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anothermaletfwriter · 2 days ago

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Invigorated Waters

(Long story ahead)

This vacation was supposed to fix their relationship, if only Jacob (on the left) had been more specific with his wish.

Jacob had planned out this trip with his long-time boyfriend, Adam. They had met on their sophomore year of college and were now both 35 years old. While the early times were sweet, Jacob found it difficult to maintain the same love he once held for over a decade. He had initially attributed it to their relationship stabilizing and becoming stable before he realized that it was physical attraction as well. Neither of them were as physically fit as they were back in college. They even admitted they hadn’t had good sex in years. Jacob felt even more guilty of his dying love especially after he accidentally spoiled himself of a planned engagement in the upcoming month on Adam’s phone.

After many nights researching how to revive a dead bedroom and ignoring the numerous suggestions, though most were demanding enough to be orders, of breaking up, he scheduled a two week long trip in the Palawan province of the tropical country of Philippines. It was an ideal place to resurrect his love. The warm weather would soothe any tensions and the novel experience a new country could spontaneously reignite his love for soon-to-be SO. He had planned out the entire itinerary: staying at the most expensive luxury hotel, island hopping via the boat tour, eating at local restaurants and exploring other tourist destinations. The costs of love necromancy slammed his savings he built up as a digital marketer.

Most of the vacation passed and it was days till they had to get to the airport and fly back home to the states. Jacob found himself somehow drifting even further apart from Adam. His passion was still dead. It wasn’t fixed by the countless colorful corals they snorkeled through, the sweetness of their halo-halos, the countless Filipino ballads playing throughout the whole beach town or even the cute tropical locally-made souvenirs he bought for Adam. He even downloaded Grindr for a week to find a 3rd but not even a third person could spice up the bedroom. His intrusive thoughts of sleeping other men only became more rampant.

The night after an uneventful day of scuba diving and street stall dining of fishballs and taho, Jacob stayed up to feel Adam’s warm hairy chest just for a slight chance of him rediscovering what made him fall in love with him in the first place but it was no use. It was a history of their touches and he felt the end was near. At this rate, he didn’t know what to do. Break up and re-do their entire lives separately? Or suppress his dead love pass the engagement and then the wedding and be miserable underneath to keep Adam happy? Maybe his façade would shatter during their marriage and a divorce would follow. His thoughts swirled around like a typhoon, wrecking his visions of an ending love life. The white noise of an inevitable disaster surrounded his ears, pushing him deeper into their waves until his phone dinged.

Jacob stared at the brightly notified phone with his tired eyes and read a Telegram message.

“I can help with your boyfriend problems,” It was sent by an unknown number.

“I don’t have a lot of money left. I spent it all on this vacation.”

“Don’t worry it’s free. Meet me outside your hotel lobby in 10 minutes.”

Jacob hesitated to respond. His gut told him against the offer. At best, it was a prank text and at worst, he didn’t want to imagine the worst. But he needed to do anything to bring back his love life so he reluctantly messaged, “Okay, I will. See you there.”

Before he went down to the lobby, he held Adam tightly and gave him a kiss on the lips. Despite him being a heavy sleeper, the kiss caused a smile to form. His sneakers shuffled on the brightly clean ceramic floors before they crunched on the gravel path out. The honks and roars of the jeepneys and clinks of other people’s flipflops collided in the warm humid air. An overhead purple mosquito zapper beeped, a few sparks coming out of it.

An attractive Filipino man, presumably in his early 20s, who wore a grey cap and a blue muscle tee that revealed his defined arms, approached him. Introducing himself as Joshua, he revealed he was the one texting him as he himself was an Engkanto, a human being with magical powers. He went on to list the many tourists relationships he had solved, and mentioned that problems like of Jacob and Adam were his bread and butter.

Jacob felt uneasy as the young man spoke to him. There was nothing off about his appearance, in fact he envied his physique as it reminded him of a younger, prime version of himself. There was an unexplainable chill and pang of distrust that rang through his bones yet he felt compelled to go with him.

He followed Joshua through the forest on the way to a hut, where he would perform the love ritual that was said to bring back any love, even if one of the partners was dead. Jacob’s heart fastened worriedly as he delved deeper into the jungle, damp grass brushing past his lower eggs and piercing through the eerie silence of the dark greenery. The small hut was made of bamboo, elevated a few feet off the ground. Jacob walked up the stairs, hearing Joshua shuffle through his pocket. The interior was dimly lit, with a purple candle in the middle, with nothing else. No sacred symbols or sacrificial totems or skulls.

Joshua motioned him to sit down, across from the candle. Jacob sat on the cold rickety floor.

Joshua followed after him, sitting opposite. He took out a small black canister from his pocket and opened it, scooping some of the purple goo. From the dim light, it resembled candle wax but of a thicker and more transparent consistency.

“This will bring back your love for your boyfriend,” Joshua said, his voice calm and deep. He brushed a generous amount on Jacob’s forearm, “Adam right?”

“Yeah his name is Adam,” Jacob didn’t even dare to ask him any rational questions, like how he figured his relationship problem all out or how he got his number. He chalked it up to Filipino magic. The goo felt warm on his forehead. He began to feel tired, though he was sure it was due to how late at night he was staying up, “How does it work?” He yawned.

“Some magical spirit energy stuff, it’s too hard to explain to normal humans,” Joshua brushed the goo on his own forehead as well, an evil grin that stretched past what a normal human could emote escaping through. It was last sight Jacob remembered before he fell asleep. There were no dreams of reuniting with Adam along the beach that represented his renewed love or flashbacks to his first date at the college town’s Waffle House, just darkness in his sleep.

Jacob woke up with an intense energy next morning. But his bedroom was different. He knew from the bright green walls and sturdy fan swaying that he was not at the luxury hotel with expensive AC and gigantic windows that overlooked the forest but at a house. He reached to grab to his side but Adam wasn’t there.

“Holy shit,” He exclaimed to himself, hearing his new voice and Filipino accent. He felt up and down his face, free from any facial hair and his Adam’s apple poking out more. He looked down on his stomach, differing from the white and flabby belly, it was smooth, tan and shredded with his abs. He glazed his soft hand across the crevices between his abs before he squeezed his bigger chest. He stroked his arms, admiring the craftsmanship of his biceps. He opened the phone camera, as muscle memory let him unlock it. His hair was short and jet black, face slimmer and youthful. It was real. He had swapped bodies with Joshua!

Jacob messaged him frantically, “Dude, give me back my fucking body.”

An instant response followed, like Joshua had been expecting it, “Relax. I’ll give it back once I fix your body’s love. It will take some time. While you wait, have fun in my body. I’ll let you know when we can swap back.”

Son of a bitch. Jacob searched his short’s pockets and found the container from last night, it felt lighter but he shook it, hearing the weird liquid droopy noises. He still had the swapping purple goo, ready to use to swap them to normal again, whether Joshua wanted to or not, “You better swap us back before we have to leave tomorrow.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll hear back before sunset. Just enjoy yourself and your new body, I worked hard in building it :)”

Jacob shut off the phone and rubbed his hands on his forehead out of frustrations. Part of him believe he had been tricked but the optimistic portion of him expected a fixed relationship before he went to bed that night. He thought of how badly he was missing his boyfriend, planning not to sleep with anyone as he didn’t want to betray Adam.

He got off the bed and stood on the floor, realizing the world was shorter than he remembered in his old body. He was the only inhabitant of the house, hearing no one else except TFC on the large TV in the living room. More memories of the body permeated through his mind, as his hands and brains coordinated together through the fridge and cabinets to cook a typical Filipino breakfast of garlic fried rice, bangus, cherry tomatoes and tortang talong. The tangy savory flavors meshed well in his new tongue. Jacob hoped that when he returned to his original body, he would remember how to cook the Filipino food. While cleaning the dishes, his phone dinged.

Heart pounding from anxiety, he opened to Telegram. But he was disappointed that it was someone else. Jacob was surprised as he was able to understand the Tagalog frequently. The text came from Tomas, a 35 year old, also a local like Joshua, and one of his fuck buddies.

“Handa ka na ba para sa aming pre workout session?” (Are you ready for our pre workout session?)

Jacob was quick to nearly decline the message but before his smooth fingers could hit send, a surge of lust overpowered his body. More memories of Joshua started to infiltrate and even replace some of his own. Jacob was unable to recall the first few moments of relationship, not even during their college years. He was losing himself to the Joshua’s consciousness. Why wouldn’t he accept the offer? He was young and he had a terrific body that anybody would kill to have, let alone have sex with. That’s why he was popular in not only Grindr but on OnlyFans as well. Local neighbors to travelers from across the country and even internationally were common visitors to his bedroom. But that was Joshua, not Jacob. He was still Jacob, even if he wasn’t in his original body, unfortunately that didn’t matter as his fingers deleted the declining message and sent a thumbs-up emoji.

His fears of assimilation quickly dissipated when Tomas arrived at his front door for their ‘session’. He was a paler muscle daddy Tito that worked from home as an accountant, taking frequent breaks at work. Joshua-Jacob closed the door as he led him to his bedroom like it was a weekly routine. Quick to strip down, Joshua-Jacob ripped off his black shorts and underwear, unleashing the monster between his legs. He stroked it frantically before Tomas stopped any premature actions.

Tomas’ mature yet energetic face stared seductively at Joshua's eyes, stroking his tender jawline and playing with his straight black hair. Tomas whispered to him, smirking as he took off his clothes, down to his tight red thong that barely covered his older bubble butt, “Huwag sayangin ang iyong enerhiya” (Don’t waste your energy yet)

At first, Jacob returned to consciousness. He was a total sub bottom as the last time he recalled topping was before his first hookup with Adam. Now this body was a prime example of a dom top. With each thrust, more of Joshua returned back to form, getting more prominent. Joshua held on the older man’s wide muscular waist as he clapped his firm cheeks vigorously, causing the both of them to moan loudly, after all, their noises were drowned out by the vehicles on the road outside. Sweat dripped down from his pecs to his six pack and eventually to his double digit inch cock, shaved perfectly. A shot of dopamine hit through his system as he finished inside of the older man. His legs shook as he continued on for a second round on the hot piece of meat that posed in front of him, finally stopping after a few more minutes.

Tomas laid ass up on his bed with Joshua’s seed leaking from his looser hole. He caught his breath, sweating, “Wow, iyon ay mas kamangha-mangha kaysa sa karaniwan mong ginagawa.” (Wow that was more amazing than you usually do)

Joshua continued to flex his body for his cocky ego. He had the physique and libido e of a young God. Without thinking, words left his mouth, “Mas may energy ako ngayon.” (I have more energy today)

After they cleaned up, they went to the gym together, where Joshua snuck in a quick blowjob after doing a chest day that would have ended him in his original body. Once their pumps wore off and it was time for Tomas to go back to work, they went off separately for the rest of the day.

Joshua, whose heart and dick couldn’t stop pounding from the new lingering memories of pounding the bubble butt of the muscle daddy, sat on the beach shirtless, hoping to catch a few waves and perhaps a few more dudes. He relaxed as the sun reflected off his tan skin. He could get used to this carefree lifestyle, no worries about monogamy or the sorts. That was Joshua, though. Jacob yearned for the intimate warm touches that Adam used to give him, even if all he now remembered of him was of the past month. Time was running out.

Joshua-Jacob frantically spammed Jacob-Joshua, berating him for not telling him about the memory destruction result from body swapping. There was not even a left on read message. He must be having plenty of fun with Adam. His fears of not making it back to his old lifestyle and body vanished as a wave of libido and energy devoured him yet again. The once suppressed guilty desire of fucking other men other than his boyfriend conquered him again. Joshua's spirit took over again.

Joshua-Jacob began the rest of the day on Grindr, with the goals of finding more hookups and parties. It was a wonderful experience, fucking so many different men, from on a boat to a secluded spot on the beach and even in the hotels near the one he was staying in originally. He never tired out, often going for multiple rounds like he did with Tomas, with no need for breaks except for water. The men lusted him for his physique, youthful endurance and the powerful thrusts he made with his member and hips. Many of them hoping to see him again and continued to message him on social media.

Joshua finally rested at a bar. He had finished his American cheese burger and a healthy kale salad. His seat faced the ocean. The sun was orange, its rays glimmering on his glamorous muscles and on his deep dark brown eyes. He found it hard to imagine a life other than one of hedonism and freedom until his phone rang, revealing it was 6:00 pm.

Shit, it was sunset. There was a notification. Not from Telegram. It was Grindr. It was from the couple looking for a 3rd account. Thank fucking God.

“Free rn?” The account, likely Joshua, the imposter Jacob, in charge, messaged.

The real Jacob felt himself come back as he replied with a “Yes”. Memories of Adam and their entire relationship together returned, back to the beginning of when they ate undercooked chocolate cheesecake pancakes and had food poisoning the rest of their first date night. He realized that by not being with Adam, he had an affinity that he truly cared and loved him. It followed the old saying of not knowing what really matters until it’s gone. He was so close to getting home and being back with his loving boyfriend.

The account responded with a simple Thumbs-up. It was all Jacob needed as he ran to the hotel, careful to dodge other pedestrians and the rampant tricycles that carried the other tourists and their luggage. The hotel door was unlocked and the room was dark as Jacob entered. He could see Joshua and Adam were sitting on their bed naked.

Jacob introduced himself as ‘Joshua’ to the both of them, taking notable excitement in Adam. Without much speaking, likely from Adam’s awareness of the language barrier, they fucked. Despite Jacob’s attempts of meshing in between them, he was always pushed aside by both of them, always topping but never in the middle. Despite not bottoming as Jacob usually did with his boyfriend, the sex between them was spectacular, as he filled them up with bucket loads of his semen. His kisses with him were the most passionate he ever did in his life. He thrusted with soul and love into him. By the time that Adam fell asleep, the part of the bed they were doing it was soaked in their liquids intermixed with each other.

“Alright,” Jacob panted, sweat covering his glorious body, speaking to his former face, “Let’s swap back, now. I feel it again, thank you.”

Joshua shook his head, “Nope, thank you for giving me your wonderful life and your even better boyfriend. I can’t believe you gave all of it up,” The same grin he had recalled the night before now appeared on his face and mouth. He felt as if a demon possessed his body and was mocking him, it probably was at this point.

“You’re giving me back my body, my life and my boyfriend,” Jacob shouted, looming over his former body.

Joshua looked unimpressed with his threats, yawning slightly, “You should have known better than to trust an Engkanto, let alone of the trickster type,” He simply lied down on the bed and pretended to sleep, cuddling with Adam, in a cruel way of mocking Jacob.

Jacob thought fast, remembering the jar of purple goo in his pocket. He reached out and opened it to find nothing. Scooped empty. Entirely clean like it was never there. Despite his failure, he grabbed his body by the arm, which was lightwork due to his younger and powerful strength, “Swap us, now,” He demanded with rage in his smaller pupils.

Jacob was met with the torment of his own laugh cackling at him, with a deep undertone that caused shivers, like his original body was being corrupted, "You think you were clever thinking you could use the purple jelly against me?”

“But I shook it around earlier and I heard it. I didn’t lose or misplace it in between now and then” Jacob's skin grew bumpy from the goosebumps. He felt like he was in a nightmare, his stomach turning on itself as his old face morphed.

“Don’t forget I’m a trickster.” His grin grew unnaturally big, like his mouth was too big on his own face. “I like the attempt though, you really want to swap back. But I did notice how much fun you had in my body. I think even more than I did with your own body and your awesome boyfriend!”

“I just want to be back in my own body and be back with Adam. Nothing more! I want my life back, Joshua!!" Jacob screamed, hoping it would wake Adam up, but he didn’t.

“Joshua? I think you hit your head or something cause that’s your name, not mine. I’m Jacob,” His body taunted before he started to mutter an ancient language. Some remnants of it sounded Tagalog but the others sounded ancient, it was not human in origin.

“W-what, no. Don’t lie to me, Joshua, Jac—“ Jacob stopped speaking as he felt his own self merging with Joshua’s body. He looked at his own Jacob's face. He felt increasingly dizzy, as Jacob helped sit him down, who explained that he had fucked a bit too hard for his own good. Despite how hard he tried to shun him out, Joshua-Jacob’s post-college years of working in the field of marketing in America mutated into times living between popular touristy areas in the Philippines, only able to afford them from his OnlyFans income and sugar daddy money. His own personality and thoughts replaced by that of Joshua, as the familiar shock of testosterone and libido electrified his body. It caused Joshua to get a hard on and passionately kiss Jacob.

Jacob offered no resistance, allowing Joshua to feel every spot on his body with his tongue. It didn’t take long for Jacob to get onto his position with his jiggling white ass up in the air. Joshua slid in with ease, relentlessly hitting his prostate and causing the both of them to finish within minutes. In the release of his semen, the remnants of Jacob’s consciousness and personality drained out of his body. The transformation was complete. Joshua finished, collapsing on the soft mattress on his back, his bulky chest rising up and down. Jacob was generous enough to hand him a water bottle from America.

“Thank you, Kuya Jacob,” Joshua said as he gulped down his water, spilling some onto his abs and then using a clean towel to dry it up, “You guys are leaving for America tomorrow morning?”

Jacob nodded, as his supernatural grin turned into a generous smile. “Yeah. Don’t worry. I’ll let you know the next time we vacation here.”

Joshua whispered as he put on his shorts and black jersey, “Congrats on your future engagement. You two would make amazing husbands. You’re always welcome here in the Philippines!” He smiled.

“You’re a good young guy. Get home safe,” said Jacob, waving goodbye as he cuddled with Adam.

Joshua left the hotel with hope for the next day, with many collaborations and hookups he was going to perform that day as part of his typical life. The notion of finding a guy and settling down was foreign and too weird to him. Why should he only stay with one guy when he had such an irresistible and young body? He was young and he needed to enjoy that and pleasure himself.

#male body swap #body swap #racial swap #whitetoasian #asiantowhite #bodyswap #male body switch #mental change #reality change #bottomtotop

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stylesispunk · 20 hours ago

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"Blind Faith" | part i

Priest!Joel Miller x nightclub dancer!reader

masterlist | next chapter

summary: Running away from your home, you found a small town to stay. Once there, you met people and the priest, Joel.

wc: 5,2 k

warnings: age gap (Joel is in his late 40s, reader in his last 20s), religious conflict, a crisis of faith, temptation, forbidden attraction, forbidden romance, eventual smut, social expectations, nightlife themes, the contrast between joel's and your world, protests, mentions of exile, mention of politics. For clarification, reader is Latina on this one.

a/n: Hello. I wanted this story to be something beyond a forbidden romance between two people, after reading books and watching things I wanted to recall that reader's background comes from her being an activist. I want to approach all the topics with all due respect and I hope you do too, nevertheless, those are not going to be the main center of the story.

Happy reading and please tell me what are your thoughts about this one.

You had built a life most people only dreamed of. A life filled with passion, purpose, and the kind of joy that comes from doing what you love. You were surrounded by friends who understood you, a family you cherished with every fiber of your being, and a career that made waking up every morning feel like stepping into a dream.

You had studied dance at university, dedicating years to perfecting your craft until movement became your language, your art, your very identity. But you didn’t see yourself just as an artist, you were educated. You had spent your life asking questions, seeking answers, and standing for what was right. Politics fascinated you, not as a distant game played by men in suits, but as something alive, something that shaped the world around you. You were drawn to justice, to fairness, to the fight for those whose voices were drowned out by oppression.

Protests became as much a part of your life as well as performances. You had stood in the streets, chanting until your voice was hoarse, raising signs, raising awareness, raising hell when it was necessary. You believed in change, in the power of people united. But belief alone was never enough to stop what came next.

The illusion of safety shattered the moment power fell into the wrong hands. The men who took control of your country did not tolerate opposition. They did not welcome free thought or voices that questioned their authority. People like you, the educated, the artists, the teachers, all who had seek justice, were dangerous but because you couldn’t be controlled. Because you saw through their lies.

You remember the night your world collapsed. The hurried whispers in the dark. The fear in your mother’s eyes. The way your brother’s hands shook as he cut your hair, disguising you in a desperate attempt to buy you time.

He drove you to the airport as your heart pounded, then, you boarded that plane, leaving behind everything you had ever known. Your home. Your family. The life you had built.

And that is why you ended up here, in a bus driving to a foreign city located in California. The bus rattled as it rolled into town, the low hum of the engine filling the silence of the nearly empty cabin. You sat near the window, watching the Californian sun stretch across the dry fields, golden and endless, nothing like the dense, humid air of home.

Home.

The word sat heavy in your chest, a place you could no longer name without feeling the weight of exile pressing against your ribs.

This town was small, quieter than you expected, but that was good. You needed a quiet, a place to disappear, to become no one, to not be recognized. You stepped off the bus with only a battered leather suitcase and a name written on a slip of paper.

The paradise, a nightclub where a friend of a friend had said you might find work.

You pulled your coat tighter around you, though the air was warm. You must have learned to move carefully, to keep your eyes down, to not be recognized. But you couldn't help glancing up at the church as you stepped off the bus.

That’s when you saw him.

He was standing on the steps, speaking to a woman holding a little baby in her arms. There was, a priest, dressed in black, with tired eyes and a kindness in the way he bent his head to listen. He looked up, meeting your gaze for the first, just for a fleeting second. Then, his gaze left your eyes, leaving you with a weird feeling, warmth rising up to your cheeks.

You pulled the slip of paper from your pocket, staring at the name scrawled in fading ink staring at the name scrawled in fading ink. The paradise.

When you lifted your gaze again, the priest wasn't there anymore.

You sighed and adjusted the trap of your suitcase over your shoulder, feeling anxious creeping upon your skin as you try to picture your life in a foreign place.

You looked towards the church in the front of the street, where the priest had stood minutes before, perhaps trying to look and answer to your questions. You weren't a religious person, but you did believe in calls, and you felt the pulling thread forcing you to walk towards the church, as if something were calling you, perhaps someone.

Your feet found their way to the old church at the edge of town, its stone walls worn and cracked from years of standing against the wind. It loomed tall and hollow, the kind of place that had seen more sorrow than joy. You hesitated at the entrance, your heart beating faster than you liked.

Why am I even here? you thought. But the pull wouldn’t let you turn away.

You stepped inside.

The stained glass cast soft, fractured colors onto the worn wooden pews, painting the empty space in hues of crimson, gold, and deep blue. The scent of burning wax and old books filled your senses, grounding you in a place that felt both foreign and strangely familiar.

Your footsteps echoed as you moved deeper inside, the vast silence of the church swallowing every sound. You weren’t sure what you were looking for, an answer, a sign, something to tell you that coming here wasn’t a mistake.

The priest where nowhere to be found, so you took seat in one of the wooden benches, perhaps waiting, perhaps resting.

You got yourself comfortable, the sleep catching upon you. Your body felt heavy, exhaustion creeping into your bones the moment you allowed yourself to rest. The weight of the suitcase by your side, the long journey that had brought you here, it all pressed down on you at once. The church, with its quiet stillness, felt like the safest place you’d been in weeks.

That was where Joel Miller found you.

On a quiet evening when the chapel was empty, save for the flickering candlelight and the faint scent of incense clinging to the air. You were curled up on one of the wooden pews, arms folded beneath your head, chest rising and falling in the steady rhythm of sleep.

He cleared his throat, but you didn’t stir. He hesitated before reaching out, tapping your shoulder. “Miss?” His voice came softer than he expected. “You can’t sleep here.”

"Father, do you always wake up strangers like this?"

Your voice was thick with sleep, eyes blinking against the dim glow of the chapel’s candlelight. The air smelled of old wood, wax, and something faintly metallic, like rain on stone. You looked young like this, your face soft, but Joel knew better. You shouldn't be older than thirty.

"You can’t sleep here," he repeated.

You smirked, rubbing your eyes. "Didn’t know God kicked people out."

Joel exhaled sharply. The world outside was changing, rock ‘n’ roll, free love, protests, women in miniskirts. But in this town, in this chapel, things were supposed to stay the same.

This town hadn’t met those changes.

Joel stood over you, stiff-backed, his fingers still hovering near your shoulder from where he’d tapped you awake. He shouldn’t have noticed the way your legs stretched across the pew, the way your blouse, too low-cut for a place like this, shifted as you moved, leaving no place to imagination.

Joel exhaled sharply. Lord, give me patience.

"This isn’t a shelter," he said. "If you need a place—"

"I'm not homeless" Your tone was firm and final, as if you were done, but there was something else in your voice too, something he couldn’t quite place, but it hinted sadness. "I just got into town," you admitted after a beat, glancing toward the stained-glass windows, dark now with the night. "Didn’t know where else to go. At least not tonight."

