#I have so many thoughts but write so little about it. such a tragedy

[tev-the-random]

Ok Tumblr just REFUSES to let me answer this one, for some godforsaken reason. We'll have to make do with a screenshot, it seems.

And oh

OH, MY FRIEND

He does. He very much does.

In what I consider one of my personal favourite moments in this AU, Jimmy, at first, reveals himself to Fwhip and Fwhip alone.

Upon integrating himself into the empires as "Terrence", Jimmy starts getting closer to those he seeks to harm the most. And while Joel is arguably the one who started his whole predicament, Fwhip was a constant figure in Jimmy's mind during his years of travel. It is something to be hurt by someone you never really got along with, but to be hurt by the one person you used to trust the most is something else entirely.

So yeah. He approaches Fwhip with fake friendliness and a supposed interest for all the right things a goblin ought to like, and Fwhip is very glad to have him visit Gobland for the day. That is, until Jimmy spots the sheriff's home away from home, his old house in Gobland. He'd forgotten it existed, and to be honest, he thought it would have been destroyed or repurposed by now.

He can't help it.

Jimmy goes inside to find that, apart from being very dusty, nothing has changed about the house. His bed is still there, the carpet, Norman's bed, even the chest half-filled with stuff he hardly remembers leaving here. There's a very old picture still hanging on the wall — him and Fwhip in the early days of Tumble Town, before any of the pranks disturbed its view.

Let's just say Jimmy is glad he left his lantern back at its hideout. Otherwise, his heart probably wouldn't be able to take this.

Fwhip says this is just an old abandoned house that belonged to no one in particular, it has probably been standing there since before his time, really. Terrence points out the picture, and after a long moment of silence, Fwhip admits that he built the place for "an old friend." But it doesn't matter anymore. That friend is long gone.

When it's time to leave, Terrence makes a peculiar comment.

He tells Fwhip how much he appreciated the attention the Goblin King gave him during this visit, despite how busy he probably is. He was always good at first impressions, wasn't he? He only loses points for that old house; not because it was dirty, no, but because he had the gal to pretend he mourned Jimmy at all.

"Don't worry, you're still my second favourite deputy. For now."

He hands Fwhip an old book he took from the house. The Law.

Whatever spell made Terrence so unrecognisable breaks, and all the pieces click into place at once. Fwhip can't unsee it now. Jimmy, older and scarred and human, but so undoubtedly Jimmy.

Now that's... a lot. However long Fwhip spends processing what is both a horrifying and wonderful discovery, it's enough for "Terrence" to go back to Tumble Town, where he feigns utter ignorance. Nobody knows any better, and nobody believes Fwhip when he tells them. Jimmy finds it extremely funny.

As for the Red Light Bandit... well, he makes sure that anyone who learns of his identity is dealt with accordingly. It only makes sense that his light is the last one they see.

[crossbackpoke-check]

it’s all the rest of what i want with you

connor dewar/brandon duhaime :: 8k

Summary:

“Brandon,” Connor says with a sigh. “There’s no baby in there.”

“Not yet,” Brandon says. Connor feels his stomach twist, almost like what he would imagine a baby kicking to feel like.

in these trying times of dewvorce, may i offer you 8k of pwp inspired by @stillfertile’s wonderful art which i had. several breakdowns about 🫶 anyway please enjoy!!!

[larkiethings]

the regency period is another one of these! I know this is more directly because of Jane Austen and her impact on English literature, but it’s another example of a 40 year period that we obsess over way more than the times before or after

My theory as to why times like this loom larger in popular consciousness is BECAUSE they were so short, and made a big cultural impact but never really got to be normalized for more than a generation. Like…if I grew up on my parents talking about how they were terrified of pirates (or honestly even aware of pirates) when they were traveling, I’d spend a lot of time thinking about oh wow what must that have been like? Not common enough to become quotidian, but with a big enough impact on people (scary) that they’ll still talk about it years later.

There are certain very specific, unsustainable periods of history.

The Golden Age of Piracy lasted from the 1650s to the 1730s, and was really three different waves of piracy that all had their own specific causes and characters. My personal favorite has always been the post-Spanish Succession period, when a bunch of sailors and privateers were left unemployed and turned en masse to piracy since those were the skills they'd picked up during the war. This supply of pirates was obviously non-renewable.

The Wild West lasted between 1865 and 1895, depending on who you ask, not even a full human lifetime. It's a very narrow band of time, and of course it wasn't sustainable, there was only so much land to colonize.

There are lots of these times of change, conquest, colonization, and war, particularly in the last three hundred years. I always think they're interesting, mostly in how quickly the course of history moves on to some other relatively more steady state.

There's a thing that speculative fiction does where it stretches specific periods out to extremes, most notably with Medieval Stasis, but I think it's far funnier when applied to these tiny slices of history that have ballooned in the public consciousness. Either it takes heroic feats of worldbuilding to make it make sense, or everyone is just sort of okay with the idea of a Golden Age of Piracy that's implied to have lasted for a millennia.

[inkskinned]

even 2 years ago people still said autism with a whisper. it was also how people sometimes whisper lesbian, like they're afraid of uttering a slur. autistic was either an insult or it was something terrible, a horrible burden only select people endure. "select people" were usually 9 year old boys and skinny white men.

they are not hispanic young adults with a dog and a life and friends. i can make (sustained, calculated, painful) eye contact. with certain people, i don't even have to count how many seconds i am holding their vision - i can just look at them. i can wear clothes that bother me, i will just have a worse day than usual. i might cry about any changes to my schedule - but change is scary! this is normal!

when i was 16 it was OCD. i mean that was the thing everyone said. i totally have ocd. they would arrange 6 colors of gel pen in rainbow order (no worry for indigo feeling left out) and they'd be "so ocd" about it.

if you struggle with intrusive thoughts, be careful at this next paragraph, but. at 16 i developed a compulsion that involved self-harm. my ocd was convinced i was simply forgetting that i'd hurt someone terribly - a thought that persisted for no clear or delineated reason.

at some point i will probably write about how the idea of "morally pure thoughts" was hell for me and others with ocd, but this was the odd dichotomy for many of us: they liked our "aesthetic", but were genuinely repulsed by our lived experience. "intrusive thoughts" now means "cutting your hair in the sink" instead of talking yourself down from believing horrible things. "so ocd" is a label without any true understanding.

it's something i've talked about before - in multiplicity - but i firmly believe in the veracity and necessity of self-diagnosis. i think it saves lives and it saves tragedies from occurring. as someone raised in a house that wasn't safe, self-diagnosis was, for many years, the only viable option. 15 and honestly googling: am i depressed or are there demons affecting my behavior.

but it is not genuine self-diagnosis anymore, most of the time. it is a strange, blanched version of that whispered word autism. now certain traits are constantly seen as "autistic" - any passing intense interest. any flubbed social interaction. people say it while laughing - a touch of the 'tism.

and i like the acceptance! i do. i like that people are talking about it. i like that if i self-identify, more people speak up and say me too, bitch. but there is something-else quietly happening, the way it happened to OCD. the quirky, "fun" parts have been washed and sanitized and removed of all suffering. now it is just something that makes you "a little bit silly."

it took me 27 years on this planet before i learned to make friends. something about me just seems incredibly odd, i guess, some kind of radiation monitoring. someone once (in a way that was almost friendly) told me i am doing the right things, but in a way that's off-putting. i have scoured myself raw attempting to be charming.

someone on tiktok does a deep dive into their particular passion. the top comment says "what kind of autism is this lol". like we are a breed of animal. like it has no influence on our experience. like our life is a fresh breeze, an open meadow.

more often for me, life was a drowning.

