#I have no control over this whatsoever
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Actually I don’t go out looking for inspiration for my story. Inspiration just randomly hits me in the face at all times whenever I look at something that I think is even remotely cool. Hope this helps.
#is this a talent or something?#like I can’t remember ever actively for a fact for my story/ worldbuilding I just… come up with it#like randomly#what happens happens what can I say#I can get inspired when I open the fridge and see an apple#I have no control over this whatsoever#getting ideas for worldbuilding on purpose? I don’t know her#my brain is empty if I actively start to think about my story 90% of the time I just have to let inspiration run me over at random moments#just to be clear I don’t steal ideas of anything I just see something and suddenly have a new slightly related yet completely different idea#writer speaks#writeblr
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
violently forcing myself to have better days
#everyone’s different and this isn’t true for everybody of course:#but a lot of the time we have more control over things than we can see in a difficult moment#like for example#a negative thought is inevitable and not something you can just stop. however you CAN decide from there how you let it effect you#it’s way easier said than done but you genuinely can be like hey I’m going to have a good day today#I like to set my intentions for the day and not allow my trauma nightmares to dictate how my whole day goes#but in order to do that I have to consciously decide that I deserve better and then create that for myself#does this make sense?#do things you know you enjoy/ things that make you feel better. take care of yourself. create little healthy routines to do each day#even if it’s just for 5 or 10 minutes#you have to act to make a genuine positive change in your life and circumstances#tried to say this as well as I could but I struggle w articulating exactly what I mean#like my thoughts are too complex to translate into words#anyways though I just wanted to add this- this post is not to make anybody feel bad whatsoever.#if you struggle with certain disorders and such it genuinely might be close to impossible for you to actually be able to have that control#and that’s okay. it doesn’t make you any less of a person and it is not your fault that you experience those difficulties#I just wanted to remind people that it is possible to control certain aspects of your life and it is possible to snap yourself out of it#I know I need to remember this as often as I can#that’s why I shared it#I hope this makes sense I do not know if it does lmao#(the tags)#my thoughts are so jumbled up. idk what other word to use lmao
38 notes
·
View notes
Note
thank you for being so positive throughout this whole saga (not me acting like it’s over lmao)💖 this was the first race I’ve actually been super anxious about but everything worked out. I will be back when [redacted]. but anyway you’ve been the best vibes💖💖
honestly no matter what happens (it's probably already happened ;) this is thee best way to enter summer break. glad to know i was able to be a source of positivity for you!!
#*tmi but*#bc of insane parenting on my parents' part i used to rarely have faith in things (which don't worry it makes me really good at things) (but#it sucked) and liking daniel is me trying every step of the way to put faith into something i have zero control over whatsoever#and it has been so challenging but so healing#and now no matter what's next i've literally learned to have faith in things throughout all of this#something i worked on with like 5 therapists but never took. this has been so worth it he's so worth it 💖#asks#*#💛💛💛
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
more old backlogged capitaru.
#capitaru#capitano#tartaglia#childe tartaglia ajax#childe genshin#at some point in the near future there will be a shitty doujin of them for sale#i was wanting to release it for free since i don't like the art at this point but i have no choice but to sell it#if i seem angry i am. i got fucking laid off out of nowhere#with 0 warning whatsoever#so i am furious.#right when i was getting my health issues under control with stable health insurance.#i get fucked over
50 notes
·
View notes
Text
New pf pic 🫡 don’t forget about me
197 notes
·
View notes
Note
we all know how bubba is when he's horny, but I was thinking, how yall think nubbins would act?
