#I just like the fact that two of my interests are meshing together

[theforgxttenshade]

Alice in wonderland x Sky cotl event soon…. Y’all know what this means.

The HNKNA fan in me might just revive

[pipsyy]

detestable...

enemies to lovers dom!hamzah x f!reader

hi everyone! i have had the most absolutely terrible writer's block recently, which is why this fic has taken so long. but i hope you enjoy regardless! please send me reqs if you have them!

summary: y/n absolutely hates hamzah, detests him, actually. until one day, when that undeniable feeling of angers burns into an even hotter flame.

warnings: SMUT SMUT SMUTTY SMUTTING SMUT SMOT! DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER THE AGE OF 18.

word count: 3066

You loved your life. Your home, your animals, your friends, your youtube channel, everything. There was nothing about your life that irked you. Except for one thing. Him. Hamzah. You had become friends with Mandy over two years ago, over similar interests and styles of youtube channels, and had met Hamzah about six months into your friendship with her. You had never met somebody like him before. You got along with everyone, even if they slightly pissed you off, you were able to stomach their presence and create minimal amounts of respectable small talk. But not with Hamzah. In fact, when you were first invited over to Mandy’s house for a party and heard he was going to be there, you were excited. You had seen his online presence and thought he was funny, charming, and kind, only to find out upon meeting him that the complete opposite was the truth. He was awkward, and weird, and nothing at all like you thought he would be. The two of you were unable to mesh a single comfortable conversation together and, since then, you had effectively avoided him like the plague.

The angry tension between the two of you finally exploded one Friday night. You had been invited to dinner at Mandy’s house, and you were ecstatic. You imagined your night playing out with the two of you cooking and baking delicious food, sharing some with Martin in his man-cave, then diving into the delicacies in front of a cozy fall movie. What you did not expect was Hamzah to be there.

“Hey, y/n!” Mandy said excitedly, as she opened the door and welcomed you into her home. “Are you ready for tonight?”

“Oh my god,” you said, grasping her hands in yours. “You have no idea! I’ve been looking forward to it all day.” You took your shoes off before following the brunette into the kitchen. The two of you were laughing and talking until you stopped dead in the middle of the kitchen, starting out towards the living room. Two male heads were positioned together on the couch, one with straight, almost black, locks and the other with luscious, dark curls. You would recognize those curls anywhere. Shit.

You grabbed Mandy by her forearm and whispered in her ear, “I didn’t know he would be here.”

“Who?” she asked cluelessly, swiveling her head to where your wide-eyed gaze was fixated upon. “Oh, right…Hamzah. Martin and him filmed a video today and he’s not leaving until later. I’m so sorry, y/n. I really tried to get him out of the house, but he insisted on staying for dinner.” You knew that Hamzah liked to rile you up, he made it abundantly clear whenever the two of you would have a conversation.

“He just wants to piss me off,” you responded. “It’s okay. We can just ignore them and have fun.” Mandy smiled at you. The two of you began gathering items and ingredients from around the kitchen to make the dinner. You had decided on making fettuccine alfredo with broccoli and chicken over text with pumpkin cream cheese cupcakes for dessert. The two of you labored over the pasta for almost an hour, laughing and giggling over every single thing. The boys mainly kept to themselves, occasionally laughing softly at the game they were playing on the TV. You paused from stirring the cheesy sauce, simmering softly in the pan.

“You can go ahead and combine this sauce with the pasta, Mandy,” you said, nudging the brunette girl with your elbow. “I’m going to head to the bathroom real quick.” You went to the bathroom down the hall and completed your business, flushing the toilet and washing your hands. As you exited the bathroom, you ran right into a pair of broad, muscular shoulders. You look up, an apology bubbling from your lips, until you meet a pair of wide, dark eyes: Hamzah. His eyes narrow and his brow furrows. Your lips curl into a sneer, the close proximity of him causing hot, red anger to flare in your chest. The two of you attempt to get around each other, moving in sync. This annoying act continued until Hamzah’s large hands grip your waist and practically lifted you up, moving you out of his way. He continued down the hallway to the guest room without looking back, leaving you stunned into silence in the middle of the hallway. Your waist tingled lightly where his hands had touched you. The way his large hands were able to almost completely engulf your waist, followed by how effortlessly he had lifted you, caused inappropriate, unwanted thoughts to flow through your mind. You shook your head, internally scolding yourself for your rash behavior. When you reunited with Mandy in the kitchen, she gave you a confused look.

“You okay?” she asked. No doubt your silent demeanor and red face giving away some of your internal embarrassment.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you responded, unconvincingly.

“You sure?” she pressed. “I saw Hamzah leave and I just thought–”

“Yes!” you snapped, cutting her off. “I am perfectly fine.” You ran a hand through your hair and Mandy laughed, shaking her head at your idiocy.

“If you say so, girl.” The night continued smoothly once you had calmed yourself down from your strained interaction with Hamzah. The pasta was cheesy and delicious, followed by the brownies which were sweet and rich with chocolate. Mandy shared the brownies with the two boys, Martin full of compliments and praise for the two of you, while Hamzah enjoyed his in silence, glancing at you every so often with a wide-eyed stare that made you feel both uncomfortable and anxious. Throughout the night, Martin and Mandy exchanged coy looks, giggling under their breath at something that seemed to you like an inside joke, but you were unsure. Finally, you reached your breaking point, and blurted out your confusion at the couple’s strange attitude.

“What the hell are you two plotting?” you asked. The couple exchanged a knowing look, smirking at each other.

“Plotting?” Mandy repeated. “We’re not plotting anything.”

“I know you are,” you said. 

To your utter surprise, Hamzah chimed in in agreement. “Yeah,” he said, mouth full of brownie. “You’re both acting so weird. What’s going on?”

Mandy gave Martin another weird look, the two nodding at each other in joint agreement. “Well…” Mandy said. “There’s this movie that Martin and I have been dying to see and it comes out today. We’re going to leave to see it now.”

“And we know that the two of you have some unsettled differences,” Martin chimed in. “So while we go out to see this movie, the two of you are going to stay here and figure them out.”

“Are you serious, Mandy?” you said, exasperation at this situation obvious in your voice. You glanced at Hamzah who had undeniable shock plastered all over his face. “No…” you said, as the couple began to pack up their things and pull their shoes on in quick succession. “No, no, you’re not doing this.”

“We’ll just leave the house, Martin,” Hamzah said.

“We’re locking the two of you in,” the brunette replied. “You’re not getting out this easy. The way you two absolutely despise each other pisses us off. So, you’re both not leaving until you have established some sort of mutual camaraderie or something like it. Understand?” You and Hamzah stood up from the table in protest, but it was too late, Mandy and Martin left the house in sync, locking the door from the outside. The two of you were trapped, together and alone, for an uncomfortable, inestimable amount of hours. You let out a sigh of pure frustration, understanding that the following couple of hours were going to be the most uncomfortable and angry you had felt in a while.

“Well, shit,” Hamzah said, sitting back down and folding his arms across his broad chest.

You rolled your eyes. “This is fucking ridiculous,” you said. “There’s no way I’m doing this.” You get up and pace the wooden floor, head lowered as you think of all the ways you could escape Hamzah and his brown-eyed gaze that you could feel following your every move.

“Oh, come on,” he said, standing up from his seat. He moved in front of you, blocking your path, looking down at you with a facetious smirk that boiled your blood. “It can’t be that bad.”

“Oh, trust me,” you said, maneuvering around the larger man. “It can and it is.” Hamzah reached out, fast as lightning, and grabbed your forearm. The slight touch sent undeniable shivers down your spine, which you hated. He turned you around to face him, the two of you inches from one another. You gazed down at his hand, still wrapped around your forearm.

“Am I really that detestable to you, y/n?” he asked, voice at a decibel so low you had to crane your ears to even hear him. The inches between the two of you began closing, his eyes—so brown they looked black—drawing you closer. Dark, seductive images flitted through your mind: Hamzah’s large hands gripping your waist, his lips on your neck, hands fisting your hair, gripping your throat, touching your cunt. Shocked, you wretch your forearm out of his grasp.

“Yes,” you breathed out, chest heaving, mind reeling from your stupid imagination and wandering mind. “You are that detestable.”

“Really?” Hamzah asked, voice no louder than a whisper. You realized as your back hit the wall that he had backed you into a both physical and mental corner. You gulped as he drew closer and closer. “Because—I think—you like to think of me as something more than just detestable.”

“I don’t like to think of you at all, Hamzah,” you said, skin burning as his dark eyes remained locked on yours, unyielding in their direct gaze.

“You don’t?” he said, scoffing. He leaned closer, lips practically brushing yours. His large hands maneuver to grip your waist, and you don’t even try to stop him. “Not at all, huh. Not even at night, when you’re alone in your bed.” His grip on your waist tightened and shockwaves of undeniable pleasure flash through your spine like needles. “Cause I do. All the fucking time.” You look up at him, eyes widened in shock. He curses, the grip on your waist tightening so hard you thought it would bruise. “Don’t,” he said, voice rough and gravely. “Don’t fucking look at me like that…or I’m going to do something we both will regret.”

You had never expected to feel this way about Hamzah. But seeing him—a man so stupid and narcissistic and haughty—reduced to this…reduced to a quivering mess of a man with needy desperation written all over him, you felt that you couldn’t help yourself. You whimpered as your core tightened. Your back brushed the wall and Hamzah leaned impossibly closer, chest brushing against your own.

“Tell me,” he said. “Tell me you don’t want this.” You froze, the repeated words brushing your lips, bubbling up inside you. But you couldn’t lie. You couldn’t say them. For deep down inside you, in a place you had buried since you got to know him, lay the dirty, red-hot truth. You wanted him too, equally as bad. Your shaking hands, puppeteered not by your brain, but by that stupid feeling deep in your heart, reached up to intertwine behind Hamzah’s neck, grasping at the delicate curls at his nape. Hamzah’s eyes widened at the realization that you weren’t backing away.

“I can’t,” you confessed. Hamzah, lips quivering with desire, leaned closer, brushing your soft and plush mouth with his own. Unable to contain your palpitating desire, you tightened your grip on his curls and pulled him into you, pressing your lips violently together. Your lips locked together, a wet mess of tongue and spit as you desperately clung to each other. Hamzah’s hands ran up and down your body, unsure of what part of you he wanted to touch first, desperate for everything, all at once. He separated from your lips, and you let out a needy, unfiltered whine at the lack of contact. Hamzah began kissing down your neck, suckling on that sweet spot behind your ear that made you cry out in pleasure.