[jensthwa]

love's an uncharted path ★ masterlist.

★ prev called: show & tell universe ★

An exploration of the eight distinct stories of friendship, love, and self-discovery that intertwine as each character faces the trials of entering adulthood and falling in and out of love.

warnings: smut, drinking and drugs, adult language and female presenting oc's (with breasts and vaginas), angst, tears and attempted comedy throughout all stories.

note: this masterlist is organized so that stories are in chronological order, although there's some context within them that range from their childhood, teen years and college years. in these stories, the guys are in their last years of college/entering their first job and tasting a bit of adulthood as they navigate through the motions and find love along the way.

MINGI'S STORY: SHOW AND TELL (bf2l).

summary: you have known mingi since you both were fourteen. you’ve been by his side through thick and thin and you would do anything for him, really, considering he’s your other half. when he has an unfortunate bed experience and asks for your help and you say yes, he starts considering that, maybe, you’re just the best friend a guy like him can have.

main story: part one (8k) & part two (11k).

extras: a very show & tell christmas (7k), tba.

WOOYOUNG'S PRELUDE: A CLOWN'S REMEDY TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART (halloween special, hookup2??).

summary: a drunk and kind of akward conversation inside of a closet is the start of Wooyoung's journey into healing his broken heart. only he doesn't really know the name of the scarlet witch that helped mend a heart that wasn't supposed to break anymore, even if she starts plaguing his thoughts and dreams after that.

posted here (11.9k).

SAN'S STORY: WE CAN'T BE FRIENDS (f2s2l).

summary: san is your first love. he broke your heart and played with your feelings without even kissing you back when you two were in highschool. now, many years later, you do your best to avoid crossing paths with him because there's just no way you could ever hate him, but there's also no way you two can be friends again. but his best friend is also one of your best friends, so there's only so much you can do to avoid san when he arranges a dinner you're forced to go to.

main story: one shot (20k).

extras: tba.

SEONGHWA'S STORY: I WAS MADE FOR LOVIN' YOU (s2l, love at first sight).

summary: in an attempt to grasp at his youth, seonghwa buys a motorcycle despite not knowing the first thing about them. when it inevitably breaks down, he has no other option that to ride it to a mechanic shop and, after following a sweet hum, he’s faced with the life-changing (and predictable) fact that, maybe, what he needed after all was not a motorcycle. maybe, just maybe, what he needed was you.

main story: one shot (20k).

extras: tba.

YUNHO'S STORY: MOUNTEBANK CHEM (e2f2l, arranged pr relationship).

summary: the first time you met yunho, you knew he was going to be part of the biggest tragedy of your life: the loss of your freedom, of your free will. you didn't know why back then but what you did figure out is that you and jeong yunho were going to, eventually and very publicly, date each other at some point. is that reason enough to hate his guts? well, of course! now, when the time comes to fulfill the prophecy, how the hell are you going to pull it off? and, most importantly, what do you need to do to not fall in love with him in the process?

main story: part one (9.7k), part two (14.2k), part three (16.5k), part four (24.1k), epilogue (7.08k).

extras: tba.

YEOSANG'S STORY: THE RHYTHM OF OUR HEARTS (s2f2l, slow burn, two part). CURRENTLY WRITING!

summary: Yeosang, with his camcorder and his looks from afar, ignites your curiosity in a way that makes you act a little dumb and against your friend’s judgments. When you finally get tired of him not approaching you, you decide that the night is young and life’s too short to not find an answer to your questions. On a dirty rooftop, your newfound friendship with him might just be the most surprising outcome of the whole ordeal. Is it enough to make you stay, though?

main story: part one (17.5k), part two (tba).

extras: tba.

WHAT'S NEXT?

HONJOONG'S STORY: WIP.

JONGHO'S STORY: WIP.

WOOYOUNG'S STORY: WIP (extra: woo's prelude / posted!).

[kingkaisen]

彡 𝐒𝐄𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐒𝐎𝐎𝐍 — 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮 𝐆.

♡ — 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: a nurse finds a man visiting you, her unidentified coma patient. It’s your husband, Satoru Gojo.

♡ — 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓: 18+ only. heavy angst, mentions of death, injury, hospitalization & thoughts of suicide. brief smut mention.

♡ — 𝐀/𝐍: I was bored last night, eating pasta, and decided to write this because why not (: dividers by @/firefly-graphics!

The young nurse was around thirty exhausting minutes into her twelve-hour night shift when a figure sitting beside her coma patient caught her attention.

She glanced up from her medical binder and peered through the interior window of your hospital room, her head tilting questioningly at the sight of the white-haired man she hadn’t recognized.

“Is a stranger bothering my patient? Should I call for security? How did he get into her room without anyone noticing in the first place?”

Those were the questions that circulated throughout her mind when she swung your door open.

With a frown, the young woman asked, “Excuse me, can I help you, sir?”

The man didn’t answer — his soft sniffles filled the silence.

Softly, he stroked your cheek, his fingertips gracing the straps that secured the intubation tube down your throat; the tube that was breathing for you.

His other hand was draped across the pages of an open book lying beside your leg. A few wet splats from fallen tears soaked the inked paper.

“Was he reading to her?” The nurse thought, clenching the door handle.

“Sir?” She called out yet again. “Are you able to help us identify this patient? She’s a Jane Doe. Any information would be-“

“She’s my wife.”

The nurse’s eyes widened, and those wide eyes darted down to the wedding ring on the man’s finger.

“O-Oh, okay.”

“Her name’s Y/N,” the miserable man looked over at the nurse for the first time since she stepped into your room. “I was just reading her the rest of her book. She wasn’t finished with it, and I don’t know if she’ll . . .”

The man’s body trembled a bit. A noise escaped him, seemingly a combination of a sob, hiccup, and a sigh — it was the sound of heartbreak, a sound that drowned out the repetitive, dire beeping from the machines attached to the countless amount of tubes going in and out of your wounded body.

“But, um, her name’s F/N Gojo. She’s my wife. She’s my . . .” One hand gripped yours, while the other ran across his teary, bloodshot eyes. “Has anyone been talking to her? She gets lonely easily, and I don’t think she has enough blankets, she could be cold.”

“Yes, I’ve been talking to her, sir. Everyday.” The nurse smiled sadly. She had gotten used to witnessing tragedy. It was as normal to her as brushing her teeth in the morning. Even so, see the man’s guilt-ridden face prickled at her heart. “Unfortunately, too many blankets could make it more difficult to treat her if something goes wrong. They could get in our way if we need to get to her quickly during an emergency, but, um, maybe an extra one wouldn’t hurt. Um . . . I have quite a bit of paperwork for you to fill out, I’ll be right back. Can I bring you anything? A cup of coffee? Tea?”

The man wiped a tear away from his reddened waterline, though it was pointless, as his pale cheeks were wet enough already. He slumped back in his chair, ran a trembling hand through his messy head of white hair, and returned his gaze to you, away from the rambling nurse.

“I don’t deserve a damn thing,” he mumbled. “This is my fault. I was on a work trip. If I was at home, we would have had dinner together. In the kitchen. I would’ve cooked. But I wasn’t home, so she went to get her own food. She was turning into a drive-thru, right? When another car slammed into hers, right?”

The nurse gave a little nod.

“She was in a coma for two days and I had no idea. I wasn’t here. It’s all my fault. I left her alone,” Satoru bit the inside of his cheek, thinking about the obstacles he had to face just to be by your side right now.

He was on his way home around 24 hours after you stopped responding to his messages and calls. Screw his work trip; you were his only priority. During that time, he had to deal with shitty cell service and horrific weather delaying flights for hours to days. Even now, his days-old attire was covered in rain droplets.

