#I hope I did Riz justice.

[starry-slithers]

Here’s a little fanfic snippet because I was shipping Cariad with @rene-hl-trashcan’s baby boy Riz

Ship: Cariad x Riz

warnings: tooth rotting fluff

WELCOME HOME

“Rizy, Rizy, where are you- I’m all sat here waiting for yo-Riz!” Cariad had been swinging her legs childishly on the porch, saying her rhyme in a sing-song voice as she waited for Riz to come home- before she saw his familiar figure coming down the path home. She immediately hopped off the porch and ran up to him, hugging him tightly. He absolutely dwarfed her- him being 6”4 and her being a mere 5”3. “Mmmm, hi there ghost boy!” She said excitedly, tugging at his sleeve to indicate she wanted him to bend down so she could smother him with kisses. The dark haired mans eyes softened at the sight of the sweet girl who was the embodiment of sunshine. He gave her a gentle head pat before bent down with a small chuckle so she could kiss him. Once on his forehead, once on each cheek, once on his nose, his chin, his eyebags and finally his lips. He picked her up like she weighed nothing more than a child and carried her inside.

Once they got inside, she slipped from his arms and helped him take his coat off before she noticed a rip. She ran her finger along the tear and felt something damp. “Riz…” she started, before she noticed the large bleeding gash down his arm. “Ekrizdis Mors! What happened?!” “Cariad Mors, I dunno, some asshole jumped me with a knife, I didn’t think it was a big deal.” He shrugged nonchalantly. Typical Riz. Since he couldn’t feel pain, he often underestimated his injuries. “It is a very big deal, actually!” But Cariad was hogwarts matron so she knew the severity of it. She lead him to the couch and sat him down before getting her wand from the kitchen. She sat on his lap, straddling him, as she took his arm in her hands, murmuring a healing incantation and coaxing some wiggenweld down his throat. “Are these ‘assholes’ still with us?” She asked lightly as she kissed up the scabbing injury. He gave a rare chuckle and rolled his eyes, “of course not.” He started absently playing with her fingers, before taking off his gloves and raising her hand to his lips, trailing sweet kisses along her hand and fingers- starting with her knuckles and trailing down the middle of her fingers, crimson eyes locked on her light green-bordering blue-ones. Cariad was practically swooning, unable to stop her blush. “Ghostie…” she said weakly, before noticing how he payed extra attention to her ring finger and her heart gave a flutter. “What is it, my dear?” He asked without ceasing his assault on her hand. “I love you.” She whispered. His eyes widened a little before softening- they were so hopeless for eachother. Sunshine, and a boy moments from death. He looked so beautiful to her, his pale face illuminated by firelight. His eyes fluttered closed in peace as she pressed her hand to his cheek. Cariad gently caressed it with her thumb. “I love you too…” he murmured back, pressing a kiss to her forehead. Cariad hummed in contentment. She adjusted on his lap and cuddled into him, the moment just peaceful and domestic. She always wore her hair in those little girl pigtails, held together with light green ribbons. Once they’d started dating, Cariad had tied one of her ribbons around his wrist. She was currently tracing the satin around his wrist absently and tenderly. Everything she did for him was tender.

THIS IS ONLY PART 1 DW WE HAVE MORE PLOT BUNNIES

[littlefoxwithbighat]

A reflection on some complicated thoughts about being aroace in webweave form.

[clownjacket]

Okay but what if this is a cosmic Monkey’s Paw situation Kipperlilly is fucking MISERABLE right now. Like, she was a shithead teen that was jealous of Riz for having a dead dad and a ‘tragic backstory’ because it ‘made him a better adventurer and was an unfair advantage’, and then on her first real mission her entire party got killed and coerced into serving an evil rage god, except for her very best friend who stayed dead. And she HATES IT. It’s like one of those old fairytales where a kid doesn’t do their chores and talked back to their parents, so their parents abandon them and the child gets eaten by a demon and somehow that’s ‘justice’, so you better behave kid! I mean, Ankarna IS a corrupted goddess of justice. It just seems funny to me that she’s LIVING her tragic backstory RIGHT NOW after complaining to Jawbone for two years about not having one. And the worst part is, from a CERTAIN PERSPECTIVE, she was a little bit right. Kipperlilly DID only start doing actual adventuring and rouge shit after she was forced to by an evil god who killed her and is currently holding her friend hostage. Like, it didn’t have to be that way. She could have done that stuff at any time. But her current ‘tragic situation’ is what’s currently FORCING her to get off her ass and adventure. Just the most fucked up, disproportional, unfair approximation of cosmic ‘justice’ imaginable.

Anyway this is a theory??? I guess. Just a direction I hope the story goes in/acknowledges. Because it would be funny

[ratgrinders]

hello tumblr user ratgrinders... appreciate the work you do even in these trying times (post onscreen homicide). i think the fact that kipperlilly is like, annoying and reminds people of girls they didnt like in high school ppl miss out on a lot of interesting stuff going on w her!

like, the "power hungry teen girl who is just evil and tbk kill her" thing has already been done in fhfy with penelope, & its much more interesting to think about how & why the ratgrinders are doing all this suspicious stuff tbk are noticing-- like the fact that they have been very cagey about showing their combat abilities, the weird stuff going on with various deities, and even kipperlilly's stolen therapy files (lol) are very intriguing!! and imo writing that off as assuming they'll be straightforward, incompetent villians (popular assumption due to their lack of friendship, even though it's famously the weakest magic) is far less interesting. like... they got into this situation for a reason and got involved w all this stuff somehow, & i don't think all of this would happen if they were a normal adv party, even a shitty one. how did they get here! why!! thx

thank you so much, its getting hard out here but nothing can stop the rat grinders stan grind!!!!! (<- is coping. im coping)

yeah but fr, kipperlily is FASCINATING to me. i truly believe that she thinks everything she does is justified in service of her larger goal, whatever that may be. yeah, stone cold murder really isn't the fairest thing you can do to your academic rivals, but writing all of that off as "oh she's just always been a jealous hypocrite who never believed in what she was spouting" i think is an inaccurate interpretation of her own motivations. she clearly believes in something.

cuz the thing is, we're still not really sure was kipperlily wants? ("egg on my face for wanting something"). sure, she's trying to run for student body president, but what exact rules is she hoping to implement, and how does that relate to trying to resurrect a rage god? plus, grix attacked ruben because he/his ritual were a direct threat to the existence of the school, which seems counter productive if you're trying to become president of it.

and what cause would kipperlily specifically have to be tied up with a rage god anyway? there's nothing that clearly on the surface ties a little type A halfling rogue to a fiendish god of rage and conquest, hell some of the other members in her party seem like on the surface they would have a closer tie to it (like both of their now dead clerics, mary ann who literally harnesses rage, ruben who is full of teen angst). kipperlily's apparently been filled with rage since freshman year, but why? (is she like riz, who spent his whole life infected with an aspect of the nightmare king and literally grew up with this seed of doubt inside him? did something similar happen to kipperlily?)

ankarna is the goddess of justice and the conviction to act when they see something unfair. no matter what, i think kipperlily truly believes that she's witnessed something unfair. and it feels significant to mention that this last murder is an escalation on the rat grinders' part. the other people who have ended up dead around them (lucy, yolanda, the original hosts of frosty faire) all seemed to have died indirectly as a result of the rage crystals and the uncontrollable rage it inspires. this is the first time we're seen stone cold premeditated murder, done with simply a blade and betrayal.

honestly, this transition seems to mirror what ankarna herself went through, starting off as the goddess of conviction and justice but slowly transitioning to one of conquest and war. brennan said something about ankarna, "yeah its nice to have someone like that on your side who will stand up for you, but you better hope that person is always right". i think what we're seeing now is someone with that same conviction, but with a misguided cause.

kipperlily's crossed a line now and i wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't end up redeemed by the end of the season, but i'm still interested in how she and her party were motivated to do this in the first place, because like you said i don't think a normal adventuring party would've ended up here. it takes a lot to transition to multiple murders!

[unsleepingtales]

Finale Time. I have food, I have a drink, let’s do this.

Three whole hours <3

Somehow I forgot about the outfits.

Former emo kid Murph is so dear to me

Lipstick by Rick Perry!

$217 at hot topic would not buy six outfits I hate to break it to you.

They all look great, but. Zac looks really good.

Mazey’s mini looks so cool!

Like some kind of fucked up pokemon

Naur

That was spinning for so long oh my god

18 D10????

Holy shit!!!

You’re saying that the shatter stars were parasitically possessing the rat grinders. That’s what you’re telling me right now. PLEASE bad kids hear and process what that means. Please.

Noooo Mazey

Oop

You’re telling me Buddy Dawn isn’t absurdly charismatic? Wild.

Fuck!

FUCK YOU MAN

Oh my god

I’m gonna throw up

Oh my fucking god if Gorgug perma dies I’m gonna. Be upset.

Excuse me?? Is that what he says??

He’s lying girl!!!

OOOOOHHH

Oh god

:( bye kipperlilly

Devastating!

No.

FUCK.

Oh god the hat.

I love the skeleton hand over Siobhan’s pink glove I think that’s fun

FUCK the failed death saves are so bad

God what an incredible turn from Adaine

Someone please incorporate Jace calling Porter ‘Boss’ into their Starbreaker fic

Did not like that sound at the start of Jace’s turn

It really is circus hours you’re so right Ally

Cool hand :)

(Brennan mimics Bigby’s Hand jiggling impotently) god

THANK GOD

I will admit that Zac’s casual ‘well that’s fun because I rolled a 33’ was hot. It was.

Awww the song from the first episode <3

That was a sick move.

I’m so stressed guys

Don’t do this to me don’t do this to me actually I don’t care :(

Yeah making the minis kiss is d&d. That’s what d&d is about

ITS SQUEEM WITH A STEEL CHAIR SIX CORTADOS

And Balthazar!

Mass healing word cast via cortados 😭😭

Awww Fabian’s version of German Shepherd mode!

Kisses and a girlfriend!!

It’s great that you’re wearing a black lip while you’re doing this Lou. It’s great

Oh you’re fucking kidding me

Oh christ

Oh my god

This is what a lot of dms look like yeah

I do love that apparently the big difference is really that K2 lives in a world dmed by Zac Oyama

HER PARENTS GOT DIVORCED?????????

