#I have no problem with making characters post canon trans

[giantkillerjack]

Your stance on the Dunmeshi queerbait stuff is a bit selfish. Wanting this one manga to go exactly the way you want is a dangerous path - the way you phrase it is so entitled, making it clear it's not about consuming media about lesbians, but making one specific work suit exactly what you want. So many yuri mangas are written by sapphic women. It's a shame your stance is how it is.

And bastardizing the term queerbaiting does no good, either. Neither does the japanese manga market. You should research more before making such hurtful posts.

Hope you have a great day anyway.

[Anon is referring to this post, I believe.]

I mean, one of us certainly IS acting very entitled and weird about the media they like, and it ain't me. Like, I think you just have associated this piece of media with your own identity in an unhealthy way that makes you react to criticism of it with intense defensiveness. You don't own Dungeon Meshi. You aren't Marcille. Dungeon Meshi is NOT a yuri manga; it's a beautiful manga with either sapphic queerbait or a woefully underdeveloped queer relationship at its center.

Maybe if you had an argument besides "it does no good" to criticize it, but you don't. So.

Smh, it's a "dangerous path" - I'm screenshotting that bc I know it'll make my wife laugh. Like, friendo, wanting a piece of media to be better isn't dangerous. But calling someone selfish and hurtful for criticizing media while offering no clarifications as to who I've hurt or how (any fellow sapphics bleeding out in here? Or is it just me with my bonkers-heavy period??)... it's overstepping a social boundary in a bizarre way.

Like, I'm sorry that I'm better at media analysis than you (not actually sorry - I am being petty! :D), but I actually have studied queerbaiting!! I am willing to bet I have done more research than you! (Are you from twitter? You have that vibe. - Again, pettiness.)

... and I spend every day with my wife (the best writer I know; I'm so honored to share stories with her), talking of nothing but our shared special interest all day - i.e. media analysis. (I honestly don't know what neurotypical couples talk about lol)

And I've done enough research to know that one of the side effects of queerbaiting is that fans are often in denial about it and then get REAL MAD when someone points it out. I was there for the Sherlock/Supernatural fandom. Shit was crazy. (Not saying Super-who-lock bc my man Russell Davies was like MAKE THOSE BOYS SMOOCH! 😎)

Also like, my apologies to Ryoko Kui - I really do love Dungeon Meshi - but like, I'm just better at writing and illustrating queer rep than she is. I make real gay protagonists who do gay shit and are gay, and I will never queerbait my audience. Womp womp.

Also, honestly, even if I turn out to be wrong about the queerbaiting by the end of the series, this message was still rude and entitled and weird. We have a lot of issues facing our queer community that endanger real people; someone calling a story queerbaiting mistakenly is not one of them.

[scopebite]

they are not that fleshed out what you're interested in is just headcanon projections on fascists you're playing dolls with because they're empty enough to project all that on and the tragic character you're looking for is Ulysses but you prefer to project all of his lore and personality characteristics onto Vulpes Inculta for sooooome reason... I fucking hate you people

"It's just such an interesting-"

[cybernaght]

The fandom echo chamber: fanon, microanalysis and conspiracy brain 

As someone who has been in fandom spaces, on and off, for 20 years, I find some fascinating trends popping up in the last decade that I thought to be fandom-specific but clearly aren’t. So, I would like to do a little examination of where those things come from, how they are engaged with, and what it says about the way we consume media. This is a think piece, of sorts, with my brain being the main source. As such, we will spend some time down the memory lane of a fandom-focused millennial.

This is largely brought about by Good Omens. But it’s also not really about Good Omens at all.

Part one. Fanon.

The way we see characters in any story is always skewed by our very selves. This is a neutral statement, and it does not have a value judgement. It’s simply unavoidable. We recognise aspects of them, love aspects of them, and choose aspects of them to highlight based entirely on our own vision of the universe. 

Recognition comes into this. There is a reason so many protagonists of romance novels have a “blank slate” problem. Even when they do not, we love characters who are like us or versions of us that we would like to be. And when we say “we”, I also mean, “me”. 

(I remember very clearly this realisation hit me after a whole season of Doctor Who with writing which I hated utterly when I questioned why I still clung so incredibly hard to Clara Oswald as my favourite companion. Then I looked at myself in the mirror. Oh. Well. That would do it, wouldn’t it?)

Then, there is projection, and, again, this is a neutral statement. Projection exists, and it is completely normal and, dare I say it, valid way of engaging with — well, anything. Is the character queer? Trans? Neurodivergent? Are they in love? Do they like chocolate? Are they a cat person? Well, yes, if this is what the text says, but if the text does not say anything… You tell me. Please, do tell me. Because, in that moment of projection, they are yours. 

And then, there is fandom osmosis, and that is the most fascinating one of them all, the one that is not very easy to note while you are inside the echo chamber. It’s the way we collectively, consciously or not, make decisions on who or what the characters are, what their relationships are, and what happens to them.  

(Back when I was writing egregiously long Guardian recaps on this blog I actually asked if Shen Wei’s power being learning actually was stated anywhere in the canon of the show. Because I had no idea. I have read and reread dozen of fanfics where that is the case, and at some point through enough repetition, it became reality.)

We are all kind of making our own reality here, aren’t we? 

Back when things were happening in a much less centralised manner - in closed livejournal groups, and forums of all shapes and sizes - I don’t remember there being quite as much universally agreed upon fanon. Frankly, I don’t remember much of universally agreed upon anything. But now, everything is in one place: we have this, and we have AO3, and it’s wonderful, it really is so much easier to navigate, but it’s also one gigantic reality-shifting echo chamber, with blogs, reblogs, trends, and rituals. 

Accessibility plays its part, too. If you were, say, in Life on Mars (UK) fandom between seasons, and you wanted to post your speculation fic, you had to have had an account, and then find and gain access to one of the bigger groups (lifein1973 was my poison, but ymmv), and then, if you feel brave you may post it, but also, you may want to do so from your alt account if you wanted to keep yours separate, and then you would have to go through the whole process again. And I’m not saying that fan creations then were somehow inherently better for it than fan creations now (although Life on Mars Hiatus Era is perhaps a bad example - because some of the Speculation Fic there was breathtaking), but there is something to say about the ease of access that made the fandoms go through a big bang of sorts.

(I mean, come on, I can just come here and post this - and I am certain people will read it, and this blog is a pandemic cope baby about Chinese television for goodness sake.)

The canon transformations that happen in the fandom echo chamber truly are fascinating to witness as someone who is more or less a fandom butterfly. I get into something, float around for a bit, then get into something else and move on. I might come back eventually when the need arises, but I don’t sustain a hiatus mind-state. This means that when I float away and return, I find some very intriguing stuff.

Let’s actually look at Good Omens here. Season two aired, and I found it spectacular in its cosy and anguished way; deliberately and intelligently fanfic-y in its plot building; simple but subversive, and so very tender. (I will have to circle back to this eventually, because, truly, I love how deliberately it takes the tropes and shatters them - it’s glorious). And, to me - a person who read the book, watched the first season, hung around AO3 for a few weeks and moved on - absolutely on-point in terms of characterisation. 

So imagine my surprise when the fandom disagreed so vehemently that there are actual multi-tiered theories on how characters were not in possession of their senses. Nothing there, in my mind, ever contradicted any of the stated text, as it stood. This remained a strange little mystery until I did what I always do when I flutter close to an ongoing fandom.

I loaded AO3 and sorted the existing fic by popularity. And there it was, all there: the actual earth-shattering mutual devotion of the angel and the demon; willingness to Fall; openness and long heart-aching confession speeches. There was all of the fanon surrounding Aziraphale and Crowley, which, to me, read as out of character, and to one for whom they became the reality over the last four years, read as truth. 

Again, only neutral statements here. This is not a bad thing, and neither this is a good thing, this is just something that happens, after a while, especially when there are years for the fandom-born ideas to bounce around and stew. I can’t help but think that so much of what we see as real in spaces such as this one is a chimaera of the actual source and all the collective fan additions which had time and space to grow, change, develop, and inspire, reverberating over and over again, until the echoes fill the entirety of the space. 

Eventually, this chimaera becomes a reality. 

Part two. Microanalysis 

Here are my two suppositions on the matter:

1. Some writers really love breadcrumb storytelling. 

Russel T Davies, for instance, on his run of Doctor Who (and, if you are reading it much later - I do mean the original one), loved that technique for his seasonal arcs. What is a Bad Wolf? Who is Harold Saxon? Well, you can watch very very carefully, make a theory, and see it proven right or wrong by the end of the season. 

Naturally, mystery box writers are all about breadcrumb storytelling: your Losts and your Westworlds are all about giving you snippets to get your brain firing, almost challenging you to figure things out just ahead of the reveal. 

2. We, as humans, love breadcrumbs.

And why wouldn’t we? Breadcrumbs are delicious. They are, however, a seasoning, or a coating. They are not the meal. 

Too much metaphor?

Let’s unpack it and start from the beginning.

