#I have to do all his premiums next

[thatfanfictionchick]

JESUS FUCK JUST PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY 😭

[kanonavi]

Sometimes I wake up and I wonder why they made Kazuha’s demo theme Like That.

Like, the fact that they used the song from his teaser for the drumalong festival event means that hoyo definitely knows it too. His teaser contains his main leitmotif along with other important motives from the Inazuma soundtrack (which made it a fantastic preview for the nation’s style since we hadn’t even been there yet) and is overall very representative of Kazuha, but that’s just how the teaser soundtracks are supposed to be. They hint towards the characters’ main motives before we get the full version in the actual demo.

And then they made Kazuha’s demo theme a glorified 4 star theme. There’s really no other way to describe it! I could totally be missing something, but the most prominent musical motif in his demo song is the battle theme. His main motif is nowhere to be found and that’s just really sad because Kazuha’s main motif is so so good. It really does just feel like he got robbed musically in a way that literally no other character who was released around his time was (ie. Eula, Ayaka, and Yoimiya)

Take me to the alternate timeline where we got a cool demo version of Kazuha’s leitmotif instead of what we ended up with. Cuz as cool as his demo video is (and it is! I really do love it!) the music is always so disappointing compared to the teaser

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for sabotaging my boyfriend's hookup with his girlfriend by filling his sex playlist with DJ Crazytimes

I (28NB, they/he) have known my boyfriend (call him C, 29M, he/him) for some 15ish years now. As long as I've known him, he has been on and off again with his girlfriend (call him T, 29NB, he/him). Respectfully, and with love, C and T are two of the worst and most annoying people I know. I want to marry them both specifically so that I can study them under a microscope like a parasitic virus.

Technically they're monogamous, but they're both hooking up with other people (myself included), usually the same people, because they have the same taste in lovers (bad). I have suggested that they give actual polyamory a try, and they reject the idea wholeheartedly. I think they get off on their dynamic, and far be it from me to try more than the bare minimum to dissuade them from it.

A couple months back, they got into a fight and broke up (again) because T (who was unemployed at the time) stole $50 from C (who works at GameStop) so that he could pay for a tank of gas (using C's car) to go hook up with another guy a couple states over. C was not upset that T was hooking up with another guy (because he was Also hooking up with that guy and knew he would not have a leg to stand on), but because of the stolen money + car.

C and I currently live together, because you can't afford an apartment on a GameStop salary, and also, like I said, he's my boyfriend. I'm making carnitas tacos next Friday, and T is coming over, because despite everything, he has nothing else to do on a Friday night. I know that C and T are going to get into a huge fight, and I know that it's probably either going to end with them getting back together out of spite or with someone's vehicle getting keyed--I'm betting on both.

Here's where I think I might be the asshole. I would really like to get inbetween them. Not in a "I don't want you to date each other" kind of way, but in a "holy shit you are both so insufferable i would like to get in on that" kind of way. I currently have my thing with C, and I've hooked up with T once in the past, but I would really like to make it official with him as well.

My plan is as follows: C and T are going to be in the same space again next Friday. They're going to fight, then hook up, then get back together again. C is one of those cybersexual "i built my own computer and run it on Linux" people, which is to say, he thinks tiktok and youtube are evil, and he he thinks spotify premium is supporting megacorporations. So, his sex playlist for T (we do not have our own sex playlist) is just an actual folder of mp3 files.

While C is at work, I'm going to log into his computer and change several of those mp3 files to DJ Crazytimes' Planet of the Bass, which I play often, and he is frequently annoyed by. My hope is that he'll realize it was me, he'll come and yell at me for ruining their hookup, T will take my side to piss him off, and the tension will get to the point where they let me join their hookup, and I can ask to date both of them after that.

To be clear, I recognize that I'm also Incredibly Toxic for enabling and encouraging this behavior. That said, I feel like I'm justified in this scenario considering C and T are both Also toxic, and furthermore, it is a known fact that I'm dating C right now, so for them to hook up, C would technically be cheating on me. I asked C's sister (a childhood friend of mine) for her take on whether it would be funny or just annoying, and she just told me that we all deserve each other, so I think I should be good. Am I being uniquely shitty here?

What are these acronyms?

[yeyinde]

stalker!Simon decides to have a little fun with his favourite camgirl.

the message comes up halfway into your "show."

it's a boring night. slow. you wear a lingerie set one of your viewers sent in beneath a silk robe, all in a pretty pastel pink—cliche, but it works; an uncomfortably disgusting version of hair theory unfolding in front of your eyes—and discreetly chug wine when you twist away to grab a new toy. a series of pale pink vibrators, nipple clamps. mundane depravity for what's shaping up to be a lacklustre night.

but the money that pours in from these little shows (adult version of classic party games—hide and seek, would you rather, truth or dare) is one step closer to erasing your debts. student loans. car payments. rent. you smile so wide it aches, and put your best face on when you blink, coquettish and coy, at the camera where nameless, faceless men throw money in a ring for a scrap of your attention.

tonight's game is Simon Says. and it's supposed to be normal. boring.

but a message from a viewer named Simon (in a sea of many who cheekily changed their usernames to match the theme of the game) stands out.

Simon says... go lock your door.

you blink. between all of the Simon Says touch yourself for me baby, pull your shirt down, lemme fuck you for real it sticks out. a change in the routine.

you huff, pouting. "already did that, Simon. c'mon, gimme something else to do, honey."

another one pops up. Simon says... you shouldda got a dog.

your brows furrow. "that's not part of the game, Simon. i'm gonna move on—"

Simon says... open your door.

he's paying you handsomely. dropping coins, large amounts of money, for each message to shoot to the top. little superchats. why he isn't taking advantage of it and paying you to do something sexy, something lewd, unnerves you. your heart starts to race, thudding against your ribs almost painfully.

it's fine, you think. he's just a creep. a loser. "uh huh, not part of the game, Simon. i'm afraid i'm gonna have to cut you off—"

you block him. they don't normally get under your skin like this. ever. at all. even when they throw random names in your dms, hoping one of them happens to be yours, and try to blackmail you to your fake friends and family. it doesn't bother you as much as this. as him. get a dog. how absurd.

the next series of chats pass without the same odd comments. take your bra off, but leave the robe on. act coy, like you don't want to—

creeps, you think, in their own right. but. paying ones. so, you smile. stiff. uncomfortable. grinning so wide it hurts. pretending to ignore the strange unease growing in your guts. your eyes sliding back to the superchats saved in a glowing log. let me in. a troll. whatever. it's nothing. nothing. you'll drink wine after this, scrub your skin raw in the shower and buy yourself something pretty with the money these greasy losers threw your way—

Simon says... let me in.

you feel your heart in your throat. it can't be him. you blocked him. you have mods to keep trolls out of your chats, but wonder—hopefully—if maybe it failed. maybe they found your stream are just being weird. strange. but when you check, the filters are on. he's a registered user. paid the premium to watch you. to get an invite to your special game nights. it makes it worse, you think, that he paid to be here. to do this.

your hand shakes. you block this user, too, ignoring the discomfort churning inside your chest. the fear spiking along the nape of your neck. hair raising. there's a prickle on your skin. the feeling of being watched

no. it's fine. you're fine—

"ah, what else should i do, Simon?" you ask your viewers, pulling on another smile. one that hurts. aches. wobbles around the edges. you'll end the stream in a few minutes. order Thai food. drink yourself stupid. take the day off tomorrow. use this creeps money and waste it. blow it on something stupid. dumb. laugh about it with your friends.

your shoulders dip. the tension easing. you're fine. you're at home. the door—

you locked it. right? you definitely, absolutely, locked it when you brought in the package from the delivery driver. the massive, hulking man who loomed in your doorway, too wide, even, to fit inside, and growled out in a low, brassy timbre: sign 'ere. you took the pen, pretending he wasn't drilling holes into you with his gaze, eyes liquid in the dark. intense. wanting. and then scurried inside—

back pressed against the door, hands wrapped around the lingerie set.

you glance at the chat. "which Simon bought me this cute set? i'd like to thank them personally," you murmur, forcing your shoulders to drop. it's fine. you live in the middle of nowhere. no one is coming to your door.

there's no takers in the chat. you shift on the chair, licking your lips. "it's really cute, Simon. a perfect size, too, and i just—"

something catches your eye in the corner of the monitor. a movement. a slight shift. a whisper of fabric. you tilt your chin, peering into the hazy black reflection.

what you're looking at doesn't make any sense. your bedroom door is open. a curtain of black drapes over the wall where the pale strip of light doesn't reach.

the washroom light is still on, a yellow spill illuminating the hallway, but nothing is there. no one is in the hall. but you know you closed your door. you always do when you stream. your heart trips over itself. leaps to your throat. you almost choke on it—

another bubble pops up. Simon says... hey. uh, who is that guy behind you?

there's a ringing in your ears. your hair stands on end. something moves again. the black mass wasn't a shadow. it moves. takes shape. the covered head nearly reaches your ceiling, body filling the entirely of your room. massive. a mountain you remember thinking. a fucking mountain, you texted your friend. thighs the size of tree trunks—

a hand reaches out, grabs hold of your power bar. thick gloved fingers curling over the button. in the bluegreen glow of your computer screen, a man steps out.

"glad y'liked it, pet." the deep, brassy drawl sends shivers down your spine. you try to scream, mouth opening wide to choke it out, yell for help—

your chat bubbles up, feverish in their excitement. you skin through the messages, stomaching churning as it clicks in your head. their rabidness isn't about saving you, but—

(omg he's gonna fuck her pron??? we're getting pron????? no fucking wayyyyy god i wish it were me—)

this isn't a fucking bit, you morons, you want to howl. call the fucking police—

but he gets there first. two strides. it happens in a blink. the screen goes back and he's on you in seconds.

you're not even sure how someone so big, so heavy, could move that quietly—

"ah-ah, none o'tha' now," his hand curls around your neck, tight. choking. you try to fight but he just huffs, breathing in deep, chest expanding across your spine as his other hand snakes around your waist, trapping you against a corded forearm. he bends down, nuzzles his jaw into your crown. coos:

"Simon says... turn around for me pretty girl, an' be good, now. went through all this trouble t'find you. think i deserve a little reward—"

[tbaluver]

Hi! I love your work and this is my first time requesting.. so please ignore if not interested! ♡

the roles are reversed and you are their favorite character and the LADS boys are the player! That’s all I hope you have a good day/night!~ 💗

When They're The MC- The Love And DeepSpace Men

parings in order: Xavier x Reader, Zayne x Reader, Rafayel x Reader, Sylus x Reader genre: slight suggestive content below otherwise fluff ! a/n: hihi anonnie ! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ thank you so much for requesting this was such a cute request (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶) i hope this was alright and if it wasn't pretend it doesnt exist ദ്ദി ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ ) otherwise i hope to see you again soon anonnie ! enjoy reading ! (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

Xavier:

Xavier is the type of player to listen to your secret times or tender moments and fall asleep listening to your voice. He likes to imagine you’re right beside him before he falls into his peaceful slumber.

However he does get hard listening to your suggestive audio or scenes that play out.

Spends most of his time grinding out materials for your memories so your character is strong when he reaches end game. Almost has your DeepSpace Trial finished and your affinity level maxed.

Ignores all the calls and text messages of the other main leads except yours.

When he runs out of content for you in the game, he would find solitude on watching edits or reading fanfics of you until the game finally updates its lore for you. Sometimes he'll replay the kindle moments of his favorite cards of you, which is literally all of them.

Zayne:

Nobody expected Zayne to be the type to play this game and at first, neither did he. But he downloaded the game out of curiosity and ended up playing until he reached the end game.

He has your affinity almost maxed out while the rest of the other leads are lower level. He would know all of your lore and has read all of your anecdotes without skipping them for the gems.

Uses the quality time to keep track of his studies but he can’t help but often glance at his screen and find you glancing back at him as well.

He has the Aurum Pass Premium and saves all of his diamonds for your upcoming banners. Does not even bother checking any of the other main leads in the game unless the banner included you

He ONLY plays this game in his room or whenever he's alone. Even though he has his headphones in, he can't help but look around to make sure nobody heard any of your suggestive sounds that sounded like a breathy moan. His ears would turn so red and he can't help but find his hand sliding down his pants

Rafayel:

The type of player that took hours customizing his character to make sure it looks exactly like him. He spends a lot of time with his character and yours in the photo booth. He tries to do a lot of glitches so it looks like you guys are kissing or hugging or him hitting it from the back.

The type that never lets you have a turn at the claw machine. If you managed to have a turn first, he’s IMMEDIATELY requesting to have the next turn. Yes, he thinks your pout is cute whenever you don’t get the plushie but he is NOT wasting any affinity points.

He would use all of his daily emojis just to talk to you and pokes you a lot in the cafe until you get annoyed.

The type to make the most beautiful fanart of you and make the most entertaining edits of you on social media. The type to freak out when he hears your solo banner is coming. He’s literally kicking his feet and rolling around in his bed in excitement

Sylus:

Sylus wasn’t interested in the game at first until your trailer kept popping up and out of curiosity and interest in your character, he decided to try it.

He became the BIGGEST spender when it comes to only your character. He would have all your cards maxed out from the levels and to the protocores. Each card he has of you would be ranked up to level 3 and most of your five stars are awakened. He has all your outfits and all of your poses.

However he would have the biggest frown on his face when he loses his pity the first couple of pulls. That’s not going to stop him until he has all your memories.

He is the type to tease your character by touching you a lot in the cafe to the point you're crossing your arms with a pout and your cheeks are flushed.

Spends a while in the photobooth to stare at your chest or you characters butt. Shamelessly tries to do a couple dirty glitches and the thought of you being real wouldn't leave his mind

Bonus: They all hate Lemonette.

[tsukii0002]

Imagine the contrast of the coexistence between Mc and Solomon, a human who did not know that magic was real until relatively recently and another human who has lived for centuries and who uses magic as if it were breathing.

Imagine that little things at home where Solomon is always willing to use magic to solve it, while Mc always beats him to it in the most common and least magical way possible.

But above all imagine, Solomon's frustration, how can his magic be rendered useless in such a way? And if he has no magic, what can he bring to that home?

Solomon: Remember that blanket I told you had a hole in it, I think it's time to mend it *opening one of his books*

Mc: I've already mended it, with a few stitches it's as good as new.

Solomon: Oh…

Solomon: Mc, what was the table that was broken?

Mc: Oh, don't worry, I fixed it.

Solomon: Really? What spell did you use?

Mc: Ha, ha, Solomon, you don't need magic to wedge a table.

