#I just really really hope it happens this year because I don't know if I'm ready for the heartbreak of another fucking rejection

[danimia]

Have you, then, taken steps to flee this godawful country? Are you saving up enough money to afford the plane tickets and whatever immigration costs are required in whatever country you are taking refuge in? Have you, perhaps, already left? Because that's what OP is talking about. Not some arbitrary "Oh this is just too much" line that you can just look at and say, "oh yeah I'm over the line".

I'm 41 years old. My grandparents were Jews who lived in Germany before immigrating to the US.

They survived to meet each other and have my mom because they left Germany before things got so bad that they wouldn't have been able to leave, before the Nazi government confiscated their passports to trap them there. They did that not because they saw their fellow Jewish citizens being slaughtered, because by that point it would have been too late. They left when things got scary enough that they were willing to leave their families behind and flee their country, and that's the only reason I exist today. That is the line OP is talking about.

The Republicans want to boil us like frogs in a pot and hope that we'll just keep saying, "well, I survived that, and this isn't so much worse, I'll see how it goes," because they know that humans can adjust to any indignity, especially if they see that "everyone else" is going along with it.

Think about what it would mean to flee the country. Really think about it. Think about what country you'll run to; think about the plane tickets you'll have to buy and how you'll make it past TSA. Think about leaving everyone you know behind without even saying goodbye, because the longer you wait, the more likely it is that your "running away" will become literal running from "law enforcement." Buy a new pair of sneakers, just in case.

Once you've really thought it through, once you've made your plans and internalized how much it will cost you, financially and emotionally, then think about where your line is. Think: "what is the one thing that, if they do this, I know shit has gotten too real and I have to hit the go button on those plans because otherwise I am at risk of being murdered by Nazis." Think about what amount of horror it will take for you to decide that the agony of your emergency emigration plan becomes the lesser evil than hunkering down in place and hoping the law enforcers don't notice you, like I'm doing.

I don't have a line, because it's already too late for me. I don't have a valid passport and the US won't issue me one. Regardless of what happens with the government, even if we start seeing roundups of transfolk and actual gas chambers, I'm trapped here. I can't cross any land border and no international flight will let me on.

Reader, are you already trapped? If so, you have my condolences, and I wish you the best of luck in staying safe in the coming years. If not, maybe put some effort into figuring out how hard it will really be to emigrate, and then decide where your line is.

I didn’t want to be here.

To my fellow trans people in the US, think about what that line is. For me? The moment the government begins actively keeping and expanding a list or registry of transgender citizens, I will be leaving. I’m prepared to flee in less than 2 weeks if necessary.

We will make it through this. But we need to be prepared. Running is hard. Especially from the only country you’ve ever known. You’ll have to leave things behind. But you are worth saving. Lives can be rebuilt, but a life can’t be returned once taken.

Find your line. Be ready to leave if it’s crossed.

Pass it along. We all need to think about this. We all need to be ready.

[youryanderedaddy]

tw: vampire "roommate", mostly light - hearted, teasing, murder threat (not reader)

"You're early today." He murmurs, taking a long drag off one of your cigarettes - the ones you carefully hid in the drawer precisely because you hoped he wouldn't find them - but alas.

"Didn't know you were keeping track, father." You scoff with unhidden annoyance, throwing your bag across the room - and it flops on the floor unceremoniously.

"Father," The vampire snickers sardonically, reaching to stroke the cross on his chess - you knows it's cheap and plastic, so it can't hurt him, not really. Maybe that's why he wears it - perhaps some part of his self - absorbed, immortal, twisted sense of humor finds it funny, hilarious even. "Very catholic - I like it. Say it again for me?" He teases, voice so silky it grazes your ears - something you're just not in the mood for today.

"Very funny." You roll your eyes, crossing your arms before you slowly find the courage to walk up to him. You look up - his dark locks are perfectly neat, flowing down gracefully like lilies, another painful reminder of his immorality. "I told you multiple times not to touch my cigs, okay?" You take a deep breath, grabbing the half - empty box in a flashy, demonstrative manner and waving it across his pretty, smug face. "Obviously I can't stop you from marging here whenever you want - and God, did I try," He chuckles at that, raising a single eyebrow - but you ignore him and continue. "But you can at least pretend not to be here while I'm away. And don't touch my stuff! Ugh!"

You sit down on your bed, feeling powerless, defeated from university, life, and the terrible day you had just had. It all feels like too much - but none of your frustrations get to Julian, who keeps observing you with curiosity.

"Why do you even smoke them? You're already dead." You keep ranting, throwing your hands in the air. "S'not like you can speed up the process." You mumble under your breath as you put the box on the buro beside you, which makes the man laugh whole - heartedly, sitting next to you. You swallow quietly, unnerved by the shortened distance - he's been showing at your flat for more than an year now, always unannounced - butting into your life, prying every little detail and crook of information, yet you still freeze up when you feel the cold radiating off his skin. It's unnatural - inhuman, and your heat recognizes what the other lacks. What he's not, and what he is, deep down - a predator.

