#I have shit I need to do and be awake for

[xazse]

Female!Reader × HybridPuppy!Yuji

The reader produces breast milk , which she expresses and donates to a shelter for small hybrids. HybridPuppy!Yuji often hugs her and presses himself against her chest to inhale the smell of milk, which makes his mouth water and his cock hard. In the end, he can't resist and begs his mistress to let him suck her milk. Or he sneaks into her bedroom at night and drinks her milk while she sleeps.

Instead of Yuji, you can have Satoru if you want to change the character

Notes: I love this so fucking much, I made a few changes I hope you don’t mind and I’m using Satoru btw because I don’t write for minors.

Pairings: PuppyHybrid!Satoru x LactatingFem!Reader

Warnings: I’m sorry but I’m warning ya now this is some nasty shit but a good nasty if ur into this! + Smut + Lactation + hybrids + reader has big boobs + possessive!Satoru + perv!Satoru + porn with plot + notproofread + bathroom sex + I think I spent too much time on plot and not enough porn sorry!

You love visiting the shelter near your house, it’s just a ten minute walk of you enjoying the scenery and speaking to the townspeople, they always greet you with the warmest smiles because they know you, they’ve known you for years.

In fact everyone here knows you: a widowed mother and wife, a mother whose children have been moved on to pursue their own hopes and dreams so in your little warm house it’s just you. You’ve noticed for a while a void in your heart, the loneliness does get to you some days but not today.

Recently a facility had been built, a hybrid facility, at first you hadn’t ever thought those existed because under new law hybrids are allowed to coexist around regular humans, they are to be treated as such it was a long time coming, it hurt your heart to see them being treated as outcasts.

You learned that this facility was for the young, abandoned and on occasion they’d take in adults who still couldn’t find their place.

And in that place you finally found your calling. for some odd reason you and your doctor couldn’t place you were still weirdly lactating, it was exhausting having sore breasts and an endless supply of milk you’d have to pour down the drain: too embarrassed to donate it in fear of being found out in the small town of people.

You awake up with full boobs that needed to be emptied or you’d spend the entire day in pain, pumping the milk was the only way, you’d only have to do it once a day but the sheer amount could keep a baby feed for the entire day.

You’d been talking to one of the workers of the facility and they’d been explaining how the young ones weren’t exactly taking well to the supplied formula milk, “they’d cry constantly” he exclaimed and it broke your heart into pieces the thought of them not eating hurts you, for the very first time you confided in the worker and he didn’t look disgusted not one bit in fact he seemed overjoyed.

“Disgusted? Why would I feel that way? This means the little ones will eat and not throw fits.” When he finishes that sentence a long drawn out sigh leaves his lips. You can’t help the giggle that falls from your lips.

Suguru you learn comes by your house to pick up the supplements and does he have some comments, he had waited a week to see how much you would produce.

“All this?!” You stand in your doorway shyly nodding in his presence, he’s actually appalled you weren’t lying when you said you have a good bit, he shakes the box in his hands and listens carefully, it’s hard for you to watch him do that right in front of you and not get a little flustered.

He thanks you graciously and makes his way back to the facility, you really hope they like it, it was one hell of a week for you. Though the feeling you did something good swarms you with warmth.

After that it was found that they absolutely loved your milk, and you had plenty to give, it was so cute the way Suguru described their reactions and how priceless it was. One little one had whined for more: Yuji was a special character he required a bit more milk since he was malnourished, Suguru couldn’t stop describing how he would not let go of the bottle, his grip was not going to let up easily, he looked so genuinely happy describing his work and how much he enjoys this field.

You break out of your thoughts and make your way to the facility, it’s downright gorgeous garden greeting you before the glass doors, smelling so good greets you just as warmly, you open the door and offer your greetings to the staff, Suguru had told you on the phone that the little ones had been particularly needy and needed some attention, attention they couldn’t provide right at the moment so they called you: they always do.

They’re way more comfortable with you, always asking when you’re coming back and on occasion they’ll beg you to stay a little longer with them, cute little faces decorated in tears to trick you.

Right now you’re relaxing on the mat in the playroom whilst they all run around chasing after one another, Nobara: a little lion hybrid is trying her hardest to doze off on your lap, she can’t with all the loud children playing like it’s their last day ever. You slowly and softly rub her short locs to lull her, it’s working until Yuji: a tiger hybrid ever the energetic thing is crawling to come bother her.

With Megumi: a wolf hybrid, and basically his other half following right behind him quietly.

Nobara seems unphased by the tiger trying to bother her, simply shooing him away so she can get her beauty sleep, that sentence makes you giggle, you continue to watch the threes antics without saying a word, a show with no production is how they act together.

Yuji sees your hands rubbing Nobaras ears and he’s immediately making his way towards your soft fingers, basically forcing you to rub his orange striped ears, this doesn’t make Nobara happy and she tries to shove him away; whining for your attention again.

You know how they get if you aren’t showing them equal parts attention so now both of your hands are preoccupied, Megumi doesn’t seem to mind, simply sitting and watching on.

You hear his voice before you even see him, he’s definitely running through the halls disrupting the staff, he’s yelling your name so loud that you know its Satoru and how eager he is, you know how eager puppy hybrids can be.

When he pops his head into the playroom the brightest smile you think you’ve ever seen, he quickly makes his way over to you ignoring the little growls the babies give him, he’s pushing them aside against your protest and laying in your lap. The grip he has around your waist allows for him to fully envelope himself in your breasts.

“Missed you’s much” he playfully whines.

“You seen me yesterday Toru.”

Satoru lets out a satisfied sigh in the warmth of your boobs, he’s become obsessed with you, and it’s bad he’s had to he reprimanded by Suguru and the other staff multiple times for his possessiveness it’s not his fault though! He can’t control how he feels about you not after that day.

It was when he was feeding Megumi, sometimes as a way to bond Suguru will have Satoru bottle feed them, though he absolutely dreads it, he has to put up with it, all the other adult hybrids are far too hard headed.

He was curious one day, about how the milk had tasted, he found out through Suguru that the formula had been changed to breast milk, it was a slip of the tongue but he himself had also noticed how they whined for more.

He unscrewed the top to the bottle, the little calm Megumi was already drifting off so he wasn’t a problem.

He took a sip, and quickly pulled away: fully expecting it to be the worst thing he’s ever tried: it’s baby food not food meant for him but that feeling on his tongue never came in fact it was actually quite good.

Another sip and another after that; he scarfed the remains of the bottle down with a flushed face, it tassted like- well he couldn’t describe it but he knew he fucking loved it. He found himself sneaking into where it was kept and taking some for himself, it was almost an everyday thing, he knew when Suguru was questioning and bothering him he had to stop but he couldn’t, until he met the source of where the milk was coming from.

He snuggles his face deeper, ignoring and zoning out the loud noises around him, he can smell the milk on your breasts, you recently pumped? Probably this morning to be exact as and all he can think about is how you sat there for hours getting rid of the awful feeling in your sore breasts.

You feel something hard against your leg, you know how Satoru feels about you but this is too much. You’ve already had to tell him in the past that he’s much too young for you and would be better off finding someone who can fit his needs, he insists that he only wants you and doesn’t care about the age difference.

You have yet to bring up these feelings to Suguru though, you can’t bring yourself to say because what if Satoru won’t trust you anymore, it was hard building trust with the man due to his past experiences.

He’s only getting more excited by the minute, his tail moving in slow languid motions.

The way he’s looking up at you is filled with nothing but love and lust, you know that look too well.

You aren’t sure why you’re in a bathroom stall with Toru whilst he feels you up, caressing your boobs, every attempt to tell him to stop dies on your tongue when he rubs a sore area, your breath hitching in your throat when he grinds his hard cock on you.

Such a needy puppy he is, whining under his breath words that you can’t quite decipher especially with how heated you’re getting, your mind getting foggier by the minute as you let Satoru get his fill of you.

He rips apart your blouse and carelessly throws it on the floor, along with your bra next. Your nipples are exposed to the cold air of the facility and Satoru is reveling in it. He paws at your heavy boobs with rough calloused hands that are uncoordinated, squeezing the fat in his hand until he sees what he wants.

The droplets of your milk finally coming to fruition, he licks one nipple and you think you can see him visibly shake with excitement, he filts that nipple in his mouth and suckles, after a good minute he ceases his constant unconscious movements and readily focuses on the sweet milk cascading down his throat.

A moan breaks free from your trembling lips, this feels nothing like the machine you have at home, this feels so fucking good it alone has your cunt throbbing in your panties, the swirling of his tongue and just how content he looks is driving you mad.

You slip into that space that you know is bad for you, your voice is for some reason egging Satoru on, calling him all sorts of names that entice him to suck harder. Your hands don’t listen to you either because you’re rubbing the front of his pants in soft motions.

His whimpers don’t go unnoticed, nor does his swishing tail, such a good boy you tell him, losing all sense of rational he drags you with him to sit on the toilet, you don’t expect the amount of strength he has for being so lanky but he manages it.

He goes right back to sucking on your fat breasts that still replenish his appetite.

You let Satoru strip you of your bottoms and your panties, you let him slip his cock inside of you when you know you shouldn’t, he isn’t big but he fucks constant, always hitting that good spot inside of you based off your reactions.

He looks disheveled and messy, his face red and his mouth dripping with drool and remnants of your milk.

You let him bend you any which way he sees fit in that stall, an overexcited hybrid means it’s going to take a while to exhaust them, though you feel tired after having an orgasm you’ve never experienced he isn’t done, he’s cum multiple times, filled your cunt with his leaky cum he still isn’t done yet.

When he’s got you in his lap leaning on him for support he’s nonstop talking about what you and him will do from here, he talks about how he wants a family of his own and how you’ll be such a perfect mommy to his little ones.

[goddamnitmahtin]

This is too good… I must add because what if…

During one of their meetups

Tim, sleep deprived and desperate for coffee, “Robu…. I need you.” He slumped onto Danny’s couch

Now normally, Danny wouldn’t prefer to be referred to as a coffee brand all the time but… this was Tim. And it was Tim’s favorite coffee… so in a way… it was like he was Tim’s favorite coffee? It was hard to explain but Danny knew that he liked it a lot. More than he probably should have.

He placed the cup of coffee into his fake boyfriend’s hands. His very big hands. Course from working so hard being all heroic in the field of duty. Calloused and bruised, no doubt broken and reset dozens of times. The hands of a vigilante who was fully and utterly alive.

