#I just can’t imagine a world without them
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He Only Dated You For Your Sister
Gojo X Fem!Reader
You always thought love would save you. That it would sweep in and make everything hurt less—less lonely, less empty, less… you. And for a while, with Satoru Gojo, it felt like it had.
He wasn’t just charming; he was magnetic. His presence filled every space, his laughter echoing louder than anyone else’s. He made you feel seen, plucking you out of the background you’d been relegated to your whole life. He chose you, or at least that’s what you told yourself.
But the truth is, he never chose you.
You see it now, in hindsight, with a clarity that cuts like broken glass. The signs were always there, but you ignored them because you wanted to believe in the illusion. You wanted to believe that, for once, you were enough.
The final blow came the night it all unraveled.
You had planned a quiet evening—dinner at home, candles flickering on the table, the kind of intimate moment you craved but rarely got. He arrived late, as always, with a lopsided grin that didn’t quite reach his eyes. You tried to ignore the ache in your chest when he barely glanced at the effort you’d put into everything.
Halfway through the meal, your sister’s name slipped into the conversation. Again.
“She’s doing amazing, isn’t she?” he said, his tone laced with admiration. “I mean, she could do anything she wanted.”
You froze, your fork hovering mid-air. It wasn’t the first time he’d talked about her, but tonight, something snapped.
“Satoru,” you said, your voice steady despite the storm brewing inside you. “Do you even realize how often you bring her up?”
His expression faltered, surprise flashing across his face. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about the fact that I can’t go a single day without hearing you talk about her,” you said, your voice rising despite yourself. “I’m talking about the way you look at her. The way you… God, the way you light up around her.”
He blinked, leaning back in his chair, his usual confidence suddenly absent. “You’re imagining things,” he said softly, but the guilt in his eyes betrayed him.
“No,” you shot back, standing now, your heart racing. “I’m not. Don’t you dare lie to me. Not anymore.”
The silence that followed was unbearable. You could feel your hands shaking, your breath coming in shallow gasps. And then, in a voice so quiet it was barely audible, he said the words you’d been dreading.
“I didn’t mean for it to happen.”
The room tilted. Your world tilted. You gripped the back of your chair to steady yourself. “What didn’t you mean, Satoru?”
He didn’t answer immediately, and that pause—that damned, suffocating pause—told you everything. Finally, he sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I care about you,” he said. “I do. But…”
“But it’s her,” you finished for him, your voice breaking.
The look on his face was answer enough.
For a moment, neither of you moved. The weight of his betrayal pressed down on you, making it hard to breathe. You had known, deep down, for so long. But hearing it—seeing it—was something else entirely.
You grabbed your coat, your vision blurry with tears, and headed for the door.
“Wait,” he called, his voice laced with desperation. “Don’t go. Please. We can fix this.”
You turned, your hand gripping the doorknob so tightly it hurt. “Fix what, Satoru? The fact that I was never enough for you? The fact that you used me to get closer to her?”
He flinched, the weight of your words hitting him like a slap.
“You don’t love me,” you said, your voice trembling but firm. “You never did. And I won’t stay where I’m not wanted.”
And with that, you walked out.
---
The night air was freezing, but you didn’t feel it. You walked aimlessly, your chest hollow, your tears blending with the light drizzle that had started to fall. You thought breaking up with him would bring some kind of closure, some kind of relief.
But all you felt was loss.
Loss for the person you thought he was. Loss for the love you thought you had. And most of all, loss for the part of you that still wanted him, even now.
When you got home, your phone buzzed relentlessly—texts from him, voicemails pleading for another chance. But you knew there was nothing left to salvage. He had never truly been yours to begin with.
You deleted the messages, one by one, until your phone was silent.
And in the quiet, you made a promise to yourself: you would heal. Not for him. Not for anyone else. For you.
#jjk x reader#jjk#jjk angst#angst#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#jjk gojo#jjk satoru#satoru gojo x reader
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1. When people say go watch porn they mean “Hey you people literally don’t like Stellar Blade for any reason other than she’s sexy. You also demand every other woman in fiction be sexy too. You can just watch porn then” Like if you need every Stellar Blade outfit to be extremely scantily clad and get mad when a single one of them was briefly changed but only the one, while the others are still scantily clad and the new one is also scantily clad, then yeah just look at the porn people have made of her.
2. One of the characters you used here is literally mentally and physically six years old and is called a child in the show itself, what the fuck are you talking about? That is not a “petite woman” that’s a character who is literally a child and would tell you she’s a child if you asked her, and who’s caretakers would be horrified if you tried to have sex with her. The witch looks like a character i’d draw if I was drawing a child character. Like i’d genuinely be shocked if anyone reading a comic I made with this character didn’t just assume she was a child. I don’t know how you don’t see it too. Like I can’t imagine drawing this without my intent being to draw a child. I can’t imagine seeing an adult woman put in the world who look like this character, only a little girl.
3. Baldurs gate advertised itself with a hot naked woman who was fully pussy out, and people celebrated that game for it. Genshin Impact is full of hot girl characters people simp over. MHA is also full of those too. Straight women existing and liking sexy men but not sexy women is not a double standard. Corporately approved safe horny pandering is not a sign that society rejects finding women hot now. No one was upset about Stellar Blade the article you’re mad about amounted to “Eve is fucking boring and mid, Bayonetta is better” not “Ew she has the bobs I am offended reeeeee” they literally put out an article later sexualizing her describing their favorite Eve outfits. Which kind of destroys your point about how gaming journalists only do this for male characters.
The double moralists in social media be like
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"The truth - Part 1." Daryl Dixon imagine.
(Not my gif! But thanks to the amazing people who make them)
For the first time in his life, Daryl tells Carol the story of how you two met.
A/N: This got longer than I thought hehehe that’s why I’m dividing it in two parts. Thank you so much for all the love my last imagine received! I still can’t believe it. That’s why I thought of combining the stories a bit, and showing you how I imagine Daryl and (Y/N) met, just because I’m crazy and I even thought about making it a serie hahahaha but here you’ll see a bit of how they broke up and in the second part, how they got back together and then later had Marley. Only on this occasion (I’ll try not to do it often) I used the pronoun she and her, but you can read it however you like. Thanks in advance!
“Rick told me that Spencer invited (Y/N) to his house for dinner. He’s been really insistent on them getting to know each other more since we got here.”
For him, it is as if Carol’s words are a sharp razor that cuts his breath away, that makes the world, his world to stop completely, leaving a great void where silence lies and reigns, without the constant grunts of the walkers on the other side of Alexandria's gates, without the singing of the birds that nest in the tree just outside the window of the home they share, without being able to hear the sound of his own breathing that seems to stop too just like the beating of his weak heart.
Because it was Daryl who told (Y/N) he couldn’t be with her, so he wanted to believe that after that, she managed to extinguish every feeling she once had for him, as well as the light of their love that once shone and the one that was turn off when he left her, which trapped them in the shadows of a cold hurricane and an endless night, always so close but never together, running in circles far from each other without knowing where they were going, drifting like a lost ship in the ocean and in a complete darkness.
But that’s bullshit, Daryl knows it, because she had been the only woman Daryl Dixon was capable of loving, and she is the only woman he would love for the rest of his life.
“Um…” He swings the knife against his finger, sinking it in a little harder than necessary, but not able to ask more.
The night melts into his deathly silence, but, sitting beside him on the wooden step outside their house, Carol lets out a long sigh.
“What do you want, Daryl? Do you really want to see her with someone else?”
Daryl’s chest feels hot, boiling, like the result of a high fever, like he’s been running for hours without stopping to catch a breath.
“I jus' want 'er to be happy.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it.” Carol shakes her head, incredulous, but she has a magical way of telling the truth and still sounding sweet. “She loves you, you, and I know she’ll only be happy with you, even if you’re the surliest man I’ve ever met.”
Daryl doesn’t say anything, unable to look her in the eyes as he continues to stare at the grass, hiding behind his hair the eyes of a man who would give his life for the person he loves, but who is too cowardly to stop listening to the voices in his head that tormented him every night, that kept telling him that he would never be worthy of her love, that he would never be the man capable of being loved.
But Carol knows him, and she knows that he is beginning to drown, so, with a warm smile, she speaks again.
“How did you meet her by the way? I don’t think you ever told me that story.”
Softly, because he wasn’t used to doing it often, Daryl smiles at the memory, and his ocean-blue eyes light up and fill with life, and for a moment, he is able to lift his head and look at the moon shining above them.
“We were still pretty young. One night, Merle kicked me out of the ugly apartment we shared during one of his meetings with some drug dealers, so with nothin' to do, I went to a bar to kill some time. It was a shitty place, so I was surprised when she sat at the bar too, just a few feet away from me.”
“What was she like?”
“As beautiful as she is now.”
Carol can hear the smile in his deep voice, as warm as the thought of (Y/N).
“And what were you like?”
“A motherfucker with nothin' to offer 'er.” There’s no emotion in his voice, but before Carol can give him a telling off, Daryl speaks again. “But she looked at me like she could see somethin' in me, somethin' I didn’t even know existed. She talked to me first, and asked if the bike outside was mine. I told 'er that it was, and she, with 'er eyes full of life, told me that 'er older brother used to have one just like that. I laughed a little because she shouldn't be there, she didn't belong in a place like that, and when I asked her, she chuckled, a warm sound, like she was full of colors in that shitty world…”
Daryl chuckles, and for the first time in the long night, he is able to look at Carol, only to confirm with his gaze everything he still could sense about (Y/N) at that moment. Carol can see his smile this time, slight but unmistakable.
“And what happened next?”
“She told me she was runnin' away, that 'er father was goin' to marry her off to some dude of a wealthy family that would get 'em out of the debt that bastard got himself into in the first place. She was goin' to be sold, like a thing, by 'er own fuckin' father.” Carol can hear the venom in his voice, the hatred, the spite in the memory of his own father before he abandoned them. “I asked 'er if she had a place to go, and she said no. I don’t know what went through ma mind when I told 'er ma couch was available, I don’t know what went through 'er mind when she said okay n' thank you. That night when we got back to ma place, Merle told 'er she didn’t look like some hooker he used to bring home. And (Y/N), without any fear, walked up to him and pulled out the gun she had stolen from 'er father, then pressed it against ma brother’s chin, askin' him to repeat what he had just said. Merle loved 'er after that, and I didn’t even know that asshole was capable of lovin' someone.”
Carol laughs.
“I didn’t think I could love (Y/N) more, but now I kinda do.”
Daryl chuckles too.
“Yeah, I kind of did too. I even thought, I have to marry this woman.”
“And you wanted to? Marry her, I mean.”
For a few seconds, Daryl thinks deeply about whether sharing one of his many secrets is the right thing to do, whether saying those words out loud would change the course of things, but at that moment, he considers that saying them is appropriate.
“I bought a ring a year after we got together. It took me a while to get the money, but I finally did it.” Daryl is relieved that she can’t feel the heat on his cheeks, the blush of a boy who fell in love long before he knew what the hell love was.
“And how did you two get together in the first place?”
Daryl shrugs, smiling slightly at her like a little boy: and thankfully, he’d stopped pressing the knife against his finger.
“I don’t even know myself. I guess it started a little after the dinner she made us the next day. I told 'er she could stay as long as she needed to get 'er life together, and Merle asked her to stay if she made him dinner. She was about to shoot him when he told 'er that our mom had never made us such a delicious dinner…” Daryl chuckles, just a little humorous, because the funny memory is mixed with the sad one. “We jus'… at first it was purely carnal, we would have sex to release stress, we would do it and then I would leave ma room that was hers at the time, but there was always somethin' sweet about 'er, I could feel it in the way we kissed, in the way 'er body shuddered as I touched 'er soft skin, in the way she pulled me against 'er body durin'…” Daryl looks back into Carol’s eyes after realizing that he was dreaming out loud, but Carol is there, smiling at him. “There was one night, where I jokingly told 'er that I was enjoyin' this thing of makin' love every night so much that we should consider doin' it durin' the day too, and she jus' looked at me with a confused expression, but with a slight smile on those lips that I was dyin' to kiss in the mornings and at all hours, and she told me that was the first time that I didn't say we had sex.”
Carol smiles, quickly understanding what came next.
“You were falling in love with her.”
Daryl nods softly.
“I was completely devoted to that woman from the moment I met 'er.”
“And you told her?”
Daryl shakes his head.
“Not with words, I ain't good with words, never was. But she knew, I think that’s why she stayed with me all that time.”
“She stayed with you because you’re a good man, Daryl, you always were and you always will be.”
Daryl shrugs, this time in a gesture that dismissed such an affirmation.
“I never told 'er I loved 'er, and she never asked me to tell 'er, but I could feel that she loved me in every kiss, in every hug, in every blessed smile of hers.”
“And how did you two split up when the end of the world began?”
“She got a job shortly after I invited 'er to ma house. She was a vet, and even though she had little experience, 'er boss trusted 'er n' gave 'er a job. That night when people started runnin' and shootin', I went to look for 'er but she wasn’t there. Her boss had been bitten n' I even thought she had been too, but somethin' in me told me that she was stronger, smarter and that she had managed to escape. When Merle and I left town, I never stopped lookin' for 'er: I knew she was alive, and I jus' had to find ma way back to 'er.”
“And you found her after all.”
“Yes, I did, but when we got to the prison, somethin' in me kept tellin' me that I wasn’t enough for 'er, that even if I took care of 'er, she deserved better. That night I told 'er that I couldn’t be with 'er, not in the way she would have wanted. But the way she looked at me, as calm as she had always been… I’ll never forget the way she nodded and walked away…”
Unconsciously, Daryl presses the tip of the knife against his hand again, so imperceptibly that neither he nor Carol notice.
“But you couldn’t stay away from her.”
Daryl chuckles again, embarrassed with himself at the memory of Carol almost catching them in the act.
“Hell no, I had missed 'er body so much. But it was like goin' back to the beginnin’. We had sex when everyone else went to sleep, but I knew it was jus' that: sex. I knew it the moment she wouldn’t let me kiss 'er, the way she hid 'er face in my neck, holding onto my shoulders. So I jus' held 'er against me, huggin' her for as long as she lemme until we were done and she asked me to leave. It was like that all this time. I always have 'er close, but never close enough.”
Carol nods.
“That’s why you stayed here, even though you never really adjusted to this life.”
Daryl frowns, going deeper into his own thoughts.
“I always spent most of ma life in the woods, runnin' away from ma father n' mother, and when they left, I did it to escape from myself. But when she came into ma life, Merle used to tease me and tell me that I had been tamed, that after every job I had, I always came home jus' because she was there. When we came to this place, I considered livin' on the outskirts like I always liked, but I… I can’t be away from 'er.”
Carol’s expression turns into pure sadness, because she knows that Daryl is a good man, strong, loyal to his family, willing to die for one of them without a second’s hesitation, so the insecurities he kept secret were like a knife in his heart and hers. But when she sees (Y/N) from afar coming home after her job at the infirmary, Carol knows that everything comes down to that moment, as if there was no way to escape that decision that Daryl must make, which is now or never.
(Y/N) is still a little far away, so she takes advantage of the moment.
“You are the best man I have ever known, Daryl Dixon, and you deserve all the love you can ever get: from me, from our family, and from her.” Carol steps closer to him, hoping her words are as honest as she intends them to sound, and for a moment, they manage to draw Daryl’s gaze into hers. “I’ll ask you one question only. Do you love her? Do you really, truly love her?”
Daryl holds her gaze, but despite his terror, he manages to find the words he’s been dying to say to her. And when he speaks, his voice is low, husky, but self-assured.
“I do. I love 'er.”
“Then tell her, Pookie.” Carol kisses his temple, smiling at him with all the love she has for him. “I guess you still have the ring. So take her to someplace she likes, tell her the things you always wanted to tell her but were always afraid to say, and ask her to marry you.”
Daryl looks at her silently, with the expression of a scared child.
“What if she says no?”
“She will say yes. I promise. But you have to do it now, Daryl, before she loses hope with you.”
