#I have my own opinions on shit and that tends to be along the lines of

[fishyartist]

Saw a post a bit ago that was like “don’t have proshipers Dni in your banner or some people will block you” and I’m still thinking about it like. Thats. Thats the point right?? Like the whole intent of a DNI is to dissuade people in x group from interacting w/ you.

[maxwell-grant]

Reverse Unpopular Opinion: Noriaki Kakyoin

I really like that he's a bastard, might actually be my favorite thing about him. He's designed to be "the thin and sensitive one", he's made to be pretty and attractive to an extent the others aren't, and of course he's given a very sympathetic and tragic backstory and death, but a lot of the time the spotlight's on him, he's kind of a mean jerk but in a really understated fashion that makes it funny. There is a line of succession among Araki's pointedly villainous heroes that starts with B.T and is embodied in the current protagonist Jodio, and I think Kakyoin is in there, predating the likes of Rohan and Giorno. It's not for nothing that he is our first villain Stand user, and why they make a point of contrasting his charming honor student personality with his horrible gross tentacle puppet power.

I also like that this ties into his prideful personality, and the reasons why he's tagging along to defeat DIO. He's a guy who's grown used to being disconnected from people and ostracized and self-reliant (much of what I love about Death 13 retroactively is that it's hitting Kakyoin hard with this before we understand why this is a personal button for him, and it's not a beat that would work with the other Crusaders), having maybe the closest bond with his Stand that we see among the Crusaders, and his dynamic with DIO is interesting to me because he blames himself for falling victim to DIO more so than he blames DIO for it. It comes up more prominently in the D'Arby fight and the finale that he's pushing through not just a deep fear, but also a form of self-hatred whenever he thinks about what DIO did to him. He feels ashamed and humiliated and even abused, even knowing about DIO's power and the flesh buds and having seen others in his situation, seeing what happened to Polnareff and Enya, and it doesn't really dissuade him from this thinking.

It's that whole speech he gives to Jotaro in his debut about how evil is determined by who wins and who loses: people tend to forget it because he's being brainwashed, but the flesh bud doesn't alter personalities like that, Polnareff refutes this in his first encounter. That wasn't the fleshbud, that was Kakyoin talking, and he'd come back to that sentiment later. He lost to DIO, nothing else mattered, he was the loser and thus the evil one. And so he wants to make up for it, to stand up to DIO again and not give in, to be freed from him. He's constantly putting his friends first during the journey but at his most personal, when he's steeling himself, he thinks back to that and swears to overcome it. People talk a lot about how Kakyoin was a mega hit with the female demographic because he's pretty and charming in a way the sweaty buff men aren't and because he makes a good pair with Jotaro, and okay sure that's part of it, but I think the fact that his arc being that intimate, that tragic, and panning out into a story about overcoming abuse and standing strong in the face of your abuser, even if all you can do is save others from him, that was the secret ingredient. Intentionally or not, that stings pretty deep.

But mostly I like him because he is a bastard, and he's the character who's not supposed to look or act like one, so the fact that he is makes it better. "Tricking your friends into feeding a baby his own shit" is not a beat that would work with the others, or even something you could land, no matter how evil the baby was, if the guy doing it wasn't capable of selling it as a cool and funny and karmically satisfying thing to be doing.

[soullessjack]

🔥 jack

oh my godddd I have so many unpopular opinions where do I even start….HOLY DISCLAIMER BATMAN!

anyways so in no particular order or tier system:

✯ i don’t think jack would wear anything feminine im sorry spn fandom. for lolz he has same-outfit-pattern-everyday autism and for serious it’s like. Really weird how fandoms tend to HC/portray non-binary amabs (and men/transmascs in general) almost exclusively as GNC or fem-presenting…like DGMW that is a real and valid form of self expression but it’s not the Only type of non-binary expression that exists. and honestly…**dare I say that most fandom/queer spaces just need to realize that queer masculinity exists and it doesn’t always have to be a matter of breaking gender norms??

** genuinely do whatever u want idc I can’t stop you i don’t want to stop you yada yada. paint his nails and put him in a skirt all u want but Please recognize patterns yall 😭

✯ more headcanon complaints (see disclaimer above ⇧) but I promise to switch it up soon. anyways every time somebody on this lil website says something along the lines of “Jack can’t handle/doesn’t like [insert violence, scary or adult-oriented thing], he prefers [soft or blatantly childlike things]” I shrivel inward like a dead spider. It’s annoying, it’s completely inaccurate to his canon personality and interests, it’s annoying ˣ2, and whether ppl wanna admit it or not—it stems from infantilization. not necessarily ableism, as infantilization is not exclusive to disabled people, but still just about the same thing.

honestly all I see of majority jack headcanons are ones that set him back to just being a child or otherwise being treated like one. for example, the one about him being able to shapeshift is pretty cool...until it just becomes about him deciding to age regress, yknow, to an age set he canonically chose not to go through, showed no desire to be in, and is more offended than anything to be considered as such. all of his interests have to be some shit like bluey or animal crossing, and he drinks apple juice from a sippy cup instead of beer. BARF.

I’ve lessened on my keyboard warring over babyjack in the past year but I have not lessened in being a hater. and I’ve said this before, but the baby-jack au already breached headcanon containment a long time ago when it’s not only so widespread that ppl take it for canon and it makes having any intelligent conversation about him nearly fucking Impossible, but it also lead to harassment and accusations of being a fucking predator, to anyone who dared find a whole grown man attractive. any potential jack ship, like jackharper? automatic grooming case to them. it’s like the fandom is just so dead set on this idea that jack really truly is a child in every aspect you can think of, and for what? if it’s just a headcanon, something you know is not part of the actual show, then don’t go Travis the Chimp levels of apeshit when you see him being treated like he is canonically 💀

unpopular opinion numero 3 which is slightly connected to 2:

✯ baby-jack and a handful of the domestic au’s are BORING (see disclaimer again ⇧), not just on a surface level to my suiting, but also because I feel like it just ..misses the point of the show?

the ragtag untraditional found family is now as nuclear and traditional as the Atomic Age. Dean and Cas are the most heteronormative “who wears the pants in the relationship” gay couple ever, Sam is demoted to the uncle that gets written out of his own family, Jack is just there to make his gay dads look cute and emphasize that they’re a gay family (while still being very heteronormative), and at least 5 of them could be found in a California gated community. everything that made any of them unique or defined their personalities is just scrubbed off, even for an AU.

so much of the later seasons focus on Sam and Dean realizing that they don’t have to make a hard splitting decision between the lives they want to live; that they can find a balance; be happy and have good things—namely families—without giving up hunting (and vice versa, that they can have hunting without giving up on family or happiness). everybody loves the gay hunters from S10(?12?) and what they represented for Dean, but I almost never see that be put into practice in the fandom.

THEY’RE ALREADY DOMESTIC!!! AND WITH THAT PERFECT BALANCE!!!! Season 13 quite literally gave Team Free Will a surrogate son to raise and established them as a family; highly untraditional, largely dysfunctional, overall not fitting of a family family, and yet they are a family still. Dean wears an apron and cooks and bakes for everyone; he built himself a man cave and established two separate family night events that they all ritually keep up; Sam has a morning jogging routine and visits his girlfriend every so often; Jack was taught how to drive, has normal chores like washing dishes, and gets groceries. And they didn’t just have that while fighting monsters—they had that while fighting a whole fucking archangel. Even if it did go down the gutter by the end, they still had it: domestic familial bliss and violent messy hunting without having to trade one for the other.

✯ I truly genuinely think Jack’s relationship with Dean is the best, most interesting and most misunderstood out of the three, and I also think that the problems with his relationship to Cas and Sam are hugely overlooked by the fandom—granted they are very small, especially if you’re comparing it to Dean, but they’re still there and I think we should bully Cas and Sam about it more. I shan’t elaborate because it’s 5AM and this was an impulsive add-on ❤️

✯ getting normal now…his plaid pattern jacket from the first half of Ouroboros is ugly as SHIT i have never liked it and don’t think I ever will. but I cannot deny it; he got that shit on.

✯ most unpopular opinion of all, I wanna do insane shit to his cervix 🙌

[crispy-crust]

top 10 yuris

usually i would answer these asks in a jokinG manner but you've asked me about a topic i am extremely passionate about so prepare for a massive text post

addinG a cut here because this post is larGeee and i don't want it cloGGinG up any dashes

NUMBER 10: hatbow!

at number 10 due to the extreme lack of canon interaction but the fact it's here at all despite how little of it exists is a testament to how much these two have rotted in my brain. Go play a hat in time it's so cute and so fun i wish there was more content of these two

NUMBER 9: kimona!

ah kimona. how i wish there was more actual canon content of these two. this shit made volume 5 for me it's the reason volume 5 is the only volume i own of the hardcovers (for now). there is undeniable tension between these two i refuse to believe bryan lee o'malley wrote this without the intention of makinG it seem romantic. and as a friend once said "they two bad bitches n they kissin each other 🔥🔥🔥🔥"

NUMBER 8: ROSEMARY

iconic in every sense of the word these two are special to me. i have to include them here purely due to how influential they were it's awesome not much else to add here as this isn't one of the ships i'm severely brainrotted about i just think they're neat!

NUMBER 7: lumity!

i used to be biG into these two they're wonderful and it was Great seeinG somethinG like this on modern television. shoutout dressinG up and travelinG toGether (iykyk)

NUMBER 6: weblena

now we're GettinG into brainrot territory. the showrunners said somethinG alonG the lines of "webby won't Get a romantic interest because the show isn't about romance" and i Go "what the fuck are you talkinG about we already had a romantic subplot with her and lena that was clearly the point of all of that" there is a scene in season 1 where webby calls lena a "beautiful idiot" and then looks at her like this

TELL ME THAT ISN'T gAY! YOU CAN'T BECAUSE IT'S gAY AS SHIT THESE TWO ARE SO FRUITY TOgETHER DUCKTALES 2017 I LOVE YOU FOR EVERYTHINg BUT I WISH YOU ALLOWED THESE TWO TO HAPPEN

number 5: sashanne!

much can be said about this ship and the anGst behind it and all that. i'm huGe on sashannarcy as a whole and i considered addinG that ship to this list but i thouGht talkinG about the dynamics of the pairs would be more interestinG sashanne is a stronG case of missed potential to me, a lot could have been done to make their dynamic a lot more compellinG even more-so than it already is and a lot could have been chanGed about the way they handled sasha's "redemption arc" in season 3. season 3 as a whole is a mess that i have many opinions on but that's for another day. despite all the flaws and missed potential this ship still aches me in the best way possible. they were 13 years old at the time of amphibia and they had to deal with ALL OF THAT. at aGe 13 sasha elizabeth waybriGht attempted actual honest to God suicide due to a fiGht she had with anne while lean on me was playinG in the backGround and the world was forever chanGed. amphibia was so held back by so much and the amount of missed potential in it (especially in season 3) kills me but despite all of that this relationship shined throuGh as one of if not the best part of the show for many people. Good shit!

NUMBER 4: lapidot!