Danny was never jealous of Tim for that. Infact… he was very happy for Tim that he was so alive. Heartbeats are a good thing of course. And his was very nice. Steady and always going 100 miles a minute from the amount of caffeine he consumed. He supposed he should stop providing said caffeine but he spent his whole life being selfless. He was going to let himself be selfish this one time. He didn’t want to stop seeing his fake boyfriend.

“How long has it been this time?” Danny asked, trying not to sound too suspicious, “Since you’ve slept?”

He watched as the adorable mess of a man slumped over his couch sighed, “Um- 6- no- 8? Um- 74 hours or so?”

Well it wasn’t as bad as sometimes at least. He knew that it was bad for him to be awake so long. Sometimes on their “fake dates” Danny suggested movie nights just so he would take a nap. He wanted Tim’s heart to keep beating so he could keep listening to the sound.

Danny nodded, “Busy man you are.” He made sure his body blocked the coffee table from Tim’s view. He hadn’t properly put his mail out of sight before his vigilante had come to see him and he knew that Tim was nothing if not a detective.

Tim noticed the awkwardness coming from him immediatly, “Hey why are you hiding your mail from me?”

Dammit Tim why do you have to be so smart and perfect all the fucking time-

Danny laughed nervously, “I’m not- doing that…”

Tim sat up and gently adjusted Danny out of the way to look at the papers, grabbing him by the waist to do so.

Danny swooned only a little when he felt those big hands on his hips. Momentarily, he very much forgot why he was hiding his mail from Tim. But not long enough for the distraction to stop him from trying to grab the papers before Tim could reach them.

He failed.

Tim looked at the eviction notice in his hand, “Danny you never told me- I could have given you more money?!” He looked bewildered and confused. And more than that. Danny could tell there was a bit of fear in his eyes. He understood. He felt it too.

“Money isn’t the problem Tim, you give me more than enough,” Danny said fidgeting with the tracker fashionably dangling from his ear, “Everyone in the building got one. Ms. Abernathy sold it under the table to some shady company.”

Tim looked outright pissed, “What company is it?”

“I don’t remember but I remember hearing the name of it and thinking it sounded fake as hell. Probably why we are all getting kicked out instead of our leases transferring to the new owner. Ms. Abernathy doesn’t want her tenants in a bad situation,” Danny explained. He may not have been a vigilante anymore but hey, he still knew shady shit when he saw it.

Then a ding from Tim’s Nightwing tracker. And then immediately after, he feels another presence outside the window. The other birds were spying again.

“Move in with me,” Tim blurted out.

Danny… well Danny…. Danny fucking short circuited.

“Wha-?” was all he could get out. Normally he was better at improvising but ancients be damned, the cutest man ever just asked him to move in with him.

“Look I know I said we should wait since I didn’t want you in harms way if any rogues found my apartment but…” Tim wrapped his arms around Danny’s waist AGAIN, “I trust you to be able to defend yourself (after Danny broke into the Batcave as Phantom, Danny told him everything because why wouldn’t he) and honestly… I’de love having you around more often Robu.”

Danny’s breath caught as he felt those callouses on his hips again. He watched Tim stand to look him eye to eye and felt his entire core purr as one of those calloused hands moved to his cheek. Tim was really playing it up.

Danny could play it up too, “Aw is the tracker not enough anymore Timothy?” He wrapped his arms around Tim’s neck, bringing his face closer, “Of course I’ll move in with you. But don’t think I’ll be taking it off.” (Danny was referring to the tracker)

Tim smiled, “Don’t you dare.”

Then they kissed. Like on the lips. Cuz they were acting. Yeah, that. It didn’t stop Danny from adoring how Tim tasted of coffee though.

The next minute they were packing a few bags of Danny’s things and heading off to the new apartment.

While his core buzzed excitedly about the future of much more close proximity, Danny’s mind couldn’t help but wander off a little. They had gone this far. And Tim had a nickname for him. Maybe he should come up with one for Tim? He called him Tim or Timothy mostly, sometimes throwing other names in there to see if they stuck but nothing ever did. He called him Birdie once and the man gave him the biggest glare he had ever seen. It was attractive but not the response he was hoping for.

Danny knew a lot about death. Obviously. He also knew the irony of Tim’s vigilante persona Red Robin. The most alive man he had ever met used the name of a bird of death. Most people only know about the associations from cardinals, many stating that the dead send the bird to their loved ones as reminders of them.

What not as many people knew was that this was also extended to red robins. Red robins also had a double meaning when it came to the dead as they represented rebirth and starting anew. The same meaning as an upright death card in the tarot deck.

If anything… of the two of them Danny was the red robin. Tim was more of a…. swan. Yeah a swan. Loyalty, fidelity, and grace. Swans also mate for life but Danny wasn’t going to think about that. He knew Tim probably didn’t do that kind of thing like ghosts did. But it was a nice thought that he wasn’t going think about at all.

He set down the box with his clothes in it. He didn’t have very many. Most of the clothes he had were from before he moved here and most of that was destroyed in Amity Park when his parents found out what he was. It was… a lot of fire.

The rest of the clothes he had… well he kinda slowly stole them from Tim whenever he finally decided to shower and crash out whenever he stayed the night.

It wasn’t weird. He trusted Danny to wake him up before he had to leave for work. It wasn’t weird at all. Infact… Danny’s core quite liked it whenever he would stay.

“Well that’s all of my stuff,” he said.

Tim nodded, looking at all 4 boxes and 1 backpack, “Well it’s a good thing you pack so light. Too bad that couch wasn’t yours. It was comfy as fuck.”

Danny chuckled, “The bed wasn’t mine either.”

At that Tim laughed as well, “I know Robu. It was far too comfortable for you to afford.”

Danny scoffed, though the thoughts of his hometown that were brought up by how little stuff he had didn’t leave completely, “Wow thanks.”

Tim’s posture straitened. Dammit. Tim always fucking knew.

“What are you thinking about,” he asked, getting close. He always did that. Got close. He knew Danny sought comfort in physical contact. He could hear a difference in Tim’s heartbeat from the genuine concern.

Danny looked up at him, “Amity… my parents…”

Tim nodded, “Do you want to talk about it or a distraction?”

Ancients, this man was so fucking perfect.

“Distraction please,” Danny sighed, letting his head fall against Tim’s chest. He wanted to listen to his heartbeat. It was nice. And Tim held him for a while just like that. Talking about how he was going to buy a brand new bed for Danny and that after that, he was going to make 3 new tracker earrings all in different colors so that he could always have one on him no matter the outfit (As if Danny didn’t wear the silver one he already had everywhere).

One day… one day maybe it could be real. But until then… having Tim like this was going to have to be enough. It was better than having never met him at all. He couldn’t let go of his swan.

Extra:

*a few days into them living together*

Danny on the phone: So yeah I’m living with Tim now.

Jazz on the other line: So he’s your boyfriend? You could have just said that Danny.

Danny blushing furiously: N-no!

Jazz: Danny… from what you’ve told me, you live together, you eat together, you do laundry together, he knows your past, you know his…. you sleep in the same bed!

Danny: I- well- the new one hasn’t come in yet and before that it was only sometimes!

Jazz: Uhuh. And denial is a river in Egypt.

Danny: Jazz….

Jazz: Daniel the man has a tracker in your ear! So, what did you decide to call him?

Danny: *blushing profusely* I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Jazz: You can’t hide from me. I know your brain Daniel Fenton! He has a nickname for you so obviously you came up with one for him.

Danny: Fine… he’s… my Swan.

Jazz: ….. (processing) …. (Google searching the meaning)…. (Reading) …. Danny you are so insufferably corny. I hope you know that.

Danny smiling: He reminds me all the time.

Jazz smiling wider: Uhuh.

Danny, working as a cashier: Can I help you?

Tim half-deranged: Please I just want a cup of coffee

Danny squinted, then pulled out a binder: I'm sorry, sir, but you are on the Don't Serve Coffee list. I can offer you some tea instead-

Tim: NO. THIS IS THE FIFTH PLACE. BRUCE CAN'T OWN YOU ALL!

Danny leaning in to whisper: Look, man, I can't give you coffee under the cameras. Meet me in the back alley in twenty minutes and I'll get you a coffee. Bring Cash.

Tim: how much? Five hundred, six hundred or hell even a thousand? I'll bring whatever you want.

Danny: Chill dude, it's a cup of coffee. Three dollars is fine.

Tim: It's not just any coffee! It's my favorite brand and Bruce bought them out just to make sure they wouldn't sell to me anymore!

Danny: okay okay, this coffee means a lot to you. I get it. Twenty minutes alright?

Jason three weeks later in Bat cave: Tim's on drugs! I've caught him trading cash for small containers in a shady alley six times. We need an intervention.

Dick: What?! I thought that was his boyfriend!

Bruce: I also thought that was Tim boyfriend but if it's a drug dealer we have to help him.

Tim hiding in the shadows: shit.

Tim texting Danny: If anyone asks your my secret boyfriend who been making me teas in allies

Danny: who the hell would believe that? But I've had a boring week, so yeah, I'm down to be a pretend boyfriend.

[stoopidpigeonxx]

How do you think the mouthwashing men (The tuplar crew but just the men) would react to their s/o giving them morning head 😏

OHOHOOOOOOO!! I like the way you think nonnie 😏

NSFW!!!

Curly

-hes probably used to it, because its hard not to be freaky for him. -It catches him off guard, ESPECIALLY if he's still really sleepy. -His hand probably automatically clings to your hair. Its a reflex. -Lazy hip thrusting into your mouth.... ngh -groaning and whining praise to you, although hes mostly mumbling bc, its like 6:00 in the morning.. -Loud groan/cry thing when he comes, and he just.. collapses. Poor guy. -"Hff.. what a fuckin' wake up call.. I think I'm gonna skip breakfast. I know what I want to eat." -eats you out for a couple hours then y'all shower together. its cheesy and cute.

Jimmy

-bro is a dead sleeper. -you'd have to physically shake him awake. -but of course he's gonna notice his dick getting sucked. -at first is shocked, like 'wtf are you doing', adrenaline and all. -but upon realizing its you and feeling your lips around his cock, he relaxes. -gives you a few pats on the head. Other than that, lets you do your thing. -hes still gotta have some control, though, so he grabs your chin to make you swallow. -"Christ, doll.. if you wanted my cock so bad you coulda asked." -man cums and then passes back out. -Doesn't offer to return the favor unless you remind him.