“You have no idea,” he whispered, in between open-mouthed kisses planted on your neck. “You have no fucking idea what you do to me.” You whimpered at the blunt confession, hands yanking at his curls. His hands grabbed at your ass, lifting you up effortlessly as you wrapped your legs around his waist. Hamzah roughly pushed you up against the wall, lips connecting with your own again. You yanked at his t-shirt and he paused his motions, pulling it over his head and throwing it somewhere in the room. You came face-to-face with his body, ribbed and muscular from his time in the gym, while also maintaining enough tummy to make your thighs squeeze together. You mirror his movements, pulling your tanktop off and shucking your sweats down your legs, leaving you in your bra and underwear. Hamzah looks at you starstruck.

“Holy shit,” he whispered, reaching to grasp at your covered tits. “You’re even prettier than I imagined.” You giggled slightly, a gesture that never occurred to you would happen with Hamzah. Hamzah sunk down to his knees, leaving little kisses along your stomach and the underside of your tits. Kissing and biting your inner thighs, he dragged your underwear down your legs, mouth agape as you came face-to-face with your soaking cunt. He looked up at you with wide eyes, pupils dilated, and you felt your knees weaken. Hamzah grabbed one of your thighs after the other, wrapping your legs around his shoulders practically sitting on him, leaning against the wall. He continued to leave little kisses along your legs, suckling purple bruises onto your inner thighs.

“Hamzah–” you whine, tightening your grip in his curls.

“Use your words, y/n,” he said, looking up at you through his thick eyelashes.

“I need you,” you say, your desperation overwhelming your embarrassment and confusion. Hamzah smirked up at you, before shoving his head deep between your thighs. He licked a long strip up your folds, holding eye contact with you, before circling his tongue around your clit. As his tongue connected with your sensitive bud, you let out a long moan, head tilting back against the wall. Hamzah ate you out like it was his last meal, licking, sucking, and slurping your juices in a constant state of desperation for more. You felt yourself coming closer and closer to your climax, hands tightening his hair as his nose rubbed deep into your clit. You came with a cry, legs shaking around his head as you shuddered and convulsed, white spots bedazzling your vision.

Hamzah lifted you up, wrapping your legs back around his waist and kissed you, mouth stained with your juices. You tasted yourself on his tongue and moaned at the feel of his tongue poking its way into your mouth.

“God, you’re so fucking sexy,” he whispered. “You have no idea how bad I wanted you.”

“Hamzah—” you panted. “I need you inside of me.” He reached down into his pants, pulling out his hard member, stroking it a few times before rubbing it up and down your wet folds. He slid into you with a gasp, the two of you moaning at the feel of him sheathed inside of you. He began slowly thrusting in and out of you, the stretch of his thick cock inside your cunt drawing whimpers from deep in your throat. While your eyes rolled back into your head from the pleasure, Hamzah never broke eye contact.

“God, you’re such a fucking slut,” he said. “You hate me, huh?”

You whimper in response.

“Yeah, you hate me…but you’re still here, being fucked by this cock, huh?” You couldn’t respond, the only sound flowing from you being heady whines and high-pitched moans. You felt yourself inching closer towards another release, one of your hands reaching between your legs to rub your clit. One of Hamzah’s hands wrapped around your throat, squeezing slightly, you realized with a jolt that he was holding you up with one hand. The fact that this man could hold you up and fuck you so good with just the strength of one arm made your core tighten.

“I–I’m gonna cum, Hamzah,” you manage to cry out, dangerously tipping on the precipice of release.

“Oh, yeah?” Hamzah responded breathlessly. “You gonna cum, baby? Shit. Cum for me, pretty girl.” You cum with a strangled yelp falling from your lips. 

“Good girl,” Hamzah moaned out, hips beginning to stutter. “Good girl, so pretty, so fucking pretty for me.” Your hands grabbed onto his curls tightly, yanking as you came down from your high. The feel of his dark strands being pulled so tightly sent Hamzah over the edge. Hips stuttering as he came, head buried deep into your neck, he let out a flurry of whimpers and praises. The two of you sat there for a minute, Hamzah breathing heavily into your neck. Just then, you heard the jangle and clank of keys outside of the door. Hamzah’s eyes locked onto yours, wide with shock and fear.

“Shit,” you say. Untangling your limbs, the two of you rushed to dress in five seconds flat. You threw yourselves onto the couch, sitting on opposite ends just as Mandy and Martin opened the door and returned.

“The cinema was closed, guys,” Martin announced as he took off his coat and boots, Mandy close behind him. “Did you at least make up though?”

“Yeah, we did,” Hamzah responded, voice still rough and breathless. The couple finally came into your view, cheeks and ears red from the outside wind. You knew that the two of you were a strange sight: clothes rumpled, cheeks flushed with embarrassment and something dirtier. You also knew that, ever the observer, it would be Mandy to notice.

“Oh my god!” she said, covering her shocked face with a hand. “OH MY GOD, MARTIN!” She yanked on his sleeve, jumping up and down.

“What?!” he asked. “I don’t get it.”

“They fucked, holy shit, they fucked,” she laughed and giggled, jumping up and down with glee. “You owe me a hundred dollars, Martin.”

[bluemari23]

Hello Mari, how are you? I was very happy with the new notifications! Your writing is one of my favorites🙃❤️.

If you feel comfortable, could you write a headcanon aimed at the BTS members where we are the boys' romantic interest, being the 8th in the group? Maybe a foreign member.

NOTE: Thank you very much for your attention! I'm happy to see you back, a big hug❤️.

Hello! thank you so much!

and i took this almost as a poly idea the second i read it, so thats kind of how i wrote your ask if that's okay! :)

bf!namjoon who constantly tries to hide negative comments about you during live, not wanting you to see any hate for being their 8th member. He and the boys know that your relationship with them is a secret, but cant help but to still try to protect you from anything and everything. Knows when something is wrong during an interview and immediately will send a signal to their manage that the interview is over. Tries to be a confidant to you and help you integrate into idol society as their new member.

bf!jin who just tries to do whatever he can to help you in any way. "Oppa will do it". Knows you are independent but loves to help you with the little things like opening a jar of pickles. Will keep snacks near by for you knowing how you tend to stress eat. Will forever be your cooking buddy despite you loving to bake. Wants to try to bake for you but you might need to help him not put too much baking soda into the baked good.

bf!yoongi who may not show it, but is so in love with you that he knows everything. he is so observant and knows exactly how you like your orange peeled (with none of the white stuff left because you can't stand the texture of it). Loves that you will hold his whenever he wants and for as long as he wants. Will never move first when cuddling on the couch, waiting until you make the first move. Is the first to sense something wrong by watching your facial expressions and body movements (like how you rub your fingers together when nervous or anxious).

bf!hoseok who takes extra time to help you learn all of their choreography so you don't falll behind with their new music/choreo. Is the best at getting you up and out of bed when you feel down from the hate youre getting online. will bring you your favorite coffee/tea when he knows you have an early morning. buys you your wardrobe (along with jimin) as they both want to dress you and take pride in the fact that you were the clothes they buy you. loves to dress you up in matching outfits.

bf!jimin who is very cuddly and affectionate. loves to lean on you and have you lean on him. spends a lot of time just being a buddy while you do chores or are getting ready for a schedule. just loves to being your ocmpany, not needing anything planned. will just lay in bed with you for hours, keeping you from stewing too long on things not in your control. stops the company from putting you on a diet for their next comeback because you are absolutely perfect to him and the boys.

bf!taehyung who loves to go explore with you. any new city you guys go to he likes to take you out to explore life in the city and find new places. loves to buy you accessories like scarves and sunglasses because then you guys match. taehyung who reads out all the "marry me y/n" and maybe makes some up just to see you smile and politely decline. loves trying to get a reaction out of you and maybe tag teams with jungkook to see who could get you flustered the most first.

bf!jungkook who loves to assert his dominance and "throw you around". loves to pick you up in his arms and throw you onto the couch or bed before smothering you in kisses. keeps you favorite treat in his bag so he can share it with you before jin sees. loves to do karaoke sessions with you on live and gets frequently caught by army staring at you in awe. jungkook who insists on sharing verses with you because he loves how your two voices mesh together. jungkook who knoes exactly how you like your ramen and makes it up before bringing it to you with a grin on his face.

[in1-nutshell]

I'm gonna try again tfp team prime with a bot Buddy who has a concerning interest in poison. 😅 And now i'm beginning to annoy myself

Hello there! Don't worry about asking again, I'm just not well versed in some things that's all. Still glad you asked though! Since you did not specify which characters you wanted I will be selecting them at random.

Hope you enjoy!

Ratchet, Wheeljack, and Ultra Magnus reaction to Bot Buddy who is fascinated with poison

SFW, Platonic, talks of poison, Cybertronian/ Bot reader

TFP

Ratchet

Ratchet has known Buddy for a while. As in before the war started, before their interest in poison.

Buddy used to be a good doctor that helped him from time to time in his makeshift clinic. They were always experimenting with new forms of medicine to treat patients. It could have been medicine for a mesh wound to try to find a cure for the rust plague.

It was during the war that they had found an interest in poison.

Ratchet wouldn't see Buddy again until they crash landed on Earth. To say it was a pleasant surprise was an understatement.

"Ratchet? Ratchet is that you my friend?"--Buddy

"Buddy?! By the Allspark it's great to see you online."--Ratchet

"Likewise my friend. Now tell me, what do you need?"--Buddy

"Any help at this point would be nice, truly. "--Ratchet

"Well it's a good thing I brought my kits! Don't worry this war will be over in no time now!"--Buddy

"You still have the kits?! I thought they were destroyed in your lab back on Kimia."--Ratchet

"Kits? Ratchet what are they talking about?"--Bulkhead

"An explanation would be nice."--Arcee

"Buddy has a gift for medicine... And other things..."--Ratchet

"Oh Ratchet you make it sound like a bad thing. To answer your question, my dear Wrecker, I specialize in poisons and venoms of all sorts! Pretty exciting don't you think?"--Buddy

"... I'm just going to be over there..."--Bulkhead

While Ratchet isn't exactly thrilled with the idea of Buddy handling any type of poison, he has to admit that they do get the job done.

Buddy is often seen in their little corner of the base or near the consoles discussing things with Ratchet.

Wheeljack

Wheeljack knew Buddy from the Wrecker's. Like him, Buddy was a former scientist before the war started.

The two of them went together faster than a house on fire. One was never too far from the other, and if they were something was going to explode.

There was a huge explosion the day that the two had gotten separated.

Years later Buddy found a strange signal coming from a planet called Earth. They decided to go and check it out. Who knows if they would find more poisonous things for their kits?

They didn't find any poison yet, but they did find Ultra Magnus, Bulkhead, and Wheeljack.

