#I hold so much guilt because of you though
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rindreamery · 3 days ago
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in another life, i would be yours.
types of tragic love tropes with blue lock men.
itoshi rin, itoshi sae, isagi yoichi, nagi seishiro, mikage reo, oliver aiku
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itoshi rin as your unrequited love.
who could never find the right time. rin was always one missed call away, one minute too late, and always one step behind his brother. too many bouquets would lay discarded in the trash, and too many times the phrase, “i love you,” would lay at the tip of his tongue— words he would never dare to say to you. and he wonders, during his sleepless nights, if he’d be the one to hold your heart if he had acted quicker.
but it’s an awfully selfish thought, and the guilt that eats at him feels worse than the love he feels for you. he feels filthy for wanting someone who could never be his. so he forfeits for the first time in his life. he doesn’t mind hurting if it means that his brother is happy.
itoshi sae as your first love.
who was good to you, but nothing more. sae was a classic and naive, first love of yours; the type of love that you kept coming back to because you couldn’t let go, because you didn’t know what love was supposed to feel like. your perception was an idealized and skewed version of him, one that didn’t actually exist. he was sweeter in your mind— remembered your favorite things, carried your bags, and walked you home— but he could never find the balance between soccer and you. though he wasn’t perfect, you loved him and that was all that mattered to you.
so you foolishly gave your heart to him, only to receive it back in pieces. it’s been years, but there are times when you still think of him. a part of you believes that he never truly gave all of your heart back to you— a part of you will always be with him, and that’s a pain you’ll live with for the rest of your life.
isagi yoichi as your forbidden love.
who could never be yours. yoichi’s presence was one you long grew to be familiar with, and one you often found comfort in. he understood you, in a way that you felt that no one else truly could, and he saw you for who you were. not a model, not just a pretty face— but you, in your entirety. your love was limited to longing and lingering gazes shared across the room, tender touches that would ghost over your hands as you pass by one another, and warm embraces shared behind closed doors. he was that someone you wanted to call, “home.”
but the reality is, “home” would never be that warm for you. the fantasy you had built in your mind, where only you and him exists, is shattered by the glimmering ring that reminds you of its presence. a reminder of the love that would never exist between you two.
nagi seishiro as your "what-if" love.
who will always remain as a, “what if?” nagi is someone who plagues your thoughts, more than he should. you think of him when you go out on dates, you think of him when you watch rom coms, you think of him when you see other couples on the street. you fantasize about him in every romantic aspect of your life, almost as if to compensate for the fact that he isn’t yours. and you’ve come to terms that he never will be.
so you’re left with questions of what could've been. what if you gave him your confession, what if you hadn’t set him up with your friend, what if he could love you the way you want to be loved? — questions that will remain unanswered.
mikage reo as your compelled love.
who you know is good for you. reo is as good as it gets, he’s the ideal man; he takes you out on romantic dates, dedicates himself wholeheartedly to you, and never fails to remind you just how much you mean to him. he’s constant in his love for you— what more could you ask for? but your heart is selfish, and it seems that even perfect isn’t enough for you. your love for him is filled with forced smiles and a reminder that you could never find someone like him. so you stay.
you do think you loved him at one point. but it’s hard to ignore your want for a love that would spark a burning want in you. his love is as good as it can get, and yet you rarely find yourself yearning for it. your heart has faltered, unlike his.
oliver aiku as your ludic love.
who thrives from the push-and-pull. oliver was someone that you knew you were supposed to stay away from; he was the type of person who was just out of reach, never meant to be had, and the type of person who always pulls away whenever something starts to feel too serious. but he gets away with it because he’s frustratingly charming. and you’re frustratingly stubborn, never wanting to fully give in to his advances. in his eyes, your love is a challenge he has yet to conquer. for some reason, that’s exactly what makes your heart race.
as long as his game continues, you’re in it. you know you should crave for something steady, a love that doesn’t keep you on your toes. but you don’t want it— not when this kind of love keeps pulling you deeper, even when you know it’s more fleeting than it is real.
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note. i could write a happier version... i could also just keep it at this 🤭
© rindreamery, 2024
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affableramen · 3 days ago
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pantalone x stubbornly poor reader according to this beautiful request
angst with an open ending; romance elements; pathetic old man
dear anon, i hope you like the final result of this beautiful project. hopefully you won’t be angry at me for i altered the idea to my preference.
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Pantalone is circling you around with long steps, but despite him wearing heels, his pacing also remains quiet. 
“I take it you did not expect me in your tiny shabby apartment today.”
“No, not at all, sir.”
You can call him ‘sir’ as much as you would like, but the both of you know how much of disgust you harboured to this insignificant rich man, who did everything in order to seem a perfect socialist, but only you knew how fake he truly was. But keeping the faces up you wouldn’t permit yourself simply looking at him in an offensive way, it would be improper. And it would be perilous too, considering the fact this man is right now in your home.
“Tell me, aren’t you tired of being used? Being helpless?” He stops right there, though his voice keeps on raising a tickling sensation against your neck. “Your destitution does no good to you, it’s sickening and makes you look ill. What I offer you…”
Pantalone turns to face you, his eyes half-lidded as he pronounces that:
“I offer you help. Escape your misery with just one simple action.”
“What action?” You ask him bluntly, sensing unevenness.
“One kiss shall it cost.”
“A kiss… to cure my financial issues? I highly doubt that.”
Pantalone leaned slightly closer, his eyes looking up and down your face—going all way from your eyes to you neck, that is covered with a thin, cheaply-looking teal scarf.
“You don’t believe me?” You close your eyes; his breath is found light against your ear.
He finds purchase in your hand.
“So destitute, yet so stubborn.” He takes your hand, and you let him, unwillingly though. He knows it, he sees the bewilderment in your eyes. You don’t know what to do, how to act and what to say. But Pantalone only brings your hand to his lips and kisses the top of it, his dry lips are unbelievably soft on your skin. There’s a light smile tugged on his lips, almost unnoticeable; though you see it, at such proximity how could you not?
“One. Single. Kiss.” His tone becomes quieter with each passing moment. “Just one.”
His eyes are hooded and he looks at you completely relaxed, yet at the same time his aura is uneven, unsteady and disturbing. He sucks on your hand, pressing his lips everywhere he reaches access to on your hand, before he raises his head and speaks with a particularly raspy voice:
“I can’t any longer bear seeing you drown in your tears, caused by financial struggles. All it will cost to get you out of your misery is one shallow kiss.”
Perplexed still, you do not understand the meaning of his decision. 
“Why just one? Pantalone, I don’t understand.”
“Because you are not even close to be fond of me, yet I have been madly in love with you for some time. I would not take the guilt of forcing you into something you’d do so unwillingly.”
“…you are?”
His eyes are deep and dark on you, but the concept of love does not frame within the banker, at least in your opinion.
“Nothing else shall I ask for, except a single kiss. Nothing else, my dear.”
You look down—he doesn’t understand the consequences at all. He must have been too rational of a man.
“You see, if I kiss you with this mood, it will only be a fake kiss. And the both of us will regret it.”
A frown takes over his expression, the usual icy glare returns to his eyes. 
“Believe me, Y/N, I won’t ever regret a kiss with you.”
“Wouldn’t you prefer a kiss from someone who is equally affected by you? What’s the point of kissing someone you don’t love?”
“That is not the question I can answer. Y/N, please, you’re making all of this sound more pathetic than it already is. I’m aware you don’t hold a single ounce of affection towards me, but let me settle your debts, all I ask back is a mere kiss. Doesn’t it make a good trade for you?”
“It makes a hideous trade.”
Yet you take a step closer to him. Pantalone studies your actions carefully, he does not miss a single chance to admire your pristine, unruined beauty. You place your hands onto his cheeks not exactly earnestly, more like this is but a torture to you. Pantalone responds to you, pushing himself slightly forward, his lips parted and his eyes shut. Only now you can notice how long his eyelashes are, and how his skin is imperfect despite all charming rich gentleman claims.
You force yourself to crash onto his lips, and he accepts it willingly, taking your lips first greedily back, and then shifting it more to the softer side. No matter how fake you call it, it makes his being glow of happiness and excitement. It is still a kiss from you, on top of everything else. His arm snakes aroung your waist, the other hand finding purchase in your hair. He doesn’t let a single moment go to waste and keeps kissing you deeply and passionately, you swear to feel his taste on your tongue.
You pull away the first with a confused and pensive look on your face. Pantalone’s expression is read like a book, you don’t need to be an experienced sort of lady to understand what that kiss meant for him and what effect it had on him. On your part, you don’t know anymore whether the kiss was fake or wielded true feelings.
Abruptly, Pantalone adjusts his glasses, pushing them onto his nose firmly and exhales quietly. His breath seems shaky, but his inner world is shattered.
“Money is yours. I shall not postpone my departure any longer. I’ve already abused the generosity of your home.”
He turns away from you and escapes the apartment. Your bank account is found filled with money, but you don’t give it much of your attention right now. With a trembling hand, you touch your lips. A blush spreads over your cheeks.
“It wasn’t so bad.”
Later at night, Pantalone overthinks the happened while smoking a pipe in his garden.
“This was the worst, but the most pleasant kiss in my life. I shall not forget it ever.”
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kandadze · 2 days ago
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Ep 27 loose thoughts
Well, that's one way of snapping someone shell-shocked out of making a drastic decision. I feel like PSJ snapped something in herself at this moment, too. Anyone else found the ancestor's commentary going on in the background while the girls are bawling their eyes out hilarious? Just me? Okay.
While I was waiting for the ever burning wood to activate or something, the moment WX opened the box to reveal dried flowers I choked. ZYC!!!
Baby!Yichen breaks my heart, so impressionable, so open to learn. It's interesting to see that the phrases about suffering we've seen him use as an adult might have come from WX... Not a fan of telling people in mourning to stop dwelling in misery and sadness like it's as simple as flipping a switch (not to mention, she apparently *just* met him for the first time? The heck?), but at least the rest of her words seem to have helped him... so much that he kept the flowers 😭 The irony of her snow metaphor contrasted with their current predicament is indeed exquisite, A+ for that.
Are they going to be saved by the power of lurrrrve??? (At least this time. Still holding out for how that's gonna play out in the finale.) I mean, what other way to sway an ancient creature who's seen pretty much everything there is to see, than to show them something new? What's that? A test for a future event? (I'm getting really paranoid about nothing we've seen so far being real. It's like Alice in Wonderland on a bigger scale. Or Finnegans Wake on a smaller scale. I don't know.)
Oooh Bingyi and Ying Long, our original doomed couple (of self-sacrificial idiots)! I would watch a whole drama just about them. And damn, I can definitely see where Zhao Yuanzhou got his masochism from. Stoppppp not "Just let me be the first star"! (Especially since I just remembered ZYZ's "I'll be the rain...") It's not supposed to be literal! 😭😭😭 Ahhhh this scene just broke me, also because it seems to reinforce the idea that ZYZ *has* to be killed for the greater good. The visualssss in the execution- sacrifice? What the heck do I even call it?- scene though, soooo good!
