#I have some sort of switch between something being mine and something being MINE

[tc-doherty]

Okay I think I really have Stupid Bitch Brain Disease(tm) in the way that like. I post writing in the way that a mother cat takes her kittens for a walk in the woods and then comes home without them

The more people know about any project that I'm working on, the less interested in it I am and the more exposure something I've done has, the less "mine" it is and the less attached I am to my own characters, even ones that I've had for really long time

I don't know if that's like. super compartmentalization or what.

Other people talk about or draw my characters (outside of like getting commissions or stuff from friends or whatever) and I'm just like "oh, the kids are going to college, see you never"

I found this very strange with Second Chances because for so long I was not even willing to let anybody look at it and the story was so personal to me, and now that I've been editing it with an intent to publish and have seen design sketches from the illustrator all of that is almost totally gone

It's still definitely a story that means a lot to me but my attitude towards it now that it has sort of made an entrance into the world is totally different almost overnight.

The relief that I feel with being "done" done with something, like finishing the final draft of Dragon's Choice is really like I'm shutting a door and never looking at it again, it's just not MINE anymore in some way that matters to how my mind categorizes things. Does that happen to anybody else?

[httpdwaekki]

fixation | l.f.

summary: you and felix get high before tensions start to rise and who are you to deny your favorite sunshine.

wc: 2.2k

warnings: MDNI 18+ ONLY (minors and ageless blogs WILL be blocked), both felix n the reader are high, smut, nipple play, clit licking/sucking, switch (both), fingering, ddlg (if you really squint), felix calls the reader mama (it felt right in the moment idk how i'm feeling about it), probably more read at your own risk.

a/n: inspired by @felixknow ‘s hannie’s🍒 fixation fic. idk how i’m feeling about this one chat, but i’m kinda obsessed with it at the same time. i hope you all enjoy, remember to eat, drink water and take your meds, ily <3.

hannie’s vers. | my library

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(images are not mine! credit to owners!)

felix was known for his love of physical touch.

you literally could not find him not touching someone in some sort of way. so much so that you give him the unoriginal title of ‘cuddle bug.’ now this was also true tenfold when he was high.

anytime you got high with him, he’d always somehow find himself on top of you, and 9 times out of 10, with his head on your boobs.

you both were sat  on your bed, a couple of hits deep, when he feels the need to touch you. you were propped up on some pillows on your side, face smushed into a random plushie as you were invested in whatever youtube video was on your phone.

he makes his way over to you from the other side of the bed. he inserts himself in the little space between you and your phone cause you to lean back.

he pushes you fully in your back, before flooping down onto you, his head on your tits. you thought nothing of it, you going back to your video, felix mindless scrolling on twitter. 

a few minutes go by before felix lets out a laugh. he turns his phone to you, showing you something he found scrolling. “this is me.” what was it? literally just a picture of tits, a meme of spongebob smiling big and the caption ‘me when boob’.

“no shot you’re looking at other boobs while laying on mine” you tease. he sits up to defend himself but you won’t here it “foul! foul i’ll tell you! are mine not good enough for you?” 

you were enjoying this too much, felix’s freckled face was red the more flustered he got. “no no! i love your boobs! they’re the best!” you kept egging him, finding it cute as he tried to defend himself.

“suuure they are, i’m sure you tell all the girls that.” unbeknownst to you, you struck a cord. you had forgotten how sensitive the precious sunshine became when he was inebriated.

“no, that’s not true.” he mumbled, causing you to sit up. “hey hey, lix, i’m joking bug, i’m sorry.” you rub his thigh, hoping to soothe him.

he looks over at you with a pout. “don’t do that.” he playfully hits you, pulling a giggle from you. “i’m sorry, i’m sorry.” you squeal, as he toss both your phones away before he throws more playful hits your way.

you throw yourself back, attempting to protect yourself from his attacks. eventually he halts his attacks, finding himself straddling your hips, leaning over you, both of you breathing slightly heavier. you both feel something shift, the tension becoming thicker . 

“you know, i think i deserve something special for you being mean.” your mind hazy not just from the weed but now felix’s presence over you.

“what do you have in mind?” you ask softly. not breaking eye contact, he brings one hand up to cover your clothed tit, giving it a light squeeze. “i think you should let me show you how much love them.” his deep voice sending shockwaves through your system. 

you give him a soft nod, keeping your eyes on his. you had taken your bra off almost as soon as both of you had entered your apartment, you hated the way the underwire felt, especially when he laid on them. 

so you could feel every agonizing movement he made, brushing your senstive bud each time. you watch as he brings himself down, making himself eye level with the now hardened bud.

he brushes his thumb over it, revealing it through the fabric. he takes the bud in his mouth over your shirt, keeping eye contact with you, catching every glimpse of your face he can get.

he alternates between sucking it and flicking his tongue around it. he brings his hand to your other tit, making that peak hard on contact.

the combined stimulation, caused you to let out a soft moan. he pulls away from you, causing a whine to leave you.

“does that feel good mama?” you nod your head, brain too fuzzy to form words. you were sure it was the weed but something about your mind already hazy made this feel that much better.

he places a kiss to the wet peak before reaching down, and pulling at the hem of your shirt, “lean up for me.” he taps the side of your boobs with his free hand. you knew deep down he only did that to see you tit jiggle a bit.

he pulls the shirt off as you lean forward, tossing it somewhere in the room. he kisses the nipple he has had been sucking for the past minute or so before moving to the other one.

he places a kiss to it once again before taking it in his mouth fully. you let out a breathy moan, finally feel his mouth on you. he lets out a moan, sucking the hardened bud happily. you felt like you were on cloud 9, you wrapped your arms around him, one around his shoulder the other in his hair.

he grazed your nipple with his teeth causing you to let out a squeak. “lix please.” you begged, your thighs pressing together. “what’s wrong, hm? you feeling needy.” you pout at his words nodding your head again.

“don’t worry mama, i got you.” he smiles, before taking your nipple between his teeth once more.

you let out a whimper, his voice and actions taking over your senses completely. your hands fisting his soft locks as he continues his work. “lix please.” 

he ignores your pleas, simply too invested in softly sucking your chest. he becomes dazed, cheek pressing against your soft flesh as he relaxes into you. “god, you’re fucking perfect.” he says releasing your nipple for a moment.

he gives it a soft blow before giving it one last lick and kiss before moving to the other side once more.

he melts into you once again, his cheek pressed to you as he lazily sucks. he had his hand playing with your other boob, pulling yet another whine from you.

“baby boy,” you moan, head falling back at the stimulation. “as pretty as you look with my nipple in your mouth i need something more.” he pulls back, pout evident on his freckled face.

“but they feel so nice to play with.” his hands still pawing at them, rolling your nipples between his fingers. you grab his hands, intertwining your fingers. “i know baby but i think i’m gonna go insane if you don’t do something else in the next 10 seconds.” 

his cheeks flush before you pull him down to you. you capture his lips in a feverish kiss, taking one of your hands to card through his soft strands. he moans into your mouth as you gently tug at them, scratching his scalp softly.

his free hand makes its way to the side of your breast, playing with it once more. “have i just unlocked an obsession for my boobs in you.” you ask, pulling away from him, breathing heavy.

he gives you a confused look, “what do you mean just unlocked? i have my face in your tits half the time for a reason.” he says like it’s obvious.

you let out a giggle as he leans down, placing kisses on your jaw before making his way down. he stops at your boobs once again. “felix i swear to god i won’t let you play on them again.” you threaten, cause him to shoot up.

“that seems a bit drastic no?” you roll your eyes, “i don’t care, please.” you whine, feeling yourself going insane at the lack of stimulation. “okay, okay, i’m sorry.” he places one last kiss to each nipple before making his way down.

he trails a bunch of kisses across your soft tummy, one to each hip bone before pulling down your shorts. “fuck angel,” he breathes as he spreads your legs, staring at the wet patch on your light blue panties.

he places a kiss to it before rubbing small circles with his thumb. “ah.” you moan, at the slight stimulation. “lixie, please.” your mind is so far gone and he’s barely touched you. between him and the weed, it was fucking intoxicating.

“i know baby, i know,” he reassures, his voice dropping an octave or two. he’s rubbing smalls circles to your clothed clit, mesmerized by the growing wet patch darken the fabric.

“all this because of me?” he asks, looking back to you. you nod, pout present on your lips, “all you lixie.” you mumbled. he places once last kiss to the wet patch before removing those as well.

“look at this pretty pussy hm?” he spreads your lips apart, eyes sparkling as he takes in the sight of your glistening cunt.

he licks a long stripe from your wet entrance up to your bundle of nerves. he latches onto it, giving it a harsh suck. “ah! fuck.” you moan, back arching as you reach for the closest thing for you to hold, which happened to be a stuffie.

you stuff your face in its tummy and felix expertly plays with your swollen clit. you turn your head to the side moaning into the soft toy and he slips a finger in.

he pulls away, but his finger keeps thrusting into you. “no, no, my sweet girl, let me hear you baby.” his free hand rubbing your inner thigh, as he places kisses all around your clit.

“ lixie,” you cry, turning to look at him while tucking the plushie into your chest. “i know mama, am i making you feel good?” he asks between kisses.

“yes, yes, it feels so good, more please.” you beg, you needed more, you needed your senses completely overwhelmed by him.

he adds a second finger before completely taking your clit in his mouth once more. “ah,” you cry, back arching at the added stimulation. “lixie please, don’t stop.” 

the weed in your system was making everything feel euphoric. he takes the hand that was rubbing soothing circles to your thigh to spread you out, giving him easier access to your pretty clit.

you moan, your hand coming up to squeeze your tit, finger brushing your peaked bud.

“look at you,” he pauses for a moment to flick your clit once more. “so gorgeous for me,” he gives the bundle a suck before grazing his teeth against the nerves, pulling a high pitched moan from you.

“sounding so pretty for me hm?” he speeds up his fingers, curling them into that gummy spot, sending you into a state of pure bliss. “ah!” you scream, breathing heavy, head thrown back.

“fe-felix, p-please, i’m gonna c-cum.” you manage to stutter, your senses fully overtaken by him. “yeah? my pretty girl gonna cum?” he slips a third finger in, causing your eyes to roll back into you head.

“yes, yes, please, li-lixie, i can’t-“ you cut yourself off with a moan, it was feeling almost too good but you needed your release more than air in that moment.

he ignores your comment. “my baby playing with her pretty tits for me,” he blows on your clit, causing you to squeeze and brush your sensitive nipple. “play with your nipple for me baby.” you follow what he says, letting out a pornographic moan.

“felix p-please.” you cry, tears collecting in your eyes as the coil in your tummy becomes tighter and tighter. “come on angel, show me how good i’m making you feel.”

his fingers become impossibly faster, his mouth attached to your clit, sucking it into his mouth while his tongue flicks it.

you scream at the stimulation, your hips rocking against his face, chasing your release. plushie in a death grip to your chest and you roll your nipple between your fingers.

“felix!” you moan as the coil snaps, feeling everything and nothing at the same time. he works you through your high, slowing his fingers but not stopping them.

your clit still in his mouth as he overstimulates you. your body convulses as the shockwaves run through you. “l-lix please, it’s too m-much.” you whimper, body shaking hiding your face once again. 

his stills his fingers, pulling his mouth off you to give your clit a few loving kisses. “so pretty for me angel.” he whispers between kisses. 

“l-lixie.” you call out to him, needing to feel him pressed against you. he looks up at you, making grabby hands to him making him smile.

he carefully pulls his digits out, pulling a whimper from you in the process. he gives your clit a few more kisses, causing your legs to shake involuntarily.

he makes his way up, kissing your tummy and of course, each nipple and even giving one a cheeky suck. 

once he makes his way up you, laying on top of you, plushie squished between you, wrapping your legs and arms around him, pulling him close. he giggles at your cuteness before giving you a loving kiss.

“i love you mama.” he mumbles into the kiss. you smile against him, “i love you more lix.” you pull him tighter to you, both of you falling in a quick, peaceful slumber.

(and yes he does wake you up later, mouth attached to your nipple once again.)

do not repost

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[therenlover]

Always For A Second (Usually At The Start) - A Helmut Zemo x Reader fic

"And when I imagine life when it's mine / I can try to picture faceless folk to love a thousand times / But always for a second, and usually at the start / You're in the image posing with a cradled beating heart" - Katie Gregson MacLeod, i'm worried it will always be you

Synopsis: Leaving Helmut for good had been the biggest, most final choice you'd ever had to make. Two years later, he's in your living room again. This time, though, things are different.

Tags: Explicit Smut (+18), Exes, Getting Back Together, Enemies to Lovers to Exes to Lovers, Enthusiastic Consent, Switch!Zemo, Oral (Fem Receiving), Service Top!Zemo, Aftercare, Bucky is Mentioned Too Much

Rating: E (+18) Minors DNI

Warnings: N/A

Word Count: 8,600~

-------------

“I didn’t expect you to come crawling back so soon, schatz,”

The restaurant was crowded enough that nobody heard Helmut’s words, curt and cloying and so fucking familiar. Still, my face heated. It always would for him, no matter how much my common sense protested by body’s reactions. How dare he be so damn effective at getting under my skin? 

Some over-expensive brown liquor sloshed against the rim of the glass in my hand as I lifted it less than gracefully from the table, dribbling down the edge of my mouth as I guided it to my lips and drank deeply. “For one, two years isn’t soon,” I started, swallowing. “Two, you’re the asshole who showed up in my apartment like a robber, which makes you the one who came crawling back. I was just nice enough to let you take me for a free meal to get you the hell out. Three,” I set the glass down sharply, “don’t call me that. We’re not friends. We’re not anything. I still haven’t forgiven you,” 

“Apologies,” 

He didn’t mean it. 

“Still, it’s too soon to expect any sort of kindness from you,” he continued, “If I recall correctly, you said you’d rather die than suffer through another night with me for the rest of eternity. I believe an eternity has yet to pass… and yet, here we are,”

His matter of fact tone left little up for debate, unless I wanted to reach for my fork and maim his smug face. Instead, I bit my tongue and swallowed another mouthful of whatever I was drinking.

For once I was glad to be surrounded by the kind of noisy, faceless jumble of humanity that usually made my skin crawl. F. Scott Fitzgerald was on to something with his theories on large crowds and intimacy; there was no better place for two war criminals to meet than the corner booth of a hazy restaurant, lounging and drinking, covered by the blanket of sweet anonymity. Anyone who glanced our way would see two normal human beings sharing a meal in peaceable silence, sharing sparse conversation between bites of this and that. 

They would see lovers.

The thought left a lump in my throat. 

Maybe I looked uncomfortable enough that they would presume, correctly, that we were ex-lovers. I wasn’t hopeful about it, though. 

Helmut noticed, of course, but I knew he would. He had always had an almost supernatural sense for these things, like he could tune into my emotional radio on a frequency I didn’t even fully know myself. Enemy or ally or… otherwise, it was a constant to be seen through and picked apart like carrion. An appetizer for the fights to come. Thankfully, though, he chose to have mercy on me this time in a rare show of respect. Instead of wrapping his lips around another snide comment- even though I could tell it was burning a bitter hole into the tip of his tongue behind his clenched teeth- he chose to pick up a ring of calamari from the plate between us. He held it up to examine the crust in the dim lamplight before placing it delicately against his lips, pulling it from the fork in one bite. Still, he couldn’t be too gracious. Helmut held eye contact as he went.

I could only managed a disgusted sigh but found myself mirrored as his teeth sunk into the squid and his brow furrowed. 

“Bad?” I asked.

He chewed for a good while before managing to swallow the offending clump down, gagging all the way. “Despite my recent diet, that might be the worst thing I’ve eaten in a long while,”

A laugh escaped me before I even knew it was there. “You managed to pick a restaurant where our appetizer is worse than prison food? Serves you right for ordering seafood in the midwest,” 

“I suppose it does.” He nudged the plate towards me with a growing smirk, “See for yourself. I’d hate to see it wasted, and as you said, it is ours. I can’t be expected to finish it alone,” 

As if under the spell of his charisma all over again, I followed his instructions without a second thought. It was just as bad as I anticipated. 

Things were off to a bad start from the moment the tines of my fork hit the batter. The breading seemed to squelch under the pressure, sagging and giving way into meat that was somehow both rubbery and gelatinous, if that was even possible, and if the texture seemed bad outside of my mouth it was even worse inside. Somewhere between its fishy tang and the overly salted batter, there was a bitter, almost sour note that seemed to permeate further with every chew. I spit the macerated glob into my napkin before even attempting to swallow down the remaining spit. 

Across the table, Zemo grinned at my misfortune. “Let’s hope our entrees are less offensive to our palettes,” 

“Fuck off,” I muttered, lips turning up at the edges. 

“You can curse all you want at my poor choice of venue, but I can tell you’re glad you’re the one who ordered the pasta instead of the steak,” 

I went for my glass again, letting the liquor with a name I couldn’t pronounce burn all the way down my throat and into my chest. “I hate that you’re always right, Helmut. Can’t you be wrong, just once? Leave some correctness for the rest of us,” 

Maybe it was the lighting, soft and amber against the dark wood of the table to mask the bloody steaks that would sit below, or maybe it was the music, something old and swinging that I couldn’t quite put my finger on but knew from the radio in my grandmother’s car as a child, or maybe, just maybe, it was the crows feet that popped up around Helmut’s eyes when he smiled that hadn’t been quite so prominent the last time I’d seen him, but no matter the cause, the solid iron wall I had put up around my heart when I walked out of the Baron’s life those two year sago seemed to soften. Weakened, somehow. It was like someone took a blowtorch right to the center of my defenses. Something in me screamed that they had never been all that strong to begin with. 

I only noticed I’d been staring when he looked away, clearing his throat and wiping his thin mouth with the napkin from his lap. 

There went my hand. Helmut, 1. Me, 0… Well, 1, if leaving him those years ago counted for anything, and I refused to believe that it hadn’t. That the blow to his ego hadn’t given me at least a slight upper hand compared to the naive girl I had been in comparison when I first met him. There had been so much good in the world then. 

The silence dragged on as if the structural flaws of my guarded heart could patch themselves up with the defenses created from just a few silent moments between us. That’s all it would take for me to remember all the reasons this would never work: all the pain, the sleepless nights, the snide comments that turned into biting replies that grew into massive, earth-shattering fights that exploded into days or weeks or months living alone in a house with him. One by one, the memories flooded back, reminding me exactly why it had taken me almost two years to find enough peace within myself that I wouldn’t decide to shoot the man in front of me on sight. My heart hardened by the second.

“I saw your concert,” 

I was simultaneously thawed and frozen all over again. “How did you-“ 

“James mentioned it,” 

“You still talk to Bucky?” 

“Here and there,” 

The conversation lapsed into silence. 

He had… been there? I didn’t even bother to think about the talk I’d have to have with Bucky about my privacy, too focused on the more important matter at hand. 

The venue was grungy, a basement bar with a small stage serving the communities aspiring comedians and desperate punk-rock garage dwellers just waiting for their big break. I had barely had the guts to pay the booking fee, though. It was just me, a piano, and my guitar for an hour and a half set of mostly cover songs that had gone better than I’d expected, but hadn’t been anything crazy. The crowd was appreciative and respectful. Several people had left tips, even more giving me a congratulatory clap on the back as I left the building that night, promising to “stream my EP” whenever I released it, despite the fact that I had no plans to do any such thing. Still, I couldn’t imagine that I hadn’t seen his face in the crowd. I couldn’t name what I was feeling as I imagined it; visualized his face on the other side of the smoky room, leaned against the bar with his dark eyes catching hold of mine…

“You came and you didn’t say anything? Not even a hello?” 

