#I have no idea if those rumors are even true all I know is apparently the actress is doing something else rn?

[freewayshark]

Something I am interested in is if rumors are true and Natalia’s not back at all for this season, HOW is that breakup going to be handled given the little to no time jump? I mean obviously it will be handled by Buck saying they broke up but what I mean is what could have changed from the characters’ standpoint from where we last left them to however quickly after that 7.01 will take place?

I’m just gonna need a little more than a generic “we just didn’t work” or whatever. I want something juicy!

[fairyofhee]

ONE OF YOUR GIRLS.

PAIRING. heeseung x afab!reader

SYNOPSIS. It was difficult to contradict the rumors of you being obsessed with Lee Heeseung. But it was all true that you had a huge crush and a few wild fantasies about him. You were aware of his infamous reputation of how many girls he’s taken to his bed, yet you still wanted to be one of his.

WARNINGS. angst, fluff, contains smut! MINORS DNI. first time, fingering, unprotected sex, pull-out method. 7k words.

It started happening a few days ago when you heard the whispers of people making unsettling remarks about you. Apparently, you were obsessed with Lee Heeseung.

But the rumors were not true. You barely acknowledged Lee Heeseung’s existence, you certainly do not have the biggest crush on him, and most definitely didn’t have the fantasy to fuck him. These are wild statements to come out of someone’s mouth, but those were just rumors.

Well, that’s what you wanted people to think. It’s true that you have a crush on Heeseung, a huge one that gives you constant butterflies, in fact. It started off as small feelings in middle school because you just found him cute. Then in high school, you started to gain real feelings, an admiration for him. He was the smartest dude in school, the captain of the basketball team, and he was always soft spoken and sweet to anyone he talked to. It was impossible not to fall for him.

With all these years of having these feelings, you barely talked to him, even if being in the same circle of friends. Though, things started to change this school year. The friend group started to hang out often since ways would be parted for college next year. You and Heeseung started talking more and you even got to know each other better, which made you hopeful for something more.

But soon, you were met with bitterness, a feeling close to heartbreak. He started getting distant from everyone — especially from you. You overheard from the chatters around school that Heeseung was a major fuckboy now who slept with the girls at school. You never judged him, despite the aches in your chest that it caused.

The girls who slept with him would brag about how good he was. Heeseung, the sweet guy he is, was the sweetest in bed. And as much as it tarnishes your self worth and disregards the deep feelings you have, you didn’t mind the idea of being his just for one night, let alone a few hours.

You just wanted to be one of his girls.

You slammed your locker closed and was met with Heeseung who had a sly grin on his face.

“So, should I take you to my place tonight? Or do you prefer if I take you on a date first?”

You haven’t talked to him in a week and there was no doubt that he heard about the rumors — the rumors that he had no idea were true.

“What are you talking about?” You said with a hint of defensiveness. You quickly softened your expression to make up for your attitude, you were just tired of everyone talking about you.

“Nothing,” Heeseung shook his head, “I’m just teasing you. I heard what people are saying.”

“None of it is true,” You lied.

He let out a low laugh, which caused your heart to drop in fear. “It wouldn’t be so bad if they were.”

You gently push his shoulder and Heeseung quickly gets rid of the smirk on his face. “Stop joking around, a lot of people are already on my ass about it. And everyone knows you have a different girl in your bed every week, it just makes me seem twice as desperate.” You playfully say, taking the situation less seriously as Heeseung is.

You watched as his gaze fell to the floor. Were you wrong to bring up his reputation?

Heeseung scratched his head before meeting your eyes, “It’s just rumors and they will go away soon,” he spoke matter-of-factly.

“I’ll see you tonight at the bonfire?”

You scoff and shake your head. “I probably won’t go anymore because of what people are saying.”

He notices hurt evident on your face, but he smiles anyway. “If the rumors aren’t true then don’t let it bother you,” he takes a step closer and you start to feel your heart pound. “I’ll try to find out who started it, but I better see you tonight.”

At that he leaves, and there it was, the feeling of butterflies floating around in your stomach. His assurance makes you feel better.

It was impossible to hide how widely you smiled and how heated your cheeks felt. He was just being a kind and caring friend, yet it was impossible not to fall for him.

Bonfires were held by the school to celebrate the wins of the basketball team. You always had a great time hanging out with your friends, meeting new people, and supporting the team. Though, it also wasn’t fun to always watch the team captain stick his tongue down someone’s throat and completely disappearing before the night ended.

You decided to attend the one held tonight, although things would be different. There will be people who are constantly going to talk about you or maybe even say things directly to your face.

On the way to the bonfire, you thought about the last words Heeseung said to you at school before he left your locker. These stupid remarks that people are saying will eventually go away. But you still had no idea who would start these rumors.

You thought that you hid your feelings pretty well by not telling anyone, not even your closest friends. Maybe you were just too obvious.

“What if someone humiliates me tonight?” You walked down the beach with Hana, having a churned feeling in your gut.

“We’re not gonna let that happen,” Hana softly says while wrapping a blanket around you. “The boys will literally kick someone’s ass, you know how protective they are of you.”

You thank Hana for helping you ease up. You let go of your uneasy thoughts, Heeseung is expecting to see you which matters right now.

“You guys made it,” Jake got up from his seat to hug you and Hana. You look around and take in your surroundings. There were more people than you expected. Sunghoon and Jay were sitting down around the campfire along with a few students from school that you recognized.

Noticing that Heeseung wasn’t here, you press your lips in a small frown, already thinking about the worst of where he may be.

“Where’s Heeseung? Did he already leave with someone tonight?” You ask Jake in a playful manner, preparing your disappointment if he already had disappeared with someone else.

“No,” Jake laughed, “The basketball team snuck in booze so he’s helping with that. He’ll be back.”

You nod and try to hide the evident sigh of relief that was let out. “Forget that I asked,” you laughed before going around the campfire to greet Sunghoon and Jay.

“Are you okay?” Jay asked. “I’m fine, I’m just gonna hang for now and probably get a drink later,” you said, taking a seat in an empty space. You recognize the person sitting to the left of you, he was definitely a player of the basketball team.

“Hey, aren’t you suppose to help-“

“Have you fucked the captain yet?”

You heard the boy say as his lips turn into a sneer, and you started to chuckle nervously, the question catching you off-guard but it was expected right? You and your obsession with Heeseung was the talk of the town this week.

“Are you seriously asking me that?” You groaned out. Before the boy could answer, he was lightly smacked in the head. “Hey, leave her alone,” announced a familiar voice from behind you.

It was Heeseung with an agitated look on his face, and you couldn’t help but feel your lips slightly upturn into a grin. You watched as Heeseung took a seat, separating you and his teammate.

The action made your heart warm.

“When did you get here?” The irritated look on his face changed as he smiled fondly.

“I just got here with Hana.”

Heeseung nods before initiating small tension of silence. You notice him carefully bringing his stare to you. It was as if he using his eyes to trace every detail on your face and this freaked you out.

“Is there something on my face?” You questioned anxiously, hoping that you didn’t actually have anything on your face because it would be embarrassing, especially in front of your crush that you’re trying to impress.

Heeseung shook his head and chuckled. “No, I’m just glad you’re here,” he softly said.

A shit eating grin appeared from his response and you were flustered, your face possibly super red.

“Am I missing something?” You giggled, in disbelief of the words coming out of his mouth.

You were happy to know that he’s glad to see you, you actually wanted to scream, but you were also a bit confused on why he suddenly felt this way.

He was a fuckboy and this was probably his way of taking his girls to bed, not that you minded because this is what you want — a chance to be his for one night, but something felt off.

“All of a sudden you’re happy to be around me,” you lightly shrugged while taking a moment to get lost in his wide eyes, “What’s going on?”

His throat bobbled before he forced out a laugh, “Nothing’s going on. I just wanna make sure you’re doing okay after what people are saying.”

You didn’t know why, but you had a hard time believing him. You had a feeling that he wasn’t telling the truth. “Thank you-“

“We’re gonna play truth or drink.”

You drew your attention away from Heeseung when Hana was in front of you.

“I’ll pass,” you tell her.

Hana crosses her arms and pouts, “Just play for one round then you can go back to- whatever,” she turned her gaze to Heeseung who was awfully sitting closer than you remember. Hana notices the close proximity but doesn’t comment on it, instead, she’s waiting for you to answer.

“Why are we playing truth or drink?”

Hana grins, “The boys suggested it because they’re bored and the booze hasn’t kicked in yet.”

“Fine, but just one round,” you warn.

Hana happily takes a seat next to you with Heeseung still on your left. You watch your friends and a few familiar people around the campfire get comfortable before the game starts.

“Heeseung,” Sunghoon managed to get everyone’s attention, “Can I ask you first?”

You turn to face Heeseung who swallowed as he sat up to unintentionally fix his posture. “Sure,” he said without hesitation.

“Alright, let me think,” Sunghoon muttered.

“When was the last time you slept with someone?” There was a hint of tease in his voice.

Heeseung eyes got a bit wider while the question caused the others to ‘ooh’ like children. You, however, felt your stomach twist. You were curious, but also didn’t need a reminder that the guy you have feelings for is sleeping around with most of the girls at school but you.

You feel your brows furrow when Heeseung locked eyes with you for a moment before he finally spoke out his answer. “A month ago.”

You tried to give out a quiet laugh, but Heeseung heard and quizzically tilted his head at your reaction. “You’re lying,” you murmured.

Heeseung peered intently at you, he was taken aback. “It’s the truth,” he cleared his throat.

You almost feel bad, but you skeptically stared at him, “I have a hard time believing that.”

His expression turned into a more serious one, and you suddenly felt a sense of nervousness wash over you. Have you struck a nerve?

“I’m sorry,” you said as he went silent, “It’s just hard to believe that the biggest fuckboy at school would go a month without sex.”

You and the others who heard everything shared a look as Heeseung snickered. You turned to face him and this time he was closer. There was an uncomfortable closeness. He was intimidating, and you felt your breath hitch, regretting the words that came out of your mouth.

“How many times are you gonna mention me being a ‘fuckboy’ and the girls in my bed?” The change of tone in his voice was almost scary.

“I shouldn’t have said that,” You shake your head and try to apologize. You acted out of jealously and bitterness. “Heeseung-“

“I answered. Who’s turn is it?” he interjected while looking around to continue the game. Thankfully, no one made a single comment to what was heard. Jake proceeded with the game by asking the girl next to him a question.

You cursed under your breath knowing that it was wrong to not believe Heeseung’s answer and to bring up his reputation about his sex life. Not wanting things to be weird, you attempt to apologize again but was met with hard silence.

After a moment of listening to your friends play the game that you forgot was occurring, Heeseung finally looks back at you and there was something in his gaze you had never seen.

“Are you jealous because you want to fuck me?” He mutters lowly for only you to hear.

You freeze completely.

The intensity in his stare and the sensual tone in his voice made you feel something that you have never felt before when he spoke to you.

“T-that’s not true,” you stuttered, trying to ignore how hot your ears and cheeks felt.

You felt as if you were caught and the truth of yours was finally going to come out. You weren’t ready to tell Heeseung about your feelings, you weren’t even sure if you’re going to confess.

“I know,” Heeseung softly lets out with a quick change of expression. He grins, noticing your flushed face. “I’m sorry, it was just a joke. I just like seeing you flustered,” he admits.

You playfully push his shoulder just as you did when he was at your locker earlier today. You let out a huge sigh of content that he wasn’t super pissed about the comments you made. But why was he always playing around with you?

“Y/N, your turn.” Someone from your class blurted out which caused your head to shoot up.

“What’s your question?” You uttered.

Your classmate took a pause to think of a suitable question to ask. “Are you currently seeing or dating anyone?” They finally spoke.

“I am not,” you said easily.

“That’s good to know,” a voice said and you swore it came from the left of you, but you weren’t certain. Suddenly, you notice everyone looking at the boy next to Heeseung, the one who spoke to you earlier, with faces of terror.

“What did you say?” You asked the basketball player with a slight anxious tone to your voice.

Along with everyone around the campfire, Heeseung had his eyes glued to his teammate.

“I said that it’s good to know you’re single,” He said with an exasperated voice.

The comment made you feel a bit irked, but your focus was on everyone whispering and some even laughing before they quickly moved on.

“She’s lying,” you heard another sudden voice blurt out. This time, the voice sounded clear and close. “She’s taken by me,” Heeseung declared, not sparing you a glance.

“What?” You exclaimed, feeling your heart beat rapidly to the point that you didn’t notice Hana trying to speak to you. “Heeseung, stop,” you urged, knowing that he was playing around again.

Heeseung ignored you and instead, nodded his head, “We’ve been dating for awhile now.”

“Stop fucking around again, it’s not funny,” You pleaded while grabbing onto his arm to get his attention. He finally met your eye contact but kept going with his act by appearing to be upset.

“Baby, come on.” He whined out, practically begging with his big doe eyes.

You would usually feel the butterflies in your stomach, but this was different. You started to wonder why he treated everything as a joke. And it wasn’t his fault that he wasn’t aware of your feelings, but he was really torturing you.

“Is that why you made up those rumors?”

Heeseung glanced over your head as your eyes widened at the sudden statement. You turned around and surprise crossed Jake’s face.

“You made things up to soft launch your relationship?” Jake continued, directly speaking to Heeseung.

You take a second to process Jake’s words and the look Heeseung gave him. All you can do is inquisitively raise your brow at Heeseung, while trying to get rid of the huge lump in your throat.

“What is he saying?” You softly asked, trying to ignore the heavily feeling in your chest. Heeseung opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it.

“You made up those rumors?” You raised your voice, trying to get an answer out of him, but there was nothing so you get up from your seat and stand before him.

“Do you know how many people at school have humiliated me?” You choked out as the realization hits you. You were betrayed by your own friend who happened to be the one guy that you have intense feelings for. “Why did you do it?”

“Y/N, I’m sorry,” Heeseung stands and attempts to hold your arm but you quickly pull away.

You shook your head fervently, “That’s all you have to say? Why are you doing this to me?”

Lee Heeseung always gave you a sense of what heartbreak felt like. The way most girls had a taste of him and how he betrayed you.

Was it wrong to not believe that he was hurting you? Maybe you were obsessed with him.

“I’ll bring you home,” Hana reaches out for your hand and leads the way to the car, both of you leaving the bonfire after saying quick goodbyes to your confused friends. You felt humiliated enough and just wanted to go home.

You hear Heeseung practically chasing after you, “Wait,” he pleads, voice cracking lowly.

“Why did you do it?” You let out, blinking back incoming tears because you weren’t going to cry.

“You’re always fucking around with me and I didn’t do shit to you,” the pain in your voice was so evident that Heeseung shook his head, an array of emotions flurrying across his face.

“I didn’t mean to humiliate you,” he gently said.

As much as it hurts, you said nothing and got inside the car, leaving Heeseung feeling like complete shit. You repeatedly asked the same question, yet it was always dodged. To you, it wasn’t worth to fight for an answer anymore.

On the way home you confessed to Hana about your crush. She wasn’t all that surprised because yeah, you were just too obvious about it.

Now you were in bed, trying to forget all that is Lee Heeseung, but it was too damn hard. Your stupid crush as you call it, felt more than a simple crush. That invisible pull he had on you was too strong and it seemed impossible to move on.

You wonder if he were ever going to apologize, were you going to forgive him quickly?

The thought of moving on continued until you felt your eyes closed and drifted to sleep. But suddenly, you heard a few taps on the window which caused your eyes to snap open.

Surprised and super tense, you ran to your window and hesitatingly open your blinds to reveal Heeseung standing outside on your balcony. He had that same look on his face when didn’t spare him a chance to speak before getting inside the car. You open your window to let him in, praying that you weren't loud enough to wake your parents up who were asleep down the hall.

“You scared me,” you whispered, watching him enter your room through the window with ease. You quickly cross your arms, feeling a bit exposed in just silk pajama pants and a tank top.

“What are you doing here?” You panic as he scans your room. “My parents are sleeping and-“

“I’m sorry I made up those rumors,” he interrupts, face dropping in hurt as he stands before you. You narrowed your eyes at him, realizing how close he was standing. It was difficult to keep your heart steady, you didn’t even have time to process that Lee Heeseung was in your room.

“Why did you do it?” You ask the same question once more, hoping he answers this time.

“I did it because I wanted your attention,” his throat bobbles. “It’s actually really fucking stupid,” Heeseung sighs hard as you attentively listen, not fully understanding his words.

“I like you a lot and I thought that these rumors would bring us closer together,” he confesses. “It’s so stupid, I don’t know why I thought that.”

Your breath hitches as your arms drop. This new information is hitting you with surprise, causing you to take a tentative step forward, “You like me?” You couldn’t believe him.

Heeseung nods, “I’ve liked you for a while,” he huffs and glances away. “I started sleeping around to distract myself from you, and I tried getting rid of my feelings because I knew you wouldn’t like me back,” a laugh was let out.

Your mouth falls open, but you were speechless. The boy you’re practically in love with is reciprocating his feelings and he left you momentarily stunned as if a sudden jolt of electricity had coursed through your veins.

“Heeseung,” you shake your head, having a difficult time comprehending what you’ve heard.

“Wait,” he brings both hands to each of your bare shoulders. “It’s true that I’ve stopped seeing other girls. Whenever I was with them I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” he pauses and grins for a moment, “So I had to stop.”

“You sound insane right now,” you let out without thought and he sighed with a nod, “And you made me look like a fool and an obsessive freak.”

He nodded again while removing his hands, “I know and I’m really sorry for doing that to you. And I’m sorry for what I pulled at the bonfire, it was wrong to lie like that in front of everyone.”

You crossed your arms, “The rumors you said-“

“What I said about you was fucked up.”

A frown fell upon him as you stare into his eyes. You knew he was genuine with his words — he wouldn’t have snuck into your room and risk getting you both caught if he wasn’t.

You slowly step forward, cupping his face with a hand and taking the chance to finally close the gap between you two, capturing his lips in a kiss. You heard him let out a gasp when he felt your lips on his. Heeseung easily melts into you while returning your kiss, and you can’t help but smile, finally kissing him after wanting him for so long.

You were the first one to pull away when air became necessary, “What you said was all true.”

He furrowed his brows, unable to find words to say anything. The redness of his ears makes you giggle, it was cute to see how shy he was.

“I like you too and I thought about being with you,” you interlock your hand with his, never leaving his gaze. “I thought about it a lot actually,” you remove the hair in your face, “Whenever I heard that you were with someone else.”

Heeseung tried to gather the courage to speak. According to his words, he’d never thought that you would feel the same way. To express what he was feeling inside, he brought his lips to yours for a quick kiss before pulling away.

“What fantasies do you have of me?”

The question causes you to hide your face in embarrassment, but Heeseung quickly removes your hands, regretting his pestering remark.

“I’m truly sorry, I’ll make sure people at school will stop talking about you. I did something very shitty and you don’t deserve it,” he admits.

“I forgive you,” you bury your face in Heeseung’s shoulder, “Only because I’m an obsessed freak.” You joke hastily causing him to chuckle fondly.

After a moment of being in each other’s embrace, you stare into his vulnerable eyes, allowing yourself to act on your feelings. “I want to be yours. I always have,” you beamed.

Heeseung understands quickly, because he also has always wanted to be yours. His eyes fluttered closed as he pressed his lips against yours softly.

He kissed you gently and slow, until he’s suddenly attacking your lips, and you feel both of his large hands cupping your small face. He licks your bottom lip for permission to shove his tongue inside your mouth and you accept, both of you fighting for dominance. It was like a reflex with the way you grabbed onto his hair.

You felt his hand slip under your tank top and he grabs your breast, kneading it gently. A loud exhale leaves your mouth, his touch igniting you.

Heeseung quickly broke away from you and nuzzled your temple before taking a deep breath then sighing, “We don’t have to go all the way.”

“Lee Heeseung turning down sex?” You tease him and he laughs before kissing you once more.

“I didn’t come here expecting something to happen. You’re special to me.”

His declaration makes your hurt flutter and creates an uncomfortable feeling between your legs. “I want you,” you tell him.

Heeseung freezes.

“Have you done it before?” He takes your hand.

You hesitate before shaking your head, “I’ve did other things before, but I’ve never gone all the way with someone.”

Your response makes him pause.

“Then it shouldn’t be with me,” he says before withdrawing his touch and taking a step back.

You grab his arm, refusing him to walk away, “Hey, I want it to be with you. I don’t care about how many other girls you’ve had, that’s not important,” you tell him. “Heeseung, please.”

It felt like a long time waiting for him to say something. Finally, he speaks up, “If we do this then I want you to tell me to stop when you want me to,” his voice is uncharacteristically quiet.

“Okay,” You nod your head accordingly.

“But we can’t be too loud, your parents are down the hall,” he amusingly smiles.

You nod your head one more time as he searches for any last signs of you wanting to back out. His hot breath fanned on your face as you pull him closer by his shirt.

He leans further down to press a trail of kisses against your jaw as you take a deep breath before tugging at the end of his shirt while his hand slides under yours, cupping your breast firmly this time. Heeseung removes his shirt, revealing his exposed chest as you take off yours.

You watch him take a step back to admire you, which leaves your face flushed with heat.

“You’re perfect,” he says, and all you could do is smile because you notice the tent in his pants.

Heeseung wraps his arms around your waist and shoves his tongue back inside your mouth. You rub your thighs together feeling yourself getting soaked, you wanted to feel him already.

When you wrap your arms around his shoulders, you can’t help the way your body reacts to him as you attempt to rub yourself against him.

Heeseung notices this and instead of letting you continue, he slides a hand inside your pants and between your legs to spread your slick while also pressing the heel of his palm on your clit.

“That feels good,” you groan out, still attempting to press against him. When you succeed, a small grunt leaves his lips. “Does it?” He says coyly while curling his long fingers inside you.

You don’t answer him and it’s because he’s hitting your sweet spot, making you unable to speak. He fastens his pace and you feel your orgasm approaching, “H-Heeseung, I’m so close,”

He relentlessly rubs circles around your clit, reveling in the pretty noises coming out of your mouth. You feel your thighs shaking as you continue grinding against him, and it was becoming too much until you let out your release, holding onto his biceps to steady yourself.

After retracting his fingers and wiping them clean on his pants, Heeseung easily picks you up from off the ground and props you on your bed. He grabs the band of your pants to pull them down before quickly slipping off your panties. You impatiently lay there, waiting for him to undress.

He starts to strip off his pants by unbuttoning the buttons, his boxers followed by it. The sight of his cock leaking with precum caused your eyes to widen. He was pretty, prettier from what you’ve seen before, and you can’t help but feel nervous as to how he was going to fit inside you.

But you trust him and give him a nod to continue because you want this so bad. Heeseung started to stroke himself, and with the copious amount of precum, he was able to glide up and down with ease. The view of Lee Heeseung looking gorgeous on your bed while naked leaves you breathless.

“Shit,” he lets out a panic grunt.

You sit up and notice the worried look on his face, “What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry baby, I-I don’t have a condom,” he mutters, and by the tone in his voice, you could tell that he was freaking out. “I have one in the car, I could run to get it really quick.”

You think about it for a second before shaking your head. Although a condom would be the safest choice, you don’t want him to get dressed just to undress again. Your parents were still in the house, and you were afraid that he’d get caught sneaking back inside.

You also wanted him now, you weren’t sure if you could wait much longer. “You can just pull out,” you suggest and he immediately refuses.

“It’s okay, I trust you.”

“Are you sure? I don’t have a problem getting it.”

You reach for his hand and give it a tight squeeze before nodding, “Yes, I’m sure.”

“Unless you aren’t?” You continue.

Heeseung shakes his head, “No, I’m sure. I want you too, very badly, but I want you to feel safe.”

You lay back down while pulling Heeseung until he’s hovered over you. “I trust you, Hee. It’s fine.”

Heeseung merely tilts his head and lets his smile deepen as he removes the hair in your face to see you clearly. He kisses the side of your mouth then your lips before taking his throbbing length to slowly slide inside you.

With his precum and your dripping core, he is able to slide in easily, but he deliberately takes a slow amount of time, not wanting to hurt you. Your hands desperately grabbed at his bare shoulders, digging your nails in as he slides in deeper. You feel full when he’s only halfway in, and as much as you wanted to him to bottom you out and fuck you relentlessly, it did hurt a bit.

“I’m sorry,” he halts and completely slips out, feeling you slightly shift and noticing the uncomfortable look on your face.

“No,” you grab him by the arm, “Don’t stop.”