"Wheeljack! Bulkhead! Ultra Magnus sir!"--Buddy

"Buddy?--Bulkhead

"Buddy?!"--Magnus

"Buddy!"--Wheeljack

"Wait how do we know if it's the real Buddy? We don't want another Makeshift problem."--Bulkhead

"Makeshift?"--Buddy

"True soldier. From what you told me we need to be on high alert in case this is a Decepticon."--Magnus

"Decepticon?"--Buddy

"It's Buddy I can tell."--Wheeljack

"How?"--Bulkhead

"There is only one bot crazy enough to carry that many kits labeled POISON like it's a collection of rocks."--Wheeljack

"Hey!"--Buddy

After the formal introductions are made, and Buddy gets to know Team Prime, they are once again attached to Wheeljack.

Wheeljack doesn't mind Buddy's fascination with poison. In fact he encourages it. The more Cons they can the better.

Ultra Magnus

Ultra Magnus knew Buddy as a new recruit for the Wrecker's medic.

How in the world they became friends?

Magnus doesn't have the right answer for that. It just happened.

He is well aware of Buddy's poisonous hobbies but he can't say they aren't benefiting from it. There have been multiple times where the Wrecker's would have been killed if not for Buddy's experiments.

Buddy had gotten separated from the Wrecker's during a rather gruesome battle. Magnus pushes his grief deep down so he could focus on leading his group.

Buddy gets reunited with Magnus when they literally crash into the IronWill.

"Identify yourself!"--Magnus

"Magnus? Ultra Magnus! I can tell how good it is to hear your voice my friend!"--Buddy

"Buddy?"--Magnus

"Sure is Commander! Might I say it again, it's good to hear your voice."--Buddy

Magnus gives Buddy the introduction to the team. He makes sure that Buddy doesn't feel isolated or left out. He knows how that feels.

It takes more time for the team to get used to the fact that Magnus has a best friend than Buddy playing around with poison.

[susansontag]

studio ghibli ranking list let’s go

(will include nausicaä and the red turtle)

the these-are-actually-bad section:

24. earwig and the witch

actually the only one I haven’t watched so it’s cheeky to put it here. but I won’t be watching it and no one will blame me.

23. ocean waves

who sincerely cares about these teenagers they’re so annoying. if the boys had been gay it would have honestly been homophobic.

22. pom poko

this film is about shape-shifting raccoon dogs waging a war on humans and there’s copious jokes about their testicles. so on paper a perfect film. execution wise it’s so long and so boring and you care about none of them.

the cure-for-insomnia section:

21. tales from earthsea

hayao miyazaki was right to walk out of this one even though he probably is a terrible father for having done so. some of the animation was really nice but these protagonists made me yearn for the ocean waves cast because at least they have semi-personalities.

20. castle in the sky

proof miyazaki was judging his son too hard for earthsea because this is basically his version of the same thing: a nice idea with good animation and the most boring boy/girl protagonists imaginable. has got that whimsy he does so nicely however.

the passable-films section:

19. the cat returns

but should he have? was that really necessary? has a scene of cats walking in a procession on their hind legs though so that’s a plus.

18. arrietty

visually gorgeous but otherwise a very run-of-the-mill adaptation of the borrowers, which in something that should feel wondrous is less than ideal.

17. my neighbors the yamadas

some harmless and inventive fun that you can put on in the background whilst eating lunch or doing some light yoga stretches.

the don’t-harm-me-I’m-right section:

16. howl’s moving castle

yes I do in fact understand the intricacies of the plot and I still don’t care. this is one of ghibli’s messiest films for sure, it can’t decide what it wants to be or focus on and the plot just seems to happen and then not happen for no good reason. I also think howl’s a whiny bastard and hate that sophie has to mother him and endure his contemptible man tantrums. a shame because she’s actually cool.

15. grave of the fireflies

it was sweet but I’ve watched more moving animated films set in war-time, even. I don’t have much desire to watch it again honestly but maybe I will at some point.

the this-is-getting-there section:

14. the red turtle

I liked it! an acquired taste but I really felt the harshness of the elements and the cruelty and the love. it's also very beautiful to look at, one of the most visually arresting ghibli productions.

13. only yesterday

a tale of two films with this one. the parts where she's a young girl are much more interesting, but if this had stuck the landing and it'd been more even overall, could have potentially been a favourite. alas.

12. the wind rises

a genuinely weird one in ghibli's lineup, in which miyazaki meshes two different stories together (one of inventive 'genius' and a doomed love story, respectively) in a likely attempt to try and grapple with his having chosen his career over all else, including family (noteworthy is that his wife was not able to retain her career as an animator). as a piece of art it's less whimsical and more mature than many of these films, but I struggle to not let my distaste for what it potentially represents get in the way of my appreciation for it as a film, but it's so blatantly personal that it's impossible.

the that-was-just-a-good-fun-time section:

11. nausicaä of the valley of the wind

aesthetically one of the coolest films on this list but I don't remember the story as well. great protagonist too. must have been great to experience when it first came out in the '80s.

10. porco rosso

I love this film about a tomboy mechanic and some pilot guy who went off to war and was so changed he is now a pig. watching it feels like if the mediterranean was so small it fit into your back pocket and was also populated by all your friends all your enemies and your ex-lover also.

9. from up on poppy hill

I found this one boring the first time I watched it but it really grew on me with subsequent rewatches. I really like her predominantly female household and the community they share in the backdrop of the rest of the drama is sweet. the bit of drama midway through is still batshit though but in a loveable, disney-would-never way.

the near-perfect section:

8. the tale of the princess kaguya

probably takahata's magnum opus with the studio, if slightly overlong. folktales are tricky because they tend to feel moralistic and the characters one-note if you're not willing to build on them but kaguya herself feels very spirited and alive. the prettiest on the list too I'd say.

7. my neighbor totoro

cozy late summer comfort film. perhaps even more special now because I was able to see the london production. cute!

6. when marnie was there

surprised this one has ranked so high for me but that's the power of tomboy lesbians heck yeah etc. also the fantastical element of this one is so up my alley and touches upon a particular kind of childhood nostalgia I have of being in old houses and imbuing them with magical qualities. the image of anna facing the house across the marshland is burned into my retina.

the I'd-die-for-her section:

5. princess mononoke

aesthetically too cool for school and has one of the best ghibli villains and female characters (lady eboshi). they really said all the spirits of the forest are going to die in this one but well it was a nice thought.

4. ponyo

my comfort movie of all-time! heartwarming! with another great female ghibli character in lisa, sosuke's mum who is legally allowed to drive like that apparently. also one I actually watched for the first time in my childhood when I was around 7 or so at an after school club. the subtitles taught me the useful and now underused gem of a phrase "bog off".

3. kiki's delivery service

asks the important questions such as: what if you were a young witch from a dying tradition who moves to a gorgeous town in sweden? what if your remarkable gifts were no longer appreciated due to rapid advancements in aviation technology? what if you could live in a bakery?

2. spirited away

when you're just a timid child who is scared of admittedly a lot and your parents manage to mess everything up spectacularly so now you're forced to work at the age of twelve for people who steal your identity. still one of the best honestly they may never top this as the peak of their artistic achievement.

1. whisper of the heart

have you ever been a struggling artist? have you ever been in love? have you ever been obsessed with john denver's take me home, country roads? in all seriousness love a story of two artistically inclined people inspiring each other and this has a unique feel compared to other ghibli films forever favourite probably. it feels like basically no one has watched it and that's a shame. rest in peace yoshifumi kondō.

[dandylovesturtles]

Hello! I just wanna say that I love your writing and thanks so much for sharing it :) I noticed a really cool thing you do in how you’ve extrapolated on and built upon Leo and Draxum’s father + son relationship, like in Port in a Storm, the Room fic, and I think there was another one shot where Draxum gave Leo tea after screaming himself hoarse (apologies if I’m confusing you with another author on that one). You’ve given them a really interesting dynamic. I’m curious if there was anything in particular that inspired the way you write them or maybe what your thought process was behind it?

Awww, thank you so much! And yes, you have the right person! That was one of my Bad Things Happen Bingo fics.

I'll admit I kind of Draxum-pilled myself, haha. I love a good redemption arc, and while the one we got in canon was unfortunately cut short (not their fault, of course), the bones of what Draxum and the boys could be are strong, and I love playing with them, particularly where it comes to Draxum and Leo, who initially seem like they'd have the hardest time becoming close. My feelings about them really started to grow in IMBI, where Draxum was initially supposed to only show up in one scene but then steadily integrated himself more and more into the story.

I don't really know if I have a specific inspiration, but I think Draxum and Leo have a dynamic that is particularly interesting to explore and I just like diving into that. Draxum is entering these kids' lives as an adult authority figure pretty late, something that's always contentious even when you aren't a reformed bad guy who dropped one of your "step-sons" off a roof. And Leo holds a grudge, so that makes him particularly resistant to coming around on Draxum (even though I headcanon that he doesn't actively fight Draxum's presence within the family, because it makes Mikey happy). At the same time, Leo seems generally desperate for adults he feels safe coming to, which is why he seeks out Hueso so readily and what gets him in trouble with Jupiter Jim and that one basketball guy. Leo is a pretty insecure kid and he doesn't want to be the one calling the shots (even though he's good at it) - he wants a "dad" around that he can run to when things get scary, who will make it all better for him. And unfortunately his own dad hasn't always done so well at that (though I do think he's had his moments and is getting better!).

On Draxum's end, I take him at his word that he's come to care for all four of the boys by the end of S2 (I just handwave that some development happened we didn't get to see). But while he may genuinely care for Leo's wellbeing, the two of them don't really... mesh. Besides the grudge Leo is holding, there's other things working against them: not having much in common, Leo's propensity for trolling, the fact that he's kinda annoying (but he's a kid, kids are supposed to be annoying), having personalities that go together like oil and water, etc. So while I think that Draxum has accepted Leo as one of his sons and would move heaven and earth to save him if something were to happen to him, he doesn't really want to hang out with Leo. He's not going to ask him to come play catch, as it were. And Leo really really wants a dad to come play catch with him, so that just furthers the contentious relationship between them.

This is why I like forcing them into situations where Draxum does have to directly show he cares for Leo's wellbeing. Left to their own devices, Draxum would be content in knowing that he cares for Leo even if Leo doesn't know this himself, and Leo would just accept that Draxum doesn't like him and he doesn't like Draxum and he's! totally! fine with that!! for real!!! And they would probably never grow closer as people as a result. But forced into a situation where Draxum has to show he cares for Leo, has to show he will move heaven and earth to protect him, lowers Leo's own walls as he starts to open himself up to the possibility that Draxum is one of those adults he can feel safe with.

