#I haven’t even seen this week’s episode but I know for a fact it doesn’t warrant this amount of bitching

[greyhavensking]

are people really complaining about the animation for this season of jjk?? like??? to the point they’re basically bullying the animators online??? what the fuck is wrong with people, I honestly can’t even imagine the stress the animators and other workers are under to get these episodes out

[lolokouhm]

| Suguru doesn't eat, but tonight he's hungry | smutty smutty smut | tattooed Geto | depressed Geto | kinda poetic | Geto is young and beautiful and not crazy |

„You haven’t eaten, have you?”

No, Suguru hasn’t eaten.

It’s not like you’re surprised. He’s lost weight - nah, he’s been losing weight steadily for the past few weeks. People say that it’s hard to notice when you see someone regularly, but it’s not hard at all - especially in his case. You’re not sure what’s changed exactly. Suguru still looks relatively healthy, not underweight, but the dark circles under his eyes speak volumes.

You sigh and walk into his apartment. It’s surprisingly neat, to the point it’s a bit scary - so clean it gives an impression as if no living person could function there. And maybe that’s exactly how it is. Maybe that tall, handsome guy in black sweats that greets you is not a person anymore, but a ghost. It’s a question you constantly ask yourself in your head, but never dare to answer. Your heart would break. 

„I wasn’t hungry.” A smile appears on his pale face and you sigh again. 

You’ve been friends with Suguru since high school, but after your last year you went your separate ways, just to meet again years later - just a few months ago. He didn’t change much, at least not visually - except for his arms. He might have gone a little bit crazy on ink there, and that’s exactly what got the two of you talking again. Tattoos. You’ve never expected Suguru Geto, that sophisticated, awfully smart Geto would cover both of his arms in the most insane pieces of art you’ve ever seen. You’ve had your own share of ink under your skin, but your collection was quite messy and not that cohesive. You liked trying new styles, creating your own map of memories from different places and different artists, while his tattoos were definitely an artwork made by one man. You had a million questions, he was happy to answer - that’s how you ended up in his apartment for the first time. Soon you realised you had a million subjects to go through - politics, art, even God. It was easy, talking with him. It was fun.

And then it began - the movie nights, when the two of you were going through different eras of cinema alphabetically, also bringing snacks that would start on the same letter as the movie you were watching. A stupid idea that you shamelessly stole from „The Barbie Diaries” - the first movie you’ve watched together and the first one that left Suguru completely traumatised. 

„Luckily for you, today we’re watching The Notebook, so we’ll be having noodles. What kind of noodles do you want, sir?”, you ask, handing him an invisible microphone.

Suguru chuckles. 

„Spicy.” 

A few clicks later the food is already on its way and the two of you get comfortable on his huge couch. The projector starts warming up and you look around - it’s completely dark inside and if it weren’t for the fact you know Suguru well, you’d think he made the apartament that way so the two of you could watch the movie comfortably. Your gaze goes back to him - his body hunching over the laptop, fighting with Netflix again. 

The projector turns on and the movie starts, as the two of you hide yourselves under the blankets. Unfortunately, you can’t focus. You’re worried.

You’ve had some conversations about his depressive episodes before, so technically you know what he’s going trough, but honestly - you don’t. He doesn’t really talk about it, but if you could get into his head you’d understand how much he values your bare presence next to him. If you could get into his head, you’d know way more, but luckily for Suguru, you can’t. He wouldn’t like that. 

In normal circumstances, at least. Because tonight, he is hungry, he is frustrated, and he needs warmth. 

And you are anything but cold. 

So when he catches your eyes on him, he bets. If you turn away, he’ll let you go. If you give in, he’ll make you stay. 

Three seconds. That’s how much time it takes for Suguru to get closer to you and kiss you. 

It’s short, soft and sensual, but it makes his head go fuzzy, and when he pulls back he just hopes you won’t run away. Don’t run away. Don’t. 

You’re not running.

You’re sitting, legs crossed, just as you were seconds before. Your face is completely red now as Suguru’s eyes scan you carefully, desperate to see the future. Will you go? Will you slap him? 

„Why did you do that?” Your own voice doesn’t even sound like your voice. „The Notebook” in the background is now completely forgotten, the flickering lights on the screen keep on changing and throwing different shades on Suguru’s pale face. You didn’t expect that. Not that you didn’t want to or think about it, it’s just…

„I’m hungry” he whispers, and the way his voice sounds gets shivers sprinting down your spine. „And the food’s not here yet.” 

„Yeah. It’s not.” He still keeps his hands on your cheeks, right thumb gently brushing your skin, touch light as a feather. 

„What are we going to do about it?”, he murmurs, words are barely audible. He’s waiting. There’s another unspoken question hanging between the two of you, and you’re the one who needs to answer.

And that’s exactly what you do. 

Both of your hands are suddenly gripping onto his hoodie as you lean into him, lips crashing yet again, just with much bigger force this time. Suguru’s breath shakes as he finally comprehends that he won the bet and a smile crawls onto his face. You’re kissing him. His ray of sunshine. Well, maybe not his yet, but when he’s done with you, that’s exactly how you will be.

And that’s exactly what he does. 

His lips travel down your jaw, stop for a second under your ear and then go straight to your neck as your hands let go of his hoodie and find their way to his hair, gripping desperately on the black strands loosely caught in a bun. He groans at the feeling as he bites the skin of your exposed collarbone, his fingers playing with the hem of your blouse, eager to feel more and more of you. Suguru looks up and tries his best not to moan at the sight of your face, your lipstick completely devoured. 

„Can I?”, a hoarse whisper leaves his throat, but it’s not even a question. He’s begging you. 

And you let him. 

He takes his own hoodie of as you take off yours - and you can see them again. The artwork on his arms. You lean your body against the pillows on the right side of the couch and Suguru gulps. He’s been imagining that for a while now, but the reality, for the first time in fucking forever, was so, so much better. His lips go back to sucking and licking your skin and by the moment he reaches your breasts you whine. His hot tongue plays with your nipples, making you impossibly wet, and the bare sight of him shirtless in those awfully beautiful sweats is not helping at all. A part of you is relieved - his muscles are still there, tensing a bit with every movement. And when he pulls away for a moment, you notice it.

„You’ve got a new one.” A koi fish, on his ribs, drawn as usual in a traditional style, this time with a bit of colour. Red. Your favourite. Your hand is shaking, but you can’t help yourself. You trace the shape of the tattoo, his hot skin under your fingertips feeling like fire. You are in awe - even more when you look at him again, breathing heavily. A god. He looks like a god. 

And then he proceeds to make you feel like you’re nowhere but in heaven.

He’s not hungry anymore - by the time you’re completely naked he’s starving. His name escapes your lips when his grip on your thighs gets tighter, and then it hits you - his tongue finally making contact with the place you needed him in so desperately. Your hands find his hair again, pulling it relentlessly when he inserts two slender fingers inside of you, at the same time licking your clit. Suguru’s ravenous. You could be his breakfast, his lunch, his dinner, his dessert - everything. He could eat you out all the time, no breaks, no thoughts, no objections. He tries to control his own hips that have been grinding into the couch for a while now, but the feeling of you on his tongue isn’t making it any easier. 

„Suguru…” your voice comes back to you, a familiar feeling slowly building up inside of your stomach. „I’m so close.” 

You really are, and your clouded mind is making the sensation almost unbearable. Suguru groans yet again, happier then ever, and then you hear it.

„Come for me, baby.”

So soft. So simple. Not a demand, by no means. An invitation - to fall apart on his tongue. 

You take it.

His name leaves your lips as your orgasm blinds you, back arching as you pull his hair so hard he groans. Suguru doesn’t stop right away - he makes you ride it out, drinking you like holy water. You shake and quiver and he thinks that maybe that’s exactly what it is. Holy water on his tongue. 

And so you lay, completely fucked out under his perfect body, and when he goes up to look at you he’s almost sure he’s going to come right there, in his pants. You’re so perfect. You’re so perfect. You’re so perfect.

„Fuck.” It falls from his lips as he’s taking these damn pants off and you gasp. „I just… Fuck.” He runs his hands down his face, your arousal glistening all over him. It’s like he shines. You might be going insane. Fucking Geto Suguru, hovering over you, his cock impossibly hard, looking for words. „Can I…”

Before he finishes, you lean into him and bring him down, pulling his neck closer to you and diving into the kiss. He pants and you get scared - it’s not reality. It can’t be. Suguru leaning into your touch, Suguru groaning into your ear, Suguru, Suguru, Suguru. His name carved all over your body, all over your mind. 

He goes in slowly, trying his best not to come right away, but he’s more than determined to make you cum again, this time on his cock. He starts thrusting, diving as deep as possible and then reaches for your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. It feels so good. Too good to be true. He doesn’t fuck you - it’s way more than that. His lips move up and down your neck, leaving desperate kisses between pants and grunts. Suguru is in pain and you’re the cure. Suguru is the moon and you’re the sun. Suguru is the believer.

And you’re the god.

You asked him about it one night. 

„Do you believe in God, Suguru?”

He said he didn’t, but he changed his mind. He does.

His god is right there, under his fingers.

You come again, moaning right into his lips when you kiss, and the way you clench around him sends him to the edge. He hides his head into the crook of your neck and twitches inside of you, warm cum covering your insides as he pants, hips desperately bucking into you. You’re barely conscious, but you wrap your arms around him and hold him as he’s trying to catch his breath. His heartbeat runs through you and it kinda feels like you’re one person. Maybe that’s exactly what you have become. 

One. 

„Are you still hungry?” 

You can feel him laughing into your skin. Suguru moves his head up and readjusts it, so he can see the bite marks on your neck a little better. Like a tattoo. Another one to your collection.

„Starving.”

masterlist ❤️

[cleolinda]

I’ve read a few of the umpteen thousand upset comments about the paid Watcher service, and I’ve read comments angry about the upset comments. There’s one thing I want to point out, and it’s that this isn’t, or shouldn’t be, “You’re saying people don’t deserve to earn money for their work.”

The Watcher guys do deserve to earn money. I already give them money. I give them $5 a month on Patreon, not because I think they do or don’t give me $5 worth of media, but because I want to support them. I canceled Netflix for pissing me off with its price hike/ad tier, but I give Watcher Entertainment money.

They’re saying now that the Patreon will be solely about the podcasts, and they understand if people leave. I’m perfectly happy to switch the support I can afford to the streaming service. With the early adopter 30% discount, I’d actually save money. In fact, I tried to subscribe, but the site didn’t work.

Watcher wanting to profit from their shows isn’t the problem. It’s that they’re now discovering that their fanbase is young and broke in a terrible economy, judging by tens of thousands of comments on multiple platforms. I can throw them $5/month, so I do. But the Patreon only has (checks notes) 5874 paying followers, and there’s a reason for that. $60/year upfront would not be “accessible.” Patreon is literally patronage from the people who can afford it.

If the guys had said up front, “ONLY new shows and episodes will be exclusive to the service,” I think we’d be having a different conversation right now. But at first they did say, “We’re pulling all our content from YouTube,” to the point where Variety had to issue an update. Like, that’s in print and I’m pretty sure it was on video. Now they’ve backtracked to ONLY new etc.—but most people haven’t heard, and they feel crushed. And the trust is probably gone regardless.

So now four years of back catalogue will stay public. And now, you’re paying $6.99 a month for one episode, maybe two, of something a week, and now, not an exclusive back catalogue. I would pay for Watcher shows before I’d pay for anyone else, but I just don’t think the company is big enough yet for a SVOD at that price. They’re not Dropout size. They needed to build more programming and get a higher follower count first, or at the very least, charge less.

The international price/exchange rate situation is a nightmare and I don’t know what it is they’re not doing to make it… not… be like that.

I don’t know what they should have done instead of a full streaming service, but surely there were alternatives? I’ve seen comments from people suggesting they GET a Patreon. Lean on that more! Do the shows exclusive for a month and then let them roll onto YouTube! I don’t know! Anything but One More Fucking Streaming Service, which enraged me, and I was willing to move my support to it!