Heeseung obliges, lining his cock up with your entrance and gently easing the tip inside. He inched inside deeper and your walls squeezed when inviting him in. Heeseung fully inserted himself into you, causing you to cling onto him and let out a loud whine. He allowed you to adjust as he stretched you out and the feeling felt better than just fingers, you were already addicted.

He grabbed your thighs and grinded himself upwards, placing his dick so deep inside you. Heeseung grit his teeth attempting to hold back his sounds before planting a weak kiss on your lips, never feeling like this with anyone else.

“Does it feel good?” He whimpers, gradually increasing his pace when thrusting inside you.

All he got as a response was moan and he chuckled, finding it cute. You were enthralled, feeling his movements become faster, more ragged and desperate. “It feels- so good.”

Heeseung was watching you with lustful eyes as you took his cock in ecstasy. Your lips met, exchanging warm breaths and loud moans into each other’s mouths as it echoed inside your room. “You feel good, perfectly made for me.”

“I’m glad it’s with you,” You accidentally let out, trying to contain your moan. After hearing your words, he groaned and firmed your hips closer. You feel him increasing his pace, hitting your spot as he slid in and out of you, almost tipping you over the edge. “Heeseung-“ You began.

He lets out a soft grunt before slyly sneaking a hand down to graze your clit. You squeeze your eyes shut and clench hard, his words and warm touch helping you to approach your release.

“Hee, I’m close,” you cry out. He continues thrusting sensually, causing loud sounds to leave both of your mouths at the sensation.

Simultaneously, you both cover each other’s mouths restricting the loud noises so that you wouldn’t wake your parents up. And you release just like that, moaning into Heeseung’s hand.

“Fuck,” he exhaled, “You’re perfect.”

You were dizzy and disoriented, barely making out the words that left his lips as he slows down his rhythm, still fast enough to chase his own release. “I’m gonna cum,” he whined, his fingers gripping your hips almost painfully.

His touch felt amazing and you were vaguely aware of Heeseung pulling out just in time. You groaned, watching as he gasped himself in his fist, pumping himself over your stomach as he painted you with his seed.

His weight gently pushed you flat against the mattress, his puddle of cum sticking on the both of you as you both shook from the intensity of your orgasms. Heeseung pressed small kisses to your shoulders before getting up from your bed and picking up his shirt to clean you.

“Are you okay?” Heeseung asked before rolling to lay next to you. “Does it hurt?”

You shook your head, “It was perfect,” you then plant a small kiss on his lips while removing a piece of his hair that stuck to his forehead.

“You were very sweet with me.”

“I told you that you’re special to me,” he replies, pressing his lips against your forehead.

The corners of your mouth upturned into a huge smile, the butterflies in your stomach were floating around as if they didn’t leave. But in a matter of a quick second, your body language changes into a more stern and stiff manner.

“What’s wrong?” His voice trembled in concern.

A sudden feeling of insecurity hit. Heeseung knew how to make you feel good, it wasn’t like anything you’ve ever felt before and a reason might be because he is experienced, but you wonder if you were able to satisfy him — to make him feel good.

“You were so perfect, I don’t know if you could say the same,” you drop your head in defeat. “I’m sorry if it didn’t feel good to you-“

“Baby, stop talking,” he urges.

“You said that you don’t care about how many girls I’ve been with,” he reiterates. “I don’t care if you’re experienced or not, it was perfect because it was with you. I want to be with you.”

You could feel your voice caught in your throat. The look in his eyes as he declared his words made your heart pound hard in your chest. It feels unreal to finally win over your crush of how many long tumultuous years. After everything, you wonder how lucky you got with him.

And Heeseung was thinking the same thing. He felt lucky to be with you after all of his fuck ups, he was obsessed with you too.

“You’re with me,” you tell him.

“Okay then,” he looks satisfied, “You’re my girl.”

© fairyofhee 2023.

note — thank you for reading! please leave any thoughts or comments, reblogs and feedback is greatly appreciated!

[fatuismooches]

Every time recruits were assigned to a Harbinger, they were required to give a speech to the new agents. It was simply the way the Fatui worked - everyone must be made aware and dedicate themselves to the Tsaritsa's will through working for the Harbingers. The experience varied from Harbinger to Harbinger - if one were lucky enough to be with the Captain, they'd be filled with a sense of pride and bravery, if they had the misfortune of working for the Balladeer, well... one could guess how that goes.

Dottore's orientations were also anxiety-inducing, no doubt, considering the kind of reputation he had. Most recruits prayed day and night not to be selected to work for him. It was a very popular rumor about how easy it was to end up as a test subject of Dottore's. However, what many recruits quickly realized was that... working for Dottore was not as bad as many claimed.

Sure, some segments were definitely more difficult to work with than others, but it was actually preferable to working for certain other Harbingers. Just continue to produce results, and you'll be fine. Surprisingly, there were a sizeable amount of agents who adored Dottore. They would rave about him at any given opportunity to anyone who was willing to listen, and that didn't even include their signature handbook. It was also said that if you truly impressed him, he wasn't picky about rewarding you. Unfortunately for new recruits, they were still unaware of this and were left to shiver with their hearts in their throats, awaiting their impending doom.

Even worse for those poor souls, was that a habit of the segments was that they were notoriously late to these meetings, diving deep into their research and discarding it until the last minute. You learned this through idle conversation with one such segment, Beta, who especially despised this baptism.

"So... you just stood there and gave a speech to them?" You couldn't help but find the idea very funny, considering the kind of man he was. "What are your speeches like? Are you motivational, Beta?" He scowled at your teasing and focused his frustration on his latest creation.

"I don't have the time to waste on foolish things."

"Isn't it a good thing to encourage your employees?"

"This is the Fatui. They know what's expected of them," Beta scoffed as if he hadn't turned certain agents into flying robots in the past.

"Aww, but it sounds fun! I would wanna talk to them like that," you sighed. Most of the time the agents would bow, stutter, and quickly make themselves scarce when they saw you. Certain ones would just stare at you in awe silently as if they couldn't believe their eyes, and then scribble something in their notepad. You were unsure of their motives.

"There's a reason why Prime has never attended one himself ever since he created his first segment. All of us fill up our schedules to avoid it," the segment grumbled. He was the one stuck with the duty today. You only hummed in amusement.

"So when is the next screening of new recruits?"

"Tomorrow morning. Hmm, Omega's turn this time too. He's best at these things, anyway." You smiled as you had a very good idea.

"I'm going to go!"

"Are you now? Have fun." Beta responded dryly. Now that he thought about it, if you were so eager, perhaps he should have brought you to do most of the speaking.

"I will. I'll get them to be the most motivated Fatui agents there is!"

—

For a small group of people, they were starting their mornings with possibly one of the most frightening experiences of their lives. It was only natural for them to whisper to each other, all huddled up.

"I wonder if the rumors about Lord Dottore are true. Is he going to dissect us if-"

"You know what I wonder? What segment of Lord Dottore we'll get assigned to. I heard-"

"He has segments???"

"Apparently, he cloned himself at different stages of his life, so we'll deal with numerous versions of him."

"... As soon as the time comes, I'm putting in a request to transfer out of here."

"And that will be your biggest mistake. Lord Dottore is far more generous than you lot make him out to be."

"Pardon?"

"Lord Dottore is quite frequently praised by many agents around here. You just haven't heard them yet. Furthermore, he'll always appreciate results, regardless of your actions." The Dottore defender passionately gripped his chest. The group looked unconvinced.

"Are you sure they weren't under duress or something...?"

"Well, I've met his spouse once too! And [Name] was as kind as-" The poor agent was interrupted by laughter.

"Spouse? The sun would sooner shine bright in Snezhnaya than Lord Dottore ever being married."

"Is he even capable of love?"

"It's not a lie. Many agents who work for our Lord know them! In fact, they-"

"Ahem! Attention everyone!" A voice sounded in front of the room, that was... definitely not Dottore's. There stood a person who was... definitely not Dottore either. The room went completely silent as they gazed upon your rather proud form.

"You all were expecting Dottore, but I, [Name], will start this thing off first!" The glint of your wedding ring became all too noticeable for the new recruits as your eyes scanned the crowd. "Oh, hey! You're that guy I gave directions to a while back! You really did transfer over, huh!" You gleefully waved to him as he scratched his head, in both embarrassment and honor, and the agents suddenly had a feeling that the man was not lying about Dottore's marital status.

"Anyway, I'm gonna ask you all the question I know you're all thinking about. You're absolutely terrified of Dottore, aren't you?!" You pointed at them while their throats were dry from the situation. After a few seconds, they glanced at each other before nodding awkwardly. You only chuckled as you puffed out your chest.

"Well, I'm going to erase all those fears right here, right now. As the person who knows him better than anyone, I can assure you he's a great Harbinger to work under! And to do that... I'm going to give you all a crash course on Dottore's segments! So go on, ask me anything and I shall deliver!" Your resounding confidence was met with blank stares, save for the new inductee into the fan club.

"Are they really Lord Dottore's lover?"

"Well, they have to be... no one can just walk around casually claiming to be married to him."

"I mean... if someone like Lord Dottore is able to fall in love, then he can't be too bad, right...? We should listen to them."

One by one the nervous agents asked you a variety of questions - how to deal with them, how to tell them apart, what to do if they were annoyed, a few quirks to look out for, the kind of work efficiency he valued, the kind of sweets they most favored when it came time to pacify them- the more you spoke, the more engaged the new recruits got. You were rather proud of your skills.

"And if that wasn't enough motivation for you, do it for him!" In the end, you pulled out your one and only pet, the strange blue fox creature who blinked at the crowd who was loudly clapping for some reason.

"You know, I feel a lot more confident about working here!"

"I told you all, you just didn't believe me," the one fan said, still over the moon. But even amidst the commotion, a pair of shoes neatly echoed throughout the room, causing everyone to nearly fall silent at his presence.

"Oh... that's Lord Omega, right? His mask is black." Said agent got elbowed by another for speaking, as they all bowed lowly in respect. The segment was more interested in what you were doing here.

"... [Name], what exactly is the meaning of this?" The segment studied you carefully - despite your sweet smile, he didn't exactly have the best feeling about this.

"I gave them a speech of course! You need to motivate them more, you know? For the results you love so much! I just decided to do your job for you." Your lover stared at you and then turned his attention to the group who were standing stiffly.

"Is that so?"

"Y-Yes, Lord Dottore."

"Then you are all dismissed." The group blinked before quickly shuffling out of the room, mostly in awe at how casually you spoke to the Harbinger. You really were married...

"Just trust me Omega, those guys will be some of your most hardworking agents!" Omega looked at you thoughtfully - their demeanor did seem much better than when he spoke. But he still had a lingering thought that bothered him.

"[Name], you didn't tell them anything potentially... inappropriate, did you?"

"Inappropriate? O-Oh, of course not, Omega. I merely boosted their spirits into working for you!" You smiled, ignoring how his gaze was boring into you.

"That's all?"

"Yes, that's all!"

"..."

"..."

"Well, actually, I-I may have told them about the sweets thing again- hey- don't get closer!"

[seniswriting]

Compliqué | LN4

Pairings: Lando x Secret Friend!Reader & Lando x Girlfriend!Magui

Summary: Lando was known for his playboy reputation and people thought he just enjoyed being the center of attention, and the thrill of going from a woman to another. In the end, rumors are just rumors and they were never completely true. But such manners can only ever be detrimental to one's life...

Warnings: cheating, a little bit angsty, mentions of drinking and inappropriate themes

Note: This derived so far from what I initially intended to write...

"Don't look at me like that, please..."

He said with a pained expression as he sat on the tiled floor of his bathroom, leaning against the wall. He looked like a wreck. Not a human, but a shell.

I was sitting on the closed lid of the toilet, resting my elbows on my knees, with a glass of water in my hand, while looking down on him with a frown. I hated the sight even though it was nothing too unfamiliar.

I knew he despised it when I gave him those eyes. It felt like a reprimand to him. He knew I was judging him in the slightest, but I didn't mean to make him guilty for having fun. He just pushed it too far tonight. As far as Max Fewtrell having to call me to pick him up, even though he has never even met me before.

"Don't you remember what we talked about? No more using alcohol and sex as means of escapism. Yet, look at yourself."

The words came out harshly, showing just how exasperated I was due to his behavior. Just a month ago, he had promised to never fall into excessive drinking again. But surprise! After weeks of not communicating, the first thing I hear about is him getting shit-faced drunk at Jimmy'z?!

And like every time I have called him out on his attitude and lack of clear judgment, Lando simply glared at me in apparent annoyance. We spent a few minutes staring at each other. The silence was heavy. It was weighed by unspoken complaints from me and baseless excuses from him. As if to make peace, I just gave him the glass of water and stood up.

"I will call Margarida so she can come over and take care of you."

I knew he wouldn't want her to see him like this, but I couldn't just leave him alone and neither could I stay over. And like I knew it would, the protest came out of his mouth the second I mentioned his girlfriend.

"What?! No. Why would you do that!"

I hit the nail. He didn't want anyone to see him in a vulnerable state. He wanted everyone to think he was just a reckless fun guy, not a broken mess hiding behind prodigal tendencies. I didn't know exactly why he drank so much yet. But I had my idea because it was always the same thing. He was lonely. He didn't know why but he was. Despite having so many friends to hang around, he never felt attached to most of them. It were as if all he could make were fleeting connections. As if nobody ever reciprocated his feelings. So he shut most of them down from the public and kept anything too sincere at an arm's length.

How did I figure it out? Ever since we met a year ago, Lando kept me as far as possible from his usual group of friends. I never met them and we rarely talked about them. He rarely sought out for me but when he did, he became a very distinct person from whom he was on the racetrack or whom he was with his friends and family.

He wasn't the sunshine to my shadow. He was as empty as one.

"You can't be left alone like this, and you know it. Have a good night."

I finally stated. I didn't wait for his response. I just walked out of his apartment and if I expected him to chase after me, he didn't.

It wasn't new. It was normal for us. We were the closest sometimes, but most of the time, we were just two people who knew of each other's existence.

I used to want to keep us constant and stable but he told me it was unnecessary. That we weren't meant to be pressured to maintain communication. That we were the best kind of spontaneous, even though it wasn't all that joyous.

We were us, but we weren't together. I was hurt. I didn't let that deteriorate our connection though.

If I called, he would be there. If I didn't, he wouldn't be there. It was simple.

If he called, I would be there. If he didn't, I wouldn't be there but I would always have him in the back of my mind.

That's what I told myself until I couldn't help it. I returned back to my old ways. He didn't question it. He just went with it.

He was right when he said I overcomplicated everything. But didn't he do the same too by running away from his emotions?

A few days following the night I picked Lando up from the club, I sent him a text to check up on him.

He didn't even call me once after I had helped him, but it was normal. We always needed to let things simmer before talking it out. And usually, I was the one in charge of initiating the impending conversation.

"Hey, are you okay? The hangover must've been terrible..."

The key to getting a response from him was to start off sweetly, as if I were sorry for whatever had happened. Then, I would only have to wait for a few minutes before getting a reply.

I was proud of our communication pattern, even though it wouldn't be ideal for anyone else. I cracked the code and I took pride in it. Lando was still a man. He left most women on 'delivered' for several hours before responding; but not me.

I always tried to talk to him at the same time on Friday nights, when I knew he couldn't be drinking. He needed to be sober for his races and time zones were mostly in my favor as it was broad daylight wherever he was.

He was also aware of my texting routine, and it became a silent agreement that he needed to reciprocate my effort of keeping in touch every once in a while, when we weren't pushed together by misery.

However, the latter part never worked because the only thing we could bond over was our personal suffering. And there was no one to blame for our ephemeral status, apart from ourselves.

"Yeah it was bad. Cant believe you left me"

The notification made my screen light up and I was met with the very answer I had expected from him. I didn't believe in matching the energy of your interlocutor, so I stayed true to my typical wording. That was the charm in our relationship, after all. Together, we were ourselves. We didn't need to walk on eggshells. We could set the temperature as we wanted.

"Don't be dramatic. Magui helped you, didn't she?"

"She didnt even come home"

"Oh... Uhm, sorry... Do you want to hang out?"

"Meet me in 5?"

"How do I even get there in five minutes? But sure, just for you xx"

He didn't need to tell me where I was supposed to go. We were familiar to the point most things were unspoken and natural - whether it was bad or not, I didn't care much, we weren't committed anyway.

I arrived at what I had secretly started calling my second home. A place etched with memories of us. A place of comfort for my loneliest moments. It wasn't exactly mine though.

Lando was already there, scrolling on his phone while laying on the large sunbed on the

front dock of his yacht. I quietly went up to him to lay down by his side. He didn't acknowledge my presence for a second, but then he put his mobile down to finally look at me.

We stared at each other in silence before his gaze flickered down; that was when I felt the need to speak up.

"What's happening with Margarida?"

He grimaced at the cold interruption of what he probably wanted to do for quite some time. I was aware of his physical attraction to me, but I didn't want to indulge too much in what a man who had a partner and a million fans had to offer. I was not going to stoop that low; being his friend already seemed scandalous enough for us to keep ourselves in hiding.

"Don't even bring her up right now, love."

Love? That must have been a slip-up but it sounded quite natural to him. But who was he kidding? He was reputed for being a flirt. I wasn't going to let myself be one of his generic victims; so I told him off on the inappropriate use of the nickname, which did not faze him in the slightest. Instead, he joked about my princess side coming out again.

He slowly wrapped his hand around my waist and pulled me close to him. I knew where this was going and I didn't know if I hated or loved it. I felt his hand inch lower and lower, until I stopped him once again despite the tension that had built up in the air. His hand was right on my inner thigh as I looked at him with suspicious eyes. He knew I wanted this though, and the only thing that held me back was my conscience. I wasn't the kind of girl who took any chance she got, especially if the man she loved already had another waiting for him somewhere.

I gently pushed him away and sat up to watch the beautiful sunset view offered by the monégasque coast. He didn't resist it, neither did he complain. He simply mimicked my movements and silently watched as the sky painted the end of another day, of another story.

When the night had completely fallen, a unified sigh escaped our minds. We knew we had to end our journey there. We knew there was nowhere else we could go; that caring so much from the start was a mistake.

We held each other tightly for a moment. We held onto whatever there was left of us.

A tear encapsulating every conversation and every emotion we had ever shared slid down my cheek. It landed in a loud thud on the leather. It felt like a bucket of cold water. We were not what we used to be, and reality finally caught up on us.

It was not about being lonely together anymore. It was not about confessing our deepest pains anymore. We were about to cross a line that shouldn't be crossed. What we thought was sympathy had somehow turned into more than what we could both handle. We started seeking for salvation in each other.

Lingering glances. Crippling tension. Bottled attraction. Little touches. Things we pretended never happened. Everything we ignored slowly burned us down into nothing. And if we didn't want the world to fade away with us, we had to let go.

"Always so damn complicated."

"Only with you."

That was our goodbye. Just like how we started, we ended with no real closure. We walked into each other's life like it was a hotel and checked out, paying the price of a separation that was overdue. It was thoughtless and casually intimate, until it went bordering on the edge of something.

I knew I would fall when he approached me, and I bet he knew he would eventually join me.

Knowing doesn't mean anything though. The theoretical loses on the material. And in reality, the socialite never commits to the prettiest loner.

-

Note: I liked this when I first finished it, but it kind of feels lacking now that I've read it again... I don't know how to feel about it, but I really enjoyed writing this. Don't hesitate to share your opinion, I would love to get some feedback ^^

[judesmoonbeauty]

Miss Fairytale Keeper, Come Have Fun With Us: Jude vs. Nica - Chapter 1

Translations will not include screenshots or CGs as mentioned here. Fan translation only. Not 100% accurate. Please expect grammatical errors. Cybird owns everything. Feel free to re-blog, but please do not post my translations elsewhere. Thank you, for you support! ☾.

Ftn: [1] Guten Abend = Good evening, [2] Rotkehlchen = Robin

We were on a mission at a casino where illegal gambling was rumored to take place.

Jude: Since I’m the only one placin’ bets, don’t get in my way.

Kate: Okay, I’ll just watch from the background!

When I replied to the words he had repeated over and over to me, he smiled crookedly.

Jude: ‘N it’s a good chance extort money.

In this casino, anything from money, land, medicine, people and even organs can be used as a wager.

(The mission this time is to stand out in the casino, and gather evidence.)

In order to do that, we need to come into contact with a man, Viscount Smith, but he only approaches those who are good at gambling.

Jude’s plan to lure him out is to win A LOT, but he prohibited me from gambling…..

(This is probably due to some kind of expectation.)

(Besides, I’m sure Jude will yield better results than I would if I messed up.)

Jude: C’mon.

Kate: Coming!

Just as I placed my hand on the door -

???: Guten Abend. What a nice night. [1]

Kate: Huh?

When I heard the voice behind me, I turned around and saw Nica standing there.

Nica: What are you doing here?

Jude: …What’re you doin’.

-Jude’s expression turned grim as he took a step forward.

Nica: Don’t sound like that, I was just out for a walk.

Nica: This looks like a Crown job, guess I’m right.[2]

Jude glares at Nica who’s smiling happily.

Jude: Even so, it’s none of yer business.

Nica: ….Come on, I just wanted to gamble.

Nica looked at the casino door, and then back at me,

Nica: I won’t get in the way, so let me come with you.

Jude: Huh?

He spoke sweetly, as if to seduce me.

Nica: Hey, rotkehlchen, bring me along. [2]

(Since we don’t know their intentions, it wouldn’t be wise to expose Crown’s mission.)

Unsure about how to respond, I look to Jude.

He furrowed his brow even more, and let out an exasperated sigh.

Jude: …..Do whatever ya want.

I turn on my heel and quickly follow after him.

[The scene transitions to inside the casino.]

Inside the casino, people from all classes, both nobility and commoners, were gambling with a odd excitement in the air.

Kate: Is this okay?

I stretched up and whispered into Jude’s ear,

Jude: It’s fine, we ain’t got no right to restrict their movements.

Jude: As long as it doesn’t even interfere with my mission.

Nica: Casinos are great, they’re the ultimate place where money and power rule.

I shut my mouth as Nica follows me from behind, humming.

Jude: Well then, to sta-

Nica: Ah, I have an idea.

Nica smiled suspiciously as he interrupted Jude.

Nica: Have a game with me, Jude Jazza.

Jude: What?

Jude furrowed his brow deeper.

Nica: I hear you love money, don’t you?

Nica: Apparently, you like making money by collecting debts on the large sums you lend.

Nica: I get it. It’s fun stealing from idiots.

Watching Nica under the shining lights, he rested an expensive-looking necklace on his finger.

Jude: How disgustin’. Can ya join me?

He snorted a laugh and then looked away from Nica.

Jude: Toldja not to get in my way, so go away.

Jude walked over to a poker table, when I tried to follow him, I was prevented by my shoulders being grabbed.

Kate: W-what is it?

As soon as Jude had turned away, he grabbed my chin and forced me to look up.

I gasped at our lips almost touching, and Nica smiled.

Nica: So, how about a kiss from rotkehlchen for the winner?[2]

Nica didn’t miss that I was shaken by his words.

Nica: What’s this? It looks like you want to be kissed now.

Kate: No, that’s not true!

Nica: It’s important for you to lure out Viscount Smith, isn’t it?

(We never spoke to him about the mission….)

I freeze as his lips approach me -

Jude: ….You’re really a troublesome guy.

Before I knew it, I was pulled away by my arm and into Jude’s chest.

Nica: My my, what a shame.

Jude: Why’d ya freeze?

Kate: I didn’t freeze!

My relief was short-lived when Nica approached us.

Nica: Perhaps you’re afraid of losing.

Jude: ……Hah?

Nica: It’s true that I’m good at gambling and I’m good-looking, so it’s no surprise you’d lose.

For some reason, Jude bit at the obvious provocation -

Jude: Sure, if ya say so, I’ll play ya.

Kate: Jude?

Jude: It’ll be faster to swat away those annoyin’ flies buzzin’ ‘round.

Nica: Haha, that’s the spirit.

Nica: The winner gets a kiss from rotkehlchen. It’s a promise.

The battle for my lips had begun.

[Master List] [Next] Dividers: @.adornedwithlight

Tags List: @sh0jun @theimaginativelyreticent @sapphire-323 @letter-from-afar @cosmowgyrall. @lunaaka

Please let me know if you'd like to be added to my tags list!

[thebomb-thebird-andtheburntbitch]

2.3k words- wanderer comes with you on a job. things are likely to go up in smoke.

