
“Why do you always do this it’s so manipulative.”
You two were in the middle of an argument with your boyfriend. At first it was expressing how each other felt but no one was understanding making it more frustrating. Leading up to you both raising your voices. You hated fighting with him and you felt an upcoming headache.
His loud booming voice was hurting your ears and making you shrink back. Feeling your eyes water you started crying.
All you wanted was to talk about it and not let it get this far. You were sniffling and tears were right down your face.
Mid sentence he interrupted himself, “Here you go again with the tears. Every time we fight here comes the waterworks. Always so sensitive. Why do you always have to be so manipulative.”
The words were dying out of your throat.
What?
He thought you were manipulative because you were emotional. Out of the two of you, you were the most expressive. You were a crybaby and he always teased you.
Books, movies, even a 2 minute youtube video could have you bawling as he laughed at you holding you as you cried. You loved the Notebook it was your favorite movie and you watched it constantly always crying so hard it was as if a loved one died. A fluffy animal on your phone could have you wiping your running mascara off. Someone was mean to you in the store and your eyes would water. It was just who you are as a person since you were a baby. Your own family laughed at you as you waved them off with bloodshot eyes. Katsuki would snicker at your tears and roughly wipe your tears with his thumb. Kiss the top of your head and rubbed it to calm you down. You never thought he had a problem with it. Once at a party a guy in passing called you an ugly bitch and Katsuki had snatched him up as soon as he saw your wobbly lips forcing him to apologize for making you cry.
But he thought you were manipulative for crying?
“You think i’m manipulative?” You said in a small voice.
“Yes! Look at you right now sobbing when we’re in the middle of the fight to make me feel bad.” He barked at you red eyes narrowing.
“I didn’t mean it to be…I just cry easy.” You said unable to look him in the eye, your vision blurred with tears blinking sadly at the floor.
“I get it,” He sighed,” that doesn’t mean you’re not manipulative.”
He was right, “I…i’m sorry i’ll stop.” You said not even remembering what the fight was about.
Katsuki saw how defeated you were looking and all the anger in his chest disappeared. He wanted a fight not for you to be his punching bag.
Both of you stopped the fight and tried to move on so neither one of you went to bed angry. The next couple of days you reminded yourself to keep your emotions in check. You had a terrible day at work, a supervisor yelling at you for a co-worker's mistake and a customer screamed at you not even 20 minutes later over the same mistake. You were crying over the stove, cooking dinner for the both of you. Katsuki came home with a groan and the door shut signaling he was back from work. You quickly wiped your face hearing him enter.
“Baby are you in the kitchen?” He called out
Clearing your throat you answered, “Yea i’m here.”
He wrapped his arms around your waist placing his face in your neck with a kiss.
“What’s wrong?” He said in a gruff voice tired from when work. He could tell from your back something was wrong.
You wiped your face again, “Nothing I was just chopping onions.”
He looked down at the meal and saw no onions but didn’t say anything. “Okay, thanks for cooking.” He said, “I’m getting undressed.” Pressing two hard kisses on your cheek before walking off.
You finished dinner and tried to splash some water on your face to stop the puffiness.
You came back to the table emotions in check and face straight with him across from you. Playing with the food you could feel his eyes on you but you ignored him still feeling how watery your eyes are.
“How was your day?” He said moving seats from across to next to you. Pulling your legs over his with a cheek kiss.
“It was fine how was yours,” you said picking at your food trying to not think about your day. Offering him a small smile.
Fortunately Bakugo was in a talkative mood talking about one of his rough villians today. You nodded along happy that he was the one talking.
He stopped talking to study your face and he frowned, “Are you sure you’re okay? You have this look on your face. You look sad.” He stroked your face with his large finger trying to warm you up. You froze at his reading of you when you promised yourself you would be better, you straightened your back out pulling from him. “No nothings wrong im glad you came back safe.”
He studied your face but let it go. You cleaned up the kitchen as your boyfriend stretched and walked out the kitchen.
Bakugo flopped on the couch arms open for you to crawl into.
“Do you want to watch the notebook it’s been a while since you’ve seen it I know it’s your favorite.” He said trying to cheer you up. You did cry but you always had a small smile on your face for the rest of the night.
"Why are you smiling, weren't you just bawling," Katsuki asked looking down at you with his red eyes as you snuggled into his chest now wet with your tears.
"I dont know...it's sad that she forgets. But love is so beautiful and they have it. He never gave up on her and loved her no matter what. They got to build a life together and grow old and die together." You mumbled looking up at him your chin gently resting on his chest as he rubbed your back.
"I love you." Katsuki said squeezing you extra tight and rolling on top of you making you groan.
"Youre so heavy."
"Shut up."
Your lips pressed together as you tiredly stared at the screen. It was your favorite but it also made you bawl and Katsuki had to hold you as you calmed down.
“No I’ll watch by myself later I know you don’t like it.” You said moving the cursor to a different genre, more his speed.
There was definitely something wrong, Katsuki thought.
You never said no to The Notebook and you would always cry to him about how he better spend his days with you when you’re both old even if one of can't remember. You switched to an Allmight movie he loves and laid back down cuddling him. As emotional as you were you were also very observant. Knowing what ways to distract your boyfriend and fake a poker face. It had just been a while and you were easing back into it.
Bakugo with his arms smothering you with his large biceps telling you facts about Allmight that made you smile as the movie rolled.
“See right there, in the corner that’s the same design i had in my room for my action figure.”
“I had this one poster when I was a kid that was made from this scene.”
You nodded along humming to let him know you were still listening.
No one else got to see him be so dorky about his hero except you and it warmed your heart. Eventually you dragged him to bed and held him close as you both fell asleep. The next couple weeks it was unnatural to you. Burying your emotions down in an exhausting time. It was hard but you would do anything for your relationship. Bakugo had taken notice at you not expressing emotions with him and it freaked him out but he was unable to say how. You could cry up to 3 times a day just crying or complaining to him going to him for comfort. Now you would just stare off into space in your own world around him. The only time he did hear you cry was on accident. He had woke up to clamor out of bed to go pee and hop back into bed. As Bakugo returned he noticed you weren’t there at 3am. Before he thought to panic he walked out to the living room to see your guest bathroom light on. The door was closed but he could hear you crying your eyes out.
He knocked on the door, fully awake to your noises now and ready to cuddle you until you felt better.
“Baby what’s going on?” He said in a gruff voice with sleep still mixed in.
You froze from the bathroom floor at your boyfriends voice.
You quickly wiped your tears and swung open the door, “A nightmare I didn’t want to wake you.” You said with the saddest eyes too tired to try and put on a neutral face.
Work was getting to you, badly. And you had no one to talk to anymore. So you ended up sneaking out of bed to cry on the other side of the house to not wake him.
He rubbed your arms up and down pushing you into him. “Cmere baby.” He said kissing your head.
You leaned into him for a minute before remembering.
“I’m..okay now.” You said weakly, moving away from him and walking to the bedroom.
Katsuki frowned and grabbed your hand to pull you to turn.
“Yes?” You asked
“What’s wrong?” He said trying to get you to talk to him.
“…I’m fine I’m just dramatic.” You said, “A nightmare let’s go to bed.”
He sighed not believing you but following you back to bed extremely tired from patrol.
He trapped you in his arms so you wouldn’t escape him again and both of you drifted off to sleep. Katsuki became buried in work for the next couple days and you missed your boyfriend. It was like you were falling into a deeper and deeper hole as time went on with no escape. Even if you couldn’t express your emotions around him anymore didn’t mean you didn’t love him any less. You decided to stop by the agency after a really hard shift just to see his face hoping it would make you feel better. Walking through the lobby to his receptionist only to be told he was pulled away for an emergency.
Feeling your eyes burn you blinked back tears of frustration.
Katsuki’s receptionist was scrolling on her computer trying to figure out when he would be back for you and you felt a hand tap your shoulder. You turned and Izuku was smiling down at you. One of your good friends since Katsuki introduced the both of you.
“Hey y/n how are you?” He said with a warm smile.
