#I hope this is not the case with the people I've talked to for a long time and feel I know
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Hi, I'm the OP of this thread on Bluesky. I thought I'd come on here and upload some of the analysis I've done in later-additions to this thread, which weren't online when Tumblr-OP @carucath made this post, as well as a recent interaction with Rhianna Pratchett, all of which I think are useful bits of contextual info/expansion. I've seen a few people in the notes/reblogs saying things about the fan-desire to rush to defend their faves etc., and kind of discounting my analysis because of that. While I agree that fandom spaces absolutely do have a huge problem with that, and that retrospectively reading Neil Gaiman's work looking for 'signs' that he was a piece of shit the whole time isn't actually constructive/doesn't really add anything useful to the discourse, my intent with this thread wasn't to try to absolve PTerry or put distance between him and Gaiman (though I can see how it reads that way). I'm more interested in looking at how 'known' people like Gaiman move within fandom spaces, as well as how our parasocial relationships with public figures, and the cult of personality which some people build up around them, can often help to protect them or even enable their behaviour (worth remembering that a number of the women Gaiman assaulted/abused have talked about being fans of his work, or meeting him through fandom spaces, or, even when not fans of his work as in the case of Scarlett, still being a bit over-awed by his fame and reputation). I suspect that Gaiman's embellishment of his relationship with PTerry helped to build up his persona in SF/Fantasy fandom spaces after Pratchett's death, contributing to his personal Cult of Personality and fandom parasocial relationships with him. Over the last 5 years especially, Gaiman has had a pretty meteoric rise in the public eye outside of online SF/Fantasy fandom spaces & conventions. In particular a number of his works have been adapted for TV across various large streaming-platforms following the success of Good Omens, with high-profile names attached to them, and large marketing campaigns. By positioning his Good Omens adaptation as 'Terry's dying wish' of him, Gaiman has gained a lot of attention for it and for his other work, increased his own public standing, and thus directly profited off of Pratchett's legacy and the public perception that the two were close friends. (Obviously GO was adapted with the support of Rhianna & Rob, but, as you'll see in these other threads, we probably should think of it as being primarily a PTerry novel, with some minor input from Gaiman). Some personal context: I hold two degrees in English literature (both with Firsts, or a 3.7-4.0 GPA for the Americans on this thread), as well as a research-Masters degree in Creative Writing (with a high 2.1, because I developed a chronic illness which made me bedbound for 6 months of that degree lmao). I have a long-standing personal and academic interest in both Gaiman and Pratchett's work, and have written multiple essays on Terry Pratchett's style & his approach to genre, including some for my Masters degree. I generally stay out of fandom spaces these days, and these threads have sprung out of my own prior research and academic work. While I'm yet to seek a PhD, I have previously been employed by the English Literature department of the main university in my city, where I was the tutor for one of their undergraduate courses (this means I was responsible for organising and running the weekly group tutorials/workshops which make up the other contact-hours for students outside of lectures, providing one-on-one support and feedback for students who asked for extra guidance but didn't feel it was complex enough to go to the head lecturer, and for marking student-essays). I do eventually hope to go in to academia/lecturing, but right now am taking a few years off from studying since finishing my Masters to pay off some of my student loan debt, get my health back on track, and to focus on my creative practice and writing career.
There was an interesting thread on Bluesky dissecting Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett's relationship
TL:DR - It seems like Gaiman has been exaggerating the level of closeness between them for YEARS
#good omens#neil gaiman#terry pratchett#neil gaimen allegations#brute-forced my way back in to my long-dead high-school-era tumblr just for this#a couple of friends told me my thread was doing numbers over here and yeah#wow#hi everyone
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unleashing the same hellscape i did on my notes app here it's my nelvas thinking dump i wrote just for fun and to keep track of what i view them as up 2 this point. Might change my mind on it later on it has a lot of things written in brackets for no reason . it's like ~2500 words long which isn't much but i think i said everything i've had in my mind for now read it for fun if you like to have fun leik me :) And talvas :) And nelothxP
retyping what i said in the tags of those last text posts and rearranging those thoughts a bit: in my train of thought that's been going steady since early 2024 i'm almost certain that neloth might see talvas as the epitome of being morally Clean (before that changes because of neloth's influence over him) and generally pure as a person. pure not used in the Pervert way; neloth is just a veeery big fan of talvas having absolutely no backbone and being very docile when it comes to him. which is r expected traits 4 someone if they find themselves under neloth's thumb as an apprentice, but it being written that he isn't at all catty and defiant to his face is cute. all talvas manages to do is shit talk neloth to others and pray neloth doesn't find out he meant the things he said but also canāt help feeling bad about it, even though neloth doesn't and wouldn't care, if he found out. neloth is happy with being an obnoxious & disgusting person. truly.. him growing obsessed with talvas' docile and innocent nature doesn't necessarily have to add up to him wanting to Taint or Ruin him (and if it happens ((it does)) it's not done on purpose, neloth can't hold that much control and power of his actions in that specific department). he encounters difficulties when he realizes he actually wants that Elven Twink.. it's too far gone to fix anything after he's tampered with talvas' patience and stability, and even then he can't be honest with talvas about anything, because he still wants to hold a great deal of power over him (neloth essentials for survival).