"I like it. In all of your movies I see men and women smoking as they stare into the distance oh-so-mysteriously. I thought you humans liked that stuff." The man nudges towards you, smirking - and despite your best efforts, you feel completely and utterly mesmerized by the pure whiteness of his skin, the sheer contrast of soft red lips and sharp blue eyes. You can't deny it - every part of you wants to reach out and feel the ice under your fingers. He calls it "song of the void" - just like sirens, silver - born vampires like him have a certain magnetism, an all - encompassing charm meant to entice and tempt, and eventually trap the prey under control. So what does that make you?

"Oh, cheer up, princess. This was a joke. Why the long face?" Julian adds softly, catching your tired gaze. "Wait, don't tell me. I know what it is." He clicks his tongue, eyes full of mischief. "It's your little boyfriend, isn't it? What was his name again, Tiggy?"

"It's R-ricky!" You squel, growing more embarrassed by the second - this can't be happening. "And he's not my boyfriend!" You exhale, suddenly overtaken by even more fatigue. "He's just some asshole from the union." You whisper under your nose, but he, of course, picks up on it - heightened senses and all. The vampire then presses two cold fingers against your left cheek, bringing them to his lips - and you have to force yourself not to flinch, to remind yourself that you are technically friends - that he wouldn't hurt you.

Julian clicks his tongue in disapproval, eyes flickering with playfulness dancing on the edge between cruelty and kindness.

"Your cheeks are awfully warm for someone who doesn't care." His voice deepens as you try to collect yourself - to hide any sign of a fleeting feeling on your face, but it's all for naught. The man can read you like a book.

"I am jealous, you know..." He leans against the wall dramatically, a deep sigh on his lips - yet just for a split second, you notice his fangs sharpening. "I mean, you never get so flustered when you're talking to me." He gives you a cheeky half - smile, but his eyes remain serious and fixed onto your face. His hand rests on your thigh, drawing circles into your skin, and you can't help wondering if he can feel the blood pumping underneath - if some part of him, no matter how deep and hidden, wants to sink into the warm flesh. "I am starting to think you don't like me, princess."

You roll your eyes, swatting his hand away.

"I am really not in the mood for jokes, Jules. I had a shitty day, alright?" You exhale, gently stretching your limbs into the open air. "I know you're as familiar with empathy as fish is with bicycle," You start off, and the vampire gives you a funny look - you're not sure if it's judgemental, amused or both at the same time. " But I don't have enough patience to humor you today."

"Humor me? You wound me, sweetheart." The man puts both his hands over his heart dramatically, looking completely dejected. "If anyone is being humorous in this relationship, it's me." You raise an eyebrow in disagreement. "Oh, come on. I make you laugh." He puts a finger to his chin, mimicking as if deep in thought. "Like last Friday. I'm pretty sure you pissed yourself laughing when I tried that one recipe." He adds quickly, laughing gingerly at the memory, which makes you crack a smile in turn.

"I certainly wasn't laughing when I had to clean up the mess. I still don't know how you managed to confuse cinnamon with cumin." You frown, crossing your arms. "Hands down the worst steak I've ever had." You scrunch up your nose in disgust and he reaches to squeeze your cheek like a scolding mom. "So ungrateful. Tsk. Didn't know you were such a little snob." His voice is once again mischievous - and it's moments like these that remind you why you still let him in, despite the walking disaster he is. "You should be happy I even cook for you - without me here you'd be living off energy drinks and frozen pizza."

You lightly nudge him in the chest. "Shut up before I make you pay half the rent." You threaten, grabbing a nearby pillow and directing it at him as a weapon. He puts his hands up, holding back a snicker. "Don't bring that human bullshit into this." He says, raising to his elbows. "Oh, human bullshit? So how does your kind do it, Mr Dracula? Enlighten me." You ask, fluttering your eyelashes mockingly.

"Money is fake, obviously." Julian states profoundly, bringing his hands together. "Just some papers with no real value - besides the one you give it. What's stopping me from choosing the shiniest mansion on George street, killing everyone and turning it into my den?" He responds, undoubtedly serious - and you can't help the giggle that escapes you. "I don't know, the law?" You respond, shoulders moving up and down in joy. "What law? Legally I don't exist. Good luck finding me in those enormous data bases." His smug expression is back. "And that's only if their computers still work. Some are older than me." He finishes, totally self assured, and by that points your stomach hurts from laughing. This is... comforting.

"You're not angry anymore." Julian remarks, clear blue orbs carefully observing your every reaction - every single feature of your face to the smallest wrinkle. "I guess you forgot all about Richard. Heh." He turns to you. "Just my charm, I guess."

And just like that your mood sours again.

"Ugh, don't even mention it." You mumble, looking away - the man really doesn't know when to stop poking around. "What's the deal with you two?" His tone drops. "What, did he get you one of those shampoo boxes for Valentine's? The three in one - go?" He rambles, but you remain silent. "You know, I'd never do that. I actually have some self respect. I would have gotten you a real shampoo. The nice one that smells like peaches. I could steal you half a dozen - my movements don't trigger the alarms. Maybe even some conditioner." You can practically hear the jab in his words, and it's making you even more frustrated.