"this. was such a stupid idea." wanderer hisses from his spot beside you. back pushed against a well-aged stone wall, his hat in his hands since the obscenely round headwear makes hiding behind a wall a very convoluted endeavor.

you, who was standing nearest to the corner of the wall, peaking around it every so often swiveled your chin towards him and brought your finger up to your mouth to harshly shush him.

"i didn't ask for you to come. you invited yourself!" you hiss quietly back at him. the veins in his forehead from your return fire felt like they were around to fry and malfunction.

"no," he rebuttals, "buer insisted." which was... half true.

nahida had caught wind of a very interesting commission posted on behalf of the adventurers' guild on treasure street. something involving old books or scripts and she took a liking to it. 'you already know all of whatever's in those dusty tomes,' he had told her. still, nothing beat recovering the physical wisdom she already had so she could hold it in her small hands and fawn over it... so she claims. that's why he was here in the first place.

going along with whoever decided to take on the job beat out over having to endure her pressing gaze that lit his back on fire. the problem was that you were the one who took the commission.

while he tolerated your presence and didn't dislike you being around or yapping even if he was in a sour mood, when you were working out on the field- even he knew you were a reckless lost cause. did you bring results? yes. but you always found the most ludicrous ways to get there. if he took his eyes off you for a second, who knows what trouble you'd get yourself into.

presently, you and he had successfully snuck into the hideout of which the lost books were rumored to be. an old stone building that once stood as a small manor. the books were rumored to be in the last remaining tower on the east side of the main building; or so says the suspiciously detailed commission. of course, this hideout wasn't without its squatters. treasure hoarders infested the place like worker bees in a hive.

you both had gotten lucky so far. reckless as you are, he was half convinced you'd storm the place, guns blazing and just bull doze yourself all the way through.

as for what was going on around the corner, you were currently listening for the small group of treasure hoarders to pass by; or you would be if your hat wearing companion would stop nagging. shushing him between your teeth once more, you swirl your head away from him. annoyance bit at the back of his neck, still he obliged you by staying silent. one of his feet propped up against the wall behind him as he idled.

the chatter between the men you were both sneaking around faded into a murmur as he watched the back of your head from the corn of his eyes. the adventure's uniform was always tacky to him. apparently you thought so do, if all the changes you've made to yours was anything to go by.

"okay," you whisper. wanderer kicks himself off the wall before placing his hat back on his head with practiced grace. "coast is clear, let's go before someone else comes back around." as you take off around the corner his eyes roll before he's chasing after you.

for all his moaning, the previous nomad had no reason to doubt your skills. you were good as what you did. it was just always more trouble than it's worth sometimes.

with the same tactic of wait, listen, dash and repeat, you both managed to get to the tower and pushed past an old, domed wood door. the spiral of stone steps leading higher into the tower was so visibly unsafe, one wrong step on the wrong piece of rock would send a typical person tumbling all the way back down. of course, if that did happen, wanderer would just latch onto your collar and fly you the rest of the way up by your fabric scruff.

after an annoyingly long trip up in upward circles, you come to another door identical to the one at the bottom. wooden, domed and built with iron latches. twisting the handle and releasing the latch, the door opened, and the scent of dust hit your nose.

you step into the old room that looked like a small library once a upon a time and waved your hand in front of your face to stave off all the dust in the air. you coughed on it as wanderer watched you with crossed arms.

"you're so dramatic," he sassily told you before walking further into the library. a perk of not needing to breath was not caring about dust apparently. your lungs were currently envious of his mechanical innards.

"oh... shu-t up-" you choked, following after him.

the library itself wasn't grand. it was obviously old. cobwebs on the ceilings and in all corners, layers of dust that could easily create a thick quilt if it was all gathered in one place. the room of shelves held so many books draped in peeling covers and age-damage. still, somewhere among them was the books you needed to find.

it took a long time, longer than you wished, and more battles between dust clouds, spiders, and cobwebs that you care to admit, but you had finally found what you were looking for. placing any loose pieces of paper into your satchel on your hip, you take the book and wrap it up in cloth before also tucking it away.

"i think that just about does it." you say, latching your satchel up securely. "let's get out of here before-"

the sound of echoed, rushed footsteps stomping their way up the stairs behind the cracked door of the library interrupted you. spinning around, you faced the door as wanderer clicked his tongue.

"you just had to go and say something dumb."

"why are you blaming me?!" you screech.

"there's someone up here alright!"

one of the owners of the rushing feet shouted. wanderer's glare towards you made you look away quickly with sweat running down your cheek. you were guilty of nothing that he can prove. he stomped over to you and pulled on that cheek, his fingers pinching the flesh as his insides whirled in irritation. "you loudmouth!" through your squinted eyes did you see steam puffing from his mouth?

the cracked door blew open and behind it came rushing in three treasure hoarders. a knife thrower, a burly man with a shovel, and an excentric looking fellow in a red overcoat. 'oh great,' you think.

wanderer releases your cheek as the three men rush in. he grabs your arm and shoves you away from him and kicks starts your legs for you. you duck between the bookshelves as they give chase. the knife throwing man tries his luck, his projectiles lodging into the bookcase just as you find safety behind it. skidding to a swift turn, you counter with your own throwing skills- although with a stray rock on the floor inside of a knife.

a satisfied thunk sounded among the scuffle as the rock struck him on the head and he soon followed it to the floor. he deserves the headache he'll wake up with. your small victory was short as you yelp when the burly man with a shovel swings it and you just barely managed to duck under the woosh of its motion. rolling away from him you run, leading him towards a bookshelf you noticed was unstable earlier. once he was in place, you shoved the shelf with your shoulder, toppling it over the man.

books pelt him before the wooden encasement pins him to the floor. it was just heavy enough to keep him down long enough for an escape. stepping on the fallen shelf, you hear the treasure hoarder groan at your added weight on his back before you were rushing around the library back to the front.

"hey, [wanderer]! we've really gotta go!" you stood still in the library and wonder where the third guy had ran off to. he was the one you were most worried around. the last thing you needed was a molotov being thrown at you. "[wand]-" your second shout was cut off by a blast of wind swishing at your side. once the wind blew past, the sound of shattering glass echoed in the once tidy- but dusty- library. followed by a plume of fire.

"stop shouting! you're just giving yourself away!" you found wanderer at your back the moment you recovered from the sudden burst of air. there was a rumble in the floor caused by his vision as a blast of air sprang up from below the third attacker's feet. it violently burst from below, lifting him off his feet and onto his back.

three knocked down treasure hoarders. nice.

soon, the stairwell begin to fill with more noise. more shouting and stomping just like earlier. as you look over wanderer's shoulder, your voice chokes at the remnants of the flame-fueled molotov he had blasted away from your earlier. this library was the best fire starter in the books! dust, paper, wood. it checks all the boxes. and now you'd have to deal with more treasure hoarders.

"oh, come on!" you groan. wanderer looks behind his shoulder at you. he wonders if you realize that you've grabbed onto his arm or how close your nose was to his cheek at this angle. he clicks his tongue again before looking behind your head.

with his vision against his chest, he lifted his free arm, flinging a slice of air through a small window. the glass shatters, falls outside to the ground and the open air invisibly floods the room. it only adds to fan the flames that were now beginning to eagerly eat anything around it to grow.

moving, and dragging your wrist with him, he jumps up onto a nearby desk just under the now empty window frame.

"don't bite your tongue," he tells you. you look at him like he's nuts before he's shoving you out the window back first. shoving his palms against the front of your shoulders. your arms flail before the view of the library and wanderer, spin and flip to the outside stone of the tower and then the sky. there's a second of skirmishing noise before the sound of wind deafens you.

wanderer is quick to fly out of the window after you. diving down in the air, he swoops his arm under your stomach, securing you to his side. your body folds inwardly due to be stopped at free fall and wanderer takes a full few seconds of levitation before blasting off away from the scene.

"are you crazy?! why did you do that?!" you complain. rightfully so.

"did you want to stay and get burnt to a crisp?!" how he found the audacity to argue with you, you don't know. "we got what we needed anyway!"

"how about a little warning next time?!"

"stop shouting! you'll bite your tongue! don't you listen!"

"I have to shout so you hear me!"

the way he is holding you was backward; your legs were at his front with your arms clutching onto the flapping fabric that dangled on his person. clinging onto him, you watch the tower disappear behind the clearly strategic retreat. observing as smoke begins billowing up in the sky and you wonder if you'd have to include 'the result of the job was a massive fire' in your commission report.

it would break poor nahida's heart to know that so many books were lost to a reckless treasure hoarder who though a fire molotov in an old library was a good idea.

when you finally return to sumeru city and write up your report, your prompt in delivering it to katheryn. you glance over to the puppet who still hadn't dismissed himself back to the sanctuary of surasthana to do his own report back to the dendro archon herself with questioning eyes. was part of his task also to wait until you had submitted a report? what was keeping him?

walking over to his side, you dig the book out of your satchel along with the pieces of loose parchment. you offer them to him.

"do you need to take these back to lesser lord kusanali?" his arms remain crossed along his chest and he makes no move to uncross them to take your items. your chin juts up a fraction as if to tell him 'are you going to take these or?'

without so much as a word, he spins his back towards you. you're about to give him a piece of your mind, when he talks. "give them to her yourself." starting off, he walks further up treasures street, and you were left there flabbergasted. was he going to make you finish this job alone? "are you coming or not?" his voice called from up the slopped roads. he was waiting for you.

'guess he isn't.'

you jog to catch up to him, book clutched to your chest, and he waits until you were beside him to start walking again. just before he moved to open the door to the sanctuary, you stopped him.

"thanks for helping me out earlier." he turned to look at you quizzically. "you know? for deflecting that flaming bottle? it would've sucked if it caught the job items on fire."

"it wasn't a big deal." he turns away again.

"i also appreciate that you didn't let me get hurt."

there was a silence. then, "you're welcome." it was a genuine statement. not a hint of sass. it made you feel pretty proud. "come on." he told you before he's walking inside with you in tow, but not before opening the door for you.

nahida was pleased at the newfound items she could safely store away after thoroughly studying them. but when you informed her that the rest of the library you ventured to in search of those items went up in smoke? lesser lord kusanali wasn't the happiest archon in teyvat about that.

a/n: you'll never guess which scene i rly wrote all this for was- also yes i put [wander] in brackets when reader was speaking bc he's obvious named differently, so its more or less a name placeholder lol

[misc-obeyme]

I love the fat MC headcanons!! 😭😭 Could I request the other brothers as well if this hasn't already been asked?

Wellll okay, I'll do it just for you, anon. <3

Here is part two of the fat MC headcanons featuring the younger brothers. They turned out just as long as the ones featuring the older brothers, but really what did I expect lol. Honestly, I'm really glad you enjoyed the first part, I was pretty nervous about posting it. I miiight be persuaded to do a part three with the dateables...

Anyway, thank you for the request!

younger brothers x fat GN!MC - NSFW MDNI

Warnings: discussion of weight and body image, suggestive content

Satan

He suspects you may have some insecurities, but he doesn't truly understand until you go with him to a few cat cafes. He notices when you won't eat more than one dessert item with your coffee. He also hears you talking to some of the cats, saying things about how they all seem to like you no matter what, how the cats don't judge you because of your weight. He has to fight with himself to stay calm. The idea that anyone has ever made you feel like you were somehow lesser due to your body size enrages him. Starts insisting you have a second pastry any time you're at a cafe, even if you genuinely don't want one. You might have to take a bite just to appease him.

Satan can't help but confront you about it. Did you think he wouldn't notice, MC? He gets that you try to act like it's no big deal, but he's not oblivious. You don't have to hide your true feelings from him. Tell him if you're feeling insecure. Especially tell him if he's somehow contributing to that feeling. He would do anything to make you understand that you're perfect just the way you are.

You'll really see him get angry if you tell him that being in a relationship with him makes it worse. Explain that you worry about what people think when they see you with him. He's so handsome, you're sure people have a lot to say about the fact that he's dating a fat human. He starts to see it everywhere. If a demon so much as looks at the two of you together, he flies into a rage. He won't do anything if you ask him not to, but he will glare down anyone that he thinks is looking at you weird. If he hears a rumor or anyone making fun of you, those demons just disappear one day.

Might lend you spicy books just to see what you think of them, but if you happen to mention that you're too fat to do something that happens in the book, you can be sure it'll be happening to you that very night. Oh do you think you're too fat for him to fuck you against a wall while you wrap your legs around him and hold on tight? Because he's more than happy to prove to you that he can hold you up just fine. You learn to be careful about what you say. He'll know if you do it on purpose, too, but he'll pretend he doesn't.

Asmodeus

He's aware of your insecurities immediately, but it really becomes apparent whenever he takes pictures of you. Whether they're pictures of just you or selfies you take together, you're very particular about the angle he uses. You always want to see the pictures before he does anything with them. You might delete them if you don't like them. When he asks, you say something about how you just think your body looks weird in them. He really starts to get how bad it is when you refuse to model for anything that he's doing in a professional capacity. If you change your mind, he knows you're only doing it to make him happy.

He actually spends some time thinking about how to help you. He doesn't want you to feel so insecure about your size that you let it stop you from doing things. Of course, Asmo decides to make you an entire clothing line. The whole point is to make clothing for larger bodies. He wants it to be a surprise, but he realizes he has to consult you on this. Starts out by showing you his sketches for designs. He loves the way your eyes light up, how excited you get. You tell him all about how hard it is for you to find clothes that fit you. The two of you create a great clothing line and put on a fashion show featuring plus sized models.

Even though you start to feel like he understands, you might still be insecure in a relationship with him. He doesn't really get that at all. He loves you, end of story. He can tell that it's bothering you, even if you don't say anything. Constantly compliments your body as a result, telling you how hot you are all the time. If anyone dares to say anything to you, he immediately eviscerates them with the best insults you've ever heard in your life.

You know this guy is gonna make you have sex in front of a mirror. You can protest all you like, but you have to trust him on this, MC. He wants you to see just how amazing your body looks when you're losing your mind on his cock. The expression on your face, the way your body quivers, he wants you to see it the way he does. You won't feel the same way about yourself when you see how absolutely stunning you are when you're crying out his name.

Beelzebub

He is completely unaware of your body insecurities. In fact, someone else has to tell him about it, since you probably won't do it yourself. One of his other brothers mentions it in passing and now he's thinking about it. He's going to ask you because he doesn't understand. Do you have a problem with your body, MC? Do you have some kind of injury or something? It's almost endearing that he doesn't get that it's a body image issue and genuinely just thinks you're dealing with something physically painful. You are going to have to explain it to him, though.

Your explanation may only baffle him further. Take the time to really tell him why you feel the way you do and he'll begin to understand. Tell him everything because he will patiently listen to all the times you were bullied as a kid, all the times you had to leave a store empty handed because they didn't have your size, the way people don't take you seriously or think you're lazy. Beel just listens and somehow, that alone makes you feel better. He might ask you some questions about food and exercise and how it relates. He's not going to suggest you go on a diet or start an exercise program or anything. He just wants to know if he's doing anything that contributes to your negative body image.

In a relationship, he's direct about the fact that he wants you to love your body. He picks you up all the time. He's more than strong enough to carry you around and he does it constantly, but especially if you say something about being too heavy. He likes to have you sit on his lap, too. He'll pull you into it in the middle of class, he doesn't care what other people think. He likes to feel the weight of you on him. He isn't a demon of many words, but he always takes the opportunity to whisper in your ear about how much he loves your body.

Let's be real, his favorite place to be is between your thighs. And there's no question that this makes you nervous. Not only because you don't want to squash his head, but because he's just so close to them and they're so big. It's one of the things you can't help but be self conscious about. People say thick thighs save lives, but you're pretty sure yours might take his if you squeeze too hard. He does not care at all. He's completely unconcerned. You might protest at first, but once he gets started, you won't be able to actually string together a coherent sentence anyway.

Belphegor

He doesn't realize your struggle at first, but he figures it out on his own after a little bit. He mostly notices little things, like the way you carefully move between the desks at RAD to avoid bumping your hips into them or the way you never wear shorts. After a little while, he understands what the issue is. Starts doing small things like making sure you always have a chair without arms so that you'll fit in it comfortably. Insists on sitting next to you in small seats so that you can share part of his. He's just going to nap on your shoulder anyway.

Eventually, though, he's going to call you out on it. It bothers him and he has no problem letting you know this. If you do something or say something that somehow indicates you're feeling insecure about your body size, he will ask you about it directly. He listens to everything you have to say about it, but it irritates him. He's not fully angry about it like Satan, but he does get a little peeved. If you say anything negative about yourself, he will simply tell you to stop. He'll tell you that you're wrong. Please don't talk about yourself like that, MC. He doesn't like to hear it.

Relationship or not, you are his favorite pillow and he's going to make sure you know this. You're so soft all over, all he ever wants to do is cuddle with you. His head is always in your lap or leaning against your arm. If he can settle his body between your legs and rest his head on your chest while snuggling with your large soft tummy, you can bet he is going to do that. You won't be able to dislodge him any time soon. If you are in a relationship with him, he'll mumble to you constantly about how much he loves you. It's not just your body, though that is certainly a plus to him. It's everything, every part of you is his favorite part of you.

Belphie will often insist on being underneath you. Whether you're inside him or he's inside you, he wants you in control and he wants to feel the weight of you on top of him. He doesn't care if you're worried about crushing him. That's not even something that could actually happen. He likes watching you - your expression and the way your body moves - he likes reaching out to grab hold of any part of you that's nearby. Probably leaves little bruises in your flesh where he was gripping you too tightly. There's just so much of you he wants to touch, to hold, to cling to.

part one with the older brothers | part three with the dateables

masterlist | Thank you for reading!

[ruumirmir]

𝘈 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘷𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘗𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦'𝘴 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘛𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘛𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘴 Part I Part II

ੈ♡˳ Author's◇ note - ladies and gentlemen i fear that im just yapping atp. Ough this is literally my own character how hard can it be to not make his dialogues ooc (quite a lot). aNYWAYS lo and behold part 2 of the voicelines. They're all subject to change as far as lorecrafting goes. But for now!!! loverboy has a lot to say:

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘊𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 4] A big hulking figure followed by the sound of rattling metal chains as he walks...It would make anyone tremble with fear. Celestia knows what lies under that helmet, but you can rest assured that The Captain is fairly merciful to all. It's just a simple matter of being courteous and following orders. Dare I even say it... one thing that I've heard and observed from the grapevine- is that he's one of the more popular Harbingers... if the bold statements from my comrades are anything to go by.

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘋𝘰𝘤𝘵𝘰𝘳 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 4] Contrary to belief, the Prime Doctore is a completely sane man. His younger segments, not so much. His experiments have killed hundreds, and I'm sure he would continue if it wouldn't threaten Regrator's profits. He works a little too closely with Lord Regrator, which is bad enough for me. I can't stand it when he asks me to keep their struck deals and the Doctor's activities under wraps... but I do it anyway. I'd be happier if they were never in the same room together, but apparently, those two make 'quite the pair' if I had to quote some rumors.

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘋𝘢𝘮𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 4] Her reputation as dangerous, even among the Harbingers, should suggest you steer clear of her. I once made the mistake of catching her closed gaze while I was at the palace- and a nasty feeling of paranoia plagued me for days on end. However, if you end up under her radar and she deems you 'interesting'... well- I'll send you my condolences.

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘒𝘯𝘢𝘷𝘦 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 4]

The Knave, Arlecchino... she's quite the enigma. While she and Lord Regrator are both Harbingers, their demeanors, methods, and goals cannot be more distinct. Her methods, to say the least, are a touch... extreme. There's no denying her skills as a master manipulator and ruthless 'Father' of the House of the Hearth. It's certainly an improvement from the late Crucabena, or so I've heard from the older orphans. But then again, I haven't noticed any changes in the mortality rate of her... "children".

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘙𝘰𝘰𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 4]

The old Rooster's influence can be found throughout Snezhnaya, and his connections are vast. He seems to be on good terms with Regrator, but that's the only thing I'm sure of. He serves as an advisor to the Fatui Harbingers, and his assistance goes beyond the scope of his political power. I suspect there's something important that he may be working on, but I have no idea where to start… They say he's a master strategist, but his only plans involve making a show that impresses a crowd. I only hope the next time he assembles the Harbingers together, it will be over his casket.

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 4]

Sandrone is the head of a team of engineers who build mechanical lifeforms. Some are small and cute, others gigantic and powerful... but all are emotionless and unfeeling. When I hear the word "creation" I think of beauty and passion, but Sandrone seems to only care about destruction. Just like the mech that carries her around. You'd never see her alone; it's as if the puppet is her true identity.

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘊𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘦 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 4]

Tartaglia, or Childe as some people call him, He definitely has the strength of a Harbinger, that much is undeniable. But he can be impulsive, even downright suicidal at times. It's as if he has no fear of dying. I guess that's what happens when you live for the thrill of the battle. I can't deny that... Even though he's a loudmouth, his skills back up his words. I've seen him cut through enemies as if they were made of butter. That being said, he's still young at heart. Occasionally disruptive for the duties carried out. He's developed an interest in dueling with me ever since Pantalone granted me this title. Lucky for me, I can always request for Regrator's presence whenever I want him to turn tail and disappear.

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘍𝘢𝘪𝘳 𝘓𝘢𝘥𝘺 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 4]

The first time I saw Signora, I was struck by her beauty and gracefulness. Unfortunately, my admiration was short-lived as she turned to glare at me the moment she noticed. Arrogance. Ego. Self-conceit- now those are mere words when it comes to the Fair Lady. She was as cold as the snow that covers Snezhnaya and as temperamental as the flames she wielded. She had no tolerance for the weak and would just as easily snuff out a life without a second thought. Although I hold no love for her, I almost felt disrespected on her behalf when the Rooster thought to grant only half a day of mourning at her funeral.

𝘔𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘝𝘦𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳: 𝘐

The Northland Bank is a place of opportunity, a place where you can put your destiny into your own hands... and a place where you can see it stripped from you without warning. I have seen many people come and go in my time here. People from all walks of life, eager to make a name for themselves. Some have found the money and fortune they sought after, while others have fallen flat on their faces.

𝘔𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘝𝘦𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳: 𝘐𝘐 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 3]

I've seen countless conflicts waged with blood and steel, and they pale in comparison to the lives destroyed by the pen. They're both weapons in their own ways. The sword is more direct, no question about it. Yet the pen... it can cut in a more subtle manner, but it slices deep. Both are capable of ruining someone's life. The former requires power while the latter requires intelligence. Really brings out the irony in calling this feathered quill my 'signature' weapon.

𝘔𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘝𝘦𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳: 𝘐𝘐𝘐 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 4]

To the untrained eye, it may seem like some sort of cruel joke. A title like ‘Venator Dux’ is usually given to one who would strike fear in their enemies and inspire confidence in their allies. Lord Regrator, however, has a different plan in mind. Pantalone sees me not as a ruthless warrior, but as the keeper of his secrets. Someone who can wield knowledge as a weapon and turn his enemies’ greed against them. To him, the title of ‘Venator Dux’ is a reminder of my duty. In his words, I was a useful piece that could shift the entire board on his whim. And isn't that something to take pride in? Knowing you're the most favored player in a man's game?

𝘔𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘝𝘦𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳: 𝘐𝘝 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 5]

My father died a proud soldier under the tsaritsa's name. He fought and bled on behalf of the nation she created and dedicated his life to protecting. *Sigh* My father would be ashamed if he could see me now, kneeling before a man. Especially after cursing his grave out for dying under another. The irony is not lost on me. Yet, I would rather serve a man who I respect, who I can reason with, than one who demands endless devotion from her subjects. In a strange way, I feel as though I am honouring my father's memory by following my own path.

𝘔𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘝𝘦𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳: 𝘝 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 6]

Hilarious to think back to my first year of duty. I was no more than a simple receptionist at the Northland Bank back then. Just another faceless pawn, doing my duty to the tsaritsa without questioning her intentions. All I knew was that I was serving the Fatui's goals. I did not kill anyone directly, yet I still had blood on my hands. Every transaction carried the potential for loss and pain, yet I pushed on regardless. I may have been just a receptionist, but I was already well aware of the cost of ambition. Pantalone then, was different from everyone else I'd met in the Fatui. He didn't use force of arms like the other Harbingers; instead, he used his words and intellect to manipulate the political landscape.