I don't think Draxum and Leo ever get to a point where they're each other's first choice to spend their free time with, even as Draxum will spend quality time with Mikey, Raph, and Donnie, and I do think Leo will razz him about dropping him off a roof until the end of time. But Draxum becomes someone Leo knows is a safe place, somewhere he can go when he has a problem, when he needs help, when he's just scared, and Draxum will be there for him. He may not shower Leo in hugs and kisses and he may not offer him honeyed words of comfort, but he'll make sure Leo has food and a place to sleep, that Leo can talk out what he's feeling without judgement, that he can just exist without any expectations placed on him, unconditionally, forever.

Because that's what a dad is supposed to do. ^^

Thanks for the ask!

[scenesniper]

☆ genos ; nsfw headcanons

pairing / genos x afab gn! reader

disclaimer / penetration & a bit angsty

word count / 879 words

draft from october that i never finished oops

⭒ genos is a virgin (obviously) and was certainly confused why you're even sexually attracted to a cyborg at the first place but nonetheless, he still loves you. 😔 he's never had the luxury of expressing himself as a hormonal teenager since his attention was set on getting revenge on the cyborg that took his family away from him.

⭒ but god, when he met you, everything changed. skipping the details but to say the least, he can finally explore that hormonal teenager experience he missed on.

⭒ sex with genos is very limited because again, he's part cyborg. man got nothing packing down there, i'm sorry to break the news. that doesn't mean he can't penetrate you with his metal fingers and give you oral with his tongue! in fact, he's EXTREMELY skilled despite having no prior experience.

⭒ in fact, he can't feel anything he touches. whenever he has his eyes on you, he has to watch your mannerisms closely. what part do you squirm in the most, what is the cause of your whimpers? because of this, he basically knows your entire body language. although he doesn't feel anything, it doesn't matter to him because he's a giver more than anything. he loves to please you.

⭒ his entire body is cold. his finger is bulky and thick, which can easily penetrate you. it happened between you two once, but i promise he's trying his best to be gentle with you! 😭

⭒ his finger movements are rhymtic, he's just absolutely fucking you senseless repeatedly. clutch onto his chest or hold onto his face while his finger is deep in you, he'll feel so embarrassed but yet proud of himself.

⭒ he loves it when you're taking charge. please treat him gently, not just because of the possible future repairs from you putting him out of service but also just because he wants to be taken care of for once.

⭒ completely malfunctions whenever he sees you strip in front of him. he absolutely heats up like a goddamn heater and you have to be like "where is that heat coming from?" (surprise, surprise, it's from your horny boyfriend).

⭒ one time however, one of his parts were to malfunction from overheating while having sex with you. he distracts you by this (EXTREMELY CONCERNING safey hazard) by flipping you over as he eats your face out, only to break the kiss when he's certain that specific part will be able to last a little longer.

⭒ very good with his mouth and when i say good, i mean GAHDAMN. it's just pure bliss, how else could you describe it. he's very gentle when it comes with you but just knows the right amount of force to have you wanting for him more.

⭒ for the sake of this scenario though, i will give him a tongue for all of you nasty bitches (i am nasty bitches) 🤝.

⭒ his tongue is very.. scratchy. its' texture is similar to that of sandpaper and a sponge meshed together. he's a natural kisser but whenever he includes his tongue.. his way of going is very.. interesting to say the least..! 😁

⭒ he literally just shoves his tongue down your throat and not like in a hot and heavy, sexy way but in a lord i feel my dinner coming up. the first time he tried to include his tongue, it's a literal "pause, nah nah we can't do this" moment. 😭

⭒ with oral though, he's heavenly when it comes with sucking your cunt and lapping your juices like a starved man. his tongue, as said before, is scratchy so your pussy will legit be so itchy but it's okay because it's genos.

⭒ he does loves it whenever you sit on his face. maybe you're hesitant at first but when he finally convinces you to do so, he's instantly on cloud 9 and holding you down while he laps away at your juices.

⭒ sex drive is unlimited because well, he's a cyborg. he's very attentive of you so when you're near your limit, he immediately stops whatever he is doing. he doesn't want you to push yourself and end up passing out, but is he okay with having you scream and writhing the entire time? why, yes.

⭒ aftercare will be genos running a cold bath for you. while you're soaking up, he'll begin cleaning up the remnants of the mess the two of you made.

⭒ nights like these are his favorite. he can watch your beautiful sleeping face with the shining moonlight upon your form. he learns that his anxiety disappears completely with just you by his side in these quiet nights. if it was any other day that he wasn't laying beside you, his mind will torment him with guilt just like every waking hour that he is aware.

⭒ and moments like these are his favorite, it is something that grounds genos down. something makes him feel a little bit human. he wonders what kind of feeling the satisfication gives you but genos doesn't have that luxury to ponder at that. the only pleasure he is given is your ecstasy. after all, he is only a cyborg and you are a human.

[cookiesandcrumbs]

So, I've been thinking of how it could be interesting to see the inspo i used for my Spring collection. A lot of it comes from Talbots catalogues. Spring came from their 2019 June and May editions.

First one is the cover, the poses for the cover as well as several of the other poses inside the catalogue, were made by the ever so talented @someone-elsa! Thank you so much again!

Next is the pedal pusher pants. Not very similar, in fact, not similar at all. But it was merely the idea of pedal pusher pants. I pieced together at least two different diffuse maps as well as a nice texture i got from fuzzimo that i edited a bit.

After that we have the espadrilles. I even tried to recreate the overhead shot of deco versions of the shoes haha. Don't ask me if i still have the deco, i don't. I may have accidentally deleted it. It wasn't made for public consumption anyway, only for preview. I do still have the XCF for it however, if anyone is interested in that. Canvas and wicker textures came from brusheezy and sims 3 respectively.

Next up is the bermuda shorts. Technically the inspo isn't bermuda shorts but, the mesh i used is called bermuda so, that's how that came to be. I looked all over for a pattern that might look somewhat like the inspo but, ultimately failed. Which is fine! I opted for a texture called Elegant grid from transparenttextures. I made some various embossing and overlay editing to it and got this elevated layering look. I think it came out neat.

Now comes the mock-neck. I made the mock neck neck myself. I just, selected the neck edges and scaled a little and nudged and unwrapped and uv mapped it somewhere else lol. The button area was a major struggle. I had to find a button texture that looked similar enough, i tried many versions. It's mapped separately from the actual shoulder, too, so the edges are 'crisp'. Inside the XCF i shared, you can find a version to recolor it the opposite way, dark base with light stripes. THAT took ages, finding the best overlay modes and combinations of layers. But i did it! You're welcome!

Here we have the skirt. This was a fairly simple item yet, it took some time to blend textures and copy and paste and gradient mask and noise and such, to get this look. I'm not even exaggerating when i say i had to re-make it AT LEast 5 times, on both masculine and feminine models. The diffuse maps are different since the masculine skirt sits lower than the feminine diffuse map. Both textures also needed to look like it came from the same roll of fabric, so i had to re-do it several times if i made a mistake. But the result i think is great!

Last but not least is the dress. I'm excluding the jumpsuit since it's identical but, Pants. I made the marble texture myself. Came out quite nice, right? The XCF for these also include an option to hide the bow, should you want to recolor without the bow. But, if you do that, you need a normal map without a bow. Fear not, i got you. In the download for the XCFs, I've included a folder called Extras, with just that, extra normal maps for both the dress and jumpsuit, without the bow! You can also recolor it without the marble if you want. The normal map i made for the collection is a solid one so you don't need a different normal map for those.

And yeah, that's it!

[magneticallyyours]

Hi! I have a Erik Lehnsherr x reader fic request.

First of, you're doing god's work, we need more Magneto x reader fanfiction

So, the request - Erik x gender neutral reader, where Erik applies his "mutants are different and therefore special" kinda worldview on the gender identity of the reader? Like, the reader is like "You believe mutants shouldn't change from how they were born as, would you accept me when I need to change from how I was born due to my gender" and he is like "well, you were born genderqueer, so you're not really changing, you're just being yourself".

Fluff (with possibly little smut if you want to, idk, whatever you're comfortable writing about & you feel would suit the storyline)

Thank you!

Of course, I hope this is what you meant with the ask! Also it's the least I could do for all the Erik enjoyers out there, we're all starving. Thank you so much for the request, I hope you enjoy this. <33

𝙀𝙧𝙞𝙠 𝙇𝙚𝙝𝙣𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙧 𝙭 𝙂𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧-𝙉𝙚𝙪𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙡 𝙍𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧 || 𝘾𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙖𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙧𝙚

WARNINGS: None, just fluff.

WORDCOUNT: 902 words

Summary: Your partner, Erik, is always emphasizing the idea of staying 'as yourself', as he thinks mutants shouldn't change for human acceptance and stay just as they were born. It seems you took his words quite literally, leading to an interesting conversation.

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It was one of those days where you found yourself alone with Erik. It wasn't always that you two found the time to sit idle like this. The times that you did, you made sure to make full use of it. The brotherhood had a pretty busy schedule as you could imagine. Always something or the other to do. They had to stay on their toes at all times, of course. The humans couldn't be trusted. They were among the most wanted on the planet by now, you guessed. That was the conversation you were having with Erik, coincidentally. A pair of smooth, metal orbs hovered in circles above his palm as he spoke, gazing at them absentmindedly.

“Because of their fear, they have slaughtered our kind in droves. Naturally, the inferior species grows wary of those above it. We have evolved, far beyond their understanding. With their burning hatred for us, coexisting with them is an impossible, and frankly idiotic dream,” He spoke with disdain, shaking his head. Passionate rants like these were quite common to hear from Erik, or Magneto as he preferred now. “We shouldn't change. We have nothing to be ashamed of. From birth, we are special just as we are. If anything, humans have to change, by going extinct. Survival of the fittest is the natural order of this world,” Erik sounded matter of fact, meshing the orbs together and apart to keep himself busy as he continued. “For so many years they have oppressed us, in fear that we may be, simply put, better than them. That was always the case, unfortunately. I suppose it is their hubris.” There it was, that same line. We shouldn't change, he'd say. You'd overheard him say the same to Raven at the start. To embrace her true form, to be comfortable in her own skin. Because if she couldn't even accept herself, how could she hope for society to do the same? For weeks now, the question had been simmering in your mind. Did the same apply to you? It kept you up at night. You tiptoed around asking him upfront. Fearing the worst.

