#I hope you feel better soon! my dms are always open :)

[beedlemania]

this week has been really exhausting and i’m just stuck all sad at my house 😭 could you spare any thoughts about lil davy’s before-bedtime routine? I need cute sleepy monkee stuff <3

Of course!!

Davy’s bedtime routine can go one of two ways; either he’s super calm and sleepy and ready for bed or the exact opposite.

Davy’s bedtime is a whole production so usually Mike will give an allowance of an hour to get Davy down to sleep. He has to give Davy a warning to finish up whatever he’s doing, which will always be met with a protest. Davy always claims he’s “not tired!” even if he’s falling asleep on the spot. Micky has the job of taking Davy down to the beach if he’s still full of energy and chasing him around until he’s good and worn out. The only issue Mike has with this is it usually means Davy needs a bath before bed.

Mike usually tries to fit Davy’s bath in in the morning but sometimes it has to happen at night. Mike will make it as warm as possible in the hopes it lulls Davy to sleep. Mike will wash him then leave him alone for a while to play with the bath toys and usually by the time he comes to get him out, Davy’s eyes are all droopy.

Mike helps Davy into his pjs after. If he doesn’t need a bath, mike will put him in his pjs long before bedtime and that a signal to everyone that they’re not allowed get Davy worked up. It also makes it easier later on when Davy’s too tired to lift his arms.

Davys favourite part of bedtime is when Peter pampers him. Peter will give him lots of cuddles and brush out his hair and either Peter or Mike will help him brush his teeth. Peter will wash Davy’s face gently with a wash cloth and make sure he’s nice and clean and relaxed. When it’s hotter outside, Peter will braid Davy’s hair back so it wont annoy him or make him too hot when he’s sleeping.

Bedtime of course means bedtime stories! If Davy still has a bunch of energy, Micky will come in and act out a story for him and make it super exciting to wear out his brain. If he’s already nodding off, Mike will get in bed with him and read him a story calmly. Davy always falls asleep before the end because Mike’s so warm and cozy.

In the summer, it’s a lot harder to get Davy to sleep. He refuses to sleep if the sun is still up and it makes him feel restless in bed. The summer always means Davy will be put to bed then reappear every ten minutes. He also finds it hard to sleep because of the heat (hes from England, hes not used to it). When they can afford the electricity bill, they’ll fill the downstairs bedroom with fans and air conditioning for him. The heat makes Davy cranky at night time and he often asks mike to tell the sun to go away.

If its not too hot, Peter will sometimes get into bed with Davy and hold him for the night. It comforts the both of them and will stop Davy from falling out of the bed. Peter always has bruises on his shins because Davy kicks in his sleep.

[morbidapples]

good luck charm

𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: 𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗇𝖿𝗈𝗋𝖽!𝖺𝗋𝗍 𝖽𝗈𝗇𝖺𝗅𝖽𝗌𝗈𝗇 𝗑 𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗇𝖿𝗈𝗋𝖽!𝖿𝖾𝗆!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖻𝗈𝗒𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽 𝗂𝗌𝗇'𝗍 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗍𝗂𝖼𝗎𝗅𝖺𝗋𝗅𝗒 𝗉𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗌𝖾𝖽 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗍𝖾𝗅𝗅 𝗁𝗂𝗆 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖺𝗋𝖾𝗇'𝗍 𝖺𝖻𝗅𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗍𝖾𝗇𝗇𝗂𝗌 𝗆𝖺𝗍𝖼𝗁 𝗍𝗈𝗆𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗈𝗐 𝖽𝗎𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗈𝗐𝗇 𝗆𝖺𝗍𝖼𝗁. 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗁𝖾 𝗁𝖺𝗌 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗍𝖺𝖼𝗍𝗂𝖼𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝖽𝗂𝗌𝗍𝗋𝖺𝖼𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇.

𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 4,474 words; 24,496 characters

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: penis in vagina sex, oral sex (male and female receiving), fucking on a couch, praise kink, pet names, cursing, art is lowkey kind of a freak here, oral fixation, needy! art donaldson, established relationship, lovesick fools, brief mentions of future plans yada yada ya, reader is also a tennis player.

𝗮/𝗻: hey... i'm ovulating right now so i had to crank out another art donaldson smut fic. i am genuinely obsessed with the man, it's a little scary. but, i am actually starting to write smut more and mayhaps have another art fic coming out soon that involves a kitchen countertop... anyways. this is a medium length piece, not as long as the other art donaldson smut fic, but still a decent read (I hope). Don't be a ghost reader, and if you have any requests for anything, feel free to dm me.

Art loved you. You were always there for him. In the stands at every match, patching up minor scrapes after a fall. You were always there when he needed you.

He craved your attention like a drug, like it was the oxygen he needed to breathe. A bit needy, in your eyes. But you never minded.

"But you always come to my matches."

He had a small frown on his lips, his hands gripping your waist as you stood in front of him, your hands gently massaging the nape of his neck.

You smile softly at him and his antics. "I know, but I have my own match tomorrow. I can't miss it."

His pout deepened, whining a bit as he pulled you down on the couch next to him, his arms wrapping around your waist and pulling you onto his lap, making you straddle his thighs.

"But you're my good luck charm," he whined again, burying his head in the crook of your neck, lips planting gentle kisses over your skin.

Your breath hitches slightly at the feeling of his lips against your skin, but you still manage to speak. "Y- you don't need luck. You're a good player, baby."

He continues kissing, moving upwards to the spot on your neck that he knew you loved, his hands running up your thighs, slowly but teasingly.

"Sure, I don't need luck, but I want it," he mumbled against your skin, his hands now slipping under the hem of your shirt, calloused fingers tracing patterns along your sides.

Your head instinctively tilts back to give him better access to your neck, as you struggle to focus on anything other than Art's mouth pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses to your skin. "Are we really... talking about this right now? It's hard to... think rationally right now."

His lips curved into a smirk as he nipped at a sensitive spot on your neck, knowing full well the effect he was having on you. His hands continued to wander, moving higher on your sides, thumbs gently rubbing over your ribs.

"Thinking never got anyone anything, sweetheart," he whispered, his warm breath against your skin doing nothing to help your current state of arousal.

His lips slowly make their way to your ear, his mouth nipping at the lobe before he spoke again.

"Besides, thinking is overrated. You should just 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭."

With that, his hands found your waist again, and in a swift motion he had you pinned against the couch, his body hovering over yours as he looked down at you with darkened eyes.

His mouth continued its work down your neck, moving along your jaw until he reached your lips, his mouth claiming your own in a deep, passionate kiss.

Art shifts, trapping your legs between his as he grinded his hips against yours, a low growl escaping him as he continued to devour your mouth.

You gasp into his mouth at the sensation, hands holding onto the side of his stomach. You're breathless, hungry for him.

He takes advantage of your gasp, tilting your head back to deepen the kiss, his tongue slipping into your mouth and exploring every inch of you.

His hands move lower, finding the hem of your shirt and starting to tug at the fabric. He breaks the kiss to pull the shirt over your head, tossing it aside before his eyes roamed over your exposed skin.

He leaned down, his mouth returning to your neck, leaving a trail of wet, open-mouthed kisses down your collarbone and between your breasts.

"You taste so good," be murmured, his fingers tracing over the lace of your bra, teasing you as he moved lower to your stomach.

His hands went back to your hips, holding you in place as he continued to shower your skin with kisses. He moved down your stomach, his lips tracing the lines of defined muscles, marking you as his own.

He could feel you squirming under him, your breathing becoming ragged, and he couldn't help but smirk against your skin. He loved having you like this, all flushed and needy, completely at his mercy.

Art's hands moved behind your back, easily finding the clasp of your bra and freeing you from the lace. He pulled away from your stomach to look at you, his eyes roaming over your exposed chest, a hungry glint in his gaze.

"So beautiful," he whispered, his calloused fingers gently tracing the curves of your body. The way he was looking at you made you feel exposed. Vulnerable. It was something only he could make you feel. You were okay with that.

His mouth was on you again, his lips attaching to one of your breasts, teasing and pinching your sensitive flesh. His teeth latch on to your pebbled nipple, nibbling on the hardened bud.

He heard you moan, the sound going straight to his groin, making him grind against you again, trying to get some friction.

He pulled away, his breath hot on your skin as he spoke. "You like that, sweetheart?"

He watched as you tried to nod, your eyes half-lidded, your body arching up against his touch.

He chuckled under his breath, his thumb and forefinger gently pinching your nipple.

"Use your words, baby."

You bite your lip slightly, trying to form a coherent thought, chest flushed and littered with love bites, gaze hazy as you look at him. "Y- fuck, yes-"

He smiled at your response, pleased with the sound of your voice as you spoke.

"That's a good girl," he murmured, his mouth continuing its journey down your stomach, his teeth nipping at the skin.

He moved lower, his lips trailing over the waistband of your sweatpants, his hands pushing the fabric down your legs.

He sat back for a moment, his eyes roaming over your body, taking in the sight of you sprawled out on the couch, completely exposed to him.

He smirked, his tongue poking out to wet his lips as he leaned back down, his mouth attaching to the inside of your thigh.

He left a trail of kisses up your thigh, his teeth gently biting at the sensitive skin. His hands held your hips down, keeping you in place as he slowly but surely made his way to your core.

He inhaled deeply, the scent of you driving him on as his tongue slowly traced over your folds, tasting you. He'd thought about being mean, teasing you, but his own desire overruled that thought process.

He heard you gasp, your body arching against his mouth, and he couldn't help but smirk against you, knowing how wet you were for him.

He continued to explore you with his mouth, his tongue swirling and tasting as he found the spots that made you moan and jerk against him. His hands kept you in place, his strong fingers gripping your hips as he worked you into a frenzy.

You felt like you were floating, the pleasure making your head spin. God, he was fucking good at this.

One of your hands grips his hair, while the other squeezes your breast, giving you that extra stimulation. Your head lolls back against the couch, half delirious and hazy, as you let out needy whines and moans.

"Art- Art, fuck- s' good... so good..."

His mouth never left its place between your legs as he heard you call his name, the sound going straight to his cock. He hummed against you, the vibrations against your sensitive cunt making you squirm even more, your hand in his hair tugging at the locks.

He pulled away for a moment, his mouth slick and shiny with your arousal as he looked up at you.

"That's right, sweetheart. You're being so good for me," he purred, his voice gravelly and low from arousal.

His mouth returned to you, his tongue picking up its pace as he devoured you. He could feel you getting closer, your body tensing, moans growing louder and more frequent.

He held you down even more, his fingers gripping your hips almost painfully as he pressed you into the couch, his mouth never stopping its relentless assault.

Your moans are rising in pitch, voicing his name repeatedly like a prayer. Your cunt is clenching around his tongue, and your chest is heaving up and down. You're going to cum very soon, and he knows it.

He could feel you getting closer, your body practically shaking with need. He doubled his efforts, his tongue working overtime as he pushed you higher and higher.

He looked up at you, watching the expressions of ecstasy on your face as he brought you right to the edge.

"That's it, that's my girl. Come for me," he growled against you.

His words combined with his tongue send you careening into your peak, hips canting up, core clenching, moaning his name almost pornographically.

"Oh, god- fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck- s' good to me, Art-"

He keeps mouthing at you through your climax, prolonging it by never letting up his efforts. He loved this, the feeling of you coming undone under him, the sound of his name leaving your lips in between gasps and moans.

He pulled away once he was sure you were spent, but he couldn't help but tease you just a bit more, his tongue darting out to swipe up the last bit of your arousal.

You whine, hips twitching at the overstimulation. Your gaze is hazy, lips bitten, eyes dilated, as your head tilts back against the couch, half delirious from your orgasm.

He watches you for a moment, a satisfied smirk on his face as he moved up your body, gently pressing a kiss to your stomach before capturing your lips in a deep, possessive kiss.

He pulls back to look at you again, his hand cupping your face.

"You're so pretty like this," he murmured, his thumb tracing your bottom lip where it was bitten red.

As Art's thumb presses into your mouth, your tongue darts out to trace it. He swallows hard as he slips his middle and ring finger into your mouth, and you keep eye contact with him as you suck on his digits, eyes blown wide with desire.

He watches you intently, the way your lips wrap around his fingers and your tongue swirls around them nearly making him shiver in anticipation.

He leans forward, his mouth hovering over your ear as he speaks, his voice low and seductive.

"You look so good with your mouth full, sweetheart."

You moan around his fingers, tongue still coating his fingers with saliva. You've always been a sucker for praise, especially from him.

He chuckles quietly at your response, his eyes darkened with lust as he watches you take his fingers deeper into your mouth.

"You like that, don't you? You like it when I tell you how good you are?"

He pushes his fingers deeper, his other hand holding the side of your neck, thumb rubbing over the skin gently.

You moan again, eyes fluttering. You both have a heavy oral fixation, you know it, and he knows it, too. Your hands go down to his jeans, fingers grazing over his erection. You want to please him, too, just as he had done for you.

He can feel your hand on his jeans, the gesture not going unnoticed as he sees your eyes flutter. He growls lowly, the sound somewhere between a laugh and a moan.

"You want to take care of me too, sweetheart? You want to show me how good you can be for me?"

You whine, needy and uninhibited. You want to make him feel good, too. Your mind is fuzzy with only one thing, him.

He smirks faintly, watching you get lost in the feeling, the sound of your whine making his cock twitch inside the denim confines.

"Alright, baby," he purrs, taking his fingers out of your mouth and gently lifting your chin with his hand.

"You know what to do, don't you?"

You're quick to discard him of his jeans and shirt, and underwear, as you lightly push him back on the couch, his legs spread. You settle in between his legs, on your knees on the floor, sucking and biting the skin of his thighs and hipbones, your slender hands pressing down gently on his thighs.

His head rolls back at the feeling of your lips and teeth on his skin, a low moan leaving his lips. He watches you through half-lidded eyes, his muscles tensing as your touch sends jolts of pleasure through him.

"That's it, sweetheart," he gasps breathily, his grip on the couch tightening. "You're so good to me."

One of your hands move to cup his base, squeezing gently, and you begin to leave teasing kitten licks at the top, the other hand gripping his thigh.

Art hisses at the feeling of your hand on him, his hips involuntarily bucking at the contact, his toes curling against the carpet.

"Fuck..." he gasps, his hands finding your hair and fisting the locks, trying to control himself. "You're playing a dangerous game, sweetheart."

When your tongue runs up from his base to his tip, and flattens against his slit, he nearly loses it. And you haven't even put your mouth over him fully yet.

His eyes are squeezed shut, his chest rising and falling rapidly, his hands trying to ground himself in your hair. He's never felt so wound up, so worked up, the touch of your tongue making him lose his mind.

"Baby-" he gasps, his head rolling back against the couch. "I- I won't last if you keep this up."

When your mouth closes around him, his mind goes blank. It's so warm, so soft, so good. Your tongue is swirling around his slit now, hands gripping his legs as you take him in fully.

Art can't think, can't form a coherent thought, can't do anything except feel the sensation of your mouth on him. His hips twitch, his hands gripping your hair tighter, his breaths coming out in ragged gasps and moans.

"Oh, god-" he gasps, his back arching off the couch slightly. "That's- that's good- s' so good, sweetheart-"

It isn't long before his hips are stuttering forward into your mouth, and you're taking it like it's nothing, mouth wrapped around his cock. You aren't letting up, and he's on the cusp.

He knows he can't hold on much longer, the pleasure building higher and higher, his hips involuntarily bucking into your mouth, needing more friction.

"I- I'm gonna-" he chokes out, his hands gripping your hair tighter again. "I'm gonna- sweetheart, I-"

After a few seconds, you ease off, and he scrambles to get himself the rest of the way off. His hand frantically moves up and down, he's so close, so, so close- he cuts himself off with a strangled moan as he cums, releasing on his hand, and all over your chest, dripping down the valley between your breasts.

He can barely catch his breath, his chest heaving as he comes down from his high, his body shaking slightly from the aftershocks.

He looks down at you, a mixture of satisfaction and awe in his eyes as he takes in the sight of you, your chest covered in his release. The sight nearly does him again.

"You're- you're amazing, sweetheart," he gasps, his voice hoarse from the strained vocal chords. "So fucking good to me."

You look at him then, eyes hooded and half-lidded. Then, you take your index and middle finger, scooping up his creamy spend on them, and suck your digits clean, all while keeping eye contact with him.

𝘖𝘏 𝘔𝘠 𝘎𝘖𝘋. He could come again just from watching you.

