#I hope I can spend even more time invested in it. And continue to love the characters more and more

[t4tklonoa]

Learn to accept Learn to let dreams go

[puckinghischier]

Tentastrophe

Nico Hischier x Fem!reader

summary: reader and nico are in a secret relationship while on a camping trip together

notes: hi lovies! i got this request from my dear 🏔️ anon so i had to get right on it!! this was so fun to write and even more fun to play out in my head while i was writing it 🤭. also i had no clue what to name it so i quite literally just made up a word 🫣. i hope you enjoy!! happy reading! 🫶🏼

request: We’re camping and my tent ripped, can I please share yours?

[5.1k]

You hated the outdoors. Truly, you despised being outside.

You hated bugs, you were scared of wild animals, you hated the heat, you hated dirt, grass made you itchy, and you really hate the lack of indoor plumbing.

Literally, how do people enjoy spending a week out in the middle of nowhere, no signal for miles, no air conditioning, and eating the same four types of canned food? Not to mention your dislike of sleeping bags.

Who wants to sleep on a flimsy piece of material on the hard ground for days at a time? It’s just simply not appealing.

You continue to list off the things in your head you hate about camping and the outdoors in general while watching yourself be driven farther and farther away from the city through the windshield of Jack’s SUV.

“Oh c��mon, Y/N, don’t look like someone just kicked a puppy in front of you,” you hear from the front seat, Jack looking at you through his rear-view mirror.

You roll your eyes at him.

“Jack, I’m being taken to a remote location against my will with no access to a bathroom or civilization for seven whole days. At least if someone kicked a puppy in front of me, it’d be over sooner.”

“Woah, so you’re advocating for puppy kickers now, are you?” A new voice rings out, this one belonging to Dawson, who occupies the seat against the window beside of you.

“She’s not advocating for it, Dawson, she’s just saying she’d prefer it to being stuck in the woods with you for a week straight,” Holtzy responds from your other side, having been sandwiched between the two in the backseat of Jack’s car for the hour and a half ride to your unfortunate destination.

Dawson reaches behind your head to smack Alex’s. Alex tries to retaliate, and suddenly you have two hockey players trying to fight each other on either side of your body.

“Hey! Cut it out before you hurt Y/N! Coach needs her to get good footage this weekend,” Luke yells at the two forwards.

“Wow, thanks for showing me where my worth lies, Luke,” you deadpan.

Luke flashes you a grin before turning back around in his seat. “You’re welcome.”

You stick your tongue out at him, knowing he’s just teasing you.

When you applied for a marketing internship at the Prudential Center a year ago, you had no idea that you would become so invested in this world. After the initial six month period of your internship was over, you were making plans to find work elsewhere when you were approached by the team’s GM and asked if you were interested in staying on full time as the new social media manager.

You immediately agreed, knowing you had found your passion with working in sports and wanted to stick with it for as long as you could. It didn’t hurt that you had become such good friends with a handful of the players close to your age, four of which were in the same car as you right now.

You and Jack were the closest, though. The two of you bonded over your shared love of country music, a rare find outside of your southern hometown. You had found other interests in common, too, but becoming each other’s country music concert buddy is to credit for much of your friendship.

You grew close to Luke simply because of your proximity to Jack, but found that he’s become a little brother to you. People always assumed there was more than friendship going on between you and Jack, but both of the Hughes boys had become the brothers you never had, no feelings beyond that ever surfacing.

As your job continued to cause you to spend time with the team, you found yourself growing closer to other players as well.

Nico was another player you found yourself talking to long after your work duties were done for the day. Whether it was chatting before practice, pulling him a little too frequently to do interviews or make videos, or grabbing a bite to eat after practice and games because neither one of you wanted to end your conversations, you found the Swiss captain occupying a large chunk of your time both at work and outside of work.

Which doesn’t make it all that surprising that he asked you to be his girlfriend three months ago.

After a huge win over the Islanders at home, the entire team had decided to go out to celebrate. You had caught a ride with Jack that morning, but when you were searching for him so you could leave, he was nowhere to be found, already gone to whatever bar everyone had agreed on.

Nico had stayed behind to do a few extra post-game interviews, so when you bumped into him outside of the locker rooms on your search for Jack, he offered you a ride. You had mentioned how hungry you were, telling him you should probably go home and grab something to eat and change before getting an uber to the bar, but Nico had pulled into the first late-night diner he saw after you mentioned your lack of eating dinner.

The two of you sat in the 50’s themed diner for hours, ignoring all the calls and texts asking where you were and why you didn’t come out to celebrate. You didn’t even realize how late it was until you received a text from Jack, asking that you call him when you got up so he knew you made it home safe, apologizing for forgetting you at the arena.

Nico walked you up to your apartment after driving you home that night, despite the fact it was after three in the morning and they had a mid-day practice the next day. You still don’t know if it was the high of winning or the late hour, but he decided to kiss you at your doorstep that night. Three days later, he asked you to be his girlfriend because he told you he couldn’t stand not being exclusive with you for a second longer.

No one knew, though. You kept on acting as if nothing had changed at work, and no one caught on otherwise. You decided it was fun to keep it to yourselves, enjoying being each other’s secret. You didn’t know the policy on dating your coworkers, either, so you didn’t want to risk anything by outing the relationship this early.

You felt bad lying and sneaking around Jack and Luke, especially, but you’ll tell them eventually. You enjoyed having no eyes on you, your relationship being simply between you and Nico right now. When you tell your friends and the rest of the team, it’ll be out there for good. Fans will find out, your boss will find out, and then your small bubble of Nico will burst.

That’s another reason you dread this weekend. Not only do you just hate camping and being outside for long periods of time, you’re going to be stuck being around Nico for a week straight with no chance to be his girlfriend instead of his coworker.

The trip is the team’s pre-season bonding activity, so you’re tagging along to capture material for future videos and pictures for the various social media pages and website. You had tried to send one of the other members of your media team, not thrilled at the idea of a camping retreat, but the head coach had requested you, specifically, because of your ability to convince the players to participate in various trends and videos.

You owe some of that to Nico, of course. After the two of you formed a friendship, he started telling his teammates they had to participate in whatever silly tasks you asked of them or he’d start reporting them to coach for making your job harder. Since his forceful request, you rarely had to fight to get any of the players to do the latest trending dance, or answer silly questions as they get on the ice before practice.

Unfortunately for you, this means the higher ups see your success and suddenly you’re volunteered to do things like this. And really, what kind of social media content can you create when you won’t even have cell service?

Tuning back into your surroundings, you notice you’re almost to the campground you’ll call home this week. You were so lost in your own head that you barely even noticed the four (grown) men in this car with you singing loudly to the F.U.N. song from none other than Spongebob Squarepants.

Jack and Luke were duetting the song, Jack taking the sponge’s part and Luke singing Plankton’s lines. Dawson and Alex were simply adding harmonies.

You were in for a long week.

———————————————————————————

“Who in their right mind would put a twenty-four year old teenage girl in charge of putting together her own tent?” you whine out as Curtis walks over to see you trying to read the directions for putting together the tent laid out in front of you.

“Honey, I think you’re a little too old to be calling yourself a teenage girl,” he chuckles as he kneels beside you, taking the instructions out of your hands.

“I’m just a girl, Lazar. I will always be a teenage girl at my core, no matter what age I am. Therefore, I’m a twenty-four year old teenage girl. And I’m extremely incapable of building a fucking tent,” you cry out, crossing your arms and huffing.

Curtis just shakes his head and laughs, grabbing the rods that go inside of the tent to give it structure, putting it together for you.

You sit back and watch, trying to help where you can, but ultimately being reverted back to the role of ‘holding the flashlight for dad’, but instead you’re ‘holding the mallet for Curtis’.

Halfway through putting your tent up, you see Nico start walking in your direction. You admire your boyfriend, his tan skin showing due to his green t-shirt being stuck in the pocket of his athletic shorts instead of on his torso. His black hat sits backwards on his head, hiding what you’re sure is sweaty hair. His favorite pair of sunglasses rest on his nose.

“Already making the guys do your dirty work, how dare you, Y/N,” Nico teases as he stops to stand in front of where you’re sitting on the ground.

“Listen, one perk of being a woman in sports is the fact that I’m always surrounded by men just waiting to save the damsel in distress,” you put your hand across your forehead to hide the sun from your eyes, squinting your eyes as you look up at him.

He rolls his eyes at you, flashing you a smile.

“Need any help, Curtis?” Nico calls out, but keeps his eyes on you.

“I think I’m nearly done, but if you want to start hammering the stakes in the ground that’d be great,” Curtis replies, not even looking up from the tent that had now taken shape.

“Sure thing. The mallet, please,” he reaches his hand out to you.

You hand Nico the mallet, looking up at him with an amused grin. “Get to it, time to do manly stuff and go pound on something .”

You start to stand and Nico shoots his other hand out for you to grab onto, helping you heave yourself off the ground.

Once you’re stood in front of Nico, he pulls your hand toward him so you’re standing dangerously close to him, your chests nearly touching. You look around, making sure no one sees the position the two of you are in right now.

Nico leans down, lips grazing your ear as he whispers “Unless you want me to drag you behind a tree and do extremely un-coworker type things to you with the entire team right here, I suggest you don’t talk about pounding anymore this weekend.”

A shiver makes it way down your spine as Nico steps back, walking over to where Curtis is now standing, turning to face the two of you.

You hope he assumes the redness on your face is because of the warm sun, and not because his captain just threatened to do R rated things to you behind a tree.

Ten minutes later, your tent is fully assembled and you’re blowing up your air mattress with a battery powered pump that’s seen better days.

Jack had laughed at your for bringing an air mattress, claiming it’s not really camping if you don’t sleep in a sleeping bag. You told him you refused to sleep on the ground with just a thin bag underneath you for the whole week. If you had to be here, you were going to make yourself as comfortable as you could.

You even brought a battery powered fan to sit in front of your bed incase you got hot at night, but you learned very quickly that even though it’s hot and humid during the day, the night is chilly and dark.

After everyone had settled in and the sun had set, Timo had managed to start a fire, placing hot dogs on a small grate he placed next to the fire while Jesper worked on opening cans of various types of vegetables to heat along side the sausages.

You laughed to yourself, knowing the team nutritionist would develop an eye twitch seeing what foods will be consumed by the players this week. The amount of sodium and carbs in the containers of food for the week were definitely not in line with the meal plan.

Finding a spot next to Jack, you go sit on one of the various logs around the fire, needing the heat to warm your chilled skin. Music played out of a speaker sitting on the picnic table behind the logs, one of your favorite country songs filling the space.

“Nice choice, it’s one of my favorites,” you nudge Jack’s shoulder as you sat down, assuming he had control of the music.

“Yeah it’s a good one, but don’t look at me. Cap’s the one with the aux right now,” he says, pointing to where Nico is standing by a tree, red solo cup in his hand.

You turn your head and make eye contact with him, his eyes having already found you. The raise of his cup and tilt of his head telling you he played this song specifically for you. Your face heats and you smile at the ground, trying to keep the grin from stretching too wide, not wanting to raise suspicion from the brunette to your right.

“Y’know, I wonder why Cap has any country music in his playlist at all, because last I checked, his phone was full of rap and Swiss music and he told me country was his least favorite genre,” Jack starts, leaning closer so you can hear him over the music and chatter. “But then I remembered, I see you and him talking an awful lot after practice, before practice, and everywhere in-between.” You feel like someone has dumped a bucket of ice water on your head, worried Jack’s figured the two of you out. “You’re not cheating on your music buddy, are you?” he asks, looking at you suspiciously.

Relief washes over you. He just thinks you’re sharing music with Nico. Not that you’re seeing Nico behind everyone’s back.

“I might have mentioned a few good artists to him. But don’t worry, concerts are still reserved for you,” you bump his shoulder again.

“Mhmmm. Must have taken a lot of convincing to make a rap loving Swiss man convert to Zach Bryan,” Jack hums, still looking at you suspiciously.

“Just a few links sent is all,” you tell him, noticing he’s just staring at you. “What?” you ask, leaning back a bit.

“Nothing,” Jack shakes his head, his eyes gleaming with an idea. “Just thinking…have you ever thought about going out with Cap?”

You choke on air. You try to recover with a cough, claiming you swallowed the wrong way. “What, what do you mean?”

“You know, like you and Cap. Going on a date. Dating. I think you two would be good together. You guys already seem friendly enough, and he’s a great guy. Plus, I can see the way you look at him, Y/N. You definitely have a crush on the guy,” Jack teases.

You start laughing. Jack is confused by your reaction, not thinking his suggestion was funny at all, but you can’t stop the laughs from escaping.

“Oh, Jack. You’re funny,” you tell him once you calm yourself down. “That’s nice, but nah. I don’t think Nico and I should go there. Too many things could go wrong, y’know? Plus, who even knows if I’m allowed to date any of you guys. Workplace romances are frowned upon in most jobs, you know.”

“Okay, it wasn’t that comical of a suggestion. I was being serious, I think you guys would be great together. To hell with the rules. I can tell when two people are into each other,” Jack says with a hint of annoyance, not appreciating your little laughing outburst.

A look of surprise makes its way onto your face at his comment that he thinks Nico is into you, too. Maybe the two of you weren’t doing such a good job at acting normal around the team. You succeed at suppressing the laughter this time, figuring a second outburst would really make Jack upset. “Oh, you think he’s into me, do you?”

Jack looks at you like you just asked him if the sky was blue.

“Are you kidding me? Y/N, he literally jumps at the chance to be in any of your tik tok videos and he threatened the whole team so they would quit, and I quote, ‘making your job harder and just fucking do what you ask’ or he’d report us to coach.”

You can’t help but giggle this time, of course knowing all of this, Nico having told you himself after he did it, but you can’t let Jack know that.

“I don’t know, Jack, that doesn’t exactly sound like something he’d do. What does he get out of it? More interruptions during practice? More attention on social media? Doesn’t sound like Nico if you ask me,” you tell him, trying to play dumb.

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe he gets to spend more time with you. He gets on your good side, helps make your job easier while making ours harder. Earns brownie points to butter you up so you say yes to a date one of these days,” Jack leans his head towards yours, looking up at you like he’s just proven his point.

You steal a glance over at Nico, his head cocked, silently asking what you and Jack are talking about. You shake your head with a smile, telling him its unimportant with the roll of your eyes.

“I don’t know, Jack. We’ll see, I guess,” you sing song, earning a sigh from the boy to your right.

“You’re hopeless, both of you. I need another beer,” he gets up, leaving you on the bench by yourself, chuckling at just how right your best friend is.

After all of the burnt hot dogs and lukewarm veggies were eaten, it was time to for everyone to retire to their tents.

All of the players had to double up on tents, you and the coach being the only two people with their own. The players that were sharing tents on this trip would be sharing hotel rooms all season, so the bonding began with them being able to exist in the same space for an extended period of time.

Your tent sat about 50 feet from Jack and Luke’s. Nico’s tent was in the row of tents in front of yours, three tents separating the two of you.

You quickly made your way to your own tent and started getting ready for bed. Not being able to wash your face or do you proper skincare routine, you settled for brushing your teeth with a warm bottle of water and applying lotion to your face before crawling into your make-shift bed for the week. You hadn’t packed nearly enough blankets, seeing as you assumed it would be warm inside your tent, but you were chilled to the bone. You kept your sweatshirt on, opting for a pair of sweatpants instead of the skimpy sleeping shorts you brought.

You settled into your bed, switching off the small lantern you had been provided.

You laid there for what felt like ages trying to fall asleep. Every little snap of a twig or rustle of leaves made you scared a bear was about to claw its way through your tent.

You thought you had imagined it at first, assuming the wind was blowing and causing your tent to slightly ruffle in the wind. But when it happened a second time, this time the sound of something fiddling with the zipper of your tent following the ruffling, you were starting to panic.

You sat up, pulling the blanket to your chin as you saw a hand push on the door of your tent, a quiet yelp making its way out of you.

“Shhh, it’s just me, let me in,” you hear the familiar, accented voice of your boyfriend ring out, huffing while walking over and unzipping your tent just enough for him to slip through.

You walk back over to your air mattress, turning on the small lantern, looking at Nico standing in the middle of your tent. He was wearing a tan sherpa fleece with plaid pajama bottoms. He had to hunch over slightly, his height being too tall for your small tent.

“What the hell are you doing in here? You scared the hell out of me, you know that?” you whisper yelled at him, careful to not raise your voice too high as to not wake any of his teammates.

“My tent ripped, can I please share yours?” Nico asks with a smirk on his face.

“Oh, yeah? If your tent ripped then where’s Jesper sleeping, huh?” you raise your eyebrow and cross your arms.

“I just left him to fend for himself. Didn’t exactly want to invite him to sleep in here with us. Never know what he might see,” he walks towards you, placing his arms around your waist and pulling you close to him.

He looks down at you, your position mirroring earlier when this exact tent was being assembled, but you had no fear of anyone seeing you now.

“Hi, Schatz.”

You giggle up at him, unraveling your arms and placing them on his shoulders. “Hi Neeks.”

“I’ve been waiting all day to do this,” he mumbles before bringing his face down to yours.

You lean up on your tip toes to meet his lips, sighing contently into the kiss.

Nico pulls you closer, no space left between your bodies as his sucks your bottom lip into his mouth. You tangle your fingers in his hair, pushing against him into the kiss.

His tongue swipes across your lips, asking for entrance, and who are you to deny his wish? His tongue slips into your mouth, effectively deepening the kiss.

Nico walks you backwards until you plop down onto your air mattress, bringing his knee to rest in-between your legs, his forearms on either side of your head to support his weight.

You tug on his hair slightly, earning a groan in response. He starts grinding his pelvis against your thigh, which was your sign to stop this before it got too out of hand.

You pull back, pushing him up off of you slightly. He looks down at you with blown pupils and swollen lips. “Alright, tiger, slow down. We’re not having sex with several tents full of your entire team a few feet away.”

Nico deflates and brings his forehead to rest against your shoulder. “You couldn’t have told me that before I got a stiffie?”

“Sorry, shouldn’t have let yourself get so worked up. Should’ve known I wasn’t going to go there with this many people around,” you laugh at his whiney tone.

He rolls off of you onto his back, slinging his arm over his eyes.

“What are you doing? Quit being so dramatic,” you roll your eyes, trying to grab his arm and remove it from his face.

“Stop, trying to think of sad puppies to make my boner go away,” he swats your hand off of his arm.

You bust out laughing for the second time tonight, but this time you throw a hand over your mouth to stop the noise. The conversation about puppies in the car on the way here earlier making its way to your mind, making you laugh even harder.

“Okay, I think I’m good now,” Nico finally says, sitting up.

“Good. Don’t even think about getting handsy, either. This,” you gesture between you and Nico, “is not happening tonight. Or any night this week, for that matter.”

“Got it. You don’t want any of my teammates to hear you scream my name while my tongue is ins-“ you slap a hand over Nico’s mouth, not letting him finish that sentence.

His eyes shine with amusement at you, seeing your own wide in surprise. “Can I trust you to take my hand off of your mouth?” you ask him.

Nico shakes his head, but not before he darts his tongue out and licks a stripe up the palm of your hand, causing it to fly off of his mouth.

“Okay, you’re disgusting,” you scold him, wiping you hand on the blanket you’re both sitting on top of.

Nico just laughs at you in response, finding your annoyed expression amusing.

“C’mon, let’s go to bed. I’m already sick of you and the week hasn’t even started yet,” you tell him, pulling the blanket back so you can settle under it.

Nico follows your lead and places himself under the blanket at well, pulling your body close to his.

You lay your head on one end of your pillow while Nico places his on the other end, not having brought his own from his tent. The two of you just lay there facing each other for awhile before you remember to reach over and turn off the lantern once again.

You’re appreciative of the new warmth Nico brings to your bed, finally feeling yourself get sleepy.

“Wait, how are you going to know when to wake up before everyone else and go back to your tent?” you ask him, knowing his phone was in his vehicle, none of the players allowed their devices with them. You and coach were the only ones with phone privileges this week, even though they didn’t even work out here.

“Don’t worry, I will. First time I wake up I’ll sneak out, don’t worry,” he assures you, kissing you on the forehead before pulling your body flush to his, resting his chin on the top of your head.