“I’ll be right back, Mr. Gojo. And I’ll go fetch her doctor for you. He can tell you more about your wife’s condition.”

The man didn’t bother speaking or nodding. If it was up to him, he wouldn’t have bothered with breathing, either.

Why should he? You couldn’t breathe. You had machines doing it for you. And he blamed himself. He always would.

He gently stroked the skin of your hand.

“Baby?” Satoru said softly once the nurse left your room. “I’m gonna keep reading. I know how much you wanna get to the ending. But I just wanted to say that I wish this happened to me instead. It should’ve been me, not you.”

He wanted to speak more, but grief had formed a lump in his throat that made it too difficult to vocalize how much he needed you. Tragedy had taken his voice away from him.

Those glistening eyes of his glanced up at your bandaged face, and he couldn’t help but picture it; you, his sweet wife, driving to a local restaurant, perhaps while listening to your favorite songs on the radio. All it took was one incorrect turn from another driver. One wrong turn flipped your car.

One wrong turn resulted in devastation.

One wrong turn.

Next, your beloved husband pictured the happy memories shared between you both. Eating ice cream on the couch while watching a Netflix show together. Making pancakes from scratch on Saturday mornings, turning the kitchen into a mess of batter and dirty dishes. Laughing together over the memory of Satoru asking you to marry him during your first time together, three months into your relationship. He blamed his embarrassing ramblings entirely on the sheer pleasure of getting to fuck you. It made him delirious, so he said.

And, god — he couldn’t help but think about your laugh. He loved it more than anything. Satoru was smiling sadly as he thought about you laughing over a silly kitchen mishap that nearly led to a grease fire last year when suddenly, the alarming machines surrounding you started to beep rapidly.

A staff of medical workers rushed in, and Satoru was rushed out — or, at least, they tried to force him out of your room as they reclined your bed and attempted to perform a medical miracle on your comatose body, but he wouldn’t budge.

He couldn’t.

He would never leave your side again, he made you that promise, and there he was, right by your bedside when the defeated doctors pulled away from your lifeless body.

“Time of death, twenty-thirty-two,” a man said somberly.

And Satoru didn’t break down. He didn’t cry, not yet. He hadn’t realized that his legs seemed to have a mind of their own, that his body was guiding him out of your room and down the depressing, illuminated hallways of the hospital. The only thing on his mind was the fact that the hospital accepted patients via helicopter, which meant he could gain roof access.

Satoru stepped into an empty elevator. His finger pressed a button: the highest floor.

A floor accessible only to employees with ID, or, in his case, grieving family members who stole dangling badges from distracted doctors attempting to revive you.

He hadn’t figured it all out yet. Not the logistics of it. After all, concerned medical staff with their eyes narrowed and voices brimming with concern were already trying to follow him and see what he was up to.

But Satoru knew one thing for certain: he’d see you soon.

🏷️: @sad-darksoul @priv-rose @yihona-san06 @keriaonmarz @luvvmae @underworldsheiress @notgoodforlife @thewondrousdreamer @levisfavoriteteashop @insomniacbehaivour @preciousamethyst @irisveinn @iwanttohitmyself @shoyosdoll @lil-apple-pie @prettypixigrl @sonarspace @averysmolbear @starstoru @starlightanyaaa @dolphin1135 @ioveartfilm @filhadaanarquia @blackdxggr @jaegergirl @gunslxtz

[kxsagi]

Hellooooo so erm I’ve been following u and I have to say I love ur works sm, and I was wondering that if u don’t mind, could I send in a request?

So I’d like to request a reader who loves literature and who reads the most angsty pieces of literature and many different authors. Like a scenario where how the reader acts after reading the most angstiest book in all of literature (white nights for me 😔✌🏽) and then the characters catch her crying abt it and then theyre horrified cuz they don’t know what’s going on and then reader yaps abt the book

so yeah that’s it

it’s ok if u don’t wanna do it

bye

🫶🏽

“𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭”

a/n: hi! i was able to write a little bit about it since i know a bit of the story white nights... but only the general scope of it, still hope you enjoy!

ft. itoshi rin, itoshi sae, isagi yoichi, mikage reo, nagi seishiro, bachira meguru, karasu tabito

itoshi rin

walks into the room and sees you absolutely sobbing. 

his immediate thought: someone died. 

his second thought: you’re breaking up with him. 

“what the hell happened? who do i have to kill?” 

you, sniffling: “... nastenka… she was in love with someone else… and he just let her go and was happy for her and–” 

he blinks. “who the hell is nas–” 

and suddenly you’re spiraling, explaining every detail of the story, your voice cracking as you quote the most heart-wrenching lines. you’re devastated. he is confused. 

rin: “is this a real person?” 

you: “NO THAT’S THE TRAGEDY!!!” 

he just sits there in silence. stunned. reevaluating how dangerous literature is. 

itoshi sae

walks in sipping a drink and sees you curled on the couch clutching a book like it betrayed you. 

“... you okay?” 

“no.” 

“... you hurt?” 

“not physically.” 

“... someone in the book died?” 

“no. worse.” 

he raises an eyebrow and sits down. listens to your dramatic retelling with a bored face, but he’s actually paying close attention. 

“… so he waited for her. and she just left?” 

“yes,” you cry. “AND HE WAS STILL HAPPY FOR HER.” 

he stares. nods slowly. “damn. even i wouldn’t do that.” 

actually kind of impressed by the emotional devastation. gives you a tissue and tells you he’s never letting you near russian literature again. 

isagi yoichi

he panics. so fast. sees your tears and is IMMEDIATELY on his knees beside you like “what happened? who hurt you? was it me?” 

you barely manage to whisper “... it was dostoyevsky…” 

he blinks. “who???” 

and then you launch into an emotional monologue about the book’s themes, the tragic character arcs, the lost love, the gut-wrenching ending. like you’ve fully become an english lit professor mid-breakdown. 

isagi is so overwhelmed. nodding too much. doesn’t know half the words you're using but he’s trying to comfort you like “i-i’m sure… the guy in the story… um. he’s okay now. in heaven maybe?” 

gives you hot chocolate and wraps you in a blanket. tells you to read something happier next time. like manga. specifically sports manga. 

mikage reo

thought someone harassed or assaulted you. got so scared. 

when you tell him you’re crying because a fictional man couldn’t be with his true love and just let her go… he’s SHOCKED at your loyalty to characters you’ve known for like 200 pages. 

“so like. this man just lost everything?” 

“YES.” 

“and you chose to read that?” 

he’s baffled. voluntarily choosing pain is not in his rich boy vocabulary. 

hugs you dramatically like he’s the one who lost nasenka. buys you a fancy notebook to “write your feelings.” starts researching classics so he can join your next breakdown. 

nagi seishiro 

“why are you crying?” 

you show him the book. he reads the first line and immediately goes “nope.” 

not built for literary pain. not even a little bit. 

listens to you rant while lying upside-down on the couch. looks vaguely horrified when you start passionately yelling about unrequited love. 

“why didn’t they just… text each other or something.” 

“nagi. it was 1848.” 

goes completely silent. 

“oh.” 

he lets you lie on his chest while you cry. plays soothing music in the background. he doesn’t understand it, but he respects it. kind of. 

bachira meguru

walks in while you’re sobbing and immediately gasps like he just read the ending. 

“WHAT HAPPENED WHO DIED I’M READY TO FIGHT.” 

you tell him it was a fictional man in 19th-century russia who just wanted to be loved. 

instantly invested. 

sits beside you, holding your hand, fully immersed as you retell the story. reacts to every twist like it’s a soap opera. 

“no way. she just left???” 

“AND HE WAS HAPPY FOR HER.” 

