#I just had to get it off my chest
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I miss Phoebe's old personality so much... I miss how cute, clever, and brave she used to be. What the writers did to her in Frozen Empire was awful. I tried forcing myself to be happy about it because I was scared people would get mad at me if I criticized it (my anxiety was horrible at the time) but that only made me feel worse.
I'd rather not get into detail about my issues because I've already ranted about it to my friends in private. There's enough negativity in fandom spaces anyway. All I'll say is the whole Melody subplot upsets me the more I think about it and I believe that Phoebe was written wildly out of character compared to how she was in Afterlife. That's not even getting into how I think all the other characters were done dirty. I can't bring myself to rewatch FE at all.
For my own portrayal of the Afterlife cast in fanfictions and fanart, everything I do is going to be canon-divergent from now on. At least I can do something constructive with my ideas rather than sulk about how everything was ruined.
#blithering nonsense#mera talks GB#vent#crit#I just had to get it off my chest#if you like FE that's fine#but as far as I'm concerned they fumbled all the potential Afterlife set up#I am by no means a professional writer but I'd like to do a rewrite eventually#those characters mean a lot to me so I'd like to keep creating things with them#even if it's different from the new movies
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I hate how if you do art ppl will tell you to do something more valuable with your time. Dont get me wrong, they'll tell you your art looks so nice and stuff but then turn around right after like they didnt just say that and spout 'advice' at you. I hate how you have to prove the value in something to make it seem worthwhile. Like no Nisha, i dont do art because im good at it, i do it stay sane. I do it because it makes me happy. I do it because i stopped for a year and it was the most miserable year of my life. I dont care that it doesn't 'have value'. Shut up.
#esha rambles#art#what even decides the value of something?#does something that makes you happy not have value if its not making or going to make you money?#i hate this society that places so much value in time=productivity/money#what about happiness?? mental health???#ppl keep discussing declining mental health in society like its some big mystery#like idk have y'all ever thought maybe its the fact that everything we do has to have some kind of profit for it to have value?#i cant sit and think about life enough to find the beauty in it#every time i sit still all i feel is anxiety about life‚ the things happening in this world‚ whether I'll even get a job in the future#and thats not even scratching the surface#im feeling the anxiety crawling up right now as i sit and write this#and you know when i wasnt feeling this anxiety? WHEN I WAS PAINTING SMTH#im not even good at painting‚ i dont know enough about composition and color theory and hell about how the paint works#but GOD it gives me peace#i feel peaceful when im painting flowers#even if they look a bit weird and flawed‚ those are the only flaws in something of mine that i dont mind#i hate that people are alwas trying to take that away from me#i hate that i let them once#the tags are a bit big im sorryyyy#i just had to get it off my chest
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Look this will be personal.
I was making a moodboard for Mor and i always look that my moodboard have some character means in Mor's case, I didn't just want to take 9 pictures of blonde women in a red dress.
While searching for pictures on Pinterest i was thinking about the fact that Mor is still in the closet or better why is she still in the closet?
So my family lives in Germany, i was born in Germany but my cultural background is kurdish/turkish. My family is mostly western-oriented, but you can see traditional, sometimes conservative values shining through every now and then.
And being part of the Lgbtq community is sadly on of these aspects where my family is conservative, espacially my own mother.
So without going to much into details, basically circumstances kind of forced me to out myself to my mother because I was just so emotional in that moment, it went really bad and somehow we agreed not to bring up this topic anymore. So basically i am still in the closet.
So yeah being Bi and kurdish/turkish ist not a great combination when it comes to being open about my sexuality.
Which brings me to Mor.
If I were in an environment like Mor, knowing i have a family that would support me 100% and living in a city of dreams i would be so fucking confident in my sexuality.
Personally i just don't understand why Mor didn't out herself as bi with a preference for women (or lesbian)
That she didn’t out herself while living in Hewn City, 100% understandable that would be a death sentence but now? After 500 years and being with a family and having friedns that absolutly love her, i just doesn't understand why Mor would make herself suffer when it comes to her sexuality when she doesn't have to.