Neither one of you must have woken up at all during the night, though, because when you wake up the next morning to the screams of “I knew it! I knew they were into each other! I told you so!” from your best friend as he stood inside your tent at the end of your bed with not only Luke, but with half of the team standing outside the wide open door of your tent, you were confused until you felt the weight of a body against yours. You open your eyes to see Nico’s scrunched face, the noise waking him up as well.

You both roll over and open your eyes, noticing your audience.

“I called it! I knew there was something going on here! How long have you two been together?” Jack bombards the two of you with questions despite you having literally just woke up.

“Get the hell out of this tent before I get coach to make everyone run three miles today,” Nico grumbles, his voice gravely from the early hour.

“No way, we need an explanation,” Dawson speaks this time, his expression matching Jack’s pleased one.

“You’ll get your explanation, but for right now, get out. Let us actually wake up without fifty people in our fucking tent. Now go, get out,” Nico pulls you closer to him, hiding your face in his chest and slinging a leg over your own.

“But-“ Jack starts again, but Nico removes an arm from around you and points at the door, “OUT!” he says sternly, his captain voice making an appearance.

The group of men start grumbling, but ultimately leaving your tent, zipping your door back up so you and Nico could have a bit of privacy again.

“Nico, you didn’t wake up,” you say, your voice muffled because of how close he’s holding you to his body.

“Sorry, Schatz. Was sleeping too good, I guess. Always happens when I’m sleeping with you. You’re like my own personal melatonin.”

You chuckle at him, not really mad that everyone found out, just wishing they hadn’t found you asleep together on a tiny air mattress.

“At least the boys know now. Now I don’t have to keep sneaking around at practice. I can stare at your ass loud and proud now,” Nico says, detaching himself from you and rolling over onto his back, rubbing his eyes.

You reach over and hit him in the chest. “This doesn’t give you permission to say innapropriate things to me while we’re at work.”

He rolls his head to look over at you, “Wouldn’t dream of it,” he smiles innocently, causing your to roll your own eyes and sigh at him.

“Hey! You guys better not be having sex in there! I’m implementing a no bone zone when I’m within a hundred feet of you two! Get your asses out here and get to explaining!” you heard Jack shout once again, beating his fist on the side of the tent.

You bring your hands up to cover your face, embarrassment flooding your veins.

“Jack! Suit up, you’re coming with me on a little run,” you hear coach shout, earning a “Shit, Nico this is your fault!” from Jack.

You burst into a fit of giggles.

You can’t help but feel like a weight has been lifted off of your chest, not having to lie to some of your closest friends anymore. You also foresee your week of no time with Nico changing slightly, figuring Jesper will be down a roommate for the remainder of the week.

Nothing, though, not even sharing a tent with Nico, or sneaking off to find open areas to gaze at the stars at night, could make you like camping.

You almost change your mind the night Nico takes you to a clearing, laying a blanket on the soft grass to stare up at the sky before he gifts you a necklace with his initial on it, the engraving on the back echoing the small “I love you” he whispers in your ear as he clasps the jewelry onto your neck.

You almost thought you liked camping then, until you walked back to you tent to find Nico had left it unzipped and a possum had made a home in the corner, hissing at him as you screamed loud enough to wake the whole team.

Yeah, you hate camping.

[yandere-sins]

A Camgirl's Happiness

a/n: To be fair, I know very little about actually streaming or cammodeling, and it's not as easy to read up on, so take my descriptions with a grain of salt. Also, I know that most people doing that job are really into it and I'm very happy for them, but I needed the drama for the story, hope you can understand! I hope you guys enjoy it regardless, it was fun to write!

Warnings: Yandere, Sexual Content (Reader is a camgirl, mentioning of stripping, fulfilling sexual favors for viewers), Fem!Reader, Life struggles (Debts, Mental health problems), Mention of stalking, Obsessive Behavior

You knew exactly what you were doing, pulling your legs up on your chair, squeezing your breasts just a bit more prominently towards the camera.

Ding! Ding! Ding!

"Hi SweetsMaster! Longtime no read! We're just talking today, but I'm so glad you made it to the stream!"

Ding! Ding!

Smiling, you watched the crushing waves of messages, your fanbase as active as ever as they flooded you with their adoration. Even when you had an image to uphold, you couldn't help but be pampered by their compliments, giggling and telling them to stop calling you adorable and their "dream girl".

Still, you played along to their fantasies, hid your face behind your palm coyly, and kept them believing that you were this cute internet star they loved so much. Life was hard, but getting an end to your means barely needed more than an hour or two talking about all the cute things you'd do if you had one of these lonely, unhappy people behind the screen as your partner. You didn't complain that they invested their savings into spending time with you instead of therapy.

Not like you ever considered going to therapy yourself, too ashamed of the truths you'd have to share.

You sighed inwardly, forcing yourself to smile a bit more convincingly at the camera as you took a sip of water, letting some drops fall into your cleavage. "Oopsie!" you giggled, forced to appear bashful, hoping no one clipped that. But what were you thinking? Of course, they did.

"Stop that, guys! How embarrassing! People will think I can't even drink!"

Sometimes you didn't recognize your own voice as you put on a show. The pitch was too high, your words made you cringe. As if you were in a sketch, rather than a life performance. You quickly wiped away the droplets sitting on top of your skin, threatening to run down the curve of your breasts as many of your viewers hoped before continuing to chat with the rapidly growing crowd. Being a camgirl had been fun once—unforced.

When you started doing it, you enjoyed the time with every new follower you got. Some were creeps, but some were genuinely nice people who paid you to do things you enjoyed. You didn't feel strange being yourself back then; people supported you just as you were. Taking off your clothes and doing favors was a fun little side hustle to get you through college. You didn't plan on doing this forever.

But even with your degree, your real job, and all the possibilities you had now, you couldn't stop streaming. You tried countless of times! But every time you said goodbye for good, your life was thrown into chaos, your bills left unpaid. You lost your job, lost your home, lost all the friends that couldn't watch your life being ruined.

And now, you were tired. So, so tired.

You got back on your feet, thanks to streaming. You found a new job, a new home. More and more people joined your shows; they bought you gifts and sent you money. Even if there was no one to share your earnings with, at least you didn't have to worry about your debts anymore. You'd stream after work, on the weekends, vacations. You organized photoshoots and sold your pictures and merch on the side, even though no one ever wanted to get hired by you to help with all the packaging and work it took.

> you're nothing like you were when you first started

Someone typed in chat, and your fake voice began to crack as you read it out loud. Quickly, you composed yourself, but it stung.

"Yeah, well, aren't we all someone different than, let's say, three years ago? I've grown a lot as a person since I first started! And thanks to you guys, I was able to afford better equipment, too!"

Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!

You laughed at the incoming donations, forming a heart with your hands as you thanked your patrons. "That's going to be a new mic soon!"

> that's not what i meant

The same person from before wrote into the chat, their name—DarlingLover—highlighted in baby pink, revealing they were a superfan. You couldn't ignore them, even though you wished nothing more than for this conversation to end.

> you looked much happier back then

"That's not true!" you chimed up, using all your strength to press down the tears you felt shooting into your eyes. It was bittersweet to be seen in this industry. To not be objectified and idolized, but to have someone truly notice the person behind the on-camera persona.

"I love hanging out with you guys! I made so many new friends, and I'm grateful for all the support and love you guys have shown me! I would never have had the chance otherwise!"

Blowing some kisses towards the camera, your donations went wild, reassuring you that your cover hadn't been blown. You had to keep yourself together, you couldn't risk one perceptive fan to showcase how miserable you were. But perhaps you had to take it as a sign. A sign that it was enough for today. You needed to eat something, and the clock on your monitor—10:47 pm—reminded you that you skipped dinner long enough. And once you had some substance, you'd need the five hours of sleep before you'd have to drag yourself out of bed and to your real work.

"Okay, guys, that's it for tonight! Thank you all for joining our talking stream! I hope you had as much fun as I did!"

Slipping your hand beneath the spaghetti strap of your tank, you pushed it off your shoulder teasingly. "And just as a little reminder," you mumbled seductively, winking at your audience. "Join us tomorrow for a very fun night!"

Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!

You grinned cheekily, waving at the people and blowing them a few more kisses while the donations kept pinging in. Just two more clicks and you had closed the stream, watching it on your second monitor to see if your 'stream ended' notice got displayed properly. The animation had been damn expensive, and you wanted to use it to its fullest until it would be too outdated that you needed a new one.

Watching it for a while, you noticed that amongst the countless messages notifying you that someone left the stream, a few people still had a very eager conversation even after it ended. Immediately, the baby pink name of the superfan who had chatted with you before stood out, the user vehemently defending their standpoint against some newer fans. You clicked their names and checked them out, seeing the varying times from a few months to a few days of subscription to you, as well as the very sparse donation they made.

> i've been here longer, i'd know if she was truly happy

DarlingLover wrote, and you gulped, feeling the anxiety brewing inside your stomach. You couldn't believe they'd go out of their way to try and pull others on their side. Were they trying to ruin your career on purpose?

>> what an idiot lol >> srsly she wouldn't do it if she didn't want to >> yeah what the hell lol

A sigh of relief escaped you, seeing how the others didn't believe DarlingLover. Once again, your reputation was upheld even if it might cost you this superfan. It was expected in this industry to lose and gain followers. Some could withstand changes with their devotion, and others couldn't. You watched as the number of current visitors to your stream continued to drop relentlessly, the sight calming your mind.

You should have gotten up and made dinner, hit the hay before you could pity yourself any more than you had all evening. Your mood was already down the drain, but you were too exhausted to get up, thinking of just dropping into bed and sleeping until morning instead of doing anything else. You couldn't afford to not care for yourself, but it all felt so meaningless.

> Darling, you there?

A stray message popping up in chat caught your attention. You had three more visitors. Two must have just left it open on the side, but the third one was still chatting. With who? you wondered, waiting for someone to respond. But no one answered, DarlingLover, and a whole minute passed by.

> if you read this, can you message me privately? i want to book a private session

You inhaled deeply.

"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck," you groaned, letting your head fall back against the gaming chair you had bought for your desktop setup. Pink and cute and so expensive. Private Sessions were the only reason you could afford a 500$ chair in the first place. But you really, really didn't want to. Really didn't want to entertain someone who had ruined your evening enough.

Click.

< Hi! :) You wanted a private session? Thank you so much, I look forward to it! Do you have a date in mind? I'll check with my bookings, but I'm sure we can find some time this week!

Yes, you hated yourself. But this user was a superfan, and you never let anyone down before. For the right price, you could do anything—or so you told yourself repeatedly. Trying to make yourself believe you could do it, burned out and exhausted as you were. It was just one more private session; you'd get through it, just like you always had.

> i've noticed how unhappy you are lately. you don't smile like you used to, don't tell us about what is happening in your life. you're like a pretty doll that sits and entertains us out of habit. i hate it. i want the real you back

That again. You scowled at the screen, your stomach grumbling in agreement (and hunger). "What do you even say to that?" you mumbled into the silence surrounding you. It was pitiful that you still lived in the same two-room flat since college, all your money going into debt and equipment rather than buying nice things for yourself. It made the dark, quiet loneliness so much more derisive. It was your life, but even so you could do nothing but entertain others to live in a way you didn't want to. You were so lost, your whole life purpose seemingly meaningless as the streams and viewers demanded more and more from you.

< I'm sorry you feel that way! :( I'm always trying my best to be myself and kind. I hope it didn't seem like I'm just faking it for the others! Please give me a chance to prove that I'm still me, and I'll do my best to meet your expectations!

Tears stung in your eyes as you typed out the words. You didn't want to grovel or apologize for how the world had ruined you. You couldn't push the blame on everyone else forever, but you truly felt wronged by your own life. Apologizing for being forced into a role you didn't want to have was way worse than when you made an actual mistake, but if you wanted to keep up the image, it was what you had to do.

> it's okay. i know you work so hard, i'm so proud of you for that

Your supporter's sudden shift in attitude made you lean back in your chair, your breath escaping you as you felt the tension being lifted. Perhaps he wasn't as weird as you assumed by his insistence on ruining the little composure you had in your stream. Maybe he was truly just concerned for you.

> that's why i'm going to help you!

Raising an eyebrow, you couldn't help but cringe. Nothing good ever came from someone saying they would "help" you. They were merely justifying themselves for wanting something unhinged from you, mostly something you weren't comfortable with. You relented to them in the past, but did you really have to put up with it still?

< Thank you so much for giving me a chance! ♥ Have you decided on a day then for our session?

> tomorrow night, 8pm, hotel loveline. i'll book the room, just mention my name to the receptionist, and they'll give you a key

You felt all goodwill shatter into a million pieces as you read the line. Bringing your hands to your face, you rubbed over the wrinkles and tension you held in the grimace of an expression you were making, wishing you could just drop the conversation and go to bed. It wasn't the first time someone asked to meet up personally. You had never done it before and wouldn't break your boundary for that guy now.

< I'm so sorry, but I don't do personal meet-ups! If you want a private cam session, please let me know, and I will arrange it! :)

"Please, god, let him get the hint," you prayed under your breath, but you should have known better. He was a persistent one.

> i'll make sure you gain thrice the followers than you do in one month just from our collaboration. surely people will send lots of donations, too. the only thing i want is you, natural, real. mine for the night

"Flattery will get you nowhere, Mister," you grumbled, slowly getting angry at this guy. Why did he lie through his teeth? How in the world would someone get you thrice the subscribers from a private session? Why make big promises that were impossible to keep? And he was paying for it, so there would be no donations for you. But even so, with your teeth grinding in frustration, you typed out the nicest rejection you possibly could.

< Sorry, but I'm really not comfortable with personal meet-ups! And charging you for a whole night also makes me feel bad; my rates aren't cheap, after all. It wouldn't be fair to you. Let me know if you are still interested in a cam session, I'll give you a discount since you've been a fan for so long! :) ♥

There was an eery silence in the chatroom, and you glimpsed towards the bathroom, wondering if you had time to get ready for bed until he replied. Ultimately, you decided to wait it out, just to be polite, while you scolded yourself for offering a discount. This interaction alone should have warranted an extra charge on top of your regular rates.

> you like your current day job, don't you?

This statement caught you off-guard. You hadn't spoken much about your new employment on stream, not wanting to bore your viewers with such trivial things when they were there to be entertained.

> wouldn't you be sad if you were fired again?

"What do you mean?" you typed back, the confusion growing.

> i take good care of my darling, and you'll enjoy what i have prepared for you. if you can no longer pretend to be happy, i will help you find that happiness again, help you choose the right path

< you scare me

You typed the words before thinking them through. This was the real you, not the persona he knew and wanted to see, and she just messed up big time.

< I'm sorry, I meant to say your comments can be interpreted weirdly, and it's a little scary to read them right now. I'd still be up for the cam session if you're interested, though?

Anything, you thought, anything to stop him from saying more weird shit.

Does he... does he know you? You pondered the thought for a while. Trying to find a weird interaction you might have had before in your real life. One where someone spoke to you like he did. But you couldn't recall it. How did you know about your job though? Was he perhaps a colleague? But even they knew very little of you, and definitely not about your other job.

"Do I know you?" you asked when he didn't reply anytime quick.

Immediately, you regretted showing vulnerability in front of this stranger. From the moment he joined your stream, DarlingLover had seen through your charades, the online persona you had kept up so carefully. They were laying you bare in an uncomfortable, personal way. You've always been so careful with information about your personal life, keeping all your stories vague and unidentifiable, never naming brands of the stores you visited, or talking about the companies you were part of. How did he know where you lived and about your work?

You wished he'd just stop and disappear to where he came from.

> not yet :)   > but you will get to know me—all of me—when we see each other tomorrow. i'll make you smile again, i'll make you happy. you'll be my darling star again, just like before! my reason to live, my beloved. i can't wait for tomorrow, see you soon!

DarlingLover left the chat.

You stared at the message for a while, perplexed and dumbfounded as you tried to make sense of it. You replayed the interaction over and over but could find no logic or reason behind it. You didn't know this guy, he didn't know you. At least, not personally. But he did know more about you than any of your subscribers should.

Part of you hated him, but the rest of you was scared. Scared of what would happen if you scorned him, the havoc he'd unleash on your life. You were scared of the embarrassment he could cause you if he revealed your secret sidehustle to your work, feared how the opinion of you would change now that you finally found work that you liked and coworkers that you could have fun with. You were finally one leg into having a normal life, only for some stranger on the internet to come and ruin it again. It made you mad and drove you downright crazy.

Clicking his username over and over, it stated he was offline. You couldn't open a new chat again, couldn't scream at him how you weren't going to do that! How you wouldn't meet him for real because he could very well be a psycho or murderer! Surely, he'd not give you back the time you lost streaming, the friends you pushed away to earn money, or your happiness in exchange for success!

"What do I do?" you sighed, rubbing your face once more. You were so tired, you had to go to bed. Soon, you'd have to get up, get to work, and decide whether you wanted to attend the meet-up.

Wait.

Why was that even a decision?

Of course, you wouldn't go! He couldn't force you! He couldn't—

Did you really have a choice?

Flopping into your bed, you groaned. In a fit of anger, you punched your fists into the mattress a few times before the strength left you. Of course, it was your choice. You had started over before. If the worst came to fruition, you'd just do it again. Nothing was lost. You could do it! You could refuse the offer and live a happy life away from streaming and the judgment of other people! It would be hard. So very hard. But you could do it!

Sleep overtook you before you could prepare yourself for bed. You didn't hear the ping of a chat message. All your body had left in it was to sleep away the exhaustion, even if it meant knocking you out for good and without having an alarm set for the next morning. Big decisions would have to be made the next day, but you were asleep, unaware of the weight resting on your shoulders.

And you didn't notice the red light on your webcam, saying it was still on even though your screen had long closed down.

< sleep well, darling :) ♥

His lips curled into a wicked, lovestruck grin as he moved the window with the video live feed of your bedroom to the second monitor. Finally. Finally, he'd get to meet you. His idol, his darling, his beloved streamer. He adored and worshipped you since the day you started. Watched every one of your streams since the day you joined his life.

Without you, his channel wouldn't exist. People wouldn't adore him, wouldn't watch him. The masses of fans enjoying his lengthy cock-stroking sessions, buying his ASMR audios to masturbate to—they all wouldn't exist without you. Even when he was down when he just started, seeing you smile and do your best for the few followers you had was what made him continue working hard for you.

And now that he had long surpassed you, it was time he gave back the gratitude he felt towards you.

The thought alone of meeting you was getting his cock rock hard, ready to burst. He wasn't even sure if he could look into your eyes without cumming instantly like a pathetic loser. But he wouldn't mind being a loser again if it meant he got to meet you.

"I love her streams," he hummed blissfully, closing the connection to your stream as he palmed himself over his sweatpants. Thanks to your lovely end of stream announcement, showing all your best moments, no one even noticed he'd be off chatting with you. "She's my favorite streamer ever."

Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!

Donations went off as he pulled down the waistband, revealing the girthy mass that his followers loved so much. He'd been so ashamed as a teenager for having this monster of a cock, but on the internet, he found solace. People loved imagining riding him, giving him BJs, the whole nine yards, but he saved himself. For you. You'd be the first, and if he did his job well, you'd be his last.

"Before we get to the main part of tonight," he teased, gripping his length in his hand, squeezing and caressing it for the whole community to see. Head rolling back, he imagined your warmth spread around him, his cock pulsing eagerly as he wished to know what it would feel like to pop the tip into your tight pussy.

Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!

He grinned. They loved him so much. Everyone loved the former loser now turned into a hot, sexy internet sensation. And you would, too. Very soon.

"I want to announce that we're going to have the collaboration of the year right here, on this channel, tomorrow. Starting at 8:30pm! Make sure you're here to witness it, Darling."

Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!

[truthandadare]

S2’s Mistreatment of Zaun’s Independence

Season 2 was a mess; rushed, badly paced, weakly written. A show once rich with discussions of systematic oppression, brutality, and the dangers of scientific exploration felt reduced to a good vs. evil backdoor pilot (s). Breathtakingly animated yes, and there were still moments I enjoyed and forgave—but we can enjoy groundbreaking artistry while also being critical of its flaws, especially when those flaws include social issues.