And I shouldn’t say this, but I will. In the “Goodbye YouTube” video the guys posted, they say that setting up the streaming service has allowed Steven to do a remake of Worth It where he and his cohosts travel the world and eat expensive food. This is the first new show they announce. Not “We have always been committed to diversity and we’re now able to bring on new creator(s) to expand our programming.” No, a redo of an old show that by definition has got to be expensive. Commenters are saying they can’t pay for the streaming service because they can’t make ends meet in this economy. The optics are terrible. I genuinely question what the thought process even was here.

I love the guys and I still watch their shows. I want to see Watcher succeed. I started watching Buzzfeed Unsolved in 2018 while recovering from surgery—as with a lot of people, their shows got me through a tough time. I’m as attached as anyone. If I can continue to afford monthly support—this is not a certainty—I’ll give it to them. I’m not a ~hater who doesn’t want Watcher to make money. But I am absolutely BAFFLED by every single decision here. I want them to figure out how to turn this around and go in a better direction, because right now, this ain’t it.

[snotbuggle]

Omega when she gets to jail and realizes that she now has to big sister four other children. One of which is nowhere near her age.

Going to try and condense some more serious thoughts about these episodes down below so I can avoid spoiling someone as much as possible and not post a dozen times. I don’t want to miss tag any one of those.

Jex/Jek?? I can’t completely remember his name, but the mirialan kid is for sure not going to trust her at all. Can’t say much for the pantoran kid since they haven’t shown much of them so far, but Eva is going to love her.

I think the mirialan kid is definitely going to be skeptical of Omega’s prior knowledge of the facility, Emerie, and why they’re there. Although he might overlook these things hanging on her promise that her brothers will get her, and in turn them, out of there. I can’t help but wonder what Omega and the others will think after about a week and there still not being a rescue. (These two are assuming that she will be placed with the other force sensitive children. Although she may be moved since her blood actually works for project Necromancer)

Crosshair is definitely going to hear it from Hunter. ESPECIALLY after he threw Hunter’s past failure to keep her out of Tantiss in his face. What I think will weigh on his conscience more though is the fact he thinks she’ll be alone this time. In a way she definitely will, but I have no doubt that he realizes he was probably the highlight of her day. He was probably the one thing that kept her hopeful even if he tried to talk down on her and get her to leave. Yes, she had hope that Hunter and Wrecker would find her, but she also needed someone there with her. A familiar face and not someone who just revealed they were your sister out of the blue. Her situation has changed, but Crosshair doesn’t know that. The Crosshair guilt is going to be so real in these last episodes.

Switching gears, CX agents are always a cool and interesting topic for me. While the identity of CX-2 isn’t usually as engaging, I have to say that I’ve drifted from the standpoint of “there’s no way that’s Tech” to “it’s a possibility” over the course of the last two episodes. I’ve seen some fun ideas for who it is otherwise. Personally, I think that they’re probably just another copy paste man with no autonomy anymore.

ANYHOW! I haven’t seen anyone talk about it much, but the scene with Hemlock reviewing the CX agent data and the capsule has me thinking a little harder on their creation/conditioning. The way Hemlock talks about the other operatives as well. “The others aren’t ready to join you” (paraphrasing) seems to show that after the mental conditioning through obviously brutal means, it takes a load of time to physically condition the agents. Seeing as CX-1 was most likely initiated around the same time as Crosshair (I choose to believe that they were near each other’s tables which is why they’re familiar), that took around five months to half a year. In that time span there had to be a lot of soldiers who Hemlock saw fit to be “reprogrammed” but we see very few operatives throughout. This means that if they make it out of mental conditioning, physical conditioning is most likely very dangerous and often times fatal. I’d like to draw attention to the capsules as a part of that physical conditioning. There were several capsules that Hemlock was observing, along with the foggy one that is most likely that new Huyang-lookin-ass operative. If these capsules are the final stage of physical conditioning, it adds meaning to CX-2’s first line, “Why have I been activated?” (Once again paraphrasing). Although the capsules could be for something else entirely.

Also a bit of a gripe, why in the world do you need a new secret-secret operative, Hemlock? You have the commandos, and then the first X troopers, now the CX’s, and what? You wanted a new one? I can’t tell if this man is an overachiever or just way too absorbed into the advanced trooper rabbit hole. Also for you Tech theorists, it’s kinda suspicious that he makes a new version of agents isn’t it? Almost like there’s something…deviant about him?

Completely side tracking here, I really like Phee’s awareness in the station. Yeah she didn’t hear the blaring alarm, but she was in a room where it’d be hard to hear anyways. However, when she got back she felt something was off about the ramp. We’ve seen how slick CX-2 is, so her noticing something is up was a nice touch imo. Also was very appreciative of her caution and readiness with her knife. I love when female characters get to be aware of their surroundings and ready to throw hands if things go south.

In conclusion, thank you for listening to my dump-rambling. I’ve been trying to keep my lips shut so I don’t miss tag anything and spoil it for someone (because I know that I’ll forget to tag everything right). I hope Wrecker is okay. And even if I’m not a Tech CX theorist, I have to admit that I’ve been seeing some fairly strong parallels.

[kimbapisnotsushi]

Hajime’s nineteenth birthday is the first he spends without his best friend.

They’re far from each other and far from home. It’s strange, Hajime thinks, to no longer be confined by mountains and farm fields. Not that California doesn’t have those things—it’s just . . . different. The air is different. The sunshine is different. The way Americans call him by his first name is different. The fact that the driver’s seat is now on the left side of the car instead of the right is different.

Not having Oikawa Tooru by his side is different. 

It wasn’t like Tooru hadn’t tried. He’d sent Hajime a birthday text at the stroke of midnight, and then they spent two hours FaceTiming each other until Hajime had shooed Tooru off, because he knew that Tooru had practice in a few hours and needed at least some shut-eye. And then Hajime had laid there, in the dark of his apartment, wishing and wanting and aching for something a million miles away.

Five thousand and five-hundred thirty-nine miles, to be specific. Not that Hajime is counting. Not that he’s keeping track of every minute that passes between their time zones, because that would be all kinds of pathetic, and Hajime likes to think he's coping with Tooru's absence much better than that.

Anyways. His nineteenth birthday. Off to a great start, obviously. 

It’s also the first birthday he spends with Ushijima Wakatoshi. If you had told Hajime last year that he’d run into Ushijima at a university in California to speak with Ushijima’s father about internships, he probably wouldn't have believed you. If you had told him he’d be stuck in the backseat of a minivan with Ushijima, cruising through the southern Californian desert to watch the stars on his nineteenth birthday—American pop music cranked high, hot wind grazing his shoulders, the van floor littered with chip crumbs and empty boba cups stuffed in the cupholders, with people he’s barely known for the better part of a week—he definitely wouldn’t have believed you. 

But here he is. Munching on shrimp chips, listening to Ushijima’s friends belt out Fall Out Boy. 

Ushijima’s UCI friends are . . . something. Riding shotgun is Kevin Nguyen—he’s what Ushijima calls a “frat boy” and a “gym bro”, but Kevin seems nice enough, if not overly familiar. Selene Hiraishi wears dramatic eyelashes and nails, and her family has been friends with Utsui since he moved to California, so Ushijima’s known her for some time. Citlaly Torres has about a dozen piercings in her ears and graciously offered to drive for the three-hour trip to the park from the university. Avery Cherent, Hajime was happy to discover, is a fellow Godzilla nerd with short silver-dyed high-top curls. Jaesung Han is never seen without their black bomber jacket and a pair of ripped jeans, and—Hajime has noticed—keeps their eyes on him more than the others seem to do.

They’ve taken to Hajime like ants to a cookie, and Hajime is grateful for it, really. He's grateful for anything that can distract him from that empty, aching tug in his chest. From knowing that he'd wake up lonely, and that today would have been a lonely day if it weren't for these plans.

The road is bumpy, and honestly—Hajime is hesitant to even call it a road. It’s more like a wide stretch of dirt that’s been cleared for cars. Joshua trees—the park’s namesake plant—dot the landscape far into the horizon, sharing ground with desert brush and craggy boulders. Outside the open windows, the sky looks like it’s been brushed with watercolor; deep oranges and purples and pinks bleed from the setting sun like the branches of a river.

Citlaly turns into a pullout, kills the engine, and twists around to grin at everyone. “Made it in one piece. What did I tell you guys?”

“You almost crashed into that Honda Civic right off the freeway,” Kevin says. “‘One piece’, my ass.”

“The One Piece is going to be a far greater treasure than your ass, Kev,” says Avery loftily. “They haven’t gone through six hundred and twenty-eight episodes just for that.”

Jaesung claps Kevin’s shoulder as they clamber out. “Don’t worry, Kev, I think you have a great ass.”

Kevin beams. “Aw, Jae! I think you have a great ass, too!”

“Your friends are weird,” Hajime remarks while he and Ushijima hop out the backseat. “Nice, but weird.”

Ushijima smiles. Before today, Hajime hadn’t even known that was something the guy was capable of doing. “They are, aren’t they?

-- an excerpt from wherever you go in this world (i'll come along), an iwaoi bday fic i really really wanted to finish today but perhaps later this week???

[devotioncrater]

I am once again going to queer analyze the fuck out of Ted Lasso, specifically the scene with Trent and Ted in the hallway at the end of Season 3, Episode 7.

Trent swoops in as the door is closing behind Ted, calls out, “TED!”, and then he runs towards Ted, who is walking away from him. Ted turns, bewildered, because here is Trent -- cool, calm, awkward Trent -- completely out of his shell like never before. There’s a spark to Trent. He’s excited, he’s rambling, he’s so close to Ted. He’s vulnerable, too, because he is laying everything he’s thinking and feeling out in the open. (“It’s going to work!” “And I’ll tell you why -- The Lasso Way!” “You haven’t switched tactics in a week!”)

Chemistry goes both ways. It’s a feedback loop, in a sense, because Ted is taking in what Trent is giving. He turns fully to face Trent, even turning when Trent leaves; actively engages by asking questions (“Great! What is?” “Why?” “I haven’t?”); and the more this interaction goes on, the more Ted’s face goes from bewildered to fond. Is he humoring Trent by letting him ramble? Yeah, he is, because he finds it endearing.

The way it’s shot plays a massive role, too. We the audience know that Roy and Beard are there all along. However, we temporarily forget their presence because the camera is equally close on both Trent and Ted. And the intensity of Trent’s rambling distracts us. It’s not until their little conversation is over that the angle is zoomed out and we’re reminded they aren’t alone. It’s intentionally done like that as an insight onto how Ted feels. He’s tuned in on what Trent has to say, and everything else falls away to the background.

In a heavy rom-com episode, this is the love interest’s confesional to the main character.

Trent was sparking. So much so I’ve seen people say they expected the two to kiss. And that thought doesn’t just pop up out of nowhere. You don’t arrive to that conclusion baseless. Which means:

1) The simmering three-season-long groundwork put into their relationship is rock solid.

2) The romcom beats -- which have gotten more frequent -- are subconciously hitting the audience and therefore priming us to expect a follow through (re: a kiss)

3) Characters do not get that close unless it’s to kiss, fight, or scheme. Clearly they aren’t fighting or scheming, so what other expectation is there?

Now hold onto your hat, cowboy. This is where it gets fun.

This hallway scene is a direct parallel to Rebecca and Ted in the West Ham hallway. It’s at an away game; Rebecca and Trent are both potential love interests with an air of manic energy; and, again, it takes place in a hallway with the team in the locker room. 

Only this time, with Trent, everything is subverted. 

Ted walks to Rebecca vs Trent runs to Ted.

Rebecca touches Ted vs Trent doesn’t physically engage.

Ted being uncomfortable the entire interaction vs Ted leaning into the interaction.

Beard and Roy not being present vs Beard and Roy being there.

This subversion also applies to where Rebecca and Trent’s respective manic energy stem from. Their energy levels are foils of one another. 

Rebecca’s stems from negative external factors outside of Richmond (re: Rupert) and the fact the team is losing the match/things are not working.