Might be the type to just want talvas to magically(haha) think it's okay that his wizard master desires him and expect that energy right back without talvas actually acknowledging it because it'd make neloth feel insanely cringy and embarrassed.. humiliated.. EVEN. but that's just in a deep deep dark corner of his mind, he isn't stupid. when trying to gain 'access' to his apprentice ("*His* apprentice" is also kinda funny way of viewing his mind too. just cause talvas is working as an apprentice under him neloth probably already feels a concerning sense of ownership over him that makes him feel very good) he can't even make the signs of interest be apparent to talvas because he's insanely inept at being Soft and honest for obvious reasons. he can tell what possibly could make talvas warm up to him even after he treats him like shit for eons but there's no way he's bringing himself to do it (change is embarrassing, especially in their formal dynamic, and especially at his age). so it's a half-assed attempt (actually he's trying his hardestš) to try and make talvas be (at least) less afraid of him. not that talvas has any other place that we know of that he "Belongs" to, he just sticks with neloth regardless of anything. neloth watching him as he sleeps ensues . Guys what do i do to make my apprentice let me hit because all of the eye contact i do with him while gripping his arm or petting his knee isn't helping.Ā
if we were to go back to how that spark is ignited in neloth swamp of a heart, brainā¦ idk, it has to be when he realizes talvas' capability of forgiveness and 'Sucking it up' instead of lashing out at neloth after .. anything, but perhaps physical abuse in particular. neloth a 100% has absolutely no problem putting his hands on anyone, especially someone he sees so often, such as talvas. not that talvas really annoys him (his clear and voiced obedience pleases neloth as anyone can tell), but he just doesn't see it as too much of a big deal. the physical mistreatment that happens once in a blue moon isn't intense enough to scare off talvas for sure anyways. neloth is a bitch so all he can so is smack him at the back of the head (talvas finds it very normal) and slap him if he's feeling festive (something talvas finds kinda extreme but not that it happens often. he sometimes feels like he deserves it, or that neloth is warranted to do as he pleases. he tosses around it being justified or pitying himself, though). May be possible that neloth would realize he Like Likes talvas once he slaps him, mayhaps, for the first time, but talvas' immediate reaction to being treated like that is just sadness mixed with feeling shame for tearing up/crying in front of someone he respects *bishoujo sparkles sfx*. talvas is a delicate soul so he can't hold warranted emotions like that for long, and even tho it's expected of him to be making eye contact w/ neloth in a setting like that, he wouldn't be able 2 bring himself to do it because looking at neloth would make him wanna burst out in tears like a weeeee baby. Booo hooo.. talvas is the 19th century (4th era) damsel that runs out of the ball in tears after no young cavalier invited her to dance. watch this bleed into the most awkward and silent week of neloth's entire life because talvas doesn't even really feel like speaking to him or looking at him, but neloth doesn't wanna brute force the usual respectful etiquette out of him cus he thinks that's just gonna make talvas hurl himself down on some rough rocks at the seashore. Good thing talvas is very spineless and forgiving (especially in relation to nelothā¦ i mean.. who r YOU to not forgive him) so that might just last a day or two. the hurt always stays tho. neloth this is why talvas doesn't wanna smash you.. you might've made some conclusions about what elven twink you like but talvas is just even more scared of you now. was your Pervert awakening worth it. and even if we do backflips and jump thru the point where everything is too far gone for either of them to go back, dude is still too afraid to make out with his apprentice. Deserve. but why though because talvas wouldn't refuse. for what reason? we may never know
^^^ this makes me feel like i love seeing characters i reaaaalllly love (elenwen and talvas in this case) as enigmas in situations where they're confronted with something so ""Intimate"". elenwen's stance on this is final tho cause she's a grown ass woman and there's no way you could reshape her brain. ulfric left her mind plane in SHAMBLES. talvas has more right (in the literal sense) to be erratic or inconsistent with his actions. maybe he likes to be desired. Also i strongly believe that talvas has probably never been in love (for any reason rly but it's mostly him not having actual time for it + not seeing it as something that is important to him at that point in his life)ā¦ i want neloth to be his first experience with Love so that it ruin his view on it forever. can't get myself to say he'd be in love with neloth at any point though. From his standpoint it really should feel empowering and 'nice' that neloth wants him in many ways (ew).. cause that's a man with status.. power.. ability to do anything rly . talvas is in no condition to be playing mind games with him or anything tho so don't get that idea. he's not strong enough of a person to be Tricking anyone or to be Playing with anyone's feelings. neloth would be immune to that, too. neloth can just kinda tell talvas is too good and ā¦ UNTAINTED. talvas wants to see the best in everyone. too bad he genuinely detests you, neloth.. so: he doesn't actually love neloth but wouldn't be happy to see his tombstone either. SO (PART TWO): if you time it right he wouldn't be against getting Freakkkkyyyy with you okay?but no promises
even if @ some point talvas develops indistinct feelings towards neloth cause of neloth's own incessant weird-mild advances it wouldn't have to mean he just likes old men permanently now. actually it kinda does. i can sorta feel it rearranging his braincells and making him unable to normally interact with people in his age range. he probably already had a hard time talking to others in hopes of developing a friendship just cause he's timid but after neloth's nonstop abuse and Accidental romance mind games he morphs into a whole new type of guy. it's hard to notice at first but he'd probably just start to leech off of neloth's prissy and unbearable personality in a natural course of things + neloth is the only person he sees and talks to on the regular pretty much. < this can just be reworded as just the cycle of abuse and whatnot. if he notices an opening in the abilities and Smarts of another person, especially someone his age/younger, he will automatically see them as ummā¦stupid. and also insult your abilities to your face if he snaps. he strikes me as the type to be afraid to say what he really thinks (another consequence of being glued to neloth all the time when all talvas does is act like he totally respects anything he says) and gets scared if anything slips out his mouth but is proud in letting the "Truth" be known because he already figured out you're a lesser being than him. he's just cloning neloth's verbal abuse braincells though he would never put his hands on someone. his desire to be mean and see himself as superior stems from neloth always disparaging him obviously.. talvas 4 that reason is very self conscious of his abilities and doesn't rly think he's all that useful or talented. his self doubt then would play into how he doesn't know when to believe what others are saying to and about him..Ā i wanna imagine that talvas is very oblivious to neloth's weirdo status just cause he partly doesn't even want that thought to cross his mind. i bet everyone but him sees it and finds it grossš but nobody in the vicinity is strong enough to tell neloth that he should be ashamed LMFAO. if you would try and even hint to talvas that it's happening he'd never take you seriously and just get mad. he's protective of neloth's image more than neloth himself is; not that people knowing neloth has abnormal sodomistic inclinations toward his apprentice would make his public image worse than it already is (everyone already thinks he's weird so it's not shocking at all) but talvas still wouldn't wanna hear it cause he thinks it's just false. maybe he's just ashamed that he's being brought into the whole thing. also because he doesn't wanna face the reality EJI23JRIO32KJ Well talvas when neloth makes an actual move on you don't say that we didn't warn you.. we're all waiting till neloth's status as an obvious apprentice-pervert becomes obvious to you