Pattern recognition colours every aspect of our lives, and it colours the way we view art to a great extent. I think we truly underestimate how much it’s influenced by our lived experiences.

If you are, broadly speaking, living somewhere in Western/North-Western Europe in the 14th century, and you see a painting in which there is a very very large figure surrounded by some smaller figures and holding really tiny figures, you may know absolutely nothing about who those figures are, but you know that the big figure is the Important One, and the small ones are Less Important Ones, and the tiny ones are In Their Care. You know where your reverence would lie, looking at this picture. And, I imagine, as someone living in the 14th century, you may be inspired to a sense of awe looking at this composition, because in the world you live in, this is how art works. 

If you, on the other hand, watch a piece of recorded media and see the eyes of two characters meet as the violins swell, you know what you are being told at that moment. You don’t have to have a film degree to feel a sort of way when you see a green-tinged pallet used, when cross-cuts use juxtaposing images, or notice where your focus is pulled in any given shot. This stuff - this recognition of patterns - has been trained into us by the simple fact that we live in this time, on this planet, and we have been doing so long enough to have engaged recorded media for a period of time. 

As humans, we notice things. Our brains flare up when they see something they recognise, and then we seek to find other similar details and form a bigger picture. This often happens unconsciously, but sometimes it does not. Sometimes we do it on purpose: finding breadcrumbs in stories is a little bit like solving a mystery. It allows us to stretch that brain muscle that puts two and two together. It makes us feel clever. 

So yes, we love breadcrumbs, and, frankly, quite a lot of storytelling takes advantage of this. It’s very useful for foreshadowing, creating thematic coherence, or introducing narrative parallels and complexity. It’s useful for nudging the viewer into one or the other emotional direction, or to cue them into what will happen in the next moment, or what exactly is the one important detail they should pay attention to.

Because this is something media does intentionally, and something we pick up both consciously and not, it is very hard to know when to stop. We don't really ever know when all of the breadcrumbs have been collected. It becomes very easy to get carried away. There is a very specific kind of pleasure in digging into content frame by frame, soundbite by soundbite, chasing that pleasure of finding. 

But it is almost never breadcrumbs all the way down. They are techniques to help us focus on the main event: the story. I truly believe those who make media want it to reach the widest possible audience, and that includes all of us who like to watch every single thing ever created with our Media Analysis Goggles on and those who are just here to enjoy the twists and turns of the story at the pace offered to them. And I think, sometimes in our chase to collect and understand every little clue we forget that media is not made to just cater for us.

One can call it missing a forest for the trees. But I would hate to mix my metaphors, so let’s call it missing a schnitzel for the breadcrumbs. 

Part three. The Conspiracy Brain. 

If you are there with me, in the midst of the excited frenzy, chasing after all those delicious breadcrumbs, then patterns can grow, merge together, and become all-encompassing theories. Let’s call them conspiracy theories, even though this is not what they truly are.

So, why do we believe in conspiracy theories?

One, Because We Have Been Lied To. 

All conspiracies start with distrust.

If you are in fandom spaces - especially if you are in fandom spaces which revolve around a queer fictional couple - especially-especially if you have been in such spaces for a period of time, you have most certainly been lied to at one point or another. 

We don’t even have to talk about Sherlock - and let’s not do that - but do you remember Merlin? Because I remember Merlin. Specifically, I remember the publicity surrounding the first season, with its weaponised usage of “bromance” and assertions that this whole thing is a love story of sorts, and then the daunting realisation that this was all a stunt, deliberately orchestrated to gather viewership. 

And, because we were lied to in such a deliberate manner for such an extensive period of time, I genuinely believe that it forever altered our pattern recognition habits, because what was this if not encouragement to read into things? Now we are trained to read between the lines or see little cries for help where they might not be. Because we were told, over and over again, that we should.

(Yes, I think we are all existing in these spaces coloured by the trauma of queer-bating. I am, however, looking forward to a world where I can unlearn all of that.)

Two, Cognitive Dissonance.

The chain reaction works a bit like this: the world is wrong - it can’t possibly be wrong by coincidence - this must be on purpose - someone is responsible for it.

Being Lied To is a preamble, but cognitive dissonance is where it all originates. In so many cross-fandom theories I have noticed a four-step process:

A) this is not good

B) this author could not have made a mistake 

C) this must be done on purpose

D) here is why 

(Funny thing is, I have been on the receiving end of the small conspiracy spiral, and it is a very interesting experience. Not relevant to this conversation is the fact that a lot of my job revolves around storytelling. What is relevant is that my hobbies also revolve around storytelling. And one of them is DnD. Now, imagine my genuine shock when one of the players I am currently writing a campaign for noticed a small detail that did not make a logical sense within the complexity of the world, and latched on to it as something clearly indicating some kind of a secret subplot. Their thinking process also went a bit like this: this detail is not a good piece of writing — this DM knows how to tell stories well — this is obviously there on purpose. It was not there on purpose. I created a clumsy shorthand. I erred, in that pesky manner humans tend to. And, seeing this entire thought process recited to me directly in the moment, I felt somewhere between flattered and mortified.)

This whole line of thinking, I think, exists on a knife’s edge between veneration and brutal criticism, relentlessly dissecting everything “wrong”, with a reverent “but this is deliberate” attached to it like a vice, because it is preferable to a simple conclusion that the author let you down, in one way or another. 

Three, Intentionality 

I believe that there is no right or wrong way of engaging with stories, regardless of their medium, and assuming no one gets hurt in the process. While in a strictly academic way, there is a “correct” way of reading (and reading into) media, we here are largely not academics but consumers; consumption is subjective.

However, this all changes when intentionality is ascribed. 

The one I find particularly fascinating is the intentionality of “making it bad on purpose” because, as open-minded as I intend to always be, this just does not happen.

It certainly does not happen in long-form media. Even in the bread-crumb mystery box-type long-form media. 

When television programs underdeliver, they also underperform, and then they get cancelled.

If all the elements of Westworld Season 4 that did not sit together in a completely satisfactory way were written deliberately as some sort of deconstruction for the final season to explore, then it failed because that final season will now never come.

(There will likely never be a Secret Fourth Episode.)

And look, I am not here to refute your theories. Creativity is fun, and theorising is fantastic. 

But, perhaps, when the line of thought ventures into the “bad on purpose” territory, it could be recognised for what it is: disappointment and optimism, attempting to coexist in a single space. And I relate to that, I do, and I am sorry that there is even a need for this line of thinking. It’s always so incredibly disappointing that a creator you believed to be devoid of flaws makes something that does not hit in the way you hoped it would. It’s pretty heartbreaking. 

Unfortunately, people make mistakes. We are all fallible that way. 

Four, Wildfire.

Then, when the crumbs are found, a theory is crafted, and intentionality is ascribed, all that needs to happen is for it to catch on. And hey, what better place for it than this massive hollow funnel that we exist in, where thoughts, ideas and interpretations reverberate so much they become inextricable from the source material in collective consciousness. 

Conspiracy theories create alternate realities, very much like we all do here. 

So where are we now?

I am not here to tell you what is right and what is wrong; what is true, and what is not. We are all entitled to engage with anything we wish, in whichever way we wish to do it. This is not it, at all. 

All I am saying is… listen.

Do you hear that echo? 

I do. 

[project-sekai-facts]

Hey I'm the anon from this ask (https://www.tumblr.com/project-sekai-facts/764142926583431168/im-curious-why-you-feel-confident-in-saying-that?source=share) just wanted to say thank you so much for the response!! After reading that and more carefully rereading the stuff in the original mizuki trans post I agree with what you're saying about it being pretty much explicitly confirmed in-game Because of the many bad faith interpretations of my ask I wanted to explain where it came from a bit. I had just come out of listening to another friend doompost/get annoyed about the "vagueness" of the event story and how it wasn't settling the trans vs crossdresser "debate" (heavy quotes there) when I saw the new reblog you made to the mizuki trans post with the line of her being explicitly transgender.

I wanted to hear where you got that from because it was also the impression that I got after reading the story but I was struggling with putting it into words when talking with said friend - honestly i probably could have phrased the ask better but oh well that's tumblr for you.

I've always read her as trans but I've weird feelings about what "being canon" means for a long time hence my fears about jumping the gun - I tended to see it as "you need to have complete 100% proof that it's true that can rebuke all bad faith arguments, and if it doesn't you can accept it as a popular headcanon with some canon support but don't go implying that it's canon" but putting it into words like that makes me realize that that's not a good approach. And just seeing you repeatedly say things like mizuki being in-text confirmed to be trans for 4 years has helped me feel more confident in that and reassess my relationship with canonity in general so genuinely, thank you so much for that.

P.S. damn that ended up being much longer than i thought this was going to be lol. if you don't want to post this for whatever reason that's understandable, don't feel obligated to

No problem! And I'm really sorry for the flack people were giving you in the tags you literally said you wanted Mizuki to be trans in your ask. It's probably because of my response being pretty general and not necessarily directed at you for the most part; i had gotten like 4 other asks about "what are the chances mizuki is a crossdresser" so I just picked one to answer.

