#I haven’t seen her in years
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hey besties how do you deal with crippling imposter syndrome lol
like it’s not even really imposter syndrome bc I am unemployed and have been for almost half a year (I am so ashamed) and out of the hundreds of positions I have applied to, I have not heard back positively once…. not even an email or phone call about setting an interview, let alone an actual interview. I feel that it’s too late for me to have a corporate career, that being laid off was the last straw, that my silly little finance degree won’t cut it without more experience, that i’m no longer desirable even for entry level positions because technically i am 25 now and was at my old job for a little over a year but haven’t had work since september, that no company will ever want me and even if they do, i’ll never be smart enough or motivated enough to be able to keep a decent paying job because i’ll always feel inferior to everyone around me
#god it’s like#I don’t know what happened to me#I was so dedicated and felt at least a tiny bit smart back in high school and college#and then losing my job and the way that place destroyed my self esteem was the straw that broke the camels back#I just want to live with my sister in california but no one will hire me and it’s like#maybe my silly little mental illness is just who I am now#maybe I can’t escape the depression that has become me#maybe the motivated dedicated determined intelligent person I thought I used to be is truly gone forever#I haven’t seen her in years#I don’t know how to get her back#i’m so afraid
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I don’t want to spoil anything for the new season of Abbott but WHY is sh*ne d*wson’s ex in the first minute of this episode
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gouache falin
#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#falin touden#chimera falin#traditional art#illustration#gouache#i haven’t touched my paints in so long! i made this a challenge for myself to work with all these reds and get something cool out of it#ignore how messy my edges turned out - my tape roll is like 7 years old and barely sticks anymore#unsure if i should tag for nudity to be safe but also i’ve seen her shirtless more times on my tl this week then anything else ever so.
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I’m thinking about Gwen and Elyan tonight folks….. they were siblings, finally reunited after years, reconciled, and obviously cared for one another very much and there were hardly any on-screen interactions between them save for episodes where either one of them was in danger of some kind. Sigh.
I also know for a fact their exchanges would’ve been hilarious because it seemed that Elyan was the one person that knew how to annoy Gwen at light-speed LOL
yeselyanprincearthurofcamelot
#bbc merlin#merlin#I just really love siblings in media#and wish we got more of these two#in the ‘inbetween’ moments#I mean little moments like nudges and eye rolls#someone that brings out Gwen’s childish side the way only an annoying brother can#someone that brings out the goofier side behind elyan’s deadpan sarcasm#to know which one is the older one!!! (imo it’s Gwen)#to even see them standing together more often (and not just at their father’s grave 😭)#especially would’ve loved it while she was queen#Gwen’s trying to be professional and her idiot stoic brother is crossing his eyes at her across the room#to just tease her!!! and her tease him!!!!#I need elyan!! to give arthur!!!!!! a shovel talk!!!!!!!#and for Gwen to be like uh excuse me I haven’t seen you in years why do you think you can do this on my behalf#and Arthur is just like ‘you have my word no harm shall come to her’#Gwen is sooo unimpressed with both of them she just leaves and they’re both like…#her displeasure is literally a fourth presence in the room … bro do u think we fucked up#idk bro…#let’s ask merlin. yeah let’s#merlin just laughs at them and tells them good luck#ok this ran away from me anyway#bbc Gwen#bbc elyan#guinevere pendragon#sir elyan#merlin meta#I guess?#ren rambles
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The contrast of Kipperlilly hiding her plans from Oisin VS Riz trusting Adaine even more so than himself sometimes to take charge of things.
Of Ruben who voted against “High Five Heroes” with the sole intention of hurting Kipperlilly because he knew it was important to her VS Fig stepping back and asking Riz if he was ok with everyone flashing a picture of his dead father around him all the time like it was nothing.
Of Mary Ann who seems like she couldn’t care less about anyone else in the group on a personal level let alone Kipperlilly VS Gorgug and Riz having a joint 17th birthday party and growing closer than ever despite the rising stressors and tension because they love each other enough to keep that bond up regardless.
Btw. If you even care.
#we tragically haven’t seen enough of ivy for me to parallel her and fabian#I could say something about their respective too cool attitudes and snark#and how fabian is willing to make himself look like an absolute cringefail obsessive mess with how much he loves and respects riz#compared to how we’ve hardly seen Ivy and KLCK interact like. at all.#and imo Lucy-KLCK and Kristen-Riz isn’t a contrast. they’re parallels.#fantasy high junior year#fantasy high junior year spoilers
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atomic betty reporting for duty!