Paint the Town Blue: Enforcer Violence

Season 2 we’re meant to feel bittersweet if a little triumphant when Vi dons the uniform of an Enforcer. She remains complacent as Cait uses weapons of torture on the people of the Undercity. Vi sheds her uniform not because of any ethical disagreement over the actions of oppressors but because of the desolation of a love affair. An identity shift so vast it left her feeling morally anemic.

In the final act, much like Vi, Zaunites button their new Enforcer uniforms for “the greater good”. The tone of the hand full of Zaunites crossing the bridge to join the fight against Noxus was one of heroism, of martyrdom.

Season 1 gifted us a nuanced theme of systematic oppression and cycles of brutality among enforcers. This is an unsubtle mirror of our world’s history of police violence, and as an American seeing the topic explored so vividly was a gut punch in all the right ways. Season 2 left me puzzled….did we just want to see Vi in her predestined fate as an Enforcer? Yikes!

Simplifying Silco

As much as I could gladly spend an evening with the pretty flashback, AU, and dream images of Silco, there is no escaping the mischaracterization and simplification of his character, specially as a passionate revolutionary.

Finding Vander’s letter would have made no difference. Just as an apology from Piltover would have never been enough to warrant forgiveness. He and Zaun weave together so easily in my mind. It’s easier to imagine them defanged, a “good guy” left heartbroken who just needed to let it go or else become a drug invested wasteland.

Its harder to reckon with a the poisoned man, the betrayed man, the man of rebellion and desperation. Season 1, he was a man of moral grays, pride, textured by his willingness for violence and extremes to achieve freedom for Zaun. A man who, beyond his own tragedies, knew the complexity of blame.

Violence is a cycle…yes, but by simplifying cycles of violence and placing sole blame to those unable to walk away is reckless. Cycles of violence are often birthed from subjugation, and they fester and grow as persecutors convince victims that they are the ones to blame.

The Nation of Zaun

Of all its failures, what I find the most difficult to swallow is the mistreatment of Zaun’s *not* independence and the message of forgiveness above all else.

Sevika, Councilor Sevika, is voiceless in the last Act. Not simply in her lack of lines, but in the complete mishandling of what she stands for, who she stands for. Zaun is left with one, rather reluctant and lonely Councilor at a table that was never built for her. She will remain voiceless, drowned out by the voices of those who see her fighting against Ambessa as a testament to her being “one of the good ones” as “forgiving”.

We are not meant to forgive our oppressors. Stuck beneath the boot we do not thank them for allowing us a gasp of air. Such a message in widely distributed media in a time when fascism has its head raised high, is dangerous. Yes, it’s a show based on League of Legends, but it’s also art. Art is transcendent, it reflects our world and our truths. It has power.

Instead of using this power, Arcane Season 2 had a sincere disinterest in revolution. Nuance cast to the wind to be replaced with elementary concepts of good victorious. A watered-down hoo-rah.

My hope is that this fumbling will start more conversations about the importance of thoughtful storytelling in our modern media. Continue to have those hard discussions.

[honeytonedhottie]

starting ur fitness girlie era⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🌷

starting ur fitness girlie era is actually super easy! its consistency and discipline where most ppl struggle. i hope this post can help make the sustenance of ur fitness girlie era super easy and fun + some fun working out resources to start ✨

FOR CLARITY ;

when starting anything, the most important thing, although cliche is starting from a place of love rather then hate. it feels better and is more sustainable in the long run.

be clear on your goals for ur fitness girlie era. is this something that u wanna maintain in ur day to day life for general health? do you wanna gain/lose some weight? do you just wanna be stronger?

knowing what ur trying to achieve makes finding workouts that target your goal specifically more easy (the more specific the better)

WHERE DOES NUTRITION COME INTO PLAY ;

you should be fueling ur body properly in order for ur body to function well when ur in ur fitness girlie era. if ur goal for example is to gain weight but u notice that u have a habit to eat very little, make a log.

WIEIAD LOG (NUTRITION CONTINUED) ;

i started a what i eat in a day log for a couple reasons. one bcuz i love lists and documenting things about myself, and two bcuz i wanted to make sure that i was eating well and eating good quality foods. bcuz i notice that when i eat well -> i feel well.

eat to fuel your body, dont eat just to eat

include fresh foods

make sure that you eat healthy portions (calling four almonds a meal is NOT healthy, and calling six pizza pies a meal is NOT healthy)

overall just be mindful of what u decide to fuel your body with. an easy drink that helps to be mindful with what u fuel ur body with is with SMOOTHIES.

im so sick of ppl sleeping on smoothies cuz if u dont like to directly eat vegetables or if u want an easy way to intake fresh fruits and veggies smoothies are the way to GO.

ROMANTICIZATION ;

the fun part of the whole journey, romanticization. made a pinterest board for ur fitness journey aesthetic and make it super pretty. invest in cute workout clothes to motivate urself to workout.

formulate a playlist for ur workout, something that gives u energy and motivates you. find a workout class or a youtube channel that you love. dont make working out BORING. get a workout buddy, make some video diary entries about working out/ur workout for the day.

make a blog that records whatever workout that u did. find fun ways to work out, like dancing or going on hot girl walks. create an atmosphere where u can work out and treat the time that u spend working out as a time to nurture and nourish your body.

PATIENCE AND PERSISTENCE ;

motivation isnt going to get u through a sustainable fitness girl journey, motivation can only get you so far. its DISCIPLINE that gets you the results that you want and consistency.

be patient with yourself even if u fall off ur routine and grind, ur only human so let yourself live. as long as you dont make falling off a habit, you'll be okay.

make sure that u emphasize the mind -> body connection bcuz thats super important. working out is not just about working up a sweat; it's about connecting with your body and embracing the mind-body connection.

FUN AND EFFECTIVE WAYS TO WORKOUT ;

le sserafim workout - i've done the le sserafim workout once or twice and it absolutely destroyed me 💀 but in a good way. its challenging but its also rly effective so i recommend.

dancing - if ur into dancing, find a way of dancing that u enjoy to do. some examples include ; ballet, kpop dances, jazz etc

join a sport - join a sport with a friend to make it more fun! but theres lots of different sports that u can play and not only is it good for ur health, but its also super fun

[hallietblr]

Omg! I love your writing! You write Conrad so perfectly. Can I please request one with Conrad Fisher where the reader and Conrad are best friends but everyone knows that they love each other because they’re always touchy and affectionate with each other. They even have cute nicknames for each other and everyone else just wants them to get together already. Your blog is amazing ❤️✨

orange bikini, the marina, and ray bands | c.fisher x reader

a/n: thank you so much for the request love! i had a lot of fun writing it, i hope you enjoy <3

warnings: fluff

—

summers were always unforgettable. maybe because you got to spend every moment of it with your best friends. as a local in cousins, you watched different families come and go every summer — only a few of them being regular summer visitors. for example, the fisher and conklin families.

susannah fisher was such a bright light to the lives of the locals, bringing charity events to cousins every summer along with invested a lot of money into the country club. as for her sons, they were just like her. both conrad and jeremiah were bundles of sunshine, like a warm hug, or maybe a refreshing glass of lemonade on a hot summers day.

i had immediately bonded with conrad when i first met him when i was eight and he was ten. we met at the beach and instantly clicked. i soon was introduced to his younger brother, jeremiah, and two family friends, belly and steven. although i spent just as much time with the rest of them as i did with conrad, somehow him and i were always the closest.

despite the small age gap between us, we were like two peas in a pod.

i always looked forward to june since it indicated the start of summer, when my best friends return back to their summer home. i do have close friends here at cousins who are also locals, but the conklin and fisher siblings bring a new sort of fun to my life.

now that i’m sixteen, i stand at the marina dock, working alongside my friend cam. we both got internships with the marine biology department for the summer. i was laughing as cameron shook his brunette curls dry from water from the dive we just came back from. the droplets of water landing on me and my orange bikini.

“cameron!” i squeal, pushing him away, “i swear to god i’ll throw you off this deck if you continue to shower me”

he laughs as he steals my beach towel to dry himself, “you know you love it.”

i roll my eyes before they land on a very familiar red jeep wrangler that parks by the dock. i lift my ray bands off the bridge of my nose and place them on top of my head, i squint harder to see if it was who i thought it was. as the driver door opens, my favourite 6’2 dirty blonde boy steps out — conrad fisher.

he sees me staring at him while standing in just my bikini before a large smile paints across his face. i don’t even notice jeremiah stepping out from the passenger seat as i start running sprinting towards conrad.

he meets me halfway, where the dock began. “oh my god!” i exclaim as i jump into his muscular football player arms. my arms wrap around his neck and legs around his waist as i hug him tightly. he smells like sea salt, coconut sunscreen, and a hint of weed.

conrad has his arms holding my torso as he spins us in circles, “hey beautiful, did you miss me?”

“more than anything” i tell him, lifting my head from the crook of his neck, “you know, nine months is too long to be away from you”

“you say that every year, sunshine” he chuckles, carefully placing me back onto my birkenstock covered feet. his green eyes flicker from my sunkissed face to my chest for a split second.

i feel myself blush at it. he’s grown up a lot since i last saw him in august. his shoulders are broader, his biceps are larger, and his hair is longer. i smile sweetly at him, “because it never changes.”

“alright that’s enough from you two lovebirds. you look great in orange, y/n!” jeremiah compliments me as he pulls me into a squeeze hug, “how are you?”

i hug him tightly, “i’m doing great! cameron and i have been busy since school ended with this marine biology internship — but we get to be by the ocean all day so i’m not complaining!”

jeremiah grind his infamous smile, “sounds like fun! you know, steven and i are working at the country club this summer. time to make some bank!”

i giggle before pulling the brothers into a group hug, “ugh, i’m so happy you guys are finally back! when are belly and steven coming?”

“tomorrow afternoon,” conrad says as we all pull apart. i motion them to follow me down to the dock,

“i want you guys to meet one of my best friends,” i explain as cameron looks up at us and offers a smile, “this is cam, well, cameron. he just moved here last september and we’ve been hanging out since. you know, he’s just as interested in marine biology as i am!”

little did i know, cameron having his arm hanging around my neck ignited a small spark in conrad’s stomach at the sight. conrad gives a weak smile, meanwhile jeremiah daps cam up,

“what’s good, cam cameron! i’m jeremiah” he laughs, “you know, you’re making my brother conrad jealous right now. you have your hands on his future wife”

cam’s eyes go huge, “oh shit! are you two dating? y/n, you never told me you have a boyfriend! that’s my bad, bro.” he quickly apologizes and removes his arm from my shoulders.

“fuck off, jere” conrad says to his younger brother.

i smack jeremiah’s shoulder playfully, “i do not have a boyfriend, i don’t know why jere is making up bull”

“you mind as well be married at this point, considering the amount of hours you two spend texting each other.” jeremiah shrugs as he picks up my colourful printed backpack, “let’s head back to our place, cam you can come too”

cam thanks jeremiah but turns down the offer due to being needed back at his home. the two exchange instagrams so they can make plans later in the summer. with that, cameron runs off to his bike and waves us all goodbye.

conrad and my eyes meet and i can’t help but feel my heart rate pick up at the eye contact. i know i’ve always thought conrad was cute and was more drawn to him, but this felt a lot more different compared to the previous summers together.

i called shotgun as we all raced back to the wrangler, jeremiah pouting as he sits in the back seats. i plug my phone in for aux and start playing my new summer playlist that i just started making.

what once was by hers starts playing loudly from the car stereo as the windows are down and rooftop of the jeep was removed. the sweet summer breeze flowing through the car and our hairs as we all sing our hearts out. conrad has a hand on my knee, massaging it with his thumb while he drives. i try to surprise the butterflies and the heat rising to my cheeks at his actions.

as he parks the car at the familiar white summer home, we all jump out as conrad exclaims to race to the kitchen. he claims that whoever is last is getting thrown into the pool first.

the two fisher boys had an unfair advantage because of their longer legs, thus being able to take longer strides. we make it into the kitchen where susannah stands, smiling her golden smile,

“y/n! sweetheart, look at you!” she coos, pulling me into a warm embrace. she smells like roses and fresh laundry as i hold her tightly, she whispers into my ear, “so when are you and connie making it official? i know how you two feel about each other and he speaks of you so often at home.”

i flush at her comment but smile on response, “it’s so good to see you, susannah.”

she caresses my cheek, “i swear, you get more and more gorgeous every time i see you. plus, that orange bikini top looks absolutely fabulous on you.”

“i look just the same as last summer,” i laugh, “and the summers before that.”

she rolls her eyes playfully, “oh sweetie, don’t brush off my compliments. i mean it, you are glowing! don’t you think, connie?” she asks, looking over at her older son who already has a slight blush across his cheeks.

he smiles, “yeah, yeah you do.”

jeremiah grabs my wrist and pulls me away from his mom, “stop trying to avoid you fate, y/n! time to get thrown into the pool!” he grins, tugging me towards the sliding glass doors.

i squeal as the two both have grips on my arms as i try my best to free myself, “oh, come on! at least let me take off my shorts and ray bands!”

they surprisingly allow me to do so, before conrad grabs my wrists and jeremiah grabs my ankles.

“1…” they count together, starting to swing me back and forth by the edge of the pool.

“2…” i squeeze my eyes shut, preparing myself for the cold pool water.

“3!”

i scream as i’m thrown into the air before splashing into the chlorine water. i swim to the surface of the water with a cheeky idea in mind, i grab a hold of my left ankle and distort my facial feature in discomfort,

“shit!” i cry out, taking a breath from being under water for a moment too long.

conrad immediately straightens up at the sight, “baby, what happened? are you okay?” he panics.

“y/n, are you good?” jeremiah asks, the two having obvious concern laced in their facial expressions.

i shake my head and fake a sob, “i think i sprained my ankle at the bottom of the pool.”

in seconds, conrad removes his burgundy tee shirt in one swift movement before diving into the water. his strong arms lifting me and bringing my legs to wrap around his waist, “fuck, i’m so sorry, pretty girl.” he breathes out, planting two kisses on my forehead, “let me see it.”

he swims us over to the edge of the pool where jeremiah once stood before he left to grab towels and an ice pack. conrad lifts me up effortlessly onto the pool side, beginning to inspect my left ankle,

“wait,” he pauses, noticing no swelling nor bruising.

i couldn’t hold in for much longer before i broke into laughter, “i’m sorry! you should’ve seen the look on your pretty face!”

his worry drops before splashing me with water, “you’re so lucky that i love you.”

i stop laughing and wipe my face dry from water before looking at him, “w- what?”

conrad’s eyes widen at the accidentally confession, “i mean… as a friend of course!”

my heart feels a slight tug at the correction but i smile weakly. why would he love me in the way that i feel towards him? i awkwardly laugh before kicking water back at him, and jumping back into the pool.

“ok good, i got worried for a second” i lie, swimming towards him. his hands subconsciously hold onto the curves of my hips, his green eyes looking deep into mine.

i known him for what feels like forever and i can read him like an open book, well typically. but right now, his expression is unreadable. i’m distracted by him, his hands on me, the explosion of butterflies in my gut, and my heart beating loudly in my ears.

his hand cups my cheek, both of our eyes fluttering close as he pulls me closer to his face. i can feel the slight minty feeling of his breath on my lips before,

“i got the ice!” jeremiah yells, with a loud slam of the glass door which caused conrad and i to jump away from each other.

we almost kissed.

i cant even look at my best friend right now, embarrassed with the bright pink colour of my cheeks as i swim over to jeremiah, “thanks” i say quietly, pretending to ice my ankle.

i watch conrad get out of the pool and dismiss himself to his room,

“did something happen?” jeremiah asks, completely lost and confused of the situation.

[steddiealltheway]

It's a pretty dead day for Family Video with no customers for hours besides Eddie who stays around, "For your entertainment," he explains to Steve when he asks why he's still there. It's not that Steve minds, in fact, he really enjoys his company... like... really enjoys it.

Robin teases him about his crush, but Steve refuses to acknowledge it because he knows Robin might accidentally blab about it to Eddie. So he settles for casually brushing off the lighthearted teasing about his hopeless crush.

Sure, Eddie seems to flirt with him and spends a great deal of his time around him, but Steve isn't one hundred percent certain that he's into him. In fact, he seems to act the same way around Nancy who he is currently talking about.

A groan from Robin cuts Eddie off and has Steve confusedly looking at her. "Tell me how to win over Nancy!"

It comes to Steve as a bit of a shock, not the crush but the cry for help to not only him but Eddie, too.

Eddie weirdly doesn't seem as shocked though, and he even seems... excited.

"Buy her roses?" Steve suggests, but Eddie immediately scoffs.

"Nancy Wheeler, does not want roses. She wants someone who will listen to her. Try asking her about what she's writing for the paper and really stay invested," Eddie says.

Robin looks at him for a moment with narrowed eyes but nods. "That's... actually good advice. Thank you."

Steve pauses and considers it. It really is good advice. Great advice even. It's almost as if that's what Eddie wants...

"Surprised?" Eddie asks and Steve glances up at him from across the counter. "You look like you're deep in thought wondering how I thought of something like that," Eddie says as if he's about to let him in on some secret.

But before Steve can think about what it could be he replies, "No, I was just... wondering if you wanted to tell me about your most recent campaign. Dustin told me a little about what you have so far, so...fill me in on the rest?"

Steve hears Robin scoff behind him in disbelief as Eddie's jaw slightly drops and he stares at him. "You're serious?"

Steve nods in response and smiles.

"Okay, Harrington, but strap in and prepare to get your mind blown..." Eddie says and launches into the details. Steve is surprised when he genuinely gets taken by the story and starts asking him questions. But then he gets a bit distracted by the way Eddie keeps leaning into him with wide eyes gleaming with joy and an even wider smile.

Steve sincerely hopes that Robin keeps asking for advice because it's going to come in handy as he tries to win over Eddie.

-:-:-:-:-:-

"Eddie, could you possibly give me more of your wooing wisdom?" Robin asks a few days later.

Steve's almost surprised since the first piece of advice had gone so well it scored Robin a full day of hanging out and even a drop-in visit at Family Video by Nancy herself. But Eddie nonetheless is already leaning over the counter and saying, "She would love it if you complimented her. Just little things like her outfits, her hair, her writing especially though. She seems like a sucker for words of affirmation."

His response is so quick that Steve wonders how much Eddie craves those words of affirmation. "Speaking of hair, have I ever told you how great yours looks?" Steve asks Eddie.

Robin cackles as Eddie's eyes go a bit wide. "Uh, no, but thank you, Stevie."

Throughout the rest of the shift, Steve subtly throws Eddie little compliments such as how he looks in his infamous vest, his taste in movies, and even goes as far as complimenting how great he is with the kids. It makes the tips of his ears and the apples of his cheek a little pink, and that's exactly the reaction Steve was hoping for.

He wonders what else Eddie has up his sleeve.

-:-:-:-:-:-

After a few more days filled with compliments, lots of intentional listening, and quite a few visits from Nancy, Eddie finally hops over the counter and corners Robin. She continues to watch Nancy in the back of the store as she reads over what must be very interesting descriptions of movies because she's been in the store for quite a long time.

Steve keeps teasing Robin about it, but she refuses to listen. Maybe Eddie will make her.

"Final piece of advice," Eddie says to Robin quietly enough that Steve has to scoot closer to them to eavesdrop. "Just ask her out. She's over there waiting for you to make a move. Just... trust me, okay? If it goes wrong you can punch me in the face, chop off my hair, and even go after my guitar."

Steve's eyebrows raise. Eddie must be very confident in his advice.

Robin seems to actually listen as she carefully and very slowly makes her way toward Nancy.

Just ask her out... So, Steve should just... ask Eddie out. Simple.

"Hey, Edd-"

"I've been wa-"

The two glance at each other and smile. "Go ahead," Steve says and looks back toward Robin.

"I've been waiting to tell you this. I've gotten all those tips directly from Nancy. I made Robin her walking kryptonite," Eddie says excitedly.

Nancy's walking kryptonite. Not Eddie's. Shit.

"What were you saying?" Eddie asks.

Steve shakes his head. "Nothing... I just forgot."

