#I have exactly 0 memories of watching this show

[eelektrossfan]

Characters with goggles? Always awesome

[omni-present-god-send]

A short crack-fic

A short crack-fic I made based on @lets-try-some-writing

and their Unicron is a Dad AU. Enjoy. Or don't. I don't give a shit.

Basically: Unicron learns about that one time Megatron almost killed Raf with a blast of Dark Energon. Let's just say, don't try and kill a favorite child of a God of Chaos.

~

Unicron has been watching over the children for some time now. Always as Chitters. A small squirrel that Raf has brought on. He loaths to admit it, but the three children have very much become his favorites. Esspessially Miko. A child of his own spark.

Unfortunitly, this is not about Miko. It's about the youngest of his favorites. Rafael.

Of course the day started as normal. Chitters would chew some wires, Ratchet would try and cut him down; Chitters would remain victorious. 27:0 to be precise. But who's counting? Certanly not Unicron, definatly.

Then something...odd happened. Bulkhead shot at something on the wall. Whatever it was, Unicron couldn't give two shits, as Raf immediately hit the deck. Raf covered his head with his hands and started shaking. Violently.

"Raf! Are you ok? Hey hey hey. Breath." Jack soothed. Miko rubbed Raf's back as Chitters slowly crawled his way to Raf's face. Rubbing his head against Raf's tear-stained cheek.

It took every ounce of self-restraint for Unicron to not smite Bulkhead right then and there. It was only what Jack said next that stopped Unicron in his, metaphorical, tracks. "It's alright Raf. Megatron can't hurt you here." He said it so quietly that Unicron almost couldn't hear it. He decided to wait on any smiting until after he got more information.

That turned out to be a very wise decision. As, that night, Unicron paid Raf a special visit. It was not uncommon for Unicron to visit his little ones. Especially his Special Three. NEver telling them who he actually was, out of respect for their fears. What? He may care for them but he is a God of Chaos and they know it. He doesn't exactly have a reputation for being super caring. This visit was different form his previous ones. He was not just here to comfort Raf after his day. He needed to know what happened.

As Unicron sang an ancient song to bring comfort and safety. He did a bit of exploring in Raf’s memory. Nothing invasive mind you. Just enough to get the information he needed. What he found sent fire through his very spark.

Megatron had nearly killed Raf. Deliberately. Firing a blast of Dark Energon at Bumblebee with Raf inside. A little more investigation was required. The next night he went to Jack. Then the next, Miko. He found memories of Raf’s near corpse. The felt the panic. The fear. The pain. The anger.

In his search, Unicron gained something other then just a new-found anger at Megatron. His opinion of the Special Three have changed as well. Not in a negative way. Each night just further proved why they were each the favorite.

Raf stayed alive for over an hour out of sheer force of will after the blast. Jack tried to be level headed and came up with practical solutions to help Raf survive. Miko, once again showing their similarities, made so many detailed plans to make Megatron suffer it was almost concerning. Each one got a special song those nights. Unicron had almost forgotten how much he enjoyed singing.

Unicron was furious. His once chosen champion, had tried to kill one of his favorite Children. This would not stand. The good thing about his brothers children is that they didn’t sleep, not like his superior children at least. So it was incredibly easy to torment Megatron.

For days Unicron tormented Megatron. Visions of Optimus ripping his face off. Of dying in the endless vacuum of space. Of rusting at the bottom of the ocean. Of getting his still beating spark ripped out. That last one was straight from Miko.

Unicron watched in amusement as Megatron became more and more paranoid. Praying to him, asking what all the visions mean.

While this was happening, Things were slow back at base. Chitters was still winning. 30:0. Things had quieted down. As since Megatron was being plagued by visions of his demise, the Decepticons have had little activity.

As much as Unicron loved tormenting Megatron. His focus would always be his children. His Special Three.

I wrote this instead of doing my math homework lmao.