In addition, he held a unique perspective on the tsaritsa's ideals. Not once did he preach about blind devotion. He simply told me that if I wanted to make my mark on this world, I would have to be willing to play by his rules. It took me three years to realize what he insinuated... and I found myself gravitating back to him despite leaving the organization of my own accord.

𝘝𝘦𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳'𝘴 𝘏𝘰𝘣𝘣𝘪𝘦𝘴 Playing the piano, perhaps? I'm no good at it yet... but I've been getting better with some help guiding my hand around the keys. It is... nice to unwind after a long day and let the instrument carry me away.

𝘝𝘦𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳'𝘴 𝘛𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘴 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 4] *Sigh*... I have to be diplomatic with people I despise and feign politeness with those who can’t hold a conversation to save their lives. Sometimes- when I’m in the middle of running an important operation, few of my juniors just keep making mistakes. It makes me wonder how Lord Regrator manages to do the same for days on end with a smile on his face... I'm not like him at all.

𝘍𝘢𝘷𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘍𝘰𝘰𝘥 I've got a soft spot for a well-seasoned dish of meat. Any kind really— A hearty serving does wonders. Leaves you delightfully stuffed full, satisfied, and warm. I'm not too worried about the specifics of the dish as long as I can savor a mouthful of rich flavor.

𝘓𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘍𝘢𝘷𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘍𝘰𝘰𝘥 Desserts that are too sweet are an affront to my tastebuds and moral values. Sugar is supposed to be an element, not the whole personality. The only thing that does it well is dark chocolate.

𝘙𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘎𝘪𝘧𝘵: 𝘐 Oh! A thoughtful choice, traveller. The aroma alone is tantalizing. Your efforts are appreciated. Thank you.

𝘙𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘎𝘪𝘧𝘵: 𝘐𝘐 Hmm... a pragmatic choice. It may not be an extravagant feast, but it serves its purpose. Your gesture is noted.

𝘙𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘎𝘪𝘧𝘵: 𝘐𝘐𝘐 An... interesting choice. I suppose variety is the spice of life, but I find my satisfaction elsewhere. Nonetheless, your intention is recognized. I won't let this go to waste.

𝘉𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘩𝘥𝘢𝘺 Why is there a celebration? A date marking the day of your own birth... It's simply illogical, but the Fatui celebrate birthdays like everything else, so I'll play along. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! There, I said it. You're now a year older, and one year closer to old age and inevitable death. Oh- haha, don't sulk like that, I'm just pulling your leg. Relax. I wouldn't ignore such an occasion. Here, my gift to you... A box of my favorite chocolates. Freshly imported from Fontaine... straight from a bakery approved by Lady Furina herself. They're a bit expensive; but only the best for people I respect.

𝘍𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘈𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯: 𝘐𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘰 [Unlocked at Ascension Phase 1] There are depths to my abilities yet untapped. I'm flattered that you thought to lend me a hand.

𝘍𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘈𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯: 𝘉𝘶𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘜𝘱 [Unlocked at Ascension Phase 2] Oh... careful now, I might want to test it out against you.

𝘍𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘈𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯: 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘹 [Unlocked at Ascension Phase 4]

Oh, I've unlocked something new... Fascinating. That burst of light was unexpected but now... I can feel the power. Everything feels lighter and sharper at the same time. I'd be a formidable force indeed in the coming weeks... Well, back to work. My Lord expects a report on current fiscal state by the end of the week.

𝘍𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘈𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯: 𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘭𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 [Unlocked at Ascension Phase 6]

Aha, I can do a lot more now. More power, better focus, and more options. This is truly remarkable... I'd love to see how my coworkers react to this. Lord Pantalone will be especially pleased, I'd wager. He'd never pass up the opportunity to see his prized jewels shine brighter.

Bonus:

𝘖𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘛𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘊𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘵

Why not try your luck at gambling if you're running low on mora?

You could con a pretty penny out of someone with a couple of these trinkets. Hmm... no?

This is a pretty fun hobby.

𝘑𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘗𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘺

What? No other companion to recruit?

I'll be charging you a fee of 5000 mora per hour for my services... Ha- I'm just messing with you.

I'm a busy man, so let's keep today's adventure short.

[fickleminder]

rumor has it

DWBD AU. The demon brothers' reaction to Kirana's pact.

DWBD AU masterlist here. Follow-up to first time for everything.

Asmo wanted all the details yesterday.

Who was it? How did they do it? Were there gifts involved? Was it a flashy proposal in front of a captive audience? An intimate exchange of vows during a private moment? A spontaneous decision in the throes of passion—

"Someone's been fantasizing," Solomon drawled over the phone. "But no, sorry. I have no idea."

"Stop teasing me!" Asmo whined. "You must know something; I thought the two of you were friends!"

"We are, but that doesn't mean she tells me everything."

And it was true; Kirana did approach Solomon to ask about the intricacies of summoning a demon, but that was it. She never showed him the pact mark or revealed whose it was, though it wasn't hard to narrow the possible candidates down to seven.

"Ugh, you're no help at all!" Asmo huffed before ending the call. It didn't matter, he’d find other ways to get the information he wanted. Kirana’s pact was the latest gossip around RAD; surely someone would be able to give him the deets!

Solomon could only confirm that the pact was real, but Asmo was more interested in the How. Surely if he adopted a similar method, it would boost his own chances of entering a pact with her too!

(Strangely enough, the usual assumption that Kirana would be falling over herself to have a pact with a beautiful creature like him was absent from Asmo’s mind.)

.

.

.

Mammon was fuming.

Lucifer had assigned him as Kirana’s guardian when she arrived in the Devildom, so shouldn’t he have the right to be her first pact?! How dare those lowly lesser demons steal what was his!

(Never mind the fact that he had abandoned her the first chance he got, or repeatedly stole from her, or bullied her into silence by hanging her off the roof—)

So Mammon decided to do what he did best: scheme. Despite their change of heart towards Kirana, neither he nor his brothers had made much progress in mending bridges with her after the whole clone debacle. Hell, he'd even refrained from taking anything from her room for a whole week, and still she didn't notice! Talk about ungrateful...

Then he recalled how the other Kirana had managed to get a pact with the other him. She was definitely on to something; if the other him had traded a pact for his precious Goldie, then maybe he could reverse this trick on her!

The second the idea popped into his head, Mammon's heart was set on it. Playing nice clearly didn't work, so he had no other choice but to get his hands dirty. If he held something valuable to her hostage, then she had to agree to it. Plus, she could then order him never to steal from her again! It was a deal she couldn't refuse.

Sometimes Mammon impressed even himself.

.

.

.

Levi investigated the rumors.

Surely the lucky demon must have bragged about their pact with Kirana, and he wouldn't rest until he found out whodunnit! He started with her circle of lesser demon friends, combing through their socials. Only Rache and Vorgo had strong online presences, but there wasn't anything related to pacts in their recent activity.

So Levi expanded his search to Kirana's classmates, going through her list of classes and following treads of conversation until finally, he found a demoness who had posted about overhearing something interesting in the locker rooms.

Apparently, someone had caught a glimpse of an unknown pact mark on Kirana's right arm while she was changing between classes. She was quick about it so they didn't have time to take a closer look or snap a photo, but there was no doubt about it: the human exchange student had forged a pact with a demon.

Other related posts were mostly speculation on whose pact it was and what Kirana had to give up in exchange, but Levi didn't care about any of that. No, his mind was fixated on the fact that the pact was real. And that someone had walked in on her changing.

It was something he never knew he wanted until now. But pacts worked both ways; would Kirana even want one with a yucky otaku like him?

This was one ultra rare achievement he had no idea how to unlock.

.

.

.

Lucifer went about his day as per normal.

There was paperwork to be done, meetings to attend, grievances to be heard—

"—blatant show of utter disrespect, threatening violence to boot! As such, I demand you punish that lesser demon under your Circle's jurisdiction, Lord Lucifer."

"Threatening violence, you say?" Lucifer's cold smile didn't falter. "Why, if memory serves, you were the one who threatened violence against my exchange student to begin with. 'Flay you and use your skin as a carpet', I believe were your exact words."

The professor went white.

Kirana's grades had been steadily improving over the course of the year, which made her recent string of F's all the more suspicious. Lucifer had intended to speak to her after class one afternoon, only to witness the most interesting turn of events: Kirana confronting the professor about deliberately failing her, the professor advancing towards her menacingly while screaming profanities, and Dracius appearing out of nowhere with horns and wings pointed forward, startling the professor into backing away. Before Lucifer could intervene, the lesser demon had swiftly whisked Kirana away from the scene.

With her out of the danger zone, Lucifer decided to do the next best thing and deal with the pathetic demon before him. After all, if he removed the source of the problem and cleaned up the mess, then Kirana would have no need to use her pact any further.

All in a day's work.

.

.

.

Beel and Belphie sulked.

On one hand, they remembered how much pain could be inflicted through a pact. When the other Kirana had put her foot down during a particularly rowdy squabble between the brothers, her STAY practically forced them to the ground and gave them full-body aches for days. Just thinking about it made the twins shiver with trepidation.

On the other hand, the pacts weren’t a power play to Kirana, but a symbol of friendship and respect. Having a pact with her would mean she trusted them and vice versa. It was a special connection they knew she wouldn't abuse even though they had all gotten off on the wrong foot. Once the veil had been lifted from their eyes, they could see just how kind she was, how well she treated her friends, and why others were drawn to her.

Did they want in on that? Hell yeah.

Did they deserve it? ...Probably not.

It didn't matter who had made a pact with Kirana or that they weren't the first. What really unsettled them was the proof that she didn't need them at all. Despite how they had treated her at first, she still found a way to stand on her own two feet.

Beel thought there was no harm in just being upfront and asking her. Belphie didn't want to risk her rejecting them.

In the end, they were paralyzed by indecision. All talk, no action.

.

.

.

Satan refused to give up without a fight.

The pact couldn't be undone, but Dracius and Kirana's relationship could still fall apart. It was only in its infancy, so if he played his cards right, he still had a chance to come out on top.

First things first, he had to throw his hat into the ring. Cornering Dracius wasn't difficult; he'd been to the royal library often enough to know when the lesser demon would be working and when Kirana wouldn't. Satan picked a day and made his move. He didn't bother being discreet, marching straight towards Dracius as the other demon was leaving.

With his arms full and an angry Avatar headed for him, Dracius knew there was no point trying to flee. He forced himself to straighten and pretended not to see his life flashing before his eyes. "Can I help you, Lord Satan?"

"Yes—" Satan lifted his chin with a glare. Keep your hands off Kirana, stay away from her, he was about to demand, until the items Dracius was holding registered in his brain.

Takeout cups of tea from the library's café, a paperback novel tucked under one arm... Satan recognized them both. The blend of tea was from the human world; it had a distinct fragrance that once lingered in the House's kitchen until Beel ate all the leaves during a snack run. The novel was one he had read before, a romance with an intricate mystery subplot.

No doubt Dracius had been on his way to meet with Kirana. Just the thought of them going out on a date made Satan's blood boil, but seeing the novel made him reconsider cursing Dracius every day for the rest of his miserable life.

"...Lord Satan?"

"—Take care of Kirana," he said instead with clenched fists. "Treat her well and keep her safe, or else."

Dracius looked taken aback, but nodded solemnly. He bowed his head in respect before hurrying away.

Satan watched him go. The shovel talk was a nice save, but he wasn't throwing in the towel just yet. No, the fight for Kirana's heart was only beginning, and he was determined to win it fair and square. He might be a demon, but that was how all his romance novels went; any foul play was sure to come back and bite him in the ass.

Besides, didn't Kirana used to have a crush on him? Satan was determined to rekindle that flame and prove that he was deserving of her.

.

.

.

(Bonus: the lesser demons)

"About damn time!" Talon slapped Dracius on the back with a wide grin, nearly sending him sprawling onto the ground. "Any longer and I would have owed Rache fifty Grimm!"

Kirana’s jaw dropped. "Wait, you betted on—"

"It was soooo obvious!" Rache rolled her eyes at her. "How did you not see it?"

"Congrats! I’m so happy for you two!" Erkid glomped Kirana and squeezed her tightly, while Vorgo and Igfuur gave her thumbs up.

"Alright, down to business." Belyth grabbed Dracius by the front of his shirt and looked him dead in the eye. "You’re our friend, but if you so much as make Kirana cry, or force her into anything, I’m going to cut off your—"

"What are you threatening me for? I’m the one who gave her my pact!" Dracius nearly yelled in frustration, overwhelmed by the commotion.

Everyone fell silent. And then…

"You did what?!"

"No fair, I want one too!"

"Dracius, you smooth motherfucker—"

"Oohhhh…"

"Congrats on that too, I guess."

*screaming intensifies*

"What did you think we were talking about?!" Kirana shook her head in disbelief.

"Dracius asking you out, duh!" Rache threw her hands up. "He’s had the hots for you since—"

No one had ever seen Dracius move so fast, practically pouncing on Rache to slap a hand over her mouth.

[cirilla-fiona-riannon]

The Secret Exchange Diary of the Beauty and the Tyrant (His POV)

These translations are not intended as a replacement for the game. Please support Cybird by buying their stories. Expect grammatical errors. Not 100% accurate.

CW: Slightly Suggestive

Emma: “Prince Silvio, would you like to exchange diaries?”

Silvio: “Ha?”

We were chillin’ out in bed after taking a bath together when Emma suddenly proposed an unexpected idea.

Emma: “We’ll show each other our diaries.”

Silvio: “Who would do something so embarrassing? I ain’t gonna do it.”

Emma: “You really think it’s embarrassing? Your voyage log is in a book, you know?”

Silvio: “Those two are different things. I won’t do it even if you ask me to.”

(Her head is really full of such fantasies.)

Emma: “Fine.”

Not expecting me to disagree, she easily backed down.

Emma: “Then, it’s okay if I send you my diary alone, right?”

Silvio: “What’s your goal here?”

Emma: “It’s a secret.”

(I don’t get it.)

I could tell she was up to something, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

(Never mind. If she’s satisfied with it, fine.)

Silvio: “You’re going to send it anyway, aren’t you? Fine, I'll go along with it.”

Emma: “Thank you!”

She giggled and hugged me around the waist.

(I don’t really get how women think.)

Just like what she said, from that day on, she really did send me her diary.

Today I holed up in the castle's library to learn about the history and transition of Benitoite.

I've always known that the country is famous for its sea and trade. However, it was Prince Silvio's voyages that gave Benitoite the edge over other countries.

He had three major voyages in the past.

All of them were his greatest achievements that had already been compiled in history books.

My fiancée was really cool. I couldn't help but fall in love with him even more as I read about him in history books.

But what he achieved so far was not limited to voyages.

I'd like to know everything about him.

I might fall in love with him each time and suddenly want to hug him, but I hope he forgives me then.

(........)

(How can you write something so cringy?)

After reading her diary during my break, I closed it, and for some reason, my face wouldn't stop blushing.

It was so embarrassing that I almost jumped into the water but resisted and just ruffled my hair.

(But what's in it for her by giving it to me?)

(It's not like she has anything special to tell me. If anything, it just makes me feel good.)

(This is like a love letter now. Ah, damn it.)

It was sickening as a trader to benefit from the diary alone because the principle in business is fair trade.

Receiving Emma’s diary alone wasn’t fair.

(If she's only giving this to make me write a diary, then that's quite impressive.)

She might be a sassy woman, but I didn’t think she would use this kind of tactic.

(No point dwelling on it. I just have to ask her.)

Silvio: “Why do you want to exchange diaries?”

As soon as I finished my official duties, I stormed into her room and blurted out these words.

She was apparently studying hard, with a stack of history books on her desk.

She widened her eyes at my sudden visit, but stopped writing.

Emma: “I heard a rumor that you might be going on a voyage soon.”

(You already heard about it, huh?)

It was just a minor voyage一one that would leave the castle empty for a few days. But despite knowing this, Emma didn’t look too happy.

Emma: “This is the first time I’m going to be separated from you here in Benitoite.”

Emma: "I know you often go sailing, and there'll be times when we won't be able to see each other in the future, so I thought if I wrote a diary, I'd miss you a little less."

Silvio: "I see..."

I ended up clutching my head and grunting.

(If that's the case, you should've said so from the start. Why can't you do something as cute as this?)

Silvio: "It wouldn't make sense if you were the only one writing the diary."

Emma: "That's not true."

Emma: "Just having my diary will make you remember me when you go on your voyage. Pretty wicked, huh?"

(What's so wicked about it, you idiot?)

I ruffled her hair messily in annoyance at her overwhelming cuteness.

Emma: "Are you mad?"

Silvio: "Why would I be mad?"

Emma: "Because it was pretty selfish."

Silvio: "*sigh* It's not even close to being selfish."

(To be honest, I was planning to take your diary without telling you.)

Emma: "Then why did you mess up my hair?"

Silvio: "I just feel like it."

Emma: "Don't mess it up just because you feel like it!"

Silvio: "Shut up. I'm in the mood for this."

Now that I'd heard the reason, I couldn't bring myself to be embarrassed.

As I continued to mess up Emma's hair, I remembered again that no Benitoite businessman should ever break the most basic and important principle.

(It ain't my style, though.)

(Tch, I guess I don't have a choice.)

A few nights later, I returned to my room after finishing my work and heard the sound of lively footsteps thumping from the corridor.

Emma: "Prince Silvio!"

Silvio: "!?”

The door swung open with a bang, and Emma jumped into my chest like a rabbit.

Without giving me a chance to react, she suddenly hugged me, causing my body to freeze in surprise.

Silvio: "How many times do I have to tell you not to startle me?"

Emma: "This is not the time for that!"

She moved away from me and held up a diary.

It was the diary I purposely left in her room when she wasn't there.

(I left it there because I couldn't stand to see it being read in front of me.)

Emma: "I didn't expect you to write it."

Emma: "The content一"

Silvio: "Don't say it! Don't say it out loud!"

Emma: "I can't?"

Silvio: "You can't, you idiot."

(I want to get the hell out of here right now.)

Anticipating this, she blocked my way.

Emma: "Then let me tell you what I think of一"

Silvio: "I don't want any feedback!"

Emma: "I'll only say one short phrase."

I tried to cut off her words, but she quickly covered my mouth.

(This bitch...)

Emma: "I love you!"

I gulped, and my heart thumped loudly in my chest as I saw her face up close, beaming with delight.

Silvio: "You're getting carried away."

Emma: "Of course, I'd get carried away if I read that. It was like a love letter一"

This time, I put my lips on hers and took the words I couldn't bear to hear.

Silvio: "Don't say anything else."

(I don't want to remember it.)

Every time she tried to speak, I kissed her lips and entwined my breath with hers.

I held her hips and felt a slight tremor in my palms as I deepened the exchange of our tongues.

(I won't let you say anything cheeky for a while.)

Just to be sure, I kissed her more deeply, and lewd wet noises echoed around the room.

I knew that if I did this, she'd be even more embarrassed than I was.

When I took everything away from her, Emma turned her teary eyes upward, her breath uneven.

Emma: "Are you embarrassed?"

Silvio: "So what if I am?"

Emma: "Nothing."

She only grinned and said nothing about what I did, which would normally make her blush and complain.

Silvio: "Are you sure you want to be smiling like that?"

(Is my diary really making you that happy?)

I pushed her against a nearby wall and put my knee between her legs.

When I forcefully shook her, I could see from her expression that her composure had vanished.

Emma: "W-What do you think you're doing!?"

Silvio: "If you humiliated me, it's only fair that you should be humiliated as well."

Emma: "Ngh…I didn't humiliate you."

Silvio: "You ain't convincing me."

I unbuttoned her blouse and forcefully pulled down her upper garments.

As I mercilessly squeezed her exposed breasts, she began to moan.

(I was trying to keep you quiet, but if you keep making that kind of face, I wouldn't be able to hold back either.)

I lifted her skirt and continued to stimulate her directly with my knee.

When I smirked at the faint wetness I felt through my clothes, she noticed and looked away, blushing.

Emma: "Did you really hate the diary so much?"

Silvio: "If I really didn't like it, I wouldn't have done it."

I let out a small laugh, and despite her becoming somewhat disheveled, she laughed as well.

Emma: "Then, please stay with me for a little longer."

Silvio: "Ha?"

Emma: "Is that a no?"

(.........)

There was no way I could resist her request, seeing how she carefully held the diary.

Silvio: "I'll go along with you as much as you want if this makes you that happy. Damn it."

Swearing, I hold Emma in my arms and lay her on the bed.

As I sank her into the bed, the diary slipped from her hands, its pages flipping open.

I'm off to the shipyard today for a meeting to discuss the new voyage.

I'd most likely be sailing in a few weeks at this rate.

I plan to return in a few days, but I kinda feel bad leaving you alone.

We'll use an unknown route this time, so the danger is uncertain. This is why I can't take you with me.

I'll be back as soon as I can because you seem to be more lonely than I thought.

As you know, I'm a businessman before I'm royalty.

I will probably go on less risky voyages as I take over the throne, but I don't intend to stop because Benitoite has made rapid progress by crossing rough seas and creating new trade routes.

My way of doing things is different from my old man's.

I may make you lonely and worried, but I will spoil you when I can be with you.

I'll keep up with the diary, and if there's anything else you want me to do, just let me know.

I'll even do a few outlandish things for you.

I can't help but fall in love with you, too, every single day.

Fin.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

I know you only started tracking rumors after Megxit but maybe you know the answer to my question. I’m actually currently skimming through Robert Jobson’s new book about Catherine so I’m getting reminded of all the old stories about them. So, all the royal books say that William was enamored with Isabella whatsherface, sister of Cressida Bonas, when he and Kate broke up in 2007. But I think I’ve read from comments of royal watchers that Isabella had already denied this story. I’m just wondering if you know where she ever said this denial? At this point, that Isabella really was a contender is now the accepted official story. Also, I just find it very dubious that this Isabella woman can get on her high horse with this narrative that she apparently turned down William because of her career as an actress. But there’s really been not much of an acting career to speak of (that I know of). It’s just obviously a take down of Kate, implying William only chose her because she was willing to drop everything for him. It just makes me wonder who ever planted this story.

It’s in the same vein with that story about that other girl William allegedly dated before Kate. She gave interviews and said nothing sexual happened between her and William because she was conservative, implying that oh William must have chosen Kate because she was willing to put out. While the story might be true, it’s just obvious some of these people are selling their stories to make themselves look good while subtly attacking Kate (and even William).

Also, can you enlighten me as to how some things about William and Kate get written about if they don’t leak? Like, for example, it’s been said William apparently broke up with Kate over phone and the books claim he said this and that during the phone call. But no one would really know what went on in those conversations except William and Kate. Tbh, I assumed all of these things, especially when it’s about a situation only William and Kate could possibly know about, that they’re completely made up by the authors. But… it’s making me rethink, how can William and Kate allow untrue narratives about them to continue to be said? Tbh, I just assumed it’s fine, because it seems like William and Kare just decided to live by the philosophy of not caring what’s written about them. But then, these narratives become the official story. They get passed around from one book to another that most people assume they’re true. One could argue all the conspiracy theories this year was helped by these long-repeated narratives about how William actually wanted another girl and just went back to Kate because he had no other choice. Do you think there will ever come a time when William and Kate would set the stories straight?

So, all the royal books say that William was enamored with Isabella whatsherface, sister of Cressida Bonas, when he and Kate broke up in 2007. But I think I’ve read from comments of royal watchers that Isabella had already denied this story. I’m just wondering if you know where she ever said this denial?

Nope. I have no idea. Mainly because I never thought William and Isabella dated that seriously. I always suspected it was kind of a flirtation that people who didn't like Kate embellished to prove that William settled for Kate.

Also, can you enlighten me as to how some things about William and Kate get written about if they don’t leak? Like, for example, it’s been said William apparently broke up with Kate over phone and the books claim he said this and that during the phone call. But no one would really know what went on in those conversations except William and Kate. Tbh, I assumed all of these things, especially when it’s about a situation only William and Kate could possibly know about, that they’re completely made up by the authors.

Kate never leaks. William does, but it's rare (as compared to how much his FOO leaks).

Plant once published a list over the PR keywords to tell who the royal source is but I haven't been able to dig it up yet. William was definitely on that list. So were the Middletons (defined as Mike, Carole, and Pippa).

They do have friends and family (and family's staffs) who are less scrupulous when it comes to dealing with the press. There are also hangers-on looking for 10 minutes of fame. For instance, there was a girl who was leaking about the wedding, and getting real press jobs to talk about Kate and the wedding, back in 2011. She positioned herself as a close friend of Kate's, but it came out that they'd just been schoolmates at Marlborough (or something like that) and she wasn't actually real friends with Kate.