even if he's willingly ignorant of the fact he still thinks of the 'accusations' a lot when he feels like it. and unknowingly begins feeling even more uncomfortable in neloth's presence. heart starts beating faster and everything. neloth could come up to him meters away and talvas would still cover his mouth in realization and be like "i knew itā¦ the DB told me but i didn't wanna believe it ā¦..š¦ so you really do like young men ā¦ and you're in love with me ..šØ" *Neloth wakes up from this fever dream drenched in sweat* < neloth doesn't want (obvi) talvas to react that way at any point because he himself would just get scared so they'd just be staring at each other wide eyed. but talvas jumping into his advances isn't what he wants either (that'll also scare him). neloth is still relying on talvas' politeness to let him do as he pleases. but it is impossible for talvas to let it slide without questioning anything regardless soš¤·āāļø take your few Ls and move on. neloth just wants talvas to sit on his lap. wants to spoonfeed him soup. he's so romantic. he also wants to(sniper on rooftop blows my head to bits). neloth is actually a pretty touchy feely person when he's feeling Frisky (=deranged about talvas). I'm certain his favorite part of talvas' body is his legs. talvas has beautiful young man skipping leg day legs. so nothing special at all but neloth wants to touch them lol.. let your master wizard squeeze your calves and he might just be occupied enough like a kid playing with a fidget toy to not abuse you verbally for 3 seconds. as i said befoar neloth is unpleasant with his touch because he doesn't know how to be soft + doesn't even want it to necessarily feel very 'rewarding' as to not pamper talvas. petting talvas kinda turns into a nervous habit for himself and an instrument of some sort of Reassurance 4 talvas when he wants him to know heās not mad, for example. non-vebal confirmation. talvas still finds it weird but thinks itās a charm point too. neloth wouldn't even be against touching him familiarly in front of others but only in a "older male figure" ways ex. touching his knee or putting his hand at the back of his neck (talvas sees it as some sort of disciplinary tactic though). physical touch that matches neloth's age and is enough for it to be seen as not necessarily romantic / overtly weird.Ā
there'ssssss no saving talvas after such a powerful person gets his hands on him. any will to leave would leave HIM either out of fear or out of attachment and neloth wouldn't just let him go (Alive at least) since he knows the things he knows. if talvas were to escape i'm a Truther of him not feeling in place and wanting to go back cause it's the stability that he's used to. but tbh if he encounters neloth on accident anywhere he's gonna start running. I was drinking tea while writing this and started choking on it i just nearly died writing this are youhappy. anyways, nelvas is a never-ending abusive relationship that doesnāt even have High highs, all it has is low lows. neloth always mistreats talvas for any reason but is never genuinely kind from the heart or out of remorse. .. hmmā¦ā¦yeah. I forgot to type this back out from my posts tags > talvas might just start viewing neloth as fuck crazy and demented after he Finally notices at least one molecular sign of gay attention from him . like āOh wow Master Neloth obviously doesnāt get any female attention or anything cus heās a sick fuck why does he have to search for it from me Can varona take the hit for me š„ŗ *sees her dead body being dragged by the DB* hmm i guess not well iāll figure something out i guessā (he doesnāt) also the dialogue talvas has with varona after he steals nelothās book trying to conjure some bs up will always be so cute to me heās so defensive and afraid of neloth finding out. Him trying to decipher nelothās handwriting is cute TOO ik their 19th century love letters to each other would go crazy and make sense to anyone but each other but iām not gonna talk about 19th century girl talvas x neloth rn itās too much . what ever. i think iām done thank you i should just go back to drawing them as grecian pottery red figures or smthj Fun stats for you 4 getting to the end: times the word āabuseā is used: 6
#text#i've been putting more meaning(?) into the nelvas-es i've been drawing lately so i wanted to see how it would reflect in words#the fact that dis will show up in tags will haunt me a little bit but if i add asteriks it will be incomprehensible LOL#i hope this isn't too hard to understand when reading bc i know i have an easier time reading stuff like this instead of 'snobby' writing -#- bc i like knowing how the thoughts were brewing as they were written down.#but it may not be the case for all people.#what do U think of it.#i think what i;ve always liked the most in being able to talk w/ people Online is getting to know their thoughts on the same thing#more than anything else#i literally sucked and spit out all of the skajrim lore factors out of their relationship pretty much (not that it had much in the first -#- place) so it's just a reading on a possible scenario with the characters i was given#i mean characters i put in the soup pot decorating the middle of my brain#this is december-may 2024 facts for now#just so i remember#abuse //#< OKAY#log#< is gonna be my tag for this type of thing if i end up saying more because i already started torturing my notes app with what i think of -#- civil war characters#tumblr is pussy so it made me reformat the paragraph breaks i made. they don't rly matter anyway but still
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youāre so fair, i love the jekyll and hyde fandom here itās been really nice for me so far, but sometimes i worry iām going to make a post and everyone is going to hit me with the āwrong opinionā buzzer (genuinely though, everyone is really sweet over here)
i've never had anyone be outright rude to me in all my years but i would say i have a lot of unpopular opinions and it keeps me on my toes. live and let live to everyone else but i'm not as big on some of the things most people are into. i don't like TGS as an adaptation of j&h (not to say i don't keep up with it though. as a comic it's good. and i like the author - i think they're very good at what they do, i just don't agree with the interpretation they've put out, because i'm Very Particular. i feel like it has since skewed the perspective of what i think j&h Should be. but that's just me.)
and even though i hold the Very unpopular opinion of "hyde is just jekyll in disguise, he is fully in control of his actions, hyde isn't a separate entity in any way, and the only separation is due to jekyll's own inability to reconcile with his actions" nobody's really given me any problems for it (yet). we're all just kind of chilling over here.
#answers#its a small circle too so we all kind of run into eachother eventually#i do feel a little misunderstood sometimes but oh well#live and let live to everyone#i also just. i've kept my distance from 'fandom' for years for a reason#i think j&h circles have Problems. such is the case with all fandom circles. so i stay posted#but idk. i miss the debate. i like being in circles where people Know what i'm talking about#anyways good morning to you tumblr user and i hope you have a good one
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i love latinas and black women so fucking much
im afrolatina don't be weird about this
#thinking about this one girl who used to have such a big crush on me š i hope she's going good these days she was so cute ā”ā #MANY SUCH CASES#i miss living in a predominantly latine community sometimes š„²š#it's been really nice living in a predominantly black one though š„ŗ I've never gotten to live around sm other black folk before#second picture is actually me fr#there's sm poc around this part of town in general#i can't believe i actually told one of the budtenders she had my heart going crazy š she was such a sweetie#what is it about budtenders.. there is a pattern of being v sweet to/on budtenders š with permission/enthusiasm ofc#part of me thinks they just purposefully hire hot cool friendly people. i only have budtenders I'm sweet to here but no one I'm sweet on#YET!!!!!! I will find my dispensary bae to replace the one from my old city. who's hands do i hold and kissā who do i hold and sweettalk#hello it is so nice to see you again#ANYWAYS!!!!!#there's a lot of beautiful people out there.. u can just talk to them.. most ppl r happy to talk if u have something to say#what a beautiful world. I'm gonna get out of my multi hour hot bath now i wanna go talk to somebody ā”ā and maybe make#me n my friends collars when i get back. I'm making us a matching pair ^.^ ā”ā he'd look so good in it.#i need to see him in the chain/collar/black sleeveless top trifecta šļøšļø my little masc dress up doll ā”ā #i love butches.. i love sm people š„²š#I'm all over the place. i feel like those gifs of a tesseract rotating thru everything at all times#a girl who oscillates between all her optionsā if u will..#...... soooooo painful to get out of such a beautiful hot bath. oooooooh š„²š„²š„²š#k bye
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I feel as though people (mostly people who aren't insanely wataeipilled, or involved with shipping in general) are misunderstanding what we're upset about. It's not the simple assumption that we want wataei to be "canon" and that we're upset that that can't happen because of Eichi getting married, it's that HappyEle have been on a character assassination spree recently (Izumi in Mad Party & Kohaku in Last Mission) and we're worried that's going to happen to Wataru and/or Eichi. Regardless of shipping, Eichi never told Wataru, who's supposed to be his "best friend" that he's essentially been engaged to Tori's sister for the best part of a year. If Wataru isn't upset about this, then they've done it once again, because Wataru trusts Eichi to take his mask off around him; whilst the mask is "him", the "mask's purpose" (the title of his card in EP:Link) is to hide oneself. Wataru took it off for EICHI and Eichi ALONE. He put himself on display, allowed his facade to begin to fade around him and be his authentic "self" and opened himself up to possibly even be hurt (which he was immediately, by the way, and CRIED over it. HIBIKI WATARU. CRIED. Because Eichi was indifferent to his confession of love) because he trusts Eichi, and Eichi's told Wataru before (Tempest) that he also trusts him. So, is it or is it not blatant character assassination, and possibly even going back on their more recent development of becoming more honest with each other, if Wataru is not upset with this development?
