#I just needed to fix that you know?
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9 hours without eating 💪 planing on at least 10 :3
Only 322 cals cause I’m build better-
But in better new I haven’t purged in 19 days
#probably not the best thing to do rn#cause I’m sick#but also#the hunger is good for me#I have been eating to much recently#I just needed to fix that you know?#random#vent#tw ed#tw eating issues#in a garden a flower normally withers a bit with out the nutrition it needs but not this flower 💪#more I guess I’m more like a weed#no matter what I just don’t die#even if I want to#/hj#/lh
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going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:
There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’
like wow babe. good fucking point
#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point#not a shitpost#cptsd#and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer#the truth is i know why i wasn't loved#i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings#i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing#i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance#the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it#i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer#and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!!#because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that!#it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs!#so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't.#when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to#you can look for answers and reasons and explanations#but that's not actually going to FIX your situation.#and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job)#because you don't need answers--you need a new situation#*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme*#and yes. walking out isn't always possible.#but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap.#stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air#new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust#like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be#when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole
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It’s finally done, guys – five whole pages of Narilamb AU comic AND MORE be upon you! (If you have trouble reading any of the text, view the full-size! These pages are huge!)
Yeesh, this took forever. <:)
There’s probably a ton of inconsistencies and anatomy/perspective wonkeries, but this was mostly just comic practice, so Oh Hekkin Well, Lol <:D
(Yes, I am aware the Gateway’s door isn’t present in the Afterlife, and the actual way in is just a pentagram portal. Yes, I put the door in there anyway because Artistic License, i.e. it felt more impactful for there to be a prison door of sorts to walk through to freedom, rather than just a bland boring portal on the ground. 😠)
anyway, i hate backgrounds so much lmao
Alternate ending and a buttload of bonus art under the cut, followed by goofy AU rambles and headcanon stuff:
I’m calling it the Revival AU. It’s not all that creative a title, and someone else has probably used it already, but I am too lazy to really care, LOL
Alternate ending page, which you will Definitely need to view the full-size for, Whoopsie Daisy:
The alternate ending was actually the first ending I finished things off with, because I had a brief badbrain moment where I forgot the emotional beat I initially wanted the comic to end on, and I tend to write comedy, anyway. I later remembered and drew out the proper ending, but I preserved and finished this one, too, because it still makes me giggle.
They had to go back for the followers off-screen in the AU’s real ending. And by ‘they’ I mean just the Lamb, because they weren’t about to ask three newly freed cats to go back into what used to be their prison. The Lamb DID spend some time watching Narinder and the bois enjoying the outdoors first, though:
In other news, here’s the Lamb and me making fun of my anatomy-drawing ‘skills’:
Meanwhile, if you’re wondering why the Lamb is just a-okay with how things went down vis a vis Their Murder, this bonus comic should answer at least some of your questions:
Ah, yes, also this is how they get engaged outside of the alternate ending. Forgot to mention that bit. XD (I already refuse to believe that Narinder is capable of flirting normally, so why would his initial marriage proposal be any better???)
Oh, and before any of them get a chance to actually head back to the cult grounds, there is one potential problem:
And by ‘problem’ I mean something Narinder intends to ignore for At Minimum a thousand years. Cuz he’s a petty bitch like that. :D
what do you mean i drew the lamb too tall compared to the background? clearly they’re standing on top of baal and aym lmao, why else would you think those two aren’t in this one??? (aym and baal got way too excited about finally being outside, you see, and their silly modes are nothing to sneeze at)
And, speaking of heading back to the cult grounds, I’m sure y’all would love to know how the Lamb’s followers felt about the brand new change in management:
It all went better than expected. <:D Tiny ramble now, feel free to skip down to the next comic.
Before you ask, no, the Lamb does not have any actual powers anymore, other than the immortality Narinder definitely grants them. The Red Crown just thinks it’s funny to suggest otherwise, and Narinder does nothing to discourage this. Also, the Lamb and Narinder aren’t actually married here yet, but, uh. Pretty safe to say that particular ritual directly follows the events of this comic. XD
Given how quickly he mellows out in canon, Narinder probably chills out a lot in this AU once he’s in charge of the cult, too, if only because 1.) He’s finally free, and 2.) He’s equally smitten with and distracted by the Lamb. He’s definitely in charge at least 95% of the time, though, because the Lamb never actually wanted to be a cult leader and, now that their time as a vessel is done, they just want to be a normal(ish) sheep who’s wholly devoted to their hot new divine husband.