Trent’s stems from positive internal factors within Richmond (re: belief in The Lasso Way) and the fact things are going to work despite the team losing the match.

Let’s get queer up in here and extrapolate those subversions to sexuality:

Ted slowly approaches heterosexuality (Rebecca), alone (without community) and is uncomfortable by the external pressures placed upon him, the way heterosexuality imposes its touch on him. He visibly looks/feels worse after the interaction.

vs

Queerness (Trent) running up behind Ted with a warning shout (hitting Ted when he doesn’t expect it) and while Ted is surrounded by others (with community). And at first Ted is confused by it, but as soon as he hears it out, gives it a chance, he grows fond of what it has to say. It does not impose its touch on him, and the pressure is an excited internal one. Ted visibly looks/feels better after the interaction.

In Trent’s words, it’s going to work.

[yourlocalartsonist]

MONTHLY MFIP UPDATE✨✨

9/24 | Month 2 | Next Month | Month 1

Hey folks 🦐 I finally got the chance to make this month’s MFIP Update cuz god damn life was kicking my ass. College is fine for the most part tbh, just a lot of reading and writing cuz of the specific classes I chose. HOWEVER I have 💥FUCKING PMDD💥 so um skill issue on my part but it’s why I’ve been kinda exhausted as shit this week and was late with the update so my bad folks! (Also for more info on PMDD, click here! I don’t wanna spend this post yapping about it but wanted to leave a resource to spread awareness just in case :3). Also, Imma be tagging some of y'all who have been reading/supporting MFIP consistently just for this post, so yk you guys actually know these updates exist. I was gonna do that for the first ever update but as with many things, I forgor, so I'm doing it now! They’re supposed to come out on the 18th of every month, but yk sometimes life happens and I’m a lil late. It won’t be any earlier than the 18th tho so look out for these once it hits that date! Anywho, cheers to this month’s update!

Alrighty folks we be starting with the Art~!

Alrighty so obvious new thing, WE GOT RAPH’S REF SHEEEEEEEET TEEHEEEEEEE

BRO IM SO HYPE ABOUT IT! It turned out so genuinely amazing and I’m ridiculously proud of it! Especially cuz I honestly thought Raph was gonna be a harder design to figure out yk? I’m not used to drawing his body type, I wasn’t as familiar with his outfit, and even tho I’ve sketched him a few times before, I was just a bit nervous with Raph. Funfact, he’s also been the hardest to figure out how to write back when I was first starting MFIP. I genuinely don’t know why, but I got there eventually (I actually really love writing him now—) and same thing happened with his design!

Since MFIP’s taking place a few months after the Krang invasion, i’m able to take creative liberties and update the boys’ designs more! For some clarification btw, in my story’s lore, the invasion took place in September 2020, and MFIP starts on March 2021. Anywhizzle, my ideas for the boys’ designs is to combine their movie look with their show look, cuz while I do LOVE the black on them, it doesn’t feel right to me to not make them still unique in their own ways. These guys are all about authenticity, so why make their gear exactly the same, ya get me? I basically recolored his show gear to be black and red (and added a lil asymmetry on his legs) cuz I think it makes Raph feel older and more sure about himself, just feels right for him! I also just think the red fade on the black is hella cool! Fun lil color theory i think application, the black is more of a really dark, inky blue, so it makes the red pop out even more! I decided to make a bow out of his mask tails, too! I don’t wanna spoil the entire lore reasoning for it yet (it’ll pop up in the story), but I can indeed say it’s intentional that it looks a little like a lunamoth with damaged tails :3 I also took a BUNCH of creative liberties with his sais’ handles, since we haven’t really seen it much so like idk gaslight yourselves into thinking it’s always been this epic✨✨

Also I gave him his shorts back because FUCK YOU I LIKED THE RED TRIMMMM—

OH I ALMOST FORGOT yes he has longer eyelashes! I saw he grows to have really pretty eyelashes in the future cuz of his turtle species, and I wanted to lean into that by showing they’re starting to grow now :3

Bullshit Gag Because Yes‼️‼️

There ain’t shit to say about this, I just pulled a silly. I saw the fact Donnie was supposed to have a “Doctor Donatello” persona in the deleted episode where Dale turns into a werewolf. I’m really heavily on the train of Leo being the team medic and into medicine in general. I don’t think it makes sense for Donnie to be the medic judging by his sensory issues and this mf being as much of a germaphobe as my mom, and in my opinion it felt too stereotypical anyway to have Donnie be the medic. Ofc, to each their own, and this is just my interpretation of it, but I thought it’d be funny if Donnie still had this persona and was passionate about it, but was like horrifically bad at being a doctor. I made this dumbass sketch that I’ll finish sometime in the future (it’s gonna be a chapter in Arc 3 probably) and I just wanted to share it with yall~

THEY’RE HUMAN NOW⁉️

My ass wanted to show off cuz I’m sketching out some ideas of what my human designs for the boys culd be. I already did Leo’s like ages ago so he’s not on here but I’m realizing as I’m typing this my dumbass forgor to post it so um my bad I will do that in a few days—

But I wanted to design (or more accurately, redesign cuz I did draw em once a while back but I’m not satisfied with them) and I think I ate so far so uh yea. There isn’t any logic to sharing this, I just thought it was cool😭

And actually, imma share them here too just so y’all can see my boy ;w;

(A lil outdated cuz I didn’t give him lips at the time)

Okay there we go~

As you can see, I want all the boys to look kinda etherial and like they'd turn heads, and I think I am SUCCEEDING SO HARD SO FAR CUZ DAMNNNN THEY'RE ALL PRETTY AS SHIIIIIIIT TEEHEE✨ Also am tryna make sure they actually look Blasian since that's what the canon of my story says they are. I'll talk about them more another time when I have all of them on here~

But yea that's all for art this time folks :> ONTO THE NEXT THINGGG

Chapter Progress Time Whoop Whoooop‼️‼️

I didn’t make much progress on anything this month due to college—again, it’s fine, but there’s a shit ton of time management going on in my part to just manage everything and make sure I’m on track—BUT I am indeed still working on chapter 10. We’re up to 20 pages now which is only two more pages written from last month, but it’s kinda cool writing Donnie and I feel like I’m getting a better understanding of him! One thing I’ve been tryna do is understand autism better as a condition cuz I do wanna acknowledge and show bro’s autism instead of just ignoring it due to a lack of understanding. Donnie ain’t Donnie without it, ya know? I don’t know everything and tbh I would say I still have A LOT to learn on the subject matter, but I’m tryna expand my knowledge every opportunity I get and experimenting with how to better show it! This is to say tho, I’M NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL, NOR AN EXPERT ON THE AUTISM SPECTRUM. This is what I’m finding and comprehending via my own research, and can tbh end up being wrong so please don’t quote me as a reliable source, I’m still learning ;v;

I remember one of the things I kept hearing about was autism leading people to struggle with empathy. The best way I heard it being described was someone bringing the example of when their friend was upset. That person can’t truly feel their friend’s emotions because they’re not the one experiencing it, so can’t properly understand how it’s making their friend feel. But they can see that their friend is communicating their sadness, and they still try to comfort them and make sure their friend knows they’re there for support. I understood it as bringing logic to emotions in a sense; collecting data and figuring out how to handle the situation based on the data rather than using intuition alone.

I’ve been using that to figure out how Donnie might handle more emotionally subtle situations, where he might try to rationally work through what’s happening and kinda substitute it in place of natural empathy. Like the little tidbit I gave above! Instead of just automatically being able to get vibes that the other person is upset, I felt maybe Donnie would instead notice the fact their tone is kinda different from before; it’s basically a data point. With that data point in mind, he could connect it to past experiences where a tone change could indicate a mood change, and as a result he might conclude that Salena’s tone change means she’s upset. I comprehend it as manually working through empathy rather than it being second nature, if that makes sense. Obviously and thankfully Donnie isn’t gonna spend the entire chapter playing a guessing game or anything with Salena’s emotions, it’s just one lil moment that I thought was cool challenge to myself with when writing him! I really love putting myself in the characters’ shoes when I’m writing them or their dialogue. I highly recommend it as a tool too, since it's helped me a lot with staying in character!

Last Lil Segment Y'all

Aight so, I wanted to try doing something cool if y'all are up for it. I really love rambling about my story and lore and characters blah blah blah, but I don't really know how to do so tbh. I'm not that familiar with how social medias work cuz I just never took it seriously, and I don't wanna just keep being like HEYYYYY ASK BOX IS OPENNNNN like I'm screaming from the top of the hill either. Sooooo insteaddddd

I think it'd be fun to do Q&As here! Or at least something similar. I'll open my ask box again and feel free to send any questions you want; it can be about the story, past lore, design questions, getting to know the characters, absolutely anything! Then when I'm gonna do my update for the month, I'll compile all y'all's asks, (prolly will have to tag to make sure you guys know I answered it, or if you ask anon then uh idk look out for the monthly update) and then answer them during the monthly update as the last section! I think it'll be a cool way to make this feel more interactive, and gives me an excuse to ramble. Don't be afraid to ask potentially spoilery questions either! If it's something I can't spoil yet or even give hints or vague answers about, I'll just say so in the update!

Anywhizzle, That's All Folks~!

I'm glad there was so much to talk about this month! I actually deadass thought it would be short but I should know better with my yapping' ass💀✨ But yeah, thanks for reading everyone! I hope y'all enjoy the rest of your days, and I shall see you next month~ Bye :D

Tageroonies:

@yosajaeofficial @chaoticspeedrun @ramblehour @randomcerealbrand @goldanrabbit @m1sf0rtun3 @foundthethief @ackalice @jellyfishheartsss @dollyrin @harukonene @iieieiw @mwantstossleep @zipzaizen @hypocriticaltypwriter @lordfreg @rainbowpr1sm @idioticsky @oleander-nin @cheeselord-official @skittlesqueen101

By the way, if you guys think you’d like to be tagged whenever an MFIP chapter is posted, lmk in a reblog or comment (no asks or dms plz, too inconvenient) and I’ll be sure to tag so it’s more reliable than tumblr notifs :3🫶

ROTTMNT: Moths Fly In Packs

[howtonerdoutovereverything]

Fairly Oddparents: A New Wish Season 2 Predictions

OK, OK, OK, I know this topic has probably been discussed to death, but considering I'm new around these parts, and also considering I've been thinking about this for literal weeks, I figured I’d just spill all my thoughts out. If I forget anything or if I think of new stuff, I’ll just reblog this post and add it.

Anyways, let’s start by looking directly at the end of the Season 1 Finale.

Hazel’s friends (and brother) now know about the existence of fairies

So this is probably the biggest thing to come out of the finale. With her one rule-free wish, Hazel wishes that her friends (and brother) can keep their memories of the craziness that just transpired, meaning they now know about the existence of fairies and the fact that she has fairy godparents. This has the potential to open up a lot of interesting dynamics.

Seeing Hazel and Dev interact after they found out about each others’ fairy godparents in Battle of the Dimmsonian was so fun, as it’s not a dynamic we’ve seen a lot of throughout this franchise (at least to my understanding; I haven’t watched the OG show in a LOOOONG time). So now that the group of people “in the know” has expanded, and considering they all have a much different relationship with Hazel than Dev, a ton of wacky shenanigans could ensue. For example, Hazel and Antony now both have to keep Cosmo and Wanda’s (and I guess also Peri’s) existence a secret from their parents, which I can definitely imagine being used for gags. Also, I’m sure Jasmine, Winn, and Antony are going to want the fairies to grant wishes for them, meaning they’ll have to ask Hazel to make those wishes. I can totally see an episode where Hazel is constantly making wishes and gets super exhausted/frustrated. But in general, I think that the fact that Hazel doesn’t have to keep her fairies a secret anymore means that her friends can be involved in more episodes, or at least be involved in a more significant way. Jasmine and Winn, while being great characters, definitely deserve more development. Perhaps we could meet their families. And with Antony, perhaps we could meet his girlfriend?