“You're awfully quiet today,” He mused out of the blue, breaking you out of your stupor. “Is something worrying you?” The orbs were abandoned, returning to his desk as he turned to fully face you, eyes boring into yours. Eyes as cold as a December morning, with a hint of warmth reserved only for you. They always managed to put you on the spot, like a deer caught in headlights. “I wanted to ask you something,” you began, taking it slow. He didn't say anything to interrupt, simply nodding slightly as he intently listened to you. “When you say that we shouldn't change… to stay as we are from birth, Does that- apply to me, too?” He seemed to think for a beat before answering. “Well, yes, of course. It applies to all of us. But in what sense?” He pressed. “As you know, I changed from the gender I was assigned at birth. I'm genderqueer, Erik. Didn’t I change, too? Doesn't it apply?” You couldn't manage much more than that as you waited to see what he'd say in response. “I don't think you've changed,” was all he said, making you raise an eyebrow in confusion. “But-” He cut you off, it seems he isn't done yet. “You didn't change anything, my dear. You were born as yourself, and as that you remain. It's all a construct. You're still- well, you. You're being yourself. It doesn't matter to me what those humans assigned to you when you were born. You decide who you are, not them.” His hand was on yours, gripping you tight enough so it was comforting, yet intense at the same time. He hadn't once broken eye contact. “I wouldn't have it any other way.”

There were a few beats of charged silence, filled with unblinking stares. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears just slightly, suddenly picking up every subtle noise in the room, from your breathing to the Newton's cradle on his desk. “You're blushing, you know. If this was what was troubling you for so long, you should've told me sooner.” He sighed again, adoration crossing his features for a split second before he continued. “I love you for you, and I hope you don't forget that,” his voice dropped, and so did your stomach. “I love you too, Erik-” You'd began, but he'd shushed you with a kiss instead. And gosh, what a kiss it was. All consuming, he kissed like a man starved. Every single time. It never failed to astonish you. It was intense, like everything about him. Your arms hooked around his neck, as he caged you in with his. Time seemed to have lost all meaning, as at one point you weren't sure how long you held the kiss. It didn't seem to matter, because the next thing you knew, you were on your back on the table with Erik on top of you. You tried to brace yourself, hearing a dull thud as you craned your neck to see what it was. The Newton's cradle had gone crashing to the floor, rolling across the floor. You reach for it, only for your arm to be pulled back by Erik. He tsked. “Let's focus on you, hmm?”

[livelaughghoul]

Kimi Raikkonen and Sebastian Vettel - Relationship Tarot Analysis

Disclaimer: This is for entertainment purposes only, nothing observed or taken away from this should be considered fact. As a reminder, I know fuck all about Formula 1, I just like fast cars and have a dumb amount of knowledge of astrology and tarot. 

This is honestly one of the most fun readings I’ve had in awhile, I almost didn’t stop at two cards. I definitely need a lore master on Seb and Kimi to give me all the tea, because I think my obsession with Kimi may be spreading to Seb, but we will see! 

Both of the cards pulled I would say are unconventional when it comes to the questions posed and I love that. I love that this was not a super straightforward answer, and it was one that required me to look into the maybe more untraditional aspect of the cards and what they mean (both the traditional meaning and the taught meanings). I love that it was two major arcana cards as well because it seems to me that both Kimi and Seb are major figures in Formula 1.  There should hopefully be a second reading completed tonight, but we will see how crazy my afternoon ends up being in the office. 

How did they benefit each other - The Devil 

I’m actually giggling so hard over this, because I was not expecting to see The Devil when it comes to any sort of benefit being brought to the table, but I love it. I need a lore master to give the tea on Seb and Kimi, because I know nothing (other than I would let Kimi turn me into a highly educated housewife). When it comes to the benefits they brought each other, I think that there was a sense of true friendship, like, these two people just kind of meshed really well together and almost became attached or a package. It’s one of those deep connections, and to play on the appearance of the card, you almost feel chained together (in a good way). While I know it sounds conradicitve, I think they brought a lot of comfort and sanity to each other, because they were in the trenches together, ya know? 

How did they challenge each other - Judgment 

This one is interesting, and also hilarious to me. To me this is one the harshest cards in Tarot, because it’s usually so abrupt. When it comes to how two people challenge each other though, I think that it is more of a mental challenge. We as humans tend to make a lot of snap judgments and get stuck in our own thought patterns. I think that Kimi and Seb may have challenged each other in that thought pattern, and challenged a lot of those snap judgments that were made. I think that this is something that continues, where there is a lot of judgment and then argument/debate and one side may change the initial positioning in their mind. 

[withlove-xixi]

I came running to your requests the second I finished reading the chilchuck writing!! You have such an incredible grasp of his character I was so impressed! Can I request a fem reader x marcielle where they both are pining for each other but don’t know if each other are queer and pathetically try and dip their feet in the water only to quickly take them out before even knowing if the waters hot or not?? I know you like doomed Yuri but please give this a happy ending where they end up together!! Marcy suffers enough 🙏🙏

If you don’t do female readers or this request doesn’t interest you feel free to ignore it! Thank you for your service in dungeon meshing fanfics lmao

— THE SUN AND THE MOON: marcille x f!reader

ᥫ cw: burn mention (used metaphorically) ᥫ wc: 3226 ★ OH ANON, SWEET ANON. I AM MORE THAN DELIGHTED TO DELIVER YOU YURI (LESBIANISM IN MY VEINS .. MY CALLING .. MY DUTY)!! anyway, i fear i might've gotten a bit carried away .. but i hope you enjoy it regardless! cross posted on ao3

— IT MUST’VE BEEN DIFFICULT BEING THE SUN.

[♡]: that was the only thought running through marcille’s mind as she watches you gingerly patch up a tear in one of her dresses. she watches fondly as your fingers nimbly thread the needle through deep blue fabric with such care and gentleness, she almost envied it. well, what choice did she have but to envy it? what choice does the moon have but to want the sun’s warmth?

RISING SUN.

That’s what you were. Something bright, something inviting, almost tempting. Marcille felt drawn to you, she always had. There was just always some quality about you that drew her in, a radiance that seemed to guide her steps to draw closer and closer to you. It was nearly instant, the inviting sunshine that pulled at her, caused her to come closer until she extended her arm out towards you and introduced herself. It did not help that you smiled so brightly and sweetly. You grabbed her hand, warmth spreading from your body to hers, shook it firmly. Marcille had to try really hard not to think too much about you after that.

For a while she really wouldn’t tell why, she couldn’t tell what specifically about you kept tempting her. She felt it, nearly every moment of your time together in the dungeon, a small part of her that would always keep you close. Marcille would walk next to you, she would try and make small talk with you, she would offer to help you. The more she let herself bask in your light and warmth, the more she felt drawn to stay, until she was comfortably resting by your side, a sunny friendship that made her heart feel fuzzy.

High noon.

That’s what you were, hot and looming. You were always close with Marcille, something she would never fully figure out the reason for. But you were there, at the corner of her eye, staying by her side at a comfortable distance, watching her tie braids in her hair, putting your bedroom adjacent to hers. The tug she had initially felt when you two first met only grew, flames that only consumed her inside, filling her with sunshiny warmth. It was hot, nearly dangerously so, hot, blazing noon heat. Marcille began to overheat, cheeks would flush when your fingers would brush against hers when you walked together, brain would malfunction when you would worriedly bandage her minor injuries, stomach would twist in knots when you would smile at her. A smile so bright and sweet.

Marcille was half-scared she would explode. Or melt into a puddle.

Heat, dangerously hot heat. With the warmth came hesitation, the fear of being burnt if she stood too close, if she lingered under sunlight too long. The idea felt more like a promise than a threat, a guarantee that getting closer to you would end in failure, leave her brunt bright red, leave her howling in pain into empty space.

She liked you, there was part of her that screamed that obvious fact to her face as much as she wanted to suppress and deny the idea, let it die down to a passing thought. In her heart Marcille knew she still longed for the sun, she still craved for your hot touch, your bright smile, your warm company. She willed it in such a way, it was no longer simple friendship. It was something deeper, heavier. It was something that went past her niceties, that stemmed from the pits of her heart.

It was an aching sort of craving, a hunger that left her immobilized. It was the temptation of a forbidden fruit, of a light that would burn.

She saw the way you were with other people. People like the men in your party. Marcille had nothing against them, but still there was a small part of her that boiled green at the way you were around them because it was the same way you were with her but different. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it but there was a difference. Something small she could feel on the tips of her senses.

Marcille saw the way you were. She saw the way you giggled at Laios’ antics as he clumsily poked at some strange plant in the dungeon. She saw the way you praised Chilchuck’s handiwork, a compliment that proved only how observant you could be. She saw the way you teased Shuro for his awkwardness in the party during meal times. It might’ve begun to piss her off had it not been you. Marcille, as jealous as she might get around the boys, could never truly bring herself to feel so terribly when it's something about you. How could she when your laugh was like the warm summer breeze, your care like fireplace warmth, your smile like starshine.

Gods! Marcille wanted to tear her hair out. It was such a pain to be hungry, to so desperately crave for light, for warmth. It was a pain to be hungry for something you know you can never have, you could never even begin to imagine the taste of.

She kept her distance, an orbit just at arms reach. The same politeness and gentleness as the beginning, with the new caution for heat. She allowed herself to bask only in the reflection of your light.

Setting sun.

That’s what you were as you gingerly patch up a tear in one of Marcille’s dresses. Strangely it felt so domestic despite the other party members that crowded around your small campsite, despite the terribly difficult fight everyone was still recovering from, despite her keeping her usual far away distance. Her gaze lingered on you, studying the way your fingered moved with such grace and tenderness, she might’ve gotten jealous of the way you treated the needle had she not remembered you had personally offered to come and patch it up for her (a fix she definitely could’ve done — or normally would’ve gotten Chilchuck to fix for her — but could she really pass up the opportunity?).

Marcille watched quietly and carefully, musing at the way you chatted with Namari as you worked, the small smile that evolved into a snort and a chuckle at something Namari said that Marcille didn’t quite care enough to hear. She smiled fondly at your direction, a soft sigh escaping her lips.

Chilchuck nudges her as he moves to sit by her side near the campfire. She paid him little attention, not bothering to glance his way as she spoke. “What do you want?” Something a bit more curt than usual, but Chilchuck doesn’t care enough to be bothered.

“It’d be easier to just talk to her, you know,” he said plainly as he opened up his waterskin to take a sip.

Marcille snorts, finally turning to him with her brows furrowed in skepticism. “Right, because you’re so suddenly an expert at forming bonds?” She jests, causing the muscle under Chil’s eye to twitch slightly.

He sighs in satisfaction once he’s finished taking his drink. He points an accusatory finger at Marcille, it catches her off guard. “I’m just saying you should talk to her at least. I’m sick of hearing you sigh and giggle when you're just… staring… at her— it’s creepy!” Chilchuck says in a scolding manner.

Marcille’s cheeks turn red at the comment. “Wh—” She begins but your soft laugh cuts through the air and her ears pick up on the sound immediately.

No doubt Chilchuck has too, but he chooses to sigh at the elven girl. “All I’m saying is communication is important.” He stands and dusts off the back of his pants. “So get it together, Marcille. Do something about… this,” He gestures a hand vaguely at Marcille, “because I’m really, really getting sick of this nonsense.”

