#I haven't one for them yet!

[pokimoko]

Asexual bird? Please

How about two asexual birds?

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[micamone]

hewwo

[seventh-district]

Making Incorrect H:SR Quotes Until I Run Out of (hopefully) Original Ideas - Pt. 6

[Pt. 1] [Pt. 2] [Pt. 3] [Pt. 4] [Pt. 5]

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

finally at that age where i'm thinking i should get a tattoo. not bc i feel strongly about it, just seems like a waste not to. i've got so much skin i'm not using

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Congratulations to TEAM CHEESE for winning the popular vote on the Charcuterie poll!

[kaiserouo]

(prev | next | first)

got a corpus engineer on board

he really likes warframes

[ffcrazy15]

There's this way of doing female-ness in Christianity that I call "pastel flower journal Christianity." I've got nothing against pastel flower journals per se, but for some reason people believe it's the end all and be all of female spirituality, and I think it's a real disservice towards young Christian women.

One of these days I'd like to start a prayer-and-reading group or something for young women, but there would be no floral themes or over-focus on how "God thinks you're beautiful even if the world doesn't" (a true statement, but it's wayyyyy too often the focus in women's spiritual reading). Instead we would be reading:

Seneca's Letters from a Stoic

Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning

Sheed's A Map of Life

Portions of Pieper's book on leisure

Kreeft's Three Philosophies of Life

Guardini's The Lord (or something similar)

Therese's Story of a Soul

and some select portions of the Nicomachean Ethics.

(Also they're all getting the porn talk. I don't know why we give the porn talk to young men but not young women. There's this idea that women don't use porn and they only need the talk about "guarding their heart." Bullshit. There's porn on the YA shelves of Barnes and Nobles and before that there were bodice rippers. Young women need the porn talk too.)

Every young woman needs to be getting a basic grounding in virtue ethics, logic, natural law, scholastic philosophy and Biblical hermeneutics if they're going to get by in today's spiritual landscape. Enough faffery and emotionalism in young women's spiritual education! Give them real food to chew on, not pasty sentimentalism!

[demon-blood-youths]

"Hmmmm..." Ink is interested in this conversation regarding the dessert.

Ink listens to how Mrs. Pott's husband made the yogurt. Ink had Greek yogurt before. It does taste a little sour but this taste sweet! So how? What is the secret? She sees the hostess look over to Vergil as if he knows.

The secret to the dessert?

A sweetener.

A sweetener???

Ink listens attentively as she takes another spoonful. His guess is that the chef uses honey or puree. Now thinking about it, the yogurt taste like the honey or puree that Vergil talked about. She remembers when Hellmare and Ophelia added honey to their teas to substitute for sugar. Fosh with his coffee if there's no sugar and — Oh! Jaron uses honey to make cornbread and pies, seasons it on ham and beef and uses honey as a recipe for barbecue. It actually made sense. Jaron might say the same thing as Vergil just had if it does taste honey.

But not blueberry puree...

Ink isn't sure if Jaron can guess that. Though that is another thing that makes sense. Blueberries can be in yogurts and they pair very well as they are sweet.

Ink didn't notice. Wait..didn't he order blueberry tea?? It seems Vergil knows what he is saying because she looks over to Mrs. Pott and sees her face. Vergil hit a bullseyes.

When Ink gets back home, she will tell Jaron about this no doubt. The young home chef told her that he finds Vergil's cooking technique very interesting and tries to recreate it as a way to practice and improve. He finds someone, he can learn from! If only he and Ink knew that Vergil has a competitive streak. If they did, they will welcome it! Jaron loves a challenge.

"Vergil, you should be a food judge on a cooking show, you know." That was a compliment. The way he spoke sounded like a professional chef who knows his food and knows how to describe it. He should be on a show, Iron Chef!

"Also Mrs. Pott, this yogurt tastes closer to ice cream and I really like it." Most of the time whenever Ink wants to eat something close to ice cream, it's either yogurt or a milkshake with lots of milk. She can't eat ice cream because of her throat since ice cream is very cold for her. This dessert is a perfect dessert for her!

When Mrs. Pott left them again, leaving them two to talk once more. after Ink told Vergil about the fractions. It seems like Vergil is getting it. She goes to answer his questions.

