#I haven’t written for ace a lot and it’s for this reason

[kenslilove]

Hi bun! 😊🫶 For the kink thing I was wondering if I could get overstim? (GN or Fem is fine)

ace can’t help himself, his fiery spirit leaves him with loads and loads of stamina and loads and loads to fill you up with 🫣 there’s also something about the way your pussy clenches up around his cock for the nth time, with the way it’s all swollen and covered in a layer of slick and his cum that’s he’s pushed in and pushed out too many times to count. A shiver racks all the way up his spine despite how hot he runs and he groans shamelessly against your neck. He lets out another load inside of your when he starts to thumb at your clit and you have to paw at him bc it’s so much, the white hot pleasure, the molding of his cock inside you, the feeling of his leaking out of you it’s making your brain turn off— but ace wants that. He pins your wrists above your head and leaves a feather light kiss against your lips, which contrasts the way his hips suddenly start bucking into your used hole.

“One more babygirl, you can gimme one more, right? I know you can, you’re so good for me. Just one more… and then maybe two”

send me kinks pookies 😋

[3cremepie3]

Airhead pt. 1

Synopsis - Riddle Rosehearts x fem reader. Y/n is an idiot and needs help with studying from Riddle! She wants to pay back his kindness in the only way she know how.

Warnings - innocent riddle, lose of innocence, graphic mentions of head lol, premarital sex, cursing, spit, roughness, slutty y/n, bimbo y/n

A/n - I was supposed to start this series so long ago but I got caught up in request. I found this so fun to write and I will be continuing it!

“Hey riddle,” you exclaimed. You pulled him in for a big hug he deserved it for being so generous. He was helping you study for free! “There’s no need for that.” His words were harsh but his smile said otherwise. Whatever you let him go and plopped down on his bed.

“Wow, it’s so soft I can lay here forever.” You will not now up at once,” he demanded. “In order to get optimal study results students sit at desks. I have a perfectly organized one here.” You sighed getting up to sit at his desk. The chair was cool against your ass cheeks that hung out your dress.

It was uncomfortable and for some reason forced you to sit up. “Now let us begin I have tea time to attend to and I’ll leave you for independent study time then.” Okay,” you accepted. The session didn’t even start yet and you were bored. "Yawning already? Did you not get a good night's rest?"

"No, I stayed up all night waiting on a flash sale." Well, that was idiotic,' He claimed. "When your dorm has no AC you make do with what you can get, look isn't it cute."

"My god," Riddle gasped. "Isn't that lingerie women wear that for their husbands and as far as I know you aren't married." You erupted into a fit of giggles. God, he was over dramatic! “Riddle you're too innocent for your own good," you laughed. "I'm just wearing it to bed what's the harm in that?"

"You're right." He cleared his throat and stepped away to grab a hefty text book. "Hand me your phone there must be no distractions." You were hesitant but handed it over. Riddle grabbed a chair and scooted over towards you. Your body moved closer to his wanting to marinate in his scent. "Wow, you smell so nice Riddle like roses."

"Well thank you I make sure to use rosemary oil and- what are you doing get back to reading at once!" He pointed to the paragraph your eyes finished scanning. "I already finished," you pouted. "Fine then let's get started on this written response."

"The teacher wants you to write this in a formal format so no personal perspective." He continued to yap on and on about something that you couldn't bother to hear as you were distracted by the flamingos running across the yard. "Get him." You cheered leaning out the window to watch the mayhem between students and flamingos concur.

In an instant, you flashed him the short dress that you wore hiked up your back. “You mustn’t lean over like everything is showing,” Riddle yelled. He covered his eyes wanting to keep your privacy. “Ace he went that way,” you pointed. You felt the air on your ass and quickly realized what Riddle had been yelling about.

“Oops my ass was out,” you giggled. “It’s not funny Y/n!” Come on Riddle you act like you’ve never seen anyone’s panties before.” He stared at you blankly. “Wait you genuinely haven’t?” His face became rosy red at your question. “Well, not in real life of course.”

“Christ how is anyone this pure,” you wondered. “My mother kept me very sheltered from a lot of things.” So you’ve never watched porn?” He held his head low not meeting your bright eyes. “ How is that your first thought no I have not.” We’ll have you ever had a girlfriend or a side hoe or a hookup?”

“No I don’t have time for any of that,” he admitted. “I guess remaining top student comes with its downfalls.” You frowned for Riddle. You couldn’t imagine not getting laid. Just then you thought of something. “Well, Riddle since you gave me your time helping me study I’ll give you mine in bed?” You watched him awaiting his answer. “But mother says only married couples do that.”

You slapped your forehead out of frustration. “Mother means married couples stick it in. No one said we have to do all of that.” I suppose there’s no harm since it’ll be a fair exchange and as long as it’s done before tea time.”

“Yup just the perfect pace,” you gleamed. Now why don’t we get on the bed,” you suggested. “Alright.” Oh wow Riddle I’m surprised you’re agreeing to this.” Well, you only live once they say.” He propped himself up on his elbows wanting to face you.

“This process is for relaxation you can lay fully down.” He laid back sinking into his many pillows. “Good boy now take off your clothes.” You heard his breath hitch at the thought but his hands were eager to make them come undone. He stopped at his underwear, however. “Need help or something.” Your hand graced over his bulge and then to the band of his boxers.

“I think that would be best,” he admitted. You couldn’t help but notice his hands shaking. “Aww Riddle don’t be nervous. You sat up to give him some kisses on his burning torso. “It’s just a little dick-sucking,” you reminded. “I know but I’ve never done anything like this before.”

“Well, then I’ll take things slower if you need it.” You began to kiss him softly he was a beginner after all. The first few were awkward teeth colliding but cute as you shared drool. The next ones were better since you took control catching his tongue in yours. You broke apart letting him catch his breath.

His hands tangled themselves in your hair pulling you back in. You balanced yourself on the bed before pulling your hips over his. Now you straddled his lap and could feel his heat against you. Riddle pulled up your dress which caused a gasp to come from your lips.

“Are you eager now?” Yes.” You looked up to see a riddles face flushed in a shade of scarlet. “Fine then I’m gonna go back down here. You crawled back to his legs making sure to land in an arch. Riddle thought he would lose his mind seeing the peak of your ass on full display. You pulled down his boxers to clearly see his mental state.

“Aww look at you dripping,” you coddled. "You can touch it i see you staring." Oh okay," he hesitated. You felt a hand collide with your ass cheek. He rubbed the flesh gently afterwards although it was an apology. You were gonna let out a protest but his focused face was too cute to pass up. You let a glob of spit coat his tip. You scanned his reaction as it slid down to his base.

His breath hitched at the warmness. Soon your mouth would follow the direction of the spit swallowing him down until you gagged. You exited with a pop making his toes curl. "So how's your first time getting head feel?" Good now continue," he demanded. His hand pushed you down onto his waiting dick.

You felt it twitch in your mouth as your tongue followed every curve every vein its entire being. "Oh my god," Riddle huffed. "Your cocks so cute look at it shake for me." You let it rest and spasm on your cheek. Your face had become wet with spit and his pre but you didn't mind. "Taste so good baby," you mumbled. Riddle could only bite his thumb down in response to holding his moans.

Your hand left his thigh to assist you in pumping him. Your grip was strong bringing his balls to tingle. Your lips noticed as you licked against the masses. And it intensified as you juggled them both in your mouth. He looked down on you astonished at your sinful actions.

Your dress was soaked but you were only just getting started. "Change of plans I want you to throat fuck me." Riddle looked at you like a lost puppy. "What does that mean." After quickly giving him a rundown he got into position. "So like this." He asked while pushing himself into your pulsing throat. Your hand linked themselves on his hips bringing him to push himself even deeper.

Riddle let out a grunt at the sensation of you squeezing around him. "Fuck it's like you're sucking me in." You chuckled you'd never think you'd get to hear Riddle RoseHearts curse. His hips buckled back and forth drilling themselves into you. But you still felt as though he was going to be soft on you.

"Riddle here's your chance to ruin me, to take all anger and stress out on me, to manhandle me. You're a man right then prove it to me." You spoke while scattering cock kisses. Riddle scoffed he was tired of everyone second-guessing him because he was small. "While since you give me permission I shall do my best job at it."

His smile twisted into a cruel smirk. You could tell in his head he had felt as though he was back in charge of the monarchy. While really you were still the dominant you just loved getting throat fucked. His hands raced to grab your neck forcing you to collide with the end of his shaft. You felt his hair tickle your nose while you gagged heavenly.

Riddle couldn't get enough of the vibrations against his core and forced you to stay until he watched your eyes roll back. You coughed greatly after being freed but stars were in your excited eyes as the same fate occurred. You watched Riddle lose himself in the contractions of your throat.

He moaned loudly as he pumped you like a fleshlight. They became whimper and he let out mewls that sounded as though he was crying. It was music to your ears especially when his voice that was sure to go raw yelled "Y/n" a dozen times. If he kept this up your throat would organize his shape forever.

And you wouldn't mind as long as you heard his whimper audio. "So good I think I'm gonna." He tried to give you a warning but it was too late. His cum poured down your throat leaving you to swallow the best you could in the short amount of time you had. The excess liquid spilled down your face and his now empty balls. He finally let go of his grip which allowed you to move away from the monster that was his cock.

You had 100% slayed that beast as he softened in front of your eyes. You pulled the bottom of your dress down ignoring the wet patch your essence had left on his bed. "Now we both held our fair end of the exchange." You spoke your voice raspy while removing your dress and stealing one of Riddle's shirts.

"Yes if you ever need help again be sure to let me know," he exclaimed. "Mhmm I'd love to push things even further. What your mother knows doesn't hurt her Riddle. It's not sin if its secret!”

[captainlilyuniverseworld]

Love, Law and Laundry

A/N: Teaser from a new Bloodweave fic in the style of a romcom/drama where Astarion is a lawyer and Gale is a grad student who recently started working for him as a housekeeper and they eventually fall in love. Pics courtesy of @papercutstoday (who helped fuel a lot of this and listened to my rambling lol)

Love Law and Laundry

Gale stared at the address he’d written down on a scrap piece of paper then at the large highrise building in front of him. It would be an understatement to say that it didn’t appear daunting, nearly looming over him. He climbed the steps up to the doors and pulled it open, a rush of cold air from the AC slapping him in the face as he stepped inside and made his way towards the elevators. 

He pressed the button for the fifteenth floor and used the elevator’s mirrored walls to double check his appearance. He was trying not to be as nervous as felt and wasn’t exactly failing but he wasn’t exceeding either.  

Twenty six years old. Back home living with his mother. Starting back at square one with his master degree and working a part time job as a home cleaner. Was it his top choice for a part time job? Not in the slightest, but the client that Jaheira had assigned him to was willing to pay a lot for someone to come by a few days a week. 

Apparently this particular one, Astarion Ancunin, which try saying that five times fast, had a reputation among the Harper Cleaning Co. Worked weird hours. Had some weird dietary needs or something. Weird temperament, just weird all around. But for fifty dollars an hour Gale could overlook ‘weird’. 

The elevator doors dinged as they slid open and he stepped onto the floor counting the numbers as he walked past the apartments. 

1501. 

1503.

1505.

1507.

1509.

1511. 

He stopped in front of the door and double checked that it was the right place and pressed the doorbell listening as it rang out through the apartment. Condo? He rocked on his heels as he waited and heard the locks disengage before the door opened and a older man with a pale face, a shock of silver white curls and eyes that made Gale think of bloodstones regarded him coolly. 

“What happened to the other girl? Mayrina or something?” he asked. 

“She…is no longer with the company,” Gale answered. “Uh…sorry is your dad here by chance? I’m Gale. I’m supposed to be her replacement.” 

The man blinked at Gale and eyed him curiously. “My dad…? No he isn’t, he’s been dead a good fifteen years now.” 

Gale winced. Way to put your foot in your mouth Dekarios. “Sorry…I just sort of...ahem...From what Jaheira told me,” and what people said I assumed you were some grumpy 90 year old man… “You are Mr. Ancunin then?” 

“Yes, but Astarion’s fine,” he appeared more amused at Gale’s mistake more than anything. “A voicemail sounds vaguely familiar.” He opened the door wider and motioned Gale inside, shutting the door behind him. 

Gale followed him down the short entryway and holy hells how did this man find anything? There were clothes strewn about, leftover takeout containers, empty bottles of wine. Half drunk cups of coffee, papers and books and notepads strewn about. 

He glanced over and saw the man leaning against the island counter that separated the living room from the kitchen, cell phone to his ear. 

“So they did,” he nodded and set the phone down. “Well, you certainly look…heartier than the last few.” 

Seems like one has to be…Gale just gave a slight smile. 

“Can I get you anything to drink?” he offered. “Coffee? Water? Tea?” 

“Water’s fine,” Gale answered. “Your requests mentioned that you needed general housekeeping, bit of meal prepping and the like?” 

He watched Astarion fill two glasses with water and walked over handing Gale a cup. “Yes. Housekeeping, meal prepping, grocery shopping. There might be times when I need to go out of town on business so perhaps some apartment sitting from time to time…”

Gale nodded and drank some water. “Sounds reasonable enough.” 

“We haven’t gotten to the fun part yet,” Astarion cleared a space on one of the couches and motioned for Gale to have a seat and sat across from him. “My work as a lawyer has me keeping odd hours depending on the case I’m covering.” 

“What kind of law do you do, if you don’t mind me asking?” Gale asked. 

“Family law, though I have dipped my toe into business law and criminal law, environmental law from time to time,” Astarion answered. “But family law is my main coverage. There will be times when I’ll hold a client meeting in my home office. That and the bedroom are the two hours you don't really need to worry about. I'll leave the sheets and towels in the hamper in the hall and take care of the rest.” 

“Home office and bedroom, off limits, gotcha,” Gale made a mental note. 

“Second, I tend to eat a high protein diet...I have a bit of an iron deficiency hence the interesting dietary needs,” Astarion continued. 