I’m gonna lose it

I really hope Brennan gets to take a minute

Cotton candy lung?????

(Murph cackling in slo mo)

Some god is having so much fun with Brennan right now

Oh my god

OH MY GOD????

K2 is on earth right now. In England. In Austin. Somewhere.

Oh that’s so upsetting. Brennan is really going through it.

THATS HER VAPE

K2 is granted true life. K2 is now a human cleric who has a memory of Kristen’s life but in England.

Just mirrors that anatomy just in a British way.

I’m gonna lose my goddamn mind.

THANK YOU ADAINE <3 Kristen already has sisters!!

Hi Cassandra! Are you just. Back now?

AND THEN SHE BOWS

MLADY

Somehow I don’t think it was Porter saying ‘enough’

We never followed up with them

Oh noooooo

I do not appreciate the paladin hate! Just because this paladin was evil does not mean that the entire class is bad! Fig is also a paladin!

God I’m stressed and there’s still an hour and a half left

Sandra Lynn!! Jawbone!! Lydia!! Ragh!!

YOU DO PLUR WITH BALTHAZAR?????

AGENT CLARK????????

One: why does he count as an ally Two: this really is so unhinged at this point

Fuck

She has faith in her friends and maybe that’s enough <3

Oh that’s so smart. Siobhan Thompson you’re so incredibly smart.

New Gorgug ability!!!

Thank you for not letting k2 get this one

That’s not justice

Love a (potentially unintentional) callback to Fig pretending to be a bouncer in freshman year

God Ankarna is so beautiful

I really love all the mini shots

Oh Emily found her camera for that one

Oh god okay we actually get some emotions thank you

My potential is mine. And I can do with it what I want to do with it.

Goddammit Ally Beardsley. You’re really good at this.

Ohhh god Gorgug and Kristen are the first to find each other. Hold on that’s gotta be its own post.

You don’t wanna kill your mom and get your inheritance though?

Riz Gukgak you kill me dead. Riz Gukgak I can’t.

Oh god if they cry I’m gonna cry

Emily Axford the person you are.

Friends can hurt each other so deeply and it’s so painful.

Please. Let him understand. Let her help him understand.

Oh my god. Maybe this is the one that gets me. The release from parental expectation.

Oh god okay thank you Cassandra’s back that was what I needed.

Now go away. Literally forever.

You crack a cortado???

The purple hair really brings out Beardsley’s eyes. I’m listening to them and what they’re saying and it’s beautiful but also their eyes are lovely.

Rebellion without hope for a dawn is cynical

God they’re mirroring the painting.

They’re married! They’re back together and they’re going to rest

Is SQUEEM Ankarna’s familiar 😭

Wait so who are you bringing back

Arthur Aguefort driving a station wagon

AYDA!!!!!

Well dang.

That’s some narc shit 💀💀

President Applebees.

Lucy’s back? Lucy’s back!!!

Okay so they are bringing the rat grinders back. Okay.

Zac Oyama….. hiiii

Hey WHAT.

WHAT

I LIKE TO SIT DOWN?????? THAT’S THE MOVE??????

What are you Talking about

The world does not rest on what college you go to. It just doesn’t.

Bitchy sisters my beloveds <3

Uncle Ray!!!!!!!! I love this I love this for him

OOF

Why is Telemaine there

CATHILDA ART!!!!!!

Yesssssss

The odds are quite literally one in one hundred Brennan.

They’re comedians!!!! They’re so good at comedy!

Josh???

The child???

Josh get ready for warrrrr Josh

Awwww yayyyy

Yesss get Riz student gov on his resume!!

Oh Trackerbees. They know each other better than most people and they have love for each other.

Nooooo Kristennnnn

Okay that was an unreasonable expectation

I will not understand this for years 😭😭

Hmm. Feeling weird about Trackerbees but what else is new.

Gorgug made Fig an effects pedal. Oh god.

Why are you giving her THAT BENCH

Ooooh Gorgug teaching would be fun

Hey WHAT

Tip top! [and he turns into birds]

Oh Fig and Sandra Lynn. Oh god.

Aguefort never holds podcasts against anyone

Oh boy oh boy!

KALINA!!!!!

What a show. What a time. It’s been an honor to spend the past five months with everybody here on d20 tumblr, and I’ll see you at Basrar’s 💜💜

[the-greatest-magic-of-all]

I hope you don't mind me adding on, but I love the idea of temporary class swaps so much.

Rage isn't magic, but it still taps into a profound internal resource that manifests and fits the body and soul of the person raging. So, if a non-barbarian were suddenly able to Rage, it'd be a lot more unstable but also unique.

At the sight of Demon Prince trying to lay waste to her hometown and loved ones, Fig feels it build up before it hits. And having been around Gorgug and other Raging people long enough and heard how they've said it feels to know it's coming. A little giddy, she wants to enjoy the ride. So she pulls out her bass and starts shredding like she did when she first got it after her parents' divorce. Hard and loud but way more focused. The sound of her riffs fills her ears until it's all she can hear, even when her fingers move to wield her bass against a horde of invading Demons. Her own personal kickass soundtrack as she can't help but pour Divine Smites into every cleave of her bass. Crazier yet, thanks to her station as the Archdevil of Rebellion, she has a certain kind of Wild Magic that surges and allows her to teleport 30ft. at a time. Figerouth the Infaethable's own brand of chaotic justice manifesting in ways that will haunt the nightmares of this Demon Prince and his army for centuries to come.

Face to face with Arianwen once more, surrounded by conjured minions, and watching her cast Power Word: Pain on Aelwen, Adaine Rages. As a fellow Intelligence caster, she's spent quite a few nights as a sounding board for Gorgug’s Barbificer work. So she has a pretty good idea of how to hold concentration on a spell while Raging works. In the seconds, as it overcomes her, Adaine tweaks the components of her Furious Fist to make it a concentration spell and casts it at her highest spell slot. But something else also happens.

Stray remnants from Jawbone's bite all those years ago latch onto the momentum of her Rage. Adaine doesn't feel the changes, too in the thick of it. But Arianwen sees it. The nails on Adaine’s glowing hands sharpen and lengthen into claws. Tawny hair grows on her arms and ears. Her canine teeth grow more pronounced and lethally sharp. And her eyes. The things Adaine got from her, once Elven and bright blue, turned molten gold and wolf-like. Unfortunately, Arianwen will never live long enough to know that at this moment, those golden eyes, those righteously furious eyes, are her father's.

Fabian was this close to taking a Rage Token during Junior Year, and I think that stress is what gets him Raging. Stress stemming from not being clever enough, not good enough, to keep himself and those he loves safe. Chungledown Bim, the bastard, had cast Chains of Carceri and paralyzed Fig with arcane chains around her neck and hands, sent Gorgug hurling through Hell, had Upchungle attacking Kristen as she protected Adaine’s unconscious form, and just sent an Eldritch Blast into Riz’s chest, throwing him against a pillar with a horrible crack. And it's in those split moments, when the people he loves most are being hurt by this fucking creepy-ass Gnome that decided that he wasn't enough of a pirate, a Seacaster, and a man, Fabian locks in and Rages.

By the time he uses his Battlemaster ability to glean that Chungledown isn't currently resistant to fire, Fabian’s chest is glowing. By the time he's broken into a dead sprint toward his nemesis, flames are pouring from his nose, mouth, and empty eye socket. By the time he's within striking distance, the mote of fire he swallowed back in that Smithy has, in turn, completely engulfed him in flames. By the time Fig pulls him away, there's nothing left of Chungledown Bim except for scorched bones and clothes.

It would take a lot for Kristen to work herself up into a true Rage. Off the top of her head, she couldn’t tell you what would make her that angry. Until she gets a desperate, tearful call from Bucky about their parents finding out that he worships Cassandra. They've packed up him, Bricker, and Cork and are heading to a Harvest Men compound in High Court. He doesn’t know for how long, and he's too scared to ask. The following hours are a blur as she and the rest of the Bad Kids race to figure out where in High Court her brothers could possibly be.

There's a crystal clear moment as the Bad Kids & co rush the compound when she finds a bruised Bucky huddled with Bricker and Cork before she blacks out. It's only after, when recounted by a hyped-up Fig, that Kristen learns that she made sure her brothers were safe where they were before coming back onto the battlefield and wreaking shop. Swinging her staff and any and every Harvest Men she could find. And with every hit, Divine Smites cracks ring out as Cassandra's and Ankarna's Divine Fury surge through her. Fuck with her all you want. Reject her. Exile her. She couldn't give two fucks. But Never. Touch. Her. Little. Brothers.

Riz is scared of his Rage. Scared of what it might mean for him as a Goblin to fully let something as wild and savage as Rage take him over. What would people think if they saw him like that? Will they be shocked? Disgusted? Or worse, smug. Thinking that the frenzied Rage is all he is and ever will be. So, in the heat of battle, he fights it. Tries as hard as he can to push the Rage down, shove it into a box, lock it and throw away the key. But when Sklonda, fighting alongside them again after getting swept up in their latest "Who's trying to take over the World this time" mystery, takes a nasty hit from a racist ass cultist that downs her, Riz can feel it rising. It's exhilarating. It's terrifying. He can't, but his mom-

As the Rage reaches a fever pitch and he visibly shakes from the effort of holding it back, he feels a cool hand on his shoulder and then Pok’s voice. Riz risks opening an eye to find a spectral version of his father standing next to him. He looks soft and concerned about why he was summoned, but when he sees Sklonda, Riz sees a face he's never seen his father make. Ears pinned back, fangs bared, eyes slitted - pure rage. Knowing why he's here, Pok barks out a form-up command in Goblin and before Riz’s eyes, ghostly visions of his long-dead family members appear, ready and raring for a righteous fight. Including Riz’s grandfather, a gruff and stern-looking man, who gets a hand on Riz’s neck before bumping foreheads and telling him in a deep voice with a thick back-home accent that he should never be scared of everything he's capable of. Those fangs, claws, and viscousness kept their horde alive long enough to give him a life of endless possibilities. Only hide them so that they won't see them coming.