My simplest explanation is that SJM didn't think this through properly.
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It’s so hard being on the Fairy Tail subreddit… it’s nothing but incels and pervs who always sexualize the girls and just post weird shit in general. It’s all just shallow talk about them which sucks because there’s so much more to the story and to the characters than just fan service.
And if it isn’t that, it’s always negative criticism of the anime/manga, which is totally okay to do with any series, but when it’s so constant and 24/7 in a place where we are supposed to come together and talk about how much we love the series (most of the time of course, again criticism is okay and valid in all genres of media) it just becomes such a negative environment you know?
Despite this though there have been some pretty cool people I’ve had the pleasure of talking to on there, but unfortunately they are overshadowed by the rest of the toxic sub. Sometimes I wonder if I should leave, but it lowkey feels like betrayal to FT if I do (T ^ T)
#so disheartening to see such surface level discussions#when we could be talking about so many other strong points that dont involve sexualizing them#sorry for the rant#I just had to get it off my chest#fairy tail#Reddit#f.f.f rants#fairy tail subreddit
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What if Shuri is bound to Talokan?
What if, by Talokanil law, a surface dweller may be allowed a safe and welcome passage to Talokan via a gift?
That BRACELET is getting her and me in a jam.
#3am thoughts#thats why im not making it make sense today#i just had to get it off my chest#do what u want with this information#persephone and hades#yes#namor x shuri#nashuri#namuri
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I know it’s mostly that time of the month talking (today at least), but I’m so so so so tired of being on the verge of tears lately. Having to sit at my desk at work and try not to cry and act normal, so I can then go home and either continue to hold back tears or cry myself to sleep, whatever my body decides to do that night. It’s exhausting. And I don’t even really have a right to feel this way. I’m just so tired and everything is happening so much and I’m just kind of over it.
I’m over feeling numb, and useless, and lonely. I wish I could feel happy about literally anything. I’m tired of just existing.
#anyways this is just me whining and feeling sorry for myself#please don’t mind me#i’ll be fine#I just had to get it off my chest
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no because being a good writer doesn't give you the right to get a big head and be rude af. i had to unfollow them bc despite liking some of their work, i can't enjoy it anymore bc their attitude left a bad taste in my mouth. (also they had some borderline offensive fics but i was never going to comment on those, i just ignored it and moved on like a normal person lol)
i get that you can be in a bad mood and pick on certain words sometimes bc you feel like everyone is attacking you, but to keep trying to make the other person seem unintelligent, or not "woke" or whatever the fuck they were implying, and it had been happening over a month now, like it's clear that they're just an asshole. to the point that i couldn't stand seeing them on my feed anymore. nah, fuck that shit, just bc you're a terrible person (or at least present yourself as one), no matter how good your work is, you lost me.
so yeah, i guess i'm just tired of people pretending that they know everything and want to be treated like celebs. goodbye
#keep your toxic energy to yourself#not everyone who sends you asks tries to manipulate you#like it genuinely pisses me off how they pick on certain words and draw a whole another narrative#when it's clear that there was no hate in the original ask#or judging other fic writers or fic readers for their preferences#just shut the fuck up#i just had to get it off my chest#i've noticed this a while ago and decided to be quiet but i saw them being rude today again#and i just had to unfollow and ramble to you
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I've been cautious of writing anything like this on my main social media accounts because, frankly, I don't want to scare anyone off slowly coming into the fold (as it were).
But I am sort of starting to lose my patience.
I don't know what conversations people are having with their families or friends, or with their colleagues. I don't know if they are writing to their representatives or quietly raising money. There's no way for me to know that, and all I can hope and assume is that maybe they are doing some of these things. Because not seeing enough people saying or doing anything on their social media is making me sad. Which seems sort of silly? Yes, this is where I post the most about what is going on. Yes, this is where I learn news and share news and virtually hug some of my comrades in solidarity. But a lot of people don't use it that way! And that is fine!
