#I just now realized that like I never understood what was meant by “a strong sense of justice” meant as an autistic trait

[manicpixiedreamedwins]

I’ve tried to word and reword this post at least a dozen times. I’m not sure I’ll ever quite capture what Charles means to me in one attempt, but here goes:

That scene on the side of the agency where Charles is asking Edwin what would happen if death caught them was probably the moment I decided I loved him- same hat, I thought. I have racing thoughts and fears of being separated from my loved ones too. 

Same hat.

I didn’t realize what an understatement that was. 

We made it to the Devlin house episode. As Charles talked about his favorite tape being destroyed and struggled through reading the Devlin daughter’s journal, I realized his home life wasn’t as idyllic as he’d wanted us to think. He’d been walking on eggshells- I could relate to that. Sometimes I wonder if he was afraid to tell Edwin because he thought he would love him less. (Sometimes I worry in the back of my mind if I tell anyone, things I did years ago to survive would make them love me less).

My heart went out to him.

Right after that, he must have wondered if he was losing Edwin to Monty. A tiny, tiny piece of me that grew up as no-one’s-best-friend, just-the-afterthought, understood him. I wondered if it would be worse to lose a best friend, actually, than to never have one. I am okay now. But there’s a part of you that is forever worried that you did something wrong.

And next episode his fears are heightened. We see why- he’s never thought he was enough. His home life was brutal. He had friends, but they are what killed him. Nothing he ever did was “enough”, and now he’s sure he’s losing his best friend even though he did everything he could to protect him. 

There’s something about having an abusive parent that makes it hard to scrub the feeling of “never enough” off of you. It’s no one’s fault but theirs, but all I wanted to do was hold him after that. I see why Edwin tried to reach out. 

Charles has never thought he was enough, no matter how many friends or trophies he had. Of course he went into episode five thinking he was a bad person, even though he isn’t (and I’m so glad Edwin told him, with words, he was not a bad person).

Of course he ended episode six worrying he was about to lose his best friend to a boy that just tried to kill them in the woods— or a shape shifter who trapped them in a town across the sea. 

He does lose Edwin- but not to a boy. To Hell.

So Charles braves letting the night nurse look in his mind again. This moment stood out to me as a viewer- we already saw he died because he prevented a hate crime. He tells Edwin he stepped in and stopped the attack because he’s half Indian (I could go on about how much him being biracial meant to me, but I won’t here). He says he is not that different than the boy being beaten. People are right that Edwin has a strong sense of justice- but so too does Charles. Perhaps that’s why they got on so well right away.

So he rescues Edwin from Hell after persuading The Night Nurse. And as he’s rescuing Edwin from Hell, Edwin finally, finally gets to tell Charles what he wanted to say earlier. 

Sometimes people erroneously think Edwin came out to Charles here. That wasn’t quite what happened- the larger arc people often erase in this story is that Edwin Payne confessed that he loved Charles Rowland. How couldn’t you love Charles Rowland, after all of that? 

And Charles meet him as much as he could. He does love Edwin- he just needs time to figure the rest out. But they have literally forever. And honestly, they seemed like they were off to a pretty good start once they weren’t running from a giant spider made of babydoll heads. 

So, Charles, thank you for making me feel seen. Your smile is pretty convincing. I hope you have fun growing the agency with Edwin, and I hope the afterlife is kind while you figure things out together.

[dykefruit]

Fuck dude, I finally found that quote I was looking for and I read more stuff from Rabbi Tzvi Freeman and it’s just hitting me hard. Like the one I was looking for was this:

The child naively believes that everything should be fair and everyone should be honest, that only good should prevail, that everybody should have what they want and there should be no pain or sadness. The child believes the world should be perfect and is outraged to discover it is not. And the child is right.

And like, that is one of the most important moral beliefs for me personally, and I become outraged when someone insists that believing this is naïve and a result of immaturity. Like I’m sorry you became sad and bitter, but I refuse to and I work hard every day to focus on hope and compassion and it baffles me that anyone could see that as a flaw or as something I should grow out of. I will always refuse to.

A child cannot learn something without running out and screaming it to others. And so it should be with all those who have knowledge.

This is another one that hits me hard bc I feel like sharing knowledge is one of the truest forms of love. At least for me personally. Like, when we are young our parents teach us as much as they can as fast as they can to help us grow into the best people that we can be. They love us so much that they try to share as much knowledge with us as we can learn, but why does that stop when we become older? Why do so many treat correcting false information as a personal insult and belittlement? Why do so many treat someone who shares knowledge as a braggart and assume this person must think themselves superior? I know that it is because of pride, that to be corrected damages the ego and to be taught new things makes one feel inferior. But they shouldn’t. And I am baffled and upset that they do.

And then, as the child emerges to discover that the world outside is not quite the same as that sanctuary, we will explain, "Yes, this is not the way it is supposed to be. But it is only temporary. You and I and all of us, we are going to change it. We are partners in the act of creating this world, because it is our mission to perfect it. And we are doing this now, with acts of beauty and kindness, one good deed at a time."

Is this not the entire purpose of life? Community? Society? I am so earnestly begging to not feel like I am alone, screaming this out for no one to hear.

I am not (currently) religious at all, much less Jewish, so I have no idea how I came across Rabbi Freeman’s writing, but it just speaks to me so incredibly. I’ll end this way-to-long post with one final quote from him:

A child gives love for the sake of love. But even an adult can learn to do the same.

[verxca]

⋆ ˚｡ ⋆ ୨ ♡ ୧ ⋆ ˚｡ ⋆ [ imagine #01 ]

[ j. todd ] ⋆ ˚｡ ⋆ ୨ ♡ ୧ ⋆ ˚｡ ⋆

── . ✦ in which you and jason are relaxing one cold evening, and you start to get emotional over his faded childhood memories.

“Man, look at me back then. So young n’ naive. Thought I could save the world one punch at a time." Jason remarks, shifting slightly on the red leather couch you two were seated on. One of this arms was draped over your shoulder in a protective manner, leaning in closer after every flip.

The photo book you held diligently in hand was very old, containing numerous sheets. The laminated paper itself held a number of memories from the past, in fact all of Jason in his younger years. Robin, Boy Wonder— The countless names he was given reflected the bright white smile he ported in almost every snapshot.

You turn to the next page, ever so slightly relaxing your head onto your lover’s shoulder. “Hah- Look at that one.” His calloused hand reaches forward, pointing at another prime moment of him in his costume, smiling brightly with his signature black mask on, striking a funny pose for the camera. On Jason’s side of things, all of the memories were of course bound to come back; his time as Robin - the training, the adventures, the pain. He lets out low chuckle, leaning towards the side to press a soft kiss onto your temple.

You softly traced your thumb over the photo; a moment captured forever in time, still initiating a reaction in his peers after all these years. Jay just looked so… innocent. You couldn’t even put the sentiment into words— ‘nostalgia’ would be too generous. It was more of an appreciation - a longing.

You loved him now, which meant that you loved all of him. Present, future, and even past.

It wasn’t just the sympathy you held, but also the mere knowledge about what happend in the years to come which fueled this depressing feeling. His death, of course… what kind of a monster would kill somebody as kind as this? A young boy full of hopes and dreams?

Jason was reluctant to tell you his murder’s name. He had never let it slip, and probably wouldn’t in the following months to come for the record. It was a burden too heavy to carry, and you understood that. A strong gust of cold winter snow hit the window from behind, a subtle reminder of the comfort currently held inside your place.

Sniffling, you gently grab onto the sheet, turning the page once more. Another colourful photo appeared; Jason on his 13th birthday, in the batcave standing next to the big man himself. “Babe- Are you…?”

A tear struck the paper, and it was only then that you realized you’d been crying.

Jason’s heart just shattered as a soft cry audibly escaped your lips, quickly prompting him to nuzzle impossibly close to plant another kiss onto your head. He let go of the book with his other hand, instead placing it on your knee in a comforting manner.

“Oh- Hon’…”

Embarrassed, you bring a hand up to cover your mouth and part of your nose. You didn’t cry too often— In fact, you were usually the one here to support Jay when he was upset, injured, or having another horrid nightmare. It was even odd for him to see you break down like this, all over some family photos that he’d volunteered to show you… The mere realization made his heart swell with love and slight regret.

You hiccup on your own breath, looking back down at the collage now held with one hand. “You- Y’were just so small- ” You manage to croak out, sniffling with a now quivering lip. “Yeah, I was a scrawny little shit back then. He worked me hard, but it made me who I am today." Jason attempted to lighten the mood, his advance quickly reciprocated by a recognizing smile and a shy nod on your part.

You glance over at the image once more; his eyes, his hair, that god forsaken smile… It just made you break even more, and it didn’t take Jason long to realize. He leaned forward, taking the photo album from your hand to close and to gently place on the counter.

“M’ sorry, babe- I-” You adjust your position as he leans back down, still wiping your tears with slightly shaky hands, choking on your own breath every time another small cry left your lips. Jason just paused for a moment, admiring you. His girlfriend. Crying over his own childhood photos. Now, this— this was the type of love and intimacy he’d always been craving for.

Jason leans forward, capturing your body in a tight embrace. On instinct you move up to his lap, wrapping your arms loosely around the back of his neck.

“Y’know, as much as I love that version of me, I wouldn't trade who I am now for anything. Because it led me to you."

You nod into him, showing you were listening, and he kisses your hair. The words - the photos - they may all have been hard to hear and see, but it was all in the grand a testimony to your love. That much was clear to the both of you now.

“I love you, Jay.”

“I love you too. More than’ anything.”

He murmurs in response, pressing another needed kiss to your forehead before burying his head back into your hair, inhaling the comforting and familiar scent. He knew he wasn’t the easiest person to love; with his past, and his many walls. But Jason realized now that you saw him, all of him, and you still chose to love him anyway. It was both terrifying and beautiful.

[mj0702]

The other Bronze – Pt. 20

“Keira... you okay?” Ingrid looks closely at her teammate who suddenly stopped eating.

They were out with the whole team in a small Restaurant in Barcelona – a get together if you liked. Ingrid noticed first that Keira stopped eating as she stared down at her phone and suddenly there were tears flowing. The Norwegian kept a close eye on the englishwoman seeing how much she missed young girl namely y/n Bronze.

It was unreal how you single handily turned the whole team spirit around in just a couple of weeks. Every single one of the blaugrana Team was a fan of you in some sort. Keira and Lucy obviously – they had the family connection. Alexia felt protective of you the second she laid eyes on you when you insulted that guy in the most filthy spanish someone could come up with – courtesy of her own girlfriend Mapí. For Mapí you were the little sister she never had – together with Pina and Patri the four of you meant indescribable trouble. Ingrid and Caro where a little more careful with you – both of them more on the calmer side they haven't had interacted with you much but what they saw made them see you in a different light. You were young, yes – but you also were determent and strong headed. Irene and Marta immediately adopted you guiding you a little from the background with gentle soft touches and encouraging words. Aitana was intimidated by you at first but the second you threw out catalan she wanted you near her all the time to see what else you could learn. Ona saw you as her girlfriends sister but also as a growing up young woman who needed her space and guidance at the same time. So it made everyones alarm bells scream seeing Keira cry. No one expected it to be happy tears.

Keira watched the video at least another four times before she handed her phone wordlessly to Lucy who looked at her confused

“Just watch it Lucy” the blonde sniffled smiling through her tears

“What am I watching?” your sister asked a little suspicious Ona already shuffling closer wanted to get a look as well

“For fuck sakes Bronze... just press play” Keira snapped at her ex who immediately pressed play with such a force she nearly threw the phone into the olives

It didn't even take two seconds for Lucy to realize what she's watching and she let the phone fall onto the table stunned

“It's not” Lucy looked at Keira shocked tears in her eyes

“What is going on??” now Mapí asked annoyed “... everyone is starting crying”

“Is everything okay?” Alexia asked getting a little concerned for her teammates

“Yeah... everything is better than okay” Keira smiled

“Then why is everyone crying?” Mapí asked confused

“Happy tears Maps... these are happy tears” Keira answered smiling

“Then why is everyone happy crying?” the tattooed girl asked getting even more confused

“Y/n picked up a ball... on her own” Lucy said her voice uncharacterically flat

“Lucy..” Keira immediately understood why your sister reacted that way

“... scuse me for a second.. I need some air” your sister already shoved her chair back nearly running out of the restaurant

“Go after her” Keira said to Ona “... she needs you now”

“What? Why? What happened” the young catalan asked confused

“Just... go” the blonde basically shoved Ona to go after Lucy who thankfully got the message and stumbled after her girlfriend

“Let's start where Ona left off... what happened?” Alexia asked and suddenly all the eyes were on Keira

“Georgia just send me a video of Bitsy playing with a football – on her own... she did upsies and tricks like she never stopped playing” Keira explained setting her phone up pressing play

Everyone looked mesmerized at the little screen – at you controlling the ball like no one they've ever seen

“This is...” Alexia was at loss for words “... I've never seen anything like this... ever”

“Told you the Nena is out of this world” Mapí announced proudly “Mi Nena”

“But... this is good right?” Ingrid asked looking at Keira

“It is...” the blonde nodded

“Then why is Lucy...” Caro asked looking at the restaurant door like Lucy would magically appear

“Three and a half years we waited for that... the amounts of fights we had because of it – because we weren't sure if we should give her a little push or not... you all saw what happened when Mapí caught her off guard...” the blonde started but got interrupted by Maps

“... I'm still very sorry” the tattooed woman said ashamed

“... it wasn't you fault Maps... but you all saw what happened.... and NOW... after three and a half years... she picks up a ball.. in Munich... at her girlfriends trainings ground...” Keira kept going

“Lucia is hurt” Alexia mumbled and Keira nodded

“But why? It's amazing that Nena plays again... Ale you have to talk to all them big people you know... we can't lose her to england... or worse... Madrid!!” Mapí said shocked her eyes wide

“María...” Ingrid started gently smiling a little “... lille venn can't play anymore remember?”

“But... she just did” the tattooed girl pointed at Keiras phone

“And neither Lucia nor Keira where there to experience it first hand” the norwegian said softly knowing her girlfriend didn't mean any harm she just... was slow sometimes.

“Oh... OH... that sucks... I'm sorry Keira” Mapí bursted out looking apologetic in Keiras direction

“It's okay Maps... I expected it to be honest... In Munich no one knows who she is...” the blonde said but Alexia, Ingrid, Irene and Marta didn't miss the hurt undertone in their teammates voice

“Can we do anything to help Luce?” the tattooed spaniard asked

“No... she needs to work through it on her own” the blonde shook her head

“Then why did you send Ona after her?” Ingrid wondered

“She's complex.. she needs to work on it on her own but at the same time she needs someone there... someone who she trust... who she can break in front” Keira said “... so... dessert anyone?”

And with this the topic of you picking up a ball was history. At least inside – outside was a different story

“Amor” Ona carefully tried to approach Lucy carefully

“No... I need... I need space... I need to breath” your sister said upset roaming the pavement in front of the restaurant

“Okay... I'll be just here if you need me” the young catalan said calmly pointing to one of the window sills sitting down on it

Lucy roamed for another 10 minutes before she suddenly stopped looking at Ona

“Three and a half years...” your sister blurted out “... three and a half years... I waited three and a half years...” before she started roaming again

Ona just kept quiet waited for her girlfriend to continue to rant and get it off her chest

“... and she has the AUDACITY to pick up a ball in Munich... MUNICH!!!” Lucy ranted angrily “... In front of Georgia Stanway!!”

“Lucy..” Ona said softly

“I was there... every step of the way... I held her when she had nightmares... I picked her up when she did more than her knees could handle and she fell.. I cooked for her even tho she never eaten more than a spoon full... I drove her to rehab sessions and picked her up... I took her to camp with me because I was scared she'd do something stupid if I leave her alone... where was Georgia all the time?” your sister just kept talking “... she was no where to be seen... and now she gets to be there when y/n decides to pick up a ball again... she gets to witness something Keira and I worked for three and a half years?”

“Lucy... amor” Ona tried again keeping her voice soft and calm

“She doesn't DESERVE it to witness that!!” Lucy exploded and Ona knew now was the time to interfere

“Amor... mi vida” the young catalan said her voice low as she pushed herself off the window sill going over to her girlfriend and just pulled Lucy into a hug

Just as she expected Lucy broke down crying the second she felt the arms of her girlfriend tighten around her shoulders

“It's just...” Lucy cried into Onas neck pulling her even closer

“I know... “ the catalan said softly “... but it looked like she didn't know Georgia was there”

“But why does G get to witness that? Why wasn't I there?” your sister hick-upped “I should've been there...”

“I don't think Georgia was meant to witness that...” Ona said her heart breaking a little bit when she heard her girlfriend crying into her shirt

“But she did” Lucy cried not knowing how to deal with the situation “She got to see it”

“Let us go home okay... lets just get some rest” the catalan whispered already pulling out her phone to text Alexia

“We can't... the team” your sister pulled back a little bit trying to contain her tears and sadness

“They'll understand...” Ona said softly “... let me just text Ale... they can take our stuff to and bring it to training tomorrow”

“Thank you” Lucy mumbled holding onto her girlfriend for dear life

Back in Munich you didn't have a clue of your sister breakdown – you were laying happily on your girlfriends couch. Maybe a little too happy.

“Baby... are you okay?” Georgia asked raising her eyebrow at you where you laid on top of her your head on her chest

“Sí” you giggled “muy bien... todo bien”

“Okay...” your girlfriend looked at you confused “... care to switch back to english?”

“No parlo anglès” you giggled pushing your nose against her chest

“Oh fuck me...” Georgia sighed out “... ehrm... wait... who do I know who speaks english AND spanish....”

“El castellà és una llengua bonica...i dones boniques” you giggled

“Tainara” your girlfriend suddenly exclaimed angling for her phone from the side table calling her teammate while you continued to giggle into her chest

“Yeah George?” Tainara answered the phone after the second ring

“Sorry to call you this late... but my... friend... something is not okay with her and she speaks something language I don't understand and... can you help?” Georgia rambled

“Sure... put her on.. I try to help” Gs teammate answered

“y/n... my teammate wants to talk to you” your girlfriend pushed her phone into your face for you to take it

“Hola... qui ets?” you asked wondering

“Oooookay... give me back to Georgia please... you understand english right?” Tainara said

“Sí...” you giggled handing the phone back to your girlfriend

“Yeah?” Georgia asked carefully

“That's spanish you muppet” the Brazilian woman said flatly

“And?” your girlfriend asked confused

“I'm from Brazil” her teammate exclaimed

“Again... and?” Georgia didn't understand what the problem was

“I don't speak spanish... I speak Portuguese” Tainara said a little offended

“Okay look... it kinda sounds the same to me” your girlfriend said ashamed “... so you can't help me?”

“No you asshat... and you owe me a big ass lunch for saying spanish and Portuguese sound the same” Tainara grumbled “... Ana is Colombian... they speak spanish”

“Thank you... god bless your Portuguese soul” Georgia sighed in relieve as she was about to hang up

“I'M FROM BRAZIL!!” you heard yelling from the phone as the call disconnected which caused a new round of giggles

“Hang in there Baby... I'm getting help” your girlfriend mumbled holding you closer to her calling another number

“Yeh?” a tired voice answered after some rings

“Ana? That you?” Georgia asked a little desperate

“Yes? You called me.. G.. if you interrupted my nap by accident” Ana said getting fed up already

“No no... my... friend... she speaks spanish even tho she doesn't speak spanish... I already called Tainara but she couldn't help... and I need help to understand her” your girlfriend rambled again

“Ay dios...” you heard from the phone and it made you perk up

“Uh... I think she understood that... here... talk to her and find out what's going on” Georgia immediately catched on your change of behaviour and once again pressed the phone into your hand

“Hola?” you asked giggling

“Hola chica... cómo estás?” Georgias teammate asked you

“Soy buena y tu?” you giggled

“Bien gracias... Entoces qué te pasa?” Ana asked trying to figure out what's wrong with you

“res per què?” you answered confused

“Puedes devlverme a G por favor?” the Colombian asked

“Sí cap problema” you smiled even tho Ana couldn't see it handing the phone back to your girlfriend

“And?” Georgia asked hopefully

“Yeah I can't help you...” her teammate said nonchalantly

“Why?? She speaks spanish.. you speak spanish... bam... help me” your girlfriend said lost

“I would help if that WAS spanish... that's catalan... I can understand bits of accents away from other spanish but catalan? no... sorry...” Ana said apologetic

“Ugh... fuck meeee...” Georgia whined “... you have any idea who I could call? I just want to know what's going on?”