Swansea

-i don't know how you could suck him off when he snores like a fucking beast, but hey, I don't judge. -takes him a little bit to wake up, but when he does, its a pleasant surprise. -tries to question it but just kinda... lets you do it. -may pat your head when he's feeling really good. -takes him a while, but hey. That's fine. -will scoop you up afterwards for much-needed love.

Daisuke

-holy shit, he might bust. -hes a light sleeper, so the instant your tongue hits his clit he's awake. -(trans daisuke, y'all.) -you have to physically hold his legs apart from how much he's arching. -bro is weeping. -went from 'augh mimimi' to 'god yes don't stop please I'm gonna cum.' -Whiny boy!! -after he comes (which isn't long) he'll lay on your chest and yaps for an hour.

[secretl1fe0fm3]

can’t take it back once it’s been set in motion ~ matty healy

this is slightly inspired by my favorite ovulation song; oxytocin by billie eilish :P (also this is my first one shot so please be nice!!)

warnings: smut, inexperienced!reader, service top!matty, slight power imbalance, excessive use of the word ‘love’, matty going down soft sound, aftercare, soft(ish) dom!matty, sub!reader.

18+ minors dni!!!

3k+ words

You sigh lightly as your phone lights up your pitch black room, mocking your current state of insomnia. You had set it down over an hour ago to try and force yourself to sleep, but even with a lack of the blue light, you were still wide awake. Sitting up, you reach for your phone and notice an unknown number calling you. Already being unable to sleep, you decide to entertain whoever could possibly be calling you at this hour. Ultimately, deciding to answer.

“Hello?” You speak slowly and softly, still somewhat tired despite being unable to sleep.

“Thank god you answered.” Said the voice, relieved, on the other end of the line.

“Matty?” You could recognize that voice anywhere, even though you were seventy percent sure you were hallucinating right now.

“Im sorry to bother you at this hour, love. I need your help.” Matty breathes out, his voice sounding rushed. You groan to yourself, barely audible. You and Matty had been friends for years, meeting through a mutual friend, but you haven’t heard from him in almost two years until now. He practically ghosted your friendship when he found himself in a new, yet toxic relationship. But, based on the headlines you had read the other day scrolling twitter, they had finally called it quits.

Sitting up, you put your phone on speaker, and sit it in your lap. “Matty, what the fuck do you need?” You’re pissed, but your voice not showing any more than a slight annoyance.

“I need you to come pick me up, take me back to mine. My buddies dragged me out with them to get over, well, you know. Long story short, they are all shit-faced, none of them fucking coherent, and my god damn car service app isn’t working.” He sounds genuinely stressed. “My phones about to die as well, which is bloody fucking fantastic.” Matty grumbles into the phone.

You sit there, momentarily debating your options. You could leave him there, make him figure his shit out on his own. But you also have a soft spot for him after everything, knowing, if anything, he’s not the same person who deserted your friendship a few years ago. A deliberate exhale leaves your mouth, choosing the latter.

“Yeah, okay. Just text me your location before your phone dies. I’ll be there soon.” You hear him start to thank you, but you hang up quickly, not letting him get another word out. Deciding to keep your satin pajama shorts and bra on, you throw a hoodie over and slide on your sneakers. Groaning while grabbing your car keys off the kitchen island, you set off to your car, driving to Matty’s current location.

As you pull up to the bar, you recognize Matty leaning up against the wall, taking a long drag of his cigarette. Nothing has changed. You also notice none of his friends are anywhere to be seen. Odd. Driving up next to where Matty is standing, you roll down your window and his eyes catch yours.

“Long time no see, love.” Matty’s lips twist up into a smirk. Nothing. Has. Fucking. Changed. You watch him stub out his cigarette on the brick wall and toss it into the trash can by him. He climbs into your car shortly after. “Missed your face, thanks for coming to get me.”

Letting out an immediate scoff at his nonchalant behavior, you decide to ignore his comment. “So, Im taking you back to yours, right?”

You feel Matty’s eyes rake over your body, burning into your skin. You can smell some alcohol on him, though you know he’s not a big drinker, only having a glass or two of wine usually, and choosing to stick to his cigarettes or weed. He’s not drunk, so why is he looking at you like that.

“Of course, love.” He speaks lowly, eyes still stuck on you. You decide to disregard his use of the pet name and put your car into drive, pulling off onto the main road.

The drive to Matty’s house was maybe fifteen minutes at most, and yet it felt like an eternity with his eyes fixed on you. It’s almost like he couldn’t believe you actually came to pick him up, not being able to come to terms that you were finally seeing each other after two years.

Pulling up to Matty’s house brought back so many memories, and important moments you two had shared over the years of your friendship. His driveway led you to his front door, as you put your car in park, you finally glance over at Matty, who’s staring attentively. Under the glow of the exterior lights on his house, you notice he’s wearing tight black jeans, a dark belt, blank tank top, and a satin dress shirt. His long curly hair is slicked back slightly, with his sunglasses sitting on top of his head.

“Like what you see?” Matty implies cockily, eyes never leaving yours.

“It’s a fucking Monday.” You glare at him. “Why were you out on a fucking Monday, don’t you think you’re too old for this bullshit?” Continuing to ignore his playful comments, you squint your eyes at him, crossing your arms over your chest. You slightly feel bad for picking arguments with him, but his remarks are starting to make you feel some type of way.

Matty laughs out loud at your comment, the sudden deep laugh makes you jump a bit. “Lighten up a bit, love.” He nudges his elbow into your arm. You continue to frown at him, clearly not finding anything amusing. Matty falls silent, realizing how upset you actually are. “Look, why don’t you come inside? I can make you some tea, and we could watch a movie like old times?” He wiggles his eyebrows at you, waiting on an answer.

Your eyes bore into his. “Fine.” Turning off your car, you and Matty step out, walking up to his front door. He unlocks his door and steps to the side, motioning for you to come in. You take off your sneakers and set them on the mat, walking over to his living room and sitting down on his massive couch. He joins you promptly, sitting right next to you, a little too close for the amount of spots he could’ve picked from.

“Still a little bratty? Huh?” He asks casually, not once looking up at you as he turns on his TV.

“Excuse me?” Your eyes widen at his sudden judgement.

“Bratty. You’ve always been a little brat, love. It’s cute, though. Never minded it. Some things just never change.” He chuckles to himself, shaking his head.

Can’t take it back once it’s been set in motion

Your mouth is agape, taken aback by his words, struggling to make a counter remark.

“I see no one’s ever tried putting you in your place yet.” Matty hums absentmindedly, setting the remote down and glancing over at your shocked face.

You know I love to rub it in like lotion.

Pink flushes on your cheeks and neck as you stare at him with wide eyes, unsure of what to say next. "I- what?" You stumble over your words, mouth suddenly dry.

Matty moves closer, invading any personal space you were clinging onto. His hand falls on your thigh, squeezing as he keeps his eyes locked on yours. "Oh, you heard me loud and clear, love. Don't play stupid now." He whispers, eyes flickering to your lips momentarily.

You lose the ability to speak, eyes unable to leave his. "Matty-" He cuts you off.

"C'mon darling, I saw how you were looking at me in the car, and how eager you were to come pick me up tonight, even after all this time"

I can see it clear as day.

The blush on your cheeks deepens as you feel his hot breath fan across your skin, creating goosebumps up your arms. You grab onto his forearm, putting your other hand on his chest, trying to keep a small distance between you two. Matty was very attractive, you couldn't deny it. But your inexperience was making you hesitate, unsure of how to handle his advances.

Before you could react, Matty reached his hand out and placed it on your cheek, the other still resting on your thigh, squeezing tighter than before. His face was only centimeters away from yours as he breathes out, "Tell me to stop and I will. But you don't want me too, do you, love?"

You don't really need a break.

You close your eyes tightly, feeling flustered at his words. A warmth growing in your stomach, an unfamiliar feeling. You think about pushing him off, but your body ached for him, not wanting to stop this. Without any more hesitation, you look back up at him, shaking your head slowly, an invitation for him to continue.

Wanna see what you can take.

At your permission, Matty crashes his lips against yours, moving the hand that was on your cheek down to your neck. You let out a small gasp at the contact. He takes this as a chance to deepen the kiss, taking up every part of your mouth with his. The grip on your thigh moves up, closer to your heat. His fingers play with the hem of your pajama shorts, pushing them up slightly, almost exposing your underwear. You let out a pathetic whine as he breaks the heated kiss.

"God, Ive wanted to do this for years, you have no idea." Matty grumbles out as he pulls off your hoodie swiftly, pushing you down to lay back against the arm rest. He hovers over you, pulling down your satin shorts slowly, eyes never breaking contact from yours. "You're so fucking pretty baby, my perfect girl." You blush at his words, letting out a soft groan. Feeling like a prey under the gaze of a predator, you fix your eyes on the ceiling, unable to look at him.

You should really run away.

Matty notices this, and reaches his hand out to grab at your chin, directing your attention back to him. "Don't you dare look away, keep your eyes on me, yeah?"

Your eyes meet his again, his pupils blown with lust. He looks at you with a stern look, asserting his dominance as you nod silently. Matty smirks at your obedience, and starts rubbing small circles on your heat. You moan louder this time at the friction, pushing your hips up against his hand.

Other people wouldn't stay. Other people don't obey.

"That's right, love. Does that feel good? Do you want more?" Matty's eyes stay trained on yours. You feel small under his gaze, yet enjoying how he towers over you, his chain dangling in front of your face. You clench your legs together as his fingers rub at your clit, growing wetter by the second.

Your stomach starts to tighten, already close to an orgasm. "Im close, please, I can't." You cry out, throwing your head back on the arm rest.

His fingers suddenly disappear from your clit, and you cry out from the sudden loss.

"Do I need to repeat myself? I told you to keep your eyes on me, yeah? Be a good girl for me, darling." Matty reiterates, moving his other hand up to your neck again, applying pressure but not fully cutting off your airway.

You nod feverishly, not wanting him to stop again. Your eyes pleading for forgiveness. Matty chuckles and reaches his hand back down, his fingers barely grazing your clit again as he pulls your underwear down your thighs, exposing your wet cunt to him. The cold air against your core makes you shudder, the contrast in temperature sending a wave of pleasure up your spine.

Matty watches your reaction intently, reveling in how it doesn't take much to get you worked up. He releases your neck from his grip and places his lips against your neck, searching for your pulse point. You expose your neck more, giving him silent permission to continue.