NOW WE'RE gETTINg TO THE gOOD SHIT how come even in media that has explicit queerness everywhere i always tend to Gravitate towards the dubiously canon clearly more than friends who were done dirty by their lack of screentime toGether? lapidot is a lot for so many reasons and i'm very much not alone in beinG abnormal about these two. IN FACT REBECCA SUgAR HERSELF DREW HUMANSTUCK ART OF THEM! AND THE OFFICIAL CARTOON NETWORK SOCIALS HAVE RECOgNIZED THIS SHIP MULTIPLE TIMES!! the way these two Grow to be comfortable around each other and learn to live in this new stranGe place toGether is so charminG and so Gut wrenchinG when you're rewatchinG the show and know what's cominG. in the episode where peridot learns to bubble stuff for the first time she sends the bubble off and when she asks steven where it'll Go he says "home" AND THEN IT CUTS TO LAPISSSSSS. SHE THINKS OF LAPIS AS HER HOMEEEEEEE DON'T EVEN FUCKINg gET ME STARTED ON DISTANT SHORE I ACTUALLY SOBBED SO FUCKINg HARD WHILE WATCHINg THAT SCENE IT'S UNREAL they were done so dirty with their reunion as well what do you mean all we Got was a "hey" I NEED TO SEE TEARS AS THEY MAKE OUT DAMN IT!! these two are imperfect and they stumble throuGh this whole life thinG a lot and there are many ups and downs to their relationship but that's what makes it compellinG that's what makes it so Good and damn it at the end they made it back to each other... if we ever Get more official su content and these two aren't canonized in it i will end up on the news

NUMBER 3: stephcass!

yea what did you expect of course this was Gonna be here these two are everythinG to me and every day that passes by where they aren't canon is a day i am in physical pain their dynamic throuGhout batGirl 2000 Gives me life and the anGst that comes from it is delicious the obvious queerbait in batGirls doesn't help this at all. they knew what they were doinG and you can't convince me otherwise these Girls and their relationship persevered despite all the editorial nonsense that tried to split them up and each time they came back stronGer than ever they have such undeniable chemistry and they're universally loved as a pairinG come on dc you would be actually stupid not to put them toGether come on everyone already clocked them like 2 decades aGo

NUMBER 2: junerezi!

dear lord this pairinG has had an affect on me. you really do Go into the epiloGues expectinG roxyGen and then end up on the other side screaminG and clawinG at the walls in the name of junerezi i was hooked on them before i even read meat! the little crumbs in candy were so dense and so impactful to me their dynamic is so incredibly fun to read and their scenes in meat are so painful and so powerful they are the reason i own the epiloGues physically i need beyond canon to be done already so i can see the end of this plotline throuGh i need them back toGether you don't understand june's death in meat while in terezi's arms actually made me feel numb irl for like a week i wish people would Give the epiloGues a chance because they're actually really damn Good and the junerezi is sooooo delicious i cry so hard i usidgfbuiydboguiszdghbfuijdsbvgfyihsdfobuijgbf[9usapigbvfuidjbsfuijdb

NUMBER 1: MARCANNE

spoiler warninG for amphibia

i don't talk about these two often on here, not as much as i'd like at least. but marcy wu as a character and this ship specifically literally chanGed me as a person. there is a reason i still call marcy my favorite character in fiction despite havinG read stories i consider to be much better than amphibia since. and this may sound stupid but i Genuinely do not know if i would be alive today were it not for marcy i started amphibia at a very rouGh time in my life and the character of marcy and the lenGths she went to for anne hit me so incredibly hard due to that imaGine with me for a second that you are 13 years old. a child Genius! everyone around you recoGnizes you as someone who will be incredibly successful later in life you have 2 people who are incredibly important to you. they mean everythinG to you you would Give the world for them and yet those two people cannot be bothered enouGh to enGaGe with you about your favorite movie or your interests in General

marcy Gave up her entire life back on earth just to be able to exist around anne and sasha. she had everythinG GoinG for her earth was her home she Got Good Grades her future looked briGht she was studyinG for the SAT from aGe 13 and earth was where all of her interests were. everythinG she knew. and she Gave that up for anne and sasha. do you know how deeply you have to care about someone to be willinG to do that? do you know how stronG your love for them has to be? cut to true colors. this episode ruined me i won't even Get into the confession scene. i have that scene memorized by heart and i start to tear up whenever i think of it i Genuinely don't think i can handle talkinG about it the stabbinG scene however.

once aGain i remind you this is a 13 year old. imaGine beinG 13 and usinG what you think may be your very last words ever to apoloGize to someone. someone you so deeply care about. you are dyinG in front of them and all you can think to say in that moment is sorry. because you believe they hate your Guts at that moment. could you imaGine GoinG throuGh that?

could you imaGine then wakinG up realizinG you're alive only to be Greeted by niGhtmarish hallucinations of your worst fear. and what's your worst fear in that moment? your friends hatinG you. them leavinG you behind after all that you went throuGh to stay close to them

the first thinG she said when she woke up was "sashy...? anne..??" SHE WAS DREAMINg OF THEMMMM

AND THEN WHEN SHE'S TAKEN OVER BY THE CORE HER FANTASY IS gETTINg TO EXPLORE NEW FANTASTICAL WORLDS ALONgSIDE ANNE AND SASHA!!! ALL SHE WANTS TO DO IS SPEND TIME WITH THE PEOPLE CLOSEST TO HER this is quickly turninG into an essay about just marcy so let me try and Get into some of the more liGhthearted aspects every sinGle scene we see of marcy and anne throuGhout their time toGether in season 2 is the Gayest shit i've seen in my whole life. them sobbinG and huGGinG each other after beinG reunited... anne boopinG marcy and tappinG her on the head later in the episode.. anne tryinG to impress marcy by actinG smart... marcy STANDINg STILL IN ONE SPOT UNTIL THE SUN WENT DOWN IN A DAY AT THE AQUARIUM AFTER ANNE LEFT TO gO WITH THE PLANTARS. ANNE BLUSHINg AT MARCY'S INFODUMP IN NEW WARTWOOD. THEIR ANTICS IN THE SLEEPOVER EPISODE. THE PROCESS OF ANNE gETTINg HER NEW ARMOR AT THE END OF SEASON 2 AND THE WAY MARCY LOOKS AT HER AFTER SHE DECIDESSSS

as previously stated this ship is extremely influential to me and i would not be the same person today without it. i don't even know if i would be here today without it. so i would like to close this post off by sayinG thank you amphibia. thank you matt braly. and most of all thank you marcy wu <3 you are a treasure that i will cherish for the rest of my life nothinG will ever compare to you

[bthump]

Ik what your stance is on liking Griffs character and I have nothing against it because Griffith's character is arguably one of the best written characters in Berserk, he's actually my guilty favorite.

But sometimes, I catch myself SILENTLY judging ppl who like characters that do morally incorrect things like Mori from Bungou Stray Dogs who's a straight up p*do or same with Hisoka or many other characters who tend to be p*dos and r*pists.

so i guess my question sorta fall in, when do you draw the line in liking a character?

I mean, Griffith did unfortunately rape casca (a horrible writing decision, really). anyways, I guess I sorta try to seek justification like "Oh but Miura wrote the rape scene in such a ridiculous way that I can't seem to really fully have the idea that Griff is a rapist in mind"

or sometimes i just yk, love the character design and how he was written (esp post eclipse god, he is awesome!!)

but sometimes...I see ppl who are justifably upset that I like a character that happens to SADLY have a stupidly written key point where he rapes a character.

And I don't blame ppl who hate Griff for raping her, bc theres been times where I also hate charcters for how they were pedos or also SA'd someone...so why is the line so blurry when it comes to liking Griffith and how can I ig put myself in a position where I don't feel bad for liking him?

tbh I don't have a line when it comes to fictional characters.

Or maybe more accurately, my line isn't which characters people like, but how they discuss them. I wouldn't judge someone (morally, I might judge their taste lol) for liking any character ever, no matter how awful, because I don't know what they like about them, what their lines are, what they feel comfortable ignoring or reasoning away or happily playing up because they like dark shit in fiction, etc. It's all fair game as far as I'm concerned. If they like a rapist I don't assume they love real rape, I assume they like dark fiction and consider them a really well-written villain, or they like other aspects of the character and the rape doesn't ruin it for them, or they like the character design and don't care that much about fictional crimes, or maybe they have a rape kink which is also perfectly fine, etc.

But yk, when people use harmful rhetoric to discuss a character they like, that's when I start judging. Eg I'm fine with people who love Guts. I'm not fine with people who say things like "Casca should forgive Guts for the assault because he stopped himself before going too far," eg. I'd be fine if they said "Casca should forgive Guts because it would make for a more satisfying story" though - I'd judge their taste in fiction and ability to analyze the story lol, but I don't think that opinion would make them a bad person. I'm fine with people who love Farnese, I'm fine with people who prefer her to Casca, but I'm not fine with anyone who might frame it like, Farnese is better than Casca because she's rich and white and from a respectable family. (I've never seen this take lol, but yk, as a hypothetical.)

Also in my personal experience I find that people who like characters due to their own offensive biases tend to have a hard time hiding it, so it's pretty easy to judge them by their own character, rather than their fictional preferences. And in my own experience the worst kinds of people tend to like heroic characters more than villains lol. If anything I find that liking characters who do "morally incorrect things" is often a sign that I'll get along with that person.

There's also something to be said here re: watsonian vs doylist perspectives. I think people who view media from a purely watsonian perspective, ie kind of buying into the fictional story as if it's real, attempting to understand the characters the way someone would understand a real person and relate to them on those terms, are going to have a harder time dealing with morally dark characters.

I tend to view media from a doylist perspective, which means I view the characters as constructions that help tell a story, and I generally judge them on what they bring to that story and how effectively they serve it. I wouldn't want to be friends with most of my faves, and I like a lot of characters who do terrible things, because those characters are fun to watch and read about. So disliking a character just because they did a bad thing doesn't really make sense to me on a personal level. I get why other people feel that way, but I don't care about fictional harm. I'll hate a character for being mildly annoying when they're on screen, but I generally won't hate a character for committing atrocities, unless they're depicted in a way that pisses me off lol. Like, I love Femto, I hate Isidro. Femto is cool even with the obnoxious rape scene, Isidro is annoying even though he's an innocent kid.

(Also I guess to be completely fair I'd judge someone for liking a character who exists solely as like, fascist political propaganda. But I do mean solely, like I'm talking shit like The Turner Diaries, not like the MCU or cop shows lol. Or like, if someone says they love the protag of Atlas Shrugged they'd better clarify that they disagree with the political messaging and they like him for xyz reasons, because it's such an infamously libertarian story that I'm gonna side-eye anyone who likes it by default, bc I feel like in this day and age very few people are reading Ayn Rand for the story lol. So I do technically have some lines in terms of judging fans of characters, but they're pretty uncommon lines.)

tl;dr I don't think you should feel bad for liking Griffith and idt you should even feel like you have to justify it by saying the rape scene was badly written. It was, and I think it's totally fair if that helps you like Griffith more, but even if the rape scene was super well-written and respectful to Casca and thematically significant etc etc Griffith would still be a fantastically written character imo.

And I don't know the other examples you gave personally, but as a general rule I think it's better to judge people for how they behave than for what kinds of fiction they enjoy. I do at least have friends who like Hisoka, presumably because he's a fun, entertaining character give or take the creepiness, and they're awesome people.

I don't think you should have to like those characters yourself ofc, rape/pedophilia/etc etc is a pretty understandable line to draw in terms of your own enjoyment of a fictional character, but other people have different lines and I think that's reasonable too.

[overlord-of-chaos]

Thoughts on the end of Good Omens 2, as an aroace

So, I'm going to preface this with a few things, since I would very much like anyone who does choose to read this to do in good faith, and I would like to establish my own. Firstly, this is absolutely not a criticism of anybody's headcanons. Crowley and Aziraphale, of all characters, have incredible potential for headcanoning, and I love seeing the fandom's wide and varying interpretations. Secondly, what you see here is not a complete and entire reflection of my opinions of the characters mentioned or the show. It is very specifically me airing my grievances and concerns and venting because I cannot cope with not saying anything at all. I love Good Omens, but I am not going to add caveats to my every sentence to make sure that you, the reader, are certain I'm not just bashing one of the most fantastically queer shows I know. Thirdly, if you vehemently disagree with everything I'm saying here, you're free to ignore it. This is not for you. You're also free to ignore it if you do agree, but at this point I'm going on the assumption that that'll be a smaller portion of whatever audience this reaches anyway. Fourthly, if you are in a similar position to me and sort of spiralling at the prospect of your comfort QPR not being a QPR anymore, then maybe you should read the bullet points at the end. I've sort of got my shit together by then.