Filled with a sense of pride and (weirdly) calm, Riz finally lets the Rage overtake him as he turns, casts Haste on himself, and lets out a Goblin Battlecry before surging across the battlefield. His spectral ancestors in tow. One Goblin may not be scary, but a whole horde of them descending on you? Tearing you apart for daring to hurt one of their own? Well, now that's a sight that will haunt you well into your afterlife.

If they could rage, what would each of the bad kids do? Riz and Adaine are presumably biting and punching, but what about the others? And what would make them most likely to go into a rage in the first place?

Not really sure about what would set most of the kids off into a rage but hurting his Mom would probably make Riz snap. He's abandoning weapons and just going straight for the jugular with teeth and claws.

Adaine is for sure going to punch, the furious fist is going to be the INCREDIBLY furious fist.

Fabian doesnt have to pivot far from fighter to barbarian, he might just go unarmed and start punching as well.

Kristen would hit things with her staff, i bet she has a mean golf swing with that thing.

Fig already attended barbarian classes, she knows what she's doing. She's going to hit things with her bass.

[imagines-for-the-unpopular]

Bad Morning

Pairing: Michael ‘Riz’ Ariza x f!Reader

Warnings: none

Request: this one is for @everyhowlmarksthedead​, I love you so much!!

Prompt: 29. I overall hate the human race, but you aren’t too horrible; bearable, at least. 

Word count: 461

A/N: This is my first time writing for Riz so I hope I did him justice and didn’t turn out too OCC. Page breaker at the end made by @solari-writes-things​.  Gif is mine.

The sun peaked through the curtains and reached your eyes, stirring you from your sleep. With an annoyed grunt you tried to pull your blanket over your head, but an arm that was sneaked around waist, halted you in your movement. You didn’t know when Riz got home last night, but you were glad now he was here beside you.

You turned in his direction and scouted closer to him to buried your face in his chest as an escape from the rays of the sun. You must have awake Riz with your antics, because you could hear his soft chuckle as you finally found your place again.

“What is it you find so funny?” you asked, still annoyed that your peaceful sleep was disturbed.

“Nothing, mi amor, nothing” he answered still amused at your behavior. You didn’t see him, but you knew he was grinning at you.

“You better wipe that grin off of your face or I will do it for you” you mumbled against his chest. You were not a morning person and he knew that well.

“Okay, okay, I am all serious now” he tried to convince you, but he failed miserably. You reluctantly pulled back to look at him disapprovingly.

“Michael Ariza I can’t believe you just lied to me” you chided him with as much disappointment in your voice as you could muster at this early hour. Riz couldn’t hold back a laugh at your not so convincing evil stare.

“Sorry, sorry” he chuckled again, “but we have to leave soon…” he continued on a more serious note, but you didn’t let him finish.

“No, no, no, I am not going. I hate people. I am staying here in bed.” you exaggerated, leaning back on his chest.

“Every people? Even me?” he pouted, nudging your side.

“Eh, I overall hate the human race, but you aren’t too horrible; bearable, at least.” you answered, this time unable to hold back your smile. You looked up at him a twinkle in your eyes. “You know what? I quite like you.”

“You just like me?” he asked mockingly.

“Hm..” you contemplated “One could also call it love”

“Yeah?” he asked, while gently cupping your face. You giggled like a schoolgirl and leaned closer, your lips only a breath away.

“Yeah” as you breathed your answer, you closed the distance. Your hand got tangled in his hair as you deepened the kiss, only breaking it for air.

“Riz?” you whispered againt his lips.

“Hm?” he hummed.

“I love you”

“I love you too, y/n” he whispered and his mouth was back on yours again.

As he flipped you over and hovered above you, you knew that your bad mood was long forgotten and that you won’t leave this bed for a long while.

Tag list: @everyhowlmarksthedead​, @moonsofangel​

[stanharu]

beastars episode 20 thoughts!

lots of mixed feelings about this one

this week's ep covers chapters 68, 70, 79, and 80. overall, it was fun to watch, and i enjoyed seeing some of my fave non-legosi and louis focused moments of this arc animated, but adaptation-wise i feel like this was one of the weaker episodes of this season.

im glad we got to see the side story about sheila and peach animated. i was really afraid it would get cut. i really enjoyed the shots of the wider world of beastars. though i do wanna mention that coming off of last week's ep, which was quite dark and explored how fucked up riz is, this week's ep starting with such a lighthearted story feels a lil offputting. the tones don't really match and im sure for bingewatchers it'll be really strange.

girls❤️

moving on, we finally get to see legosi's training! i really enjoyed this scene. gouhin unceremoniously throwing legosi off the balcony was really funny sjlkdjflgkdjf

next!!! the junoharu chapter!!! animated at last!!! this scene made me so happy. haru is so cute i took a million screenshots of her. though i will say it's been a common issue in this season that there are many small moments in the manga that just do not seem to have the same impact in the anime.

this scene would be another example of that, imo. i think it could've been played up a lil more

lastly, louis and the shishigumi visit the hyperdrug business. sadly, i was a bit disappointed with how the anime handled this scene. it felt like it was over too soon. i think there's similar issues with this scene as the salad scene a few weeks ago. in the manga we can see that louis feels a range of emotions at ibuki being considerate of him, but in the anime louis just seems kinda mad/annoyed by it.

i just feel like this moment did not hit as hard emotionally in the anime as it does in the manga. which makes me real sad bc i love this scene a lot. i wish the anime lingered a lil longer in this scene and played it up some more. also look at louis' baby hand compared to ibuki's dflsjdkljf

wow 😳

i think ibuki & louis' moment on the balcony did a lil better tho. also i rly like this shot

lastly... i want to express some concerns ive had that've been growing as the anime as progressed. as manga readers will know, there are a couple of key scenes between legosi and louis that have not happened in the anime yet. specifically chapters 66 and 75/76. i have a feeling these moments are gonna be squished together in the anime but the fact that both of these scenes are coming way later in the story than when they did in the manga worries me about how the anime may handle them, we're already running into some pacing issues. like, i honestly wouldnt have minded if the sheila and peach vignette got cut if it meant there'd be more time to do the legosi and/or louis focused moments right.

ive been marking which chapters the anime covers in each episode, and this week's episode pulls from chapters from 3 different volumes.

it's just a lil wild to me. and on the other side i've marked the giant chunk of volume 9 that's been skipped over for the past few weeks.

thats's like... half the volume.

not to mention that based on the previews for next week's ep it seems like the story is still marching steadily thru volume 10, chapters 75/76 whomst? also jpn fans have been speculating about an anime original scene between louis and ibuki based on one of the pics from the preview. which, given the pacing issues that've already been pointed out, worries me more about the stuff that's been skipped atm and the finale sjdflksjldkjf

idk, i may be thinking too much about all this and it'll work out somehow. im trying to hold out hope that studio orange will still be able to do these scenes justice, but we'll just have to wait and see.

[justa-starrynite]

like me better (Coco Cruz)

A/N: Good afternoon everyone! This is Bea! I’m back with another installment for our fall series! This one is for Coco! I’ve never written for Coco, so I hope I did him some justice!

Megan and I would like to thank you for all the love you’ve been giving us! We truly appreciate it and we love giving you all some content to read. 

We love you all!

Masterlist

Word count: 1654

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CREDITS TO THE ORIGINAL GIF MAKER!

Johnny Coco Cruz never thought he deserved anything. 

At a young age, he wasn’t exactly nurtured by his mother. The earliest memory he had of his mother was when he would watch men come in and out of their apartment, his sisters trying to shield him away from her work. 

His eldest siblings Elma and Selena, they were decent. 

But as soon as they had the opportunity to leave Celia’s home, they left.

At an early age, he recalled that he never called Celia mom, at least not when he spoke of her with his friends. He would rarely refer to her as his mother. But till he was eighteen, he called her mother.

Till he got in the Marines and told her she could fuck herself.

He had an ounce of respect for her, just due to the fact she birthed him, but otherwise, Coco stopped caring about his mother way before than he could remember.

Due to his tumultuous relationship with Celia, he chose to not be a part of his kids life, Letty and his son, Leo. He wanted Letty to be given up for adoption as her mother was no better than him, but Celia adopted her at her faux reasoning of getting a second chance as a mother. 

Coco never believed that and he was correct.

It was for welfare.

He finally found his place in the Marines, the discipline and skills he learned didn’t prepare him for life outside of the military, but it prepared him to contribute to his family.

The Mayans MC.

A place where people who didn’t belong anywhere fit. 

A place where Coco was able to find a family he never knew he needed.

Johnny Coco Cruz never thought he deserved anything.

Not until he met you.

You were a tattoo artist for one of the shops the club frequents. It was rare for you to do a piece for any of the members since you were in high demand and the shop owner, your father, was one of the few people the MC feared.

A gentle man that would make no hesitation to kill for you.

Your father had numerous stories going around about him, but the most prominent seemed to be him being a former gang leader who reformed.

Your father was never part of a gang, he was a firefighter once upon a time and now, he was a tattoo shop owner.

When Coco first laid his eyes upon you, you were leaving the shop as he and Riz waited for one of your co-workers to finish a piece on Creeper. 

You turned towards them, your glasses slightly slipping down the bridge of your nose. A small smile to greet your father’s favorite customers appeared on your face, your eyes lingering at Coco before walking out.

And that was the start.

Coco never tried to talk to you, you were too pure for him.

Too good.

So kept his distance because nothing ever goes well for him and he was almost certain that nothing would ever happen with you.

But then you worked on a piece for him and his life, well his self-hatred due to past trauma began to change.

“Damn, so you punched him on the face?” Coco chuckled, trying to contain his laughter since he didn’t want to ruin the piece you were doing on him.

“Listen, he was messing with my baby sister, of course I did. Let’s be honest he fared better with me cause my dad would have killed him.” You ran the needle along Coco’s skin, admiring the previous work he had done.

“Damn mami, remind me never to mess with you.” Coco smirked.

“I don’t think you’ll need a reminder, but I got you Coco Cruz.”

From there, your relationship evolved. You two started off as friends and in six months, Coco won you over, which wasn’t hard since you had a crush on Coco since he stepped foot inside your father’s shop. You were shy and it’s not like they were exactly approachable.

But when you got to know these men better, you realized they were definitely hardened men who could kill people in a bat of an eye, but, they were also kind hearted men.