Without saying another word, Carol gets up and goes into the house, leaving him alone, so Daryl can silently contemplate his life, the choices he made, and the love for her that he kept deep in his wounded, frightened heart. But there's something about Daryl that drives him to stop always keeping to himself like he always did, to stop staying on the sidelines, to stop being that man tortured by his own thoughts, to stop loving her silently from the shadows, always behind her to protect her from everything, just so that, in that moment, he would be the brave man she always saw in him.
When (Y/N) arrives at their house, she smiles at him slightly before walking past him, but stopping, just like her heart, when she hears him call her by that funny and almost ridiculous nickname, but with his voice full of love.
“Peach?”
Her hand stops on the doorknob.
“Yes?”
For a small, fleeting moment, Daryl forgets how to speak, as if she were able to snatch all the words from him.
“Are ya doin' somethin' tonight?”
She frowns slightly, and although he hasn’t turned to look at her, she looks at him strangely.
“I don’t think so… going to sleep I guess, why?”
Daryl swallows the lump that forms in his throat.
“I thought that… maybe I could take ya somewhere, but we would have to leave before the sun comes up.”
Her heart is beating fast, an involuntary movement, because it’s been a while since they’ve been truly alone. It's a scary feeling, but deep down, she knows that everything is okay as long as they are together, even though they weren't together.
“Okay.”
There’s a certain playfulness in her voice, masked behind her confusion, but Daryl can sense it.
“I’ll knock on yer door when it’s time to go.”
She nods.
“I’ll see you in a couple of hours then.”
“G'night, peach.”
She laughs softly, but it’s the same lively sound he heard when they first met, and that, somehow, is like a good omen for him.
“You too.” But she pauses, thinking deeply if her next words will make any change in him. She is afraid, she is so afraid of feeling close to him again, but the fear of losing him at some point is bigger than anything, but not by some walker, because he was smarter than that, but perhaps by himself, because Daryl's worst enemy was his own conscience. “Daryl?”
“Yeah?”
Her heart beats differently, but she can’t hold her words prisoner anymore.
“You promised me you wouldn’t do it anymore.”
He knows it without her saying it, because after so many years, she knows him well, better than anyone, and Daryl can feel his own shame blossoming inside him.
“M'sorry.”
There’s a deep emptiness in his words, and she can’t help but feel that weight on her shoulders too. So, silently, she sits beside him for a moment, admiring the beauty of the moon that, despite that new world, hadn’t changed thankfully.
(Y/N) reaches out her hand to him, the hand he hurt, and Daryl, unable to look her in the eyes, holds her hand as he feels the warmth of her body close to him, for the first time in months. Maybe she was never good with words either, but right now, all he needs from her is to have her close, as close as he would be to her if she said yes.
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I can imagine a teen MC going to Satan for help with their homework from the human world and he just… can’t do Highschool math.
Of course he can help with English and science, and obviously he’s good at history he was there when those things were happening.
All goes well until MC pulls out their algebra homework.
He tries to help, really he tries everything he can think of to figure it out… but he just can’t.
And it’s not because he can’t solve a simple algebra problem it’s just that the way math has been taught changed quite a bit since the last time he actually had to do any algebra.
He simply just can’t figure out what they want you to do from how the question is worded, and since when did they change the formulas?
Eventually he gets so stressed from it he ends up caving in and going to Lucifer.
Except he can’t solve it either. Of course he doesn’t admit he can’t figure out how to solve it, his ego would be wounded. But he does go on a slight rant about how it’s stupid that humans keep changing simple math.
Somehow the others get involved, and now you have seven demons crowded around your math homework trying their best to figure it out.
Even Belphie is awake and Levi came out of his room. Asmo calls Solomon, hoping he would remember something about Highschool math.
Except he hasn’t even been to Highschool… he’s lived so long that when he was born school wasn’t really a thing, and when it did become a more common thing he just kinda went to college then studied magic.
Somehow Solomon gets Barbatos involved along with Diavolo, and now the prince of the devildom is trying (and failing) to do a simple math problem meant for fifteen year olds. Simeon gets called over by Solomon, thinking that maybe he would know. But no, he hasn’t studied math since a couple centuries ago.
Now you have nine demons a human and an angel desperately trying to solve a math problem.
Eventually you just grab the paper away for a second and use photomath to get the answer. You decide that it’s better to leave them be after finishing the whole paper without their help, they’ll figure it out eventually.
-Yes this is inspired by the fact that I tried to help a younger cousin with her math homework and I felt so old since math genuinely changed since I was in high school. Seriously that was only like six years ago why did it change?
#obey me nightbringer#obey me shall we date#obey me#obey me mc#obey me imagines#obey me headcanons#obey me hcs#obey me satan#satan obey me#i hate math
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HOLAA! primero que nada, amo tu forma de escribir 😭💗 y segundo, podrías hacer un Percy x reader, que sea como me dio moon and tides coded? Es que siempre me ha parecido romántico que la luna tenga una influencia en la marea
mar y luna | percy jackson
ღ percy jackson x daughter of selene! reader ღ warnings: none! ღ wc: 579 amé esta idea!! me basé un poco en un mito que encontré, 'luna y mar' porque siento que muestra bien la dinámica! espero que te guste hermosa! <3
In the daylight, life was bright and awake.
Just as it should be, right? The sun illuminates everything, demanding movement and action, filling the hours with responsibilities and distractions.
But as the sun dipped below the horizon, and the moon ascended to claim her throne, something within shifted. Perhaps it’s the solitude, the quiet that falls when the sky grows dark and the stars emerge, waiting to hear our wishes.
Percy, for example, spends his whole day eagerly anticipating that moment.
His friends didn’t get it; his mom definitely didn’t get it, and his dad –well, who knew with him?
But there was something about the night that lit a spark in Percy, something no one could explain.
Okay, fine!
He could explain it.
It was her.
The pull was impossible to resist, trust me. He could feel the invisible thread between them tighten, tugging him towards her from the very start; once he got close enough, there was no escaping.
His humor reflected her presence, his actions seemed so deliberately calculated. His choices and thoughts always seemed to lead back to her.
Basically, his entire life seemed to revolve around her, depended on her.
While the others laughed during the day, he felt trapped, yearning to break free just to get to her.
By night, though, he found her, just as he always did.
“You really can’t stay away, huh?” She teased, her voice as soft as the night itself.
“What can I say?” He shrugged, trying to act cool even as his cheeks warmed.
She laughed, brushing her fingers through his hair, and he crumbled instantly. Closing his eyes, he leaned into her touch like he needed it, all pretense forgotten.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” she murmured, a chuckle escaping her lips.
“Hmm, you probably should. Or maybe not, I think you’re the one who can’t stay away.”
“What!?" She asked, her tone caught between curiosity and amusement. "How come?”
“I’ve done my research, love.” He drew shapes into her hands, some words and moons marked invisible in her skin.
“Oh, have you?” She asked, swatting his hand lightly.
“Absolutely,” he said, dodging her next playful swat with a laugh, “and the evidence is undeniable.”
She shook her head, rolling her eyes as he grinned wider. “Alright, genius, let’s hear this theory of yours.”
He shrugged his shoulders, pulling away from her enough to look at her face.
The moonlight illuminated her beautifully, and he was about to shut the fuck up and kiss her.
“You’re the moon. And the moon,” he leaned in closer, stroking her cheek gently. “is guilty of high tides.”
She stared at him for a moment, trying to hold back her laughter.
“You’re impossible.” Then she gave in, her giggles spilling out as she shoved him back onto the sand. Instantly, he laughed too, grabbing her arms to pull her into him. “You got me, nerd. I can't live without you.”
And it was a silence understatement; it was true, for both of them.
They knew they couldn’t; her mother, the goddess of the moon, had strictly forbidden it. Breaking her rules was tempting fate itself.
But it didn’t matter. They were drawn together, no matter how much the world, or divine mandates, tried to keep them apart.
Something bound them, aching for one another when apart and feeling even more drawn when they were together.
And as Percy held her under the glow of the moonlight, he didn’t even try to imagine staying away.
Because, honestly, he knew he couldn’t.
to me, anyone who says that they don't like the moon is lying. have you seen her? LOOK AT HER!!
#percy jackson x reader#percy jackson#pjo x reader#percy jackson x you#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson x y/n#fanfic#my writing#percy jackson imagines
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HEAT TIME YEAHH!! I BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE! AND HOLY SHIT YOU DELIVERED! ITS SO HOT IN AN INTIMATE WAY! YOONGIS POV! AND THE DIRTY TALK! I AM ASCENDING! ALL OF THIS FOR FREE??! THANK YOU A MILLION TIMES OVER LI AHHHH! I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH OMG!
Mood:
"The hunger of the heat finds no respite and no quiet, not even under darkness where lovers touch finds seemly eyes blind." Ooh what a poetic start! "The fire that craves not for food or water or air, just their touch. Just them." Pretty lines. "Yes I am planning on keeping you forever. No you don't have to worry if I'll love you forever, let me claim you, let me show you in a way that matters." Awww. "I want to share my side of the nest with you, I want to talk you through it- the pain and the pleasure. I want you to feel love in every kiss, every bite." I'm soft ahh.
Lol: "One omega in heat is generally chaotic, but 3 is a horny hurricane of slick, cum, and tears." "Willing to scruff the alphas just to sit on their knots and all but bully Namjoon into letting him hog his (Something that Namjoon only sometimes allows.)" "Jin’s pout is never far from his plush lips, eyes always about to narrow when someone denies him his requests (usually for his own good)." Cute "Sometimes the pack tie him up and fill his holes with some silicone just to get a break." "Holy fuck. Tae's so hot." "You try too- but it’s hard to bite her when all you want to do is laugh." "Her hand goes to Yoongi’s hip, his waistline, all but tugging at his shorts as if to say ‘do something.'" I can imagine it loll "His own ego is very far down on his list of priorities and probably ranks just after Noodle's well-being in terms of Namjoon's pack alpha running task list." “Nah, just ran cuz it’s fun. Not cuz I didn’t want you to fuck me.” "Hobi tosses the shirt into some forgotten corner where it’s doomed to be used as a cum rag in the foreseeable future" "There is some scuffling in the hall too, a high-pitched “please please please” that can’t be Jin. You’ve never heard him sound desperate like that." I laughed out loud thinking of Jin's yells while gaming. "You press your face into Tae's thighs. Half under her skirt. Hiding there" cute lol “Did so well, so good ug-omega.” Hobi's flush and his shyness escape your notice. "Yoongi's pants, pants as Tae…sort of holds his cock while it's in you." "Your instincts tell you that you should let Hobi pup you for that. As a treat." "You hope you get to spend all of your heat like this, your head propped up in Tae's lap." cute. "Yoongi's cheeks and ears go splotchy. “I’m fucking my mate Jonnie, it’s not something I need a participation trophy for.” “We could get you one- engrave it ‘best cock in the fucking world’ or something. whatever you want.” "He rubs his face into your stomach and thighs once more, makeing sure you're scent marked, that the alpha's who defile you will be able to smell him on you before they knot you." "Hobi ducks away at Jin’s attention and Jin won't let him rest, sniffing at the hollow of his throat, all but backing Hobi up against a wall. Like Jin’s worried he doesn’t believe him. “Best pups” he repeats again, like he's worried hobi doesn't belive him." "“Too sleepy, can’t sleep on your knot, s’too-” Jin licks his lips, eyes darting down to look at it. “-Distracting.”" "Too fucked up to glare at you (he's not glaring, he's staring at you with determination.)" "
Hot: "“What? Don’t you want them to see how messy you are? How messy you get for us. You make it so cute when you slick up without meaning to, so flustered.” SHIVERS. Wow. "His thumb skims the apex of your hips, the dewy fold between your thigh and pussy. Teasing. “No pup, settle.” I gasped omg. "Fuck, he looks down at you, eyes darting from place to place, feeling his hardness grow. You look so flushed and healthy, your body glowing from within from the fever. You look- you look-." "Your mate wouldn't let you lift a fucking finger. He decides right then, he won’t let you do a lick of the work in this heat. All of your pleasure should be by their hands shouldn’t it? That’s just an extension of love, right? Dictating what pleasure you get and if it’s enough- should be up to them- you clearly aren’t thinking straight enough to decide if you need a cock in your cunt. That should be left up to him." "“So good for us, so good presenting yourself, so so cute.”" blushing, "cute" is unfair. "The fabric of his boxers quickly darken with slick. He doesn’t go quick, he savors it." im going to turn into jello and this is foreplay ahh "Yoongi cannot actually read your thoughts, so he leans low, pressing kiss after kiss into your spine, dragging his lips down to the dimples of your hips before he rises back on his knees" "You’re wetter and tighter than usual, so tight around him that he’s sure your clit twitches against the pillow with the strength of your clench. He takes a moment through your mewling to calm himself, certain that if he’s not careful, if moves even a little tiny bit, then he’s going to cum early and muck this all up." "Tae picks your hair off your cheeks so that all of them can see your slack lips, your eyes half closed in bliss. Your breath comes out in little 'hng' sounds. Like a moan stuck in your throat." "You fall limp, clenching so hard that you all but force Yoongi out of you, he just laughs, deep and low, before guiding his cock back in. Not finished with you at all yet but not quite letting you cum." "No pup, we're not done yet. Just a little more, just a little more and then you can cum, are you gonna make it pretty and squirt for me? I know mommy wants to see you all messy." ""Be good pup, I know you can wait and take your breeding like a good girl."" "Right there yeah? That's the spot that you like isn't it? cute little omega you're doing so well. So cute, don't worry, i'll give you everything you need. I know, it's so much right? It's not too much, i know you can take it, thats my girl- there just like that." "Her hardness is right there, poking up through the translucent fabric of her dress. Flush with her stomach and visibly pink and hard. Barely contained by her panties in a way that you know must be uncomfortable." "Jimin pushes Jungkook to the side, all so that he can grind his knot in again, deep, still not going down enough to pull out. The omega lets out a choked whine, at Jimin’s mercy." lol ""Wait little honey, let's get mommy nice and wet like this first." He guides you like that, to rub your cunt up and down Tae's length, every push of the head of her cock through your pussy makes you moan and twitch, wetter and wetter." ""I want you to cum like this before you have her, you have to show Mommy how messy you get just from this, have to show her you're good for a knot too. A big pretty cock like that won't fit in unless you're nice and wet okay honey? You're too tiny to take it without cumming first and besides-" yoongi hesitates. "don't you want to show them? jinnie and joonie and kookie?""
"You’re more delicate than the others." I'm just a baby. "You can't get over how good the pack’s hands feel, how calloused and intentional, bird bones and painted nails." Nice paragraph. "Maybe that’s what heats are? The need for love and pack sated by your bodies, that would find no satisfaction in it otherwise. There is no lust without love for any of you. You wouldn’t have gone into heat without them and their tender love and care. The love has always been there and this is no different." Crying TT "Your lungs flutter around it, your breath going heavy, and your eyes roll back briefly." Oh wow.
Yoongi tickled her into submission??! Lol "Looking unsure. "You did run, do you not want-" us, does not come out." NOO :/ "The heat might be new, but this is so familiar his heart aches with it." My love is so sweet and happy yay TT "Warm and sweet, fluffing over him. Everything; the sweetness to your scent, the ruddiness of your knees, the messy fluff of your hair over the pastel pillow, and the relaxed sprawl of your body is a siren song for Yoongi." What a beautiful and loving description omg ahh.
"Patient while you and Yoongi flirt." Aww. "The ache that turns you free for them to poke and prod and love at. Each moment of their absence a physical wound, each kiss and brush of skin- a band-aid." Pretty. "Yoongi takes them off, slow, fingers sliding over your calf. squeezing firmly, releasing the tension." The teasee. "Bypassing where you’re sore for him entirely to go under your shirt, the rough pads of his fingers skimming up your midline as he says, “let’s get rid of this sweet honey.” AHH! I FEEL SO LOVED TT "You like the way they say it, pup. Like you’re small and sweet and worth caring for. Worth claiming in a way that’s permanent like this. You trust them enough to see you like this, at your most vulnerable." TT
"What wouldn't he do? What wouldn't he give for your happiness?" I CANT TT TOO SWEET AHH! "I think of you in all the softest colors, collect moments for you in the palm of my hand, give you love until its nicknacks and keepsakes, slip through my fingers, too many to count, your pocket and bowl overflowing. You are that, my overflow and my undertow, I dreamed of you, I dreamed for you, and yet, you are still here. My bedtime story, my good night kiss. the moon to my firefly, the sugar on cream." YAY A POEM! PRETTY! "“My little honey.” I'm melting.
