#I just need to be more confident
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Hey google, how do I reconcile my gender dysphoria and my idea of what’s considered to be an attractive and desirable man?
… Google?
Hello???
#lemon talks#really learning that my body type is not desirable#we can talk about fat men with big bellies all we want#but do you still like those bellies when they hang?#when they aren’t perfectly round and smooth?#when it doesn’t fold nicely or when it has scars and stretch marks?#and what about hips that aren’t round or violined.#idk maybe it’s just me being self conscious but I feel like there are fat body types that are ‘good’ or ‘desireable’#where as others body types aren’t#I know that’s not entirely true#there are people who will like my body type regardless#but in a sea of watching so many other posts of ‘desirable’ fat body types#it does get a little discouraging#n e way#that’s enough of me being bitter about bodies#I just need to be more confident
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We never post rants really but like
We are working on human designs versions of utmv characters and we always hit a roadblock when it comes to dream. Not because he’s hard to design but finding any pre existing references for designs is frustrating. The design itself is bland, he just looks like a generic anime boy - but our main issue is how people pose him as some weak frail smol bean. Grrrr I know it’s canon but goddamit it gets on our nerves. We don’t like how people characterize dream and how dream was written and how he’s drawn aandd asggrgrgffg- he has potential as a character but the infantilization is crazy.
But yeah- wip in designing him
#we aren’t a bastion design rules and regulations#it’s ok if you like his og design + characterization#we just personally want to push him down the stairs#I need more fanart of dream being cool and confident#even if the fanart is in his cannon design#grumpy today#dreamtale#dream sans#utmv#wip#ignore the ink peaking from the bottom
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Charles has always left Edwin little notes slipped between the pages of his favorite books, in his science equipment, places he knows Edwin loves. Just silly things—post its that say “hi Edwin :)”. doodles of Edwin with his nose stuck in a book. reminders to stock up on wolfsbane. but.
Then, post canon, Edwin tentatively starts dating people. And it’s ridiculous, because Edwin’s right there, all the time, but Charles..misses him a bit. And his heads a mess, and he can’t sort out what the hell he’s feeling most of the time, and whenever he tries to say any of it out loud it comes out rubbish.
So. He writes down some of the shit he can’t say right, and because he’s a coward, hides them so he doesn’t have to see Edwin’s face when he reads them.
then Edwin starts writing back.
Neat lilac blue little envelopes appear in Charles coat pockets. In his bag. Once, in his shoe? Some nights, Edwin will clear his throat and mention something from a letter, offhand, like they’re just picking up conversation, and Charles can pretend they are. That they always have talked about the basement, the belt, the nameless fear that chokes him every time Edwin walks out the door with someone else on his arm.
Sometimes he can’t. The words get stuck in his throat. Edwin’s not mad, he’s maddeningly, stubbornly kind about it, which is worse.
Some nights they trade. A secret for a secret. Charles learns about the novels Edwin used to hide under his mattress, about all the lonely years before Charles got there. About Simon.
Meanwhile, Edwin is losing his mind, because Charles has accidentally stumbled onto what was a fucking courting ritual in his time. Love letters were something engaged couples treasured for years, kept and reread over and over. (Edwin does. keep them in a special box, will take one out and trace the words, tuck it in his breast pocket for courage).
Edwin would rather have to reattach a limb again than lose Charles trust, all the dark and beautiful things he shares with Edwin only. He knows—knows Charles doesn’t mean to make him fall more in love with him.
#payneland#dbda#dead boy detectives#charles rowland#edwin payne#mini fic#charles x edwin#chedwin#fic#anyone is welcome to write this!#maybe I will eventually once I crawl victorious from the mountain of my 10+ wips#either way I’m a strong believer in the 2 or more cakes principle#would love different peoples takes on this#UGH BUT JUST IMAGINE… Edwin being scared to date & try new things#reading over and over how Charles is scared too how he’s faking being brave most of the time.#keeping the letter over his heart for courage#(I do think Edwin should date people for a while because like. he’s hot! he never got to be a teenager!#let him kiss cute boys for a bit! realize there’s nothing wrong with him! become more confident! more centered!#maybe it makes Charles a little crazy! proud and possessive and confused horny!)#they have time! :) & sometimes you need to go on your solo journey so u can then become more freakishly codependent with your#work bestie husband ride or die twin flame in the future. yk
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I really appreciate the way Momo immediately takes initiative in times of crisis. Usually you get that from a masculine character, especially in a shonen series, but when a girly gyaru says she’s gonna do a psychic heart massage on a dead person with her hands literally tied behind her back I’m like wow girls can do anything
#i looked up girl power in the dictionary and there was just a picture of momo#it’s the way her confidence and smarts also make okarun try to work harder be more considerate and take initiative as well… okkkk#episode 7 was incredible for many reasons but I need to give momo her flowers#momo ayase#dandadan
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(breathing into a paper bag) FRALIO....
