#I haven't actually seen any of the leaks myself. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ilikekidsshows · 9 days ago

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Have you seen the Sublimation leaks? Pretty much the entire episode has been leaked by now and people have made a 19 minutes super cut xD I'm asking cause I don't want to send an ask about Sublimation if you haven't seen it and don't want to be spoiled

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The entire episode came out while I was busy answering the ask game and I checked it out to respond to this ask properly . But, for future reference: unless it’s a show I’m liveblogging it’s open to spoil.

Okay, so the episode went just like I predicted with Marinette easily forgiven. Even before I saw the whole thing, I saw the collected clips and I could smell the upcoming Marinette validation in the final scenes. And yet, just like this show does time and time again, it's still worse than even what I prepared for. Of course the episode couldn't just be "Marinette gets forgiven without her having to do anything", of course her saying sorry and making reparations aren't just things she does after being forgiven, like she's the one rewarding her victims for their good behavior of forgiving her. No, they had to go even further and end the episode with Marinette's victim coddling her over her "friendship fears".

This episode is so manipulative in how hard it leans on the audience to pity Marinette throughout. Like, seriously, her Lucky Charm calls her the villain? The amount of self-pity there goes way beyond all the other cases of Marinette acting like this that have come before. Little miss “if I make myself miserable asking me to make up for what I did wrong would be cruel” now has her own superpowers take part in her self-flagellation just to make sure no one with the actual right to be mad at her gets there first.

Marinette always does this. She makes a mistake and rather than think of a way to make up for it, she calls herself the worst and whines. “The Lucky Charm pointed her out as the villain” is not Marinette facing consequences or the episode treating her as in the wrong. It’s once again Marinette being her own worst critic whenever she does something wrong, to make sure the audience feels bad for her first and foremost so that they can instantly forgive her even when she never actually learns. “Marinette loves to learn,” my ass. “The villain was me” is just “I’m the worst Guardian” with a new coat of paint.

The important part is that the person with the right to be mad at Marinette, Sublime, had already forgiven her before Marinette even had her little villain realization. Just because a character says something that’s right on paper doesn’t mean it’s being presented as the correct perspective in the episode. It depends on that framing I’ve been harping on about. So, while Sublimation rightfully chewed Marinette out, all the scenes before her Akumatization have her acting entitled, cold and harsh, calling Sublime’s dad a failure and getting on his case for coddling her when he merely offers her a balancing hand and not taking Sublime’s opinions on things into account. In all these scenes, her husband talks calmly while she’s snapping; the writers intend her to come across as misguided or downright unreasonable. This makes it so that her yelling at Marinette comes across as her just being unreasonable again and like we’re meant to see her as being mean, especially because Marinette also looks the saddest in the episode specifically when Sublimation is yelling at her. To further make Sublimation's points worthless, her power to make people the best version of themselves doesn't work on Marinette because she already "perfect". If she's already so perfect, then why does she keep doing this shit?

The only characters calling Marinette out are herself, in her typical “I’m the worst” fashion, and a “jerk-coded” character whose opinion we aren't supposed to respect. This was already visible in the leaked scenes and made it very clear to me that Marinette wouldn’t be suffering any real consequences for what she did, her feeling guilty is meant to be the consequence and punishment. And I was proven correct. When Sublimation is dealt with, no one is mad at Marinette anymore, because being mad at her is what villains do. It doesn’t matter that Marinette claims she was in the wrong because she does it in an overly exaggerated manner that the viewer won’t take seriously. It doesn’t matter that the other characters have a “this is going to end poorly” attitude about Marinette’s nonsense, when they’re clearly pitying Marinette and not her target. It doesn’t matter that Marinette gets called out when the character doing it is the supervillain in an altered state of mind we’re supposed to see as unreasonable.

This episode is so disrespectful towards Sublime. No one voices concern over whether or not she would need to be protected from the downfall of Marinette’s shenanigans, all Tikki, Alya and Trixx are concerned with are that Marinette will come out of this smelling like roses with that “mistakes are an opportunity to earn and Marinette loves to learn” nonsense. Yeah, Marinette loves mistakes because no one is ever concerned with the people those mistakes hurt! Sublime should not be getting treated as a teaching aid in universe, when she’s supposed to be a person Marinette wants to befriend. Like, it’s clear she only wants to befriend Sublime for control freak reasons to make sure she isn’t talking to Adrien behind her back, considering how obsessed she is with that thought, but that is still the stated end goal.

Speaking of, Sublime should not have wanted to be friends with Marinette no matter if Adrien told her she has difficulties making friends, her reaction to Ladybug shattering her legs should not have been “I’m okay!” She should want to stay away from Marinette’s clearly unbalanced ass. She should have been pissed at Ladybug, it was her right. But, no, she couldn’t possibly be upset about any of that because being upset at Marinette is what bad people do and Sublime is a good person and good people always put Marinette’s feelings before their own. It’s a good thing Marinette’s Miraculous Ladybug can fix any damage caused by anyone on the same day a villain fight happens or otherwise she couldn’t have rewarded Sublime and her family for being such good people who forgave her before she could even apologize or make reparations.

Also, if I got cornered by my new friend’s stalker girlfriend alone in a dressing room, I’d book it, not offer to talk about whatever she wanted to talk about to make her comfortable with me. Everyone in Miraculous is either a master of emotional control, or they get Akumatized, except, of course, for Marinette, who can do whatever messed up thing she comes up when she's having an emotion and she will be instantly forgiven because she was just being emotional. Well, in the real world, sometimes, when you do messed up things because of your emotions, another person's emotions make them yell at you for it, and they'll be right to do so.

The fact that Marinette did all that and is getting rewarded with the friendship she wanted at the start of the episode and more coddling from her victim just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Marinette’s magical powers of super convenience fixed her mistakes as a superhero and her super perfect therapist boyfriend's damage control saved her civilian reputation, not her own actions. And she still dared to be upset when she heard that Sublime had been talking with Adrien behind her back, because god forbid Adrien spend time with people who are not Marinette or a part of Marinette’s posse. What is Marinette teaching kids in this episode? That it’s okay if you fuck up and act like a menace as long as you say “I’m sowwy, I don’t deserve to be our friend”. Still keeping up the trend of teaching kids exactly how to manipulate people into forgiving you, I see.

#ml leaks #ml spoilers #ml salt #ml critical #dats chats #long post

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lev1hei1chou · 1 year ago

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Why i believe Gojo could come back

This chapter left us in a devastated state and was absolutely uncalled for, but I personally believe this isnt the end of the strongest sorcerer. There are several reasons as to why (These are just opinions, I could be wrong in certain areas AND personal feelings might make an occassional appearance.)

LEAKS:

This whole panel was obviously made for a reason. And we dont see gojo making a decision. Considering the fact that this is literally THE Gojo Satoru, he's more likely to choose north since there's numerous things left as plot holes. We'll get to that.

Here in this page, he mentions that Toji should've cut his head off to actually kill him. In the leaks, whats cut off is his upper body but not the head! I still can't quite wrap my head around RCT but lets say he's not able to heal himself. You know who can and who would? Yuta and Shoko

Now moving on

"Gojo then bids farewell to everyone." If hes truly gone then why would he be bidding farewell to the fallen comrades? If he's dead then isn't he supposed to stay in the afterlife with them?

Pretty self explanatory

What if Kashimo is going in to distract Sukuna while Shoko and Yuta can heal Gojo?

Now think about this. Gojo is gone, Shoko doesnt fight and who are all left? A bunch of sorcerers who are literally under 20, need guidance and we havent really seen any panel where they actually plan how they're going to go about in the whole battle. Gojo isnt a want, hes a NEED, a NECESSITY.

Remember, Toji who was dead long ago pretty much appeared out of nowhere in Shibuya Arc LMAO so- yes

WHAT IS THIS EVEN SUPPOSED TO MEAN

Theres no way Gojo would be left sealed for 3 whole years, brought him back just to kill him off in the most disrespectful way possible.

Besides, things that Gojo wanted to do haven't happened yet.

He wanted to tell megumi about his father

He wanted to see his students surpass the strongest sorcerer, aka him

He wanted to get rid of the higher ups

He wanted to properly mourn suguru (for which kenjaku has to be defeated but oh well)

He wanted to save Megumi

How'd we know what Gojo said here.

On to the other aspects of why killing off Gojo was a bad idea. We barely ever saw what happened to him, and an off screen death to the so called strongest sorcerer is just senseless. Gojo is a fan favourite. People started watching the show for Gojo (myself included) and there's a high possibility of multiple people dropping the manga since he isn't even there anymore.

The ending could take a turn for the worse considering the fact that Sukuna is just overpowered and Kenjaku hasn't done anything as of now. Unless there's some heavy plot armor I dont think the students even stand a chance against Sukuna and Kenjaku. Both outcomes- the students and others emerging as victors or sukuna emerging as a victor could make the ending absolutely terrible and this might as well top AOT for being the manga with the most disliked ending.

Gojo Satoru is the mentor for multiple; for Yuji, Nobara, Megumi, Yuta, Maki, Panda, Toge and the third years and its necessary for them to have someone to teach them. It is one of Satoru's wishes to see his students surpass him, which can happen only when he's there since there's nobody else who is actually capable of teaching them and leading them into the world as actual graduated sorcerers.

So Gojo dying will make the manga take a turn for the worse. Killing him off in the middle makes absolutely no sense and is just plain bad writing. People are prolly gonna kill me for this but lets admit the truth. Hyping this battle, building up tension just to finish him off screen is NOT good writing.

Anyways. There is factual proof of Gojo potentially making a return. Maybe at a cost, like him losing his power, losing his "strongest" title or anything else. He may not even be the same anymore but honestly as long as he's back, I'm fine.

It happened previously, and could happen again.

Satoru Gojo may not be the strongest and the honoured one, but may be reborn as a newer version of himself after getting humbled. Lotuses, as mentioned above symbolise rebirth, which is why i believe this is not the end.

A small bit of advice for gojo fans: Go watch haikyuu or highschool babysitters as a form of self care <3

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tomorrowillbeyou · 10 months ago

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Thursday 2005 demos

These are some early demos for A City by the Light Divided which were stolen from the band and leaked in September 2005. I haven't seen anyone post about them so I thought I would myself. Below are lyrics and some extra context. I have tried to transcribe the lyrics as best I can but I have pretty bad auditory processing disorder so there will inevitably be some errors. If you spot a mistake, let me know and I will edit the post. The formatting and details of the lyrics are mostly based on the CD booklet.

Blog post

After the demos were leaked, Geoff made this blog post on the Thursday website on September 21 2005:

1 - At This Velocity - Lyrics

Hey friends-

SO… we see that the early demos we did for the record have FINALLY leaked. In this day and age anything and everything that passes through a computer eventually ends up being available to everyone at the click of a button. Many of you know that Thursday is one of the few bands that actually supports file sharing!!! We love the fact that music is available to everyone whenever they need it. We have always told our friends and 'fans' that they should download any of our albums that they can't afford or can't find in stores.

These demos, however, weren't ready for anyone to hear. These songs have all changed substantially since those demos and will probably change between now and the recording. Just to help you guys understand these demos, here's a user's guide: 1. most of these songs don't have names because the lyrics are still being written… a song only really becomes a song for us when we figure out EXACTLY what it's about. 2. One of these songs is actually the reincarnated out-take of a song that we cut from war all the time. 3. Andrew had just joined the band as a full fledged member when we recorded these and his keyboard parts were still sketchy at best. 4. There is one song, however, that is much closer to finished than the other's. It's called "At This Velocity" and it's about a crash landing in an airplane on the other side of the world. This song was started when we were in Australia on tour with the Flaming Lips, the Mars Volta and Poison the Well. The first line of the song is, "We were safe, Now we're paralyzed, Suspended in flight…" We hope you enjoy it.