Helmut laughed, but there wasn’t much humor in it. “And risk my life over a free concert? No.” He paused, “Despite my tendency to sometimes be… less than kind, I knew it would rattle you to see me. I didn’t want to throw you off before your performance.” 

I didn’t have much of anything to say in response. Instead, I picked at the paper straw wrapper in my lap and tried to look anywhere but in his direction, shoving down whatever was welling up in my chest. He wouldn’t let things go, though. He never could. That was half of why we’d never work. Every time I tried to drop an uncomfortable subject he’d be there to pick it up with a snide comment or two. It was an easy rhythm. Too easy. I had never wanted to fall back into it and yet, here I was, almost excited to snipe his next words down. 

“Cain misses you,” He continued. 

I folded the straw wrapper in my hands, pulling at the crease as I thought about the doberman puppy I had left behind. He would be so big now, as big as the one I’d taken with me was now. My heart ached at the thought. 

“I doubt he remembers me after all this time,” 

“Of course he does,” Helmut’s voice was low. It was almost hypnotic, the way he carried himself. He could fool anyone. I realized, with a sinking feeling in my stomach that couldn’t have been the calamari, he could still fool me. “He’s quite the troublemaker. More times than I can count he’s evaded me in the house, only to be found asleep in your old closet. I think he remembers your scent,” 

“Thats…” I sat quiet for a moment, pursing through choices of words in my mind, mulling over the sharp accented way he pronounced the t in scent, “Sad. Really sad. Makes me wish I could’ve taken them both,” 

“And what of Brutus?”

“He’s good,” A smile crossed my face. “Big, as you saw tonight. I remember when we got them, they told us they’d be 60 pounds at most, but I swear Brutus must’ve snuck in with the rest of those puppies, because he’s massive. Headbutts me every time I walk through the door wondering where I was. He’s a good boy, though. Keeps watch while I sleep, just in case.”

“Just in case I decided to let myself in through the window one night?”

I let myself laugh without judgement this time, reaching for my water. “Looks like it was all for nothing, then. Who knew he’d just let intruders come waltzing in off of the fire escape?” 

“Am I truly considered an intruder in your home?” He asked it as if the answer wasn’t obvious. As if there were any other answer I could possibly give. As if I could’ve wanted him there. His earnestness almost hurt as much as his taunting did, maybe more, because even if I didn’t want to admit it to myself, there was a soft ring of truth to his words. 

I took the cowards way out. “I don’t know, what do you think?” 

It was a vulnerability to not give a straight answer, the kind of weak spot that Helmut would catch wind of in an instant before using it to unravel someone piece by piece. Not a no, but certainly not a yes, and the fact that it hadn’t been a resounding yes was enough to glean that maybe, deep down, I wasn’t hating this dinner. He would see through me. Rip me to shreds for the subtle admittance that I hadn’t hated seeing him waiting for me on the couch when I walked through my door, even if I hadn’t expected or wanted him there in the first place. 

I found it was better to lie by omission than to fully lie and let him see through me to the more important truth; For as much as I despised everything about him, I had missed Helmut Zemo. I had missed his stupid expensive taste and the tilt of his stupid head and his stupid shiny white smile. I had missed seeing his coat hung up beside the door and knowing what waited for me inside. It was sick how I had loved him. How I had loved every minute of him picking me apart by the seams and putting me back together. Who could possibly crave their own destruction? Who could live knowing that to be loved was to be deconstructed down to the bone and laid bare as something lesser, something so small compared to the great destroyer I devoted myself to. 

How could he let me live like that if he truly saw through me? 

And that was why I had to leave. 

Loving Helmut Zemo was no way to live. I knew that. I had known that the day I picked up my dog and walked out of our home with nothing but my wallet, car keys, phone, and a polaroid picture of his silhouette. Somehow, I knew that he knew that too. Why else would I move on so suddenly, so sharply, removing every piece of the life we’d built to start myself fresh? A new me, I had said. A new chapter. Yet here I was across from him, shredded bits of paper littering my lap as he puppeteered my heart right back into his arms. 

No. I couldn’t let it happen. 

Not again. 

“Listen, baron,” I didn’t let him answer my rhetorical question. It wouldn’t be wise to let him gain the upper hand again. It wouldn’t be smart to let myself stay weak. “I appreciate dinner. It’s been surprisingly lovely to catch up with you. I’m glad to know you’re not dead, and its great to know Cain is doing well, but I know you weren’t here to tell me that over a plate of mediocre pasta,” 

Helmut smiled, his head in its signature tilt, and swished his own glass a bit. The ice was all but melted giving the liquor an almost clear quality as it diluted. Not a sip had been taken. “Ask the question, schatz,” 

“Why are you here? Why did you stalk me here and break into my apartment when I made it clear that you weren’t welcome in my life?” My words came out so matter of fact even I almost recoiled at them. Not unemotional but detached. 

“Um, who had the chicken alfredo?”

I could feel the blood drain from my face as I looked up at the poor waiter, hot plates in hand, as he took in our table at just the wrong time. Five minutes earlier he would have walked in on polite conversation about the dogs or the shitty appetizers. Now, though, he stood between a man who was known to kill for the things he wanted and me, the one thing he could never have again. 

Surprisingly, though, Helmut waved a hand towards me as I froze. There were none of the usual dramatics, just polite chatter with the waiter as he set my plate in front of me and left Helmut with his, taking the offending calamari plate away with him as he scurried away, surely to tell his coworkers about the crazy exes at the corner table. Helmut didn't even carry on with his answer. He just started tucking in to his steak and potatoes, not sparing me a single glance. If I didn’t know better, if I hadn’t memorized the way his eyes looked in the low light of a restaurant across from me, I would think he’d been replaced by a skrull.

Where was the tearing? The shredding? The utter evisceration of my waiting throat as he drank deeply of my darkest, most shameful thoughts only to spit them out for the world to see. Where was that shame? In the before times, in the times that the two of us had been a we, he never would have paused to mind a waiter. The world would have revolved around him as he laid me bare, no matter who watched or waited in the wings. What changed? 

How had I not noticed his docility until now?

The pasta was decent. It was better than anything I would’ve made at home, at least. I barely thought about it, though, letting my body go through the motions of eating mechanically while my mind went over a million things I could say. What could I say? There was nothing left to. We had gone over every possibility before I had left, at least I thought we had. Whatever we were was dead. That was certain. But what we could be…

I swallowed hard before I could choke on a relatively large piece of broccoli I neglected to chew in my trance. 

Helmut seemed to be in a painfully similar situation. One look at his plate showed a steak cut into tiny pieces. Almost none of it looked eaten, just diced into a pile and shuffled around a bit on the plate to mix with the potatoes, smashed down from their neat ice cream scoop globe and spread with the back of a fork. 

With a sigh, I set down my fork, pasta already forgotten. 

“Lost your appetite?” 

He paused his fiddling with his fork and knife, mirroring me and letting the utensils rest on the table beside his plate. It was odd to see him rattled. Strange to watch his eyes roll up to the ceiling and pause there, as if he was searching for the right words to say. He always knew just what to say to cut the deepest. Maybe it was foreign for him to not want to cut; To find a soft word, instead of a sharpened one. His mouth opened one… two…three times. Open and shut, open and shut. I couldn’t help but hurt for him. The man of many words was finally struck dumb. 

Finally, it came. 

“I’m sorry,” 

I had anticipated a selfish reply, a demand for me to come back and put the past two years behind us, but time had changed him. It had changed us both. He was no longer the man he had been when he was first freed from behind bars, vengeful and biting and so deeply afraid of being alone again, but I was no longer the lost girl I had been either. I did not need to be destroyed to breathe. I could feel tears pricking up in my eyes as he reached a hand across the table to search for my own. It was such a familiar sight in a time of uncertainty. I kept my hands firmly in my lap, though. I would not give him the satisfaction. 

More, I would not give him hope.

“Come home, schatz,”  

There it was. 

I couldn’t hold in the bitter, wet laugh that bubbled up through me, more at my own foolishness than at anything else. He had changed, yes, but some things never would. 

“Helmut,” The word hurt to say. It was altogether both familiar and unfamiliar, covered in a thick layer of dust from time, but nothing could erase the fact that it had once been used over and over, like a prayer, as easy as breathing or saying my own name. “You know I can’t,” 

He let his hand slink back to his side. “I had to try, you know,”

“I know,” The words were a whisper. 

So this was closure? 

The table was quiet. There was no desperation from Helmut’s side, no attempts to sway me or sudden outbursts of resentment. It was almost peaceful. His voice was sad but there was no manipulation in it. We laid our cards of the table as the game we’d played for years finally came to an end. 

“You were right about us, when you left,” he laughed, “I was, as you so aptly put it, a massive ass. I was still so deeply disillusioned about this world and the horrors of it. It was as if everyone around me was just another cog in it all, even you. I thought if I could puppet it all, make things go my way, everything could just be quiet. The horrors would finally stop. The memories would finally stop. I took it too far, though. I took it out on you. For that, I will never be sorry enough,” 

I put up a hand. “Helmut, you don’t have to do this-“

“I want to,”

His voice was delicate but didn’t waver. For the first time I wondered if this was more about what he needed to say than about what I needed to hear. I nodded him on. Without me even thinking about what I was doing, my hand caught his across the table.

“I wanted to run after you the same day you left. I nearly did, too, before I thought better of it. Then I really thought of what you said. What I did. It was then that I decided I had to change for the better, not for you but for myself. Only then would I allow myself to try again. So I did. I spent my time deconstructing the things I had seen and done and finally facing my own demons. I’m not perfect- believe me -but there are many things I have… worked on, for lack of a better word. James was surprisingly helpful throughout it all,” 

“Is that why you’ve been talking?” My thumb stroked over his knuckles, pausing on a scar. 

“More or less. I needed advice on how to overcome my atrocities, and I owed him an apology either way. He told me about your concert because he thought I would be ready to make amends, and yet I found myself unable to speak to you because I knew that if I did, I would have to beg you for forgiveness, and that is not something I will allow myself to do from anyone. Not now, nor ever,”

I let myself pull away. This was not a movie. There was no happy ending for the two of us at the end of this conversation. It was a chance to clear the air and let go of our grievances before going our separate ways. Treating it any other way would only hurt us both. “Why break in, then, and drag this all out over dinner? Why not just knock on my door, apologize, and leave?”

“I couldn’t have you slamming the door in my face and leaving me to apologize to the wall, now could I?” 

We shared a sad smile, a knowing one. “I guess that’s true.” 

“I needed to know you would hear what I had to say until the end,” he paused, “And one last confession. I must admit, I could not walk away without sharing dinner with you one last time. It’s selfish, as I am selfish, but I could not see you again without truly seeing you, more than just as you shouted at me and threw me to the curb,” 

“You think so little of me?” I asked. There was no bite in it. 

“No, I think so little of myself,” he finally took a sip from his glass, “Any anger on your part is warranted,” 

We did not speak again for a long while. Helmut methodically went through the bite-sized pieces of steak on his plate as I finished the alfredo, which had grown cold in the time it took to sort things out. There was no quiet conversation, no jokes or shared stories in the glow of the lamps overhead. Instead we sat in peaceable silence and breathed in the finality of it all. I was almost grateful for it. I never would have imagined sharing a meal like this with him in all of the years I had known him and loved him. If it was to be the last, and it was, we would savor every moment of each others company. Every moment not spent on my meal was devoted to memorizing the line of his jaw and the shape of his eyes as he did the same for me. 

By the time the waiter came to ask about dessert, I could have written sonnets about his face alone, and by the time he returned with the check, paid discreetly with a 40% tip for his troubles on Helmut’s card, I had committed the sound of his breathing to my mind. I could only hope the memory would last this time.

Realistically, I knew it wouldn’t. 

I wondered if he was thinking the same thing as we approached the front of the restaurant together, pausing awkwardly outside the door as we exited out onto the street. 

“So, this is it,” My hands found the pockets of my coat as I rocked onto the balls of my feet. 

Helmut smiled softly in the lamplight. “Let me walk you home,” 

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” 

“Says who? I have to follow you either way, my car is parked down the block,” He offered me his arm. 

I took it far quicker than I should have, relishing in the scent of his cologne. Even after all these years he had never switched to another brand, and I refused to admit to anyone else but myself that I was grateful for it. Instead I leaned into his warmth. “Well, it’s only a few blocks anyways. I guess it couldn’t hurt,” and with that, we were off. 

The night was cool. Summer had given in to the pull of a lush fall, the temperatures dropping to a comfortable but windy chill when the sun fell below the horizon. The leaves were not yet falling but they’d begun their slow transformation from green into a mosaic of reds and yellows and greens, forming a rustling canopy above the sidewalk that allowed a flash of stars and moon through the foliage every few steps. 

We were not the only pair walking through the streets that night, but if you had asked me about it later I would have said we were the only two people in the whole city, matching each other step for step under the flickering streetlights. Helmut’s crows feet were in full force as he laughed at my terrible jokes, and I couldn’t help but feel warmth rush through my neck and cheeks as he recounted the moment we first met. 

It had been fall then, too. A brief, chance encounter in the streets of Paris was all it was, a night spend with a stranger, until I had seen him again in Sibera, and again in Germany, and again on the Raft, and again, and again, and again, and again…

He had been younger then, much younger, and still raw with grief, but I had loved him even then.

I was so lost in my own memories that I almost missed the stairs up to my apartment, but Helmut paused there, keeping me rooted with him even though the look in his eyes told me he almost kept walking past, hoping to gain one more turn around the block before he had to let me go. He didn't, though. This was the end of the line. 

My arm slipped easily from its place against his own, hand catching briefly on the crook of his elbow. “Walk me to my door?”

His laugh felt almost nervous, a paid mockery of my own earlier reticence. “I don’t think that’s wise,” 

“Aren’t you supposed to be a gentleman, baron?” 

“I have never claimed that,” For a moment, when he paused, I thought that would be that. I would turn my back, ascend the stairs, and turn around to find he’d shifted back into the shadows from whence he came, but then the moonlight caught on his soft, wet eyes. “But for you, schatz, I try to be,” 

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t find the words I wanted to say as we walked up the front steps and into the building. 

It had been so angry last time. I had vomited up every hateful, raging, repressed thought that I had shoved down into my chest over the course of our turbulent time together all at once and left without a second glance. This time, though, it felt wrong to end things without giving him credit for all of the other things, the things I had forgotten in the midst of all the chaos that surrounded us. How could I thank him? How could I tell him every wonderful thing about himself only to close the door in his face a moment later? I spent the whole trip up to my apartment trying to find a way to express even an ounce of what I felt, and then it was far too late. 

We stood there on my novelty doormat, boots settled over the dirty cartoon chickens, hands in our pockets, and breathed in the stale hallway air. 

“Thank you for dinner,” I said. If I shut off my heart and my mind and every other little betraying ache in my bones it was like it had been all those years ago. We were just meeting. This was the end of our very first date. There was a future instead of a past in the time that lay beyond us. 

Helmut averted his eyes from mine. I could tell he was pretending too. “Of course,” 

“I’ll see you again,” I lied, “I mean, it’s inevitable. We’ll end up at Bucky’s place at the same time,” 

“Or run into each other at a busy cafe,” he offered. 

“Exactly! Or our cells will end up next to each other in maximum security prison,” I laughed, but it caught, pathetic, in the back of my throat.  

He took a step back, boots leaving my doorstep. “I look forward to it, whenever it may be,” 

My shaking hands found my keys, an autopilot motion I had done a million times, and the door to my apartment swung open. I could hear Brutus in his kennel, beginning to whine the moment he heard me come home, but I paused there for a moment, one foot in and one foot out. 

“Goodbye, Helmut,” 

“Sleep well, schatz,” 

I stepped inside and locked the door without turning around for a last look. 

My tears came quicker than expected as I took in the room around me. It was the antithesis of my home with Helmut, all whites and beiges and grays from the sparse walls to the lonely couch against the wall. There was one great shock of black, though; a solid footprint on the windowsill. One last souvenir to remember him by. 

I had done the right thing. 

I had to have done the right thing. 

Life with Helmut was hell. It was exciting and lush and romantic and alluring but it was destructive and painful too. It would mean being seen and unseen for the rest of my life, living with the ghosts of those lost in Novi Grad. He would never stop being the man his grief had created. He was just too broken… wasn’t he? 

All at once I knew I had to see him again. This wasn’t going to be the end. There were still so many chances to make it right. 

Before I knew my own feelings, I was undoing the latch and throwing my door open, only to find him there, feet planted solidly on that stupid welcome mat and fist raised to lift the knocker. Our eyes locked. 

We didn’t need words then. 

No, all I needed was his lips on mine and my hands in his hair. It was a need easily rectified. 

He didn’t pull away as I grabbed the edges of his ridiculous fur coat and dragged him in for a kiss, letting the remains of that day’s lipstick smear against his chapped lips as the parted and made way for me. It was like a piece of my puzzle fell back into place, like the thing that had been lying dormant in my empty chest for the past two years had jumped to life and jumped into my throat. The tears weren’t coming anymore, though Helmut’s cheeks felt wet when I guided one of my hands to rest against it, dragging him closer. I needed him urgently. I needed all of it. Every moment I had missed. 

At least one time in my entire tiny, useless life I needed to know him as he had always known me. I had to see him through eyes that would know every atom of him by heart. 

It could have lasted second or hours. I was lost in it; lost in every heartbeat and the messy clack of teeth on teeth as we remembered exactly how our mouths locked into each other. There was no need to breathe. I would happily drown in him if he would let me. Through the passion I distinctly remembered this fervor, the endless need for him. It wasn’t frightening anymore, though. I knew how to walk away. We both did. 

This time I didn’t want to. 

Helmut was the first to pull away. His mouth was wet and red as he panted there, just a breath away from diving in for more, but he pulled away when I advanced again, instead choosing to speak between placing kisses on my cheeks and down my jaw. “I couldn’t let you walk away from me. Not again,” his voice shook as he kissed me, “Does that make me a bad man? Does that mean you can’t love me?” 

I could only breathe a laugh as I pressed my chest to him. No measure of closeness was enough. I needed him to cover every inch of me. “I don’t think I could stop loving you if I tried, and I’ve tried,” 

“Please, stop trying,”

With that, he caught me in another kiss. 

“We should probably go inside,” I panted, gesturing towards the apartment with my head and Helmut nodded, maneuvering us over the threshold and into the barren entryway of the home  I’d made without him. It didn’t matter, though. That wasn’t what I was focused on. Instead, my hands were more focused on pulling his coat from his shoulders and discarding it loosely in the direction of the coat rack between fevered kisses. 

The old Helmut would’ve pulled away and make some snarky remark about keeping the place clean. This Helmut, though- my Helmut, as I had selfishly started to refer to him mentally in the past few moments -just dragged me in closer after his arms were freed, letting his hand drift to the small of my back but not even an inch lower.

Suddenly, though, things seemed to cool. The kisses grew shorter, softer. His arms still held me but seemed to loosen their grip. 

“Tell me you want this,” He whispered softly against the shell of my ear, “That you want me,” 

Ah. So that’s what this is. 

“Helmut, of course I do-“ 

“That’s not enough,” his voice was laced with a rare seriousness as he pulled away to look at me properly. His brown eyes glowed a million honeyed colors under the shitty, flickering overhead lighting I should have replaced months ago. They flitted from my swollen mouth to my cheeks to my watery eyes as his hand came up to cup my cheeks again. “Tell me this isn’t a mistake or a bad decision you’ll regret the second we finish,” 

The rest went unsaid. 

(Tell me you’ll stay. Tell me this means something to you, even if it doesn’t mean as much as it does to me. Tell me I won’t wake up alone tomorrow morning. Tell me anything and everything except the cruel reality that neither of us really knows what the future looks like once this is over)

I simply nodded my head, coming in for one closed mouth kiss. “I want this. I want you. Whatever I choose to do next, you’ll be a part of the decision. No more running away,” 

Like a shot, we were off to the races again. 

