#I haven’t had ocs in so long I’m working my way back up to it I keep forgetting u can do whatever u want all the time forever

[kayvsworld]

just realized I could give an oc a cool prosthetic arm if I wanted to…..the possibilities of art are endless…

[chahnniesroom]

to have and to hold

pairing: bang chan x female reader

summary: you don't think there's anything chan can do to make you love him more. chan continues to prove you wrong.

word count: 1.4k

warnings: mentions of pregnancy, lots of fluff!!

a/n: sorry it has been so long since i posted! i have been wanting to write this since that ep of return of superman where chan and felix took care of rowoon, it was so so sweet. also i'm so sorry but i did not edit this at all

till death do us part collection | read it on ao3 | masterlist

“Do you think you’d ever want to have kids?” 

Your question breaks through the quiet dialogue of the show that you and Chan are watching. Behind you, you feel Chan freeze before he forces himself to relax and continue fiddling with your fingers.

Chan hesitates for a moment longer before answering.

“I don’t know,” he says, slowly and carefully. “I think that I’d want to eventually, but right now? Being an idol- It would be difficult. I mean, for anyone it’s hard, but especially with this career…”

“Do you like children?” you ask, curious even though you can anticipate his answer.

“Yes.” This time he replies immediately, although his voice is still cautious. He releases your hands from his hold and gently nudges your shoulders so that you twist to look at him. “Y/n- Do- Are you-”

“What?” you stare at him, not sure why he suddenly seems so worried.

“Are you pregnant?” he asks gently. “It’s fine if you are! We can totally work things out and I will 100% support you the whole time-”

“Oh!” You smack yourself in the forehead. “No! Definitely not! I was just thinking.” 

“Ah.” Chan slumps against the back of the couch, this time he’s actually relaxed. “Just thinking or- what brought this on?”

“I’m sorry,” you say hurriedly. “That must have been out of nowhere for you. No, it’s because my older sister’s wedding anniversary is coming up, the first one since she’s had a kid, so I wanted to let her go out without having to worry. I was wondering if you wanted to help me babysit?”

“I see,” Chan says, sounding relieved. “Your sister. Yes, I haven’t met Doyun yet, right? I’d love to help you take care of him.”

—

Your sister is delighted that you’ve offered to take Doyun for an evening and you quickly coordinate with Chan what day would work best. It’s not possible to babysit on your sister’s actual anniversary due to Chan’s schedules, but your availabilities line up on a Friday night the weekend after.

Chan is nervous leading up to it, which you find absolutely adorable. When you look over his shoulder one night, curious what he’s focusing so intently on, you find him scrolling through articles on interacting with babies as well as tips on baby-proofing an apartment.

Before your sister arrives, you work with Chan for a few hours transforming the open area of your apartment, placing pillows and draping blankets over sharp corners and making sure to keep any small objects out of reach. 

When the doorbell rings, Chan panics, popping his head out of the kitchen from where he’s been trying to figure out a way to prevent Doyun from being able to open the cabinets.

“We're not ready!” he says, eyes wide.

“What do you want to do, keep them waiting outside until you finish?” you joke, then pause when it looks like Chan is actually considering it. “Don't worry, I'll go let my sister in and you keep working on that. We'll be watching Doyunnie the whole time, so even if you can't work that out, it's fine.”

Your sister doesn't stay for very long. She hands Doyun off to you and assures both you and Chan that your place looks safe for a baby. After going through everything that is packed in the massive diaper bag that she’s leaving with you, she heads back home to get ready for her dinner.

Doyun has a short attention span and cycles between playing with a stuffed animal, a ball, some plastic fruits and vegetables, and toy trains within the first hour. He is so adorable that you and Chan don't mind how much energy is required to keep him occupied. Luckily he's a fairly easygoing baby and hasn't fussed at all, although it did take a while for him to warm up to the two of you.

He's comfortable now, especially since Chan has started to spin the two of them around, hands firmly gripping Doyun’s torso. Doyun absolutely loves it, shrieking in excitement with his eyes crinkling. Even after a few minutes of the same thing, he never grows bored, just as thrilled everytime that Chan lifts him above his head. Although Doyun isn’t very heavy yet, after 15 minutes there’s sweat visible on Chan’s forehead and he’s starting to get out of breath.

“How about we take a bit of a break? Do you want to read?” Chan sits Doyun down against some pillows and rummages through the bag that your sister packed, finding some of the books that she included.

Chan hands the books over and although Doyun accepts both of them, he throws them aside and instead clumsily reaches up towards Chan, clearly asking to be picked up again. Chan pretends to groan and complain as he lifts Doyun back up.

“Aww,” you coo. “He really likes you.”

“And I really like him,” Chan says, spinning Doyun around. “I just wish I hadn’t gone to the gym earlier today, I didn’t realise what a workout this would be!”

Eventually Doyun grows tired, no longer begging Chan to continue. This time when Chan settles him on the ground, he just looks around curiously before crawling up to Chan and grabbing at his curls.

“He’s so small,” Chan marvels. “Look at his little fingers!”

He reaches out towards Doyun, who immediately wraps his hand around Chan’s index finger and pulls it towards his mouth.

It's comical to see the difference in size between their hands and Chan visibly melts, allowing Doyun to gum at his fingers, quickly covering them in a sheen of saliva.

“Are you hungry Doyunnie?” Chan asks. “It’s almost time for dinner, let’s see what your auntie prepared for us.”

By the time Doyun is set up in a high chair with a bib on, you’ve finished cooking. Dinner for Doyun is simple, consisting of steamed vegetables, tofu, rolled omelette, rice, and a bit of fruit. You’ve also used the same ingredients plus a few additions to make kimchi stew for you and Chan.

Chan is distracted the whole meal, prioritising feeding Doyun and wiping his face clean in between bites over eating his own food. It's a futile effort since Doyun seems more interested in smearing the food around rather than getting it into his mouth.

When you're finished with your food, you switch spots with Chan and coax Doyun into eating the last few bites he has left while Chan scarfs down his own meal. 

After dinner, you carry Doyun into the bathroom and start filling the bathtub with a shallow layer of warm water. He watches with wide eyes as you add bubble bath that changes the colour of the water to a deep blue and creates a thick cover of bubbles. After washing the dishes and wiping down the kitchen, Chan joins the both of you just as you’re rinsing suds out of Doyun’s hair.

Cleaned and dressed in a fuzzy onesie with tiny bear ears poking out from the hood, Doyun struggles to stay awake for the rest of the evening. It’s obvious that he’s tired, he’s starting to get cranky and his blinks get longer and longer, but he stubbornly continues to play. After his third time nodding off while slotting plastic shapes into a cube, Chan picks him up and walks him around the room, rocking him slightly while humming a melody that you can’t recognize.

When your sister comes to pick up Doyun, he's sprawled out on Chan’s chest, deeply asleep. A line of drool drops from his open mouth to form a wet spot on Chan’s shirt, but Chan doesn’t seem to mind, staring at Doyun with stars in his eyes.

That night, right when you're about to fall asleep, Chan speaks up. His arms are wrapped around you and you can feel his breath against the back of your neck. 

“I think,” he says quietly. “I think I want kids. Not now, I still have the same concerns as before, but in the future? I want it.”

“You did so well with Doyunnie, it looked so natural,” you agree. “I think you would be a great dad.”

“Only if you’re there by my side,” he corrects.

“There’s nowhere I’d rather be.”

till death do us part collection | read it on ao3 | masterlist

[simpforpeterp]

stanford pines x reader

Look Me in the Eye

summary: based on a daisy jones and the six scene! a one shot in which ford comes home from a crazy night with bill, pushing you to your limit

warnings: a slap from reader to ford. gender neutral reader! this one shot came from a chapter of my actual oc story about ford but i made it gender neutral x reader because i’m so proud of this scene.

word count: 4.4k

With Fiddleford back home for Thanksgiving and the portal on a brief hiatus, you’d think Ford would take that chance to be home. But he doesn’t; he keeps working. So, you decide to try and get some work done too. Writing hasn’t come easy, though.

Ford is God knows where, and you’re sitting at your piano, staring at the keys, waiting for the words to come. At this point, a part of you has accepted that the Ford you married is somewhere deep in the back of his brain. He said he would do better, but he hasn’t. You think back to your cousin and how you swore that you wouldn’t let yourself end up like that—in a small town with a deadbeat partner and a baby.

The only thing you don’t have out of those things is a baby, which you don’t want. When you were younger, you always saw yourself having kids. But when you marry a human, it’s a little strange to think about. It’s unknown if you could even have kids together. There were legends back home about two humans in the demon realm, and one of them married and had a baby with a witch.

You do a mini birth control spell that you’re not even sure works. Well, it’s worked so far—you haven’t gotten pregnant yet. Ford wouldn’t give a damn about a baby anyway, so why even put it at the forefront of your mind? And you’re fine without kids. You’re not one of those people who craved kids their whole life and dreamed about what life with children would look like.

You always assumed it would happen if it happened. And with Ford, it’s not happening. These past few months have proven that more than ever because he’s rarely home. The way most couples go out to dinner at the end of a long day, you and Ford go out to breakfast two or three times a week. But he’s usually trying to hide the fact that he’s rushing to get back to work.

His attempt at spending time with you is noted but not necessarily accepted.

The door creaks open, and you hear the unsteady shuffle of Ford’s footsteps before you see him. He stumbles into the room, shirtless, his hair a tangled mess, eyes glassy, and reeking of alcohol. He stands there in the doorway, looking at you with a mix of shame and regret, unable to meet your gaze for long. He tries to speak, but the words fumble out, barely coherent.

“Ford,” you breathe, your voice wavering between anger and concern. You step closer to him, looking at how droopy and tired his eyes look. “What happened to you?”

“I… I know Bill took it too far this time, but it doesn’t… it doesn’t mean anything. It’s not—” He’s almost nonverbal, his normally sharp mind dulled by the alcohol and Bill’s lingering influence. When you see new tattoos on his body, you lose it.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Ford? What the fuck is wrong with you?” You demand. He doesn’t even look at you; his mind is completely somewhere else. It’s as if Ford isn’t even in there right now.

Before he can respond, you close the distance between you, and your hand connects with his face in a swift, stinging slap. Given that you’re smaller than him, it doesn’t do much other than make him look at you. Ford looks at you, stunned, his hand moving slowly to his cheek where your slap left its mark and a slight stinging pain.

“You come home like this,” you say, your voice breaking as tears well up in your eyes. “After everything, you think you can just brush it off? You think you can say it doesn’t mean anything and that’s supposed to be enough?”

Ford’s lips tremble, his eyes filled with a mix of guilt and sorrow. He wants to tell you how sorry he is, how much he hates himself for what he’s become, but the words won’t come.

“What happened to the man I married?” you continue, your voice softer now, though no less pained. “Where’s the Ford who would move mountains for me, who promised we’d get through anything together? Because this…” You gesture at him, tears finally spilling over. “This isn’t the man I fell in love with.”

Ford’s eyes fill with tears, his heart breaking at the sight of your pain. He knows he’s the cause, knows that he’s pushed you to the edge, but he still can’t let go of the work, of the promises he made to Bill. But none of that matters now—not when he sees how much he’s hurting you.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispers, his voice raw with emotion. “I… it’s Bill, but I—”

“So, who do I blame?” you ask, and he doesn’t have an answer. “Who the fuck do you think you are, acting like this? You come home from doing God knows what, God knows where, and have the nerve to try to defend Bill? After all of this bullshit, you still think he’s someone worth putting up with?”

You look at him, your anger slowly giving way to a deep, aching sadness. You still love him—God, you love him so much—but this version of Ford, the one who’s been consumed by his work and Bill’s influence, is breaking your heart piece by piece.

“I love you, Ford. I love you so much it hurts, but I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep watching you destroy yourself… and us.” Your voice trembles as you take a step back, the space between you feeling like a chasm.

“Please… I don’t want to lose you. I love you more than anything. I’m sorry.” Ford reaches out to you, desperation in his eyes.

You hesitate, looking at the man you married, the one you’ve been trying to hold on to, but you can’t shake the fear that he’s already slipping away.

“You’re losing me, Stanford.” You shake your head as another tear falls, and it’s like everything comes bubbling over all at once.

Ford reaches out, desperate to close the distance between you, but you step back, gently pushing him away. Your hands, though soft against his chest, carry the weight of all the anger and hurt you’ve been holding in.

“Go take a shower, Ford,” you say, your voice trembling but firm. “I’m not going to talk to you again until you do.”

Your words hit him like a cold splash of reality. He can see the resolve in your eyes, the line you’re drawing in the sand. You’re not just angry; you’re done—at least for now. Ford hesitates, wanting to say something, anything to make this right, but the look on your face tells him that words won’t fix this. Not this time.

He nods, defeated, and turns away, heading for the bathroom. The sound of the door closing behind him feels like a finality he’s not ready to face. He lingers for a moment, his hand resting on the doorknob, hoping you’ll say something—anything—to stop him from leaving the room. But you don’t.

As he steps into the shower, the hot water cascades over him, washing away the grime and sweat from the night, but it does nothing to ease the weight on his chest. He leans against the tiled wall, water mingling with the tears he’s been holding back.

His heart breaks. He knew after every other little crack in your relationship that this was coming. But nothing could’ve made him ready for the day you finally snapped. And he knows you don’t believe he loves you as much as he does, which kills him.

Meanwhile, you watch him disappear into the bathroom, your heart heavy with the love you still feel for him, mixed with the deep-seated pain of watching him spiral. You turn on your heel, walking away, needing the space to gather yourself before you can even think about facing him again. As you move through your home, every room feels colder and emptier, and you can’t shake the fear that the warmth you once shared might be slipping away for good.

After all that, you feel like you need a shower too. You can’t believe you said all that and exploded. It felt like it was a long time coming and this was the final straw. His coming home like that, completely shameless, made you feel an anger you hadn’t felt before. Anger because you always said you could do better than your family, but he’s making you feel the same as they did.

When Ford finally emerges, clean but still burdened, he heads into your bedroom. He notices you sitting there with red, puffy eyes. He doesn’t know what to do; he doesn’t know how to fix this.

“I’m sorry for how I reacted, but you have to know how pissed I am,” you speak first as he takes a seat beside you on the bed. “If you don’t love me anymore, just say it. You’re never around anymore, and when you are, it seems like you just want to get away from me. It’s fine if you don’t love me anymore; I’d be heartbroken, but I’d be okay. I’d be even more heartbroken if you kept me hanging around here when it’s just me who still loves you.”

Ford feels his throat tighten at your words, guilt and sorrow gnawing at him. He opens his mouth to respond, but the words catch in his throat. How can he make you understand that his distance has never been about a lack of love? How can he convince you that despite everything, you’re still the most important part of his life?

“I always promised myself I wouldn’t be this,” you start. “Sitting around as if I need someone. I never wanted to be the person stuck at home, trotting around at the genius’ heels. Especially not with someone who doesn’t—who might not—” your voice trembles, and he quickly jumps in.

“I do love you,” he finally whispers, his voice hoarse. “I love you more than anything. I’m just… lost. This work, everything I’ve been doing—it’s consumed me, and I know I’ve let it come between us. But please, don’t ever think that I don’t love you. That’s the furthest thing from the truth.”

You listen, your eyes searching his face for sincerity. You can see the regret there, the deep sadness in his eyes, but you’ve heard apologies before. You need more than just words. Ford reaches out, taking your hand in his, holding it like a lifeline. He can feel your fingers trembling, and it breaks his heart all over again.

“I know I’ve been terrible,” he admits, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’ve been so wrapped up in my work that I’ve neglected you, neglected us. But I don’t want to lose you. I can’t lose you. I’ll do better—I promise I’ll do better.”

“How many times have we had this conversation, Ford? I—I’m getting tired,” you breathe out.

“I mean, what do you want me to tell you here? Do you want me to say I’m never gonna work with Bill again? Because I can’t! I need him.” Ford tries.

“No, you don’t!” you slightly raise your voice before sighing.

“Do you want me to just stop working so you can be making money and supporting me while I do nothing? I mean, fuck, you’re not exactly writing or anything right now,” he breathes out.

“I’m trying,” you say firmly.

“I can’t… I can’t lose so you’re comfortable! I can’t lose because you can’t win,” he raises his voice.

And then it’s quiet for a moment. Neither of you speaks, but Ford instantly regrets it.

“I don’t know how much longer I can do this,” your voice breaks.

He’s failed you in so many ways, and he’s terrified that it might be too late to fix things. But as he looks into your eyes, he knows he has to try.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I’ll do whatever it takes to make this right,” he says, his voice trembling with conviction. “Just… please don’t give up on me. Don’t give up on us.”

“I don’t believe you,” you cry, and he slightly stiffens. “I mean, did you hear what you just said? I need to go for a drive or something.”

“Wait, please,” he starts, but you’re already standing up and trying to leave. “I’m so in love with you it feels like I can’t breathe when I’m not with you!”

As you try to walk out as quickly as possible to hide your tears, he sees your hand come up to wipe them.

“Please don’t go,” he begs, finally catching up with you and placing his hands on your shoulders. “Please, just hear me out.”

“I’ll hear you out later, I just need a minute. I don’t want to give up on this, but I just… I need a coffee or something,” you look him in the eyes, and everything in him softens.

“Okay,” he breathes out. “Just… please, come home to me.”

“I will. I’ll be back soon,” you nod.

Ford watches helplessly as you leave. The door clicks shut behind you, leaving a deafening silence in its wake. His heart aches with a pain he can’t describe, but he doesn’t have the time to wallow. The moment you’re gone, something snaps inside him, and he storms back into his office.

Once inside, Ford slams the door shut and collapses into his chair, his body shaking as the tears finally break free. He buries his face in his hands, the sobs wracking his body with a force he hasn’t felt in years. All of the pain, the regret, the self-loathing—it all comes pouring out in a way that feels like it could tear him apart.

But before he can even begin to regain control, he senses a familiar presence. The air in the room changes, becoming thick with an ominous energy that Ford knows all too well.

"Why the long face, Sixer?" Bill’s voice cuts through the silence. "Having a little lover’s quarrel?"

Ford lifts his head, his bloodshot eyes meeting Bill’s glowing form. Rage surges through him, raw and untamed.

"This is your fault," he yells. "You’ve ruined everything!"

"Me? Ruin? Oh, come on, Fordsy. You know this was bound to happen. You’re the one who’s been pushing them away, not me." Bill laughs, the sound echoing eerily off the walls. Ford’s fists clench at his sides, the anger building to a boiling point.

"I wouldn’t be in this mess if it weren’t for you!" he shouts, his voice cracking with the weight of his emotions. "My marriage is falling apart because of you!"

"Oh, don’t be so dramatic," Bill taunts, his voice dripping with condescension. "You think I made you neglect them? Do you think I made you ignore all those signs? That’s all you, pal. I see everything, and they’ve been telling you how they feel like every day. It’s not my fault you don’t care enough to do anything about it."

"I- why did you have to go so crazy in my body? I respect you, and I’m still finishing the portal, but what the hell? At the end of the day, I wouldn’t be in this situation if it weren’t for you." Ford glares.

"You think finishing that portal is going to fix your problems? Oh, Fordsy, you’re in way over your head. Stop blaming me. It’s not my fault you want to see me more than your own spouse." Bill laughs.

"Maybe you can’t process emotions like this, but they’re the love of my life. Before them, I hadn’t really dated anyone, and I wasn’t even sleeping around or anything; I was a loser. The only reason I ended up with someone as incredible as them without ruining it, like usual, is because I saw them as an anomaly at first. I didn’t think I was flirting or anything. I don’t know what I’d do if they left me. I wouldn’t even know what love is without them. You need to think about what your actions can mean for other people, Bill." Ford turns back to Bill.

"Clearly, you’re the one that needs to think about your actions. Isn’t it crazy that if you neglect someone’s feelings, they won’t want to be with you anymore? Even I can understand that!" Bill laughs, and Ford just stands up.

Ford sits there for a moment before he decides he can’t take it anymore. He stands up and heads to the music room. Bill yells things as he walks away, but Ford doesn’t hear it. He heads straight for a notebook full of songs they’ve written. His heart is racing as he opens it and sees so many that he hasn’t even heard yet.

In fact, this is a new notebook almost full of songs he hasn’t heard except for a few at the beginning. Have they not tried to show him, or has he not tried to listen? He reads the sad lyrics of almost every song, lyrics about feeling lonely when with someone you love and waking up alone. Songs about how they try to convince themselves that they’re a part of his life but not feeling like it. When did he start pulling away from them?

You sit in your car with a to-go cup of coffee, unsure if you should drive home yet or simmer for a little while longer. Your fingers tap on the warm cup as you try to think clearly. Your love for Ford is swarming every inch of your mind. But you know you shouldn’t accept what you don’t deserve, and you know you haven’t done anything to deserve this.

The version of you before Ford would’ve threatened a divorce already to try and scare him. You don’t want to do that now, but you want him to realize that you can’t keep living like this. You can’t keep following in his stride instead of walking beside him. You’ve won ten Grammys; it’s not as if you’re unaccomplished with no other options but to stay with him.

But you want to stay with him. Ford is so loving and warm. No one has ever loved you the way he has. Hell, no one other than Ford has seen you as more than a one-night thing. And you love him so much. You can’t help but wonder if maybe there’s something here for you to try to understand that you don’t already.

You look at the ring on your finger—his ring. And you don’t feel like other people have described, like it’s a handcuff or a jail cell that’s keeping you locked to him. You love being married to Ford. Saying you don’t and never did would be a complete lie. You just don’t love being mostly ignored by the man you love.

For someone so smart, he can be such an idiot sometimes. Letting some kind of entity possess his body whenever it pleases is a new low. Is that my problem? Bill? you think. It’s not right to you that his weakest self gets to decide how your life is going to turn out; you get to decide that. And what you want is a life—a beautiful marriage, a home—with him. With the man you know he truly is. And you’re going to get it, hell or high water.

You take a deep breath, your eyes still fixed on the ring as you turn it around your finger. The thought of a future without Ford makes your heart ache, but you know you deserve better, and you know Ford is capable of giving it to you—if he just realized how much you mean to him, how much you mean to each other.

You sip your coffee, the warmth grounding you, giving you the clarity you need. You know you have limits. If Ford can’t see the toll his actions are taking on your marriage, then you have to make him see it. You have to stand up for yourself, for what you want, and for the life you could have together.

You start the car, the decision made. You’re going to drive home and talk to him—not in anger or frustration, but with the love that’s still there, burning so fiercely in your heart. You’re going to make him understand what’s at stake—not just your marriage, but everything you’ve built together.

As you drive, the road blurs slightly through your unshed tears, but you blink them away. You can’t afford to lose focus now. Ford needs to know that you’re serious, that this isn’t just another fight that will blow over. This is your future, and you won’t let it slip away without a fight.

When you pull up to the house, your resolve only strengthens. You take a deep breath before stepping out of the car, the ring on your finger feeling like a lifeline rather than a chain. You walk into the house, finding Ford sitting on the couch, his head in his hands. He looks up as you enter, and the relief in his eyes is almost overwhelming.

“Ford…” you begin, your voice thick with emotion, but you hold up a hand to stop him as he tries to respond.

“Ford, I need you to listen to me,” you say firmly, though your voice trembles slightly. You sit down beside him, taking his hands in yours. “I love you more than anything in this world, but I can’t keep living like this. I can’t keep being the one who’s always trying to catch up to you, to your work, to everything else that seems to matter more than me or my feelings.”

His eyes widen in panic, and he starts to speak, but you squeeze his hands, stopping him again.

“No, Ford. Let me finish,” you continue, your voice soft but steady. “You’ve always been so loving, so warm, and I’ve never felt like this with anyone else. But you know me, and you know I’m not the type to ignore the fact that I’ve felt more like an afterthought lately. And it hurts. It really, really hurts.”

“Please, I—” Ford’s face crumples, and you can see the guilt and regret swirling in his eyes.

“I don’t want to threaten you with divorce or give you an ultimatum,” you say, your voice breaking slightly. “But I need you to understand that if we’re going to make this work, you need to start seeing me as your partner again, not just someone who’s here to support you while you chase after your dreams. We need to be in this together, walking side by side—not with me always trying to catch up.”

Ford looks at you with such intensity that it nearly takes your breath away. His eyes are red and puffy too, his fingers nervously moving his ring in circles on his finger.

“You’re right,” he finally says, his voice hoarse. “I’ve been an idiot, and I’ve taken you for granted. But I swear to you, I’ll do whatever it takes to fix this. You mean everything to me, and I can’t imagine my life without you in it. You make me want to be better, not just for you, but for us. And I’m going to prove it to you. I don’t want to lose this with you, and I’m so sorry that I’ve hurt you. Just… please, don’t go. I’m still yours. My heart is always gonna be yours. You are the one I want.”

“I just want you to see me, Ford. Really see me. I’m not asking you to give up your work, but I need you to find a balance, to make room for us in your life. Because I can’t keep doing this if things don’t change.” You nod, tears spilling over your lashes as you squeeze his hands.

“I see you. I promise I see you,” Ford whispers, pulling you into his arms. “And I’m going to show you just how much you mean to me. I won’t let you down again. And those aren’t just empty promises—I mean every word I say to you.”

As you hold each other, the tension begins to melt away, replaced by the hope that you can find your way back to each other. It won’t be easy, but you know it’s possible. And for the first time in a long time, you believe that you can make it work. Ford pulls back slightly, his gaze locking with yours.

“I’ve never loved anyone like I love you,” he says, his voice thick with emotion. “I didn’t date anyone in high school or college—I was too focused on my work. Hell, I’ve only slept with four people in my life, and you’re the only one who wanted me after that. You’re the only one who stayed the morning after and kissed me and smiled at me. You looked so perfect then, and it would’ve been impossible not to want more with you. You’re the reason I want to be better, the reason I want to wake up every morning. And I don’t know how I got so lucky to have you in my life, but I’m not going to take it for granted anymore. I promise you that.”

“Okay.” You nod for a moment before bringing his lips to yours.

He sinks into you, and the next thing he knows, he’s on top of you on the couch. Both of your hands are desperate as your lips talk. And he thinks, while this is happening, that you are worth everything to him. He didn’t think any of this would be happening when he first got out of high school and his life was in front of him. He never thought he would even have a spouse, let alone be kissing you with his body between your legs in your home on a quiet November night.

And the further things go, he realizes that he hasn’t touched you like this since your most recent talk about him neglecting you before tonight. Seasons changed, months passed, and he was too wrapped up in whatever he was doing to just exist with you, which is what he loved doing when you first met.

[blackynsupremacy]

redk!clark shenanigans part 3

part 1

part 2

taglist: @afrogirl3005 @rosiestalez @stereotypicalbarbie

synopsis : redk!clark is the type of dude when you drop him first (because you’re honestly just fed up!) and you’re finally in a good place in life, he would text you out of the blue to reel you back in. he doesn’t really want you to walk out of his life, so you’re not getting rid of him that easily, girl.

if you’ve ever seen those memes with future texting, it’s those type of vibes.

pairings: redk!clark x fem! y/n (i’m imagining her as meagan good again. reader can do a self insert or use another fc. the choice is yours and i want to be inclusive!)

fandom: smallville (2001-2011)

also featuring: chloe sullivan and kate ross (pete’s twin sister/oc fc: tatyana ali)

warnings: long asf, swearing, redk!clark, toxic behavior, a little bit of angst, some suggestiveness,manipulation, implied hook up, y/n regretting her decisions, y/n being weak in the knees again!

congratulations to y/n for finally dropping redk!clark kent, smallville’s local gentleman turned badass and player. anywho, her skin is glowing, her grades are showing tremendous improvement, and life has just been better in general. she’s smiling a lot more!

she’s not going through this alone though. fortunately, she has chloe sullivan and kate ross to help y/n properly get over him. they haven’t seen him around in a few days. if they did happen to run into clark at school or around town and he asks about her whereabouts, they would make up an excuse that she was really busy with (an extracurricular/job) or she got a new number. he’s gonna find out soon enough that was some bullshit.

it’s a friday night and the girls decided it was time to get dolled up and go out to celebrate y/n’s freedom from clark’s fuckery. they’re all chatting and filling their table with laughter when y/n hears her cell phone vibrate. she flips open the device and looks at her text messages, skimming through each word cueing her deep sigh and eye roll..here we go again. y/n closes the phone down and places it back in her purse. it vibrates again and again..now kate and chloe are getting suspicious, giving each other knowing looks. let’s just say that the silence was indeed loud.

“so, uh…who’s blowing up your phone at this hour?” chloe inquired, tilting her head.

“it’s just my mom reminding me to do something when i get home.” y/n replied as she shrugged her shoulders to ease the tension.

“oh, so she’s reminding you five times?” kate asked, her elbow on the table with her chin resting on her knuckle. she raised a brow then narrowed her eyes before finally addressing the elephant in the room.

“it’s clark, isn’t it?”

“no.”

“bullshit!” the girls exclaimed.

“fine! it was clark. he said he hated how things ended between us and that he was blind to how really important i was to him. he also said that without me, he feels so weak.” y/n confessed.

these were his words. he wasn’t blind to shit considering he has x-ray vision. not weak either because the guy had super strength.

chloe and kate couldn’t help but to roll their eyes and shake their heads at this foolishness, but who were they to judge? they both fell for the charming farm boy they grew up with at one point during their lives. hell, they even both attempted to cross that line of confession and dating him for real, but they let that go to preserve their friendship with each other and with clark. it’s messy, but it was clark kent. smallville’s local knight in shining armor. how could any girl let go of him completely once they’ve been attached? it was just his new bold and unpredictable attitude that rubbed them the wrong way. hopefully it’s just a phase.

“he also said to meet at his place so we could talk things over. if he really wants us to work things out, i should be there in the next 10 minutes…” with each word, the volume of y/n’s voice started to diminish as she looked around and bit at her bottom lip to avoid the awkward, yet frustrated glares of her friends. “maybe i should go to hear him out and get some closure…”

“wait, wait, wait!”, chloe objected shaking her head. “if my memory serves, you said that last time was the last time. did you not catch him in another lie of him seeing lana before taking you out, correct?”

“….yes, but he sorta made it up to me.” y/n’s face heated up as her mind wandered to the semi-passionate endeavor her and clark shared in her bedroom after the argument that concluded their last date. she thanked the Lord above that her parents were out of town and that clark respected her enough to not push any further than what she was comfortable with. kate and chloe's eyes widened from sudden realization to complete astonishment.

"before you guys shame me, no, we didn’t go that far, but you know how guys are always saying i can’t drop clark due to the fact that i’m always wrapped around his finger?”

(reference to pt 2 iykyk)

y/n recited her friends past warnings as her fingers signaled air quotation marks.

“i guess you can say that literally and figuratively.”

silence filled the trio once more before they all heard another vibration. y/n flipped open her device and checked her text messages again. her eyes skimmed over the text for a few seconds before her fingertips made a few sounds to type a response to the person on the other end. after one press of the “send” button, she stood to her feet and pushed in the chair before greeting her friends a formal goodbye, “that was mom again. she said she needs me home asap. i’ll catch you guys at school?” the girls gave her nod and a “mhm!” before they watched their friend power walk out of the restaurant to her parked honda accord.

after they saw the car speed off into the night, kate sarcastically chuckled and shook her head before gazing at chloe, finally breaking the silence.

“we both know damn well that she went to go meet up with clark right?”

“i know…” chloe replied.

“yeah.” kate nodded and gazed below at the ground with a tight lipped smile as she fiddled with her fingers.

meanwhile…

10 minutes. it sounds like a lot of time, but not so much when you’re deciding on which path to take. right for the l/n’s house, left for the kent’s. her eyes darted in both directions, her heart thumping in her chest. it was only a matter of time before she could switch the turn signal up or down. she began to think. think of the times her friends were there for her at her lowest. the temper tantrums. the late night rants on the phone. the fake smiles for her parents. the tears that soaked her pillow. all because of him. his arrogance, his brutal honesty yet he lies, his shameless flirtation with other women. his eyes…his words…his kiss…his touch…his affection. damn, damn, damn! her mind was finally made up. she put the car in drive and made the turn onto the path of her destination for the night.

“hey, look, i got your messages. you said you wanted to talk things over, so let’s talk, clark.”

y/n stood with her arms crossed against her chest and faced the male before her standing outside the kent house as if he were expecting her already. he looked comfortable in his black tank top and grey sweatpants with his hands in the pockets. even under the moonlight, y/n could still see that same lady-killing smile of his and icy, blue eyes that she adored so much that it made her heart swell.

“it’s about time you showed up, beautiful. you don’t know how much i’ve missed you lately.” he pulled his pink lips into a smirk and took a few steps closer to her as his eyes never did pull away from her own. “i don’t think talking out here in the dark would do us any good, so how about we go somewhere more quiet and…” he took a beat of pause, “private.” tilting his head in the direction of his loft in the barn.

y/n sighed, licked her lips, and started walking in the direction towards clark’s loft with her arms still crossed. little did she know that his eyes carefully zeroed in on the sway of her hips with each step she took and possibly even the sultry, black matching set underneath her clothes.

oh, this was going to be a long night.

[soft-mafia]

Hands Occupied

MINORS DNI

warnings: nsfw, oc insert, female reader, breast play, breast sucking, fingering, groping, oral(fem receiving), hands free male ejaculation, blanket humping

a/n: oh my goodness it’s been a long time😭 it’s been such a long time but I’m finally back to making fics! Hopefully nothing comes up that’ll make me go on hiatus again🙏I might take requests again soon, I’m still thinking about it👀Also, if you didn’t see my last post, I’m going to be deleting any negativity I see and not responding to hateful anons, I don’t want that kind of stuff on my page, I want this to be a fun, safe place for people who love Hisoka, hxh and fan fiction! I haven’t written for a long time, this is just me warming up again lol, sorry if this one is a bit rusty!

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Hisoka’s greedy hands roamed over Y/n’s body, his nose hovered above Y/n’s skin, taking in her scent as he dragged his face up her body until his nose was buried between her breasts. Y/n’s breathing was soft, she whimpered when she felt his hot breath on her bare skin. Hisoka couldn’t help but smirk, he really loved how he was able to get Y/n like this, soft and submissive, bendable to his will— it was like he had domesticated a wild beast and made it his pet.