On a related and timely note, we are very excited to announce that we will be heading into the studio with Dave Fridmann at the beginning of October to start on our new album. His work with the Flaming Lips, Weezer, Mogwai and Sleater Kinney has produced some of the finest albums of the last ten years. Dave is one of the few modern producers really pushing the medium and he's one of the nicest guys in the business. We started preproduction on the sixteen songs we've written. In the short amount of time we've been working with Dave he's already pushing us to new musical and emotional ground.

Anyway, thank you all for the love that you have always shown us. These demos aren't really a good indication so try not to listen to them too much (we don't want you to get used to them this way!!!). We're just happy that all the really great stuff on this album is still a secret!!!

Keep checking the website for updates and tidbits.

thanks and love,

Geoff (and all the Thursday boys)

We were safe

Now we're paralyzed

Suspended in flight

At this speed it makes no difference

Where I start and where you end

Or if you sit in an emergency aisle.

We could be dead

Complete the equation:

Our names are X and N

We have no value

In these calculations:

We're placed on a plane,

Pointed straight down,

Traveling at five hundred feet per second,

Five thousand feet from the ground -- how long will it take us to hit?

How fast will we start the disintegration?

No time left - just keep moving

How fast will it take us to hit?

How long till we start the disintegration?

2 - Telegraph Avenue Kiss - Lyrics

We could be safe here, forever,

Floating in the clean blue air.

Somewhere between the sun that gives us light and the ground that puts it out.

And we'll kneel in the aisles

Press our hands together, close our eyes, speak these words so softly into the black box

And it goes:

"Mother, father, can you hear this?

I want to thank you for all the sweetness.

I'm not coming home, we're never coming home."

She's the song that you tried to sing

And the note that you couldn't hit

So you locked her up in a music box

Turned the key on all of us

She spins silver strings in the dark

With metal teeth that ring in her heart

When the cover drops

The world just fades away, away, away

From her, waiting, waiting, waiting for her to say:

It doesn't matter what you say,

Doesn't matter what you think you mean,

You know our love's not unconditional.

A book of matches and a cigarette

A love note that you never sent

You can fold it up but you won't forget

You can strike a match but it still might not light

Now I'm the one that's stuck inside the silver cage,

The bird that can't fly away, clip its wings if it sings

Of the way, the way, the way that it hurt

Waiting, waiting, waiting for her to say:

It doesn't matter what you say,

Doesn't matter what you think you mean,

You know our love's not unconditional.

Doesn't matter what you say,

Doesn't matter what you think you mean,

You know our love's not unconditional.

The music box is open

It's spinning with the room

If you're the record playing, I'm the needle in the groove.

Listen to our song:

You're in my heart,

In my hands

In my lungs.

3 - The Other Side of the Crash / Over and Out (Of Control) - Lyrics

We move like a carousel

Streak lights and mirrors in our eyes

It's time to let this go

Can't stop spinning

Around, around, around, around, around, around, around, around, around, around, around

You know our love's not unconditional

Unconditional

You know our love's not unconditional.

Note: This contains a section from Panic On The Streets Of Health Care City, the "reincarnated out-take" mentioned in the blog post. Panic later appeared on Kill The House Lights.

The lights go down, outside (before our cars collide)

The city silhouettes itself (in forty shades of fire)

Do you know where these lies are leading? I'll meet you there.

I'm covering up my eyes

Before they cover up your eyes

And wrap your body all in white,

And we awake in the light of all the lies

This can't be happening

These sirens are for me, yeah

We wake up

Covered in the marks of all these razors

Racing up our veins

We'll live and learn to love again

Open up your eyes and we'll be safe again

From the razor's edge.

And the hospital ward sleeps

Through the surgery

Hiding needles in the drawer

(for emergency)

While upstairs they sleep

In maternity

Fever and the pitch.

It's a brand new day,

Just to be awake,

This is how it feels

To live and learn to love again

Open up your eyes and we'll be safe away

From the razor's edge.

4 - Autumn Leaves Revisited - Lyrics

The I.V. drips, the days drag on

The anesthetic's not wearing off

Adjust the light switch in the hall

Someone has left it on,

And maybe the x-ray screen keeps it from getting dark

The bulb burns out when it gets too hot

Keep crashing this car (over and over)

I can't keep crashing this car

Still it spins out of control

So hold me close or I might disappear this time

Out of control

We fight currents in the water

When we can't let go of the shore.

We've lost control.

The leaves will fall and so will you

When you do, bury me under them too

Seconds pass, we'll make it through

Eventually we all go home

It won't be long

I live with a girl who’s been waiting

Seven months left till they bring home the baby

He swore he was paying for school

They shipped him over. Now he scatters on the front lines

He swore he would follow his conscience

But done the wrong way follows his orders instead.

When he shoots, he sings this song

But he doesn’t know that she’s been singing it, too.

It won't be long

Until they find a way home

We walk along the wire tied between horizons

You close your eyes like it's nothing at all

Throughout the rise and fall, everything, everything

Changes, I will be here when you die

Did you hear the trumpets play the day your father died?

Did the violins swell those circles under your eyes?

Did you play the part straight like a march?

Or get lost in the beat, thinking and feeling…

Did the drums in the streets make the people dance?

Or fall to their knees from the sound?

Knock the leaves from the trees,

and they fell from the branch?

They looked beautiful

As they hung in the air

Spinning around

Did you float in the air?

Spinning around?

There must be somewhere that cigarettes burn through the night

And the leaves don't abandon their trees to the light

Where the sky's always clear and the summer never ends…

Won't you take me there?

5 - Untitled - Lyrics

The leaves will fall and so will you

When you do, bury me under them too

Seconds pass, we'll make it through

Eventually we all are going home

Note - this didn't end up on ACBTLD, but did make it onto Common Existence as Last Call.

The center cannot hold, the side collapses

Full of broken words, sing the song inside the dark arcade

Color me in city greens

The streets unwinding, spitting flames

Cars around the arteries

We scream and swerve and fall apart.

Everything we love, it falls apart,

And the architect abandons us.

I'll save us from the sky until a feeling burns, you try

It plants a seed of fire that flowers in the corner of your eye

Circular breathing

We'll keep them always moving

Heart attack efficiency,

Erase the figure as it falls.

Everything we love, it falls apart,

And the architect abandons us.

Everything is falling apart.

The city shakes like tired hands

The light divides what darkness mends

Our bodies echo in our plans.

Everything is falling apart.

The wedding starts

The guests appear

The church bells ringing endlessly

The bride and groom are hand in hand

And everything goes as it's planned:

The parents smile,

The priest chokes up,

The organ plays "Amazing Grace"

And underneath the thin white veil

And the people sing:

La la la la, da da da…

Everything is falling apart.

The city shakes like tired hands

The light divides what darkness mends

Our bodies echo in our plans.

#thursday band #a city by the light divided #oh god i hope i didnt fuck anything up ive read this over like 6 times now

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controlmyfeet · 1 year ago

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i still feel everything when you are near - matty healy

matty healy x ex!reader

angst

warnings: exes, alcohol consumption, insecurities, jealousy (kinda?), pining, kissing, crying (lmk if there’s more i need to add!)

a/n: not sure about this. i think the last time i tried to write fanfiction i was 13, so feedback is appreciated but pls be nice lol. also, english is not my first language!

3570 words

it still hurts.

i didn't think it would hurt as much after 6 months, but seeing him in the flesh makes me realize it does. i thought i was already used to it, thought i was actually doing a good job moving on, if we ignore my slump in the first 3 weeks after the breakup, where i would just leave the house for work and groceries (that i would overbuy because i forgot i'd just cook for myself), i think i was doing pretty okay.

i should've guessed he would be in the city. he can't stay in one place for too long; if he has a few days free in between shows, he's going to look for a studio to work in. usually in london, los angeles, or here. most of the time, he ends up here.

but i never know where he is anymore.

i deleted twitter from my phone after 2 months. maybe because of the questions, perhaps because i didn't care, or maybe i was tired of reading all the tabloids and fearing they were true. maybe i care too much. whatever, right? it just means i haven't seen him in a while, even in pictures.

i'm sitting by the dark wooden bar counter when i first spot him. he's standing with charli and george in the vip section near the dj booth, surrounded by people as always. my friends noticed that he's here too, but they haven't said anything, which i'm grateful for. i'd rather pretend it doesn't affect me.

he looks different, though. his arms are bigger, and his hair is longer; soft curls fall over big brown eyes that crinkle whenever george says something funny. he still has that boyish smile.

lulu and bea went dancing and i said i'd join them in a minute. we go to this club every time we're in the city, but tonight it is more crowded than usual. my secluded spot at the bar being the only place i won't be pushed around. still, i feel bad. it's my best friend's birthday, and we came to new york together to celebrate, but instead, i'm drowning my sorrows with cosmos.

"you won't even say hi now?" i hear matty's voice from behind me and turn around, startled. he stands tall and confident as always, but his eyes no longer hold the same energy. here, up close, i can see that his eyebags look more prominent, and his stubble has grown slightly. he looks tired. i don't think i look any better.

"hi," i say, looking into his brown orbs, phlegmatic, as if the butterflies in my stomach aren't going batshit crazy right now "i didn't see you, sorry."

he grins cheekily, "it's alright, darling."

i don't really know what to say. he should hate me, honestly. it wouldn't be surprising considering how we left things, with all the yelling, name calling. with all the broken picture frames. it started with another rumor while he was on tour, another leaked picture. he was so dismissive and vague about it that i just couldn't find it in myself to trust him, and he could only complain about how childish all of it was.

i guess he doesn't, though. they have free drinks inside the vip section. i remember it from when we came here together. he doesn't need to come all the way to the bar for a drink.

"it-it's good to see you," i stutter, apprehensive now. fearing that maybe he really does hate me, and just walked over to tell me how much so. i mean, i would hate him, too, if i could. but no matter how hard i try, i can't. and believe me, i've tried.

matty is standing so close that the loud music sounds muffled now, and the warm, dim light of the bar reflecting on his silky skin makes me want to melt into his arms. so i try to keep my eyes focused on my feet.

he seems to notice that i'm struggling as i fidget with my empty glass.

"can i get you another one?" he asks amicably. my eyes shift from my feet to the glass in my hands and back to his eyes.

"sure," i reply shyly.

he asks a bartender polishing wine glasses next to us for another cosmopolitan. behind the man, shelves from the same material as the counter hold a collection of glass bottles of different colors with labels sporting french and italian names. matty sits on the barstool beside mine. "so…what are you doing here in new york? i thought you hated the city this time of the year."

and it's true, i hate new york during the summer. the concrete buildings seem to make the temperature much higher, and tourists crowd every corner. it feels claustrophobic. the subway also smells extra bad during these months. but i loved being here with him, no matter the season. i loved being anywhere with him.

"well, yeah. but it's lulu's birthday, and she wanted to celebrate it here, so here we are. the three of us."

"bea is here too?"