Solomon: Mc!! With this spell we will solve our rat problem!

Mc: *smiling* I've already taken care of that, no for nothing Barbatos is so happy with me.

Solomon: That's how you earn your premium tea leaves?

Solomon: Please tell me you didn't fix the shelf that was sagging *with a book under his arm*

Mc: *eating a muffin* Oops.

Solomon: Mc, I told you I'd fix it *pointing at the. with the book*

Mc: Solomon, it was tightening two screws, it's going to take you longer to look up such a mundane spell than to fix it manually.

.

Solomon: Mc… you're a sorceress, you should use magic more!

Mc: *funny* And you should use magic less!!! You're still a human, old man. By the way, remember those yellow spots on the tablecloth that bothered you so much?

Solomon: Yeah?

Mc: Well, I've already made them disappear and without magic.

Solomon: How????

Solomon is sitting, somewhat annoyed, on one of the balconies

Mc: Hey…

Solomon: …

Mc: Are you upset?

Solomon: … No.

Mc: *sighing as they stands next to him* Let's talk, tell me, why does it bother you so much that I solve things without magic?

Solomon: I'm not upset, we don't need to talk at all.

Mc: You know that communication is part of living together right? We are two people with different ways of living, if we don't talk how are we going to have a good cohabitation?

Solomon: … With the brothers you never had that problem.

Mc: Sure I have, maybe not with these things because Lucifer encourages certain stuff to be done manually, but we had to set a lot of guidelines when I started living with them.

Solomon: ...

Solomon: *sighing* I'm not upset… it's just that I'm used to doing everything with magic, even the smallest things, it's easier, faster.

Mc: Well, sometimes yes, but sometimes it's easier to do it without magic, and in my case I'm used to not use magic.

Solomon: *looking at them* I know, but there are things I can't do without magic.

Mc: But that's what I'm for, isn't it?

Solomon: *doubting* Then' what do I bring to our cohabitation?

Mc: *realizing*

Solomon: You cook, you do a lot of chores because you are faster, and you take care of a lot of things that allow you to have a routine… I feel that instead of living together, I am a guest...

Mc: Solomon...

Solomon: And if I can't even use my magic, Am I useless? without my magic I…

The two are silent for a moment

Mc: I'm sorry, I've minimized how you feel… and I've done things my way without taking you into account.

Solomon: Ha, ha, don't worry, *now kind of sad* It's not that big of a deal.

Mc: No, I told you, communication is part of living together and you should tell me what bothers you.

Solomon: *looking at them*

Mc: We can try to find a middle ground.

Solomon: How?

Mc: *thoughtful* Well, the day to day things we can do manually and the things that are very difficult or tedious we can use magic?

Solomon: *considering it seriously'* You could also teach me how to do tasks without magic, like how to wedge a table… and I could teach you spells that I usually use, like the one that sweeps the house by itself.

Mc: *smiling* We can also make a schedule so we don't step on each other's to-dos.

Solomon: *smiling too* And create a chat room exclusively for house stuff where we can let each other know if we're going to do something.

Mc: That sounds like a great idea Solomon.

Solomon: *more lively* And I'd also like to do certain chores together, like laundry or cooking.

Mc: … *feeling bad at Solomon's happy face* Yes… we can do that too.

.

.

This turned out to be longer than I thought, and what started as something funny has turned into a drama😅. I'm not going to lie to you, I love domestic dramas, day to day problems… so this post has turned into that because Solomon is used to live in a very different way than Mc, and living together for the first time is always complicated and habits are hard to change, and co-living is not always so great. Give me domestic situations between Mc and the rest of the cast please!!!! 🥺🥺

Anyway, if you've made it this far, thank you very much for reading🩷

.

.

[yanderefarm]

slasher!reader x fanboy!yandere

cw;; gore, blood, cannibalism, murder, animal violence mentioned

can u tell i love slashers... i wanna be a hot slasher monster thats the gender goal.

you're a local legend in the area, a modern myth to scare people away from the old slaughter house. most people don't actually believe you exist but there isn't an insignificant amount of people who never make it back from that "haunted" location.

you're no ghost, no you're very real. you live in the slaughter house where you do your "work". you actually ship out a decent amount of actual meat but only to specific customers who don't ask questions. some of them buy your premium meats but mostly you're just butchering cows and pigs. it's tedious work, nothing is as satisfying as cutting into a screaming crying human body.

you're so excited when another group of young adults come to visit. they're doing a test of courage. you're gonna make them really prove themselves tonight. there's only about 6 of them and from that you can only see 3 who's meat will actually sell. you silently plan to keep two as livestock to plump up and leave the 6th to go back and spread your myth farther.

it's a long night. humans don't like dying, they fight and scratch every step of the process. you've gotten two of the ones with the best meat and you've put them in your meat locker. one of the worthless ones is bleeding out with your hand in their hair. the remaining meats have given you a pretty nasty wound in your side and the pain is pissing you off. you don't even get to throw this worthless meat in the freezer before it's dead. annoying. you let go of its hair, your foot crushing it's arm as you drag yourself further.

you smell gasoline when your body finally gives against one of the walls. you can guess that those stupid meat bags are going to set fire to all your hard work. if only they hadn't gotten the drop on you. you hold your hand over the cut as you accept your fiery fate. but it doesn't come.

you hear footsteps, timid footsteps. you lull your head in the direction of them and you see the last premium meat standing there in front of you.

"...you... you're hurt." he drops next to you and tepidly reaches his hand towards your wound. you remove your hand letting it fall limp next to you. he immediately pulls out a small sewing kit.

"this is going to be uncomfortable but please bear with it." he threaded a needle and began the painful process of sewing up the gash.

you watched his hands move in silence, only flinching a few times from the pain. the boy in front of you had his brows furrowed and his tongue slightly out as he focused intensely on patching you up. it was so curious you couldn't stop staring at him. he tied it off and cut the excess string.

"i should kill you now." you picked your weapon off the ground next to you. the meat swallowed hard.

"if.. if you want... but can I make a request?" his face was red.

"i don't usually take requests.. but i suppose since you helped me out."

he swallowed again before looking up into your eyes. "i.. i don't want you to sell me. please eat me yourself!"

[kaciidubs]

Catnip and Kidnappings

Hi, 🧿 nonnie! This one's been a long time coming, and though it doesn't have much smut, I hope you still enjoy it! ❣ Summary: You just needed to go to the pet store for two things - so why were you suddenly in a car with a man you didn't know? ❣  ❣ Word Count: 2.5k+ ❣ Warnings: Mafia! AU, fluff, meet cute, implied danger, slight humor, cat talk, reader is a bit sassy but so is Minho ❣  ❣ Female! Reader [No use of Y/N] | You/Your pronouns ❣  ❣ Additional Tags: lightly edited ❣ Stray Kids Masterlist ❣ General Masterlist

Two things. You just needed two things from the pet store, then you would be back home with your lovely tabby cat and show you’d been putting off for the better half of two weeks because it just ‘wasn’t the right time’.

So how, you ask, did you manage to find yourself hurriedly escorted away from the storefront of the pet store by a man you’d just met?

Well, you could target the beginning of the end the moment you stepped foot into the pet store, making your way to the cat aisle on instinct with your goal clear in your mind; catnip and premium cat food.

Premium cat food - you wished you could trick your furry child into eating a cheaper form of food, but his picky eater tendencies had set him in his ways ever since your mother decided to spoil him and introduce him to the world of Sheba pate and cuts of various meat and fish flavors; the same woman who claimed she didn’t like cats, yet bought him almost all of his toys.

Huffing out a quiet laugh at her change of heart, you bent to grab a box of the food packs, silently thanking the corporate gods that it was still on sale, before heading deeper into the aisle to grab the second item on your mental list.

You scanned the rack with the box still in your arms, adjusting it slightly every now and then until your eyes landed on the empty spot that usually had the brand of catnip you needed.

“Wonderful…”

“If you’re looking for catnip like that brand, you could go with the one with the red label - they look different because of the companies, but they’re really the same ingredient wise.”

“Oh, really? Thank-” The next word immediately died on your tongue as you turned your head, ready to thank a store worker but, instead, you were met with possibly the handsomest man you’d ever laid your eyes on.

Sharp eyes and a nose that looked like it belonged on a marble sculpture, paired with lips set in a faint frown and the prettiest jawline you’ve ever seen - he was gorgeous.

He seemed to either not notice your brain freeze or blissfully ignore it as he stepped closer to pick up the container before placing it on top of the cat food box in your arms.

“I have three cats and they all like both brands, there isn’t really a difference besides the fact that you don’t have to use as much of this one as the other one, which makes it better considering the price.”

Once his eyes finally met yours, you felt your brain kick back into gear, “O-Oh, okay, thank you so much!”

He hummed out a small sound of acknowledgement, giving you a curt nod and reaching forward to grab a container of his own; his eyes scanning across the small printed words for a moment before he looked to you once more. “Do you need help? Carrying that, I mean.”

“This? No, no, I’ve got it handled.” You adjusted the box once more, the catnip container sliding to the right until you balanced it out quickly, “All good, thanks again, though.”

Before you could embarrass yourself more than you already had, you thanked him once more and shuffled past him and out of the small aisle in record time, mentally cursing whatever line of fate led you down this path.

Placing your items on the conveyor belt, the cashier greeted you as they scanned your items and you typed in your rewards card onto the card reader’s keypad.

“Are you getting this, too?”

“What?” Looking up, you stared at the catnip in their hand with confusion creasing your brow.

“Um-”

“Yes, we are.”

The familiar voice made a chill run down your spine, your head whipping to see the same man from before, the faintest of curves to his otherwise neutral expression alleviating his otherwise stoic demeanor.

Shrugging lightly, the cashier proceeded to scan the second container before announcing the total.

Pressing his black card to the one-tap reader, he seamlessly slid it back into his wallet before stuffing it back into his pocket, “Think of it as a little gift for your cat, they deserve to be treated.”

For being stunned for the second time that day, your recovery was just as fast, “I’ll make sure to let him know a kind stranger cares about his picky habits.”

He huffed out a quiet chuckle, but that was more than enough to inflate your ego and make your heart flutter, quickly taking back your previous curse to thank fate instead.

After grabbing your bag of items, you made your way out of the store with your new companion following suit.

“So… Was that really just a gift for my cat? You don’t have any ulterior motives, do you?” You mused, turning to look at him fully as you stood outside of the storefront.

Shaking his head, he raised his hands in defense, “It’s just a gift - like I said, I have three cats so I know how it can get, better than most. Besides, the picky eater phase is really rough on the pockets at the worst of times.”

“Well, Miso appreciates your generosity.”

“Miso… cute.” He hummed softly, though his true excitement was evident in the small glimmer in his eyes.

“Do I have the honor of knowing your name?” Clocking the possible unintended implication of the question, you quickly backtracked, “Um- Just so Miso knows who he can thank while eating his pate salmon, of course.”

His lips parted to speak but closed twice as fast, his once relaxed smile turning into a firm line as he looked at you - almost enough to look through you, or rather, past you.

As you went to turn your head to gauge for yourself, you were stopped by the warmth of his hand around your wrist, winning your attention for himself like jingling keys in front of a baby.

“Let me bring you home, and I’ll tell you on the way.”

You felt your heart flutter, though you couldn’t ignore the unease creeping up your spine, “I appreciate it, but you really don’t have to-”

“I just want to make sure you make it home safely.” His mouth pressed into a tight lipped smile and his grip tightened ever so slightly, “Trust me.”

Maybe it was the fact that he sounded so sincere, aligning with the image of the kind man you’d seen in the pet shop, or perhaps it was the way his firm gaze flickered with a hint of urgency, but you found yourself nodding softly.

“Okay.”

With that, you were tugged down the sidewalk and around the corner, hurried footsteps falling alongside his long strides in hopes of keeping up.

“Is- Is there something wrong? What’s happening?”

“Everything’s fine.”

You bristled at his nonchalant, clipped tone, falling back on your pace by half a step. “I have a feeling you weren’t lying to me before, so, please, don’t start lying to me now.”

Feeling your resistance, he took a short breath and spoke, “Nothing’s wrong yet, and nothing is happening - I’d rather keep it that way, if you don’t mind.”

“But what did you see?”

“Someone who has no business trying to approach me in public unless they’re looking to start something they have no chance of finishing. I have no desire in getting innocent people caught up in those types of affairs.”

“Those types?” Your eyes widened as you neared a black car - slim, sleek, and a model that you had no chance of owning for yourself on your current pay grade. “Are you-”

“I’m no one.” He shut you down with ease before reaching forward to open the passenger’s side door, “Get in.”

Putting a temporary pin in your conversation, you quickly slid into the car, the faint scent of jasmine mixing with the musk of sandalwood and leather seats filling your nose; watching through the windshield as the black haired man rounded the car before sliding into the driver's seat.

“I don’t think a nobody just casually owns a car like this,” clicking your seatbelt into place and setting your bag on the floor, you shot him a wary glance, “if you’re going to kidnap me, Miso’s going to be royally pissed.”

The car’s engine roared to life, masking his light chuckle but doing next to nothing in hiding the slight uptick of his lips. “I’m not a kidnapper, though I’ll make an exception if Miso’s as cute as you make him out to be.”

With that, he shifted the gear and drove out of the parking lot, using the one-way street to get away from the pet store and the unknown assailant. Buildings and cars passed by in a blur after you told him your address, your hands nonchalantly turning your phone while the silence was placated with the sound of the engine and the radio - though, you had no hope of hearing what the song was from how low the volume was.

Taking a deep breath, you turned toward him, eyes tracing over his unfairly handsome side profile. “So… Is this the part where you tell me who you are?”

“I told you, I’m no one,” he hummed simply, eyes trained on the road ahead.

“And I told you I don’t like liars - you still owe me your name, you remember that, right? Now, since you’re saving me from some unknown evil, you owe me a full introduction.”

He glanced over at you, amused astonishment filling his face, “For someone who’s in the hands of a complete stranger, you make a lot of demands.”

“Think of it as your atonement for giving me two new life experiences in one when I was minding my own business buying catnip.”

You could just barely catch him rolling his eyes, muttering under his breath and hearing the words ‘worse’ and ‘friends’.

“Minho.”

“Minho?”

Minho rocked his head to the side, huffing, “My name is Lee Minho, I have three cats - Soonie, Doongie, and Dori - and I’m a businessman. I like going to that pet store because they donate some of their profit to shelters, and I know about the catnip brands because I have three cats - changing brands is a nightmare whether it’s one cat or several.”