“Ehrm... my best guess... someone from Catalonia?” the Colombian offered and started to chuckle

“Great help....” your girlfriend said flatly “... I don't know anyone from there”

“Isn't your best friend from Barcelona?” Ana mused

“KEIRA!!! YES!!!” Georgia exclaimed suddenly sitting up quickly which resulted in you getting squished into her torso “You're a godsend Ana... see you tomorrow... good nap!!”

Georgia quickly hung up the call immediately dialling Keiras number waiting nervously for her best friend to pick up

“Hey G...” Keira finally answered and Georgia could hear laughter and voices in the background

“Keiraaaaaa.... heeeeey...” your girlfriend greeted Keira sounding like a maniac

“Oh god... what happened? Is Bitsy okay? Are you okay? Are you both okay?” Keira immediately knew something was off her mind already painting the most worrying pictures

“Yeah yeah we're good... kinda” Georgia said quickly

“Kinda?” her best friend repeated confused

“Yeah you see... we're here... in Munich... on me couch...” your girlfriend started feeling you giggle against her stomach

“I hope for your sakes that you really are” Keira growled her alarm bells screaming “God save the King”

“We are... but... something is not right with y/n... she's all... giggle-y... and...” Georgia confessed embarrassed

“Aaaaand?” her best friend asked her patience low

“ShespeakingspanishandIdon'tunderstandherhelp” your girlfriend mumbled quickly

“Again?” Keira asked confused not knowing if she heard correctly

“For some reason she's speaking spanish and I don't... so... help? Please?” Georgias voice was high

“Why is she speaking spanish?” Keira asked confused

“I don't know... she just started speaking spanish out of nowhere and I tried to solve the problem by asking me teammates but apparently Portuguese is not spanish and even the one who apparently speaks spanish didn't understand spanish... useless the lot of them I tell ya” your girlfriend huffed “... so... help?”

“Oh god... why... why did you two find each other... I'm 27... I'm having GREY hair G... GREY!!!” Keira exclaimed upset

“It's not like anyone would notice between them ginger ones” Georgia shrugged her shoulders

“Georgia Marie Stanway!” her best friend scolded her “... ugh... just get Bitsy on the phone”

“Hey Baby... Keira...” and for a third time that night the phone was shoved in your face

“Sí?” you tried your hardest to sound as normal as possible knowing Keira would catch on and then you were in trouble

“Hey Bitsy... you alright?” Keira cooed sweetly

“Estic perfectamente bé... per què?” you answered honestly and a small snort made it out

“Oh dear jesus lord in heaven” you heard Keira huff “Alexia... mind doing me a favor?”

“What's the matter?” you heard the Barca capitana asked

“Here... your Cariño is on some kind of drug and now she speaks catalan... you are catalan... fix it...” Keira said as she passed the phone to her friend

“Holi Cariño?!” Alexia said a little confusion in her voice

You only squeaked before you threw the phone across the room – even in your current state you knew you were in SO much trouble if Alexia gets involved

“Hey... don't throw me phone!” Georgia exclaimed shocked

“Ho sento” you mumbled trying to push your face deeper into Georgias body hiding from the world

“Baby.... I don't understand you... I just want to help” your girlfriend begged you “... let me go so I can go get me phone?”

“No” you whined holding tighter onto Georgia

“Baby... please” G tried to pry your arms off her “... me phone”

“No necessities el teu phone” you mumbled but your grip loosened a little bit which Georgia used to pushed herself out under you quickly walking to pick up her phone

“Keira?” she asked hoping her friend didn't hung up

“No... Alexia” the other person answered

“Jesus fuck” Georgia sweared throwing her phone a little further away before running after it picking the phone up again “... ehrm... sorry... that was... quiet the surprise... big fan”

“Georgia sí?” Alexia asked trying to keep a clear head

“Yes... that's me” your girlfriend nodded even tho nobody could see it

“Okay... what's wrong with mi Cariño?” the spaniard asked still trying to figure out what is happening

“You mean y/n?” Georgia asked confused

“Yes... y/n... Bronze... the small Bronze” Alexia answered losing her patience already

“I... don't know... we were laying on the couch doing.... nothing.. and she started giggling and speaking spanish... I don't speak spanish... she doesn't speak spanish... so I need help... please” your girlfriend explained once again

“Okay... I can work with that... put me on speaker” the Barca capitana instructed

“Okay... sure... ehrm... wait...” Georgia said before pushing the speaker button “... you're on speaker, Miss Putellas”

“Hola Cariño” Ale said ignoring Georgias rambling

“Ale... Com estás?” you giggled

“Estic bé i tu?” the spaniard asked hearing you speaking catalan surprising her

“Sóc genial” you exclaimed happily

“Per què parles català?” Alexia smiled to herself

“Perquè puc” you grinned proudly “Digues bonmatí”

“Ah, doncs li hauria de dir a l'Aitana?” the blonde spaniard chuckled “... per què hauria de fer això”

“Aitana estarà orgullosa” you said wholeheartly

“Oh but I'm proud of you too....” Alexia said softly “... so tell me mi Cariño... why are you speaking catalan?”

“Ona taught me” you said like it was the most obvious thing on the world

“Ona?” the spaniard asked completely at loss

“Yes... the friendly spaniard” you nodded quickly

“And we're back with the nicknames” Alexia sighed “... want to tell me about your day Cariño?”

“Uh... didn't do anything special.. we had breakfast... VERY good Avo-toast... you spaniards could learn to make Avo-toasts... it's not that hard you know... it's avow.. and toast...” you started to recap your day getting distracted

“Cari.... after breakfast” Alexia stressed

“... oh yeah... we went to this garden... not the bad one where I'm not allowed to go anymore... the nice garden... babe... what's the nice garden called” you got distracted again

“... Englischer Garten... english garden” your girlfriend provided thankful you're speaking english again

“That one... you should come visit pretty spaniard” you giggled “... they have beautiful trees... cherry trees... and this little tent-thingy”

“Cari... focus” the blonde spaniard pressed

“uh... then we went for lunch... just a small one... I had....” you looked at Georgia for help again

“Wurstsalat” Georgia threw in

“... that... it's like sliced sausage with vinegar and onions and pickles and it's really good... oh and you eat it with bread” you giggled again

“Cariño por favor..” the Barca woman groaned

“... then we went home for a nap... and G overslept so we didn't have time for coffee because we had to take public transport to training... G lost her license you know – she drove like a cunt and got a nice picture of it... expensive picture” you just kept talking ignoring Alexias groaning and Georgias shocked face “... we made it to training and they had just a light session I got a bit bored and fell asleep... after training we went home and I cooked...”

“What did you cook Cari?” Alexia perked up

“Penne all'Amatriciana.... it's pasta with beef... or... vedella” you said proudly

“Hm... sounds delicious... how did you prepare the beef Cariño?” the spaniard suspected something specific

“You need to season the filet beforehand... just salt and a little bit of pepper” you started to explain happily and Alexia let you talk “... heat the frying pan to basically volcano and then throw the filet in there... fry fry fry... and than deglaze it with a good dash of red....”

“Red?” Alexia and Georgia asked at the same time

“Yes... don't worry... the alcohol goes all poof with the heat of the pan... no alcohol left in the meat... but it gives it some amazing flavour...” you waved off “... then you throw in the cooked pasta, some fresh tomatoes, basil and parmesan”

“Red wine?” the blonde spaniard clarified

“Sí” you said again

“I don't even have red wine in me flat” your girlfriend exclaimed shocked

“Stole it from Lucy.. she has a whole ass wine rack she didn't even noticed I packed it... got it through camp as well” you answered proudly

“Ay dios mio” you heard Alexia through the phone “Cariño... did you have a sip from the wine?”

“Maaaaaaybe a little” you sing songed

“Ay dios” the spaniard huffed out “how many sips did you have Cari?”

“Just a few” you grinned

“Georgia... look for that bottle” Alexia instructed and immediately sprinted into the kitchen “Cari... why did you take the red wine form Lucia”

“She doesn't need it... she didn't even know what she had there... it was a Vega Sicilia” you said getting upset

“That's a very good wine” the spaniard mused trying to keep you calm “... you have good taste Cari”

“Bottle is half empty” Georgia panted coming sprinting back in “you drank half a bottle of wine?”

“Nooooo...” you giggled “... I put some in the pan too... like... two dashes”

“Oh god...” your girlfriend whined “Miss Putellas...”

“You can call her pretty spaniard... she doesn't care” you interrupted grinning

“Please don't” Alexia exclaimed “Alexia is just fine”

“Please don't tell Keira y/n is drunk... I swore I look after her” Georgia begged

“I'm not drunk” you said seriously

“Cari... you are drunk... but some sleep will fix this, hm?” the blonde hummed

“But I'm not tired” you said confused

“Oh but you are... you told me” Alexia lied hoping you would fall for it

“Oooooh yeah... true... baby I'm tired... I'm going to bed okay” you nodded seriously tossing the phone at your girlfriend swaying in the general direction of the bedroom

“What... where.. huh?” your girlfriend watched as you made it through the open door face planting onto the bed

“You're welcome” Alexia said before she hung up

“Crazy... all of them are crazy” Georgia shook her head

“Ugh” you groaned next morning when you felt Georgias fingertips dance across your ribcage

“Morning drunky” your girlfriend chuckled behind you nuzzling into the back of your neck

“Not drunky” you mumbled closing your eyes again protecting them from the far to bright light in the room

“Oh you so were drunk” Georgia chuckled pressing a soft kiss to your neck

“Was not” you groaned again

“You spoke catalan” your girlfriend pointed out and THAT made you shoot up into a sitting position – which turned out not to be a good idea since you immediately got hit with nausea and headache.

“How do you know I spoke catalan... I don't even speak catalan” you looked at Georgia panicked

“Oh but you do... you had a whole ass conversation with Alexia Putellas...” your girlfriend said as she laid on her back her arms stretched above her head

“Alexia??” you screeched

“Look... I got worried... you were all giggly and strange and you spoke a language I didn't understand... I asked me teammates for help but even they couldn't help... so I called Keira..” your girlfriend explained

“Keira??” you screeched even higher

“Yeah... she couldn't help so she put Alexia on the phone.. she helped...” Georgia shrugged her shoulders sitting up now “... she even got you to go to bed”

“Oh fuck me G... that's bad... so SO bad” you whined

“Why... you had a little wine... geez when I was your age I literally tubed beer” your girlfriend said trying to calm you down

“Do you realize what Ale will do with me once I'm back in Barc... I'm simply never going back to Barcelona... easy...” you started to whine before you just had THE idea

“Yeah well... I don't think Lucy will let that happen” Georgia scratched the back of her neck embarrassed

“We just ignore her...” you looked pleadingly at the blonde

“I still have to play with her in the national team... and you have to go to camps too now since you signed a contract” your girlfriend pointed out killing your plan with her stupid logic

“Ah fuck” you groaned and let yourself fall backwards onto the bed again

“Baby.... it's not that bad....” Georgia tried again

“You wanna tell Lucy I got drunk on red wine?” you raised your eyebrow in challenge

“We just pay Keira and Alexia to never ever breath a word of that” your girlfriend quickly said seeing what you meant

“Mhm... thought so” you mumbled

“Okay... I have training this morning and fitness in the afternoon... you wanna join or stay here?” Georgia looked down at you

“I want to die.... that headache is going to kill me” you whined which made G chuckle

“I'll get you some water and paracetamol” your girlfriend said before pressing a kiss to your head and stood up

“And a bagel... I want a bagel... with bacon....” you yelled after her

When Georgia returned with the bottle of water and two pills you were dead asleep again

“Guess you won't join training then” the blonde mumbled smiling walking towards the bathroom to take her shower and get herself ready for the day

You woke up two hours later to a quiet flat. You groaned again rolling over to your other side seeing the water bottle and the pills laying on your nightstand.

“Every time I think I can't fall more for her she pulls some shit and I fall even harder” you mumble to yourself swallowing the pills with a large gulp of water

“Ugh... I hate pills” you shuddered but made it slowly out of bed dragging yourself into the kitchen where you found a post it on the coffeemashine and one on the fridge

“Press “an”... who the fuck is Ann?” you read loudly looking at the coffeemashine like it offended your whole family

“... oh... there... button... an...” you pressed the button and the machine started to come to life “.... oh cool...” you shrugged your shoulders

“... when all the lights are on... press “Kaffee”...” you read again looking for the right button

“uh... that thing can make Cappuccino” you said excited pressing on that button instead of Kaffee

The machine started to grind the beans – which did wonders for your headache – but THEN it made weird noises. Like it was dying.

“Oooooh no no no no no” you said in panic “... stop dying.... just coffee... you already started the coffee... just... put it in the cup... here... it's a nice cup... look... it's from here actually... it's a Bayern Munich cup... you like Munich right... you live here”

You spoke to the coffeemaker like it would actually answer you but it continued to make weird sounds so you decided to try a different approach

“If I now press Kaffee... will you stop dying... please?” you looked at the machine pleadingly before hitting the coffee button over and over again

“Please... stop dying... G will kill me if I kill you” you said desperately but it was no use

“Okay... we gonna approach that rationally... you had a good life... I'm gonna pull the plug now” you said and pulled the cable out of the socket with closed eyes – immediately the machine stopped “dying” and you sighed in relieve

“Okay... so no to coffee... new plan... get a shower... get ready... go coffee” you mumbled to yourself already leaving the kitchen for the bathroom

30 minutes later you checked your pockets if you have everything before pulling the door shut going down the stairs and step outside into the beautiful Munich sunshine. You had no clue where you were or where you needed to go so you just played eene meeny mooh and then turned right to follow the street. On the next occasion you turned right following an important looking sign hoping for some sightseeing. Again you followed the sign on the next traffic light as it pointed to the left. You took some pictures on your phone on the way being absolutely mesmerized by the buildings you passed in awe. You followed the road for some time until you discovered the next sign telling you to go left and suddenly you stood in front of a big building... with a lot of cars inside. It dawned on you - you just followed a Carpark sign. You were very disappointed at this point. So you decided to walk along the carpark building until you were back on a bigger road. You totally winged this Munich tour.

You followed the bigger road until you spotted a group of Asian people who looked like they were getting a city tour with a guide. So you decided to just go with that group since the guide apparently knew what she was doing. After some short stops at some buildings you were absolutely not interested in you found yourself at a place you reconized from being here with Georgia before – the Viktualienmarkt. It was a beautiful big market place where you could basically get everything. Fresh fruit and vegetables. Honey and Bee products. Wine (slight heave) and Beer. Good food. Nice people. Everything in one place. That also was the moment you realized you had no money on you. Which sucked big time since you got quite hungry with your exploring. You pulled out your phone to see five missed calls. When you pulled them calls up you saw two from your girlfriend, one from Keira, one from Lucy and one from an unknown number. So you decided to call your girlfriend back first and to your surprise she answered after the second ring. Which was VERY unusual for Georgia since you normally needed four tries to get her on the phone

“Baby.. where are you... I came home half an hour ago with you gone... are you okay?” your girlfriend spoke quickly and her voice showing her increased stress level

“I'm alright... I'm at the big market place...” you said confused

“Big market pla... love... where the fuck are you?” Georgia said even more confused that you were

“You know... where you took me when I visited the first time... where you can buy all that bee stuff in that little corner shop on the market” you tried to explain since you didn't want to make a fool out of yourself for pronouncing the places name wrong

“I have NO idea where you are... wait... look for someone nice and let me talk to them” your girlfriend tried so hard to figure out were you where

“Okay... wait” you looked around until you spotted someone familiar – it was the nice waitress from the breakfast place G took you to yesterday so you approached her carefully

“Ehrm... excuse me?” you lightly tapped her shoulder

“Ja?” the nice blonde turned around “Oh hi... I remember you... you had the two avocado toasts yesterday with your friends”

“Actually just one... the other one my friend ate before I could grab a bite... that bottomless bitch...” you said still a sore topic for you “... I... need help... could you please help...?”

“Dinara...” the woman offered smiling friendly “... and of course – what's the problem”

“I... got... kinda lost?” you said embarrassed holding your phone up “... me.. friend is on the phone but she's too thick to figure out where I am so can you please tell her..?”

“Oh my god of course” Dinara laughed as she took your phone “Hi? So your friend is at Viktualienmarkt just opposite Chicos Saftbar... at the golden chicken”

“Oh god thank you so much” you heard the relieved sigh of your girlfriend through your phone “I know you probably have better things to do but... could you maybe keep an eye on her... or chain her to one of the lampposts so she can't run off again? Either way is fine”

“Excuse me??” you exclaimed upset “... tying me to a post?? The fuck you think you are – you ain't Luce”

“Depends on how long you need to get here...” the blonde woman said amused at your outburst

“Half an hour max... I'm already on me way” Georgia said panting as she was jogging down the street to the next tramway

“Yeah I can do that... I'll take her to Café Schmalznudel” the nice helpfully blonde said still grinning at your behaviour since you retreated to grumble to yourself about getting tied up to a post

“Thank you so SO much” your girlfriend said as she got onto the tramway towards the city centre

“No problem...” Dinara smiled as she tugged on your sleeve so you would follow her “... I know how it is to get lost in Munich”

“Where we going? I'll have you know I have a lots of friends who will come looking for you if you murder me” you said but still walked after the blonde

“I was about to get you some coffee and some delicious pastry but since you accused me of being a murderer you can sit and watch me eat and have my coffee” the blonde said sweetly

“That's literally letting me starve... I didn't get coffee this morning because me gi... friend... friend decided to get a coffeemaker you need a fucking PhD for and then I got lost...” you deadpanned as the blonde woman shoved you into a small shop where it smelled deliciously

“Are you always this dark and twisted sarcastic?” Dinara asked interested

“Yes... got it from... I wanted to say my family but they're not like me... in terms of fun... they're all very humourless.. except for me sister... she has her moments... they're rare but she has them” you mused “... she's trying”

“Okay...” the blonde laughed “... what do you want... I recommend the Dampfnudel” she said as she pointed to one of the trays

“What's that?” you looked interested

“It's a yeast dough with a plum marmalade filling... very tasty” D explained “... or there we have Auszogne...”

“Uh.. I had that before... they're amazing” you looked at the pastry your mouth watering “I want them all”

“You literally will puke if you eat everything... so let's settle for one and you can come back with your friend another time” the blonde said

“Gibberish gibberish dare” you looked at her straight in the eye grumbling

“What?” the young woman looked at you confused

“It's... Swedish? Danish? Cold countryish for “you're mean”...” you said huffing a little

“Have it your way... I'm going to order now” the blonde shrugged her shoulders turning around to the guy behind the counter starting to order

“I take that yeast thingy” you interrupted from behind her

“Und eine Dampfnudel mit... what coffee?” the woman said half turning to you

“Do you guys know what a cappuccino is?” you asked carefully

“We're a European country and closer to Italy than the UK... yes we know what a cappuccino is” the woman said rolling her eyes “... und einen Cappuccino bitte”

20 minutes later your girlfriend bursted through the front door looking around panicked before she spotted you speed walking over

“What the hell were you thinking???” your girlfriend said panting

“I was thinking about getting a coffee” you looked at her confused

“I... I.. what?” Georgia looked at you in disbelieve “... coffee?”

“Yes... you know... that black liquid that brings you back to life” you chewed on your pastry as you heard your new friend snort beside you

“I have a perfectly fine coffeemaker at home” your girlfriend exclaimed

“Had... I think it dead” you looked at her innocently and G couldn't do anything than look at you flabbergasted

“So... as lovely as this interaction was... I need to get to work” Dinara suddenly exclaimed and stood up

“What do I owe you... wait... you paid for her stuff right?” Georgia started to ramble and rummaged through her pockets “... here... 50 Euros.... 10 for the food the rest for having to deal with her”

“No needs... she is a delight once she's fed and caffeinated” the blonde waitress laughed and pushed Georgias hand back denying the money

“No really... I can't thank you enough... god knows where she would've ended up” your girlfriend tried to give Dinara the money again

“It's okay... just... put one past Coll for the girls who look up to you” Dinara smiled winked and pushed past Georgia leaving the small place leaving Georgia behind looking confused

“You think she'll come back for the rest of her pastry?” you quipped up behind your girlfriend eyeing the piece interested

“Honestly Baby... what where you thinking? You don't know the City, you don't know the language you didn't even knew where you were” Georgia whisper yelled after she sat down opposite to you

“Look... you were gone when I woke up... I tried to make coffee the machine died... yes, I don't know the city or where I was... but I'm not five... and for the language barrier.. you don't speak german either” you said back your voice low “... you won't believe it Georgia Stanway but people speak english and I found out pretty quickly that the people here are actually pretty helpful if you just ask nicely and be polite”

“I know that... I got scared okay... I know you're not five... but I came home and you were gone and you didn't answer your phone...” your girlfriend said calmly and you saw how she tried to keep herself calm too

“I didn't hear it because it was on silent” you sneered back “What is the big deal?”