"she is, yeah."

him talking about my friends is familiar. many sunday evenings were spent on his couch sharing a bottle of red with my newest candle burning on the side. at the same time, i'd tell him about the most recent gossip in my friend group, and he would listen.

the barman places the new drink before me and takes the empty glass. i thank him and take a sip of the pink liquid. it's sweet and sour, and the vodka calms my nerves a little bit. he's staring at my lips. so i lick them clean.

he shifts, and suddenly, i feel his calloused fingertips brush against my elbow resting comfortably over the counter. much more tender than last time; my skin burns where he touches it.

"how's your writing going?" he asks, looking into my eyes now.

i tell him i'm still at the magazine, it's going alright. not a lot has changed since we broke up. but it's less exciting, more monotonous. i leave that part out. and he asks me about my own stuff, poems and essays hidden in my drafts.

it's just awkward small talk. so awkward. like we're just acquaintances. friends of friends being left alone, being civil to each other.

it's also a conversation we've had before. documents on my computer that weren't fitting enough for the editors or that i just wrote on a whim. he used to tell me to publish them either way, to leave the magazine and find people who actually appreciate my work, or to start my own thing. but it would be useless; they're not good enough.

"well, i don't know, it's been a while since i've written anything out of work." i take another sip, just to calm down a little. "haven't felt very inspired lately."

oh my god, shut up– i can't say this to my ex. it's embarrassing, pitiful.

"it happens." he takes my hand and brushes his thumb over my knuckles. i still shiver "you're really talented, love. you should be proud of yourself. i am."

even his praise hurts now; i miss hearing it daily. it's a stab in my chest, salt on the wound. so i just bite my lip and nod. afraid that if i say something, a choked sob will come out.

there's longing in his eyes, and he gets a look like he wants to say more. but his gaze flickers behind me for a moment, and he drops my hand and gives my left shoulder a squeeze, showing me a soft smile.

"i'll leave you be, then. it was nice seeing you, love."

there's a voice in the back of my head begging me to make him stay, but i know i can't do that, not when i recall why it ended the way it did. still, i want to reach for his hand and pull him back to me, just for a few minutes at least. but someone grips my shoulders.

"there you are!" lulu says excitedly, already a few drinks ahead of me. her dark blonde hair messy and her skin glimmering with sweat from all the dancing. bea follows right behind her. "c'mon, let's do some shots, you need to power up for all the dancing you owe me."

"alright." i force a giggle and down my drink as bea asks the bartender for three tequila shots.

a few minutes and many shots later, the three of us are on the dance floor, swaying wildly to the loud, thumping bass of whatever music the dj's playing. just being around my girls makes me feel less anxious, and the flashing lights, plus all the alcohol already flowing through my body are making my mind a bit hazy, which helps me let loose a little.

as i move, i can feel the beat of the music inside my chest, sweaty bodies pushing against me without a care. i even forget about matty for a minute. i don't think about how his hands used to feel on me when we danced together, not at all.

we dance for maybe 30 minutes. until lulu finds one of her many ex-flings, and, as they catch up, bea asks me to go to the bathroom with her. taking my hand, she leads me out of the crowded area and towards the door labeled "ladies' room".

the contrast from the mostly dark club to the bathroom's white walls makes my eyes squint. it's colder in here, quieter. i can hear the stifled bass from the music and high heels clicking against the floor tiles.

as i wait for bea, i brace myself on the sink in front of me and look into the mirror. everything is happening too fast. talking to matty, downing shots, and being dragged to the dance floor immediately. my head is pounding. i didn't have the time to process what is going on tonight.

my ears are ringing, and it feels like all the alcohol has suddenly lost all its effect. instantly sobering up, i grab a paper towel and dab it on my arms and face to try to get rid of the sweat. turning on the sink, i wet my hands and place them on the back of my neck to cool down and try to help with the dizziness. i hear the toilet flush, and bea comes out of the cubicle, running her hands through her wavy black hair. i reach into my purse and pull out my lipgloss, coating my lips evenly while looking at myself in the mirror.

"i'm going to the back for a bit," i tell bea as she approaches the sink next to me.

"you okay? do you need water?" she asks, concerned

"yea- yes, i just need to breathe a little."

"okay, text me if you need anything." i just nod and leave the bathroom. she knows me, knows i need to be alone.

pushing through crowded bodies, i head to the club's back door, leading to a narrow alleyway where the employees usually store extra liquor bottles. it also doubles as a smoking area, so i shouldn't be surprised when i see him as soon as i open the door. tattooed arms flexing as he lights a cigarette, probably not his first one of the night, and i turn back to try to leave before he sees me.

"leaving so soon?" i turn around again and already feel my cheeks heating up. embarrassed, like a kid caught eating dessert before dinner. "you can stay."

"it's okay, i'll go somewhere else," i wave him off mindlessly. he came here to enjoy his cig on his own, right? he doesn't need his ex-girlfriend plaguing his chill alone time "i don't want to bother you, i just need some air."

"please stay." it's not the first time he says this, but this time i do.

with pink-tinged cheeks and heels clicking loudly, i slowly walk down the three small steps in front of the door and move to stand across him with my back resting against the club's brick wall. the warm summer air hits my skin, and i can hear the rustle of the traffic. "you could never bother me." i pretend i didn't hear him.

"i thought you were quitting," i motion to the burning cigarette between his fingers. the moonlight illuminated the alleyway, making the smoke around him look like some kind of silver aura. he smiles at me.

"i'm trying," he says, taking a drag and blowing it out by the side of his mouth, and i laugh.

"it sure looks like it," i reply, still smiling. i'm not as nervous as i expected i would be in this situation; maybe the alcohol hasn't worn off as much as i thought.

he shrugs, running a hand through his hair. "well, you know me".

my eyes follow his every movement, long, calloused fingers holding the rolled paper limply and bringing it up to his red, pouty lips. i start to fidget with the end of my skirt, trying to distract myself by looking at how my fingers twist the fabric. busying myself, so i don't remember how those same lips used to feel against my own or on the curve between my neck and shoulder.

i look up again when i hear matty step on his cigarette– putting it out– and he starts to walk in my direction. my breath hitches. we are face to face now, noses almost touching. closer than we were at the bar. i can see every freckle on his face when he's this close. i can see the chapped corner of his mouth and the grey that's starting to show up on his now tousled hair.

"why did you leave?" he's straight to the point. his voice comes out low, almost a whisper. at our position, there's no need to be louder than that. there's no hatred in his tone; still, he's not smiling. a flash of hurt appears on his face for a moment. "didn't i make you happy?"

"of course you did, matty." i build the courage to look into his eyes, honey pouring out of them. "we've already talked about this."

he lifts his right hand to rest it on the wall beside my head while letting out a scoff. "but i don't get it," his tone is a little bit louder now. he's not aggressive, but he's not whispering anymore. "what happened?"

"it was for the best." i've stopped whispering too. i place my hands on my forehead. as if to avert the impending headache that will follow this conversation. i don't really know what happened either or when it started happening. i feel sweat droplets running down my hairline, not sure if it's from the summer heat, our closeness, or my disquietude.

"for the best of who?" he questions, lifting an eyebrow, "i don't feel any better!"

"we were fighting all the time, you know this!" there's a lump in my throat, and i can already feel the pressure between my eyes, working hard so the tears don't fall. i lower my voice again. "it was only a matter of time until one of us left, i just left first."

his gaze softens– probably after seeing my flooding waterline– and it's a while before he talks again, as if he's gathering his thoughts. thinking before he speaks for once, "i could never leave you" it's a low, gravely whisper, and i probably wouldn't have heard it if we weren't this close. "i wish you'd stayed."

it's a blow to my chest. like a gunshot, blood running down my ribcage. and for a second, i don't think i can breathe.

"i wish you'd done a lot of things, matty." my vision is blurry now, and i feel a single tear roll down my right cheek. i wish he would answer my calls when he stayed late at the studio. i wish he would listen to me when i said i felt neglected. i wish he would give me more security when i felt jealous of the girls partying with him and the boys while i was on the other side of the pond. i wish i stayed. when i can't sleep because i suddenly realize that my bed is too cold, too empty. when i wake up, and there are no kisses on my bare shoulder. when i have to climb over my kitchen counter to reach the can of pasta sauce on the top shelf. when i'm so anxious, and there's no one to hold me… "sometimes i wish i stayed too."

slowly, his hands cup my jaw. long fingers run lightly across my skin and wipe the lonely tear on my face. the hairs on my neck straighten up, and my heart stirs, beating a little faster. he carefully traces his right thumb over my lower lip, giving me time to reject and push him away. and then, his soft lips lock on mine. no warning. i feel his stubble rub against my chin and let out a sigh. there's a flutter on my lower stomach, burning. i should have pushed him away. instead, my fingers trail up his neck, nails brushing against his skin, and finally into his hair as he coaxes his hot tongue into my mouth. he tastes like cigarettes, of course. i can also taste the rum and lime from the mojito he had earlier. one of his hands travels down and he pulls me by the waist, bodies touching fully now. matty groans into my liquored mouth and i preen; it's good to know i still have that effect on him. that i can still make him let out those pretty sounds with just a kiss. it might be selfish, but we both are. because i bet he's proud too, that every touch of his still sends shivers down my spine. i pull out for air first, lungs already starting to burn. my fingers are still buried in his curls as he rests his forehead on mine, both breathing heavily.

"i need you, love," he whispers against my kiss-swollen lips, voice cracking. there's a smudge of lipgloss on the side of his mouth. it was no use reapplying it.

"matty, i can't," my voice comes out weak, just like how i feel.

"why not? you got somebody?" matty frowns, starting to sound a bit agitated.

i shake my head lightly "i don't."

"what is it?"

"i already told you" it's my turn to cup his face now, scuff prickling against my palms. "we already had this fight before, you get annoyed because i can't trust you, and i start yelling because you don't take me seriously!"

"of course i take you seriously!" he defends, already becoming increasingly exasperated. i just shake my head; there's no use going through this all over again. it hurt enough the first time. however, i still close my eyes, knowing that if i keep looking at him, the chances of me believing him are higher.

"i'm not built for this, matty," for being away from him, for time zones and phone calls, for pretty girls throwing themselves all over him "i'm not strong enough."

"look at me, baby." his hands moved from my waist up to cup my face again, thumb brushing lightly over my cheekbones. "please," i open my eyes.

"do you love me?" he asks. i realize his eyes are glossed over now "because i love you. so fucking much."

it will be easier if i say no, break his heart all at once. give him a reason to give up. it takes me a while, but i nod.

"yeah?" there's a glimmer of hope on his wet iris.

"i do, but-"

"then we'll figure it out" it's not that simple; just figuring it out is not enough. we hurt each other.

"we'll just end up in the same place, matty," i explain firmly. at this point, tears stream both of our faces. his chest heaves, and i try to contain another sob. he turns his face slightly to press his lips to my palm, just for a second.

"stay with me, please." our noses touch, and i can no longer distinguish his tears from mine. "i'll do better, i swear."

"it's not going to work."

"just for tonight at least, please," it comes out ragged, and he grazes his lips on mine, leaving a gentle but salty peck. "just for a little bit."

this shouldn't be happening. it's a mess, all of it. no matter how hard or how many times we try, even if we start all over again, we'll just end up in the same place. i know how i am and how he is. our love is tainted, a ticking bomb. so no matter how much i love him, how much i want him, i know we'll just go back to those screaming matches and broken pictures.

but if we keep doing this again and again, maybe then we won't have to say goodbye. at least i won't have to spend an entire lifetime missing him. so maybe just one night won't hurt, right? i've done it a million times. staying for just a little bit won't hurt…i think.

okay, just for a little bit.