A small smile found its way to your lips at the new information, your mind running wild at the image of this enigma of a man playing with three cats of his own. “Okay… But, when you say businessman, what type of business do you do?”

“The type that prefers to go unmentioned to civilians for their safety.”

“What- Like working for some secret branch of the government? Are you a cult leader? A member of the mafia?” An incredulous giggle bubbled past your lips, though when his demeanor grew colder, your stomach dropped. “You’re… You’re not, right?”

“What’s your name?”

“What?”

The car rolled to a stop at a red light, granting him the grace to look at you, brown eyes locking to yours with a firm stare. “You never told me your name. If you tell me your name, I’ll tell you my job - it’s your repentance for asking me more questions past my introduction. If you don’t want to tell me, then don’t, but I won’t tell you my job.”

Your name for his profession, your safety in exchange for his safety - it was only fair, truly.

Taking a deep breath, your name fell from your lips with a small air of confidence, “You already know about my cat, and my job pays just enough to support his picky eating habits. I like that pet store because they hosted an adoption event that brought Miso into my life, and I’ve been supporting them ever since.”

He made a sound of confirmation before turning his attention back to the road, pressing the gas as the light turned green and continued the journey to your apartment.

His choice of silence was almost enough to have your conscience second guessing your decision, until you noted the way his fingers drummed against the steering wheel; twitching, anxious, compared to the streamlined, firm grip he’d showcased at the beginning of the drive.

Eventually your apartment building came into view, the car slowing to a stop once he reached the front door.

“Well…” Lingering for a moment longer, you looked at him in hopes of seeing him turn to you one final time to honor his end of the agreement, but when he remained staring at the road ahead, you let it go. “I guess this is goodbye - thank you for what you’ve done for me, Lee Minho, I appreciate it.”

As you went to unbuckle your seatbelt, his hand wrapped around your wrist, his touch sending a chill down your spine and stealing your attention just like he did outside of the pet shop.

“I’m part of the mafia,” Minho spoke plainly, his tone emotionless, statement oriented, “the person I saw earlier was someone we’ve done business with before, some low life’s henchman most likely sent to get even, that’s why I wanted to get away like I did. I didn’t want our chance encounter to end with you getting hurt - you did nothing wrong, and I wanted to make sure you would be safe.”

The mafia… You weren’t sure if him being a cult leader would’ve been better or worse than this, but staring into his eyes, you could feel it wasn’t a joke, nor an elaborate cover up.

“What I said before, about not mentioning what I do for the safety of others… I swear to you that you’ll be safe after this - I’ll make it my personal job of making sure nothing happens to you because of this, okay? No lingering ties or deals to be made, you’ll be under our watch until we take care of that stunt they tried to pull.”

His promise eased the first stretch of fear growing within you, though the rest would have to be handled once you had the proper time to process your less than normal morning.

Nodding, you slipped your wrist from his grasp and grabbed your bag, turning to get out of the car until you froze.

“If you’re worried, you don’t have to-”

You leaned across the center console and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, a sign of gratitude, “Thank you, Minho.”

Reaching into your bag, you placed his container of catnip in his hand then quickly left the car - making your way up the flight of stairs to the lobby’s doors,only to turn around to see him patiently waiting for your entrance before slipping your way past the glass doors.

On the elevator ride up to your apartment, you couldn’t help it as your thoughts ran through the events like a film reel, though you weren’t sure if it was to get over the shock of reality, or to commit the image of that man to your memory.

Lee Minho, cat owner and catnip expert.

Lee Minho, morally gray mafia member.

Lee Minho, a man you hoped you would see in the pet store again.

✧. ┊Tagged lovelies: Tagged lovelies will now be done within the comments of the post due to Tumblr's tagging system being broken, thank you for understanding.

@luminouskalopsia, @zaethefangirl, @chxnb97, @sometimesleeknows, @hyunjinloverrrr, @rhonnie23, @channieswife, @beautyinhypnosis

✧. ┊If your username is in bold italics that means tumblr won't let me tag you. If you’d like to be added to the taglist, fill out this form!

[formulawolff]

x. bringing the heat in miami - t.w.

pairing: female driver! x toto wolff

word count: 3.6k

warnings: cursing, mentions of sex, mentions of masturbation, lewd humor, age gap relationship, ANGST, naughty text messages, banter, light flirting, toto being down astronomically bad (like actually in the trenches) yadayadayada

prev. | next.

party in the city where the heat is on 

all night, on the beach till the break of dawn

“welcome to miami”

“bienvenidos a miami"

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

will smith’s infamous track fills your ears as you stroll in through the main gate of the track, fans clustered in thick waves. your name is called more times than you can count. posters, caps, shirts, you name it, wave about, begging to be signed. 

the sun shines overhead, casting bright, fiery light all around. although it was only around eight in the morning, humidity clung to the air, creating a sticky, dewy sensation on your exposed skin. fluffy clouds drift along, carried by a breeze as it rolls through. 

god, the weather was perfect.

hopefully it would be like this on race day.

“welcome to miamiiii,” alex bobs his head, singing along to the music, “are you excited? it is your home turf, after all.”

“if we were in phoenix, i think i would feel a little closer to home,” you suppress a giggle, “but yes, i am really fucking excited. everyone loves a race in their home country.”

“we’ll be in austin soon enough in october,,” alex shrugs, “when we’re in austin, i need you to show me how to ride a bull and teach me how to perfect that smooth texas drawl. i want to be like one of those little aunties who always say, ‘y’all come back now!’ like dolly parton! ” 

“you’re ridiculous,” the giggles blossom into a full-on laugh, “you don’t just start speaking with a southern accent. that’s not how that works.”

“sure it is,” alex nods, “hey, your parents are coming out for the race, right?”

“yes sir! they will finally get to see their baby girl in action!”

“they didn’t come out for a single grand prix last year?” alex raises a brow.

“i wasn’t winning races last year,” you counter, “i told them not to worry about spending that money during my rookie year. not everyone’s parents are loaded, you know.”

which, was a true statement. 

your parents had invested their time, hard-earned cash, weekends off, and a portion of their lives to get you here. you didn’t expect them to fly out for every single grand prix, make every event, or pay another dime towards your expenses. 

unlike many of the drivers, you were not born into an extremely lavish lifestyle. your parents were modest people, who happened to have a child later in life. ever since you were born, they lived in the same house, drove the same vehicles, and got by adequately. since they both worked full-time, getting you into the racing world was no simple feat. 

yet, they were determined to make your dreams become a reality. after years of careful coordination to the karting tracks, weekends devoted to races, and thousands upon thousands of dollars spent, you were offered a contract with williams racing. of course, you accepted that offer graciously. 

now, you were steadily paying your parents back for their dedication. once you signed your contract and those zeroes hit your bank account, you went out to the nearest dealership, purchasing a suburu wrx. with the premium package, at that. 

you would never forget your dad’s face the moment you pulled into the driveway, beaming as you placed the keys in his hand. 

that was one of the only moments you had ever watched him cry, wrapping you up in a tight, loving embrace.

“you didn’t have to do this. being your father is a gift in itself.”

“but you deserve it. you’ve sacrificed so much so that i could be in this position.”

“and you deserve nothing but the best, baby girl. you are going to be one of the greatest drivers formula one has ever seen. you make us so proud. keep making us proud. keep defying those odds. keep making history, baby girl.”

keep making history, baby girl.

as you stroll into the paddock, greeting the engineers, pit crew, and other team members, you can’t shake that feeling brewing deep within. 

it’s is a fiery desire, setting you ablaze with determination. 

you were going to keep making history. 

you were going to be the first american to win the miami grand prix. 

you were going to be the first woman to win two consecutive grand prixes. 

you were going to be the first woman to earn that title of world champion. 

you were going to chase that high. by any means possible. 

and nothing was going to stop you now. 

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

“look at him,” lewis hamilton shakes his head, “he looks absolutely pitiful.”

“you think his little relationship is on the rocks?” 

“quite the contrary mate,” lewis remarks, folding his arms across his chest, “i think it’s more like the poor man is depraved. obviously the euphoria has worn off. he’s come down from that high. the man is craving more. plain and simple. a hand can only do–”

“i don’t need the mental image of my team principal wanking off,” george russell scoffs, rubbing his temple, “fuck, that is disgusting, lewis.”

toto wolff stood a few meters away from the drivers, engaged in deep conversation with bono and members of the crew. now that lewis knew the truth, he couldn’t help but notice how much power that american girl held over the team principal. it was almost as if he were deep in a trance, under some sort of spell. 

it was pitiful, really. just the sight of her was enough to send the team principal spiraling, intoxicated off her alluring aura. not like lewis could blame toto, though. there was no denying that the woman was extremely breathtaking. 

with her stunning features, witty mouth, unapologetic personality, and angelic presence, she was practically miss america.

well, not practically. 

she was miss america.  

everyone adored her. lewis could barely go throughout his morning without hearing her name being mentioned. whether it was fans, journalists, social media, even members of the mercedes crew, she was the hot topic of formula one, taking the world by storm.

toto was a lucky man. an extremely lucky man. 

if only she was into men her age. 

“my apologies mate,” lewis nudges george with his elbow playfully, “did we have anything going on today? any obligations?”

george’s brow furrow, sunglasses perched on the bridge of his nose, “if we’re being honest, i can’t really remember. i think something to do with monster energy, maybe.”

“perfect,” lewis licks his lower lip, fishing his phone out of his pocket. 

time to text that little assistant. 

in all seriousness, he felt horrible for taking advantage of that young girl. she was only nineteen for fuck’s sakes, a fresh face to mercedes at the start of the 2024 season. that made her the perfect target to do his bidding. 

well, it wasn’t really bidding. 

more like investigative journalism. 

at least, that’s what lewis told himself to feel a little less guilty for what he was about to do. 

hey, do you by chance know toto’s schedule today?

seconds later, little text bubbles appear. 

he was meeting with you guys this morning, then he has an interview with the press around two-thirty p.m. it’s nothing super serious, just a brief session entailing his thoughts for the weekend. at four, he has a zoom call with a few of the mercedes execs. after that, he told me he was going to be out for the remainder of the evening. why? 

hmmm. how convenient. 

i was just curious. thanks for letting me know! i appreciate you, natila. 

of course, mr. hamilton! let me know if you need anything else! :))) 

it was now or never. go time.

after the meeting with the mercedes executives, lewis hamilton was going to knock on toto wolff’s door. he was going to stroll into that office, settling into one of those plush leather chairs. and before toto had the opportunity to speak, lewis was going to confront him about that american girl. 

how he was going to start that conversation, he had no idea. that would come to him in time as he went about his day, meeting with sponsors, flashing that lovely lewis smile, flirting with the reporters just a little. not too much so that it was obvious, but enough to make them blush a tad, giggling as they scrambled to stick to their script. 

but for now, it was time to focus on the matters at hand. 

across the track, a dutch driver strolls through the crowds, a jersey in one hand, phone in the other. glancing down at his screen, he curses under his breath at the throng of people. why were there so many people? where did they all come from? 

pausing for a moment, he taps his screen, thumb gliding through his contacts. 

“hey, where are you again?”

“we’re in the williams paddock!” her voice is an octave higher than usual, more than likely from anticipation, “we’ll see you soon!”

“sounds good,” max verstappen stifles a chuckle as he hears a voice on the other end, the words firm, demanding almost.  

“honey, who are you talking to? who’s coming over here?” 

“mom, please, just let me be on the phone for two seconds,” she exhales, “okay, i have to go. i’ll see you soon!” 

the walk to the williams paddock was excruciating, as max had to bob and weave through the masses to avoid reporters, potential sponsors, and any individual who called his name. it’s not like he didn’t like the fame that came with his success, it’s just that he didn’t like the constant cameras in his face. the prying questions. the intrusive comments. 

sometimes he wished he could just blend in, be like any other face in the crowd. yet, how could he when he was max verstappen? 

yet, as he steps into the paddock, he makes out the williams driver, her parents hovering around her as she introduces them to various members of the crew. at the sight, max can’t help but feel the corners of his lips curl into a smile as he notices the sheer and utter pride plastered across their faces. 

and they had every right to be proud of you. 

you earned it. 

“goedemorgen,” max clears his throat, raising his hand for a small wave, “i just came to stop by.”

the instant your mom realizes who is standing before her in the paddock, her eyes widen, lips parting, “oh my gosh – honey. look who it is!” 

“good morning max,” your laughter rings like bells as you cross over to the dutch driver, “how are you?”

“pretty good,” he nods, sticking out his right hand, “hallo, i’m max.”

your dad shakes his hand, squeezing it firmly, “nice to meet ya, max. i’m tony. this is my wife, heather.”

“pleased to meet you,” max beams, turning to your mom, “i brought something for you today. your daughter mentioned that you were a big fan of mine. so, i brought this jersey for you. she let me know your shirt size, so it should fit perfectly. my signature is on there somewhere, but i just can’t quite remember where.”

graciously, heather accepts the jersey, her eyes glossy, shifting to you as she wipes a tear, “oh, honey, you planned this?”

“of course i did,” wrapping an arm around her shoulders, you pull her in for a hug, “i couldn’t bear the thought of you guys attending the race without meeting any of my friends. besides, you deserve an all-inclusive experience at your first grand prix.”

“besides,” max shoots you a wink, “i wanted to meet the woman who crafted such a talented driver.”

at max’s compliment, your mom’s face flushes, “oh please! i can barely make it on the freeway without having a nervous breakdown. i don’t know how she can drive these things. it amazes me how confident she is and–.”

“i could show you,” max offers, “i have some free time tomorrow. i’m sure we could all meet up somewhere and i could take you for a spin, show you the ropes. how does that sound?”

“oh max,” your mom waves a hand, “you do not–”

“but i want to. it’s no issue. no issue at all.” 

“then it’s a plan,” you can’t help but grin as your moms’ eyes light up, “what time works for you, max? since it’s only thursday, we’ll have some time in the morning before the practice laps. or, we could go after. whatever works for you.”

“let’s go in the morning,” max suggests, checking his phone, “i think i can make a few calls. have someone bring in a car. we’ll take it out on the track.”

“is that allowed?” your mom arches a brow, “i just don’t want you two to get in any sort of trouble. 

“oh mom,” you roll your eyes playfully, gesturing to max, “that is max verstappen. whatever max verstappen wants, max verstappen gets.”

“she’s not wrong.”

“okay fine,” your mom nods, and you feel a giggle forming at her overprotective nature. 