I mean yeah technically for it to be 100% canon it should be explicitly stated, but I tend to go off the rules that so long as there's enough sub/textual evidence and very little room for doubt, it's good as canon. Like when I said before that An and Kohane have canon romantic feelings - it's never been said outright but the evidence to prove it with little doubt is there. Technically the term canon refers to a series of works that take place in the same universe, but in fandom the term is often used to describe if character traits or ships are official or not. So Mizuki technically isn't officially a trans girl until they change the gender marker on her bio, but this event removed what little room there was for doubt, so I at the very least would consider it to be canon.

[twst-hottest-takes]

I was scrolling back and reading the blog posts on Vil and even tho I do like him I agree that compared to the other overblotters, the problems he is shown to have in his main story chapter are deeply unserious especially when sandwiched between Jamil and Idia's heavier stories. Vil does have something deeper, but for me Book 5's issue was having the wrong priorities of which part of it to make his "main" character struggle/how it was presented😭

What I think would've been a way more interesting and sympathetic focus for his story on would be his implied insecurity with age, particularly being perceived as older that he actually is (when he asks Kalim how old he thought he was, he tells kalim its good he got it right "or else"). If you start counting the birthdays from September, it's actually an interesting ironic detail that Vil would be the youngest junior despite being one of the most "mature". The backstory could've focused more on the adultification that came with being a child actor, and how maybe Vil feels like he has to make the most out of his beauty before he approaches the time limit on his desirability (ingrained into him by the industry as what he's worth for)

This would've added another layer to why he insists Epel make the most out of his "cuteness" and his rivalry with the noticeably more "youthful" type of beautiful Neige. Could possibly also connect to how Jamil had to grow up quickly too (I'm dissapointed at how irrelevant Scarabia duo turned out to be in Book 5 lol). It would've also made his sacrifice in Book 6 to save Idia (turning into an old man) hit harder, as well as make Book 5 a better build up to the themes of mortality in Book 6 and 7.

Though even when making adjustments to improve how Vil's backstory is presented in the main story, Vil being a conventionally attractive rich white guy with a present and supportive family in canon still makes his struggle with "feeling like I'm never be my best" feel... contrived? and unnecessary victimization for lack of better words. This is why I personally think the transfem headcanon or headcanons where he's a POC also improve his character since the experience and why he feels the need to be the best despite what he's already achieved have another layer to it (since twst's intent is to make the overblotters sympathetic still). I know twst is fantasy so technically it doesn't need to represent real politic correctness etc. but for me this is less preaching and choosing how to set up your characters in the most meaningful ways possible

Everyone is still free to like Vil's character regardless of course (I like vil which is why I yapped about all this) but yeah I'm sad about the wasted potential of a character like him😭

A fine addition to that conversation if I may say so.

Coming from someone who doesn't like Vil in the slightest, I think that you've presented a really good way to tie his character arc in chapter 5 together. If Vil just had more cohesive writing between his habits, motivations, and backstory, he'd be a lot more compelling. I won't harp on this because I think Anon explained themselves very well here and I've already talked about how underwhelming Vil's writing in chapter 5 is at length. Always good to hear a different solution to the same problem though.

Kudos for this one!

Thank you for your take.

(Also, completely valid reasons for enjoying Vil reimagined as trans or POC in fanworks.)

[waterdeepthroat]

playing Veilguard, and while it’s not perfect, it’s not as bad as most of the critics say— i’d give it a solid 6.5/10 so far.

what i liked:

- character creation is great for the most part— some very good hair options with realistic physics, tattoos and scarring seems pretty good as well, and the complexion options are overall pretty varied.

- emphasis on companion questlines— early on in the game (i’m maybe 10-12 hours in at this point) there’s a lot of emphasis on companions, but it doesn’t feel forced— it feels like a natural progression of the main story and it seems to tie in well with the main themes of the game. i can understand why BioWare changed the name from Dreadwolf to Veilguard.

- landscapes/atmosphere— THE ATMOSPHERE. god, when it comes to the aesthetics of the different maps in this game, the art style works incredibly well. the game is visually stunning.

- voice pitch— not a major thing, but i thought it was a nice touch. it makes sense for my rook to have a deeper voice while still feminine, so i thought this worked quite well.

- ghilan’nain’s design is incredible.

- combat is fast-paced and engaging, and while a lot is going on at once i don’t think i ever get left behind in terms of mechanics or new abilities

criticisms:

- why are there so many american VAs?? the dalish in particular seem to suffer from this problem. strife i can understand, as iirc he joined the dalish, but bellara? it breaks immersion for me when the dalish have (with the exception of origins) had welsh and irish accents typically.

- bellara as a character frustrates me. i might do another post about her later, but her mannerisms, her voice, and her class/specialisation irk me.

- no eye or lip shape customisation in the CC.

- WHY NO DA KEEP?? it’s so fucking frustrating that it seems like the devs only care about past choices in DAI if they relate to solavellan. while i did romance solas on my first DAI playthrough, i don’t think it should be the canon/default romance, nor is it even my favourite romance in the game.

- the art style for characters isn’t my favourite, but i don’t think it’s a huge deal. i’ll probably get used to it though.

- what i do genuinely hate is the art style for the UI (ex: journal, skill tree, map, etc.). DA2 and DAI i think do this better, DAI in particular is stylised in such a beautiful way.

- might get some flak for this, but i do think a lot of the gender options are shoehorned, but only in terms of wording. the word “trans”, at least for me, really breaks immersion in the game— i think they should’ve gone the route of the forgotten realms and had human/elven words for trans, like they did in DAI with aqun-athlok.

- i don’t think taash’s questline was handled the best, though i haven’t played through it myself yet (only watched videos on youtube), so take what i say with a grain of salt.

- the skill trees rely on far too many passives, meaning a lot of levels feel pretty dead/barren

[diaphin93]

The worst is that those Edelgard haters are bigoted ( misogyny is a very important part of it, but there's also so much casual racism, ableism and queerphobia, but I'm sure you've seen this better than I did :/ ) but they often believe themselves to not be, and so many of them try to make them like they're actually the one fighting bigotry.

For example, Edelgard has the biggest queer fanbase out of all the house leader and appear outside of the fire emblem fandom in sapphic online space ( hell she even had an irl drag performance ). But they can't really acknowledge that, because that would make them look bad.

So they pretend that actually the huge majority of Edelgard fan are straight men... But to pretend that, they have to play with reality. Edeleth is getting reposted really often in yuri reddit community ? That's because those community are actually all straight men fetishizing wlw. Edelgard is the only canonical bi lord? That's because they wanted to attract those straight men fetishizing wlw, so it's actually terrible male-gazey represention. Edelgard fanfiction are by the HUGE majority written by sapphic women? They'll conveniently only attack the one man that got his F!Edeleth fanfic popular. That guy actually has mostly sapphic and often trans reader? They don't mention it. He often talk about his own queer headcanon or analysis himself? They'll make shitty post on how those hcs or analysis are actually queerphobic.

And that's the same for sexism, racism and ableism. Edelgard is a character made for white straight men, so she's bad for minorities despite her own traits diverging from the norm: she's an acceptable target when you pretend to be against bigotry. Her fans are all white straight men, so they're acceptable target when you pretend to be against bigotry. ( And funnily enough, they never acknowledge when a non-negligible part of the fandom they're in, like Dimitri and Rhea, are full of straight white men )

But that's the problem, the huge logical issues they try so hard to bury, is that we're not actually white straight men. It's so alienating to have them talk about the bad white straight fans of Edelgard, while at the interacting with people like us. Like, did any of your detractors even ever genuinely acknowledged when you, a woman, accused them of incel like behavior without immediately scoffing at the accusation? Did they ever acknowledge that uncomfortable place of minorities in the Edelgard discourse, like they do so often with Rhea or Dimitri to portray themselves as fighter against bigotry?

They erase minorities in the fandom, but they pretend to fight for them.

And the worst is that they don't even really fight against bigotry in the fandom at all. There's so many racist, queerphobe, ableist, misogynist in part of the fandom like the Blue Lions. Hell some of them are very openly conservative or far-right! But they'll never attack those.

Even in the Edelgard community, where we do have small group of vocal straight white bigoted men like in Reddit... They don't actually do anything to them! Those guys are often just as busy fighting F!Edeleth and sapphic women in the community as they are engaged in the discourse. And the Edelgard haters, well, they don't like F!Edeleth and honestly they don't like sapphic women who like Edelgard either, so they have no interest in fighting them. Because they don't actually care about bigotry, they just want to shit on the character they dislike, not so rarely for bigoted reason on their own.

Hey, thanks for the message and sorry that I'm replying so late, started to write this up and then got distracted alot. And I feel you. I think many aspects of this whole Edelgard discourse and fandom Drama surrounding it are very symptomatic with issues in fandom in general, that can often be very hostile towards lesbians and sapphics in particular, due to the strong androcentrism that is visible across Fandoms. I think FE3H in this way represents somewhat of a microcosm of Fandom in on itself, due to the fact that Edelgard early on established herself as a fav of Sapphic and Yuri-centric communities inside Fandom, her most favored ships being w/w with m/w ships always being somewhat of a niche.