Some followers do still have some valid concerns about these two being together, though, which I’m sure at least a few of you might share…
Unfortunately for any such concerns, the Lamb is a bonafide masochist in this AU. :D
They’re also 100% a sub, obviously
Anyone at all: Your relationship is problematic and potentially toxic
The Lamb: fuck yeah it is, it’s so hot~ OuO
Here’s just the last panel, made transparent for whatever nefarious purposes y’all might have for it:
Additional exchange Narinder and the Lamb have at some point, probably after the Lamb does a fatal whoopsie while out on a mission trip or in response to things getting a little too sadistic in the bedroom, ahaha:
Look, there is a very important distinction between life and death, and if you don’t understand that, then you’re probably not worthy of being the God of Death, anyway. (At least, according to Narinder, and ONLY Narinder.)
Last but not least, have these shittens:
~Such creative naming conventions I have utilized, lololol~ :D Anyway, there's a few deets on them in the rambles down below.
The rest is all ramble, so before I get to that, I’ll just say – likes and especially reblogs are very much appreciated!!! :D If you happen to really really REALLY like my stuff, meanwhile, I do have a link in my bio to my ko-fi page, where I’m accepting commissions and donations if you’re especially generous… ÓuÒ
Now, BE FREE IF YOU AIN’T DOWN FOR READING MY GOOFY RAMBLES
First ramble is re: Baal’s question of ‘Did it really work?’, since I didn’t feel like expanding on it in the comic proper, and it’s arguably pretty vague? He doesn’t ask because he doubts Narinder or his capabilities, exactly, but because neither Baal nor Aym have ever actually seen their god at full power before (he’s still technically not at full power here, either). It’s not expressly stated how soon the brothers were brought to Narinder after his imprisonment, but whether it was early on or after a length of time for Shamura to (somewhat) recover from his attack, he must have already been weakened, since I have no doubts that there was a huge battle that accompanied the Bishops working together to trap him. So, between that fight with all four of his siblings, sharing his power with a variety of vessels over time, and being chained immobile for a thousand years, he must have been severely weakened by the time he lent the Red Crown out to the Lamb, which would have only weakened him further.
I like to think this is how the Lamb is able to defeat him if they refuse to be sacrificed, despite how it took all four Bishops working together to subdue and chain Narinder in the first place.
All that aside, the three cats have been trapped in the Afterlife for so long that Baal also wanted verbal reassurance that they are all, indeed, actually able to leave it now – something that I headcanon isn’t possible without a significant amount of power (i.e. the Red Crown’s cooperation with its bearer/vessel).
(On a semi-related note, I don’t headcanon Aym and Baal as twins. I like sweetheart big bro Baal and snarky little goth bro Aym too much to have them be that close in age.)
Ah, teeny thing: If you noticed I switched up the art style for Narinder on the second page, that was intentional. It's sort of a visual indicator that there has been a Big Change for him - that being, how much power he has after sacrificing the Lamb. As for why I changed up his arms in the grass rollin' pic, I don't really subscribe to the notion that his arms are spooky bones because they're horrifically injured (beyond chain-chafing scars, that is), but rather just because he's the Bishop of Death, so he can change how normal-to-spooky they look at will. At some point I might doodle out how I imagine his appearance to range between least to most eldritch... 🤔
Next ramble, regarding Narinder’s feelings towards the Lamb...he was initially too focused on being freed from his imprisonment to form any real attachment to them. They were a tool for his use, first and foremost, but he did notice their intense devotion towards him. It was impossible not to notice, because the Lamb was always very happy to see him, even if it was because they died during a crusade (yet again). He wasn’t originally planning to revive them once he was freed, either, because he saw no real point to it – after all, they were already dead when they first met him, just as any other mortal would be when meeting him in the Afterlife, so death has very little real consequence in his eyes. But, once the chains were off, and it really sank in that he stood to lose the most devoted follower he’s ever had, he decided…why put their soul to rest for good or leave them stuck in the Afterlife when he could just as easily revive them again? And why not reward them for their hard work, anyway? Not only would it cost him nothing by comparison, but the future devotion that could come of it would surely make up for his (bare minimum) effort in reviving them.