"Just shut up, okay?" You finally speak up, sending a sharp gaze his way, and his words die mid-sentence. "He cheated on me. Here, I said it. Are you happy now? Do you want all the gritty details?" You add, squinting at him - and his jaw locks in place.

"Fuck," Your friend mumbles softly, followed by your name. "I didn't know, princess. I am an idiot, I know, but he must be an absolute fool. Who would even hurt someone like y-" He takes a deep breath, stepping closer to you - and you step back. "Do you want me to slash his tires? I just stole a new blade that would be perfect for the job." He swears - and it's almost convincing, but you simply stare ahead, shaking your head.

"Don't be ridiculous. Wait, did you just say you stole-" You take a deep breath, trying to calm your nerves. "Look, it's alright. I, ugh, I will be fine. Sorry for screaming at you. It's just, it will take a while." You avoid his eyes - and the pity in them. "I, well, I liked him a lot, I guess."

The silence that takes over is deafening - but as you fight the shameful tears tightening your throat, Julian wraps his hands around you, silently. There is nothing much to be said, and he's cold as a statue - yet his hand down your back and his lips against your forehead bring you a great sense of warmth.

"Don't cry for him." He mutters with uncharacteristic tenderness before he lets his voice become sinister. "Please don't cry, because I might just go and bleed him dry, angel. Be strong for me, okay?" His hold gets tighter and the smell of metal and leather that seems to follow him wherever he goes, intensifies, leaving you light-headed. "I am here for you, always. I will never leave you." He strokes your hair, moving a loose strand out of your face. "I will never, ever leave you."

[spencerreids-wifey]

𝐈 𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐍𝐄𝐄𝐃 𝐘𝐎𝐔 | 𝐒. 𝐑𝐄𝐈𝐃

Category: Angst, fluff

Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Warning: infertility issues

Summary: After a whole year of trying for a baby and being left with nothing, reader goes to the hospital for answers only to get bad news, Spencer later than comforts her after she blames herself.

You were seated on the couch in the living room of you and Spencer's apartment. The tv was on, but you weren't listening to a word that was being said. You just quietly sat, replaying the words that the doctor had said to you earlier.

"So I've run some tests, multiple actually." Your doctor said as she came into the room, closing the door behind her. She looked down at the papers in her hand.

With hope, you looked at her. "And?"

She cleared her throat and hesitated for a bit before she spoke. "I'm sorry, but results show that you have a primary ovarian insufficiency."

You just looked at her with confusion, "I- I don't know what that means, what does that mean?"

"It means that, unfortunately, your ovaries aren't functioning the way they should, and your body isn't producing enough eggs for conception."

Your lips parted, and you let out a breath. You couldn't believe what you were hearing. "Primary ovarian insufficiency?" She repeated quietly, more to herself than to the doctor.

"I want to let you know that this is common and can happen for numerous reasons." The doctor looked at you, giving you a pity look. "Generic factors, autoimmune conditions, or sometimes there isn't a a clear cause."

Listening to her talk, you felt the inside of you shatter, but you didn't want to break down in front of her. "Thank you." You mumbled, not trusting yourself to say more.

"I'm really sorry, Mrs. Reid." The doctor frowned and added. "Do know that there are plenty of ways to-"

You shook your head. "Don't..please."

The drive home was a blur, the world outside your car window smearing together in muted shades of gray.

You barely remembered unlocking the door to your shared apartment, your mind consumed with one thought: How am I supposed to tell Spencer?

Having kids was something you and Spencer had talked about before you even got married.

You saw how his eyes lit up at the thought of having kids of his own, the way he'd interact with Henry and Michael, and it warmed your heart, and you wanted nothing more than to bless him with the opportunity to be a Dad.

But now that was just a mere dream, a dream that would never happen, because of you.

That's when you heard Spencer's key from outside, and he opened the door, stepping inside and setting his bag off and closing the door behind him.

Immediately, he went over to you, leaned down, and gave you a kiss on the cheek. "Hey, sweetie."

You didn't answer, and that's when Spencer got a good look at the expression that was held on your face, and he knew something was wrong.

"What's wrong?" He asked, concerned.

You looked up at, your heart pounding and tears welled up, threatening to spill, and Spencer was in front of you in an instant, his hands gently resting on your arms.

"Sweetheart?" He prompted softly.

"I went to the doctors..." You mumbled.

Spencer's expression softened, before he left to go on his case you had mentioned how you wanted to go to the doctors and get some tests ran, he knew it bothered you that for a whole year the two of you had been trying for a baby, only to be disappointed every time.

"And?" He sat down next to you on the sofa.

That's when tears rolled down her face. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, Spence-"

Spencer frowned and his hand came up to your face and he calmly spoke. "Hey..hey...talk to me."

"I'm sorry, I'll never be able to give you kids."

The silence that followed felt deafening. You kept your eyes on the floor, bracing yourself for his reaction, for disappointment, for anything.

Then, without hesitation, he closed the distance between you and wrapped his arms around you.

“I’m so sorry,” he murmured, his lips brushing against your hair and he sighed. “I know how much this meant to you.”

You broke then, burying your face in his chest as sobs wracked your body. “I—I’m so sorry, Spence. I can’t give you kids. I know how much you wanted a family. I feel like I’ve failed you.”

