#I have literally rewatched all of their scene and written three fics about them (with a fourth on the way)

[doyelikehaggis]

The way that Yennskier are all I can think about.

[wordsandrobots]

I just wanted to say I have so much respect for the incredible essays and fic you write for IBO, and I’m so grateful you’re in this fandom.

I was wondering, have you talked previously about McGillis’ line of “Is there such thing as true happiness and fake happiness?” especially when considered alongside his line of wanting to make Almiria happy? If not, what do you make of that?

It’s been floating around in my head ever since I watched the show, but I haven’t been able to figure out exactly what to make of it and haven’t had the time to rewatch the show yet.

Thank you! My brain has been set to overdrive on the subject of Iron-Blooded Orphans for more than three years now (please send help) so I'm not sure I could have stopped if I tried.

Anyway. Oh boy. That line. No, I haven't written commentary on it previously, at least not directly. But it underpins literally everything I've done in terms of fanfic spiralling out of McGillis' actions, so I have thought about it quite a lot.

For me -- apart from being the moment Gaelio realises precisely how far he's fucked everything up -- that question is the distillation of McGillis as a character. And as much as he says it about his treatment of Almira, it also serves as an excellent vector for examining McGillis and Gaelio's changing relationship throughout the entire show, specifically with regard to why Gaelio is Always Wrong (TM) about his best-friend-turned-mortal-enemy.

The context here is important, since this final scene is the one point in the entire show where we can uncomplicatedly say McGillis is being completely open. He's lost. He's dying. Everything he hoped to achieve has fallen to pieces. Visually, he's been stripped back to his child self, hair fallen wild and expression dulled. This is McGillis undone. It no longer matters what he does or how he presents, so he's finally able to be honest with Gaelio. All the masks are off.

Gaelio, of course, is in full avenger mode, demanding McGillis stay alive long enough to look directly at the consequences of his actions and face his crimes. And McGillis finally admits that all the jumping up and down and masked-ghost shenanigans was unnecessary: he'd *always* seen Gaelio and always held affection for him. He wasn't some cold traitor, saying all the right things to get close enough to stab everyone in the back. Gaelio and Carta were his friends, and though that was anathema to his desire for power, it wasn't a fraud. He even promised to make Gaelio's sister happy for the sake of their friendship.

The English dub script adds the phrase 'no matter the cost' to the end of this statement and I think that's a very acute sentiment, given McGillis nearly dies sooner due to the wound he suffered stopping Almiria from killing herself. His own actions prove he means what he says: even at the cost of harm to himself, he was determined to honour his word on at least this point.

Predictably, Gaelio responds by reiterating the accusation of McGillis spreading delusions. Any happiness McGillis gave to Almiria could only be fake (due to the scheming, backstabbing, brother-murdering and so on). Which leads McGillis to asking, does it matter?

Are there such things as true and fake happiness?

I mentioned masks. For Gaelio, that's a literal object, a disguise to conceal his survival (from anybody who doesn't have the official height chart to hand, at least), that is literally discarded at this point. But for McGillis, the masks always run deeper. Indeed, if there's one thing we can say about his Montag persona and the attendant jester's visage, it's that it allows him to act more like he really wants to, to the point he starts getting a little giddy.

No, for him, masking is performance. Acting. The construction of a surface persona to meet the demands of the situation he's in. Gaelio draws attention to this when describing how McGillis changed as they grew into teenagers, opting to actively fit in with the social scene around them and only seeming to share his 'true' feelings when the two were alone. As the audience, though, we can trace his chameleonic nature back further. In the montage of McGillis' past, we see him adapting to the various situations he is forced into, first by teaching himself to commit violence to establish dominance, then by cultivating studiousness. It seems unlikely McGillis being chosen as Iznario's heir was disconnected from how hard he worked on building himself up in order to survive. Learning how to navigate social and political environments is a natural progression of these efforts.

That this *is* conscious construction is key. Because McGillis also sets out to transform himself into the ideal Agnika Kaieru represents. Ultimately this culminates in physically altering his body so he can use Gundam Bael, but it's far more than that. He trains himself in the two-sword fighting style Agnika used, long before he's anywhere near achieving his goal. He immerses himself in Gjallarhorn's hierarchy and assists skilled, lower-class officers like Isurugi. He dispenses with his childhood sombreness in favour of an authoritative, rigorous, charismatic professional persona. All of this serves his goal of achieving absolute power, yes. It's also about shaping himself into what he thinks he should be -- the embodiment of the characteristics he attributes to Agnika.

There are a few positive aspects to this. Gaelio, operating on the assumption McGillis is a cynical back-stabber, thinks he goes to Mars to survey the mobile armour situation for personal gain. But in truth McGillis goes to ensure Hashmal doesn't awaken. It's the kind of move someone in Gjallarhorn *should* make, so he does. That he is later inspired to go after the Order of the Seven Stars as Gaelio originally imagined he intended is a reaction to things spiralling out of control and exciting him with the world's most ill-advised historical re-enactment; it's not where he comes into the situation. Likewise, he seems to have been a fairly good inspector, exposing corrupt officers like Coral and later doing due diligence on pulling the Outer Earth Orbit Regulatory Joint Fleet (oh cripes I can write than from memory) into proper fighting shape.

At the same time, it means McGillis is always dishonest with other people. He's always got an angle, is always holding something back, always tries to fit everyone into his plans, somehow. Even when he is truthful (such as saying he's admired Carta for treating him as an equal when they were kids or sharing his faith in Agnika's principles with Almiria), there are other factors to consider. His scheme to gain power inside Gjallarhorn, his need to keep things running smoothly, his obsession with being the individual who can transform the world -- these are in play right up until he is bleeding out on the floor.

It's natural, given this, to ask 'who is the true McGillis?' What really exists underneath the layers of performance? However, I think doing so is to repeat a lot of Gaelio's mistakes because, as we eventually find out, McGillis himself fails to draw a meaningful boundary between 'real' and 'fake'.

He promised Gaelio he'd take care of Almiria while in the act of killing him. It was politically prudent to maintain the engagement and he also considered Gaelio a true friend, so there's good reason to honour the promise. On top of that, Almiria is someone he appears to care greatly for, perhaps out of fellow-feeling since she is as much a pawn in others' games as he once was. Thus, her happiness becomes one of his chief goals. To this end, he accommodates her wishes to be seen as a grown-up lady (as imagined by a nine-year-old) and explains how what he is doing will benefit them both. He goes so far as to stop her from harming herself once his deception is exposed, promising that one day, she will be truly happy despite everything.

And the next time he refers to Almiria in any way -- the last time, prior to his final confrontation with Gaelio -- it is to internally chide her for being so troublesome as to leave him with a wound that negatively affects his battlefield performance. Placed alongside his earlier lines to her and the act of putting his hand in the way of the dagger she aimed at her throat, it's an *incredibly* dismissive reaction. It would be easy to read this as him having only pretended to care about Almiria all along, concealing a real disdain. Except, again -- he put his hand in the way of that dagger, without hesitation.

What's going on here?

Well, McGillis presents in whichever way he needs to in order to navigate his circumstances, saying whatever he thinks is most likely to get the outcome he wants. That's his base state for interacting with the world, as a consequence of growing up the way he did. Seeing no distinction in the veracity of happiness speaks to a very outcome-focused view on human interaction. What difference does it make if a positive reaction is prompted by sincerity or by moulding oneself into a form best suiting the other person? They're still happy. Or giving the appearance of it. That's enough, right?

We eventually see this approach fail with Tekkadan, owing to McGillis' misunderstandings about them. Towards the end of the show, stripped of material superiority, his appeals to their fighting spirit fall flat. He tries to sway them on the level he thinks they operate (pride, desire for power, strength of will) rather than the shared loyalty and familial bonds that actually drive them forward. He simply doesn't realise the things they have pursued were always a means to an end -- each other's safety -- rather than the end itself.

That failure highlights both how important it is to engage with the reality of what you're trying to manipulate (the critical distinction separating him from Rustal) and how genuine McGillis is about his stated goals. He really does want to become the all-powerful leader of Gjallarhorn and believes that will allow him to make the world better. He'd do anything to achieve it. Just like he really means to ensure Almiria's happiness, however much he needs to cover up and present differently -- or even suffer physical harm -- to do so.

That right there is the fundamental problem with how Gaelio sees him throughout Season 2. He doesn't get that McGillis' performances are not strictly falsehoods but tools used to obtain the outcome he's proclaiming to anyone who'll listen. The act may be pieced together from truth or lies or force of strength; what matters is that it *works*.

I spent my essay about Agnika focusing on McGillis' ideology. What the true/false happiness line exemplifies is his methodology or, more strictly, the survival strategy he adapted into a generalised approach. It's the Tekkadan strategy error -- applying the same methods over and over in situations where they are increasingly counter-productive -- writ on a subtler scale. A compulsive need to treat every interpersonal encounter as having a specific outcome, where the actual content, the human connection, and the emotional impact lose any significance beyond 'if X then Y'.

The kicker being that, when McGillis does have to deal with genuine emotions on their own terms, he shoves them as far away from himself as he can. Carta and Gaelio should have been his closest allies and loyalist supporters, not to mention a positive impact on his wellbeing due to, you know, actually caring about him as a person. Instead, he kills/tries to kill them, not just because their deaths serve his ambitions but because they gave him something other than his ambitions -- full stop. Something else. And he couldn't have both.

McGillis could not build himself into the perfect embodiment of individualism while keeping his friends close. He couldn't continue to persist on an outcome-focused approach with unprompted, un-targeted happiness just happening to him. From everything else about his character, I'm not sure he could ever have trusted the feelings Carta and Gaelio induced in him. Far better to construct the happiness he thought he wanted. Far safer. Far more natural, for someone under no illusions about the world's hypocrisies, or what people do in order to survive.

The tragedy is that this is an inescapable problem. McGillis was always going to chose the constructed ideal future over the reality that lay within touching distance. The damage, for that's what this is, was done long before anyone who cared was in a position to intervene. This is somebody who'd execute the people he cares for and who cannot understand his best friend crying over his dying admission of affection, any more than he can grasp why being willing to do anything to ensure a little girl's happiness isn't necessarily laudable. Where would you even begin trying to unpick that?

Which of course is exactly what makes him so effective within this story. There's a paradox at the heart of McGillis, which is part of why I've never tried to write his perspective in my fic, where he manages to be profoundly honest and chronically self-deluding, the signifiers of a manipulative bastard twisted around into . . . I don't really want to call it pathology because I think that undersells the active choice to be who he is. But we see how he got there, the trauma that went into making him, how different aspects of it meshed together, shaping him one after the other. It's not just the homelessness, or the sexual assault, or being trafficked, or being made a pawn in a political game, or fixating on a historical figure. It's all of them put together, and I think it's a fantastic bit of character work.

There simply isn't a solution. Just an inescapable arc towards disaster, and the devastation of a pair of siblings who each loved him more dearly than he could possibly conceptualise.

-----

That's more or less where I land on things, anyway. Hopefully this was mostly coherent, as rambles go? Like with everything to do with McGillis, I can never just pull one thread. The man's a living rats-nest, which I love about him but does make it difficult to be succinct!

Thank you very much for the ask, and for your kind words. I will admit to feeling a degree of 'if there's no active fandom for this show, I'll damn well do it myself' when I started writing the fic and the essays, so it delights me no end to know there are people getting a kick out of them. :)

[iam93percentstardust]

Hello friend!! Let’s make the stony fandom more vibrant! Tell me:

Favorite stony meta

Stony fic idea that you want to write but haven’t gotten to yet

Three most recent stony fics you read and why you liked them

🥰🥰🥰🥰

Henlo fren! Thanks for the ask!

Favorite stony meta

Oh god, I could talk about the dynamics between Tony, Steve, and Howard all day long. There's so much complication going on there. And I think it's a really interesting choice on the MCU's part not to write Howard and Steve as best friends. I went back and rewatched CATFA the other day, and it really struck me that Steve views Howard with a measure of awe (because of the things he creates and the fact that he seems to actually understand women where Steve doesn't) and a measure of wariness (for the same reasons), but they're not really friends. We don't see Howard spending time with the Howlies outside of strategy meetings, he's not in either of the bar scenes, and Steve never smiles around him. And on the flip side, up until Steve's death, Howard is fairly condescending towards Steve (at least towards his intelligence, given his remarks about Steve not understanding the Hydra tech). Honestly, I think that a lot of Howard's adoration for Steve came about only after Steve's death. It's easier to look up to a martyr, after all, than a living, breathing superhuman. And it would have been easy for Howard to convincingly claim that he'd admired Steve all along since he, like Tony, uses masks as easily as breathing

Stony fic idea I want to write

Ooh I've had this idea for an interactive reality show AU for literal years at this point, but I've been too intimidated to write it. The idea would be, as I said, a reality show AU with Steve and Tony as the judges, who are already in a relationship and have to deal with outside forces trying to break them up during the course of the season. The interactive part comes in with the fact that the actual reality show would be based on readers' votes. The Stevetony storyline would be pre-planned and completely independent of the reality show storyline. The reality show storyline would be written in real time, though, or as near to it as possible, and characters would be voted off as the readers vote.

As I said, I'm horribly intimidated by it. The interactive aspect makes me very, very nervous. I'm afraid to start writing it and then find out that no one is as interested in the concept as I am, so no one votes. I've had a couple times in the last few years where people claimed to be really excited to read something that I worked really hard on only to get 2-3 regular readers, and I'm just afraid for that to happen here. If it were any other fic, I'd be fine with it, but the fact that it's a fic that would rely on the readership in a time when people are more and more resentful of writers asking for interaction... Well, let's just say this fic is one that'll probably stay in the ideas folder.

Three most recent stony fics

Tomorrow We'll Be Born Again by KandiSheek: I love angsty fics where they think it's time to walk away because obviously the other one doesn't love them and it's over and their heart is breaking only to find out that no, the love is still there, they just don't know how to show it <3

In Written by naivelittleprincess: I like fics that do something clever with the formatting, and a love story written in post-it notes is right up my alley <3 It's funny and clever and super sweet. Defs recommend it for anyone who likes unusual styles

speak easy, swing hard by laiqualaurelote: Prohibition AUs, my beloved. I love 1920s fics, especially because I'll never write one of my own, and I love pre-serum Steve. I don't want to spoil the twist, but you should definitely read this one <3

[ofmermaidstories]

hello, darling mermsy!! i’m back, yet again, with another brainrot proposal for you — but this time for our blasty boy!

we’ve heard of dekules, but are we ready for bakushang? shangkugo? (basically just katsuki as li shang, i’m realising only now that there’s no easy way to merge their names together <//3) they’re both tall, dark, brooding, but are soft and caring if you get through to them deep enough. our courageous, troublemaking Y/N and the newly appointed captain of the emperor’s army, bakugo katsuki! what a perfect match!!

i believe this isn’t by any means an original idea!! i know andy has a fic about this (it’s absolutely incredible, melted my brain just three chapters in) if u haven’t already read it!!! just wanted to get your take on this if u haven’t already done one yet, bc i recently rewatched the 1998 mulan and had the lightbulb to word vomit about this to you!!!

hansy!!! my love!!! i’m sorry, i meant to slip into your inbox to wish you well/ask how your exams went—are you free from the perils of schoolwork, yet??? you’re so clever, i bet you did well. 🥺🍀

but okay let’s play, LOL. War Paint was one of the very first BNHA x Reader fics I ever read so I will always be fiercely loyal to it!!! Saying that, and I mean this with nothing but absolute love Andy, DONT @ ME, but reading War Paint gave me less Mulan vibes and more Song of the Lionness ones.

(Simplifying it—really simplifying it—a girl pretends to be her twin brother so she can train as a knight! There’s lots of magic and even some romance and Tamora Pierce has been one of my favourite authors since I was a kid!)

I think it has to do with the fact that War Paint is focused on barrack/training/castle life and the subplot with the thief—whereas when I think of Mulan, I think of war.

Mulan is one of my favourite 🅱️isney movies!!! I first saw it when my primary school had a fundraiser—they set up a projector and screened Mulan and I very distinctly remember being overwhelmingly excited as the opening credits started (I nearly choked on my red twists/twizzlers) and my Dad telling me I had to be quiet LOL. If I had to make a graphic showcasing all the fundamental pieces of media to both my personality and who I became as a person, Mulan would be centre of it. 🥹

(PSA: true to your heart is a bop and has been in my liked songs on spotty ever since i’ve had an account!)

Tbh, I’d never seriously tackle a Mulan-inspired fic just out of respect for Andie Trousers Multipled by Several, but if I did, I would absolutely play hard into the war angle LOL. Maybe even indulge in some war crimes!!! You know that scene where they finally make it to the village in the pass and it’s been burnt to the ground? Yeah. Yeah. 😌 I think we can ramp that up. Have our Reader and Captain Bakugou & Co engage in some Revenge War Crimes. People are bastards in wars already, without feeling justified about it. I was literally just watching a documentary the other week about some Aussie soldier who’s facing trial (has faced trial?) for being an absolute cunt—one of his lighter cruelties involved him shooting a family’s tied-up dog as he searched their home, so take that, take the power people feel like they have when you give them a weapon and a uniform, and then put them in front of a massacred village and see what happens next. 🔪

And idk id guess there’d be a romance in there somewhere too. 💀💀💀💀 tbh im more interested in the war tho LOL. (BECAUSE!!!! LISTEN!!! i like a challenge!!!!!!!! And I think trying to fic-ify an AU that dovetails closely to the (🅱️isney) Mulan tale brings up a lot of interesting questions when it comes to world-building, and like what you need to avoid/honour, especially if you’re borrowing from an actual, real world culture for it. The Mulan legend is Chinese, for starters—and My Hero has a Japanese cast written by a Japanese man. So, okay, maybe to simplify things for ourselves we Fantasy-AU it—but then do we eurocentric the world around them, to play it safe? Is that less playing it safe and more whitewashing? My Hero being Japanese informs the canon characters, which are traits that spill over into our fanon. Traits that we love! So is it a disservice to them to strip them of it, just so we can play War? Does this stripping make it worse when we bring in atrocities like slain villagers, and revenge acts? Do we honour canon by letting them keep their Quirks? How badly does that ramp up things then???? Like, idk, I could literally bang on about this for hours (and have, in the group chat LMAO im sorry besties 😭))

This is literally too much overthinking for your ask, Hansy, I’m sorry. 😭 ITS IMPORTANT THO. Because the world around them informs our characters!!!! So pretending we sort all that out, now we have our upstart, hot-as-shit Captain Bakugou, who has idolised General Toshinori for years now—and he’s out to prove he can train the best of them!!! Except he’s working with like, farm boys! Gutter-rats, given the choice of this or execution! Maybe there’s a cohort of like, genuine scrappers, but Captain Baku here has deliberately been given the bottom of the conscript list: this is a test. And I!! Personally!!! Think that should make him an utter bastard when dealing with our Reader!!! I think in canon, Bakugou is like, learning that people need more than to be told “u suck, do better” so I like to believe Captain Bakugou would try—maybe he and his lil friends learnt hard in a trial by fire when they were kids, during the First War—so he’s earnt this leadership role. But he’s used to fighting with peers! Peers that knew what they were doing! And now he has to oversee the training of like, the most inept civilians he’s ever witnessed! I think we could justify him losing his cool—specifically with our Reader. 😌

A Reader who doesn’t take it!!! I’ve always liked that in 🅱️isney’s Mulan, she does it for her father. So I’d give that same motivation to our Reader—a tomboy who’s always been better at giving the village boys a run for their money in their little games, who’s always wanted to go and play with them when they roughhouse. Maybe to make things more interesting, we introduce a fiancé—one of those same village boys! They grow up together, have an arranged match. Maybe he’s genuinely kind, in love with Reader whereas Reader’s just kinda like, ho-hum—but then the War pt. 2 rolls in, and he’s swept off in the first round of conscription (so that there’s no one left to volunteer in Reader’s place for her dad, in the next round!).