He wasn’t expecting to get a full dose of that devotion and a smiling face so soon after killing them, though~ :3c (because the Lamb is a bonafide freak, and not-so-secretly into the fucked up power dynamics going on here, lol)
I should mention here that I am firmly of the belief that any non-god/vessel who crosses through the Gateway and into the Afterlife just straight up dies. So, Aym and Baal? Also straight up dead, from the second Shamura brought them through. Their souls were just never put to rest so that Narinder could have some company – if only according to Shamura. Narinder kept the two around mostly out of bewilderment, because honestly, who are these kittens, and what is Shamura’s game here, anyway??? They never even explained anything, they just tossed these kittens into the Afterlife and LEFT!!! At any rate, Aym and Baal being dead is how I explain why their souls apparently become lost in the void if they’re killed, along with the added complications required to revive the two because of it.
So, with those deets in mind, and given a bit of time, if Narinder hadn’t chosen to revive the Lamb, and also hadn’t chosen to put their soul to rest, they still would have woken up at some point, despite being as straight up dead as Aym and Baal. Who, don’t worry, were also properly revived while Narinder was waiting for the Lamb to wake up. Because I am also firmly of the belief that, first, the dead cannot leave the Afterlife without the use of a ritual/relic (and can't stay in the living world for long regardless), and second, dead followers’ devotion isn’t anywhere near as potent as that of the living, given how much more the living stand to lose.
Final ramble, regarding the Lamb’s feelings towards Narinder, and why they’re so devoted to him…
Well, you don’t spend most of your life on the run with your steadily-dwindling herd, trying to evade the ongoing genocide of your species, without becoming a little fucked up in the head. Maybe a lot fucked up in the head. Life is suffering, so might as well have fun with it, right? Maybe start finding death and pain to be kind of hilarious, even a little bit hot, once everyone you know and love is dead and gone, leaving you all alone? And maybe after that, there’s something comforting in how, despite the cold, cruel uncertainties of life, at least you can always count on the inevitability of death, patiently waiting for you until your very last breath? Who knows. Either way, as soon as the Lamb was killed, and they learned that the literal God of Death was offering them a second chance at life and vengeance via effective immortality, they were 100% ride-or-die-devoted all at once. Turns out death is kinder than life – go figure. (Of course, it helps that Narinder is 100% their type.)
They weren’t put off by Narinder’s thinly-veiled sadism or manipulations, either – they’re not too different in those regards, albeit opting for vastly different methods. It’s a very ‘two sides of the same coin’ sort of deal. In order to stay alive once they were made the last of their kind, the Lamb had no qualms with using others to their advantage, and that did not change once they were revived and expected to run a cult. They didn’t care for the position of authority, though – being a sheep and all, they’re much more of a follower than a leader, and thus greatly appreciated Narinder’s need for control. With how they had to keep on their toes for so long, the Lamb was also pretty good at reading people by the time they died, so they could recognize that a lot of Narinder’s posturing was just that – posturing. Dude’s 95% bluster and only 5% bite. He could obviously be vicious when he wanted or needed to (the Bishops' injuries were clear proof of that), but underneath his outer layer of cruelty was a generous layer of tsundere, and underneath all THAT was a soft squishy middle sibling velcro cat in desperate need of attention and affection.
(Which, for the record, he Did Not feel comfortable getting from Aym and Baal – Narinder still has no idea why the fuck Shamura sent them to him, beyond acting as keepers at best or trying to sabotage his attempts to escape at worst. Which, he thought HE sabotaged in turn, by guiding the kittens into being his devoted disciples instead. He thought he was very clever for it. ‘I outsmarted Shamura!’ he thought, despite that there was never anything there to outsmart. ‘What do you mean, Shamura sent your kittens to me for company?’ he demands of Forneus later. It may or may not lead him to pull Shamura out of Purgatory just so he can shake them and scream about how they should have Fucking Explained that!!!)