[deadguywalkin]

seb+sam+alex hcs because i am STILL gay and extremely evil + some pre t seb hcs because… sigh

( sam+alex centric!! aside from the last part )

cw: dramatic switch from ‘yeah alex and sam are traumatized’ to ‘sam likes boobs’. that pretty much sums this up. (minimal nsfw and most of it is jokey)

jewelry:

alex: minimal. no rings or bracelets because they get in the way. ‘does sam’s pick count? c’mon, i’m an edgy boy too!!’

sam: medium. face piercings and some rings

sebastian: not actually that much, but he only wears silver. gothic necklaces of dragons on swords, silver rings, and the likes. maybe even a blood vial.

hands:

alex: missing his whole index finger?? big big hands with some little scars. engulfs whoever’s hand he’s holding.

sam: calloused fingers, tiny scars from hurting himself a lot on accident. he has very shaky hands. also has his little memory bands

sebastian: thin fingers and careful, steady hands. chipped black nail polish. there is more of a reddish tint on his knuckles.

—————

sebastian carries bandaids on him because sam is an idiot and alex is also an idiot (they’re not idiots they just have 0 spatial awareness)

alex wears sam’s guitar pick as a necklace. i refuse to draw him without it

alex carries their band equipment when sam whines about being too lazy to do it

seb never gets scared during horror movies or any horror experiences. however samalex are gripping onto each other like they’re about to die

alex cannot bear to watch super violent graphic stuff for obvious reasons. sambastian will always skip those parts ahead in movies for him because they already know. not that he can’t do it himself, but it’s just a small gesture.

alex is a huge ‘i’m sorry, did i do something wrong? I’m really sorry. you can tell me if i did.’ kind of guy when the vibes are off. he just has a fear of being useless or annoying and needs to be reassured.

sam needs to be reassured that he doesn’t have to always take care of everyone or constantly be the emotional support beacon. he also needs some support and to take a break!!

sam just has his best friends memorized by heart. ‘you were gonna ask abbie to hang out..? bro, don’t you know? she’s gonna have a headache tomorrow.’

sam has a habit of biting at his lips, ‘my mouth gets bored!

samalex are insanely emotionally intelligent, compassionate and understanding even if they’re not all there. they’re more tender and sweet when it comes to someone opening up and just know exactly what to say and what they need to hear.

on sebs end, he’s pretty bad at reading people and understanding everyone even if he’s smarter than the other two are. he’s quick to get it but doesn’t know how to comfort people and is more of a chill ‘oh.. that sucks, dude. me too, anyways, wanna light a blunt and talk about it?’ kind of guy

^^ he’s only good at that stuff when it comes to understanding books/movies/music. that’s where it’s over for samalex (sam aside from the music part

“what are you watching?”

“a 6 hour commentary video about sonic.exe”

“adventure time!!”

“black mirror.”

“oh..”

(sam has a short attention span but locks in when it comes to commentary videos about random niche shit)

pre-t trans seb down here

alex to pre top surgery seb: “c’mere.. stress balls”

post top surgery seb to alex: “c’mere.. stress balls.”

sam just enjoys having his face stuffed in boobs. doesn’t care wether they’re pecs ‘boobs’ or regular boobs.

seb is confident in his gender pre t or not. he’s more of a ‘i genuinely believe and know i am a man’ than a ‘i want to be a man’

..as confident as he is and as much as he loves them, he feels a slight resentment to samalex because he just feels this hint of jealousy and insecurity around them. they’re just such big representations of masculinity. it makes him feel a little sick that he feels that way because he knows he should love and appreciate them for being patient, he just can’t help it. he will find himself comparing them to him.

sebastian randomly showed up at sam’s house on a random night when he was younger and came out to him before he asked for help cutting all of his hair off. he already had his emo shag but ended up keeping it 

seb has a hard time remembering to take his binder off.. though it makes him feel better in his skin, his ribs are about to explode.

cuddling and then a hand just reaches up and.. squeeze (seb doesn’t even question it)

this ones a bit of a shorter dump;p

[hikennosabo]

#tristampparty day 12, episode 0: high noon at july

LAST DAY OF @tristampparty ALREADY LET'S GOOOOOO

bang, bang!! nai liking movies is such a cute little detail, (it's in the manga too!!) i don't think it gets talked about enough. he went from thinking gunslinging heroes were cool to guns being a coward's weapon...

