#I just kinda feel like some may say I am a 'faker' for it when I reveal who they are

[vicewiccanblog]

7 / 1 / 2024

I feel like I'd be more of a 'medium' type Witch. I wanna get into Cooking and Herb magic, but I seem to have a natural affinity for the more spiritual side of it all. Especially when I was growing up.

I remember when I was growing up, I'd have 'future vision' type dreams (don't remember the term atm) where I'd see events well into the future. And it was always accurate, I'd get 'deja vu' moments out of nowhere and sometimes I'd even stop myself from saying the same things as I had in the original dream. But I couldn't control when these 'dreams' happened, nor could I determine how far it was into the future...though, now that I think back, the visions came true normally two whole years after I have them. But I wouldn't have any more until after they happened either.

I ended up losing that ability as I reached adulthood, and I feel kinda sad about it. I was never trained to learn how to keep that ability, plus my trauma got really bad and I closed myself off for a long time to those parts of me. And now I want them back, but I don't know how to start. The only ability I gained (after opening myself up again) was Lucid Dreaming, but even that felt like a 'natural' ability to me. Like I was meant to gain it, and every time I Lucid Dream it just happens. I gain abilities in those dreams, ones that I feel represent my personal progress and show how much stronger I've become. It's really cool when it happens, I feel like my dreams always mean something even if I don't remember most of them.

I'll probably look into how I can get my old prophetic dreams back, and help myself Lucid Dream more often. But it does feel like, when I want these things to happen, they just don't. And I'm scared that I'll lose these abilities for good one day. But I'll still try, because I want to open myself more to the spiritual side and explore that myself. And I hope that my protector will help guide me through it, along with my deity who I know is watching over me and probably laughing while they enjoy seeing me work through mt struggles.

[akihabaradivision]

Nikki's Thoughts on Division Leaders

Ichiro Yamada

"Ichiro? Yeah, I know him. He and I don't meet face-to-face, but we do often chat online. You'd never think a guy like him would be into games, but 'appearances can be deceiving', as they say. He's actually not that bad. He's got pretty good hand-eye coordination. Besides that, he also seems to be a good guy. It's no wonder his brothers sing praises of him all the time.

"It's kinda obvious that Keiko likes him. I don't know why she doesn't just tell him that. What's the worse that happens? He doesn't reciprocate her feelings?"

Samatoki Aohitsugi

"Keiko seems to hate this guy with a passion. I don't know if its because of Ichiro, or she just doesn't care for Yakuza members. Me, I don't really care either way. As long as he sticks to Yokohama and not Akihabara, he can do whatever he wants."

Ramuda Amemura

"...I really don't know why this guy is so well-liked by people. I mean, despite his youthful looks, its plain to see that he's hiding something. That youthful look may have the rest of Akihabara fooled, but not me. He's faker than zirconia."

Jakurai Jinguji

"Sad as I am to admit, I've often had to visit Jakurai for my RSI. He was the one who prescribed me my wristband, which I hate wearing, by the way. Though I don't care much for doctors, he actually seems to know what he's doing, and cares for his patients. I don't claim to understand what he's talking about when he raps, but it sounds wise, so I don't question it."

Sasara Nurude

"Nikki seems to like this guy, but I personally don't. I don't have a... sense of humor, so when people say something funny, it often flies right over my head. And when Nikki tried to telling me some of this guy's material, it was the same thing."

Kuko Harai

"I don't really care much for religion. I don't waste time thinking about things like life after death, which is ironic since I'm friends with a paranormal investigator. In any case, I only know this guy because I heard he was in a rap group with Ichiro. Other than that, I've nothing to say about him."

[whatiwillsay]

t 2017 playlist analysis

Alright folks, whether you’re newly indoctrinated in the swiftgron faith, or have been here for a while, buckle up because boy is there crack coming your way.  It should be important to note that these are of course reaches and should be taken with a grain/pound of salt.  What you’re about to read is a lyrical analysis of a playlist made by Dianna on her private spotify, titled ‘t 2017.’  Therefore, the only real ‘evidence’ we have to make connections lies in the lyrics, and the general vibe of the playlist.

The following lyrical analyses stems from the idea that Taylor and Dianna may, and I strongly say may have hooked up, possibly around late 2016, or early 2017 (right when this playlist was made).  If you haven’t already, I highly suggest reading Cam’s Swiftgron timeline that she has meticulously and laboriously outlined for all of us, so you have more background knowledge on any reaches/connections made.  Also listen to her pod for extra serotonin cause I know you bitches want it.  Anyway, I digress– I’ll be pointing out only the songs/lyrics that I think are most relevant (and to make this post shorter, I apologize in advance) but I urge y’all to take a look at each songs’ lyrics to see for yourself, because some of these songs seem loud af.  Ok happy reading!

Genesis- Grimes

My heart, I never feel I never see I never know Oh, heart And then it falls And then I fall And then I know

This verse talks about the unpredictable nature of love, you never know when those feelings could come rushing in, and there could be days when you feel like you’re never going to love again– gives me cowboy like me vibes with that particular sentiment.

Home and I know Playing the deck above It’s always different I am the one in love

Ok I don’t think this one needs any explanation other than tis the damn season.

1998- Chet Faker

We used to be friends We used to be inner circle I don’t understand What have I become to you

This verse is giving me major the 1 vibes– “rosé flowing with your chosen family” kinda thing.  Relationships (yes, even hookups) are hard, especially when you go from knowing someone like the back of your hand, to a being a mere memory.  It’s even harder when you run in the same social circles and are bound to bump into each other.  What are you to do with all those unresolved emotions/lack of closure?  I just find this a bit funny because two years later at SNL, Dianna is actually considered Taylor’s ‘inner circle’ at the afterparty.  

Drops- Jungle

When you’re so high, you When you fall from the sky, you So come down from the clouds Come down on me

I’ve been loving you too long

I’ve been loving you too long

This song sort of encapsulates the feeling of love that is intoxicating, one might even say addicting.  In that sense, I’m getting major Style vibes, in that they keep coming back to each other because of that high and intoxicated love.  More than anything, this verse reminds me of Clean, and of course Dianna’s infamous tweet, “withdrawals…clearly we had fun” (see Cam’s swiftgron masterpost/timeline for receipts).

Ritual Union- Little Dragon

Straight off the bat, this song gives off major infidelity vibes (something Taylor has been obsessed with as evidenced by Evermore, and of course Babe which btw had a lot of social media signalling/shenanginas happening in 2017/2018).  Perhaps Winston was the cuck after all and we did get a swiftgron hookup? 

Ritual union’s got me in trouble again I was wonderin’ of a white dress And the mistress And a spirit holding my hand!

You do the math with that one– ivy anyone?

Daniel- Bat For Lashes

Daniel when I first saw you I knew that you had a flame in your heart And under our blue skies Marble movie skies I found a home in your eyes We’ll never be apart

I only have two words to explain this verse– Begin Again

But in a goodbye bed With my arms around your neck Into our love the tears crept Just catch in the eye of the storm

With this verse in particular, there’s this sense of a heartbreaking parting of ways in a relationship.  It feels eerily similar to This Love– “your kiss, my cheek, I watched you leave.”  There’s also a mention of a storm, and we all love a good old storm in the swiftgron universe (Clean, DBATC, CIWYW).

Can’t Do Without You- Caribou

I swear to god these are the only two lyrics

Can’t do without

I can’t do without you

Make of that what you will.

Touch- Shura

This was the song that had me fully convinced that swiftrgon might’ve hooked up again in the recent past.  It’s so fucking loud and I did audibly gasp when I read these lyrics.  I’m so tempted to post the entire song because honestly every lyric fits their narrative almost to a t, but I’ll try putting the loudest lyrics here.

There’s a love between us still But something’s changed and I don’t know why And all I wanna do is go home with you But I know I’m out of my mind

This love is good, this love is bad.  This slope is treacherous, I like it.  If the hookup did happen, it’s clear that it’s a bit hard to just pick up immediately from where you left off.  Of course there’s still a lot of love there, it just takes time for those years to melt away.

I wanna touch you but I’m too late I wanna touch you but there’s history I can’t believe that it’s been three years Now when I see you, it’s so bittersweet

Ok this is basically swiftgron’s story right here, I mean come on?!?

I’m running down a dream like Tom Petty, I’m a heartbreaker But then you changed up a relationship, I’m mostly bankrupt There’s a new kid on your block, I gotta hang tough

Cowboy like me anyone?

Yeah, the effect of touch hands is like a miracle How is it you’re halfway across the world when I’m still feeling you? Just a touch of my love, just a little bit Ain’t no love without trust, we gotta deal with this

Gives me treacherous and wonderland vibes– “I’ll do anything you say if you say it with your hands” and “you searched the world for something else to make you feel like what we had.”

iT- Christine and the Queens

I feel like this song gives off major Reputation vibes– controlling your narrative/ ridiculing what other people thought you were, etc. 

With it I become the death Dickinson feared With it I’m the red admiral on his ship And I raise with infants for my coronation I’ve ruled over my all my dead impersonations

‘Cause I’ve got it I’m a man now

Sunday Love- Bat For Lashes

This is a literal weekend hookup anthem (major tis the damn season vibes) and is also one of the other songs that convinced me of the swiftgron hookup.  Again, please look at all the lyrics and deduce for yourself and freak out like I did, but I’m putting the loudest lyrics down.

See her in blue eyes Numb and shining In the face of strangers In the city lights Where he’s climbing Cupid’s diving And I know that she’s come To spend the night

She is in my bedroom Now I can’t fight 

Blue eyed lady coming to your house to fuck you. Ok Dianna, real subtle with that. I’m joking but I snorted when I saw this lyric.

I see her in every place I go Sunday love is so cold Even though I’m falling apart I want Sunday love in my heart

You could call me babe for the weekend cause it’s the damn season.  Also “I see you everywhere the only thing we share is this small town.”

Sweet Talk- Jessie Ware

There’s never any doubts when i need you It’s just that you can always make me feel like I am slipping in way too deep And let the shadows hope to hide or break the dreaming, dreaming of us

The vibe of this song is that there’s someone who always pulls you in because they know exactly what to say.  They found wonderland and got lost in it. 

Dear To Me- Electric Guest

When it’s bad Feels like I don’t know which way I should go But over time I come back and remember The one thing that I know

You’re dear to me and I know 

I know I’ve tied so many songs to ttds, but I guess it’s all the more reason to claim that one for swiftgron nation?  This verse reminds me of  “the road not taken looks real good now, and it always leads to you and my hometown.”

Got It Bad- Leisure

This song was added much later to the playlist on Taylor’s birthday in 2019. All other songs were added early feb of 2017.  With this song, I don’t get much except cowboy like me vibes.

Got our different ways with the same old payout Had our own dreams with the same old outcome Had a bad extreme and the same old break down Worked it to the bone with the same old habit

Et voila, that’s the end! I know this was super long so thanks for sticking through.  Again please note that these reaches were made because we are a little biased through a swiftgron lens.  It’s very possible that Dianna simply likes these songs and put it on a playlist, but let’s be real, gays practically communicate through spotify.  This is not fact and not proof for anyone to hound Dianna or invade in her or Taylor’s personal life, this is just for swiftgron fun.  That said, I’m personally inclined to believe that something did happen between Taylor and Dianna in 2017 possibly.  That’s all I have to say, thanks!

submission⬆️⬆️⬆️

ANON THIS WAS AMAZING YOU JUST MADE MY MORNING!!!

you should make a gaylor blog if you don’t have one already we NEED more of this content!

[has-gilgamesh-doneanythingwrong]

SLEEPOVER☆CHAOS

In which my mastersona, Seihai-kun; joins Gudako and Mash for one heck of a fun sleepover!!!

Secrets and hidden emotions are finally exposed! ;)

(naw i just like sleepovers)

Cold, billowing gusts of snow rattled against the glistening window panes; as the mundane, clinically white halls of Chaldea sparkled like brand-new.

Yes.

For the first time in ages, Seihai had volunteered to assist with the cleaning!!

'Well, it was either to help with clean-up or join the servants for a session of group counselling with Kiara...' The mere idea of pouring their heart out to their fellow allies made a cold shiver run down Seihai's spine.

No way in hell did they want to let others know about their inner demons; especially not when he was also attending today's session. To Seihai, that was akin to a recipe for disaster.

And in addition to that, Kiara was eerily perceptive as a counsellor. It'd be IMPOSSIBLE to hide anything from her. Seihai had seen how even Gudako's cheery outer self faltered before Kiara's intelligent wiles.

'It's much more relaxing to clean the place instead.' Resting their vibrant red cornrows onto one of the latest prototype model of the Chaldea Speedmop 2000 (nightingale had an entire stock of them in order to keep chaldea as clean as possible), they sighed.

Life had been a real struggle as of late for Seihai. Lacerating wounds. Ferocious beasts. Storylines bursting at the seams with treachery and Machiavellianism. In other words, the missions were hell. It was tough- unbearable even- to carry on, to keep on pushing forward like Gudako, Mash, the Staff and Servants were; but deep down, Seihai knew that they had no choice but to follow ahead.

However, it grew. A festering, deep pool of regret; self-abasement and shame. Was it really alright for Seihai to be here? Weren't they just a nuisance? Were they even worthy? Did anybody at Chaldea even care about them, anyway? Who could they open up around?

As a horrendous deluge of negative self-talk smashed into Seihai with all the force of a tidal wave; encasing them within a moment of anxiety so painful that they felt as if they were about to drown- a miracle occurred.

'TAP TAP!!!!' Tapping them ferociously on the shoulder, Seihai leapt out of their very skin to face such an intrusive force. "H-HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK- oh, Gudako."

"What do you mean by 'oh Gudako'?!! It's none other than me, Gudako; your beloved homie and most trusted ally!! I was looking for you. Kiara was disappointed that you couldn't make it to counselling today. Told me that she's happy to meet you one-on-one, if you got some extra time." Gudako all but winked, as her golden eyes glimmered mischievously.

'You little shit,' Seihai couldn't help but laugh at that. "Alright, I'll visit her tomorrow. How was the group therapy?"

"Oh, it was awesome! We all had a good laugh, shared our stories and gave each other some support." Gudako was more or less beaming with joy. "It's so nice here, in Chaldea. Everyone's so supportive of one another. There's no shame here, Seihai. I hope you know that."

"Haha, of course I do!" An itchy, aching laugh that was even faker than the fakest of plastics erupted from Seihai's throat. Well fuck, looks like their skills at faking had subsided greatly as of late.

'Oh shit...she's onto me..' Seihai recognized that expression clearly. Gudako's eyes were wide, almost brimming with tears, as her eyebrows arched incredulously.

That only meant one thing- she was finally onto Seihai's bullshit.

"Hey, Seihai. If something's up, tell me! You always listen to me ramble on and on about all of my feelings too. Let it out!" Gudako gives Seihai a friendly shake of the shoulders. "AH!!!!"

"Oh lord, Gudako. What's happened now?" Seihai guffawed softly at Gudako's vibrant pose. "You got a new idea? C'mon let it out!"

"Oi, you're the one who needs to let things out more!!! I am doing perfectly fine, thank you. Well anyway. Seihai?"

"Come with us. Join us on our sleepover tonight. Let's chat, just like old times. You, Mash and I. How does that sound?" Gudako's expression was apprehensive, linking her palms together. "I want to help. If that's okay with you..."

'SHIT, I'M WEAK TO SLEEPOVERS!!! DAMNIT!!' There was something so precious, so special about being privy to the personal thoughts and opinions of others; that Seihai was infinitely weak towards. And a sleepover with Mash and Gudako? Lucky!

Seihai instantly looped their ebony hands with Gudako's scarred palms. "Look, I'm going. You better bring some popcorn and snacks, or I'll drain your room of food, Gudako!" Seihai's joke brought a smile to Gudako's face immediately.

"Hell yeah! I'll see you at 10. You better not flake on me!"

Gudako was most certainly one of the most beloved homies around.

SLEEPOVER TIME!!! (yeet)

Decked in the most casual pyjamas and a pale gray dressing gown, Seihai trooped into Gudako's room with all the force of a warrior. It was time to commence battle!

'ONWARDS I GO!!! YOU'VE GOT THIS ME!!!' Seihai slammed into the door as bravely as they possibly could. 'YEAH BOI! I AM NOT NERVOUS, I AM WORTHY AND AWESOME! I am valid, I've got this!' With an entire array of self-affirmations tucked under their sleeves, they boldly seized their targets.

"Yahoo, beautiful ladies. It's me." Seihai posed languidly, as an excited Mash and ridiculously energetic Gudako ran up to her. "Wow, this is my first time here...nice room you've got, Gudako."

Gudako's room was filled with an array of posters, dvds, cds and technological gear; however neon lights also paraded the walls, giving it a very 'cyber beach party' feel.

"Oh damn, the finest one of them all has arrived." Gudako smirked, swaying from side to side. "I'm glad you came."

"Me too...Senpai was yammering on and on about how she wants you to join in with us more often," Mashu beamed softly, tucking her hands politely behind her back. "Thank you for making it here. Truly. I am very grateful for this."

At this, Seihai's eyes widened with shock. They were so used to being alone; and dealing with everything on their lonesome. So to see these two seem so joyful by their mere arrival came as a deep surprise to Seihai. 'Y-yo...I can't handle this...Shit.' It was time to clam up.

Awkwardly ruffling ruby red locks of hair, Seihai turned to the side. "Don't worry about it, I think you two are great people. So...what have you both got planned for today?"

"Well, senpai and I usually tend to enjoy a good romance movie..." Mash began.

"...And imagine ourselves in their situation as well." Gudako's grin was enormous, as Mash's cheeks flushed ever so slightly. "It's so much fun when we do that. Mash and I have very interesting viewpoints on romance. Hehe." Gudako's expression was wistful and warm, her eyes filled with affection.

'Damn, they've got it bad for one another...' Seihai blankly mused. 'Are they just close friends? Are they in love? Hell if I know,' They wondered.

"B-but, as you're here, we wanted to make things much more simulating for you as well. So we decided to choose a legendary movie..."

"... that's named SHREK." Gudako's face was extremely serious. "The movie that fucking destroys all other movies, because it is just that darn good. What do you say? Want some SHREK TIME??"