It was hard to detach our bodies long enough to give Brutus a treat to quiet him down, harder still to lead him to the bedroom and drop his hand long enough to turn on a nearby lamp, but somehow I managed. For all of the small things I’d forgotten about Helmut in the two years we’d spent apart, his bitten nails and the silhouette of his nose and the sound of his labored breathing as he took in my body with something akin to animalistic hunger, it was easy to fall back into the rhythm we’d always found ourselves in intimately. 

His shirt came off first, exposing the soft curve of his stomach. I kissed down from his neck to his chest, letting myself pause on each and every pinkish scar that graced his flesh. I made a mental note to ask him about a few new ones, including a wicked one across his collarbone that still puckered into an inch long divot in his flesh. My fingers followed my mouth, mapping every inch of his flesh. They caught on every soft yielding place he offered, a worship on the altar of his body, dragging his flesh ever so slightly but never enough to leave a scratch or bruise. 

I would not mark him any more than the world already had. It was not my purpose to remold him into my image. Instead I would venerate what he was, what he had become. 

Helmut had put so much effort into changing himself, rebreaking the things that had never healed correctly and setting them right again. I refused to let him break down to splinters again. Not on my watch. 

He shuddered at my attentions. 

“Let me see you?” It was a question, not a demand, and how could I deny him when he asked so nicely? 

I stood up again, relishing in the feeling of his fingers against the hem of my t-shirt, the gentle scratch of nails on skin as he lifted it over my head. When he looked at me, it was like he was looking at the most precious thing in the world. Usually he was so hungry for it that there was never a pause once my shirt was discarded. My bra would be thrown off with it, then my pants, then my underwear, all in such quick succession that I barely distinguished one article from the next in the order of things. This time, though, he paused, hands just inches from my bare flesh. 

“My sweet girl,” he whispered to me like a prayer, a confession, “I don’t think I can hold back much longer,” 

Slowly, deliberately, I stepped forward and pressed my body into his awaiting hands. He squeezed my hips once, gentle, and twice. Then they were roaming up to the clasp on my bra with that usual hunger again, freeing my breasts for his attentions. I don’t exactly recall how he manhandled me on to the bed, I was too busy feeling the hard press of his bulge through his crisp dress slacks. The first thing I was fully cognizant of was his hot breath on my sternum as he hovered over me, still standing but bent at the waist, boxing me in with his knees. 

“So fucking sweet,” he whispered before taking one of my nipples between his lips and laving his tongue over the hardening tip. 

I felt like a live wire. Heat was building everywhere. Dazzling electricity shot through my head and fingers and toes and cunt and gods especially my breasts. They were always my weak spot, and how he knew it, how he knew me. I wanted to thrash against him, to buck and gain his attention where I really needed it, but his body above mine held me fast, keeping me right where he wanted me, vulnerable to him and his specific brand of torture. With a particularly sharp pinch and a well timed suck he had me keening against him, curling into his every move. 

How had I lived without him? It was hard to imagine a night not spend here with Helmut, wherever here was, not that that mattered. I was embarrassingly wet. The slickness had gathered enough that I could feel it on my thighs despite my jeans. When I tried to relieve myself, though, the baron caught my hand, tutting softly. 

I expected to have to ask permission. Soft begs escaped my mouth. I needed him. I had no patience for games. Instead, though, he lifted up off of my chest and smiled, pulling my hand to his lips. “Let me help you, love,” 

There are no words in the human language that could adequately represent the sound that escaped my mouth. I could not even begin to try. It continued even as I lifted my hips to shimmy free from my jeans and underwear in one fluid motion, only ceasing when Helmut was on his knees with his face buried in my cunt. I was making different noises then. Loud. Guttural. If I had any mind left at all I would worry what my neighbors thought, to see me out on my doorstep desperately pawing at a man only to hear the noises we were making in tandem now. Thankfully, any sensible thought I had left seemed to fly out the window with Helmut’s first lick to my cunt. 

It was clear that he hadn’t forgotten me, and if he had, the muscle memory was coming back quick. His tongue was deft as it worked its way over my aching nub in a pseudo-figure eight; circling once, twice, and three times before dipping back through my folds. I held him in place this time, though, rocking into his mouth. At some point my hands found their way into his hair. It was so soft between my fingers, so pliable as I pulled against him, desperate for more of him, anything he would good. 

Every time he relented to me. Each sharp jolt was rewarded with a kiss against my thigh or a muttered curse in Sokovian, hot breath teasing my glistening mound. 

He was so giving, so attentive to my every need. He had always been a generous lover, never leaving me wanting for anything, but this felt… different. The way he sucked bruises into my thighs, relenting to each and every sobbing please that escaped my soft lips, was a new and devastating experience. There were no power games left to play, no lording his sexual prowess over me as he brought me slowly closer and closer to the ever distant goalpost, just his mouth on me over and over and over again as he wrung the first orgasm of the night out of me, then the second in short measure, barely ceasing from one to the next.

By the time he decided I’d had my fill, my legs were a trembling mess against his shoulders and my cunt was a sopping mess. 

He grinned a crooked grin at his masterpiece.

“How was that, my love,” 

I could barely catch my breath enough to speak. My heartbeat thundered in my ears, thrumming a frantic drumbeat even as the room quieted. “So good- really really good, Helmut,” 

Slowly, he rose up from his knees, undoing his belt. “Please say my name again, schatz,” 

“Helmut,” My voice was hushed. Reverent. 

He undid the button at his fly, pulling at the band of his boxers. “Again,” 

It fell from my lips like a prayer. “Helmut,”

His cock bounced free, bobbing as he took a sharp, steadying breath. He placed his hand at the base and squeezed slightly. 

“Again,” 

“Helmut,” 

“Fuck, that’s good,” The trance broke momentarily as I gazed up at him, watching the sweat roll down his forehead in shining rivulets despite the chill in the air. He wiped at them with the back of his free hand and smiled sheepishly. “Scoot back and get comfortable, please. I don’t think I’ll last long,” 

I did as he asked, settling against my pillows on the still-made sheets. “Neither will I,” 

“Where are your condoms?” 

“Bedside drawer, way in the back. I’m on the pill too, so no worries,” 

He moved quickly, grabbing a foil package from the small pile I’d accrued, just in case. 

It felt odd to have him be the one using them. 

There had been a few other men who had been invited here, fewer still that made it to the point that Helmut and I were at now. Every time, though, I hadn’t been able to go through with it, because every time they had finally settled themselves above me, I would close my eyes and, just for a moment, see Helmut in their place. It was unsettling the first time, enough so that I sent the guy home right away. The next time, though, it was more thought provoking than anything. I chalked it up to him being my longest lasting sexual partner and left it at that, but now, watching him roll the condom onto his length and crawl into his position over me, I knew. 

I would never get over him, even if I tried for years. My heart had a space carved out in the shape of his own. No matter how long I stayed away, I would never find something quite like what we had. He was it. This was what people dreamed about. And to think, I had almost let it slip away…

He slid one hand into mine, lacing our fingers together in the gentle lamplight. “Are you ready for me?” 

“More than ready,” My thighs spread as I canted my hips up.

Physically and mentally and every other possible way I needed him. I was prepared. 

So Helmut pumped himself once with his free hand before guiding himself into my wet heat. 

It was impossible to last long once we were finally complete. 

Feeling him inside me was like knowing the truth of the universe. It was comfortable, and thrilling, and so deliciously enough. He filled me well, finding his rhythm as he swore and released my hand to prop himself up more comfortably. We were linked together like the final pieces of a puzzle. I closed my eyes at let myself relish in it. 

There was nothing left to worry over while Helmut was inside of me. All thoughts that weren’t of him were banished. It was something to be cherished, every thrust paired with a whispered confession of love from one of us, a fleeting kiss, a curse, a plea… We laid ourselves bare. I let my legs wrap around his warm, soft hips as he rutted into me, bringing a hand between us to circle my clit once more. Even after everything he refused to leave me behind while he chased his own pleasure. It didn’t take much to send me tumbling over the edge into oblivion. 

As always, Helmut followed me down. 

His thrusts quickened, then stilled as he came to rest upon me, panting and heaving and begging for breath. I didn’t care much. He smelled of cologne and sweat as I buried my face in his shoulder and closed my eyes. I could feel him soften inside of me but I was far too spent to urge him to move.

We only shifted apart when he slipped free of me.

Helmut quickly kissed my forehead and gathered himself up, shuffling to the trash can to discard the used condom and grab a tissue to wipe himself up. I didn’t let myself move an inch. If I moved, would the bliss run away? Would I realize what I’d done? I let myself lay instead, eyes closed, panting in the autumn chill as my lover approached and wiped up our beautiful mess as gently as he could manage. With one last kiss to my thigh, he discarded the rag, opened the window, and crawled back into bed with me. 

The process was indelicate, a lot of awkward shuffling of sticky limbs, but we were settled beneath the blankets soon enough. Helmut stroked his fingers down my arm languidly while kissing the back of my neck. 

I broke the peace between us. 

“I don’t… I don’t know what this means for us,” 

He sighed gently. His breath was soothing and familiar against my shoulder. “That’s not something we have to decide at this very moment,” 

“But I just don’t want you to think this means something… or at least something more than it does? If that makes sense? I don’t know,”

“Schatz, please,” 

“I want to keep my own place, at least for now. I don’t know what that means for when I’ll see you or if we’ll keep doing this,” I gestured vaguely to my nude body beneath the sheets, “or if we’re even a thing anymore, bu-“ 

Helmut reached his arm around us, placing a quieting finger over my lips and another soft kiss against my shoulder. 

“I swear, your mind sounds even louder than mine,” 

“Sorry,” 

“No reason to be,” His hand left my lips, running down to my stomach and pulling me back towards the softness of his chest. “As for your questions, I shall respect your wishes about distance and housing and labels, whatever they may be. That being said, as long as you’re still up for… this, as you put it, I will never deny you, no matter the distance. I would cross oceans for you,” 

A cum-drunk, half-asleep giggle escaped me as he nuzzled in, kissing my ear. 

“Thank you,” 

“No, thank you,” he matched my laughter with his own, “I believe this is what James would call post nut clarity,” 

“Now you ruined it!” I huffed. The faux anger only lasted a moment, though, before I was rolling to face him, cheek pressed to the soft, downy hair of his chest. “I love you, Helmut.” 

“I love you too, sweet girl. Now sleep. I’ll get up and deal with the dog once you’re resting,” 

For the first time in two years, I breathed in the scent of Helmut’s cologne before lapsing into a peaceful sleep.

---------

A/N: Thank you for reading! This is my first foray into smut in literal years, and it was literally all written within a 12 hour period, so I hope any mistakes weren't enough to take away from your enjoyment. Comments are always appreciated, but never expected. See you on the next authors note!

[fleursbending]

THE TAILS OF TSU'TEY AND TONOWARI. | 18+

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 : do you see that pun ?? isn't it so funny ?? ^^ hahahahaahahahahahha.. okay here u go whores have sum headcanons 🙏🏼‼️‼️ (i was gonna link the jake sully one but i think everyone and their mom has seen it). this filthy asf i did not hold back. my mind ran and fell out of my ass. edit / ok the bullet points were glitching out for wari but i'm hoping it is okay now!

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : MDNI, nsfw, UHMM seggsy times with blue big ass aliens idrk what else to say ?!?!? choking, overstim, brief degrading, mention of somnophilia & oral (f! receiving).

��� 𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐈 :

wari knew you were drawn to his tail, for a differing amount of reasons. one of them being that it made you feel really good

and he'd be so consumed by making you feel good, because you're his girl. your pleasure tops everything for him

like his tail is so thick in and the width of it is so girthy lord

"take it like the good girl you are." he'd say as he forces you beneath him and lets his tail gravitate up your leg to where you need him most

i just see his tail acting before he can even fully think of what he was about to do

whether it is in his possessive nature, or just watching out for you

he'd totally use the width and thickness of it to his advantage come on. probably would let it lay in between your plushy thighs and press it against your throbbing clit.

"ahh" he'd say, as he would spit in your mouth - making you swallow it as you grind down on his tail.

I'm not sure how sensitive the metkayinas tails would be considering how different they've adapted to their surroundings, but i'd like to think

if you were to tug on it, it'd still elicit a deep guttural grown from tonowari

he'd fist your hair and smash your lips against his, nibbling at your bottom lip

"yeah? is all of this mine?" he'd growl, hands groping your ass and squeezing it.

wari would whisper such filth to you as his lips hover right over yours, basking in your whines and moans that waver in differing octaves.

"what's wrong, sweetheart? can't take anymore? why? oh...-" he'd let out a low chuckle. "is that it? i don't care. keep going."

his tail would be like. undeniably smooth.. so imagine thigh riding but switch thigh with tail lol!

some of y'all gonna be like wtf!! but dont lie to me ik some of u guys are eating that concept up

like him gripping your hips and pulling you up and down, other hand trailing down to press his thumb on the pearl of your clit and gently just rubs

or when you've made him fucking angry he'd use his tail as some sort of fuck toy until your legs are too sore to keep going.

like he'd give you such a condescending glare, "what? you're spent? when did i tell you to stop?"

tonowari is a beefy man, and with all that strength lordddd you're all gonna be going at it for quite some time !!

like ik for a fact he'd make you use his tail to get off until you reach the point of pure exhaustion

he'd let out a booming laugh, making you comfortable as he just towers over you

"guess it's my turn now"

and his cock would just be so ready for your cunt

and he'd coo at you as you let out something akin to a scream and a cry as your poor lil hole is finally filled with himmm and his balls would just smack at your skin lorddd

there'd be instances where you'd go on midnight swims and his tail would just curve into your waist pushing you closer to his proximity.

he'd have a wolfish grin as your chest presses into this, hands palming at every inch of your skin.

and as things get more heated, more desperate. you'd begin to tug him back to shore, to head to your shared mauri.

but he'd insist with a shake of his head, grasping below your thighs and wrapping them around his waist.

his head would dip down then, hovering over your ear. his breath making the hairs on the back of your head stand.

"how about i just take you here?" like! ok yes pls-

i can just imagine his tail sometimes pushing the ends of your hair back so he could have access to your chest, kissing you everywhere.

like not to deter but tonowari is such a boobs guy like he'd fr suck on your nipples while bucking into you real deep.

mans has such a high sexdrive like, he's going to crave you constantly. especially if he didn't have a successful hunt, or people in the clan are way to up his ass that day.

either he'd fuck you into oblivion, or just sit back and let you use him however you wish.

his tail swishes ever so slightly at the mere thought of you, that's the affect you have on him.

he doesn't know if it's possible but the next thing on his kink list is to definitely somehow choke you with his tail as he fucks you.

you'll have more than enough time together alone, (especially on your night escapades) for him to really test those, so be ready

✰ 𝐓𝐒𝐔'𝐓𝐄��� :

let me just say. he'd be gripping your throat as his lips are so precise with the way they kiss yours in that very moment

and you wouldn't acknowledge it at first as he leans in closer to you. not even realising his tail that trails up your leg

but then it would tug at your loin cloth. once to check how tightly it is on. two to check the waters. 3 to rip it right off of you.

and you'd gasp in shock as the cool air hits your already wet pussy

tilting his head, a coy smirk graced his lips as his forefinger ever so softly dragged through your folds

"ah, what have i done to already make you this wet. do tell."

your hips would jolt then, desperate for more friction, for him to fill you up

the smirk would drop, tsking at you as one of his large hands would push down on your lower tummy to keep you settled

you'd take a deep inhale of breath, both your eyes following the tail that once again trailed up your leg

this time it'd wrap itself around your breasts, squeezing. it was pure erotic, back arching and everything.

the smoothness and how sleek it was, the way it pressed down on your chest - had your eyes closing in pure utter ecstasy

"that's right, use it like it's my cock. there you go, baby. yes." he'd urge you when you are having sex

he'd be very watchful of your reactions, solely just wanting to please you and make you feel good

like can you imagine at a bonfire one night, tsu'tey had gone off to get your food

you're just happily waiting for him when suddenly another man from the clan approaches, trying to seduce you to follow him to the forest

you'd respectfully declined, knowing that of his true intentions behind his words - but he wasn't seeming to go without staking a claim on you

did he live under a rock? oh no tsu-tey

tsu'teys hands are preoccupied, anger making his posture stiffen ever so more as he quickened his pace over to you

"i am taken, i have a mate. please leave before he-"

he makes himself known from behind you, balacing the food on his hands as he uses his tail to smack the wrist of the mans hand that was trying to make its way to your face

"you heard her, leave. before i take out all your teeth and beat you to-"

"tsu'tey!" you'd hiss, arms wrapping around his waist.

he'd snap out of it, glowering at the pathetic excuse of a man as he scampered off.

your cheeks flush as you realised his tail now seemed to wrap itself right above your loin cloth - an action he'd do unintentionally when feeling possessive

after your meal,, let's just say he was still starving for some more

the way he'd restrict your hand by his tail, or how the swishing motion of it would tenderly linger on your legs when he'd devour your pussy

"shhh, don't want the rest of the hunting party to you hear you. unless you do?" he'd say as he had you against a tree and completely having his way with you

i can see his tail having a mind of its own while he's asleep sometimes,, like he'd be having quite a vivid dream of you

and suddenly his tail would just be pressed against you, in a tired haze you'd try to ignore the pressure

but with tsu'tey spooning you and now unintentionally rutting against you, his tail seems to be growing in sensitivity as it curls against you

the feeling of the fur at the end of it brushing your upper thighs is what would finally jolt you awake

i can just imagine his tail trailing down the dip in your spine as you ride him, or the best part

when you'd surprise him by tugging on it

it'd happen at those times where its your turn to take control during your nighttime charades,, yk y'all like to switch it up

just a lil tug is all it takes sometimes

he'd harshly bite down on his bottom lip, "y'n" he'd let out in a low growl that makes you clench and squeeze down on his cock even more

eyes rolling to the back of his head, jaw and thighs clenching in sheer pleasure as the feeling of it equates to that of him teetering over the age of bustin

he'd definitely use his tail to choke you out when you're about to cum

i just feel like tails can do so much more than depict the emotions he is feeling at that very moment

he'd honestly use it however way you wish for him too as long as you're fine with it and it makes you feel good

like him fucking you from behind as his hands grip at your ass and his tail wraps around your hair and tug on it...??? damnnn

𝒇𝒍𝒆𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒃𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 ━━━ 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑

⤷ feedback and reblogs are always much appreciated ! feel free to ask through my inbox if you would like to join my nsfw taglist. ♡

also i am sorry if this is bad </3 she was written at like 3am last night!

[rohansdisciple]

𝚜𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 ★ .

summary : elliot breeding after you say ‘yes’ to him asking for a baby ♥︎ .

warnings : romance / smut / nsfw . fem / afab reader . established relationship / married . pet names used . nipple play . sex toy ( vibrator ) . oral ( fem receiving ) . squirting . p in v sex . light marking . breeding . and i think that’s it ! tell me if i missed something ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ ! 

word count : about 3.1 k *

reading time : about 12 minutes * 

other : 16+ ** . takes place in the stardew we all know and love, i believe i changed some minor things so the plot makes sense ! may have some minor grammatical errors && the entire story is written in lower case and the punctuation has double spacing in between the words * .

a / n : so last month while i was playing stardew valley elliott asked for a baby . which made me freeze in my seat by the way , then i said yes and moved on . then when my character had the baby , i froze once again . but that time i got an idea to write about him asking for the baby and the first baby making attempt :D ! so enjoy pookie bears ^ ^ ! 

credits to @ rookthornesartistry on tumblr and @ crispyporkbelly on deviant art for the dividers !