There was hardly any black and white in the world.

So many grey areas were what was had instead.

You and Coco have been together for four years now and as much as Coco didn’t think it would last, your relationship would surprise him instead.

Coco was never a big fan of himself.

He thought he was worthless, a scum and he was making up for past grievances by keeping to himself and not ruining others’ lives, like his children.

But you showed him that he was more than that.

Traditions he used to scoff at were now becoming things he looked forward to.

New year’s celebration.

Christmas celebration

Thanksgiving celebration

And Halloween.

You absolutely loved fall and as soon as it was October, you were decorating the house you two shared. 

This was the second year in a row that you were decorating the house and if Coco was honest, he looked forward for the rest of the years you would be doing this.

He realized early he wasn’t willing to let you go. He was in love with you and you made him better.

Even if you forced him to drink a pumpkin spice latte.

Currently, you, Letty and Coco were at the pumpkin patch, looking for three pumpkins that you three could carve together.

Another thing Coco appreciated was how you accepted every aspect of his life. The club was going to be hard, at least he thought so, but you were part of this band of misfits before you two even dated.

But then Letty came and he became lost.

He couldn’t ruin her life.

But then your words brought him down.

“I know you feel that you’re a terrible man, one who ruins anyone’s life when you touch them, but that’s not true. You made my life better. The best thing about life is that everyone gets a second chance, this is it for you and Letty, take it.”

He took your advice and he was incredibly glad he did so. 

You gave him the strength to push the doubts away and give Letty the life she never had with Celia. You and Letty immediately got along and ever since then, you three were a little happy family.

Coco watched as you and Letty took your time picking the pumpkins. He never understood what exactly you were looking for, but that victorious smile on your face always made the question fade away.

“Coco, are you just going to stand there or are you at least going to pretend and help us pick?” You teased your fiancé as you playfully narrowed your eyes at him.

Coco chuckled. “For what? You two got it handled.”

“Your input would be nice.” You pouted.

“Okay mami, I got it.”

You three picked your pumpkins and just as you were all going to go home, Bishop called. Coco had taken his bike, meeting you after his shift at the yard.

“I’m sorry reina,” Coco frowned.

“It’s okay, I get it. We can do it later.” You offered him a smile, understanding the importance of the club. “Letty and I can go shopping for Halloween costumes.”

Coco took his wallet out to give you some cash, but you shook your head. 

“Don't be silly, I got it.” You pressed your lips on Coco’s and hugged him. “Be careful.”

Letty hugged him as well. He got on his bike, glancing at his mirror every once in a while till you both were out of his range.

Coco never cared about losing his life when going to do something for the club, but now, he had something to live for.

Coco came home later that night with Letty asleep and you sketching on the couch. He saw the relief come over your face and he had to smile at that.

“Hello mi amor.” He dropped a kiss on your lips.

“Hey baby, everything okay?” You questioned.

“Yes, just usual bullshit.” The rebels were ambitious and had a good cause, but at times, Coco questioned just how great the cause was. 

You nodded, continuing to sketch, feeling at ease with Coco home. 

Coco watched you, the sense of calmness that he felt whenever he was with you was something he craved for as long as he’s known you. He always waited for the rug under his feet to be pulled, knowing you wouldn’t stay with him for much longer, but for some reason, you’ve stayed.

And with how much he loves you, he would never want you to walk away.

“I love you.” Coco blurted out of nowhere.

The way your eye softened made his heart skip a beat, the blush on your cheeks further making his heart rate race.

“I love you too. Everything okay?” You closed your sketchbook then, placing it on the coffee table. You sat on his lap, his arms wrapping around you.

“Yes, everything is good baby.” Coco never liked himself too much. Due to the verbal abuse from Celia, his self esteem wasn’t the best even though he’s been working on it. He craved the assurance that he was enough, that he was good enough. 

He never had a true family either.

But it was changing with you.

He became a part of your family. You had him wanting something more in life. You gave him the strength to be there for Letty. 

“Just realized something.”

You raised an eyebrow, running your fingers through his hair. “And what’s that?”

“I like me better when I’m with you.” 

Johnny Coco Cruz never thought he deserved anything.

He definitely didn’t like himself much.

But being with you, growing with you, he found himself liking himself better.

[certainwoman]

films i watched this month (and my short tumblr friendly reviews)

sound of metal (2020) 5/10 the acting was good, riz is fantastic but the film overall felt a tad dry. excited to see riz in more films and tv series though!

lynn + lucy (2019) 4/10 absolutely tragic yet felt average in every other aspect. the hair cutting scene gave me a panic attack. besides that, made me feel empty. disappointing. 

Kajillionaire (2020) 6/10 did not gaybait me after all. evan rachel wood absolutely dominated the film in a kind of uncharacteristic role for her. i enjoyed how the “romance” was very much  slow-burn. would like to see a sequel television series depicting the adventures of our final duo. 

The Trial of the Chicago 7 (2020) - 2/10 absolute shit but giving it a higher rating solely for the possibility it will make people want to perhaps research the chicago 7 (trying to be optimistic)

Promising Young Woman (2020) 1/10 left me feeling angry. i remember being intrigued at the beginning of the film (and slightly cautious due to the possibly upsetting themes). the way the story was handled was absolutely spineless, disempowering and confusing might i say. the ending was particularly infuriating with the police showing up to tie the loose ends and bring justice (after the whole film pretty much telling us how ineffective the judicial system and the police are about sexual assault and violence towards women). and the texts!!! the fucking texts! 

The Straight Story (1999) 8/10 It was actually my first time watching this! Very heartwarming. One film that truly made me feel hope in the midst of my chaotic life this month. People frequently discuss the traumatic and violent elements of Lynch’s work (and i was more interested in that when writing about Lynch) but his kindness shines through at times (twin peaks has it all) 

Stellet licht (2007) 8/10 Beautiful cinematography, barely any dialogue in the film, affective acting. Loved the ending. Religious themes are some of my favourite in cinema (grew up in a culturally catholic country, am agnostic but highly interested in researching particularly christian fundamentalism) 

The Ground Beneath My Feet (2019) - 7/10 features lgbt themes (a lesbian couple for those who are interested), left me confused by its ending doubting some of its reality but maybe that was the point? 

The Rider (2018) - 8/10 <3 

Stella Dallas (1937) - 7/10 barbara stanywyck! class issues! “selfless” tragic parenting that makes you want to cry once you are finished with the film. i read some critiques which called stella herself an unsympathetic character and that is very far from the truth. in fact barbara plays her in a very complex way showing her humanity and growth all the way through. just reminds u how wonderful of an actress barbara stanwyck was (as well as a secret crush of mine but she was a republican anti-communist so let’s pretend i didnt say that)

Losing Ground (1984) - 8/10 the film I would probably recommend the most out of everything I have seen. On the short side, historically important, beautiful, pioneer work of feminist black cinema. I wish I wasn’t the chaotic version of Sara (but she wants to experience more ecstasy while I want the calmness she has while being in the similar field I want to be in) 

Sitcom (1999) - 8/10 my personal favourite probably. provocative, somewhat shocking if you are not used to french cinema antics but funny, beautiful and it has marina de van (what can i say, im a bisexual) 

[justahopelessssromantic]

Without You

Hi love, me again. Any chance you'd be up for writing an imagine with Angel's girl getting kidnapped and him trying to get her back? Literally obsessed with you're writing and curious to see how you'd put a spin on that :) if not no worries!! I don't want to be wicked annoying lol - but either way thank you! @sickofbitches

A/N: Thank you so so much! ❤️ I love this request, so much so that I may have gotten a little carried away with it 😂. I felt I couldn’t do it justice in just one part so it’s gonna be a little series with a total of three parts! Thank you again and I really hope you enjoy! 💕

*gif not mine*

Warnings: Angst, violence and slight animal abuse

It was a regular everyday kind of day, or mostly so. You had just pulled up in front of your house, trunk filled with groceries. The AC was blasting as your music thumped through the speakers. You sat in your car jamming to your favorite song waiting for it to be over before you would finally get out like you would always do. Turning the ignition off you stepped out of the car swinging your bag across your shoulder. Coming around to the back you popped the trunk open.

Your phone buzzed from inside your pocket distracting you momentarily.

Can’t wait to see you tonight, mi dulce. We’ve got a lot of missed nights to make up for ;)

You smiled to yourself biting your lip. You would never get tired of the big flirt you had fallen in love with. Angel had been gone on a run for six nights now and tonight he would finally get back home. Since that was the case you knew you’d have to make a grocery run hence the loaded trunk. Angel could eat more food than anyone you knew and still somehow maintain his amazing physique. You weren’t complaining, just a little jealous by how effortless it seemed for him.

You typed out your quick response before reaching in for the bags.

Grabbing half of the bags from the back you turned towards your house to be greeted by your baby Rosco through the tall chain link fence, wagging his tail rapidly as he jumped around ecstatic to have you back home again. You smiled wide just as excited as him. “Hey baby,” you cooed, “Mama missed you too!”

On the way to the front gate your phone slipped from your grasp as you had foolishly been holding it with the groceries. It fell to the ground with a loud thud and you were almost certain the damn thing’s screen would be cracked.

Setting the bags in your left hand to the ground you bent over picking it up and dusting it off on your shirt. You cursed to yourself examining the damage. The last thing you needed right now was to have to get a new phone.

The hair on the back of your neck raised as soon as you heard it. Rosco had gone from his happy yips to a full blown snarl. You looked at him, his lip was curled back as he growled and started barking viciously, the drool spilling from his mouth.

You tried to mentally prepare yourself for what was to come next but everything happened so fast there was no way you could have. Before you could turn around strong arms grabbed you from behind causing the groceries to fall to the cement, the eggs cracking on impact. You tried to wrench yourself free, kicking hoping to hit anything. You screamed but it was no use. The man muffled your cries with his large hand as he pulled you back dragging you towards the trunk of your car.

Rosco’s barking and snarling never ceased. He jumped and clawed at the fence trying to get free but it was no use. There was nothing he or anyone could do to save you.

You bit down hard on the man’s hand tasting the blood in your mouth as you did so, the taste alone was enough to make your stomach queasy.