"Let me do it myself." LET ME DO IT MYSELF??? FUCKKKKKKK DAMNIT HE JUST- ::head in hands, crying forever::
"Remember. This is my choice, not yours. You don't have to bear any blame or guilt." That's not how that works. That's not how any of that works!
Again, we're dealing with choices. But the fact that ZYZ choice was the same as Ying Long's... the fact that YL says that neither he nor Bingyi had any regrets... oh this is going to hurt.
Oh? ZYZ's future is not what he wants? (And wouldn't that be funny, considering ZYZ's own words while schooling ZYC in the very first ep... 9 times out of 10, things don't go our way?)
"You two are really like us." 😭😭😭
I was wondering if they were going to show us what ZYC saw, and not only does the image of ZYZ's body on that dark floor mirror Ying Long's body floating in the water, both ZYZ and ZYC wear the same clothes as in the very few scenes from the trailer that didn't happen yet... These poor sods, they've been Going Through It for almost a decade now with the only end in sight being yet another tragedy (even if the drama seems to suggest that they don't see it that way at this point.) ::head in hands, crying continues::
"My friend is here. We'll go together." The *sound* I made. Everything else this drama has given me aside, the growth of these characters and their bonds is so well done, and absolutely precious to me.
I want Ying Long's hopes and wishes for them to become true. Seeing how there's hints everywhere in this drama, I hope the words of one of the most powerful beings in existence will count for *something* in the end! (Am I grasping at straws? Maybe. Let me be delusional for a bit longer.)
What do you mean, five, ZYC? What's Ying Lei, chopped liver?
Oof this *almost* hug before WX starts feebly hitting ZYZ. It's relief, it's anger, it's fear for the next time, it's all the feelings that became too big to contain. I feel her so much. (I would've started whacking both him and ZYC way earlier tbh 😅) And ZYZ allowing her that release before pulling her in for reassurance, patting her as if she was a scared child. 😭 Cut to PSJ, looking as if she wanted nothing more but to be the one offering the reassurance to WX. Cut to ZYC, remembering that willingly or not, he's going to hurt WX beyond reassurance. Once again, the bonds in this drama!
Wait hold up hold on what? You just removed Bingyi's blood from him, that should mean that ZYC will not have to become a demon, right? So what's that about developing the inner core? (Also, I just realized that so far all they got from this trip was "go east and ask for a dragon scale" lol) Thankfully him and ZYZ had their conversation(s) about titles and identities so being asked to make that particular choice was not completely out of left field at this point. And all he cares about is whether that means that the last trace of Ying Long will disappear! 😭 (I'm so with Bingyi on this one... I would hold onto that last shred of my friend's existence, too, *especially* if they offed themself via my goddamn sword.)
What's with that look after he says that he thinks he has it - the inner core - is there a joke here somewhere? (I *gotta* go back to learning the language, the things I'm undoubtedly missing on!) The only thing I can think of is - did they think he said he's pregnant??? ::dies:: "So what's your true form?" "Must be dragon." "I say you're a mule." "Better than being a monkey." "I'm a white ape!" ::dies again:: Nice to see we still get a friendly ribbing between all of them, and I can breathe after all the angst. Fingers crossed? There's still 5 minutes left...
Oh good, let's talk about getting Bai Jiu back! (I knew there was one more character from the opening credits that didn't show up yet... guess it's the rebel princess.) While Ao Yin is eavesdropping! Talk about good hearing. Sigh, here it comes, another goal they have that will conflict with Li Lun's; they want the scale to restore the sword, and LL not only doesn't want that to happen, the scale could potentially help him get rid of the poison.
Oh for fuck's sake, I think I was subconsciously waiting for Chongwu Camp to show up, knowing that they've eavesdropped on the gang earlier, and here they are. ZYZ should really think of putting up some sound barrier when they discuss important plans, everyone seems to know exactly what they'll be doing at any given moment!
Ahhhh we're getting a nod to that little cough and stumble WX had shortly before this trip. Something's wrong with Baize token? Or with her connection to it? We only have 7 episodes left, drama!
(ZYC is such a good little brother.) Oh great, it was the rebel princess who killed WX's dad? I repeat, we only have 7 episodes left!
Sigh... with only 7 episodes left, we *also* find out that the goddamn 3-face-mask has history with the princess? And has everyone and their mother sat on that little bridge???
This feels like the endless final scenes in Peter Jackson's "Return of the King," my head is spinning.
Note to self, *stop* looking at previews. Ying Lei, what the absolute fuck?
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passengerprincessblog · 2 days ago
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“Off Track” - pt 6 Franco x Reader
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Summary: As Y/N’s guilt grows heavier, her attempts to balance her feelings for both Lewis and Franco spiral out of control. A tense encounter at the Vegas circuit leaves Lewis suspicious and possessive, while Franco’s presence only fuels the fire.
It had been a few days since I last texted Franco. I’d been avoiding it on purpose, partly to manage my own guilt, partly because I knew I was slipping into dangerous territory. The guilt sat heavy in my chest, mingling with confusion and that thrill I couldn’t shake. What kind of person was I, cheating on Lewis—Lewis, of all people? He was one of the most accomplished, disciplined, and admired men on the planet, and he loved me. And yet… I couldn’t get Franco out of my mind.
He’d texted me a few times, little messages that I hadn’t replied to.
“Hey, what are you doing?”
“Are you okay?”
“Look, if I did something wrong, please tell me.”
Each time, I’d felt a pang of guilt, tempted to reply but holding back. I knew Franco hadn’t done anything wrong; it was me who was tangled in my own emotions, who couldn’t let go of this secret, forbidden connection we shared.
Now, here I was in Vegas for race week, a city that hummed with energy and excitement. It was the perfect distraction, the perfect place to bury all my complicated feelings. Lewis had us checked into an opulent hotel suite, and I’d been surprised by how affectionate he’d been, almost overwhelming me with his attention. So much sex, intimacy, so many moments where he seemed to be trying to rekindle whatever spark he felt was slipping between us. And as much as I tried to reciprocate, part of me couldn’t stop thinking about Franco.
Today was Thursday, the calm before the chaos, with only the drivers and team members milling around the circuit before the crowds arrived. I found myself in the Mercedes hospitality area, chatting with a couple of women from the media, trying to keep up with the light conversation while sipping on my cappuccino. It was nice, a little taste of normalcy amidst all the jet-setting and high-stakes events that had come to define my life.
Then, my phone buzzed.
I glanced down, trying to hide my reaction as my stomach flipped with excitement. Franco.
“Hermosa, please tell me you are here?”
A smile crept onto my face, and I felt a blush rise to my cheeks. What’s wrong with me? I scolded myself, forcing myself to stay composed with the others around. But I couldn’t resist. I quickly typed back.
“Yes, I am.”
His reply was almost instant.
“Where are you? Can we talk?”
I looked around, subtly checking my surroundings as I felt my heart beat faster. Could I really slip away? The thrill of it all bubbled up again, pushing aside the guilt. I responded without thinking.
“Yes. I can come to you. Where are you?”
“I’m in my driver’s room.”
“Okay, I’ll be there soon.” I hit send, tucking my phone away as I stood up, trying to keep my expression neutral.
“I’ll be back in a bit,” I said to the girls. They nodded, barely noticing as they continued their conversation.
I made my way out of the Mercedes area, a slight skip in my step as I imagined seeing him again. It was ridiculous, the way he could make me feel like a schoolgirl with a crush, completely giddy and oblivious to the world around me. I turned a corner, lost in thought, and nearly collided with a solid wall of muscle—Lewis.
“Oh… sorry,” I stammered, slightly taken aback.
He gave me a curious look, his gaze sweeping over me, taking in the cheerfulness I couldn’t quite hide. “It’s okay, angel,” he said, smiling, though there was something searching in his eyes. “You just can’t get enough of me, huh?”
I forced a laugh, trying to sound casual, and started to step around him, but he turned, keeping pace with me. “Where are you going?” he asked, his tone light, but with a hint of something else underneath. “I was just coming to get you, silly.”
“Oh?” I said, slowing my pace, my mind racing as I tried to come up with an excuse. How am I going to get out of this?
“Yes,” he teased, wrapping his arm around my shoulder as he started steering me in the opposite direction of Franco’s driver’s room. “I wanted some special Y/N time.”
I groaned softly. “Lewis… I wanted to go—”
“Go? Do what?” He stopped, turning to look at me with a raised eyebrow, his eyes narrowing slightly.
I felt my mind go blank. Think of something. “I was going to… like… you know… say hi to everyone.” The words came out awkwardly, and I mentally cringed. That’s what I came up with?
He tilted his head, his expression a mixture of amusement and suspicion. “Everyone? Who’s ‘everyone’?” he asked, sounding a little annoyed. “You don’t need to.”
I bit my lip, trying to think of a way to recover. “I was just going to say hi to Franco really quick.” The words slipped out before I could stop them, and I immediately regretted it.
“Franco?” he repeated, his tone tinged with confusion, as though he couldn’t fathom why I’d want to see him.
“Babe… Franco can wait,” he said firmly, tugging me gently down the hall toward his driver’s room.
“But—” I began, only to be interrupted by Toto, who approached us from the other end of the hallway.
“Y/N, keeping Lewis happy I see. Thank you,” Toto joked, giving me a friendly smile.
I laughed lightly, thankful for the distraction.
“Lewis, I need to talk to you quickly,” Toto said, nodding to him.
Lewis hesitated, glancing back at me with a look that was equal parts irritation and suspicion. “I’ll text you when I’m done, okay?” he said, his tone softening as he turned to follow Toto.
I let out a small sigh of relief as I watched them walk away. Thank you, Toto, I thought to myself, grateful for the chance to slip away unnoticed. I quickly made my way to the Williams area, feeling a giddy excitement bubbling up once again.
The moment he was out of sight, a smile crept back onto my face. I headed down the pit lane, practically floating as I made my way towards Franco’s driver’s room. When I reached his door, I paused, glancing around to make sure no one was watching. I knocked softly, my heart pounding.
A few mechanics looked in my direction, quickly averting their gaze, and a pang of paranoia shot through me. What if people start talking? What if Lewis hears about this? But before I could worry further, the door opened, and Franco stood there.
Franco’s face lit up, his hair slightly messy, his eyes sparkling with that familiar mischief. “You’re very late,” he teased, his accent making the words sound softer, more inviting.
“Sorry…” I murmured, smiling shyly as I looked at him, at the lips I’d been dying to kiss.
“Come on, hermosa,” he whispered, taking my hand and pulling me inside, gently closing the door behind us.
I sat down on the couch, trying to control the smile that was threatening to break across my face. Franco watched me, his arms crossed, a playful smirk on his lips.
“You look happy to see me,” he said, mock-scolding. “Even though you haven’t texted me back.”
“I’m sorry… I just… I didn’t…” I stammered, not wanting to mention Lewis.
“It’s okay. I understand,” he said softly, sitting beside me, his tone forgiving.