Except it sort of isn't right now.
Just... If you can go on and do nothing while the whole world is shouting genocide, then when are you ever going to stand up?
[see tags]
#not about tumblr at all#i don't think of tumblr the same way tbh#this is basically entirely about instagram#which makes me feel even weirder about it#but this is the world we live in!!!#i still probably won't say anything there#but wow am i seeing some people in a whole new sad light#also this is a total stream of consciousness#i just had to get it off my chest#i'm sort of getting this out so i don't talk about it On Main#Main being instagram and - apparently now sigh - bluesky
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The fact I’ve had to archive (i.e. remove from my active tracker because they’ve clearly been dropped and/or fallen by the wayside) a total of 110 threads this year, by the end of March alone, is so demotivating af.
For context, that’s 53% of the total threads I’ve written this year alone. A majority just clearly aren’t up to scratch. Honestly... it’s becoming ever harder to feel motivated to do drafts when I have this voice at the back of my head telling me it’s more likely for a thread to fail than go the distance. It’s also why I’m more and more eking towards an indefinite hiatus, or just restarting and going uber selective.
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so ummm.
what if i signed up for a new ba degree course?😶 it's kind of eating me alive bc i'm not really enjoying my masters and i still have no idea what the fuck am i even doing there and if i'll even finish it. but on the other hand when i think about having to go through recruitment process again and then about having to start completely new with new people again i feel a little sick. there's still no guarantee that i'll even get in but. but what if i do. and today is the last day to sign up. and i don't feel like i've thought it through enough which was my mistake with the masters and i don't want to do the same dumb thing again 🙃
but on the other other hand, 3 years will pass anyway and i might at least try doing smth about this? idk IDK!!!!!
#and just. you know i don't want to try again and then realise AGAIN that it ain't it.#but this ba actually might be fun like yeah my uni is kind of shitty and i am very sick and tired of it#but this degree is very tempting#arrghhh idk!!!#it's not a summer's vacation with me if i don't have at least one existential crisis about what i'm doing with my life huh#why couldn't i have a Dream Job that i want to pursue since childhood. it would make my life sooo much easier#instead here i'm with 1000 interests and no real goal 💀 telling myself i just have to find the right thing 💀#OKAY ANYWAY enough of this alsjhsjjxhxjskc#i just had to get it off my chest#i might delete this later#agnes talking
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You don't have to ship Shadow/Rouge, but the tendency I've seen from people who don't ship them to sisterzone—or objectively worse, motherzone—her just makes my skin crawl.
Women aren't either girlfriends or mothers/sisters. Believe it or not, women are people. Women contain multitudes. Women can be friends with men without being their mother or sister. It's totally a thing that happens every single day.
Rouge does not have a nurturing or motherly bone in her body. That is not who she is. And I don't know what your relationship with your sister is like, but considering Rouge has on occasion flirted with Shadow and that her bio in 06 says she may have feelings for him (as well as Knuckles), I'd say that her behavior toward Shadow is pretty far from sisterly as well.
Again, you don't have to ship it. But saying she's his sister is just not on. And saying she's like his mother is just flat out wrong. Just say they're friends! Colleagues! Workplace proximity associates! People aren't automatically family just because they aren't hooking up! That is not how any of this works.
#sorry i've just seen this one too many times and had to say smth#normally i don't make posts abt things in fandom like this bc i think that#vaguing is immature and petty but#i just had to get it off my chest#Rouge?? a mom??? what the af#also it's funny Rouge is designated Shadow's mom but Omega's not his dad#hmmm wonder why that is (it's the sexism)
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I don’t like galvatron's design, not because hes purple or whatever but for those four red buttons on his torso looks like the danish flag and it’s driving me insane
#i just had to get it off my chest#how am i supposed to take him seriously when he got that?!?! im sorry but all i can see is those danish cookie jars#speaking into the void#im kinda sleep deprived rn lmao#transformers#maccadam#hella gay#oh yeah i mean g1 galvatron btw
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Top ten reasons why I don't post a lot of my own Zelda au stuff. It either gets confused for LU or I'll straight up get bashed about my own au by LU fans. Like dam.