Eddie nods and nudges Steve's shoulder as they watch Robin ramble out something to Nancy who stares at her with furrowed brows. There's a pause as Nancy says something that sounds like, "So a date?"

Robin nervously nods back, and there's a moment that makes Steve hold his breath.

"I'd love to," Nancy says back and Eddie nearly jumps for joy as Steve lets out a deep breath.

Eddie turns back to him and asks, "Are you sure there wasn't something you were going to say?"

Steve nods, and Eddie seems disappointed. He hesitates then turns around as if he's going to scale the counter again.

Steve glances around the basically empty store then reaches out and grabs his wrist. "Wait."

Eddie turns around and looks at him.

"This is so stupid, but I thought all the advice you were giving to Robin... Well, I thought it was what you wanted. So, I've been trying to use it to win you over, but turns out... it wasn't what you wanted. And I'm not sure why I'm admitting this to you, but I just wanted to let you know why I guess I've been so weird the past few days," Steve says and runs a hand through his hair.

Eddie gives him an incredulous look. "You wanted to win me over?"

Steve can feel himself begin to flush as he nods.

A wide smile spread over Eddie's face. "Well lucky for you, flattery works on me, but just asking me out works even better."

Steve takes a moment to process what Eddie means.

"Ask him out, dingus!" Robin says and Steve jumps a bit forgetting she was there.

"Do you want to go out sometime?" Steve asks quickly as he takes Robin's advice.

"Yes, my advice is that we go out tonight after your shift."

Steve laughs, "My advice is that instead of giving advice you just tell me what you want."

"Well, I advise you-"

"Oh my gosh, if either of you says advice one more time I'm letting Nancy use you for target practice," Robin says and Nancy laughs.

Eddie leans closer to Steve and stage whispers, "I think we should advise her to watch her temper."

"Eddie!" Robin says as she scales the counter.

Eddie easily gets away and runs out the front door. "I advise you to pick me up at seven!"

"I'll take your advice!" Steve yells back.

It's worth the lecture Steve gets from Robin for the rest of their shift, but she isn't too mad since Nancy stays (following Steve's advice).

[seraphicsage]

Destiny

A/N this is the longest fic I have written in a longg time! I really hope you enjoy this! I would love any feedback. If you want any short fics based in this universe I would love to do that!! thank you!!

Summary: Reader and Feyd were friends from a young age until she went away to be trained, now she has been chosen to continue his line

My father was a very powerful man, the head of a very powerful house. He was close friends with the Baron and our houses are firm allies, this meant that from a young age I knew the Baron’s nephews and was forced to spend time with them during meetings and diplomatic events. 

Feyd and I are the same age and we got along quite well, having met when we were merely toddlers. The Baron’s eldest nephew, Rabban, was older and cruel. For as long as I can remember he was nasty, pulling on my hair and pushing me over, laughing at my misery. He would call me names and make attempts to humiliate me, but Feyd always enjoyed playing knights and was determined to defend me to his brother, standing in between us and attempting to push Rabban over in retaliation. 

When we were 7, Feyd told me that his uncle had named him as the na-baron, something he was incredibly proud and excited for. He was determined to be the best Baron there had ever been. When he asked if I was going to be the next leader of my house I knew even then that it would not be possible, I imagined I was to be married off to some lord that I hardly knew. Feyd said he would marry me instead so we could be friends forever, it sounded like a much better idea than my parents. 

Feyd was 9 when he killed his mother. When the Baron forced him to kill his mother, telling him he could never be a good leader if he allowed himself to be weak, telling him it was a test to see if he was worthy of his title. When I heard the news from my mother it shocked me. He loved his mother, and he had always been so kind. It made me wary of him the next time I saw him months later, scared. But when we were finally left alone by my parents and the Baron, I asked him why he did it, prompting him to break down and sob in my small arms about how he missed her and had no choice. How she reassured him it was okay as he did it, that she forgave him. I never saw him cry like that again. 

Every visit after that I could see the changes taking place due to the Baron’s cruelty. I saw him hiding bruises and watched as his soft shell became hard as stone as he started finally being able to take his brother in a fight and even began enjoying the fights in a strange way. 

The last time I saw him I was 11, my birthday just before I left to be trained with the Bene Gesserit, as the reverend mother had decided for my parents. I hadn’t been allowed to tell him that I was leaving, especially not why I was leaving, but I had known and had almost wept when he left in the evening. Despite his almost psychotic behaviour, we were still friends and he still defended me from the cruelties surrounding me when he could, including ones he was not aware of at the time.

Now I’m watching him walk into the arena at his coming of age event. I have not spoken to him since I left my home, but my dedication to my training has allowed me to keep updated on his house as I have had to remain informed on current politics and states of affairs. The reverend mother informed me early in my training that I showed a lot of potential in my role in the Bene Gesserit, telling me that if I continued to stay ahead of my studies then I could be chosen for a more important destiny than merely continuing a ‘pointless lord’s line’. That was motivation enough for me to fully invest in learning the Bene Gesserit ways and excelling in my training. I hadn’t expected this to be the destiny she chose, but truthfully I couldn’t help but feel honoured to be chosen for this. 

Despite Jessica’s attempts to ruin the plans of the Bene Gesserit, the reverend mother insisted that Paul Atreides would be taken care of, that my child would be the Kwisatz Haderach. The reverend mother knew of my old friendship with Feyd but she reassured me that she knew I would not let something like that distract from my true mission. 

Seeing Feyd having such an influence on the crowd and begin fighting the prisoners is a thrill in a sick way. He had changed. I knew that would be the case, the rumours surrounding how he had become a brutal and merciless fighter over the years, hearing how his behaviour had become ever more psychotic had made me feel sorry for him at first. The looks that I got from my fellow sisters when the news spread that I would be the one to test him and secure the bloodline, they felt sorry for me. Truthfully, it gave me a power rush. Knowing I was trusted with such an important task, knowing it would be my child with such a strong destiny. 

His performance in the arena is impressive. A small part of me worries when one of the prisoners is clearly not drugged, glancing over at the Baron to see his sinister smile, I couldn’t help but be angry as I knew this must be another sick ‘test’ of his. Instead, I am proud when he wins the battle, an honourable fight where I could easily see the skills he has learnt during my absence. 

It was not hard to find him after the events, I had heard him fighting with his uncle, and heard his uncle’s promise to give him the empire. I stayed out of sight until he had wandered much further away from his uncle’s chambers before allowing myself to be heard by him. It doesn’t take long before he stops walking and I slow my movements down. “Are you lost, witch?” He practically snarls without turning around. 

I can’t help but chuckle, “I was expecting a warmer welcome from you, Feyd.” I stop walking a couple steps away from him and watch him spin around to face me. His eyes wide for a short moment before his face went hard, hiding any emotions. He takes 2 strides towards me and brings a knife up to my throat, I feel his breath warm against my face. I don’t hesitate to meet his eyes, having expected this reaction. “Is this any way to greet an old friend?” 

“We are not children any more. Things have changed since we last saw each other. Clearly that is not exclusive to me.” His eyes trail over my outfit, a clear sign of my involvement in the Bene Gesserit. He seems incredibly unhappy. “Why are you here?” The press of his blade against my neck loosens slightly. 

I hum slightly before pulling away from his grasp and walking away from him, towards the guest room I am staying in. “Now where are you going?” He sounds as exasperated as he used to when we were children and I’d drag him around my home. 

“To my guest rooms.” I keep walking and feel him follow me as I sit on a hard surface and he approaches me. “Kneel.” I use the voice on him and he slowly lowers himself down in front of me. I bring the box level with his hands, and bring the Gom Jabbar to his neck. He meets my eyes as he places his hand inside the box. 

I’m impressed by his lack of reaction, he doesn’t break eye contact with me for a moment. When the test is over I remove Gom Jabbar from threatening him and pull the box away from his hand. “You’ve passed the test.” I keep my voice steady and let my eyes trail down his body. I am surprised as I see an unmistakable bulge in his trousers. I bring my eyes up to meet his eyes again, seeing how heavy they seem to be now. 

I lean down slightly and lift his chin with my hands. I had been prepared to need to convince him to bed me, apparently the pain did that for me. He watches me as I bring my lips close to his, not quite meeting them yet. His breathing stops for a moment, and I take that moment to press my lips firmly against his. He kisses me back, turning it heavy and groaning into my mouth. The kiss turns deeper and presses himself into me. I feel his hands trail up my legs and he grips onto my thighs. He drags my body into him and wraps my legs around his waist, before standing up and bringing me with him with practised ease.

His mouth trails away from mine, kissing along my jaw and down my neck as he moves to the bed, lying me down beneath him. He pulls back for a short moment, holding one of my legs to ensure they stay wrapped around him, and he removes his shirt before swiftly returning to kiss me. 

I bring my hands to gently trail along his back, feeling every movement as he starts to undress me. His lips trail lower as he reveals more skin. His kisses become rougher and he starts sucking on my skin, making my back arch into him and I dig my nails into his back. He groans in response, licking on the spot before moving to form marks all along my collarbones. “Again,” he mutters out as he moves to a new spot. I take a moment to register what he’s said, and another moment to realise what he means. I drag my nails up his back again, gentler than before. I hear him breathe out a deep sigh as he stops his attack on me, resting his forehead against me. “Harder,” he says, then in a quieter voice, “please.” 

I feel an excited pit in my stomach form as he says it, and I let my nails dig further into his skin, dragging it up his back. He lets out another groan and I bring one of my hands close to my face and see the small flecks of blood on the tips of my nails. I can feel that Feyd has become more desperate as he practically tears the clothes off of me, continuing marking down my body as I slowly continue to scratch his back. I enjoy seeing the marks I left as he trails further down between my legs, perhaps too much. 

The whole thing is a blur in my head as we lie in the bed, panting and staring at the ceiling. Honestly, I had not expected to enjoy the act itself, my sisters had warned me that it was usually not enjoyable for them, but Feyd had been very good at bringing me pleasure as well as himself. My body is pressed close to him and his arm is stretched out underneath my shoulders. “I didn’t think I’d ever see you again,” he says into the silence after a while. 

I turn slightly to look at him properly, he doesn’t meet my eyes but I can see a hint of the vulnerability he used to show me when we were young children. “I didn’t exactly have a choice in the matter. The reverend mother told my parents her decision after she had met me, and honestly, it was better than my other option so I couldn’t bring myself to fight it.”

“What was your other option?” He looks at me now, confusion etched onto his face. I smile slightly at his ignorance of the fate of someone like me, I bring my hand up to his cheek, smiling softly at him. 

“My father was not far from arranging a betrothal. I had heard him speaking to my mother about it many times. The lords he was considering,” I cannot meet his eyes for a moment, “it disgusted me even then. Men far older than me, adult men.” I shake myself out of my thoughts, bringing my eyes up to his again. “The reverend mother promised me early in my training that if I continued to exceed expectations then I would not be destined to sire a random heir for a pointless house. I would have done anything to stop myself being married off and turned into some submissive wife. Or worse, a concubine.” 

“Your father was a disgusting man.” His hands brush lightly against my legs, in a comforting touch. “I would have stuck to my word. I could have convinced the Baron to speak to your father about allowing us to marry, they would have both liked the idea of our houses joining.” His softness surprises me. Apparently underneath everything, he has not changed since we were children, at least not towards me. I can’t help my widening smile towards him. 

“Not much has truly changed since we were children has it? You’re still trying to protect me from things you have no power over. I’m safe now.” I look towards my stomach and place a hand over it, I can feel that we’ve been successful in securing the line. This means that as long as the pregnancy is successful, I will be able to dedicate my life to raising him. 

I see his eyes trail from my eyes to where my hand is resting. I see understanding pass over his eyes. “Does that mean you’re leaving again?” He sounds guarded again, like he did when he first saw me again. I let out a sigh as I consider my words. 

“The reverend mother wants him raised in the Bene Gesserit way. He is destined to be the Kwisatz Haderach, and he needs to be trained for it from a young age.” I feel emphatic as his eyes grow sad, I wonder how he can still feel all these things after the cruelty I know his uncle will have inflicted on him over the years. 

He pulls me in close to him, resting his head on my shoulder and I feel his hand ghost my stomach. “I’m not letting them take you again, either of you. Don’t worry, I can protect you this time.” I let him hold me, allowing myself to realise how his uncle has truly affected him over the years. He said it so softly, with so much care, but with his extreme behaviours over the years, it is clear that he truly means it. Even if I did not want to stay with him, it’s clear I don’t have that choice.

tags: @thenatallie

[eamour]

the void craze

as many of you already might now, the "void" state, also called the "i am" state, is a method coined by neville goddard which became popular and famous for its rather unique way of manifesting your desires. just like with every method being put on a pedestal, there are a hand full of problems that come along with it. with this post, i want to help you gain clarity but also consciousness (no pun intended) about your outlook on this method.

problems of obsessing over a state

disregarding your outer reality. you have responsibilities and things to look after in the physical world that — even if you can change and get rid of them — need your attention. you exist in both, 4D and 3D. as long as you are aware of yourself physically, you need to care for yourself.

disregarding your inner reality. by constantly being in a state of waiting and wanting, you keep desiring. you keep occupying a state of mind and refuse to change it — in other words, change your "i am" — and will remain in that state assuming you don't "enter" the void state.

dismissing your feelings and emotions. this point is less about you desiring something but more about your emotional well being. by not fulfilling yourself from within, you are enslaved to your senses and will continue to upset yourself with the 3D, starting to bottle up your emotions.

becoming indifferent to your surroundings. you might start to disregard everything around you and force yourself not to negatively react or acknowledge the outer world.

developing unhealthy habits. some people are likely to isolate themselves, some begin to spend an unhealthy amount of time on the internet (specifically apps like tumblr or youtube), some ruin their sleep schedules to attempt once they are truly sleepy, and so on.

overconsuming information. with people spending a significant amount of time online, it enables the possibility of people taking in more information than they actually need (also causing people to doubt or double-check their knowledge).

overcomplicating the method. now, entering the void is easy. all you do is "enter" a specific state of mind, something you do all the time with many many different states all day long. but people love to think that it's different with the void as it's such an "important" state to occupy (which it is not).

refusing to change from within. as you rely on one method to change your life entirely, you are not willing to take the lead and to "manifest the usual way". you don't want to try any other method, nor make an effort to try something else.

focusing solely on the void. you are convinced that the void will be your saviour and fix all of your problems immediately which is why you see no point in manifesting another way. you are certain that the void is the only way to shift your reality easily, quickly and effortlessly.

trusting only the void. it's easy to give up all efforts to manifest your desires with other methods when you feel that manifesting without the void seems too difficult, hard or too exhausting.

mistrusting other methods. you might also feel like other methods don't work as "good" or "efficiently" as the void method.

putting your life on hold. while many people try to attempt to "enter the void" aka "become pure consciousness" at night or once they get into a sleepy, drowsy state, they tend to fail to care about their lives for several hours throughout the day. they dismiss improving their lives, start losing hope and stop to invest in themselves, as they see no point in "trying" to change anything. they believe that achieving change will only be worth it or purposeful once they do it via the void state.

conditioning your desires. waiting for the best moment to attempt, meaning once you are tired, doesn't mean to condition your desires. it's thinking that you can only attempt around that time that makes you condition your desires.

discrediting your power. since the void is known to change lives drastically, some lean towards ascribing more power to this method compared to themselves.

believing in an external power. some even believe the void is a place that exists outside of them rather than viewing the void as a state of reaching pure consciousness.

doubting your abilities. you can draw this conclusion once you begin to think that a state of mind has more power over you than the person that has the ability to choose and to occupy any state of mind they wish to.

burning out. if you have "failed" to identify with that state of mind, you are very likely to develop beliefs implying things such as being unable to manifest, being out of control and overall giving up on yourself.

advice

i didn't make this post for the solely purpose to scare you off and to persuade you not to try the void method at all. i made this post for you to understand the many many unnecessary thoughts all around this method. these are things that people do or think once they start to make their happiness depend on a method, a state that they are infinitely greater than.

i want to encourage you to try out any method that you are interested in and determined to master. do as you please, regardless of the opinions of other people. but always keep in mind: it's nothing you can't achieve. and remember, just like neville said, the conceiver is ever greater than his conception — meaning, you will always and forever be more powerful than any state of mind you could possibly think of.

with love, ella.

[runnning-outof-time]

omg K congrats on the 3.5k!! that's amazing babes and im so happy for you!! I hope i didn't miss this but if I did please ignore this ask 💕 could you do "are you happy right now?" 8 in 5 (in case i messed up the sentence) with arthur?? maybe a cute fluffy one? or a slight angst? it could go either way so do whatever you want is right for the prompt! I didn't see him with this prompt on the list but if it was lemme know and i can change my prompt. congrats again!! ✨️🎉

Thanks so much for sending this in, Jay @anotherblinder ! I’m sorry it took so long for me to write! I’m happy that I’m able to end this celebration off with some Arthur after not writing him for a bit. I decided to go with fluffy for this one. I hope you like it! Enjoy! :)

I’D LOVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! - YOUR COMMENTS & REBLOGS HELP ME WRITE!

Part of my 3.5k Celebration — find more stories here!

Can’t Think of a Happier Moment

Arthur Shelby x Reader

Warnings: pregnancy

Word Count: 728

Summary: Arthur finally manages to clearly communicate his emotions in the moment where it’s needed most.

Arthur was able to see it in her eyes the second she came to a stop in front of him. She’d asked him to be home when she got back and he made sure of it, not caring if it meant leaving the Garrison before Tommy even got there. His brother would understand. His wife came first.

“Alright, what is it?” he asked, wanting to get right into what she wanted to tell him.

“What is what?” she responded with her own question.

“Why’d ya call me home? Got something to tell me?” he raised his eyebrows.

“Bold of you to assume such a thing, Arthur Shelby,” she couldn’t help but giggle, “maybe I just wanted to spend some time with you.”

Arthur’s eyebrows furrowed in an instant. That surely couldn’t have been the only reason she pulled him away from the Garrison, from business, right? “I love ya, darlin’, and I love spending time with you, but couldn’t that have waited until after I finished what I was doin’ at the Garrison?” he came out and asked, not yet sure if doing so would equate to stepping on a bear trap.

And (Y/N) could have made it into one. But she didn’t. She was too excited at the moment and actually did have some news to share with him. “I was over at Pol’s when I called…” she began. Arthur nodded, showing her that he was listening and that she could continue. “She’d just told me something, and I could have shared it on the phone, but I decided that telling you in person would be better.”

“And what is that?” he asked after a few moments had passed and she hadn’t shared anything else.

“You know that Polly’s got a gift, right?” she started off with another question.

“She’s got many,” he agreed.

“Well she told me something…” At this point, (Y/N) herself wasn’t sure why she was continuing to beat around the bush on this. He was clearly invested in the conversation. Hell, he’d skipped out on his brother because she told him that she had something to tell him. Hanging onto the secret just built up the excitement inside of her even more. She hoped he’d feel the same.

“What’d she tell you, love?”

“She told me that…that you and I…” she paused, taking a deep breath as her smile grew, “we’re gonna have a baby, Arthur.”

At first Arthur just blinked. It took a few moments for the information to settle in; for it to actually click in his mind. And when it did, a tidal wave of words came tumbling out of his mouth. “She said that…she, she thought that, no, she knew that you were…that we’re going to…holy shit, you’re, you’re pregnant, (Y/N).”

“I am,” she nodded, speaking in a soft voice.

“Holy fucking shit,” he breathed, talking to himself more than anything. There was a whole flurry of different emotions coursing through him at the moment. His eyes dropped to the floor for a moment, taking a pause to collect himself before looking up again. His eyes immediately found hers, and he couldn’t help but let a smile form on his face. He tipped his head slightly, his heart hammering in his chest. “Pregnant,” he breathed again.

“Yes,” (Y/N) response came in a similar tone, tears welling up in her eyes. “Are you happy right now?” she just had to ask him, wanting to know if he was feeling the same excitement that she was.

“I can’t think of a happier moment in my life, love,” he wasted no time in telling her, his smile growing. (Y/N) noticed that his eyes were practically twinkling. He held her gaze for a moment before his eyes dropped to her stomach. No bump was present, but he knew that his child was there. “Can I?” he asked her then, his hands inching closer to her frame.