Like, Edelgards strong presence in the fandom as well as the preference of sapphic relationships surrounding her is quite an anomaly inside fandom which isn't very often seen and in my opinion the result of a perfect storm. I think what partially plays into it is probably t he way 3 Houses is structured, with the eponymous 3 Houses front and center and a chose your own Lord approach, which creats very much a faction system with this game and with it, encourages the development of communities centered around supporting their chosen Lord and House inside the broader fandom of 3 Houses. And the Black Eagles are just perfectly set up to draw out a strong sapphic and yuri fanbase for itself. There is naturally Edelgard as the central female Lord of the game herself, but I think what cemented it is having Dorothea next to her. Both of them are not only part of the, sadly rather small, cast of confirmed and unambigiously canonical queer characters with the ability to marry either Byleth, they also are themselves written in a way that would naturally draw sapphic audiences. Edelgard alone already fits right into typical tastes of both sapphic audiences and the more decicated fandom, being a canonically queer woman who serves as the central protagonist of her playable route and not only subverts traditional writing with her dominant, brunt and guarded personality, but also acts as a morally nuanced character with motivations strongly centered around the revolution against an oppressive religious institution and a heavy hitting backstory centered around themes of loss of abuse, loss of bodily autonomy and societal vilification. It doesn't hurt that her initial students uniform also strongly invokes an association to Utena if you look at her, even if it may happen unconsciously, who stands as one of the definitive icons of queer women and sapphic centric story telling inside japanese media. Her role is also close to the villainess genre, which is highly centered around a critical lense on the way female character usually are vilified and reclaiming them as empowered feminist symbols, often through the heroine subverting the predetermined narrative that sets them up against each other and chosing female solidarity and companionship with the villainess, which is basically the plot of the Black Eagles Route. The Narrative tries you to force siding against Edelgard and only through claiming authority and deepening their bond to Edelgard, can they defy it and side with her. With Dorothea, we probably have the most feminist character in the history of Fire Emblem, whose themes center highly around objectification and misogyny she faced in what hs implicitely a clearly patriachal society.

Both of them also have strong supports with the other two female members of the Black Eagles, whose personal themes go deep into patriachal abuse, misogyny and anxiety as well as xenophobia, imperialism and the loss of autonomy, both on a personal and national level. Them having these strong bonds with other women, but also female characters outside the Black Eagles, like Edelgard with Lysithea and Dorothea through their shared Paralogie with Ingrid, even if the laters support line is sadly cut short, creats an in short ideal set up a strong w/w centric community around the Black Eagles. With the Black Lions, with its extreme androcentrism, focus on male bonds and traditional Bishonen Design, drawing the traditional Yaoi but also het crowd, we have also a male supporting class who have strong queer subtext with each other, while also drawing in more non-conventional m/m shippers. Especially Ferdibert, due to Huberts more striking non-Bishonen features.

Sorry for the deranged long tangent and going so much offtopic, but I think it was interesting to go a bit into the factors that in my opinion lead to Edelgard and the Black Eagles having an by far above average w/w representation and appeal against the typical trend we see in more general non-female or sapphic centered media. And honestly, I think this is part of where the hatred comes from, because Edelgard and the Black Eagles just tick every box, but in a game that also features your typical straight white heterosexual with yaoi-bait possible Protagonist that draws Fandom attention, to which she stands in opposition. So it invokes hostility and ire, because it ultimately reveals the very centrist to conservative milktoast comforts of Fandoms that try to present themselves as bastions of progressive values and queer representation, when alot of m/m is less than an authentic representation of queerness and most often written around the comfort and gratification of a mostly cishet and in the case of western fandom also very white audience (look at how for example the m/m fandom on the Blue Lions side shuns Dimidue in favor of Dimilix, despite a much more tender relationship that can be read as romantic by the former). So they need to recontextualize Edelgard and her Fandom as actually not queer, as rightwing and reactionary but also engaging in the tactic of it being at one hand oppressively powerful and hostile but on the other hand also a niche delusional group that misreads the entire story. It is all to justify their own more conservative or centrist comfort zones and androcentrism, against a queer feminist Icon.

Though I think especially on Tumblr, what also goes into it is this need to recontextualize fandom into activism. We see this alot with m/m fandoms for example, where, what is male on male stories written not for a queer audience but for cishetero female consumption first and foremost, is treated as the forefront of gay activism. I mean, we saw it with the whole SuleMio vs Destiel Drama here, didn't we? Where bitter Destiel fans expressed the view that their Supernatural ship was actually a major influence in the push for queer representation and acceptance, up to claiming yuri gundam from japan owes everything to some male-centered buffy rip-off that featured less explicit queer representation than its predecessor did at the turn of the millenium. In 3 Houses, we also see this as treating opposition to Edelgard as some form of activism, framing her goals as imperialist or outright colonialist in nature and making the divine whiter than white dragon people who are the immortal progeny of a dragon goddess into a representation of every real marginalized ethnic group on earth...in a game that eschews racial allegories in favor of actually depicting xenophobia, colonialism and genocide against human PoC characters. Many of these arguments actually reveal how Edelgards detractors are basically just performative progressive activists focussing their advocacy on wars against fictional european-inspired powers inside a game, while also clearly just repeating leftist words that they picked up without an understanding of their contemporary political context. Again offtopic, but using terms such as imperialism in its contemporary political context or even worse, colonialism, for wars of conquest and ideals between fictional nations inspired by medieval european kingdoms and empires is asinine.

As you also hinted at Captain Flash, I think there is also a hugh double standart towards male yuri fans which bothers me. First off is blanked hostility and accusations of fetishization towards these groups always linked by transphobic collateral, due to how many closeted sapphic transfems first explore their identity and sexuality through the safe confines of w/w fiction and especially Yuri and this kind of rhetoric will inevitably damage eggs. Secondly is it hypocritical as it often comes from white cisheterosexual women who center their media consumption around the blatant objectification and fetishization of male queerness, with the Yaoi Genre having a shit ton of homophobic, heteronormative, misogynist and transphobic baggage. It also shows a clear lack of knowledge and insight into the culture surrounding Yuri in general, with these kinds of detractors usually projecting issues inside the yaoi community onto yuri. Yuri, as a genre, just never had a split between male and female creators that queer male japanese fiction had, which was traditionally seperated into the female dominated yaoi and the male lead bara or gay comics genre. Sapphic women were always a driving presence both as creators and consumers of the Yuri genre and are very well capable of policing fandoms against fetishizing misogynistic influences. It doesn't even fit into consumption trends, gooners, to name them very bluntly, don't engage with fanfiction, yuri asa broader yuri or shipping discourse, they are much more pragmatic in getting off and just straight up jump into porn.

I think its especially nefarious if we look at the queer community surrounding Edelgard. I mean, Monica at this point could be a transbian icon, because I have seen so many trans women strongly identify with her and build their fandom identity around her, because they can immerse themselves so deeply into her love and appreciation for Edelgard due to her being such an important comfort character for them. Edelgards most passionate fans are often also among the most vulnerable people inside this fandom, who feel inspired and comforted by her. Hell, even Captain Flash, who is often heavily slandered by Edelcritical crowds for the crime of writing a f!Edeleth fanfic often expressed in his authors notes how important and comforting Edelgard is to him, due to his own history of trauma and health issues.

Though I will also say, I'm against the idea of pushing the entire Blue Lions Fandom under the Bus and villify all of them. And even if I did just write some accusatory shit against Yaoi Fans, there is no understatement that in this case I talk about problematic trends I noticed inside the broader fandom discourse as well as the subsection of Yaoi Fans who engage over and over again in hostility against lesbians. At this point, I don't really think the people you complain about, which bother me alot myself, are really a majority of Blue Lions and Dimitri Fans, they are just very loud, pushy and aggressive and are good in talking as if they have any authority (look for example at this asshole who goes into his large somewhat orientalist and overall just stretching interpretations of the games supposedly deep buddhist themes and characterizes Edelgard as some evil seductress due to his own misogyny and media illiteracy). We shouldn't forget that Dimitri for many is just as much of a comfort character and inspiration as Edelgard is for her fans, due to his themes of trauma, mental illness, redemption and forgiveness which resonate strongly with them and their lived situation. I also think the very loud edelcrit community really worked towards poisening the waters and radicalize discourse, but overall I would personally assume that the majority of Dimitri Fans can understand and appreciate Edelgard as what she is in the confines of his route, a well-intentioned antagonist who in their point of view goies to far in her ambitions and whose ideals are irreconcilable with Dimitris. Which is true from the point of view AM operates on, just as Dimitri for an Edelgard Fan represents a good man who has fallen victim to the System and its manipulators Edelgard fights against. Theirs is a conflict of opposing ideals and perspective and I would say its where the game manages to execute its themes of connections and outreach as well as differing perspectives the best. Like, normal Blue Lions Fans ultimately agree with what Edelgard wants to archieve, because their reading is that Dimitri wants to archieve the same, they personally prefer his approach and road towards that goal. I think this is a point where people should be able to have fun with heated discussions but ultimately agree to disagree, its a very subjective matter ultimately.

