#I hope I improved

[itz-candikin]

The Guilt Of Being The Big Sister

TW: Implied child abuse, implied SA, vent in form of dumping onto my OCs

Characters: Nikki Elone, Morena Elone, Tommy Sweet (mentioned)

Nikki was the oldest, she knew the problems of the family first. She always comforted her siblings when they got hurt, she even promised she would protect them and eventually help escape. She promised, and promises weren't supposed to be broken... right?

Nikki walked on a empty sidewalk, during the dark of night. Her skirt was covered in dirt, her fluffy coat feeling as comfortable as getting stuck in sticks, and the off white shirt looking even closer to brown. She was used to the treatment her 'fans' gave her, she's been used to it for a while. Her expression was empty, just like her brain, the only signs of any emotion was her slightly watery eyes and how the messed up makeup makes it look like she was frowning. Just walking endlessly, showing no signs of stopping.

Morena was walking the opposite side of the sidewalk, cheerful as can be. She was in her usual outfit, top hat with a crop top, shorts, and a hoodie wrapped on her waist, all in shades of brown. The dirt was barely visible, though the diamond on her hat was barely even shiny. Her hair looked as if she just woke up, but her eyes tell a different story. She was humming, as if she didn't remember what happened just around a hour back.

When Nikki saw Morena, she didn't even recognize her at first. After all, when Nikki left at 18, that would have only made Morena 14. Morena back then was just a ordinary girl, who always got A's and never felt the need to talk. Morena back then always was trying to leave her house by in investing herself into the stories she read. Books were her home, the only friend and family she wanted, the only friend and family she needed.

This wasn't Morena to her, this was a stranger. The girl she knew bloomed into a woman, but to Nikki she was still that little girl. Despite them being strangers, Nikki still gave a small little wave at Morena as she passed by. Morena waved back, she immediately recognized her sister. Nikki hadn't changed a little bit, still using the same loud yet dumb party girl persona she created so many years ago. She quickly yelled out "Oh hey there sis!" As if they still lived in the same bedroom like they used too.

When Nikki heard that voice, it felt like someone pierced her heart while she wasn't looking. Morena may have grown, but that voice never changed, just the tone. Nikki knew something was wrong, deeply wrong. She thought for a minute this must of been a dream, Morena should be an astronaut, an astronomer, or at least a teacher by now. Not some woman she could confuse for anyone else. Why doesn't Morena shine bright from the crowd? Why does it feel as if they never knew each other, as if they didn't spend all their nights watching the television or talking about their deepest secrets?

She hadn't even realized she wasn't moving anymore until she heard that voice go again, saying "Nikki, what's with the shock?" Nikki felt her eyes not be able to hold it all down anymore. She couldn't fake her way out of this. She just locked in at Morena's eyes, trying to recognize the girl she knew, and not the woman she saw. She guessed she couldn't blame Morena for asking. She shouldn't be so surprised at this sight, after all she ended up the same way.

Nikki was acting like as if she wasn't a little girl before, with hopes and dreams. She acted like she didn't want to be a veterinarian, as she cared more about animals then people. She acted like she didn't dress like a princess, having tea parties with her teddy bears, naming them all and making sure they all got turns on her bed. As if she never had a blanket she loved so much that she couldn't let go, despite it being near impossible to cover her body with.

Of course Morena changed, she grew in the same shitty big house she did. The same house that punished them so the more violent earn the control and power. The house that would make sure there was nothing left for them to grab onto when they hear the loud footsteps and yelling. The house that broke all that went inside, they weren't picky. The house that made it clear it wasn't home.

Morena changed just like Nikki did, they were practically the same... and Nikki felt something come back to her that she thought she moved on from. The pain and suffering that came from not being able to take her siblings with her. The promises she made that she broke by closing that door one last time. Even if she could reverse time, she couldn't change the choice. It wasn't like she was well off enough to afford to give them a home. She could of just ended up killing them instead. She was only just 18 when she walked away and kissed that house goodbye.

Morena stared back at Nikki, she wasn't even mad at her for leaving. She knew the reasons, it wasn't possible. She just didn't expect someone older then her to be this unstable. She was hoping she could be better, even a shimmer, especially from the person who gave her the idea of how to cope. This made her worry, the person she used to look up too hadn't changed at all, which was both comforting for her as it was familiar... and lost as not even her big sister has even slightly recovered.