Art's eyes widen as he watches you, a guttural moan escaping his lips. "You're going to be the death of me, you know that?"

He reaches down, grabbing you by the upper arms and pulling you up onto his lap, his mouth finding yours in a desperate, messy kiss, tasting himself on your tongue.

You moan into his mouth, hands cupping his face, hips rolling against his. God, you're soaked, he can feel the wetness against his exposed cock.

He breaks the kiss, his mouth trailing down to your neck, biting and sucking at the skin, leaving his mark on you. His hands are on your hips, gripping them tightly, helping you move against him.

He can feel how wet you are, how much you want him, and it drives him wild.

"You want me, sweetheart?" he murmurs against your neck, his breathing ragged. "You want me inside you?"

You gasp, tilting your head back to give him better access to your neck. His cock is hitting the right spots to make you squirm, and that's all you can think about.

"Yes- fuck, please- need you-"

He smirks against your skin, his hands roaming all over your body, leaving a trail of fire in their wake.

"You need me, huh?" he teases, his mouth now on your ear, his teeth grazing your sensitive skin. "You want me to fill you up, sweetheart?"

Your voice takes on a high and breathy tone, bordering on begging. At this point, you are.

"Please, please- I need- need you to fucking fill up- Art-"

He leans back slightly, his eyes roaming over your body, raking over every inch of skin. He takes in the sight of you, desperate and needy on top of him, and it takes all his self-control not to give in right then and there.

He captures your mouth in a rough, hungry, messy kiss, mostly teeth clashing and tongues licking into each other's mouths.

"Get on your knees, baby."

You do as he says, as he places a cushion under your hips. Always thoughtful, he is, even when he's completely feral for you.

He presses hot, open-mouthed kisses to your spine, as he positions you comfortably and prepares you.

He takes his time, his mouth and hands roaming over your back, leaving a trail of kisses and bites in their wake.

He positions himself behind you, his hands gripping your hips, his breaths hot on your skin as he speaks.

"You ready for me?"

You nod so fast he swears you could've given yourself whiplash, moaning softly, needily. "Yes, yes- please-"

He holds your hips steady, his cock pressing against your entrance, teasing ever so slightly.

He leans down, his chest pressed against your back, his mouth by your ear.

"Take a deep breath and relax," he murmurs, his voice almost sultry.

He takes a moment to let you adjust, his hands rubbing soothing circles on your hips, waiting until you give him the okay to continue.

When you do, he pushes into you slowly, watching your face for any signs of discomfort. It's a struggle to not start pounding into you immediately, but he's coherent enough to recognize you need a minute.

You moan once he fully bottoms out, your hands curling into the fabric of the couch, arching up against him. You feel so full, so stuffed.

Art holds you close, his chest pressed against your back, his mouth leaving tender kisses on your shoulder. He takes a moment to gather himself, his breaths coming out in ragged gasps.

"You okay, sweetheart? M' not hurting you?" he asks, his voice thick with arousal, his hands on your hips holding you still.

You take a second to adjust to the stretch, and when you feel like you're ready, you tell him. "I'm good. Y- you can move."

He nods against you, his hand coming up to gently grab onto your hair, pulling lightly to get your attention.

"I want you to look at me. Can you do that for me?"

He watches as you turn your head to look at him, your face flushed and your eyes hazy with desire.

"That's my girl," he praises, his grip on your hair tightening slightly. "Now hold on tight."

Within a second, he's pulled out, turned you over so you're on your back, and gone back in. He wants to see your face as he makes you feel good. And you already look wrecked.

He looks down at you, his eyes scanning your face, taking in every little expression— the way your mouth hangs open, how your eyes flutter shut, the moans and gasps leaving your lips.

"That's it, baby," he murmurs, his hands coming up to cup your face, holding your head in place so he can watch you come apart under him.

He continues to move, slowly at first, his eyes never leaving your face, taking in every reaction you have to his every touch and movement.

He watches as the pleasure builds within you, your body arching up towards him, your hands coming up to cling to his shoulders.

He leans down, his mouth finding yours in a deep, messy kiss, his tongue delving into you, tangling with your own.

He feels your legs come up, wrap around his waist, pulling him even closer, deeper, the new angle making him let out a guttural moan.

You moan into his mouth, as he hits a deeper angle inside, nails digging into his shoulders, leaving half crescent moons in their wake. The room is warm, not only from the hot summer air, but also the heat coming off of both your bodies.

He breaks the kiss, his forehead resting against yours as his breaths come out in ragged gasps. He can feel your nails dig into his shoulders, and the stinging sensation only serves to drive him wilder.

"You're so good to me," he pants, his hands roaming over your body, tracing over every curve and contour. "So goddamn good to me."

He quickens his pace, his hips snapping forward harder and rougher, his eyes locked on yours, not wanting to miss a single expression.

He can't even think coherently anymore. All he can focus on is you. How you feel, how you look. Every noise that is drawn out of you with each thrust of his hips.

He can feel his own release building, the pleasure coiling in the pit of his stomach like a tightly wound spring, ready to snap at any moment.

He continues to move, his motions growing sloppy and erratic as he begins to lose himself to the sensation.

"I'm gonna-" he gasps, his voice strained and uneven. "I'm gonna-"

He's determined to bring you over the edge first. He reaches down in between your bodies, thumb finding your clit, and applying pressure.

You moan, eyes fluttering, lips parting, jaw going slack. Your nails dig into his shoulders, as you clench around him. You're so close, he can feel it.

The feeling of your walls clenching around him drives him insane, the moans and gasps escaping your lips only adding to the sensation.

He keeps up the pressure with his thumb, his own release building, his muscles tense and taut with effort, but he refuses to let go until you've come undone first.

"That's it, sweetheart," he gasps, his voice low and rough. "Come for me. Let me see you come apart."

"F- fuck- Oh, oh god-" His thrusts hit just the right spot inside you, and it sends you careening over the edge, eyes rolling back, voicing his name over and over like a prayer.

He watches as you fall apart beneath him, your body writhing and trembling, the sight of you coming undone pushing him right to the edge.

His movements become erratic, his hips stuttering as he clings onto the precipice, the sensations almost too intense.

"Oh god-" he moans, his voice trembling. "Gonna- I'm gonna-"

When you clench around him again, it's enough to finish him off. He moans hoarsely, hips thrusting through his own release.

His release hits him like a freight train, his hips stilling, his body shuddering with the intensity of it. He buries his face in the crook of your neck, his breaths coming out in ragged gasps against your skin.

"Fuck-" he pants, his grip on you tight, his whole body shaking from the aftershocks.

He tries to catch his breath, his body still slumped over you, his heart racing in his chest. He lifts his head up slightly to look at you, and god, the sight of you, so utterly wrecked and breathless, nearly does him in again.

You look down at him, eyes hazy and filled with affection, as your hand comes up to gently card through his sweaty hair.

He practically melts under your touch, his eyes fluttering shut for a moment as he lets out a contented sigh.

He moves slowly, carefully pulling out of you, trying not to hurt you. He then collapses beside you on the couch, his head resting on your stomach.

"You're going to be the death of me, y'know that?" he mumbles sleepily, his voice rough but fond.

You laugh quietly, a faint smile appearing on your face. "That wouldn't be so bad, would it?"

No, it wouldn't. It really wouldn't, he thinks. You are marked with love bites, put there by him, you're this wrecked because of him. You love him.

He grins at your comment, his eyes drifting up to take in the sight of your marked skin. He feels a sense of pride at the sight of the love bites he left behind, a silent claim that you were his.

He lifts himself up, propping himself up on his elbow so that he's staring down at you, his gaze soft but possessive.

"You're right," he answers quietly, his fingers gently tracing patterns on your skin. "It wouldn't be so bad at all."

The adrenaline is wearing off, and you're both tired. Art can feel his eyelids drooping, the allure of sleep calling to him. And you're not faring much better, drowsy and content being here.

He can tell you're just as tired as he is, both of you coming down from the adrenaline high and now feeling the exhaustion seeping into your bones.

He pulls you closer, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you flush against his chest. He burrows his face into your hair, inhaling the scent of you.

"Let's take a nap," he murmurs sleepily. "Just a little one. We can clean up later."

You hum softly in agreement, body perfectly melding into his. As Art drifts off, he's only thinking about how much he never wants this to end. He never wants to stop having you.

The last thing he remembers as he slips into unconsciousness is the feeling of your body against his, the sound of your breaths, and the gentle beat of your heart.

He falls asleep dreaming of a life with you, filled with love, laughter, and happiness. And he knows, deep down, that he'll do anything to make those dreams a reality.

[rootedinrevisions]

Not Just Some Option

SUMMARY: After years of friendship and hidden feelings, you and Tyler Owens, the charming and fearless storm chaser, find yourselves tangled in an unspoken connection. One quiet evening at home in Arkansas, the walls of denial crumble as the tension between you finally comes to a head. Tyler’s frustration with your reluctance to open up sparks a raw, emotional confession, forcing both of you to confront the depth of your feelings. As truths are laid bare, Tyler proves his devotion with words and actions, leaving no room for doubt that his heart belongs to you—and only you.

A/N: Thanks to the Anon who sent the request for this in! Hope you enjoy it!

PROMPT: "What part of I want you and only you do you not understand?"

WARNINGS/TAGS: Some Angst. Fluff. Some brief kissing/making out.

WORD COUNT: 2k

TAG LIST: SEE COMMENTS

If you would like to be added to any of my Tag Lists please feel free to comment, send an ask, or send a DM and I'll be happy to get you added! Below are the fandoms I currently write for.

Glen Powell (himself and the characters he's played)

Top Gun: Maverick (Hangman, Rooster, possibly others soon)

Marvel / MCU (Bucky Barnes as of now, but possibly others soon)

WWE / Wrestling

You’d always been good at hiding your feelings for Tyler. After all, what choice did you have? Loving him quietly from a distance was safer than risking everything and losing him for good. You told yourself you were fine being his best friend, the one he could count on through thick and thin, the person who knew him better than anyone. But sometimes, like tonight, the weight of unspoken words felt like it might crush you.

His arm was draped over the back of the couch, and you leaned into him, trying to focus on the movie playing on the screen. The warmth of his body so close to yours should have been comforting, but it only reminded you of all the times you’d wished for more.

And then his phone buzzed. Again.

You bit your lip, refusing to look at the screen. It wasn’t your business who he was texting, no matter how much it felt like a dagger twisting in your chest. You tried to ignore the flashes of girls’ names, the way his lips quirked up in a small smile when he typed out a reply. But when the fifth buzz shattered the silence, you couldn’t help the sharp glance you shot at his phone.

“Who is that?” you asked, keeping your tone light, though the words tasted bitter in your mouth.

Tyler barely looked up. “Oh, just that brunette from Kansas. You know, the one from the bar.”

The knot in your stomach tightened. You remembered her well. The way she’d draped herself over him, batting her eyelashes and whispering in his ear, like she owned the right to his attention. And the worst part? He’d let her.

“Right,” you said, your voice tight as you turned back to the TV.

Tyler frowned, his focus shifting from his phone to you. “Hey, you okay?”

“I'm fine,” you lied, your eyes glued to the screen.

“You don’t sound fine.”

“I said I’m fine, Tyler.”

You could feel his gaze on you, sharp and searching. “Come on. Talk to me. What’s going on?”

“It’s nothing,” you said quickly, your fingers clenching the edge of the throw pillow in your lap.

He sighed, his tone turning frustrated. “Why do you always do this? I know something’s bothering you, but you won’t tell me. Why can’t you just be honest with me?”

Because if I tell you, I’ll lose you. The words screamed in your head, but you couldn’t say them. What if he didn’t feel the same? What if your confession made things awkward, and ruined the easy friendship you’d spent years building? You swallowed hard, your throat tight with unshed tears.

“Forget it, Tyler,” you said softly. “It’s not important.”

“Bull,” he shot back, his voice firm. “It’s important if it’s upsetting you. Talk to me.”

The frustration in his voice broke something in you, and before you could stop yourself, the words spilled out. “I don’t like watching you with other girls, okay? I don’t like it when you’re texting them or taking them home. It hurts, Tyler. It kills me.”

The room went silent, the only sound the hum of the TV in the background. Tyler stared at you, his eyes wide with surprise.

“You…” He hesitated, his voice quieter now. “You feel that way about me?”

You nodded, unable to meet his gaze. “I’ve been in love with you for years, Tyler. But I know it doesn’t matter."

"It does matter. I want you." He said softly.

You scoffed, rolling your eyes. "You could have anyone you want. Why would you want me?”

The vulnerability in your voice must have hit him, because he reached for you, his hand gently tilting your chin up until your eyes met his.

“What part of ‘I want you, and only you’ do you not understand?” he said, his voice low and intense.

You blinked, the words not fully sinking in. “Tyler, don’t—”

“I mean it,” he interrupted, his eyes boring into yours. “I’ve wanted you for so long, but I didn’t think you felt the same. And yeah, I’ve been an idiot talking to other people, but that’s over. I’m done with anyone else. I just want you.”

You shook your head slightly, tears spilling down your cheeks. “How can I believe that? After everything? I've seen you take I don't even know how many girls back to your hotel room.”

His hand slid from your chin to the back of your neck, his thumb brushing soothing circles against your skin. 

“Then let me prove it to you,” he murmured, his voice dropping as he leaned in closer.

Before you could respond, his lips were on yours, soft but insistent, and the world fell away. It wasn’t rushed or tentative—it was a kiss full of everything he couldn’t put into words, everything he’d been holding back.

When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, and his breath was warm against your skin. “Do you believe me now?”

You nodded your voice barely a whisper. “Yeah. I believe you.”

“Good,” he said with a small smile, his hand still cradling the back of your neck. “Because I’m not letting you go.”

Tyler didn’t wait for your response. His lips found yours again, firmer this time, more insistent. The hand cradling the back of your neck tightened slightly, anchoring you to him as his other hand moved to your waist, pulling you closer.

The kiss deepened, his tongue brushing against your lips in a silent request, and when you parted them, a quiet gasp escaped you as he claimed the moment. His tongue swept into your mouth, exploring, tasting, and igniting sparks that spread through your body like wildfire.

Your hands, which had been resting awkwardly at your sides, moved on instinct. One slid up to his shoulder, gripping the soft fabric of his t-shirt, while the other tangled in the hair at the nape of his neck. The soft strands felt warm under your fingertips, and you couldn’t stop yourself from giving a gentle tug, earning a low, almost guttural sound from him that sent a shiver down your spine.

He shifted, his body pressing closer to yours as the kiss turned more heated. You felt his fingers flex against your waist, holding you firmly but not harshly. The way he touched you was deliberate like he was savoring every second, every tiny reaction you gave him.

“God,” Tyler murmured against your lips, his voice hoarse and breathless. “I’ve wanted to do this for so long.”

His confession hit you harder than you expected, making your chest tighten and your head spin. You barely had time to process it before he kissed you again, tilting his head to deepen the connection.

You melted into him, letting go of the doubts and fears that had held you back for so long. The warmth of his touch, the intensity of his kiss—it all felt so right, so natural.

Tyler’s hand slid up your side, his thumb brushing just under the edge of your ribs before it settled lightly on your cheek, guiding your face to stay perfectly aligned with his. The tenderness of the gesture contrasted with the hunger in the kiss, and it left you breathless, craving more.

When you finally broke apart, both of you were gasping for air. Tyler pressed his forehead to yours, his breath mingling with yours in the charged silence. His hands framed your face, his thumbs tracing soothing patterns along your jaw.

“I meant what I said,” he murmured, his voice a low rumble that sent a thrill through you. “I want you. Only you.”

Your heart stuttered at the sincerity in his tone, and all you could do was nod, your fingers still gripping his shirt as though letting go would break the spell.

“I don’t want this to be just a moment,” you whispered, your voice shaky but resolute. “I don’t want to go back to pretending.”

“We won’t,” Tyler promised, leaning in to press a softer, slower kiss to your lips. “No more pretending. Promise.”

Tyler’s promise hung in the air between you, heavy with meaning. You felt the truth of it in the way his hands lingered on your face, in the way his gaze bore into yours like he was trying to memorize every detail.

He kissed you again, slower this time, his lips moving against yours with a tenderness that made your chest ache. It wasn’t just passion; it was something deeper, something that made the world outside this moment fade away.

You sighed against his mouth, your body relaxing into his as you let yourself get lost in him. Tyler responded by pulling you closer, his arm wrapping around your waist as he shifted, guiding you backward until you were lying against the cushions of the couch. He leaned over you, his weight balanced carefully on one arm as his other hand caressed your cheek, his thumb brushing lightly over your skin.