So, that said, I would like to take this post as an opportunity to say that I worry about where Good Omens is going. Not in a plot-related sort of way as such, we all know it'll all be alright in the end, more in terms of representation - specifically, whether, by the end of the show, I'll be able to see myself in the characters anymore.

Now, why is this? Well, as you may have guessed from the title, I'm aroace. And when I first saw the Good Omens show, I hadn't really been involved in the fandom at all. This is due to a variety of reasons, including that I wasn't on any of the platforms that enable me to engage in fandom now, and because I'd only read the book a couple of months prior. I didn't know, as I do more now, that one of the main interpretations of the relationship between Crowley and Aziraphale before the show came out was romantic, and I wasn't expecting to see that in the show. I don't tend to expect romance in most circumstances. I more end up picking up on the common tropes used to develop romantic relationships in fiction and observe with little enthusiasm as a character dynamic 'blossoms' into something I cannot comprehend. (This is not to say I dislike romance in everything. I simply dislike it being the one and only significant dynamic in pretty much everything all the time.)

I was well aware that the relationship between Crowley and Aziraphale in the show had been expanded and developed along the lines of a romantic relationship, and I really liked the way it was handled. But at no point did I think this meant that their relationship had to be read as romantic. I thought I could see something of myself in them, and see a relationship that was something other than romantic. At the risk of sounding insulting, I did not feel like their relationship could be anything as simple as a romance. I saw two beings who very deeply loved each other in a nonromantic way, and thought hey, maybe this is a dynamic I could see myself in at last. Maybe this isn't the same old kind of love story.

I thought, perhaps naively, that no matter the hinting from the cast and the way that season 1 was set up, there would always be the room to interpret Aziraphale and Crowley's relationship as platonic (or queerplatonic, specifically, as I read it). And then...well, I imagine you all know what happened then.

From a more objective (probably not quite the right word, but can't think of a better one) analytical perspective, the kiss was one of the hardest-hitting moments in any story I've ever watched, or read. The setup was amazing, the acting was impeccable, and I could not imagine anything else having the same impact. As Neil Gaiman himself has said, no one could deny that it happened. I think it was categorically the right narrative choice. That's not what I'm debating here.

What hurts, what really fucking hurts, is that a lot of the time, I don't feel like there's space for my aroace/queerplatonic reading of their relationship anymore. Some of that's on me, because headcanon is headcanon and there's no reason why I should assume my reading of the relationship is wrong, or canonically impossible. (I mean, Ineffable Bureaucracy is canon. Anything is possible in this fandom.) However, it does mean that I do not quite have the same ability to bury my head in the sand and say that Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship is not set up to be read specifically as a romance.

What worries me is that I am very well aware that I am in a disappointed minority when thinking that their relationship will continue to unfold by hitting key romantic plot points until the door for an aroace interpretation isn't even left ajar. I am in a minority that the writers of Good Omens will likely never hear, and even if they do, I certainly wouldn't expect them to change the coming plot for me.

Most people take the kiss as explicit confirmation that the love between Crowley and Aziraphale is romantic. There's the occasional 'it's okay, they can still be ace!' post dotted around, but no one seems to be talking about the possibility of them being aromantic anymore. They weren't doing that much previously, admittedly, but all I seem to see, from other aro people included, is discussion around how they're feeling about the romance between them being made canon, while I'm sitting here thinking is that the only thing that kiss is allowed to mean? It means that I find myself wondering whether I should give up on seeing the relationship as nonromantic, if only so that I am not as disappointed when season 3 rolls around. (There had better fucking be a season 3. Amazon better fucking pay the writers, pay the actors and renew shit instead of just cancelling it.)

I think one of the main things that makes me uncomfortable is the assumption that the next logical step in Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship is sexual. Because that's how these things normally go, right? You have an ostensibly platonic relationship with romantic undertones, then it becomes explicitly romantic, and then the next 'natural' progression is sexual. It's the same thing every single time. I think it's been vaguely mentioned that they're asexual by virtue of not being human (almost all ace rep being in nonhuman characters is a whole other essay and not something I'm going to get into here), by Neil a few times and in the book, but since I wasn't expecting there to be so little space to read their relationship as nonromantic, I don't know that I can continue to expect it to seem nonsexual too.

And even if that's not the route they take, I don't know that I can trust them not to play up a romantic dynamic, particularly when I think a lot of people would be disappointed if the relationship is 'just' platonic, or platonic-leaning. And I get that, I do. We've been queerbaited enough, but that doesn't mean that something not being romantically queer means it isn't queer at all. I have no idea how one would manage to frame a relationship as explicitly and specifically queerplatonic; there isn't really a template for it (though my god would I love for Good Omens to be the show that makes one). I imagine it would be much more realistic to perhaps hope for something that isn't exclusively and explicitly romantic.

One of my concerns, of course, with a queerplatonic route is that it would be upsetting to people who do see them as a romantic couple to have that door be closed to them (I really don't wish an experience like that on anyone), and that it would leave more space for queerphobic assholes to claim that they're 'just friends'. But I've spent my life hoping for a story that doesn't push platonic love to the wayside when there's the potential for romance, especially when the relationship starts out as something brilliantly compelling and nonromantic. I've spent my life trying not to internalise the idea that the way I love, the only way I can love, isn't enough, even when it seems to be the message that's being shouted with almost every story I ever encounter. A lot of the time, it doesn't bother me anymore. I'm used to it by now. But most of the stories I know haven't meant as much to me as Good Omens. I didn't see the same space to read a relationship in a nonromantic way as I did in Good Omens.

Anyway. I figure either I post this, two people read it and then it disappears into the aether, or I wake up tomorrow morning and find I have made enemies of over half the GO fandom. It doesn't really matter. I think I have accomplished what I wanted to do when I started writing, which was to lay everything out logically for myself so that the mounting evidence not in my favour did not seem quite so insurmountable. And honestly? It doesn't anymore. My brain is very often my own worst enemy, and articulating my emotions somewhere means that I can look at all of this and conclude the following:

Most of the reason why I do not think I can view Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship as nonromantic anymore is because everyone else thinks the ending confirms their hopes of it definitely being romantic. If nothing else, I'm genuinely delighted that it's bringing so many people that joy. We all deserve that kind of joy, and all the canonically queer relationships media has to offer. If nothing else, there is so much joy to take in other people's wholehearted adoration of what season 2 meant to them.

Most of my concerns about how season 3 will go are largely unfounded and entirely hypothetical. Most of it hasn't even been written yet, and can't be until the WGA strike is over anyway, so no one can even hint at how it'll go because it is not, in fact, going.

People will read what they will into Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship dynamic, and so can I! Such are the joys of varying interpretation and headcanon and all that jazz.

One kiss does not close any queerplatonic (or aroace) doors. Nor would a hundred. One of the many joys of queerplatonic relationships is that they can be whatever the fuck you want them to be, including a dynamic that would typically be read as romantic, but isn't.

A romantic relationship is not inherently superior to a platonic one. A romantic relationship is not inherently superior to a platonic one. A romantic relationship is not inherently superior to a platonic one, and nothing in the canon of Good Omens has ever stated this not to be true.

No one who is involved in Good Omens has ever at any point, to my knowledge, said that Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship has to be romantic, or even implied that one must see it that way, or that seeing it otherwise means seeing it as lesser. I am reading this into things because I expect it of the world. I should probably stop.

Short of some truly spectacular feats that may or may not be illegal, there is absolutely nothing I can do to influence the people creating the show, so what I get is what I get. If I can't change it, I might as well enjoy it. There's so much to enjoy, after all. No point stressing over maybes.

If you got this far, I am impressed, I'm not sure I'd have read this much. I hope that this post perhaps gives you a little to think about, preferably a positive something. I also hope that you bear in mind that this is a rather venty braindump and should not be taken as a damning indictment of anything or anyone. I'll probably delete this sometime soon, but I was seized by an urge to say something, and so say something I have, even if I probably forgot at least half my original points.

[slotumn]

My favorite house are the Deer and my OTP are both GD, so I tend to write most of my fics in VW, but I think the scenario I actually find the most fascinating in terms of... character exploration potential? is actually Silver Snow. Because there, all three lords lose, and the only person who remains to do the hard (and ungrateful) work of rebuilding is Byleth.

(And tbh even if it's not SS specifically I just really like any kind of scenario where all three lords lose miserably. I love good whump and I really love stuff that leans into despair of "everything I did and everything I lived for all amounted to nothing," that's the good shit)

For Dimitri and Edelgard, I think it's fitting and poignant if they both die in scenarios where they don't win; for Claude, though, I really like the idea of him being alive in SS or any "all three lose" scenario, but never getting to yield political power again.

And because he survived, he doesn't even get to be heroized or romanticized like Edelgard and Dimitri. Maybe if he had good results with his schemes, he'd be a genius and the Master Tactician, but he didn't, so now he's just a lying backstabbing piece of shit, as far as public opinion is concerned, and it's extremely humiliating. Of course Claude would rather be alive and humiliated than dead and valorized, but that doesn't mean it's fun!

Plus there's the great irony of how he'd go from being unfairly hated because of his heritage, of being an outsider... to being pretty fairly hated. Like not only is he a war criminal, he is a war criminal who lost. And even before he lost he was already contentious within his own faction. His PR is not recovering.

I'm rambling here but one of my favorite aspects of Claude's character is how he holds a philosophy along the lines of "it's not the strong who survive, it's those who survive that are strong." That as long as you're breathing, there's another chance. It's a very appropriate blend of pragmatic and optimistic for someone with his background.

At the same time, that just makes me wonder how he'd react if he's killed in all ways but physical. For how laid back he acts, he's still a prince, and a politician through and through. So what's it going to be like, once he's breathing but socially and politically dead, with the blood of thousands on his hands?

What's it going to be like, once he'd outlived the two others who'd understand?

Tl;dr I love the idea of "if nothing else I'll outlive them" becoming a monkey's paw for Claude, him surviving as a pathetic cowardly loser (the exact thing he must have been accused of being since childhood) instead of a leader in a new era

[thawthebeez]

hey guys. tumblr user thawthebeez back at it again with yet another haikyuu essay B) the topic of today is one that i see NOBODY talking about which is crazy because this motif is (in my opinion) one of the main foundations of the kagehina community.

now may someone please explain to me why the HELL nobody ever talks about how whenever Tobio expresses an insecurity of ANY KIND, Hinata is ALWAYS the first one to swoop in and tell him not to worry about it?

yes, we've all established that Hinata Shouyou is the #1 Kageyama Tobio understander. we get that. BUT THIS IS ONE OF THE MAIN DISPLAYS OF THAT AND I'VE SEEN LITERALLY NOBODY SPEAK OF IT EVER.

i'm pretty sure there's an instance of it in season 2 (either that or my brain just made it up) when Tobio is a little worried about his and Hinata's quick attack not really working out but Hinata tells him "nah you'll figure it out eventually" or something along those lines. i'm not going to lose my shit over it because i can't find it but if you know YOU KNOW.

a part that i COULD find from season 2, however, was this:

here we have Tobio explaining how talented of a setter Oikawa is- how he's so much better than him- and it's clear that this is something he's insecure about given his facial expression.