They walked off eventually, those few minutes feeling like hours for the both of them. Morena going back to her up beat attitude, basically stomping and humming all to herself. While Nikki slumps over and slowly starts to walk and stumble again, feeling as if she just left a fight. She then feels her phone vibrate, letting out a very quiet ring. She told it out, it was her husband Tommy messaging about where she was.

She sighed and just typed "I'm on my way dear, I'll arrive in 5 minutes." She knew she wouldn't arrive in 5 minutes, she wasn't even close, but she thought that maybe if she took her time getting home, Tom could notice the time and just pick her up. She couldn't care that Tommy would most definitely drive carelessly, her legs were in so much pain, her brain was filled in agony. She couldn't walk no more.

[bluegiragi]

december night.

early access + nsfw on patreon

[mienar]

the wandering painter, part one

instagram | shop | commission info

[bricreative]

These two will be the death of me

[orcaking]

My body is a collection of all the parts that came before! 🌱🌱🌱

[Image ID: A drawing of a trans masculine person, nude except for underwear. The figure has top surgery scars, and no head, the bottom of a jaw bone with plants growing from it floating above the neck. There are flowers, mushrooms, and stars surrounding the figure, and a bird flying to the left of the canvas. /. End ID]

[star-hoon]

𝐅𝐈𝐂 𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

disclaimer: these are all smut so minors dni.

★ - favorite

MULTIPLE MEMBERS ‧˚₊•┈┈┈┈୨୧┈┈┈┈•‧₊˚⊹

hyung line when you ask them to spit in your mouth by @heejake-hoon

that's right he can't by @jaylaxies

meddle about by @en-dazedafterdark

how they would punish you during sex by @gyusrose

HEESEUNG ‧˚₊•┈┈┈┈୨୧┈┈┈┈•‧₊˚⊹

★ stitch me up by @ja3yun

★ surprise by @karinasbaby

★ the love game by @enha-stars

★ let me take care of you by @enha-stars

★ wanna make a movie? by @luvyeni

★ backseat lovin by @luvyeni

★ heeseung hard thought by @karinasbaby

homecoming by @enha-stars

plushies & headsets by @heetos

pool by @karinasbaby

sleep by @enhaheeseung

4:00 am by @enhaheeseung

SUNGHOON ‧˚₊•┈┈┈┈୨୧┈┈┈┈•‧₊˚⊹

★ mark me yours @alvojake

★ cherry pits by @asahicore

★ sample session by @minhosimthings

★ a plus by @karinasbaby

★ drip, drip, drip by @enha-stars

★ say my name by @yeonzzzn

★ six feet under by @alvojake

★ hoon hard thought by @alvojake

★ hoon hard thought by @karinasbaby

mon amour by @i2sunric

hoon helping you fall asleep by eating you out by @heejake-hoon

riding sunghoon's abs by @simpjaes

i found your blog by @hottestvirgin

ceo sunghoon by @hottestvirgin

picturesque by @ja3yun

prettiest girl by @luvyeni

birthday boy by @luvyeni

JAKE ‧˚₊•┈┈┈┈୨୧┈┈┈┈•‧₊˚⊹

★ off limits by @yeonzzzn

★ consequences by @yeonzzzn

★ two best friends in a room by @hee-pster

3:04 pm by @moonhoures

stress relief by @jongseongsnudes

full attention by @jongseongsnudes

jealousy by @dearjaeyuns

no nut november by @luvyeni

baby dont stop by @mahalkheeta

ETC ‧˚₊•┈┈┈┈୨୧┈┈┈┈•‧₊˚⊹

★ you take your engagement ring off during an argument by @heeliopheelia (a)

[oavailius]

Merry Christmas! feat. Leona 🎄

I know it’s late butttt I wanted to finish. I hope everyone had a good day!

[ Bonuses below the cut! ]

Artist note: i hope I can improve on faces in the 2025. I’m just…. Not too proud of the slow progress. I’m starting to think it’s how I render the face, so I’ll look into that.

[shikisei]

say your goodbyes to this year

[localraccconn]

barry keoghan u lil freak i love u so much

[skrimbloz]

Happy 1 year of tumblrposting to me :D

[sulfurzee]

Something about the Trawlerman having two faces

[mossy-paws]

these fuckass robots that I hate /aff (Ultrakill x PHIGHTING!)

the girls are PHIGHTING! again

[kitamars]

happy (early) new year from the jupiter family <3

[daunart]

my whole life, all anyone's ever wanted was to possess me

[obsob]

it's blanket weather! (a redraw of my first cat drawing!)

[bishblip]

Redrew my Holt Hyde redesign from a year and a half ago