#matty healy x reader #matty healy angst #the 1975 #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy fic #matty x reader #the 1975 fanfic

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reedsofintimacy · 8 months ago

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Hi everyone! Welcome to my bio! (It's a long one)

You can call me Reeds or Reed. Some basic facts:

💚 I am 25

💚 I am 6'4 = 193cm

💚 I am American

💚 I am ethnically Scandinavian

💚 I speak basic Français and 汉语

💚 I am a virgin 😇 I've actually never had my first kiss

💚 I wear glasses and am definitely a nerd

💚 I am straight

My tags:

#Ask Reeds - my ask responses

#ReedsPosts - my misc short posts

#ReedsWrites - my longer form writing

#ReedsIRL - photos/audio/media of me

I have a snap with the same username and am finally verified on PH! But i haven't posted anything yet.

This bio will be a bit long, so for more info on everything about me click below! 🥳

💚 POSITIONS AND ROLES 💚

I'm a top, meaning I enjoy the act of pleasuring my partner more than having my partner be focused on stimulating me. If we had to pick a position, I'd want it to be the one that feels best to her, because seeing her loving it is what thrills me, less about min-maxing my own sensations

I lean a bit subby, meaning I'd prefer my woman to be in charge and take the lead, but I can be flexible and switch. Society has (sadly 🎻) not created many women who feel naturally comfortable bossing men around in the bedroom or elsewhere and really enjoy it. That's fine, I mostly just want to pamper my partner. Whether that's through worship and service as a sub myself, or spoiling a pillow princess submissive as more of a dom. It feels less natural to me, but when I see how happy and needy it makes her I'm very happy to give it my best 🩷 but I can't do super mean aggressive slap-slap-slap "what did you say to me!?" *punish *punish it just isnt in me.

So combining those two (top and sub), I like the sort of woman who while we're hanging out would decide she wants her pussy eaten, and so would spread her legs, and begin tugging a bit at me coaxing "babyy~ i think you need a little snack~ 😈🫦" and then watch a huge bulge form in my pants as my face makes contact with her thighs and I greedily service her until she can't take it anymore and pulls me up to kiss her instead.

Or while we're in a fitting room shopping for clothes would lift up her skirt, revelaing she isnt wearing any panties, and lean in giving me a big hickey and whisper "you're going to breed me in this fitting room 💋" and giggle as she leaned over into the position that always felt the best for her, eyeing my blushing red embarassed face, hesitating. "Or else I'll moan 👅💕" she'd threaten and tease, but silence herself with a bite of her lip when she felt me slide in and fill her, her personal fucktoy thrusting just the way she taught him until she gets everything she wanted, and then praises me with a "thank you, good boy 🥰😘" enjoying the helpless puddle I've now been turned into. Then slide her pants back on and walk out of the room with her pet's sperm still leaking down her thigh, off to go keep browsing while waiting for me to collect myself.

💚 FETISHES AND KINKDOM 💚

I'm fine with just plain vanilla sex ofc all cuddly and lovey with little growls of "you're mine 🫦"

🩵 BDSM ❓️

I'm not into bdsm like sadomasochism and pain play. Wax, knives, whips, black leather. I just don't get the appeal, I'm soft and sweet. Some light bondage to mix things up, collaring, etc is all fine but not too much beyond that.

🩵 Pegging ❌️

I am *not* into pegging 🙀 (gasp) I know. Heresy. But I don't want anything in my butt, see the above about topping. Although being pinned down and her riding her clit against my bottom to masturbate herself...😏💦

🩵 Humiliation & Praise

I like the idea of humiliation but anytime I've actually heard it its been super cringe. The fantasy of the "popular girls" inviting me to a sleepover just to watch how easy i get hard then pin me down and toy with me knowing whatever they show me would be the most I've ever seen, etc is really sexy to me 🫠 but the moment a real human voice is roleplaying it idk I find it hard to suspend disbelief and not be overly aware of myself and feel silly. Maybe its the anxiety disorder. Praise is always nice 🥰

🩵 Service

I consider myself a service top sub and love to worship and please someone, whatever it is that makes them turned on. That can be giving lots and lots of head and getting my face ridden 😍 or using my hands for her, or giving a foot massage, or chest kneading, or holding her book as she reads, or brushing her hair, or carrying her things, or worshipping her butt with kisses, smooching her tummy, clitwarming her in my mouth while she reads, etc. I love to be useful to someone and that extends to in the bedroom. Bonus if it comes with praise for doing a good job.

🩵 Breeding 💦

Creampies are so sexy, i dunno why you'd want to finish anywhere else. There's something so posessive about insemination and the idea of fertility and a cervix and womb thats just very 🥵. I also think the body changes associated with pregnancy are very sexy. Getting a cute tummy bump and swollen leaky breasts the prove I'm claimed to you now is yummy. But i dont think i want kids, definitely not right now, and theres nothing sexy about labor pains or abortions lol so for now this is more of a mental fantasy kink. But if they invented a birth control pill that still simulated the tummy and tits a bit and needed a particular potency and cycle timing to activate i would be alllll over it 😍😍 also maternity clothes are so cute.

🩵 Dry humping & grinding

I'm a very big virgin, so sometimes overly forward stuff just overloads my senses like blowing out a photograph with sunlight and i dont get much out of it. With dry humping the motions, the desperation, the longing for whats behind her panties but not quite getting it, the involvement of her clit which will feel really nice for her, how she rocks her hips controlling exactly what tempo will make her go absolutely crazy its just so needy and cute and sexy. Id love someone able to get off just by desperately rubbing agsinst my throbby bulge.

🩵 Posession, Lipstick stains, & Hickeys

Possession is very sexy and what better way than cute lipstick marks stamping me as owned. Or a collar, or her name written in sharpie on my underwear, or bites just under the shirt line. I want it all I want to be so so hers.

🩵 Lactation 🙈

Idk if the actual milk would be warm and gross irl but the idea that you can suckle someones pretty tits so hard it makes them leak, and that milk pressure builds up and gets achy needing to be relieved by a subs mouth is very 💦💦💦 plus needed to go through breeding to activate it usually is kinda naughty in a "I did this to you" type of way.

🩵 Me as a Dom

As far as being more of a dom goes, I think I actually prefer the ddlg side of things, which I think is currently out of style and unpopular. But I like the dynamic lending itself to pampering and spoiling someone and being more focused on sweetness relative to just being some sort of master figure. Also like littlespace gear is still so cute like pacis and onesies will be adorable forever its such a mix of cutesy girly and a bit humiliating for someone to wear that I really think it works 🩷When I identified more as a dom I kinda always wanted an abdl sub to baby and still think its cute and degrading and hot & am embarassed to admit that, I never e-dated anyone who actually did it. 💖 but if I'm the sub, while I have a mommy kink I'm not into regression or any of that stuff myself

🩵 Omo/pee (her, not me) sounds spicy and is hot to watch, idk if it'd gross me out irl. I used to be really into videos of girls wetting their pants or panties and something about it is still strangely hot. Have a tiny maybe fantasy of a girl making out with me straddling my lap and then just letting her bladder go as we kiss and grind soaking us both. 🙈

🩵 Collaring and petplay is cute, I'd totally wear one for her.

🩵 Getting referred to as "my little white boy" by a nonwhite person with a thing for white guys (🙈🙈 SHUTUP!!)

🩵 Minor humiliation like being teased by her panties or sat on/used as a stool etc

🩵 Not really an irl thing but in hentai when the girl is overstuffed and you can see the bulge pushing up her tummy 🥵

🩵 Corruption, of either of us and especially me.

🩵 Dirty Talk

One of my absolute favorite things to do is get to talk to someone as they touch themselves 🩷 turning them on with my fantasies and then begging them to please please please cum, spamming my words as they release so they can just read and not have to type just feel like im there with them 🥰

💚 MY "TYPE" IN WOMEN 💚

My taste in women irl is that I always have the biggest crush on the kindest girl 🙈 like the one who's proactive and honestly makes me feel bad for not being a better person when I'm around her. Someone who listens, has a big heart, Christmas is her favorite holiday just because of the cheer and her sweet childhood memories and she thinks its cute to hold hands. Who focuses on the positives whenever possible and wouldn't compromise her ideals to fit in socially. Not into gossip or putting people down, is nice to strangers, waitresses, etc. I think you get the point. Something about those sort of people imprints deep into my heart 💟

I am into successful, intelligent, driven women. Like "I was the president of ___ club, I'm a ___ position in this company, I have a degree in ___, I speak ___ and ___ languages, I play the ___" it all makes me just 🥵🥵🥵. I'd love someone who has some sort of public skill/hobby like playing in an orchestra 😍 or doing community theater or playing in a sports team, anything where I can show up and get to be a cheerleader like 🥹😻 that's my baby up there!!! And get to clap and cheer and compliment how she did I just think would be super cute and fun. Then take her out to dinner afterward for doing such a good job ⭐️

I don't find typical domme-aesthetic things like -- *Smoking *Vapes *Weed *Lots of tattoos *Short hair *Goth vibes *fishnets *dyed hair *promiscuous *into knives and blood -- to be very attractive personally. Just not my type.

I'm more into miss innocent church girl, honors student valedictorian who secretly has had a high sex drive awakened and guess who walked right into her trap 👀💦 she secretly corrupted herself and now she's going to corrupt me 🙈❤️‍🔥

I totally get the sex appeal around the bully type domme who is all tough, even if she shows you her sweet side, and that sounds super hot on paper but idk irl I just don't seem to be into people who are actually that way. Its very "sexy" but it isn't compatible on a deeper layer

I don't really care about age. Obviously they *must* be legal but college student who is younger than me vs someone my age vs milf who is a bit older it's all a wash. All have their distinct appeal. All get a 👍.

Height is also inconsequential. I mean I'm (6'4 193cm) or thereabouts so I'm nearly always going to be a fair bit taller than my partner regardless of her height. I think the size difference is cute, something about having a 4' in your height is just idk a bit hot? Lol but i have no real preference I like the whole spectrum and never really think about height, and hypothetically if I *could* find a woman who's my height or taller, that'd be sexy too 🥰 Different flavors but all delicious.

I am a genuine fan of both more curvy and more skinny body types, but less so each extreme. A slim figure and grabbable waist i can fit my hand around and a lil *pow* booty is scrumptious, but if she's so skinny its like borderline unhealthy and it feels like id break her if I grab her wrong and I can see all her bones 😬. Of course I'm very happy to support a partner struggling with an ed or who has had one in the past, but I want my darling more than anything to be healthy. Likewise curvy people can be extremely yummy 😋😍, I love a curvy tummy in a bikini it oozes fertility. but if its to the extent it prevents her from going on cute lil hikes with me and creates health problems then I'd want to help her workout and cook her some homemade healthier food so she can feel better and be more energized and well. But purely aesthetically ❤️ curvyness is a yes. So are stock standard body types ❤️

Breasts and everything to do with the body is actually kinda gravy because for me its the *face* that I'm attracted to and the body is just the fun present that comes along for the ride. Nothing about someones chest size or whatever would make me unattracted to them if i liked their face. Buttt obviously a full chest is nice, but i hesistate to say big because it really depends on weight and body. Fullness relative to body type so that it 🥳 pops is most sexy. So a skinnier girl will be a smaller size, but being skinny and still having a fairly prominent bosom makes it 🥳 pop. Likewise being curvy will grow the size, but some people already big will now develop 💥turbo milkers💥 that 🥳 pop. So its less about surface area or bra size and more about protrusion from the chest, and ofc big is nice ❤️ that being said an itty bitty chest while independently less sexy becomes part of a persons vibe and fits into the whole which as a connected body can be very attractive 💋 Plus then you get to wear pretty bralettes. I'm not really hyper aware of tit sizes but I did want to explain what I think most guys mean when they say they like "big tits" but also we dont pay that close attention a boob is a boob and theyre all fun so just 🩷 love your body mkay?