" Yes, but we don't take control of any turfs in NYC since my friends live all over the borough. But we live in a place called Wyckoff we named it ourselves. The island had an old name but I can't remember it and doesn't sound cool. An island that is near almost all of the boroughs...I think." Said Ink, "There's barely any fractions in Brooklyn but nothing major like the other fractions. But we usually hang out there and Kali tells us to check on it once in a while if something comes up." Said Ink.

"Also I don't know any fraction in Staten Island. I heard from Kali that they keep to themselves so me and my fraction haven't met them yet." She told him. There is an unwritten path when it comes to making a fraction. It's the purpose behind it.

There are five paths; Save, Rule, Change, Conquer, or Destroy.

The Lupins kick out the criminal gangs as they are tired of the drugs that plague their homes and gang-related crimes that dragged innocent people into the crossfire so they got rid of the gangs out for the sake of their neighborhood, changing it for the best.

Knights of Darkness want to save their neighborhood so they do nightly patrols to make sure to protect people during the night.

The Upstander Campaign take care of their neighborhood in Queens so they want to rule over it to make sure to look after the people they care about and make sure to help anyone out living there.

Elite Demon Anthem looks over the neighborhoods on their turf and makes sure things are peaceful and must eliminate the things that threaten the peace by conquering other criminal activities.

With these fractions, the demons are born and raised there, knowing the people and things there and wanting to protect them. What they cared about are what bridges humans and demons together when it comes to family, common interests, and struggles. The paths can change or overlap depending on the situation. In a way, the fractions do create their vigilante circle. They don't rely on the authorities or the government. They ignore the city government's orders since they felt that they shouldn't follow a government that failed to use its power properly.

Why should they listen to a governing body that is weak and undermined led by talking puppets?

This is the same case for Demon Blood Tears. the fraction does whenever that makes them happy and free. The paths can be chosen for their best interest. But the main thing they wanted is...is to be free and happy.

"But besides that, we also know fractions out of state." Should she mention him? No...Vergil has to know in case he goes there.

"Just two! There's Ethan Gaol in Philly, Pennsylvania with his Active Seeker Tribe, he's smart like you, Vergil, and very serious!" Ink smiles.

Then it comes down to the last one.

"There's one in New Jersey." Ink takes a brief pause at that. "Uhhhh...Matt and The Lovely Horrors." She leaves it at that.

" Those are the fractions I know!" Ink grins. "Four here in NYC well...actually six if you included us and that fraction-we-havent-met-yet or-know-about in Staten Island and two out of state." Ink said as she counted her fingers in the air. Eight fractions that Ink knows about so far.

"So yeah!

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒏𝒂𝒍 𝒔𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒆 𝒇𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒐𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝒉𝒐𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒅 upon the Vanguard's bright gratitude, mayhaps she was reminded of a daughter that was no longer in her care.

“According to my husband, the secret is in the lessening of the sourness of the yogurt. Of course, he wouldn't share how exactly he did so, the man is as secretive as a clamp when it comes to his recipes.” Her gaze moved to Vergil at the last part, of which the cambion responded with a subtle arch of snowy brow as he poured himself another cup.

“ It's the sweetener, ”  Vergil informed Ink in a low tone and fey seriousness, head dipped slightly forward as though imparting a grave secret. “ If I must hazard a conjecture, it is very likely a natural substance between honey or puree. ”  His gaze flitted momentarily toward his own tea. “ The odds lean more toward blueberry puree, taking into account the ingredients incorporated in the overall menu. ”

At that very moment, the name of the youth's resident chef, Jaron, flashed in his mind. Totally not in a competitive context. 𝘊𝘢𝘯 𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘥𝘶𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘺 𝘣𝘺 𝘰𝘣𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘶? 𝘛𝘳𝘺 𝘮𝘦!

Mrs. Potts pursed her lips, indicating enough hint for the son of Sparda that his culinary conjecture was exactly on point.  “You didn't hear anything from me. I don't want Maurice to neglect his duties in the kitchen in favor of debating with a customer. Again.” Her last word elicit yet another arch of his brow, this time accompanied by a twitch upon his lips to hint a shadow of a smirk, bespeaking the fact that such a scene had happened before in one of his previous visits.

“ Entendu quoi, madame ? ”  The cambion asked in her native tongue, his accent an impeccable finesse laced with jest.

Mrs. Potts shook her head fondly then addressed Ink again. “My husband would like to know he is most flattered by your appreciation for his cooking. Let me know again when you have finished, dearies.”

Vergil nodded his assent and Mrs. Potts left the duo to their privacy again.