“The big deal is that I started to call hospitals because I thought someone knocked you out” Georgia said and you saw how she lost her patience

“G... I can look out for myself.. did it for years” you snapped at her

“Let's go home okay... we can talk about it but we're in public” your girlfriend sighed

But you wouldn't be a Bronze if you wouldn't have the treat of stubbornness

“YOU can go home... I'll use the credit card I stole from Lucy and buy myself a flight to....” you stopped thinking a second “... Manchester”

“Baby please...” Georgia pleaded trying to take your hand but you pulled it away

“No...” you sneered “... don't touch me”

“I won't let you run... and if you run I'll follow you” your girlfriend said her voice low “I can't let you run.. I love you”

Your head snapped up and you looked at her shocked

“You... never said that” you whispered out

“I love you... I got so so scared when I got home...” Georgia said carefully taking your hand and this time you let her “... I told you before I can't and don't want to imagine a world without you... so when you were gone I panicked”

“I'm sorry...” you mumbled “... but honestly it's your coffeemakers fault”

“You pressed another button didn't you” your girlfriend smirked

“It offered cappuccino” you defended yourself

“It can also make cappuccino... if you fill up the milk tank” Georgia said grinning

“I love you too” you mumbled as you let your girlfriend pull you out of the chair

“I know... if you didn't you would be at the airport already” Georgia pulled you into her side pressing a subtle kiss to your temple

“Baby??” you heard your girlfriend call from the kitchen

“Yeah?” you yelled back from the spot on the couch

“Pernille asked if we want to join them for dinner tonight?” Georgia said as she leans against the doorframe of the living room

“Yeah why not...” you said distracted “... what the hell am I watching? There are naked people.. it's freaking daytime”

“Would you be able to whip up a desert? I hate coming empty handed and wine isn't an option this time” your girlfriend asked already texting her teammate back “And what are you watching?”

“How the fuck should I know... I understand fuck all” you exclaimed pointing at the TV with the remote control in your hand

“Oh god... you found the trash TV channel...” Georgia groaned after she threw a quick look at the screen

“That isn't normal trash... that... offensive trash” you exclaimed watching how two police officers start a yelling match with two naked people “What they yelling about?”

“Erregung öffentlichen Ärgernisses...” your girlfriend said distracted still on the phone texting Pernille “... public outrage”

“Yeah I bet... I would be outraged if I see naked people buying a newspaper in broad daylight” you snorted and kept watching how the police officers tried to reason with the nakeys

“Didn't Ella and you once walked naked into Old Trafford?” Georgia asked looking at you expectantly

“THAT was a dare...” you pointed out tilting your head trying to make sense out of the scene that was displayed on screen

“Baby... about that desert” your girlfriend asked again

“Yes I'll whip something up” you said absent still not believing what you see on TV

“Thank you” Georgia pressed a kiss to your head as she walked passed “... I advice to change the show.. it's not getting better”

“It's kinda fascinating....” you said in awe

“No it's not.. it's trash TV” your girlfriend snorted as she started to pack for her afternoon fitness session “You're going to join in?”

“I'll join... but not in” you grinned “Just let me look how long the thingy takes I want to make for the wine replacement”

“I can bring wine... but you won't having any” Georgia grinned as she threw a second kit into her bag knowing fully well you're gonna join in at some point

“I would need about two hours... do we have that much time?” you looked up from your phone where you googled the receipt

“Sure... training ends around 5... I can get you an Uber so you can go home earlier and get a head start” your girlfriend shrugged her shoulders

“You won't let me use public right?” you asked hopefully

“Yeah no... even I get lost sometimes with all them trains and tramways and undergrounds and busses...” Georgia shook her head

“Can someone else drive me? Uber is always so awkward” you whined

“You can ask Alex... he should still be in doing... whatever managers do in their offices... maybe he can drive you” your girlfriend offered

“Sounds good” you grinned knowing exactly how you would get the Trainer to agree driving you back to Georgias apartment

Georgia was right of course. As soon as you walked into the locker room Jill pounced on you talking your ear off while making you promise you would join in the gym. You tried to get out of it by saying you didn't have anything gym appropriate as you get hit in the face by a shirt and some short. Your girlfriend grinned widely at you as you shot her a dirty look which made most of the team laugh. So you changed into the kit Georgia threw at you which resulted in G looking smug and Magda rolling her eyes

“What?” you grumbled at the swede

“Wearing her number? Want to make it anymore obvious?” Magda said her voice low

“She my friend and the only Lioness here... as well as the best friend of one of the women who raised me AND a good friend of my sister...” you answered automatically

“Knew that speech by heart do you?” the blonde swede grinned

“You know how often I had to say that to the newbies at Camp?” you rolled your eyes as you pulled some shoes on “... dear jesus... whose shoes are that?”

“Your... friends” Magda chuckled emphasizing the “friend”

“Bitch...” you grumbled before looking up at the swede “... what's your shoe size?”

“Ehrm... 40” the swede answered

“What's that in UK size?” you looked confused

“7” Pernille answered as she walked past have followed your conversation with half an ear

“Why do you guys have such hobbit feet?” you groaned looking around “Anyone shoes in 8.5?”

You were met with stunned silence. You looked for help at Pernille who looked at her teammates

“42/43 anyone?” the Danish asked into the round but was met with just head shakes “Sorry Søde... looks like you have to go barefoot”

“Barefoot my ass” you grumbled as you walked out of the room and straight into the managers office “Alex... what's your shoe size”

“Ehrm... 43” the norwegian Trainer answered bewildered

“Perfect... give me your shoes” you demanded and pointed at his NIKE Free Metcon5

“Excuse me?” the brown haired man looked at you

“You're players are annoying and now I have to go to the gym with them but they all have mini feet and I don't... so I need shoes... you have me size.. so give me your shoes” you explained

“What's the magic word?” the Norwegian grinned

“Please” you rolled your eyes annoyed

“See... not so hard...” he grinned as he threw his shoes over to you “oh by the way... Ingrid Engen says hi... you better not tell us Barca secrets or she sees herself in the position of taking actions against you you won't like”

“Pff.... Princess Norwegian is far to nice to do something...” you waved off as you pulled the shoes on

“Engen? Probably.... Graham-Hansen on the other side... wouldn't want to piss her off” the man smirked

“You know... if you want me to help you poke Barcas ego... you're not doing a good job in convincing me” you said tilting your head

“I want to win” the Norwegian said confident

“Against Barca?” you laughed out in disbelieve

“Yes...” he nodded curtly

“You know I'm not a bullshitter.... and you have a good team... but defeating Barca? They will have to have a REALLY bad day...” you said honestly tying the laces “... they have everything... Forwards who are constantly on fire... a blazing midfield... and don't get me started on the backline”

“You got the Lionesses to win against Spain” the man pointed out as he leaned back in his chair his white socks shining under his table

“And I have a contract with the Lionesses... I can't help you... officially” you said smirking slightly “... but if I by pure accident write down some plays and weak Barca links and lose them and you find them by chance...”

“Coincidence” the Norwegian shrugged smirking as well

“Pure accident....” you grinned “... I'll have it ready by tomorrow evening for losing it”

“I really have to keep hold of Stanway don't I?” the man laughed

“For as long as she's happy here...” you shrugged your shoulders before turning around leaving the office

“There she IIIISSSS” you heard Jill before you saw her

“And there she gooooeeesss” you mimicked her turning to leave again

“No no no no no Lieveheersbeestje” the dutch said quickly throwing her arm around your shoulders pulling you further into the gym

“Lie... what?” you looked at her disgusted

“Lieveheersbeestje... Ladybug” the young player smiled

“Ew... stop giving me Pet names... your my annoying soul sister” you pushed her of you

“Naaaaw.... love you too” the dutch sing songed and pulled you back against her

“Let go you annoying gouda-head” you said trying to push her away again

“Say that you love me too” Jill laughed holding on to you even tighter

“My Sister taught me not to lie..” you pushed harder even tho both of you were just messing “so I'm not saying this because it would be a big fat lie”

“You don't mean that” the dutch exclaimed shocked

“Pernille!!!!” you whined out as you spotted the Danish player “Jill is mean to me...”

“Jill...” the light blonde warned as she stretched her muscles

“I didn't do anything” the dutch defended herself

“She wanted me to lie... Lucy said if she ever catches me lying she cuts me feet off!” you immediately said accusingly

“Kids” Pernille warned now both of you before turning to her girlfriend “Which one do you want?”

“The small Bronze of course” Magda looked at Pernille like she lost her mind “I really don't understand that question”

“Just wanted to be polite” the Danish said rolling her eyes “Take your kid to the other side of the room... these two together won't be good”

“Come on Kid... we start over there” Magda pulled you out of Jills grip and to the other side of the gym

“I'm not your Kid” you looked confused but let the swede pull you along

“Now you are... or do you prefer Kiddo?” the blonde swede grinned “Or should I throw Swedish nicknames at you?”

“Can't you just be normal?” you looked bewildered

“Normal is boring... I'm fun” Magda grinned

“And old...” you mumbled

“Hey... I'm not old” the blonde exclaimed

“Oh sorry... you are experienced” you nodded with a shit eating grin

“Just... do your training” Magda pushed you towards the treadmill

“I... don't have a trainings plan” you said confused

“Then do whatever you fell like but please do something... Pernille is already looking over” the swede whisper yelled

“Uuuuhhh... someone is scared of her girlfriend” you teased the older player

“You want me to get her on your ass... I still can swap kids” Magda said grinning

“I... can't go on the treadmill...” you admitted a little ashamed

“Why not... it's not that hard... and you look fit enough to do it” the swede pushed you slightly

“No... I... physically can't...” you started to bite your lip looking up to find your girlfriend

“Would you please explain that?” Magda said carefully sensing that it was a very personal topic

“I have... knee issues” you said finally spotting your girlfriend on the bench press

“Okay...” the swede said softly “... want to do some arm work?”

“I can do push ups or pull ups” you said excited and grateful that Magda dropped the topic

“How many pull ups can you manage?” Magda grinned poking at your competitiveness

“More than you” you shot back

“Oh we're gonna see that” the blonde grinned already jumping up to grab the monkey bar

“Respect little Bronze...” Magda panted out next to you as both of you laid on the ground faces red and covered in sweat “... didn't think you had it in you”

“My sister is Lucy Bronze...” you panted back “... had to beat her in something”

“Are you two done being idiots?” Pernille asked appearing in your line of vision

“We're not idiots” the swede answered her girlfriend “... we had to settle an argument”

“Oh really...” the Danish said raising her eyebrows “... keeping everyone from training because you two do pull ups until you pass out... counts as being idiotic”

“I won” you weakly pointed out your breathing slowly getting back to normal

“Pff... you wish” the blonde swede next to you huffed

“Oh I won” you sat up quickly which turned out to be the wrong move as you began to sway

“Yes Søde you won” Pernille was immediately by your side steadying you with her legs

“She didn't.... you shouldn't lie to her” Magda exclaimed

“She won” the Danish said firmly throwing her girlfriend a look that probably could freeze hell

“Yes darling... she won... fair and square...” the swede quickly corrected herself and it made you snicker

“Alex is waiting for you?” the Danish looked down at you

“Uh yeah... he driving me home” you quickly said trying to stand up but your said it wasn't a good idea

“Stay down... let your body relax and let it come back from the torture you just put it through” Pernille said gently

“Don't have time for that” you answered trying to stand up again

“Oh but you gonna make time Søde...” the Danish smirked and you knew you better listen

“If G helps me... would you please let me go shower?” you asked carefully

“No... Georgia has to train” Pernille answered shortly “... I normally should train too but I can stay a little longer with Magda so I can afford a few minutes”

“We stay longer?” the blonde swede whined “Why?”

“Because you haven't done any of your training so far... you did pull ups....” the Danish answered strictly

“Aaaah maaaan” Magda huffed annoyed

“Your own fault... MY kid is already done with her training by the way... I win the better parent contest” Pernille grinned

“My kid is cooler and fitter” the swede shot back “Your kid is just annoying”

“HA!” you exclaimed happily “I think I can stand up now”

“Try” the Danish encouraged you and you finally got up without swaying “.... okay... off to the shower and you clock out before you leave”

“Yes mom” you rolled your eyes but quickly moved out of the way when Pernille tried to playfully kick your ass

15 minutes later you pushed your head through the door of the gym looking for Pernille

“Mom I'm gone...” you yelled in her direction finding her standing next to Magda who just did some leg press

“I expect you home for dinner” the Danish shot back without taking her eyes of her girlfriend

“Yes mother” you rolled your eyes

“That's “ja mor” for you brat” Pernille played along smiling slightly as she nudged Magda slightly with her foot against her girlfriends hip silently telling her to focus

“Yeah yeah... I'm off..” you pulled a face before disappearing again

“So... any tips for free?” Alex asked as soon you slided into his passenger seat

“You have to watch Aitana... this woman likes to work” you said as you put your seatbelt in place

“I already know that” the Norwegian rolled his eyes as he smoothly maneuvered the car through traffic “... want a little city tour?”

“I wish I could but I really have to get going on this stupid desert G promised Pernille for inviting us for dinner” you grumbled

“You got invited by Hardersson? Nice...” the trainer looked impressed

“Why you look so impressed?” you asked confused not understanding why he would be impressed by a dinner invitation

“You getting invited by our royal couple... impressive... you here now what... two days? Three?” Alex mused

“Three if you count arrival” you said “Royal couple?”

“You don't really follow social media don't you?” the Norwegian asked chuckling

“Not really no... being Lucy Bronzes sister does things.... the amount of thirst messages over my sisters hands or her thighs I received kinda put me off having a social media account... then there were threats... or inappropriate messages... oh yeah... and the messages that said they were happy I had three ACLs.... so no.. not really on social media” you said flatly

“The internet is a dangerous place...” the Trainer said calmly “... but also a good place you know... we as a Club can use it to keep in touch with the fans... we can rewatch games... players can basically promote themselves”

“I know... I never said it was bad... it wasn't just not a good place for me at the time” you said seriously

“But back to the original topic.. Hardersson is the royal couple...” Alex said

“I thought that was Beth and Viv...” you asked confused

“Here in Munich it's Pernille and Magda” the Norwegian smiled

“You're biased because Pernille is on your national team” you said shaking your head

“She's Danish....” the Trainer rolled his eyes “... I'm Norwegian and I don't train the NORWEAGIAN team”

“Danish... Norwegian... Sweden... all cold countries” you grumbled

“England isn't far off” Alex teased you

“We have rain... not cold” you huffed

“I went skiing in Glencoe last winter” the Norwegian chuckled finding immense entertainment in riling you up

“Glencoe is Scotland you fish eating...” you couldn't think off a good insult so you just huffed again

“We're here my token” he laughed as he pointed to the front door of the house where Georgia had her apartment in

“Thanks for the ride trainer” you tipped your head and got out of the car

“Don't forget to lose that paper tomorrow” he yelled after you and you threw a thumbs up at him

“Baby... I'm ho... shit that smells good... what is it?” Georgia yelled as she opened the door and got a little sniff of the pastry you made.

She walked into the kitchen but you weren't there. But she found the most delicious treat. Just as she was about to grab one from the baking tray you yelled from the bathroom

“If you touch them damn things Georgia Stanway I cut your fingers off”

“But you love my fingers!” your girlfriend yelled back in a teasing tone but retreated from the tray

“You still have a tongue I can use...” you deadpanned as you stepped out of the bathroom wearing a dark blue pantsuit with a silver necklace just putting in the matching earrings and light make-up

“True... but you li....” Georgia said but stopped midsentence and just stared at you

“What?” you asked seeing her staring at you

“You... this... you” your girlfriend rambled with wide eyes

“Do you need a restart?” you asked carefully and a little taken aback “... I can hit you if you need it”

“No.... you're just... you're beautiful.... so so beautiful” Georgia whispered

“Thank you” you said shyly your cheeks flushed as you bit your lip

“I think we should stay in....” your girlfriend pushed herself into your space towering a little over you

“No... I spend the last two hours making that desert... we go...” you said firmly pushing her back slightly “... go change... if we're late because of you...”

“Yeah... I'm already moving... no need to get mean woman” Georgia grumbled knowing exactly what you wanted to say

30 Minutes later you stood in front of a small house a little outside the city center with your basket full of deserts. Georgia took it upon herself to ring the doorbell – multiple times to annoy Magda – and was now waiting with a wide grin for the swede to open the door. And that she did. Magda opened the door saw a widely grinning Georgia Stanway with you behind her holding a basket. The swede eyed the basket and you offered it to her so she could take a better look

“I come brining gifts” you smirked as you saw the blonde lurking inside

Suddenly everything went very quickly. Georgia got pushed to the side so she nearly fell into the rose bushes you got grabbed and ungracefully pulled inside as Magda shut the door behind you with her foot

“Pernille... Pernille....” the swede excitedly yelled pulling you behind her further into the house “PERNILLE!!!”

“I'm in the same universe as you... stop screaming... what's the matter” the Danish came out of the – what you assume living room – looking annoyed “... hello dearest daughter of mine”

“Hi...” you said a little bit flustered and confused

“What's the matter Eriksson?” Pernille looked at her girlfriend who just pushed you in front of her with a wide grin

“Look...” she motioned to the basket

“Where's Georgia?” the Danish asked looking behind you two

“Don't know” Magda said getting more excited by the second “.... who cares... LOOK”

Finally Pernille took a look into the basket and bursted out laughing

“Can we keep her??” the blonde swede asked hopefully

“She's not a dog Magda” Pernille rolled her eyes

“But she made Kanelbullar!!” Magda pointed out taking the basket from your hands shoving it in her girlfriends face

“You are unbelievable Magda... no manners whatsoever” the Danish said annoyed as she made her way to the door to leave your girlfriend in

“I'm really sorry Georgia...” the blonde Dane said “... you have my permission to hit her”

“It's alright...” your girlfriend waved off “... I got threatened with cut off fingers if I'd touch them... she made them from scratch”

“Magda will guard her with her life now...” Pernille chuckled as she watched her girlfriend basically carrying you around and running circles around you asking you a million questions a second if you need anything

“That's okay...” Georgia smiled softly “.... she deserves to have more people in her corner”

“God Stanway... you really are in love” the blonde Dane chuckled

“Is that a bad thing when you look at her?” your girlfriend looked longing at you

“No... she's a treasure...” Pernille smiled as well watching how her girlfriend offered you even her Olympic medal in exchange for more Kanelbullar

[deesseshesca]

PAC : Letter from your pregnant self (HIS POV) 18+

I got beef with men but ... what else is new ?

PERSONAL READING (SALE) (LINK)

FIRE TO THE MOON

FUTURE LOVE + SEX DOUALA = 40$ (2for1)

DOWN TO MY CORE

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PILE 1

MY BEEF...any way thank you so much for coming through. Girl you better like it, he got me working fucking overtime. Actually all of them did ...

(LINK TO YOUR READING ... YES IT IS FREE AND ON TUMBLR ... MERRY CHRISMAS)

PILE 2 

Both of y’all are only child that were raised to be anxious over achiever. Parents are never there. I keep hearing : ‘’Super rich kids with nothing but loose ends. Super rich with nothing but fake friends…’’

Letter suppose to be for you but instead he wrote it for your baby.