His kisses trailed away from your mouth, moving to the corner of your lips, then along your jaw. Each touch of his lips sent a spark racing through you, and when he nuzzled against the curve of your neck, you couldn’t stop the soft gasp that escaped you.

“Tyler,” you whispered, your voice barely audible over the sound of your heartbeat pounding in your ears.

He hummed in response, the low, rough sound vibrating against your skin as his lips found the spot just below your ear. 

“I love the way you say my name,” he murmured, his breath warm and tantalizing against your neck.

You bit your lip, your hands sliding from his shoulders to his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your palm. It grounded you, reminding you that this was real—that this wasn’t some fleeting dream you’d wake up from.

Tyler pulled back slightly, his eyes searching yours, his expression softer now, almost hesitant. 

“I need you to tell me something,” he said, his voice quiet but firm.

You nodded, your fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt as you held his gaze. “Anything.”

“Do you trust me?” he asked, his brow furrowed as though the answer truly mattered more than anything else.

The question caught you off guard, but the answer came easily. “Of course I do.”

“Then trust me when I say this,” Tyler continued his voice steady but laced with an intensity that sent shivers down your spine. “I’m not going anywhere. This doesn't ruin our friendship. You’re not just some option to me. You never were.”

His words hit you like a tidal wave, and tears pricked at the corners of your eyes before you could stop them. You’d spent so long doubting, second-guessing, convincing yourself that this connection between you was one-sided. But now, hearing him say it, seeing the conviction in his eyes—it was overwhelming.

“Tyler...” Your voice broke, and you swallowed hard, trying to keep your emotions in check.

He smiled softly, his thumb brushing away the tear that slipped down your cheek. “No more doubting, okay? No more wondering if you’re enough. You’ve always been enough. For me, you’re everything.”

Your breath hitched, and before you could say anything else, Tyler leaned in, capturing your lips in another kiss. This one was slow and deliberate, as if he was trying to prove his words with every movement, every gentle caress.

The heat between you began to build again, his kisses growing more fervent as his hand slid down your side, resting just above your hip. You felt his fingers curl slightly, holding you with a mix of reverence and restraint.

The sound of the rain tapping against the window faded into the background as the world narrowed to just the two of you. Nothing else mattered—not the doubts, not the fears, not the years you’d spent hiding how you felt.

In this moment, it was just you and Tyler.

And for the first time, it felt like you were exactly where you were meant to be.

[suhkusa]

EGOIST 18.

PAIRING. Atsumu Miya x f!Reader

CW. plot, angst, did i say angst, betrayal

A/N. atsumu biting the curb in 4k

-> MASTERLIST.

Atsumu’s been nervous, yes. He’s also been scared. But nothing can describe the pure terror he felt in his heart when he opened up the link to gossip about you with a picture he took being the star of it.

He barely slept last night. He’s scared because things had just gotten good with you. He’s scared because how else did the media get a hold of this? He was never planning on releasing, nor does he ever remember sending it to anyone. So, why?

Atsumu is stuck where he is. He can’t move. One because you’re sleeping on him, and two because he doesn’t want to wake you up in fear of how you’ll react. He can hear your phone buzzing on the floor from when it fell.

He’s absolutely lost.

Atsumu decides it’s for the best to keep his mouth shut. To just be there for you. 

No one would ever have to know.

———

You wake up to Atsumu shaking you, “Y/N,”

You’re groggy as you open your eyes. You’re almost blinded when Atsumu shoves a phone in your face, a twitter post being left on the screen.

When you finally come to your senses and read it, you jump up.

“W-What?” you feel around your person, “Where’s my phone?” 

Atsumu is slow but he finally hands it to you. You’re frantic as you open your messages to almost 100 new notifications.

Coach Foster [7:45AM]: Stay indoors, there are paparazzi everywhere. Take care of yours…

Sissy [8:01AM]: are you okay? please call me back when you get a chance. me and mom are…

MSBY JACKALS (25 New) - Meian [8:04AM]: This is so weird, people have nothing else better….

Kiyoomi [8:07AM]: Are you okay? 

You don’t know who to answer, what to answer. This is bad, really bad. Your eyes begin to water when you look at Atsumu, dumbfounded.

“I-I don’t know what to do,” your hands are shaking, “Do I make a post or- or-”

His eyes look worried as he pulls you into a comforting hug, “It’ll be okay, alright?”

You nod into his shoulder, “Just listen to Coach for now and we’ll figure out how to settle this,”

You sigh in defeat as you shut your phone off. “This is so bad, a scandal right after you guys won, I-I’m so sorry,” you begin to cry.

“I shouldn’t have gotten so drunk, I should’ve been c-careful,” the palm of your hands dig into your eyes as you cry as if they were trying to plug the waterworks.

“It’s not your fault, there’s always journalists around trying to find their next hit story,” he comforts, hand on your back rubbing soothing circles in it.

“Just rest, I’m gonna make some breakfast,” he kisses you on the forehead before leaving you alone with your thoughts.

You snatch your phone up to look at your Instagram. There’s DMs, new followers, likes and comments. Out of nervousness, you temporarily deactivate your account. Closing out of the app. 

You’re about to click onto Twitter when a call begins to make your phone buzz. “Kiyoomi” labeled as the suspect.

“Kiyoomi?” you answered, “L-Look, I’m so sorry, I didn’t think-”

“Why are you apologizing?” he interrupts, “It’s not your fault, alright? But are you okay?”

His voice is filled with genuinity, it somewhat calms your nerves.

“No, I’m nervous, I’m scared. What if I lose my job? What if something happens to you, I don’t know how I’d deal with that,”

There’s a pause on his end before he continues, “You shouldn’t have to worry about any of that. Coach Foster knows what happened that night and wouldn’t lay it out on either of us. Gossip on social media is out of our control,”

You sniffle in response, allowing him to continue, “Just lay low for a little bit, we already have people working on stuff behind the scenes. I only called to make sure you’re alright,”

“Thank you, Kiyoomi,” you cry, “I hope you’re alright as well, and I’m sorry again,”

“No worries, I’m glad to know you’re safe. And again don’t apologize,” Kiyoomi comforts, “I’ll see you soon alright,” 

“See you,” is what you mutter to your phone before you’re met with the sound of an ended call.

With a sigh, you fall back into the pillow and comforter of Atsumu’s bed, wallowing in your own thoughts. 

“Food is ready,” Atsumu pokes his head into the room, a white apron adorning his body.

“You look goofy,” you laugh a bit, “I’ll be right there,”

With a nod he’s whistling through the halls on his way back to the kitchen. 

Working up the energy, you force yourself up and walk with sore legs into the kitchen, finding a seat on the stool by the counter.

“How are you feeling?” Atsumu questions with a mouth of waffle, pushing a plate towards you.

“Are these Eggos?” you laugh, grabbing one with your hand and taking a bite.

“Duh, never said I was a chef,” he smirks back before finishing the one in his hand. “You didn’t answer my question, though,”

“Oh, yeah. I’m feeling somewhat better,” you start, finishing what’s in your mouth, “There’s not much I can do about it you know?”

There’s a look of relief on Atsumu’s face that confuses you but you look past it.

“Coach already knows what happened that night, and so does Kiyoomi, so there’s nothing I really have to worry about,” you sigh, finishing the waffle in a swift bite, “just gotta wait for it to die down,” 

“Mm, I see,” he grabs your plate before placing it into the sink. “That’s good then, but unfortunately for you, that just means you’re stuck with me for another day,” 

“Oh no how terrible,” you roll your eyes, pushing your chair back and hopping off of it, “I’m gonna watch TV,”

Atsumu nods at you before turning the faucet on to wash dishes.

You click some random Netflix show to play in the background as you filter out your thoughts. It feels for a while you’ve been on autopilot, but the gravity of everything is finally hitting you. It’s terrifying.

You went from hating Atsumu Miya to essentially dating him. The team you helped manage won the Division 1 Volleyball championships. And now, you’re in a dating scandal with someone you considered a close friend. 

If there was a way to put your life on pause, you would. In a heartbeat. 

A buzz on the table catches your attention. Atsumu’s phone buzzes a couple more times before halting.

The name “Angie” appears on the notifications, drawing your curiosity.

“Atsumu, who is Angie?”

You look back at where he stands in the kitchen, and he looks like he’s seen a ghost.

There’s a brief moment of silence before he snaps out of whatever trance he’s in.

“Oh, that’s my cousin,” he says, drying his hands off, “Sorry, I just haven’t, um, spoken to her in a while,”

“Ah, I see,” you put his phone down before drowning yourself back in your thoughts.

Atsumu joins you on the couch, grabbing his phone before his butt meets the cushion. He puts it on the side of the couch before wrapping a strong arm around you. 

“What show is this?”

“It’s this one show, Ginny and Georgia, terrible, but I like to experience it,” you say which he nods in response to.

“I see,” his phone buzzes again, causing him to pick it up and type a somewhat long message.

“What does she want?” you prod.

He looks down at you then back at his phone, “She’s just reaching out after some family drama,”

You mouth a silent oh before turning your head back to the TV. 

———

The 50 minute episode ends and Atsumu hasn’t gotten off his phone since then.

“Atsumu, pay attention to me,” you pout, shaking his arm.

“Fine, fine, let me send one more text,” he quickly taps his phone a couple more times before setting it down.

You smile before you hug him, earning a kiss in response.

“Ah shit, I need to piss, just give me a second, ‘kay?” you nod before he’s frantically rushing through the hallway, pants pulled down before he even reaches the bathroom door.

You laugh a bit to yourself. You reach for the remote when you see his phone light up with a new text. 

He didn’t shut it off.

You’re stuck between a rock and a hard place. You’d be lying if you said you trusted Atsumu with all your heart, but it’d kill you if you didn’t trust him and he caught you in the act of something stupid like searching through his phone.

Bzzt.

Curiosity might really be killing the cat, because you can’t help the way you look at the bathroom door then back at his phone, quickly grabbing at it and reading the most recent texts.

If you were a cat, then curiosity really did kill you. Your heart sinks at the texts between his “cousin” Angie.

Angie [10:02AM]: URE the one who took those pics. i just happened to find them

Angie [10:02AM]: who do you think uploaded that picture of sakusa n that girl? lol u can finally get ur mind off of her now

Angie [10:03AM]: what do u say? u tryna come over or what ;)

© all writings belongs to suhkusa 2024. do not repost or change.

[chrissturnsw1fe]

SWEETDREAMS

Chris Sturniolo

Warning: none just swearing and pure fluff

Summary: Chris and been a dick to you all day until you finally snap at him and he comes back later to apologise.

Chris had been in a mood since this morning he’s been dry and making you feel like shit all day. You guys have been together for a couple of months now and never had an argument. He’s currently out filming a car video with Nick and Matt hopefully he comes back in a better mood.

He’s been gone around an hour so you decided to message him to just see when he was going to be back home.

* message *

Do you know what time you’ll be home around?

Idk.

okay baby see you soon ❤️

yh 👍🏼

* end of message *

“I wonder what’s pissing him off” you speak to yourself. you wanted to pass time so you decide to clean up and do the dishes and have a shower , once your changed in your pjs you walk down the stairs and hear the front door open to see a very grumpy looking Chris walk in.

“hey baby” you smile at him

He ignores you and walks over to the fridge , wow that was rude you thought to yourself. You walk over to him

“Are you okay you seem angry about something”

“Omg can you get off my dick” he replied aggressively

You was so confused on why he was being like this it was starting to get on your nerves a lot. You was reminding yourself over and over again to not get angry.

“Gosh what’s a matter with you grumpy pants”

You let out a sarcastic comment he should know your joking until his flips on you out of no where,

“God just fuck off you annoying little bitch your always here like just go away and get out of my face”

That drew the line for you and you snapped back,

“You know what Chris I’ve done nothing but help you I clean the house for you because your lazy ass doesn’t. Yeah you go out and film with your brothers of course I’m gonna be clingy I barely see you anymore so fuck you too bro”

You feel the tears well up in your eyes but refuse to let me drop.

“Bro are you for real you seriously just called me bro”

“Yes I did now you take that Pepsi and shove it straight up your fucking ass see if that knocks some sense into you , you rude bitch boy”

You storm upstairs into the bedroom and slam the door shut and just start crying you don’t know what to do, one part of you feels bad , you’ve never snapped at Chris like that before, no you decided your gonna wait for him to apologise.

You go in the shower to release some stress off your back , you brush your teeth and get into your pjs to put a movie on and hopefully Chris would’ve decided to say sorry by then.

It’s been about 2 hours since the argument, you feel your eyes drifting off to sleep you check the time on your phone, it’s 11:32pm, you switched the tv off and nodded away to sleep.

Time skip (Chris’ pov)

I felt so bad for snapping at y/n like that I shouldn’t have said what I did, I check my phone and it’s 2am I choose to have a shower and do the the right thing.

After my shower I walk into the bedroom and see y/n sleeping, I walk over and get into bed,

“Hey baby you up”

She hums in the sleep

“I’m really sorry you was right I promise I’ll be better and I was just having a bad day I didn’t mean to snap at you the way I did please forgive me”

“It’s okay we all have bad days I understand just don’t take them out on me you know you can talk to me about it” she smiles at me

“I will thank you for always being here for me and also never call me bro again I did not like that” I laugh a little

She giggles at me “I won’t but let’s talk in the morning I’m tired”

I nod at her and bring her into my chest

“I love you”

“I love you more”

I smile and kiss her forehead as she drifts back off to sleep. Wow it feels like a weight has been taken off my back.

“Sweet dreams”

A/n: I hope you liked this it was my first fluff I’m open to any requests if you want some dm me.

[baby-tini]

I know your requests are closed and I'm so sorry if I'm bothering you bit I'm not feeling the best mentally right and your writing is a big comfort for me. Again if you don't want too I understand, but could you write Dazai with a suicidal/depressed reader, he's a really big comfort to me, thank you!!!

Don't worry baby, you're not bothering me, and I'm so honored you feel comfortable enough too ask for something like this. My inbox and DMs are always open if you or anyone wants too talk, I'm so sorry you're feeling this way love, I completely understand, and I really do hope that you feel better soon.

TW- Suicidal Ideation, Mention of Self-Harm, Depressive Episode

-He knew. He knew when you woke up that morning not as affectionate or loving. He knew, when the past couple of days seemed extremely hard for you too get out of bed. He knew when he looked in your eyes and he saw the same yearning for death that stared back at him in his reflection.

-You didn't have too tell him, but when he asked you if you were okay and you just broke in his arms, he knew. He called out of work that day, not even letting Kunikida get a word in as he hung up the call and laid you down in bed, where he proceeded too spend hours with you.

-He wouldn't make you talk about it, he'd ask if you wanted too talk, and he'd listen to everything that you said, wiping your tears away as he pushed the wet sticky strands of hair that were glued to your cheeks behind your ear.

-If you did wanna talk about how you're feeling and how everything just felt so meaningless, like you were doing so much for nothing. He'd listen, he'd listen to every word that left your lips as he nodded and would give his imput or ask a question every so often.

-If you didn't wanna talk about it, he'd understand, he doesn't really talk about his feelings either so he'll just let you lay on him and cry into his chest as much as you need. Softly running his hands through your hair as he pressed soft kisses to the crown of your head.

-He'd keep an eye on you for a while. A couple months if he had too, even if he could tell that you were happy and were no longer having those thoughts and feelings. He can't afford too lose you, you're everything to him. So even if he has too stop going to work for a while, he will. If he needs too take days off work for you and comfort you, he will, if being around him makes you happy, just ask, he doesn't really care that much for paperwork anyway, he'll just ask Atsushi and he really could careless for the consequences. There's a lot of people at the ADA, other people could work cases. You need him and that's all that matters.

-He understands the ugliness of depression, so he understands how you feel, maybe not completely but he can relate quite heavily to the topic, so if you need him too wash your hair as you sit in the bathtub, he will. If you haven't eaten, he'll order something for you, if you're not hungry, he understands but you'll have too eat even if it's a little bit. Just a couple bites and he'll be satisfied.

-If you're someone who likes too, or prefers too be left alone, he understands, because he's the same way. He'll let you be, but he won't leave you alone, he's not comfortable with that. He'll check on you quite a lot, even if it's just an, "are you okay" or a, "do you need anything" that he asks through the door. He's satisfied because he knows you're alive and he can hear you.