THEN we have Hinata's INSTANT response:

and it blows Tobio away because WHAT

because, to paraphrase a little, Tobio basically just said "yeah oikawa can make any spiker look good no matter what team he's on" to which Hinata replied "yeah but that team wouldn't be Karasuno" which is essentially "Karasuno is strong enough as it is" BUT- if ur crazy- " dw he wouldn't take your spot babe" (<- which probably isn't how it's meant to be interpreted because they just finished talking about The Team That's Stronger As Six thing so like... context clues. it's probably not the insane interpretation).

ANYWAYS boom there it is. Tobio expresses insecurity, Shouyou swoops in and goes "Ermmmm Actuallyyyyy🤓" WHICH IS SO FUCKING ENDEARING ON IT'S OWN BUT THE FACT THAT IT HAPPENS MORE THAN ONCE AND AT SUCH A CRITICAL POINT TOO

the critical point in question being:

(context: Tobio just came back from his training camp in Tokyo and is a little frustrated because he's gotten so used to playing with other prodigies like himself so to go back to talented-but-not-prodigious players is a bit of a switch for him. don't get him wrong tho he loves this team to DEATH it's just a little different that's all. hashtag number one Tobio apologist right here)

SO THERE'S THIS! and it goes without saying that Tobio is DEEPLY insecure about his late middle-school days and being referred to as a king. Tsukishima adds a little salt to the wound and while I didn't take a screenshot of it Tobio makes this look of absolute HORROR after he says what he says

(which, side note, shows a lot of a character development within Tobio. especially since I've been flipping between season 2 and 4 a lot looking for these clips. Tobio didn't even notice when he was acting kingly before but he realizes it INSTANTLY now which is so so so good for him yayyyy character development!)

this also leads fantastically into my next tangent which is

TOBIO FUCKING APOLOGIZES!

now, admittedly this isn't entirely related to my thesis but i absolutely ADORE talking about this scene and i genuinely think it is one of the most prevalent displays of character development within Tobio because i feel like he tends to get overshadowed by all the other characters (especially Hinata, which i'm not upset about in the slightest like it makes perfect sense and if Tobio got all the attention all the time the show would be soooo unbalanced)

but I feel like a lot of people skip over Tobio's overall development over the course of the show. I mean compare s1 Tobio to s4 Tobio THAT IS NOT SAME PERSON ANYMORE. he grows so much over such a short period of time (which is another essay I could write. something along the lines of "Explaining Why Tobio And Shouyou Need To Be On Separate Teams Actually Because Character Development Purposes" because the amount of people i've seen on tiktok complaining about kghn being on separate teams and how they should just be on the same team forever makes my blood boil violently) and it's so refreshing to see Tobio's growth especially as a big Tobio enjoyer.

ANYWAYS back to the main thesis.

So Hinata steps in IMMEDIATELY here. literally cuts Tobio's apology off because HE HAS NOTHING TO APOLOGIZE FOR. he was expressing his thoughts whatever that's fine he could have done it in a nicer way SURE but listen the guy still has a LOOOONNNGGGG way to go but still, nothing to apologize for. it's just growing pains, y'know?

now the quote "What's wrong with him being the King again?" appearing here isn't the first time we're seeing this. Hinata has ALWAYS been confused as to why calling Tobio a "King" is a bad thing. literally from day fucking one Hinata was like "nah dude I think that title is cool" WHICH, AGAIN, TOBIO BEING INSECURE ABOUT SOMETHING AND SHOUYOU REASSURING HIM THAT IT'S TOTALLY CHILL HELLO?????

LITERALLY FROM DAY ONE SHOUYOU HAS BEEN DOING THIS. THAT MAN MAY THINK TOBIO'S AN ASSHOLE SOMETIMES (and he kinda is) BUT NEVER WILL HINATA INHERENTLY HATE A PART OF HIM. and i don't think they realize it here nor do i think the realization comes soon after but at some point there will be the realization that they love each other. every single part. fucking Tobio probably realized it way back in junior high but that's a tangent for another time.

now this line.... this one right here...... oh my god i can be SO NORMAL ABOUT IT.

the main reason why Tobio had this look of HORROR on his face after he yelled at everyone was BECAUSE HE KNEW THE ENDING. he knew that yelling at them would have consequences (if it weren't for Hinata stepping in thank god). HE'S SEEN IT ALL BEFORE. in his final year of junior high he yelled at his teammates to run faster and jump higher and be better AND THEY LEFT HIM!!!

so Tobio yelling like this instantly makes him afraid that he's just ruined the entire balance of the team. he thinks he's going to be left behind again because he yelled and everyone is going to leave him BUT!!!!!

BUT SHOUYOU IMMEDIATELY JUMPS IN AND SAYS "idc what u say honestly if i don't like i'm just not gonna listen" OR, TO TRANSLATE "i'm not going anywhere regardless of what you say"

Tobio's biggest fear is losing this team. I literally do not need to explain why. that man would fucking DIE for this team (if you really need an explanation just to go the end of the Kamomedai match when Tobio admits that he's upset they lost because he wanted to play with that specific team more).

and for Hinata to essentially say "you could literally be as kingly as u want and i simply would not care, pal, i promise you i am NOT going ANYWHERE!!!" which has got to be SO FUCKING RELIEVING FOR TOBIO.

(also something something "nobody was there" / "i'm here" something something "doesn't matter what kind of toss goes up if you send it my way i'm hitting it" something something they're soulmates or whatever they are literally bound together by the universe they were destined to be together and it's a crime that universe kept them apart for so long and now that they're together they will always BE together two peas in a pod literally inseparable they are hot glued and duct taped together.)

and then there's this. i mean at this point you already know what i'm going to say like you get it by now but again IT MUST BE SO RELIEVING TO TOBIO to know that shouyou thinks his biggest insecurity is cool. that shouyou thinks that it's not something to be concerned about. that no matter what, no matter how much a King he is, they're not going anywhere.

SOMETHING SOMETHING "you drew stars around my scars" IF YOU EVEN CARE

and just the fact that it's always ALWAYS shouyou to do this. the fact that there was dead silence before shouyou spoke up. the fact that it's ALWAYS HIM there to understand Tobio (someone who has been misunderstood for as long as he can remember) GOD THEY DRIVE ME INSANE.

anyways thank you for being a witness to this madness👍

[epitome-of-an-openbook]

op I read your steddie fic where post and specifically the part abt Steve being intelligent got my attention bc (and also youre so right abt the whole thing)

-what about the fics where Steve is visibly (?? idk englishs not my thing) autistic? Cause if you're neurodivergent and can actually follow his thought process along he's super smart (unconventionally smart my beloved) but for neurotypicals I'm told it makes him sound some variation of stupid/oblivious/dumb (when he's def not haha)

-what are your opinions about the fics where Steve is _pretending_ to be stupid? Like, plays into the jock bit, and makes people think he's slow to use it to his advantage? not necessarily in a "bad person" way (and especially if you can tell he's smart from the outside/his own pov)? >>>esp if he doesn't even realize he's doing it?

-how about Steve's concussions/neurodivergency affecting the more "conventionally smart" aspects of his brain? like, his memory is shit and he can't spell properly or he can't do complex math, but he knows everyone's expressions and holds a scary amount of talent in physical activities he's never done before type thing (insp after me who got complimented by the "hardass" coach after trying boxing simply because I watch and calculate and how that's easy for me to switch into my own movements)

-opinions on Steve "looking dumb" because he's simply...not American? Like, his English is plenty good but that's because he's been copying speech patterns for so long now, and the Harringtons are tied to some p important Italian families so he almost never speaks English there either, and I personally like the fics where he's frustrated simply because he can't understand (like the story about the Korean immigrant and the lovely teacher) and also the scene in modern family where Gloria says "I know what I meant to mean! do you know how smart I am in my own language?"

-thoughts on someone lifting their head up from nerd shit and realizing Steve's been making like many smart remarks that nobody listens to cause he doesn't know nerd lingo?

(also unrelated but trans!Steve MTF _or_ FTM is so important to me <3)

I've a whole "trope theory" about different types of intelligence groups tend to have, and simply put it goes

book smarts, street (survival) smarts, emotional smarts, social smarts

and how those mix and match to show through in characters that are disregarded as stupid and I personally believe Steve is very Socially _and_ emotionally smart but because he's arguably in line to be the most toxic masculine people by reputation (not personality but the past -both his and his dads- linger) people don't notice it.

I'd love to chat more both abt my theory and Steve in general <3

Hi anon, of course I want to talk about Steve's intelligence - because I am so so so tired of him being written off as the fool, and I am especially tired of people pretending like he is not the most emotionally intelligent person in the show other than potentially Will or Joyce. Also in advance, I totally go on a BUNCH of tirades and rants so I'm sorry if you lose the thread at all, I just have a lot of thoughts and they all FEEL important to me. So yeah, this is a long one.

-what about the fics where Steve is visibly (?? idk englishs not my thing) autistic? Cause if you're neurodivergent and can actually follow his thought process along he's super smart?

I haven't read many fics where Neurodivergent! Steve's divergence is specifically autism and personally I feel that other divergences fit him better such as OCD (see - his need to keep things tidy, instances of reduced impulse control, repetitive/ritualistic behaviors, hypervigilance, and agitation), ADHD (see - his need to be moving lots of pacing and bouncing, difficulty concentrating on the group discussions, impulsivity), Dyslexia/Dyscalculia (personal/popular headcanon), or something that would affect his audio processing (personal/unpopular headcanon; see- being unable to get past the music on the recording, difficulty following along with the group discussions, immediately losing track of the group in the Upside Down Wheeler's house when he thinks he hears Dustin)- but I definitely read him as someone whose brain works in a way that is non-typical which is something we ABSOLUTELY see in season 3 where he focuses in on the music and it seems like he literally can't focus on the Russian words until he knows what the music is.

But what it comes down to is that so many people read the fact that he didn't get into college (which is more indicative of a lack of testing skills than it is for actual intelligence) and his inability to follow along with group discussions about Upside Down stuff (which could point to issues with concentration or audio processing or just a lack of knowledge regarding the lingo being used) as a way to characterize him entirely as an idiot/fool. This of course isn't helped by the Duffers refusing to deepen his character beyond "he was bad but now he's good because now he's interacting with intelligent™ people". So to answer this question, I'm all for fics that explore Steve's intellect through a lens of "no he's not dumb, he just processes information in an atypical way".

-what are your opinions about the fics where Steve is _pretending_ to be stupid? Like, plays into the jock bit, and makes people think he's slow to use it to his advantage? not necessarily in a "bad person" way (and especially if you can tell he's smart from the outside/his own pov)?

I'm not 100% sure I'm interpreting this question correctly but I have some issues with fics where the character of interest is 'pretending' to be stupid so it entirely depends on what the motivation behind doing so is.

If the motivation is "I play dumb so that I can fit in better and not be bullied for being smart" I don't like it that much - I feel like in a lot of media, and American media especially, there is this perpetuation of Smart=Unpopular/Bullied/Unathletic and Dumb=Popular/Bully/Athletic and I don't like that because in my lived experience that really isn't the case - I have friends that were the Valedictorian's of their high schools by gpa that were also class president and soccer captian and genuinely good people and some of the meanest people I have ever met were stereotypical™ nerds. So if the motivation is that he pretends to be dumb specifically to fit in and not get bullied I don't really like it. HOWEVER, if the motivation is "I downplay my intelligence so that people underestimate me" that's different and I can get behind it to a degree - no one is perfect and Steve was not the best person at first so him having a little manipulation bit like this would make sense.