…. in the UPA art style ⚛️🛸
#atomic betty#betty barrett#atomic betty fanart#atomic betty art#teletoon#abckids#abc kids#art#my art#artists on tumblr#fanart#procreate#artwork#drawing#cartoon#cartoons#digital art#UPA#upa style#upa art style#united productions of america#used to watch this alllll the time on abckids when i was younger and i haven’t seen it in years but love the 1950s atompunk vibes#which i why i wanted to draw her in this style hehe
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“She’s tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me”😤😤😤
(Regency AU with Eloise and Sebastian inspired by my slow trek through Bridgerton these days & @bassicallymaestra ‘s AMAZING regency inspired art😮💨😇🙏)
#I just have a love of big regency dresses what can I say😔🙏#if you haven’t seen them yet this is a study of the GORGEOUS P&P illustrations from the 1890s by Charles Brock#they are all just so spectacular & I stare at them alllllllllll the time wishing I had an ounce of his talent🙏🙏🙏#so I do these studies to pretend even though I change some things😅😅 bc these studies is the best way to improve imo🙏#but I remembered halfway through why I rage quit trying to draw with my fountain pen a year ago😂😂😂#that thing is amazing for writing and I love it like a child#but drawing?! tbh I should have used my drawing ink pen but whatever#I woke up with a hankering to do some crosshatching (which I hate) in an attempt to get over myself#also!!!!!! when Mr Darcy says something like that it’s no wonder Elizabeth jumps at the bit to believe every awful thing she hears about him#it’s like Mr wickham’s dumb stories that nobody else in their right mind would believe#are speaking right to her soul. like OF COURSE that asshole from the assembly would do all of those things😤😤#he called me ugly so OF COURSE he would deny mr wickham his living😤😤#(I don’t blame her I would do the same🤝🤝)#ALSO why tf did he even say that when he’s clearly smitten from the beginning#I’m sure if he knew that she heard him he would simply perish from mortification#well thst is my p&p - inking horror - inspiration rant of the day🙏🙏#(I read p&p at least once a year & it is the only fanfic I really read😅😅😅)#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hphl#sebastian sallow#hogwarts legacy mc#hogwarts legacy oc#eloise#eloise babbit#regency au
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One day I’ll go through med school and then I’ll go through residency and then I’ll go through a fellowship and then I’ll be the most crybaby neurosurgeon you could think of. Bursting into tears if I so much as graze ur hypothalamus with my forceps
#Yesterday I shadowed a neurologist for the first time and basically we got done seeing a patient who’s also a heart surgeon#And I turned to the doctor and was like Ok what do we do#The thing is this patient has dementia and we don’t really have a cure for that yet so the study he’s enrolling in is largely observational#Still I expected her to follow up on him in much more frequent increments#Instead this woman goes “we’ll see him in 6-9 months but… not even sure if he’ll be here by then sooo”#Basically implying he might be dead in a year#AND I WAS LIKE. Blown away by how blase she was#And ever since then a fiendish sort of melancholy followed me everywhere I went .#Bc I haven’t stopped thinking about the heart surgeon#I don’t get how she can stop thinking about him#I don’t understand people who can stop thinking about something like that#I know neurologists like her have seen patients come and go many a time but I was disturbed#So I made a pact w myself never to lose my humanity. Half of why I’m so into medicine is bc of its humane aspects#And in 10 years I’ll look back at this and hopefully still be just as annoyingly sensitive as I am today#I think I’m just overall disillusioned w how little humanity some people seem to have but that doesn’t mean I have to be that way too#p
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just burst into tears when tidying up because i was just overthinking about everything in my life rn and felt so overwhelmed ♡ lol
#my bestie is here in about half an hour i haven’t seen her in person in 2 years#i feel bad she’s coming now like we planned this months ago#but im so thankful she is coming now too like oh my goddd a hug from her would help fix me for a moment
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haven’t posted in a minute so update:
- sleepy
- more medical stuff happening
- school stuff happening
- being brave
- learning harp
#harp ily harp#took seven and a half pages of brain anatomy notes by hand yesterday but got to see an old friend I haven’t seen in years#and meet and hold her baby!#and there was money on the vending machine after class so I got free chips before work#penni yeets her thoughts into the void#had to make phone calls and send emails and answer questions
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truth be known I was on Pinterest browsing Tudor-era art and this popped up. Oh my days! look at these!
Full credit goes to: ‘kirstenmariechr’ on Pinterest
(She has a few different versions so I thought I’d post a couple together)
The talent! The vision! It’s really wonderful
#I’d struggle beyond belief to do this. trying to recreate a face without having seen all of it?#v impressive#and you know#it's a weird thought. for all those people who had their portrait on an angle#no one has seen their full face in centuries.#even tho we sort of can tell what they looked like#thomas cromwell#also#I did message her to ask if she’d be ok w me reposting these. but she hasn’t been active in like 6 years#and I haven’t heard anything back in nearly a year#which is a shame because her stuff is very good#hope she’s doing well :)#tudor history#the Tudors#Wolf hall
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💭💭💭
I’m ESPN starting a rumor… 👀 (Boyfriend CC is a LEWK!)
#i kid i kid#I haven’t “seen” a [REDACTED] this enamored with a fellow celeb person since Brie Larson was serenading her on the internet#as she should#CC x Gaylor Swift#Caitlin Clark x Gaylor Swift#boyfriend cc#boyfriend caitlin#the twitter jokes are amazing#someone noticed they have a 13 year age gap so theres that#I haven't seen Taylor this relaxed since Eras Tour hanging out with the LGBTQ Opening Acts of Gay so can we get her more gay friends?#accidental braylor#the celesbians are restless#indirect braylor mention#gaylor swift 2019#Lover era x Braylor
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idk who needs to hear this but you can hate taylor swift without siding with the ai porn guys. disliking her isn’t an act of misogyny but ai porn of her is an act of misogyny despite her whiteness and wealth and power. like this is fr my problem with most ppl who hate her - they just abandon all of their principles when it comes to her. like we do realise she can suck and also not deserve nonconsenual porn made of her right?