Oh. You know what? We could ramp up that massacred village scene by making his platoon or whatever they’re called the ones that were stationed there—so Reader finds fiancé’s helmet!!!!! And then she’s all like, omg, 😧. And then she could tie it to her saddlebags and eventually bring it home to his folks. 🥺

(Reader and Bakugou could prop themselves up in their grief, maybe? Because I know in the film the stationed army is overseen by Li Shang’s father, right? So maybe in this version it’s like, idk, Jeanist or Edgeshot or something. Maybe Endeavour? Less because I think Bakugou would be cut up about it, and more because that means we could throw Todoroki in there as well, like, presumed dead (and then he’s NOT because I know Andy would have my head if I killed off her Special Angel Man in a fic!!!), but then that means in the meantime that Bakugou can mourn one of his besties (and they are besties!!!)).

I don’t want a dumbass Bakugou, either, so I think we’d have to follow Andy’s lead and have our Captain clue in early-on that Reader has been lying about their identity. And Bakugou just admires tenacity so he’s less like omg my gendernorms are being called into question and more like FUCK why won’t this useless extra get better at FIGHTING??? That could also maybe make any romantic moments kinda interesting—Reader could have this whole internal thing of, oh my God, he doesn’t know the truth, I’m terrible, is he going to be embarrassed when he finds out??? And then you have the actual reveal—someone else making the discovery, and wanting Reader executed for it, and then Bakugou’s refusal to do so is less a begrudging “you saved my life, and now my debt is paid” and more a silent confession of his feelings!!!!

I just—there’s so much you could do!! There’s so much you could do with all of that!!! Urk!!!! I wanna rip into it with my TEETH. I just—aJFDLKSFJLKSDFJLdmfhfskdmhj.

[benoitblanc]

for the sleepover, tell me what you're writing about and your favorite line so far if you have one! ✨

okay this kind of has three answers so i'll answer all of them! i always love talking about my writing projects (derogatory and affectionate) :)

original project: i am still dragging my feet with my crime show, which i have made little to no progress on in the past like two years, rip. you might have seen me talking about it before but tldr the very basic premise is that it's about a group of petty grifters who accidentally pull a con on the mob and get roped into this massive imbroglio of crime lords and long-seated feuds in the parisian criminal underworld. i unfortunately am STILL outlining, and the two scenes i do have written are in script format anyway, so i'm not going to post a favorite line

x-files university au: this has sort of replaced my peggysous time loop fic as my big fic project right now, which is really a shame because i am literally a loop and a half away from being done with the time loop fic so i should really get back to it so i can PUBLISH THE GODDAMN THING. sigh. i hate plot bunnies. this one is especially annoying because it's pretty much a rehashing of the mytharc episodes from season 1 (with a little futzing around with the timeline + m&s are uni students + doggett and reyes are also there), which means i kind of need to rewatch them... but i am only 2.5 seasons into watching this show for the first time. (sort of. as you'll see with the next project i've sort of been skipping around a little. don't worry about it.) however, i am kind of obsessed with my weird little college agents and their weird little project for investigative journalism 401, so we keep chugging away at it. i'm putting my favorite scene from it thus far under the cut below, plus a bonus line specifically for you :)

x-files uhhhhhhhh: i literally do not know what to say about this one without giving things away, but i will try: it's a season 5 au that deals with grief, devotion, and codependency with a hint of psychological thriller mixed in just for shits and giggles. i also read the recipe wrong and added a full cup of angst instead of a teaspoon, whoops. i know this means nothing to you because you don't even watch this show but for those of my followers who do i don't even think i can say what characters are in this without spoiling things. as such i am not going to post a line from this one either

sleepover asks!!!

(and read on for some snippets from my txf wip!)

my favorite section from the txf university fic (bonus points if you catch the non-txf reference):

“Or how ’bout this: happy family of seven moves into this huge big house in Massachusetts last year hoping to flip and resell it, and within a month, there’s a kid dead of cyanide poisoning and the mom took a one-way trip off the top of the staircase.”

“That’s a horrible tragedy,” Scully starts, “but-”

He slaps the newspaper on the table. (“Do you just carry that around?” John asks.) “The dad went to every publication that would listen claiming the house was haunted.”

John is rubbing his temples, and Scully mutters something that sounds suspiciously like ay yi yi. Monica, however, is nodding thoughtfully along. Mulder might kiss her, if a. he weren’t dead certain she’s a lesbian and b. he hadn’t recently come to the realization, completely unprompted by any real-life events, that he’s more partial to redheads.

and a bonus completely out of context line for mitali!

“Because Han Solo is a slut, that’s why. Open the button.”

[16woodsequ]

I have three questions about writing fanfiction and you’re the best fanfic writer I’ve seen so I’m going to ask them to you if that‘s alright

1. How do you write a lot in chapters, because I never manage to write more than 1k words about the chapter topic

2. How do you stay motivated for writing a long fic?

3. Do you have any tips about how to deal with a large ensemble of characters?

First of all, I'd like to say how happy and honoured I am for this ask! It made me so happy you thought of me. I'll do my best to answer helpfully.

My response ended up being pretty long, to I'll leave it under the cut.

1.

In general, my chapters are between 3k to 6k. I find 4k-5k is a good range for me. Before I talk about writing more in chapters, I think it is important to say that short chapters are not wrong. Short chapters can be wonderful to read!

If you want to work on writing more, I have a few suggestions. First though, the way my writing style works is I go into a story generally knowing the basic plot points, and I write all the chapters first, before I post them. So keep this in mind, since my techniques might need to be adapted for your style.

When starting a chapter, I have what I call the 'bone and meat' method. To write around 5k words, I find each chapter has enough room to explore 3-5 "events". These are the bones of a chapter.

As an example. I will use chapter five of "Alternatively", because I'm guessing you read that one. (If not you can send another ask with some you've read and I can use those).

The bones of this chapter are:

Prelude/set up to Steve learning about Bucky.

Pierce taking Steve to see Bucky

Steve having a breakdown in the elevator

Steve and Tony talking about it

These are the four main things that needed to happen in this chapter. I don't always start a chapter knowing what will happen at the end, but usually by 500 words in, I've figured out what out of my plot points will be happening in the next 5k of words.

When deciding what will be the bones of a chapter, I find I have two systems. Either I give the reader a satisfying cathartic ending, or I leave them in anticipation.

Chapter five is a good example of a mini-arc within a chapter that ends with a satisfying emotional catharsis. If you think of it along a story plotting graph, the prelude is the exposition, Pierce taking Steve to Bucky is the conflict/rising action, Steve's breakdown is the emotional climax of the chapter, and Tony and Steve's conversation is the falling action/resolution.

The ending event of the chapter feels natural, because while the story isn't finished, the emotions and events of the chapter have been tied together and dealt with for the time being.

An anticipatory ending for a chapter would be more like a cliffhanger, and would probably end near the climax of whatever plot points are happening. (Such as chapter 3 of Alternatively, the emotional climax of the chapter hits right at the end.)

So basically, your overall story has rising action and a climax, but if each chapter is roughly outfitted around that too, then it may be easier to write long chapters.

Once you have the bones of a chapter, all you need to do is add in the meat to fill out whatever word count you are aiming for. If you have written the bones of a chapter, but still aren't at a word count you like, then it is simply a case of adding more depth to what is already happening—showing the emotions of the characters, getting into their head, bringing up past events and relating them to what is currently happening, foreshadowing, describing the scene/senses, etc.

Please know that when I'm writing my chapters, I'm not obsessively planning out the steps of a chapter and thinking of all these things constantly. These are just patterns I've noticed after the fact, so they are not hard and fast rules.

2.

As for how I stay motivated for long stories, the thing that works best for me is writing all the chapters before I post the story. I know this system doesn't work for every author (and believe me, sometimes I really want to post), but I find doing so relieves pressure on me, and I don't feel guilty if I don't write a story for weeks or months because I am working on something else.

That being said, for my large Alternate Timeline series, I didn't have time to write all the chapters ahead of time. By the time I was writing The Alternate Handler, I had about a 10 chapter lead.

Things that helped me stay motivated is finding parts of the story that I really wanted to write. I usually write chronologically, so having moments that I knew where coming and I was excited for helped motivate me to continue.

Also, recognising that I sometimes made things harder for myself. Sometimes I'd be stuck on how to finish a scene, or expressing something, and my writing would slow, until I would realise that sometimes things don't need to be written in exact detail. If you don't know how to get a character to walk out of a room, sometimes you can just end the scene there. Unless something is plot relevant, you can write around it, if it is an issue.

Sometimes, if I'm stuck on a story or a chapter, it helps to take a step back and figure out what the actual blockage is. Often it won't be what I think it is. Sometimes it isn't because I don't know how to write it, or I don't know what to write—sometimes I can't write a scene because I haven't seen the movie in a while, and all I need to do is find the battle on youtube and rewatch it. Sometimes it is because I don't know how an engine works, and I need to either look up the information, or make a note of it and move on to another scene.

And sometimes you just gotta clunk out a scene word after word, because once you do, it will be done, and you can always make it better later. You can't edit what isn't written.

3.

Writing Marvel gives me plenty of opportunity to deal with large casts. Generally what happens is I end up focusing on the relationship between a few main characters, while the other characters have less focus.

In my Alternative Timeline series, the relationships between Steve, Bucky, and Tony are the focus.

Of course, this doesn't mean I want to forget about the other members. You'll notice especially in Bucky and Tony's stories that they have secondary relationships with other people like Natasha, Bruce, Clint, Pepper, Peter, and Nebula. These secondary characters get scenes with the main characters too, kind of on a rotational basis.

So first tip is to trim down how many characters you are focusing on, and how many characters are interacting with each other in each scene.

In fics I will often have Thor be away on Asgard, or Clint and Natasha doing missions, etc, so they don't get underfoot.

That being said, there are times like during group meetings, when you can't avoid having everyone in the same room.

In those times, it is important not to forget who is in the room. I will literally count on my fingers, or write down lists of who is supposed to be at the table, so I can remember.

A good example of this on a small scale is Steve's birthday party in chapter 14 of The Alternate Handler. That one has almost every Avenger but Thor sitting in a circle, playing a game. I had specific moments in mind, so I needed to remember who was sitting by who. I wrote down the names in order so I wouldn't forget, and could properly situate people in my head.

An example on a bigger scale is chapter 26 of The Alternate End. In this chapter, the Avengers have a meeting with practically every other character who was there at the final battle.

Yet again, I pare down the cast a little. T'Challa and Shuri aren't there because they are in Wakanda.

To help keep control of the larger group, I start with a vague idea of where everyone is sitting, and then don't go into deeper detail than I have to.

In the scene, we know the Guardians, Peter, and Thor and Loki are all sitting kind of near each other, but I don't specify who is sitting next to who unless I need to.

I also have Tony looking around the table for a few hundred words, seeing each group, and slowly but surely introducing them to the reader. Tony hasn't seen the whole group for a while, so he has a reason to catch the reader up to speed on what has been happening. While he thinks about the life developments of the people around him, the reader starts to get an idea of who is in the room, and their general mood.

A final tip I often use is staggered entrances. If you have a large group, and something Plot Worthy needs to happen when Character A and B talk, then don't have the meeting ready to start right away.

Have some people already sitting, so that your POV character can process them, then have some more people come in, and then some more. (I do this in chapter 19 of The Alternate End, before the time travel jump.)

With a big group, you need time to show what needs to be shown, so give yourself the space to breathe and give the characters the right amount of attention.

I hope these tips and notes were helpful. Feel free to come back with more questions, or details about your own writing style if what I said doesn't work nicely for you!

And remember, these are just tips, not the golden rule.

Have a great day!

[seriouslysam8]

For the ask game, would you please answer questions numbered 2, 8, 14 (all of your titles have such cool names), 18 (I hope Abditory isn't one of them as that story rocks), 21, 24, 29, 30, 33, 34, 44, 51, 62, 76, 82, 85, 88, 90, and 98.

Sorry for asking so many, but I love your work! Entombed gave me so many feels! I found your stories because author Breanie said to read them in her author's notes. Best rec ever! Thank you for answering.

Wow, that is a lot of asks! Thank you so much for wanting to know so much about little ole me. I think I hit them all in this and my apologies if I missed one. Let me know if I missed one. @breaniebree is awesome and my writing BFF. She is amazing, and I love her.

2) What fandoms do you write for and do you have a particular favourite if you write for more than one?

So, I’ve written for The X-Files, Supernatural, and Harry Potter. I currently only write for Harry Potter. I would say Harry Potter has always been the most fun.

8) Where do you take your inspiration from?

Random shit. Brontide came to me because I was browsing the HPFanfiction subreddit looking for a story suggestion and someone asked for a story where Harry was addicted to Felix. Only one unfinished dimensional time travel story was listed. It idea sparked me to write my own version. Entombed came to me because I was rewatching Buffy the Vampire Slayer where Buffy was buried alive. I knew I wanted to bury Ginny alive. As I stated in the author’s notes of last Kalopsia chapter, I drew inspiration from the Djinn storyline in Supernatural. I write about things I know, too. I have young kids at home so I like writing the Potter children as young because I can mimic their mannerisms in my writing. I’ve even asked my kids to say certain words to emulate their speech pattern in my writing if I’m writing that age group.

14) How did you come up with the title for the XXX? You can ask about multiple stories.

I HATE coming up with titles. My newest trend has been to literally Google “unique words”. There are a ton of Pinterest accounts who make fancy word and definition pictures. I scroll through all these little unique words and pick out ones I think fit a story. Sometimes I Google a unique word for BLANK and see if I can get a cool version of that name. @breaniebree actually helped me with Entombed.

18) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

Sadly, I would put Abditory in this category. Never say never though. I think about it from time to time. Honestly, I abandoned it due to such a negative response I was receiving and the lack of positive response. I became discouraged. It wasn’t even negative response due to my writing, it was literally a bunch of “why would you waste your time writing a story about the biggest plot hole in the books? JKR butchered the whole SK storyline and it’s unbearable to read.” So, basically, my reviews and PMs were filled with JKR hate over that plot point in the books. They heavily outweighed the positive reviews I received. Honestly, I think that’s why a bulk of stories get abandoned - lack of positive reviews or enthusiasm for a story. If I didn’t get so many great reviews for my stories, I don’t know if I’d be able to finish them or continuing writing new ones. Fanfiction is free, (as it should be) but it’s a lot of time and hard work. A little appreciation goes a LONG way. So, my advice, review everything you love reading and encourage writers to keep writing. I always say in my authors notes that reviews make me want to write and inspire me. That’s the truth. The moment I stop getting reviews will probably be the time I take a writing break again.

21) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

@breaniebree. I mean she’s dedicated years to a single story with so many plot lines and characters that I’m amazed she did it. She’s a fantastic writer, and I definitely consider her my writing BFF. I feel like I’ve learned a lot from her and enjoy talking about writing with her so much. I’m so glad we’ve become friends.

24) How do you feel about writing smutty scenes?

Horrified. Anytime I get a little steamy in my stories, it goes immediately to @breaniebree who usually adds way too much smut and then I cut it down to still be somewhat PG-13 in order to appeal to a wider audience.

29) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?

I feel like Kalopsia isn’t getting as much love as my other stories. I’m way behind in my normal review count per chapter. I wonder if it’s just the confusing storyline or if it’s just not as fun to read? But I was definitely worried it wouldn’t get the love I thought it deserved when I started writing it and it’s lived up to that expectation.

30) In contrast to 29, is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at?

Cronus Rising. People still recommend it occasionally and I still get random reviews. I’m like, “why????” Its horribly written and a stupid plot line. I literally was getting back into writing after not writing for a good five years, so it’s abysmal. I’ve often wanted to rage delete it.

33) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?

When someone tells me I should write an original novel and they’d buy the hell out of it. I do have some original novel ideas floating around (one I’ve been writing since I was like 15), but crippling fear of rejection from publishers have stopped me from ever actually finish an original novel.

34) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?

I got some criticism in Brontide for having drama for drama’s sake with no real purpose or goal for said drama. I felt my drama served a purpose, drove the story along, and I add a lot of fluffy and cute family moments. I feel like in real life, when you to your loved one is going through sometime, it feels like nonstop drama and bad news and like a dark cloud just follows you. I wanted to emulate that in real life. So Harry’s POV was often drab because HE was the one going through something horrific and it was all doom and gloom for him.

44) What is the last line you wrote?

“You never think I listen to your ramblings, but it’s kind of hard to block out, mate.”