Joel studied you, his chest tightening."Are you in trouble?"

A small, humorless laugh left you. "Depends on what you call trouble."

Silence filled the chapel, thick and unmoving. The rain had stopped, leaving only the distant hum of the highway beyond the hills.

"You shouldn’t be here," he said finally. But his voice had lost its authority, had softened just enough that he felt the weight of it settle in his own bones.

“Why?” You asked

Joel exhaled slowly, shifting on his feet. He looked down at you, his expression unreadable, but there was something in the way his jaw tensed, something he was holding back.

"You can’t stay here," he said again, voice firm but not unkind.

You sat up properly this time, stretching your legs out in front of you, your boots scraping against the floor. His eyes flicked to them, brief, barely noticeable, you caught it, but you chose not to say anything.

"Didn’t mean to cause a problem," you said, rubbing the sleep from your eyes.

"You’re not a problem," he said, then hesitated. "But this isn’t a place for…"

You arched a brow. “For what? For a woman like me?”

For someone wearing boots and a blouse that clung a little too tight, a skirt that rode too high when you stretched out.

He didn’t utter that the sentence. Instead, he sighed, raking a hand through his hair.

"Where you planning on staying tonight?" he asked.

You let out a quiet laugh, shaking your head. "Haven’t figured that part out yet."

Joel frowned. "You got family here?"

"No father, I don’t."

"Friends?"

"No."

His gaze flickered, something unreadable passing through it. So, you’re alone.

You weren’t sure if that unsettled him or if it was something else.

He shifted again, exhaling through his nose like he was about to say something he’d regret.

"There’s a place near the church," he finally said. "A small guesthouse. Church used to use it for traveling pastors, but it’s empty now. You can stay there tonight."

You studied him. "Why?"

His brow furrowed. "What do you mean, why?"

"I mean, why help me? You don’t know me."

Joel was silent for a long moment. When he spoke, his voice was quieter. "That doesn’t mean I should turn you away."

You held his gaze, searching for something in it—hesitation, reluctance. But there was only conviction.

And yet you could feel something else there, buried beneath all that righteousness behind his clothes.

Something you hadn’t named yet.

"Alright, Father," you said finally, standing up. "Lead the way."

He hesitated, just for a second. Then, he turned, stepping toward the chapel doors, and you followed.

Back at his house behind the church, Joel lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling. The wooden beams above cast long shadows in the dim glow of the lamp beside his bed. He should’ve been sleeping, his body was tired enough for I, but his mind refused to settle. It was noisier than ever.

His thoughts kept drifting back to something else, to you. To the way you’d looked at him when you stood up from that pew, like you already knew he wasn’t as correct as he pretended to be.

To your voice, husky with sleep, the way you stretched without a care in the world. To your legs.

Joel shut his eyes. Lord, give me strength.

It had been a passing glance, barely a flicker of a thought, but now it gnawed at him.

He had seen a lot of things in his years as a priest. A lot of people in need, a lot of wandering souls. But he wasn’t blind. He could recognize beauty when it was right in front of him. And tonight, for the first time in a long time, it wasn’t just his faith speaking.

It was something else. It felt dangerous.

He turned onto his side, sighing through his nose. This was just another test. He’d seen men struggle with temptation, had guided them through it. This was no different.

You were just a woman in need. That’s all. That’s all.

And yet, sleep never came easy that night.

The early sun cast long golden beams through the chapel windows as Joel made his way to the guesthouse. He carried a small plate of toast and eggs, as a gesture of hospitality. He thought about last night, on how he hadn’t offered food or a cup of tea.

He wanted to show kindness, but the second he stepped inside, he knew.

The bed was made, the blanket neatly folded. No sign of anyone.

And on the small wooden table by the window, a note.

Joel set the plate down and picked it up, his fingers tightening around the paper.

"Thank you for your help, Father."

That was it. No name, no explanation. Just a quiet departure, as if you’d never been there at all.

Joel exhaled slowly, staring at the empty room.

Something settled deep in his chest, something that felt too much like disappointment.

He was afraid of the fleeting feelings coming to him. Because last night, he’d told himself you were just passing through. But now, standing here, he wasn’t sure he believed it.

You were strong and brave enough this day. When you found yourself in the front of the paradise, the neon light flickered weakly in the daylight, music pulsed behind the doors, muffled but steady, a heartbeat beneath the night.

You inhale deeply, pushing the door behind.

The club smelled of sweat, perfume, and cigarette smoke. It wasn’t alive as you expected to be during the day, but there were men in tight pants, women in flowing skirts, people who existed somewhere in between, all shining under the low, colored lights of the place.

This wasn’t the kind of stage you were used to. But it was something.

Behind the bar, a broad-shouldered man with a neatly trimmed beard was pouring whiskey into a glass, his gold rings catching the light. He spotted you instantly, eyes narrowing slightly before softening.

“You must be the new girl,” he said, voice thick with an accent she couldn’t place.

You hesitated for a moment, but then you nodded.

The man wiped his hands on a towel, then leaned over the counter, studying you.

“You dance?” He asked.

You lifted your chin. “Yes.”

He smirked. “We’ll see about that.”

A warm hand touched your back.

Your turned to find a woman at your side, tall, dark-skinned, with a shimmering dress that clung to her curves. Her lipstick was deep red, her eyes lined in black.

“Come on, cariño,” the woman purred. “Let’s get you ready.”

You swallowed, but you followed her backstage.

Backstage was a blur of colors, perfume, and laughter. The other dancers moved around you effortlessly, adjusting their costumes, fixing their makeup, teasing each other in rapid-fire whispers. You stood still, taking it all in. People here were wild, free and beautiful, and you smiled at that.

The woman who had led you back, Carmen, handed you a black slip dress. It was simple, barely more than a tiny thing of fabric, with thin straps that draped off your shoulders.

“You need shoes?” Carmen asked, watching as you slipped it over your head.

You shook your head “I’ll dance barefoot.”

Carmen raised a perfectly sculpted brow but didn’t argue. “Suit yourself.”

The music outside shifted, growing louder. Your stomach tightened.

You had danced for crowds a thousand times before, but never like this. This wasn’t a stage with velvet curtains, with polished floors and orchestrated movements. This was something raw and new for you, something meant to be felt rather than admired.

You exhaled slowly.

You’ve already lost everything. What’s left to be afraid of?

A hand touched your shoulder. She turned to find Carmen smiling. “You’re up next, estrella.”

The lights were dim when you stepped onto the small, elevated platform.

The club wasn’t packed, but there were enough people to make the air thick with murmurs and expectation. A few heads turned, eyes gliding over you as you took your place.

You closed your eyes.

The music started, a slow, sultry rhythm, deep bass vibrating through your bones.

And then you moved. At first, it was instinct. The slow bend of your knees, the gentle sway of your hips. You let the music guide you, feeling it the way you once had in the studio, back when you were still the dancer, before you became the fugitive.

Your arms lifted, fluid and controlled, your body following in careful, deliberate motions.

And then you forgot to be careful. You turned, arching into a spin, the hem of your dress fluttering around your thighs. You let your feet move the way they had been trained to—pointed toes, precise steps, every motion a whisper of the ballerina you once were.

A gasp rippled through the crowd.

Someone murmured, “Mierda… she can dance.”

You barely heard them. For the first time in months, you felt like yourself again. Not a girl running, not a girl hiding, but a girl who had been born to dance.

You let yourself go. By the time the music ended, a hush had fallen over the club.

And then—applause. You stood there, breathing hard, your skin glowing under the soft red lights.

When you stepped down from the platform, Carmen was waiting, grinning.

“Dios mío,” she said, shaking her head. “Where the hell did you come from?”

You just smiled. You didn’t have an answer for that. But for the first time since you had arrived, you felt like you had found a piece of home to stay in.

The night air was warmer as you made your way back to the church, the scent of warm pastries wrapped in cloth filling your hands. The applause from the club still echoed in your ears, the feeling of movement still lingering in your limbs. You felt light. For the first time in what felt like forever, you felt less lonely.

You paused at the entrance, looking up at the towering stone structure, its stained glass barely illuminated by the sunlight. The contrast was almost laughable.

The dancer and the priest. A contradiction in itself.

With a breath, you stepped inside.

He was there, seated at one of the pews, his back turned to you. His posture was stiff, as if he’d been deep in thought, or perhaps in prayer.

“Father.”

He turned sharply at your voice, his dark eyes immediately landing on you. For a moment, he said nothing, just studying you as if trying to figure out why you had come back.

You held up the bundle in your hands. “I brought you something.”

His gaze flickered to the wrapped pastries before settling back on your face. Slowly, he stood, walking toward you with careful, deliberate steps. When he got close, the faint scent of smoke and candle wax clung to him.

“You didn’t have to,” he muttered, but he still took them from you. His fingers brushed yours briefly, warm, rough, calloused. The hands of a man who had worked long before he had ever been a priest.

You shrugged. “It’s a thank-you. For helping me yesterday.”

He watched you for a beat before nodding. “Did you find a place to stay?”

“I did.”

He didn’t ask where. He just looked at you, waiting. Maybe he wanted to know. Maybe he already had an idea.

You weren’t going to tell him either. Instead, you smiled. “Don’t eat them all at once, Father.”

Joel’s eyes flickered down, lingering for a second longer than they should have. You noticed.

It was brief, so brief you might have convinced yourself you imagined it. But you didn’t. His gaze had traced over the curve of your waist, the way the fabric of your blouse rested against your skin, the gentle swell of your collarbones. The flicker of something unreadable in his expression disappeared just as quickly as it had come.

He cleared his throat, shifting his weight. “Do you—” He hesitated. “Would you like to talk?”

You raised a brow. “Talk?”

He nodded, tilting his head toward one of the wooden pews. “If you want.”

A small part of you wanted to tease him, ask if priests usually invited strange women to talk in dimly lit churches. But you swallowed the thought.

Instead, you sighed, walking past him and settling onto the worn wooden bench. You crossed one leg over the other, tapping your fingers idly on the surface. Joel sat beside you, close, but not too close.

The silence stretched between you, heavy but not uncomfortable.

“Is this the part where I have to confess my sins?” you asked, breaking the quiet.

Joel exhaled through his nose, almost like a quiet laugh. “Only if you want to.”

You studied him for a moment. The way his hands rested on his lap; fingers curled slightly as if he wasn’t quite at ease. The tension in his shoulders, the quiet restraint in his posture.

You tilted your head. “What about you, Father?”

His gaze lifted to meet yours.

“What do you believe in?” you asked.

Joel didn’t answer. His jaw clenched, something shifting in his expression. He looked away, staring at the rows of empty pews, at the altar beyond. Instead, he let out a slow breath, his fingers drumming idly against his knee. Then, without looking at you, he asked, “Why’d you come here?”

You blinked at him. “Here? To the church?”

He nodded. “Last night”

You considered lying. It would be easier. But something about the way he was looking at the altar, like it held answers he wasn’t sure he wanted, made you tell the truth.

“I don’t know,” you admitted. “I just… felt like I had to. Like, something just called me, you know?”

His gaze flicked to you then, studying, searching. “You’re not religious.” It wasn’t a question.

You smirked. “Is it that obvious?”

Joel didn’t return the smile. He just kept watching you, unreadable. “Then what are you looking for?”

That was a harder question. Peace? A sense of belonging? A place to rest? You weren’t sure.

You hesitated, then shrugged. “Something different. A fresh start.”

Joel hummed, thoughtful. He leaned back slightly, stretching his legs out in front of him. “And you think you’ll find that here?”

You sighed, tilting your head toward him. “What’s with the interrogation, Father? Trying to save my soul?”

This time, he did smile. Barely. Just a flicker of amusement in his expression. “I think your soul is doing just fine on its own.”

That shouldn’t have made your heart stutter the way it did.

Joel shifted, bracing his elbows on his knees. His voice was quieter when he spoke again. “You got people looking for you?”

Your breath caught. There it was. The question you’d been dreading.

You glanced away, suddenly very interested in the cracks in the wooden pew beneath you. “No,” you said eventually. “No one’s looking.”

Joel didn’t press. He just nodded slowly, like he had believed you.

For a while, neither of you spoke. The church was silent except for the occasional creak of wood settling, the distant sound of footsteps from somewhere outside.

Then Joel inhaled, shifting beside you. “You should be careful.”

You turned to him, frowning. “Why?”

His jaw tightened. He hesitated, then sighed. “This town—it’s small. People notice things.”

Your chest tightened, but you forced yourself to keep your expression neutral. “And what have they noticed about me?”

Joel didn’t answer right away. His gaze dropped to your hands resting in your lap, then back up to your face.

“Nothing,” he said finally. “Yet.”

The word lingered between you, heavier than the silence that followed.

“What about?” you asked, “What do you notice about me?”

Joel didn’t answer at first. He just looked at you, eyes unreadable, something working behind them, something you couldn’t quite place.

You held his gaze, waiting, heartbeat steady but slow.

Then, he exhaled through his nose, tilting his head slightly. “I noticed you don’t like talking about yourself.”

Your lips quirked. “Maybe I just don’t like talking to priests.”

That got the barest huff of amusement from him. “Could be.” His fingers tapped lightly against his knee before he added, “But I think it’s more than that.”

You arched a brow. “Oh?”

Joel nodded, his voice quieter when he spoke again. “I think you’ve been running from something”

That made your stomach tighten.

Your first instinct was to deny it, to smirk, roll your eyes, brush it off like he was just another man who thought he had you figured out. But Joel wasn’t just another man. And the way he was looking at you, like he could see past whatever mask you were wearing, made it harder to lie.

Your fingers curled slightly against your lap. “And what makes you think that?”

Joel leaned back slightly, stretching one arm along the pew. His eyes didn’t leave yours. “The way you don’t settle,” he said simply. “Not even when you’re sitting still.”

The words sent something sharp through your chest.

You swallowed, looking away, suddenly feeling too seen, too exposed. “Maybe I just don’t like these wooden benches.”

Joel hummed, like he wasn’t convinced. But he didn’t push, instead he smiled at you.

For a moment, neither of you spoke. The dim glow of candlelight flickered against the stone walls, casting long shadows across the empty church.

Then, finally, Joel shifted beside you. “Did you eat?”

The abrupt change caught you off guard. You blinked, glancing at him. “What?”

His expression was unreadable again, but his voice was casual when he repeated, “Did you eat?”

You frowned. “Why?”

Joel sighed, shaking his head. “Because if you haven’t, I got food in the back.”

You tilted your head, a small smirk playing at your lips. “Are you asking me if I want to eat these pastries with you, Father?”

Joel huffed, shaking his head as he glanced down at the bag of pastries still resting between you. “You brought them” he said gruffly. “Seems only fair.”

You pretended to consider it, tapping a finger against your knee. “Well, I supposed I must take you for a man who shares.”

He shot you a look, one that might’ve been stern if not for the flicker of something else in his eyes. Amusement, maybe. Or something deeper, something you weren’t ready to name.

“Don’t make me take it back,” he muttered.

You bit back a grin, shrugging as you reached for the bag. “Well, if you insist.”

Joel stood, nodding his head toward the back of the church. “Come on. I’m not going sit out here and eat in the dark like some kind of—” he gestured vaguely before shaking his head. “Just come on.”

You followed, the sound of your footsteps echoing against the stone floors. The air was warmer in the back rooms, less hollow than the empty church.

Joel pulled out a chair for you at a small wooden table, and you sat, watching as he grabbed a couple of plates and a knife.

“Tea?” he asked.

You arched a brow. “Didn’t take you for a tea drinker.”

Joel shot you another look. “Or coffee. Pick one.”

You hummed, pretending to consider. “Tea.”

He nodded, setting a teapot on the stove before sitting across from you. The candlelight flickered between you, soft and warm.

You broke off a piece of pastry, popping it into your mouth. “Not bad,” you admitted.

Joel took a bite himself, chewing slowly. Then, he glanced at you,

You weren’t looking at him, too focused on the pastry in your hands, the way the flaky crust crumbled against your fingers. But he was looking at you.

He hadn’t meant to, not like this, not for this long. But there was something about the way you sat there, elbows on the table, the candlelight casting soft golden hues over your skin. Something about the curve of your lips as you chewed thoughtfully, the way your lashes lowered when you focused.

You were different. A fresh breath in a town that had long gone stale, where faces blurred together, where days passed without change. But you—

You weren’t part of this place. Not yet. And maybe that was what drew him in.

His gaze flickered lower, just for a second. The delicate slope of your collarbones, the soft neckline of your blouse that dipped just enough to hint at what lay beneath. He swallowed, jaw tensing, and forced himself to look away, to focus on something else, the flickering candle, the steam rising from the kettle.

“You’re quiet,” you murmured, your voice pulling him back.

Joel cleared his throat. “Just thinking.”

You tilted your head, studying him now, those sharp eyes of yours peeling away layers he hadn’t realized were there. “About what?”

He could’ve lied. Could’ve told you something simple, something easy.

Instead, he exhaled through his nose, shaking his head. “Nothing important.”

A small smile tugged at your lips. You didn’t push, just took another bite of pastry.

And Joel? Joel tried not to look at your lips when you did.

The teapot whistled, breaking the silence. Joel pushed back his chair, a little too fast, the legs scraping against the wooden floor. He muttered something under his breath, maybe a curse, maybe just an exhale—as he stood and turned toward the stove.

You watched him, chin resting in your hand, fingers tapping absently against your cheek.

He moved with quiet fast, pouring the hot water into two mismatched mugs, the steam curling up between you like an unspoken thought.

“Sugar?” he asked.

You hummed, pretending to think. “Do you have honey?”

Joel shot you a dry look but opened a small cupboard, rummaging until he found a half-used jar. He set it down in front of you, his fingers brushing the edge of your mug as he did.

You wrapped your hands around the warm ceramic, taking a slow sip.

Joel sat back down, quieter this time, his elbows resting on the worn wooden table.

You tilted your head. “So, do priests always offer tea and pastries to strangers passing by?”

A corner of his mouth twitched, almost a smile. “No.”

You raised a brow. “Just me, then?”

Joel held your gaze, something unreadable flickering in the depths of his brown eyes. Then he looked away, took a slow sip of his own tea.

“Yeah,” he said. “Just you.”

You set your cup down gently, the porcelain clinking softly against the table. "Thanks for being so kind to me." you said, your voice low, more than just for the tea and pastries. It was for the quiet, for the refuge, for something you couldn't quite explain.

Joel didn’t respond right away, but you saw the faintest shift in his posture, the tightness in his shoulders easing just a little. His eyes flickered back to yours, and there was something different about the way he looked at you now, less guarded, almost as if he’d let a small part of himself slip into the space between you.

He nodded, almost imperceptibly, then reached for the teapot, his fingers brushing the warm ceramic. "You don't have to thank me," he said quietly. "It's... it’s nothing."

But you both knew it wasn’t nothing. It never was.

Behind his intentions there was always kindness, but now something new flickered.

A temptation threatening his faith, like the world had set on fire the moment you glances met for the first time and he wanted the flames to catch him to be saved by you.

tags: if you want to be removed, you're free to tell me.

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spiritedstars · 2 days ago

Text

Spirit Meets the Bones [Epilogue]

Genre: Angst/Romance/Drama Author’s Note: I am very very emotional posting this. Writing this fic drove me crazy in the best way and I'm really proud of it. I loved telling Eris x Iris's story. Thank you for reading. Thank you for tagging along on this long journey. Thank you for loving Eiris the way I do!

In case you missed it, I commissioned a royal portrait of Eiris! Check it out here.

The biggest thank you will always go to @riorsonxaden because without you being my support, bouncing ideas with me, and always taking time to read each chapter and give me your feedback, I wouldn't be posting this or as satisfied with it as I am. Thank you. I love you.

tagging: @climb-the-mountian / @gwynberdara / @positivewitch / @animezinglife / @zenkindoflove / @rosewood-cafe / @clockwork-ashes / @carnythian / @secret-third-thing / @runningwiththeoceans / @that-golden-lyre / @thedarkinmansfield / @readychilledwine / @goldenmagnolias / @mali22 / @readthelastpaage / @maidr-00 / @electromagnetic-waves / @moobell55 / @bibliophiliaxvignette / @devilsfoodcake22 / @weesablackbeak / @ladywhilemia / @alohaangels / @feysandfeels / @corcracrow / @dawneternal / @gracie-rosee / @mage-neve / @illyrianvalkyrie / @saint-stella / @carolynmezzosoprano / @rainbowsnowflake / @queenoftheworld1998 / @wolvesnravens / @lalaluch / @moonfawnx / @temperedink / @batboyslutt / @rcarbo1 /

Find it all here.

Six Months Later.

Eris stood in his study, glancing out the window with a whisky in hand, soaking up the last moments of quiet he’d have for the rest of the day.

Today was the day.

Dressed in a fitted forest green suit, his crown resting on his head, the High Lord of the Autumn Court allowed himself a small smile. The lapel Iris had gifted him was pinned neatly to his jacket, and Eris was only a little nervous—but for once in his life, it was a good kind of nervousness.

He was getting married. Again.

After the night of the battle, it was well into the morning before they had a moment to rest. They had all been exhausted and worn and desperately needed time to heal properly. Iris’s wounds had reopened, and Eris had gone through the agony of watching her recover from them. The scars had left faint marks, and though it had crushed Eris to see her beautiful skin be marred in such a way, Iris had only knocked her shoulder against his and said, “We’re more of a perfect match now.”

Even distracted with all his new duties as High Lord, Eris had driven those around him nearly insane while Iris healed. He had waited until Nevien had given him a very exasperated all-clear to touch his wife in the way he had been craving to, and Eris had made love to his mate in a way that still had Iris turning bright red whenever she thought about it.

It had been as filthy as Eris had wanted.

After that particular rigorous night, Eris had met her gaze, his hand stroking her bare skin, and said, “Let’s get married. Our way this time.”

Iris had only kissed him in response.

And now, he was getting married to the love of his life. His mate.

As he planned for their wedding, Eris found that slipping into his role as High Lord had been smoother than anticipated.

While a new court required a new council, new rules, and considerable follow-through, for Eris, who had already handled much of his father’s affairs, being High Lord was like breathing.

Eris had spent that first week as High Lord cleaning out those in his father’s pocket, giving them two choices: change or death. Though they remained under constant scrutiny, many had been intelligent enough to choose the former. For those that hadn’t made the right choice, Eris had unleashed his brothers, their hunt serving as a reminder, that though they may not be their father, they knew exactly how to make things hurt.

Iris’s father had been the only person who had no choice in what happened to him. He had barely survived his daughter’s wrath, but Iris had ensured he hadn’t died too quickly. She had requested a public hanging after he was displayed for a week in the heart of the court—no healing permitted. When the day finally came for Aron’s execution, Iris watched her father’s corpse struggle against the rope as it tightened around his neck, floundering for air until his body went limp. She had felt no remorse.

He had been left to hang on the flagpole for all to see, the marks and blood from the battle still visible. It was a message and a decree in their new court; an abuser had no place here.

While change was never easy and most of his people welcomed him warmly, there was trepidation. People were hopeful and yet, scared. Worried it was all a joke – a dream – a test to weed out traitors against the crown. And Eris understood it. He had lived this uncertainty and while he hadn’t suddenly turned into a saint, he granted them patience. He gave them a calmness he had yearned for the Autumn Court to have.

This started with the Forest House. Eris had tested his new magic while morphing the House into a home. He wanted to wipe away his father’s touch from every inch and slowly but surely, it began to look different. To feel different.

Within Autumn, their people were united. Outside of their court, their reputation as cutthroat remained. As a new leader – Eris did not want to give anyone the idea that Autumn would be an easy target. He had quickly connected with the other courts, setting the precedent for networking with the Autumn Court; his wretched father had stifled them, but Eris had endless ideas for inter-court connections and trade. He was eager for more. For better.

His brothers had joined his council, each taking a more active role in managing their court, and for the first time in his life, Eris didn’t feel so alone.

While they didn’t always see eye to eye and meetings had sometimes gotten heated, in the end, they all had the same goal – to do better. To be better. It didn’t erase their past but they were family. The word actually meant something now.

It took his mother some time to visit her old home, but every time she did, Eris’s chest ached in a way he hadn’t expected, to see her roam the halls of the Forest House with a smile on her face—happy. The High Lord of Day had been gracious enough to give Eris some time before shouting his mating bond for the world to hear; a month after Eris became High Lord, Helion claimed her as his mate and they’ve been in bliss since. Lucien began visiting Autumn and was greeted with a warm welcome every time. Though he still wasn’t always comfortable, Elain’s excitement to explore the court and bond with his family made up for it.