“just don’t give me a heart attack out there, max. i have a very important race to watch on sunday.”

as your parents talk to max, alex making his way into the conversation, you feel the buzz of your phone in your pocket. carefully, you fish it out, ensuring to shield your screen from your mom’s wandering gaze. 

this is unbearable. i need to see you tonight. are you going to have any free time? i vaguely recall you mentioning that your parents were going to be here. i will take no offense if you would like to spend time with them. i know you do not get to see them often. 

i need to be inside you, schatzi. i can’t think straight right now because the only thing i can think about is fucking that perfect pussy of yours. 

i miss my golden girl. more than anything. 

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

“lewis? this is a pleasant surprise.”

“how’s it going mate?” lewis hamilton bears a quaint smile as he settles into a chair, face-to-face with the team principal, “things going well?”

“eh,” toto shrugs, his head bowed as he types away on his phone, “same old shit, you know.” 

“things going well with the horseback rider?”

oh, so he wasn’t going to drop it. silently, toto curses the attentive nature of his british driver, “they’re fine.”

“so,” lewis leans back, folding his arms across his chest, “when were you going to fess up and admit that your little girlfriend doesn’t ride horses?”

“i don’t understand what you–”

lewis scoffs, clicking his tongue, “i know exactly who your little girlfriend is because she’s a few spaces ahead of me on the grid.”

shit.

the expression painting lewis’ features is brimmed with satisfaction, his gaze piercing right through the team principal as he shifts uneasily in his desk chair, running a hand through his hair. 

toto was well aware that lewis had completely blindsided him, pinning him in a corner. it was quite literally perfect timing, as the team principal was merely minutes away from organizing his things, shutting down his computer, and heading out the door, well on his way to his golden girl. 

well played, lewis. well played. 

yet, he had to maintain his composure. he had to maintain that poker face as lewis cocks his head, prompting him to formulate some sort of witty retort. 

“i’m not sure what you’re talking about.”

“bullshit,” lewis shakes his head, “you’re not a very good liar, toto. you of all people should know that i can read you like a bloody book. how long has this been going on?”

well, he had to fess up now. lewis would continue to call him out on his shit if he kept up with the lies. letting out a shaky breath, the team principal hangs his head in defeat, his heart thumping against his rib-cage, wiping his damp palms on his slacks.

no going back now. time to come clean. 

“since she won in jeddah. but if we’re being technical, it started in bahrain.”

“wait,” lewis sticks his hands up, squeezing his eyes shut, “pause. this has been going on since the start of the season? for weeks you’ve been sneaking around, meeting up with her in secret or something? was she the one who came to brackley between melbourne and suzuka?”

with all of the questions pouring from lewis’ mouth, toto’s mind reeled, a swirling torrent of anxiety, fear, and disappointment. his cheeks burn with shame, tinged pink. 

“yes, she was.”

tilting his head, lewis’ lips purse, “you like her?”

“well isn’t that blatantly fucking obvious,” propping his elbows on the desk, he massages his temples with his fingers, “how did you find out?”

“it wasn’t hard,” lewis shrugs, “i mean, i see the way you look at her.” 

toto’s eyes narrow at lewis’ vague response, “how. did. you. find. out?”

“natila texted me about it,” lewis coughs, averting the team principal’s beady stare, “she may have heard a conversation or two.” 

“regarding?” toto presses, satisfaction pumping in his veins as lewis starts to crack, shifting in the chair, “come on, lewis. you can’t just march in here and demand answers from me without sharing your sources. what did natila hear?”

“she heard the entire conversation you had with the drive to survive crew while we were in suzuka. they mentioned that they had footage of you walking over to her motorhome. that’s all natila heard. don’t fire the poor girl,” the words were rushed, breathy, “it was my fault. i asked her what she heard. i told her i would pay her if she told me what she knew.”

“well,” toto blinks, swallowing thickly, “did you end up paying her?”

“only like five thousand.”

“that’s quite a large sum over something you could have just asked me about personally,” clasping his hands together, toto raises a brow, “why didn’t you just come to me instead?”

“because you got so fucking defensive the first time i asked about it!” 

lewis did have a point. 

a good point, at that.

it was not like the team principal would have withheld information regarding his developing relationship with the williams driver. it was more like he feared what would ensue if he did share what had transpired. he trusted lewis, he really did. additionally, it wasn’t like this was just some average woman. his career, her future, and so much more were at stake. the benefits of keeping it all under wraps greatly outweighed the risk of discovery. 

more importantly, he was protective of his golden girl. 

she was his little escape from it all. a breath of fresh air after excruciatingly long nights in the paddock or disappointing days on the track. she was his sun, shining her vivid, warm, golden rays into his dreary and dull life. 

sure, toto was a billionaire. but money was not everything. 

nearly every day, toto’s mind wandered to their time spent together in brackley. the way she felt against his skin. the way her shy smile was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. the way her fingers felt intertwined with his. the way her lashes fluttered as she slept, lips parted ever so slightly. the way his hands roamed her curves, relishing the softness of her. 

that memory alone was worth far more than the number of zeroes in his bank account. 

“you’re falling in love, aren’t you?”

lewis’ voice is low, dangerously quiet. yet, there’s a curious glint in his eyes, the bitterness and anger no longer present. his body language is more relaxed, legs crossed, the driver fiddling with his thumbs. 

“i –” toto stutters, scrambling to find the right words, “yes, i am.”

“does she know?” 

“no,” he inhales sharply, “she doesn’t.”

“you want to tell her though, don’t you?”

“it would just feel rushed,” the team principal dismisses lewis’ inquiry, his voice hardening, “i have to be realistic here. no one falls in love that quickly. that’s just petulant.”

“well look at it this way,” lewis offers, “if you’ve had your eye on her for some time, then it’s really not that rushed. clearly, if you’re feeling those emotions so deeply, then it’s accumulated over time. i don’t want to pry, but how long have you been attracted to her?”

“you don’t want to know,” a chuckle rumbles in the team principal’s chest, “it’s embarrassing, really.”

“no, no, no,” lewis tuts, “tell me, toto. how long?”

“december 2022, when she signed her contract with williams. when i saw that photo of her, i knew i had to have her. last summer, in monaco, i may have slipped up and approached her at the afterparty. i flirted with her, but she dismissed me. so, i kept my distance. however, it was just growing harder and harder to stay away. it was impulsive, that night in bahrain. but i wanted to make a move before anyone else got to her.”

as toto finishes, he can’t help but notice lewis’ smirk, “holy shit, toto. you’ve been wrapped around her finger for quite some time then, yeah?”

“i wouldn’t say that–” toto begins, clicking his tongue, yet, he’s swiftly cut off as a new figure cracks open the door. 

george russell leans against the doorframe, arms folded across his chest. his lips are pressed together, forming a tightly wound frown. 

“way to include me in the gossip session, guys. what did i miss? clearly, quite a lot. if you don’t mind, i would like to join the conversation. toto, would you start from the top? even though i’ve already heard most of it, when were you going to bring it to my attention that you were fucking that bloody williams driver?”

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

taglist: @younxii @toldyouitwasamelodrama @kravitzwhore @persona1lies @pucksandpower @k3ira13 @prettiest-at-the-party @martwll @annewithaneofthegreengable @zoeyjadetice2010  @sinners-98-world @laura-naruto-fan1998 @nebarious @joalslibrary @swifth0lic

as always, if i forgot to include you, please let me know! thank you all for the continuous support! i love y'all sm!! <33

[cheriladycl01]

Love your Fernando's fic about Finland Freeze. Could you do it but with Toto Wolff. Just them spending time together with their son, Jack with a hint of surprise at the end. Thanks!! :)))

Bahama Breeze - Toto Wolff x Wife Reader + Son

Plot: You go to the Bahamas during the winter break with Toto and your son and truly experience that VIP life.

Credit to onboardcamera for the GIF

"Come on. It's our beach day today. Our munchkin is desperate to make sandcastles for his Queen" your husband Toto laughed from the edge of the bed he was leaning on. It was a nice fancy hotel bed that had those crisp white sheets.

You look up at him with your small sleepy eyes, the morning light coming in through the balcony window that was no longer covered by the large curtains, from up here you had an amazing view of the white sandy beach and the crystal clear waters.

There was multiple sounds coming in through the doors, the waves softly crashing, the birds flying around and the sounds of people darting their day down on the beach.

"Come on, get dressed into something for the beach! We'll meet you downstairs for breakfast." he smiles down at you before climbing off the bed, taking your son who was playing by the door with his bucket and spade. You take a few more seconds before starting to fully wake yourself up and get into a bikini and kaftan so you wouldn't burn when walking along the beach.

You brush you teeth and make sure your all clean before heading down to find your family, Toto said they'd meet you in the restaurant where there was a buffet style breakfast, where you both had gained weight at the promise of it being unlimited, but you were on holidays so you didn't care.

Breakfast was pretty quiet where it was later on in the morning and it wasn't too hard to find Toto and his loud voice.

A dad laugh. It rung through the restaurant like a chorus of bells. Nobody could miss it, it was like a load of plates falling where everyone turns to look at where they'd fallen from, but they were now looking at your husband and son.

You all happily ate breakfast together filling your hearts content before heading out and finding sunbeds down by the pool and beach.

As VIP of the hotel, you had premium beds that were right by the pool.

Eventually it was decided you’d go to the beach to try some of the water sports. You set up camp, laying on a towel on your front tanning the back half of your body. Your son obsessed with the sand and the way it felt so while you napped in the sun, he and Toto made sandcastles, Toto running back and forth with see water to help mould the sand better.

Eventually they both ended up just digging a really big hole. All through it you managed to bask in the rays of light shining down on you.

All of a sudden you heard little screams, in your haze of sleepiness you couldn’t tell if they were off distress.

You got up quickly rubbing the sand away from your hands as you looked around. Only to find Toto and your son, him yelling in delight as he stared to bury Toto in the sand pit they created.

As you neared them, your son opened his arms wide asking for a hug and to be lifted up. You however didn't fully slow to a stop as you were walking, and end up slipping off the edge into the small hole next to Toto who was calmly sat at the bottom, legs covered in sand.

"Offph, I know when i married you I signed up for this. But boy do I hate sand in all my crevices" you joke looking over him before helping him out if the sand and up from the beach hole he was in.

"Your the one who got me to come to the Bahamas with you! I would have happily spent my winter at home or in i don’t know Lapland!" He comments, pulling you into a hug. He loved the warm weather so he actually wouldn’t change this for the world.

The next few hours flew by, you and Toto had got your son onto a Lilo and both took him in the sea, showing him all the fishes that were in the crystal clear waters and explaining what they were to him and he had this look of fascination the whole time.

You watched on as Toto rented one of the JetSkis racing around the safe water sports area trying to look cool in front of you, his wife of course!

Then you guys got lunch on the beach bar having some drinks and making sure the little one stayed hydrated on water and juices, he’d become very fond of Dragon Fruit and Papaya on this holiday.

After a few more hours, your getting too hot, your forehead lined in sweat and not enjoying the rising temperatures and lack of wind to help cool you down. You say that you’ll go back to the hotel lobby to get a cocktail and cool down while Toto stays around the pool in the cool water with your son, who didn’t want to go inside and wasn’t suffering from the heat unlike you.

You get in, walking straight to the sports bar where that are showing some Premiere League Football on the TV, Aston Villa vs Burnley. You order your cocktail and go straight under the fan, your face immediately cooling down.

You watch the match, while playing one of those silly games on your phone that don’t take too much attention but use up time until you start to feel like you can head back out.

You stayed there for at least 45 minutes, where you had finally cooled down and felt like you could join your family back outside. You start to walk through the hotel again, noticing little things you hadn’t from when your first got here, like the fish tank behind the reception desk or the cafe off to the left serving coffees and hot chocolate in heat like this.

Eventually you found your sun beds again, Toto was calmly reading his book that he’d brought with him while your son was laying under the umbrella and under a towel where he slept soundly exhausted from all the morning activities.

Rather than going and laying on your own sun bed, you force Totos legs open and sit in between them grabbing your own book out. You were reading some riveting murder mystery where the main character was about to confront her boyfriend thinking he was the murderer when your child woke up, complaining he was hungry.

Toto places his book down and looks at his watch seeing it was around 3. Which means you guys should start to consider lunch before it’s too late.

You walk to the restaurant. Toto holding your hand in one and your sons in the other.

The waiter direct you to one of the more secluded tables in the VIP sections offering you drinks.

“Juice juice juice” your son changed at the Bahamian waitress who just giggled and nodded knowing exactly what your son wanted as she’d been very helpful to you and your family over the last few days.

“I suspect a Kalik Beer and a Tequila Sunrise?” She asks and you both nod thanking her for being so kind and welcoming.

“Come on baby let’s go grab you some grub” you smile down at the little boy, holding out your hand for him to take.

You grab multiple different food items, on two different plates one for you and one for your son. Toto always hated when he had to wait behind on the tables and watch as you and his son walked around hand in hand picking out which delicacy’s he wanted, which most days turned out to be plain kid like food, unlike you and Toto who were every adventurous on your travels, always trying local cuisine.

You set yourself back down in the gable, Toto helping the young boy into his hair so that he could start to enjoy his food and eat. Toto went up right after quickly finding himself somethings to eat before running back so he didn’t miss anything being said.

You guys talk about the holiday so far and if there was anything you really felt like you had to do before you left. Your son babbled to himself while you and Toto continued.

After lunch ended up spending the rest of the afternoon around the pool before you left at around 7pm, purely because the pool closed. No-one was in a rush to get to dinner.

You all spend your time getting ready, you doing your makeup out on the balcony while Toto and your son showered getting all the sand of their bodies.

You walk into the room, seeing your son pulling his Velcro shoes on by himself and Toto in nice fabriced dinner shorts and bare chest as he looked for a nice polo go wear to dinner.

He spotted your gaze and walked over to you, leaning down kissing your lips making you recoil away knowing that your lip gloss would transfer into his lips and leave yours meaning your makeup left ruined for the night.

"Whyyyyy?" he whined looking at you with a frowny and pouty expression that had you giggling.

"I can’t have you smudging all this work baby" you smirk, knowing he wouldn’t care if you went out with mascara streaming down your face.

"Hmmmm, can you choose me a top! Then I’ll be ready to go?" he exclaims before crossing back over to where the closet was in the fairly spacious hotel room.

“Mmmm i like the green but your a little red today baby, so maybe this Brown one” you say holding up the Brown Lacoste Polo.

“Good choice Liebling” he smiles pulling you in for a quick kiss, your son smiling happily and clapping his hands at the interaction making you do it one last time.

He looks in the mirror, trying to fix his wet hair before grabbing the hairdryer not wanting it to go puffy from the humidity here in the Bahamas, he made that mistake on the first night.