Also this leads into another thing I feel we don't talk about enough - Steve is a jock with a head for STRATEGY and you cannot tell me otherwise. The ability to strategize is something we like to take away from jocks all across media, but as a former athlete myself I can tell you that a LOT of thought goes into athletic strategy and it translates well to other aspects of life. We also see Steve make quick strategic decisions A LOT but we never mention them - some examples include when he leads the scoops troop through the crowded russian base w/o getting caught - some of this is simply poor writing/tracking and i will admit that but if we suspend our disbelief for a second it's Steve that looks at the set up takes in the information and says "Follow me, stay low and be quick" as they navigate that scene, we also see it in season two when him and Dustin get to the junkyard and he says "oh yeah this will do nicely" and then he proceeds to set the stage for catching Dart with a clearing to trap him, a reinforced fort for protection and surveillance and honestly the only reason this goes wrong is because there was more than one demodog. So yeah being good with strategy lends itself well to Steve using his intelligence as a manipulation for others to underestimate him. I personally would love for there to be a fic where one of the kids challenges Steve to a strategy game like chess or risk or something like that and for him to DECIMATE them because strategy is the thing he's good at.

-how about Steve's concussions/neurodivergency affecting the more "conventionally smart" aspects of his brain? like, his memory is shit and he can't spell properly or he can't do complex math, but he knows everyone's expressions and holds a scary amount of talent in physical activities he's never done before type thing

For one I would like to quickly put out there that Steve almost definitely got a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) from the Russian Torture - and probably PCS (Post Concussion Syndrome) from the fight with Billy (I would also like to quickly mention that these are different things with different causes and potential future outcomes/side effects, I feel like they get confused a lot in this fandom which is totally fine but just a reminder that a concussion comes specifically from your brain impacting your skull and how he receives his head injuries from Jonathan and the Russians would indicate to me that he probably didn't have a concussion those times but when he crashes the car in season three he could have easily gotten a whiplash concussion which is something we don't talk about but does actually happen a lot and it's less likely to get treated because people don't realize you can get a concussion w/o hitting your head. Also I am so sorry about this head trauma info dump, it's just a subject I have lots of experience with/knowledge about).

ANYWAY, yeah TBIs and PCS can really mess with your head and are often the cause of things like memory loss - as well as vision and hearing impairment. Also TBIs have been studied a lot in American Football players and sometimes they can even cause shifts in personality. (Also @peter-pantomime has some really good discussions and headcanons regarding Steve's head traumas so I highly suggest their content both here and on tiktok.)

And yes, Steve consistently proves to be extremely socially intelligent. You do not get to the top of the high school food chain by simply being attractive or athletic, you have to be capable of understanding and manipulating certain social interactions - walking into a room and knowing who to talk to and who to avoid, popularity is often just a matter of networking and part of the reason Steve loses his popularity is because he abandons the network he built himself up through and switches it out for a group of people much lower on the social ladder. We also can tell he's incredibly emotionally intelligent through his interactions with others - scenes that really show this are Steve cleaning up the theater sign and going to apologize to Jonathan (some might say this is just emotional maturity but i would like to point out that he was emotionally intelligent enough to realize that it was Jonathan that deserved the apology instead of just Nancy) (s1), when Will comes home and we see him empathize with the worry of Joyce & Jonathan (s2), when he can seemingly tell that something happened between Nancy and Jonathan but instead of lashing out he supports her (also s2), when Robin comes out to him and also technically rejects him but he just treats her like normal (s3), like… every scene with him and Max in S4, and also when he tells Eddie that he needs to stop being so hard on himself when he keeps talking about how much of a coward he is (also S4).

-opinions on Steve "looking dumb" because he's simply...not American? Like, his English is plenty good but that's because he's been copying speech patterns for so long now, and the Harringtons are tied to some p important Italian families so he almost never speaks English there either, and I personally like the fics where he's frustrated simply because he can't understand (like the story about the Korean immigrant and the lovely teacher) and also the scene in modern family where Gloria says "I know what I meant to mean! do you know how smart I am in my own language?"

I have never seen this done before, but I absolutely adore this concept, if you (or anyone else) has some fic recs with this trope 👀👀👀 please share.

-thoughts on someone lifting their head up from nerd shit and realizing Steve's been making like many smart remarks that nobody listens to cause he doesn't know nerd lingo?

Yes do it, caveat: I think it needs to be Robin, Eddie, or Will - I think everyone else is a little too in their own way of realizing Steve has consistently made good points.

For Robin, as a Queer Platonic Stobin truther, I feel like if anyone were to really get into Steve's brain it would be her.

For Eddie, I feel it comes from that same vein that we see people pointing out that Eddie is the only person who directly answer Steve's questions, so it would make sense for him to be the one to say "wait hey - Steve is actually asking incredibly relevant questions that lead to a point he wants to make."

For Will, I simply think that he's the most emotionally intelligent member of the original Party and also the one with the fewest interactions with Steve so if he were to be with Steve in a time of crisis he wouldn't ignore Steve's thoughts the way that sometimes happens and notice something about how he processes information or something and be like "why did you guys all tell me he was dumb, he's making extremely relevant points right now?"

(also unrelated but trans!Steve MTF _or_ FTM is so important to me <3)

<3 Trans!Steve 🤝 GenderFluid!Steve solidarity

I love fics where Steve explores gender identity or at least his relationship with gender presentation, I'm partial to GenderFluid!Steve but regardless I love this.

[catgirl-catboy]

I have some questions

When does “it’s just fiction” stop being a valid justification? We all know that “it’s just a joke” has its limits enough racist jokes and you are practically doing nothing different then that form an actual racist and are causing the same amount of harm. Same with fiction, ofcourse it’s not 1:1 but we do know fiction can have a strong influence on the real world and people.

How is “it’s just fiction and “it’s juts a joke” different in you opinion?

And when does “it’s just fiction” hits its limits?

Thank for taking your time to answer

I got a big smile when reading this ask, since I genuinely do love debating these things. Too much hate in discourse, not enough genuine debate. I feel like "when its just fiction" becomes a problem for ME vs when it becomes a problem for YOU vs when it becomes a problem for the GOVERNMENT is 3 completely different questions. I don't want the damn government, or the damn tumblr staff, or whichever authority, to have any say in what should or shouldn't be written about, simply because that power is so easy to abuse. I feel like the moment you allow censorship in any capacity, SOMEONE'S going to want to make it impossible to publish a negative opinion about them.

So that means I think it should be legal to publish whatever racist, sexist, bigoted content you want. Even if I disagree with it. Even if it makes me want to puke.

Even if I'd stop being friends with someone because they agree with the author.

Even if I'm a proshipper, I have personal lines that I'm NOT willing to cross. Some of these lines are based off my morality (for instance, I'd rather be caught dead before I give money to anyone that supports autism speaks), and some are based on my personal tastes and trauma. (not giving an example of those for obvious reasons.)

Its one thing that I feel a lot of antishippers don't get, that personal disgust doesn't always correlate to immorality. Sometimes it very much does, but I don't think that should be the default stance.

But I think that I, along with every other human being, should have the right to decide what counts as "too far" for myself. I don't want strangers doing it for me, and I don't want authority figures doing it for me, because they will invariably cater to their own interests. If people choose to read or write shit that makes them worse, thats on them.

So what counts as "too far" is really something you'll have to decide for yourself.

(Personally, I judge it on a "I know it when I see it" basis, and tend to exit out of a lot of stuff as a result. Sometimes you open a fanfic and their portrayals of queer characters, female characters, or just life in general. The reason? Most of the time I don't read fanfic to challenge my existing worldview and be uncomfortable. I read fanfic to be sad, or feel lonely.)

[sasukimimochi]

Making a post cuz i'm bothered by this and i see this kind of cringe-control type behavior around a lot. i don't think people are doing it maliciously half the time but when you don't know something you don't know and i think people should understand how it's actually quite controlling/hurtful.

Putting it under read more cuz i'm going to talk about pg-13 and above topics.

(there isn't anything explicit, just words are mentioned, thus why the keep reading line.)

This hasn't happened to me like, i haven't been told these words are cringe to my face but i see many posts about it.

but... i do use "cringe" typical words.

people will say don't call +18/explicit content "lewd/spicy/lemon"

people will say don't use "length/member/shaft" etc and these are just two categories i'm referencing here cuz i can't think of more off the top of my head. the abundance of examples here though isn't important.

now as you probably know i already use at least two of the words mentioned. i'm not saying my reasons are the same for others, but i hate seeing the posts saying that it's because you're too ashamed of what you're talking/reading etc about and then ranting about how cringe it is.

i can talk in explicit detail about +18 topics, but i personally cringe at the words sex/cock/balls/hot/sexy/dick etc like...my reasoning isn't that i'm ashamed of what i'm talking about, its that the words make me uncomfortable and i think they're words that aren't for me due to the vulgar vibe i get from them. you can like those words all you want though, just like how i can like my words all i want!

judging people for using specific words is the dumbest thing i've seen lately in my opinion (other than obvious important things going on in the world, let's not get that specific). i can understand if it's like, genuinely offensive or something. But this is different, these words are just straight up harmless- when did spicy even get put in the cringe category? you allergic to someone saying a picture/piece of writing is spicy?

tbh i have two reasons for using the subtler words like spicy, which i tend to actually use most often along with the word "length/erection" instead of "cock/dick". one of the reasons is a very simple one: tumblr does some weird shit if you put the abbreviation for not safe for work in your post (i did once and it scared me cuz something popped up saying something about changing my content and i was like asdfs??? but anyway i'm not trying it again), and second, i have some type of aversion to certain words. it has nothing to do with the conversation i'm having and all to do with the word.

I use the word "explicit" most often to replace n*fw, because of tumblrs issues with the content, but i have and will still call such content all three: you won't catch me calling it sex/porn etc because i find it personally a lot to mentally handle. I imagine a lot of these other words being used aren't only because of someone wanting to come up with other ways to write the terms, but for reasons like mine, where the words are disconcerting.

i get a similar feeling whenever someone says a character/person is "hot/sexy", i hate it, idk how to feel about it, it feels uncomfortable, but i absolutely agree that the person/character looks good! but you won't catch me ever calling anyone/anything by those.

like, there's a long list of terms i hate but are completely normal for the average person. You will not see me using them, but i don't judge you for it. i know its normal and i'm not out here to control your lives.

however i see so many people getting annoyed at these "cringier" word choices and i gotta say, live a little. embrace some cringe. it's not gonna kill you to see them just as it doesn't kill me to see descriptions in writing going on about cock and balls like its some elegant poetry.

let people live. enjoy your own life. i'll stick to saying slit, you stick to saying vagina. i'll stick to saying length, you say cock.

but stop making fun of people for it.

stop telling people they're doing it for no good reason.

obviously, you will never know if someone else identifies with what i've said.

so you shouldn't judge strangers and say they're ashamed and/or what they're saying is cringe- i fucking love explicit content. i get happy/excited about it too. i just do it differently in the way that makes me comfortable.

If you're uncomfortable with me using words that make me comfortable, then that's a you problem, i'd say.

[suckitsurveys]

Do you own anything from Victoria’s Secret “Pink” line? Do you really think the clothes are worth the price? Nope and nope.

What does your last incoming text say, who was it from, and how do you feel about that person? It was from Ellen and it was about telling my niece we have Billie Eilish tickets. I love Ellen; she is one of my best friends. I get to see her in two weeks!

Did you have a New Year’s kiss? I did. I think we forgot to kiss at exactly midnight but we did eventually lol.

Are there any words that you cannot pronounce or that you pronounce incorrectly? I have a hard time with “peculiar” and “conscience.”