Gale tried not to frown. Why would they say that’s a weird dietary restriction? “I’d say I’m a pretty good cook, my mom taught me everything she knows, still teaches me actually, and that shouldn’t be a problem. Are there certain foods you prefer over others? Or things I should look for at the grocery store?” 

Astarion looked momentarily caught off guard by the question but quickly schooled his features. “I try to leave a list at the beginning of the week…I’m not overly picky in terms of food, but if you’re ever unsure you can send a picture of the item and I can let you know. I’m not expecting you to pay for the groceries with your own money, I have a card for that purpose. I just have money transferred over every week so there shouldn’t be any issues with it getting declined.” 

Gale nodded. ‘“Was there a particular number of days you’d like me to come over? I have morning classes on Tuesdays and Thursday’s, but on Mondays and Wednesdays I have evening classes and my Fridays are pretty much open.” 

“You’re in school?” Astarion asked. 

“I just started the master program at Blackstaff Academy,” Gale nodded. “Anthropology but uh…not exactly sure after that...needed some extra money so here I am.” He winced. Was that an okay thing to say?

“Every little bit helps right?” Astarion replied. “Why don’t we start with Sunday’s, Wednesday morning’s and Thursday afternoon’s?” 

“I can do that,” Gale nodded. “When would you like me to start?” 

“When can you start?” Astarion asked. 

“I could come by this Sunday?” Gale offered.

Continue Reading...

[that-ari-blogger]

Content. Warning. (Poison)

Hazbin Hotel has a predicament that I haven’t really come across anywhere else. The episode that I would use to recommend this series is also the episode that I would use to recommend people away.

I would recommend another tale for the characters and the storyline and how the writers weaved in a dissection of subject matter more nuanced than I expected. But Hazbin Hotel is, in my opinion, at its best when it deals with that material front and centre.

There’s a reason I have titled this post what I have. Episode four of this series isn’t shy about what it’s talking about. But there’s an interesting difference between the idea of something being subtle and something being nuanced, and there’s also another weird thing about this episode and especially the first song contained therein.

Masquerade feels like it is written by a comedian, and I mean that in the most straight faced, complimentary way possible.

Let me explain.

CONTENT WARNING: (Mention of Abuse, Mental Health, Sexual Assault, Addiction, Bodily Harm)

SPOILERS AHEAD: (Hazbin Hotel, Six)

I am an absolutely awful judge of the cultural zeitgeist, but I have observed that the music I like rarely gets described as “pop”. Partially, this is because I see a bunch of people liking a specific thing and I walk in the opposite direction, but partially this is because my musical taste isn’t limited to any specific genre.

My main musical tastes are centred around the emotionality of the song, rather than the musical distinctions. I will look at Harry Styles’ Watermelon Sugar and think it’s nice to listen to, but I will gravitate towards Olivia Rodrigo’s Vampire because of the emotional journey that song takes me on. The former of those two makes you want to dance; the latter makes you want to shout your rage at the sky.

Naturally, this leads me to ballads, songs that tell a story. The Crane Wives are particularly good at these, Curses is the archetypical example of a tale of personal guilt. But, for the sake of a constant thematic, let’s talk about Bitter Medicine for a moment.

“I bite my tongue to keep the worst of the words in So they don’t hurt nobody but me Swallow the poison I wanna spit Bitter medicine I think it’s making me sick Don’t look up to me I’m not as tall as you think You see, I talk a big game But it’s bullshit”

Bitter medicine is about bad coping mechanisms, kind of. The Crane Wives excels at exploring powerful emotions but leaves the scenarios open to interpretation. It’s not how you got here that matters, but where “here” is.

This is why the same few of their songs have gained popularity in Asexual spaces as well as in spaces for those recovering from their own actions. Reformed abusers and aces don’t tend to share much, except for a feeling of guilt.

It’s an unfortunate part of the ace experience that the realising of who you are feels like a betrayal. It feels like you have strung someone along with promises you can’t keep. I’ve been there, and it feels awful.

I do want to stress that this isn’t betrayal in reality. Being ace does not make you a bad person, you haven’t actually strung someone along. You are valid, end of argument.

The issue is that the mind isn’t always a rational thing. Sometimes it internalises things in an unhealthy way. Odds are the partner who you think you betrayed wouldn’t agree with you on that. People that like you have a habit of supporting you.

Essentially, part of being ace is that self-imposed guilt. Not every ace goes through it, but for those who do, that feeling is difficult to overcome.

But that idea of being the reason a relationship fallen apart has a lot of other applicable situations, hence the diversity of popularity.

Bitter Medicine isn’t about that, its about guilt for feeling bad. Its about the type of trauma response that is selfishness masquerading as selflessness.

The emotion on display is pain, with a song about bottling up everything until it explodes. You can’t be angry, you can’t be sad, you can’t let people help you because "there’s nothing wrong". You just have to keep things tight to your chest and let other people suffer. This is a song about becoming distant from those who can see you hurting and can’t do anything to help you.

It's about how bad coping mechanisms act as a poison that can’t be escaped, almost like an addiction.

The music video centres around the idea of others getting caught up in the crossfire of internal emotions. It’s monochromatic so you can see the stains left behind even more starkly, and those stains get everywhere. The protagonist has to be rescued by these others, but she has to let them.

You will notice that ballads don’t usually tell you the events of their stories. Everything is a metaphor; everything is a symbol. Sometimes a song will tell you outright what’s going on. That’s a strength of the medium, not a plot hole.

Which leads me to a song called Poison, a ballad that is entirely centred around the metaphor of its title.

Poison was written by Alice Cooper (with help from Desmond Child and John McCurry) and released in 1989 as a single, and it is surreal.

It’s about Cooper’s alcohol and drug addictions, which is weird considering the lyrics are ostensibly about someone he’s in a relationship with, and that’s the point.

The song depicts Cooper’s addiction as an abusive relationship, dedicating the song to that part. It’s singing to “you”, as if he’s in conversation with it, telling it to its face all the damage that he has taken.

This is personification, ascribing a will to an inanimate object, although its more than that. In this case, it’s ascribing an attraction to the object, a seductiveness. He blames himself for falling for a trap and frames the song as his own realisation of his agency. He got himself into this situation, he recognises what the problem is, he decides where to go from here.

I want to highlight that the central metaphor is used differently in both songs mentioned above. That’s part of the fun of literary analysis. Everything works together to provide context for everything else.

Poison is a song about alcoholism, so it uses the titular concept to focus on the realisation and consequences. Bitter Medicine focuses on how the poison masquerades as a cure to emphasise its point about bad coping mechanisms being traps. Hazbin Hotel’s Poison is the opposite of all these things.

The song in Hazbin Hotel is about an abusive relationship, and it uses the poison to step in for the addictiveness of that. It’s a reverse of Alice Cooper’s song, comparing a person to a drug rather than the other way around.

It is also gloriously unsubtle in a way that is really difficult to explain, so I’m going to have to use another, wildly different example.

I recently read a book called This Gilded Abyss. It’s by Rebecca Thorne (@rebeccathornewrites), and it struck me as a book that was graceful in the same way that a person can be “cool”. It’s not pompously dancing around clever wordplay. The book feels like the art is in the tale, rather than the telling, and I mean that in the best way. It’s more art than form.

The reason I bring this up is because that is the same feeling I get from listening to Hazbin Hotel’s Poison. There are cool details in the presentation, sure, but they are outshone entirely by the emotion on display. I don’t listen to the song or read the book to dwell on the fine details, not because they aren’t there, but because the story has me in a death grip and I am too enthralled by it to pay attention.

I could talk about how Poison uses high notes to ground itself, I could talk about how the songs instruments imply a fakeness. But that doesn’t seem like the point to me. Instead, I want to elaborate on what I said earlier about this song and comedy writing.

The song isn’t funny, per say. If you were insincere, you could point out that this is about a spider singing to a moth, so haha jokey joke joke. But that’s the key. Sincerity.

The golden rule of comedy is “commit to the bit”. It’s less funny to draw back and undercut yourself than it is to subvert expectations or do something dumb and go for it, despite seeing it coming a mile away.

I was a theatre kid (if you are shocked by this, welcome to the blog), and I remember being told by the theatre sports coach that for a joke to be funny, it can never be acknowledged as such. I don't know how much I agree with this, but it's a useful idea.

Hazbin Hotel does this in a big way with its entire design. It’s set in hell, and the main character is the most optimistic person you will ever meet. Pentious is a villain, and also a goober, and the show does not acknowledge the inherent silliness of this for a moment.

As such, the punchline of Poison is the final verse, which is a tour de force of Blake Roman’s acting skill. Everything cuts away and you get the emotional centre of the entire song. It’s like the dick joke you can see coming, but instead of making you laugh, it destroys you.

This is how the final scream in All You Wanna Do works. The song part of the musical Six, which I hope to cover on this blog at some point and follows the breaking down of Katherine Howard. She is seeking a kinship without any preconceptions, but everyone around her views her as nothing more than a vehicle for sex.

At the end of the song, she screams out into the stage:

"Bite my lip and pull my hair as you tell me I'm the fairest of the fair."

Six is a tragedy that has already happened. The characters know their fates, but the audience gets to learn them in real time, and is powerless but to watch with joy that turns rapidly into horror.

In this case, Howard hasn't been allowed to complain. She's been something pretty for people to look upon, and she has to be happy, right? She's married to the king. But she isn't, because nobody has at any point asked what it is that she wants.

So, she screams, letting all that rage and frustration out, letting the audience know how she really feels, and displaying her complete vulnerability in the face of history, and then she is gone, and there is nothing you can do about it.

Poison also does this with each chorus. There are mini punchlines, mini beats that make you react and keep you interested.

“What’s the worst part of this hell? I can only blame myself.”

This forms a bridge to the chorus, drawing you back like an arrow in a bowstring to send you rocketing forwards into an aggressively upbeat flurry of music. The same thing happens later on in the song.

“So far beyond difficult, To resist another gulp.”

This is use of the titular metaphor, but its also ascribing blame. Angel has been abused and sexually assaulted by Valentino, and this is the song about how he has internalised that. Namely, through condemning himself.

There are two things to note here, and I think the series disagrees with Angel on both accounts.

First up, there is the importance of proportionality. Falling for someone with more red flags than a beach in shark season wasn’t a good decision, I think we can all agree on that, but it doesn’t condemn someone to abuse.

Especially since this is the internet for Pete's sake. You only have to imply that a character is attractive, and you will have a collection of people who will defend their every move. Part of this is the "I can fix him" mentality and the fact that fictional characters aren't real, but still. Come on.

Second up, is Angel really to blame? More to blame than, say, Valentino? The victim is blaming himself for his victimhood, in order to deflect from the person who has put himself in that situation.

Episode four has one scene in it that is both my favourite and my least favourite, the one in which Charlie sets fire to the set.

This was a scene that made me reflect on the difference between something being good craft and something being enjoyable, as Valentino’s switch in tone when moving between Angel and Charlie is so viscerally uncomfortable that it made me pause the episode to sit back and take it in. It’s intentionally jarring, and it's not trying to present this character as benevolent.

What it is trying to do is present Valentino as seductive, someone who has two modes that he can switch between. Angel fell for the nice Valentino who got the gifts and was kind and charming and was blindsided by the more aggressive version of this character.

In other words, the highs were what he was drawn in by, the lows caught him off guard. Valentino is like a drug.

This truly is the opposite of Alice Cooper’s song. Where that personified the drug to give it agency, Angel dehumanises Valentino to place the agency on himself and take the blame.

“Because I know you’re poison, you’re feeding me poison. Addicted to this feeling I can’t help but swallow up your poison. I made my choice and every night I’m living like there’s no tomorrow.”

If we focus on the line I put in bold, there’s some similarity to another song, previously in the musical.

“Hell is forever, whether you like it or not. Had their chance to behave better now they boil in a pot”

The idea that choices are final and that everyone gets one chance that they must then commit to is a key antagonistic force in the series. The show is about hope, and the desire for things to get better, but Heaven and Angel say that if you make a decision, the rest of your life must be dedicated to the follow up of that.

If you got into a bad relationship, sucks to suck, you’re stuck there. If you got into a bind and had to do dark things to stay alive, sorry, no redoes.

There's a word for this: "Damnation".

Committing to the bit here is making the bit your entire deal. The theme is the dichotomy between change and stagnation, and every source of conflict comes from that one concept. It’s milking the joke for all its worth, but again, repurposed.

Although, there is one other advantage that comedians have in storytelling, an advantage I like to call the “What’s My Mother’s Name?” Moment.

Sam Riegel is a voice actor and a regular cast member on Critical Role. He is famous for being incredibly funny, but also for his relationship with humour. Several times across the series’ three campaigns, it has become clear that Riegel was being fully serious, and neither the audience not the cast saw it coming until far too late.

There’s an obvious example here but let’s get topical and talk about the latest episode of the series, as of writing this.

“He had a perspective and a goal and he laid it out very clearly. He wanted to get his family back and assume power. He did not set out to kill a city, to destroy a city. He wanted to get back with his family. The others prevented him. He gave them a choice to sit down at a table and they said, ‘No, we'd rather kill a city.’”

Riegel is playing Braius Doomseed, a minotaur champion of an evil deity, and in episode 102, there is a discussion of what has gone before. Braius starts to make a case for one of the villainous deities, and the rest of the cast assumes he’s just joking and committing to the bit. Instead, Reigel commits to the bit so thoroughly that he bypasses humour and plays it straight. This is someone genuinely making a case for the lord of the hells.

The question isn’t about when Reigel started beings serious because he’s always been that. The question, is “when did he stop being funny?”

Hazbin Hotel does this with Poison, and it causes the audience to reflect on what has gone before. All of Angels’s actions up to this point have now been recontextualised, and it's far too late to do anything about it. Angel has always been serious, the show has always been aware of this character as a damaged person, but now the lighting is different, and you aren’t shielded by the joke.

The punchline is the commitment to the bit.

Final Thoughts

I’ve seen a lot of praise online for this song, and while I agree that this song’s grip on you is unbreakable, I think that it gets outdone by the very next number.

I also want to point out why, in my opinion, episode four is the best in the series.