I wanna do bad things to you.

"God, you really are a desperate thing, aren't you love? Tell me where you want me." He murmurs into your neck, planting kisses and bites around the sensitive area as he rubs tight circles on your clit. You flush at his words, letting out a whimper.

"Anywhere, please." You beg him, jerking your hips up to create more friction again. He lets out a soft chuckle into your neck at this.

"Your wish is my command, darling." Matty smirks and pulls away from your neck. He begins to move down your body, trailing kisses until he reaches your cunt. He breathes out onto your heat, then swiftly attaches his lips to your clit, sucking hard. You cry out from the new feeling, body squirming with pleasure.

Matty hums against your pussy at the cry you let out, creating a vibrating sensation. Your hands grip at his head, your fingers curling into his hair and pulling. You keep your eyes on him as he flicks his tongue against your clit repeatedly, mouth hanging open in a silent moan.

"So fucking perfect for me." He mumbles, wrapping his hands around your legs, keeping them wide open for him. His tongue teases your tight hole, licking thick stripes wherever he could reach before his attention is drawn back to your clit, sucking persistently.

Your back arches off the couch, fingers gripping at his hair and pulling hard. "Matty, fuck, Im gonna come, fuck-" You stumble over your words, feeling your stomach tighten at his continued abuse against your cunt.

Matty pulls away momentarily, "Go ahead, darling. Be a good girl for me and come on my tongue, yeah?" He picks up speed, mercilessly sucking and circling his tongue on your pussy.

I wanna make you yell.

Your legs clench together, affectively trapping him against your core as your body tenses up. You throw your head back, letting out an obscenely loud moan as you feel your orgasm wash over your body. Your hips buck up into his mouth, feeling even more wetness pool where his mouth is. Matty moans against your cunt, sending aftershocks from your orgasm straight to your heat again.

"You taste fucking unbelievable, love." He grunts out, making sure to swallow every last bit of your orgasm. Your body twitches from overstimulation as he finishes cleaning you up with his tongue.

Matty pulls away, his lips soaked with your fluids. You look at him with heavy eyes, feeling almost drunk from your orgasm. He looks almost as wrecked as you. You are about to sit up and reach for him when you glance down and realize he's still hard, but he stops you.

"I know you're tired. You don't have to finish me off. Another time, okay?" Matty speaks lowly, keeping eye contact with you as he stands up and grabs a blanket from the basket near the coffee table. He sits on the edge of the couch next to you, wrapping you up in the fluffy blanket. You blink up at him, exhaustion washing over your body.

Matty stares down at you, giving you a look filled with an emotion you couldn't quite pinpoint. You sigh out, feeling his body press up next to yours. He pulls you into his arms tightly, brushing his fingers through your hair.

"Thank you for that." You admit your appreciation shyly, a content smile on your lips.

Matty grins down at you, "Of course, love. Anything for you." He runs his fingers through your hair, brushing the strands out of your face. Your eyes flutter shut, unable to fight the sleep coming over you this time.

[starlemons]

Coffee and Crime ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ PART THREE

Pairing ✦ mafia!bucky x reader

Word Count ✦ 1.2K

Warnings ✦ overall story has a 18+ content warning, MDNI, mention of hospitals/emergency rooms, honestly pretty fluffy, cussing

A/N ✦ i've been on a writing streak the last few days, i'm already working on part four, hopefully should post it by tomorrow :)

PART TWO »»» Series Masterlist

I will update the series every 1-4 days depending on my schedule

You felt like absolute shit. Your whole body ached and waves of nausea flowed through you. Slowly you lifted your heavy eyelids and looked around. Nat, Clint, Thor, and Wanda all sat around you as you laid in a hospital bed. 

“Y/N’s awake.”, Wanda said to the others. 

Everyone looked towards you. 

“How you feeling?”, Clint asked.

“Awful.”, you groaned, “What the fuck even happened?”

Your memories of the previous night were a blur. The group looked around to each other silently debating who would fill you in.

“Do you remember anything?”, Nat questioned.

“I remember up to when we were on the dance floor but after that, nothing.”

Nat relayed the previous night's events to you, adding details of what happened after you blacked out. Like the fact that Bucky had personally driven you and Nat to the emergency room, and slipped one of the nurses a couple hundred to make sure you got the best treatment possible. 

“He also had me give him your phone number so he could check up on you.”

Internally you lit up, thrilled at the thought of the handsome man caring about your wellbeing. However, something cut through your mind, temporarily interrupting your joy.

“Did he get in trouble for fighting that guy?”

“There was no way in hell that guy was going to be calling the cops after what he tried to do to you so no trouble there and Bucky can’t get in trouble with the club seeing as he owns it.”, Nat said, “I found that out on our drive to the hospital because I had the same thought as you.”

Your brain was trying to process all of the information you had just been given, almost feeling overwhelmed by it.

A soft knock on the door turned all of your attention that way. A blonde nurse in baby blue scrubs was leaning her shoulder against the door as she opened it, a large vase of pink roses and tulips clutched in her hands.

“Miss (Y/L/N), these just got delivered for you.”, she smiled at you.

Thor stood and retrieved the flowers from her. Setting them down on the thick window ledge, he plucked the card from the stand it sat on, and handed it to you. You opened the envelope shakily, your body was still not fully recovered from last night. 

Hey Sweetheart, Let me know when you get out of the hospital, I sent you a text so you have my number. Hope you’re okay. I’m here if you need anything ━ Bucky

Your face blossomed with a blush.

“Who are they from?”, Clint asked.

With a wide grin you responded, “Bucky.”

A few hours later and the emergency room doctors finally cleared you to go home. Your friends helped you gather your belongings, Clint and Wanda telling you goodbye as you guys reached the parking lot. Thor kindly gave you and Nat a ride back home to your apartment.

After dropping you guys off he yelled from his car window, "Bye guys! Love you both!"

"Bye Thor, we love you too!", you and Nat yelled back to him as you continued up the sidewalk and into your apartment building.

After you crossed the threshold of your home, you immediately headed to your bedroom.

“I’m going to go shower and get this hospital smell off of me.”, you told Nat.

“Okay, let me know if you need anything, I’ll be out here watching TV.”

Entering your room, you immediately shed your dress from the previous night, tossing it into your dirty clothes hamper. You dug through your dresser selecting a pair of baggy grey sweats and one of your favorite oversized shirts.

After grabbing your clothes you head to your bathroom. Entering, you set your outfit and phone down on the sink, going to turn your shower on. You twist the hot water knob to the on position, the sound of trickling water filling the room.

You moved back to the counter grabbing your phone. As you unlocked it you saw a text from a number you didn’t have saved.

UNKOWN: Let me know when you’re back home, I’ve been worried about you. 

UNKOWN: This is Bucky btw. 

You smiled, saving his name in your phone, and shot him back a text.

Y/N: I’m back home, still not feeling amazing, but I’ll survive. Thank you for the flowers, they’re beautiful.

Bucky quickly sent you a response. 

BUCKY: I hoped they might cheer you up a bit.  Y/N: They definitely did. Also thank you for last night, I appreciate it more than you know. 

The typing bubble popped up and disappeared several times. You closed out of your messages, opening your music streaming app and turning on your favorite playlist. Locking your phone you set it back down on the counter and stepped into the shower. 

You felt some of the tension in your back slowly fade as warm water trickled down your body. After relaxing in the hot water for what you deemed long enough, you began to wash yourself, scrubbing a little too hard, trying to get the smell of the hospital off of you as well as the metaphorical feeling of Caleb's hands.

Once you felt that you were sufficiently clean, you grabbed a light green towel off the wall, wrapping it around your body. 

You reached for your phone again.

BUCKY: I’m just glad you're safe.

You saw that several minutes had passed in between that text and the following ones he sent.

BUCKY: Go to dinner with me? BUCKY: Only if you want to of course. I don’t want you to think you have to say yes just because I helped you yesterday. 

‘Men that respect boundaries are so hot’, you thought to yourself.

Y/N: Of course, I would really like that. 

You set your phone down again. Drying your hair and doing your skincare. After you finished, you exited the bathroom and flopped down onto your fluffy pink comforter. Exhaustion started taking over you and you crawled under your blankets, snuggling into your pillows.

Your phone buzzed beside your head.

BUCKY: Let me know when you’re free next, I have the perfect place we can go. Y/N: I’m going to take a nap, but when I wake up I’ll check my schedule and see what days I’m not doing anything.  Bucky: Perfect, sleep well sweetheart, ttyl.

You smiled softly, butterflies forming in your stomach. 

You reached for your TV remote, turning on a show to play as background noise while you slept. Your eyes closed, feeling very heavy and within minutes you were asleep.

Nat eventually came into your room and woke you up, letting you get a five hour nap in. She had made the two of you dinner, spaghetti and garlic toast. Your stomach grumbled loudly at the thought of food. Laughing, you followed her into the kitchen.

You pulled up your calendar on your phone, seeing when your next day off was, and texting the information to Bucky.  

Y/N: Just looked and my next day off is Tuesday. BUCKY: I’ll pick you up at 7? Y/N: That works for me :) I’ll send you my address.

After texting him your address you put your phone away, enjoying your dinner with your roommate as you guys watched TV. The two of you made it through several episodes of your show, before Nat started yawning, saying she was going to head to bed. You both went to the kitchen, rising your dishes and headed down the hall into your respective rooms.

You fell asleep, bubbling with excitement over your upcoming date with Bucky.

PART FOUR

I AM OPENING A TAGLIST FOR THIS STORY LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT ADDED!

[midnightwind]

you guys like me going off on random DA tangents and musings, right?? because I've been awake too long so you're getting another one

I have been sat here trying to figure out Why Lucanis' prison looks like a bunch of ice and why it was so far away from the "lab" settings for a while now. (arguably two rooms fit this description, the one where Lucanis tells you about Zara and the one right outside his phylactery room) Like, even without that bridge being broken, it's in such a bizarre corner of the Ossuary. And I mean, it wouldn't really matter with a normal prisoner, but Lucanis was a notorious Crow and mage killer on top of that, plus he was Zara's special little guy to fuck with. You would not want to take him for a long walk to experience the worst shit on earth every few days. Maybe it's close enough to the little room where he mentions Zara and maybe she wanted him close to the door so she didn't have to go far to torture him, but again, leaving such a challenging subject close to the exit seems like a bad choice. You want him to have to get through so many guys and doors before escaping so you have time to take him down.