“Yes, Arthur,” she couldn’t help but softly laugh at his hesitance. Her heart swelled with love as he let out a soft chuckle and placed his hands against her stomach, gently caressing it.

“Our baby…” he trailed off, looking back up at her again.

“Our baby,” she affirmed, lifting one of her hands to rest against his neck before she leaned in and pressed her lips to his.

*tags in reblogs so that hopefully they get sent out

MASTERLIST

[willalove75]

Alcina's New Maid Pt. 12 Lady Dimitrescu x Reader

Summary: You and Alcina are becoming closer, something the both of you are happy about. With the good comes the angst, from two phone calls from Heisenberg, one phone call from Mother Miranda and another encounter with Stefana, things take a bit of a nosedive.

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI

Tags: Fluff, angst, canon violence, blood

Notes: Part 12! I've been looking forward to writing this since I started!! This subplot was one of the first ideas I came up with when I was first brainstorming this fic! I hope you all like it💕

Click here for the rest of the series

Things between you and Alcina continued to progress, the two of you spent some more time together rebuilding your relationship and you've been spending more time with the girls as well. Even though you're still not having dinner with them every night, you've been joining them most nights. A few days ago Alcina asked you to join them for breakfast and when you woke up the next morning, you found a note on your nightstand.

Y/n, You had mentioned that there were mornings you would skip breakfast with us just so you can receive a note from me on your tray. It gave me inexplicable joy when I saw that you had kept every letter and to see how much you cherish them. If it's alright with you, I hope you continue to join us for breakfast and in return, I will continue writing you letters in the mornings. The girls miss having you around during meals, as do I. All my love, Alcina

For some reason, this letter meant more to you than the rest of them, even though they were all so special to you. This letter again proved to you that she's been listening, hearing what you've had to say and that she's been taking action. After you put the letter in the drawer with the rest of them, you get up, get yourself ready and head downstairs for breakfast.

As you walk towards the stairs, you can see Alcina just ahead of you, making her way down. She must have heard your heartbeat because as soon as you saw her, she stopped and turned around towards you.

"Good morning." She says with a smile.

"Good morning!"

"How did you sleep last night?"

"Like a rock, how was your night?"

"Uneventful, thankfully. I was able to get some much needed work done."

At this point, you're on the landing of the stairwell and Alcina is closer to the bottom of the stairs. From where you are, you're almost eye-level with her. Alcina tucks a strand of hair behind your ear and cups your face. She gazes into your eyes lovingly and you return the look. When she pulls her hand away, you reach out your arms to hug her. She happily leans in and wraps her arms around your waist and lifts you up as you wrap yours around her neck. You take a deep breath in while you're in her embrace, your nose filling with the scent of her hypnotizing perfume. On your exhale you relax into her and she tightens her hold on you just a bit. You pull away a bit so you can look at her and the two of you look into each others eyes again for a moment. Alcina smiles at you and places a soft kiss on your cheek, you immediately feel a light blush develop and you kiss her back on her cheek. She hugs you tightly again and cradles the back of your head.

"Oh, my love." She whispers so softly you almost missed it.

You hum and nuzzle into the crook of her neck.

Both of you were so invested in the moment you were having, neither of you noticed Stefana passing through the main hall. Her body tenses up as she glares at you in Lady Dimitrescu's arms. She quickly makes her way into another room before either of you notice her.

"How about we go eat?" Alcina says, placing a kiss on the side of your head. Nodding into her, you give her one more squeeze before she puts you down. The two of you walk towards the dining room, three swarms of flies meeting you at the door as you walk in.

"Good morning daughters." Alcina says as she takes her seat at the head of the table.

"Good morning mother." The three girls reply, all three of them still half asleep.

"What do you girls have planned for today?" She asks.

"Sleep." Cassandra says as she rests her face in her hand and closes her eyes.

"Cass! You said you would help me train!" Daniela says with a pout.

Cassandra grumbles and Bela looks over at Daniela.

"Dani I can help you today if you want."

"Really?!" Daniela all but shouts.

"Of course! Mama what are your plans for the day?" Bela asks Alcina.

"I have work to do, as per usual. Actually, y/n, I was wondering if you were able to help me with a few things today, if you don't mind of course."

"Not at all, I'd love to help." You say with a smile.

The three girls give each other small smiles that don't quite go unnoticed.

After breakfast, Alcina leads you up to her study.

"Thank you very much for assisting me today."

"Of course, I'm happy to give you a hand with whatever you need."

Alcina bends down and kisses the top of your head.

"Thank you my sweet. Unfortunately my filing has seemed to get away from me once again. You remember where everything needs to be filed, yes?"

"Yup!"

"Wonderful, I'm sorry to say that there's much more filing that needs to get done today than there was previously and I know how monotonous it can be."

"Alcina, really, it's okay." You say, turning towards her and looking up. "I don't mind, plus, I enjoy doing tedious things like this. I'm just happy I can help you somehow."

She bends down again and cups your face, placing a soft kiss on your forehead.

"Thank you."

You look around to see a handful of large stacks of papers around the room. This will definitely take you some time, but truthfully you're just happy to be around Alcina again without your heart feeling like it's shattering inside of your chest. After clearing a spot on the floor, you sit down and get to work, separating the papers like you did last time, making little piles. Alcina sits at her desk and shuffles through the paperwork in front of her.

It takes you almost two hours to sort through and organize all of the papers. Truthfully, you were surprised at how quickly the time went by, you felt so relaxed being around Alcina, she seemed to be relaxed as well in your presence. Well, as relaxed as she can be as she deciphers the chicken scratch on the letters from the mayor of the village.

"It is incredible how someone so unintelligent hasn't accidentally set fire to the entire village yet." She says to herself, frustrated.

A chuckle escapes from you before you're able to hold it back and Alcina side eyes you and smirks.

"Sorry." You say softly, pursing your lips to hold back more laughter.

"Something funny?" She asks, her tone is stern but her eyes have a playful look to them.

"Nope, not at all." You say as you file away a stack of papers.

"Mhm." She mutters as she arches an eyebrow.

Alcina puts the paper down onto her desk and rolls her neck out. You can feel her eyes on you while you file away another pile and you turn to look at her.

"May I help you?" You playfully ask.

She smirks and inches her finger towards you, signaling for you to walk over to her. Alcina cups her hand under your jaw and lifts your face to look up at hers. Her thumb caresses your cheek and you involuntary close your eyes and smile, when you open your eyes again you're met with Alcina's gorgeous gold irises.

"You are a very efficient helper my dear."

"I'm glad you think so."

"Come." She says, patting her lap. You smile and walk closer, Alcina lifts you up and sits you in her lap facing her. She leans back in her chair a bit and laces her fingers together behind your lower back, her thumbs gently caressing your sides.

Alcina tucks a strand of hair behind your ear and cups your face. After she looks at you for a moment she wraps her arms around you and pulls you into her, you hear her sigh and relax into you when she buries her face into your neck. You respond by wrapping your arms around her waist and holding her close.

"Are you okay?" You ask.

"Mhm." She mumbles before placing a kiss on your neck. She sits back up and looks down at you. "Yes, I'm alright. I just- I-" She looks away, furrowing her brow and biting her lip. You smile up at her and study her face as she works through her thought. Alcina isn't the best at being vulnerable, it's something you've known for a long time now. Although she's gotten much better at expressing herself and being vulnerable with you, old habits do indeed die hard. She wants to say "I missed you, I missed this." but she's having a difficult time forming the words.

Instead, you decide to wrap your arms around her again and rest your head on her chest, holding onto her tightly. She responds by doing the same, resting her chin on top of your head, gently running her hand up and down your back.

"I missed you too Alci." You say quietly.

Alcina's breath hitches in her throat, it's the first time you've called her by her nickname since everything happened. She never expected to become emotional when you called her that again, truthfully, she never really thought about you calling her Alci again. Not that she didn't want you to, it was just never something that crossed her mind as monumental. But hearing you call her that nearly brought tears to her eyes, the sense of familiarity, the feeling of closeness you get when the one you love calls you by your nickname hit her like a ton of bricks. Such a simple thing showed how comfortable you were with her once again and she had never been so grateful to hear that name before in her life. She cradles the back of your head and places a kiss on the top of it before resting her cheek there.

Alcina opens her mouth to say something and is interrupted by the phone. You can feel the low growl in her chest, aggravated that the moment was interrupted. Placing a hand against your back to secure you against her, she leans forward and picks up the phone.

"Lady D-" you feel her body tense underneath you and a louder growl emerges from the back of her throat. "Heisenberg. What do you want?" You can't hear whoever is on the other end of the line but whoever it is, she doesn't seem happy to be talking to them. "I don't care what your mutts-" . . . "They what? . . . And why are you just making me aware of this? . . . Have you spoken to Mother Miranda about- will you stop interrupting me! . . . Fine. . . . No I will not . . . Because it's your dirty mutts who found them! . . . Stop acting like a child and do your job! . . . You've wasted enough of my precious time, goodbye."

Alcina all but slams the phone down and pinches the bridge of her nose and inhales deeply, slowly exhaling. Looking up at her, you can see the stress of the conversation slowly melt away as she grounds herself. She opens her eyes and looks back down at you and gently smiles.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes, I apologize for the interruption. That was my idiot younger brother, Karl Heisenberg. I hope you never have this misfortune of meeting him but unfortunately he's a parasite that's difficult to get rid of."

"I didn't know you had a brother."

"He's not my biological brother, heavens no, sharing genetics with that imbecil?" She says with a laugh. "I would rather die than be blood related to that child. He is one of the four lords."

"Oh, I thought the name was familiar."

"Yes, we were all brought together by Mother Miranda to rule over the village."

"Gotcha. Was everything okay? You seemed a little concerned."

"Yes, everything is fine for now. It's nothing I cannot handle and nothing I want you worrying your pretty little mind about." She says, gently booping your nose. You crinkle your nose and smile in response.

Her eyes wander from your face back to her desk and she sighs.

"As much as I would love to sit here all day with you, unfortunately I have some things to finish that cannot wait any longer."

"It's okay, I still have some filing left to do anyway."

Alcina kisses you on the forehead and lifts you from her lap. As she lifts you, the phone rings again. She puts you down and she picks up the phone.

"Mother Miranda, what a lovely surprise." She says with her best customer service voice. You look over at Alcina and she looks at you.

"Do you want me to go?" You mouth, pointing at the door.

Alcina shakes her head "no" so you continue to file away the papers.

"Yes, I just spoke with him. . . . Well yes, it is quite concerning but from the information I received, it's nothing we haven't dealt with previously. . . . Of course. . . . Yes next week is fine. . . . What?" The tone of her voice drastically changes and her wide eyes glance over to you. "Yes, she is still my handmaiden. . . . Mother Miranda, I must insist-" . . . "Yes Mother Miranda, I will make sure she is there. . . . Thank you Mother Miranda, goodbye."

Alcina hangs up and brings her hands up and gently rubs her face, sliding them back towards her temples where she massages them for a moment. She sits up, dropping her hands and turns towards you.

"Mother Miranda is requesting your presence for a meeting with the rest of the Lords next week."

"What? Me? Why?"

"She says she would like you to take notes for the meeting, however I can't help but feel she's testing me in some way."

"Why would she be testing you?"

"I have a feeling she believes that you are more than a simple handmaiden to me. I believe she wants you there to test my loyalty, as well as yours quite frankly."

"What's the meeting about? Does it have to do with whatever Heisenberg called about?"

"Yes, his lycans regularly patrol the forests and they've come across a group of hunters. Which is not uncommon, however there were more than usual."

"Hunters?"

"Yes, there are groups of men, usually, that try to hunt us. Well, myself and the girls more often than anyone else." Dread fills your chest for a moment and Alcina immediately picks up on it. "Which is exactly why I did not want to tell you to begin with, but given you'll be in the meeting we're having next week to discuss the matter, you have a right to know. But don't worry, they've never gotten past the castle walls and none of us have been seriously injured in decades. They're usually smaller groups of five to eight hunters, but the group the lycans spotted had about a dozen. They were able to take care of most of them so the threat is neutralized for now, but its still cause for concern."

"What happened when you were seriously hurt?"

"That my dear is a conversation for another day."

"Okay."

"I could use a drink." She says, lighting a cigarette.

"Do you want me to go down to the kitchen and get you some wine?"

"Absolutely not, last time you went down there on your own you were almost killed. I'll have Zina bring it up along with a pot of tea."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." She said, leaving no room for argument in her voice.

Alcina picks up the phone and calls down to the kitchen, taking a drag from her cigarette. Exhaling the smoke from her nose, the rest escapes from between her lips as she begins to speak.

"Yes, would you please send up a bottle of wine to my study? As well as a pot of tea with two cups please. Thank you."

You go back to filing and Alcina continues her paperwork, taking drags mindlessly from her cigarette.

A few minutes later there's a knock on the door.

"Come in." Alcina says.

Zina walks into the room with a large tray. A bottle of wine, a wine glass, a large pot of tea, milk, sugar, a flask of what's probably blood and two teacups sitting on it.

"Good morning my Lady." Zina says, placing the tray on the table near the door.

"Good morning Zina."

Zina looks up at you and shoots you a wink. She pours her a glass of wine and brings the glass and bottle to her desk.

"How did you possibly know which I wanted first?" Alcina says with a chuckle as she takes the glass and swirls the contents in it before smelling it and taking a big sip.

"Just a hunch." Zina says before turning around, heading back to the tray. Alcina smirks at her and goes back to her paperwork. "How would you like your tea, y/n?"

"Oh, you don't have-"

"Please, I insist." Zina says.

You tell her how you want your tea and she walks over to you and hands you the cup and saucer.

"Thank you." You say, taking it from her.

"Tea my Lady?"

"Not right now, thank you."

"Is there anything else you need from me my Lady?"

"I don't believe so, thank you Zina."

"My pleasure."

As Zina leaves the phone rings again, visibly annoyed, Alcina downs the rest of her wine and answers.

"Yes? . . . Heisenberg." She growls. "What do you want?! . . . Absolutely not! I don't want those mutts anywhere near my castle! . . . Then clean up your own messes!" She slams the phone down onto the receiver and balls her hands into fists. "That man-child is so infuriating!" She says out loud.

"Y/n," she says, bringing her hands to her temples.

"Yeah?"

"Do me favor love, take two very large steps to your right."

"Uh, okay." You say as you take a few steps, putting about five feet of distance between you and the spot you were occupying.

Alcina growls and grabs her wine glass and launches it across the room into the wall, it shatters as it makes contact, sending shards of glass everywhere.

"Thank you dear."

"I'm gonna go grab a broom." You say.

As you walk past her, she reaches her arm out and wraps it around your waist and pulls you into her. She leans her head into the crook of your neck and takes a deep inhale, your hand slides to the back of her head and you can feel her relax as she exhales. When she pulls away you gently cup her face and gaze into her gorgeous gold eyes.

"You okay?"

"Yes, thank you." She leans in and kisses your forehead. When her lips leave your skin, you hold one side of her face and stand up on your tip toes and kiss her on the cheek. Alcina closes her eyes and leans into you a little.

"My sweet girl."

"I'll be right back, okay?" You say, your thumb gently caressing her cheek.

"No dawdling." She says with a wink.

"Never." You respond with a smile.

Closing the door to her study behind you, you check one of the closets in the hallway for a broom but can't find one. The maids must have them. You decide to check the closet in the main hall, that one usually has extra supplies and a few brooms.

As you start to walk down the stairs you see Stefana walk across the main hall. You freeze for a moment and she looks up and sees you, the look on her face immediately hardens as she glares at you. She changes direction and heads towards the stairs. For a moment you consider turning around and running back to Alcina's study but you don't. You're so fed up with dealing with Stefana, with avoiding her, with having to sneak around the castle hoping you won't run into her. Things between you and Alcina are going really well and she's right, you shouldn't have to be afraid in your own home. So you decide to continue your descent down the stairs and try to walk past her when you get to the landing. Stefana steps in front of you and doesn't let you past her.

"You fucking bitch." She growls at you. "What the fuck did I tell you? Stay away from her."

"No." You say, looking her in the eye. "She told you to leave me alone, if you really loved her, you'd listen to her."

"You stole EVERYTHING from me!" She yells.

"I stole nothing. If you should be mad at anyone, you should be mad at the Lady, I did nothing to you, I never did anything to you."

"You're going to pay for what you did to me!"

"You're insane, leave me alone or the Lady is going to make sure whatever you're thinking of doing will be the last thing you ever do."

"Stefana!" You hear a voice yell from behind you. You turn around to see Zina standing at the top of the stairs. "Leave the girl alone."

"NO! She stole her from me!" She yells at her.

"She did no such thing. I warned you and you didn't listen. Your errors are not her fault."

"I LOVE HER!"

"She doesn't love you." Zina says.

You step around Stefana and try to walk away but she grabs your arm and turns you towards her.

"She's going to love me again, mark my words."

"You're fucking cra-" you're cut off when she backhands you across the face.

"Stefana!" Zina yells.

In shock, your hand cups your face and you look into Stefana's eyes, they're dark, angry, unhinged. You see something snap inside of her and she shoves you backwards. Fear shoots through your body as you feel yourself fall, the world goes into slow motion and you try to steady yourself but you just fall further and further back. In an instant everything speeds up you instinctively put your arm back to brace yourself and the second you hit the step you feel something snap and you cry out in pain. After that you feel the world spin as your body hits every step on the way down. You don't even feel like you're in your own body, you're aware of every time your body makes contact with a step, and you know it's painful, but you don't feel any pain, but somehow you know the pain is there. At some point you definitely hit your head but all you can think is that the room is spinning more than it should and that you're falling for too long.

You roll off of the last step and onto the floor, you can barely open your eyes but when you do you see Zina at the top of the steps, a horrified look on her face and you see Stefana, she has an absolute crazed look on hers as she stares down at you, smiling with the most terrifying smile you've ever seen on someone.

You think you hear Zina scream "MY LADY!" but your heartbeat is so loud in your ears you're not even sure she spoke. Stefana starts walking down the stairs and your eyes close, you feel like you were unconscious for a little while but when you open them again, Stefana is just a few feet away from you.

"Just die already!!" She screams. You see her leg swing back and she kicks you in the stomach. In a split second it feels like all of the air was forced out of your body and you can't breathe for a few seconds. Instinctively, your arms cover your stomach to protect yourself and you see her reel back to kick you again and you close your eyes.

"Y/N!!"

A horrified scream rings throughout the castle, so powerful you could have sworn you felt the vibrations through the floor. You open your eyes and first notice Stefana turning around to face where the scream came from. The next thing you see is Alcina at the top of the stairs, you've never seen her look so scared before in your life. Her fear morphs into unbridled anger when her gaze shifts from you to Stefana. Alcina begins to walk down the stairs, she could have ran down them but time seems to slow down and speed up randomly.

"Alci," you try to say, but your voice is weak and the room spins again.

Alcina is shaking, from both anger and fear as she descends the stairs. As she gets towards the bottom she unsheathes her claws and plunges them into Stefana.

Your vision gets blurry but you can hear Alcina's calws, looking up at Stefana as she faces Alcina. She twitches and a split second later you see Alcina's claws come out through the middle of her back, your vision comes back clearly and you lay there, horrified. You open your mouth to scream but nothing happens.

Alcina lifts Stefana up, bringing her up to her eye level.

"I warned you." Alcina growls. "I told you the next time you so much as breathe in her direction, it would be the last breath you take."

"I love you." Stefana says. "She wasn't worthy of you love, I was."

"You are not worthy of anything."

"At least my blood will help sustain you." She says, her voice rapidly weakening.

"I would never taint my wine with blood as disgusting as yours." Alcina sneers.

Stefana's face twists into a look of horror, of deceit, of heartbreak.

"I loved you, mistress."

"I never loved you, vermin."

Alcina retracts her claws and Stefana plummets to the ground. Her body twitches for a moment before she becomes still.

You watch in horror as Stefana's body falls in front of you, she killed her. Alcina killed her. The blood pools around her body as is pours out from the wounds from Alcina's claws and as you stare at it, you begin to disconnect from the world, from the pain that was starting to creep up on you, from everything.