"If only Yoongi understood that." Ikr. :/ "You don’t catch the way that Yoongi’s eyebrows raise, the way his cheeks heat. For all of his dirty talk earlier, he is completely surprised that it’s him and not alpha and a knot that you ask for first." AHHH MY CUTE BABY "The press of his palm on the small of your back, the rub of his thumb against your rib. It’s so much. It's too much." good stuff good stuff. I like that it's mainly Yoongi but we see moments with Tae and Hobi.
"The thickness is just right, his body heat and his heartbeat you can feel as he fills you more and more. The comfortable stretch that you’ve become so accustomed to. No pain now only pleasure that makes your body hum and tingle from your toes to the top of your head, hair standing on end." AHHH OH WOW OK?! THE DETAILS ARE SO GOOD OMG! "All the way in. Hips flush. Pushing out the rest of your lucidity as he slides in to the hilt." LI DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE PERFECTION OF YOUR WRITING! IM SO FLUSTERED AHH!
"His eyes are so dark they reflect everything, the curve of your bodies, the paleness of Yoongi’s chest a bright speck on his eyes, as fleeting as any star. He licks his lips, barely resisting the temptation to rock forward into the pillow between his thighs." Gorgeous, you absolute genius omg. "The gentleness in him is a choice as he pulls you back on his cock, one hand goes to your shoulder, and the other stays on your waist, pulling you back and forth on him. Mindful of everything. The hot squelch of you and the pleasure tugging firm in his gut is secondary to the gentle way he guides you. Gentle and slow but firm." trembling.
"He can feel it deep inside; a place that’s usually impenetrable shifts open bit by bit as the heat settles in you. A little tightness just at the head of his cock that’s maddening." Oh. OH! "It’s okay, you don’t need to worry about wasting it, Yoongi has more than enough. Yoongi usually doesn’t cum so much, but he’s so distracted by you that he doesn’t notice." Oh oh ok. "You peer up at him with unsure eyes. Like you're checking too. Hobi's anxiety is a low simmer." Aww :( "But all of this is very routine, if they keep you just there, on the edge. build you up and set you down gently, your eventual Orgasam will keep the next wave of heat at bay for a little longer and your body will have more time to recover. It's a balance, giving you what you want and what your body needs." Ohh.
"There is no one to hide from, no one here that wouldn't love all of you. There is no part of you, dark or pink or otherwise, that these three- Tae, Hobi, Yoongi- don't know yet and love anyway." My heart hurts TT their love is so precious. "Hobi's going to go insane, Hobi's going to cum in his pants before he's even gotten inside of you" Me. "But still, it’s not enough. You cry, cheeks wet, unsure why exactly." Oh no. "“Good? Not scary? Not hurts?” You ask, your words a little scrambled from the heat. " AWW TT "You don’t even register that it’s Tae's fingers, sneaking in next to Yoongi and holding you open a little, curling just a bit to simulate the stretch of a knot and press against the scent gland in your pussy, close to your special little spot." Ohh. There's a scent gland there???
"You collect moments like seashells." so cute. ""She smells so calm, it's so- it's so-" what?! how is that bad?? "Sometimes getting what you want finally- the person you love healthy and happy- Can bring up a happy sort of sadness." oh ok phew. "Sadness, unfortunately, has its way of sticking around." wait wtf do u mean?? "The moment will end whether Yoongi wants it to or not." ok ok. you playing with my emotions omg. "“Proud of you,” Namjoon says. A grin that is ever so slightly hassling on his face." Too cute lol. "Hissing and spluttering, a smarting pain that honestly to God shocks you." Wth?? "If your spikes are too close together at the beginning of your heat then they just won't end at all. A prolonged fever is too dangerous." noo. "Three hands shoot into the air. Then after a moment, you shakily raise your hand too." What an ending lol
"i do think that the m/c is not very comfortable with her own name, or your name- whatever that may be like- it's very clear that i avoid using y/n as much as possible." interesting. "if it's not clear, yoongi is definitly feeling the effect of the m/c's addictive slick and her hormones, he is equally as heat addled as the pack is, he's just never felt the true effects of an omega in heat before because he's never been mated to the person in heat so yeah- it's the mating mark! this won't be the last time we see him acting like an alpha because of the marks." OOH OK!!! FUCK ME UP OMG!
"yoongi his cock almost in the m/c so who you fuckin? m/c: the fuck? you?" fr lol "now personally i love woumb fucking but i know it's not everyones cup of tea so i hope i skirted by it just perfectly" i think it was good. love and hate the concept. "yoongi does hate him a lot you know- even if he couldn't kill him." oh lol "i am so soft for boys that cum too quick but also have no refractory period like i am so into it it almost makes me feel like i'm not a lesbian. i think it's so /cute/." YES! "yoongi is so horny but also hopelessly sentimental in this my god" and i am LIVING for it omg. "the m/c is so dumb and horny in this chapter like what do you mean she wants namjoon and tae's knot both at the same time? like she can't even take one of those at once without prep normally let alone both-" true lol
Before I Leave You (Pt.77)
(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)
Summary: Tae and Hobi help Yoongi during your first wave of heat.
Tags: Yoongi x Tae x Hobi x m/c, Dom! Yoongi, dom! tae, switch! hobi, Sub! m/c, Foursome, heat sex, breeding kink, pregnancy kink, fertility kink, control kink, mommy kink, talking her through it, dirty talk, exhibitionism and Voyeurism, teasing, flirting, biting, a tiny hint of mind break, a bit of pillow riding, dumbification kink, size kink, dirty talk, hole check, inspection kink, fluffy smut, no hurt just comfort, okay slight hurt because Hobi has anxiety, coming prematurely, cum play, sleepy sex, brief referenced Somnophilia,
W/c: 14.4k
A/n: thank you guys for being so tolerant of my brief absense, i didn't intend to take so long to update this but unfortunately sometimes living through historical events can be really tough to get through. i can't belive we made it to the 77th chapter! i always thought it would be nice to get to this point because you know- seven is bts's number <3 bily is way too long lol
Previous part- Masterlist - First part
The hunger of the heat finds no respite and no quiet, not even under darkness where lovers touch finds seemly eyes blind. Your descent into fever is fairly controlled given how long it's been since you've gone into heat. It's gentle even as your body surrenders itself completely to your instincts.
But there is nothing dirty to it. Nothing that leaves you feeling filthy and used. Going into heat with the pack leaves you feeling clean of your insecurities and anxiety. The last little bit that clings to you burned out by the heat like Bitter weeds burned out so that sweet tall growing love can take the place of the barren fields.
It’s easy to burn. Lights just like that.
The next three and a half days progress in a haze of lust and love and comfort. If asked, you’re not sure that you could articulate just what it’s like- the thrall of heat. The fever that burns through you, simmers your bones to dry kindling and hungry wind. The fire that craves not for food or water or air, just their touch. Just them.
I would love to say that your, Jungkook and Jin’s heat goes well- but in all reality it doesn’t. In reality- it’s a bit of a shit show.
One omega in heat is generally chaotic, but 3 is a horny hurricane of slick, cum, and tears. Your packmates are bound to get exhausted at one point and fail to fulfill your needs through the own simple fragility of their bodies. Your alphas aren’t indestructible or immune from exhaustion, as much they like to pretend otherwise.
Normally Jin and Jungkook are a bit of a handful. On account of being a little older, Jin is sweet but a little demanding.
Willing to scruff the alphas just to sit on their knots and all but bully Namjoon into letting him hog his (Something that Namjoon only sometimes allows.) Possessive and protective of them. Often sleeping with one hand pressed to Namjoon’s stomach, his throat, or when the heat fever spikes particularly high- wrapped around his knot. Protecting it, keeping it safe. To make sure no one steals it.
Jin gets incurably sleepy during his heats, Awake one moment and fast asleep the next. Easily worn out. Jin’s pout is never far from his plush lips, eyes always about to narrow when someone denies him his requests (usually for his own good).
Jin has asked for…strange things in heat before. For the alpha’s to breed each other, knock each other up. For them to knot his jaw if they won't knot his hole (often already occupied). Stuff like that.
But he’s softer sometimes. More maternal. Checking their bodies obsessively for wounds, keeping them in the nest no matter if they need to eat or pee or go let Noodle out the back. Licking their scent glands raw to soothe until the heat fever burns so bright that he can’t resist any longer.
By comparison, Jungkook is a big bunny rabbit.
Insatiable and energized with every wave of heat, Jungkook turns twitchy and needy in the heat fever. Just as happy to bounce on a knot as he is to take a pounding. Jungkook requires stamina, Jungkook requires energy. Often laconic or non-verbal. Jungkook does not like it soft, likes hair pulling and biting and his knees scraping against the nest. Pulled from one knot to the next.
The pack is no stranger to waking up to Jungkook astride them, powerful thighs straining to lift himself up and down in the omega’s half-asleep state, sleep fucking his way to an orgasm. Their pj's pulled low or ripped if he's eager enough. Cute little gasps echo off the tall ceilings as he takes his pleasure at a dreamy pace. One of the alpha’s staring up at him sleepy, stretched out, happy to have a bit of a break from moving.
Jin honestly doesn’t know where all the energy comes from.
Sometimes the pack tie him up and fill his holes with some silicone just to get a break. With barely 10 minutes between his heat spikes at his worst. He’s willing to take anything- a spank to his cock, a knot meanly fucked in and out of his hole all loose when he’s too far gone. Anything and everything until the spikes get less searing and the fire ebbs from flames to embers.
Edging and overstimulation are the pack’s best friends when it comes to Jungkook’s heats. That’s what Jungkook needs; to whine and whimper and flinch at every touch until it’s worn out of him. Until pleasure becomes pain and then goes back again. Flip-flopping until Jungkook can’t tell if it hurts too much to keep going or if it feels too good to stop.
It’s a good thing he’s equally soothed with a plastic knot as a real one, that he’s happy so long as he’s filled and plugged up so that no cum escapes. Precious and warm and his alpha’s gift. Evidence of their claim and devotion.
Evidence too of what bonds the omega’s together.
Nestmates do this, they take their breeding together in their nest during a heat. That’s what’s good and right. What Jungkook’s instincts crave. There is safety in numbers. The more pups the better.
(never mind the fact that out of heat, jungkook plans to be pupfree forever thank you very much).
But everyone knows not to take the things said during a heat seriously. that all that talk of breeding and pups is just that- talk. what matters is the devotion and the sentiment. Yes I am planning on keeping you forever. No you don't have to worry if I'll love you forever, let me claim you, let me show you in a way that matters.
It’s cute even if it is a little gross, how possessive omegas can get of alpha cum during heats. Their bellies going swollen and messy with it. A little plug does wonders to soothe any of Jungkook’s discomfort. A spank to his hole before one is shoved in even more so. The cherry on top.
The pack has learned how to meet his needs well, even at the expense of their own. That’s one thing that separates your alpha’s from the others, they don’t think about their own pleasure at all, they don’t think about their own needs- only yours.
I want to share my side of the nest with you, I want to talk you through it- the pain and the pleasure. I want you to feel love in every kiss, every bite.
The pack has wondered many times over the last year where you fit on the spectrum from bratty to obedient, from lethargic to energized.
Would you pout and whine like Jk? Bouncing on their knots for a bit of reprieve? Or would you be like Jin- bratty and needy in all the best ways? A princess and the pee, the omega and the knot. It’s all very fairytale.
But compared to Jin and Jungkook, you’re a bit of an angel.
They thought after so long your heat would hit hard, that your body would make up for time lost and leave it long and drawn out and brutal. That your lack of heat for so many years would reward you with spikes that never end and pleasure that went too far. That it would be rough.
Yoongi would never want to abandon the others, but even he has to admit that you need to be his priority sometimes. You’re more delicate than the others. That is a fact that he's never been able to ignore.
But he need not worry. If anything, your heat just makes you more gentle, soft, and round at the edges where your anxiety and fear can sometimes turn you a bit prickly.
Something about the heat just wears all of your energy out of you, makes you sleepy and soft, hurtling down through Omegaspace so far that you can’t really feel anything if it’s not good, brain a mess of good pup, good alphas breed good puppies, knot good puppies too, pup pup pups.
You are completely pliant and suggestible. Tears forever hovering on the edge of your waterline summoned by the slightest edge of disapproval. Good, you just want to be good. To part your legs and let them have the sweetness between them. You don’t need to be needy; you hardly even need to ask before someone is there. Someone is always always there.
The need builds to a fever's pitch, a fire burning through you. You’ve never felt so touch-starved before. Your skin dimpling with gooseflesh the second you feel even the slightest warmth, the slighted brush of possible body heat. There is something frantic in you, the hot flush crawling under your skin that stills only when they touch you.
Is this what overstimulation feels like to Jimin? Is this what he feels like when he holds Tae? does he feel the same sense of lingering relief? You watch the ceiling spin as Yoongi heaves you up. Everything is in slow motion. Putting it together second by second. Everything slow and drippy like syrup.
The thing about omega's in heat is that they're a little bit dumb.
Like, there's no way that you could have ever conceivably run away from Yoongi and Tae and Hobi, no way that you could have escaped given your small size and their height. your run is doomed from the start.
The heat hormones are a little intense, a little hard to thing through.
You can't get over how good the pack’s hands feel, how calloused and intentional, bird bones and painted nails. Slightly rough and always firm. Calloused between the thumb and forefinger from pencils or firearms.
They’re always so gentle. So gentle that you feel every touch as not hunger but love instead. Maybe that’s what heats are? The need for love and pack sated by your bodies, that would find no satisfaction in it otherwise. There is no lust without love for any of you. You wouldn’t have gone into heat without them and their tender love and care. The love has always been there and this is no different.
You don’t have to question if they need you and want you the same way that you do. The scent of arousal is heady on the air, not just from the omega’s- but from them too. You can scent it; how they’re feeling. Their hunger.
It’s as if they've just come from in from out of the cold. It conjures up images of warm fires inside honeyed houses, of someone washing your face and you trust them not to get soap in your eyes, of waking up in the nest with your eyes still closed, the warmth all around you. Someone buttoning up your coat. Something warm and sweet to eat in your hands, sugar on the edge of your tongue, crystals of sweetness glittering and dusting deserts like starlight.
Only you are that sweet thing, you are that warmth. Your alpha's are the ones that have come in from the cold.
There’s this mischievous victorious edge to Jimin’s scent, the vanilla sweeter and smokier than usual. The concerned edge to Hobi's- the caramel all warm and melty but with a sharp hint- like his anxiety has turned syrupy by proximity to the omega’s in heat. The calm edge to Tae's; roses in the morning, cinnamon sugar sweetness for breakfast even if it will spoil you for later.
But Namjoon- you hiccup when you breathe it in too deep. A shudder runs down your spine.
Namjoon smells so much richer than usual. Mouthwatering and potent. Dangerous and musky. Namjoon smells like a threat and a promise. Like a storm coming that you cannot evade. Namjoon smells like an ache. Your lungs flutter around it, your breath going heavy, and your eyes roll back briefly.
You feel drunk on it, almost tipsy from it. So good that just catching it in the air makes you slick up, and it turns the tops of your thighs all glossy underneath the big shirt you wear, the big shirt that gets pulled this way and that when Yoongi and Hobi and Tae pick you up and drag you from the hallway into the nest room.
You squirm, trying to get to him at the end of the hall as they move you. Their single-minded focus is getting you somewhere safe and comfortable even as the fever climbs and climbs. Your skin turning hot beneath their touch so quickly that they share nervous glances.
One moment your skin is sweet warm to the touch, the next your pulse is racing and you’re burning up. Cheeks pink, temples damp. Your pupils are so dilated it turns your eyes dark and glassy, so little of their usual color visible.
You’d be worried and teary at Hobi's scent but it’s just so fun.