We locked eyes, the tension between us thick and undeniable. He reached up, gently brushing a strand of hair from my face, his fingers lingering a bit longer than necessary.
“Te ves muy hermosa hoy,” he murmured, his voice low and warm, his gaze holding mine.
I smiled, unable to help the blush creeping up my cheeks. “Thank you… you look beautiful too,” I teased.
He chuckled, his face warming slightly, and we fell into easy conversation, laughing and enjoying each other’s company. After a few minutes, I found myself confiding in him about my argument with Lewis, the way he’d thrown things in my face that made me feel small, undeserving.
Franco listened, his face soft with understanding, but there was a flicker of something else—something like disappointment, as if he were seeing his idol in a different light. He offered sweet, reassuring words, but I could tell that he was quietly hurt to hear about that side of Lewis.
To lighten the mood, he pulled out his laptop, showing me some silly concepts for his race helmet. We laughed together, pointing out the ridiculous designs, and for a moment, I forgot about everything else. But just as I was starting to relax, the door swung open.
It was Lewis.
He stood in the doorway, his gaze sweeping over us, taking in the sight of us laughing together on the couch. There was a tension in his posture, an edge to his expression that made my heart race with anxiety.
“Lewis, you should see this,” Franco said quickly, turning his laptop around to show him the designs. Franco’s quick thinking saved us, but I could feel Lewis’s eyes on me, studying me, suspicion lurking beneath the surface.
He forced a laugh, though it sounded hollow. “That’s… interesting, I guess. Sure, do it,” he said to Franco, his tone dismissive. But his gaze remained fixed on me, a silent accusation in the intensity of his stare.
Franco, bless him, kept his cool, despite the subtle shift in Lewis’s mood. “Thanks, Lewis. I think I will,” he said, managing a casual smile. But I could feel the discomfort radiating from him, the tension that now crackled between the three of us, like a storm waiting to break.
Finally, Lewis turned his attention back to me, and his voice softened, but it didn’t feel kind. “You hungry, sweetheart?” His words dripped with an exaggerated sweetness, an extra layer of endearment that made me feel even more anxious. It was almost patronizing.
I nodded, barely able to meet his gaze as I stood up, feeling Franco’s eyes on me, almost as if he was silently getting annoyed at Lewis.
Lewis motioned toward the door, his hand resting at the small of my back, guiding me out with a possessive grip that felt more like a statement than affection. “Then let’s get you something to eat, my love,” he said, his tone gentle but laced with something darker, as though he were challenging me to argue.
As soon as the door clicked shut behind us, his arm slipped around my waist, pulling me closer. His grip was firmer than usual, his fingers pressing into my side as we walked down the hall.
“I thought I told you to wait in my driver’s room?” he murmured, his voice low, a hint of accusation creeping into his tone.
I swallowed, my stomach twisting with anxiety. “No? You just said you’d text me when you were done…” My voice came out softer than I intended, almost hesitant.
His eyes narrowed, a flicker of irritation crossing his face. “Fine. But… what the hell was that all about?” His voice was sharp, cutting through the air between us like a knife.
“What?” I asked, forcing myself to keep my expression innocent, though my heart was pounding.
He looked at me, his gaze piercing, as though he were trying to see straight through me. “Don’t ‘what’ me, Y/N. You, sitting there laughing with Franco? Acting all… giggly?.”
I could feel my heart racing, panic clawing at my chest as I tried to think of a way to diffuse the tension. What am I supposed to say? “He just wanted to show me his helmet designs,” I stammered, shrugging as if it were nothing, forcing a casual tone that didn’t quite feel natural.
Lewis’s stare didn’t waver, his gaze intense as he tried to read every flicker of my expression. “Just don’t be in a room alone with him again,” he said, his voice firm, leaving no room for debate. It wasn’t a request; it was an order.
His arm tightened around me as we walked toward the Mercedes hospitality area, his grip almost possessive, like he was staking his claim. I could feel the tension rolling off him, the unspoken accusations simmering just beneath the surface. I could barely breathe under the weight of it, the silent message he was sending with every firm step he took.
Oh god… what am I going to do?
Next time …..
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As always, thank you for reading and appreciating my works.
I hope my writings help you unwind and escape your life in a way that is exciting to you.
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Xoxo
Princess
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quinnverse · 2 days ago
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A devilish grin cracked across her face as she licked her lips with satisfaction. She'd never seen a man like this before, so needy and malleable. She couldn't deny that it made her feel things that she knew a true lady shouldn't feel. As he arched his hips to move into her touch, Sarah allowed her free hand to rub his thigh.
A soft gasp slipped past her lips when she felt his mouth against her breasts, taking her hardened peak between his teeth. Her strokes on his cock slowed into mindless movements, her mind unable to focus when her entire body felt alight. His finger slipped inside her and her brows furrowed as her hips arched up towards his touch.
She didn't even realize what words had come out of her mouth. She'd barely realized she'd said anything at all until he voiced his concerns in long, uneven breaths.
"What?" She stared at him with wide, wild eyes, the loose hairs framing her face mussed and tangled. "No." She shook her head, looping her arms around him to keep him in place. He couldn't leave her like this, she wouldn't survive. "You cannot stop now, y-you..."
Sarah swallowed and looked away. He was right. But that didn't mean she didn't want to continue. Her husband wouldn't have to know. Sarah had acted in enough of her sisters' plays to know how to pretend. She could pretend like she'd never seen a man before, like she had never been touched before. She could lie to everyone, just so that she didn't have to stop such a feeling.
"What is 'more than this'?" Gently, she sat up straight and pushed his hand away, not wanting him to put her clothes back. Not yet. "What does that even mean? Do we not care for each other? Do we not want each other? I-I may never feel this way for another man, let alone a husband." Reaching out, she tucked a strand of his hair behind his ear, taking on a desperately saccharine tone. "I may never be treated with this much care again. Would you truly wish to deny me the pleasures of love, just so another man can steal my purity?"
It was a low-blow, manipulative at best, and maniacal at worst. She didn't want to guilt him into continuing. The last thing she wanted was to make him regret this, to make him despise her for leading him astray. But Sarah wanted him to realize how she felt, and that a moment like this may never happen again for her if she didn't act upon it now.
"And I want that, too. I want you to kiss me... and touch me... and hold me. So, I do not think that makes you a scoundrel." Sarah took a deep breath and shook her head, as though disagreeing with every single thought that crossed her mind. "I appreciate your worry over my purity, but I don't think any of the thoughts in my head could be considered pure. I do not wish to do this with anyone else. I-I want to do it with you, Benjamin." His name felt foreign on her tongue, but they had long since moved past formalities.
"Is it..." She hesitated, trying to find the proper words. "Is it the part that comes next that you're worried about? Because w-we can just continue like this if that's the case... I can touch you, and y-you can touch me..." She offered in a sing-song tone, running her hands across his skin and avoiding his gaze. "I want to make you experience what I felt. Don't you want that, too?"
An ache was surely an understatement. Benjamin presently felt over-stimulated, his teeth catching on his bottom lip to silence his grunts and gasps as Sarah worked him over, decidedly innocent in her gentle exploration. Fumblingly, he gripped at her shoulder with his free hand, tightening his hold once he thrust through the sturdy ring of her fingers.
“Touching helps? So, this is okay?”
"Yes," he managed to grit out. The half-whisper, half-moan embarrassed him, especially since he couldn't be certain if he was answering her questions, or simply praising her for the way she continued to scramble his thoughts.
Somewhere amidst his dizziness, Sarah gave him the same permission. With clumsy hands, he immediately set to work on unfastening the buttons along the back of her dress. He brought his mouth to hers, fierce and needful as he groaned into their heated kiss, his hips jerking each time she stroked in a downward, purposeful motion.
In between their messy, open-mouthed kisses, Sarah's exploration slid up his arms, down his back, and then back between his legs again as he eased her bodice down to drape loosely around her elbows. Smearing his hungry mouth toward her neck, chest, and then to the heaving swell of her breasts, he took one budding nipple into his mouth and gently grazed the protrusion with his teeth, his free hand sliding back between her legs and delving into her warm, sodden heat. The way her body clenched in an effort at rejecting his entry made him slow down, opting for careful, shallow thrusts to ease any discomfort as he slid another finger inside her tight wetness.
“God, I want you.”
Her entreaty made him shudder.
With a silent, persistent begging, Sarah allowed her legs to part wider for his searching fingers. “Please," she whimpered. "I need you.”
Sobered by the magnitude of just what she was proposing, Benjamin froze above her, breathing hard as his long, loosened hair fell into his eyes. "Sarah, I...w-we shouldn't," he panted. "I want you more than anything -- I do -- but your future husband will not approve, should you not seem pure on your wedding night."
With shaky hands, Benjamin removed his touch from between her legs and started righting her clothing. "I only wanted to hold you...to kiss and touch you for a bit. That's all, I swear." Closing his eyes, he tenderly kissed her brow. "Please don't make me into a scoundrel...you deserve more than this."
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brinkof-goingsupernova · 2 years ago
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I’m hanging up and/or walking out on the next doctor that blames me for my chronic pain. Your inability to help me is not my fault. Some of us don’t fit into perfect little boxes.
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zarnzarn · 2 months ago
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(check the tags for more and also the tag for other fics in the story!)
athena, scowling as she gets bullied into marrying the people she pined over for the last 1000 years, suddenly realising something: wait a minute
odysseus: what?
athena, frozen: wait a damn minute you know what this gives me rights to do
penelope, also realising: oh fuck yes
odysseus: I don't like the sound of whatever's happening here what are you two fucking talking about?
athena, grabbing the marriage wine and tossing it back, then kissing her new wife and husband and handing penelope a spear as she picks up a mace: we'll be back shortly, you can start celebrations without us.
penelope: do u have anything that can start a fire
athena, pulling out an old contract and scanning it before throwing it over her shoulder: yes. are you scared of heights or can we fly.
penelope: fucking bring it I've waited years for this moment
zeus: where are they going
hermes, picking up the contract: they're going to... Ogygia? Oh fucking shit they're going to fucking kill Calypso- hey, hello, WAIT-
#odysseus disappears midway because athena plants one on him so hard his soul evaporates#(strategic to make him stop from coming after them and also from passion she forgot to hold back for once)#(and also shes maybe possibly in love and cant wait to get vengeance on Calypsos bitch ass who hurt him so much for so long)#penelope has had to deal with calypos afteraffects for literally the rest of their lives. from flashbacks to odysseus inconsolably crying#at her feet for forgiveness some days even though shes always said frim the first moment that it wasnt his fault#the rest of the gods have to chase them down to prevent them from eternally torturing calypso (goddesses cant die <3)#athenas blazing mad and sick with guilt and horror. she couldn't attack before because it would be seen as an attack from olympus#but as a wife! as two wifes! no political implications there no holds barred calypso gets her ass BEAT#but also pls imagine them chasing her and gods chasing them round and round the island while screaming#odysseus wavered like 17 times on whether to ask hermes for a lift there or not but goes in the end#their honeymoon in truth ends up being on ogygia#athena lovingly and seductively teaching penelope how to fillet a person both of them covered in ichor#odysseus with a hand over his mouth blushing grinning tears in eyes torn between turned on and terrified to be back and crying coz they lov#him that much.#((he goes to her just before they leave in the cave she used to drag him to. she can barely hold herself up and hes shaking to approach))#((but he's stronger now. settled and satisfied and content. he kneels by her and sets down bandages next to her.))#((i told you i was married he says. and because his truest weapon is his tongue- if youd just listened i wouldve found us both a way out))#she sobs and he leaves. the scars will never fade fully but he feels lighter as he steps out into the sun where athene and pen are waiting.#bloodsoaked and being shouted at by hera but smiling at him widely and gleefully as he approaches. takes a hand each and presses him btwn.#he squeezes back with a smile and leans into them. his beautiful horrifying wives#odypenath#odypenetha#odysseus#penelope#athena#odypen#odyath#penath#epic the musical#love in paradise
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seagreenstardust · 5 months ago
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Anyone still calling late game Katsuki an abuser in 2024 is just not paying attention. Full stop.