His grip on you tightened, and he gently pulled back, cupping your face in his hands. “Hey, look at me,” he urged, his voice steady and reassuring.

When you finally met his gaze, you saw nothing but love in his warm hazel eyes.

“You haven’t failed me,” he said firmly to make sure you understood the words. “Not now, not ever. I don’t need anything else to be happy, sweetheart. You make me happy. All I need is you."

"But I know you’ve always wanted to be a dad,” you whispered, your voice trembling.

“And I’ve always wanted you more,” he countered without missing a beat. “If there’s anything I’ve learned from the team, it’s that family isn’t always about blood. We can figure this out together—whether that means adoption or something else—or we can just be us. You’re everything I’ve ever needed, and that’s never going to change."

You looked up into his eyes and saw that he meant every word he was saying.

He wiped the tears that fell from your eyes. "You have given me so much. First off, all you let a loser like me take you out..."

You couldn't help but chuckle a bit at his words.

"And then you proceeded to give me the chance to call you my wife..." Spencer took your hand and smiled. "You've given me so much, and I appreciate you, and this....information doesn't change the way I see you or feel about you."

“I don’t deserve you,” you whispered, a faint smile breaking through your tears.

“Of course, you do,” he said, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “And I’m going to remind you of that every day if I have to.”

In that moment, you felt the weight on your shoulders begin to lift. You weren’t sure what the future held, but as long as you had Spencer by your side, you knew you’d be okay.

[mircsy]

Hi! First of all, I hope you're having a great day and if not then that it will get better very soon 💙

I was wondering about one thing - how does being popular in the fandom/liked by people here make you feel? I mean, is that annoying or maybe more heartwarming? Did you want it when you first started animating? And when people want to befriend you do you feel bad about it/tired of it or maybe you are happy about it (or something totally else)? I'm just curious, if you don't want to answer, you don't have to, obviously!

Oh, these are some interesting questions that I have never really considered before, hmm…

I definitely didn’t do my first EPIC animatic to become popular, I never thought it would become popular, let alone lead to working with Jorge later. Until now I was used to that my works don’t get much attention, and I just accepted that. If twenty, thirty, at top fifty people see them, that’s already a huge success for me even now. What heartwarming is when people freak out when I pop in the EPIC discord server chats now and then, although those times I freak out as well because I’m always surprised someone recognises me ahaha. Or when I see people discuss what they like about my works BUT reading reasonable, constructive critisism is also very much appreciated and welcome.

When the fandom was smaller I made some good friends, and keep contact with them even today. Nowadays not many want to befriend me, though there is a bunch of EPIC and other artists who’ve been brought together about half a year ago to play gartic phone (I’ll always be deeply grateful to you @abandoned-raccoon ) and that group works like a found family now😂

And honorable mentions to @arwenmusic and Casper Fox, top tier song writers and musicians

If fans tried to reach out to me to befriend me, however, even if not annoying, it would definitely be overwhelming. Therefore, I am standoff-ish when it happens. Especially because on the internet one can never know the true intention of another.

[batboyblog]

i live in the south, and i used to follow someone on here who lives in the same state as me, who i thought would've understood how difficult things are for marginalized people who live in red states and why we needed harris to win. but they kept reblogging posts about how both parties are the same and anyone who votes for harris is voting for genocide (as if letting trump win was going to be any better?? he's just started talking about wanting to "clean out the whole thing" and forcibly displace all remaining palestinians by making them move to jordan and egypt, an idea which every group who would be affected hates 🙄). i kept hoping they'd finally realize the very obvious fact that contributing to trump's win wasn't going to make things better for any decent person in the world but the last straw for me was when they posted something like "well i was going to go vote for [fictional character] but the line was too long so i just went home haha!!" i blocked them right after that, and now of course trump is in office and things are going to get so much worse for me and for them as those of us in red states have so much less of a chance to push back against our local governments and all of the bigots who voted for trump will feel more emboldened by his win. so yeah, i share your small fantasy that people like that will wake up and realize they were wrong for spreading these ideas. sorry for venting in your inbox though lol, you don't have to reply to this if you don't want to!

One of my best friends in politics is from Louisiana. He's gay and when he came out his parents sent him to a pray the gay away camp where... really horrible shit happened. And I think about that skinny kid coming out of just the most horrible shit imaginable and being a Freshman in college working his ass off for a Red State Democratic Senator, Mary Landrieu, Mary didn't win, but he worked SO hard for her. And we met working on Hillary's campaign together, boy has bad luck with Democratic women running for office.

Any ways the point is, I love red state Dems, I really do. My friend really loved John Bel Edwards, now I don't think either of us really fully agreed with Edwards, I know my friend was as feminist as a gay boy can be and believed in the right to an abortion totally, Edwards was/is one of the rare pro-life Democrats. But my friend understood, a Democratic governor would protect more people's rights, do more for the poor and the disadvantaged. Edwards' signed an order day one in office banning LGBT discrimination in the state government, when a Republican took over 8 years later, day one, threw that order out, a lot like Trump undoing all the pro-LGBT orders Biden did and rolling back trans rights/access to federal documents that came about under President Obama and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.