#Question isn't rhetoric btw I'm open to people disagreeing with me#wataei#eichi tenshouin#tenshouin eichi#wataru hibiki#hibiki wataru#enstars#I hope I don't sound absolutely insane here#i constantly doubt what I'm talking about whenever i talk about them because i'm terrified of being wrong#i personally think that akira will take the story in a preferable direction but we're not wrong for expecting the worst#considering how completely bastardised Izumi's character was in mad party#and how little Kohaku's emotions were payed attention in Last Mission#It's not completely out of nowhere to say 'wataei in atlantis' could possibly be the next on the list#however i sincerely hope they're not#i'd also like to mention how most of us just wanted the story to be about fine reflecting on their development as a unit and as friends#much like crazy:b's and ra*bits' climax events#and some may also be upset that that's not the case#not me personally but something i've heard#valentine's rambles
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Within months of Cravenās introduction of Banks, Craven claimed Banks had been hospitalized after dropping a KitchenAid mixer on her foot, according to both an anonymous former business associate of Craven's I spoke to, and my own past conversations with Craven. Several hours later, her leg was allegedly amputated, and nearly 48 hours after the first operation, her other leg was amputated as well. The anonymous source mentioned above claims they then contacted West Suburban Medical Center in Oak Park, Illinois where Banks was said to be recovering according to the source who saw this information on social media. When they contacted the hospital to send flowers, the hospital said there was no patient by that name. This resulted in the source seeking a third-party opinion due to fears of Craven allegedly misrepresenting himself and taking advantage of clients through sympathy.
A Prominent Accessibility Advocate Worked With Studios and Inspired Change. But She Never Actually Existed. - IGN
This reminds me of āThe Strange Case of the Electronic Lover,ā which details a very similar fraud committed by a man on CompuServeās CB Simulator in the early 1980s.Ā Like, this kind of thing is pretty much as old as the social use of the Internet.
And of course the HIV+ high school AU/cannibal mermaid Hamilton fanfiction incident.
#absolutely buck wild#investigative journalism#fraud#disability#accessibility#video games#'she dropped something heavy on her foot - we'd better cut off both her legs!' said no doctors anywhere ever#this dude Coty Craven seems to have invented not one but THREE#queer disabled POC women as sockpuppets to gain accolades and sympathy#this is the thing#most people you encounter on the internet are within a broad range of normal#and not deliberately misrepresenting themselves for any nefarious purpose#but they COULD be COMPLETE AND TOTAL LIARS and it can be really hard to tell the difference!#I hope this is not the case with the people I've talked to for a long time and feel I know
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low-coherency rambling in the tags
#the thing about IPL is thatā at least as far as i see itā they've essentially been propagating and encouraging an auteur myth regarding him#which is nothing new or unique to them; i think that people (audiences) naturally want to ascribe some Great Man Theory to everything#it's hard to conceptualize the fact that almost anything that comes from a ''studio'' will be the product of collaboration#people naturally want to personify things and attach a human face to what they like#and studios (whether game or whatever else) will indulge this by generally seeming to pick one or maybe two people (often men)#to essentially be the main ''face'' or ''spokesperson'' for the product. it's branding.#and it has an effect even if people obviously are aware that someone isnt the ONLY person who's hands touch a work#i see it in the way people take this very personal parasocial tone in how they talk about the creators they like#which is just a subset of the problem of parasociality in general but in this case i mean how they basically put these people on a pedestal#because they seem them as singularly responsible for creating Thing They Liked because of the aforementioned spokesmanship#i've seen it in how people talk about (and talk to) j sawyer and chris avellone as if they're singularly responsible for fallout#anthony burch and borderlands 2. christian linke and arcane#robert kurvitz and disco elysium (but to be very clear im not saying that makes cutting him out of his own intellectual property acceptable#fucking i don't know.... jeff kaplan and overwatch lmao#and very much with dybowski and pathologic. like the kind of memes i saw people make about him and the personal way they'd refer to him#BUT that pretty much all stopped after 2021 or so at least in the fandom spaces i saw#because i suppose people realized that whether those rumors and allegations were true or not that they did not really know this person#no matter how much they liked ''his'' game. and that he might not be a good person at all.#which is good. i think people should take that kind of ambivalence by default instead of getting parasocially attached to anyone#especially to one lead figure out of an entire studio#and then winding up distraught and disappointed when it turns out their fave did something bad#like be distraught for victims sure. but don't tell yourself you understand this person because their fiction spoke to you#and you won't wind up feeling personally betrayed.#i'm rambling big time but basically i hope people start taking this view more#because among other things. putting these people on pedestals and singling them out as auteurs gives them social power#which allows some of them to engage in the awful behavior that leaves fans feeling betrayed in the first place#and i hope that studios and creators stop leaning into it too#if it really is true that dybowski is barely involved with the IP anymore then IPL should say that.#don't prop him up as the face just because he's the one everyone knows#maybe they think it'll get backlash if anyone but him is said to be writing the game because of how much they leaned into him as the auteur
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While I know that I shouldn't apologize for this, I do feel like I'm being more inactive than I would've liked for myself even in these moments where I have free time before the training starts. Know that I love Dain to bits, always have and he's been the reason why I got into Genshin. I love his lore and everything that surrounds him. But many times it can get really dragging when the content in Genshin is lacking for the most part and for a character that has so little about him, the fact that there is so little content to go with as things stand worsens it.