“BRO.” 

cries with you. then doodles little fanart of the characters afterward. names your tears “artistic expression.” dramatic soulmates. 

karasu tabito

sees you crying. looks around. sees no blood, no broken bones, no evidence of trauma. 

“you read something stupid again, didn’t you.” 

“it wasn’t stupid. it was tragic.” 

you start explaining it and he immediately starts judging the characters like a reality TV show host. 

“man had no self-respect. could’ve fumbled a rebound. what was he doing.” 

you get mad and defend the main character like he’s your son. karasu’s like “i’m just saying. love yourself, bro.” 

but secretly he memorizes the book title and reads it later so he can understand what made you cry that hard. will never admit he did, but starts casually quoting lines at you when you least expect it. bastard. 

© 𝐤𝐱𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐢

[cherrybomb107]

I literally wouldn’t have cared if they decided to pull a Cyberpunk Edgerunners and kill off our entire main cast save for one or two characters and let the bad guys(the establishment) win. Tragedy isn’t the problem. The problem is the way they went about it. The show had so many plot threads to tie up, there was never any time to truly reckon with all the tragedies that were occurring.

Ekko losing his tree because of Arcane poisoning would be tragic. Notice I said “would be” because that plot line is literally never addressed again. It gets brought up, and then forgotten about. Vi being hit by her girlfriend after she makes the decision to put on the uniform of her oppressors and contribute to oppressing her own people in pursuit of a little sister who she can’t accept has changed is tragic on multiple levels! That’s some compelling shit! But the show never meaningfully addresses these issues or lets Vi react to them without throwing her into a new situation where she has to fight and lose something again. All Vi has ever done her entire life is try and fail to protect her loved ones. She gets punished for trying. It’s almost like the universe itself is out to get her! But we never see Vi break down and pick herself back up. We never see her make any choices to do what’s best for her. The plot decided for her and that’s the problem!

Vi and Jinx deciding to go their separate ways after all that they’ve been through would’ve been tragic. These two sister who love each other more than anything having to break apart for who knows how long and holding onto the hope that maybe they can reunite and be sisters again is gut wrenching…or at least it WOULD be if they actually decided to separate! Vi didn’t decide to leave her sister, Jinx didn’t decide to leave Vi, the narrative forced them apart! The narrative keeps ripping them away from each other and it’s starting to feel intentional. Trying to tell the audience that the only way Vi can truly be happy and choose herself is by having her baby sister die and being forced to live with her girlfriend in a city that will be extremely discriminatory towards her is not it. I’m not saying that Vi and Jinx have to ride off into the sunset together. But I am saying that if going their separate ways really was for the best, the show wouldn’t spend so much time trying to convince us of that. It would just happen organically. Which, to me, it didn’t

Jinx losing Isha was yet another tragedy! But the show doesn’t really show Jinx grieving and then deciding to fight for what she believes in after Ekko convinces her to try. She tried to kill herself five times. FIVE TIMES!!! How on Earth did she go from that to a badass piloting an airship, dripped out with her new outfit and steeled sense of resolve? We don’t know because it happened offscreen! I understand the show had time constraints, but come on. This plot line deserved more time to shine. Sevika being on the Council is a tragedy. It’s an empty gesture for one, and majority rules for two. That means Sevika will be forced to try to barter for Zaun’s freedom while being surrounded by a bunch of classist Piltie pricks who despise her and everything she stands for. She will be talked over and talked down to. That’s not a happy ending! But the show frames it like it is! And I’m sorry but if you can’t watch interviews of the writers saying their thoughts on the show and you genuinely believe that they have the range to write Sevika being on the Council as thoughtful commentary? No comment😭😭😭

Caitlyn’s corruption arc is yet another tragedy! Both because of what happened to her AND the fact that the arc wasn’t done! Caitlyn’s arc was supposed to show how no matter how “good” and “kind” a privileged person believes them self to be, their unconscious bias and prejudice against the out group will rear its ugly head the second they experience a fraction of what the marginalized group has been experiencing for centuries. It was so easy for Caitlyn to say “I understand now. How easy it is to hate them.” “Those animals!” “I thought you were different, but you’re not. It’s her blood in your veins!” How easy it was for her to weaponize The Gray. How easy it was for her to work with Ambessa and co sign martial law despite knowing better. How easy it was for her to risk killing a child just to get to Jinx. That’s super compelling! But the problem is we never see Caitlyn wrestle with her decisions. Guilt should be eating her ALIVE and all we get is a complete 180 from her after a time skip! Then she does nothing to redeem herself! And once again, no the writers absolutely did not intend that to be commentary on how the privileged are able to get away with things the lower class would be imprisoned/killed for. If they did then Caitlyn could’ve had a confrontation with someone from Zaun, whether that be Sevika, Ekko, Jinx, Vi or someone else, where they call her out on her hypocrisy. Then we would see her wrestle with that and realize the monster that she’s become.

Unfortunately, all these tragedies are not given the proper narrative weight they deserve. Or they’re not treated as tragedies when they so clearly are! THAT’S the problem! It’s not tragedy, it’s the framing! And it’s the way y’all are so condescending whenever someone criticizes the show. Why is every single critique met with “You didn’t watch/understand the show”? Why is it always “What were you expecting?” “You’re just mad it didn’t go your way.” “You’re just a hater.” “You have no idea how hard writing a script is.” “They planned the story from the beginning, this is how it was supposed to be.” And on and on and on. It’s exhausting! Why is it so hard for y’all to understand that it is possible to understand and have love for something but still have gripes with it? It doesn’t mean I love the show any less! It just means I’d love it even more if not for these certain aspects of it. That’s it, that’s all🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️

[vodkaoomf]

The Thurston Highschool Shooting

This post is going to be particularly sentimental as a warning, so be aware.

On the morning of May 21st, 1998 Kipland Philip Kinkel drove himself to Thurston Highschool in his mother's Ford Explorer and opened fire in the cafeteria of Thurston Highschool, killing two at the school; Ben Walker and Mikael Nickolauson, and injuring twenty-five. The night before, he'd shot and killed both of his parents. He couldn't bring himself to turn the gun on himself, his auditory hallucinations getting the better of him. Kinkel was aware the next morning, that he wouldn't see the end of the day. He'd be dead, should everything go according to plan. (Which it didn't, as we know now.)

It has been exactly twenty-seven years since that day. Twenty-seven years of reflection on such an event, a lot of things have happened. 

Today should be a day of mourning, of thought. It serves as a cautionary tale, almost, what happened that day. My heart aches today, for everyone lost, injured, or otherwise affected, including Kip. I think we understand the condition he was in a lot better today, there's less of a stigma around mental health issues as severe as paranoid Schizophrenia.

He's doing a lot better now, but still, it's a terrible thing to have to be reminded of something like this yearly. How scary must it be? To know today was the day you were supposed to die, at only fifteen. Nobody would have known why you did it, they could guess, and your sister, who loves you so dearly, would have no family left. It's terrible to think about from every angle. There'd have been no answer good enough to give anybody closure on how something like this could happen.

"How could I have gotten to this point at fifteen that all these things came together—where my humanity collapsed, and I did this horrific thing to people I loved and to people I didn't know?" - Kip Kinkel

I was frankly a little bit teary-eyed writing this. I think I will be for the majority of today. Thurston is an event which I know has not only had a great impact on my life, but so many others. My heart breaks a little more today, for the tragedy it was, and the tragedy it carries on being.

If you or anybody you know is experiencing similar issues, please do not be afraid to reach out, no matter how scary your reality may be. You are not alone.