“Izu! I missed you,” You said avoiding his question and giving him a hug.
He happily accepted hugging you back. “I know you’re here for Kacchan but he’s on an emergency right now, but you can always come back to my office and wait for him. We can catch up?” He said. He noticed how fidgety you were at the receptionist’s desk knowing something was wrong.
“Thanks that’s really sweet of you.” You said taking his offer and walking with him to his office.
Izuku and you talked about his girlfriend he had just started to date and how it was going as you sat next to him on the couch he crashed on during late nights.
“It’s going really good I can’t believe she said yes to me, still.” He admitted rubbing the back of his neck with a blush dusting his cheeks at the thought of his girlfriend.
You couldn’t help but smile at how cute it was, Izuku being so bashful about the girl he was starting to fall for.
“Izuku she said yes because you’re a great guy and from what I’m hearing you’re a good boyfriend so stop thinking like that. You two like each other and that’s all that matters.” You reassured your friend already knowing all those doubts were swirling in his mind.
He let out a sigh of relief, “You always know what to say to make me feel better.”
“What are friends for,” You shrugged
Izuku studied for a moment before speaking, “What’s wrong y/n.”
Eyebrows furrowing you were confused, “What do you mean?”
“I saw you at the desk, and I know you better than most. There’s something wrong, and if you want to discuss it with Kacchan i’ll respect that. But know that i’m also here for you.” He said gently putting a hand on your shoulder.
You pressed your lips together trying to stop your chin from wobbling but the tears started to fall against your will.
Damn it
You were doing so well
Stop crying it’s stupid
“It’s that obvious huh,” You said with a cracking voice.
Izuku brought his hand from your shoulder to around both pulling you into his chest as you cried, shaking.
You pulled away after a minute or two wiping your face. “I’m sorry, I’ve been doing so good I thought I had it under control but it’s just…so hard.” Mumbling but Izuku caught every word.
“What’s wrong what are you talking about.” Izuku said gently
“I…if I tell you can you not tell him please?”
Izuku nodded, “It’ll be just us I promise.”
You rubbed your face in your hands letting tears run before taking one solid breath.
“We got in a fight a couple weeks ago. And I was crying while we were…yelling. Kats said I was manipulative with my emotions and crying. I said I would work on it and I was sorry I didn’t know my crying and emotions had that effect on him, and it’s been…s-so hard. Everything in my life is terrible right now, my job, my family and I can’t even talk to him anymore. It’s been so difficult keeping my emotions in check around him. I can’t talk to him or be expressive; be myself around him but I know it’s the only way the relationship will work. I never, ever wanted him to feel like I was manipulating him. I just feel so guilty about it.” Tears stream down your face, “I’ll get over it soon though, it’s a hard transition.”
Izuku watching your body look so hopeless and small as you cried he felt terrible.
Izuku had seen you and Katsuki together and understood the dynamic. Katsuki was known for having a tough exterior and any emotion other than anger was difficult for him. You on the other hand were very emotional. Izuku thought you two were a good match balancing each other, but as of recently, that wasn’t the case.
“I’m…i’m so sorry y/n. But you know he loves you, maybe if you talk to him about how you’re feeling.” He suggested.
You shook your head, “He has enough problems without that. It doesn’t matter how I feel. And he already told me how he feels about the situation, there would be no point…I just need to adjust no matter how hard it is.” You felt your phone buzz underneath you and it was your boyfriend letting you know he was back in the office from an emergency.
His receptionist obviously calling him that you were here when you had left her desk.
You wiped your face again, “He’s back I gotta go.”
Izuku nodded unsure of what to say and walked you out of his office.
You hugged him and he hugged right back feeling worried
“I’m sorry I’m talking about my problems. You’re a good friend.” You pulled away and Izuku wiped a tear falling down your cheek. “Anytime okay? Know that i’m here for you, even when you want to cry your eyes out on my couch.” He lightly joked
A tiny laugh escape you, “Bring your girlfriend over soon for dinner! I would love to meet the girl you’re falling for.” You said and he nodded.
Watching you walk away Izuku could feel nothing but worry and sadness for you. Your entire aura was sad and tired.
Katsuki was stretching in the locker room of the agency with Kirishima walking in the door surprised to see him here.
“What are you doing here man? I thought you’d be with y/n.”
Katsuki frowned at his words, “What do you mean?”
“I just saw her crying with Izuku in front of his office. Thought she would go over to you?” Kirishima innocently said confused.
Katsuki immediately got up and left to find you. He texted he was back but he thought you would be in his office.
Why were you crying?
Why were you with Izuku?
Not even knocking on the door he swung open Izuku’s door to find you scaring his green-haired friend.
“Where is she?” He said with a scowl and angry red eyes.
Izuku recovering from his door almost ripped off the hinges blinked at him, “She went to go find you after you texted her”
“She was crying? Why?” He said seething at the thought of you upset
“Um…I don’t know.” Izuku said keeping his word to not tell Katsuki.
“Useless fuck.” Katsuki grumbled slamming the door behind him to go find you
He called you and you picked up on the second ring, “Where are you?”
“I’m in your office stealing your snacks.” You said causally on the phone and it confused him.
Weren’t you crying?
" Okay, I’ll be there soon.”
He walked into his office and you were sprawled out on a chair on your phone.
In the time you took to go to the office, you forced yourself to calm down, wiped your running makeup, and became ready to see your boyfriend
He leaned down kissing your head lifting you from the seat. To have you sit on his lap as he held you.
“How was the emergency?” You said.
“Dumbass villians but I took them down.” He said.
“You’re not hurt are you?”
“No im not babydoll.” He said gruffly. Katsuki trying to bring up you crying but not knowing how.
Why were you crying to Izuku but fine with him?
“Good, I missed you. Thanks for the hug.” You said giving him a kiss ready to move off his lap but he moved his big arm around you keeping you in place.
“What’s wrong?” He said studying your face
“What do you mean?” You said confused
“You were crying earlier Kirishima saw you.” He said his red eyes going back and forth with your own.
“Oh…it was stupid it doesn’t matter.”
“But i want to know,” He insisted
You felt your heart squeeze, you couldn’t tell him you were sobbing to Izuku because of him and how unhappy you were. “A rude client today at work,” You said with a sad smile.
Katsuki could tell you were lying but didn’t say anything.
“Okay I gotta go to the store and pick up for dinner. Do you want anything?” You wanted to leave.
He sighed, “No and it’s my turn for dinner remember.”
You moved to get up again and he trapped you in his arms.
He began kissing up your neck and face, “I love you, you know that? You can talk to me.” He said seriously trying to pry whatever was bothering you out of your tight grasp, to let him in.
You brought both your hands up to his pale face and kissed him, “I love you more.”
You had to, to be destroying little pieces of yourself for him.
After dinner, you climbed into bed with him next to you. He was reading a book with his reading glasses when your phone was buzzing from an incoming phone call. You picked up the call to your sister crying her eyes out making you alert.
“What’s wrong?” You asked worried trying to comfort her
“Luna is dead, she died in her sleep but she’s dead.” Your sister sobbed and you felt your heart drop.
The childhood pet you’ve had since you were 5 was dead.
She was your favorite thing in the world.
“What…” You whispered feeling the pit in your stomach widen.
“I know she’s old but I thought we had more time.” Your sister cried.
Feeling stuck, like all the energy in your body was gone you hung up the phone.
Bakugo at this point heard screaming on the phone and put down his book to see you staring off into space with a drained expression on your face.
“Y/n.” He said softly touching your arm.
Humming a small noise to let him know you acknowledged him.
“Y/n what’s going on baby?” He said rubbing your back.
You forced back the tears in your eyes, “My childhood dog died.” You said in the most monotone voice.
“What? Jesus i’m sorry.” He said sitting up to try and hold you. But you were stiff and leaning away from him, “I have to use the bathroom.”
You locked yourself in the bathroom and quietly cried. After 20 minutes Bakugo got up and gently knocked on the door.
“Baby come on. Please come out. I can hold you like you love.” Bakugo said in an almost begging tone.