I think thats the thing, in Red States and in America at large we share this big country with a lot of people most of whom are more conservative than I am, so how do I get as much of what I want as I can? Do I vote Mickey Mouse for President? no I vote for the candidate that will do the most good, I won't always agree with them, I don't agree with myself most of the time.

idk it's not... theoretical to me? I'm likely not writing my best work here but when it comes to voting I think about all the people in my life who needed help, if they got it or not, and the ways they were left behind or would have been life behind and all the kids out there, queer kids trans kids, the poor always the poor kids, you know and the loss they'll suffer because of 4 years of a Republican President. And yes Trump is a VERY bad Republican President but if we ever get to some future after him there will come a time where maybe a bland centrist Democrat will run against a business focused Republican, Bush V Gore? and people will say "oh there's no difference" and there is.

oh also I want to say, the little old ladies, the normie "cringe lib" wine moms and grandmas (and yes dads and granddads, but more women then men tbh) who struggle with a grand-nephews pronouns did more for trans rights by going out knocking doors for Harris one weekend, then shitty leftist posters (trans and not) who endlessly attacked Dems and voting.

any ways I'm sorry all this is happening, idk what state you're in or how bad it is or will be. I don't have easy answers for living through this long night of the soul. As Thomas Paine put it all those years ago "These are the times that try men's souls: The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of his country; but he that stands it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman." it is trying my soul, but I will endure as we all must endure, we can not give up we cannot fail, we cannot allow ourselves to be ground down by fascists, and by their handmaids who act as if they're on our side, I hope everyone is looking to what they can do, and what the next chance they have to fight back and take back political power is.

[pseudophan]

wait i'm new here and i'm curious, if you're okay talking about it what happened before in the uk / why did you move back?

longass story but i've complained about this whole ordeal so much on here i think if i do the whole thing again people will get mad at me like omg we get it. anyway here it is again:

i moved to england (milton keynes specifically which all brits find very funny) with my mum in 2016 to go to high school because norway requires you to do six thousand subjects even if you "specialise" in something and i just did not have that in me. every subject combined with an instant fail if you miss more than like three lessons? absolutely the fuck not. in mk i did a level 3 creative media btec which is known as a bit of a joke because it won't make you kill yourself as much as a-levels, but lowkey i enjoyed it SO much. i've heard media btecs are very hit or miss depending on your tutors but mine were really good! half my class was only there because they flunked out of their a-levels and wanted something easy, but by like week two i'd say most of them were really into it

after college i started a film and tv production course at uni in london, none of the fancy unis because rip my grades lmao but it was a good time. year one went alright, but then when i applied for a loan for the second year months went by and i didn't hear anything until literally DECEMBER, halfway through the year, when they got back to me and were like oh sorry you don't qualify for the loan. oh and we're also taking back the money you got for the first year, so now you're in immediate debt to us for that and to the uni directly for the months you just did where we just couldn't be bothered to tell you you didn't qualify for any funding. hope this helps!

basically because i'd already lived in the uk for a couple of years before university i could apply as an english student rather than an international one, which is much cheaper so that was great. i also, IN THEORY, qualified for a loan through the student loans company, which is, IN THEORY, much easier and less annoying than the norwegian one because you don't start paying it back right away, you can wait until you're actually making x amount of money. all good. the problem was that the only reason we could afford to just fuck off and move to england in the first place was that my mum got to keep her norwegian job and work from home, meaning we weren't sure if i DID actually qualify for the loan because the way she was paying taxes was like kind of confusing. i still don't know exactly how it works, but i guess you pay it all to one country and then they split it? cause you're effectively paying taxes to both norway and the uk but you're not supposed to have to pay More so idk. who knows. not me. but yeah so we called them Multiple times to ask if i was in fact eligible for a loan and every time they were like yeah it's no problem. my bad for not getting it in writing by the way, always do that. then like i said they fully accepted my loan for the first year after looking through all our documents so clearly it WAS in fact fine, or at least enough people working there believed it was.

i have no idea what actually happened with the second year application, or which one got evaluated wrong. might have been the first one, might be the second, i'll probably never know. the real kicker though is that if they just got back to me earlier i could have gotten a norwegian loan and it would probably be fine, but because they were months late i only had like two weeks until the application deadline for the norwegian one and because the whole situation was so complicated and confusing, and i was struggling really hard with any paperwork or essays because of my super cool then-still-undiagnosed adhd, i just didn't have it in me to fight it. i was like whatever, guess i have to just drop out. didn't actually have to drop out, they suspended me for unpaid fees. i kept going until they turned off my key card though and banned me from campus lol, my tutors were just like eh keep showing up until it doesn't work anymore, it's not like they can suspend you out any more 😭

fuck knows what my plan was after dropping out. in my head i was like, well i can probably get a shitty job for a bit and yeah it probably won't go very well but it's not like i've tried, who knows! and then uhhhh covid happened LMFAO, so nevermind that shit! turns out getting a job in covid lockdown london is Difficult. my mum moved back in the middle of covid and a few months later i had to follow and now half a decade later here we are </3

[vanilladollette]

write mlm for jeon jaejun pls!! I'm literally starving BECAUSE THERE ARE NO MLM FANFICS OF HIM😭😭😭

Love was the law and religion was taught

Pairing: Jeon Jae-Joon x male reader Summary: After years of secrecy, broken promises, and feeling like a hidden part of Jea-Joon’s life, you finally chose to leave the relationship and prioritize your own happiness.