But if we’re going to talk about friends, there’s one person in particular we have to bring up…

Dev Dimmadome (and all of his shit)

So…here’s the thing. Dev 100% remembers everything that went down in the finale. I know this is a fairly common theory and people have been discussing it, but just in case you’re out of the loop, here’s why I think this is the case.

When Hazel makes her rule-free wish to Jorgen, she specifies that she wants her “friends” to remember the events of the finale. And while, in the moment, she’s definitely thinking about Jasmine, Winn, and Antony, it’s made clear throughout the past few episodes (specifically in Best of Luck, if I remember correctly) that she still considers Dev a friend despite all the disagreements they’ve had. She even spells out in Lost and Founder’s Day that friends can have arguments and still be friends, so unless that belief of hers has radically changed (which I doubt), it would make sense if Dev ended up getting lumped into the wish purely because she still views him as a friend. As others have pointed out, this could explain why Jorgen freaked out so heavily when Hazel made her wish. Why would he react like that if there wasn’t going to be some big consequence?

And speaking of big consequences, I think Dev remembering his attempt to take over Fairy World and the loss of Peri as his godparent is going to have a big impact on him and affect the direction in which his character arc goes. At the end of the finale right before Hazel makes her wish, Dev straight up says that he thinks he deserves his punishment, and seems extremely dejected. The weight of his actions is clearly affecting him, and when you add on his realization that the fairy godparent he treated so horribly still cared about him even when he was on the verge of death BECAUSE OF THAT MISTREATMENT, I feel like Dev is going to be starting off the season in a pretty bad place.

I feel like for the first episode or so, Dev is going to be wallowing in his regret and just generally feeling like trash, but not knowing how to deal with it. He knows what he did is wrong, and seems convinced that Hazel isn’t going to forgive him or that it isn’t worth pursuing a friendship with her any further. Hazel will probably notice this and attempt to talk to him, as she’s not used to seeing him like this (and also is probably assuming that his memory being wiped would mean that he’d be “back to normal”, because remember, she doesn’t know he remembers). Dev will keep avoiding her, some shenanigans will happen that force them to come together, and Hazel will push Dev into admitting what’s wrong. He’ll finally spill that he remembers what he did and feels horrible about it and there will be some sort of reconciliation (I imagine Hazel saying that she doesn’t fully forgive him, but doesn’t want to see him be miserable because, at the end of the day, she’s still his friend and wants him to be better). This will set the two of them off on a good note for the rest of the season.

But that doesn’t mean that everything will be fine and dandy with Dev…

Peri’s role

So given the fact that Peri has swiftly become the fan-favorite character of this series, I have a feeling that, if Season 2 is greenlit, the team behind the show will want to give him a more prominent role than he had in Season 1. I remember being a bit disappointed that we didn’t get as much of him in the show as I was expecting, but then again, I doubt the team could’ve anticipated just how popular Peri became.

With that being said, let’s consider where Peri is right now. He’s just lost his first-ever godkid, whom he cared about despite the fact that he wasn’t very appreciative of him. Given that Peri was very clearly trying to prove something through his godparenting of Dev (mostly that he could “make it on his own”), losing him is going to absolutely DEVASTATE HIM. I can picture him crashing in his parents’ apartment, crying on the couch while eating ice cream and having absolutely no self-confidence. But I can also see him attempting to secretly help out Dev even though he’s not his godparent anymore. I’ve seen plenty of artwork of Peri disguised as a babysitter that Dale hires, and I think that would be a great way to get more Peri and Dev interactions as well as provide a fun twist on Timmy and Vicky’s dynamic from the OG show. Dev will likely be a bit conflicted by Peri’s attempts to help him out, and I can see an episode of them sort of reconciling. Given that there was originally going to be an episode centered around them in Season 1 that got scrapped, this could be a good way to reuse that old idea. Plus, if I’m honest, I just want to see Peri’s human design.

Plus, having Peri essentially go undercover at Dev’s place will give us an opportunity to check in on a certain character…

Dale and Project H (and the Pixies…?)

Ah, yes, everyone’s favorite bastard and terrible father, Dale Dimmadome. The last time we saw him (besides the finale), he was obsessing over Project H, AKA his attempt to figure out why Hazel didn’t buy anything on Founder’s Day. We saw Cosmo and Wanda essentially (and inadvertently) feed Dale the answer he was looking for: Hazel has fairies and therefore doesn’t need to buy things. When Dale inevitably discovers this, we know there’s gonna be a plan that involves fairies somehow. But what?

Personally, I think the most likely answer is that Dale is going to want to utilize fairy magic in some way so he can essentially play genie and bring himself more fame and esteem. Or perhaps he’ll create some uber-expensive device that allows people to wish for things, but the catch is that people have to pay in order to make wishes. Given how powerful fairy magic can be, I can see this being super successful, and Hazel, Dev, and their friends will need to find a way to rescue the fairies who have been kidnapped and had their magic taken (including Cosmo, Wanda, and Peri). However, there’s another wrinkle that I think could also be interesting and possibly a bit more unique…

So originally, according to the series bible, the Season 1 finale was going to involve Dale teaming up with the Pixies. Given that the Pixies are very business-focused, Dale would likely get along with them and be willing to team up with them in order to satisfy his greed. They could easily reuse this concept for the Season 2 finale, as the Pixies seem like an interesting and fun group of villains to have the gang go up against. Plus they would probably pose a formidable threat and invite some creative scenarios and solutions in order to defeat.

There’s also one more possibility I want to discuss in regards to potential villains and season-long arcs…

The Galax Institute

In “Crock to the Future”, we’re introduced to the Galax Institute, where Hazel’s father works. It’s revealed that A.J. is currently the head of the institute, and Crocker has been attempting to land a position there. We know that the Galax Institute studies paranormal phenomena, and it’s hinted at in the first episode that fairy magic could very well be one of those things. This could potentially be a great set-up for a season-long conflict.

I feel like A.J. being the main villain of this season would be a really fun twist. He doesn’t even have to be a mustache-twirling villain or super conniving, but having him serve more as just an inconvenient and unknowing antagonist would be interesting. He could be leading an effort to study increased supernatural activity in Dimmadelphia, and after finding out that a good amount of it is centered near the Wells residence, he could assign Marcus to investigate. Hazel and Antony would then have to try and hide Cosmo and Wanda from their dad and find a way to stop the Galax Institute from learning about the existence of fairies. Having Marcus technically be on the side of the “bad guys” could lead to some really interesting dynamics. Hazel might have to eventually tell her dad about her fairies in an effort to get him to help her protect them from the Galax Institute wanting to kidnap and study them. And considering Dale will likely still be playing a large antagonist role, perhaps he could be funding the Galax Institute’s research after taking part in a board meeting with them and noticing similarities between the phenomena they’re describing and what he’s found out during Project H. This could lead to some more complex conflicts that would be really fun to watch unfold.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand that’s about it for now! Feel free to share any of your thoughts/predictions with me, as I’d love to discuss possibilities for this season!

Oh, and most importantly: STREAM THIS SHOW WHEN IT COMES OUT ON STREAMING SO WE CAN GET A SEASON 2

[defectivevillain]

this broken design, ch3

“Dr. Lecter?” You blink a few times, convinced that you’re dreaming. The man’s gleaming eyes and concerned expression seem a bit too realistic to be conjured by your sleeping mind, though. You’re not sure if you’ve ever seen him look worried. You quickly decide that you don’t like it.

“Hannibal, please,” the doctor responds nonchalantly. You stare at him in utter confusion. Just what is happening right now? You thought you were dreaming, but this feels a bit too vivid. “What are you doing out here?”

read from the beginning here! [this won’t make much sense, otherwise]

[ao3 version]

reader’s pronouns are unspecified.

warnings: canon typical violence, blood, and gore; spoilers for the first few episodes

In hindsight, you should’ve expected it. Alana Bloom—your former psychiatrist—had been on vacation for the past week. She hadn’t been there to see your tremendous, spectacular descent into madness. [Well, you hesitate to call it madness, but the term feels apt enough for now.] You don’t anticipate that to be a problem, but the moment you walk into the institute in the morning, Alana accosts you.

Admittedly, you’re more surprised than you should be. She missed the whole Hobbs incident. Furthermore, Alana has been rather… invested… in your personal affairs recently. Despite the fact that she hasn’t been your psychiatrist for a few months, she still checks in on you every week or so. Alana seems to think you’re friends—and you haven’t quite found the courage to dispel the notion. Even now, as she’s practically manhandling you and guiding you to her office, you don’t move to stop her. Despite the dread coiling in your stomach, you let her close her office door and stare at you from across her desk.  

“You promised you wouldn’t get too close,” Alana says, crossing her arms over her chest and placing her palms flat against her desk. You sigh; admittedly, you had hoped that Alana wouldn’t do this— namely because her concern often feels patronizing instead of genuine. That was one of the reasons you stopped pursuing care with her—it felt as if you were getting a scolding from a parent. When Alana is finished talking, you take a deep breath.

“It was unavoidable,” you say, taking a moment to pinch the bridge of your nose and pretend that this isn’t your reality. Alana doesn’t seem very convinced. This really is just like old times—you tell her about something, she patronizes you for making the decision you made, nothing gets fixed… It takes all of your patience not to bolt right out of her office. “Hobbs had already killed his wife by the time I arrived. Any later and he would’ve escaped, Alana.” That statement finally seems to get through to her, as she folds her hands on the desk.

“I know,” Alana admits, averting her eyes for a moment, “I just… I worry about you. Is that such a bad thing?” The clock on the wall behind her ticks forebodingly. Something akin to tension settles in the air. You suddenly feel that the conversation is entirely out of your control. There’s a strangely vulnerable expression on her face and you can’t help but raise your guard.

“I guess not,” you admit with a frown. Alana takes you a step closer and you freeze right in place, entirely unsure of what she’s doing. Typically, she’s more cognizant of your need for personal space. Today, though, she’s leaning over your desk to break the distance between the two of you. Your eyes meet and she leans impossibly closer. Her fingers clasp your shirt collar and she tugs you to her. Your concentration slips for a moment as your momentum rushes forward, and you have to shoot a hand out to brace yourself against the desk. One moment, you’re careening forward; the next, Alana is kissing you.

You’re entirely frozen in her grasp. The moment you begin to process what’s happening, Alana pulls back, steps around her desk, and walks away. You stare at her retreating figure in disbelief. Your lips are tingling. What the hell just happened? You clench your fists against the wooden desk, feeling remarkably confused. It takes you an immeasurable amount of time to get a grip. When you finally manage to shake yourself out of your confused stupor, you leave Alana’s office and determinedly walk through the halls of the institute.

You manage to end up near the BAU offices, unsurprisingly. You look around the common area, surprised to find that there is no one in sight. You take a few more steps and look down the hall, only to see Beverly in the lab. You walk towards her. “Bev,” you hiss. Your friend doesn’t look up. You take a deep breath. “Bev!”

“Hey,” Beverly says, blinking at you in confusion. You resist the compelling urge to grab her by the collar and shake her. She finally tears her eyes away from whatever she’s analyzing and levels you with a scrutinizing gaze. “What’s up? You look funny.” Her eyebrows are furrowed as she looks at you.

“Wow, thanks,” you remark dryly, crossing your arms over your chest. The lab is always freezing. You really need to keep a coat or jacket in here.

“Funnier than usual, I mean,” Beverly clarifies, as if that will make the situation better. You look at her in disbelief for a moment and she stares back unflinchingly.

“Yeah, thanks,” you then respond flatly. You have to take a moment to collect your thoughts and recall why you came to her. “Anyway, I had something to tell you.”

“Ooh, is it hot goss?” Beverly smirks, eyes gleaming.

“What the hell is hot goss?” You squint at her in faux disgust. Beverly rolls her eyes.

“Hot gossip, obviously,” Beverly answers, blinking at you as if you have three heads. She grabs the clipboard she had set aside and places it on the counter next to you.

“Well, actually… it sort of is,” you grimace.

“Sweet!” Beverly grins, leaning forward in intrigue. “What is it?”