It had been little things he had observed of you being less emotional but he never thought it was this bad. You couldn’t even cry in front of him or let him hold you? Even when it was this bad? You were shaking on the floor in a ball crying,
“I’m fine please…just go away.”
You wanted, no needed, to just cry. Not feeling guilty about how that affected him. Bakugo reluctantly left and you slept on the floor of the bathroom that night only wanting to be with your baby who you would never see again. Bakugo barely slept just watching the bathroom door and realizing how badly he had fucked up. Around 7am when his alarm went off you woke up to crusted eyes on the floor.
You finally crawled your way out of the bathroom to your boyfriend walking in with a coffee in his hand. Not even having the energy to stand.
Your order from Starbucks in his hand. His hand engulfing the large cup.
“Y/n- oh you’re out of the bathroom.” He placed the cup on your nightstand and pulled you to your feet. He gently put his hand on the back of your head to hug you. Leaning into him before pulling away. You fell back into bed throwing a cover over your head.
“I got you your drink.” He said slowly rubbing your back and you let out a small groan.
He hated Starbucks but went to for you to make you feel better. Loathed it as he had told you many times complaining whenever you made him go. Hated the lines, your fancy drink order, and the number of people but he went for you.
“I…i have to go to work but i’m coming to check on you at lunch okay? Breakfast is on the counter and I already called your work that you wouldn’t be coming in.” He said.
One thing about Katsuki is he was great at acts of service. He pulled back the blanket to see your face. Broken expression and a blank sad stare in your eyes focused on the wall. Katsuki stroked your hair and gave you a kiss. “I love you okay? Try to get out of bed today for me.”
You shut your eyes at his words, just waiting for him to leave.
He sighed and left the apartment.
You slept most of the day not wanting to be up. Wanting to wither away into nothingness, never to be bothered again. Letting sadness that at most times was a small wave at your feet turned into a deep dark hole where you struggled to not drown.
Katsuki came in to work in a sour mood that everyone could tell to steer far from him. That is except his best friend who was so used to his moods. Izuku saw that Katsuki wasn’t angry even if that what appeared. He was frustrated and he looked worried. Izuku knew he only sported this look when it came to you.The only person Katsuki cared about more than anything.
As the briefing for the next big mission came to a close Izuku caught up to the foul mouthed blond.
“Hey Kacchan.” He said expecting a frown at his greeting
Katsuki was in his head so busy thinking about you, he didn’t even manage to turn down his lips at Izuku.
Only focusing on what he could do to help you.
He had noticed the change in your behavior in the recent weeks and it concerned him. Now dealing with death he was worried for you. You weren’t in the best place mentally and seeing you so drained this morning not even able to walk to bed was scaring him.
“What is it.” He sniped at Izuku as they walked down the glass hallway.
“How are you? How’s y/n. I talked to her a couple days ago and just wanted to check in.” Izuku said trying to set up an open discussion for Katsuki to help him talk about his problems. To help you.
Katsuki scowled at Izuku’s mention of you remembering that you cried to him.
Him
Izuku
But you locked yourself in the bathroom these days and pulled away from his hugs when he tried to comfort you. He walked into his office knowing Izuku was following him and sat at his desk, sucking his teeth. Izuku sat down across from him waiting.
“She’s shutting down on me. She won’t talk to me or let me comfort her. I don’t know what I did.” Bakugo admitted
“What happened?” Izuku asked
“I don’t know you tell me. She was crying to you last week. What the hell was that.” Katsuki almost barked at Izuku
“She felt bad and needed to cry. So I let her. She just needed someone to be there for her. I didn’t do anything.” Izuku said carefully not wanting to give away what you had begged him to not say.
“When did she start to pull away?” Izuku said trying to make Katsuki see the connection of his words and your actions.
Katsuki pressed his thumb and finger in between his eyebrows trying to focus on when the change started.
“I get it,” He sighed,” that doesn’t mean you’re not manipulative.”
“I…i’m sorry i’ll stop.” You said
Bakugo froze at the memory. Oh god what had he done.
“We had a fight. And I told her… I told her she was manipulative for crying. And she said she would stop” He said feeling his heart drop into his stomach.
Winning that one fight had caused this much damage? Bakugo felt his stomach twisting.
Izuku sighed, “She doesn’t feel comfortable with you anymore.”
Bakugo let out a shaky breath at his words. “Get the fuck out.” He said bitterly and Izuku got up and left without a word.
Bakugo picked up the phone filling his eyes sting.
Come on baby pick up
Please
Reaching your voicemail, Bakugo looked up at the ceiling shaking his head.
You stopped. Stop crying. Stop talking to him.
Stop coming to him.
Bakugo wanted nothing but to be there for you, protect, love and cherish you.
And he had pushed you away. He knew how sensitive you were and how everyone diminished your feelings constantly since you were a child. And he called you manipulative making you recoil.
He felt sick at the thought of you needing him and he wasn’t there for you.
Leaving you.
It was his fault.
He looked at the clock and saw it was lunchtime. Bakugo rushing to the apartment as he had promised earlier. Seeing the untouched breakfast sitting on the counter. You were sleeping, taking a nap, exhausted from crying so hard.
Gently shaking you awake he saw you open your puffy bloodshot eyes.
“Y/n. Baby.” He said softly.
You blinked at him tired. Your boyfriend was home.
“Can you sit up for me.” Katsuki asked
You shook your head pounding from a headache. You were dehydrated from crying.
Katsuki sighed.
He walked out of your eyeline and you closed your eyes. Katsuki coming only to check on you. He was leaving.
When you felt a weight on the other side of the mattress and Katsuki wrapping his arms around you engulfing your body with his.
You didn’t move just taking shaky breaths.
Katuski feeling how you trembled in his hold.
“You don’t have to do this. I’m fine.” You said in a shaky voice staring at the wall. Squeezing your eyes shut hoping he would just go away.
You felt guilt swimming in your stomach at him holding you.
You promised yourself you would work on your emotions.
“I know.” He said behind you but not moving snuggling closer to you holding you in his arms.
You began to hyperventilate at his touch.
“Please. Stop. We agreed…I would work on this.” You said beginning to breakdown unable to stop. Tears streaming and shaky breaths racking your body as your boyfriend held you ignoring your words.
He knew you better than anyone. These walls you were putting up were no match for him and how much he loved you.
Katsuki gently turned your body to face him and held the back of your head to his chest. You sobbed into his chest until you tired yourself out
You woke up to Katsuki stroking your head holding you in bed as the tv played on a low volume.
Stiffening in his hold you pulled yourself away from him.
“I..I’m sorry it won’t happen again," You said realizing what you had done, "I meant what I said. I’m working on it.”
He looked at you, confusion flashing over his features before sadness.
“Baby…you don’t have to. I don’t mind-. You can come to me you know that right.” Bakugo said struggling to find the words at your fragile state.
You shook your head feeling tears coming but forcing them down. “No…no, I can’t. I don’t want to manipulate you even if I don’t mean to.”
“You’re not.” He said heartbroken at your shaking form. Seeing you punish yourself with your thoughts of coming to him was hurting him. He slowly tried to reach out his hand and you almost flinched.
“I am and I…I can’t lose you. If that means I can’t come to you anymore I’ll do it. I never wanted to hurt you and I have. And I keep making mistakes but I can’t do that with you, with us. I can’t lose you too. I slipped up. I promise I’ll do better.” You said holding yourself from him
Bakugo watching you destroy yourself because of him. In shock at your words.
He grabbed you before you could protest hugging you into him.
And words he rarely said left his lips.
“I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.”
“What did I do?” He whispered into your scalp as you shook and hyperventilated.
“I'm not leaving you, and I was mad when I said it. I love you I’m not going to leave you if you act emotional. You can cry to me forever if you want. I love you no matter what and I need you to come to me when you feel bad.” He said, feeling like the worst partner in the world.
“You don’t think I’m manipulative, you’re not going to leave.” You said with wobbly lips and the saddest eyes he had ever seen.
As if he could ever leave you.
“No baby, I'm not leaving. I can’t. I need you.”