"Of course, Shrek is love AND life, after all." Grabbing a huge bowl of popcorn, Seihai sits to the right of Mash and Gudako. "How may times have you watched it?"

"I've genuinely lost count..." Gudako sighed. "How about you, Mash?"

"Only twice...I don't really understand the jokes and references made..." Mash hung her head dejectedly. "Sometimes I wonder if these movies are wasted on me."

"That's not true at all, Mash. I have all the time in the world to explain them to you. You won't be left out, alright?" Ruffling Mash's hair softly, Gudako smiled blissfully.

"Senpai...Thank you. In return, I shall explain all sorts of magecraft theories to you so that you can rise above all of the clock tower mages. I'll be cheering you on!"

"Aah, Mash; what have I done to deserve someone as good as you? C'mere." They were now snuggling closely together.

"Yep, Mash! You heard Gudako. This movie isn't wasted on you at all! All knowledge has to start from somewhere. You may be lost now, but you'll eventually possess enough referential knowledge to enjoy this soon. Be nicer to yourself, okay?" Ah, there it was. Seihai couldn't help but throw out some positive vibes. Worried that they had gone too far, they cringed- only to be met with wide smiles.

"You're so right, Seihai!" Gudako was now caressing Mash's hair. "Hehe, you always give such wise advice."

"Seihai, you're so kind...Thanks." Mash grinned.

"Ah, no problemo! Just didn't want to see you hurt yourself."

As Seihai quietly watched over the two's warm cuddling session, a slight pain twanged at their heartstrings.

In Chaldea, they had no connections as close as that. There was nobody like that for them, whose arms they could be held in; who they could bond with so closely. Nobody who they could cry with in the worst of times; nobody who they could while away the darkest phases of night with...nobody at all.

It had always been them, and them alone.

No matter how many people they connected to on a surface level; how many people they met and spoke to; who they relied upon and trusted within their lifetime- Seihai had never experienced a close bond with anyone.

For the first time in a while, the arid, bitter taste of jealousy clawed across their throat.

'Ah man, they're so cute. Kinda wish I could love and be loved like that too.' Seihai silently watched the movie besides them, as blue rays of light danced upon their face. 'Damn, now I'm mixed between feeling both happy and jealous for them. GUHHHH!!!'

Sometimes... being emotionally distant from others sucked.

But they couldn't let desperation consume them. Whenever they were desperate for friendship and love, they'd let the wrong people in, and would end up even more battered and bruised than before...

'I just gotta keep on being my own pillar of emotional support, no matter how desperate I am for some hugs.' Seihai sighed.

'If this is the price I have to pay to live honorably to my true self, than so be it.'

"So...Mash, Seihai. Let's share some secrets. Have any of you got somebody who you like? Fess up to your dear Gudako!!!"

What was once an extremely loud and rancorous viewing of Shrek (Seihai laughed throughout the entire thing, as Gudako cracked an inane amount of jokes) had now become none other than a GOSSIP SESSION.

'FUCK...' Seihai's face paled at this. Of all the topics to discuss, why did it have to be this??? Whilst Seihai's face was creased up with pure pain and terror, Mash was blushing like a cute tomato.

"W-well senpai, I...You see, I..." Gudako was leaning in so closely towards Mash that she was bordering on pinning her to the wall.

"Hmm, what? What is it, Mash?" Her voice was a husky whisper. "C'mon, tell me who..."

'Bruh. GUDAKO!!! That's not helping at all.' Seihai wanted to facepalm at their antics. 'They really are this dense to each other's feelings, huh.' It was adorable, yet somewhat amusing to watch as well.

"A-AH! I GIVE, I GIVE!!" Pushing Gudako to the side, Mash panted in agony. "S-SEIHAI! WHO DO YOU LIKE??"

"OI, DON'T THROW ME UNDER THE BUS LIKE THAT! WHAT THE HELL!!!" Seihai couldn't help but yell, as a dastardly cold wind dashed through their spinal cord. "Fuck, well okay, there is somebody I like, but..."

"Spear."

'Shit...' Seihai's eyes were as large as saucers, as they spun in Gudako's direction; her smirk pernicious.

Did Gudako KNOW?!

"Looks like Seihai's in a spear of trouble." Gudako winked proudly at them. "Mash, save Seihai the embarrassment. We all know who they like already!"

"T-that's true..." Mash had finally calmed down, much to Seihai's own chagrin. "Yes, we do know."

"How? I mean, should I be worried by this??? How many of you know??" Seihai's arms pooled with cold sweat. "Damn you!"

"More or less the entirety of Chaldea?" Gudako admitted, chowing nonchalantly on a massive pocky stick. "You're not very good at hiding your emotions, you know. Seihai, we in Chaldea understand you much more than you may realize. You can open up a little more, you know?"

Overwhelmed by this, Seihai snaps for the very first time- their hazel eyes burning with repressed rage. "How can you say that, damnit?! How can you understand me, when I mainly hang out alone; when I can barely connect with anybody in Chaldea; when I don't even fucking belong in this damned place??? How can you say that, when I have a fucking useless one sided affection that I've been trying to hide, but everybody now knows of??? How can you say that Gudako??? You don't know shit about me, nor my feelings!!"

At this outburst, both Gudako and Mash's faces soured. Roughly gripping Seihai with her war-torn hands, Gudako shakes them by the shoulders, her golden eyes burning with passion.

"You don't think I see it, Seihai? How you fucking pour out all of your feelings by accident, only to withdraw back into yourself again? How you look longingly over at Mash and I, craving a bond of your own? How you reluctantly look over towards staff and servants, aching to talk to them but not knowing what to do? You don't think I see you crying, see your eyes fill with affection for a certain someone every now and then; that I don't pay attention to your feelings?!! I CARE FOR YOU, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!! WE'RE FRIENDS, AREN'T WE?!!!"

"S-senpai, stop! Seihai, I'm so sorry, Gudako just gets a bit...well, passionate sometimes." Mash manages to successfully pull Gudako back. "Err, Seihai?"

Tears. A flowing river of tears dropped from Seihai's eyes as they sobbed quietly into their palms.

Gudako cared?

Somebody actually did acknowledge their emotions, and actually looked out for them?

'What, what...It can't be...But I thought that only I could care for myself and understand my emotions that well...How could she?' Before Seihai could even look up, Gudako had wrapped them within a fierce hug.

"Seihai. Look, I don't know what's happened in your past, or what's convinced you to be your sole caretaker and self-support system without letting anybody else in." Gudako ruffles their hair. "But I want you to know, that you're NOT alone. Yeah, maybe you've not found your close homies yet. But Mash and I are happy to hear you out, we all are!! Even the person you like sees you as a friend, hehe. You don't have to worry about hiding yourself behind a mask of peerless positivity and self confidence anymore."

"Gudako..."

"You know, you were there for me when I was crying about having to be strong. And you know, I struggled to open up as well. But yeah, Mash...well she came along, and now I feel so much better! Look, I just want you to not beat yourself up for this. It's okay."

"Gudako, you're gonna make me cry. Damn, you're really hitting me in the feels today. I got a real case of the 'crying in the club at 3am vibes' right now."

"Oi, no making shitty jokes to cope. Here, we show our vulnerability like real warriors!" Gudako declared triumphantly, as Mash laughs.

"Gudako, I swear...you really are a wonderful homie. I'm sorry that I tried to hide away from you...I am so grateful that you care enough to seek me out like this. Thank you."

"H-HOLY SHIT, WE CRACKED OPEN THE COLD ONE. MASH TAKE A PHOTO!"

"Senpai, please stop the joking."

"S-sorry..."

"I'm glad," Mash also sat by Seihai's side. "I just want all of us to be happy. And Seihai, I am sure there are many wonderful beings out there that you may eventually grow close to! You already believe in yourself, which is a great start! I know you won't have to be so lonely anymore!" Lacing her palms together, Mash spoke a prayer. "I wish that someday, you will meet people too. And that you'll stop fighting alone."

"Mash, you're gonna make me explode with tears. You're being so nice right now that I'm going to cry." Seihai blushed.

"You heard her, Mash! Why are you so damn cute, I'm falling in love!!" Gudako was clutching her heart dramatically. "Ahhh....Mash is such a beauty!!! Thank you, for blessing me with such a wonderful person!"

"S-SENPAI!!! STOP!!!" As the two began to pillow fight, laughing all the while; Seihai smiled softly at them both.

'So I'm not fighting alone after all...I'm not the only person who values myself in this world anymore...' Seihai could finally put down the weapons that they had grown so used to aggressively defending themselves with.

From now on, they'd do their best to trust in Chaldea more. And maybe attend group therapy from now on, as well.

'So this is how it feels to open up to people.'

It was an unforgettable sensation.

THE END

holy smokes this is so fucking LONG

[boomstyle]

Sonic Boom: Friend or Foe

Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters and settings of Sonic boom. Oh, watch out for OCs!

Roboken War

(Force field cage)

Well, that was just as quick as it's. Now, where are we?

Tails and I reach the cage in just a zip. I thought Lyric will just put mind control device or at least send them far away from our reach. Well, I guess Lyric may not be as smart and cunning as I thought after all.

Speaking of cunning and smart, I can't stand a breathe anymore. I wish we can get out of here. Wait! We can't. Lyric closed the entrance of the central power station with a force field. I guess he's smart and cunning after all. Ugh...

While I was desperate to get out of the room, Tails was busy tinkering on the force field cage. Hurry up Tails, the gas is getting stronger. Now, I feel nauseous.

"Tails, would you mind speed it up a little?", I asked Tails politely.

"Sorry, Sonic. This may take a while. I can't find the key just yet. It must be somewhere up here.", Tails explain the technical thing but I am not sure what. What I really know is that I am gonna vomit for real.

(45 minutes later)

Ugh... What's taking Tails so long?

"Aha... I found it. The key to the force field was at the upper edge. Just gonna rotate it to the right and here it goes.", Tails was busy tinkering.

"Once I open the secret key, it will be easier to disable the force field."

"Yeah, Tails. Just pretend I don't hear it!", I replied in a cool manner. Not exactly a cool manner though, I was being slightly rude. If Amy heard me saying this, she might just taichi me or whip me or worse hit me with her so-called "legendary hammer". What's so legendary about her hammer? It's just a regular oversized hammer.  Sometimes, I don't understand why she's super obsessive about her hammer. If she loses her hammer, she could have just fought in hand to hand or use her enerbeam whip or sword. I mean, she's athletic and has amazing martial art skills to top it off so she didn't really have to bother the whole team to search for her hammer or be like "My hammer is my whole identity. It's a gift from fate.". Tsk...whatever.

Yep, Archie Sonic Boom Issue 3 (HammerSpace). You got it. No need to beat the bush like that, Amy. I feel really bad for Sonic.

I was drowning in confusion until Tails snapped me out. He didn't exactly snap me out, more like bringing me to reality.

"Done it! I've taken out the force field from here.", Tails said in excitement. Team Cyborg is released from the cage. Now, time to open the forcefield!

"Oh, finally! Now, how do we open the forcefield barrier, Cyborg me?", I asked in desperation and relief at the same time.

"Right here!", Cyborg Sonic replied. What? The forcefield entrance key was literally close to us but I see nothing.

"Where? It's just a freaking wall?", I scolded him out of impatience. Ugh, I can't take it anymore. The gas...(cough)...

"Just do as I said!", Cyborg Sonic instructed.

"Fine! Just gonna touch this...(surprised) wall (slowly)", I am stunned. I can't believe it. They're right. Just gonna press the bottom and it's done.

"Yay, we did it! Teamwork rocks! Now, let's move it!"

Just as I thought our business is done from the moment we escape from the central power station filled with gas and traps. I was hell wrong. I heard an invisible siren tone with a beaming red background while we ran away. Talking about disco light, this is worse.

*Lol* (Remember when Dave fool himself in "Next Top Villian", Sonic Boom Series Season 1.)

(Siren Alarm Beam Tone)

"Ugh... Come one! We just escape from it.", I complained.

"Sonic, our escape caused the siren to beam. So this is expected.", Tails calmed me down.

"But we just get out like a few hours ago.", I argued. Technically, it's been 45 minutes but it feels like hours already.

"Are you guys done with your blabber, Sonic?", Cyborg Amy shouted. Ooo... She's just as scary and temperamental as Amy.

"Fine! I'll shut it."

"Good. Let's keep moving! We didn't have all day."

Okay, okay, Amy! Is it necessary for you to be so demanding? Just chill out, Cyborg Amy! Regardless, she's right. There's no time to waste. If we don't get out, we might as well got caught by Lyric. Yep, we did.

"Where are you going right now?", Lyric asked.

"You think you can escape from me, Sonic. Think again!"

"Rise my armies! I command you to finish them once and for all!"

"We can call your robot quit in just a zip, Snake-head.", I deride Lyric confidently.

The infected robots shoot lasers at us as instructed. Tails and I started off dodging their attacks while Team Cybonic launched their special attacks. Well, more like duplicates of our attacks. Hehe...

Just as the battle started, my gangs came to my aid. Oh, just in time but where's Shawn? I mean, the East bender faker. Yeah, he must be planning this whole thing. I bet but regardless, I am glad that my team to the rescue. As I dodge a laser, I spot FriendBot along with Amy, Knuckles and Sticks arrive at the scene and prepare for combat.

"Anyone need some backup?", Amy asked.

Amy, Knuckles, and Sticks charge down and destroy some robots. Sonic dashes towards Amy.

"Amy. I'm glad you're here.", I started a conversation but Amy just shrugged me off. I wonder what's bugging her. Surely, Shawn must have manipulated her. Now, that she ignored me as if I didn't exist. This is just not like her.

"Oh, so you're just gonna ignore me, your boyfriend. Alright, sure. Go ahead."

Oops, did I just said b-word out loud? Not that I care or whatever but we're totally busted right now.

"Hmph... Like I even have one...", Amy shrugged me off.

Oh, is that it? You're just going to going to act negatively out of character toward me. That's it, I had it enough of your rudeness. This is just not you. He's literally turning you into a cold-headed girl. I know she can get temperamental, snarky, rude, or slightly selfish at some point but this is way too far.

"That's it, Ames. I had it enough. If you want to break up, just say so. (punch and kick robot nearby) No need to buzz over me like that.", I confronted her.

"You're saying I got too far. Well, that describes you, Mr. Hedgehog. The way you treated Shawn was totally unacceptable. And besides, you're not so good after all. You're snarky, reckless, messy worker, impatient and impulsive.", Amy talked back.

"Like you have the best personality, I'm sick of your bossy, demanding, and overbearing attitude behind your mature act.", I argued her back.

"I was doing it for your good. You could get a little bit too far with your prank games, jokes or worse run head log in trouble. So I have to step in AS THE MOTHER FIGURE OF THE GROUP(shouted and smash the robot)", Amy defended.

"Yeah, like I need one.", I grunted.

"That's the problem with you. You act as if you're the coolest top speedy hedgehog ever but you're not thoughtful. The way you badmouth and suspect Shawn when you yourself were the one who introduced it to the whole team explains it. You're saying you're responsible for him but what I got is empty promises.", Amy berated me while she was busy beating robots near her just like I did. Speaking of which, what she said reminds me when I introduced Egg man's so called brother without even consulting the whole team. She's kinda right at this. I should have been more considerate and premediated next time. The way I just invite Shawn and Steve Eggman in the group without much consideration indicate my impulsiveness. Looks like I really realized how impulsive and unthoughtful I have been but still, she's literally overreacting just like usual. Thus, why should I be blamed for it?

"Oh come on, why do I get blamed for it? You're literally falling your heels over him anyway so why should I have to get the portion of the blame?", I threw the blame on her. I admitted I am being impulsive and inconsiderate considering how I just invite Shawn in without any consultation.

"Responsibility, Sonic! You can't just introduce someone and suddenly come up with a conclusion that his guy is bad when YOU CAN'T EVEN PROVE IT!", Amy reasoned with me. In some way, she's right but she just didn't understand the issue here. Shawn is...

"Yeah, you're right. I don't have proof but that doesn't mean I'm wrong. You know why? HERO!", I am enraged and boastful, yes and I don't care.

"That's it! I can't take it anymore. You, sir, are impetuously boastful and arrogant being. Have you even take my feeling into account when you said that? it's like you don't consider me a girlfriend anymore. You know what, let's break up!", Amy leashed out on me.

"You wanna break up. FINE! Who wants to be with a Bloodthirsty and indicative hedgehog in a cute and friendly package?", I said.

"And who wants an egomaniac, reckless and immature guy in a speedy hero PACKAGE?", Amy retaliated. She's going super angry and yep, this is good and bad at the same time.

"HAYAK(smash)... (spin hammer attack other robots)... (pull the further robot near her with enerbeam rope) HAYAK (smash, smash, smash until every infected robot disintegrated)... (stand in her ninja-style pose)Ha... Time to take on, Lyric."

Just as we broke up, Amy turned into a temperamental monster. Then, she started to crash all of the infected robots in just a zip. Sticks, Knuckles and Tails as well as our cyborg duplicates are unimpressed. Wow, I was surprised they're not shocked at our break up and Amy's sudden temperamental combat.

"What a lovely couple indeed? I suspect that the alien overlord must have spelled them apart.", Sticks said.

"To be frank, this robot apocalypse has sent Amy mad too.", Cyborg Sticks said. Well, she's partially right. The robot apocalypse really sent Amy crazy after the break-up. Not the best answer you've got, Cybonic Sticks but you sure have Sticks' paranoid DNA with you. Am I okay? Why do I agree with Sticks' paranoid statement now? Oh no, if this happens again, I might need to consider seeing a psychiatrist.

"I don't know Sticks but surely, the secretive skinny couple has finally come to a devastating breakup. If Sonic and Amy were the one, I may be gigging out in shame.", Cyborg Knuckles replied sadly.  

"Yeah. Not cool, Sonic. First, you deny that you dated Amy and now, you just let Amy cut off the relationship.", Knuckles said while holding his clenched fist.

"Well, this gets little it out of hand. let's just help Amy fight off Lyric!", Cyborg Sonic said.