In addition, there's also just the general members of the public who couldn't care less about a celebrity's privacy. They have no issue snapping photos or calling a pap to say "X was at this restaurant. Here's what they ordered and here's what I eavesdropped from their conversation."

And finally, William and Kate are creatures of habit. They don't stray far from their circle of favorite restaurants, shops, businesses. All a reporter has to do is buddy up to those businesses or their customers or just hang around long enough. Promise them a big enough payday, they've got themselves what might end up being a pretty good scoop.

So plenty of people talk about William and Kate without the two of them having to speak to the press themselves.

But… it’s making me rethink, how can William and Kate allow untrue narratives about them to continue to be said?

Because of "never complain, never explain." It means don't complain about the press coverage because then you'll start explaining everything and once you start complaining/explaining, you can't stop. And once you set a pattern on when to complain and when to explain, the public and press can use that to determine what your dirty secrets are.

Take the Sussexes, for example. Of all the stories that were out there in the public domain about them from 2017 through then (all the gossip about the engagement and the wedding, all the exclusives from the press tsunami, all the gossip about the Frogmore renovation), the only one that Harry and Meghan denied, with great urgency, was the story that they bought a $100K copper bathtub for Frogmore Cottage. So because they complained about the bathtub, but not anything else, we and the press can reasonably assume that everything else is true (and everyone did).

Compare that to the Cambridges, who've never complained and never explained anything they did. The only time William did complain, it was about the Rose rumors, which effectively put the kibosh on it (as far as mainstream media goes) because everyone knew they'd poked the bear and didn't want the responsibility of what happened next.

Tbh, I just assumed it’s fine, because it seems like William and Kare just decided to live by the philosophy of not caring what’s written about them. But then, these narratives become the official story. They get passed around from one book to another that most people assume they’re true. One could argue all the conspiracy theories this year was helped by these long-repeated narratives about how William actually wanted another girl and just went back to Kate because he had no other choice. Do you think there will ever come a time when William and Kate would set the stories straight?

No. Why do they need to? They know the truth. Their loved ones know the truth. Why do they care what the public thinks? Especially when time has proven that history will forget about all of this?

Of all the gossip that was said about Prince Philip and The Queen over their whole lives (the Penny Knatchbull rumors for Philip, the Porchy rumors for The Queen), none of them came up when they died and the world was remembering their service and deeds. It'll be the same with William and Kate. In 50 years, no one will care about the gossip; the jubilee coverage, the obituaries, the reflections, the memories will be about William's work with climate change, Kate's work with Early Years, their children, and whatever else transpires between now and then.

The only reasons these stories are so prevalent, and prominent, now are because William and Kate are actually very boring people and are still "early" in their careers for the monarchy. Meaning, there's nothing happening right now for William and Kate to fill everyone's attention.

Let's compare for a quick second. William and Kate are now both 42 years old.

When Philip was 42, he had fled Greece as an infant; fought in World War 2 and witnessed the surrender of the Japanese; married The King's daughter and served in the Royal Navy; saw his wife become Queen; and redeveloped his role as Prince Consort for the modern era.

When Elizabeth was 42, she had been born and grown up a little girl never expecting to see the throne; went through the abdication crisis and became heir presumptive; served in World War 2; had been Queen for 12 years; and was starting to modernize monarchy.

When Charles was 42, he'd been the heir apparent for 42 38 years; Prince of Wales for 32 years; leading the Prince's Trust for 14 years; graduated university; served in the Royal Navy; was a pilot; and was in the middle of a collapsing marriage due to publicly-acknowledged affairs from both parties.

Diana never made it to 42. But when she was 37, she had been married to The Prince of Wales for 14 years, with the marriage falling apart for most of that time; separated from The Prince of Wales for 3 years; divorced from The Prince of Wales for one year; mother of two, including the future king, for 15 years; was a global phenomenon in humanitarian aid and charity work for 15 years; and had participated in a PR war to diminish her then ex-husband's status and his mistress/girlfriend's reputation.

Compare all of that to where William and Kate are now:

At 42 years of age, William is a university graduate; served as a search and rescue helicopter pilot; has been the heir apparent/Prince of Wales for almost 2 years; led the Royal Foundation for 15 years with projects in mental health, homelessness, and conservation; in a relationship with his wife for 22 years; and led Earthshot for 5 years.

At 42 years of age, Kate is a university graduate; has been in a relationship with the future king for 22 years; co-led The Royal Foundation for 13 years with projects in mental health, family support, and the early years; led the Early Years initiative for 3 years; and is dealing with a serious health crisis that requires preventative chemotherapy.

As you can see, William and Kate's "professional" accomplishments pale in comparison to their "predecessors." Because they can't sell books or create content with such little information, the reporters (and the public) supplement the known facts and history with gossip and plausible-enough-to-be-believable stories, hoping that one day something will change and "never complain, never explain" gets broken.

The only time that William and Kate may set the stories of their lives straight is posthumously, when their personal papers (if they keep any) are published. Alternatively, they could follow in Philip's footsteps and work with an author on a semi-authorized biography in their end years. I doubt there will be very many of us around to see that happen, though.

[reliablejoukido]

Digi-memories, summer 2000 (feat. me crying more than once)

On Saturday, June 24, 2000, I was on vacation in the mountains with my family. I was 11 at the time. We were staying in a cabin with electricity and running water, but obviously no computers, phones, internet or cable. We had a tiny, black and white TV with rabbit ears that we brought with us, and it got like 3 local channels that would cut in and out. One of them was Fox! I knew the final two episodes of Digimon: Digimon Monsters were airing that day (Fox Kids waited a whole month to air them for some reason). And amazingly my sister and I were able to actually watch them! In black and white of course. And the reception did cut out for most of Apocalymon's famous pizza crust speech. But I got to see the finale with the full version of "Hey Digimon" and the trolley car and Mimi's hat, etc.

And I cried. A lot. I was (and still am) incredibly sensitive and prone to crying at the drop of a hat. We had only just started the week-long vacation when the episodes aired and (according to my parents), I was "annoying" all week because of how upset I was. I thought it was over forever. That I'd never get to see Digimon again. That my faves' story was over and they would never get to see their Digimon again. I remember grabbing my spiral notebook (which was at the time filled with Team Rocket fanfiction), and started writing letters to the Digidestined. I wish I still had them, tbh, because I'd love to know what I came up with for Joe, who I was not a fan of at the time. Probably most of the emotion went to Matt, who was my favorite character back then, and Izzy, who was my sister's.

Anyway, there was this stretch of time between June 24, 2000 and August 19, 2000, when the season 1 dub had finished airing and the 02 dub started airing. Apparently 02 began airing in Japan in April, 2000, so by the time the season 1 dub ended on Fox Kids, there were already a number of 02 episodes out in Japan (apparently 13 episodes to be exact).

That summer, I read a rumor on an English language Digimon message board claiming that the new season (02) was going to "completely cut out the characters of Matt, Sora, Mimi and Joe". Since I was 11 years old at the time, I took this at face value (though if you remove the word 'completely', the rumor is largely true).

I remember going into the basement of my house and crying my eyes out (again) for Matt, Sora, Mimi and Joe. I made up a rambling song that essentially eulogized them, and I sang it for hours in the basement with the lights off for some reason. I remember telling my parents about it and they had no idea what to do to console me. My sister was 6 years old, so who knows if that "news" affected her in any way. It's funny because at the time, I didn't even particularly like Sora, Mimi, or Joe. But I was still devastated by their "loss".

There's nothing else to the story, really. I think I was probably surprised when most of the older Digidestined did show up in the first handful of episodes of 02. I don't think 02 made me cry (or at least not as much). But after it was over, I wrote like 20 love letters to Davis and wrote some cringy self-insert fic. All of those I definitely do still have.

Does anyone else remember Digimon that summer (or whatever time it ended/aired for you)?

[gittessimsadventuresog]

Adressing a rumour

TW: grooming, incest, mental health

Edit: upon some self - reflection, i have come to realize i have had some bad influences on these matters, from a influential adult when i was a teenager... Scroll down.

So... Something has come to my attention.

Please read the full thing.

Apparently, people think i have some incest fetish, and this is not true. Those screenshots some have seen are largely out of order, the timespan shortened, things taken out of context. Screenshots from private conversations & server conversations mixed together, it is a mess.

This rumor comes from me playing with a simsfamily when i was 15 in which two incestuous relationships happened over the course of 7-ish generations. The low resolution purple family tree you might have seen is from that family, 7-8 years ago. Both were done for dramatic purposes, because i had no other idea on how to re-incorporate certain sims who i found interesting, challenging myself to write such things, exploring deep lore (the icky things happened when a line not unlike the Targaryens was added, medieval looking mersims from Dragon valley) and most of all, a distraction from the extremely bad mental health i had back then, as a undiagnosed autistic teenage girl who was always ignored and excluded by everyone and not knowing why. In fact, i permanently stopped playing with this family around a period when i was suicidal and self-harming.

Because i do not condone it, the relationships were written as icky proportional to how icky they were; the second cousins were apprehensive and denied their feelings for years, and the uncle in the uncle-niece relationship was pretty much blasted to the moon and banished from the family, and the niece (they had physical contact only when she was an adult) was aware of what had happened to her and how badly she was treated. Characters who are icky jerks, were icky jerks.

In the flow of conversation, i started talking about this family in a discord server. This is my longest-played family so far, despite their issues, so when people talk about their simsfamilies, me talking about this one is bound to happen, though that has been changing. If i seemed boastful, it was only because these sims were my (problematic) babies, and i adored most heirs of that family. If i was surprised at how normal in comparison other's sims trees were, it was because i am used to seeing my own weird tree, and joking about its ridiculousness in comparison.

But i deleted most files of that family in early 2017, only having some redownloaded spares who are not related to the drama and a savefile from gen 2, before any of this happened, which i do not touch ( their story has been played). This family is NOT my current family.

Because i initially thought people were creeped out due to the legality, i said that the types of relationships that happened in that old family are legal where i live, which is true ( i looked this up many times and many people told me), thinking that when i said " but it is legal" people would be fine, as i misunderstood that to be the issue. It wasn't the main issue, the idea of the act was, and i wasn't aware i was normalizing it because of stating random facts; i was told after the harm was done.

This is because i am autistic and am particularly bad at reading social clues. I have even been bullied my whole schoolcareer often without realizing, naively playing along instead, always the butt of the joke. Therefore i also wasn't aware of how uncomfortable people were. From my pov, they were joking along at first, and the moment people were clearly uncomfortable, i tried to apologize, but it was too late. While i was adding tw's and spoilers, i saw the server disappear before my eyes.

i joked about letting second cousins marry in my current family in the faeriefrolic server, but i do not at all plan to do that and have ideas that involve more appropiate romantic partners for generations. My current family does not have any incest forced by me, and i do not plan to do it. You can check my family tree and story. Cheating, yes, incest, no. The joke was purely because of a pretty sim whose genes i like, but i have no problems making pretty brand new sims in cas, as i love making sims! Besides, why would i add drama with incest when i can with timetravel and wizarding duels? And pretty family members i can put up for download as spares!

That said, i do still write pretty chaotic families, with darker storylines, this is because i find intensive writing a good funnel for my creativity, i write dark topics into my story for creative exploration. Incest is wrong, rape is wrong, big age gaps are wrong, grooming is wrong and i do not touch these topics lightly or at all now, 8 years later.

As i am aware dramatic storytelling is not everyone's cup of tea, I understand it if you keep me blocked, and i also make sure i do add tw's with my current story, for example for a rape scene and suicidal thoughts in chapter 12:

----------

Regarding my own mental health, other than lingering bullying, discrimination and late diagnosis trauma, i am pretty fine.

Also, i did go cry in other servers, yes. Because suddenly a lot of people whom i had considered friends were blocking me. I was deeply shocked and felt terrible, and only figured out now, two weeks later, how extreme the rumours are.

Edit: the bad influence addition:

TL;DR: a popular respected person in the sims sphere repeatedly told me icky sims relationships are okay when she was in her 50's and me in my teens. Yeah... Feeling pretty damn shit right now.

When I was 14 and she 50, i befriended a very well respected (moderator on a big dutch-flemish simsforum) person in the sims sphere. She was very popular, and had a long running legacy with at least 8 instances of big age gaps & incest, and in most cases, while maybe initially frowned upon, these relationships were endgame. Because she was very popular and never openly called out, doing this in a sims family became very normalized to me back then, who was at a very easily influenced age and mental health state. I genuinely thought this was just something people do with their sims on the regular being shown so by a person i trusted, it was never challenged until the recent events. Remnants of this bad influence stayed with me till then. But now i have seen how it is, in fact, not something that everyone does and it has been called out, I realize how... Weird... This was.

[hannibard]

"I'm choking from the taste (but I can't help but swallow)"

Chapter 2: The (not so) calm before the storm

Summary: Jaskier settles into his new life as things get progressively worse.

The first few months at the Redanian court weren’t too bad all things considered, (especially in comparison to what was to come, the bard thought wryly). One of the first things Jaskier had to do when he arrived at the palace was surrender his travel-worn clothes, together with his beloved leather jacket, and shave his patchy beard. The clothes were replaced by silk garments in various colors, made to fit Jaskier’s exact taste and measurements. He was also given a haircut, his hair now longer than when he first met Geralt but still relatively short. Apparently Radovid wasn’t a fan of his most recent hairdo. (Truthfully, neither was Jaskier, but he refused to voice that opinion.)

Radovid kept Jaskier on a tight leash, never letting him stray too far during their time together, but he was allowed to perform at banquets and the like. Those were his favorite moments while in Radovid’s presence. He could almost pretend he was a normal court bard when he was prancing around, dancing on tables and entertaining an audience. He had done this plenty of times in the past, but he always found courts stuffy, no matter how much he enjoyed the lavish balls, and usually tried to limit his stays to a season or two. It was the main reason he’d abandoned his noble birthright and became a traveling troubadour that ended up broke more often than not. Courts were only tolerable in small doses.

That’s also what the nobles knew him as. Radovid’s court bard. There were rumors going around, gossip being one of nobles’ favorite pastimes, and many suspected the true nature of his relationship with the king, but none of them knew the specifics. It’s not like they could just up and ask about it without evoking the king’s wrath.

Radovid’s physical changes were nothing in comparison to those in his personality or the way he appeared before others. The façade of the irresponsible naïve prince that only cared about the pleasures of life and knew nothing about politics was nowhere to be found. In his place stood a ruthless and commanding leader that ruled his people with an iron fist. ‘Radovid the Stern’ they called him.

Apparently, in the time between his enthronement and the present, Radovid had engaged in a long and intricate power battle with the spymaster Dijkstra and the court mage Philippa and had come out on top. Now both of them had been demoted to mere advisors, without any real say in the inner workings of the kingdom and forced to comply and assist the king with all his whims.

There was also another reason Jaskier cherished the time he spent performing, something that had nothing to do with the love for his profession. Being at the center of attention, unnerving as it could become occasionally, even for a seasoned bard like Jaskier, also doubled as a shield of protection. When everyone’s eyes were on him, Radovid kept his distance.

Many would argue that there was no better way of cementing a monarch’s reign than the birth of an heir, and since Radovid had yet to take in a queen, him having a male lover wouldn’t exactly be met with applause. Moreover, the king didn’t want any of his remaining family members to get any ideas in response to his sexual preferences. He had bigger problems to deal with petty attempts to usurp the throne by his ambitious relatives.

When he was left alone with the bard it was a different story. Jaskier didn’t have his own quarters in the palace, he was obligated to spend every night in the king’s company. No one could protect him in these moments. Radovid may not have been ready to announce their relationship to the world but that didn’t stop him from leaving a myriad of marks on Jaskier’s pale skin. It was the bard’s responsibility to cover them up as best he could, regardless of their placement. He didn’t know which he hated more, the knowing smirks or the pitying looks he was met with by the servants that helped him wash up and dress each morning.

Radovid didn’t always touch him. Sometimes he just wanted to engage in conversation and bask in the bard’s company. These instances were almost harder than the alternative because Jaskier was forced to pretend to be his usual charming and witty self, when all he wanted to do was scream at the other man to let him go.

Most of the time he was also under the supervision of the not-so-kind fellow that brought the bard to Radovid in the first place, whose name he later found out was Blade. (a bit on the nose if you asked Jaskier, but he named himself after a flower so who was he to judge?).

They had short auburn hair, hazel eyes and a lean physique that allowed them to move nimbly and blend in with their surroundings. It was a true feat because they usually kept their signature hood on, yet somehow their presence was hardly ever noticed.

Blade wasn’t always visible to the bard, preferring to stay in the shadows, but Jaskier knew he was constantly being watched by the ever-present tingling sensation at the back of his neck. And also because all his attempts to escape were immediately squashed.

The first time he tried was about a month in. He had played nice with Radovid in order to lower the king’s guard, while secretly mapping the castle’s interior in his mind. When he deemed his efforts sufficient, he made a run for it during a set break at a banquet. He managed to bypass a handful of knights and almost make it outside when Blade suddenly appeared, blocking his path. They rolled their eyes in disapproval and pulled out a knife, which they pointed at Jaskier and nodded for him to walk back towards the banquet hall.

Despite Jaskier’s fears, the king didn’t mention his little blunder that night. He acted completely normal, being sweet with the bard and talking about his day, to the point where Jaskier assumed Blade hadn’t mentioned it to him yet. But when he was pulled to the bed, it was with far less gentleness than usual. The king had placed him on his hands and knees, whereas he usually preferred positions that allowed them to make eye contact, and entered him after little preparation. He set a punishing pace, his hands leaving dark bruises on Jaskier’s hips, and completely ignored the bard’s pleasure. After he finished, he went to wash up, leaving the bard unfulfilled and dripping with Radovid’s seed on the mattress. They didn’t exchange any more words until the next day.

Some of his other notable efforts to break free included when he tried to sneak in a noble’s carriage unnoticed (it was stopped and searched at the gates), or when he pleaded with an old classmate from Oxenfurt, that had recently inherited his father’s title and had traveled to Tretogor with the intention of pledging allegiance to the crown, to deliver a message to Geralt. (Blade had interrupted them mid-conversation and told the noble that the king wanted to have a word. Jaskier never heard from him again.)

It was failure after failure, so Jaskier’s disheartened attempts became few and far in between. A part of him had even started to feel guilty for wasting Blade’s time. Following the bard around all day was probably tedious enough on its own. Privacy was a concept long forgotten but there was something almost comforting in the knowledge that Blade was never far behind, even if the bard couldn’t see them. Jaskier was so starved for genuine human connection that he was starting to become fond of his captor.

During daytime, while Radovid was busy dealing with his kingly affairs, Jaskier was left to wander around with no real purpose.

The library was, predictably, one of his favorite spots. It contained a vast variety of books that mostly focused on the politics of aristocracy and such topics, in contrast to those at the Oxenfurt Academy or the library in Kaer Morhen whose main subjects were poetry/sciences and encyclopedic knowledge on monsters respectively. Jaskier much preferred the latter two, but beggars can’t be choosers.

The kitchens were a precious place for the bard as well. The servants he usually encountered had at least some sort of idea of his importance to their king, while also being aware of Jaskier’s noble status, so their behavior towards him was strictly polite, maintaining a distance that none of Jaskier’s quips and jokes could manage to bridge.

The cooks and their helpers on the other hand, who were always steadfastly cooped up in their workspace, having no reason to venture outside of it as that’s where their responsibilities lied, knew nothing of Jaskier’s identity other than ‘renowned bard’. They had no clue what was happening outside their little bubble, and for that ignorance Jaskier was grateful.

The head chef, a kind older woman named Burneta, with distinct laugh lines visible around her eyes and messy braids wrapped in a bun, always welcomed him with excitement and treated him to bits and pieces of whatever she’d made that day, in return for a small exclusive performance that Jaskier gave with pleasure.

Her husband, Chleb, was more of the taciturn type, whose job was to help around with tasks that needed physical strength, like butchering entire cows and carrying in ingredients in bulk. He always glared at Jaskier and swiped at him with a towel when the bard made feign advances on his wife but the small grin as he did it gave his mirth away.

Sometimes Jaskier liked to take walks in the gardens. They were beautiful and well-groomed, containing hundreds of flower variations and a few rare species of birds that resided there. The sound of their chirping, the sun against his face and the light breeze that gently ruffled his hair made Jaskier feel alive.

Being outside gave him a sense of freedom, that though false, did wonders for his ever-declining mental health. Sadly, his access to the gardens had been recently restricted after yet another escape attempt. (He tried to jump over a fence only to find another, smaller garden on the other side. Blade was already there waiting for him unimpressed).

Nature had always been of big importance to Jaskier and being away from it made the fact that he was a prisoner all the more real. He couldn’t even look outside since most of the castle windows were decorated with stained glass illustrating Redania’s coat of arms, a crowned silver eagle on a red field, and other such designs.

Whoever created them was clearly skilled, every detail having been made with meticulousness. The colors were vibrant and yet the light that passed through them gave off an elegant glow without being blinding. Aside from their beauty they also served to inspire a sense of patriotism to the masses, while also showcasing the crown’s power and keeping the nobles in check.

When Jaskier was once dragged here by his father for official business as a child as the heir to the Lettenhove estate, he spent hours staring at them. It was the first time he was experiencing such awe. It inspired such powerful feelings to the young boy, the need to somehow captured them pushing him towards his first awkward attempts at poetry.

“I saw you back then.”

Radovid told him as they were lying in bed after a passion filled night. Jaskier had mentioned his long-time interest with the palace windows as a form of small talk, and he was surprised by the excited response he got. It almost felt like the king had been waiting for him to bring it up.

“I used to be a sickly child, and my brother was the heir, so I wasn’t allowed to venture outside my rooms much. My existence as a spare was rendered useless due to my poor health, with most considering the possibility of my survival to adulthood unlikely.” He twisted to his side in order to gather Jaskier in his arms. “Vizimir was nice to me though. He always made time in his busy schedule to come visit, even skipping his lessons on occasion.” He let out a wet laugh. “Though I suspect he was just using me as an excuse to avoid them.”

The king’s eyes were shining with unshed tears, his lips trembling. Vizimir’s death was obviously a raw subject still. This was one of Radovid’s rare shows of vulnerability that he only ever allowed in Jaskier’s presence. Those glimpses of his past self, the one the bard once fell in love with, made Jaskier’s heart swell despite everything.

Radovid shook his head to clear away the memories. “There was a council meeting that day and most of the servants were busy. Due to some sort of miscommunication, I was left unattended. When the hunger got too much, I stepped out by myself for the first time in search of food. The overall anxiety and the fear of being caught almost made me turn back on my heels.

But then, I saw a boy standing in the hallway. He had beautiful brown hair and the most stunning blue eyes. He didn’t notice me in his trance, seeming fascinated by the window décor. I had never met anyone my age and I didn’t know how to approach him, so I settled to just watching him. I think I was as fascinated by him as he was by the stained glass. He made me see it a new light. For me it was just part of the background, something I never thought to pay close attention to, but I wanted to understand the boy, see the world through his eyes. And so I looked again with this new perspective as if it was the first time. The beauty I’d overlooked for so long almost made me tear up.”

Radovid looked softly down at the bard and caressed his cheekbones with his knuckles. Jaskier’s mind was reeling from this revelation, not expecting it in the slightest.

“I later found out, after some pestering, that his name was Julian and that it was unlikely I’d ever see him again. That didn’t stop me from thinking about him though. When I heard the phrase ‘love at first sight’ a few years later, I knew exactly what it meant.”

The king chuckled and kissed Jaskier’s forehead. “I had never asked for much until that point but this wasn’t something I could stay quiet about. Vizimir promised me he’d keep an eye out for news about him and soon after I was informed that Julian had enrolled in Oxenfurt Academy. I begged and begged but my father wouldn’t allow me to attend. When I turned 18 I made up some excuse to visit the Lettenhove viscounty, but when I got there I was greeted by your cousin Ferrant. He told me you had relinquished your title to him and left, managing to slip right through my fingers…

After that instance I stayed out of trouble until my brother could safely ascend the throne, and then I started drinking, partying and the like. I developed an interest in music and poetry and frequently invited bards to perform for me and my circle. My favorite pieces were created by someone called ‘Jaskier’, but I never managed to contact him. Nevertheless, I continued revisiting his work because for some reason it was the only thing that made me feel anymore.”