“Im so warm already I feel sticky” you complain as you guys step out of your air conditioned hotel room and into the hallways where the glass windows always remained open letting all the hot air inside.

“Yes I can feel it” he teases as he holds your hips swaying you from side to side as you all wait for the lift to come down from either the 12, 16th or up from the 2nd floor. Your son always loved predicting which one would get there first.

"Mmmmm no please!" you complain hating how his big hands that you usually love on you see just as sweaty as your body.

"I'm hurt Schatz! You won’t accept physical contract from me? Your husband?" he asks looking over you and you want to nod you really do but his expression makes you lean into his hold, and let him drape his arms around you while you both watch your son stand in front of the third lift, that being his prediction.

He was right and you all happily clambered into the lifts, Toto lifting him up as you direct him so you can take a picture of the three of you to put on your Instagram and send to your parents and your mother in law who wanted updates on your guys holiday. You’d begged her to come with you but she was a busy lady, promising she’d come next year.

“This is exactly what I needed” he sighs into your next as the lift continues it’s decent.

“Mmmm me too, it’s been a tough year for both of us”

“We earned this” he smiles kissing your neck just before the doors open exposing you to the lobby where your son runs out straight to the massive fish tank making you and Toto both laugh to one another.

What a way to have a break before the next intense season!

@littlesatanicassholebitch @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @stupidandunnecessary @clayra-g @daemyratwst @honey-belden @moonypixel @lauralarsen @vader-is-hot @ironcowboycopnickel @itsjustkhaos @the-untamed-soul @beebo86 @happylittlereader @ziejustme @lou-larcher5 @thewulf @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @chillyleclerc @chanthereader @annoyingmoonballoon @summissss @evieepepi08 @havaneseoger08 @celesteblack08 @gulphulp @fandom1ruined2me @celebstories @starfusionsworld @jspitwall @sierruhh @georgeparisole @dakotatankbig @youcannotcancelquidditch @zzonsbeek @tallbrownhairsarcastic @mellowarcadefun @ourteenagetragedy @otako5811 @countingstacksandpanicattacks @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @hopexcroc @mirrorball-6 @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @bigsimperika @blueberry64857959 @eiraethh @lilypadlover @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @the-fem1n1ne-urge @21stcenturytaegi @dark-night-sky-99 @i-wish-this-was-me @tallrock35 @butterfly-lover @barnestatic @landossainz @darleneslane @barcelonaloverf1life @r0nnsblog @ilove-tswizzle @kapsylia @laneyspaulding19 @lazybot @malynn @cassielikereading @viennakarma @landosgirlxoxo @marie0v @jlb20416 @yourbane @teamnovalak @nikfigueiredo @fionaschicken @0picels0 @seomako @urdad-hot @tinydeskwriter @butterfly-lover @ironmaiden1313 @splaterparty0-0 @formula1mount @styl1shl1v @pear-1206

[kombuuuu]

Birthday Girl.

Earth42!Miles x Reader + Pavitr x Reader

“Happy Birthday, [Name].”

Headcanons and snippets C:

i want to wife him

E42!Miles: Purple Pavitr: Orange You: Pink Rio Morales: Blue

Miles Morales:

Would wake you up with breakfast in bed

if it’s a day where he’s called in for a job he’ll fight Aaron on getting the day off for you

although, the fight wouldn’t last long

Aaron likes you too, so with a sigh and a pinch of his nose bridge, he concides

letting Miles have the day off but only with a promise of working him to the bone the next day over

he rolls his eyes but the smirk on his face makes his uncle scoff a laugh

so with breakfast in hand, he’s gently shaking you awake

whispering your name with the promise of food

your sleepy voice greeting him makes the butterflies in his stomach awaken

“[Name].. Wake up, Chiquita, I have breakfast.”

“Food? Hi, Miles.”

He smiles at your slurred words, and you peak your head from under your covers. Pulling yourself to sit up.

There’s a spread of breakfasts foods in front of you, all your favourites.

“Miles..”

“Happy Birthday, Mami.”

“I’m gonna kiss you.”

“I won’t stop you.”

Spoils you with gifts

literally anything he could’ve possibly seen that you even might have liked

designer shoes to match with him (Nike Airs)

Matching jewellery as well, literally adores matching with you

gets you a chain with his name on it and one with yours for himself

whether you like silver or gold he gets you some premium shit

likes the look of white gold so that’s what he got himself

would do genuinely anything you want him 2

takes you to your fav nail tech to get you both done

he lets you choose the colours but makes sure to include purple with his own

after he takes you shopping,

you tell him off

he literally already bought you so much

knows what he’s doing tho

“Miles!”

“Aye, ma. C’mere.”

“We’re not going in there.”

“Yes we are.”

He settles his hands along your waist, turning you towards the boutique.

“Miles— It’s expensive in—,”

“I have an opening booked for us.”

His monotoned voice dragged in your ear, a shiver in its wake.

“Wha— C’mon!”

“Don’t pout at me, Mami. Might have to take you home.”

“I’m not pouting—“

“Hi.”

“Hello Mr.Morales, Right this way, Please.”

“Mr.Morales..?”

take you both to a boutique to get you clothes for the night

let’s you try on any dress you want

you try and pick the ones that don’t look too pricey

he catches on pretty quick and ends up picking the dresses for you to try himself

makes you show off for him

likes how you look in expensive shit and makes it known

“Damn, ma. Gonna have to buy that one for a later date..”

“Baby, no event is going to come up anytime soon that big enough for a dress like this.”

“I’m a patient man.”

ends up getting something that complements both your nails and the matching jewellery

also buys the matching shoes

he had a huge thing for seeing you in heels, but if you prefer flats he’ll make the workers find you something

gets a suit for himself

he’s been here before so they know his measurements.

gets a simple white blouse, with a dark grey set, a matching waist coat with it. And a black tie to go with the black buttons on the waist coat and cuffs.

doesn’t really bother with shoes

just figured he’s gonna wear his normal shit

when checking out, he makes sure to distract you with talk on what he plans for the night

adding tidbits that have both you and the store clerk blushing

the poor clerk just trying to ring you up

He leant over to whisper in your ear, rather loudly for someone “trying” to be discreet.

“Can’t wait to take you home, Chiquita. Seein’ you all dolled up for me? Jesus..”

“Oh my god.”

“That’ll be—“

“I got it.”

The clerk handed you the bags quickly before printing the receipt and going to rush off.

“Thank you, Have a nice day.”

Miles’ rumbling chuckle made your knees weaken.

“Yeah, we will.”

Takes you home to get ready,

touching you the whole time you do your make-up

whether it’d be a hand smoothing down your shoulders, massaging you while you worked

or his grip on the expanse of your waist

or even his nails raking down your back, watching the goose bumps rise as he did, infatuated

eventually you were both ready

and it was late

he took you to a high end restaurant, Electric Lemon it was called

and when you walked in greeted by his family, mingling with yours

you might have teared up a bit

“Chiquita? You ok?”

“Mmha..”

“If it’s too much we ca—“

“No, Miles, I love it. I love you—,”

You turned to him, the small smile gracing his lips a rare but gorgeous sight.

“This is perfect, thank you.”

“Love you too, Mi Cielo.”

“Oh (Name)! Feliz cumple! No es linda? Miles hizo increible!”

“Oh! [Name]! Happy Birthday! Isn’t this so nice? Miles did amazing!”

“Momma, Please—“

'Oh! Y Aaron era tan secreto sobre lo que era -'

“Oh! And Aaron was all secretive about what it was—,”

She leaned close to you, whispering “-así supe que toda fue para ti”

“,—so I knew it was for you.”

She smiled sweetly at you while you giggled back. Thanking her for coming to see you. She waved you off, walking you an Miles over to Aaron as she spoke.

“No, no me das gracias. Tu eres mi hija. Sería un crimen no venir.”

“No, Don’t thank me. You’re my daughter, it’d be a crime to not show up.”

You glanced over to Miles, seeing the sincerity behind his eyes when watching the two loves of his life interact so sweetly. You smiled back in turn.

He whisked you away from the party, after a while. Taking you to the more secluded parts of the rooftop. Completely devoid of life, he cradled your head to his and kissed you earnestly. Putting his Heart and Soul into loving you.

You giggled into his mouth, watching him smile back. You dragged your finger down the centre of his braids, something he’d come to love you doing. He pulled back from you, watching you smile up at him. His eyes shining with an endless love.

“Happy Birthday, [Name].”

—

he is so boyfriend coded

Pavitr Prabhakar:

will do similar to Miles, but not with breakfast in bed

will wake you up with flowers and kisses and an outfit he knew you liked set out for you

like i said in this, sleepy you makes him go insane

he’d let you sit with him a while whilst you woke up, and would smother you in love, whispering his praise to you

pulls you into his lap to look him in the eye while he confesses how much he loves you like it’s the first time all over again

“Thithli, you mean the world to me—,”

He massaged the flesh of your thighs, resting along his waist. He was flustered looking up to you, knowing you were there, with him, drove him farther head over heels.

“—You’re the love of my life, getting older with you is the greatest blessing of my life.”

“Pav.. baby..” You whined his name, waking up to such affections would be something you could never get used to.

“I’m so glad you exist with me, Shonu.”

You shoved you head into his neck, hiding your lovey-dovey smile from him.

“Love you, Pavitr..”

“Love you more, [Name].”

When you’ve woken up more

he coaxed you for a shower, taking care of you like the doting lover he is

pats you dry and helps you dress, then dresses himself

all while telling you how you make him whole, how you’re the reason he’s here and he’ll never be as happy as he is with you

it’s obsessive, but you’re just as bad

you tell him more in touches than in words, and he takes it in stride.

he’s come to know your love language, both of you sharing touch, but you take in the quality time trait as well

so he makes sure to drag the day out as long as he can

makes the morning slow, brings you his gifts and starts the food while you open them

he pets your cat and cooks, watching you out of the corner of his eye

He’d gotten you a set of bangles with small spiders engraved, crested in diamonds.

ones matching to the ones he wears

accompanied with a matching collar for your cat, which you smiled at

he’d also gotten you smaller, sentimental things likes references to your first dates, massage oils,

and things you’d said you liked in passing, that’d he’d remembered. because of course he had

he smiles when you shyly cover your mouth, looking down at the things he’d gifted with teary eyes

knowing how hard it is for you to accept gifts,

he doesn’t say anything, just turns the stove down and walks over to kiss you

“You okay, Jaanu?”

You looked up at him from the paper in your hands, nodding with a pout of your lips and a tremble in your voice.

“Yeah—, Yes, I’m good.”

He leant over to kiss your temple, smiling as he turned back to tend to the food, “Thank you, Pav.”

He glanced back over at you.

“My pleasure, Thithli.”

you lie in bed together for another two hours after you eat

just taking in each others prescience and letting the calming white noise of a distant show in the background soothe you

you hold him close, listening to his heart beat

when a song comes on he recognises and he sings to it softly, the contented sigh you let out is involuntary

he eventually gets you up again, since you’re already dressed, you feed your cat and leave

he walks you through the streets of his home, bringing you to his favourite spots

to feed the stray dogs with him, or to grip onto him and swing over the immense traffic

“Pav, If I fall, I’m blaming you.”

“Thithli, you won’t fall. I promise.”

“Okay.. But if I do—“ He grabbed your waist and hoisted you against him, shooting a web to a high building and swinging you up. Using his bangles to create more momentum and fluidity with his swings.

“Pavitr Prabhakar! I’m going to kill you!”

“Kiss me? Doesn’t really sound like a threat..”

“I swear—“

His sweetened laugh interrupted your spiel, and you couldn’t even be mad.

he eventually leads you back to his house

where your friends and family (his included), are waiting for you.

They greet you in tandem, with a cute, fairly out of sync “Surprise!”

the furniture in his house had been pushed into the far corners and the tiles of his family’s large lounging area had been made into a make-shift dance floor,

everything else being decorated in a very honest sense

and if there was a ache in your chest for the love you’d felt then, no one but you would know

all your spidery friends were there as well— only making the evening even more special

festivities shown were upbeat and exciting and you hadn’t felt more of a community than you had at that moment

When a lull in the upbeat songs play, and a slower, more set tone starts through the speakers—, Pavitr cuts in, taking you from Hobie, who shoots him off with a wink.

He holds you close, starting a slow dancing sway with you.

“How’re you finding it, Shonu?”

The lights dancing in your eyes make you evermore pretty to him.

“It’s—.. Its beautiful Pav, I’m so happy,”

People had started to sway with you, keeping the middle of the floor clean for you and your lover.

“,Thank you.”

“Only the best for you, [Name].”

You’d swayed with him for another minute before the end of the song had approached. Him twirling you out and catching you in a dip whilst you laughed and went along with it.

He brought you up into a quick, cheesy kiss.

“How romantic.”

“Cause I love you.”

Your voice quietened. “Love you more, Spidey.”

He stared at you a moment longer, placing a kiss along your temple once more.

“Happy Birthday, [Name].”

—

FOR MY BDAY GIRL @juneberrie 🥳🥳‼️

and ty to my lovely translator 🫶 @kissmxcheek

(PUT ME IN A CELL 💥💥⬇️)

[jaythes1mp]

Hello how are you? I hope you are well!

Okay wait this idea is probably dumb and stupid so you can ignore it since it popped up into my head and I wanted to ask but what about a goldfish! reader who can turn into a human.

It’s like cat! Reader or puppy! reader but instead of them being either of those they can change into a goldfish.

How would the Batfamily treat them? Like a huge tank or something? Premium fish food? Treats?

How would the Batfamily treat their human form?

I started to laugh while writing this so haha

Have a wonderful day/ night/ evening!

I LOVE YOUR WORK SO MUCH TAKE A BREAK AND MAKE SURE TO REST AND DRINK WATER AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!! 🩷❤️💙🩵💚💜💛

⭐️anon (I just dubbed myself that sorry 🤣)

You can totally be ⭐️ anon, I love your energy!

In the case of a goldfish reader, and any other freshwater creatures that they may turn into, the family would first have to develop a fiercely protective and possessive obsession over the human half before they would become overly invested in the aquatic aspects.

It's not until the family has become yandere that they would start showing a particularly possessive interest in your freshwater form.

With a goldfish in mind, Jason wouldn’t likely exhibit a strong interest in you due to the limitations of your aquatic form. But on those rare occasions when he’s at the manor, he’ll still opt to spend time with you, enjoying your company even if you can’t do the same things he typically enjoys.