Bootys i notice less person to person, theres just like 3% of the population that has 💥💥 in their pants and *also* dresses to accentuate it and show it off and look we all think those people are 🤤🤤 like making a protruded lil mound out of their tight jeans or rocking some yoga pants or leggings. Hottie hot hot but 97% of us have unremarkable normal butts.

One thing I *am* really into, the closest thing I have to a "type" is long hair ✨️✨️. Like i have never seen a girl with hair past her butt I didn't want to marry. Mid-back 😀 waist length 😃 past butt 🤪 the longer the better. Idk what it is it just seduces and intoxicates me its so pretty. I know its such a pita for women to maintain which is why its very rare, and my partner can have her hair however she wants it i wouldnt want her to suffer for me, but super long hair is just goddess tier its like the one physical attribute i have a clear robust preference on. Short hair indeed can be cute but long hair will always win in my heart. Straight, a bit wavy, curly honestly it doesnt matter that much its all gorgeous. Long hair my beloved 💕 may i have my lady sit on my lap and allow me to brush it for her some day. I want to help wash it and learn 1,000 ways to style it for her, although hanging free is the best 😍

People have different physical sensitivities, and I think I prefer having a pretty sensitive partner. I've had before during sexting where I'd spend 3 hours naughty talking someone and sexting while they touch and still just barely cum by the end, and other partners where we'd be going 20 mins and she'd go 🥺 I'm really close and I'd beg her to let it go and then she'd release and then probably be too sensitive to even go again for a whole day. That was soooo cute and sweet to me. Since I love pleasing someone so much getting that validation more quickly was really nice and also fit my schedule better, and it would be so creamy and throbby and pulsy when she was done it made my eyes roll back to just watch it. And she'd have to be so careful about how much she touched or it would ache even if she was soaked and horny still. It was really endearing ❤️ everyone is different and needs different amounts of time but I'd prefer someone where I can pour everything into a really great 30 or 40 mins as opposed to being up all night trying to get them off. Being especially creamy is also a plus 🤭

I'm totally fine with someone who is a little too tight and has to be really gentle with themselves, its cute and I don't mind at all if most days all she can tolerate is a gentle tonguing and some kissing. Same with if she's too sensitive and has to stop early before I finish, so long as she gets off and is satisfied I'm a happy camper 😇💖 But nothing wrong with stamina either

So concludes the sexual information!

💚 About Me Personally 💚

🩵 I am musical 🎶

I play the guitar 🎸 and previously played the drums 🥁 and piano 🎹 and even have a clarinet

🩵 I'm a big reader 📖

I have a particular interest in Classical Eastern Literature and have read things like the Romance of the Three Kingdoms, the Valmiki Ramayana, Journey to the West etc. I'm a big fan of classics in general, my favorite book of all time is the Count of Monte Cristo

I also have been getting into classical SciFi, been reading a lot of PKD and some Dan Simmons and Kurt Vonnegut and it's been really enjoyable so far.

🩵 I'm a programmer

I can do fullstack web development from html to nginx and work mostly within the dotnet ecosystem.

🩵 I'm a nerd en général

I love learning things. My first love is the sciences, I went to college for chemistry. I would love to have time to improve my terrible math skills and pick up Korean as a another language, and want to level up my world history especially with regards to Africa and Southeast Asia both of which I am fairly unacquainted with.

You can talk to me about productivity systems, desk setups, fountain pens, video games, and other weird nerd things.

🩵 I want to travel

I've never left the US and one day would love to get to see more of the world.

🩵 I do some amateur writing

I enjoy making my lil erotica mini stories here, and also sometimes in my freetime plan out silly novels and short stories never to be published but just for fun.

💚 I think I'll end things here for now, there's definitely more to me but that should be an effective enough primer. If you made it this far and havent dm'd me...wtf is wrong with you?? We're basically already friends now? 😘

#ask reeds #ReedsWrites #ReedsPosts #ReedsIRL

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veren-cos · 5 months ago

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Why Can't it be me?

Sebastian x reader who fell for Sam

Sebastian's Pov

Part 2 Part 3

Why couldn't it have been me? I've seen every step of you falling for him. I've been there the whole time. And yet I can't help but think, why not me?

Every single time I look at you I am captivated. In awe. How can one person be so extraordinary? You took my heart the moment we met. And yet...

It was 4 seasons ago.

"Hey Abigail? Do you think I should let him beat me?" I was playing pool when we first met. How I wish I could go back and try again.

"Nah, that wouldn't be any fun!" She looked up from her phone. "Oh hey, farmer!"

'Farmer?' I thought. When I finally saw who Abby was talking about, you were already next to me.

"Hey! Sebastian, right? You're like the only person I hadn't met yet. I'm the new farmer." And you smiled. Your smile shown so brightly it beamed through my gloomy head. You shook my hand. "It's nice to meet you!"

"Ah, finally met my buddy, yeah? He's stuck in his room all day so I guess you wouldn't have seen him yet. We come here every Friday! You should come join us sometime." Yhe two of you were already friends. And I could tell Sam was enamoured with you. I don't blame him.

And you did join us. Every Friday, you'd come play pool. Or if you had a rough day in the mines, you shit talk me and Sam with Abigail. You always teased Sam a little more though. I didn't notice for a while, but you seemed different with him. You put on a front.

Sometimes when I went to Abigail's, I could hear you and her practically squealing. I should have figured it was about Sam. At one point, I thought it was about me. I dont know how I convinced myself that.

Sam is just so perfect. He is outgoing. He is kind. Sam is social, and good looking. Of course you would like him over me. You two are perfect for each other. I could never come in between it. There was never space for me in the beginning.

I see the way you look at him. Stealing glances when he isn't watching. You have this dumb smile on your face. The dumb smile I wish was reserved just for me.

But now as I walk down to the beach, you are holding his hand. You look so happy. And you know he likes you back. His smile is even dumber than yours.

I see him grab your waist. I watch him lean in.

And he kisses you.

My best friend is kissing the person I fell in love with. He pulls you closer, running his fingers through your hair. You leaned back. You swing your arms around his shoulders.

And i still cant help but think, why cant it be me. Why can't it be me! It's terrible. I should be happy for him. I should be happy for you. Why cant I be happy for you?

I pretend I don't see it. That's what I'll do. I will keep walking. I won't cry. I'll keep walking, not crying. Yes. I am completely okay with this.

I made it to the beach by the time I get control of my breathing. But then I hear something.

"Hey sebastian!!" And you smile at me. Like it isn't breaking my heart.

"Hey, farmer." I look down at the ground. Why did you come out here?

"Awh man, whats up? You know, i was just talking to Sam. Would you want to hang out with us? Maybe play some pool? We haven't actually hung out the three of us in a while.." You offer your hand out to me.

"I'm good." I practically swat your hand away. "I bet you'd absolutely love it for it to just be you and Sam, arent i right?" I drag the words out. All the hurt is leaking into to them. "Because you just absolutely love him. Don't you?"

"I do like Sam, but-"

I shout, "what kind of 'but' is there?! You don't like me. I get it. But I'm in love with you, farmer. I can't help it." I can't do this today. Not anymore. Not after I saw you kiss him.

I walk away but you come after me.

"Sebastian hey!!" You reach for my shoulder, but I shrug you off. "Sebastian, come on! You aren't even listening to me."

"And why should I? Huh? Leave me alone farmer. I'll see you when I see you."

And I leave. I don't look back. Maybe I should have just moved out of this damn valley. Gotten into the city.

Anything could be better than this rotten life.

Masterlist

There may or may not be a part 2 coming to this 🤭 (unsure as to when, and no promises)

Is it bad I'm having fun writing this???? Lol

It was also super weird writing in this POV. I'm not sure if I'll keep it for the next part.

#fanfiction #sdv #stardew valley #stardew valley x reader #sdv sebastian #sdv sam #sdv angst #angst #hurt/no comfort #yet #tehe

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0aurelion-sol0 · 7 months ago

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(So before we start with this theory & new post of mine for a long time since my semi-hiatus, I want to repeat that I do not want any new informations about season 5 or anything related to it whether true or not, same for any leaks, set photos whether true not. I ESPECIALLY DO NOT WANT THOSE!!!!! or interviews that are the slightest bit too revealing UNLESS I haven't looked at it myself and even then, easy on any of these. I know something minor about this season & have seen two things about it but that's it, nothing more.

These theories & analyses might be proven wrong or false already or in the future but I don't care, I do this for fun & as a way to explore different possibilities about the story that can be interesting or could have been at least. I hope everyone understands this & will not be a party pooper towards me just to have a "GOTCHA!!!" moment... With that said, let's get into it, shall we ?)

_________________________________________

The Thessalhydra:

Back To The Future &... The Beginning.

_________________________________________

For this first post, I wanted to go back to season 1 as I found it was fitting to explore one of the earliest major fandom theories of Stranger Things since it's final season is on it's way.

"The Thessalhydra as the final threat from the Upside Down."

And while at first everyone at the end of Season 1 thought, obviously, that this creature would be the next threat in it's second season, the Mind Flayer poked it's head and said "not yet!", "I need to experiment with my minions first!" with a Vecna also slowly planning his own armageddon as well. And as much as I don't like him (& his season... 😒), he's here and he proves to be useful from time to time when it comes to theories or analyses because he still part of the show & can help up in terms of parallels, themes & plot.

But now, let's remember the last episode of season 1! The boys playing their new campaign about the Thessalhydra taking a similar turn to the one they did at the beginning of the first season (*wink wink*) & this time Will does a 14 (*wink wink*) & kills the Thessalhydra with a fireball. (*wink wink*)

Now if this wasn't a tv show with multiple seasons, I would tell you that the boys obviously staged the whole thing for Will to win so that he can be happy and because they're all very nice friends & also not repeat the same game at risk of making him vanish again especially if the monster this time is the size of the Empire State Building, (sorry with the luck these characters have, I simply can't believe they can have a happy ending such as this one. WILL HAD UD SLUGS INSIDE HIS BODY, WTF GUYS???!!!) but this is a tv show with multiple seasons. And now, it has definitely become foreshadowing for what's to come.

Especially since in it's fourth season now, we basically have Nancy having an apocalyptic vision of Hawkins with a large creature which is describe by having a "gaping mouth".

And if you look at her face here, she definitely did not find that thing beautiful in the slightest, though she is probably more terrified about the fact that she saw most of her family dead. 🤭

But would you look at that ?! What creature in ST fits that description ? Quite a lot actually but obviously you know which one I'm talking about, yes The Thessalhydra! And oh my god, look at what I've found on the Forgotten Realms Wiki:

"Thessalhydras were hideous and terrifying creatures. They had a large, reptilian body with a long tail, 18 feet (5.5 meters) in length, which ended in a pair of large, sharp pincers. It had no head, instead eight hydra-like heads, each about 6 feet (1.8 meters) in length, surrounded a gaping mouth filled with teeth and acidic saliva."