This also ignores the magic required to leave, but they're not clear on what that is and not all the Venatori are mages so there's gotta be a mundane way out he could snatch off a guard. I digress, the whole ice cage and far off room doesn't make sense. But we know they were shipping demons to Zara. (I'm pretty sure the few demons you confront in Minrathous were Zara's little pets set loose so we can assume she wanted them in the capital for the eventual Venatori coup on the crown) If Zara was about to be stuck in Minrathous for the foreseeable future, setting things into motion for Elgar'nan, I could see her wanting her pet Crow at her side. Especially if you consider the initial idea for Lucanis: he was going to be a mind controlled murder puppet before you break him out.

Sure, Spite didn't crack open his ribcage and crawl out like some new horror, but having a demon in Lucanis lets her control him via the phylactery if not just outright with her blood magic. Maybe his will was too strong for mundane control, but the phylactery works. We know it works based off of Lucanis' dialogue about it. So we know she had a surefire way to keep him under control. (There's a whole other post exploring the amount of dead Venatori and the fact that Lucanis still has his leathers and weapons [which would make sense if he was Zara's murder puppet, but alas] and whether Lucanis recently made a break for it or if the loose demons/spirits/undead killed them all) Maybe he kept his leathers because Zara wanted him presentable upon delivery, I don't know.

But I do think he was being prepped to move. The Ossuary is falling apart, Zara is pulling all the best results, they're losing personnel and servants without being given more; Zara was clearly moving on from that location. But she wanted her little Antivan prize. He's too dangerous to move normally, a Crow is likely to escape if given an inch especially a skilled one like Lucanis, so they need to lock him down somehow. Ropes and chains aren't reliable, not with a Crow, but he's not a mage. You can use magic. You can literally put him on ice. I think they were packaging him up in an ice cube and doing it next(ish) to the door so they could more easily move him. I think Zara was going to take him and his phylactery to Minrathous and use him to cause some absolutely ruthless mayhem in the city before her cult took it over.

I think Rook showing up weakened the spell being cast just enough for Lucanis and Spite to break out, and I think it saved a whole lot of lives.

[honeyxbunny99]

Sandor Clegane~ The Bitch and The Hound pt.13

Anna shook you gently awake and you made a pout and a soft whimper escaped at the harsh reality break away from Sandor.

“The first house we see we’re going in it.” The man of your dreams spoke, already on his horse.

“Good morning.” You replied sarcastically, standing up and turning to face him, body still stiff from slumber. “And what if there’s someone inside the house?”

“That’s shit for him then I suppose.”

You barely had to help Anna onto her horse and afterward you began your approach to Stranger. “And if it’s a family? Don’t you think most single men are off in this war, dead or alive. We’re far more likely to come upon the family he left behind.” You proposed, securing your foot in the stirrup and attempting to smoothly mount Stranger with Sandor in the way. His hand graced your lower back as you swung your leg around and your heart beat quickened.

“Shit for them then.” He said as you adjusted yourself against his lap, and he tried not to let it excite him. You turned your head to look at him disapprovingly. “You don’t mean to just take someone’s home.”

“I do, and if they’re stupid enough to fight about it, I mean to kill ‘em.” He grinned, showing off his teeth.

You looked him up and down, mouth opening and shutting wordlessly before you turned around again with a sigh. What could you possibly say to him? Stranger began his stride away from the woods and you began to think.

Without turning around, you asked, “Do you really love killing?”

“That’s what they say, isn’t it?”

“Yes, that’s what they say… I’m asking what you say.”

“Yes.” He answered simply.

“Would you kill anybody?” “You’ve got someone in mind?” “Well no, I mean.. Anybody in a broader sense. Women, children, your family?”

“Suppose I already have.” Your heart sank at the thought.

“Would you do it again?..”

“If I need to… Anyone that stands against me must wish for death. And if we ever cross paths with my brother it’s my intention to kill him, or die trying.”

“You can’t say that.” You shook your head.

“I can and I will.” “Sandor we need you. You’re forbidden to die.”

He chuckled behind you. “Tell that to The Mountain. Even if he doesn’t have orders for it already, he’ll want to come teach his baby brother a lesson… If we cross paths with him I don’t think there’s anything you or I could say that would stop his cleaver coming down on my head.”

You cringed and turned slightly to catch a glimpse of him. “Has your brother always been evil?”

“What’s the start of all this anyways? Is this about that boy?”

“Boy?” The realization hit you as soon as the word left your mouth. “Charlie?” You faced forward again, uncomfortable with him seeing you all of a sudden.

“The one you love.” “I-“ you furrowed your brows and saw that Anna was listening to your conversation. “I do love him…” You said honestly.

“You’re wondering if I’d kill your boy if he’d got in the way.”

“I wasn’t… I try not to think about him at all, I’m sure you can understand that, being that you watched him die too.”

Sandor did not say anything for a long while and you tried to focus on the rolling hills to distract yourself. “Who was he to you?”

You bit the inside of your cheek and closed your eyes, concentrating your breathing. “He was a great man..”

“He was a boy.” You shook your head. “He was both.. He was brave and kind, and bratty and..” you smiled softly back at Anna when you noticed she must have been reflecting on her own memories of him. “And he lived a very unfair life, and he died a very unfair death because of me… He should never have come back for me.”

“Why did he come?” “He decided we were leaving; us and Anna. I’m not sure how much of a plan there was after that,” you smiled a little, “he was a servant who’d spent his whole life in King’s Landing— didn’t know anywhere else, but he had enough sense in him to leave and take the people that he loved with him…”

You contemplated why Sandor was asking about him, if not only to deter from talking about his terrifying brother. The one you love, who was he to you? He’s jealous. “It wasn’t romantic if that’s what you’re wondering… Though I suppose in the end it wouldn’t have mattered anyways, huh? He was too young to love, I thought… Though he must have felt it in some way because he saved my life over and over again.. The only things he ever asked of me were to keep living, and to grant him a kiss. I fulfilled one wish, I intend to make my life count for him too.”

You looked back at Sandor to see his mouth twisted into a confused frown. “It’s a love like the one I feel for Anna. Trust, compassion, connection, feeling like you want to care for each other, make them feel safe and loved. Haven’t you ever loved someone like that? Your mother, or a best friend?” ~Haven’t you ever loved someone?~

“No.”

The simple word felt piercing. You continued on as if you weren’t devastated that he could not comprehend the feeling. “It’s probably the only love I’ll allow myself to feel ever again.” You looked at Anna, who was still watching you, tight-lipped in disappointment. “It’d be much safer to never love again, but I think I have a great capacity for it. I will always have some sort of love in my heart for my family, my friends, you.”

You swallowed the anxious lump in your throat. “I meant it back then when I said it to you… I know you think I’m some stupid girl, with fantasies of knights taking up space over logic, but it was true then. I’d never felt anything that strongly before, so I know it was love… But once was enough. The consequences of my heart being so open were enough to have closed it up to that kind of love ever again… So thank you for giving me that opportunity, and thank you for saving me… I hope you can learn to trust me, and that we can be allies from here on out. No more grudges.”

After your speech went unanswered, you blushed and began to play with strangers mane. “And I’ll stop talking now..”

~

It wasn’t much longer before Anna spotted a house and drew your attention to it. The three of you slowed, and you looked to Sandor for direction.

“It’s good.” He nodded, dismounting. “Stay with the horses.” He instructed. “But—“

“I don’t know how I can make it any clearer, woman.”

He began his stride without ever looking back. Your nerves intensified the closer he got to the house. You twisted the reins in your hands and chewed your lip, glancing at Anna and praying the home was empty. Sandor entered through the front door, sword drawn, and to your horror, only seconds later you heard a woman’s scream. The children were the first to stumble out, their mother close behind them, looking like she’d seen a monster. Sandor must have been searching the house as the mother held her children close, cowering on the grass. “My baby, please! My baby!”

Her cries pushed you over the edge and as you saw Sandor emerge with his sword still drawn, you grabbed the reins tightly and kicked the horse to drive you forward.

“Stop!” You begged, hoping you could stop the horse as Sandor always had. Sandor turned to look at you in shock and his sword even dropped a little. Stranger stopped roughly and you clenched your thighs to hold on. You were breathless with fear but when you saw Sandor up close you watched him roll his eyes and his stance became casual.

“You have a baby in there?” You asked the woman, who was beet red and had tears dripping off her jaw. She held her kids, a boy and a girl, closer to her chest, but the boy tried to step forward.

“It’s my brother!” He tried to be brave, but you could see the fear in his eyes.

You looked to Sandor again for confirmation, and he blinked slowly, as if disappointed, and nodded. You heard very faint wailing begin inside the home and your heart sank.

“Please don’t hurt us! Please don’t hurt my baby!” The mother trembled in horror, pulling her son back by his shirt.

“We’re not going to hurt you.” You assured. “We’ve got to find somewhere else. These children won’t make it to any town.”

Sandor’s eyes scanned across your face and then the faces of the family, and the crying from within the home intensified. You withheld a huff and walked up to him, placing yourself between him and the children. “Please, Sandor. Let’s keep going.” You pleaded with your eyes. He sheathed his sword and took a step toward the home.

“We’re staying here tonight.” He looked at you sternly before softening. “They can stay too.” You breathed a sigh of relief and turned to them to offer a smile. “Come and shut that baby up.” He said when he disappeared from your view.

The mother rushed in and you signaled to Anna to come down. Grabbing Stranger’s reins to tie him to the side of the home, you were alarmed to find the little boy right behind you. “You gonna kill us?” He asked. He couldn’t have been older than 7 or 8.

“No, we’re—.. We just need food and a place to sleep. We won’t hurt you if you don’t hurt us.”

“Yeah well you better be gone tomorrow. That’s when my dad’s coming home, and he’ll slice the lot of you. He doesn’t care if anyone’s bigger than him, he’s not scared of anything. You’ll see tomorrow!” He threatened before running off to find his mother.

You weren’t sure whether telling The Hound about this threat would help or hinder your situation. It was still midday; you were sure you could find another home before sundown. Your stomach growled and you heard the sound of brutish hands rummaging about in the kitchen. Tomorrow, we have to be gone tomorrow.

You entered the small home with Anna and were hit with a wave of nostalgia for your own upbringing. It was humble, darker than you expected, with its windows all boarded up, but it had food and drink on display and a fireplace to keep warm at night.