You’re having a hard time holding onto your worry. Being restrained by them feels like playing this way. His hands go hard around your wrists as you push and giggle. His thin bones pressed to your fragile ones. Grinning up at them a little feral, a little heat addled.
You try to push and roll away futilely, unable to put any real force behind it as Tae grabs your ankles and Yoongi takes you around your middle. You catch sight of his grin as you squirm. And his hands go harder around your waist. Pausing to tickle at your ribs before they toss you- a little unceremoniously- into the center of the nest.
Your body is bare from their touch for about two seconds but you still don't like it. No sooner has a whine started to build in your throat. Nuckles brushing the nest, belly up, staring up at them dazed. Then your alphas and mate descend on you. Depressing the nest with their knees and feet, rushing and hurrying to cover you.
The whole house is full of the sound of snarls, wet slaps, and the burning haze of arousal. The hormones drip to a slow build. Setting everyone on edge. Even Yoongi breathes through his teeth. You try to kick at Tae's thigh just for fun but pull back once Yoongi’s fingers scrape your ankle in warning.
Tae doesn’t seem to like your squirming, taking your wrists in both of her hands and pressing them into the nest until you feel it in the bones of your wrists. With firmness comes clarity.
Holy fuck. Tae's so hot.
Her hair spills over her face and her eyes are dark. The hem of her dress pulls low, and you try to lean up to nuzzle into it, lips curled into a snarl, a laugh. You could bite her. You want to bite her. You try too- but it’s hard to bite her when all you want to do is laugh.
Yoongi's fingers continue to tickle against your ribs, laughing and giggling through your very first spike of heat, ticklish. Squirming, held down until your breath goes ragged and you sag back against the nest, your surrender is just as sweet as the rest of you. You're so dizzy you're unable to fight against them. The heat zoomies worn out of you.
You laugh until you hiss. Curling to the side just a little as you double over in pain. A wave racks through you. Burning and stinging from your stomach outwards.
Yoongi stills, one hand on your knee, eyes wide. Tae lets your wrists go so you can clutch at your stomach. Holding your face through it. Hobi's hand is hard on your shoulder, knuckles white, expression stricken but unsure.
"Oh my little honey, don't worry, we'll make it better, shh just-" She's a little more panicky than the rest of them are. Her hand goes to Yoongi’s hip, his waistline, all but tugging at his shorts as if to say ‘do something.'
Yoongi holds your stomach too. Alarmed by your trembling. "Are you- do you need-“a knot, hovers on the edge of his tongue.
But you just blink. “Yoongi- it's too much- it burns- Sore- so sore here.” You touch your stomach gently, but it's so sensitive it still makes you hiss, eyes watering. Yoongi's hands slowly press to yours, flat, long fingers covering yours.
It's gone as quick as it comes, the wave ebbing after a stiff peak. And after a moment with more of Tae's shushing. You relax, stretching back out in the nest. Breathing heavily until you aren't. Until the cramping and the aching need want need to be filled in your head quiets.
Yoongi's fingers swirl on your stomach, gently. It's sensitive, but it actually does make you feel better. “You ran, do you want us to wait for Namjoon or-" You’re already shaking your head no when Yoongi cuts off. Letting your legs flop open so that he can shuffle forward closer. Nudging at the back of his hips with your heels.
You don't wonder why Yoongi mentions Namjoon. He's the pack alpha, and the right to breed you first in heat is his as dictated by old laws and rules. It’s stupid, but it’s instinctual. If you weren't mated, Yoongi might be tempted to ask Namjoon for permission.
Yoongi huffs at the mere idea of it.
But Namjoon isn't like that. He cares about your wants first. His own ego is very far down on his list of priorities and probably ranks just after Noodle's well-being in terms of Namjoon's pack alpha running task list.
Dominance is its own kind of submission.
And, judging by Jin's snarling from the other room- he'll be preoccupied for at least the next hour. You don't know if you can wait that long. A whine drips out of you, a sound small and weak. The fire starts to tickle in your tummy, insistent.
Hobi shuffles closer to you. Bare-chested, his red shorts looking tight. Looking unsure. "You did run, do you not want-" us, does not come out.
You shift, futile in your efforts to try and get comfortable, it's impossible with the weight of your instincts pinning you down, the pervasive ache that's sort of everywhere.
“Nah, just ran cuz it’s fun. Not cuz I didn’t want you to fuck me.”
Yoongi huffs and Hobi's grin cracks. His anxiety dissipates, fond with it. Yoongi's fingers itch up your thighs, parting them just a little so that he can shuffle forward closer to you. Until you can feel the heat from his tummy against yours.
You can feel so much. Your whole body one big nerve ending. You can feel the slight fluff and softness of the peach fuzz on his tummy dragging against yours as he gets closer. The feel of his slender but strong fingers circling your ankles. All of it.
You like this, you always like it when Yoongi's close.
“Glad we cleared that up, it’s not like I can’t literally see you slicking up but-“ you laugh and try and swat at him. He drops one of your ankles to catch your hand and tangles it with his for good measure.
A small smile hovers on the edge of his lips. He searches your face, smiling at what he sees your dopey smile and endeared indignation. The heat might be new, but this is so familiar his heart aches with it.
“If you’re gonna tease me while I’m in heat can you at least make it good?” Your breath goes heavy. Warm and sweet, fluffing over him. Everything; the sweetness to your scent, the ruddiness of your knees, the messy fluff of your hair over the pastel pillow, and the relaxed sprawl of your body is a siren song for Yoongi.
Above you Tae and Hobi stay quiet. Just watching. Tae drags a lock of your hair away from your face. Patient while you and Yoongi flirt.
“I thought you liked my teasing.”
Your tone sounds petulant even to you, “I do just not-”
Yoongi presses your knees apart, up towards your chest abruptly cutting off your words as you let out a broken moan. He puts a bit more force behind it than usual, putting you on display, spread. The hem of your shirt hides nothing as you feel yourself clench and his gaze flickers down.
“There you are, now I can see that you like it.” Your entrance looks swollen and pink but inviting. Winking at him. Tae perks up, looking not at you but down.
“Fuck don’t-“ you strain. Palming at his hands, inarticulate.
“What? Don’t you want them to see how messy you are? How messy you get for us. You make it so cute when you slick up without meaning to, so flustered.” The dirty talk makes your bones crack like kindling, makes you gush fresh.
The smile on his face widens just a bit, and you hiccup through the shudder that rocks through you. Your body burns, your stomach churns, and your skin simmers where he touches. Stoking your craving for more more more.
A breeding press. That's what Yoongi's just put you into. Knees to your chest, your sensitive heat slit ripe and wet between your thighs, ready for the taking. A breeding press in front of two alphas, in front of Tae and Hobi, watching with wide dark eyes. Your mate presents you for breeding. An invitation.
“Hold her.” Yoongi’s command is not snapped or growled out but Hobi and Tae follow suit regardless. Hobi fumbles, grabbing one wrist and Tae grabs the other.
Ready. Settled. It’s a bit of a strange show of dominance. But inside, Yoongi isn’t surprised that you needed a firm hand. To be held down and puppeted and propped. To know that they’re in control before you let your alpha's breed you.
He says your alphas- but he's the only one you're looking at. The only one you're whining for.
It’s hard to articulate your hands or your mind, tongue wrapped around a sound that can only be an endless whimper. Tae leans low when you try to squirm again. Her teeth nip at your ear, a shock to your system that makes you leak a fresh gush of slick half onto Yoongi's lap.
You have to be spilling and dripping by now. You try and press your legs back together and hide but Yoongi keeps you spread. His thumb skims the apex of your hips, the dewy fold between your thigh and pussy. Teasing.
“No pup, settle.”
You obey, unable not to. Sprawled there with them looming over you. Tae's fingers hover around your throat, manicured fingers rubbing soft against your scent gland, sensitive and tender. Achy. So achy you tilt your neck and show her your throat. Dizzy. The only thing solid is Yoongi’s hands and your instincts that tell you to try and get them closer.
Your instincts know what you need.
All of you sort of hurts. A bone-deep ache that has pinned you here as well as their touch. The ache that turns you free for them to poke and prod and love at. Each moment of their absence a physical wound, each kiss and brush of skin- a band-aid.
Belly down, you need to get belly down and show them. Need to show your alpha’s and your mate that you can be good- that you’re worth breeding. That you can take all of the love that they have to give and more.
You just can’t move your body; can’t make it cooperate- you feel so heavy and tired all of a sudden. Falling slack. All the fight going out of you.
“There you go, that wasn’t so hard now was it?” Yoongi’s voice is a deep purr.
You are missing things, the seconds slipping away as you start to sweat and whimper. You don’t see Hobi's stricken expression as tears start to gather at your waterline or Tae's eyes, dark but sympathetic. You don’t see or feel the way that Hobi trembles as he holds your wrists perfunctory now that you've gone limp.
But still, he holds you. the touch goes tender where moment's ago it had been firm. Hobi doesn't notice, Hobi doesn't see.
But Yoongi does. Yoongi sees all of it, holding your knees still, fingers rounding out over the bone, rubbing up and down your thighs, an inch higher with every pass, until the cool pads of his fingers are brushing your shirt. Shushing your whines as he shuffles between your legs and the meat of his thighs meets your ass. Shirt fluffing up to your belly button from this position.
If the other alphas smell good, then Yoongi is the heat in the back of your throat and the compass by which you fly home. Your scent spikes watching him settle on his knees between your legs, your toes pressed to his stomach still in your socks. White, to the upper ankle.
Yoongi takes them off, slow, fingers sliding over your calf. squeezing firmly, releasing the tension. Setting them to the side the way he'd fold laundry, casual, like he's not making you hiccup.
You can feel yourself clench when you register that there is hardness at the front of his shorts. Yoongi smells good, drippy, and chocolatey. You want him all over you. The fabric at the front of his boxers brushes your heat slit, rougher than the pads of his fingers, and you feel like you might just pass out.
Sensitive- your body is oversensitive. You can feel everything, the tickle of Hobi's breath as it hitches when he sees the mess between your legs. Sweet nectar to the hummingbird thunder of his heart in his fingers. Tae's soft growl rippling from her chest. Small chest vibrating with it.
Yoongi lets your hips relax and slides his hands up your hips to your waist instead. Bypassing where you’re sore for him entirely to go under your shirt, the rough pads of his fingers skimming up your midline as he says, “let’s get rid of this sweet honey.”
There are pet names everywhere. Pup, honey, little treat, sweetheart. On the edge of every line as he coaxes you to sit up. Sweetening every sentence. They’re unable not to add them, each nickname more loving than your own name.
How could you deny them the pleasure of it on their tongue. You like the way they say it, pup. Like you’re small and sweet and worth caring for. Worth claiming in a way that’s permanent like this. You trust them enough to see you like this, at your most vulnerable.
A shout comes from the hall. A loud repetitive smacking sound the backtrack to Yoongi’s deep satisfied hum. You toss your head to the side, looking towards the door with a loud whine. Hopeful to summon the other omegas here. Here where nothing is scary, and everything drips as slow as syrup on a cold day.
But you hear only hisses and snarls in response. A dark sound that becomes Jungkook’s giggle and something hitting the wall with a loud thud. A knee- or maybe someone’s hand.
The other omegas are not as easy to catch and soothe as you are. It will take one knotting each before the alpha’s manage to settle them and cajole them back into the nest. You go right away, no need to be disobedient.
Jin hisses loudly and goosebumps erupt on your arms. It has nothing to do with feeling cold on the contrary; the heat fever tears through you. You didn’t realize you were overheating until Yoongi disrobed you. Your mate is so good. So good at anticipating your needs. Guiding your shirt off of you with a gentle hum until Hobi can grab it and get it over your shoulders. All of this is so gentle.
Yoongi’s hands stay on your back, making you lie back down slowly, supporting you so that your abdominal muscles need not strain. Hobi tosses the shirt into some forgotten corner where it’s doomed to be used as a cum rag in the foreseeable future. You blink up at them, two of your alphas and your mate.
Why won’t they- why can’t you-
Yoongi’s hand presses flat against your stomach, quieting your sweet whines. You are entirely unselfconscious of your body like this, unaware of the marks or rolls on your body or the soft plush to your stomach. There is only Yoongi’s eyes on you, maintaining contact as he sets you back where he wants you. One hand on your shoulder, the other on your waistline.
Fuck, he looks down at you, eyes darting from place to place, feeling his hardness grow. You look so flushed and healthy, your body glowing from within from the fever. You look- you look-.
Yoongi cringes internally but you do look ready. Fertile and sweet and glowing from fever. Ready for pups, ready to be knocked up, ready for breeding. If Yoongi was an alpha, god help them all. He can’t imagine what it feels like to the others. To have you flushed and cute and willing like this.
What wouldn't he do? What wouldn't he give for your happiness?
What would Tae write about this moment? Yoongi imagines himself as a fly on the wall, a poem inside her head.
I think of you in all the softest colors, collect moments for you in the palm of my hand, give you love until its nicknacks and keepsakes, slip through my fingers, too many to count, your pocket and bowl overflowing. You are that, my overflow and my undertow, I dreamed of you, I dreamed for you, and yet, you are still here. My bedtime story, my good night kiss. the moon to my firefly, the sugar on cream.
For a second, he imagines it. You pregnant. You bred.
Your stomach round and taught. He imagines watching you get bigger and bigger until you're waddling around. Your chest sweetening with milk, already supple now nipples pebbling in the cold. To imagine them bigger is honestly- Yoongi cannot think about it without throbbing and twitching. The hardness a heavenly jut against your cunt. Just as weepy and needy as the rest of you.
You look so healthy too. A lump comes to Yoongi’s throat at the realization. You’d have it so easy carrying the pack’s pup like this. But even then- Yoongi wouldn’t let up, on the contrary. He'd probably rival Jin and namjoon in their protective instincts and their doting. He’d cave to all your cravings and leave in snow or rain and sleet to get you whatever your pregnancy cravings might ask.
He never thought he had a thing for it; pregnancy and breeding is more an alpha's wheelhouse but you…All round and full of them. It wouldn't even matter who got to you first, whose seed would take all of that is your choice.
But Yoongi imagines your scent going milky, imagines how sleepy and brody you'd get. He wonders if you'd take to carting one of your stuffed animals around. Would your instincts prepare you to cling to everything small and cute and soft?
He already treats you like fine china- but pupped? Your mate wouldn't let you lift a fucking finger. He decides right then, he won’t let you do a lick of the work in this heat. All of your pleasure should be by their hands shouldn’t it? That’s just an extension of love, right? Dictating what pleasure you get and if it’s enough- should be up to them- you clearly aren’t thinking straight enough to decide if you need a cock in your cunt. That should be left up to him.
(Clearly, the heat is getting to Yoongi)
Contraceptive, you took the contraceptive, didn't you? Yoongi should remember that. He shouldn't be so giddy for something that is impossible now and for all real likelihood may never happen or is years and years away. This is only your first heat. His instincts should honestly chill, he shouldn't be reacting the way the alpha's do.
Even if there is truly no harm in pretending.
Why does his chest feel so tight? Why do his muscles feel poised to fight? His pulse beats a little quicker, a little harder, as if in response to you.
Yoongi's breath goes deep and ragged. “My little honey.” He says, voice husky, and you squirm. A little happy. A little overwhelmed by all the attention.
He picks you by your hips, turning you over, guiding you to present the way that all good little omega’s do. Tummy down and ass up. You blink dazed as they move you, losing yourself a little more with each moment. Tae puts a pillow under your tummy and the crinkle of the waterproof pillowcase distantly assures you that whatever mess you make will not ruin the fun.
The room spins with the smell of them, the pet of Tae's fingers down your back as Yoongi spreads your knees so he can kneel between them. Stroking gently over your spine, pressing it to curve and arch for them.
“So good for us, so good presenting yourself, so so cute.” Her voice is quiet and honey-sweet. And you don’t know why but you suddenly feel like crying.
You want to cry in relief, you might actually cry over the praise. You are pinned there- beneath Yoongi’s touch and by his eyes as he looks down at you. He pauses to turn your cheek to the side so that he can better watch your face. Tae shuffles forward, picking your chest up and lying your half in her lap, your cheek resting just below the hem of her dress against her plush thighs. A predicament you've found yourself in many times.
