#I just really needed a break from here

[s0fter-sin]

something people just don’t think about is how often chronically ill and disabled people just don’t have access to good food. not healthy food, good food; well made, tasty meals that don’t come from a jar or a freezer. how many of us are housebound or can’t drive? delivery services only offer within certain distances, if you live outside a city they aren’t an option. many people don’t have the energy or ability to cook for themselves if they have the skill to begin with. many certainly don’t have the ability to learn how. it’s something that goes completely unnoticed, just the opportunity to have a good meal and how much that wears you down

[vaguely-concerned]

thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:

the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)

it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.

"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)

as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.

that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.

[adriancatrin]

katara sees her brother and bff approaching something that can make them happy and says no interruptions

based on this photo from the live action cast

[fumifooms]

Chilchuck analysis speedrun: As a hardworking half-foot who grew up poor and discriminated against and had his gullibility taken advantage of multiple times in his early adventuring days, Chilchuck thinks optimism is a dangerous flaw. He’s stressed and strict all the time because his job is noticing details like traps that could get everyone killed before anyone knows it, he takes the lives of everyone to be on his shoulders, and with the way he speaks about it that probably partly reflects how he felt about taking it upon himself to provide for his family too. His life’s always been pretty centered around work and has become even moreso now that his wife left and everyone is independent, and due to past events he’s very iffy with bonding with coworkers. He thinks feelings and job are a disaster mix. Like with his wife or with parties hiring him as sacrifice, being open or having good faith is vulnerability which can get you hurt, so he processes and shows all his stress as anger instead of worry. Doing strict dieting probably isn’t helping the irritability what with hunger, and on top of being a hunger suppressant alcohol might be the main stress reliever he has.

His grey hairs are so earned

[ondeadpeasantgirls]

There's so many layers to Ygraine s2e8.

Uther was Arthur's mother's killer, Arthur's father but also Arthur's de facto mother after Ygraine's death.

Meeting Ygraine is the first and only time Arthur gets to see Uther for what he really is - a father and a murderer rather than his whole parental unit wrapped up in one person. For the first and only time, Arthur gets to know his actual origins - he is a creature made of magic. It's what runs through his blood, making him closer to any Druid child massacred on a raid than the knights that he led. It's the first (and arguably the only) time Arthur recognizes he can break away from Uther - and tries to.

Not with a pithy "I am not you, father" or an angry argument on morality but with the rage of the son of a murdered mother - an abused child finally physically and psychologically capable of inflicting violence on their abuser.

To be clear - that's unbelievable and terrifying for anyone with a moderately healthy relationship with their parents.

Merlin sees Arthur's attack on Uther through that lens.

He also sees Arthur as the man who'll evolve into what he thinks the Once and Future King should be - just, kind, merciful, egalitarian, always seeking peace over war, returner of magic.

When Merlin says he didn't stop Arthur for Uther, what he means is he did it for Arthur and the Arthur he is certain will one day exist. Merlin is also more comfortable with lying than being honest. His whole identity has become wrapped up in serving and protecting Arthur - "I was born to be your servant."

Using magic to stop Arthur, an obvious option, would go against both his instinct to lie, save his own life (and protect his identity - which can't risk the ego death that would come from not being Arthur's servant, protector, friend. His unwillingness to alter his relationship with Arthur or see him hurt means in s2e8 Merlin has to cut Arthur's growth off at its knees - change requires some form of suffering and Merlin loves Arthur enough to die for him but not enough to risk the suffering of living without him.

[lover-of-mine]

Fought 'til you tethered me, swept under surfaces, never enough of it...

[butchsophiewalten]

Thought I had posted about this already whups. Martin made a really important twitter thread earlier:

[ganondoodle]

I am sorry to hear that the depression has stolen your spark.

I want you to know that you are the sole reason I gave Skyward Sword a chance. Your art was so beautiful and compelling that I just had to know about the media it came from.

Your art introduced me to an incredible community that years later, I am still benefitting from. Your art was the gateway, and I've always been thankful to you for that.

I hope your spark realights, and I hope you can kick depression right in its ass.

i- i did that????? qoq

yes im reviving old reaction pictures

i hope im not ruining the mood bc .. this legitimately made me tear up and i kept thinking of this ever since receiving the ask-

but bc i cant keep my mouth shut (i apologize if you are already well aware of all this i just .. like to talk i guess), i ... idk i have said this before but i feel incredibly conflicted about demise (am i allowed to like him??? do i even like him when i changed him so much??? am i a fraud fan????) and the game he comes from, i .. dont actually like skyward sword that much, or, not as much as it may seem like (my favorite is windwaker, second is botw), every now and then i even feel guilty for demise being my blorbo tm- as much as i love him im under no illusion what his introduction to the series did, the games lore is not .. great, it seems to have kickstarted the decline of the series writing and completely torpedoed any sort of fandom discussion by making zelda a literal reincarnation of the good tm gods of love and light and peace and everything good tm uwu and pit her against an evil demonnnnn that just crawled out the earth one day (??) and was only evil and bad and dark and hate incarnate an hated the good tm gods bc hes jsut so eviiiil, it gave rise to the utter dissmissal of any sort of ganondorf related discussions (funny how it only seems to apply to ganondorf, and none of the other villains hmmmmmmmmmmmm) bc, while not confirmed confirmed (though the fandom likes to pretend that), hes now widely seen as a reincarnation of demise and thus, doesnt need nuance or be given any grace or thought bc apparently when you say someone is a demon (or its reincarnation, which i dont believe ganondorf is, to be clear) that means its fine to not give them any thought bc demons are just evil tm and thats ok and good writing actually (wat????)