-He doesn't mind when the room gets dirty, if you don't have the will too do laundry or too even get up too brush your teeth, he gets it. Especially if he's also in a similar headspace at the time and he doesn't have the mental strength too get up and clean. It'll be dealt with when you both feel better, that's the last thing on his mind as he lays with you in bed, in the quiet room enjoying your soft breath against his neck as he feels your chest rise and fall.

-If you're someone who self-harms and you partake in self-destructive behavior, he'll be more on you. He will not leave your side. He will take everything that could hurt you and he'll hide it. Now, he knows you're an adult and you're capable of making your own decisions, but he can't take any chances, one wrong... move and you could kill yourself, and like I said, he can't take any chances.

-If you take any medications, he'll be the one too give them to you, he doesn't want too make you feel like a child but he understands that when people are in that head-space, they make bad decisions and they're desperate for even the smallest bit of mental release so they'll make themselves feel physical pain, but he can't let you do that.

-If you become actively suicidal and try too attempt on your own life, he will hold you hostage of sorts. He won't tie you up or anything, but he will keep you with him at all points of the day, he'd go days without sleep just too watch you and make sure you're safe. You are no longer allowed too be on your own, he doesn't want you too feel worse by making you think he doesn't trust you, because all he wants is too make sure you're safe. You can cuss and yell at him- even hit him if you need too, but he can't and he won't take those chances.. not with you he won't- he can't.

[jasmines-library]

hi!! I’ve been going through a lot and needed something for comfort pft so I was wonderinf of you can do a batfam x suicidal!reader?? like hurt/comfort thank you!!

One Step at a Time

Note: Hello my lovely, I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling right now, I hope that things get better soon, please remember that you are loved. My DMs are open of you ever need anything.

Warnings: Self harm, depression, suicidal thoughts, swearing. Please read with caution as this contains heavy themes.

Word Count: 1.2K

⛤ BATFAM MASTERLIST ⛤

It had gone unnoticed for a while. And that was in no way the Vigilantes’ fault. You had tried to keep it that way, burying your emotions deep beneath the surface so that they only appeared when you were alone.

You weren’t even sure when you started to feel this way, perhaps it was a failed mission or perhaps it was something unrelated, you didn’t know, but the thoughts and feelings never left. They grew like weeds in a brick wall, slowly burying themselves deeper into your mind and hacking away at your foundations until they began to crumble. No matter how much you tried to ignore them they wouldn’t leave as they screamed at you that ‘you weren’t good enough’ that you were ‘worthless’ and ‘didn’t deserve anything’. There were hundreds and thousands of thoughts that ricocheted across your mind so quickly that they left you completely drained and disorientated. And then came the other feelings…

You couldn’t help it. You had tried to, but the flood of emotions became too much and you resorted to finding ways to release it that you hoped the others wouldn’t notice. So you watched as the razor glinted under the light; a cruel piece of steel doused in red flames that sparked from your skin, not even bothering to hold back the tears that fell heavy down your face and splattered onto your shirt. At first you had told yourself it was a one time thing, but as the thoughts became worse, so did your urge. But the worst part was, you couldn’t help but feel guilty for it. Guilty for how your friends and family would feel when they found out. Guilty for how many times you had thought about just taking your own god forsaken life to make it easier for you and-

At first, you continued with your daily life. You had plastered on a smile and greeted them with a laugh leaving them none the wiser. But you were exhausted now. The lack of sleep from nights spent staring at the ceiling hadn’t helped, and you were struggling to bring yourself to leave your room. Everything began to feel like such an effort and you often pondered over if it was working. You often found yourself laying in bed staring blankly at the ceiling, unaware of time passing. 

Your disappearance hadn’t gone unnoticed. The boys missed your face at dinner. They missed seeing you around the house and they quickly grew concerned when you started appearing less and less. Though you always seemed to have a smile on your face when they saw you, they had noticed that your eyes didn’t quite have that same spark that they usually held. 

One particularly grey evening, you were curled up on your bed when you heard the soft rap of knuckles against the door. It had been a particularly rough day, and you couldn’t bring yourself to move so you knew that it was one of the boys coming to check on you. Neither of them spotted you yesterday either, and their concern was weighing down heavily on them. You didn’t respond. You kept your eyes closed and hoped that they would leave, assuming that you were asleep because you knew the second that you saw one of them that your heart would shatter into a million more pieces. 

“Y/N?” Jason’s voice called out into the darkness as he pushed open the door slowly. You didn’t have your curtains drawn but the dark and foggy night sky kept the room pitch black. Again, you didn’t reply in hopes that he would leave, but you could feel the tears welling up behind your eyes. 

“Kid?” He whispered, pushing the door all the way open and allowing the light from the hallway to flood in. With this he could see your body curled up on the bed. “You okay?”

Silence. Tedious silence. 

“I know you’re awake.” He said. He had heard your uneven breaths. Your stomach dropped, but you still made no move to react to him. 

You heard multiple steps of footsteps approach the bed before it dipped down beside you, which meant that he had his brothers with him. Your heart shattered and you sucked in a ragged breath. 

“You weren’t at dinner.” Tim said. “We thought you might be hungry.”

You heard him place something down on your desk. 

“Where have you been, Y/N/N? No one’s seen you recently.” Dick spoke softly, placing a hand on your back gently. 

You rolled over slowly, pushing yourself up slowly so that your back was against the headboard. They all saw the tear tracks on your cheeks but none of them said anything instead they shared an unspoken glance. 

“ ‘m fine.” You told them blankly. 

“Y/N-”

“I said I’m fine.” You tried to stay strong, but the waver in your voice betrayed you. “You should all go. You probably have better things to do.”

“Tt, why would you think that?” Damian frowned. 

“I don’t know” you shrugged, throwing your head back and feeling the tears welling up again. 

“Talk to us, kid.” Jason said “Tell us what’s up.”

You began to cry again at the tenderness of their thoughts for you, but the guilt built up again. “I- I’m sorry.” 

“For what?”

“I- can’t do it anymore. Everything is just too much.” You explained. 

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… I feel so useless. I feel like I don’t belong anywhere! I just want it all to stop!”

“Oh, Y/N/N…” Jason said, pulling you close to his chest that you continued to cry into. “I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way.”

“I can’t do this anymore. Please…I want it all to stop.”

The brothers shared a worried glance. 

“It will kiddo. It will, we promise.” Dick told you as he reached out to play with your hair. “We’re gonna help you.”

“Dick is right,” Tim told you. “We love you, so, so much Y/N. And we always will. And we’re gonna help you.”

“It might take a little while,” Jason added, “but that’s absolutely okay. What you’re feeling is okay, Y/N, but we’re going to help you until you feel better.”

You nodded hesitantly. 

“We’re going to be with you every step of the way Y/N. The good and the bad, we will always be by your side.” Damian chimed in. 

“You are so, so loved Y/N. We couldn’t ask for someone more perfect in our lives and we’re not going anywhere.”

You sniffled at their comforting words as they worked to calm you. The five of you knew that the process would take some time, but that was okay. They would stand by you for as long as you needed. They would be there for every step forward and step backward that you took to reassure you that they were so impeccably proud of you everyday, and they would be there to remind you that you were so, so loved and that things would get better one step at a time.

Helplines:

If you're in crisis and need to talk right now, there are many helplines staffed by trained people ready to listen. They won't judge you, and could help you make sense of what you're feeling. 

Samaritans (or call 116 123)

SANEline on 0800 689 5652

 CALM on 0800 58 58 58 or CALM webchat service.

There are many more helplines for you to reach out to if you are ever needing someone to talk to.

[bryngmemoney]

✁FASHION FLIRT✃

Megumi Fushiguro x Reader

⭑story masterlist link

tw: death jokes

Writing in between messages!!

🪡Chapter Sixteen: Deserve each other

You sat in the fashion room, waiting for Megumi to show up. It was around 5:45 and he had texted you saying he was almost there, just stopped for gas. It was fine since you guys hadn’t agreed to meet till six, you just happened to be early. It was late and a Friday, so no one was really around, except for some people in the film room right next to you apparently. Every now and then you would hear a muffled yell, almost reprehending. You just figured it was some people arguing over something.

You saw another text from Megumi saying he was about to leave the gas station and head over saying he’d be there soon. Distracted by your messages, you failed to realize the person standing at the open door in the front of the room. You looked up after seeing something move in the corner of your eye, jumping a little when you saw Sukuna standing there glaring at you. “What’d I scare you?”

“Ew freak, what are you doing here?”

“Could ask the same thing.”

You looked back down at your phone, turning it off and placing it down on the table. “Waiting on Megumi, trying on his stuff.” He just hummed in reply heading over to the table you sat at “You and him a thing?”

“Well, kind of?”

He just squinted his eyes at you for a second, before replying “He could do so much better.” “Ok fuck you.” He just laughed in response.

“Was that you yelling in the room over?” you asked. “You could hear that?” He actually looked surprise. “You’re always so damn loud, just you talking gives people headaches, can you imagine your screaming.”

Even after knowing him for a while the way he stares people down still freaks you out, like how he was doing right now. “I wouldn’t have to if people were competent, my fucking partner sucks, he doesn’t know anything and his ideas are stupid, I should’ve hunted down Yuji or that one emo friend of his.”

“Junpei?”

“Jellyfish yea.”

“It’s Junpei, and who’s your partner anyway?”

“This annoying ass kid with blue hair, he’s so weird, I wish Uraume or Megumi were film majors. You know, actual competent people?”

“I almost did choose film, if that helps.”

You and Sukuna looked up to where the voice was coming from, seeing Megumi walk towards you guys, a small smile on his face. “Megumi!” you two collectively said. He responded with a hey, taking a seat next to you.

“How you’ve been? You and Y/n?” Sukuna asked.

“And Uraume?” Megumi replied.

“Goodbye, I take back my previous statement you two deserve each other.”

Author’s Note: this chapter came out WAYYY later than i wanted it to but i just got so busy even if it was in my drafts i could not find time to finish it

but anyways like two (maybe three) chapter will be out tomorrow (hopefully) 🤗🤗🤗🤗

hope you guys enjoyed!

Taglist below, feel free to comment or dm me to be added!!

TAGLIST

@iridescentrays @gumimegz @maya-maya-56 @mamafly @lunavixia @swissy23 @coltsgf @m00nglad3-mp3 @etsukis @xosren @qtnfer @oengleli @harek89 @y-sabell-a @morgyyyyyyy @getolvr @liliumaraneae @k3lbade @aiieera @dancedancey @get0sfav @chuyasthighs0 @hyssoplampflickers @kpopanimen @sad-darksoul @vivi-loves-penguins @kasumitenbaz @talkingsperm @nymphsdomain @inlovewithlondonn @rzcnlb @enchantingkitty @fuyuzemi @lysaray @ni-ki-ismyluv @reneny @frumira @mixzimi @miralunaela @dreamxiing @p3achiee @anianurst

[spidybaby]

Flowers

Summary: Who would have thought some flowers can make that much drama.

Warnings: none, kinda angsty but fluffy.

A/N: I've been so busy with college that I feel bad for not posting. So here's this piece. Hope you like it 😀💛

Everything started with your friend giving you the idea of pranking Kylian, posting a story of some flowers with the caption "thank you baby ❤️"

At first, you didn't want to because Kylian was the kind of boyfriend to always give you flowers, taking you to dinner, doing little things for you.

But when the vacation started, he went to Miami with Achraf and Melissa. You declined his invite to go with him. Due to your work, you needed to be available for your coworkers since you were just promoted as a higher up.

Melissa was sad. It was her first vacation away from the kids and now away from you. You both became really close since you began dating Kylian.

Kylian is someone who girls always try to get with. Something you weren't to moved to, it didn't worry you. You trusted him, and he trusted you. It's teamwork.

Something that began to worry you was him not answering his phone, your texts, nothing. It was like he went ghost mode.

You thought it was because his data was not active or something, but then you saw the ig post. He has data to post, then he can at least dm you to let you know he was fine.

You didn't need him to be glue to the phone for you, but at least let you know he was fine. Only that.

So, you texted Melissa, asking her if she was enjoying the vacation, if she was tanning. But, she left you on read.

That's when the words of your friend made sound in your head. Was that a good thing to do?

"Of course it is. It's a harmless story, and you can even text him saying "thank you for my flowers while you're away." Your friend says, looking at the flower catalog. "So this peonies, please"

You open your phone just to see the seen texts. You didn't understand why he was acting like that. If he wanted a space free vacation, he could have said it.

"Okay, all done. Let's go." Your friend says, grabbing your arm to drag you outside of the store.

"Wait, did you pay?"

"Yes, you'll get them tomorrow."

You both ended up at some cafe, talking about the updates of your lives.

"Don't worry, if you're not comfortable with this, you don't have to do it." She says as she leaves you on the door of your house.

"I'll think about it."

You wave her goodbye as she drives off.

You went off with your night, didn't want to bother Kylian. Maybe he's busy and needs a breath from everything. Maybe he wanted to be alone for a while.

"Maybe you're too much for him," a voice in your head says.

Okay, no, you're not. If you were, he would not be with you.

You push all those thoughts out of your head and decide to sleep. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

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You saw the pictures he posted, the outfit you helped him put together. Yet he still hasn't answered your texts.

You take a look at your bouquet of peonies, you think a little bit before taking the picture. You add a white heart, uploading it to your story.

You send a pic to him over text, thanking him for sending them while he was on vacation.

You decide to turn off your phone as soon as you start receiving the notifications of instagram. You turn on your TV and start your favorite show, taking a caring only on the TV.

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Kylian was calmly talking with Achraf. They were going to dinner with some friends of him.

"Kylian, you're such a lover boy for your girlfriend." Melissa says, looking at your story. Kylian didn't understand, but he just nodded.

He got that type of comment from Achraf, too. He was kind of confused about why the sudden interest on him being a "good boyfriend."

It was not clear until Neymar texted him, asking him where he found the peonies, wanting to get some for his baby gender reveal and not being able due to the shortage of them.

He frowned, reading the text, Neymar attached a picture of your story.

You tag him in a story of a big bouquet of peonies thanking him. He never sent you that bouquet. He told Neymar that he will text him the info, but he didn't have any info to share.

He quickly noticed the text you sent him. "Thank you, mon amour. You're the best ❤️ I love peonies, and you know it 🥰" He tried to call several times. You didn't answer. It went straight to voice mail.

After that, Melissa asked him what was wrong, and when he explained, she tried to call you, nothing. Even Achraf gave his phone to Kylian, nothing.

He was worried. Who sent you flowers? Why would someone send you flowers? Were you aware he was not the one sending you flowers?

He stayed in, but for nothing, you weren't answering your phone.

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You turn your phone back on the next day. You needed to make some calls and send some emails so you will do it from your phone.

The first thing you saw was that you have 5 missed calls from Melissa, 8 from Kylian and even two from Achraf.

You also got a lot of texts. Even one from Bruna, Neymar's girlfriend, she was asking me to ask Kylian where he found the peonies. She wanted some for her gender reveal.

You answer her, giving her the info from the florist. And also assuring her that you will be at her gender reveal.

Another text was from Ethan, asking you to go out but using that insta story to deliver the message. You say yes.

And then a text message from your boyfriend. He was asking if you're available to call you. You wanted to say yes, call him and talk, but your toxic side says no. Let him overthink. So you ignored his, Melissa's, and Achraf texts. Instead, you call Ethan and tell him you'll pick him up to go to brunch.

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"You have to calm down." Achraf says, watching Kylian passing around the room, phone in hand. "Maybe you did send them, and you're forgetting it." He shakes his head no, he didn't. He would remember.

"I didn't."

"Ethan and her are going out." Melissa says, reading the text Fayza sent her. "They're going out for brunch."

"Why is she not answering my texts or calls then?" Kylian sat down, angry.

"Maybe because you haven't answered hers." Achraf points out.

Melissa agreed with him.

"But she told me she was going to be busy." He almost screamed. "I didn't want to distract her."

"Okay, but you even told Melissa not to answer her. Maybe she's mad at you."

And I was true, Kylian told Melissa not to bother you. Since you got your new work, you were busy, so he didn't want you to feel like you were pressured to do a lot of things at the same time.

"But.-"

"But nothing," Achraf interrupts. "Let's not worry, even if the flowers are from another dude, she thanked you. She's not thinking about anyone else."

They both shut his insecurities, and Melissa took his phone. She sent you a text saying sorry for not answering and sending you some pictures.