"Yeah", Team Cybonic and my gangs except Knuckles and Amy agreed.

While they're battling Lyric, we're in the middle of a pointless argument because of Knuckles. This is the first time we ever battle each other in the middle of a war.

"Knuckles, don't get me started!", I ordered. What the heck is wrong with Knuckles? Sure we kept the relationship in secret and just broke up but this is not an excuse for Knuckles to just burst up like that.

"Do you think I'm not smart, Sonic?", Knuckles asked.

"What? Not, it's not that... It's just", I tried to persuade him but Knuckles cut me off.

"It's just that I'm not smart enough to figure it out that you're dating.", Knuckles straightened his point. What? I don't mean to hide our relationship just to shame you. It's just that it's not a good time yet. If Eggman and other villains know about our relationship, the worst scenario is that the whole team and anyone related to us would be in a threatening situation. Seriously, Eggman may not be you know the victorious one but he's surely dangerous when unexpected. And besides, the group will be awkward if everyone knows we date.

"What's up, Sonic? Scared of me?"

"Knuckles. this is madness. You got to snap out, man. That snakehead was literally your battle.", I persuaded while trying to dodge his punches. I don't want to attack him. He's my friend.

"I've heard you said enough already"

We battle with each other until we heard Amy, Tails, and Sticks as well as our duplicates got smacked down in the middle of battle.

"Guys! Oh no!", Knuckles and I gulped.

"At last, I finally got to end you after a thousand years.", Lyric smirked while approaching us.

"I guess it's the end of Team Knuckles", Knuckles said. Team? Oh, forget it! I'm not going to argue. Besides he's right. It's the end of Team Son...ic.

"Lyric, I said I will find you", Shadow appeared. Uuu... Looks like the edgelord will end the robot apocalypse. He must have a reason as to defeat Lyric. He will not just be here to save us but anyway, it's our lucky day.

Shadow punch out Lyric and take out his technopathy. As the result, everything was back to normal except that all Roboken's army got dismantled, and yeah, things get messed up when Shawn approached in.

ugh... Finally, it's nearly the end of the book chapter. Sorry, I got too personal with the Sonamy relationship and rivalry between Knuckles and Sonic but I just can't help it. Anyway, How do you think Shadow and Shawn were able to come in? What will be the consequences afterward? Find out in the next chapter.

[mst3kproject]

The Devil Bat

Two #fuck this movie entries in a row? Yikes.  Time for something fun.  Here we have Bela Lugosi and a fake bat on a string, in a movie brought to us by the Producers Releasing Corporation, who also gave us the classic I Accuse my Parents.  It’s a bad movie masterpiece all on its own, and Joel and the bots could only have made it better.

As the opening card informs us, Paul Carruthers is the kindly local doctor in the village of Heathville… kinda like how Harold Shipton was the kindly local doctor in Hyde.  In between tending to his patients, Dr. Carruthers has been carrying on twisted experiments in his secret laboratory.  Electrical stimulation has allowed his pet bats to grow to the size of geese, which is certainly impressive but doesn’t seem very useful until the doctor’s business partner Mr. Heath inadvertently insults him.  Seeking revenge, Carruthers trains the bats to attack anything with a particular scent, and then sends that scent to his enemies in the form of a shaving lotion!  Can ace reporter Johnny Layton find the truth about the ‘Devil Bat’ before the entire Heath family is destroyed?

This movie was like a nice sorbet after the two course rotisserie turd that was Curse of Bigfoot and Sorority Girl.  It has everything I want out of a lousy old horror movie: bad actors, a ridiculous plot, and hilariously shoddy effects, all dished out so earnestly that you can’t help but love the result.

It’s a fairly guilt-free pleasure, too, because I’m pretty sure no bats were harmed in the making of this movie.  There’s a couple of close-up shots of a live flying fox, but almost all the bats we see are silly stiff props that don’t even deserve to be dignified with the label puppet.  Dr. Carruthers carries these around dangling from coat hangers.  In order to make them grow he just hooks them up to a battery with alligator clips, then puts some goggles on and watches.  We see the stupid fake bat getting electrocuted, then cut to Carruthers watching, then cut back to a slightly larger fake bat getting electrocuted.

When the bat attacks, it dangles from a string (shaken slightly to make it ‘flap’) and swoops down to sink its fangs into people’s necks!  This prop does double-duty, since it also appears to serve as the fake bat the reporters rig up to get pictures of.  It’s the sort of monster you see Maciste fight half a dozen of when he visits the underworld.  The movie’s best bat moment, however, is the cardboard cutout that passes by to cast its shadow over the lurid newspaper headlines.  I can’t even describe how hilarious this is.

Bela Lugosi is in excellent mad scientist form, grinning and gloating and giving his all in a movie that really doesn’t deserve it. Everybody else is very bland, both the actors and their characters, but it doesn’t matter because they’re frankly not important.  The audience is here to watch this stupid fake bat kill people at Bela’s orders, and the other characters don’t need to do anything but scream really loud as they die. The film-makers know this, too, because they devote the bare minimum of time to things other than Bela and the bat.  The story speeds through all the plot stuff as efficiently as it can, so it’ll have time to linger on the mad science, crazed monologues, and stupid effects we came here for.

In some movies this might make Layton into a Hero Who Doesn’t Do Anything, but surprisingly, The Devil Bat avoids that pitfall.  Layton and McGuire aren’t exactly likable heroes and their supposedly humourous antics are never funny, but they continue to actively pursue the mystery even after they’ve technically lost their jobs over their pictures of a faker bat, apparently out of active concern for the people the bat is menacing.  Layton follows the clues back to Carruthers in a reasonably sensible fashion, and even has the presence of mind to react to the devil bats by shooting at them rather than standing around yelling!  His motivations for this are slightly selfish, in that he wants his job back and is in love with Mary Heath (what she sees in him is a mystery), but he definitely doesn’t just blunder through it like the reporter from The Mad Monster.

At the end, Carruthers is destroyed by his own creation when the Devil Bat turns on its master, as is inevitable for any mad scientist movie.  Even this doesn’t leave Layton out of the action, though – Layton came to Carruthers with his theory that the bats are attracted to the aftershave, and puts it on himself in order to lure them… then splashes some on Carruthers, too.  In the finale, then, they are both in equal danger. Layton is an active character rather than a reactive one, which seems to be something very difficult to do in movies like this that tend to focus on the villain.  So props for that.

There’s also some good fun to be enjoyed in Carruthers’ behaviour throughout the movie.  The impression we get of Mr. Heath and his friend Mr. Morton is that they’re grateful for Carruthers’ help and would happily give him more money if he asked for it.  It just never occurs to him to ask for it – he’d rather go straight into mad science revenge mode.  When you note that he started creating giant bats well before his beef with Mr. Heath, it seems like Carruthers has just been waiting for an excuse to send his pets off to kill people.  There’s also the fact that he’s very careful not to get any of his lotion on himself, to the point of throwing away a jacket that has become contaminated with the stuff… but on more than one occasion he shakes hands with somebody who’s just been applying it and then doesn’t wash afterwards.  He ought to have bats gnawing on his fingertips.

I was a bit surprised to realize that this is only the second bat-centric movie I’ve watched for this blog.  The other was, of course, It Lives by Night.  I was annoyed by the way It Lives by Night presented bats as bloodthirsty little monsters, but for some reason I didn’t have the same problem with The Devil Bat.  I gave that some thought, and decided there were two reasons for it.  The first is just that The Devil Bat spends less time tormenting actual bats.  The Devil Bat itself is very clearly fake, and while a fruit bat of some sort does appear in a couple of close-up shots, it doesn’t look like it’s having nearly such a bad day as the bats from It Lives by Night.

The second, more important reason, is that The Devil Bat gives us some kind of justification for the bat’s behaviour. Carruthers created this animal specifically to be the instrument of his revenge.  It attacks because it’s been taught to hate the scent of the shaving lotion. It Lives by Night does nothing similar, and seems to want to suggest that bats are just naturally murderous.  That’s bad press that these already much-maligned creatures don’t need.

(Bats’ ability to carry nine hundred horrible diseases and not get sick is, by the way, yet another of their amazing superpowers. SciShow on YouTube recently did a video on this if you’re curious.)

Of course The Devil Bat does have its annoyances.  Layton and McGuire are meant to be comic relief as well as heroes, and they’re about as funny as most comic relief reporters in terrible old movies.  They never quite descend to the level of Watney or Dropo but they don’t reach any heights, either.  Each of them also gets a very perfunctory love story that contributes nothing to the plot, with Layton falling in love with Mary Heath and McGuire with her French maid (yes, a literal French maid) Maxine.  So little time is devoted to these subplots that one wonders why the film-makers bothered including them.  The only reason I can think of is that even with them the movie’s only sixty-eight minutes long.

I probably could say something about The Devil Bat’s gender politics if I wanted.  The Heath family has made their fortune in cosmetics and yet there’s a bit where the newspaper editor seems to ridicule women for ‘all that goo they put on their faces’.  I’m honestly not sure it’s worth the effort, though.  I mean, it’s a movie about a giant bat on a string killing people because it doesn’t like their cologne.

Likewise, there may be some sort of commentary happening in the subplot about the reporters losing their jobs.  They really want to get the real story but they also really need to have something to show their bosses in the meantime, and it’s the latter that drives them to stunts like their even faker bat-on-a-string.  Or maybe something could be made of the thing with Mr. Heath underpaying Dr. Carruthers.  The cheque he sends him is for five thousand dollars, which was, as Joel and the Bots enjoyed saying, a lot of money back now.  The movie seems to feel that Mr. Heath was more than generous… but again, is it really worth taking The Devil Bat that seriously?

That’s as good a sum-up as any of The Devil Bat, really… it’s not meant to be thought about and I, for one, am not going to waste my time doing so.  Not when I can revel in the sight of that stiff fake bat on a string being swung into victims’ necks.  All the film-makers wanted was for us to watch and smile for an hour or so, and that’s exactly what you will do if you look The Devil Bat up on YouTube, where it is freely available in the public domain.  Enjoy!

[astarion]

I have gone through chapter 15 in Dragalia Lost and the metaphorical hammer has finally dropped! (Chapter 15 spoilers ahead):

First, a little correction from my previous post. I realized I had mixed up Ciella with Cibella. Ciella’s the water Agito, a church heretic who wants to kill all bonds, while Cibella’s a starting adventurer character, a church priestess who wants to avenge the children of an orphanage she ran that got destroyed by fiends. Two drastically different characters, but only 1 letter of difference between the names... kinda surprised that I can’t think of any others in this game this applies to yet. But now, on to the main impressions and thoughts on the chapter, with spoilers!

It feels like it’s been teased for so long now but it finally happened, Euden finally learns the secret that he has been a fake royal the entire time. And, as I had been thinking would be the case, the only one who really takes it hard is Euden himself.

Still, even when he fell into despair, he didn’t just immediately give up like other characters probably would have. Instead, he fell back onto the one constant in his life: Zethia, and doubled down. It’s been shown, to a worrying degree now, that he’d give up everything for her, and in this case he’s reduced to blind rage and desperation in the face of Nedrick’s power.

And when brute force fails him, he even lashes out at at his friends for retreating and leaving Zethia behind when there’s no other choice. And Euden doesn’t swear much, so even how he says a simple hell to Notte feels like a big deal, coming from him.

Still, he’s able to be talked down soon enough, realizes what a jerk he’s being, and with a good pep talk, while he is certainly not okay (and does let his team know this thankfully,) he is able to put himself together enough to start taking that next step with his friends at his side, ending the chapter on at least a semi-positive note. The next chapter seems to be promising a meetup with Leonidas so we may find out what it was Aurelius wanted him to know and get that next piece of the puzzle soon. And again, this likely is new information that we don’t already know. I think we’ve gone as far as we can with the documents that have been plaguing us for so many interludes now.

And speaking of which... that Nedrick is one slick, slippery serpent for getting away with that tome/seal trick. I’m not doubting the seal’s authenticity and that he got it to glow, but I am saying this doesn’t prove anything about his lineage. Why? Because he dodged the most important question about the 7th scion that only the real one could answer: How is he still alive?

Instead of addressing Cleo’s critical point, Nedrick uses the activation of the seal as his proof. Making the association fallacy of, “Since the seal reacts for me and not your precious Prince, who else could I be but the 7th scion?”

Nedrick certainly talks big throwing around the term “incontrovertible proof”, but he’s talking just like an Ace Attorney culprit whose claims are built upon a throne of lies. And my thoughts in how he’s getting away with it involve exactly how the seal is activated: royal blood!

This could mean that he is royalty, as he claims, but what if any royal blood just has to be present on whoever holds the book? What if just having some royal blood smeared on the holder’s hands, or drinking it like some kind of vampire, is enough to trick the seal into working, like getting around a biometric lock? If so, Nedrick could’ve gotten all the blood he needed to pull this off while he was beating down Valyx earlier at the start of this chapter. Nedrick certainly seemed assured that the seal would’ve worked for Valyx even in his injured state when he mocked Euden after it didn’t work for him. I’m thinking that’s exactly how he pulled it off, just to make a statement and to crush Euden’s spirit.

Though in the end, even if I’m holding fast to my own theory on Nedrick, just as it doesn’t truly matter in the grand scheme of things that Euden isn’t royalty (he can still make dragonpacts and shapeshift and his friends have his back no matter what,) it also doesn’t matter if Nedrick is a faker or not. Now that he’s stolen Zethia, shaken Euden’s faith, and turned his attention to outside the country, he doesn’t need to uphold the ruse any further as he’s gotten all he needs from Alberia. I suppose the Agito could react horribly if they learn their leader’s a liar, but given their insane worldviews and that he is the source of their powers they probably wouldn’t care either if it meant they could still wreak all the havoc they desire.

Regardless, we also finally have a glimpse of Nedrick’s plan. It involves Zethia, and one of the Shards holding the evils of the world at bay. And while Nedrick did mention how there are other factions scheming right now including the Phares/Beren duo and the Illian Church, it’s sounding like he’s picking right back up where Morsayati left off if he’s messing with a holy shard. Oddly enough, he didn’t mention Harle in that list of schemers, which means to me that either Harle’s helping him out a bit (which would explain how the Agito knew where to find the tome, since Harle had originally taken it from the palace in the first place, and might’ve even handed it to the church to jumpstart their supposed schemes too), or he’s gone unnoticed/is considered irrelevant. Either way, it means to me that the likelihood that Harle is continuing to play everyone for saps as he steadily creeps closer toward his own ambitions is getting higher and higher with every update.

I’m looking forward to seeing how the game will continue to grow. The plot really could go anywhere from a point like this, and not just in the main story. Even if they don’t cross into the main plot, each new adventurer and event have tons of things going on with all the variety in their individual stories, as well as the longer overarching ones like the political intrigues of the Hinomoto clans, the Qilin relics, the Eldritch Horror gang (Heinwald, Curran, Lathna, et al.), the nefarious Syndicate, possibly reformed fiends eventually (like Mei Hou Wang and Barbary), the collab events... the possibilities feel endless! With the second anniversary coming up at the end of September I’m sure they’ve got some big plans brewing. And given how last year’s anniversary event turned out, I can’t wait to see what comes next!

[bnhascribbles]

Love at First Sight

Shinso x Reader

Coffee Shop AU, Fluff, First Meetings; For the lovely kazooli‘s competition.  It’s based on their “Love at First Sight” scenario!  Now, I may be a dumb-dumb and be late, but either way, I’m posting this because WHY NOT. 

Words: 1.5K

Warnings: None

Shinso isn’t an idealistic sort of person.  He knows he doesn’t love you–won’t entertain the thought–even when time seems to stop the second you walk through that door.  “Love” wasn’t something that just happened.  Not in a minute, not at a glance, and certainly not with a complete stranger.

Even so, he’s utterly fascinated by you, unable to pry his eyes away as you settle into a booth in the corner.

It hadn’t been your smile that’d done it, soft and just-barely-there as you stretched the edge of your hoodie over the bottom of your face, like the gesture was a secret meant for you alone.  It hadn’t been the way you’d clumsily tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and exposed silver studs, twisted in the wrong direction, but unmistakably cat-shaped.  It hadn’t even been the way the steady thrum of your fingers against the countertop had matched the pace of his heart exactly–the fact that when they stalled, he could feel his breathing halting, getting caught in his chest, waiting for the moment those nails would resume their concert upon the wood.

No, it’d been more than all of that.  It was just...you.  The things he could see along with something else that lingered just beneath his skin.  Something silent, but present nonetheless.  Something he couldn’t possibly put into words–couldn’t understand–but could experience.  Like gravity.  He can’t even begin to explain the reasons why it existed, how it worked the way it did.  Still, it’s tug was undeniable.

Even though Shinso knows better, some part of him still wants to believe it’s possible–that there’s a single person in the world made for him, and they’re lounging about in the coffee shop he works at.

Work.  He’s supposed to be doing that.  Right.  

Shinso forces his eyes back down to his register screen, and for a while, he manages to ignore you.  He wipes at a wet spot on the granite and pretends you aren’t just a couple feet away, convinces himself that you’ve wandered out or disappeared into thin air or, maybe, you hadn’t even been there to begin with.  Maybe he’d imagined you.  That possibility makes it much easier for him to focus.  It works right up to the moment you walk over to his counter. When that happens, he glances up for just a second and knows all hope is lost.  

“Hey.”  This is the very first time Shinso has ever heard your voice.  Still, he’s certain he’d be able to pick it out in a crowd if given the opportunity.  No other sound has ever made his skin buzz like this before.

But the fact doesn’t change: It’s still not love that he feels.  Attraction maybe, but definitely not love.

“Hey.”  Shinso chimes back, thinking for much longer than he should about how to phrase that one word.  Despite his best efforts, it sounds wrong to him.  Not smooth like yours had been.  It’s too blunt (even though it was only a one-word response).  Too nervous (not that he had any reason to be nervous).  Too–

“This is where I order right?”

He’d spaced out.  Dammit.  That wasn’t something he usually did.

“Yeah, it is.”  He’s still doing it–overthinking everything.  Shinso inhales deeply, channeling hours of customer service training videos, willing himself to forget about everything that isn’t the espresso machine or service with a smile.  “What can I get you?”