[svetamillss]

their reaction to reader having a ed and starving themselves? :<

Headcanons: their reaction to your gulttony and starvation🩵

Featuring: Cho Hyun Ju x Reader(f), Thanos (Su Bong) x Reader(f), Gang No Eul x Reader(f), Nam Gyu x Reader(f)

Summary: you have guttony because of nervous breakdowns, after which you starve, because you think you have recovered a lot.

A/N: Maybe I didn't write it very well, but I tried, I apologize in advance!

Cho Hyun Ju

The girl knew about your problem from the first day of your acquaintance, because you didn't hide anything from each other. Ju doesn't yell at you when you have nervous breakdowns and start eating a lot. She carefully saves you after that.

The girl signed you up for a psychologist and you go to him together, because you are afraid alone.

She forbids you to starve, she says that you didn't get fat after your overeating, you remained the same beautiful and sweet girl.

Ju carefully monitors your diet after the tragedy, this is not only her decision, but also advice from a psychologist.

- Baby, you don't need to starve yourself, let's cook a healthy dinner together now?

Thanos (Su Bong)

When the guy first saw your nervous breakdown, he laughed and joked that you started eating for two, when he saw that you didn't eat much, he didn't pay attention to it, he thought you just decided to go on a diet.

But when it began to repeat itself: first a nervous breakdown, then hunger, then normal life and so on in a new way, he became very worried.

Anxiety is not peculiar to him, but you are an exception for him.

When Su found out the whole problem, he didn't believe it at first, but after a few articles on the Internet, he realized everything.

The guy didn't laugh at your problem, on the contrary, he tries to help and prevent you from starving, and when breakdowns happen, he tries to be there and not let everything get worse.

- Stop doing nonsense, you haven't fat! You are still the most beautiful girl in the world!

Gang No Eul

The girl was strict with you in this regard. She swear at you if she saw you starving instead of eating normally after overeating.

She told you many times that your fasting would only worsen your health, but you didn't listen to her and continued to do it.

She doesn't trust psychologists, so she decides to deal with you herself.

You are grateful to her that she tolerates you and tries to help you.

No Eul loves you very much and will help you, she won't leave you.

- Honey, if I see you starving again, I'll swear at you again.

Nam Gyu

The guy suggested you to see a psychologist, but you strictly refused to do so, because you didn't like them, so Gyu had to do everything himself.

He didn't yell at you or swear, on the contrary, he treated you like a little child, carefully and very attentively.

When you have breakdowns, he is nearby and instead of giving you a lot of food, he hides food and replaces it with his kisses, but if he fails to do it, then he tries not to let you starve.

At your words that you are fat, he is very angry, because Gyu loves you as you are.

- Well, you're completely stupid. I love you the way you are, so get this dope out of your head and stop starving.

🩵🩵🩵

[thesandyhooktragedy]

was adam lanza a pedophile?

this is a topic of hot debate. personally i don’t believe it add or subtracts much from his case, but nevertheless people love to discuss it. so let’s discuss!

why do people think he’s a pedophile in the first place? from a young age, lanza had a fascination with violence against children. in elementary school, lanza wrote several stories featuring violence against children.

later in life, lanza would write a 35-page essay defending pedophilia as part of his college application. in this essay, lanza postulated that pedophile rights were part of the “liberation of children”, and that children should be able to make decisions as adults would. lanza also stated that he believed an “adult-child relationship” could be “beneficial for both parties”.

lanza would expand on this essay on his youtube channel, CulturalPhilistine, in an 8 part series titled “On pedophiles and children”. the transcripts for these videos can be found here

after lanza’s attack on Sandy Hook, police would find notes and basic sketches of scenes for a play called “Lovebound”, written by lanza, on his hard drive. the play would depict a relationship between a 10-year-old boy and a 30-year-old man.

many users of the forum that lanza was on, Shocked Beyond Belief, seemed to have an impression of him that included him having an attraction to children.

(full sources of picture one and three can be found here and here! these specific screenshots were found from a post by lanzagf.)

so, was he a pedophile? we have no definitive way of knowing, and there’s an equal amount of evidence suggesting that he wasn’t one. when police searched lanza’s hard drive, they found no sexual content featuring children.

it’s well known that lanza was an odd man all around, so perhaps his fascination with violence against children simply came from his “antinatalism” and general violent thoughts rather than an actual attraction to children. maybe the impression that other SBB users had of him came from his awkward personality.

the biggest question, i think, is does it matter?

an article published by the Connecticut Post puts it best—

Dr. Charles Herrick, the head of psychiatry at Danbury Hospital, said it is difficult with the information released to date to know if Lanza's interest in pedophilia had any influence on his behavior.

"The material related to his obsession with mass shootings is far more compelling about what is driving his behavior," he said.

although pedophilia could be a possible motivator of lanza’s attack on Sandy Hook, his fascination with mass shootings—something which appears to be a trend in a lot of mass shooters—is far more relevant. however, the Connecticut Post’s article offers an explanation on how lanza being a pedophile could’ve motivated him to attack Sandy Hook.

[Dr. Fred] Berlin said one could speculate that Lanza, if he had pedophilia tendencies, could have targeted the elementary school in an attempt to eliminate temptation.

"The idea is that someone who has a strong desire for something and they're forbidden to act upon it, they can be angry at the source of temptation," he said. "It's not unreasonable, given what happened. There must have been a tremendous amount of rage inside of him."

as i stated, there’s no definitive way of knowing whether or not adam lanza was a pedophile. either way, i don’t believe it adds or subtracts much from his case, as it does little to change much about his moral character. i don’t believe there’s any point in arguing about something that only serves to make a tragedy more disturbing.

what do you think? was adam lanza a pedophile or not?

[needfantasticstories]

“Many places I have been

Many sorrows I have seen

But I don't regret

Nor will I forget

All who took that road with me”

-The Last Goodbye by Billy Boyd

This is an Adjuration by @not-freyja, after 86 chapters, 300k words, and 10 months of joy, laughter, tears, heartbreak and love, has finally reached its end. 

Adjuration is a tragedy that is nothing short of an act of love. That much is clear in the passion and dedication put towards the story, the characters, and the message Freyja is trying to convey. This fic will teach you about love. About death. About the inevitability of existence and why despite knowing it will all come to an end, there is still meaning in trying and hoping and loving each other. In loving yourself. You will laugh, you will cry, you will hope and you will despair as you read this story, but you will not be able to put it down.

It’s hard to say goodbye to something that has been so important to and loved by so many people. So we won’t. Instead, we will say thank you for this incredible journey and the community this fic has built. For the friendships that have been made and the endless inspiration you have given us. Thank you for wanting to tell a story, and for letting us join you around the campfire to listen.

Thank you.

(If you like Linked Universe and haven’t yet read Adjuration, see below for spoiler free reviews of this fic and artist credits.)

This is an Adjuration is the kind of story you fall in love with, the kind of story you think keep thinking about long after you put it down. The kind you keep finding hidden details in after you think you’ve got it figured out. 

The characters are distinct and people with their own voices, motivations, relationships and histories. You’ll have your favourites but love them all. They influence how you’ll see the characters in everything else. 

It’s full of moments where everything clicks and everything before is recontextualised in a way that’s so satisfying and make the whole story very re-readable. A time travel story where all loops are already closed, where you can know but not yet understand what will happen. It’s long, complex, and beautifully, meticulously planned and detailed. It’s clever and considered, funny and heartbreaking. 

A story that whispers ‘it matters’ over and over. It is worth it to love, it is worth it if it doesn’t last forever, it is worth it to give someone a little more time, it is worth it to fight. It’s about loving others and your world and finding grace for yourself. 

It’s loss and tragedy and the cruelness of fate. It is the sacrifice and the breaking. 

Full of heart to both fill yours and break it in the best possible way. 