Author's note: Honestly, I don't even know if anyone else is even writing for the Glory because I have only seen a small amount. Like where is everyone?

It was only a matter of time before you grew tired of Jea-Joon and decided to leave him. What surprised you most was not the act itself but how long it took for you to realize that Jea-Joon was never going to love you in the way he said he would. You’d held onto his promises, believed him when he said he’d stop keeping your relationship hidden. He swore over and over that one day, he’d announce it to the world, but that day never came. Eight years together and fifteen years of knowing him—what did you really have to show for it?

Looking back, you weren’t even sure if you could call it a relationship anymore. Jea-Joon’s frequent dalliances with women left little room for you to feel like you were truly his. At times, it felt like you were just a placeholder, someone to fill the void when he wasn’t out charming someone else.

Fifteen years ago, you’d met through mutual friends. He was magnetic even then, with a laugh that lit up a room and a smile that drew people in. The two of you hit it off immediately, but it was innocent back then—just two guys who connected on a deeper level than most. At the start, it was easy to convince yourself that you were just friends. But as the months passed, the way you looked at him began to change.

For you, it wasn’t shocking to develop feelings for another man. For Jea-Joon, it was a different story entirely.

He hadn’t expected to feel anything beyond friendship for you. At first, he convinced himself that his growing affection was just admiration, a deep appreciation for your friendship. But the way his heart raced around you, the way his gaze lingered a second too long—these weren’t feelings reserved for “just a friend.”

Jea-Joon resisted it with everything he had. He spent sleepless nights wrestling with the realization, wondering if something was wrong with him. Wasn’t he supposed to like women? Why did his thoughts always drift back to you? After a week of agonizing self-reflection, Jea-Joon finally accepted the truth: he might actually be gay.

Even so, accepting himself was only half the battle. Confessing his feelings to you was another. He couldn’t bear the thought of embarrassing himself, of risking your friendship or opening himself up to scrutiny from the people around him. What if you didn’t feel the same? What if he gave people a reason to talk about him, to judge him?

Then came that night. The two of you had gotten drunk at a party, stumbling back to his place in a haze of laughter and slurred words. The next morning, he woke up in your bed—naked. His heart pounded as the memories from the night before slowly pieced themselves together. You were already awake, sitting at the edge of the bed with an expression that was equal parts nervous and amused.

That’s when the truth spilled out. Tentatively, hesitantly, he admitted his feelings for you. To his surprise, you told him you felt the same. Relief flooded him, and for the first time in weeks, he allowed himself to hope.

You thought that moment would be the beginning of something beautiful. You thought that Jea-Joon would finally find the courage to be himself, that he’d embrace what you had together and share it with the world. But that wasn’t what happened.

When you brought up the idea of going public, Jea-Joon froze. He wasn’t ready, he told you. People didn’t know he was gay, and he wasn’t ready for them to know. You understood—at least at first. You agreed to keep your relationship a secret for his sake, telling yourself that he just needed time.

But time stretched on. In public, you were just friends. Behind closed doors, you were lovers. You told yourself it was enough. You told yourself you could wait.

What you hadn’t anticipated was how Jea-Joon would act in public. He flirted shamelessly with women, accepted their advances, and even entertained relationships with them. He acted like he was single, and you—well, you let him. At first, you justified it. He wasn’t ready to come out. He wasn’t ready to be open about you. But deep down, you knew it wasn’t just about fear. It was about his refusal to let go of the life he’d built for himself—the life that didn’t include you.

You tried to endure it. You told yourself that love meant sacrifice, that your patience would be rewarded. But there’s only so much one person can take before they break.

The day you decided to leave was both painful and liberating. You sat him down, your heart heavy with the weight of everything you were about to say. When you told him you wanted to end things, his reaction was immediate.

“No,” he said, his voice shaking. “I can fix this. Whatever I’ve done wrong, I’ll make it right. Just tell me what you need.”

You shook your head, cutting him off before he could spiral further into desperation. “It’s not about fixing anything, Jea-Joon. It’s about the promises you keep making—the promises you never keep. It’s about the way you pretend we’re just friends, like what we have doesn’t mean anything. I can’t do this anymore.”

He looked at you, his eyes wide with disbelief. “I’m trying,” he whispered.

“And I’m tired,” you replied, your voice cracking. “I’m tired of waiting for a day that’s never going to come. I’m tired of pretending I’m okay with being your secret. I’m not that kind of person, Jea-Joon. If you want to keep living like this, fine. But I can’t do it with you.”

You stood up, your hands trembling as you began packing a bag. He didn’t stop you. He just stood there, watching as the life you’d built together crumbled around him.

When you finally walked out the door, you felt a strange mixture of sorrow and relief. It hurt to leave, but staying had been hurting you for years. And for the first time in a long time, you chose yourself.