That broke the damn and you cried even harder as he held you closer rubbing your back.
“I missed you.” You said in between shaky breaths into his chest.
“I'm sorry baby. I'm here now.”
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yourimagines · 1 year ago
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Favourite person
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* English is not my first language I apologise
* Triggers; fluff
- Summary; you are Harry’s favourite person
Y/N POV
I was watching a movie when my phone blew up from messages. “What the hell.” I paused the movie and picked up my phone. People were tagging me in a post, sending me private messages and friends of mine were texting me. I opened one of the text messages
Bestie❤️: oh my god, you have to see the new sidemen video
Bestie❤️: just watch the video at 13:43
I opened YouTube and went to the newest video. I saw a lot of comments about harry.
‘Aww he so cute.’
‘I wish i had a bf like that.’
‘Nahh who make me cry.’
I started the video at 13:40.
‘But who’s your favourite person then?’ Tobi asked harry ‘Uhh my favourite person? It has to be Y/N.’ Harry smiled ‘Really?!’ Ethan asked, Harry nods. ‘Yeah I never get tired of her but I do get tired from you guys.’ They all laughed. ‘Okay, so your girlfriend is your favourite person?’ JJ asked him ‘Yes, why are you so surprised, I thought it’s a normal answer.’ Harry threw his arms up. ‘It is Harry, they just don’t know it yet.’ Josh said, causing them to talk all at once. ‘I just love her mate.’ Harry says while picking up a new question card.
I sat alone in my room, smiling brightly at my screen. “I’m his favourite person.” I giggled and tried to call him but he didn’t answer. ‘He’s probably filming a new video.’ I lay down again and started the movie.
———
I heard someone open the front door. “Hello!” Harry yelled through the apartment. I stood up and ran to the living room. He stood there with some groceries. “Hey, I’ve missed you.” I jumped at him, hugging him close. “I missed you to.” He returned the hug. “How was your day?” He sighed. “Long, exhausting.” I nod as I picked up the bags. “But I brought you some stuff, your favourite food.” I gave him a quick kiss on his cheek. “Thank you Harry.” He smiles at waved me off. “Nahh don’t thank me.” I unloaded the bags. Harry took a seat on the sofa, pulling his shoes off. “Are you staying here tonight?” “Yes, if you want me too.” I looked at him. “Harry, I always want you.” He laughs. “Good, it would be very awkward if you didn’t want me.” I placed the last items in the fridge and walked over to him, crawling on top of him. My hands where resting on his chest, his hands where on my hips. “You are my favourite person Harry.” He blushes and throws his head back. “Oh no you already saw it.” I started to giggle. “You are so cute.” He slightly pushed me. “Stop, I’m not cute.” I leaned forward and gave him a kiss. “It was adorable.” He groans. “Everyone is talking about it today.” “Do you regret it?” He shakes his head immediately. “No, no I didn’t mean it like that, I would say it thousands times more, I mean it more like, people acting so weird about it, do I really neglect you in that. It’s like they don’t know I love you.” I cupped his face. “Who cares what the people on the internet says, I know you love me and you don’t neglect me Harry, you always show your love to me.” He smiles at me. “Good because I don’t want to lose my favourite person.” He placed a kiss on my hand. “Good I don’t want to lose my favourite person either.” He pulled me close to cuddle me. “So who told you?” “A lot of people Harry.” “Dammit.”
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huggybearluvr · 11 months ago
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If I Could Fly || J.D
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!! A Part of the 30 days of music series !!
Series Masterlist
Synopsis: After Jamie got drafted to the Flyers you were both missing the other more than ever. You would have left with him if it weren't for your classes. However, after a late night phone call with Jamie, you drop everything and go to him without a second thought.
The song links:
Apple music || Spotify || Youtube
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Jamie had been gone for nearly three weeks now. You couldn't help but feel lonely as you sat in the once shared apartment.
It was nearing 9 in California, so you knew calling Jamie was not an option. It was almost midnight on the east coast.
You sat on the couch watching one of your favorite movies to hopefully distract yourself.
About thirty minutes later a familiar ringtone buzzed from you phone. you were quick to pick it up answering the call.
"Jamie? everything okay?" you asked into the phone.
"Not really," He said trailing off.
"Baby, what's wrong?" You asked now sitting up.
"I just miss you so much, I can't sleep at all," He said softly.
"I know baby, I miss you too," You spoke truthfully, "I wish I could be there."
"I do too," He said.
"Its late baby, go to bed, you have a big game tomorrow against the red wings."
"Alright, I love you," Jamie said smiling into the phone.
"I love you too."
"I'm missing half of me when we're apart"
After the call ended you couldn't help but think about going to Jamie. At around 11 you decided you couldn't just sit here.
You practically sprinted to your room. Grabbing your laptop and emailing your academic advisor, letting them know you would be needing to transfer schools and would like to finish this semester online.
Once your emails were sent you booked a flight to Phili.
You packed up as much as you could in two suit cases and texted Trevor to come over.
As you sat in the living room bags packed you felt more relaxed then you ever have before.
You knew you would be coming back during the summer to finish your moving but for now these two suitcases would be more than enough.
You heard a knock at the door and quickly got up to answer it. As you pulled the door open you saw a half awake Trevor standing there.
"y/n it's midnight, what was so important I had to come over?" He said rubbing at his eyes.
"I need a ride to the airport, and here is the keys your gonna have to check in here once a week til im back to move everything," You spoke quickly.
"Wait what where are you even going?" Trevor said taking the key from you.
"Im moving to Phili."
Trevor couldn't help but smile. He was happy his best friend had someone like you in his life.
"Let's go then," Trevor spoke picking up one of your bags and following you out to his car.
-
You landed in Phili calling an uber to take you to Jamie's apartment. You texted his neighbor carter letting him know you would be at the stadium within the hour.
Carter, Jamies Goalie and Neighbor had agreed to leave a key to his place outside the door so you could leave your stuff there to make it to the game on time. He also agreed to get you a media pass so you would be able to surprise Jamie.
After you dropped your stuff off you headed straight to the Arena. You got in through the back and quickly made your way to your seat. You opted for a pretty bad seat but you didn't want Jamie to see you.
-
The Flyers had won the game against the wings and you were more than ready to run down and see your boyfriend.
You quickly made your way to the ice, walking to the locker rooms. You stood outside of the locker room.
Many teammates walked by giving you an odd look as they had no idea who you were.
Carter came out and sent a smile your way, as you handed him the key to his apartment," Thank you so much for helping me."
"I did this for the kid but, your welcome," He said with a laugh," I'll see you both later."
You stood a little longer, Jamie was the last one out.
He walked out of the locker room, with wet hair and you swear he's never looked so good. His eyes were stuck on his phone.
You picked up your phone calling him. He answered.
"Look up, idiot," You said before hanging up.
Jamies eyes met yours, you both felt butterflies as the world around you froze. You practically ran to Jamie engulfing him in a much needed hug.
"I can feel your heart inside of mine"
"Is this real? how are you here?" He said pulling away to look at you.
"I'm moving here," You smiled leaning up to kiss him.
"baby, you have school," He said, once he pulled away hesitantly.
"I'm transferring, I couldn't be away from you any more," You spoke softly," I already talked to my advisor, Trev's gonna keep an eye on my place til we can move the rest, and for now my suitcases are at Carters."
"I love you so much," Jamie said as he awed at not only your physical beauty but how perfect you were for him. He truly thought that he wouldn't see you for months but now here you are in his arms, and he is never letting you go again.
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llamaisllama777 · 2 months ago
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LAES,TSAMS,EAPS WEEKLY*/*DAILY REVIEW SHOW!!!!!
Okay, we had a lot of really good episodes today, so let's hurry up and talk about them!
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First up, FAMILY MOMENTS! I love this thumbnail so much, especially Moon's face.. I .. I just love it!
I love how we get to learn about everyone's movie preferences. It's interesting learning these little random tidbits about them. It's fun. Also Sun...