51) From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)

Um... I’d say a 3. I think I have some good and unique plots for stories but sometimes I struggle on how to execute those on paper effectively. I struggle with descriptions, action, and showing rather than telling. But I do think I’m good at dialogue and capturing a character’s personality. So, 3.

62) Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about.

A lot! I have a Teddy/Victoire stalker story in the works that I’m excited about. I have (this is going to sound weird) but an outsider rom-com planned where Ron/Hermione breakup right before Hinny’s wedding and Hinny struggles to get them back together before the big day. I have a Potter family vacation fluff/comedy story planned. I have a game night one-shot planned. I have a short story about Luna’s wedding. So many that I want to write and don’t know which one to write first!!

76) Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try?

I’d say no. I’ve always tried to write my ideas down. Some I’ve never finished because inspiration peters off and some I plan on finishing once my newest big project is done.

82) Summarize a random fic of yours in 10 words or less.

Harry goes through some shit, and Ginny is his soulmate.

85) Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

I don’t understand why people don’t ship Harry/Ginny more. I don’t understand the Harry/Daphne obsessions (like just why???) or the Harry/Hermione ship at all. I always see people asking for story recommendation and they specific say “no Harry/Ginny”. They are literally perfect for one another and they are soulmates.

88) If you could ask one other fanfic author three questions about their writing, writing process, or works, what would they be and who would you ask?

@breaniebree .

1.) How do you organize all your charts? Send me the ALL the charts. Because I don’t understand how you keep everything straight!

2.) How do you write so much? You’re like a little writing machine in a cute little package.

3.) Where do all the ideas come from? In a dream? Just thinking? Driving? Do you write everything out in your head like meeee? Can I have some of your writing mojo?

90) How do you process and deal with negative reviews?

I obsess over them. I analyze them. I may get bummed out and not write for a few days. If you don’t like what I write, then don’t read or review. It’s a hobby. I do this for free. I’m not asking you to critique me. Give me a nice review or ask me a question, but don’t be cruel or mean because you can hide behind a keyboard and be a bully to make yourself feel superior.

98) If you had to give up either snacks and drinks during writing sessions, or music, which would you find more difficult to say goodbye to and why?

Music. I grew up with three older brothers. My house was always rowdy and loud and obnoxious. I need it to be loud. I can’t stand the silence or focus when it’s silent. I need music to help me think and write. When I’m home alone, I always turn on the TV or music, because I can’t stand when it’s silent. I think I’d go insane.

[olivieblake]

KSIGJICNRJCNEHCBD HELLO HELLO WELCOME TO THE HELL THAT IS KNOWING ZUTARA IS EVERYTHING AND SHOULD HAVE BEEN WRITTEN AS SUCH !!!! wow i love that you are as angry as i was (and am every rewatch? yikes) this is amazing i knew you're my favorite but yeah wow man this really. confirms it whew high five

yeah it’s pretty wild how I knew this was what happened and was already bracing for it and yet STILL got completely misled by the narrative??? MEN I tell you MEN. I’m also going to use this ask as a method to reply to some of the other commentary if you don’t mind since this seems like a good place for communal frustration (here is my original post for anyone scrolling around lost)

@meg-hemmings: I agree with all of ur thoughts and I would TOTALLY read anything you wrote for Zutara … your writing is among my absolute favorite ever and I think you would write the Zutara dynamic so beautifully!

@one-man-propaganda-machine: I am - begging - you to write it yourself.

I... am not going to make promises, but I may have to. I want something very specific and that never bodes well for me. I doubt it would be more than a one-shot, but there are multiple scenes that could have occurred between episodes that would flesh out what was there (and of course I’d cut the final 15 seconds of the show, much like another epilogue I loathe and ignore)

@deifiliaa: omg atla discourse in 2021; olivie, i’d love to see what your character tier list looks like now that you’ve finished the series 👀

I’m going to put azula at the top. not because she’s a good person obviously but she’s FULL. OF. HITS. every time she’s on the screen the narrative gets immediately more interesting. she’s savvy and self-assured and I love it. her ending depressed me although I like that it was kind of about the loss of her two best friends? if that had been more of a focus I think I would have enjoyed it more but yeah, losing mai and ty lee could have been rightfully devastating. who among us is not totally obliterated by friend breakups. I also really loved uncle iroh; if anything that’s why I wasn’t invested in zuko’s storyline until close to the end, because watching him disappoint his uncle was very difficult (I get it, he’s a teenager, he’s growing and evolving and whatnot, but also I am closer to being his uncle than to being him so like, yeah). I also hope the peter pan revenge guy (JET that’s his name, sorry pregnancy kills my brain cells) did hook up with both katara and zuko. I love that journey for all three of them. I wanted more time with mai than we got, so there wasn’t quite enough there to love... but I was very down with ty lee interfering on her behalf. what a pivotal moment

of the core characters I think I was quickest to love sokka; the episode where he apologizes to suki and asks her to train him cemented it for me. I think it’s a big deal to show boys apologizing on-screen and owning their misconceptions. I like katara a lot—she’s what a lot of people do with fanon hermione. toph is also great, and part of me feels there is a strong basis for a ship with aang that balances their opposing energy, though I also like the idea of them being platonic besties. aang is... twelve. pretty much every time he was on the screen mr blake (a teacher) was like “man, aang is such a seventh grader,” so it was nice how convincing that was for his emotional journey, but at the same time it was hard to forget he was in seventh grade. appa and momo are STARS. I am sure I have mentioned this before but mr blake really loves animals and he was devastated by appa’s kidnapping; he hugged our dog for about ten minutes after aang found appa. after he decided I was zuko, he speculated that he is closest to aang but he’s not happy about it lol. “ugh, aang and I are such boring pacifists” was I believe his take on the subject

@libbynico, who for some reason I can’t tag: so true! katara was literally something like a mother/older sister figure to aang the entire time, but whatever

yeah, I think it really sucks that katara, as the emotionally nurturing character, felt shoved into the role of love interest. it’s everything wrong with the distribution of emotional labor in male-female relationships but sure, WHATEVER, apparently nobody thought to ask me in 2008

@touslesnoms: I liked “such selfish prayers” by andromeda3116 if you ever decide to read zutara after the series; the worst prisoner by emletish is super funny too

thanks for the recs! I will take them. I do want something very specific so I will be accepting recs until I find it lol. or until I lose composure and write it (yeah this is me WITH my composure, no wonder mr blake thinks I’m zuko, “I’m never happy” indeed)

@gaeleria: THANK YOU!!! Ugh omg that “I’m confused” kiss scene made me actively hate the ending. I knew ahead of time they were endgame, so I tried to make myself accept it early on. Like, I really didn’t like the pairing, but I wasn’t going to be emotionally invested in the romance and it was just going to be like, whatevs. AND THEN THEY WROTE THAT SCENE??! 1000% no. What was even the point of that scene? If they had written it to make Aang have some introspection and realize it’s not all about him, Katara’s feelings matter too, or even apologize, or anything… but no, there was literally no point to that scene. No character growth, it was never mentioned again. Ugh.

this is in answer to both you and beloved @zabbini: yeah this was a fuck-up for sure lol. I think it may come down to editing for time; the series is very irregularly paced, what with the majority of the action taking place in the final three episodes of a 16 episode season. or maybe it’s just because MEN CAN’T BE TRUSTED TO WRITE ROMANCE but either way yeah this was a real misstep and just truly, truly reeked of a particular (white) male attitude about how women think and what they owe. had a bad day, dudes? buy a gun, kiss your forever girl, do whatever you want and it’s fine! (I’m exaggerating but barely)

in terms of what’s so angering for me: a character like katara who previously had tons of agency was robbed of it when it came to her romantic arc, which is just really upsetting. and to be fair, I was equally upset when zuko instantly agreed to the agni kai with azula because it was like okay well katara’s extremely valuable, as you know, but now you want her to just sit on the sidelines...? (more of a story flaw than a relationship flaw, but my chest sunk a little at the idea that katara was going to sit by and watch as an accessory to zuko’s story when she’s a crucial weapon in their collective fight. what a waste, right?) 

it’s also especially hard to buy into the aang thing when zuko’s method of problem-solving on katara’s behalf is there for comparison. he asks her what she needs in order to find closure and then from there, does everything necessary to get it without having to be asked twice. versus aang, who is a twelve-year-old pair of rogue lips who never wins any of his fights without the aid of phenomenal cosmic powers...? ugh I’m getting off track but in the end there’s just a complete lack of understanding what female audiences want, though again, I don’t think they were really considering that at all. which I guess is... fair, it’s not the point of the show, but then why make the ending romantic at all? to show that their brand of hero gets everything he wants, I guess

in conclusion in 2008 I’m not sure the industry was capable of doing better, which sucks but isn’t surprising. still, it does fit the components of “stuff I write fics for,” which is I enjoyed most of it but find myself enraged by slivers I compulsively need to fix—WHICH IS STILL NOT A PROMISE but ugh I can already feel myself giving in 

[tomhardysteeth]

u wanna say anything for spn ending? Today's their last day of filming

Yeah sure! I love how you worded this ask, it makes me want to give a very serious answer. I’ve been rewatching random episodes the past few days and thinking about how much of my life was shaped by this random lil tv show, both positively and negatively, so here we go. 

I started watching Supernatural during my junior year of college, when I was grappling with being gay and religious, and had a pseudo-girlfriend who was emotionally abusive. I remember I started watching the show because I had been on tumblr for a while and thought, well this is a popular show on tumblr and looks like something I’d enjoy, so I might as well try it. I remember barely paying attention to the first season and thinking it was kind of silly, and I distinctly remember making fun of it right up until the season 1 finale when that truck slammed into the Impala and I said oh.

I remember sitting in the dining hall between classes, hiding in a corner with my pink headphones and my laptop, watching one episode after the other, completely consumed by it. My personal life was a mess at the time and I was angry and sad and frustrated, but I could forget about everything for a little while when I watched spn. I remember falling in love with Dean Winchester, season 3, when Sam gave him the amulet. 

Because I had already spent a lot of time on tumblr, I knew about Castiel. I couldn’t wait to get to season 4, the anticipation killed me. I didn’t really have a choice in shipping destiel, I literally shipped it before I even watched a single episode of the show lol. My first time watching seasons 4 and 5, I remember how mad I would feel every time the opening credits scrolled at the bottom of the screen and Misha Collins wasn’t listed. I cared about almost nothing but Dean and Cas interacting with each other. I was totally enamored by them, by their potential. At some point I got over that and watched the show because I liked the show, but boy did my heart and brain break for destiel. 

I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. I started coming out to more people, including people involved in the Christian campus ministry I was heavily involved in, and it was very very hard. It was 2013. The first episode of Supernatural I watched live was the episode where Dean turns into a fucking dog. 

I don’t remember when I started reading fanfic, and I had no idea how to read fanfic. A friend invited me to ao3, what is ao3? I didn’t know. I used my email address as my username. I read Twist and Shout and Pie Without Plot and other very popular fics that I knew about because everybody knew about them. I vividly remember the first fics I read because I was 21 years old and had never had an orgasm in my life and believed sex was sinful and so when the sex scenes in fics turned me on, I felt guilty about it. 

I quickly got over that and started writing explicit destiel fanfic. 

I still had no idea what I was doing. I know the very first fic I ever wrote was a mess, I’ve completely erased all traces of it, but other than that I began posting with abandon. Pretty much everything I’ve ever written for spn is still on tumblr and/or ao3. I was running a Hannibal blog at the time and started posting more Supernatural content than Hannibal content, so I created a sideblog, @deancasheadcanons​, and things very quickly got out of hand after that.

I was depressed, I was confused, I was spending my last couple years of college trying to figure out my sexuality, trying to hold onto a religion that was rejecting who I was becoming, trying to find my identity while picking a career path and being sad and being pulled in a hundred different directions. Sometimes I was working three jobs at once, on top of 17-credit-hour semesters. I was getting a degree in a field I did not care about, and I spent every class reading and writing fanfic, scrolling through tumblr, making internet friends, letting my life be consumed by Supernatural. I projected myself completely onto Dean Winchester and partially onto Castiel and did not even realize it. 

I started dressing like Dean, and my sister and brother-in-law noticed and assumed I was gay. They were extremely unsubtle in their attempts at getting me to come out by pointing out the flannel and army jackets, and I did not have it in me to admit to them that I was dressing like a fictional character, but I DID tell them I was bisexual. 

I went to therapy every week during my senior year of college, and I was embarrassed about how often I talked about my “internet life,” as I called it. I remember having the arbitrary goal of getting 1,000 kudos on a fanfic, and I remember the day it happened for the first time and I remember going to therapy that week and saying that I didn’t feel any different, that I thought getting attention for my writing would make me feel better, somehow, but I still felt the same, and my therapist asked me if I would still be writing if I was the only one who got anything out of it and I said yes. But I was still obsessed with writing things that were meaningful, and despite the fact that I would receive 10 negative/mean anons per day, I never turned anon off because I desperately wanted people to tell me that my writing meant something to them, that it mattered to them. I was fighting with myself every day over my sexuality and my identity and my purpose, and I put all of that on the shoulders of Dean and Cas. 

There was also chubby!dean. I had lived my entire life with this inexplicable thing, this shame that I knew I could not share, that I knew I would just have to suffer with for my whole life, and then I joined the spn fandom and found that there were others like me, others that had a fetish and had similar experiences as I did and were drawn to Dean Winchester because there’s no other character that could make eating and gaining weight be as enticing as he makes it (in fanfic). For the first time in my life I had a community of people that I could relate to about a thing that I never thought I would ever be able to talk about with anyone in my life. I don’t remember if I consciously chose to start posting publicly about it, but at some point I did, and I started writing kink fic, but I was still so uncomfortable with myself and so scared of the things I felt, and I tried so hard to temper myself and not offend anyone and not go “too far” and not be too weird and I was so sexually repressed and pent up and full of guilt and shame, and so now when I go back and reread some of the stuff I wrote it feels like reopening an old wound and letting myself bleed out. 

I was constantly comparing myself to others and wondering why I wasn’t getting as much attention as so-and-so, and I always made excuses about how maybe my writing was too weird and I was too much and maybe I just wasn’t good enough and I hated myself and wanted to delete everything I ever wrote, but also I’m awesome and receive a lot of attention and get a lot of good feedback but maybe that means I’m just a narcissist! I acted like an asshole online and justified it by saying it wasn’t really me, that I could be someone totally different on tumblr than the person I was in “real life,” but in hindsight, now when I think back on my early 20s, I cannot separate what I was doing in “real life” from what I was doing in the spn fandom. I shared so much of myself with the spn fandom without even recognizing that that’s what I was doing. 

And I made mistakes, god I made mistakes, and I tried to be so careful about everything I said but I was also presenting a certain version of myself to the spn fandom so that people would like me (for instance: running a destiel blog and trying my best to hide the fact that I also ship wincest) and still I got in trouble constantly, and I grew bitter and mean because you can only receive the “when are you posting the next chapter?” comment so many times before you want to bang your head into a wall. I became defensive and unkind, afraid to check my inbox because it was a nightmare, and yet unable to turn off anon because, like I said, I desperately needed that feedback, I needed people to tell me that they felt what I felt, that they understood what I was writing and why I was writing it.

I expected Supernatural to give me everything I needed. I fantasized about Dean Winchester being canonically bisexual because I thought it would confirm something in me, that it would somehow make my life a little bit easier. I didn’t want to watch other shows that could maybe help me, I wanted Supernatural to do things for me that it had never promised and would never deliver, and it’s because I was defined by it for so many years. Now that I’m back on tumblr, I’ve been going back through some of my old posts on deancasheadcanons and it’s like reading a stranger’s words. Even so, I find myself telling people “I was deancasheadcanons” instead of “I ran a sideblog called deancasheadcanons” because it really was such a huge part of my identity. What’s wild is that every time I’ve tried to explain it to someone in real life, they just look at me like I’m not making any sense. 

It was easy to stop watching Supernatural. I didn’t have cable, and I had been driving to my dad and stepmom’s house each week and watching it on their tv after they had gone to bed. I was in a new relationship with a woman I nearly married, I was back in school for a new career, I was working full time and absolutely did not have time to continue writing fanfic as prolifically as I had done for so many years. I finally reached a breaking point in 2017 and haven’t watched any new episodes since then (I don’t remember the last episode I saw). But now, as I rewatch some old episodes, it is easy to feel the way I felt the first time I watched the show. It’s easy to see why this campy little heartfelt show was a lifeline during my formative adult years.

So it turns out I have never reckoned with any of this, have never written it down, hence the 2k jumble of words you see here. And it’s like, I know that a lot of this may seem silly, trivial, especially for a show that in itself is not very serious, but as it comes to an end I have to reflect on it as a person who put so much of my heart, my creativity, my pain and my floundering identity into it. I am somewhat embarrassed and wish I could respond to this ask with a joke instead, but we’re in a pandemic and I live alone and have had way too much time to think and reflect and become a lot more self-aware, and part of that reflection has definitely been about my time in the spn fandom. I remember thinking the show was never going to end, yet here we are at the end and I felt compelled to type all this out with a desire to, I don’t know, get some closure? Convince myself that I was a whole person, that I wasn’t just a faceless URL posting destiel fics into the void, that my real life was not at all disparate from the time I spent online? In any case, I’ll always think fondly of the time I devoted to Supernatural, and I’ll take the good and the bad and everything in between. Thanks for the nice ask, anon, apparently I needed to get some things off my chest.  

[you-cant-spell-subtext-without]

Hola Mishamigos! It’s Friday and I am here with more nonsense from my SPN rewatch - dudes, we are all SLEEPING on Season 11, in both good and bad ways.  There is so much in just the first trifecta of “Out of the Darkness, Into the Fire;” “Form and Void;” and “Bad Seed” (since “Baby” deserves her own analysis) -  so come relive my rewatch with me.  This is a summary of some things that stood out for me (few are analysis, most are clowning; basically this is a pared down live tweet - you’re welcome/I'm sorry); copy/paste from the script is included with my own emphasis:

OUT OF THE DARKNESS INTO THE FIRE [11x01]

-There’s lots more to this episode, but really this is the most important and relevant part (also it’s too soon and I am offended, damaged, attacked and hurt) -

DEAN: Yeah, whoa. All right, take -- take it easy, okay?  (gesturing to the deputy’s wound) Bad guys?