You peer up at her, teary-eyed. Fists tangling with her dress, clinging to it, to her. You need something to steady you. Something to hold onto when your brain feels like a feather fluttering in the wind. Dazed and fuzzy. Omegaspace has never felt so intense before.
your lower lip juts out, glossy and pink. “Mommy it hurts.”
She bends low, pressing a kiss to your brow. The brush of her skin against yours makes you dizzy. It feels so good to be touched and loved like this. To feel someone touching your body so gently like it’s precious.
Who knows, maybe to them, you really are.
She nuzzles forward, her forehead finding yours. Her nose going that way then the other. Pecking your lips once, twice, and then again.
“I know pup, we’ll make it better.”
You whimper, and Tae sets your cheek against her thigh so that you can rest there through whatever happens next, one hand wraps around her ankle, and your other reaches back blindly to tangle with Hobi's.
Neither of them stops Yoongi. Neither of them tries to get in the way- it’s Yoongi’s right- as your mate- to do with you what he wishes during your heat. To fuck you this way and that. To take precedent and priority.
If only yoongi understood that.
Yoongi leans over you, letting his lap make contact with your ass, grinding forward almost immediately as you jerk back. You’ve never heard Yoongi sound so dark, his voice so rough.
“It’s so tough, isn’t it? Feeling so many instincts all at once huh? Being so small and scared right? You just wanted us to chase you, make sure we could catch you- make sure we’re worthy.”
He digs his fingers into your hip bones pressing you down into your knees. Your cheek turned to the side, nuzzling into the fabric of Tae's dress. You blink up at Tae dazed, eyes feasting on the way that her dress- flimsy and partially see-through- slips down her shoulders- pulled askew in your chasing.
From the hall- you hear the sound of groans and moans. You don’t know why your other nestmates don’t just come willingly. It feels so good, so soft and safe underneath you.
You didn’t think you could feel so safe.
Gone is the instinct to run, gone is the instinct to hide and cower- now all you can do is whine and part your legs, the ache there so deep there you feel it in your teeth. But Yoongi grinds his half-hidden hardness where you’re needy and sensitive. The fabric of his boxers quickly darken with slick. He doesn’t go quick, he savors it.
The fact that Yoongi doesn’t have a knot doesn’t cross your mind. Not even once. He’s still the first one you want.
…not the only one you want of course, but him first.
Yoongi cannot actually read your thoughts, so he leans low, pressing kiss after kiss into your spine, dragging his lips down to the dimples of your hips before he rises back on his knees. A look so soft in his eyes- Hobi and Tae feel a bit like they’re intruding on something.
“Whose knot should you take first honey, Taetae’s, or Hobi's? Or do you want me to decide for you? Tell me who you want, honey- anything.” He promises, voice husky. And Tae can tell he means it. Anything that you’d want right now, he’d give.
You whimper, shaking your head against Tae’s hand, her touch, a finger-popping into your mouth to sate your need to suck. You can’t speak- couldn’t even if you wanted to. But that’s alright, you’ve got packmates to do that for you.
“I don’t think she wants either of us Hyung,” she says, hushed, gentle in her tone- nothing in it telling her how hurt she is or if she’s even hurt at all at not being chosen first. You don’t catch the way that Yoongi’s eyebrows raise, the way his cheeks heat.
For all of his dirty talk earlier, he is completely surprised that it’s him and not alpha and a knot that you ask for first.
Oh, how intimate it is to be needed like this.
You look up at him, shy but needy, you need him- oh how you need him- you couldn’t imagine feeling this way without him here. Couldn’t imagine it feeling so good without his touch. The press of his palm on the small of your back, the rub of his thumb against your rib. It’s so much. It's too much.
You tug one arm underneath you under your chest, the other hovering, holding Hobi's hand behind you blindly. Your fingers, his fingers tangled. You rest your cheek on Tae's thigh and look back as Yoongi shuffles forward. The elastic of his boxers pulled down his hips. The head of his cock pink and glossy with pre-cum.
There is some scuffling in the hall too, a high-pitched “please please please” that can’t be Jin. You’ve never heard him sound desperate like that. Hobi's hot breath dusts the back of your neck.
Your eyes flutter closed as one of Yoongi’s hands leaves your waist to guide his cock. Only to shoot open again. Gasping at the familiar prod.
The thickness is just right, his body heat and his heartbeat you can feel as he fills you more and more. The comfortable stretch that you’ve become so accustomed to. No pain now only pleasure that makes your body hum and tingle from your toes to the top of your head, hair standing on end.
Hair that Hobi pets over. Shushing your full body shivers and hiccups as Yoongi slides home gently. All the way in. Hips flush. Pushing out the rest of your lucidity as he slides in to the hilt.
From that moment on- your heat is a blur. A dizzying cocktail of pleasure, pain, and comfort. Descending down and down and down now that you’re safe. Now that your mate is here.
Yoongi slides all the way in without any resistance. You’re wetter and tighter than usual, so tight around him that he’s sure your clit twitches against the pillow with the strength of your clench. He takes a moment through your mewling to calm himself, certain that if he’s not careful, if moves even a little tiny bit, then he’s going to cum early and muck this all up.
The moment passes between one breath and the next. Yoongi’s hands tremble where they hold your waist. Thumbs rubbing circles on the small of your back, breathing heavily.
"Shh shh shhh little pup, there you go, just like that. So full huh? I know you're sensitive but that's what you needed, isn't it?"
He makes the mistake of looking up at Hobi, and then that’s almost all it takes. His lips are glossy, looking not at him but at the place where both of you connect. The wet hot gush of your cunt stretched around Yoongi’s thickness.
His eyes are so dark they reflect everything, the curve of your bodies, the paleness of Yoongi’s chest a bright speck on his eyes, as fleeting as any star. He licks his lips, barely resisting the temptation to rock forward into the pillow between his thighs.
Barely.
You gasp against Tae's thigh, but her eyes are dark and trained on the same spot. Her lower lip pinned between her teeth like a butterfly to a wall. Keeping a filthy-sounding growl at bay.
There is something about the narrowness of Yoongi’s waist in between your legs and the broadness of his shoulders that makes her feel a little bit crazy. Yoongi has always been beautiful in a way that is neither alpha nor omega. Strong in a way that is an attribute and not a chosen quality.
The gentleness in him is a choice as he pulls you back on his cock, one hand goes to your shoulder, and the other stays on your waist, pulling you back and forth on him. Mindful of everything. The hot squelch of you and the pleasure tugging firm in his gut is secondary to the gentle way he guides you. Gentle and slow but firm.
Yoongi's hand is on your shoulder. Your cheek on Tae’s inner thigh, Yoongi's knuckles brush the inside of Tae's thigh every time he forces you back on his cock. Every warm gasps brushes her skin and Yoongi’s knuckles.
She greatly enjoys this; watching and waiting for her turn. She might not mind waiting forever if it’s Yoongi doing the taking apart. Tae can put you back together later. They can go like that again and again and she’d never mind going second.
Tae picks your hair off your cheeks so that all of them can see your slack lips, your eyes half closed in bliss. Your breath comes out in little 'hng' sounds. Like a moan stuck in your throat.
Her mouth is dry, and you gasp against her thigh when Yoongi grinds deep and stays there. Testing the resistance of your body and marveling at how there isn’t any now. He can feel it deep inside; a place that’s usually impenetrable shifts open bit by bit as the heat settles in you. A little tightness just at the head of his cock that’s maddening.
Fuck, Namjoon will be able to reach there, Yoongi probably could with his fingers, if you hadn’t taken the contraceptive, Namjoon could have put his cock right there and-
It must be your hormones. It must be the mating mark. That must be why he’s so close to cumming so quick. Rocking inside, just to savor the feel of you.
There’s no one alive who's felt this, no one alive who knows what you taste or smell or feel like during your heat. Yoongi will savor this for a moment. Maybe forever.
If the others would only listen, would they let him linger for as long as he wants to? His end barrels past him, flush with the knowledge that it’s him, him making you pant and blush, him making you clench and drip and moan and-
Fucking hell- Yoongi’s almost going insane.
He cums like that, holding your hips flush to his for a handful of seconds, rocking through it, breathing heavily. But he doesn’t flag, doesn’t go soft, just keeps fucking you after a few seconds, cock twitching and throbbing hard.
Fuck. It's so wet and hot, he can feel his cum in you, feel the way it's kept warm and snug. His spend turns frothy around the base of his cock too quick as he sets about fucking you faster, endlessly craving more. The clench of your cunt is not quite enough to keep it from escaping without a knot.
It’s okay, you don’t need to worry about wasting it, Yoongi has more than enough. Yoongi usually doesn’t cum so much, but he’s so distracted by you that he doesn’t notice.
Tae and Hobi grin at him, nostrils flaring because they can scent Yoongi's cum on the air. They know. The feral curve of their teeth eggs Yoongi on. He's not pulling out and he's not stopping until your eyes roll back.
Your eyes go wide when you feel it, giggling softly and reaching down to touch your tummy. Nuzzling into Tae's thigh, as much as a response that they'll get. Your giggling cuts off with a broken hiccup as Yoongi starts up again.
Hobi's watching you, fringe in front of his eyes to the point where Yoongi can't read him. Doesn't have the mind to right now, wholly focused on you.
But the tops of his cheeks are pink, and he can’t quite meet Yoongi’s eyes. On the other hand, Tae can’t look away from you, your hand gripping her thigh hard to hold yourself steady through the waves of pleasure and the brutal never ending breeding. Every time Yoongi juts forward, no matter how gentle. It feels like fire.
Out in the hallway someone snarls loud. You fall limp, clenching so hard that you all but force Yoongi out of you, he just laughs, deep and low, before guiding his cock back in. Not finished with you at all yet but not quite letting you cum.
Neither is the heat, licking at the back of your throat. He won't stop fucking you no matter how many times you almost cum, at least not until the fire ebbs. You hiccup, squirming.
"No pup, we're not done yet. Just a little more, just a little more and then you can cum, are you gonna make it pretty and squirt for me? I know mommy wants to see you all messy."
He’s jogged out of his reverie by the appearance of Tae's hands. Covering his, helping, pushing you back against his cock. Her eyes meeting his. You mewl blindly. Blinking away tears that Hobi pauses to wipe away.
Yoongi wishes she’d move so that he could duck down and kiss you. Is almost about to ask her to do just that so he can when she speaks.
“What does she feel like- what's it like?” Yoongi hisses, feeling his cock twitch, feeling you clamp down tighter in response to it. Aware that Tae can watch his stomach tremble on the exhale. Hobi looks away, a bit overwhelmed.
“She’s very-” Yoongi cuts himself off as you push back into him, intent on starting the fucking again. But the others soothe you. Stop your pushing, make you go slow. Thighs trembling, drawing out your pleasure. You mewl but it just gets shushed away by Tae. A mild scolding that just heats your blood further.
"Be good pup, I know you can wait and take your breeding like a good girl." She turns back to Yoongi, completely unfazed.
“Very very wet. She’s warming up. It's Hot.”
Hobi presses you down, hands on your shoulders, keeping you presented and at their mercy. There will be time for roughness and more roughhousing later. You keen at the harsh contact, the feeling of being pinned. Hoseok swallows so hard that the two of them can hear it, but Hobi's dominance is a fragile thing.
“Yeah, she is.” Hobi goes bright red, flushes, stutters. "I meant inside."
“I know what you meant.”
His tongue darts out to wet his lower lip. Hobi's cock jumps in his shorts partially at the embarrassment of his slip-up, and partially because when Tae leans to nuzzle she nips at his scent gland in reward.
Hobi likes this, being made to wait. Different than the way that Tae likes it. But if he stops to think about it he'll get insecure. So he lets the humiliation, the control, wrap around him like a blanket. These are the people he trusts to be vulnerable with. The people who decide when Hobi has a chance to knot or be knotted. Same as you.
How strange it is, to be equal to an omega in heat and a female omega no less. Hoseok is not used to this. Not the same way that he is with Jungkook and Jin and their heats.
It's good that the others are going first, to show Hobi that it's not scary. You peer up at him with unsure eyes. Like you're checking too. Hobi's anxiety is a low simmer. Barely there but not entirely gone. Threatening to flare should something trigger him.
You're not glaring at him, you're just looking. Eyeing him like you know he's anxious. Your hand twitches. And he moves to hold yours before he thinks better. You don't reach for his knot between his legs, already throbbing. You don't do anything but hold his hand, turning away from Tae's thigh briefly to nuzzle into your tangled fingers.
Tae's eyes are dark pools of honey. And her scent spikes, nice. You turn away from Hobi to resist the urge to bite his wrist. Pain and Hobi are not things that you want to put together. Pain and Hobi are things that your brain, even heat-addled, does not like to combine.
You press your face into Tae's thighs. Half under her skirt. Hiding there. Hiccuping, breathing heavy. Unaware of the dynamic emerging above you. She waits for another breath, watching Yoongi. The four of you go still.
Below him, you start to hiccup. It's nice being filled, but you want Yoongi to move already. Your fist tangle in Tae's dress again. Eyes wide and staring blankly, And it’s like you can’t figure out where to grip, where to grab to keep yourself steady.
But all of this is very routine, if they keep you just there, on the edge. build you up and set you down gently, your eventual Orgasam will keep the next wave of heat at bay for a little longer and your body will have more time to recover. It's a balance, giving you what you want and what your body needs.
you mewl and cry below them, sniffling. you've never been denied before. you don't know why, with your tummy already hot and heavy with yoongi's cum, they're keeping you right on the edge.
Tae massages the back of your neck and you pant little mewling breaths against her thigh. it's not a scruff but it's close because a scruff might just make you cum.
You drag your teeth against her thigh when it gets too much, your cute little canines leave little red lines that vanish as soon as they’re there. Tae just coo’s down at you before flicking her eyes up at Yoongi. Waiting and expectant.
She cocks an eyebrow at him and inside of you, his cock twitches. “Were you going to move or….”
“Yeah- sorry,” Yoongi flushes at the momentary awkwardness, the same awkwardness that dissipates immediately as he starts fucking you again.
He’s thankful you’re so vocal. Drowning out the wet slaps and his own broken curses. You’re so wet- the slide is so easy. So good. Your little 'ah ah ah's are so melodic. Joining the chorus of Jungkook's yelps and Jin's snarls.
You’re being touched everywhere, Yoongi’s hands big on your hips, Hobi’s hand down your back, and Tae cradling your face telling you it’s going to be alright. Every touch stokes the fire to burn harder. You like being touched like this, casually while Yoongi has you. You’re close almost from it alone.
Between your legs you start to drip, first down the generous curve of Yoongi’s cock, then onto the nest below. Staining it with the evidence of your sweet surrender.
“There you go,” Hobi says, low and husky as you fall into a rhythm. Your cheek rests against Tae's thigh, panting openly, hiding a little under her skirt. Hobi's finger strokes over your cheek, and you turn away from the touch, not because you don't want it, but because it's embarrassing. Having them watch you so closely like this, at your most vulnerable.
“Awe, pups so shy huh?” Tae teases, and you nod, blinking away tears.
Tae says something far above you, something that sounds too suspiciously like a command, but it's not meant for you. Hobi's hands go to your face and turn you to where they can see you. His thumbs rub up your jaw, cupping your cheeks, and keep you from hiding away in Tae's skirt.
He doesn't say anything and he doesn't need to as your lower lip quivers. There is no one to hide from, no one here that wouldn't love all of you. There is no part of you, dark or pink or otherwise, that these three- Tae, Hobi, Yoongi- don't know yet and love anyway.
Above you sunlight hits Hobi’s hair, turning it red-brown golden. The light Falls on Tae's dress strap too, across Yoongi’s chest and the veins in his hands, throbbing with a heartbeat from here. And you are breathless breathless breath-
“Deeper want it-“
No sooner have you asked for it than is Yoongi adjusting his position. Barely pausing at his steady pace as he hooks an elbow under your knee, all but picking your hips up so he can fuck into you at a punishing pace. The weight of your body pushes him deeper. Hitting a new place inside of you that’s so sensitive you tremble. Popping through some hidden resistance.