SPY KIDS 3 IS GREAT, AND I WILL NOT HEAR OTHERWISE!!! 😡
Also, Prince of Egypt is a really good movie. You all should go watch it. Even if you aren't religious, it's really good and has some awesome animation and music. Seriously, if you haven't watched, please do. I think it's on YouTube for free???
This episode was cute.... ONTO THE TRAUMA!
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Bout time, I was wondering when Nexus would try to kidnap Sun. Took longer than I expected... I wonder why? 🤔
This episode I think confirmed a theory I had...
New Moon/Nexus never cared.
I had this thought in the back of my head that Nexus never really cared about them. He never thought of them as family. He just saw them as people he was told to call family. They were NEVER his family. He never really cared. He just cared about Solar, but Solar never saw him as a brother. OOOFFFFF!
That hurts!
But I'm glad we know because DANG! The angst there!
Also, Sun is stronger than Nexus' chain ability (That ability where he forces people to the floor. I like to imagine purple chains form around the person when he uses that move)
Nexus was so close to kidnapping Sun....
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BUT MONTY CAME IN STINKIN' CLUTCH!!!!!!
Monty FINALLY got to use the shotgun! He nearly killed Nexus there! Thank you, Nebula, for the starshells! The Astrals are starting to grow on me.
(Okay... maybe a was a little rash on the whole "Down with the Astrals" "Viva la revolution" thing!) Sorry, Astrals. Still don't really trust Taurus or Leo tho.
Things are getting serious! October is in like two weeks! The creator is still out there! Rez and Cetus are out there! And Dark Sun still has a stinkin' dragon! This is gonna be an exciting October! I'm so excited!
Also, thank you, Davis and Reed, for this picture of Monty with a shotty.
And lastly...
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Okay, Eclipse looks like that one guy from the office that conspiracy theory guy. And Puppet just looks depressed.
Puppet really wants to catch the killer. It's really affecting her. It's the MCI incident all over again. And she clearly doesn't want anyone or herself to go through that again. Eclipse still won't watch movies with anyone. It's only a matter of time, though. The moment he says yes and joins them is the moment his redemption arc is complete for me!
So, Eclipse and Puppet have narrowed down the killer to 4 suspects. All employees of Fazbear.
1. Vincent
2. Some lady named Margo
3. A teenage intern who works in the daycare named Josh
4. And the repair man whose name I forget.
I don't think it's any of these guys. But I have a few theories on who the killer could be..
1. Michael Afton of this world. Eclipse did mention in one of the early episodes of the EAPS that the Michael of this world was/still is an employee of Fazbears.
2. Henry Emily. Just cause the angst that it would cause Puppet.
3. The Charlie of this world. Just cause again the angst it would cause Puppet being the killer of this world!
There is no way it's Wanda(the William of this world)
And I highly doubt it's Vincent or some rando employee.
It has to be someone important.
These episodes were amazing!
Davis, Reed, Kat, Valentine, you guys did amazing on these episodes again!
12/10!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Extra point cause WOW!
Also shout out to this commentor for having the funniest comment on there.
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Nebula, you are starting to become my favorite Astral!
Also, Patchnotes is a ship I really hope happens now!
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sweetprfct · 6 months ago
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Midnight Rain
Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader
Summary: The glitz and glamour of Hollywood isn't always what it seems. When Joe had started working with you in a movie, he had started wondering as to why you, the famous Hollywood starlet, has been acting out lately. Was there some dark secret behind all the angry spoiled façade? And why was he so fascinated about it?
Author's Note: Okay, I decided that this series will only have 5 parts but who knows, I might come back with a volume 2 since I really like this one.
Disclaimer: 18+
Wordcount: 3.3K
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part one - part two - part three - part four - part five
Did he go mad? Probably. 
Was he slowly going insane? Maybe. 
After a long day of doing press interviews, Joe had found himself in his hotel room late afternoon. He had been sitting at his small dining table, his eyes staring into the laptop screen and googling just about anything he could find about you. After your little panic attack this morning, Joe couldn’t help but be more interested in you. 
The real you. 
He wanted to know what was going on, and there must be a reason why you were acting like this. He couldn’t help but look back at the way your team ignored you this morning when you were clearly having a panic attack. Why would they just leave you like that? Why would they just not care? Sure, Joe understood they were all probably frustrated with you because of the attitude that you would give them, but it was a panic attack. 
If someone was that bad or cruel to him, Joe would still help them. He couldn’t let anyone just suffer like that. He knew how it felt like to be in that situation, and he never wanted anyone to feel that way even if they were rude to him. It was a medical situation. Something worse could have happened to you if he didn't help you. So now, here he was chronically googling you all afternoon and night trying to figure out what happened. Trying to figure out who you really were and what made you act like this. 
Unfortunately for him, he couldn’t find those answers through Google. The only articles he could find were a bunch of different websites with the same headline, which was how you went crazy for the last two years. Articles about how you disappeared for months, and no one was able to locate you at all. Articles about how bad your attitude was on set that crew members and Directors refused to work with you anymore. Joe couldn’t understand because he never saw you act that way on set. Maybe to your manager, and maybe the fact that you were always late but not once had he seen you treat a crew member badly. It was weird…
All of these articles were all negative. 
He couldn’t find one positive thing about you on the internet. If there was ever one, he was sure it was all covered by all these horrible articles that they kept writing about. 
Then, he had gone to Youtube to watch more interviews of you and found the older, happier ones. He couldn’t help but smile and laugh towards your jokes all the time. You seemed so bubbly and a very loud, outgoing woman in a good way. He enjoyed every interview of yours when you were still happier. You were always very interactive, and he kept thinking how your laugh was always so contagious. The joke might not always be that funny, but your laugh always made it funnier, and Joe loved every second of it. Now, all he saw was this woman who could barely get through a thirty minute interview without taking ten breaks. A woman who could barely laugh or smile. In fact, as he thought about it, Joe had never seen you smile or laugh at all. You were always so stiff and serious. When you laugh or smile, it was always fake. 
Forced. 
It was never real like the way you would before. Leaning back against his chair, Joe exhaled a sharp breath and ran his fingers down his face. He couldn’t stop questioning himself as to why he was doing this in the first place. You weren’t even his friend. Just like Alex said, you have your own team to deal with whatever you were going through but after today, it seemed like they didn’t care as much about you. Maybe that was why he was so interested. He wanted to help you, and he saw the real you earlier after your panic attack. Even if it was just for a second, he saw it. He knew you were still in there behind that façade. 
With the way Google hasn’t given him any answers at all, he knew asking you would be the only way, but how? You didn’t even talk to him. You could barely acknowledge him at all. His mind replayed what happened this morning again and the look in your eyes before you walked away. You seemed such an amazing woman, but he couldn’t seem to see all of it because you kept it hidden away.
But why? 
Feeling the frustration coming up in his emotions, he sighed and closed his laptop. He looked at the time and realized it was getting late, and he hadn't even eaten dinner yet. When did the time go by so fast? Stretching his arms out, Joe grabbed his coat and walked out of his hotel suite. After staring at the laptop screen for so long, he could feel his eyes sting, and his vision adjusting from the lights. He needed some fresh air after all of that, and he definitely needed some dinner. 
He didn’t even realize that he was hungry until he stepped out of the hotel building and walked down the streets of Paris. The night air was crisp, and he could see the stars sparkled above him as he gazed up at the sky and enjoyed the new environment he was in at the moment. Maybe clearing his mind and eating something could help him right now. He kept wondering all day if you were okay after you left the studio. He kept wondering if you really didn’t feel well because of your panic attack or because you just didn’t want to do any of the interviews. Either way, Joe kept thinking about you. 
As he continued down the street, he cursed the Universe for reading his mind too well because the moment he passed by one of the restaurants, he froze in his tracks when he saw you through the window. You were eating alone, and he could see the melancholy in your eyes. For a moment, he looked like a creep just standing there and watching you eat until you gazed up and saw him staring at you through the window. Joe saw your brows raised at him as he felt reluctant to do or react to anything. His feet were glued to the ground, and he told himself to do something before he could look even more creepier in front of you. 