Well well, after that, it's difficult to argue what else could that large creature be!

End of theory! Bye guys! Thank you for reading!

...

Except I also can do that... 😅 Because I have reason to believe that this future Thessalhydra is a creature we have seen before. One whose campaign mirrors another campaign from the same season.

Yes. I have reasons to believe that the Thessalhydra and The Demogorgon from Season 1 are one and the same.

Do you remember this ?

Of you course you remember this, what a stupid question. It's part of a series of trauma that affected us deeply as a fandom, for different reasons (at least for me) but it proves to be an even more important parallel than we originally thought.

I don't need to tell you about the thematic importance of the parallel or what it means for the characters, we've all already gone through that already, I am more interested in it's significance for the plot.

So El kills The Demogorgon & Henry the same way. By disintegrating them. But that action doesn't seem to end the same way for the both of them & El herself.

What is interesting is that the three of them dissapear in some form, Henry into an Upside Down gate but ends up falling forever through the Hellscape (a different dimension than Dimension X/The Upside Down though likely connected, the same way that Dimension X & The Upside Down probably are the same thing but it's not fully confirmed yet.) before ending into Dimension X/The Upside Down in some way. And we all know what happens from here on out, at least what we know of it since Season 4.

I have a theory for why he ended up there, what is the nature of that place and did not simply disintegrate like The Demogorgon who I also do not think simply disintegrated but we will not go fully through that in this post.

El though ends up in the Upside Down after being taken by the disintegrated part of the Demogorgon or by disintetrating herself (though it didn't really seem that way to me) which I think is probably because the Demogorgon used it's powers on her since he could open gates or send anyone to the UD in season 1. (We will also get into that but not in this post, same for why he was so different in Season 1, both physically and in the way he behaved.)

But the Demogorgon, from what we saw simply disintegrated and we never heard or saw any significant clue of it's existence again. Which again leads me to believe, if we follow the logic of what happened to Henry & to El in some way, it is still alive, somewhere.

And I believe personally that it is in the Hellscape right now, and in the same way that Henry got electrocuted while free falling in that place which marked the start of it's transformation as Vecna, I think the same is happening to The Demogorgon and is slowly being transformed into the Thessalhydra.

I think that El when she disintegrate something, she sends them into the Hellscape which is connected to Dimension X/The Upside Down as some sort of passage for someone who didn't enter via a gate the "original" or "right" way per say. Because being launched into Dimension X/The Upside Down in a state or in a way such as this one could be fatal so it's some sort of transition in a way.

And while Henry technically went through a gate, he was disintegrated before it's opening & that gate couldn't last more than a few seconds which I think is a result of the barrier between the worlds not being thin enough. Plus I think El gave way more strength into Henry than she did the Demogorgon with her powers which in turn also opened a gate behind him.

So as a result, he went into the Hellscape as some sort of "safer" transition between the two dimensions since as we know, and I hope, no gate before that has been opened in Hawkins before.

And as for the Demogorgon, again I think it's a point of it fighting back against El & using it's own powers against her plus again El didn't seem to launch the same type of strength of her power as she did onto Henry since she was standing much closer to the Demogorgon than she did Henry while also using an important memory of hers to defeat him.

Now as to why we haven't seen that Demogorgon or Thessalhydra in ST again, I think it's because the Hellscape was connected to the original version of The Upside Down, Dimension X in a way that it's not anymore with The Upside Down because what happened November 6th, 1983 changed more than just the environment but also the workings of those dimensions since the barriers between the dimensions are now thinner.

So I see 3 possibilities for the Demogorgon, to me it is still free falling through the Hellscape being slowly turned into the Thessalhydra or somehow ended up in Dimension X instead which is still connected to The Upside Down but is seperate it's own plane in some way since The Mind Flayer still come from there or is in a version of The Upside Down that is still Dimension X outside of UD Hawkins.

But still, some things are still up for speculation for how exactly it all works out in the end.

As I said at the beginning of the post, you take Nancy's description and apply to other creatures in ST like the Meat Flayer/Spider Monster (whatever you wanna call it) of Season 3, a gaping mouth with multiple hydra-like heads who in a way also gets defeated by fireballs via Lucas and it's fireworks which we see Will throw with him but the Demogorgon also fits that description with it's own gaping mouth blooming like a flower whose petals could look like different mouths coming from it.

And in a way, it would be ironic for The Demorgorn from season 1 to be The Thessalhydra because if we follow the boys' campaign, the very thing that took Will back then, that he couldn't defeat would also be the same thing he will defeat in it's final season as some sort of karmic consequence for The Demogorgon & The UD as a whole but also as a way to tie it's final season with it's first season in a more concrete way.

It started with Will and it will end with Will.

#stranger things #stranger things 5 #st5 #st5 theory #stranger things 5 theory #the demogorgon #the thessalhydra #the upside down #el #el hopper #eleven hopper #jane hopper #vecna #henry creel #vecna stranger things #will byers #stranger things vecna #the mind flayer #hellscape #dimension x #stranger things five #stranger things season five #william byers #And I can't but notice how Will; El & Henry all vanish at some point of the story.#The Demogorgon as well!#Even more parellels!#But people have already noticed that with Will & El in Season 1 but nice to see it works for other cases such as Henry or The Demogorgon!#Billy and The Flayed in season 3 also fits that scenario.#And Vecna's Victims before they are discovered or Hopper also fits under that scenario as well.#Which makes me think we are going to see other vanishings in Season 5.

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purplesoulcollection · 4 months ago

Text

Unnatural Love

Part 15 Synopsis : Name has being transmigrated into the world of I'm Not That Kind Of Talent without ever reading the novel. She's not being reincarnated as a human but as a devil as well. Hi There! I want to let you know that this fanfiction story isn't solely my creation. I borrowed the concept from @quqiwo2. I haven't actually read the novel either, just some spoiler to the end.

I hope you'll excuse my spelling and grammar mistake, because English not my first language.

Trang

The sound of swords slicing through the bodies of demons resonated throughout the battlefield. It was evident that a more powerful force was executing a one-sided slaughter.

Rather than an army engaged in the wholesale extermination of demons, resulting in pools of blood, blood-stained snow, and heaps of corpses that would ultimately become hazardous waste for humanity, the scene was orchestrated by a single individual.

This individual was Deon.

Deon fought with a chilling detachment, refusing to allow even the slightest injury from enemy assaults. This demeanor instilled a sense of caution among the Lofty soldiers, who were accustomed to Deon's previous reckless abandon, preventing them from intervening with their captain.

What a transformation it was! Deon, once known for his frenzied fighting style, now exhibited a calm and controlled approach, showcasing his strength in a manner that left his own troops unaccustomed to this new method of combat.

Armed with a long sword, a reward for his heroism in vanquishing a colossal demon, Deon exemplified a formidable presence on the battlefield.

Deon, I permitted you to visit the palace at any time, yet I did not anticipate that, for once arriving in a state of being drown by blood, you now also bring this enormous creature to the castle," remarked the emperor, observing Deon kneeling before him, the body of the colossal monster visible on three horse-drawn carriages outside the palace.

"I vanquished him myself, Your Majesty. It appears that a fragment of the hero within me awakened unexpectedly. This serves as evidence," Deon replied in a flat tone, lacking the joy one might expect from someone who had just achieved heroism.

"Deon, should you truly be recognized as a hero, there would be no doubt in anyone's mind. Your prowess was demonstrated during the eight-year war, and you are feared by many. Indeed, you are the most fitting candidate for such a title," the Emperor commended Deon, though the latter remained unmoved by the praise.

"I am concerned that the emperor may require me to validate my heroism through inhumane trials. There is no more definitive proof than an extraordinary accomplishment."

Ultimately, the emperor chose to conclude the discussion. "Very well, as a token of your newfound status as a hero, I shall present you with a holy sword, crafted specifically for those of heroic stature."

"I accept it with gratitude."

With that, Deon departed, wielding his new sword. The Emperor was left perplexed by Deon's apparent lack of enthusiasm and joy regarding his achievement.

And the reason is being leaked.

Deon, who had been abandoned by his fiancee, who was only seen once at a party, became a hot gossip among the nobles, adding to the collection of bad rumors among Deon's pile of bad rumors.

Of course they never explicitly said that in front of Deon. But their whispers and disdainful glances clearly mocked him.

But Deon didn't care about the rumors that were bad about him, he was more focused on what was his new main goal besides his revenge.

Adele. She disappeared…

I have to found her for sure…

Since she left without his wishes that means only the Demon King is capable of doing so. Only the demon king is able to summon demons wherever she is. Because the devil's body is made from mana created by the devil king.

He definitely made Adele his hostage. Seeing the situation she was summoned and did not return to the human world after several months until the day changed from a hot summer full of sun to a day filled with snow is being the answer.

That means the demon king is already aware of the romantic relationship between Deon and Adele.

He understood in his brain that Adele was helpless before the demon king, he understood that Adele could not escape from the demon world.

But he grew to hate Adele a little, who left him alone in the human world. Even though he sided with the human world for Adele's sake. Just because she wants me…

With every breath of hot steam, Deon's breath reminds Deon of Adele every time.

Even though he just wanted to talk to her, hug her, laugh with her again. There's nothing Deon wants more than that.

Is he cold in the demon world? Is he healthy there? Doesn't he miss me there too? These questions always haunt Deon's mind.

Deon is worried about Adele. Being a hostage is not a good thing, Adele's life is guaranteed if the demon king wants Deon to side with the devil, but that doesn't mean her life will be comfortable there.

Adele, when they first met, was already fragile and helpless in the demon world, especially now. Deon couldn't imagine Adele's current situation.

Initially he wanted to pick up Adele with his identity as commander of squad 0 but unfortunately both Cruel and the King did not allow it. They said that because I had sided with humans, the devils would no longer believe in you.

Deon's worry and anxiety about Adele makes Deon very strong and emotional. He becomes a fighting robot who just wants to cut down every demon in existence.

"Stop Deon, there are no more demons to attack." Cruel put his hand on the hand holding the sword.

Making Deon realize that all of them had been killed by Deon himself and the remaining few had run away.

"Older brother... " Deon looks at him, finally relaxed his grip with his sword after every slaughter he being doing earlier.

"Don't push yourself too hard, even though you are now a hero, Deon. Adele definitely doesn't want to see you like this either." Cruel said to Deon. He saw the eye bag that was very clear on Deon, he wouldn't be surprised if he saw Deon faint later.

"I can't, if I slow down the progress of the war. I can't meet Adele quickly."

"Then at least you change clothes and sleep. You're the only one fighting today, get some rest."

"Okay."

He obediently withdrew, much to Lofty troop relief, they finally had a chance to fight. It doesn't have to be with their scary captain.

Deon reached his tent and took off his dirty clothes. There is no spirit left except the body which endures the pain of muscle aches.

Deon took a proper shower before he finally lay down on the portable bed ready to move.

His body since becoming a hero is actually stronger than his previous body which always vomited blood. He is now fit and able to last longer in battle.

Deon's mental condition actually no longer shifts from one personality to another. Deon now realizes that killing is something he usually does.

At least he no longer considered himself too lucky to have survived the war because of his own luck and never killed anyone.

He was physically and mentally tired. He also had insomnia since Adele was gone. It's hard to sleep and even if you can sleep, nightmares will appear.