#bkdk#bakudeku#every time I see an anti post they try to define bkdk shippers as just masking their hate of Izuku#or as inappropriately labeling them as childhood friends and that being the basis of the whole ship#or as of acting on the hand hold scene LIKE KATSUKI DID FOR ELEVEN PLUS YEARS IN CANON without realizing that it went sour that first time#or as abuse apologists#they like to whittle katsuki down to the black and white bully even now#in 2024#after everything he’s done#all the growing#they like to whittle Izuku down to a helpless child who can’t find it in himself to stand up for himself#even though canon Izuku not only tolerates Katsuki’s moods#he appreciates him and understands him#and finds joy in being around him#literally I get it if you see them as platonic only#that’s so super chill and an excellent dynamic#but people throwing hate at bkdk shippers only ever out themselves as not understanding or comprehending or even knowing the source material#at all#on the surface Katsuki yells at izuku for literally nothing and it definitely rubs you the wrong way if you are only paying surface level#attention#but after dvk pt 2 he literally only yells because it’s familiar#it’s easier to respond that way than to cope with the guilt that’s eating him alive whenever he sees how happy Izuku is just to be around h#he’s flustered#he’s got a crush#but doesn’t have the emotional intelligence to understand what it is or how to deal yet#Katsuki Bakugo is a flawed character who puts in the work to change and if you’re not acknowledging that you are not paying attention#anyway#lol the post a while ago that said ‘if you ship bkdk just admit you hate Izuku and move on’??????#lol I love him so much AND I ship bkdk because canon tells me that’s what he wants#at least I’m paying attention enough not to think he has to be babified
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themyscirah · 8 months ago
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Started thinking about the Amanda Waller + Ben Turner relationship again.... fuck, I'm gonna need a minute
#I JUST- SHDIAUDJSHDSHEYEYRYRYRY guys. guys#i know none of you see my vision and thats okay. i will make you see my vision. i will force you to see my vision. i will-#like jesus fucking christ oh my god. its so interesting and gives me so many emotions and just!!!#i know im not making sense bc none of my moots are sui sq fans and also like half of the content fucking me up specifically here is in my#head because i cant stop thinking about my absolute power fix it au but like!!!!!!!#also the fact i have a fix it for a comic that isnt out yet is so funny to me. its literally fucking real though. god knows we need it#may my own content carry me through the dark times (extreme villain waller arc)#anyways this fucks me up so bad you dont even know. someday ill actually explain it#dc hire me to write a suicide squad ongoing PLEASE. i could do it so good it would be so fucking good dc PLEASE 😭😭😭😭😭😭#also like this isnt me shipping them btw. like 110% not that. just to clarify.#i wouldnt even call it a friendship bc like. theyre not friends really. he has the most equal dynamic with her i would say but it still isnt#equal. shes v much his boss even though they have an understanding and respect there#like she believes and trusts in him much more than anybody really even himself. like she sees the good man and the leader even when he#doesnt. but she isnt nice about it. and there is a lot of conflict between them when there needs to be#like as much as ben is “wallers man”--the team leader she wanted from the beginning before rick flagg pushed his way in#ben i would say is still a very moral person even when lost and unsure of himself and his goodness (which is like one of his main things)#like i feel like while amanda can lean very into a “the ends justify the means” mindset in her worse moments and do bad things to get#herself out of a corner ben has like a deep and meaningful understanding of how the choices of your methods and how you act can weigh on you#like even though he was brainwashed and whatnot (thats still the story right? i cant remember) he holds a lot of guilt and baggage over his#actions and i think is able to temper amanda's worse tendencies in terms of that by calling her out when he recognizes that behavior#idk. i just really think that amanda waller and the suicide squad as a whole has lost its way without a more moral authority presence there.#like someone who can call her out and keep them more on track. which i really thing ben is and could be#i just very much am interested in their dynamic and how that would look like as equals and how i think they could help each other.#which ofc is what my wip is about and revolves around#blah#sui sq
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puppy-the-mask · 2 years ago
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So I've been thinking about Stratum; Alternate Route and I usually think about Ave and the kids but I haven't really expanded on how her loved ones might feel. Like just imagine you’re Rant for a minute, You’re 15 and you’ve lived isolated for the last 2 or so years in a heavily boobytrapped house with only your older brother who only visits sporadically due to his work (who you can’t even leave the house with in case someone sees you two together, for your own safety) and your best friend through those 2 years, a Human who has to leave regularly but has a scheduled visiting routine that you look forward to and rely on- walking with her being one of the only allowances for you to leave the house(Mutt didn’t let him at first but Rant was very convincing and wouldn’t give up- threatening to start telling people he was Mutt’s little brother and other such things until he relented, though he was totally already doing it regardless- he just didn’t feel bad about it after getting Mutt’s approval ^w^). 
And then she suddenly stops showing up
Rant Spirals
He’s trapped alone with his thoughts and wonders what he did wrong, if she’s mad at him- even though she seemed normal when she left, maybe something came up? Maybe she’s just late? It gets BAD, days pass, then weeks, then a full month passes until eventually once he’s cried all his tears and screamed his voice raw and is just so utterly exhausted- for the first time he feels resentment for his once best friend- in the second month resentment becomes hatred as he decides that she’s left him. He doesn’t know why but she abandoned him just like he’d feared- part of him whispers it’s his own fault but deep down he just knows It’s All Her Fault. She’s the one that fucked up, leaving him behind is gonna be the worst decision she’s ever made. And he’ll never forgive her for that. 
A year passes more lonely than ever, his resentment hardening into a hard shell around his soul that makes it easier to keep others away. He still gets quiet when he remembers that this time of the month is when Ave would stop by but he’s starting to stop noticing- only really feeling the stings of hurt when it hits the month she first left him. Mutt vows to rip her apart for what she’s done to his brother, stealing the vibrancy he used to exude despite the circumstances.
And then a froggit shows up at his doorstep
This Froggit immediately starts questioning him- but when he retreats and lets the traps do their work he finds that- while the first dusted- more take it’s place as his home is invaded by a wave of small froggits, all led by a lone distorted figure. A Froggit on two legs wearing a cloak of black feathers, just like Ave used to wear. And when it finally stands before him, looming over him as he cowers in the corner, it demands that he tell it where it’s sister is. The conversation that ensues Guts Him
Ave has been Missing for the last year and despite Anty looking high and low, sending their froggits to every corner of the underground and the forested mountain above they can’t find her. And now they need help, anything he knows about her whereabouts or any possible leads- or if he’s had her stowed away somewhere running from her responsibilities to her family. Which is what Anty had initially assumed, begrudgingly stating that if she had run anywhere down here, she’d run to him. And boy doesnt that sting? He’d honestly assumed the worst of her and come to find out she hadn’t abandoned him- she’d been taken… She’d Been Taken From Him. the words ring in his head as he numbly stared for a minute- letting it all process as the burning fury he’d felt at her betrayal is suddenly doused in gasoline. All that hatred and rage is now put towards a new purpose, making whoever Dared to steal his best friend away from him Regret They Were Ever Born. He decides that the only way to make up for all the time spent hating her rather than searching he has to be the one to find her. He has to save her or he can never forgive himself, he sometimes wonders what she’s doing at that moment as he falls asleep. He hopes she can sleep well but that same part that before had blamed him for her loss tells him that the longer he spends in bed the more she’s hurt, that at any moment he could lose her forever if she’s not already dead. And a secret third part tries to convince him that she really did run away, that Anty and the rest of her family were abandoned too- who in their right mind would stay underground when they could just walk through the barriers to freedom? It whispers that it’d be so much easier to hate her again than grieve her loss a second time
#Stratum; Alternate Route#Rant(oc)#Purpfell!Sans#casual conversation#Genuinely- Rant is one of my favorite characters to psychoanalyze#there's just so much to him#he's a sweet ball of unhealthy coping mechanisms and i just wanna hold his hand- tenderly smooch the corner of his socket and say#'babygirl you've got issues'#'you are not mentally stable'#it's ok though we can get through this together#he's both relieved when he sees her again but their relationship will never be the same#they've both changed too much#they'll still love each other again- just in new ways that fit them better#and he's also devastated to see the state she's in after Fell's experiments#whenever she starts to open up about what happened to her he literally can't be there for her- he has to leave the room he just can't-#handle it#he knows it's shitty of him- not being there for his best friend after a life changing traumatic event because of his own guilt#but any mention of the labs makes him want to throw up- he feels selfish but Ave assures him it's okay and he can see in her soul she doesn#'t blame him- he can see it hurts a bit but she doesn't blame him which just kinda makes it worse#he wishes she would- he still feels bad about hating her but even if she found out (from Mutt) how he'd felt after her disappearance#she still wouldn't hate him#she's become a much calmer person- compared to what she went through everything else just seems inconsequential. And it's not like Rant had#any way of Knowing what had happened to her- she rationalizes it and just can't bring herself to hate someone she so genuinely loves#memories of him are some of the only things that kept her going- he was one of the things she lived for#Spite may be a powerful tool but without the right motivation what's the point? How is she going to survive to spite the world if there's#nothing in it to drive her to want to keep living?#other than to annoy fell but that gave out a year or so in when the pain outweighed the satisfaction of seeing him annoyed at her continued#existence- she played it up like that was her only source but really she wanted to see her family- she wanted to show the kids how a real#older sibling treated their little brothers- she wanted to live for the people she loved#and she'd be damned if she let anything- especially this cocky ass toothpick- stop her from completing her goals
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h4ndwr1tten · 5 months ago
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inspired by a tiktok
imagine you and satoru had gotten into an argument. it's already been at least two hours since it—satoru has seemed to move on, but you're still mad and sensitive.
both of you are in bed by now. satoru watches some reality show on the tv while you mindlessly scrolled through tiktok with your back facing him. satoru sighs, then the tv is shut off. he turns to you and attempts to speak to you.
"goodnight, sweets," he chirps, sounding as positive as he could, hoping it would show that he's moved on and that he's okay with you. "i love you."
you don't respond, not because you didn't love him, but you still weren't in the mood to speak. he knew you loved him though, right?