“Bitch!” He yelled pulling back his hand and shoving you forward. You fell fast just barely catching yourself with your hands. You hissed, the rough ground scraping up your palms with a stinging pain. You tried to use this to your advantage, tried to get on your feet and get to your yard. If you could only just get to the gate.

But before you could get far your purse was being yanked off you and tossed to the side, the contents scattering everywhere. Next you were being pulled up by the back of the neck before there was a blinding pain in the back of your head. You tried to stay conscious, fought it as best as you could.

The last things you can remember hearing was another man calling out, “Shut that dog up!” followed by the viscous noises of Rosco, the shouting of a man, and then the sickening sound of your precious boy crying out.

Angel zipped up his fly looking at his cell as he made his way back to his bike. He smirked looking at the message you had sent back in return to his.

Better hurry or I’ll just have to get started without you.

Fuck you knew just how to get to him, the vulgar images immediately entering his mind. Adjusting himself he swung his leg over his bike and pulled his helmet on.

“What the fuck are you grinning about?” EZ asked his brother with a smug look. He figured it must have been you, it always was. The two of you were inseparable, it was actually endearing. EZ was thankful his brother had found you while he was locked up. You made him happy and no one deserved that more than Angel.

“None of your fucking business.” Angel shot back smiling just the same. “Now come on I wanna get the fuck out of here. I’ve got my girl to get back to.” Starting up his bike he peeled out of the lot following the rest of his club.

It was a long, tiring ride but having you to come home to made it all worth it. However there was one last thing needed of him before he could be back in your arms and you his.

He shot you another quick message explaining how he was going to be late but he’d be there as soon as he could before tossing his phone into the basket and heading into Templo.

Angel sat at the table looking at Bishop, his mouth was moving but he couldn’t hear anything. He tried to be attentive, he really did but it was just so damn difficult when he kept thinking of your message earlier and those delicate little fingers of yours slipping down your body disappearing between your thighs.

He tapped his foot repeatedly, anxiously awaiting for the gavel to go down and grant him his freedom. By the time it did he practically shot up from his seat and headed for the door.

“Hey Angel!” Bishop called out with a smirk, “Where’s the fire?”

“In his fucking pants,” Taza teased causing the rest of the men to burst out laughing.

They all knew that the minute he got home from a run his first priority was getting home to you and getting pussy drunk as they called it. He did the same thing every time and you’d have a hell of a time getting him to leave the house for anything the next few days after.

Angel turned around shaking his head chuckling, “You’re all just jealous I have someone to go home to and you’re all just stuck with your fucking hands.” He shot back, mimicking jerking off before flipping them the bird. “Now if you’ll all excuse me I have a lot of missed time to make up for, fuckers.”

With that he left the men still chuckling behind him and scooped his phone out of the basket with a smirk on his face. He immediately checked for messages and found none. That could only mean two things you were pissed or were deep into a hot bath soaking the days stress away.

He pulled up your contact hitting call. He listened as it rang and rang while he walked to his bike before going to voicemail where he was blessed by your beautiful voice. “Hey amor,” He said to your mailbox, “I know, I’m so sorry. I promise I’ll make it up to you big time.” He grinned thinking of all the things he was going to do to you. “You better not have watched the next episode without me although to be fair that’d be fair.” He chuckled. You had been watching The Punisher and you were terrible about sneaking in episodes when Angel wasn’t around. “I’m sure you’re just deep in a hot bath, suds surrounding your perfect body with a glass of your favorite wine.” He continued picturing how he’d find you once he got home. “Anyways,” he said, getting back on track for his reason for calling in the first place, “I’m on my way home now. I love you and I can’t wait to see you, mi dulce.” He ended the message slipping his cell in his cut and heading your way.

Pulling down your street he could see the porch light illuminating the yard. Rosco was whining and scratching at the fence with one paw, his right one limp by his side. He perked up as he heard Angel approach. Angel frowned, the sight was unnerving for him, you never left Rosco alone outside at night and the way he was holding his paw made the pit in his stomach sink.

He parked in front of your house where your car should be. You should be home by now, he knew you had been home by the sight of the groceries scattered around the street and sidewalk. He dismantled his Harley in record time pulling his gun from his bed roll before rushing over to where he saw your purse and the contents of it spilled out across the cement. He didn’t like what he was seeing and his heart began racing.

His mind began racing now with all the possibilities of what could have happened. He bent over picking your phone up off the ground. He examined the screen, it was completely shattered and he could just barely make out his messages through the cracks in the glass. You didn’t answer because you were mad or just relaxing, no you didn’t answer because you weren’t fucking here, because something terrible had happened and he had had no clue until it was possibly too late.

He pulled his phone out dialing the first number he could think of as the panic really started to sink in. He felt like he wanted to cry and kill someone at the same time, his world was spinning out of control around him with nothing he could do about it.

“Angel.” EZ answered the call, “What’s up? Shouldn’t you be balls deep by now or something like that?” He chuckled. He was sitting outside on his trailer steps enjoying the peaceful evening, having a smoke with Gilly, Riz, and Creeper.

Angel was not laughing, how could he? Of course EZ had no clue as to what was happening.

“She’s gone.” He croaked out, still trying to wrap his mind around it.

“What?” EZ asked. That was the last thing he was expecting to hear. He sat up more now. The men around him noticed his change in demeanor immediately and perked their ears up trying to figure out what was going on.

“She’s fucking gone! Something terrible happened Ezekiel.” Was all he could say as his chest tightened. How could he have let this happen? This had to be club shit. It had to be his fault. This was all his fault.

He heard the muffled sound of voices on the other end before his brother replied, “We’ll be right there. Stay put, Angel.” EZ said as he headed off in the direction of his bike followed by all the others, “We’re gonna find her.” His own adrenaline was pumping as he sped off into the night, the rest of the club coming behind him soon after.

Angel sure as hell fucking hoped so.

Putting his phone back he grabbed your purse off the ground, picking up the discarded items. Your wallet was still here money and cards all inside so money had obviously not been the motive. Next he grabbed your sunglasses, chapstick, and snack you always carried and shoved them back into the leather bag. Last to have been thrown from your purse was a small picture facing down with a few drops of blood dried onto the ground next to it. Grabbing it he took it and the bag into the yard staring at the dark spots a moment longer and praying it wasn’t yours.

He turned his attention back to the house and his dog that was behind the fence whimpering. He opened the gate and was greeted by the big Great Dane as he limped over to him. Angel rubbed his head crouching down and brining him close. “It’s okay boy, let me see.” He lifted the paw carefully examining the damage. It was a little swollen and would definitely have to be looked at. “You’ll be okay buddy” he reassured him softly, “It’s gonna be okay.”

He sat down on the porch steps to wait for his brother Rosco sitting beside him. Rosco laid his big head on Angel’s thigh, ceasing his anxious shaking with his comforting warmth and weight. Angel hated this, the waiting, but he didn't know what else to do. He was still in shock, so many emotions running through him at once, fear, rage, heartache, all fighting for dominance.

He played with the small photograph in his hand, flicking the edge with his thumb anxiously as he stared forward. Both he and the dog were very aware of their surroundings as they waited to figure out their next move to get their girl back.

This was far from how he saw his night going. He should be holding you tight in bed, Rosco snuggled at the foot of it crushing your feet as you binged tv and ate an awful amount of junk food, not stuck here in this nightmare he was sure he had created himself.

He looked down at the picture in his hands. He swore he stopped breathing for a moment as he stated in the black and white photo before him. His eyes filled with tears, a drop falling off his dark lashes and onto the picture. There in the corner in small print was your name and today’s date.

It was a fucking sonogram. He unfolded the pictures revealing all the images. His eyes took in every detail of the small and cloudy photos before him.

You had mentioned how you had a doctor's appointment today but told Angel it was just a routine check up, nothing to worry about, but now here he was looking at his unborn child and he was more worried than he had ever been in his life. Not because you were pregnant, not at the thought of becoming a father, but at the thought that he may never get the chance to be one, that he may never meet his little boy or girl.

He let out a sob, overjoyed by the revelation and grieving for what may be lost, of the possibility of his family slipping from his grasp before he even had a chance to hold it.

He closed his eyes, sending a silent prayer up, hoping someone or something was listening, hoping his mother could hear him. “Please Mama,” he begged another sob wrecking though his body as the tears spilled out of his eyes, “please watch over her, please protect my family, I need her so fucking much, I can’t lose anyone else. Please.”

Rosco snuggled in closer as Angel wrapped his arms around the big dog, holding him tight as he cried. He couldn’t lose you or your child, wouldn’t lose you.

He couldn't let that happen.

Everything Tag List: @jad3djay @fairygardenss @carlaangel86 @briannab1234 @starrynite7114 @agirllovespasta @howaboutash @gemini0410 @naytraydr @knowles-morgan @woahitslucyylu @everyhowlmarksthedead

[guardianreadersofthegalaxy]

My July ‘20 - June ‘21 film ranking:

1.       His House (AKA ‘Walls… I Scream’) – A Sudanese couple seek refuge in the UK, but are unable to escape the horror they left behind. It’s a tried and tested horror formula: a strained family unit try to come to terms with shared trauma against the backdrop of a serious social issue. But it’s really well executed. The understated tone left me unprepared for the brazenly nightmarish imagery.

2.       Sound Of Metal (AKA ‘Deaf Becomes Him’) – A punk drummer and recovering addict deals with a sudden and severe loss of hearing. I wish I’d gotten to see more of Riz Ahmed drumming with his shirt off but maybe that’s point? The sudden silence hits Ruben and the viewer like a tonne of bricks with ‘point of hearing’ sound design ensuring you empathise. Olivia Cooke is great too and the desperate romance between addicts really appealed to the angsty teen in me, until it resolves in an appropriately mature way.

3.       The Dig (AKA ‘Ralph Fiennes A Boat’) – On the eve of World War II, a wealthy widow hires excavator Basil Brown to dig up an Anglo Saxon burial mound. The stakes are low but it’s just nice to spend time in the countryside with these characters. I normally like shaky-cam and creative sound mixing but both are overused enough to be a bit distracting. Where director Simon Stone really shines is with his handling of the cast, who give some great naturalistic performances, particularly Ralph Fiennes who seems to be channelling Toby Jones.