But, getting back on track as to why the Lamb was so willing to be sacrificed, I cannot stress this enough – if you pay even a minimal amount of attention to what he’s saying, Narinder is REALLY NOT SUBTLE about his intentions. ‘Death is of little consequence.’ ‘Followers are for you to use to your advantage.’ ‘Sacrifice a follower to absorb more power.’ So, yeah, the Lamb knew exactly what would be expected of them once the other Bishops were dead. They knew Narinder would expect them to die for him one last time. But, after all, death is of little consequence (not to mention hot), so when the time came, they wanted to see him freed, even if it meant oblivion for them in the end.
He’d given them a second life, and the ability to avenge their kin, and they felt indebted to him for that – so, while they were still pretty glum about the possibility that they might not get to see him free of his chains, nothing beyond their devotion and debt to him mattered. They never wanted all the drama and expectations that came with the Red Crown’s power, anyway, so, better for Narinder to have it back so that he could deal with it. What he did with the Lamb afterward would be up to him, and seeing as he was their god, they’d accept his decision gladly.
Were they in love with him by that point? Oh, obsessively so, but only in the devotional sense – romance was nowhere on their mind nor radar. That is, until he unexpectedly revived them again, told them he still needed them, and then offered down his hand to help them up.
The Lamb fell HARD for him in that moment. :3c
And now, a tiny shitten ramble. Lu and Li are twins, because sheep tend to have those a lot, and are conceived not long after the Lamb and Narinder’s marriage ceremony. Lu is the minutes older one, but Li is much more mature. I have put no further thought into these two, other than that they are utter menaces, birthed by the Lamb, cling hard to both their parents but especially Narinder (who spoils them rotten), and they are both genderfluid, using whichever pronouns/names they feel like at any given time. They are also both intersex, same as the Lamb, who was initially infertile up until Something Something Vague Magic, which I have also put no further thought into ¯\_(シ)_/¯
oh, and before anyone tries to suggest i headcanon this AU’s lamb as trending more female due to them giving birth or whatever, no, no, a thousand times no, they might have a vag, but they've also got a dick, and even if it's not as big as they'd like, they still know how to use it
Finally, the very tentative name for the Lamb in this AU is Yazdi, which is really just another name for the Baluchi breed of sheep XD (Not that the Lamb is this specific breed, I just didn’t like any of the other sheep-related names I found, ahaha...)
THAT’S ALL FOR NOW (collapses into an exhausted pile of goopy limbs)
#fanart#comics#cult of the lamb#cotl#narilamb#cotl lamb#cotl narinder#cotl shitten#cotl mystic seller#cotl aym#cotl baal#aym and baal#this is why i have been especially quiet lately XD#even just the bonus stuff took several days to finish because i don't know the meaning of DOODLE anymore apparently#everything must be fully inked and colored with backgrounds I Fukken Guess#at least using medibang's sumi brush keeps me from focusing on making my lines perfect :\#and yeah i copy-pasta'd a lot of my own backgrounds don't at me bro#if you're on desktop and want to full view but don't know how: right click the image - open in new tab - zoom in as needed :)#feel free to ask questions about the AU if you want - but uh - this is basically the extent to which i've thought it through LOL#edit: oh right - aym and baal really out there assuming narinder already put the lamb's soul to rest so the body's just fodder now lmao#last edit i hope: fixed the transparent cult certified freak image 8|#nope - one more edit: there is one (1) loophole for how living mortals can be in the afterlife without dying#that loophole is currently narinder XD#'sorry universe but the god of death says i can be in here so back off with your rules and regulations'
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Your interpretation of Hector talking with Bauhauzzo post-game (if you can see that happening) would be neat!!