I personally think he'd be drooling and shaking like a feral animal trying to control himself
#notsafe#confession#Nubbins Sawyer#The Hitchhiker#The Texas Chainsaw Massacre#Texas Chainsaw Massacre#tcm#tcm 1974#slashers#slasher fucker#Oh yeah he definitely seems the type that once riled up he has a VERY hard time and drools and gnashes his teeth in anticipation 🤤#In terms of his body he's very twitchy/stilted but I imagine he will most certainly be vibrating with want if nothing else#So yeah. I agree. And I think he'd have NO control over his facial expressions. None whatsoever#And when when he's given the go-ahead he'll just go absolutely insane 🌪️
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
my brain is perhaps more broken that it has ever been . I accomplish like 0.75 tasks every day. I send one email . I replace the bin bags but don't take the bins out . I half load the dishwasher . I send one email
#committed very hard to not letting *** ******* ruin my life#but turns out actually i have no control over that whatsoever#just stuck in an insane anxiety spiral where being alive is terrifying and experiencing any emotion or sensation#or having any thoughts at all is just . paralysing
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
my body alert me to having an entirely full bladder with more than 30s warning challenge (impossible)
#it! is! so! annoying! just! be! normal! *screams*#genuinely i did piss myself as a kid a LOT until i was like. 10. no lie.#bc i would not know - at all! no inclination whatsoever! if i went anyway nothing would come out! - i needed to pee#until we hit 'you are going to piss yourself immediately'#just 0 to 100 in 0.35 seconds#and i did not have the control or muscle strength or whatever to not just. piss myself if i wasnt in immediate reach of a bathroom#i went though two. years. of 'bladder retraining' therapy#which is MEANT to retune you into signals or whatever so you know you need to pee with a fucking resonable amount of warning#spoiler: it did not do this#it did not improve the signalling at all whatsoever#what it DID do was develop the necessary strength and control to become doubled over with sudden OH GOD RIGHT NOW pee pain#BUT be able to hold it off for 5-10 min if necessary#which to the adults around me was a success bc it looked like i knew how to pee properly now#i don't. i just know how to NOT pee MYSELF and make it embarrassing. difference.#look man i'm 33 presumably there will literally never be a point in my life where i will know 'oh i kinda need to pee' an hour before#i will always be playing Highway To The Danger Zone every day forever#i just live like this#CHRIST it's so FUCKING annoying though#i mean this applies to all functions i have no internal signalling for anything until it is Super Right Now Urgent#my body notify me of anything at all ever challenge (impossible)#god if this aint the most annoying one though
50 notes
·
View notes
Text
ok executive dysfunction is kind of ruining my life actually
#i have an incredibly time-consuming project i NEED to finish and i genuinely don’t know if i can#i’ve started which is good but i’m horrifically behind where i need to be and i’m just so overwhelmed#i technically have enough time to finish it i think? but it’s my final project so i literally cannot miss this deadline#my professor is really cool + likes me but it’s already been so long w/out me bringing it up#and wtf am i supposed to say? yeah. i WANTED to work on it. i just chose not to????? like wtf#it’s just so humiliating and i’m so behind i don’t know wtf i’m gonna do#it’s worse bc it’s an animation and it’s gg related and i really really wanted this to be good and i wanted things to be different this time#kind of funny bc i’m actually mid getting an adhd diagnosis rn but it’s just so fucking awful because i do this constantly#it fucking sucks so much i feel so helpless and i don’t know wtf is wrong with me. i’m so tired of letting everyone down constantly#it’s so bad rn i literally cannot do anything. it’s humiliating like WHY can’t i just be a functional normal person#it fucking SUCKS because i KNOW if i had any self control or work ethic whatsoever i could be really fucking successful but i don’t.#so i won’t be i guess.#and i KNOW it’s tied into a bunch of different stuff too but like gd i DO NOT care i just want to be functional#worst case scenario i have an A in the class so if i completely blow it i’ll at least pass? hopefully?#i might be able to talk my prof into an extended deadline but it’s so embarrassing bc i didn’t need one in the first place.#i have literally no excuses#it just makes me so upset because i just keep doing this over and over and i don’t know how to stop it or how to get better#and LOL sorry for posting this here i just feel weird talking to anyone personally about this (+ currently avoiding responding to messages!)#it’s just like. man if i can’t get a fucking grip i will literally waste my entire life. Oh Well! LOL
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
will get to all your lovely replies asap but for now let me get down the mood with my usual
fuck but i really do hate this month and everything it represents or better the fact that each single year it gets just more miserable
#i’m sorry fuck i wish i liked christmas i do#but i haven’t felt anything close to enjoyment of the period since what was it right ten exact years#every single fucking one of them it just got MORE fucking depressing#we dont talk about covid times because god i wish i could delete them from my existence#two years ago it was just depressing af#last year for a miracle it was halfway okay and hey managed to spend one with the grandmother for once#except she died three months later and this one it will be….. meh but the rest of the month has been a total nervewreck already#but of course EVERYWHERE around you is like JOYOUS TIME EVERYONE IS HAPPY SEASON OF MAGIC#as it is i’mma have to do half of the presents in january ffs#ah right forgot today was the anniversary of the other grandmother dying#and the entire first week is anniversary of 2020 nervous wreck of doom so hey that’s all fine#yeah that happened no i had no plans to mention it good luck to me wanting to move over that specific instance ig#i just wanna stop feeling stuck in being miserable until december 26th arrives and i can hope to get my shit under control the year after#yeah sorry for the pity party i’m just not feeling great whatsoever add feeling totally useless to the list and here we are#i’mma just go catch up on replies now just god now i feel like crap bc the moment i opened the app i just vomited out negativity g r e a t#personal for ts#janie rants