i still can't really fully wrap my head around the higher dimension... it contains the "core" of the plants and... it's where plants pull matter and energy from...? yeah i CANNOT fathom it actually

also like. how did humans even discover how plants worked and what they could do. assuming the lore is the same as in the manga (for what lore there is in the manga...) and humans created plants. who what when where why how. humans made plants and use plants every day yet they're such a black box... uuaaaaa (steam comes out of my ears from thinking too hard)

zazie's priority lies with the planet itself and whether or not worms will be able to continue to live and thrive on it, but i wish we got to see more of what the worms need to like. actually live and survive. they have a hivemind so they can't truly "die" (i guess unless every single worm is wiped out), but what do they need to live? we see that the giant worms eat humans, but what did they eat before humans crashed on the planet? tomas? other worms? do they photosynthesize? do they need to breathe? humans use worms for food and resources, but what exactly would knives have do to the planet to make it unlivable for the worms?

the song that vash sings is... the song knives plays on his piano. in the original/98, the song that was important to vash was rem's song. here, that... may or may not be the case...? vash says the song "just comes to him," but in this scene he's forgotten rem... then again, the song isn't what helps him remember her.

there was a theory post from a while ago that posited this song is the voice, or... frequency of the plants(?) which could very well be the case. vash and knives taking that frequency and singing or playing it in a way humans can hear... rem was onto something when she called them a bridge.

i wonder how much of this scene is an actual memory. maybe vash did sing that song, and nai heard it, and they played it on the piano together. and that's why knives continues to play it in the present day.

maybe i'll go eat some rocks.

this is reminding me of... in the manga when vash escaped from the ark and knives was begging him not to go. it's... yeah, pretty much the same. different scenario, but the same.

this sequence is so gorgeous... once again i'm asking how people ever thought this anime looked bad. lmao.

BUT MY MAIN QUESTION IS THIS!!! IS THIS REALLY REM SPEAKING TO VASH HERE? we know that in trimax, ghosts kind of exist, right? like tesla appearing to the twins, wolfwood appearing to livio... is this a similar case? what's happening on the "outside" is meryl's voice reaching through to vash, right? so is this more like, meryl's presence reminds vash of rem, so this is what vash wishes he could hear from her? like is this coming from his subconscious? or... is it really the spirit of rem somehow...

i'm overthinking it. i'm overthinking it.

i wonder what rem's ghost would say to knives.

i'm obsessed with the fight that comes after. OBSESSED. screencaps don't do it justice, i love the weightiness, the camerawork, the choreography... IT'S JUST FUN TO WATCH!!!!

THE BITE HAS BEEN POSTED SO MANY TIMES BUT I LOVE IT SO MUCH IT'S SO FUNNY. outside of when they were kids, this is the most they've acted like siblings this whole show and i love it.

why are his boobs so big

and then there's the wings. the wings... and their context. manga readers know. they're a symbol of, hmm... not forgiveness, but... the first step to it, maybe. the love between them. flying to safety. supporting each other. being side-by-side. right?

they're using their wings to fight each other right now, so i'm sure the plan is to hit us with the wings again at the end for maximum emotional impact. the fact that they both have one wing each makes that extremely fucking obvious, i think. (remember in the manga vash sprouted 2 wings at first, which he couldn't sustain)

I JUST LOVE THIS SHOT. IT'S SO COOL.

oh. ohhhhhhh.

it's so interesting that the angel arm comes from vash combining(?) the cube with his gun... does this mean angel arms can't manifest normally? like, do you need the cube? or does the cube just make it easier? and what about knives, can he manifest his?? like this can't be the one and only appearance of the angel arm in tristamp, right, we're gonna need it again for the fifth moon and the ark escape, right??

(assuming those events will even happen in tristamp, but fifth moon AT LEAST is like. a constant in all timelines, i feel. like how time travel stories have "nodes" that can't be changed, right? but this isn't actually that kind of story. so who knows.)