The show has a pacing problem, it’s in a hurry to tell its story because it’s had artificial constraints put upon it. But Masquerade takes its time and gives you a story without compromises and without outside input. In my eyes, this is a flawless episode of television.

Next week, we will stick with the episode, and look at Loser Baby, and how hope becomes triumph. Stick around if that interests you.

Previous - Next

[physalian]

I think being an ace writer lets me write sex and romance with less of my own biases/wants/what-I-think-is-sexy getting in the way, to better incorporate these scenes into the story as a method of plot and character development instead of just gratuitous, among other things. In the same way being atheist lets me write real and fantasy religions without my own beliefs interfering, because I can respect religion academically and objectively, as a tool, not a given.

I write my characters in tons of situations that I myself would never enjoy, anything from bathing together or having kinks or even making out. I know why people enjoy these things and I’ve read enough romances to know how to write the proper buildup and the right tone to strike and all that jazz and I do enjoy reading romance.

There’s absolutely other factors at play here and I can’t speak from experience for a lot of the situations I put my characters into (nor do I write smut, I’ve tried, I’m bad at it because I’m ace) but I’ll beta read sex scenes for original authors, especially cis/het authors, and while “writing to satisfy yourself or your readers” is different than straight up just writing a story that includes romance, I seem to keep finding myself stuck with a constant stream of author wish fulfilment, a lot of newbie original authors seem… narrow-minded when it comes to sex.

Like they can only imagine what they find kinky or romantic or sexy, like the subtext is saying “this is sexy because I think it’s sexy and if you don’t think it’s sexy something’s wrong with you”. Which isn’t at all a problem in fanfic for whatever reason (probably because these authors also tend to think sex=romance thus smut=character development).

So I have a character with a medical kink, for example. I haven’t had readers gushing over him or that scene (haven’t had that many readers period, mind you), but I haven’t had any complaints, either. Heck, my protagonist in ENNS is a frustrated virgin in a vampire romance who at one point realizes “hm yeah I definitely don’t hate teeth anymore pls do it again” meanwhile I’m sitting back with my metaphorical coffee going “you have fun now, enjoy”. Maybe because it’s not just an 111k word fantasy smutfest but his self-discovery is part of his arc.

But I think the difference is, either in just skill at my craft or being on the outside looking in, is that I think “what would he think is sexy? And how would I go about writing that?” vs “what do I think is sexy? And how do I go about contorting my characters to fit that?” I spend the time making sure he’s in character, it makes sense for his character, and that he’s acting authentically.

Or at the very least, I think aceness (and possibly aro-ness we are undecided in that department) gives you a baseline of 0, clean slate, not that aces can’t enjoy the idea of sex, the idea is that sexuality is self-contained. But when your whole life is sex-favorable/allonormative I think it puts blinders up.

Or, I just keep reading heterosexual romances that leave something to be desired. Not just beta-reading, the romances in like, Maas books, for example—no kinkier or more wish-fulfilling than a fanfic with the same tags, but there’s something so cheap and artificial about those sex scenes. The first time I read… I think it was book 3 or 4 of the TOG series and I realized just how much sex there was, I legit got bored and scanned ahead until I could get back to the story—and I have sat through fanfics that surpass 100k words with as much smut and I am fine and entertained. Is it because she’s not a great author, or because she’s a cis/het author with blinders up, or some mix between the two? I have enjoyed poorly written but sincerely written smut in fanfic, so it can’t be that, either. If this was a science experiment and I’m controlling for all other variables except the sexuality of the authors and/or characters, I’d have my answer.

That’s not at all to say allonormative authors cannot write beautiful romances and hot sex scenes. There is only one (1) romantic scene in Maas's books that I used to go back specifically to reread, and it was just two characters finally tossing decorum aside to make out. She lost me completely after that.

Just in my experience, inexeperienced allonormative authors vs queer of any kind tend to be worse at making it compelling and sincere and my theory is that they can’t escape their own ideas of what sexiness is, because they've never had to, and can't get in the minds of characters and readers who don’t all think like they do.

—

Interested in a queer vampire fantasy novel? Eternal Night of the Northern Sky is out now!

[thedvilsinthedetails]

Heyyyy…

hey im still figuring out what i wanna be called but for now u can call me Jamie if u want I’m genderfluid as fuck [they/she/he or whatever idegafatp]

some typa aroace spectrum probs grayace & demiromantic also omniromantic - in general I have nothing figured out

so a simp w like a slight preference for men ig but kinda ace most of the time but sometimes very not

neurospicy bitch

writing request status: OPEN FOR MICROFICS RN

I’m a rosekiller loverrr but also a multi shipper so u never know what ur gonna see ig [but probably Rosekiller, Wolfstar, Dorlene, Starchaser maybe some sunkiller if I’m in the mood etc] for the record just bc I don’t ship smth doesn’t mean I support hating it even as a joke [translation: prongsfoot is chill leave them be]

if u don’t like smth, just ignore it, if u send me hate I’ll reply w shitty jokes probs

my dream job is to be an actor [screen actor specifically]

Media I like:

Fav TV stuff: Challengers, Gravity Falls, Cruella, 10 things I hate about you, into the spiderverse

Fav author is @neil-gaiman also that man is my idol so I’ll probs reblog him a shit ton [do u think he’ll like…mind that I tagged him? Sorry if this bothered u Neil!!!] Music [uhhh changes all the time tbh but for rn]: The Neighbourhood, Olivia Rodrigo, Conan Gray [Kid Krow phase rn], Chappell Roan, Renée Rapp, Green day, Ricky Montgomery, NOAHFINNCE, MARINA and Hozier

Spider-Man. Fucking love Spider-Man.

One thing to note about me tho: obvi I love recommendations but I find starting literally any new forms of media really fucking daunting for no reason [this is everything: songs, movies, books etc]

e.g. I fucking love spider verse but I still haven’t watched movie 2, same w latest season of young royals, same with even like ONE song alone I find it rlly hard and really scary

so if u give me recommendations and I don’t get back to u about them for ages it’s not bc I forgot or i was ignoring u but bc I find it scary so pls be patient :)

also same w please don’t like assume I’m knowledgeable about like any of the music artists I named earlier bc tbh I don’t rlly listen to artists I listen to songs [im still a fan of a lot of music artists ofc but the artists I listen to ≠ the artists I’m a fan of]

HI! welcome to my crazy blog, I love making friends im not at all scary I promise :D

Btw my inbox is ALWAYS open for spam, ship ramblings [even if it’s not smth I ship], info dropping about ur hyperfixations, venting, questions etc. [the only thing is no illegal ships bc it will be ignored] also sorry pre warning im shit with the inbox chains [‘send this to ten people who…’] so often I won’t answer those sorry, anything else I will make sure to answer but the chains I sometimes just forget about sorryyy

Barty Crouch Jr & James Potter kinnie

got a FAT crush on Evan Rosier [he’s the loml he just doesn’t know it yet] and also a crush on Dorcas Meadowes

I write sometimes:

I fell for you like glitter on stage - rosekiller band au, this was a microfic series on tumblr that I posted on ao3 for convenience [words: 4548] [this is my fav thing I’ve ever written lol]

we are all just prisoners here of our own device - Jegulus, a oneshot on ao3 based on the song ‘hotel California’ by the eagles. [Words: 6162]

Oh where do we begin? The rubble or our sins? - ON HIATUS. Roman Empire Jegulus au with side Rosekiller, Wolfstar and Pandalily on ao3 [words: 6141] [currently I don’t want to write Jegulus - the hyperfixation hath faded]

also I’m in a marauders RP as Barty and u shld follow it bc we’re all super cool and funny and amazing and awesome and yeah @bartythebabygorljr

tags you’ll see on my page:

me and my old black biro > writing tag

Im in love with that Rosier boy > [this is a new one] me having a massive crush on Evan Rosier

the most boring soap opera > my life tag

I have an online diary called @miseryoforpheus if ur fascinated by my charming and irresistible personality

[The song at the bottom of my intro post changes all the time depending on how I’m feeling]

THIS BLOG SUPPORTS PALESTINE

THIS BLOG STANDS WITH UKRAINE

THIS BLOG THINKS JK ROWLING HAS A NEGATIVE QUANTITY OF BRAINCELLS

[ari-but-unhinged]

Art for Toritsuka/Hairo fic where I explored what was meant to be a crack ship and is now one of my favourite (??) ships in Saiki k- PLEASE HEAR ME OUT

(A long rant ensues so, if you don’t want that then that’s all good and you don’t have to click, but if you’re interested, then welcome to my rant about a rare pair i love!)

Of course, I started out by simply laughing at the “I hate men” line Toritsuka said about Hairo and thinking writing a crack taken seriously fic would be funny and it would be a nice break before I started this other fic I have planned that is going to be an even bigger endeavour with Saiki k x Danganronpa. What I didn’t see happening was for this Torihai fic to completely take over my brain space and end up with a fic just shy of 20,000 words.

This may not seem like a lot, but I usually only write fics in 1,000-2,000s so this is a lot for me, especially since I’m a slow writer/editor so it takes me a while.

Part of the reason I love these two together is because of the inherent dynamic of Hairo’s inspirational preachiness and how it doesn’t work on Toritsuka, and how it might be refreshing for Hairo to have someone who challenges him (and not in the fake way Teruhashi does, with Toritsuka being very upfront and honest about it). Toritsuka also, because he’s so upfront about his feelings, helps Hairo to express certain emotions like annoyance/sadness that he wouldn’t normally express outwardly. Something else too is that Toritsuka tends to be very physically affectionate, and I don’t know that Hairo is used to that (I haven’t seen any examples of him being physically affectionate in any other way than a bro way) so that could be refreshing as well. Also, also, Toritsuka is Hairo’s gym buddy who was reluctantly dragged along that day Saiki was trying to avoid everyone and no one can change my mind lol (this, in Hairo’s mind, forms a bond between them that can never be broken and he will never stop reminding Toritsuka of this when they hang out).

I just think their dynamic can be playful/fun because they’re both real with each other if that makes sense?

On Toritsuka’s side of things, he doesn’t have a lot of friends and the friends he does have he either doesn’t have any chemistry with or hate him (Saiki lol), so I think it’d be nice for him to have someone who is extremely caring/attentive to his friends and clearly cares deeply about them and shows it often. Because of this, Hairo shows interest in Toritsuka’s life, and for someone who probably hasn’t had many friends, that would mean a lot. Also the fact that Hairo cares so much for Toritsuka sets an example as to how to be a good friend/human would behave and could help him grow as a person (which are always the best friendships/relationships when they grow together rather than staying stagnant and dragging each other down). Being more caring of others and allow him to develop his interpersonal relationships with more than just ghosts, instead with real humans.

Also, I’ve taken to calling them the “errand boys” because it’s a great prompt to force two people who are polar opposites and would never interact to hang out/do an activity together, so I thought it fit them perfectly.

In the fic I changed a few things from canon (sexualities obviously- Tori is bi/queer and Hairo is gay. Although quick side-tangent- I’ve written Tori/Kaidou, Tori/Akechi, and now Tori/Hairo and all three of them either are Asexual or are often headcanonned as ace by the community/me and I just find it very funny that the horniest character is continuously shipped with them. I only realized I did this after I first started writing the fic.)

- Hairo explicitly has psychic powers (it’s something they can bond over and it’s something that plays off of Hairo’s emotions. Cue a lot of blushing not only because of embarrassment but also actual literal heat rushing to his face.)

- Hairo was raised by a single parent (His family is never mentioned so I just made one up)

- Personal headcanon, but I feel like Toritsuka might occasionally pretend to not see spirits in order to avoid getting approached.

- Toritsuka’s backstory has been slightly altered and has a lot more angst to an already pretty sad backstory (it’s played for laughs, but imagine how that would’ve felt for him :( he realized he lost two people he loved in a matter of minutes. Also, he’s a child when this happens so that’s even sadder. I honestly wonder if they died somewhere in the house or he was just there and his guardians didn’t know, like??? How???)

If this made you interested in reading the fic which this is all about, I’ll link it at the end, but if you were just here for the rant, that’s cool too! I’m obsessed with these two because they’re adorable and I must spread the gospel of Torihai.

Link to original fic-

[nikoniclove]

hey! just had a few random questions since you posted we could ask you anything :)

do you have a favorite music artist(s) or even a band to listen to?

all time favorite song that you could play on repeat?

favorite episode of criminal minds? so far at least, since you have said you haven’t actually finished the whole show yet. although i do agree with that as i’ve also gone back to comfort episodes or seasons. i’ve finished both cm and cme but just can’t will myself to rewatch the whole thing in order. do you plan on finishing the show though and eventually moving to cme?

is it possible for you to choose between jj or emily?

do you happen to have a favorite show or movie other than cm?

and finally since this is getting a bit lengthy (sorry haha) do you have a favorite story or chapter that you’ve written for the series?

Fun, fun. Let’s see

Favorite band/music: I listen to a bit of everything, but I love pink and have for many, many years. I’m always a sucker for the shit that came out when I was a teenager: panic at the disco, paramore, fall out boy, mayday parade, three days grace, that era of pop-punk stuff. Also love Jess Glynne.

All time favorite song: explosions by Ellie Goulding is up there given that it’s tattooed on my skin. I don’t know though. My ADHD means I get hyper focused on music and can listen to songs 500 times in a row (like nothing but that one song for days at a time) and then I will completely forget it exists.

Favorite criminal minds episodes: oooh. The cannibalism episode in season 2 or 3 always sticks with me. I will rewatch season 2 through 7 ish over and over again in order and rarely skip anything. Eventually I will probably watch the new stuff, but for me, rewatching the old stuff is a coping mechanism because I know what’s going to happen where I don’t have that reassurance with the new stuff. It’s a catch 22 for my brain haha /shrug

JJ vs Emily: honestly I flip back and forth. I’ll write a lot of one of them and then realize I’ve been heavy handed and veer back in the other direction. I like the characters for different reasons, so it’s all kind of dependent on my mood, but for 20 years I’ve always been drawn to the 2 of them

Other favorite shows: castle, rizzoli and isles, psych, schitt’s creek

Other favorite movies: most marvel stuff, the proposal, I suck at watching movies because I get distracted so I haven’t seen a lot of things

Favorite story: mmm I like writing brat Ace quite a bit because I’m a sarcastic pain in the ass, so it’s easy to write. I also like writing angst more than I like writing fluff or smut, so probably something in that vein.