"i love you," he repeats louder, waiting for you to return those three words. again, no response.
he puts his hand around your waist to steady himself as he tries to take a peek at your face with a smile. "hello? i love—"
"i love you! can you stop?!" you snap, shrugging him off you and furrowing your brows at him. although you finally said it, satoru looks anything but relieved and satisfied. the grin he wore to try and make things better faded, his face falling and his eyes softening.
you turned away from him once again and he followed suit, pulling the covers up to his cheeks. he mutters, although a little muffled, "not right now you don't."
it's quiet after. the way you snapped at him and the way his expression morphed into one of hurt and his comment made you feel extremely guilty. were you being petty and holding the argument over his head? you don't even remember what you had argued about.
you quit basking in your guilt and sigh, shutting off your phone and turning over to him. you think he's asleep, but his breathing hasn't evened out. propping yourself up on one arm, you peer over at his face. your hand is on his bicep, gently rubbing up and down. he pretends to be asleep, but you know he can hear you.
"i'm sorry, 'toru. that was really mean of me. i love you so much. we can talk tomorrow, 'kay?" you whisper, placing a lingering kiss to his cheek. you give him a few more pecks as well as another apology before laying down and wrapping your arm around his waist.
you kiss his shoulder blade as you spoon him, then feel his hand run over the one on his stomach. he turns over to face you, making sure your arm never leaves its place on him. you both stare at each other for a minute, apologies being exchanged in the silence and through your eyes. satoru kisses your forehead and you lean into him a little more. he leaves one last kiss on your lips and holds you a little tighter.
"i love you, meanie."
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uravitypng · 8 months ago
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ex bf!gojo new girlfriend looks and behaves suspiciously like you
ex bf! gojo compares his new girlfriend to you
ex bf!gojo just so happens to buy his girlfriend the same perfume and clothes that you own and wear frequently, it's just a coincidence though
ex bf!gojo talks about you when he's tipsy to geto and shoko about how much he misses you, he forgets about it the next day
ex bf! gojo tells himself that there is no need to unfollow you on social media, you ended on good terms so its okay when he stares at your photos for hours wishing you were next to him
ex bf! gojo will sneak downstairs after his girlfriend has gone to bed and lifts up his shirt and holds it in his mouth to stop any moans of your name coming out as he touches himself over your pictures
ex bf! gojo has kept all photos of you together and your explicit photos too. he knows it's wrong to keep nudes of an ex but it's not like it's some regular ex girlfriend, it's you
ex bf! gojo doesn't let his girlfriend use his phone because then he'd find that the home screen is a photo of you and him
ex bf! gojo imagines your face while sleeping with his new girlfriend. he doesn't feel any guilt, it's the only way he can get hard. though he still misses your plump body underneath him, tummy rolls, your warm wet cunt and how soft you feel
ex bf! gojo has given up on teasing and making flirtatious comments to his new girlfriend because she always reacts differently than how you would react, so what's the point if it doesn't remind him of you at all
ex bf! gojo cringes when his girlfriend moans or just talks too much in general
ex bf!gojo swears he's over you and everything is okay (that is as long as you don't find a new boyfriend)
ex bf!gojo smirks when he sees you in public with your new boyfriend. he thought he'd be mad but your new boyfriend looks like the lesser hotter version of him, the resemblance is still there though. you obviously are still into him.
ex bf!gojo confidentially comes up to you both, starting to make a conversation with you and leaving out your partner. you notice but can't seem to care as you didn't realise how much you missed satoru until you saw him again
ex bf!gojo confidence boosted even more than it was after seeing your new boyfriend as you pay attention to what he says with that cute bashful smile on your face that he loves so much
ex bf! gojo knows you'll come back to him soon, it's inevitable by the smile on your face that day. until then he'll wait, picturing you in bed and breaking up with his girlfriend when you come back
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based on this short i wrote
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innerfare · 2 months ago
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You’re Jealous
 Summary: You get jealous of someone else in his life.
Characters: Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Ace, Sabo, Law, and Kid
Genre: Slight Angst // Fluff
CW: None // SFW
——— 
Luffy:
He never told you Boa Hancock was in love with him, and when you find out, you have to remove yourself from the situation before you have an emotional outburst and start something with the Pirate Empress. The problem is, you don’t even know which emotion will spill out of you. Finding out the world’s most beautiful woman, and a powerful Warlord, no less, is desperate to marry Luffy is a whirlwind, to say the least. Luffy can seem clueless at times, but his emotional intelligence is through the roof, and he picks up on what has you upset almost straight away. He knows to give you some space, and when he senses you’re ready, he approaches you with a handful of wildflowers he picked. He doesn’t really say much, just pulls you into a hug, presses a few kisses into your cheek and temple, and says in your ear, “you’re my girl.” 
Zoro:
He didn’t mention Perona was also at Mihawk’s castle for those two years until a few months after the crew gets together. He tells a story that features her, and you realize there was a woman keeping him company. Your heart drops into your stomach. Zoro insists he didn’t mention her because he didn’t think she was relevant; the only thing Perona did those two years was annoy him. He’s actually the one who won’t let it go, not you (even though you are pretty jealous). Whereas you’d prefer not to talk about it, Zoro is wracked with guilt because he’d never considered the whole thing in a relationship context. Him fretting constantly over it actually heals your jealousy because you realize you’ve never seen him panic over the prospect of hurting anyone else’s feelings. 
Sanji:
Even with a third eye, Pudding is stunning. And Sanji almost married her. It was before you two were together, but listening to the stories from Whole Cake, hearing how close he came to marrying another woman, knowing she really did fall in love with his kind heart and wonderful cooking, turns you into a little green monster. You know you shouldn’t feel jealous of a woman you’ve never met before, a woman Sanji chose not to marry, but you can’t help it. Sanji is completely shocked that you would feel jealous over his relationship (if it could even be called that) with Pudding, though after thinking about it some more, he does realize why you might be jealous that he had a fiancé. His solution is to bring you a bouquet of roses and walk you through the dark details of his life, telling you things he’s never outright told anyone, so you understand the special place you have in his life. 
Ace:
He collects people without trying, and often times, without realizing, either. Ace thinks he’s just making friends, but you see the way the women he laughs and shares drinks with are drawn to him like plants to the sun. He promises them freedom and adventure (and he has a very nice laugh), and you can see how it excites them. You don’t really mind it, knowing Ace well enough to see the way he holds those women at arm’s length, even if he seems close with them (such is the magic of Fire First Ace). But Yamato makes you jealous. It’s not hearing the way they laughed together but hearing the way they fought that gets to you. You know how Ace lives to fight and even just roughhouse, you know how he’s a rough and tumble guy, and you worry you’re not tough enough. Should you be punching his arm when he makes a joke? Should you be trying to trip him out on deck? What should you be doing? When you finally come clean with Ace about what’s been bothering you, he actually laughs. “If I wanted to be with someone who gives me hell, I’d be sleeping in Marco’s cabin every night. Besides,” he says, scooping you up in his arms, “I like being able to manhandle you.” 
Sabo:
Sabo is a flirt, and you knew that going into your relationship. It actually doesn’t bother you when he flashes that charming smile of his at someone else or swoops in to save a damsel in distress (a speciality of his) and even serves to entertain, especially on the rare occasions his flirtations are rebuked. What does bother you, though, is his tight relationship with Koala. You know it’s ridiculous to be envious, you know Koala would sooner saw off her arm than kiss the man she considers her irksome big brother, but they’ve known each other since they were little kids, and Koala has been through so much with Sabo that the pair have such a close bond. It’s not the angry kind of jealousy that bubbles up in you when Koala mentions something about Sabo’s past that she assumes you know but you don’t, just the sad kind that you try to keep to yourself. Surprisingly, Sabo notices, though you don’t realize until he hugs you from behind and mumbles in your ear that he’s glad you’re the only one who knows he has a skincare routine, his silly words diffusing your mood and acting as the exact affirmation you needed. If it’s not enough, though, he’ll happily prove his loyalty to you by challenging Koala to a karate match, though.  
Law:
Dr. Law and Dr. Robin sure do get along well- so well, in fact, you can’t help but wonder if they are better suited to each other than you and him. Even if they didn’t have such good chemistry, it would be impossible not to feel a touch of jealousy toward the archeologist. She’s intelligent, beautiful, fiercely loyal, a member of the Straw Hats, and has an impressive bounty that she earned even before she became a pirate. Needless to say, you find yourself brooding when the Robin brings him a beer and sits down beside him to discuss the immune systems of fishmen, a topic both are rather interested in. Of course, you’re interested in that, too, thus the reason Law realizes something is wrong when you don’t participate in the conversation. He ends up excusing the two of you and taking you to bed, worrying you had too much to drink, the thought you may be jealous never once occurring to him. You end up not saying anything (many thing in your relationship with Law being unspoken) and just sleeping it off, the fact that he excused the two of you proof enough of his loyalty. 
Kid:
He doesn’t ever talk about his first love, Victoria. In fact, you didn’t even know she existed until Killer got drunk one night and began speaking of his dearly departed. What he didn’t mention was that Kid, too, had been in love with her. It only comes up the next night when you mention it to Wire, who mentions it was the death of his first love, Victoria, that put Kid on the war path and united the first four members of the Kid Pirates. Realizing Wire messed up, Heat chimes in to say, “he’d do the same for you.” But you’re not convinced, mainly because Kid never told you any of this. It tears you apart, leaves you tossing and turning for nights on end, until you finally burst into Kid’s workshop one night ranting about how he doesn’t trust you and holds you at arm’s length. “Heat says you’d do the same for me, but-” Kid cuts you off and says, “I wouldn’t do the same, I’d do worse. Much, much worse.” And from the wicked gleam in his eye, you’re inclined to believe him. 
———
Hope you enjoyed it! If you want more, you can check out my masterlist here!