The rest of his vacation was weird, he keeps sending you texts, and you kept ignoring him but updating your social media.

Melissa and you talked, you told her about the plan you and your friend had. She laughed and told you it was all between you and her.

Kylian, on the other side, was overthinking. He wanted to go back to Paris and be with you. In the last few, he sent you different things. He sent you flowers, he sent you chocolate, he sent you your favorite food, and he sent you your favorite coffee to your work.

You find all that cute and funny. He was so jealous. Your friend and you enjoyed the moment. He was getting his own medicine.

The day of his return, you text him as if nothing happened. Asking if he wanted to be picked up by you.

He immediately say yes, asking you how you were, if you received his things, you just answered with a "see you at the airport, amour"

Making him worried sick. Are you mad at him? Are you breaking up with him? Are you mad about something else? Achraf made him stop, telling him he was overthinking.

The whole flight he was thinking about you, he even texted Ethan for help, asking him to reserve for a super fancy restaurant, to run to the jewelry for something special for you and even asked his mother to go with his brother to pick you a special dress for the night.

When he arrived, it was 10 am. Perfect time for him to rest and to be with you all day and have that special date at night.

You waited at the parking of the airport, his driver was there with you, since he sent him to get you. Due to the flight being private, you could wait there.

You see the plane landing, and your stomach is full of butterflies. You missed him, too much for you to admit outloud.

When Achraf and Melissa got out of the plane, you and Lana got out of the car. Lana ran to her mother, and you said hi to Hakimi. After lana and Melissa greet each other you hugged her.

When Kylian was down, he waited for you and Melissa to talk a little bit, hugging his niece. Melissa pointed with the head to Kylian, who has his eyes fixed on you.

"Hi," you say softly, hugging him tight. "I missed you." You kiss his cheek. He was happy to see you, his face buried in your neck, enjoying the perfume he loved so much.

"I miss you more," he kissed your neck, making shivers run down your spine. He can feel them. Loving how your body reacts to him. Only him.

"Let's go, lovebirds," Melissa says, laughing as she enters the car. "You can talk at home." You both laugh, Kylian kisses your lips and walks hand in hand with you to the car.

The whole trip to his home was them telling you about the trip, and Lana asked some questions to her mom.

"Text me when you're home." You say to Melissa, she was going to her house, leaving Kylian and you alone at his own house. "Bye, Lana." You both waved them goodbye and enter his house.

"Come here." You say closing the door. You open your arms to him, kissing his lips. "I missed you so much, you have to tell me everything."

"I had so much fun, we have to go together, again, it's such a vibe."

You both walked upstairs, he needed to rest and you were helping him with the suitcase. "Thank you," he says, looking at you organizing his stuff. "I have something for you."

"More?" You laugh. "All you did was send me things. You already gave me enough, Ky."

"There's never enough with me." The cocky tone of voice he's using is funny to you. Sometimes you forget your boyfriend is The Kylian Mbappé. "I even have a whole plan for us tonight."

"Kylian, you have to rest." You put the suitcase down, leaving it for later. You needed to cuddle him. "I love you, but you're probably tired. I want you to feel good for this new season."

"I'll do that, but I have to spoil my baby. If I don't do that, who will?"

You spend the day with him in bed, both resting and loving the time you have together. This tight schedule doesn't allow this kind of moment very often, so you both learned to work around it.

Spending every minute you can together, after practice, after every match, free days, holidays. Every second was important for you. Even if it was only a hug and good luck or if it was a whole night, you appreciated everything.

You went home to get ready, his driver telling you he was collecting you at six o'clock. You thank him and run inside your house to get ready.

The first thing you see when you walk inside is the big designer bags. You gasped, not expecting all that.

You open your phone to thank Kylian for the things, assuring him that I was too much for a date night and you'll make it up to him.

After a long shower, you did your makeup and style your hair, using the fragrance you know he loves and wearing the dress he gave you. It was a beautiful black dress, he also went out of the way and got you this diamond necklace that's the perfect match for one he owns.

The driver picked you up at the exact time. He was alone. On the seat was this other gift, you sigh. He's killing you with all the gifts.

The little note attached to the black box reads "Open me" next to a heart he obviously drew. Inside was this lock bracelet from Tiffany.

"You're just the best 😍" you text him with a picture of the bracelet on you.

He was so excited for you to arrive. His foot is moving with impatience. He wants you to know he's all you need.

He knows that he's going out his way, giving you a little more than necessary, but he has all the money in the world when it comes to you. Never checking the price tag. It was for you so he didn't care how much.

"Hey handsome, care if I sit?" You whisper in his ear, making he shiver. He gets up to pull your chair out for you. "Thank you, such a gentleman." You kiss his cheek before taking a seat.

"I just want you to know how much I love you." He says, sitting back on the chair. "I'll do anything for you."

"Even if that meant going bankrupt for me." You joke. He laughs loud, not caring about people or nothing. You love seeing him like that, so free, so happy.

"I'll give you everything you want."

"I know, you know I'll do that too, just not that crazy with diamonds. But I'm all yours if that make it up."

You both talk about everything and nothing at the same time, Kylian rambles about life, sports, and his family. And you do the same.

"You know what's funny?" You ask him, ready to confess the whole bouquet thing. Knowing all his doing is his normal self but also is a little him being jealous.

"Tell me, amour." He grabs your hands. Bringing them to his mouth.

"You did all of this for some flowers."

You don't miss the way his body pauses for a second. He's not making eye contact like before. "What?- What are you talking about?" He laughs nervously.

"You got jealous because someone sent me that bouquet, so you started to send me more flowers, some chocolate, food, coffee, you did all of this." You drink your wine, enjoying how his mind is working trying to make an excuse.

"I don't recall, maybe you're confused." He says, eating more of his food.

"So you don't recall calling me eight times because you didn't send me that beautiful peonies bouquet?" You ask again. He's just shaking his head and eating. "Well, I do, and I got to thank my friend for sending it."

He choke on a piece of stake, coughing dramatically. "You have to what now?" He asks after a big sip of wine.

You explain to him everything. He's embarrassed for believing you meant you weren't coming because you were so busy that you couldn't even answer his texts.

After reassuring him, it was okay, but agreeing on talking more openly when this kind of doubt ran his head. He apologized, and you did too.

With him, everything is easy. Talking, laughing, and loving. He's yours, and you're his. No matter the gifts , the trips, the busy schedule. He's yours and only yours yo admire, to love and to share a life with.

"Let's pay and go home, champ," you say, making a signal to the waiter to bring you the check. "I promise you I was making it up to you for all the gifts." You caress his hand with your nails. Thing that he loves.

"You know you don't have to."

"Oh, I want to." You intertwine your hands. "Hope you still have that Miami energy. You'll need it for the night."

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

A Guiding Hand 2

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, age gap, parental neglect, depression, inference of self harm, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: your online academics are affected by your personal struggles but your professor won’t let you give up so easy.

Characters: Raymond Smith, Lee Bodecker in the background

Note: I think my back is ok now.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

Tuesday comes too quickly. You don’t sleep the night before. It’s more than just Lee and your mother arguing that keeps you awake. The anxiety of your meeting bears down on you like an open maw, ready to devour you.

You don’t expect it to go well. You’re not even sure why you’re doing it. 

That one thought repeats over and over. You don’t have to. You can cancel. You can make another excuse and stay a loser. That’s easy. Maybe that’s why it’s so scary. Because new things are hard. 

You languish in bed as the time ticks by. You got to get up and get moving. Soon, you’ll do something. Soon. 

You roil in the trepidation. Each move, each little thing, is a gargantuan task. You sneak out to wash your face and make yourself as presentable as you can. You waited too long. You have five minutes to put something on that isn’t wrinkled and stale. 

You put on a black sweatshirt, hoping the little balls of lint aren’t visible. Maybe you can get away with just turning the microphone on. You open the computer and shift in the chair. One minute. 

You find the email and scroll down to the link. You hover over it and stare. Noon on the dot. Your hand falters and you click the Zoom meeting. It opens in the browser and your breath traps in your chest.  

The little box in the corner is black as you leave the red line through the camera icon as the mic catches the rustle of your shirt. There’s a man on screen. He sits before an office backdrop but you can’t tell if its digitally generated or real. His blond hair is combed back and he sports a thick beard and glasses. He wears a wool sweater over a collared shirt and stares down the camera. 

“Hello,” he speaks, “anyone there?” 

You clear your throat and croak, nearly choking on your own spit.  

“Here,” you manage to squeak. 

“Ah, hello there, may I ask you turn your camera on?” His voice is low and lilted, almost smoky in a way. 

You hesitate and scratch your neck, letting your fingers wander up to your scalp. The itch spread, making sitting still unbearable. You wince as you hear someone in the kitchen, the fridge door closes heavily and a dish clinks on the counter. 

“Hello?” The voice comes again. 

You panic and hit the keyboard. You steady your hand and tap the camera, shying away as you slouch in your chair. The dim glow of your bedside lamp leaves you in shadow. Still, you feel exposed. 

“Better,” he says but with little enthusiasm, “well, I suppose we best get to the meat of things,” he adjusts his posture. 

“Okay,” you murmur and cross your arms, looking evasively at the wall. 

“Good to finally meet. I’m Professor Smith,” he introduces himself and calls you by name. 

“You too,” you utter out of courtesy. This is torture to you. 

“Now, you’ve done very well on your completed work,” his eyes scan as he looks at the screen before him, "you’ve shown improvement up until a few weeks ago. You do have a lot of potential to be successful here--” 

You nod and hunch down further. You just feel worse. You’re a lazy slob. You didn’t finish your work just like you never finish the laundry or cleaning your room. 

“Irene!” Lee’s voice booms on the other side of the wall and you wince, looking over your shoulder then back to the computer. You huddle closer, hoping he didn’t hear that. Your mother’s drone responds to the holler. 

“Perhaps it is the format? We could explore another option for your remaining assignments. I can accommodate where necessar--” 

“Fuck off!” Lee shouts and a loud bang hits the hallway wall. You gulp and your lips part. 

“Lee, please, I didn’t-- I wouldn’t--” 

“Should’ve known better than to trust a whore!” Lee barks. 

You cover your face and shrink down. No! Not now. 

“Is everything alright?” He asks and you separate your fingers, looking through them. You drop your hands and nod. 

“Sorry--” 

Another loud thump, this time against your door and your mother sobs loudly as she slides down the other side. You stammer and your lip trembles as you stare mortified at the lens in the frame of the laptop. This is awful. 

“What is happen--” 

You wiggle your fingers on the touchpad and hit End Call. You retract and wrap your arms around your head, folding over your lap as you rock. How humiliating. You can’t believe that happened. Well, you can. It’s what always happens. 

Your mother and Lee continue to argue, their fight just outside your door. You shake your head as you stay curled over. You don’t know why she does this. These men come around, call her names, knock her around, and she lets them come right back. 

A tinkling noise comes from the speaker. Professor Smith is calling you. You decline the call. An email chimes in at the corner. It’s from him as well. You see the preview, a response to his last email. 

‘Please respond or I will call authorities to confirm your saf....’ 

You click on the notification to expand the full message. You sigh and don’t bother reading the rest as you hit reply. 

‘Everything is fine. I will take the fail. Thank you.’ 

Another call comes in. Just leave me alone! You hit the red button again and delete his last email. And he calls again. Ugh. What does he care. You’re sure he has lots of students to worry about. Another email and another call. Back and forth until you accidentally hit the wrong key. 

He appears again, closer to the lens as his forehead lines, “hello, hey, hey,” he sits back, holding up a hand as you scramble, panicking as you fidget and try to figure out what to do, “don’t hang up, alright? Don’t, or I will be obligated to call the police.” 

As he commands you, your mother and Lee continue their sparring in the hall, voices raised though not as clear from the front room. You sniff and rub your cheek, soothing yourself as you bring up your other hand to chew on your sleeve. 

“Are you in danger?” He asked pointedly. You shake your head. “What is all that then?” 

He’s quiet and you are enveloped again in the chaos outside your room. You shrug and tilt your head to one side. You look down. 

“My mom...” 

He sighs, “look, I wouldn’t have taken the time to call if I didn’t think you could do this. Perhaps, this was the wrong avenue. So, is it possible we meet somewhere neutral. In person?” 

You shudder and sit up as much as you can, wringing your hands, “I... I... don’t drive.” 

“That’s alright, is there a library near you, yeah? I can find my way.” 

You frown and flick your lip under your teeth several times. You see yourself in the little box. You look scary as your eyes are pools of shadows. 

“Uh...” you pull your hands apart and open a new tab, happy to have your image off the screen. You type into the search. You think there’s a library close by. “Yes, um, there is...” 

“Send me the location. We’ll reschedule. When are you available? Thursday? I’m afraid tomorrow I’m booked up.” 

You switch back to the video call. You feel tears tightening your throat and ready to spring. You shake your head and paste the URL of the library branch into the chat. His eyes flit down to read it. 

“Thursday,” you repeat but it’s not as much a question as you mean. 

“Thursday is good. Can we do earlier? Ten?” He asks. 

You don’t know. You’re not used to making decisions. You don’t get asked for your preference ever. 

“Sure,” you answer, just wanting to end the call and hide in bed. 

“Alright, I’ll pencil you in,” he says, “shall I stay on the call until that...” he pauses as Lee continues to bluster, “subsides?” 

“No,” you shake your head. 

He stares at you, his forehead lined with disapproval. Why does he care so much? He doesn’t know you. 

“Are you certain?” He intones. 

You nod, “I have to go.” 

You end the call and shut the computer. Your stomach is a jumble and you’re jittering with adrenaline. All your life, you’ve hidden behind these walls; you’ve hidden all that goes on there. To have someone witness it is worse than the yelling and hitting itself. 

You ignore the chirp from the laptop and throw yourself into bed. Thursday. So, another torturous purgatory begins, waiting to face the professor and your incompetence once more. 

📓

Thursday comes too quickly. 

You sit in your room and convince yourself to go. It was easier when it was just a computer screen, though even that was difficult. Only for you because you’re so messed up. Because you can’t do anything. 

What else can you do? The whole night you were awake thinking about how you would tell your mother. If you flunk out, you default on the student loan and you’re even deeper in the pit. The true consequences of your laziness are clearer now and you can’t let your sloth bury you again. If you do, you may as well give up on everything. Even life itself. 

So, you have no choice. You’re being given a last chance. Again. You’d feel even worse for not taking it than you would for failing at it. 

You pull on a hoodie and grab your house key and your knapsack with your computer and notebook tucked inside. That’s all you really have. No phone, no wallet. Just the bare minimum.  

You shuffle to the door, standing just inside as you muster your courage. You check your digital watch, an old Casio you’ve had for years. The numbers are dim and hard to read in the dark. You have to get going. 

You emerge and go down to the kitchen to sneak a sip of water before you go. Your room is always so dry at night. You drain a glass and rinse it out, leaving it beside the sink. As you turn around, you hear your mother’s bedroom door and the slap of her slippers as she slinks in. 

“Ah, honey,” she smiles dopily. You can smell liquor from there. She might even still be drunk as her hangovers usually keep her abed. “There you are! Oh, gosh, are you going somewhere?” 

“Mm, library,” you answer, “for school.” 

“Oh, smart girl,” she slurs. You try to smile but it’s shaky and weak. Your mom tries, you know that, so you can’t hate her. “Can you stop by the shop on your way? I got a twenty. Wouldn’t mind some vodka.” 

You pick at a fingernail, “mom, I don’t... I don’t like buying that stuff.” 

“Mm, I know, but I...” she sways on her feet and belches into her fist, “never mind. I’ll just ask Lee when he comes by.” 

“He’s coming?” You ask warily. 

“Sure, sure,” she turns and staggers to the fridge, “he must be missing me by now.” 

She bends, leaning on the door as she opens it, and peruses the mostly empty shelves. You leave her and go down the hall. You grab your shoes and slip them on, once more stopping at the threshold. Keep going. You made it this far. 

You let yourself out and lock the door behind you. You take the stairs down to the first level and continue out onto the street. You keep to the edge of the pavement as you weave around other pedestrians that pass. 

Your lips move as you recite the directions to yourself. You were sure to memorise the route as best as you could. You get turned around but right yourself and make it to the corner when you can see the grey brick of the library. 

You wait at the light before you cross and your heart begins to race the closer you get. Oh no, you don’t know if you can do this. You want to just run away. What if he sees you and changes his mind? I mean, look at you. You’re not some perky coed, you’re... you. 