Yoongi keeps it steady, not stopping when you gasp, when you drip below you, hitting his legs as you soak the nest below you. Christening the heat nest with the first wave. Your first orgasm that only builds, a first peak that promises another. You gush a little, squirt a little more, every time yoongi slides into you to the hilt.
From this angle you’re completely unable to push back against it. Even less in control and at the mercy of the pace Yoongi sets faster and faster. Carving out a new feeling in you with every thrust. A space in your tummy just for Yoongi, warm and tight and perfect. Pleasure but also hunger for more more and more.
Any other day the wet sounds of your pussy clenching hopelessly around his cock would make him shy- but now all Yoongi can do is give you more. Chasing his building pleasure. A second climax that is stronger than the first. Building you up to your relief as quickly and as gently as he can.
You can’t remember your last heat, the handful of them that you had with Geumjae, you think you were left alone for most of it. You know it wasn’t anything like this.
Hobi pauses and reaches to touch your stomach.
Your eyes shoot open, looking up at him and the half-hardness tenting in his pants. because of you. for you.
Yoongi and you are honest to God so pretty when you fuck. Hobi hasn’t seen this too much before. Sure- little hints of it here and then. both of you tumbling out of the nest room looking sleepy and sated, He's seen Yoongi's hands wander or your touch linger. But this is-
Yoongi is so gentle with you but also firm. Dominant in a way that takes Hobi's breath away and makes his head feel fuzzy. Forcing you back on his cock, punching little “ah ugh’s” from your throat. So gentle in the way that he takes you apart. unyeilding in the pleasure he demands from you.
And the dirty talk-
"Right there yeah? That's the spot that you like isn't it? cute little omega you're doing so well. So cute, don't worry, i'll give you everything you need. I know, it's so much right? It's not too much, i know you can take it, thats my girl- there just like that."
Hobi's going to go insane, Hobi's going to cum in his pants before he's even gotten inside of you. just from the sound of Yoongi's rough voice. husky from the effort. He's already wet, the front of his boxers turning dark from it. Knot already half popped just from watching and-
Tae pulls at your hair, making your neck arch so she can wipe a bit of drool from the corner of your mouth. Cooing, touching your tongue where it lolls out obscene and cute at the same time. Hobi strokes over your stomach, saying nothing, just watching.
He hopes you can’t feel the tremble in his hands or the rapid thunder of his heart or smell his arousal. His hardness, prominent enough that if there weren’t blankets, you’d be able to see. Your eyes are glassy and wide as Yoongi breeds you, Hobi physically sees the haze descend as you get closer and closer to Cumming. Cheeks and chest flushed and pretty. Your eyes flutter closed. Hobi's hands are still on your cheeks. Tae has the same idea.
Your lips open in a perfect little oh. Yoongi thrusts forward particularly hard, and the wet squelch is filthy enough that he almost looks away. Tae's voice is a deep purr.
“Don’t close your eyes honey, I wanna see.” Yoongi laughs at Tae, Teeth gritting.
“Fucking.” Yoongi pants, driving his hips faster. “Bratty” his pace falters, “Alpha.” Tae's pink lips stretch in a smile.
Tae pets through your hair. And it’s gentle but somehow more ruthless that all they do is watch. You’d blush, but your blood is already hot from the heat.
You sob and Yoongi’s face cracks into a grin. “That’s it, there you go for us, cum for me-”
It builds and builds until you’re right on the edge, you stumble over it when the second wave of Yoongi's cum turns your insides hot. That and the barest touch of Hobi's fingers against your clit that has you clenching wildly around him, clenching too hard, almost forcing his cock out if it weren’t for the way he puts his weight behind his next thrust with a broken groan.
Your ears fill with a ringing sound. High-pitched, mind blank. Staring up at Tae without really seeing her. Going just a tiny bit cross-eyed. Just for a second.
When you finally stop seeing stars. Tae is smiling down at you lazily. A satisfied smirk on her face.
Your slick drips down your midline, just a little. You usually get very very wet when the pack gives you proper attention, in heat- your usually slick production is amped up. If you could feel anything right now, you'd be embarrassed.
The world is a collection of sensations. The ringing in your ears. Yoongi's kiss against your mating mark. The sensitivity of your body against the nest; the fabric damp beneath your belly as they turn you onto your back to wipe up your stomach. The blankets replaced. Someone mentions something about getting towels for the next wave and where did Jinnie put them? In the closet or out in the hall?
They set you down gently. Yoongi stretches your leg out straight and makes sure it doesn’t cramp.
There is a drop of water on the end of your nose. You're crying.
Yoongi doesn't move from between your legs, he stays inside. Because an alpha wouldn't move after breeding an omega, wouldn't be able to take their knot out. Yoongi is accustomed enough to omega's in heat to know when to move and when not to. He'll rest here, in your warmth and wet and mess until you tell him to move.
But still, it’s not enough. You cry, cheeks wet, unsure why exactly. The hunger and rabid wanting animal in you is not quiet. The fever does not ease. It hardly even goes down.
Hobi sits up, nervous, about to go bother Namjoon, knotting or not. The hair on the back of Yoongi’s neck stands up. But Tae shushes both of them rubbing your tears away, bending low to kiss them until she moves you off of her lap.
You barely register Hobi's husky voice. “Did so well, so good ug-omega.” Hobi's flush and his shyness escape your notice. But you do peer up at him, lips pressed to the meat of his thumb. Mumbling, sleepy and sniffly.
“Good? Not scary? Not hurts?” You ask, your words a little scrambled from the heat.
He leans low to kiss your brow. Lingering there for a second, leaving his lips there. Make eye contact with Yoongi over the top of your head. Looking sweaty and victorious and a little bit like he’s gloating as he shakes his long hair out of his eyes. Tae's hand splays on his stomach, bullying up behind him, saying something filthy into his ear, before she swirls her fingers through his tummy hair and then reaches lower.
“Not scary at all.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
Your breath hitches, You feel something prod at your sensitive entrance. Something bullying its way in next to Yoongi. The stretch burns but it feels so good. It’s the itch you needed to scratch, the last thing your body was missing. It quiets the fire in you, the flames of wanting ebbing.
You don’t even register that it’s Tae's fingers, sneaking in next to Yoongi and holding you open a little, curling just a bit to simulate the stretch of a knot and press against the scent gland in your pussy, close to your special little spot. Has she had to do this before for Jungkook and Jin? Is this a normal predicament for Yoongi? What does it feel like to have Tae's fingers by his cock and you so warm and wet outside?
Yoongi's pants, pants as Tae…sort of holds his cock while it's in you. He gives a faint twitch and she laughs behind him, hardness pressing against the curve of his hip. Forgotten about it for now.
The extra stretch calms your instincts and the fever ebbs a little. Your sweat cools. Your heart rate slows. Eyelids heavy, starting to get sleepy.
“Thanks Tae.”
You hear the sound of kisses, slow and sloppy as you doze. Comforted by the stretch at your entrance and Yoongi’s cock. You collect moments like seashells. Hobi sprawling out, more relaxed than before. Hand combing through your hair gently. Careful not to snag.
Tae's knees accidentally pressing against your hips. Yoongi strokes up and down your stomach, your sides, everywhere. Your hands pulled to your chest. Unable to focus on anything other than how full and filled you feel. Bred and taken. Claimed by the mark on your throat and the warmth in your tummy. All full, finally full.
The stretch makes you feel a little better- makes the need not quite so frantic. It can wait for later, the need for the others tearing through you. You can take this moment of peace right now.
your mind drifts, the seconds and minutes drifting away.
Warmth comes and goes, There is someone holding a straw with a cup to your lips. Hobi is along your front, half sitting up. The glass is dewy with condensed water. His hands damp.
Was he just standing up? Did he go to the kitchen and leave the safety of the nest just to give you some water, that's so lovely and so sweet. Your instincts tell you that you should let Hobi pup you for that.
As a treat.
You know you won't be awake for long, your thoughts are slippery to hold onto at best. Yoongi rests inside of you and doesn’t pull out. he Lets you cockwarm him and keeps you filled even though he’s going just a little soft. Tae pulls her fingers out once your fever goes down, ebbing until your body temperature returns to a stable baseline and the next wave no longer threatens to flare.
Hobi pokes the straw against your lip, and you suck blindly, obediently. Without opening your eyes. Non-verbal. They’re talking- you register dimly. You don't need to be concerned with what they say, you know they'll look after you regardless of if you're listening.
You rub your cheek against Tae's thighs. You love her thighs, they're so soft and warm. You hope you get to spend all of your heat like this, your head propped up in Tae's lap.
Well…maybe not all of your heat. You'd also like to sit in her lap too, preferably with her knot inside of you. But that can wait, she’s not going anywhere and you’ll make sure of it.
Your fever flares as your heat-addled thoughts run rampant, eyes closed and scent sweetening. It garners the attention of your pack, falling quiet above you.
“Do you think-” There is a hand on your face, your cheek, feeling you for fever. Tae's chipped fingernail polish flashes in the light.
“Not yet. We've got like, half an hour probably? Maybe a bit less?”
The slapping sounds in the hallway have finally quieted and the sound of your pack omega’s purring lulls you into a soft state. Your eyes flutter closed. Jinnie will be here soon, Jinnie is purring so you should purr too.
You fall back asleep, the rumbling in your chest a light lullaby. Above you, your packmates go calm and quiet.
"She smells so calm, it's so- it's so-" Tae rubs down Yoongi’s side, but Yoongi doesn’t look up. Looking down at you, eyes full of some unreadable emotion that is actually not unreadable only because they know Yoongi so well, his breath comes quicker, and he blinks quick.
Lowering his body, getting as close to you as possible. But he doesn’t relax, doesn’t blink so as to not miss a single moment looking down at you. Hand on either side of your body, depressing the nest. Your purring peters off as you actually fall asleep but- but-
Crouched over you, you don't even stir. Your chest rises up and down. Evenly. You nap without worry.
Hobi wants to tell him it’s alright. And it is alright if he needs to cry. Hoseok understands. Sometimes getting what you want finally- the person you love healthy and happy- Can bring up a happy sort of sadness.
Sadness, unfortunately, has its way of sticking around.
You doze below Yoongi, completely unworried and unburdened by any of it, and what a lovely lucky thing that is. For a single moment, Yoongi wishes that nothing would change. That you’d never leave this room and stay just like this. Happy and safe and satisfied forever.
He hovers, lingers in the moment. Tae and Hobi hold him. Letting him process it for a breath or two. The moment will end whether Yoongi wants it to or not.
Tae and Hobi don’t bring it to your attention and you slumber on, unaware. Gently pausing, getting up, abdominal muscles straining. Each of them presses a kiss to either side of your mate's face. Silent in their loveing but Yoongi finds it no less reassuring.
The next time you blink away the haze you can see evening yellow streaming through the window. Casting all of your loves in honey shadows. You don’t think to count for bodies, you’re too focused on the task in front of you.
The very very big task in front of you.
Your instincts sniff it out like blood on easy prey. Your cheek is still on Tae's lap. And there is a scent a few inches from you that makes your fever spike again. Your eyes flutter open and you see it.
Her hardness is right there, poking up through the translucent fabric of her dress. Flush with her stomach and visibly pink and hard. Barely contained by her panties in a way that you know must be uncomfortable.
Tae has such a pretty cock, such an unfairly pretty dick. No doubt, she's still hard because of your heat hormones. Hard and thick and lovely bulging in her skirt. Just looking at it makes your eyes water, your tongue feels slippery and hungry in your mouth.
You start to shuffle forward only to be momentarily distracted by movement in the door.
It’s a little comical the sight of someone so small carrying your big buff omega. Jiminie handles Jungkook like he’s nothing, like he hardly weighs more than a pillow. both of Jimin's hands underneath his knees. Jungkook's arms loosely wrapped around the alpha's neck, kept snug against his front.
Jungkook looks blissed out and dazed. His strong neck and shoulders are bitten up and dotted with red semi-circles. His chest is too- at least from what you can see of it. He's bundled up so close to Jimin's chest, it almost makes his usually muscular form look small. He's probably feeling small and omegaspacy like you are.
He's still knotted to Jiminie judging from the tender and careful way that Jimin carries him.
Jimin deposits both of them in the nest without any unintentional pulling or unknotting the omega. You perk up a little, chin balanced on Tae's knee to watch. Hobi cranes his body, bending backward without getting up, twisting and reaching so that he can get his hand in Jungkook’s hair.
“How is he?”
“Little fucker tried to bite my knot.” Tae giggles, her tummy makes her cock jiggle. You’re so close. All you have to do is press your mouth to the fabric and it will practically be inside. Your tongue is already pushing out and-
She shuffles away, every inch a heartbreak. You are too tired to chirp.
She reaches back mirroring Hobi's position, long chestnut hair spilling in the nest, arching her back and looking at both Jimin and Jungkook upside down so she can tangle her hands in Jungkook’s raven-dark hair. So that her other hand can settle on Jimin’s calf. Sporting several bite marks of his own.
You're too tired to whine or chirp to get her attention. But across the nest, Jungkook shifts. Restless.
“Do we need to muzzle you like we muzzle Joonie, Koo?”
Koo has little more than a huff in response. Uncharacteristically tired after being thoroughly put through his paces by Jimin. But it’s only the first wave, and like I said, hormones take a while to build
For everyone, not just omegas.
Whatever quiet moment Jin and Namjoon are having in the hall comes to an end as Namjoon carries him in, bridal style and no longer knotted to the pack alpha. Not all of you can be as dexterous as Jimin is. Jin doesn’t look like he minds, happy to be placed next to you. Taking Hobi's spot or close to it. It's almost like Namjoon puts Jin on top of your little puppy pile.
It's where Jinnie wants to be, on top of his pups.
Namjoon’s hands linger, but only just, he stands up straight but then ducks down to run his fingers through Yoongi’s hair, messing it up.
“Oh, my fucking god-” Yoongi says, a little incredulous. Already flushing even though Namjoon hasn't even spoken yet.
“Proud of you,” Namjoon says. A grin that is ever so slightly hassling on his face.
Yoongi's cheeks and ears go splotchy. “I’m fucking my mate Jonnie, it’s not something I need a participation trophy for.”
“We could get you one- engrave it ‘best cock in the fucking world’ or something. whatever you want.”
“Is that a compliment or an insult?”
“I was hoping you’d take it as some light flirting, but I’ll take what I can get.”
“I’m literally still inside of our omega and you want to flirt with me?” He’s more perplexed than he is annoyed. He looks a bit like a fluffed-up cat, astounded to realize the toy he's been caught playing with is, in fact, plastic and not a mouse.
Beside you, Hoseok flushes and you know it has everything to do with Yoongi calling you ‘ours’ and not just ‘mine’. Namjoon got the job done. Yoongi is no longer looking down at you like he might cry.
“He called your cock great; I think that hardly classifies it as ‘light’” Tae says.
“Guys, I am literally still-“
Jimin pushes Jungkook to the side, all so that he can grind his knot in again, deep, still not going down enough to pull out. The omega lets out a choked whine, at Jimin’s mercy. “I am too- never stopped me.” He turns to Tae. Hips rocking in circles. Absent-minded.
Jungkook tangles a fist in the nest and takes it with sweet little 'hng' noises. “That dress is honestly-“ Jimin trails off, Jungkook lets out an aborted whine at the pulsing in Jimin’s knot.
Tae just raises her eyebrow at him. If Jimin wasn’t red before he is now, especially once her eyes flick down to where he’s knotted to Jungkook. Pushing at his streached rim. Little cock helplessly weepy. His abdominal muscles faintly glossy from drying slick.
Yoongi splutters and you smile against Tae's thigh. Purring your agreement with Jimin. Now if only your hands would cooperate in taking off her dress or at least hike it up-
But Jinnie shuffles over. Still a little non-verbal in Omegaspace, just like you and Kookie. But to the point where his sentences are broken but sure, said with a pout and a command.
“Needed to check, needed to make sure." The others move for the pack omega, parting like the river over a stone. you don't immidatly register it, letting out a petulant whine when yoongi starts to move away.