“Excuse me, sir, th-that’s my husbands…” the mother spoke up, bouncing her child in her arms.

Sandor continued to chug down a bottle of liquor and when he pulled it from his lips he smiled. “He’s not here, is he? And we’re your guests… You’d do well to keep your trap shut or you can all take your chances sleeping outside.”

Part of you wanted to argue with Sandor, but an indecent part of you knew that he was right. Her husband wasn’t here, and any chance you had to stay out of sight and get food in your bellies would be stupid not to take. Sandor was being generous to let them be so close to us, knowing they could attack or report.

“Make us a meal, woman.” He commanded.

Her eyes held spite but she still handed the baby off to her daughter and entered the kitchen with him. You tried to distract yourself from the hostile situation by trying to put the girl at ease. She sat in a rocking chair by the cold fireplace and watched you like a hawk as you sat down across from her on the floor.

“You’re very good with him..” you commented softly, and she looked at the baby in her arms. “I never wanted a brother… My father stunk so bad sometimes I thought that was just the fate of all boys.” You looked over at Sandor, who was resting his feet on the kitchen table and leaning back with his bottle, watching the woman work. “I think that I was right.” You turned up your nose and made a face and when you looked back at her she was trying to conceal a smile. “But you’re already used to having a brother, huh? An older brother, right?”

She nodded shyly. “I bet he’s protective over you. That might be nice to have, even if they stink.” “Is that your brother?” She looked to The Hound. You smiled and shook your head.

“He’s my hero.. Like a knight but better. You see his armor?” She nodded. “It’s all dirty because of what he had to do to save me… My friend Anna and I were locked up by some very bad men, and he didn’t like that so he had to kill them. He doesn’t want to be scary and mean but sometimes that’s what has to be done. But he won’t hurt you; we’re just gonna go to sleep here and then in the morning we’ll be gone, okay?”

She seemed to be sorting through questions in her mind as she looked at you. “My father has to kill people. He only kills bad people though, people that want to hurt us.” “Is he fighting in the war right now?” She nodded. “Yes but mama says only for a little while longer, and then he can come home and meet the baby.”

You smiled softly. “What’s the baby’s name?”

“Robert.” “That’s a nice name—“

“It’s my father’s name.” The boy surprised you again, having come out of his room and stood behind you with his arms crossed.

“And your name?”

“Robert.” He furrowed his brows.

“All three of you?” You raised your expression in surprise.

“My name is Beth!” The girl chimed in drawing your attention again.

“Well I should hope so, you look a little too pretty to be named Robert.”

She smiled and bit her tongue to hold back a laugh.

“My name is (Y/n).” Beth’s eyes lit up and she gasped. “That’s my doll’s name!” “Shut up.” Robert said, clearly annoyed at how freely she was speaking to you now. “Take the baby!” She demanded, trying to stand up to hand him off. They argued like siblings until he rolled his eyes and took his baby brother, still glaring at you while Beth ran off to find her doll. “Here she is, (Y/n)! Isn’t she, mama, isn’t she called (Y/n)?!” She showed off her straw doll and the mother nodded at her with a nervous expression.

“Have you got a doll called Anna?” You asked, and Anna smiled. The little girl shook her head and you threw up your hands. “Well we’ll just have to make one then, won’t we?” The three of you raced outside and gathered as much straw as you could, dropped it on the table and crafted little dolls all afternoon. You asked Robert, still holding baby Rob, if he wanted to join you but he sneered. “Dolls are for girls.” “We could make one a soldier, like your father?”

He shook his head and walked away. None of you minded much, though, and you felt true happiness teaching Beth how to give her doll a skirt. You felt like a child again. The mother called for supper and you all cleared the table. You told Beth that she could have her chair back, but she insisted on sitting with you. The two of you shared the same seat, Sandor sat at the head of the table, the son across from you and Anna at your side. The mother went off with her baby into the bedroom to nurse and you tried to ignore the tension between Robert and Sandor as you ate. Beth pulled you by your neck down to whisper loudly in your ear. “He’s better than a knight?” She asked, and you blushed knowing the everyone at the table could hear. You nodded and looked at Sandor, willing him to be kind. Beth hopped off of the chair and brought her dolls to Sandor, holding them out to display. “This is (Y/n) and this is Anna.”

Your nails dug into your palm anxiously and you held your breath waiting for his response. Please be kind, please be kind.

Sandor looked at the sweet little girl’s face, and then at the dolls, taking them in his hands.

“They’re pretty.” He complimented, surprising you. “Can I keep this one?” He asked, pulling the doll with your name close to his chest. Beth quickly tried to snatch the dolls back and said, “No!.. If you want one you can have the one I messed up on.” He gave the dolls back and she rushed over to the living room to offer him the doll with one big arm and one small. “She hasn’t got a name so you can call her whatever.”

“Think I’ll call her Beth.” He nodded and her mouth gaped.

“My arm’s not messed up!” “No, but she’s about as big as you.” He joked and she smiled and skipped back over to your seat. She nodded at you and said quietly. “He’s funny.” “Sometimes.” You agreed, pleased with him.

“And smelly.” You smiled harder. “I think we’re all smelly.”

“Oh Robert, the hole!” Beth cheered, and Robert shook his head. “Yes!” She continued.

Anna and you exchanged curious looks.

“Father said not while he’s away.” “He’s been away, Rob! I’m asking mother.” She defied and ran off to her mom.

“What’s the hole?” You asked. Robert remained silent, glaring in Sandor’s direction.

“If you’re not gonna eat that, boy, you might as well take your sneer somewhere else.” Sandor grabbed meat off Robert’s plate and threw it onto his own.

“She said yes, she said we can go!” Beth came barreling down the hall. “Go where?” You frowned.

“The water hole! It’s not that deep and I can teach you how to swim, I’m really fast.”

“Beth, they’re big. They can just stand up, you idiot.” She stuck her tongue out at her brother and took your hand, and you in turn grabbed Anna’s to follow you. “A-Are you coming, Sandor?” You looked back as you were pulled away. He only looked down at his food. Beth led you for a long while and with each step you grew more and more anxious having left Sandor behind. “How much further is it?” “Just a little bit more.” She assured. Anna seemed to be unbothered, so you tried to relax as well. Finally you saw it. A beautiful pool of blue water crafted by stone. “Father built it when I was still in my mom’s tummy. It’s never cold!” She said excitedly. The little girl practically jumped in the water and eventually convinced you to brave it as well. Your main concern was your dress— you had no other clothes. But when Beth pouted up at you and splashed, you conceded. The two of you pulled Anna in as well and splashed around until the sun was nearly set.

The three of you began your journey back, Beth falling behind until you agreed to carry her on your back. “You think everything is alright back there?” You asked Anna, who gave you a less than convincing nod. As you marched on, you tried to focus on the feeling of the little girl resting on your back. You and your sister were close when she was this young, and it made you want to travel back in time to be with her like this. Or travel forward, you pondered. You considered what it would be like to have a daughter.

Duty would pull you to birth a son, an heir to a noble, and you had truthfully never considered for long the possibility of having a little girl of your own. You remembered your vow to never take another man, and sighed. Maybe in another life. Then you thought harder. You had consummated your marriage to Sandor. You had bled since then, but only for a day— highly unusual for you. Panic began to set in. At last you came upon Beth’s mother, waiting right outside the door with her child asleep in a cloth tied around her torso.

“What’s wrong with her?!” She worried, but you set her daughter down off of your back and she stumbled to find her footing.

“Nothing, she’s tired s’all. Thank you for trusting us, she had a lot of fun, I think…”

Beth rubbed her closed eyes and walked over to take her mother’s hand.

“Is everything alright in there?” You asked nervously.

“Seems to be… Have you got any other clothes?” She looked between Anna and you and you shook your heads shamefully. “Come on then.” She sighed.

She tucked her daughter into a large bed and began to dig through a dresser beside it. “Don’t have anything as nice as that..” she trailed off, and you shivered.

“Dry is all that matters to us.”

She handed you and Anna simple dresses and the two of you went outside to change. When you entered the home again you saw Sandor, bottle still in hand, but he had removed his armor and chainmail. “Must you drink all of her husband’s alcohol? She’s been kind to us…”

“She’s been compliant.” He argued. “Do you think she’d welcome us in if I didn’t have my sword? She’s afraid of us— of me at least.”

“Not everyone is cruel, Sandor.” “Aye, not everyone is cruel. But everyone is looking out for themselves. She’s got a family, she’s not gonna risk that for strangers. Make no mistake about it, it’s not kindness that keeps us in this house.”

Perhaps he was right.

“We’ll leave in the morning, yes?”

He thought for a moment. “Yes. We’ll have another long ride ahead of us…”

He approached you and you tried not to flinch when his hand came up to your face. It wasn’t out of fear, only surprise. His fingers stroked down a small lock of your wet hair right beside your cheek. Is he drunk?

“How was the water?” He asked, fingers lingering by your neck, knuckles barely brushing against your throat. Your eyes were wide at his actions, at the stark change in his tone, but you didn’t want him to stop the sweetness. “It was perfect… You should have come…”

Sandor was so close now that you could smell the booze on his breath but you did not cringe away from it. He tucked your hair behind your ear and laid a heavy hand on your shoulder. He took a step back, took another swig, and smirked. “Look like a proper mother in that dress.”

You smiled, embarrassed. “It’s the dress of a proper mother.” You picked up the sides of the dress and twirled it a bit. “What, you don’t like it? You prefer me dressed like a harlot?”

He took one more step back, smiled and scratched his beard. “Never seen you in anything I didn’t like… except maybe that sack of potatoes.”

You snickered and shoved past him. “Wait.” He grabbed your arm and you stilled. “You said you can keep watch?”

As tired as you were, you were pleased with this new responsibility— this new trust, and so you nodded.

“Keep a watch on that little fucker right there.” He nodded to Robert, who was sat on a chair in the corner, holding a large wooden rolling pin. You tried not to snicker at how serious the little boy looked. “Think he means to bash my skull in.”

“We wouldn’t want that.” You nodded again, and placed your hand over his on your arm. “Get some sleep.”

With that, he swayed off to Robert’s room and you heard the bed sink and creek with the weight of him flopping down on it. Anna started up the fire with fresh wood and the two of you sat up taking turns brushing through each other’s hair. You watched Robert doze off in the corner of your eye and smiled to yourself as the rolling pin dangled in one weak hand. Anna pulled some blankets from a cupboard and made herself a cot on the floor, falling asleep just as quickly as her head hit the ground.