Hisoka withdrew his face from Y/n’s chest, although his face was still in front of it. His hands moved from her hips up to the sides of her rib cage, his thumbs were pressed underneath her boobs.

“Don’t just stare at them..—“ Y/n let out a huff of impatience as she looked at Hisoka while he ogled her. Hisoka shook his head and chuckled, “Ah ah, patience my dear. You need to work on your patience.” Hisoka looked up at Y/n through his eyelashes, before looking back at her breasts, admiring the curve of them, her cleavage, her areole and nipples that hardened in the cold of his bedroom.

“I want to take a moment to admire this.. admire this body.” The magician whispered, flipping his soft ginger bangs away from his face before leaning his head back to her breasts.

Hisoka rubbed his face over her tits, feeling them move under his face, feeling how soft they were against him. “You’re always so impatient..” He chuckled, “Such a greedy woman..” He smirked.

Y/n’s pussy clenched, a feeling of arousal shot through her body at Hisoka’s words. She couldn’t help it, the rumble of his deep voice, the way he was touching her— Y/n bit her bottom lip and titled her head back, letting out soft pants into the air as her hand moved down her body, just when she was inches away from touching herself to get some relief, Hisoka’s hand was suddenly gripping her wrist firmly. Y/n tensed for a moment, but softened when Hisoka’s grip tightened.

Y/n allowed for Hisoka to set her hand back where it was, not allowing her to touch herself. Instead, he used his fingers instead. Y/n’s back arched at the sudden sensation, a soft mewl escaped her lips as her body trembled.

Hisoka let out another evil chuckle, “I will touch you if you’re so desperate for it, baby.” He moved his face over Y/n’s right breast. “Your body is mine, it should be mine and mine alone to touch.” Hisoka’s strong fingers moved in and out of Y/n’s dripping cunt, her walls clenched around him, her juices seeped out of her entrances and between her fingers as he shoved them in with that repetitive rhythm that made her shiver.

“Eghh..~ mghh..” Y/n moaned, her brows furrowed lightly as he dug his fingers deep inside of her.

“The way you shiver at my touch is so cute, my dear.” Hisoka lapped at Y/n’s nipple, then took it into his mouth, fitting the entire areolae into it. His tongue swirled around the pert nub. He sucked on her breast as if he was getting something out of it. He loved the slightly salty, skin-taste of it, he couldn’t get enough. Hisoka pressed his palm against Y/n’s privates so he could finger her even further, enjoying how soft the girl’s labia and inner walls were. Hisoka was hardening in his boxers, the fabric that brushed against his hard length nearly drove him mad. He wondered if he could cum like this— cum without even touching himself, cum just by sucking Y/n’s breasts and fingering her.

Y/n arched her back, throwing her head back and letting out a loud groan into the air as she bucked her hips further. Hisoka couldn’t help but crack a slight smirk. She was truly like a wild animal.. her thrashing led to him pulling away from her breast for a moment. “Calm yourself, Y/n.” Hisoka spoke with a firm voice, before moving to her other breast, taking her nipple into his mouth and sucking, leaving the other one looking swollen and hard, slicked over with his saliva exposed to the cold air.

Hisoka was amused by Y/n’s obedience, he took his fingers away from her crotch, feeling satisfied as he heard a disheartened whine leave Y/n’s lip. Hisoka moved his hand over to cup her unoccupied tit, he rubbed his wet fingers over that swollen nipple, rubbing his index finger around it in circles. Y/n twitched and shivered under his touch again, the sensation was so much for her, a tingle in her chest that led down to her abdomen, her wet cunt clenched with need and desire.

Y/n squeezed the pillows, trying to hold back the urge to touch herself, knowing that Hisoka would try to stop her again anyway..

Hisoka continued what he was doing, fondling one tit while sucking the other. Though, once he was satisfied he pulled back. “Lay down for me, baby.” Hisoka said, and began to position Y/n as she lowered herself flat on the bed. The red haired man smirked as he looked down at her, her nipples: swollen and slick from his own doing, and her cunt sopping wet. Y/n spread her legs as she laid down, her fingers squeezed the flesh of her soft inner thigh.

The mad magician licked his lips, then pushed his bangs back with his hand, his muscles flexing as he did this swift motion before he lowered himself down between her legs. His face was so close to Y/n’s heat, he could feel the warmth on his skin and it drew him in. Her pussy was glistening with her own wetness in the lighting of the dim lamp light. Hisoka laid his muscular arms up on either side of Y/n’s body, his hands cupping her rib cage, her breasts cupped into the curve between his index and thumbs.

Hisoka leaned into her cunt, he didn’t waste any time before he dove his tongue into her. He wasn’t inexperienced when it came to eating Y/n out, he knew what made her shiver and climax like the back of his hand. Hisoka tilted his head so he could writhe his tongue in deeper into her.

He could feel her shivering, he could hear her whimpering and moaning as he licked and lapped at her inner most sensitive parts. He was getting a bit antsy himself, listening to Y/n’s noises, tasting her, feeling her and smelling her— his hard cock rubbed against his boxers, and he couldn’t help but rock his hips against the blankets underneath him. He dug his knees into the bed, his muscular legs tensed as he began to rock and grind his hard cock into the sheets. His muscular body twitched in arousal as he did so, and it only further encouraged him to bring Y/n to an orgasm, wanting to chase it with her.

Hisoka always felt at his most primal when he was intimate with Y/n like this, this shared moment of arousal and heat— a feeling that was built instinctively into the both of them made Hisoka feel like a true beast giving into his own nature. His hands gripped around Y/n’s chest slightly as he ground his cock down onto the sheets. His entire body coursed with arousal, he felt so close, he involuntarily let out a low groan against Y/n’s cunt.

Hisoka trembled and twitched, and as Y/n jerked up slightly, and a flood of juices came rushing onto Hisoka’s tastebuds— that’s when he knew it was time. Hisoka immediately had a release of his own, and grunted firmly into Y/n’s cunt as he did so. His body jerked subtly, his hot sperm squirted out into his boxers, the sensation was like electric. Hisoka’s hold on Y/n went lax as they both panted heavily, coming down from their orgasms. “Oh fuck..” Y/n groaned, squeezing her eyes shut and turning her head to the side as she let go of her legs, resting her hands down onto the bed.

The magician chuckled softly, giving Y/n’s pussy a soft kiss before rising up, sitting on his knees with a noticeable stain in his boxers. Y/n’s eyes opened, and her gaze immediately shifted to Hisoka’s package. She pouted at him, “You ruined your underwear— that was like, my favorite one.” She laughed softly. Hisoka couldn’t help but smile at that, his boxers were a bit goofy for the intimate situation— they were bright pink with a cartoonish flower print pattern. Hisoka had remembered how Y/n laughed so hard the first time she saw them— she laughed so hard that it brought the entire mood down, she didn’t let him hear the end of it for an entire week..

Hisoka smiled and leaned down to lay beside of Y/n, “It’ll be another memory, my dear.” He smiled at her, kissing her temple gently before he watched her grab her phone from the side table. “I’m hungry.. I’m gonna order something what do you wanna eat?”

Hisoka looked at her for another moment before chuckling and laying on his back, letting her snuggle up to his side, “Mm.. I’m in the mood for a chicken sandwich, perhaps..”

[naughtyneganjdm]

Good Luck Charm - Chapter 29

Summary: Negan deals with the overwhelming emotional effects of what happened to Y/N altering his life and he's not handling it well.

Characters: Negan, Y/N/reader (OC), Evie, Nathan, Simon, etc.

Warnings: Swearing, Severe Angst, etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/39423063/chapters/139486027

Notes: I know I said that I would put up the priest Negan fic next, but this one has been done and edited for a while. I just forgot about it. But I promise that one is next. Thanks to anyone that still reads this story!

“You’re being lazy,” Negan felt the warmth of an arm wrapping around his waist from behind, holding him close. It made a smile tug at Negan’s lips when he cuddled his head in closer to the pillow that he was laying on. A faint kiss was pressed over the back of his neck and it had his lips parting. “You need to wake up. It’s a busy day.”

“Every day is a busy day,” Negan frowned, turning in the bed with his tired eyes fluttering to an open. “You know that Y/N.”

Seeing her smile made his heart skip a beat. Maybe he got used to seeing her sad for so long that whenever she smiled it honestly took his breath away. Hooking his fingers with hers, Negan brought her hand to him to place a kiss over the back of it.

“There is nowhere I’d rather be than in bed with you,” Negan informed her with a hesitant smile, leaning in to nuzzle his nose against hers. There was no better feeling in the world than waking up knowing that you weren’t alone. That there was someone with you to share your life with. “I’d rather take the day just to be with you.”

“Why are you still here Negan?” Y/N whispered causing his breath to get caught in his throat. Tipping his head back, he felt his body tensing up and he didn’t know what she meant. That wasn’t exactly the response that he was looking for.

“In bed? Because I’m comfortable with you,” Negan responded with a frown. The warmth he felt waking up was suddenly cold and uneasy. She looked unhappy with him and he didn’t know what to say. “I don’t care about the rest of the world right now. The children are sleeping. We’re together. That’s all that matters.”

“I mean at The Sanctuary,” she countered causing his lips to part. Trying to lean forward to kiss her, Negan felt her fingers pressing in over his lips to keep him from doing so. “I asked you to take the children to the farm and you’re still living here Negan.”

“What do you…?” Negan began with a faint whisper, stopping when he realized where this conversation was headed.

“I asked you and you promised me. You swore you were going to take the children to the farm Negan. Let them live a normal life. You swore,” her voice got angrier as she sat up in the bed. The tension in her body only further proved that. It made Negan’s heart begin to race and he felt like he was starting to panic. Pressing up onto his palms, Negan braced his body weight on them as he stared out at her on the bed. “It was my dying wish Negan. You promised me and you still haven’t done it. Why haven’t you kept your promise?”

With a gasp, Negan’s eyes snapped open with his heart hammering inside of his chest. Lifting his head, Negan saw that it was still nighttime with the small amount of light from the moon filtering into his room at The Sanctuary. Gazing to the bed beside him, Negan made sure that Nathan and Evie were still there. When he knew that they were safe, he was able to calm down somewhat before attempting to gather himself.

Lowering his head into his palms, Negan groaned out and couldn’t shake the feeling that he was experiencing. The nightmares returned. They were gone for a short while, but now every time he closed his eyes he had some kind of bad dream that revolved around Y/N. Either that moment on the hill repeated in his dreams or she was in them angry. He had a few dreams that included Lucille as well. She was angry with him too in them for what went down. There was no escaping the way he was feeling. Not awake. Not sleeping.

Sliding in closer to his children, Negan pulled both Nathan and Evie in closer to his body. It had been weeks since the day Negan had left Y/N in that small town. For the first two weeks Negan went out every day searching for her body. He had most of The Saviors searching for her too. They all knew what she looked like and what she was wearing. It had almost been a month with no prevail. But he kept looking. He wasn’t ready to give up.

What Y/N had said to him in his dreams echoed throughout his mind. He did promise her that he would take the children to the farm, but his number one priority was finding her body. More than anything, he needed that closure. The children needed that closure. They needed to bury Y/N in order for them to have a grave to go to. That meant he had to stay at The Sanctuary and use all the resources he could in order to try to find her.

In his arms, Negan felt Evie cuddling in closer to him and it made his chest ache. Since they hadn’t found Y/N, Evie was convinced during the first few weeks that her mother was still alive, but the longer time passed the more it became obvious that Evie was coming to terms with the thought that her mother was really gone. Especially since Y/N would have made it back to them if she was alive. There was no way that she wouldn’t have made it back. Not with having Nathan and Evie with Negan.

It was hard for both him and Evie. Negan was suffering greatly from depression. He was doing his best to hold it together but losing Y/N had hit him hard. Nathan really didn’t understand it, he was too young. He would ask for her, but he didn’t understand that she was gone. Negan wished it wasn’t like this, but there was nothing he could do to change it.

Because Negan was having a hard time he picked up on the fact that Evie was doing her best not to have meltdowns, but some days she was like him and she would break down. But most of the time it felt like she was taking care of him. Evie knew that he was broken especially after finding him that day having a meltdown at the farm. It was a job that she shouldn’t have had to carry the weight of, but she was doing her best for the both of them. It should have been the opposite, but no matter what Negan did he couldn’t pull himself out of the darkness that he was feeling.

Pressing a kiss over the top of Evie’s head, Negan cuddled his chin in closer to her to hold her close. Nathan was lying beside Evie on the other end and Negan made sure he was close too before trying to get comfortable. Sleeping became hard for Negan again. He had a hard time staying asleep. Exhaustion would often catch up to him and he would pass out, but it never lasted long.

Another thing Negan knew is that he wasn’t taking care of himself physically either. Before all of this happened, he would always keep himself looking super clean and pristine. Now he was letting his hair grow out and it was often messy. It had been a long time since he had shaved. And he wasn’t showering like he could have been. Right now those things just didn’t matter to him.

He was making sure that the children were fed and taken care of, but all he cared about was finding Y/N. It didn’t make sense to him that she was completely missing. Then again, there was a thought that entered his mind. If Y/N did turn, they were right by the water. He didn’t want to think it, but there was that chance that she ended up in the water and that’s why they were never finding her. Maybe her corpse was beneath the water and they would never find her.

That thought was horrifying to him and it was one that he was going to have to live with for a long time. He hoped that he was wrong and there was something that him and his Saviors were missing. It didn’t make sense that they weren’t finding her body. Negan personally went through the entire town that they were in when he left her. Multiple times. He searched for some kind of sign as to where she went and he found nothing. There was nothing there. It was like she just completely vanished.

Clearing his throat, Negan thought about how Y/N asked Negan to give Evie her wedding band that Negan gave her. That was something he didn’t follow through with either. Instead it was still on the necklace that he wore. In his mind, she was his wife so he was never going to take it off. It kept a piece of her with him always.

Right now, he still saw her in his sleep every night. It was often a nightmare, but at least he still saw Y/N. He was worried about how long it might be before he stopped dreaming of her. Until he stopped remembering what her voice sounded like. They got so far only for their dreams to be ripped out from beneath them. It wasn’t fair. That’s how he still viewed this whole situation. It was wrong on so many levels and it wasn’t fair.

Trying to force his eyes closed, Negan knew that he wasn’t likely going to fall asleep. And if he did? It would take hours. So he just cherished the warmth of his children near him. Glad that they were at least sleeping.

Unfortunately he was right. Negan was awake long enough for the sun to start to rise and by the time he finally did fall asleep, he didn’t stay asleep for long before one of his people at The Sanctuary brought in breakfast for them. Lifting his head, Negan groaned out when he saw that Evie and Nathan were already up sitting at the table. Clutching tightly to the pillow that was in his arms, Negan grumbled and lowered his head back down.

“Breakfast daddy,” Evie called out to Negan who rolled onto his stomach before pulling the pillow in over his head. With a sigh, Evie got up from the bed and reached for Negan’s white t-shirt to tug at it. “You have to eat. You didn’t eat lunch or dinner yesterday.”

“I’m not hungry,” Negan grumbled with his voice being muffled against the bedsheets. Another firm tug was felt at his shirt when Evie managed to get him up and seated on the edge of the bed. There were dark circles under Negan’s eyes and his hair was a mess. Frowning, Evie stepped forward to brush her fingers through her father’s messy hair. “You don’t have to take care of me Evie.”

“I do,” she insisted reaching for Negan’s hands to squeeze tightly at them. Getting Negan finally to his feet, she led him over toward the chair that he would often sit at and got him to lower down. Sliding his plate of breakfast before him, she handed him over the silverware before taking her seat. Nathan was already at his chair, kicking his feet while he picked at his breakfast. Evie was doing her best to eat too, but Negan hated this part of things. They still had the fourth chair there. Having it empty felt wrong, but taking it away felt worse. So his meals would often lead to him having a breakdown that led him to tears thinking about Y/N. “Daddy?”

“Yeah baby?” Negan’s tired expression met Evie’s when she pointed down to the plate. “I’m trying honey. I’m sorry.”

“Hi daddy,” Nathan smiled brightly when Negan looked him over. It drew attention to his dimples and Negan feigned a smile. God, this was so fucking hard and he knew that he had to start stepping it up. He was the only parent these two had left and he felt like he was failing them. He felt like he was failing Y/N.

“Good morning handsome,” Negan got up from his chair enough to press a kiss over Nathan’s forehead. Brushing his fingers through Nathan’s hair, Negan carefully lowered back down into his seat and sighed loudly. Watching Nathan pick at his food, Negan slid his chair in closer and reached for the silverware. Cutting up his food, Negan lifted it up on a spoon making Nathan’s smile expand. With a hum Nathan swallowed down on the food and bobbed his head about like nothing was wrong. “Does that taste good buddy?”

“Yeah,” Nathan responded eager for another bite when Negan brought up a spoonful again. Evie’s eyes were locked on them together while Negan attempted to make silly faces to get Nathan to giggle. What she also noticed was that Negan never took a bite of his food. “Yum.”

“Yum is right. You’re gonna grow up and be a strong little boy, aren’t you?” Negan heard the sound of a chair moving, but he kept his attention on Nathan. Suddenly the sound of Evie making train sounds were heard and a spoon was placed in front of his mouth. Arching his eyebrow, Negan’s head slowly turned and Evie nodded toward the spoon.

“Eat,” she demanded of Negan who let out a long exhale. “Do I have to make silly faces too?”

Replicating almost the same faces as Negan was doing previously with Nathan had Nathan in a round of giggles before Negan opened his mouth to accept the bite, “Now if you want to feed Nathan, I’ll feed you. Swallow it down.”

“Yes ma’am,” Negan swallowed down hard knowing that she was just doing her best to get him to eat. Evie kept up with what she was doing until Nathan was done with his breakfast. Raising his hand up, Negan nodded his head about and sighed. “I can feed myself the rest of the time.”

“Okay,” she lowered the silverware and gave him a stern expression. Usually Evie took on a majority of his genes, but that look right there. That look was something he had seen from Y/N so many times in the past. “You better.”

“Yes ma’am,” Negan smirked, whistling when Evie went to walk away. Wiggling his fingers, Negan motioned her to him again. Curling his arm around her waist, he hugged her close to him. He knew that he wasn’t being the best father he could be right now, but the depression was hitting him hard. Having Evie here with him definitely made things better, but he knew he should have been the one taking care of her. Not the other way around. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she whispered, burying her head against the side of his neck to squeeze harder at him for the hug.

A knock was heard making them both look back to see that the door was slowly pushing open. Once Simon was revealed to be behind it, Negan cleared his throat and felt a sense of discomfort, “Hey boss man. Can we talk?”

“Not until he’s done with his breakfast,” Evie answered for Negan and it made Negan’s thick eyebrows bounce up in amusement. Simon’s head tipped to the side with him looking to Negan for a response.

“You heard the little lady, she’s in charge,” Negan pointed to Evie who gave a faint smile when her father listened to her instead of going straight to work like he normally would. “She’s the boss. So let me finish this and I will be right out.”

“It’s kind of important,” Simon stressed to Negan, his hands resting at his hips when Evie reached out to place her hand in over her father’s shoulder almost to stress dominance in this moment.

“And so is him eating. He doesn’t have much left, he hasn’t eaten much in days so please let him eat. You can wait outside,” Evie waved her hand about in the air before returning to her seat. A snort fell from Negan’s lips at her response. Shrugging his shoulders, Negan nodded in the direction of Evie showing Simon that he was going to be listening to his daughter. “He’ll be out when he’s done. You can wait outside.”

With a grunt, Simon gave Negan a glare before leaving the room and closing the door behind him. Faintly clapping his hands together, Negan knew that Evie was proud of herself, “Good job baby girl. I can’t even get him to listen to me.”

“It’s time someone did,” she finished with her breakfast while he did the same. After he finished, he got up from his seat and got the dishes together. Then he gave both Nathan and Evie a kiss on the head before starting to go for the door. “Are you going to be gone today?”

“No honey, I’m just gonna go speak to Simon and then I will be right back,” Negan assured her with a firm nod of his head. Giving her a wink, he headed out of the room and saw that Simon was resting against the wall with anger flooding his features. “What is it?”

Once the door was shut behind Negan, Simon stepped forward and threw his hands up in the air, “When are we going to stop this Negan? It’s been weeks and you still have The Saviors out looking for Y/N. I think we both know we’re not going to find anything.”

“We stop when we find her,” Negan responded with a shake of his head. This was something Simon kept bringing up and by this point it was starting to really infuriate Negan. There was a flood of rage rushing through his veins and Negan knew he had to try to keep a level head about this. “I’m not going to give up until we find her.”

“Then you’re never going to be safe Negan,” Simon retorted with an angered breath. “Rick’s crew is likely planning their attack on the fucking place while you’re wasting all of our resources and our men on some bitch that is likely dead at the bottom of the water.”

“Watch your fucking mouth,” Negan roared, stepping forward to firmly shove his hands into the center of Simon’s chest. The swiftness of it had Simon stumbling backwards, a grunt falling from his throat. “Don’t you fucking dare call my wife a bitch. I will fucking destroy you.”

“Like you’re destroying The Saviors and The Sanctuary?” Simon snarled hearing Negan’s breathing growing louder, his hazel eyes narrowing in frustration. “Ever since Y/N and those kids showed up, you’ve been letting this place nosedive into the ground. You are meant to be the leader. We are in the middle of a war with Rick and his people. What are you doing though? You’re in your bedroom every day sobbing into your pillows. And if you’re not doing that you are out all day long looking for a woman that you know is dead. We both know you’re never going to find her Negan.”

“I don’t give a shit what you think Simon. I’m going to keep looking for her because I love her and…” Negan paused when the sound of Simon laughing interrupted him. Biting at his bottom lip, Negan felt his rage increasing with Simon rolling his eyes.

“You loved her?” Simon mocked Negan, emphasizing his words in an antagonizing way. Simon’s jaw was clenching and he made it clear he was furious with the way Negan was acting. “She was one of your wives Negan. Not the only one. Just one of them.”

“Watch where you are headed with this,” Negan warned his number two, his fingers curling into a tighter fist at his side.

“You know, I never really agreed with your actions here, but I went along with it because for the most part, it got things done,” Simon began, his eyes locking with Negan’s trying to express some sense of power over Negan in this moment. “Then Rick shows up and proves to you that your way of doing things isn’t going to work. But you keep toying with the guy and you are letting them build up an offense against us. Then your family shows up and suddenly you don’t care anymore. All you care about is your family and a woman that you didn’t even care for when the world was normal Negan. Why the hell is she so important now? Because she certainly wasn’t when you were married to Lucille.”

Closing his eyes, Negan tried to count to himself knowing that he was fully prepared to attack Simon at this moment, “Now you’re letting a ten-year-old control your life and it’s fucking pathetic.”

Grunting out, Simon stumbled back after the force of Negan punching him collided with the side of his face. It had Simon grabbing the railing, his fingers curling tightly around the metal when his other hand reached up to caress where Negan had hit him. Lifting his head, Simon noticed the way that Negan’s eyes were locked on him, with Negan’s chest heaving.  

Standing up straight, Simon’s blood was rushing through his veins when he stepped before Negan fully prepared to fight him back when Negan shoved into him again, “What are you gonna do Simon? Huh? You wanna fight? I fucking dare you. I will destroy you.”

“Daddy?” Evie’s voice was heard in a faint whisper. Both men gazed over at her with Simon backing down when he saw Negan’s younger daughter staring out at them with big eyes. Worry filled her young features and Simon scoffed, before rubbing at his face again. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything is fine baby,” Negan’s posture changed completely when he spotted Evie, lowering down on his knees to reach out to cup her face in his rough hands. “You go back in there and watch your brother for me. Daddy just needs to talk to Simon, okay?”

By her expression, Negan could tell that Evie wasn’t comfortable with leaving him, but she was going to listen to him just because he asked her to. Giving her a quick kiss on the cheek, Negan slowly stood and waited for the door to be closed before turning on his heel, “You ever say something negative about my wife or my daughter again and I will fucking kill you. You understand me?”

“Crystal clear,” Simon’s shoulders slouched, his breathing loud enough for Negan to hear. In a sense, Simon was lucky because Negan wasn’t sure what he was capable of if Evie hadn’t come out. “At least I know when this place falls, it wasn’t my fault. It was yours.”

“Fuck you,” Negan snarled under his breath, standing his ground before Simon. With a roll of his eyes, Simon shook his head before giving Negan a final glare. Instead of saying anything more, Simon walked off leaving Negan to himself. Negan let out a tense sound, his heart hammering in his chest with a fire burning in his fist from where he had punched Simon. He was furious with the way that Simon responded to him searching for Y/N. If it came between dealing with Rick and finding Y/N, he wanted to find Y/N. That would be his choice every time. Shaking his head, Negan stepped back toward the door to his bedroom and stopped when something caught his attention out of the corner of his eyes. Immediately, his stomach sank, his heart hammering in his chest when he saw Y/N standing at the end of the hallway. “Y/N?”

Calling out, Negan started to move away from the door of the bedroom that his children was in. Once he seemed to notice her there, she took off in the other direction and he quickened his movements. It seemed like she was pushing through the group of people that were on the second level to get away from Negan when he called out to her again. She got a head start down the stairs and he took off after her.

“Stop! What are you doing?” Negan called out and it drew her to look back over her shoulder at Negan when she got to the bottom of the stairs. When their eyes connected, Negan could feel a chill run down his spine. “Wait.”

His pleas were heard on deaf ears as she continued to run away from him and he felt a rush of panic flooding his veins. Trying his best to keep up with her, Negan cussed out to himself when he reached the bottom of the stairs and didn’t see her. Looking both ways, he noticed that an exit door was closing and he quickly headed that way.

Once he reached the outside, he came to a stumbling stop to look around. He could barely breathe when he took a look around in hopes of finding her. Everything was weighing heavy on him, but mostly confusion. How’d she get back here and why was she running away? And how was she alive?

Finally, his eyes locked onto Y/N when he saw that she was standing by the gate where they had all of the walkers attached to it to keep people from trying to enter The Sanctuary.

“Y/N!” Negan called out her name once more, fear overtaking him when he saw her getting close to the fence. With him approaching, it had the growling sounds from the walkers growling and they seemed to get more animated with him there. Coming to a stop drew her eyes away for a minute to gaze over at him and Negan threw his hands up in the air. His pulse was pounding inside of his head, his breathing uneven when he approached her. “Y/N? What are you doing? How’d you get here? You’re alive.”

Smirking, she gave Negan a weird expression before going back to observing the walker. When she leaned a little too close in for his comfort, he threw his hand up to stop her, “Hey! Be careful. What the fuck are you doing?”

“Calm down,” she breathed out with a wrinkle of her nose. She seemed to be taking in the features of the walker that was before her. Without any fear, she stepped closer to it and it had Negan stepping forward. “It’s not like I’m going to get bit or anything. Well…again.”  

“That’s not funny,” Negan grunted under his breath drawing Y/N to smile, tipping her head from side to side. Reaching out she poked at the abdomen of the walker before her and Negan didn’t know how to react to the way she was acting. “I don’t understand what’s going on right now. You’ve been gone for weeks. You make it back to The Sanctuary, you’re perfectly okay and the first thing you decide to do is run away from me so you can get close and personal with the walkers?”

Again, she didn’t respond to him as she poked at a different spot on the walker which made the growling sounds grow louder, “Hey! I’m talking to you. After everything that happened the last time I saw you, this is what you decide to do? Not go to your children? And you’re making jokes about being bitten?”  

“You’re being too sensitive,” she stammered, finally giving her full attention to Negan resting her hands on her hips. “Maybe I’m just taking more after you. Making light of a dark situation. You’re the one with the dark humor here. Take the stick out of your ass Negan.”

“I…what?” Negan responded in disbelief when she snickered to herself and started walking the length of the fence again. “Y/N? What are you doing?”

Brushing his fingers through his messy hair, Negan’s body was trembling and more than anything he wanted to wrap his arms around her to hug her, but she was acting so strange. Clearing his throat, a warmth flooded his face when he threw his hand up in the air.

“I imagine you’re really mad at me right now for leaving,” Negan suggested finally getting her attention when she looked back over her shoulder at him. “I heard that gun go off. I was certain that you killed yourself and I made a promise to you. I left and if I would have ever known that you were alive I promise I would have never left you. I told you that the mark on your arm didn’t exactly look like a bite.”

It seemed like she was thinking things over before turning on her heel to approach him, still saying nothing.

“You have no idea the hell that I’ve been through since that day. I thought you were dead. Evie thought you were dead,” Negan informed her with a broken sound, his hand hovering in over his chest and shaking when she let out a long exhale. “We need to take you to her. Come with me.”

Extending his hand out, Negan expected her to take it, but instead she just looked down at his hand and frowned, “Please.”

“Boss?” a voice surprised Negan causing him to jump. Looking back over his shoulder, he noticed that Laura was approaching him and all the color was drained from her face. The expression over her features almost made him uncomfortable the closer she got to him. “Who are you talking to?”

“What do you mean who am I talking to?” Negan was disgusted with Laura even asking him that question. Pointing toward Y/N had her eyebrows bouncing up. Laura looked in the direction he pointed before looking back to Negan again. “I think it’s kind of fucking obvious who I’m talking to.”

“You’re talking to…” Laura looked to the gate of walkers and cleared her throat uneasily. “The walkers?”

“What the fuck are you…” Negan let out an uneasy breath when a smirk tugged at Y/N’s features. If anything Laura looked concerned for Negan right now. Gazing between Y/N and Laura, Negan felt a chill running down his spine when he let out a hesitant sound. “This isn’t funny. She’s literally right here.”

“Who is?” Laura took a moment to ask after she looked around the area surrounding them. There was genuine concern in her eyes with Negan letting out an uncomfortable laugh.

“I don’t know what this is,” Negan announced nervously gazing between both women. Waving his hand about in Y/N’s direction had Laura’s lips parting and it looked like she wanted to say something but didn’t. “She’s right here. I don’t know if the two of you are doing this to get one over on me for letting this happen, but…”

“Negan,” Laura held her hand up in the air trying to get Negan to focus. Stepping forward, she grabbed a hold of Negan’s shoulders and he felt tense with her holding onto him like this. “Who am I supposed to be seeing right now?”

“Y/N. She’s right there and she’s…” Negan answered her, his voice breaking when Laura slowly released him. There was worry in her eyes with Laura looking Negan over. “I saw her in the hallways walking and then…how do you not see her she’s standing right there? This isn’t a funny joke.”

“Negan, no one is joking. I see no one. All I see is you talking to the air. It’s just you and the walkers,” Laura explained to Negan with a shake of her head. Reaching out, she curled her fingers around Negan’s wrist and nodded her head toward The Sanctuary. “Maybe I should get you to the doctor. What do you think?”

“I’m not crazy,” Negan suggested with a hesitant laugh looking down to Laura’s fingers curled around his wrist.

“Okay, you’re not crazy,” Laura held her hands up when Negan yanked his wrist from her. “You’re probably just tired. You’ve been out constantly looking for Y/N. Maybe you’re just exhausted and not getting enough sleep. How about I walk back with you to your room?”

“Fucking hell,” Negan lowered his head, pinching at the bridge of his nose. Cussing under his breath, Negan tried to gather himself. Looking again, he saw that Y/N was still standing there and she waved. “I have to be dreaming again.”

“Negan, you’re right here. You’re not sleeping,” Laura insisted, squeezing at Negan’s arm to try to comfort him. Nothing was making sense right now. It felt like the world was spinning around him and like he could throw up. “Do I need to get the doctor here to help you?”

“No. No,” Negan shook his head over and over again starting to realize what was happening here. God, he was going fucking crazy and seeing things. It felt like he was on the verge of a panic attack with the way his chest was tightening. With everything that he had just said in front of Laura, he knew that she also was going to think he was insane. Standing up straight, he dragged his hand down over the side of his face and feigned a smile. “I was actually just joking with you. That’s what this was.”

“A joke?” she repeated and Negan eagerly nodded his head. An awkward expression filled her features when Laura looked over Negan. Laura thought he was crazy. Hell, he thought he was crazy too. “Are you sure? Do you need me to stay with you?”

 “No, I just need some space,” Negan assured her with a shrug of his shoulders, shoving his hands into his pockets. Not fighting with him, Laura turned on her heel before Negan called out to her. “Laura? Could you please not tell anyone about this today?”

“Of course,” Laura muttered before heading back toward what she was doing near The Sanctuary. Hopefully she would keep her word or else it would get back to Simon and somehow he would convince everyone that he was not mentally fit to be the leader. Which meant he would lose the help that he needed to actually find Y/N.

“Do you think I look like this one right now?” Y/N’s voice spoke up and it made every muscle in Negan’s body clench. Turning to face her again, Negan could see that she was observing one of the walkers that was on the fence more thoroughly. “I figure after all the rot and body decay, this has to be what I look like right now, right?”

“Stop,” Negan demanded when she chomped her teeth together almost mimicking the walker that was before her.

“Do you think I’ve killed someone? All that blood and rot coming out of my mouth,” Y/N pointed out toward the mouth of the walker again and Negan felt his heart racing inside of his chest. A muscle in his jaw flexed with his stare becoming more serious. “Aw. Negan. Loosen up. It’s not like I’m dead or anything.”

“You’re not really here,” Negan whispered to himself, turning on his heel as he headed back toward The Sanctuary. An overwhelming sense of guilt and agony filled him again almost like the first time he lost her. More than anything he was trying to keep it together when he headed back so people didn’t see him losing it again.

“Hey. Why are you running off?” Y/N’s voice beckoned him from behind. A long, overwhelmed sound escaped his lips. When he reached for the door, he stopped when he felt her fingers wrapping around his wrist to stop him. It felt so real and a tremoring breath fell from him. “You’re leaving me again?”

Swallowing down, Negan tried to avoid looking at Y/N as he walked back into The Sanctuary. The sound of her footsteps following him were heard again, but he tried to block it out, “Typical Negan. When things get hard he runs. Abandons me. Like he always did. Just like you did that night. Leaving me in that small town all alone.”

“Shut up!” Negan finally erupted, turning on his heel and it had everyone in the hallway jumping. Everyone looked around trying to figure out who he was talking to, but they just likely assumed that they were making too much noise so they all went silent. A smirk tugged at Y/N’s features when he swiftly started making it back up the stairs. When he almost reached the bedroom, he came to a stop when he noticed Y/N was still following him. Making sure he was alone, Negan surveyed the hallway before turning to look at her. “I need whatever this is to stop. I’m about to go be with our children and I can’t be having a mental break in front of them. Please. Leave me alone.”