“Hm.”  You place your palms flat on the counter, leaning in to get a better look at the menu board.  Your eyes flit between the messy scrawl there and the register.  “Tell me: What does the master recommend?”

A lesser man might have choked.  Shinso just stops breathing.

“...Or is that title on your apron just for show?”

The title.  The title, for god’s sake.  Gaudy golden letters embroidered just below the pocket of his apron, proudly proclaiming “COFFEE MASTER” like it wasn’t something every employee had to wear as part of their uniform.  He makes a mental note to smother the lettering in coffee grounds the very next opportunity he’s granted.

“You can’t go wrong with a latte.”

Your lips purse and your gaze narrows playfully.  “Mm, not the most adventurous choice, is it,” your eyes drift down to his name tag,  “Shinso Hitoshi?”

Shinso usually hated when people did that–deliberately sought out and used his name while he was working–but, not surprisingly, you seem to be an exception.  He swears it sounds like you’re singing when you do it.

“Classic is classic.  ‘Adventurous’ is great until you end up with something undrinkable.”

“Oh come on.  Undrinkable?  Sure you’re not just being a coffee snob?”

Shinso raises an eyebrow.  This whole situation might have been new to him, but coffee was something he knew.  “Ever had a raw, deconstructed espresso?”

“Nope, but it sure sounds interesting.”

He scoffs.  “I thought so too at first. But trust me, chewing on espresso beans at 6 AM isn’t as fun as it sounds.”

You snort, covering your mouth to muffle some of the giggles.  When you recover enough to speak again, you do it through your fingers.  “You got your caffeine fix and a snack.  Sounds like a good time to me.”

“Yeah?”  Shinso smiles, draping an arm over the screen of his register.  “Well if that’s what you want, I’ve got some really tasty beans in the back.  I can whip one up for you real quick.  Takes less than 10 seconds to make, and let me tell you, the crunch is something else.”

 You hum for a moment, tapping your finger against the countertop.  “As enticing as your offer sounds, I think I’ve already figured out what I want.”  You don’t say anything as you reach into your bag and pull out your wallet, even though the sly look plastered across your face makes him think you have a lot of things to say.

“I’ll take a latte.”

Shinso raises an eyebrow, trying to seem incredulous, but smiling still.  “What, don’t feel like being ‘adventurous’ anymore?”

Your jaw hangs to the side, but the subtle twist of your lips betrays the playfulness behind the gesture.  As it turns out, both of you are terrible fakers.

“Oh hush.  I may not work here, but I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to sass the customers.”

It was true, of course.  Still, if it means getting another snarky response from you, seeing those bright eyes light up with every quip, he’s more than willing to break a few rules.

Shinso grabs a cup and scribbles the order number across it with a sharpie.  “Of course, because the customer is always right.”  He makes sure his words are dripping with sarcasm.

“Absolutely.  Glad you’re not too prideful to admit it”  You tease right back at him, and the confidence in the way you tilt your chin upward and beam (adorable) has him chuckling.

“Wanna tell me your name, oh valued customer?  Or am I just drawing a smiley face on the cup?”  

Shinso could have very well poured your coffee, handed you the cup, and been done with it.  He didn’t need a name to do his job, not when you were already standing right there and it was a slow day like this.  He wanted it though, wanted to hear the way you said it, watch the way your lips twisted as it formed each syllable.  More than that, he wanted to say it himself–to see if repeating it back to you would break his trance, cool the heat searing his insides.

Something mischievous flickers in your eyes.  You make a show of scratching at your chin, smirking like you hold all the power in the world at that one moment.  And you do, as far as he’s concerned.  

“I kinda wanna see you draw a smiley face on it,” you pause, shifting your weight between both feet,  “Or a heart.  Whatever scribbles you feel compelled to leave for me.”

He stands there for what feels like hours, considering his next move.  You’d been flirting with him–that wasn’t even an opinion, it was cold-hard fact.  The question was, how was he supposed to respond without making a complete fool of himself?  He could barely think, what with the buzzing in his ears, the tightness in his chest–

“How about my phone number?”  Shinso doesn’t remember thinking the words, only the feeling of them sprinting up his throat–quick and jumbled and abrupt.

You stare up at him as if to see if the question isn’t some joke–another piece of banter thrown around for the sake of earning a laugh.  Your gaze falls to Shinso’s fingers, trembling as they clutch the sharpie in his fist, and your expression suddenly softens.

“I think I’d like that.”  You inhale.  “A lot, actually.”

“Awesome.”  He mutters, almost unconsciously.  The nervousness bundled into that one word is enough to make him wish he could sink into the floor.  Still, he doesn’t do that.  Partly because it isn’t possible, and partly because he still has something he needs from you.  “Afraid I still need your name though.”  Before he can blink, your smirk is back, as playful as ever.  

“Need?  Or want?”

“Want.”  There’s no hesitation in the word, breathed out like the prayer of a dying man–one with nothing left to lose and everything to gain.

You snicker when you finally say it, and he knows he’s been right all along–that it doesn’t take a minute to fall in love.

It takes five.

[rockofeye]

Bonswa Houngan!! I had a question...how do you spot a trained, initiated priest who is trying to swindle you/take advantage of you financially through the religion? I know that this religion can have heavy costs and services just generally cost something but beyond outright fakers or scammers, how do you spot people who are licensed to do the spiritual work of this tradition, but try to take advantage of you or profit off of you? Thanks

Hi there,

This is a good question. One of the unfortunate realities is that there are priests who were made correctly who make bad choices that harm others. Additionally, there are people who believe they were made correctly who are perpetuating that fraud that was inflicted upon them. It’s a crap thing that this is the reality, but the internet has provided a platform for the spread of information and there are unethical folks who take advantage of that and the relative ignorance of folks who are seekers. It’s even worse when they don’t even realize that what they are doing is based in fraud, because that’s what they were given.

I am of the mind that if someone is out there swindling folks or perpetuating fraud, they are not a legitimate priest. It’s a betrayal of the oaths we take as part of our initiation and so when they begin cashing in on people, they lose what makes them a legit priest. You can come out of an ethical djevo and turn out to be a terrible person. Kanzo gives us tools and opportunities, but it can’t force us to be good people or ethical priests.

It can definitely be hard to tell. Because learning and information in Haitian Vodou is passed teacher to student, it can be a challenge to discern what is accurate and what might look pretty but is broken. There’s no one way to figure it out, but there can be a lot of signs and symptoms of stuff that is not so great and/or downright harmful. I’ll write about a bunch of them below, but of course nothing is exhaustive...sadly there is always more.

Here’s some big red flashing warning signs:

They say they have the only ‘real Vodou’. It often is spelled out as that they are the only ones who have ‘real Vodou’. This plays on someone’s desire for spiritual authenticity and the search for a spiritual home, and seeks to create a dynamic where they are the only source of information. After all, who would want something that’s not real? The truth is that Haitian Vodou varies throughout the country. There are definitely some things that are absolutes in the religion, but there’s a lot that depends on location, lineage, style of initiation, and other factors. Insisting that they are the ones who can pass on what Vodou really is boils down to either miseducation (they were conned themselves) or deliberate manipulation (they are being con artists.

Don’t go talk to other people. This often goes hand-in-hand with the ‘real Vodou’ thing. Folks get told that they should not (or outright cannot) talk to other vodouizan. This is often couched as that no one else can help you or that this specific group is made up of bad people or whatever. This is an isolation technique that is setting you up to be beholden to one person or one group. In any other religious tradition, this would be labeled cult-like behavior, but folks seem willing to accept that in Haitian Vodou for whatever reason. 

As a priest, it’s not my job to dissuade you from speaking to other priests or tell you that you should not seek out what Vodou looks like anywhere else. Part of the discernment process SHOULD be seeing as much Vodou as is possible before making commitments, if indeed commitments are what is being asked for by the lwa. It’s not the place of a priest to try and limit your access to the religion even if you it leads you away from them because it is not the job of a priest to limit you. If the lwa want you with someone, they will make that clear if you listen.

(More behind the cut...this got really long)

All the shit talk. Everyone in the religion has their own feelings about regleman and what other people do, and it’s not uncommon for people to instruct their ti fey/children born from ceremony in why what someone else does would not be acceptable in their house. It’s not uncommon for people to be gossipy (because we are all human). What is kinda out of hand is for folks to be outright denigrating someone to a seeker or a client. It’s poor form. We can say that we do things differently, we can say that we were taught differently or that we are not sure why someone would do xyz that way, we can even say that something was not done correctly or that you were misled without going in on some character assassination. This kind of thing is born from jealousy and insecurity, and it’s super transparent. 

Exorbitant prices. Like you identified, things cost money. Neither people nor the lwa work without being paid, and part of the sacrifice of kanzo is the work and time it takes to come up with the financial sacrifice. That being said, there is unreasonable cost. With my airfare/transportation, special clothing, and all my personal shopping included, I paid about $10,000USD for my kanzo. The base fee was $8500, and I was given a complete accounting of what was purchased in my name. I came out of it telling my spiritual mother she should charge more based on the work I saw, but it’s hard to do because it’s already a lot of money for most folks and there’s no reason to ask anyone to pay more, really, since everyone can get paid out of that and all things can be purchased with that amount. No one who is ethical is making money off of ceremonies--it all goes into materials and making sure that everyone who shows up to work is paid fairly for their time and labor.

So, for an asogwe kanzo, it’s reasonable to be asked for anywhere really between $8,000USD and $10,000USD. I could see someone going a little lower than that, but I would side eye someone really hard who is asking for much more. I’ve heard stories of people being asked for $25,000USD for a kanzo, and that’s ridiculous and absolutely out of hand. Also, if you are paying in the $8,000 to $10,000 range, that should include all materials. You should not be being asked to ship barrels of supplies to be used in your ceremonies or be bringing suitcases full of stuff to be used on top of your fee. If someone is going to say that you need to provide all supplies (and a complete asogwe kanzo requires a LOT of supplies...the list I was given as an accounting of what was being purchased for me was three pages long single spaced), the price should reflect that. 

Minimal pricing. On the other end, there are people who ask for so little money that it is not possible to even purchase all the supplies nevermind appropriately compensate everyone who is working on your behalf. I’ve heard of ceremonies supposedly being done for under $1000USD, and that’s just not possible. You are not getting a complete ceremony for that. If someone is trying to tell you that you can get a cheap kanzo, what are they cheaping out on? Do you really want to put your head in the hands of someone who is not going to do the work completely or is being tight with money and perhaps buying substandard supplies or leaving things out?

That goes for free kanzo, too. There *are* situations where kanzo can be done for no money; that is often the biological children of a priest or for someone who is working for the priest long-term. That is how many Haitians in Haiti pay for their kanzo: they live or live close to the temple and work for their initiatory parent to earn their way in. Also, a priest may choose to do the work gratis for someone who is facing imminent death (like, any day now) and the lwa have indicated the djevo will save them. It’s not free, as it will be paid off later, but I have seen priests work completely out of pocket when it is clear that this is the only option to save their life.

But...being offered free kanzo as just a regular person who needs the work is not a thing. It was offered to me before I went in with my spiritual mother, and I remember thinking about what they would actually be taking payment to do that, i.e. how much of my soul would I be leaving behind with them, however unknowingly. There is absolutely no free lunch.

Buy 1 Get 1 Free. Also known as ‘if you bring a couple friends, you won’t have to pay as much’. Packing a djevo with whomever can be compelled into it doesn’t make anything cheaper, it’s just that they want to collect as much money as possible and they know that people in the US love to think they’re getting a deal. There is no bulk discount on labor, in that the priests working your ceremonies are not going to be happy being paid less to do more, and the machann is not going to give a bulk discount on chickens and other things. That’s just no how it goes. Beware the person who wants to sell you a good deal.

Changing prices. The price you are given should be the price, period. There should be no last minute asks for more cash because of some crisis or some other thing that suddenly needs to be done. I hear this more and more often: someone gets to Haiti and suddenly the person who is going to be doing ceremony for them asks them for more money for things that were previously unaccounted for or, even worse, someone says mid-ceremony that more money is needed for something they didn’t outline before. This is taking advantage of your vulnerability in the situation, and it’s super gross. Prices of supplies can change and things can come up, but covering that is what the priest commits to when you are paying your fee. This is serious enough that, in the lineage I was initiated in, there is a contract that outlines how much kanzo costs, what the expected costs are for us outside of the fee, and a suggested outline of how to divide up payments (if necessary). This is not only a guideline and commitment for the person who signs it, but for the priest as well.

Asking for money for unrelated things. Asking you to invest in their businesses, pay for personal services like hair/nails/clothing, asking for expensive gifts in the name of spiritual devotion, etc is outside of anything that should happen. It’s not uncommon for children of a house to contribute to ceremonies being mounted (bringing a bottle of liquor, flowers for the table, contributing cash towards expenses if they are able, etc) but it’s never okay for someone to ask you to give money so they can get a massage or for you to buy them an iPhone or for you to invest in the start-up costs for their business (all real examples I have seen). Deciding of your own volition to give a gift is perfectly fine, but them asking for those things or holding them as necessary for you to undergo ceremony is not okay.

Heavy recruitment. Posts on social media recruiting for kanzo, people inboxing trying to get you interested, holding multi-level marketing lectures or group meetings couched as informational sessions (often goes hand-in-hand with the buy 1 get 1 approach)  if you’re interested in kanzo, etc. A healthy djevo and sosyete does not need to recruit; the djevo fills itself because the lwa send the right people who need to be there.

They hold no other ceremonies for you to attend. Anyone who has not grown up inside the religion should be able to attend other ceremonies in the lineage they are interested in being a part of. The lack of other ceremonies being held is a big red flag; our spirits are fed through our fetes and spiritual feedings, and none of those are really secret (some aspects may be, but all have large public ceremonies). If they are not feeding their spirits in the ways the religion does, then they are feeding you to their spirits (I’ve literally seen people marked as sacrifices are).

And, if you cannot attend their ceremonies, how can you get to know their spirits, their other children, and the community that supports them? It is the first thing I tell people who are interested in serving the lwa: come to a fete and see what the religion is all about. How can you fully commit to something you’ve never seen? Those things should be accessible to you.

The first time you meet them should not be at the airport. That speaks for itself. Initiation and other ceremonies are forged via relationships and the religion is taught in person. If you cannot have a relationship with someone who you can see occasionally, you’re not really getting the benefit of the religion. This can mean sacrifices of time/money (many people travel for their Vodou), but it is worth it. You should not be expected or asked to undergo ceremony sight unseen. This is also why a house holding other ceremonies is important; seeing how the priest works and how they interact with spirits is key.

They have an empty temple. Healthy sosyetes have a community around them beyond the children of the house. Temples are full for ceremonies and are PACKED for kanzo and kanzo-related ceremonies. People travel from all over for fets and ceremonies that are done correctly and completely. The community also has an important function: their presence is endorsing the work the priest is doing, ESPECIALLY around kanzo. If there is no one there or it is only members of the house, there’s a big problem. 

Related: if they are undertaking ceremonies alone, that’s also a red flag. If they have no priests who are willing to come work with them and they are doing all the work on their own, there is a problem.

They are rigid and immovable. This is often pushed off on the lwa being super pejorative. You have to do this thing, or the lwa will be mad. You can’t kanzo at any other time but this, the lwa said so. If you don’t do kanzo with me, the lwa will kill you. If you talk to this person, the lwa will be angry. 

All of those things are real things really frightened people have brought to me personally. This is inappropriate power and control. The lwa understand we have lives and understand that sometimes things cannot happen in the timeline we had hoped. Sometimes there are consequences to not doing a thing, but there are DEFINITELY ways to manage that without things going totally sideways. 

When folks make statements like that, it is really about them and not the lwa. Changing your mind on doing a ceremony can be a let down for the priest who has prepared to do it, but that’s not about you. How you work through that is between you and your spirits.

They cause or seek to cause outright harm. I’ve heard stories and seen the fallout from priest physically assaulting their children for genuine mistakes, smashing sacred items as punishment, coercing folks into sexual activity, calling and threatening family members when they decide they no longer want to deal with abusive behavior and tactics, and all sorts of horrific stuff. I’ve heard these things be passed off as traditional, and that’s a lie. While there can certainly be cultural differences and it can take time to learn to navigate those, assault, threats of violence, and outright abuse is not a part of the religion.

They rush you. While it’s certainly normal for a priest to need to know if you are going to be a part of a ceremony or not and to expect you to pay on time or as you agreed to, there’s no rushing someone into the djevo. I might tell you that the spirits are indicating that kanzo is necessary or that it might be a good idea to do it sooner rather than later, but there is no flurry of chaotic activity that demands you part with a whole lot of money and get pushed right into the djevo. The lwa are patient and if there is an emergent need things can be done to either address that need temporarily or to encourage the lwa to give more time. 

They have no elders. If someone cannot name their initiator and their initiator’s initiator and on, there’s a problem. In Haitian Vodou, that’s not secret information; we are very proud of where we come from (or we should be). If they say they have no elders or don’t need them or have no contact with them, there is a deep problem. Our initiatory parent is our foundation; they even outrank the lwa in that the lwa place us in their hands to follow the expectations that our parent lays out.

If their initiatory parent has passed away, there are systems of checks and balances that still leave them with supports (godparents, priests who oversaw their ceremonies, elder siblings, etc).

If their relationship with their initiatory parent has degraded to the point that their parent won’t show up to the ceremonies they are holding or won’t help, there’s also big problems.

They cannot provide any proof of their initiation. In this day and age, there are ALWAYS pictures and video of our leve kanzo and baptem. Those things are not secret and we looooove our photos and video. They also serve as important proof that we were where we said we were and underwent what we said we did.

If no pictures were taken, they should be able to provide contacts who can verify that they were in the djevo and can verify the ceremonies were done completely and correctly (another reason community and other priests are important). Even if their parent has passed away, there still should be priests who can vouch for them. 

Additionally, there are also other ways that priests can be called out in public to prove that they are who they say there are. There is a whole ritual battle that can happen with the asson/sacred tool priests use, there are specific gestures and language that can be used, and other things that are only taught to people who make it through kanzo. If they can’t do those things or can’t account for them, there’s a big problem.