" finally , i reached the 100th floor ... " you sigh , finally arriving at the location you've been attempting to reach for weeks . you look at the time to see how long you've been down in the mines — it's almost 11 p.m . " i should call it a day and go home , " you think as you board the elevator to the top . when you exit the mines , you choose to use the warp totem to get to the farm since you have no desire to make the 30 - minute walk back to the house at this hour .

once you get to the house , you toss all your findings and valuables into a chest until you can sort and look at them all tomorrow . because right now , all you were concerned about was showering and then getting in bed with your husband . when you walk into the house , you head to the bathroom quietly , trying not to make too much noise since elliott is usually asleep at this time . when you switch on the bathroom light , you discover a nicely folded pair of your pajamas resting on top of the counter ; which is just a simple tank top and shorts . and it came with a note on top that said , ' enjoy your shower , love elliott ' . you grin once you finish reading the short note , and you have to remember to thank elliott for being so thoughtful and conveniently setting out your pajamas for you .

after enjoying your hot shower , you get out, get dressed , and then you make your way to the bedroom to rest for the night . you notice a dim light glowing beneath the bedroom door as you approach it . " maybe elliott forgot to turn the light off before he fell asleep ? " you think to yourself , still under the impression that he's sleeping . when you enter the bedroom , elliott is fully awake and reading a book in bed . it seems like he was waiting for you to come and join him .

“ hey babes , i didn’t expect to see you up at this hour ; whatcha doing up - ? ” you ask while you get into bed with him . “ i was too deep in thought that i couldn’t fall asleep , so i decided to read a book and wait for you to return , my love ... ” elliott chuckles as he places his book and reading glasses on the nightstand before lying down with you . " oh , by the way , thank you for setting out some clothes for me , sweetheart . i really do appreciate it , " you say softly . elliott places a kiss on your forehead and then says , " no problem, honey ... it's the least I can do when you work so hard every day , " he replies .

" did everything go well today , sweetheart ? " elliott asks as he caresses your cheek with his thumb . " mhm ... i got really lucky today in the mines , so i got a lot accomplished , " you reply in a hushed tone , closing your eyes for just a moment . " that's wonderful , my love ... " he says softly , his words trailing off .

for a while , neither of you speaks ; you're too busy enjoying elliott's touch , and he's preoccupied with his thoughts , which creates a brief moment of silence between the two of you. he can't decide whether this is a good time to talk to you about what’s been on his mind or if he should just drop it and talk to you about it some other time . once elliott convinces himself that now is the perfect time to talk about the thing that's been on his mind , he speaks up . 

" can i talk to you about something , honey ? " " it's been on my mind for a while now - " elliott nervously says to you . " of course , what's on your mind , honey ? " you ask , sitting up and leaning against the bed's headboard . once he knows he has your full attention , he speaks , " so , i've been thinking about ... talking to you about trying for a child . " he pauses for a few seconds then continues , " i've always wanted to be a father , and now that i have such a lovely wife , i'd really like to have kids with you — if you want them , that is . " when he stops talking , elliott anxiously awaits your reply .

you consider what he said for a moment , and it suddenly hits you as to why elliott has been ' subtly ' mentioning babies and talking about how you two would be ' wonderful parents , ' and how the farm would be ' an amazing place for a child to grow up in ' . you sit there for a few minutes , silently considering whether you and elliott are ready to start a family , and all signs lead to the answer being yes . the house has enough space to raise a child ; you're financially secure , and you've always wanted to be a mother . " sure , let's try for a baby , elliott , " you say , smiling .

" a - are you sure , honey ? " elliott asks you . " mhm , i thought it through ; i think we're ready for a baby , " you say . elliott hugs you tightly and exclaims , " that's amazing , darling ! i'm happy that you said yes ! " " i'd be down to start trying right now, actually , " you offer boldly . " really ? ! r - right now , hon ? but aren't you tired from the day ... ? " elliott asks , slightly flustered by your suggestion . " i'm not that tired , sweetheart . and , besides , i can see you want to start trying now , too , " you tease , looking at the slight bulge in his sweatpants.

" you got me there , my love . the very thought of me getting you pregnant is exciting ... " elliott whispers , his face flushed as he caresses your waist . " you're just too beautiful to resist ... " he mutters as he draws you into a kiss . the kisses you two share start off soft and slow , but they quickly turn into more passionate ones as you both begin to caress and crave one another . elliott's hands quickly find their way under your shirt , and you tremble when you feel his cold hands grope your bare boobs . " mmh ... your hands are so cold - " you pant once you pull away from the kiss .

elliott chuckles when he hears you say that his hands are cold , and he says , " sorry, baby , they'll definitely warm up if i touch you some more , though ... " elliott teases as he removes his shirt and begins to shift his body on the bed . you watch as elliott positions himself to lean against the headboard of the bed . " come sit , my love ... with your back to my chest , " elliott says to you , patting his lap and pointing to the space in between where he wants you to sit . " o - okay ... " you murmur as you crawl closer to him , your gaze fixed on the growing tint in his sweats .

once you get situated , elliott takes off your shirt and places his big hands over your boobs . " you have such beautiful breasts , honey ... i love how sensitive your nipples are to my touch ... " elliott whispers in your ear , making you shiver . " ngh- " you moan as his fingers run over your nipples . " you like that , baby ? " elliott asks , placing soft kisses on your neck . " m-mhm ... i love it - " you gasp , savoring the sensation of him rolling your nipples in between his thumb and index finger . laying back and letting elliott pleasure your body has to be one of your favorite things ; every touch he gives you makes you tremble with excitement .

when elliott notices that you're practically shaking from him teasing your nipples , he knows you're craving for him to touch you . " e - elliott , please , touch me ... " you whine . elliott chuckles as he hears your desperate pleas for his touch , " alright , hon . lift your hips for me ... " he says as he begins to remove your shorts and panties . you do what he says , feeling yourself getting wetter with each second he doesn't touch you .

" open your legs too, darling ... i need to feel how wet you are for me , " elliott tells you as he puts his hands on your knees . " mmh , okay ... " you say breathily as you slowly open your legs for him . elliott's hands then run down your body slowly , making their way down to your wet pussy . " you're so wet for me , sweetheart ... it seems like the thought of me breeding you gets you excited too ... " elliott says teasingly as he spreads your pussy lips . " i - i charged the vibrator the other day ... could you use that on me , baby ? " you ask him . " oh , of course, darling ... anything for you , " he replies as he opens the nightstand drawer and pulls out the vibrator .

" you want the lowest setting first , right , hon ? " elliott asks as he sets the vibrator on your clit and switches it on , the low vibrations causing your entire body to flush with heat when it comes into contact with your sensitive clit . " mmh ... y - yeah , that's good right there ... " you mumble . elliott moves the vibrator in slow circles against your clit while he teases your nipples with his unoccupied hand . " m - mph ... m - more ... please , baby ? " you whine . elliott turns the vibrator on the highest setting when he hears you ask for more .

" okay , hon ... does that feel good ? " he asks . " hngh-! y - yes ... " you moan loudly as you grip onto elliott's thighs , attempting to stay in place . not even a minute later , elliott notices you were about to cum from how uncontrollable your moans became . " i - i'm gonna cum - ! c - can i cum ... " you cry out . elliott then takes the vibrator off your throbbing clit and puts it aside , which causes whimpers to fall from your lips . " not yet , dear ... i want you to cum on my face , " he says to you as he shifts his body to where he's laying on the pillows . 

" come sit , sweetheart , let me take care of you ... " elliott says inviting you to sit on his face . you immediately do what he asked , hovering your wet pussy above his mouth since you're desperate for some sort of release . that , combined with the fact that you enjoy it when elliott eats you out because he has a very good tongue got you even more excited than you already were . " i - is this good , babe ? " you ask elliott . " i told you to sit , not hover , darling ... " elliott replies as he squeezes your ass . " but , honey , i don't want to suffocate you - " you explain , having only sat on his face once before . " you don't have to be worried , sweetie . " elliott says , " just sit ... " he says , guiding you down until you are fully seated on his face .

" o - oh my god ... e - elliott ! " you moan in pure ecstasy as his tongue begins to suck on your aching clit . elliott laps and sucks at your clit like he's a starved man who hasn't eaten in weeks , causing you to only think about the immense pleasure you're feeling . elliott can tell how close you are to cumming from how much your body is shaking . " hngh! b - baby ... i - i'm so close ... " you say , holding onto the headboard for support as the knot in your stomach tightens . 

when elliott hears those words leave your lips , he focuses on getting you to your climax , continuing to slip his tongue in and out of your wet hole , his nose brushing over your clit as he does . seconds later , you feel the knot in your stomach beginning to unravel . " mph! m'cumming - ! " you moan loudly as your intense orgasm hits you , making you accidentally squirt on elliott's face .

when you come down from your high , you return to your senses and you get off elliott's face . " are you okay , babe ? " you ask , staring at all the fluids you've left on his face . " hehe , i'm more than okay , baby , " elliott says with a contented smile as he wipes his mouth and sits up . " but i'm not done with you yet , darling ... " he says as he removes his boxers and sweatpants, revealing his stiff cock . the pre - cum dripping from his rosy red tip alone is enough to make you drool . you want him inside of you badly ; you desperately want him to breed you right now . " now , on your back , honey ... we're not done just yet . " he whispers in your ear .

when you lay on your back , elliott traps your body beneath his , pinning you down to the bed . " i love you , y / n , " elliott says softly as his fingers intertwine with yours and your lips meet in a passionate kiss . " baby , is it alright if i put it in now ? " elliott maintains a low voice . " i'm afraid i won't be able to contain myself for much longer . " " as i said earlier , you're too beautiful for me to resist ... " he adds , his cock twitching against you . " mhm , go ahead , darling ... " you reply , touching his flushed face . elliott then rubs the tip of his cock on your clit before slowly pushing his cock inside your warm pussy while letting out a low moan .

" you doing okay there , love ? " he asks once he bottoms out . " m - mhm ... m'good , " you say , your walls clenching around elliott's shaft . " do you need a minute to adjust , my dear ? " elliott asks . you merely nod in response . " alright ... let me know when you're ready , okay ? " he adds lovingly as he caresses your cheek .

after a few moments , you say , " i've adjusted ... you can move now , baby . " alright , darling ... " elliott says as he begins to move . elliott let's out a soft grunt as he thrusts into you , your warm walls feel amazing around his cock . that , combined with the fact that you two haven't had sex in weeks , makes him feel like he's in heaven right now . " y - you feel so good , my love ... " elliott says as his pace quickens . " mmh ... s'good - " you moan softly as you rub fast circles on your clit .

elliott's hands then grip your waist to keep a steady pace , so every thrust gives you the pleasure your body deserves and desires . "  mph ... y - you're so beautiful , y / n ... " elliott whispers in your ear through his moans . elliott begins to place small hickeys on your neck as he attempts to find that spot inside of you that drives you insane every time . when the tip of elliott's cock hits your g - spot , your eyes roll to the back of your head with ease . " hngh-! r - right there - ! d-don't stop - ! " you moan loudly . " you like that , baby ? i'll keep doing it then - " elliott pants .

the bedroom is quickly filled with the sounds of skin slapping together , your moans , and elliott's low groans and pants . both of you are clinging to each other so desperately , like the pleasure you two are feeling would just stop if either of you let go . elliott pounds into you mercilessly as you feel the knot in your stomach becoming tighter and tighter by the second . elliott can tell you're close to your orgasm from the way your walls are clenching around him . " y - you're gonna cum , yeah ? j - just let go , baby - " elliott says to you . with a few more deep thrusts and touches to your clit , you can feel the knot in your stomach unraveling . " mmph ! m'cumming ! " you moan , your whole body shaking violently as you cling to elliott . 

it took every fiber of elliott's being not to cum inside of you right then and there as your walls pulsated around his cock as he continued to thrust into you as fast as he could . " mph! it's s'deep - " you whine . you couldn't deny that elliott looked so hot with his hair clinging to his sweaty forehead as he pounded into your sloppily wet cunt . you can tell from how erratic and rough elliott's thrusts were becoming and the way his face was twisting in pleasure that he was close to reaching his orgasm .

" y - y / n ... i - i can cum inside , right ? " elliott asks , wanting to make sure that this is what you wanted . " y - yes ... mph- ...stuff me full w - with your cum - " you say in between moans . now that you've told elliott that you wanted him to cum inside of you , he's only focused on two things — getting off and , most importantly , breeding you . elliott continued at his rough and fast pace , not letting up until he felt his orgasm approaching . " hngh-! baby , i - i'm cumming - ! " elliott moans as his body shakes as he cums deep inside of you , his cock filling your pussy with thick ropes of cum .

when elliott comes down from his high , he lays his body on top of yours and places his head in the crook of your neck , softly panting in your ear , attempting to get your body as close to his as possible . " i wasn't too rough , right , hon ? " elliott questions you once he catches his breath . " of course not , love . i feel amazing , actually , " you reply with a slight chuckle as you run your fingers through his long ginger locks . " you being satisfied is all that matters to me , my love , " elliott adds softly . " now , let's get you cleaned up , dear , " elliott says , lifting his body off of yours .

when elliott pulls out , his face immediately flushes with a red tint when he notices his cum slowly oozing out of you . " i - i'll be right back , honey - " elliott says as he gets out of bed and dashes out of the bedroom flustered . a few short moments later , elliott comes back to the room with a bowl and a washcloth in hand . " what's inside the bowl ? " you ask as elliott places it on the nightstand . " just some warm water to wipe you off , dear , " elliott replies , dipping the washcloth in the water . " all right , hon ... open your legs for me , " he says as he climbs onto the bed .

when you realize he's just trying to wipe you off down there before you two go to bed , you open your legs . " is the water too hot ? " elliott asks as he gently wipes you down . " no , it's warm , baby ... " you respond with a breath of relaxation . you lay there in bed , relishing in the sensation of the warm cloth and elliott's gentle touch , your eyes beginning to feel heavy .

" there , all done , " elliott says as he puts the washcloth back in the bowl . when he looks at you , he immediately smiles when he sees how relaxed and sleepy you look . elliott then lays next to you in bed and pulls you close . " i love you so much , y / n ... " he says in a hushed tone while rubbing slow circles on your back . " i love you even more , elliott ... " you murmur , clinging to him for warmth . elliott watches as you begin to slowly fall asleep in his arms . you truly were his world , his everything . " whatever the future holds for us , i'm looking forward to spending each moment with you , my love , " elliott whispers as he kisses your forehead before drifting off alongside you.

𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚎𝚗𝚍 ★ ...

read the second part here 🍂 !

[reminiscences2]

𐙚 -DRAFT #1

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ lazy miles1610 x reader fluff, slightly suggestive

idk bro i'm bored and there's no more miles1610 x reader fics ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

miles had been staring at his blank paper for the last ten minutes. he was supposed to have been starting his english essay due monday, but he only managed the title and his name. "damn, i'm bored." miles muttered to himself, spinning around in his swivel chair. he threw his head back, sighing as he tried to find some interest in the dorm ceiling above him.

meanwhile, i was actually on the way to his room. i had just finished up all my due work, and i was in a cheery mood. i knocked gently at his door, waiting for a response. i didn't have to wait for anything past half of a second for miles to appear at the door. "hey, [ y/n ]!" he blurted out quickly, opening the door with superhuman speed. he wasn't even trying to hide how much he had been wanting you to visit. "hey babyyy," i greet him, leaning in for a short kiss as i held his face. he seemed to shiver at my touch, his ears heating up at the nickname i gave him. "s-so wassup? how you been?" he asked awkwardly, closing the door as i walked in. his arms looked as if he didn't know where to place them, and he was acting as if we hadn't been dating for the last seven months now. i chuckle gently at his attempt of being smooth. "nothin', i finished my work for the weekend and i wanted to see your stupid face." i quip, tilting my head teasingly while intertwining his hands with mine. his face lit up into a giant smile as soon as you started holding his hands. "aww, really? even though you see it literally every single day? that's nice," he said, jokingly trying to pretend he didn't love hearing those things from me. i could obviously tell he'd already gotten back to his sassy demeanor. "i'm sorry, for me that just translated to 'leave', so i guess i'll get goin'" i remark with the same unit of sassiness, letting go of his hands and turning towards the door with a smirk. that made him scoff, grabbing your hand and pulling you towards him. "stoppp, i was kidding. please don't go," he pleaded, rolling his eyes as he found himself once again begging me for something. "i'm dying of boredom, mami." he groaned, tugging me closer.

"maybe watch the tone then?" i tease, raising an eyebrow. "maybe stay and not act like a jerk?" he retorts mockingly, tilting his head down towards me. "cmonnn, i need attention," he whispered, squeezing my hands as if he would die if i didn't listen. he groaned in response, covering his face with his hands in defeat. "pleaseeeeeee, just five minutes," he whined, his words sounding more like a baby than anything, which made him cringe even more. "mmm... okay, i'm convinced," i announce, my smirk still plastered on my place. there was something so satisfying about seeing him like that. "c'mon, sit here." i mutter, crawling onto his bed and settling onto my knees to pat the space between me, and the pillow for him to sit at. i was glad i'd come over in just a tank top and sweatpants, so i didn't have to worry about anything else. miles grinned, quickly clambering onto the bed and settling into the spot i'd left for him. he seemed to greatly enjoy this position, loving how i felt on top of him. "damn, you're fine," he muttered under her breath, hesitantly settling his hands around my hips. he was quickly snapping back into his normal self. it sort of surprised me how fast he went from shy to turned on in a few minutes. "it seems like you are asking for a different kind of attention here, baby." i tease, shuffling closer as i laugh. "well, when you look so good, you have to expect it," he replied, a smirk plastered on his face as his eyes looked me up and down. he was back in his cocky little persona now, which was honestly what i wanted. "oh?" i hummed, trying not the laugh at the sudden switch in personality. i could clearly tell the way his face heated up at my change in tone, along with that same dorky smile. "where'd this come from? i thought you wanted to cuddle? now it's sounding like something else?" i tease, giggling.

"shut up, this is still cuddling. see?" he replied quietly, lifting his head up again to look into my eyes, "is this not a nice, peaceful cuddle?" he teased back with a smirk, his hands still wrapped around my hips. i could just feel the sarcasm in his tone.

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ i might return to this later, i quit for now, lemme know if yall want more

[vibingandsimping]

Okay. First of all, you made me feel things for Haarlep with him wishing for more. I was wondering if you’d be willing to do a small one shot or headcanon about Raphael finding out about tav and Haarlep having secret feelings even though tav is supposed to be Raphael’s or something. I never knew I needed more of this till now thank you

Haarlep deserves more attention. I find their character so interesting.

You were in sorts with Raphael. You don’t know if this was cruel- but did you really care? The devil claimed you as his after pining since he met you in the Underdark. His diaries full of entries of you. All the things he wished to do to you and with you. The first time you visited the House of Hope was partially out of curiosity. A devil’s house must have some secrets, yes? It ended up with you tied closer to the devil. His little mouse, as he liked to say, all for him. Little did he know it was only because of the first night you spent with Haarlep. The way their lips explored your skin was so passionate. Unlike anything you’d ever felt before. In truth you didn’t wish to leave it. After the sex you two laid in bed and chatted for awhile. Haarlep, despite being an incubus, had a depth to them.

That’s why you let Raphael have his way with you. It gave you free access to his realm. You grew used to the chaos of the halls as you snuck to Haarlep while Raphael was away. You’d spend nights of passion and then talk tenderly til Raphael arrived. When his presence was announced, you’d switch and tend to his needs. Anything to keep him strung along and this little affair going. Since Haarlep belonged to Raphael they could never leave unless Raphael relinquished him or died. Each night of hiding became a heavier burden on your heart. Each kiss deeper and longing for a life without ties. This went on for months until you two grew sloppy. Comfortable in your routine of visits while he was away. When Raphael caught you laying in bed nude and smelling of sex. You thought it was over. Surely he’d chain you up or take Haarlep’s head for tainting his favorite mouse.