Izak and Helene had decided to stay in their home within their community, but Eris still had a suite ready for them whenever they wished to stay. It felt strange to watch his sister-in-law’s pregnancy, to know that the first baby Vanserra was on the way. Eris still sent her a gift now and then to make up for their first meeting.

With no hesitation, Cosette had moved into Emil’s suite within the Forest House, as did Theo with Finn. The two had bonded, forcing Emil and Finn to spend more time together than they were used to, and it had been very amusing for Eris to watch. Until Iris also forced him to be there and suddenly, he was not so very amused.

Three months after that, and after the transition of their court had calmed just slightly, Eris had planned the perfect wedding. It would be a small, intimate affair with only family and friends with delicious food, good music, and by the end of the night, he would be fucking his wife on his new throne.

His small smile widened into a smirk as he pictured his beautiful wife melting beneath his touch.

Gods, was he excited.

A knock on his office door had Eris turning. He drained his drink and set it on his desk before saying, “Come in.”

Finn poked his head in through the door and much to Eris’s annoyance, gave a wolf whistle. “Damn brother, you do clean up nice.”

Eris rolled his eyes as his brothers filed in and he gestured for Lucien to close the door behind him, a shield reinforcing it. “For once in your life, you seem to look decent yourself.” His eyes swept over each of his brothers. Indeed, each of them was dressed impeccably. He barely recognized Izak. “Surprisingly, you all do.”

“I don’t know why you’re surprised about me,” Lucien said dryly. “I always dress well. And maybe Emil. It’s the other two who look like hooligans all the time.”

“Ah, fuck off. I look great walking around like a damn dream.” Finn immediately protested.

“I’m not a hooligan,” Izak said in offense. “I dress appropriately for my job.”

“What I assume Lucien means is the general air of peasant you both give off.” Emil quipped with a small smirk. “Unfortunately, if there is a stench, you two are the first people will look to.”

Lucien choked back a laugh and Eris sighed when Finn and Izak broke out into an argument.

“We’ll see who gets the last laugh when I flirt with Elain and Cosette so hard –”

“Leave my mate out of this.”

“I will skin you alive –”

“When will you realize no one likes it when you flirt with them?” Izak added with a snort. “You suck at it.”

“It’s not the only thing he sucks,” Lucien replied and the cackles broke out again as Finn let out a growl.

“Oy!”

“To be fair, Izak, Helene doesn’t seem to mind his presence as much,” Emil said and eyed Izak with that obnoxious smirk. “He seems to be craving a little female time. Are you aware of this? I think we might need to inform Theo.”

Izak glared at Emil. “And what the hell is that supposed to mean? Are you accusing my pregnant wife of something?”

“No, I’m accusing your brother of being a home wrecker.”

“I have not wrecked any homes, you fuckers.”

“So the rumors about you being people’s third are false?”

“How the fuck would you hear about that, Lucien?”

“Same way I hear about everyone’s nonsense. Your slutty lives are local news.”

“Oy, I’ve been with one female for years.”

“None of those rumors are ever about you, Izak. No one wants you.” Finn said and smiled the way he knew would make his brothers see red. “But don’t worry, Helene and I already have a plan to work things out once you kick the bucket.” He glanced at Emil and pointed. “The same way Cosette and I do.” Then pointed to Eris. “The same way Iris and I do.” And lastly, pointed to Lucien. “You don’t let me near Elain enough but I’m working on charming her. I can’t wait to talk flowers with her. I’m suddenly itching to start my own garden.”

And before the room could explode, Eris took a deep breath and allowed his magic to swat each of his brothers across the head, hard. Ignoring their outrage, he held up his hands for silence and finally addressed them. “This is exactly why I asked you all to be here. There will be absolutely no fighting at my wedding, do you understand?”

Finn opened his mouth and Eris shot him a look. “No bringing up significant others.” He glared at Emil. “No instigating fights with baseless rumors.” He pointed at Izak. “No getting offended every time someone mentions your damn wife.” And lastly, he gave Lucien an exasperated look. “No adding fuel to the fire of an already ridiculous argument.”

Addressing them all at once, he said firmly. “No fighting.”

“But –”

“It wasn’t even –”

“I have nothing to do with –”

“I’m barely tolerating being here –”

A muscle twitched in Eris’s jaw and the room heated as he forced himself to take another breath and smooth down his suit jacket. “Today is my wedding day. An event I have perfectly planned to celebrate my wife and I,” he said, forcing himself to remain calm as he glanced at his brother’s stupid faces. “Iris is very excited and I will not have any of your bullshit annoying her in any way. So.”

He stepped in front of Emil who was clearly fighting a laugh and pointed. “No fighting.”

Stepping to Finn, Eris fought hard not to punch the smug expression right off his face and pointed a little more threateningly. “No – fucken – fighting.”

He moved to Izak and Lucien, the former, who held up his hands as though he was an innocent bystander in all of this, and the latter shrugging his shoulders with no care in the world. It annoyed Eris even further as he pointed between them and said again, “No – fighting.”

Turning in the room and addressing all of them at once, “There will be no – fucken – fighting or so help me, Iris will have your throats and I’ll have the hounds eat whatever she leaves of you.”

“Damn, she’d get vicious on her wedding day?” Izak said with a whistle.

“She has a knife strapped to her as we speak and will use it as she sees fit.”

“Kinky.” Finn said in an annoyingly singsong voice that made Eris want to choke him where he stood.

“Match made in heaven, you two.” Lucien added with a snort and Eris grunted.

“That’s right and I have no issues stabbing you myself if I have to,” he swore. “Behave yourselves.”

“Will you cry when she walks in?” Emil asked, mockingly putting a hand over his heart. “I don’t know if I will be able to hold back from succumbing to tears myself if you do.”

“I cannot believe you’re my biggest problem today,” Eris said with a glare at his usually quieter brother. “Fuck off.”

Pointing threateningly one last time, he confirmed, “Am I clear, assholes?”

They all grumbled their agreements and as they stood together in the room, Eris eyed them wearily then shook his head.

They were alright. They had earned this.

Without waiting for Eris’s permission, Emil moved around his brother, grabbed the bottle on his desk, and magicked each of them a drink.

“Since you’re done threatening us, I’d like to propose a toast,” Emil began, giving Eris a more genuine smile. “To our big brother and High Lord,” he continued, “We weren’t invited to your last wedding and are only mildly inconvenienced to celebrate this one with you.” Holding up his glass as Eris rolled his eyes. “May your union be blessed. To Eris and Iris.”

Each of his other brothers raised their glasses and repeated, “To Eris and Iris.”

And as Eris brought the glass to his mouth, Finn had the audacity to add, “And to their firstborn child who will absolutely be named after me. Cheers!”

Eris could only bring himself to sigh. He did it so often these days.

Once the wedding began, nothing else mattered to Eris other than getting to the part where he’d see and then promptly kiss his wife. It had been hours since she had woken him up this morning, sliding her body over his, and they had almost been late for wedding prep.

It had been a fantastic way to start the day, and it was how they started most days. He couldn’t get enough of touching her—of being with her as openly as he could be. Through every change, Iris walked with him, hand in hand, equal in responsibilities, and it made his chest ache to know she actually cared about what happened to their court. Her support wasn’t for show.

Without a looming threat, Eris allowed himself to simply…feel. It disgusted him but he allowed it.

For so long, he had craved so desperately. Even as the desire to light himself on fire for actually letting his emotions be, Eris allowed it. He had earned it and his wife deserved it. She deserved all his feelings.

And so, Eris Vanserra let himself be in love. To truly, soak it in that his wife, his friend, and his mate was here, with him. Beautiful and loved him too.

There were many nights when Eris couldn’t sleep and would lie awake, simply staring at Iris curled up next to him, convincing himself that this was all real. That they had survived and they were finding happiness in this new normal. That he was happy and shouldn’t be afraid of the feeling.

How he had wished. How he had looked to the sky and begged and now…his prayers had finally been answered.

Eris wouldn’t take a second of it for granted.

And now, he stood at the tastefully decorated altar filled with Iris’s favorite flowers, impatiently waiting for her to walk in. They had set up the ceremony to take place in a smaller hall within the Forest House to keep it as private as possible.

His eyes swept the room, glancing at his idiotic brothers and their significant others sitting next to them. According to Lucien, they were all his groomsmen though Eris hadn’t asked; they grinned rather smugly with their matching boutonnieres that Eris had most certainly not picked out, and he crinkled his nose at how much resemblance there was between them seated like this. His mother sat with Helion, her hand resting in the crook of the High Lord’s arm and the rest of the seats were all filled with his closest friends.

This was the most relaxed he’d ever been at an event he was hosting and yet, Eris felt like he would lose his mind if he had to wait another minute for Iris to walk in.

Did a part of him cringe hard, knowing he was going to let himself appear ‘happy’ in front of people? Gods, yes. But was it worth it, for him to see Iris experience joy? That after all they had been through, they were getting to choose each other all over again? On their own terms? Absolutely.

A little embarrassment would be a small price to pay.

Was Eris also a little smug that he managed to plan this wedding to be on the exact day of their original anniversary? Very much so.

It was the same date a year later, and yet as the music finally started to play and he turned, his heart thumping wildly in his chest waiting for his wife to walk in, Eris marveled at the way time had passed and had shifted the tide.

He marveled at how this was his actual life now.

And when Iris walked in, she stole his breath all over again.

Iris slowly began her walk down the aisle towards her mate, her cheeks flushed happily as his twelve hounds bounced alongside her, dressed for the occasion. Her smile was warm and as her eyes scanned the room, she couldn’t help the slight shyness that crept on her knowing the people in this room were part of her life.

They were her family and friends. Something she wouldn’t have dreamed of having a year ago.

A year ago, she had been miserable and terrified of getting married to Eris. Now, she thought her chest would explode from the sheer amount of happiness she was feeling.

She felt beautiful, dressed in a custom-made gown — courtesy of her very involved husband — that made her feel elegant, poised, and exactly how the wife of the High Lord should look, holding Elain’s most stunning bouquet yet in her hands. She was adorned with the jewelry Eris had previously given her and a stunning tiara on her head that complimented her simple hairstyle.

And it made her body heat to see the way Eris was staring at her. Always intensely, always so hungrily – as if their hands hadn’t been all over each other just this morning.

When she finally reached him, Eris held out his hand for her to take. He carefully brought her up the step to stand across from him, and when their eyes met, the world went quiet.

Everything seemed to still as the weight of all they had endured this year sat between them. It felt so calm. So surreal, as husband and wife simply stared at each other. It felt surreal to stand there knowing that only by a twist of fate, they had found each other and their lives had intertwined.

Eris couldn’t stop staring at her. It made his heart ache to see her standing before him and smiling so brightly; he wanted to double over and it was through sheer force of will that he didn’t allow his expression to change – to display just how pathetically in love he was.

She was so beautiful and he couldn’t believe she was his.

All his.

“Hello, husband,” Iris whispered with a small smile and Eris’s lips twitched.

“Hello, wife,” he murmured.

“You should pick up your jaw off the floor. You’re drooling all over your fancy suit.” she teased but Eris shook his head, fighting against his expression shifting.

“Too late for that, I’m afraid.”

“How embarrassing for you.”

“How embarrassing for you. You’re the one marrying me. Again.” he tsked and Iris rolled her eyes and then let out a rather exaggerated sigh.

“What can I say, I couldn’t bring myself to leave my little pups.” she said, and Eris narrowed his eyes.

“Only the pups, hm?”

Iris shrugged playfully. “Well. I suppose there is one more lovesick pup I couldn’t bring myself to leave.”

“Careful now –”

A throat cleared and the two straightened, suddenly remembering where they were. Iris flushed deeply and Eris pursed his lips, glancing at the priestess standing before them who smiled sheepishly.

“I am ready whenever you are, my lord.”

Eris ignored the hoots and laughter of his annoying family and instead, kept his eyes on his wife. He had been foolish to think sharing this moment with others had been a good idea.

He should’ve kept it even more private. Just the two of them, alone. He never liked an audience to his emotions and Eris felt the back of his neck heat as everyone’s eyes were on them.

Yet – he watched as Iris smiled bashfully at their guests, earning her a few laughs, and Eris glanced down at her hand in his, her thumb caressing his soothingly…maybe it wasn’t so bad. He could pretend it was just the two of them.

She was the sun. Everything else was irrelevant.

“You look like you’re about to run out on me,” she teased in a whisper and squeezed his hand.

Eris shot her a look, squeezing her hand right back.

“We’ve only been here minutes and I already regret doing this,” he murmured with no real heat and when Iris furrowed her brows, Eris only sighed. “I don’t want to share this with others. Them.”

“Oy! Stop it with the googly eyes and get the party started!” Finn shouted and Eris’s head snapped to his brother with a glare.

“One more word out of you and I swear –”

But Iris laughed softly and tugged him back to her. “You can’t threaten your brother at our wedding.”

Eris snorted. “Oh yes, I can. I will slit his throat.”

“No, you won’t.”

“Iris –”

“You will not be hurting anyone at my wedding or I will be stabbing you.”

A different kind of heat rushed through his body and Eris knew his smirk told people too much.

He was deeply regretting this not being a private event.

“Don’t threaten me with a good time, wife.”

Iris turned to look at the priestess and sighed, “I don’t think I’ll be going through with this after all, I’m so sorry to have wasted your time.”

Eris’s smirk widened and then he tugged Iris closer to him. “As if I’d let you leave after all this.” He nodded to the priestess. “Please proceed.”

The priestess bit her lip, clearly fighting a laugh but then cleared her throat and began.

Eris heard nothing of what was said. All his senses focused on Iris, who smiled too knowingly at him. When it was finally time to exchange their rings once more, Iris surprised him with a new wedding band. With Eris’s style, she knew he’d prefer something that complemented everything he wore, so she had picked a simple hammered texture and engraved their initials on the inside.

“I couldn’t be the only one with a new ring.” she teased, slipping it onto his finger and Eris tried not to collapse as his heart thumped wildly. He couldn’t bring myself to say anything else, overwhelmed with all these fucken feelings clogged in his throat. He could only slide her ring on her finger and then place a soft kiss on her hand.

“Do you have vows you would like to share?” the priestess asked.

Eris and Iris glanced at each other. They had agreed that whatever vows they’d had would be between them so instead, Iris slanted her head slightly.

“No, but I do have a question,” she said, the corner of her mouth curling up. “A question for a question.”

Eris’s expression lit up in amusement. “A question for a question.”

“Do you agree to willingly tolerate me for the rest of our days, husband dear?”

The small laugh escaped him before he could stop it and Eris replied, “I do. Do you agree to willingly tolerate me for the rest of our days then, dearest wife?”

Iris hummed playfully, pretending to think until he lifted a brow and she conceded with a laugh. “I do.”

“I believe I was supposed to ask a similar question…” the priestess began but with a glance from Eris, she cleared her throat and continued, “No matter! With this exchange, your union has been blessed. May the Mother continue to fill your lives with peace, joy, and harmony. You may kiss your bride, High Lord.”

“About damn time,” Eris murmured, and as he leaned in and Iris met her lips with his, the cheers in the room matched the cheers in his heart, and he couldn’t bring himself to give a single shit about who watched them.

The rest of the night had passed in full merriment, an unusual occurrence for the Vanserras. Very few parties had ever been this calm – enjoyable even. Considering the last ball they’d been to, this ceremony was a dream.

Though they had remained on high alert, the brothers let themselves simply be present. The former Lady of Autumn’s smile was bright, her mate watching her every breath with stars in his eyes. They had all danced – Finn risking his life to dance with each of his brother’s paramours – and yet, despite the bickering and nonsense, Eris had watched Iris enjoy every minute of it. Her smile had dazzled the whole room and he wouldn’t have had it any other way.

She had surprised him again during the party. In addition to the wedding cake he had originally requested, Iris presented a cake she had baked herself. It was a small round cake with white frosting, decorated with irises and Eris felt the mating bond thump beneath his skin at the gesture.

Picking up a fork, she smiled at him and asked in a hushed tone, “Are you ready to eat, mate?”

Eris’s throat had bobbed as he took the fork from her hand and it took him a moment before he cleared his throat and joked, “So this is the way I go. Poisoned by my mate.”

Her exasperated expression was so endearingly familiar that Eris couldn’t help but laugh, kiss her heartily, and then devour every last morsel of it.

Now, he sat on his new throne, happily married, happily mated, his wife in his lap, and her hand trailing distractingly down his chest.

His suit jacket was long gone, his crown sitting askew on his head and Eris had allowed himself to get slightly tipsy. He was also covered in lipstick stains, and Iris was still kissing his neck.

“I could die right now and would consider myself the luckiest bastard alive.” He mumbled and Iris straightened in his lap with a tsk. Her wedding cape had been discarded on her own throne next to them, her heels tossed to the side and Eris had already taken all the pins out of her hair, setting her long locks free. Her tiara remained, of course.

“How could you say that when we haven’t even had our proper wedding night?” she teased. “What a disappointing start to our marriage.”

Eris’s hands slid to his wife’s waist and he yanked her closer until she was inches from his lips, exactly where he liked her. “You and I both know, there is nothing disappointing about our marriage,” he said and gave her a knowing look. “Especially when my shy little wife is no longer shy, craving me constantly.”

“Don’t flatter yourself like you aren’t ready to collapse every time my hand brushes against your skin, High Lord.” she breathed, tracing a finger across his collarbone.

Eris chuckled, taking that finger and bringing it to his lips to kiss. “True. You had me wrapped around your finger from day one, I suppose,” he replied with a long-suffering sigh and Iris laughed but couldn’t help herself from pecking him quickly.

“If it helps, it’s exactly how I want you, obsessed with me.”

“Given how you can’t even sleep without being engulfed in my scent, I’m not the only one obsessed, am I?” he teased. “Remember how prickly you were in the beginning? Like a feral little cat. And now look at you – simply addicted.”

Iris returned the long-suffering sigh and Eris’s lip twitched. “I suppose you have me there.” she said and her cheeks flushed when she added, “I do love you enough that I married you twice.”

His expression softened and his hand brushed against her cheek, whispering, “And I am always grateful you chose me.”

Husband and wife watched one another in silence, the thread of their bond shining bright and true between them. It had all been worth it. Every hardship. Every doubt and fear and anxiety that had clawed at their lives before this…it had all been worth it.

“I’d choose you every time, Eris,” she said softly. “You are mine and I am yours. Until the sun sets in its final hour. Until I am nothing but dust and even after that, when I am no more than a memory, I will always be yours.”

His throat bobbed as he watched her smile at him, a rush of affection so deep, Eris wanted to sink in it and never come up for air. “And I yours,” he murmured, pulling her close again, his lips brushing against hers. “My heart and my soul – my very breath and every broken part of me will only ever be yours.”

“Every wonderful part of you.” Iris corrected and Eris couldn’t help his chuckle.

“Only because it’s you and everything you touch becomes wonderful,” he said and Iris shook her head.

“After everything that’s happened, you are not allowed to speak about yourself that way,” she demanded, leaning back to give him a stern look. “I forbid it.”

He chuckled again. “Well, if my mate and future High Lady forbid it, I suppose I must listen,” he said and brushed back a loose curl, tugging on her ear gently. “You still want to wait until next year to declare the title officially?”

“Yes,” Iris confirmed and cupped his face. “I’d like more time learning in court before we add another big change. You need to keep things stable for now.”

Eris nodded, watching her face with that small smile that was all hers. How he had gotten so lucky, he’d never know. The Mother had blessed him in ways he’d never even let himself dream.

“As you wish, wife,” he said. “I look forward to your insights. Even if you have questionable opinions at times.”

“Excuse me?”

“Do you still think Lucien is more dashing than me, then?” he asked immediately and Iris blinked then leaned her head back with a laugh.

“Ah, so that’s what this is about.” she teased with a giggle and Eris pursed his lips at her response, narrowing his eyes.

“As I said, questionable opinions.”

Iris rolled her eyes, smiling so fondly, that it made her cheeks ache. “To answer your question,” she said quietly and leaned in to kiss the corner of his mouth. “No, I don’t. Even if he may dress better than you sometimes.”

Eris tutted and sat back, pulling her more firmly in his lap, and shook his head. “So many silly lies you tell.”

Iris hummed, leaning into him, and brushed her thumb against his mouth. She loved him, and what a blessing—after waiting for so long, she had been given a love like this. She loved him so deeply, yet she could never put into words just how much he meant to her—her husband, her friend, her mate. It left her helpless in the best way, and Iris wanted nothing more than to stay wrapped up with him like this.

He was all hers. For forever and every day after. He was all hers.

“What are you going to do about all my lies, then?” she whispered, arching into him as Eris ran his hand down her back with a smirk and she leaned in to kiss the other corner of his mouth.

“Kiss you until you stop saying them, I suppose,” he hummed, and Iris grinned.

“Well then,” she said. “I guess I’ll just have to keep lying.”

Eris couldn’t stop staring at her, sitting in his arms with a mischievous grin, her scent enveloping him. He truly had everything he ever wanted – right here. And it was real, not a desperate dream. “Tell me more of your lies then, little gazelle.”

“Mmm, you’re hideous.”

He chuckled and leaned in to brush his lips against hers. “What else?”

“You’re simply the worst person I’ve ever met.”

Eris fought back his own grin, nipping at her bottom lip. “Tell me more.”

Iris leaned back again and met his gaze, her expression softening again in a way that made Eris tremble.

“I hate you,” she said and the corner of his mouth quirked up, warmth spreading in his chest. “You’re the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“Is that the best lie you have?” he teased. Iris narrowed her eyes in thought for a moment, then smirked devilishly, wrapping both arms around his neck, a breath away from his lips.

“You’re terrible in bed.”

Eris barked out a laugh and Iris joined him as unfiltered joy flooded through him. He wouldn’t question this gift he’d been given for a single moment – never let a doubt creep in between them. Wrapping his arms around his wife, Eris kissed his Iris in earnest, pouring all his love and promises into her lips.

His heart had always been in the palm of her hands, and Iris had wrapped her very soul around him. Together, they would welcome a new beginning.

They would spend the rest of their days just like this.

Happy.

Whole.

Together.

And where jaded spirits had once met tired bones, their spirits were jaded no more.

Rekindled, they had finally settled home.

#eris vanserra #eris vanserra x oc #eris vanserra fanfic #eris x oc #acotar fanfiction #smtb chapters #gifcs #we have reached the end!#For anyone that has interacted with this fic in any way #I love you and adore you and appreciate you!#I hope you enjoyed it.#previously: lucienarcheron #I hope yall caught the show reference I made here haha

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sunsbaby · 2 days ago

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❝ de. i think i'm stuck... ❞

❝ sam will you help me! gosh... ❞

⋆ dean w. & sam w. x photographer .ᐟ reader

ever since you began hunting with the boys, their life went in a new direction. they found themselves appreciating the little things a bit more—such as taking photos, just on their phones and not a huge camera. sam had taken more of an interest than dean, following you around and secretly 'learning' from you. dean, however, he didn't care for it, but somehow he always took the best photos. albeit some are rather embarrassing, like you with pie all over your face, but they were fond memories and a way for him to relive the moment again.

"biride, hurry up. we don't have all day." dean groaned, his head falling back as he dramatically rolled his eyes.

sam stood on the side-lines, too busy in whatever lore he was reading to focus on the important matter at hand—important in your words. there was a beautiful bird high up in a tree, one that you had to climb in order to get close enough; that's how you ended up perched on a branch, camera held tightly in your grasp as you shot a look down towards dean.

"de, do not distract me or so help me god i will break this camera on your head!" you threatened in a hushed whisper as to not scare away the creature in front of you. "and you will buy me a new one."

"yea right, birdie. you won't do anything, and i'm not buying you anything." dean teased, sam let out a sigh—he gave dean 'the look.'

somehow sam thought this was the perfect moment to take a picture of, their birdie trying to take a photo of a bird. he let out a chuckle as his finger pressed the button on his phone, a snapping sound echoed through the trees when you both clicked a button at the same time. the bird flew away, but you were successful. celebrating your victory with a little dance—to which dean face-palmed at.

when you attempted to get down, you realized something was off. you quite literally could not climb down. your lips pursed and you tried to come up with a plan inside your head—which was filled with song lyrics and what else you could take a picture of. not helpful, so you resorted to your only other option. sam and dean!

"de. i think i'm stuck..." your voice was almost quiet, which dean took as an opening to tease you.

"huh? what was that birdie? i can't hear your chirping from down here." he said, that dumb grin etched onto his face—a face you couldn't wait to smack.