You can read about that here if ya like.
I've also strayed from drawing LU stuff in general, besides the occasional silly video, cause I know if I do it too often everything I post will be tagged as LU. Even when I do specify in the post or tags that what I drew wasn't LU it still gets tagged like it is.
Watch this. Y'all are gonna push me too far and instead of the LU designs, then I'm just gonna use their official in game designs and stop tagging LU in any of those silly videos. Maybe not though. 'Cause even if I put their in game models in the same room, y'all are still gonna tag it as LU when there's no indication that it is.
I did have an idea and designs for my own Link meets other Links au at some point. But I got so afraid of it being confused for LU that I never really shared a whole lot of it. But I have shown my Spirit Tracks and Skyward Sword designs before. But everything kept getting tagged at LU so I dwindled down on Spirit tracks a little and Skyward Sword a LOT.
Another thing is that LU uses the most common, memorable nicknames for the Links because each one is "The hero of " so if I used the same nickname then surely it's LU when it gets tagged.
LU fans are welcome on my blog and I have nothing against them, but could u guys please stop doing this... Its been years... My bones are getting squishy...
Its really hard to explain why it bothers me and so many other artists so much, but to give it a try: Imagine you baked a delicious cake to a potluck and everyone kept complimenting your neighbor Janice for the cake and you're too nervous to correct it cause Janice is the host. Please.... Please I can bake too... Pwease pweasep papa let me ba ke
#lmao that would probably mean I stop drawing Lu Moth#BUT I WILL TO CUT DOWN ON LU#I got tired of the LU tags and people assuming my stuff is LU related#an au of an au#Dam I still REALLY need to solidify that while yes#I do draw my Spirit Tracks Link interacting with the LU Links occasionally#He was NOT made with LU in mind at all.#art#the legend of zelda#zelda#lmao I'm sorry if you read all of that#I just had to get it off my chest#but I didn't really know if other people would be on board#or even understand#zelda au
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Despite everything, I’ll always believe in the saying “it’s darkest before the dawn”. I hope and pray that the dawn comes soon. 💖
#arwen speaks#free palestine#I’m sorry if I made anyone worried earlier#I just had to get it off my chest#I’m doing ok
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Holidays at Home
When visiting the house I grew up in
A pang of old fear strikes through me
So much time to fill
So little time left before I leave again
A passenger in a place I used to drive through
My friends are growing older, as am I
They’re buying a house now
He’s staying with his girlfriend this week
Our time together shrinks every year
And here I am
Alone again
Left to grasp at the scraps we left behind
Like a child scrambling for their parents’ hand
Good memories hurt just as much as the bad ones lately
A year sober
Feels like a year lived one minute at a time
So much to be proud of
And no one to celebrate it with
✧ Tiger
#writing#blog#snippet#poetry#im not actually that sad#i just had to get it off my chest#being an adult
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Man I thank God that my horse is tolerable and chill. Having a bad day choking on tears because I’m in so much pain, can hardly walk, but I still gotta take care of him you know? So I sit down while cleaning his feet and legs. And he stands still so that I can do what I need to do while also giving my knees a break. It’s not safe to do that, every horse person will tell you that, but he lets me.
And when I finally decided to ride, he stood still at the mounting block, allowing me to slide on bareback, despite my struggle through the pain. And he walked in the arena that he doesn’t like, because I didn’t have the energy to take him on a trail. And he walked calmly. I dunno, maybe he could tell that I wasn’t at my best, but he worked with me anyways. I don’t know if anyone will see this but I just had to share this somewhere.
(He got lots of treats today)
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