What you didn’t expect was his expression to be smug rather than shocked or wrathful. His gaze was predatory and gave you chills. “I am not a fool, my pets.” He began with a stride towards you two. “I pieced it together. Did you have fun, my mouse?” He closed the distance between you and grabbed your jaw. It wasn’t forceful but directed you to look at him. Only if you attempted peeling yourself away did his grip become brutal. Your lips parted as you uttered meek confirmation. The devil’s eyes landed on Haarlep who watched in waiting anticipation. He tutted at the incubus. “I’m not pleased with you playing with what’s mine, Haarlep. You’ve forgotten your place. Though, perhaps there’s something in this for me.” He let your jaw go with a wolfish grin. He thought this over if he knew from the start. He waited til the perfect moment to strike like the damn viper he was.

“You’ll get the Crown of Karsus for me, mouse. Like we agreed on. When you’re gone, Haarlep can please me with your body… and while i’m gone on business my pets can play with eachother. As long as you both remember you belong to me. I’ll let you keep this… what do you want to call it? Romance? Affair? Whatever, it matters not.” You weren’t sure to be pissed he was exploiting you two or thankful you were still alive and had permission to continue. He was right though. It mattered not, as long as you could keep Haarlep by your side.

You’d be his toy.

[afanofmanyth1ngs]

Yellowjackets/IWTV Fanfic

So, about a week ago I put out a poll about doing a weird IWTV fanfic that's basically set in the Yellowjackets verse... And now I'm doing it... YAY!! but I do just want to come on here to basically throw around some things I'm going to do :P So this is going to be where I update people and just basically talk about how I'm going to do this, what my schedule is going to look like, things I need opinions on. This is more so a motivation thing so IF YOU ARE INTERESTED, please please please comment and follow along. I lose motivation quickly, but this is something I'm pretty dedicated to. but either way THIS IS HAPPENING.

______________________________________________________________

First things first. YES I have started working on it. Im not even close to finished with the first chapter because each chapter is going to be LONG. This is not going to be everything that happens in Yellowjackets happens in here, and not even close. Even as I started it... I will sometimes use direct quotes, but thats only if im stuck and cant figure out what im doing.

NEXT as I said this is not going to be yellowjackets word for word, but I will be using each episode as a starting point. scenes might mirror each other, and I will cut between scenes as they do in the show.

Some things that are automatically going to be different from Yellowjackets:

They will not be on a Sports team of any sorts. The one thing each character has in common, is that they all are passionate about one or more forms of art (ex: Louis: Photography - Lestat: Acting - Madeleine - Sewing and dress making and altering (not the right words sorry lol)) SO im having them go to an art school :P little bit of a long shot but not only is it just convinent for me because of all the art forms they like, but also I think it would be kind of cool for just normal (LMAO) IWTV kids who have never touched a sport in their lives to now have to like hunt and stuff... kind of Lord of the Flies with half of the kids being CHOIR KIDS core.

Theyre all gonna be in High school. i was like well im not aging them up cause what fun would that be, so lets just age them down and keep a whole bunch of that trauma and see what happens... and im not super far into the writing process but its working rn!!

Theyre crashing in the Alps. I have zero knowlege of the Alps whatso ever BUT i know i went over them when i flew to Italy so Im having them go to the Uffizi Galleries!!! and then BAM Alps. so get ready for some major inaccuratcies about that cause im gonna make them how they are in Yellowjackets... just in like Italy. Maybe I'll reasearch a bit more... dw about it its ok :D

As I said before each chapter is going to be LONG. so rn I have around 4ish scenes (ones not finished yet) and by the time I'm finished with those and edit it's going to be close to around 4,000 words I'm estimating... that's 4,000 words for not even a quarter of THE KIDS STORY LINE. on that topic, because each chapter is going to be so incredibly long, I've decided to split each chapter in about half. I was originally planning to do one chapter = one episode of yellowjackets but again it's going to be WAY too long, so kids' storyline, adult story line. I like that a lot too because a big pet peeve of mine is in stories where it keeps switching through times and then i get so lost and have to reread like 10 times to understand... LIKE PLEASE JUST SPLIT IT INTO A FEW CHAPTERS SO IM NOT CONFUSED

Last thing! Most of each character's backstory IS WORKED IN... so for example (A HUGE example) is for at least the first few chapters Armand will be called and referred to as Amadeo. Marius is his adoptive father who rescued him from some sex trafficking scandal or something and renamed him, before he eventually changes his name to Armand while out in the mountains. So, like obviously he's not going to get the name Armand from Santino, but you know... working in what I can :P

OK ACTUALLY LAST LAST THING: I don't know when this will come out... I have a deadline for myself and I'm certain I will get to it, HOWEVER I do not have access to the other Yellowjackets episodes, which is pretty crucial if I want to get into a schedule of posting each week regularly. As of right now I am hoping to get the first chapter out on October 3rd... Yellowjackets will be accessible to me AND then I'll be able to post a chapter on Halloween... YAY!! if that does not work out because the following chapters are taking too long and I release before I can make sure the Schedule is set, it will most likely be one of the Thursdays in October because I REALLY want to get one out on Halloween!!

OK!! hope you guys liked my little rant!! I'll keep everyone who's interested updated on here so if you want to be in the loop follow me (or don't! if you don't you can just check my page!) and again comments motivate me, so if you have any questions or just think it's a cool idea let me know!

[frankendykez]

What r ur oc stories about?

OMG HIHI I NEVER HAD SOMEONE OUTSIDE OF MY CURRENT FRIENDS ACTUALLY ASK BEFORE UMMMM OKAY SO. i have 3! main oc stories that i Really care about at the moment but im Deeply fixated on mainly 1 of them but im gonna start with the one ive been liek "promoting" the most in a sense!! under read more cuz im gonna try to exlain all three of them bless. sorry if i seem overly passionate oops i was TRYING to summarise im sorry its so long u rlly dont Have to read All of it

Forgotten Man's Symphony

his (louis manoir) character is basically a spin off from a character mentioned in the novel frankensetin exactly (1) time by name in elizabeth's letter and by far he is the most organised oc of mine cuz we do actually have a clean, understandable summary doc (thought it is a tad bit outdated but its okay). shes like the most Normal narrative-wise i suppose so i'm not exactly sure on how to explain the plot of forgotten man's symphony it's just like??? him ruining his life in front of the reader and then #Healing?? i guess?? the story is an epistolary that starts with louis' Suicide Letter. so like. yeah. BUT!! i suppose i would say his story very much concerns the concept of like identity (including gender and such she would be considred either transfemme/bigender by the modern world but also idfk cuz i made her complicated and confusing on purpose) and also the lack thereof + the negative impact that comes with trying so hard to fit into the societal norms and what people Want you to be but you just Can't be, cutting away bits of yourself to fit through some sort of hole representing the perfect version of you until theres nothing left of Who You Are expect a palatable and small version yk?? and the the endless pursuit of wanting to be loved that leads yourself to changing and changing for people who just wont care or love you for realsies + @rosaniruby 's words "making it even like that so its not YOU who is loving and being loved but the dim visage of a version of you that fits the picture of what society loves; that it's not a love between individuals, it's the love for a society that cannot ever love anything because it was made to hate. and who believes that portrayal of love will not find it and forever be stuck. smth like society loves what it deems as perfect and hates the imperfect, since perfect doesn't exist it can only do the second one. and louis wanted to love perfect victor, hated his own imperfect self. but the perfect victor doesnt exists, and neither does any version of louis."

i like her he's great. sorry if that was less telling u WHAT his story is and more like Explaining the "themes" as theyre called of the story but idrk how to describe nromal stuff so TAKE WHAT U CAN GET!!! anyways,

Domus Carnis: The Transmutation of Guinevere Manor

idk if you're aware but i have a hyperfix on architectural horror and i DON'T MEAN SCARY GHOSTS AND SERIAL ILLERS IN AN ABANDONED HOUSE I MEAN HAUNTED HOUSES THAT ARE ALIVE THAT IS A METAPHOR FOR PTSD FROM CHILDHOOD TRAUMA ETC ETC!! this story By making it started my whole obsession with the House it's crazy... scary even.. (i recommend you watch jacob geller's video essay about houses) i really do like domus carnis but it's. Messy to say the least. i do feel as if i ought to change the time period it's set in to avoid talking about the wars going on in the time period i accidentally set it in without realising but im procrastinating on that rn. it was Suppose to be late 1800s to early 1900s..

in a few simple words: flesh-and-bone made lesbian sex house. does that get your attention yet. bless

domus carnis (which literally means flesh house in latin or something) will be written in the POV of a 40ish year old widowed woman by the name of harriet wren's diary entries, occasionally switching to the POV of her 20-something year old godson percival who is like old timey jake paul and hes like either a journalistt or a radio host depending if i choose to change the time period or not. we follow them after harriet's husband dies of whatever and they find out he has a large property in a foreign country of which they had not known of prior

somewhere in germany there is a house of ex-aristocrats that no longer live there that is Alive. the House becomes alive because it is in a sense "possesed" (not haunted) the ghost of kathryna von guinevere who was the last one to die in the house, who, in life, was incredibly obsessed with The House for reasons that i fear are too long to explain without boring you and going into info pre-story?? anyways, when she "posseses" the house, the materials of the house shift to flesh, blood and bone because it Materially becomes her body. now, it would be hard to accurately label what represents what body part, because it's all strangely jumbled up and isn't like really human anatomy either cuz kathryna Can in fact see inside herself?? anyways whatever. now, the house is now both her body AND her mind. i have taken the phrase "haunted by memories/trauma" and turned it literal. the house IS haunted, but most of the ghosts aren't ghosts, theyre mostly all manifestation of Memory from her life because she actively is replaying the speech and actions of other people IN her mind to process the (typically traumatic) events of which she's seen or experienced. the ghosts CANNOT do as they please because they only exist at all Due to kathryna remembering them in these specific scenes. the hauntings include scenes of people, sounds, and shadows. unless the "scene" has a mirror, you cannot see kathy directly because you are witnessin things through HER eyes, which makes memories from wee childhood interesting because im wondering if i should make the "people" seem wayy bigger than the viewer if stuff is replayed from childhood..

i really like the fact that a lot of this is based on memory because it opens a lot of doors to me when it comes to the appearance of hauntings. my friend showed me this video depicting neurons forgetting how a face looks like, and i feel as if i could use that in the story because well, realistically kathy isnt going to have a Pristine memory cuz she Was just a human before, not to mention the fact shes already suppose to have issues on facial recognition/rememberance (my friend with these sisues suggetsed htis). the alteration of the ghosts' bodies could be fucked with even more if i try to make use and research into the way that people (mostly children) can in fact like.... change the image of something traumatic in their brain and make it less scary bc the brain is trying to protect them? yeah. AND ALSO the fact that a lot of people forgets certain aspects of their trauma due to their brain trying to protect them as well but still have this feeling of Unease when it comes o specific things that they cant explain, i could incorporate this feeling in certain areas of the House, the strange uneasiness. i experience that myself so i hope ill portray it right!!

i Think that's it?? at least that should be the bare bones of the story... i have a pin board tho if u want to check it out!!

The Epinicium

THIS is the stupid fucking thnag thats ruining my entire life rn. i love it i hate it whagever man. THIS ONE ill keep short and simple because im too fucking mentally ill about it to explain in depth without being asked questions

so basically its fantasy world but not like. Completely new high fantasy i very loosely based the countries off of like real countries and stuff bc lazy as shite so its like mid fantasy maybe HOWEVER

basically its set in this world where theres a shit ton of religions and gods and shit and theres three categories of religions (the world is veyr uhnm. Categorical idk): earth, science and the arts. basically the arts religions are the majority and the gods of those religions are called the muses so thats what i'll be calling them from now on. the basic plot of epinicium is about the muses of the music religion declaring that humanity doesnt treat music as "holy enough" anymore and taking it away as a whole (songbirds go extinct as well which is importnat) which also fucks up the other arts religionsdue to the fact that artforms are very connected but they still exist yk and centuries later our main cast attempts to bring it back!!! we have this server with a channel that has the "summary" but its not a real summary its just an already outdated infodump but we are Trying to fill this doc but we're failing really hard but friendship is magic idk.

fin.

anyways thats. pretty much it i think im sorry its too long once again 😭😭 feel free to ask question esp on the epinicium!! id love to hear abt ur ocs btw ive yapped so much oops

[celandeline]

Summer of Like // Farleigh Start x OC (19)

It’s well past midnight when the party is over, and even later than that when I retreat upstairs, following after a drunk Venetia to make sure she doesn’t fall on the steps. My feet hurt from my borrowed heels, and the thin straps of the blue cocktail dress Venetia gave me are beginning to cut into the skin of my shoulders. 

“You’re sure you don’t need help getting out of your dress?” I ask as Venetia opens the door of her room. 

“You just want to see me naked.” She teases, leaning so that her nose almost brushes mine. 

“And what if I do?” I tease back. 

Venetia giggles. “Goodnight Evie.”

“Night V.” I return, heading into my own room. 

This time, when I see Farleigh sprawled over my bed, I’m not as surprised. He grins, tilting his head. “Do you need any help getting out of your dress?” He drawls. 

I shrug out of the straps, wincing as the elastic scrapes across my tender shoulders. “No, but if you wanted to rub the red marks out of my shoulders, I wouldn’t say no.”

He rolls his eyes, but sits up, gesturing for me to sit on the floor in front of him between his knees. The straps of the dress dangling from my shoulders, I sit down, tipping my head back against the edge of the bed so that I can look up at him while he kneads at my shoulders. 

“So.” I ask. 

“So.” He replies, eyes flicking between where his hands work against the indents left from the straps and my eyes. 

“What brings you to my bedroom?” I ask, grinning. “Besides the obvious things.”

“The obvious things being..?” He asks, the look in his eyes telling me that he knows exactly what I’m implying. He’ll never say it though, not unless I make him. 

“That you’re madly in love with me.” I say.

He laughs, just a little breathy thing, and rolls his eyes again, but notably doesn’t deny it, only - “That seems a bit dramatic.” He says. “But - if you must know, Oliver said some… things.”

“I see.” I say. “You���ve come to complain.”

He digs his fingers into a particularly sore part of my shoulders, and I sigh, melting further against the bed. “I’ll leave, if you want.” His tone is teasing, and his eyes twinkle.

“No, no.” I say. The thought of him taking his hands away from my shoulders seems like the worst thing in the world right now. “Keep going. Tell me about Oliver.”

He continues his massaging. “When you and Felix and V got up to get drinks, I asked him, fuck, chuck or marry - Richard III, Henry VII, or Henry XIII?”

“Fuck Richard III, marry Henry XIII, chuck Henry VII.”

Farleigh hums. “Interesting. I also said fuck Richard III, but I would have switched the other two. Not the point - he, first, outright says that I could just fuck him instead, which, what the hell does that mean? And then, second, tries to talk to me about how he understands what it's like to come from an unstable home and how humiliating it must be for me to have to ask James and Elspeth for everything, which is such bullshit coming from him. I swear, he gets off on having to ask Felix for help.”

“Mm.” I say. From what I know about Farleigh - from what Venetia has told me and what I can piece together from the way the rest of the family talks about him when he’s not around - it’s something of a sore spot, how his mother is running on fumes and how he has to beg for James and Elspeth’s kindness. From what I know about Oliver, he’s been riding on Felix’s coattails since they became friends, and happily. I’ve seen it myself, the adoring way that he looks at Felix, and how he devours even the smallest kindnesses with such vigor it’s almost disturbing. It’s a little offensive, that Oliver would pretend to understand how Farleigh feels when he so clearly doesn’t mind having to beg at all. 

“He knows that I don’t like him. I don’t hate him, obviously, but I don’t-” He pauses. “He just gets under my skin. I mean, he would lick the dirt out from between Felix’s toes if he asked him to, and he would smile about it. It’s pathetic, but it’s exactly the sort of shit that makes these people go wild, and I can’t-” He stops, and lets his hands slide from my shoulders. “Sorry.”

I turn in my spot on the floor so that I can look at him. “Sorry for what?”

He waves a hand through the air, dismissive. “It’s stupid, really. Felix’ll get tired of Oliver by the end of the summer and that’ll be that.”

“Sure.” I say, standing up from the floor. “But it seemed like, and you can correct me if I’m wrong here, you were going to say that you can’t grovel like Oliver does. And I don’t think that’s stupid to be mad about. You shouldn’t have to grovel, I mean, these people are your family.”

Farleigh sighs, turning his head to look out the window, out over the pitch blackness of the grounds. “Yeah.”

“Sucks.” I say, sitting on the bed beside him. 

He turns to look at me as I do, his eyes searching mine. I let him, and after a moment he groans, and flops back onto my mattress. I follow him back with a grin, propping myself up on my side so that I can look down at him. For a minute, we just look at each other, before he breaks the silence. 

“You’re a pretty good singer.” He says. 

“So are you.” I return easily, my free hand moving to brush through his curls, playing with the coarse strands, pulling at the little ringlets. 

His eyes flutter shut as my fingernails scratch against his scalp. I take the opportunity to let my eyes wander over his face. I could stare at him for hours and be content the whole time. If I were a painter, he would be my favorite subject. A modern reimagining of Apollo. 

“You’re just looking at me.” He says, eyes still closed. 

Even though he can’t see my face, I smile. “I’m always looking at you.” I say, dropping my voice in the same way that he did that night on the roof. 

He opens his eyes to meet mine. He almost looks helpless, looking up at me with wide eyes while I play with his hair. 

I lean down, slowly, stopping when the barest hint of our lips brush together. I can feel his sharp intake of breath against my cheek, and before he can say anything, I ask, “Will you unzip my dress?”

He swallows. “Sure.”

Backing away, I slip off the bed, and turn so that my back is toward him. I feel him stand up behind me, and I pull my hair over my shoulder, exposing the zipper. His slender fingers tug at the zip until the dress falls open. I don’t bother holding it up, letting it fall to the floor and leaving me in my underwear. 

I turn back around. There’s a needy look in his eye, and for a moment, I’m tempted, but there’s still a good month of the summer left. Better to stretch it out, I think. “I’m going to go to bed.”

“Okay. Yeah.” He says, sliding past me to head towards the door. Once he reaches it, he lingers, one hand on the doorknob. “Thanks for letting me vent.”

“‘Course.” I say, following him over to the door. “I always like talking to you.”

Farleigh laughs, disbelieving. “Sure.”

“No, really.” I say, winding a hand into his shirt. Gently, I pull him down until we are face to face. I watch his eyes search mine, still just as helpless and needy as before. I let my gaze drop to his lips so he knows what’s coming. 

I tilt my head to close the gap between us, and he meets me halfway, our lips meeting in a warm embrace. Using the hand I have wound into his shirt, I pull him flush to me, and his hands settle on the small of my back. His hands are warm, and he kisses like he’s hungry for it, like he’s been waiting. And I know he has. 

Just when things are getting really hot and heavy, and his hands have started to wander, I pull back, gently sinking my teeth into his bottom lip. 

He groans, low and whiny in the back of his throat. “Fuck.”

I slide out of his hold, and step back into my room. “Goodnight Farleigh.”

He grins, and opens the door. “‘Night Eves.”

I watch him slip out into the hall, and wait until the door’s fully shut behind him to giggle, and flop back down on my bed. 

&lt; previous part | next part >

[shewantstowritefairytales]

You're Losing Me // Coriolanus Snow

~angsty drabble about the end of a relationship with Coriolanus Snow~

“Do you hate me?” he asked. I could see the anger in his eyes. What I would say would only upset him more.