(if you take skysw as canonically how it all went down bc my interpretation makes it all be a fabricated lie so the gods can play their little games, there is no godess reincarnation, that was a lie to make way for an opressive kingdom belivieing itself to be irrevocably good no matter what they do etc)

it also cheapens any of the past entries, all of them have been flattened by this, why disscuss ganondorfs motivation lol, he just be a demon/demons puppet, zelda could never be wrong or do bad things bc she literal incarnation of goodness uwu etc- (and then totk, only the second game after skysw, retreads its points and makes it even worse while ALSO trampeling over that game imo)

i dont like saying it, but i do feel a little alienated even from ganondorf fans (i love him too!!!!!) bc they hate demise, and rightfully so, it feels weird having your main blorbo be the reason your second fav is constantly done dirty, why you cant even talk about anything critically bc 'iTs jUst a sIMpLe fAiRytALe' now and part of the reason the lore in general has gone to shit, and i dont know how much i can talk about that before i become an obnoxious 'well ACTUALLY my blorbo, who is the reason for all this, is ALSO done dirty and im gonna explain away the bad stuff via my completely noncanon reinterpretation-' guy, or if i already am what im doing with destiny is like .. my way of trying to fix it and make it interesting again? though at this point i guess im falling into the category of people who change their blorbo so much that there really isnt anythign left of the og, which worries me alot, though i wonder if thats even possible given how little there is to him in the first place, i so often see viral posts that make me feel guilty or conflicted for the way i work with media, "actually my blorbo did all those crimes and thats good you all who need to explain away the bad things are weak and annoying!!" "people who change their favs until they barely resemble the character anymore should just make an oc instead!!"-

i dont know if i take these types of posts too literally, i dont know when or how they apply, but it always circles around in my head, i know not everyone can like what you do, but i want to work with the material i have in an interesting way, not a puritanical way (or however you call that), its not in my mind every second, but it nevertheless makes me doubt what i do with my fanworks anytime i talk about them-

... this wasnt really the point of the message was it ... apologies, i hope not every ask will devolve into a sort of mini rant ;__; i dont mean to invalidate what you said, (and im not saying skyward sword is all bad, its full of charm, from characters to designs, just the lore is .. damaging) it is incredibly touching bc me or my art having a positive impact on people blindsides me every single time like "WHAT??? IMPOSSIBLE you MUST be thinking of someone else, no way i could do that", when something gets brought up my thoughts just kinda start pouring out, i thought about deleting everything i wrote, but then felt like that wouldnt be as genuine anymore (i am not normal tm after all and im long past a point pretending otherwise) and have wasted another hour for nothing, so im gonne leave it in and hope, pray even, it comes across correctly

q-q

[kimtaegis]

🌧️

[hrokkall]

Okay. Let's be a RESPONSIBLE local group this time around when creating this purposed organism. I think we went a little off the rails with the last one...

Result will go on artfight if it's not too horrendous.

EDIT: Added alt text! EDIT 2: Result!

[benkeibear]

Please don't go to my moots asking where i am / if I'll be back 🥹

I said I'm not doing okay and that I need time for myself right now and I kindly ask to respect that.

The mental health isn't mental healthing and living with bpd next to a chronic depression is hell on most days. The good days are rare atm so I need to focus on myself in order to help myself to feel better. I'm in no state to be on here and act all happy and cheerful when I contemplate admitting myself to the hospital just to stay alive a little while longer.

Next to that we have a family situation with my mom in a critical condition and I'd like to be there for my family and help where I can.

I don't want pity or anything I just thought I let you know what's really going on behind the scenes since it's apparently necessary to ask numerous mutuals when I'll be back and what not just because I haven't been online for 3 days.

As of now I don't know when I'll be back. A lovely mutual of mine will come visit in 2 weeks and we move right after. Maybe I'll be back next week, maybe in a month. Perhaps I'll just pop in for 2-3 days and disappear again. Please be patient with me, I'm trying my best to heal.

[cryptid-moose]

Some Shawn doodles feat. Gus

[fleouriarts]

feeling bad about my art lately. will probably not post for a while. but i wanted to at least dump some stuff here before i retreat into my hidey hole

[mikodrawnnarratives]

Dragon!Maggie/Princess Evie and Prince Max my beloved

the concept has my heart, has no backing in canon, and i don't care

He's her treasure hiss go away insert cat growling noises

[itischeese]

more kakaobi sketches from my last couple of sketchbooks

bonus hokage rin:

[moe-broey]

You know. Forging Bonds might be more complicated. But. If the mood strikes me. Maybe what I'll end up doing for those is just picking out the significant ones (aka Alear, Dimitri, to start. Catherine, too. Rosado OFC but that's more of a Sharena centric one, aka if I commit to that I Am Fully Committing To That. I'm probably blanking on more and there are some I may have straight up missed early on. I'm allergic to wikis. Also. I do not know why. I'll go if I fucking Have To, but ideally I am rawdogging it forvwr 👍)