It’s about love. Always.

By @toyouhellohowareyou

Sometimes, it’s hard to explain to others why art moves us.

I could tell you This is an Adjuration will make you cry, laugh, and sit at the edge of your seat in anticipation. And it’s probably true - I did all of that as I read, often with a coffee in one hand, early in the morning as I got ready for the day. 

But that’s not the reason why I’m writing this.

The real reason is how it followed me during the rest of the day.

You see, at a certain point I realized this isn’t a story about Links going on adventures. Well, it does feature Links, and they do go on adventures, so let’s talk about that for a minute.

The first thing that caught my attention about this book was the characters. Each individual is unique, interesting, and exciting to follow. Not only are the Links individually compelling, but one thing that stands out in Adjuration is how the relationship between each Hero and their own worlds matter, and these connections shift, evolve, break and grow as the plot progresses.

Freyja does an incredible job of bringing together impactful storytelling with humor and heart. This is an Adjuration starts with an interesting premise, and then twists and turns in directions you wouldn’t expect. It’s rich in thought-provoking moments, soft joy and intense action, blended in with carefully crafted time travel and magic.

Adjuration sucked me into the world it builds, combining believable characters with fascinating stories, an unnervingly devious antagonist, plot twists, and lovingly crafted details that slip unnoticed until you’re surrounded on all sides. It made me cheer for characters I feel as if I’ve known intimately for years, made me worry for their safety as I would for that of a loved one, kept me hunting for hints and hidden references, pulling on a thread to try to find the end only for it to twist and loop into itself and show me a completely new side to the story.

Yes, This is an Adjuration is a fanfiction piece that explores the winding river flow of the Legend of Zelda timeline and how the stories of each Hero merge into each other. It also stands out for its heavy emotional content, and it doesn’t shy away from angst and hurt.

But to me, Adjuration is an epic journey that taught me how the choices we make, make us in turn. It’s a tragedy that deals with pain and healing, and it bares naked the non-linear nature of grief. It’s a celebration of the things that make us unique, of our flaws, an essay of the impact of little acts of love. Indeed, it’s a story about love.

I can tell you now, This is an Adjuration moved me. It still does. It has a special way to surface in my mind in unexpected ways at seemingly random times, from something as simple as tossing an apple core, to watching a lightning storm in the distance, or finding a picture of an old friend.

And every time, without fail, it makes me think about love.

By @sunny-porridge

This is an Adjuration is a wonderfully and beautifully crafted story about love, loss, and choice as the various incarnations of Link come together and travel through time. Freyja seamlessly weaves a tapestry of setup and payoff across different timelines and loops, in the best-constructed time travel plot I’ve ever seen on page or screen. Even at its surface, Adjuration is an emotional rollercoaster involving tragedy and the soft moments that make that tragedy worth it. But the deeper you look, the more meaning you can pull from every chapter of this amazing work. This work has made me cry, squeal with delight, and think more deeply about its themes all while having an absolute blast reading it. So in summary: READ IT. READ IT. READ IT NOW. YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT.

By @life-in-winter

While I love that every chapter is emotionally enthralling, with carefully woven, visceral tension you crave in any good story, yet Adjuration is more than that, and you feel it in the careful weave of each character and plot point. Nothing is lost or unanswered. It's the kind of story that, by the end, makes you stop and take a hard look at your own life. Are you appreciating the now? Are you savoring joy? Are you so wrapped up in fear that you can hardly take care of yourself? Do you know who you are?

This story is more like an external experience. It's riding atop a tsunami. How do you handle that ride, Link?

There aren't enough words to describe how amazing this fic is.

@needfantasticstories

Artist credit

Legend: @gia-d

Hyrule: @bittirsweeteer

Time: @toonblade

Sky: @noorahqar

Warriors: @whitewinterstar

Wild: @weavingstarlight

Twilight: @bluury2

Wind: @thewitchdoctor39

Four: @lunaopus

Red: @peepthatbish

Blue: @glowingmin

Green: @winterfen

Vio: @waterfallstream

Shadow: @deleetrix

Wolfie: @linkiscool333

Fierce Deity: @awildsilver

Ravio: @lele5429

Malon: @tooner-tastic

Dink: @passerinesoncaffeine

[patheticpeoplesupreme]

Au where SQH messes up a little too much during their head disciple days and System punishes him not with death, but by ripping him of his personality and memories, leaving him a husk of his former self. For years, the mountain has tried to fix him but to no avail, Mobei—Jun kidnapped him and forced his underlings to fix SQH but

Nothing worked. Eventually, An Ding Peak worked without a Peak Lord, and they all mourned for SQH’s technical death/disappearance.

When SY appeared as a disciple of SQQ and helped to fix his relationships with everyone, aka SQQ and LQG become bffs, YQY reconciles with SQQ

And SQQ started to treat LBH better, he still calls him little beast though, but anyway,

Despite that, the cliff scene still happens because the system wants tragedy, and now SY stresses out alone for the next few years, vaguely remembering the plant body

The plot still continues, meanwhile while they’re both dead for a while, when the peak lords found out SQH’s body was in Mobei—Jun’s palace, they tried for years to get both SQH’s and SQQ’s body

And more of the plot happens

And eventually, SY and LBH get together and there’s a happy ending for them, until SY remembers that he’s never once seen the An Ding peak lord,

He’d felt unnerved when MBJ was the one who invaded instead of the rhino, but he didn’t have time to question it

He asks YQY about which leads him to asking LBH to asking MBJ if he would let SY to talk to SQH’s body. MBJ only lets him go inside because LBH mentioned how knowledgeable SY was about various things.

MBJ protectively stays in the room, LBH stays to protect SY

—

“Shang Qinghua?” He says aloud, staring at the traitor spy cautiously. He didn’t really understand why MBJ was protective of the man, though he supposed it’s because SQH couldn’t have betrayed him in this timeline if he was just a husk.

Still, he wondered, what changed? Why had SQH lost his soul? Was it like… Him? Was the system preparing for another transmigrator? But YQY said that he’d been in a sort f a coma for years! Why would the system wait this long?

Suddenly, the system beeped

[Would User 02 like to free User 01 from his punishment?]

!!!

User 01?? What!? System!??? You can’t use spring that up on him without context??!?

[Would User 02 like context?]

YES PLEASE??

[User 01 transmigrated here as a baby! Unfortunately, User 01 lost too many points! Too much OOC! So the System has inflicted punishment on User 01!]

This is… so severe! Shen Yuan frowned and kneeled down to his level. His heart churned for the former user, he didn’t think there could have been such a severe punishment.

“Who was he…?” He murmured, not noticing that the two demons in the room was heard. MBJ restrained himself from responding, it hurt to remember the small little human that vowed to follow him for all his like.

[User 01’s USER ID is Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky!]

“…”

“You..” MBJ gritted out after a long silence of SY staring at the body, it was getting irritating. It also unnerved him. He wasn’t doing anything, but he seemed to reach a level of understanding that no one else could.

Still, LBH gave him a look, even if he was also doubting SY’s actions a little, “Have patience.”

This time, SY took care to say it in his head.

‘Can’t you free him from his punishment?? It’s been years! The plot is practically over now! Just—! He doesn’t deserve this suffering!’

[The System thought User 02 hated User 01 for writing Proud Immortal Demon Way OwO]

‘That doesn’t mean I want him to live as a husk of his former self! He had a life! The peak lords never described him as a bad person! What would it take for you to give his life back!?]

[Hm…]

What do you mean HMM?!?!?

[Analysing.]

[Analysing.]

[Analysing.]