Jinnie touches your tummy gently, delicate in the way that he sets palm against flesh. Finding it swollen and heavy. Perfectly soft and delicate. He touches you like someone would touch a flower, worried about the slightest brush too bruising.
You’re momentarily distracted by it. The warm heat of Jin’s palm, the flushed pout to his lips and cheeks. Pretty- your pack omega is so pretty in heat. You look up at him, sprawled. Yoongi twitches hardening inside of you as Jinnie bends low to nose at your stomach. Dark hair tickling your belly button.
Jin presses his nose just above your waistline and sniffs deep. when he breathes out it's a purr. Loud and satisfied.
He picks himself up and looks down at you with eyes that reflect no light, no anything. Dark and round like stones. "Bred omega, good packmate, good-"
Outside a bird putters close to the window. Jimin’s head jerks in it’s direction. Taught body relaxing the second he realizes it. Namjoon blinks down at you and Jin slowly.
Yoongi is still somewhat hard but pulling out, and even though it's been 30 minutes since you came, it still garners him a small mewl of displeasure from your throat. He doesn’t let any of his cum slip out. Forcing the little that does come out back in with the tips of his fingers.
but jin needs to see, needs to check, he pulls apart the dewy folds of your cunt with his fingers, nuzzling with his nose, you're so sensitive you jerk, all but mewling when he dares to lap at your entrance. soothing where you got stretched. happy to find you unharmed.
You twitch and tremble. Above you, Tae laughs.
Jin's voice is a deep hiss. "More- more not yet." He rubs his face into your stomach and thighs once more, makeing sure you're scent marked, that the alpha's who defile you will be able to smell him on you before they knot you. before he gets up on his knees and scents them. Hobi first, then Tae, then Yoongi.
He might get a little bit of your slick on them, his cheeks wet in patches with it. it's a little goss but honestly, Jin doesn't notice.
"Good pups. Best pups"
Above all of you, Joonie looks on fond. His knot is still half-inflated at the base of his cock. Still hard and achy and yummy, looking entirely too large to be real. As is normal. Everyone is bare besides your trio that helped you through your first wave and as you realize this, Jin tugs at Hobi's boxers. Displeased.
But you are not paying much attention to Hobi and Jin, still looking at Namjoon. At his knot between his legs. You clench down hard when you look at it, Yoongi’s fingers direct your gaze back up to him. Raising his eyebrows almost in challenge.
Namjoon's scent thickens on the air, but so does Tae's
Hobi ducks away at Jin’s attention and Jin won't let him rest, sniffing at the hollow of his throat, all but backing Hobi up against a wall. Like Jin’s worried he doesn’t believe him. “Best pups” he repeats again, like he's worried hobi doesn't belive him.
“We haven’t even done anything yet-”
“Still. Best. Pups.”
You turn to Hobi, whining, and finally breaking your eye contact and the weird half-tension between you, Namjoon, and your mate. Namjoon finally gets off his feet. Sinking into the nest and shuffling up behind Jin, half pinning him to the nest. Distracting him from quite literally herding Hobi by pawing at his legs. Jinnie has pretty legs, strong thighs and muscular calves. They part when Namjoon prods, more instinct than conscious choice.
Namjoon's hands shift the pack omega's legs apart and start to guide his cock back, not for another round but maybe for comfort. Perhaps he's been influenced by Yoongi's cockwarming to soothe. (That's a nice idea, isn't it? All of their omega's warm and bred full, all at once). Obviously trying to settle whatever instincts are currently rocking through Jinnie.
But Jin makes a noise, alarmed and not entirely interested.
Namjoon is already half inside but he pulls Jin off his cock anyway. His knot falls, heavy and wet with slick and spend against his thigh. He sets Jin down. “Fuck.” The pack omega throws his head back against the nest and blinks away his daze the same moment that Jungkook sighs and pushes back against Jimin before the elder of the two finally pulls his knot free with a gentle hiss.
You assume, more than see- as Namjoon’s hand finds its way between Jin’s thighs to push his spend back into the omega’s hole. You still don’t know how Jin manages to take Namjoon unprepped- even inside of heat.
A whine starts to build while you look at it, how are you supposed to choose?
“Wanna switch?” Namjoon offers reading the pack omega in the way that only sort of soulmates do. You perk up, trying to push yourself onto your palms unsuccessfully.
Jin nods, messy hair fluffing. “Too sleepy, can’t sleep on your knot, s’too-” Jin licks his lips, eyes darting down to look at it. “-Distracting.”
Jimin’s hand is already on Jinnie’s ankle and Jk sits up on his hands and knees. He and Tae make eye contact and before you know it he’s shuffling over to her and she’s starting to shift.
It’s casual like that- your alpha’s talking about which omega to breed next and who needs it most. You’re the only one still blissed out and at ease. Maybe just because you had three packmates to settle you and they only had two.
But you don’t like it. The way that Tae moves away from you.
Your attention ping-pongs back and forth from Namjoon to Tae. Completely unaware of the pack alpha's dark eyes on you. The thing about omega's in heat is that they're a little bit dumb.
Jungkook watches you move, watches Tae jostle you. Pupils dilating in alarm. His own pleasure momentarily forgotten. Your hands tighten on Tae's thighs, a needy whine building in your throat.
“Wait- my mommy- mine-” You chirp. But Tae is already moving away.
And before the others can even breathe Jungkook is jerking in Tae's direction. Lip lifted in a soundless snarl, answering your call first. The quickest.
“Kookie don't you dare.” "omega." “Wait don’t-”
Jk is quicker and stronger in heat. Too quick for Jimin to grab him or for namjoon to dive. He jolts, but at the last second you curve your arm over Tae's hip and his teeth hit you and not her. Hissing and spluttering, a smarting pain that honestly to God shocks you.
Jungkook’s teeth are still embedded in your skin as you look down. Cheeks hot, eyes wide. the rest of the pack falls silent. A bit stunned. But Jungkook just hurtles on, crouching over you and growling and hissing. Jungkook’s nose presses hard into your cheek as he bares his teeth. Licking them. glaring up at tae. “My pup- mine- alpha bad- alpha made omega sad-”
Tae lets out a crushed sound, upset.
Namjoon wastes no time, the first one to move after being shocked still. Getting up on his knees only to drag Jungkook back and away from you. Drawing him over his lap in quick succession, landing several swats over his ass. hard and loud. landing one over his cock for good measure and jungkook folds, breathing heavy. After the third hit to his cock, Jungkook’s yelps become moans.
Namjoon gives him no mercy when he pulls him onto his cock in one fluid movement, not bothering to prep him. Jungkook likes the sting, the stretch. Eyes rolling back.
Tae pulls you up onto her lap. Her cock trapped between your stomach and hers. But she’s not looking at your face but at your wrist. Yoongi shuffles behind you, inspecting it tilting it gently so that the red marks catch the light and they can see the damage jungkook did.
Your skin already already going purple and dark from a bruise.
“Are you alright- are you-” You are not worried about the pain in your arm, only the searing need between your legs. Tae has you in her lap, right where you want to be (unless?). You fumble with her skirt. Tearing it this way and that, hungry and insistent.
Her knot- you need her knot. You grind your hips together hot and filthy. Your pussy against her cock, her dress trapped between both of you. The fabric is rough even though you can feel her body heat through it.
“Mommy- mommy please-”
The room spins, and you're so dizzy you can't even think straight. Jungkook biting you must have sent you hurtling into your next wave of heat, which is not good. Not good at all. If your spikes are too close together at the beginning of your heat then they just won't end at all. A prolonged fever is too dangerous.
She barely pauses before she pulls up the hem to her skirt, letting her cock- pink-tipped and pretty- pop free of the honestly tiny panties, the bow at the front crumpled. You rub against it, turning it wet. The fire flows, sparking hotter and hotter and hotter. She grabs your hips, alarmed.
But Yoongi grabs your waist. Keeps you from putting it inside your hole, clenching around nothing, empty. You wail. You want it. Yoongi tucks his chin over your shoulder, hands running up and down your sides to try and soothe you.
"Wait little honey, let's get mommy nice and wet like this first." He guides you like that, to rub your cunt up and down Tae's length, every push of the head of her cock through your pussy makes you moan and twitch, wetter and wetter. Tae looks down, and it's not just your slick, but Yoongi's spend wetting her cock. Creamy, milky white tinged clear. Fuck.
at the base of her cock, her knot skin feels tighs and swollen, you rub low, getting it nice and wet too.
Yoongi does not let you go further, does not let you put in. his voice is husky in your ear.
"I want you to cum like this before you have her, you have to show Mommy how messy you get just from this, have to show her you're good for a knot too. A big pretty cock like that won't fit in unless you're nice and wet okay honey? You're too tiny to take it without cumming first and besides-" yoongi hesitates.
"don't you want to show them? jinnie and joonie and kookie?"
You nod, eyes glassy. Outside of heat, you might not believe him but right now Yoongi's words are gospel. At least your fever stops it's climbing, it doesn't get any better, but it doesn't get any worse. yoongi heaves a sigh of relief.
You really are unable to choose when you're in heat like this. It's not just useless talk. It really should be left up to Yoongi or the others, or else you'll hop from knot to knot, the heat fever frying your body and brain.
When you look over, Jungkook rides Namjoon. Facing you and pouting. Parting his legs so that you can see where they join. Mumbling something unintelligible that the others can’t make out. But your packmates keep you separated on opposite sides of the nest.
Behind him you hear the hush. “Is Koo? Rejecting her?” they hardly dare risk saying it out loud. “I don’t think so.” But still, the pack is not quite sure what just happened. why jungkook tired to bite you after tae moved away from you.
Deep in Jungkook’s chest, his instincts sing. My pup, alphas need to stay next to my pup, the pup needs pretty alpha. But words remain as effervescent as lucidity, the words just out of reach
Tears hover at the edge of your waterline, across the nest Jungkook watches you, sniffling too. Every time he even thinks of squirming away from Namjoon’s knot to get to you the alpha pulls him back onto it. After a few thrusts, Jungkook is too heat-addled to think straight. Too fucked up to glare at you (he's not glaring, he's staring at you with determination.)
In the nest still lying prone, Jin yawns, stretching out, toes curling. Showing off his cum stained tummy, his flushed cheeks, and the pretty round curve of his body. Raising his eyebrows at the alpha’s in your nest.
Your nest. Yours’s, Jin’s and Jungkook’s. Full of your pretty alpha’s with their pretty knots.
Tae's cock rubs up between your legs, head bumping against your clit and you jerk, only to be met with Yoongi's sushing.
It's so different to have them so close, to have them fucking right here close to you. You're almost more interested in watching Jungkook and Namjoon fuck than you are in getting fucked by Tae. Almost. Your body grids forward unbidden. Eager even if your mind is hazy.
Jin's a bit more lucid (the three of you share a single brain cell in heat, and Jin will keep it in his front pocket for the foreseeable future.) Your packmates sit at attention watching as Jin parts his honey thighs just a little in invitation. His cheeks are rosy as he raises an eyebrow at them.
“Well? Who’s next?”
Three hands shoot into the air. Then after a moment, you shakily raise your hand too.
~-~
Come tell me what you liked about this chapter!
Notes:
part of me did not like the intro of this chapter like at all, almost deleted all of it so many times but? it's so hard putting so much effort into parts of this series that i know will probably never see the light of the final version and then choosing to delete them, like yes the wordcount might be high and this stuff might be a little wordy but? people always wanted more of bily so even months later i'll give it to them.
so i re-read a really good fanfic that was set in like, victorian/viking stuff? and it totally altered my brain chemistry and i feel as though i was writing in a way thats a bit more like, old timey? maybe you can tell because i felt like this chapter was alot more like- flowy than usual.
honestly i'm super proud of the line "Flip-flopping until Jungkook can’t tell if it hurts too much to keep going or if it feels too good to stop." like ugghhhhhhhh thats a good one.
also the line 'each nickname more loving than your own name.' was a very very small refrence to call me by your name, just a little. i do think that the m/c is not very comfortable with her own name, or your name- whatever that may be like- it's very clear that i avoid using y/n as much as possible. i think it appears in the story a good like 10 times after almost a million words? (i double checked and it in fact appears 21 times in the entire story- thats actually mind boggling to me tbh)
the part where yoongi is talking about how healthy the m/c looks was directly inspired by a conversation i had with @trifoliumrex because her ideas are always always so impossibly good i can't resist putting them into the story.
if it's not clear, yoongi is definitly feeling the effect of the m/c's addictive slick and her hormones, he is equally as heat addled as the pack is, he's just never felt the true effects of an omega in heat before because he's never been mated to the person in heat so yeah- it's the mating mark! this won't be the last time we see him acting like an alpha because of the marks.
yoongi *his cock almost in the m/c* so who you fuckin? m/c: the fuck? you?
can we just apreciate how ridicilously hot it is that tae's tiddies jiggle when she growls like??? fuck me right?
now personally i love woumb fucking but i know it's not everyones cup of tea so i hope i skirted by it just perfectly
that moment where yoongi is talking about how there's no one alive whose felt her in heat is a direct dig at geumjae. yoongi does hate him a lot you know- even if he couldn't kill him.
i am so soft for boys that cum too quick but also have no refractory period like i am so into it it almost makes me feel like i'm not a lesbian. i think it's so /cute/.
tbh, i think it's actually fucking adorable how it's thoughts of namjoon penetrating the m/c that has yoongi cuming too soon. like fuck he's so into how namjoon fucks her and how big his cock is- do we think yoongi has a size kink and that that itch is scratched by namjoon fucking her? like just imagine at the begining it was namjoon fucking yoongi that got him off and then he goes out and gets a mate thats even smaller than him who could hardly take namjoon's cock at the begining...ugh i love that.
(tmi but) i always end up subconciously edging myself when i write smut chapters because obviously this is all stuff i'm into and i've got to sit and finish it and wait to like... take care of myself until after i'm finished or else my interest in writing goes away immideatly. i just know that if mommy tae where here she'd make me cockwarm her while i write the chapter and that is a fantasy i'm going to reward myself with later.
i think that this chapter sounds and feels alot different because the process was so drawn out and so much different than other chapters because i had to pause.
i realized while editing this that i needed more of hobi in it so! i hope you enjoy how the wordcount jumped!
yoongi is so horny but also hopelessly sentimental in this my god.
the m/c is so dumb and horny in this chapter like what do you mean she wants namjoon and tae's knot both at the same time? like she can't even take one of those at once without prep normally let alone both-
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i say it every time dan mentions it but i get so emotional whenever dan talks about 2018, the pre-coming out era. he might be playing it up a little, but it always sounds so laced with guilt for not coming out sooner. i wonder if he thinks, or thought, that there was resentment from us. i hope he know there isn’t and never was. that them choosing to come out at all means the world but even if they never had, we’d still be here. i understand him, and phil, the feeling of just looking through the window without being able to participate because a part of you is hidden. i can’t imagine what it was like noticing that their audience is predominantly queer.
i’m just really proud of them.
#im so tired this is like half assed but. they mean the world to me#i dont think theres much wisdom i can give to either of them and i dont think they’d need it#but man. i hope they don’t actually feel guilty. because there’s no reason to be.#parasocially insane of me but yknow i think u all will understand me#dan and phil#phan#nebulae.speaks
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cry tears of puddles on ground here some incoherent snippets of what text partner about silco jinx father daughter dynamic that am going insane over rn hands n knees on ground begging sobbing n too busy do that to clean up or be coherent - n idk how much actual media analysis support by show evidence n how much it just me imagine things self insert wishful thinking - n there also may be from a few to many undescribed screenshots of season 1 because god have 100+ in camera roll
.
weak for father child esp found father child trope imperfect father but i will love you unconditionally i will try to be the best father can be for you even if i am irreparably messed up and so are you & imperfect child traumatized act out slowly losing grip with reality n will lash out will be rebellious ruin us all but you’ll be the best father i’ve ever had
(no diss on vanco tho)
him clumsily lift arm n hesitate n not know what to do not know if he should do not know how to do
subtle facial expression from “what’s going on what do i do” -> sadness (for powder n for his younger self) -> anger n determined n vengeful (for power n for his younger self) in span of seconds
“you’re my daughter. i’ll never forsake you.”