They mix things in. Haitian Vodou is Haitian Vodou and it’s a complete religion on it’s own. Folks who are selling ‘spells’ for the lwa, who are utilizing rootwork/conjure/hoodoo and presenting it as travay/spiritual work in the religion, who divine with Tarot cards or shells or runes or whatever else, who bring in outside spirits like Orisa or Santisima Muerte or whatever else and claim it belongs are missing the boat. People can certainly have multiple spiritual commitments, but those should be held clearly separate.

Haitian Vodou has it’s own system of spiritual work that is pretty distinct, and the same with divination, prayers, construction of a table for the lwa, and how ceremonies are laid out. For someone who has been taught well, it’s easy to spot but in general passing off all those other things as Vodou is not accurate.

And...sometimes it’s not that they are trying to mislead you. Sometimes they have not been taught how to do traditional work and so are leaning on what they knew previously because it has not been communicated to them that there are traditional ways to do spiritual work or to divine. See above with not knowing that someone has done wrong by them.

They exploit vulnerability. This often rides along with ‘I have the real Vodou’ and it focuses on addressing parts of identities and lived realities that carry weight in our day-to-day and that could be sensitive areas for us. The most common way that this plays out is claiming that they have real Vodou because they only make Black folks in the religion because it is a Black religion. This is super, SUPER insidious and requires some teasing out of threads to really get at what is being said.

It is certainly true that Haitian Vodou is a Black religion, in that it is born out the Black Atlantic, slavery, and colonialism, and that it has deep roots in Africa. There is no reframing or reinterpretation of Vodou that can subtract or nullify that, and any attempt to do so is a deeply racist wrong.

What this presentation of Vodou fails to take into account is it’s Haitian-ness; it divorces the culture from the religion and leaves it as a reinterpretation that isn’t rooted in the actual religion. This is a really carefully crafted whitewashing (really) of a HAITIAN religion aimed at exploiting the deep and true and valid desire that many Black folks have for a spiritual space without white folks and turns it into a cash cow. It’s gross.

If someone really wants to go down the road of ‘real Vodou’ and strip it down to it’s utter bare roots, no one who is not Haitian is getting in the door. That’s what the sales pitch is leaving out; it plays on the want for a space of folks from similar backgrounds and similar experiences and turns it away from the actual reality of the religion. There are many very legitimate lineages and sosyete who do not admit white folks, but they also only admit Haitians. It’s couching a grift under a veil of very true and real things.

It also doesn’t communicate the reality of going to Haiti as a non-Haitian: it can be hard, and it can be doubly hard for someone who might look majority Haitian (darker skinned) but who does not speak the language or understand how to navigate the culture, religious and otherwise. The word for someone who is an outsider no matter their skin color is the same across the board: blan. That can understandably be hard to swallow, and it’s a disservice to present the idea to someone that they are getting the real deal because it will only be Black folks only to be put in an environment where they are unprepared to be a cultural outsider.

This happens to other folks, too. I’ve seen situations where someone is told that they are the only white person that the priest has made, so they are getting the real thing, or that they are the only house that will make a trans person or someone who is queer or gay or whatever. Manipulating people through using core pieces of their Self is pretty heinous.

There are no Haitians. Tying into the above, you cannot do Haitian Vodou without the presence of the culture bearers. It’s simply not possible.

They will not give you what is yours. Someone who is made a manbo or houngan asogwe should have their own pot tet, asson, a kolye, a set of govi, and a set of paket kongo. All of those items should be made for you as part of your kanzo. The specific number of paket and govi can vary a little, but they are yours and you should be able to take them home with you if you want. Many houses give folks the option of keeping their govi and paket in Haiti, but the choice should be yours. Additionally, many sosyetes give asogwe the choice of whether to take their pot tet home or keep in in the Haiti temple. There should absolutely be no discussion about your asson and kolye; if they are not going to give them to you, they are essentially holding you hostage and disallowing you from acting on the initiation you went through with good intentions.

They do not do kanzo in Haiti. This has somehow become controversial, but it’s straightforward: kanzo is only valid when done in Haiti. I see it as presented as opinion or with qualifiers (only asogwe needs to be done in Haiti, etc), but that’s just simply not true. Beyond the outright impossibility to build a complete djevo in the US/outside of Haiti (throwing a little dirt under the floor ain’t it), there are things that must be done when your feet are literally on the dirt and there are parts of ceremonies and preparation for ceremonies that cannot be done in the US or outside of Haiti (chache fey, lalye, a full bat ge etc).

Further, an important part of all kanzo whether it is hounsi kanzo/senp, sou pwen, or asogwe is meeting the lwa in their home. The lwa are rooted in Haiti and how can we profess to want to serve them if we either won’t go there or won’t bring people there? When you go through ceremony in Haiti, you are profoundly changed and it is easy to see why it is so important to make the sacrifice to go there. Trying to find a workaround for that says a lot about what folks are really trying to do.

And, for people who are meant to be manbos and houngans, a ‘kanzo’ that is undertaken in the US is not recognized, meaning that no legitimately made priest can or will greet you as a peer. You can’t be passed an asson to salute spirits in ceremony, you cannot take part in what spiritual work is done outside of Haiti, and you have essentially taken your money and burned it up.

Folks don’t think it’s that serious, but I’ve seen Haitians literally turn their backs on people who profess an American ‘kanzo’ and be disinvited to attend ceremonies until they get right with the religion, and assons snatched out of hands that have not been made to hold them. It’s a real thing that has real world consequences, and that doesn’t even touch the spiritual repurcussions.

Ceremonies that can be done outside of Haiti include lave tet, aksyon de gras, spiritual feedings (if you’re feeling hefty and have lots of people to help), maryaj lwa, and all sorts of fets. Nothing can compare to having them done in Haiti, but they are absolutely valid done elsewhere. Some folks have asked what happens if going to Haiti is not immediately viable (especially with the reality of COVID19), and the answer is that we wait or do other things in the mean time.

So...that’s the big stuff that I can think of off the top of my head. It’s a lot, but that’s the stuff I see and hear about regularly (really). The biggest and best tool that Joe Vodouizan has to discern whether or not what they are seeing is common sense:

Would I accept this as true and valid in any other setting?

How can I verify that this is true/accurate?

Do I feel like I am getting away with something, versus working through a difficult process?

What happens when I ask questions or (politely) challenge what I am seeing/hearing?

Does this make sense?

How do I feel about this?

These are the things that will save you from being taken advantage of. Move slowly and thoughtfully, and listen to your inner voice...that’s your guardian angel trying to guide you.

I hope this is helpful...I know this is probably more than you asked for. Let me know if you have more questions.

[drarryruinedme7]

Hi hun! Congrats on the 400 followers.🌹 May I ask for a Drarry babysitting Teddy Lupin?

Hey there @harrypotterfanfictionwriter! Here I am, I tried to write something for your prompt and I hope you’ll like it!! 💗Many thanks to my beta @keyflight790 and my always supporting alpha/beta/friend @rockmarina ❤️.

Drarry | Rating: General | Word count: 2.8K | Tags: babysitting Teddy, redeemed Draco Malfoy, boys in love, first kiss | READ IT ON AO3.

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things

The first time they met there, it was weird.

Harry entered Andromeda’s house with a little package in his hands and halted abruptly on the doorstep.

“Dromeda… why is Teddy’s hair so…” Harry struggled to find a word until nothing better than, “Malfoy-ish?” came to his mind.

His step-aunt snorted, shaking her head lightly. “Don’t you think he looks cute with this platinum blond?”

Harry regarded Teddy more closely. The kid was now looking expectantly at the package in Harry’s hands. He kinda did look pretty with blond hair, but that wasn’t the point. He opened his mouth to reply when none other than Draco Malfoy appeared on the stairway that led to the second floor of the house.

Harry’s hands tightened around the wrapping of Teddy’s present and his eyes snapped to Andromeda. She was apparently concentrated on knitting some sort of coloured scarf and wasn’t paying attention to the fact that a former Death Eater happened to be in her house.

Malfoy caught Harry’s eye and just stepped into the living room, silently approaching Teddy and sitting next to him. He made Teddy’s magical marbles dance around him, eliciting heartfelt laughter from him.

From Harry’s godson. Like Harry wasn’t even there. Like Harry wasn’t even a big deal.

No. Draco Malfoy couldn’t just ignore him.

“What are you doing here, exactly?” Harry tried to convey as much spite as he could, but Malfoy simply raised his head and grinned.

He fucking grinned.

“Playing with my cousin. Do you want to join us?”

Teddy turned his head to Harry too, and his hair became almost black as he stretched his hands towards him. “Up!”

Harry was staring in horror at this strange version of Draco Malfoy. He knew he had changed since the War, he’d seen him earlier that week at the restoration of Hogwarts and he’d received his letter of apology, but surely this was a step too far.

Trying to gather his control, Harry left the package on the floor, next to the marbles, and picked Teddy up, lifting him above his head and peppering his face with kisses.

With Teddy laughing in his arms, Harry kneeled next to Malfoy and tried to smile at him. If he could be civil, Harry certainly couldn’t be any less.

He thought again about Malfoy’s offer. Did he want to join them?

“Well… let’s see if Teddy likes what I bought him.” He unwrapped the package, revealing a big stuffed horse doll enchanted to gallop an overexcited Teddy around the house.

Harry let his eyes drift towards Malfoy, who was watching Teddy on his new toy, clapping his hands and laughing. Without taking his eyes off Teddy, Malfoy said, “He’s lucky to have you as a godfather, you know.”

Harry’s world must have turned upside down, because there was no way he’d heard that right. Ignoring the way his heart was vibrating in every fibre of his body, Harry scrambled for something to say, anything. He took a marble and fidgeted with it. “Erm, these are beautiful. Did you buy them?”

Malfoy nodded, offering him a soft smile again. Harry had no idea what to think — this version of Malfoy was making him nervous and he couldn’t guess how to deal with it. When Teddy came back to his marbles, they all played together and Harry was surprised to realise he was having a great time with Malfoy, who was surprisingly good with Teddy; gentle and patient.

Their time together flew by and soon it was evening. Andromeda tried to insist that Malfoy stay over for dinner, but he refused, saying he had to go back to his mother. Malfoy’s No left a bittersweet pang of disappointment in Harry’s chest, and a plea to remain almost escaped his lips.

He managed to hold it in and walked Malfoy to the door, gripping his hand quickly to bid him farewell and closing the door behind himself. When he turned towards Dromeda, she raised an eyebrow at him and a corner of her mouth lightly quirked up.

It was the closest thing to a smile Harry saw on her face since the War was over.

—–

The second time, Harry was less prepared than the first one, if that was even possible.

He was late, he always was. He entered Andromeda’s running, barely closing the door behind himself and sprinting towards Teddy’s room. He almost missed her “Hi, Harry!” in his haste to reach Teddy… and Malfoy. He needed to be certain he met the real Malfoy the last time and not just a faker but kinder… well, also, more handsome, version of him. The whole thing stank to Harry.

As soon as he reached the door to Teddy’s room, he slowed down. A soft whisper from inside the room made heat pool in Harry’s stomach…  

When the dog bites

When the bee stings

When I’m feeling sad

I simply remember my favorite things

And then I don’t feel so bad

Someone was singing… someone that definitely sounded like Malfoy and whose voice was so deep that Harry’s chest felt tight. Without thinking too much, he pushed the door slowly open to find Malfoy standing in the centre of the room. Teddy, with bright blond hair, tears in his eyes, but relaxed in Malfoy’s hug.

Harry’s breath faltered and goosebumps ran down his spine while Malfoy turned his head, nodding to Harry, still delicately singing…

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens

Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens

Brown paper packages tied up with strings

These are a few of my favorite things

All Harry could do was stand there and smile, while Teddy’s hair slowly changed to his brand black. When standing there simply staring at Malfoy became too awkward, Harry approached them and gently kissed Teddy’s cheek.

“Hi,” Malfoy whispered. It was so new to hear him whisper, that Harry almost forgot who they were and where they came from. “He was crying, searching for his Mummy… but I think he’s calmer now.”

Harry felt something heavy drop in his stomach at those words, making his eyes sting and he threaded his fingers in Teddy’s hair. He replied whispering as Malfoy did. “You’re good with him, he looks so at peace… and — ” Harry chewed on his bottom lip. Was he really about to say it? “And your voice is soothing… it’s, um, sweet when you sing.”

They shared a look and Harry saw Malfoy’s cheeks gaining a deeper colour. Harry stared at him, thinking once again he had no idea who this guy standing in front of him was. Space and time seemed different when they were together at Dromeda’s with Teddy. And he let himself believe they really could be someone else, something different.

“Thanks, Harry.” Malfoy’s eyes widened before he quickly added, “Can I call you Harry?”

He didn’t have to think about the reply. “Of course, you can, Draco.”

When dinner time neared, Draco politely refused again Andromeda’s invite, greeting them at the doorstep, promising he’d stay next time.

Harry daydreamed about that next time, about them chatting over dinner, laughing, telling funny anecdotes with Teddy, maybe even talking more serious stuff, something about the War? How they were dealing with the aftermaths?

He was gazing absent-mindedly into the void when Andromeda playfully shook him. “You get along well, after all, Harry.” Her voice seemed to have a hopeful tone, rather than the flat one she had assumed after the Final Battle.

Harry felt his face on fire. Sighing deeply, he just smiled. “I guess we do.”

—–

The third time they met there, Harry knew it, it was planned. So, he should have been more prepared. But he wasn’t.

He and Draco still met during Hogwarts restoration, but there they were their old selves. Draco called him ‘Potter’, almost never approached him, keeping a distance, maintaining a cold stance.

That’s why he was so nervous when he arrived at Dromeda’s. Draco still hadn’t arrived, so Andromeda left the instructions about where to find food, how to change diapers, the right temperature for baby food and such, to Harry and then went out with Narcissa. They were trying to rebuild their relationship.

Harry was baking cookies with Teddy when Draco finally arrived. He showed a big grin to the two of them, covered with flour and chocolate, and joined them without a second thought.

The entire afternoon went smoothly, Draco calling him ‘Harry’, playing with Teddy, showing him magic, listening to Harry telling stories about Muggle life.

In the end, Teddy’s loving eyes convinced him to stay even for dinner.

All during their meal, they kept things light-hearted until they brought Teddy to bed. It was an incredibly intimate moment, where Harry felt all the warmth of a welcoming house, of love and caring for the little ones. Those feelings he never experienced as a child himself and would have never imagined sharing with Draco Malfoy.

When he was in his bed, Teddy yawned and looked at Draco with his eyes already half-closed, asking him to sing a lullaby. For the second time, Harry stayed mesmerized, listening to Draco, his voice reaching Harry’s soul and taking its space into his heart.

Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star,

How I wonder what you are…

And it was in that moment that Harry knew it, he knew something was growing inside himself towards Draco that he couldn’t stop anymore, like a snowball picking up more and more snow in its fall, getting inescapably bigger as it rolls down.

When Teddy was fast asleep, they moved to the living room, waiting for Andromeda to come back. They sat on the couch before the hearth, a hot chocolate in their hands and a companionable silence between them.

After a while, Draco’s head slid on Harry’s shoulder and he couldn’t be silent anymore. He needed to ask, to know… “Do you ever – Are you…”

“I am sure you can articulate something even with your little Gryffindor brain,” Draco snarled, his hot breath tickling Harry’s collarbone.

“Ah-ah. No, I mean… I wanted to ask… are we friends?” Harry’s feet became so interesting all of a sudden that he found he couldn’t tear his eyes off of them, his cheeks burning, his throat drying.

Draco snorted, and Harry almost whined at the sensation on his neck. “Well, I hope so. I know I’ve done some shit, but…”

“Why don’t you ever talk to me at Hogwarts, then?” The question was out of his mouth before he could realise it.

Draco shifted his head, curling it even more into the crook of Harry’s neck, shutting his eyes closed so much Harry felt his eyelashes brushing his skin. His lips were dangerously close to Harry’s neck and his voice came out muffled. “I thought you didn’t want people to see you are friendly with me.”

Harry sucked in a breath. This wasn’t the answer he had expected. Actually, he didn’t know what he had expected. “Fuck ‘em,” was all he said, while with a hand he started to stroke Draco’s hair gently.

—–

It could have been the tenth or eleventh time — time passed in a blur when they were together — when Harry understood he could not escape his feelings anymore.

Harry entered the house with the warm trepidation that he learned to associate with Draco by now and as soon as he stepped foot in, Teddy ran in his arms, screaming with joy. “Harry! Dray surprise!!” pointing towards his room.

With Teddy on his shoulders, he reached the room, heart thrumming with excitement. But as much as that ‘Dray surprise’ could have made Harry imagine, when he entered his jaw dropped and his breath caught. The walls were animated by magical drawings all over, fairies, dragons, stars, planets, everything a kid can dream of was there, magnificently painted in meticulous details and vibrant colours.

But the sight that really stole Harry’s breath away was Draco crouched in front of the wider wall, a brush in his hand, completely splashed with paint, a concentrated frown on his face.

His entire body was vibrating; all he wanted to do was to reach Draco and kiss away his frown, strip him of his clothes, lick away the paint on his skin. Shaking his head, Harry cleared his throat and Draco turned, his frown quickly smoothing into an open happy face. “Erm, I think I got a bit carried away.”

“I think you’ll never stop surprising me, Draco. You can paint? This is gorgeous.”

Malfoy stood up, leaving the brush on the paint bucket. “I am full of surprises, Potter. You should know that at this point.” He smiled, flushing lightly and Harry’s stomach jolted.

“I know.” He lowered Teddy on the floor who ran to the paint bucket, meddling with his hands and squealing happily.

“Dray paint!”

Draco looked at him and pulled out his tongue jokingly. Teddy blew raspberries at him and ran away, calling Andromeda to show her Draco’s work.

Moving his gaze to the walls again, Draco sighed. “You know, I’ve charmed it.”

Harry’s eyebrows knitted together. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that I drew some basic characters to adorn the walls, but the paint will change based on Teddy’s wanting and thoughts and on the stories I’ll tell him.” He smirked at Harry, looking smug. It sounded rather impressive, indeed.