[instantbreplay]

HELLO!

I HAVE A THEORY! And this is a theory regarding the newest character of Honkai: Star Rail, the rootin’ tootin’, flamboyant, brash, and trigger happy space cowboy of the Galaxy Rangers—Boothill! This will be posted on both Tumblr and AO3 for those who do not have either or for easier access! By the way, this theory contains mentions of leaks and in-game content, so if you don't want to get any spoilers, I advise not to read this theory at all.

For starters, I will admit that I haven’t played Honkai: Star Rail in a while due to…whatever reason I had, and one of those reasons was because of Twisted Wonderland! I was playing that for a while—still am—I was having a blast insulting Ace and having aneurysms over the students’ antics and methods of breaking people out (I’m lookin’ at you, Rook). It was great! Then, Star Rail showcases two new characters on their Twitter page for their newest planet known as Penacony, one of them being Boothill who a lot of people were upset with due to them wanting the characters, Sam and/or Firefly who unfortunately met her demise in the newest update, and…well, I fell head over heels for him and started saving for him (122 PULLS WITH 20 PITY BABY BUT HE’S MY FIRST FEATURED CHARACTER SO PRAY FOR ME). I kept up with leaks because I could care less about gameplay, stat kit, and character lore leaks since that’s the interesting part and helps me figure out if I want the newest character…like my Al-Haitham theory which did not age well, this theory about Boothill does stem from exhaustion from not sleeping, but I feel like this is a more coherent and sound theory than the last, and I have to say that I have to take this with a grain of salt—and I advise the same for you—because it’s merely a theory. I can be wrong on certain things, but without ado, I’ll start with what really feels like the backbone of this theory, and that is Boothill’s name: Boothill.

The Name

So, just to give a little context, prominently in Asian media—most notably Japanese and Chinese entertainment from what I’ve seen as I played HoYo games and watched a lot of anime—characters tend to have name pun which correspond with their personality, physical design, talents, etc., to give people a little laugh and be like, “Ooooh! I get what they mean!” For example, Zhongli, in HoYoverse’s most popular game, Genshin Impact, written as 钟离 in simplified Chinese, is a pun of his departure—his retirement—as Rex Lapis: 钟 Zhōng being a homophone for the word for “clock” as it’s spelled exactly the same, while 离 Lí is a common word for “leaving” or “away”. Putting it together, it can be taken as “time of departure/leaving” or “off the clock” which foreshadowed Zhongli stepping down as Archon of Liyue.

With that knowledge in mind, I looked at Boothill's name and decided to Google it because I knew it was a pun of some sort! My only thought was that his name could have been a reference to a western (cowboy) film I never heard of which, to me, made sense as Boothill is modeled after stereotypical cowboys, and HoYo loves pop culture references with the Genius Invokation TCG which is a reference to the ever-so-popular card game, Yu-Gi-Oh, and how March 7th and Caelus made a reference to the movie, Fight Club, when the Moles were talking about the first rule of Fight Club…never talk about Fight Club! So, I thought Boothill was a nod to an old movie!

…No! A lot of people have already Googled it, but for those who probably don’t know, Boothill’s name comes from a burial grounds for gunfighters—with headstones engraved with the gunfighter’s name or “unknown” if the identity of the person has not been found—in the Old American West called a Boot Hill, and that name derives from the phrase “those who died with their boots on”, meaning that the gunfighter died rather violently. I did see someone say that the phrase could also mean that they were hanged, and that part is correct as the context of the expression changed in the early 19th century. However, I don’t believe that Boothill was hanged—although it is a possibility that I will keep in mind! Again, I have to take this theory with a grain of salt so I don’t die on that hill again, but seeing Boothill’s situation that he’s metal and wires from the chin down, he most likely died in a very extreme battle in the past since the only thing human about him…is his head!

His body must have been blasted to oblivion to where it was beyond saving, beheading him from the impact of whatever and whoever killed him. Now, some people may think that they probably just beheaded him or he was shot multiple times in the chest: other possibilities I will keep in mind, but that would mean he could have resulted as some kind of Frankenstein instead because if the body was still there, the Interastral Peace Corporation or IPC (the people who rebuilt Boothill) would use that since he has things to salvage like a heart or liver, etc., yet if we look at another Star Rail character named Luka who hails from the Underworld, he is missing an arm which is replaced with a mechanical one. That is because Luka saved a child in a fire involving a monster possibly from the Fragmentum, and his arm was chopped off by the ax the monster wielded, giving him the prosthetic he has today. So, if we compare Luka to Boothill in terms of how bad the conflict in Boothill’s past was, Boothill lost too much of his body from the chin down for the IPC to even save, leaving him with a full body prosthetic.

The Light Cone

Now, the question that we have…why was Boothill killed? Who could’ve had such a grudge against him that they killed him off so violently? Well, that is where his Light Cone description comes in. Let’s focus on the middle of the description where it states:

“Some cruel memories resurfaced as the unforgettable hatred turned into a weak light in the darkness.”

The Light Cone entirely describes when Boothill was regaining consciousness and how he felt while briefly in a limbo before being greeted by a doctor in the IPC. What sticks out are these “cruel memories” and this “unforgettable hatred” that he has which calls back to what happened before he died. I’ll lead into this with another point I have to make this make sense a little bit: Boothill is a bounty hunter. Why do I think this? Well, we get a glimpse of this in-game in the newest update of Star Rail where Black Swan answers the phone to a mysterious Pathstrider of the Hunt who is part of the Galaxy Rangers (a gang who “swore to punish the wretched by any and all means”) who is tracking down Acheron, ready to kill her for reasons unknown as of right now: that was Boothill who has been confirmed to be a Pathstrider of the Hunt along with him being a Galaxy Ranger as he calls Acheron an “imposter” who is also a Galaxy Ranger, most likely hinting that Acheron is going undercover and infiltrating the group. We also know it is him from his line, “My bullets will find you”, since he is a gunslinger with a bullet motif on his hat and actual bullets around his waist and one hanging from his left ear.

Going back to the point I made, he’s obviously smart with pinpointing someone’s location such as Acheron’s and having at least some information on her like her being an Emanator. His Path, the Hunt, is said to “admire determination, ruthlessness, and tenacious behavior”, which fits Boothill’s Light Cone description as well as his possible reason for his alliance with the Galaxy Rangers and why his finger is ready to shoot Black Swan if she was an ally of Acheron stating to “get [her] forehead clean…and wait for [him]”. A bounty hunter would have to be ruthless with their target, showing little to no emotion as they are the person they are after, the person who wronged their client or the bounty hunter themselves, and it is obvious that Boothill is determined to gather any info from Black Swan to continue his hunt with Acheron.

Now, with that in mind…Boothill had to have been a bounty hunter in the past who was wronged as he had “cruel memories” returning to his mind, and he had anger in his heart that was weakening but helped him return to the living world. If I were to guess, he may have had a loved one who died at the hands of someone else and gained the skills to become a bounty hunter in his previous life to hunt that person down because he had “unforgettable hatred”, and that had to be at a level where he couldn’t let go especially if he had “cruel memories”, and those could probably be that he watched that same loved one get brutally tortured and/or murdered in front of him. As to who the loved one of Boothill could have been, it could have been anyone: his father, his mother, a sister, brother, a best friend—Unfortunately, we do not have the information to determine that for sure, but I truly believe that it could be someone he was very close to that was tortured and/or killed for, again, reasons unknown.

The IPC

From what we gathered in the leaks and what HoYo has already established, it was the IPC that brought Boothill back with unknown intentions, but to me for this theory, it’s because of his skills as a bounty hunter since he must have been the best hunter wherever he came from. However, Boothill has a new grudge against the IPC as the his reveal information stated that, “His flamboyant and brash actions were all to draw the attention of the Interastral Peace Corporation — the target of his revenge.” The man is very flamboyant as we can holler back to his Ultimate, his skill…the freaking JoJo poses—

—(somebody in HoYo is a JoJo fan—IT'S BECOME INCREDIBLY CLEAR NOW) so I can see him causing havoc and being flashy to purposely attract their attention so he can properly get his revenge on them due to them making him into a cyborg which he isn’t happy about.

However…if I go back to the Light Cone description…at the very end, it said that Boothill “would no longer live for himself.” Sounds a little strange, doesn’t it? Here he is greeted by the doctor that saved him, and he’s clenching his new iron fists (literally speaking) because he knows what the IPC’s intentions are. If he’s no longer living for himself, that doctor would most likely have a sadistic tone when he welcomed him back because they experimented on him, testing him and his new body and using him for unspeakable things against his will, and why do I believe this?

Think back to Boothill’s gameplay and the leak of his gun’s range. That could be a reason, and a way I can describe it is by using Bucky Barnes, a.k.a. the Winter Soldier, in the MARVEL franchise. In the movie, Captain America: The First Avenger, Bucky was believed to be killed during a fall off a hijacked train in WWII in an attack against HYDRA, a sub-Nazi group led by the Red Skull, Steve becoming devastated by his best friend’s death. However, in Captain America: Civil War, it was revealed that Bucky was actually brainwashed, gaining a prosthetic arm (like Luka), and became a Super Soldier under HYDRA as they experimented to revive Dr. Erskine’s research for the original Super Soldier serum. Plus, HYDRA knew of his friendship with Steven Rogers and that Steve was alive but was going to expose S.H.I.E.L.D. for their lies, making him a threat. So, they trained and used Bucky as their line of defense since he was the only successful experiment that remotely compares to Captain America in strength and combat.

Because of Boothill’s skills in gunslinging, the IPC possibly saw this as an opportunity to have an effective line of defense in case something were to happen in their facility or if there was someone they needed to eliminate; they would have Boothill who had those qualifications to be their guard dog, but hearing how Boothill talks in-game for the first time, you could hear a hint of insanity in him as he keeps insisting that he will kill Acheron and Black Swan with lines such as “My bullets will find you”, “you best find a casket store on Penacony, and ask the owner to reserve a good quality casket for you”, “I’ll leave a round for you, so get that forehead clean and wait for me”, and “Are you askin’ me to write your will?” He wants to kill anybody who hurts him, still having that anger. That must have been how he felt when he was trapped in the IPC facility, going through experiment after experiment that broke him to the point that he couldn’t take it anymore as he is still human; he still has emotions and a mind of his own despite being 90% iron and wires.

Boothill knew, from the sound of that doctor’s tone, that he would be seen as their Super Soldier, a little toy they could dispose of if he was deemed useless; he was nothing but a heartless, soulless object to them which most likely broke him. Boothill has calmed down since his possible escape from an IPC facility and killing people in order to have a successful breakout, but he still has that pain inside his heart because of the possible abuse he faced that he’s trying to protect himself from being betrayed or used again which is why he’s so expressive and flamboyant.

He wants to live for himself and show the IPC just how human he was. However, he’s still showing off how strong he is as a warning to others of what he can do to them if they ever crossed him.

Now, I cannot stress enough that this is just a theory (A GAAAAAME THEORY), and I have to take this with a grain of salt because there is still a lot we don't know about Boothill regarding his past or his relationship with the IPC. Heck, a friend of mine and I believe that Boothill may not actually be his real name, but there's no evidence of his real name to even prove that point. This is all speculation, and what I gathered and thought about using any resources I have at my disposal to produce this, so please—for the love of the QUEEN OF HEARTS HERSELF—do not take this as actual, confirmed, or leaked information on Boothill's backstory since there are many unanswered questions. For now, I'll stick to what I got until Boothill is finally released!

And hopefully not die on that hill like I did with Al-Haitham...

[bluedalahorse]

For the ask game: 6, 16, and 20.

6. Characters you have ace, aro, or queerplatonic headcanons for

Ooh, a fun one! My aro and ace headcanons migrate a bit, depending on the fic. But I’ll list a few that I like:

I sometimes love the idea of aspec Felice (I have written her with multiple different sexual orientations though.)

I enjoy @heliza24’s aroace Ayub and @starvalisedham’s.

I adore @sflow-er’s ace Henry, in all his iterations.

I sometimes headcanon Maddie and/or Fredrika as alloaro. Fredrika in particular would be a fun character to write as aromantic and closeted even to herself, because she puts forward such a “traditional” idea of love at first that make the romantic clichés are her only frame of references? And then she hooks up with her best friend because of course she loves her best friend, right? I’d love to read a fic where Stella and Fredrika navigate their way through that.

On the queerplatonic side of things, @heliza24 and I essentially ended up writing Sara and Wilhelm as a QPR in Heart and Homeland, and we are FOREVER BITTER that the show only allowed them one brief exchange of dialogue.

16. A song that reminds you of a secondary character or pairing

Gotta say, “It’s Alright” by Dar Williams has got some strong August vibes. Shout out to “Rearrange the Art” by Sarah Jarosz and “Anchor to the World Below” by Freezepop as saraugust songs, also.

20. Dream fanfic about a secondary character and/or pairing that you’d love to read but don’t want to write yourself

Echoing @sflow-er’s exact words here: “I'd love to read a long, nuanced fic focused on Sar(au)gust in a canon-compliant or canon-divergent (but not full AU) setting, with a good-faith take on their individual characters and them as a pairing.”

With the add-on of: I’d love to read that kind of fic for them that takes their story in a direction I haven’t thought of! Obviously I have lots of saraugust fics swimming in my head but I’d love something multichapter where I don’t know exactly what’s going to happen next because I didn’t write it. Preferably something not too heavy on the tropey romance—I get that tropes are some of the building blocks of stories, but I’d love to see it fleshed out with good, solid characterization.

Bonus points if there’s Dark Academia vibes. Saraugust and Dark Academia go together so well.

Alternately: an AU where August is doing competitive figure skating and it’s slowly burning him out, and meanwhile Sara takes up skating as a hobby because she’s unable to do horses for some reason and she’s not great at it at first until August can teach her things, and they end up skating together. A friend wrote a snippet of that for me once and I was left with an ABSOLUTE CRAVING.