However, if Jason were able to find a way to force you into remaining in your human form with him, then he’d probably become completely fixated on keeping you by his side at all times. You’re still his Darling, yknow? It’s a pity that the rest of the fam won’t let him keep you at his house. He’d even buy a large tank for when you shift, and everything!

Tim would be delighted the thought of stealing you from the manors comedically oversized enclosure, which they had built in just for you, to swap you out for a regular fish he had bought at the nearest pet store, just to see how long it took for the rest of the family to notice.

He'd keep you in a tank on his desk, right next to all his paperwork, so that he can watch over you as he works away, taking little breaks to observe and admire you as you swim about in your watery prison.

Tim would make sure to keep the tank well-decorated and comfortable, adding in your favorite plants, stones, and trinkets to keep you entertained. Similar to the main one in the center of the manor, just with far less space.

But regardless of how pretty your tank looks, it would still feel like a prison. You're always going to be painfully aware of your confinement. Especially when the one on Tim’s desk has a lid, forcing you to stay and swim endless circles, never stopping until he feels gracious enough to let you out.

Damian treats you with extreme care. Everything must be perfect. With a sterile, immaculate tank, an ample supply of food 24/7, your health in top condition, and absolutely no signs of boredom. Even the slightest hint of loneliness will have him instantly scooping you out of the water, either forcing you to change back to spend time together, or he'll invest in a portable tank to smuggle you into his school. You'll never be left to your own devices for long, as he's always making sure that you're given all the attention that you deserve.

Damian is fully aware of how susceptible fish can be to depression, and given the somewhat abrupt manner of your kidnapping, he won’t take any chances. So, to prevent any potential psychological distress, he's extremely careful to provide you with everything you could possibly need to be happy and healthy. With ample space to swim around, a proper diet, and plenty of stimuli to keep you entertained. When you’re with him, it's as if you're living a life of unparalleled luxury, in spite of your confinement.

Although, Damian has still accidentally snatched up the counterfeit you that Tim had placed in your tank, and it was ultimately Conner who had to break the news to him that it wasn't the real you half way through the school day.

Dick, being the affectionate sibling that he is, would probably still keep you company while in your goldfish form. He'd swim about in the water with you, and find ways to interact and entertain you, such as tossing in small toys for you to play with, or placing his hands in the water to let you nuzzle against them. He's just glad that you're in a more vulnerable form, as it reminds him of when Jason was a child and how he’d missed out on the time in your life where you'd of been more receptive to his affection.

He’d probably even have special underwater equipment installed in the tank, like a communication device so that he could “talk” to you, bubbles that he could blow at you, or maybe even an intercom for music, just so he could better connect with you in your aquatic form. Dick will stop at no end to ensure that you feel loved and included, even as a fish.

It’ll be almost the same as with your human form, but instead of using words or touch, Dick will find other creative ways to pamper and spoil you, like adding special treats or fish toys to the tank, or arranging the underwater environment into a little sanctuary just for you. He’ll do everything in his power to show how much he cares, just like the affectionate big brother that he’s forced you to see him as. Just how it’s supposed to be.

The last of the family is Bruce. While the others find ways to pamper and spoil you, Bruce's interactions with you as a fish are a little more distant. He'll dutifully check in on you at least twice a day, making sure that the tank is clean and that the water quality is up to standard. But after that, he'll spend less and less time around your enclosure.

He's more comfortable when you're in human form around him, as it allows him to better understand your wellbeing. He can gauge your emotions, check if you've been eating enough, and actually see you properly, instead of just catching glimpses of your little fish body hiding behind the expensive rocks.

You're now Bruce’s child, and yet, when you’re in your goldfish form, he can't help but feel a distance between you. Perhaps it's the inability to communicate, or the way your little fish body seems to hide behind everything, but it's harder for him to truly connect with you on a deeper level. Maybe it's the cold reality of knowing that he’s keeping you in confinement, or the loss of affection, but something about your life as a fish just doesn’t sit well with him.

Link to Masterlist

Extra

[yuqiune]

☆ She's My Collar

Heads up: Contains; Face sitting, squirting, kinda facial, make out, hair gripping, overstimulation, female bodied reader, fluff at the end

Member: Jongseob

A/n: The fact that jongseob likes Gorillazs makes me so happy idk why, I don't really hear idols talk about groups like gorillaz so trust I screamed. Sorry I'm rambling but I hope this is good, shorter than I thought

𖹭 You don't have to read if uncomfortable

𖹭 @kisseobie @ilseobiee

──────────୨ৎ───────────

"Jongseob~"

The grip on the headboard got tighter with every second, your legs numbing. One hand on the headboard and the other lost in his yellow locs of hair. He's been eating you out for what felt like hours, the best hours of your life. Lick after lick, slurping back to back, his tongue flipping through your folds like a book, drawing every moan and whiny whimper you had.

"We made a green meadow, Whenever we would collide"

The numerous violent orgasms that ripped through you from his tongue alone made you impossibly wetter than before "Seobie~" the only responses you got from him were muffed grunts, sending vibrations straight to your core, which caused you to pull on his hair more.

You had tear stained cheeks when he lifted you up above his head, you would look at him with blurred eyes. His face would glisten from your slick and cum, mostly his mouth and nose. He would flicker on your clit and your eyes would shoot back to your head as you spray all over him, freeing your hand and covering your mouth as your squirt landed over his face, covering anything not drenched already

He would lick his lips and look at you with lustful eyes "Don't do that baby" his groggy voice made your brain fuzzy "your noises get me going, wanna please you more" he growls before forcing you back down onto his tongue, whimpering on contact. You runt your cunt against his mouth and nose and breathe out a moan at the sensation you felt.

He slurped all your juices and cum, messing over your pussy like it was the last meal he would ever devour again. His muffled groans and sentences sent shocks of pleasure up your body, making your eyes blur as tears trinkled down your face "seobie~ fuck" you cried "Too much baby, g-gonna cum again-" a quick gasp got caught in your throat when he plunged his tongue into your pussy, a porn like moan escaped your lips as you pulled on his hair again.

You started riding his face and tongue, his hand caressing your thighs to your hips, over and around your ass, gripping your body. Faint chants of his name float into the air as your head rolls back. The buzz of your hot, sweaty arousal and your sticky wet and basically numb thighs around his head as your cunt was being mulled made you heart and pussy pulsate.

Your moans got louder and longer as your thighs began to shake, you were gonna cum. Hot and hard. Your knuckles were practically white from the grip you had. His tongue didn't stop, he continued to swirl and twist every which way, hitting different angles for your pleasure.

Your vision flashed white as you felt your body fall limp, you caught yourself against the headboard as you pant, completely winded and out of breath "shit.." You huffed. You shakily lift off of jongseob's face and lay down next to him, eyes barely opened. He props himself on his forearm and cheekily smiles down at you, licking his lips "you taste good" he wiped the corner of his lips, picking up your cum and licking it off. You huffed and rolled your eyes at him and he lightly laughed

"If hearing gorillaz makes you this horny, we might have to cut your Spotify premium" you lightly wiped his cheek, trying to clean some of 'you' off "You seemed to enjoy it" he said, leaning down close to you, his nose brushing yours lightly. Your breath hitched at his action "you were the one that started kissing me" you bit back "you kissed me back" he playfully scoffed "Oh yeah?" You said, the tiniest space between you and his lips

"Yeah.." He lightly kisses, his hand finding its way to your waist, caressing you, your lips finding rhythm with him. It didn't take long for the kiss to get heated after what conquered earlier, he was suddenly on top of you as your tongues danced together, you could taste yourself.His traveled all over your body, his touch felt so loving, it made your heart swell.

You both parted, panting lightly. "You're so cute" you smiled at him "I'm supposed to tell you that" he said, his cheeks tinted pink at your comment, making you giggle softly "whatever" you didn't know how in love he was with you. The sex was amazing, obviously, but getting to see you everyday, hearing you laugh and talk about anything and nothing, Getting to be there for your pretty and ugly moments made him feel completely and utterly chained to you. You were melody to his heartbeat drum.

"She's the one I'm running with. She's my collar"

[bluesylveon2]

To the Most Handsome of Them All (800 Follower Special ft the third years)

Again, this is late but thank you for 800 followers!!

Summary: The third years fight over an apple (not clickbait)

Note: platonic third years x Yuu/reader (there is a hint of romance, but you have to squint), crack, chaos, humor, some second years cameo, and the third years being ready to fight each other.

Warning: fem Yuu/reader, not beta read, some cursing, Ortho threatening Idia, and possible ooc characters

Word Count: 4.5k

Masterlist: here

Somewhere within Pomefiore's lab was a short, feminine-looking-

"Hey! I can hear ya!"

(Sorry. Ahem. Where was I?)

A lavender-haired boy wearing a lab coat and stirring a suspicious liquid in a pot. 

"Mwahaha, you will pay for all the trouble you give me, Vil Schoenheit." The boy pulled out his laddle with a shiny golden apple in it. He carefully picked up the apple with one hand and whispered a charm into its glossy skin. 

"Let's give NRC a taste of drama." The boy picked up a knife and smiled sinisterly. 

"MWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Trey and Cater rested in the courtyard under a tree, finally free from their classes. The area was quiet, and there were a few lingering students. Cater hummed a popular song as he scrolled through Magicam. Trey was coming up with the following experiment for the science club. 

"So I heard Vil's film about the sleeping princess was a hit. Everybody is talking about it!" Cater said, showing Trey the latest Magicam post. 

"Let's hope that Yuu uses her share of the profit on things she needs," Trey smiled, proud of his underclassman's hard work. 

"Like premium tuna cans?" Cater snickered before bursting out into laughter. "OW! What was that?" He exclaimed and held on to his sore head. 

"What do you mean?" Trey asked with concern, and then he saw it. From the corner of his eye, there was a golden apple lying not far from them. Trey picked it up to examine. "To the most handsome third year? What a weird thing to carve into an apple."

"Let me see that!" Cater swiped the apple and held it at eye level. "Hmm. Yep, that's what it says." His eyes lit up like a light, and he held the fruit close to his face. 

"Cater, what are you-" 

Snap

"Who is the handsomest of them all? #handsome #thirdyear #apple #golden #totallyme," Cater typed away on his phone until he hit send. 

Trey's eyes widen in alarm. "Cater, why are you posting that?"

Cater dramatically rolled his eyes. "C'mon, and think about it! Our class is filled with princes, models, heirs, you name it! Wouldn't you want to know who is the best-looking?"

Trey rubbed the back of his neck in confusion. "I guess? But that makes us look like chopped liver. We don't fit under that criteria."

"I wouldn't underestimate your looks, Chevalier of Rose. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, like the pomme in Monsieur Magicam's hands." A smooth voice chuckled. Cater and Trey looked up to find Rook sitting on a branch and smirking at them. The blonde swiftly jumped down and landed next to Trey. 

"I agree with Rook," The sound of heels alerted the trio of the newcomer. "Don't underestimate yourself, potatoes."

Cater sweatdropped. "I don't know if I should take that as a compliment."

Vil ignored the comment and walked up to Cater instead. "I saw your post, Cater, and I believe that apple belongs to me."

"What makes you say that?" a smug voice asked, causing Vil to roll his eyes. "Herbivore's post said it was for the most 'handsomest third year.' What makes you the one who deserves the apple?"

Vil smirked and crossed his arms. "I am the embodiment of being the fairest, and unlike you, Leona, I have many fans. Therefore, that apple belongs to me."

Leona put a hand on his hips. "Being fair has nothing to do with looks." He and Vil glared at each other like rivals, leaving the others to watch. 

"I feel like we are watching a drama show," Trey whispered to Cater. 

"Totally."

"Tres bien! Roi du Poison is so beautiful even when he is mad!"

"ORTHO PUT ME DOWN! I DO NOT WANT TO BE ASSOCIATED WITH THESE NORMIES!" Idia's screams caused everyone to watch as Ortho carried his older brother like he was a wet cat. The humanoid's eyes sparkled as his eyes landed on the group of third-years. 

"There they are!" He flew to the group and dropped his brother on the ground. "Big Brother, you are going to prove to your friends that you are handsome, and you cannot return to Ignihyde until you prove yourself!" 

"B-B-B-BWAH?! Do you not see me compared to them?" He pointed at Leona and Vil. "I am literally an R card compared to the SSRs! I am not qualified for this! Can I go-" Ortho's glare caused Idia to stop rambling. The others didn't hold back their smirks as the younger Shroud placed a finger on Idia's chest. 

"You are going to stay here and spend time with your friends. Do I make myself clear?" For a cute and innocent-looking humanoid, Ortho was more than his looks.

"They aren't really my friends…" Idia mumbled and fiddled with his fingers.

"Big Brother."

"EEP!"

"Fufufufu. Don't worry, Ortho. I can help keep an eye on him," Lilia's mischievous voice sent chills down Idia's spine. The bat fae floated down from the sky and rested a hand on Ortho's shoulder. To Idia's horror, Ortho smiled with glee. 

"I assure you, younger Shroud. Your brother will participate in this contest," Malleus, the final third year of the ragtag group, said as he joined in and patted Ortho on his blue fire head. 

"Looks like it is time for me to go. Have fun with your friends, Big Brother!" Ortho flew off, leaving Idia to fend for himself.

"WAIT ORTHO! DON'T LEAVE ME!" Idia jumped up, only to be grabbed by the hoodie by Malleus. Idia blushed in embarrassment as Malleus held him up like a cat. 

"Honestly, it is like leaving a child in daycare," Vil sighed and turned to the group. "Alright, boys. How shall we settle this?"

"I propose we FIGHT TO THE DEATH!" Lilia exclaimed. Everyone's eyes widened except for Malleus, who was unfazed by it. 

"Not bad, Lilia. I can get behind that idea," Leona smirked, his eyes trained on Malleus as he spoke. 

"Oo la la! That would be a marvelous sight to see. A fight between Roi du Dragons and Roi du Leon would bless my eyes!"

"Lils' idea is cool and all, but can we not do something that can get us killed?" Cater popped in, and Idia eagerly nodded in agreement. 

"As much as I would like to see Leona and Malleus ruin each other's looks with bloodshed, someone who looks the most desirable deserves the apple." Vil picked up his magical pen and summoned a small jeweled box with a heart on it. He swished his pen. The apple floated out of Cater's hands and landed on the box's cushion. "This apple will remain here until a winner is determined."

"Can I be the judge of that?" Idia raised his hand. Lilia and Malleus looked at him, confused. "What? I'm not going to win anyway. Take me out of the running by making me the judge." 

Malleus sighed and dropped Idia to the ground. "Honestly, Shroud. You self-deprecate yourself, yet you are handsome already."