Radovid pushed a shaken Jaskier to his back with a glint in his eye and gave the bard a long, open-mouthed kiss. “Then a miracle happened. Dijkstra and Philippa wanted my help, the war having left them with few options. I was going to refuse before they mentioned your stage name. They wanted me to use my royal status to convince you to bring them Princess Cirilla, but I didn’t much care for that. I was just excited to meet the person I’d been a fan of for so long.

When I caught your lute and we made eye contact, I instantly recognized you as the boy from my past. Our kiss that night at the Thanned island was one of my happiest moments. But then I fucked up. I tried to take the princess and you started to resent me. When we met again the next day, despite all I did, you gave me hope, and I wanted nothing more than to earn your trust. I returned to Redania and told my brother that I had found someone I wanted to be with and asked for his blessing to go to them. Vizimir agreed but I regrettably never got to depart for reasons you already know...”

Jaskier stared at him in shock. Radovid was going to abandon everything for his sake? That couldn’t be true, could it? No one would go to such lengths for him. Destiny had created an intricate plan ready to play out and Jaskier was but a mere storyteller, fated to follow the main characters around and record their heroic tales. He could help lighten the mood when things got tough and offer what little assistance he could as a weak mortal, but that’s where his role ended. His importance was insignificant in the grant scheme of things and to the people around him.

And yet Radovid held a different opinion. To him, the king of a powerful nation, Jaskier’s sole existence was valuable. He had never felt so wanted in his entire life. He didn’t even think it was possible.

The emotions he felt overwhelmed him. His heart was beating so fast it felt like it was about to burst through his chest. Jaskier grabbed Radovid’s head and pulled his face down, crashing their lips together. It was the first kiss he had initiated since their reunion.

The kiss deepened and Radovid’s hands moved lower down the bard’s body, his thrill at Jaskier’s response apparent. Jaskier’s senses were completely occupied by the man on top of him, he couldn’t see, hear, feel, smell or taste anything other than the king. That changed as soon as Radovid paused the kiss to start mouthing at his neck. With his eyesight back, Jaskier’s awareness started slowly creeping in. What was he doing? Why was he allowing this to happen? ...Was there even any point left in resisting?

Letting himself go would certainly be easier. He couldn’t get out of this situation either way so maybe acceptance was the best way forward. He could just pretend he was there willingly and ignore everything else… Jaskier was about to close his eyes and leave any rationality behind when Geralt’s disappointed face flashed through his mind. What would the witcher think if he could see him right now? If he saw how weak Jaskier was, how quickly he gave in? Besides, the bard didn’t choose this life and that’s not something he could forget no matter how much he wanted tried.

The king’s story may have sounded romantic at first but his actions spoke of something different, something darker, and Jaskier couldn’t allow this false narrative to override the truth.

Having made up his mind, Jaskier pushed Radovid off with as much strength as he could muster. The king was caught off guard and he stumbled backwards until he fell off the bed. It would have been a funny sight if it weren’t for the way Radovid immediately stood up, eyes blazing, and grabbed Jaskier’s hair to drag him close.

“What the hell was that?” All the sweetness from mere seconds ago had vanished.

Jaskier looked at him defiantly. “Something I should have done long ago. What you felt for me both in the past and present isn’t love. It’s obsession. You used the idea of me to help you get through hard times, I get it, and your feelings may have been genuine once but I fear that time is long gone. If you cared about me even a little bit you wouldn’t have fucking kidnapped me! All you care about is yourself and I’m done keeping quiet just to appease you!” he yelled, releasing all his pent-up frustration and misery. The adrenaline coursing through his veins was making him light-headed combined with the overwhelming surge of gratification.

Radovid’s jaw clenched but his expression was eerily calm as he moved his hand from the bard’s hair to wrap around his neck. He slowly started squeezing.

“If that’s what you think then there’s nothing I can do. You’ve had months to come to terms with the situation, and I’ve gone above and beyond to make you comfortable. I’ve been so fucking patient and this is how you repay me?!” Radovid’s harsh voice gradually got louder as he spoke. “I gave you a rare gift, but you didn’t want it.”

In the blink of an eye, he had maneuvered Jaskier on his back against the bed, choking him still. The grip was tight enough that the bard’s airways were completely closed, and he was left desperately gasping for air. He tried to claw Radovid’s arm away, which didn’t budge an inch.

“But there’s something you’re forgetting darling. Remember what I said to you at our little reunion when you refused to join me?”

Jaskier’s vision was beginning to blacken, but even then, the memory flashed clearly through his mind. He let out what was meant to be a whimper but came out as a choking sound.

Radovid understood the recognition in the bard’s eyes and he smirked cruelly in response. His free hand came up to stroke Jaskier’s torso, running through his chest hair and pinching a nipple when it came into contact with it. He leaned close to give a teasing little bite to Jaskier’s lower lip before hissing in his ear:

“If you won’t come with me willingly, I’ll just have to take you by force.”

That was the last thing Jaskier heard before everything went dark.

[cadrenebula]

Prompt #19: Taken

Nebula was puzzled as they stared at the slowly growing pile of things that had been handed to them over the last couple days. People around here seemed nervous around them even. Handing them gifts and flitting off as if spooked. It was confusing to say the least.

The gifts ranged from foods to flowers to semi-precious stones. Nebula couldn't recall doing anything to deserve such items from the people in this deeper part of the woods. They barely interacted with some of the other villages this deep. These villages were much like the one they had been born into, keeping separate from the larger world and it's dangers.

"I just don't understand this..." Nebula mumbled as they looked over one of the stones. It was pretty but they didn't feel like they'd done anything to deserve all these gifts either.

"They're trying to stay in your good graces apparently." Gwyn spoke as she arrived back to their camp and took a seat across the fire from Nebula. "I tried talking to a few of them without you around to see if they'd bother to talk to me at least."

"And? What luck did you have?" Nebula raised a brow curiously.

"They think you're a fae creature that will take their children away from them if they do something to displease you. Apparently you and Karma have created some deep woods stories for yourselves. Unintentionally I'm sure." Gwyn laughs merrily at the sour expression on their partner's face. "Stories aren't necessarily bad, love. It can also be a good thing. They're likely to easily turn over any magical artifacts you want to take back to your village without any real fuss."

"I suppose that is true... But I don't like the idea that they think I will take their children away like some monster..." Nebula huffs softly as they cross their arms and scowl. "Karma wouldn't even eat children."

"I know that. They don't know that. And I find no harm in them continuing to believe the stories. Keep letting them believe you're some fae being. You should have heard some of the stories of my lady in her time. Many were exaggerated. Some were helpful by letting them be believed. Maybe they'll start thinking I'm some ice fae solider who guards you." Gwyn teased as she pulled out her waterskin to take a drink.

"Ha... Ha..." Nebula huffed before they sighed softly in defeat. "I suppose I can leave the stories. I just wish they'd stop trying to give me gifts."

"Well I for one am not turning down free meals. It's one less thing we have to hunt for this deep in the woods. One less set of rations we have to make last till we head back towards the cities. If anything, just promise them they are safe. Act like their generosity has appeased you enough already." Gwyn shrugged as she made the suggestion.

"I suppose that may work. Though I will also try not to turn down any offered meals. But only if they seem like they have enough to spare feeding us. I won't use these stories and rumors just for a free meal if it means hardship for them."

"I would never think you would. You stayed with us for moons. You always offered to help because you insisted. It's not in you to take advantage of those at the bottom. Not like those holier than everyone else high lords in Ishgard."

"Of course not." Nebula put the gifts away before getting up to move to sit with Gwyn, snuggling in close and resting their head against her.

[fa-by]

Hiiii babies and dear Anons 👋🏼🤗. I'm back with a new Q&A post. And I know, I know, I've been gone for a few months and I'm sorry 😭. My life is a mess between work and my health especially. I haven't been well for 3 years in a row now and I haven't had peace since then 🥺. I'm sorry to disappear like this but you must also understand that answering your asks takes time which unfortunately I don't always have.

Before starting I'd like to add that I haven't answered all the asks. I don't think there's any need to post the various  “I miss you” (I missed you guys too btw❤️), “come back”, or questions with the same type of topic such as Camila's coming out. In that case, I chose just one ask to answer the many. A special virtual hug 🤗🤗 to the purple heart 💜 Anon: Thank you as always for your understanding and all your kind words, my dear. The answer to your ask about my thoughts on I LUV IT can be found in the last ask.

Having said that, now let's move on directly to the answers. Enjoy 🙃.

🤭😉🤣😜😏😎

Hello to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄. I've been better, what about you?

Yeah, sadly. Unfortunately, there are so many who believe in the narratives because they don't really know how things work behind the scenes.

The link in the ask for those who want to see it: https://x.com/iblf1317/status/1775326171971862734?s=46&t=4knNAwPkOIO0jCg9CscblA.

Anon, have a good day too 😄.

No, it wasn't real. I think I've talked about this before, but anyway. They've spread that rumor for years and on different occasions, but it's never been true. It was, and probably still is, just the fantasy/hope taken from the fanfictions of some fans who tried in every way to pass it off as reality.

Hi to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄.

That's what I've been saying for years... People like those who put out and spread this bullshit are the shame of this ship.

Hiiii to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄. I've been better, what about you?

Yeeep. They were as subtle as an elephant in a glass store 🤣.

Hello to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄.

1) [Do u believe personally that Camren are still together?]

Yeah, I do 😉. Even though they had and still have their ups and downs with periods of breaks.

2) [If so why do u think they have stopped giving us hints like they used to?]

They haven't 🤣. They never stopped 😜. The hints are no longer daily as they were years ago, but they're still there.

3) [Unless I’ve missed them-] Lots apparently 🤣.

[-in which case do u have an example?] A recent one: boobs 🤭. *if you understand, you understand*.

I saw what you did there 😍 my favorite CC1 song 🥰 Have a great day too 🙃.

Leasing Tumblr forever to whom? And of course not 🤣. Unless you meant leaving and not leasing? I know it was a typo, don't worry I'm just joking 😜. Anyway, yes, I've thought about it many times due to my unwanted long absences, but I don't want to 🤷🏻‍♀️. I in fact come back every time I have a little freer time to write 💪🏼.

Thank you for your nice thoughts about my health, dear 🤗.

Hi to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄.

Brazil has no comparison with any other for Camren 🤣🤣🤣. Naah, they've never been super popular here in Italy. Both Camren and 5H unfortunately.

Hiiii to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄. I've been better, what about you?

I did in 2018 if I'm not mistaken. It's a great one-shot! And I remember having teary eyes in some parts. I recommend everyone who hasn't yet to go and read it 🙃.

Hi to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄. I've been better, what about you?

Yep, it was Laur. I have no idea why they thought that 🤷🏻‍♀️. Maybe they thought so because of their especially at the beginning stereotypical images as Mila “the innocent doll” and Laur “the intimidating badass” 🙄🙄. If that's why, a lot of people portrayed Lo as the top 🤣. I don't know what to tell you, dear. They're still fanfics so Camren's perspectives from their fantasies or maybe they simply perceived them in that way in reality as well. Who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Hi to you too, dear German Anon 👋🏼😄.

I must admit that with “texts”, for a second, just a tiny lil second, you had me worried there 🤣. You know, because texts is mainly used to refer to phone text messages 🤣. I understood immediately that you were referring to my posts, don't worry, dear 🙃. I just wanted to point that out to make you laugh 😉.

Thank you for your kind words 😊. I really appreciate it 🥰. I'm here if you have any questions for me, although there's a possibility that you'll get the answer late 😅. And don't worry about your English. I'm Italian and therefore it's not my mother tongue for me either.

Have a nice day, and stay safe and healthy too 🤗.

Hi to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄. I've been better, what about you?

I do actually. Just mobile games. I have a few but I'm obsessed with one in particular called Hustle Castle (you have to have loooooots of patience for this type of game).

I used to play a lot more when I was younger and had a lot freer time. I've had the Game Boy Color, two PlayStations (1&3; the latter still in my room gathering dust for I don't know how many years 😅), the PSP (like the PS3, still in my room in some drawer gathering dust for I don't know how many years 😅), and I've played a few PC games.

What about you?

Hi to you too, my dear K 👋🏼😄.

[Hi faby sorry to hear ur still not been good health wise but glad ur feeling better.]

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[hoping there not gonna pull some shit for the talentless boy]

They won't, don't worry.

[Can’t remember if u have been asked this b4 but what’s been ur fave collab C’s done? There’s a few I like but god have they made her do some awful once’s where is obviously totally for the guys benefit. Think my fav would be bad things I can’t say I like the guy but love the song.]

Even though I love Bad Things and I absolutely love all the collaborations she's done on her albums, movies, and outside of her albums like Hey Ma, Find U Again, and KU LO SA, I think it's a tie between Beautiful with Bazzi and South of The Border with Ed Sheeran and Cardi B.

[Also don’t know about u or anyone else but I miss her posting about thunder he seems like a complete handful and I still piss my self laughing when I think of that pr vid walking all her dogs 🤣🤣]

Same 🤣. It's a forever meme 🤣🤣🤣🤣.

[I’m curious if that training camp thing they did with thunder if it worked but feel like we need more content with him after that stunt particularly think the whole fandom fell in love with thunder 🤣 I’ve always loved to have a German shepherd. What dog breed is urs?]

My baby girl is a Yorkie and Jack Russell crossbreed 😍.

[Maybe u could share a pic of him? U totally don’t have to but as I’m sure ur aware by now I love animals 😂]

Part of me would love to with all my heart believe me, especially to proudly show you how beautiful she is 😍😍😍, but I don't wanna show my private life here. Maybe in the future, who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️. Thanks for your understanding and don't worry, I love animals too 🥰.

By the way, to give you an idea of what she looks like, she's similar to this awesome young man: https://images.app.goo.gl/GibAuesAin3X2PkV8

[Btw do u know why D and C haven’t shared any pics etc with each other hanging out or when/if they ever will?]

They finally have the freedom of likes and comments, so I think we'll have pics in the future but only if they're gonna see each other at public events. Not private meetings' pics. Too soon for that 🙄.

[I really miss them together for me it was always them and L I didn’t like N and A sorry I know ppl won’t be happy but we all individuals with our own likes and dislike 🤷🏻‍♀️ at the end of the day]

I understand, don't worry. As a lover of all 5H, however, I'm sorry you don't like Normally 🥺.

[Sending u a virtual hug 🤗 and well wishes and look forward to ur reply in a few months time 😏😂 I’m kidding 😘]

No joke there 😅. It really was like that. Sorry 😅. A virtual hug and well wishes to you too, my dear K 😘.

Heyyy to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄. I'm still fighting to get healthy again, what about you?

You mean this?

Link: https://twitter.com/Camila_Cabello/status/662777249486237697.

@ alrenajou is private now and that's why the comment “I’ts camren yo” is no longer visible, but as you can see, Mila's response is still there.

Anyway, what do I think about it? I think that as I already explained in my Inauguration post (penultimate question), the sun and the moon have and have always had a special place in their hearts regardless of Camren and that therefore Mila simply explained this with that answer 🤷🏻‍♀️.

May 2024 bring a lot of happiness to you too, dear 🙃.

Hiii to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄. I've been better, what about you? Aww, I'm here, don't be sad 🥺. I missed you guys too 🥺.

I did and I was/am in love 😍. Tell your friend the snippet goes: “Can’t stop looking at her. Caught up in every curve. She knows she’s divine. I can’t take my eyes off her”. 😉

Hi to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄. I've been better, what about you?

Can I say it's both? 🤣 I'll explain myself better.

My story is based on true events that occurred from July 2016 onwards. It's based on the real them. Like, if I say that Camila likes a certain song, or that Lauren likes a specific food, or that they were wearing that dress, or that they did something specific during that day it's because it's true. It really happened and it's proven and “documented”. But it's obviously a fanfic, so I included things that didn't actually happen and fictional people that serve the purpose of the story. This is the AU part (for those who don't know what AU means: alternate universe/alternate timeline/alternative reality).

So, it's both? 🤣

Hi to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄. I've been better, what about you?

Taylor Swift is waaay more popular than either of them. Taylor Swift is pretty much the music industry, and yet, do you see her out and proud?

Some artists can come out, some can't. Many artists want to and can't for a million reasons which you can also go read in my PR stunt relationships - ɟ post. And then there are those who don't even want to do it and are super okay with that. Have you ever thought about that?

An advice, dear? Don't be so pressed about it. This is something that has been going on for years. If it happens, it will happen at the appropriate time for their careers and especially by choice in the case of those who don't wanna do it yet 💁🏻‍♀️.

P.S. Don't be so pressured about it especially because I know the truth, you know the truth, we know the truth, AND SHE KNOWS AND SAYS THE TRUTH: https://x.com/ijustshippeople/status/1793806403720618264?s=09&prefetchTimestamp=1716859323652 🎤🎶 This is for the gays and the girls and I'm both, thanks 🎶🎤

Alexa please play the post-chorus of We Know by Fifth Harmony 🤣.

Hi to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄. Thanks 🥰 and please don't be sad 🥺 I'm here and I missed you guys too.

Well, considering that queerbaiting is a marketing technique and strategy, literally a bait, the answer is yes, my dear. But it's movies (like in Pitch Perfect), TV shows (like in Supergirl), and the media in general that do it, not celebrities. It's the people behind the scenes like celebrity teams that do it, and it has existed for years. An example? When Madonna kissed Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera at the 2003 MTV VMAs (Madonna is queer but Britney and Christina are not). Do you really think it wasn't premeditated by their teams? It's been 20 years and it's still a “scandal” today. The term queerbaiting didn't even exist at the time, yet that's exactly what happened 💁🏻‍♀️.

As for Mila, why is this so upsetting to you? Aren't there those out there who believe that she's really been with all the PRs? Aren't there those who believe that she's gay but that Camren never existed? Or those who, as you also said, believe that she's straight? Or those who don't even like Camila in the first place? And who cares? Let people think what they want, dear Anon. We don't all think the same way. Everyone has an opinion, and it's also right that it is like that. There's no need to be upset or sad or angry about it. The important thing is what you think and what you believe. Fuck the rest.

Hi to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄. I've been better, what about you?

Let's put it this way. Has it ever happened to you that someone, like your mom, or a friend, or a sibling if you have one, was angry with you but wouldn't tell you why? I can picture a mom saying “you know what you did”, but you have absolutely no idea 🤣. And what did you do in those cases? You were trying to remember and understand what you did, right? What if you couldn't? You had to get them to tell you why otherwise you would've continued to rack your brain and they would've continued to be angry.

Another example. Four people, four friends. Person number one tells a funny secret of theirs to two of them but not to the third one. The two who know the secret are chatting and laughing among themselves when the third one arrives, who curious about their laughter, asks what they're talking about. The two tell the third that they can't tell because it's person number one's secret. How do you think person number three feels about this? Left out, hurt, angry, and can't do anything but fantasize about this secret because, literally, they don't know what it is.

Babies don't talk, but moms try to understand their needs through their sounds, facial expressions, and body gestures/movements. My dog doesn't talk, but she sure as hell barks, growls, howls, groans, and whines. Those besides her tail, ears, eyes, her facial expressions, and her body posture are all nonverbal ways to communicate with her hooman mom 😍.

Communicating is the most important way for human beings to express and exchange ideas and thoughts. Without it, misunderstandings, disagreements, fights, and so on arise. You can apply this to all kinds of relationships, not just romantic ones. So, what I'm trying to say with all this, is that no one can read minds. Camren are no different.

Ego, fears, insecurities, anxieties, constantly hurting one another, and other factors led to their closing up. But the problem wasn't only that they didn't open up to each other, but that they didn't talk at all. They didn't talk about their problems. And if they weren't talking, how could they understand what they were feeling or what they were thinking or what they needed or what was truly going on? It's normal that the not communicating has led them to close up and automatic to distancing. As they say, communication is the key.

I hope it makes sense now, my dear 😄, and to understand even better, you can go and read these analyses: Let Me Know (penultimate ask) -  Always Love & This Love (the last two asks) - Consequences (penultimate ask).

Hii to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄. I've been better, what about you?

No bother, dear, don’t worry I’m happy to help 😉. Let's start by explaining the fake relationship in detail. And sorry for all the links, but since Tumblr has limited the possibility of posting more than 30 pics, I have to adapt 😤.

So. The “story” with Austin Kevitch (July 5, 1991,*same year I was born* 30 years old when they started “dating”) lasted only 8 months. It was born thanks to Nicholas Galitzine (Cinderella) because “Austin asked him to set him up with Camila”, and this not-at-all organized introduction because her team wasn't also there no 🤨🤣, took place at Mila's 25th birthday party (https://images.app.goo.gl/SWii7EJAgrX4dJuAA he has the same outfit https://twitter.com/justmyneverland/status/1717430804861858155).

First spotting and first speculations on June 15, 2022, in LA (https://images.app.goo.gl/6XVQsBaHbvo8rV3N8).

As I explained in my PR stunt relationships - ɟ https://fa-by.tumblr.com/post/648193061847023616/pr-stunt-relationships-%C9%9F post: “To give the couple more credibility, also friends, family, and artists friends of the couple get involved many times”. Indeed, on July 3, 2022, they were on the beach in Miami with a bunch of their friends. The press however already tried to create a scandal with articles about “a mysterious man” (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-10978909/Camila-Cabello-goes-swim-hunky-mystery-man-beach-Coral-Gables.html). That was just a friend and Austin was there (she has the same swimsuit and earrings https://www.instagram.com/p/CkJHkKms_--/?igsh=MWlmcm1jM2pndGhsYg==). Just an excuse to get people talking more about her 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Usual mistakes that are made during PRs: on July 16, 2022, Austin was at a concert with his friends and a girl in particular (perhaps his real girlfriend) who he kissed during the evening (https://www.tiktok.com/@isleywalker23/video/7128998171874807045  &  https://www.instagram.com/p/Cgo6sMxAeiM/?igsh=bmJqbmI5YmxkdjRi).

On July 27, 2022, they were together at the after-party of the third season premiere of  HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL: THE MUSICAL (https://www.tiktok.com/@ccromancemusic/video/7125646229312244998).

On August 6, 2022, in San Diego with his friends (https://www.tiktok.com/@ccromancemusic/video/7129091570619403525?lang=it-IT).

On August 7, 2022, in LA. Actual official confirmation of their ‘story’ from the press (https://images.app.goo.gl/LyvKAcnbbAeXfhEc6)

On September 17, 2022, at the Coldplay concert (she was the opening act) in Bogota, Colombia (https://www.youtube.com/shorts/VYgsBRt4Lro). They weren't alone tho. In the video you can also very well see Sandra and Marielle (her friends who, like her parents, were with her for the whole tour and who saw the concert with them and whom she introduced to Dua Lipa), Patrick (makeup artist), and Gian Mitchell (her manager).

On September 20, 2022, arrived in Santiago, Chile, for the tour with the Coldplay (still cause she was the opening act) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0cBtgzYzak). And on the afternoon of the 22nd at the Mall Casa Costanera Center (https://www.fmdos.cl/musica/camila-cabello-en-chile-va-a-un-reconocido-mall-y-regala-entradas/).

On November 19, 2022, via Austin's sister's instastory: https://www.instagram.com/p/ClKHhXmM0J0/?igsh=cDlwM2JrMDh3ajJq.

On November 21, 2022, in LA when Mila duetted Liar with BLACKPINK's Jisoo (https://www.koreaboo.com/news/blackpink-jisoo-rose-jennie-lisa-camila-cabello-liar-born-pink-world-tour-unseen-footage-interaction-collaboration/), and in addition to some members of Mila's team, his friend and Lox Club co-founder Alec Lorraine was also there with them (https://www.instagram.com/jisooyaachu/reel/ClLLkhlgCT_/).

On November 17, 2022, out for dinner in LA (https://www.justjared.com/2022/11/18/camila-cabello-boyfriend-austin-kevitch-spotted-on-rare-outing-they-could-barely-control-their-laughter-photos/).

And lastly, during the trip to Africa with her family in early January 2023 (https://twitter.com/WWCamilaCabello/status/1611479321251663880). Last time seen together before the breakup.

End announced on February 15, 2023, via the newsletter of the Lox Club itself, which he owns:

Ended because “they couldn't balance their relationship with their schedules”.

Now, you said [I know you will say it’s PR but I don’t understand how…from what I have seen it was pretty low-key compared to Shawn’s and Matthew’s.]