oh the horrors of knowing no one can fix the problem except for you
#you can tell i really hit my stride drawing bauhauzzo at the last possible second lol#great god grove#great god grove spoilers#hector great god grove#bauhauzzo#requests#i have mixed feelings about whether or not hector and the gods would interact or not post canon#but i think bauhauzzo is a pretty good candidate to make those first steps#but knowing hector he'd probably go to him at an absolute low point#and like. he already knows how the conversation is gonna go but god does he try anyways#maybe THIS time divine intervention will fix all his problems#alas#it might just make them worse#hes already lost so much of himself in the process i think.#i truly believe he puts on a brave face but he has no clue what to do with himself anymore#33 years passed in the blink of an eye. you're old and greying and you dont remember how to be a person anymore#anyways yeah#im normal about them#thanks for the request! i really need to draw mr hauzzo more
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getting into both of these games at the same time is pretty funny
#I considered making both of them dark castles but from what I understand isat has a much happier ending (after much of the horrors)#the big difference is that in one the main character(s) takes absolutely no responsibility#and in the other they take WAY TOO MUCH#also “caused” by the main character in sif’s defense he did not know that would happen (and it wasn’t just his wish)#yes I’m only in act 3 but I have been spoiled for a chunk of stuff#time fuckery in mw’s case is the non-linear narrative#though there is a ton of time travel fix it fanfiction#in stars and time#isat#mouthwashing#sorry if the text is hard to read idk how to make it outlined :(#…do I need to tag isat spoilers#whatever sure#isat spoilers#I don’t think I need a mw one#mid-act 5 update: they both have hallways that are Longer than you remember them being#and dreamlike fucked up journeys towards the end
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Hey, man, we all can't be like you -- I wish we were all rose-colored too
{Rose-Colored Boy - Paramore}
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Smashing this song and my headcanon that Dash's dad is in the GIW together to make a fic Idea where the GIW finds out Danny's identity and tells on him to his parents in their hunt for phantom --
Dash's dad leads the operation, him and his team (along with the Fenton parents) cornering Danny after school while he's hiding/running away from Dash, forcing transform in order to get away; unbeknownst to either party, Dash witnesses everything and runs after Phantom to try and help.
Que the two stumbling into and getting trapped in the ghost zone in a confused scuffle while Danny's trying to escape, now on the run from three (3) parents and one (1) secret government organization.
- - - - - - - - - -
I kinda wanna use this premise to explore how Dash would progress through learning Phantom is Danny, and then (separately!) becoming a better person--
-- I think he'd be super annoying about it at first; idolizing Danny, pestering him a bunch about how cool it is to have ghost powers, generally acting way too close with him, and completely pushing aside how he treated Danny before the revelation.
Most of the situations we see Dash become friendly towards/respectful of Danny in-show are usually after Danny has shown himself to be physically strong/confident (see: Pirate Radio), and even then, Dash doesn't proceed to do any introspection at all and continues to bully him.
Conclusion: Learning Phantom = Danny would not be enough to trigger a redemption arc for Dash. This boy needs to learn some empathy.
Dash actively witnessing Danny having issues despite being powerful as Phantom (i.e. fearing and having to run from his parents, the toll fighting ghosts takes on his school/life/mental health, etc.), as well as being confronted with how privileged he is himself (having a loving, attentive family, being much better off financially, etc.) would force him into being more introspective.
Throw in him realizing the parallel between how the GIW treats Phantom with how he treats Danny (i.e. indiscriminate & unreasonable anger & violence), and -boom!- it clicks for him
#please listen to the song it's so good and fits the fic vibe immaculately#I just want my boy to genuinely become a better person#imo Dash will always prioritize Cool Strong Hero Phantom > Nerd Loser Fenton so just knowing danny is phantom would not be enough#bro does not care about fenton. he is too busy fangirling. bro needs to understand that strength and money cannot fix all of one's problems#can you tell micro-management is my favorite episode#could be written as pre-slash or enemies to lovers#danny phantom#dandash#teddy ghost#swagger bishie#dp fic#fic idea#fanfiction
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I love Arson he's my favorite heater but I should really get a cheap laptop one day so I can leave the house to write because the Noise. Is . Too Much. I need to go write in the forest