"Yeah, even the Ghost Bride thought so!" Lilia joined in.

Idia had never felt more embarrassed in his life. "That woman was delulu!"

"What we need-" Leona interrupted. "Is somebody besides Radish Sprout to judge this?"

Vil, watching the whole exchange, nodded in agreement. The staff would be a good idea, but they might confiscate the apple before he could get his hands on it. They needed somebody else. A lightbulb lit up in his head. Vil cleared his throat to get everyone's attention. 

"Gather around, potatoes. I have an idea."

"How kind of you to consult with me. My benevolence shall decide who deserves this apple."

"Cut the crap, Azul, and pick somebody," Jamil said with irritation. A vein began to pop out of his forehead. The poor vice housewarden could feel his stress building already. 

Vil's great plan led the group (along with a few second years) to Mostro Lounge. The group had managed to squeeze into one booth. On the other end of the table were the second years. The Octotrio didn't mind the company, Jamil looked pissed, and Kalim was just happy to be there. 

Floyd sat up straighter from his spot on the Lounge's leather sofa. "So let me get this straight. You guys want us to pick the most handsome to get an apple?"

Trey chuckled nervously. "As ridiculous as it sounds, yes." 

Floyd did not look convinced. "That's a dumb idea. Why should we be helping you out?"

Vil sighed. He did not need to sigh anymore, or he might get wrinkles. "You five are the only dorms without third years in this group. So, as neutral parties, you should decide who gets it."

Kalim's mouth opened in an o, "You know, I always wondered why that was…" 

"Fine, I'll start," Floyd rolled his eyes and pointed at the third years. eenie, meenie, minie, you-— His finger landed on Leona, causing the beastman to smirk at everyone. 

"A vote is a vote," Leona said, looking at Malleus, who was frowning. Meanwhile, Floyd unceremoniously flopped back down on the sofa. He closed his eyes, drowning out the incoming argument between the two princes. 

"That is not how it should be done, Kingscholar," Malleus said through gritted teeth. It surprised Lilia how his son was not blasting Leona into oblivion. Probably to not ruin his chances. "You were voted by chance."

"Oh yeah? And what are you going to do about it?"

"If I may," Jade interrupted and faced the third years. "I would like to cast my vote." The third years watched with curiosity as Jade's heterochromatic eyes scanned them. "Trey."

The lounge was quiet, minus the sounds of a clock ticking nearby. 

"WHAT" Everyone's eyes widen, and they turn to the man who looks as confused as they do. 

"Why are you confused, Trey? You're in the lead with Leona right now!" Cater exclaimed as he took selfies with Trey to post later. 

"I was expecting someone like Leona or Vil," Trey chuckled while ignoring glares from the two. 

Jade smiled. "Let me explain. According to a questionnaire from the East, most females prefer guys who fit Trey's description over others, hence my decision to pick him."

"Okay, so that's one point for Trey," Cater said while typing on his phone. "What about you, Azul?" 

Azul smirked and stood up. He let out a dramatic sigh. "Well, my decision is based on who would bring me the most money if I were to put them as the face of the Lounge." 

"Thank Sevens, that's not me," Idia muttered. He quietly tiptoed towards the door, only to be stopped by someone grabbing his hoodie.

"You're not leaving under my watch, Shroud," Malleus said sternly and dragged the poor boy back to his spot. His grip remained on the hoodie. 

Luckily for them, Azul did not seem to notice. "That leaves someone with beauty. Not someone rough and brutal." He glared at Leona before continuing. "Therefore, I would pick Vil."

Vil smirked and had an 'I told you so' look as he looked at the others. Leona felt the urge to wipe off the smug look on Vil's face. 

"And what about you?" He gestured to Jamil. "Let me also remind you who saved your ass from Radish Sprout over here." 

Idia rolled his eyes. "Yet the normies made it out alive in the end. Field trip with me was 7/10 tops." 

The overblot boys shuddered at the memory, unaware of the last member's internal crisis. 

Malleus leaned towards Lilia, a frown etched on his face. "The others got invited on a trip with Shroud? Why didn't I get one?"

Lilia smiled and patted Malleus on the back. "Soon, I promise you that. Now look, Jamil is going to make his choice."

The vice housewarden felt a headache coming on. After this monstrosity, a nap after tending Kalim was needed. "I would have to pick Cater. He is decent in my eyes." 

"Really?!" Cater's eyes went wide. "I knew I could always count on you!" He exclaimed and pulled Jamil in for a side to take a selfie. "This has to go on Magicam!"

Lilia wiped a pretend tear out of his eye. "Oh, poor me. What did a cute and young boy like me do to deserve this? Wah…” 

"I can think of many," Leona muttered.

Lilia ignored Leona's statement and turned to Kalim with puppy dog eyes. "Kalim, my dear friend, you must pick me to heal my fragile heart."

"What you need to see is a doctor before your back breaks too," Malleus added, but Lilia also ignored that. 

"Do I have to?" Kalim wailed. "This is too hard, and you are all my friends."

"Magnifique! What beautiful words!" Rook sighed and held his chest where his heart was.

"Asim thinks I'm his friend…" Malleus whispered to himself, a giddy feeling in his chest. 

"HECK NO! I refuse to befriend a cheerful guy like him! Not happening!" Idia exclaimed, causing Vil to elbow him out of irritation. 

"I know! I'll pick Malleus, Idia, Lilia, and Rook! That way, you all get a point," Kalim said cheerfully, his face bright like the sun. 

"That has to be the most wholesome thing I have ever heard," Rook wiped a tear from his eye. "Beaute!" 

The others did not share the same sentiment. Leona's ears perked up when he heard thunder booming at a distance. 

"Gentlemen," Azul stepped in casually or stupidly, depending on how Malleus will react. "It seems like you are going to need another person to seal the deal. Someone from a neutral party."

The thunder stopped, and Malleus turned to Azul with interest. "Oh? Do tell, Ashengrotto.”

Azul smirked. Oh, how his dear friend is in for a wonderful surprise. 

It was a peaceful day in Ramshakle, and Yuu spent it the best way she knew, ordering pizza and spending it with Grim. No ADeuce. No Sebek screaming her ear off. No Octotrio trying to scam her. 

(You get the picture)

Yuu was preparing the snacks just as the doorbell rang. 

"It's probably the pizza! I'll get it, Grim. You pick a show to watch," she yelled. Two tall figures were standing at the door. That looked different from the pizza delivery guy. Yuu opened the door to find the two Heartslabyul third years. 

"Hello, Yuu," Trey smiled. 

"Hey, bestie!" Cater grinned and pulled Yuu in for a hug. 

"Hey…" Her eyes wandered to their outfits. Both guys were not wearing their dorm or school uniform. Instead, Trey wore his Camp Vargas outfit, and Cater wore his Pop Music Club clothes. "Guys, is there an event going on?" 

"No, silly!" Cater said as he guided Yuu inside. "Though you have to agree that these fits just go with us, right?"

Yuu sweatdropped. She opened her mouth, but Grim's screeching stopped her. 

"YUU, I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE JUST US TODAY!"

Yuu stepped away and pulled Grim into a hug. "Oh, Grim. It will be once these two leave," she glared at Trey and Cater. This was supposed to be a relaxing day—not this.

"It will be very quick, and then you can get back to your show," Trey said, causing Yuu to relax a little. 

"Fine," Yuu sighed. "Spill."

Cater grinned. "If you had to pick who is the most Cammable, out of me or Trey, who would you pick?"

Yuu blinked and tilted her head. "Can you repeat that?"

"Which one of us looks the best," Trey sighed. 

Yuu looked at her friends in confusion. Sure, she had heard weirder things since coming to Twisted Wonderland, but this was something she did not expect to hear. "I mean, you both have your own type of charms. I guess I would pick-"

"Oi," a familiar voice said, widening Trey and Cater's eyes. You can't make the herbivore choose when it is in your favor." Leona smirked as he entered the dorm. He scanned the area like he was hunting prey. "I almost missed the show."

Yuu did not hear Cater and Trey curse under their breaths as she took in what Leona wore. Leona wore the outfit from the Fairy Gala instead of his usual school uniform. He even went all out, from the makeup on his face to flowers decorating his hair. "Is there a fashion show Dad did not tell me about?" Yuu mumbled to herself. Maybe Crewel was too busy handling the guys to tell her?

"Hey, what is with the fancy getup?" Grim's voice broke Yuu's thoughts. The cat monster jumped onto Yuu's arms and glared at the third years. "You are ruining my night."

Leona rolled his eyes. "Look, furball. Herbivore has to pick which one of us she likes, and then we will be out of your way." His eyes flickered up to Yuu's. "Remember who was kind enough to share a room with you"?

"HOLD IT!" Vil yelled, causing Yuu to turn her attention to the newcomers. He strutted into the room with Rook trailing behind. 

"Is there a fashion event going on because why are you guys dressed up?!" Yuu exclaimed. Sure, the Pomefiore guys dressed nicely, but Scalding Sands and Halloween vampire outfits Vil and Rook wore respectively were too much. 

Vil sighed. "I wish, Potato. Then I could show them who is truly the most good-looking of them all." He smirked in the direction of the other third years. 

"Beaute! But a vampire has an allure you cannot resist, no? They are very good-looking." Rook winked at Yuu, causing the others to glare at him. 

Yuu frowned and whispered to Grim. "Good looking? What do you think they are talking about?"

Grim shrugged. "These guys are always spouting nonsense. What's important is our movie night."

"NOO I DON'T WANT TO BE NEAR THOSE PEOPLE!" Idia's voice cried out. The others turned to see said boy being dragged into Ramshackle by Malleus.

"Tsuntarou? What are you doing here? And why are you dressed like you're going to the City of Flowers?" Yuu asked Malleus as he let go of Idia, causing the housewarden to fall with a small "oof." 

Malleus only smiled. "I came here to settle some personal matters. You are one of my most precious friends, Child of Man."

"Great, looks like the star of the show has arrived," Leona said in disdain. 

"Why do you have to be like this?" Vil shook his head disapprovingly.

"Don't forget about me!" Lilia said as he popped out from behind Malleus. Yuu only frowned in confusion. She was used to Ace or Deuce showing up randomly, but seven guys? Something was not adding up. 

"What's with the fancy outfit? Halloween is over." Grim asked Malleus and then turned to Lilia. "How did you get that outfit? I thought that was from the past."

Lilia chuckled and flexed his muscles under his armor. "I have my ways."

The others in the room looked at Grim, confused. 

"Long story," Lilia answered vaguely and turned to Yuu. "But can't you see how cool I look in this? Like a knight in shining armor!"

"No way!" Cater intervened. "Lils is cool, but that fit is so outdated. Yuu, can't you see that Trey and I look the best?"

Yuu glanced at Grim in confusion. "The best?"

Grim eyed the group wearily. "These guys are more koo koo than normal."

"Clearly, you potatoes do not get fashion. I have a very unique taste, no Yuu?" 

"Uhhh…"

"Roi du Poison has excellent taste! Look at how the fabric goes well with his skin," Rook gushed and turned to Trey. "Great fabric choice, Chevalier of Rose!"

Trey chuckled nervously and rubbed the back of his neck. "Let's not talk about me…"

Leona jumped into Yuu's view. "Forget that wannabe. Clearly, I am better than him." Yuu was mesmerized by the fairy dust that followed Leona's movements. Until she was pulled away by someone else. 

"Child of Man, are you alright?" Malleus gently held onto Yuu's arm. 

"I'm just confused about why you all barged in here."

"I understand." Malleus smiled. "Although, would you agree that this outfit suits me?"

Yuu looked over Malleus's outfit before responding, "It does. The other students at the other schools would not stop talking about how mysterious you looked, either. I wonder if Rollo felt the same?"

"Yeah, well, I would rather not see that guy ever again," Idia muttered to himself. Malleus and Yuu turned to him, causing him to look up in shock. "Oh no! I'm caught! I need to get away before I have to socialize with the extroverts."

"Idia."

"EEP!" Idia stopped moving. 

"Why are you wearing that suit? Eliza is not here anymore." 

The others stopped to watch as Idia's hair turned slightly pink, and he struggled to speak. 

"I-uhh…It's for a cosplay convention."

"Yeah, you would never wear that unless-" Grim gasped. "You are getting married!"

Idia's face fell in horror and his hair turned fully pink. "NO!"

"Ohoho. I remember those days."

Everyone turned to the Ramshackle ghosts, watching the group as if it were a drama.

"Yeah, I remember fighting other guys in favor of a girl's hand."

The others froze as Yuu began to connect the dots. Luck was not on their side as the smallest ghost began to speak. 

"I heard from one of the chefs that these boys were arguing about who was the most handsome of them all."

"And you needed a girl like me to pick someone." Yuu finished aloud. A dark aura came out of her, and a vein popped out of her forehead. 

It was at that moment the third years knew they fucked up.

"AND STAY OUT OF MY DORM UNTIL YOU SOLVE YOUR CHILDISH GAME WITHOUT ME!" 

The school could hear the local therapist yell as the third years landed on the ground one by one.

"Ow, that totally is going to bruise later!" Cater whined as he assessed the damages with his phone. 

Trey chuckled from next to the redhead. "At least she did not make us bleed,"

"Who knew the Child of Man could kick so hard?" Malleus said, stunned while gently hovering to the ground. 

"I thought I was back home for a second," Leona said as he rubbed his head. 

"There goes my cute face!" 

"Enough, Lilia." Vil groaned as the bat fae lay on top of him. His hair was definitely a mess now. "Rook, remind me to hire Yuu to do stunts for my next movie."

"Oui. Madame Trickster has good form."

Idia rolled his eyes. "I can't believe you normies let yourselves get kicked out by a girl. That was like an arcade game where you're spamming the A button." He huffed, causing Leona to glare at him. 

"Speak for yourself. You got kicked out as well, Radish Sprout." 

"Monsieurs," Rook stepped towards the group with a gentle smile on his face and his hands up. "We should not focus on how we hurt Madame Trickster. Think about each other. Maybe the important thing was the friendships we made along the way?"

….

…..

"Don't ever say that again, Rook." Trey chuckled awkwardly. 

Vil sighed and shook his head. "I feel like that was something Neige would say," the model felt as like he was going to vomit at the thought. 

"I think I puked inside," Idia visibly cringed.

"Guys, we have important things to worry about, such as Rook's cheesy lines," Cater said. "Who is going to get the apple?"

"Monsieur Magicam has a point, although I have a suggestion," Rook said as the third years watched expectantly. "No one should get the apple since Madame Trickster chose no one."