can't believe they gave us another guy. oh my god. so I guess Kelka is more, uhhh, more OOO then, and Fralio is Ankh? not that it matters too much, although they do seem to be doing something with the connected Riders so. who knows. anything goes! or if I may, anything gOOOes! god. of course they're the Ambition parallel. of course they are. oh my god.
fortunately there's nothing else they can throw at me right now that could possibly --
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
#art#ride kamens#ride kamens spoilers#OKAY i am caught up through show my cards so i feel more confident about going into main story part 2#unless there's some absolutely wacky lore thrown into the fun rollerblades event WHO KNOWS AT THIS POINT#extra excited for these guys now! can't wait to meet them properly :D#gosh though i am so afraid for jou in part 2#he's grown on me so much and i can't help but think getting backstory so soon is an ominous sign#especially for a wisdom guy i mean COME ON#i'm getting kiriya vibes and i don't like where this is heading#on the one hand if they legit kill off a character in their joseimuke gacha game...i mean. respect.#but also i want jou to be okay :(#i want everyone to be okay except maybe taiten because what is even going on with him#me yesterday: oh i don't think he's straight-up evil :) now let me just finish up the space event...#taiten: let's talk about plan DOMINATE PLANET#damnit taiten#tangentially i do think it would be EXTREMELY funny if the whole soun thing was a fakeout and murakumo was just some other dude entirely#soun's soft spot for uryuu and dislike for taiten is entirely coincidental#(probably based around the fact that taiten is INCREDIBLY evil) (or is he) (i mean yes)#he's multilayered he doesn't need a narrative reason to have opinions about other characters what are you his MOM
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Just thought about … oh my god. Bakugo’s first real battle with a formidable villain after your kid is born; he’s not exactly “out of shape” (he never quit the gym, routine, etc… just changed it), but he’s thrown down hard in the first couple seconds, and he’s slower to get back into position—taking the time to steady his feet and assess the terrain, pushing out the lil tummy he gained feeding you postpartum delicacies as he cracks his back—
And the villain, god help them, decides to call out to him as they use the few seconds of vulnerability to attack again, screaming, “hey pop pop, don’t tell me parenthood has made you soft! How ‘bout I start calling you ‘daddy,’ too?”
Just as Bakugo’s turning back around with a new fire in his eyes, blood all warmed up, and shooting off to grab them by the throat to end the fight in one single move.
#Bakugo#the whole of Japan has been waiting on Bakugo’s return since he took paternity leave#so this is a big fight for him —- not just in terms of it being a test of his own strength but also because the medias hanging off his back#waiting to put out articles about whether he’s gotten stronger or weaker#they already put out tons about his ‘dad bod’ and the fact he hasn’t been focusing as hard on agility at the gym#hahaha turns out making sure his baby is strong and that you recover has taught him a lot of things#(aside from that you’ve been liking his thicker stature as of late too… aka: phat confidence booster)#and it’s that he can also be an absolute powerhouse at defensive maneuvers alongside attacking#aka: Bakugo gets back from his paternity leave with an all new fighting style 10x more sturdy than two years ago#being a dad has also made his confidence go up about 5000% so he’s become a bit more nonchalant in fights#hence why he’s not afraid to warm himself up before going in for the kill#LMAOOOO I need to let myself be corny#time to wash my hair now tho and check on my v#womiting kitty#gen#kids tw#caitie post
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He misses his dad.. 🥺
#I saw another fanart that made me cry so hard I threw up so I felt like I needed to hurt people too#I also haven't stopped thinking about how sad Tomura probably was when Kurogiri got captured#that was his REAL dad 😤#I would've loved to get more time with the league showing everyone's feelings and reactions with the losses and grief#like they kinda zoomed past everyone's reactions to losing Compress and Kurogiri#I hate what Horikoshi did to the villains I'll curse him until my last breath#anyways#I had to play a round of smash with my Fiance to get that screenshot for the tv lol#we debated for a while on who they'd pick for characters#I feel confident in our picks tho#Tomura would tell Kurogiri to pick that version of Kirby bc it looks like him 🥺#kurogiri would not be good at video games#but he would definitely try#Yeah I cried at least 6 times drawing this fyi#anyways sorry for rambling I'm just back on my bullshit#enjoy the food#my art#bnha#mha#my hero academia#shigaraki tomura#tenko shimura#shiggy#bnha shigaraki#mha shigaraki#kurogiri#league of villains
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Animation commission I guess...