Dear Lucetta (Various ethereal ‘’L’’ name came through. Other name that came through : Lysandra, Lysianne and Lucretia) 

Daddy messed up (This man is bawling. I mean breakdown and everything. He tries to be strong but for the sec that he admits that, tears are overflowing. If he was actually writing the letter they would be teardrop on the letter). Daddy is nothing but an asshole. I should not write this right … Your mama is going to get mad when she realizes how I butcher your vocabulary (yellow laugh ( french : rire jaune) … idk how to explain it in english). Fuck … You deserve a fucking good letter. That’s the least I can fucking do … yeah that’s the least I can do. Mama decorate your room like the royalty you are meant to be. The tapestry tailored in Spain in an accent of gold and soft pink are all over the walls. Made sure to ask the maid to polish the wooden floor until she can see herself in it. She actually sent me in here to check the oxygen cleanliness of your room. First wtf is air cleanliness. Second when the fuck did they created a damm machine for that shit. Lastly, you are not even there … Sorry baby … I love you more than anything but your mama is gone mad with the way she’s preparing for you. I never understood when  my poor friends complain about rich people's spending habits.  Now I am standing in the room section reserved for your room oxygen. I can help but run a hand in my hair and agree. (Another yellow laugh (rire jaune) before falling down on his knees and crying. Give him a couple minute y’all he needs to catch his breath … ) You're going to cost me so much baby. I never care for my trust fund, finances or even money but I am asking the family accountant to come to me first thing in the morning for the 4th this month. I hope I have enough money ( and for some of y’all … gold … liquid gold …iykyk). I know Mr. (His dad's name) has enough money in the bank but maybe is not enough. Maybe you need more than the couple millions we have. Maybe you need more than the properties we own. Maybe you need fucking more than an oxygen regulator machine. Maybe you need a whole lung doctor. Yes… you  need a nutritionist, a child psychologist … Does the baby have a tutor ? Fuck you need it. Baby just said and daddy will get it. You understand everything you want daddy get. You want a hug, a kiss, for me to count all the stars in the sky to describe how much he loves … done. You need me to buy the moon for you … done. You need me to resurrect  Leonardo Devinci so he can paint you in all your glory … done. There’s nothing I would not give to you but the thing that makes my heart ache is the way I crave intimacy with you. Can’t wait to hold you in my hands. Can’t wait to touch your littles toes. Can’t wait to see your lips pout like your mama when she is done with my mess. Can’t wait to see you grow. I promise princess I will never make second ever again. I will go to every parent meeting at school, bringing you to all your ballet, opera, harp, fencing, horse ridding whatever fucking classes your mom has for you; I will never miss your school competition and I will listen to all your house show you will produce to show yourself off. I don’t care if I am in a meeting, I will always have time for you. I will always have time to remind you how much I love you, how pretty you are, how much you matter and how much of a blessing you are just because you are. Yes… just because is you,  baby. Forgive daddy please. I know I am not in a position to ask you for anything especially after giving up on you for so long but if you don’t make it out of the NICU … mommy may never make it out. We both made her suffer enough. 

Please baby (damm he's whimpering in pain, choking on tears) stay with us. 

YOUR DADDY. 

Don’t worry you are not dead or close to it ( in the physical form at least …), you are being monitored at the hospital. I am getting traumatic labor (I should do a PAC about it) not because of pain but because of blood. You may have not lost your water but blood. I see you laughing at some joke the father of your baby did. Not a single care in the world. Girl your hair is perfect, if you have a Dyson and are working to perfect your blowout … just so you know you are the blowout queen in a couple years. Skin glowing, you look so pretty pregnant. That baby was really the blessing that changed your life forever. You are wearing a 2 piece white set … boom blood. You touch and look at your man. I keep hearing : ‘’ nononono … that can’t be it. (HIS NAME !) It can’t be … my baby. 

This whole letter  has nothing to do with the cards so let’s dive … shall we ? (Intuition took over …)

First you guys were both extremely hardworking workers. Never had time ( and also if I may … never learn ) to create deep bonds. I see both people living in their own penthouse. Yours has more of a Victorian look and his is more modern. You may have a white cat. 

You met at the work gala. I see 2 people look at each and accept y’all fate. 

You start fucking. The deal was perfect. He needed a woman that was not going to get attached to his riches. You needed a man that’s not trying to fix your cold heart. 

I see y’all literally planning to have sex like it’s a meeting … I think y’all use it to blow some steam annoyed by your empty life, useless parents and annoying coworkers. 

At first just fucking, no aftercare, clothe back on and on the go. Then he cracks a joke and you giggle which makes you stay 5 minutes longer. Then he charms you while cooking dinner for you before you leave. Then you spend more and more time together… Now he grabs you a snack and y’all always watch a kid show. He complains about how dumb the character is but you enjoy the deep dive he’s doing without even realizing it. 

You are not wrong, there's a lot of things he doesn't realize. He doesn't realize how much he craves connection. He doesn't realize how much he craves intimacy with you. When asked why ? Is it because you allow him to be ( do you realize the synchrony with the letter … anyway sometime my psychic surprise me 2 girl) 

You took the pregnancy test together and he joke on the fact it was getting terminated and not to stress so much but a light a hope awaken in your  heart for the first in soooo fucking long but you brush it off and went on the same page as him. Not because of him but because ‘’ you the fuck has time for a kid anyway’’ (your word not mine). 

Then you heard the baby's heartbeat and you cut all contact with him. Someday at the beginning of your second trimester you text him paragraphs upon paragraph on how you kept the baby, how it was never to hurt him, but for the first time in your life you felt hope and it felt like you needed to hold on to it. That you don’t know how but you are going to make it. 

He will villainize you and block you. One of your close friend is going to send them drunk voice memo in the middle of the third semester announcing him is a girl between cursing the fuck out. WAKE UP CALL FOR MISTER. 

He comes back the same day you threw your private luxurious baby shower. 

Some of y’all are Italian 

He has a no relationship with his parents and refuses 2. Calling them by their first name while you still seek love from them. 

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PILE 3

Dear Red (y’all call each other by colors so anything can fit, just took that one because it came through first) , 

You are resplendent. I know you think I am exaggerating. Or maybe you think I am only talking this sweet because everything is new ( I just heard : ‘’ The talk is cheap …’’ Lol this one is sassy) but baby I can put my hand the fire that I would still go that hard for you in 30 years when you boobs going to sag, your face will wrinkles from all the time I am going to make you laugh and you have grey hair just like mine ( You : YAH! Stop that in 30 years we are not going to be this old … you dumb fuck. I swear too God this fucking skincare better work. You better stop being goofy .. I want to be a MILF. You know, that is one of my life goals … GIRL YOU BETTER TELL HIM; Me: (choking on my laugh) Now… Why am I getting yelled at ?). Can’t never forget when I saw your sexy ass that day at the beach. I did not think … yeah I can’t wait to fuck it and make her yell my name (ok can’t lie it was my very next thought) nahhh, baby I was hook by the way the sun was making your skin glow. The tattoo on your body is a telling story before my eyes but you know I never wear my damm glasses so I could not read it. Anyway the way your hair flows gracefully with the wind, the way your eyes light up basking in the sun. I knew I had to get a lil mama number. When I first hear your voice … it made me breathless (should have asked for your asthma pump but I did not know you like that at that time but that shows you how much I was starstruck … Almost I had my first asthma attack- You: BABY stop telling my damm business to this lady). Your words, your tone, the way you move with so much elegance … I just knew I hit the jackpot. I would be damm to let you go. I am so proud of having you as mine. I love spending time with you, I love spending money on you, I love kissing you, I love leaving hickeys on you, I love holding your hands, I love texting you, I love making stupid edits of us (Me : the 2014 couple edit … girl … I can’t … you boy is making me cry of laughter). I know everything happens so quickly but you know how you explain me that life is like a book with crystals and your cards with little drawing on it, ( Me : Byeeee I can't, he is trying to explain crystals and tarot cards; Him: Honestly I don’t know about all that … I love hearing her talk about it. I love hearing her talk when she’s excited. I love her voice. The perfect candidate for yap session) anyway my inner child feels so safe and alive with you. I know you feel the same baby girl. Everything is working so effortlessly that must mean we are manifesting something good ( Me : LOL ! He’s talking about the law of attraction). My mom did not even get mad when I announced to her that I got you pregnant (You : Duh she loves me stoopid). You parents loved the fact that we found each other and your dad is as eager as me to formalize our union. Honestly I would marry you anywhere at any time. I told  you from the beginning that you will be my wife and I meant it but I know you want something bigger and so  it’s going to have to wait. That doesn't mean I can’t surprise you with an engagement ring. Standing here with a small group of men allowed to the baby shower, I can’t help but look at you. Your skin tight black dress exposing your full breast and the slide on it showing off your thick thighs. The smile on your face while you act ratchet with your friends ( Him: Damm babe I did not know you could still throw it in a circle 8 months pregnant … you better not say you are tired tonight. I got a plan for both of us) letting yourself go not a single care in the world. This is how I want you to be forever. Not a single care in the world, always full of joy and love and helping you achieve all your goals. Baby I know, it was quick but I swear it is only the beginning of the most beautiful love story. I am going to work hard until my last breath to keep the spark going. 

YOUR ONE AND ONLY MAN 

HIM 

Again wtf is wrong with those men. At first they did not want to work with me … now they are good ? To the point of making me over work …smh.

Yes, you guess it … it was an intuitive letter now let’s get into the card. 

First I am getting PLUS SIZE ! Yes, very thick and curvy women.  Now I understand why I wanted to write a bigger butt earlier … your man loves the curves baby. That’s does not mean is a fucking fetiche. Like if it is affecting health is going to ask you to fix it. News flash loser fat people can have an active life and still be fat. He never forces you to achieve any kind of weird kink. 

Y’all may be giving yourself too easily to men. I am getting that since they only see you for your body. You prefer existing than being invisible (like when you were child, some of y'all have been big since childhood. You were not really bullied but very ignored. People were ashamed to associate with you). Right now I see you are at the beginning of your elf love journey. You are making healthy food choices, spending time mastering a hobby : crystal, tarot, knitting or some other heels dancing. YOU GO GIRL ! Regarding men you still give yourself easily, some even tell you they don’t like you. They just fuck you because you are easy. You accept it and let them take you to pound town anyway. 

This man is going to help you tremendously in your self love journey … you have no fucking idea. You are going to glow more, stop eating your feelings, love yourself, have boundaries with your environment ( idk when the world decides that we have to give less respect to rounder people but anyways …), you will dress more provocatively and wear way more colors. Speak your mind more and be confident in yourself. 

Baby say goodbye to boring sex and say hello to sex toys. Rejoice, babe rejoice you deserve it. Let me tell you something he is pleasure dom … Girl he's going to make you orgasm like it is a damm sport. You better hold on because the night is going to be long. Pussy swollen from overstimulation, ass hurting from spanking and hickeys everywhere. Not him having the audacity to ask you to ride him after all that … anyways chile let me go. 

He gets so hard whenever you talk about spirituality. If you are witch prank by performing some sex magick on him, this man would be sooo proud to be your little helper while you are doing some spell.

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PILE 4 

Judgement (reverse), King pentacles, 4 wands (reverse), page of cups (reverse) 

I put the card because I want to show that I actually try to do the reading at first but the energy aint it. Somebody had an awful pregnancy especially because of an awful baby daddy. Like he dragged you to the filth, made you cry and cheated on you. Even gave you an STD for some of y’all. Since than he calm the fuck down. He tries to come through like a nicer person  but he made sure to make me understand he doesn't love you so I don't want him. I ain't wasting my time for something he can text. Then his younger self came through … boy bye with your filthy energy. 

So I kept trying because I had to feed you guys … Then your future husband came through but you were still not pregnant so … it was kind of useless for me … But then I understood that y’all are actively trying and that's good enough for me. 

No cards … straight intuition ( I don’t  want this filthy energy to come through again) 

Dear Малышка, Солнышко, Киса (ain't going to lie … I google the most popular and line it up. He ain't going to call you all that. Also I am really getting eastern Europe and I know they all have their own language but most of them somehow got colonized by Russia in some way shape or form. But if he’s from Poland then he will use his language. He’s from Lithuania, he will use his language … You catch the drift) 

(before we get into anything … thick, thick accent), fuck I want you. I need you. Like all the time. You ain’t make it easy for me Малышка. One day you welcome me home with a long white robe, hair in a perfect intricate bun and makeup a bit oily. That's how I know our kid did not let you rest. You only had  time to take away your clothes before you had to jump in mommy mode. Other times you tease me by sending me pictures of the lingerie and perfume you are wearing. Swear I hate the fact that I start work so early and finish so late. Oh let me not forget when you took a picture with my computer of you in your favorite brown set. The number of times you give me a blue ball should be illegal. Don’t even get me started when we were invited to the gala, you look so breathtaking … anyways you already know all that. Being a man's desire never was a foreign concept but being in love was one I had to teach you. Every day I rejoice with the idea of spending a whole lifetime loving you and our little bundle of energy. She/He never stops … just like her/his mommy. It took me a while to win over her/his heart. She/He is so protective of your heart. Almost as if he/she everyone in your heart aches when carrying him/her. That’s ok now we are 2 trying to protect you, can’t wait to be 3 humans to love on you. Until then here is the money for the new makeup you wanted to try. 

Love you Малышка. 

LOL ! I swear your future man has some sense of humor. I said the other one he could text you is lame nice word this one came through as a text. 

Also some of you may think he is super old … nah he is around your age. Babe get out the damn book there’s handsome Slavic men your age range in the real world. 

Anyways this man has tattoos and loves metal and goth music. He has moneyyy. I just don’t know the capacity but enough to put you in a luxurious condo and fund your influencer career. 

Lol … I see some of y’all cringing. I don’t think you will do couple content, actually you keep your life extremely private … The only thing people know is the diamond on your finger. I am getting more skincare and makeup content creators. You have a boudoir (beauty room/content room) that’s all we see. When I channeled him, I saw you receiving his message while getting ready to film some content. At that time in your life you are still juggling a 9to5. I mean girl, you are doing it all ! Mommy, corporate baddie, content creator and trophy wife. 

He has a rather dark aesthetic unlike you. You have a quite cute, pink aesthetic but love hardcore metal and goth. 

He came through while I played my NIRVANA playlist.

PREVIOUS READING

2) Wanna know the love story the universe has for you? 💫 In 8 parts, I spill all: first meet, first kiss, confession, sexy time, and more. Don’t miss out! 👀💖 (LINK)

3) For ALL DECEMBER get 2 readings for the price of 1 : LINK

[pretzel-box]

Could I perhaps request a part two of sun kissed where either Painter draws reader exactly or reader just waltzes in as an experiment?? If you already have something planned don’t worry abt this request <33

Remember to take breaks!! <33

-💫

—SEQUEL TO SUNKISSED [CLICK HERE]

tags: Established Relationship [Marriage], fluff, gender neutral reader, reader just talking to P.AI.nter about the proposal, comforting little drawing session with P.AI.nter

words: 1,1k

“He always had the habit of biting his cheek and doing that thing with his eyebrows,” you remarked, your voice light as you reminisced. P.AI.nter listened attentively, his virtual eyes fixed on you while his digital hands sketched away on the screen. “You know, the way he raises his eyebrows at everything that irritates him.”

The soft sound of pencil on paper filled the room as you sat across from him, your face illuminated by the dim glow of his monitor. You were sketching in your own little notebook, the movements of your hand so fluid and natural that P.AI.nter couldn’t help but feel a pang of envy. “And he rolls his eyes when he thinks no one’s watching. He’s so fed up with people sometimes that it’s cute. He’s so expressive!” You giggled, brushing imaginary sweat from your forehead with your sleeve before lightly tapping your paper with the pencil. “Sebastian was always a grumpy-pie. A cutie pie, but with mood swings.”

If P.AI.nter could nod, he would have. He found your description of Sebastian spot-on. It seemed that, despite everything, Sebastian was still the same man you fell in love with all those years ago—only now with more trauma etched into his soul. The AI felt a strong urge to speak up, to say something—anything—but he hesitated. The image of Sebastian’s sun-kissed proposal lingered in the background of his mind, waiting to be shared. Yet, deep down, P.AI.nter knew it wasn’t his place to reveal Sebastian’s feelings before he was ready.

Just as P.AI.nter was about to say something, you interrupted his thoughts. “And on the day he proposed, he had this unbelievably cute smile on his face.” A bright smile spread across your own lips as you recalled the memory of Sebastian on the beach, standing at the shore with slightly trembling hands and a blush that outshone the sunset. The nervousness had been written all over his face, yet the pure determination in his eyes made that moment unforgettable.

“He went down on one knee, the waves lapping at his leg, and he looked me straight in the eyes with this gaze… the kind that says everything without a word.” You gently set your papers aside, placing them on the ground. “Oh, P.AI.nter, being looked at like that is something everyone should experience at least once in their life. To be loved unconditionally by someone who sees you for who you truly are.”

You placed your warm hands on the side of his screen, your gaze soft and full of warmth. P.AI.nter couldn’t help but notice how similar it was to the way Sebastian looked whenever he spoke about you. It was clear that the two of you were a perfect match.

“Somewhere between the long, deep talks and the funny moments, I fell for you. And when I finally realized it, every moment with you felt like I had come home, to the place where I belong. To the person where I belong.”

You quoted Sebastian from that day on the beach, where the sky was awash with the colors of the setting sun. The golden light had gently highlighted his usually dark hair, his eyes filled with refreshing determination, and the sparkling diamond ring he pulled from his pocket gleamed in the light, rivaling the pure ocean waves.

“You are my home, and I would be lost without you. Please, will you marry me?”

P.AI.nter had never truly understood what love meant, but hearing your side of the proposal stirred something deep within his programming. He began to grasp that what you and Sebastian shared was something rare and pure. It pained him to know that Sebastian, his friend and partner, was just outside the door, separated from you by only a thin piece of metal.

Sebastian leaned against the wall next to the door, two of his arms crossed, clenching on something, while a third wiped away the tears streaming down his cheek. He listened quietly as you spoke so fondly of your proposal, and though he was just a few feet away, you had no idea he was there.

Why was he crying when he was already home?

As you continued to reminisce with P.AI.nter, your voice softened, carrying a warmth that seemed to fill the entire room. “You know, P.AI.nter, the proposal was the best thing in our lives. I actually invited him that day. I now he liked that beach as much as I did. And I brought a small black box with me, a ring.”

P.AI.nter listened intently, his virtual sketching slowing down as he focused more on your words than his drawing. He stopped in the middle of another paint stroke as he realized what you just revealed. This wasn't a part that Sebastian told him.

“And god, his eyes, P.AI.nter, his eyes. The moment he proposed and showed me the ring was the moment I pulled out the box, and his eyes, he started to cry.”

You paused, a dreamy smile spreading across your face as you recalled those tender moments. “He broke down crying in my arms, telling me over and over again that he accepts. I didn't even need to say anything.” P.AI.nter’s screen flickered gently as if responding to the emotions in your voice. He wanted to offer some words out of his own mind, the memories of his drawing session with Sebastian but he knew that the memories you were sharing were special, meant for you and Sebastian alone. The AI simply continued to listen, absorbing every detail of your love story not daring to interrupt it.

Suddenly, your recollections were interrupted by a faint, unusual noise coming from outside the room. You furrowed your brow, pausing mid-sentence. “Did you hear that, P.AI.nter?”

The AI paused its sketching. “Yes, I detected a sound from the hallway. Perhaps just another angle- Where are you going—”

Curiosity piqued, you gently set down your sketchbook and stood up, walking over to the door. You opened it cautiously, peeking out into the dimly lit hallway. The corridor was empty, the faint hum of the facility’s systems the only sound you could hear. You stepped out, glancing up and down the hall, but there was no one in sight.

“Hello?” you called softly, your voice echoing slightly. You waited for a response, but none came. After a moment, you sighed, feeling a strange sense of disappointment as you turned to go back inside. But before you closed the door, something caught your eye—a small, folded piece of paper on the ground, just outside the door.

Curious, you picked it up and unfolded it, revealing a hastily scrawled note. It was a messy little doodle of two people, standing at a beach in each other's arms. And then it hit you. He was here.

[joelscruff]

ummm hi this is so random i just needed to tell someone about this cause no one i know likes pedro

so i was watching s1 narcos and javi was wearing this fkn white half sleeved shirt and they knew what they were fucking doing and i’m dying he’s so fkn hot what do i do!!, if i was interning for him and he walked in the room wearing that oh my fkn god i would be dead sorry for this rant

soaked (javier peña x f!reader) 18+

so as usual what was meant to be a little drabble became a full-fledged fic. what is wrong with me????? this outfit is truly insane though and i couldn't stop thinking about it getting wet 👀 i hope you enjoy xo (and thank you anon for the inspo and for telling me what episode this lovely shirt was in!) summary: it's hard being an intern for a man who won't even look at you, but maybe there's something else to it that you don't see. rating: 18+ explicit warnings: smut, blowjobs, deepthroating, protected p in v sex, praise kink, dirty talk, size kink (javi has a big dick), biting, probably bad spanish (blame google) word count: 6k (this was supposed to be a drabble!!!!!!! wtf!!!!!!!!) ao3

You're pretty sure you're going to quit your job.

You've been an intern at the DEA for about a month now, in charge of extremely mundane things like pouring coffee and organizing paperwork. No one really talks to you other than Steve Murphy, one of the agents you're assigned to, and even then he's too busy to really give you much attention. It's lonely and boring, and part of you thinks you might have quit already, if it wasn't for...