It becomes even harder when there is a newer game that will barely make it to a year soon to compare it with. And no, I won't get into the "Genshin would never" because I find that stupid and it's not the case. But it's the gameplay, the storytelling and a whole list of things that I won't bother to write up here that I discussed in private with friends. As for what the current circumstances go, it's hard to think that H.YV is taking it seriously with this game when, as soon as they finish the main arc of the newest nation, we're jumping from one festival to the next without little regard of the aftermath of the current nation after everything it went through. I don't want Genshin to get suddenly gore-y or anything of the story, but it does get sad when this game story becomes interesting when it gets dark. It has many reasons to be and a select amount of antagonists to make it interesting if it weren't... because they make it laughable at this point, so not-threatening or they pull redeeming qualities out of their behind for marketing purposes. There are many interesting things that could be done in Genshin both from the storytelling and gameplay perspectives, but eventually it's all reduced to this go-happy thing that in essence, feels so forced.
To conclude with this ramble, I just wanted to say that I've been feeling demotivated and it's showing to me, I can't imagine what it'll be to you. Know that I won't stop writing Dain, he's been the muse I've been the most invested in years and it'll continue to stay that way. It's just that... it's being hard in my end and that I'm trying my best to get out of this by thinking new things to address with him. All in all, I hope that the team responsible for Genshin will get their poop together soon and get serious with it.
#I don't joke when I say#that the best way to go in this case#is plotting#the back and forth#to keep the mind working#because the game certainly isn't at the moment#and it'll continue to stay that way for one more patch#even the new banner is ridiculous for multiple reasons#but I've been sour enough in this post#to talk about that too#it's little wonder that I'm seeing more and more#people begging for Dain to return#because everyone knows that when he does come#things are getting serious and worthwhile#I hope he comes in 4.6#and they don't stall him more#even though I'm anticipating 4.6 to be interesting on its own#without his intervention#but it's been /that/ long man
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meowdy... <3
#i'm so close to caught up on everyone's lovely art and fics ;_; hghghgh and if you've sent an ask i'll answer it soon!!#[to the one person who knows who she is: KJSNKJN. KJSNDKJNDKJ. AAAAAA???? (positive)]#i've been very avoidant lately of online spaces ;; pt has been hard on my wrists so i haven't been able to work much on my plushie#and typing has been just as hard -- if it isn't the pain it's the inflamed nerves wrecking my hand-eye coordination#so i think i'm pressing keys when i'm not or i'm pressing all of the wrong keys. so it takes me twice as long to type anything ;;#i'm hoping we're building a good rapport tho and finding an equilibrium between Not Pushing Enough#and TOO MUCH TOO MUCH OW OW OW (week-long whole-arm nerve pain) kjsnfkjn so. i hope that means i'll be able to type regularly again soon!!!#we're just in the learning phase of both of us figuring out what my nerves can handle without exploding lmao. turns out: not much!!#i really want to talk to people again rghhhh i miss everyone sm!!! i keep being like 'wow i'm so lonely i wonder why that is'#<- has been disconnected from friends for many weeks#i WAS finally able to finish ren's face tho! very slowly! and i'm close to done w the body embroidery!!!#excited to have that done. not excited to start hand sewing. wish i had a working sewing machine even if i could only sit at it#for a few minutes at a time sjdfnskjn life could be a dream...#HENNYWAISE. hopefully i will soon have my carpal tunnel and pinched nerves reined in. my mars anniv is tomorrow#and i don't have anything to show for it bc of my wrists so. blows a kiss into the sky for her <3 my beloved oc-ified oushirou KJNSDKJN#i'm rambling and dont want to edit things bc pain from today's appointment ok i love u byebye šš»šš»šš»šš»šš»#š [ my posts. ]#š [ my thoughts. ]#vent -#<- just in case
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Hi, can i ask you why in your opinion some people consider the moors a proper character in wuthering heights? Do you think the story would have been so different if it had been set in a different location?
I've wanted to sit on this for a bit to see if I changed my opinion/reaction, because I thought of an answer instantly. I'm going to be sincere, what I thought was "because people have not read enough (good) books".
I'm not entirely sure why people consider the moors a proper character because I don't think it works as one at all. I imagine a big part of the reason why is the appeal of the aesthetic and how powerful an impact it has had culturally and even in general in the collective imaginary, but I don't think that's exclusively due to Wuthering Heights. Trying to dig more, I'd say it's because of the importance it has for the characters, emotionally, narratively and symbolically. And, digging even more, I imagine it's due to the metaphysical bond and even ontological identification between moors and characters some people read into it.
Most if not all of these characteristics are typical of significant settings in books, though. They don't necessarily confer the settings the title of "character". And, as much abstract personality as they may have, in my opinion the moors are lacking something to be comfortable calling them so. In Wuthering Heights I'd say the house itself, Wuthering Heights, feels more like a character to me than the moors. Still, I'd say even then there's a certain something missing.
As much character or importance in ambience setting Bly Manor has in The turn of the screw, I don't think one could freely say it's a character on itself; that's sort of the situation with the moors in Wuthering Heights, I think. In comparison, Comala in Pedro PƔramo, Hill House in The haunting of Hill House, Macondo in One hundred years of solitude or Vetusta in La Regenta, to name a few, feel a lot more like characters. They are books in which the settings themselves feel fleshed out with care, thoroughly developed like a character, and they even read as having a certain will of their own, as actively participating in the narrative at times. The moors in Wuthering Heights don't work that way. And it's not a bad thing. They don't have to, that's not their role.
Now, on the question about whether I think the story would be so different if set in some other location... I think the answer is both yes and no? Of course the book would never have been exactly the same had it taken place somewhere else, and the heather and in general the description of wildlife and vegetation are symbolically meaningful. But also, I didn't have a clear image of what the moors were when I first read the book. I imagined something infertile, isolated and cold, but that's it, and it worked. I didn't know how the English moors were at all.
I do think the isolation aspect is necessary to make Wuthering Heights, and I'd say perhaps even the cold and generally bad weather, but it's also true in a similarish way Pedro PƔramo works with a place that is very hot. Ultimately it's up to the writer, and it will work if it's well written and well waved alongside the other parts forming the book. Wuthering Heights was waved with the moors in mind specifically, and it works. Would the story in abstract be much different if set somewhere else? Not necessarily, probably not, but it wouldn't be exactly Wuthering Heights, just as it wouldn't be if one were to change any other of its characteristics.