JENNA: Rebar. I sought cover. I fell.

***LIKE EXCUSE ME, but what in the actual fuck.  Did they just decide to pull that from the episode four years later to emotionally traumatize us in the subsequent rewatches? I know it’s probably coincidence but my sad soul has not recovered *enough* for rebar’s first SPN appearance to be right now in this moment when I am blissfully 5 entire seasons away from the dead end in the road.

- The only other important part of this episode - when Dean takes the call from Cas privately first before putting it on speaker for Sam, and something about this exchange is so endearing-

(Dean’s phone rings) 

DEAN: Where the hell are you, Cas?

(The scene flips between Sam and Dean at the hospital, and Castiel in the woods.)

CASTIEL: I'm...I'm okay.

DEAN: You don't sound okay.

CASTIEL: Dean, I am fine. Besides, what I have, you can't help me.

DEAN: What do you mean, what you have?

CASTIEL: Just please tell Sam -- Rowena escaped with the Book of the Damned and the codex.

DEAN: Okay, forget Rowena. Where are you?

CASTIEL: Now, you tell me -- the Mark . . .

DEAN: Oh, really? You're worried about me after everything that I’ve --

CASTIEL: Dean, is it gone?

DEAN: Yes. I'm good. I mean, I'm not great.

CASTIEL: Makes two of us.  (Dean puts Cas on speakerphone) This is good news.

SAM: Hey, Cas.

CASTIEL: Sam.

***It’s just so poignant that Dean wanted privacy for the first minutes of that call, probably because he is still haunted about the beating he gave Cas in 10 and *other things,* and Cas is literally being torn apart by Rowena’s curse but he only cares about Dean getting rid of the Mark, and the world is ending but Dean only cares about Cas and where he is -  honestly this scene - I’m - 

***Further thoughts on the Animal Curse/Cas/Dean below under 11x03

FORM AND VOID [11x02]

(love the Genesis call back to this verse in the title - “And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep.”)

-speaking of emotional trauma, this fucking shit again -

JENNA: Yeah. I pretty much grew up here. Learned to ride my bike down the road. Had my first kiss at that blue house over there. Lost my virginity up there (pointing to different house).

DEAN: I'll bet blue house was pissed.

JENNA: She was. (handing Amara to Dean) Do you mind?

***This frustrated/disappointed/angered/saddened me to NO END despite already knowing that it happens constantly on the show, because what was the reason?! Did they have to point out that she had a female love interest for this brief moment just to turn her evil and kill her off?  There was no need to include this detail.  It’s either blatant homophobia or willful ignorance (so also blatant homophobia) that this is what representation means.  I won’t go on because obviously we are aware of this and much has already been said/written about it, but still, fuck this.

-we meet Billie and there is more “FORESHADOWING”-

QUEEN IS SINGING “OH DEATH” aka Death’s entrance song from Season 5 and I am BLOWN AWAY by this almost as much as her amazing voice - like did they know at this point she would become the new Death season later? DID THEY KNOW? I need answers.

Seriously, go listen to it immediately; bask in its glory:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFOm5i6b56o

We also get our first mention of the Empty, so that’s cute that they referenced both Dean’s and Cas’s Season 15 ‘demises’ in the same episode (it’s not cute really and I am crying again now) ->

BILLIE: You and Dean . . . Dying and coming back again and again. The old death thought it was funny. But now there's one hard, fast rule in this universe. What lives . . . dies. So the next time you or your brother bite it, well, you're not going to Heaven . . . Or Hell. One of us -- and, Lord, I hope it's me -- we're gonna make a mistake and toss you out into the Empty. And nothing comes back from that. I know you're dying. I can feel it. You're unclean in the biblical sense. So I'll be seeing you again, Sam . . . Seeing you real soon. Name's Billie, by the way.

-another reason for me to continue denying the flaming trash heap that they tried to call the series finale-

Sam is dying here because he has been infected by the Darkness-vein-animal-exploding-people-plague so he goes to pray about it 

SAM: So . . . I know it's been a long time, but . . . Dean and I, we've -- we've been through a lot of bad. But this is different. This is my fault, and I don't know how to fix it. And if I have to die, I've made my peace with that, but . . . Please. Dean deserves better. Dean deserves a life. There are people out there, good people, who are going to suffer because of me, and I am not asking you to clean up my mess. Hell, I don't even know if you're out there, but . . . If you are . . . And if you can hear me, I, um . . . We need your help, God. We need to know there's hope. We need a sign.

**DABB WROTE THIS F-ING EPISODE.  How are you going to write Dean deserves a life here to just do what you did Dabb.  Don’t get me started on my feelings about this scene in the dark depths of my finale-denying soul.   DEAN DESERVES BETTER INDEED, SEASON 11 SAM. 

To rub salt in this particular wound, they show us THE cutest scenes of Dean with this damn baby so we can have feelings about how great of a parent he could be (also I ADORE that whenever Jared, Jensen, or Misha have scenes in later seasons with young children/babies it is SO clear they slip into their own natural dad mode without even noticing it; these guys just all seem like excellent fathers and it makes me mushy) and even Crowley picks up on that shit and makes his little ex-boyfriend joke (after Demon Dean and most of season 10 there is no way I will ever NOT believe that Crowley and Dean did not take a tumble; I will take no criticism):

CROWLEY: The child likes you. No surprise, really. You're very maternal.

LIKE WHAT IS THIS:

Speaking of King Jackles, next comes the episode he directed ->

BAD SEED [11x03]

-Cas/Dean parallels with the Attack Dog Spell/Mark of Cain-

This arc appears in the 10 finale and then runs through the first three episodes, culminating in this one.  Despite it hurting my heart to see our angel so bloody eyed and feral, I LOVED this parallel; it’s truly brilliant - Cas’s reaction to the attack dog spell is such a mirror to the way Dean dealt with the Mark most of 10.  It’s also beautiful that Dean is the only one that can pull Cas from the spell’s control at the end of this episode; that alley scene between the two of them in 11x02 is so tender and sweet.  I like to think this brought an entire new layer of depth to their connection, because no one truly understood how Dean felt under the influence of the Mark until now (someone write a fan fic about this exchange!!!!!!) I *love* this journey for them (please say that sentence in Alexis Rose in your head).  Bonus that  the episode containing my most favorite of *domestic* phone calls with Dean and Cas follows this one, and also Dean’s SHORT SHORTS follow because now he is just walking around the bunker in short shorts while Cas is there and I maintain this is because of this new level of closeness.  As previously stated I ACCEPT NO criticism.

ALSO OF COURSE THE FACE CUP THAT JENSEN HIMSEF DIRECTED HIMSELF TO DO.  I STAN A KING. I HEREBY DEMAND AT LEAST ONE FACE CUP PER EPISODE OF THE MINI SERIES JENSEN.

***I just saw something posted by @watchthebeesandfish​ back in 2015 when digging around the internet re: this episode - that this was the first time both Dean/Cas had seen each other as “themselves” since that heart wrenching bridge scene in 9x10, when Dean walks away from Sam/Cas after the Gadreel possession reveal (he goes on to take the Mark of Cain in the following episode, and has it the rest of the season through season 10 finale). That is brilliant and accurate and I BOW DOWN in humility to that parallel.  I now love this scene a billion times more. *single [wo]man tear*   Anyway, hope you guys enjoyed this little trip down memory lane, thanks as always for getting through my rambling,  and HAPPY FACE CUPPING FOREVER.

[the-littlefangirl]

TFATWS episode 2 rewatch commentary

We should've guessed John Walker was going to be an asshole the moment it was revealed he played football in high school

That remix of star spangled man is my villain origin story JEEEEEEESUS i want to punch something

They literally mass produced a Walker action figure in two weeks what the fuck

"Your new Captain America" GAAAAAAAAAAh * angry noises *

"For those who aren't familiar with John's resume" thank you GMA lady

My face during that whole speech: wtf and indignation intensify

Bucky's face: yep same.

Imagine being Sam and everywhere you go you're seeing your one (1) mistake spit in your face overandoverandover again that's g r e a t

Tbh that sambucky reunion was anticlimatic as fuck but i actually liked that, it was like WELL HERE WE GO AGAIN they can’t look at each other for 5 seconds before they need to start bickering

"You think it didn't break my heart" SAM SWEETIE

YeAH TELL HIM SAM

The way I know this clip by heart help me. It's still hilarious but it's even better now that I know that they literally just met and they're already bickering can you PLEASE stop you children

T H E  B I G  T H R E E

Spoiler it was a thing

Love how nonchalant Joaquín is about this entire situation lmao

"You sure about that"

*Fakes smiles* yeah, * screams *

Congrats at least you didn't rip your arm off this time that's what I call progress

is he… is he wearing high wasted skinny (jeans) combat pants?

Redwing i'm sorry for what's about to happen :(

"Look at you all stealthy" PLEASE

"it's white wolf, actually" n e r d

SAM MATERIALIZING OUT OF THIN AIR SAFHAJSFHA this is the second time that happened it’s so funny

H E LLO H O W A R E Y O U?

GOOD! WHAT DID I MISS! NOTHING

They're literally 5 CHILDREN CHILDREN PLEASE STOP

AND I CAN FLY WHO GIVES A SHIT fsdjhfadjkfh

L e t  m  e   s e e

Four

Yeah

Five!

YeaH

“So they're strong. W h a t e v e r”

SFHJDASKFA we're superheroes ma'am vibes

3 supersoldiers what could possibly go wrong

REDWING MY BELOVED FAREWELL

"I always wanted to do that" *gets punched in the face* you deserved that

YEAH BABEE look at those wings

Why do the knockoff duo have a special handshake jesus fucking christ i hate them

“SAM JOHN WALKER CAPTAIN AMERICA” Sam: *Glares harder*

Sam is having a very shitty day

So are we going to ignore that Bucky did t h e  t h i n g with the shield? Ok? Ok.

You can't tell me he wasn't thinking of just grabbing it like a toy and not returning it in the middle of the fight sfj

LOOK AT THOSE W I N G S

*whispers* t h e e arm thing

*Stares at the wall* I CAN'T WITH THAT SEQUENCE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO MEJSFHJASFAH PLEASE they didn't have to go that far with the grunting noises PLEASE

John Walker getting his ass served is something that can be so personal<3

Also, I like that they've now established that he CAN lose a fight, which makes me wonder if he's also going to use his political influence as leverage against sam and bucky once he goes berserk

"It's one of the big three" "Aliens, androids or wizards" "pretty sure" lmao yeah I don't think that's the vindication Sam was looking for

"Look, I've done the work, okay" SHUT THE FUUUUUUCK UP

"You ever jump on top of a grenade" bucky finding out about it in the middle of a briefing during the war fic trope intensifies

"It's a reinforced helmet" well you're fucking losing the point there then you naive clown

Captain "Kind of the government" America??? NOPE NOPE GOODBYE N O P E NOOOOOOOOOOOPE

"Usually said by the people with the resources" daaamn

“I'm Battlestar. John's partner" A clown that’s what you are

Bucky: YES I'VE REACHED MY LIMIT STOP THE FUCKING CAR

"It'd be a whole lot easier if I had Cap's wingmen on my side" FUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUU

"It's always that last line" yeP

Erin Kellyman is??? So pretty???

"The GRC care more about the people who came back than the ones who never left" love how they keep putting those random bits since otherwise their position sounds??? Extremely reasonable?? BUT THEY ARE V I O L E N T  R E V O L U T I O N E R S fuck off

"Let's take the shield, Sam" oh you BET he's been spiraling thinking about 3224 strategies on how to steal the shield during that flight

Sharon name drop:)

YES I KNOW YOU WERE ON THE RUN FOR TWO YEARS I'D REALLY HAVE WANTED TO SEE MORE OF IT JFC @marvel i hate you so much

The whole Baltimore sequence * chef's kiss *

ELI SWEETIE

Friendly reminder that Isaiah Bradley won a fight against the Winter Soldier. Proceed.

"I'm not a killer anymore" bucky sweetie

"You think you can wake up one day and decide who you wanna be" OOOOF

Carl Lumbly's acting f u c k

"How could nobody bring him up" SAM SWEETIE

I'm going to go ballistic now excuse me:))

This whole scene is so well written jesus fucking christ

Have you praised Anthony Mackie's performance today?

Twitter is this clear enough for you?????

Tbh i'm actually surprised marvel allow them to go there even if the situation didn't escalate.

They put the tiiiiniest handcuffs on bucky lmfao

How many more "bucky"s from Walker's mouth until someone punches him?

"He's too valuable of an asset to have tied up" YEAH BEEP BEEP ALARMS GOING OFF RIGHT THE FUCK NOW UHM THOSE WERE SOME… WORD CHOICES… THAT WERE USED… fuck you Walker

"It's something I use with couples" oh coME ON

SFHAJSDFH this is ridiculous i love it

Malcolm Spellman: * agressively takes notes on Stackie's interviews *

SOUL-GAZING EXERCISE LMFAO

THEY'RE SO STUPID I HATE THEM

Sambucky: *chaotic leg positioning*

Dr Raynor: WOW ALL RIGHT

I love that the staring contest thing is the conclusion of the bucky staring joke lmao

AND DON'T SAY SOMETHING CHILDISH

this is literally not about you bucky

"Maybe this is something you or Steve will never understand. But can you accept that I did what I thought was right?" YEAH!!!! 

Why is everyone, on the show and outside of it too, acting as if Sam made that decision of out the blue and didn't think about it for six months straight, and look what happened! He got fucking played! He's feeling enough remorse as it is jfc

"Thanks Doc for making it weird I feel much better" LMFAO

Oh you KNOW that the shoulder clap is going to come back unironically and it's going to be soft as fuck

"I feel better" "I feel awful" props for the honesty boys!

"It wouldn't make sense to work with you" more like you're the fucking government's lap dog and we wouldn't touch that with a twelve feet long pole. Let's fucking go Sam let's fucking go

10/10 building of Walker actually being a fucking asSHOLE

The Power Broker name drop!

Yes Bucky SHOULD beat the SHIT out of Zemo. As a treat.

"We're going to go see Zemo" *CLASSICAL MUSIC STARTS BLASTING IN THE BACKGROUND*

Oh I love that last bird eye's shot at the end of the scene

Overall thoughts: This episode was MUCH MUCH better on second viewing. I do think it’s a little bit too fast paced so a lot of things keep happening and there’s not enough time to process them in between?? Again the best moments are the quiet ones like the flight back and the Baltimore scene, but mad props to everyone from jumping between comedy and drama so fucking well. Even though there are, in tone, some very opposite atmospheres in the episode it never feels chaotic, and the situations that happen are very well connected and don’t feel disjointed at all.

The highlight of the episode was definitely the two different ways Sam and Bucky are (avoiding) grieving over Steve, and how his legacy hangs between them at all times. It makes so much sense for Bucky to take the entire situation so personally because Steve was the One thing he knew he could trust, while Sam is trying to see the bigger picture and not just what Steve demanded of him.

Hope that makes sense!

[stilesxeveryone]

The Rewatch, pt3

Again, I’m very open to have any discussions about anything I’ve said here! Please feel free to message me or comment anything!

Spoilers throughout for the end of season 2

Season 2, episode 1

Love starting off a new season with Jackson in a ditch, Scallison making out, and Chris shoving a gun in Scott’s face

I will always and forever ignore the whole “Stiles major crushing on Lydia” thing tbh, like I just do not enjoy their relationship being romantic at all

Scott with his head out the car window like a dog, oh my god

Isaac! My beloved! I didn’t realise he was first episode! 

God I hate Harris, I wish I wrote him more often tbh. I think he’d be an interesting character to write and add importance to, maybe as an enemy at some point

Chris Argent in a black suit? Sign me up

I really need to make a season 1 rewrite where Stiles and Lydia are best friends honestly. Like one where maybe some people find Stiles annoying but he isn’t an ass like Jackson, and Lydia likes him so he’s popular. In this case he wouldn’t be friends with Scott so there’d probably be a lot of canon divergence in the beginning

Oh buddy you know I hate Gerard 

Season 2, episode 2

This whole scene between Isaac and his abusive dad is so tense and uncomfortable and horrifying, good job

I really don’t understand the timeline of this season honestly, I thought Matt and the kanima bonded later on? Like when Jackson gets him to come over with his camera? But Isaac’s dad’s death suggests they’ve already bonded? Idk man idk 

I can’t believe Chris and Victoria Argent straight up torture the school’s principal to get him to quit his job, like please, that’s so unnecessary, just pay him off, or pay someone higher up off or whatever

The entire lacrosse team now think Stiles is into chaining people up during sex now, don’t they

Scott can smell a werewolf in the gym locker room but has to get two centimetres from their faces to tell if they’re a werewolf? Kinda weird bro

Derek asking for help? Man, I’m proud of him

Derek and Stiles little bit flirty vibes, good for them (also Derek’s smile is so cute)

The kanima is kinda ugly but like at least it looks better than the beta shifts

Season 2, episode 3

Idk if I’ve ever mentioned this but I’ve been planning a fic for ages where Matt (or technically anyone) is into Stiles and stalking him, and when the person bonds with the kanima they use it to go after everyone close to Stiles. Don’t know if I’ll ever actually write it

Oh hey, just the Argents traumatising Allison

I wish my school had a rock climbing wall 

Jackson is a really bad liar

Also yes I love Erica and Boyd and I need to write them more, I think I say this about every character, apparently I just need to write more in general

I just remembered the first time I ever watched teen wolf I didn’t understand why Sterek was so popular, because literally all I could see was Scerek, that’s so fucking funny

Season 2, episode 4

This is the episode that inspired the fic I was just talking about! Stiles at the mechanics, getting his car fixed, and the mechanic gets killed. The plan was like the mechanic harassing or flirting with Stiles, and Matt (or whoever) is waiting at the mechanic and sees it happen, and later that night gets the kanima to do it’s thing. Again, don’t know if I’ll ever actually write this so feel free to do it if it sparks inspiration

Also oh my god that murder is kinda fucked up, just not being able to do anything as a car slowly lowers onto you

God, Gerard grosses me out so much

I completely forgot how creepy young Peter is. I see his face, his fucking stare, and I just feel uncomfortable 

Yessssss, more Stiles and Lydia comforting each other and being supportive and being friends!