"Morning, asshole," Javier Peña enters the office with long strides, tossing a stack of papers toward your (very tiny) desk. You can't help but stare at him, swallowing nervously as you assess the plain white shirt he's wearing, loosely tucked into his tight jeans and accentuating his strong, tan arms. How does he always look so good? His hair is messy, brown curls tangled and sticking up in places like he's just rolled out of bed, and he probably has. The faint scent of whisky that follows him tells you all you need to know about how he spent his evening.

You're worried for only half a second that he's talking to you, but you realize his gaze is directed toward Steve, who simply shrugs.

"You didn't have to come," he replies with a laugh, "You coulda said no."

"To your fucking wife? Please." Javier sits down in his chair with force, leaning back to immediately put his long legs up on his desk and reach for a cigarette from his pocket, "She was excited about it, you dick."

Steve just laughs again, turning back to his work, "You did the right thing, man. I don't know what else to say."

You wish you understood the story, knew what they were playfully ribbing each other about, but for the past month you've been on the outside of their relationship. Steve gives you reassuring smiles and some small talk every now and then but it's not enough to feel like you actually belong there, not to mention that Javier has only spoken to you once. Even now, as you rise from your chair to pour some fresh coffee into his mug, he doesn't even look at you.

"You owe me," he says to Steve, lighting up his cig, "Pendejo."

As you pour his coffee you can't help but notice the way the collar of his shirt rides low enough for you to see his collarbones, see the light dusting of hair smattered across his dark skin. There's a few droplets of sweat here and there, and you resist the urge to lean forward and press your tongue to each one.

"I'll have some more too, sweetheart," Steve says behind you, and your thoughts scatter as you pull back from Javier's mug to go re-fill Steve's. You're aware of the way Steve's eyes trail to your breasts, hidden only by a thin layer of blue fabric; it makes you self conscious and also a bit confused. Steve has never looked at you that way before, "That's a nice blouse," he says to you with a smile, eyes going back up to your face, "My wife has one similar to that."

"Thank you," you say quietly, finishing filling up his mug and wanting to go back over to your desk as soon as possible; you don't like the idea of a married man ogling you.

"Isn't this a nice blouse, Javi?" Steve continues, and you freeze.

What is Steve doing? Is he trying to get you insulted? You turn slightly to look at Javier, coffee pot trembling slightly in your hand when you see that he's got an irritated expression painting his face, mouth downturned in a stern frown.

"Thin ice, Steve," Javier replies and takes another drag from his cigarette, his eyes set firmly on Steve's face, not even bothering to even look at the blouse in question.

"What? It's nice," Steve seems to be feigning innocence, yet again another inside joke you're not apart of. Except this time it's at your expense and you're not sure how that makes you feel. Suddenly Steve reaches up and takes a ruffle of your blouse near your arm between his fingers, "Really soft, too."

"Steve," Javier repeats, eyes dark, "Thin. Ice."

You look from Javier to Steve and back to Javier, absolutely bewildered. It's like things are being said but you can't hear them, have no idea what kind of secret language they're speaking. You pull away from Steve a bit, feeling uncomfortable.

"I'm gonna go put this back," you say quietly, referring to the coffee pot.

"Of course, sweetheart, I won't keep you," Steve gives you a wink and you know something is off. From what you've gathered so far from your time here, Steve loves his wife, has a picture of her on his desk right in front of him that you always catch him looking at. You've only been here a month but you swear he's mentioned her every single day, if not to you then to Javier, if not to Javier then to another intern or agent. So why is he suddenly being flirtatious with you?

You leave the room and return the coffee pot, staring at the aged tiles on the wall in front of you and feeling a lump form in your throat. You really do hate it here, you don't know why you've stayed as long as you have.

Yes you do, you idiot.

--

It's raining outside by the time your work day ends and you feel yourself deflate as you walk out the front doors of the DEA; you'd been hoping for the hot weather to continue so you could go for a run and distract yourself from this weird and uncomfortable day, decide whether or not you're going to just quit already. It's like the heavy rainfall is mocking you.

You feel much too depressed to walk home so you go back inside the building and make your way back to the office to call a taxi. Steve passes you in the hallway and slows down, puts his hand up to stop you.

"Hey, I'm sorry for this morning," he says, eyes kind and gentle, "That was inappropriate, I shouldn't have touched your blouse."

You're not sure what to say, giving him a small shrug, "It's, uh, okay. I was just..." you shake your head, "Yeah, never mind, it's okay."

"You're wondering why I did it." he states, frowning, and you almost laugh at his immediate assessment of the situation; deflecting a DEA agent? Not the smartest idea.

"Well, yeah," you shrug, "It was kinda weird. You're usually, um... very respectful so-"

He winces, "I know, I'm sorry. It was just me trying to get on Peña's nerves," he shuffles awkwardly in front of you, shifting the weight from his left leg to his right and back again, "He'd kill me if he knew I was telling you this, but I owe him."

You look at him in total confusion, shaking your head, "I don't understand."

He chuckles, shaking his head, "I know, I'm just trying to figure out how to word it," he bites his lip and then seems to resign himself to something, "Javier... he likes you."

You stare.

"My wife and I, we kind of wrangled him into having dinner with us last night. They were talking, she was askin' him about women, if he'd been on any dates, typical questions," he laughs at the memory, "He said no and she asked if he had his eye on anyone. He said no again, but I know this guy like the back of my hand, I can read him like a book. I knew that second no was a goddamn lie."

Your heart is pounding in your chest but your thoughts are muddled, unable to draw a clear conclusion from what Steve is telling you. You continue to just stand there wordlessly, listening.

"A few drinks later - well, more than a few - I asked him who he had his eye on. You wouldn't believe how easy it was to get it out of him, he just smiled, took a drag of his cig..." Steve acts this out, bringing his cigarette-less fingers to his lips and pretending to take a puff, eyes heavy-lidded and bleary, "And said your name."

You can't believe what you're hearing, there's no way it's true, no way he's telling you about something that actually happened. Your heart continues to pound relentlessly, staring at Steve like he's speaking another language, a million wordless questions flying back and forth in your mind at top speed.

"She's the most beautiful creature I ever saw," he quotes, voice slurred and gravelly, "She's sunshine incarnate."

"But he doesn't even look at me!" you blurt out, eyes wide.

Steve drops his hand and laughs again, shaking his head, "Sweetheart, he looks at you all the time. You're just looking away when he does it."

This revelation hits you hard, makes your breath catch in your throat. Is this actually true? Or is this some sick inside joke they're playing to get you to finally put in your notice, one of their private little games that you're not a part of. On principle it's the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard; the man has spoken to you once, only once, and it was on your first day. He'd introduced himself, shook your hand, and that was that.

"What do you mean you're doing this because you owe him?" you ask, shaking the thoughts away, "Isn't this just humiliating him?"

Steve smiles again, slightly smug, "I see the way you look at him too, you know. I'm not blind," he looks at his watch then and makes a face, "Listen, I gotta go, but if you're heading back to the office, he's still there."

"But, Steve, I-"

"Trust me," he gives you one of his reassuring smiles, "He needs - scratch that - wants someone like you, someone... stable."

You don't think being on the verge of quitting a paid internship would be considered stable, but you understand what he means. You may have only been here a short time but Javier's reputation is widely known around the office, something you've found yourself sympathizing with instead of villainizing him like others do. You know his history with women is pretty bleak relationship wise.

Steve begins to walk away from you, leaving you standing there speechless, "You better hurry before he leaves," he calls. He picks up his pace but you're still able to hear him as he mutters, "and that's my good deed done," then saunters down the hall and disappears around the corner.

--

The office you share with Javier and Steve is the only one still lit on your floor, meaning everyone else has already gone home. You know that Javier likes to stay late sometimes, work on the case alone and look at things from different angles in solitude. You feel nervous as you approach the door, not wanting to bother him. But regardless of whether what Steve said is true, you still need to call a taxi.

You turn the knob and walk inside, trying to be as quiet and slow as possible. Your efforts are pointless though, as Javier looks up from his work and sees you immediately, his eyebrows going up in surprise.

"It's raining," you say softly, awkwardly, "I need to call a cab."

"Right," he nods to you and then returns to his work without an afterthought, writing something down on a piece of paper.

You stand there for a few moments just looking at him, watching his face, trying to find any indication of affection behind those focused eyes, his serious brow. He looks the same as always, lost in thought, scribbling away, handsome as he does it. The white shirt certainly isn't helping; he's unbuttoned it more now, his chest exposed and sunglasses hanging from a button near his pocket. He's so effortlessly gorgeous, it makes you ache.

He must sense you still standing there, not making any move to walk to your desk and pick up the phone. He looks up at you again, brow furrowed, "Do you need something?"

You shake your head quickly, cheeks burning, "N-no, sorry," you shuffle over to your desk and sit down in your chair, doing everything you can to avoid looking over at him again. You think about what Steve said, how Javier is always looking at you but only when you're not aware. You wonder if he's doing it right now.

You reach for the phone, unable to stop your hands from shaking slightly. You're almost sure you feel his gaze on you now, boring into you and watching every move you make, eyes deep and brown and calculating, always calculating. Assessing. What does he make of you? If what Steve said is true, what does he see when he looks at you?

Sunshine incarnate.

You can't help but smile at the words, dialing the number for the taxi slowly as your brain repeats them over and over. Had he really said that about you? And meant it? Your thoughts are so jumbled that you accidentally press the wrong button and have to start over, hanging up the phone quickly before picking it up again.

Just as you go to press the first number, a hand comes down and stops you, brushing against your fingers in a tender and gentle way. You freeze, staring at the hand, knowing it's his, knowing that if he wasn't looking at you before, he certainly is now.

"Why don't I just give you a ride, cariño?" he asks quietly, voice slightly rough around the edges, "I'm heading home now anyway."

You will yourself to look up, eyes capturing his immediately and getting lost in their depths, big and brown and soft and searching. Your lips part but no words come out. You force yourself to give him a nod, repressing the urge to jump up and kiss his mouth, envelop him, hold him close and look even deeper into those soulful eyes.

You stand shakily and walk to the door, feeling his eyes on your back as he follows behind you. The walk down to the main doors of the building is completely silent, save for the clicking of your heels against the linoleum and his heavy masculine breaths at your side. It's still raining once you get outside, and you can't help but make a face.

"Not a fan of the rain?" he asks you a bit loudly over the pelting of water against the concrete, a smile tugging at his lips.

"It's not my favorite," you admit, wincing, "Where are you parked?"

"You stay here where it's dry, I'll pull it up front."

You watch him dart out from under the eaves of the building, rain immediately soaking his white shirt without apology. You watch with wide eyes as his back becomes visible from the downpour, skin a pinkish brown beneath the suddenly translucent material. You catch sight of two dimples near his lower back before he disappears from eyesight.

You swallow, trying to pretend you don't feel yourself begin to throb within the confines of your underwear, a wetness pooling between your legs that has nothing to do with the rain.

Only a few moments later he's pulling up front, waving at you from behind the car window. You dash forward and feel the rain soak your hair, your skin, your blouse. There was nothing about rain in the forecast this morning so you hadn't thought to bring a jacket with you; you're now regretting that decision greatly.

The passenger side door is already unlocked and you slip inside gratefully, slamming it behind you and exhaling loudly. The rain continues to pelt the windows, the roof, a steady and repetitive sound as you look down at yourself to assess the damage. At least you chose a blue blouse and not a white one, although you can faintly see the shape of your nipples poking through the fabric. A bit self conscious, you cross your arms and huddle forward in the seat.

"Should heat up soon," Javier says beside you, quiet like he'd been in the office, "Seatbelt."

You glance over at him for only a second but regret it instantly, immediately noticing the way the rain has completely soaked his white shirt, exposing the taut and firm muscle beneath, his wide pecs, dark nipples, his flat stomach and belly button, the trail of hair that leads down to...

You grip the seatbelt in your hands and turn your attention to clicking it into place, feeling yourself throb even more. God, he's so fucking hot. You can't blame all the women he's slept with for wanting to get in his pants, he's a fucking Adonis. You take a few deep breaths as he pulls away from the building, focusing on the small bursts of heat that are beginning to radiate from the vents in front of you. You rub your hands together, momentarily forgetting that he could probably see your breasts through your blouse if he looked over.

But that's just it...you never know when he's looking at you. And part of you wonders what would be so bad about him seeing you like this.

You drive together in silence for a few moments, an undeniable tension building and building the longer you both sit there without speaking. Every so often you can't help but let your eyes trail back over to his body, eyeing the way his wet shirt clings to his skin, beginning to slowly dry in small patches from the car heater. You can vaguely make out the shape of a scar on his abdomen and you find yourself wanting to reach out and trace your finger along the length of it, ask him how he got it, kiss it better.

"I feel you watching me, querida," he murmurs, eyes on the road.

Your eyes widen and you sit back in your seat stiffly, "S-sorry."

In your peripheral vision you see him smile, thumbing the steering wheel, "You're always watching me, aren't you?"

You don't know what to say, swallowing tightly around the lump you feel building in your throat. Is he about to call you out? Tell you to stop?

"That's okay, I'm always watching you too," he says it quietly like it's a secret, taking a heavy breath as he continues, "But you know that now, don't you? Steve's a little shit."

You can't help but laugh, which makes him grin wider. He looks over at you and you meet his gaze, feeling shy when his eyes drop to your chest and back up again.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of you," he murmurs, eyes back on the road, "I'll be real gentle, I promise."

You stare at him, slightly confused. It's only a moment later that it dawns on you: you never told him your address.

"Where are we going?" you ask quietly, voice shaking slightly in anticipation.

He gives you another side glance, smiling kindly at you, "I think you already know, cariño."

--

No more than twenty minutes later he has you laid out on his bed completely bare, his mouth pressed firmly against your wet core as you writhe and moan under his touch. His palms are pressed flush against your stomach, holding you to the mattress, never releasing you even when you start shaking uncontrollably from your orgasm. He just keeps going, sucking on your clit and fingering your throbbing hole, nose buried in the patch of hair on your mound.

"Javi, Javi, Javi," you repeat over and over again, thrashing in his sheets, fisting the duvet. He'd told you as soon as he had you in his bed that he didn't want you calling him Javier anymore, and you'd had absolutely no problem with amending your vocabulary.

He hums, giving your clit one last hard suck and making you almost scream with overstimulation, body heaving up off the mattress as he finally pulls away from your core and looks up at you with those big brown eyes.

"That's it, querida, feels so good, doesn't it?" he breathes, crawling back up and pressing kisses against your skin as you come down from the pleasure, heart pounding in your chest, "Your little pussy needed me so bad, didn't she?"

"Yes," you whimper, voice weak, unable to say anything else as he continues to kiss along your breasts, your neck, your cheeks. His mustache is soft and welcoming against your skin, tickling every inch of it in the best way possible as he worships you.

You can't believe you're even here, lying in his bed, lights dim as the rain continues to pelt the windows and drench the city while Javier drenches you. He's still wearing the white shirt, still damp and tucked into his jeans. You reach forward and pull at his belt, fingers trembling.

"Oh, cariño," he coos, kissing the corner of your mouth hungrily, "Want my cock now, do you? Thought that might have been too much for you."

You shake your head quickly, feeling tears sting in your eyes at the thought of him not giving you what you want, "Please," you whisper, voice breaking, "Please, Javi. I need it so bad."

"You do," he agrees, hands trailing upward to squeeze your breasts, thumbing your hard nipples, "You need to get fucked, knew it from the moment I met you. Knew it had to be me to do it."

"Why didn't you say anything?" you ask, voice breathless as he begins to undo his belt, "Why didn't you talk to me?"

"Because you're so pretty, hermosa, so pure," he tosses his belt to the ground and reaches for the hem of his shirt, yanking it over his head. Your eyes fall to his bare chest, his stomach, so much clearer now than they'd been through the wet fabric. He's absolutely perfect, and you feel yourself salivate as you reach up to palm the soft skin of his belly, feeling the hair under your fingertips, tracing the scar you'd seen earlier. He grabs your hand gently, squeezes it, "I knew if I talked to you, you'd end up right here. In my bed."

"And that would be a bad thing?" you whisper, eyes searching his, "This is bad?"

He shakes his head quickly, unbuttoning his jeans, "No, querida, this isn't bad. This is what you need, I know that now," he unzips himself and your jaw goes slack when you see that he isn't wearing any underwear, his cock completely bare and on display beneath the denim. He pulls himself out, showing you how long and thick he is, cut and curved, leaking from the tip. Some of it drips onto your tummy and you both watch it dribble down your skin, dipping into your belly button, "You need it," he whispers, "Knew it when you started looking at me like that."

"Like what?" you breathe, still staring at his large cock, wondering how it'll possibly fit inside you without splitting you in half.

"Like the way you're looking at my cock right now," he says softly, shuffling forward a bit on the bed, "Now, sit up, okay? Give it a kiss."

You don't need telling twice, scrambling amongst the sheets and crouching forward to envelop the head of his cock inside your mouth, warm and sticky on your tongue. You close your eyes, feeling them almost roll back in your head as you suck gently and swallow down his precome, tickling the back of your throat.

"Gonna see how much you can take, okay?" he says quietly above you, and you feel his hands in your hair, stroking your scalp reassuringly, "You can stop if it's too much."

You slowly move forward to take a few more inches, eyes still closed, only opening again when you feel his hands grip your hair tighter. You look up then, eyes lidded and heavy, and he's looking down at you like you're the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

"Such a pretty mouth," he murmurs, thumbing the base of your neck, "Just made to have my cock in there, huh?"

You nod slowly, breathing through your nose and pushing yourself further, wanting to take as much of him as you possibly can. You get about three quarters down and feel the tip prod the back of your throat. You still, inhaling deeply and feeling tears well in your eyes, silently begging yourself not to gag.

"Just a little more, querida," he whispers, stroking your hair, "You can do it, I know you can."

With his soothing encouragement you slowly take the rest of him, not stopping until your nose is buried in his pubic hair. You inhale again and your senses are overwhelmed by his masculine, sweaty, musky scent. It's heaven. You open your eyes and look up at him, tears welling over and spilling down your cheeks.

"Oh, baby," he says, biting back a moan, "That's so good, knew you could do it," he feels you trembling on his cock, throat closing around the head, and he carefully slides you off.

You start coughing immediately, drool running down your chin in long ropes. You'd feel embarrassed but he's smiling at you, leaning down to press kisses to your forehead.

"You did so good," he praises, wiping your chin with his thumb and kissing your lips tenderly, tasting himself on your tongue, "Took all of it so well, querida."

"I can do it again," you say quickly through another cough, voice rough, "Just gimme a second."

He smiles wider and shakes his head, "I know you can, but you don't need to, not tonight. Just wanted to see if you could take the whole thing in that pretty mouth," he thumbs your lips and you immediately capture it between them, sucking his thumb feverishly. He groans slightly, watching it disappear, "and now that I know you can... we need to see how well it fits inside that perfect little pussy, hm? Think it'll fit?"

You nod immediately, releasing his thumb with a pop, "I'll make it fit."

He groans again, getting off the bed and pulling his jeans down his legs, "That's what I like to hear, baby." He pulls open his bedside table and grabs a condom, tossing it over to you, "Now put that on my dick, cariño, gotta be safe."

You shuffle to the edge of the bed, ripping the condom open with your teeth and sliding it down his length. You feel his eyes on you now; you'd never been able to feel it before, had no idea he'd even been looking at you, and now it's like his gaze is burning your skin. You lean forward and press one more kiss to the head of his cock, smirking when it twitches.

"Come here, hermosa," he mutters, taking your hand and carefully pulling you off the bed. You both stand there naked in front of each other as he leans down to kiss you tenderly, hand trailing up to press flush against your back. He's so beyond everything you could have ever hoped for; you still can't believe this is actually happening, "Stay there for a second," he whispers.

You watch as he gets on the bed and sits at the top, back leaning against the headboard. His cock stands stiff and inviting beneath him as he splays his legs out and opens his arms.

"Sit on my cock, querida," he breathes, and without any hesitation you climb into his lap, legs shaking as you grip his shoulders and hover above him, "Nice and slow," he whispers, fingers digging into the flesh of your hips, "That's it."

The tip of his cock breaches your entrance and you keen at the sensation, still shaking slightly as you slowly ease yourself down on him. You're so wet, his length slipping inside easily at first, but once you get about halfway down your hips stutter and you whimper.

"You got it, baby," he breathes, thumbs splayed across your belly, "Not much more," he pushes inside a bit further and you cry out in ecstasy, burying your face in his shoulder. His hands move to your back, holding you tightly against him as he continues to fill you, not stopping until he bottoms out, "There," he murmurs, rubbing circles into the skin of your back, "That's all of it, cariño. Did so good, taking it so well for me."