Finally letting his feet lead him, he walked inside the restaurant and walked towards your table with a small shy smile tugging on his lips.
“Hi.” Joe murmured. 
You leaned back against your chair, your eyes studying him. 
“Joe.”
His name slipping from your lips sent an unfamiliar good feeling down his spine. He couldn’t explain it, but he loved the sound of his name from your lips. He still couldn’t believe that you knew his name all this time and still kept calling him John. 
What was up with that? 
“Are you stalking me?” You asked, snapping Joe out from his thoughts. 
His eyes widened, cheeks flushed as you watched him all of a sudden got all flustered in front of you. You couldn’t help but hold in your smile. He looked adorable all flustered like that. 
“What?” His voice was defensive. “No, no.”
“I know.” You said, your voice in a serious tone. “I’m kidding.”
“Oh.” Joe’s tensed shoulders dropped.
Your eyes studied him for a moment, thinking he looked captivating under the dim light of the restaurant. He was just awkwardly standing there, and you didn’t know if he wanted to talk or he just wanted to say hi. The awkward silence was killing you, and you hated it. 
“So, are you just going to stand there?” You asked, shifting your eyes at the empty chair across from you. 
“Oh. I—” Joe stuttered as he gazed down at the empty chair in front of him. 
Of course, you expected this. 
There was no way he would like to have dinner with you, especially after what you have been treating him. When were you ever nice to him? When did you ever acknowledge him? And you expected him to just sit here and join you? 
Pathetic and embarrassing. 
“I’m sorry,” A small chuckle escaped from you, shaking your head. “You must have other plans.”
Joe’s chocolate button eyes widened as he shook his head and pulled up the empty chair to sit on. 
“No,” He said. “No, I don’t.”
A rush of warm feeling spread through your body as he sat across from you. You didn’t expect him to actually stay but the fact that he decided to, it sort of made you feel elated on the inside. You watched as the server came by and handed him a menu, and it didn’t take a minute for him to pick what he wanted. He was really nice and a gentleman to the server, and you have never seen someone like that, especially in this industry. He seemed more genuine and real. 
“Are you okay?” Joe asked, snapping you out of your thoughts. 
You nodded your head, looking down at your food. “Yeah, thanks for earlier even if it was sort of… embarrassing.”
Joe chuckled softly, “It’s not embarrassing. I’ve been in that situation.” He pouted his lips, his lashes fluttering as he shook his head. “Not fun.”
You bit your lower lip, holding in your smile. What was it about him that you found so winsome? You couldn’t put your finger on it, but he was a very interesting person to talk to besides the fact that he was sweet and a gentleman. He seemed honest. You never noticed it before when you were working with him on set. Maybe because you were always too busy and stuck in your own head, but was he always like this? Did he treat other people like this too? 
Your thoughts started spiraling again as he continued to talk about how he also felt anxious in these kinds of events. His voice, however, was starting to sound distorted because of the fact that you couldn’t seem to put your finger towards the idea as to why he was being nice? No one was ever this nice to you, especially these last couple of years. 
So, why was he?
“I actually play with this ring.” He showed the ring that was in his middle finger. “Sometimes it helps me when I feel anxious on stage or in interviews. Maybe there’s something that could help you—”
“Why are you being nice to me?” You asked, cutting his sentence off.
Joe stared at you for a moment, a bit startled from the question you just asked him. He tilted his head and knitted his brows, his eyes blinking. 
“What do you mean?” He asked.
“Why… Why did you help me?” 
Joe smiled softly, his eyes glinting at you. “I think I would help anyone who’s having a panic attack.”
You nodded your head in understanding. Of course, he would. Did you really have the audacity to think that you were someone special? Eating your dinner, you didn’t utter another word. Your mind continued to spiral out, thinking of other reasons as to why he was sitting here in front of you right now. Why did he join you for dinner in the first place? You knitted your brows together, drinking your wine. 
“Is this some kind of PR that I don’t know about?” You asked, this time your voice sounded frustrated. “Is there something my team isn’t letting me know?”
Joe looked at you confused, wondering as to why you kept asking him these questions. 
“No, I just… I just wanted to help.” Joe replied.
You set your wine glass down on the table, scoffing. “You could tell me, you know? I don’t care if you sign a NDA or something. I won’t tell anyone. I just want to know what I’m getting into.”
“There’s no NDA or PR.” Joe explained. “You were having a panic attack. I wanted to help. That was all.”
For some reason, you couldn’t seem to believe his words. Although at the same time, you could tell he was telling the truth but who knows these days? Some people around you always acted like they care, but they would end up backstabbing you. So, how sure were you that Joe wasn’t doing the same thing? How sure were you that he was telling you the truth? You exhaled a sharp breath, grabbed your glass of wine and drank it again. 
Joe’s eyes studied your reaction, and he could tell that you felt sort of uncomfortable and frustrated. 
“Do people around you usually don’t help you with that?” Joe asked.
You shrugged, “Couldn’t blame them.”
You took another sip of your wine as Joe said, “Then, you surround yourself with some pretty shitty people.”
You couldn’t help but snort the wine that you were drinking, laughing softly. You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand as you laughed and shook your head. Joe grinned widely the moment he heard you laugh.
There it was.
He couldn’t believe that he was hearing this right now. You were actually laughing. Smiling with teeth and everything. Joe sat there and just watched you laugh. It was like the façade that you have built just shattered and the real you had unraveled without you realizing it. 
You were beautiful.
Stunning, actually. Joe couldn’t help but think. 
Your eyes sparkled as Joe laughed with you. Your eyes twinkled in happiness, and your laugh was infectious just like the way Joe remembered when watching your old interviews. He didn’t think his comment could make you unravel in front of him like this, but he was glad that he was able to. He was glad to see you like this. 
Your laughter slowly died down, shaking your head at his comment. “I guess you got a point.” 
You would never say it out loud, but you agreed with what Joe had just said. You did surround yourself with shitty people, and you couldn’t help but laugh at it because what the fuck was wrong with you? It was a shitty thing, but you couldn’t help but find humor in it. 
Maybe you were slowly losing your mind at this point. 
“Do they… Do they not care?” Joe asked after the both of you had calmed down. 
You shrugged your shoulders again, “I don’t know. They said they do, but it feels fake… Like the friends I thought I had.”
Joe remembered reading an article about that earlier. Something about how you had a close knit of friends for a while, and everyone always loved the friendship that you all had until it slowly shattered the last couple of years. Most of the girls in the group blamed you for the split up because you were apparently always having drama, and they didn’t want to deal with that anymore. 
Joe couldn’t help but wonder if that was true or just a rumor.
“Like I said, I couldn’t blame them.” You added, letting out a soft sigh.
Using your fork, you gently played with the food in front of you. Joe saw how you suddenly looked crestfallen in front of him when the subject came up. He could see the melancholy washing over you again, the sparkle in your eyes dimming again.
“I could be your friend.” Joe suggested, a small soft smile tugging on his lips. 
You gazed up at him, dumbfounded at the suggestion he gave to you. “Why?”
“Why not?” Joe shrugged. 
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” You argued, drinking your wine again.
“I wanna be your friend. A real friend. Not someone who takes advantage of you or someone who would leave you when things get rough.” 
“You have no idea what you’re getting into, you know that?” You scoffed, shaking your head.
Why was he doing this? Why was he wasting his time on you? 
You didn’t get it.
Everyone was done with you. Everyone didn’t want to make any more effort with you, so why was he wasting his energy on someone like you? Joe would just end up being disappointed.
“Well, that’s what friends are for, right? Be there for you through rough times and guide you and accept you.” Joe pressed the subject even more.
Your lips parted in disbelief, while your heart was beating a thousand miles per second the moment you heard those words escaped from Joe’s lips. 
Maybe you were wrong.
Maybe he really was genuine. Maybe he really just wanted to be your friend, and you were just having trust issues because of the experience you had before. You couldn’t trust him fully yet but there was no harm in giving him a chance, right? 
“Thank you.” You murmured, your voice was almost a whisper. 