Actually, I would say the worst detractors and most toxic individuals of the community are probably the church of seiros fans and the "Rhea did nothing wrong" crowd. Like, they can be among Dimitri, Claude or Rhea Fans, but those are usually those who try to force their own rather reactionary interpretations onto the community and engage often in rather racist, religious apologetics and pro-eugenics as well as pro-feudalism talking points and have this weird disdain for humans and human autonomy & liberation, as if they really immerse themselves mostly into the fantasy of being from some superior race, lol. Most of them have rather twisted and messed up interpretations of the world and the story which they are adamant about and usually they build their interpretation of the game around what they want it to be, namely being very pro-theocracy, anti-liberation and espousing the idea that humans need divine immortal beings to lead them, as well as often also being super Pro-Crest. I mean, one of the most infamous Edelcrit Fanfics is basically just full on pro-theocracy, pro-feudalism and pro-eugenics. Usually they have a strong hate boner against Hopes because it really ruins their personal headcanons of what the game is, lol. And I think many of them seem to have strongly jumped to the Engage bandwagon, which is closer to what they want out of 3 Houses, playing the idea of a divine dragon ruler straight and justified feudal bloodlines straight.

But yeah, I think I went into quite a few tangents here, I hope it doesn't bother you. If you have any more asks you can hit me up. Ultimately, I call them out when they engage in Incel and Misogynist behavior and otherwise just clown on these trolls. Its also just sad in a way, because its clear, that they constructed this idea of what they think the game is in their heads and everything that came out after te initial release of the game contradicts it.

[heliza24]

Being a physically disabled Dimension 20 fan breaks my heart sometimes

I’ve been thinking about this since last Wednesday’s episode when we finally got a real scene with Lydia, one of the few physically disabled characters in the entire canon of the show. It was nice, but it was really just a lore dump. An excuse for exposition. A moment for Kristen to look good by expending sympathy/pity. (I’m a little frustrated about how that interaction went down. Extending the help action was nice but patronizingly touching the neck of a full-ass adult without consent was not. It was weird and not something she would have done to a nondisabled character).

I have watched almost all of D20 (still missing a couple of seasons) and as far as I know here’s where our list of canon physically disabled characters stand: Lydia Barkrock, Jan de la Vega (who feels pretty problematic to me, maybe more on that in a later post), one of the Dwarven statues in the temple in The Seven (who is not given the dignity of being brought to life like Asha), and Pete’s coworker in TUC2 who is in exactly one episode and is so unimportant I have forgotten his name. I guess you could make an argument that Gunny is disabled, but I don't feel that Lou or Brennan really talk about him or play him through that lens. So in terms of canon physically disabled PCs-- that leaves us with 0.

We do a bit better with neurodivergent characters and characters with mental health problems; Ayda (my beloved) is very well developed and Adaine is a PC. There have been some openly neurodivergent players, like Omar and Surena, whose characters also read ND to me. But that isn’t labeled or discussed in canon, so it's hard for me to know where to class that. I am going to focus the rest of this post on physical disabilities, since that is my area of lived experience. If another fan wants to write about their perspective of neurodivergence rep in the show, I would love to hear that, and will happily amplify.

There has never been a character with a sensory disability or a limb difference or a chronic illness (not a fantasy one, a real one) on Dimension 20. The only NPCs we have are nondescript, similar wheelchair users. And there has never been a physically disabled player at the table. On the flagship show of Dropout, a company founded on diversity and inclusion. It feels extremely pointed to me.

In fact as far as I can tell there has only been one (1) physically disabled performer on any of Dropout’s shows. (Shout out to Brett, you were great on Dirty Laundry.) Obviously I haven’t seen every episode of everything they have produced. If I have missed someone, please do let me know in the comments/reblogs. But it’s a problem. And Sam Reich even agreed with this criticism when I asked him directly about.

I do really hope they’re working on it, as Sam says. But why has it taken so long?

Dimension 20 has had trans and nonbinary and queer players. It has had players of many different races. I’m not saying that the diversity here is perfect; there should always be more POC in the dome, more queer people. We should keep pushing for that. (And we should also push for performers at the intersections of these identities!) But we’ve seen the ways this diversity has expanded and improved the different seasons, because diverse players create sensitively drawn, diverse player characters. They add details to their PC’s experiences that make them feel rich and alive. I’m thinking about each of Ally’s PC’s incredible capital G gender and Aabria “all my characters (even the stoats) are Black” and how excellent they all are. D20 would not be the show it is without this input.

And yet. And yet.

There are 1,000 interesting and complicated themes to explore around disability. Dealing with access. Dealing with ableism. Dealing with compassion and community care. Dealing with none of it and just being a cool fantasy or sci fi character that happens to be disabled. We don’t get any of it.

I watch my favorite show and I see myself in the ace rep and the female characters. But I don’t see all of me. I see a silent but ever present message: you aren’t quite welcome here.

I have this fantasy that I play in my brain sometimes that someday I’ll get to talk to Brennan in person, like maybe if I buy a VIP ticket and risk Covid to go to a live show or we run into each other on the street or something. I am able to look him in the eye and articulate why he NEEDS to include a physically disabled player in an upcoming season. I reference the ways he’s talked about inclusion and writing diversely on Adventuring Party. Maybe I hand him a handwritten letter, or hell, a printout of this post. And because he really cares about diversity and his shows and his fans he would listen to me, and cast a physically disabled performer in the next season.

But I think that might be giving that nondisabled man (whose work I adore, who I respect so much) too much credit. Because he’s had Jennifer Kretchmer, a physically disabled actual play performer, on adventuring academy to talk about access in gaming. He’s hired disability consultants. He knows about physically disabled people, enough to give us shoutouts as inconsequential npcs. And he still hasn’t thought to include us at the table. In over 20 seasons. None of that other stuff matters if we aren't given a seat at the story telling table, and the agency to craft our own narratives equal to other participants in the game.

When Lydia was telling her story in the last episode, I kept wishing for a prequel, where she is more than a plot delivery device and a kind but unimportant parent. I want to know about her adventures with her adventuring party. I want to see a talented, wheelchair-using actor play out the scene when she decides to put the gem in her chest. I want to hear about what happened after. I want to know how she survived. I want it so badly it hurts.

I am in the process of trying to find new indie actual plays that feature more disabled talent. I am learning how to GM myself so I can tell these kinds of stories. But it’s not the same as being a fan of something. Sometimes I don’t want to have to make my own representation. Sometimes I just want to turn on my favorite tv show, the one that I have cosplayed from and written metas about and loved whole heartedly, and see myself included.

If you’re another disabled or neurodivergent fan I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. If you’re not, I’d love for you to reblog this. I would love for the absence of physical disability in this show to be a topic of fandom conversation, at the very least.

[rainbow-crane]

So recently I made a post about why I think Chihiro makes the most sense within the context of her own story as a transfem. It was a post made right after an all nighter, so I'm honestly surprised how coherent I was able to make it lol, but anyways, I wanted to keep talking about it. I think I covered pretty well about why Chihiro being trans is more impactful for her, but not so much why transfem specifically, and not transmasc. Basically, the goal of this post is to explain why I think a lot of people are weirded out by the transmasc headcanon in a way that hopefully doesn't feel like an attack

I'm well aware that a lot of people that enjoy transmasc Chihiro are transmasc themselves, and see themselves in said interpretation. This is generally true of a lot of trans interpretations of characters, but especially here, as the canon explanation of Chihiro's character is "he feels immensely uncomfortable pretending to be a girl so people won't make fun of him." I myself used to adore the transmasc headcanon. I hc'd Chihiro as wearing a packer, that Kyoko could tell it was an artificial dick, and everything that followed was the class being Super Cool about trans people because it just seemed like the easiest out for all the transphobia within her story. Besides, I quite liked Chihiro, and 'boy who feels like he must dress like a girl for people to assume his identity' was something I related to a lot.

The thing is, the more I looked into that interpretation, the less sense it starts to make. Again, as a GNC trans man, I like to wear skirts and things like that. Clothes don't have gender, after all, and they can be way more comfortable than pants, especially when you don't shave. But Chihiro isn't GNC. Her story as it's meant to be interpreted expressly says feminine clothing makes her feel lesser than. She's described (by Monokuma ofc) as hating said femininity. It makes her feel weaker, like those skirts and female identity is an inherent weakness. And that's what I think the main problem is; even when under the guide of being a trans man, Chihiro's story still falls as one rooted in misogyny as most logically presented.