“So now you want to get rid of me?” she was offended when Negan reached for the door again and pushed into it. An annoyed breath fell from Negan’s throat when she pushed through with him. Sitting at the center of the bed was Evie and Nathan staring up at him with big eyes. Closing the door, Negan stood before his children and felt like his entire body was on fire.

“I need to take a shower,” Negan announced, his voice raspier than normal. “Maybe after we do that, the three of us can go for a walk around outside before I go out looking again tonight.”

“That’d be nice,” Evie nodded her head, but she seemed worried with the way that Negan looked. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Negan assured her, looking back toward the door to see that Y/N was leaning back against it. Heading for the bathroom, Negan stopped and swallowed down loudly. Everything felt so surreal right now. Negan didn’t know if he hadn’t had enough sleep or if something weird was actually going on. He really felt like he was having a mental breakdown. Especially since he could see Y/N standing there like she was perfectly okay, yet no one else could. “Evie? Do you see your mother?”

“What do you mean?” Evie replied back, unsure how to answer. Holding his finger up toward the door, Negan noticed that he was shaking an incredibly large amount when Y/N looked over toward their children that were sitting down on the bed together. Evie gazed over at the area that Negan was pointing at and worry began to flood her young features, “Are you asking me if I see her there? I don’t see anything daddy.”  

“I meant,” Negan whimpered, licking his lips when he shakily lowered his hand. He didn’t even know why he asked her that. He knew that Y/N wasn’t really there. That was when his eyes started burning over. He broke. He finally broke. Something was seriously wrong with him because he was seeing someone that wasn’t there. “I meant in your sleep.”

“Oh, yeah. Sometimes,” Evie didn’t know how to answer when she reached for a toy that Nathan was outstretching his hand out to grab. Helping him, she played with Nathan in attempts to keep him calm. “Daddy, are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Negan lied reaching up to wipe at his face when he started crying. At this point, he couldn’t hold back on his emotions. They were just coming whether he wanted them to or not. Taking in a deep breath, he pointed toward the bathroom again and nodded. “I’m going to shower.”

Making a quick escape, Negan stumbled into the bathroom and kicked out of his boots. Heading for the shower, he turned the water on and dropped his head forward. Counting to himself, he tried to get himself to calm down when he started crying again. Stealing another look back, Negan could see that Y/N was still there and she was in the bathroom with him. It felt like the air was being stolen from his lungs and the room was spinning.

“You can’t just block me out Negan,” she declared drawing him to lower down onto the ground. Pulling himself into the shower, he remained fully clothed when he started breaking down again. The water was freezing and it hurt like hell with it pouring down in over his flesh, but he was punishing himself. Rocking back and forth, Negan covered his head when he heard her sigh. “Negan?”

Covering his ears, Negan slammed his eyes shut in hopes that he would be able to pull himself from this because this was only hurting him more. God knows how long he was in there before he felt hands pressing in over his shoulders. Lifting his head up, he saw that Evie was knelt down in front of him. When she felt how cold he was, she scrambled for the shower to turn it off.

“What are you doing?” Negan questioned watching Evie scramble to grab a towel to wrap it around him. “Evie?”

“I heard you crying,” Evie informed him with worry in her eyes. Trying to tug on his hands, she was eager to get him out of the shower, but he wouldn’t budge. “Daddy, I need you to get up. You’re freezing. You need to change and…”

Even though he knew he was doing everything wrong, Negan was locked inside himself. Everything hurt and he felt like he was dying. Reality was really starting to sink in for him and he hated everything right now. He was broken and it was a broken that you couldn’t fix.

“Daddy please,” Evie begged, struggling to get Negan up, but he wouldn’t budge. “Daddy get up.”

With a final unsuccessful tug, Evie fell back onto her bottom and let out a defeated sound. Tears swelled up in her eyes seeing her father having a complete and total breakdown in front of her, “You’re not the only one that lost her!”

A whimper fell from Negan’s throat when she threw her hands up in the air, Evie’s cries filling the bathroom when she stared out at him with pain in her eyes, “We lost mom. And if you keep up with the way you are acting we are going to lose you too. You’re not the only one that lost her dad. You only just got her back. She was with us the whole time. And she was a good mom. So please. Please. You have to stop.”

“I’m sorry,” Negan’s voice was broken when he shakily got up to his knees and threw his hands up in the air. There was an ache that would likely never go away. He was heartbroken and he didn’t know how to stop it. “I’m so sorry. I just…I don’t know what to do. I hurt. It hurts so much and…”

Dropping his head down, Negan’s hands braced on the ground when his sobs started to fill the air again. Getting up, Evie slid forward to wrap her arms around Negan while he cried. Shakily, he lifted his arms to wrap her up in a hug. Hell, he couldn’t explain to her what was going on right now, but he knew he needed to start faking it for the children. She was right. He was all they had and he had to figure things out. If not for himself, he needed to do it for them.

----

It had been another rough few weeks. Anyone who saw Negan likely knew that he was a fucking disaster right now. It was rare that he made a public appearance in The Sanctuary lately. Instead he had other people running things for him. He was unkept. Still broken and depressed. His hair was messy and longer than normal. His beard was longer and he just wore whatever the hell was comfortable. Every day he still went out searching for Y/N, but he found nothing. By this point he had pretty much given up completely. There was no sense in searching for someone who was so obviously gone. And someday soon he knew that he was going to have to stop it all together.

One of the only positives was that when he was here, he was spending all of his time with Evie and Nathan. He imagined that was something that Y/N would have liked about this. Then again, she probably wouldn’t have liked it all that much since he promised her that he would be going to the farm with the children and he hadn’t done that yet.

Lifting his eyes from where he was seated on the bed with Nathan, Negan could see that Evie was still working on whatever it was that she had been for a while now. Since Evie found Negan in the shower like she had, things had been awkward between them. Negan knew that she saw the broken pieces of him. It made things uncomfortable. Truthfully? They were both so fucked up over losing Y/N. They were both broken and there was no fixing it. The only thing that could fix it was Y/N and they were both coming to terms with the fact that she was never coming back. Well, in the physical sense for Negan at least.

He kept it to himself, but Negan was still seeing Y/N. Daily. Thankfully, right now she was nowhere to be found and that made him happy. Every time she showed up, he had a meltdown and he knew it. It was something he couldn’t explain to Evie, so he likely came off snappy whenever she’d ask him about it. Negan felt like a freak and there was nothing he could do to change that. If this was the normal world, he could get help, but the world wasn’t what it used to be. He couldn’t get help. If he went to the doctor here, it was just a doctor. Not a psychiatrist. And if he did ask for help, somehow it would get out to Simon or someone else that didn’t have faith in him and he would lose everything. He couldn’t lose everything right now. Not when he still needed the resources.

“Do you know what this is?” Negan pointed toward the image in the book that he was reading to Nathan. Every day he was trying to help Nathan become more comfortable with talking and learning things. He knew that Y/N insisted that he was smart, but he didn’t want people to think that there was something wrong with Nathan, so he was working with him.

“A dog,” Nathan was excited to answer, lifting his head up to get praise from Negan who nodded slowly. “A brown one.”

“Yes it is,” Negan watched Nathan flipping the next page while he stroked his fingers through Nathan’s hair. Nathan was cuddled up beside him while they worked together. It was something Negan honestly tried to do every day. He had someone working with both Nathan and Evie, but he was putting a lot of work into helping Nathan. “And what about this?”

“A bed!” Nathan’s voice was high pitched, but it made Negan happy that he started to get Nathan talking more.

“What about the color?” Negan tapped on the page and it was one where Nathan had to think about things. “You got this.”

“Red?” Nathan’s eyebrows furrowed, his facial expression showing that he was unsure. Nodding slowly had Nathan giggling when he looked to the book again.

“Good boy,” Negan praised Nathan on getting something right again. The sound of Evie moving her chair caught their attention when they finished with the book, but Negan was still eager to get Nathan talking again. Setting the book aside, Negan tapped at Nathan’s nose and it had Nathan rocking back with laughter. “What’s this?”

“My nose daddy,” Nathan pushed Negan’s hand aside with a big belly giggle when Negan started tickling at Nathan’s stomach. The uncontrollable laughter fell from Nathan’s throat with the way that Negan was playing with him and it had Negan smiling. Probably for the first time in a long time. “Stop!”

“No, I don’t think I will,” Negan lowered down to pepper kisses against Nathan’s face. It had happy sounds filling the air which lightened the mood of everything. It made Negan happy in some way that Nathan was too young to understand that Y/N was gone. Between Negan and Evie there was so much sadness, but with Nathan there was still a sense of purity and innocence. He was happy still and Negan needed that right now. Finally stopping, Negan saw the happy tears at the corner of Nathan’s eyes when Negan rest back on his elbow. “Okay, what about your name?”

“Hey daddy,” Evie called out with an excited breath trying to get Negan’s attention, but he held his finger up motioning her to wait. Arching his eyebrow up, Negan was looking to Nathan expectantly while Nathan grabbed a hold of his toes. “Daddy?”

“Hold on Evie,” Negan requested, his attention locked on Nathan. When Nathan didn’t answer, Negan reached out to playfully stroke his fingers through his son’s hair to mess it. Having Negan ignoring her had the smile fading from her face while Negan played with Nathan. “I know you know this answer. Don’t try to fool your daddy.”

“It will just be a second,” Evie spoke up once more with uncertainty in her tone. Looking to what she had been working on, she pushed it out toward the center of the table in hopes that she could catch Negan’s attention. “Daddy?”

“Nathan,” Nathan finally answered, his pronunciation of the word a bit broken since it was still a little hard for him.

“And how old are you?” Negan pushed after clapping his hands together. The lines in his forehead grew with his dimples becoming more prominent while he watched his son closely. “How old?”

“I’m three!” Nathan responded and Negan inhaled deeply before shaking his head. “No?”

“Not yet. Almost though!” Negan reasoned with his son, grabbing a hold of Nathan’s hands to wiggle his arms. “You’re still two!”

“Oh!” Nathan’s mouth made a big circle shape and it had Negan snickering.

“What’s this?” Negan reached for Nathan’s toes, bringing Nathan’s foot up so he could blow raspberries at the bottom of his son’s foot. It had Nathan hollering out in laughter which had Negan laughing too.

“Mine,” Nathan pulled his foot back away from Negan making Negan feel some sense of joy with how enthusiastic Nathan was being. “Toes.”

“Good boy,” Negan cheered on his son before pointing toward his own chest. “Who am I?”

“My daddy,” Nathan almost squeaked out in enthusiasm reaching out to sink his fingers into Negan’s hair. Pulling Negan close, Nathan kissed at Negan’s cheek before Negan started to return the gesture. Peppering kisses over Nathan’s face, Negan tickled at his son’s abdomen while they laughed together.

“Daddy?” Evie called out again after allowing Negan some time with Nathan, but this time Negan didn’t even give her a response when he pointed at Nathan’s chest again.

“So how old are you again?” Negan wanted to get Nathan to say it right this time.

“Two,” Nathan had the right answer this time and Negan threw his hands up in the air to cheer on his son.

“That’s right!” Negan gave a proud nod and he was being dramatic with the way that he was saying things hoping to get Nathan excited to learn. Reaching for Nathan, Negan pulled him in close to give him a big hug, making silly noises when they played together.

“Hey daddy, can I just…” Evie began trying to get her father’s attention if only for a moment.

“Evie!” Negan snapped when he heard Evie calling out to him again, his eyebrows furrowed showing that he was angry with her trying to get his attention as he lifted his head up to stare out at her. “I asked you to give me a goddamn minute. Fuck! When I’m ready for you, I will let you know. You don’t have to keep saying my name. I heard you the first fucking time.”

After he said that, Negan immediately regretted it when he saw her face turn a light shade of red. The expression she gave showed that he hurt her feelings before she dropped her head down. Sitting up, Negan went to say something, but he didn’t know what to say with her face growing a deeper shade of red. Nathan crawled into Negan’s lap in attempts to continue to try to play with him. Clearing his throat, Negan looked to Nathan who was playing with Negan’s fingers and Negan could feel a lump growing in his throat with Evie’s reaction to him yelling at her.

Dropping her pencil, Evie pushed the paper that she was working on even further out away from her in an unhurried movement. By her expression, Negan could tell that she was doing everything she could to hold back on crying with her head lowered.

“What do you want, Evie?” Negan finally spoke, adjusting Nathan in his lap noticing the way that her fingers curled around the edge of the table. There was a single tear that slid down her face and it made Negan feel guilty. “Evie?”

“Never mind. It’s not important anyways. It doesn’t matter. I’m sorry,” she sniffled, pushing her chair further away from the table. Lifting her hand, she wiped at her face with the back of it and Negan knew he should have been saying something, but he didn’t. “Can I please go to the bathroom?”

“Evie,” Negan frowned lifting one of his hands to bury his head into his palm realizing that he just upset his daughter.

“Please,” she begged still keeping her head tipped away from him because she didn’t want him to see her upset.

“Of course honey, you don’t have to ask me that,” Negan tried speaking softly to her since he knew he fucked up with the way he yelled at her. Swiftly she stood up from the table and was quick to run into the bathroom. The sound of the fan turning on was heard and he knew that she did that to likely hide from him that she was crying from what he had done. With a frown, Negan curled his arm tightly around Nathan to pull him close. Standing up, Negan brought Nathan with him when he headed over toward the table to look at what Evie obviously had been calling him over for. Grabbing what he realized was a drawing, he pulled it up to see that it was him playing with Nathan on the bed that she had drew. “Fuck.”

For a ten-year-old, it was actually incredibly well done. There was no questioning that Evie had a real talent for art. Even this early on it was obvious. He remembered when she was little how she was drawing all the time. He thought he got her started on that since he always used to doodle and draw. But this was beyond anything he had seen her do in the past.

Letting out a hiss, he looked back over his shoulder at the bathroom door wishing he would have never snapped at her like that. She was just excited to show him something that she had done and it was probably something that she was proud of.

“Good job,” Y/N’s voice was heard from the other side of the room. Looking toward the couch, Negan felt a pain at the center of his chest and he huffed when he saw her sitting there. So much for having a day without seeing her. “You’re really working on getting father of the year. Aren’t you?”

“Please, not now,” Negan begged, lifting his free hand to pinch at the bridge of his nose in hopes of getting this to stop. “I can’t take this right now.”

“Well excuse me,” she breathed out, throwing her hands up dramatically when she leaned back against the couch as if to get comfortable. Why Negan was seeing her truly drove him mad, but he was hoping that he would stop having these visions, not that she would keep coming back. “You make our daughter cry and I’m just supposed to keep my mouth shut? You’re really dropping the ball with Evie, Negan. You’re her favorite and you’re ruining her relationship with you.”

“I’m not,” Negan reasoned with her, noticing that Nathan was looking up at him confused since Negan was ultimately talking to thin air. Hopefully Nathan thought he was talking to himself instead of picking up on his weird habits. “I snapped at her one time. It was a mistake. It won’t happen again.”

“Right. Keep telling yourself that,” she put her feet up on the coffee table when Negan headed for the bed to sit down with Nathan. He wanted to keep working with Nathan, hoping to block out Y/N. “So you’re just going to let her cry in the bathroom?”

“I have two children. When she’s ready for me to talk to her, she will come out,” Negan reasoned handing over one of the toys that he had gotten with Y/N from that store from the night everything happened to Nathan. “I can’t stop paying attention to Nathan just because she’s crying. I also need to allow her the right to her privacy. She’s in the bathroom, she doesn’t want me in there with her.”

“She’s starting to think that Nathan is your favorite,” Y/N spoke up having Negan grumbling under his breath. “You’re barely talking to her and interacting with her. You’re spending all of your free time with Nathan. And when you are with her, she’s taking care of you. You’re not acting like her father, Negan. Being a father was the thing you did best and you’re failing.”

“No, I’m a good father,” Negan corrected, his eyes lifting up angrily from where he was seated on the bed with Nathan. “I’ve been spending all of my time with both of them. I’m being a good father. I’m looking for their mother and I’m doing my best.”

Hearing the sound of the bathroom door opening, Negan watched as Evie walked beyond the table instead of going back to her drawing. Sadness flooded his body when he saw her drop down on the opposite couch that he had been seeing Y/N on. Evie turned and faced the back of the couch after grabbing a pillow to hold onto it.

“You’re not going to go back and finish working on what you were doing?” Negan inquired, speaking loud enough to let Evie know that he was talking to her.

“It’s crap anyways,” Evie retorted with a sigh, squeezing the pillow tightly in her arms.

“I can’t imagine anything you do is crap,” Negan didn’t know if he should tell her that he looked at the drawing or not since she had run off after everything. “Do you want to show me what you were working on?”

“You don’t want to see it,” Evie replied back and Negan could tell that he had upset her. “Just keep playing with Nathan.”

“I’m sure Nathan and I would love to see what you were working on,” Negan suggested feigning a smile in hopes that she would look at him, but she wasn’t. Brushing his fingers through Nathan’s hair, Negan could see that Nathan was preoccupied with the toy Negan gave him and Negan stood up from the bed. Heading over to Evie, Negan knelt down and caressed his fingers over her shoulder. “Hey…listen…”

A long exhale fell from his throat when he tried to get Evie to look at him, but he could hear her crying still which meant she was fighting looking at him, “I didn’t mean to yell at you Evie, I was just…”

The sound of a knock on the door was heard and it made Negan huff out loudly. The person at the other end didn’t wait as the door pushed open, “What?”

“Gregory is going to be stopping by in about an hour,” Simon informed Negan, grasping tightly to the door while he stared out at Negan from across the room. “Apparently he has information about something that is going on with Rick and the rest of the crew. It’s life and death according to him. So I suggest you clean up and get ready because you are going to be at that meeting.”

“I’m kind of in the middle of something,” Negan declared with a frown hating to hear that he was being demanded of something when he was about to make up with his daughter. Well, at least try to. “It can wait.”

“No Negan, it can’t,” Simon snarled at Negan, moving further into the room when he threw his hands up in the air. “He said life or death. So I suggest you take it seriously because that means it could effect the lives of everyone here. Including your children. So if you care about your children, you will get up, get ready and be prepared for that fucking meeting in an hour.”

“Got it,” Negan grumbled under his breath. For once, this did actually seem like a big deal. Once Simon left, Negan looked back to Evie who was still facing the back of the couch. “Evie?”

“Don’t worry about it dad,” she whispered quietly, but he still managed to hear her. “You have more important things to deal with right now. Go do whatever you have to do.”

“Baby,” Negan frowned realizing that Simon coming in and telling him what he did wasn’t going to fix anything when it came to Evie. They should have been having a discussion where he apologized and she had his full attention. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” she was still hurt and Negan knew that.

“Listen. Daddy is gonna go get cleaned up for this meeting. After it’s over, how about while Nathan is taking his nap you and I watch a movie together? Maybe we can set this area up, get someone to make some popcorn for us. Get some snacks. What do you say?” Negan caressed over Evie’s shoulder, giving it a firm squeeze. “I love you sweetheart.”

“I love you too,” she breathed out with Negan leaning forward to press a kiss over her temple. He wished she would have said more, but he hurt her. There was no denying that.

Even though he didn’t have any passion in what was happening, Negan took a shower. Cut his hair. Trimmed his beard. Put on the leather jacket, slicked back his hair and pretended. He feigned that smile and that arrogance. He went down to that meeting and did what he had to do. He put on his show. That’s what he always did. But when Rick showed up? Well that’s when everything changed.

At this point in his life he had dropped things with Rick in the name of finding Y/N. But when he was shot in the leg and they shot out the windows of The Sanctuary. That’s when this became personal. That’s when he knew that he had to start focusing on finishing this war. Rick and his crew put his children in danger and Negan didn’t even know if they were okay.

Pacing to the side of the small trailer that he was trapped in, Negan felt the overwhelming heat surrounding him. Trying to look through the small cracks of the boarded-up windows of the trailer, he found himself in a sense of panic. He didn’t even know if his children were okay. And the last thing he did was hurt his daughter’s feelings. More than anything he was scared. Scared if he would make it back to his children. And he was left wondering if they were all right. Now, Negan was going to have to end this war once and for all before he could make the world right for his children. Because Rick made this personal when he involved his children in the danger he was bringing down on Negan and The Sanctuary. And he wasn’t okay with that.

----

Tags: @slutlanna976 @fuckthis-and-fuckthat @jennydehavilland @felicity291 @ibelongtonegan @smallsadjellyfish @labyrinthofheartagrams @msjamesmarch @thebeautysurrounds @hotfornegan @redmercysugar @caprithebunny @tuttifuckinfruitty @emoryhemsworth @a-girl-interupted @akumune @stoneyggirl2 @xsarcasticwriterx @haleygreen23 @xhannahbananax03 @sanctuaryforthelost @burningredaffair @killaweiser @dead-of-niight @ayumi-wolf @neganswoman @ravenrose18

[bellaireland1981]

Rescue Mission at the Hard Deck

Summary: You’ve been eyeing a certain aviator at the Hard Deck for awhile... and according to friends, he’s been eyeing you right back, neither making the first move. That is... until his friends leave him hanging and in need of rescuing and you have to embark on a rescue mission... at the Hard Deck. 

Pairing:  Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw x Female Reader, appearances by the Dagger squad, Penny and some OC friends. 

Warnings: None, Pure fluff. (Maybe slight mentions of anxiety/angsty feelings if you squint REALLY hard) 

WC: 3,397

A/N: I Do not own Top Gun: Maverick characters. All OC’s/Reader characters are my own. I do not give permission to copy or translate my work onto any other platform of site. Reblogs are always welcome! As always, THANK YOU to @beyondthesefourwalls​ and @waywardodysseys​ for always being willing to bounce ideas around with me and being my biggest encouragers with writing! You both are AMAZING! :) 

You were sitting with your friends off to the side and tucked slightly back from the pool table currently occupied by a group of regular aviators to the Hard Deck. It was a known hangout for Naval Aviators but your friends and you never let that deter your group. You’d stumbled upon the bar one of the first weekends after arriving at UCSD for grad school and had continued to come long after you’d graduated and started your career. Friday nights were Hard Deck nights. It was an unwritten rule among your friends. Lately, you’d come to look forward to Friday nights. Not only because you got to unwind after a long week of reading manuscripts and editing until you started to go crosseyed, or because you got to spend time with your friends… but because as of a few months ago, a new squadron of aviators had become regulars at the Hard Deck and one of them in particular had caught your eye. An incredibly tall, muscled flyboy with warm brown eyes, wavy sun kissed brown hair, a mustache that on anyone else would have looked stupid, and a penchant for Hawaiian shirts.

“So when do you plan on actually TALKING to him, Y/N?” Ashley asked. “You’ve been eyeing him since they showed up a few months ago, but haven’t made a move.”

“He’s been eyeing her right back,” Lia said laughing, “If it wasn’t so obnoxiously frustrating, it would be adorable.”

“Stop it.” You grumbled, “Nobody is eyeing anyone. Y’all are the obnoxious ones.”

“You, ma’am, are a liar!” Lia exclaimed, “And because you’re a liar, the next round is on you.”

“You both suck.” You grumbled, getting up to head to the bar.

You made your way through the crowd, pushing through people as needed to finally reach the bar.

“Hey, Kiddo” Penny greeted you, smiling, “Need another round?”

“Yup.” You replied, “Because my friends suck and conned me into this round.”

“How did you manage to let that happen?” She asked, preparing the drinks.

“I simply said that nobody was making eyes at anyone and got called a liar so had to buy drinks.” You complained.

“Sorry, Kiddo.” She laughed, “I’m with the girls on this one. You and Rooster have definitely been makin’ eyes at one another for weeks. I’m actually pretty sure there are bets on when and who will make a move first.”

“Are you serious?” You groaned, “Well, that’s embarrassing.

“My money’s on you, Kiddo.” She winked, sliding the drinks your way.

“You too?” You questioned, horrified. “Penny, as much as I love this place, I might need to find a new bar now.”

“You’d break my heart, Kiddo.” She said, then nodded in the direction of the piano, causing you to look over your shoulder to where Bradley was sitting down getting ready to play, “And his.”

“Y’all are the worst.” You said, gather the drinks. “Add these to my tab, please.”

You carefully carried the drinks back to your table to your friends, setting them down on the table. Your friends eyed you knowingly as you sipped your drink, watching Bradley entertain the crowd.

The following Friday night finds you once again at the Hard Deck. Your friends are running late though, so you’re sitting at the bar while you wait. It’s not overly crowded yet, but several aviators had found their way in after finishing up for the day. There were a few groups of civilians that had wandered in off the beach as well. Penny was serving drinks on the other side of the bar so you just sat and took in the crowd.

“You’re not normally at the bar.” An amused  voice sounded next to you. “And you’re usually here with friends.”

Turning you see the only regular female in the group of aviators that hang out by the pool table.

“Could say the same about you” You laughed, “My friends are running late so I decided to hang out here while I wait.”

“I’m Natasha.” She said, smiling, sitting on the vacant stool next to you, “Or Phoenix, which is what the boneheads over there call me mostly.”

“I’m Y/n.” You offered, “You’re a very patient person to put up with all of that testosterone on the regular.”

“I’m used to it.” She shrugged, laughing, “They’re not so bad once you get them under control.”

“Like wrangling a bunch of puppies?” You asked, “Are they at least housebroken?”

“Oh my God, I love you!” She laughed, almost snorting her drink, “You wanna join us while you wait on your friends? I’m guessing it would make one of those puppies very happy.”

“And here I thought we were on the road to becoming friends, Natasha.” You said, rolling your eyes.

“Oh come on,” She replied, “He’s never gonna get off the perch and make the first move, the man’s notorious for that. He’ll die on that perch. Help him out. He’s not good at reading signals… even when you’re clearly into him. This game of cat and mouse will go on for literally…forever.”

“There is no game.” You said. “He’s hot. Really. Fucking. Hot. I’ve seen the girls that hit on him and that he actually flirts with and I am not them. He’s kinda outta my league, so while I will happily look, I’m gonna leave it at that.”

“You’ve got that absolutely backwards, my new friend.” She said, “The offer to join us is always open.”

With that she headed back to her squadron, leaving you at the bar to replay the interaction in your head long after your friends arrived and you were once more seated at your normal table.

It was a couple of Fridays later before you were able to make it to the Hard Deck again. You’d been buried at work under manuscripts, working insanely long hours, and had had to fly home the week before for a friend’s wedding that you had agreed to be a bridesmaids in. Needless to say, you were more than happy to be back with your friends in your normal routine at the bar.

“Well look who finally decided to join us again.” Penny teased when you finally made it to the bar, having to push your way through the crowded bar. “Missed seeing your smiling face.”

“It’s good to be back, Penny.” You smiled back, “I missed you too.”

“Where’ve ya been?” She asked, pouring your vodka soda. “Have had a couple of inquiries on that actually.”

“Work has been absolutely insane, and I had to fly home for a wedding.” You said. “It’s just been a busy couple of weeks. What’ve I missed?”

“Just a sad flyboy.” She replied, nodding her head towards the pool table. You rolled your eyes but looked over to the pool table, seeing the group unwinding as usual. The man in question didn’t appear to be as sad as she made him seem. He was actually surrounded by a couple of very attractive women, a smirk on his face.

“Oh yeah, real broken up by my lack of patronage at the Hard Deck.” You said dryly, rolling your eyes again Penny, when you’d turned back around. “Start a tab, please? I saw the girls at the table.”

“Sure.” She said, “It’d be worth a closer look too, Kiddo. It’s not always as it seems from afar.”

“I’ll take it under advisement.” You said, “I wouldn’t place any more bets though.”

You headed over to the table by your friends, setting your drink down and sliding up onto the chair.

“I have absolutely missed this.” You said, “No more skipping Fridays.”

“How was the wedding?” Ashley asked, “You haven’t really said much about it.”

“It was alright.” You said, “Just weird to be back around everyone from high school. Definitely sucked to be single and fielding the ‘so when will you be settling down and blah blah blah’ questions from everyone. And to make it even more wonderful I ran into my ex.”

“Ouch.” Lia said, “How did THAT go?”

“Not great.” You simply said, “I ended up kneeing him in the dick when he got too handsy with me after one too many cocktails.”

“Damn, I wish I’d have gone with you!” Ashley exclaimed, “I always hated that asshole.”

“I wanted to do a lot worse than kneeing him in the dick after the way he treated you.” Lia agreed.

“I love you both.” You smiled, “Karma took revenge though. He’s literally working a dead end job back home and the girl he cheated on me with turned around and cheated on HIM with his best friend.”

“Good. He deserved that and more.” They agreed.

“The female pilot that’s usually with that group… Phoenix?” Lia said, “She was asking about you last weekend, I guess Hawaiian Mustache was moping pretty badly because you were gone again.”

“Natasha.” You said, “We talked a bit the week you were both late. She’s great. She invited me to join them while I waited for you both.”

“And you didn’t because…?” Ashley asked.

“Ashley, look at the girls currently surrounding him.” You said, “Then look at me.”

She glanced over, taking in the women trying to shoot their shot with the aviator. Turning back to you, she leveled you with an honest look, “Y/N, sweetie, I am looking, and all I’m seeing is a man trying to be nice but who is desperately trying to get clear from unwanted advances. His body language is screaming he’s uninterested.” She explained, “Look over there and you will see the tense grip he’s got on the pool cue, the stance trying to turn his body away from them, looking anywhere but at them, smiling politely but it’s not reaching his eyes… Sweetie, that man is super uncomfortable.”

“Sad really, because he’s got all of his friends who are supposed to be his wingmen in the air but apparently they don’t protect him on the ground?” Lia added.

You looked over, taking in the situation with new eyes. Penny was right… the situation wasn’t always as it seemed when you got a closer look. Bradley was clearly uncomfortable and trying to make it known but his friends weren’t stepping in and the women weren’t taking a hint. You hated seeing anyone put in situations they weren’t comfortable in and you weren't going to leave him hanging….even if rescuing him would make you extremely uncomfortable.

“Ok, I can’t watch that anymore.” You said, “I’ll be right back…. Just … promise if this gets too awkward y’all will come rescue ME?”

“Absolutely.” Ashley promised, smiling.

“We’ve got you.” Lia said, “Wait, Y/N, you’re going the wrong way!”

“I need reinforcements.” You tossed over your shoulder, heading to the bar quickly. You pushed your way through people, not willing to waste time.

“What can I get you, Kiddo?” Penny asked, “Conned into another round?”

“Nope. I need a shot of something strong STAT.” You said, “And whatever Bradley’s drinking. I’m going on a rescue mission.”

“You got it, Kiddo.” She smiled, pouring you a shot of tequila and handing you a lime to chase it with. You took the shot, tossing it back and popping the lime into your mouth while she grabbed a beer from the fridge for Bradley. “Here you go. Mission is a go.”

“Oh my God, I might throw up.” You grumbled, “I don’t do this kinda stuff, Penny! What am I doing?”

“I’ll let you in on a secret, Kiddo.” Penny said leaning over the bar, “My money was always on you. I have all the confidence in the world in you.”

With that you turned, taking the bottle of beer for Bradley and hoping the tequila kicked in before you got to the pool table. You had to push through people once more but you were a girl on a mission, tunnel vision in full swing.

Much too soon for your liking, you found yourself at the pool table and for the first time face to face with the man you’d been eyeing from the safety of your table for months. Taking a deep breath and putting on a smile, you handed him the beer and slid your arms around him, plastering yourself to his side. Sweet Jesus nobody warned you the man was this ripped under his Hawaiian shirts. You could feel the muscles rippling under your fingers when you rested your palm over his abs.

“Sorry I’m late, Babe,I got stuck at work.” You smiled widely, looking up at him and hoping he caught on. A surprised but warm smile spread across his face as his own arm came up to wrap around you, pulling you in closely.

“You’re right on time, Sweetheart.” He replied, his smile growing, “Thanks for grabbing me a beer, but where’s your drink?”

“I downed that before leaving the bar.” You replied, honestly, “Will probably need another soon. And you two would be?” You asked, turning your attention to the women who’d been making Bradley uncomfortable.

“Who are YOU?” The blonde with way too much makeup and clearly fake boobs asked, looking you up and down.

“The girlfriend, but who I am doesn’t really matter. What DOES matter is the fact that neither one of you can read social cues.” You said. “Because obviously, he isn’t interested in either one of your fake tit, dog tag chasing asses.”

“Excuse me?” The other one piped up, jumping in.

“No, I don’t think I will.” You replied, “Now take your Bitch ass selves away from here and next time, when a guy is literally trying to move away from you, doesn't make eye contact, is gripping the pool cue to the point it’s almost breaking, and looks like he’d rather vomit than talk to you… chances are.. He’s just not that into you.”

“Alright ladies…” One of Bradley’s friends…Hangman you think… finally stepped in, “Time to leave.”

You took a small step back from Bradley, taking a gulp of fresh air into your lungs, the realization that you’d really done that sinking in. The women finally stomped off, to the applause from your friends sitting at the table.

“Thank you.” Bradley chuckled, reluctant to let the beautiful firecracker he’d had eye on and been longing to talk to for months go now that you were right there. You felt good in his arms, and he about fell in love on the spot the way you’d come to his defense.  “I’m Bradley. Or Rooster.”

“I’m Y/N.” You replied. “You’re welcome. It was painful to watch, someone had to step in.”

“He’d have shaken them eventually”  Hangman said, rejoining after chasing off the women.

“But should he have to?” You asked, turning your body to face down the rest of the group now. Might as well go all in at this point. “Y’all are supposed to be a squad right? Does protecting one another only apply while flying at stupid high speeds? You’d think if you were friends you’d have his back on the ground too and realize that those women were making him REALLY uncomfortable. Hell, MY friends picked up on it from three tables over and were ready to come in guns blazing.” You turned back to Bradley offering him a small smile, “I think you need new friends. Yours are broken. It was nice to finally meet you though, Bradley.”

Turning, you headed back towards your friends, but then beelined for the bar again, in need of another drink. You had  a feeling at this rate you’d need to get a ride home with Ashley or Lia, or call an Uber if they couldn't drive either.