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spooky-something · 4 months ago
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To the people saying "I do it because they're/it's hot, but I'm also trans!", "I do it because they just have traits (they're 'feminine') that make me think that, but I'm also trans!", etc., you do realize you can still fetishize and push prejudice/negative stereotypes within the community? Do you know how many people have headcanoned men as trans because they're just a wee bit feminine and they too were trans men? I'm going to be honest, in my experience, it's been a vast majority. And that bothers me. It's become so normalized, people don't even care, even in their own community. Men can be feminine, trans or not. It's gross to pin the label of trans on a man solely because they don't fit the convention, as all you're doing is fueling the fire of this problem. I know we want more representation in media, but instead of half assing it, or really just creating sick caricatures of us based on what the cis-gender people have decided are the norm, maybe we should actually put effort into our headcanons, or even... Make our own representation instead of seeing someone like, I don't know, Armin from Attack on Titan, and because he has longer hair, a softer voice, a smaller frame, and isn't the stereotypical male, claiming "Oh, he's trans!". There are times it works; me personally, I headcanon Dipper Pines as transgender, not because he's feminine, but because I can understand his struggles with masculinity and what makes him who he is; of not fitting the agenda while still being a man; of being dysphoric and insecure, but also learning to accept who you are. Not to mention just reality, identical twins have to be born the same gender, and while it's possible they might not be identical, the creator of the series himself has actively supported the headcanon. That's an exception. That's different. To explore the character via a headcanon, that is one thing. To just stick it on them is another. If you want representation, either make your own characters for it, find/support media that have it, or actually attempt to reflect the transmasc experiences in a headcanon as accurately as possible (tied to making your own, accurate representation). Stop just placing labels on a male with long hair and a more androgenous voice and going: "Aw, he's trans! 🥺" Without anything more.
hey. hey you.
look at that character you’re headcanoning as a trans man.
are you headcanoning him that way because you think it’s interesting, or because he’s a twink and acts kind of feminine?
if you write about him, do you treat him the same way you do your other characters, or is he distinctly separated?
can he handle himself, or is he always the damsel in distress? do you have someone bigger and stronger than him always save him?
do you make him act more childish or confused? is he super innocent and needs someone wiser to guide him?
are you willing to explore what his transness means, or do you just think it makes him hotter?
did you make him trans because you wanted to write him as the bottom? is he trans because you wanted him pregnant without "technically" writing mpreg?
are you willing to headcanon big strong men as trans men? old men? not stereotypically attractive men? men of color? fat men? disabled men?
is his transness a part of him or do you just treat it is a prop?
on the other hand, is he more than just his transness, or is that all there is to him?
do you include other queer and trans people in your work? how do you treat them in your writing?
how do you treat actual trans men? trans men who dont pass? trans men who do? who dont feel comfortable being perceived as feminine? who present in a more feminine way? who identify as more than just a man? who arent just white twinkish silly feminine men? who are kids, meaning you can’t just sexualize them? who are more than just props to be used within a story to push the plot along?
are you willing to listen to trans men who speak out on their issues, or does that seperate them too far from the fantasy you’ve concocted about them?
how do you treat trans men?
#trans#transgender#transmasc#transmasculine#transman#transmen#trans men#actually trans#Transgender headcanons#HCs#headcanons#Also no shade to the person I RB'd this from /gen#I just needed to put my input because I see this mentality EVERYWHERE#I genuinely don't think that's what their tags were insinuating /gen#(Wanted to rant about how much I fucking love the Re-Animator fandom for the trans Herbert HC because WOW /pos)#(They get so in depth with it and it makes me so happy as a trans dude who super relates to and loves Herbert West)#(It's such a flip from the usual. Sure; Herb might not be the MOST masculine guy. But neither is Dan. The HC isn't there because of him#“being feminine”; since he's not that either. There's depth to him and I fucking adore when fandoms give that dedication.)#(Where as one I dislike is Victor Frankenstein; even though I adore and relate to him just as much as West. For his character; it doesn't#work. He may not be super feminine though within the story it just wouldn't make sense to incorporate. Though this is me personally. There#are times it genuinely works; though the majority just slap the label on him without reason beyond the fact they just like him and want rep.#The main issue with it being the period. They attempt to write Victor the way he is with his parents referring to him as he is; but in that#era that would be totally UNACCEPTABLE. If you want trans Victor you need to include transphobia; internalized and external. There has to#be dysphoria; religious guilt; life on the line; etc.#YOU NEED TO ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND THAT THIS HC IN UNIVERSE WOULD BE DANGEROUS AND HOLD A LOT OF DEPTH. That's why I hate it; it's execution.)#(For similar reasons; while I personally HC Victor as Gay I hate when people forget the history and context. I will always ALWAYS include#the fact he's closeted and internally homophobic/in denial when writing genuine pieces of work about this HC. We need to continue doing that#Like. That is another thing. Not just transmasc#but ANY LGBTQIA+ HC. UNDERSTAND THE CHARACTERS; CONTEXT; AND PURPOSE FOR THE HC.)#I'm at max tags so I'm done yapping. Thanks for listening.
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voidhope · 1 year ago
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The Other Woman
(Part 2 FINALE)
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Synopsis: Miguel had left Y/N for another version of his old wife in hopes of getting his old life back. To only realize the mistakes he’s made.
Link to Part 1
Pair: Miguel O’Hara x Spider!reader
Warnings: very heavy mental health, ANGST LIKE A LOT OF ANGST, ALL OF THIS IS ANGST, mentions of death/almost dying, long term establish relationship, cheating, swearing, therapy, physical fight, blood, feral protective miguel?
A/N: hello again! this one is more heartbreaking and longer than the first part oof… Very low dialog up until closer towards the end! wanted to just get through telling the story itself and the emotions. It’s just a very heavy storyline!! I want to say thank you so so much for showing so much support for part 1 i had no idea it would receive that much attention :O !! i wrote this out kinda fast as i didn’t want to loose the momentum of the idea. so apologies for any mistakes! all feedback is greatly appreciated ~
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You used to make Miguel coffee everyday, with one cream two sugars, and he would nag about how he hated the taste. It was to your liking, not his. As you would sneakily take sips out of his mug while working next to him. Why didn’t you just get your own coffee? You claimed you could never finish it and just wanted a taste out of his. Miguel would roll his eyes at you every time he caught you but he adored it. He had secretly grown to love the way you made it and had become his only way of making coffee after meeting you.
Now as this version of his older wife made it the way he is suppose to like coffee, bland and straight, he found himself bothered by it. Going as far to correct her even though this was what he had been claiming to have missed so much. He was now seeing himself teaching someone else how to love him like you did…
He was only a shell of the man he was when he had Gabriella. Even though the copy of his old wife has her same personality, the relationship couldn’t be exactly how it was before because he had changed so much. You had helped him become whole again. His tastes and likings had all switched to everything about you. The charm he found in his old wife doesn’t hold a light to you now and he was getting frustrated. He had wanted this so badly. He felt like those babies who whine and cry wanting to eat a lemon and once they get their way they realize the sour truth.
Miguel never truly realized what it was like to loose you until three weeks after he told you the truth. Over the years the idea of losing you terrified him but he only ever thought of it being in death. He never considered separation when everything was perfect for both of you then. There were times he believed that you were made just for him and he treated you like his queen. Which you truly were to him in his spider society. Why would he ever throw that away? Look at what he did.
He gave himself every excuse in the book before you knew he was cheating on you. ‘This is only for research.’ he would think every time he found himself back in that universe. As everyone knew he was so serious about his work, obviously this is just him getting to know more about certain universes and canons. Lyla was the only one seeing straight through him knowing where he was actually going. Things kept tumbling and the more he found out about the place and spent time with her the more his grief and yearning returned. It was all just there, so reachable.
There was a time his mind tried to snap him back out of it while cheating on you and made him realize the guilt. The first time he kissed this woman you were there in his mind. He came home right after and held you without saying a word. You never questioned him, just showed him comfort as much as you could. Lightly stroking his back, you never over stepped or pushed him when he was vulnerable with you. He only closed his eyes and held onto you tighter processing how you were always too good for him. He was converting to living two different lives; his old self during the day and then coming home to you. He didn’t want to let go of either at the time.
Once he found out he could safely have Gabriella again was when he became distant with you. The shame of using you for research made him become stoic. He didn’t want to admit how wrong he was treating you. All while you were always being so loyal and trusting towards him. Things were slowly slipping through the cracks and he knew he couldn’t up keep it. He wished he could have had that conversation with you so much differently but it was over. Now he had his old life back, a dream he had his mind set on.
He ignored the shakiness in his hands when he returned to her after letting you go. ‘It’s all for the best.’ is what he would repeat in his mind as a mantra. His new girlfriend truly had no idea who he really was or what his background was. Miguel continued to feed her lies to the point where he even started believing them himself getting too lost in avoiding what he’s done. He believed he was happy as he spent time with her.
When she got too close to finding the truth after finding his wedding ring in one of his pockets, he set her off course from it by revealing his spider identity and taking her to HQ. This was the day that everything felt like it was crashing around him. Being reminded of his marriage, having to face his friends with his new lover, sharing his personal spider life, his work with someone who wasn’t you. He excused himself rushing to an unused office room while his chest was tightening. Pupils dilating as he realized it was his first time having a panic attack.
Nevertheless he continued to push it all aside and act completely normal with his girlfriend. He was feeling your absence the most while working. You had became an extension of him. He had trained you from scratch and you helped him build this society he has now. You knew the ins and outs of everything and fought perfectly alongside him. Now that he was on his own he let his girlfriend be there for him when he got stressed, but there always was a knot in his stomach he never could get rid of.
The more his mental health ate at him late at night the more he considered searching out for you. There was no closure between both of you and he never got to listen to how you feel. What was your opinion on all that happened? Do you hate him?
He wanted to speak with someone so badly but he dug himself in a hole too deep. You were gone, he was lying through his teeth to this poor woman he’s kept for some fantasy, he felt too ashamed to say anything to his friends, he would rather die if all his workers found out how big of a piece of shit he is. Anytime Lyla tried peeping a word that wasn’t work related he would snap. He had pushed everyone away and now he just felt alone.
Regardless he would wake up in the morning and swallow all his dark feelings. He would remember his grief of when he lost his family and it would put him back in the moment. He has another chance. He was happy with the direction he was going in now.
Right?
The day he found out you were at HQ he felt his heart stop. He was mid mission trying to call for Lyla but she wouldn’t answer. Frustrated he tried looking into what was happening only to see her busy having a conversation with you. It felt like something took over him when he opened a portal in less than a second. Without thinking nor wasting a heartbeat he rushed back. Just a glimpse of you, maybe just to hear a word out of your mouth. The feeling of having you back in HQ was making him ignore all his insecurities. How he would coward at the thought of trying to reach out to you before. You were in his home, your home, and the thought drove him wild.
You were already long gone though. Lyla stared at him not saying a word. The quietness in the room making his ears ring but his thoughts were screaming in his head. He stood there frozen still trying to recollect himself. He was the one that left you, what is wrong with him?
Again he went back and forth in his own head trying to convince himself ‘You wanted this.’ but if he did why is he feeling like someone just killed a puppy in front of him? Why is he here fighting with his self if this is really his dream? Why did he try chasing after you? The wounds of his past grief were too deep. He never took the time to properly heal and now look at what he’s become.
“Miguel, what’s this?” He was startled turning around seeing his girlfriend holidng your watch and skimming through the divorce paperwork addressed to him.
There was no more hiding, no more lying. He swallowed hard even though his throat was dry. He let everything he had kept away rise to surface. It hurt him to see the beautiful face his old wife shared contort into such anger and pain while finding the truth.
She didn’t stay, but for some reason he wasn’t upset. Though he longed for his daughter, he knew it would have never been the same now. He finally closed the door on his past. His heart had made the choice this time but it’s too late. Now grasping onto the divorce papers left by you, emptiness spread through his soul.
You on the other hand did not find yourself crying by yourself on a rooftop for long. The shift in the air from your arrival alerted the local spider-man immediately.
“It didn’t work out, did it?” He crouched down next to you as he noticed your watch gone and your missing wedding band.