“I don't hate you Coriolanus. I will never hate you.” I hadn’t convinced him, I was holding something back. He knew it, I knew it.

“Don’t lie to me! You promised you would never lie to me.” I didn’t want this. Saying it out loud would make it real, and it would destroy so much.

“Truly Coriolanus, I don’t hate you. I never have. But god, I hate what you have become.” He was angry, I know. Shocked by my honesty, and I already knew.

“What are you talking about? I don't understand.”

“I know you don’t.” and I should have stopped there. I should have taken back my words, apologized, and let it be, but I couldn’t. I was exhausted and once the words started to come out, I knew there was no stopping them. “Do you remember the way we were as children, Coriolanus? We were scared and hungry and we didn't have anything except for each other. We were always there for one another, always putting each other’s needs before our own.” I could see in his eyes as he remembered the way our pasts were intertwined, he couldn't see how things had changed. “The nights you would bring over your favorite blanket for me because I was ill, despite the fact it was your only warm blanket at home. Or the days I would share my lunch with you at school because I knew you wouldn't have any food at home for dinner. We made so many sacrifices for each other.” My heart ached as I thought of our childhoods, the way we survived because of each other. Nowadays, it felt like I spent all my time surviving him.

“Nothing has changed–”

“Everything has changed!! We grew up and you went away. I stayed here waiting for you because I knew you, and I loved you. Because you were it for me. Your heart knew mine, and your mind was beautiful. You were open and understanding and gentle. But then you came back and it was like something had been switched off in your mind. You had become short and stern. Your eyes were empty and your voice was cold. And still I stayed because I could tell you were hurting. Time went on and slowly it felt like you were coming back to me. Like on our wedding night when we sat on the floor in our reception clothes eating junk food. We laughed for hours about how ridiculous we must have looked, and I remember thinking ‘This is it, he’s home. Things are going to be normal, he is going to be okay.’ Coriolanus I stood by you from student to head gamemaker, all the way to becoming the youngest president of Panem. I was so proud and I understood that these job titles came with certain expectations and responsibilities that could not be avoided. I have never once complained about missed birthdays or anniversaries. I bit my tongue when I was brought to important outings, despite knowing that I would spend the evening being talked down to and would be expected to be nothing more than an arm accessory for you. I smiled politely and agreed with everything that was said. I lost myself to love you. With every inch of power you have gained Coriolanus, you have taken a step away from me. You say that you love me, you tell the world that you’re proud to have me by your side, but you can't see it. You can't see that I am dying inside. I am a shell of who I was. I live in painful silence, overly aware that my unhappiness would be an intrusion on this perfect life you have created for us.” My voice cracked, tears begging to fall as I took a shaky breath. My hands were shaking as I rubbed my palms against the sides of my dress, attempting to smooth down any non-existent wrinkles as a sort of grasp for some control of this terrible moment.

“You’re losing me, and you have done nothing to stop it.” The silence from him was expected, after all, to him this came out of nowhere. He had convinced himself and the world that things between us were perfect. To me, this was years in the making. For as long as I could remember, I had convinced myself it was necessary, losing myself to love him. To make myself dull so that he could shine. But this was the final straw. To accuse me of hating him when I have done all but kill myself to love him. I never asked him to choose me, I had convinced myself that one day all my sacrifices would lead him to put me first. But in the end I got no love, only accusations and disbelief. Only a single tear fell from my eyes as I saw the decision cloud into his eyes. He had decided that losing me would be worth it. I nodded and turned to walk out. Maybe losing me would be worth it for him, but not for me. I would find myself again.

[thepalaceofharuhime]

Hmmm…

Looking at your fandoms, I can’t help but think some sort of Bingqiu in Spy X Family (or a SxF Xianxia fusion) could be super fun!

The question is… what would their roles be.

Assassin Luo Binghe, or spy Luo Binghe… and which of them gets gender swapped. 🤔

Oh!! Maybe Shen Yuan was meant to be an ally of the female half of the main duo, Liu Mingyan, but through shenanigans he somehow ends up with her role instead, and the System demands he fake marry Binghe anyway. 😂

This is exactly the kind of prompt i was hoping for! TY!!! 🙏

The way i see it Binghe would definitely be the assassin, Shen Yuan is too big of a softie not to mention one who so easily put on the mask of another man before so he would definitely be the spy.

But also being oblivious to feelings yet a capable badass, bad in the kitchen, feeling inadequate as a partner? All Shen Yuan. Binghe with his protagonist Halo meanwhile would fit better with Mr. All around perfect Husband. So i guess it'd be a little like Yor and Loyd had switched professions.

Shen Yuan's over protective brother in a position of power? I wonder who that would be? Enter Shen Jiu haha. Rather than secret police he'd be a detective looking in to all the murders rather than keeping state secrets from spies though. To keep that rivalry between him Binghe. The family member Binghe became an assassin to provide for? His mom. The gardener AKA the guy who hired him and hands him his missions? Meng Mo. Franky,the spy's funny informant and gadget supplier, occasional babysitter and not to mention bestfriend? Shang Qinghua.

I dont know if i should replace Fiona with Liu Quinge as Fiona's character really would fit Binghe better. But Liushen is a weakness of mine even if onesided and those two were just made for coworker romances. Maybe I should give Binge someone trying to woe him too? Sha hualing? Then if i dont go with your other idea of having SY transmigrate in to Liu Mingyan (which i am saving up in my head because i absolutely love the idea) then i can add something in the background with her and Sha hualing. I'm positive i could find a way to write in Mobei for SQH or i could go with Scumplane and have him end up Shen Jiu and actually yeah that would work, need to distract SJ long enough for Bingyuan to get it on afterall. Oh what about SQH x SJ x LQG? Or should Shen Yuan get a second husbandafterall? Alternatively imagine LQG crying over a bowl of icecream.

Next question is if SY didnt transmigrate into LMY then who is he? What about Ning Yingying? Who could be SJ's little sister in this world? Or he couldve just been put in there as a female version of himself. Or like it was with Shen quingiu a character who vaguely resembles him and has a similar name. She just happens to be a woman though. Or maybe go with the mulan aproach and have him crossdress? But then how does he explain to his brother that he's suddenly - he could say that he's in love with binghe and the only way to marry him was fake his papers to pretend to be a woman since queer marriage isnt yet allowed in their fictional country. Like no one cares if they date its just they havent gotten to the legalisation of marriage yet. And if SJ asks why they had to get married so suddenly anyway (cuz no way in hell is SY getting away with saying he forgot to tell him for a year) he could say that they had to so they could adopt their daughter. Who in this case scenario could be Ning Yingying, should she still have Anyas powers? damian could be Ming fan or the little palace girl or whatever (im not yet far enough in the books to now her and the old man that well so id have to check the wiki) and i could make the palace master donovan desmond and have SY and LBH team up to take him down in the end.

Anyways yeah these are just some ideas, and again thanks for the prompt! I can't wait to write this! Maybe i'll draw something for it later too. ❤️

[katherinecrighton]

Nuts and Bolts: Some Writing Advice

(Reposting a 2013 post from the Anna Katherine co-tumblr)

A friend of mine awhile back asked the aether for some practical, straightforward writing advice, which I assumed meant nuts and bolts stuff.

This is what I ended up writing to her.

(Caveat emptor: 1. The reason advice looks contradictory is because it literally is different for everyone — shit that works for one person won’t work for someone else. Just stick it in your toolbox and move along. 2. I will say obvious shit that you already know. Because it’s possible somebody else doesn’t. 3. You may totally disagree with anything/everything I say, oh my god, that’s fine.)

1. Use the word “said.” Throw in a “she declaimed” every once in a while if you like, but don’t do it all the time. Feel free to put in no dialogue tags at all, if it’s clear who’s speaking. But “said” is free and generally invisible to the reader (and the goal is to not remind the reader that they’re reading).

2. Writing advice for short fiction and writing advice for novels are and writing advice for one genre versus another are all going to tell you slightly (or wildly) different things. So, you know, watch out for that. I suggest switching mediums entirely, and try reading up on screenplays or three-panel comics.

3. Stick your finished draft into a Kindle or some other robot reader, and have a mechanical voice read the story to you. It’s a step removed, and you’ll hear where it clunks. Make notes as it goes.

4. If you don’t have a robot reader, read it out loud to yourself. Actually out loud. Put check marks wherever you cringe. It’s where the reader will likely cringe too.

5. Start your story at the point of change. It’s more interesting. Backfill with exposition a couple of paragraphs later.

6. Sometimes, if I’m writing a one-off, I pick a motif and stick with it as a lodestone for all my descriptions. It’s a way of creating a sort of subliminal mood and atmosphere for the reader, while at the same time maintaining a nice sense of continuity.

7. The English language likes to hear things in threes. Three bears, three nights, three wishes, and what with one thing and another, three years passed. English also likes iambic pentameter and any other rhyme or rhythm scheme it can get its hands on. Readers want language to both have a pretty meaning (three brothers seek their fortune) and a pretty sound (now is the winter of our discontent). The fastest way to do this, and not have it be totally obvious, is to combine the two. Have three lines of description, three examples of something, three jokes — and do it semi-regularly. It creates a rhythm in your work, like a heartbeat. Study other people’s stories and see if you can find where they’re doing the same or similar things. Count stuff.

8. Then, later, fuck with your readers by breaking the rhythm. Stop the heartbeat. Miss the step. The reader will get nervous and uncomfortable and have no idea why. Makes for good tension.

9. Other things that make readers uncomfortable: Set dressing. We’re used to visual mediums. If you want to set up a really uncomfortable scene, describe key things around it going in, and make it clear that it’s Not Okay. A pair of scissors that have been left half open. A door that is not entirely shut. A radio caught between two stations, the garden hose still left running. Nothing overt, nothing obvious – just stuff that feels uncomfortable to read. Do enough of those in a row, as you head toward a confrontation, and the reader will be a ball of avidly reading tension by the end of it. 

10. Graphic sex scenes are equal to action scenes. In both instances, know where everybody is, and what everybody’s doing. Describe with more physical action than you think is necessary. If the reader doesn’t know where everybody’s limbs are and what tools are being used, then they’ll get confused and bored. You can always edit later.

[ssplague]

Warnings ⛔️ Soulmates, Vampire AU, Smut, supernatural pregnancy, angst, violence, great bodily injury, blood, attempted SA (not detailed), feticide, radicalized religion, ye old time Misogyny, death.

This is the continuation (2/3) of Save a prayer 🙏🏽

Honorable Mentions:

@viridianheroics @maggiecc

🫀 🔥 ❤️‍🔥

The very first time Katsuki had intended to have you for dinner was four hundred years before you two reunite. He had been watching your little cottage outside of town for weeks, he studied your routine, noticed you lived alone and how many visitors you had on average. You were a vision to the hungry vampire, your beauty made both his fangs and loins ache with desire. So much so that he peeked into your bedroom more than once, watching you in your most intimate moments. He decided to have some fun with you before ending your life, which wasn’t something he often even considered doing with prey.

Faking an injury, he limped up the path approaching your home as the sun was setting. You’d just returned from town when you noticed him, and your eyes shine with worry, “Sir, do you need some help? Are you alright?!”.

Katsuki turned on the charm for you, and even with you normally being impossible to sway, he had you internally swooning. When your hands fly up to touch your burning cheeks, the supernatural male realizes he may have over done it a bit. Considering he wasn’t faking his interest in you, it had been a bit easy for him to do so. Regardless, you pull him along the pathway, eager to get him inside your house “its warmer in here, I’ll make some tea and we can sit infront of the fire”. Over an hour had passed and the two of you had already discussed a wide array of topics. The smile he wore was genuine when you would stifle a giggle and lightly slap at his arm when he said something vulgar or mean spirited. Just as you had slightly shifted closer towards him, a knock came from the front door. You immediately looked uneasy as it came again, and Katsuki’s hand came to rest over your’s, “What’s wrong?”. “The preachers son has been coming around in the evenings to see me…I believe he intends to begin courting me…” you whispered, finding yourself moving even closer to the man beside you “I don’t like him Katsuki, I’ve never even given him any sort of attention before…The people in the village keep trying to push me into a courtship, no one will listen to how I feel…They just dismiss my refusal, claiming that it’s normal to have doubts”.

The thought of some man forcing his unwanted presence inside of your house made Bakugou mad. The sadness and fear in your eyes brought some strange protective side of the angry vampire out. Hearing the knocking become more insistent, it’s without thinking he takes your little hands between his much larger ones. If you were suprised by the slight chill of his skin you made no fuss, only stared up at him with something akin to both hope and a slight tint of something else….”What if I answer the door, and when he asks for you, I will inform him that your late parents and mine had an agreement that betrothed us, and I have finally come to claim you after the two of us had lost touch during the time I spent working over seas”he was suprised that something made up on a whim could sound so serious.

“That’s a wonderful idea! Especially with my parents being unable to confirm or deny this! Please do it, I’d be ever so grateful” your hands grow warmer in his icy ones, and that warmth begins to creep up his arms and sink into his chest. The vampire instantly regretting letting you go for even a second as he gets up. Once his back is to you his frown is switched out for a truly menacing expression. Katsuki swings the door open and the man outside has his fist in the air to continue his assault on the wood. “May I help you?” the ice in immortals tone has the smaller man flinching. Though the creep is quick to recover and immediately begins sizing the handsome stranger in the doorway up, (despite being incredibly small in stature himself) “I’m here to see Ms.L/N, who exactly are you?”. “Who I am is none of your business, and you won’t be seeing her this evening, we aren’t taking visitors” Katsuki says dismissively, attempting to shut the door, only to have the smaller man try to grab ahold of it and keep it open. “Why are you speaking for her? You are-“ “Y/N is my betrothed, and has been for years, I’m speaking for her because I am her soon to be husband, it is not appropriate for an unmarried man to be coming round visiting a woman in the evening, especially without invitation, so don’t bother returning, good night!” Katsuki yanks the door shut, the preacher’s son barely able to let go before his fingers were slammed in it.

You descended upon Bakugou soon as he locked the door and turned around. You two stayed quiet for a moment before the male you were hugging gave a nod that the coast was clear. You looked like you were about to burst with excitement, “I think it worked! Thank you so much for getting rid of him!”. Gods you were too sweet, and so beautiful as your eyes sparkled with gratitude. Katsuki allows you to lead him back towards where you’d previously sat in front of the fire, albeit much closer together this time. “So um…he’s rather persistent if you hadn’t noticed” you begin, with nervousness evident in your slight fidgeting. “I noticed” sneers your companion, pulling you further against his side. You feel your cheeks warming up and your heart begins to thump rapidly beneath your bosom, forcing yourself to continue, “So what I was meaning to say was…he will probably check back up and see if you’re still with me sporadically throughout the next few weeks…so I was just wondering if you weren’t in a hurry to get somewhere…I’d enjoy your company for however long you’d agree to stick around…”.

You were supposed to be his dinner, and now he’s playing the role of your soon to be husband. “Hmmm I suppose I can stick around…but what will I get out of this arrangement?” The handsome devil is certainly playing his part as he smirks back at your wide doe eyes and parted lips. “I don’t have a lot of money…but I could part with some if that’s what you wish-“ you gasp as you find yourself on your back, staring up into the captivating crimson eyes of your guest. “Nah I’m not after your money princess, what I desire from you is just something as simple as a cure of my loneliness” a cold calloused finger plays with your bottom lip, and you lay there wide eyed and clueless “If I agree to your proposition, then for the entire duration of my stay I want you to act like my wife, you’re to preform all the womanly duties carried out by an adoring wife to please her beloved husband, do we have a deal then?”. You turn your head to the side to contemplate your decision, only to have him tsk at you “Look at your husband when he’s talking to you beautiful”.

So what if he might have had to use his power of persuasion a bit here, couldn’t risk you possibly denying him.

When you look back up at him your eyes immediately lock with his own. His eyes are such a vibrant crimson it’s almost like they’re glowing as the draw you in further, until they are all you can see, “Y-Yes, we have a deal”. Then it’s over and you shake your head a bit, must have been a trick of the fire light, since you must have extinguished all the lamps earlier during your uninvited guests appearance. “Good, now come here so I can hold you properly”.

The first week you’d spent having Katsuki in your home was a strange one, strange but good. Sometimes he would take off for most of the day, and you would go about your usual routine. At night when he would return, you’d welcome him home, and the two of you would sit at your rickety little table and have dinner together. One of those dinners he brought out a bottle of wine and asked you to have a drink with him. You tried to turn him down stating you didn’t drink, but somehow you find yourself with a half full glass infront of the fireplace once more. Only this time you are in a much more intimate position, your seated between his legs with your back to his chest. The wine has you feeling warm and a bit drowsy, so much so that the kiss pressed to the back of your neck doesn’t even startle you. “Kat…Suki” you mumbled before you fell asleep, head resting on his shoulder.

Since that time, you had gotten more comfortable with physical contact between you and your guest. When you would cook he more often than not would come up behind you and wrap his arms around your waist, always kissing your neck so sweetly as he did so. Two weeks had passed since the preacher’s son had last come calling (You had eventually mentioned the idiots name, Mineta). Earlier that afternoon a friend of yours had invited you to pick apples from their orchard, and you had agreed, promising Katsuki you would make him the best apple pie he’s ever had when you returned. For once it was you that surprised him with a quick peck on the cheek and a nervous “I’ll be back soon my beloved husband”.

The blonde was stuck in the spot you’d left him in over an hour later, his hand over the warm spot you’d left on his cheek. Trying to deny the accusatory voice inside his head that claimed he saw you as more than a meal or a conquest, until a loud knock interrupted his thought process. Already aware who’d be standing outside, he stormed over to the door and throws it open with a frightening scowl on his handsome face. “Oh, you’re still here are you?” Mineta sneered as he took a step back. “Why the hell wouldn’t I be? This is the house of my intended, what brings you out here to visit us again?” Bakugou uses his much larger body to block the annoying young man’s view as he tries to look past him. “No one has seen y/n in town recently, so I just thought I’d check in-“ Katsuki interrupts the twerp “Correction; YOU haven’t seen her, we went into town just yesterday, Now correct me if I’m wrong but you sure do seem to have an interest in my soon to be wife, shouldn’t you be taking your vow of abstinence soon? If you plan on being a proper man of god that is”. “How dare you insinuate something so-“ Mineta tries to defend himself but Katsuki is quick to shut him down; “Stay away from my woman, she’s taken, or are you too stupid to understand what that means?” “Now see here, you just show up out of the blue one evening claiming that her parents planned on marrying her off without any proof of it…I’m merely looking after my father’s flock, as they will be under my protection one day so it’s only normal for me to look into any situations I think have inkling of some sort of supernatural dabbling or rather unholy air about them” Mineta sniffs as he smirks at the angry “man” infront of him “Miss y/n has such a pretty neck, would be a shame if it was to remain unprotected wouldn’t it?”.

The sound of your name was enough to make Katsuki keep his anger in check, and he couldn’t help but laugh at Mineta’s attempt at a threat. “It’s a good thing she has me here with her then isn’t it?” Without waiting for a response he shuts the door, laughing loudly as he left a scandalized Mineta staring slack jawed at it.

“I’m back!” You called out as you hung up your coat and removed your shoes. The heavy basket on your hip filled with apples but a couple extra things on top of it. “Welcome home my dearest, you were later than I’d imagined…I was about to go out looking for you” Katsuki appears in the doorway of the kitchen, allowing you to slip past him. “I’m sorry to worry you, MoMo and Ochako invited me to prepare pies with them! I think it was just so they could question me about the handsome man who accompanied me to the market yesterday…When I mentioned being “engaged” they almost lost it, MoMo sent me home with a bottle of her father’s apple wine as a present!”. You stopped unpacking your basket after making a sudden realization, “You made dinner for us? Oh Katsuki you didn’t have to-“.