Asks are here if anyone else wants to play! I’ve answered: 3, 5, 6, 7, 15, 20. About to answer 12 and 17 next.

[iridescentoracle]

So, I talked the other day a Whole Bunch about how I’d rewrite Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney to make it actually good. Obviously, I’ve thought about the subsequent games too. It took me a lot longer to figure out what I’d do with Dual Destinies, and I’m still not sure about Spirit of Justice, but one thing that made a lot of stuff click into place was thinking about the original trilogy, and how it ultimately can be boiled down to three main themes/plotlines:

Satire/Critique of the Japanese legal system

Generational Trauma Surrounding the Kurain Channeling Legacy

[gestures at Phoenix and Edgeworth’s relationship]

There’s a lot of reasons the so-called “Apollo Justice trilogy” games all feel wildly disconnected from each other and also mostly the original trilogy, but I think a lot of it comes down to how the themes/plotlines from the original games get lost or are irrelevant because we’ve got a new cast of characters, but there’s nothing tying the new games together but a shared (and much more dramatically expanding) cast of characters.

So for this proposed rewrite project, I’m fixing that. The Apollo Justice trilogy is going to be a trilogy, and that means shared/extended themes and plots that tie all three games together, and tie this trilogy back to the original even though most of the original cast, in this version, have even smaller roles (see: Apollo’s shitty mentor in my rewrite of AA4 being a separate person from Phoenix, who we barely see, etc).

So:

The legal system satire/critique stays consistent in rewritten DD & SOJ, instead of getting completely forgotten about/undermined in DD and doubled down to the point of losing all meaning in SOJ.

Generational Trauma Surrounding the Troupe Gramarye Legacy

honestly i haven’t figured this part out yet but it involves apollo somehow. this rewrite project is a work-in-progress and i’m mostly figuring it out as i go

I’m going to get to each of these in turn, starting (more or less) with the legal system critique, although it’s about to look like I’m mostly complaining about bad writing (in the form of character actions that seem to have been written without any thought actually put into making them make sense from the perspective of the characters in question), which is fair because I kind of am; bear with me, though, I promise it’ll be relevant and I think it’s a pretty solid illustration of how the thematic issues are inherently also narrative/characterization issues and vice versa.

So, let’s talk about Edgeworth and Blackquill’s plan and why the hell they thought that was a good idea. I swear to god, I cannot figure out how that entire plotline makes any sense, unless Edgeworth worked out that Blackquill thought he was covering for Athena and also that the real murderer was probably the Phantom purely via considering the parallels to his own life.

Because, like, the thing is. “this convicted murderer is allowed to be a prosecutor in the last few months before his execution (for murder), thanks to the machinations of a man who has dedicated the last like eight years of his life to being Staunchly Anti-Prosecutorial-Corruption” is just. completely nonsensical. So Edgeworth has to have some reason to think he wasn’t actually the murderer. But the canon trial makes it pretty clear Blackquill was the only suspect thanks to #1 nobody checking the security footage carefully #2 Blackquill making sure Athena wasn’t one, so why would Edgeworth think that? But for that matter, how did Edgeworth even know Blackquill, like, existed, let alone learn about the Phantom? Like, maybe he heard about Blackquill from a third party and got curious and looked into things, or was, like, looking through records of Prosecutors Found Guilty Of Crimes for some reason and found a case he and Phoenix hadn’t been involved in (for once) and had Questions, okay, but he wouldn’t have found out about the Phantom either of those ways, so even if he also somehow learned about him separately, why would he think to connect the two? So he has to have learned about Blackquill’s information on the Phantom from Blackquill, but why would Blackquill confide in someone else like that?

The only way I can make any of those pieces fit together in my head is if Edgeworth figured out Blackquill was attempting to cover for a kid who set off all of the Parallels To DL-6 alarm bells in Edgeworth’s head, and Edgeworth’s two mental options are “just fucking leave. run for it now. never think about this again” and “okay but what if neither the kid nor the other adult in the room was actually the person who murdered the kid’s parent. maybe there was a secret third adult who killed them for mysterious reasons” and he picks metaphorical door #2 (rather than leaving through literal door #1 and going home) and man do i want to see what that conversation/logic chess sequence looked like. At what point did Edgeworth contemplate the possibility of watching Phoenix cross-examine the defendant’s pet hawk

Also, crucially when i say Edgeworth picks #2, I mean he says that out loud, bc I really don’t buy that Blackquill would have just casually confided in him (or anyone) about the Phantom, but Edgeworth working out that Blackquill was trying to protect Athena (who he thinks really did it) and immediately going “okay i see why you assumed it was her but have you considered: what if there was secretly a third party who was the real murderer all along” does seem like the one thing that would actually get him to talk.

And tbh? I think everything makes more sense and is even more compelling if Edgeworth and Blackquill’s plan isn’t just to lure out the Phantom bc he’s a ~super spy with nefarious motives etc, but to lure out the real murderer, now that they’ve realized he probably exists.

To be clear, i don’t think that’s what was intended to have happened in canon, but i think it’s what would have to be true for Edgeworth’s involvement not to be hopelessly stupid and counterproductive.

And this is what I mean about the problems with the characterization/narrative choices being intimately intertwined with the thematic issues, because Edgeworth’s whole deal is fundamentally tied up in the legal system satire of the first three games (and Investigations 1 & 2, for that matter) and so it’s incoherent/inconsistent/nonsensical on a character/narrative level and a thematic level both at the same time. If we’re supposed to believe he did something as stupid as “letting a convicted murderer be a prosecutor without a reason to believe he had not, in fact, committed any crimes” then it undercuts his entire arc up to this point. Still, even that proposed backstory/context, while it would at least provide an understandable motivation/train of reasoning that would actually be in keeping with what we know about Edgeworth up to this point, is ultimately rooted in the Phantom plotline as it exists in canon, which I think is fundamentally flawed on three different levels, and genuinely fixing Dual Destinies requires completely rewriting it.

The three central problems with the Phantom plot, IMO, are actually pretty simple:

The legal system critique that ultimately was part of the heart of the first four games gets completely forgotten about.

Ableism

The stakes are too high and not personal enough, which undercuts the emotional impact and weakens the audience’s emotional investment.

To elaborate, because I’m not sure all of those are equally evident at a glance:

One of our main antagonists is a prosecutor who’s also a convicted murderer and… the worst thing he actually does is be mean to people. No evidence tampering, no forgery, no witness suppression, no actual murder. He’s just kinda scary-looking. The ultimate main villain of the game is a cop! He spends most of the game being nice and friendly and helpful but at the end of the day he committed a whole bunch of crimes, Dual Destinies says ACAB oh wait no never mind he’s actually an imposter and the real police detective he’s impersonating was probably genuinely a really good guy.

The whole “the Phantom has no emotions and therefore doesn’t really count as a person I guess so it’s okay to prove his identity even though the very explicitly established consequences are He Will Be Assassinated Right There in The Courtroom, Which Is Exactly What Happens but everyone’s pretty okay with that because hey, he didn’t have emotions, it’s fine, he’s exempted from, like, deserving basic human rights I guess???” is uh. you know. sure a choice they made

It sounds ridiculous to call the original games “grounded” or “realistic,” but like… at the end of the day, the culprits in the first four games are all just… people? The most powerful people who turned out to be murderers were, like, the CEO of a company, a chief of police, a popular actor, etc. Those are real kinds of people who do normal crimes in real life. The characters are ridiculous and over-the-top but at the end of the day the stakes mostly felt high because they were personal. Even when there’s magic involved, the actual crimes are ultimately things that could have happened for mundane reasons too! All the drama with spirit channeling and at the end of the day, half the spirit channeling-related crimes in the original trilogy come down to someone trying to kill or disgrace her sister and niece so that her own kid will inherit, or a teenage girl dealing with emotional abuse/neglect trying to escape and then trying to cover her tracks or get revenge on people she felt had personally hurt her. But now our stakes involve international espionage and a super-spy who can look like anyone? Absurd as it is to say, Dual Destinies doesn’t feel grounded the way the original trilogy did, and outside Athena’s trial, the personal aspects of the cases mostly come down to “the victim and/or suspect are cared about by the characters we care about,” which isn’t enough to bring the absurdly high stakes back down to something it’s easy to genuinely be invested in.

So. Let’s fix all of those. Conveniently, they all have the same solution: Bobby Fulbright is genuinely a cop. He’s exactly who he seems like up until the canon reveal. He is good-natured and cheerful and energetic and mostly pretty helpful to our protagonists. He’s also the man who murdered Metis Cykes and Clay Terran.

Instead of international espionage, he was engaged in corporate espionage. He was a security guard at GYAXA who got bribed to steal some of Metis Cykes’ research, but got caught and panicked and stabbed her. Even after Simon Blackquill was found guilty, he still felt too nervous to keep working at more or less the scene of the crime, and quit the private security guard gig in favor of becoming a cop. Seven years later, new Chief Prosecutor Edgeworth continued his whole signature anti-corruption deal, going through records of convictions of past prosecutors & law enforcement officers, and something about Blackquill’s conviction didn’t sit right, so he arranged to meet the guy in person. Hearing the story from Blackquill’s own mouth, Edgeworth saw some parallels between UR-1 and DL-6, figured out out that Blackquill had falsely confessed under the belief Athena Cykes had accidentally killed her own mother, and (mostly for DL-6 reasons) theorized that there could have been a third person on the scene who managed to escape undetected. Investigating the evidence, he found the security footage of someone in a security guard uniform and Metis Cykes’ jacket leaving the scene of the crime, and met with Blackquill again with that information and a record of Athena testifying at Blackquill’s trial that she’d seen a stranger in her mother’s lab before Simon arrived. At the time she’d been written off as lying or confused due to the trauma, but with the security footage proving her right, Edgeworth and Blackquill realize that she (unlike the security camera) likely saw the security guard’s face, and so would be the only person who could potentially identify him as Metis Cykes’ real killer—thus putting Athena in danger, if they ever happened to meet.

Without actual evidence linking the unknown security guard to the crime, though—no unidentified fingerprints had ever been found, and the footage didn’t show his face, so there was no way to figure out which of the security guards employed at the time was the real killer, if any records even still existed seven years later given that none of the security guards had been seriously considered as suspects at the time—the new evidence wouldn’t be enough to re-open Blackquill’s case, let alone overturn his conviction. (I have no idea if that would be true IRL, in the US or Japan, but this is Japanifornia, it’s fine, that’s how it works here because I say so. The burden of proof is on the defense and defendants are guilty until proven innocent.) Worse news: this whole discovery happened right after Blackquill’s execution date was finally set, severely curtailing their ability to investigate in any kind of normal sane way because Oh Boy That Time Limit, so: time for an absolutely terrible insane plan that would absolutely ruin the anti-corruption reputation Edgeworth has spent the last ten years working very hard to develop if it didn’t pay off. Also fuck it, Edgeworth says: let’s get Phoenix Wright involved, this is exactly the kind of batshit gamble he thrives on.

(Note: this game rewrite is set post–my Apollo Justice rewrite, in which Phoenix was never disbarred, and he and Edgeworth got together within a year of T&T. See here for elaboration and, like, a lot of complaining about how AJ should have been amazing and wasn’t.)

As in canon, the plan in question is, essentially:

Let Blackquill return to prosecuting crimes again while still a convicted murderer on death row

?????

The real murderer of Metis Cykes is caught and Blackquill is proven innocent after all

Profit

I have no idea what step two is supposed to be but given that step three of the canon plan seemed to be “the Phantom turns up to steal back the psych profile which he somehow finds out Blackquill had all along” and I didn’t understand step two there either, I don’t super care.

Blackquill agrees to the whole crazy plan, but only on the condition that both Edgeworth and Phoenix swear they won’t tell anyone about the real plan without his permission, and in particular they absolutely will not tell Athena specifically.

Phoenix, who just hired Athena like a week ago, and has definitely connected the dots to figure out she became a lawyer to save Blackquill and is seeing some parallels of his own:

…But Blackquill’s life is the one in imminent danger (his execution date has just been set) and the whole plan relies on his cooperation, so ultimately (after a lot of arguing), Blackquill wins and they agree.

It’s not easy; after 1-5 and 3-5, Edgeworth and Phoenix were not going to be easily convinced not to tell Athena. They have seen how Complicated Scheming With The Goal Of Protecting A Young Woman But Without, Like, Telling Her Anything goes before (not to mention the more general Bad Associations with the possibility that someone out there might be plotting the death of a kid for the crime of being inconvenient in some way, see 1-4 and 2-2 and arguably 3-1), but I absolutely do believe that Blackquill would listen to all their arguments and still be like “my only priority is Athena’s safety; if she finds out about any of this she will try to investigate and will not prioritize her own safety, I don’t care what you think, if you tell her anything I’m out,” so ultimately they’re stuck.

On a side note, Trucy (when she does turn up in Dual Destinies) is a delight, but her role is bizarrely tiny for someone who’s hands-down the best new character of the trilogy, so in this rewrite she actually spends most of the game investigating with Apollo and Athena. She’s not actually super happy about it, though, because she wants to be investigating with Phoenix but he won’t let her, or even tell her about what his current case is. She feels like he doesn’t trust her and she’s pretty hurt though she doesn’t want to talk about it, etc, and in general there are canon-typical levels of hinting at deeper issues without actually directly addressing them.

In the end, things get more or less wrapped up by Phoenix (and Edgeworth) being like “look we wanted to tell all three of you what was going on but we were sworn to secrecy, and it was Blackquill’s life on the line so we couldn’t risk breaking his trust,” with the implication of further discussions to be had off-screen/post-game abt the deeper insecurities and anything that still feels insufficiently well justified, but just like that, here’s Trucy in a larger role with a new emotional conflict/interestingly complicated relationship that nevertheless doesn’t require/get much screen time bc Phoenix isn’t there for her to be actively having this conflict with.

There’s also a whole new case added between 5-3 and 5-4 that revolves around the Gramarye family legacy, in which Trucy, Apollo, and Lamiroir all learn who they are to each other, but I’ll get to that later.