As he walks away, Marcille watches and grumbles something about how he should mind his own business, but she feels a presence appear next to her. She senses warmth.

Rising moon.

That’s what she was. Something alluring, something enigmatic, nearly mysterious. You had never met an elf before, not saying it was a bad thing but it definitely helped shine an interest on Marcille. Of course, it didn’t help that she was pretty. You were nervous, of course you were. You were fresh meat in a new environment, your next few days would be spent underground, enclosed by damp stone walls and all sorts of beasts. She had stepped closer to you, extended a friendly hand for you to shake. She had told you her name, a sweet sounding lullaby that gracefully left her lips.

You smiled warmly at her, feeling instantly at ease with her kindness, her softness. There was something that drew you to her, a force that tugged at you to come a bit closer to take a better look at her. She was soft, gentle. It was like the breath of autumn wind, something cool, something calming. You couldn’t quite place it, but you could tell something about her tempted you, lulled you into a drowsy state. So you smiled warmly at her, shook her hand and told her your name in return, a small hope kindling inside you that this acquaintanceship would lead to something more.

Midnight.

That’s what she was, dim and looming. You quickly grew close with Marcille, after all, she was the first friend you made among the Touden party, what reason did you have not to be close to her? Besides, she was admirable. In your eyes, she shone brightly, a soft light amidst the void of night. Marcille was a reliable member of the party, always looking for things to help out with (though sometimes she would complain first despite doing it regardless), which was admirable. She was smart too, well-versed in all sorts of spells and knowledgeable in different academic topics, which was admirable too. She also was very careful in her own way, taking time to make sure she was neat and tidy, putting the effort into adorning her silken blond locks with braids and bows, ridding her beautiful features of any spec or dirt, which was admirable… in a way… Well, in the way you were able to just admire her grace, her softness. Truly she had this air of softness to her, like she was constantly followed by a halo of light, a soft glow that was calming in its own way.

Marcille was truly admirable like, that you supposed.

But still, it felt like all you could do was admire her. Despite the closeness that developed between you two, there was always this invisible force that kept you apart, a tension that seemed to hinder you from stepping forward. That, or it was distance. She felt far away to you, something you could only be stuck admiring, like painting in a museum or light on the horizon. The allure of her would always draw you near, you'd sit next to her during meal times or secretly place your bedroll closer to hers, you'd walk side by side and chat when exploring, you'd help her brush the back of her hair, but there was this feeling from the pits of your guts, a self-instilled omen of misfortune for you if you continued to allow yourself to be drawn to her.

Well, after all, you saw how she was with Falin. You had nothing against Falin, you could never even be truly mad at either of them, but whenever they were together you felt… sad. It was quite acidic as envy, but it was cold, and dark, and quiet. Of course you knew the pair had been friends since they were young, years far before your addition to the Touden party, a story Marcille always smiled about when she'd tell you; her years at the magic academy were some of her favorite stories to tell you, you're favorites only because Marcille was the one telling them. Suppose it was some form of jealousy, but really it felt more akinned to despair.

Falin and Marcille were close, far closer than you could even imagine you and Marcille could become. When Marcille wasn't with you, she was undoubtedly with Falin — or rather, when Marcille wasn't with Falin, she was with you. It felt that way at least.

But, regardless, you were no evil witch, no lunatic magician. You wouldn't even dare explicitly drive a stake between the friends, as much as you desperately wanted to be in Falin's shoes. All you did was what you had already been doing, keeping yourself at arms reach, keeping a safe distance from you and her softness, her light, her mystery. You watched from afar, as she'd laugh alongside Falin, as she'd grab her hand, as she'd leave you in searing cold.

Setting moon.

That’s what she was as you sense her gaze linger on you as you patch up one of her dresses, an act you did with such care and love, you were practically kissing better the rips in the deep blue fabric. You feel it, practically burning gently on your skin like firefly kisses, how her emerald eyes stay fixed on you, preying on how your fingers move, studying how you brush hair out of your face. You catch her gaze from the corner of your eye, the hazy look on her porcelain skin, the way the firelight illuminated her features. You try your best not to think of it too much, knowing you’d turn bright red at just the thought of her, instead focusing your attention at carefully sewing her dress, focusing on threading the needle to create perfect invisible stitches to make it look brand new, focusing on how Marcille would smile when you handed her the finished product, focusing on the thought of how she’d go on to wear the dress with your needlework on it, a secret love letter etched into the blue fabric—

“You ‘kay?” A deeper female voice calls from beside you, fortunately and quickly breaking you free from your thoughts.

“Wh- Hm?” You hum, still trying to scramble out of the lingering remnant thoughts of Marcille.

“Yer.. turnin’ red.” Namari notes as she bends a bit closer, looking at the pink dust on your cheeks.

“It’s nothing..” You softly say, instinctively sneaking a glance at Marcille before you turn back to your work.

Narami is unimpressed. She catches the shift of your eyes towards the party’s battle mage and she sighs, taking a seat next to you. “Ya thinkin’ ‘bout her again?”

Instantly a small smile breaks on your face at the mention of Marcille, you chuckle, snorting a bit before you turn to meet Namari’s face. “Am I really that obvious?” You ask but there’s no sense of embarrassment or fear, Marcille did always make you feel at ease.

She mirrors your chuckle. “‘Course.” She says plainly. “Though, I doubt anyone else noticed.” She looks up. “Chil might’ve though.”

You follow her gaze to see the half-foot next to Marcille, she seems annoyed and a bit flustered too. You let out a small laugh and resume your work on the dress. “Of course, Chilchuck’s noticed. What doesn’t he?”

Namari snorts. “Bet he was the first to notice… whatever the both of ya got goin’ on with each other.”

Your brows furrow and your hands freeze. “What’s that meant to mean?”

Namari blinks at you, almost shocked at your confusion. “Like how Marcille and ya are… Ya know…” She makes a gesture, her fingers interlocking with each other. “Ya know?”

“What?” You ask, voice a pitch higher, the initial blush on your face quickly returning. “Wh-what is that even meant to mean, Mari?”

The dwarf shrugs. “I mean- well, if ya don’t know then there’s maybe nothin’— I don’t know!” She says defensively. “I’ve just heard Chil complain ‘bout ya two, is all.”

“Complain about what?”

“Says he’s tired’a seein’ ya two keep google’ at each other an—”

You sit up straight, causing her to pause abruptly. You look at her incredulously, eyes wide, mouth slightly agape, brows furrowed. “Two of us?” You ask in a loud whisper. “Two of us?”

Marcille feels your warmth next to her, she feels her world begin to shine in radiant light. She turns to you, a little awestruck as she usually is when she looks at you, especially when you smile the way you’re smiling at her right now.

“Finished your dress,” you say sweetly, softly, like the sweet kiss of morning sunlight through the curtain.

She smiles at you like moonbeams across the ocean. “Thank you,” she replies. Your fingers touch when you pass the clothing to her, a featherlight brush against her like fate was teasing you with a small taste of what you craved.

You sit next to each other in silence, the same comfortable silence weighed on by that thick tension. Marcille smooths over the area where you stitched, fingers gingerly tracing over the invisible lines where your thread passed through her dress. You swallow thickly as you watch her, eyes following each gentle stroke of your fingers. You envy the fabric.

“Marcille,” your voice causes her to look up at you, your face catches the firelight like the honeyed rays of the sun.

“Hm?” She hums in response, head tilting to the side in curiosity. “What is it?”

You lean towards her, brows twitching and you try and muster your courage. “Do you… Do you… like me?” you ask timidly.

Oh, Marcille feels like she would die right now.

Her face instantly flushes red and she jolts upright. “What?” She nearly yells. 

You blink, trying terribly hard not to let your heart feel heavy. “Have I… gotten the wrong impression?”

“N-no! That— It’s—” She sighs. Suppose there isn’t really a way to talk out of it now. She opens her mouth to speak but you beat her to it.

“N-Namari told me to ask. She says it’s been pretty obvious.” You explain timidly, your gaze drifting away from her as wring your hands together. “She said… I was pretty obvious about it too…”

“About…?”

“I…” You take a deep breath, “I like you, Marcy.”

And it was like the world had suddenly shattered. That invisible force that held you two apart finally vanished with the air, leaving you two to allow each other to be pulled into one another like magnets.

Marcille’s eyes shine brightly, hopefully even. She leans closer, one hand gripping tightly against her dress, the same one you had so carefully taken the time to fix for her, the same one she had envied. The other hand lingers in the air, fingers twitching as she hesitates one final time, the final remnants of the tension between you two still trying desperately to cling on.

“Th… I— I like you too…”

You smile, the same smile when you first met, so brightly and sweetly. Relief washes over you, like you had just suddenly been doused in ice cold water. She reaches out to you with her free hand, very slowly making its way to cup your cheek.

“I think… I’ve liked you for a long time now,” Marcille says, punctuates it by saying your name so sweetly, like it was devised for her and only her to speak.

Her thumb smooths over your cheek, caressing your face in such a tender manner. You lean into the touch, moving your own hand to go over hers. You two stare at each other for a bit, tunnel visioning only into each other, allowing everything else around you to blur into distant colors.

You lean forwards, closer to her, and you hear a small gasp leave her lips when she realizes what would happen next. You smile fondly at the noise.

Then the sun and the moon finally meet in total eclipse.

[roaringroa]

MY BROTHER JUST TEXTED ME SAYING HE’S GONNA PROPOSE TO HIS GIRLFRIEND TONIGHT???

i just love my brothers so much

[naminethewriter]

First Date and Spies

This was written for @artisticallygay as part of the @sanderssidesgiftxchange! The requests were Remus and Logan going on a date, Virgil and Logan stargazing and Roman and Remus getting along! I hope you enjoy!

Summary: Logan and Remus both don't have any experiences with going on dates and as the former's best friend and the latter's brother, Virgil and Roman just want to make sure nothing goes wrong.

Content Warnings: None

Read here on Ao3!

~~*~~

“It is not too cold, is it?” Logan asks and Virgil squints at him.

“No, it’s fine, but you’re being weird, dude.”

“I do not know what you’re talking about,” he says stiffly. Virgil is getting annoyed. Logan’s been his best friend since they were five. He can read him like a book, and he knows that, so why does he insist on doing stuff like this when he knows it doesn’t work?

Virgil sighs, letting himself fall from his sitting position into a lying one and stares at the stars. It’s been a sort of tradition for the two of them to stargaze together at least once every few months in Logan’s backyard, ever since he’d been gifted that telescope when they’d been eight or so. Now they were both eighteen, in their last year of high school and Virgil did his best not to think about the fact that they might not be able to do this as frequently anymore once they graduate.

So instead, he goes back to what’s been bothering him initially.