Yes, it was PR, you can already tell by the fact that their pics are marked with Backgrid, and yes, it was pretty low-key because it had to be. The one with Matryoshka was pushed a bit more than this one, first of all, because it was her first one as an adult outside of 5H, and second of all, because it was supposed to represent her “first love” and her “first relationship”. The one with Shrimp, well 🤣, the friends-to-lovers crap. It's not comparable with anything because it's and will be for quite some time “her most important love story”. In Snape's voice (in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix during the legilimens spell): “I may vomit” 🙄.

The PR with Austin, again, was pretty low-key because it had to be. It had to be out there to get people talking just enough (I indeed don't think you knew all those details), but not completely in our faces. Something else had to continue to be in our faces. One of two reasons for this PR: Shawn Mendes Shall Menstruated.

Every headline or directly in the articles, every news always included his name: …before her relationship with Shawn Mendes – Shawn Mendes who? – …she moved on from her ex-Shawn Mendes – Shawn, are you okay? – …following her breakup from longtime boyfriend Shawn Mendes – What will Shawn Mendes think about… – Shawn Shawn Shawn Shawn Shawn Shawn Shawn Shawn FOR FUCK’S SAKE!! 🤨😑😒🙄

And indeed, what happened to the breakup with Austin? More news bombardments. And right after that? Coachella 🤢🤮 arm-in-arm with ‘June Gloom’.

ShitMila was all over our faces again on April 14, 2023 (until June 7, 2023, official news released by The Sun; luckily only 1 month and 24 days). On April 12, 2023, Mila recorded a snippet titled ‘CC JUNE GLOOM 041223b’ which she later posted on IG on April 19, 2023, and deleted a few hours later. The caption itself said 4.12, meaning April 12th when she recorded it as I just said. Of course that was the BIG confirmation that she was referring to Shitto. And then, among other things, where’s the logic of June Gloom in April? Does it even have any logic? Like their entire PR, nope.

Anyway, I told you the first reason for the PR with Austin. Now I'll explain the second one: attention and publicity. Again, as I explained in my PR stunt relationships - ɟ post: “A PR stunt relationship is nothing more than a PUBLICITY STUNT, as the word itself implies, aimed to get people and media attention”.

Imagine the various news as accessories to staying relevant. I can give you lots of examples, even quite recent ones:

Camila Cabello debuts red hair for the KU LO SA remix. Camila Cabello was seen stepping into sex shop Adam & Eve in West Hollywood. Camila Cabello and Drake papped together. Camila Cabello shared a new Instagram video showing off her new unrecognizable platinum blonde hair. Camila Cabello tried multiple hair colors and wigs before she settled on blonde. While walking the Met Gala red carpet, Camila Cabello shared her $22.5K handcrafted ice block purse and her gown, which Vogue reports weighed 15 pounds and was encrusted with 250,000 Swarovski crystals. Camila Cabello & Lil Nas X throw condoms at a gay bar to promote their new collaboration.

All that, all of it, is an ‘accessory’ to get people talking about her. To publicize HER first and foremost and to promote something else at the same time. Like, the sex toy shop example was an example to publicize only her as a person in general. A silly scoop to get the public talking about her. Why? Because it happened in January 2022 and she wasn't promoting anything at that time.

Why would something like that be used to publicize her, you may be wondering? Because a silly scoop like that, or another one like the platinum blond reveal she did before she even started the promo for I LUV IT, makes her stay relevant. Those types of publicity are purposely made to get the public to talk about celebrities and stay in their mouths even when they're not doing anything inherent in their careers. A way that seems stupid but that is actually very effective in ensuring that people don't ‘forget’ about them but keep up with them and their lives. Different, on the other hand, from the examples that serve to publicize her and something else at the same time, that is those for the songs KU LO SA and HE KNOWS in those examples. Those are more targeted.

Her PR with Austin was nothing more than another accessory like these. Again, low-key because it had to be, and because it was a light PR that was meant to contribute to the ‘love’ visibility and the promotion of some projects. I'll explain better.

[Also why she was in a relationship with him right after like with Shawn.] She didn't indeed. Almost 7 months passed.

Mila and Shapeless Mentality officially broke up on November 17, 2021. Since then, in addition to small projects, collaborations, brand promotion, events, and other non-major things, Mila was busy with the promotion of Familia (April 8, 2022) for pretty much the entire 2022. In between the continuation of the promotion of Familia and the start of the filming of The Voice, bam, Austin entered the scene. Precisely in the middle of these events: Wango Tango 2022, June 4, 2022 – Austin, June 15, 2022 – The Voice, start of filming on June 23, 2022.

Austin was the accessory she needed to get people talking about her love life in the midst of promoting all the other projects Mila had throughout the year. A small push in promoting Familia, The Voice, collaborations, and other small projects with brands aside, but above all, a way to create yet another fake narrative ‘she's moving on with someone else’ by always keeping Sandalwood in the mind of the public. Same thing with him in reverse btw: Shon Mentos with his cult Jocelyne Miranda, 51-year-old chiropractor to the stars, and with singer and actress Sabrina Carpenter.

They were basically making preparations for their return. These little side PRs of theirs, served their own PR (ShitMila). The fucked-up bullshit of the bullshit: “they realized how special their love story was and wanted to try again”. A reminder for the public to remember that they did try with other people, but no one else was comparable. Excuses and justifications for the narrative of their ‘story’ and their future songs to hide their real private lives.

I hope I've helped you understand how now, my dear Anon 🙃.

The link in the ask for those who want to see it: https://indepreneur.io/articles/5-reasons-never-sign-record-deal/

Hi to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄.

I can help you with 2 posts I wrote about the topic (read them in order): How the music world works and this one.

After reading the second post (come back here and read this 😄), I can add that:

X-Factor contracts usually have a duration ranging from 6-7 years minimum, to 9-10 years maximum. Through the individual contracts signed in the semi-final week (December 12/13, 2012), Syco obtained the exclusive right to sign a recording contract with Fifth Harmony. Connecting to those signed contracts, on January 17, 2013, 5H officially signed the contract as group members with Syco in collaboration with Epic (both Sony), to which Simco Ltd. gave the exclusive licensing rights for 5 albums that they should've completed in the duration of those 10 years (2012-2022). A 5-album deal is a 4+1. This means that a label has the ability to collect 4 studio albums (LPs), and the +1 could also be considered an EP.

Due to the 5-album agreement that 5H should’ve completed in the duration of what we fans initially hoped would be either 6 or 7 years (2012-2018 or 2019), it was believed that, initially the years would be 6 and therefore Better Together, Reflection, 7/27, Fifth Harmony (self-titled), and Camila (self-titled) were the end of that deal, and that the release of Camila (self-titled) completed the 4 contracted LPs. This meant that the girls were free from their group obligations with Epic/Syco and could either disband or go on hiatus, and pursue their personal options with other labels. But despite this being the case because on March 19, 2018, the group decided to take an indefinite hiatus to pursue solo projects, none of the 4 girls (LAND) released an LP.

Fast forward to a year later, we saw the first LAND member release something other than a single and a collaboration: an EP. The release of Dinah Jane 1 released on April 19, 2019, made people believe that the years of that agreement were actually 7 also because Romance was published the same year. It was therefore believed that Reflection, 7/27, Fifth Harmony (self-titled), Camila (self-titled), and Romance were the end of that deal and that Romance had completed the 5 contracted LPs because Better Together wasn't considered the +1 by the labels.

Fast forward again to 5H's 10th anniversary and therefore the 10-year (2012-2022) X-Factor contract, and none of LAND released an LP yet. But, Mila released Familia and left Epic Records that same year, which makes me think that that deal didn't even count Fifth Harmony (self-titled) as an LP when they renegotiated the terms for Camila's exit from 5H.

For those who don't know, among the various renegotiations made in March 2015 after Mila turned 18 there were:

1) the designation of Roger Gold as her manager and also as her attorney,

2) the abandonment of the FIFTH HARMONY PARTNERSHIP brand (explained in the second link),

3) the renegotiation of her original contract by signing a solo deal for music, distribution, and management also with Sony. The contract basically implied the same things as the one she signed with Syco Entertainment in 2013 (which I remind you that only she and Lauren signed – they could make music both individually and together with the group). Since then, Mila was under Syco Entertainment and Sony Music Entertainment, and Syco Music and Epic Records with Fifth Harmony, which were all owned by Sony in the first place anyway.

So this means that that new contract, not only stipulated that Mila would’ve stayed only one more year in the group as we already know, but that it was a 3-album solo contract that would’ve completed 5H's original deal for the 5 X-Factor contract's LPs. As a result of all this, 5H's original contract of 5-album (4+1) considered these as the 5 LPs: Reflection and 7/27 as a group, and Camila (self-titled), Romance, and Familia on Camila's part. Fifth Harmony (self-titled) was basically just an exit deal for LAND in the contract they re-signed as a quartet in 2017 with Sony Music.

In 2023 and therefore 10 years after the signing on January 17, 2013, none of LAND released an LP yet, but since after Familia and Camila's public exit from Epic in September 2022, all 5 of them are presumably free from any contractual restrictions they had with X-Factor and Epic musically speaking. Even though we had no LPs, we were still fed and the girls were all on the move: 1) Mila with Trolls 3, Rob Peace, and the album recording, 2) Laur with her second EP and the album recording, 3) Dinah with 3 songs (one of which with Ally) and the album recording, 4) Mani with Freaky Tales' end of shooting  (in January 2023) and the album recording (she was also far too busy, rightly so, taking care of her parents who both had cancer), 5) Ally with a single, the Christmas EP, and the album recording despite having a complete and ready Spanish one but which is now in the vault.

Fast forward again to the present, 2024. Surprise-surprise, Laur, Dinah, and Ally are completing their LPs, Mani's ready to release Dopamine, her first LP, and Mila's ready to release C, XOXO, her fourth LP.

2023 basically served all 5 of them as a reorganization and a planning for their future, but LAND were already free to release LPs. They're ready now.

I hope I've helped you, my dear, and I hope you are well too 🙃.

Hiii to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄. I hope you're good too and about your ask, sure 😉.

So. I LUV IT ft. Playboi Carti released on March 27, 2024, is the first single for her fourth LP: C, XOXO. It's a hyperpop/experimental pop song and it samples Lemonade by Gucci Mane and interpolates Cockiness (Love It) by my queen RiRi (Rihanna). The studio recording with Carti was completed on Dec 17, 2023: (Carti's instastory)

Let me tell you something, this song was meant to shock. She pulled a Yes, and? and it worked 😎. For those of you who don't know what I'm referring to by that, I meant that Yes, and? was Ariana Grande's single for her album Eternal Sunshine and it's a diva house/dance-pop song, which was a different and unexpected genre especially then comparing it to the rest of the songs in the album when it was later released. It's a great song, but if it weren't for the concept that connects to two other songs, it would have nothing to do with the rest of the album musically and sonically speaking. It was a calculated idea to make it different from the rest. It's very smart and it's a good strategy for both a comeback and an album. I feel like I LUV IT is exactly the same thing. An impactful comeback was needed and this, together with the platinum blonde and the new era in general, served the purpose. The song was meant to be talked about for better or for worse. And guess what? Mission accomplished 😜.

This song is not for everyone. There are those who loved it right away, those who hated it and still do, and there are those who hated it and then slowly loved it. In reality, most people hated it and then loved it 🤣. I personally didn't hate it but I didn't love it right from the start either, not gonna lie. I just liked it 🤷🏻‍♀️. But after the third listen? Bouncing ass, tongue out, aaaand I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it 🤣!! This song is definitely a grower! The more you listen to it, the more you become addicted to it 😍.

But anyway. Unlike the video, the lyrics talk about sex. So let's get started. Oh and, of course, I won't include Carti's mumbled Atlanta rap or as his fans say, the Cartinese, simply because he wrote his part.

***Btw, I can no longer listen to Carti’s “Oh, you on the road now? - Oh, you grown now? - Oh, you too grown now” without bursting out laughing 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣. I can't help but hear Nas' imitation of Carti's voice in the HE KNOWS music video🤣🤣🤣. For me, those three sentences have now become just one repeated X3: “Oh, you on the floor now” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣***

Oh oh oh, last thing before starting. If you're a prude, LEAVE NOW. Skip the whole lyric analysis and go straight to the music video analysis. The song is about sex like I just said and I therefore won't hold back from explaining certain things, okay? I warned you 🙋🏻‍♀️. I don't wanna see complaints in the comments as happened years ago. Thank you.

Song

Verse 1:

“Supersonic, in your orbit”

So, supersonic. One word from which two derive: super and sonic. Super: above the rest, better than the rest. Sonic: derived from the Latin ‘sonus’ which means sound. Super-sound. Basically a loud noise, a sound/sonic boom that (the actual meaning of supersonic:) breaks the acoustic barrier by traveling at a speed faster than the one of sound. A flight can be supersonic. As well as a missile and even a gun bullet.

An orbit is an ever-changing path one object in space takes around another. An unscientific example? A dog with its favorite toy often orbits their owner insistently because they want to play with them. Speaking from personal experience here 🤣.

***Oh and, lil fun fact. In prostitution specifically, orbit was, and perhaps still is, a code word for oral sex***

Ultimately, “Supersonic, in your orbit” means that Mila is this supersonic boom, this let's even say supersonic shock that orbits around her prey. As I've said many other times in my analysis, Mila likes to use wordplay in her songs and this is basically her artistic way of explaining sexual provocation. She's provoking her target.

“And I’m bad, diabolic”

It's giving intense energy and mischief out of the ordinary 😜. She knows she's good at it (provocation). She has a goal (to sleep with her) and succeeds because we have the aftermath of her intent in the next sentence.

“Bottle rocket, on the carpet”

Her favorite lyrics because many people didn't grasp the meaning 🤣. Definition of bottle rocket: a firework typically consisting of a cylindrical case that is partly filled with combustible material and fastened to a guiding stick which may be placed in a bottle to control the direction of the rocket's launch.

In this case, in sex, bottle rocket is the representation of cuming hard in an explosive way.

Rockets have a phallic shape, so the first thing that's assumed here is that it's the sperm that's on the carpet, also because the song acts as straight 🙄, but where's the deception? Even girls can give someone a bottle rocket. How? By being an explosion and not a normal female cum orgasm, with female ejaculation also known as squirting.

Ergo, she's talking about herself. This song is not about sex with a guy and I can even prove that with the next sentence.

“Threw it back and he caught it”

Round two, doggy-style position. Movements: “Threw it back” her ass “and she caught it” with the hands by placing it directly back on the face aka mouth-tongue (clue about the lil fun fact I mentioned earlier) or by directing the entrance of the cave of wonders on the dildo (since Camren loves toys so much 😜🤣🤭). But, given the “he” because, again, the song acts as straight 🙄, the meaning should make you think of the guiding on the dick. But no. As I said before, I can prove it.

When guys cum, it literally takes them a while before they can go again. Some need 10/15 minutes, others hours or directly the next day because they literally physically can't. It's rare anyway that they manage to go beyond the second round (unless they're in the midst of adolescence and are like 14/15 years old 🤣), and those who miraculously can make it, also last very little and their cum is also very little. And mind you, I'm not saying these things to belittle men. I'm not making anything up. It's the pure truth. Not only have I experienced it myself (cause yes, hi 👋🏼, I've been with my gf for 3 years but I'm bisexual and I've had relationships before her), but these are facts that you can even look up if you don't believe me.

It's obviously not the same for all guys and they're all different, but us girls literally need 5 seconds or nothing at all to recover, and we don't have limits like they do. Unlike males, we females can have multiple orgasms. Sexual arousal and orgasm are possible again right away. So no. It's impossible she was talking about a guy.

If she was really talking about a guy, it's impossible that immediately after his Bottle rocket, on the carpet (yet another proof that Mila was talking about her cuming, her squirting) he didn't need some enough available time for round two (Threw it back and he caught it). Let’s move on 💪🏼.

“I go soprano, baby, go down low”

Soprano in music is the highest note, so in this case, going soprano means she's screaming with pleasure. And in her euphoric state, she guides her partner back down there into her buried treasure.

“And when he leads, I gotta follow”

The movements. Like in dance. In partner dancing, there are those who lead and those who follow. They're designed roles to facilitate the movements. The one who leads manages the body of the one who follows and decides the dance steps and direction of travel from time to time.

The thing that makes me laugh about this part is the “when he leads”. “When” 🤣🤣🤣. Because she's the top and she's the one who leads most of the time because Laur's the bottom (even though they're both also switch) so when Lo leads, when, sometimes, occasionally, I gotta follow 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. Oh Mila 🤦🏻‍♀️🙈🤣.

“I’m blackin’ out, I’m on a spiral”

She feels out of control (spiral) because the ending is so beautiful that it almost makes her lose consciousness (blackin’ out).

“I need you now and tomorrow”

And forever.

I’d also like to add a deeper meaning of sex to I’m blackin’ out, I’m on a spiral – I need you now and tomorrow. Although she said the song is about sex, she also said:

“Part of that cocktail is also the emotional drama between you and that person, and the chaos and butterflies and nerves and passion. It’s unsustainable and not peaceful and exhausting, but also, I LUV IT.” – “Now I feel kind of lonely and small and weird, but at the same time, I’m an adult and I feel so strong in other areas of my life, but not this one. There’s just the wrestling of those feelings without it being kind of neat or in a box. You can’t really say that it’s a sad song, you can’t really pin it down. It’s just kind of me wrestling with these feelings and me kind of being really present on a particular feeling and exploring it. I feel like a lot of songs on the album are that”.

So going deeper, “I’m blackin’ out, I’m on a spiral” indicate her anxiety. Being on a spiral or simply spiraling, is an emotional state that rapidly worsens in a way that becomes increasingly difficult to control and often leads to short-term periods of anxiety or depression. Aka her OCD gets triggered. Which by the way, I remind you that for her leads to obsessions and repetitive thoughts. And in a certain way, we can also see it in the repetition of the same phrase in the chorus.

So here she's saying: 1) I’m blackin’ out, aka I'm going crazy, I'm freaking out (connection/thing that reminds me a lot of “Am I out of my head? Am I out of my mind?” Bad Things [analysis here (eleventh ask)]) 2) I’m on a spiral, aka I'm anxious, distressed, worried, fearful. Why? Because I don't wanna lose you aka 3): I need you now and tomorrow. This alludes to the desire for connection and intimacy that goes beyond sex.

Both meanings (sexual and deeper) however indicate the intensity of her uncontrollable and erratic emotions towards as she said “that person” Lauren. But she doesn't care. “It’s unsustainable and not peaceful and exhausting, but also, I…?” She…? She what? Sing it all together🎤🎵🎶👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼:

Chorus:

“I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, ooh

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it”

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7…...

27.   27……

27 times, huh? 😜 What a wonderful coincidence! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 of all the numbers, precisely the 27. Would you look at that 🤣🤣.

No seriously tho. The words have to fit and respect the tempo of the song, but coincidence or not it's still funny for me 🤭.

Post-Chorus 1:

“Lemons on the chain with the V-cuts (X2)

Lemons in their face, watch ’em freeze up (x2)”

This part was sampled from the song Lemonade by Gucci Mane. Lemons are basically yellow diamonds (known as Canary Diamonds) cut/engraved in the shape of the letter V (an expensive method of cutting diamonds).

The meaning behind that would be that people would “freeze up” in shock at seeing this display of wealth and success, these lemons/diamonds, “in their face”s. They're oh so surprised and intimidated that they even freeze up for this luxury lifestyle thrown in their faces.

Umm………. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Do we really care? Of that? Okay 🤣. About something she didn't even write? Something that she literally took copied and pasted into the song? Pfft, okay. Can we move on? Thank you 🤣.

Verse 2:

“Super twisted, sick addicted”

Twisted: someone who's mentally or emotionally unhealthy or disturbed: sick. -> Sick addicted: someone who's unable to stop doing something as a habit. Ergo, she's saying that she likes/enjoys it a lot and wants to spend as much time as possible doing what they're doing: sex.

Nonsexual meaning: She's using strong words to describe not only herself but also what their relationship is like. They may be twisted, and addicted, and toxic, and all the other things we've seen in their songs, but no matter what, she/they LUV IT, cause they luuuv each other.

“Kiss me hard, someday you’ll miss this”

A dig for all those times they break up or take breaks.

“Meteor shower, in your power”

What's a meteor shower?

The meteor shower is nothing other than what we commonly call shooting stars. These are obviously not stars, but meteors. Meteors are the aftermath of asteroids and comets that ORBITATED the SUN.

Asteroids (celestial bodies composed of rocky bodies) and comets (celestial bodies composed of frozen gases) become meteoroids when they fragment. In turn, meteoroids ignite and disintegrate when they enter our solar system, becoming meteors, ergo shooting stars. Those that don't disintegrate and manage to touch the earth's ground instead become meteorites.

How does a meteor shower happen?

The meteor shower happens when the earth, in its ORBIT around the SUN, crosses an area in which fragments of rock and dust (meteoroids) lost from a comet or an asteroid (celestial bodies made of rock, dust, and ice coming from the outermost areas of the solar system) are concentrated. When an asteroid and a comet heat up as they pass close to the sun, they reach such temperatures that they fragment even more (meteoroids) and when these very tiny fragments enter our atmosphere, they ignite and burn due to friction by generally developing tails, luminous trails (shooting stars) until they vaporize or leave debris (meteorites) behind.

Lil fun fact: some meteorites found on earth come from the MOON 🤭🤣. Most come from destroyed comets and asteroids, but some come from Mars or the moon.

So, after this compelling little science lesson, I can explain what Mila means by “Meteor shower, in your power”.

It's very simple actually. A meteor shower is a celestial event. She's comparing their sex to this astronomical phenomenon, the “Meteor shower”. The “in your power” is due to the fact that Lo’s the one who’s leading as we saw in “And when he leads, I gotta follow” in the first verse.

“Seein’ stars, oh my God”

The retina sends light signals to the brain by making sparks, stars, or flashes of light appear in the visual field. When does this happen? It usually has to do with the head. You've made a movement too fast, like standing up suddenly, or you've been hit on the head, or you're about to lose consciousness, etc. These are all negative aspects, but we're talking about something positive here. Sex.

This amazing sex (Meteor shower), this second round (Threw it back and she caught it), brings her to another orgasm (maybe even another Bottle rocket 🤷🏻‍♀️😏) during which she feels so bewildered, so dizzy, and she experiences this very surreal feeling that overwhelmed her by even Seein’ stars during it. Seein’ stars: to climax, to achieve orgasm.

This can very well be connected with ““I’m blackin’ out, I’m on a spiral” She feels out of control (spiral) because the ending is so beautiful that it almost makes her lose consciousness (blackin’ out)” that I explained earlier.

Oh and, the “oh my God” was her, um 🤣, comment, to express that ending if it wasn't already obvious enough 🤣.

Bridge:

“Slow down, baby”

All of Playboi Carti's “Uh, uh, uh, uh” before Mila's “Slow down, baby”, at least to me, indicate the thrust of the act. Again, he “sings” them to prove the song is straight 🙄, but we know the truth. Anyway. The “Slow down, baby” means exactly that. Either Mila's settling down from the end of round two and needs a tiny bit more time to go as fast as they were going before, or she simply wants this third round to go at a slower pace than the previous one, or better yet, Slow down, baby like in ‘stop, it's my turn now’ (to lead).

Another proof that this doesn't talk about sex with a guy. As I said before, it's rare for guys to get beyond 2 rounds, so let alone a third one 🤣. Sorry, not sorry, but it's literally the truth 🤣.

And that's it. I luv the fact that Camila's lyrics in this song talk about sex but she uses words that still perfectly capture the magnetic attraction between the two of them. I luv how she's quite unapologetic about it. And I LUUUV how she also used these cosmic references in general, but above all, how they anyway hide in a certain way the two important celestial bodies in our sky and solar system: their representation, aka the moon and the sun.

Now let's move on to the music video where everything that could go wrong happens 👍🏼🤣. What is she trying to convey here? Let's find out.

Music video

Opening scene. A Robin Hood wannabe who takes coins from his pocket.

Three empty stationary police cars in a driveway while an aspiring lumberjack cop is, for what initially appears to be, cutting down a tree to prepare for winter.

KhaleesiMila enters the scene 5 seconds before she starts singing. She looks like she just came back home from the night before given her outfit and her slightly messy hair. But not her makeup. The makeup is perfect of course because it's still a music video 😉.

She enters the kitchen with a chocolate cake in one hand while with the other she nonchalantly tosses her heels in a spot where it's very usual for us girls to leave them 🤣: at the doorway or in the bedroom on the kitchen counter. She starts singing and eating a piece of chocolate cake at the same time.