“Alana kissed me,” you choke out, the words prying your lips apart and crawling out of your mouth. Even just uttering the sentiment makes you uncomfortable. Your heart is still racing and your hands are trembling ever so slightly. It feels as if you’re in a nightmare.  

“What?” Bev exclaims loudly, freezing and looking at you in complete shock. You helplessly stare back for a few moments. Beverly searches your face—evidently trying to discern if you’re telling the truth—before shaking her head in disbelief. “Wow.”

“I know,” you remark, feeling just as lost as she looks, “I was completely shocked.”

“Um, yeah.” Beverly shakes her head in disbelief. She then looks around your immediate surroundings, as if making sure no one is around to hear. You feel slightly honored at the gesture, but mostly amused—you already spilled all the hot goss. Furthermore, you’re in the lab. The only people in here besides you two are dead and, therefore, entirely unable to eavesdrop. “So… what did you do?”

“I just stood there like a dumbass,” you admit with a sigh, putting your head in your hands. Beverly graciously allows you to do so, remaining silent and waiting for you to continue. Eventually, you get over some of your initial embarrassment and continue. “Then, I came right here to you.”

“As you should,” Beverly nods wisely. She crosses her arms over her chest and grins victoriously. “As you fucking should.” You roll your eyes fondly. It only takes a few moments for the reality of the situation to come crashing down on you again.

“I don’t know what to do,” you whisper, just loud enough for your friend to hear. You bite your lip and try to pretend as if the world hasn’t been thrown off its axis. That whole encounter with Alana was entirely unexpected, and you wish you could just forget it. If only you could turn back time to about an hour ago, before you had crossed paths with Alana…

“Well, you don’t have to do anything, obviously,” Beverly interjects, squinting at you as if the solution to that problem is obvious. Her confidence pulls you out of your spiraling thoughts. “It was entirely her decision to do that. You had no choice in the matter. In fact, she should have asked you before she kissed you… Do you want me to beat her up?”

“No, don’t beat her up,” you say, choking on a laugh. Bev smiles victoriously. You can’t get rid of the rather amusing mental picture that comes with Beverly’s suggestion. “But, yeah, you might be right.”

“Of course I am,” Beverly squints at you worriedly, as if the mere idea of thinking otherwise is cause for concern. “I’m always right.”

“Unfortunately, you usually are,” you acquiesce, earning a mischievous smirk from Beverly. The conversation soon falls away from your interaction with Alana earlier that morning, thankfully.

The universe seems to be smiling down on you, because, after a few hours of work, Jack lets you go home early. You have a lingering suspicion that it may have something to do with the distracted mindset you were stuck in. A few times, you zoned out so much that someone had to shake your shoulder or snap their fingers in front of your face. You’re just… overwhelmed, to be honest. Alana kissing you was not on your bingo card for this year—that’s for sure.

Fortunately, you manage to have a rather calming rest of your night. You push aside all thoughts of Alana and work, and instead just try to relax. Somehow, the attempt works and you’re able to get a good night’s sleep. The next morning, you feel surprisingly rejuvenated and refreshed. You don’t have to go into work until later, so you’re content to make breakfast and then work on tidying up your house. Within a few hours, you’ve done your laundry and washed Hannibal’s clothes—which you plan to give back to him today; you also cleaned around the house and did some of the more unpleasant chores that you’d been putting off. Overall, it’s quite the productive day. So, when your phone alarm goes off to remind you of your appointment with Hannibal, you walk out to the car and start driving over with a content smile on your face.

You park your car and mechanically make your way into the office. The waiting room is blissfully empty and you take a seat in the chair in the far corner. You’re a bit early, so you’re forced to wait a bit before Hannibal comes out of his office. “Please, come in.” Hannibal’s voice breaks you from your thoughts. You look up from where you’d been staring at the ground, only to find the psychiatrist standing in the doorway to his office. He motions for you to follow him and you do so without hesitation. Just as Hannibal shuts the door behind him, you remember what you meant to return to him.

“Here, I have these… before I forget,” you remark, extending your arms to reveal the neatly folded clothes that he lent you days ago. “I washed them a few times, don’t worry.” The psychiatrist reaches out and, somehow, your fingers brush his as you hand the articles to him.

“I wasn’t worried,” Hannibal remarks with a mix of amusement and confusion. You raise an eyebrow at him, but he doesn’t explain that sentiment any further. He walks over to his desk and you decide to head for the chairs. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch a flicker of movement. When you turn your head, you swear you see him smelling the pile of folded clothes. Do you really smell that bad? You shake your head and pretend that you didn’t see anything.

Once Hannibal returns from his desk, the session is underway. You talk about your day and what’s weighing on your mind. Hannibal asks you about work and you immediately think of the institute. Although you're sure that he’s inquiring about the Ripper or any other killers you’re searching for, you can’t quite control the sharp turn your mind takes toward your encounter with Alana. The words are slipping from your tongue before you can stop them.

“Alana kissed me,” you blurt out, quickly looking down and hoping Hannibal didn’t hear anything. Unfortunately, Hannibal is rather perceptive and he seems to have heard your remark. There’s a mysterious expression on his face and his eye twitches for a millisecond. “I don’t know why I said that, I’m so sorry.” That’s likely something Hannibal could have done without hearing. Oops.

“It seems to be causing you significant distress.” Hannibal remarks, no trace of emotion anywhere on his face. Sometimes, you wish you were that good at hiding your feelings. “I presume you’re talking about Alana Bloom; how do you know her?”

“She was my psychiatrist for a little while,” you decide to say. You’re debating keeping the latter part of your relationship a secret, but Hannibal is looking unusually attentive and you can’t find any reason to keep it hidden. “We dated for a little while, but that was years ago.” There’s a brief pause where Hannibal doesn’t say anything and you fall quiet.

“You broke up.” The statement is phrased like a question and you begin to catch on. You’re unable to get rid of the smile on your face at the realization. For the first time, Hannibal looks interested. More than that, he looks utterly enraptured. He is awaiting your answer with thinly concealed anticipation. You grin.

“You want all the gory details, huh?” You stare at Hannibal, letting the silence drag on for several moments. You can almost feel the tension in the air. Folding your hands in your lap, you mimic his posture and lean forward. Hannibal watches quietly. You make sure to look at him with an open expression. “That’s unlike you, Dr. Lecter.” Hannibal blinks and you smirk victoriously.

“Apologies; it seems I have overstepped,” the psychiatrist remarks, a mildly apologetic smile on his face. You get the feeling that he isn’t truly remorseful—he’s just apologetic because you called him out. You can’t stop the short huff of amusement that spills from your lips. Hannibal raises an eyebrow, but he continues regardless. “It appears Miss Bloom still cares for you.”

“Apparently,” you acquiesce, giving up on the rather enjoyable game of manipulating Hannibal. Unfortunately, the moment you let your focus slip, the interaction from yesterday dominates your thoughts again. You can’t stop berating yourself for it. You should’ve paid more attention to the signs, you should’ve pushed her away, you should’ve…

“You seem unusually fixated on it,” Hannibal interrupts, raising his eyebrows at you. The fire crackles in the fireplace, illuminating the room in an amber glow. Hannibal’s eyes glow in the dim lighting and you’re briefly reminded of how dangerous the man is. His expression turns from amused to expectant and you have to break away from your thoughts.

“It wasn’t entirely… wanted; she kind of just grabbed me before I could do anything,” you grimace at the memory. There is pure malice written in the lines of Hannibal’s body—his shoulders are tight and his lips are pulled taut in a flat line. “I thought we were just friends,” you continue, pretending not to notice the murderous aura coming from Hannibal’s general direction. “I’m just the worst at reading the subtext like that.”

“Reading the subtext is an apt description,” Hannibal nods thoughtfully, after a rather painful moment of silence. You swear he’s still leaning forward in his chair, as if trying to breach the distance between you. “You didn’t know about her feelings.”

“I didn’t have a damn clue; embarrassing, isn’t it?” You shake your head, starting to analyze your past interactions and connect the dots. Alana had been weirdly tactile for a short period, there… You had just dismissed it to be friendly contact. Evidently, it was a lot more than that.

“Why would that be that embarrassing?” Hannibal queries, squinting at you. You take a deep breath and try to collect your thoughts.  

“We both wanted different things,” you manage to say, after reflecting upon the events of the day. You never realized that Alana wanted more. You really thought the breakup was the end of things. Apparently not, you think wryly. It takes a lot of effort to stop yourself from overanalyzing every interaction you’ve had with her, searching for the moments when you should’ve n​​oticed her feelings.

“She wanted things you couldn’t give her,” Hannibal says, staring at you intently. You swallow hard, feeling as if the conversation has taken an uncomfortable turn.

“Yeah,” you eventually agree. “That’s a rather typical theme in my life,” you say, before Hannibal can say the same thing. Sure enough, the psychiatrist nods. Silence stretches across the space and it is painfully awkward. The atmosphere feels extremely tense. You take a deep breath and decide to change the subject. “Other than that, I’ve been… okay. It’s been weird, lately. The Ripper hasn’t been active in over a year.”

“That unsettles you,” Hannibal says.

“I feel like I’m letting my guard down,” you finally admit. You had been carrying the sentiment for a while there. Once you utter the words, though, you realize their gravity. You truly have felt uneasy without the Ripper’s murders. “Then, when he does kill again, I won’t be prepared.”

“No one is truly prepared for death,” Hannibal says. You roll your eyes and cross your arms over your chest.

“I just mean… I feel weirdly off-kilter,” you clarify, before Hannibal can launch into another weird extended metaphor. “I feel like… the Ripper has grown to define me. What kind of person does that make me?”

“Your work is rather immersive.” The justification sounds rather weak. Still, you appreciate the gesture nonetheless. There’s a weirdly restrained look on Hannibal’s face, as if he’s actively forcing himself to remain silent and not speak again. You try to pretend that you never noticed.

“Unfortunately,” you acknowledge, taking a shuddering breath in. It suddenly feels a lot warmer in this office space. You pull at your collar and Hannibal’s eyes track the movement. “Still. I’ve never felt such a connection with any other killer. It’s weird… When I see his murders, I can feel exactly what he was feeling.” Hannibal raises his eyebrows, nonverbally asking you to elaborate. “Typically, I can sense what the killer was feeling at the time of the murder. With the Ripper, though, I can genuinely feel what he felt. The sensation takes a few hours to subside. Then, I’m left feeling strangely… empty.”

“The Ripper gives your life purpose.” You swallow hard and take a deep breath at that. You’re unable to utter any words; you wrap your arms around yourself, feeling the need to shield yourself from everything. Your breaths start to feel a bit more laborious. After a few moments, you chance a glance up at Hannibal. You’re expecting eyes gleaming in distrust, posture tight with discomfort, anything. You’re certainly not expecting the strange mix of pride and hunger written in the slight pull to his lips. “I’m not one to question how another conducts their life.” The complex expression resting on Hannibal’s face is rather unnerving. You have to take a few seconds to actively process and comprehend his statement.

“Sure you aren’t,” you remark loftily. Hannibal’s gaze sharpens and intensifies significantly. You meet his eyes and raise your eyebrows. Hannibal is one of the most judgmental people you’ve ever met—he just knows how to hide it behind a charming twist of his lips. You almost utter those words aloud, before you realize that the psychiatrist’s attention has been captured by the elegant watch sitting on his wrist.

Hannibal smiles apologetically at you and, for a moment, it almost looks sincere. You resist the urge to call him out on the gesture. “It looks like we’re out of time for today,” he remarks. “Shall we continue this conversation next week?”

“Sure,” you agree easily. The time had really flown by. Usually, your sessions felt a lot longer. Although, you’ve had a lot weighing on your mind recently. Indeed, your shoulders feel lighter when you get up to your feet. You smile at Hannibal. “Bye.” As you walk away, you feel his eyes digging into your back. Even as you get in your car and drive away, his words run through your mind.