Alcina steps over Stefana's body and kneels on the floor next to you.

"Y/n," she says as her voice trembles. She goes to touch you but pulls her hands away, afraid to injure you further.

You look up at her and see the tears in her eyes, the fear on her face. She just brutally killed someone in front of you and she's worried about you? You try to sit up but the moment you move anything pain shoots through your entire body.

"No no no love, don't move, don't move honey." She touches your cheek like you're made of the most fragile glass in the world.

Your eyes close, you're not sure if they closed for a few seconds or a few minutes again but when you open them, Stefana's body is still in front of you. Staring at the pool of blood around her, you see more out of the corner of your eye. When you look you see more next to you, you're confused for a second before realizing that you're laying in a small pool of your own blood. Fear courses through your body again and you begin to cry. As you cry, you feel the pain in your stomach and it was as if feeling that one pain was a switch because suddenly, you feel pain everywhere.

"Shhh love, it's okay, you're okay." Alcina says.

Looking up at her you can see the tears rolling down her cheeks. When you gaze back forward, you see Stefana again and it clicks in your mind again that Alcina killed her.

"You killed her." You say softly as you cry. "She's dead, you killed her." Crying harder, you continue to repeat yourself like a broken record.

"I know, I know, it's okay, you're okay, you're safe. You're safe my love."

Every cell in your body feels like its in pain and all you want to do is stop staring at the body in front of you but you can't seem to pry your eyes away from it.

"Daughters!!" Alcina yell out. She turns around and see's the three girls standing behind her. How long were they there for? Alcina thinks for a split second. They must have been there long enough because Daniela has tears running down her face, Bela is standing next to her with her arm wrapped around her shoulder trying to comfort her even though Bela has a horrified look on her own face. If she was thinking clearly, Alcina would realize that she's never seen Cassandra look so angry in her entire life, the look in her eyes is terrifying.

"Someone get rid of this!" She yells, gesturing to the body. "And don't put her anywhere near my distillery. I don't want a drop of her in any of my wine!"

"What do you want us to do with her?" Cassandra asks, her voice is steady, so steady it's almost scary, and cold.

"I don't care just get rid of it!"

Cassandra turns into a swarm and appears next to the body, an evil smile crosses her face before she turns into another swarm and surrounds Stefana, the flies completely cover the body and Cassandra flies towards the dungeon stairs and disappears.

You lay on the ground, still hyperventilating.

"Y/n," Alcina says softly, "just breathe." A whimper escapes from you as you try to breathe in. "I know it hurts love, I know, just keep trying to breathe for me, okay?"

"Mamă, ce facem?" Daniela softly says. (Mama, what do we do?)

Alcina turns towards her girls.

"One of you call Donna, tell her to bring every healing herb and salve she says immediately."

"Should we call uncle Sal?"

"Absolutely not, I cannot trust him to keep this from Miranda."

"What else?" Bela asks.

"Get someone to clean this damn mess up!"

The girls disperse and Alcina turns back towards you, you've stopped hyperventilating but you're still crying.

"Y/n, what hurts? I need you to tell me where you're hurt."

"Everything hurts." You cry.

"I have to lift you off of the floor, okay? I'm going to be as gentle as I can but it's going to hurt, okay love?"

Nodding your head as you cry, you brace yourself. Alcina carefully slides her hands underneath you and lifts you bridal style into her arms. As she's lifting you, you cry out from the pain of being moved but as soon as she pulls you into her it subsides. She slowly stands up and begins walking up the stairs. Zina is on the landing, standing there in shock with tears in her eyes. She looks up at Lady Dimitrescu as she walks by.

"My lady, I'm- I'm so sorry. I should-"

"None of this is your fault Zina, please don't blame yourself. The blame is to be placed on her" Alcina says, nodding towards the pool of blood where Stefana was. "and myself. I should have done something much sooner, I never should have let it go this far." Zina goes to speak but Alcina cuts her off. "Take the rest of the day off, that's an order."

"Yes my Lady."

Zina begins to descend the stairs and Alcina carries you into her bedroom.

Alcina sits on her bed and cradles you as you continue to cry. You're not even sure why you're crying, if it's from the pain, watching Alcina kill Stefana, all of the fear you felt in such a short amount of time, everything combined or for no reason at all. The only thing you can do is grab onto Alcina's cream dress with one blood stained hand like your life depended on it while you cradle your other arm and cry. She gently rocks you as she tries to soothe you, careful she doesn't injure you further or aggravate your injuries.

"It's okay, you're safe now, okay? You're safe now." She says, pressing the most gentle kiss to your forehead as a tear rolls down her cheek. "I'm so sorry," Alcina whispers. "I'm so sorry for not protecting you. I'm so sorry."

[blissfullyapillow]

┃Summer Rendezvous 

₊˚⊹♡ Jing Yuan x fem reader

₊˚⊹♡ wc: 1,283~

₊˚⊹♡ warnings: consumption of alcohol, misunderstanding with reader (lol)

₊˚⊹♡ Summary: A misinterpretation of your relationship with Jing Yuan leads to a deep conversation after a few drinks 

₊˚⊹♡ Pillow Talks: I wrote this when I was obsessed with the song Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift lol, so it’s heavily inspired by it (｡>\\<). My favorite line from the song is, “I love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard? He looks up grinning like a devil…” So I incorporated that into this fic. I have a love-hate relationship with this work and I’m tired of it living in my drafts. I hope someone enjoys this haha (>᎑<๑)/♡

₊˚⊹♡ Masterlist

What you have with Jing Yuan isn’t common knowledge.

The late nights, full of lingering touches.  The way you sneak past the Cloud Knights in broad daylight to see your general. The secrets you keep; the lazy smile you’ve grown fond of when Jing Yuan yawns, and the way his eyes sparkle with mischief as his hands slowly creep up your sides.

When you first started seeing each other you were perfectly okay with keeping things private. You were more concerned with how far this relationship will go.

...

But now it hurts.

You peek through the crack of the door, hiding in his office as he converses with an unexpected visitor. Your cheeks warm at the radiant smile on his lips. Your eyes follow his line of sight to see who the guest is.

Your heart squeezes painfully in your chest when you realize his smile is directed towards an attractive young foxian.

You know you’re probably overthinking things, but you can’t stop your thoughts from running wild.

What’s stopping you two from making your relationship public? Does he even want your relationship to be public?

You wonder if Jing Yuan is as invested in this relationship as you are.

You sneak out of his office once the beautiful foxian leaves. Your gaze lingers on his handsome features as you round the corner, longing to return to his office and spend the rest of your days by his side. His golden hues meet yours, with obvious curiosity swirling beneath the surface, but you turn away; lest you be tempted to run into his arms.

Unbeknownst to you, he smiles softly in your direction as your figure disappears around the corner.

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

Jing Yuan’s massive pile of paperwork has him holed up in his office today. You’re sitting beside him as you two participate in a drinking game.

You both alternate taking sips of the alcohol in front of you, seeing if he can finish his paperwork before he gets drunk or if you’ll get drunk first.

Spoiler alert: you’re losing. Horribly.

Jing Yuan continues to work as you two drink. From the looks of it he appears to be completely unaffected as he continues to scour the words on the pages.

As your finger traces the rim of the glass your hooded eyes languidly trail over Jing Yuan’s body. He has an elegant flair about him no matter what he’s doing, but this is the first time you’ve seen him intently focused on something.

He continues to write as your eyes devour him. His free hand moves to rest comfortably on your thigh.

“Love?” His voice sends shivers down your spine, and his hand on your thigh incites you to lean into him further.

His eyes leave the paper to take you in. Your beautiful eyes are full of passion for him. He chuckles as he leans in to press a tantalizing kiss to your lips.

His breath brushes against your cheek when he pulls away, a soft laugh leaving his delicious lips. “It seems like I’m the winner this time around, dear.”

Jing Yuan leans in to kiss you once more. When you two part once more, you steel yourself. You take a deep breath to let go of your inhibitions; you work up the courage to finally speak your mind. The alcohol in your system helps give you the boost of confidence you need.

“I love you.”

Your words are no louder than a whisper, yet they cause his body to freeze as his lips brush against yours.

Hah.

Ain’t that the worst thing you’ve ever heard?

If it weren’t for the alcohol, you’d be chiding yourself right now. How could you say something like that, knowing it’ll shatter this tentative relationship you have with the general?

The alluring moans of your name he’ll grace you with during make out sessions, and his heavy breaths as his greedy hands explore the expanse of your exposed skin both indicate Jing Yuan’s feelings for you are true.

Yet the general hasn’t told anyone about your relationship, and it makes you think he doesn’t see you as someone he’d like to spend his life with.

You kept silent and settled for late night rendezvous whenever Jing Yuan snuck away from his duties.

But now, you want more. You want to be his, openly and forever. You hold your breath as you look into his eyes that are swirling with emotion.

You can’t and won’t take back your confession, and now all there is it do is wait for his response and your inevitable heartbreak.

Jing Yuan shuts his eyes for a moment as he takes a deep breath. When his eyes open once more, your heart lurches.

He’s grinning like a devil.

A velvety chuckle leaves his lips, but he remains silent. He dips towards you, and soon his lips hover over yours.

You shut your eyes as you indulge in what may be your last kiss with the general of the Luofu. However, your eyes shoot open in surprise as you feel Jing Yuan’s lips are pressing against your neck.

“..General?” You yelp when he nips the skin of your neck. You look down to see unbridled passion in his eyes. “It’s Jing Yuan to you.” His lips continue to graze your neck, and as he presses another kiss to your sensitive skin you decide to voice your thoughts.

“Jing Yuan.. does this mean you don’t want me to be a secret anymore? We can.. be open about our relationship?” Jing Yuan’s lips pause briefly before they gently suck on the skin of your neck.

You shut your eyes as his name leaves your lips in a breathless whisper. He pulls back to look at you, and his eyes are warm as they stare into yours. “Yes, sweetheart. To be honest, it’s not that you were ever a secret to be kept. You seemed hesitant to define what we have, so I willingly took things slow. ..Even if that meant a bit of sneaking around. I wanted to give you the opportunity to see if this is something you really want, so to hear you say you love me.. well..”

You’re sure your facial expression is comical, eyes wide and mouth agape, as you take in the adorable blush on Jing Yuan’s cheeks. His eyes flick up to meet yours before they lower once more. “I.. I love you too. I have for a long time now.” Jing Yuan smiles as he reassures you, and your eyes water as you finally register the meaning of his words.

“So..so you weren’t ashamed to be seen with me? You want to be with me, openly?” Jing Yuan can only muster a sound of surprise at your words.

He’s honestly a bit shocked. He didn’t anticipate you taking his actions in that way. “Of course not. I’m grateful that life blessed me by introducing me to you. You were never a secret to me; you are the one I want to cherish for the duration of this long life I have. If you’ll have me, that is.”

The tears are falling now, his sweet words alleviate all of your previous doubts. You throw your arms around him. The move was so sudden you catch him by surprise, and since the both of you are a bit tipsy he falls onto his back.

His eyes shine with love as he looks up at the love of his life, happily laughing at how clumsy the both of you are.

As you lean in to give him a kiss, he closes his eyes, grateful for the wonderful blessing that you are.

[ladylooch]

Bones - Part 9 [Mack x David]

A/N: Sooooooooo I hope this chapter isn't what cursed Jake. Cause like... I would have never written it if I knew what was gonna come out of it! But also this has been done for weeks so.... I take no responsibility! I do love this chapter though! I'm excited to give y'all more insight into David and his family dynamics AND see Mack take care of her man 🥹

Word Count: 5.4k

Warning: brief mention of addiction, injury, surgery and general medical discussion

Mack really wanted to like the first member of David’s family that she met. She really did. 

But his sister proved herself to be three strikes and out before the drinks had even hit the table. Mack is already done with this bitch. And don’t even get her started on the husband, Ted, who keeps taking peeks of the waitress’ ass when she bends over to refill waters at the table across from theirs. 

Mack watches Ted do it again, then grinds down harder on her teeth. As she moves her potatoes around with her fork, Mack tunes back into Denise’s self-centered story about how hard the lack of income from the farm has been on her and Ted’s children. Mack peaks at her fiancé. Although he is calm and collected on the surface, Mack can see the frustration brewing beneath with the slight ticking of his upper jaw.

“I don’t know what to tell you.” David murmurs to Denise after swallowing a bite of his steak. “I asked if you wanted to continue on or be bought out and y’all chose to be bought out.” A measured disappointment flows in his tone, but Mack knows it’s for show. He is thankful his siblings all walked away from the farm. They didn’t have the business insights like David does or the college degrees that help him be innovative and calculated. The farm and David are better off without them involved.

“Well, the boys and I feel like you lied to us.” Denise whines. “Like you had all these plans you didn’t share so we could make an informed decision.” Mack scoffs slightly at the word boys, like the people Denise is talking about aren’t almost 8 and 10 years older than David. “We’re family.”

The manipulation is palpable in Denise’s words and tone. Mack’s eyes narrow as she stills in her chair. David’s hand comes to her thigh under the table, giving it a reassuring rub. He can sense her anger. How Denise and creepy Ted don’t is beyond Mack. 

“The changes for the farm were meant to be done if it was just mine. I invested my own NHL salary into the farm for these changes to take shape. I wasn’t going to do that if we were all still in on it. It was my own investment.” Irritation seeps into his voice. Mack lifts her gaze and sees how Ted is leaning back in his seat to get a better view of the waitress’ ass. 

“What about our kids, David?” Denise scoffs. 

“What about them? They’re not mine.” David chomps hard on his steak, then goes back in to saw off another piece.

“Mack, please-“

“No.” David points his fork at Denise. “This is my business. She’s got nothing to do with it.”

“I’m sure the ring on her finger could pay for the kids school for a year.” 

David sighs. Mack purses her lips against a response. Not because Denise deserves any respect at this point, but because David does. And she seems to be the only family member who can give that to him.

“I should have known.” David grumbles to Mack as they get into his cold SUV after a rushed through end of dinner. “Of course they don’t want to actually spend time with me.” His angry breath puffs white in front of his face. Mack shivers from the cold leather and chilly temperature in the car. Her nose and hands are frozen and she curses being too lazy to grab her mittens before they left. 

David turns the SUV on, then starts blasting the heat. He turns on both their seat warmers before placing his right hand on her thigh. He begins to rub at her skin as he backs out of his parking spot, trying to create friction to warm Mack up.

“I hated the way she was talking to you.” Mack huffs.

“Yeah, and that was the good sibling.” David sighs to her. “Did you hear the dig about dad not being around anymore?” He holds the name in a dramatic way like Denise had. 

Yeah, Mack did. That was the moment she abruptly rose from her chair to go to the bathroom. If she didn’t take a break, Mack was gonna swing on her. 

“Disgusting.” Mack sneers angrily. “I wanted to deck her.”

“I know.” David grins. It’s genuine. Proud. “That’s my girl.” He chuckles, flicking the blinker on to head towards home. 

“What are your brothers like?” Mack wonders. She hasn’t met them, but has heard enough stories about them to know they’re probably not her cup of tea either. His brothers live in their hometown still unlike Denise who moved to Texas. Surprisingly, Mack hasn’t seen them the previous two summers she went to Iowa.

“Bad news.” David mumbles. An icy look slides over his green eyes as the SUV rolls up to a red light. “And if I get my way, you’ll never meet them.” Mack regards him silently. The tension in his body worries her. 

“Okay.” She finally whispers. “Maybe we should talk about something else.”

“Yeah.” David mumbles. Mack folds her fingers together with his on her thigh, bringing the back of his hand up to her cold lips to kiss. “Baby, you are ice cold.” David says, shoving his vent openings off him and into her direction. 

The next few blocks are driven in silence until another red light stops their progress home. David looks over at Mack in the dark SUV. His white teeth illuminate in the black interior as he chuckles.

“You’re still so mad.” 

“Yeah! They suck! You deserve so much better.” Mack shakes her head in disgust.

“I’m used to it. I know you don’t like that answer, but it’s true.” He strokes her cheek with his hand. She leans her face into his palm, angst widening her nostrils and lowering her eyelids. “But having you to go through that stuff with now? That’s all I need. I’m finally not alone, honey.” 

The thought of David being alone in that hell hole before has tears stinging her eyes.

“That was supposed to make you feel better.” He smiles gently, acknowledging her growing water line.

“I’m so sorry.” She shakes her head. “You’re so good, babe. Sooooo good. You don’t deserve this.” 

“I know, honey.” He turns his eyes back to the road as the light changes color. “I scraped the bottom of the barrel with the family I have left here, but I won the jackpot the day I met you. It’s evened out. I have a lot to be thankful for with this family right here.”

Mack watches the lights and shadows stretch across his face as he drives. He remains calm and content in the driver’s seat. He wears it all so well, she thinks. The death of his parents, the huge responsibilities of the farm and his playing career, having angry leeches as his remaining kin on Earth. It’s not fair to her. Her mind drifts to his comment on family. 

She can’t help but wonder if her alone is truly enough to counteract all that apathy. 

“I’m sorry if what I said about the farm bothered you.” David’s voice snaps her out of her thoughts. His thumb brushes along her knuckles as he takes a right turn.

“What?”

“About the farm not being yours. I didn’t mean it like that. I just wanted to protect you from the scrutiny. Like you couldn't make decisions or whatever without me. I know you wouldn’t, but she doesn’t need to know you’re getting half ownership when we get married. It’s not her business.”

Mack startles. 

“What?” She repeats. 

“Unless you don’t want it?”

“Oh, no. I’m just... surprised. I know the farm means a lot to you.” She tucks her bottom lip between her teeth.

“I want to share every part of my life with you.” He assures her. “That’s our home. You deserve to have a part of it.” Mack nods. The peace she feels on that land is like nothing she has ever felt before. She’s honored to be given a piece of it by him.

“Thank you.” It’s not enough, but Mack doesn’t have the words right now to tell him what that means to her. He smiles.

“Thank you for loving it like I do.” He turns onto their street. “Shit and all.” He finishes with a cheesy grin. Mack chuckles. 

“You’re proud of that one.”

“Uh huh.” His laugh grows, shaking his shoulders as he turns the wheel with his right hand. “Oof.” He suddenly winces, then grunts out in pain. He releases her hand to rub at his right shoulder with his left and keep one hand on the wheel. 

“You okay?” She reaches out for the back of his shoulder gently rubbing it with the tips of her fingers.

“Yeah.” His voice is tight, which has Mack frowning deeper in concern. David doesn’t show pain. Ever. So to see him openly wincing is unnerving.

“I feel like that has gotten a lot worse since we have been back.” Mack points out. His shoulder was bothering him at the end of last season and a full summer working on the farm wasn’t the healing therapy the team recommended for him.

“It just doesn’t love getting hit again every day.” David insists.

Mack knows it is more than that, but drops it. He’s had enough hard balls thrown at him today. 

She doesn’t need to add to the pitch count. 

- - - & - - - 

Hi Mackie, FYI David left the game in the first period and hasn’t been back. You might want to check in on him. 

Mack’s heart drops when she sees the text from her sister. It’s her last day in Peru and she is currently enjoying a feast with her travel team and the local guides that have been showing them around for the last 13 days. She had her phone on do not disturb but her sister’s texts are always allowed through plus the rest of her immediate family, including David. 

Mack excuses herself from the table. The group is getting louder the more wine that’s spread amongst the glasses. Mack navigates to her phone app, then presses David’s contact. He picks up on the first ring. 

“Hi babe.” His voice sounds normal, too normal, which instantly has Mack suspicious. 

“Hi, what’s going on?” She asks. 

“I don’t know, you called me?”

“Babe, Lucie told me.” 

He sighs. 

“My shoulder. I’m in so much pain I can’t hold my stick. Got smacked into the boards on the first shift and couldn’t lift my arm up after. They want me to get an MRI tomorrow.”

“That’s not good.” Mack sighs, hating having to worry about him from so far away. “Do you think this is new or what you’ve been trying to heal through PT?” 

“It’s the same thing.”

“Do you want me to try and catch an earlier flight?” 

“No, I’m okay, honey. Thank you though. Go have fun on your last night.” 

“You trying to rush me off the phone is not helping your ‘I’m fine’ case.” 