Um... ha-ha, okay, it has been stuck in my head for the whole month, but if I will keep it any more I will explode, I need to busy my brain even more I'd like to take an animation commission. Like, a fully colored, shaded, with lightning, with in-betweens, with the clean line (and background). Up to 5 seconds depending on what you want to get I guess the price may start from 250$ and be higher or less depending on complexity of the details, character or movement (<- of course everything will be negotiated) I never took such commissions before so please be patient with me since I might spend even months ha-ha (really wanna beat this fear of taking something more complex) But I will do my best since it will be first experimental time for me 1. Payment via Boosty after acceptance of the sketch animation (very rough idea) 2. I think I can draw mostly anything (but won't 18+, guro and I can decline something if I feel like I will not like to do it) 3. You must have a reference of the character, I'm not ready to work with something that doesn't have a ref to start working right away 4. Please, properly think of what you'd like to see, I will not make 3 different rough animations of different ideas because you suddenly had another idea ;~;; 5. Note me in dms if you'd like to take commission... (I'd like to move to discord later since it's more comfortable in here) Uh... I have only this as a more or less proper example (it was based on amazing storyboard by yeye23)
Okay, I'll just leave it here if someone really will be interested and will delete if it if it will be decided.... I just feel like my brain is dying if I don't have an enjoyable/stressful more complicated work on a side that demands an attention from me. Have a nice day
#I just...#I have what to do#Plenty of what to do#But it doesn't stress me enough to make my brain work#Such kind of commissions give me both a boost of work and enjoyment because of the process#So... yeah ah my brain is very much lacking it right now#And I think it will be interesting to finally do something complicated again but more properly#from the very beginning#I need an experience while I have time to pay attention to it#commission#I'm still not very confident to take money for these kind of works so I need to understand what pricing is okay for what I'm able to do wit#animation...#*opens the door*#*leaves the stage*#hahhh my dear life why did you give me such a lazy brain...
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"Kaidan Alenko is boring" WRONG. Kaidan Alenko is one of THEE characters of all time. He's Canadian, he's Schrodinger's man of colour, he's DOWN to fuck and still didn't manage to figure out that he's bisexual until his thirties, he killed a man as a teenager and almost caused a diplomatic meltdown bc of it, his tits are bigger than yours, he's constantly getting migraines, he has autism but doesn't know it AND he glows. What more could you want
#samara speaks#mass effect#kaidan alenko#now if you'll excuse me it's date night. i need to go fall down several floors through a fish tank and have him come pick me up.#also like. as much as he is under control in comparison to some of the other squadmates he's still got his personal problems 4 u 2 fix#it's just that his problem is that society demands that biotics be perfect to be accepted; otherwise they're seen as threats#part of his arc with shepard is (imo) learning to have more confidence in himself and his abilities and to listen more to his emotions
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🌸 when the Hindriarch banished Eskhind and her kin from Bey Lah, Neelahind would follow her heart into voluntary exile. To abandon a surefooted life, as well as a coveted spot among the Fellowship, is nearly unheard of among both hindren and Wardens, but Neelahind was glowing when she took her leave. I hear the pair are quite happy together, practicing arconautics in the ruins to the west—at least, that's what the kendren bring news of when they come back to trade.
back at it again w more caves of qud deer gals 😏✨ i'm kind of enamored with the ending to the Bey Lah quest where Esk and Neela both take off, so i wanted to see what they'd look like as a matched set of lesbian pariah-arconauts. geez, i can’t believe it’s been almost two years since i drew them last
image descriptions under break!
img desc: A drawing of a hindren deerfolk girl from "Caves of Qud". On the left a title card reads "Pariah Neelahind (she/her)". Some of the details are labeled. Her fur is a rich cedar red, with a lighter heartwood underbelly curling under her arms and on the inside of her legs down to her hooves; her curly hair is dark mahogany, tied back in a ponytail with a sky-blue bandana; her antlers are a pale heartswood, deepening to a rich velvet at the tines. She’s smiling, looking up and off to her right; she's poised upright, her arms spread to either side of her as she grips the haft of her war-scythe Yal, which is laying across her shoulders. She’s wearing shining steel platemail—a breastplate over a nanoweave surcoat patterned with pale lemon slices over pink (called "Pink Lemonade"); her armor is incomplete, but well taken care of. She’s wearing leather braces, a steel gauntlet on her left hand only, and a woven blue sash and bedroll across her back.