The Ripper gives your life purpose.

chapter four

[lemonhemlock]

Curious your thoughts on something I haven’t seen many people bring up regarding season two, but please forgive me if you’ve discussed before: Dyana. Not her existence in season one (I honestly didn’t have much of a problem with that, although I completely understand why people do and it’s both boring and showing a lack of media comprehension to reply to every post about Aegon with a reminder that he’s a rapist, as if he alone is the one person in Westeros to hold this distinction.) But the fact that she is brought back in season two for multiple episodes, where she is connected to Elinda (??) and helps to start the riots in KL- but the story never reminds you who she is? I saw a few reviewers make the connection, but an equal amount of people just didn’t seem to remember her at all. And without the reminder, why would you, it’s been years between seasons! It seems like such a small thing, but clearly they chose to bring back this character for a reason. She doesn’t even have a moment where she seems to recognize Aegon? It is just an odd choice to me! I was wondering your thoughts (if any, I know many of these writing choices can be hard to explain.)

I hate the whole riots-in-King's Landing / city-on-lockdown-yet-people-come-and-go-like-it's-the-Grand-Central-Station / famine-after-two-weeks-of-blockade-even-though-the-main-source-of-food-is-from-the-west /dragonseed-recruitment so much because they're so insultingly nonsensical.

With Dyana, I think they wanted to flesh out her character more in a way that wouldn't make her outright involved in child murder by associating her with Blood & Cheese, but still give her some agency in participating somehow in the deposition of her rapist? Hence the whole organizing riots thing.

I mean........ it would maybe work if the riots weren't such a stupid idea in the first place? Dyana trying to get back at Aegon for what he did to her is not a crazy, unbelievable notion, but it is another half-baked, half-executed idea that they threw in and didn't have time to build upon. I would have cut them some slack considering the writers' strike, but hearing GRRM say that the scripts were re-written something like 4-5 times, IDEK anymore. By your fifth freaking draft you should have caught inaccuracies and logistics problems like this.

They should have plenty of food at this stage! Nothing has even happened yet, the only King's Landers that have died were those killed by Meleys (AHEM). Also, it's like anyone can sneak into King's Landing and organize themselves in a bona fide resistance, even though a highly competent Master or Whisperers is supposedly keeping the city under lock and key, but there's not a hint of any similar anti-Rhaenyra rebel activity on Dragonstone. Sure.

As for Dyana specifically, her re-introduction was not done efficiently at all. Like you said, we know who she is, but all the randos watching will have effectively forgotten about her. Aegon doesn't even notice her. He has no reaction. She has no reaction. They don't even interact. She gets no speaking lines. (?) She gets not a sliver of conversation explaining her conversion to insurrectionism.

[dollarstoreartsupplies]

I need you all to know that I’m considering A Little Too Deeply the fact that Cynthia is the only pink lady whose family we haven’t met? Like we know more about the t-birds families than hers (and most of the soc’s families tbh)

Her house may have been the one we’ve spent the most time in (other than jane’s) and her family is NEVER there (to the extent she and Lydia could make out consistently for what was presumably weeks without being even slightly concerned about being caught) we don’t see ANYONE coming to see her in the play or being worried when she wasn’t there and no one seems to be home when she gets back clearly miserable from the dance

Like I know logically, as a Show with Pacing, it’s probably just because she’s got enough going on and her family doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things but also SHES A KID??? She’s got SUCH clear issues with Belonging and Not Wanting To Be Emotionally Invested In Something Incase She Just Gets Hurt Later which is definitely mostly just a queer teen in the 1950s thing but also does part of it stem from her being PROBABLY AT LEAST A LITTLE NEGLECTED AT HOME????

anyway I am overthinking about that

(ALSO I know we see that one dudes arm in like the second episode but thats it and all that establishes is she Has A Guardian and we’ve NEVER SEEN OR HEARD about him again)

[darklydeliciousdesires]

Little Earthquakes - Chapter Seven.

Previous chapters - Prologue One Two Three Four Five Six

Tag list - In the comments. Please DM to be added/removed.

Words - 3,525

Warnings - 18+ throughout. Minors DNI!

It had been two weeks since she’d seen Nathan, Holly beginning to wonder whether she’d done something wrong. At first, he’d had to cancel their planned Friday night date out of busyness, promising to see her the following week. It had been a promise yet to materialise a further week on from then, her messages beginning to go unanswered, too.  

Her natural reaction was to wonder whether he was going off her, perhaps realising this casual dating thing they had wasn’t for him after all, but didn’t really know how to come out and tell her that. This truly wasn’t on brand for the kind of guy he was, though. As he’d said right from the start, he was straight up, he didn’t mess people around, and she believed that. However, this was odd behaviour, and it definitely negated his words. 

Either way, she wouldn’t chase after him. The ball was now in his court, Holly carrying on with her life. She couldn’t deny it, though. She missed him. 

“I think I’ve been ghosted.” 

Kate paused from dipping a tortilla chip into the sour cream between them, gaping ever so slightly. “From Nathan?” It was hard to hear, given how into her friend he’d seemed, both witnessing it herself and from hearing Holly’s gushing over how lovely he was. 

“Yeah. He's stopped replying to messages. I haven’t heard anything from him for five days now. Not sure what to do, other than leave the ball in his court, y’know.” It was Friday night, and she and Kate were having a few snacks before going out to meet up with a couple of their old friends from uni, sitting on the latter’s sofa watching a few episodes of Gogglebox.  

“That’s, well. That’s strange, hun. He’s been so into you over the last two and a half months, all I’ve heard from you is how lovely he is and what a good time you guys are having together. Are you sure he’s not just busy?” 

Her darling Kate. She always sought the best in people before jumping to the worst conclusions. “He said that,” she replied, scooping salsa onto the chip and popping it into her mouth with a loud crunch. “It’s the fact he isn’t messaging me back, though. I’m just being left on read.” 

Kate’s face was a picture of surprise. “I don’t know what to say. I mean, men can be so bloody useless, can’t they? They don’t understand the urgency of replying to messages like we do, don’t realise our minds start going to the ‘but what if he doesn’t like me’ place more or less straight away. I mean, sometimes that’s just who they are. Hell, I’d never hold my breath waiting for the lummox to return a Whatsapp. I’d die!” 

“I heard that!” 

“You were meant to!” she shouted in the direction of the kitchen, Greg, her husband poking his head around the door with a huge grin. “I think leaving the ball in his court is the best idea. If he gets in touch, great. If he doesn’t, then we need to apply the Miranda Hobbes adage to the situation, tough as it might be to hear.” 

As two die hard Sex and the City fans, she knew exactly what Kate referenced. It was tough, too, to have to reconcile that Nathan might just not be that into her. Whenever they were together, he acted anything but. He was affectionate and attentive, which made his radio silence even more baffling to fathom.  

Kate’s usual no nonsense advice was probably the truth she needed to hear, though, no matter how much she pined for Nathan. If he wasn’t into her, then that was just the way it was. At thirty-four, she was beyond waiting around for a man. She wouldn’t let herself hang around in the fringes of his life while he decided whether or not he truly wanted to bring her into it properly.  

They met up with their friends a couple of hours later, sitting outside at a bar in Marylebone, enjoying the bright summer evening. It was just as Kate was recounting a hilarious story of Greg and a decorating mishap that had led him to end up walking right off the end of a wallpaper pasting table that Holly’s phone beeped, unlocking the screen and feeling her heart quicken in an instant. 

“Cutie!!! I’m so pissing sorry I’ve been MIA! Been up to my ears in work :( I know, I’m a bad man and you have full permission to smack my arse for not replying to you. I’d love to meet up with you tonight if you’re free?xx’ 

Part of her wanted to let him stew for a while, make herself unavailable, but she didn’t really go in for those kinds of game playing tactics. He’d offered an explanation and apology. Surely, that was good enough? 

“I’m out with some old uni friends right now. I’ve missed you, too. It’s nice to hear from you. I can meet tomorrow, if you like?xx” 

Immediately, she saw that he was typing a reply. 

“Nah, where are you? Really want to see you now! Can’t cope with another day and no Holly!!xx” 

“Girls, would any of you mind having a man crash our evening? Nathan, the guy I’m dating just messaged to ask,” she inquired, her friends’ faces all lighting up. 

“Is he cute?” Trina asked. Going to her camera roll, she located a picture of her and Nathan, turning the screen. A few little coos abounded, seeing the image of them standing all cuddled up in her back garden she’d taken a few weeks prior. “He is! Tell him yes! Oh, look at his hair, wow!” 

Wendy then chimed in, taking a look. “Hmm, not my type, but I don’t mind!” 

“So, he finally gets in touch,” Kate spoke, giving her a little elbow nudge. “See? Told you he was probably just busy.” Turning to the group, she continued. “Wait until you see them together. They’re so adorable! He’s such a sweetie.”  

“Very different from your usual type, though!” Penny, the third of the group announced, Holly tapping out a quick message to let him know where she was. 

“I know, he really is. But he’s bloody gorgeous and so sweet, too.”  

Kate snorted into her cocktail glass. “The seven-inch pierced cock doesn’t hurt either.” 

Much screaming and whooping followed, Holly hiding her face.  

“Oh, my life!” Trina cried, clasping her hands together. “What does it feel like?” 

“Exactly as you’d imagine,” she revealed. “As do the two studs in his tongue.” More screaming. “I am telling you, that man is an absolute god in bed.” And yes, a little more screaming after that as the girls all descended into hysteria.  

Reading his reply, she saw he’d be with them in just over half an hour, Holly going to get him a beer before sitting there fizzing with excitement that she finally got to see him again after two long weeks and no lovely man.  

She was in the middle of hearing Trina speak about her very interesting day at her gallery when two tattooed arms folded around her from behind, a flurry of kisses pressed to her cheek.  

“Missed you, gorgeous!” he announced loudly, vaulting over the barrier that bordered the outside area of the bar. “Alright, ladies!”  

“Hello, Nathan,” they all chimed as he picked up the pint of beer waiting for him, thanking Holly, and then promptly downing it. 

“Crapping hell, Nath!” she exclaimed as he placed the empty glass down again. 

“I was thirsty.” Pausing, he then burped discreetly, beaming a grin. “Excuse me. Right, what’s that mad looking brown stuff in there that you’re all drinking?” 

“An urban bourbon cowboy,” Wendy revealed, snort laughing at the confused look on his face. 

“An urban, bour... whaty, what, what?” 

The women all descended into laughter. “An urban bourbon cowboy!” Kate spoke for him again, having him move to give her a big hug and a kiss, almost knocking her from her chair with his enthusiasm. Something told her he’d probably already had a few drinks before arriving with them. He seemed a little more live wire than usual.  

He looked to Holly, shaking his head. “I ain’t ever gonna remember that, nah. Come help me, I’ll get a round in.” They returned after a few minutes, Nathan placing down two large pitchers of cocktails on the table, the women thanking him, charmed by his generosity. He took a seat, welcoming Holly onto his lap, his hand beginning to smooth up her thigh as he reached for one of the two pints she’d carried out for him.  

“Seriously, I really missed you, baby.” He kissed the side of her neck, grinning at her adoringly, Holly feeling her insides melt. Baby. He’d never called her that before.  

“So then, how did you meet our lovely friend here, Nathan?” Trina asked, the man himself taking a big swig of beer before placing the glass back on the table. His head was buzzed already from the amount of vodka he’d drunk while over in Ealing, hanging out with the guys from the MC that night before deciding he really, really wanted to see Holly. 

“We were in the same class at school,” he began, “and I always fancied her but never had the courage to ask her out. Then she came into my shop and I did the tattoo on her leg, and it all went from there.” 

A few coos resounded at hearing that. “Well, you both look very in tune with one another. She’s been singing your praises.”  

“Oh yeah?” he asked, watching Holly suddenly snort with laughter and hide her face against his neck. “Ahh. I know what you told your friends! She’s been telling you about a certain piercing I’ve got, ain’t she?” 

Snorts of laughter filled the air, Kate holding up her hand. “Nope, that was me!” 

He couldn’t help himself. “I’ll show you, if you want?” 