...huuuuhhhh and i just noticed vash's prosthetic arm disappears when he manifests the angel arm. umm... i'm not entire sure what that means. is it because his gate was in his left arm...?

hey where'd she get those binoculars

crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch (i'm chewing on rocks)

CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH

CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH

"since when have we been so different"... kills me in so many ways, but... in episode 3 vash says that knives hasn't changed. ("since that time," he says, which i assume is referring to the flashback scene in episode 9.) and knives says right back at you. but here, vash is basically saying, who are you. you're unrecognizable to me now. that's literally what he says in the dub. and again knives says right back at you. "you haven't changed." "i could say the same of you." "who are you?" "who are you?" they're brothers. they haven't changed. they've changed so much. they know each other better than anyone else. they don't recognize each other anymore. they love each other. did they ever really know each other?

crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch.

when i first watched tristamp the significance of this all was lost on me. i didn't know any context.

i didn't know that the original trigun started with july already destroyed. i didn't know vash's original bounty. i didn't catch the insurance department mention, or who eriks was, or chronica, or what it meant that the earth fleet was going to arrive, or this being numbered "episode 0"... nothing. all of it went completely over my head. oh i knew milly though. milly is forever.

but now i'm people who know. and i think orange's decision to adapt the story like this, to make it a prequel... is fucking ballsy and cool and i respect it.

that being said, i still don't understand what zazie is talking about... and how they know this. i don't understand all the scifi technobabble with chronica at the end either... what i'm assuming is that the earth forces are keeping tabs on the higher plane(??) and/or on gate readings(?) and... were alerted to what was going on that way? does "crossing over the wall of light" just mean they're using warp drive? why can't zazie talk normally.

uagh. what a fucking journey, man, and it hasn't even begun yet. glad i got to rewatch and go a little crazy. i think the fixation is beginning to fade a little bit (it's been long enough, this is how my brain cycles through things) but the brainrot never truly goes away. girl with plant twins icon gets emotional about the plant twins once again, more at 11.

ty to @revenantghost for organizing i had fun!! :'D

[brucewaynehater101]

In a response to an earlier ask, you said that you believe some non-human entities try to disguise themselves as human in order to blend in. Yes, very much so. HC that if H.A.R.D.A.C. is a thing in this universe (Silken Emperor AU) there's still a couple of Duplicants just sort of...minding their own business and praying Batman doesn't catch wind of their existence.

Cause, hoo boy, their creator was insane, and it's actually kind of logical that a sudden uptick in Duplicants from "0" means H.A.R.D.A.C. is back, but they don't want to revive him, he was a douchebag. Heck, maybe some of the Duplicants don't figure it out until they get mugged in an alleyway and stabbed and instead of blood and flesh, they see sparks and wires.

What are Duplicants, you might ask? (SKIP THIS SECTION IF YOU WISH TO AVOID SPOILERS FOR A TV SHOW THAT RAN IN THE EARLY TO MID 90S, OR IF YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT) They were these pliant robotic clones from BTAS, sort of like Synths from "Fallout 4", that H.A.R.D.A.C. tried to replace key Gothamites with in the 2-part episode "Heart Of Steel", as a prelude to replacing all of mankind with them, thus "curing" mankind of all its ills. In the follow-up episode "His Silicon Soul", (SPOILER ALERT FOR THE FULL PLOT OF THE EPISODE) a Duplicant of Batman wakes up in a crate in some warehouse in Gotham (there's a lot of those) and stops a robbery, and eventually finds out he's mechanical.

Poor guy goes through all this angst, thinking he's the real Bruce Wayne and is stuck in a robot body somehow, and in his detective investigations he finds A. He's not the real Bruce Wayne (according to the man who built H.A.R.D.A.C. in the first place) and B. A chip containing the last backup of H.A.R.D.A.C.'s consciousness that his programming forces him to put it into his data drive. (Literally, his hand moves of its own accord and he's trying to stop it with the other.) He then gets brainwashed by the H.A.R.D.A.C. remnant, fights Batman in a greenhouse (I think?) and almost uploads H.A.R.D.A.C. to the Bat Computer before the real Batman returns, Batman manages to convince him they aren't that different after all and both care about human life (Robo-Bats saved a dude while the greenhouse was collapsing), then there's this brief bit where the fight resumes and Robo-Bats thinks he killed Real Bats, he has a full on sobbing breakdown, and smashes the Bat-Computer so H.A.R.D.A.C. wouldn't be able to upload to the Internet and eradicate mankind, presumably killing H.A.R.D.A.C. or at least corrupting the fuck out of his files. By so doing, his circuitry was fried by electrocution. Robo-Bats sacrificed himself so mankind could live, and the episode ends with Real-Batman saying to Robin that he (Robo Bats), had a soul. "A soul of silicon, but a soul nonetheless." Roll credits.