By now, Logan has taken his seat next to him, though he seems to have decided to remain upright, staring up into the stars with a strange expression on his face.

“Lo, c’mon. You know you can tell me anything,” Virgil prompts gently, propping himself up on his arms to get a better look at Logan’s face in the low light.

He did not expect his friend’s face to turn red.

Not deep red, but he does still flush.

“I… Um…” Logan stutters, even more uncharacteristic of him but Virgil gives him time to find his words. “I was asked on… a romantic outing. At school. Today,” he finishes eventually. Virgil’s eyebrows shoot up and he hurries into a sitting position.

“Wow. What did you say?”

“I agreed.”

A smile spreads across Virgil’s lips, until a thought crosses his mind.

“It wasn’t a threat thing or a prank though, right?” he asks, seriously. Logan immediately shakes his head.

“Not at all. Remus was very clear that he would accept any answer I gave him and that I could take my time to do so. And I do not think he is the type of person to play such a horrible prank.”

“Remus?! Remus Prince?”

“Yes. He is a friend of yours, correct?”

“Well, yeah. And I knew he had kind of a thing for you, but I didn’t think he’d act on it! He talks a lot about his attractions to certain people, makes sex jokes all the time, but never actual relationships. Now that I think about it, he has started talking more about weird conversations you were having and not so much about your butt anymore.”

That gets another flush on Logan’s cheeks and Virgil snickers.

“You are right that he would never ask anyone out as a prank though. Not only does he think it’s cruel, but his brother would also kick his ass. You know how Roman’s obsessed with true love and relationships and stuff.”

“Yes, I am aware,” Logan says after clearing his throat. “Be that as it may, Remus has invited me to the science museum and has explicitly stated that he intends it to be a date. And while I am interested to explore that kind of relationship with him, I am not sure how to prepare for such an event.”

Virgil has to try really hard not to giggle at how formal Logan is being. It’s clear that he’s embarrassed by his lack of experience and Virgil would never judge him for it, but he can’t help but think his stiff way of asking for help is kinda cute.

“Don’t worry, Lo. I’ll help you get ready. I don’t know a lot about dating myself but I’m sure together we can figure out some sort of game plan.”

“Thank you.”

~~*~~

“Remus, I know you love it, and I hate to admit you do look good in it, but you’re not going to wear mesh or fishnets on your date!”

“The hell not?!”

“Because you invited Logan to the science museum! On a school holiday! There will be tons of kids and it’s a bit of a classy place! At least try to match the vibe a bit.”

“So, I can’t be slutty?” Remus pouts at his brother who is sitting on his bed. Roman has experience dating so Remus thought it might be good to ask him for some tips, but he is starting to regret it just a bit. Even if Roman has a point.

“You can be a bit but dial it down to like 10% or something. I mean, Logan also hasn’t seen you much outside of school, right? Hitting him with too much ‘sluttiness’ might scare him off or fluster him too much.”

Remus snorts as Roman actually uses air quotes around the word ‘sluttiness’. At least he’s gotten him to stop reprimanding him for improper language two years ago.

“Fine, fine! I will cover up more. But I am taking the leather jacket with all the pins.”

“At least take the middle finger one off. And keep a distance from any children or you’ll have to deal with Karen’s yelling about you corrupting their children again. Let me tell you, it’s kinda fun to watch you mess with them from a distance but if I’m next to you and in spitting range? Not so much. And I do hope you’re not planning to go around the museum without Logan.”

“Stop being so smart, it’s kinda annoying,” Remus complains with no real bite as he grabs his leather jacket and removes the advised pin as well as one or two more with rather large and easy-to-read fonts.

“Thank you for noticing my brilliance.”

“Shut up!” Remus giggles as he puts the pins away in a safe place and launches himself at his brother for a short, friendly fight atop his bed.

~~*~~

He’s a genius, Roman decides as he crouches behind a bush outside of the science museum, pretending to look for a coin he ‘accidentally’ dropped. Through the holes in the thicket, he can just make out his brother and his date talking on the steps before the entrance. His mission has officially begun.

While he does have a good vantage point to spy on Remus, he should be pretty much invisible to them, especially since he planned his outfit with this in mind, for once going with a darker color palette than his usual, even though he couldn’t resist some lighter accents – he didn’t want to end up looking like an emo after all.

“What are you doing in a bush, princey?” a voice suddenly whispers right next to his ear and Roman squeaks. Thankfully he had been present enough to not literally jump and blow his cover completely and a glance towards the entrance shows him that his brother and his date are making their way inside none the wiser to his presence.

He sharply turns to the person next to him with a scowl.

“What the hell was that?!” he hisses. “You almost blew my cover!”

Virgil Storm simply grins at him in a way that just infuriates him further.

“Cover? I thought you were looking for your coin you so convincingly, accidentally dropped.”

“You— I— That— Ugh! Just shut it!” Confirming with another glance that Remus and Logan have indeed gone inside, Roman stands up. “What I do here is none of your business!”

“So you weren’t spying on your brother and my best friend as they’re going on their first date?”

“Of course not! Who do you take me for!” Roman scoffs, even though that has been exactly what he had been doing. And was still intending to do.

“Right, sorry, your royal highness would of course never stoop so low, it’s not very honorable now, is it?”

Roman can see the teasing smile on Virgil’s lips and yet he can’t help but be a bit hurt by his words.

“I’m just worried about him,” he admits, his willingness to argue having left him. “He’s had crushes before but never as intense as this one. I just don’t want him to do anything stupid because he got nervous or something.”

Roman avoids looking at Virgil, staring firmly at the museum’s entrance as if his words might summon an angry Logan storming outside. He startles as a hand is placed on his shoulder.

“You don’t need to justify yourself, princey. It’s not like I’m here to look at the exhibits.”

His mouth falls open as Roman takes Virgil’s words in before he smacks him in the side, albeit lightly.

“What are you judging me for then if you’re here for the same reason?!”

“One, because you looked like you were trying so hard to play the spy it was ridiculous and I couldn’t not tease you and two, because I’m not ashamed that’s what I’m here for. Lo’s my best friend and while I do kinda trust Remus, I know he’s a bit of a loose canon at times. I’ve got anxiety, thinking up the worst-case scenarios is kinda my thing.”

“I was so being casual,” Roman grumbles. Virgil rolls his eyes before he walks past him.

“No, you weren’t. Now let’s go in before we lose them completely and this will have been a complete waste of time.”

With a huff, Roman follows his lead.

~~*~~

“So, how long are we gonna let them follow us?” Remus asks about half an hour into their date. Logan turns from where he’d been studying the plaque of an exhibit to see Remus watching the room’s entrance with a grin on his face.

“Oh, I wasn’t really considering telling them to stop. I know Virgil is here out of concern for me and while I do not know the motives of your brother, I assumed they would leave once they were satisfied that we are not about to tear each other to shreds.”

“That sounds like it could be kinda fun though! I wonder who of us would win if we were in a death match. I mean, I am probably stronger than you and have more experience fighting but you’re surprisingly nimble and have a great reaction time, so you might be able to outmaneuver me.”

“Interesting points,” Logan hums, considering the scenario. “I would need more data to come to a conclusion on the matter I believe, so I propose to table this discussion for another time.”

Remus grins at him now, no longer watching the entrance. Logan watches a flash of purple hurry past it.

“You already proposing a second date?”

“So far I am not opposed. But I will leave the final judgement to later in the day.”

“Fair. Anyway, back to the actual topic, when’d you figure out we were being tailed?”

“Before we even came in. As you know, Virgil and I have been friends for a very long time and I know his habits probably even better than his parents. I spotted his bicycle as I made my way towards the entrance. I believe Virgil, due to his heightened anxiety, wanted to make sure that he arrived here on time and hid in the coffee shop across the street until we met up.”

Remus raises an eyebrow at him.

“You can tell which bike was his? The park out back was pretty full, there must’ve been a lot of bikes.”

“Yes, there were. But Virgil does not like to park his bicycle where most would park it since he is afraid of not being able to find it later but also does not want to leave it in a hidden spot where it can be more easily stolen. Add in the factor of not wanting to be found out, it was reasonable to assume he would leave his bicycle in an area with some others to blend in but not unable to be found. Not to mention, the only thing I need to do to confirm my suspicions about it being Virgil’s vehicle, I just needed to check how it was locked. Again, due to his anxiety, Virgil is very particular about how he locks it. He has one lock with a numbered code and one that requires a key. He makes sure to connect his bicycle to a stable object with one and uses the other to secure the back tire to the frame.”

“Wow, I feel like I’m learning more about the Emo than I am you,” Remus chuckles. Logan feels his face heat up with embarrassment. Maybe that was too detailed an explanation for a date.

“I apologize.”

“Nah, don’t. It’s fascinating stuff. Your observation skills are impressive.”

“As are yours. When did you notice them?”

“I can distinguish Roman’s high-pitched yelp from thousand others. Your little nightmare of a best friend startled him quite bad outside.”

“I see. Well, considering how they have now taken over our topic of conversation, I do believe it might be appropriate to tell them to stop after all. I would like to give you my full attention.”

“Yeaaaaaaahhhhhhh, I guess you’re right,” Remus sighs. “It would be kinda fun to turn this around on them and scare them or something, but I guess I can mess with Roman some other time and I don’t actually want your purple cat to hate me.”

“I do not own a cat,” Logan blinks, confused. He and Remus have talked about pets previously, had he forgotten? And how does that relate to their current conversation anyway?

“I meant Virgil. He hisses like a cat sometimes and follows you around like he’s your pet, it’s kind of a bad attempt at a nickname.”

“I see. I will endeavor to understand your humor more.”

“Aw, thanks!” Remus giggles and Logan finds he likes the sound.

“I will text Virgil now.”

“Tell him I said hi.”

~~*~~

From Logan

While I do appreciate you worrying about me, I am having a very good time with Remus. If you could please take Roman and leave, I would be very grateful.

Also, Remus says ‘hi.’

Virgil looks down at his phone and snorts.

“C’mon, princey, we’re leaving.” He grabs Roman’s arm and starts dragging him towards the exit.

“Wha-! Why? I’m not done!”

“Our cover’s blown, so it doesn’t matter anyway.”

Roman stops struggling but stops moving, too.

“What do you mean?”

“Here,” Virgil says as he holds up his phone to show Roman the text he just got from Logan. “My guess is they’ve known for a while.”

Roman’s eyes flutter across the screen and his face turns a bit red.

“I thought we were being so subtle though!” he whines but does start following Virgil outside.

“As if subtlety is something you’re capable of,” Virgil snorts and dodges the responding attempt of Roman to smack him in the side again. “Let me buy you a coffee or something. This was a lot less stressful with someone else.” Roman smiles at that, looking so genuinely happy that Virgil can’t resist teasing him again, “Especially with someone so much worse at it than me.”