The story presented in chapter 2 is inherently male-centric, to the point where its title is "Boys' Life of Despair". It's a story about men, questioning the identity of men, and focused wholly on men. The one (canonically) fem character that's important to the chapter's plot is Toko, and only to perpetuate an ableist trope as a red herring. Even then, when Syo reveals herself, all her dialogue is explaining why men are so important to her. I don't think having a subplot that focuses on male characters or the concept of masculinity is a bad idea on paper, especially not when within the confines of an overarching plot that very much does utilize women as leading characters, but in practice, the plotline about toxic masculinity is used *at the expense of* women, rather than existing in tandem with them.

Throughout the entire chapter, it's established that women are weaker via Chihiro. When Mondo says that women are naturally weaker, Chihiro starts crying, and Mondo is made to apologize. HOWEVER, the reason he apologizes is not because of the blatant misogyny of the statement, but rather, because he yelled too loud. Even when Hina and Sakura are involved in the conversation, neither of them seem to care about the sexism. Even in the stage play, when Sakura DOES take offense to it, it's shrugged off as a gag, with Mondo saying she's 'special.' Sakura is held as an exception to the rule. AT NO POINT IN THIS CHAPTER IS THE ASSERTION THAT WOMEN ARE INHERENTLY WEAKER THAN MEN EVER CONTESTED. Later in the same chapter, Makoto (the player character whom we're supposed to be projecting onto) says that Mondo was right, and that girls aren't strong.

Chihiro's backstory and the way she views herself *as presented by others* only reinforces this idea. The parallels between Chihiro and Mondo are a story about strength and weakness. Chihiro is physically weak but mentally strong, and Mondo is physically strong but mentally weak. This is the point of them being paired together, and the foundation upon which everything else found in the chapter is built on. So when you have Chihiro, a canonical man who wears skirts, and give her an inferiority complex about her weakness that's inherently tied to how similar she is to women, you end up with an inherently misogynistic narrative. According to Danganronpa, Chihiro is weak BECAUSE of her similarities to women, as is enforced by the language used and the presentation of Chihiro's identity. Similarly, the assertion that Chihiro makes to Mondo defining her 'mental strength' is the assertion to no longer be fem-presenting, to destroy everything feminine about her and to become a 'real man' like how she perceives Mondo. This part by itself could be interpreted as transmasc, but when paired with the rest of the chapter's insistence of the weakness of women? It's not transphobic anymore, sure, but it still has that inherent core of misogyny, without any real acknowledgement or deconstruction of it in the way that the transfem headcanon does.

Ultimately, fiction is meant to be interpreted by those who consume it, and you can fanonize as much as you want. Just don't be too surprised when women, especially trans women, don't like the way you're interpreting it. It is always worth deconstructing your own biases and the way you consume media

[queer-reader-07]

a love letter to trans romance

because i can't be normal about media and i'm making it y'all's problems

hi hello and welcome to my mildly unhinged ramblings about love and gender. this post comes to you in three sections, enjoy <3

--

t4t romance novels made me believe in love again

the first romance book i ever read was The Feeling of Falling in Love by Mason Deaver. TFOFIL is a t4t (trans for trans) romance that follows a teenage trans boy, Neil Kearney, and a figuring-out-their-gender teen, Wyatt Fowler, as they get themselves wrapped up in peak YA romcom shenaniganary and eventually fall in love. cute, right? just a fun little romcom, not much more to it?

yeah well that's what i thought going in, but coming out of that book i was in tears. tears because i'd never read a story about trans love before. tears because at that point in my life i'd never allowed myself to fully claim the word "trans." tears because Wyatt made me feel so seen and so real.

there's this one scene where Wyatt is talking to Neil and they describe themself as being the kind of person who sometimes wants to wear makeup and dresses, but other times they like their body hair and scruffy beard. and i just remember nodding along and then absolutely melting because Neil takes it in stride, he comforts Wyatt and let's them know that they don't need to have it figured out just yet. Neil makes it clear that he's there, and that Wyatt doesn't need to come out to anyone unless they're ready.

Mason Deaver has another t4t romance, Okay, Cupid. and that similarly had me in my feels because there is something so special about finding people who embrace you for all that you are.

every t4t romance I've read has one thing in common, the fact that the love interests do not love each despite the other's transness. their transness is not an obstacle to love or to attraction or to adoration, it is an object of it. their transness is something to be admired and to be loved and to be cared for. it is not something the other has to "get over."

reading The Feeling of Falling in Love was the first time i ever thought to myself "maybe, just maybe, i can call myself trans and still be loved." because up until that point i hadn't let myself accept that i was some flavor of trans. up until that point i'd said "not cis" without ever saying trans because i was so scared my being trans would make me unlovable. t4t romance books showed me how wrong i was. they showed me that my ability to be loved was not dependent on my girlhood.

ha you thought i could write something this long on tumblr and NOT mention good omens? think again bestie

i have held a trans reading of crowley since i read the book and the show only solidified it for me. crowley canonically plays with gender.

he's dressed femme during the crucifixion scene, his modern look is a mix of men's and women's pieces, his hair is a Whole Thing in and of itself. i could go on but i digress.

but it's not just the way he plays with gender that informs my trans reading of him. it's also how his character arc can very easily be read as an allegory for transness.

an angel who falls (a girl who isn't a girl anymore)

a fallen angel turned demon (a girl who is a boy now)

a demon who isn't really a demon anymore (a used to be girl, a thought to be boy, is now nonbinary)

girl = angel and boy = demon is entirely arbitrary in this please don't read into it

now, you may be thinking "A how in god's name does this apply to trans romance?" to which i say, aziraphale falls in love with every version of crowley. aziraphale beams heart eyes at angel!crowley before the beginning and loves crowley as a demon for millennia and is so deeply and unabashedly in love with crowley in his not-quite-demon form of s2.

aziraphale loves all the versions of crowley because crowley's angel or demon-ness (gender) is not the reason aziraphale loves crowley. aziraphale doesn't love crowley because he's a demon or because he used to be an angel, aziraphale loves crowley because it's crowley. crowley in whatever clothes he chooses to where, crowley with whatever hairstyle he's fancying at the moment, crowley as he inhabits the shades of grey just a little more.

to me, that is so easy to read as a trans love story. you could argue it's t4t depending on how you read aziraphale, but to me, it's at the very least a love story between a mostly-demon who gets down to some gender fuckery and an angel who loves him very much.

fuck it let's talk about fanfiction

i don't think i could make this post without mentioning @ineffabildaddy's fic I'm Beginning to See the Light.

i have a complicated relationship with my body. i don't plan to ever medically transition because i don't want to make any permanent changes to my body. but there are days where all i want is to have a flat chest and hips that are flush with the rest of my body but instead i'm stuck with tits and an hourglass figure cis people always seem to focus on.

i don't hate my body, but the idea that anyone could look at it and not just see A Woman is beyond me. i walk through life being perceived as a very feminine woman even on the days that i feel the most androgynous. the idea that a lover could look at my body and still see me for who i am feels like a dream that could never happen.

and IBTSTL slapped me (lovingly) across the face with the message that, actually, i can be loved as my whole self and that there are people out there who don't look at me and see A Woman and those people don't love me any less. IBTSTL made me feel safe in my trans body because it said "you are worthy of love and adoration because your transness is not something to get past it is something to admire. it is something to love."

--

i think the point i'm trying to make here is this: trans love stories are so special to me. they've been so vital in my own journey to love and accept myself. they're the reason i can imagine myself maybe having romantic love in the future.

representation matters, it can quite literally change your life.

[damnfandomproblems]

#5603:

Yeah. Antis will 100% harass you for shipping canon stuff. I had an experience once where I shipped a vanilla-ass pairing that had been canon for over half a decade, and some antis got on my butt about it simply because the characters were both cishet.

Their logic was... Because you ship the canon pairing and didn't make any changes, you must be a transphobe and a homophobe who hates gay people and only ships "shithet" pairings.

Let that sink in.

Meanwhile, you could have 20 M/M ships off in the corner, or even readily advertised, but they just fixate on the stuff that is easiest to yell at you about. If they do see the other ships, they just switch tracks to "you're just trying to cover up your bigotry lol." It's even sadder when you, yourself, are trans and the whole thing gives you serious imposter syndrome.

Can't win. I swear lol.

Posting as a response to a previous problem.

[adamnablelittledevil]

Reacting to The Vampire Lestat - Part III (with a bit of spoilers)

I like Gabrielle.

I'm not sure I love her, but I really like her.

I feel wrong using feminine pronouns with her, though. I feel like Gabrielle is whispering in my ear that is they/them. Like, I've never had a headcanon so strong before? I don't know about labels, but for me those are the pronouns Gabrielle would use. It's just so clear to me.

I won't use them because the book doesn't do it, the fandom doesn't do it, which I'm not criticizing because it isn't exactly 'official', so it wouldn't be real canon to... But I feel like if the books were released today, it would be. And I hope the show changes that and we can gradually adjust too.