“If you want, I can charm it so that it will change with your stories, too.”

“Sure, why not.” Harry looked amazed while Draco took his wand and muttered a spell he never heard before. With his wand still sparkling golden, he asked Harry, “I need you to tell anything, anything at all. It’s just to impress your voice with the magic in the paint of the walls.”

Harry felt embarrassment take over his body; he wasn’t the good one with stories, Draco always invented them and used the right words. He was clumsy and banal, but… an idea crossed his mind. He didn’t know how that would go, but it was worth a try.

“Okay… What about a story about two kids. They never got along when they were younger, on the contrary. You could define them enemies, but they had a lot in common. Born in different families with different circumstances, they quickly learned that they had a clearly defined path in front of their selves and that they couldn’t escape it.”

Harry stopped, taking a deep breath. Malfoy was looking at him with a perplexed face, but a little smile was pulling at his mouth.

“Well, they took completely different choices and they both regretted some of them. They faced evil and, in the end, they both survived. They are scarred now, they have suffered and lost loved ones… and after all this, they met again. From the ashes of their past, they met and slowly started to rebuild, to make good from it. And…”

Somewhere during Harry’s rambling, Draco must have reached him because they were now standing mere inches apart. His gaze held Harry’s. “And?”

“A-and… they… fell in love. I… think.”

Draco raised a hand and cupped the nape of Harry’s neck, lightly caressing it. He leaned his forehead on Harry’s and bumped their noses together, whispering, “They did. They did fall in love, didn’t they?”

Harry closed his eyes, caressed Draco’s hips, said, “I want to kiss you.”

“I’m not gonna stop you.”

When their lips sealed, Harry felt years of struggling, of pain, remorse, hatred, all dissipating, melting away in the heat of Draco’s mouth, in the sweetness of his tongue tracing the shape of his lips, in the kisses he peppered down his jaw, his ear.

After what felt like a lifetime, Draco bit down lightly on his earlobe, breathing, “Harry, open your eyes.”

The walls of Teddy’s room had changed to show a pile of ashes at the bottom of the wall and a giant phoenix arising from it, in a blaze of colours and sparks.

Draco started to hum close to Harry’s ear…

Wire-framed glasses and black messy hair

Big deep green eyes shine as brightly as emeralds

Lightning-bolt scar and he loves when I sing

These are a few of my favorite things…

[kibanafuji]

valentine applications!

Name: Harley Amagawa Nature of Feelings: Well you’re just gonna hafta find out, ain’t'cha? Sexual & Romantic Orientation: 🦄🌟🌈✨🌈✨🌈✨🏳️‍🌈 Personality: Like you don’t know? … Alright, alright, I’m all the energy of a pop star wrapped in the sass of a homo Simon Cowell. And call me Shakira cause my hips don’t lie. My lips tho? Hmm… An’ look, people may know me for dressin’ like a Cacturne, but let’s get one thing straight–I am not a cactus. Cacti are known for bein’ able to survive the harshest of climates ‘cause they carry water all up in them. Harleys, however, are the thirstiest bein’s known to mankind and you betta believe it. ;3 Hobbies / Interests: Everybody knows I’m a coordinator. But I also run a pretty successful indie clothes shop. I like to sing. Don’t know how good I am at it. And I love baking. I like to cook for myself and my little cuties! And they munch it all up! Likes: Not to be cliche or anything but I really love Pokemon. The older I get, the more love I have for the underdogs– ya know, the Pokemon that don’t get as much love as everyone else? If the world won’t love 'em, I will! Other than that, I like shopping, gossip, sleepovers, livin’ the high life, playing with hair (yours OR mine!!!), traveling, camping (but not for long periods of time), and… I dunno! Guess I’m stoppin’ there! Dislikes: Fakers, kids, cuttin’ my hair, bullies, people abandonin’ pokemon, sour & bitter food (like, I can tolerate it, but I really don’t like it…), and most attempts at water/ice performances that aren’t, ya know, WALLACE. Goals / Ambitions: Well, it’d be great to get a higher title as a coordinator. But I also kinda wanna open a Bakery one day. Or get a bigger name in the fashion industry. I got a lotta dreams an’ they kinda conflict with each other, it SUCKS. Preferred Foods: SWEET THINGS SWEET THINGS SWEET THINGS Preferred Beverages: I do like tea… but give me some good, fruity alcohol and I’m set. How Will We Spend Time Together / Your Ideal Date: Okay well… I ain’t never been on a date before. I guess I just exposed myself. But like.. I wanna do something REALLY CHEEZY. Picnic date under a tree where I dress up all pretty and innocent but we end up rolling around all lost in kisses? Dinner an’ a movie where I pretend to get super sleepy or really scared so I can cuddle or you pretend to yawn so you can put your arm around me? In-house date where we say we’re gonna watch a movie but we’re all over each other not ten minutes in? SUPER CHEEZY DATE!!! Do You Like Dessert: LIKE I SAID~ 🧁🍮🧁🍡🍰🍡🍰🍡🍪🍨🍪 Your Thoughts On Love: I mean… I’m sure it’s a real thing. I get real feelings, people have real feelings. Bitches just wanna be pessimistic just cause they had their first or second or third heartbreak and like. Yeah bitch that’s sad, but you ain’t gotta ruin it for the rest of us. How Many Relationships Have You Been In: Haha… like I said. Will You Steal My Food: Oh, absolutely. You’ve been warned. Gold, Silver, or Bronze: Okay, I'ma go on record as sayin’ they’re all overrated, BUT. Just based on appearance, silver’s the worst, bronze and gold are tied, and rose gold is the MOST superior, don’t @ me. Cake Or Pie: Oh, cake. Definitely cake. Flowers, Chocolates, or Stuffed Animals: Okay, right off the bat, flowers are out. Puh-LEASE don’t give me somethin’ that’s just gonna die and stink up my room. I mean don’t get me wrong: I’ll still appreciate the gesture and think they’re pretty and keep them and love them and love you–but of the three options, they’re definitely the worst. So now the other two… THOSE are hard. Chocolates… see they gotta be GOOD, QUALITY chocolates. Cause look, I love food, but like, I love food, an’ I ain’t good at pretendin’ I like food when I don’t, so I’d feel so bad if ya bought me some chocolate and I hated it and it’s written all over my face an’ you can tell and– …….. STUFFIES, THO! See, like… I ain’t a fan of generic stuffed animals? If it don’t mean nothin’ to me in general, I won’t care about it as a stuffie?? Like, in theory I should care cause YOU gave it to me right, but… I mean I guess we’ll see. I’m just sayin, maybe buy a stuffie of one'a my Pokemon or one that I want or somethin’. That’ll definitely go better; Can You Cook: Hell yeah I can. But I won’t lie: my bakin’s better.

"well, obviously the answer is yes--- an' every line a' this is duly noted. particularly, that you've never 'ad a proper date before! good thing you're lookin' for somethin' cheesy as 'ell there, that's my bloody specialty, innit. heh. what i'm thinkin', right, we do a nice stay-at-'ome date, we watch a movie an' that, but that'll be at night, after we've spent the day bakin' for each other. i'll get us some nice, high-quality chocolate, couple different kinds, an' we can nibble on it while usin' it for makin' our own biscuits an' cookies an' whatnot, an' that way we can make 'em just 'ow we like 'em rather than botherin' with storebought assortments an' endin' up with a box still half-full with chocolates we tried an' didn't like.

once our snacks are finished bakin', i make us some drinks, we settle in, an' we watch a movie or two--- i'm thinkin' we watch somethin' right scary first, let the drinks settle in in the process, an' then once we're good an' sozzled we watch some real shite movie an' make fun of it together, let ourselves relax a bit from the first movie. got a few choice titles in that department--- thankskilling, slink, father's day, uh... i think the title of another one was 'crazy bitches'... i've got more, can't remember the titles at the moment.

so, 'ow's all that sound?"

[spootiliousrps]

Denial (Ineffable Husbands)

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You both like ineffable husbands.

Stranger: “Oh, Crowley, what a wonderful surprise! We’ve just been talking about you!” Aziraphale chirped, almost proudly, as soon as Crowley had set foot into the bookshop, taking him and several human customers that were in the store by surprise, but before he had time to open his mouth Aziraphale had hugged his arm and kissed his cheek, smiling cheerfully and even smugly, at another person in the room who’d seemingly just come out after Aziraphale from the backroom. “Oh, I don’t think you’ve met before!” Aziraphale let out in mock surprise. “Crolwey, this is Mr. Chiel, one of my business colleagues. Mr. Chiel, this is Anthony J. Crowley, my boyfriend.” he said with a cheerful smile. “Well, Mr. Chiel, as much as I’ve thoroughly enjoyed this chat of ours, I’m afraid you’ll have to leave now. I don’t like having him wait.” he said, smiling a wide smile that obviously wasn’t meant to be apologetic nor good-natured. Mr. Chiel returned an even faker smile, his eyes never having left Crowley since the other walked into the store. “…Mr. Crowley. Glad to finally meet you.” he said with a small sneer and then glared at Aziraphale. “..We’re not finished with the conversation. I’ll be back tomorrow when you’re-“ he threw a dirty look at Crowley, “-less occupied.” The customers in the store were watching this unexpected drama of Mr. Fell’s unfold before their eyes in what they thought was a discreet manner.

You: [reading]

Stranger: ((Thanks!))

You: [Oh Hey! We've rp'd before! I still have the log if you're interested in continuing]

Stranger: ((Oh, well, I'm not sure if it's me, but sure!))

You: Crowley sauntered into the shop as if he owned the place, just as he always had. It wasn’t until Aziraphale’s unusual tone that his pace faltered, the Angel moving to his side and practically wrapping himself around the Demon. Naturally, their friendship had developed over the six thousand years they’d known each other, to the point that Crowley knew immediately something was up. He did his best, however, to hide how the small kiss heated him, his shaded gaze moving to the human man. A foul taste came to his mouth at the feeling of the man, at the way Aziraphale forced a smile towards him. It didn’t take more than a second for Crowley to get the picture, an arm wrapping around the Angel’s waste and pulling him closer. “I’m ssssure.” Crowley replied simply, hissing a bit in his defensive state as he eyed the man. “I, wouldn’t bother, Mr. Chiel.” He warned in a harsh whisper that only the three of them could hear as he passed, gaze still ominous and threatening.

Stranger: Chiel glared at the demon after the harsh whisper, making a face as he did. "I don't think you really have a say in it, Mr...Crawly." he said and then tilted his head a bit to the side, regarding him. "This is between Aziraphale and me, and I'm pretty sure he could do without any further...manipulation." he said coolly and then looked over at Aziraphale whose face was heating up, a quite rare frown present on his features. "Mr. Chiel-!" he started and then was reminded that they were in the middle of his shop, with people present and threw a quick glance around. "..There is no need to be /rude/!" he huffed.

You: Crowley had already made a quick move towards the man as if he were going to strike him (though it would have been far worse than that), when Aziraphale's tone caught him mid step. He didn't bother glancing at the Angel, knowing full well that he would be in an upset state. Instead he kept his hellfire gaze on the man before him (not that it could be seen behind his glasses). "Maybe itsss not." He admitted, voice still low. "But if I find you bothering my Angel again... You'll only wissssh I had brought Hell Fire down upon you." He growled, elongated fangs flashing only briefly as he practically snarled at the man.

Stranger: Barachiel rolled his eyes at that and folded his arms over his chest, mustering up his best bored look to shoot over at Crowley, but his shoulders did tense up at the mention of Hellfire and the very close proximity the demon was currently in. He...wouldn't dare doing anything rash while the humans were present, now, would he? Chiel set his jaw and then huffed. "You don't scare me, snake." he said. "And I'm not bothering Aziraphale, I'm /helping/. Besides, could you drop the act already? It's been far too long for you to still be acting like this. Azira may have fallen for it, but I have not and will not." he said with a frown. "Now do step aside and be reminded of your place." he said, eyes flashing gold for a moment as he glared at him challengingly. "That's enough!" Aziraphale snapped. "Leave. Now." he said, which was a first for him, and looked quite angry. Chiel was startled by that as well as the people in the shop and then sneered. "Huh. You know I'm right. I know, it is upsetting, but you'll come round to it." "Out!" Aziraphale let out again and with one last glare at Crowley the angel was indeed out.

You: "My place is here by his side you pathet-" Crowley began before Aziraphale's order had his jaw snapping shut. He didn't care about the on-lookers, about making a scene. He didn't care about any of it. If he had his say he'd smite the Angel here and now. What he /did/ care about, however, was Aziraphale. He knew the Angel would be upset, perhaps even angry with him if he killed 'Mr. Chiel'. So, he refrained. When the man was finally out of sight, Crowley seemed to relax a bit though his scowl was still in place. "You should have let me smite him, angel... It would be a good deed really." He mumbled softly.

Stranger: Aziraphale huffed and then looked over at Crowley, sighing as his shoulders slumped. "Oh, Crowley.. I am ever so sorry. If it were at a different time and place-" he started and then sighed again, shaking his head as he reached for the other's hand, looking quite upset still. He then turned around, a weak smile on his face. "Ehem- Excuse me? Excuse me! May I have your attention, please? I do apologize greatly, but I'm afraid the shop will be closing earlier today, so I would kindly ask all of you to come back tomorrow." he said and there was a chatter of 'of course's and 'certainly's as the humans left the shop.

You: Crowley's frown turned form one of annoyance and even anger to worry, in an instant. Aziraphale was more upset than the Demon had seen him and quite some time and he didn't like it. "Angel..." He whispered softly as everyone began to shuffle out the door. He stepped closer, obviously worried about his friend, only glancing up when the last person was out the door, giving a flick of his wrist to close and lock it behind them. "What happened?" He asked, attention returning to him. "What did he say? Are they going to force you back into Heaven? Surely they can't do that."

Stranger: Aziraphale let go of his hand and then slumped down into the nearby chair, looking down at the floor. "Oh, they can't really..but that doesn't mean they won't try." he said. "The thing is, they want me to be re-educated." he let out, the word said with a mix of humiliation and resentment. "They think this is all just because I've been away from the light of Heaven for too long."

You: "Re-educated?!" Crowley scoffed. "Well, that's very /human/ of them!" He added with a shake of his head. "It sounds like that idiots that would send their kids off to be 're-educated' because they were gay. Most of them either committed suicide or wish they had! I should know! I guided a lot of them to Hell! Pathetic!" He spat moving to plop down onto the sofa across from him. "If you ask me, Heaven needs to be re-educated." He paused before shrugging. "And why they're at it they should just hand over the keys to you. You're the only one with half a brain up there anyways."

Stranger: The angel winced at that, looking up at Crowley to see him plop down onto the sofa. "Yes, I've noticed it's quite...hypocritical of them." he said. It was still weird, calling angels 'them' and Heaven 'them', but that was how it was, and maybe it would have been for the best if Aziraphale had figured it out long ago. He chuckled at Crowley's idea of Heaven needing to be 're-educated'. "I can't really disagree. Though it's not like I'm amandmant that I'm in the right either." he said with a small shrug of his shoulders. "I don't think I'd do a very good job at being in charge of Heaven. Not in the slightest." he admitted.

You: Crowley seemed to consider it for a moment. "I dunno about that." He finally offered. "I mean, Michael and Gabriel are doing a pretty shit job up there. How hard could it be? If Heaven is suppose to be ruled by love and kindness, they've made a right mess of things. You seem to have enough in a single pinky finger to supply the world for another century. They could definitely learn a few things from you." He teased lightly.

Stranger: Blinking a few times at the unexpected round of compliments, the angel smiled, batting his hand at the demon. "Oh, Crowley..it's not really like that." he said and then shifted a bit in his seat. "I mean, I definitely do have a few complaints..but, well. I don't think I'd really..want that. I'm quite happy here. On Earth." he said, blushing a bit as he spoke. "I think..I quite like humans as they are."

You: "Good." Crowley replied a bit too quickly. "Because I quite like you here." He admitted with a shrug. "It'd be pretty damn boring being the only immortal worth talking to; and I certainly can't talk to myself for the rest of time." He paused as if considering it. "Well... I /could/ but it'd get kinda tiresome after a while. I can be insufferable at times, you know."

Stranger: Aziraphale chuckled at that, smiling over at his dear old serpent. "Yes, I am very well aware." he teased with a proud little smile and then looked over through the shop window. "...They're going to send another angel down here, you know." he said after a bit, playing with his fingers.

You: "Maybe by then they'll figure out how idiotic they're being." He offered. "Instead of 'Shame on you Aziraphale'. It will be 'Please Aziraphale, Please forgive us for our stupidity. Here have the keys to Heaven... The throne too!" Crowley teased before falling silent for a moment and giving a sigh. "Nah... I suppose that is a bit far fetched." He shrugged.

Stranger: Aziraphale chuckled at that as well. He wondered if Crowley was purposely trying to make him laugh. Probably. It was his way of cheering him up. So very kind, as always. "There's no throne in Heaven, my dear. Well, at least not anymore." he spoke and then continued playing with his fingers. "Do you think you'd have been friends with another angel if they'd come down here instead of me?" he asked.

You: "Pfft." Crowley snorted at the question as if it were the most absurd thing he had ever heard. "Angels are stiff necked bureaucrats that use 'God's' message for their own gain. Most Angels would have slaughtered any mortal thing that came near them if they knew Mummy Dearest wasn't watching." He grumbled. "No offense of course." He added as an after thought. "You're different though. I knew that even before the Apple."

Stranger: Aziraphale frowned a bit at that. "Well...not /all/ angels are like that.." he let out. "I mean, if they'd been down here for as long as I have, I'm sure that they've grown to like Earth as well. And well, you offered the Arrangement as a business deal. I'm sure you'd have offered it to them as well. It is probable that you'd have ended up as friends." he reasoned and then looked over at Crowley in surprise. "Before the Apple..? You knew me before Eden?" he asked, eyes widening. Crowley never really liked to talk about anything that was before Eden, or even worse, before the Fall, and Aziraphale knew not to push, but he had always been very curious about Crowley's life before the Fall.