As you walked away to the bar, Bradley turned to look at his friends who all had looks of utter shock and disbelief on their faces. His heart bursting at your complete defense of him. Had Phoenix been there she’d have high-fived you. He couldn’t wait to call her and tell her what she’d missed. He turned back to watch you walk to the bar, a smile pulling at his lips. He was officially a goner. “I’m gonna marry that girl.” He said, turning to follow you to the bar.

“I see it went well.” Penny said as you got back to the bar.

“Vodka cranberry, please, heavy on the vodka.” You replied, plopping down onto a stool.

“You got it, Kiddo.” She laughed, pouring you the drink.

“If that’s your post game drink, what was your pregame?” Bradley asked, sliding up to the bar next to you.

“A shot of tequila.” You replied, peeking over at him. You were unsure what kind of ground you stood on now that’d you’d basically said his friends sucked. You weren’t wrong and you stood by it, but it left you very unsure.

“At least let me buy the post game celebratory drink.” He offered, flashing you a heart stopping smile, “You make a great wing woman, Sweetheart.”

“Thank you.” You said, feeling heat creep up into your face, “I’m sorry for calling your friends broken.”

“Don’t be.” He laughed, “You weren’t wrong. They do suck sometimes. In the air though, they really do have my back, I promise.”

“That’s good to know. I’d hate for them to leave you hanging when it’s really dangerous.” You said, “Although, those women looked pretty scary.”

“I’m really glad you came to rescue me.” He said, “Phoenix will probably never let me live it down… I’ve been trying to work up the nerve to come talk to you for a while.”

“Did you know there are apparently bets on how long it would take and which one of us would approach the other first?” You asked him.

“I did not know that.” He said, “But I can guess who started it, and you most likely already told him off once tonight.”

“Actually,” Jake said, approaching the bar cautiously, because honestly you kinda scared him, “I’ll have you know it was Trace that started the bet. So take it up with her. Also, Spitfire, you were right before. We let Rooster down as his friends and his wingmen. We’re sorry.”

“You don’t owe ME an apology.” You said, “I’m not the one you hung out to dry and let the vipers sink their claws into.”

“Damn, you really don’t hold back.” He laughed, “I think I like you… you scare me a little… but I like you.”

You simply stared at him, until he turned to Bradley, smiling and shaking his head.

“Rooster, man I’m sorry we didn’t intervene.” He said, “We were shitty friends and had we been in the air sure as shit wouldn’t have let that happen, shouldn’t have let it happen on the ground either.”

“Thanks, Hangman.” Bradley smiled, then looked over at you and winked. Satisfied you smiled and returned your attention to sipping your drink.

“So who won the bet?” Bradley asked.

“I dunno.” You replied, “I guess you’ll have to ask your friend Natasha. Penny told me she put her money on me though.”

“I say we find out who won and make them pay for our first date.” Bradley suggestd, looking at you hopefully.

“Is that your way of asking me out on a date?”  You asked, looking up at him, a smile tugging at your lips.

“Seemed fitting.” He replied, “I mean after all you’re my girlfriend right? That’s what you told those women… We should probably have our first date, if you’re already my girlfriend. Besides, we’ll need a good first date story to tell the grandkids.”

“We jumped from a first date to grandkids?” You asked, laughing, “Let’s just start with the first date, see where it takes us.”

“I’ll take it.” He agreed, “Any chance you’re free tomorrow night? Figured we’ve waited long enough.”

“I am.” You replied, smiling. “I think we have too.”

“Here.” Penny said, sliding an envelope across the bar in between the two of you, smiling, “Phoenix organized the bet, but I was in charge of collecting bets. And… I told you my money was always on you, Kiddo. First date is on all of us.”

Bradley opened the envelope and counted the money inside, laughing as he set it back down.

“Sweetheart, we’re going to have one hell of a first date story for our grandkids one day.” He said.

Taglist: 

@gracespicybradshaw​

@friendly-neighborhood-peter​

@oneelleandaneye​

@super-btstrash-posts​

@mygyn​

@emma8895eb​

@kitty-moonflower-blog

awesomebooklover17,

krismdavis,

Jayniebop,

Hisredheadedgoddess28,

jstarr86,

@cherrycola27​,

@harrysgothicbitch​ ,

@caidi-paris​

@senjoritanana​

@bethabear12,

@flyinlove

, fulla02 ,

@sophham​

@itsdesiree86​

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brooke-stinson

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@lunamoonbby​

[cosmitton]

seeing a cute boy outside of a restaurant at night

Johan Seong x F!Reader (foreigner)

A/N: I haven’t written in so long and this is the first thing I’ve ever written for Lookism, so I’m nervous lol. The reader in this is described to be a foreigner, but I don’t describe what she looks like, so I hope that’s okay. She’s based off of one of my Lookism OCs but I thought it’d be better to write it as a Reader instead. I also won’t be using (Y/N) or anything like that bc I think it takes away from the flow of the writing/dialogue. Also, I think this takes place a little after the God Dog arc where Johan’s on his own again.

It’s not really romantic in this, but I’m thinking of making this a sort of series of one shots with this Reader specifically. Please lmk if Johan is OOC, bc I’m not confident in writing him haha. Anyways, hope you enjoy! c:

The nights are still cold at this time of year in Seoul. Not that you can really feel it at this point from where you are, starting the process of cleaning up and closing the restaurant. After having been cooped up in the small kitchen in the back of the hole-in-the-wall building you work at, finally done cooking after several hours, the space is well and truly stuffy by now. You were even a bit sweaty, in contrast to the people you can see pass by the windows outside that are trying to stay bundled up against the wind chill.

“Alright,” your boss walks into the back to join you, “you’ve been holed up in here long enough, I’ll take care of this. You go deal with the front.”

As if it’s ingrained in his mind as instinct, he swats at your back with the hand towel he grabs before you can protest that you can do it yourself and he should rest. You laugh slightly at the older man, deciding that you’re too tired anyway to argue with him right now.

You leave behind what you were working on to go out into the front of house in order to count down the register and go about cleaning and packing up the floors and tables. You work silently, comforted by the sound of your boss cleaning in the back and the distant hum of life filtering in from behind the windows and locked door.

“Mr. Terrence,” you call as you walk toward the back doors, “I’ll take the trash out now.”

“Thanks, kid.” He replies as you grab the black bags in both hands.

It’s as you walk outside, hit by the cold and slightly regretting not grabbing your jacket first, that you see him. A slim, brown-haired boy sitting by the mouth of the alley between your workplace and the building next door. He’s curled up like he’s trying to hide, in a way, with his knees drawn up tight and facing slightly away from you. When you glance over at what he’s looking at, you see two small dogs not far from him.

You try not to stare as you pass by, but it is weird to you. There’s not usually anyone out here, especially at this time of night and in this weather – and if there is, they’re usually not here for any good reason. It’s not your business, you try to remind yourself, and you can’t afford to be getting caught up in anything bad that might be happening.

Although, that doesn’t seem right, either. This boy is just sitting alone on the ground, watching – presumably – his two dogs and still hasn’t even looked up at you. He doesn’t seem the type to be here for any salacious reason, which makes the only other conclusion that comes to your mind much more heartbreaking – he’s here because he has nowhere else to go. You could be wrong, but the way he was dressed (yes, he had a jacket, but not thick enough for this cold) and had only his dogs and a single backpack sat at his side just hit your instincts in a certain way. You couldn’t see his face, but he looked slim – probably not starving, but clearly not eating as much as you preferred for a young person to be eating. (Distantly, you think about how Mr. Terrence would make fun of you for thinking this despite the fact that you are also a “young person”.) His dogs also looked skinny, and even if you didn’t care about this boy, you couldn’t in good conscience let animals go without food.

With that thought, you made up your mind and quickly threw away the trash and made your way back into the restaurant to head straight toward the kitchen.

“Mr. Terrence,” your boss jumped as you burst back into the room again, “sorry. I was wondering if you finished packing everything up?”

“Nearly there,” the older man watched as you scuttled about the kitchen to grab a to go box from under the counter and start filling it with food. “Oh, no,” he scoffs lightly, “not another stray. If you keep feedin’ ‘em, they’ll keep comin’ back expectin’ more.”

“A stray and his strays, yeah.” You continue, ignoring his scoff because you know he could stop you if he was really that bothered by it.

“What?”

“Some guy and his dogs.”

“Ohhh~” you don’t need to look up to face him, because you can hear the smug smile in his voice, “a boy, huh~? No wonder you’re so eager.”

You resist the urge to fling some of the food at him, “shut up. You know it isn’t like that.”

He’s already stopped listening to you, having made up his mind about your intentions, “uh-huh, sure.”

You don’t bother to reply, finished with packing up the to go box now and not trying to play his games. You make your way back toward the doors, hoping the boy and his dogs hadn’t left already. He’s still there, thankfully, when you get outside – again regretting that you forgot to grab your jacket, but somehow remembered to grab the dog treats you keep in your bag for any stray you might come across – and still not looking up. You make your way over to the boy with your shoulders hiked up in a weak attempt to shield yourself against the wind, trying to walk around into his sight so that you don’t sneak up on him.

One of his dogs notices you first, a little thing with pink ears, and seems to watch your approach cautiously. The boy notices and whips his head around immediately, as if he was trying to catch you, and you pause for a moment at the way he looks at you like you might be a threat. He looks to be around your age, with a pretty face and puppy eyes, but he scowls at you in a way that makes him seem older – weathered and weary from past experience. Oof, you think as you try to figure out how best to approach him, a standoffish one, then.

“Hey,” you greet lightly, “sorry to bother you. I work at this restaurant and I was wondering if you wanted to take these leftovers off my hands so we don’t have to waste them by throwing them away.”

You don’t actually have to throw away the leftovers, of course, but you’re banking on him not knowing that because he seems like the type to not take handouts unless it’s phrased as if he’d be doing you a favor instead. Before the boy can answer, though, the dog with pink ears walks up to you first. You kneel down to its level, putting your hand out to let it sniff you before you try to pet it.

“Hi, puppy~!” You can’t help the high-pitched baby voice you use to talk to animals, it’s instinct at this point and you refuse to feel embarrassed about it.

The other white dog that’s wearing a sweater is still hanging back, looking like it’s shivering, but you can’t tell if that’s from the cold or if that’s just natural. You set the to go box down beside you, petting the pink-eared dog with one hand while you wrestle the dog treats out of your pocket with the other. The pup is fully excited now, tail wagging so hard that it’s almost throwing the dog off its feet, while you feed the treats to it, eagerly.

You realize that you pretty much forgot about the boy when his voice makes you jump, “her name is Miro.”

You look over, and he doesn’t seem to be scowling at you anymore, just watching you interact with his dog – still cautious, but not threatened.

“She’s cute,” you smile, “and your other dog?”

“He’s Eden.”

“Can I give him some treats?”

“He doesn’t like strangers much.”

“Well,” you shift slightly, waiting for permission to approach, “I’ll give them to you and you can give them to him, then.”

“Why?” He’s suspicious again - not in the same way that others here are when they see your face and know you’re an outsider - and you recognize it and it breaks your heart for him. (It seems a bit ridiculous for you to hurt for him, given that you don’t know him at all, but you do because you’ve seen it before and you know it at your core.)

“Because they deserve it. They all do.” You mean his dogs, specifically, but you also mean him and every other person like him.

He watches you for a moment more, and you let him, but he doesn’t respond verbally – just shrugs and makes the smallest movement of his head to nod. You grab the to go box again, dog treats in the other hand, and rise to move toward him. He rises too, probably more comfortable with being at eye level than sitting – just in case. Miro is following at your feet, and you stop with a bit of distance between yourself and the boy. You hand him the dog treats first, glancing at Eden shaking a bit behind him, and he stuffs them into the pocket of his jacket. You try to hand him the to go box and that’s when he becomes suspicious again – obvious when you look him in the eye.

“I know it might be an inconvenience, but it’d really help if you could take these. It just seems like such a waste if we have to toss them.” He doesn’t believe you, you know he doesn’t just by how he looks at you, but neither of you are going to say it aloud.

He stares at you for a moment again, seeming to battle in his mind over whether to take it or not, but the hunger that you’re sure he’s feeling seems to win out. He takes it from you and, despite how reluctant he was to accept it in the first place, he immediately holds it close to him and slightly away from you as if you’re going to snatch it back.

You want to say more, but you’re not sure what and you don’t really have any more reason to since you accomplished what you came out here for. You think to ask his name and give him yours, but you feel like you might be pushing him with that. So, with nothing else that you can come up with, you start to back away.

“Thanks,” you smile at him again and look down at Miro and Eden, “bye puppies~!”

You think anything else would bother him, so with one last glance at the boy – who seems to be waiting for you to leave before he goes on with whatever his plans are – you fully turn back to the restaurant and go inside. You wish you had gotten his name, or had some way of checking up on him and Eden and Miro again just to make sure they’d be okay, but you just have to accept that it’s left up to fate now.

Who knows, you might meet him again one day.

[beomcharms]

10:36 a.m - a time called you

pairings: popular!yeonjun x outcast!f.reader

warnings: angst, oc has a lot of family issues, oc is kinda inspired by maeve from sex ed, further parts may have more warnings, featuring taehyun, soobin, jin(bts) and ryujin(itzy), taehyun soobin ryujin and yeonjun are the same age in this fic :)

genre: romance, friendship, high school au

word count: 2.9k

a/n: idk if anyone on here remembers me 😭 but i used to be beomiecharms… umm i thought of reuploading a couple of my old fics because i just missed writing a lot and i couldn’t just leave without ending this series 😭 hope you enjoy! : send in an ask or leave a comment and i’ll add/remove you :)

taglist: @doumachi @baekberrie @shycreationdreamland @hyueika (dk if any of you remember me or this fic)

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“So have you decided on who to ask for prom yet?”

Yeonjun sighs at Soobin’s question.

“You still haven’t decided ?!” Soobin gasps “Dude you can get any girl you want why haven’t you asked anyone ?”

“I don’t know” Yeonjun answers, he knows but he doesn’t wish to say it out loud, knowing the others won’t let him hear the end of it.

“Ahhh it’s because of her isn’t it?” Taehyun asks.

Sometimes Yeonjun wished Taehyun weren’t so clever.

“Who? Who is she?” Soobin asks poking his shoulder and Yeonjun looks down at his food.

“You know the one, his Chem lab partner” Taehyun tells Soobin.

“Y/N?” Soobin laughs out. “What’s wrong with her? Why don’t you ask her then?”

“She doesn’t even talk to me how the fuck am I supposed to ask her to prom? And I’m not even interested in her like that, I just find her interesting” Yeonjun mutters.

“Oh please, I sit behind you in that class I see the way you look at her” Taehyun says.

“She is friendly enough to me. I have Bio with her. A little quiet and kind of standoffish but she helps me out whenever I’m in trouble” Soobin’s says thinking about his time with you.

“Congrats dude” Yeonjun sighs and looks over at you. “I once bumped her shoulder accidentally and I thought she might burn me down with the look she gave me”

Soobin and Taehyun try to hold back their laughter as Yeonjun longingly looks over at your table. You sit with Ryujin, frowning down at whatever Ryujin was telling you.

Maybe because you feel his gaze on you, you suddenly look at his direction and Yeonjun immediately looks away. He can tell he is blushing and he hates himself for the effect you have on him.

Even he couldn’t understand why he was so taken by you. You barely even looked at him and that’s not how things usually worked for Yeonjun. He is used to people liking him easily without even trying for it. You feel like a challenge to him and he hates it but also he doesn’t wish for the thrill to go away.

“Who knows maybe I will end up going to prom with her” Yeonjun says out loud.

-.-

You sit on your stool waiting for the teacher to come in. You had to work at Jin’s Diner today and to be honest you were looking forward to it. It was payday today and Jin always gave you a little extra cash, calling it bonuses. You knew it was mostly out of pity, but you were not proud enough to say no to it.

The guy sitting next to you keeps fidgeting in his place and you feel your patience thinning. You wouldn’t be sharing lab with Yeonjun if it wasn’t for Ryujin and her giant crush on Karina.

“Y/N, darling of my life, pleasee I’ll do anything for you” she had told you to get you to change lab partners with her.

A loud snap brings you out of your thoughts and you look over to see Yeonjun holding his goggles with a broken strap.

You close your eyes and take a deep breath.

Taehyun laughs out behind you. “Fuck what am I going to do?” Yeonjun starts panicking.

You sigh to yourself again and pretend like you can’t see him. Maybe that will solve your problems. You look down at your notes when you feel a tap on your shoulder. You knew this was coming. Sooner or later you had to engage with him. You had hoped that your cold front would keep him away for as long as possible. Guess it’s coming to an end today.

You look up at him and see his helpless eyes and your heart softens ever so slightly.

“Do you have a spare? Please? I don’t want to get thrown out of here” Yeonjun pleads with you.

Mr. Jung was the meanest teacher out of all in the faculty and gave detention even for the smallest errors and you felt a little sorry for Yeonjun.

“I don’t have a spare” you tell him, possibly the first words that has passed between you two.

“Oh” he looks down at his hands onto his broken goggles.

You contemplate for a minute before taking them out of his hands and Yeonjun looks at you surprised.

You take the safety pin you carry with you for emergencies and deftly pin the broken strap against the gap with the lens. Broken things weren’t new to you. “Bob the fixer” Ryujin used to call you.

“Try it on” you tell him handing it over to him and he starts fidgeting with the strap again. You feel a surge of irritation and take it out of his hands again, putting it over his eyes and fixing it around his head. Yeonjun looks down at you with wide eyes and you almost laugh out at how comical he looks.

“Don’t you dare take it off before the class ends” you tell him.

“Yes ma’am” he whispers at you. “Thank you”

You sit down on your stool again just in time to see your teacher walking in.

-.-

The buzzing lasted all throughout the class. It had started the moment you talked to him and only slightly lessened when you left your seat after the class ended.

He knew he looked a little ridiculous with his goggles on his face even during parts in which he wasn’t required to wear googles but he was terrified of it snapping again and earning his detention. He had to play today evening.

Thankfully Mr.Jung was in a good mood today so he didn’t seem to mind that one of his students had kept their googles on throughout the class.

Yeonjun gingerly takes of the goggles and looks down at your pin smiling at it.

“Aren’t you coming?” Taehyun asks nudging his shoulder.

“Yeah” Yeonjun grins at Taehyun who rolls his eyes.

-.-

“You make it sound as though she made out with you” Soobin mutters. “She just helped you out with your goggles, something a lab partner usually does”

“But she is not a usual lab partner now is she?” Yeonjun replies. Nobody could take this away from him.

“She is to me” Soobin reminds him.

“Stop it. Let him have his moment now” Taehyun reprimands Soobin.

They were sitting around in the stands after playing basketball. Yeonjun had played really well today and felt proud of himself.

“She is warming up to me, I can feel it” Yeonjun tells mostly to himself and smiles.

Soobin and Taehyun look at each other and sighs. If being deluded helped Yeonjun play better then they were not going to be the one’s to break it to him.

-.-

“Jin, this is too much, I can’t accept this” you tell him. In addition to your wages Jin had given you a bonus of thirty dollars and around four containers of food. He had made sure to hand it over to you only after the other employees had left. You were one of the youngest out of all of them and they usually had a soft spot for you which you knew would disappear if they came to know of Jin’s partiality.

“Ah just take it. It’s because you work harder than anyone else here” Jin insists pushing the containers onto your hands. In his eyes you were still the kid who had stood defiantly in front of his Diner asking for a job.

He had all the staffs he needed but looking at the hunger evident in your frame and the determination in your eyes, he didn’t feel like saying no to you. He also considered you his luck, because after taking you in, the Diner had prospered with customers and travellers coming in from different parts of the city.

“You know that’s a lie” you mutter at him.

“Just take it already, you can pay me back by working this weekend alright” Jin tells you.

“Why? What happened to Beomgyu?” You ask him curiously.

“He is going back to his hometown, hasn’t visited his parents in over six months now” Jin tells you.

You consider this. One weekend wouldn’t cover the help he has given you but you knew Jin wouldn’t let you work anymore than you already do.

“Okay” you tell him softly and Jin grins at you, ruffling your hair.

“Have you heard from her yet?” Jin asks you cautiously and your mood sours immediately.

“No” and that’s all you say before thanking him again and taking two containers in each hand and walking out of the Diner.

Jin watches your retreating form feeling sad for you. You hold yourself like nothing could ever get to you but at the end of the day you were just a kid, alone in the world.

-.-

Yeonjun pushes the candy bar towards you during class and you look up at him.

“For yesterday” he says smiling at you.

You regard him with a neutral expression. His new goggles hang around his neck and his fingers fidget against his legs as he looks at you nervously.

“It was not a big deal” you say picking up the candy bar and putting it in your pocket.

Yeonjun smiles at you again and you look down back at your notes.

“Hey um could you, you know maybe lent me your English notes?” Yeonjun asks you again. It had taken him a lot of courage to bring this up to you. He really needed to improve his grade in English and you were one of the best students in that class. Also, it would give him more of an opportunity to talk to you.

“Why? You can ask your friends” you reply curtly. You didn’t know what about him made ticked you off but something about the way he sauntered around like he owned the place irked you. Having confidence was one thing but he acted like he was above everyone else.

“Uh… I heard you make really good notes I’m struggling quite a bit in that class and your notes could really help me out” Yeonjun tells you. “Please” he adds.

“What’s the point of having my notes if you don’t understand what’s happening in class?” You ask him.

“Uh…” he trails off and Mr. Jung enters the classroom cutting off whatever Yeonjun was about to say.

-.-

The class had been extra brutal today. Mr. Jung asked many questions and you barely scrapped by. Ryujin received detention along with Karina and a few others. You looked at her and she grinned back at you and you fought back your smile. Love makes you crazy you think to yourself.

“So um I’ve thought about it and could you like maybe tutor me or something?” Yeonjun asks you.

You huff out a small laugh “And why would I do that?” Typical of him, assuming girls to jump at every chance to hang out with the famous Yeonjun.

“I could pay you for it” He tells you and you look at him. That has your attention.

Yeonjun seems motivated now “Yeah uh I can pay you for tutoring me”

“How much?” You ask him.

“Around twenty for an hour?” He tells you.

You bite your lip, thinking hard. It was a different matter now if money was involved but you couldn’t help but think that Yeonjun was hiding something from you. He could ask anyone else to tutor him and some of them might even do it for free so why you?

“Why me though?” You question walking out of class as Yeonjun falls into step beside you.

“Because you are the best in that class and I really need the help” he tells you.

You look over at him. He sounds sincere enough to you. You open your locker picking out books for your next class and Yeonjun leans against the other trying to catch your eyes.

“I’ll think about it” you tell him. This was way too sudden for you. You had barely one conversation with him and he wants you to tutor him ?

“Excellent” he grins at you as the bell rings signalling the end of your break.

-.-

“Having her tutor you is not the same as asking her to prom” Soobin tells Yeonjun.

“I know but I want her to know me better so that she would atleast consider the prospect before rejecting me without a second thought” Yeonjun huffs out.

They were hanging out at the cafeteria waiting for Taehyun to arrive and Yeonjun had told Soobin about his master plan.

“Besides I really need all the help i can get in English. I’m barely scrapping by” Yeonjun adds.

“I don’t think she is that dumb to not figure out you have something else on your mind” Soobin tells him.

“You make it sound as though I’m trying to get her to do drugs or something” Yeonjun replies growing irritated by Soobins pessimism. “And she hasn’t agreed, she told me she will think about it”

“Uhh I have a good/bad feeling about this” Soobin tells him.

-.-

“Y/N, just do it” Ryujin tells you. “He is willing to pay and you need the help” she adds not unkindly.

Ryujin is more of family to you than a friend. You had grown up together and while your other “friends” left you, when they grew older to realise your situation, Ryujin stuck by your side. She couldn’t care less about whether you were rich or popular or not and kind of accepted you and your situation like it was the most normal thing.

You sigh.

“Why me ? We barely even talk in class” You ask again for the hundredth time.

“Maybe because you are one of the top students in that class? Has that ever occurred to you?” Ryujin asks you.

“Uhuh… but i feel like he has some ulterior motive” you reply, still not convinced.

“If he does anything you can stop tutoring him” Ryujin shrugs her shoulders.

“Still… why me?” you ask again

“Godd Y/N, just take it or drop it. Geez” Ryujin finally explodes.

“Alright, alright I’m sorry” you tell her and Ryujin calms down.

-.-

It’s evening by the time you reach home, after work. You open the door to your home, well if it could be even called a home. It’s basically a studio with one bedroom in a small neighbourhood with a couple of other homes sitting right next to each other.

You take a look at your rations. Its running a little low on rice and oil but with Jin’s help you could survive. You have to save up for the winter if you wish to have the heater running at night.

Money was your main problem. The scholarship and government aid helped to pay for your school and your part time jobs and the allowance She sent made sure that you wouldn’t starve and the bills were paid. Still it was never enough for you to slow down and live like the rest of the kids at school, the worry of running out of it always in the back of your mind. College was another looming issue in your life.

Of course She played a big part in it but you rarely let yourself think of her. The pain was too much to handle. You wondered when she would make her next appearance.

You needed to take up the tutoring job. It would give you a small respite. Sighing, you lie down on your bed and something hard pokes you. Remembering Yeonjun’s candy bar, you take it out and take a bite out of it, the sweetness calming your body. Staring up at the ceiling your eyes land on the butterfly sticker she had put up for you when you were a child and you try to ease the pain that flares in your heart.

Mothers don’t just abandon their children.

-.-

The English test results were out. The teacher hands over your papers and you look over at Yeonjun. He holds up his paper and you can slightly make out the C on his paper. You look down at your A+, making up your mind.

“I’ll do it” you tell Yeonjun after class. “On Tuesdays and Thursdays, alright?”

“Yeah?” Yeonjun grins at you. “Thank you” he adds.

You nod your head before picking up your stuff and heading out to the hallway unaware of how happy Yeonjun is.

“Wait” Yeonjun calls out and you turn around to see him walk up to you.

“Where will we be studying?” He asks you.

You think for a minute. His house would be the reasonable option, but then there would be his parents and undoubtedly they’d ask you questions about your own. You’ve had enough of concerned adults in your life. They worry and fret initially and then grow tired of you after a while.

“My place” you tell him.

“Alright, but I don’t know where you live” he tells you.

“That’s not a problem. We will be going after class, you can come with me” you tell him.

“Okayy” he drawls out still smiling at you.

“Is that all?” You deadpan.

“Thank you” he tells you grabbing your hand and shaking it, taking you by surprise.

Across the hallway Soobin nearly dies from cringe watching his friends actions.

────୨ৎ────

🎧that’s the end of part 1, i hope you all liked this one and if you did please leave a like and reblog this fic it helps me out a lot xoxo🎧

[pursuitseternal]

“Cleansing:” bathing smut and surprises in “Our Blood is Thicker”

Astarion x Named Tav (F!OC) | E | 4.6K of the calm before the storm

Summary: Securing rooms at the Elfsong was the easy part. The harder part, overcoming the wash of memories from their separation before. They both need a good cleansing, one where they will indulge each other.

CW: angst, banter, bathing handjobs, I was told to “let them fuck like rabbits” which is implied, one more memory flashback, and danger.

Previous ch | ao3 link | Masterlist

Chapter 16: Cleansing…

💞🗡️💞🗡️💞🗡️💞🗡️💞🗡️💞🗡️💞🗡️💞🗡️💞

“Does it… have to be here?” Cordehlia turned her cute little nose up at the smell in the tavern. To the rest of her party, it just seemed like she didn’t enjoy a stay at a public inn.

To Astarion, now he knew, it was sheer loathing, disgust, and almost a century of pain this place forced her to confront.

The Elfsong.

“Gale said the keeper is giving us the rooms for free, since we…” Shadowheart whispered behind her hand, all sneaky, “know about the murder upstairs…”

“It seems cheap here,” she shrugged beneath her armor. “Seedy, disreputable.”

“Sounds like you’re describing your intended, Cordehlia,” Gale taunted with that friendly smile. Even though it didn’t meet his eyes. Still that lingering jealousy and doubt she knew.

“Please,” Astarion laughed off the slight even as he put his arm around his love’s shoulders. “I was the son of a High Lord once, Gale,” he grimaced at the name on his tongue. “Cordehlia’s right, however, a place for disreputable debauchery and plotting, the Elfsong,” he laughed with a wave of his elegant hand. “We will all fit right in, I’m sure. Besides, we can't beat the price, and I won’t be sleeping on the streets.”

“Well,” Gale grinned again, perhaps a bit forced, “Can’t argue with that. Keeper said up the stairs.”

The party moved ahead, barely noticing that Cordehlia lingered back, rigid in Astarion’s arm. “Why here…” she huffed. “Won’t the keeper recognize his regular?” she hissed with spite.

“Darling, I haven’t hunted here for decades. It’s not even the same innkeeper.” He placed a kiss on her temple, feeling how her jaw clenched. “Maybe it’s time we make some pleasant memories here… together,” he purred right into her pointed ear, tracing up its delicate point with a feathery touch of a single digit.

She giggled at the tickling touch. “Fine,” she huffed. “But don’t expect me to spread my legs so easily. You’ll need to work for it if we stay here, my love. You have many years to make up for, you know.”

“Oh I know,” he smirked, one hand sliding to pull her in for a kiss by gripping the curve of her ass. “I am well aware of that fact, and that you will never let me forget it, my darling.”

He followed her up the tavern stairs, letting her slip from his arm’s hold. Lungs burned as he held his breath, worried and plagued with his old memories of his place. He tried to force them back down in the dank dungeon where he kept all those feelings from his centuries of torment. From all the targets, victims, hazy moments of disgust he had endured. He could swear it made his undead heart rap with dread. Calmly, slowly he stilled his breath, even as it grew more rapid and ragged as he climbed those same fucking stairs as he had a thousand times before.

This time was different, instead of trailing after some miserable wretch, some target, all he could see was the sway of Cordehlia’s hips and the way her ratted, unkempt, fiery red hair matched that rhythm down her back.

That made the panic subside.

As long as he had her, he would survive this.

The hall opened to a massive suite, a grand chamber filled with a dozen beds and every amenity. It was off limits to the likes of him before; he had only ever been here once, fortunately not on Cazador’s business. That night was fuzzy in his mind, a jumble of fear and exhilaration he recalled, slipping in the shadows with his contraband before being compelled back to the palace. A few moments to himself to steal a moment of respite…

Shaking his mess of curls, he followed Cordehlia towards a corner bed, one tucked away at least a bit, a few slatted screens here and there for privacy.

He smirked as she set her pack down, her toned shoulders rolling themselves out finally relieved of its weight. So graceful and lithe, she made quick work of her armor, dropping back a step at last to see him waiting at the foot of the bed.

“Make yourself comfortable,” she gestured to the massive collection of rooms.

But he only slipped his bag from his shoulder, dropping it on the mattress beside her from a great height.

Letting it fall, his claim to her space.

“Oh, my love,” she tugged its great weight over the covers with effort, “this one is mine…”

“But darling,” he grinned, snatching the bag from her hold and letting it rest at their feet, “what’s yours is also… mine.” Growling that last word, he swept her in his arms, pushing her back into the feathered bed. She yelped and giggled as she fell to his attack, his thin elven armor flexible enough for him to cover every inch of her unbound body. He kissed her, there in front of them all, pushing her legs apart even covered in the light metal that clung to his frame. Her hands dug at the bare skin at his nape, lips dancing with his, all in time with the buck of her hips.

“Insatiable minx,” he rasped between her pumping lips. “Why do you pretend?”

“I’m not, my love,” she chuckled, “you can have the neighboring bed…”

He hissed at that, caging her into the bed all the harder. Mouth trailing quickly to her neck, he sucked on the supple flesh, the skin already scarred from his fangs, bringing her blood to pump there all the faster before he…

“Ah,” she moaned, her skin giving way to teeth, sending her right to the edge of her climax in an instant. He sucked loudly, lapping and popping his lips from her flesh just to draw attention.

“For fucks sake, get a room!” Karlach guffawed from across the space.

“We have one,” Astarion laughed, sarcastic and dark as he raised his blood-drenched face to speak. “You just happen to be in it.”

“In all reality…” Cordehlia pushed her palm against his turned cheek, shoving him up with all her might. “You stink, my love.” She laughed, managing to lift him only slightly from her frame. “You need a good cleansing bath.”

“Tch,” he huffed and frowned in indignation. “I would never say such a thing, even if it were true.”

She scowled, “How loving of you…” Teasing, with just that hint of sarcasm behind it, she doubled her effort, a smile on those rosy lips of hers before she braced against his neck and lifted.

Crimson eyes wide, Astarion smiled wickedly in return. Obeying. Relenting as he raised himself from her body, his own muscles ached to return, taught with the need to do what they always had done in this tavern, longing to fuck her until she was incoherent, this time for pleasure and not from coercion.

But instead he huffed, sliding the plates of his armor off, watching her bare feet tread across the wood floorboards. He could smell her, as he said. But it was more than pleasant. That scent of her sweat, the way her arousal’s musk instantly filled his nose the moment he bit into her neck…

But first, he gathered himself, glancing around to ensure a moment of privacy before he adjusted his growing erection at her scent still in his nose. “Fucking hells,” he groaned as he dug out of his pack to get his cleanest clothes, all the way at the bottom of his bag. Finally, he fought with all the trinkets and loot in his sack to pull out a fresh set of trousers, when something heavy landed on the floor with a thud. One delicate hand reached to gather it up next to his feet, the green, leather bound tome right in her pale palm.

Cordehlia narrowed her eyes at the title embossed on the side in gold. “The Curse of the Vampyre?” she scanned the book and then locked those silver eyes with his, questioning, mischievous and suspicious. “Some light reading while I bathe?”

“Just a little research, darling,” he slipped it from her grasp to tuck it in with his clothing.

“How to kill Cazador?” she speculated, turning to head towards the now-steaming tub in the side of the room. That look she threw him from over her shoulder sent an instant shudder of warm desire to his groin.

“I think I’ll follow my instincts on that one, my love,” he chuckled, dark and tickled with the promise of violence. “No, no,” he hummed as they stopped at the side of the tub, watching as she closed the slat-screen separator, just a bit of privacy despite the wash of voices that floated around the suite. “I’m just… preparing for what it might be, between the two of us.”