[Congratulations! Congratulations! Congratulations! Good things must be said three times! Due to User 02 managing to complete the plot, the System will reward User 02 by freeing User 01 for free! No points will be deducted! The data of User 01 ; Shang Qinghua will be transferred slowly!]

Shen Yuan only sighed in relief and stepped back when he spotted Airplane’s soul flowing back into his body.

He didn’t wake immediately, it’s been far too long for that, but he saw two light streams of tears running down his cheeks, barely breathing as his body worked up to becoming functional.

Mobei Jun gasped and rushed to his side, his cold hands freezing the tears, but he never stopped holding SQH’s body closely.

[dark-night-hero]

hi :'D man your writing of tragedy makes me want to cry and i love it

the first one i read from your works is zhongli losing y/n his mate because he wasnt there when a god wrecked havoc, so i got an idea.

neuvi's old old, and focalors invited him to be the iudex of fontaine right? during his early days in fontaine he struggled so much with interacting with humans. what if, he meets a human (y/n) who doesnt care that their new iudex had come from nowhere, and completely aids neuvi with communicating with humans and they form such a close bond that he doesnt understand, but right as he decides to go for it and ask yn he receives news of a new case ; yn's murder :D

i swear i did not mean for this ask to be long i am so sorry 😭

Humans can be cruel ang cunning creatures. If not then crimes and wars would have never happened. They are beings who are capable of hurting each other for the sake of their own gain. They would not hesitate to use each other and kill each other.

That is the human on Neuvillette, the new iudex of Fontaine. He does not even know why he accepted such invitation. In the first place, his hesrt was distant from the people. His imagine of them was quite... bad. Maybe that was just his discrimination, but the more he get to stand on trial, then more distorted his imagine of mortals become.

And then he met you. You who was a human, but different from the humans that the knew. You were just... different. You do not look at him with fear nor do you look at him with indifference. The way you act around him, you just act like yourself.

He met you in a rainy day, a rainy day after a trial. He was walking unbothered under the rain, when a figure with umbrella started walking towards him. "Ah- Ah! Mister-!" At first, he ignore it despite the softness of the voice whom was talking to him. "Wait-!" He was avoiding people as good as he can. He saw no good in interacting with them.

"Hey!" He was getting pissed to be honest, the rain was getting heavier and once in a while a thunder could be heard. He was ready to brush the person off when suddenly, the rain stopped. There was an umbrella over his head. "Are you crazy! At this rate you're going to get sick!" What? Neuvillette was stunned, letting himself get dragged by this mortal who does not seem to recognise him or did they? "Iudex or not, what are you thinking walking under the pouring rain? Here! Take this umbrella!" After going under some shade, he watch you left him out much thought, he was holding your umbrella as you only have your hands protecting you from the rain.

You are weird. Weird in a good way that does not make sense. Maybe it was a coincidence, but after thatm he kept bumping into you. In his walk in his way into the court and when he was coming back from the court. In the path he talk, you were always there talking to him even though he does not reply. Still, it was strange how with you, he felt comfort.

"It's raining again, and here you are walking under the rain. Seriously, what's with you?" ... "Rather than that, what's with you?" "Me? What's wrong with me?" "You're different from other." "What makes me different from them?" He did not answer after that, for he too does not know what to say. How weird.

You were pretty close to him. He does not know how, but many all those walk together with you was working. In the end, he found himself completely relax and comfortable around you. "Now that I think about it. I'm your only friend, no?" ... "gasp! For real?" "Humans... I found them rather hard to communicate with." After all those trials, he does not know what to think about humans anymore. That is why he found you weird. "Why? Why is that?!" You pout. "Well..." He stopped walking and ponder for a while. "Maybe it's because I have seen mostly the dark side of humans that I cannot seem to know what to think and say to them." He replied after a little while. "Hey! That's totally unfair! If you try hard enough to know more about us there is more than the dark side there is to see!" "Hmmm. I doubt..." "No! Seriously, you jut have to open up your heart to the people and you will see the goodness in their heart." You laugh. To be honest, he does know that. After all, there was no other ways he could describe you but a good person and perhaps, maybe even more than that. But to open his heart to the people other than you... "Right... I'll think about it."

Neuvillette always find it difficult to interact with people. Most of the time he had this instinct to stay away from them. Maybe it has something to do with their origins, he was a high being after all and humans. Humans are just... humans. Nevertheless from the moment he have met you, he knew he was doomed. Doomed to understand humans. From the moment he get to know more of you, the more he mindset starts to change. Maybe... maybe humans are not as bad a he thought them to be.

"Are you okay?" The cafe was not crowded. It was almost midnight when the two of you decided to go into one. "Of course! Why wouldn't I be?" You asked with a smile on your face. Nevertheless Neuvillette did not fail to notice the way your eyes quickly scan the surroundings, the way you seemed to be anxiously playing with your fingers. But then, you are looking at him dead in the eyes telling him you are fine. Maybe it was nothing. "It's getting dark, shall we go?"

That night, Neuvillette decided to give it a try. Maybe just as you said, humans are not bad as he thought they would be. Maybe just like you said, all he need to do is to open his heart to the people and see things in a different perspective. Thinking about it makes his lips curl up, thinking how joyful you would be if he were to tell you that in person. But.

Humans can be cruel ang cunning creatures. If not then crimes and wars would have never happened. They are beings who are capable of hurting each other for the sake of their own gain. They would not hesitate to use each other and kill each other.

"What is this?" His hands were shaking. "Earlier a citizen named (First name) (Lastname) was found mur-?! Monsieur?! Where-" He rush out the room. He run and run and run until he was under the heavy rain. Hands still clenching the piece of goddamn paper with such gruesome, unbelievable concent. No, he would not believe it. He could not believe it. You were just walking with him earlier this day, your smile as too real for it to be unreal. He had just seen you earlier so why? Why are you there sitting in your own pool of blood soaked under the rain?

He could not even approach you, he just watch there along with the other people watching the crime scene get cleaned up like it was nothing. People were looking at you with interest like yu were some kind of entertainment after all. It was the very first case of murder in Fontaine.

Neuvillette could hear nothing under the rain, he just stood there under the same spot even after tour body was taken away. Countless thoughts running in his head. Why? Why does it have to be you? Why do humans never change? Why does t has to be you? Why? Just fucking why you? You asked Neuvillette to give humans a chance. But how could he do that now that he knew humans were the very same being that took you away from him?

Neuvillette did not cry but he just stand there, eyes bloodshot as his lips leak blood from bitting so hard, hands curl into a fist. He was mad, so mad that he wanted to end things right now. He was starting to blame everyone, the world for taking away the only good thing that ever happened to him. In his eyes were those full of hatred and is ready to explode. He would never forgive-

Neuvillette felt a weak thug on his pants, for a moment, he looked down. The first thing he noticed was the blood stained water right in front of him before the child that was holding on into him. "Ha-hydro dragon. Do-don't cry." The child sniff, tears rolling down his cheeks upon saying so.

Neuvillette does not like humans. They are a cruel and cunning being who took away the love of his life before he could even realise it was love. At the same time, these humans were the being that his love one loves very much. "Don't worry." He slowly reach out and pat the little boy's head and magically, he was suddenly dried despite the pouring rain. "The hydro dragon doesn't cry." Just like that, the rain that seemed to be drowning in sadness stopped.

[ⓒdark-night-hero] 2024°

: I think I fucked up. Na bobo ata ako sa sunod sunod na quiz at exam kanina HAHAHA IT'S SO HOT IN THE PH HUHU

: No but seriously I think I fucked up making this asked. HAHAHAHHA did I do it right? Imma delete this na lang charot.