4.       Nomadland (AKA ‘Van Clan Thank You Ma’am) – After losing her home, unemployed widow Fern takes to the road to join the American nomads. Why are non-actors so good at acting? This is pretty light on characterisation, to the extent that it wasn’t until halfway through that I started to get a grasp of Fern’s personality, but it makes up for that by immersing you in the nomad culture, as well as showing you tonnes of lovely nature porn. Paid for by the tourism board of Nevada.

5.       Mank (AKA ‘So What If It’s Not Citizen Kane?’) – Alcoholic screenwriter Herman J. Mankiewicz draws on his experiences of 1930s Hollywood while writing the screenplay for ‘Citizen Kane’. I was more interested than emotionally invested. The old timey aesthetic felt like a gimmick, and though it was cool to hear Nine Inch Nails playing jazz tunes, the black & white gave me a headache. The real highlight was the late Jack Fincher’s screenplay, with tonnes of snappy and insightful dialogue.

6.       A Quiet Place Pt. 2 (AKA ‘Now With Talking!’) Pursued by monsters with powerful hearing, the Abbot family struggle to survive after the apocalypse. Remind me to always see horror in the cinema from now on. The big screen and sound system, and your inability to pause for a pee break, make all the difference. Though I prefer the first ‘Quiet Place’, this was a scarier watch, by virtue of me seeing it in the theatre. ‘Pt 2’ mostly lives up to the original, but lacks the emotional punch of its ending, and suffers from being split into two plots that don’t overlap.

7.       In The Heights (AKA ‘I Am Not Throwing Away My Shop’) – An adaptation of the Tony award winning show about Washington Heights’ Latin American community. It’s not easy adapting a stage musical for the screen, particularly a good one. And while I’ll still credit Lin Manuel Miranda’s source material for any and all gooseflesh I got, director John M. Chu did a pretty respectable job, with some nice creative flourishes. A lot of changes were made, many to the film’s detriment, but some provided new opportunities for characterisation.

8.       Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom (AKA ‘I Miss Theatres’) – A 1920s Chicago blues band embark on a tumultuous recording session. This has all the strengths and weaknesses of a play. The spectacles of cinema are done away with in order to spotlight the many duologues and monologues in a way that feels unnatural for a film. But the source material is excellent and the cast definitely do it justice.

9.       Tenet (AKA ‘Taco Cat’) – A mercenary known only as ‘The Protagonist’ gets caught up with time travel, a Russian oligarch and the threat of Armageddon. This is way too long and the endless, inaudible exposition gets dull very quickly but the inventive and heart-racing action sequences more or less make up for that. The male actors all play their roles with charisma while Elizabeth Debicki is left to do the emotional heavy lifting.

10.   Saint Maud (AKA ‘I’m Walking On Thumb Tacks Oh-oh’) – A hospice nurse and recent Christian convert believes she must save the soul of her terminally ill patient. I never say this, but Saint Maud should have been longer. The first seventy minutes go for slow building tension but that leaves the last half hour with not enough time to bring things to a head. The creepy atmosphere is carried by the music and visuals more than the understated performance of the two leads.

11.   Luca (AKA ‘Started Out As A Fish, How Did I End Up Like This?) – Young sea monster Luca ventures onto dry land to see the world with his friend Alberto. It’s a much breezier story than Pixar’s ‘heavy hitters’ but there’s nothing wrong with that. The underwater animation was so beautiful I was disappointed when things moved to dry land but fortunately the seaside setting was just as evocative. Plot-wise, it’s pretty standard coming-of-age fare, with any pubescent ‘awakenings’ relegated to subtext.

12.   Soul (AKA ‘Jazz’) – A New York school band teacher struggles to escape the ‘Great Before’ in time to play a gig with his hero. This is absolute treacle to the eyes and ears as you’d expect from Pixar, and the narrative theme, of living for the sake of it rather than obsessing over your goals, is insightful and well delivered. The problem is that the story did too good a job of getting me invested in Joe’s hopes and dreams for me to be on board with his final epiphany. Perhaps it’s a lesson I still need to learn, and when I have, maybe I’ll appreciate ‘Soul’ more.

13.   News Of The World (AKA ‘Not Enough News’) – A travelling news reader takes a dangerous journey through post-civil war Texas to return a young girl to her relatives. This is one of the most unremarkable films I’ve ever seen. The plot is fine but predictable and its execution is forgettably competent across the board, with few distinguishing features. It adequately killed two hours of a lockdown evening, but then so would a screen of white noise.

14.   I’m Thinking Of Ending Things (AKA ‘The Arty-Farty Film For Clever Cloggses’) – A young woman goes to visit her new boyfriend’s parents as she contemplates ‘ending things’. This would have made a great short film in that it seems very deep and, for the 50 mins before I stopped watching, doesn’t really have a plot. Problem is it’s 135 mins long and I can’t take that much unbroken weirdness. Directing, acting and writing choices are all so offputtingly deliberate that watching it felt like listening to a band where every member is soloing at the same time.

15.   Uncorked (AKA ‘Billy Sommeliot’) – A young man from Memphis dreams of leaving his parents’ barbeque restaurant to become a sommelier. This is just kinda follows the formula of ‘young working class guy wants to do something his parents don’t approve of’. It’s competently made but not very imaginative and wastes the opportunity for some great food porn.

[fromthesixteenthfloor]

"Mayans MC" Season 2, The Finale [Spoiler Alert]

Just some thoughts on the last episode of this season. Watching it in a slight hope to see Riz get some justice... which is probably never happen.

- Bitch! You are not allowed to do it! Get the f*ck out, you lying piece of shit! You have no right to comfort Vicki! Not you! - No retaliation? I don't f*cking believe it. Nope, Bishop's gonna do smth anyway. - Poor Chucky. Coco, you're an ass! - You have no right to cry for him, you bastard! *punches a wall imagining it's his face* - Creeper, you feel there's smth wrong with Taza and all that shit. You're not stupid. Do smth with it! - Taste your own pill, you f*cker! - Yep, they are gonna f*ck the VM up! This is so predictable, really. - Chucky T__T We love you. - Dita T__T I liked you, I really liked you. RIP - Of course  he's in. So obvious. Just like everything else. - Don't you dare! You shouldn't be the one who gave him the patches! Not you, traitor! - Every time Taza smiles - I hate it! I can't watch it! Just can't! - Nice music, I like it. - Poor Miguel, but... Do you remember how you burned that man with his son in the first season? Yes, karma is a bitch. - Yep, Padrino is not a fool.   - Predictable. Of course they are gonna kill them all. - Why killing the girls though? I'm sure Riz wouldn't have liked it. - Damn, that was rough. I get it, but Taza is the one who should have been killed to avenge Riz. Only him. - Poor granny. They spoiled her party, and she's 90th yo. - Doesn't matter what happened in the past, Riz didn't deserve to die for it. He had nothing to do with Taza's past. It's bullshit! - You piece of shit, Potter! You need to f*cking go already! He pisses me off! - And again: karma is a bitch. Now you know, Adelita, what it's like when some asses take your child from you. - War with the SoA? Again? - Move on already! With your own story! I love Sons, but I wish Mayans have their own story, THEIR OWN with no Sons in it. - And Taza just got away with Riz's murder. Fucking hate this shit! I'm out! I'm done with this show! Riz has died for f*cking nothing!

Well, the ending was pretty much predictable and it also made me really mad. I've decided that I'm not gonna watch it any longer, there's nothing left that actually interests me in this story. And the shit with the Sons even made it worse, as I always wanted for Mayans to have their own story, free from the Sons. They deserved to be an absolutely independent story, but we continue to go back to Sons again and again. Maybe, again MAYBE I'm gonna catch up if they'll gonna make Taza to pay for what he did. Not in secret, not for some other shit but for the murder of Riz. And Creeper is better to be the one who's gonna make it happen. Besides I need to see Riz's funeral. They just cannot not do this! He was the first to die, and it does matter! Remember Opie's funeral? I need that shit for Riz! He deserves it! But for now I'm definitely out. I don't like the place the club is curently in, I'm not interested in the Galindo's, or the Reye's, or in Adelita, or Taza's shit with Palo, or especially in Potter, and that's pretty much the whole story is about, so... And I hate to hate Taza as I always loved him so much, but I just cannot not to, and it tears me apart. I'm still gonna make some gifs from the current and the last seasons (of Riz mostly), but that's all for now. Gonna follow the news though, just in case... I just really loved the club, even more than the Sons. Such a pity.

[elizas-writing]

Movie Reviews: Venom

**Mild Spoilers for Content Warnings**

This film includes scenes with bright flashing lights, high pitched sounds, and vomiting. While brief, they’re not so great if you’re photo and/or sound sensitive or squeamish. So when...

Eddie goes to take pictures in the dark facility

Eddie eats out of a garbage can

Eddie is in/near the MRI machine

Venom is on top of a building

And the big climatic showdown.... those are your cues to turn away and/or cover your ears.

On with the review!

I can’t remember the last time I saw such a mixed-bag of a movie in every sense of the phrase like Venom. The shared rights between Sony and Disney with Spider-Man in film is confusing enough as is, especially with the former starting universes completely unrelated to MCU. But at the same time, given the titular character’s embarrassing portrayal in Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man 3, it’s long overdue to do justice and give something better than....

... that.

With spooky, gritty trailers promising a dark character study to ring in October, it definitely pays off in ways I did and didn’t expect. However, despite some of the mindless enjoyment of the film and character, Venom also seems like it’s holding back from doing something greater to stand out among the likes of MCU and DCEU. But at what point does that really matter?

Tom Hardy plays investigative journalist, Eddie Brock, who built a hell of a career uncovering corruption throughout San Francisco but often gets in trouble for his bluntness and means to get the story. His next lead is the bioengineering startup company, the Life Foundation, after one of their rockets suddenly crashes on Earth after a mission to find habitable life in space. Going against his boss’s warnings and even snooping through his fiancee’s emails with her law firm defending the company, Eddie pressures the CEO, Carlton Drake, to answer about the crash and numerous mysterious deaths surrounding their pharmaceutical tests. Not only is he forcibly removed from the facility, but he also loses his job and fiancee when she finds out what he did.