You stare up at the facade and the large letters over the entrance. You take the first step, then the next. You focus on that. Right foot, left foot. Little things, one at a time. You can do this. You have to. 

[vampmorgue]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐖𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐌𝐚𝐧

𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐤!𝐑𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐂𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 & 𝐉𝐉 𝐌𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

📖 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐑𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐂𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐧, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬.

⚠️ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐒: 18+, she/her pronouns, pogue! reader, routeledge! reader, jj is readers ex boyfriend, some backstory, some fluff but lots of angst, dark themes, toxic relationship, trauma bond, love bombing, language, dark!rafe and him being toxic, mentions of drug use, addiction, abusive behavior, choking, smoking, weapon: gun use, violence, blood, fighting, and jj being protective of reader.

📑 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 5.1k

🦇 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄: if you or someone you know are in a similar situation, please don’t hesitate and ask for help. my dm’s are open if anyone needs to talk. ♡︎

©𝐕𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐔𝐄 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐃: 𝐃𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐞, 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐲, 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐩𝐩/𝐰𝐞𝐛𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞.

You definitely had a type. JJ was your ex-boyfriend, and he was impulsive and would get into trouble but stayed caring, protective, and loving at the end of the day. He made you the happiest when he could. You two dated for a year after knowing each other for years growing up but broke it off due to the right person, wrong timing type of thing. You wanted JJ to focus on himself as he was losing himself for a while, and you were growing distant from each other but remained friends.

As your older brother, John B. got more involved with Sarah Cameron and brought her into the group, you soon heard about her older brother, Rafe, and the stories about him, and trouble always seemed to attract you.

From the day you saw Rafe Cameron, you were intrigued by his presence, but not as much as he was with yours.

You were a Pogue, something Rafe hated, but whenever Sarah brought you over, he didn't mind it as much, almost like it never mattered in the first place. You would notice the way Rafe would be eyeing you up and down, but not notice that he would be finding excuses to talk to Sarah just to see you in the same room, and then later at night, his mind would be going crazy over you.

When you first revealed your interest in Rafe to Kie, she scolded you like you had done something bad and told Sarah; Sarah didn’t mind it but did warn you that her older brother was not the best guy to be going after. When JJ found out about it, he was shocked and unhappy that you found interest in a Kook and was more unhappy you chose Rafe Cameron out of all people. JJ made it clear to you that he moved on from the break up to not come across as jealous or anything else and said you could do better than Rafe Cameron, along with everyone else agreeing.

"Look, I just think you should keep your options open, that's all." JJ comments, hoping your brother could at least convince you as well.

With your dad being gone, John B had stepped in to protect you as your older brother, and he hated the idea of you liking Rafe.

“Don’t you dare go to that Kook party where he is!” John B chases you out the front porch as you giggle, “Sarah! Back me up on this!”

“I’ve tried, John B!” Sarah scared to intervene, "The least we could do is watch over her at the party plus, we can have a little fun?"

"Fine," John B sighs at the idea, running his hands across his face.

You weren’t someone who liked listening to others about what they had to say, especially in your life. So as a result of that, during the party at Tannyhill, after a couple of shots, you went after Rafe, which caught him by surprise, but he liked it anyway.

“Y'know, I had my eye on you for a while,” Rafe smirks, drinking from his solo cup.

John B. saw the whole thing, which angered him, but at that point gave up. “I feel like I’m raising a rebellious teenager,"

“I think you’d be considered one as well, from the things you get involved in.” Sarah jokes.

From that day forward, Rafe had you wrapped around his finger. The more you started getting involved with him, the more your friends weren't liking it and made it known.

“Oh, god, you want to be like your brother and date a Kook now?” Pope asks, with JJ and Kie waiting for your response. "I mean, seriously, what is it with you Routledges' and Kooks these days.”

“You guys like Sarah now,” you mention, “so maybe you’ll like Rafe too.”

“Ha!” JJ scoffs, shaking his head.

“I doubt that Y/N but you do you.” Kie shrugs.

“Yeah, I will,

And you kept your word, but little did they know, Rafe had also persuaded you so you could be together.

"Listen, you and I were meant to cross paths," Rafe tells you in an optimistic tone, "so let them talk,"

Three months into your relationship with Rafe, he was the sweetest boyfriend, at first. From the dates to spoiling you, him making you feel like his whole world, and making it clear to everyone that you were his. The Pogues accepted your happiness but didn’t accept Rafe; they couldn't do it when they saw how he would treat other people. He was the complete opposite of his sister, Sarah.

Now six months into the relationship, you were aware of his addiction and had mentioned your concern about it to him before, but you didn’t want to be that kind of controlling girlfriend or anything. You also didn’t want to let your friends and brother know about it because you knew they would try to get you out of the relationship with him but you didn’t want that because you cared about Rafe. You let Rafe live his life and for a while, he got better after realizing how much he was scaring you, and the sight of coke making you uncomfortable. He would smoke weed instead, which you were completely fine with since you did the same.

But then Rafe would relapse as coke was more of his thing.

Your boyfriend soon revealed another side of himself on nights when you were with him, a darkening aura surrounding him as his eyes grew more hostile. You knew he was high by the size of his pupils, and how he was getting stressed out about the things going on in his life, especially with the pressure his father was putting on him. There would be times when he took out his anger on you by shouting at you or just snapping out of nowhere by throwing things around or punching walls. Every second of those bad nights was like torture so being with him started to drain you physically and mentally as time went on, you were now in his control of what you could wear, say, or do in front of him. Every morning, you’d wake up to an anxious feeling in your stomach because of Rafe, which could’ve been your sign to leave him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do so. It was moments like this, that made you rethink your life decisions if you had never broken up with JJ, would you be in this position? Were you longing for JJ or the right treatment that you weren't getting from Rafe? Unfortunately, you grew too attached to Rafe just like he was to you. You felt dependent on him, and you grew a fear of not being able to do anything without him or his approval but maybe one day the bond would break, right?

Every time you and Rafe argued, no one was around because Rafe wanted your relationship to look perfect to others, though it was the complete opposite, he always told you to put on a happy face.

You barely saw your friends anymore because of him not trusting them but Rafe barely trusted anyone, especially Pogues.

The Pogues were missing your company, so whenever your brother mentioned them coming over, you’d ask him if he could drive you over to Rafe’s or you would text Rafe to come get you because that’s how much afraid you were of your boyfriend; you were scared of him finding out somehow that you were in the presence of your ex JJ, though you weren’t doing anything wrong or planned on it. Whenever they’d ask about you, John B’s answer was always "Rafe", so they stopped asking but JJ thought that it was weird how the only time you were home was when everyone, except your brother, was gone, and if they slept over then you’d spend the night with Rafe— which he never said no to.

Even though your friends didn’t know the full story yet, they knew something was wrong when you were Rafe’s date to midsummers— you were the youngest in the group, so they all felt protective towards you, especially JJ. Though you looked beautiful, you didn’t look happy to be there, especially next to Rafe. They had tried to talk to you, but Rafe had his arm wrapped around your waist the whole night basically and kept giving death glares to your Pogue friends. When you made eye contact with JJ, he could tell in your eyes you had this sense of hope; he didn't know what it was but he tried to approach you because he knew in his gut something wasn’t right and said if Rafe started something then he'd finish it, but Kie convinced him to not cause a scene, and JJ was mad at John B for not looking out enough for you, his little sister.

“JJ! I’m not gonna go to fucking jail if something happened because if I did, then who's going to be looking after her, huh?!” John B argues.

“I would!” JJ responds.

“Man, why’d you guys even break up in the first place?!” your brother emphasizes, “I preferred her with you! Shit, I wouldn’t even have to be in this position!”

JJ stayed silent wondering the same thing as he hated remembering the fact that he lost you. As much as JJ didn't want to admit to himself, he still had feelings for you, and seeing you with Rafe was only making it worse.

John B just didn’t want trouble, especially at a Kooks' party knowing their power but he also didn't want you to be mad at him or give the silent treatment if a fight broke out; he also didn't want to risk losing you completely away from home more than you already were. Sarah tried to see if something was up, and you were always reassuring her that everything was fine, but it was all a lie, “See, Sarah, she’s fine.” Rafe would go on to say but that was before he took you into a room just to yell at you for causing attention like it was your fault, though it wasn't.

The day after midsummers, John B had finally confronted you about being so distant ever since you got with Rafe.

"You just don't hang out with us anymore or never make the time for it!" your brother emphasizes.

"I'm sorry! I just..." you hesitate, "really love him and love being around him. He makes me happy...ever since Dad's been gone-"

"Don't you dare bring Dad into this!" John B. hollers.

"Well, who else is going to love me now?!" you cry out, storming out of the house to see Rafe.

John B's eyes filled with loss as he was watching you slowly lose yourself.

Now tonight, Rafe had called you sounding like he wasn't in a good mood, he wanted to take you out after yelling at you the day before, so you accepted it, hoping he was changing for the better. He told you he needed to make a quick stop on the way, and that stop was to meet with Barry. You were annoyed with him and felt betrayed in a way when he fully knew you never wanted to be around his drug deals let alone being around Barry since he made you uncomfortable. Rafe didn’t listen and expected you to brush it off, but you didn’t.

“Rafe, you know I’m not comfortable with you being fucking coked out around me, or you buying from Barry in front of me," you tell him.

“Can you stop fucking nagging for once?” Rafe sighs, driving away from Barry’s.

“You know what? Just me drop off here,” you point to the side of the road, “I’m growing so tired of you.”

“Oh, you’re growing tired of me?” he scoffs, slamming hard on the breaks, “How do you think I feel with you haunting my every move?!”

“Me? You’re fucking unbelievable! You’re the one who controls every fucking thing I do! I barely see my friends because of you!” you snap, getting out of the car but Rafe quickly comes out to your side and forcefully puts his hand around your throat.

“That’s the last time you’ll ever raise your voice at me again.” he sternly states, “Now get in the fucking car.”

Rafe lets go as you gasp for air and start coughing. You get in the car knowing you couldn’t be walking alone in the dark not even knowing your way around, especially around Barry’s area. You were frozen and silent almost the entire car ride, trying to process what happened. You thought maybe if you jumped out of the car, you could run away and scream, you needed to get away, so you took your chances.

“No!” Rafe grabs your wrist while nearly swerving into an oncoming car, “Are you fucking insane?!”

He puts on the child lock before driving back to Tannyhill as if nothing happened. You felt helpless as you slowly walked behind him with his tall figure that now seemed like a monster in front of you as he led the way to his room.

“Y/N…you know that I love you, right?" Rafe asks calmly, closing the door but you stay silent.

“Come on, baby,” he says, pulling you into a hug, “I’m just trying to protect you.”

“Protect me? … Protect me from what?!” you spat, pushing him off of you, “You’re not doing that, all you’re doing is hurting me!”

“After everything I’ve done and given you so you wouldn’t live that Pogue lifestyle anymore, you dare to act like this? Tsk, tsk.” he shakes his head as it gets silent again.

“You really wanna know why I don’t let you see your Pogue friends?” Rafe chuckles in an unsettling tone, breaking the silence, “Because I know you used to date that blond Pogue…so how can I trust you around him, hm?”

You don’t say anything, instead, you stare down at the floor not wanting to look him in the eyes.

“That’s what I thought,” he nods seeming proud.

“It’s not something new,” you look up at him, “You fully knew that before you and I even got together, and you’re acting like I’m not a Pogue myself…but if you ever lay on hand on me again–”

Rafe gets in your face, “Or what?”

You push him out of your way to the bathroom. You’re on the verge of tears when you look in the mirror and see the bruises on your neck, he caused from choking you. You didn’t know what to do, whether to scream your lungs out due to your frustration or see if Sarah was home but you didn’t want to cause a scene; fear is what you felt.

Now you were at your breaking point and needed to leave, needed to leave him. You saw Rafe doing lines and he looks up at you, “If you don’t wanna see this then go hang out with Sarah or something, I don’t fucking know.”

“You’re right, I don’t wanna see this or you, I’m done.” you reply, leaving his room, “I’m done with you.”

“The fuck is what supposed to mean?” Rafe follows you downstairs.

“It means this fucking relationship is over, we’re over!” you shout in frustration.

As you made it outside, you heard Rafe scream and break something that he threw. At this point, you didn’t care you were walking outside alone, you knew your way around from Rafe’s home, and you just needed to get home away from him, hoping he wouldn’t follow.

You were glad to make it home and see the sight of your brother and Sarah asleep in the living room with a movie playing on the TV. You made your way to your room and cried yourself to sleep.

It was like a parallel between you and Sarah. You were a Pogue dating a Kook and Sarah was a Kook dating a Pogue, except now she was a Pogue. One relationship was toxic and the other healthy. Sarah is happier with John B than she was with Topper just like you were happier with JJ than you were with Rafe. 

How could Rafe do that to you? Especially to someone he said he always loved but that wasn’t love. You knew that you had no love for him left in you, instead, it was hate.

꥟

The next day, you woke up to your neck feeling sore and you remembered why as you felt sick to your stomach.

Now how were you going to hide the bruises? Makeup could help but not in the hot weather. You decided to take a shower and think in there.

A hoodie. Yes, it was hot out, but you weren’t about to throw on a turtleneck so you thought pairing the hoodie with some shorts would make it look less odd, and it would be cooler by the time the sun sets. You had to tighten the strings of the hood so it would cover your neck better, and that was the best you could do.

“What time did you get home?” John B asks, making you jump, “I didn’t hear you come in.”

You shrug, “Not too late, you were asleep when I came back.”

“I see…” he replies, “Listen, I’m sorry about last night–”

you interrupt him, “No, I’m sorry, I should’ve never stormed off like that or brought up Dad that way.”

“No, it’s okay,” he shakes his head, “I know you miss him too but we’ll be okay just like we always have.”

Some time passed, the sun was setting, and you saw Sarah out on the front porch.

“Hey, are you okay? I heard you and Rafe broke up,” Sarah asks with concern in her voice.

“Oh, you did?” John B joins in, “Finally!”

Sarah glares at him, telepathically telling him to shut up.

“Yeah, we did…” you confirm, “How’d you find that out that?”

“Well, I came home last night and saw a shattered flower vase on the floor and a hole in the wall, so I was like, what made Rafe mad this time?” she slightly chuckles.

“I guess he didn’t take it well, huh?” you assume with a small laugh.

“As far as I could tell," Sarah sighs, "I wouldn’t recommend going anywhere he might be.”

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Miss. I’m too good for you Pogues.” Pope appears.

“You know that’s not true, Pope.” you chuckle.

“I know, I’m just teasing,” he replies.

“Y/N!" Kie comes running to you, “Where have you been, you bitch!”

“Well, damn, it’s nice to see you too.” you joke as she squeezes you in her arms.

“I’m never letting you date another Kook again.” she declares and you agree to it.

You feel overwhelmed with emotions with all that’s going on, but it feels good to see everyone and then remember one was missing.

“Hey, where’s JJ?” you ask everyone.

John B points over to the water where you see JJ sitting by smoking a joint, so you decide to go talk to him.

“Hey, Jay,”

“Oh, hey,” he looks up at you and smiles, “you want a hit of this?

“Sure,” you reply, taking the joint.

“So,” JJ begins, “How come you were barely around?”

“If I’m being honest…” you hesitate, “Rafe is a…control freak in the worst way possible.”

JJ chuckles, “He looks like it,”

“I know, I should’ve noticed earlier.” you mention, "I'm sorry though, I never meant to hurt you and everyone else."

“No, you’re all good, you made it out though.” he gives you a comforting smile.

“Yeah, I’m glad that nightmare is over.” you sigh in relief.

“Why are you wearing a hoodie?” he asks out of curiosity, “I’m only asking because that’s rare for you on a day like this.”

“Why are you?” you ask back, pointing out the one he’s wearing.

He laughs, “Alright, you got me there.”

“It’s a nice hoodie though.” you compliment him, hoping he'd let you borrow it one day and he would.

“Thanks, you should wear it sometime.” he teases, “Too soon?

“You’re funny, JJ...but I wouldn't be opposed to it." you turn the other way, hiding the redness on your face.

"I'll keep that in mind then," JJ smirks, taking another hit of his joint.

You and JJ just always had that spark that would always come back, and you both loved that.

JJ knits his eyebrows, “What’s that on your neck?”

Your heart drops to your stomach when you remember. He saw the bruises since you turned your head, and you didn’t want to lie and say it was hickeys but you also knew you couldn’t use the good old burned yourself with a curling iron excuse.