[mapoeggplant]

skip to loafer chapter 71 analysis // spoilers

the chase for the perfect motherhood: for many chapters, we had the chance to hear the monster; now, it's finally time for the scientist to share her side.

the play is about to start, but the story has been going on for a while. for a long time, we had the chance to listen to shima and understand his side like never before, and now, it's time to stop and listen to the side of those who made the mistake. it's finally time for the scientist to give her account of the creation of the monster.

it's very difficult for me not to feel empathy for shima's mother in the present, but unfortunately there's no other way out for her than to reap the fruits that she herself planted. which makes me feel even more sorry for her, since i can understand that she was doing her best to do what she thought was right, but unfortunately the truth came out when it was too late.

in my opinion, motherhood is one of the hardest things in the world, especially when you have no support network whatsoever. you have to, all by yourself, raise a human being in the way you understand to be the best, giving them what you believe to be all the best opportunities you can give. but of course, we are all living life for the first time, so making mistakes is almost impossible.

we don't know exactly what yuki's family life was like and everything that really happened until sousuke came into her life. what we do know is that she lived in a completely abusive relationship and that she had a child with a man who doesn't even remember that he is a father. when we look at it from this perspective, we can understand where all the fear and control that she began to place on shima came from.

motherhood, loneliness. a home, a life, a new world in her hands. the fear of losing her child, the fear of making her child suffer, the anxiety of giving him everything she always believed to be good. the glass dome, the external pressure, the fear of others. the need to protect.

the problem is that, at some point, fear and overprotection dissolved into abuse.

it is undeniable that misaki takamatsu has a writing style that shows the characters' pain without turning them into villains. even if we only have one side of the story for many chapters, at some point the other person will have their chance to speak and the reader will be able to gain a little more depth about this character's life. but, of course, the story simulates a human life, so it is to be expected that the reactions and consequences will also be completely human.

i remember writing, in my analysis of chapter 68, that taiga was both a salvation and a tragedy in shima's life. a salvation for having given him the chance to be a child for a while, a tragedy for having been the butterfly effect that would cause all the subsequent events involving shima and ririka's careers (more details in my analysis). now, taiga once again fulfills this role and finally forces shima's mother to face her own flaws by exposing all her mistakes, something that everyone around her did know and gossiped about (which even shima knew about), but never had enough courage (or strength or they simply didn't care) to face her.

having all her actions exposed so coldly in front of yuki doesn't make her angry, but rather makes her finally see all the pain she had been subjecting her son to for so many years. the fog that covered her eyes, which she believed so much was care, finally disappeared, revealing something much more painful.

and she does what many parents can't do, or simply don't want to do, don't think it's right, don't see any point in it: she apologizes to her son and starts seeking treatment. when she says she's going to the hospital, i interpret it as her seeking psychological help to understand where she went wrong and how she can move forward from here. her life has changed, she found someone who makes her feel good and who takes care of sousuke. her son can finally be free to be whoever he wants to be...but what was done is already done.

it's understandable how angry shima feels about his mother and why he's so reluctant to open up and give her a new chance. for years, he didn't have a mother who was there or someone who took care of him the way a mother should. the wound that opened and remained exposed for so many years cannot heal overnight: it takes years and years of trial and error until the pain begins to be more tolerable than agonizing.

shima has been showing a desire to change ever since he took the initiative and invited his mother to go see his play. this is a huge step, which is the result of a lot of struggle on his part to want to change and find his own happiness. shima's growth is very explicit and palpable, being explored in several chapters — but it still needs a lot of work.

the story of the two still needs a lot of forgiveness to start moving forward. yuki also needs to forgive himself, just as shima needs to forgive himself. the struggle to find a healthy relationship between mother and son requires a lot, a lot of work and dedication, which i believe has already started on both of their parts. but, if shima decides, after all, that he doesn’t want to have any relationship with his mother, he’s in the right to do so and it’s his choice to make.

i hope that yuki one day finds the strength to be the mother she always dreamed of being in sousuke's life. i am very happy to know that now there is someone who is willing to help her and who treats her son with immense respect, as a stepfather should be. i'm also happy that she had a new chance with kieri, but sad that she can't change the past. 

now, for sousuke, i hope this play is his way of letting off steam and finally accepting this monster that lives inside him. embracing his past self so that both of them can move forward. taking all the scraps you left behind and analyzing what is still valid to be used in your new life and what needs to finally be left behind.

life is made of successes and mistakes, of scars that we cause to others and that are caused in us. made of wrong choices, badly said words and feelings much greater than we ourselves can control. it is up to us to understand where we went wrong and where other people went wrong with us and to find a new reason to continue. forgiveness is something that is entirely ours and should only be given when we feel safe enough.

ah! before i finish, just a little note: you can see that shima is way more comfortable with keiri now than he was before. i do believe there's a lot of mitsumi's influence there, but we can't deny the fact that keiri fought hard for his big brother's love!! it's clear that he admires sousuke a lot and wants to be closer to him. great to see them being so comfortable around each other.

what a ride, huh?? another chapter that highlight sensei's beautiful writing, that's for sure!! can't wait to see shima acting in the play and being way more open. sensei do love to make the school festival to be a very crazy arc!!!

thank you for reading 💛!! please support sensei if you can!!

see you next month :)

[schizoid-hikikomori]

So much of the human experience is defined by how we react to things, even if we don't consciously think about it.

People like to define "humanity" as the emotions/empathy/sympathy/love you feel. Anhedonia and apathy combined with alexithymia is considered inhuman. No ordinary person would know this terminology, but when they see it in people, they consider it a "wrong" or "strange" or "inhuman" way to exist.

People might just assume you're depressed if you're not enjoying anything you're doing, or if you're unresponsive in a social situation. But when it comes to something dramatic, like a societal tragedy or a relationship issue or a death or something similar, if you don't react in the way you're expected to, you're judged.

These judgements could be in good faith, maybe they assume that you're in shock and you don't know how to react. But others will assume you're heartless and don't care at all. It depends on who you're with and how you navigate the situation overall, how your reaction will impact their reactions.

Beyond the surface level, it's also the little things, how you react to birthdays, holidays, marriages, pregnancies, medical events, children, elders, etc. We are a society highly defined by interaction with other people. When you don't interact as expected within your respective culture, you're looked at like something other.

I know what it's like to feel things, at least, I have some sort of memory of enjoying things and feeling strong emotions, but they feel so much like a distant memory far beneath the ocean's surface—muffled, colorless, far away, unreachable. Thinking back on memories don't trigger emotions for me anymore. Despite this, there's still things I don't like talking about, but that I can remember without triggering those traumatic feelings.

I'm sure the change seems drastic to people who've known me since I was a child. Or they didn't notice, which seems to be about right. I became so good at keeping things internal that there's so many things I haven't described even to my mother about my childhood, where she thought I was doing perfectly fine in the messes that were going on.

I started feeling like I was dying at the start of high school and that feeling never left. I feel like I've decayed and I've become something inhuman.

(Photo from the other night.)

Imagery like this was always something I connected with even as a child. Dark hallways, bare tree branches twisting up into the sky like twisted little things, dark churches (which I owe to having grandparents working at a historical church), dead forests, cemeteries, and other gothic imagery.

Now, it portrays the things inside of me that are difficult to verbalize. I do it in my artwork, I do it in my writing.

Even though my novellas are all very different stories, they contain very similar details, relating to an often cynical and unlikable protagonist, themes of bodily identity, neglect of self care, and how we appear to others. As for my art, I don't really like explaining it, especially my art that's unrelated to any of my stories. Writing artist statements for gallery showings and suchlike things has always been dreadful. I'd rather it just speak for itself.

So in the end, I consider myself something inhuman. It is not something I reject or am ashamed of, for I've lost my ability to feel shame. There's no reason to deny the truth.