Cordehlia slipped from her trousers, that hem of her undershirt barely covering that sweet apex of her thighs. Astarion swallowed the huffing moan he could have made. “Hmm,” she tossed him a smirk before turning her back on him. That little cream shift tugged up over her head as she let her voice lilt and flirt, “and what might that be for us? An eternity in love as Mistress Cordhelia Ancunín?”

“Close, my darling,” he set his clothing in a jumbled mess at his feet. The clean ones, too. And Cordehlia rolled her eyes as she watched him. Arms crossed over her bare breasts, she gave him a rueful yet desirous smile. He made no extra show, tugging his ruffled shirt off from over his one head, juggling the book between his grip. “You see, there’s a difference for a Vampire Lord in the creation of their servants or equals, whoever they should choose to make their own… to make them powerful like them…”

“Whatever fits their fickle, half-formed plans?” she taunted, stepping herself into the water, dunking her long, gnarled hair into the water.

Suddenly, tenderly, two hands fished her long hair from the water. Cordehlia turned slightly, his smirking face grinning with total mischief as he used those skilled hands of his to work the snarls from the end of her hair. A little rose scented oil on the tips of his fingers, and he worked them each out. No noise but the rasp of his breath down the back of her neck as he leaned over the tub. Warm water barely heated his touch, the pads of his touch brushed her cheek. Her head leaned into his palm, but a gasp from her lips slipped out as she felt his other hand close around her breast. His teeth scored over the sensitive shell of her ear, a whispering laugh tickling the inside. “Who’s to say I would be fickle… or have half-formed plans, if I were a Lord?”

A fang dragged over the soft curve of her earlobe, making her sigh, half-swallowed as her back arched at the sensation. “So… if you turn… if you can ascend, that’ll make you…?” she whispered, voice thick in that milk white throat of hers as she turned, water splashing in that tub as she swiveled.

“Lord Astarion….” He sighed, an intense and dreamy look in the dark red of his eyes. “Vampire Ascendant.”

“Is that what’s in your book, my dear? Is that what you’ve been researching?”

“No,” he rasped, standing as he slowly brought his hands to the waistband of his leathers. Pale fingers slipped the small buttons barely holding it closed free one at a time. “If you can’t tell… it’s you and your wellbeing that’s on my mind, darling…” Hands tugging that flap apart, his cock sprang free, and he couldn’t help but give a low, rumbling chuckle as she bit her lip at its sight.

Cordehlia slid over a smidge, her own lithe fingers massaging through her damp hair. Silver eyes were locked on his every move, the way he slipped from those leather pants, the way he slowly sank into the waters beside her.

The way his own right fang peeked out as he chewed his lip and wrapped his arms around her body at last. “I’ve never met one before, never even heard aside from rumors of their existence among my kind. They are rarely created, the perfect match for a Vampire Lord, the perfect threat to them too. But they say there is no greater love than a trusting Lord and his loving… Bride.”

She shivered in his arms, shaking her whole body despite the swirling steam that surrounded them.

“That’s what you want… isn’t it?” he purred right into the folds of her ear again, a single hand stealing underwater to run down her belly. “To be mine… forever?”

Her mouth opened, he could hear it, feel it in her jaw, but no noise came out but breath. Not until he slunk two fingers between her thighs, finding the even warmer, wetter slick that gathered there.

Her legs bent under the water, feet braced on the side of the cloth and wood of the tub. But he slowed his hand, dragging a single fingertip, a single nail even, over that hard little clit of hers. “You have to tell me, darling, if you will be mine… no matter what…”

Her hand reached behind her, clawing into the mess of his own damp curls and slotting her body between his own clenching legs. “You know my answer. It’s the same. It’s unchanging. Constantly beating yes when it comes to you, Astarion, for two-hundred years.”

“I’m so pleased to hear it,” he hissed, gratifying the little bucks of her hips by sinking his long fingers deep inside her channel. “Best keep it quiet though, I would hate to offend the rest of our group’s sensibilities…”

“You would love to give them offense,” Cordehlia snarled back, pulling him by his hair to whisper back in his own ear. Giving him just what he gave her. “You would love to make me give little whimpers, make me moan your name just loud enough to have one of them chastise you, hmm?”

“For what?” he growled back, starting to pick up his pace as he stroked her and crooked his touch inside her. “For being the consummate lover I am? For making you, the great warrior, whine for me, my little pet and darling?”

A hand reached behind her, her fist closing firmly around his cock, making a noise not unlike a moan come from his own throat through his gritted teeth.

“So are you going to share your research…” she pumped him, hard in grip and slow in measure, as she rode his fingers. A smile on her face. “Going to tell me more about what you think might happen?”

“Three bites,” he panted, those fingers of his working inside her, determined to make her squeal and come first. “And then… I drink you almost dry…” His voice in her ear is feral, more monster than man, and Cordehlia shivered, rapture taking hold at his touch and words and… all of him.

“Go on…” she murmured, voice thick in her throat, even as he hand gripped tighter and sloshed more water as she tried to keep up with his own fingers fucking inside her.

“I give you my blood, letting it fill you and make you mine. They say it will be far more pleasurable than anything you have ever… ever… experienced.” He panted, her thumb sweeping right over that spot only she knew, beneath the dip of his head. His thighs clenched, his balls tightened. “Gods,” he groaned, too close now to back down.

“And then I would be your Bride?” she replied, trying so hard to sound perfect and calm, hiding her own approaching pleasure with a pressed and quiet tone.

He held his breath, scoring a nail over that patch inside her, the one he knew always pushed her, careening towards her climax. “Yes,” he finally ground the single word out, definitely louder than he had hoped. “You’ll be your own being, your own set of powers linked to mine. We will walk in the sun, share our minds, share every bit of pleasure and … pain.” He whimpered loudly, too loudly, as she tugged and fondled him mercilessly.

A knock sounded on the divider, Shadowheart’s lyric voice only a bit muffled from the other side. “Can you hurry it up? The longer you take, the longer the rest of us poor peasants need to wait until it’s our turn…. And we obviously need to get fresh water now…”

“Shut up,” he growled, that hand on his cock not slowing a second even as their moment was invaded.

“Shh, play nice,” Cordehlia corrected him, hand leaving his shaft for a moment to clutch those smooth, hard balls in her palm, tight and ready to burst any second now. “Two people in one tub deserve twice as long, logically. Give us five more minutes.” She called so politely.

Their cleric huffed and stamped away, but not before her fingers stroked that flushed, fleshy head in their touch. Once, twice more, she pulsed that grip and stars covered his vision. Coils of heat burst inside him, spurts of cum sullying the water, and best of all, her own cunt flared and clenched in time. Her freehand flew to her mouth, covering it tightly to not make a sound. But he had her, the extra oily slick of her arousal shot around his fingers, her thighs shaking in the water as she bucked out her climax on his touch. And just when she neared the supple pleasure after, fangs sliced into her.

Her shoulder was pierced once, twice, three times. Nips in rapid succession until the final one. That, Astarion let his teeth sink fully into the crook of her shoulder, savoring the sweet, almost floral bouquet of her blood on his tongue. Filling his belly.

Her head rested back against his chest, body limp and warm. A comforting weight against where his heart would have beat, a sad smile on his lips as he released from her neck. Tenderly, he didn’t want to disturb her, he nuzzled into her damp red hair. As he breathed in, that rose-scented oil barely masked her own floral scent.

He didn’t want to disturb her, but maybe she needed to know….

“There’s a bit more to the Dark Kiss… umm the way that a Bride is made…” He trailed off as she turned. Her face was lined with confusion as she wrapped her legs around him in the water, looking hopeful, worried, waiting on his every word.

Astarion sighed. “It’s a bit dangerous,” he continued at last. “Once you wake to feed for the first time, you… you won’t be yourself. You will be feral, ravenous,” he paused, realizing the weight of his words, “dangerous. I’ll have to subdue you to make sure we both remain safe…”

“Alive you mean,” Cordehlia nodded, sage and slow as his meaning took hold. She looked over his shoulder, eyes distant as she thought for a moment. “More than anything, Astarion, I trust you.”

He closed his eyes and pressed his lips tighter, hiding the way tears stung behind his eyelids and the way his jaw wanted to tremble.

“Besides,” she shifted closer to him, running a hand down the ridges of his belly to grip him by the balls again. “You will love the chance to subdue me for once, even if it’s in unfair circumstances.”

Astarion swallowed the grunt at the delicious pressure she put on him, turning it to a laugh. “You're no different you know, not letting me bend the rules so I can win, just like when we were children.”

“Never,” she shook her head, coy smile and flirtatious glints in her eyes. “I’ll never let you off free, not even if you are some exalted Lord.” Those lithe fingers clutched one more time harder around his manhood. “And you wouldn’t have it any other way, my love.”

“Whatever makes you happy, my darling,” he purred, still hiding that lump in his throat. That niggling guilt over what he had done before, now that he knew. Now that he remembered. “I’ll try to be worthy of all that trust you have in me.”

She leaned against his chest, arms wrapping around his neck to bring him closer. A tender smile turning one corner of her lips, she kissed him. “I know you will.”

There was so much to be done… but for this evening, for tonight, they all rested in comfort for once. Every other member in their group gave them a massively wide berth, treating them like newlyweds, letting them hide behind the dividers around their bed, ignoring the little noises that came from behind it. Only once a meal was brought out did Cordehlia leave their little hideaway, just long enough to avoid everyone’s knowing smirks and make a simple plate of cheeses and breads.

Then her bare feet hurried back, for a moment of silence before the subtle and constant rustling resumed from behind those partitions.

A few hours later, silence finally fell. Night in the city was still so loud, too loud. And Cordehlia just couldn’t trance no matter how hard she tried. Even as Astarion fell into easy rest beside her, one arm braced behind her head and the other resting on his belly as it rose and fell. He was comfortable here, his home away from her for almost two centuries. That old pang of bitterness flared in her chest, and she sat aright. All she could hear was soft breathing in the night.

She looked out the window, dawn just starting to break with light. Climbing from the bed, she slipped into her clothing, that fresh cream undershirt, sensible black leathers. She would be quick, that pain from her past pushing her to return one more time to that place where agony had taken root.

One more glance to his beautiful, pale, naked body resting in their bed, she kissed her fingers and pressed it featherlight to his forehead. She’d be right back. One last visit to his grave to close the pain of the past.

Boots on her feet, she reached for her dagger. Just the one, her most favorite, if only to make her feel completely dressed; it would just be a jaunt around the corner to the graveyard, a couple of turns in the safety of the sun before she would return. And after all the ways he’d had her last night, she was sure he’d trance his way through that time.

She stepped silently through the dim room, paying no heed to anything other than that door, than her mission to bid the past farewell for good.

Astarion turned in his trance, his sleep restless and uneasy, the memories of being in the Elfsong mostly inflicting those little cuts and wounds of torture from his past as Cazador’s spawn. Except that one time he had been in this suite of rooms….

His dream swept him back to that time, the way his feet hurried away from the other spawn sent there with him to hunt. That little piece of paper in his hand secreted beneath his arm as he hurried silently up the stairs, picking the lock quickly into this empty set of rooms. It hadn’t been hard to find a dark corner, a loose floorboard…

He didn’t know why it was so important to him, but he had known he wanted to keep it. Even if he couldn’t bring it back to the palace, even if he knew that stealing away from his siblings and coming home empty handed tonight meant a spell in the kennels and a session with Godey. His chest rose and fell with the thrill of insolence. That parchment, that news flier unfolding in his hands made him smile.

Eyes scanned the words too quickly to really take in the story, some account of a battle… some fearsome tale of this warrior goddess… All he could do was stare at the printed likeness of her face on the paper. Black and white, just ink and fading parchment, but he had wanted it. And when Petras had tried to tug it from his fingers, he had snarled and disappeared into the crowd. Now he could savor his treasure, enjoy his stolen goods.

She was alluring, that long hair drawn to tease behind her, that sculpted body covered in dark armor, her face hard and fearsome and yet… something about her lips taunted him. Coy and teasing, beckoning him to look closer.

And closer he did look. His mind had raced over the words, no memory of them now almost a century later… but he remembered clearly what he did with that image in those few stolen moments. How his cock had hardened instantly, how it had been only a few moments of rough and dry handfucking for him to come.

How he had wiped himself clean quickly, breathless from actual pleasure for once in his long, broken memory, before he stashed that flier with the pretty She-elf on it under the floorboard.

Astarion bolted awake at last. Hardly noticing he was alone, he scampered from the bed, tripping as he slipped on his trousers too quickly and scuttled across the suite to the opposite corner.

“What in the hells are you doing, Fangs?” Karlach huffed a laugh, amused and annoyed as she had to hurry out of his way.

He said nothing, fingers pulling the wood up to free that long lost, buried treasure. Flinging himself against the wall, he shook his head. If he didn’t have company, he would have, could have cried.

Victory of the Bone Picker.

Clear as the day that dawned outside the window, he finally took the time to look at the words. To look into the printed eyes of his love.

He knew, somehow all those decades ago, he knew.

“Damn, Fangs, is that Cordehlia?” Karlach peered from the other end. “You knew that was here… you saved it here after all this time, didn’t you?”

“I guess so,” was his honest reply. Those crimson eyes looked up wide and shining wet. “Where is she?”

Karlach shook her head, taken aback. “Isn’t she sleeping her climax marathon off in your bed?”

“No,” he suddenly went rigid. Standing, flying to his feet to peer around the rooms. “Has anyone see Cordehlia?” he couldn’t hide the desperation in his voice now.

Gale looked up from his book at that. “She went for a stroll early this morning, first light. I don’t think she saw me here… not that she pays me much mind at any rate…”

“Shh, shh,” Astarion hushed him right up once he sounded as if he would start another one of his diatribes. “Not now, Gale,” he snipped. “That must have been an hour ago already, so where is she?”

“You could always use our little friends,” Gale suggested, two fingers tapping on the side of his head.

“You mean reach out?” the Vampire frowned.

“Wouldn’t hurt,” the Wizard gave a terse reply. For once.

Astarion closed his eyes, feeling the waves of the tadpole’s power emanating from his mind, searching for the other end.

Something faint returned. A flash of a cemetery, a headstone with his name on it, and a pair of glowing red eyes and stringy black hair staring down at her before… darkness.

Silence.

Nothingness.

🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️🗡️

Our Blood will update again in 3 days, so your arms don’t get too tired hanging from that cliff 💞💞

[ashleyfilm]

Seeing Clearly - Chapter 5. Movie Night

Please leave comments, I'd love to know your thoughts. And if you feel inclined to reblog, that would be so nice.

Chapter Warnings: cursing - Minors - DNI

Characters: Jackson!Joel Miller x F!Reader Plus Size. F!OC was recommended to me since there's a lot of description of her but I'm writing her as You (Reader) so hopefully you can still imagine yourself. Black hair, glasses, tattoos, big body, wears dark clothes, won't stop talking. Joel is tv show Jackson Joel.

Story Summary: Joel just saved your life, begrudgingly. He doesn't know exactly why but he brings you back to Jackson and you ingratiate yourself into his very small circle and his life. This takes place after season 1 of TLOU and season 2 doesn't exist in my brain because no.

Chapter Summary: You start your job at the library, meet a new resident of Jackson and Joel takes you to the movies. 1.8K

Thank you to @saradika-graphics for the book line divider. :)

Chapter 1 Here Chapter 2 Here Chapter 3 Here Chapter 4 Here

Chapter 5. Movie Night

After stopping by the clothing swap, Joel walks you to the library in your “new” old black t-shirt, with the faded logo of Guns n’ Roses, one of your favorite bands from childhood, you can still remember most of the words to the entire Use Your Illusion II album. Your eyes lit up when you found it and it actually fits you, even a tiny bit loose, your favorite. Joel couldn’t help the smile that formed on his plush lips seeing you full of glee, like a child that never went through any of this shit. At the library, you meet an older gentleman named Doc, long grey hair, warm smile and a sparkle in his eyes. He’s hoping to retire this year and you’re just in time to learn the ropes and take over. He walks you through the stacks and what he’s been able to do with the last three years he’s spent there. Organizing, cataloguing, working out distribution to the townsfolk. He even encourages you to suggest your own ideas on how to facilitate the place. You take your time walking around and looking at the books, all in various stages of use, but mostly well held up. Sometimes there are even multiple copies of something where the beginning is in one and the end in the other.

It's magical, being surrounded by all these stories, all these means of escape. And you haven’t even gotten to the VHS tape section with the movies. You grew up going to the video store every Friday with your parents, picking out something for them and something for you. Sitting in your room and watching the stories unfold before your eyes. You even worked in a video store before the outbreak, studied filmmaking in school. This place is already healing you. You can feel it. “Ash, got a visitor here, needs help finding something,” Doc says to break you from your reverie. You walk to the front desk and find a young man, probably in his early 30s, blonde hair, average height, good looking, but kind of like the asshole in your high school that’s on the soccer team and makes fun of you in front of his friends. “Ash, is it? I heard we had a newbie in town. I’m Ryan, nice to meet you,” he says as he takes your hand and gives it a squeeze. You still at the touch, people don’t really touch like this anymore and you haven’t been touched since you got here except for Joel and that was …different.

“Hi, uh, what can I help you with?” You say curtly. “Well, I’m looking for something to read, maybe something sci-fi, think you can help me out,” he says with a smirk. This guy isn’t here to read, he’s here to get the info on the new girl, ugh fuck off. “Um, sure, follow me.” Even though you’re new, you’ve quickly made a map in your head of the library space and the way Doc has taken to organizing and grouping things. You head straight to fiction section, which is currently just by author last name, you’ll change that. Wanting to get this over quickly, you look for H.G. Wells, and find The Invisible Man and hand it to the guy. So, Brad or whatever the fuck his name is will get away from you. “A Grotesque Romance,” he says reading the subtitle on the cover. “Interesting choice,” again with the smirk. “Yup, hope you enjoy it,” you say not really looking at him anymore. “I’m sure I will,” he says looking your body up and down. “See ya around, Ash.” You smile quickly and turn to walk away. Well, that’s the first person you’ve met that you immediately dislike, you guess it was bound to happen in a town with this many fucking people. A very obvious downside.

At the end of your shift, you say goodbye to Doc and start on your walk to the dining hall that will be turned into a movie theatre for the evening for a viewing of Jurassic Park. Your tote bag, courtesy of your new boss, filled with three books. Carrie by Stephen King for you, a graphic novel called, Somewhere in the Stars for Ellie, and No Country for Old Men by Cormac McCarthy for Joel. You wonder if he’ll like your old man joke or not. And like you’ve manifested him; he’s standing outside the library leaning against a lamppost, waiting for you. He’s stunning, standing with his arms crossed against his chest, in a green flannel with red lines and the sleeves rolled up to reveal his thick forearms and his hair wet and slicked back. And he’s there for you. He looks up and notices you walking towards him, you bite your lip to try and hide your smile. “Well, how’d it go?” He asks with his mouth in a line but his eyes, they’re different, warmer. “Good,” you answer, “Doc’s really lovely and it’s amazing how many books you all have.” He watches you speak, and you think he might see something new, and you feel it too, invigorated. You begin to walk in step with one another to the movie night.

“I got Ellie something,” you say as you dig into your bag and retrieve the graphic novel, handing it to Joel. He smiles warmly, probably thinking of Ellie and says, “She’ll love this.” After he hands it back you put it away and reach for the book you got for him, “And this …is for you.” Your hold your breath hoping he likes your choice. “Old Men, that a crack on me, sweetheart?” He says with a chuckle. Sweetheart, he just called you sweetheart. He continues, “Thank you, that’s real kind. Always wanted to read this one, never had the chance, always workin’ too much before everything happened.” “Good, well now you can.” He hands it back and your fingers brush just slightly and like this morning you feel a bolt of electricity run through you. You look away and hope he can’t see the blush on your cheeks.

When you walk into the theatre together, quite a few people look your way with curiosity. You don’t know if it’s because you’re new in town or because you’re with the big, bad Joel Miller. But soon, you don’t care because you smell the popcorn and hear people laughing and see the big projector screen. And you almost sob right then and there. Joel’s watching you in wonder. He lightly touches your shoulder, leaning in close he whispers, “Go pick out a seat wherever you want, I’ll get us some snacks.” A shiver runs down your spine and he’s gone. You find what you deem the perfect seat, close to the middle and along the center aisle. You see Ellie who gives you a wave and wanders after a pretty, dark-haired girl around her age. She looks so happy, and it makes your heart clench in your chest. You start to worry how much you’ve gotten comfortable here, it’s a lot so soon. And you worry that it could all be taken away, like everyone and everything in your life already has.

Before you can spiral too far into your mind, Joel sits next to you. “You couldn’t pick a place a little less surrounded by people?” he says with a grunt. “Hey, you said anywhere I want,” you pout at him. “That I did, I guess I shouldn’t leave it up to you next time,” he says with another hint of a laugh. Did he say next time? Did you really hear that? The movie starts to play, and you and Joel share popcorn, he holds it for you and offers it over to you every couple of minutes. You hear the music by John Williams, and it takes you back. When you were a little girl and your parents would sit you between them and watch you as your eyes lit up taking it all in, so enthralled. Popcorn now long forgotten, it comes to one of the parts you’ve never forgotten, when the girl, is about to fall through the ceiling and the velociraptors are underneath her dangling body and they snap at her legs. You jump out of your skin and grab onto Joel’s hand. After the jump scare you start to laugh, still holding onto him, then you look over at him and he’s already looking at you, a soft smile on his face, until both your smiles fade replaced with a longing gaze until he drops your hand and turns back to the movie. You worry you’ve gone too far, asked for too much, too soon. You clasp your hands back in your lap and try to enjoy the rest of the movie in silence.

As the T-Rex screams and the banner falls, the room is filled with applause. Everyone loved this movie; it didn’t matter who you were. The lights come on and everyone begins to make their way out into the night air of Jackson. Joel says he’s going to find Ellie and for you to “stay put.” Eyeroll. Unfortunately, that’s when Brad or whoever the fuck from earlier decides to come and say hello. “Hi there, Ash. How’d you like the movie?” he says while again looking you up and down. “It’s great, one of my favorites but I guess you weren’t born when it came out, huh?” You don’t even know if it’s true you just want to infantilize him, so he’ll go away. Instead, he laughs and touches your arm, “You may be right about that one.” Suddenly, Joel is back at your side with Ellie, “Time to go.” He says to you gruffly. Ellie is looking between you, Joel and what’s his name wide-eyed like she’s waiting for fireworks or a fight to break out. “Oh, hey Joel, I didn’t know you knew our girl, Ash here,” he says with a smirk, looking only at you. “She’s staying with us, Ryan.” Joel says, fist clenched at his side. Ryan, oh that’s his name. “Okay, well maybe you can save me a seat next time, Ash,” Ryan says with a tip of his hat gesture, the dumbass isn’t even wearing a hat. Idiot. “Bye,” you say as you turn to walk after Ellie and Joel. Ellie hangs back with you as Joel darts off ahead of you. With a grin Ellie says, “What was all that about, huh?” You look at her with a disgusted look on your face, “I honestly have no idea.” Over the next several days, you avoid Brad/Ryan like the plague. Haha, plague. And sadly Joel barely speaks to you, but he does leave out your wolf mug by the coffee machine every morning.

[cookie-crumblr]

Hype Train!

F!Streamer Reader x M!Yandere Streamer OC

Part 4~

His Info: 📹✨

Part: 1 2 3 4 5

!!!MINORS DNI!!!

CW: WHOLE PART IS NSFW, !F reader, use of she/her when referring to reader, reader has a vagina, pet names not from ML (doll, ), SA!! NOT BY ML, assaults, NON CON NOT BY ML, Murder, gore, possibly angsty?, fingering, p in v, pet names (pretty, good girl, pretty girl, ) creampie, praise, lots of consent checks! long azz smut, probably my favorite work so far…👉👈

“Thank you all for coming again!!! I had so much fun tonight! we’re gonna stream again tomorrow and if not then the next day I promise!!! See y’all later and shower this next person with love!!!” You type out a raid message for everyone to copy, and click raid now.

You sigh as you take off your headset.

At least you feel tired enough to sleep now.

*loud knocking*

“C’mon!!! Seriously??” You know who it is before you even answer.

“Hello, Jared.” your voice is deadpanned and your expression unimpressed.

Although… You haven’t had a good fuck in a while…

Not that Jared is a “good” fuck. He’s at least got the equipment for the job.

“Doll, you know, I’ve been thinking about you again, just let me in to explain,” He says seriously and tries to push past you to inside your apartment.

You immediately block his path. “Excuse you. I don’t care what you’re thinking about. And I was gonna let you in, but now that you just tried to barge your way in, I’ve changed my mind. Get out of here.” You slam the door hard toward the frame.

His hand comes up, “Listen to me, bitch. I said I was thinking about you. Listen to my explanation.” He demands, his foot in the way of the blue painted wood.

Your heart races… No. Not this again.

You didn’t even notice at first the smell of it on his breath.

He’s been drinking.

You aren’t surprised or disappointed.

You are however, afraid.

“N-no… I-I don’t have to listen to you. Not now, not ever.” you remain firm. “Leave, o-or I’ll… Call the cops.”

“Hah. Like that’ll save you, doll.” He pushes the door open and throws you against a wall.

Your skull hits it with a loud *THUD*

shit, shit, shit, SHIT!

what do you do?!

Your cat runs and hides under the bed in the other room.

Thank goodness, at least Opal won’t get hurt by this maniac.

You struggle and put up as much of a fight as possible, but he over powers your every attemp.

You eventually just stop.

You turn your face, he pulls you back.

You squeeze your lips shut, he slams your head back so you gasp and let his tongue violate you.

He strips you, and throws your body, stomach down, onto the couch.

You try and crawl away, and he just pulls you back.

“No! PLEASE!!!!!” You cry out, your voice not even sounding like your own anymore.

Flashbacks to your time in the pit resurface again, forcing their way into your head while he forces his way into your body.

You cry and plead, he just punches and bites you where ever he can.

All you can do is cry now.

“Bite the pillow, bitch!” he yells into your ear.

You wake maybe thirty minutes later with his weight on top of you.

You manage to roll out while he’s in his drunken coma.

You hope while you’re at work he just… leaves…

He usually does.

The shower you take doesn’t help you feel any cleaner.

Tears don’t even threaten your numb body anymore. You’re embraced once more by the hollow feeling you’ve gotten accustomed to.

Do you even remember feeling safe only a day ago?

It feels like it was simply a dream at this point.

Jasper opens the unlocked door you left and sees the naked man on your couch.

His pupils once again blown with a familiar rage.

He drops his bag loudly onto the ground.

The man sits up, covering his exposed lower half “Who the fuck are you? You, freak! Get out!” He yells.

Jasper reaches into his pocket, pulling out a syringe.

“W-what the fuck man, what is that?!”

Jasper steps forward, and Jared jumps up to meet him.

“Get away! Freak! I’m warning you!” Jared lunges, knocking the syringe from his hands

Jasper then kicks his legs out from under him.

He falls to his knees, seeing the syringe near the coffee table, he reaches for it.

Jasper stomps down onto his veiny hand, breaking bones.

He screams, “WHAT THE FUCK?! Who the HELL do you think you-”

His sentence is cut off as Jasper crunches his hand, grinding it under his boot. “AHHHHH!!! OOWWW F-FUCK!!”

He grasps his scalp with fist fulls of sandy blonde hair next, and hovers it up over the corner of the coffee table.

Jared tries to pry the black boot off of his hand, as his eyes widen in fear looking at the metal edges.

“What the FUCK man!!!! This isn’t a joke! STOP!!”

Jasper smiles grimly, leaning down closer to him, “Oh, you want ME to stop? What about Y/N? Didn’t she ask you that?” he hums sinisterly.

“Th-That’s different! chicks always say-” he’s cut off again.

“Say what? Say No?” He barks out a cruel and unforgiving laugh.

He’s tired of this animals voice.

“Bite the metal, bitch.” He slams his face repeatedly into the corner of the table.

He gurgles and coughs, as his face swiftly becomes a bloodied, unrecognizable pulp.

You sigh. Climbing the stairs grudgingly.

You threw up at work again and they forced you to go home.

You’re so emotionally stressed, your body has started to try and rid you of it physically again.

You hear something strange, but you can’t yet tell what it is. You’re too worried how your gonna pay for next months “protection” and make the rent on time…

Your door isn’t locked still. No point, you thought.

Jared leaves it unlocked after he leaves anyway.

At least he doesn’t have a key.

The noises are coming from inside your appartment though… Is he… Hurting Opal??? You burst through the door, “Jare-” Your eyes widen, as you study the unknown man hovering over a bloodied Jared…

You go to scream, and Jasper rushes at you covering your mouth with his hand.

“Wait! Y/N!”

You’re trembling, but you recognize him by his voice now.

He removes his hand, and you speak quietly, “Jasper?”

You slowly close the door behind you…

“W-what is…” You don’t need to finish that, you know what’s happening.

“Wait! Y/N, I’m not… uhg… I didn’t think you’d be back so soon,” he doesn’t move anymore toward you, he just looks over the body.

He’s not attacking you.

Your brow furrows, maybe you don’t know…?

“What are… You doing? why? I’m so…” confused, but you can’t speak anymore, before tears start falling again.

Jasper wraps his arms around your shaking form, in a loving embrace, not like one of someone that wants more.

You squeeze back… You don’t know why, or how, but you know he doesn’t mean you harm.

“Jasper, whatever you’re doing, please stop… You’re.. Going to get into so much trouble for… This, a-and I’m not worth the trouble…” You shakily push through the tears.

He holds you tighter. “You are, Y/N, you are.”

“You don’t understand, I’m in a lot of deep shit right now… People are… after me. People are using me. People are-”

He kisses you.

Nobody’s ever tried to protect you before.

How did he even get here?

Maybe one of the questions you should be worried about…

How did he know where you are? Is another.

But your too overcome with emotion to think any rational thoughts right now.

Your arms travel upward, twisting around Jasper’s neck.

He picks you up by your sides, your legs hook around his waist.

He carries you to your bedroom, and lays you gently on the bed.

You’re still crying, and you continue to embrace him.

His hands wander down to your crotch, he pulls away to look into your eyes, “May I?”

Through blurry eyes you nod, and push forward to kiss him again, harder than he did.

His lips push back into yours, he sighs through his nose.

His fingers hook under your panties and pull them down your legs.

You help kick them off.

He finds your slit and slowly strokes up and down, covering his fingers in your slick.

You moan into him, nothing has ever felt this good, and he hasn’t even started.

You might come already…

Your legs snap shut, locking his hand in place.

He pulls his face back again, studying yours, “It’s okay, just relax, and let it out, pretty…” he coos, his face burying into your neck now.

You shiver, feeling his tongue and his hot breath against your skin.

He smells so nice.

like fresh air.

You slowly try and relax your legs, opening just enough for him to move again.

He tweaks your sensitive bud.

“Mmmm!” You bite your lips hard, your brows so tight together your face almost hurts. You’re holding your breath too and you don’t even notice until your lungs burn.

“shhh. Shhhh, it’s okay. It’s okay,” he shushes you sweetly. “You’ll be okay. let it all out, f’me”

“J-Jas-perrr…” Your body quakes with your first orgasm.

Nobody’s ever made you come before. It’s almost painful it feels so good.

Your legs snap shut again, and he chuckles quietly. “There, there, Y/N, you did so good, you’re such a good girl,” you feel his smile against your neck. “Can i have my hand back though? I need to do this for you, I wont be able to fit, and I don’t want to hurt you,”

You relax as much as you can, straining yourself as you do. He waits patiently, smiling as you try. you manage to open wider for him than last time, your body still shaking.

From the orgasm yes, and also from fear.

Not from fear of him…

You’re just…

Afraid.

You feel so safe right now, you actually feel fear. You’re terrified. and you don’t know exactly what of.

Maybe you’re afraid of letting your guard down for the first time.

Tears are streaming down your face more rapidly now.

You choke out sobs, “Jas-per… Jas…p-per…”

“Shhhh shhhh, it’s okay, i promise, it’ll be okay, pretty, pretty girl.” His thumb oh so gently circles your clit, barely touching you, he can tell how sensitive you are and doesn’t want to overwhelm you.

He kisses your neck, and dips a finger into your quivering hole. You fight the urge to once again, snap your legs shut, instead trying to spread wider.

“That’s it, you’re doin’ so good f’me,” he kisses you again, even more gently than the last time. “I’m so proud of you,”

You’re biting your lips harder, as more and more tears and sobs leave your body.

He very slowly dips another finger in.

Even after last night the stretch is hard to take at first.

You draw blood from your lips, and his other hand leaves your body to find your mouth, “here, bite me ‘nstead, pretty. I don’t wanna see you hurting’.”

You clench your teeth before you give in, you don’t want to hurt him either, so you instead use your hand to angle his fingers to your lips… You start to suck gently.

“haaaaa” he sighs so contently into your neck, the air tickles and you smile around him. You actually smile!

“I’m so, so proud of you, you’re doing so well,” his voice never raising more than a soft whisper.

Your hair is soaked with your tears now, and your wetting the pillow.

“hmmm” you hum, sucking and licking his fingers.

His other ones remain occupied gently scissoring your open.

Your body shakes as you come again.

“mm-mmmm!”

“That’s it, that’s a good girl, come f’me again, pretty,”

You open wider still, his thumb pulls away so you can come down without over stimulating you, while his fingers continue to work you’re tender quim.

Your brows peak and you squeeze your eyes shut.

He pulls completely away from you, and licks the fingers that where just inside you.

“Here” he says softly, “lemme help you, one second, pretty,” he rips the bottom of his shirt, pulling around his torso.

The sound scares you a little, but you trust him.

“May I?” he hovers it in front of your face looking deep into your eyes for your permission again.

And again, you nod, a little more eagerly this time.

He gently ties the black fabric around your eyes, careful not to pull your hair, or get it stuck in the knot.

You strangely feel more comfortable and your legs relax more easily now.

Your eyes also relax, and you sigh out, You breathe better surprisingly.

“I’m going t’ touch you again, okay?” He waits for you to nod before running just the tips of his fingers all the way up your legs.

They slowly caress you going up to the hem of your shirt, and you feel them tug gently. “m‘kay, pretty, I’m gonna take this off of you too, will you let me see you?”