He had a nightmare that Adele would leave him alone.

In this world.

Hopefully that won't happen to me...

Please...

To Be Continued

Notes: next episode, Deon meets his demon king!! I will skip all the battle scenes against the troop commander, because I have never read the novel.

#fanfic #x reader #manhwa #manhwa x reader #fem reader #reader insert #deon hart #deon hart x reader #i'm not that kind of talent #intkot

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omo-queer · 1 year ago

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hi! tysm for your answer 🥺 i looked up "rapid desperation" online and based on my own understanding, this is how it works:

1. drink the same specific amount of water every 15 mins within an hour (you can pee within that 1 hour).

2. after that first hour, you should continue doing it but this time, the hold starts. bathrooms are not allowed.

after this, what shall i do next? do i just keep drinking until i can't hold it anymore? or should i set a goal (for example, wait for 2 hours until i can finally pee)?

thank you so much for helping a beginner out! 💗 also looking forward to more of your blogs

- 🩰

the rapid desperation approach i've seen and used a variant on myself is:

drink at least a glass (350ml/12oz or about that) every hour. this works best if you start this at least an hour or two before the hold, and pee as normal. this part basically gives your kidneys the heads-up that they're gonna be moving water fast bc you keep drinking it.

then do what you're implying—drink a glass every 15 minutes for a hour during which you can pee regularly

after that, you're holding. continue drinking at 15 minute intervals, and keep going until you lose control—the idea behind rapid desperation is that it makes this part go quickly because you've told your body to make pee faster, essentially.

this takes more planning than just like. not peeing for a long time. but it can get some interesting results. i would honestly recommend you try a couple regular holds before you go for rapid desperation, making sure not to go past the point of pain (discomfort is fine but pain you have to be careful about), because rapid desperation is one of the easier ways to have to worry about electrolyte balance (salt/potassium stuff) if you do it way too hard or way too fast. that said, i mentioned it because you were asking for specific challenges and it's a very fun one, just as long as you listen to your body.

remember, your safety comes before anything else—holding is good fun but it's important to learn what your body can and can't do, and to listen when it gives you signs to stop. you're very unlikely to hold so long you seriously hurt yourself, because the body usually gives up trying to hold it in before that's likely. but in rare cases you can experience water toxicity or overwork the muscles around your bladder if you go way too hard right out of the gate and don't listen to your body. try not to hold two days in a row when you're first starting out, and give yourself longer breaks of at least a few days between intense holds (where you actually lose control or get really close) to give your bladder and your muscles time to recover.

ok. that's the safety lecture over. it's not really that risky a kink, i just really wanted to stress how important listening to your body is when holding.

if you haven't done any holds yet, my first recommendation would be to drink liquids as normal, maybe slightly more than normal, and wait until they catch up to your bladder—eventually, if you keep drinking normally, you won't be able to hold any longer and will begin leaking or even wet yourself. even getting close to this is really thrilling. coffee/tea and other diuretics help get you more desperate, too. i typically wait until i'm right on the edge of wetting and then either go to the bathroom or (if i have the situation to) keep holding until i lose control. setting a timer that's a little overambitious usually also works for me because i tend to have a bit more bladder strength than i assume... but i've also been recreationally holding it for a pretty long time, all things considered.

thank you for reaching out! i hope my answers are helpful. i'm glad you enjoy my posts—might do a hold tomorrow or the next day or something, and it seems folks have been submitting anons for bladder control (which i love!!) so there will no doubt be more posts on the way.

i'll be asleep for a while once i post this, but feel free to send in any other questions you have via ask or dm! and of course, i always welcome talking about holds/experiences in my inbox!

#omorashi #🩰 anon #sorry if the safety lesson is excessive or spooky #i promise omo isn't as scary as all that makes it sound like. i just want my followers to be aware #especially if i'm mentioning stuff like rapid desperation where that's a genuine thing you gotta watch out for #if you start feeling woozy or lightheaded or something during rapid desp you gotta slow down/stop #bc that's a sign you're fucking with the water balance in your body too much #anyway uh. feel free to send more asks #or if you're comfy with it #dm me #regardless don't be a stranger... i'm glad to have you in my inbox!

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epickiya722 · 11 months ago

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I do not know if it was you, or another blogger that made a character analysis of Gojo that made me like the character and discover more about him through the manga.

While I never read the manga before or watched the anime, I had been exposed to it by my friends and some BNHA bloggers. Back then, I found Gojo to be overhyped (discount Kakashi) while liking the animation(?) style, bit still no interest.

BNHA and its Endeavour Redemption arc in the doing was tiring me to the point that I stopped reading it and manga altogether. For mayne six months or so, until now, at least. I randomly found your blog last week , and it got me a new hyper fixation 😃. You got me to start reading JJK (Megan cos playing also helps).

I bought Number 0 and Number 1 of the mangas. Only to remember midway in Number 0 that Walmart Kakashi will be snapped in two like a Kit Kat🥲. I saw that leak in one of the BNHA blogs, and I didn't mind it back then since I wasn't in the fandom, but Lord, now it sucks.

Anyways, all this long rant to say that I like reading your posts.

Gojo, rest in pain, I guess?

Probably was someone else, I don't write much analysis posts about Gojo. I think once or twice I did, I can't recall. Probably reblogged one though you saw!

I don't know, they're really just two different characters to me. Also... I was never really an active reader or watcher of Naruto like that (just very familiar) so when I first saw Gojo, Kakashi didn't register to me at all.

Like, I did not get similar vibes at all. And it actually annoys me that people will be like "He copied Kakashi's flow"! Kakashi ain't the only white haired, face covering character out there with magical eyes, y'all stop. 😆

Even funnier when, by this point, Gojo has probably been unmasked more than he has been wearing something on his face and switches up what he puts on his face. Kakashi been wearing the same mask for...? Also, didn't it take years for Kakashi's whole face to be shown or something? Took like seven episodes for Gojo to show that face.

I always been a fan of Megan's music and then when I found out she was into anime I was like "YYYYYEEEEEAAAAH". She cosplayed as Miruko one Halloween and it made my year. I am a former believer that Miruko would vibe to her music.

Just seeing other Black women being unapologetic fans of anime (or anything) does wonders for me and I hate it when people act as if it's such a foreign idea to understand. Honey, we can have interests, too, like everyone else. It's normal.

I always try to be careful about spoilers for anything I'm into. Like, I can talk about a chapter that happened two years ago, but I'll still mark as a spoiler because I know some people don't read Mangas or even if they do haven't caught up to that specific part.

That actually what set me off when Usher cosplayed as Gojo because he literally put "rest in peace, Gojo" or something along those lines and the amount of people who weren't even aware of 236... like bro, come on.

I knew it just had to be a marketing tactic because I know damn well Usher ain't seen JJK a day in his life and how convenient it is he comes out with that cosplay around the time when "Daddy's Home" becomes a fairly popular song used in Gojo's edits. I can't go watching one video on YouTube without hearing that song play when Gojo pops up. And even if he has... WHY WOULD YOU TAG IT LIKE THAT?!

Oh, but Megan definitely doesn't know any of the characters she be cosplaying, alright... okay... 🙄

I'm just going off on a whole tangent here, I apologize for that. I've been sick for like three days and just woke up from a nap. 😅

Also, thank you! Glad you enjoy my posts!! Anytime anyone says they like reading my posts, I still get shocked. They're really are just random thoughts I been having and really I'm still learning grasping the characters and story myself. And this is just for any. I don't even for them to get read, let alone for anyone to actually agree with me. I guess because, at the end of the day, I really just needed to throw a thought out there before I lose it or keep rethinking about it over and over.

#kiya answers #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk spoilers #jjk manga spoilers #gojo satoru #satoru gojo #megan thee stallion

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thevindicativevordan · 9 months ago

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OMG suit reveal by Gunn's Instagram !

Been the talk of today, of course I've seen it.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by James Gunn (@jamesgunn)

instagram

I don't hate it but I don't love it either:

This is straight up the Fortnite suit where it's the New 52 suit + the trunks. Kind of amusing route to go honestly.

Ugh the collar. It's not too bad, it lacks the v-neck and because the suit is clearly not armor, it doesn't quite have the same authoritarian vibe. Will never be pro-collar myself though.

On the positive side I love that the suit is battle damaged! Always disliked how Cavill never showed any wear and tear despite theoretically fighting bad guys who were on his level of power. Rewatching the Raimi Spider-Man movies again reminded me how important the battle tear aspect can be to increase tension. Really hope Gunn brings some of that same approach to the fights here.

I also like the long cape and the color for the non-scorched sections of the suit look good.

Yay for the spitcurl!

I guess the background is Ultraman trying to heat vision Guy to death? I'd like to think it's Solaris or Brainiac but at this point I prefer to go into the movie thinking it will only be the boring leaked choices, and then be hopefully surprised. Better that than getting my hopes up to see some Superman villains I actually want to see, only to be disappointed.

I get that it’s probably trying to evoke a more human feel (Superman puts on his boots one at a time just like we do!) but the background event kinda makes it more comedic than touching

Can't lie, it's a weird way to reveal the suit. You've got Corenswet with a stoic/glum look on his face, putting his costume on while his comrades are getting beaten up. The background looks AI made. This doesn't exactly scream WE'RE DOING SOMETHING DIFFERENT FROM WHAT SNYDER DID to the normie who has no clue Gunn is rebooting. Not exactly the strong first impression that you'd want, but whatever. Trailer will be what really decides whether the average Joe takes an interest or not. I am pleased to see that the reveal is provoking a reaction, people are clearly interested in this movie in a way that they haven't been with other superhero movies outside of Deadpool 3 and Joker 2. It's when people are totally apathetic that you know you're screwed.

#superman #james gunn #david corenswet

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wolfkitty42 · 1 year ago

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My Thoughts On The 2023 HoYoFair.

Wow. This year was full of utter gems. I'm just going to link a couple of the ones I especially enjoyed, and put my thoughts on them below.

youtube

I was extremely hyped up for Shadows in the Sand. It's always been a quest I enjoyed, and Jeht is by far one of my favorite npcs. (Although I hope some day she won't just be an npc... Make her playable, Mihoyo!) While I felt like the short was a little rushed, it was still a wonderful tribute to the quest. I love the reveal at the end with Jeht removing her mask. It was also nice to see Lumine!

youtube

I was also very hyped up for Times Changed after seeing teaser images for it. I adore Lumine's new outfit! I didn't really enjoy the short that much, but I admire the quality of the animation. If you're looking for Genshin fan animations to watch, try this one!

youtube

When I saw PROGENITOR: Albedo had gotten a second episode, I was thrilled! For those who haven't seen any of this series, I highly recommend checking it out. Here's hoping we'll see a third episode next year!

youtube

I actually only got onto the stream right before Riptide started. I love this song! The animation is beautiful and I think the singing and lyrics fits Childe's personality very well. Check it out!

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Writing on the Wall is genuinely one of the most amazing songs I've ever heard. Up until hearing this, I have been a Kaveh hater. Sorry! Haikaveh just didn't really appeal to me that much, and... That was pretty much all of the widespread Kaveh content I had seen. I knew Kaveh had more nuance in his character, but I felt very unmotivated to look into him.