You: Crowley seemed to tense at the question, obviously a bit weary as to where it could lead. "Perhaps, not /that/ far back." He offered, making sure he didn't exactly lie and say no. "/In/ Eden." He clarified. "Before I tempted Eve. I spent a lot of time among the animals there, you know. I had to... Recon and all that." He explained with a shrug, getting a bit more comfortable on the cushions. "When I first arrived, I watched all the Angels... Watched how they interacted with things. West was alright... She, didn't care for the creatures, I think she was disgusted by them but she never harmed any of them if they got to close. North though..." He tisked and shook his head. "Anything got to close to him and it simply ceased to exist. And South just ignored it all, way too indifferent if you ask me." He shrugged. "You though..." He voice turned a bit warmer as he rested his hands behind his head and stared up at the ceiling, a small amused smile playing on his lips. "I remember you watching this turtle scuttle slowly across your path... And you just... Waited." He chuckled. "Just stood there, waiting for it to get to its destination. You even excused yourself!" He laughed. "Or the time when that Gecko crawled into your robes and you gave it a lecture on inappropriateness." He mused. "No... You weren't like the others."

Stranger: Aziraphale listened to the other and as he did, his face was heating up more and more. He didn't know. Really, he had no idea that Crowley had been watching him before they'd met. And now, all kinds of emotions crashed over him at once as he listened to the other's retelling. "O-oh, how embarrassing.." he let out. "I-I on my part never knew the snake was..well, more than a snake. I was quite startled when you first appeared next to me!" he admitted and then hid his face in his hands. "Oh, dear. Is that why you decided to talk to me?"

You: The reaction had another chuckle escaping him as Aziraphale's embarrassment worsened. "Well, not the only one but it was part of it, yeah." He admitted. "You had me curious. I had never met an Angel like you before." He added with a shrug. "I don't think you've ever considered yourself above anyone or anything else. It was pretty... Refreshing." He sighed. "So to answer your question again. No, angel. I don't think I could have been friends with a different Angel if they were the one assigned to Earth."

Stranger: Aziraphale smiled over at him and then had to look away again, embarrassed. Crowley's words were warming up his heart, really. But they were also reminding him of what the angel had said and the pressing elephant in the room was growing even more. And the ironical thing was that it might after all be only him that saw it, but this visit from Heaven only seemed to push him even more. It had to be discussed at some point, apparently. So Aziraphale steeled himself and took a deep breath but the voice that came out wasn't exactly as strong and confident as he would have liked it to have been. And he wasn't even looking at Crowley. "Are we...just friends, however?" he let out.

You: Crowley's smile vanished in an instant. The question sent a wave of panic though him that not Satan nor God could spur on their own. Was Aziraphale really asking what he thought he was? Were they really going to do this now? Here? And if so, what was he suppose to say? What did the Angel want? Did it really matter? Yes of course it did but... What about the consequences? Crowley had /fallen/ he knew a thing or two about consequences... Knew to look for them always. "What are you asking, angel?" He asked, trying to bide some time.

Stranger: Aziraphale scratched his cheek and then licked his lips nervously. "Well, uh.." he let out and then frowned at the demon, flustrated. "Oh, why did you have to answer with a question?" he let out and then sighed. "What I meant is..well. What are friends, really?" he let out. Oh, dear. "I mean - are we talking in human terms? Friendship?"

You: Crowley sat up, brows furrowing in confusion as Aziraphale began to ramble. "Angel... Are you... feeling alright?" He asked, sounding a bit concerned. "You're not making any sense." He sighed, leaning his elbows on his knees as he studied the other man.

Stranger: Aziraphale's lips pressed together as his face exploded in red even more. Why now, of all times, was Crowley not working with him and taking the lead? Could he not see the quite obvious 'help me' sign Aziraphale was sending. "I'm fine!" he let out. "It's just that - well, you weren't startled back then when I had called you my b-boyfriend, now, were you? T-that is, m-my point is, all the humans really see us as that!"

You: "And that..... Bothers you?" Crowley asked, playing dense. He knew it could be seen as cruel but he was just trying to protect himself... protect Aziraphale. If the Angel was wanting more what could he do? If Crowley told him he felt the same then they could pursue a more romantic relationship and Aziraphale would fall. Crowley would not allow that. However, if he refused then he would lose his one and only friend. He would lose Aziraphale... and while he had never wanted anything more than to be with the Angel he was not willing to destroy him to do it.

Stranger: "N-no! No, it doesn't bother me at all! Quite the opposite, my dear fellow!" Aziraphale let out and then tucked his hair behind his ear. "What I mean to say is..I do care for you dearly. And in a human sense of speaking, a lot more than just friends." he smiled shyly up at him. "That is to say, I-eh..I really would like it if you were my..w-well, my l-lover." he said finally, heart fluttering in his chest. "For real. I mean, I have been thinking it for quite some time."

You: Crowley's heart skipped a beat at the word, breath hitching slightly. He had never expected Aziraphale to put it quite like that. It was something straight out of a corny romance novel. It made it sound as if Crowley really had tempted him. Still, he couldn't allow it and the pain of that knowledge shattered his very core. He hesitated, silence falling between them as he searched desperately for something to say... anything that would bridge the impossible gap. "I..." He began before huffing and trying again. "I think... that I should go." He mumbled, averting his gaze as shame washed through him.

Stranger: A few moments of silence ticked by and Aziraphale was trying to convince himself that it was just Crowley being shocked. Astonished. Yeah, that's it. Definitely not searching for words. However, as he heard the other's words, his smile and face completely fell. "...C-crowley?" he let out, gulping. "Are you- what do you mean?"

You: The pain that filled him doubled with every word Aziraphale spoke. His tone was so anguished, so confused that it cut him to his very core. “I just…” He began, wanting to comfort the Angel… NEEDING it. But he caught himself, jaw tightening against the urge; grateful, not for the first time, that the dark lenses of his glasses hid the fact that he was so near breaking. “I need to go. Give you some space. Let you really think about this….” He explained, moving to stand.

Stranger: Aziraphale blinked at that and then frowned at the explanation. "O-oh, don't be ridiculous!" he huffed, a bit offended. "I have thought about this quite a lot! Oh, I did have my worries, but after the Armageddon, everything did fall quite softly into place." he said and then reached out to take his arms as he halted the other from standing up. "Crowley..what's wrong?"

You: "Nothing is wrong, angel." He reassured, moving to pull gently from the other's hold. "I just... Perhaps you haven't /really/ considered this... Perhaps /I/ hadn't." He offered, barely managing to keep from flinching at his own words. That was it. He was ruining his friendship... Aziraphale would never want to speak with him again.

Stranger: The angel gulped and then looked at him imploringly. "Well...talk to me, then? I mean. I am here. Let's-let's discuss this, then." he spoke, his heart hammering in his chest. "Because I really had considered this. And well, since you...haven't, I guess it's best we talk about this."

You: That look... Crowley hated when he gave him that look. The way it was practically pleading and rubbed him in all the right places. Aziraphale could get practically anything he wanted from the Demon when he looked at him like that. He grimaced, trying to fight the invisible hold the Angel had on his heart and failing. "I'm not sure what there is to talk about, angel." He tried, obviously attempting to side step the conversation.

Stranger: "W-well, tell me then! Do you not feel that way?" the angel pleaded. "If you..really feel for me just as a friend, I-I will understand." he said and then smiled weakly. "Oh dear, I do not mean to push anything on you!"

You: Crowley’s heart, as small as it was, could have broken in that moment with that look. How did Aziraphale have so much control over him? How did he effect him so? Of course he felt that way about him. Every fiber of his being had screamed for this moment every time they were within a hundred miles of each other. He honestly was surprised the Angel hadn’t felt it. What was he suppose to say? "Really, Aziraphale... I think it might be best..." He mumbled before hesitating, scrubbing a hand down his face in frustration. He couldn't answer. He just couldn't. "I'm sure you've had a long day and you should rest."

Stranger: "..Crowley." Aziraphale said, his voice stern this time as he looked at the demon with a resigned expression. "Just...just tell me. Don't make me wait, please. Going just by the way you feel right now, I'm sure you already have your answer." he spoke, his lips pressing together. "It's alright. Nothing will change, really. But I must know."

You: "What does it matter, Aziraphale?!" Crowley snapped, unable to keep his angry at himself in control. "Just by asking that question it /has/ changed." He pointed out. "Whether I do or not everything is ruined! I can't fix it!" He pushed to his feet, obviously annoyed though it wasn't at the Angel despite his tone. "I'm doomed either way."

Stranger: The angel hadn't been expecting that and he flinched, jumping a bit at Crowley's sudden outburst. His eyes widened as he looked up at the demon, unsure for a moment before speaking. "..Nothing really is, my dear. It isn't like I"ll be changing the way I act towards you, as I have loved you for quite some time now." he spoke calmly. "And as for you, I do not expect anything more than you've already given me. It is simple as that." he spoke and then looked up at him sadly. "There isn't anything to fix...what do you think is ruined?"

You: Crowley wanted to rip his hair out. Why did the Angel have to be so understanding?! So, neive! Crowley had loved him for so long… As long as he could remember but… He’d always kept his distance made sure Aziraphale didn’t get the wrong idea. He was so afraid of… Well, of causing the Angel to fall. He couldn’t let that happen. Heaven was far too important to his angel… He would never listen to him. “Do you hear yourself? You talking about falling in love with a Demon… A creature incapable of returning those feelings.” He lied. “Its just… so… /ignorant/.” The words made his hatred for himself worsen even now. How could he have ever even entertained the idea that he could ever be good enough for the Angel when he would stoop to this level?

Stranger: Aziraphale looked a bit hurt at that but also very sad. "..Don't talk like that." he let out then. "You're so much more. You're my dearest friend. Demons are not supposed to make friends, or care, or save angels, and yet here you are. Here we are. Didn't you say it yourself? We're on our own side." he said. "And I do not need for you to love me the same as I do you. I didn't fall in love with you just to have it returned." he said, smiling. "Oh, my dear, do not worry about me. My love for you really is pure. Not even God herself minds. And you really shouldn't either."

You: "What?" Crowley breathed, unable to stop himself as God's name was mentioned, catching his attention. He paused to collect his composure a moment before clarifying. "What do you mean 'Not even God, herself, minds'? When have you spoken to God?" He pressed, brows furrowing once more.

[another-sonic-blog]

The Dark Prince: Chapter Nine: A Confession

Its been a while since Sonic had seen Shadow.

He couldn't even say goodbye and he hated to admit it but...that hurts him.

It's not like they were official friends or anything but at least Sonic liked to think that he was.

Maybe it was all in Sonic's head and that friendship that he thought he had it was only...well one-sided.

Oh, he felt so betrayed, and not because Shadow liked Amy but because he didn't tell him. Meaning that Shadow didn't trust him, at least not like Sonic trusted Shadow.

And that pained him the most at the moment. He thought that will all of these years knowing him, Shadow had grown a soft spot for him as he did for him.

But it wasn't like that. Shadow didn't care about Sonic, and that was the truth about it.

Sonic had to admit that he even was jealous of how Shadow quickly made close friends like Omega and Rouge, who seemed to be the only friends Shadow has.

But not him, not Sonic.

Because seemly, saving him, been there for him, and showing clear signs of friendship, is not good enough for the dark hedgehog.

Once again, Sonic thought of himself as annoying and gave him his space. He was tired of never been able to call Shadow a friend because simply, the stripped hedgehog didn't seem him as one.

So, if they aren't friends that means that Sonic could keep the girl right? It didn't matter if Shadow liked Amy right? They weren't friends, nothing.

To hell with Shadow,

Sonic wanted Amy for him and him only.

"UHGGG!", Sonic slammed his head against the table top in front of him as his yellow friend approached him.

"Hey be careful...that's a very expensive table."

"Your concern is touching Tails," Sonic said sarcastically.

"Well, at least I am been honest with what I think." Tails walked behind the blue hedgehog, ready to work on his next project. Now that G.U.N. didn't exist anymore, there was more time for the two tail fox to work on the things he wanted to do.

"I am not thinking about anything at all."

"Well, that could only mean two things. One, you are a liar or two, you don't have a brain...I would like to think is the second option." Tails was quick to put on his welding mask as he was about to mold some metal.

"...It's about Shadow and Amy... I am not Shadow's friend, nor I am anything to him so...it's ok for me to continue to pursue Amy...right?" Sonic knew that he couldn't lie to Tails. His best friend could tell right from the beginning something was off about him.

"Look, Sonic...I worked with Shadow for some time on G.U.N...we weren't on the same department but everyone would call Shadow the 'Dark Prince...the reason was that Shadow may look gloomy and depressing but deep down, he helped everyone around him like a Prince."

"Ok? And you are telling me this because...?", Sonic wasn't one to play around analogies.

Tails then pulled up his welding mask up, facing up the blue blur.

"What I am trying to say is that Shadow is not one of words but actions...He might not say it but he appreciates you deeply."

"Then why doesn't he talk to me like he talks to Rouge and Omega? He respects them clearly, and doesn't insult them every chance he gets!"

"If he treated every single friend he has the same way then...it would be kinda weird don't you think? You treat me differently than you treat Knuckles, but that doesn't mean you wouldn't do anything for him that you wouldn't do for me, right? If he was in danger, you would go to help him in a heartbeat."

Sonic looked down to the table, unable to face Tails. He was right, Sonic treated Knuckles differently. Maybe even 'tease' him too much, but he appreciated the red echidna deeply.

Tails sighed ready to give out his last remark before going back to work.

"A friend is not the one you talk to every day...nor the one who tolerates everything you do... even after you left for a few years, I knew that whenever I needed you, you will be there for me...it's the same for Shadow...he expects for you to feel the same way."

.

.

.

So now, Sonic knew what he needed to do.

Break things off with Amy...if there was anything at all on the first place. He liked to think there was.

Don't misunderstand him, he loves Amy and would do anything for her.

But Shadow needed her more than he does.

It's what friends do right?

It's what he would do.

It's what he is going to do.

Sonic took a moment to go to his secret layer on the outsides of Hasvely to wrap things up there before he leaves to his new mission.

He took a moment to appreciate his old place. To be honest, the place was kinda depressing, he took a moment to look at all the newspapers surrounding the place.

Every one of them with pictures of the tragedy that occurred a few years ago.

Everyone who died during the battle with Eggman, members of the Resistance, innocent civilians, everyone who died because Sonic wasn't able to-

No stop...this wasn't the right time, not now not ever.

Sonic needed to learn to let go of the past.

Live and learn right?

Now that he thinks about it, he would probably still be here, drowning on his own misery if it wasn't for Amy and Shadow.

He picked up some old books he had. All of them with different colors, the red book had gold letters that said: "World Mysteries" written on it.

He went through the pages quickly and a paper came out within the book and fell directly to the floor, softly.

Sonic picked it up from the floor and began to read that letter with horrible handwriting...

.

.

.

His last stop was here, on the pink house he knew very well. It was a dark night but the moon and stars made it lovely. Amy's house seemed so cozy and warm that Sonic was just so ready to barge in.

But he didn't, at least not now.

He ran the doorbell and waited a few seconds, and then, there she was.

Messy hair, pajamas, she just looked perfect. The light from the inside made her pink hair glow and her green eyes shone with the reflection from the moon.

"Oh, Sonic? Do you want to come inside ?" Amy offered and he was really close to accepting the tempting offer.

But he denied.

"Actually, I am supposed to be leaving tonight... I'll be back in a month or so...I am just here to tell you something." Sonic confessed and he looked up to see Amy's disappointed face. He understood perfectly how she must feel... First Shadow and then him.

He only has one opportunity to make this count. He grabbed Amy by her hands and watched her blush. It was the first time they have talked about this and about what had happened when they kissed.

"I was always shy to tell you about my feelings. I wanted to tell you that all of those times I pushed you away, all of those time I told you that I didn't have feelings for you...They were a lie. It's weird for me to say but...ever since we first met when we were kids...I never had any other girl in my mind but you..."

Sonic closed the space between them. Slowly, he was closing his eyes...

"Amy.... it has always been you."

He wanted to kiss her but first, he needed to tell Amy the message that was on the letter he found earlier...

"I am not perfect, and I may have hurt you..." and so, Sonic began to recite the message.

When he finished, Amy was so deeply touched that she had tears in her eyes. A new outlook was presented and Amy's perspective had changed for the better.

For a moment, she could have sworn that it was Shadow the one saying those words.

For a moment, it wasn't Sonic the one in front of her porch confessing his love, but the Dark Prince himself.

But it wasn't that way. It was Sonic...it was just him.

And she had to admit...that his speech had deeply touched her heart.

Time passed slowly and Amy had nothing to do but say yes.

If Sonic wasn't so shy all of those past years could have been a blessing with Amy.

Only if hadn't been a coward with confronting his feelings, he wouldn't be on this mess.

If only he hadn't been so shy...

but tonight, he wasn't...

Today he was everything but a coward because what he was going to do was not for him...

but for a friend.

.

.

.

His night ended well, Amy had said yes and that was all he needed to be happy.

From afar, on top of a hill, he watched Amy's house light up, smoke coming out of the chimney as snow began to make its way down the area.

Sonic gave it one last look, reminding himself that he will see her again when spring comes. He finally took off to run, smiling as he had kept the promise to his dear friend.

Finally, running towards the moon, he recalls the letter Shadow wrote to him:

I hope you can read my horrible handwriting faker...I don't have much time so I'll make this as simple as possible.

Please deliver this message to Amy:

I am not perfect, and I may have hurt you. I know you love someone else but it doesn't matter if you do because even if it pains me to see you with him...I'll still love you. So, don't worry. I'll always be with you when you are happy and when you are sad... I just want you to know that... I love you.

Sonic, I am trusting you to use my words so you can confess your love to Amy.

and make her happy.

I want you to be with her, to protect her and love her and for her to love you back.

You are the only one I can entrust Amy's safety and happiness to. I just know I can count on you.

I hope you can do this last thing for me, friend Faker.

-Shadow.

.

.

.

.

. The Dark Prince: End

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.