"sam, will you help me!" you almost yelled as a pout formed on your glossy lips—no dry lips around here! "gosh..."

⋆⭒˚.⋆

after that stressful part of the day, you settled into the backseat of baby while the boys sat in the front. people might think that you're being forced to sit in the back—no, it's actually the opposite. who wants to sit between two men, especially ones who spread their legs like they're the only ones sitting there. at least in the back you can lay down, and not think about the sexual activities that have gone down. it makes for a great way to take pictures of them with out their knowledge.

"can we stop at a gas station, i want snacks." you asked as you poked your head into the front, turning up the music in the process.

"i could go for some too." sam joked, his eyes focusing in on yours.

a soft smile played at his lips—he couldn't imagine life without you. you'd just walst into it and changed them for the better. no matter how far you went, your wings always brought you back.

"i guess, birdie..." dean grumbled, he knew good and well that he couldn't say no to you. neither could sam. "shut up, bitch." dean joked with sam, a genuine smile forming on deans stubbled face.

"jerk."

the sun faded in the background as you sang out into the sky, the wind tangling in your hair. another day spent with your boys and memories made. that was what a good day is to you.

sunny yaps! HIII EVERYONEE! 👯‍♀️ photographer!readers first little story/drabble! i hope you guys like her and pls share your thoughts and opinions! I LOVE HEARING THEM!

special tags! @bluemerakis @figthoughts @dulcescorderitas @sunsettsam @h8aaz @deansbeer

𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐒𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘 ® 𓂃 do not repost or copy my works without permission!!

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roguishcat · 8 hours ago

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What books don't teach you (or how to date a wickedly charming vampire if all you know about dating is purely theoretical)

Summary: Unfortunately, having enough smutty fiction to sink a ship did not prepare you for dating (were you even dating?) Astarion. A shy/inexperienced Reader x Astarion fic where both do everything wrong but somehow end up getting it right. Set in Act II (before Astarion's confession).

Rating: Exlicit (MNDI)

Tags: MNDI, 18+, NSFW, Humour, Romance, Angst, Smut, Smut with feels, Smut with some plot, Oral (Male receiving), Masturbation (female), Vaginal Fingering, Praise kink, They are bad at communicating, Inexperienced Reader, Astarion is bad at feelings

Pairing: Astarion x female Reader (You)

Word Count: 5.5k

A/N: It's spring cleaning time, so let's get those WIPs done! 😊 This is my first finished WIP for @thekindredcollective BG3 Spring Cleaning! Should have spent more time on this before posting, but my laptop is acting up again and I want to post the story whilst I can still use it (I hate writing/editing on my phone). Comments and constructive criticism are appreciated. Please tell me if you notice mistakes and typos! Hope you enjoy the story! ❤️❤️

You wanted to put him in your mouth. There. You said it. Well, admitted it to yourself silently in the dead of night whilst completely hidden under the blanket. Which was pretty much the same thing. Sort of.

You and Astarion had already done... it. The horizontal tango, that is. Twice even!

And you were very proud of how cool, smooth and put-together you were during those times. (Astarion immediately saw through your act, of course, but that was beside the point!)

Because no matter how inexperienced you were, you remembered both nights with hot cheeks and gentle warmth blooming to life in your chest every time you thought about the time you spent enjoying each other. Prior to meeting Astarion, you had no idea that bodies and tongues could even be used in such a manner. You read about it, of course. And being a voracious reader, especially when it came to certain literature, you had a general idea of what happened between consenting adults in the bedroom. And forests, beaches, caves, country houses, castle dungeons and so on.

But to actually experience it yourself! No matter how much you let your imagination run wild, to actually have someone, and a very handsome someone at that, outdo anything you imagined had been life-changing. You had a wonderful, toe-curling, lip-biting, earth-shattering, amazing time. And you really, really wanted to reciprocate.

And therein lay the problem.

The one and only time that you dared to go down on someone, you were told quite explicitly that you were completely shit at it. Absolutely talentless. Beyond terrible. And that put you off trying something like this with anyone ever again. Or so you thought.

Because when you looked at Astarion as he lay on top of you, making you tremble and shake with every movement of his hands on your skin, it made you wonder. Wonder how he would taste. You looked at Astarion and ached. Craved to hear him gasp and moan. Watch him unravel from the skill of your tongue and hands. Because surely if others could learn to do that to other person’s orifices then you… could probably manage to be okay at it.

The thought of your late-night musings becoming reality had your cheeks burning in seconds. You sighed and hit your head on the pillow, knowing that it was an awful, terrible idea.

Astarion was experienced, beautiful, and confident. You were not. Whatever it was that made him decide to be with you in the first place would surely be outweighed by the spectacular way you would screw this up.

You sighed again, this time a deep, long sound almost emptied your lungs.

You wondered if you could just ask someone. You were sure that at least one of your companions could give you a pointer or two. But Astarion's pointy ears seemed to catch every bit of juicy gossip, every little whisper. He would know of the full extent of your inadequacy and promptly dump you.

No. You needed to keep your embarrassing secret to yourself.

And then you had a eureka moment. Because you realised that you didn't need to ask anyone at all! What you needed was to get Gale distracted enough for you to steal one of his books. Because you were more than certain that recently Gale had come into possession of a very filthy tome that he quickly squirreled away before anyone could notice. The tome that would be your salvation.

And with this comforting thought finally allowing you to relax, you soon found yourself in the arms of Morpheus, your sleep untroubled and filled with pleasant, if a little racy, dreams.

Astarion was... concerned. Yes, he wasn't worried exactly, though he was slowly edging towards that territory. And why? Well, because their level-headed leader started acting in a manner that one could politely refer to as eccentric.

This group was already full of weirdos, and you were pretty much the only one of the lot that one could call the voice of reason. Except lately you seemed to abandon all reason and instead chose to act like a woman gone mad as you made attempt after attempt to steal something from the wizard.

You were so bad at going about it in a discreet manner that it was almost amusing. Gale did not seem to notice, but Astarion knew that the cleric and the gith did, as did Karlach. He was sure that Shadowheart and Karlach had some kind of bet going on, although he did not care to find out exactly what the terms were.

Initially, he had a fleeting thought that you were trying to get into Gale's tent for amorous reasons. That you decided to take a new lover. Astarion tried not to examine the sick feeling that twisted his gut at the thought of you leaving his bedroll cold to frolic into another person's tent. Because there wasn't any sick feeling in the first place and even if there was, he could quite reasonably blame it on indigestion.

But then he realised that you tried to sneak into Gale's tent only when the wizard was otherwise occupied, usually right about the time he was preparing meals and seemed to be engrossed in whatever he was trying to make edible.

Either way, Astarion was confused, bewildered by why you doggedly chose to pursue something that the wizard had come to possess. Your tenacity and grim persistence would be amusing had it been anyone else that was acting batshit crazy. Alas, it was the one companion that Astarion bet on to stay sane throughout the whole ordeal. And that just wouldn’t do. Not that he cared, per se. But you being predictable would definitely make things easier in the long run. Astarion had a plan, after all, and he was sticking to the said plan no matter what.

A smile curved the elf's lips as you once again failed to infiltrate enemy territory and were forced to retreat rather hastily - and inelegantly - almost smashing into a nearby tree as you made your escape. That didn't go unnoticed by the cleric, who whispered something to Karlach, making the tiefling almost spit her drink out as she tried, and failed, to suppress a laugh.

It was at that moment that Astarion decided that he would help your poor pitiful self to steal whatever it was that you wanted to get from the wizard's tent. Because it would probably take one or two more failed attempts for Gale to notice, and that would mean that you would abandon your plan, and Astarion would never find out what it was that was worth all this trouble. Not that he cared as such. But it could be some powerful artifact, or a tome filled with nefarious spells. And if he knew what it was, he was almost certain he could convince you to share.

Later that day, as you positioned yourself strategically just outside Gale's tent, Astarion strolled up to the wizard with an air of casual boredom. Gale was busy preparing supper, chopping away at some vegetables and whatever else they managed to scavenge. Astarion snorted his disapproval at the scents emitting from the cooking pot.

"Something on your mind?" Gale chose that moment to speak up.

"Hm? Oh, no. Pay no attention to me whatsoever. I'm just pondering a dilemma of mine, and I am afraid I might not come up with an answer."

"I see, well, may I be of assistance?"

Inclining his head ever so slightly, Astarion could see you slink towards the open flap of Gale's tent, taking a step back to be swallowed up by the darkness.

Astarion smirked.

“I am not certain that you can, wizard. You see, this issue of mine would need a mind that is truly voracious. A certain someone that can unravel the unravellable. Solve the unsolvable.”

“And are you insinuating that I am lacking in this department?”

“Oh, no! I would never insinuate anything.”

Astarion heard something crash, the sound followed by a serious of muffled curses and something that that to a keen ear would seem like you fell over and were now struggling to extricate yourself from something or another. This level of clumsiness was so you that Astarion felt something akin to fondness.

Gale was about to turn his head when Astarion said, “I would not insinuate anything that I could state outright.”

That did it. Because Gale could take needling and teasing when it came to anything except his intellectual prowess.

“I’ll have you know that back at Blackstaff Academy I was often consulted on all matters of things! And often my council was the only one worth listening to! Now, tell me exactly what is troubling you. I am more than certain that I will solve whatever issue this is.”

Astarion saw you emerge with something hidden under your shirt. He didn't know why you bothered, it was more than obvious that it was a book of some sort. Though perhaps you were hoping to conceal the cover. Astarion's nostrils flared.

You were excited, embarrassed and a little aroused. An interesting combination to have to some light reading.

“Astarion? Are you listening?”

Ah, the wizard was still talking. How he loved listening to the sound of his own voice! Honestly, some could really benefit from working on their people skills.

“You know, perhaps being in the presence of such intelligence was enough. I just thought of what to do. No advice needed.”

Gale blinked.

“I see. I’m glad that you are no longer troubled.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t go that far. We are all a little troubled around here. Anyway, must dash.”

And with that Astarion was gone in a flurry of silk and smiles that didn’t reach his eyes. Making his way out of camp, he pursued his target with predatory skill. It wasn’t like you were making it difficult to find you. A broken branch here, a piece of fabric snagged on a twig there. Astarion soon found himself on the riverbank, you not noticing his approach as you were deeply engrossed in your reading.

"Hm.. Where is the part about.. Aha! Here we go. 'His throbbing member brushed against her skirts'. No, I must have skipped too far ahead."

Astarion bit his lip to keep himself from laughing. This is what you were after all this time? Stealing a dirty, scandalous novel? Surely he provided you with enough entertainment for you not to require that type of books? Who knew you were such a deviant underneath that prim and proper facade? How absolutely wonderful.

"Yes! Finally! 'She took him into her shaking hands and pressed a gentle kiss to his pulsing shaft, her eyes asking the question her lips could not form.'"

Your eyes shone with a victorious if somewhat maniacal glint, there was a leaf in your hair, teeth worrying your bottom lip as you read the next passage with feverish intensity.

Perhaps it was time to make himself known. Astarion stepped on a tree branch, putting some force into it to make it snap.

You squeaked and whipped your head around to look at him, eyes comically round and large, cheeks flushed and rosy. And it was at this moment that you lost your grip on the book, making it slip out of your fingers. You tried grabbing it but it was too late. Whatever escapades the Duke and the debutante got up to were lost to you, swallowed up hungrily by the river.

"Well, I suppose now we will never know if he sheathed his sword to the hilt. Though perhaps it was more of a dagger?"

Astarion did not expect a pathetic little sob to be your reply.

"Darling?"

He crouched beside you, thumb wiping a stray tear that rolled down your cheek.

"It was supposed to be a surprise for you," you whispered, making a point not to look at him.

"Dearest, this is not the first novel of that sort that I've read and I am sure that it won't be the last."

"No- I- I wasn't talking about the book. I was trying to use it as a guide, of sorts."

"Well, I'm not sure if taking one too many bumps to your lovely head affected your memory, but we've already had sex. Twice, in fact."

"Yes,” you wiped your face with a swift, jerky movement, “but I wanted to do something. And I wanted to do it well."

Astarion chuckled as he realised what you were talking about. He had his suspicions when he had his wicked way with you, seeing the way you'd eye that particular part of his anatomy before quickly looking away. The elf lowered himself gracefully onto the ground and sat beside you, pulling you towards himself and letting your head rest on his shoulder.

"You've never-"

"Once. It wasn’t good. I mean I-I wasn’t very good," you admitted with a wince.

Astarion knew that he had to tread very, very carefully. It was glaringly obvious that you were inexperienced when it came to sex, even if you tried to act confident when you slept together. When he had stepped out from behind the tree the night when he bedded you for the first time, you walked towards him like a newborn doe, legs unsteady, hands shaking, a bright blush on your cheeks. You were excited and nervous in equal measures, and that made him both irritated and intruiged.

Therefore, Astarion chose not to tease you but took a deep breath, swallowed whatever witty comment was on his tongue, and placed a gentle, lingering kiss on your temple.

Bringing his lips to your ear, Astarion spoke in a low tone, "Darling, make of it what you will, but a student is only as good as their teacher."

Hearing your heartbeat speed up, Astarion smirked. You turned so you were looking straight at him.

Fingers clasping your chin, he pulled you up enough to brush cool lips against your own, tongue flicking out to wet soft flesh.

"Would you like me to teach you?”

“Yes.”

“Then be a good girl for me and follow my instructions.”

Having spotted a rock with a deep indent that would allow one to take a seat somewhat comfortably, Astarion rose and moved towards it, motioning you to follow.

“On your knees, my sweet,” he purred, undoing the laces of his trousers as he took his place. Looking up, Astarion’s eyes widened as he found that you were completely bare from the waist up, your exposed breasts level with his crotch.

"Feeling a little warm?" He cleared his throat.

"No. This is plan B."

"I need you to explain your thinking there."

"Well, if you don’t enjoy my mouth, these might come in handy."

After all, you've read enough fiction over the years to know how one can make use of this particular part of your anatomy.

"You mean-"

"Yes."

"I see."

Astarion felt himself grow harder still and willed his rebellious cock to cool it. He was supposed to be the one doing the seducing. Not the one who was most certainly a virgin mere weeks ago. Except suddenly you seemed to turn the tables on him and he, the suave and experienced rogue that bedded thousands, wanted you to touch him. The fact that he did not feel the usual wave of self-loathing and disgust was odd yet very welcome.

Your hands brushed against the skin of his thighs, so warm and gentle. So unlike the touch he was used to. Astarion looked into your eyes and felt himself relax at seeing the genuine excitement you were trying to be less obvious about.

It was sweet. You were sweet. You wouldn’t hurt him, or force him, of belittle him. And knowing with the utmost certainty that you'd stop if he asked you to made Astarion put his hand on top of yours. His cool hand gripping yours gently, Astarion delighted in the way you swallowed nervously when he slowly guided your hands up.

"Start gently. No teeth."

"Wasn’t going to use them."

"Don't try to take it all in at once."

"Don’t think I can anyway."

"And darling?" Astarion said, noticing the intense resolve on your face. "Please don't overthink this."

"Okay," you nodded.

And then you put your tongue on him and licked a long, wet trail, giving the tip an experimental suck. Astarion's brain promptly short-circuited. The second suck was a touch more insistent, Astarion making a strangled sound that was most definitely not a whine. Emboldened by his reactions, you took more of him in, moving your mouth up and down the shaft, trying to establish a pace.

Astarion's eyes slammed shut and he bit his bottom lip. He had forgotten how good this could feel. Hells, he could not for the (un)life of him remember the last time someone offered to pleasure him in such a way. His experiences of sex, at least from what he could remember, were all about giving at best. At worst? Well...

Astarion scowled, willing himself to stay in the present, focusing on the licks and sucks, and your hand stroking the base. The sensitive head pulsed from the attention. Astarion groaned when he felt your fingers wrap around the base, stroking back and forth along the section where your mouth couldn’t reach. His eyes rolled upwards, his hips moving involuntarily to meet your mouth.

And then his dick hit the back of your throat, making you gag. It was then that Astarion remembered that he was meant to be instructing and you, in your eagerness, had to be guided enough not to hurt yourself. Perhaps your attention had to be otherwise occupied.

"Darling," Astarion purred, pushing you back gently, making his cock slide out of your mouth with a wet sound. "There is something else I'd like you to do for me."

"Sure, I'd do anything to you."

"You mean for me?"

You shrugged, making him bark a surprised laugh. Oh, you were fun! Perhaps not always on purpose, but still. Much more fun than most, at least in his experience.

"I'd like you to take the rest of your clothes off and touch yourself."

At your dubious look, he leaned forward and brushed a strand of hair behind your ear.

"I'd enjoy seeing you pleasure yourself whilst you pleasure me."

"Um..."

"Good girl."

You obeyed, undoing the ties with shaking fingers and taking your clothes off, nervous yet giddy with excitement. Looking up, you saw Astarion watching you intently, a lazy half smile on his face.

He thought he was all that, did he? Well, you read enough naughty novels that you purchased from Sharess' - hood on, not making eye contact and trying to get out there as fast as possible - to have plenty of theoretical knowledge about how these things got done! And sure, perhaps you didn’t have lovers before Astarion. But you had years to explore your body well enough to know what got you going.

Astarion watched as you placed your hand on your breast and then trailed your fingers down, the descent slow and teasing. As a rule, Astarion didn’t enjoy seeing others pleasure themselves. He enjoyed feeling what little power he had over people, enjoyed how they would grovel and writhe just so he'd grant them a moment of bliss, enjoyed seeing them say and do whatever it was that he wanted because please, please, please.

Sex was a tool. Sex was a weapon. Sex was a way to get what he wanted. And he would damn well use all the tricks in his arsenal to have you where he wanted you.

Except a peculiar thing happened. He actually wanted you. Which was becoming more apparent by the second as your fingers pushed your underwear aside to bare yourself enough for Astarion to be getting quite a show.

He could see, smell and all but taste the way your body reacted to touch and to being watched. It made his fangs itch. And then you threw your head back, baring your neck ever so deliciously as you let out a wanton moan. His body jerked towards you, and it took all his willpower not to sink his teeth into inviting flesh.

No, he'd always ask before biting.

"Darling, may I?" Astarion said in a guttural voice he barely recognised.

Your 'yes' came out as an almost plosive sound that was half breathed and half forced out. He sighed appreciatively, so close to getting what he craved. You watched through half-lidded eyes as he put his hands on your shoulders and leaned in, nose trailing along your neck, tongue lapping at the twin marks that would most definitely become permanent. The thought had his hips thrusting forward, cock hard and leaking.

Not wasting another moment, Astarion sank his fangs into your neck, pulling you towards him. He could feel your approaching orgasm, taste your pleasure, making it his own.

"Astarion," you whispered, eyes fluttering shut, the hand not working you into a frensy rising to brush back soft curls. Your feather-light touch on his ears made him groan as he drank, a trail of blood escaping and trickling down between your bodies.

"Astarion I-" the rest was swallowed by his mouth as he crashed his lips against yours. You could taste your blood and then felt his fingers join yours before dipping into you and-oh.

Strong, and sure, and experienced, his fingers had you panting and gasping into his mouth. He moved and you tried to grind against him, but steady hands kept you in place. Your orgasm hit you hard, Astarion not relenting as you rode his fingers.

You two broke apart and Astarion grinned. Yes, judging by your glazed eyes and swollen lips, his plan was working as brilliantly as he hoped.

"Was this fun, my sweet?" He let your head fall onto his shoulder, watching your chest rise and fall as your breath escaped you in wheezing puffs.

"Very," you nodded and licked your lips, trying to steady yourself. "And now it's your turn."

Astarion blinked.

"Mine?"

"Yes. I mean, unless you didn’t like it."

Astarion found that for the first time in his life he was unsure what to say. Because he didn’t actually expect you to continue. Because he was absolutely certain that you just wanted to play with his cock for a while before chasing your own release.

"I did like it," he admitted, looking away in a manner that could be described as uncharacteristically shy, "but you don't have to-"

"I want to," you interrupted. "I wanted to for a long time. If you allow it, that is," you murmured into the elf’s ear, sending a delicious shudder through him.

Your earnest expression had Astarion considering it. That and the fact your parted, moist lips looked wickedly inviting. You wrapped your fingers around his cock, applying gentle pressure as you gave it a few slow teasing strokes.

"You up for it, lover?" You teased.

"Hah! That’s terrible. Don’t do puns, dear.”

“Because you’d much rather I do you?”

“You know that terrible jokes account for one in two murders?”

“Is that a real statistic?”

“It might as well be.”

Looking at you, Astarion felt a wave of something that another, better emotionally equipped being, would call fondness. And then he felt a wave of something that he recognised all too well. He closed his eyes and let himself enjoy the way your hand moved over his hardness. And then he felt warm heat of your mouth and your appreciative sigh as you were finally given free rein, getting to do whatever you wanted to him as Astarion submitted to your ministrations.

He knew that he wouldn’t last long. Not with your blood coursing through him and the warmth from your mouth seeping into his flesh and electrifying his nerves. He tried not to arch his back, seeking more friction, more of you, just more of it all. Because- hells!

You chose that moment to palm his balls, rolling them teasingly as Astarion fought with himself not to thrust and roll his hips. His breath caught in his throat and he released a needy, half-chocked sound as you slowed to trace a lazy path up the spit-sleeked hardness, sending already sensitive nerves into overdrive.

“Darling, I won’t last long,” Astarion whimpered.

Your hum of appreciation just about sent him over the edge.

And then you went faster, as if getting greedier by the minute. Astarion’s words came out as whimpering pleas that did not make sense to his own ears. He gasped and whimpered as his pleasure built.

Whimpers turned into groans and those turned into silence as his mouth opened, deadly fangs flashing, as your other hand ventured further to find that spot and pressed into it with each movement. His orgasm swelled and broke, Astarion not even having the chance to ask where you’d want him to cum. You tried to swallow, but were rather unprepared, almost chocking then pulling back enough to let what you couldn’t manage trail down your hand and his body.

Astarion took greedy gulps of air that he didn’t need, eyes still closed, feeling boneless and lazy, and not wanting to move. He could feel you shift and next you started wiping him clean with a soft cloth, movements slow and careful. This wasn’t the first time you cared for him in such a way, but he still didn’t expect you to want to do something like that, not really sure how to react. And so Astarion chose to just stay silent and enjoy it while it lasted. Because for one reason or another, he was certain that whatever this was would not last.

“Did- Did I do well?”

He chuckled, “Isn’t it obvious? Or perhaps you’d like me to sing praises and commend you on your skill like they would in those novels you like, hm?”

One ruby eye cracked open and Astarion gave you a slow, languid smile.

“If you were in my novel, you’d definitely be more gallant,” you huffed.

“Apologies. I’ll try better next time.”

“Next time? You mean I get to do it again?”

“Can’t imagine why you are the one excited about it, but yes. You get to do it again.”

Your victorious, brilliant smile had him looking away, the tips of his ears tinged pink. He felt conflicted about the attention, confused as to why you’d feel so obviously happy at him being satisfied.

Astarion did not like not being able to figure people out. Not being able to predict what one would do, not knowing what came next had the elf stiffening involuntarily.

Red eyes watched you intently as you put your smallclothes on. The vampire was eerily still as you stumbled about, suddenly bashful and trying to cover yourself up as quickly as possible as you threw furtive looks in his direction. Then he took a breath, as if suddenly remembering that some would deem it a necessity and willed his body to obey him. Lips curving, a smile plastered on his face, Astarion rose in a smooth, elegant movement, still completely bare and seemingly not bothered by being nude out in the open.

A finger under your chin, he turned your head and pecked your lips.

“Thank you, darling. I had a simply marvellous time. How good of you to treat me so.”

His words didn’t have the desired effect. Instead of melting into a pile of feminine goo, as one should have done when being in the proximity of a gorgeous creature, you frowned and nodded.

“Yes. I’m glad. But I think I have to go.”

“Really? Have to?”

“No. I want to go.”

Astarion let his hand drop and watched you retreat with surprising haste, confused about what had just happened. It felt as if he had crossed some unspoken line, but he was unsure when and where he did so. Astarion dressed quickly, with jerky movements, tugging his shirt on angrily. Anger came naturally. Anger was easier. He did not know who he was angry at – you or himself – but somehow it made him feel better. Taking a different path to the one you chose to make your retreat, Astarion ran. Hunting something down and tearing into its throat with his fangs. Watching it thrust about as he bled it dry. He needed to at least sate his hunger if he couldn’t settle his mind.

Evening came and went with neither you nor Astarion uttering a word to each other. The next day was much the same. You communicated through others, but never directly.