Six months pass, and Eddie, down on his luck to find work and mental stability, meets a doctor working for the Life Foundation who reveals the secrets of their experiments. When the rocket crashed, it was carrying alien specimens which Drake calls symbiotes, and he believes by giving these creatures human hosts, it’ll unlock secrets for humanity to survive outside of Earth. But, as you do, these experiments are killing all his human subjects, so Eddie goes to further investigate. One of the symbiotes escapes and latches onto Eddie, giving him superhuman strength, hyper-acute senses, and an insatiable hunger. The symbiote reveals himself to Eddie and offers his aide to keep him safe from Drake (mainly by tapping into Eddie’s impulses). But the two have bigger problems on their hands when another escaped symbiote wants to use Drake technology to bring back more of their kind to take over the Earth, and this unlikely pair will have to work together before further disaster strikes.

The film has all the right pieces to create a better than average film, and when they’re done well, they really shine. Tom Hardy is a great actor choice for this rendition of Eddie Brock. He fancies himself a bad boy with the black clothes and motorcycle, but he always wants to do right for society in calling corruption where he sees it. But with his life spiraling out of control and a symbiote latched to him, he’s constantly on edge and struggles to maintain his morality. Hardy is also spectacular lending his voice to Venom with the help of some killer editing where you can hardly recognize him. Of course, he’s incredibly threatening and you never know what’s on his mind and what he has to gain out of all this. But there’s also this odd, buddy-comedy vibe the longer Venom and Eddie get to know each other. Venom is really more like a curious, impulsive five-year-old who grows a soft spot for Eddie and life on Earth.

It’s really fun to see Eddie and Venom figure out a balance as an anti-hero between doing the right thing and using any destructive means necessary to get the job done. And I really wish more of the film was like this.

I know audiences are miffed by the critics’ harshness, but despite how much I liked Venom, I can’t totally disagree that it’s so choppily edited together and some of the tonal dissonance is a bit distracting. The trailers and exposition build up a deep, dark study of Eddie’s character as he becomes more desperate to get the truth, breaks his fiancee’s trust, self-sabotages major chunks of his life, and passes the blame to Carlton Drake. But all that potential drama is wrapped up too quickly just to get to the action scenes, show off Venom’s powers, and Eddie going twitchy. Don’t get me wrong; I love some mindless action and Tom Hardy being silly, and Venom has a wonderfully aggressive fighting style. But the exposition drags when the built up themes around corruption, being an anti-hero, and the limitations of science just go no where.

I honestly have no idea what Riz Ahmed is doing as Carlton Drake. He’s somewhere between a stereotypical cartoon-y villain, but also wants to be taken seriously as a corrupt scientist without regards to morals. It’s one of the bits of tonal dissonance which just doesn’t work because sometimes you can’t tell when you’re supposed to be scared of him or laugh at him (especially when he lapses in logic like how his massive facility has only two inept security guards and no cameras). It’s hilarious to see him pull the cliches, and Ahmed’s working the best he can with the given material. But at the same time, you’re not sure what the hell the intention was behind this portrayal or if it suffered from the choppy edits. Again, it’s build up with no pay off, which sucks because the whole power and responsibility dynamic is super fun to see in Spider-Man villains.

The fight scenes suffer some of the worst edits as some of the CGI looks a bit too rushed out and plastic-y (though thankfully it doesn’t look like a video game which is more than I can say for Spider-Man 3). It’s also super obvious this was meant to be an R-rated film, but for some reason, they backed out and made it PG-13 at the last second and cut the decapitations. Given the rest of the film’s excess violence and adult themes, they honestly should’ve just gone all out. Screw the kids; just commit to a gritty, but funny anti-hero film.

And that’s the film’s biggest problem is its lack of commitment to one solid vision. It almost wants to follow the Deadpool formula minus the satire, but never goes full force in its ideas except for the two main characters’ interactions. It rushes over the character drama to get to all the action and big climax, and then it just ends. They definitely had another 10-20 minutes of content to squeeze in, but that was all cut just to get something out after over a decade in-and-out of pre-production. I can’t totally blame the studio since it was probably a bitch to work out the rights once Disney got a hold of Spider-Man and if this would technically be an MCU film. There is a dedicated team doing their damnedest to deliver something great with all their limitations, and the effort shows when you know where to look. And to its credit, it’s nowhere near the same level of dumpster fire like Suicide Squad or Justice League where they shoved so much shit in without rhyme or reason where I can’t even laugh at some of the bad stuff.

For all its flaws, it’s hard for me to hate Venom. The foundation is solid enough and if they commit to sequels, I hope they can learn from their mistakes to strengthen this new universe. I love Eddie and Venom’s interactions and their unique brand of anti-hero. The action is super fun and intense when it’s not too choppily edit. I love the little twist of comedy in an otherwise dark story. Hell, it’s one of the few instances I have an Eminem song playing on repeat. Those moments are definitely worth toughing out the slower and more ludicrous moments (especially the two end credits scenes). I’ll take “turd in the wind” over...

... that... any day.

If you’re looking for a super polished film and that great adaptation of a Venom origin story, this is probably not for you. But if you want to just shut your brain off to the Rotten Tomatoes scores and find another mindless guilty pleasure to enjoy, you’ll definitely get some great moments worth at least one viewing. Pick your poison, and see what you take away from it.

If you enjoyed this review and what I do here, consider buying me a ko-fi to show your support!

[hotshotshitshow]

tell me about your ocs!!! i've really only heard things about them across multiple posts and tbh i haven't been able to keep them straight very well because of that. give me a rundown!!!! im beg

skdjfndskj anon are you for real right now.... is this actually happening... iM SO APPRECIATIVE THANK U you have no idea what this means to me screams!!! i am very sorry for confusion, this is supposed to be my oc blog but i dont post enough about them bc i am a very self conscious person so i know that i dont do a good job on sharing enough info ;n;i will attempt to be concise but idk who im kidding bc im sure this is going to get long so info is going under the cut !! i will.... only talk about my most significant ones just so i (hopefully) dont overwhelm you too much... but i have many more characters ksdkfndlk

sev is ... a lot ok she is very abrasive and intense and reactionary and is a very hard person to be friends with but she is an extremely anxious person and this is often how her anxiety presents itself. she is a person who very much values honesty and while she can be written off as a bully at times she honestly means well and does her best. idk there is so so much i could say about her bc i love her and identify with her so much but i will spare u.... 

riz is sev’s older sister (sev has three older sisters and riz is the third child in their family) riz is a lesbian and has a lot of trouble dealing with some pretty serious anxiety and depression throughout her life. she doesnt have a lot of great social skills and this often makes her come off as a very cold, intimidating person, but shes actually just scared shitless most of the time. she has absolutely 0 self confidence but if you do manage to befriend her, you’ll see that shes an incredibly funny person  (that is if you enjoy toilet humor... she lives for gross humor) that being said, absolutely nothing grosses her out.

basira is the second child in sev’s family. she is basically like everything that i aspire to be... she’s definitely got her shit together ok. she is a very proud person who can sometimes come off as a bit self absorbed but ultimately she loves you and probably wants to be your friend!! her job involves working in a hospice-like setting in which she can help her clients prepare themselves for death and process whatever they need to process. however, she is a psychopomp, and this means that she is able to meet her clients in the spirit world once they die to help ease the process of crossing over and help them not be so afraid. she is a half-ghost polyamorous trans woman who wants to help you through one of the scariest and most uncertain times you will inevitably face at some point.

this is jed.. he is part of the same universe as sev and her family but has a completely different story that doesnt really overlap with theirs at all (this is a pretty pervasive thing for all my characters actually, they are all technically part of the same universe but often stories don’t overlap much) he is a bisexual trans man who is your friendly neighborhood obsessive paranormal geek. he takes lots of things, including himself, Way Too Seriously and doesnt really understand when he’s being made fun of but honestly he doesnt really care. he is a nomadic person who is constantly trying to prove that supernatural entities exist, but has probably never actually had a real paranormal experience. he has a small paranormal team, one of which is sev’s eldest sister vin that i have not mentioned here, minerva who belongs to @thedeadgiraffe​, and buck.

buck is a 16-ish year old kid who grew up in rural oregon and is just trying to figure shit out. he is easily stressed out and is a fairly reactionary person but hes honestly just really unsure of himself and scared a lot of the time. he has such a sweet, gentle heart, but is afraid of exposing it for a lot of reasons. he has as weird thing where when his emotions become really intense, it begins to effect the weather in the area around him. he is very not fond of this. 

maude is satan in my character’s universe. she is more concerned with making sure that justice is served rather than being an evil person that just goes around doing mean things for no reason. she takes her job incredibly seriously, though you wouldnt guess it right off the bat, as she enjoys messing around and having a good laugh. she was originally born as a human, but ended up taking on the role of satan due to some fairly tragic events in her life and being manipulated by god. she is also polyamorous and is married to basira (the two of them also have one more partner but they belong to @thedeadgiraffe​

vivi is a lady who died a long time ago because she did something dumb. she resents more than anything the fact that she is dead and wishes for nothing more than to live again. for now, she's stuck in an old mansion on top of a lonely mountain hoping for travelers to stop by for a rest and ease her aching loneliness. she is able to trick people into believing she is a living person by possessing frozen corpses and wearing elaborate outfits that cover every inch of where skin might be shown. she loves venetian carnival masks and costumes because they hide everything.vivi is social and craves attention and loves feeling like she is taking good care of her guests. she is an entertainer at heart and is extremely theatrical, often bordering on melodramatic. she is a kind person but has a knack for being a brat. she is for the most part very kind to any visitors she has, but is extremely self-absorbed and will "collect" the body of anyone she thinks looks similar enough to how she looked while she was alive. wooOOoo sinister. she is a femme lesbian

quoia is a kind person who just wants to be your friend! they want nothing more than to just get along and have a good time. they are agender, asexual, and aromantic.they are a bit of a noodle and unfortunately have a hard time standing up for themselves, to the point where its pretty unhealthy for themselves. they like bugs, crazy patterns, and bright colors. they have a fear of anything that is too cute, they find excessively cutesy stuff to be extremely unsettling. they meet sev during their freshman year in college as dormmates and have a very rocky beginning together, as you can only guess, but end up becoming life long friends who end up owning a house together once they are older. (this does not mean they are in a relationship, they just know that they are compatible living together)

griselda is a big surly butch lesbian anteater monster lady. she is a lady of few words and always does a good job on her work. she has little interest in most things unless she can benefit from it somehow. if she feels she can get something out of a situation, she can flip on the charm like nothing else. she has a knack for coming off like she really cares and can appear very understanding and sweet but as soon as she's got what she wants from you, she'll drop you immediately.griselda has cryptid status in my character's universe. its almost like being a celebrity in the spirit world. this is fine sometimes, because she enjoys allowing herself to be seen momentarily by humans and stirring up a ruckus and hearing all the far-fetched stories they make up about her, but beyond that she just wants to be left alone. she and maude are drinking buddies.