After a long day at work or of doing something physical what tends to hurt more? Your back or your feet? My back.

Do you have a smart phone? If so, what’s your favorite app? Yes. Right now I am a fan of the NTY app with all the games.

Who would you say is the overall best person you know, and why? Mark because he loves me.

If you had to choose between being a Nurse or an English teacher which would you choose and why? Both sound absolutely miserable.

Do you have a specific gas station you usually go to? Or do you stop wherever? No, I stop wherever. There are a couple I frequent though; one by my house and another by work, just because those are the most convenient. But I am not above stopping other places if I need gas.

How much older than you was the oldest person you have dated/had a relationship with? Mark is 5 years older than me.

Is anything stressing you out at the moment? Everything.

What is your opinion on dating someone who already had a child/children from a previous relationship? I wouldn’t be with someone who had a child.

Have you ever actually found a mascara that makes a huge difference for your lashes? Yeah, I have really light and short lashes, so on the rare occasion I wear mascara, it definitely makes them look darker/longer.

Would you rather have one or two great facial features that stand out, or have just an overall pretty face but have no special features? I’d rather have the special features.

Do you have any plans for Valentine’s Day? Did you do anything last Valentine’s Day? Probably just make dinner with Mark.

Do you check your horoscope daily? If so, did you relate to your horoscope at all today? I don’t check it daily but I am sucker for horoscope memes. I think I definitely have some virgo characteristics.

When you need to remember something, how do you usually go about doing so? I set a reminder on my phone.

Do you think you’re a confident person? In your opinion what makes someone “confident” anyways? I fucking hate myself right now so try again later.

How would you describe someone that is your type of guy/girl? I LOVE a sense of humor. Like, we need to laugh at stupid shit together and you gotta be a lil sarcastic or we won’t get along. I also like em tall and scrawny and brown eyes don’t hurt either hehehe.

Do you read books often? What is your all time favorite book and author? I don’t.

Have you recently accomplished anything that you are proud of yourself for? Actually going to New York.

Are you still friends with any of your exes? Do you still communicate with any of them at all? Nope and nope.

What is your opinion on people that shop at Sephora for makeup as opposed to buying makeup from the drugstore? I don’t care.

When you enter a store like Target or Walmart where is the first section you go? Depends on what I am there for, but I like checking the dollar spot in Target because they usually have cute seasonal stuff.

Are you the type of person to fight for someone or walk away? Depends on the person/relationship.

Is marijuana legal for “recreational use” where you live? Also what is your opinion on the recent legalization of marijuana in certain states? It is legal here and should be everywhere.

Do you live on your own or with your parents/a roommate? Do you think you’d like to live alone? I live with my husband.

How often would you say you use Microsoft Word? Relatively often at work.

What is the last online purchase you made? I just ordered some dry shampoo but just remembered I need to order my niece’s party decor soon!!!!!

Do you usually have bad symptoms around “that time of the month”? Yes.

Is there anyone you have to see on a daily/weekly basis that you really dislike? Yup, most of my coworkers.

Is your hair thick or thin? Would you say it’s easy to manage? It’s on the thicker side and it’s pretty manageable for me.

Have you ever had to deal with any type of long distance relationship, whether it be a romantic relationship or a friendship? Yeah, my husband and I were long distance the first few years of our relationship. I also have a few friends who live out of state.

Are you procrastinating doing anything right now? Yes.

How do you feel about being called sweetie/dear/honey/etc.? I don’t mind it if it’s from someone I know.

Have you ever had a thing for/relationship with a coworker? How did it end? Nope.

What would you say is your worst habit? Picking at my face. Its why I still have acne at 30 fucking 4 years old.

Do you have a place you go to a lot that you may be considered “a regular” at? Sure.

Do you ever read the articles posted on the home page of Xanga? Has there ever been one that has really stood out to you? Woah damn this is a THROWBACK.

What is the weather currently like where you live? It’s rainy and in the low 70Fs right now. I have the window opened in the office and it’s pretty nice.

Is there anyone that you text on a regular basis that you do not have saved in your phone? If so, why don’t you have their number saved? Nope.

Do you have any plans for Mardi Gras? Nah.

[patchesproblem]

Thoughts on each Anti-Entropy member?

It depends on what you mean by thoughts, like if it's just my general opinion or if you're meaning the ideas I have for each one. If this isn't what you meant feel free to send another ask.

Tesla, Einstein, and Schrodinger are my favorites and I love them more than anything. Their relationships with each other and on their own absolutely drive me insane.

Tesla in general is a huge favorite of mine because of just how she is. Her story + how interesting the historical aspects about her are (I won't go into detail because it's a long rambling but it's interesting to me.) Plus I love how she depicts ADHD because it aligns with my own experiences and it makes me happy lmao. Especially with her relationship with Einstein.

Einstein is tied with Tesla just because they're a pair and I refuse to separate them. She's a nice person but is mischevious and and will not hesitate to tease her friends and I love it. There's a shit ton of other stuff I want to say about her but I don't know how to word it, so it'll just be an add on for later maybe.

Schrodinger.. I love her so much I want to throw her. Like yes she attempted murder however we all have our silly little moods. Joking aside I'm so sad that she's not appearing in the main story more.. Her relationship with Reanna, Tesla, and Einstein should've been expanded upon more and the fact it wasn't kills me. Kira came home from war why can't Schrodinger </3

Welt Joyce is good, but he's not my favorite tbh. I don't think about him much. His lores interesting and he's sweet, but I just can't get myself to get attached or really be invested beyond looking into historical aspects (i.e. me starting to read James Joyce's works to see if there's anything relating to him there.) That's not to say I hate him, quite the opposite actually. It's just. He's not a character for me essentially. He's well written and he deserved better tbh. He's also my friends favorite so he's basically a fav in law.

Joachim / Welt Yang I don't really have an opinion on. He's interesting, but I tend to avoid stuff about him for my own reasons. Him and Bronyas father daughter relationship is really sweet to me though.. I love it. Though also I'm still interested on where that man went when he ran away from his moms with ADA. What was he doing during all that time.

Cocolia is someone I want to punt into the sun along with the Welt Joyce clones. I support womens rights and wrongs however she tried over throwing Tesla and Einstein and had full intention on getting Einstein either killed or trapped in the SoQ. I will support your rights and wrongs until said crimes are against my favorites. (I like her character / story I just hate her as a person.)

The Welt Joyce clones unironically remind me of emo boy band members who probably have a few crimes on their criminal records. Wanna be cool kids but really everyone hates them.

Planck and Karl (I know he's technically not apart of AE but he's an honorary member in my book) are my beloveds. I love them both. Insane midlife crisis lady and father figure who is just there. I know Karl has 2 lines and we know nothing about him but I'm delusional.

I hate Edison with a passion. I unironically hate her more than Otto. I'm not elaborating. There's nothing redeeming about her and I wish she didn't exist.

Joffrey is just a child. I don't know what is going on with him At All.

Sin Mal is just kinda. There. I forget she exists in HI3rd tbh. I mainly know her from HG2..

ADA my beloved. I love her. She deserved better. Come back from war I miss you honey.

Reanna Brigantia... I loved her so much. She was such a sweet person and deserved SO much better than what happened to her in the end.

I think this is all of the major characters? I could've put the Schicksal Valkyries in here since they all were apart of AE at some point but they're with Schicksal again so.

[jchance4d4]

Some great responses here, peer-reviewing before I add my own thoughts, I couldn’t choose just one to follow up on: https://www.tumblr.com/goodluckdetective/721139869278175232/theres-this-really-weird-thing-with-western-media --probably the best shredding of the whole thing.

“The “white people have no culture” shit is moronic, but this ask is a fucking doozy itself. Crazily enough, culture and ethnicity aren’t inherently linked to one another. Can we stop wrapping borderline ethnonationalist nonsense in wokespeak, please.” -- @holyscream​

“This one is short of decrying the “great reset” and wallowing in ethnopluralist tears. A very precious uncensored opinion, no?“ -- @2o3dinge​

“#it's not like western american white mormon culture...#...would be recognizable to my protestant english ancestors#etcetc#i'm not culturally Scottish at all despite having a Scottish surname#much to my chagrin#whiteness is giving that up to unite as an oppressor class#in service to capitalists above ourselves#my ancestors became americans and mormons and now i'm lost bc of that#that kind of thing is what whiteness is“ -- @catsnuggler​

And, for myself, this ask caused a big chunk of memory to fall on my head out of the sky.  So, back on LJ, I was rubbernecking for most of Racefail ‘09.  And, as much as it’s been mythologised by some people as “when fandom woke up to how shitty it had been”, there were plenty of idiots and extremists (as with the anti phenomenon, a bunch of idiots egged on by a few extremists) who were putatively on the better side of it.  And, as far as I can tell, they were the ones who popularised “too problematic to exist” in internet culture as a whole, and brought it here.

Why do I bring this up?  Because, when you look at what these I&Es were saying back then, they tended very much towards a poorly hidden, or blatant, separatism and cultural purism, very much along the lines of this ask.  There was a whole major sidebar of condemnation over an Arthurian-reincarnation story where a Black American teenager found that he had been Merlin in another life, and needed to be again, on grounds of “dragging him into a white story instead of drawing from his own true background”.  I couldn’t help being reminded, and thinking about how that sowed the seeds for purity culture to emerge in the more fertile (almost wrote futile...) soil of sexual hangups and ship-warring.

I also couldn’t help remembering that, in some of the arguing over EOTWR, one of the biggest and most Stitch-obsequious boosters linked to a Twitter thread (I can’t recall if it was their own or someone else’s) concerning “self-decolonialization” during and after Racefail in a way that very much indicated falling in with the aforementioned faction.

There's this really weird thing with western media rn, where they take IP's, stories, and more with a mainly white cast and then racebend them to be poc... or as everyone seems to be pointing out recently, just making them black. This is really weird to me, because some years ago and even today, I see people say "White people have no culture" and "white people don't have stories" but for a bunch of people who said these things, to now be supporting the taking of white cultures, history and stories, and bending them to have black characters feels very ironic. I wish I could ask them "have you not seen the stories of the African continent? The stories and cultures of its people? Have you not seen the diversity and mythologies of these countries? Do you view them as worth less? Do you think the stories told by the African people are of less quality than those of Europeans and White-Americans?" I don't get it. It seems peak of irony to say "white people have no culture" when people use white culture and history and just racebend it, instead of giving you actual black cultures and history.

--

[silentwalrus1]

Hi, can I ask you a writing question? One of my works has a place in it that i want to worldbuild and make feel authentic, or at least like i know what i'm talking about, and the fact that youve apparently never actually finished brotherhood and yet have fleshed out Amestris and it's relations down to insane minutiae honestly stuns me. So i want to ask how you're able to do that, how do you know where to look for the information you need? is hammering all that out just a continual process of interrogating yourself on 'okay, then what?' I'd be greatly obliged if you could share some wisdom. (also caveat emptor rules and i will be devouring non's fics later)

Worldbuilding! Arguably my favorite thing to do in stories!

Let’s take a look at this from the top down. 

Step one: notice stuff. 

I write what I like to read, and often what’s most interesting to me is the physical worlds built in fiction, as well as the cultures and behaviors etc that arise from them and how they differ from what we have in reality; that means I’m often paying the most attention to what other authors do when it comes to building out other realities, on everything from physical laws of the universe to linguistic drift. The details I particularly like or that stick out to me as the most convincing or interesting is what I tend to incorporate.