On day six, you approached Astarion. He was reading, casually reclining against a tree, the wind playing with his curls and making them dance so beautifully that you almost missed a step and had to quickly catch yourself. Falling forward and kissing the ground would definitely put you in a state not conducive to having any conversation at all.

Taking a deep breath, you decided to just go for it. There was very little you could do to make the situation worse.

"I'm sorry," you blurted out.

"Beg pardon?" Astarion looked up with a cold expression on his handsome face.

Not a good start, but you decided to soldier on.

"I want to apologise."

"Do you know what you are apologising for?" Astarion closed his book and set it aside without breaking eye contact.

"I'm not sure exactly. I don't know what I did that day by the river, to make you look at me with such disgust-"

Astarion made a noise at the back of his throat which could be interpreted in many ways, and you took it as confirmation of your worst fears.

"And I don't know how to fix it! And maybe a simple apology isn't enough, but I couldn’t come up with anything better."

You had thought of how this conversation could go at length, tossing and turning late into the night. You had hoped to sound less pathetic, less needy. But perhaps being honest was the best way to go about it.

"I envy your easy confidence, you know. I never had that. Not once in my life. And it's not about my looks. I just don’t feel like I have the guts to talk about my wants. And I've never felt that I even wanted to… until you. And I'm not asking you to understand or to accept it. But I can't bear you to look at me that way again, like you can't wait to get away from me. So, I want to apologise. But I need you to tell me what happened,” you swallowed nervously, “please."

There was an awkward pause, a moment where Astarion didn't know what to do, what to say when faced with such sincerity and raw emotion. How would he even begin to explain what happened when he had spent centuries trying to avoid thinking about it for his personal sanity?

"I can't,” he began carefully, brows furrowed, fingers twitching. “At least I'm not sure if I can. But,” he paused, word coming out breath-heavy, “that, whatever that was, had nothing to do with you."

"Oh.” You looked away, whatever courage you summoned earlier used up at this point. “I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions."

Astarion rose in one swift movement. You were a breath away from each other, and yet not touching.

"I meant what I said that day. I did enjoy it. Being with you feels... like something else. Something new."

Untarnished, unspoilt.

"But it did bring up some less than pleasant memories."

"I'm sorry."

"Will you stop apologising, infuriating woman?" Astarion demanded sharply.

"I'm so-"

Astarion knew only one effective way of silencing you, so he pressed his lips firmly against yours, one hand finding itself in your hair, the other on the swell of your hip. You felt a tingle dance up your spine when Astarion coaxed your lips to open, his tongue slipping in to tangle with yours. You moaned into the kiss, the tension and worries of the past six days melting away until you felt like you were floating.

Remembering that you did, in fact, need to breathe, Astarion broke the kiss.

"No more apologies," Astarion admonished you gently. "Especially when you've done nothing wrong."

You nodded silently and quiet enveloped you both, Astarion looking at you with warm intensity as you ran your fingers through his soft, silver curls.

"And now, my dear," Astarion decided to finally ask you the question that has been on his mind for the past six days, "I believe we are overdue for a discussion of a different type. Because I simply can't go on another moment without knowing where you leaned of plan B."

And this was when you told Astarion about your most prized possession - the library in the basement of your home with enough tomes to sink a ship. Astarion had never been more eager to get back to the Gate.

He simply had to survive long enough to see this. And then have you read to him from each one. Preferably naked.

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#The sexcapades of the toothy elf #bg3 astarion #astarion #fanfic #astarion fanfiction #baldur's gate fanfiction #astarion x female reader #astarion x you #astarion x reader #roguish cat #bg3 spring cleaning #the kindred collective

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revserrayyu · 1 day ago

Text

3.1 Amphoreus thoughts [part 1]

***Spoilers ahead*** for everything covering the first trial, the fight at the grove and the quick bathhouse scene after, so don’t read any further if you haven’t finished. At the time of writing this I’ve completed the full story quest so be wary if I mention any details that may happen later.

Having us start off with Mydei’s pov and allowing us to use him in a couple fights was so cruel, if only because I spent quite a while getting distracted by his presence and simply admiring his.. everything. His voice actor did such a fabulous job this patch too.

I think it’s kinda endearing how fond his is of his mother and so ready to defend her at any moment. His father on the other hand, not so much.

So, it turns out it really was him that Phainon went ahead and “stabbed.” I figured it was during the trail, but the silhouette threw me off a bit so there were times I thought he was maybe just fighting himself instead.

No harm done however, not because Mydei is immortal or this whole fight is dreamlike, but because Phainon didn’t really hit him.. or Mydei blocked it off to the side. Either way, it’s something I didn’t while watching but yeah, it’s clear that sword didn’t even slice him.

I know people have their concerns when it comes to Aglaea, but the more plotting we hear of her off to the side, the more I enjoy her. I mean, it’s not entirely bad to believe that Phainon would fail his trail sense it just makes more sense for Mydei to own the coreflame of Strife given his lore.

On a less serious note, seeing him chat with some of the kids at the bathhouse and sorta scolding them from being away from their parents was cute. Who knew our tough king could be good with kids? This makes the whole situation of the 3.1 banners kinda funny since we got this tall, strong and handsome as heck man running alongside being Tribbie, Yunli & Huohuo, who are all on the smaller side.

I gotta say that whomever was voicing Mydei’s mother totally nailed it. The anger in her voice was spot on.

No offense to Castorice, but if I woke up and had literal death staring right back at me, I’d be terrified and probably pass out again right there. But huzzah, the notorious Penacony question makes its return.

ot gonna lie, but I’m actually quite pleased with Hyacine’s model. I didn’t have any strong opinions from the few teasers we saw of her previously, but she’s real cute in-game. She’s 100% gonna be an Abundance unit though, yeah? There’s no way a nurse could be anything else.

The amount of hate I see for Mem simply because the thing is pink is wild. I’m starting to enjoy them more and more and I always love catching whenever they’re able to actually speak words.

I can’t wait to learn more about whatever kind of history there is between Aglaea and Anaxa. We see them interact very briefly towards the end of the patch, where he forgets she’s even around and her thinking of him as an annoying child, so the tension is definitely there. I can only imagine how many times she threatened to end him if she treats Anaxa worse than us.

Well, too bad! Rules are made to be broken, ANAXA.

The way they worded this moment of disappointment was funnier to me than I could’ve anticipated.

It must be because the scholarly type of vibe I get with Dr. Ratio, but I originally thought Anaxa was going to be this self-centered guy, but at least he cares enough to put himself at risk for everyone else at the grove. With the mention of alchemy before and “equivalent exchange” now, I can’t help but think of FMA.

So we saw this image last patch too but it’s clearer now that Cyrene was killed by the Flame Reaver. It’s fair to assume she was a Chrysos Heir because of the golden blood, yea?

I know death is Castorice’s whole gimmick and her primary weapon is a scythe, so I wasn’t really expecting some ooze/poison/whatever we’re calling this stuff to appear. If it was shown in a previous trailer, then I don’t remember. Also love how we cycle through all our weapons. We saw the lance earlier while fighting alongside Mydei, we see us pulling out the feather-pen and Mem later on, and now we have our trusty bat back with us.

The Flame Reaver takes no time sending some powerful slashes our way, knocking everyone back in pain and we somehow manage to get those close to Castorice, even holding her up, without triggering her deadly curse? That’s concerning.

I’ve seen her combat, I’ve heard about the passive and I know Castorice is gonna be such a broken unit.. but I just don’t have it in me to pull when her banner drops next patch. She just.. doesn’t appeal to me at all? I enjoyed her more this patch than in 3.0, but that’s it. I see all the purple, the butterflies and the scythe and it just makes me miss Seele more, so to heck with meta, I wanna pull for my favorites! (I regret not pulling for her back in 1.4 each and every darn day.)

I know Cerces was sorta controlling Anaxa here and giving him some extra power to damage the Flame Reaver, but this arrogant smirk is doing something to me. Although Erudition units are probably my favorite, do I really need another wind dps if my E3 Feixiao exists? Who knows.

I remember last patch they said that Trianne only had enough power to launch a couple more century gates, so you bet I got hella nervous whenever a new one was opened. She really came in clutch to save us though.

Returning to the holy city and informing people that their relatives perished during the attacks at the grove was rough, but I’m like 95% sure this old man was voiced by the same dude who did Tiernan back in Penacony.

I like that they do mention the contact we made, but it’s a shame we don’t delve much into how we managed to survive holding death’s favorite daughter in our arms. I suppose there’s plenty time to learn more about this girl next patch when her banner drops. It’s bound to happen again anyway, so long as that one scene of Castorice coming to shield us with open arms in the Nameless Faces trailer actually happens.

Well, I’m so incredibly glad you had some quiet time to yourself without any life threatening chaos to deal with, Dan Heng.. how about next time you take the lead hm?? I volunteer you to be the protagonist next patch.

To think they would hold a silly challenge to see who would stay in the hot baths the longest right after returning from Phainon’s failed trial. It’s even better hearing how he claims Mydei only won because the guy is wearing less clothing.

Sorry to say this but I haven’t a clue on what y’all see with Aventurine and Ratio, but this is a guy pairing that I can get behind. The bickering these two constantly have going on and their endless competitive rivalry is fantastic.

And we’re gonna stop here for now. I think I’m good for only two more posts. Thankfully this parch seemed shorter than 3.0 and I can get a head start on jotting everything down sooner since I actually took a day off of work. (yes it’s because I was excited for Pokemon Day.)

#honkai star rail #mydei #phainon #hyacine #castorice #anaxa #tribbie #gameplay #revs rambles

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moonlitcelestial · 5 hours ago

Text

Chapter 10

Beyond the Lens - Logbook Videographer!Reader x OT8 Ateez

W/C 6,436

🎥 Series Masterlist 🎥

☽ Masterlist ☾

Inspiration Pictures

Pinterest Board Masterlist

Previous Chapter (Chapter 9)

Disclaimer: This story is purely a work of fiction. It is not meant to assume or mock anything about Ateez, Atiny, or anything relating to what I do not know about being a videographer.

Contains she/her pronouns.

The logo in the center is mine. Please do not reuse or copy.

I strongly recommend looking at the inspiration pictures and the Pinterest boards (which will be updating as the story goes on).

General Warnings: slow burn, cussing, conflict, angst, fluff, and obliviousness.

CHAPTER WARNINGS - Angst, overthinking, abusive family members. Read at your own risk.

Let me know what you think! <3 Moonie

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★

You were filming your first official video for the next few days. You had spent so much time with the boys between the first day and now. It almost seemed like you have known them for years. Technically you had, but knowing them on a personal level is so much better.

They had been so excited and chattering to you every time they got the chance about your invite to game night. Most of the time it was Yuhno and Mingi asking you about the games you play and what consoles you have; among other things. San was just thoroughly excited to see the giants again. Jongho seemed the most excited about the prospect of drinking and not having to worry about cameras and repercussions. You knew Hongjoong and Seonghwa longed for a night of relaxing and not being responsible for the other six men. You also knew that would be absolute chaos, especially if there were drinks involved; which always happened at your house. You had hosted your fair share of parties to know that you had enough room to host twelve people and possibly the spouses of your team which would bump it up to fifteen. They truly had accepted your team into their dynamic, they had seamlessly blended into each other. You couldn't be happier with how things were going. Sure it has only been several weeks but the energy was so perfect.

You knew that you would be spending most of your time inside tonight so you opted for a warmer outfit. Throwing on your favorite black oversized sweatshirt and some leggings topping it off with rings, necklaces, and your shitkickers. You grabbed your backpack with your laptop in it, put it on your shoulders and grabbed your travel bag. This one had several days worth of clothes in it as well as some more comfortable shoes. You had packed it because you would be far enough away that you wouldn't want to come back home. It was the opposite direction of where you lived which would put it anywhere from two to three hours away. Thankfully KQ thought ahead and reserved more rooms for your team. You were heading out the night before so everyone could get up bright and early for hair and makeup. You had made sure that your mom knew that you were gone for a few days and asked her to come and check on the giants. Once you were satisfied you had everything you made your way to the garage. You had to take your car, Aria. There was a little bit of a drive and it would be easier to load equipment into KQ’s vans and have all of you in one car than to shove all of you in company vans with the equipment. You popped the trunk and dropped your bags into the back making sure that it was situated so the others could fit their bags back there as well. You unplugged the car from the port that you had installed in your garage. Once you were finished you walked to the front of the car, got in and started her up. She quietly hummed to life. You drove for about forty-five minutes to get to KQ to meet everyone and help with any packing that needed finishing up.

When you arrived you saw several vans and people loading things up. Most of it was equipment. You got out of the car and walked toward the building to grab your personal camera bag before they got a hold of it. Sadly you couldn't take the portal to stream everything to your computer as it operated over wifi. That simple fact meant it would be a pain in the ass getting the film to download from all four of your cameras. Once you got up to the door you swiped your key and the door opened. You followed the now familiar path to the office space your team had taken over. Your bag was thankfully sitting where you left it next to your desk. You walked over to your shelves and grabbed one of the polaroid cameras and some film for it. This could be the perfect way to have some physical reminders of your first big shoot.

“Hi Y/n-nie,” you whipped around to see Mingi leaning against the door frame.

“Hi Mings, you scared me, for as much of a giant as you are you walk very quietly.” He chuckled at your reaction, his voice was still deep from sleep. He must have just woken up and come over here you knew that their schedule was horrendous so they squeezed naps in whenever they could. His voice was sexy before it was laced with sleep, but it was even better right now. You walked up to him with your backpack in hand and looked up at him, his eyes were half closed but he was coherent enough to pull you into a hug with the arm that wasn't against the door frame. He gave some of the best hugs, each of the boys was unique with how they hugged you but he and Yuhno were just enough taller than you to make it even better; much like your team. You loved and hated being the shortest one even though you were above average height. Your head fits perfectly under their chin which was your favorite part. You put your bag down and wrapped your arms around him and let him rest against you for a minute. You had to take a step back because he leaned on you so hard, you had almost lost your balance.

“Mingi, what are you doing?” Yuhno questioned. Once he got close enough he smiled at the pair of you. He wanted to be a part of this hug fest. He stepped in behind you and put his arms around the both of you effectively sandwiching you between the two of them. Your heart leapt, both of the twin towers were sandwiching you in a hug. This was the most comfortable hug that you had ever experienced. You could hear Mingi’s heartbeat and feel Yuhno’s breathing on the back of your head. Both of them rested their cheeks on you. You could feel your body relaxing and melting into the warmth of them.

“Lets pack into the vans” you heard Hongjoong yell across the hall. You couldn't tell if he could see your trio but at this point you couldn't move until they did. Yuhno was the one to let go first, before he pulled away completely he left a kiss on the crown of your hair. He passed you and looked at you with a big smile.

“Come on Mingi we gotta go," he said quietly, Mingi pried himself away from you with a dopey half asleep smile, he kissed your forehead and walked away without a word.

What in the fucking world just happened, that was new.

You brought your bag over your shoulder and started back to Aria. Your mind was trying to come up with some reason for why they did what they did but it couldn't find one. You waved at some of the boys as you passed. Some of their eyes widened as they looked behind you. You turned around to see Wooyoung approaching at a quick pace. He grabbed you and lifted you off your feet and planted a quick kiss on your cheek. How the hell he was this energetic was beyond you. You felt the blush rush to your face as he walked away. Pausing you put your hand up to your cheek, this must have been how San felt after you did that to him. Seonghwa smiled at you before disappearing into the van. Hongjoong was the last to get in the van but he waved at you with a small smile before getting in. You made it back to your car, popped the trunk to let the team put their bags in and once you put yours in you closed the trunk. You walked around Aria and got in and pushed the break to be able to start the car. Once she started up you got in line to follow the procession of KQ vans. Somehow you had managed to get behind the van the boys were in.

★☆☽ O ☾☆★

“She gives the best hugs. You know that?”

“I believe that. She has only quickly hugged me a couple of times. She is so perfect and I cannot wait to be able to hold her without limitations.”

“Her curves are something else, she fits into my arms perfectly.”

“I wonder what it would be like to be able to hold her on that motorcycle of hers.”

“Don't even get me started. I don't think I would be able to resist almost squeezing her to death.”

“We all will have to wait to find out, we haven't even asked her about joining our relationship yet. We will have to be patient, it will happen when it is supposed to happen.”

“Okay hyung, I hope we can talk to her soon. The more time we spend with her the more I want her to be ours.”

“I cannot wait to be able to hang out with everyone. While being in a professional setting is nice, I want to see them be themselves without restraint.”

“I want to see drunk y/n”

“I want to see the giants.”

“I want to see her house, she has an interesting aesthetic and I can't wait to see how her house matches that.”

“I am interested in the game room! I am almost positive she is a big nerd because of how many games she has.”

“Like you are any different, I am most excited for these drinks she has.”

“Of course you are.”

★☆☽ O ☾☆★

You turned to look at everyone with a wide grin. That hug had most definitely started your evening off on the right foot.

“What’s got you all smiley? Did something happen?” Forrest interrogated. The other two hadn't even looked up from where they were absorbed in their phones to notice your grin.

“I was just given one of the best hugs I have ever experienced.” Resting your head on the headrest you looked over to Forrest briefly. You put one hand over your chest to feel the slightly quick pace of your heart.

“Who was it?” Aurora asked, setting her phone in her lap. You had caught her attention now, she was always the gossip of the group. She was also the most knowledgeable because she loved to observe and ask shit tons of questions.

“Mingi and Yuhno.” You sighed. You looked at her in the rearview mirror. She was wearing a shit-eating grin before her face morphed into shock.

“Holy shit you got a double hug from the twin towers?” Aurora excitedly asked. “That’s a dream come true for any Atiny, especially me!” For being a lesbian she would definitely make an exception for Yuhno and Mingi. You had teased her about that fact on multiple occasions, you had only recently stopped because you both were afraid one of the boys would hear.

“It started out just as Mingi but Yuhno came up behind me and joined in on the hug squeezing the both of us.” You turned to look so you could merge with the procession of cars. “But it doesn’t end there. As they were being yelled at to go and get in the van before they stepped away they both gave me a kiss. Yuhno on the crown of my head and Mingi on the forehead. And then as I was headed back to the car Wooyoung attacked me, lifting me up off my feet and kissing my cheek.”

You heard Willow perk up in the back seat before she put her phone aside and started speaking. “I might be reading this wrong, and it is very rare that I read things wrong so take this as you will. I think they all might be flirting with you.” You looked at her through the rear view mirror incredulously before returning your eyes to the road. What you missed however was the look she gave Aurora in the back seat, they were conspiring.

“All of them?” You parroted.

For the love of all things sacred what the fuck was she on about. You’re just their videographer, you have a camera trained on them like 80% of the time and they are known to flirt with the camera. They are also flirty by nature. Could all of them actually be flirting with you?

“Yes, have you not noticed that they are completely different when it comes to you? They are nowhere near as affectionate with us.” Aurora butted in

You thought back to the past few weeks. Yuhno having his arm over your shoulder the entire time he was showing you around KQ and keeping that as a habit. Him calling your face pretty while you were at their practice. Seonghwa resting his head on yours and continuing to do so any time that you sat next to him whether his head was on your shoulder or yours was on his. Wooyoung sitting in front of you and leaning his head on your knee the first day, letting you sleep on him last week, being very flirty every time he saw you, then the kiss on the cheek today. San allegedly sleeping on you, then being the first one to make contact with you after your panic, and continuously checking in on you. He also had joked with you while at their practice. Yeosang sharing his chicken with you when you noted that it smelled good and then Jongho calling you Yeosang’s favorite which he didn’t deny. He also followed you around like a lost puppy when you were around. Hongjoong guiding you with a hand on your lower back any time you went anywhere with him, keeping the polaroid of you and him in his wallet. Jongho not pulling away from your skinship and being genuinely interested in everything you do. He also actually took pictures with you and let you complete his hand heart and the hug. Mingi putting his head on top of yours while you all were conversing about plans for the trip. Finally The hug and kisses.

“Holy. Fuck.” You thought out loud. All three of them burst into laughter. You glared the best you could at them. You could feel your hands start to shake at the revelation. Were you nervous or excited with this revelation?

“What am I going to do?!”

“Go out with all of them?” Forrest asked. Your head snapped to him. He raised his eyebrow at you and smirked. You quickly looked back to the road.

“I never would have thought in my entire life that I would be having this kind of conversation. Eight men?” Eight very beautiful men at that.

“They have lots of love to share, I am sure they wouldn’t be opposed.” Willow remarked.

“You aren’t the conventional kind of person anyway” Aurora mentioned.

“Okay and? None of us are.” You sniped back. Sure you have had your fair share of dating people, men, women, or non-binary. It wasn’t about what they were, it was about who they are that mattered to you.

“Okay fuck off.” she huffed.

“Let's be honest here, having had my fair share of men in the past, I think they are some of the best I have met aside from my Asher. They would be amazing partners, they are already so attentive to you and each other that I cannot help but to wonder how they would treat you differently if you were in a relationship with them.”

“I think they would get even more handsy and affectionate.” Willow quipped, both of them giggled in the back seat.

As the conversation drifted off you decided now would be a great time to turn up the music. The team put together a playlist for drives like this several years ago. You always kept it updated and were happy for the reprieve to the awkward ending of the previous conversation. When you turned up the music it always turned into a jam session. You absolutely loved that you could hear all of their favorite songs while sharing yours. It was one of the most interesting playlists you had, it ranged so widely that there was no specific genre that was most prevalent.

★☆☽ O ☾☆★

“I wonder how the room arrangements are going to fall out. Do you think Y/n’s team will be close to us?”

“We have two suites, and they have three rooms, one for Forrest, one for Y/n and one for Aurora and Willow. The rest of the staff are going to be split up like they usually are. I know that much but not the placement of the rooms.”

“Do we have the floor to ourselves, like just KQ people?”

“That’s what I was told. I was also informed by the security team that they have pretty decent security and because it is in more of a rural location we shouldn't have to worry about hiding out in our rooms.”

“Really? So we can actually sit and have breakfast like normal people?”

“As far as I know, yes.”

“This is going to be so much fun!!”

“We are about ten minutes out.”

★☆☽ O ☾☆★

You had driven for about an hour before your ringtone chirped loudly over the car speakers. All of you jumped, you needed to mess with the settings to make it not as loud. Seonghwa was calling you. You clicked the button to answer it.

“Hey, you’re on speaker in the car, what’s up?” You heard a chorus of hi and general chatter come from somewhere in the background. You smiled at the boys. They always had to be loud when greeting you.

“We are almost to the hotel and I wanted to let you know.” Seonghwa said over the boys in the background. He was the one who kept you in the know most of the time aside from Hongjoong; who did it when he could. Managing seven men who acted like children was hard enough so you didn't blame him when he didn’t communicate with you.

“Okay, perfect, we are right behind your van so we should be there right after you.” You checked the lane next to you as you merged into the turn lane behind the other vans.

“Okay, sounds good, yeobo. We will see you guys here in a few minutes.”

“See you soon Hwa,” you responded. You hung up the phone and continued driving behind the vans.

“He loves you,” Aurora snickered, lengthening the words in a teasing manner. “So are we just going to ignore the fact that he called you darling or?” Aurora put her hands on the back of Forrrest’s seat and leaned up to look at you.

“He did what?” Your eyes widened but stayed on the road.

“Yeobo means darling. You know Korean, why did you not put that together?” Willow responded with a snicker. You glanced at her in the rearview mirror, she was smirking.

“You've seen so many K-dramas you should recognize terms of endearment. We knew your memory wasn't the greatest but simple cute names are something I thought you would remember.” Aurora giggled, flopping back into her seat.

“I’ve never heard that term before, I didn’t know. We generally bounce between English and Korean because they know I am not a native speaker. I am still learning to this day because most of my conversations do not float away from being professional. Terms of endearment are absolutely foreign to me even after watching k-dramas.” you defended getting quieter as you went on. You could feel the shame creeping up the back of your neck. You followed the van taking several turns to get to the hotel. You fell into the deep pool of your thoughts.

Do you love them? Technically you loved them long before you actually met them which you thought you were content with..

Are you content with the relationship and how it is right now? Maybe..

Is your relationship bound to be something more than friendship? Maybe..

Would you want to pursue something with all of them? You had never tried anything like it but flying by the seat of your pants was something that happened a lot.

Could you see them staying in your life if you did pursue a relationship with them? Maybe.. but everyone left so it wouldn't be a surprise if they did.

Do you want more than friendship with them? Maybe..

What were your feelings for these men? Love, adoration, awe?

What kind of love? I don’t know

The dating kind? Maybe..

Are you in love with Ateez? I think so..