You ferociously nod this time, trying not to but your lip, remembering before.

“so precious, thank you, pretty…” He slides the fabric slowly up, his fingertips still brushing against your soft skin.

He takes it off of you without touching the blindfold.

You still have a bra, and a skirt on. “W-wait!” you speak up, and he halts completely, a little surprised, but not at all upset.

You sit up so that you can reach behind you and unhook the bra. You cover yourself as you remove it, and your face heats up as it sets in that you’re willingly exposing yourself to someone.

“You’re wonderful,” he whispers awestruck, “So very wonderful. Will you let me look at you?”

Slowly you nod your head, and slowly you remove one hand, then the second. Your fists are clutched so tightly your knuckles have turned white. You turn your head, embarrassed.

“It’s okay, c’mere,” he gently takes your chin into his hand and turns your face back to him, his lips capture yours.

The love he feels pours freely into your soul.

One hand now cups your bare breast, and massages you tenderly.

“mm,” quiet moans leave your body for his.

He continues to kiss you and fondle your skin, his fingers move further up and stop to pinch your nipple.

“Mmm!” you’re surprised by the feeling but it’s so good… Your core heats up to extreme levels.

You rub your legs together this time for more friction, rather than to hide.

He pulls back with a smile. “You’re so perfect.” he says breathily, enraptured by you.

The hand under your chin moves back down ghosting over your body so you know at all times where it’s at.

“Haaaa” Your body twitches as he moves over some spots. “mM!”

“shhhhh, shhhhh, it’s gonna be alright. I’m gonna make everything all alright.” his already soft voice gets even softer with every one of his guarantees.

“O-mmm!-kay” you breathe out effortlessly, finding your voice, and still feeling the pleasure building in your core.

His fingers split into a “v” as they encase your clit and push down, then close slowly as they slide back up with the same force.

Your hips buck up, “Ahh!! mmmm! oh no! no…” you whine.

His smile softens, “do you want me to stop?”

“No! P-please… D-don’t…” you shake your head and grab his arm with both hands.

He dips back inside of you before dragging them all the way back up and he repeats this until you climax again.

You shudder out a sigh, “Th-thank youu…” You whimper.

“Thank you, pretty, you’re givin’ me s’much”

He repositions you both so that your legs fall on either side of him.

You feel him lift your thighs and press them not too uncomfortably closer to your body.

“I’m going to enter you now, is that okay?”

You nod vigorously, “Mmhm! p-please…” You cover your lips with your hands, he lets you, smiling as he admires your every move.

You feel his hot, spongey tip press against your hole. You brace. then he slides it up your slit, before he taps it to your clit. You jump a little and smile back while biting your lip gently this time.

“Good, you’re doin’ s’good f’me” his hips roll, sliding his burning cock up and down your folds.

Your hole twitches around nothing as you come again, as you do he guides the tip into you with an almost *pop*

You inhale while he exhales, both moaning at the sudden sensation.

You squeeze him as your pussy twitches involuntarily. He holds himself there, and presses his hand to your stomach, resting his thumb over your clit.

As you come down he rubs in circles, he slides in at the same time, letting you adjust to his size as he goes.

He bottoms out and you feel fuller than you ever have in your life. “Such a good, good girl.” his voice is a little more strained now, he’s feeling the pleasure just like you are.

His tip kisses your womb.

Gently he pulls out a little bit, before pushing back in, kissing your womb again.

“I’m-gonna cum inside you. Do you want that?” he circles your clit at an even pace.

“Mhm!”

“Use.. Your words, pretty,” he sighs blissfully.

“P-please, Jasper! Cum inside me!” You’ve never wanted anyone to until today. And you want it right now more than anything else in the world.

“Of course, I’ll—fill you up, pretty” He leans down over you and grabs the headboard for more stability.

You feel that he’s closer to you and you reach up blindly to hold him as best you can.

He starts a steady and easy pace to follow, you meet every thrust with your hips.

Every time he enters the pressure against your insides turns hotter and hotter, spinning a coil inside you so tightly you see stars.

He speeds up when he feels you can handle it, and slows down when you get too high.

His dick twitches inside of you and he presses the hardest he has into you yet, you come more powerfully than all the times leading up to this and you cry out his name, “Jasper! oh! oh my, Jasper! Jasper!”

He continues to thrust in a couple more times until you feel his body shudder and your womb is filled to the brim.

“Jas-per! Jas-!” His lips crash against yours he holds the headboard with both hands now, regaining his senses while he remains inside you.

“I love you, Y/N”

[pennyserenade]

wish you were here.

chapter five - fade into you | ao3 link | previous chapter

pairing: javier peña x female oc, javier peña x named female oc (mariella) rating: t (teen) tags/warnings: angst, brief mention of infidelity, alcohol word count: 2.1k summary: Mariella and Javier continue to feel their way through a friendship. a/n: sorry this is taking me so long to write. love you

A tattered floral scrapbook of Mariella’s sits, face up, on the table. She stands in the corner of her kitchen, looking at it as though it has wronged her in some way. And in some ways, it has. 

In one hand she holds a glass of water and in the other, her telephone. Henry Rath’s number has been typed in, and her fingers hesitate to dial it. The trip down memory lane has proved to be a bitter one. So much of her life had been documented in that scrapbook, from graduations to weddings to the first house, to the very last birthdays she and Henry would spend as a couple together. It was hard to ignore him when he was all there—a little piece of him merged forever with a little piece of her. 

She knew it wasn’t fair, what she did to him. Or rather, what she’s doing to him. In the past three months, he’s left a handful of voicemails she’s deleted before even finishing. She screens most of her calls, just on the offhand chance that it might be him, and each time it makes her feel wrong. At first, it started off with good intention—she wanted to leave him alone, to let him go back to his life. But eventually, the more she thought about what they had done, the more ignoring him became less altruistic. Every time she hears the phone ring, she thinks of him in that hotel room and that little girl that hung on his hip, and she wants as far from it as possible. 

She places the telephone back in its cradle. The excuses are endless: it is Tuesday and she works tomorrow, so she shouldn’t start something she doesn’t know she can’t stop; he probably isn’t home from work yet; he’s likely forgotten about it and to call and remind him now would be cruel; his wife could pick up; closure isn’t the sort of thing either of them are particularly good at. 

Mariella picks up the telephone again. She waits patiently as it rings. 

“Hello?” Chucho answers. 

She leans back onto the counter, swirling the water in her cup. “Hey, Chucho. I was wondering if Javi’s home.”

“Javi?” he asks, sounding surprised. 

“Yeah, Javi. I never thanked him for helping me with my classroom last month and I’d like to.”

There’s a beat of silence before Chucho speaks again. “Javi’s always home, just never know where,” the man laughs. “Would it be alright if I had him call you back? I gotta go find him.”

Mariella glances over at the scrapbook on the table. “That’d be lovely, Chucho. Thank you.” 

When he hangs up, she moves over and closes the book shut. If she wasn’t so goddamn sentimental, she might throw the whole thing away but she is, so she can’t. Instead she tucks it away in the cupboards over her oven, where she’s stored a lone bottle of tequila for about two years now, and then she sits back, waiting. The phone rings a few moments later and she doesn’t hesitate to answer it. “Hello,” she picks up. 

“Mariella?” Javier asks. His voice is low, almost a whisper. 

“I’m sorry I haven’t called you sooner. I wanted to thank you for the classroom. I’ve been using it for about a week now, and it looks wonderful.”

On the other end, she can hear him shift with the phone. “It was no problem,” he replies softly. Then, after a pause, he says, “How are you, Mari?” 

“I’m good, Javier.”

“That’s, uh, that’s good.”

“How about you?” 

More movement. “I’m good too.” 

“My dad says he hasn’t seen you in the movie store as of late,” she says. Javier coughs awkwardly. 

“No? I guess I’ve just been busy.”

“Busy avoiding me? ‘Cause if so, I assure you that’s a safe zone. I don’t work there during the school year, remember?” It’s meant to come out teasing, but, at the current moment, she lacks the exact humor needed to pull off the weight of that sentence. She punctuates it with a laugh that is more of a huff than anything.

He protests. “I—That’s not why.”

“No?” she asks simply. 

“No, not really. There’s just been a lot to do around here. We got new horses. There’s a fence that needs to be built. Chucho just needs me more than the television does.” He attempts to laugh, but it sounds forced. She doesn’t acknowledge it. 

“Think you could spare an hour or two to go get dinner with me?” 

“You want to get dinner?” he sounds in disbelief. 

She can’t help but laugh. “Yeah. One of my new student’s parents owns the bar downtown. They gave me two coupons for a free dinner.”

“Oh,” he replies. “Well, I’ll have to get cleaned up. Can you wait?”

“Sure.”

“Alright. I’ll meet you there at, uh—“ Another pause, “—how about seven?”

“Sounds good.”

“Alright, see you then,” he replies. 

“Yeah, bye,” she adds awkwardly, hanging up. 

Slumping her shoulders, she lets out a deep sigh. Why must everything feel so fucking hard lately?

—-

“Thought you didn’t go to bars,” Javier says, bringing his beer to his mouth. He’s teasing, she can tell: that slanted brow, the pursued lips working hard not to press into a comely grin. She takes a sip of her own drink, and shrugs her shoulders. 

“I don’t,” she hums in response. 

The dinner crowd at the bar is surprisingly large, but conversation is easy to have. It’s nicer, really, in a place like this - too busy to have to worry if the table next to you is listening in. Not that she and Javier have ventured to any topics unsafe for public consumption. They’ve been good, drinking their beers, making small talk the way one might with a friend they’ve grown apart with. It’s got an intimate air to it, but it’s stilted for a strange, heartbreaking reason. 

They don’t talk about all that happened weeks ago, or why they’re sitting here now. Mariella doesn’t mind, really. This is the thing she enjoys about Javier, what she has seen in him since the beginning: he isn’t interested in brewing in the past. If she were a better woman, this might worry her, but luckily enough she isn’t. She understands all too well the temptation to look forward and never backward. 

The beer is making her feel warm and pleasantly buzzed. In the corner, there is a jukebox playing soft country songs and some people are dancing slowly in the middle. She and Javi watch them curiously, resting back in their chairs. 

“How’s the teaching going?” He looks back over at her. 

“It’s going well. The kid’s are as brilliant and witty as ever,” she smiles softly. “How’s the farm?”

Javier shrugs his shoulders. “It’s work. For the first time in months, I’m finally getting a full night’s rest, though, so I won’t complain too much.”

“I’ve always loved that piece of land,” Mariella says, looking back at the dancing patrons. “Miles upon miles of greenery. And the horses! I love driving up and watching them run.”

This makes Javier smile. “Chucho is proud of it and he should be, I suppose. I certainly appreciate it more now than I used to. In Colombia, it was like that—beautiful, I mean. And so green. Standing out in the fields sometimes reminds me of being back there.”

“Do you miss it?” she asks, before she finds the sense to know better. 

Javier’s eyes rake over the crowd, too. He watches a young couple in the corner for a bit, smiling as the boy’s hand gradually works its way lower on the girl’s back. Before he touches her ass, Javi looks back to Mariella, his smile faint but present. “Sometimes,” he answers. 

“I’d love to go someday.”

“You should,” he encourages. “It’s magnificent, really, unlike anything else. That shit they say in the news—it’s true, but not nearly that bad. Not for regular people with clean hands.”

Mariella shakes her head. “Just when I thought you had me sold, you had and go say that.”

“What, your hands dirty?” he narrows his eyes. 

She holds her palms out. “Red,” she nods, though they aren’t. He breathes out a quiet laugh. 

“I think you’d be alright—but go to Mexico first.” 

“You sound like my mother,” she laughs too. 

Looking over at Javi, Mariella debates whether to ask him if he wants to dance or not. The beer has made her feel a little more relaxed, but she’s not without her reason. She remembers the first day they met - really met - and how he said he didn’t know how to dance anymore. She also remembers the kitchen, and the incident that has driven them apart for a month. 

Before she’s given the chance, a woman stops in front of the table. She’s pretty — big blue eyes, an endearing grin — the kind of woman for whom the country accent was made to be spoken by. “Javi,” she says, someplace between shocked and amazed. 

Mariella feels bad at first, thinking this is going to be another one of those small town run-ins he hates, but when she looks over at him, she can tell it’s not. Something softer takes hold of him, something almost tender.  Mariella feels almost like an intruder as he says, “Hey, Lorraine.”

Lorraine’s eyes meet Mariella’s, and then go back to Javi’s. Javi understands. “Mariella, this is Lorraine. She’s my—“

“His old friend,” she finishes for him, extending her hand for Mariella to shake. “It’s nice to meet you. I’ve known about you for years. You’re all your Daddy talks about on Sundays sometimes.”

Lorraine can’t be much older than she is—maybe five or six years—and yet she seems so much more mature. She looks like what Mariella feels she’s been trying to attain her whole life: this perfect, well-rounded, soft-spoken girl who says words like ‘Daddy’ and manages not only to sound sincere, but sweet. 

Mariella shakes her head and smiles politely. “It’s nice to meet you too.” 

Lorraine glances over her shoulder, holding her finger up to a man standing by the entrance. “My husband,” she supplies, looking back at them both. “Listen, I better get going but I just wanted to say it’s nice to see you out and about, Javi. A lot of people here missed you.” Lorraine looks over to Mariella. “And really, it’s lovely to meet you, Mariella. I wish I had more time to sit and chat, because so many people have been telling us about your school. I’ve got a little one about school going age, and I’d love to put her in it.”

“Oh,” Mariella says, “Well, I can give you my number if you’d like.”

“Could you?” Lorraine smiles. “Oh, that’d be lovely.”

Mariella reaches into her purse and rummages around for a pen. When she finds it, she takes one of the napkins from the table and quickly jots down her information. “I wrote down my home number and the school’s. I wouldn’t mind answering any questions you have, but if you’re interested in enrollment information, the office number will be most helpful.”

Lorraine nods. Her hair bounces with her head, and Mariella can’t help but feel like she’s encountered a real life Barbie of sorts. She can imagine that she and Javier must’ve been real good friends, but it doesn’t do anything more than amuse her. 

“Bye, Javi,” Lorraine says, throwing up a hand. She pats Mariella on the shoulder on the way out, “Thank you again,” she says softly. 

Mariella rushes out an “Oh, you’re welcome” and Javier offers a wordless smile. They both watch her return to her husband, but Mariella returns her eyes to Javier long before he does to her. She watches the way a frown takes over his lips. 

Javier brings his beer back to his lips, seemingly shaking the encounter off. The tenderness is replaced by whatever was there before. It’s no less kind, but certainly not as intense. 

“She was my fiancée, once upon a time,” he explains. Mariella wouldn’t have asked, but she’s happy he’s willing to give her that information freely. She nods her head, not saying anything in reply. 

Her eyes return to the crowd, and they both settle into an introspective silence. Mariella forgets she ever wanted to ask him to dance in the first place. For a little bit, she even forgets her own troubles, too. 

She didn’t entirely know why she had called for Javier like she had earlier. He’d been on her mind, sure, but no more than Henry. In fact, a lot less than Henry. Something inside of her had told her to do it, so she had. She’s happy she did, now. 

Misery loves company they say, and she thinks she might’ve found herself a companion in one Javier Peña. 

[ily-sunghoon]

The Omen of Sterling | CHAPTER I

Pairing : vampire!enha x fem!oc (a lot of jungwon in this chapter)

Genre of this chapter : vampire, fluff if you squint

POV : Author’s

Words count : 4k

WARNINGS : food, mentioned of blood, curses, mentioned of menstrual cycle, sarco is mean and crazy but he's just silly! trust (lmk if i miss anything)

Note : thank you for your excitement, guys! i feel loved <3 feel free to ask if you have confusion about anything!

MASTERLIST

TAGLIST : @nshmrarki @capri-cuntz @millieinyourarea @strxwbloody (let me know if you want to be added)

CHAPTER I: BET

“Jusarlie Grieffang.” Jusarlie shakes the guest’ hand softly. Afraid to hurt her since it has been so long since he interacted with humans.

“Iolana Sterling.” Their guest smiles.

That last name was a jumpscare for Jusarlie, but he managed to put on a poker face.

“Hey, your name is familiar… are you a writer?” Iolana squints her eyes a little.

“Oh! Yes, I am. Do you like to read books?” Jusarlie’s eyes immediately lit up when Iolana mentioned that.

“I love books! I think the very first book that I read so willingly is one of your masterpieces. Mind Ruler? That was amazing and mind opening.” Iolana tries to recollect her memory.

If Jusarlie’s eyes were not sparkling before, they really sparkling now. His books reached outsiders! She is a Sterling, but still, this lifts his mood so much!

“Even your first book? I’m truly honored! Thank you for enjoying my works, Iolana!” Jusarlie giggles like a teenage girl in love.

“I’m the one who’s feeling very honored to meet you unexpectedly like this. You’re such an amazing writer. I love your brain.” Iolana totally adores Jusarlie’s books.

“Writing is just my hobby, I only do it when I have a spare time.” Jusarlie is still on cloud nine after what Iolana just said.

“Your lore is very amazing, what is your daily activity, then?” Iolana is still in awe.

“I’m a beginner professor at one of our schools here in Krashoviel.” Jusarlie smiles with his eyes too, his fangs are showing and they’re so perfect. Wow, good dental hygiene.

Iolana is not even hiding her jaw drop expression. “You’re the coolest in the world. There are no such things as beginner professor…”

“Iolana, stop… you’re complimenting me too much.” Jusarlie giggled.

“What is your favorite book, Jusarlie?” Iolana had no idea how Jusarlie loved that question so much.

“Finally, someone asked me my favorite book!” He looks so excited. “It’s Endless Cycle by Roberto Cairneye! It’s amazing.”

“Classics! I swear we have it in my father bookshelf, I regret the fact that I haven’t read it now.” Iolana sighed, real sigh, unlike Jusarlie’s.

“Hey, it’s fine. I can always give you a copy! Now, tell me your favorite book!” Jusarlie is beginning to feel interested in Iolana.

“It’s your masterpiece, Under the Solid Ground! I really love how you picture history perfectly with your words. I had such a wonderful time learning the basic history of Krashoviel with that amazing book.” Iolana is truly a loyal reader.

“Iolana, you made my day hundredfold better. Thank you so much for loving my works. Truly, I’m very grateful.” Jusarlie swore he will protect Iolana if the others still want to eat them.

“It’s the other way around, Jusarlie!” Iolana giggled.

“By the way, is your book lover dad the Tearle Sterling?” Jusarlie asked curiously.

“Yes, that’s right! He is my beloved father.” Iolana nodded.

“Ah, I knew it. He was my favorite teacher back then when he was still young.” Jusarlie admitted. “He was a legendary professor. I wanted to be one because of him.”

“Really?!” Iolana found this really interesting.

Time passes by as they’re talking, it doesn’t feel like a burden anymore to Jusarlie. Iolana is such an amazing person. She is far more brilliant than any other humans he had encountered before, he even dared to says that she’s probably the most brilliant person than any of the people in their kingdom. It’s like a fresh breath of air for a prisoner.

“Apologize for making you wait.” Jestel made them stop their conversation. He smiled at Iolana and offered his hand to shake hers, “Jestel Sinflame.”

“I should be the one who’s apologizing, Mr. Sinflame.” She smiles back at Jestel, her eyes are smiling too. She shakes his hand, “Iolana Sterling.”

“You can be casual here, just call me Jestel. I’m not that old.” Jestel is still smiling.

“You clearly have aging blindness, Uncle.” Jusarlie giggled.

“We’re in the same age, Nephew.” Jestel threatened Jusarlie. “Now go and see Saine to see what task you have to do.”

Jusarlie nods and doesn’t forget to say goodbye to Iolana, of course. He knew that they wouldn’t have to eat her today. He feels relieved. Iolana is a brilliant girl and she is very fun to talk to. It’s rare to find it these days, at least for him.

“Iolana,” Jestel suddenly brought Iolana’s attention back to him again.

“Yes, Mist—Jestel?” Iolana immediately responds.

“My deepest condolences for what happened to your family. Tearle Sterling was a legendary fighter.” Jestel pays some respect for Tearle.

Iolana smiles, she could feel the sincerity in Jestel’s voice. “Thank you, Jestel.”

“I’m so sorry for you. I know how it feels to lost a whole family… it feels so heart breaking, yet…”

“So fast… like a blink of an eye.” Iolana finishes Jestel’s perfectly.

“Exactly.” Jestel nodded. “Your father’s note… he said you’re a good fighter. Is that true?”

“He exaggerated that one.” Iolana giggled. “I can fight, but I won’t say I’m that good.”

“Based on what I remember, Tearle is never good at exaggerating things. I believe everything he said.” Jestel smiles.

“Alright, I give up.” Iolana chuckled softly.

“Let me walk you to your room.” They walk side by side, Jestel guides her through that big mansion of his.

“You have to acknowledge this,” Jestel paused for a second. “We’re going to give you our best facility, education, and training that you need.”

“Oh? I really didn’t expect that. I thought you were thinking about turning me into your dinner or something. Thank you so much, Jestel.” Iolana is very grateful. She was so ready for any kind of bad probability, but here she goes with the best one.

“You’re the last Sterling alive, Iolana. We wouldn’t risk witnessing the whole of Sterling go extinct. Sterling is very legendary for us.” Jestel admitted. “Did your father tell you what Sterling did during the wars?”

“He said Sterling are the doctors?” Iolana is a little unsure. They’ve been saying that Sterling is legendary, is doctor strong enough to be legendary? In the field where their patients mostly regenerated and heal so fast?

“That was after the war.” Jestel giggled after almost a decade not even caring to smile. “Sterling are our heartless fighters. Best of the best along with Phelanflame, Sarco’s family.”

Iolana listened very carefully.

“We only put them in the battlefield when the other are exhausted or the important people of our rivals show up in the battlefield.” Jestel continued. “They were vampire killers after all, even if they’re vampires themselves. We were on cloud nine when they decided to join our nation.”

��Wow, they’re a huge deal…” Iolana nods, beginning to understand why Jestel call her family legendary.

“We wouldn’t have won the last war without Sterling’s help. That’s why Slevado and Axadel tried their hardest to make your family turn their back on Krashoviel. Every nation wants Sterling on their side.”

“My father never told me about this… it’s not on the books neither…” Iolana is dumbfounded.

“Now you know, Iolana.” Jestel chuckled again. “How did you get here, by the way? It’s almost an impossible task for human.”

“Well, I know the borders are tough. I chose the west border. I used a big blanket and a rope to just… well, fly off the cliff! It’s the fastest way even though the risk is big.”

“Fly… to the gate?” Jestel is dumbfounded now. What an odd girl.

“Yes, I got nothing to lose. It was so therapeutic.” Iolana laughed at herself.

A sudden wind brush over Jestel and Iolana. It was Jusarlie who brought Iolana’s bags to her new room.

“Oh, sorry about that. Vampires have so many capabilities, I’m assuming you know about it.” Jestel continued to walk upstairs.

“Yes, I’m aware. I will train myself to get used to it, since my father barely use his power at home.” Iolana nods.

“By the way, your room is—oh, no. I apologize.” Jestel realized he made a mistake. “Your room is on the 3rd floor. I can move—”

“No, no, it’s okay! I could get a better view from the 3rd floor, right?” Iolana doesn’t want to burden Jestel.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I will love it.” Iolana smiles widely.

“As your wish, then.” Jestel finally nods.

“Although, I have one question…”

“And that would be?” Jestel tilts his head.

“My menstrual cycle.”

“What’s that?” Jestel is purely confused.

“I bleed naturally every month through my reproduction area. Would that be a problem?”

Fucking hell, Jestel is in shock.

“What do you mean? Like bleeding? Literal blood coming out of you? Does that hurt?” Jestel is worried.

“For me, no. For my mom, sometimes. Depends on the person. Yes, it’s literal blood, it lasts for about 5 days maximum for me.” Iolana explained.

“Well, that is a problem. You have a set schedule for it, right?” Jestel is worried sick. “I should give your room high-level security.”

“It usually ends on the full moon, so around five days before full moon?” Iolana is starting to worry now.

“Alright, I’ll figure something out.” Jestel nods. He holds the door handle, “Welcome to your new room.”

Iolana eyes wander over the whole room. It’s such a big room. The right side of the room is her bed, vanity, and some sofa. On the left side of the room is an open two-story, where the upstairs are full of books and underneath the area is her walk-in-closet and bathroom. There’s also some big windows and a balcony. She loves this room.

“Wow, this room is beautiful.” Iolana adores her room.

“Hi, Iolana! I left some books for you on your desk. I arranged everything except your clothes.” Jusarlie is so smiley.

“This room is clean, because the maids clean empty room once every three days. And I left some incense! It’s good for relaxation.” Saine also smiles at her.

“Thank you, guys! I love it!” Iolana is so thankful for the fact that they welcomed her nicely like this.

“Go get some rest, while we wait for dinner time. Tonight, I’ll take you for a personality test.” Jestel informed Iolana. “Jusarlie and Saine are living on the 3rd floor as well. Saine is right across from you and Jusarlie is next to you.”

“Thank you, Jestel. Thank you so much.”

“You deserve all the love, Iolana.”

Oh, really? All the love, Jusarlie and Saine hit Jestel with their mind links.

I’m being nice, Jestel replied in their mind links.

“Alright, let’s head out. Iolana needs to rest.” Jestel is ready to go and he’s already behind the door, but Jusarlie and Saine are not moving anytime soon.

“Five minutes.” Jusarlie told him.

“No, let her rest.”

“I want to join them.” Saine plead to Jestel.

“No, I need you to do your task. Jusarlie could stay.” Jestel threatened Saine. “Come on.”

“Bye, Iolana…” Saine looks sad.

“Bye-bye, Saine!” Iolana waves and smiles.

“Bye, Uncle Jestel!” Jusarlie mocked the annoyed Saine.

“I’m going to educate you about anything you need to know!” Jusarlie sits on the floor. Iolana follows him.

“How old is Jestel again?” Iolana asked curiously.

“Three hundreds this year.” Jusarlie answered excitedly. “And I’m two hundreds ninety-eight soon!”

“Wow, is it boring?” Iolana is curious. “To live for so long…”

“Sometimes? Unless there’s a war going on, they’re kind of fun.” Jusarlie nods.

They talked for a while until it was finally two hours before dinner time. Jusarlie excuses himself because Jasper called him through mind links.

—

“Where’s Jusarlie?” Hiael asked Saine.

“With Iolana. Ugh, he’s so annoying.”

“Still with Iolana?” Sarco laughs.

“Besides from her annoying smell and the fact that she is cute, what’s so special about her? Most of you just seems… in love?” Jasper is unsure.

“Not me,” Ricardo chuckled.

“Saine, Jusarlie, and Jestel.” Jasper specified.

“I’m not in love.” Jestel shook his head calmly.

“Give him a day or two.” Sarco laughs at Jestel’s confidence. They’re best friends, Sarco could read him like an open book. Jestel is in love for sure.

“Jusarlie is in love.” Jestel is sure about his feelings.

“Quit it. Let him be, it’s been long since he found a friend that he could talk to like that.” Hiael is wiser than them. “Who knows? Maybe she could bring the bubbly side of Jusarlie again.”

“Absolutely not. Let’s make a bet.” Ricardo laughed.

“I bet he will not change, and he will just be soft towards that girl. If I’m wrong, I’ll get you guys shoes fresh from Cynfael.” Sarco chuckled.

“I bet the old grumpy Jusarlie will be gone. If I’m wrong, I’ll teach the kids at Underwood Orphanage how to fight.” Hiael made the others shocked.

“Now this is getting serious!” Ricardo couldn’t believe Hiael. “I bet Jusarlie won’t change. It’s just temporary. If I’m proven wrong, I’ll look after the kids in Derrick Orphanage for a month.”

“Oh, wow!” Saine nods. “I bet he’ll change. I’ll teach the kids in Derrick Orphanage a table manner class for my bet.”

There are two main orphanages in Krashoviel and they are two different kinds for sure. Derrick Orphanage is where the crazy and naughty kids live. While Underwood Orphanage is full of insecure kids who are afraid of everything, they give up so easily.

“He will change. I’ll buy you guys new suits from Charson if it’s turn out to be wrong.” Jestel took his part in the bet too.

The others are surprised by that. If Jestel took a part in a bet, then it’s a serious bet indeed.

“He won’t change. You can order me around for three days if I’m wrong.” Jasper shrugged his shoulder.

“Have some manners, putting a bet over me? Where’s the morality?” Jusarlie appeared in an instant.

Ricardo tries to hug Jusarlie roughly and mess his hair up, but to their surprise, Jusarlie is still smiling and has no interest in being angry like he always did. Sarco is dumbfounded.

“Would you like to teach at Derrick Orphanage?” Jestel asked just to make sure it was real.

“Sure! Oh, and… Iolana said that children behave the way that behave based on their caretakers. You might want to investigate our main orphanages, Jestel. They’re our new generations, I wouldn’t want a mix of insecure kids and rebellious kids.” Jusarlie informed him.

“Oh, really? Thank you, I’ll investigate the caretakers.” Jestel nods.

“If possible, you have to ask to the children instead.” Jusarlie continued.

“What if the caretakers threatened them? It would be difficult.” Hiael speaks his mind.

“Sorry for suddenly catching up, you must ask them very smoothly. Children are naturally honest and innocent. It won’t be that hard to make them open up about their feelings. You can also watch their body language! It tells a lot.” Iolana appeared out of nowhere. She is already standing next to Jusarlie.

They’re all shocked. None of them felt her aura or even her sweet scent.

“How the hell did you do that?” Ricardo panicked.

“Do what?”

“Hiding your presence?” Jestel is as confused.

“Oh, easy! Just don’t make a sound and believe that you’re not actually there. Bad affirmations about yourself would help.” Iolana gladly shares how to do her thing.

“Why don’t you meet Hiael and Jasper? They’ve been eager to see you.” Jestel pushes Iolana softly towards Hiael and Jasper. “The others please follow me, we have to make sure our food is ready.”

“Yes, Jestel.” They headed out from that dining room to the closest office room they found.

“Hi, I’m Iolana.” Iolana smiles at Hiael and Jasper.

“Jasper.”

“Hiael Von Ruden, nice to meet you.” Hiael smiles slightly. “Sorry, Jasper is a new vampire. He hasn’t gotten used to human scent. So, if he’s being a little rude…”

“It’s totally fine. I hope you feel well about your transformation soon, Jasper.” Iolana is kind enough to say that.

Jasper smiles and nods at her. Her sweet scent is very annoying.

—

“What in the hell was that?” Jestel is furious.

“I fucking told you she’s the girl in the omen.” Saine chuckled.

“That was NOT normal.” Ricardo shook his head. “Her scent is very strong, she can’t just hit us with invisible aura like that.”

“She’s a Sterling, why are you so surprised by the fact that she can just make herself invisible?” Sarco giggled at their confusion.

“Because she smells like the most delicious food ever?” Ricardo is still confused. “I mean, okay! She’s in that legendary bloodline, but her scent!”

“Did you really don’t feel her presence?” Jestel asked Jusarlie again.

“I would’ve said hi immediately if I knew she was there.” Jusarlie admitted. Frustrated at Jestel’s weird panic moment.

“I wonder what she capable of in fight field.” Sarco is zoning out. Imagining how brutal she would fight him, or the other way? Maybe she has silent-killing skill?

“Jusarlie, Saine, let’s take her to Idris after dinner.” Jestel made up his mind.

“Uh, oh.” Sarco was a bit surprised when Jestel made his choice. He gets it if they’re scared of her, but taking her to Idris? The best wizard in town? That’s just comedic, they have Saine, Idris’s son, at home for a reason.

“Something is not right.” Jestel shook his head. “By the way, we have a problem. She has this menstrual cycle.”

“What is that?” Sarco is confused. “Menstru—what?”

“She basically bled through her private part every month for five days.” Jestel explained. “She said female humans have that.”

“Absolutely not.”

—

The talk with Hiael and Jasper only lasts for like fifteen minutes? They’re too reserved for Iolana. So, she made her excuse to go back to her room again. She chose to pick up a book from Jusarlie, the one that he said was his favorite. She reads it while waiting for dinner time.

Reaching page fity-two, Iolana heard a bell chime. Must be dinner time. She left her book open on her bed and walked out of her room. Just in time! Cause a moment later, Saine got out of his room too.

“Iolana!” Saine yelled in the corridor. “Wait up!”

“Hi, Saine!” Iolana gives him a sweet smile.

“Do you want a ride?” Saine offered.

“How do we do it?” She wanted to say yes, but she was confused.

“Excuse me,” Saine puts his hand on her waist. They instantly reached the dining room. Iolana has no idea of what just happened.

“For the love of Alexander Grieffang, what is wrong with yo—oh, hi!” Jusarlie’s sudden change of behavior shock Sarco to the core.

“Thank you, Saine. Hi, Jusarlie!” Iolana greets Jusarlie who said hi to her.

“Are you not feeling nauseous after he gave you that deathly ride?” Hiael is confused.

“Am I supposed to feel nauseous?” Iolana scratches the back of her head slowly.

“Does the effect not work on humans?” Jasper is also confused.

“Maybe not yet.” Sarco chuckled, mocking Saine.

“Or maybe she’s just stronger than you, losers.” Saine spat back.

“Even our handsome Jestel always feel nauseous if you gave him a ride.” Jusarlie reminds him of the fact that Jestel hates Saine’s little ride trip. “Humans should’ve felt the worst nauseous they ever had.”

All of a sudden, Sarco throws a vase at Iolana. Fortunately, she’s fast to catch it so it doesn’t break and make her bleed while Jasper is in the very same room with them.

“Or maybe she’s not an ordinary human, guys.” Sarco declared.

“Are you out of your fucking mind?” Jusarlie and Saine are visibly angry.

“I was just testing wave.” Sarco admitted.

“She could’ve bled and that is my favorite vase, Sarco.” Hiael reminded him.

“Are you alright?” Saine asked worriedly.

“As good as ever. I’m glad the vase didn’t break.” Iolana gave the vase gently to Hiael.

“Thank you, Beautiful. Pardon him, he’s a little sick in the head.” Hiael smiles gently to Iolana.

“For the love of Amadeus Cairneye, Iolana. We’re glad you’re okay.” Saine is worried. Iolana seriously could’ve died.