img desc: A drawing of a hindren deerfolk girl from "Caves of Qud". On the right a title card reads "Pariah Eskhind (she/it)". Some of the details are labeled. Her fur is ashen, with her pale undercoat spotting through on her forearms and flanks. Her messy hair is a greenish bleach-blonde, and one of her ears has a hole in it; her antlers are pale and their velvet is darker grey, and they're covered in little tied-on charms and brass tine hornaments. She has an eyepatch over her left eye, and a gap between her front teeth. She's grinning, slouching in a relaxed fashion, pulling back her hood with one hand and flashing a rock-on with the other; her front two legs are crossed, while the back two are spread like she's posing for a picture. She's wearing a well-worn chainmail hauberk, which extends down over her back; a ragged cowl, with buttoned slots along the hem of the hood for her antlers to fit through; a leather bracer on her left wrist, a steel pauldron on her right shoulder, a fingerless elastyne glove on her right hand, and two pairs of croccasins on her hooves. A pocketed saddle is slung over her back, along with a backpack and bedroll; on either side, the pockets are full of tools and bits. Tucked into her swordbelt is a sheathed folding carbide longsword and a gaslight kris; slung across her chest is a bolt-action rifle called "Peashooter" (it has a lesbian flag on its stock). Around her legs are several beaded bracelets and charms; one of them is the rightfully reclaimed Kindrish, complete with its carved deer charm.
#polyart#caves of qud#fanart#cervitaur#eskhind#neelahind#i actually kin neela really hard lol#i like drawing her being confident n happy even if she's apparently in more dangerous n unsure situations#something something transgender#esk is right at home tho she's such an adrenaline junkie#fun lil details include#the waxing crescent gorget neela's using as a makeshift pauldron#that's a badge of office for the fellowship#no point in flaunting it anymore#“escaupil” actually refers to a kind of woven armor used by the mexica back during the time of the conquest#it was really thickly woven cotton armor that was soaked in brine to harden it even further#it was really good at deflecting arrows n other projectiles#i like the idea of a nanoweave escaupil#in stark contrast to the iron plate and chainmail worn by the conquistadores#and marrying the old traditional forms of the hindren with the retrofuture aesthetics of arconauts#esk isn't actually missing an eye#she's just operating on pirate logic#in case she needs to go into a dark hole somewhere she flips the patch n has nightvision#she's silly like that#also peashooter is a spara exclusive ofc#she's an absolutely terrible shot tho
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short & stout rose And awkward and gangly dave >>>> i think rose would move with a ferocity like she could accidwntally bump her elbow onto the corner of a table and the table would crumble . dave posture’d be so rigid that he’d fall like a tree and shatter like glass from a light breeze
#dave strider#rose lalonde#homestuck#im gonna yap more abt my drawings ive been restrained for too long thinking people wouldnt care😤😤#my friends at school building up my confidence for better or for worse lol#i have thoughts!! things 2 say!!! not a lot but hopefully getting out the things i do have will make room for more…^_^#anyways#daveis just egon schiele art to me now#discomfort of tha body ……. Davesprite would be even worse imo#this also means dirk is a short king. and roxy would tower over him LMAO#dirk the shortest in the entire group#i need to draw egbert n jade more😢😮���💨😮💨😮💨im sorryyyyyyyyyyy#hits post shyly
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Just a girl who wants to be her mother’s daughter in the ways that matter
#Such a tenacious go getter & the smartest woman ik#Has NEVER looked back at a man twice. Knows she’s beautiful & that attention is guaranteed. Never desperate for male validation ever#The best fashion sense ik. She’s the epitome of classic & vintage#Doesn’t gaf what others are doing / is always tunnel visioned on her own goals#A mega workaholic and like. Maybe I’d rather balance but still she’s still an overachiever#I feel im becoming more and more like her by the day but still I have some work to do#Need to be more focused & to stop entertaining little boys fr#I just want to move w the unshackling confidence & elegance she seems to emanate effortlessly#I swear that woman was born that way!!!! So unfair for the rest of us mortals#Why does no one talk about the psychological torture that comes w having a naturally gorgeous genius mother#I’m dying over here I just wanna be like her but im pushing that boulder up the hill all the time#Meanwhile she’s always just On#HOW#Just an eldest daughter having a crisis about her mother who is also#The eldest daughter out of her and her two brothers#I need to journal about this I need to meditate#How to manufacture the drive that your mother was simply endowed with at birth#Not even joking I just got off my internship and now im sitting on a swing under the late May sun having a crisis about this