Could you see yourself being with them? Yes

The deeper you fell into your thoughts the farther from reality you went. You fell into the deep end.

But how could you be a good partner without fucking things up like you had in the past?

Why would they want to pursue you? You're too plain, they are extraordinary.

How could you survive in a relationship without knowing anything? You didn't even realize that Seonghwa called you darling..

Were they just pursuing you to have a quick fuck like everyone did in the past?

Were they just going to use you to get what they wanted and then leave you?

Would they fall out of love with you like everyone else did?

You hadn’t even realized that you pulled into the parking spot before saying “We are here!” You leapt out of the car immediately after it was parked and turned off. You could not wait to escape. You snatched your backpack and bags from the trunk and started walking without the rest of your team. You kept thinking back to how you really wanted to answer Willow's question.

How didn’t you know? Well I don’t know, maybe because I have not had a long term relationship in ages. It had always embarrassed and disappointed you that you hadn’t dated in a long time; not for lack of trying. You had your flings but nothing lasted more than a few months. You sat back watching all of your friends and family get married and have kids. Here you were at 27 not having anyone but the three giants.

Even some of the people back in America had sent you invitations to their weddings, it had disheartened you to no end to see all of the people in your life having one of the things that you wanted most. Every time you had pursued someone they had always fallen out of love with you or called you clingy so you just stopped. No one had approached you, it had always made you feel like you were the problem. No matter how many people told you otherwise you were the problem. You wiped the tears away from the corners of your eyes making sure to look up so they wouldn't continue to fall. You could hear people talking in the distance and maybe someone calling your name; you kept walking. Right now was not the time for having feelings. It may have started off as something warm and fuzzy but the demons started creeping up on you like a wolf among sheep. This is not the time, nor the place for emotional turmoil.

Fake it till you make it.

Thankfully KQ had gotten you three rooms, one for Forrest, one for Aurora and Willow, and one for you. The manager handed your keycard to you and you quietly walked to the elevator before everyone else got into the building. Once you got to the floor they had booked out you walked to your room and shut the door locking it.

★☆☽ O ☾☆★

“Do you know what is going on with Y/N?”

“She was perfectly fine when we left, something happened on the car ride here that is the only explanation.”

“She even ignored us and her team yelling after her, she never does that”

“I wonder what happened, the rest of them seem to be down too, her energy was off as soon as we got here. It worries me.”

★☆☽ O ☾☆★

You threw your bag on the bed, and gently set your camera bag and laptop bag down on the desk. You had half a thought to fling them against the wall, but that would be an expensive thing to do that with. You walked into the bathroom without even noticing and stood in front of the mirror looking at yourself. You met your own eyes in the mirror. The tears had started freely streaming down your face, you made no move to wipe them away. You took yourself in, your face was puffy and your eyes red rimmed behind your thick framed glasses. You looked down and all you could see were the imperfections. The hips that were wider than all of the people surrounding you. The extra you had on your stomach. The extra you had on your arms and legs. The stretchmarks littered all over your body. You shook your head, putting it down and resting your hands against the sink leaning into it. You couldn't stand to look at yourself anymore. Tears continued to fall down your face and neck, snot had started running and you sniffled. You glanced back up at yourself before looking back down. You squeezed your eyes shut. Your breathing was picking up. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears. Everything was so loud, even in the silence of the room. You could feel yourself start to shake. Your body was heating up, it felt like you were standing in the heat of summer.

Was this the reason you haven't dated?

Was it because of your body?

Were you not attractive enough for someone to pursue you?

Are you too fat for anyone to want to even consider dating you?

Your logical mind knew that it wasn’t true but your demons kept chanting it getting louder and louder. You dragged yourself away from the coolness of the sink and into the main portion of the room and changed into the knitted sleep set that you brought. Once you had gone through the motions you let out a large sigh and plugged in all of your things. You were utterly numb. Taking off your glasses and tossing them aside you threw the covers back and crawled into the bed. Getting settled you just stared at the blurry white ceiling, at this point you couldn’t tell if it was your tears or your lack of good vision. You could feel your eyes slipping into being unfocused as you fell into the hole in your mind.

“For fucks sake, why are you so emotional. Get a fucking grip or I will give you something to be emotional about.” You could still clearly hear your fathers voice as he threatened you. He held a beer bottle and was laughing with some of his friends at your expense. You had just found out that you did not get into your dream school, you had a right to be emotional. So you did what you do best and locked yourself away.

“You are too fat for anyone to want to even consider dating you.” This time it was your aunt's voice that rang through your head. Your fathers sister was the perfect woman with her beautiful blonde hair and little waist. She always looked down her nose at you, no matter the situation. You had grown to despise her and her family.

“You don’t date because no one would love some stupid whore who wears black all the time.” Your cousin sneered at you in the hallway of the school. Her friends all laughed at you and your now ex had his arm slung around her shoulder. He had only dated you because they bet him a decent amount of money to do so. What a great fucking way to start your senior year.

You clutched your head. Shaking it to expel the memories. All that did was make you dizzy. Your heartbeat and breathing were still erratic.

Stop. Please. Go away.

Shutting your eyes tightly you turned to your side and curled into the fetal position in an attempt to get more comfortable. You could feel the tear stains on the pillow below you, you were too drained to care. You knew that you wouldn't be able to fall asleep quickly but you begged your mind and body to comply. You were crying in earnest now the sobs were wracking your body.

★☆☽ O ☾☆★

“Do you think we should go over there to see if she is okay Yuyu?”

“I think only one of us would be best. We don't need to overwhelm her.”

“From the few weeks we have known her she seems to leave to deal with things on her own. I think she will want more of a silent companion than someone who talks things through.”

“Then you are the more qualified of the two of us.”

“Are you sure you don't want to go?”

“Yeah, at least one of us needs to be here to tell Joongie and Hwa.”

“Okay, I’m going to go over now, I love you and will see you tomorrow.”

“I love you too. Go comfort our girl.”

★☆☽ O ☾☆★

Just as you were starting to slip into unconsciousness you were startled awake by a small knock on the door. You got up and stomped to the door forgoing your glasses. You opened ready to tell the person to fuck off. You could still feel the tear tracks on your face.

“Hi,” someone mumbled as soon as you opened the door. You squinted up and saw the tall blurry form. It was Mingi. He had changed into what looked like a different set of sweats and a t-shirt since the last time you saw him.

“What's up Mingi?" you lean yourself on the door. You avoided looking at him so he wouldn’t see your face and how swollen it was. You wanted to snap at him, you wanted to lash out, you wanted to just slam the door in his face. You knew better than to let that part of you take over, especially since he was just here to check on you.

“Can I come in?” He asked, shuffling his feet. You nodded and stepped aside, opening the door further for him. He stepped in and walked to your bed. You closed the door and deadbolted it again. He sat on the edge of the bed and held his arms open for you. He was looking at you with such gentleness, it only broke your heart further. You walked over to him and crawled into his lap. He wrapped his arms around you, one wrapping around your back and the other to cradle your head to his chest.

Everything erupted. You let out everything you were holding back. Your eyes were closed tightly as sobs wracked your body. Your breath came in short pants. You were gripping onto his shirt for dear life. You buried yourself in the junction between his neck and shoulder. You didn’t know how much time had passed but you could feel yourself falling into panic. Your chest was tight and it was becoming hard to breathe. His hold on you tightened just slightly which brought you back to yourself. He held you so carefully rocking you both back and forth, it was just enough to slowly start to put your broken pieces back together again. No one had ever held you this way.

“You don't have to talk about what is going on, but I wanted you to know that I am here for you. We are all worried about you. You weren't yourself when we got here and we could all see it and feel it.” He whispered into the top of your hair. You nodded into his chest, tears spilling faster down your face. You stayed in his arms for a while slowly coming back to your senses. Eventually he moved you toward the head of the bed and laid down with you still cradled to his chest. He tugged the covers over the both of you.

“Thank you,” you whispered. You had regained yourself enough to actually look at him with your horrid vision.

“Don't mention it, I could see you were hurting. I know how that feels and sometimes the only thing that can fix it is someone being here for you in silent support.” You nodded against his chest wrapping yourself further around him and clutching the fabric of his clothes. He tucked some of your hair behind your ear. You felt it stick to the side of your face as he did so. God you must have looked absolutely horrid.

“Will you stay with me?” You knew that if he left you would fall apart again and this vicious cycle would continue for the next few days until you could focus enough and listen to your logical mind. You generally could pull yourself out of it but it took a few days.

“I wouldn't want to be anywhere else,” You could hear the sincerity in his voice. He truly was one of the best people you could have at your side in these moments. He might be a big scary looking man on the outside but he was the sweetest man on the inside. You could feel yourself relaxing more and more as time passed. Mingi’s breathing was slow and steady against the cheek pressed to his chest. You listened to his heart, it was calm and steady, a presence you didn’t know you needed. Before you knew it you had fallen into unconsciousness. He had looked over you to make sure you were asleep before pulling you even closer to his chest. You had unconsciously cuddled closer to him. You were almost on top of him at this point. He looked down at you and vowed to himself that he would do anything in his power to never see this side of you again. He leaned in and kissed your forehead, letting his lips linger for just a second. He pulled away and tucked your head under his chin.

“Goodnight Jagi, sleep well.” He murmured before closing his eyes and falling into a deep sleep.

★☆☽ O ☾☆★

Hongjoong and Seonghwa looked at each other with silver lining their eyes. They shared a wall with you and their hearts were breaking at the sound of your sobs. Both of them clung to each other in their bed while they listened. Before they could get up and go over to you they watched Mingi slip out. Shortly after they heard the padding of feet coming toward their room. Yuhno appeared in the doorway. Hongjoong opened the covers and Yuhno made his way to slip in behind him. They all knew that he would be the best person to help you through this. His quiet support was something they cherished in moments like you were having on the other side of the wall.

“You think he will be able to handle this on his own?”

“I think he is the best out of all of us.”

“We talked about it before deciding who would go over.”

“I don't know how you both do it. I wouldn't be able to keep myself from kissing her to make it better.”

“With great love and restraint.”

They relaxed into each other listening to Mingi’s voice soothe you. Your sobs got worse before they got better and stopped, Mingi had done exactly what they knew he would. They fell asleep knowing you would be well taken care of.

★☆☽ O ☾☆★

“I want to go over there damnit. Let me go over there! Did you not see the look on her face as she walked in here; she was crying! Did you not watch her ignore our calls and her team's calls?”

“I saw everything I was right beside you Woo. And no, you know it isn't our place currently to do so, I want to go help too but we shouldn't.”

“If we went over there all we would do is overwhelm her.”

“Sangie and Sannie are right, it isn't our place. As much as I would like it to be, we aren't in a relationship with her yet. I also know you well enough that you would spill everything before Joongie hyung would get the chance to ask her.”

“Fuck off Jongho. How are you three so fucking level headed? The woman we all like is over there in a terrible headspace and you are sitting here stopping me from doing anything about it.”

“Look, I know you want to be there for her, but we can't go over there and comfort her without spilling our feelings. We are also not the most qualified for situations like this and you know it.”

“Fuck you all for being so logical.”

“We love you too, let's get settled and go to bed. We will see her tomorrow morning and then we can make sure she is okay.”

★☆☽ O ☾☆★

On the other side of your room Aurora and Willow paced. They knew exactly why you were crying. It was because of them that you had fallen into that state. They could barely stand it. Willow had to physically hold Aurora back from going over there. Both of them knew you would want space to clear your own head, which they would respect no matter how much it hurt them. They knew about your rough past with relationships so why did they push it, why did they tease you?

They heard your sobs get worse. Aurora was stomping toward the door before she heard a knock. She flung it open to see Forrest. He stepped into the room and sat on one of the beds. He was always the one to offer comfort in situations like these. He held out his arms and both Aurora and Willow hugged him. The three of them stayed there for a little bit until they heard your sobs lessen. Forrest had gotten up shortly after they stopped. He left without a word heading back to his room. They all fell into a fitful sleep, worried about where your head would be tomorrow.

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★

Next Chapter (Chapter 11 Coming Soon)

Likes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

Thanks for reading! <3 Moonie

Taglist:

@breadedloafs @a-short-ass-disappointment @ateezswonderland @staytinyluv @cherryangel-coke @11glitch11 @neivivenaj @herpoetryprincess @premverse @starryjoong-jeongcheollie @sol3chu

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swiftiethatlovesf1 · 1 hour ago

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Lost on you?

Heyy guys, I hope you enjoy this initial Lando story but eventually, Oscar's (I made up the years so maybe they aren't exactly accurate) , let me know what you think, inspired by LP's Lost on you :) If you want to read more stories of mine here's my masterlist.

2010 - You met Lando Norris when you were both kids, running through the karting tracks with scraped knees and boundless energy. Your fathers had been friends, and it was only natural that the two of you grew up together.

From the start, you adored him. He was the boy with the bright smile, the one who made you laugh even when you were exhausted from traveling between races. When he started karting competitively, you were there with your camera, capturing every moment.

“You should be my photographer forever,” Lando once told you, after you showed him a shot of him mid-race, helmet tilted at just the right angle to make him look invincible.

You had only been twelve at the time, but you took those words to heart.

2014 - You’re thirteen, standing by the track with your camera in hand, capturing every moment of Lando’s race. He’s just won, and as he rushes toward you, he throws an arm around your shoulders.

“You’re my lucky charm, you know that?” he says, grinning down at you. Your heart stutters.

Maybe, just maybe, you’re special to him too.

2018 - He had just signed his contract for F1, and the celebration is wild. Champagne bottles pop, the team cheers, and he finds you in the crowd.

“You’re coming with me to McLaren, right?” he asks, a little breathless.

You laugh. “Of course, Lando.”

His eyes flicker with something unreadable before he smirks. “Good. Couldn’t do this without you.”

That night, when the party dies down, you sit beside him, your hand brushing against his. But he never holds it.

2021 - You’re on his yacht, late at night after his podium finish. The city lights flicker over the water, and he turns to you, tipsy and smiling.

“If things were different,” he murmurs, “maybe we’d be something, huh?”

You barely have time to react before he laughs it off.

“Forget I said that,” he adds, walking away, leaving you frozen in place.

2023 - You’ve spent over a decade by his side, capturing his career, supporting him, loving him in the quiet spaces between races and podiums. And yet, he never stays. He never chooses you.

So, one night, you gather the courage.

“I need to know,” you say, your voice barely above a whisper. “If you feel the same way, or if I have to move on.”

Lando stares at you. “YN, you’re my best friend, but—”

“But I’m not enough,” you finish for him.

His silence is louder than any rejection.

“I don’t fit your life? That’s rich, considering I’ve spent my entire life in it.”

Lando sighs, running a hand through his hair. “It’s not like that.”

“Then explain it to me,” you press. “Because I’ve been here for everything—every race, every podium, every heartbreak. I’ve been the one who’s stood by you through all of it. And you’re telling me I don’t fit your life?”

He exhales sharply, shaking his head. “It’s different. You don’t get it.”

You laugh bitterly. “No, Lando, I get it perfectly. I was good enough when you needed someone to boost your ego, when you wanted someone to flirt with but never commit to. I was good enough when you needed a constant in your life. But now, suddenly, I’m not?”

“It’s not about you,” he insists, frustration creeping into his voice. “It’s about me, about what I need.”

You step back, crossing your arms. “And what you need isn’t me.”

His silence is all the answer you need.

Tears burn at the back of your eyes, but you refuse to let them fall. “You don’t get to do this to me anymore, Lando. You don’t get to keep me around like some backup plan. I deserve better than that.”

He doesn’t stop you when you walk away.

2025 - A McLaren dinner. You weren’t going to come, but Oscar insisted. And when you arrive, hand in hand with him, you know you made the right choice.

Lando is laughing with the team until he hears your voice.

“Sorry we’re late,” you say, squeezing Oscar’s hand before taking your seat beside him. “There was traffic.”

Silence.

Lando looks up, eyes locking with yours. Shock. Regret. Something else. But it doesn’t matter anymore.

You’re finally moving on.

Oscar wraps an arm around your shoulders, pressing a quick kiss to your temple before diving into conversation with the team. You’re laughing, engaged, your eyes bright in a way Lando hasn’t seen in a long time.

And suddenly, it hits him.

That could have been me.

It’s a thought that won’t leave his head as the night goes on. He watches how Oscar pulls you closer when you shiver, how you whisper things to him that make him chuckle. How you look at Oscar the way you used to look at him.

Lando had thought you would always be there. That no matter how many times he led you on and pushed you away, you’d stay.

But now, as Oscar presses a soft kiss against your lips, Lando realizes he was wrong.

And he has never regretted anything more in his life.

#f1 #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #formula 1 #lando norris #lando x you #lando x reader #lando imagine #lando norris x reader #oscar piastri fanfic #oscar piastri x you #oscar piastri imagine #oscar piastri #oscar piastri x reader

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xylatox · 3 days ago

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In Between the Lines | cbg chapter 3!! I'm so excited as the story continues :))

I think the moment in reader's room as she watches the drama is so sweet :(, I absolutely love her and want to protect her so bad. — Just as the heroine closed her eyes and the male lead leaned in to kiss her, the door slammed open with a loud, dramatic noise, followed by a voice shouting, "Well isn’t this just picture perfect!”— and the moment is ruined no :((( (not me being invested in her drama)

Gyu and reader will forever be adorable :( I love them so much and how much their relationship has blossomed.

Y/N’s eyes widened slightly as she reread the message. No Taehyun this time? She thought about it for a few moments. It would just be her and Beomgyu, which she was okay with they spent time together often now, just the two of them but never outside of the library. — this is so cute.

Again, I will always love reader and Jiwon's relationship. I'm glad her step mom was busy so she doesn't find out about Gyu and it's cute she managed to evade her dad too.

The moment on the ice was so cute, I just embraced every single word, I genuinely love them so much.

It's super cute that Gyu calls Taehyun to talk about the time they spent as well :(( I love how both of them slowly realize they jabe feelings for the other.

The moment with her dad is so sweet??? he's so supportive I love it.

Taehyun, who had been silently watching, exhaled through his nose and rolled his eyes. He saw right through Beomgyu’s act. He wasn’t just lending her the scarf—he wanted her to have something of his. A quiet, thoughtful gesture. But Taehyun knew Beomgyu well enough to recognize that he wasn’t going to admit it.— adorable :(((

The ending of this chapter was so cute :(( I'm so glad I finally got to read it.

✧*̥˚ In Between the Lines | Choi Beomgyu *̥˚✧ pt. 3

✧ beomgyu x selective mutism fem!reader

✧ part three, word count 11.6k ✧ summary: y/n, a university student with selective mutism, finding solace in solitude. when beomgyu, a curious music student, starts noticing her, their paths cross, and he learns to navigate her silence. ✧ warnings: social anxiety, sooo much fluff!! ✧ an: when i tell you i crashed out about 30 times trying to upload this.... tumblr kept giving me that error when you paste too much text. so every time i would paste from docs tumblr was like ):< and honestly this would've been out sooner but apparently i don't have patience. so ig i learned how to have patience this past week. i'm nervously posting this bc im worried i may have pasted something twice but i am so tired of rereading this- i will double check tomorrow i just want to post this so bad

MASTERLIST « previous - next »

The house was quiet. Blissfully, wonderfully quiet. Y/N was home alone for the night—her dad and stepmom were out, likely at some event or gathering. It was Friday, and for once, she didn’t have to worry about the noise or tension that seemed to fill the space when they were around.

Y/N sat at her desk, curled comfortably in her chair, her legs pulled up beneath her. The small TV in the corner of her room, just to the right of her desk, cast a warm glow as her favorite drama played. It was a scene she had been waiting for—the moment the lead characters finally realized their feelings for each other. The soft instrumental built up, and Y/N held her breath, her pencil pausing mid-shade as the male lead reached out, tucking a strand of hair behind the heroine’s ear.

She exhaled, fully immersed in the drama.

The world outside her little room didn’t exist—not even the stress of the day could bother her. Just this moment, just the quiet hum of the television, the soft scratch of her pencil against paper, and the warmth in her chest as the characters on screen shared a long-awaited confession.

Her desk was a small but cozy space, the surface covered with neatly arranged art supplies and small trinkets that made her feel at home. Her latest piece sat in front of her—a carefully drawn night sky over a peaceful cityscape. Deep purples and blues blended under her careful hand, the colors rich and dreamy. She wasn’t doodling this time. This one mattered. It was the kind of drawing she’d take her time with, layering colors until it felt just right.

The scent of kimchi ramen filled the room, steam curling up from the bowl resting on a coaster beside her. Every so often, she paused to take a slow slurp, savoring the spice, the warmth spreading through her chest. Next to it, a bottled green tea sat unopened, condensation gathering against the plastic. A packaged strawberry cream bread rested nearby, waiting for when she was ready for something sweet.

On-screen, the tension between the leads melted into something softer. The heroine hesitated, her voice trembling as she admitted her feelings, and Y/N found herself gripping her pencil tighter.

"Do you think... I could ever be enough for you?" The female lead’s voice trembled as she spoke. She was beautiful, too beautiful to be the underdog, but just like any other typical drama she was cast as the loser.

Y/N’s breath hitched in her chest, her fingers momentarily pausing in their motion across the sketch of a cozy night sky. This was the moment she’d been waiting for. The male lead stepped closer, his gaze softening as he stared into her eyes, a quiet intensity between them.

"You’re more than enough," he whispered, his voice low and steady, his hand reaching out slowly toward hers.

Y/N leaned in, her heart pounding in her chest. She could feel the heat of the confession radiating through the screen, her breath caught in her throat. The music swelled, a soft piano playing in the background, and she couldn’t tear her eyes away. Her pencil paused once more mid-air as her attention was fully captivated by the scene.

"Say it," Y/N whispered under her breath, leaning in slightly, almost as if she were the one waiting for the words.

The male lead’s lips parted, pausing for a moment to consider his words. "You’re everything to me," he finally said, his voice thick with emotion, pulling her in even closer to his body.

Y/N's heart soared, and without thinking, she stretched her legs out from underneath her, sitting up straighter, getting closer to the screen as though that might make the moment real. Her feet kicked out excitedly under the desk, her heart fluttering at the confession.

Just as the heroine closed her eyes and the male lead leaned in to kiss her, the door slammed open with a loud, dramatic noise, followed by a voice shouting, "Well isn’t this just picture perfect!”

The moment shattered instantly. Y/N’s feet kicked out again in frustration, a quiet groan escaping her lips as she slouched back in her chair. She stared at the screen, her heart sinking with the interrupted kiss. "Nooo," she whined softly, and pouted at the TV as the scene cut away.

With a huff, Y/N slouched in her chair even more, feeling the pull of the unfinished moment. As if on cue, her phone buzzed on the desk, snapping her out of her dramatic reverie.

It was a message from Beomgyu.

Y/N and Beomgyu spent yet another evening together at the library earlier, chatting and writing about random thoughts. They learned more about each other, really listening to the little details. They discussed what his favorite video games were, Y/N’s dream vacation, and even why Beomgyu had such a deep hatred for mint chocolate chip ice cream. Beomgyu: I just realized I have a test monday. Do you think I should start studying or accept my fate? Helppp

Y/N smiled softly, the weight of the interrupted drama moment lightening as she typed back.

Y/N: Depends. How bad is it? Y/N: Also?? A test on a monday?? gross.

She didn’t have to wait long for his reply.

Beomgyu: Bad enough that I should’ve started a week ago. But also? Not bad enough that I will. I'm cooked either way

Y/N giggled quietly, a soft chuckle that felt good to release.

Y/N: Sounds like fate it is~

She set her phone down with a satisfied smile, but just as she was about to settle back into the quiet of her room, another message appeared.

Beomgyu: Btw, you made it home safe, right?

Y/N blinked, a warm feeling crept up her spine.

And then another text appeared.

Beomgyu: I hope??

Her fingers hovered over the keys again, her heart swelling with a strange happiness she hadn’t expected. She took a breath, her smile softening before she typed back.

Y/N: Yeah, just relaxing.

A few seconds later, another message from Beomgyu popped up.

Beomgyu: Good. Sleep well, okay?

Y/N stared at the screen, her heart fluttering as she reread his words. There was something so simple, yet so sincere about them. A small smile tugged at her lips as she typed back.