In the meantime, back to the Fulbright thing! As in canon, he’s both Blackquill’s assigned police detective and his parole officer, which definitely secretly kind of terrifies Fulbright because oh god oh fuck he was a suspect specifically because he used to hang around the space center with his sister & mentor back when I worked there, what if he recognizes me, but hey, keep your enemies close, right? Especially when they’re definitely planning something, and also the only person who knows they didn’t actually commit the murder they were convicted for that was actually your doing. So.

(If Athena notices that despite his cheerful demeanor and attempt to be casual about the whole thing, he actually sounds terrified of Blackquill, it’s ironically very easy to brush off bc like. Look he tries to be cheerful and good-natured but Blackquill’s a scary guy, okay, just look at him, etc.)

So, with Fulbright secretly there all along, not in on the investigation/unaware there’s new evidence that could help point at his guilt but still close enough to keep an eye on things, no further progress is actually made in the luring-out-Metis-Cykes’-real-killer project, and time starts growing short.

Meanwhile, GYAXA is preparing for a manned rocket launch. Time to rewrite some more backstory.

A bit more than seven years ago, Solomon Starbuck worked for a private sector rival of GYAXA, but their secret use of sub-standard materials nearly proved deadly for him, and upon returning to Earth, he quit and joined GYAXA instead. The rival company’s reputation took multiple massive hits (from the near-failure of the mission, the subsequent exposé about cost-cutting measures at the expense of employee safety up to and including materials used in rocket ships, and the newly-famous Starbuck’s resultant departure for GYAXA), and they promptly resorted to attempting corporate espionage (via bribing security guard Bobby Fulbright), leading to Metis Cykes’ death.

Seven years later, when GYAXA starts gearing up for Starbuck’s next trip into space, their rival company attempts to cause the launch to be canceled via phone calls claiming the rocket will be sabotaged otherwise. The hoax partially works: the director secretly arranges for the launch to be faked bc he believes better safe than sorry but he doesn’t have the authority to just straight-up officially cancel it, and meanwhile the police are also alerted of the claimed bomb threat, and a team is sent to ensure everything goes fine, which would’ve been fine, except Fulbright is on the team.

That would also be fine, except Fulbright is already concerned because Blackquill’s execution date is closing in so there must be something big going on that he doesn’t know about but even being Blackquill’s parole officer/detective hasn’t let him figure out what. (Ironically, he’s probably wrong; Edgeworth and Phoenix and Blackquill are all getting pretty stressed about things getting down to the wire, but don’t actually have any more concrete way to lure out the real killer or they already would’ve arranged it, and mostly what’s going on behind-the-scenes is arguments about getting more people (including Athena) involved in the investigation.) When he then learns about the bomb threat to GYAXA and (correctly) guesses that it’s likely the doing of GYAXA’s rival company who’d bribed him all those years ago, Fulbright is super paranoid about the possibility that the bomb threat might be real, and if it is that it might be the work of a new security guard, and if it is and they get caught, that the already-raised suspicions regarding Blackquill’s innocence will be basically confirmed, and Fulbright himself will finally be suspected of the murder of Metis Cykes.

As a result of his paranoia, Fulbright goes poking around in areas he wasn’t actually supposed to be, accidentally runs into Clay Terran, and (in a panic) kills him. Solomon Starbuck is deemed the primary suspect, Apollo takes the case, and a bomb squad specialist (disappointed the threat to GYAXA turned out to be a hoax) gets bored. The Cosmic Turnabout and Turnabout Countdown commence.

Things actually mostly go as in canon, just following on from the differences I’ve already established. The final major change is that while the hostage situation still happens, we’re lowering the stakes and making them more personal: it’s not a dozen people conveniently-for-Aura including Trucy, and there’s no fake robot uprising. Trucy is the hostage and Aura’s pretty open about it being her doing from the start.

Again, this is a sequel to my alternate version of AA4. Phoenix never got disbarred and he and Edgeworth have been together for years. It is common knowledge that Trucy is the daughter of Phoenix Wright + the new chief prosecutor. Since she’s Blackquill’s sister, Aura might even be one of the few people who knows Edgeworth found new information about the UR-1 incident (although she either doesn’t know about or doesn’t buy the security guard theory), and that this whole weird letting-Blackquill-prosecute-cases arrangement is part of some sort of plan to prove his innocence, so hey, win-win, right? Phoenix and Edgeworth try Athena for her mother’s murder, they prove Blackquill innocent just like Edgeworth was already trying to do anyway, and their daughter doesn’t get hurt.

Also there’s still room for an “oh no the robot uprising!” joke in there, potentially. The robots all start acting weird, someone’s like OH NO THE ROBOT UPRISING! CURSE YOUR SUDDEN BUT INEVITABLE BETRAYAL, I GLADLY SURRENDER TO OUR NEW ROBOT OVERLORDS etc and then via the nearest robot Aura is like “oh my god shut up” and it turns out all the robots are acting weird bc they’re all looking for Phoenix or one of his associates to let him know his daughter’s being held hostage and he better listen up.

Aaaand that’s about all I’ve got on that front. I know the culprit not being a super-spy and there not being actual bombs at the HAT-2 fake launch creates some plot holes but while I’m a life-long mystery fan, I’m not a mystery writer and that’s not really the part of this that I’m good at coming up with solutions to, although if anyone’s got ideas I am All Ears.

It’s not the most hard-hitting critique of the legal system, and I’m still working on figuring out how to improve it more; in particular, I’m honestly torn about Blackquill even turning out to have been completely innocent because it very much was a Whole Thing that all the prosecutors used to start out as corrupt and the ones we like had to become better, or, you know. go to jail for the crimes they very much did in fact commit. So it actually feels like a real step down, having the prosecutor in this one be a straight-up convicted felon who… turns out to have done nothing wrong and been a good guy all along actually, surprise! But I can’t figure out how to change that without undermining the whole resolution of the game and turning him into a fundamentally different character, so for now that part is what it is.

Meanwhile, at the end of the day: ACAB, including Bobby Fulbright who is actually genuinely a cop, and used his position to avoid being found guilty for crimes he’d committed (up to and including forging evidence to frame someone else). Which is to say, what the game almost said, without the haha nope nvm he was an imposter and the real Bobby Fulbright was probably a great guy actually of it all. Also in this version Fulbright casually tazing Blackquill is like. actually treated as fucked up and a reminder that oh right cops still suck and even if one seems friendly he will probably absolutely abuse his power over others given the slightest excuse, and also no one deserves to be subjected to police brutality. And while Edgeworth winds up being ethically in the clear in that he didn’t actually pull strings to let a murderer prosecute other people’s crimes bc he did know Blackquill was innocent all along, at the end of the day someone was in fact able to pull strings to let a convicted murderer etc. Which on the one hand requires a lot of suspension of disbelief, but on the other hand, like I just said about Blackquill: idk man I had to change this much just to make Fulbright work, I’ve only got so much to work with here and I’m not actually good at coming up with grand sweeping changes.

Also it occurs to me I haven’t actually established this yet but “the Dark Age of the Law” is stupid and we’re completely dropping that whole concept because if two relatively new lawyers apparently turning out to be bad people was enough to kick off a whole ~Dark Age~ and make the general public lose faith then where the hell was everybody during the reign of Demon Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth, Chief of Police Damon Gant and Chief Prosecutor Lana Skye, and the forty-year win streak of Manfred von Karma. And so forth. There’s probably room for something interesting to be done with like, the ways in which public perception of a situation doesn’t always reflect reality and large populations can be slow to consciously react to major trends and sometimes one small incident can be turned into a symbol of something it isn’t really even an example of anyway or whatever but like… I have no idea how to do that in the format of an Ace Attorney game so personally I am simply ditching that plotline wholesale.

So that’s that. Now let’s talk about Troupe Gramarye. In canon, Apollo Justice sets the Troupe Gramarye rights up to be a major plotline, but then it gets completely forgotten about in Dual Destinies, and sort of half-heartedly continued but not really resolved in Spirit of Justice. In this rewrite, the Troupe Gramarye legacy is more or less what the Kurain Spirit Channeling legacy was to the original trilogy: a nominally magical element that at the end of the day is mostly the catalyst for a story about greed and complicated families and the trauma and destruction they create.

So, the Gramarye-related cases in my rewritten Apollo Justice go as established (i.e. actually basically like canon except Phoenix escapes unscathed), except with a couple more tweaks: Lamiroir’s face is hidden way better, and neither she nor the audience learn who she is to Apollo and Trucy yet.

That gets saved for Dual Destinies’ brand new Gramarye rights-centric case.

While it could probably go earlier, I think it would fit best between Turnabout Academy and The Cosmic Turnabout. I’ve already covered the latter, so some notes about the former: plot-wise it remains unchanged, but a lot of the dialogue is different because I would have thought it was unbearably preachy and condescending at age nine and this game was rated M. We Do Not Need The Lecture, Thanks. Also Aristotle Means looks slightly more human/less like an actual straight-up marble statue because that was so unbelievably distracting. There’s weird character designs and then there’s By The Way, This Literal Marble Statue Is Sentient I Guess.

The rest of the difference is that (following on from my proposed Apollo Justice rewrite) Klavier Gavin gets to be an actual human being with feelings and not 60% of a lovingly-painted cardboard cutout of a person. He shows up with a re-design—possibly a slightly different outfit in general, I don’t have strong feelings about that, but the important thing is that he’s gotten a haircut. In my head he’s got roughly the same style from the flashback portions of 4-4, but that’s partially just because I’m not good at picturing things like that. What matters is that his hair looks nothing like Kristoph’s anymore. Also it’s established in passing that he and Trucy and Apollo have had a whole bunch of conversations in the last year and are all on good terms now, despite [gestures at 4-1 and 4-3 and 4-4], and that Klavier is doing more or less okay. Emphasis on “or less” once his beloved mentor gets murdered, but in this version he actually gets to be part of the post-case denoument conversations and establishes that he’s pretty devastated (despite the return of his professional facade) but Apollo and Trucy and Athena are all well aware of that and are, so to speak, on the case, and with their support eventually he’ll be okay.

So. With that out of the way, here’s a new case about the legacy of Troupe Gramarye.

We start off by learning that Lamiroir is in town again and Trucy wants to go see her, because last time they saw her perform live things went pretty badly and it kind of soured the whole experience in retrospect, but she really did have such a beautiful voice that Trucy wants to see her again (hopefully with nobody getting murdered this time). She talks Apollo into going with her pretty easily; he might put up a token resistance, but he’s actually not really opposed since she’s performing solo this time and he likes her music a lot when the Gavinners aren’t involved. They go to the show, and it’s everything they could have hoped for and more, including that as it turns out, she’s working with Valant Gramarye again, and the effects are, again, super impressive.

But gasp, betrayal, after the show (possibly the next day, at the Wright & Co. Offices?) it turns out that Valant sucks even more than we thought (though, you know, framing his friend/in-my-version-brother for murder and abandoning the child of the woman he loved who had just also been abandoned by her father wasn’t exactly a great start): he’s suing Trucy for the Gramarye rights, based on the premise that she inherited them under false pretenses, because he’s discovered evidence that suggests Thalassa’s death was due to active negligence on Zak’s part, and he’s arguing that while Zak was the better/more talented magician, and thus Magnifi liked him better than Valant, Thalassa was Magnifi’s beloved daughter, and there’s no way Zak would’ve been given the first shot (so to speak) at earning the Gramarye rights if Magnifi hadn’t been blinded enough by grief to believe it was an accident, and while Trucy inherited the rights fair and square from Zak, he should never have had the rights in the first place, and Valant is the rightful inheritor.

I have no idea where the rest of the plot goes because I’m not a mystery writer and I don’t know how to come up with actual plots and red herrings and clues, but eventually there’s a dramatic reveal that there was active negligence involved, which Valant knew all along bc it was his fault.

…but that reveal is ultimately secondary to the one either shortly before or shortly after, that [drumroll] Thalassa wasn’t actually dead anyway

Which, again, I’m not a mystery writer, I don’t know if or how this would actually fit, but in my head there’s a great dramatic moment where the reveal happens for the audience—Valant, Trucy, Apollo, any Troupe Gramarye fans in the gallery, and the players—but not, for the first few moments, Lamiroir herself.

For whatever reason, she removes her veil/scarf, or they slip somehow, and so she’s there on the witness stand with her face visible around other people for the first time in years. The whole gallery (and Apollo) kind of collectively draw in a breath, while Valant says her name, genuinely stunned

And in almost the same moment, Trucy (who would sound five years old, if this bit was a cutscene) says “…Mommy?”

Cue discussion, Lamiroir learns who she is, the realization that Magnifi must have known she wasn’t really dead and the real cover-up was his doing all along etc, everything gets resolved, and Valant gives up on suing Trucy for the rights.

(The “hey that’s an awfully familiar-looking bracelet” reveal probably doesn’t happen until after the rest of the case is resolved, but I don’t have particularly strong feelings about that one way or the other.)

Everything winds up reasonably happy—Apollo and Trucy find out they’re half-siblings and their mother’s alive, Lamiroir resolves to get the surgery to restore her eyesight (and in the end credits we find out it helped restore her memory too), and Trucy gets to keep the Gramarye rights bc Valant’s suit was built on two different fundamental lies (that Thalassa’s death was Zak’s fault/that it wasn’t Valant’s, and that she was, you know, actually dead), and relatedly, in a shocking twist for the series, no one actually gets murdered, and there isn’t even an accidental death!

…but any hope of Trucy and Valant reconnecting/Valant becoming a positive figure in Trucy’s life again is pretty solidly destroyed, and there’s another two blows struck against the Troupe Gramarye legacy, bc not only was Thalassa’s accident actually Valant’s fault all along, Magnifi knew she wasn’t dead and abandoned her.

In a very direct parallel to Maya at the end of 3-5, Trucy spends most of the case uncertain whether she even wants these rights anymore—she ultimately decides the answer is yes, but it’s in question from basically the moment she learns Valant’s argument for why the rights should belong to him, and even him admitting the whole thing was based in lies and the rights are hers fair and square doesn’t convince her entirely right away.