#The stormy windy weather works very well with Cathy's moods specifically for example but I don't think we see her be influenced or changed#by the weather the way Ana's mood is influenced by the rain in La Regenta for example. Which doesn't make the moody weather less important#It has symbolic and aesthetic aspect and in art that's very important on its own#Is the weather/wildlife/vegetation/setting important in Wuthering Heights? Yes of course#Could one set a similar story somewhere else and still be able to convey a similar effect and mood? Also yes. There are examples#I think I've talked about this before with both @faintingheroine and @13eyond13. About the importance of the setting in Wuthering Heights#and how other similar stories could be set in some other very different places. Or how despite the setting being very particular#in Wuthering Heights the story works and is very popular in other very different and at times faraway countries (such as Japan for example)#because more than the specificity of the moors the setting depends on the infertility perhapsā the mood it sets#and how it works with the narrative and charactersā and mainly the isolation#One can easily translate that into something relevant to their own place and culture so to speak#I didn't want to include this (and some other things haha) in my reply to avoid making it longer stillā but here it is just in case#Also there's an idealisation of Wuthering Heights in certain particular aspectsāwhich is something I talk about often with @faintingheroine#I think that too plays a role in making people consider the moors a proper character on its own#The topic is very interesting and this was fun to think about. Thanks for the question!#I hope my reply was articulated enough. I've been awake for thirty hours. I'll try to remember to come back later and give a look though#I talk too much#Wuthering Heights
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You're getting a bass this weekend? Sick. What kind if you don't mind me asking?
It's pretty dependent on what ones are available at the store, I'd like to try to get one secondhand (some people say you feel closer to instruments you buy new? But for years I learned and played on a secondhand saxophone and loved the instrument dearly) so it depends on what's there and the price. Hopefully there's something in my price range because I'll need an amp too. I also, uh, have no clue how to play a bass, so I figure I'll start on an inexpensive-but-decent one and see how it goes from there?
I read up a bit and saw good things about some Squier Classic Vibe and Ibanez SR300 for beginners, Yamaha in general too. I'm not picky about the brand right now, I figure I'll get a more nuanced opinion as I learn and figure out what sound I want? One reason I want to go to the store is so I can try to get my hands on some to hear the sound of them, and choose from there.
#sorry it's not a more nuanced answer but alas i am a total beginner#i've been wanting to play music again for years rbh but for reasons beyond my control my saxophones are. out of reach#it's. complicated? or. well. not really. but it is frustrating#but they've been out of reach for years and i dont know when i'll get them back#but i dont want to buy A Third Saxophone so im switching instruments! it was between a bass and a theremin tbh#i also don't know if i want to lean into a more metal sound or jazz sound and that'll determine future bass purchases i imagine#if you know more about basses and have advice would be happy to hear/read it#(also. am hoping that an amp for a bass will work for a theremin in case i decide to learn that in the future)#((it COULD be worse i COULD be building an Apprehension Engine. which was made specifically to score horror movies.))#i am excited to learn to play bass though. i've missed music a lot and i think if i can get into the habit of playing regularly it'd be good#sorry for all the tags too. lmao. i don't have many people to talk to about this
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went to my first con in 4 years on Friday to meet Kaiji Tang and got a Dazai autograph + video recording of him reading to me. He was the sweetest person (as I knew he would be) and interacting with him was lovely, but also at the same time oh boy it sure was an extremely stressful, ugly wake-up call of what it feels like to live in a world now where everyone around you has blissfully moved on from covid and can enjoy things normally and happily, while you'll forever be trapped in a hellscape of perpetual fear š« š« š«
#like. to be clear this was the first time i've been literally anywhere but doctor's appointments in 4 years#not just because of the pandemic but because of mental and physical exhaustion#so it was a Big Mistake to go from 0 to 100 and not ease myself into it at all#but at the same time........ it was a fucking hellscape of people. i don't think any kind of buildup could have prepared me for it at all.#it was so much less crowded in 2020 (ironically the very last place i ever went; literally on the BRINK of covid)#and now idk what it's become. a monster con. it was unbelievable.#but i was only there for less than an hour but i was so so so terrified that i very nearly left before even seeing him#i couldn't even fully enjoy meeting him as kind as he was because i was so anxious and distracted#and when i got back to the car i just fucking cried.........#the last five days i've just been sitting in fear waiting to feel Any sort of symptoms#i wore two masks and again was barely there for long but Still#and everyone around me was so chill as if everything was normal and No One was wearing a mask :))))) it's not fucking fair man :)))))#insert the 'they don't know' meme; they don't know how much covid can destroy your body even if you get a 'mild' case#i would never want to be that ignorant even if i wasn't disabled and didn't have reason to worry (but everyone has reason to worry!!!)#but also. ignorance is bliss and it just really fucking sucks man.#it really fucking sucks. why do they get to be happy and enjoying life and not /me?/#why can't i do just ONE thing for myself without having it tainted by anxiety and fear that i'm going to die horribly???#while they get to do fucking EVERYTHING???#if they all just wore masks we could all enjoy ourselves much more comfortably than some of us are now#but no that's too much to ask from people ššš#shit sucks man. the world sucks. something that should be a happy memory for me was simultaneously the most awful experience#and i don't know how to feel about it now that it's over#he knew that i was afraid and at the end he told me that he hoped to see me again at another event someday#and that made me cry because it felt like dazai telling me to live. and i want to. but i don't know how to when the world is like this now.#i desperately want to be able to see him again someday but right now after how terrifying that was i never want to go to a con ever again..#i wanted to ask him things about the manga and about dazai but i was being rushed and stressed so i couldn't ugh#(and doing that is hard enough anyway cause disability and i have to talk with my phone bahhhh)#at least i was able to give him my note *sigh*
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I have two questions:
1. Have you ever considered writing a book that you would want to get published?
2. I wonder if you will explore Mattās blindness in TRT. Like for example at the end of the day Matt did lose his eyesight and maybe sometimes wished he could see Jane. It doesnāt have to be a big thing because Matt has accepted his disability but like a moment when heās just really wants it. Idk I thought it would cool
1. Iāve thought about it, yes! And Iāve actually got an (unedited) trilogy of vaguely humorous, post-apocalyptic scifi adventure books thatās like... halfway written, and that Iād love to get published. I was actually in the process of working on Book 1 when Covid hit, and then my writerās group kinda... collapsed, which is when I promptly discovered that as an extrovert, I desperately need interaction to make The Story go. No interaction, no drive (and thatās also why fic works fine). And sometimes I toy with the idea of starting up again, maybe with a new writerās group. Iām also looking into taking a lot of the original elements of TRT and then self-publishing that (with some changes to get Disney off my back obvs), which would let me keep the fic up, too. Not sure! I definitely have plans to try to get a book published eventually though!