I appreciate the explanation and the coverage of what happens in the show (as well as the warnings for spoilers for those who are trying to watch it).

It is an interesting dimension to add to where some Duplicants are unaware of their non-human status. To add onto their issues with identity (because suddenly learning you're not human would fuck with your mind), they also have consider the legal aspect of whether they have rights. They have to consider the social aspect of whether humans consider them capable of emotions and thoughts. It's so incredibly fucked, but in a compelling way.

I saw someone mention how cool it would be for an AU where Bruce basically pulled an Astro Boy (created a robot replicate after Jason dies) and thus creates Tim. You can add that idea, but instead H.A.R.D.A.C. tried made a Duplicate of Robin before Dick became Nightwing or before Jason dies.

I don't know much about this canon material, but there's a few ways to play around with what memories Tim does have:

He could have memories closer to the Tim of JJ so his backstory is closer to Jason's

He could only have the memories of "Robin" and this is how Tim finds out he's not actually Robin. He runs away, gets adopted by the Drakes, and "grows up" that way

Tons to play around with.

Anyways, Tim, who was supposed to be Robin's duplicate, knocks on Bruce's door post Jason's death. This causes Angst, obviously, especially because Tim looks eerily similar to a younger Jason or Dick.

[liliasmaestra]

Well, that was the completely unsatisfactory male-centred bullshit I was worried about.

The Wonder Twink can make the Road real but doesn't even try to fix the Coven's deaths despite his crying about it.

Literally the entire show was a vehicle for his manpain, including the suffering and deaths of the women, gee, if only some of us saw this coming.

Agatha experiences 0 growth. She's still avoiding everything, still just power hungry, no coven only using the zombie for her agenda.

Agatha literally dies for the narrative purpose of becoming his "guide" ("iN ThE cOmICs" a lot of things that happen in comics are in fact terribly written dogshit!)

The fight between Agatha and Rio was boring and ruined by Pound Land Superman's useless interjections, they wasted Aubrey's big moment.

Literally the same fatal flaw as Wandavision in turning into a typical superhero CGI fest at the end.

Apparently Agatha COULD control her powers this entire time? If only the narrative confronted that at all.

I did like Rio's indignation at being called evil; her use of nature and explanation of herself were the best part of the finale.

Pacing was a mess both episodes, zipping through what should've been the big scenes and crawling through everything else.

The Kaplans get five seconds of screentime where nothing gets explained except one line of exposition that dipshit mcgee was gone 24 hours.

Jen flying away looked weird, then again all the flying in the MCU looks laughable to me

Her being the Path Ahead was, what, set up for Midnight Sons(/Suns)? A weird vaguerie about her flying into a new day? Because we got two minutes of grappling with Agatha being the reason she was bound and then poof. Disappointing.

I did like that we got time with Jen's grief over Lilia. I'm going to headcanon that she took care of closing up Lilia's business and is the real carrier of Lilia and Alice's memories.

RIP Sharon you were just a redshirt after all.

What happened to Senor Scratchy?

The forced Wandavision parallel after the big battle.... embarrassing.

Poor Tommy/Whoever has the most fucked up existence that will not be appropriately confronted ever.

The kids shouldn't exist, Rio's right.

No explanation of Mr Magoo suddenly having a costume or his full abilities. OK.

I don't mind Agatha being a villainous bitch, it's sexy and fun, but it doesn't jive with what we've been watching even with the winks and nods, or with her becoming Wonderbread's personal ghost.