Aaaaand then The Cosmic Turnabout kicks off and we’re back to the previously-established plot!

[the-rewatch-rewind]

Here we go again, we're changing the scene.

Script below the break.

Hello and welcome back to The Rewatch Rewind! My name is Jane and this is the podcast where I count down my top 40 most frequently rewatched movies in a 20-year period. Today I will be discussing number six on my list: Shipwrecked Comedy and American Black Market’s 2017 film noir parody The Case of the Gilded Lily, directed by William J. Stribling, written by Sean Persaud and Sinéad Persaud, and starring Sean Persaud, Sinéad Persaud, Sarah Grace Hart, and Mary Kate Wiles.

It's 1939 in Los Angeles. Hardboiled private eye Ford Phillips (Sean Persaud) doesn’t touch Hollywood cases, until junior ace reporter Fig Wineshine (Sinéad Persaud) convinces him to help her childhood friend, starlet Wilhelmina Vanderjetski (Sarah Grace Hart) find out who is blackmailing her.

In my episode about Edgar Allan Poe’s Murder Mystery Dinner Party, which was number 13 on this list, I discussed how I found and fell in love with the work of Shipwrecked Comedy. If you haven’t listened to or don’t remember that episode, to summarize, I had incredibly high expectations for Edgar Allan Poe’s Murder Mystery Dinner Party, aka Poe Party, that were exceeded in every possible way, and in joining this small but enthusiastic fandom, I finally felt that I had found my people. I was very excited to learn what Shipwrecked’s next project would be, and I didn’t have long to wait. On May 30, 2017, just under seven months after the Poe Party finale, they shared a teaser poster for The Case of the Gilded Lily, which showed silhouettes of the Core Four (Sarah Grace Hart, Sinéad Persaud, Sean Persaud, and Mary Kate Wiles) in a style consistent with film noir. Since one of my favorite things about Poe Party had been the way it reminded me of classic movies, I was ecstatic to see them leaning even more directly into Old Hollywood.

The Kickstarter campaign launched a week later. Unlike Poe Party, which was an 11-episode series, Gilded Lily would be a short film, and they were only asking for $25,000. It didn’t even occur to me to be disappointed that this was going to be so much smaller; I was just excited that Shipwrecked was making another project so soon. In some ways, this Kickstarter experience was similar to the Poe Party one – the fun livestreams with backers’ names on the wall, the character reveals when milestones were reached – but in others, it was very different. For one thing, I had by this point met Shipwrecked and gotten to know many of their other fans, so instead of interacting with a bunch of pleasant strangers, these livestreams felt more like hanging out with friends. And for another, they reached their goal in less than a week, whereas Poe Party had taken almost a month, so it felt a lot less stressful, at least from a will-this-get-to-exist? perspective. They set a few stretch goals and ended up raising just over $43,000 by the time the campaign ended on June 25. I pledged a bit more to this project than I had to Poe Party, partly because I felt like I owed them for how much Poe Party had already changed my life, but also of course because of how thrilled I was that they were making something else that was related to my interests.

The main reason they were making Gilded Lily right then was because they had been invited to premiere a new project at Buffer Festival in Toronto, where they had screened all of Poe Party the year before when only the first 9 episodes were up on YouTube. I would have loved to have gone, both to see Poe Party and to see Gilded Lily, but it didn’t work out. However, Kickstarter backers at the $25 level and up would get access to watch The Case of the Gilded Lily soon after Buffer, before it was posted publicly, and that was good enough for me. Buffer Festival was only about three months after the Kickstarter ended, so Shipwrecked had a ridiculously short period of time to complete this video that they had originally intended to be about 20 minutes long but ended up with a runtime nearly twice that. I still don’t understand how they did it. I know, from talking to members of Shipwrecked at the time and from behind-the-scenes content they’ve released, that they were incredibly stressed about things like finding and locking locations, a cast member having to drop out last minute, and, of course, the budget, but still, they managed it. They successfully premiered their 38-minute long “short” film at Buffer Festival 2017 and emailed a link to backers a couple weeks later, on October 12.

I had a lot of trouble setting my expectations for The Case of the Gilded Lily. This group had just made Poe Party, so I knew they were capable of greatness, but I also knew I had no right to expect this to be on the same level as that, since it was always intended to be a much smaller project. I was sure I was going to enjoy it, but I was very curious to see how much. The first thing that struck me after I clicked the early access link was the music. The soundtrack was composed by Dylan Glatthorn, who had also composed the Poe Party soundtrack, which I absolutely should have mentioned in that episode because it is incredible. But the Gilded Lily soundtrack is somehow even better. Shipwrecked had released a video of a song from the short called “A Change of Scene” in September, written by Glatthorn and performed by Mary Kate Wiles as lounge singer Vivian Nightingale (a name that had been mentioned in Poe Party), so I already knew that was a bop, but it didn’t prepare me for how hard the opening credits music would slap. The theme is so delightfully jazzy that even after nearly six years, I can’t sit still when I hear it. That music over the black and white shots of the Hollywoodland sign and palm trees was the perfect way to set the scene. And then the opening credits finished and the film itself began.

So here’s the thing about film noir. In general, I enjoy it: I think it’s a fascinating filmmaking style and a very effective technique to tell a certain type of story, and two of my other top 40 most frequently rewatched films – Notorious and Gaslight – are fairly noir-esque, but also, film noir can get very dark. Every November, along with many film lovers on the internet, I celebrate Noirvember, a time to watch and appreciate film noir. In 2015, I actually managed to watch 30 noirs in Noirvember, and by the end of the month I noticed that it was really getting to me. I was starting to feel a constant vague sense of unease, dread, and despair. So in every November since then I’ve forced myself to consume noirs somewhat more moderately. I must have known that Gilded Lily was going to be more of a parody and not like one of the darker noirs. The group was called Shipwrecked Comedy, after all. But even Poe Party had had some pretty dark moments. I’m sure I expected jokes in The Case of the Gilded Lily, but I was utterly floored by just how laugh-out-loud funny the whole darn film was. It wasn’t dark at all, at least compared to most noirs or even to Poe Party. There wasn’t even any murder! The first time I watched it, I must have missed at least half the jokes because I was still laughing at prior gags. The plot was just as complicated and twisty as most noirs, but that first time I was barely paying attention because, again, too much laughing. Therefore, once I finished it, I naturally had to immediately rewatch it several times to pick up on the jokes and plot points I’d missed, and I was delighted but not at all surprised to find that it held up very well. I don’t recall exactly how many times I’d seen it before the link was made public on December 11, but by the end of 2017 I’d watched it nine times. I then watched it four times in 2018, six times in 2019, five times in 2020, three times in 2021, and four times in 2022. And I still think the jokes are funny. So if you haven’t watched it, you absolutely should, it’s still available for free on YouTube (link in the show notes) and it’s like the length of one episode of a TV show.

There are so many different types of humor in this film, and all of them are great. There’s the whole playing with and making fun of noir tropes aspect, including several instances of characters interrupting each other’s voiceovers, a camera rotation into a Dutch angle causing Ford to fall over, and Wilhelmina trying to smoke and drink to fit in but not quite understanding the concept. That last one serves the dual purpose of making fun of the excessive smoking and drinking common in noirs and further developing one of my favorite types of character: the confidently clueless. The Case of the Gilded Lily has two of these: Wilhelmina Vanderjetski, the starlet who’s being blackmailed, played by Sarah Grace Hart, and Dash Gunfire, Ford’s rival private eye, played by Joey Richter. Wilhelmina’s cluelessness mostly makes her happy and charming, whereas Dash’s makes him frustrated and annoying, and it’s very entertaining to see two such similar yet very different characters in the same project. Basically everything either of them says or does makes me laugh. There’s also some great physical comedy, mainly from Clayton Farris as the disgruntled Buster Keaton. Similarly, there’s humor with the set and props, like when Cliff Calloway (played by Tom DeTrinis) switches between smoking a cigar and a cigarette in the same scene depending on who he’s talking to, and when Officer Claudette Knickerbocker (played by Joanna Sotomura) is talking to Ford on the phone about how hot she finds Cliff, and it cuts away to Ford putting down the phone and pouring himself a drink and when we see Claudette again her office is in complete disarray. And then there are all the hilarious running gags. Like how whenever someone brings up that Wilhelmina’s real name is Lily THomas, Ford has to argue that it should be pronounced Thomas. And how every time the scene changes after Vivian sings “A Change of Scene” the first time, there’s a little reprise of her singing about how we’re changing the scene. And the way Fig is obsessed with cookies and keeps getting them – I am truly in awe of Sinéad Persaud’s brilliance in writing a character for herself that required her to eat lots of cookies. What an iconic move. And then there’s the running bit where Ford will pause and stare into the distance dramatically before mentioning The War, much to Fig’s confusion, until it’s finally revealed that The War was a movie he and Claudette acted in when they were children. Another running bit is the bartender Bixby Crane (played by Dante Swain) repeatedly saying his own name unnecessarily, and taking things very literally in unexpected ways. This bit was particularly funny to me because my high school band director’s name was Parker Bixby, and when we marched in the Tournament of Roses parade, one of the announcers commented, “I want to change my name to Parker Bixby.” Later somebody put that on t-shirts and Mr. Bixby ended up with one. So seeing a character named Bixby who was obsessed with his own name made me laugh even harder than it would have if they’d picked any other name for that character.

Like in Poe Party, the actors in The Case of the Gilded Lily were encouraged to play around, at least as much as their limited production time would allow, which once again resulted in an excellent blooper reel, and also some great moments in the film. One of the best is when Wilhelmina’s husband, producer Roger Haircremé, played by Gabe Greenspan, comes into the lobby from the Sufferin’ Safari premiere and says, “Sweetheart, it’s nearly giraffe time!” which was improvised. Also, major shout out to the Persauds for their incredible character names, and also to Gabe Greenspan, who filled in last minute when the original Roger had to drop out of the project. It’s kind of mind boggling that this was the first time Gabe worked with Shipwrecked and that he almost wasn’t even in this, since it’s hard to imagine their more recent projects without him. Another unscripted moment that I love is when Vivian is telling Fig about an underground gambling ring and says that they meet on Wednesday nights, adding, “Tonight. And next Wednesday. And the Wednesday after that…” That last part wasn’t in the script, but they brought it back again when Fig passes this information on to Claudette, saying, “Vivian only knew they meet tonight. And then next week. And the week after that. Basically, it’s a weekly thing.” And Joanna, not really knowing how to respond to that, just had Claudette go, “Oh, okay” and move on with her lines, and for some reason that just really tickles me.

I think the thing I appreciated the most about The Case of the Gilded Lily, once I stopped laughing long enough to analyze it, was that it felt like a typical Shipwrecked project while also feeling completely different from what they’d done before. The sense of humor felt the same as Poe Party, even though the Gilded Lily gags tended to be on the sillier side. The story was just as well thought out as Poe Party’s, but while Poe Party was being released I was constantly trying to figure out who the murderer was, whereas with Gilded Lily I didn’t even attempt to guess who the blackmailer was, I was too busy laughing. Also, being a short film rather than a series released over 11 weeks, there was much less time for speculation. Of course, the overlapping cast made the projects feel similar, and I particularly enjoyed seeing Ryan W. Garcia, who had played Eddie in Poe Party, show up as an extra in about half the Gilded Lily scenes. This ultimately inspired me to write a rather long and intense fan fiction tying a bunch of Shipwrecked projects together with the time traveling ghost of Eddie. Tom DeTrinis’s Cliff Calloway seemed about what you’d expect if Oscar Wilde was trying to pretend to be a straight film star. Joey Richter’s Dash Gunfire was similar to his Ernest Hemingway in that both were rivals with Sean’s character, although Dash is way sillier.

And then there’s the Core Four. Sean and Sinéad’s characters and dynamic were very similar in A Tell-Tale Vlog, Poe Party, and Gilded Lily: both Poe and Ford are loners who secretly desire friends, and both Lenore and Fig are outgoing and talkative and enjoy winding up Sean’s character, who begrudgingly appreciates them despite his best efforts to abhor them. But of course, they are unquestionably different characters, and I think they both did an excellent job of adjusting their mannerisms to make them feel distinct. Mary Kate and Sarah’s characters, on the other hand, are essentially the complete opposite of what they played in Poe Party. Annabel was sweet and naïve and wanted everyone to be happy, whereas Vivian is bitter and jaded and having affairs with four different men in five different states (another great line) and doesn’t seem to care about anyone besides herself. Going straight from an ingenue to a femme fatale and absolutely nailing both was an excellent way for Mary Kate Wiles to demonstrate her incredible acting range. I’d already been a huge fan of her work for over five years at that point, and I was still blown away. Vivian doesn’t even get that much screentime, but gah, what MK does with her voice, like, just, close your eyes and listen to Annabel and then listen to Vivian, you can’t even tell they’re the same person. I feel like this also helps distinguish Edgar and Ford from each other. It’s a running theme in most Shipwrecked projects that Sean’s character is super into Mary Kate’s character, although they rarely end up together, and I can’t really explain why, but I don’t feel like Poe would be particularly into Vivian, nor would Ford be interested in Annabel. But I could be wrong about that, I don’t really understand how sexual or romantic attraction works. Anyway, all that being said, if I had to pick one single favorite aspect of The Case of the Gilded Lily, it would have to be Sarah Grace Hart as Wilhelmina Vanderjetski, mostly because she is absolutely hilarious, but also because she is so different from Emily Dickinson in Poe Party. Emily is forgotten by everyone the second after she introduces herself, whereas Wilhelmina is one of the most famous stars in Hollywood. Emily seems to know what’s going on, and I have a theory that she could have figured out the whole thing if people would have just listened to her, whereas Wilhelmina, bless her, is paying blackmail while also telling everyone what she’s being blackmailed for. Also it’s literally just… having a stage name. Not really something worth paying $20,000 per week to keep secret, especially if you’re just going to tell everyone anyway. But Sarah commits to this character so hard that you never once doubt that Willie would absolutely fall prey to this ridiculous scheme. She’s so earnestly oblivious in the most endearing and hilarious way that she’s probably my favorite Shipwrecked character, and possibly my favorite character in anything ever.