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A Griddle!! for u!! if you accept
I made this when I finished gtn for the first time and I liked it at the time and then I didn't like it for awhile which is why I hadn't posted it here but now I look at it with fondness because i just adore her so (resisting the urge to do a quick paintover...there is so much i would do differently now) and so in my moment of weakness i bestow to you gideon nav, loml
#at least my lack of artistic confidence could never dull gideon's confidence#her energy is there still#your honor i just love her so much#i need to draw her again but better#(after camilla tho bc i have more plans for camilla art)#my art#gtn#gideon the ninth#the locked tomb#gideon nav
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once again i was fueled with coffee (did not sleep the whole night) but this time i doodled college au to cope bc ofc i did (also did not feel like sleeping wooo)
#self insert#cross!sans#epic!sans#mblue art#cm#m rambles#(that tag is needed bc hoo boy u can tell i did not get sleep and is fueled by caffeine)#(do not be like me!!!!!!!!! do not deprive urself of sleep 💀💀💀)#(get a good 6-7hrs a day if u can. if 4-5hr works better for u then im not forcing u to sleep more 😤😤😤 as long as u rest well 😁👍)#(AND HYDRATE... if ur reading this try to take a sip rn 🥤)#campus au#(college au scenarios will be tagged that heehoo)#not colored just lines bby 😎😎😎#idiots to lovers type shit where they both confide in epic n he's just chillin#waiting for the time when these dummies will finally confess to eachother themselves#(look i think it's rlly funny seeing cross be all cool calm collected in public but when he talks to epic abt his crush)#(he goes insane with a million different flustered/blushing emojis)#( 'they told me good luck on my test and gave me the nicest smile ever how was i gonna live after that' goofy ass. idiot /aff)#( 'DUDE THEY GAVE ME A MOTIVATIONAL NOTE. IN /PINK/ PAPER. ON CHOCOLATE. DOES THIS...... 😳' guys i love silly dorky cross to bits so much)#(man fucking explodes w his simping n epic just goes LMAO but he's v supportive for his bruh 💪😤)#(on the other hand my sona thinks he's sooo cool and awesome and smart and honestly fucking charming HHELLO THE TIMES WHEN HE LAUGHS AND)#(AND SMILES HELLOOO MR HANDSOME I MEAN WHATT)#( 'stars if he likes me back i wouldn't know what to do with myself. fucking EXPLODE? YIPPEE CONFETTI??' lots of flushge )#(going ueueue at big bro epic bc they got a super massive crush on his bestie but)#(but the head is entertaining 'what-if's BUT i think kuya epic knows how to steer the thoughts away from those and smack em w teasing 😎✨)#(ultimately distracting and successfully reassuring them 😎😎😎)#(tsundere mblue no way not in here im down bad astronomically full on simping my guys)#(he might be a dumbass sometimes but he's my dumbass) (ok i'll shut up now fr)#anywayz campus au is the my highschool au but we're all adults and more tired yippeee
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bunch of kairis (+ bonus quadratum kairi)
#kingdom hearts#kairi#kh#myart#i based her design off of gatto nero clothes from neo twewy and that one concept art nomura did#her hair i got from scrolling through utada hikarus entire instagram. plus this one looks like aquas hair and i thought thatd be cute#i just really wanted more twewy stuff incorporated bc is nomura does not make them go to shibuya im killing ppl#i also had like. hyper specific kairi character development thoughts in mind when making this w/ her expressions and poses#like kh3-melody shes super sidelined and doesnt feel good enough to fight along side sora and riku#but in 1 shes snarky and silly. 2 shes getting more confident w/ going out on her own and getting the keyblade#i want her to be a fucking badass in 4 she deserves it. her moveset in remind was INSANE she needs to be op in 4
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thinking about transfem sanji and "apparently-bisexual-now" zoro.
Sanji comes back to sabaody post ts with long hair and fem presenting, yet kicks zoros ass even harder than before and he's immediately smitten.
Zoro who's never been attracted to a woman before, but now all he can think of is sanjis long hair and pretty eyes and "yeah, okay, I guess this is it now."
#Rotating them in my brain so bad#They make me so ill I need to be shot#Also yes this is implied t4t because of course#Trans zoro 4 the win#Zoro thought sanji was hot before but now she's back and just so much more comfortable and confident with herself and zoro is STRUGGLING#Like she's so vibrant and happy and he's like#Like so in love he can't even begin to understand it. Just knows that Sanji is strong and pretty and kind and he's so lost on her#He looks at her like she's the sun itself and the crew is so goddamn tired of them#Op#one piece#Zosan#Sanzo#transfem sanji#T4t#sanji#zoro#Not tagging transmasc zoro because it's not said in the post but just know that it IS implied
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