2. Sometimes Iāve thought about it! I may touch on it eventually, though very, very delicately. Like you said, it wouldnāt be big because I really do think Mattās accepted heās blind and he doesnāt see it as a bad thing, and itās really not. I do admittedly think he probably still gets understandably frustrated at how blatantly inaccessible some things still are (ex: i literally walked by a coffee shop that had a printed piece of paper inside the window in small print that said ālarge print or braille menu accessible on request!ā and I was like... ok but a blind/visually impaired person canāt read that???). Cause thatās the truth of it - he is still blind. Heās got a disability that affects his day to day and even if heās happy the way he is (or thatās how I read him), he still needs his aids. Iāve tried to make that clear in TRT - Janeās taken up his labeling system with braille, she leaves things in *very* specific places because Mattās got an organization system he needs, he uses his ear pieces and refreshable braille display. And yeah, as someone whoās disabled myself, I could see him now and then going...Ā āI wish I could see just for a secondā when thereās no solution for something - when heās touching old pictures of his dad, or now and then when heās with Jane, in the same way Iām sometimes like, āI wish I could literally run somewhere without pain, just to feel the windā. Itās a passing thought usually, but itās probably there now and then for him. So the thoughtās rattling around in my brain, definitely. If the right moment in fic comes I can see touching on it!
#ask response#the red thread#daredevil#on matt's blindness and disability#sure i'm disabled but mine's different than matt's so i try to be aware of that while navigating it in fic#we know based on ep 1 with his brief mention that there *are* things he'd love to see again - the sky in that case#and so i think jane would fall into that category#but we also know he doesn't see his blindness as something there to hinder him based on what he says to foggy when talking about stick#and in some ways he sees her more deeply than anyone else on this planet#he just sees her without vision#he hears her heartbeat and all the other little pieces of her no one else gets to hear#he gets to experience the comfort of her scent at a fundamental level#he gets to feel the way her temperature changes when she's excited or happy to see him or when she sees a kitten#and when he kisses her he can taste *so much* of who she is#he doesn't need sight to know her#and i honestly don't think he'd ever trade his senses for getting his vision back because he's happy the way he is#but there'd probably still be a moment now and then of 'it would be nice if i could see her just for a second'#as for getting published one day I can oooooooooonly hope!#i've got stuff written already that either needs to be finished or edited#but it's hard in original work cause I need that back and forth interaction with other people to get my inspo flowing#i'm definitely hoping to get published one day though and i'd love to make writingĀ a profession#fingers crossed!
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finished my second bingo card from @ficreadingchallenge, woo! thanks again for hosting this event, it's great fun! š
list of read fics under the cut
1. multichapter fic
Countdown by prairiecrow
Garashir, DS9, 8,090 w, rated teen
summary:
Garak is poisoned, and Bashir finds himself in a race against time.
2. mythical creature AU
beautiful eyes lookin' deep into mine by sarahcakes613
Barisi, SVU, 1,664 w, rated gen
summary:
Rafael hasn't seen his reflection in almost six decades. Sonny finds a magic mirror.
3. less than 20 kudos
I'm Thinking Pastels by harinezumiko
Garashir, DS9, 100 w, rated gen
summary:
Prompt: garashir, magical unicorn adventure.
4. found family
Two Fools And Their Son [series] by Talvenhenki
Garashir, DS9, 5,227 w, rated gen
summary:
Julian adopts a child. As the child grows, so does Julian's family of misfits.
5. historical AU
Our Better Natures by OnlySlightlyObsessed1
Spones, TOS, 1,429 w, rated gen
summary:
Spock couldn't let it happen again.
6. future AU
I will die in the house that I grew up in by justhockey
Buddie, 911, 3,169 w, not rated
summary:
Loving Eddie is like breathing past all of the broken glass in his lungs. Buck canāt believe he gets to have this - canāt believe he gets to hold something so precious in his shaking, bleeding hands, and is trusted not to ruin it. Heās not sure he deserves that kind of faith, but he will spend the rest of his life being grateful for it anyway. Heāll spend the rest of his life trying to deserve this family that heās made.
7. 5+ year old fic
Letters from the Northern Continent by thehoyden
Garashir, DS9, 7,966 w, rated mature
summary:
It just figured that the first time Julian Bashir set foot on Cardassia after the war, it would be halfway around the world from Elim Garak.
8. fic with no comments yet
Big Medicine by LadyDrace
Garashir, DS9, 100 w, rated gen
summary:
Doctors make the worst patients... and tailors don't make very good doctors either...
9. hurt/comfort
Here, at the End of All Things by sahiya
Garashir, DS9, 17,929 w, rated teen
summary:
He was no oneās choice of nurse, Garak reflected, even if Bashir seemed to tolerate him more than anyone else on the station did. Garak had been trained to inflict pain, not to ease it; to terrify, not to comfort. Bashir had shown Garak more tenderness and care than anyone had in many, many years, and the idea of trying to play that same role for the good doctor now was, frankly, a little intimidating. Not trying at all, however, simply was not an option.
10. fix-it fic
you standing in the doorway by Mireille
Stony, MCU, 1,420 w, rated teen
summary:
The most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway / Is that it's you and that you are standing in the doorway - Mountain Goats, "Going to Georgia"
11. genderbend
Magic is the Worst by arianapeterson19
Tony Stark (gen), MCU, 1,354 w, rated teen
summary:
As far as magic went it wasn't the worst thing to have happened to Tony but it also wasn't turning out how he wanted. He was going to find Loki and demand a refund. OR The one where Tony gets turned into a lady.
12. de-aging/kid
Kid Steve by Neverever
Stony, Avengers Assemble (cartoon), 1,752 w, rated gen
summary:
It's all fun and games for Kid Steve after being de-aged by the Impossible Man, until asthma attacks.
free space
Bombing It by tokidokifish
Garashir, DS9, 1,112 w, rated gen
summary:
āHappy birthday.ā āIām sorry, my dear doctorāI think youāve mixed me up with someone else.ā āI havenāt. I know you wouldnāt ever tell me your real birthday, but I still wanted to give you something to show how much I appreciate your friendshipāso I just picked a day with appropriate significance in human culture.ā āThe first of April.ā āExactly.ā ā Julian wants to give Garak a gift, so he simply picked a day to do it.
13. bodyswap
i'm yours, body and soul by meidui (orphan_account)
Stony, MCU, 749 w, rated gen
summary:
When Tony wakes up in his husband's body at six in the morning hundreds of miles away from his conference, he almost puts a pillow over his head and goes back to sleep because, really, stranger things have happened.
14. daring rescue
come out to the sea, my love by allyasavedtheday
Buddie, 911, 8,035 w, rated teen
summary:
āBobby,ā Maddie exclaims. āItās Buck.ā Eddieās head shoots up, hand immediately going to his own radio. Did something happen? Is it another clot? Did Christopher call 911? Is Buck on the floor bleeding out while his son watches- āHe and Christopher were on the pier.ā Thereās one dizzying moment where Eddieās vision completely whites out and he loses all control of his limbs but then a strong hand is gripping his arm and he manages to pull himself together enough to focus on Bobbyās face. āMaddie, how do you know that?ā Bobby asks and he sounds calm but Eddie can hear the tension hidden in his voice. This canāt be happening. This canāt be happening. āA girl with a drone called 911- she sent me the footage and-ā Maddie lets out a hitching breath. āTheyāre stranded on top of the 136ās ladder truck.ā * Tsunami au in which the 118 find out about Buck and Chris being stranded on top of the ladder truck and come to rescue them before they get separated.