Lilia saw the future to warn Agatha how, exactly? Her visions that we explicitly saw on the show are a result of her being unbound in time and experiencing moments randomly. They did not show us a witch with pure divination powers ala Trelawney. I can believe she has those powers but they never showed us that clearly.

Actually quite shitty to have Alice lampshade how unfair her death is!

I can't get over Jac Schaeffer bragging about breaking MCU death norms because, honey, killing off or otherwise shoving to the margins all the women around your special white man who faces no real danger or consequence or test is in fact the most tired trope on fiction not just the MCU.

Agatha creating the Ballad with Nicky was a a bit of a foregone conclusion, and Nicky in general only existed as a plot device so its hard for me to care about him either way.

They really wasted Agatha's true rage, which was engaging and earnt, and the idea of being trapped on the Road.

Even the flashbacks are just set up for her imprinting on Mr Misogyny.

Agatha hates Rio now? Full on? It was all manipulation but also she's an idiot who apparently doesn't understand that if she wasn't a serial killer she wouldn't be stalked by Death so much?

The entire 'end' to that relationship is nonsensical and the beginning is nonexistent.

Agatha does a 180 because Billy No Boundaries invades her mind and invokes Nicky, ugh.

I guess "Agatha All Along" refers to the Road being a scam/her turning into a ghost?

No real time spent exploring the ramifications of everything being created by Billiam, just him whining about his manpain over it.

Honestly, I was just so very bored as soon as it became clear everything was indeed going to be about Palette-Swapped-Arrow.

Everyone I know IRL is confused and unsatisfied by the ending, and these are people who were so excited the past two months and some of them even started watching MCU stuff just because of this show. So that's sad.

[pleasedontcareaboutme]

Ah so hm. I might get a bit emotional right now, but I just felt the need to express how I felt during these 3 days. This is going to be long.

So I know that all the tours broadcasted are not new. Technically there shouldn't be anything suprising watching them, right.

But I feel like the combination of the 3 is new. And I strongly feel their combination was not an accident. The members I'm sure chose these 3 specific tours with careful consideration. I can't tell you why exactly, because I don't know them personally. But I do have some theories. I feel like at first sight these 3 shows have nothing in common, but there was a similar feeling I felt during all 3 days.

On the first day, during No. 0, there was so much energy. It truly felt like they chose this tour to bring up the spirits a bit. Of course it does deal with heavier themes; but which Buck- Tick album doesn't. I still believe it's one of their most fun tours out there.

But what's so special about No. 0- Is it has a theme.

"The idea of life as an endless cycle, represented by a circle which returns to its starting point upon completion." No. 0.

Beginnings and endings;

"beginning with the feeling of life coming into existence to the dynamic sound of “Reishiki Juusan-Gata ‘Ai’ ”, and ending with the calls of love filled with open emotion during a person’s final days in “Tainai Kaiki”. Yet, without leaning towards the serious, it appears that the sublimation of the “joy of life” is the heart of this tour. Although his words may differ, here and there, at different points in time during this tour, Sakurai appears to be implying “I wish everyone happiness”, and those feelings of his are, once again, unforgettable."

The opening song, Reishiki, implies "the inherent dual nature of experience - how joy cannot exist without pain."

Despite the overflowing tears, we must push on. Because this song was deliberately made as a loop with the last song, there is a feeling of continuity, rather, a sense of rebirth. That "Death is not that which separates but rather, an extension of life."

sky in the shade of cobalt blue

running with tears that overflow

into my life now gushing and rushing on

rioting soul 

You know forget-me-not?

Do you see them bloom?

And I'll be going now

Right to the place under Love's name, standing...

While Tainai Kaiki might seem like a sad closer- there is that sense of new beginnings mentioned in here too.

In Reishiki there is a line, to be exact the last line, that goes: your name is "love"

Notice the line in Tainai Kaiki? Going to the place under love's name

The dead do not disappear. They live on through people who love them.

There is a feeling here, that one must remember the deceased, carrying the love and memory of their lost loved ones. But in order for life to reach it's full circle, one must remember to live as well. We have to keep on going, one way or another. With a rioting soul, a flaming heart. There will be tears, but with love, our souls uniting as one, with an "explosion" , we can take one step forward at a time.