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
i think that like… the host by bong joon ho should be required reading (watching) for dungeon meshi fans. not out of a disrespect for dunmeshi lovers bc it really is so so good i just think that if you liked dunmeshi the host is something with like similarly important themes of eating and being hungry and survival. i am not a guy who watches movies often so maybe this sounds a little hollow but like the host by bong joon ho is like. one of the best films ever maybe. unparalleled
#if you read dungeon meshi you also likely will not find the gore and monster and all too big a hurdle to clear as well#not that it’s even really a monster in the classic way. i think about that thing so often it’s so interesting and it’s a beautiful creature#horrific sure but well. beautiful nonetheless. in the way nature is horrifying yet beautiful at times#and i think it is really wonderful how the creature is given dignity. you know? the creature is not the actual monster of the film. it sl#simply a byproduct of cruelty and a disregard for any life whatsoever including humans by the american military.#the creature has as much right to live as everyone else. the creature is simply hungry. but so is everyone else and so too does everyone#else have the right to live. and so the creature dies. as it must. but it was never so different from anything else#it is not the fault of the creature that it was born and it is not the fault of the creature that it is used as a way for the us government#to meddle in the affairs of another country and exert control over it. the creature simply lives a#and the creature simply dies.#god what a good movie. i love you gwoemul#also the creature is not actually that large a part of the movie like i think there is far more analysis to be done of the situation#surrounding the creature than there is analysis of the creature itself. but i think about the creature the most often. and what it#represents and again the dignity they give it. it is something other monster movies simply do not allow their beasts.
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
i hate people in power who scheme and manipulate and use vulnerable families looking for safety for their own fucking ends
and i can rage and scream and cry, and rant to you guys all i want and it doesnt matter. far more important people can make works of art to convey complicated and nuanced ideas and none of it is going to matter. the world is always complicated and difficult decisions do have to be made but on god we should never, ever forget to have basic fucking compassion
#ignore this#its related to something but i dont want to talk about it#i just have to vent it somewhere#fuck this and fuck everything. im sick of caring so so deeply about things i have no control over whatsoever#they really do have it way easier with their fucking black and white right and wrong perception of the world
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Closed starter for @libraryofdesire based loosely off of this and #6 in this
The job was to remove her from the picture. A simple enough task, really; kill the girl and get paid. What she'd done to deserve that fate, he didn't know - and he didn't really care. Whether she'd stumbled onto something she shouldn't have, had slept with the wrong guy or whatever else might motivate someone to put out a hit on her, it was inconsequential. What wasn't though, was the fact that she looked downright edible in her little nightgown, fast asleep with her duvet tugged between her legs. So he'd decided not to kill her... for now.
Instead, Luke had drugged the poor girl in her sleep, methodically extracting her form her life and into his little corner of hell. She'd wake up in a cage. Tall enough for her to stand, wide enough for her to even walk a few paces. She was on a cot against one side of the cage, wearing only the slip she'd worn to bed the night before. Above her hung a single, naked bulb, dispersing light into an otherwise dark and empty room. Well, empty save for the male seated comfortably on a chair outside the cage, one foot propped the bars of her cage as he eyed her. A knife in one hand, the tip pressing into the arm rest of the chair, Luke's lips curled into a sinister smile. "Good morning, sunshine."
#libraryofdesire#:luke#closed starter#luke is an inactive/former muse that i revived for this.#lmk if it's in any way too much or too dark or w/e#also if you want info on him... lmk :) since he's inactive there's not much about him on my muse page#also! sidenote... I was aiming for about half this length. so good thing to know about me - i have no control over length whatsoever lol#no need to match :)#tw: kidnapping
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
girls will turn on transformers prime season 1 episode 4 darkness rising (part 4) an they will go timestamp 00:07:45 and watch one of the most eerie and weirdly haunting scenes in all of animated trasformers media
#scary as fuck music for no goddamn reason its like a horror movie#it really mixes well with the camera angle and everything to play on my biggest fears#which is Big Creatures Are Flailing Around And I Have No Control Over The Situation Whatsoever#tfp#transformers#sorry guys transformers prime is the only tf show ive got downloaded and since my wifi is not good i cant really watch anything else
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
this course is so funny sometimes. they go "heres what a game engine is! think carefully about what engine you should use for your final project" two months after we started work on our final project
#do you think ive been doing paper prototypes for TWO MONTHS????#it does this really funny thing to where it doesnt teach any coding whatsoever but it DOES tell you what do with the nonexistent code#'you should think about adding screenshake!' [has not taught how to give player control over object movement]#its lucky im depressed & thus have many hours outside of classwork to do this shit#because jesus am i searching desperately for a paddle along this creekbed
5 notes
·
View notes