[carisisrolledupsleeves]

“How fucking dare you.” and pls pls add anti rollisi in prep of tomorrows ep?

disclaimer: like I said, I don't write anti-rollisi so please keep that in mind for future requests

ALSO: I haven't written anything in such a long time so this isn't very good, I'm sorry. I'm trying to ease back into writing so be patient please

The champagne is flowing. There’s cheers and congrats and hugs and well-wishes. His friends are patting him on the back with an excited ‘it’s about time’. Your friends are grabbing your hand to inspect the ring, and gush over it. And your smile seems anchored to your face. As though someone had installed a button and pressed it. You look around the crowded room, not sure what you are searching for. An escape route? The uninstall button? A way to get rid of the feeling in your gut that you can’t quite identify? 

You end up at the bar to order your usual. And while you wait for the bartender to prepare your drink, he appears next to you with the same plastic smile. 

‘Congratulations.’ He sounds sincere, and you know he is. He extends his arms for a hug and you reciprocate. 

‘Thank you, Sonny.’ You try not to inhale his scent but you can’t help it; it’s so comforting and familiar. Like another, invisible hug that embraces you.

But truth be told you had hoped he wouldn’t show up. Even though he was your best friend, even though deep down you wanted to see him; the complicated feelings his presence elicit in this moment are incongruous. The worst thing is, you know he’s aware of it. 

The bartender hands you your drink and you’re about to head back to the party but Sonny grabs your arm softly. 

‘Can we talk?’ there it is. 

Obviously it is the last thing you want to do but you feel that you owe him. So you nod and follow him, out the door and down the hall until you reach a quiet corner, out of sight and earshot of anyone. Sonny looks at you, his eyes inquiringly staring into yours. He doesn’t say anything.

‘So? You wanted to talk?’ you urge him. 

‘I’m just wondering…’

‘Wondering? About what?’

Sonny hesitates for a moment, then sighs. 

‘Wondering if you really wanna do this.’

‘What do you mean?’ you can’t believe he is really doing this. At your engagement party nonetheless. 

‘I mean…are you sure you want to marry this guy?’ he rolls his eyes. 

‘This guy? This guy has been my boyfriend for the last two years, Dominick.’

‘You were broken up for a while though.’

‘Sonny….’

‘Do you love him?’ It's obvious now that he came here with an agenda. And you were stupid enough to think he could just let it be. 

‘We’re getting married.’ you give him a stern look but he just shakes his head.

‘That wasn’t the question. Do you love him?’ Sonny repeats. 

Oh for fuck’s sake. What a drama queen. What a childish little piece of work. Motherfuckin’ Sonny Carisi showing up here acting all arrogant and demanding just because….just because…

‘Does he know? Did you ever tell him about us?’

‘Us? God, Sonny, don’t be so dramatic. There is no us, okay. There never was. It was one night. We were drunk. And he and I were on a break. Please. I thought we agreed to forget it ever happened. And now you show up here, bringing it up again? How fucking dare you.’

Sonny seems unfazed by your words, instead of backing off, he steps closer. 

‘You told me you loved me.’

‘I was drunk. And emotional. We both were. It didn’t mean anything.’ you regret the words as soon as they leave your mouth. 

He swallows hard and for the first time you can see hurt in his eyes. But what did he expect? That he could just confront you with this and you would crumble and fall at his feet? Confess your love, run off into the sunset together?

‘Well, it meant something to me.’ he says, his voice low. ‘And I really thought my best friend of over ten years would be honest with me. Not do something so stupid just to prove something.’

‘Exactly. You’re my best friend. And I didn’t want to lose our friendship over one drunken night. Don’t you get that, Sonny?’ 

There’s tears in your eyes and you hate it. You hate the fact that he can see how much this is affecting you. 

‘I know, and you know, that you don’t really want this. That you have doubts, that you’re not sure if he’s the one. Whether you want to admit it or not. But you know what? I hope I’m wrong.  I hope he makes you so happy. I hope you have the life you deserve. With him. And I wish I could say I’m going to be there and be part of it, as your friend because I really want to. But truthfully…I don’t think I can.’

‘Sonny…’ 

‘I love you. I’ve always loved you. I just want you to know that.’ his hand touches yours and before you can even say anything, or stop him, he walks away. 

And your feet are stuck to the ground and you can’t move and you can’t breathe; that’s what it feels like. Like a punch in the gut. Because you know his heart but you don’t know yours and it hurts, and it hurts, and it hurts so much. And you’re aware you’re making the biggest mistake of your life. 

prompt requests list

[boobersandstuff]

Just wanted to say, I 100% agree and also don't understand how it was homophobic. I think back then it would've been but over time & the context of how rick writes queer characters has changed so much that, you look back at that scene and you realise, damn, that's good rep right here. In my oppion anyway.

I'm happy that nico made you feel so seen because honestly I'm exactly the same! Not with the queer (I'm aroace but not a gay man) stuff, I grew up lucky that at a young age I learn what queerness was and fell in love with it! It my favourite thing, my hyperfixation for about 2 Years or so. So I never hated myself for it, but I did & do have really bad self-esteem.

Instead for a time, I had internalised abilism, wishing I wasn't autistic or adhd and instead normal. Hiding it and masking because I was so ashamed about who I was. So I can relate to nicos internalised stuff to a certain point.