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Next Chapter: https://another-sonic-blog.tumblr.com/post/185970218755/the-dark-prince-epilogue-not-the-dark-prince

https://another-sonic-blog.tumblr.com/post/185970218755/the-dark-prince-epilogue-not-the-dark-prince

Previous Chapter: https://another-sonic-blog.tumblr.com/post/185970029780/the-dark-prince-chapter-eight-thank-you

The Dark Prince: Chapter Eight: Thank You

A/N: So this is official ending for the Dark Prince. However of course, there's the Epilogue, which ShadAmy fans will love. I am working on it, but I promise it will be touching.

A Sonic based chapter, finally the situation between Amy and Sonic has settled for the better. Next Chapter, the last chapter.

I hope you are ready.

[theunwrittenones]

Prompt 1: by Roland Kris

You have lived your whole life with a bracelet of solid material on your wrist. Any attempt to remove it has been unsuccessful, but you have had it as long as you can remember. Today, it fell off.

The dark dull walls of the room made a stark contrast to the shimmering bracelet, laying between her naked feet. With every passing second it seemed to dim. A dying organism deprived of its life source.

Nyx stared at it for several moments, unmoving, waiting, expecting. Finally the bracelet died.

Something stirred within her. Propelled itself into being. Like a crushing tide swallowing her whole, consciousness arrived, pulling her back into the messy ocean that was existence.

Where the fuck am I? - is the constant mantra that runs like a freight train through her mind, shaking her to the core.

Time fractured and tender knees hit solid ground. Sharp Pain induced by cold metal suddenly became awareness. Lungs denied their service, sweat started running down her neck.

The world blurred to an unfocused photograph. Then suddenly, it was over. The moment had passed.

Reality snapped into presents and brought with it a clearness she never before experienced. She got to her feet once more, drinking in her surrounding anew. A smile, small as it might have been, tucked on the corners of her mouth.

He never was the coffee kinda guy. Made the teeth go yellow faster than you could’ve said DNA three times in a row. Not to mention the breath one cultivated after coffee. That and tea all around just tasted better. So there he was, Asher Hill, executive scientist of the human resource R&D Team. Brewing tea, escaping boredom, fighting the good fight.

Yeah, right. You had to tell that to yourself time and again. That’s how you made the lie stick. Like some of those poor sods, down in the coffins, who cut themselves constantly. At first, your skin may heal, but eventually your body will just say, meh, to hell with it. A grim thought, for grim business.

Lately it was harder for him to work on the projects his oh-so-beloved employer burdened him with. Oh well, you gotta do what you gotta do.

A single touch on the smooth glass screen, embedded in the workspace in front of him, was all it took to activate the complex mechanism that ran the entire facility.

He lifted his gaze from the screen and looked straight ahead. 21, 22, 23. A hologram appeared, showing off the pleasant face of a random generated female. Slender, with high cheekbones, big radiant eyes, unaffected of course, by the faker than fake smile that was playing on rose petal shaped lips. An epitome of lifelessness. The color composition was, as always, lost in translation. We may live in the future, but when the time came for progress, boy let me tell you, some dude decided that the best possible color for holograms should be blue and blue alone. Thanks Star Trek, I guess.

<Authorization required.>

“Asher Hill, intern verification: 0016, Human Resource.”

<Thank you Doctor Hill. Starting initiation. Please stand by.>

“Great. Can’t wait.”

<Detected change in voice tone and speech pattern.>

“Aren’t you special?”

<Sarcasm is the lowest form of Humor, Doctor Hill. It is advised to start the day with a positive mindset, so one may perform on the peak of one’s potential. Have a nice day.>

“Whoopdy fucking doo, same to you, Amarenthia.”

Several Monitors and Data-Tower-Blocks around his workspace sprang into action. The future was indeed breathtaking! Fucked up, but breathtaking.

Asher eyes found their way back to the screen embedded before him, and grew wide.

“Sweet mother of baby Jesus! Am!”

<Name abbreviation is the first step towards an unhealthy work relation, Doctor Hill. How may I assist?>

He felt compelled to say something but fought the urge.

“Why do I see three trillion error messages on my screen?!”

Eerie silence filled the room. It felt like a chasm had opened up in his stomach.

<Collecting data, insufficient resources.>

“Don’t you fucking <insufficient resources> me!”

Asher’s fingers flew over the digital key board. An audible thumb on the glass accompanied each figure or letter that was send to the digital abyss of his data screen. The power, according to the related time stamps, has been shut down for about three hours. Three hours! Almost everything could happen in three hours.

“Am. Open the shutters! I need to check something”

<Name abb->

“Wrong moment, Am. Open the shutters or I will unplug you, cut you down to size and load you onto my MP3 player, for god’s sake!”

<Order confirmed, also I am afraid that your multimedia device does not support my data format.>

“Thanks for your input Am, really makes my day, you know.”

Once the Windows were fully drawn up, the only thing that stared back at him was his own reflection, encased in utter and complete blackness. His eyes appeared shaded, and the glasses he wore blocked out all the detail.

The mere sight left Asher with an uneasy feeling.

“Put on the lights, please”

A sharp smack brought the main lights to life, flooding the rooms around Asher’s control station, showing him an outcome only his worst nightmares could have produced.

<Missing Data accumulated. Ready for report.>

“Don’t bother”

Defeated, Asher sank back into his seat.

[somnolenceses]

may 1 2022

cant describe it. maybe "foreign emotions" perhaps? if that makes sense

like i cant tell what these emotions are coming from. why do i feel like this? these emotions aren't me, and if they are they shouldn't be. i thought i would be feeling better with less stress on me but somehow i got way worse again. i don't get it at all, it's maddening.

why am i so sensitive? any sort of rejection has me spiral into some super negative thought even if it's minor and i don't get it. i can't stress the phrase enough. i've heard some say ohh it's a good thing but i don't see it that way. maybe it's that way in general with emotions. like it's okay to be sad or act out in this manner but i can't see it that way. no one ever in my life lets me be upset or gives me time for this. and that is a thing i can say wholeheartedly. it's not like a few individuals do, it very genuinely feels like NOBODY in this sad little life gives time for it. and if i express this, even less. so i don't see why i should be like that, atleast outwards. and i recover very fast, so even less.

maybe i do see why people become little sad sacks on the internet now. it's hard to understand the "14-17 year old who just watched serial experiments lain" types unless you get put in the mindset. those types are annoying, honestly, but i understand. it feels like "real life" outcasts you and makes you virtually nonexistent or too useless, but you can act as you want on the internet, so why remain connected with the real world? is that how the quote goes? i don't know. i didn't really like lain anyways lol.

it's just still very confounding. i know for a fact these emotions aren't mine. they aren't cq's nor [redacted]'s. the sensitivity? the ability to fuck everything up? the instability? these weren't, nor was ever me. it just begs the question of who the hell's feelings and mannerisms these are. this isn't like, a DID faker arc or whatever. it makes me just wonder who's body i am in sometimes. kinda. see, it's hard to explain. this sucks. just when i thought i was getting better from the first few months, it just keeps returning. i wish i could kill it

wow that was stupid. anyways if i still did for fun kinning i would be a really good mafuyu asahina kinnie. between the putting up a front (or rather, having to sometimes), good student, pressure to be 'normal' and do something successful, and the random vanishing and having a hard time trying to find who i am, and the "if i can't find myself, then i'll have to disappear" (implying suicide, now that i think abt it, but it goes both ways) in the unit story. or maybe mizuki. hmm, thats a hard choice. but i do genuinely resonate with mafuyu a lot it's kind of eerie. maybe it's just proves prsk did really good with writing the 25-ji, nightcode desu characters. yeah, that's what it is. good game. it's fun to play. marionette set cards solo. my favorite mafu cards are the marionette one and "thrown words." i forgot why i was writing now that i think about it. speaking of good games. card thief is also one. challenging but entertaining.

anyways stan 25ji. if you don't, whatever i don't care piss yourself its either this or band kid music

still fighting for the title of family disappointment. i think ill win. with the way im being (rightfully) criticized and put down everyday before being lectured right after being apologized to dont know how longer ill take it before i start seriously considering things.

sometimes i think there would be nothing better than completely vanishing because i contribute nothing to anybody ever in this life. running away would be nice in concept but awful in execution. so i wish something happens soon since ive already mentally prepared for it (well, only one scenario, by my own hand, but nonetheless.) it's like finally killing the final boss that's been plaguing the village or whatever. i dont know whats with me causing stress to the people who need it the least

ive realized ive been a horrible manipulative being this entire time because i keep pretending ive been wronged when i do nothing but cause active harm and me being dead would make things better actually. i used to be afraid of dying in my sleep randomly as a kid and no longer being able to think but now i think if i finally got pushed too far im not really attached to anything anymore anyways. its natural if i have already mentally prepared this i have also mentally prepared for total loneliness and thus this. nothing could really stop me if i finally complied and gave in. i can't imagine anyone being really sad over it, really. it's like the daughter of evil (vocaloid song) where they finally had enough and stood up to the evil princess and guillotined her. by the way that song fucks and it was one of my first vocaloid songs and im still fond of it

but also im lit rally a minor and i have a english project to complete tomorrow. and i'm really nowhere close to the breaking point so there is that. i need to be realistic by saying this im still being the awful person im aware of being

[savemefromanepicoftimewasted]

Across The World Dacre Montgomery X Reader

i kinda wrote this on a whim, so i’m not sure how good it is tbh be ready for some so much fluff you drown though!

He had called me earlier that day, promising me that he would at least be home for a few days before he had to go back on set and film a couple more episodes.  He promised me.

And yet, I was standing in the large kitchen by myself, a plate of food sitting in front of where I was.  The pork had gone cold already, not even cut into as I waited for him to walk inside the door.  When the clock struck eight, I knew he wasn't going to be home that night.  I picked up my plate and set it inside the microwave, I hadn't had an appetite whatsoever.  The thought of eating turned my stomach more than anything.  Putting on a pair of sweatpants and one of his shirts I crawled into the bed we shared.  I understood why he was gone so often, he was filming constantly and had to be almost across the country for at least four months.  Except it was going on seven, and I wanted nothing more than to hold him in my arms.  No phone calls, no texts, nothing from him.  They were all from Sadie, and Millie.  I tried not to let how I was feeling bleed into the texts, they had bigger things to worry about than me crying over my boyfriend.

I rubbed my eyes roughly and rolled onto my side, the clock ticked by quietly.  The hours flying by as I laid awake, waiting for him to arrive.  Except by four am there was nothing, he still wasn't home and I hadn't heard from anyone else.  They were probably all sleeping like normal people do, like I should've done hours ago.  I couldn't help but get my hopes up, he had been talking about this for weeks.  And it was another promise broken.  I knew I couldn't afford to live by myself if we were to break up, his rent cost more than my entire tuition at community college.  When the clock read five I gave up and relaxed into the sheets.  I couldn't cry over spilt milk any longer, it wasn't going to do me any good.

The sun was shining high in the sky when I woke up, I groaned and rolled over pulling the blanket above my head.  I hated getting up early when I hadn't slept well the night before, except something was stopping me.  It was the weight of something on the blanket that prevented me from pulling it over my head entirely.  I sat up roughly and looked over at my boyfriend who sleeping soundly, his hair a tousled mess as he groaned.  All I could feel was anger, angry that he hadn't even called to warn me he was going to be so late, or that he was even bothering to come home.  Pulling the blanket from my body I stood up, stomping into the bathroom before slamming the door shut.  Tears were streaming down my cheeks in small rivers.  You're okay, you don't need to cry over this.  The words were like a mantra in my head.

“Y/N?  Are you okay” Dacre's voice was quiet, sleep still heavy in his voice.

“Yeah, I'm fine” I wiped my eyes and walked over to the sink, quickly splashing some water on my face to hide the tears.

“Did I wake you? I didn't mean to” He yawned loudly and leaned against the closed door.  At least I could get some privacy.

“No, the sun woke me up” It was true, the sun was always shining in the damn window I faced.

“You coming back to bed, or am I making breakfast?” His voice sent shivers down my spine.  I wanted to yell at him and be angry.  But I couldn't.

“Bed” I looked up at myself and frowned, my eyes were red and puffy.  He was going to know something was wrong almost immediately.

“I'll see you there babe” Dacre's voice trailed off as he headed back to the bed.

I had to bite my tongue to keep the retort in, we always fought when he came home late.  Or didn't come home at all and didn't bother to call me. There were times Joe would call me to tell me that he had passed out in his trailer from exhaustion and that's why he didn't call.  How could I be mad at him then?  He was doing everything he could to work through this.  But right now was different, I wasn't hearing from him, and I wasn't seeing him for weeks, or even months at a time. When I opened the door Dacre was curled up under the sheet.  His breathing slow and deep.  He had fallen back asleep.  I frowned slightly and walked over to the bed, crawling in gently as to not wake him.  As much as I wanted to be angry with him for not calling, or telling me anything.  I couldn't be.  He was working so that him and I could have a comfortable life together.

It always made me feel bad, he refused to let me work.  Saying that if he ever had to travel for a show, or film that he was going to take me with.  Of course I wasn't allowed to go for stranger things, he said it was going to be a surprise when I saw how the season came out.  Although Millie and Sadie were determined to give me play by plays of the show.  Saying that they missed me and wished I had gone with Dacre to the sets.  I'd explain to them that it wasn't really my choice on the matter of staying home.  I smiled softly as I remembered how much Millie pouted during a face time call.  She was begging Dacre to let me come with, he just told her a stern no and walked off to pack.

I loved the cast, they treated me as if I was family.  And then there's Dacre, who made it his mission to piss me off in the best way possible.  I had once threatened that if he took his characters bad attitude home he'd be sleeping on the couch for a month.  That led to a dozen roses, and the best sex either of us ever had.

“Y'know, it's rude to stare when someone's sleeping” Dacre's eyes were bright as he smiled, I couldn't help but smile at him.

“I was daydreaming babe, don't get a swelled head” I laughed at the fake pout that crossed his face.  He was such a faker at times.

“I always have a swelled head around you” He leaned up on his arm and kissed my cheek gently.  Blush covered my cheeks.

“That's because you've been hanging around Joe too much” I said rubbing my fingers along the stubble on his cheeks.

“He does it for everyone babe” He threw his arm over my stomach and laid back down with a sigh.

“Mmm, I'm sure” I mumbled laying back on the bed.

It was nice, not having to be anywhere important for the day.  No interviews for Dacre to worry about for once.  I had planned on meeting up with Natalia and Millie but with the hopes of Dacre being home, I wanted nothing more than to relax.  And now he was finally here, in our bed where he belonged.

“I have one more thing to shoot before I can come home for a while” His voice was muffled by the pillow beneath his head, but I heard the words clear as day.

“How long is that gonna take?” I asked nervously, I couldn't go another two months without him.

“Should only be a week, two at tops” He curled himself into my side, gripping onto the shirt I wore.

“At least try and call when you're gone this time please” I ran my fingers slowly through his hair and smiled as he melted at the affection.

“You're coming with this time, Millie has been giving me absolute hell since I wouldn't let you come with last time” If his eyes had been opened, I was sure he would've rolled them in an annoyed manner.

“Oh really? Afraid she'll try and beat you up?” I couldn't help but giggle, he was afraid of a girl half his size.  To be fair though, she could be mean when she wanted to be.

“I am not, I just want you to be there with me this time” He cut himself off and sat up, looking at my face intently.

I opened my mouth to ask him what was up before his lips were on mine.  The kiss was so soft I would've thought I was imagining it.  His hands slid up to my cheeks as we slowly kissed, a smile gracing his perfect lips.

“Do you know how much I love you Y/N?” His words caught me off guard, sure we had told each other that we loved one another more times than I could ever count.  But it always gave me butterflies when he said it.

“I love you too Dacre” I held my hands over his and pulled them down into my lap.

“I'm sorry for not calling or texting.  Trust me you were always on my mind when we were filming, and I wanted nothing more than to text and see how you were doing.  But then it got hectic and we were shooting up to eighteen hours a day and by the time I got to my phone I'd pass out” I opened my mouth to tell him it was alright, but he held up a hand to stop me.

“Millie told me how upset you were when I didn't make it home yesterday, our flights were all delayed and by the time we were boarding I knew you'd of been in bed” I felt terrible, he wasn't ignoring me because he wanted to.

“Babe, it's fine” I squeezed his hands and frowned.

I didn't want to cry anymore, over something that sounded so silly after being brought out into the light.  It was exactly like crying over spilled milk, and now I looked like a fool for being upset that he didn't call me when he was busting his ass daily.

“Well, that's why I want you to come with, at least for the last bit of filming” His cheeks turned a light shade of pink, I couldn't help but raise my eyebrow.

“Something happen earlier in the season I should know about Mr Montgomery?” I wrapped my arms around his neck and crawled into his lap, our chests pressed flush together.

“I may or may not, have made an ass of myself multiple times” His hands gripped onto my hips, his eyes looking up at me.

“Oh babe” I laughed loudly, gripping onto him tighter at the thought.

“It'll be worth it in the end” His words were sincere.

“I know” I kissed his cheek and relaxed against him.

The rest of the morning was spent with chaste kisses and talks about how the filming had been so far.  Dacre and Joe had gotten into arguments everyday, which lead to them not being allowed on set together unless the scene called for it.  He told me how much his character had changed, although he didn't want to give too much away.  Stories of how the entire cast had gone out to dinner and luckily no one recognized them.  Millie had posted the photos online of everyone eating peacefully, making jokes at Finn and Joe's expense.  To be fair, they were all covered in sauce from their plates of food.  He had asked how things had been at home, I told him of the foster cat I had for a couple weeks.  

“Babe, you know why we can't have an animal” Dacre wasn't letting up on us getting any type of animal.

“But what about when you leave and I'm here all alone?” I pleaded, a cat could keep me company while he was busy shooting something very hush hush.

“Baby, I love you, I really do, but no” He pulled me closer, his fingers tracing circles into my skin.

“If you're gone for longer than two months again, I'm getting a cat” I was trying to be stern, but with the way he'd look at me, I couldn't help but deflate.

“If it comes down to it, I will let you get one cat” He stressed one, I wouldn't be that reckless.

“Thank you baby” I kissed his cheek and smiled wide.

At least next time he was across the world, I could have something to keep me company.