You watched the fire until your eyes burned and then found one of the straw dolls you had made earlier that day. A child. Could it even be possible for you now?

“What are you doing here?” Came a voice, startling you into a gasp. “Gods!” You whispered, relaxing once you laid eyes on the mother. “You scared me…” you let the doll rest again on the table and walked back over to the fire. “I’m just keeping watch..”

“Someone hunting you? The royal guard, perhaps?” You hoped your anxiety didn’t reflect in your expression. “Never can be too careful..”

“That’s The Hound, isn’t it?” She approached, settling into her rocking chair, the baby still swaddled in her arms. “Face half melted… The King’s mad dog, now without a King.”

“You’re mistaken. We’re just passing through… I’m sorry we had to stumble upon you, we’ll be gone in the morning. Your son’s already told me you’re expecting your husband back and we don’t want—”

“My husband isn’t coming back.” She cut you off, eyes glazing over when she cast them to the fire. “He was sick… Getting worse every day. Nothing I knew to do was helping.. Robert left months ago. He said he didn’t want the children to watch him die, weak. So he told the children he was going off to fight in the war. A war that didn’t exist.” You glanced again at Robert to make sure he was still sleeping. She looked behind her at her son and sighed. “He misses his father every day. He’s the man of the house now, acts tough, but I know he’s scared. Today, he was scared… But you have control over him now, don’t you? The Hound?”

You furrowed your brows and shook your head a bit. “Nobody controls anybody.”

“Where are you heading?” You said nothing, only watched the shadow of the flames flicker on the floor.

“You don’t have to leave…” She surprised you. “I don’t want my son to be afraid anymore.” Her voice wavered. “He ought to grow up with a man, a proper man around. We need someone to hunt, to fix things… Beth adores you, I haven’t seen her smile like that in so long.. If you’re running from someone, you’ll be safe here. No one comes around.” She tried to persuade you. “You can settle here..”

You were so caught off guard by this conversation, you didn’t know what to say. She was asking you and Sandor to play house with her family.

“I understand your worries.. as much as I can… I think we have to be moving on though.”

She nodded and the two of you continued to sit in silence deep into the night. At one point, the baby stirred and she began to feed the child from her breast. “Did you know he was sick before you were pregnant?” You asked boldly. “No… He wanted to be in his life, but he got bad fast.. It’s the only time I’ve had to go through it alone. Bringing this baby into the world was the scariest thing I’ve ever experienced.”

You nodded. “Your first two were easier?.. Not too painful?”

Her brow furrowed and she smirked. “Oh, very painful… But worth it.”

You nodded again, looking down at your lap.

“I saw the blood in your clothes… Is that what you’re worried about?.. Did he take you?”

You shook your head and smiled softly. “No, no, he… Well, yes.. I don’t know how long it’s been.” You tried to reflect. “I started bleeding long after the last time, but it was different.” “How much blood?” She sat up, more invested in the conversation now.

“Same as always for the first day, but that’s all that it was. It just stopped.”

“Are your breasts sore?”

You shook your head but reached up and squeezed them to ensure you weren’t crazy. “No… I’m hungry though, and my mother said she knew she was going to have my sister when she bled for just a day.”

“Sweetheart, that bleeding is different. It’s very light, very light cramping, and you’re more tired than hungry.”

“Well I have been tired—“

She smiled knowingly and shook her head. “You’re not pregnant… Your bleeding likely stopped from stress, malnutrition.. You’re tired and hungry because you’ve been riding horseback for who knows how long. The Gods only give us what we can handle, child…”

You frowned at her but nodded just to dismiss the conversation. “You seem disappointed..?” She said, but you shook your head again. “Would you want a child?”

“I always knew I was supposed to have one, or two… That was my purpose; marry a nobleman and give him children— raise the standing of my family. It never really mattered if I wanted one or not…” You looked up at her. “After everything I’ve been through my answer should be no. It should be simple. But it isn’t..” you felt your emotions rise. “I think I would.. I think I do… It could be beautiful y’know, to bring something so small and good into this world.”

She nodded. “Would you want his child?”

A tear slipped down your cheek that you hadn’t even realized was brewing and you wiped it away and rolled your eyes at yourself. “It’s not like that anymore.”

“You’re not married?” She asked, and your head snapped right to her. “Did he—“

“He said you were his wife… I didn’t believe him until I saw the way you looked at him just before bed.”

“There is nothing in the way I look him.” You were stern. Never again would you be persecuted for having hearts in your eyes. “As you say.” She didn’t argue and you were grateful. ”You should rest.” You suggested, and she sighed and stood.

“Will you ask him about it? About sticking around?” She paused before rounding the corner into the room with her daughter. You agreed, dismissing her with a wave. When she was gonna you took a deep breath and laid back against the floor, hands on your empty stomach. You considered the safety the home might provide, the charm of the children, and the rest that Sandor and the horses so desperately needed. Maybe one day more.

Sandor watched you from the dark room and sank back down in the bed. It’s not like that anymore, you had said, but it could be, he thought.

[karinadele]

drabble on pharma x human reader

warnings: its pharma, everything is fucked

just me listing ideas and character traits so i can write...

Actions/Behaviors:

-would keep you on him at all times as if you were a pocket hamster

-600% will drug you

-preserving head and organs after you die

-mnemosurgery to pry into your brain and know everything (perhaps attempt a digital link with him so he's connected 24/7 like a sparkbond)

-physically consuming organs mainly heart/brain

-wants to cut you open while conscious to see your organs (will sew you back up after ofc) (will be sedated for no pain, but will be awake)

-propofol abuse? (maybe fuck you on and off it just to see how you react)

-will attempt to physically massage your heart in an attempt to maintain your heart rate. (and to have control over your life literally)

-would scarification his red cross on your chest (? horny tramp stamp? wow just thinking hurts)

-would withhold medication until you submit and beg (if you're too stubborn, he will slip just enough in without you knowing to keep you going)

oocs??:

-would poison you just to watch you suffer and then antidote you? (idk to make it where reader knows, or reader thinks it was a 3rd party. maybe pharma has gaslighted reader into thinking its external but always have an inkling?)

-would attempt to infuse you with energon/nucleon (if nucleon stops bots from transforming, what would it do to humans?)

-would try to forcibly physically put you in his spark

-would he remove limbs so you're stuck?? (i dont think so... but i do believe he will try to modify you)

-i want to see him use his chainsaw to engrave lines over reader? forming more blocky lines to resemble Cybertronians?

-probably drinks your blood, or at least taste it (maybe keep it in a vial in subspace at all time)

-permanent drug state?

-super ooc, i want to see him repaint/make reader repaint his autobot insignia with their blood

light analysis:

-pet names: dear, darling, occasionally love?? (not sweetspark??)

-ends sentences with "hmm?" / snarky

hmm? ah. tch tch, ah, ah! don't touch that! tongue clicking, lots of italics. (writing in his mind is hard...)

snarky, haughty, controlling, obsessive (to reader), does not want to see you in pain, but will actively cause you to be in it, naturally manipulative, more smirks than grins.

i want to say gaslighting, but will ease on it when he warms up to reader...?

internal personality conflict:

i see him as finding a human annoying, and originally toying, very traumatic shit, then warming up. (insert charm) not accepting that he has feelings, he pushes them into obsession. and acts them out in questionable physical actions.

thoughts:

quotes are ooc, just what i think he would justify his actions;

"no its not love, i just need them with me at all time."

"my spark isnt flaring harder because of love, its because they belong in there"

"they may not live long, but i can preserve them" (leads to infusing energon?)

soft pharma (say no tarn tcog or any incidents, or you pull him out of issues) (shit how did first aid get an evalv from rung but pharma didnt?? bro was sane then!!)

-would be tender, lots of physical affection (still)

-would organ harvest for you

-would tease you and be annoying (instead of internalizing it and coming out obsessive.)

[robot-roadtrip-rants]

AH SHIT I ALMOST FORGOT

I do recall a scene of space marine torture from Pharos, and there's some interesting dynamics going on there. The Night Lords capture the operator of the titular Pharos, Barabas Dantioch, and order him to explain how it works. To force compliance, they start by torturing his comrades (content warning for torture):

Seven members of Polux's garrison had been captured. They had been stripped of their battleplate. Blood leaking around their interface ports spoke to the Night Lords' lack of care. Six were fastened, naked, to X-shaped crosses set up around the room, but were as yet unharmed. The seventh was upon the floor, his ankles and wrists bound to each other with great shackles that cut into his skin, his head kept on the ground by the boot at his neck. "This machine--are you ready to tell me how it functions?" said Krukesh testily. Barabas remained stonily silent.

Krukesh subsequently threatens to torture and kill the other marines if Dantioch doesn't obey. When Dantioch refuses, he carries out his threat. But things change when the Night Lords manage to get their hands on Dantioch's dearest boyfriend:

Krukesh cast his eyes over Magna Macragge Civitas, spying upon its inhabitants through the Pharos. Already he had mastered its focusing. Full of confidence, he pushed hard to unlock its secrets. The warsmith [Dantioch] was an unwilling yet useful resource. Polux hung from a cross with their other captives, and he had proved a most useful lever. Skraivok had had the pleasure of using his knife on the Imperial Fist--not too much, just enough to keep Dantioch's mind on his job. He had ordered Kellenkir to hurt the others more seriously, a little demonstration to the warsmith of what awaited Polux if he felt in the mood for defiance. [...] Polux hung limply from a torture cross, barely conscious. Mercifully, he was not seriously hurt, although blood streaked his skin and pain spikes jutted from every interface port in his skin. [...] "Do not harm him! I am doing as you ask!" Krukesh shook his head. "Too late." The shears were forced into Polux's mouth. At the scrape of metal on his teeth he came fully awake. He threw his head from side to side, then convulsed, the pain spikes burning into his nervous system. Dantioch became desperate. Affection of this kind was a weakness, he knew, but Polux was his friend.

Emphasis added by me. As you can see, the Night Lords have a specific device for feeding pain into the nervous system via interface ports.

It's worth noting that this scenario is very different than your Inquisition one. For starters, the loyalists haven't been detained on the Emperor's authority, they've been captured by Chaos marines. So that gives them all a powerful motivation to resist their torturers, a motivation that probably wouldn't exist with an Inquisitor captor. In addition, they know that an allied fleet is gunning it to their planet--they just need to hold out until the fleet arrives. But with the Inquisition, there would probably be much less hope of relief.