What I didn’t know at the time was that originally, Shipwrecked had planned to follow Poe Party with a whole series featuring these characters, but when they got invited to Buffer they knew they wouldn’t have time for all that, so they made The Case of the Gilded Lily as kind of a pilot for the Fig and Ford series. They did make it clear that they had at least some intentions of continuing the story, with a question mark appearing after “The End” and a quick post-credits scene with Vivian bursting into Fig and Ford’s office and saying, “Mr. Phillips, something terrible has happened!” After years with no word of what this could be leading to, I had almost given up hope of more from this world, and then, in 2022, Shipwrecked launched a Kickstarter for an audio narrative called The Case of the Greater Gatsby, currently coming out weekly on all major podcast platforms, and we’re finally getting more, and it is so delightful. Once again, I don’t feel like I’m doing a very good job of trying to figure out what’s going on, but I am living for the jokes.

Classic film noir tended to be relatively sexually explicit for its time – at least, as much as it was allowed to be under production codes. In particular, the male protagonist was often led astray by his attraction to the sexy but dangerous femme fatale. The Persauds had said that they were inspired by Who Framed Roger Rabbit, another noir parody, which turns these sexy expectations around with a femme fatale type character who is, if not overtly asexual, certainly ace-coded – she’s married to a rabbit, and when asked what the attraction is, she says, and I quote, “He makes me laugh.” The Case of the Gilded Lily finds a different way to put a twist on the femme fatale trope with Vivian Nightingale, who is certainly not ace-coded, but also doesn’t seem to be particularly dangerous – at least in the Gilded Lily plot, I don’t know where Greater Gatsby is going yet. Vivian is a possible suspect, and Ford is very attracted to her, but she’s innocent and nothing bad really comes of her involvement in this story. She has an attitude of, “I have no clue how I got mixed up with you clowns, but I’ll be fabulous while I’m here" that you have to admire. Really the only romance in The Case of the Gilded Lily is the one between Wilhelmina Vanderjetski and Roger Haircremé, and that one is… questionable, to put it mildly. For one thing, Willie lied to Roger about her background to get him to marry her. For another, Roger saw through her ridiculous story but pretended not to, instead blackmailing her to pay off his gambling debts. When Fig and Ford uncover this, instead of being furious with her husband, Wilhelmina is delighted that the blackmailer was just her kind, loving husband who’d never do anything to hurt her. Typically I’m very much in favor of forgiveness, but in this case I really don’t think Roger deserves it. In a way, this could be seen as illustrating the harms of amatonormativity, showing that Wilhelmina thinks staying with a blackmailer is preferable to having no husband, but it definitely comes across as her genuinely believing that Roger has done nothing wrong. It’s weird, but I love the way this shifts the noir trope of sexy-romance-gone-wrong to be about a couple who was married at the start and has no intention of getting divorced at the end, and involves a woman who bears zero resemblance to a typical femme fatale.

Like pretty much every other Shipwrecked project (besides Kissing in the Rain), The Case of the Gilded Lily is way more focused on platonic relationships than romantic or sexual ones. Even though the crime is related to Roger and Wilhelmina’s relationship, it’s solved mainly because of Fig’s friendship with Wilhelmina, Fig’s attempts to befriend Ford, and Ford’s friendship with Claudette. I didn’t know I was aroace when this came out, but I certainly appreciated all the non-romantic storylines. And I would argue that Gilded Lily does have at least one ace-coded character, although it’s not the one who reminds us of Jessica Rabbit: it’s Fig Wineshine. She wants to be friends with everyone but doesn’t show any signs of attraction to any of them. And she has this great line in Greater Gatsby when she’s describing how Cliff Calloway is a Hollywood heartthrob: “He didn't really do it for me. But then again he wasn't circular with crispy edges and a gooey middle.” She’s saying that her type is a literal cookie. There’s no allosexual explanation for that.

My main takeaway from The Case of the Gilded Lily back in 2017 was that Poe Party was not a fluke. I had truly stumbled upon an underappreciated group of talented, hardworking geniuses when I found Shipwrecked Comedy, and I was going to keep following and supporting their work from then on no matter what. And I have never regretted doing that for a second. Most of the projects they’ve made in the years since The Case of the Gilded Lily have been too short to count as movies, but they have all been incredibly delightful. I would highly recommend everything on their YouTube channel, in addition to the Greater Gatsby podcast they’re currently releasing, especially if you enjoy Old Hollywood; I am thoroughly enjoying all the references to actual movies and actors that I love by the fictional characters from the world of Fig and Ford that I also love. Shipwrecked keeps telling the exact stories I want to see and hear, and I cannot even begin to adequately express how much joy they have brought to my life. I truly hope everyone out there has found or will find a group of artists whose work means as much to them as Shipwrecked’s does to me.

Thank you for listening to me discuss another of my most frequently rewatched movies. Next week I will enter my top 5 with the oldest movie on this list, which I also watched 31 times. As always, I will leave you with a quote from that next movie: “Always remember that the truth has never hurt any man! …And anyway, if it does, I’ll go to the hospital with you.”

[starry-eyed-never-satisfied]

Fanfic Writer Ask Game: 😅 🤡 🛒 🍦🤗🧠🤲✅🤯 sorry if this is a lot lol

No worries I love asks and talking about my writing, so the more the merrier!

😅 What's a story or scene you've created that you're a smidge embarrassed exists?

The only one I really feel weird about is Tonight I Wanna See It In Your Eyes. Just cause it's so short and doesn't go into enough detail on what I was trying to portray. I did it for writers month and tried to write it in a day, which I can't do. I love the idea though and I fully intend to expand it more one day.

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

Driving On Down The Road and reason why Butt Fuck Nowhere is called that, and the whole of 100.000 Years, it's just so silly, but I really can picture them having that whole interaction.

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

Always angst, I can't help it. Paul's sensitivity and vulnerability, Gene's tough but caring.

🍦 What's the sweetest fic you've created so far?

Hold Me. No smut, just Paul in a dark place and Gene not knowing how to help, but still being there for him.

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

Don't feel like you need to start from the beginning. Write whatever it is that has inspired you, whether it be a scene or phrase. If you get to a bit where you want a particular thing to happen but don't know how to write it just type insert smut here or insert fight here or whatever and go on to the next bit. After you've written the stuff you're confident with it's much easier to fill in the gaps.

🧠 Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them.

Here's a bittersweet head cannon about Paul and Ace for you. Neither of them will admit it, but they were close, and after Peter left they became closer. Paul didn't want Ace to leave and tried to keep him happy, even drinking with him on occasion. But he didn't want to get blackout drunk like Ace did, so it wasn't very successful. The pictures from The Elder/Creatures period, where they are holding onto each other - that's Paul silently saying don't go. But it was inevitable. And everything they have said since then comes from a place of hurt.

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

Because you liked Let Me Know so much, this is a follow up to it, called Far From The House And The Family Fights in which teenage Paul has a fight with his parents and runs away to Gene.

“We received a letter from school today, Stanley.”

Stanley.  That meant he was in trouble.  Even so, Paul rolled his eyes and headed towards his room.

“You are not going anywhere, young man!”

Stanley and young man.  He was in a shitload of trouble!

 “You are going to stay here and explain yourself!  You are on the verge of failing.  You haven’t done any homework and have been missing classes.  You’ve been drawing . . . penises in your schoolbooks.  And you told your teacher you didn’t need school because you are going to be a . . . rock star?”

Oops.  He hadn’t mentioned that particular ambition to his parents yet.

“What happened to you?” asked his father.  “You had so much potential.”

“God gave you this wonderful brain and you’re not using it,” said his mother.

Paul had heard this so many times before, and this time he lost it.

“Did he give me this stupid fucking ear too?  Because I’ll happily trade my brain for a real one!”

“Stanley Eisen!  Mind your language!”

✅ What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to?

Angst! Even when I try to write something happy or funny the angst creeps in. I don't want Paul to be unhappy all the time.

🤯 What's a genre you struggle with as a writer (ex. romance, action, etc.)?

Fight scenes. Arguments I can do, but when it comes to the physical stuff I struggle. While I believe these guys probably did get into punch ups occasionally, I can't really visualise them, I've only seen fights on tv and we know how realistic those are lol

[thousand-sunnies]

Fic writer ask: 1, 2 and 4

i’ve answered 1 and 2 here, so here’s 4 - a story idea you haven’t written yet. i have a lot of ideas but some of them are more vaguely defined than others, and some i would probably just not write, because they’re more ambitious than i’m currently willing to commit to (i’m so bad at multi-chapter stuff).

i’m super fascinated by those time travel AUs i’ve seen for this fandom a few times, i’d love to do one like that at some point (have a few disconnected snippets in my notes for it, even), except luffy is not the one doing anything, and it’s actually all of his nakama who remember everything that went down in the future and set about fixing/altering it.

something i’m more likely to realistically write is a kuina lives zosan fic, where kuina is just around and is competing with zoro for the title of the greatest swordsman. she crosses path with the straw hats a few times and proceeds to hate sanji on sight, because the moment he starts his whole “i won’t fight a lady” shtick, she sees red. “what do you MEAN you’re on a crew with this guy zoro. he thinks i’m weak. yes you do, you blond asshole, don’t interrupt me, why else won’t you fight me-”

i also have so many different ideas for ace lives fics because. well i love ace and fix-its and sibling relationships in media so he's like catnip for me. one in particular i have in mind is where shanks's crew yoinks him off the marineford battlefield and fixes him (listen it's one piece, a hole punched through your chest can't be THAT deadly). and then on an unrelated note shanks has to contact the revolutionary army for some reason, and oh look the chief of staff's been having a moment here-

[ask list]

[sassydefendorflower]

D and U for the fanfic writer meme? 👀👉👈

GASP!! Attention from my beloved Iris??? <3 <3 <3

D) What’s the most personal fanfic you’ve written?

That's a surprisingly hard question to answer. I think The Worst Place on Earth stems from a very personal place, simply because I felt a real connection to Melchior when I saw the musical and I was so enraged by all the hatred this fourteen year old idiot received for not having all the answers. And so I wrote 53k words about a clever know-it-all who grows up to be deeply disillusioned with the world. artificial destiny is another one of those stories - I am not the biggest fan of soulmate AUs because they tickle my agency quirks in a not fun way, but that's why I wrote a story about people in a predetermined world making they own choices, breaking with fate not for happiness but to be able to say that they've made a choice. And then... well, anyone who's ever gone through my work listings has probably noticed by now that I have a thing for abortion. It's not a story that is personal in the sense that I've personally had to have one, but it is personal in the way that... these are stories from women and people with a uterus that I know. My mom had two abortions, one directly before becoming pregnant with me. Before I embraced my ace-ness, I always said the reason I didn't want to have sex with guys was because even the 1% of getting pregnant while on the pill and using a condom was too high for me to risk. It all boils down to choice, once again, and I think there are a lot of women* out there who would have loved to live in a world in which they could have made a different choice.

As usual, you got a very in depth answer :D

U) Is there a pairing you would like to write, but haven’t tried yet.

I'm honestly not sure? Probably some crack pairing I haven't gotten down to write yet? My utterly hilarious idea for Scar/Garfiel is probably the closest I have to an answer. Because I have written Royai. I have written WinEd. I've made allusions to Ed/Ling, I've written JayDick and SlaDick and Lex/Dick. I probably should write more f/f, but I am literally working on a 7k WIP for Riza/Winry. So. Usually if I want to write something, I just write it.

But now that we're talking about it... I did never get down to write Tiger/Dick. That's a shame sdfghjkl Oh, and while I did write Spencer Reid/Everyone, I wish I had elaborated on Spencer/Sean. Or Spencer/Elizabeth. That would have been fun.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE QUESTIONS YOU ARE THE BEST! <3<3<3

[Fanfic Writer Ask Meme]

[talkingattumble]

oh no another post about something I like

okay here goes

So most people think that, in ace attorney, wright and edgeworth or shipped together due to like. Being two young men in the same franchise. But there’s a whole bunch of other stuff and I have made a handy dandy list of the main reasons, because I love making lists. Also for my non AA fan viewers after reading this list how gay would you say they are? Curious how this looks from an outside view. Okay list time

- well I’m going to be bringing out the big guns first and saying they they’re the only AA characters to have matching wedding rings as their merch (every other character got necklaces)

- edgeworth is noted by the creator to apparently not be interested in women, and also apparently finds phoenix attractive (in a romantic way)

- phoenix changed his entire career and centered his life around meeting edgeworth

- art for ace attorney was done by kumiko suekane, who not only used to write BL but also was very adamant on phoenix and edgeworth being the same/similar age

- that line. Yknow the one. In the first trial where edgeworth makes an appearance, he has a talk with phoenix anout how seeing phoenix again has given him “unnecessary…..feelings”. That’s the quote. It’s gayer in the game.

- edgeworth is noted by gumshoe to repeat phoenixs name for some reason??

- the uh. One game where phoenix calls edgeworth daddy. That was something.

- other gay lines, I csnt include them all but I highly recommend experiencing the games firsthand.

- the second game was purposefully written to make it seem gay. Not like actually, most queerbaiting, but hey.

- the voice actors for the English AA dub have tons of bloopers where they just mess around, and a bunch of that is just them ammong jokes about edgeworth and phoenix being gay

- apparently there’s something about a really gay looking piece of official art? I haven’t seen it nor do I know what it is but I do see it mentioned a lot so. Thought I’d put it down here because it could be significant, what with the artist being a former BL writer.

Alright that’s all the reasons I can think of for now. I also find it important to mention that many people also headcanon edgeworth as being aromantic and/or asexual, which is also an interpretation I like, but that’s another topic and would make a shorter list (in fact, I’ll list the main reasons right here: he’s said to “not want to marry a woman”, he isn’t swayed at all by the attractive women in court when even the judge is, and is the kind of guy who’s “married to his work”, as they say).

Anyways I’ll add a poll too for fun.

Wow that’s a lot of options, even though my posts aren’t really seen by anyone. Still had fun with it though. And that’s what matters.