You sit like that for a few moments, him whispering praises in your ear and rubbing your skin soothingly. He's so thick inside you, you've never felt so full. After a few more moments he carefully grips your hips and slowly begins to move you on his cock, up and down, watching your expression and reveling in the whines emitting from your throat.

"That's it," he says, brow furrowed as he keeps his eyes on your face, "That's what a real cock feels like, querida, and it's the only one you're gonna get from now on." Your face scrunches up in pleasure and you find yourself hiding in his shoulder again, wrapping your arms around him and starting to move your hips to match his pace.

"Javi," you whimper, feeling the head of his cock pushing against the deepest part of you every time you brace down, "So big inside me, Javi."

"I know, cariño," he murmurs, soothing you again with a gentle rub to your back, "Filling you up so good, huh?"

You hum and let yourself go, nose pressed into the dip of his collarbone as you still on his cock and let him go back to working you up and down, murmuring in your ear about how good you feel, what a perfect girl you are, how you'll never fuck anyone else but him for the rest of your life. And you want to believe it's true.

"Work won't be the same anymore," you say against his skin, voice muffled.

"Christ, baby, you're thinking about work?" he taps on your neck and you pull back to look at him, shivering as he continues to fuck you relentlessly as he speaks to you, "Don't think about work right now, querida, not when I've got my cock buried inside you."

"I want you to start fucking me at work," you say suddenly, brow furrowing in pleasure as he hits the deepest part of you again, "In secret, please."

He stills for a second, surprise appearing on his face before he smiles, starts fucking you again with even more fervor, grunting with very thrust.

"Of course I will, baby," he says, pressing his forehead against yours, gripping your hips tighter and fucking you fast and hard, so much so that you feel yourself writhe off the bed again, fingers clasping around nothing as you moan loudly, "I told you, ever since I met you I knew you needed this, needed my cock," he kisses you then, wet and hot, and you feel the tension in your belly start to build, "Gonna give it to you every chance I get from now on, I promise."

You whimper at his words, fucking yourself down on him as hard as you can and letting out cries of pure bliss as he begins to hit your favorite spot over and over, so impossibly deep inside you that you think maybe he will split you open. He rises off the bed with you a bit, holding you tight to him as he wildly bucks into you, bringing you closer and closer to the edge.

"Gonna come, hermosa," he whispers in your ear, breath hot and sticky against your skin, "Give me one more, get that pussy all wet for me," you let out an inhuman sound and feel yourself involuntarily bite into his shoulder, making him groan.

"I'm sorry," you moan, pulling back and seeing the crescent shaped mark in his flesh.

"For what?" he groans, and you feel his thumb start to prod your clit, rubbing it furiously, "Do it again, baby, mark me up, make me yours," you feel your orgasm overtake you at the words, fingernails digging into his back as you writhe and cry in his arms. Without hesitation you bite down on him again, not hard enough to break the skin but enough that there will most certainly be a mark there tomorrow.

He groans at the sensation, pulling you impossibly closer and stilling inside you as he pumps the condom full of his spend, twitching inside you at every pulse. He doesn't pull out right away, just lays still within you while you pant against his shoulder, eyeing the purple mark beginning to bloom on his skin.

"I bit you," you say, eyes wide.

He shifts slightly beneath you, cock still filling you up as he chuckles, "Yes, you did."

"I'm sor-"

He puts a hand up, shaking his head, "Don't apologize, cariño, I like it."

You nod slowly and carefully pull yourself off his cock, already missing the full sensation of having him deep inside you. You lay back on the bed beside him, eyes closed as he disposes of the condom and then settles himself tightly against your side, spooning you and pressing gentle kisses to the back of your neck.

"Did you mean what you said?" you ask quietly, eyes still closed as you feel yourself begin to drift off in his embrace, "Will you really fuck me at work?"

He laughs, gorgeous and perfect in your ear, "Yes, mi sol, I meant it."

--

Javi takes you home early the next morning so you can change your clothes, not wanting Steve to know about what happened last night, as much as it would probably tickle him to know he had a hand in it. He waits for you outside, listening to the radio in his car and squinting against the bright sun, fingers tapping against the base of the window absentmindedly. After a few moments you come back out, wearing a yellow blouse this time in honor of your new nickname. He smiles radiantly at you and you know you made a good choice.

You both manage to keep Steve completely in the dark for the first part of the day; Javi goes back to ignoring you the way he usually does, which you have to admit makes you feel a little bad. But it's all water under the bridge when he follows you to the women's bathroom around noon and locks you inside one of the stalls with him. A few seconds later his cock is hitting the back of your throat as he proves to you that he wasn't lying.

--

"What's that?" Steve says in the late afternoon, only about an hour until you can go home. You look up from your desk but he isn't talking to you, his gaze fixed on Javi.

"What?" Javi replies, brow furrowing as he looks down at himself, "Got a bug on me or something?"

"No, you have a bite mark on your shoulder," Steve says matter-of-factly, and you feel your cheeks go hot, eyes widening as you stare at Javier and watch him figure out what to say.

He just shrugs coolly, "Yeah, slept with this wild bonita last night, she wanted to mark me," he looks back down at his work, "Your wife ever do shit like that, Murphy?"

Steve sighs deeply, leaning back in his chair, "No, she doesn't."

"Thought so," Javi smirks, still not looking up from his paperwork, and you watch as Steve twists his mouth into a scowl, shaking his head.

A few seconds later Steve's looking over at you, giving you a small look of what you can only describe as sympathy, "Sorry," he mouths, shrugging dejectedly, "My bad."

You give him a smile in return, shaking your head, unable to help the rush you feel at not getting caught.

"It's okay," you mouth back, "I'll get over it."

You know Javi is watching you this time.

thank you so much for reading! i hope you enjoyed it and here's my kofi if you'd like to leave a tip (entirely optional of course but much appreciated).

[oizysian]

Secrets | Wanda Maximoff & Natasha Romanoff

Requested by @sashawalker2

Summary: How do Wanda and Natasha react to finding out Y/N was a victim of Hydra?

Word count: 1.2k

•

“When were you going to tell us you were experimented on by Hydra?”

“I don’t know, Wanda. There never seemed to be a right time.”

“Would’ve been nice if we had known before going to bed with you.”

“What’s the difference, Nat?”

“It’s like we slept with a stranger. We don’t even know you anymore.”

I blinked at them, pushing the tears back as the two women that meant everything to me looked at me as if I was a total stranger.

“I’m still the same person.”

“You’re not.” Nat insisted. “You lied to us.”

“I didn’t lie! I just … neglected to mention it.”

“What else did you neglect to mention?”

“I may have forgotten to tell you guys that I maybe have … some powers.”

Nat all but rolled her eyes and Wanda just continued to stare at me.

“What powers?”

“Not many!”

“What powers, Y/N?” Nat had clearly lost her patience.

“I’m strong and I can heal, okay?” I was ashamed of my past, of my powers, and being forced to out myself in front of my girlfriends was embarrassing.

“How strong?”

“I can hold my own against any of you.”

“Not without proper training.” Nat mumbled and I glared at her.

“Try me.”

“Okay, okay,” Wanda finally spoke, getting in between us before we started fighting right in front of her. “Y/N,” her voice was soft. “Why didn’t you just … tell us?”

“I was scared, okay? I was scared and ashamed.” I turned away from both women, my hands shaking with rage. “I hate what happened to me. I hate what they made me. I pushed down all my strength and all my abilities so I could just be normal.”

I turned back towards them, tears threatening to fall as I pleaded to them with my eyes.

“Is it such a crime to have wanted to put all that pain and torture behind me and just … pretend?”

Nat swallowed roughly as she listened to my words.

“You could’ve told us.”

“I couldn’t.” My voice broke. “I worked so hard to put all of that behind me. Telling you would’ve undone everything I did to be the person I am today.”

“But we told you who we were. That wasn’t fair of you, Y/N.”

“I know,” I turned to Wanda, hoping that at least she would understand me. “And I’m sorry. I just didn’t want either of you to think that I was some Hydra agent undercover or something.”

“And what if we do?”

“Do you?” I directed the question at Natasha, but then turned my attention to Wanda. “Do both of you really think I’m a Hydra agent? After everything I told you? After all we’ve been through?” I yelled, my chest heaving and my tears finally falling.

Wanda’s eyes shifted to the ground, but Nat continued to stare straight at me.

“Wouldn’t I have killed both of you already? Maybe while I was fucking you so hard you were screaming my name -”

Natasha’s fist collided with my face before I even had the chance to react. I barely flinched at the blow, even though she had used all her strength and channeled her anger into the hit. I sighed, knowing full well that I deserved it for how I spoke, but disappointed that she resorted to violence.

“Natasha!” Wanda cried, but I raised my hand up toward her, telling her it was okay.

“I deserved that.” I breathed, watching as the realization finally crossed her features that I had taken a hit from her and didn’t even take a step back. “I shouldn’t have brought that up, I’m sorry.”

“Y/N,” Wanda said my name softly, slowly approaching me. “I don’t think you’re with Hydra. I don’t think you have an evil bone in your body.” She took my face in her hands and looked deeply into my eyes. “You need to be honest with us from now on. No more secrets.”

I nodded, my eyes filling with tears once again at the softness of her voice. I thought she would’ve been angrier than Nat, but I guess she understood my desire to put it behind me to an extent.

“No more secrets. I’m sorry.”

“I know you are. It’s okay.”

Nat stood back and wordlessly watched us, still as the dead while Wanda comforted me. She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me to her, hugging me, and I watched Nat from over her shoulder. Her face was unreadable, blank, but I knew her well enough to know that she was mulling over everything that happened.

“They took me as a child,” I began, looking Nat directly in the eye. “I was tortured for years, injected with god knows what until I was finally able to escape.” I swallowed roughly, blinking away tears. “I can’t tell you how many of my bones were broken, how much of my body was destroyed just for it to repair itself within minutes and for the torture to start all over again because of it.”

“Y/N, you don’t have to …"

“I want to.” I gave Wanda a slight squeeze, letting her know it was okay, and continued. “I wasn’t the end goal. I was just a guinea pig. They were just going to use me until I finally died.” I scoffed. “Unfortunately for me, they made it almost impossible for me to die from anything other than natural causes.”

I sniffled softly and I felt Wanda’s arms tighten around me in support.

“I can’t even kill myself.”

“Y/N, don’t.” Wanda spoke against my neck and I could feel her own hot tears against my skin. “Don’t say that.”

“I tried.” I grabbed onto her, burying my face in the crook of her neck. “I tried to kill myself so many times, but I always wake up. I always wake up.”

I could sense Nat approach before I felt her arms around the both of us. Wanda was full on crying at this point and I was doing my best to hold and comfort her. As Nat embraced us both, and I could’ve sworn that I heard her crying too.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.”

I looked up at her, her eyes shining with tears. I leaned toward her and pressed my lips to hers and she responded in full, kissing me back while we held Wanda.

“I’m so sorry.” She whispered against my lips and I shook my head.

“Don’t apologize. I was the one who was wrong.”

“I was an idiot. I … hit you.”

“Which I deserved.”

“No, you didn’t. I lost myself.”

“It’s alright. I’m fine, see? Not even a scratch.” I tried to make light of it to try and make her feel better.

I knew it happened in a moment of passion and I truly did deserve it. I had deserved everything that happened to me. I knew that.

Before I could voice another thought, Wanda lifted her head up and kissed me, her lips trembling.

“I’m - I’m fine.” I breathed softly, her green eyes searching mine. “I’m fine, Wands. I promise.”

“I don’t want anything to come between us ever again.” Wanda’s voice was small and she sniffled softly.

“Nothing will. Ever. You two mean so much to me. More than you’ll ever know.”

[zoesmp4]

PHOTOGRAPH “we keep this love in a photograph.” carl grimes x fem!reader

tags: angst, death, use of y/n, 8x9, some fluff

a/n: first angst, i was bawling my eyes out while writing this 😓. based off photograph by ed sheeran, lyrics r in italics. i hope ygs enjoy!!

loving can hurt sometimes. you never really understood how much until now.

FLASHBACK. 

“we should do something.” carl says, fiddling with your promise ring which he got you. he saw it while on a run and thought it was pretty, “pretty items for a pretty girl.” he thought. you were sitting criss cross applesauce in front of him, him doing the same. both of his hands were interlinked with yours, giving light squeezes. “and what’s that?” you ask. “we should take a photo. you know for the future.” “for the future?” “like to show our kids.” you wanted to kiss him until you couldn’t breathe. did he really just say that? did he mean it? this boy would be the death of you. 

“wait okay so- i just do a random pose?” you say, looking at the camera carl held in his hand. “up to you baby.” he never failed to make you feel special. you were so in love, and you knew he was too. “m’ ready!” “sweet.” he angles the camera to fit you both into the frame before you press your lips onto his cheek. his lips curve up into a smile before you hear the click sound from the camera. 

carl held the photo of you both in his hand, examining every part of it. mostly examining you. the way your hair fell perfectly upon your face, the way your lips looked perfect on his skin. god, he just knew he was going to make you his wife one day. you giggled at the light kiss stain you left on his cheek. 

PRESENT TIME.

you held the necklace you got when you were fifteen, heavy tears flowing down your face at a rapid pace.

FLASHBACK.

“carl.. you didn’t.” you say, looking at the beautiful silver heart locket in the small black box carl handed to you. “you like it?” he says, grinning from ear to ear. “i love it. i- you didn’t have to.” you say, your eyes getting mistier by the second. “don’t cry pretty girl.” he says, putting his hand on your cheek. “i love you so much carl.” “i love you more.” 

PRESENT TIME.

holding him closer til’ our eyes meet. did it have to end like this?

FLASHBACK. 

“carl you can’t leave me like this. i wo- i won’t allow it. this isn’t fucking fair.” you say, hitting carl’s chest softly. you were so angry, and sad, you didn’t know how to feel. “y/n you’ll be fine. i know you will. you’re a strong girl. it’ll b-“ 

“what about- what about the plans we made? who am i supposed to talk to late at night when i have nightmares? w-who am i supposed to cry about stupid things to? carl i can’t do this without you.” you started to choke on your words, the realization hitting deeper and deeper that you would never get to see, to talk to, to hold, to kiss, to love carl grimes ever again. 

carl pulls you into his chest for one last hug. you embraced him tightly, trying to make the best of it while it lasted. he then cupped your face and pressed his forehead onto yours. “my girl, my y/n, i love you.” 

PRESENT TIME.

you kept his last words deep within your soul. your hands quivered as you slowly opened the piece of paper which carl left for you. your heart stopped when you saw his handwriting. all of his words written on the paper. you wished it could’ve lasted longer. you wished you had more time with him. 

“my dearest y/n. i remember when we first met. you looked so scared. you were always quiet, always alone. i felt so bad for you. i would always admire from afar, watching the wind blow through your hair. you were so pretty. i don’t know how i ended up having you as my girlfriend, but it’s the best thing i could’ve ever experienced. 

i know you’re sad. i know you’re angry. i’m frustrated too. i meant it when i said i wanted to show the photos to our kids. i meant it every single time i said i love you. because i am truly in love with you. every part of you. and nothing will ever change that. in another lifetime we will reunite once again. i will always be with you. don’t ever be scared. we keep this love in a photograph. we made all of these memories for ourselves.

so you can keep me, hidden in the pocket of your ripped jeans. you won’t ever be alone. wait for me to come home.” 

you look at the photo which fell to the floor while you were reading the letter. quiet laughs mixed with sobs come out of your mouth when you remember that day. forever you will have this memory. captured in a photograph. 

[fluideli123]

Sonadow Fic Rec

Okay, before you jump down to the masterpieces listed below, I just wanted to state this:

These authors have given this phenomenal content for free, baked with time and effort. I have never once ignored this, hence why I try and comment on each and every one of these fics. However, my energy and ability to be verbose differs day to day. Some of these fics I have not given proper comments for, despite this, I will be on it the moment I can be. In the time being, (once I am able to find my comments on each of these fics) I will be sharing my adoration for them further in other posts (and most likely link back to this one).

With that being said, please, PLEASE take your time to check each of these fics out. If they're not your cup of tea? Valid! But hands down I have never dedicated myself to making a fic rec like this until now. But I MUST share and spread these works, they are much too dear to me not to, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

(All fics are listed by order saved in my bookmarks, not in the order read)

tangled threads and bite-marked shoulders by @rubyiiiusions

Words: 32,287 | Series | Complete

Shadow hissed in pain. The laser had just grazed him, but it still stung, and he instinctively gripped the wound it left on his arm. “You dare-” He stopped. The laser hadn’t hit him. In fact, it had struck Sonic, right on his lower left arm. So why did his forearm feel like it just got shot? He whipped around, fear climbing up his throat, and he suddenly became hyper-aware of something new. It was like a sixth sense, feeling the confusion that emitted from Sonic’s fur in waves as if it was his own. “What did you do?!” Shadow snarled. or, eggman accidentally soulbinds shadow and sonic, and no one has any idea how to undo it.

Sleepwalking by Tirainy

Words: 22,117 | Complete

'There is a strong arm curled around his torso, the appendage keeping him close to its owner, whose warm breath is ghosting over the back of his neck. Sonic is sure he went to bed alone the previous night, but he isn't worried about the intruder. After all, this isn't the first time this has happened…'

Secret Admirer by @trenchcoat-gecko

Words: 24,313 | Complete

Sonic understood well what it meant to be loved. He was a world-famous hero, after all; his presence never went unnoticed. For the most part, he lavished in that attention, he soaked it in and encouraged it. But not romantic attention. So, when the blue blur found himself falling in love? Well, the prospect was rather daunting, no matter how easy Amy had made it out to be. So maybe, just maybe, he should just take the easy way out...

Rose Drops Series by @magicstormfrostfire

Words: 122,489 | Series | Complete

Love, Intuition, and a little bit of magic ensues as Amy sends Sonic and Shadow on an unforgettable adventure.

Wolfboy by @trenchcoat-gecko

Words: 73,856 | Complete

World-famous monster hunter Shadow the Hedgehog has a job to do. It doesn't take long for the one-shot wonder to realize that this job won't be as simple as he'd expected: a small town, rumors of a lone werewolf, and a handsome, green-eyed, chronically-injured casanova who manages to worm his way into Shadow's heart... What starts off as a simple job turns out to be something much more life-changing.

Blizzard Bedfellows by @magicstormfrostfire

Words: 21,294 | Complete

When a rare blizzard takes over the island, Sonic is on the run to make sure a certain angry loner is safe and sound. Y-you know, because...uh that's what heroes do.

We never met but can we have a cup of coffee or something? by @whitejungle

Words: 3,630 | Complete

It's been almost two months since Sonic lost someone he didn't even know, but he can't stop thinking about it.

Clean Slate by nottheweirdest

Words: 155,880 | Complete | Note: Squeal pending and I am cheering you on author!! Whatever you decide I am excited to support you!!

Shadow has lost himself before. He knows what it's like to straddle the line between reality and false memories, but this time, it’s Sonic whose memory has vanished. A premeditated set of circumstances and an accidental injury leave Sonic with no memory of who he is, his life, or more importantly, his painful history with Shadow. It’s up to Shadow to remind the hero who he is in the midst of a global outbreak. It’s a chance for redemption. It’s a chance to right the wrongs of the past. It’s a clean slate.

say i reckon (i love you, for a millisecond) by @redamancering

Words: 30,205 | Complete

There’s a hand on his shoulder, barely making contact. A red gauntlet glows around the wrist. Sonic blinks, the pain having evaporated so fast he feels almost weightless. “Shadow?” Shadow’s breathing heavily. “Problem.” The retrieval of the ancient tech Shadow (and Sonic, in tow) has been sent to uncover takes a turn for the worst. In this case, the “worst” means… becoming physically and inextricably linked to each other. For the foreseeable future. OR: Metaphysical handcuffs, and general gay buffoonery.

Judge my sins, not my feelings by yellothebeeloved

Words: 228,479 | Complete | Note: Possible one-shots pending from the author for the series, I am here to support you author!! What ever you decide I'm here for it!

Maybe he's not meant to touch. It's the newest excuse he thought of in hopes that he could prolong the game a little more; a careful ruse to enjoy the bittersweet torture of seeing the days pass them by, while he pretends he doesn't seek azure blue whenever he's restless. At first, all he wanted to do was watch: but now the desire to touch, to have, to affect is at a point where he's not sure whether reaching for Sonic would truly be fruitless. He wonders that especially when Sonic's eyes light up upon seeing him. When he corners Shadow, when he invades his space and he touches and takes and then excuses it by calling it a fight. Shadow truly wonders then: if only he was brave enough to reach out, what would his grip find? Loose stars or a battle-worn body? Standing up, he glances at Sonic again, whose eyes have now met his own. There's something heavy in the eye contact, something Shadow doesn't dare name. Neither of them say anything, and yet Sonic's eyes move away from him again, like they did. Shadow warps away, hiding from the stars once more.