That said, I think it's pretty significant that Krukesh gets compliance (kinda) from Dantioch by using a mental lever. Obey or your buddy dies horribly.

Hello. I saw you offer help for newbies to the WH40K rigamarole with lore details. Anyway I'm writing a thing and I would like to know if there's like. Tried and true ways for Space Marines to be interrogated? Specifically, by the inquisition and the relatively squishy Inquisitors. I was thinking maybe something that would use their heightened senses against them like high frequencies and such. Anyway, I would truly appreciate your help. Best regards ✨️

Hmmmmmmmm…

Full disclosure, I haven’t read too much about space marines being tortured, by the Inquisition or others. But I do know a fair amount about Astartes physiology and Imperial culture, so let’s start with that. Obvious content warning: discussion of torture, mutilation, people doing horrible horrible things to other people, and Imperial Fists.

Firstly, the obvious: Astartes are much more durable and have a much higher pain tolerance than a baseline human. Lash a human with a whip, and he’ll scream in pain; lash a marine with a whip, and he won’t even blink. The whip might not even break skin, and if it does, the wound will clot and heal before your eyes. 40k regularly depicts Astartes taking serious injuries (broken bones, lost limbs, bad burns) without much thought beyond the inconvenience.

Nearby, Colnid was cauterising the ragged stump that had once been his leg with the hissing barrel of Duolor’s plasma pistol. ‘I heard that, sergeant,’ he said through gritted teeth. ‘Where’s Apothecary Drekos when you need him? I’m making a real mess of this.’

From Blades of Damocles. The guy subsequently splints on a different leg (it makes sense in context) and keeps going with the rest of his squad. That’s pretty typical of an Astartes.

That said, we also know Astartes do have limits, thanks to uhhhhh rigorous testing by the Imperial Fists using the Pain Glove. What is the Pain Glove? I’ll let the Lexicanum take over here:

It is a "glove" of electrofibre mesh suspended in a vertical shaft, covering the entire body with the exception of the head. It fits the body like an intimate second skin. The glove stimulates nerves to inflict the most agonizing pain throughout the body, without causing physical harm. The device ensures the individual is kept conscious throughout the ordeal by suppressing reflexes which cause fainting.

The Pain Glove is used for meditation (lower settings, shorter exposure) and punishment/torture (higher settings, longer exposure). The phrase “stimulates nerves” implies that the glove plugs into a marine’s ports and thereby accesses his nervous system.

Which brings us to an important point: you can literally interface with a space marine’s nervous system. That’s what the ports are for. That’s why they move so easily in their armor. Space marine armor literally plugs into its wear’s nervous system, so when the brain sends “move move move” signals to the rest of the body, the signals go to the armor, too. Very cyberpunk.

But as the kinky bastards in the Imperial Fists have demonstrated, you can plug other things into those ports and send other signals to the body. Signals like pain. Lots of pain. Pain beyond comprehension. I kinda doubt inquisitors use the Pain Glove themselves, but I’m sure they have other devices they can plug into the ports and blast the unlucky brother that fell into their hands.

It is also worth noting that torture goes beyond physical torment. Loyalist space marines give a hell of a lot of weight to their honor, their duty, and their chapter, far more than they do for their own well being. They’re heavily indoctrinated fanatics. How do you think they’d would handle being told that they are heretics, that they’ve betrayed the Imperium, that their chapter has cast them out, that their name is mud and their honor worthless? NOT WELL! And how much worse would they get if they were convinced that this was true?

If you’ve played the Space Marine games, you’ve seen the long term effects of this kind of questioning (internal and external) on an Astartes. In SM1, Titus is pretty warm and outgoing by Astartes standards. In SM2, he’s the opposite. He’s far more close-mouthed and defensive, and he initially insists on returning to the Deathwatch. The man is convinced that his chapter considers him scum, and is miserable. And this is a guy who has always believed in his own innocence. What do you think would happen if he came to believe he was heretical scum? I think he might lose his mind or kill himself.

This reaction isn’t limited to Titus. There’s a point in the Uriel Ventris books where Ventris and his friend Pasanius are convicted of a severe Codex Breach and sent on a Death Oath. At the start of Dead Sky, Black Sun, they’re both spiraling as a result. Pasanius has even begun to self-harm. Convince a space marine that he’s been abandoned by his chapter, that he’s betrayed his duty to the Emperor and the Imperium, and you take away everything that gives his life meaning.

Now, of course this is a task more easily said than done. Space marines are heavily indoctrinated to make them as mentally resistant as they are physically resistant. But an inquisitor, especially a full-blown Lord Inquisitor, is positioned to make those charges far more convincing.

The Inquisition are the secret police of the Imperium. They act in the name of the Emperor, so by the Throne you’d better jump when they say jump. Okay, okay, it’s more complicated than that—there’s a lot of different power centers in the Imperium, and a wise inquisitor (admittedly something in short supply) will not march into the office of a Chapter Master/Archmagos/High Lord/etc. and expect the occupant to start cringing and bowing. In fact, there’s historically a lot of tension between Astartes and the Inquisition. But individual Astartes will carry a healthy amount of respect for the Inquisition’s authority. Even if they don’t believe an accusation of heresy is true, they know that the Inquisition can make it true.

Incidentally, this is why squishy inquisitors can torture big strong space marines. A space marine who tries to escape, much less get revenge, is a heretic. Period. He’s resisting the authority of the Emperor. There’s no coming back from that. But if he stays and endures the trials the inquisitor puts him through, then maybe, just maybe, he’ll prove his innocence.

But it’s a pretty small maybe.

[alaskas-space-project]

I don’t often post my own thoughts on tumblr but it’s 1 am and I’m not afraid of much when it’s so late (early?)

cw: discussions of ED as they relate to figure skating

tldr: my thoughts on icebreaker and what to read instead

So! I’m going to be talking about figure skating romance novels. If you’ve been anywhere on booktok or sports romance circles, or even just the internet you’ve probably heard of Icebreaker.

I mean, if you only want a romance… it’s there. But as an a beginner figure skater myself, (and someone who has a mild (overwhelming)) interest in the sport as a whole, the figure skating portrayed in the book is really mid.

The fmc (Anastasia/Stassie) is a pairs skater, and her partner has her on a diet to keep her light (???) like sir. Eating disorders are already so rampant in the fs community you don’t have to do it for her. Her BF is a very typical romance intrest and he’s like giving alpha of the college frat. I’m not going to reread icebreaker to straighten out my memories because I don’t think I can manage it.

major problem I have with the plot of this book: Anastasia changes from Pairs to Singles months before the Olympics, and wins the fucking women’s singles. Are there no Russian or Japanese skaters in this universe? But also ????? She switched disciplines only a few months before the fucking Olympics and then won. They’re different disciplines for a reason—of course the skills and many of the elements can be transferred across, but there’s a big bloody difference between the two. And then she gets pregnant. Surprise baby at like, 20!!

so yeah. Not my favourite book of all time. I mean, I’ve read worse, but that’s not really what you want to hear when someone’s recommending stuff to you.

HOWEVER!! There’s a ray of hope for us! I’ve read two figure skater romances which have my seal of approval (if that matters)

1) Unsteady by Peyton Corinne

2) From Lukov with Love by Mariana Zapata

I’ll try not to give any spoilers if you want to read these books.

Unsteady is another figure skater/hokey player romance, and it does what Icebreaker wanted to do. Compelling fmc, love inrest isn’t two dimensional minus his abs, and there’s a really nice plot line about the fmc’s family (she has little brothers). I generally really enjoyed this book, and it also has a Spotify playlist made by the author, which includes songs such as: Meddle About by Chase Atlantic, American Teenager by Ethel Cain and Family Line by Conan Grey.

(Mild spoilers for this one) From Lukov with Love is a a figure skater/figure skater romance. Jasmine Santos is a pairs skater who has trouble keeping a good partner, and Ivan Lukov’s partner has decided to take a break this season (despite them being the Olympic favourites??) I don’t remember if it was explained why. anyways, the two of them pair up. Now, I liked this book. It was better than Icebreaker. The characters are 25/30 years old, instead of being barely above the age of consent, which is a point from me. I have a bone to pick with Ivan though—he calls Jasmine meatball because she’s heavy or something??? And it’s addressed… in a way? Like he says “if it’s really bothering you I’ll stop, you know I don’t mean anything by it” you know how fucking fast my skate would be snuggling up to this man’s liver?? Mach fuck. But, they have a pretty interesting (good?) relationship. They’re there for eachother, and they work together to improve their skating.

A massive plus for me, which almost makes up for Ivan’s transgressions, is the realism of the figure skating here. FLWL dives into the different lifts, jumps and spins the pair do, and I love the little details the author added—she did her work! like the figure skaters falling on one side more than another (and just being used to falling on the ice lol), the solid explanations of the jumps, not making her characters constantly do triple C elements, and having the Jasmine have a signature jump. There’s a lot more details I could put in about what I liked in the figure skating of this book. it’s got my seal of approval overall.

so uh, yay! There’s my alternatives if you like figure skater romances, and you’re thinking about reading Icebreaker. I mean, I won’t stop you, but I’d definitely give these two a go as well, or instead

[inkskinned]

so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.

first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.

it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.

and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.

you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.

and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.

your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.

in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.

in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.

so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.

you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.

once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.

and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"

you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?

hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!

you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.

we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?

[amanedachi]

iron / heart

Part of LoL Esports Elemental Series.

[sluckythewizard]

[PUT INTO PLACE, TIED DOWN AND ARRANGED, AND IS NEVER THE SAME, AGAIN.]<-listen to my favorite songs. VAMPIRES ARE WONDERFUL ARENT THEY. THE FLESH IS SO MUCH MORE DURABLE. SO MUCH STRETCHIER THAN HUMANS. THE STRESS DOESNT KILL A VAMPIRE THE SAME WAY IT DOES A HUMAN. YOU CAN TAKE THEM APART THREAD BY THREAD AND LEAVE THEM WIDE AWAKE WITHOUT WORRY OF THE BRAINMATTER SPOILING UNDER VINEGARY AGONY.

[sodrippy]

regressing to my worst teenage traits but also being in one of the best places w my mental health at the same time is insane. like insane insane. whats fucking going on.

[starlight---starbrights]

Undertale yellow flowey embroidery

This took about 40 hours, give or take a few

[strawglicks]

need more firesetter content of graham being horribly pathetically downbad for flint