“You wouldn’t,” Trina teased him, leaning across the table with a big grin. 

He matched her lean, grinning widely. “How much do you wanna bet I wouldn’t?” 

“Nathan, calm down,” Holly warned, moving his hand when he went to unfasten his jeans. 

“Get up a minute,” he spoke, patting her thigh. He wasn’t serious?  

“Nath, stop!” she cried, grasping his jaw and turning his head to kiss him, hopefully distracting him. God, he was certainly amped up more than usual.  

He chuckled filthily. “Alright, I’ll stop, I'll stop.” He then looked right at Trina. “When she goes to the loo, I’ll show you then, sweetheart.” He winked, accompanying it with a little click of his tongue, sending the women into hysterics. “So, all of you went to UAL too then, yeah?” 

They confirmed yes, Nathan seeming to settle and calm down as he asked into their respective careers, being attentive, listening to what each of them revealed. As he did, Holly felt her insides unclench a little after being so taken by surprise at his slightly altered behaviour. He could be a little frisky when he’d had a drink, as could she, but honestly, she was the only thing that had stopped him from revealing himself right there in public. It was very unlike him to act in such a way. 

They continued having a good night together, Holly slowing down her alcohol intake a little while he sped his up, everything fine until another behaviour she wasn’t used to seeing in him manifested itself. 

“Oi mate!” a man from the next table called, attracting his attention. “How the fuck did a skinny, scruffy, tattooed fuck like you manage to get a girl like her?” 

Immediately, his brows furrowed, Holly answering before he did. “Being bloody lovely, is how he did.”  

“Don’t think much of your taste, love,” the man remarked, obviously spoiling for something. 

“And I don’t think much of your mouth, bruv,” Nathan spoke, glaring at him. “Unless you want it cut to fucking pieces on a glass, I’d watch it if I was you, you gobby fucking gammon cunt.”  

“Oi, don’t threaten me, sunshine,” the man pointed, “just having a laugh with ya, yeah?” 

“I ain’t stupid, you prick. Nah, fuck that. Weren’t a threat either, it was a promise.”  

The man lunged, his friends grabbing him, Nathan trying to move Holly but struggling as she wrapped her arms around him. “Nath, Nathan! Stop it! Just ignore him, he’s pissed and looking for a fight.”  

“Sorry, guys,” one of his friends spoke, moving him away. “Your missus is right though, mate. He’s just drunk, he don’t mean it.”  

“Yeah?” Nathan snapped, pointing at him. “I fucking do. He looks at me again and I’ll fucking cut him, you understand?” 

“Nathan!” Holly exclaimed, feeling her cheeks begin to tingle. Good god, this was so unlike him to be aggressive. He hated fighting, wasn’t one for violence at all, his body rigid with agitation beneath hers. “Look at me, Nath.” 

Finally, she had two shards of green fury tear themselves away from the other table, stroking his face as he looked at her. “Calm down. He’s just being a drunken wanker.” It sent the mood at the table crashing down, Holly apologising to her friends, telling them it was best they leave so she could get him out of an environment that cracked with hostility. It was embarrassing to say the least, for them to meet her new guy and have him behave like that, no matter that he wasn’t the instigator.  

As soon as she’d gotten him into an Uber, though, he was immediately back to the Nathan she knew. 

“Fuck, I'm so sorry. I shouldn’t have risen to him like that,” he lamented, grasping her hand. “I'm just a bit pissed and he irritated me. Already feel like you’re too good for me, don’t need some gammon twat pissing rubbing it in, I’m telling you.”  

“Is everything okay with you?” she found herself immediately asking. “Because this is all very out of character, and I know I’m still getting to know you, but things aren’t adding up for me. You stopped replying to me, stopped wanting to see me and then you turn up tonight already quite drunk and start acting in a way that just doesn’t fit.” 

Glancing down, he sighed, his jaw tightening a little. “I’ll tell you when we get back to yours.”  

Her stomach dropped a little there, knowing her intuition wasn’t off, that there definitely something amiss with him. In a way, though, it was relieving as well. This out of character behaviour had a cause, one he was willing to open up and reveal to her. Once back at her flat – and after prising a bottle of bourbon from his clutches – she made them both a coffee instead and sat down on the sofa next to him, Nathan taking a little while to gather his thoughts before speaking. 

“Oh, hell upon hell,” he began, scratching the back of his neck. “I hate this. Right, so I filed for divorce just over a fortnight ago, like I said to you I was gonna do when I got that number for the solicitor from you. Lisa hit the pissing roof.”  

Sitting there next to him, she could only wonder why. A cold feeling crept over her, that perhaps he was about to tell her that he couldn’t see her any longer, that the reason Lisa had hit the roof was because she wanted them to reconcile. Of course, that made little sense in the face of him being so adamant to meet her that night, but she couldn’t help her thoughts. Keeping silent, though, she sat with patience as he continued. 

“It weren’t even because of anything big either, simply the fucking grounds I’d filed it on. Unreasonable behaviour, which she then accused me of and we got into a huge row before I kicked her out the shop. She fucking called me a useless excuse for a man, too, the bitch, and that’s been pissing bugging the life out of me. Yeah, it’s been proper messing with my head ever since and I ain’t been right. Fucking drinking too much, doing things I shouldn’t be doing, avoiding you.”  

Watching him continue to scratch, she saw the way agitation corded in his muscles, his arms tense, reaching to stroke his shoulder. “I think that’s understandable, given what she did to you and then turning up like that screaming, saying the things she did. I don’t understand why you’ve avoided me, though. What did I do?” 

“That’s the point,” he scoffed. “You did nothing wrong, but I...” He paused, closing his eyes tightly, clutching the sides of his head between his hands. “It’s pissing scaring the shit out of me, for real, how much I like you. Can’t get hurt like that again, Holly. Nah. Can’t let it happen.”  

Sliding off the sofa, she crouched before him, taking his face in her hands. “Nathan, I can’t say I’m never going to hurt you, I can’t know that. I might have a bad day at some point in the future and say something regrettable in the heat of the moment because I’m human, but I can tell you this. I’ll never lie to you or deceive you. I’ll never willingly hurt you like she did. I’m not her, y’know. You can trust me, but you’ve got to let yourself trust me. All well and good for me to say, I know that. Give me a chance, though,” she stated, stroking his cheekbones, watching him nodding. 

“You might not want me to,” he suddenly snorted. “I’ve been with other girls since we started dating. Trying to convince myself I’m not as fucking into you as I am. Which is stupid, because I legit adore you, Holly.” 

She couldn’t say it didn’t make her heart sink unpleasantly to hear that, especially given her own circumstances, but at least he was honest. He’d told her off his own back, which was more than Dean ever had. “We never discussed exclusivity, did we? I won’t lie, it hurts to hear you’ve been with other women, but I still stand by what I just said. We didn’t say we were exclusive. If we had then I’d be punching you on the nose about now.” 

He laughed softly through said nose, resting his forehead to hers. “Seriously, nah. You’re so fucking lovely and I’m just this mess of a person, for real. What do you see in me?” 

God, Lisa had dented his self-esteem so badly. It was the second comment he’d made that night that reflected as much. “You’re kind, you’re sweet, you’re an absolute god in bed – and yes I told my friends in as many words!” He laughed much louder at that, Holly pausing for a moment. “You make me laugh, you’re fun to be around, you’re interesting and thoughtful, and you’re so bloody talented, too. Oh, and you’re about one of the most gorgeous men I’ve ever seen! Look, I can’t say forget about all this damage Lisa did to you and just move on, it isn’t that simple, sadly. At least trust me enough to help you get over it and begin that moving on, though?” 

Trust her. But how could he? He’d sank into Eden with Lisa without a second thought, and she’d hurt him more than his fragile heart could truly withstand. What she’d said was right, though. She wasn’t Lisa. If he was to move forward and truly heal from the wreck of his marriage, he knew he needed to find a little trust, or he’d be stuck there forever. He would be exactly all the things his estranged wife had told him he was. 

“Dunno how to.” He received a slightly exasperated sigh at that, covering her hands with his. “Sorry, I’m not trying to be difficult, but it’s fucking scary.” 

“Okay, I understand that. It’s just a matter of knowing what’s the worst that could happen? You’ve already been there, doesn’t get much worse than that, does it?” His head shake confirmed no. “And there’s a fifty percent chance this thing with us will go beautifully, and you’ll settle and trust you’re safe enough to feel happy, right?” A nod confirmed yes. “So, you have to be brave, and hold onto that fifty percent. If I’m honest, I’d like to say it’s even higher than that, because I’m a bloody catch, you know.” 

His smile widened in an instant. “Oh, I fucking know you are, cutie.” 

“Next time you feel upset about Lisa, or like you want to dive into a bottle for comfort, call me. Talk to me. Let me be there for you and I promise, I’ll become your comfort rather than the person you’re scared of getting in too deep with. As I should be, if I’m going to be your girlfriend at some point. In case you haven’t realised it, I’d actually quite like to be.” 

Oh, he had. The way he kissed her as he lifted her onto his lap confirmed that, too.  

[wiltedp1nkrose]

🌠🌌Another Nexus ramble🤯🎀

I’m honestly kinda mad at the fact Solar Immediately gave up on nexus after seeing what he was told he would see just because he found out that nexus didn’t have the ruin virus but what if it was a different virus like something that dark sun made or the creator wait what if it was the creator because he’s already made a curious with moon and kc and nexus and currently acting oddly similar not to even mention how nexus can sound like kc at times and what If it was to serve as some type of distraction for what he’s been planning to do because the way nexus has the same goals and morals and the creator is so odd to me because it’s literally the same thinking process but it also could have been dark sun too like dark sun had so many opportunities to infect nexus since the whole family was distracted with solars death and I just find it odd how nexus always seems more normal around dark sun and how he doesn’t feel anything bad about him and just listen to anything he says in a way like it’s just odd to me and now everything seems so wired this nexus like he constantly goes back on forth on how he feels about Solar and anything for that matter like how he instantly abandons any plan after maybe a month or a couple of week or barely over a week like everything with him just seems so scattered and how he pushes everyone away out of fear of get hurt because of him caring and loving them to much knowing he couldn’t save them and out of fear of being controlled cause that’s all he’s seen since he’s been alive lunar being controlled by eclipse , earth and of moon being controlled by the creator , sun in the past being controlled by moon and eclipse, blood moon under ruin’s control, like everyone besides him is under control of someone he’s probably scared of being controlled next or because he’s scared to lose any more control over his life and actions since his life was already chosen for him because ‘he was made to just be a better moon’ he probably already felt like he didn’t have much say in anything like he had very limited options already so being under someone’s control should only worsen that pain like I haven’t been watching any Tsams episode’s recently since it’s all just old moon stuff and I hate getting second hand embarrassment for nexus cause I love him so much like a relate to him so badly it hurts to see how much his character is devolving and how nexus is just getting worse and worse mentally with no help and with no one having any faith in him the only person he’s around being dark sun who is very clearly a part of the reason they are like this and who just continues to feel into their disordered thinking and actions

[chainofclovers]

Ted Lasso 3x5 Thoughts

(Hello hello last week was so bleak; turns out I was pretty significantly ill and as soon as my doc and I got things figured out and I got on antibiotics, I became a human being capable of thinking consecutive thoughts and enjoying the things I like.)

One of the things I like is TV show Ted Lasso. I think this was my favorite episode of the season. Or at least it was the episode that, at the end of watching, gave me the most concrete I love this show and I love the pacing and I love the story being told and I love these characters feelings I’ve had all season…and I’ve basically felt that way on some level after every s3 ep (with the exception of 3x4, which left me very unsettled, but also, I was very sick). 

Rebecca:

I am so…proud of her?!

Her panic when she didn’t know who to put as her Emergency Contact broke my heart. She’s so aware of the things she’s lacking right now, even as she does have people she loves. 

I absolutely love that Shite in Nining Armor was stupid John Wingsnight’s stupid fiancee’s slip of the tongue. I love that Rebecca had no chill in asking her to confirm what she said. I love that John was wearing his idiotic double-Manchester scarf, and I love that in the later scenes in the episode Rebecca was also wearing an asymmetrical scarf with a color gradient. 