"I agree. I can feel wrinkles forming on my youthful face." Lilia cried as Vil took out the apple from its box. 

"How do we get rid of it?" Idia eyed the apple suspiciously. If only Ortho were here, then he could shoot it with a laser. 

"I have an idea," Malleus said. He grabbed the apple with one hand, and instantly, the fruit lit up in green flames. "There. All gone." He looked up to see the other third years, minus Lilia, watching with their jaws dropped. Malleus wiped the charred bits off his gloves and turned to the group. "Should we all prepare for later?"

Rollo stood tall and walked through Night Raven College, his student council members trailing behind. As the Noble Bell student council president, it was his job to remain diligent and make a good impression on NRC, even if he had opinions about the institution. A twinkle caught his eye as he made his way down the path to the gates of NRC.

"Where are you going, Rollo?" His vice president asked as Rollo stepped out of the path. 

"I'm just inspecting something. You can go ahead without me," Rollo said until he was in front of the item. There, lying on the ground, was a golden apple that did not have a speck of dirt despite being on the ground. Rollo picked up the apple and inspected it. "Disgusting," he said, sensing the magic embedded in it. Rollo turned the apple to find something written on it. "To the most handsome third year…" the boy muttered. Suddenly, the apple was plucked out of his grasp and was floating in the air. 

Wait a minute.

"Reveal yourself!" Rollo pointed his staff at the apple. 

"Ooo, you caught me~," a voice said with glee. Rollo held his stance as legs magically appeared, followed by a torso and a head. "Long time no see, Rollo."

Rollo clicked his tongue. "It has, Chenya. Now, hand me that apple so I can dispose of it properly."

"Heh, heh, this thing?" Chenya threw the apple in the air like it was a ball. "I think I'm gonna keep it for myself. You know what they say? Cats like shiny things," he said as he began to disappear again. 

"Why you!" Rollo yelled, and his staff glowed. "I'll take it by force then."

"WAIT!" A girlish voice yelled. Neige Leblanche ran into the scene, huffing and puffing. Rollo froze and put his magic away. Meanwhile, Chenya revealed his whole body. 

"Purrfect timing, Neige. I almost got burned to a crisp." Chenya cried in glee. Rollo rolled his eyes. Dramatic much?

Neige ran between the two. "Guys, let's all stop fighting and be friends! We should not create a commotion while visiting another school. Think about friendship and world peace!" 

Chenya and Rollo remained quiet as if processing Neige's speech. Neither reacted until Chenya's infamous Cheshire grin graced his face.

"Nah." His attention turned back to Rollo. "This apple is clearly made for me. Who cannot resist these purrfect looks."

Rollo scoffed and crossed his arms. "A fool, really. Now give me that apple. I need to dispose of it." He lunged forward, but Chenya moved too quickly. The beastman grinned mischivously. 

"You gotta catch me first!” Chenya stuck his tongue out and laughed as his body disappeared again, leaving a floating apple running across campus. 

Rollo gritted his teeth, and his face turned red. "Stop hiding, Chenya!" he yelled, losing all composure as he chased after the Cheshire cat. 

"Guys! Let’s talk about friendship!" Neige exclaimed as he followed Rollo, leaving the Noble Bell vice president, who came to check on Rollo, confused. 

Meanwhile, the NRC third years watched the goose chase pass by them while returning to their dorms. 

"Was Chenya holding the apple Malleus just incinerated?" Cater asked randomly. The others thought for moment before shaking their heads.

"Let's just keep moving," Vil responded. "Before Crowley sends out a search party for us."

Just a typical day at Night Raven College.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twisted Wonderland and its characters. Those belong to Aniplex, Walt Disney Japan, and Yana Toboso.

©: This story belongs to bluesylveon2 2020-24. DO NOT modify, republish, or plagiarize my work.

[velvees-archive]

art cr: @cokiicookies on twitter

Tags: Love Confessions, Bratfeen, Art Student Feenie, Law Student Bratworth, Ace Attorney-typical cringefail, Canon Divergence

and many others!

HEAVILY inspired by @cokiicookies's bratfeen art on twitter! check out the full comic there!!!

"Hey...so...uh..." Phoenix coughs out, voice scratchy from his most recent line repetitions. It's a small mistake, not unsalvageable. All he has to do is stick to the script. Stick to the script. Stick... His eyes flick down to his note cards. He swears he’d printed them in his best penmanship, atop one of the library's extra premium desks, but everything is spinning and he feels faintly like he's going to throw up. "Did you uh," he starts, letters swirling in his eyes. "Did...you fall out of heaven...?" Genius prosecutor-in-training Miles Edgeworth regards him with a blank stare. Phoenix thinks now would be an opportune time for him to locate the nearest possible bridge and promptly jump off of it. - The joys and woes (mostly woes) of being in love, as told by BratFeen.

so i caved and wrote narumitsu. another huge thank you to @cokiicookies on twitter for allowing me to write an accompanying fic for their work. i attached some of the comic here in an attempt to entice you to look at their comic (well? are you enticed?!), but if you wanna see the full thing, please do give their art a like, a retweet, a comment, and all the love on twitter! fic screenshots below:

misc commentary/musings under the cut :)

the way i wrote feenie inner monologue and narration parallels my informal writing style, so writing his freak outs weren't challenging. consciously changing sentence structures/verbiage to be more or less extra, on the other hand, totally was.

the bulk of my pain came from writing fluff in the first place, stumbling through dialogue exchanges (as always), and attempting larry dialogue...all of which i honestly think i failed at pretty badly HAHA. who cares tho? it's my work!

bratfeen is one of my favorite narumitsu "eras" if you will. i've always wanted to write them. i didn't know the opportunity would come so soon (and at my expense considering i still have a zine fic to finalize for a diff fandom), but i took the shot. the full fic was written over the course of a day which i do not recommend anyone experience. i was on a writing hiatus for months and wrote 8k words as soon as i came back. do you see why i burnt out in the first place?

the easiest part about writing bratfeen is that none of the things i write are exaggerated for the purpose of carrying the plot forward. feenie believing that bratworth is better of a human being than everyone makes him out to be? sounds about right. feenie insisting to others that miles is the best thing since grilled cheese? his raging savior complex says that's likely to occur. feenie fumbling the bag because he thinks miles is the prettiest thing he's ever seen? yeah, 20 y/o feenie would! feenie shoving the asshole who talked shit abt miles? we saw the exact same thing with doug swallow (and we all know how that ended...). all of it is in line w his character. also miles being a try hard. that's a given.

i am hoping i can showcase more of my technical skill aka the angst writer in me with my next work, though i've been closely following fictober (haven't been publishing because, again, zine fic obligations) and have plenty of angsty fics stored in my drafts. i hope you enjoy my poor attempt at humor and fluff. may i muster the strength to finish the rest of my zine fic...please...

[bluecollarmcandtf]

My Son Came Home just the Other Day...

...and I just had to tell him how proud I was! My boy had become a strong young man! I'd been bragging to everyone I knew that my son, Private Joel Bishop, had made it through basic training and was on the way home to see his good old dad! I never knew being a father would bring me such joy, but here I am.

I slapped Joel on the back approvingly and discreetly wiped my eye. Things were getting too 'touchy-feely' for my taste, and we still had a whole night of celebration ahead of us.

"That means a lot, dad," he grinned as I pulled away, "but you deserve the credit. Should I grab some cold ones so we can catch up?"

I smiled, enjoying the humility and respect I had instilled in my son's character. He more than deserved the reward I had planned: dinner an expensive steakhouse and a box of premium cigars. I threw a hand on his shoulder and opened my mouth to reveal the surprise!

Instead, the words, "Son I need to introduce you to our new neighbor," came out of my mouth: definitely not what I intended.

That seemed strange. I surely hadn't meant to say that; however, when I thought about it, I did seem to remember something the neighbor had mentioned yesterday. Maybe I had promised to introduce my son to him. It must have been a good idea, if I was suggesting it. I would have to hurry though because our reservation was soon, and I couldn't wait to see the look on Joel's face when he found out what I had planned!

"Uh, sure," Joel answered, waiting for an explanation, "Who is it?"

"He's a great man!" I instantly shouted, feeling overwhelmingly defensive about the newcomer. I wasn't sure why I felt that way because I could barely even remember the guy.

Joel flinched at my sudden outburst, but I brushed it off and led him out the back door. My son followed me through the gate and into the backyard of our next door neighbor. Somehow, I knew I was only supposed to enter from the back door. My hand dug into a nearby planting pot and found a spare key. I'm not exactly sure how I knew that was there, but I shrugged it off and unlocked the door.

Joel didn't question me, but he seemed mildly annoyed. I'm glad he didn't ask what I was doing because I had no clue! My body marched on autopilot down a short hallway and parked in the middle of a living room. Our neighbor seemed to be busy napping on his couch. My cheeks flushed when I realized I had just walked in on the man sleeping.

"Excuse me sir," my voice suddenly rang out loudly, "My son Joel is back from the army."

Joel glared at me in confusion, "Dad what-"

"Shut it, kid," the man on the couch snapped awake and stretched, "Come stand quietly in front of me so I can get a good look at you."

Joel's mouth shut tight at the man's request. He marched up to our neighbor and stood at attention. There was something strangely automatic about his movements, like they were choreographed ahead of time. I suppose this is just how they learn to act in the army.

"Hmm, yes," the neighbor purred from the couch, "You're sexier than your dad described."

My jaw clenched and my fists tightened! Why the hell was this guy making those kinds of comments about my son! I had never spoken with this weirdo, and I had certainly never described my son in that way!

If this guy wasn't careful, he was going to get a fight! I would of course stand and wait like a dumb bitch until I was dismissed, but once I was, I'd let him know! For now, I'll just try and contain myself.

"Why so red-faced," he turned a haughty look to me, "You remember our conversation yesterday, right Mr. Bitch?"

Suddenly, my memory flooded back. Of course I remembered! I'd popped by our new neighbor's house to introduce myself. He had invited me in and we'd gotten talking. I had bragged about how my parenting had yielded the perfect son. Our neighbor had then launched into a long and boring lecture.

My neighbor pointed out that I'd been pronouncing my surname wrong all these years! I'm a total idiot! It's 'Bitch' not 'Bishop!' He'd also changed my plans on how to celebrate my son's homecoming.

"Of, course I remember," I gasped dumbly as it all flooded back, "Sorry, sir. As you know, I can be a bit of a dumb bitch."

"Everyone knows that, old man. Do you even remember what you have to do whenever you enter my house?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, sir," I replied as the instructions came back to me, "I am to go to the bathroom, stick my head in the toilet, and flush it seven times."

"That's it! And don't forget to keep your mouth open when it flushes, you old fart" he cracked up and laughed at me.

I nodded and left my son with our new neighbor, reporting to the bathroom like I was supposed to. Sticking my face in his skid marked toilet was the worst part about coming over. How could I have forgotten something like that? Without hesitating, I dropped to the floor and dipped below the toilet water, keeping my jaw locked open like he had suggested. I blindly found the handle and flushed the first wave over my head.

"All done, sir!" I called loudly, feeling compelled to announce my achievement.

Everything above my neck has been thoroughly soaked by the swirly, and it was quickly dripping down my clothes. My favorite shirt was now drenched! I wanted badly to dry off with the towel nearby, but I somehow knew that I was supposed to leave the toilet water on me instead.

Trudging back into the living room, I tried to prevent puddles by soaking the dripping water into my clothes, but it didn't work very well.

"Joel? What are you doing, son?" I blurted when I found him on his hands and knees.

Joel gazed up at me with a bizarre look on his face. It was as if he didn't even understand what he was doing down on the floor. His eyes seemed unfocused, like they weren't really seeing what was going on around him.

Nevertheless, he glanced over his shoulder at our new neighbor. It was like he was looking for guidance. My eyes followed his and we both found ourselves looking to the stranger for what to do next.

"Go on, boy," our neighbor chided, "Tell Mr. Bitch how you feel."

"Please," I straightened up, "Just call me Bitch. We're all friends here." I didn't care if a puddle was pooling at my feet. My son clearly had something important to say to me.

"Ok, Daddy," Joel blankly answered the guy on the couch. Then he turned an empty gaze to me, "Bitch, I'm moving out of your house. I want to live with our new neighbor. I want to be his slave boy and serve him any way I can."

I felt compelled to agree. I almost told him I was happy for him, but something felt off. Something had been gnawing at the back of my head ever since my son had gotten home. This wasn't how our night was supposed to go. My son and I were supposed to be enjoying steaks and cigars right now!

I shook my head a little. Beads of water flew from my hair, and I couldn't shake how wrong I had been acting. Why had I just given myself a swirly? And why was my son making such delusional statements?

"Woah, there big guy," our creepy next door neighbor hushed, "You're thinking too hard. You remember what you like to do when you think too hard right, Bitch?"

I breathed a sigh of relief out of my chest my chest when I remembered, "Yes, sir. I like to shove your leftovers down my pants when I'm thinking to hard."

Without another thought, I strolled into the kitchen and yanked the fridge open with a numb arm. A euphoric sense of relaxation washed over me when I saw a container of leftover spaghetti. Before I knew what I was doing, my hands had popped the lid off and fished the noodles and red sauce down the inside of my dress slacks. Once the container was empty, I zipped up my pants like nothing had happened and returned to the living room.

"Feeling better, Bitch?" my neighbor asked.

My glassy eyes noticed my son crouched by the feet of our neighbor. Joel was busy cleaning the guy's shoes, and I couldn't be more happy. So what if this is what he wanted to do with his life? He could become our neighbor's sex slave for all I cared. It's not like I cared about the kid. If he really had a chance to serve a man as great as our neighbor, then who cares about serving our country!

"Yeaah..." I moaned lightly.

"You like my homemade spaghetti?" the neighbor chuckled meanly.

"Yeeaaah..." my voice came out drawn, "It feels really cold..."

"Man, you are a gross bitch, but I programmed you to fall deeper every time you humiliate yourself for me. Do you what I'm going to have you do next?"

"Nooo..."

"You're going to make your reservation at that restaurant," he looked me up and down, "And you'll go in those clothes you've soiled. Get drunk off your ass, alright Bitch? I want you to make a complete fool out of yourself."

I'd already turned to follow his orders when he turned back to my son, "I'm gonna play with little soldier boy here. Maybe I'll pass him around to my buddies so they can give him a try..."

I didn't hear what else was in store for Joel. I wasn't too bothered by my son. I'm sure he'd be able to make our neighbor happy. I was just excited to go to the steak house and start humiliating myself...