Y/N: You too! (:

With a sigh, she set the phone aside, leaning back in her chair. The peace of the room settled around her again, and she let the soft voices from the TV wash over her. Her mind lingered on the warmth of Beomgyu's messages, even though the drama was still playing, she wasn’t paying as much attention to it anymore. The soft feeling of being thought of—that was the thing that lingered, making everything feel a little bit more right. Y/N carefully put the last few strokes on the night sky, adding a shimmer of stars to the deep blue and purple hues. The room felt completely silent now, the only sound the soft scratch of her pencil against the paper as she focused. The drama had finished, and she was all caught up for now, having turned off the TV afterward. It was just her and her drawing now, and the peace of the moment. The emotional tension of the show had faded, replaced by the quiet calm of her room and the soothing rhythm of her hand moving across the page. She glanced up at the clock. It was getting late, but for now, there was no rush. No one was home. No one to hurry her along or pressure her into anything. Y/N set the pencil down and stretched her arms, letting out a content sigh. The house was silent, except for the occasional creak and pop of the old house settling.

With another stretch, she stood up and grabbed her empty ramen bowl, its warmth still lingering against her fingertips. Her strawberry cream bread sat untouched on the desk, wrapped tightly in its package. The faint, sweet scent of it lingered in the air, just enough to tempt her, but she wasn’t quite in the mood for it anymore. She carried the bowl to the kitchen, the silence wrapping around her like a warm blanket. She paused for a moment in the kitchen, savoring the quiet that filled the space. No shouting. No nagging. No sharp words cutting through the air like they did so often.

The emptiness of the house, rather than feeling lonely, felt comforting. It was her time to be free, to breathe without fear of being judged or corrected for the smallest things. She didn’t have to shrink down, didn’t have to hide herself.

After rinsing her bowl and placing it in the drying rack, she walked back to her room, the stillness following her like an old friend. She returned upstairs with a fresh towel, wiping down her desk and tidying up her space. The simple ritual of cleaning brought her a sense of peace, and comfort, a comforting routine before she prepared for bed. Not to mention, she’d spilled some ramen broth earlier, leaving behind a small mess.

As she brushed her teeth, a smile tugged at the corner of her lips. She could still feel the warmth of Beomgyu’s presence earlier that evening, and despite the time she spent alone now, his memory lingered in her thoughts.

She rinsed her face, glancing at her reflection in the mirror, and for a moment, she couldn’t help but let out a small sigh. Why am I thinking about him so much?

The thought made her pause. Her stomach did a little flip, and she felt that warmth again, the fluttering feeling that had started creeping in over the past few weeks. Beomgyu had a way of making her feel like she was more than just the quiet girl sitting at the back of the class.

She quickly finished her bedtime routine and changed into comfortable clothes. She pulled the blanket up to her chin, the soft fabric settling around her as she slid under the covers. Her thoughts were still on Beomgyu. I guess I’ve never really had a guy who’s treated me like this before, she thought to herself. It’s... nice.

But it was more than that. As much as she tried to brush it off, she knew there was a growing attraction. She found herself replaying little moments from earlier in the night: his smile, the way his eyes softened when they looked at her, how natural and comfortable it all felt.

It was also the fact that she thought about Beomgyu even on days she didn’t see him, he always crept back into her mind, thinking about him came easily. Not just because he was handsome and sweet… and goofy… beautiful even, but because he truly cared about her. He wanted to get to know her for her, he didn’t care that she didn’t speak.

It was obvious that Y/N had a crush on him. It was funny how easy it felt to admit it to herself now, after all the time she’d spent avoiding those types of feelings. She hated liking someone, it was complicated and she hated complicated feelings, especially when she couldn’t properly express it. It was just easier to not have feelings for someone, that way she couldn’t get hurt. She was afraid of feeling this way, she knew it could tear her apart on the inside. And yet, here she was.

It’s okay, she reminded herself. It’s just a crush. A small one.

Just as Y/N’s eyes fluttered close, she heard the soft vibration of her phone on the wooden side table next to her bed. She didn’t budge at first trying to have some self-control but it only lasted five seconds until her eyes snapped open. Y/N reached her hand out to grab her phone off the table, it was another text from Beomgyu. She couldn’t help it, a soft smile quickly appeared on her face. Beomgyu: Okayyy soo, I know you’re most likely sleeping by now but I was wondering if maybe you wanted to hang out tomorrow?

Her heart fluttered as she read over the text twice. Beomgyu: I mean if you’re not busy already? Since it snowed all week I figured maybe we could go ice skating, I’m sure it won’t be too busy considering the season just started?

Before Y/N could even think about what she was agreeing to she sent a quick reply.

Y/N: Sure (: sounds like fun!

Beomgyu: Sorry, did I wake you? ):

Y/N: No it’s okay!!

Beomgyu: Okay cool. Oh, unlike last weekend, I won’t force Taehyun to be involved. Just us (:

This was different, this would be outside her comfort zone, out in public with Beomgyu. On top of it, she didn’t know how to ice skate.

Y/N groaned loudly as she realized what she agreed to, an entire evening of making herself look like a fool in front of Beomgyu. How embarrassing, she thought, squeezing her eyes closed for a couple of seconds.

“Stupid,” Y/N told herself softly as she looked back at the text messages.

Y/N: Oh! Cool!

She sent the message before even thinking about it, she cringed overthinking it now, it was too short it felt like she was uninterested. Y/N quickly double-texted.

Y/N: I’m excited, it will be nice hanging out… not in the library like usual (:

Beomgyu: I know, we need to hang out outside of school haha

Beomgyu: How about I pick you up from your place? That way we can just go together

The first thought that ran through her mind was her family, she didn’t want Beomgyu to meet them, not yet at least. Especially, her stepmother, she wanted that woman to stay far away from Beomgyu. Y/N had a feeling that her stepmother would do everything she could to embarrass Y/N and make Beomgyu run off.

Y/N couldn’t let that happen, her stomach turned just at the thought, she didn’t want to lose him. The two had begun to grow close together. She figured she’d just watch out the window for Beomgyu like a hawk. Once he pulled up she would just make a run for it, giving him no time to get out of the car.

Y/N nodded to herself as she thought out her escape route.

Y/N: Yeah we can do that

She then sent another message, one that had her address in it.

Beomgyu: Perfect (: I’ll see you around 6:30?

Y/N: That works for me!!

Beomgyu: Okok please go to sleep, you’ll need the rest! Sweet dreams!

Y/N: Sweet dreams~

After Y/N sent that final message she went back to her other messages to Jiwon’s contact. With a few quick swipes, she began typing a message to her best friend.

Y/N: Jiwon. Please tell me you’re not busy tomorrow. I need to facetime you. I need help picking out an outfit ))):

With a deep sigh, Y/N locked her phone and placed it back on the table, she knew Jiwon was sleeping and wouldn’t reply until the morning.

Y/N wanted to sleep but now she was giddy and anxious about tomorrow. She had too many thoughts running through her mind. What was she going to wear? How should she do her hair? Should she wear makeup? This wasn’t a date, was it?

“Oh god…” Y/N rolled onto her side facing the wall, her hand gripping the edge of the blanket and pulling it over her shoulder, she kept a tight grip on it afterward.

Eventually, the thoughts swirling in her mind were enough to lull her to sleep, the nerves didn’t quite calm down though. As Y/N slept, she tossed and turned all night, even her anxiety crept into her dreams. They were filled with every possible thing going wrong the next day.

With a loud huff, Y/N turned to face her phone that sat leaning against a pile of books. She was trying outfits on for Jiwon, she wanted to look good for when she went to hangout with Beomgyu. “I…” Y/N glanced at her reflection in the phone. “Jiwon, I’m not wearing this.” She shook her head, thinking the choice of clothing items were insane. “What–” Jiwon dragged out in a whine. “Why not? It looks adorable on you,” Y/N wore thick tights, a flowy skirt that rested at her mid-thigh, a long-sleeve shirt, and leg warmers. She glanced at her outfit with uncertainty. “Okay, and I’m going ice skating? Which I have never done before… Shouldn’t I be wearing pants or something? I feel like I need more coverage on my legs.” “Beomgyu won’t let you fall,” Jiwon said quickly. “Come on, this is your first date with him-” Before Jiwon could continue talking Y/N stared at her with a hard glare. “Not a date.” “Sure, whatever,” Jiwon rolled her eyes. “Okay, fine, if you’re really such a scaredy cat about getting hurt then wear those cute pants you wore to my birthday party a few months ago…” She took a second to think about the top option. “That… one cute top you have.. And that super cute jacket you wore the other day.” Y/N couldn’t help but laugh at how many times Jiwon had said cute. Y/N walked out of frame to find those items, she dug around in her dresser with shaky hands. She was so nervous for tonight, she wanted to make a good impression on Beomgyu. Eventually, she ended up finding the clothing items Jiwon was talking about then swiftly changed into them, minus the jacket. “This?” Y/N walked back into the frame, she stood there awkwardly, her fingers playing with the bottom hem of the shirt. “Not as cute as the last outfit but this will do, you still look perfect.” Jiwon nodded in approval. Y/N let out a soft huff of air, finally feeling slightly better that she finally had an outfit to wear. The knots in her stomach continued to tighten as the clock ticked closer and closer to the time Beomgyu said he would be picking her up. “Honestly.” Jiwon started, Y/N’s eyes wandered back to the screen to watch her friend take a sip of water before she spoke again. “You look hot, the pants really show off your body, in a good way.” Y/N’s cheeks flushed immediately, not being able to handle the compliment. “Stop…” Y/N whispered, her arms crossing to cover her waist. “What? It’s giving body,” Jiwon told her, “Come on give me a little pose,” Jiwon loved hyping Y/N up, she loved seeing the light in her eyes and how flustered she got, it made her feel like she was doing a good job at being a best friend. Y/N awkwardly placed a hand on her hip and then stuck her left leg out at an angle. “Okay, so, uhm… awesome. Next time I see you we’re gonna practice posing for photos because what the hell are you doing.” Jiwon shook her head with a soft laugh. Y/N covered her mouth as she began to quietly giggle at Jiwon’s words. She knew she looked silly, she always felt weird posing, it felt so unnatural to her. “So, if he asks to take a photo of you tonight, don’t do that. That smile was so forced,” Jiwon continued to laugh at her friend, not in a mean way. Jiwon would never purposely say something to upset Y/N, she knew her boundaries and this was just light teasing for the two. “Okay okay,” Y/N smiled at the phone, her lips curved naturally this time as she was enjoying Jiwon’s teasing. “That! That was perfect Y/N, remember to smile like that,” Jiwon clapped her hands together as she watched Y/N. “Jiwon, I doubt any pictures are going to be taken anyway… wouldn’t that be weird?” Y/N asked Jiwon in an unsure tone. “Why would that be weird? You’re on a cute date– I mean adventure… Don’t you want to remember it? Post it to Instagram?” Jiwon was so happy for Y/N, this is all she wanted for her best friend.

Sometimes it felt like Y/N would never go on a date with someone, considering how shy and anxious she got around people. Y/N never really put herself out there. Jiwon had dreamed of the day where they would talk about boys and get ready for dates while on facetime. “I mean… I guess?” Y/N said unsure of her own response, was that normal? Did people take photos like that all the time? Y/N bit her lip as she thought about it more. New thoughts of insecurity sinking in. She didn’t want to look bad in the photos, she knew how awkward she could be, it was beginning to eat away at her. “Y/N,” Jiwon spoke, pulling Y/N out of her thoughts. “Yeah?” She glanced at her phone. “You zoned out… I was wondering when Beomgyu was going to be there to pick you up?” Jiwon scooted closer to the camera her face right in front of it now. Y/N glanced at the time, “Oh crap, like in a few minutes.” Her heartbeat spiked as she began looking around her room to make sure she had everything she wanted to bring. “Okay don’t forget your scarf, gloves, wallet.” Jiwon began listing off things to help Y/N calm down, she could see how nervous Y/N was just by her jerky movements and shaky hands. Just as Y/N was pulling her jacket on a message popped up across the screen. Beomgyu: I’m here (:

“Oh god…” She repeated a few times. “He’s here,” Y/N's voice was a bit more high pitch now, due to the butterflies swirling about in her stomach. “Jiwon, he’s here. I love you, bye,” Y/N ended the call not even meaning to say farewell like that, she couldn’t think straight. “Oh gosh,” She said softly, grabbing her small bag that contained her wallet and lip balm. She grabbed her phone shoving it in her jacket’s pocket before sprinting down the stairs, forgetting her scarf and gloves on her messy bed. Her room was a disaster at this point, with clothes strewn everywhere from the outfits she’d tried on, and her makeup was scattered across the desk. She promised herself she’d clean it up when she got home later that night. Her eyes immediately fell on her father’s figure who stood at the window in the living room peering out at the street. Y/N ran over to the front door, slipping her shoes on. Her stepmother was in the kitchen washing the dishes. This was perfect, this meant her stepmother would have no idea about Beomgyu being outside. Y/N gave her father a quick wave and a weary smile. “Who–” Before her father could even finish asking his question Y/N was out the door. Her cheeks burned as she saw Beomgyu was already halfway up the steps, she stopped mid step as she looked into his warm eyes. “Hey,” He chuckled softly, a small friendly smile sat on his lips. Y/N took a deep breath before showing him an awkward soft smile, she slowly brought her hand up as if to say hey back. “I figured you didn’t see my text so I was going to knock,” He explained before stepping backward off the steps, with ease. Y/N nodded her head before following behind him, they walked in step to his car, and Beomgyu opened the passenger for her. She nodded her head to him to say thank you before she slid into the warm seat. Beomgyu rounded his car to get into the driver's seat. “Are you cold?” He asked glancing over at Y/N as he typed in the directions to the outdoor ice rink. Y/N shook her head, she was somewhat sweating due to her father almost answering the door. Her eyes fell to her shaky hands, she made the mindful effort to grab onto her sleeves to try and relax herself. Beomgyu turned on some music before he shifted the car into drive. The music was soft, but not drowned out by the engine of the car. He could tell that Y/N was nervous, so he wanted to try and comfort her as best as he could. He waited a few minutes before speaking so she could collect herself. He glanced at Y/N who was looking out the window of the car door. He took in her appearance, she looked beautiful as always, but he noticed a very subtle difference, she was wearing very light makeup. He couldn’t hide his smile, he liked seeing her like this, it was different.

“Have you ever been ice skating before?” Beomgyu asked, his eyes shifting from the road to Y/N. Y/N shook her head and pressed her lips together, feeling awkward, maybe she should’ve told him last night that she didn’t know how to skate. She didn’t want him to feel upset that he had to babysit her the whole time. “What?” He let out a breathy laugh, “There’s no way.” He turned his attention back to the road. Y/N gripped the sleeve of her jacket even tighter, trying to press the nerves away. “Don’t worry, I’ve been skating since I was like… ten… maybe?” He wasn’t sure if he was a year or two off. Y/N raised her eyebrows slightly at his response, that was a long time. “I used to go skating with some of my old friends all the time, you’ll pick it up fast.” Beomgyu would be lying if he said he wasn’t excited about Y/N not knowing how to skate. It was a great excuse to stay close to her, hold her hand, and keep her from falling. This night was going perfectly for him so far. The rest of the ride was filled with Beomgyu telling Y/N stories, he figured he’d do what he’s best at and yap her ear off. He made sure to glance at her every so often to make sure he wasn’t boring her to death. To his surprise she was listening quite closely, her facial expressions were very responsive to what he was saying.

Once, Beomgyu shifted the car into park he glanced at Y/N with a huge smile. “Ready?” Y/N nodded shyly before grabbing her bag off the floor of the car. “Oh, don’t worry, you can leave your bag here. Tonight’s on me, plus I would feel better leaving your bag in here… I don’t trust those lockers sometimes.” Beomgyu said. Y/N was surprised by him, she quickly pulled her phone out and typed. Are you sure?? I don’t mind paying!

Beomgyu’s eyes fell onto her phone screen, the soft blue light hitting his face. “Please, don’t worry, I want to.” Y/N’s heart picked up once again. Her fingers hit the keyboard quickly. Thank you (: Beomgyu smiled softly at the message before he got out of the car, Y/N following his lead. She stayed in step with him but stayed slightly behind him as if he was like some safety shield for her anxiety. As they walked towards the counter Y/N realized she was going to have to let the worker know her shoe size. Y/N pulled her phone out once again and typed her shoe-sized down to show the worker, they were behind a few people so there was still a ton of time, but the nerves gnawed at her. She had to be prepared just in case. Beomgyu noticed her note prepared and smiled softly, he looked ahead and kept quiet. After a few moments, it was their turn. They both signed a waiver then Beomgyu spoke saying both sizes they needed, that way Y/N didn’t even need to show the woman at the counter her phone. Y/N glanced up at him feeling a bit surprised, it warmed her heart that he did that without even saying anything to her. She grabbed the pair of skates that the woman handed over to her, once Beomgyu received his they made their way over to a bench. Beomgyu was quick to switch over into skates, he opened the rental locker and threw his shoes in. He turned back towards Y/N who was still trying to tie her skates. “Here,” He spoke softly, he knelt down slightly and tied the skates for her, making sure they were tight enough.

Y/N’s eyes glanced around the area, looking at the people around them, wondering what they were thinking of her and Beomgyu. Did they think she looked stupid? Before she could let her negative thoughts spiral into something bigger, she shook her head and looked down at Beomgyu as he finished tying the skates. Beomgyu grabbed her shoes and threw them into the locker with his own, he made sure it was locked before shoving the key into his pocket. He took a deep breath trying to relax his own nerves, he slowly turned back to Y/N with a smile on his face. “Let’s go,” He held a hand out to her. Y/N glanced at his hand surprised by the gesture before her soft hand slipped into his, it fit perfectly. His warm hand wrapped around hers like it was a normal occurrence. She stood up on her feet with good balance. “Walking to the ice is the easy part,” He said, guiding them to the rink. The ice rink was large, surrounded by the crisp evening air and the soft hum of cheerful chatter. A canopy of warm, golden string lights weaves around tall, wooden poles encircling the rink, casting a gentle glow that reflects off the smooth ice. The lights flicker softly, their golden hues blending with the deep night sky, where wisps of snow drift lazily from above.

Around the rink, festive winter decorations enhance the cozy, magical atmosphere. Garlands of pine branches, dusted with fresh snow, wrap around the poles alongside twinkling fairy lights. Festive red ribbons and bows are tied neatly along the railings, adding pops of color against the icy backdrop. Wooden crates filled with pine cones and frosted berries sit at intervals, giving the scene a rustic charm.

Soft holiday music drifts from nearby speakers, mingling with the sound of skates gliding across the ice and the occasional laughter of skaters. Families, couples, and groups of friends move fluidly across the ice—some gracefully gliding, others stumbling and giggling as they hold onto each other for support. Beomgyu turned to face Y/N and took a backward step onto the ice, he did it with such ease, it was natural to him. He stood in place holding Y/N's hand still. He could tell she was feeling unsure about stepping onto the ice. “I promise I won’t let you fall,” He told her, his grip becoming a little more firm on her hand. Y/N nodded, she took a brave step onto the ice, it didn’t feel slippery yet. As soon as she placed her other foot onto the ice she lost her balance. Beomgyu couldn’t help but giggle as Y/N grabbed onto his forearm with her free hand. He kept his promise though and steadied her.

"Okay, okay, I got you," Beomgyu laughed more, steadying her by the waist as she clung onto his arm as if her life depended on it. "You're so tense—you gotta relax a little. If you keep locking your knees like that, you’re just gonna make it harder." Y/N gives him a panicked look, her feet felt like they were slipping slightly beneath her.

"Alright, the first thing you need to keep in mind is balance. Keep your weight centered, not too far forward or back. If you lean too much, you’ll—whoa—" Beomgyu quickly catches her as she wobbles, with a huge grin he pulls her closer to him. "Yeah, like that."

Y/N’s cheeks and neck flushed, she couldn’t breathe being pulled close to Beomgyu like this, his hands were all over her. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting but it wasn’t this, she would have never thought Beomgyu would have her pulled close like this.

Beomgyu brought his hands back up to Y/N’s small hands, and he held onto them gently. "Bend your knees just a little, don’t stiffen up. And when you move, think of it like... pushing off to the side, not straightforward. Like… watch." He smoothly glides backward, demonstrating effortlessly, he pulled her with him.

"See? Small pushes, one foot at a time. You try." Beomgyu encouraged with a sweet smile. Y/N glanced down at her feet and the ice before looking back up at Beomgyu, she shook her head no, she didn’t think she could do it. Her hands grip his tighter, and Beomgyu mindlessly brushed his thumbs across the back of her hands. "You can do it," he reassures, his voice softer now. "I'll go slow, I'll move with you. Just trust me."

With a deep breath and still holding onto him, Y/N hesitantly shifts her weight, attempting the smallest push. It's wobbly, but it works—kind of.

"There you go! See? Not so bad." Beomgyu’s grin is warm and encouraging. "You'll be skating circles around me in no time."

It earns a soft, quiet giggle from Y/N, one of his new favorite sounds. Eventually, after guiding Y/N around the rink a few times, she managed to push herself forward—slowly, but surely. Beomgyu still held onto one of her hands, keeping them moving with his own steady momentum. “Wanna take a break? Maybe get some hot chocolate,” Beomgyu offered, Y/N was quick to nod, ready to enjoy something warm, she was a bit cold now.

Beomgyu nodded and led them toward the exit of the rink, he helped Y/N over to a bench before he went to a small stall to order hot chocolate for the both of them. While Beomgyu was gone, Y/N let herself sink into the moment, replaying everything that had happened tonight. It felt like a dream, like something out of a story she’d never imagined herself in. The way he held her close, the warmth of his hand never straying far from hers… it was starting to feel like a date, even if he hadn’t said it outright. Her thoughts didn’t linger long, Beomgyu was back in no time with two warm paper cups filled with hot chocolate. “Here,” He murmured, as he sat down next to her on the bench. Y/N accepted the cup with a small smile, the heat seeping into her fingers as she curled them around it.

Beomgyu’s free hand reached out, dusting the snow from her hair with gentle, absentminded touches. He took a sip of his drink, wincing slightly as the warmth stung his tongue. “Are you warm enough?” His voice was soft, laced with quiet concern. Y/N hesitated before offering a small shrug and slight nod as she tilted her head. Letting him know that she was somewhat cold. She took a sip of her drink before cradling it in both of her hands, warming her palms once more.

Beomgyu shifted beside her, his thigh brushing against hers. Without a word, he set his cup down and reached for the dark blue scarf wrapped snugly around his own neck. Y/N watched him, eyes curious as he pulled it off, his fingers working effortlessly. Without saying a word, he gently draped it over her, wrapping it carefully around her neck with slow, precise movements. His touch was light, almost hesitant, as he adjusted the fabric to make sure it sat comfortably. “This should keep you somewhat warm,” His fingers lingered for just a moment, smoothing over the soft wool before finally pulling away. Beomgyu was gazing at her with soft eyes, a small, satisfied smile playing on his lips. Y/N glanced up, realizing just how close their faces were—probably the closest they’d ever been. Her eyes flickered over his sharp features, taking in every detail, but it was his scent that overwhelmed her senses. It was soft yet vibrant, it wrapped around her like a cozy embrace. The rich, slightly tangy sweetness of pomegranate stood out first, fresh and bright, as if she had just broken open the fruit herself. Beneath it, delicate floral notes softened the edges, blending into something light and airy. With a light clear of his throat, Beomgyu decided to roll his shoulders back in an attempt to relax. He sat up more straight, and averted his gaze from hers, suddenly all too aware of how close they had been.

Before reaching for his hot chocolate again, his hand lifted to adjust the beanie on his head, tugging it down slightly. It was a small, nervous habit as he processed the lingering warmth of their proximity. The pair sat in comfortable silence as they finished their hot chocolate. Once again Y/N had Beomgyu tongue-tied, his mind scrambling for something to say, yet coming up empty. With a soft sigh, Beomgyu took one final sip of his drink before turning toward Y/N again. “Alright,” He had a playful glint in his eyes. “Think you can keep up with me now?”

Y/N quirked a brow at him, unimpressed by his tease. He stood up, holding out a hand for her. After a brief hesitation, Y/N placed her hand in his, letting him pull her to her feet. Before heading back to the rink Beomgyu threw their empty cups out. Once they were back at the entrance to the ice, Beomgyu let go of her hand and stepped down onto the ice, he adjusted himself so he was skating backward once more. It honestly impressed Y/N with how skillful he was on the ice. Beomgyu flashed her a teasing smile. “Maybe, we could race around the rink?” She gave him a nervous smile and a shake of the head, she wasn’t ready for that yet. She had only just gotten the hang of pushing off the ice, and only with Beomgyu right there beside her. “Come on, try getting on the ice by yourself this time,” He encouraged her.