“Are you in love, Saine?” Sarco giggled.

“Get lost, Sarco.” Saine is still angry at him.

Just right on time, Jestel and Ricardo arrived in the dining room. Seeing angry Saine and Jusarlie, Jestel is curious about what just happened.

“You may sit.” Jestel asked them to sit on their chair at the dining table while he sits at the head of the table.

Sarco sits on the right side, Jusarlie on the left side. Iolana sits between Jusarlie and Ricardo. While the others are on Sarco’s side. Jasper is right across from Iolana, she tried to smile at him, but he quickly looked at the other way. She expected that.

They wait for the food to be served by the maids. Iolana feels this tense atmosphere when they serve the food. The maids are probably hating on her too, that’s alright! They’re just not used to living with humans, right?

“You may eat.” Jestel informed them and took the first bite. The others follow along except for Ricardo who’s still figuring out how to use knife and fork.

Iolana hits him softly on his leg with her own leg, and Ricardo looks at her in confusion. She slowly uses her own knife and fork, showing Ricardo how it’s done.

Sarco, Saine, and Hiael are observing that scene very carefully.

“What happened earlier?” Jestel asked them.

They turned their heads to Jestel, then to each other’s. Who’s going to tell him?

“Sarco threw Hiael’s favorite vase to Iolana. Luckily enough, Iolana caught it right on time.” Saine eyed Sarco sarcastically.

“I was just testing something.” Sarco admitted.

“You could’ve killed her. Apologize.” Jestel’s voice is calm but dominating. Iolana takes a mental note not to make him angry.

“I’m sorry, Iolana.” Sarco said half-heartedly.

“Be genuine.” Jusarlie scoffed.

“I’m sorry, Iolana.” Sarco did it wholeheartedly now.

“It’s okay, I feel relieved that the vase—”

“Go finish that sentence, I dare you.” Saine scolds Iolana. “You must be worried about yourself more than we do, Iolana. Seriously. You could’ve bled and died.”

“Sorry…” Iolana feels good. They care about her, but at the same time? Saine is scary.

“I haven’t properly introduced you to them, Iolana.” Jestel remembered his actual responsibility. “This is Sarco Phelanflame, the one who just went out of his mind and threw that vase at you.”

“Hi, Sterling.” Sarco smiles at her. Seems genuine? Iolana thinks he’s a bit odd.

“Right across you, that’s Jasper. Our new vampire. He joined eight months ago.” Jestel continues.

“Hi.” Jasper gave her the cold shoulder.

“That’s Hiael Von Ruden. He is our eldest.” Jestel continued again.

“Von Ruden? As in the Von Ruden?” Iolana was clearly surprised. Von Ruden is the royal bloodline of Slevado.

“I betrayed my nation.” Hiael explained shortly.

Iolana nods, showing that she understood now.

“And that’s our youngest, Ricardo. He’s twenty years old this year. How old are you, Iolana?” Jestel asked her curiously.

“Twenty-one this year.” Iolana answered while smiling at them.

“We’re about the same age, then.” Ricardo giggled.

Sarco couldn’t believe that. Even Ricardo is enchanted by Iolana’s charm now.

“I have a niece who usually sits next to Sarco. She is staying in the palace for a few days right now. I think you will get along with her, Iolana.” Jestel explained.

“Can’t wait to meet her.” Iolana chuckled nervously.

“I hope you feel at home, Iolana. Even though, it must be hard since we live under the same roof as this maniac.” Saine smiles at Iolana and then stares at Sarco like he wants to kill him.

“Won’t you forgive me, Saine?” Sarco fakes a sigh.

“Never.”

“Just scream whenever he’s being out of normal, we’ll be there in no time to save you from him.” Jusarlie makes sure Iolana felt safe.

“You make me sound like a creep.”

“Because you are.”

“You are creepier than me, Saine.”

“Pardon me?!”

They keep bickering with each other, Iolana loves this. She loves it when others get into an argument. That dinner unexpectedly feels warm for the first time in a hundred years.

TO BE CONTINUED...

; YOUR CUTE REBLOGS AND COMMENTS MAKE ME FEEL REALLY GRATEFUL <3 ; FEEL FREE TO HIT MY ASK IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTION ABOUT THE WORLD BUILDING OR CHARACTER!

© ily-sunghoon, 2024 DO NOT COPY, STEAL, PLAGIARIZE, OR REPOST ON OTHER PLATFORM DO NOT TRANSLATE WITHOUT PERMISSION

[awkward-walking-potato]

Okay, I loved the ask about the OC x Character fic, I didn’t know you wrote ocs either, so I would like to go next :o

Okay, so, this is another Logan x new recruit thing, but I think I’d leave it platonic. My OC, she was experimented for a few years (more likely 12 years) her appearance has wolf shaped ears (she has human ears, but those don’t work anymore) a wolf tail, and wings, somewhat of a similarity to a Phoenix bird (but they’re usually never used and are seen closed). She has a bandaged covering her right eye, with hair covering said bandage (she covers an eye that strictly hides a darker persona that she holds because of the experimentation, but she doesn’t mention that and brushes it off) she’s a bit quiet and slightly pessimistic, with a touch of stoicism, but if she’s training she gets on her determination highly.

Her name is Phoenix, that’s not her real name, but she calls herself that because that’s the name everyone called her when she was experimented on back then, and forgot her original name.

Hopefully this isn’t much potato, but I think I might’ve taken it a bit too far :,3. Take your time on it though, no rush ^^!

Phoenix Rising

The first time Logan saw her, he wasn’t sure what to make of her. She was standing off to the side of the training grounds, her large wings folded tight against her back, a wolf-like tail curled around her leg. With wolf-shaped ears replacing her human ones, and a bandaged right eye hidden beneath strands of hair, she looked every bit the mystery.

Her name was Phoenix. That wasn’t her real name, but it was all she had left after years of experimentation. Logan had been around long enough to recognize that haunted look in her good eye—the look of someone who had been through hell and barely survived it. It was a look he understood all too well.

She was quiet, keeping to herself most of the time, but there was a fire underneath that stoic surface. He noticed it whenever she trained, her determination burning through the layer of guarded indifference she showed the rest of the world. She was strong, focused, and there was something about the way she pushed herself that reminded Logan of his own battles. She never complained, even when the sessions were grueling, her face set in a grim line of perseverance.

But despite her strength, there was something else—a darkness she kept hidden. Logan saw it in the way she covered her right eye, the way she always deflected questions about her past. He knew there was something deeper going on, something she wasn’t ready to talk about. He didn’t push. If there was one thing Logan understood, it was the need to carry your own burdens until you were ready to share them.

One afternoon, after an especially intense training session, Phoenix stayed behind as the others left. Logan watched her from a distance as she silently paced, wings twitching restlessly. He could see the tension in her body, the battle she was fighting inside her own mind.

He approached her slowly, not wanting to startle her. "You did good today, kid," Logan said, his voice low and gruff.

Phoenix stopped, turning her head slightly to acknowledge him. "Thanks," she replied softly, though her tone was flat. She was always polite, but Logan could tell there was something weighing on her.

"You alright?" he asked, leaning against the wall beside her.

For a moment, she was silent, her good eye staring off into the distance. "I’m fine," she answered, but Logan could hear the hesitation in her voice.

"You don’t gotta talk if you don’t want to," Logan added, his eyes narrowing slightly. "But you’ve been through some rough stuff, haven’t you?"

Phoenix tensed, her hand instinctively reaching up to touch the bandage over her eye. "It’s nothing," she said quickly, brushing off the question as she always did.

Logan crossed his arms, watching her closely. "You don’t have to hide it, y’know. Not from me."

Phoenix hesitated again, her fingers gripping the edge of her sleeve. She looked down, her quiet voice barely above a whisper. "I don’t want anyone to know... not about that part of me." There was an edge of fear in her voice, as if she was terrified of revealing the darker persona that lurked behind her covered eye.

Logan nodded, understanding all too well what it meant to keep a part of yourself hidden from the world. "You’re not alone, Phoenix. Whatever they did to you—it doesn’t define you."

She didn’t respond right away, but there was a flicker of emotion in her eye, a vulnerability she rarely showed. Logan could see it, even if she didn’t want to admit it. He let the silence hang between them for a moment, giving her space.

"I’m trying to move past it," she finally said, her voice steady but fragile. "But it’s hard when... when I don’t even remember who I used to be. Phoenix is all I have left."

Logan let out a small breath, his voice softening. "Names don’t mean much if you ask me. It’s who you are now that matters. And from what I’ve seen, you’re tougher than you think."

Phoenix met his gaze, her good eye filled with something like gratitude, though she remained quiet. Logan knew she wasn’t ready to open up fully yet, but that was okay. He’d be there when she was.

"Keep pushin'," Logan said, giving her a nod of approval. "You’re doin’ fine."

As he walked away, Logan couldn’t help but feel a surge of protectiveness toward her. Phoenix might have been through hell, but she was a fighter. And Logan? He’d make damn sure she knew she wasn’t alone in that fight anymore.

[naughtyneganjdm]

Naughty or Nice - Chapter 3

Summary: Tensions grow higher at the Greene farm when Negan learns the woman he had an affair with is the younger sister to the woman that he is dating.

Characters: Negan, the reader (OC), Maggie, Greene Family, etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51464518/chapters/130700899

Warnings: 18+, Swearing, angst, smut, etc.

Notes: I was trying to have some fun with this one. Thank you to those that read this! I appreciate all of you!

“I don’t understand,” Negan stammered to find the right words, his eyes shifting between both Y/N and Maggie. There were so many unanswered questions that were swirling around in his head. “How did you not know that your sister was my boss? And the two of you have different last names…”

“I use my mother’s last name,” Y/N informed Negan which ultimately made sense after all she told Negan when they were together last night. Huffing out, Hershel made his presence known and didn’t have to say a word to make it clear he hated that. With each passing second, all of the questions Negan had started to answer themselves. After spending such a small amount of time with Maggie’s family, by putting it together with the information he learned last night he was able to make sense of a lot of things. Maggie was the older sister that was the favorite. Y/N was the middle sister that was looked down upon and not well liked. Negan saw it in Hershel’s actions. Y/N was right about everything she told him about her family.

“You’re still using her last name?” Hershel retorted, a snarl expanding over his features at the idea. Y/N had a hard time looking at Hershel and when she did, Negan could see all that bravery and strength he knew in her from the past leaving. This man really did a number on her.

“I like the way it sounds,” Y/N explained feeling small. The last thing she should have felt was small with everything that she accomplished. Maggie stepped in beside her, offering up a weak smile. And that’s when things got worse for her. Now, not only was she dealing with the uncomfortableness from being around her family again, but she had to think about how the man she had an affair with last night was dating her older sister. Her older sister that she hadn’t seen in years. There wasn’t enough strength to muster up the words that were needed right now. So all she could do was focus on her father and what he said about her using her mother’s last name professionally. “I just was more comfortable using it.”

“It’s disrespectful,” Hershel chastised her response, shaking his head in disbelief. “I’m not surprised though. You were always eager to get away from this family.”

“Daddy,” Maggie interrupted Hershel trying to make things less confrontational in the best way that she could. Rolling his eyes, Hershel’s hands settled at his hips and he turned away from them. Turning her attention back to Negan, Maggie was still thinking about how Negan asked her that she had no idea that Y/N was his boss. “Y/N and I haven’t talked in a very long time. Originally, she was living somewhere else. I had heard she moved to the city, but I never really learned much more than that. If I would have known she was your boss, I would have said something. Obviously.”

“Why did the two of you stop talking?” Negan pointed back and forth between the two of them. It made Y/N frown and look down toward her feet. “It’s just…you’re both so different and…”

“You’re acting weird,” Erin commented, tugging at Negan’s jacket to get him to look down at her. “Why are you acting weird?”

“I’m not acting weird,” Negan scrambled to find the right words reaching down to pick Erin up in his arms. “I’m just surprised to see that the woman I work under is related to Maggie. That’s all. It’s something you think I would have known.”

“You are acting kinda weird,” Beau piped in, whispering low enough for his father only to hear. Tension filled his father’s body and the way that Negan was talking was the way he would talk when he was flustered or worried. “What’s going on dad?”

“These are your kids?” Y/N inquired trying to change the subject to take the attention off her and Negan in this moment. Of course they were his kids. They had dimples just like him and the boy looked like a younger version of Negan. Stepping forward, she extended her hand out before Beau and offered a weak smile. “It’s nice to meet you…”

“Beau,” Negan’s son accepted the gesture and shook her hand. “And you’re Y/N? We’ve heard a lot about you.”

“I assume not always the best things,” Y/N suggested, but Beau immediately shook his head, his hand still shaking hers.

“No, it’s always been good things,” Beau denied her negative thoughts and Beau wasn’t wrong. Negan wasn’t the kind of man to come home and vent to his children about the job that he wasn’t given. If anything, he talked about his projects and never went into detail about the things bothering him at work.

“I’m Erin!” Negan’s daughter immediately blurt out, her dimples sinking in when Y/N turned her attention to her. Y/N assumed that other than the dimples and the smile, Erin’s blonde hair and green eyes matched Negan’s late wife. Holding her hand out, Erin shook Y/N’s hand enthusiastically before burying her head against the side of Negan’s neck.

“I guess this is very awkward, isn’t it?” Maggie southern drawl brought all of the attention back to her. “I think we all have some catching up to do here.”

“Is now a good time to come out?” a voice interrupted them and it finally drew attention to the man that was slowly stepping out of the car. Maggie hadn’t expected someone to be there causing her to jump, slipping with her footing and the man caught her before she fell. Maggie clung to the jacket that the man was wearing and he let out a nervous laugh. “Sorry about that. I just, I didn’t know when I should come out and introduce myself.”

“It’s…okay,” Maggie’s head tipped to the side looking into the big brown eyes of the man clinging tightly to her. Once he made sure she was okay, he helped Maggie up into a standing position before stepping beside Y/N. His fingers hooked with Y/N’s and Negan shook his head.

“I’m Glenn,” Y/N’s fiancé held his hand up to wave and he was awkward. It was obvious that he wasn’t much of an outgoing personality. Glenn’s cheeks flushed over, his tanned flesh turning red while they all stood together in the group quiet. “I’m Y/N’s fiancé. I was told that people knew I was coming. I’m so sorry for interrupting whatever was going on.”

“No, of course!” Annette stepped forward to reach out to grab Y/N’s free hand. Tipping up, she pressed a kiss over the side of Y/N’s face and then hugged Glenn eagerly. “Y/N told me all about you. I’m so thankful that the two of you made it here. We were hoping you would.”

“It’s been a long time Y/N. You snagged yourself a cutie,” Beth interrupted moving in to introduce herself to Glenn and to give her sister another big hug. “I can’t wait to catch up. I need to have you tell me all about how you met this guy.”

“It’s not that big of a story,” Glenn chuckled shifting on his feet nervously before her family. Glenn was certainly uncomfortable and he showed it with everyone paying attention to him. Letting out a winded exhale, Glenn waved his hand about in the air. “Thank you for letting me be here with you on the holidays everyone.”

“Your face is red daddy,” Erin informed her father, stroking down over the side of Negan’s cheek. Trying to relax his expression, Negan knew that he likely had his face scrunched in jealousy and upset. Of course his face was red. He just found out the woman that he thought he connected and bonded with more than anyone since he lost Lucille was related to the woman that he was dating.

“I think it’s just the cold baby,” Negan tried to explain hearing Hershel grunt out and motion them forward.

“We’ll show you all to your rooms so you can get settled in,” Hershel urged them to follow him toward the large home. It was a charming, older home at the center of this land and Negan was sure it was beautiful on the inside, but it was so different from what he was used to.

“And then afterwards we can give you the tour of the farm,” Maggie moved in beside Negan to give him a small nudge. Giving her an unsure smile, Negan looked beyond her to see that Glenn was helping Y/N gather her things and he sighed. Shit, this whole weekend just got so much more complicated. All night, all Negan could think about was Y/N and now he was going to be forced to keep his feelings for her hidden.

Once inside, Hershel led the kids to their rooms first. Negan was surprised that they had a room for both Beau and Erin. Beau’s room had an old arcade game inside of it that immediately drew his son’s attention. Erin’s room had a lot of stuffed animals and toys that Negan assumed likely belonged to the girls when they were younger. Beau stayed with Erin to help her unpack while Hershel led them toward another room.

“I’m sure you know where your room is honey,” Hershel pointed to one of the doors that was closed and Maggie headed toward it. Going to follow Maggie, Negan heard Hershel clearing his throat to get Negan’s attention and Negan looked back over his shoulder. “Not in my house.”

“Sorry?” Negan was surprised to hear that comment from Hershel. What the hell was that supposed to mean?

“You’re still sticking to that? Why am I not surprised?” Y/N chuckled to herself, clinging to her things when Maggie stopped in front of her door to hold onto the handle. Disgust filled Y/N’s face and Negan clung to his things still unsure of what was happening. “We’re adults dad. I’ve lived with Glenn for months. You’re going to separate us into different rooms?”

“Daddy, come on,” Maggie pouted, pushing open the door and reaching for Negan, but Hershel immediately shook his head. “I’ve stayed at Negan’s place plenty of times. I have room for him to stay in there with me. I promise we’ll be on our best behavior.”

“Oh, you’ve had her over your home plenty of times?” Hershel repeated those words and suddenly Negan felt very singled out. His Adam’s apple bounced in this throat and he frowned. What the fuck was he supposed to say to that?

“I’ll just go and share a room with Beau. I don’t mind sleeping on the floor,” Negan suggested pointing back toward the rooms where his children would be staying. “I feel more comfortable being in the same area as my children anyways.”

“Your children will be perfectly safe. And don’t be silly Negan, you’re a grown man. You need a bed for yourself. With your important job, you’ll need your own space,” it felt like Hershel was almost mocking him and he waved Negan on. First Hershel showed Glenn to his room leaving Negan and Y/N as the last two people with him.

“I’m sure you remember where your room was? Unless you erased that from your memory too,” Hershel turned on his heel to stare out at his daughter.

“You mean you didn’t turn it into the junk room like you promised you would?” Y/N brought back tense memories that obviously happened between them when they were younger.

“Come on Negan,” Hershel waved Negan on, ignoring Y/N when she went for the room that was obviously hers in the past. When Hershel started to lead him toward some stairs, Negan let out a hesitant sound. “You’re going to be staying in the attic.”

“The what?” Negan followed Hershel up the stairs and into the attic. There was a big window that let in a large amount of light that was almost blinding. But he did notice once they were up there that there was a bed prepared. There were dressers, mirrors and things set up to make it feel homey, but at the end of the day…it was just an attic. With every second longer Negan spent with Hershel, he was noticing more and more that Hershel’s favorite was Maggie. Also Hershel was making it evident that he hated Negan for dating his daughter. “Are you sure we can’t just bring this bed down and put it in the room with Beau?”

“So neither one of you have enough room to move?” Hershel leaned against the wall, his eyes narrowing out at Negan. If looks could kill, Negan would be dead. It left Negan wondering what to say and really what to do. “Do you not enjoy the setup that we have done here for you?”

“It’s wonderful Hershel, but as a father, I’m sure you know how I feel wanting to be close to my children,” Negan reasoned with Maggie’s father, setting his things down on top of the bed and throwing his hands up in the air. “My children mean everything to me.”

“Which is why I picked this room for you. It’s right above the rooms that they will be staying in,” Hershel informed Negan, tapping his foot on the old wooden floorboards. “It’s spacious, you have your own space and you are right over your children.”

“I kind of feel like we started off on the wrong foot here Hershel,” Negan insisted rubbing his hands together. Stepping forward, he could tell by the look on Hershel’s face that he wasn’t going to change his opinion on him. “I very much like both of your daughters. One of them is my boss and the other has been in my life for about six months. I’d like to be able to get along with you sir because both Y/N and Maggie are important people in my life. And I think you’re important to them. So I’d really like it if you gave me a chance to prove myself to you.”

“Negan, I appreciate that you’re a good father,” Hershel looked down after Negan held his hand out in attempts to have them shake it out. “That’s something I admire about you. I see that your children love you. That, I will nod my head to. But the fact you’re dating Maggie is not something that I can accept. My daughter never wanted to be a city girl. She goes out there to test things out because of her sister and then she meets you. After she meets you, she decides that she wants to stay out there in New York City all alone. It just doesn’t sit right with me. A woman giving up her life for a man.”

“When I met Maggie sir, she was in an apartment of her own. She seemed very much moved in at that point,” Negan thought back to when he first met Maggie. Making it sound like Negan was the reason Maggie was in the city was kind of absurd. “I swear to you that I would never force your daughter into something that she didn’t want. I promise you that I didn’t soil your daughter.”

That was truthfully an understatement. Even when they had sex for the first time, it was Maggie that had dragged Negan back into the bathroom with her. Maggie seemed very comfortable with the idea of fucking a stranger she had just met and fought with. So it wasn’t like Negan got his claws into her and brought her to the dark side. Of course, he wasn’t about to tell her father that though. Her father thought Maggie was an angel and Negan was an evildoer that turned his daughter against him.

“I just want us to be okay,” Negan reasoned with Hershel, wanting nothing more than for things to be comfortable at least while he was here. Having the two women in his life having their father hate him was not something he wanted. “For Maggie. For my children.”

“I’ll be as friendly with you as possible Negan, but I don’t like you,” Hershel declared letting Negan know there wasn’t much of a chance between the two of them to lose the tension that was undoubtedly there. “Y/N might respect you. Maggie might be dating you. But I know the kind of man you are. And I just don’t see this whole thing working. I’ll see you downstairs.”

Lowering his hand, Negan huffed and shook his head when Hershel left him alone up in the attic. Walking around, Negan wondered what it was about him that made Hershel hate him immediately. Heading for the window, Negan stared out it to get a feeling for where he would be staying. At least the view was pretty enough. It would be a pain in the ass in the morning when he was sleeping with the sun rising, but he would have to just deal with it and find a way to make things work.

Maybe sometimes he would just sneak down to be with Erin at night because this was strange. Sure, it was quiet enough for him to work, but being alone in an attic while his children were downstairs left him feeling uncomfortable. He was separated from everyone. Even Glenn got his own room.

Instead of unpacking, Negan just headed downstairs to be with Beau and Erin. They were in the room that Beau would be staying in and they were both already at the old arcade game playing with it. They both seemed amused that he was staying in the attic, more so Beau because he understood that Negan was in hot water with Maggie’s father.

“Have you ever played something like this? This seems like it’s from your time period,” Beau glanced over at his father while in the middle of playing the game. It made Negan place his hand over his chest and let out a dramatic sound. “I’m just saying, it seems old.”

“And there it is, my boy calling me old,” Negan stood up from the bed that they had given Beau and moved in beside his children to look at the game. “See, I would play, but I’d just be so good at it that I would destroy your record…so…”

“Oh, yeah? Okay old man,” Beau teased his father hearing the snort that followed from Negan.

“I’m going to go check in with Maggie really quick. I’ll be right back,” Negan squeezed over Beau’s shoulder before peppering a quick kiss over Erin’s cheek and then going to the room they had left Maggie at. Knocking on the door, Negan heard Maggie call out to him to have him enter and Negan gave her a grimace when he snuck into her room. “Will I get shot for coming in here?”

“Depends on his mood,” Maggie half laughed motioning Negan into her bedroom as he closed the door behind him. Hopping onto Maggie’s bed, Negan grunted when he heard the squeak of a stuffed animal that he sat on. Digging underneath him, Negan lifted the stuffed animal out and wiggled it at Maggie noticing the color that flooded into her cheeks. “I know, I know.”

“So this was your room, huh?” Negan looked around the space taking in all the things that were there. Gazing from the posters on her walls, to the bookshelf and what was on her dressers Negan couldn’t help but snicker. “Did you sneak a lot of boys in here when you were younger?”

“Enough to give my daddy a heart attack,” Maggie set down what she was working on to sit on the bed with Negan. Extending her fingers out, she brushed them through Negan’s hair and led him to her lips in a lingering kiss.

“You should have warned me I was going to be a target coming in here,” Negan’s laugh vibrated against her bottom lip, leaning back enough to gaze over her. “Your dad hates me. Y’know he put me in the attic? While it’s a nice space, it’s still an attic with a lot of dust and you know I have really bad allergies.”

“Oh, you poor baby,” Maggie frowned brushing his hair back, leaning in to press a stronger kiss over Negan’s lips. It took a minute, but she giggled when she pulled away. “Did he really put you in the attic?”

“He sure fucking did,” Negan laid back against Maggie’s bed, looking up at the ceiling with a sigh. “Your family is intense.”

“We’re really not that bad,” Maggie suggested laying in beside Negan and placing her head on his shoulder. Hooking her fingers with Negan’s, she cuddled her head in closer to him and heard the snicker that followed.

“There are a lot of things to unravel here Maggie. You have a younger sister who is my boss and you had no idea she was my boss,” Negan pointed out with a huff, his mind still lingering on Y/N. “And your dad visibly hates her. You haven’t talked to her in years…”

“How did you know she was my younger sister?” Maggie wondered, lifting her head up to stare out at Negan with curiosity in her eyes.

“I’m pretty sure when you went to introduce us you said she was your younger sister,” Negan reasoned with Maggie and she shook her head. “Well, then it’s probably me putting two and two together. We talked about her family at one point and she mentioned being the middle child.”

“You talked about her family? About us?” Maggie lifted her head enough showing her surprise in knowing that her sister talked about their family to Negan. “I didn’t think your boss even liked you.”

“Yeah, well we had a heart-to-heart last night after finishing a project she had me working on all night,” Negan explained knowing that calling it a heart to heart may have been a good explanation for the first part of their time together, but there was also that other thing that they did together. That thing he wasn’t about to tell Maggie. Not when he was in the same house as her hostile father that would likely kill him if he found out he had an affair on Maggie.

“What did she tell you about us?” Maggie inquired, her eyebrow arching in curiosity and Negan didn’t know if talking about that would be right since it was the two of them bonding. “I can’t imagine it’s been good things since she’s been away from this family for so long. Things just got so difficult in the past with her and my dad.”

“Why did you stop talking to her?” Negan pushed knowing that he didn’t see Maggie as the type to turn her sister away. He wasn’t about to talk about the things that they went into last night. Especially not in depth. It was really none of Maggie’s business what they talked about.

“It’s complicated,” Maggie sat up enough to brace her weight while her fingers traced over the center of Negan’s chest. “Her and daddy had a fight. Y/N and I were always very close, she just had a really strong personality. We all loved her. I do love her. It just made it hard staying close to her when she left. Daddy got mad every time we mentioned her and then she moved away. I guess I just got used to her being gone.”

Maggie took her time to contemplate things letting out an extended sigh the longer she thought about things, “She’s actually the reason I finally took a chance on the city. I went out to New York because of her and I stayed because of the things she told me. She was always the more adventurous one. The real leader of the pack.”  

“And you never tried to call her?” Negan was surprised to hear all of that, his hand reaching up to brush some of the hair that fell in her face away. It had Maggie reaching up with her other hand to caress over his. “You just don’t seem like that kind of person Maggie.”

“I think we both got lost,” she reasoned with Negan, her eyes shifting off in contemplation while her thumb caressed at Negan’s pulse point. “I need to talk to her again. Make things right. I know daddy was hard on her with things.”

“And you were…are…his favorite,” Negan noted lifting up enough so that he was close to her on the bed. “I think if anyone could have a good influence on your father to fix things for them, it’s you. The only thing she said about this family is that her father was really hard on her. I can see that. And that her older sister was his favorite. That’s clear as day. Especially in the way that man hates me.”

Both of them snickered when she pressed her head forward to rest it against his, “I’m sorry Negan. My father has some issues. With me caring about you, I would have hoped that he would have given you a chance. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Negan caressed his fingers over her jawline letting out a long sigh while he nuzzled his nose in against hers. It was sad because Negan really liked Maggie. They had a decent relationship, but he loved her more like a friend. So in a sense, he loved her, but it just didn’t feel like he was head over heels in love with her. “I do think you should try to fix things with your sister. She’s a good person. But I think she’s sad.”

“Sad? She’s the strongest person that I know,” Maggie tipped her head back enough, her lips parting when Negan swept his fingers in over her jawline. “I could never see her being sad.”

“I think she feels lonely,” Negan reasoned with Maggie, his head tipping from side to side while he thought about the night before. Sad understood sad. That’s what Negan tried to explained to Y/N last night. Maggie wasn’t sad, so it was harder for her to understand when someone was lost in themselves like both Negan and Y/N were.  

“Why would she be lonely?” Maggie questioned and it made Negan sigh when her palm slid in over the side of his face. “She has an incredible job. If she’s your boss, that means she’s rolling in the dough. She’s engaged…she has the life a lot of people would want.”

“Sometimes…when you’re lonely…it doesn’t matter how good your life is in the eyes of others,” Negan thought back on his own life, his chest aching when he thought about the pain and anguish he had over being alone. “Sometimes when you are lonely, you make choices that don’t make sense to you because you never want to feel lonely again. Look at me. I have the two best kids I could ever ask for. An amazing job, a beautiful apartment in the city…but the loneliness, the sadness…it ate me alive for almost two years. And to this day…that darkness still engulfs me. I think it bothers her that she no longer has her family. She told me that her dad thought he was poisoning her sisters’ minds.”

“I can see how she thought that,” Maggie acknowledged, her thumb tracing over the side of his face through his short beard. “Why don’t you tell me that you feel that way Negan?”

“Because I try to hide it. I have two kids to keep happy. They don’t need to see that side of me. And you…you’re always smiling and happy,” Negan began shaking his head knowing that it probably wasn’t the best time to be telling Maggie these things. “Like you said, I should be happy. But I’m just not. And that scares me sometimes.”

It seemed like there was so much that Maggie wanted to say, but instead she moved forward to give Negan a hug. Something like that? That was the kind of affection Negan appreciated. Just having someone to talk to and hug him? A lot of the time, Negan didn’t think Maggie would be able to understand his feelings, but having her hug him like that was nice.

“I just want you to be happy Negan,” she whispered, pressing a loving kiss over Negan’s cheek, nuzzling her nose in against it. Pulling back enough, she dragged her thumb over Negan’s bottom lip which made him take in a long inhale. “No matter how angry you make me sometimes.”

“That happens a lot,” Negan joked with her, his nose wrinkling in amusement. Even though they did have a decent relationship, he could easily piss Maggie off and push her buttons. At least they were honest with each other about that. Closing his eyes, Negan felt Maggie pressing in closer to him. With her lips hovering over his, Negan hummed when she brought their lips together. Kissing her back, Negan’s fingers brushed into her hair, his fingers caressing over her scalp while she crawled in closer to him. Grunting, Negan felt her moving in over him, her hands cupping his face in her hands as her kisses grew in strength.

“Apparently dad is calling for us,” Y/N’s voice spoke up when the door pushed open and it made Maggie slightly pull away from Negan with a wet sound, her hands still cupping Negan’s face. Grunting, Negan could tell by the expression that flooded over Y/N’s face that she was upset catching them like that together. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt the two of you, dad just wants us to take the kids and the boys on the tour of everything.”

“Yeah, we’ll be there in a minute,” Maggie assured her sister with a half-smile, her finger sweeping over Negan’s jawline. “Thanks for letting me know.”

“Be careful with that,” Y/N circled her finger out toward them, her eyes locking with Negan’s. Noticing that Negan was breathing heavily, she wondered how far things would have gotten if she wouldn’t have walked in on the two of them. “You don’t want dad to bring the shotgun out.”

“Right,” Maggie snickered when Y/N closed the door behind her. Panic flooded Negan’s veins when Y/N left. Seeing that she looked upset bothered him. Then again, there was a mention of the shotgun and Negan deeply considered that.

“He really wouldn’t pull a shotgun out on me, would he?” Negan was hesitant in the way he laughed, but when he actually noticed that Maggie was contemplating that question, he felt his pulse leap. “Maggie? Would he?”

“It depends,” Maggie thought about the question and it put a look of fear in Negan’s features. “Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m gonna fucking worry about it,” Negan urged Maggie from over his hips to get her to sit down on the bed beside him. Getting up from the bed, he dragged his palm down over his face in a moment of tension. “That’s kind of a big deal Maggie. I don’t need your father shooting me dead with my children here.”

“He’s only pulled out the shotgun once before with one of my boyfriends when I was a teenager Negan,” Maggie reasoned with Negan hearing the worried sound that fell from Negan’s parted lips. “I’m an adult now Negan. My daddy wouldn’t do something like that.”

“I don’t know Maggie, by the way he’s acting toward me—I think he very much is capable of that,” Negan doubted what she was telling him. “I’m not going to get shot at on this trip, am I?”

“I think you’re going to be fine,” Maggie promised, stepping before Negan after getting off the bed. Caressing over the sides of his face was her attempt at calming him, but it wasn’t working. “Come on Negan, you shouldn’t worry about that kind of stuff.”

“After meeting your dad, yes. Yes, I fucking should,” Negan bickered with her more, but by the time that she was dragging him out in the hallway with her, he could see that the kids were outside talking to Maggie’s youngest sister who was showing them something.

“They are going to show us the horses,” Erin was excited to tell Negan about what was in their future when she turned away from Beth to run up before Negan. “I’ve never really been around horses daddy. Isn’t that exciting?”

“Of course it is baby girl,” Negan gave his daughter a wink, looking back when he heard the sound of a door opening. Seeing that it was Y/N heading out of her room, Negan lifted his finger up and motioned for them to go ahead without him. “I forgot something up in the attic. I’ll be right out. Okay? Watch the kids for me for a minute, would you Maggie?”

“You got it babe,” Maggie pat Negan on the chest before following Beau and Erin to the stairs.

Once they started heading down, Negan felt Y/N brushing past him to follow them. Before she could reach the stairs, Negan curled his fingers around her wrist to bring her to him. The nearest room for them was a bathroom and he pulled her in with him, closing the door behind him.

“What the hell?” Y/N gasped when Negan pushed her up against the door, his hazel eyes hooked on hers. Negan’s breathing was heavy, his lips parted while he stared down at her. “What the fuck are you doing Negan?”