A small genuine smile tugged on your lips and for a moment, Joe saw the real you again. The smile was tiny, but he could tell that this time, it was real and sincere. He saw it in your eyes, and he could feel the energy that was radiating out of you. 
Walking back to the hotel later that night, Joe had lost count on how many times you had smiled at his little jokes. He had lost count on how many times you laughed softly at them and shook your head at it. The rush of that good warm feeling in his stomach had washed over his body every time he listened to you laugh. Joe wondered if you ever had a good laugh in a long time. If not, he was glad that he was able to make you. 
“Well, thanks for tonight.” You said the moment you both entered the hotel lobby. 
Joe nodded his head, “Hey.”
His fingers softly grazing over your arm, reluctant to touch you. Your eyes shifted towards his fingers, and you couldn’t help but smile.
“It’s okay.” You murmured. “Forget what I said last night.”
Joe smiled, taking your hand in his. “I meant what I said earlier.”
You hitched a breath, squeezing his hand softly and another small smile tugged on your lips.
“Thank you.” You slipped your hand away from his. “Goodnight, Joe.”
“Goodnight.” 
Entering your room later that night, you could still feel your heart beating hard in your chest. You leaned against the door as soon as you entered your suite. The words that Joe told you at dinner kept repeating in your head, and you couldn’t help but smile. You exhaled a sharp breath and headed to freshen yourself up and get ready for bed. 
This morning didn’t really start off well but at least, you had a good time at dinner with Joe. For the first time, you felt something inside of you again. For the first time, you had a conversation with someone that seemed sincere. Sliding yourself under your covers that night, you grabbed your phone on the bedside table and scrolled through social media. 
The moment you opened the app, you saw your name trending. Your heart raced as soon as you clicked on it and saw an article that was posted about you. A headline about you sleeping with the Director of this movie was in big letters and suddenly, you felt your heart drop in your stomach again. Reading the article, you felt tears welled up in your eyes. The article wrote that the only reason you had received the role was because you slept with the Director and the reason as to why there was a sequel was because you continued to sleep with him. 
Your hands trembled as you exited the article, your phone slipping from your hands. You couldn’t believe someone would write something about that. In fact, you couldn’t believe that someone would think you would do something like that. You were always honest with your job, but no one seemed to believe that. Clamping your hand over your mouth, you let out a sob as tears streamed down your face. 
You just wanted this feeling of torture and pain to be over.
You just wanted everything to be over. 
*********
Taglist:
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wlfhrdlover · 2 years ago
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hello can you do a jenna ortega reader when the reader is a new singer and she admitted that she was in love with wednesday and the actress that portrayed her. Jenna was behind her. with fluff please
THAT'S AMAZING!!!
HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT OF DATING A SINGER?
Jenna Ortega x singer!fem!reader
summary: you never thought that your longtime celebrity crush would be in the same room as you, neither that she would find out about your crush like that.
WARNINGS! none, just fluffiness and the author being extremely lazy of turning it on a slow burn.
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Everything started when you posted a cover on YouTube, a simple cover of one of your favorite songs.
You never thought that it would blow up like it did, in a blink you already had thousands of fans.
Then you decided to write for fun, adding to the fact that you knew how to sing, you made your own career, a lot of producers or even other singers appeared to buy your songs and other things.
But right now? You stared at the paparazzis from your seat, the red carpet of the Golden Globes staring back at you. Your song in one of the best movies of the year were unbelievable.
You couldn't believe it.
You wrote some lines and when you turned, the movie blew up and with your music as the main soundtrack, you blew with it too.
Best Original Song, what the actual fuck.
You took a deep breathe and finally stepped out of the car, smiling and looking around for help so you didn't tripped.
When you reached the Red Carpet you were almost fangirling, being the biggest movie fan was something else right now, every actor and actress that you adored were right in front of you.
You were a pile of nerves right now, your hands slightly shaking but you took deep breathes, you made it. If you're here it's because you owned it! You need to calm down!
— Y/N!- you heard a voice and you turned, an interviewer called you and you walked up to her- Oh my God! You look absolutely gorgeous!- she exclaimed.
— Thank you so much!- you said smiling.
— How are we feeling tonight?- she asked and you laughed.
— Nervous, really nervous, I barely went on Tour and I'm already here! This is really crazy, I grew up watching every Award possible and I'm here today! This is really insane!- you said truthfully and she smiled at you.
— I can imagine it, I mean, one moment you were releasing an album for some people and now your music is getting all the nominations possible, congratulations!- she said and you nodded.
— Thank you so much, it's really a dream coming true- you chuckled.
— Well, you mentioned that you watched a lot of Awards, I'm guessing that you're a movie person?- she asked and you nodded happily.
— Dude, definitely! I'm really freaking out because I'm seeing a lot of people that I absolutely admire and we're at the same place- you laughed nervously- I've always loved watching Movies and Series and everything, I'm just really passionated about it.
— Do you have a favorite actress or actor that you wish to see tonight? Or even better, a celebrity crush?- the woman wiggled her brows and you laughed loudly.
— Oh man, I'm gonna be honest with you, I heard that Jenna Ortega is here tonight and oh my God, she is my favorite actress from all time, I mean, I've been watching her since she was on Stuck in the Middle, I do remember a lot of her jobs and the last one?- you made a sound with your mouth- Wednesday Addams could totally crush me and I would never complain, Jenna is so beautiful and talented, not to be this type of person but I'm so free for her all the time, Jenna is definitely the girl of my dreams.
What you didn't know is that Jenna was standing behind you and smirking like a devil with your words.
— What would you say to Jenna if you saw her tonight?- the woman asked chuckling knowing that Jenna was right behind you.
— One chance Jenna, that's all I ask- you said shyly- I would so invite her to I don't know man, go to a cafeteria, tea shop, I don't know, because I really have no idea of how to treat someone so perfect like her, if she says no I would still be blessed for even breathing the same air as her- you blushed and jumped when felt a hand on your waist.
Your dress had a slightly open part on your waist, so the coldness of the rings through your skin made you shriver.
— Don't worry about the 'no' part, because I would gladly accept it- Jenna fucking Marie Ortega was holding your waist and really close to you.
Your brain melted, you stared at her in somehow a love gaze and she definitely adored it, principally when you bite your own finger with a blush spreading on your face.
— You're so pretty- you blurted out and they laughed, Jenna hugged you tightly and you quickly hugged her back- Holy shit- you muttered with wide eyes when you noticed what was happening.
— Oh please, look at you! Not only your voice but you have such a pretty face- she said and you blushed even more.
— Me? Oh baby, you're the it girl of my dreams- you said.
Jenna never thought that love at first sight was real, but just looking at the way you talked and how your whole face would shine under the light whenever you moved because of your nervousness, did little sparks explode on her heart and brain.
When you two got to hide from the cameras, you were really shy, but Jenna was too. It was awkward for a moment before you two bursted out laughing.
— Oh my God, you heard me being a simp for you- you whispered covering your mouth and she laughed more.
— Don't worry about it, I thought it was really cute and most of the time I think it's creepy- she made a disgusted face and you giggled.
Jenna could hear your giggles all day.
— Sorry, I couldn't help it, you're... well, I didn't lied, you're the girl of my dreams really, there is no other way of being honest with you- you said and your whole body burned in embarrassment.
— Well, is our tea shop date still up?- she asked and you nodded.
— Oh definitely, I can take you anywhere you want- you said and she smiled.
When the ceremony started, you got lucky to sit on Jenna's side, you two talked and definitely judged the whole thing.
You also found out that she would be the one to present your category.
You were so lost staring at her that you didn't noticed when she opened the envelope in her hands.
— And the winner is...- she grinned- Y/N L/N for (song name)!- you widened your eyes.
After the Awards you went to the after party just to see Jenna, you planned on just going back to your hotel room, but Jenna begged you to go so she could talk to you.
— So, you really watched my whole filmography?- Jenna teased you and you blushed but laughed.
— You got me, I just always... I don't know, I really like to see you- you eyed her and she was definitely checking you out, you blushed more and looked around.
You leaned closer to Jenna and your hands touched, she smiled and your fingers almost danced together.