“I wanted to give you the night off since you were out with your friends, i assure you it wasn’t that big a deal my love” Your face heated up at that last part, you were quick to set about putting your already prepared pies in the oven. Afterwards you allowed Katsuki to pull out your chair at the kitchen table, pushing it in before taking a seat himself. You noticed he already had poured each of you a glass of the gifted wine, and as he raised his own you were quick to mimic his action. “To us” he said simply, giving you that devilish smirk that made you feel all sorts of ways you shouldn’t. “T-Too us” you simper, raising the glass to your lips. After taking a bite of the meal Katsuki had prepared you stared at him wide eyed, “This might be the best thing Ive tasted in my entire life!”. The rest of the meal went on in a similar manner, you continuously complementing the smug man’s cooking longer after he had finished. Regardless, he waited for you patiently to be done, unable to take his eyes off of you as he sipped at the wine in his glass.

Once the kitchen was cleaned and the pie had been removed from the oven, you set it on the cooling rack and began to fidget nervously upon realizing all your night time chores were done. “Come sit with me beautiful” Katsuki called to you from the usual spot the two of you occupied on the plush living room rug. “I was thinking about heading to bed early tonight…if you’d like to come join me” you say over your shoulder as you head towards the bedroom. Having been on this earth long enough to recognize what that meant, the vampire was on his feet in an instant. You’d just began to undress as he entered the room, watching with hunger as your dress fell to the floor. Once you had everything off, you shyly turned back towards him and he was infront of you in the blink of an eye. Allowing him to pull you forward against his hard body, the feeling of his cold hands was soothing across your warm skin. You feel your back meet the old worn blankets of your bed, you tried your best to remain calm as you feel his tongue slip past your lips. Soon you were copying his actions, a burning need starting to build between your legs as you felt his manhood slipping across your sticky lower lips. “I-I’ve never done this before” you manage to stutter out. The man above you replied with a gentle hum, he figured as much, “Do you want me to stop? We don’t have to-“ “No I want to give myself to you, I want you to be the one…I want to be able to remember this night long after you’ve moved on and left me…” your words have you feeling choked up, the thought of him leaving you eventually, has now become a painful one. Seeing your eyes filled with tears is what finally makes the cold undead monster accept the fact that he truly had fallen in love. You were without question his destined one, the only person capable of stirring up these feelings inside of him. “What if I want to stay here with you? What if I asked you to really become my wife? The only woman I’ll ever want, the only woman I could ever truly love?” Those words felt so foreign on his tongue, but seeing the happiness in your eyes and having your arms wrap around him in the tightest of hugs, had him happy to have said them.

“Then I would say please make love to me, and how much I love and adore you, my future husband”

Katsuki made sure to keep a level head once the tip of his cock breeched your virgin cunt. The tight heat of your internal walls and the sound of your pained whimpers was almost proving to be too much for him. “Can I move now angel? Are you ready for what’s to come?” The strain in his voice is evident and you cling tighter to your lover as you encourage him to continue. It took a bit to get used to the continuous intrusion and withdrawal of his hardness but after some time had passed the good feelings began to come. “Oh Katsuki, ohhh god I’ve never felt like this before, please give me more I want to feel all of you” you cry as your nails scrape at the skin of his back. Allowing himself to get lost in the sensation of being inside of you, he can do nothing but comply to your request. The once shallow thrust of his hips become deeper as the pace becomes to quicken. Feeling you tightening up around him and hearing your begging has his own orgasm overcoming him, “Come with me angel, I wanna feel you let go while I fill up your tight little cunt…that’s it there you go baby, take it fucking take all of it…fuck!”.

You let out the most content of sighs at the feeling of his seed pouring into your womb. Over come by the bliss of your first ever orgasm, you kiss Katsuki again, playfully sucking on his tongue. After a few moments of silence he feels you shifting beneath him, lifting his head up he’s surprised to see the serious look you’re giving him. “I meant what I said, I know I’m in love with you…but I need you to tell me the truth, what was the real reason you came here? Your answer won’t change the way I feel, you’ll still have a place here with me, but if I’m to truly give you all of my love then there can’t be any lies between us”. The empty feeling as he pulls out of you is an obvious shared one, because you find yourself being pulled against his chest as soon as you had begun to scoot towards the man you love. Katsuki feels his frozen heart grow heavy with fear at you not accepting him or his love for you. Expecting to be forced from your bed as soon as he utters his confession. Yet your reaction comes In a surprising manner, one he’ll eventually come to expect from you in the future. “Oh….well don’t you need to you know…drink some of my blood?”. So he does.

The sensuality of the action leads to you begging to once again to make love, and you do until the sun comes up. He doesn’t let you leave the bed when you finally wake up, and the two of you take turns feeding each other apple pie afterwards. The new found domesticity in his once tumultuous life has the vampire relaxing into it with surprising ease. It most likely stemmed from the continuous outpouring of your love and the eager ways you displayed your affections. He’d met the townsfolk and friends you’d spoken so highly of. The same people who attended the marriage ceremony, had even come together to throw you two a celebratory banquet and toasted to your lengthy and loving union. The daily routine you’d developed now as newly weds didn’t differ much from what it had been before. With the exception of Katsuki venturing out more, helping the townsfolk do various odd jobs with which they’d require either his muscle or wide array of skills to get completed easier.

On nights he returned home late, you’d often be waiting up for him in bed, naked as the day you were born and wanting something you still became flustered to ask for. It was only after you’d spent one full year of your lives together when you began waking up feeling ill and much too tired to leave home as often anymore. After coming to visit you one morning, MoMo had returned that afternoon with the town’s doctor. One check up told him all he needed to know, and you nearly fainted after he spoke “Congratulations Mrs.Bakugou, it seems you’re with child”.

You let Momo talk your ear off with excitement as she helped you prepare dinner. Your hand resting upon your stomach after giving her a hug and bidding her goodbye. You tried to calm your nerves as you awaited your husband’s arrival back home. The knowing smile MoMo gave Katsuki as she bid him hello when they met on the road, seemed to freak the man out and afterwards he rushed home. The two of you ate dinner in mostly silence that evening, and once you were finished your lover has no objections as you pull him towards the fireplace. Once settled in his tight hold, you told him what the doctor had said earlier. The joy you’d expected from your partner was replaced with a look of bewildered confusion, “H-How? That shouldn’t be possible! Are you sure?!”.

You begin to shrink in on yourself, already beginning to picture a future of you and your baby alone. In his surprise the vampire had allowed his grip to go slack, this made it easy for you to move away from him and get to your feet. He looked up at you, but the faraway look in his gaze made it appear as if he was looking through you. Rather than continue standing there and looking foolish, you fled to the bedroom. Once the door shut behind you, you finally began to cry. Curling up on your now shared bed, you sobbed your heart out. He’s going to leave now, I’ll have to do this alone.

Meanwhile in the living room, Bakugou was still sitting gobsmacked in-front of the fireplace. Pregnant? But how? It just couldn’t be! He’d been positive the ability to impregnate someone had been lost with his humanity. Granted, it’s not as though any human he’d taken to bed in the past lived to tell the tale. You’d looked so excited to inform him of this new development, and now… The thought of your eyes losing the sparkle that accompanied your excitement, your lips trembling as you tried not to cry. “Dammit!” He hissed in frustration, realizing you’d left him alone in here awhile ago.

The bedroom door creaked quietly as Katsuki peeked In, you weren’t moving in your fetal position on the bed. Your even breathing was picked up by his heightened sense of hearing. You must have cried yourself to sleep…Silently he approaches the bed, leaning down to place a single kiss on your forehead, “I’ll be back, I promise”. If you had been awake you’d have seen the shadows in the bedroom elongate and seemingly absorb Katsuki inside of them.

Appearing inside of a well worn house just as far out in the woods as your own, Katsuki glanced around the living room. Deciding he wasn’t about to go hunting around for the owner of the home, the blonde takes a deep breath, only to immediately bellow “Where are you? You damn DEKU!”. A commotion comes from behind one of the two doors off the living room’s hallway, a few more bumps could be heard, another loud yelp afterwards. The door opened just as the vampire was about to start cursing, “O-Oh hey th-there kaachan! What brings you-“ stutters the green haired man as he tries to stifle a yawn. “What took so long were you asleep or some shit?” Katsuki questions raising an eyebrow, but before the other male can reply he continues, “Cause if you were I don’t care, I need to ask your opinion on something”.

Seeing the way Deku’s face lit up at that Katsuki sneers at him, “Not that it’s worth anything I just…I don’t want to fuck this up”. Izuku starts the fire back up in the grate as he sits on his sofa, ready for his old friend to begin his explanation. “You got married and didn’t even bother sending me an invitation? Not even an announcement? That’s hurtful Kaachan…I thought we were past all th-“ Izuku’s chastising is cut short by Bakugou’s temper flaring up “THATS ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY AFTER MY ENTIRE EXPLANATION?!?!”. Then it dawned on the other man, Izuku may be petty, but there was a much bigger problem to deal with than that. “Did you say your lover is…pregnant? It can’t possibly be YOUR baby Kaachan, she must be lying or-“ “Don’t you dare say another bad word about y/n! I know that baby is mine, there is no way it could be anyone else’s! She’s never been with anyone other than me and I know that for a fact” Katsuki spat, red eyes narrowed at the other immortal man.

Izuku gets up, muttering as he grabs a candlestick, lighting it then entering the previously closed door. Before the angry vampire can start his rant, his companion returns with a few different books in his hands. Spreading out the large tombs infront of the fire he begins to pour over the various dog eared pages. Katsuki had sat quiet, letting the damn nerd do his research and hoping he’ll have an explanation to give him as hours fly past. The sun would rise soon, he knows that you waking up alone would only worsen the pain he’d caused you last night. “I need to get back to her, so-“ Katsuki is interrupted by Izuku “Take that orange gemstone so I can find or signal you, the one on my nightstand that you refused to take last time I-“. “Got it, look, I know it’s annoying to do this but if you do figure this out then….I guess you can come to dinner or something, to meet y/n! Not as a thank you or some simp shit like that” The blonde refuses to meet the ecstatic green eyes that began to sparkle with happiness. “I’m going to hold you to that Kaachan” “Tch, of course you Fuckin’ are…nerd!”.

Sneaking back into the bedroom, the nervous vampire sheds his clothes before sliding into bed behind you. He’s gentle when his arms wrap around you, his larger hand coming to rest over your’s laying protectively atop your belly. “I love you and whatever you got growing in there….I couldn’t leave you guys even if you asked me to” he whispers, squeezing your soft body and finally allowing himself to relax. For the first time in a long time he dreamt of his mortal life; Being a carefree child, living with his loud mom, and quiet dad.

It took a couple days of constant reassurance, but you soon began believing Katsuki when he said he wasn’t planning on abandoning you or the baby. Izuku had yet to contact him, and it made the vampire anxious. After completing some work in town for the day, Katsuki began to feel a familiar hunger in his gut…How could this work if you were now carrying a baby? It needed all your nutrients, but still Katsuki wouldn’t be satisfied with anything other than your blood. He’d make sure you ate a bigger dinner than usual tonight to hopefully replenish what he takes from you later on.

☁️🌒☁️

The moon shifted behind the clouds as Mineta makes his way out of town and through the woods. He’s a coward at heart, every little sound of leaves rustling or twigs snapping has him jumping or running. Finally he sees your cabin up ahead, and he tip toes stealthily up the path. As he gets closer the sounds that reach his ears are something better than any fantasy he could imagine. Peering through the gap in the blinds he sees you spread out infront of your fireplace. If only you were alone… Of course you were getting pounded by that damn Bakugou, or that’s what it seemed like…Hold on what is he-? The peeping Tom stifles a gasp as he takes in the scene behind the glass. He’s careful as he slowly walks back the way he came, a look of absolute terror on his face.

A vampire! You married one of those undead demons of hell, not only that but you let him ravage, defile you, and calmly lay there allowing him to drink your blood? Surely you could see reason and repent for all this wrong that you’d been coheresed into participating in. Mineta knew it was his personal duty to bring you back into the light, and assist you in casting out that hellspawn. This task was up to him alone, he wouldn’t tell anyone! You would become his wife afterwards, lest he threaten to tell the entire town you’d laid with a demon, a hit your reputation would never recover from, you’d be exiled from society. The perverse mind of the preacher’s son began fashioning the most absurd of tales that made him out to be heroic and magnificent; Busting into your home and saving your life but as for your unfortunate coward of a husband…he will have taken his own life after selling you off to a demon. Surely the townsfolk and his father would praise him for such noble acts of bravery for years to come!

🪵🔥

“I didnt take too much did I? Are you sure you don’t want to wait and finish this up tomorrow” the fretful voice of your husband asks as he hovers over you. Katsuki was hesitant to continue making love to you after he’d had his fill of your blood. You appreciated the concern, but right now you felt quite lively, and something inside of you wanted sex now more than ever. So imagine the surprise of your lover, when you sat up quickly and shoved him down on the rug in your place. Not giving the vampire a chance to recover as you began to lower yourself down on his length, hissing softly at the familiar stretch. No time was wasted once you had him buried inside your cunt, you began to bounce yourself up and down repeatedly. “I don’t need you to be gentle and doting right now, I need this!” You shamelessly exclaim, throwing your head back and moaning loudly as you continue riding your lover enthusiastically. Katsuki could only lay there and stare at you in wide eyed fascination. His adorable shy little wife was the one fucking him? This can’t be right, who are you and what had you done with y/n? Then a thought occurred to him, could this be a side effect of human pregnancy? The vampire had been learning by trial and error when it came to both bodily and hormonal changes being experienced by his pregnant wife.

As the months begin to progress, Katsuki began to notice you growing pale and increasingly more exhausted. It scared him one day when you’d slept over twelve hours straight. With no word still from that damn Deku, the irritable immortal decided to take things into his own hands. You probably wouldn’t appreciate just drinking blood outright, but the little leech inside of you needed it, and it would continue taking yours if it didn’t get the sustenance it required. Soon it was your husband who prepared all the food you ate, and slowly but surely you regained your color, energy, and started gaining weight. When the doctor came for your six month check up, he’d ruled both mother and child to be healthy. When he mentioned how quickly the baby was developing, you’d mentioned the father’s family’s good genes being to thank.

After showing the physician out, Katsuki was about to serve you dinner, only for a frantic knocking to interrupt this. Resting a hand on your shoulder to make sure you stayed seated at your rickety kitchen table, the angry blonde stomps out to shoo this unwanted visitor away. As soon as he opens the door however, the sight of his old friend standing there with a shit eating grin on his freckled face, only makes the vampire’s teeth clench and eyes narrow. “I believe you invited me over for dinner Kaachan” Izuku’s smile widening as he continues “Arent you going to invite me inside? It’s chilly out here”. “My love, who is it?” You call out, waddling slowly from the kitchen only to spot the newcomer and freeze. No longer waiting for an invitation, the guest side steps Katsuki and strides towards you. “Hello! My name is Izuku Midoryia, and you must be y/n! Kaachan and I have been best friends since we were children, im so happy to finally be meeting you!” The green haired male moves to hug you but stops short, blushing furiously as he reigns himself in. Only to be surprised by you moving the rest of the way to try your best at hugging, despite your baby bump lightly poking at him.

“How far along are you? If you don’t mind me asking?! Oh and Congratulations!” Izuku stammers, nervous he will invoke the wrath of an angry Kaachan. “Six months! And thank you! I’m glad you finally came to see us, Katsuki had mentioned you once but refused to tell me anymore about you or anyone else in his life for that matter” you chirp happily, letting the aforementioned male steer you back into the kitchen “Let me grab you a chair! The other two are in the closet-“. Before your guest can refuse you over exerting yourself, Katsuki makes sure you sit down and pushes your chair in. Then he leaves the room and reappears immediately, huffing angrily as he shoves the chair into Deku with more force than necessary.

You and Izuku chat animatedly as Katsuki brings the dishes full of food to the table. Grabbing an extra set of silverware, glass, and plate for the green eyed idiot, who promptly thanks him. Katsuki loads your plate up ridiculously full and kisses your forehead as you thank him for cooking yet again. Always the observant one, Izuku noticed that the food on your plate had been purposely separated from the rest of the meal laid out on the table. As he served himself he smiled at the realization that his friend had figured something so important out on his own. The deliciousness of this meal was not to be wasted on the pregnant female, or the green haired know it all. Katsuki drained half a bottle of spirits to put up with the non stop praise from the two of them.

The trio moved to the living room, getting comfortable on the worn out furniture and continuing to make conversation late into the evening. Katsuki noticed your eyes growing heavy, despite your protests he scoops you up and takes you to the shared bedroom. “Good night Izuku! See you next week at the same time, right?” You shouted over your lover’s shoulder. “Most definitely, sweet dreams y/n-Chan & baby!” Deku replied, still smiling as he stayed put on the sofa. Staring into the fireplace the flames dancing around inside his green eyes, the cheerful disposition you’d left him with began to dissipate the longer he waited. This conversation was going to be as dreadful as it was difficult, a serious choice needed to be made. A choice that would end your life either way it was decided, but it had to be done. You were too far along for any sort of pregnancy termination, the alchemist had spent an extra month trying to find some sort of extraction method but at six months there was nothing more that could be done.

Ever the doting husband; Katsuki helps you strip down and ensures the room will stay warm enough, courtesy of the new wood stove he’d acquired. Since your tummy began to grow you’d taken to sleeping in just your panties, now the room was always comfortable in temperature for you both. “I need to talk to Deku some before he goes, I’ll come lay down with you afterwards” your lover says, kissing your lips and pressing another to your stomach before he leaves the room. Sleep came easily to you that night.

The two men sat side by side on the sofa, the room around them growing ever darker as the lamps had been extinguished. The dwindling fire had been reduced to embers by the time the green haired male finishes filling in the other on the research he’d done. The pitch black surrounding them was a perfect representation of their conversation, and overall disposition. The blonde hid his face in his hands halfway through the other’s explanation. His friend waited for the other to speak, calmly allowing the much needed moment of silence. Izuku knew Katsuki was coming to terms with what had to be done, this would weigh heavily on his conscience for years to come. Either way the love of the vampire’s life was doomed, the choices were essentially the same. That being said, they were also drastically different….It had to be your choice, and when the time comes hopefully your husband would honor your wishes.

“The doctor in the village obviously can’t deliver the baby…So wha-“ one immortal talks over the other, saying; “If you will agree to it, I will assist you with the birth”. Sighing heavily the father to be comes to an agreement with the man seated beside him. “Well I’ll get out of your hair now, good night Kaachan” Izuku says quietly as he begins casting the spell that will return him to his own residence. “Y/n’s looking forward to seeing you again so you better show up” the threatening implication evident from the always aggressive one. “I wouldnt dream of missing it, see you then” as soon as Izuku says this he disappears. Katsuki sighs heavily, now left alone with his thoughts he begins to tremble and tug at his hair. Knowing you were the only cure for this pain he was experiencing, has the vampire hurrying into your shared room. After stripping down and sliding into bed, he pulls you close. Sleep eluded him that night.

“Katsuki…what’s wrong?”you asked him after dinner one evening, “Ever since Izuku came by you’ve been acting different”. The words of his dearest of course rang true; Katsuki had been in a constant state of complacency since the alchemist’s departure. His self loathing had reached an all time high, how could he have possibly done this to you? No matter how badly he felt he could never fully bring himself to regret ever catching sight of you that first time. The creature that is supposedly cruel to the core and incapable of feeling love, or any emotion for that matter, had proved centuries of lore to be a lie. The sad part about it was that you would be the one to pay the ultimate price. “Katsuki”

You weren’t about to let him keep this from you anymore, he had to tell you. Allowing yourself to be lead to the same spot you and him had occupied that first night you’d met, you sat down and watched him pull the drapes closed and extinguish the kerosene lamps. When he finally came to rest by your side, you couldn’t help noticing the grave expression and pain in his crimson eyes. “This is going to be hard for you to hear, and it sure as fuck is hard for me to say…so please don’t interrupt me until I’m done explaining” he begs, hands gripping your’s tightly. You nod and he swallows thickly, pressing a kiss to your forehead and holding your body close to his so gently it’s as if he thinks you might break.