Y/N's fingers gripped the edge of the barrier as she carefully placed one foot onto the ice. Taking a deep breath, she followed with the other foot, her hold on the barrier tightening as she wobbled slightly, trying to steady herself. “You’re gonna be pro in no time,” Beomgyu chuckled softly as he watched her struggle onto the ice. Y/N smiled softly, she was expecting him to grab a hold of her by now but Beomgyu had other plans. He slowly skated a few feet backward, he wanted her to try and skate to him without his help. “Skate to me,” He told her with a huge grin. “I know you can do it, just trust yourself.” Y/N glanced at the people skating by them, she felt a bit silly for not being able to skate, she felt like everyone’s eyes were on her.

“You got this,” Beomgyu pulled her out of her thoughts. She nodded a few times before she slowly let go of the barrier. Beomgyu was probably five feet away, he wasn’t far whatsoever.

I can do this, she told herself as she pushed her foot against the ice like he had shown her to do.

Beomgyu watched proudly as she began to slowly skate towards him, he decided to take it a step further and began to slowly skate backward so she would have to skate further without him. He was close enough to her if he needed to jump in and keep her from falling. Y/N gasped softly as she saw him move away from her, she was so surprised that she had almost spoken, she had almost told him to stop, that she needed him. The feeling in her throat surprised her, she didn’t know what to think of it, it’s been a while since she’d felt this way with someone she hadn’t spoken to before. Just the thought of her speaking to him had her cheeks burning, she was glad that it was cold out so she could play it off as if the cold was making her cheeks turn color. As Beomgyu skated, his skate slid across the ice a certain way making him slip and fall onto his bum. A small laugh bubbled up in Y/N's chest as she saw him sitting on the ice, she let it escape her mouth as she saw Beomgyu looking up at her with a pout on his face. However, her laugh quickly faded as she realized Beomgyu never taught her how to stop. She wasn’t going fast, so it wasn’t dangerous, but she was heading straight for Beomgyu.

Beomgyu seemed to notice this as well, he tried to quickly stand up but he wasn’t fast enough. Y/N bent her knees more and leaned forward more than she needed to as she finally reached Beomgyu making her balance completely thrown off. Beomgyu decided the best thing to do was to catch her fall so their skates wouldn’t get tangled up, he didn’t want anyone getting hurt from the blades. She ended up falling toward him, her hands instinctively landing on his chest to catch herself.

To keep her from completely toppling over, Beomgyu reached out to steady her, grabbing her upper arms. Her knees gently hit the ice between his legs, but it wasn’t hard enough to cause any real pain.

Y/N’s ears went red, she gave him an apologetic look, but Beomgyu brushed it off with a smile, laughing softly. His carefree laughter made her giggle too, the tension of the fall disappearing as they both shared the moment.

“You okay?” He finally asked her, he slowly began to help the both of them to their feet.

Y/N nodded then pointed to him and gave him a thumbs up, asking if he was okay as well. “Yeah, I’m okay, my butt is a little wet from sitting on the ice but I’m okay,” He laughed, and his hand went back down to grab a hold of Y/N’s hand, it was a natural action, with no hesitation behind it. “Okay, I guess… let’s just skate together, I don’t want you getting hurt,” His voice was soft again. Y/N nodded, agreeing with Beomgyu. As the night went on, the two continued skating and having fun. At some point, Beomgyu made sure to snap a selfie with her, grinning as he held up his phone. He told her it was to commemorate her first time on the ice, but in reality, he just wanted a picture with her. He figured this was a pretty smooth way to do it without making things awkward.

Once they were tired they returned the rental skates and made it back to Beomgyu’s car. “You learned a new skill today,” Beomgyu pointed out as he started his car. Y/N nodded her head, offering him a soft smile.

“Honestly, I must say you did really well for your first time,” He smiled back at her. She knew Beomgyu was just saying that to be nice but she appreciated the compliment anyway. Beomgyu turned on the music, keeping the volume low. Y/N noticed that Beomgyu always had to have some kind of noise around him. She didn’t mind though, she just found it interesting. Most of her peaceful moments were filled with silence meanwhile his were filled with the comfort of noise. He entered her address into the maps app before starting to drive toward her home. Like the ride to the ice rink, it was mainly filled with Beomgyu talking about whatever came to mind while Y/N listened to him, nodding here and there when he would glance at her. The ride felt shorter this time, she wished it wouldn’t end so soon. Being with Beomgyu was comforting, far better than facing what awaited her at home. The cold presence of her stepmother lingered in her mind, making her want to stay wrapped in the warmth of Beomgyu’s car just a little longer.

As Beomgyu pulled up in front of her house, Y/N felt a familiar heaviness settle in her chest. The warmth of the car, the quiet hum of the engine, and Beomgyu’s presence made it hard to step out into the cold night. She stared at the porch light glowing dimly, her fingers tightening slightly around the sleeve of her jacket.

Beomgyu turned to her. “You okay?”

She hesitated, then nodded. But deep down, she wished she didn’t have to go inside just yet. Y/N pulled her phone out, the dim light casting across her face, she began to type a message. Thank you for tonight, I had a lot of fun (: Oh! And thank you for paying! A small smile appeared on Beomgyu’s face as he read the message. “Seriously, no problem, you don’t have to thank me.” Y/N let a soft smile form as she looked up at him. “I also had a really nice time with you though,” He paused for a moment, feeling a slight knot in his stomach. With a deep inhale he continued. “Maybe we could do this more often? Hanging out together outside of school?” A light pink tint appeared across his face but it was too dark in the car for Y/N to even notice it.

Y/N nodded her head a few times.

“Cool, well… I’ll talk to you later then?” Beomgyu said with a soft tone, he was excited that she wanted to hang out more, he was trying to keep his cool. Y/N typed one last message to him, she turned her phone so he could read it. Good night (: get home safe!! It was a simple message but it was enough to warm his chest. Y/N grabbed her bag, before slipping out of his car. She turned and gave him a wave as she walked up to the front door of her home. Beomgyu made sure to sit there and make sure she made it inside before he pulled off. As soon as he was on the road, Beomgyu wasted no time connecting to a hands-free call with Taehyun. His excitement bubbled over, he had to talk about everything. “Hello?” Taehyun’s tired voice filled the car. “Taehyun, it was perfect.” Beomgyu had a huge grin on his face. Even in his drowsy state, Taehyun let out a chuckle. “Well… tell me about it.”

The drive back to Beomgyu’s dorm felt like it flew by as he couldn’t stop talking to Taehyun about the night. He went on and on about how fun ice skating was, how Y/N’s nervous laugh was the cutest thing he’d ever heard, and how they had hot chocolate.

At first, Taehyun was half-listening, his tiredness still lingering from a long day. But it didn’t take long for him to notice the shift in Beomgyu’s usual energy. His voice was still upbeat, but there was something extra in it—an almost nervous excitement that made it clear how much he’d enjoyed the night. He wasn’t just talking, he was gushing, like a kid telling a story he couldn’t wait to share.

“Man, you’re really into her, huh?” Taehyun said, sounding amused but not at all surprised. “I’ve never heard you talk this much about a girl before.”

Beomgyu paused, momentarily flustered. His hands gripped the steering wheel a little tighter as he thought about how to respond. “I… I don’t know, it just felt... easy, you know? I was nervous at first, but once we started skating... it just felt like we were both in the moment.”

Taehyun raised an eyebrow, smirking to himself. “You guys looked pretty cute in that picture. Your scarf looks good on her, yeah?” Of course, Beomgyu sent his best friend the photo they had taken together.

Beomgyu laughed, feeling heat creep up to his face. “I didn’t say that, but yeah, she looked... really cute." His grin spread wider, his mind replaying the way Y/N had looked up at him when he wrapped the scarf around her neck. It had felt like the whole world had paused for a second.

Taehyun, now fully awake, could hear the soft fondness in Beomgyu’s voice, and something told him this was more than just a casual crush. He could practically picture his friend’s goofy grin as he drove. “Look at you, man. You’re grinning like an idiot. I can hear it.”

Beomgyu couldn’t help it. “I... I guess I am,” he admitted, his smile softening as he thought about Y/N again. “I don’t know what it is, but it feels different with her. I want to see her again. I can’t stop thinking about her.”

Taehyun was quiet for a moment as if weighing his friend’s words. “Well, that’s a good thing, right? Just don’t overthink it, man. If she’s the one you’re thinking about, then you’re on the right path.”

Beomgyu’s grip loosened slightly on the steering wheel, his heart lighter. "Yeah... I think so." He sighed softly.

The next afternoon, Y/N sat at her desk, her fingers gliding over the smooth surface of her sketchbook as she absentmindedly shaded a drawing. Her phone, propped against a candle jar, displayed Jiwon’s face—bright-eyed and animated as she recounted the details of Y/N’s night with Beomgyu for what felt like the tenth time.

“Girl, I told you a picture would be taken. And thank God you didn’t do that forced smile thing,” Jiwon teased, her eyes flicking to the ice rink photo on her screen. A grin spread across her face. “Ugh, you guys look so cute together. I’m so happy.”

Y/N paused mid-shading, her grip tightening slightly around her pencil. “Jiwon… it wasn’t a date,” she muttered, though even as she said it, something in her chest fluttered.

Jiwon let out an exaggerated sigh, dramatically flopping back onto her pillows. “Yeah, yeah… you keep telling yourself that.”

“He never called it a date,” Y/N insisted, her pencil moving in slow, careful strokes as she focused on the sketch. It was easier to concentrate on the lines than to acknowledge the warmth creeping up her neck.

Jiwon hummed knowingly. “Maybe not. But let’s be real, would a guy who doesn’t like you give you his scarf and look at you like that?”

Y/N swallowed, her eyes flickering to the scarf still resting at the foot of her bed. She hadn’t meant to keep it there. She had meant to return it, maybe fold it neatly in her bag for when she saw Beomgyu next. But last night, when she got home, she had hesitated—her fingers brushing over the soft fabric, the faintest scent of his cologne still clinging to it. And now, it was just… there. A quiet reminder of him.

Her lips twitched into a small, unbidden smile. “It was really sweet of him,” she admitted softly, her voice carrying the weight of something unspoken.

Jiwon gasped dramatically. “Oh my god. You’re so whipped.”

Y/N’s head snapped up, her cheeks instantly burning. “I am not,” she denied, far too quickly.

Jiwon grinned like a cat who had just caught a mouse. “Mmm. Right. And that’s why you’re staring at his scarf like it’s some kind of sacred relic?”

Y/N immediately turned back to her sketchbook, willing herself to ignore the giddy feeling in her chest. “I was just… thinking about how nice he is,” she muttered, but even she wasn’t convinced by her own words.

Jiwon smirked. “And how cute he is?”

Y/N still refused to look up, but she could hear the smirk in Jiwon’s voice, and it made her want to sink into the floor.

“So,” Jiwon continued, twirling a strand of her hair lazily around her finger. “When are you seeing him again?”

Y/N shrugged, pretending to be unaffected. “Probably at school.”

Jiwon hummed in response.

A comfortable silence settled between them for a moment, Jiwon lounging on her bed while Y/N focused on her sketch, her tongue poking out slightly in concentration.

“So,” Jiwon said, breaking the quiet, “what are you sketching over there?”

Y/N hesitated for half a second—too long.

“Oh, it’s nothing really…” she said quickly, too quickly. She lowered her head, her fingers fidgeting against the edge of the paper. She didn’t dare meet Jiwon’s gaze.

Jiwon narrowed her eyes. “It’s not nothing. Show me.”

Y/N clutched her sketchbook tighter. “Just doodling some animals. Nothing special.” She avoided eye contact, but the way her fingers hovered protectively over the page gave her away.

Jiwon’s smirk widened. “Come on, please! I won’t judge.”

Y/N shook her head furiously, but Jiwon had the patience of a saint and the persistence of a menace.

“You know I won’t leave you alone until you show me.”

With a dramatic sigh, Y/N reluctantly lifted her sketchbook, her stomach twisting into knots. She barely peeked at Jiwon’s reaction, her whole body burning with embarrassment.

Jiwon’s breath hitched. “Oh my god… Y/N. You’re sketching him?”

Y/N immediately lowered the sketchbook, gripping it tightly against her lap as if that could somehow erase what just happened. “I didn’t mean to,” she mumbled, her voice small. “It just… happened.”

Jiwon was silent for a second before she burst into laughter, her voice teasing but warm. “Oh my god, you have such a big crush on him. You literally sketched him. He’s stuck in your head!”

Y/N’s gaze stayed glued to the page, her fingers tightening around the pencil. She knew Jiwon was just teasing, but the words struck a different kind of nerve.

Because it was true.

No matter how much she tried to push it down, to reason with herself, to tell herself this was just another fleeting crush—Beomgyu was there. In the quiet moments. In the way her heart stuttered whenever she thought about his stupid, lopsided grin. In the warmth of his scarf wrapped around her. In the gentle way he spoke to her, like he saw her.

And that scared her.

She had been here before. Letting someone in, getting too comfortable, only to end up hurt in the end. The realization settled in her chest like a weight, her grip tightening around the sketchbook.

Jiwon, observant, caught the subtle shift in her demeanor. Her laughter faded slightly, replaced with something softer. “Hey…” she said gently, her voice careful. “You okay?”

Y/N forced a smile, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Yeah. Just… thinking.”

Jiwon studied her for a moment before nodding. “Just don’t overthink yourself into a hole, okay? Beomgyu’s not like that.”

Y/N swallowed hard, her eyes flickering back to the sketch. She wanted to believe that.

She really did.

But the fear still lingered, unshakable. Would he prove her wrong? Or would this end like all the others? For now, she didn’t have an answer. Before the conversation could continue, a soft knock tapped against her bedroom door. Panic flared in Y/N’s chest like a struck match. Without thinking, she flipped her sketchbook to a blank page, the pencil nearly slipping from her fingers. Her grip tightened around her phone. “I gotta go,” she whispered hurriedly, ending the call before Jiwon could respond. She set the phone down carefully, as if pretending nothing had happened would erase any evidence of it.

The silence that followed made her pulse race. She didn’t speak, but after a moment, the door creaked open, and her father peeked his head inside. His expression was hesitant, searching. When he spotted her sitting at her desk, he stepped in, closing the door softly behind him.

“Hey,” he said gently.

Y/N glanced up at him, offering a small, cautious smile. She wasn’t sure why he was here, but she waited, hands resting stiffly on her lap, her fingers twitching slightly. The air between them was quiet, uncertain.

“I just wanted to check in on you,” he said after a beat, his voice careful, like he was afraid of overstepping. “You rushed out of the house yesterday.”

Her chest tightened slightly. She had. And she hadn’t looked back.

As her father’s gaze drifted toward her desk, something else caught his attention. A paper, slightly off to the side, where the bright red 100% stood out against the crisp white page. A test. Multiple-choice answers were sloppily circled.

His brows lifted. “Hey, 100?” He stepped closer, picking up the paper to look at it properly. “That’s awesome.”

A flicker of warmth spread through her. Y/N ducked her head slightly, a shy smile tugging at her lips. Moments like this—when it was just them, without the tension of her stepmother’s presence—were rare. She wished they weren’t. She wished she could talk to him more, let him into her world the way she used to when she was younger. But she didn’t know how anymore.

“Did you have a good time last night?” he asked, his voice casual, but his stance betrayed him. He shifted slightly, hands in his pockets, the way he always did when he felt awkward.

Y/N gave him a small nod, her eyes dropping back to the blank page of her sketchbook.

Her father hesitated, then added, “He seemed like a nice guy.”

Y/N stiffened. Her fingers clenched slightly against the edge of her desk, and a grimace flickered across her face before she could stop it. This—this—was the last thing she wanted to talk about with her dad. It was hard enough processing it with Jiwon teasing her about it.

“Okay… okay, I’ll leave it,” he said, raising his hands in surrender. There was the faintest trace of amusement in his voice, but he let it go. “Just wanted to make sure you had a nice night.”

She pressed her lips together into an awkward smile, glancing up at him briefly.

A beat of silence.

Then, in a quieter voice, he said, “I’m proud of you, you know.”

Y/N’s head lifted in surprise.

“For getting out there,” he continued, his tone sincere. “I know it’s not easy for you.” He gave her shoulder a gentle pat, something warm and steady in the gesture, before turning toward the door.

Y/N watched him go, her chest tightening—not in anxiety this time, but in something softer. Warmer.

She barely heard the door click shut before she exhaled, sinking back into her chair. The words settled inside her, wrapping around the parts of her that often felt unseen.

I’m proud of you.

Her gaze lingered on the empty doorway for a few more seconds, soaking in the quiet comfort of the moment.

Then, finally, she turned back to her desk. Without hesitation, she reached for her phone and pulled up the ice rink photo.

Jiwon was right. Beomgyu had been lingering in her thoughts long after the night had ended. She turned back to the sketch of Beomgyu.

Her fingers moved instinctively, pencil gliding across the page, sketching out the curve of his smile, the messy strands of his hair that fell into his eyes. But no matter how much detail she added—the softness of his features, the light in his gaze—she knew it wasn’t enough.

Her art could never quite capture how beautiful he actually was. But still, she kept drawing.

Because if she couldn’t say it out loud, at least she could pour it into something real. Something she could hold in her hands.Something just for herself.

A few hours had passed, Y/N was now at the café, working through her shift. Today, the schedule was overstaffed, which usually meant one thing for her—cleaning duty. It wasn’t that she minded tidying up; in fact, she liked keeping things in order. But days like this always made her feel a little out of place. While her coworkers huddled behind the counter, laughing and chatting freely, she scrubbed surfaces and organized supplies, an outsider in the very place she worked.

They weren’t mean to her. They acknowledged her presence and smiled in passing, but they never truly included her. Every time she finished a task, another would be handed to her without question, as if her silence made her the default choice for the grunt work. It wasn’t their fault, she supposed. It was easier this way—for everyone. Still, she couldn’t help but wish they’d talk to her the way they talked to each other.

At least there was Hajoon. He was different from the others, always making an effort to ensure she was comfortable. He didn’t just give her tasks—he showed her how to do things, explained the ins and outs of the café, and most importantly, treated her like she was part of the team. She was grateful for him.

With a quiet sigh, Y/N wiped down the large café windows, watching as her coworkers joked around at the register. The glass gleamed under her touch, reflecting the warm glow of the café lights. She was exhausted, her arms aching from the repetitive motion. She just wanted to go home, curl up in bed, and disappear into the comfort of her favorite drama.

The chime of the front door startled her from her thoughts. She turned, her heart stuttered at the sight. It was Beomgyu, Taehyun following behind him.

Her grip on the cloth tightened instinctively. The moment Beomgyu spotted her, he grinned, his entire face lighting up. He raised a hand in an enthusiastic wave before heading to the counter with Taehyun to order.

Y/N hesitated, debating whether she should go over and greet them, but instead, she remained rooted in place, forcing herself to focus on her task. She stole quick glances their way, watching as they laughed and chatted while waiting for their drinks. Beomgyu looked so effortlessly comfortable, so naturally vibrant, that it made her chest ache.

Once they had their drinks, the two of them didn’t head to an open table near the back like she expected. The two men sat at the one closest to where she was cleaning. Her stomach flipped.

“Hey,” Beomgyu greeted her with a smile, his voice warm and familiar.

Taehyun gave her a small nod in greeting, his expression soft.

Y/N swallowed and lifted a hand in a small wave. Then, remembering something, she held up a finger, silently asking them to wait a moment before slipping behind the counter. She dug through her bag, fingers brushing against the soft fabric, and pulled out Beomgyu’s scarf. She had neatly folded it before her shift, making sure it stayed clean. As she returned to their table, she hesitated for just a second before holding it out to him.

Beomgyu blinked, momentarily surprised. “Oh… wait, did you bring your own scarf today then?”

Y/N shook her head.

Beomgyu frowned, then, with a stubborn grin, pushed the scarf back toward her. “Then keep it again. I’m fine without it.”

Y/N tilted her head, questioning if he was sure.

Beomgyu nodded. “We were thirsty, so I figured we’d stop by and see you.”

Something warm spread in her chest, that new feeling that she began to welcome instead of shy away from it. She pulled out her phone, fingers tapping quickly across the screen.

How are you guys?

Beomgyu glanced at her screen and smiled. “We’re good. Had a lazy Sunday, honestly.”

From the counter, two of her coworkers watched with mild curiosity. They had never seen Y/N interact like this before. To them, she had always been quiet, isolated. But here she was, engaging—laughing silently, typing responses, exchanging glances filled with an ease they had never witnessed. One of the girls, Juha, tapped a finger against the counter, making a mental note. Maybe they had been wrong to assume she didn’t want to be included.

Back at the table, Beomgyu suddenly leaned forward. “Oh, hey… next weekend, there’s gonna be this party. Did you maybe want to come?” He bit his lip slightly, his gaze searching hers. “No pressure, I just thought you could meet some more of my friends.”

Y/N froze.

A party.

Her mind immediately conjured images of crowded rooms, loud music, and unfamiliar faces pressing in on her. The thought alone made her hands clam up. She’d never been to a college party before—what if it was too much? What if she got overwhelmed? What if people expected her to talk? Was it like what she saw in movies?

Before she could respond, Taehyun cut in. “Wait, that’s not next weekend.”

Beomgyu frowned. “What? Dude, yeah it is.”

“No. It’s not. Check the group chat.”

Beomgyu sighed, pulling out his phone to scroll through his messages. His lips pressed together when he saw Taehyun was right. Taehyun chuckled, a smug smile sat on his face.

“Well,” Beomgyu looked back up at her with an easy grin, “not this upcoming weekend, but the one after. So I guess you’ll have more time to think about it.”

Y/N exhaled slowly, relieved for the extra time but still uncertain. She wanted to go, she wanted to say yes. But she wasn’t sure if she could handle it, this was something way too out of her comfort zone.

“But uh, if you’re not working this upcoming weekend, maybe we could still hang out?” Beomgyu continued, shifting slightly. “Maybe a movie at my place?”

Y/N hesitated, then quickly checked her work schedule. She turned her phone to show him, her shift ended late on Saturday.

“8:30 too late for you to come over?” Beomgyu asked.

She shook her head.

“Perfect. It’s a date then.” The words left his mouth before he could stop them.

Both of them stiffened.

Y/N felt her entire face heat up. Her brain short-circuited. Date?

Beomgyu’s eyes widened as realization dawned, his expression morphing into pure panic. “I mean—uh—hangout? Not a date. Or—” He groaned, rubbing his temples. “Oh my god.”

Taehyun let out a quiet, suffering sigh. “Wow. That was painful.”

Beomgyu opened his mouth to dig himself into a deeper hole, but Y/N quickly typed out a response, her hands trembling slightly.

Sounds fun! I’d like to watch a movie (: Don’t sweat it!!

Beomgyu read her message and let out a breath. “Perfect. I’ll text you later about it.”

Before they could say more, her coworker called her name. Y/N shot Beomgyu and Taehyun a small wave before disappearing to the back. They needed her to handle a few things in the back of the store before her shift ended.

The moment she was gone, Taehyun turned to Beomgyu, deadpan. He couldn’t believe his best friend. “Dude. That was awful.”

Beomgyu groaned, dropping his head into his hands. “I know.”

“But,” Taehyun shifted in his seat, a slight smirk appeared, before he took a sip of his drink, “she still said yes.” Y/N stepped into the storage room, the air cooler and quieter than the café outside. She set down Beomgyu’s scarf on a nearby shelf and ran her hands over her warm cheeks, she exhaled a breath she hadn't realized she was holding.

A date.

Her fingers trembled slightly as she reached for the first box of supplies, stacking cups into their designated spot. The word played on repeat in her mind, making her stomach twist in nervous knots. Beomgyu hadn’t even meant to say it, that much was clear from how flustered he got afterward—but still, the thought of it sent a rush of heat down her spine.

But suddenly her thoughts began to wander toward the party.

Her hands slowed as she tried to picture it. Conversations she wouldn’t be able to escape from. Would Beomgyu stay by her side the whole time? Would she even belong there?

She swallowed hard and focused back on sorting the lids and straws. It wasn’t like she had to say yes. She could just not go, save herself from embarrassment.

But the way Beomgyu had looked at her, the hopeful smile on his face, the one that made her chest tighten. She liked spending time with him. Even now, just knowing he had come here to see her made her feel lighter.

Her hands found the soft fabric of his scarf, still resting on the shelf beside her. She clenched it gently, then exhaled, trying to push away the doubts clouding her mind.

One thing at a time, she told herself. The hangout was first. Just a movie, something familiar and safe. She could handle that. As for the party… well, she had time to think about it.

✧ taglist: @brrytears @tubasmiracle @sseishiross @dalkom-han

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