This is also true of real life - i love cities and gardens and food, so the things i notice about cities and gardens and food are what I write about: details that add texture and individuality to where I am, what I’m doing and how. What country am I in? How is it different from my own? Do I have to wear special clothing? How are the maps different? The street paving? Are people rude here? What is rude here? What the hell is that thing being fried on a stick and what does it taste like? 

 Making these details feel realistic in fiction, however, often involves building logic chains more than just copying things from real life or native creativity. which brings us to: 

Step Two: scream WHY? 

WHY are things the way they are? Why is the teapot full of so much goddamn limescale in Paris? Why are portrayals of ghosts illegal in Chinese fiction & media? Why does Russian food suck so so bad? All of these questions have answers. (Built on limestone. Implication of afterlife undermines state doctrine. Not a lot of fresh produce grows locally and what does tends to be tubers.) So building out these If X - Then Y chains give you depth and context to the world, and in fiction make it feel realistic. 

For example: Why do most countries in the world teach children English? Because an English speaking empire conquered a lot of them, leading it to become a lingua franca and the de facto language of higher education and commerce now. So if you want to have Fictional Country X, Y and Z all share a language - what’s the reason? Shared national origin, split apart later along ethnic lines? Shared colonial history? Shared trading ties so longstanding that a basic business esperanto developed? 

Step Three: integrate it... NATURALLY. Act NATURAL

To people living within a world, their everyday reality is not going to be news to them. They are also very likely going to have Opinions about how the world is set up around them. Having Character A monologue about How The World Works for twenty pages at Born Yesterday Character B is... look, that shit’s not even that fun even when it IS justified in-universe, like for example this being Harry Potter’s first day at magic school learning about magic world for the first time ever, from people whose job it is to literally give lectures on the stuff. 

So you want to get this stuff in there more organically. One of the best ways to integrate believable worldbuilding is to have your characters complain. Everybody gets around on flying dragons? Twenty minute rant on how the giant dragon manure cleanup crews are NEVER on top of it, and god fucking help you if you jaywalk under a major flight path and an incontinent Bluescale happens to trundle past. What’s pissing your character off at their job? What made them mad in the news this morning? What are they craving that’s out of season or too expensive or doesn’t come in the color they want? 

All of these things make your characters feel like more complete people, because in real life we’ve all got big, overarching goals (become a doctor, start a family, restore our bodies from a cruel and arbitrary god) but we also have medium goals (get that promotion at work, buy a house, stop the apocalypse) and of course small goals (change your bedsheets, buy that snack you’re craving, get your busted automail fixed & not die in the process). 

All of these goals arise from our surroundings and the world we live in, and are often quite interconnected (I need to go pick up my prescription -> the country in which my drugs are manufactured is currently at war with my country and under shipping embargo from three others -> i become a supervillain). If Amestris’ capital city is designed to be a circle, for example, then maybe kindergartners in Central learn basic neighborhood geography with maps that look like pies, and this makes people jokingly refer to various districts as Strawberry Rhubarb or whatever. 

So yes, a lot of it is just asking yourself “okay, what then” and extrapolating logically: you introduce X phenomenon, what effect will that have on everything else? If your story is on an island, you’re likely to have a lot of fishing industry, cuisine, culture. If your story is in a space station, people are going to move in ways that account for zero G. If your story is in a dictatorship, people are going to be less trusting, less socially mobile, less informed. (This is actually one of my main cinamasins ding sounds for FMA - where is the culture of repression and cultural control and fear endemic to authoritarian regimes!!!) 

So overall, my advice here boils down to get outside, read a lot (fiction and nonfiction) and just notice stuff, including all the ways how you receive new information - gossip? Memes? Church? News headline? History textbook? Racist joke? - which then gives you a big grab-bag of things to pull on and put together. Have fun! 

[apocalypticgargoyle]

meet clay, he knows how you'll die.

intro filler chapter sorry

☾ pairing: dream x reader

☾ cw: interact at your own risk; contains graphic depictions of various character death and violence, suicide, blood, gore, and other triggering material. angst, language, guns, adult content, mentions of sex, slow burn friends to lovers

☾ wc: ~4100

Clay pulled the strap of his backpack further on his shoulder as he wove through the mindless sea of college students, eyes scanning the crowd for you, his best friend and the only person he could stand at the early hour. His knuckles flashed white as he sighed, taking the blunt impact of someone walking into him. He removed one of his headphones, mumbling a quick apology and swatting off the enthusiastically apologetic sophomore girl. All he could focus on was how much she bit her lip as she stammered on about not seeing him. It wasn’t alluring to him when most girls tried to sway his affections by looking at him with a puppy dog expression; all his mind drifted to was the dead skin across the body of her lower lip.

He finally nodded and reinstated his headphone, turning on his heel and heading for the front of the building. He received a few greetings from his peers as they crossed his path, people who shared past lectures with him and who had cheated off of him during exams. He wasn’t popular by any means, but he stayed out of people’s business and didn’t express his opinions loudly, so people tended to like him. The autumn breeze picked up as he stood in the dwellings of political science majors on the front lawn, acting as if they hadn’t seen one another in years when it had been only a few days. Clay absent-mindedly looked down at his cellphone, flipping through music as he leaned against the cool brick of the hall’s facade, waiting for you to find him.

Clay’s usual brooding manner was often off-putting to outsiders, with the careless-hollow look in his eyes giving bystanders the impression that he was nothing but a machiavellian. But you always saw the brightness in him; the side that you always experienced was specifically for you, and he made sure to keep it that way. You had wedged herself into his life and he was ever grateful for the love you had given him.

Despite the understood truth between the two of you that nothing was to be left unsaid, Clay still found himself keeping one of the most important aspects of his character unknown to you. His bloodcurdling secret was his own curse, something that would only be poison for another soul to know.

“What’s up, stud?” Somehow a flush of relief rippled through Clay’s body as his eyes locked to yours, pulling him from his isolated shell. Your hair looked brighter today against the dark hoodie peeking out from beneath an all too familiar bomber jacket. The wind fluffed your locks slightly as you continued towards him.

His eyebrows perked up as if to signal he was attempting to downplay his excited demeanor. “Stud, huh?” You smirked at his response, taking one of his headphones and putting it in your own ear, her face angled up to Clay as you waited to recognize the song, swaying slightly.

He chuckled as you shrunk away from him after muttering the song’s artist disappointedly and rolling your eyes, pulling on his hoodie pocket to follow you. As chaotic as his life often felt, he could always rely on the consistency of you. You usually attached yourself to one of his backpack straps, handles, his belt loop, or ended up under his arm, wedged against his side. It had gotten to the point that he felt naked if you weren’t within arm’s length of him, which was rare for the two of you. “So, I have something for you.” He smugly looked down at you, green eyes masking a hidden sparkle as you handed him a can of root beer, making him chuckle.

“Aren’t you sweet?” He popped the tab, taking a sip as you waved at a group of girls passing the two of you before slipping your hand against the crook of his elbow where his hoodie sleeves were pushed back.

“Actually, I was hoping it could be payment for later. I need to head over to the cemetery for some rubbings. History 270 has me getting into some weird shit, huh?” He laughed again at you, offering you the drink.

“And you need wheels?” You nodded and smiled politely at him, beaming at his words. “Yeah, alright. I have to sketch something for art anyway.” He thought about the week’s assignment and then about your little project he had dealt with the prior year. You had acted like the two of you hadn’t been to the cemetery on a regular basis, but he was grateful that you wanted him to come along with you.

You quietly jumped once. “You are my hero in faded denim, Clay. You know that, right?”

The two of you parted ways to your select destinations, one of Clay’s least favorite parts of the day, which was only solidified as he sunk into his seat and attempted to look equipped for the lecture. He spotted an unfamiliar kid shaking his knee in a distant section of the classroom. In any other circumstance, he wouldn’t have thought twice, but the sie of the class had given him the pleasantries of getting his own personal curse out of the way on the first day.

He carefully watched the boy speak smugly to a few of the more athletic kids in the room. One of the athletes pointed to the general direction Clay was sitting in and they all moved towards him. He, yet again, took out his headphones, knowing full well that they would be talking to him for the rest of the class.

“Oi, Shaman,” one of the main guys greeted Clay like they always did: a strange pattern of slapping and shaking his hand. He was thankful he had gotten all of their first impressions months prior and didn’t have to worry about getting their scenarios again, but he geared up to meet the new kid.

“How are you, Punz?” Clay took a deep breath as the new kid was gestured to and brought into the light.

“This is Mark. He’s a transfer from one of the commuter campuses. Mark, this is the mastermind you pay for notes.”

Clay sarcastically smiled at Punz. “My, you flatter me more than any girl. Nice to meet you, man.” As soon as he touched Mark’s hand, Clay’s mind flashed to a dingy-looking barn out in the middle of nowhere before an older man in his mid-thirties came into view with a lever-action rifle in his hand. In another flash, Clay was in front of the man, now kneeling with the gun in his mouth, red, blurry eyes looking straight through Clay. A pang of guilt broke open in Clay’s stomach as he pushed against the handguard lever and pulled it back into place, squeezing the trigger and sending Ckay back to the class. He let out a sigh and fought to plaster one of his less absent smiles.

“Speaking of our lovely girls, Mark here has a question about her.” Clay’s head tilted towards Mark, not exactly squaring up to him, but sending him an amused look as if to warn him not to cross a line, knowing full-well this conversation would somehow involve you. “We all know that no guy would ever intrude on her without your blessing, but Mark sat near her on the bus before his first class and was thinking about asking her out.”

Clay bit back a laugh, feeling like the Vito Corleone. “Well, you know her, Punz, and you know she would be mortified if I told some guy to fuck off, so I would just ask her yourself?” Oh, how desperately Clay wanted to bash Mark for not even telling Clay himself and the fact that the boy before him was nowhere near your type, but Clay knew better than to burn bridges and he felt bad for the way Mark would meet his end.

Nobody, not even you, knew about Clay’s gift. In the going-on-five years of knowing you, he came breaths away from letting his secret slip but has always kept it hidden, hoping to bury it with him after being married to you for forty happy years.

The visions started around his fifth-grade year, beginning with vivid dreams of dying in the midst of the Civil War, feeling the warm gushing of blood leaving his system, and the stabbing pain of being shot multiple times beside a woman who oddly looked enough like you that he almost called out your name. He had lived what he presumed to be his death in the life before this one several times, each vision taking him a few clicks further.

Soon, he found himself catching glimpses of others’ deaths before they happened as soon as they touched him, but thankfully it was usually over with no time passing and he only endured the visions once for each person, fate having already sealed itself. The only person who seemed to mix him up was you.

It was love at first sight for him, but as soon as you touched his arm, bleak snapshots of a boating accident raced into his mind, only to have to re-experience the scenario a few months later with you stepping in front of a train. Even as a measly high school freshman, he promised himself that there was no way he was letting you die in the gruesome manners being predicted to you. He didn’t think changing fate was possible until he witnessed you in action. He hated seeing you so young in each of the glimpses, tearing him to shreds as he knew time and time again that there was no way he could change what was meant to be.

There were even times when he quietly promised you that he’d die by your side if he couldn’t stop it.

As his lecture let out, Clay found you tucked into a corner of the library, smiling to yourself silently as knew you had finally found what you were looking for in one of the massive books before you. There were many moments like this that Clay wished he could pause and remember for the rest of his life. He was proud that you were there for him even though you could have left instead of playing your own little game of library scavenger hunts.

Since knowing you, he had taken note of how you treated other boys, usually as first dates and never true pick-ups. You didn’t care if they called you the next day or not and he was sure you had never even been kissed before. Something about your guys’ relationship gave others the nod to leave it the fuck alone, and that your heart truly belonged to Clay; a responsibility he wished didn’t plague you with. Despite this, he couldn’t bring himself to be with you, only worried that what you had would be destroyed because he knew that as soon as he told you about his gift, you might leave.