Peter Parker knew both you and Miguel. Your husband had come to do many rounds of research in this universe when he took you. Eventually offering this Peter a spot in the society, which he politely declined due to just being busy enough here. You both never spoke much but always had an appreciation for each other.
“Do you need a place to crash at?” He continued while trying to get you to look at him. Reaching his hand towards you.
You had absolutely no one and you had been gone so long you couldn’t even go back to the little you had. When you met Miguel you didn’t hesitate to never look back and now it filled you with regret. How naive were you to put all your trust and reliance on him.
You took Peter’s hand. You were ready to start your own life and be your own person now.
Peter Parker was nice enough to let you stay with him as long as you needed it. You both had became ‘besties!’ as he would love to poke at you. The first month with him you were a disaster really but he showed you how he liked to cope using his spider abilities.
The first thing he helped you with was getting a new suit. Your old one resembled too much to Miguel’s and you felt suffocated every time you put it on. Peter had taught you to use your current emotional pain on whichever sad little villain was making trouble out in Brooklyn that night.
“Come on, we got multiverse spider-woman helping me keep these streets clean now!” He would taunt at the men while watching you easily take them out a little bit too aggressively. His feet kicking up and down while he sat on the side of a building watching you. The crime rate did go down a bit once word got around how strong your punch was. Peter’s just happy he can now spend some nights to himself.
You got yourself a job at the mart on the corner to help cover bills for Peter and save up. You were grateful enough the owners never batted an eye when you would disappear during a shift to either suddenly go cry uncontrollably or beat the shit out of someone at a nearby robbery. Next thing you were enrolling yourself back in university, wanting to finish that degree you never did.
It wasn’t too long that some of your older spider friends would stop by to check in on you. Seeing them was difficult sometimes, you were internally itching to ask about Miguel. Things were going okay for you on a very slow path of breathing step by step. You never wanted to feel that hurt again and so you very well pretend like Miguel didn’t exist if you could.
You couldn’t ignore the hurt resurfacing when you passed couples on the street. Or when you found yourself going to fidget with your wedding ring just to remember it’s gone. You can’t just move on from a relationship that was so deeply apart of you and lasted so long. You gave everything to him and it will take you much time to get yourself to build trust again.
After two semesters, you finally had your graduation. All the things you learned while in Earth-928 paid off as you barley had to study. Passing top of the class, you immediately got an offer for an internship opportunity with Alchemax and was able to get an introduction tour of the building beforehand.
What you hadn’t realized was that Alchemax had been looking for that girl who snuck into their offices a couple years ago. Who made another dimension’s spider appear and then went missing herself soon after. They had kept as close tabs on you as they could and how foolish you were to think your little break in wouldn’t come back to bite you. The moment you stepped foot back in their building, it was over for you.
Miguel had spent a whole year in much deserving therapy. Nothing could stop the embarrassment he felt when Peter B signed him up with HQ’s best spider-therapist after 3 months of constant out bursts. No one could come near the man when he felt like he had lost everything. Those first initial months were difficult for everyone around him.
Therapy did help, he hates to admit it, but it was a very rough ride. He finally was able to understand his deep inner term oil and heal his issues but moving on from you? No, he could never.
You were the only one who had sincerely stood by his side, always rooting for him. He never fell out of love with you despite of everything that he did. He just pushed everything down too deep and was blinded by obsession. Till now he could never deny that he still loves you. Maybe if he just would have went to therapy years ago instead of acting out on unsolved grief none of this would have happened. The guilt always making him toss and turn at night.
He would have big temper tantrums when he would find his coworkers going to visit you time to time and not sharing any details. He needed to know if you’re okay. Did you already move on? He longed to find you and speak with you but he knew he wasn’t ready yet. He was so self destructive and this was what he deserved.
Everyone avoided him completely when he overheard someone saying you were living with Peter Parker. Fighting crime with him and having a cute little home life. Peter followed you around now like a puppy. Miguel did not take the news well at all. Let’s just say, the large bill replacement for his monitor screens was what snapped him out of that rage.
He also wanted to strangle Hobie Brown every time he saw a glint in his eye when your name was mentioned around. Yet Miguel couldn’t hate the kid either, as Hobie was one of the people to try help repair the damage he did to you. How badly he just wanted to hold you and shield you in his arms from any other people taking you from him as if he wasn’t the idiot to let you go in the first place.
Everyone’s big, powerful, scary boss was really just a grumpy, wallowing-in-self-pity, sensitive, lonely man now. Mention your name too much to him and watch him start crying or take it out on whatever he could find nearest to him. He would some nights scroll through your wedding photos while listening to your last tracked log with Lyla. Your words cutting through him deep like long sharp knives. How he urged to go tell you it was all wrong and how guilty he was for making you feel like this.
Despite it all, he still believed in being the best of the best. He used his work to distract himself from his sorrows, to become numb. Even though his divorce paperwork were set next to him on his desk to remind him the pain. He never signed it.
“We can’t tell him!” Jessica gritted through her teeth. Small group of spider-people were hovered around Lyla taking in the new found information.
“Her canon events have always been uncertain, we can’t just stop and fix this one?” Gwen Stacy suggested in hopes.
“We have never prevented a canon event of hers or the people involved in it. It could be even more dangerous than a regular canon.” Peter B spoke grimly.
“When ‘as danger ever stopped us?” Hobie spoke up.
“Everyone get your gear.” Lyla added to the stress of the situation.
You couldn’t open your eyes properly with a strong blinding light being held above you. Arms and legs secured on top of a metal surgical table. You could feel the warmth of blood scattered on certain parts of your body, slowly starting to dry. It was a mix of yours and the people you had tried fighting through to get out of here when you realize the trap you were reeled into. Different people in lab coats poked and pried all around you while you were tied. Your mask was thrown on another table and your suit had large gashes across it.
Soon you also could feel the presence of Peter Parker being brought to the room, thrown slumped in the corner breathing heavily. They had gotten you too good. They knew everything and had planned this so detailed.
“Now you’re going to help me open the multiverse.” Kingpin loomed around you. All you could feel was searing pain as a laser aimed right at your chest.
Miguel was already staring out the window to the glowing night lights of Nueva York when he saw a big hole appear in sight of the skyline. His eyebrows furrowed while he was trying to process what he was looking at. It wasn’t a second later when all alarms started going off in his office.
“Qué carajos?” He exclaimed seeing the alerts of a possible universe collapse. “Lyla! Why wasn’t this being taken care of already?”
“I already sent people.”
“Then what are they doing?” He yelled. His confusion and anger only furthered when he saw a red alarm for a canon event.
“Canon event?” He whispered to himself. He always knew when these were happening, there were none scheduled for today. There was no way he would let one passed him, it’s not like this could magically appear? His jaw dropped in realization… a new canon event.
“Lyla, tell me the truth. Why wasn’t this reported to me?” He made the atmosphere turn cold. She knew he already figured it out.
“A new canon event was received this morning being given to Peter Parker. Of Y/N L/N’s death.” The words from Lyla made Miguel’s body go still. His eyes raced side to side while he processed it.
“No!” He roared, a fist slamming into the nearby desk. His massive strength breaking it in half.
“Boss, you can’t go on this mission only using your emotions.” Lyla warned. However Miguel was already half way stepping through a portal to find you.
He appeared, watching his team struggle to shut down the machine causing the collapse. Outnumbered by the amount of Alchemax puppets. A different kind of rage filled him as he saw you, for the first time in a year, suffering. Miguel was never one to act reckless while on missions but he had no plan here and just ran off the pure adrenaline the fight or flight had hit him with.
His claws tore into the backs of his enemies as he jumped beast-like across the room. Not hesitating spilling blood across the wall while he took everyone down as fast as he could. His team could only watch wide eye with an unsettling fear as they saw Miguel lose himself to his spider sense. While he fought they took the opportunity to take apart the machine.
Miguel was panting heavily, pupils blown wide glowing red, and fangs dripping with venom as the room slowly silenced. Kingpin laid on the floor slowly trying to drag himself after being beaten to a pulp. It was over. Peter B stopped him from doing anything further. Knowing Miguel would kill the man, Peter B let the team finish up to give Kingpin to authorities. Miguel turned frantically to look at you seeing the other spiders step away. Peter Parker was hunched over you in tears. Miguel fought the urge to snap at Peter and grab his hands off of you.
Your vision was too blurry and everything felt like it was burning. A shape that seemed too familiar came into your peripheral vision and you tried to push yourself up.
“Miguel?” Was the last thing you croaked before slumping back passing out. Miguel catching you in his arms before you could hurt yourself further.
“It’s her time.” Jessica spoke behind him. Yet he was refusing to let go. He had never defied the way the timeline worked since he created his society. He would never break the rules and you both had promised each other before not to. If there was a situation like this you both agreed to save the universe first. How stupid was he to think he would listen to that now facing it in-front of him.
He never got to tell you what happened. He never got to apologize. He never got to tell you one more time that he loved you. Even if you in result just spat in his face, at least he was able to talk to you one more time. You were never a placeholder or someone to fill a hole in his heart. His whole heart belonged to you and he couldn’t let you go thinking you didn’t mean anything to him. No matter the consequences, he needed to tell you.
“Call all the teams to control the damage of a possible universe collapse.” He turned to Jess with Y/N tightly in his arms. The spider-people watched speechless as he opened a portal and disappeared.
Two weeks you laid motionless in the HQ’s medbay.
The clean up after breaking the canon was a little intense. They were able to get it under control as the event started to fade from your timeline once you were returned and starting to heal in Earth-928.
The spider society would remain silent near the medbay. The lights always being dimmed and hushed whispers between staff to not bother the distressed O’Hara. He refused to leave.
Your Peter Parker had now joined the team, much to Miguel’s dismay. Everyday your friends would come in and check to see how you were. Some telling stories about their day or any gossip updates you missed, in hopes that it would get you to wake up. They would ignore the gloomy Miguel who was basically glued to the seat next to you not saying a word to anyone.
At night Miguel would play with your fingers and softly stroke your hair all while pleading “Please don’t leave me, please don’t leave me. Por favor mi alma.” He knew it wasn’t his place to beg this after what he did, but he didn’t mind the words falling on deaf ears.
Miguel hadn’t eaten in days, he felt too nauseous from anxiety to even try anything. Pavitr had done the favor to bring you and Miguel’s favorite empanadas from a small street vendor downtown. Hoping to get Miguel to at least try the food before he ended up in a hospital bed next to you due to starvation.
You started to blink open your eyes, spots surrounding your vision. You could hear a soft breathing to your right side and you slowly felt your sense come back one by one. It felt like you just had a really rough nap.
“Oh my god that smells so good.” You moaned, sitting yourself up to try to look at where the smell of food was coming from.
You were met with a wide eyed Miguel holding a box of empanadas. His jaw slacked open acting as if he’s seen a ghost looking at you. Confusion hit you first for a second and then you start to panic.
Why was he here? Why was your ex-husband sitting right here? You started to push away from him and Miguel caught on to your panic.
“No, no, no mi amor stop.” He tried calming you. “You’re hurt, you’re going to open your stitches.”