The pool scene! I forgot all about the pool scene! Where Stiles treads on water for ages while holding a paralysed Derek up. Just a fun scene tbh

Also another inspiration for the kanima fic because it kinda feels like the kanima is following Stiles around a bit

Season 2, episode 5

I miss the Stiles/Danny/Jackson fanfic I wrote that got lost when my laptop broke, it was almost finished and the suddenly gone, I was so upset

I literally hate that Derek tips the paralytic venom down Jackson’s throat, like okay, what if it affected his lungs and he stopped breathing??

I haven’t written any Stiles/Isaac have I? I should do that

This whole scene of Lydia giving the key back to Jackson and saying “I should hate you” is so good, v well done

Also I think Erica has been called a bitch three times now and I don’t appreciate that

I kind of wish they told Lydia what was going on sooner, I mean everyone around her having secrets and knowing what happened to her has gotta be rough to go through, and probably feels isolating and scary

Season 2, episode 6

Bless those drag queens that immediately attach themselves to Stiles

Lydia with her puppy is so adorable

Listen I know I’ve already written a “Stiles turns into a cat” fic, but that one was Steter, and I kinda want to write one where Lydia takes care of transformed Stiles

Also I appreciate that the jacket that young Peter is currently wearing ends up being adult Peter’s jacket in a later season

Oh god I still cannot believe the best plan that Stiles and Scott could come up with was kidnap Jackson and steal a prison transport van, how fucking stupid can you be

Gerard (Michael Hogan) does a very good job of being creepy and making me incredibly uncomfortable any time I see him

“So long as you stay strong, we won’t have to kill a 16 year old boy” wow okay, thanks mum for blaming your daughter for you wanting to murder a kid

How many times has Scott been too busy with Allison to notice something bad happening, or almost being too late to stop something because of it? Too many times

[magenta-llama]

Avengers Assemble Season 1: the stoniest

List: 

ep. 1-2 “The Avengers Protocol”

ep. 6  “Super Adaptoid”

ep. 13 “In Deep”

ep. 17 “Savages”

ep. 25 “Exodus”

ep. 26 “The Final Showdown”

Episodes 1-2: The Avengers Protocol

"You lead. I'll follow." (Steve Rogers)

What can I say, the show is gay from the start. Like, Tony is missing his team so much that he stalks them over his morning coffee on a daily basis. And yeah, sure, he stalks all of them and Steve is the last one he gets to, but come on, this show is so transparent (thank you, whoever made it this way. You make my life better every day. I love you.) And like, idk, I, personally, often leave the thing I am truly interested in to be the last one as well. Like, you never start with what worries you most when you don’t want to look suspicious.  And excuse me, what exactly was Red Skull’s “So Iron Man has a heart after all” about? I MEAN, AFTER IT LOOKS LIKE HE KILLS STEVE AND TONY GOES “NOOOOO” AND GETS KINDA ANGRY? Really, I think he is the biggest Stony shipper of the show (after Clint maybe).  And then again, “So you left the rest of your team behind - for me?” (Not that he doesn’t have a point, because the moment Tony sees Cap’s signature? He forgets everything). I tell you, he has an ao3 account, and he posts stony fics every night when MODOK is not around.

And the moment Tony frees Cap-Skull? He just wouldn't stop TALKING because he'd MISSED Steve so much TT 

Then goes part 2 - yep, the one with Steve’s “show-off” face. 

Like, he is biting his lip right there, I don’t take criticism.  He literally offers his body to Tony Stark at the very beginning of the show.

And Steve carrying Tony around in his arms? (Steve carrying Tony is a thing of this show in general - no matter whose hands are free, no matter the fact that Thor and Hulk are stronger than Steve and can move faster than him while carrying heavy stuff, Steve never lets anyone else carry his Tony. Ever.) The tender looks and shiny smiles Steve gives him? The non-stop flirting? I mean, if "Careful. Keep leading like that and we might actually stick together." was not a Captain America pick-up line I don't know what is. 

And the way Steve and Tony are right by each other's side, all the time, they just can't bear being farther than 1 meter's distance from each other. 

Do they have to be so close? There's plenty of space in Tony's house! And given that Tony was the first to turn and walk down it looks like Steve just ran after him to stick close again. 

Episode 6: Super Adaptoid

"There are a few old-fashioned things worth keeping around." (Tony Stark)

This one is just my favourite. I think I've rewatched it at least four times already. This whole trope with Tony's Modern Tech vs Steve's Old Fashioned Gut, learning to actually listen to each other and becoming closer in the end? Love it.   The way they just outright flirt and fool around from the first minute of the show? The way Tony is genuinely worried about Steve being hurt and tries to make him wear armour?

I personally find the whole concept of Tony making a suit for Steve really hot. And yes, it's always Steve. Not Clint or Natasha, who don't even have super strength. Just Steve. Tony wants to protect him so, so badly I want to cry.

I also love how Tony and Steve sit a bit apart from the others on their way home. Like, alright, Tony's piloting the jet (which actually JARVIS can do) but what is Steve doing? Just sitting there by his side and what, watching him? What had he been doing before he asked about the readings? He just likes spending time with Tony so, so much. I tell you, the only reason Cap wasn't sitting on his lap at that moment was that it's a kids' show. 

And Steve “never missing an issue” of Futura? That magazine with Tony on the cover? No, I can respect that he can just have interests of his own, but I like to think that he reads things like that to understand his boyfriend better. Or maybe impress him, who knows. He did impress him in the end :3

Also, why does Cap know how to use Iron Man's gauntlet? It didn't take him long to figure it out. Well, I actually made a fanart on that one, you can find it by “my art” or “stony” tag, I don’t know which one helps, tumblr messes with the tag search all the time.

And of course, the last scene. Oh, that last scene. That peaceful walk down the corridor while Tony's drying his hair. I have so many questions about that one scene. Like, what, were they taking a shower together? Were they going to spar? But then why do they take a shower before that..? But I've already written a post about that one, too.

Episode 13: In Deep

“So are you pals gonna hug now or what?" (Clint Barton)

The stoniest episode of the season. Possibly, of the whole show. Like, the whole episode is entirely stony. Undercover mission while gazing tenderly into each other's eyes? Trying to play bad guys, but keeping flirting and looking after each other's backs all the time? Really, the whole episode is just Steve and Tony being:

Yeah, I made a post about that one, too.

The "Tony's not following Steve's plan and Steve's pissed but in the end, they steal each other’s moves" trope? The "I know you're enjoying the role-playing thing"? I mean, how does he know Tony’s enjoying ‘the role-playing thing’? Oh, we all know how.  And Steve telling Tony how amazing he is? @tonysbubblebutt​ has already made a post about this, too. And COME ON, "Step 3 - we enjoy the view"? ENJOY THE VIEW, STEVE? REALLY?

(The view:)

Also, Tony's face when Steve hit him. For a moment, he really thought his babe was gonna hurt him, omg. 

And I like how everything is censored and yet so obvious. Like Tony putting a photo of his butt into the armour, but in pants - because kids'  show. Or Steve saying "billionaire, genius" and then trailing off - because kids' show. And Clint’s "So are you pals gonna HUG now or what?”  I mean, really?

Episode 17: Savages

"You know me, and I know Tony" (Steve Rogers)

The Camping! trope episode. Seriously, I've come up with at least three fanfiction ideas while watching this one. 

The first thing you should understand is that Tony and Steve had had a very good morning sex before the events. Or maybe not that good, because Tony just kept throwing Steve around the room and tried to make him “test drive his next invention”. Maybe he wanted to top and Steve didn’t let him, idk. Anyway, there is no other explanation for them beaming at each other for 20 minutes straight.

Really, the bet should have been about Tony and Steve being unable to go a day without eye-sexing every time one of them starts talking or, idk, moving. But just look at how wide their smiles are all the time - it makes it hard for them to even talk at all. 

But yeah, making bets. There’s actually an amazing fic about that, it’s called Quit While You’re Ahead by  @magicasen​ (ao3 work 3067199), I highly recommend you read it.

And the way they tease each other, oh my gosh. And the mysterious "next *fingers-up-in-a-scissoring-gesture* invention" Tony expects Steve to test drive- 

And both of them running around like two happy puppies when it’s time to set up their camping. 

And yes, Steve knowing Tony all so well and having so much faith in him? I love it. 

Episode 25: Exodus, Episode 26: The Final Showdown

"Sorry to break this romance" (Clint Barton)

These are just worth watching for Tony and Steve holding hands (I stopwatched 6 seconds, and those were only those shown), Steve carrying Tony on his shoulder while holding him under his butt and just Steve's "You're amazing, Tony" and Tony's "No, you are amazing. I am also amazing, but that's because you make me amazing with how amazing you are yourself, Steve." 24/7.

Bonus: Steve carrying Tony around - Season 1 edition (tell me if I missed anything)

[heathneycanon]

okay so i ranked 113 total drama/ridonculous race ships based on how much i like them with explanations below the cut.. fair warning that i’m a lil mean to some of the ships lower on the list.

also i forgot to include dwayne senior and that one girl’s mom from rr because i literally forgot they existed until now, and i don’t want to manually add them in so i’ll just say that i think they’re cute but not super interesting.

EDIT: this has been updated post-roti-rewatch. i switched around the order of a couple ships, and added a new one. if i ever rewatch rr or pahkitew i’ll probably edit it again, but the likelihood of me rewatching either of those seasons any time soon is... ok i was about to say it was slim but it’s probably not

also i’m not ever adding in dwayne and the mom because i like it being a part f the description lmao. an afterthought. as it should be.

enjoy!

113. stephanie/ryan - i HATE the daters/haters. they’re like a weird, shitty mix of tda gidgette and duncney. like, they’re either annoyingly all over each other, or they’re toxic and fighting. tbh, they’re pretty toxic all the time. they stuck around for way too long imho.

112. jacques/josee - I CHANGED MY MIND IGNORE THIS

111. tom/jen - tom is canonically gay, and i hc jen as a lesbian. so i’m not a fan of this ship.

110. nemma - yeahh, knowing me, this is also a predictably low ranking. i hc noah as gay and emma as a lesbian, so again, i don’t vibe with this one.

109. coderra - i can only deal with this ship in rewrites. i’ve seen super well thought out rewrites of coderra and sierra’s character, but as it stands, i really don’t ship this at all.

108. davesky - dave is an incel lmao. anyway yea this ship initially seemed like bootleg zoke, which was kind of bootleg gwent, but then BOY did davesky get worse. i can’t stand dave and i can’t stand pairing him with sky, either.

107. leonard/sugar - why. i hate both of these characters. no thank u.

106. ella/dave - ok so u know i don’t like dave. i also hc ella as a lesbian, she hasn’t realized it and is dealing with comphet. i don’t like this ship.

105. topher/ella - i hc both of them as gay. they are friends tho.

104. macarthur/brody - in case you’re noticing a trend, i do in fact hc macarthur as a lesbian. i also don’t really care about her at all lmao. anyway, not a fan of this one. i really don’t understand why fresh thought this was a good idea.

103. noah/katie - again, i hc noah as gay, but this ship is more funny to me than anything else because these characters were shipped together so often early on, when they both a) barely had any characterization and b) had never interacted? anyway yea i don’t ship it.

102. cameron/sierra - this one’s weird? literally sierra had a crush on him or whatever because he reminded her of cody even though they’re… nothing alike? dude please get sierra some therapy oh my god

101. heather/justin - i knew someone who really, really shipped them once, which is why i’m including it. anyway i cannot see this ship at all, next.

100. amy/rodney - i guess this existed? i barely remember pahkitew, and i know rodney had a bunch of crushes, but this is the main one i remember so it’s the only one i can be bothered to include. anyway this relationship didn’t seem healthy at all.

99. max/scarlett - i don’t like max and i don’t really care about scarlett, but i also hc both of them as gay, so this is a no from me.

98. gwody - creepy and bad. i don’t trust people who ship this or davesky.

97. dashawn - shawn can do better. that one scene where they look at each other when dave has to kiss the person next to him is kinda funny tho.

96. topher/dave - marginally better than all other dave ships just because topher is there and i like topher. again tho, topher can do much better.

95. malejandro - why does this ship exist.

94. ezekiel/bridgette - not my thing at all. i don’t care about zeke too much, and i have a lot more ships with bridgette that i prefer over this one.

93. cody/beth - i only care about cody in certain contexts, and i practically never care about beth. i wouldn’t click off of a fic if this were a background pairing or whatever, but i definitely wouldn’t seek it out.

92. ezekiel/beth - again, don’t really care about beth or ezekiel that much. but in certain contexts, i can see why this would be cute.

91. courtney/jose - the only way this is cute is alongside aleheather, so that courtney and heather could marry into the same family. but also, why is this a ship that exists?

90. scourtney - i love both scott and courtney, but no thank u. they had absolutely no chemistry, and courtney was using scott both in the competition and as a rebound. not a fan.

89. gwen/cameron - is this a thing that exists? i found a screenshot of gwen kissing cameron on the cheek but is that edited? if it is real, i probably blocked it from my mind.

88. courtney/cameron - now i know this one exists in the weirdest, stupidest way the show could’ve gone about it. barely even qualifies as a ship, and it’s definitely not a good one.

87. duncan/zoey - i kind of see why others would like this one, but at the same time, it doesn’t really appeal to me.

86. alejandro/courtney - i love alejandro and i love courtney. but i can only see them as friends, tho i can see them like. kissing just because they’re bored. or to fuck with people. they did that in the show, right? kind of? i forget the specifics.

85. chris/blaineley - while i guess i can see why people ship this, chref is canon and blaineley is a lesbian.

84. katie and/or sadie/justin - why would katie or sadie date justin, when they’re in love?

83. gwuncan - maybe could’ve been good, but literally everything about how they got together and their relationship in canon has tainted my view of this ship. i definitely preferred them as friends in tda anyway. there’s a lotta cute gwuncan fanart out there so i do rb it sometimes tho. i see why people ship this, i get the potential, but for me it’s soured by world tour.

82. laurie/miles - who?

81. mary/ellody - yea ok they’re smart gfs, but also i literally don’t give a shit about either of them.

80. pete/gerry - they’re definitely dating but again i don’t care about them.

79. mike/cameron - not a horrible ship by any means, i just don’t really like cameron that much.

78. alejandro/justin - there are so many superior alejandro ships. and a handful of slightly better justin ships.

77. carrie/devin - wow they didn’t have a storyline that was original in any way! they’re pretty cute tho.

76. sanders/macarthur - would be higher but acab.

75. macarthur/josee - i really like the whole rivals to lovers thing, but again, acab. this is higher than sanders/macarthur because of the rivals to lovers, but mostly it’s because there’s only one bastard cop here rather than two.

74. owen/alejandro - i don’t really mind this one, but i see it as more of a one sided crush on owen’s side.

73. lightning/cameron - i don’t really care about cameron, but the jock/nerd dynamic is kinda good.

72. rockspud - they’re definitely a couple, but as the trend indicates, i really can’t bring myself to care too much about rr ships.

71. lindsay/beth - best beth ship, worst lindsay ship. i like one this better if lindsay is also dating tyler.

70. lindsay/lightning - a crackship i made up when i was eleven. i just think it’s really funny.

69. noco - not a bad ship, it’s just not my thing. i definitely see why other people ship it, i just ship both of them with other people.

68. ella/sugar - i see why people ship this as well, but i just really don’t like sugar. i can bring myself to see past that because this dynamic is genuinely good.

67. sierra/heather - i’ve seen this in au’s and rewrites of sierra’s character, and i see the potential. not bad.

66. bawn - they’re cute i guess? i just never really saw the appeal. they’re not bad by any means, it just seems kind of bland.

65. dakota/zoey - okay so i’m adding this one in as i’m reordering stuff because i rewatched roti. i didn’t have this here initially but their friendship was cute until zoey was all “she’s scary” and voted her off. just saying, if zoey wasn’t written as a hypocrite and was actually written as a COOL character that lived up to the potential of her concept, this would’ve slapped. also i love any combo of dawn, zoey, and dakota, because they’re cute. i’m not including poly ships on here because that’d make things wayy complicated, but i’d be here for a poly ship of these three.

64. scott/zoey - UPDATED. was originally “yea something about this rubs me the wrong way. i feel like if i rewatched roti i would remember what, but i’m not going to do that just for this list. maybe someday.” i ended up rewatching roti for unrelated reasons the next day, and honestly? this one is not that bad. could be cute, potentially.

63. dj/katie - i guess this one’s pretty cute? i don’t really remember them interacting, but i guess i can see why someone would like this.

62. dunhar - i see why people ship this one. i kind of like it? i feel like it would work really well in an au or a rewrite.

61. dott - UPDATED. was originally “i used to kind of like this ship, but now i really don’t. i do love the idea of dawn and scott as best friends who bully each other in the friendly kind of way, though.” but i rewatched roti and... this has potential. i kinda like it. still prefer the bullying friendship tho.

60. scott/mike - again, i see why people would ship it. i’m not sure if people actually do? but it seems like the sort of thing i might have shipped in middle school, so someone probably likes it. but meh, it’s not really my thing anymore.

59. topher/shawn - i don’t remember if these two interacted but i guess this could be cute? maybe?

58. sky/ella - yea it’s cute i guess? i don’t really have an opinion on this one beyond that.

57. dawn/dj - i mean… i get where this comes from. i fully understand. i personally see them becoming close friends, but i also see why people would ship them.

56. dawn/brick - again, i see them much more as friends, but i get why people would ship them.

55. geoff/gwen - this ship kinda interests me because it was originally going to be canon in camp tv, but because of that one gweoff friendship episode in island i see them as unlikely friends.

54. dj/bridgette - maybe you’re sensing a trend here, but i see them as friends. i could probably get on board with shipping them, though.

53. deather - i like them as friends more, but i do think a relationship between them could be fun.

52. ella/dawn - i feel like i’ve seen this ship? it’s not bad! i’m not the biggest fan of ella but this is pretty cute.

51. zoke - i really want to like them, and i wish they were written better. as is, i kind of ship them? there’s nothing wrong with zoke. but both as characters and as a ship, they could’ve been so much better.