[leviathangourmet]

There was a time when Das Kapital was my bible. It sits on one of the bookshelves that line my living room, alongside other artifacts from my youthful foray into Marxism. The front cover is worn, the pages slightly frayed. For years, I returned to those words, chewing slow on arguments unspooled in archaic prose about labour-power and the appropriation of surplus-value. I was certain I’d found the key to understanding the modern world; a truth so pure it would end the oppression of man by man.

I’ve thought often about that sense of certainty in the years since. I turn the memories over in my mind, amazed at my erstwhile fervency. The sense that I, a teenager and later a young man, had found the answer to what ails the world in a text of political economy published in 1867….That hubris, in retrospect, is shocking.

Although I would have protested the idea then, it’s become clear to me that my former sense of conviction was a secularized form of faith. My pretense to holding an atheistic worldview coldly ruled by reason was just that: a pretense. Marx may have been correct that religion is the opiate of the masses, but he failed to envision what his materialist conception of history would become to his followers in a secularized world. On an unconscious level, my ideology was fundamentally theistic, my nominal rejection of the supernatural notwithstanding.

The link between religion and Marxism (or, more recently, identity politics) has been remarked upon by many writers, including here in Quillette. Nevertheless, I continue to be struck by how many intelligent and empathetic young people, often on the tail end of a gradual, multi-generational rejection of God, become congregants of the radical left.

I’ll use Christianity and Marxism to illustrate the point, but it holds for other religions and ideologies as well. Jesus steps onto the world stage to bring forth the word of God, before sacrificing himself for the sins of mankind. Marx rises from obscurity after revealing the unfolding logic of history and—by extension—the end point in the social organization of man. The apostles, the closest followers of Christ, dedicate themselves to interpreting and spreading his word. The post-Marx Marxists do the same, although the most revered figures vary depending on geography and personal preference. For some, it’s butchers such as Stalin and Mao; for me, it was Lenin and Trotsky, the architects of the October Revolution of 1917. Perhaps most on the nose: The Czech-Austrian communist theoretician Karl Kautsky, the most well-known follower of Marx and Engels in the immediate aftermath of their deaths, was affectionately called “the pope of Marxism.”

The Old Testament is replaced by Das Kapital or The Communist Manifesto, and the New Testament by Trotsky’s Permanent Revolution, or Mao’s On Guerilla Warfare, or Lenin’s April Theses. Parsing these texts becomes an obsession for generations of true believers. The rapture, that bloody apocalyptic end of days, is replaced with revolution. And like fundamentalist Christians, many Marxists look forward to it, including the death and terror it would bring. Finally, communism marks the manifestation of heaven on earth. Despite the pretension to atheism, Marxism provides a secularized Christian eschatology, rooted in an unconscious Manichaean millenarianism.

The late British-American essayist Christopher Hitchens was a reformed Marxist. In his 2007 book, God is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything, he likened his youthful political convictions to religious faith thusly:

When I was a Marxist, I did not hold my opinions as a matter of faith, but I did have the conviction that a sort of unified field theory might have been discovered. The concept of historical and dialectical materialism was not an absolute, and it did not have any supernatural element, but it did have its messianic element in the idea that an ultimate moment might arrive, and it most certainly had its martyrs and saints and doctrinaires and (after a while) its mutually excommunicating rival papacies. It also had its schisms and inquisitions and heresy hunts. I was a member of a dissident sect, which admired Rosa Luxemburg and Leon Trotsky, and I can say definitely that we also had our prophets…Those of us who had a sort of rational alternative for religion had reached a terminus which was comparably dogmatic.

As I can attest, there is a certain comfort that accompanies this mindset, which I suspect is similar to what religious true believers feel. It also gives one a sense of purpose, for I was a missionary on the hunt for converts. There were times I travelled hundreds of kilometres to participate in demonstrations that had little, if any, connection to my life, except for the hope that one day, perhaps even after my death, my efforts would help usher in the prophesized utopia. There were moments my comrades and I would even acknowledge and poke fun at this aspect of our activism: During a campaign that involved canvassing poor neighbourhoods in a major U.S. city, knocking on door after door, we began referring to ourselves as the Jehovah’s Witnesses of the revolution.

One of the most evident problems with faith-based (or ersatz-faith-based) worldviews is that they arm adherents with a sense of certitude that is corrosive to discourse. It leaves them utterly certain that they occupy the moral high ground on every issue, and so the facts must be on their side. And if the facts prove uncooperative, they are either ignored, distorted, or simply erased. This is something the much-maligned French philosopher Michel Foucault understoodquite well, notwithstanding all of the criticism to which he has been subject:

The polemi­cist…pro­ceeds en­cased in priv­i­leges that he pos­sesses in ad­vance and will never agree to ques­tion. On prin­ci­ple, he pos­sesses rights au­tho­riz­ing him to wage war and mak­ing that strug­gle a just un­der­tak­ing; the per­son he con­fronts is not a part­ner in search for the truth, but an ad­ver­sary, an en­emy who is wrong, who is harm­ful, and whose very ex­is­tence con­sti­tutes a threat. For him, then, the game con­sists not of rec­og­niz­ing this per­son as a sub­ject hav­ing the right to speak, but of abol­ish­ing him as in­ter­locu­tor from any pos­si­ble di­a­logue; and his final ob­jec­tive will be not to come as close as pos­si­ble to a difficult truth, but to bring about the tri­umph of the just cause he has been man­i­festly up­hold­ing from the be­gin­ning.

There’s an episode from my own past that illustrates this general principle nicely. I’m young and arguing with my stepfather about politics. In Canada, where we live, our nation’s treatment of Indigenous peoples is a shameful stain on our history. The Indigenous population remains marginalized, their communities being often poor and isolated. We were discussing what needed to be done to remedy this. My stepfather argued that there is only so much the government can do to improve the lot of any group, and that states should create the conditions in which people can lift themselves up, before getting out of the way entirely. It’s a perfectly reasonable position, one I’m sympathetic to now. But at the time, I was having none of it. Not only was he on the wrong side of the issue, he was on the wrong side of history. Frustrated and angry after a lengthy, emotional exchange, I called him a racist, practically spitting the word at him. In fact, my stepfather is nothing of the sort. I’ve never heard him utter an unkind word, let alone one that betrayed an attitude of bigotry. This wasn’t a case of him denying historical wrongs. He simply disagreed what steps could best be taken to address a problem we both recognized as real. Thinking back on the encounter still makes me feel ashamed.

For many of us, such one-off encounters have become a regular—sometimes even daily—form of “debate,” especially on social media, whose dynamics encourage rhetorical stakes-raising. The idea that two people acting in good faith can look at the same set of facts and reach different conclusions has gone from unspoken assumption to exotic claim. People aren’t just wrong on this or that issue: They’re morally flawed. They don’t have bad politics: They’re bad people. On Twitter, you actually find college professors and politicians using Nazi analogies to attack people who disagree with them on mundane points of policy.

My job as a journalist requires me to spend a fair amount of time on Twitter, which I find draining and toxic. My feed is a curated list of North American politicos and reporters, which gives me a front row seat on the outrage mobs. I’ve concluded that many of the most active and influential culture warriors—the ones in the front pews praying the loudest, and the most ecstatically—are mentally unwell.

The Covington Catholic student controversy at the Lincoln Memorial offered an extreme example—perhaps even a wake-up call. People are no longer seen as individuals, but rather stand-ins for group identity. Nick Sandmann, the 16-year-old boy at the centre of things, was depicted as the very distillation of white supremacist, patriarchal evil. Making a single individual, let alone a child, the proxy for centuries of oppression isn’t social justice. It’s insanity. One was reminded of a Christian mob in ancient times that had found a heretic to sacrifice—or a similar mob in modern Pakistan that had seized some poor sod accused of mocking the Prophet Mohammed or desecrating a Koran.

One of the best descriptions of the ideologically possessed mind comes to us from Hungarian-British author Arthur Koestler (1905-1983). In The God that Failed, a 1949 collection of essays written by ex-communists detailing their conversion to, and disillusionment from, Marxism, Koestler wrote:

Something had clicked in my brain, which shook me like a mental explosion. To say that one had ‘seen the light’ is a poor description of the mental rapture which only the convert knows…The new light seems to pour from all directions across the skull; the whole universe falls into a pattern like the stray pieces of a jigsaw puzzle assembled by magic at one stroke. There is now an answer to every question, doubts and conflicts are a matter of the tortured past.

What is needed in the face of such ideological certainty is a phase shift to a more modest intellectual approach. When I look back on my time as a Marxist, I’m struck by how little doubt I experienced. The world is an unbelievably complex place composed of infinite shades of grey. And anyone who thinks they have it all figured out should be mistrusted on principle.

These days, when I see that copy of Das Kapital on my shelf, my mind turns not to its author, but to Socrates. For during my years as a Marxist, I lost touch with the philosopher’s greatest insight: “I neither know nor think I know.” Socrates was the smartest man in Athens because he recognized his ignorance. It is perhaps the oldest lesson that philosophy has to teach us, yet so many of us have forgotten it.

This is not a call for epistemological nihilism. I am not advocating a bottomless appeal to subjectivity that destroys the very idea of truth. Meaning and knowledge, not just aesthetic preference, are possible; and it is incumbent upon us to strive for them. But we must also remember that people of good faith can be divided by politics and religion. Your favorite pundit or political theorist is just that—a pundit or political theorist, not a Moses, Mohammed or Jesus. And there is no one ideology that will lead us to an imagined promised land.