You suddenly remembered everything that happened right before you blacked out. At that moment you forgot the hurt you had towards your ex-lover. Gathering yourself you just stared at him. “I’m suppose to be dead.”
Tears rimmed your eyes. Why did it feel like life just hated you so much?
Miguel engulfed you in his arms as you started to cry. You didn’t care right now. You had ached for this feeling again, so alone, with the comfort Miguel used to bring you. Just for a moment you could pretend like how it was before.
“We can’t do this Miguel.”
He knew what you were thinking. He didn’t want to let you leave his arms yet, as he let his self hold harder and push your head closer into his the crook of his shoulder. The tickle of your breath on his neck, he just wanted this forever.
“She left. Almost a year ago.” He let out to you. A big weight coming off of his chest. You pulled back from him and looked up into his eyes while you watched him avoid your gaze. You felt bad to say you could feel a bit of satisfaction bubbling in you.
“Good, she deserved better.”
“So did you.” Miguel sighed playing with his hands. Your eyes widened when you saw the ring still on his finger. He let you stare. “I-I could never. I couldn’t.” The emotions struggle to come out of his mouth. You understood him though. You always did. Placing your hand on top of his you just nodded.
“Please stay here.” He whispered.
Miguel had broken you in so many ways. Yet he almost ruined another universe just to keep you alive. You both needed time to talk and coming out a coma right now isn’t good timing.
“I finally became my own person when I went back in my universe. I enjoyed my independence.” The words pelleted at him. He could only hold his breath as he waited for you to continue. “I’ll stay… but not for you.”
It wounded him deeply; but he deserved it. This place will always be a home for you even if he wasn’t apart of it. Before he can tear his gaze and turn away, you reached out to hold his face close to yours. Your fingers gently rubbing on his cheeks as you slowly look at him properly after so long. You let your thumb smooth over his frown lines and he leaned into your touch closing his eyes.
“Let’s give us time.” Was the words you blessed that opened every door of hope he could find. He would take it, he would absolutely take it. He has to fight for you, he has to prove to you. He would do anything but for now he’ll be on his best patiently waiting for you.
Both of you sat comfortably without speaking, only the faint background beeps of the hospital monitor making up for the silence, while passing small glances. For once both of you felt a missing warmth you didn’t realize you needed. Sharing empanadas with each other, just maybe it will be alright…
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The end!!! Thank you so so much for your time in reading my story. i really really was so happy with all the comments and feedback on pt 1 it really meant a lot!!!
i hope this was ok ~ i apologize for how long it was i was thinking of doing another part but just wanted to finish this up. I was in such a conflict how to end this. i hope it wasn’t too cliche or anything i’m just a sucker for very wanty needy dramatic stories. It’s a hopeful ending tho~ i couldn’t pick with just happy or sad.
So many of you had tons of amazing suggestions which I appreciated so much. I was such a mess trying to figure it all out. Many of you wanted to see Y/N move on with another person but I ended up going this route. I used Peter Parker as an obv character in y/n’s universe but it’s not tied to any specific one and you guy can think of him more to your liking if you want to!
If any of you would like a small drabble or imagine of another route of this story or just anything angsty/possessive and rarwrarwbarkbark miguel. I’d be glad to help lol!! My request box is wide open~ i had so much fun writing this!
TAG LIST!
@hoseokslefteyebrow @sleepyamaya @typicalife-101 @jenniferdixon05207 @geraskier-thots @nuttyrebelflower @youcantseem3 @ihateuguys @archangel1206 @southprw
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gojoest · 2 months ago
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BURDEN and REVERENCE — gojo satoru
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MDNI, pregnancy freak!satoru, f!reader, established relationship (married + reader is expecting), pregnancy, lots of pet names (love, pretty one, baby, sweetness, my beautiful wife), fingering, humping, cumming in pants (<- hinted), wc: 1.5k, not proofread, dividers by @/cafekitsune
what your fingers can’t, your husband’s will ;)
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“Stupid Satoru”, with a shaky breath you mumble under your nose. “It’s all because of you—", you whine to yourself.
Grabbing onto the sink in the bathroom with one hand to support yourself, you desperately try to make the other one work its way (and magic) between your legs, albeit ineffectively.
You can’t properly reach down and take care of yourself now — courtesy of the swollen belly that your very husband brought upon you. No matter how much you bend and shift, your baby bump is still in the way. Your fingers alone prove unable to make it to the spots in you that are itching to be touched right now.
“Stupid, idiot, bastard— “
“I love you too”, a familiar voice reaches your ears — the words are spoken with a smile that’s imbued itself in the timbre of it. “You look beautiful”
A sigh breaks past your lips. “In distress? — Sure”
Your husband — and the father of your unborn child, Gojo Satoru — stands tall at the bathroom entrance, looking at you with lovesick eyes, admiring your naked body with reverence. “I’m sorry”, he breathes.
It is not an apology for being late though.
Times like this one are the raw example of the changes he had forced on your body.
There are certain things you can no longer do by yourself now that your belly’s grown quite a bit, or you can — but at the cost of great discomfort, you must admit. Tying your shoelaces, reaching certain parts of your body when you shower that require you to bend down, or when you try to get off on your own — all those innocuous activities have suddenly become quite the challenge now with his baby growing inside you.
At times like this, you need him — and he is more than happy to help and serve you.
Truth be told, he bears a little bit of guilt for burdening you like this, but it is a guilt that he likes to let plague his conscience…
…because he’s completely enamored with this state of you — pregnant, swollen with his seed that is blooming in your womb like a flower, the you that is reliant on him to wash your feet, to rub your ankles, to paint your toenails, to fuck your depths your fingers can’t reach — now those are the parts of your body only he has access to; not even you.
You need him, and he loves that.
Slowly rolling his sleeves up, he inches closer to you. “Let me take care of you, my love”
To him, you look so beautiful in your naked glory on display. Leaned against the sink with a hand between your thighs, your swollen breasts like two open hands awaiting to be grasped by him, your round belly sticking out towards him — the view alone makes his cock stiffen in a heartbeat. Fuck, he mouths the word. The pressure in his groin is festering, really fast.
You free your hand now, knowing that he’s here to take charge of things, and once before you he takes a hold of it and brings it to his lips. Starting from the knuckles he paints your fingers with tender kisses, licking the remnants of your slick on them. “You should’ve waited for me”, he hums into your hand. “You know I love joining you — don’t keep this from me”, he pouts a little.
“I know, but…”, you knit your brows. “I don’t want to be a burden to you like this, all the time”
Maybe, you’re just having another hormonal episode. Maybe it’s just that, you think, because Satoru’s never given you a reason to feel like you are weighing on him.
Eyes squinting, Satoru tilts his head in confusion. His hips push forward, causing the erection under his slacks to rub against your belly — on purpose, to prove a point. “Do I look burdened to you, pretty one?”
You chuckle. A-ha— point proven, you see. “That looks like a huge burden if you ask me” — your remark drags a short laugh out of him.
“Mind if I share some of it with you then?”, he grins smugly.
“You say some of it, but you really give all of it to me”
“It’s ‘cause you take it so well, baby”
You slap his chest — Ah, what a dickhead — and smile at him.
His lips charge towards you and peck you softly on the forehead. “You are never a burden to me”, he whispers against you before he slowly starts to drag his body down — on his knees, in front of you. Kissing every inch of you along the way — the tip of your nose, your lips, your chin, the length of your neck, your breasts, your beautiful belly... “Sometimes I fear that I am the one burdening you — with my freakish desire of you, all the time”
“So you admit to being a freak”, you ruffle his hair softly as his cheek remains pressed against your baby bump. “You flatter me too much”
“No — I revere you”, he gazes up at you, his lips longingly kissing the skin on your belly as he takes both of your hands into his and places them on his shoulders. “Here — hold on, and relax your thighs”, his hands travel down between the plush of your legs and slide them open like they’re curtains. Your nails dig into his clothed flesh, earning a low hiss from him.
“Stay like this for me, love — stay open for me to reach you” — soft pecks on the flesh that separates his lips from his unborn follow each word that seeps from his mouth, as if to ease you into his finger prodding at your slit along with his thumb rubbing tender circles on your sensitive clit. His other hand rested against the bottom of your belly.
“Satoru”, you moan softly — but demandingly — at his touch. Clenching your cunt to try and suck him in — and you do, although not entirely. You force just about the tip of his finger into you. “I am ready”
…and you’re impatient, he smiles.
His middle finger tardily inches into you, urging his cock to twitch under his pants at your warmth and at the wetness soaking into his skin. Fuck, he curses quietly under his breath — his hips involuntarily buck forward with need, his clothed bulge pressing itself on the lower of your limb; he is humping your leg like a dog.
Fuck, he must be a sorry sight for you right now — he thinks. And here you are, being groundlessly anxious about burdening him… With what exactly? Have you ever seen a dog burdened by its owner? Isn’t it the other way around? — he ponders, while his finger sinks deeper into you.
“More, ‘Toru…”, you whimper. “Want m-more..”
Grunting at the way your muscles contract around his finger, Satoru slides it in further — repeatedly reaching in as far as possible, curling and drawing back. “More what, baby?”, he coos. “More depth—“, he rams his finger in, causing you to jolt and squeeze your hands harder around his shoulders, mouth hung open, voiceless and unable to even gasp. “Or more fingers?” — he pulls away, only to push back two of them in.
You gasp, barely able to draw in a breath of air, thighs squeezing around his hand. His fingers are thick, and they are long. Two of them almost feel like a cock inside you.
“Tell me, love — which one is it?”, innocently he asks, while his fingers maneuver inside you, not so innocently. A self-satisfied look on his face that you want to wipe off with the back of your hand, but all you can muster is a whimper of pleasure washing over you.
“Oh? Is it both, baby?”, he continues coaxing you smugly. “Is this how you were trying to fuck yourself? Is that it, baby? Am I doing it right for you, sweetness?”
“Fuck, S-satoru—“, you cry. Moving your hips in sync with his fingers, your round belly hits his face with each motion, clawing low grunts from his throat and desperate humps around your leg as he slides his throbbing bulge up and down on it. He was soaking his pants by now, but you were his sole focus. He’d clean his mess later, with you in the shower — but still, by grinding on you like a dog he wanted to let you know the effect you were having on him.
“I am, baby — I am fucking you”, he croons like a sweet addition to the squelching noises of your sopping pussy. “Cum on my fingers, my love. My beautiful wife — cum on your husband’s fingers”, his glazed digits pumping harder, hammering into you fast and filling the bathroom with echoes of labored breathing and loud smacks of his hand against your soaked cunt.
“C-cuming” — you manage to utter through rapid breaths, pussy pulsing and your walls grabbing more at his fingers as the wave of pleasure washes over you.
Your hands relax their grip and hug around his neck as you look at him with weary eyes, lips panting heavily still. “What a good girl”, he speaks to you. “Now come—”, his hand retreats from your folds, causing you to slightly flinch as he pulls away from your sore, sensitive cunt, “Let me clean you up, and maybe — burden you a little”
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