Child of Prophecy by @trenchcoat-gecko

Words: 139,321 | Completed

On the night the Mobius Castle was ransacked, the Queen received a prophecy. “One of three will not cry; send him down the river, for you can only save your kingdom if he does not grow up royal.”

Coming Home by nottheweirdest

Words: 55,740 | Completed

Shadow's life has been full of mistakes, some worse than others, but admitting his unrequited feelings to Sonic tops the list. He's spent the better part of a decade ruminating on his regret and hiding from feelings he couldn't bear to face. He never thought he'd see Sonic again, and he told himself that was for the best. Until now. At the bequest of his former rival, and in an attempt to finally get closure, Shadow has returned to Central City. The reason? Sonic the Hedgehog is marrying Amy Rose. And Shadow is invited.

[lilybecca1]

An analysis about "Their feelings becoming one"

So far, this panel still has been a mystery, we still don't know what it's really supposed to mean. Their feelings become one? What feelings? Their love for each other?

Well, as good as that may sound, I don't think that's the case here particularly. In some way, yes, it does symbolize their love for each other, and that doesn't necessarily mean romantic. It's the true, unconditional love for the person that means the whole world to you, who is more important to you than anyone else. At this moment, you can see that realization settle in their eyes as they look at each other. As they realize that the person right in front of them is the one who they'd do anything for.

But let's talk about what "their feelings becoming one" means.

The whole manga basically revolves around their story and how they've grown to accept the sides of the other that they themselves have lacked in the beginning. It began with them, Bakugo's Win to Save, and Midoriya's Save to Win. The story has always revolved around this concept, what it means to be a true hero. Like All Might said, in order to reach their full potential, they have to accept and embrace the other side of the coin too, not just their own ideals on what they believe being a hero is.

“After being a hero for so many years you learn a few things. Striving to be the best, like you, young Bakugou, and caring deeply about people, about rescuing those in trouble, like you, young Midoriya; both of those feelings are necessary in a hero, otherwise they’ll never truly be able to represent justice. That’s why you admire his strength so much, young Midoriya…and I know that’s why you’ve always feared his heart and spirit, young Bakugou. Now that you’ve laid your feelings out on the table, maybe you can understand each other. If you have mutual respect and focus on making one another stronger, I’ve no doubt you’ll become the ultimate heroes, winning and saving people at the same time.” 

That's the real story here, that was the main purpose of the whole manga. It's about their journey on accepting the other's point of view and becoming a true hero. A hero that doesn't only win or save, but both.

In the beginning, Bakugo believed that being a hero is winning at any cost, meanwhile for Izuku, it was about saving at any cost, no matter the outcome. This side of Deku always triggered something inside Bakugo because he never understood why someone would have such a strong desire to help others and save them, even at the cost of his own wellbeing. He thought of it as a weakness, it was something that pissed him off to no end. That was until Deku vs Kacchan 2, when he finally started to see the bigger picture. After having this realization about Deku, and after All Might told him that in order to be the ultimate hero he'd have to accept Izuku's point of view, Bakugo started to focus on saving too, not just winning.

Izuku on the other hand, started off the opposite. He wanted to save and help others more than anything, and to him, it didn't matter coming out as a winner in the end, because to him, saving meant winning. It didn't matter to him what happens to his own body because he always put others over himself. But he always looked up to Kacchan and admired him for his determination to win no matter what, and to him, Kacchan is the image of victory, Kacchan is the embodiment, the symbol of winning. In Izuku's mind, Kacchan always had what he didn't.

His whole view of what winning is supposed to be comes from Kacchan, not All Might. Deku started to view Kacchan as his image of victory at the moment when he saw him stand up to his bullies. And the image of saving is what comes from All Might, as we know from that debut video that Izuku loved.

For Kacchan, his image of winning comes from All Might, but the image of saving has always come from Izuku. Right from that first moment when Deku reached his hand out to him. At first he thought it was pity, but deep down he always knew that it was more than that.

He knew that Izuku's desire to save was stronger than anyone else's, and that's what made him concerned. Because Deku's desire to save was so strong that Katsuki knew he'd go to any lengths to do it. Even if it meant hurting himself in the process.

------

“I’d never admit something like this to your face, but the truth is…when I get riled up and my desire to win surpasses my desire to save someone…without meaning to, I start talking like you. You’re so mean sometimes, and I hate it, but my idea of victory is so tied to the image of you in my head, that in those moments I can’t help but imitate you."

Bakugo wasn't the only one who rejected this side of the other at first. Deku hated it, he used to suppress this desire to win inside of him because he saw that as a weakness too. He knew that saving came first, but upon being riled up, he'd throw that out the window, and he didn't want that. He thought of it as a side of himself that he should reject.

But over time, he has also grown to accept that side of himself, and he started to realize that winning is just as important as saving. His idea of victory is so tied to the image of Kacchan in his head, that he can't help but imitate him whenever he desires to win. Kacchan is the one who gave the Win to Save to Izuku, because the idea of what winning is supposed to look like comes from Kacchan too. Without Kacchan, it wouldn't exist. And without Izuku, Bakugo's Save to Win wouldn't exist either. For Katsuki, the Symbol of Saving is Izuku, and that's why he starts mumbling and analyzing in the last battle. That's why he jumps in knowing that he'll die, because he knew Izuku would do the same.

It has always been them. The story has always been about them, because they complete eachother. They are the two sides of the same coin. Without the other, they wouldnt exist.

Because remember, Izuku's body only moved on its own once he realized it was Kacchan.

And Katsuki's body only moved on its own once he realized that Izuku was in danger.

They are the person that awakens the hero inside of the other. Without the other, they wouldn't be true heroes. They were always meant to be true heroes together, because they push each other to be their best self, and they couldn't reach their full potential without the other.

So I say it again: the story is about the two of them and how they become the ultimate heroes together. The story wouldn't exist without the relationship that they have. THEY give each other the meaning of what it means to be a hero. All Might was always just an ideal, something that planted the dream of being a hero inside their head. But not in their heart. They never needed him, because All Might was their hero, but they were the ones in each others life.

They are two halves, and by embracing the other, they embrace being a true hero as well.

And do they ever become true heroes?

They do, and let me explain it.

This panel right here is very important in more ways than one. I think this panel is meant to symbolize the peak of the entire story, it's meant to symbolize them achieving what they have been working for in the entire manga.

This is the beginning of them being true heroes. Quoting All Might, "both of those feelings are necessary in a hero, otherwise they’ll never truly be able to represent justice". And right at this moment, their feelings become one. This is the moment where they finally embrace both sides of the coin. "Their feelings become one"="Their desire to Save to Win and Win to Save become the desire to Win AND to Save"

It's not Save to Win OR Win to Save anymore. Neither desire is stronger than the other anymore.

Look at Bakugo's panel. Right at that moment when his and Izuku's eyes meet, he realizes that winning isn't as important as it was anymore. He realizes that he desires to save Izuku just as strong as he desires to win. He realizes that winning doesn't mean anything if Izuku isn't there by his side.

And when Izuku sees Kacchan, he realizes that he has to win in order to be able to save him. He has to win this fight, because if he didn't, his world wouldn't have Kacchan in it anymore. He realizes that he has to keep fighting on, for Kacchan. That he has to win so Kacchan can live on in a world where he is safe.

At that moment when their eyes meet, both of their hearts feel that Saving to Win and Winning to Save are equally important.

By embracing the connection that they have, by embracing their other half, the person that completes them, they have finally given eachother the heart of a true hero.

[thebiscuiteternal]

(many, many thanks to @nekoning for indulging my goofy idea)

---------------

"Stupid Qi-ge!"

For all its small squeakiness, Speaks With Lost Shadows' voice echoed around the massive chamber, even briefly drowning out the rippling of the pool that was one of its prominent features.

"If you had just said-!" he sobbed, tears making dark visible tracks as they matted his white fur to the dark skin underneath, "If you had just said-!" His attempts at getting the words out ended in a muffled howl as he buried his face into the collars of his former sect leader's robes.

Yue Qingyuan cradled the small cub that had once been Shen Jiu tight against his chest, his own heart swinging back and forth between sinking and hammering so fast that if he hadn't been a strong cultivator, it probably would have killed him already.

'Ah,' he thought. 'So this is what Lady Aurene meant.'

The goddess dragon had sent him a warning across their speaking bond just before sending her caretakers to escort him across the world between worlds to their home in Tyria.

-"You were honest with him once because you thought that was your last chance. If you are not honest with him now, then this will be."

"Is that-?"

"Not a threat," she clarified gently. "A fact. My hatch-mother and aunt are very adept at reading questions under questions, and they bring those concerns to me. He asks them frequently to check with me how you are doing; he speaks of you with regret. But I have seen many of the pathways that bringing you here could lead down, and all of the ones where you continue to hide the truth will end with him no longer asking those questions."-

A part of him had always been confused and hurt by the way that things had gone after Maiglu Ridge. Of course he had known that his past actions didn't deserve to be forgiven, but comparing the reactions of the spirit that had claimed his shidi's body to the reactions of his shidi's soul in this new one, he now understood-

What a mess.

Paws suddenly smacked against the sides of his face, squishing his cheeks between them and startling him out of the messy tangle of thoughts and emotions. Though they were decidedly bigger than those of a cat or dog, the pads and fur were thick enough that he was at no risk from the claws as he stared down into wide, determined black eyes.

"Qi-ge is very stupid," he agreed as he tilted his head to nuzzle soft fur, drawing a huff from the cub. "But he will do his best not to be anymore."

Shadows huffed again. "He better!" he snapped, then pulled back and blinked at him in realization. "Wait... Does that mean... does that mean you're staying here?"

"I spoke with my head disciple about the possibility. Even if it hadn't been this, I think he was aware that something would eventually keep me from ascending with the rest of the Qing generation, because he wasn't surprised at all. We've done all the advance work for him to take over my position if I don't return by the end of the month."

He gave a small chuckle. "Can't imagine my martial sisters and brothers will be happy about it, but considering..."

Considering they were happy to have you replaced.

Considering he still wears your face and your name like a festival costume.

"If your current family is amenable, then Qi-ge will never leave Xiao-Jiu behind again."

[eisdendrobium]

mind over matter.

pairings : singer!scaramouche x reader summary : in which scaramouche had to choose his career over you. part 2 here!

the lights dimmed as the bass and drums starts playing, scaramouche stands in the center while holding his mic, eyes casting downwards as he prepare himself to sing the lyrics.

Mind over matter Does it matter to any of us?

scaramouche could feel all eyes on him as he sang the first part, his hand shakes a little from stage fright that suddenly surface.

Don't change the subject I'm heavy on your love I missed that train New York City, it rains

he remember how hard it was to leave, how hard it was for him to choose his career over you. Fly to East L.A. in big jet planes You know you're on my mind?

he wonders, what do you think of him after he left you?

And if the world don't break I'll be shaking it

he wonders, do you know that you're not the only one suffering from this outcome? 'Cause I'm a young man after all And when the seasons change Will you stand by me? 'Cause I'm a young man built to fall

the audience lifts their phone, lighting their flash as they sing along with him. looking up to see his fans he holds the urge to tear up as the memory of you clouds his mind.

Mind over matter I'm in tatters thinking 'bout her

will you take him back after he left you that day? Taste my disaster It's heavy on my tongue

will you believe him if he told you that he still love you after all these years apart? All the lights aglow Tokyo snows

will you believe him if he told you that you're constantly occupying his mind till this day? Go to watch the show Curtain's closed I'm watching you this time

well believe it or not, he still follow your socials because it's the only way he's able to have a connection with you, in a way.

And if the world don't break I'll be shaking it

his eyes scans the crowd and he notice a familiar face. 'Cause I'm a young man after all

he feels his breathing stop as he locked eyes with you. And when the seasons change Will you stand by me? 'Cause I'm a young man built to fall

truth is, you've always supported him anonymously. Always adoring the way he thrive for that dream of his.

New York City, it rains Fly to East L.A. In big jet planes You know you're on my mind?

scaramouche really want to alter his gaze elsewhere but he finds himself unable to do so. As it felt like the missing part in his heart is filled when he sees you -- among the huge crowd, raising your flash at him. All the lights aglow Tokyo snows

he feels warm, he felt peace, the stage fright disappear as he tighten his grip on the mic.

Go to watch the show Curtain's closed I'm watching you this time

he could see your eyes widened when he notices you and that made his anxiety rise.

are you going to leave the concert, just like how he left you that night?

And if the world don't break I'll be shaking it 'Cause I'm a young man after all

he raise his arm towards you as he sang the lyrics. He could see the uncertainty on your face and that made him wonder why you came here in the first place.

And when the seasons change Will you stand by me (Fly to East L.A.)

he knew he have to let you go, and so do you. yet can you really? when your bond with him is that strong, can he really? when most of the song he wrote was about you.

And when the seasons change Will you stand by me? 'Cause I'm a young man built to fall

scaramouche lower his head as the band did an outro. and he could hear the crowd clapping and cheering for his amazing performance.

scaramouche finally understand that you were never meant to be his, he's not the right man for you.

he understood how you must felt during your relationship with him, all the effort he didn't bat an eye to because he was too busy chasing his dream.

you gave him all your love yet all he gave you was his goodbye.

scaramouche wished he realizes what he had when you were still his. yet he have made his decision and he's successful now,

no regrets right?

a/n : reblogs are greatly appreciated! and please feel free to comment what you think about this fic ^^

[kairismess]

HIHIII! ik i’ve requested like 300000 times but your works are just so amazing 😣😣 but i’ve always just associated Suna with the song Love Language by ariana grande (it’s quite apparent i love her) for some reason. the song is abt trying to learn your partner’s love language so we can love better and i just love picturing that with him😫 Maybe reader can have that mentality along with the end part of the song with “i’m not what you had before, your ex girlfriend don’t want no smoke… i’m just gon make you my home”. bye i just think it’s so cute lolol 😣😣😣

rintaro's love language . . .

🏐 genre: fluff ~ !

✒️ word count: 645

💭 summary: rintaro's been noticing how strange you've been acting lately around him... almost as if you were trying to get something out of him. he doesn't mind, though—he'd love to give you what you're looking for so badly.

🍥 author's note: OOOOOOOO THAT'S SUCH A CUTE IDEA !!! I LOVE IT !! i hope this is any good :'DD

being seated on this boy's lap was the last thing you expected.

his mint green eyes stared into your own, balancing your weight on his string thigh, bouncing you up and down on it here and there to tease you a little. this is what you wanted though, right? to know what it really was that rintaro was into? to know what he loves to give you and take from you? well, you got it now—now you aren't leaving his lap no matter how much and how cutely you squirm and act all shy under his gaze.

for the past few weeks, rintaro noticed the sudden changes and the subtle glances and gestures you've been giving him; it wasn't so uncharacteristic of you, just a little... a little different. he didn't mind, he loved everything you did, even if it wasn't that obvious. he was a little curious every now and then why you were acting that way, but he figured instead of asking you, he'd beat you at your own game by observing you as you observed him.

you were always offering him some sweets in between breaks, and you always offered to walk home with him and hold his hand all sneakily—you were like a cunning little fox, and he oddly loved seeing you act like you weren't up to anything. he pretended not to notice and went with the flow as you kept showering him with affection, not realizing he had caught on long ago when he noticed your smile was laced with a few undertones of something mysterious. it didn't help your case when he had paid attention and remembered the details of the passing comments you made back then when talking to him, asking him if he had an ideal kind of affection he wanted you to give him.

he never understood what that meant, "a specific kind of affection"... until he caught a glance at your phone and realized what you meant. going on those love expert sites helped you get an idea of how to woo him over even more, but it also gave rintaro the idea that what you really wanted was to see what would make him melt... and fortunately, you hadn't figured it out yet. luckily for him, he was curious as to what your love language was, too—so in a bold gesture... he sat you down on his lap when no one was looking, and wrapped his lean but strong arm around your waist, bringing his face so close to you, that your noses were brushing against each other's.

he seemed so nonchalant about it, too... it was too much for you. your face burned and your lips quivered; you stuttered out questions, your mind ran a million miles an hour—but all rintaro did was peck a kiss on your cheekbone, placing his other arm around you, embracing you. "can i help that this is what i wanna do with you all along?" he murmurs as he gently caresses your waist, humming in lazy satisfaction, leaning his head down on your shoulder, closing his sharp eyes as he takes in the scent and feeling of being this close to you.

"y'know..." he murmurs as he runs his thumb over your tinier palm, pressing down on it gently. "...no one else has ever made me feel this way. i'm not really clingy, per se, but... i'd do anything to have you this close to me for a long, long while." he finished, planting a sweet kiss on your neck, not caring if the others came back to see this public display of his affection for you. he couldn't care less, all he cares about now is giving you what you want—and letting you know that he's more than willing to give you more of this than just this one occasion.

[whimsiwitchy]

I hear the secrets that you keep (series) 

chapter seven: k.

Pedro Pascal x plus size F!reader 

series masterlist

series summary: 24 year old y/n is an insecure and struggling actress in Los Angeles until she finally books a leading role in a big Hollywood movie next to her leading male, Pedro Pascal. A spark of friendship flickers between the two and slowly begins to blossom into something more. As y/n is navigating a new found fame and a new found romance, she fears that a lie she has been sitting on might ruin everything.

Warnings: plus size afab reader, she/her pronouns, use of y/n, swearing, age gap (24/14 years), descriptions of the female body, use of the word fat, descriptions of a bigger body (stretch marks, cellulite, rolls, etc.), descriptions of nudity, sexual themes. 

Please let me know if I missed anything! Warnings may change as the story progresses. 

chapter summary: conversations and intimacy training. 

authors note: Y’all this took me way longer to write than expected. I had something else planned for this chapter but it ended up coming out like this. I really like the first half but I feel like it goes downhill towards the end. This idea is way more complicated to write for than I thought it would be lol. I still hope you enjoy!

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“It never made sense for you to love me.”- Twilight New Moon

Love wasn’t what Pedro and you had- you understood that- but the consistent pain in your chest was telling you otherwise. In your short lifetime, you had never felt such strong emotions towards someone like you have towards Pedro, it was easy with him. He was so respectful and sweet- his charisma and it was all beginning to piss you off. Why couldn’t he just let you do your job and leave you alone? You were grateful for the friendship he had initiated because it meant your on set experience would be easier, but now that everything has gotten out of hand, you honestly wish the line between professional and personal was never crossed.

It's been a short 24 hours since your conversation with Pedro and after your intense two hour cry sesh the night prior, you felt numb. Not numb in a painful way but numb in a sense that you'd accepted what had happened and were trying your best to move forward in a reasonable manner. When you woke up this morning, you spent 20 minutes sitting on your toilet holding two icy spoons to your puffy eyes trying to reduce the swelling as much as you could, trying to hide any evidence of the pain that sat deep in your chest. It didn’t help. 

Keeping yourself busy seemed like the only way to keep your mind occupied on anything other than Pedro. At first, you found it best to read over your upcoming scenes but after about 30 minutes, your head was hurting. Your mind wandered back into the forbidden territory, flashes of Pedro’s award winning smile appeared every time you would read over one of his lines. Seeing his face in your head reminded you of the hurt in his voice and the look of disappointment he had given you. Everything you did brought your thoughts right back to him. You closed your script abruptly and picked up a book instead. You’d been rereading the Twilight series and were currently nearing the end of New Moon. You hoped that Pedro and yourself would have a similar ending, that you two would be brought back together and realize that you needed each other, that you couldn’t live without each other. It was dramatic and cliche but you didn’t care. All of your common sense left your body when it came to him. Thinking wasn’t something you needed to do with him, you just had to feel. You finished a single chapter before shutting the book and giving into the inevitable thoughts that clouded your mind. 

Letting out a sigh, you let your mind begin the analyzing it had been begging to do. The next time you would see Pedro would be in two days. The two of you have intimacy training early that morning and you'd film those scenes later in the afternoon. Having fake sex in front of a room of people isn’t exactly ideal for the first time you’d be seeing him again. Maybe you should reach out to him beforehand, talk things over, but you being the one to reach out first wasn’t something you wanted to do. It didn’t seem like the right thing to do. You had absolutely no clue as to how Pedro was feeling right now. He said he wasn’t mad but the tone of his voice and his body language said otherwise. You didn’t want to upset him more by bothering him before he even had time to process everything. He was at the forefront of your mind and you were praying that he wasn’t as hurt as you were. You couldn’t imagine that he was. 