“A child being conceived between a human and vampire is incredibly rare…It’s also extremely dangerous, if the child isn’t given the required amount of sustenance than it will begin to feed on the life source of its mother…Which can be depleted in a matter of days, I figured that out when you began getting pale and could barely get out of bed so that’s not the issue we’re currently facing” Katsuki pauses, his hold tightened around you as he forces himself to get through this, “I had Deku researching this topic and it took him over a month to track down anything, what he found wasn’t exactly great…”. Another pause, he remained quiet for so long you turned your head to look up at his face, what you saw was surprising but before you could mention it he started speaking shakily, despite the tremors and tears leaking down his face. “The birth of our child will kill you, and the only way to save you would be for you to become like me…Either way you won’t be a normal human again, I-I’m so sorry y/n, for not just coming in and ruining your life, but now it’s my fault it’s going to be ending now too, and I-“ you silence him with a kiss, wrapping your arms around him and holding him tightly. “I dont care about that, I care about you and the new life we’ve miraculously created, I want us three to be a family, I want to spend forever by your side Katsuki” You begin to cry too but not from the thought of losing your life, “Please don’t let me miss out on our child’s life because you think it’s wrong to change me, to me that change doesn’t warrant death, it’s the promise of a new and happy life “.

He tried to argue with you, tried to get you to tell him how awful and selfish he’s been, but you wouldn’t. By the time the two of you lay together in bed that night everything was calm, you’d both decided that your baby would grow up with both parents to help nurture and guide it. “Katsuki?” “Yes Princess?” “Um..is there a chance that I could become pregnant again after our first baby is born?” You avert your eyes from his, nervous as to how he will feel about you possibly hinting at carrying more half vampire babies. “There will always be a possibility for the rest of your undead life…. But you don’t sound too upset about it” Katsuki replied, smirking as he takes the chance to give you a hard time “Do you want more little leeches running around? Or you just want me to breed you hm? Is that it?”. When you don’t respond he chuckles, “Good night my love”.

With the birth of your child a mere week away the village women had gathered at your home to throw you a baby shower. Your husband was busier than ever since he was going to take a month off from working all his various odd jobs, and fortunately everyone in the surrounding area had made the most of this. So money wasn’t going to be a worry as the two of you adjusted to life with a newborn. The final job had been raising Ezikel’s new barn and it was well after dark by the time the soon to be father was heading home. Bakugou’s head was filled with thoughts of you and his child, he was happy and actually smiling as he walked.

Then all of the sudden, he wasn’t.

The vampire’s hand clawed at his chest as this sudden burst of searing pain began in his long still heart. It was so bad he nearly collapsed, and it didn’t stop, it only intensified. Something had to of happened to you or the baby and upon realizing that, Katsuki’s running at an inhuman pace through the forest.

Please let them be okay, just hold on until I get there!

The door of the house was wide open and the sign of a struggle was evident. Distressed cries coming from the bedroom alerted him to where you are. He was in the bedroom doorway in an instant and white got fury burned him from the inside out at what he saw.

With a rage and strength unimaginable by a mere mortal, the furious vampire ripped the preacher’s son away from you and threw him from the room. Dazed by the force he hit the ground with, Mineta is slow to sit up and attempt to blink the world back into focus. Only for a snarl that would befit a beast from the depths of hell to bring the man back to earth. Grabbing the crucifix around his neck the purple haired rat began to scoot himself backwards. “Stay away from me you demon! Unclean beast!”. Attempting to flee from the advancing blonde monster, whose eyes glowed like the flames of hellfire itself. Without a word Bakugou lunges forward, Mineta shrieks as he throws his body to the side, knocking over a table that held a kerosene lamp atop it.

Katsuki grabs ahold of his prey, instantly crushing the terrified man’s windpipe. He keeps gripping the mortals throat until his face matches his hair and his eyes shut. “Don’t worry, you’re just going to take a little nap, and once you are awake I’m going to drag out your death and torture you all night you disgusting piece of shit” the blonde sneers as he scowls down at the unconscious Mineta.

“K-Ka-Katsuki!”

The terrified shout from his wife snaps Bakugou from his predatory state of mind. That’s when he realizes that half of their home has been set alight, the fire was spreading, it’s flames growing rapidly in height. In an instant he was back at your side, carefully picking you up, making sure to wrap your blanket around you as the two of you fled outside. Now a safe distance away from the flames, but the sight of your Home burning still in your shared line of sight. “Baby, I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you, as soon as I sensed you were in trouble I came…I can’t believe this happened, are you-“ A familiar scent reaches his nose, and the feel of wet fabric beneath his shaking palms has crimson eyes growing wide in terror. Peeling the blanket back, his worst nightmares were brought to life. Your clothes were soaked with blood, and the slice in the material showed the deep stab in your stomach. “Kat…Suki I don’t have much time” “Y/N! No don’t say that! Dammit why didn’t you say anything!” Katsuki shouts, but not out of anger it’s pure despair that sounds beneath his normally harsh baritone. “I cant feel…can’t feel our baby anymore…” a choked sob racks your entire body “It’s gone, before they even had a chance to be…Listen to me please Katsuki, my greatest and only love”. Your shaking hands grip each of his cheeks as you struggle to keep your eyes open, “Im sorry to have to leave you alone again…but please don’t give up on me, I’ll be reborn one day, and I don’t know how long it will take, who I will be, or where on earth I will reside, but please look for me, find me again, even if I resist you at first, make sure we’ll never have to suffer like this again, make sure that we’ll truly be together forever next time, promise me?”.

“I promise”

With the last of your strength you force your head up and kiss the only entity in this world that you vow to ever love. You’re both crying once your grip on him goes slack, “I love you Katsuki, please remember what you promised me, don’t give up-“. The blood from your hands left smudges on his cheeks, but the trails of blood pouring down his face come from his tears. “Y/N?” He croaked, you didnt finish speaking, your eyes remained shut. “Y/N?!” The roof of your home caves in as the fire enveloped the entirety of the structure. In the midst of the chaos a figure appears, emerald eyes widen in a panic as they began to take in their surroundings. Before Izuku can call out for either of you the most heartbreaking wail assaults his ear drums. Whirling around the sight that greets the alchemists has hot coals of dread piling in his gut, “K-Kaachan!”.

His best friend was hunched over someone, clutching their face and it seemed like he was trying to wake them. “Let me see her! I can help, I brought my things with me!” Izuku exclaimed as he rushed over and kneeled beside the two of you. “She’s gone, They both are…There is nothing to be done, my love and my child are dead…” the blonde immortal stuttered, leaving his friend shocked. “How could this have happened?! What-“ before he can ask any more questions, Katsuki snarls with a vitriol that not even Deku has bore witness to “That fucking preachers son! He’s lucky he burned in the fire, I would have flayed him alive!”. Placing you on the ground with the utmost care, the grieving immortal lifts his head to the darkened sky and screams; “FUCK! FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!”. His hands tangle and tug at his blonde locks, he didn’t care how deranged he might look in this moment. There was a hollowed feeling inside of his chest, the searing pain only worsening in both his heart and head.

Izuku could only watch Katsuki’s tirade in silence, he patted your hand gently as tears brimmed behind his eyes. You were a kind, loving, woman that had her whole life ahead of her…Only to have it stolen by a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Hearing the vampire’s broken sobs and screams as he mourns the love of his life, the alchemist can no longer ignore the revelations that will stick with him for the remainder of his immortal life. So rather than banishing the thoughts, he lets them echo freely, the barely there breeze carrying the words off into the night:

The true monsters of this world are those that walk undetected among us; With evil souls hidden behind smiles, deranged thoughts drowned out by laughter, bloodied hands appearing spotless as they reach out to those around them. Their next victim may be innocent, perhaps a bit too trusting, or just unwise to the stalking devil waiting for the right moment to strike.

The townsfolk will forever remain clueless of the tragic events that transpired on that fateful night. Regardless; They all mourned the loss of the little family that never came to be complete, and though the three of them were lost, the fond memories, and relationships each of them had built with the two young lovers remained alive within the living’s hearts and minds. Only to finally be laid to rest when the last of those who knew them personally, had died.

A/N: I’m not going to lie, I’m proud of myself for this one! Heart broken, but proud. One more chapter to go, and for anyone wanting revenge, I promise that it will be served up nice 😊

[jades-typurriter]

Wife Swap

This was a bit of a chain of inspiration; me and Bowsiosaurus, who have crushes Vanilla and Toriel respectively, joked about switching girlfriends, and then vee drew this rather out of the blue to follow up on it. Vee THEN wanted to pay me to write a story to go with it, but I was feeling motivated anyway after seeing how this came out, so I asked ver to help me design Posie instead. Anyway, this is RIDICULOUSLY self-indulgent. Please enjoy the boundary between realities passing over the two of us at a party!

Jade and Bowsie stood in the living room of a mutual friend, holding plastic cups of fruit punch and catching up about their new relationships. It was a casual affair: a few friends who all happened to be in town at the same time, some movies, bags of popato chisps—chips? no, no, chisps, it was hard to tell for a second—lining the countertop along the side of the room.

“We met when she moved into the apartment next to mine,” the serpent explained as Jade stretched, letting out an appropriately catlike yawn. “A lot of the time we were getting to know each other was me making excuses to help her with things, if I’m being honest.”

“Well, hey! You don’t have to be a man to get to a girl’s heart by being gentlemanly.”

“She does like to call me that…”

“Tori’s little helper, huh?” she teased.

“G-grawawawa!!”

“Heehehehehee! Okay, okay. What sort of stuff does a lady like Toriel even need help with? She seems pretty capable.”

“Well, um! I really like helping her in the kitchen. I’ve learned a lot about baking from her! She also does a lot of community service type things. Did you know she used to be a teacher?”

“Oh? For what grades?”

“Little, little kids, uh, kindergarten and stuff.”

“Oh, wrow,” Jade mrowed, “that’s a fun coincidence! Vanilla has a daughter right about that age.”

“You and moms, huh.”

“Oh, shush,” she snickered.

“It’s true!”

“It is!! It is.”

“So, has dating someone with a kid been complicated?”

“Oh, not at all! Cream and I get along really well, actually. I sit down with her and, like, have tea parties with her little chao. She’s such a sweetheart. She made some cookies for me last week!”

“Uwa!! Well, if you’re getting along well with her, that must be a good sign for Vanilla.”

“I’d like to think so, yeah! If the family likes you, you’re so in.”

“Mhm, mhm.”

There was a lull in the conversation for a few moments. Bowsie looked absentmindedly over ver shoulder at someone messing around at the snacks table. It looked like they were trying to pick something up with a fork instead of just grabbing it with their hand, which was odd—it was all finger food! Or, wait, did the host spring for a chocolate fountain? Had that been there the whole time?? Jade took a sip of her punch, and Bowsie turned back around when she leaned in conspiratorially:

“Alright, so, apart from the obvious—what do you like about her?”

“Grawa??”

“Like!! Any little habits, cute things you’ve noticed. I know she’s an older woman and I know she’s twice your size, like, believe me. I’m shaking your flipper about it. But like other than that.”

“Um… okay, h-her, her ears are really nice…”

“I suppose I’m obligated to shake paws with you on that too.”

“Heehee, yeah, I guess so!”

“So, do we just both have a thing for big floppy ears and we didn’t know it?”

“No, no, it’s more like! Well, her fur is soft all over, but it’s really nice to just touch her ears, y’know?”

“Ohhhhh, yeah yeah yeah. Petting girls is just like a blessed experience.”

“Yeah… It’s like…”

As vee continued the thought, something began to change in the back of ver mind. Literally. Whatever was going on crept over the room from behind them, continuing from the snack table. Ver long, fishy tail began to shorten, fluff sprouting along its length as it seemed to roll itself up like a snowball—and like a snowball it sat, puffy and cute, at the small of ver back. The fins on ver head lost their perkiness, flopping down the sides of ver face, which was also pulling back into itself, snout disappearing in favor of a pink, Y-shaped nose.

The fins lengthened, and more fur began to grow in place of the scales there; soon enough, they stretched all the way down to ver butt, nicely framing the new tail. The tie around ver neck stretched in odd ways: the ribbons at the sides reached around ver neck, pinching itself into the links of a necklace, for which the knot of the tie became a big, bejeweled pendant. From ver tummy sprouted something a lot like the fur cropping up elsewhere, but much tidier—a dress, appearing seemingly from nowhere, sporting cuts at the hips and a hem in the front that matched ver (previous) underbelly pattern. Between the neckline and the pendant was, suddenly, some notable cleavage, and a feather boa cascaded over ver shoulders, seemingly from nowhere.

“She’s just such a cute little thing,” Vanilla continued, swirling the red wine she now held in her paw. “She really thrives on affection! Rubbing her ears is one of the easier ways to do it… she can’t get enough of laying her head in my lap and letting me scratch right between them.”

As the serpent spoke, Jade distantly realized that it was getting harder and harder to tell what vee was saying. It was getting harder and harder to see ver. Maybe the punch had more alcohol in it than she'd realized? She struggled to listen more closely; her ears burned, as if in embarrassment, though she still couldn’t make out any specific words. She felt like she should be flustered by what her friend was saying, but she wasn’t sure why… Slowly, the sensation came into sharper focus, drifting away from feeling exposed and closer toward a sense of scandal, like she was more shocked that this was the subject of public conversation than the subject matter itself. Nervously, she attempted to change the subject:

“Yeah, yeah, totally!” She began, taking the tried-and-true “smile and nod” approach for when you can’t hear someone in a crowd. “So, you were saying earlier about how you help Toriel around the house, right? Do you ever have to help her deal with computer stuff?”

“Oh, dear, you know I’m no good with computers.”

“Well, you know you can ask Annie for help any time you need!” Jade continued, seemingly unable to reconcile the sudden difference in tone. “She’s taught Vanilla a few things before. That’s one thing that’s sorta weird about the relationship, is just, the total difference in skills 'cause of how far apart we are in terms of age…”

She was interrupted by the lengthening of her own snout. The changes approached her from the front—she had been facing the opposite way as Bowsie, after all. Her kitty nose flattened, vanishing beneath the fur of her face and becoming two simple slits; her canine teeth became more pronounced, sticking out from under her upper lip. Her fur began to turn white, spreading from her nose over her face and down along her neck, and the hair that framed either side of her face became less and less fluffy, more and more orderly, until it was two solid masses of fluff: floppy, lop-goat ears that now grazed her shoulders.

Her loose top, once propped up by a single shoulder and a chest full of fluff, became a sleeveless gown, held in place by a chest full of… well, chest. A very full chest, as a matter of fact. Her hips widened, and she grew a head or two taller—she would have towered over Bowsie like this, but Vanilla was actually a fairly tall woman. Her paws grew to match the scale of the rest of her body, and the fluff around her neck receded to reveal a luxurious string of pearls. At her hip, Anodyne—hitching a ride in the phone in her pocket—slowly morphed from silicone transistors and diodes to brass gears and springs, taking the shape of her beloved heart-shaped locket.

Toriel and Vanilla stood in a reputed ballroom, sipping from crystal wine glasses and gossiping about their adorable new partners. It was a rather big-name event: Mobians and monsters who had made reservations months in advance, live music, hors d'oeuvres lining the pristine tablecloths of the refreshments along the side of the room.

“Sorry,” Toriel said, blinking hard over her bifocals, eyes refocusing on her gal pal at the end of her snout. “Where was I a moment ago?”

“You were talking about the age difference between you and Bowties, Tori,” Vanilla chirped.

“Oh! Yes, that is right,” she said, the conspiratorial smile returning to her face. “Now, I am only saying this because you were talking about pressing your partner’s buttons—how naughty, by the way! One of the cutest things about Bowsie, though, is the way that he falls all over himself at the slightest advance.”

“Oooh,” the rabbit tittered, “Not just younger, but less experienced?”

“That is understating it!”

“How flattering, though!”

“Well, sometimes I wish it were less of a momentous occasion when I change my clothes. It can be frustrating when your partner needs to stop and collect himself when you wish you could simply get into things. But, yes, I suppose all the attention is nice… It makes me feel pretty to be able to knock someone flat like that again!”

“Oh, hush, Tori. You look as good as ever! You haven’t aged a day as long as I’ve known you.”

“And neither has our taste in partners, hmm?”

“Goodness!!”

“It is true!”

“It is!” Vanilla giggled. “It is.”

Thank you for reading! If you'd like to see more of my writing, feel free to take a look here and here.

[charmedreincarnation]

My experience with my waiting room 🌌🌌

What is a waiting room

Firstly, A waiting room is simpily just another reality within realities where individuals can transition between two different states of being. There are many variations of waiting rooms, but they all serve the same purpose – to bridge the gap between different realities. Personally for me as a permeant shifter, I will eventually make my current waiting room my new point of origin. That just basically means instead of going to heaven or coming back here after “death” or whatever I just go to my waiting room when I’m done with lives. But you can use it however you want, that’s just how I use mine. Or at least I will in the future. A lot of people use it to rest, learn, take mental breaks from various realities and etc :)! You can cater it to you however you like just as you would any other reality because that’s literally what it is.

My first shift to my waiting room

My first ever shift which I had no intentions of going to, was a waiting room of sort. I remember it was winter and I was balls deep into my seasonal depression and I was having a horrible time at work. I literally just wanted to die and I remember using a meditation to calm my crying down, and after a while I forgot about my emotions. I just asked the universe to show me anything atp to prove to me I’m not wasting my time with shifting and it does get better. After a while instead of hearing SpongeBob in the background I heard waves instead. I don’t know where the hell I was but it wasn’t my house anymore. I woke up at a beach, and I immediately knew it wasn’t a dream because I felt the warm sand on my body and when I got into the water, I felt the splash of my feet and saw my reflection clearly. Honestly I was experiencing vivid tranquility so I didn’t really care where I was. I just wasn’t sad or tired anymore. I ended up falling asleep on the beach for what felt like I couple of hours but before I did I just hoped I didn’t have to go to work the next day. Anyways I woke up back in this reality and well work got cancelled because of the weather even though it was not in the forecast. I don’t know if it was a random waiting room reality, or a wish void state of sort, but that was my first real out of body experience.

Anyways that’s not my real waiting room…

I became friends (online)with a sound engineer who got into shifting and wanted to use me as a test subject for a fool proof shifting subliminal using science and experiments. Well it obviously worked and I shifted to a real waiting room with intention! It was my first actual shift that I intended, and I was super happy. I spent a whole day there basically just exploring all my options. Switching the aesthetics of my waiting room like a phone case or something lol. I added various amenities, experimented spawning in people and various animals etc etc. after I came back I still had no idea what I wanted my waiting room to look like but I made this a problem for later tbh. It was a very enriching experience regardless :)

Here are the links to the subs btw sub 1, sub 2. you can also explore all the other subliminals he created, as he has a bunch !

after sometime I ended up meeting some super dope people who are all probably my twin flames and we have a group waiting room now. This makes more sense because it wasn’t the waiting room was that was the problem, I just don’t want to be alone and I love people! Plus I will spend a while in my wr and use it for essentially eternity so I’m glad I figured out my problem and filled it with awesome fulfilling people :)!

Anyways I know this wasn’t very long, vivid, or specific but I don’t spend much time in wrs as of now ..and very much use this reality as my break between realities. But if you have any more specific questions my asks are ofc open 💗