“I’m sorry,” Negan apologized, his hands pulling from her shoulders and he rest his hands on his hips while he stood before her. “When you came into the room and saw Maggie with me like that…”

“Why are you apologizing to me because I walked in on you kissing your girlfriend Negan?” Y/N challenged, her eyebrows wrinkling in confusion. Throwing her hands up in the air, she sighed loudly and shifted before him. “I’m the one that is engaged to Glenn. I can’t get upset with you for being handsy with your girlfriend. I told you last night was just a high from the sex and confusion from the alcohol.”

“But it’s not,” Negan was adamant, shaking his head when she denied what they had last night. “All I’ve been able to think about since last night is you. I keep thinking about how you made me feel. Not just about the sex, but the connection that we have.”

“What connection Negan? You’re my sister’s boyfriend and you’re my co-worker. I’m your boss,” she reminded him, the hitch in her voice giving away that she was actually upset about everything. “This would have never worked in the first place. But now that you’re Maggie’s boyfriend? There is no fucking way Negan.”

“Why?” Negan frowned, attempting to reach out to touch her, but she grabbed his wrists and lowered them down.

“You know why Negan,” Y/N hesitated, her fingers squeezing slightly at his wrists. “There are so many reasons why none of this will work for us. We had a moment. We enjoyed each other very much, but it was a onetime thing. It can never happen again. You’re with Maggie. I’m with Glenn. We have to forget about it.”

“I don’t want to forget about it,” Negan pled with her, stepping forward to slam the door shut when she opened it to try to leave. Trapping her between him and the door, he took advantage of the small space that was there capturing her jaw between his thumb and index finger with his other fingers curling around the side of her neck. The warmth of his breath lingered over her lips drawing her eyes to fluttered to a close, her head tipping up toward him. “No, the chemistry between us is too strong Y/N. We both know it. We can’t pretend like it never happened.”

“Negan, please,” she whimpered right before his lips claimed hers. Placing her hand at the center of his chest, she could feel herself weakening at the knees with the way he was kissing her. Kissing him back was almost involuntary because her body knew even against better judgement that she loved kissing him. It felt good. Negan could sweep her off her feet with his kisses. And even though she tried to convince herself that it was a momentary lapse of bad judgement from being drunk, the response her body had to him kissing her was proving to her that wasn’t true. Purring out, she sank her fingers into Negan’s hair, her lips parting almost begging for him to reward her with the tender sweep of his tongue against hers. When he gave her what she asked for, he pressed his body against hers, his fingers growing tighter around the side of her neck. God she could get lost in this. Yet, it was the sound of movement outside the door that alerted her that she needed to stop this. Tearing her lips away from his was the hardest thing she could have done in that moment. Breathless, she knew that she needed to get her shit together. She was in her father’s home. Maggie was there and so were Negan’s children. They couldn’t do this shit. “This has to stop.”

“Wait,” Negan begged, but she pushed away from him and headed out of the bathroom. Trying to follow her, Negan got down the stairs with her. “Please, just wait.”

“Negan, enough,” Y/N didn’t stop or wait for them to even talk. Swiftly moving throughout the house, she pushed open the door and stopped immediately when she saw that her father had everyone with him standing at the steps. Her quick halt had Negan running into her and she gasped when he grabbed to make sure she didn’t fall. “You’re all just waiting here?”

“Well we couldn’t do a tour without the two of you, could we?” Hershel retorted with a huff waving them on. Swallowing down hard, Y/N managed to sneak away from Negan over to Glenn who was wearing a white long-sleeved shirt with a baseball jersey over it. He had a baseball cap on and Negan scoffed. Glenn didn’t even seem like Y/N’s type and he didn’t understand why she was with him. It’s not like he was a bad guy from what he could tell, it was just a strange pairing. “Let’s go Negan.”

“Yes sir,” Negan moved down the steps, reaching to grab Erin adjusting her so that he was giving her a piggyback ride while they moved across the yard. Standing between Beau and Maggie, Negan stole a glance over at Y/N noticing that she was looking at him while she walked hand in hand with Glenn. When their eyes connected, Y/N turned away and looked down at their feet.

“You’re going to love seeing Nelly. She was my horse,” Maggie tugged faintly at Erin’s jacket to get her attention. “If you want and it’s okay with your dad, I can probably take you on a ride. Would you like that?”

“Can I do that daddy?” Erin wondered making Negan look back over his shoulder at her. “I’ve never ridden a horse before.”

“You’re sure you’re capable of doing that with her and being safe?” Negan was worried knowing that with Maggie mentioning it, Erin wouldn’t be able to get it out of her mind. It’s just Negan was really uncomfortable with the idea of it.

“Maggie won a lot of awards when she was younger for horseback riding,” Beth’s voice called out from where she was walking beside Beau. “I think she will be okay.”

“I just worry,” Negan admitted trusting Maggie enough with his daughter, but horses were unpredictable. When Negan was younger, he would often visit the farm that his grandparents owned, but that was a long time ago. He always loved animals, but he knew that some animals when scared did things they didn’t always mean to. “If you think you can keep her safe, then I’ll trust you.”

“I can,” Maggie assured Negan with a half-smile while they headed over toward the stables on the property. Once the large doors opened, Negan stayed back and let out a long sigh knowing that this was the last thing he expected to be doing for Christmas this year. Touring a barn in the middle of nowhere. It was like he was back in his childhood days. “Nelly.”

Maggie was the first one into the barn heading over to the horse that was hers. It made Negan smile seeing the excitement that she had for it. It wasn’t normal for Maggie to have that kind of reaction to things and he was happy that she did have something that made her happy in some sense. Hershel followed her in and stepped in beside her reaching out to pet the muzzle of the horse.

“Come here,” Maggie waved Beau forward who seemed uneasy at first before joining them in petting the horse. Reaching for Erin, Maggie grabbed her from Negan and held Erin in front of Nelly to allow both Negan’s children to enjoy the moment.

“Do you have your own horse too?” Negan looked to Beth who was standing behind him and she immediately shook her head.

“No, we have a few horses here that I help take care of, but this one is Maggie’s and…” Beth moved around Negan to reach for Y/N’s hand pulling her sister down until they stopped in front of a stall. Seeing the horse seemed to have Y/N freeze up. “And this one is Y/N’s.”

“Dakota,” Y/N stepped forward to caress in over the horse’s mane. Seeing the horse appeared to have shocked her. “You kept him?”

“Of course I kept him,” Hershel grunted from where he was standing with Maggie and the children. “You may have abandoned him, but he didn’t deserve to be thrown away like the rest of us.”

Clearing his throat, Negan knew that he wanted to say something, but with how Hershel already felt about him it was best not to say anything at all. What came out of Hershel’s mouth hurt Y/N, there was no hiding the expression that flooded her features. Instead of staying where he was, Negan moved down the aisle to step in beside Y/N. With him next to her, she stole a quick look at him before Negan nodded toward Dakota.

“May I?” Negan asked for permission first to touch her horse. Once she gave him the okay, Negan flattened his palm out over the forehead of the horse that seemed to lean into the touch. “I take it you rode horses in the past too?”

“Yeah,” Y/N nodded and after Negan joined her, it felt like Glenn thought he had to as well moving in on the other side. “Dakota is my old man. We share a lot of memories together.”

“She gave up competitive horse riding, just like she did everything else,” Hershel piped in when he moved over toward them where they were at the stall. Y/N’s eyes closed tightly and she bit down on her bottom lip. Just by the way she was reacting Negan could tell she was doing everything she could not to fight with her father. Sliding his hand down, Negan’s fingers loosely hooked with hers to support her. It had her eyes lazily opening, her eyes connected with his and he gave her a weak smile. “Dakota was our most talented back then. Now, he just makes for a good pet. He’s too old to compete, but he sure is beautiful.”

“We’ve got Nelly, Dakota, Apollo, Lucky, Casper and Cinnamon,” Beth listed off the names of their horses, pushing her hands into her pockets when she let out a long sigh. “These are kind of our stars on the farm. We have other animals, but they are the ones people seem to be drawn to. We have chickens, hens, ducks, pigs…”

“We feed them every morning and evening so if you’re ever up and interested on this trip we will happily take the help,” Hershel informed them pacing the stables to check on all of the horses that were there. “We also have a barn on the property, but it’s really just used to store things. We have hay in there, food supplies. It’s not as interesting.”

“You want to go for a ride?” Negan heard Maggie ask Erin and he tensed up hearing it knowing that he agreed to it, but the idea of it made him nervous. Moving away from Y/N left it open for Glenn to whisper something to her as Negan went back to his children. Maggie noticed the worry in Negan’s eyes and she gave him a confident smile. “Trust me, everything is going to be okay.”

“You’re kind of holding my world in your hands, so…” Negan commented and it made Maggie smile as she handed Erin back over to Negan. Panic flooded his veins while Maggie got Nelly prepared to be ridden. Once Maggie had everything ready and they were standing outside, Maggie hopped up on the horse and reached for Erin. “You sure you don’t want to practice a little? By the sounds of things, it’s been a while since you’ve been on a horse.”

“It’s like riding a bike,” Maggie explained hearing Negan grumble when Erin reached her arms out to Maggie.

“A very unpredictable, living bike that can throw you off of them and break her,” Negan heard Beau choke and a laugh fell from his throat at his father’s worries. Once he handed Erin off to Maggie, he felt Beau’s hand pressing in over the center of his back trying to comfort him. “Please be safe.”

“I promise,” Maggie got Erin situated before starting to ride slowly across the plot of land.

“In this case, I trust Maggie,” Beau informed Negan while they watched the girls riding the horse. “I think she knows what she is doing dad.”

“It’s hard giving you kids away to other people and trust them to keep your lives safe,” Negan admitted to his son, his hazel eyes filled with worry. Clearing his throat uneasily, Negan saw that Y/N and Beth were both getting two other horses out to ride, but he was so stressfully focused on Maggie with Erin. “I love you both so much.”

“And we don’t doubt that,” Beau assured his father with a sigh hearing Hershel calling out to the both of them.

“You want to help me get these horses fed before the snow is supposed to start tonight?” Hershel asked of them and even though Negan wanted to watch to make sure that his daughter was safe, he agreed to do it. Beau was eager to help as well and Hershel had Glenn helping him too since all of the girls were out riding horses. “Beau, I’ll have you and Glenn go grab some of the grain from the back room I instructed Glenn to grab. Negan, there is a bucket that one of the horses kicked over in their stall that I need you to grab.”

“Sure,” Negan stepped before the stall that Hershel pointed at. Rubbing his hands together, Negan looked back at Hershel and shrugged. “Aren’t you going to grab the horse while I get the bucket?”

“Why would I do that?” Hershel folded his arms out in front of his chest. Letting out a hesitant sound, Negan stepped forward waiting for Hershel to open it for him. The horse remained still, but Negan paused thinking it over again. “Well go on son. I need to get this moving so the horse doesn’t get hurt.”

“I just kind of remember hearing something when I was a kid that you shouldn’t get behind a horse,” Negan explained to Hershel staring out at the larger horse knowing there wasn’t much room for him to move around it. “I think maybe you should get this guy out before I even attempt to grab it. My grandparents had a farm when I was younger and I just…”

“Forget it, I’ll just get Glenn to do it,” Hershel waved Negan off hearing him grunt under his breath before side stepping forward. Trying to move around the horse, Negan reached for the bucket to hear it jangle when he lifted it. It caused the horse to get uncomfortable, kicking its back legs out that Negan managed to avoid. Once the horse started jumping about, it had Negan scrambling to try to find a place for him not to get hurt. It ended up with Negan falling into the mud that was behind the horse face first, the horse running out of the stall and Hershel letting out a big belly laugh. “Well, you weren’t supposed to spook it son!”

“Dad?” Beau ran out to see that Negan was slowly pulling himself up from the mud. It was hard because Beau was worried, but at the same time amused to see that Negan was absolutely covered in mud. Instead of laughing, he tried to bite back on his amusement and stepped forward to help pull his dad up.

“Are you alright?” Glenn joined Negan in the stall, grabbing a hold of the other arm of him. Both Beau and Glenn were doing their best to avoid getting the mud on them that Negan was covered in. “What happened?”

“He spooked the horse,” Hershel explained to them, but Negan knew that he was set up from the start. He was lucky that he didn’t get killed from the horse trying to kick him.

“Daddy, why in the world was Apollo out…” Maggie came back after leading the horse that had run off back into the stalls. Once Maggie got a look at Negan, she turned on her heel and glared out at her father. “Daddy, what did you do?”

“What happened?” Y/N came back into the barn while Beth tended to their horses outside. All of them had headed back when they saw Apollo running free outside the barn. Erin moved in beside Y/N letting out a worried breath when she saw Negan.

“He had me grab a bucket and told me we didn’t need to move the horse for me to get it,” Negan claimed tossing the bucket out in front of Hershel who looked amused with his antics. “I almost died.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re fine,” Hershel blew off Negan’s words, but it immediately had both Maggie and Y/N infuriated with him. “Your boyfriend is being a little emotional right now because he’s embarrassed that he fell in mud and who knows what else.”

“This is just like you,” Y/N stormed around her father toward the back office to grab a towel for Negan. Moving forward, she tried to help him get some of the mud from his face hearing her father cackling in the back. “Negan never had a fucking chance with you. You know that Apollo gets antsy around people. Yet you did this anyways.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Hershel threw his hands up in the air acting innocent with his actions. “We were just getting ready to feed the horses. You can ask Beau and Glenn. They will tell ya. There was a bucket in there that I didn’t want Apollo to get hurt on and Negan went to get it. It’s not my fault that he spooked the horse.”

“She’s not wrong daddy. You knew that Apollo would do exactly what he did. We’ve always known Apollo to be like this,” Maggie shamed her father, moving forward to reach for the towel that Y/N had knowing that Negan was her boyfriend and it should be her that was helping him. “You’ve been like this with all of my boyfriends. And this time it’s not right. Negan had Beau and Erin here. He’s a father and I won’t stand by this behavior. These pranks are dangerous and if you pull another one, we’re going to leave. I love you daddy and I want to be here, but this is the last time.”

“I see,” Hershel’s glare on Negan was extreme, if there was a chance that he would ever like Negan it went right out the window at that moment. With Maggie threatening him to leave, it sure as hell made Hershel hate Negan. Especially having his favorite daughter defending the man he just tried to potentially kill. Looking to his watch, Hershel huffed and shrugged his shoulders. Sucking on his bottom lip, Hershel pointed at the stalls and sighed. “We are supposed to meet your cousin at the restaurant we go to every year. We need to get these horses fed and head out.”

“You know, I don’t think I’m going to be able to go to any restaurants,” Negan called out from where he was standing knowing that he was soaked in mud. “I think the only thing calling out to me right now is a shower. Maggie, do you mind watching over Beau and Erin at dinner?”

“Of course baby,” Maggie went to touch him, but then thought it over for a second with how dirty he was. “I’ll get you a meal and bring it home.”

“You might want to hose him down first before he goes in the house. We don’t need him trekking that mud throughout the whole house,” Hershel blew off the idea of Negan, not a care in the world that he almost just killed Negan.

More than anything Negan wanted to rip into this man. For what he had done to him. For his nasty comments toward Y/N, but Negan kept his mouth shut. This was the first day and he was going to be stuck in the same home with this man for a while.

“I’ll help you dad,” Beau led Negan toward the hose he had seen in the back with Glenn when they had grabbed the grain that Hershel had asked them too. When they were alone, Beau nodded back toward Maggie who was getting help from Glenn getting Apollo back in the stall. “I know you like Maggie, but are you starting to think now about how you should probably let this romance go?”

“Beau, I don’t even know what to say right now,” Negan grumbled under his breath splashing some water in his face and getting his clothes clean from the mud. “I had no idea her dad was a psychopath.”

“It just looks like you’re dating the wrong daughter,” Beau suggested and it immediately made Negan lift his head up to stare out at Beau. “I mean, he’s not trying to kill Glenn. You should be dating Y/N because at least if you were dating her, you’d be safe.”

Beau was trying to joke with Negan, but he had no idea how Negan actually felt about her so it made the conversation awkward.

“I remember grandpa giving you a hard time, but this guy…” Beau shook his head when he stole another look back at Hershel. “He’s got issues.”

“Understatement of the year,” Negan noticed that Erin was walking out to them to check on him. Offering up a big cheesy smile had Erin giggling. “Daddy is just going to take a shower. You be good for your brother and Maggie, okay?”

“Of course daddy,” she tipped up on her toes to press a kiss over the side of Negan’s cheek when he leaned down. “I’ll wait until you are dry for the hugs.”

“Good choice baby girl,” Negan winked at his daughter, said his goodbyes to everyone once he was ready to head into the house with the towels they had given him to dry himself off. To the best of his ability at least. He was careful not the mess the house when he made his way to the second level bathroom where he was earlier with Y/N. At this point, he was just thankful to have a break from the whole Greene family.

A hot shower gave him time to think things out. Maybe it was just best to avoid Hershel this whole trip. Bury himself in his work at every chance and just stick to his children. It may have been the only way for him to stay alive and not get himself killed. It took a while for the water to get hot before Negan hopped into the shower. This was nothing like his home and his modern shower that he had. It was old fashioned to the core and it brought back old memories for Negan.

After his shower, Negan got dressed and draped the towel over his shoulders. He figured he would just work for a while until everyone got back home. At least in the attic he would have his own space and be safe from getting hurt. Heading up the stairs to the attic, he let out a surprised breath when he saw that Christmas lights were now lighting up the space. It made his heart skip a beat when he saw that someone was hanging them up. Dropping his head, Negan closed his eyes when he thought back to his past when Lucille would do the same kind of thing. Pinching his nose, he cussed to himself hating that a memory from his past hit him so hard.

“Are you okay?” Y/N’s voice called out to him making Negan lower his hand to stare out at her from where she was standing on a chair stringing up some lights. “I heard that my dad put you up here and I thought…I would just make it homier. So it feels more like a holiday for you.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” Negan insisted, going to put his dirty clothes in a bag so that way things were still clean. Actually, Negan was impressed. She got out a lot of things while he was in the shower. There was a faux tree in the corner of the attic with light strung up that she was finishing. “What are you doing here? I thought everyone was going out to dinner.”

“Yeah, well…I told them I got a call from work and that I wouldn’t be able to go with them,” she explained to Negan as he stepped in beside her and attempted to help her with what she was finishing up. “I lied. But I told Glenn to go with them, so it’s just us here.”

“Oh?” Negan’s eyebrow arched in curiosity while she outstretched just far enough to let out a tense breath. Placing his hand over the small of her back, Negan made sure that she was safe before she returned to a flat-footed position.

“I wanted to check in on you and help with this…” she threw her hands up to look around the place that her father had thrown Negan for the time that they were there. “Thankfully my father is predictable and keeps the decorations in the same place he did when I was a kid so this was easy to do. All we need is a few stockings and some decorations on the tree. The tree already had lights in it so we don’t have to do that.”

“Yeah?” Negan mused, finding himself curious with the way that she was. This was something he would have found Lucille doing in his past, so the fact this is what she was doing enamored him. “This is nice.”

“I hope it makes you feel more comfortable,” she finished with the lights, grabbing Negan’s hand when he helped her down from the chair. Stumbling, she fell in against Negan’s chest and his hazel eyes narrowed down at her. “It’s the least I could do with what my father did.”

“He’s crazy,” Negan noted without even thinking about it. There was no fucking around. Hershel hated him and it was clear as day. “He tried killing me today with that horse.”

“I told you my dad was something else,” she reminded him, patting him on the center of the chest when she pushed herself into a standing position before him. “I don’t know why I bothered coming here. It was stupid to begin with. The only thing it did was fuck everything up more.”

“I know you’re upset you saw me kissing Maggie,” Negan frowned folding his arms in front of his chest noticing that she was having a hard time looking at him. “I told you, I’m not in love with Maggie. What I said about my girlfriend was true. It doesn’t change things now that it’s Maggie.”

“Negan, it changes everything,” she shook her head moving around him to start putting some of the decorations on the tree. “Maggie is my sister. They can’t find out that I had sex with her boyfriend. I told you that Maggie was my dad’s favorite. If it comes out, my dad will try to kill you and who knows what he will do to me.”

“You’re worth the worry,” Negan claimed grabbing a few of the decorations to help her put them on the tree that she put out for him. “I don’t care if Maggie is your sister. I know how I feel about you. I love Maggie, but I love Maggie in a way that someone loves one of their best friends. I’m not in love with Maggie. We don’t have that spark that I’ve been missing. The spark that you and I have...”

“You’re making this complicated Negan,” she reasoned with him, trying to focus on the tree and less on him. “You’re with my sister. You’re dating my perfect, loved, popular older sister. And there is nothing we can do to change that. It’s best we pretend that what happened the other day is nothing but a dream between us.”

“I don’t want to pretend,” Negan hushed her, grabbing her and forcing her to look at him. “Y/N, what we felt the other night, it was incredible. The sex was great, sure, but what we felt…how alike we are. When I see you, you remind me of everything I loved in the past.”

“We can’t talk like this Negan,” she declared only to feel his hands grabbing a hold of hers leading her toward the bed to sit down on it. “Negan?”

“Just talk things out with me for a minute,” Negan begged of her, his thumbs stroking in over the back of her hands. By the look over her face, he knew that she was trying to avoid this stuff, but he needed to talk to her. “First of all, Glenn is cute and everything, but that guy seems way too boring for you.”

“Glenn is cute?” she repeated what he said, her eyebrows bouncing up in amusement. “The reason you think he is boring is because you’re…you.”

“He barely talks and anytime someone looks at him, he blushes,” Negan thought back to her fiancé and he shook his head. “Come on Y/N. You’re a ball busting bad ass that grabs men by the balls and makes them do whatever she wants whenever she wants.”

Instead of saying anything, she rolled her eyes and shook her head. He knew with her being here that her ego would be smaller and he hated that for her. Especially with how her father treated her about things.

“What did you and your father fight about?” Negan pondered the thing that he had heard mentioned several times. “The thing that made you stop talking.”

“They all stopped talking to me after that,” Y/N alerted Negan with a half laugh, but he knew that it hurt her. It didn’t make her feel good to think about it. A sense of shock flooded her veins when Negan’s fingers hooked with hers, his eyebrows furrowing in the hopes of understanding how she felt. Holding her hand like that was his way of showing support and he could tell that it took some coaching inside of herself to open up to Negan. “I was leaving for college. He wanted me to stay out here. Run the farm like the rest of the family. I didn’t want that. I loved art, my father thought it was a useless talent. I got accepted to an art school in the city and it was everything I wanted, but he didn’t give me his approval. Told me if I went out there, I would be out on my own. He’d never help me. I told him that he cared more about his life and what he wanted for his family than what his family actually wanted. I told him he was holding his family back and he’d never let them truly live. He told me if I left, he was going to get rid of my horse, my things and never speak to me again. He did one of the three. If it was up to him, I wouldn’t be here right now. It was Beth and Annette that reached out to me.”

“That’s rough,” Negan sighed, his thumb sweeping over the back of her hand while he held onto it. “Your parents should always push the best for you. They should want you to achieve your dreams. Not live the dreams that they wanted.”

“Sounds like from our conversation you know exactly what it was like with your father,” she reasoned with Negan who snorted and shook his head.

“My father wanted me to be a ball player more than anything. Bragging rights to his friends really,” Negan thought back to when he was younger and he simply shrugged his shoulders. “But I got hurt and after that he really didn’t give a shit.”

“Your dad and my dad are such assholes,” she suggested dropping back on the bed that was Negan’s with a sigh. Carefully moving in beside her, Negan laid with her and gazed over at her with his big eyes. Still even laying down they were holding hands and it was strange how comfortable she found herself with Negan. “I should have just kept giving you shit last night. Told you what a piece of shit you are. Instead of kissing you like I did.”

“I am a piece of shit still,” Negan snickered, his eyebrows bouncing up in amusement when she tipped her head to connect her eyes with his. “Just because you like me doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. I like you too. What happened between us, it was meant to happen. I wish you could see that.”

“Your son and daughter are beautiful,” she complimented him knowing that she hadn’t really focused on that bit. It was easier to bring up his children instead of concentrating on what he was saying between them. “Your son looks exactly like you. And your daughter has the dimples and the smile. You can tell they are your children. It’s cute.”

“Yeah, they are pretty cute. It’s how they get away with everything,” Negan responded showing that he was genuinely happy talking about his children. “Thankfully for Erin she got most of her mama’s looks. Beau, he’s awesome. Good at everything. Amazing artist. Better than I ever was at his age, but I think this whole Christmas thing is effecting him more than anyone without his mom. His mom and him were really close. So this time of the year is rough for him. He does his best, but…”

“He’s still human,” she noted giving Negan time to think about it before exhaling loudly and nodding. “They are lucky to have you. You can tell you love them. It’s sweet. Do they like Maggie?”

“Yes…and no,” Negan laughed out loud remembering what his kids were like last night. “Maggie is very…uptight. And their mother wasn’t. So they like her, but they don’t. If that makes sense.”

“It does,” she found herself leaning her head in closer to Negan’s while they laid there. “My sister is bubbly, friendly, but she needs to be in control of everything. It all has to be perfect and precise. And while I understand that, there needs to be wiggle room for more.”

“Maybe…maybe we can just run away with the kids?” Negan stammered, his words coming out in a stutter. The suggestion alone made her scoff thinking it was a joke. “I can break up with Maggie, you can let Glenn go and I’ll just take you back to my apartment. We can decorate the thing. It could use your touch and the kids would like it. What you even did with this room in the time that you had is incredible.”

“Knock it off,” she poked Negan in the ribs. The idea sounded ridiculous, but running away from here didn’t sound all that bad. Especially if it was with Negan.

“Are you less interested in me because I have children?” Negan wondered interested in finding out why she didn’t want to be with him now.

“If anything, I’m more interested in you for being a father. It’s sexy seeing how much you love your kids and the way there is a glimmer in your eye just talking about them,” she confessed stroking her fingers over the center of Negan’s palm. “You know why I can’t run away with you. It was wrong before, it’s worse now that you are with Maggie. They already hate me as it is.”

“Maggie doesn’t hate you, Maggie just is her father’s puppet,” Negan corrected with a scoff knowing how capable people were of persuading their children to think one way or another. “But if that’s how you feel, then what do you care what they think if we get together?”

“You don’t want that Negan,” she went to ramble on until Negan’s fingers were curling underneath her chin to urge her jaw up. Brushing his lips over hers, Negan made the gesture soft and sweet. After all the stress of today it felt nice and she found herself getting more comfortable against him. “You make it hard to focus when you kiss me.”

“You like kissing me,” Negan snickered against her flesh, nibbling at her bottom lip. Teasing the tip of his tongue over her lips had her lips parting, her head arching up with her fingers curling around his neck. Brushing his tongue in against hers, Negan groaned out when her fingers sank into his dark hair. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since last night. I know what I want.”

“You don’t. It’s just like a drug Negan,” she tried to hush him hating how easily she was falling back into all of this. With Negan’s palm caressing up over the lengths of her abdomen and toward her breast, she purred when he cupped it tenderly. “You had a taste once and you think you need more of it.”

“I don’t think, I know,” he growled against her lips, nipping faintly at her flesh. Kissing down over her jawline and toward her neck, Negan couldn’t help himself. Even though they were alone in her family’s home, that didn’t affect him. “I want you more than you could ever begin to understand.”

“Negan,” she grabbed a hold of his wrist attempting to get him to pull his grasp from her. “You’ve slept with Maggie.”

“I’m pretty sure Maggie has slept with a lot of people,” Negan commented, his eyelids heavy and his eyes filled with want for the woman he had in his arms. “You shouldn’t feel bad for the way that things are. Yeah, the world has a fucked-up way of making these things work, but we both knew last night that what we wanted wasn’t Glenn or Maggie.”

“Last night we were drunk,” she was doing her best to contain herself with the warmth of Negan’s breath over her lips. Getting drunk on Negan’s kisses was something she longed for and she wasn’t holding him off very well. “We were saying things.”

“But they were all true,” Negan huffed, his lips claiming hers again drawing her to turn in closer to him. “I haven’t had a fire inside of my heart like I do when I’m with you in a very long time. And I know you feel it too.”

“I have been such a bitch to you over the last few months and suddenly you are smitten with me?” she pulled her lips from his, her hand placing in over the center of his chest trying to talk some sense into the both of them. “Yes, you are incredibly sexy and I find myself drawn to you, but I’m your boss. I took advantage of you last night…”

“I don’t care if you are my boss. I like when someone is feisty. I’ve always been attracted to people in power,” Negan reached for her hand, bringing it up to his mouth to deposit a kiss over the center of her palm. Shuddering, her eyes fluttered to a close when he started pressing his kisses down over her pulse point. “I promise I’m a good boy. I will be able to do my work and still be endlessly yours after work.”

“Fuck…” she whimpered with his tongue flicking out over her flesh drawing chills to flood her body. “Negan, this is wrong…good people don’t do this. Nice people don’t do this.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been accused of being good Y/N,” Negan rumbled, his lips hovering back over hers again when he pressed his body in closer to hers. Warmth radiated from his body beside her and she felt a chill flooding her spine. “But for you…I’ll be whatever you want me to be. I just want to be yours so incredibly fucking bad.”

“But Maggie…” she whined with Negan’s lips skimming in over hers. Guilt did eat away at her with how much she found herself wanting to be near and around her sister’s boyfriend. Palming down the lengths of her body, Negan hooked his arm around her leg and drew her closer to him to hook it around his hip. “I can tell she likes you.”

“Maggie will survive. Glenn too,” Negan assured her, his fingers sliding up underneath her shirt. Once his rough fingertips collided with the warmth of her flesh, it had her raising up toward him wanting so badly to feel it. “But I won’t if I can’t be with you.”

“That’s dramatic,” she purred, her fingers dragging down over his chest reaching between them. Lowering her hand just enough, she palmed over the front of Negan’s pants making him pull his head back enough to look down at her touching him. His lips were parted, his pupils dilated and breathing heavy.

“I’m a dramatic kinda guy,” Negan smirked, his eyes connecting with hers. Nodding his head, he could see both the amusement and desire that she had for him. “If I can’t be with you, I’ll just fucking die. And then what? You’ll take me away from my kids. You don’t wanna do that to them, do you?”

“Way to make me feel guilty,” she snickered, her fingers working with the belt of Negan’s jeans while she adjusted him so that he was laying on his back. Crawling in closer to him, she got his pants open but kept her eyes locked with his. “You’re crazy.”

“I know,” Negan agreed with her, his hips arching up when she pulled down the zipper in his jeans. “It’s a bit of a problem really.”

“Oh?” her eyebrow arched drawing his smile to grow bigger and he nodded. “Maybe you’re too much trouble for my liking.”

“No, I’m the perfect kind of trouble. I’ll be as good or as bad as you want me to be,” Negan slurred, his breathing growing harder when she pushed his shirt up toward the center of his chest. Wincing, Negan enjoyed the way she kissed over the center of his abdomen, up toward his chest before circling her tongue around his nipple. Having her sucking and then faintly nipping at the flesh had his raspy moan filling the attic. “I think we both know that we want this…”

“You promise to be good for me?” her fingers traced shapes over his abdomen before sinking beneath the material of his boxer briefs. Once her fingertips connected with the root to his masculinity, it had his hips arching up toward the warmth of her touch.

“I do,” Negan nodded his head eagerly, dragging his tongue across his bottom lip when her fingers curled around his body to test the flesh in her grasp. “I want to be yours. Endlessly fucking yours. Please.”

“I pinned you to be a dominant alpha male Negan. But you’re acting so submissive,” she pointed out placing her leg over his to almost pin him down. Separating the material of his pants, she helped pull his cock out of the tight confines they were prisoned behind while she stroked over his distended flesh. “Look at you.”

“I’m both. Whatever the moment calls for,” Negan whispered, his dimples sinking in and the vein at the side of his neck becoming more prominent when he lifted his head to watch her touching him in tender sweeps that had him growing harder with every movement. “If you take a chance on me, you will see.”

“It does sound appealing,” she kissed down over his jawline enjoying the sounds that Negan was making. It didn’t take long for him to be completely solid in her grasp and she enjoyed the way he felt in her palm. “I do want to see where things are capable of going with the two of us Negan. I just need you to be a good boy and keep this hidden for just a little while longer. Can you do that? Just while we’re here?”

“What do you mean hidden?” Negan moaned while she pumped his length in her hand, her fingers firmly grasping to his flesh.

“I just mean we can’t tell Glenn or my family about this yet. I need this time with my family, but I know I want to spend time with you too,” she informed him having his hips arching up toward her caress while she jerked him off. Whining out, Negan felt her fingers releasing him but then he watched her lick at her fingertips before wrapping them back around his flesh. “Once this whole trip is over, then maybe we can put things into motion.”

“I can’t hide the way I feel about you,” Negan panted lifting his head up to watch her jerking him off. Behind his long eyelashes, his eyes were desperate and his moans were loud. It was exactly the kind of thing she wanted to hear and listen to from him.

“I’m not asking you to hide it when it’s just the two of us, but around my family I need you to be careful,” she instructed pampering his lips with wet kisses as she continued to pleasure him. “I just think this is something I need to do with my family in order to fix me. But I want to be with you too. We just can’t officially do that yet.”

“Okay,” Negan panted, his eyebrows tensing and the lines in his forehead growing with how she was jerking him off. “If this is what you need, I will do fucking anything for you.”

“It’s surprising how perfect you actually are,” she slurred against his lips hearing his grunts growing louder. “You really are my good boy, aren’t you?”

“I am,” Negan nodded his head, licking his lips when he felt his abdomen tensing up. Growling out, Negan nuzzled his nose in against the side of her neck when the first line of his cum shot out from the tip. Moaning against her flesh had her mewling out while she continued her caress over his cock milking him of his release. Thick ropes of cum covered his lower abdomen and chest while she continued to jerk him off. Once she released his member, he felt his heart hammering inside of his chest with his throat going dry. “Shit.”

Cuddling her head in against his shoulder, she looked up at the roof of the attic and sighed, “I never saw myself as the cheating type, yet…here I am. Having an affair with the man I thought I was supposed to hate. The man dating my sister,” she frowned caressing over his abdomen, her fingers teasing through the mess of his release. “I have to be crazy after all.”

“Or maybe you just found the thing that you finally needed,” Negan suggested, his finger curling underneath her jawline to get her to look up at him. “Maybe we just found the thing that was missing this whole time. Each other.”

----

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