50. noah/justin - this one’s interesting! i’ve never actively shipped it, but i can see it for sure. it’s cute!

49. owen/justin - again, not something i’ve actively shipped, but i like it!

48. carrie/kitty - i think they’re both in their late teens? like 18ish? appropriate ages for each other? if so, i like this one. they’d be cute

47. josee/jen - yea i like this. i feel like they would get along pretty well. they’re both successful in their own right. power couple for sure.

46. tom/jacques - again. power couple. i also think they’d go on double dates with jen and josee, which i like a lot. honestly both of these teams are the epitome of mlm/wlw solidarity. i like this one.

45. alecody - i like it! i don’t have much to say about them at all, but i like it.

44. brody/geoff - good ship! putting the romance in bromance. i like this one more when it’s combined with gidgette though.

43. anne maria/vito - originally i put “what is the appeal of this ship? genuinely asking.” as the description, and then an anon sent in this reply: “You wanted the appeal of anne maria and vito? Well here it is; they are both so dumb. Not a brain cell between the two of them. Imagine them trying to do anything domestic like. They could not assemble a bookshelf or make a pot of spaghetti without it turning into a horrible, but memorably fun, mess. They’re soft for eachother but would kick anyone’s ass for so much as looking at the other. Sorry im rambling lmao i just think they are so funny together”. i get the appeal now, so i’m moving this one up.

42. lindsay/courtney - lmao their dynamic is so funny. i don’t know how well a relationship between them would go, but i can see court realizing over time that lindsay is a lot smarter than she initially seems to be. idk courtney’s observant and lindsay is actually pretty smart. i can see it happening.

41. trent/justin - best justin ship, worst trent ship (that i can think of. i’m sure there are more trent ships but i can’t think of them lmao). i can see them getting along pretty well! i bet in universe a bunch of drama brothers fans ship them, because of course they do. i can see the potential here.

40. lindsay/heather - yea this one could be good. i’d like to see a post world tour version of this ship, or an island au where they get together. either way, i like the idea of this one.

39. lindsay/gwen - again, this ship is pretty good. gwen was kind of rude to lindsay at points, but i think after she stood up to heather, gwen gained some respect for her. idk i can see it happening.

38. lightning/scott - is this jock/farmer? jock/asshole? i’m not sure, but i really like it.

37. harzeke - tumblr user harzeke has opened my eyes. their posts are enlightening. the reason i kind of like ezekiel. harzeke is a good ship.

36. sadie/lindsay - remember in phobia factor when they were hyping each other up? yeah. they’d be cute together.

35. dundie - you know, i really didn’t expect them to make this one canon, but total drama dundie came outta nowhere. i wasn’t sure i was going to like them together, but fresh pulled together it’s first coherent plot in years and created a beautiful love story. very well done.

34. chref - chref is canon and u can’t tell me otherwise.

33. katie/sadie - after they got over their comphet, they realized they were in love and they end up having a really cute wedding.

32. ozzy - this ship is cute! they’re both bi and i hc they talk about cute people together because of course they do. also they would be so much fun to be around. i like them.

31. dj/geoff - djeoff? yea i like this. i think they’d both go out of their way to do sweet things for the other, but of course, they’re still geoff and dj. dj would probably bake a lot for geoff, but at least once, he’s gotten nervous and dropped it by accident. and geoff practices pick up lines and jokes before their dates but they’re like. the bad ones. dj loves them. anyway! this ship is good.

30. courtney/trent - i really, REALLY love them as friends, but i like them as a ship too! honestly i just love them getting along in any capacity. i think they’d be cute.

29. dawn/dakota - i made this up five minutes ago and i love it. i have no idea if people actually ship this but they should. just… think about it for a second. think about it and then try to tell me i’m wrong. u can’t.

28. alenoah - noah had a crush on alejandro during world tour, and u can quote me on this. i think they would be a power couple for sure. i like this one.

27. gidgette - season one gidgette is amazing. gidgette in the context of the killer bass five is amazing. season two and three gidgette is kind of meh to me, but not horrible i guess! i like geoff and bridgette and i think they’re cute together.

26. duncan/dj - i like the idea of this one. remember when duncan found dj a bunny? yea. they’d be cute.

25. jock - jock is good. rivals to allies to lovers. that’s the path i see this ship going down. i really like picturing them in any sort of au where they can kick ass together.

24. gwourtney - i used to like this one a lot more, but it’s still very good. i love the idea of them both mistakenly attributing their feelings for each other to duncan and accidentally ruining their friendship in the process. and by love i mean hate but also think is a good interpretation of the love triangle. i can see them together in an au, or after seriously reconciling in the future. or, honestly, in any universe where sundae muddy sundae doesn’t exist.

23. leshawna/gwen - did i hear u say best friends to lovers? no? well you’re getting them anyway. leshawna and gwen would be amazing i’m telling u. it’s a good ship.

22. tyler/alejandro - this is the third time i’ve said someone had a crush on alejandro during world tour, but. tyler had a crush on alejandro during world tour. i think they’d make a cute couple.

21. jashawn - this is a relationship built on respect and trust and i am here for that. they’re both a lil weird but neither of them mind, and they care about each other so much… i’m soft.

20. jasammy - i like this only marginally better than jashawn. honestly, i like all three dating the most. but anyway, jasmine was the first person who saw sammy as more than an extension of her sister… she stuck up for her. she was sammy’s first real friend. can i just reiterate… i’m soft.

19. evzy - they would light your house on fire together just cuz they were in the mood. eva bench presses izzy every morning. do not try to challenge them to any sort of competition, they will win by any means possible. eva picks izzy up at every opportunity. whenever they cook anything, they burn it. is this by accident or on purpose? i’m not sure. izzy likes lighting stuff on fire and eva likes eating burnt food for some reason, so it doesn’t really matter. i love their dynamic so much.

18. jomaria - if u were talking shit about either one of them, they would both get together and beat u up. they’re both legends and i love them.

17. gweather - total trauma comic has truly opened my eyes… i really like them in a future setting where they’re both more mature and can understand how they were both in the wrong at times during total drama, and ended up hurting people and were hurt themselves, and work through that together. so basically… in the setting of the total trauma comic.

16. heather/leshawna - rivals to lovers…. au where leshawna and heather get together during tda… i’m telling u it’s a good ship.

15. nowen - imho, this is both the best noah ship and the best owen ship. they complement each other so well. world tour nowen is just. the peak of their dynamic. i think enough has been said about nowen that you can understand why i would like it, so i’m just gonna move on.

14. trody - this one came outta NOWHERE a while back, i’m telling u. but i love it?? i liked their friendship in island, and i just. i love the idea of cody having a crush on both gwen and trent during island, misunderstanding that and thinking he just has a crush on gwen, and realizing after island at some point that he also liked trent. and then trent developing a crush on cody after the breakup with gwen and just… dijfalsfjla honestly i like them in so many contexts. thank u tumblr user gothcody for bringing the trody hype. anyway they’re a good ship!

13. bridgecourt - my favorite bridgette ship! idk i loved bridgette and courtney’s friendship in island, and i can see them having a best friends to lovers type of deal. i just think they’d be cute together, and their relationship would be really healthy and balanced.

12. gwoey - u can try and tell me there wasn’t a little something between these two in all stars, but u would be wrong. their designs compliment each other really well, they’re cute together… i’m a fan.

11. lesharold - SO valid. harold drinks his respect women juice every morning, except for that one time he rigged the votes in island to vote out courtney because he was mad at duncan smh. anyway this is a relationship built on RESPECT and CARE. they’re very cute together, and i love them.

10. dawn/zoey - the superior doey. listen the only reason these two weren’t friends is because fresh decided that zoey was going to think dawn was “weird”? but what if zoey just said that because she didn’t know how to deal with the fact that she found zoey cute… zoey is the epitome of that “i had a crush on a girl and i didn’t know how to deal with it so i sent her a letter that said ‘get out of my school’” tweet. n e way they would be such a good couple.

9. samkota - dafjlsflkaakf i think about samkota and i freak out i’m telling u. like is there anything. ANYTHING. better than a guy loving and respecting his girlfriend unconditionally? and mutual love and respect? … well i mean there are several more entries on this list, so okay, maybe a couple of things, but this shit is galaxy brain right here.

8. aleduncan - ok so apparently something i like slightly more than partners who are soft and even softer for each other is total assholes who care about each other. like alejandro is a gentleman… but he’s a manipulative jerk too. and duncan’s a fucking asshole and i love him for it. anyway when they teamed up in world tour, especially in that episode where they hunted ezekiel (??? what is total drama??) i really liked their dynamic.

7. lyler - ok back to love and respect. tyler and lindsay are so good!! tyler got so excited when lindsay remembered who he was right? and lindsay never stopped asking ppl if they were tyler ok. like she knew she cared about tyler enough to want to be with him even when she didn’t know who he was?? i feel like we don’t talk about the implications of this enough. honestly… i feel like people overlook how much the period in between tyler’s elimination and slap slap evolution must have sucked for both of them? like it was played for laughs but… that shit’s sad :( ok i’m done being sad they’re cute and they love each other and i love them.

6. gwent - yea u got me i still care about them. tdi gwent was really sweet! there was a lil pining. a lil outside meddling. and a lot of cute. and GOD during the finale when trent ran alongside gwen with that boulder? he cared about her so much!! of course action ruined it with the shitty portrayal of ocd and a healthy portion of not fucking communicating with your partner, but before that it was good.

5. truncan - you got me, i like the idea of trent serenading duncan with his guitar and duncan liking it a lot more than he anticipated. i think they’d have a dynamic that’s a little more turbulent than most other trent ships, but less so than most other duncan ships. they’d be a lot more balanced i think. i’m a fan of that.

4. scuncan - okay so u remember how i said i like to ship two fucking assholes together? scuncan is peak asshole/asshole rights. all stars totally missed their chance to have these two team up by dumbing scott down, whatever they did with duncan, and of course, introducing scourtney, i’m just saying. scott was actually playing the game pretty well in roti, and duncan was a veteran of the series. the two of them could’ve dominated the game. those fuckin assholes.

3. aleheather - okay now this ship was like, the only central ship that started out good and ended good in this entire series, except maybe jashawn but they don’t count because they were literally only in 13 episodes. anyway they did rivals to lovers right here. also, they simultaneously gave heather a great character arc and wrote alejandro super well. so the characters as individuals were great at the time they got together, and the couple was great together, so what i’m trying to say is… aleheather was and still is amazing.

2. duncney - in case u couldn’t tell from how high gwent is on this list, i am a fan of the tdi ships. another thing you might be able to tell from this list- duncan and courtney are two of my favorite characters in the series. so of course duncney gets a high placement on this list. not only that, but they go from disliking each other to really liking each other, which is something else that i really like. tdi duncney is opposites attract in the best way, where they compliment each other each other instead of clash. beyond that… ugh. eughhh. i don’t even want to think about that. but duncney in tdi alone earns itself number two on the list.

1. heathney - yes i love girls. yes this ship is pretty fucking basic. and no, there are no heathney fics on ao3. i will be attempting to remedy that. anyway, i could see them pulling a rivals to friends to lovers as well, which is one of my absolute favorite tropes. i think they’d be a total power couple. and to top it off, i love them both. a lot. so much. thank u for ur time.

[petekaos]

What did you think about the last episode!!

hi hi! so uhhh... this is going to get long and i’ve combined like 10 other asks i want to address, so your ask may be answered here! if you want Rahul’s Take On The 2gether Finale, then brace yourself.

...I didn't really like the last episode, I feel like it could've been a lot better/more emotional

I dunno if it's because I didn't like the last 2 episodes but even though the show literally finished I'm not emotional? The last episode I felt actually really happy watching was ep 9 but now I'm just 'ok, that show finished.' I'm sad bc I thought I would have a stronger reaction to the ending and them getting back together but I'm just meh :/

Really don't want to sound like those annoying people but damn really no kiss scene

I liked the ending, it was okay I guess but gmmtv better prepare for a shitstorm bc so many people didn't lololol

Honestly the best and well written episodes were ones where they still weren't a couple, like 8 and 9 were amazing

Although the finale was good, I feel llke in the future when I want to rewatch my favorite moments from this series, I will go for the first 10 or so episodes more often than not. It kinda feels like 2gether peaked around episodes 7-10, which is perfectly fine!! It was all in all a great series that did what it wanted to do and I’ll always cherish it but, I probably won’t rewatch much of the last two episodes

They made pam even worse!! Before she had her talk with tine anyway!!

My thoughts on the finale: could've been a lot better, could've been a lot worse

2Gether really felt like a giant inflatable castle that was carefully blown up for the past 12 weeks only to let it rapidly and poorly deflate in the end

The ending was fine and was expected but for me it's underwhelming in the sense that the past episodes, especially 4, 8 and 9 were really written in comparison so the finale is kinda meh bc I knew there was gonna be a happy ending. But still the YouTube comments and what some people on tumblr are saying is ridiculous, I don't want to even think about Twitter but imo I don't think any of gmmtvs other shows can top dbks ending like that ending was perfect,

i honestly love that 2gether focused so much on the story and the emotion and became so successful without all the usual fan service. i hope the whole industry takes something away from that! but i still felt like the finale was a little emotionally stunted when it came to tine/sarawat. i just wanted a big YES, I CHOOSE YOU moment, and tine's reappearance and the bracelet scene just didn't do it for me. you know what would have, though? a kiss. or a hug, or holding hands, or something sweet

okay, my friends! here is my opinion on the 2gether finale first, and then i’m gonna address what i personally hold of the more negative response the fandom has shown. i generally thought the finale had... a solid ending. i went into it with absolutely no expectations apart from sarawat’s song and a happy ending, because i knew it would be messy and not as good as ep 4 or 9 etc, considering the sheer amount of open storylines that were left to be resolved in one episode. i knew it would polarise the fandom--but i personally thought the ending was fine! a bit cliche, a bit rushed, but it was okay and it was a good enough ending for me to put 2gether behind me, the first season at least. the bracelet scenes and shots were amazing, the song was incredible (although i wish they would have had sarawat sing a bit more), the conversation pam and tine had was solid as well! there were a lot of things i liked about the finale and bright and win killed their solo acting as always. however, there are some things i wanna get into more detail about that i feel could have been done better, not only as a finale but as a show itself.

time allocated for the storylines. or: plotlines in general. this has been my bone to pick ever since episode 10. not gonna lie, this wasn’t good, especially from ep 10 onwards. there were so many storylines and plotlines that were dragged out further than necessary, and so many plotlines that should have started earlier. best example for this is mil and phukong, the mil redemption storyline should have started in ep 10 and should have had him be sincere for once, and the mil/phukong storyline should have actually made sense from the beginning and started in ep 11 at the latest. the mantype storyline should have also started a bit earlier than that and given us an explanation as to why type was crying at the retreat. however, mantype did pull it off!

writing! this ties in with the first point. the writing felt a bit inconsistent in the last two episodes and it’s a pity, really, that this is one of the downfalls :/ all the actors in this series, from the mains (bright, win, mike, toptap, frank, drake) to the side characters (gunsmile, love, gigie, film, etc.) are such good actors and it’s unfortunate that the last three episodes were a bit :// in terms of writing and plotlines. they all did the best they could with what was written and that... yeah.

conflict. this has to do with the first two points. the finale felt rushed. that’s something that i don’t think anyone really can argue? and i expected that, so i wasn’t too disappointed by it or anything. obviously it would have felt rushed considering the fact that they had to wrap up 3 or 4 episodes’ worth of storylines in one episode, which was a blunder on the writers’ part. the conflict fell flat, then. if they had had pam come in earlier and had tine and sarawat spend more time away from each other, we would have gotten an explosive reaction. i really do think that after they got together for real, the writers struggled to find conflict to keep the story going, jumping from tine’s insecurities to mil to pam for no reason whatever. i think it would have been much better done if we had mil as an antagonist wrapped up and on the road to redemption in ep 10 and had pam come in there, with tine’s insecurities as a b plot. i feel that would have been a bit more gripping. but, hey, guess that’s just me!

order of filming. this has to do with people saying that brightwin’s chemistry was off in the finale. i don’t think it was off, per se, but it was definitely lacking when we compare it to their chemistry in ep 4 or 9 or 10, y’know? that’s because i believe the finale was filmed earlier, when bright and win were still getting to know each other and figuring out how well they could improv. and they can improv, from what we’ve seen! so there really is nothing i can say apart from the fact that it’s a bit disappointing that they decided to film such a pivotal scene at the beginning. if it had been filmed in the end, it would have definitely been better!

flashbacks. the finale needed all the time it was gonna get, and i am disappointed by the amount of flashbacks they used, honestly. i would have cut down on the number of sarawatine flashbacks and used them sparingly when they reunited, because that just... makes sense and evokes emotion in the viewer, you know? the only flashbacks that served well were type’s view of everything and phukong and mil, because they were new. it just... felt a bit inauthentic.

pam. or: the girls in general. there is nothing i can do here but SCREAM. pam should have come in way earlier and replaced mil as the centre point of conflict for ep 11 and 12 to have been as good as the rest of the show, or ep 4 and 9 at least. her character fell so flat and the conflict she brought with her fell so flat as well, honestly. the girls should have been done better--more of earn and sarawat! more of pear! they could have tied into the plot effortlessly!

mil and phukong x mil. yeah this is a... whole ass bulletpoint, unfortunately. call me a clown all you want for expecting him to have at least a half assed redemption arc in the finale but goddamn was that... not good. really bitter over the fact phukong was straight up okay with being a “replacement” for tine even though... that doesn’t even make sense. i just... yeah, this wasn’t good. i feel super bad for frank and drake because they deserve a well written show or at the very least a well written storyline for all of their chemistry and work they put in, considering the fact that they are so so young. i could go on about a good mil arc for ages but i just... yeah i’m writing a fic, so y’all will see.

the reunion. this stems from the flat conflict and the rushed-ness of it all, but yeah. it wasn’t particularly hard-hitting, but i still enjoyed it because it’s sarawat and tine. this has to do with when they filmed as well, and just... because the angst didn’t start early enough for it to hit home. and i really do wish we’d had a scene after that with the both of them, alone. a lot of their things happen with a lot of people around them... and nah.

one year later. bro. bro. bro. the music club thing was cute! but i would have just... loved to see them alone, y’know? a scene of them being alone and intimate, just sitting next to each other on the couch or at a football game or sarawat continuing bringing the cheerleaders snacks, even a year later. them going to another concert. anything where they were just... alone. i wanted to see them together! we got that with mantype and we even got that fucking... scene on the roof where mil and phukong were just fuckin around? yeah? i would have loved to see that with sarawat and tine so much. (also btw pretty sure the rooftop scenes with mil and phukong is also where drake and frank took this photo and it made me so happy dhsndh like... the shot where mil took his hand off phukong’s eyes? i called it immediately and my partner was like ???)

intimacy. chemistry. the biggest thing everyone is talking about. now comes the part that y’all all wanted to know if you’ve been reading this far lmfao, my take on the fact that was no kiss in the finale! and my take is... i expected there to be no kiss in the finale somewhere deep within, and honestly i’m fine with not having a kiss. my only problems with all of this are first of all, that we didn’t get a proper kiss in the entire series and had sarawat kissing tine one-sidedly. secondly, i would have loved verbal intimacy as well! an i love you, or y’know, some hand holding, anything! this is also due to the fact that i believe the series was filmed relatively early on. i just wish... again, that they would have been alone one year later and we could have just seen them being domestic, as we have already seen them!

so those are some of my thoughts on the finale. considering the fandom’s response... i can see why people are upset or disappointed but i don’t think it’s, like, that justified to throw the whole show away as well. yeah, the ending wasn’t perfect, but if you’ve enjoyed the show as a whole... maybe it’s okay, y’know? like, personally, i don’t think i’m ever going to rewatch the finale. but i do love the earlier episodes and i am gonna watch them back at some point, probably! it’s all well and good and valid to criticise the lack of intimacy and kissing in the finale i guess, but if you’re a straight girl then maybe... watch your words. 2gether has portrayed a wonderful love story between two men and to see straight people throw it away as “bromance” or say it’s the “straightest bl of all time” or whatever because of the lack of kisses is kind of hurtful. i am completely open to discussing this with lgbt people, mlm specifically, and you can come talk to me about your thoughts if you’re a straight woman as well. all i’m asking for is that you maybe show a little bit of empathy and respect, y’know? i also do think 2gether peaked around episode 9/10 and i’m fine with that! it gave me so much more than characters and relationships--it gave me the fandom and everyone here and words cannot express how grateful i am for all of you. maybe the last few episodes were poorly written and the finale wasn’t everything y’all hoped for... but i did and do love this show. i cannot wait to see where brightwin go next.