I absolutely loved every single thing about her choice to see a fertility doctor. Right after the ep ended, my wife said that she thinks that in the end, as Rebecca looks back on her life, she will be comforted by the fact that she tried, that she sought the information, that she admitted to herself that there was something she really wanted and chose to go after the information she needed to find out if it was possible. I agree completely. Also Hannah Waddingham played every moment with that phone call in her office so, so perfectly. Her face always says a million things. 

Keeley:

(I already understood that Keeley was bi but) Keeley is bi! Jack is bi! They hit it off and are having fun! 

I think the moment when they’re drinking vodka and Keeley says she used to be a happy person is one of Juno Temple’s absolute best acting moments in this entire series, and I say that as someone who generally absolutely adores the choices she makes as Keeley.

The complexity of where she is in her life warms my heart so much. She’s learning a million new things every day. She’s attracted to Jack and feels a connection that she wants to explore. She’s still hurting over Roy and is able to admit that. 

It really broke my heart that she didn’t register that Rebecca was calling her, even though I completely understood why she didn’t. If I was in that situation, my phone would be the last thing on my mind. But I love that Rebecca’s first call was to Keeley, and her not picking up is very much in conversation with Rebecca’s lack of obvious Emergency Contact, I think. (Keeley would be a great Emergency Contact! It was just one phone call! But it hurts! Is it weird that I keep capitalizing Emergency Contact?)

I have mixed feelings about how all the Shandy stuff went down. I would have preferred it if Shandy had continued to be a more nuanced character in terms of her potential and her skills. Maybe we haven’t seen the last of her? I think that based on what happened, Keeley was right to let her go, but everything Shandy had to say and do in the first few eps of the season felt like there was a lot of depth behind it, and since she’s a person of color in a vastly majority white office environment it doesn’t really hit quite right that her firing felt primarily like a lesson Keeley needed to learn. I did really love her bridge-burning goodbye speech, though. Who wouldn’t want to yell “fascist fucks” in an awkward corporate setting?! Team Shandy. 

Nate:

Nate practicing with his mom: adorable.

Nate being really really into Taste of Athens in Tooting: stressful.

Nate beautifully articulating why it’s important to him and refusing to go along with Anastasia’s ridicule of the place: lovely. 

Beard and Roy (and a little Trent) and Ted and Coaching:

I love how much of a duo Beard and Roy are this season, and how fiercely Beard was ready to go to Kansas even while there were so many things happening with the team. That was a genuine act of family right there! And Roy got in on the action too, with his horrifying assault fantasy! The weird love between all these men sends my heart aflutter! 

I’m also endlessly fascinated with Ted once again having the beginnings of a panic attack in very close physical proximity to his fellow coaches. I’m into Trent’s gay Let the Good Times Roll mug. 

One of my favorite things about last week’s episode was Ted’s decision not to drink before the call with Michelle; it was really important that he didn’t numb himself before saying the things he needed to say. And for weirdly similar reasons, I kinda like that he was defaulting to pouring some water while the call with Michelle connected, then he switched to whiskey at the mention of Jake having taken Henry to the park. Whenever Ted is alone, the choices and things happening physically (his kitchen looked quite neat in that scene, and the open peanut butter wasn’t fighting for counter space with other items) tell so much of the story, and I’ve continued to love how that storytelling is handled.

Ted had a good parenting moment with Henry! His father’s lesson about anger transferred to Ted and then to Henry! Ted’s dad never met his grandson, but he helped him today! (Also, the absolute CRINGE image of Henry performing an apology rap…the incredibly dorky apple doesn’t fall far from the incredibly dorky tree.) It’s not lost on me that after this major parenting win, then a successful staving off of the panic attack by reminding himself that Henry is okay, it only takes a tiny bit of prodding from his team to return to finer coaching form. I love that he rips the sign further. I have been curious about whether or not he’d talk to the team about Nate, but so much time passed between 3x4 and 3x5 that maybe we’ll never know about that. But I love that in the 7 weeks between episodes, the sign stayed up in its ripped state, and I love that he addresses belief more concretely than he’s ever done precisely by taking the concrete symbol out of the equation. 

Higgins

Higgins brought the problems with the coaching staff to Rebecca! He continues to be one of the bravest people on this show. 

I love how stricken Rebecca looked when he got the words out, too. Her desk was positively strewn with biscuit crumbs. 

And he was smart about psychics and said the thing that I really hoped would be the whole point of Tish, in terms of this being an opportunity for Rebecca to see some things more clearly.

Rebecca and Ted:

OK, my brain is full of all the stuff I just talked about, but my brain is mostly full of that hallway scene. Yeah.

If it mattered less, I could………………[you know how this one goes]

[anonymous-dentist]

i absolutely love bad romance, it's my favorite qsmp fanfic and i mean it!!! i love reading roier's povs and i feel like there's so little of it so i really feel spoiled with this one, his madness is ON POINT!!!!!

love the way you describe and write dialogues, even if it's not their mother language i STILL CAN SEE THEM SAYING THAT. i'm brazilian and idk, reading the dialogues feels pretty natural so i think you should be proud of it!

also. i'm so normal about the fact that cell thinks he has everything under control like, he has the capacity to just leave this poor maniac man behind if he needs to. but. he really doesn't know he can't and roier is just sooooo normal about him that every little interaction messes with his head like alejaoakKLSJAKEJALEDB MAN I DON'T KNOW, I LOVE THEIR DYNAMIC AND IN MY OPINION bad romance is the best fic in exploring both f!cell and c!roier

one thing that got me confused is when cell pointa at roier's shoulder and asks “it wasn't you, was it?”, when they're having dinner. indon't know if we're supposed to be confused or if i'm just dumb and i wanted to know kajeoajpsakle

ANYWAY SORRY FOR RAMBLING MAN IDK THIS IS EMBARRASSING but i get very excited about the things i really enjoy and i like your writing and works a lot so!!! thank's for the update 😳👍

So about the “It wasn’t you, was it?” it wasn’t supposed to be super clear because Roier was kinda going through sepsis atm and wasn’t able to like. Think. But it’s actually Cell thinking back to when Roier sliced his own neck open to try and get his attention in chapter two. Cell was gonna be pissed if this dude slowed their road trip down for that, but, luckily, it was just a gunshot wound. Yay?

Meanwhile with the dynamics, I kinda just looked at the twitter art that inspired me and I was like. Cute, but there’s no way it’d be that cute. Because I’ve seen three whole episodes of Fuga Impossível and I figured that Cell would 100% try and be on top of every single situation he’s put in, even this one, but, like he did with Pac and Mike, he’s severely underestimating Roier rn. Because Roier is literally so unstable that he’s completely unpredictable, and Cell is a very logical man. He can tell there’s something up with Roier, but, again, like with Pac and Mike, Cell’s ego is getting a bit ahead of him. He’s going through this huge emotional turmoil rn and Roier is completely oblivious because he’s decided they’re already engaged. He’s just waiting for the proposal. And if he doesn’t get one, then he’ll just make Cell give him one. He has nothing to lose except for Cell, and he’s never going to give him up. Ever.

…If that makes sense. Tbh this fic is a struggle to write sometimes because I haven’t really seen either Chafaland or Fuga Impossível and I don’t speak either Spanish or Portuguese, so I’m working entirely off of vibes. So I’m glad to see the dialogue is coming off okay? Lol

TLDR; there’s no shot fcell and croier would both be disgustingly horribly in love with each other at first sight, give it a couple of weeks

[ncisfranchise-source]

Did NCIS: Origins‘ Gibbs create rule 12 because of his feelings for Lala? Austin Stowell thinks so.

“There’s a reason that people who work together sometimes end up getting together. It’s that they understand each other,” Stowell, 39, exclusively told Us Weekly. “There’s a lot of Lala in Gibbs and vice versa that they see a bit of a mirror image. But they’re both very stubborn.”

Stowell noted that the chemistry between Gibbs and Lala (Mariel Molino) could not have come at a worse time.

“At this point, we’re still just months after Gibbs lost his wife and child. Even if those emotions are creeping in, he probably is quieting them and feeling as if he shouldn’t have those feelings,” the actor explained. “If his wife and daughter were still alive, he would be with them. It is only because of their death — their murder — that he blames himself for that he’s even in the position and interacting with the people he’s with.”

NCIS: Origins follows a young Gibbs — a role originated by Mark Harmon — years prior to the events of NCIS. The new series picks up less than a year after Gibbs’ wife and daughter were killed. During season 1, Gibbs starts a new job as a special agent at the NIS Camp Pendleton office while still dealing with the aftermath of losing his family.

“The turmoil that probably causes him [is obvious]. [This week’s] episode was a great example of that, where you see Gibbs and Lala physically getting intimate for the first time and having to work together,” Stowell told Us. “That’s where their bond is created. When you go through experiences with another person — particularly ones where you have to overcome a certain endeavor and succeed — that can be a real bonding memory for the two of you. That event can be the catalyst for something more.”

Despite Gibbs and Lala’s obvious tension, the potential couple is “very cognizant” of the fact that they are coworkers.

“It would not be a good idea. Rule 12, we haven’t seen that rule get written yet. It might be in [Gibbs’] box, I’m not sure,” Stowell explained about the list Gibbs created for himself. “But he might not have had a reason to write that rule if he was with [his wife] Shannon already. So there might be some edits to the rules coming up.”

NCIS fans already know that rule 12 states that Gibbs should “never date a coworker.” Stowell doesn’t know if that’s where the story is going, but he has no doubt that Gibbs really cares for Lala.

“Certainly his attraction to Lala has as much to do with who she is as a person as her aesthetic value,” he continued. “He sees something inside her that lights him up.”

Stowell has a multitude of thoughts about where NCIS: Origins could go — but he doesn’t have any inside information.

“At the beginning, the writers’ room let us know certain overarching story lines that might play out. But what [creators] Gina [Lucita Monreal] and David [J. North] have said from the very beginning is that they wanted to write for us and get to know us and see what works as we’re shooting. So I think we are informing them about their own characters as we go episode to episode,” he noted. “I’m not many episodes ahead. And we still have crimes to solve and memories to go back to. There are certain events coming in the next few episodes that are incredibly important to the story of NCIS and to the story of Gibbs that I’m really excited to share with the fans of the show.”

Stowell couldn’t contain his love for the opportunity to star on NCIS: Origins, sharing, “To have the NCIS universe continue to grow and to be part of this canon now is really great. It’s a lot of fun to be a part of. I just wasn’t anticipating loving it as much as I do. And trust me, I love all the characters that I play. It just has become so important to me because I can feel how important it is to other people. I like that people can look at Gibbs and say, ‘That’s a real person.'”

He added: “The fact that I’m playing a character who is dealing with his own issues with mental health — something that’s very near and dear to my heart — and how to overcome those issues or certainly how to face them. There is reason upon reason for me to love this and to feel like the luckiest guy in the world. I feel like this was meant to be.”

While reflecting on the show, which received a full season order, Stowell credited the entire cast and crew for NCIS: Origins‘ ongoing success.

“That is what I think makes our show so special and it’s what drew me to it from the very beginning. This all starts with our roadmap — these scripts and this incredible writing — that we’ve gotten from David and Gina, who were writers on the show on NCIS for 20 years,” he detailed. “They’re arguably taking the biggest risk out of all of us because we’re all probies. The whole cast is probies. But [the creators] were the ones who came from the mothership, who had a responsibility to tell a story that the fans would love.”

Stowell was extremely proud of the impact that NCIS: Origins has had, adding, “The fact that David and Gina went out on the limb that they did and created what I consider is a network-changing story line, I cannot thank them enough for it. Personally, this is a character that I jump out of bed to play in the morning. I am very honored that I have been tapped to be Gibbs. It means a lot to me and I didn’t expect it to mean so much to me. Just in the first five months, I have grown so much as a human being. I am Gibbs’ biggest fan now. It’s a dream job.”