— I lied in that interview- you whispered and looked at her, she hummed.
— About what?- she followed your eyes.
— About what I would ask you if I saw you tonight- you muttered and Jenna leaned closer.
— And what do you want to ask me pretty girl?- she smiled, the few sips of alcohol on both of your systems made the two of you completely forget about the world, it was only you and Jenna right now.
— Have you ever thought of dating a singer?- you whispered and smiled while you moved your hand to gently hold her face.
— I'm willing to give it a chance- she said and your lips brushed against each others and without thinking, you pulled Jenna to a sweet and soft kiss.
NEWS!!
The actress Jenna Ortega and the singer Y/N L/N officially confirmed their relationship after 2 years of fans theorizing about the two together!
Everything started in a interview on the Golden Globes....
tap to read more!
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richardlawson · 9 months ago
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The End
After a few years away from that particular couch, I started seeing a new therapist at the end of last year. It had been long enough, I sagely determined, after I was felled by a series of really nasty panic attacks—one happened while I was doing a Q&A on stage with some filmmakers. They didn't notice, nor did the audience, nor (most importantly) the publicists. But it was happening. Me contemplating running off stage, into the Soho afternoon. It was a terrible feeling, and eventually feeling terrible starts to be a drag, so I found, after a fair amount of searching, someone new.
He is in his late 50s and has a kind, open comportment. He's much more giving and lean-in-and-nod than my last therapist, a sort of prim and watchful gay guy who retired to Florida. I like this new gay guy, I think. Or, I am warming to him. At first, I thought his platitudes and constant quoting of various people were corny. But I have resisted such sentiment for so long, and lack of sentiment hasn't cured me, so maybe I should try the earnest stuff. He has me meditating for one minute a day. The panic attacks went away.
For a little while, anyway. They've been creeping back, when I least expect them, and when I most do. I am afraid of what I am afraid of, I hate what I hate, I feel increasingly indifferent to what I love. Winter hardens care. Do I like movies anymore? Do I like a play, seen on some chilly Saturday afternoon? Maybe it's just seasonal. Or it's media malaise in a time of such austerity. They're trying to lay off the best people while the worst people watch, safe as houses. They're trying to take the whole thing apart and replace it with nothing. I have worked in my business for 16 years, well over a third of my life, and for the first time it now feels truly dire and terminal and like I need to start making other plans for what to do with the rest of my time here in the waking, working world.
Something I talk about a lot with my therapist is inertia—I use the word constantly. Why can't I just, why can't I just, why can't I just. I know something's in me, latent under my lazy skin, but it never makes its way to the surface. At least not yet.
Which causes panic, this stasis. I am scared of the drugs that might help, and am resistant to other concrete life changes that might make this better. (I like a glass of wine too much; I'm a fan of my vape.) I have tried avoiding things, I have tried not avoiding things.
I guess it's not circumstance, really. I have panic attacks when I'm home at night, Andrew asleep in the other room, me watching some murder show or YouTube video (same thing) and suddenly a feeling hits me, the conviction that a blood clot or some other lurking thing is making its way up my body and that this is my sorry, lonely little nighttime end. Here it is, the moment when I'm carried off, when I disappear, when I slip away into nothing.
My parents just finished a cruise, a lifelong wish fulfilled, in South America, hooking around Cape Horn and then exploring the fjords and inlets of Chile. All the reports were good. They had the best time. I had worried about my mom itching for her work email, about my dad being newly 90 years old and maybe feeling exhausted by all the activity. But it seems they managed well. They saw Patagonian cities, they saw mountains rising out of the sea, they saw the shy, retreating edges of glaciers, so quiet and demure in their dying. My mom sent us pictures and I thought most about the glaciers, those last cracking murmurs of a time before. When I was in Alaska for a wedding, years ago now, we went to a park of some kind and the visitor's center that was once built over a glacier then stood cantilevered over dry land. The ice had crept much farther up the mountain, winking goodbye.
How awful. And yet, in the depths of my hypocrisy, I relish an unseasonably warm day. Whatever lifts me out of winter, I guess. Whatever can drag me out of the feeling that everything is indeed going to ruin—a career, a life, a liver, a future. My best friend moved out of my neighborhood recently, which is sad. But it also affords us the opportunity to explore new territory, to find backyard bars with good deals where we can huddle in forgiving late-winter winds and make uneasy escape plans, where we consider what parachutes could ever be made of.
It's not always enough, of course. I too often have nights, far too late, when I go pacing around the living room, circling the coffee table in a weird sort of marching step in my underwear, shaking my hands to get the dread to go away. My new therapist has urged me to find what centers me. To think of all that is known and steady.
I try to gather myself and remember the people I have, arrayed across the planet. Andrew, in restless sleep down the hall. My sister in her Los Angeles canyon, surrounded by trees. I walk the room, knees high and somehow defiant, chest straining with worry. And I see my parents, on a boat at the tip of the world, dreaming of lost things.
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coffincestuous · 7 months ago
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happy may!! you know what that means…
kit9 progress report #5
this time, we get these two images:
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brand new andrew sprite!! clearly something is wrong. it isn’t out of the question to assume that this andrew is probably possessed. i don’t think andrew would be making that face while talking to himself about camping of all things. he’s on his own, somewhere, with a perfectly good demon-summoning setup right there! i wonder where ashley is?
and, speaking of ashley, we have the… kind of intense second picture. yeah, i know, cannibalism and incest game and i find her crying to be intense. but, we’ve never seen ashley cry before. we’ve seen her shout whine and pout, and we’ve seen her hysterical, but we’ve never seen her full-on sobbing. she looks so defeated :( her makeup is messy, her eyes are flat, and she just generally doesn’t look like she’s having a nice time. i’ve seen people assume that she’s thinking about andrew here, and i agree! who else could make ashley feel so bad??
(poor girl…)
next, we have a new video!!
youtube
here are some screenshots:
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lots to dissect here!!
i think this place is the same abandoned place we saw in the previous devlog! which is, of course, the abandoned factory that we know they played at as kids. we don’t see much of the building from the flashbacks with nina in episodes one and two, but the implication is there.
second, andrew accidentally summoned a demon!! as an adult, he’s proud of ashely for doing the same thing. well, hers was on purpose, even if she got there accidentally. anyway, i wonder what kind of “deal” actually happened, because i don’t think this demon hated vegetables like carrots and broccoli. this post proposes that the term “vegetables” has something to do with cannibalism…
…i hope it’s not as ableist as it sounds, but… maybe…?
andy wakes up some time later, laying in the circle when he wasn’t before, and is covered in red flowers. we see these same red flowers in ashley’s demon-dreams. the summoning circle is different than the ones we’ve seen so far, but we learned with andrew and ashley’s parents that the layout of the circle and pentagrams don’t exactly matter when summoning demons. it can be an oval, there could be any number of smaller pentagrams, it’s whatever. that may be because of the trinket ashley has, but lord unknown was able to be summoned instead of ashley’s demon, so who knows!
andy questions how he passed out, and says that he “thought [he] ate enough at lunch.” we already know the graves’ parents aren’t the best, and we know that they severely neglected ashley. we also know that mr. graves neglected andrew, and couldn’t even remember his name. it wouldn’t surprise me if andy and leyley went without food sometimes, or even frequently, or more often than not. and, it wouldn’t surprise me if andrew prioritized ashley eating over himself eating, too. it’s something that i’ll keep in mind going in to episode three!!
we see leyley scream in the video, and the player as andy rushes to her. the youtube video cuts off before andy leaves this room, but it makes me wonder: what would make leyley scream? she isn’t yelling, either at someone or something, and we’ve seen that she’s pretty unimpressed with stuff that’d usually make kids upset (abandoned buildings, dead bodies, murder, horror movies, and more). so, what happened? did she see something? hear something? who or what would make leyley scream?
hmm…
also, a workaround has been found for the technical issues mentioned last devlog, which i’m happy about! they’re now focusing on enhancing the editor tools to hopefully get back on track to “make up for lost time,” as they said. i’m still super excited for episode three!!!
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