#I live in a very very full and busy house hold#and sometimes it makes it extremely difficult to work#both on art stuff and packaging#but also writing especially#i have horrible executive dysfunction but on good days ill still try and get thwarted by multiple inturruptions and loud sounds#and on bad days ill just completely shut down from it all#adhd meds and headphones cannot fix Other People In My Space lmao#sara shush#personal#complaining#Unfortunately if i ask to be left alone or for quieter volume i will get neither of those even if i lock my door#I legit have a sign on my door that lets people know when im live streaming and have asked not even volume control just to be left alone#and there will still be knocking on my door for questions like 'can you go get something from the store'#i need. people to understand that if i am busy esp if i am doing packages and stickers and stuff that i am WORKING#please treat it like im at a 9-5 office building somewhere act like i dont exist#you dont just walk into someones place of work and start venting/asking them of things while theyre at their job#'but you're at home' yes and im still working and i have communicated this several times#i did not mean to vent but GOD
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forgot to post this the other day but i gave myself a little nameless ghoul :3
#ramble#the band ghost#ghost bc#tattoo apprentice things#couldn't pull a line to save my life that day#i had to do SO much fixing#i'm going to say it was just a really awkward placement to do on yourself bc it's right under the knee when you cross your legs#the line weight and the shading saved it and the more i look at it the less i hate it#like if you're not LOOKING for imperfections it's fine. and considering it's the 3rd one i've done on real skin#and it's a lot bigger than the others. it's FINE#i know if i got this from someone else i would NOT think 'this is a terrible tattoo'#it's not perfect but it's not bad#my mentor has said i'm being too hard on myself and she's right akdhdhfh#i might go back once it's healed and even out the thick outlines but right now it doesn't need fixing at all
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this just in: danny fenton is just as much of a mask as Brucie Wayne? - another danyal al ghul au
Turns out, being placed in a civilian family who have no knowledge of your background is actually detrimental to the health and development of a child assassin due to lack of proper support! Surrounded by strangers in a foreign city, Danyal Al Ghul does as assassins do best. He hides. Espionage is one of many teachings one learns in the League, and it only takes half a day for Danyal to construct a new persona to hide behind: Daniel Fenton.
By the time dinner rolls around, Danyal al Ghul is safely and securely tucked behind the face of Danny Fenton; brand new adoptive child of the Fenton family who came from overseas. A shy, quiet little boy with a thick accent and curly hair, with brown skin and blue eyes, and an avid interest in the stars. The best fictions are always cobbled together in a little bit of truth, it's some of the only truth he ever lets through. He apologizes in a meek voice for his behavior early, he didn't mean to be rude, and he watches the three of them eat it up with coos.
Lies roll like silk against his lips, he struggles to meet their eyes and offers them his weakest, shyest smile. It's too easy. It's easy to go from there.
Danny Fenton, adoptive son, shy and awkward and unconfident but friendly. Who struggles in his classes and isn't the brightest, but tries his hardest. He makes bad jokes and has a quick tongue and a sarcastic mouth. He wants to be an astronaut. He's got the best aim in school, and is a terrifying dodgeball player. He's one of the least athletic kids in his grade.
It's like playing two truths and a lie, but there's only one truth, and the rest are lies. It's easy to pretend when he knows it's insincere.
Danyal Al Ghul, grandson to the Demon Head. Deadly, trained assassin. Has spilled blood, has had blood spilt from. Environmentalist, animal activist. He loves the stars. He owns a calligraphy set. A sharp tongue, an even sharper blade. He's clever, quick-witted, he would be top of his grade if he tried harder. He purposely doesn't.
He misses his family. He misses his mother, and he misses his brother. Mother visits a few times a year, so few times that he can count it on both hands. He cherishes every visit, as brief as they are. It helps remind him who he is.
Sam and Tucker are Danny's best friends. They've never met Danyal, but Danyal's met them.
It becomes routine to become Danny Fenton. As familiar and as easy as pulling on a shirt in the morning. Danyal wakes up and is always first to the bathroom in the mornings; stares at himself in the mirror until he can finally see Danny staring back at him. At night, he locks his door and sheds the mask.
Dying throws a wrench in his mask; splits a crack straight through the porcelain. He's able to smooth it over with sandpaper and liquid gold, but it's a little hard keeping his ghost form under wraps. It instinctively wants to shift to show his true self. Danyal can't have that, he's spent four years as Danny Fenton, he'll spend another four as him as well. Even if the feeling of the hazmat suit in his ghost form feels restrictive, like a too-small shirt suctioned to his skin that needs to be peeled off.
He'll live. Er-- well, you know what he means. It's frustrating however, trying to keep his Danny Fenton mask up even as Phantom - fighting in the air is something he needs to get used to, and the sudden propping of powers throws him off. But he is nothing if not adaptive, and he hates that he needs to slow his own skills down in order to keep pretenses up in front of Sam and Tucker.