“Hey!” Roman calls after him, pouting once again, as Virgil speed walks ahead of him, unable to contain his grin.

[random-french-girl]

Okay I'm doing it. I'm righting my wrongs. I am finishing campaign 1 of Critical Role, which I abandoned YEARS ago somewhere in the mid 90s episodes because, idk, life happened and I lost interest.

I started back at episode 94, I'm up to episode 99 now and my two main takeaways are:

1) I'm never gonna love Vox Machina as much as I love the M9 or Bell's Hells. Part of it is honestly just personal taste: there's like, only two characters I truly love (Vex and Keyleth, my beloveds) and a few relationships that I care about (the twins, Percy and Kiki's friendship, Vax/Keyleth to some extent, obviously Vex/Keyleth), whereas in the M9 and BH I'm interested in almost everyone, and I love soooo many dynamics! Another part of it (which may also be subjective) is that in CR2 and CR3 I find the cast SO much more at ease with each other's play styles. Like the group dynamic has truly solidified and they all mesh together so well. There's less cross talk, less awkwardness, less moments of tension; there's more balance, more understanding and patience and open joy at everyone doing their thing.

2) That being said, watching Vox Machina is still a uniquely rewarding experience, because yeah they're still finding their footing as a production, but they're also all playing characters they visibly know and love so so so much, characters they created/played for themselves before they ever did for an audience... I don't know, it's less polished, but also when you get to the later VM campaign episodes, the characters truly are family in an organic way that comes, I imagine, from the fact that the cast has spent more time with them than any other characters, and from the fact that these were their first PCs. It feels very nostalgic, in the best way.

[imminent-danger-came]

Im asking cause i really like your theories - do you think theres a reason why peng is so focused on macaque? He talked to him first in 4x02, mentions him out of nowhere even when no one does, and even seems bitter when mentioning the hold wukong has on him. I joke he has an unrequited crush on macaque and hes pulling on his pigtails, but the fact lmk both made him have a big obsession with macaque and had him escape instead of just jailing him like yellowtusk, makes me feel theres a reason for it

There could easily be some jttw thing I don't know, or there could not, but I'll do my best to provide some insight based off of what we see in lmk!

So, I think Peng and Macaque quite simply just don't mesh. This is used as a way to highlight their differences, as well as set up the eventual fight between Macaque and Peng in 4x13. Peng dislikes the way Macaque goes about things, especially because Macaque prefers to be methodical and cautious while Peng loves to foolhardily fight:

Macaque: "Look Wukong—I get you're excited, I do! But crossing the jade emperor is going to have consequences- and you're not listening. *sigh*" Peng: "You always were the most cowardly of the bunch Macaque, slinking around in the shadows like a rodent—well I for one am done with squabbling for scraps!"

(4x02 New Adventures)

-

Sun Wukong: "Peng is the most dangerous foe any of you have ever faced—buuuuut, the only thing they care more about than fighting is self preservation." (4x12 The Plan Man)

-

These two characters are foils. Where Macaque has a difficult time leaving-

Peng: "The six-eared Macaque fighting side by side with his own replacements! Is there anything Wukong could do that would break his hold over you?" (4x13 Rip and Tear)

-Peng on the other hand runs the moment things turn south. They abandon their brothers, valuing their own life over anyone else's and making it clear that no one has a hold on them the same way people have a hold on Macaque. Macaque never wanted to reach for more, yet Peng is motivated by their lust for wealth and status. They're "done with squabbling for scraps" and are glad to say goodbye to Camel Ridge—or "this dump"—clearly focused on material things more than anything else.

Macaque: "No that's YOU! You're the one always running off! Looking for more power, more sources of immortality—you're the one who wouldn't quit while were were ahead! Not the great sage, he's got to drag EVERYONE else into his mess!" (4x11 A Lifetime of Mistakes)

((I will say, however, I wonder why Peng chose to leave Heaven in the first place. Their motivations aren't as noble as Azure's and Yellowtusks'—what forced them out of their spot in the Celestial Court, if anything did?))

As for mentioning Macaque out of no where—I wouldn't say that's the case! Macaque was the last remaining member of the Brotherhood they had yet to cross paths with in 4x09, it makes perfect sense that Peng would bring him up while talking about reforging the Brotherhood after failing to win over DBK. Of course, Azure and Yellowtusk don't care—Macaque was basically the boyfriend Wukong kept bringing around that no one else liked.

Which...3x08 anyone?

Macaque: "*laughs* Together? Remind me again exactly what it is you contribute to the team? They seem to get on just fine without you! Don't take it personally Tang—your buddy Wukong values people by how useful they are to him. Take it from me as an...expert in what happens when you get too close to the king. Look out for number one, because if you don't? No one will." (3x08 Benched)

Another thing that piques my interest is Peng's choice to run, a cowardly choice, something that in another time they surely would have insulted Macaque for. ESPECIALLY because, Macaque is the one who instead makes the choice to stay in 4x13/4x13, helping to seal the Jade Emperor's power.

So ya. They foils.

Moving on, with the whole "Peng escaping rather than being imprisoned" plot point, I'd call attention to this 4x12 scene:

Peng: "Hm. I was expecting a little more pageantry while we were the ones running the show! Turns out Azure even trapped the cup bearers in the scroll. Pouring one's own drinks does tend to dampen the mood." Yellowtusk: "We are missing more than waitstaff brother—look around! This is not the change we dreampt of." Peng: "Oh, I don't know, a little bit of chaos might be good for the world!"

(4x12 The Plan Man)

-

Peng's specific use of the word chaos here leads me to believe that their going to somehow become involved with our who-done-it underworld plot. If Peng is one for chaos, and "the universe is perilously close to tipping into chaos", then it's 1+2. Now that Peng is free and Yellowtusk is imprisoned (very Macaque and SWK of them), I think it's quite possible Peng could work to free Yellowtusk next season, and Yellowtusk might downright refuse (very UNLIKE Macaque and SWK of them). Peng and Yellowtusk's motivations were extremely different since the beginning, and I think the rift between these two will be something explored down the line.

As for Peng and Macaque, I'm sure they'll get another confrontation! Something like Peng offering Macaque a "way out" from whatever our secret puppet-master has planning, and Macaque, in a beautiful choice of showing off his character development, chooses to instead stick it out with SWK and MK. It'll be something that highlights how much Macaque has developed and grown, while showing off Peng's vices.

[semper-legens]

124. Of the Flesh

Owned: No, library Page count: 276 My summary: A woman scorns another on a flight and finds herself gaining weight no matter how little she eats. A child labourer in a mine prays to an ancient deity. A woman flees the ghost of her lover's wife. An immigrant attempts to escape his tormentor. Horror and reality mesh together in this collection of creepy short stories. My rating: 3/5

I'm a sucker for a horror short story collection. I love horror stories, and the short story format is one that perfectly lends itself to horror - a creepy concept, a quick twist in the tale, in and out quickly but in a way that leaves a lasting impression, particularly if it is a tale well-told. So this one, with a creepy flower eyeball on the front, looked very much like the kind of thing I could find myself liking. In practice, it was a bit more of a mixed bag. I haven't exactly been subtle in the past about my feelings on litfic, that particularly pretentious genre of literary fiction where we don't use speech marks for some fucking stupid reason and everything's just kind of wanky and nonsense. Well, this fell into that more often than I would have liked, and I have to mark it down for that. Don't get me wrong, there was a lot to like here, but…it was just sort of less than I would have liked. Worth a read, but I'm not really gonna be looking to track it down again, you know?

Overall, this collection was very much a mixed bag. We had some stories that were just kind of there to be stories, just there to be creepy, and there's nothing wrong with that! There were also the stories that were there to deliver a moral or that had a message, and that was interesting…in some cases. The beauty and the peril of the short story is that you don't have a lot of time to get your ideas across, and some of these stories fell prey to that pitfall. Some of the stories in this collection don't really seem to have much of a point, or are trying to create an ambiguous atmosphere but just end up being too vague, or something like that. There's a lot of misses here, though some of the hits really hit! The tone of them was creepy over outright horror, which sometimes worked and sometimes didn't. A real variety here, but unfortunately the variety was between things that worked and things that didn't.

I'll talk about two of the stories that I had a particularly strong reaction to here, as an example of what I mean. The first is Going Large, a story I very much didn't like. The premise of it is that this woman, who is obsessed with being skinny, sees a larger woman on a plane and treats her very unkindly. She then finds herself gaining weight, no matter how little she eats, and sees the world treat her far worse because of it. She works out that if she eats a lot, she actually loses weight, so ends up eating lots and returning to her previous appearance, but with a bit more of understanding and solidarity with larger women. The moral thrust of this story was flawed. As someone who is overweight myself, I really didn't like that the protagonist is 'punished' for being an asshole by being fat. The way she's described at the larger weight frames it as disgusting - she's huge, she's fat, she's greasy, she's wearing unflattering clothes, all of this - which I don't think promotes the anti-discrimination message that I think the author was going for. Yes, society treats fat people abysmally, in particular fat women, but if the narrative frames being fat as a disgusting punishment (even from the clearly-not-nice protagonist's point of view) it isn't going to make fat women feel any better about being fat. The fact that she's skinny in the end doesn't mitigate it any. Oh, she's a skinny woman who has to eat hamburgers. Skinny women who eat a lot in the real world are treated as quirky - fat women are demonised for eating anything. The story also makes weight discrimination seem like more of a personal thing, when really it's a societal issue. If every individual became nicer, that wouldn't stop systemic discrimination against fat people. The story just doesn't tackle its themes well, and that's really disappointing in this kind of morality horror.

The second, which I considered to be the best of the collection, was Shade. In this story, a Bolivian child works in a silver mine, and becomes close to the local folk deity of the mine, El Tío. The supernatural horror angle is in El Tío's adoption of the boy, and how El Tío protects him from kidnappers when they come for him later, but the more interesting angle is that of colonial violence and how the protagonist and his community have been affected by the ongoing mark of colonialism. The story isn't exactly subtle about it - the protagonist talks about how his people have had Pachamama forcibly replaced with El Tío, for example - but the brutality of life under colonialism is in everything. The fact that this child is mining and can't go to school. The fact that this is the best he can get, that this industry will kill him one way or another, the way that the mountain eats men in a metaphorical and all too literal way. The fact that they are mining for the benefit of other people, that they will never see the bounty of their efforts and that the silver they mine is worth more than they will see in a lifetime. It's a very real problem affecting many places in the real world, and its portrayal here is both brutal and necessary. This is an issue that more people should be aware of, should be angry about, and the story is very clear where it stands. And it's also a creepy horror story!

Next up, ancient Rome, and this time we're checking out what women are up to!