At the same moment as the first bite of the cake, we have a really well-done perfect transition of her spitting her mouthguard out in a somewhat snobbish but challenging and provocative way because she's ready to fight against a professional female wrestler.

Soon after we have a 3-second split shot of her chewing the cake in the kitchen again and her and Carti in the gas station, before cutting to a long one where we have the reappearance of the archer from the opening scene.

From this moment on, all the small shots, the little introductions that we initially had, are explained a little bit more extensively with longer scenes and shots. Still messy 🤣, but longer.

Hospital part 1

Now that we see the surroundings, we notice how Legolas wannabe is in the corridor of a hospital and that the coins he took from his pocket in the opening scene, he needed them to get something like a chocolate bar from the vending machine. After taking it, he walks back to a white-dressed Mila who's sitting with an arrow in her heart.

A flash passed before my eyes and for a moment I was back in 2019. Why? Liar. The cover art picture of the song portrays her as an angel with wings. Camila explained that Cupid strikes her with his bow to make her fall from heaven and unmask her, by making her not so angelic anymore because she's actually a liar who's hiding something, that is a secret [hmm, I wonder which one 😏😎🤫🤐🤣]. This whole story created for the song inspired the visual for the entire album Romance (whole album inspired by the surrealism of a museum of love stories in heaven).

So I asked myself, what is this? A connection to Romance but direct to Liar? No. I'd say more that she paid homage to it since even though the lyrics are about sex, the ideology of the video is about their toxic relationship and how she knows it's toxic but she LUVs IT anyway.

Anyhow, I guess that at the arrow in the heart scene, you all thought that the Green Arrow wannabe was Cupid. Same thing here, mostly because of the connection with Liar. I initially thought: “Oooh, it's Cupid! Cupid shot her with his arrow, ergo she's in love. But she's lovesick, and because of this the hospital: love - sick”. Then I saw the whole scene (plus the ending which I'll explain, well, at the end 🤣) and I realized: “Nope. Not Cupid. Not Cupid at all. Hi, Lauren 👋🏼”.

***Let's be clear. This is a music video. A creative and imaginative way of portraying objects, people, and scenarios in general. Yes, it's Camila's POV, but Lauren isn't that bitchy and dickish in real life. Okay? Every artist does it. It's art. Literally, as the word implies.***

So, back to the scene. Rewind. Lauren Hawkeye wannabe takes the candy bar from the vending machine and goes back to Mila. *This is the point where I got to before.* He doesn't even look at her. He just sits. Contrary to her who follows him with her gaze as he sits down and she also turns her head to look at him one more time before looking straight ahead.

That chocolate bar or whatever the fuck it is, it's not even for her. He took it for himself without even having the thought of taking it for her or taking something for her as well. I mean he's like, he's there for her. He went with her and he accompanied her also because he hit her with an arrow. Like yeah, we know that. We can see that. But even though he's there for her, he at the same time doesn't acknowledge or address her at all. He's just there. Present and not. Waiting for her turn.

While she, even smiles with her mouth closed as he's returning to her, but it's a smile I'd say forced. A kind of smile that masks how uncomfortable she feels. It's a wan smile that shows no energy or enthusiasm. It's a stoical ‘grin-and-bear-it because you're used to it after all’ kind of expression. That smile alone makes you understand how ‘normal’ this situation is for her. She's so used to it that it's a standard routine for her. It doesn't come as a surprise.

In a situation like this one, in a hospital, with an arrow in the chest/heart, anger or pain or both reactions are what you expect to be shown by her. But no. She's just there. Waiting for her turn.

Meaning behind this? The arrow in the heart represents a metaphorical way to express the idea that love can be both powerful and overwhelming, capable of causing joy and pain in equal measure. In this case however, the arrow in the heart doesn't represent a tender sweet and romantic symbol of Cupid and Valentine's Day. It represents a heart-piercing emotional pain. In this case, that arrow is nothing more than a heart-stopping arrow through the heart.

Fight & Dogs

In the next scene we have the professional female wrestler again. Like when she spat her mouthguard out in the opening brief shot, Mila continues to have this defiant attitude *she’s so hot there btw 🤤🥵*. She shows herself as very self-confident with this superior aura and this cockiness that gives off an ‘I can kick your ass’ vibe. All of this flies out the window the moment the wrestler makes her move against her and Mila shits in her pants and starts running away 🤣.

At the same time that she starts running, we have another perfect transition of a running dog. Then we have another very brief shot of her continuing to eat the cake in the kitchen, before alternating the fight with the wrestler and not just one dog running randomly, but her being chased by no less than three dogs 🤣.

These two scenes are connected on the part of running for your life. Literally as far as the dogs are concerned 🤣. And speaking of the dogs, the scene represents the danger and risks of being in love with someone. It represents all the feelings of chaos that go along with it. It represents feeling afraid and helpless with a constant internal battle of anxiety and fear. Being chased by dogs is stressful, scary, and unpleasant, BUT, it's even adrenaline-pumping and the depiction of it, is basically like an excited nightmare that represents not knowing where things are leading. Running into the unknown. She's scared but she does it anyway because the journey is electrifying.

Going back and talking about the scene with the wrestler, the running scared to avoid the actual physical fight is the representation of avoiding the confrontation. And that's something we know Mila does thanks to both her and Lauren. We also know this because in 2016 she herself said that she avoids conflicts with people. It's a vice/bad habit that she's always had.

BUT, no matter how much she tries to run away and avoid this confrontation, it always happens. Sooner or later, she eventually always finds herself having to face the problem unwillingly or not. The representation of this in the video is when she's captured. We actually see this section almost at the end of the video after Carti’s “🎵tursin-eh-oh-and-halloh-eh-halloh-eh-halloh-I'm out o-controool🎵” 🤣🤣🤣. We see the wrestler chasing and catching Mila, which leads to the headlock wrestling move.

Now let's talk about this section with the headlock that we see both at the end and currently in the first chorus of the part of the video where we are. Specifically this one here. We see several headlocks in sequence, but the one I want to focus on is the second one, where the wrestler is enacting the chokehold with only one arm.

*HA! GAAAAAAAAY! meme*

Like, umm… 🤭 The way you caress her arm and look at her, and the way you sing “I luv it” with your tongue sticking out in that seductive way 🔥 I mean... Mila, honey…😏 I see you! 🤣

No wonder in the BTS of the video she said: “I've been the most excited for this scene all day”. Hmm 🤔, I wonder why is that 🤣🤣🤣. Just as I'm not surprised by the other clue she gave in the interview with Bru On The Radio when talking about the scene: “It's like a little homoerotic. It's cool! But um- * she bursts out laughing by looking to the side* -yeah”.

Homoerotic: 1) (especially of art, literature, drama, or the like) using symbolism, allusions, situations, etc., that invoke sexual attraction or activity between people of the same gender. Example: There's definitely some homoerotic subtext in that book. 2) having sexual attraction to people of one's own sex or gender, especially when that attraction is repressed. Example: To say a man has a “streak of lavender” means that he has homoerotic desires. 3) relating or involving sexual activity between people of the same sex. Specifically: marked by, revealing, or portraying sexual desire between people of the same sex.

I have nothing else to add, Your Honor. I have nothing else to add 😎🤣.

No but seriously now. She doesn't act that way during the other headlocks. In those, she tries to fight back and somehow defend herself by trying to free herself. We see her react in a rather normal way to that type of situation. But in that particular hold? Nope 🤣. We can see how much she likes it. How attracted and aroused she is. The reactions she has during the other headlocks represent her external side, what really happens and what she lets see. While in that particular one, we see the toxicity of what happens in her inner part. The “I luv it” to the choking which on a larger scale, represents her toxicity in loving the pain. Even though they're fighting and she hates the confrontation and is in pain, she LUVs IT anyway because she luvs HER.

***Mind you that this is only an additional representation and seen in a more generic way. I don't see it as fitting to the theme of the music video as much as the one I've already explained to you now.*** A broader meaning could also be the representation of how the love for Lauren is so strong that she can't fight it. We've seen this other times in the lyrics of songs like This Love [analysis here (the penultimate ask)] and Señorita [analysis here (the last ask)] where Mila was having an inner struggle because, on the one hand, she wanted to protect her feelings, and on the other, she couldn't resist her. Ergo, the scene where she tries to fight this love, the professional wrestler, but she loses and thus is ultimately defeated.

House

Next scene we have her continuing to eat the chocolate cake plus this guy who comes in and rides around her house on his motorcycle and she does nothing.

Let's dwell for a moment on her eating.

Where have we seen something like this before (besides the reality of everyday life)? In every damn movie and TV show since forever 🤣. Someone is sad for some X reason like they had a fight with someone, or they're going through a breakup, and what do they do? They eat either something chocolate or ice cream. 90% of the time it's something chocolate related. Why? Because when consumed, it releases endorphins in the brain that produce a mild feeling of euphoria by mimicking the feeling of being in love. This is why chocolate is called the love drug. It gives comfort and joy and when we're down, we emotionally crave chocolate because we're unsatisfied with something.

Her eating chocolate cake in this case is an indication of unsatisfied desires and emotional needs.

Now let's go back to the guy with the motorcycle. He's destroying everything in his path and she's simply there, munching on her cake unbothered. He's causing a mess but she doesn't even try to stop him. She doesn't get angry, she doesn't scream, nothing. And why? Because as I said before by talking about that type of smile in the hospital, this situation is ‘normal’ for her. She doesn't react simply because she's used to it. The chaos of their relationship doesn't surprise her also because, I mean, it's been years and years.

The house depicts her head and what happens in it. Him destroying the house is a representation of how she sees his bringing chaos into her life and their relationship. On a deeper level, her not reacting to the destruction of the house represents the fact that she's so in love that she ignores bad and toxic behaviors. The whole scene represents the toxicity and destruction that a relationship can bring into your life but you keep trying because you LUV IT. Lauren brings love, happiness, passion, euphoria, but she also brings chaos which also encompasses mess, confusion, disarray, whether all good or bad. We also saw this type of example in the lyrics of Consequences [analysis here (penultimate ask)].

Successively we have a mix of scenes, among which are the cop one of the opening scene, the car one, and the bathroom one.

Palm tree

We can finally see that this aspiring lumberjack cop is chopping this palm tree because Camila is on top of it.

Now, I have two interpretations for this. The palm tree represents Lauren/their toxic love in both interpretations.

N° 1, she's stuck on the tree. Being stuck represents her way of saying that there's no way out of their toxic relationship even though someone (represented by the cop) or more than someone (since there are 3 police cars even though we only see one cop) tries to get her out of this situation.

N° 2, the one I see as the most truthful, the most right one. She's not stuck on the tree. Mila is Walzing it 🤣🤣🤣 (for those who don't know, Dinah used to call Mila ‘Walz’ and here you can find the reason why the nickname was born). Her koalaing the tree also represents her co-dependence. She's clinging to it and doesn't want to let go.

She's on the very high point of the tree; visual meaning: danger. If she were to fall, she would die or be seriously injured. But she doesn't care. She's ready to risk her life. Deeper for the representation: her love is so strong, that she's ready to risk it (“I'll risk it all”, as we've already seen in Used to This [part of the interpretation that you can find in the analysis of Only Told the Moon here]). She's ready to risk everything/risk it all even if she were to lose her heart and if it were to affect even her mental and physical health as we've already seen in the lyrics of Consequences.

Even in this case, the cop represents someone or more than someone in her life who tries to get her out of this situation. They use extreme ways to do this, representative of getting her down: cutting down the tree. Why? Why doesn't this cop who clearly knows that this person is experiencing some kind of problem call the fire truck to bring a ladder to save her since that's what's normally done in these situations? Or he doesn't go directly and find one himself? Why doesn't he talk to her and try to reason with her to get her down?

Because it's not the first time this has happened. The cop (her family, her friends) is so used to and tired of seeing their on-again, off-again/cycle/loop/circle, that he decides to help her in a more brutal way in this case. Representation: chopping down the tree. It doesn't matter tho. It doesn't matter that other people try to help her in hard ways. She doesn't wanna lose her, and therefore she depicts how even though she knows it's a toxic relationship, she's clinging (codependent) to it and continues to love her because she doesn't want to depart/separate herself no matter what. Reason why we even see her singing “I luv it” while she’s glued to the tree.

Car

Speaking of falling (and how these two scenes are connected). Instead of that tree, here we see her having fallen over a car. Part of the car is destroyed, as is she. It's a representation of being in love and how it can sometimes destroy you. But again, we even see her singing “I luv it” because she doesn't care. She doesn't care about falling and being crushed by/for her. They've taken a lot of risks over the years. They've suffered, they've hurt each other, and they've fallen down and gotten up every single time. And those wounds, in the video are represented as real wounds with cuts, bruises, gashes, and all that jazz.

She doesn't even care when we, the public and the fans, see her destroyed like that. We've seen it many times, especially after years and years spent growing up in the public eye. By this, I'm obviously referring to the woman who's immortalizing the scene with her phone. Although that, it's also a representation of what would actually happen in today's world: instead of helping or calling an ambulance, the woman is filming or taking pics.

Bathroom & Bedroom

Contrary to the connection that the tree and the car scenes have, this one is connected to the ones of the dogs and the professional female wrestler.

We first see her in the bathroom. She looks in the mirror and even lifts her shirt up to look at her belly. Let's say normal things that we all do, and so far, nothing strange. Then we also see her perplexed and undecided tho (when she sighs with her finger in her mouth). And we see her rehearsing. We see her change her expression to a determined one and make the gun gesture with the fingers of her hand.

***Sorry but I have to tell you guys 🤣🤣🤣. I found it extremely funny how she made the gun gesture with her fingers precisely at “someday you’ll miss this”. THIS and bam: fingers out 😏😎🤣. I'm sorry, I'm sorry 🤣🤣 one day she'll miss, what, Mila? Your gay fingers?🤣🤣🤣 Oooooookay 😉🤣***

Back to normal. All that represents her mentally preparing herself, and for what? For what we then see in the bedroom. Before heading there, we can see her expression of determination but more importantly, we can see her pissed-off expression.

She walks into the bedroom with this imaginary automatic machine gun that she uses to shoot and destroy the bed. As she does that, the footage also shows us the rest of the room, and what do I spy with my little eye 🧐? A frame hanging on the wall. And what's in that frame? Five boys with the word ‘sorry’ written on their backs. Wait a second, wait a second… FIVE???? 😲 Five as a reference to Fifth Harmony? 😱 Five as in 5H because it's a hidden clue to confirm that she's talking about Lauren? 🤯 WHAAAAAT??? 😵

Yes, guys, yes. For those who haven't noticed, the answer is yes. Camila doesn't do things shittily. There's always meaning in the things she does, whether it's hidden or not. And if anyone tries to tell you otherwise or something different about that clue, don't be fooled. Why 5? Explain the 5 otherwise? They could've used a thousand different things like, for example, an apology/sorry note left on the bedside table, or even just one guy with sorry on his back in that frame since all of this is supposed to be straight and about a guy 🙄. But no. They used FIVE of them specifically.

Moving on.

The rehearsals she was doing in the bathroom that we later saw lead to the destruction of the bed with the imaginary automatic machine gun, were all due to Mila being pissed off about something Laur had done. Something we know thanks to the not-so-hidden apology message in the frame. Now I don't know about you 🎤🎶but I'm feeling 22 🎶🎤 sorry but I had to 🤣 but I know that even though Camila is magical, she doesn't really have powers 🤣. So even though this is the representation of her being pissed at Lo, she didn't actually shoot the bed. It was all in her head. She was just imagining doing it. Yeah, she was angry, but we also know that she'd run away in reality to try to avoid conflicts as we saw in the scene with the dogs and in the scene with the wrestler (aka Laur herself), during which, however, we also saw that the wrestler captures her and that therefore Mila was then forced to face.

Hospital part 2

During the mix of these three scenes (Palm Tree - Car - Bathroom & Bedroom) just discussed, we have two small shots of Mila in the hospital. The first during “oh my God” and the second during “I luv it”.

We see her looking in one direction before saying “oh my God”. It's an exasperated “oh my God” because no one's assisting her yet.

She sings “I luv it” by tapping her finger to her temple in rhythm but we can see how impatient she's starting to get for the wait. Yeah, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, but she's irritated and frustrated.

Gas station

Mila and her friends pull over into this gas station. A guy with long hair immediately approaches to serve them, but instead of refueling the car as we normally expected, he does it to them. He takes the pump and fills their glasses with gasoline, even though we know very well that it was actually nothing more than “some disgusting water-down apple juice”, according to Mila herself.

All this during “Lemons on the chain with the V-cuts (X4) - Lemons in their face, watch ’em freeze up (x4)” Oh well, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade Camila Cabello drinks gasoline 🤣. Sorry, sorry 🤣. Joking aside now.

Drinking alcohol produces euphoria. It's stimulating, exciting, and lowers inhibitions and control. It's intoxicating, and although this word usually indicates something positive, it can also represent something negative especially when associated with alcohol. Drinking alcohol is intoxicating in a good way, but if done too much, it's intoxicating in a harmful way. In this case, alcohol is the representation of another hyperbolic metaphor. It's yet another concept represented in an exaggerated way. Gasoline, fuel, or whatever the hell it was, is obviously toxic. Ingesting it is dangerous. It's yet another representation of their toxic relationship and tendencies and how she doesn't care going against all common sense because she LUVs IT.

There would also be another possible meaning behind this scene due to Playboi Carti's verse. He talks about drugs (Novocaine and Mary Jane), luxury cars (Lamborghini Aventador SVJ), and rebellious life in general.

Novocaine is a drug used as a local anesthetic normally by dentists. Mary Jane is the literal English translation of the name Marijuana. Spanish: Maria/Mari. English translation: Mary. Spanish: Juana. English translation: Jane. Ergo, Marijuana: Mary Jane. In the past when drug users talked about marijuana, they called it Mary Jane so as not to arouse police suspicion.

I explained all this because specifically his talk about drugs made me think of a different possible meaning behind this scene. You see in the US, many drug dealers operate out of gas stations. Mila and her friends are getting gas at the gas station. In slang, ‘gas’ is a noun made popular by rappers to refer to weed/marijuana.

It might be that the scene has both meanings. Alcohol for her and drugs for him. Who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️. Maybe we would've seen it for real if Carti hadn't arrived late for the video shoot. But anyway.

Right after that, we have the dance scene. I have two interpretations for that even here. Both true.

The first one: Don't expect me to say sweet and predictable things like that she's dancing hypnotized because she's drunk on love 🤣. Nope. The blindfold is supposed to represent how blinded she is by love and shit, right? The typical phrase ‘love is blind’ that makes someone unable to see the flaws of the person they love. True, but at the same time in her case, bullshit tho. Buuuullshit! Because we saw throughout the video how she's aware of everything.

She chose to put the blindfold on and dance freely whether it's just for fun or distraction or to literally dance the pain away. She chose to put it on to ‘not see’ the flaws, the toxicity, and all the negative things. She knows. She knows they're there. It's just her choice to ignore them because, once again, she doesn't care because she luvs it and her.

The second one: Based on the getting gas in the previous shot, whether it's just alcohol or whether it's also marijuana, that's why right after that scene we see Carti with his hoodie backwards before he starts singing and Mila and the girls dancing together blindfolded with X’s over their eyes. It represents the beginning of the effect. 😵: literally the dizziness of drunkenness and/or stonedness. In a deeper way, it represents love being a drug/addiction to live to the fullest (dancing).

Again whether it's just alcohol or weed, that's also the reason why at the end of the video they're both comfortable and relaxed in eating calmly as if they don't have a care in the world (despite the video being completely the opposite). Both alcohol and weed increase hunger and appetite, sometimes leading to strange and uncontrollable cravings. That represents half to almost the end of the effect.

Hospital part 3

She's still waiting. She's still waiting for someone to help her remove that fucking arrow from her chest. The whole reason she's been there waiting for probably hours. Nurses even walk past in front of her but still no one assists her. As before, she's still annoyed, but now she's also discouraged and sad. Not only that, but the male version of a Katniss Everdeen wannabe is also gone. Representation of a breakup or one of their breaks. Mila's alone, and suddenly, the wound begins to bleed.

In this case, the arrow through her heart symbolizes feeling emotionally hurt. Since loving someone is not always a walk in dreamland, but it also consists of twists and turns and can really fucking hurt you, here we see how her heart starts dripping blood. The bleeding can also represent how toxic relationships leave you in the end. Again, love is pain but she LUVs IT.

Thing more important, the wound begins to bleed because she's no longer with her. It didn't do it the entire time Laur was with her, but her heart started to bleed in pain only after she left. Representation of how her heart, although already wounded (arrow) by her/for her, cannot bear to be without her (bleeding). As I also explained in my This Love’s interpretation, the choice over the years has often been between having her and suffering, or not having her at all, and as we know, she always chose her.

The end

So, that was the music video. It gave me Miami and Florida. It gave me GTA and crack house feelings 🤣. It gave me wildness and adrenaline. It gave me roller coaster. It gave me college students traveling for the holidays/Spring Breakers movie. *For those who don't know what I'm talking about 👇🏼*

Especially here https://www.instagram.com/reel/C59su9PJ7f2/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== with this promo.

*Last minute edit: she just said Spring Breakers is one of the inspired aesthetics for the new era*

She in specific, gave me addicted to pain. She gave me impulsiveness. She gave me a fast-paced lifestyle, full of passion, desire, and disregard for consequences. She gave me vibe. She gave me boujee. She gave me dance. She gave me actress and humor as has also happened in other videos in the past (although less than those ones) such as for example Havana, Liar, My Oh My, Bam Bam, Don’t Go Yet, etc. (it's not the first time Camila's been in ridiculous situations in her videos). She gave me chaos begets chaos, and in order to maintain sanity, one must embrace the insanity. Or in her case, a palm tree 🤣🤣🤣.

I mean, all in all and in its complexity, I really enjoyed it. She said the theme of the video is chaos and danger, and we saw that. In the interview with Bru On The Radio, still talking about the video, she said: “This complex feeling of loving the pain of something, or loving the messiness of something, or loving the chaos of something, really kind of like finding the beauty in that part of our humanity”. And we saw that too.

And as if it wasn't clear enough already, the video is an artistic representation of the toxic tendencies and behaviors of their toxic relationship in general throughout all these years. And yes, their as in both of them, not just her as in Lauren's. I told you guys in the beginning that it's Camila's POV and I explained that Lauren isn't that bitchy and dickish in real life, but we don't just see Laur's toxic tendencies and behaviors from Mila's POV in the video. We actually see Mila's a lot more. Let me explain.

We saw how Laur brings chaos into Mila's life and their relationship (house scene). She's hurt her (shot her with an arrow through the heart), she doesn't acknowledge her in the hospital, and she also leaves at the end. The leaving her there (breakup or break) in those conditions as well as not taking something for her too from the vending machine is a neglect; another trait of a toxic relationship. That's all. That's what we see as far as Lauren is concerned. Mila on the other hand…

She's the one who's unbothered, especially in the beginning, in having an arrow in her heart, aka being hurt. She's the one who doesn't react when Lo destroys the house, aka when Laur has toxic behavior towards her. Still her the one who runs away from her problems so as not to face them and avoids conflicts (dogs and wrestler). In fact, if that's why, I wanna put in a good word for Laur in this case since she fights her by forcing her to confront her, aka talk about their problems. Still Mila the one who uses an imaginary automatic machine gun to shoot and destroy the bed symbolically in her head just because she’s angry with her. She's the one who crashes herself on top of a car and risks her life on other occasions with the dogs, the palm tree, and by drinking gasoline. I mean, see what I mean?

Who's the most toxic one we see here? And again, this is just a video. Not the reality. I feel like I always have to specify these things with you guys because one never knows you misinterpreted it 🤣. But anyway. I'm happy Mila did it. I'm happy that Mila represented even her toxicity since for many years due to her songs people only and always blamed Lauren. It's something I've been saying for years 💁🏻‍♀️. They both have their faults. There are two people in the couple and there are always two sides to a story. Not just one.

In any case, that's it, dear Anon. I hope you enjoyed both analysis 🙃.

🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍

Aaand I'm done 👅. Thank you all for your asks and I hope I've been helpful this time too 🙃. As usual, I'm always available for those who have questions, so ask away 😄.

Remember to be nice. Always. Both with others and with yourselves. Be a good example. Be patient. Be safe and take care of yourselves. Don't let our ship sink. Keep shipping them, but please respectfully 🙏🏼. Sending you virtual love and hugs 🤗🤗🤗. I love you, babies. Always with love, F ❤️.