You always brought a bag of marbles and a bouquet of flowers to the cemetery. You loved to find the tombstones that looked neglected or ones with older dates, knowing that the possibility of having family members who remembered the person was lower. The trees in the graveyard were reds and yellows with the changing season, leaves scattered over the grass, naturally piling in large masses. This was your favorite for how neglected it seemed to always be. You had a knack for making inanimate objects and lost souls feel loved; Clay often feeling like he was one of these disembodied figures.

Clay leaned his back against one of the massive trees a few paces from the tombstone you had picked, smiling as he watched you carry out her routine. He flipped to a clean page in his sketchbook as you sat cross-legged in front of the great stone resting place, pulling the long-dead flowers from the concrete gauntlet and replenishing a few flowers in their place while setting an equal number of marbles along the grass line of the stone. A daisy was tucked behind your ear as you ran her fingers against the worn chiseling of the dates, smiling slightly. He began to sketch you out. Your eyes drifted to him before the corners of your mouth curled up into a smirk and you returned to her previous position, straightening your shoulders. “Who is it?” He asked, blending a rough edge with the pads of his finger as you tilted your head at the script carvings.

“George McAfee. Born 1926. Died 1963.” The wind picked up, blowing your hair away from your face as you pulled your jacket closer around you. “What was happening in 1963?” You turned your head to him momentarily before looking back at the lucky man. “I mean besides Beatlemania and JFK’s assassination?”

Clay outstretched one of his legs, swallowing as he thought, his eyes fluttering from the page in front of him to you. “Well, Alcatraz was shut down, Studebaker stopped production, the USSR sent the first woman into space…” he trailed off, watching you as the gears began to spin in your head.

“Do you think he died in the Coliseum explosion?” You wet your lips and he couldn’t help but smile at you.

“Maybe he died in the USS Thresher sinking?” He was thankful that he could capture your thoughtful gaze in this picture.

“You’re smart, Dream. Have I ever told you that?” He chuckled at the sigh in your voice. He detailed the bomber jacket you were wearing---which you’d stolen from his closet god knows when---a bit as you placed a piece of paper over the engraving and rubbed a crayon against the stone, his name coming to life on the paper as you came to life on Clay’s. It didn’t matter why you two would be in the cemetery, you always had a type of bond with the dead, surprising Clay due to how bright you were and your power of holding onto so much compassion. He threw his sketchbook into his backpack and slug in over his shoulder, moving to help you up. You decided to give the rest of the flowers to George as Clay stood next to you, gazing down at his grave.

A high-pitched moan startled the two of you, snapping your heads to look over the hedges separating your section of graves and the one beside it. Clay’s eyes widened as they fell to a girl in all black with porcelain skin propped on top of one of the tombstones. You clasped your hand over his mouth pulling him onto the ground next to you as you peered through a hole in the bushes. His mind noticed your arms first. One of them was secured over his chest and the other wrapped around his shoulder from beneath his arm, holding onto him as he steadied himself in the weird crouching position. “Are you enjoying this?” He jeered, looking over his shoulder slightly as he heard you snicker. The girl began to ride the stone harder.

“How many times in your life are you going to see a girl humping a gravestone? Honestly, Clay, how many?” He shook his head as you both looked at the girl, giggling to yourselves. You dug her face into his shoulder trying to stifle the next laugh trying to rip through your body as the gothic girl moaned, letting out more labored breaths. Clay’s face contorted into a twisted look of disgust as the girl tugged on her own hair. “Oh, do you think that hurts?” You took the words out of his mouth, tightening your arms around him as he shrugged.

“I doubt it’s any rockier than sex with a human.” He bit his lip, a hollow sound interrupting him quietly laughing at his own joke as you thumped him in the chest. The girl moaned louder. “Alright, she’s climaxing. I’m uncomfortable now.” Clay stood and Willow popped up next to him, lacing your fingers with his, bringing color back to his cheeks as you slipped the remaining marbles into his pocket.

“Oh, hi!” In the midst of holding hands with you again and trying to slink back to his car, he hadn’t even realized that the moaning had stopped. The girl now stood near the two of you in what seemed to be a black slip. Clay found it hard to make direct eye contact with her. “Are you guys looking for someone?”

“We were, but we couldn’t find him so-” you began, gesturing for Clay’s car and pulling him next to you.

“Well, I can help. Who are you looking for?” A thousand sarcastically vulgar comments ran through Clay’shead but his eyes flickered from her face to the tombstone she was on previously.

“Uh, my grandpa. His name was Rupert Daniels,” Clay managed to choke out. Your nails dug into his arm while your hand squeezed his. The girl looked around at the surrounding stones.

“I don’t see him right now, but I can look?” You both shook your heads quickly and muttered various responses before finally slipping away from her and getting into his car. Neither of you said anything as you pulled off the gravel driveway until crossing the railroad tracks when Clay burst out laughing.

“Do you think she even knew who it was she was gettin’ it on with or did she just pick somewhere random?” Clay laughed harder at your stunned response. “I’m serious. Clay, what the fuck. How can someone even get off in a cemetery?”

“I don’t know, man. Would you hook up with someone in a cemetery?” Clay quipped, wiggling his eyebrows at you, causing you to laugh. You dug into his console, pulling out a bag of M&Ms you had stashed in there last week, popping one in your mouth.

“Only if it was you.”

He giggled. “Excuse me, what?”

“There are just some things you do with certain people, Dream. You know what I mean.”

“I don’t know if I should be flattered I’m the only one you would have sex with in a cemetery, or like, disgusted?” You laughed at his reaction.

Within ten minutes the sun had begun to set and Clay sang loudly with you to the song playing over the radio as Clay sped along one of the county roads near your apartment complex, not wanting the night to end. He loved these moments with you. You turned down the radio and threw your hair back into a ponytail. “So, what do you think of that new kid, Mark?” Something in Clay shifted, taking away the free feeling he had recently possessed next to you. He thought carefully.

He chewed his bottom lip. “Depends on what you think?”

“Well, he seems like a wannabe Punz. And he asked me out. Naturally, I said ‘yes’ because maybe he’s different?” Clay chuckled at your sarcasm, putting his car in park on the side of the street your flat was on and getting out with you. The radio still hummed in the air lowly. “He insisted on Friday, though.” Clay dramatically acted like you had stabbed him in the heart, even though it did hurt. Friday night was their night. It had been a running tradition for movie night every Friday since your freshman year and you had never canceled on Clay for a date. “I know, I know. But I figured that I’d tell him I had diarrhea when it hit eight o’clock and be over at your place with an extra pizza? Your roommate’s working right?” He chuckled with a nod, walking you up the first three steps to your place as you made it to the concrete landing. You turned to him. “And he said he was taking me somewhere fancy, so I’ll snag you some breadsticks.” He tilted his head at you as you winked at him.

“Nah, don’t worry about it. Wanna be Punz might be fun. Maybe I’ll call up Minx and hang out with her?” He joked. Minx was a friend of yours that hung out with the two of you sometimes. He had never really liked her, but she was friends with you and thus he was always civil.

“You’re still my number one, babe.” You pushed him slightly as you climbed a few more steps, leaning on the railing as he waved to leave. “Hey, Dream?” He turned on his heel as you forced yourself to make eye contact. He stuffed his hands in his jeans pockets. “You could kiss me, you know? For science.” You smiled softly at him from where you were perched. He wet his lips as his heart hammered in his chest. He wanted to scale the steps and close the space between you, to knock you off your feet and show you just how much he was in love with you.

He hated himself. “A first kiss should have more magic in it than just for science. As a romantic, you should know first hand.” You smiled at the ground in front of you.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” The two of you seemed to shake off the serious moment as you stuck your tongue out at him and slipped inside your house as both giggled.

“I love you,” he murmured as you left, punching himself in the shoulder as he got back into his car.

Clay’s heartbeat pulsed in his ears, making him truly believe he was going to pass out. He had lost his gun at least a mile back. He was running mindlessly now, not knowing how long or where he was going. He trudged through the forest, hearing dogs barking and gunshots erupting around him, the ringing in his ears building with every step he forced himself to make. He wanted to rip open the front of his jacket to release the body heat drenching his collar, but he didn’t move other than propelling his body further and further away from the soldiers. You ran beside him, holding your skirt up while your hair danced around your shoulders like a great waterfall. As soon as his body felt like it might just give out, he would look at you and somehow find more of a drive to pull forward. His breaths were brittle and hoarse as he drew in borrowed oxygen. His lungs felt shallow like they were giving out on him.

You reached back, grasping his hand and pulling him into a sharp corner, hoping to lose the group. You both had managed to weave into the forest, but the dogs were somehow still picking up on your scent. The pair of you finally came upon a clearing and kneeled down out of sight, spotting a house in the middle of a glen. Bullets were streaming through the air. The forest was catching fire and cannons were echoing through the distant air. You squeezed his hand tightly, looking at him with terror in your eyes. He had gotten the two of you into this mess, but he was glad he was beside you.

He pulled you to your feet as the pair of you sprinted for a distant house. A sharp pain stabbed into Clay’s back, making him drop to the ground. How did he not hear the gun? You dropped to your feet, your eyes welling with tears, ripping at his jacket, but he pushed you off, telling you to leave quickly. He leaned forward, eyes locking on the soldiers in gray coming towards them, reloading their rifles. He groaned, pushing himself up, but only having the same stabbing sensation two more times in his chest. He heard you scream, but he couldn’t see you.

His hands were going numb as he touched where the bullets entered, feeling the warm and sticky crimson substance seep between his fingers. The soldiers reached you before you had made it to the house, pulling you to the ground next to him. You were crying heavily as you looked at him. Everything began to run quiet as you held onto him tightly. You were saying something to him, but he couldn’t hear you. He was only aware of his jacket soaking with blood. He coughed, wanting to tell you he loved you one last time, but you were tugged away from him, pressed to one of the men in gray. He raised a hand to you as you fought against the man. And then everything went dark.

Dream Tag List: (hopefully this works)

@karlkitten @pluto-dizzz @more-like-reyna @honk-izzie-was-taken @marrymetheonott @froggyy06 @ghoulandghost @savingpluto @marshmallow-babe @drunkpumpkincake @unstableye @tinyegg @behzzyboo @twist3dtinkerbell @sparkletash @shroomieissmall @clubfairy @camerondiaz48104 @victory-is-here @rat-poisin @alm334 @acidluvs @pachowpachowbucket @bbigbbrainn @cdizzlevalntyne @idiotinnit @generallysleepdeprived @sacvf @phsychopathetic @froggerrrr @robinslie @essencee @jemalovesmarvel @sbi-is-my-onlysanity @jenlouvre @victoria-a567 @miilliiie @bunnylotl @thegirlwhowritesawksh-t @carlyferrell @dumb-chaotic-bi-energy @nyxieahh @quivvyintheclouds @sarcasticmichelle @book-of-anarchy @millavalntyne @lightdreamy @baddiesforcorpse @sunnynapp @fantasy-innit @rat-poisin @wreny24 @deepestofwaters @exenestea @indecisivehusky @fallxnly @alm334 @skaratjung @punzcanrailme @sap-naps @denki-exe @angeltears18 @silvemistxe33 @andreamalik6 @kris-stuff @sun-fiower-seed @where-thesundoesntshine @dilfdream @esmegregory04 @itsparasocial @mlqcool @mcgoddess404 @rinatdawn @chaoscait @peppermintkisses @libbynotfound @speedrunningtherapy @lunxramour @aoonai @loraleiix @ghoulpixiie