“Oh,” you nervously laugh, “that’s from wrestling with my brother the other day.”

“Really?” he doesn’t buy it, “John B barely even hugs you.”

He must’ve paid good attention or had a good memory of your life because he was right.

“Damn, you didn’t have to call me out like that,” you respond, joking since it’s a way of coping.

“Well, I’m just saying and I don’t think he would hurt you like that.” he adds, “C’mon you can tell me.”

“Rafe…”

“What do you mean?”

“…we were arguing, and he didn’t like that I raised my voice at him but I was only defending myself until I couldn’t,” you answer.

JJ felt his blood pressure rise so high, but he stayed calm to comfort you as he pulled you into his arms and tossed the joint away. You remembered the times he held you in his arms when you were sad about something so that’s exactly what he was doing.

"Does John B know?' he asks.

"No,"

“Listen, it’s not your fault, none of it is.” he reassures, “Rafe has his issues to work with but that doesn’t mean he had the right to treat you like that. You don’t deserve that; you deserve way better than that and more.”

“Thank you, JJ,” you say, still in his arms. “I appreciate that, I needed it.”

“Of course,” he affirms, “I’m also sorry. I wish I tried harder to get you out of that, I knew something was up— we all did but everyone was just stuck on what to do without any proof, you know?”

“No, I don’t want you or anyone else blaming yourself.” you reassure, “I still have you all at the end of the day, and that’s the most important to me.”

“Yeah, me too.” he mentions, "We're going to have to tell your brother as well."

"Hm, I don't like the sound of that." you say, "But I know I have to."

"I know," JJ adds, "but I'll be by your side if that makes you more comfortable?"

"I'd like that!" you exclaim, and he smiles.

You two hear the sounds of a dirt bike.

“Did one of them take your bike out for a joyride or something?” you joke.

“I didn’t bring it today…Kie drove Pope and I out here.” JJ says with a confused expression.

Your heart drops once again, remembering who else you knew who owned a dirt bike.

“Fuck, this cannot be happening,” you mutter to yourself as you both got up.

“It’s okay, just stay behind me,” JJ tells you.

You both watch Rafe make his way to your brother and the others.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Sarah calls out to him.

“Taking back what’s mine,” Rafe responds before looking around, “tell me where she is, and nothing happens.”

“Dude, get the fuck out of here.” John B warns him as he gets closer, “I don’t need any more of your bullshit right now.”

“Seriously, you’re crazy,” Sarah tells Rafe, “Just go back home.”

“Or what?” Rafe lets out a small laugh.

You were holding onto JJ’s arm, and you could tell JJ was getting angry just by Rafe's presence but unluckily, Rafe spotted you and JJ.

“Well, would you look at that!” Rafe calls out, “You see, Y/N? I knew you’d go back to that Pogue! You’re just a fucking slut!”

“Alright, fuck it,” JJ pulls out his gun from the pocket of his hoodie and points it at Rafe.

“JJ!” everyone but Rafe shouts.

Rafe had pulled his gun out as well and John B yelled at you to get down, so you did.

“You really wanna do this, man?” Rafe questions JJ.

JJ shrugs, “If it keeps you dead then yeah.”

“Not unless you’re the dead one first,” Rafe states, slowly moving his finger to the trigger.

You began shaking while John B motioned for you and JJ to stay quiet as he slowly made his way to Rafe and pushed him down to the ground. Shots were fired at the sky before Sarah grabbed Rafe’s gun and threw it into the water.

JJ made sure you weren’t shot or anything before he went to help your brother as Rafe was strangling him, and JJ pulled Rafe off of John B and took matters into his own hands. JJ threw punches at Rafe, but he fought back then JJ pressed his fingers into Rafe's eyes before he started to punch him again to the point of blood running down Rafe's face then JJ began strangling him back to feel what you felt the night he choked you.

John B and Pope pulled JJ off of Rafe this time while Sarah and Kie told you to go hide inside the house.

Your brother told JJ to take you somewhere far from there while they would handle Rafe, and JJ didn't hesitate and kicked Rafe in the stomach before doing so. Kie would’ve let him take the car, but it was her dad’s truck, and she wasn’t going to risk getting in trouble so he thought of taking Rafe’s bike as it added a little more taste of revenge.

After a couple of minutes, the commotion started calming down. You hated every second of it, you hated people yelling at each other, and you hated any type of fighting. You were feeling numb, all of it was happening too fast.

JJ came in, "We gotta go right now."

“Run!" you heard Kie shout as you both saw Rafe making his way towards you and JJ, who quickly grabbed your hand as you both ran towards the dirt bike.

You don't remember the last time you rode with JJ but this time, the wind hitting your face felt so freeing. An aura of colors felt like they were going inside your body as JJ sped up to where he was taking you. You took notice of the state his knuckles were in, all bloody. 

Within fifteen minutes, you both arrived near a small hidden shed near the woods. It intimated you to go in the woods with how dark it was, but JJ reassured you it was fine.

“How’d you find this place?” you ask him.

“Well,” he begins, “when I wanted to get away from my dad, I would hide here if I had nowhere else to go."

You nodded at his response, not knowing what to say as if you two didn’t go through chaos moments ago.

“This is also where John B and I first smoked weed together.” JJ laughs at the memory.

"I'm assuming this is where he would sneak off to then," you mention.

"For sure," JJ replies.

"I'm honestly worried right now for my brother and the others," you admit, "anything could have happened over there."

"The worst that could've happened is someone getting shot, but they got rid of it."

"That someone could've been you!" you cry out, "Rafe was pointing it at you."

JJ looks away for a second, rethinking the whole occurrence. 

"I was just trying to protect you..." he responds, "I couldn't risk losing you again if he had taken you or not,"

From that moment, you realized that the right one was always JJ. You both just needed the time to figure out the things in yourselves and what your heart truly desired and JJ had already done that; his heart desired you.

"And you did it, Jay," you reassure, feeling like your heart was screaming at you to spill out your true feelings, "just like you always have, it's you who I can always count on, and you've proven that."

JJ stares into your eyes, "What are you trying to say?"

"It's you who makes me feel safe and cared about, no matter what situation we're both in, you don't give up, and you're always there...it's you who I want."

JJ grabs your face, kissing you like he had been waiting to do that. You both missed this. His affection towards you always made you feel special, and you're the only person he's still ever wanted.

He pulls away, "You didn't have to tell me twice...I've missed you."

"I've missed you too," you smile, holding his hands that were still grabbing your face.

"So!" John B calls out with Sarah next to him who gives you a teasing smile, startling you, "It's a good thing I checked here first and yes, everything's taken care of."

"That's great man," JJ comments, acting like John B didn't catch you two in the middle of something.

John B pulls you into a hug when he sees your bruises and apologizes for what you went through. "From now on, promise me I'll be one of your first options to come if there's trouble."

"I promise,"

"I also just wanted to let you know, don't worry about him," Sarah refers to Rafe, "I got it taken care of and he's got other things to worry about so you're going to be okay."

Sarah had taken advantage of being her father's favorite so she just called him and took her side when she told him about Rafe's actions.

"Thank you, Sarah." you smile.

"So, you guys want to get out of here and do some illegal shit or?" John B asks, lightening the mood, "Pope and Kie are waiting in the Twinkie."

"Let's go!" JJ exclaims, "Lead the way, John B."

While everyone else gets in the Twinkie, you and JJ still go on the dirt bike with him now being the proud owner of two dirt bikes.

"Hey, listen," JJ looks back at you, "I know you just went through a lot, so I just wanted to let you know that there's no rush in anything between us, I'll always be by your side every step of the way and I'll be here when you're ready."

You smile and kiss him on the cheek, "Thank you, JJ, I'm glad to have you in my life."

JJ smiles and speeds off as you're hugging his waist, holding on tight but JJ was loving every second of it, happy to have you back in his life as well.

[konigsblog]

Hey Orla, I need your help. I’m stuck in a deep dark mental hole with Gaz and Soap right now. Can you try to save me with some Gaz x Soap x kitty!reader please? The meaner the better of course 🖤🖤🖤

aw :( i hope you feel better soon!! my dms are always open! :3 🎀

cw: hybrid (cat-human), dub-con (?) gaz x hybrid!f!reader

gaz is a mean, ignorant owner; ignoring your loud orgasms and heats to play video games all day, and scolding you for getting off on him — distracting him from his important games!

he's so fed up of your disobedience and misbehaviour, humilating you for rubbing your swollen, needy pussy back and forth against his shoe and covering him in your sweet cum, before moving to his thigh and grinding your hips back and forth against them. at first, he tries to ignore you, rolling his eyes when you purr too loudly for his liking...

he'll place the controller down, tugging on your collar and forcing you to look at him while he takes his dick from his loose boxers, and eases inside your slicken hole. your cheeks are tearstained, and your ass sore as he bucks into you, filling you up with his meaty girth. you don't want this though, it's too sore for you, since you're unprepared. you haven't had any time to pump your toys into your pussy to stretch yourself out. :( you just want to be fingered, to have your clit toyed with — maybe have a few of your cat toys stuffed in your cunt!

but gaz also has euphoric needs, don't be selfish, kitty... :3 he might lift you up, putting his dumb cat hybrid on their back and fucking into your cunny while you meow and purr loudly, your core tightening as you ride your orgasm out. but, gaz doesn't stop there — he continues for hours, because... well, this is what you wanted? it seems like that atleast, you were pawing at his boxers all day! :(

once he's finished using that pretty hole, he'll make you clean off his veiny cock, your juices dripping. stuffing his dick down your throat, cornering your head in and running his hands down your supple skin. gaz grinds into you, picking up a toy and fucking your pussy with a large cat toy!!

“don’t cry at me, kitty--this is what you wanted, hmm?” he teases, one hand on your throat, choking you brutally and cruelly while you take his big dick down your sore throat. you attempt to pant, heaving as he continues fucking into your pretty lips.

or even stuffing your cunt full with a toy all day, tied up for being a naughty, dumb cat...

[gremlinmodetweeker]

hiii >< I see you're still taking request so maybe can you write about how könig would confort his insecure s/o? not just about her weight but also her ability to do things? like "oh no I'm not good and pretty enough"

I'm going through a hard time right now so it'd help a lot T.T

(also can I slide into your dm? I want to make friend and talk about könig but I'm scared you might be uncomfortable)

Okay so thank you so so much for this ask? It genuinely warms my heart. I had an idea of writing a prompt for König comforting an insecure reader, but I didn’t really know how to start. This really helped! I do not know if I perfectly got what you wanted, but I hope it’s okay? Sometimes I am not very good at interpreting others, I admit. Also, my dms are always open (and I especially like making new friends in this community). I hope to hear from you soon, and I hope you like this story!

So, just under 2.1k words, all soft and sweet. Total fluff. TW for insecurities and self hatred, but it gets talked over. Story below the cut.

Faker

König sat on your bed behind you, watching you with patient eyes. You’d just come home from an outing, and though you had put on an act for others, he could see how it had worn on you. He knew that you couldn’t do it forever, but he didn’t blame you in the slightest. Nobody could do what you tried to do.

 You looked in the mirror, staring with blank eyes at your persecutor.

These hands, they made so many mistakes… These lips have uttered so many lies… These eyes have seen truth and beauty and joy, but now they see nothing but a hollow shell. Who is this empty vessel that stands before you? Did you ever really know who they were?

König stands up and steps forward, gently resting his hands on your shoulders, on the vessel’s shoulders.

“What do you see?” König asked softly, taking one hand to brush away tears you had not noticed.

“I see…” you paused, “Myself.”

König rested his head over you, watching you with his ice blue eyes. They looked at you, tried to hold your gaze, but the cold was too much for you to bear.

“Do you?” he whispered.

You blinked, taking a moment to sniff and recompose your dignity. Tears welled up further, but you held to them tightly, refusing to let them drop. But unfortunately, you are no God, you can defy no calling such as this. Emotions control your very being, and so you cry.

“I don’t know,” you admitted.

König let you cry. It would be cruel to stop you at this point. You tried to fight back, doing your best to build your sandcastle against the ocean, but with every hiccup you suppressed and every sniff you held back, the waves would wash over you again. And eventually, you gave up. You followed the siren’s song and drowned in your sorrows.

“I hate myself,” you finally were able to say.

König pressed a kiss to your temple and dropped his chin to your shoulder, “Why?”

“I… I don’t have enough time to go into all the reasons,” your voice cracked and warbled like a strangled seabird.

“I have time,” König replied.

“I don’t,” you said, your tone cold as the ice that he held in his eyes.

König nodded and wrapped his hands over your shoulders.

“You do not have to explain if you do not want to,” he said, his words like down on your ears, “sometimes, words are not enough.”

“It feels like they’re never enough,” you closed your eyes, unable to endure his watchful eyes any longer.

“When are they ever?” König hummed, “english is not a good language to express yourself, anyways.”

“Is it easier in German?” you asked hopefully.

You could feel König shaking his head, “Nein.”

You sniffled and opened your eyes again. You hated what you saw. You hated the kindness in his cold blue eyes. You hated the hollowness in your warm body more. Ice and fire, freezing and burning. What would be the best way to die? In your own selfish inferno, or would you let the ice of your lover’s touch shock you to reality? Or would that make you numb, too? Was it better to be numb because you had killed your cells through burning yourself alive, or through ice turning your boiling blood into nothing but a muddy sludge through your veins?

“I don’t want to be like this,” you could see yourself frown more than feel it.

“You do not have to be,” König reminded you.

“I don’t know how to change,” you replied dryly.

“Do you have to change to learn to love who you are?” König asked, taking a moment to brush his cheek over yours, water lapping over a sandy beach, “or is there something here worthy of love?”

“I don’t think so,” you muttered and turned to hide your face into his putrid mask, right where you belonged.

“Do you not think you are worthy of love as you are?” he asked.

“Why would I be?” you scrunched your eyes tight, tight enough to hear the water washing through you.

König carefully pried your face away from his mask, kindly not commenting on the mucus you’d left behind. Instead, he gently turned your chin to look back into the mirror. You groaned as he did so and tried to turn back, but such gentle hands became firm as ice.

“Maybe you should try to look at what is worth loving?” he whispered, “just try.”

“What is there to love?” you cried.

“So much,” he told you, “so much.”

You opened your eyes to see yourself. What you saw was worse than before. Red-rimmed eyes, runny nose, flushing skin. You really were a mess, weren’t you? You looked like you’d been drowned and then revived, cursed to walk the earth once more.

König cut off your spiraling thoughts with a piercing, “When I look in this mirror, I see someone who has been hurt for too long.”

“Nobody hurt me,” you protest meekly.

“You did,” his words gored into you like ice picks, “maybe, someone a long time ago said something to you. Maybe you made a mistake and it never left you. I do not know. I do know that whatever led you to think that you are nothing worth loving is wrong. It is not what you are. You are more than the past.”

“How would you know that?” you scoffed meanly.

König shrugged.

“Maybe because I know what it feels like to look in a mirror and see something I do not like.”

You turned and looked at him briefly before he redirected your gaze to the mirror, the ice in his eyes thawing with fear and insecurities you saw within yourself.

“I ask myself, what is there to love? How could anyone care about me? Surely, nobody loves me,” he said, “but I am wrong. There are people who care, they just do not say it out loud. Maybe it is because they are scared.”

“Scared of what?” you asked.

“Scared of being… Ah, what is the word… Scared of being vulnerable, I think,” König shrugged half heartedly, “but I think that vulnerability is how we grow. You cannot be strong by hurting yourself. Strength does not come from nothingness.”

“But you’re so strong,” you sniffled.

“I am strong because I saw my weakness, and I saw something lovable inside. So I worked to make what was lovable more important than what was not,” König replied, “I was afraid, small, and vulnerable. But by being vulnerable, I learned I could grow.”

“So then what does that mean for me?” you asked.

“I think it means that it is okay to hurt, but you can’t let that hurt define how you see yourself,” König hummed.

“What do you mean?” you asked timidly.

“I think that it is easy to think only of weakness. However, there is more to that weakness. I think sometimes, we need to be weak to be strong. You might be weak now,” König lay his head against yours, “and I think you can become strong.”

“As strong as you?” you tried to say playfully, but it came out grating like a gull’s cry.

“You do not need to be as strong as me,” you could see his face soften behind his mask, “you need to be strong enough for yourself. You cannot let anyone else define strength for you.”

“Do I need to be strong to be loved?” you thought aloud.

“Nein,” König’s voice hardened, then softened when he continued, “love is strength itself. To love and to be loved is to be strong. To love yourself is the strongest thing you can do.”