“Can never outsmart you.” She hears a strangled grunt at the end of that sentence.

“You’re sure?”

“Positive. I am already home.”

“Send proof.” He chuckles at her insistence. 

“How about you go have fun?” Mack is silent. “Nothing about this shoulder is getting better before you get home.” He reminds her. Mack sighs.

“I don’t like this. I want to come home.”

“You do what you have to do, but I am okay.”

While on the phone with him, Mack looks up flights to New York. The only flight leaving tomorrow is the one she is already on. 

“Damn it.”

“Don’t stress.” He warns her. “There is no need to get worked up. I’m sitting here all nice and tucked in with my ice and ibuprofen.”

“Fine. But for the record, I hate this.”

“I know and I think that is cute as hell.”

The next 20 hours are tough for Mack to navigate as she tries to get back to New York. The already long flight feels like an eternity. She is grumpy and frustrated with the entire process, making her extremely annoyed to get stuck behind slow walkers off the plane. Once she gets to the end of the international section, Mack breaks through the crowd at a steady hustle. She heads down towards ground transportation when she hears her name being called. She whips towards the noise, seeing David waiting for her. His right arm rests in a sling while the other holds a bouquet of fall flowers down his left thigh.

Mack rushes into his arms as quickly as she can with the crowd. Her nose rests on his brown, leather jacket, careful of his arm. She grips her opposite wrist to keep him tight to her body.

“Hi.” He murmurs into her hair. His fingers rub into the brown strands.

“Hi. What’s the word?” David went in for an MRI this morning, but Mack hadn’t heard the results from him yet. She knows this was purposeful.

“Not good.” He frowns dejectedly. “They need to go in there and clean it up. I asked if we could do it after the season and they told me I would be in too much pain if I tried to play through with getting hit every other night.”

“Oh.” Mack says quietly. She chews on the inside of her cheek then sighs. “I know you don’t like that answer… But you’ve been struggling with this long enough. It’s already painful; I don’t think we want to see it get worse.”

“Yeah.” David sighs. He reaches his good arm down to grab her bag.

“I got it.” She shoos his hand away. “I want to hold your hand.” She insists. 

“Okay, honey.” He murmurs, lacing their fingers together. 

“Thank you for picking me up. You didn’t have to.” Mack rarely gets a ride home from the airport by David. She can get in a cab and out of the airport faster than he can get into it.

“I knew you’d want to see me right away.”

“Yeah.” She sighs, leaning into his bicep as they exit the airport. “Cause I’m really, really in love with you.” David releases her hand and brings her into a side hug. They stay that way until they get to his SUV.

“Do you know when you’re having surgery?” Mack asks once they’re settled into their drive.

“Friday.”

“Oh.” Mack blinks. “Okay.”

“It’s okay if you still need to go Chicago.” This was supposed to be a quick drop in to New York before she headed to a conference in Chicago as their division’s representative. She would never choose work over David, especially when his health is involved.

“No, they can easily send someone else.” Mack waves his worry away. “I need to be home with you.” She says with conviction. He smiles in the darkness of the car.

“You’re so into me.” His smug, residual smirk has Mack laughing in the passenger seat. 

“You caught me.” She waves her engagement ring at him. She crosses her legs into her seat as they exit the airport. “Are you going to talk funny from the anesthesia?”

“No, but I guarantee I am going to grab your ass. Be prepared.”

- - - & - - -

Five days later, Mack is curled up in a hospital chair, deep into reading her book in the waiting room. She swipes across the screen of her Kindle, caught up in a thrilling chase in her book. Her heart rate accelerates as the main female character is pinned into place by the villain. 

“Mackenzie?” She hears called beside her. Mack startles, then blinks away the reflex.

“Hi, yes, sorry.” The nurse chuckles.

“He’s ready. And asking for you quite insistently.” 

“Oh, okay. That was fast.” She looks at the time on her Omega watch. He is done almost 45 minutes early.

“Only the best for a Ranger.” Mack can tell she is a fan. “The surgeon will stop by once David is more alert to let you know how it went.” The nurse tells Mack as she drops her off at David’s recovery room.

“Honey?” She hears him drawl from the room. It’s lazy and slow like if honey was dripping from a spoon.

“I’m here.” Mack calls as she stops in the doorway. He grins dopily at her, white teeth shining as he languidly blinks. One of his legs is out from under the blankets, hospital gown pulled up his big thigh, showing off his tattoo. His black hair is long right now and it falls a bit over his forehead. Mack sits on the side of him that wasn’t operated on, then smoothes his hair off his face.

“You’re here f’r me.” He slurs. “My honey.” His good hand slaps onto her thigh with a thump, almost uncontrollable like it’s too heavy. “I wanna kiss.” She leans forward and kisses his lips. He is slow to react so she gets limp lips at first. She starts pulling away and a high whine comes from his mouth. “That sucks. More.”

“Oh okay.” Mack laughs against his mouth. His tongue comes out and he licks at Mack’s lips like SpongeBob. “Maybe tongue later?” She suggests, then pecks his lips again. She grips his chin in her hand to gently ease him away from her face.

“I liked it.” He scoffs. “I have a bionic shoulder now. I’m Winter Solider.”

“Mmmm.” Mack raises her eyebrows. His hospital gown is slightly off his right shoulder. She can see the small incisions closed with a few black stitches and blue hue from the residual bruising.  

“I love you so much.” He suddenly sighs. “Like… I don’t know what. But a lot.” 

“I bet I love you more.” She teases him. He shrieks again and she watches his heartbeat soar on the screen monitoring his vitals.

“You don’t. No! I love you more.” 

“Okay, okay. Jokes aren’t landing for ya.” She leans forward and kisses him to settle him back down. He leans back into his pillows. When she pulls away his eyebrows are furrowed together in annoyance. “Hmm?”

“I wanna go home. You’re wearing too many clothes.” 

“Okay. That’s not happening when we get home.” 

“Yes.” He says, shaking his head at her.

“No, David.” 

“I won’t do anything. You can ride me. You fuck me so good, baby.” His voice carries into the hall and Mack can hear a nurse giggle as she walks by.

“David!” Mack hisses, leaning forward to clasp her hand over his mouth. She starts laughing, shoulders shaking as she rests her forehead on his good shoulder. “Oh my god.” 

“What? I’m not embarrassed. Mackenzie Hischier fucks like-” Mack’s hand slaps over his mouth again. He keeps mumbling into her palm while trying to peel her hand off his face. 

“Babe, you know what I heard?” Mack changes the subject. 

“Mm?”

“Stella made you something and really wants to give it to you today, if you’re feeling up to it.”

“I am! I wanna see Stelly!”

“Okay, but maybe we rest here for a little bit and then you can see her?”

“M’kay.” He nods in agreement. 

Mack thinks she finally has him settled, but then his hand strokes up her thigh and settles on her ass. His big palm squeezes her greedily and Mack has to bite her lip to stop the yelp. She adjusts his hand to her lower back once his fingers relax. Quickly, with his hand on his comfort girl, David begins to fall asleep again. Mack has to wake him when the surgeon comes in to speak to them. 

After a through discussion of how well it went and what his restrictions are, Mack and David head home in her car. David can’t stop talking about how fancy it us. Usually they take his SUV, but he is drooling all over her new Mercedes she just picked up. Two stoplights from their place, David passes out again. After parking, Mack navigates to her brother-in-law’s phone number, asking him to come help her get David into their place.

“Hey!” Golden Retriever Connor greets her. “How is he?” 

“Either high or asleep.” Connor chuckles.

“Nice, let’s get him to stay stupid shit.”

“Let’s not.” Mack gives him a look.

“What, it’s funny.” He pops David’s door open with a shrug. “Hey princess, wake up.” 

“Connor!!!!” David yowls tiredly. “Oh my god, I’m so fucking high, bro. You look hot right now.” Mack and Connor start laughing. “No seriously, tell Luc I see it. I always thought she was so much hotter than you. I mean, look at you. You’re like… Magic Mike sexy.”

“I think we just fell in love.” Connor jokes, looking dreamily at David.

“Oh. I just remembered you have a dick.” David sighs disappointedly. Connor starts laughing so hard he almost releases David into the car next to them.

“Connor!” Mack exclaims. 

“You’re in trouble.” David mumbles to Connor. “She is not nice when she is mad. Like I love her, but she’s mean as fuck.”

“And you were like, this is the one. Were you high then too?”

“Stone cold sober.” David smirks. “But look at her. I didn’t stand a chance.” 

“We are still not having sex when we get upstairs.” Mack insists.

“Damn it! Woody, help me out.” David groans.

“Nope.” Connor shakes his head. “You’re on your own with that one.” 

They get into the elevator together and all talking ceases. David sighs loudly.

“I’m tired.”

“Yeah, I know buddy. Almost there.” Connor takes on more of David’s weight. “Where am I taking him?” He directs at Mack as she unlocks the door.

“Bed.”

“Okay. Hey, Dave, you’re gonna help Mack out and stay in bed right?”

“Yeah.” He agrees. “Wait, I think I have to pee.”

Connor takes him over to the bathroom and goes in with him. Mack sighs gratefully. She would be lost without him right now, unable to cart David’s big body around. David is hanging over Connor’s shoulder when they come out.

“She’s gonna come see me though?” David asks.

“Yes, I’ll bring Stell up after you get a nap in.” Connor assures him. They head to the bed and Connor sets him down, then they tuck him in. 

“Thank you.” Mack whispers to Connor. 

“I’ll see myself out. Call later when we can come up? Lucie has dinner planned out so don’t worry about that.”

“Okay.” Mack nods. Connor disappears from the room and Mack focuses on helping David get comfortable. “How is that, babe?” She asks. David is already asleep. She smiles in adoration of him, then goes to grab a few items he may need when he wakes up. She plugs his phone in, gives him a big water bottle and a protein bar in case he is hungry, then disappears into the living room to work.

David wakes up after lunch. Mack is editing her article when she sees him appear in the opening of the hallway. His hair stands on end and his face has a crease in it on the left side. He looks adorably sleepy and pouty.

“Can you help me? I’m hot.” He motions to his shirt.

“Like feverish?” Mack asks in alarm.

“No like you two tucked me in too tight and I got overheated.”

“Oh.” Mack bites her bottom lip as she laughs. She comes over, unsnapping his sling for him. She takes it off completely, then works the hem of his shirt up the left side. “Keep your arm in place, okay? I’ll move the shirt.” David nods, then stays perfectly still as Mack works it off. She gently pulls his forearm a bit away from his body so the fabric can slide completely off.

“Thank you.” He sighs as she puts the sling back in place. She kisses his bare chest as he rubs his good hand through his hair. He looks tired and grumpy, not normal expressions for David.

“Are you hungry?” She tries.

“Yeah.”

“Do you want like.. a sandwich or maybe some pizza?”

“Whatever. I don’t care.” He mumbles, going over to the couch. “I feel like shit.” 

“Are you in pain?”

“No, I feel hungover.” He rubs at his forehead.

“You were pretty drugged up earlier.”

“Did I hit on Woody?”

“A little bit.” Mack chuckles. She leans over his good side from the back of the couch. “Food though?”

“Pizza.” 

“Okay.” She kisses his cheek.

“Wait, lips.” He mumbles, slowly turning his face towards her. She cups his cheek gently and smooches at him until they get their fill of each other. 

Mack orders pizza, then heads downstairs to pick it up from the delivery driver. Philip asks how David is doing and she fibs a bit that he is doing well. On her way back up, she knocks on Lucie’s door. Lucie opens the door wearing a sleeping Winnie in a wrap. Mack explains that they are tentative for later, including that visit from Stella.

“He’s not loving life right now, but I’m going to give him some pain medicine with this.” She raises the pizza box. “I’ll let you know.”

“Okay! No worries. I’ll bring two plates up for you at least.”

“Thanks, Luc.” Mack smiles, then heads back to her patient upstairs. 

David is up, pacing around when she gets back. Pain stretches his nostrils and furrows his eyebrows. 

“Something wore off.” He tells her through gritted teeth.

“Yeah, it’s time for your pain medication.”

“No.” He snaps. “I don’t want to take those. Just ibuprofen.”

“Babe, that’s not going to work.”

“I don’t want to take pain killers.” He shakes his head then grunts at the pain it caused. "Fu-uck."

“Um, babe? Your bones and ligaments were just scraped and repaired. ibuprofen isn’t going to be enough.” Mack watches his face switch from pain to panic then he runs his good hand through his hair. He tugs at the strands and winces, grunting slightly in pain. She curls her lips together as she sets the pizza box on the counter. David breathes heavily across the room, rooted in place as his eyes move rapidly while staring out the window.

“Can you tell me why you don’t want to take them?”

“My whole family is, like, addicts.” He blurts. “I don’t want that to happen to me.”

“I understand.” Mack nods. “But you are going to suffer like this. How about we talk through how to manage it all?” 

“I don’t want you to see me as a junkie!” He exclaims. She puts her hands gently on his bare stomach, hoping to ground him.

“I don’t see you that way and you’re not. Let’s sit and talk.” 

The pain is making David edgy as he sits on the couch next to her. His breathing intensifies and a low groan of pain follows after he leans into the cushion. Mack holds her hand out for him to take. He does so, squeezing her fingers immediately. Mack pretends it doesn’t hurt.

“What are you scared of?” She asks him gently.

“That I’m gonna get hooked on this shit.”

“Have you taken these before and felt that way?”

“No. I’ve never taken ‘em.” His wide green eyes stare into hers, clearly worried and afraid. Mack pauses, thinking through how to ease both his pain and anxieties. 

“How about I control the medication? Like I’ll take them and hide them somewhere, so they aren’t out in the open and then I’ll bring them to you when it’s time to take.”

“Okay.” He nods. “Can you, uh, take the alcohol out of here too?” They don’t have much right now, only a few bottles of red wine that can go to Connor and Lucie’s.

“Yeah.” She agrees immediately. 

“I’m sorry. I don’t know why this is effecting me so much.” Mack knows, even if David hasn’t shared much about growing up in a small town. She knows he has seen addiction ruin families, including his own. 

“It’s okay. Thank you for trusting me. We will work through this together, okay?” He nods.

“Can I have a hug? I really need a hug.”

Mack gathers herself into his lap. He leans forward, connecting their foreheads, until Mack falls forward into his good shoulder. She is careful not to squish his arm between their bodies. David’s rapidly beating heart falls to a normal level in her embrace. She kisses along his jaw to his temple, then closes her eyes, holding him as completely as she can.

“Okay, I’ll take the meds.” He gasps as she sits back. 

Mack gathers the orange bottles from the counter, then disappears down the hallway to find a place to put them while they navigate this addition to the house. She places them in her safe in the back of the closet, and changes the combination to one he doesn’t know. Her heart aches for him and how genuinely worried he is about this experience. So worried that he was willing to break his teeth off from gritting in pain.

She returns with his first dosage of the medication and his water bottle from earlier. David pops the pill back then swallows. Meanwhile, Mack gathers an ice pack for him to start on his icing routine. Within twenty minutes, David is relaxed, eating pizza and watching his show. Mack goes back to finishing her article, then sending a few emails. Eventually, David falls asleep sitting up on the couch. She wakes him, then walks him down to their bed so he can be more comfortable.

This is their routine for the next week. David sleeps and recovers. Mack manages his medication until it is all gone. David doesn’t request a refill and chooses to navigate the pain with ibuprofen and ice. His spirits increase when he goes to the rink for physical therapy and gets to be around the guys. Another assignment comes in for Mack to take, but she declines. This is where she needs to be.

Over the course of 6 weeks, their focus as partners is on David’s full recovery. He begins to attend PT, slowly working his way back onto the ice. The best day is when he gets to ditch his sling completely. Soon, range of motion begins to build back to a normal level. Mack has to do a little more work in the bedroom for a bit, but she doesn’t mind. Neither does he. 

Unfortunately, even as everything goes right in David’s recovery, the process is still long. He is out until around the end of January. His patience wears thin towards Christmas when he feels ready to go, but the medical team won’t clear him. It’s great he is feeling better, but being able to do normal things is not the same as getting checked into the boards every night.

Mack helps David with his frustrations. They go running together. They plan their Allstar break, Caribbean wedding. They take a pottery class. They fuck. Often and exquisitely. It’s a rough job taking care of her sexy, angry hockey player, but Mack is willing to do what it takes to get David back on the ice.

The night he is finally cleared for game play, David floats into MSG on cloud nine. Mack is in the stands, cheering loudly for him next to her sister and nieces when David flies onto the ice. Nico and Lexi flew in to support him too and right next to them are Lio and Savannah. The starting lineup’s are announced and David’s name is received with thundering applause. The fans are ready and so is he. 

It’s a picture perfect night in the greatest city in the world. 

David scores with a Connor assist.

David handles every single hit and bump with ease. After the third hit, Mack finally stops digging her nails into her palms. He is navigating it all so well, as is David’s way.

Thankfully, he leaves the game in one piece and swings his girl up into his arms at the end of the night.

“Hi.”

“Hi.” She mumbles into his lips. 

“Hey, I was wondering something?” David pouts as if he is contemplating.

“Hmm?”

“Would you wanna marry me next week? If you’re not busy?” Mack laughs. “You nursed me back to health and now I can’t let one more week pass without you being my wife.”

“I’ll have to check my schedule.” She teases. He sets her back on her boots. Mack shyly leans into him when she sees everyone watching them.

“Just think,” Lucie murmurs, adjusting Winnie in her carrier. “Next time you’re in this building, you’ll be married!”

Now it’s Mack’s turn to float out of MSG.

Tomorrow, they’re all bound for Turks and Caicos.

[honeysickledream]

'Overgrown' - Simon 'Ghost' Riley x F!Reader | Chapter Three

['banner' photo credit : me (@honeysickledream) | dividers by @/saradika-graphics]

tags / cw: Middle Ages-ish AU, some period typical misogyny, relationship struggles, miscommunication / lack of communication, minor (?) hurt w/ comfort, past arguments, reconciliation, forced / arranged marriage, F!Reader, no use of Y/N, no physical descriptions of reader, their relationship is now on the mend, reader is a midwife | lmk if i missed anything Word Count: ~2.0k A/N: The first part of this chapter is a massive flashback to the arrangement of the marriage, the wedding, and so on. I promise things are getting better, they talk about shit, yeah…. sorry it's taken a few weeks to get this done. Synopsis: You had married Simon four months ago, the whole thing some stupid forced arrangement. You had left everything you knew behind to live with Simon in his cabin a few miles out from his hometown. You weren't sure you could classify your relationship as a marriage, or even say truthfully that you lived with him because he wasn't around very often. Some part of you hopes things improve, but you're not unwillingly to do what you can to live the life you'd originally planned for.

Chap. 1 | Chap. 2 | Chap. 4

The whole situation had begun because your father had made, with what little he had to his name to begin with, bad investments. His intentions in making those investments had been somewhat good-natured, you supposed. Wanting to increase the family’s wealth that had been dwindling for two generations, each year another chunk of land gone, a handful of ancient brooches sold off to pay the few servants that remained and to keep food in people’s bellies.

To save the family from utter ruin for the last few years, your father had called for suitors for his daughters and sent his sons off to find agreeable matches. Over three years, your two older sisters had found what seemed to be love matches, and your brothers had married suitable ladies, but you remained the unmarried one, not that you minded it.

You had continued to spend your days tending to injuries the servants gained or helping the few livestock that remained bring their little ones into the world. You even slipped into the city, when your father and mother were too busy worrying over the finances, to apprentice with the midwives there, earning money as you did so that you contributed to the household funds (even though your earnings were meager).

Then the world changed. One late night as you attempted to enter the aged manor your family had inhabited since time immemorial, you came across a rough man with an imposing stature and an equal seriousness who was sitting in the parlor…glaring at your father who was trying his best to be just as imposing, except he failed. The furrow in your father’s brow made you want to scoff, to giggle at him like you had done when he was little, but when he looked at you with shame, you felt your soul die a little.