That being said, this song helped clarify what I knew about him. I started crying halfway through the song. (And okay I'm sick with a cold so my eyes are already leaking 24/7, but still!) Writing on the Wall perfectly captures the feeling of losing motivation to finish your art. At least for me, I used to often find myself making paintings for friends. This became incredibly demotivating over time because I felt like I had to perfect details and I lost the sense of fun in drawing. Over the past year and a half, I've been trying to draw for myself more.

This song spoke to me so much. The lyric about the architect remaining inside their buildings especially stood out to me. You can see an artist in any of their works. Even if there's no written signature, every stroke and line is a signature in itself.

So... Am I converted to being a Kaveh fan now? Honestly, I'm not sure. That being said, I do have a c6 Kaveh... (cough cough Baizhu pulls x3). Maybe I'll finally try building him.

#kaveh #hoyofair #genshin impact #Youtube

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axilarycobra · 1 year ago

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[Spoilers] WoF Guide book opinions

I recently got the guide and I wanted to share what I thought of it. Honestly, not really meant to be a post explaining in-depth details about what was in the guide, but yeah, this post will contain spoilers for the guide if you haven't read it yet. I'm going to go through it in chapters.

MudWings

I actually really liked the stuff we got in this chapter. It was sort of ruined because everything in it was spoiled or leaked before I got it, the only thing I had not seen yet as of reading that chapter was 2 pages, but I still really like the characters introduced and how it expanded on characters we already know.

SeaWings

This chapter was nice. Not my favorite, but I wouldn't say it was bad. Kind of wish there was more new information since there was a whole part just about Coral recapping the war of SandWing succession. I would have much rather have learned about some kind of folklore or something instead. I think the inclusion of letters between Albatross and Lagoon was cool but it really didn't give us any cool new information, instead just showed how their relationship was like. The Turtle and Anemone parts were fine. The chapter overwhelmingly featured royal SeaWing things when really, learning about some non royal SeaWing stuff would have been so much better because we have really only seen royal SeaWings this whole series.

RainWings

I would say I enjoyed this chapter. I wasn't really into the Kinkajou story but I get its importance in the series, but it felt like an excuse to get to write something from Kinkajou's perspective for once. The Dangers of the Rainforest things was honestly not really insightful. I would have much rather had something about RainWing potions which have been mentioned in other books, that sounds interesting while the Dangers of the Rainforest is really just more about the Rainforest than RainWings. The thing about royal challenges was interesting and included some cool history, it was also interesting to learn about a few other possible challenges that can happen during these. I do like the information about how RainWings traditionally tell stories that are passed down through words rather than writing.

NightWings

This chapter was ok. I skimmed a lot of it. The Tales of the NightWings story was interesting and I like the conversation between Starflight and Fatespeaker that took place after it. The guide to NightWing powers felt pretty unnecessary. I get that this is supposed to represent a real guide that would exist in the series, but I also feel like there should have been more of a priority to give us new information rather than give us information we have been told many times before. The Mastermind interview was way longer than it needed to be, but I did like the history we got about the NightWings developing language and medicine. Fierceteeth's letters was really interesting and seeing some character development in her was really nice

SandWings

Honestly, probably my least favorite section. The wanted treasure poster was cool but then we get thrown into stuff we've already been told. There really is not a lot of new information we learn in this chapter which sucks because I would have loved some SandWing history from Jerboa times or something about the Sorpion Den being founded. There was no reason why most of the chapter had to be focused on Smolder's scavenger journal.

IceWings

Honestly, very cool chapter imo. It also just looked really pretty. Mink's application was pretty long and tbh didn't really add anything to anything. Also, I thought we would get to learn about some new animus gifts but it just restated old gifts we had already learned about without expanding on the information. Literally just exactly what is on the wof wiki plus a tiny little bit of information about Diamond as a dragonet. The feast thing was cool, I never realized how interesting information about food could be but I found myself interested in it. I did really like the Caribou story and that whole history, that's kind of what I wanted more of in the animus gift guide: putting names to animi to their enchantments.

SkyWings

I'd say this chapter was interesting. Although most of the Scarlet kill list was stuff we already know, it's interesting that Tui created a whole new character to put on there with no context as to who they are. I wonder if she wants to do something with this character. I also found the letter from Queen Carmine to Queen Pearl interesting. We got to see a bit of how the massacre was explained to the SkyWings and Queen Carmine's personality. The Tailwind story was interesting, especially near the end parts. It really did explain quite a bit about SkyWing traditions (well, the traditions before they were taken away by Scarlet). I never guessed that Canyon would just be the male version of Scarlet and the reason she had him killed was because he was too obsessed with himself when Scarlet had to make sure she was the dragon most obsessed with herself instead.

SilkWings

This chapter was alright. I enjoyed the information about the SilkWing curriculum and professions back when they were in the Hives. This chapter, and all of the Pantalan chapters, never addressed the LeafSilk Kingdom or the SilkWing Assembly. It is as if that never happened and they were still living in the Hives. I like the history in Monarch's writing and thought that the part about her bringing cookies to the queen meetings was really cute. Aside from that, there was no BeetleWing info which I was really looking forward to possibly seeing.

HiveWings

I did like a lot of information in this chapter. The Hive guides was cool since we really only got a focus on two of them during all of arc 3. The Legend of the Hive part was ok, really just information we already knew, but also interesting that some SeaWings also moved to Pantala with the BeetleWings, LeafWings, and some RainWings. The Book of Clearsight excerpts were also interesting, probably would have been more if they hadn't been leaked.

LeafWings

This chapter was really short. The guide to the Poison Jungle was alright. I did really like the books part. Learning about folklore within the series is what I was more looking forward to in this guide. Then there were the letters with Belladonna and Liden which were alright. But that's it, the whole chapter is 3 things.

#wings of fire #wof

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nyaifyz · 8 months ago

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Sorry if this question bugs you, but I wanted to know if you are ok.

I've seen that you haven't posted anymore Murder Drones content after episode 7 (aside from those 4 posts) and wanted to know why.

I think that the reason could have to do with one of the main sticking points of that episode and one of the main interests of your blog: Doll.

I've seen many other members of the community still mourn her death, myself included, so I definitely know what it feels like to be empty inside for a fictional character.

I've taken upon myself the task to comfort everyone who's grieving Doll since I myself didn't have anyone who could understand my pain and comfort me, so I just wanted to say: stay strong, Comrade. The battle is never over.

.....

If the reason why you haven't posted MD content in a while is way more simple than I guess I look like a fool, but in any case good job with your art and do whatever you want regardless of what I or anybody else has said.

If you are just simply taking a break, do that too, and don't feel pressured to come back.

I do thank you for your concern I will admit, I am still sad for Doll

her death was leaked to me so I've been in denial about it before it even happened on screen

she is very special to me in more ways than one

I still draw Doll, I still talk/mention her randomly when I talk to other people, I still look at her fanart

and I have a lot of unposted artworks, comic scripts, oneshot plans, and other things

but to be honest, I've been too mentally unwell to post or openly interact with the murder drones fandom outside of my own md discord server

I've been interacting with the Littlest Pet Shop community much more as it is my special interest and my biggest source of comfort

I plan to turn Doll into a lps so I can have her as a double comfort!

I also have been posting more of Indigo Park as its my current hyperfixation and Rambley has given me comfort too, I actually have plans of Doll and Rambley interactng!

now about the mentally unwell thing, I will speak more about that under the cut as it will include triggering topics

but for now, I just thank you for speaking to me, I am thankful people actually care about my posting

Yes I have been very unwell

I have been struggling with art and dealing with massive moodswings, I have been experiencing panic attacks and intense stress in my daily life

I am dealing with suicidal thoughts and a ton of hate towards myself

I want to completely erase my online existence and restart under a new identity, but I can't bring myself to completely leave the Murder Drones fandom or the LPS community, or my amazing friends that mean the world to me

even if I did re-enter under a new identity, I probably have a high chance of being recognized in the MD fandom anyways so I feel my possible effort would end up useless

but either way, I am just dealing with a lot of negative emotion

I live in an uncomfortable household and expected to continue with college

everyone irl has high standards over me, and I do my best to not let that impact me online too

but anyways...if you read this, I thank you for listening :'3

#nyaifyz inbox #vent

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vampireacademysims · 1 year ago

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Well, I guess it's time to address the situation... or the lack of situation lol This is gonna be long, be warned. There's a TL;RD at the end if you wanna skip the wall of text. To start, thank you to the two anons who took the time to read the comic and prod me about it and the new people who started following this tumblr in spite of the Hiatus warning. Altho this place has been collecting dust for more than a year now, I'm still around, updating my side reblogs tumblr, so it's not like I dropped from the face of the earth.

The truth is, at this moment in time, I've feel out of love with making this comic. It was always a lot of work due to me being a perfectionist. I never used any extra rendering apps, all you've seen here is raw sims images and a lot of work on Photoshop, so much so it gave me a muscle contracture on my right shoulder (because I did all my work in bed with my laptop/drawing tablet in my lap. I never said I was a smart person lol) that still flares up from time to time because I learned nothing. Then the VA fandom was already quite small by the time I started doing this in 2015 and I never really advertised this in the fandom anyway. I always got the impression most of the fandom didn't like the OG comics as it was and most of the people that followed the comic were sims 2 fans because, well, it's made with the sims and the images were pretty (forever holding in my heart the people you said this <;3) The recent "Vampire Academy" TV series (it was just in names, honestly) was the final nail in the coffin of my motivation. After information had leaked I was already disappointed in it, but after actually watching it, yeah no. Only plus to it was the surprise to see it was partially filmed in my country, in places where I have been myself. And lastly, and probably most importantly, I struggle with motivation a lot. It happens to us all, I am sure. It's no secret that I hated to panel, if I'd start all over again I'd just post the big images like many of you telling stories are doing now, it'd be less of a stress for me, but alas, I can't change formats now. And I said many times I was doing it mostly for myself, because I did love the comics based on the books, but doing it for yourself only gets you so far until you get bored. And I got bored. I'm actually surprised my hyper-focus on it lasted for as long as it did. I haven't been to Photoshop for editing - I used to make photomanipulations and other kinds of editing - for way over a year, so it's not only the comic that stopped.

I still have 7 pages to end chapter 6 in various degrees of editing, Veninorchid and Esotheria-sims have seen them, so they exist lol I will eventually finish editing them - it's mostly a Romitri flashback - and post them. But after that, I will have to decide how to proceed. Spending less time editing would help, but lowering the quality of my pages, the only thing people like about it, really doesn't sit well with me, because yeah, perfectionist.

So at the very least the remaining pages will be posted in early 2024, I might go back to it slowly, a little bit everyday so I don't burn out or put stress on my shoulder. But after that, it's up in the air. It's not like I've been staring at the walls during this time, I had other things taking my goldfish-like attention. I got interested in home bookbinding, which made me dig out old unfinished stories I once started and I've been trying to finish them and later try to bind them, because why the fuck not lol And on my reblogs tumblr I had this set of pictures about a Regency little story that people really loved and I'd like to add to it, but then again, all the editing it'd need *cries* I feel tugged in so many directions I fear I'll end up doing nothing lol

So the TL;DR is, I got bored with the comic because it was too much work and resulted in physical pain, I lacked the motivation and other things got my attention meanwhile. Chapter 6 will be be finished eventually, but after that it's up in the air. Cross my fingers that I get my mojo back while editing those pages. Still, a thank you to all of followed and are still following, sorry these were not the good news you wanted to read just because I made a post. You support up until now was what kept me going in the past, I can't thank you all enough.

#a psa I guess?#va comic #vampire academy

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