The first time Danyal summons a sword when he's alone, is one of the few times Danyal gets to grin instead of Danny. He's fighting Skulker, and from an invisible hilt he draws a katana from thin air. It startles them both. Skulker takes a step back at the smile that spreads across his face.
They're both silent as Danyal examines his new sword.
"Do you know what people like me do to people like you, poacher?" Danyal finally asks him, the accent he began to hide a few months in slipping through. He drops all pretense, dragging the flat end of the blade slow and appreciatively against his palm. It's a good make, and when he cuts it through the air, it slices through like butter. He looks up at Skulker with a smile; "are you ready to find out?"
When Sam and Tucker ask about why Skulker seems so skittish around Danny now, Danny shrugs at them and says with a playful smile; "I don't know, I guess I kicked his butt too hard after our last fight." and he watches as Sam rolls her eyes exasperatedly, and Tucker snickers with his own joke.
By the time he reunites with Damian before their 15th birthday, Danyal is buried beneath so many layers of Danny Fenton that his brother will need a shovel to dig him out. He's not sure what he'll find.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#danyal al ghul au#danyal al ghul#dpxdc prompt#dpxdc au#dc x dp crossover#dp crossover#demon twins au#so turns out putting an assassin child in a normal family does not actually fix the child. it may just make them worse. had this thought#today and had to extrapolate. i have a whole ass post in my drafts explaining my idea for this lmao. my thought was basically:#'damian would be the better off twin because he'd have actual proper support compared to danny bc the bats know damian's background and +#+ as a result can actually address the league's teachings properly and help him dismantle the lessons that have been ingrained in him +#+ as compared to danny who would be with a random family - regardless of affiliation - who would only be able to help with surface level +#stuff if danny even ever lets them see that. danny would need to dismantle his own mindset on his own if he even thinks he has to.'#jazz is not a reliable or licensed therapist. that is a child. she's not even implied to be a good one. psychoanalyzing people doesn't make#you a good therapist. it just means you can psychoanalzye people. and therapy only works on those who think they need it. danny would not#think he'd need it and any attempts from jazz to psychoanalyze him would just result in him shutting her out and doubling down on his belie#tldr: starry made another au exploring the psychological effects of growing up in the league and he calls it:#'whose the more adjusted twin? Damian or Danny? Lmao Damian ofc. Danny got screwed over'#rip to damian you have your work cut out for you trying to peel back all of your brother's protective layers. that's an iceberg waiting to#be explored. o7 to you champ your brother got the short end of the stick. danny has so many things to unlearn that i didn't go into here#its an actual demon twins au too! would ya look at that.
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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been doin redraws as warmups w these two dorks ^^ ID in alt text!
#SNIIIILES . SNILES IM. AOUGH. freehoun......#I'm normal it's fine#Again lmk if I need to fix the alt text I'm new at em ^^#gordon freeman#barney calhoun#freehoun#Half life#hl1#half life 1#Pre rescas freehoun is something that can be so. Grits my teeth and clinches my fists#I do think it's important that you know the third image was sent to my friend w the caption:#'they shouldve been at the club but instead they were doing this'#AWE FUCK I JUST REALIZED I FORGOT HIS HEARINF AIDS IN TH LAST ONE. DAMN
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havent drawn talon jerk moment in a while
#a doodley#is this the first time ive drawn talon smoking. i think i drew him with a cigarette the first month i started drawing him#but that's it#speaking of al al needs to fix talon's hair#you usually know he's doing bad when he's just hacked at his hair with scissors#(usually bc sometimes he does it with maintenance intent instead of due to being upset)#and al fixes it (to the best of his ability) for him
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on a qijiuyuan streak so far um hm so consider the flavor of sy fully believing that he's just a substitute for who yqy really loves (sj) and doing his best to fulfill the role
maybe it's a courtship for political purposes and so sy is aware that there wouldn't be any genuine romance here, but he is hoping for at least friendship??? he does want to save yqy bc his original ending in pidw is just too tragic... and also full of plot holes and plot armor.