Apparently your father, without your knowledge, had sent out feelers for a possible betrothal for you. The finances had taken an even sharper decline, the household suddenly unable to support the few livestock and servants that remained, and you. The insults and threats you had hurled that night had made even your betrothed go wide-eyed where he sat. Yet there was no changing what had already been agreed upon, and for four whole days, you had been under house-arrest to ensure you didn’t flee to the city and weasel your way into one of the midwives’ houses for the rest of your life.

The wedding had been held on the fourth night, an embarrassing affair that made your skin crawl and burn even months after. Your siblings had not been there, only your parents, the priest, one loyal former servant who caught wind of the event, and the town lord from Simon’s region had also been in attendance. It felt more like the secret weddings some of the patients from the city had right before their babies came, but that wasn’t why. Your family simply couldn’t afford a grand event for you, and any guests you would have wanted wouldn’t have been able to make it on such short notice.

Once the vows had been sealed with a hesitant and short peck, you were practically dragged to a carriage, secured inside it with Simon across from you, and spent the one-day journey glaring at Simon or looking at the countryside to keep from crying (which worked about as well as a holey barrel storing water during a thunderstorm at sea).

The carriage had stopped at the edge of the woods where Simon’s family’s cabin was, forcing the two of you to hike three miles to the old building. Luckily, and unluckily, you’d not been able (allowed) to pack many belongings, so all you carried with you was an old medical case from one of the midwives, and a case full of simple clothing and another pair of shoes. Simon carried your trousseau, along with his case of clothing. He had offered to carry all your belongings to make the hike easier for you, but you’d shot him down quickly and hurried on ahead.

Simon gave you a quick tour of the cabin once you’d arrived. He had shown you his bedroom, which has a bed big enough for the two of you. At the sight of it, the implications of what would happen now that you were husband and wife, made your panic and anger bubble over. In that moment, you’d told him angrily that you hadn’t wanted to marry him—or anyone—in the first place, and that you absolutely refused to be touched. That this wasn’t what your life was supposed to amount to

Then Simon had told you that the idea of marriage had never been particularly appealing to him either, that he’d had his arm twisted to into marrying someone, anyone, and your father had just so happened to extend an invitation to discuss a possible betrothal. The whole thing was some sort of marriage of convenience for him, that you were free to do whatever you wanted to do and to leave him out of it.

The night ended with the two of you in different rooms, and in the morning, you and Simon agreed to be husband and wife on paper only.

You hadn’t thought this through, that much was plainly obvious. Neither of you had uttered a word to each other after you suggested the two of you talk while he went to market. You followed him closely, much like a lost puppy, as he wove through the customers in the marketplace.

When he stopped at a stall to examine a merchant’s goods, he took his sweet time looking over every piece he could get his hands on before deciding he wanted to go elsewhere. You were trying to find the right time to fall into step beside him, to broach the subject that had been hanging between you for months now, but he didn’t make it easy.

When you did manage to be beside him, he was engaged in conversing with merchants, ordering full pecks of apples to be delivered by the middle of the week or haggling prices for full sacks of flour and sugar that would also be delivered. He always got what he wanted in the end, either because the merchants were terrified of his presence that seemed to engulf everything, or because he was just that good at finding the middle ground that made every one happy.

“Choose,” he said to you as he motioned to the display of vegetables from one of the granges. “Larder’s all but empty, and the garden’s not goin’ to produce enough for us both this late into autumn.”

He wasn't wrong, the garden was on its last legs for the year, so you began to peruse the vegetables. The friars had an abundance of skirret and leeks, onions and squash. You grabbed up the produce as possibilities for meals filled your mind: stew with squash, skirret and a bit of the meat Simon had requested from the butcher. An onion loaf with some cheese baked into it, maybe some leek tarts.

Simon paid the friars once you stepped back from the display after filling his basket with more than enough vegetables. Simon flashed you a smile, a faint one but a smile all the same. Something about it made your heart clench.

There wasn’t much time to analyze the feeling because Simon was moving to the next stall and then the next. The sun hung low by the time his shopping desires were sated and the basket you carried was almost too heavy to handle alongside your medical bag. His paced slowed enough for you to fall into step beside him as you made your way to the town square.

You sat on the bench angled towards the town fountain, the full basket and your medical bag separating you. Simon fiddled with one of the thin lengths of skirret, his blunt nails scraping at the rough and dirtied peel. The major crowds had died down around the town square, a gentle hum of conversations and laughter coming from the side streets and promenades.

Now was as good a time as any, you realized with a sigh. “Simon,” you started softly and he went stock still, nearly dropping the root vegetable. Your skin prickled as his gaze cut to you. “I…haven’t been fair to you. I wasn’t fair the night we met, the day we married and you brought me here. All the anger I feel towards my father, this entire situation, has been directed towards you and it’s not right.”

“’aven’t been fair to ya, either,” he muttered. “Marriage wasn’t supposed to be in the cards f’r me. Swore on my father’s deathbed that the Riley line would end with me, then the damned town lord came ‘round some fifteen years later sayin’ I had too much wealth and land to continue doin’ nothin’ with. He gave me an ultimatum: find a wife and use the land, the money I ‘ave, to support her and a family or…he would do what he could to take it all from me. My father never left a proper will. Yet another way he fucked me over. So, I got my friends to help me find someone. Price found ya father’s offer: marriage to a learned, talented bride if the groom helped the family with their financial struggles. The papers were signed before ya got ‘ome that night. I thought you’d agreed to the whole thing, if I realized ya hadn’t, I wouldn’t ‘ave signed. But I couldn’t go back on my word, I’ve some honor left in me.”

“You’ve more than some honor, Simon,” you told him quickly. You finally looked at him and gave him the best smile you could muster. He had a crooked nose, you noticed for the first time, and it was charming. Though you wanted to chastise whoever had set it so poorly. “How do we go about repairing things? Slowly, I know that much, especially when you could be called away to do whatever it is you do with your friends.” There was a hint of bitterness in your voice, you weren’t sure where it came from or why. You hated the feeling though. It made you nauseated.

“We’re mercenaries,” he told you, the honesty warmed your heart. “When we’re gone for days, it’s to do what mercenaries do.” He leaned back on the bench, head tilted to the sky. “We go at this slowly, like ya said, and with ‘onesty at the forefront of everythin’. Here’s my first step: I don’t want children. Ever. I plan to keep the promise that the Riley line doesn’t continue past me.”

Relief settled over you. Children had never been part of your plan, none of this had been, but to know he didn’t want children, that there would be no expectation to have children? “I don’t want them either. Children are fine to be around in small bursts, but I’ve never seen myself as very…maternal.”

He barked a laugh and you couldn’t help but chuckle. “There’s some irony there, given your profession, no?”

“I’d said there’s a bit of irony in everything we choose to do. A doctor might not want to get ill, yet he still rushes into the plague houses to help people, does he not? A sapper doesn’t wish to be crushed, yet he lays charges and does his best to rush from the structure he’s attempting to cripple. In all honestly, I became a midwife because there’s a lack of support from others that women must contend with during that part of their life. If I can lessen their troubles just a little, I feel like I’ve made the world a little better.”

“They’re lucky to have ya,” he said. He waved the around the poor skirret he’d been fiddling with, the air scented withe a faint peppery aroma. “Will ya teach me how to cook with this...thing tonight?”

“It’s skirret and yes,” you laughed, “I’ll teach you how to cook with it.”

(at some point I gave up with putting an accent to simon's dialogue, i think. anyways, there's the third chapter. i need to go study for the jeopardy game my class is doing for midterm practice tomorrow)

[orenji-iro-no-sora]

Love Next Door is so good because of the way it shows the reality of taking breaks. You'd think taking a break would free you and rejuvenate you and give you that serenity that you've been craving. You'd discover and explore, carve out the space to think and decide on how you wish to move forward.

But it's actually a rollercoaster of guilt, anxiety, competition, losing self confidence, grief and longing for meaning, seeking clarity, doubting your beliefs, questioning all life decisions, feeling like shit, spending time with your mom and becoming friends with her, doing everything you used to love again and experiencing the little joys, feeling left out and lost, wondering if you've ever been right, wondering why you treated yourself like shit, wishing you could have continued the way it was so that you don't have all these unanswered questions, thankful that you prioritised yourself, wishing for something to love for, wishing you understood yourself and life, and repeat and repeat...

And not only that, Seok Ryu's experience at Greip is the quintessential immigrant worker experience.

When you leave your country to work somewhere else, you feel this sense of responsibility. Most people invest a lot of money and time and energy and they have expectations to live up to, both of themselves (especially if you're a high achiever) and their parents. So you work hard, which is so easy to exploit in general in life, even easier when you're an immigrant. Because as an immigrant, you also want to be liked and crave for a sense of belonging. So you do even more than you can handle, to be accepted, and then people like Chris target and manipulate you because they know what you need. It's easy to become a pushover when you think it'll get you an ally in your loneliest times.

It must have been cathartic when she punched him. :) I hope it continues to be good until the end.

[dumpsterfire-daydreams]

Important plot points, König and reader fluff, TW: mild sexual shame, nervous König, comforting reader

Reader POV:

Any thoughts of attending practice were long gone as König happily snuggled in bed with you instead. You hoped that he at least had some excuse or alibi ready, though. The thought of Price catching you breaking rules again after already getting in trouble for that the day before made you a bit nervous. But at the same time, you guessed he would be understanding. You were both young and in love. And since you rarely ever got time to spend together, one missed practice couldn’t be the end of the world.

"Okay, I have to ask," you laughed, signaling to him that you wanted to sit up. "You said I was your first. So, how are you this good at sex?"

"I'm just lucky," he laughed, rolling off of you. But there was a poorly concealed nervousness in his voice. "You're a great teacher, Maus."

Sensing there was more going on than he wanted to admit, you gave him a skeptical squint and pressed the issue. "While I'm flattered at the compliment, no one on earth is that lucky or catches on that quick. Come on, you can tell me!"

"Well," König sat up, nervously rubbing the back of his neck. "When I told everyone you'd be visiting, Soap might have given me some… study materials. To prepare."

"Oh my god," your mind reeled in shock. "It was porn. Soap gave the man porn!" No wonder he had been so invested in your bedroom shenanigans! All the winks and suggestive glances? He probably knew every detail of what König would do to you! Because he'd given him all the ideas himself!

Though your face flushed at the thought, you weren’t angry at König. Both of your schedules were often packed to the brim. And because of that, even you had no qualms about pleasuring yourself on your own to bridge the gap or just relax. But König had never really seemed the type to do the same. He always seemed so innocent somehow.

"It was only a little! Just enough to give me some... Well, some inspiration. To get started," he rushed, before meekly hanging his head in shame. "…But I admit to exploring a bit on my own, too."

"There's no shame in that! It's okay! I'm not upset. Just surprised!"

Clearly, the topic of self-pleasure was still a source of guilt for him. Seeing him this distraught over watching a little porn was surprising, but you could also relate since you'd been there yourself at one point. The reminder instantly made you sympathetic, urging you to help him overcome it however you could. But having gotten past the initial confession, he quickly returned to cuddling. His hands trailed over your body distractingly and you knew he was attempting to halt the discussion there. But you had so many questions now and weren't ready to drop the topic just yet.

"Well, now I'm curious. I've admitted my kinkier tastes." You poked his thigh playfully. "It's your turn now. What kind of stuff are you into that you haven't told me?"

The skin around his eyes flushed a deep red as he dropped his hands to his sides and looked away. "...I'd rather not say. It's nothing."

"König, I promise you. At this point, there's nothing you could say that would shock me! There’s nothing to be ashamed of. We’re both adults here."

He continued to hesitate, so you rolled over and wrapped your arms around him. König accepted the warm gesture, but jolted when he felt his phone slip out of his pocket before you danced out of his reach with it in hand.

"Maus, what are you doing!"

"We’ll rip it off like a band-aid, okay? I'll just take a peek. …Bitte?"

He quickly sat up on the edge of the bed, moving as if about to chase after you. But he hung back, mind spinning so fast you could practically hear the gears turning. His eyes were a bit wide and he was still blushing furiously. But after a shaky sigh, he told you the pass code and you unlocked his phone.

"Just promise me," he whispered. "Promise you won't think differently of me?"

"I'm sure it's nothing I haven't seen before," you reassured him, navigating to his browser. "I just want to know how to make you feel as good as you make me feel. That’s all!"

As he sat there fidgeting, you scrolled through his search history. Just from the fact that it was all still there made it evident he was very new to this. No incognito mode and not a single thing had been deleted! The lines of text flew by in a blur as you scrolled to the bottom of the list, choosing to work your way up from there. You were curious to see what Soap had sent him and how things had developed from there.

Most of it was pretty basic: a lot of missionary stuff, erotic massage tutorials, and a few anatomical diagrams of the female form. From what you knew of Soap, you wouldn’t have been shocked to find the most obscene and lewd content, some sent as jokes and some for guidance. But Soap had thankfully started him off slow. He was actually taking König under his wing and trying to help him out without overwhelming him right out the gate. It reminded you of how a parent might educate a son. And it was kinda sweet!

But past that point, you could immediately tell that König had started to take over. Your eyebrows piqued with interest as you retraced König's steps. There were multiple entries that centered around the female orgasm. What it looked like, how it felt for her, and different ways to achieve it. He had literally searched the phrases "how to touch a girl right", "does sex hurt for girls", and "how to make a girl feel good in bed". It was so innocent, so thoughtful. He was definitely interested in sex, but he hadn't been solely focused on his own pleasure. He had been determined to make this a good experience for you too! And it warmed your heart.

From there, things began to sharply diverge as he had begun exploring his own curiosities. There were images of men kneeling before leather-clad women, ropes fastened tightly around their bodies. There were saved videos depicting burly-looking men in handcuffs or blindfolds, begging for permission to orgasm as a dominatrix spanked them with a paddle. And suddenly, his recent behavior began to make sense. König was a sub! Or, at the very least, the idea intrigued him.

"Do you like the idea of me being in charge during sex?" you asked gently, trying to help him open up.

But König wouldn't meet your eyes, instead focusing on straightening the blankets. "I don't know. Maybe? …Yes?"

"König, I think you're a sub."

His eyes widened. "What does that mean? Is it bad?! Maus, I'm sorry! I can fix it!"

"No, no," you laughed. "It's not bad! I'm one too! Remember when I asked you to choke me?"

"But I can't!" he whined. "It doesn't feel right. It makes me feel like a monster and I hate it."

"I know! But what about if I choked you? Would that feel right? Would it feel good?"

He paused, thinking for a moment. "I think I might like that? I don't know. It felt unfair to ask after I told you no."

You took a moment to give him a brief crash course of BDSM. The short speech covered topics like roleplay, bondage, and pain for sexual pleasure. And you made sure to thoroughly explain the difference between a dominant and a submissive. As you did so, König seemed to relax a bit more as understanding started to kick in.

"And you are a sub too, yes?"

You nodded enthusiastically. "Mmhmm! I wonder if we both are! Because I was willing to give it a try earlier, I can't really get into a dom headspace either. It’s just not my cup of tea. But we both want the same things done to us, but the idea of doing them to someone else makes us uncomfortable."

König paused, processing your words. "Interesting."

Relaxing a bit more, König laid back on the bed. He lay there silently mulling over this new information as you continued to explore. But what you found next made your eyes grow wide in shock. Link after link, from that point all the way up to just a few days ago, he'd only searched for one specific theme: "Two boys and one girl", "Three people having sex", "Two men sharing a girl". And it wasn't long until he’d found the specific genre he was looking for. Threesomes, cuckolding, threesomes, group sex, threesomes, threesomes, threesomes. In a knee-jerk reaction that you instantly regretted, your jaw dropped. And König immediately covered his face, well aware of what you had finally discovered.

"I'm so sorry," he cried. "You probably think I'm disgusting. It's sick, I know. What girl wants her lover fantasizing about sharing her with another man? Who does that?"

"König-," you began, coming over to sit beside him. You turned off his phone, not wanting the sight of the evidence to upset him even further. But it was no use as he continued to ramble.

"I love you!" he pleaded. "I really do, I mean it! I don't want you to think that I am not satisfied. That I'm not content with just you as you are. I never should have looked at such a thing. And I'll never look at it again, I swear on my life!"

"König!" You shook him by the shoulders, trying to snap him out of his rapid descent into despair. Or at the very least, break his fall. "I'm not disgusted! I was just totally caught off guard! But if that's what you like, it's okay!"

He sniffled softly, looking up at you with puffy, tear-filled eyes. "Really?"

"Yes! If it's something that you enjoy or something that you'd like to try, I'm okay with that. Honest. …Is it something you'd like to try?"

König sat quietly, wiping his eyes and thinking for a moment. “Are you sure you’d be comfortable with that?”

Now, it was your turn to stop and think. All of your past relationships had been strictly monogamous. So you’d never experienced anything beyond that. And, though the idea was definitely intriguing, there were a lot of details you needed to iron out first before you made a decision.

“Well,” you started. “It depends. If we tried this, how would the relationship work long-term? Are you just wanting to have a threesome with random people every now and then? Or are you wanting all three of us to be in the relationship together?”

“I think having three of us all the time would be good,” König said, wincing a bit as if just the proposition would earn your anger or disgust. But when you remained just as calm and open as before, he continued. “If we can find a - how did you say? - dominant? Then maybe both of us can get what we need without putting pressure on each other or being uncomfortable.”

“Okay,” you went further, stroking your chin. “Well, have you thought about what gender you’d want a potential third to be? I personally prefer being dominated by a man, but we’ve never really discussed what floats our boats in that area.”

“I’ve never had sex with a man before, of course.” He shifted on the bed, tilting his head as he thought the idea over. “But as long as they’re in charge, their gender is not important. So I’m open to that.”

"Okay,” You nodded as the pieces all came together into a solid mental picture. “Well, based on all that, I'm totally on board with this if you ever want to try it. But there's no rush, okay?"

König nodded, rolling over to give you a tight hug. "Thank you for understanding, Maus. I was so scared I'd upset you. I didn’t want to lose you over something like this."

“Hey, it's okay,” you hugged him just as tight, rubbing his back "Of course. I want you to feel safe telling me anything, okay?"

"Maus, you have my word."

The two of you sat there on the bed, hugging for a good while. You could feel his breathing finally slow back down as he relaxed in your arms. Such a massive man curled up against you. It was unexpected, but it made you feel a bit protective. He was a formidable soldier, a ruthless opponent, and a fearless foe. But after the battle was won, he was still your König at his core. König, the gentle giant. Your loving companion. An innocent soul. And you never wanted that to change.

After a moment, he giggled and pulled back.

“What?” you asked, laughing along but a bit confused.

“As I said before. I love you very much, Maus. But I think you might need a shower.”

You sniffed your armpit and made a face, laughing. “Oh God, I think you’re right.”

He took a whiff of his own shirt and continued laughing, fanning his nose. "I'm not much better myself though."

Both of you stood, not wanting the scent to seep into his bed anymore than it already had. But as you made your way to the door, you cast a mischievous look over your shoulder.

“You wanna join me? We’ll save water that way~”

After how your first night went, you knew he likely had a few more rounds in him. But this time, he showed restraint and reached for his vest.

“The offer is very tempting," he said with a smirk, slipping it back into place. "But unfortunately, I won’t have time. Ghost is leading target practice soon. And after missing EMT, I don’t want to get into any more trouble.”

“Fiiiine,” you gave in with a dramatic sigh. “I’ll see you tonight though! Then we can party our cares away!”

He leaned down, pulling you into one more prolonged kiss before heading for the door. "I look forward to it."

As König grasped the knob, he paused and lingered there a moment longer. "....Maus?"

"Yes?" You answered suggestively, convinced he had already changed his mind on your proposition. But his voice wasn't flirty. It was the tiniest bit nervous again.

"Um, don't be mad," he said timidly. "But when I get back, there's a bit more I need to tell you. Okay?"

"Really? I'm not upset, but okay!" Your perked up all over again, dying to hear whatever it was he had saved for last. Was he really going to leave you on a cliffhanger like that? Just knowing there were more juicy details had you on the edge of your seat. And from what he'd already revealed, whatever he was clammed up about had to be the juiciest bit ever! But though you were tempted to make him spill the beans, you knew he had somewhere to be. So you restrained your excitement and didn't delay him any longer.

"I'll really be looking forward to that!" You laughed. And after waving goodbye, König slipped out the door.