#srry for ppl who haven’t seen this discourse hahaha#i’m just so ???? about it#reminds me of when everyone was taking kanye’s side years ago with that phone call thing#because they hate taylor swift#and it’s like - ok think what u want about the phone call and her reaction#but u have to agree that him making a fake nude plastic replica of her naked body#to have sleeping in bed with him in his music video#was actually disgusting#like she was 25 i think#and everyone was like ‘white woman victimhood tears wealthy woman boo’ etc#and it’s like ok ok but the music video was fucked up#we think the music video was massively wrong right#guys? guys??!!!#right?!!!!#anywho#just needed a rant#this shit affects more than just celebrities#and i don’t think ‘she deserves it’ should ever be an argument#no matter what you think of the victim#when it comes to this stuff#dl
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I had an idea for a X-men AU where Chloe was an mutant which caused her a LOT of stress at home. I never decided what kind of mutation she had, only that I wanted it to be a really easy one to see but also I liked the idea of her being able to pass as human if she really wanted too so I kinda pictured her as being able to shift into something like Beast (I also liked that idea because he is blue)
Anyway the bulk of the idea was that Chloe and Max are dating while Max is at college. Max discovers she’s also a mutant but since her powers aren’t physical her parents pressure her into keeping it hidden (for her safety) Chloe slowly starts fall into pro mutant groups (due to all the anti mutant hate plus how David and Joyce keep trying to pressure her into ‘being normal) and eventually ends up joining some kind of recruiting off shoot of the Brotherhood of Mutants.
After a little bit of this on a normal ‘mission’ Chloe pulls up with Max because suddenly Max demanded it. It totally freaks Chloe out because Max knows every single person there, including the higher ups that Chloe’s never seen before.
And whoops, that’s actually Future Max who is currently fucking around with time.
#life is strange#chloe price#max caulfield#I just like the idea of Max being kinda confused when Chloe tells her that Max told her to take her somewhere and take a picture#and then when Max does she walks up to Chloe’s Boss’s bosses bosss#and is like ‘hey Eric— wait sorry I know you hate that when people are around — magneto this mission is going to fail.’#‘I’m trying something new so please do this and this and we’ll see how it goes?’#Magneto: ‘what’#max: sorry sorry I forget when we meet— here is the password you have for timetravel#Max: alright- we’re cool?#Max: wait Chloe you look so cute. I haven’t seen you look like that in years! adorable!#And then she resets to regular Max like nothing happened
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Sometimes your life feels like it’s over and then you’re 6 years older in the blink of an eye.
#sentimental story time in the tags#this is about an ex friendship that changed me as a person forever and my current best friend who has also changed me#I still remember the time my ex friend and I held hands but they got uncomfortable and dropped mine pretty quickly#which ofc is perfectly fine yknow#but I really wanted to keep holding their hand because I was and am horrifically touchstarved#we never held hands again and cut ties as sophomores in high school#but in junior year I met my current best friend and she was so comfortable with touch#I wrote in a journal somewhere that her hands are always cold and I want to keep them warm#she visited my home after graduation this one time and while we were hanging out on my couch she just grabbed my hand and started messing#with my fingers and running her thumb over my nails#it was so casual and went on for a while#I don’t even know if she realised she was messing with my hand#but it was really nice#haven’t seen her in months because of school but I can’t wait to see her again after this semester is over#moose posting#moose rambles
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I know part of being an adult is people coming and going in your life as you age, people have different priorities and values, etc etc, but one of my closest friends from my late teens and early 20s just completely won’t respond to me and it feels kind of bad, I wish she’d at least say like I’m not in a place to respond or anything. I’m in a group chat with her and said something for the first time in like years, about how she’s splitting with her husband (and they were dating since middleschool and me and all my friends in that gc is 30) and said she hinted it with our other friend in the gc when she saw him the other day. Idk I just feel weirdly left out, I’ve sent her things a handful of times but she always leaves me on read (except once when I was asking about how her mom is doing). But also like why respond to the gc but leave me on read, it just feels… weird… idk like if you don’t want me in your life just unfriend me i guess
#I can only post about this here#I think I just feel a specific kind of way bc at one point we were extremely inseparable and now it feels like we’re strangers#I don’t even think I did anything bc I haven’t even seen her in like what 4 years#but it still kinda stings 🙃 idk maybe im just being sensitive over nothing#but we were like the type of friends that would tell each other EVERYTHING#when I got into my bike accident she was the first person I called and she got supplies and patched me up#I get that life gets hectic and busy and it’s hard maintaining friendships but idk I still wish she’d say like…anything to me#especially when she’s in our group chat…#and saying things there
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