though it gets obvious real quick that yqy is head over heels in love with sqq. nothing sy says or does will dissuade yqy from loving the scum villain. the thing is, it is also obvious to sy that sqq abhors yqy, except that it's less of a disdainful kind of hate and more like hurt? sy is so confused. he's cursing airplane out every time he gets stuck with both peak lords during a tea session.
when he does unlock qijiu's tragic backstory, he goes ??? wtf is this tragedy airplane, why didn't you put this in pidw it would've been so much better!!! more thought-provoking!!! also everything makes so much more sense now. and so he sets out to right the misunderstandings and miscommunication (he does like yqy and sqq, even as the scum villain, deserves an explanation and/or closure)
on sj's side he's fucking pissed that this pale impostor of him is going around taking advantage of the guilt yqy feels over him. he spitefully brings down sy's reputation, bc he's possessive over his qi-ge even though yqy isn't his qi-ge anymore... and he can tell that yqy is not really in love with the impostor, anyway.
yqy is just going !!! bc on one hand he feels delighted that sj does still feel something for him, even if it's just possessiveness from the past... and also sy is genuinely kind and good and yqy has longed for such warmth before, but it always feels wrong when he thinks of everything he's done and failed to do... if it were any other time, he may have grown to love sy, but it's not meant to be.
fuckers think they're playing 4d chess with each other (well, shen yuan's part is more like uh poker but yeah) but like. they're so stupid i love them so much i can't wait to write more chaotic trashfire aus of them save me
#svsss#shen yuan#shen jiu#yue qingyuan#qijiuyuan#yes a new au gods know i need to reassess myself#svsss lovelorn au#sy: can't they just talk like a normal people for the love of GOD#sqh: idk bro#sy: you wrote this world! fix this!#sqh: bro they were like. an 11/10 disaster before you came. now they're like at infinity/10 with a side of threats-of-war kind of jealousy#and also zhangmen-shixiong's complexes got even WORSE#don't get me started on shen-shixiong#sqh: anyway i have coffee want some#sy: yeah sure whatever
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here is how Adam Frankenstein can fix this situation and save the day, an essay:
#insert: sure grandma let’s get you to bed meme#bungou stray dogs#bsd#bsd spoilers#bsd 114.5#bsd stormbringer#bsd Adam#I just need him back and I know he would be able to fix this
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sorry I got posessed by the wattpad demon I'm normal now (lying)
+alt version that didnt fit the #aesthetic but it better represents my #vision of them ^_^ hashtag couplegoals
#I am not immune to 'she can fix him'-ism. jk that's not why I like them#got#game of thrones#joffrey baratheon#margaery tyrell#my art#sorry 2 the marg fans I haven't drawn her in so long and this is what I give you. if it makes you feel better I'm also disappointed#ok jokes aside im actually really happy w the like. messy scrapbook vibe it was so fun :3 I need to do it more ^o^#I'm so jealous of people who fill up their canvas like this n I finally did it yipeee#whats their ship name btw is it just a slightly misspelled version of one of their names that would be funny. does anyone even ship them#...I know what this looks like but um ackchually I like them in a ironypilled divorcecel way. it's different -_-#and I also like drawing them being cute but um its because ☝ um. well its fun :3
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it is always under appreciated how secretive phoenix is like he’s very breezy and hard to nail down. i feel like it’s bc he’s often seen in the context of his relationship with edgeworth but like. edgeworth isn’t cagey. if anything he’s somewhat willing to share a moderate level of personal details if he’s able to, he’s just awkward and very formal and task oriented. phoenix is snarky and impersonal but everyone allows it cause he gets deemed as harmless and goofy. kind of a slay
#hes the kind of guy who won’t tell you when his birthday is#or you’d ask him what he ate for dinner and he’d be like oh you know :)#like you know ZERO things about him unless they’re 1. in relation to edgeworth or 2. relevant to a case#it’s just so interesting people tend to characterise him as quite open and goofy#but he’s kinda catty and won’t tell you anything#i think like maya and edgeworth would wear him down eventually#and probably trucy and eventually apollo#but i think edgeworth would like Fix Himself and Go To Therapy and would eventually be like#phoenix u need to. sort out this aloofness you’ve developed#Edgeworth Assigned Therapy#ace attorney#phoenix wright#miles edgeworth#narumitsu#wrightworth
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