I hope that when they write season 3, they show signs of her gender dysphoria even before she says something explicit like the "you're the man in me" conversation. I want lines that imply that, I want a look in her eyes and expressions on her face whenever she gets gender envious of guys or has to do something "feminine". The book doesn't do a lot of that because Lestat is the narrator and he is away from her, so we barely see her before the transformation/'transition' but the show has the opportunity to explore more of it and I hope they use it.

Gabrielle was born to be a vampire. I think she would nail it even without Lestat's counseling. It's just second nature for her. You go, bruh!

Gabrielle actually seems to be more fun and even affectionate than I expected? I was worried that she'd might be too confident, powerful, badass, empowered etc that she would feel cold and emotionless, because that's usually what happens with characters like these and I hate that... But so far it hasn't been the case.

She really blossomed with vampirism. Feels like she is finally getting the opportunity to have the life she was meant to live.

The only downside is the hair. That moment with the hair was so visceral. I feel bad for her. Imagine being stuck with a hair you hate and gives you body dysphoria forever. I hope the show lets her hair be short. Like, maybe her illness affected her hair or something. Or at least give her hairstyles that make it look shorter than it really is. Or make her cut it every day. I don't care. Let the dude have short hair! Period.

Lestat's reaction to all this is like... Mixed feelings. He doesn't love it. Which, I get it, all his life he knew her as a "woman". It can be weird adjusting to that, it may feel like you're losing someone. But there are these gentle moments when he separates accessories (if I remember it correctly, rings) that are masculine for her because he figures she would prefer them and when he says he'll cut her hair every night if she wants to, so it's more of unlearning and grieving what/who he thought was 'real' and adapting to a new reality. It's not an "okay, let's go!" reaction as if nothing happened, specially for the time being (1700s), it's complicated, but he seems to be open. I can't speak for everyone who is trans and/or under the non-binary umbrella, but it was human to me and I have no problems with it.

Alright, so whether it was incestuous before or not, now it clearly is. I do hope it started now and not when they were human, though.

She was my mother, my fledgling, my child (sort of), my roommate, basically the only friend I had and my lover. I mean, not exactly, but I thought the joke was funny.

I feel like if I talk about the incest, it has to be on another post because it would probably take too long. There are way too many things to talk about and I'm still approaching the middle of the book.

Let's just say it sort of makes works with how the book, the characters, this species and universe are written. I can sort of get it, at least for now. Is it necessary? No. Would the show suffer if they don't do the incest? Not all. Is it random, irrelevant, only for shock value and because "let's get nasty freaky and controversial these are vampires and this is gothic horror grow up cupcakes deal with it hahaha"? Also no! It has some kind of logic. But I feel like Lestat and Gabrielle are already layered enough with their parent/child/maker/fledgling/sort of envious of each other (including the fact they're both gender nonconforming to some extent) dynamic on its own, that there's plenty to cover here without incest. Still, if the show goes there (and I'm afraid they will), I also expect it to make sense and not be just for the sake of being seual, weird and controversial. I believe Rolin is too good to write something that mediocre and poor. So, I can live without it, but I'm also trusting the show to do whatever their thing is. Let's see, I guess.

Also, at least at the moment, it's not as big as people make it out to be. Again, to talk about this properly I'd need another post, but it's not like they sleep together, they're head over heels in love with each other or anything. Like I said, there's some logic that is kind of complicated to explain here, but it's not that radical and it's not that often. Sometimes I even genuinely and wholeheartedly forget about it. Fortunately, there are way too many other (and more) interesting things going on to focus on.

Gabrielle learning about her powers is really fun too, maybe even more fun than Lestat since she's such a natural at this whole thing.

And their maker/fledgling dynamic is entertaining as well.

She's like, climbing walls, jumping from roofs etc like a cat, just having the time of her life and while Lestat gets pretty adventurous and experimental with his powers too, it's not as much? Gabrielle takes it to the next level (good for her).

Like, sometimes he has to stop Gabrielle like a father with his kid, like "CAN WE PLEASE JUST GO HOME WE CAN DO MORE TOMORROW" and it's simply hilarious.

Stop it, Lestat, let Gabrielle HAVE FUN!

Gabrielle just gives major Cat Woman vibes. Now I need Cat Woman-esque scenes on the show with her climbing and jumping between buildings etc. WE HAVE SO MUCH POTENTIAL AND THE VISION IS CO CLEAR. Do it, Rolin!

It's cool that Lestat finally has some real company and someone with whom he can be open about being a vampire.

Loneliness is the biggest thing for him on the show and I have a feeling it's the same thing on the books. And it's even worse here, because there are moments where he is completely alone and in so much pain (and we haven't seen that on the show yet). Having Gabrielle around made things better for him and he hasn't cried in a little while (and he was crying A LOT on those first two chapters, for very understandable reasons), so this was a nice turn for him and the story.

I also think he enjoys being her mentor, like it gives him a sense of purpose and pride. Reminds me of how he talked about the way he felt at the monastery. And it's sweet to see him teaching Gabrielle stuff.

And sometimes he feels like an old and tired single dad and it's just funny. Like, Gabrielle is ready to create the vampire Olympics and win gold for every single sport and he just wants to sleep. Lestat is too much and loves playing around, but Gabrielle is too much even for HIM. Imagine having more energy than the actual ADHD child. What a legend. They're hilarious. A lot of room to play with humor with these two and I hope they use it.

P.S. Nothing is permanent, opinions might change and this is based on Lestat’s narration, which can be unreliable. I’m reading the books so I can find out more about the characters, what potential events might happen in the show, what I can expect etc. This is my favorite show in the universe, so I want to be as informed as possible. I have no idea if I’ll become a legit fan of the books or not, but so far I’m enjoying it. I’m posting these comments only for fun.

[vole-mon-amour]

"whether you hc Kerry as bisexual or—" Kerry is originally a character from a tabletop role-playing game that's been made into a videogame by CDPR. I don't need to hc him as bisexual because he's canonically bisexual, thank you very much.

even in Cyberpunk 2077 he has an ex wife and two kids that he definitely didn't aquire by jerking off into a cup. he did love her. he did want kids. the trauma his ex wife caused is another, unexplored thing that the devs just avoid completely and refuse to talk about his bisexuality.

so if you harass real people for modding Kerry to be with a female V to the point that people feel afraid to post their trans feminine looking men and feel like they have to state immediately something like, "it's not like I ship him with a woman, it's a man!", then the problem is within you.

they're all fictional characters, but again: Kerry is a canonical bisexual character, whether you like that or not. and I, personally, will not apologize for wanting to see him with a woman in the game, whether she's cis or trans. Kerry would go for either. the way his preference is portrayed in the game, zero explanation and reason, making it look like he's gay and always has been, is the developers' fault.

(should I remind y'all again that bisexuality is a spectrum?)

[utilitycaster]

To expand that point about queerphobia (also, to an extent, gender equality) from the tags on someone else's post and sort of tying it back to my post yesterday about wanting to see characters work through similar experiences: I think it makes a lot of sense in the case of Exandria and Hale to build a world that does not have queerphobia and to allow people to choose to insert it if that is something their table wishes to explore. It's very much a case of wanting to build a diverse but non-utopian world that is welcoming to a wide variety of players.

I think it's a very understandable urge to want to see characters deal with the same challenges we face, and I think there are TTRPG settings that have done a good job depicting homophobia or transphobia; it's present though not common in Fantasy High, and The Unsleeping City is very close to the modern-day real world and has, well, period-typical attitudes.

The reason I get frustrated when it comes up in discussion of Exandria, and now Hale is that it's almost always used for one of two reasons: explaining why people (either specifically or generally) don't like a character; or even more frequently, explaining hesitancy between two characters in a ship. It's a convenient way to say "this person is oppressed or afraid for reasons that are objectively in no way their fault and which make the people who dislike them objectively bigoted and wrong". The problem is, while that's a valid story to tell it's often really not the story the cast is telling with these characters. Even more frustratingly, it often is used to steamroll other stories that may place those characters in just as innocent a position.

Some good examples in which this has happened in the fandom are Jester and Dorian. Jester lives on the Menagerie Coast, which is referred to a pretty wide variety of materials as being a place that is especially trans friendly (in a world where trans and nb characters already frequently occupy prominent positions and are not depicted as experiencing pushback). Her mother, a courtesan, indicates that she takes clients of varying genders. The biggest influences on her life are her mother and an otherworldly fey entity who famously can shapeshift. There is absolutely no canonical evidence that Jester would be unaware of the broad range of genders and sexualities in the world nor that she would feel obligated to embrace one that she is not; in fact there is quite strong evidence to the contrary. But if you claim that she's experiencing compulsive heterosexuality, it excuses you from having to consider that Jester is genuinely not interested in Beau, or at the very least is genuinely interested in Fjord.

Similarly, it was, at least prior to the reveals of early Campaign 3, common to headcanon that Dorian had run away from his parents because he was trans and they were transphobic. A trans reading of Dorian is still obviously entirely valid, but he left because his parents were suffocating and overbearing and often pit him against his brother. Dorian is still absolutely the victim in this! It's a valuable thing to relate to for people who have experienced parental abuse and impossible expectations. But it does still force you to think about Dorian's parents as complex people who came to this conclusion of childrearing (even if they are still in the wrong) and not just mindless bigots to be disregarded. And I think the former is nearly always a better story than the latter.