[draechaeli]

Weather, Mountains, and Distance in China as Applied to the Módào Zǔshī Universe

I am a Foreign Teacher living in China and have been doing so for the last eight school years. For five and a half years I lived in Shandong Province, the same province as LanlingJin and I was a three and a half hour drive north of LanlingJin; a two to three-hour drive east and a bit south of LaolingQin; and a five to six-hour drive east and a bit north of QingheNie. For the last two and a half years I have lived in Jiangsu Province (barely) just two and a bit hours southwest of LanlingJin. But Jiangsu is the province of GusuLan and I am six hours north and a bit west of them; and not that anyone cares about MolingSu, but I’m four hours north and bit west of them. I have also travelled to every province, region, and territory that China says is China and most of those in January and February during Spring Festival Holiday. So from this experience I am going to discuss Chinese weather and a few other things that relate to the MDZS universe.

This ended up being way longer than I thought it was going to be. It was written to be read straight through. But as I’m pretty sure I’m the only one that cares and it goes through my thought process on the topic I have labelled each section so you can scroll down until you see the subheading you are interested in.

My Introduction to MDZS

My friend, told me about MDZS and the Untamed like 1 November 2019. I was at first skeptical as I have seen lots of Chinese shows playing in bars, at restaurants, or on long bus trips (the latter being where I’ve sort of had to see entire episodes and films) and generally Chinese TV shows are low on plot and have the same set character archetypes (not the point of this post so feel free to disagree, but I’m not here to argue). So honestly I was skeptical, but November is National Novel Writing Month, so even if I wanted to I hadn’t had the time. I also knew that I was going to be seeing said friend in Cambodia during Spring Festival Holiday and we would watch it then. Prior to going to Cambodia, I travelled with my Chinese friend Dean for eight days, but then he had to return home to spend Spring Festival with his family and I continued in my travelling.

I told Dean about how my friend was going to make me watch the Untamed and how it was based on a book and how it despite restrictions is still pretty gay. Dean didn’t believe me, but a couple days at home with nothing to do and plenty of wifi, and he had watched the Untamed before I could even meet up with my other friend!

Cloud Recesses in the Untamed - Mountains and Canal Cities

So that first scene where you see Cloud Recesses, I was like: oh I know those mountains! And my friend said that most of the places were really in China and sent me this map. As I continued watching well I was mostly caught up in the story but the snow kept bothering me, but there was never snow that stayed on the ground in the Untamed so I forgot it quickly. At a later rewatch I thought the Cloud Recesses mountains looked a lot like the mountains at ZhangJiaJie (the floating mountains that were the model for Avatar) in Hunan further west of where GusuLan is situated. According to the Untamed Wikipedia page the filming was done in Hengdian World Studios and Guizhou (also pretty far west). I am however a fan of climbing mountains and have climbed a lot of mountains in China, so I could be remembering mountains wrong.

Where the questions came up was fanfiction. And I have never stopped reading a fic because they talked about a lot more snow then I had ever seen in the particular area of China. And Cloud Recesses having towering mountains as they depict from afar in both the live action and the donghua. When I’m watching the mountain is a back drop, but often fics make the mountains or snow part of the plot and it’s too late because I already think of Gusu being Suzhou a very famous canal city south of me and we get like once a year two cm of snow that lasts maybe two hours. And the translator’s note at the end of Refinement Part 1 says that Cloud Recesses got its name from a phrase of Jia Dao’s poem, not the height of the mountains.

In general, I know that a lot of English fic writers just didn’t know the weather in China or perhaps hadn’t seen the map that showed you where everything in China was situated. And were using context clues like the disciples of YunmengJiang laying topless on floorboards in the summer heat in the extras from the book or the snow seen in both the Untamed and MDZS the donghua. And I had brushed it off as artistic license the height of the mountain of Cloud Recesses bugged me and made me do research for my own personal piece of mind.

I will admit I have not been to Suzhou, I skipped it when I was being a tourist in Jiangsu Province as the internet said it was a big tourist spot and could be very crowded, so I chose to go to a different canal town. Then I moved to Xuzhou in Jiangsu. And in Chinese the biggest thing is said first so I would have to say in Chinese when asked where I was moving to or later where I lived: Jiangsu, Xuzhou. The other thing I didn’t know despite having studied Chinese in college, that I learned from Dean when I complained about this problem is that all Yu (Yu, Yue, Yun, Yuan) and Xu (Xu, Xue, Xun, Xuan) no matter the tone are pronounced with a umlaut on the u so: Yü, Yüe, Yün, Yüan, Xü, Xüe, Xün, and Xüan. So, despite the fact that I pronouncing (disregarding tone for the following examples, and written by use of correlating English words and names) Xuzhou as Shoe-joe every Chinese person thought I said Suzhou (which I would say as Sue-joe). So, I heard a lot of: “Suzhou?! It’s so beautiful! And with all the water!” never anything about mountains.

Now, Guilin, Guangxi is a city that is absolutely gorgeous and has a lot of mountains, there is one called the Solitary Beauty Peak (152m), which is literally a vaguely rectangular mountain, with very sheer faces (and steep stairs carved in to get to the top), in the middle of a very flat expanse (behind the yellow building in the picture - January 2014).

Which means that similar mountains could be in Suzhou. And Gusu was named after Gusu Mountain so I did an exhaustive search with multiple map apps, google, and baidu to find the mountains in Suzhou and their heights. In the end the mountains in Suzhou are not very tall.

 Practical Experience with Snowfall in China

My first year in China my city got snow in December, maybe about 10 cms, but it was cold enough that it didn’t melt; and so we had snow for pretty much the whole winter with a sprinkling of a couple more cms added here and there. That year, I went to the Great Wall in the winter and signed up to go to Mutianyu a section of the wall pretty far from Beijing (north of all places in MDZS), but we couldn’t get to it due to snow, so we went to another section, Juyongguan, which wasn’t snowed out and it didn’t have too much snow on it maybe just a couple cms of snow built up in corners of steps and the like. That was the last time we really got snow that stayed. A few years later we got maybe a few cms but not a lot of snow. When I went to Sichuan (in 2014; where MeishanYu is) I remember leaving the Chengdu airport in a car and looking out the window to see snow dusted palm trees, something I had thought I really wouldn’t have ever seen, but that was probably the most snow that I had seen for that trip. The 12th edition of the China Lonely Planet book does state that the canals of Suzhou are very beautiful covered in snow in December. But based on how I’ve seen less snow further north than Suzhou makes me wonder how consistent it is.

Temperatures on Mountain Tops in China

I went to Ürümqi, Xinjiang the very tail end of June in 2019. July is the hottest time in Xinjiang and the temperature while I was there was generally about 30-45°C. One day I went to Tian Chi a lake in the Heavens Mountain (Tianshan) range, the lake is below the Peak of God (Bogeda Feng) that according to my Lonely Planet is a 5445m peak. Which now that I’m looking at the book, I know I hadn’t before going to Ürümqi, because the book says to bring warm clothing and I hadn’t. I took a tour bus up to the lake (I think that is the most common option. And around the lake it didn’t feel as hot as it was down in Ürümqi and when I went to take the cable car most of the way up Bogeda Feng, I remember seeing winter jackets for rent. At that moment I thought it was strange and pointless in the warmest time for the area despite that it was definitely getting chilly enough that I put on the light jacket (that prior to that point was mainly for sun protection) on. When I got out of the cable car near the top it was definitely cold. Many of the other hikers were in winter jackets and as you climbed up to the peak your breath definitely misted like it was winter! But that is the only time that has happened to me climbing mountains in China. I climbed Huangshan a mountain in Anhui, west and a bit south of Gusu. It has an elevation of 1873m and I climbed it in May, and there was no discernible temperature difference between the top and the bottom of the mountain.

The Yangtze River – divider of whether your home is heated or not

The Yangtze River is what China uses as a divider of north and south China. In the present day this is seen as whether or not your home gets central heating in the winter. When I lived in Shandong province (north of the Yangtze), the central heating was turned on 1 November and turned off the 1 March (I think, I’m remembering that correctly). Each province decides how cold it is and for how long and has different rules for central heating. No matter what you don’t have control over the temperature of the central heating, and everyone has to survive with an AC/Heating mounted wall unit, and/or portable heaters.

Jiangsu is a province that the Yangtze cuts through, which means you might get central heating. I moved to Xuzhou, which is spitting distance to Shandong province, in May (I got transferred to cover a sick teacher). So I was put up in the teacher’s housing on the college campus, and it did have central heating, the flat also had screened in windows above the doors that didn’t have glass and therefore would be open year-round. When I said I wanted to stay in the city and teach for the next year I got an off-campus flat in a community maybe 1.5 kms down the road—no central heating. Fall 2019 my community was offered central heating, we would have had to pay to get it installed, and it would only be installed if enough people said yes because it would be done for the whole community at that point. If we got the central heating it would have only been turned on December-February, and as the Spring Festival break at the school was an entire month it wasn’t worth it. And that time I went to Sichuan (everyone says south, but I think it has a bit of the Yangtze in it) all the restaurants were open fronted with no solid doors at all. Though the AC/Heating mounted wall unit in my hotel room (a small hotel outside of the city proper with a squat toilet in the bathroom (I’ve only seen squat toilets in two Chinese hotels)) was the best heater ever. My hotel room was so much warmer than any flat I’ve had in China, because even if it was a cheap hotel the AC/Heating mounted wall units needed to work well in Sichuan because it was the only source of heat.

 MDZS Cities on the Yangtze and Old Names for the River

So west to east the cities that are close/on the Yangtze are: Meishan - north, Kuizhou - north bank, Yiling - north bank, Baling - south bank, Yunmeng - north, Moling south (the Yangtze goes through Nanjing so maybe it has bank space), and Gusu - south (possibly in the delta).

According to the Yangtze Wikipedia Page, which I have kept open in a tab in Firefox for reference since I started writing fic—People in Ancient China didn’t realise that the river was a single river and therefore each section of the river, had its own name and was thought to be its own river (the following is mostly just copied from Wikipedia).

For Meishan, Kuizhou, and Yiling, the river through Sichuan and Chongqing Municipality was known as the Chuan Jiang (川江; Chuān Jiāng) or "Sichuan River." The Wikipedia page specifically states that Yichang modern day Yiling as the last/most eastern city to call the Yangtze thus.

In Hubei, this would be Yunmeng and Yiling, but Yiling followed the pattern of the places further west. And I’m going to assume Baling despite being in Hunan; the river is also called the Jing Jiang (荆江; Jīngjiāng) or the "Jing River" after Jingzhou.

In Anhui (which has no sects), the river takes on the local name Wan Jiang after the shorthand name for Anhui, wǎn (皖).

For Gusu and Moling, it was the Yangzi Jiang (揚子江; 扬子江; Yángzǐjiāng) or the "Yangzi River," from which the English name Yangtze is derived, is the local name for the Lower Yangtze in the region of Yangzhou. The name likely comes from an ancient ferry crossing called Yangzi or Yangzijin (揚子 / 揚子津; Yángzǐ / Yángzǐjīn). Europeans who arrived in the Yangtze River Delta region applied this local name to the whole river.

The dividing site between upstream and midstream is considered to be at Yichang (Yiling) and that between midstream and downstream at Hukou (Jiujiang).

Winter Weather in Terms of Whether or Not Long Underwear Should be Worn in Various MDZS Cities

Another way to think of it is in terms of long underwear. I wore long underwear in my city in Shandong province, the pants, and a long undershirt. Typically, three layers on top when indoors, maybe with a fourth sweater when the room I was in wasn’t heated and thick socks over regular ones. In Xuzhou I wore maybe the long underwear bottoms but not the top because my classroom actually has a heater in it, but I usually wore a sweater. When I visited Xi’an, Shaanxi (YueyangChang and 2hrs west of QishanWen), Nanjing, Jiangsu (MolingSu), and when I went to Chengdu, Sichuan (1.5 hours north of Meishan) I wore long underwear (though it was particularly cold that year in Chengdu). When I went to Hangzhou, Zhejiang (south of TingshanHe; Tingshan is hard to pinpoint), Changsha, Hunan (2 hours south of BalingOuyang), and Wuhan, Hubei (3 hrs north of BalingOuyang and 1.25 hours south of YunmengJiang) I had long underwear with me but didn’t necessarily wear it. I do remember in Wuhan this tree that had little pink blooms on it at the end of January. I didn’t have long underwear with me when I went to Chongqing, I could have sworn I actually went to Kuizhou Ancient City (or another Ancient City/Street) but I can’t find pictures from it. The city I visited before Chongqing, I visited an ancient city so I could be mixing these up. But I remember it being Chongqing and getting a foot massage in an open-air shop in an ancient street and being covered in blankets because it was pretty chilly.  

Comparative Temperatures based on their North Parallels

I live in Maine in the US, so a place with lots of snow. When I first came to China my family and I were looking at the map and thought that Maine and my city in Shandong looked to be in a line so the weather would be similar—it wasn’t, but it is a good theory; and something I spent a lot of time thinking might be sound as Maine and Shandong province aren’t on the same parallels so I thought there was still a chance that it would correlate elsewhere. The two most northern sects QingheNie at 37°04’ and LaolingQin 37°26’, according to Wikipedia, which continues to tell me that other notable places on the 37th parallel. The  37th parallel separates out Utah, Colorado, and Kansas on the north side from Arizona, New Mexico, and Oklahoma on the South. It also passes through the Mediterranean Sea; the Aegean Sea; the Caspian Sea; the Sea of Japan; the Yellow Sea; just south of Antequera, Spain; the island of Sicily, Italy; the island of  Honshū, Japan; Gilgit-Baltistan, Pakistan/India; and through Algeria, Tunisia, Turkey, Iraq, Iran, Turkmenistan, Afghanistan, Tajikistan, and South Korea.

I just moved to Zhengzhou, Henan (34°45′50″N), when I asked about the weather I was told it was comparable to Washington DC (38°54′17″N). I keep getting told that Zhengzhou is the centre of China and it is kind of the centre of where all the sects are: north 1.5 hours from YingchuanWang and 5.5 hours from YunmengJiang; south 3.5 hours from QingheNie; and east 6 hours from YueyangChan.

Conclusion for Winter Weather in Gusu and Summary of Chinese Summers

So, based on my experiences, any of the mountains in Suzhou just wouldn’t have a discernible temperature difference from the top of the mountain and the bottom of the mountain. And despite “Snow-covered views of the pretty canal towns of Suzhou in winter” I would assume that it doesn’t actually get that much snow.

So enough about how cold and snowy China is, summer-wise it is generally too, too hot. For the level of cold in the winter, I would have assumed there would be milder summers but where I have lived and visited that has not been the case. When I asked the teacher I was replacing in Shandong about the weather of the city I was told that it went from ‘freezing your pants off to fucking hot’ and it was true one day you’d be wearing a jacket and maybe for a week you’d be in jeans and a tee and then you’d be sweating while wearing the least amount of clothing possible. I’ve definitely seen 30°C days in May.

Rundown of the Climate, Average Temperatures, Rainfall, and Humidity for all MDZS Cities

So you don’t have to here is what Wikipedia says about the climate of the cities of the  different areas so you don’t have to look it up yourselves (pretty much copy and pasted):

Baling – (is present day Yueyang different characters and city from the YueyangChang Sect seat). The average high for the year is 21°C/69.7°F and the low 14.9°C/58.8°F.  January being the coldest month with an average low of 2.7°C/36.7°F and an average high of 8.1°C/46.6°F. July is the hottest month with an average low of 26.6°C/79.9°F and an average high of 32.2°C/90°F. Average humidity ranges from 73% in December to 79% in June (with a yearly average of 77%). The most average rainfall is in June, the rain heavy months being April-July, compared to the remaining months March and August also have a lot of rain.