You pursed your lips into a line. Finally, you asked, “So do you love yourself?”

König’s eyes crinkled at the corners, “Sometimes. Sometimes it is hard. Do you not think so?”

You frown, “I don’t know. I haven’t loved myself too much lately.”

“I think you must find something to love in yourself,” König replied, “but that might take searching. You cannot let someone else tell you what is worth loving. I know it is hard, but once you find something, hold onto it. And keep holding on.”

“How can you be so sure that there’s something I can love?” you asked.

“There is always something. Even the blackest hearts can love the soot that coats them,” König mused.

You looked at yourself. You frowned, and then locked your eyes on his.

“What if I can’t find something to love?” you asked nervously.

“Then you must do the hardest thing of all,” König furrowed his brows, “you must fake it. You must tell yourself you love something, even if you do not believe it.”

You scoffed, “But why? That’s so stupid.”

“It is in the beginning,” König admitted, “but it is not stupid always. It gets better, but you have to do it every day. That is the hardest part, you know? Doing it every day. But if you keep doing it, it gets better.”

You look at yourself. Your eyes are not so red, your breathing has steadied. You look a bit better, but you don’t quite know if the word ‘better’ is the word you’d choose.

“So, if I have to lie to myself, what should I lie about?” you ask.

“Well, if it helps, whenever I see myself in a mirror, I smile at myself,” König says, “but I do not always feel it inside. But I keep doing it. I want to get to a point where I can smile in a mirror, and I can feel myself smiling back.”

“How did you decide that?” you asked.

“Everyone likes a good smile, ja?” König chuckled, “so why not have a nice smile? I think your smile is very pretty, ja, but do you?”

You cast your eyes down, looking into the deep abyss of your feet, then replied, “I don’t know.”

“Then maybe that is a place to start. Tell yourself that you have a pretty smile.”

“It sounds so stupid though,” you snort.

“It does sound stupid! But that is why you must do it. And anyways, is it not nice to smile? A smile is a powerful thing,” König smiled under his mask, “it is a tool. You need to care for your tools. So love your smile. It is, if nothing else, a good place to start.”

“And if I trick myself into loving my smile?” you laugh.

“Then find something else to love,” König determined, “there is always more to love, especially with you.”

“You really think there’s always more to love in me?” you shook your head in disbelief.

“I do not think,” König said sternly, “I know. There is a very important difference between those words. You should remember that.”

“Well, I believe you’re being stupid,” you snort.

“Believe what you want, but I will still have my beliefs. And my belief is that you have so much to love,” König wrapped his arms around you in a reassuring hug, “I see so much to love, so much I want to show you about yourself. You are so wonderful. Yet you cannot see that? I do not understand, but I think you think that there is something worth loving in me. And if you can see something worth loving in others, why should there not be something worth loving in you?”

“I don’t know,”  you admitted.

“I think it is silly to say everyone deserves love and then remove yourself from your own statement,” König ducked his head down, “and if nothing else, let me find something in you to love. If nobody else will say it, then let me say that you have so much in you that is worthy of love. All of you is worthy of love. You may not think so, but I love you regardless of whatever you think you are.”

“Even when I do things you don’t like?” you cup his head in one hand.

“Especially when you do things I do not like,” König affirmed, “because to love all of you I must love your flaws. To love someone conditionally like that is to not love at all. So I love all parts of you, regardless of what you may think of those.”

“You’re being too nice,” you dismiss him gently.

“I think ‘too nice’ is not real,” König retorted, “I think that is a stupid thing people say to avoid feeling. I am not afraid of my feelings, and so I am proud to say I love you for you. I just hope that one day, you can love yourself like I love you.”

“You really think I can do that?” you ask.

“I do not think, I believe.

[candyheartedchy]

Thank you @viridian-artist! (And I did so don’t worry lol).

Thank you anon 💗

@botwild-track1 Thank you, and sorry that you also struggled with feeling discontent with your own f/os in the past and I hope you don’t go through that again anytime soon. I was able to watch that new Disney chibi short with Scratch in it since I was looking forward to it but was worried it would’ve made things worst, but hearing his voice again was a very comforting relief for me.

@fanoffandoms23 You’re good! And you’re not bothering at all, I think your ask is sweet and I’m happy that you were able to find folks who also do self shipping here! And thank you, I’m glad my blog has a comforting vibe, even though I kinda was really depressed these past few days so I apologize if you saw my other posts... But I hope you have a good day and night as well 💗

@a-mallowbuddy I’m still a bit tired, but I feel more calm down now and not full on panicking like before. And I’m still happy that you made your blog and hope you’re still having fun in the community! And thank you 💕

@little-miss-selfships I’m sorry to hear that 🫂 I hope this week gets better for us both, and remember if you ever want to talk, my dms are always open!

@pumpkin-hazard Thank you, just taking baby steps right now.

[hearteyespierce]

tl;dr — unemployment woes, job hunting and existing as a disabled person sucks. i am open for art commissions and a post is coming soon, but feel free to dm me if you are interested! + status of my latest queer pulp novel cover redraw wip at the end as tax

being unemployed in 2024/2025 sucks, the job market is the worst for workers it’s ever been. i’ve applied to hundreds of jobs the last several months and i even do what all the recruiters on linked in say you need to do of “make a custom tailored resume and cover letter for every job you apply for 😇”/threat.

i make sure i use as many keywords from the job descriptions as possible and even run my resumes/cover letters through ATS scanners and always get around a ~90%+ match to the job description (what is considered a “great” score is apparently 80-85%), and still nothing! My applications are better than they’ve ever been but never has even getting an interview been so difficult.

i applied to a job that i have ten years of experience for in that exact role and they didn’t even want to talk to me — I got a form rejection email. That one was devastating.

and yeah, literally the worst part of all of this is that i’ve been forced to actually use linkedin as an actual social media app instead of just slapping my resume up there and ignoring it as god intended. every day i go online and see the worst takes of all time. i have found some genuinely good people and good opportunities (really hoping the one i’m pursuing right now, it would be so amazing and feel like a gift tbh to be offered this job) but the whole unemployment grind is so soul crushing.

i’ve barely had time to talk to any one who isn’t my partner who lives with me bc i’m using all my battery to try to find a job and try to build a website + portfolio for my art bc unemployment runs out next month so if something doesn’t work out i’m going to need to figure out something. i already lost my health insurance and can’t afford marketplace so i’m just rawdogging it rn as a disabled/chronically ill person, so that’s fun 🙃

but yeah, if you read this far, i am open for commissions — i have a post ready to go, I just need to wait a few days to post it publicly bc one of the examples on it is a surprise gift I did for someone and it’s in the mail to them right now. but if you’re interested, dm me or email killerxqueer@gmail.com and I’ll send you the graphics/info!

and, as promised: remember this pulp cover that was making the rounds LAST january?? yeah i sketched this back then and then. never finished it 😅 but i started painting it a day or two ago and i’m so thrilled with how it’s coming out!

[nuriiz134]

Jealousy Jealousy

so um ya'll my second postttt. kindly like it and reblog it you can always send requesttss and dm to be tagged.also those who liked and read my first post thank youuuu appreciate yoau all. please do the same for this one also. also i am open to opiniond itd finr. thankk uuu hope you like it.

summary- jake is your bsf. our roomates with you have been fucking him . you go to a club and...

pairing- y/n x jake

warnings- kissing,f!ngering, p!!ssy eating,hand tying,s!!x,jealous,petnames,cursing,unprotected s!!x {don't be silly wrap ur w!!lie} (lemme know if theres more)

genre-romance,smut

You and Jake are best friends. You and Jake had been fucking each other the past two months month. It was strictly meant to be  pleasure with no strings attached. But now when see him you feel butterflies and your heart races. You might like him.You didn’t want to ruin your bond with Jake so you held back and let things remain the same.

You had come to the pub with Lily and Rose, your best friends. They were somewhere on the dance floor in the crowd. You were with them a while ago when you wanted to grab a drink for yourself. There you met Sunghoon, he was quite handsome, he had piercing brown eyes, with well defined lips. He was quite tall, which just complimented his looks more.  You were at the bar when Sunghoon approached you. 

“Hi, I am  Park Sunghoon. Are you with someone? “No” 

 “So,I was wondering if I could have your number?”

“Hi, I am y/n wow champion slow down we don’t even know each other and you want my number.” “Well, I have been looking at you for a long time.. We could get to know each other if you know what I mean?”

“How about we get to know each other till we are together and then I can give you my number?” “Sure”

 It's been about three hours since you and Sunghoon were talking. You had a lot in common with him. It was quite obvious Sunghoon was flirting with you and you were quite probably enjoying it and answering it back the same way. 

Jake had come a while ago since you were here and was looking forward to spending the evening with you. When Jake came in, the first thing he noticed was you flirtin with Sunghoon. Since then Jake has been shooting daggers with his eyes.

You hadn’t noticed Jake had arrived yet or him shooting daggers with his eyes.

Sunghoon leaned in and whispered “wanna leave?”

you nodded. 

As we were leaving I saw Jake outside. “Oml hi Jake when did u reach you should’ve called me” 

“ A while ago, who is this gentleman if I may know y/n?” “Well umm this is Sunghoon, I met him in the bar.”

“Is it?” smiling at him. Jake snaked an arm around y/n waist and pulled her close kissed her on the cheek” “What are you doing Jae?”

“What I should’ve done a long time ago.”

“Dude, it was so nice to meet you but i think you should know this is my girl” throwing the fakest smile possible. 

“Jeez dude sorry I had no idea.” “nice to meet you y/n”  with that last statement Sunghoon left.

“What do you think you were doing?” Jake said. “What do you mean?? We never had anything going on between us?”

“Let's get back home” Jake held Y/n by her hand and got into the car.”

The drive to their place was quiet and awkward. Y/n was deep in thoughts while Jake was just infuriated at Y/n.

Soon they reached home. No matter how mad Jake was at Y/n.He always was a true gentleman to y/n and always will be. Jake locked the door to the car and held y/n’s hand and went inside their shared apartment. 

“Jake, can we talk about what happened at the club?”

Jake immediately crashed his lips onto Y/n’s lips. Jake’s soft plump lips molded against your full lips like a piece to a puzzle. Your back arched against him, as you snaked your hand around neck and held him closer. Jake tilted his head for better access, your and Jake’s tongues tussled together. Jake pulled you closer and traced his hand down Y/n’s body and held y/n by her thighs and lifted her up. Jake took Y/n to the room and laid her down on the bed, their lips not leaving each other for a minute. Jake trailed kisses down Y/n’s neck sucking at her sweet spot. Y/n  exhaled at that. Jake knew which spots would make Y/n quiver and which spots would make her cry. Jake’s hand advanced down to Y/n’s thighs caressing her inner thigh while was working upon Y/n’s neck leaving marks all over her. You could feel Jake’s hand tracing soft circles on your inner thigh as you squirmed under him.

“Jae please~~” “Please wha say it say it”

“Please” “Please what baby? Could Sunghoon have had you squirming under him, when i barely even touched you?”

“Please jake”

“As you wish princess” Jake hand went to your intimate area tracing soft circles on it. You let out a soft gasp at the sudden contact with Jake’s calloused hands with your sensitive area.He was tracing circles on the soft flesh. I uttered out a soft moan at his continuous teasing. Jake entered one of his digits inside your entrance.You let out a moan. Jake entered another one of finger and started moving them at a fast pace. You screamed at the sudded pace. “Gawd so wet for me”

All you could do was lay under him and squirm as he moved his digits in and out of you. 

“Can Sunghoon fuck you like me? Does he know your body like me? Does he fucking know what can make you go mad?”

The sensation of his fingers inside you was maddening you wanted to kiss him

“Oh my god Jake” Jake started moving his fingers at a faster pace as he moved his fingers at a quick pace. As you felt your climax nearing you. Jake pulled out his fingers. “Jake” you whined

“Nuh uh you aren’t cumming until I allow you to”

“Please baby, Jaeyun”

Jake unzipped your dress and threw it somewhere in the room. As you brought your hands down to your sensitive so that you can finish. Jake held your hands and pinned it upwards on the bed and tied it with a tie.

“Jake please.” “No”

Jake started kissing down your neck to your chest. He latched his mouth onto one of your nipples and used his hand to satisfy the other. You let out a loud moan. 

“Jake please” at this point you don’t even know what you're begging for as pleasure takes over you. 

“Please what honey words I need words .”

“Please let me touch you” you whined “Mhm” Jake slowly moved down to your pussy trailing soft kisses down as he went down there.

You let out another moan out of pleasure. Jake moved down to your cunt. Placing soft kisses on it. Jake’s tongue entered your cunt and you let out a scream.Jake twirled his tongue around literally making out with your pussy.

“Jake, yes right there oh my god Jake yes right there”

Jake fastened his pace with his mouth as he felt your climax approaching. “Yes baby, become undone for me.” That was the final straw as you became undone all over his mouth. Jake moved his mouth to yours and kissed you harshly. You started unbuttoning Jake’s shirt as you kissed down his neck. Jake started undoing his pants.

“Jae please” Jake lined his cock at your entrance. “Baby kiss me” and you latched your lips onto his kissing him with all your strength. Jake kissed back with that same passion. Jake slowly entered his cock into ypur cunt. He let you adjust to his size before he started moving. “Gawd so tight baby so tight. You feel so good omg." Your eyes roll back at the sensation of him inside you. You let out another loud moan. Jake moved in and out at a faster pace. “Could Sunghoon fill you up with his cock like I do? Could sunghoon make your eyes roll back like I do?? Could Sunghoon make you scream like you??” You nodded letting out another loud moan as he pounded into you. “Remember Y/n No one knows your spots like I do.No one can make you feel this good Sunghoon won’t make you feel this good.” Jake pounded onto you again. Your nails bruising his back.

‘YOU.” “ARE.” “MINE.” Jake felt your climax approaching as he fastened his pace. “Jake” you screamed as you cummed all over his cock. “Oh my god princessa you feel so good.” Jake pulled out and pumped a few times before he cummed all over your stomach and collapsed on top of you. When Jake kissed you this time it wasn’t hunger or lust or desire. It was love, passion and warmth. “Are you okay baby?” You nodded. “Was I too harsh on you honey I am sorry.” “No its fine” “Baby come on let's get you cleaned up okay honey and then go to bed I am going to set up a bath for you okay honey?”

You nodded.

Jake went to the bathroom and started setting up the bath. He used your favorite rose bath bomb, added rose petals and set the water warm just as you like. “Princess, the bath is ready.” “Come on, let's go” Jake picked you up as he tucked one arm under your knee and the other behind your back. He put you in the bath and went in the bath with you.

“Baby I am sorry if I was so harsh with you. It's just that it makes me angry to see you with anyone else.” 

“It's fine Jake, it's okay.” as you leaned on him. He slowly petted your head as you relaxed into his touch.” “I Have something to say to you Y/n” “Ya jae?”

“I love you. I have had this gigantic crush on you like idk since when it started way before we even started fucking. I don’t want you with anyone else except me. The thought of any other man looking at you like I do seeing you like I do makes me so angry and terrifies me. I just want you to myself. I promise I will never be rude to you. Your smile, it brightens my day if i see it once. Your eyes makes me want to go on a voyage around them. And your personality is just so perfect I have no words for it. The way I could listen to you talk for hours and hours. You have the kindest soul possible and the sweetest person on this planet. I am ready to handle your rude ass side, your nice side, your kiddish side, your horny side. Y/n Please Can I be your boyfriend. I promise to never disappoint you. It's totally fine if you don’t like me I won’t force you. I'm sorry. But if you do oml” Tears started welling up in Y/n’s eyes.”omg jake your so sweet. Of Course I love you. It is so sweet of you. Omg Jake.” 

“You do? Omg Y/n I love you.” Jake started grinning ear to ear. “I am going to go change our sheets and get you a tshirt. Okay baby lay here more. Do you want to eat something although it's 4 but whatever you want.” “It's fine, I don't want anything.” Jake kissed y/n’s forehead and got up. He spreads the bedsheet. Gets out his T-shirt for you. 

“Baby are you done? Can we go to bed?”“Ya lets go I am done.” With that Jake picked you up. “You know I can walk right?” “I know you can but you're my princess and you deserve it.” “here's your T-shirt” “I love you” Y/n wears the t-shirt given by Jake and lays down. Jake comes and lays down with y/n.

@unforgivenn @miireux134 @noeul-whumpppss