“don’t cry. you’re perfect.” AS HIS LAST WORDS
“show them. we’ll show them all” his voice echo after his death as she shoot missile. n she did. she did!!!!! to have so many people growing up not believe in her think her useless say that to her face - n her figure out how to use gemstone BY SELF with no previous guide!!! with no upside tech with only what she can get there!! build bombs now even viktor n jace n those people say near impossible disassemble without explode in face. n entire time silco believe in her BELIEVE IN HER SUPPORT HER. WE’ll show them. WE. n THEY DID!!!! they did!!! together!!!! he’s dead by time she fire missile but they really did. the fact his voice echo with her as she do it, fact that animation flash to his body as she do it— also fact that. every step of way they did. she top most demanded by name person, most threatening person.
doctor scene “are you ready to lose her” “she can take it.” FATHER
believing in her bc she can because she HIS daughter n HIS daughter can take it n also believing in her because he needs to he needs her so she will take it she make it she HAS TO because he can’t lose her he can’t be without her
a father who did objectively HORRIBLE things. with SHITTY morals but also REALLY HOPEFUL (word choice) ones in twisted way.
be complicated character who is shitty for flooding undercity with drugs be drug lord but in same time doing that because he truly want zaun freedom - like think it important emphasize its. not HIM be ruler of zaun at least not directly phrased that way but fact that zaun freedom. like he very much could just directly say “one day zaun be free n am rule over” but he didn’t say second part. he not altruistic by any means but also!!!! he is???
all that complicated cruel will-do-anything-to-achieve-his-goal-beyond-himself villain-ness in direct contract with having the ONE SOFT SPOT of his daughter who FUCKS SHIT UP who is DIFFICULT who UNCONTROLLABLE UNPREDICTABLE n he loves her UNCONDITIONALLY he spoils her gives her so many lee way
the fact that someone so fucked up someone so actively make things difficult for him. can be loved
no am don’t have issues at all
also calling jinx difficult n fucked up n ruin things with all love in world not in derogatory way. because. it’s like. am fucked up. am difficult. am severely traumatized. am want burn whole world down for leaving me behind for betray me. in many people eye am more trouble me than am worth. n idea of. a father who love me just the way that am call me perfect. even if. [ ].
n to call someone like that. perfect
n to. mean it.
to genuinely see n treat her as perfect
even after she mistakenly shoot you killing you - to be constantly put in jeopardy by her fucked up ness to be harmed n killed by her fucked up ness. to see mistake as just that - mistake. n to forgive you for that no questions asked to love you unconditionally despite that or even because of that. for her mistake cost you your life n for your last word be tell her don’t cry, that she perfect.
down to willing give up his whole dream whole goal whole purpose he fought for all these fucking years - thing he gave his entire life towards.
because he refuse give her up he refuse leave her abandon her use her as pawn
“you’re my daughter. i’ll never forsake you.” like genuinely truly believe he mean this he truly won’t take the deal with upside even if that mean zaun freedom because he refuse abandon jinx. he not just saying it to be manipulative or just saying be lying because he’s tied up with her have gun beside her he know she very much may fire
his “everyone betrayed you/us but i’ll never. am gave you everything” may be see as “you have no one but me” manipulative n maybe is but more importantly think that like. he genuinely believe that. like that his entire character origin. his entire motive.
the fact that she killed him n he don’t blame her one bit.
the fact the villain character clumsily learning how to take care of a child
he truly see her n treat her like her daughter not a pawn not a subject. more times than not instead of have her on leash as his subject he is leashed by her
to be so utterly broken n love someone
to be so utterly broken n be loved unconditionally by someone
two character who betrayed by entire world by people who once closest to them
n him swearing that he will never ever fucking do that to her. that they may not have other people they may have entire world against them but they have each other
n him FOLLOWING THAT down to his last breath
him not following that would have make his life n make more than his life so much easier
BUT HE REFUSE TO
also he didn’t betray her by lying to her that her sister is dead he genuinely believed her sister dead. leading to the funniest frame n line ever
“FROM THE DEAD???????”
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I just love my sisters
#stating the obvious#but#I just can’t imagine a world without them#they’re my babies#and best friends#im so grateful im able to call them my siblings#im glad im now able to let go over the resentment I had when I was younger#they couldn’t help being born how they were#I try to be more receptive towards them#I miss them sm rn#I can’t wait to go home#conflictingly they r my world
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mmmk cardea playing a somewhat larger role because she’s the only one who they might be able to talk to without splitting between her greek/roman self…. (did the fully one sided gods still cease contact w demigods? ermmm)
also yess the kids not even realizing they can’t contact the gods bc they’re all just thinking abt bruce…. mmmm tim thinks it’s a little too quiet but he doesn’t question it.
also the original plan of mortal tim only to accidentally make him the bridge between the two camps in the midst of a war….. ok..
and on steph and cj. my thought was cardea bringing steph to camp. idk in hopes of her possibly staying, but doing a tour explaining what she is, her power set, more about the gods (bc let’s be real she along w all of the batkids would have at least some knowledge on greek/roman myths, with what u learn on school and being bruce is close with motherfucking wonder woman (also thinking about how diana would fall into this world. would she come to the manor when the gods stop talking? is she aware of the divide? is she just as lost as the rest of them? who knows)
but cardea basically giving steph her intro into the godly world (well none of the other kids got that. i wonder if they wish it was something they had instead of figuring it out on the streets or through a giant mark above their head) i mean obvi steph would refuse the year round living at CJ, but it would be fun for her mom to pick her up, send her a pegasus for her to train with CJ’s equipment, for a bit, i mean she won’t be gone long. but cardea is the only god i could imagine doing something like this for one of her kids
but hmmm cassie and tim. i did forget for a second that the mist can also affect demigods and k was like CASSIE AND TIM IN CALIFORNIA MEETING OTHER DEMIGOD. but like. no i remember it being stated that if greek and roman demigods came across eachothers path the mist would hide them lol
ALSO YEAH like wtf bro IM in california… YOURE in california…
(kon, bernard, steph and jason al somehow managed to go be in the same room and tim is just. completely confused) could also be venus turning some emotions up lmaoo
if venus was there she would’ve found tim’s little thoughts abt jason grace soo funny
BUT YESS tim and steph deserve a little trip to CJ <3
i was trying to think which of the other kids would actually want to go to CHB but i don’t think any of them would? i would’ve said duke but he’s not a greek demigod, dick maybbeeeeee? (but bro ur pushing 30 what r u doing) maybe babs would be down to go for research? i think she would want to talk to chiron abojt stuff, maybeeee dionysus too. tim would bring steph to CHB after they go to CJ (didn’t they set up like a portal thing after the war? idk)
also completely out of left field but you know how Bernard was gonna be sacrificed by the Children of Dionysus cult?? I don't think it was explicitly stated in the comics what the sacrifice was for exactly (I don't remember seeing anything when I read it, but maybe i just missed it), but I've seen people suggest the idea the possibility that he would have been possessed by Dionysus. imagine if that was really the case in the PJO-verse, like the cult are some mortal fanatics who obviously don't know how the Greek gods work, but they're trying to summon Dionysus.
i'm just imagining Tim processing the whole affair later and ranting about it, and Venus with a glass of divine wine in her hand like "what's the big deal? you know, one time Bacchus and I-" "MOTHER!" like yea Tim knows that it's a god thing, it's been very well documented, but he'd rather not be dating his (*does the mental calculations*) first cousin once removed??? Who also slept with his mom??? "i'm just saying that he does this thing with his tongue-" "MOTHER PLEASE"
(boo, let her have this okay? no one's had any juicy drama lately, even the other bats' love lines have been so BORING. she needs something entertaining to liven things up. hm, actually, speaking of bats, maybe she could pay Batman a visit later...)
venus just. dropping the most diabolical tea that tim has NO desire to hear is soooo funny. and its not like he can get rid of her. like. ur gonna get rid of this goddess ???????
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Sammy pushing away her trauma with that “I've already forgotten” line is so real for a lot of farm kids, like damn.
#no but actually#sammy gutierrez#camp cretaceous#jwcc sammy#jurassic world camp cretaceous#trauma dump in the last few tags#I have a few stories but one of the more prominent ones is when#I was (still am) a vegan and took an agricultural class#(my first mistake)#we had to raise chicks that were going to be killed and I barely remember them despite the fact we were around them daily#I can’t imagine what it’d be like to live these animals like sammy does and not be able to anything but contribute to it#like - thousands of cattle have been through her farm and killed by her parents and grandparents that’s not something she’d just accept#without majorly desensitizing herself to it and justifying it to herself#they could’ve done more with that imo
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WHEN IT’S COLD
AND THE WORLD ENDS
I WANNA BE HIGH [literally straight edge]
#i was like this with songs about sex too lol#though this is the first song mentioning drugs that i’ve been screaming the lyrics to from the rooftops#like i literally have to stop myself from sending this over and over to the family group chat but that’s why i have adrian#and ash :3 like *picks up my biological son named ashtray* when it’s cold and the world ends i wanna be high him: mah merow <- so true btw#evidence of life#music#y’all remember femcel turbo virgin nun oatmeal yea i do too sometimes i miss them in a strange way it’s not here or there yk i could never#and what literally broke my mind yesterday wouldn’t have happened if i still was that person also i wouldn’t have my precious lil demon baby#like that would be absolutely tragic if i existed without him :(((#i just can’t imagine a world without him rubbing on my leg hairs purring and meowing </3 he is the best on the welcome home committee#committy? commkitty??
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still thinking abt the tumblrinx i encountered a while back whose pinned post said they were transmasc… and also demanded that men dni
like—i’m not confused by the convoluted not-like-the-other-boys doublethink that gets you there, i can follow the chain of illogic just fine, but i sure am deeply wearily depressed by it!
#i know plenty of good men—good cis men even! gasp!#and i just think like. if we can’t move away from‚ like‚ cold gender war how the fuck do we move forward#fundamentally like. 100% block people who have behaved towards you in ways you didn't like.#but like. this whole thing where ~afabs~ preemptively self-victimize by conjuring up the creepiest cishet man they can imagine#and self-harm by worrying abt that imaginary guy jacking off to them#is just like. i understand how it happens but it’s like. you’re actively doing negative visualization#and‚ like‚ preemptively self-victimizing#ime it feels a lot better to move through the world unworried‚ in the knowledge that if someone says sth gross to you: you can block them!#anyway ultimately i’m pretty clearly making this post bc i'm overdue to unfollow the tirfiest blogger i’m currently following#like. yeah loads of cishet men are shitheads but ~misandry~ is so last decade#and frankly i don’t have a lot more time for the cishet women who have bought into the same system—like i have some sympathy but.#these people all get warped by the system into complementary fucked-up cogs whose teeth bite into one another#and i’m just not interested in biting back—i want to leave all the biting behind in the dust of the junkyard that birthed it#and like. i don’t want to dismiss the oppression that births this sort of rhetoric. it's super real and it's toxic and it fucks people up.#but it’s like. when people have bad dads and then are like Dads R Always Bad!!!#and i’m just over here like. i don’t know how to say this without sounding like i’m invalidating you but my dad was a fucking saint tbh#not perfect dgmw but like. a sweet gentle encouraging man who got ground down by my mother’s toxic heel along with the rest of us#so like. actually not only are you closing yr eyes to a better future‚ yr closing yr eyes to other ppl’s lived realities#like i personally managed to have a totally life-ruining mother without deciding Mothers Are Ontologically Evil Actually!#idk. obviously women remain *enormously* systemically oppressed! but surely we can acknowledge and decry that without#implicitly rhetorically closing off any possibility of a gentler queerer gender dynamic?#anyway none of this is revolutionary i’m just like. i KNOW the fascists want to cut off my toes and force me into the glass slipper#of viciously constrained femininity#that in turn makes itself feel better by sneering at men‚ critiquing other women who Do It Wrong‚ and exerting control over children#so i have strong personal cause to care about misogyny even if i didn’t care about it in the abstract#but i just think like. acting like traditional gender roles and dynamics are a fixed truth we can only bruise ourselves on#instead of a human construction that we can undermine and work to topple#is not actually the path to a healed world in the long run!#anyway. beta edition post (thumbtyped & not reread): may contain bugs.
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“Who else would ever stay?
Who else would ever stay?
Who else is going to love someone like me?
Who else is going to love someone like me that’s marked for death?
Who else is going to be with me when I breathe it all?
Who else would take your place and hold and keep me safe?”
#Emma Ruth Rundle#Marked for Death#sometimes I feel like we both talked about losing each other a lot but the gravity of it didn’t really stick#in a way it is like we died to each other since then. I mean I talk in the present tense bc it’s easier but it’s all the past#I already had issues letting go and saying goodbye because I hate loss so you can imagine where I’m at now.#Spotify#it’s weird how we called each other soulmates and I just can’t get over how that changed for you at the end#not that I’m like trying to be obsessed my brain doesn’t just get it and I know there are things out there I will never understand#bc they’re not shaped by my experiences or my knowledge and that’s okay.#it’s just that you meant something really special to me so yeah#nobody really gets that and I don’t expect them to and it’s okay#I’ll figure it out I just need to be patient with myself from now on#I need to figure out a way to do that in a world without you
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if i was shiv roy my anger would be biblical
#she’s terrible too but like#jesus fucking christ. can u imagine your whole life youve been raised to think ur lesser cause of ur gender ur fathers both consistently#underestimated you and excluded you due to your gender (and also his general manipulativeness) while in a way being his ‘favourite child’#and the most like him. and you only have brothers and you have to be soooo careful that everyone just doesn’t see u as the crazy woman. and#your dad FINALLY lets u in on the company but obviously it’s just another bargaining tactic and he doesn’t really and your brothers still#leave you out of everything. then he dies and you’re the one he SAID he actualtl WANTED as ceo to your face but for some reason kendall and#roman get to be joint ceo and promise promise promise they’ll let you in on it all but OBVIOUSLY they don’t and they try and screw the deal#you’ve been trying so hard to get without telling you#so yeah you get a little angry and you work with the guy they were screwing over and go behind their back with him. sure i would too. and#your brother wants to elect a fascist who’d probably make it illegal for you to abort that baby you’re pregnant with#(not that you seem to want to and not that you couldn’t anyway even if it was illegal you’re rich; but the point stands)#and your other brother is ‘morally against it’ but still goes along with it all#and ur just in a room and everyone around you is a white guy who will never really be affected by these policies that the president theyre#putting in power is going to enact that are going to kill people#and no one at all will listen to you especially not when they find out you ‘betrayed’ them EVEN THOUGH TBEY DID IT FIRST. and you’re#literally just a hysterical woman to them and you can see it happening and you’re like the most powerful person in the world but you can’t#seem to.. DO anything?#ANYWWY. jesus normally i love yelling at shiv. but jesus fucking christ#i can’t even begin to describe how angry i would be#i felt so angry on her behalf#oliver talks#succession
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i don’t think I’m like actually allowed to be happy or that I even know how to be anymore
#whimsy whispers#this isn’t me asking for permission to be happy by the way#it doesn’t matter if everyone in the world told me I was allowed to be happy I wouldn’t believe them and it wouldn’t make me like able to#suddenly be happy either#idk this post hasn’t got a point#everything just feels bad and hopeless and sad and idk what to do anymore when existing sucks so much and I know I’m never going to be happy#I just feel like I’m being suffocated or drowning or something#rn is actually a better day because I feel fairly empty which is far preferred for being in tears#like I just don’t know what to do at this point I feel so unhappy and unloved and alone and there’s nothing I can do#I can’t just fix anything I can’t just be happy I can’t make myself be loved I can’t do anything#all I can do is let each day pass by either feeling like it’s the end of the world and wishing that it really were or feeling empty#there’s no relief#it’s not that i want to be like this but I can’t help it#I want to be happy and loved and surrounded by people who love me but as I am I’m unfit for love and I honestly haven’t felt genuinely loved#I’m so long and at this point all I’m doing is making those around me feel worse so isn’t it best if I just stop being in peoples lives#so that’s what I’m up to now#I’ll be unhappy regardless but at least other people will hopefully be happier without me being so sad around them all the time#I make myself tired so I can only imagine how tired everyone else is of me
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