It never made sense, the connection, the spark, the comfort. It was all too confusing and quick. But you let it happen without much thought and looking back, you wish you hadn't been so stupid. It has never bugged you so much, losing someone, no one ever mattered enough. All Pedro had to do was actually be nice to you and you were a puddle at his feet. It was a little pathetic- but he said he liked you too, so maybe it wasn’t that pathetic. 

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ─── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ─

The next two days passed by way too fast, leaving you in the studio parking lot trying to find the will to leave your car. Your body was filled with anxiety from the thought of seeing Pedro- and from being late. You waited until the very last moment to get out of your car, being late this one time was something you were willing to do to avoid any early interactions with him. With slow strides, you made your way towards the studio doors, to the reception desk, and to the room where intimacy training would take place. 

When you entered the room, Pedro was already there surrounded by a few other people. His eyes quickly met yours before he looked away just as fast. 

“Sorry I'm late…traffic.” You muttered out before sitting in an empty chair across the room, praying that no one saw that you actually pulled into the parking lot 30 minutes prior, sitting in your car staring down at the steering wheel for longer than you'd care to admit. 

As soon as you sat down, a woman immediately grabbed the attention of the room. She introduced herself as Elise, a trained intimacy coordinator. She briefly went over how the training would go, letting us know that we would go through some safety procedures before starting. Elise spoke for about 40 minutes on how important it is to feel comfortable with your co-star and the proper way to go about doing these types of scenes without incident. As she introduced the other crew members in the room, you stole a glance at Pedro. It’s as if he could feel your eyes on him, because he turned around, once again his eyes leaving yours just as quick as they met them. 

“Okay, so before we get started, I'm going to have the two of you do a check-in. Let each other know what you’re feeling and if there's any boundaries that need to be set.” She takes a seat and is talking to one of the other people in the room. Pedro doesn’t move, so you take that as a sign to walk over to him. You were hoping he’d at least be mature enough to work with you without dragging anything personal into it. 

“Good morning.” You took a moment to look at him. He was wearing a pair of charcoal gray cotton shorts with a random graphic tee. You thought he looked divine, drool worthy even.

“Morning.” He still doesn’t look at you. 

You take initiative to start the check-in, letting him know where you’re at today and that you’re ready to go, no boundaries. When he responds, his voice is very mundane and his eyes continue to avoid you. You awkwardly let out a brief ‘cool’ to acknowledge that you had heard  what he had said. There was a silence between you two, leaving the only noise coming from the light conversation from the group of crew members across the room. 

“So, are you guys ready to get started?” Elise asked with excitement in her voice. She was way too cheery for the uncomfortable mood that lingered in the air. However, you decided to match her energy as best as you could to make the day easier on yourself. 

“Of course!” You let out accompanied by a smile that didn’t quite match your tone of voice. 

Everyone in the room was then instructed to make their way to the set. You walked closer to the group of crew members, while Pedro walked slower leaving a good six feet between you guys. The set wasn’t anything too crazy. Just a cliche 70s themed bedroom, filled with orange, red, and brown. A king size bed sat in the middle of one of the makeshift walls with two night stands on either side. There was a funky pattern that lined the walls and a shag rug on the floor that matched. Everyone took a seat at some chairs that sat behind a white taped line that ran across the floor behind a bunch of expensive looking equipment, leaving Elise, Pedro, and yourself standing. 

“Okay, so we’re going to start by giving you a quick rundown of what you’ll be learning today.” She’s opening a binder that she had been holding and starts to spew the details of the scene. 

“So this scene follows Daniel admitting to Janet that he has feelings for her ,this is going to be a very passionate and steamy shot.” She turns towards the set and instructs the two of you to do the same. 

“To start, you’ll both bust through the door into the room. Daniel will be leading the makeout session, slowly pushing Janet towards the bed, but stopping right at the red tape that’s on the floor.” She’s pointing across the room with her pen as she speaks and looks back every few words to make sure Pedro and yourself are listening. 

“Once you’re there, you’ll have a moment to show the love between the characters. At this mark, you’ll both be removing some clothing and Daniel will push Janet onto the bed to crawl above her, leading into sex. Any questions?” She turns to look at the both of you. Pedro shakes his head and you follow. 

“Cool. Okay we’re going to run through it, stopping a few times along the way to choreograph each touch between the characters.” 

This whole process was so fucking awkward. You were trying your best to be professional, but nothing was ever professional when it came to Pedro. Every time the intimacy coach placed his hand on you or vice versa, you felt your body tingle. It had only been a few days but you had already forgotten how good it felt to feel Pedro’s skin on your fingertips. He still hadn’t looked at you, avoiding your eyes when you had to be face to face. 

“For the push, it doesn’t need to be a harsh push. We want it to be more of a sexy playful push rather than a dominant one.” She's speaking directly to Pedro but turns to you right after. 

“When you fall, try to land with your arms propping you up on the bed. Your forearms should be touching the bed, like this. If it’s uncomfortable at all, we can change it up.” She falls back onto the bed to show you her vision. You give her a thumbs up and stand at the red mark on the floor. 

“When you’re on the bed and he starts to climb over you, you’re going to crawl backwards, using your arms as leverage. Let’s have you guys try that out real quick.” Elise steps off of the set and stands past the cameras where the other crew have been sitting. 

She yells a quick ‘action’ and Pedro is pushing you onto the bed. When you land onto the bed, you look up at his face to see that he’s already looking at you with an intense stare. He starts to lean onto the bed to crawl over you and you’re moving backwards as instructed. Once your head hits a pillow, Pedro is fully hovering over you. The two of you never break eye contact and you could feel your heart beating out of your chest, your breath wavering. You could feel the temperature of your body rising rapidly and a slight pulse hit your core. Having Pedro completely over your body like this was torture. His hands were on either side of your head and if you looked down towards his lower body, you could see the weight of his- 

“Perfect!” Elise lets out with an excited squeal, making you snap out of the trance you were under. 

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ─── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ─

Elise had you guys run the full choreography three more times in full, minus the kissing and getting naked part. Once she and the other crew members were satisfied, everyone was sent on an hour and a half break before you all had to come back to actually film. You were feeling extremely hot and bothered. Pedro’s touch was intoxicating and the way he looked at you when he was on top of you made you feel feral. 

You desperately needed to talk to him. You scanned the room and saw him walking out of two large doors that led to the parking lot. Following him, your eyes sweep over the large parking lot as quickly as possible, hoping you’d be able to catch him before he was gone. 

“Pedro!” You called out the moment you found him. He was reaching for his car door but abruptly stopped when he heard his name. 

“Can we please talk? Just give me five minutes. Please.” You knew you were probably the last person he wanted to talk to, but you really needed to clear some of the tension between you two. 

“Okay.” He stands there for a minute before motioning for you to get into his car. When you sit down, you can feel all of the emotions from the last time you were in this seat still lingering in the air. 

“How are you?” You asked genuinely with a hint of awkwardness. 

“Fine.” He huffs out. 

“Pedro please don’t be like that.” You practically begged. You were hoping for a productive conversation but this wasn’t going to do any good if he wasn’t willing to actually talk to you. 

“Like what y/n?” He finally looks at you and he looks pissed. You let out a sigh. 

“Look…I know that you’re mad at me or whatever but I don’t know what else to do here P. I didn’t mean to lie to you and I told you the truth before anything furthered between us. If you can’t forgive me then at least be professional and work with me as a costar. Please?” Your voice began to waver but you held it together. You see his eyes soften slightly. 

“I told you I’m not mad at you.” His voice is soft. 

“Then what are you feeling? You’ve left me in the dark P. I’ve given you space and I understand if you want nothing to do with me, but can we at least talk this out? Let me know how you feel so I’m not jumping to conclusions in my own head?” The car goes quiet, no sound other than the light thumping coming from your nails tapping the center console. 

“You’re so young…” He practically whispers. “You have a whole life ahead of you, I'd only be holding you back baby.” 

Your heart flutters at the endearment. 

“And with how the world works, no one would approve of us. You can’t start out your career like that, having people judge you because of me. You deserve someone your age, someone you can have fun with.” 

“Were we not having fun before I told you my real age? How does that change anything?” You could feel the frustration rising in you. You absolutely hated when people tried to tell you what was right for you. Pedro just struck a nerve he didn’t even know you had. 

“Yea but it’s different-” You cut him off before he can finish. 

“How exactly is it different P…hm?” There's a slight hint of anger in your voice, the patience you once had completely dissolving. 

“You're just a kid.” 

If it were physically possible, you would have steam shooting out of your ears from how angry you are right now. Looking away, you take a deep breath and think over your thoughts before your mouth spews words you’ll later regret. 

“I understand that the age difference between us is way more than you bargained for but I’m not a kid. I am fully capable of making my own decisions and deciding what’s best for me and my career. I appreciate the concern but it’s not your place to think for me. If this whole thing is too much to handle then that’s fine. We can just be friends, or not even friends.. I don’t know P. I just can’t do whatever we’re doing now.” Your irritation falls off towards the end, feeling more hopeless than anything. 

“I don’t want to be your friend.” 

Ouch. 

You’re searching his eyes trying to find any hint that he’s being mean to make this ‘breakup’ easier and not just being mean because it’s the truth. 

“Okay…we can just be coworkers then.” You turn your head forward. All you can feel is the same pain that you had felt that night, but this time it felt final. There wasn’t more guessing Pedro’s feelings, no more maybes. This was it. 

“Y/n…I don’t think you understand.” His hand reaches out for yours but you're moving it away before he has the chance to grab it. 

“Then make me understand P… I’ve been trying to understand.” 

“I can’t be your friend because I won’t be able to be close to you without longing for you every second. It’s been so long since I felt what I feel with you and it’s been eating me alive, sweetheart. All I want to do is be near you, hold you, be with you, but fuck y/n, I shouldn’t want you the way I do. I can’t have you the way I want you.” His eyes were on yours the entire time, showing you the sincerity behind every word.

You don’t know if it’s his confession or the pent of horniness you'd been harboring for the past two hours that made you jump at him but before he, or even yourself really, had a chance to process what was happening, you were leaning across the center console, lips moving with his. All of the tension in your body melted away as Pedro softly grabbed your face with his hands. This kiss was soft and full of passion, like you were making up for lost time. It was nothing short of perfect. When you pull back, you’re smiling. When you open your eyes to see the look on Pedro’s face, your smile drops.

“Y/n we can't do this.” He says giving you a pitiful look and pain tucked behind his eyes.

“K.” 

You’re getting out of the car before he could protest, you needed to get away from him. Slamming the passenger door, maybe a little too hard, you’re practically stomping back to the studio. You decided to get your hair and makeup early to calm your brain down a little bit before you were surrounded by people again. God you were being so childish right now but why would he kiss you back if he still didn’t want you. 

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ─── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ─

You were zoned out the entire time you were sitting in the dressing room getting dolled up for the cameras, only speaking when one of the stylists asked a question. Your brain was working overtime right now, trying to calm your emotions while also trying to focus on the scene you'd have to film in just a few minutes. 

Over the past hour, you’ve been trying to create some sort of plan to get Pedro to change his mind. You didn’t want to lose him, he was too good of a man to fumble, so you decided that you wouldn’t stop pursuing him until he told you to your face that he didn’t want you. What you were planning wasn’t ethical at all and broke all kinds of work relationship rules but your relationship with Pedro had already crossed that line the first day you had met. 

Walking over to the set, you could feel the nerves rising. You wanted to seduce Pedro as best as you could. He was obviously attracted to you and you were going to abuse that. You were hoping that him seeing your naked body for the first time would send him spirling, leaving him no other choice than to want you enough to take the chance and be with you. 

“Quiet on set! Can we get Daniel and Janet on set please? Thank you.” 

You step onto the small platform that separated the set floor from the studio floor and walk over to Elise. Pedro stands next to you, ignoring your presence once again. 

“Are you guys ready to run it?” Elise is asking with a big smile. You could see Pedro nod his head and you do the same. 

“Okay, just make sure you’re doing exactly what we rehearsed. If anything feels uncomfortable let us know and we’ll stop rolling and fix the issue. You guys got this!” Elise raises her hands to give you both a high five and she's walking to sit next to the director. 

“Places!” 

You're both walking over to the door that you'd be bursting through in a few moments. Pedro places his hands on you, preparing for them to yell “action”. You’re looking into his eyes, getting into character and he’s doing the same. 

“Ready baby?” You ask him with a smirk, wanting to fuck with his head as much as you could. His eyes go wide but before he can say anything the director's voice booms over the space. 

“Action!” 

He gives you a nod before diving down to kiss you. He's pushing you into the door that flings open as you walk backwards, lips still attached. When you reach the red mark on the floor, you pull apart from him. Looking into each other's eyes with the love and passion you so badly wanted from him outside of this scene. You’re reaching down to grab the hem of his shirt and lift it, just as rehearsed. He pulls the rest off by himself, leaving you to marvel at his chest for a moment before he’s reaching for your own shirt. You're looking at his eyes but he is trained down onto your cleavage, which is pushed up slightly by your bra. 

When he looks back at your face, you could feel your core pulse in excitement. He had this hungry look in his eyes and you were confident that it wasn’t because he was acting. You grab his face to pull him back into you, continuing to clash tongues and teeth. Pedro reaches behind you to grab your ass, pulling you closer to him in the process. You let out an involuntary whimper. He slides his hands up the sides of your body, trailing his hands to the clasp of your bra. He pulls back and pulls each strap down your arms, letting it fall onto the floor, leaving your chest exposed to him. 

“fuck ..” He lets out but it’s barely audible and it definitely wasn’t scripted. 

He’s pushing you back onto the bed and the two of you began the crawl that you had practiced many times before, never breaking eye contact. Once you were laying down, Pedro hoving over you once again, you started to feel exposed and slightly insecure. Before you can think further, Pedro is pulling down your pants, leaving you in nothing but the lacy black thong that had extra lining that matched your skin tone. He takes a moment removing his own pants, leaving him in a pair of tighty whities. Even with the protective sock he wore for actor protection, you could still see the outline of his dick. 

He crawls back over you, his eyes dark. You reach up to kiss him again and you begin the ‘grinding’ into him. All that was going through your head were the events of the night in your trailer. How he felt against you. Another weak moan slips past your lips and his hands are reaching down, removing the black thong and leaving the skin tone underwear that sat under it. 

This was feeling way too real and you were soaked. You knew that whoever was in charge of cleaning costumes would hate their life when your soaked underwear made their way to them. Your mind refocuses to see Pedro’s own underwear had been removed, leaving him in his own weird skin toned thing, sock thingy. He looks down, pretending to grab his dick and ‘enters’ it into you. You let out a breathy moan, not entirely fake as you imagine how it would really feel. Pedro lets out a grunt and starts to rock his hips forwards onto you. The pressure of his heavy cock was rubbing you a little too good. There definitely wasn’t enough protection between the two of you and if you hadn’t had such a strong attraction towards Pedro, you’d definitely feel uncomfortable right now. He’s kissing you again but all you can do is let out tiny breathy moans into his mouth, trying your best to focus on acting. He’s giving you a nod, signaling to start the big finish. You’re both letting out boasting moans, his head falling into your neck as your hands are clawing at his back. Both breathing heavily, he gives your neck a small kiss. 

You can’t help but let your mind freak out. That kiss wasn’t for the camera, it was out of view. That kiss was just for you. 

“Cut!” 

Pedro makes his way off of you, grabbing a robe that is being handed to him. You slowly got up, feeling dizzy and confused. You wrapped the robe that was offered to you and listened to whatever was being said by whoever was talking. You couldn’t focus even if you had tried. 

You sat in the corner as everyone watched the footage, making sure it was good before releasing the team. Once the director gave the thumbs up, you were rushing back to your dressing room to get undone. 

“You guys were amazing out there, the chemistry was insane. Everything looked so real! I guess that’s why you guys get paid the big bucks huh?” One of the girls in the room gushed about the performance. You simply let out a small thanks to show your appreciation. 

You wanted nothing more than to go home and wallow in self pity over a man that doesn’t want you. You still planned on not giving up but you really needed a breather and a break. 

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Thank you for reading <3

series tag list: @nuetralcolorsenthusiast, @kungfucapslock, @hansilandgretel, @ashleyfilm, @titabel, @fifitheragertot, @maryfanson, @ktluvsmen, @eldauvs, @dionneroyal49, @godlypresley, @bloody-bunni666, @beautiflybybri, @a-beautiful-but-sassy-world, @amo-nix

[bomber-grl]

Flufftober 2024

Day 7: Rainstorm

Pairing(s): Tanjiro Kamado x Gn!Reader

Not proofread

The sun had set and you were still outside, practicing with a wooden sword Urokodaki had given you. He was still teaching you and Tanjiro forms and technique but you took it upon yourself to go the extra mile.

You would’ve continued going for hours if it hadn’t been for the rain splattering against your cheek and the hand that had come to rest upon your shoulder.

You turned and you were immediately faced with tanjiro. His warm gaze was soaking you in and his smile was like no one else’s, finally he spoke.

“You should come inside, you haven’t had dinner yet [your name]” his face was now replaced with that of concern. You couldn’t refuse him, he was always concerned about whether Nezuko would wake, you didn’t want to add onto that fire.

“Yea, I’ll go” you let Tanjiro guide you into the room you two (rather three) shared. He and Urokodaki had dinner a few hours ago, you could only assume that he had saved you some.

The food that was safely stored on the table only proved your assumption right. “The foods right there, luckily Urokodaki let me save you some.” You thanked tanjiro for saving you food and quickly took it into your hands.

You sat on the ground and began to enjoy it, especially after training like that.

You looked up and met tanjiros eyes, he smiled at you fondly. You looked away flustered, how he could smile at you so fondly while you stuffed your face was something you’d never understand.

You finished up and disposed of the left overs and container. Ever since you and Tanjiro had gotten particularly close *cough*- started dating *cough* you two would sleep side by side, in different futons of course.

A particularly loud shift of the panel door caught your attention. You hadn’t realized earlier, far too preoccupied with your food to notice how the storm was raging on outside.

You quickly pushed away the thought and began getting comfortable in your futon. The few hours you still had would make best to spend in sleep.

Tanjiro noticed and quickly expelled the light and went to join you, snuggling into the futon next to your own.

You had just began drifting off to sleep when you slightly turned to your left. Tanjiro was still very much awake and was facing up. Clearly he had something on his mind.

You turned your body to face him, “what wrong?” He snapped out of it and mirrored you, now facing your direction.

“I was just thinking about Nezuko” you hummed, it was natural. That’s all he ever thought about these days. The panel door shook again due to the strong winds outside and Tanjiro smiled fondly.

“A few years back there had been a storm much like this one. Nezuko had always been calm during storms much like these, but our other siblings not so much.” He seemed happy to share the memory of his siblings with someone.

Maybe sharing it made carrying the grief less painful, but it didn’t go away. He had this far off look.

After you showed interest, Tanjiro continued with a story about a particular sibling- her name was Hanako. How she had been so scared of the storm that they all (his siblings and mom) stayed awake telling stories to cheer her up.

At the end of the night they had all bundled up to ensure little Hanako that no “monsters” would get them.

As Tanjiro finished up his story he blushed a little. “I guess I was reminded of the monster that was so feared back then.” You understood the comparison between the weather and monster, the concepts were frighteningly identical.

“Well, thank you for telling me about your siblings” Tanjiro just smiled, happy that you had been there to listen. Even if it was still painful.

“Well” you quickly changed the mood “how about we bundle up together to fend off the monster?”

Your comment was meant to cheer him up- be teasing even. The only reaction you got out of him was one of shock and pure fluster.You did NOT mean to insinuate that you should sleep together.

He had started stuttering in a way you’d never heard before, he quickly calmed down and just nodded. Much to your surprise, he joined you in your futon (albeit a bit squished) and bundled up with you for the night.

When you thought he’d fallen asleep, you quickly pecked his cheek. Though, a blush reappeared on his face, telling you that no, he wasn’t asleep .

The fact made you have a blush that mirrored his own.

-

Now at the butterfly mansion a storm similar to the one of that night presented itself.

It was bad, if anything it was small and harmless. Especially since the corps had to have been built somewhere with zero weather issues for convenience.

You quickly made your way to where you, tanjiro and new companions Inosuke and Zenitsu all sleep while recovering.

You quickly approached Tanjiros side. Inosuke was probably up to some mischief that Zenitsu was bound to get dragged into.

“Do you think we should hide from the monsters together again?” You asked him out of nowhere. He faced you with confusion evident on his face, then it melted into recognition and finally into a smile.

“Of course”

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