What also frustrates me is that this rarely works through the ramifications. The systemic queerphobia that would be required to put compulsory heterosexuality in place still exists once someone overcomes that and comes out; but that never comes into play when people are talking about the ship, because it's only ever used to explain why the ship hasn't happened yet, never as a significant part of the world that would affect the characters throughout their entire lives.

These are only two examples; there are countless others, some particularly egregious (*cough* Essek comes from a society that explicitly believes in reincarnation across bodies of varying genders and the queen for eternal life is in a lesbian relationship, I promise you his fraught relationships with his parents are way more complicated than simple homophobia or transphobia) but all of which seek to incorporate bigotry not as the destructive and deadly phenomenon it is, to be explored in the safe space of fiction, but as an incredibly lazy shortcut to be discarded as a continuity error once it's served its purpose.

[masochist-marmot]

I hate the Naoto gender discourse

TW: transphobia, gender dysphoria, Naoto Shirogane

First of all, I think it's entirely valid to read whatever you want into fictional characters. Art is meant to be interpreted and to evoke something in the audience, and while it's useful to consider the author's intent, it's just as valid to interpret the text on its own.

In Persona 4, the intended reading is this: Naoto is and has always been a girl who wishes to be taken seriously in her male-dominated field. She confuses these feelings for identifying as a boy, and it's up to our party to set her back on the straight path and accept her role as young woman. Rise is incredibly eager to chastise this "young lady" immediately after learning about the reality, and throughout the game we are helping her to be more comfortable with being a girl. This is quite straightforwardly what the text is saying.

How many fans (me included) see the text is this: Naoto displays signs of gender dysphoria and struggles with their gender identity. Even after you have talked them out of a literal gender-affirming surgery (performed by a mad scientist, because why not make it extra scary to boot), they continue to present as a boy. During the rest of the game as well as Naoto's social link, you and your party can continue to push femininity on them. They're forced into a swimsuit contest, where they refuse to show up on the stage, and Yosuke says he knew it would happen. If you want to date Naoto, you have to pick the options where you tell them you like them as a girl, even though you get more social link points if you say their gender doesn't matter. This implies that Naoto is more comfortable with the way they present now, but feels that they have to present more feminine if they want to date you (which sounds like heteronormative bullshit to me). It's probably not difficult to see why this would make some players uncomfortable.

Now to the point of this post: There's a big (or just vocal?) portion of the fanbase that will call you media illiterate or delusional if you bring up your discomfort with how Naoto's gender was handled. And I can't stand it. As I demonstrated above, I know what the text is saying and have a problem with it. Media literacy isn't just about recognising what is being said, but also why it's being said. And Naoto's character arc displays well intentioned ignorance and heteronormative values at best, and malicious TERF-like ideology at worst. I'm inclined to believe it's the former, as the game and the series more widely don't seem to have a malicious intent behind them, although they certainly have other uncomfortable parts (I could make a very similar post about Kanji).

So why do so many people have an issue with the trans Naoto reading? Well, in games like these, players tend to form strong emotional connections to the characters. I'm guessing that for a lot of people it's important that their waifu is, well, a waifu. (I'm personally too pan to understand this and will advocate using "waifu" as a gender neutral word.) I'm sure some of it is annoyance with the notion of the interpretation contradicting with canon, which is apparently law. People feel like you're projecting something onto the text and not getting the intended meaning. Which feels like a weird point, since everyone is projecting some of their own feelings onto any text. And then there's your good old transphobia that manifests as a myriad of rationalisations (including the one about canon being law). I usually try to understand where people are coming from, but some people can't be reasoned with.

I don't have a conclusion, I just had to get this out.

TLDR; Stop bullying people who choose to view a character through a different lens than you do, and please practice your empathy and critical thinking skills.

[tismtron]

can I ask for specific hcs? (ex trans characters or sth like that)

I want to make this to what I personally see while also keeping it to character I can. Like for example I don’t think mean little teenage boys from the 90s to early 2000s know what demiromantic means nor are going to know that theres more than two genders. Much less grown ass men who canonically have Facebook. Just a pet peeve

Hyperspecific or weird headcanons

Bill Dickey

•He is a dictionary definition of a sociopath or has antisocial personality disorder; but has never been to the doctors to be diagnosed. He wouldn’t even think there’s anything wrong with him either nor would think he would have any symptoms, even when they heavily show up a lot.

•symptoms of antisocial personality disorder are characterized by: those with antisocial personality disorder tend to lie, break laws, act impulsively, and lack regard for their own safety or the safety of others. Which we see him do by lighting himself on fire to intentionally burn down the comic shop and everyone in it.

•His overall lack for empathy for others is very prominent from the beginning to the end of the comic series.

•He is not gay, but he isn’t straight either. His hatred and Blanton misogyny towards women compared to his almost religous idolization fictional men is something that speaks for itself.

•Deep down he is aromantic. Though I doubt he would find out about this for himself until he’s seventy-five years old or dead in the grave. He dreams and yearns for sexual intimacy but doesn’t want to actually achieve it with a person in real life. He sees sex more as a social status to achieve than something you do with your partner in a romantic relationship.

•my most extreme head canon I mentioned in my general head canon post was that his parents are divorced and his mother has full custody of him and his sister.

•His father used to be very abusive to him and his sister but neither of them really registered that ‘violence and beating each other is bad’ and that’s why they are so violent towards each other and just physically aggressive in general. Also gives a reason why we never see his father.

Jerome Stokes

•is neurodivergent, more specifically having verbal stimming and stutters when trying to say the letter B. Jerry is more high-functioning on the ASD spectrum.

•Hates having his clothes wet, some clothing material like polyesters or cotton and can’t stand certain smells and lights because of sensory issues. But with his friends or if had partner was around him when he was having sensory problems he would mask and try to thug it out even though he is having a mental breakdown internally.

•It would take a lot for him to even open up about his feelings because he emotionally shuts himself off when his with the club members to get less hurt when they shit on his interest in fantasy or get into fights verbal and literal fights.

•Lives with his mother and father but they’re very religious and conservative so they don’t support his fantasy hobbies at all but let him indulge thinking “it’s just a phase”. They don’t really know how to live with the fact he is neurodivergent, specifically his mother. His father works a job with long hours so he is rarely home, if he is home he’s not awake half of the time. So his mother helicopters him and coddles him when he doesn’t need to be.

•The most open minded person of the group, but will follow in the clubs behaviors because he doesn’t want to be excluded or not have friends despite the ones he has right now are god awful.

•Has definitely was sent to Christian camp over the summer in middle school. His mom has found some of his fantasy porn stash in his closet and thought he was going astray from god.

Josh Levy

•Josh is a collective turned organized hoarder and over consumer. He canonically stated in the comics how he lost the passion in his hobbies and now just grasps at any collectibles he can find just to have them.

•sort of a sudo-masochist. Like he would never enjoy pain for his own pleasure but he’d know when he’s miserable and is aware what he does isn’t healthy, but continues to do it because he’s already in the deep shit of it.

•speaking of shit, the fact he only eats certain food products because they have collectibles even though he hates the food and has horrendous bowel movements on the regular makes him so much more sadder because he is willing to borderline torture himself just to collect.

•He comes from a Jewish family and a very religious family at that.

•he has naturally curly hair but he doesn’t shower almost at all so his curls turn into a greasy oily slick mop of a ponytail.

•moles and birthmarks all over his body.

•secretly closeted gay, and has probably online dated with men but will die in his grave than come out to his friends or loved ones.

Pete Dinunzio

•Pete is seen to have some anger issues in the pilot and in the comics like bill, but his anger derives from a sense of justice and fairness (though only when it benefits him).

•lives with a very strict and intense father and a couple older brothers, along with his more lenient mother.

•closeted gay but is homophobic to out gay people because he can’t process his own turmoil and eternalized homophobia. (his family is catholic Italian New Yorkers they probably don’t fuck with gay people.)

•Pete is impulsive and vain. Not thinking about the consequences of his choices like the other boys but his hobbies do take a toll on him more differently than the other three. when he gets older he thrives in an environment where they enable his worst habits and addiction to the point where he is a assistant producer in snuff films, horror porn, etc.

•you could hold the argument where Josh has a similar path in his career as swell, but Josh is only and editor while Pete is a co-producer. Having a higher job title and embedding the fact that this is no longer a new he hobby but apart of who he is in the worst way possible to where he is taking sexual advantage of the women who work for him.

•He wants to be covered in tattoos when he’s older with full sleeves and everything, but in his later years has a couple of five to eight tattoos scattered over his body.

•this is very much a stretch but I think he warms up to people like rigby from regular show. (stay with me-please) He is very distant and mean at first but if he warms up to you he will grow to be very loyal towards you.