I also grew up an outcast, ostrosaed, alone, lonely for my premative years. So I understand nicos trauma & stuff a lot more.

I feel so seen by him in so many ways, so while reading the sun & the star, to see that, not only does he heal & get a happy ending, he gets a boyfriend. Nico gets a special person who's always been around, it's just not until then that the universe allowed him to have him.

Honestly it just makes me so happy and seen because nicos struggles & my struggles are nearly 1-to-1. Even the ages of when our worst traumas are 1-to-1.

So to read a character who's been nothing but miserable for so long, not only heal, and get a happy ending, a special person (boyfriend in this case), makes me feel so seen because, as of Writing this, that's me. I'm in my own healing arch from the awful stuff that happened to me, I've found my special person, my friends, people who I love so much and treat me right.

It just feels so extra right for me, and I know if I had read nicos character arch back then it would've felt even better, like a hope I would get better one day and I would be happy. And I can say with full honestly, that... I did. I got better, I am better, I'm happy.

I have almost achieved all my dreams (almost), so I'm ok, and for once I mean it. So again, nico getting a happy ending while me myself having my own, feels so right and I just look back at mini me and just smile, proud of myself for sticking it through :,]

Saw this tiktok and it perfectly articulated what I've been thinking when I saw some posts on here nitpicking the comming out scene in tsats!

Like, YES!!! THANK YOU!! it was so upsetting to see that, and demigods are more atune to their mortal side rather than their godly side. They don't know wether its safe to come out to EVERYONE here. I'm sure demigods have come out to their friends in private, but definitely not the entire camp at once!

Can we celebrate character coming out scenes instead of nitpicking and getting angry because "it doesn't make any sense" or "is unrealistic" or even "not perfect". Especially with nico, when he did that, it shows just how far he's came and that he's healing and that, he's not afraid anymore, he doesn't hate himself anymore. He isn't ashamed.

After the shit-show with cupid this is a scene he more than deserved! I'll probably go more into depth in my video essay on him but yeah, he deserved that and it makes me really angry seeing people say that sort of bullshit.

Just wanted to share this :]

[brionysea]

if stranger things 5 comes out and they're like 'omg! the upside down has been a product of someone's dark and twisted mind this whole time! it's... WILL!' I'll immediately lose interest

[sskk-manifesto]

(｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡

[thedreadvampy]

it's been a strange arc so far

when I was 19-21 and having an extremely imbalanced relationship with someone in their mid 30s I was like 'we are both adults so the fact that this is fucking me up is my fault'

when I hit my late 20s and saw how young people in their late teens and early 20s seem now I was like 'oh wait I was so fucking young I didn't know shit about my own limits or about managing relationships and I don't know why someone in their mid to late 30s would be into that except for nefarious purposes'

the weird bit is now I'm into my 30s - not even that far into my 30s - and while I still wholeheartedly believe that last thing about how young (and self destructive) 20 year olds are, I'm also kind of like 'huh, actually nobody I know that age has their shit remotely together and frankly the reason this fucked me up is because NEITHER of us knew what the fuck we were doing it how to cope, for different reasons and at different life stages, and there probably wasn't any malice or intent to control as much as there was Blind Flailing.'

[running-in-the-dark]

my husband has a bank appointment tomorrow (scary) and I'm so stressed out & anxious about it that I had to take my emergency anxiety medication. it's fine, I've only taken it once in the last, idk, 4 month or so , and I needed it rn. need to sleep. that wouldn't happen otherwise. so now I'm listening to Thursday Murder Club and hoping it'll work quickly

[icewindandboringhorror]

Apparently I can meet my goal of roughly 400,000 words in 6 months if I just somehow write at least 2,200 words a day ghbjh... Almost 2,500 today... huzzah...

[buttercupshands]

I just managed to get off mha hyperfixation

And now it's happening again... Oh no

Helps with upcoming MHUI LoV event tho, it was a long time since last one happened I wonder what would happen in a new filler story part

Basically this and couple of pages of mid-final arc chapters + recent episode and next one being The Dabi episode was just too much not to get excited again

But! Important thing - I need to reread the last arc before I make anything new, if possible without finishing it to the 419 chapter and everything after, it took 2 months to really recover from the damage that chapter did

Anyway am I ready for the new event? Kinda! Do I have enough gems to get new Tomura? No! I'm not sure he'll even show up this time, because other ones were and still are really stubborn

Also Steampunk recruit took like 120 pulls in a step-up recruit and in the usual one combined

Not the best time to get LoV involved, it's cruel even

Also that one part of the page I added at the beginning was so interesting to look at and them I joked about 236 being similar. The only good thing with final arc being over is that I can say that Izuku didn't draw the parallel of seeing everyone hurt and seeing Tenko react on Mon's death

Understandable why, but it's funny to just look at them and be like, "wow Horikoshi traumatized them both"

[immortalsins]

trying to get work done today is like. lets learn how to do inverse kinematics for my robot. whats the general form of the matrix again. does my mother deserve to suffer a period of me distancing myself from her. will i survive doing that. what order am i cascading these matrices in