15. fic written by someone who follows you
a line drawn in the sand by crazyassmurdererwall (smartalli)
Buddie, 911, 5,655 w, rated teen
summary:
When Eddie forgets about a family tradition and canāt get off work early, Buck steps in and takes Christopher to Abuelaās for him. Eddie doesnāt expect Buck to still be there when he gets off work. He doesnāt expect to tell Buck how he feels. And he doesnāt expect to stand up to his parents. But maybe itās about time he did. Maybe itās about time he go after what he wants.
16. unhappy/bittersweet ending
Flowers for Julian by peytra
Garashir, DS9, 1,232 w, rated teen
summary:
A late-night conversation about time and gardening.
17. short fic (<1000 words)
Sleep And Be Peaceful by Elemental_Queen
Garashir, DS9, 214 w, rated gen
summary:
Garak comes home late, and finds Julian asleep on his couch.
18. BFFs
I really love you (oh, youāre my best friend) by stellarpoint (pettifogger)
Steve & Robin, Stranger Things, 1,457 w, rated gen
summary:
Robin approaches him slowly. She sees herself in the mirror: still dirt-smudged with bags under her eyes and dried blood obscuring her freckles. She rests her hand on Steveās back and feels the rattle of his breath under the vest he still hasnāt taken off. āItās okay, Steve.ā He jerks his head up. His eyes are red-rimmed and shining. She slides her left hand all the way around his side until sheās hugging him from behind. She presses her cheek to the denim covering his back and closes her eyes. āItās okay, dingus. You can let it out,ā she murmurs. She rubs her face against his back and slides her hand down the bare skin of his arm. āItās just me. You donāt have to pretend youāre okay.ā Or: Steve has a tell for when heās trying not to cry and Robin seems to be the only one who notices it.
19. pets
Birthday Surprise by PepperSpicedLatte
Saffi, ST: Picard, 100 w, rated gen
summary:
Evie, their beloved cat, has a surprise for Raffi
20. mistaken identity
What Happens At Comic Con by Heartithateyou
Stony, MCU, 1,164 w, rated gen
summary:
So Steve likes to go to comic con sometimes. And just maybe he dresses as Captain America. And perhaps he might flirt with an Iron Man cosplayer. But can you blame him?
21. remix fic pair (worth 2 spots)
out of the mouth of babes (a childish remix) by Fluffypanda
Stony, MCU, 3,745 w, rated teen
summary:
Tony doesn't know how to deal with a child-sized Steve that seems to think they're friends.
22. new (to you) fandom
when you think you've tried every road by firstaudrina
Tristan Duffy/Liz Taylor, AHS: Hotel, 3,224 w, rated teen
summary:
Normally Tristan would brush off someone eyeing his ass but this is different, somehow ā like Liz looked at him once, and wanted to keep looking.
23. lyrics title - listen to the song too!
Crawling on Your Shores by Mireille
Stony, MCU, 9,600 w, rated teen
summary:
Compared to the last time Tony was trapped in a cave, this should be a piece of cake. It's really not. His armor is damaged, he doesn't have anything to work with, and he has an unconscious supersoldier on his hands. It's definitely not a piece of cake.
24. slow burn
keep a bower quiet for us by starghost
Garashir, DS9, 20,218 w, rating gen
summary:
Julian Bashir goes on vacation, and ends up stuck on Earth, in the past, with Elim Garak. Things could be worse, probably.
#Smowkie talks#summer fic reading bingo#ficreadingchallenge#garashir#barisi#spones#buddie#stony#i realized i automatically put MCU on all of the Stony fics on the bingo card#so that's why one of them doesn't match fandom with the linked fic#in case anyone notices xD#still Stony though!#also last time i didn't put any fic on the free space but i did on this one#idk how people usually do with those? it feels logical to me to not put anything there#but i know some people do use them#i could have put another fic there i've read plenty enough#but it feels a bit late for that now xD#so i hope it's okay either way
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Tbh I should probably take a break. I almost definitely won't but I should, yknow
#idk i don't have much 'real stuff' happening irl besides like. job hunting and college applications. so it's hard#but i think if i at least ease off some time on here n read a little more n watch more movies i might start to feel better#haven't really liked where my head's been at lately it feels like whatever persona is The One Who Blogs is 'taking over' more#to put it in a very dorky comic book-sounding ass way LMAO but that's how i feel! like i'm losing my own 'voice' yknow#my mental health is Bad my physical health is also Not Great n i kinda feel like ass. if i'm being honest#idk i feel like i'm crashing from whatever high i've been on for the past couple of days n i'm not Really super happy w myself#except the media literacy posts those were good. but like the more discoursey stuff i'm not proud of#again sorry to like. publicly vent LMAO i'll be fine i'm good. i'm trying really hard to pull myself out of this#but again. sorry abt the Shite i was posting earlier today i wasn't really in my own right head#just kinda wanted 2 get all that off my chest idk if it's clear that i don't really have anyone i feel like i can talk to right this moment#i'm very socially isolated irl and i'm so scared of becoming socially isolated online too just bc i'm an idiot who doesn't think b4 he post#NOT to make it sound all about me or whatever but it's true. i'm very very scared of losing people n right now this is My Space#i'd forgotten just how bad it felt. in this Specific case it is kinda my fault tho LMAO don't worry i've apologized as best i know how#okay i'm done. i'm done. i'm gonna go watch tv and go to bed i hope#open mick night
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whenever there's emperor "empy" bg3 discourse anywhere, on teh interwebz, in your mom's asshole, on many hills to be died on etc. etc. etc.
#something something GET BEHIND ME EMPY#when empy's supposed to radiate red flag extraordinaire but the twist is actually that he keeps to his word and doesn't betray you <3#some events could've been written or executed better or at least based on approval (you know the scenes im talking about)#i turn into the joker when no one bats an eye about astarion killing 7k spawn just so he can have a little more QoL in daytime#but everyone loses their shit when one (1) unwarranted 'mercy kill' attempt is refused out of self defense purposes <3#blah blah. the meta of people having double standards in terms of appearances and dare i say race (hopefully unconsciously but still yikes)#blah blah. i hope to dear cheesus christ that this behaviour doesn't (unconsciously) bleed into real life for these bitches <3#double standards. double standards and the most insane outlandish takes i've read everywhere (turns into buzz lightyear)#like fr i'm gonna be honest i'm glad empy actually just tells it to you straight regarding his methods to gain trust#every time a fictional character is reduced to simply 'GOOD or BAD HURRDURR' an angel loses its wings. forever#many such cases. sad!#sy.txt
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