Gusu - has a four-season humid subtropical climate with hot, humid summers and cool, cloudy, damp winters with occasional snowfall (Köppen climate classification Cfa). North-westerly winds blowing from Siberia during winter can cause temperatures to fall below freezing at night, while southerly or south-westerly winds during the summer can push temperatures above 35 °C (95 °F). The average high for the year is 19.9°C/67.8°F and the low 12.5°C/54.5°F.  January being the coldest month with an average low of 0.5°C/32.9°F and an average high of 7.7°C/45.9°F. July is the hottest month (by 0.1°C over August) with an average low of 24.8°C/76.6°F and an average high of 31.6°C/88.9°F. Average humidity ranges from 65% in November to 77% in July (with a yearly average of 71%). The most average rainfall is in September, the rain heavy months being June-September, April (102.3 mm) and May (114.5) are petty rainy too, May is still 14mm less rain then July (the lowest of the high rain months).

Kuizhou - has a humid subtropical climate (Köppen Cfa), bordering on a monsoonal humid subtropical climate (Köppen Cwa) and for most of the year experiences very high relative humidity, with all months above 75%. Known as one of the "Three Furnaces" of the Yangtze river, its summers are long and among the hottest and most humid in China, with highs of 33 to 34 °C (91 to 93 °F) in July and August in the urban area.Winters are short and somewhat mild, but damp and overcast. The city's location in the Sichuan Basin causes it to have one of the lowest annual sunshine totals nationally. With over 100 days of fog per year, is known as the "Fog City" The average high for the year is 22.1°C/71.8°F and the low 15.8°C/60.4°F.  January being the coldest month with an average low of 6.2°C/43.2°F and an average high of 10.3°C/50.5°F. August is the hottest month (by 0.2°C over July) with an average low of 24.7°C/76.5°F and an average high of 33.2°C/91.8°F. The most average rainfall is in June, the rain heavy months being June and July, but May and August are petty rainy too.

Lanling - has a monsoon-influenced climate with generous summer precipitation, cold, dry winters, and hot, humid summers. Under the Köppen climate classification, it is in the transition from the humid subtropical zone (Cwa) to the humid continental zone (Dwa), though favouring the former. More than half of the annual precipitation of 833 mm (32.8 in) falls in July and August alone, and the frost-free period is above 200 days. The average high for the year is 19.1°C/66.3°F and the low 9.5°C/49.1°F.  January being the coldest month with an average low of -4.3°C/24.3°F and an average high of 4.4°C/39.9°F. July is the hottest month (by 0.7°C over August) with an average low of 23°C/73.4°F and an average high of 30.7°C/87.3°F

Laoling - The average high for the year is 19.3°C/66.7°F and the low 9.4°C/48.9°F.  January being the coldest month with an average low of -5.6°C/21.9°F and an average high of 3.4°C/38.1°F. June is the hottest month with an average low of 20.2°C/68.4°F and an average high of 32.1°C/89.8°F. Average humidity ranges from 52% in March to 78% in August (with a yearly average of 63%). The most average rainfall is in July, the rain heavy months being July and August by quite a margin. July has on average 90 mm more rain then June (the month with the third highest rainfall).

Meishan - The average high for the year is 21.3°C/70.3°F and the low 14.3°C/57.7°F.  January being the coldest month with an average low of 4.1°C/39.4°F and an average high of 10.1°C/50.2°F. July is the hottest month (though the record high temperature was in August) with an average low of 22.9°C/73.2°F and an average high of 30.7°C/86.5°F. Average humidity ranges from 74% in May to 84% in January, August, October, and December (with a yearly average of 81%). The most average rainfall is in August, the rain heavy months being July and August, June (144 mm) and September (130.4) are petty rainy too, June is still 87mm less rainy then July (the lowest of the high rain months) and September gets 42.5mm more rain than the 5th rainiest month—May.

Moling - has a humid subtropical climate (Köppen Cfa) and is influenced by the East Asian monsoon. The four seasons are distinct, with damp conditions seen throughout the year, very hot and muggy summers, cold, damp winters, and in between, spring and autumn are of reasonable length. Known as one of the "Three Furnaces" along the Yangtze River for the perennially high temperatures in the summertime. However, the time from mid-June to the end of July is the plum blossom blooming season in which the meiyu (rainy season of East Asia; literally "plum rain") occurs, during which the city experiences a period of mild rain as well as dampness. Typhoons are uncommon but possible in the late stages of summer and early part of autumn. The annual mean temperature is around 15.91 °C (60.6 °F), with the monthly 24-hour average temperature ranging from 2.7 °C (36.9 °F) in January to 28.1 °C (82.6 °F) in July. Extremes since 1951 have ranged from −14.0 °C (7 °F) on 6 January 1955 to 40.7 °C (105 °F) on 22 August 1959. The average high for the year is 20.6°C/69.1°F and the low 12.1°C/53.8°F.  January being the coldest month with an average low of -0.7°C/30.7°F and an average high of 7.2°C/45°F. July is the hottest month with an average low of 24.9°C/76.8°F and an average high of 32.2°C/90°F. On average precipitation falls 115 days out of the year, and the average annual rainfall is 1,090 mm (43 in). The most average rainfall is in July, the rain heavy months being June through August. August (143.5mm) is the least rainy of the three and still gets on average 52.8 mm more rain then May the 4th rainiest month. July has the most days of rain (12.3), but both March (only 80.4mm) and August have the second most days of rain (11.8).With monthly percent possible sunshine ranging from 37 percent in March to 52 percent in August, the city receives 1,926 hours of bright sunshine annually. Average humidity ranges from 71% in April and May to 80% in July and August (with a yearly average of 75%).

Qinghe - has a continental, monsoon-influenced semi-arid climate (Köppen BSk), characterised by hot, humid summers due to the East Asian monsoon, and generally cold, windy, very dry winters that reflect the influence of the vast Siberian anticyclone. Spring can bear witness to sandstorms blowing in from the Mongolian steppe, accompanied by rapidly warming, but generally dry, conditions. Autumn is similar to spring in temperature and lack of rainfall. The annual rainfall, more than half of which falls in July and August alone, is highly variable and not reliable. The average high for the year is 19.6°C/67.2°F and the low 8.8°C/47.9°F.  January being the coldest month with an average low of -6.1°C/21°F and an average high of 3.9°C/39°F. June is the hottest month with an average low of 20.2°C/68.4°F and an average high of 32.1°C/89.8°F

Qishan - The average high for the year is 18.5°C/65.3°F and the low 9°C/48.1°F.  January being the coldest month with an average low of -3.5°C/25.7°F and an average high of 5.1°C/41.2°F. July is the hottest month with an average low of 21.1°C/70°F and an average high of 30.9°C/87.6°F. The record high temperature from (1971-2000) in January was 20.7°C/69.3°F which is the lowest of the record highs. The highest was in August at 41.6°C/106.9°F. The most average rainfall is in August but had the most days of rain in September (the rain heavy months being June-September).

Tingshan - The average high for the year is 20.5°C/68.9 °F and the low 13.1°C/55.6°F.  January being the coldest month with an average low of 0.9°C/33.6°F and an average high of 7.5°C/45.5°F. July is the hottest month with an average low of 25.3°C/77.5°F and an average high of 32.6°C/90.7°F. Average humidity ranges from 75% in April and May to 82% in September (with a yearly average of 78%). The most average rainfall is in June, the rain heavy months being June-August, March (121.2 mm), May (113.4mm), and September ( 109mm) are petty rainy too, March still has 34.2 mm less rain then August (the lowest of the high rain months). March also has the most days of rain (15.2), followed by June (14.8), then April and July (13.7).

Yiling - has a four-season, monsoon-influenced, humid subtropical climate (Köppen Cwa), with cool, damp and generally overcast winters, and hot, humid summers. The monthly 24-hour average temperature ranges from 5.0 °C (41.0 °F) in January to 27.7 °C (81.9 °F) in July, while the annual mean is 17.08 °C (62.7 °F). The average high for the year is 21.6°C/70.9°F and the low 13.7°C/56.6°F.  January being the coldest month with an average low of 2.2°C/36°F and an average high of 8.8°C/47.8°F. July is the hottest month with an average low of 24.3°C/75.7.°F and an average high of 32.3°C/90.1°F. Close to 70% of the annual precipitation of 1,160 mm (46 in) occurs from May to September. The most average rainfall is in July, the rain heavy months being June-August; May (124.4mm), and September (115.3mm) are petty rainy too, May still has17.8 mm less rain then June (the lowest of the high rain months). July has the most days of rain (15.1), followed by June (14.1), then May (13.5).With monthly percent possible sunshine ranging from 24% in January to 49% in August, the city receives 1,568 hours of bright sunshine annually, and summer is the sunniest season. Average humidity ranges from 73% in February, March, April and December to 80% in July (with a yearly average of 75%).

Yingchuan - has a monsoon-influenced humid subtropical climate (Köppen Cwa), with four distinct seasons. Winters are cool and dry, summers hot and humid, spring begins early and is warm, and autumn is mild and provides a reasonable transition. Rain mainly falls from May to September, as more than 70% of the annual precipitation occurs then. The city has an annual mean temperature of at 14.5 °C (58.1 °F), and its highest average monthly temperature is 27.1 °C (80.8 °F) in July and the lowest is 0.7 °C (33.3 °F) in January. Just over 700 millimetres (28 in) of precipitation falls each year, and there is on average 217 frost-free days and 2280 hours of sunshine per year. The average high for the year is 20.2°C/68.4°F and the low 9.7°C/49.5°F.  January being the coldest month with an average low of -3.6°C/25.5°F and an average high of 6.1°C/43°F. July is the hottest month (by 0.2°C over June) with an average low of 23.1°C/73.6°F and an average high of 32°C/89.6°F. The most average rainfall is in July, the rain heavy months being July and August; June (83.5mm) is petty rainy too, but June still has 38.2mm less rain then August (the lowest of the high rain months). July has the most days of rain (11.7), followed by August (10.6), then June (8.4).

Yueyang - has a temperate climate that is influenced by the East Asian monsoon, classified under the Köppen climate classification as situated on the borderline between a semi-arid climate (BSk) and humid subtropical climate (Cwa). The Wei River valley is characterised by hot, humid summers, cold, dry winters, and dry springs and autumns. Most of the annual precipitation is delivered from July (on average has the most rain) to late October with September having the most days of rain. Snow occasionally falls in winter but rarely settles for long. Dust storms often occur during March and April as the city rapidly warms up. Summer months also experience frequent but short thunderstorms. The average high for the year is 19.5°C/67.1°F and the low 9.7°C/49.5°F.  January being the coldest month with an average low of -3.3°C/26.1°F and an average high of 5.1°C/41.2°F. July is the hottest month with an average low of 22.3°C/72.1°F and an average high of 32.4°C/90.3°F. Average humidity ranges from 61% in June to 77% in September (with a yearly average of 68%)

Yunmeng - The average high for the year is 21.1°C/70°F and the low 12.8°C/55.1°F.  January being the coldest month with an average low of 0.2°C/32.4°F and an average high of 3.9°C/39°F. July is the hottest month (by 0.2°C over August) with an average low of 25.2°C/77.4°F and an average high of 32.2°C/90°F. Average humidity ranges from 75% in December to 83% in July (with a yearly average of 79%)

Dafan Mountain and Phoenix Mountian

That being said, I was trying to find Dafan Mountain on a map for a fanfic I was writing. I have a Chinese copy of MDZS and I was originally having trouble finding the characters used for Dafan Mountain. When I did, Baidu was not at all helpful every webpage was for MDZS and/or CQL. So I asked Dean who replied that he didn’t know, as the places in the book are all made up, at which time I sent him a copy of the map that my other friend had shown me with the actual names of the present day cities for the five main sects. And I did a search for “where is Dafan mountain” which worked for things like: “where is Moling”, for the Dafan search the results were things like which chapter/episode is Dafan or ‘where was Wen Ning before Dafan?’ My confusion came from the fact that the town below Dafan is called Buddha’s Feet—and I have been there. In Chongqing there is a district called Dazu (大足), Buddha’s Feet which had Buddhist cave paintings so there are also mountains. Edit: I went back and looked for pictures, it’s not actually very mountain-y and is named for some giant footprints.

It took longer to find, because as I had learned there is just too many ways that you could write Buddha’s Feet in Chinese and have it interpreted as Buddha’s Feet. In the book it is called 佛脚镇 (Fójiǎo Zhèn) or Buddha’s Foot town, which isn’t a real place in China according to Baidu. So for my own fic purposes I decided that it was going to be in Chongqing. And then later, when I was actually putting together a map on Google I double checked for places like Dafan and found one. 大梵山 Dafan Shan (same characters and everything) is a 207m mountain in South Korea called Keun Beom San (?) 큰범산.

Phoenix Mountain was another one that I had a hard time looking for in the book as there are multiple ways to say Phoenix in Chinese and it is generally a compound word including Feng (风) which usually means wind and the name of the mountain in Chinese is 百风山 (Bǎifèng shān) and could also be translated as the Hundred Wind Mountain. And all though it sounds like a very good mountain name ‘phoenix’ or ‘wind’-wise there is no such mountain that I could find.

My Own Map Making Explained

Before I made my own map I looked for other maps online, ones that talked about the smaller sects. For the purposes of my fic I needed to know where the YueyangChang clan was situated, and where Xue Yang would be, or coming from, or going to. I found this map online. It is a very good map but it uses the present day name instead of the book names so I got super confused. For example that map has a Liyang, Leling, and Yueling, none of which I could find on the MDZS wiki as being connected to a sect.

What I ended up doing is writing the names of the cities into Pleco, a Chinese-English dictionary app, so if I type in yueyang the first three are: Yuèyáng (岳阳) a prefecture-level city in Hunan; yuèyáng (越洋) a verb meaning cross the ocean; and yuè yáng (栎阳) a place in Shaanxi Province. I took the place names and searched for them in my Chinese copy of the book and hit on 栎阳. Then I put it in Baidu, Baidu Maps, and Apple Maps to see where it would turn up—it turned up in Xi’an. Well, Liyang from that second map is also 栎阳. And when I look at the map apps with pinyin the section of Xi’an in question is also labelled as Liyang.

Leling was harder—or easier I guess it depends on how you look at it. I ended up looking it up straight from the second map Pleco suggested 乐陵 the county level city in Dezhou, which I found in the book 乐陵秦—LaolingQin. This I don’t understand at all 乐 is lè or yuè and yet we call them LaolingQin. So there you have it. Edit: while writing the weather section (which I did after this though it comes first in the post) I A. realised I’d been writing Yaoling instead of Laoling and B. that the Laoling County-level City Wikipedia page said that Laoling often gets mispronounced as Leling because the character 乐 is only ever elsewhere lè or yuè.

Tingshan was the last one that gave me problems. It is written 亭山 and there are actually a couple mountains called Tingshan, with the same characters one near Qufu in Shandong province, and two in Zhejiang province one north of Hangzhou and the other sort of south of Hangzhou, in Shaoxing (the one that comes up the most often in Baidu searches). Then I found a Chinese site discussing the ancient city of Tingshan City which is “In today's Zhejiang Deqing County East 24 Li (1 Li = 0.5 km)” so I put Deqing county on my map and then realised that the same site says that Tingshan is also 200 paces southwest of the county and then mentions a Wuxing ji (吴兴记) but I could find a Wuxing District (吴兴区) of Huzhou City the same city as Deqing county. Wuxing was north east of Deqing and that was when I realised that the two possible dots of Tingshan on my map were close to the dot of Yueling on the second map I had found. And I found a Yueling (越岭) in Huzhou and it was southwest of Wuxing (not sure about 200 paces or not), so I differed to the wisdom of that second map.

I have made my own map with the labels of all places I could find on a map. I labelled them with the sect names or if they had no sect associated with them just the city name. Sadly Baixue Temple, Phoenix Mountain, Dust Creek Mountain, Mo Village, and Dafan Mountain/Buddha’s Feet (though my map does include Dazu in Chongqing, as a point of interest) could not be found and added to the map. And of course we have no clue where Sect leader Yao came from and I kind of wish we could send him back off into the nothing, but he is there to add strife I suppose.

River Travel- Lotus Pier wasn’t the closest Sect to Yiling

I got to a part in my own fic where I needed them to take a bout between Yiling and Yunmeng and realised that while Yiling is on the Yangtze, Yunmeng is not and instead is on a tributary of the Yangtze. I did a cursory search for ancient river boat speeds and found an archaeological paper that tested seven ancient boats one of which was a Singapore Sampan it wasn’t very fast. So I just decided to write it off as cultivating boats get people there faster.

Even though I had already wrote the boat scene of my fic when I was looking at my map I noticed Google’s measuring tool. So for fun, I used the Google Maps measuring tool to measure river distance between Yiling and Yunmeng after I put all the city markers on. Yiling is on the Yangtze and Yunmeng has a couple Yangtze tributaries that run through it that meet up in the Wuhan area. The Yangtze dips south after Yiling and then goes back up to Wuhan. Yiling to Yunmeng is 444 km by river if you leave the Yangtze by Jingzhou and travel through Chang Lake (I cheated and connected to Hanshui River with what looks like a manmade river, maybe, it is very straight and appears to cut through the lake) then it is a lot of small rivers to get to Yunmeng. I thought maybe even though the Yangtze goes further south and Wuhan is further east than Yunmeng since it is a bigger river it might still be shorter. However, 397 km east of Yiling following the Yangtze in Baling! I remember in CQL Sect Leader Yao suggests Lotus Pier after the second siege of the Burial Mounds (I might be remembering wrong), but well he appears friendly with Ouyang, and they are a smaller sect.

Conclusion

So, while the sects live in actual places, today they are generally just districts in larger cities, because the urbanisation of China has resulted in many villages becoming districts of bigger cities. And while some of the places in the book are made up (Yunping City being another one that I cannot find anywhere) they are reasonably named that they are not far outside of the realm of possibility. Also China is a large country that discourages people from moving around, as you always have to return to the place of your birth (or your parents’ birth) to get paperwork and the like for visas, etc. Therefore, I believe perhaps inside China the knowledge of where these places are or the height of their mountains or their amount of snow is not something that is thought about by people as much as I think of these things.