Now, returning to the matter concerning other fractions.

"Okay, so here's what I know about fractions. There are four in each part of the city. I think I need a map.... Or napkin."

His left eye raised in amusement toward Ink's creative endeavor of turning a napkin into a mapkin, but he remained silent out of respect and curiosity to wait until Ink finished.

"Okay, so you know the boroughs of New York City, right? There are five: The Bronx, Brooklyn, Manhattan, Queens, and Staten Island."

The firstborn tilted his chin lightly to the side as he took a sip of his tea, affirming that Ink had his undivided attention. He vaguely recalled the name of those human-crowded boroughs from his travel decades ago, granted he had never set foot in any.

Knights of Darkness, Joshua Star. Lupins, Fin Reer and Amhed Ammit. Elite Demon Anthem, Kali Vin-Shia. And finally, Guam The Great Upstander Campaign.

He mentally took note of the name of each fraction and their respective leaders, with deliberation that his path might cross with any of theirs in a similar manner it had crossed Shdwkyz's and Ink's in the past.

Reflecting upon the details Ink had imparted above, he couldn't but envision these fractions as a manner of vigilante circle, considering the choice of term Ink used to refer to them as and the outlawed activities they are involved in. They also came across as comprising non-human individuals, as evidenced by the Lupins and the fact they could hold their ground against the members of Ink's fraction who were teen-turned demons. Some sort of unspoken yet abiding respect seemed to be held between them that the battles Ink recounted resembled more of a rivalry than actual antagonism.

Which brought new elements of curiosity thereafter, whether these fractions fought for the sake of their own "turfs" as Ink put it, or for everyone indiscriminately -humans and non-humans- in their vicinity. The latter seemed far-fetched given humanity's general aversion and apprehension against anything inhuman, yet Ink's account stood that this Guam, of whom she is seemingly most fond of, with his campaign of a fraction has managed to secure the presidency of his city nonetheless.

𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘶𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘺 𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭.

“ I surmise that the Demon Blood Tears, ” he pronounced each word making up the name of Ink's fraction in a firm, steady cadence, “ –is too a fraction of adjacent jurisdiction with the rest you have enumerated? ” Either Brooklyn or Staten Island, mayhaps? For those were the two boroughs whose domineering vigilante fraction was yet to be mentioned.

The cambion took another sip, recalling Ink's brief albeit conspicuous moment of out of character earlier and couldn't let go an inkling something was still left out pertaining to these fractions.

[schemelin]

Palmer and Altairus

[crabsnpersimmons]

I wanna give them all a lil kiss :3

ooou! kisses for the boys!

Moon: no no no! please wait! i need to clean up clean up!! and then! then...! w-w-w-we should get to know each other first! this! this is too sudden!!

Sun: I do not understand.

Eclipse: Guess you'll have to settle for just little old me for now!

[heavensenthearty]

Do you guys ever think how Zuko is the only person who proves Katara that he won't leave her again?

Katara has abandonment issues. That's why she was so angry at Hakoda when they saw each other again, that's why she became so anxious when they had to separate, that's why she lashes out at Zuko himself, bringing up her mother's death. It's implied throughout the series that she has been abandoned physically and emotionally by the people she held dear.

Of course, Hakoda acknowledges and apologizes, but we don't see him making the effort to show Katara that he won't make her feel that way again—(which is probably due to the pacing of the story, although it's still a poor writing choice, but I digress).

But we see Zuko making an effort.

After betraying her, he is determined to make it up to her by any means. Even when she is openly hostile to him, he remains respectful and protective of her. He is constantly showing kind and heroic gestures. He goes out of his way for it in TSR to help her confront her feelings of grief and resentment, and saves her life yet again during Sozin's Comet. He expresses he has her best interest at heart through words and actions.

Thinking about all of that makes their relationship and personal character journey even more beautiful.

[captain-astors]

The Crown Prince

[caleb-crow]

Here are some sticker designs I'm making to be sold at cons and they're all so AAUGH I promise I'll think of a Wyll and Gale one at some point sobs

[akinchi]

FALL🍂🍁-ing for you!! ♡

[seventh-district]

Making Incorrect H:SR Quotes Until I Run Out of (hopefully) Original Ideas - Pt. 4 - Nuthin' but Boothill Edition

[Pt. 1] [Pt. 2] [Pt. 3] [Pt. 5] [Pt. 6]