Melody listen to your heartbeat

Harmony exploding sound in the womb

Melody listen to my heartbeat

The second day, Show after dark was shown. Much more romantic, heavier atmosphere, but despite all of that, a mix of a good variety of fun music. I honestly think the most notable thing in this tour choice is the title of it.

Show after dark? Indeed. The whole tour had a very versatile setlist, but not only that, there were lots of contrasting feelings, again, the theme of joy and pain coexisting.

It really is how things will be from now on. But have they not always been like that? It's just the pain now is more tangible, it's different. But the joy will be all that much better after.

This show was one of their first ones after the Covid restrictions, which were also dark times, so what the members have said resonates with the current situation pretty well.

Go-Go B-T TRAIN, Sakurai said, “At last, we’ve boarded the B-T TRAIN. Here and now, I’d like for us to forget about what’s happened this year and look forward to doing lots of concerts next year.”

The common message put forth by them was, “Let’s go, Let’s head into the future"

The theme of life's never ending circle also was apparent here.

The first song was Diabolo, with the lines: Come, come over, come and have a peep in

Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, Baby!

Every inch dripping with love—enjoy!

These same lines show up in the last song (excluding encore) Alice in wonder underground, creating the feeling of a never ending parade yet again.

"The B-T TRAIN has just started running again to cut through this infinite darkness and head into the future. I hope that you won’t miss out and will have fun on this train ride through a year to remember."

And lastly, Izora. A sadistic choice I would say, but the perfect one. Their last live together as 5..or is it?

Hm. Starting with Scarecrow- an energetic song about wanting to run away from an unavoidable situation, but to no avail.

I think chosing to play Izora today was exactly what they were going for- to make us face reality in a way, to stop running away. In scarecrow there is also an implication of the "protagonist coming to an understanding and acceptance of their situation"

I don't think we have to accept the situation yet. I don't think we have to stop running away. Sometimes it's okay to escape. Honestly I spend hours writing these, but I still cry about what happened. And that's okay. But I can't live happily if I just straight up avoid the situation. That would eat me up alive. So I think that's what's most important- that we all take our own time with the grief, we don't have to hurry. If you are not ready to accept it yet, that's okay, I'm not ready yet either. But one day we will have to come to terms with it. One day. And I think that's what the rest of the members want too, I'm sure they haven't accepted it entirely yet either.

Despite the gut wrenching sadness of watching Izora, there was a warmth I was feeling. I can't explain what kind, but during the last song- Namonaki Watashi- I felt it the most evident.

Fellow flowers blooming out of season, bloom profusely now!

Fellow flowers blooming out of season, together live wild, wild, wild!

This song could definitely be seen as a departing song. A bittersweet ending. But that's not what I feel from it, not at all.

It's a beautiful sign of the mutual love between Atsushi and his fans( and family/friends) . To him, who is nameless, we gave life. To us, who are nameless, he gave life. And now that he is gone, he wants us to continue living wildly, blooming profusely.

"Thinking of himself as that flower blooming on its own, critters coming to it, being blown by the wind and equally rained upon despite having no name. He describes the song as a story of life with encounters and the eventual farewells."

"It’s a life after all. A life that doesn’t speak. Just like the sun, the wind, the rain, insects. Of course, the grass and the trees are also part of all these lives that are connected. And I think it’s all simply amazing. These lives that exist without saying a word."

I would like to think, that as long as there are some many people loving Atsushi, he is having a great time, wherever he is. If he wishes to continue singing, I'm sure he is still here, lingering around the concert halls, becoming the wind, the clouds, insects, sunshine.

It hurts so badly. But. I don't want to forget you. So I will keep on writing these long posts. And spread your memory everywhere. Honestly I think it was really great I watched these streams, because now I have a clear cut idea of what I have to do. - I have to continue to grieve as long as I need to, but I need to live a life, where I am fine with his absence too. I'm right now far away from that - I don't know if that time will ever come. This is not the first time I've experienced grief and honestly - I still have not accepted that either. But I keep on waking up, allow myself to cry, then try to do better each day. Live on with the love these people gave me. Turn it into art, kindness, love. When I'm suffering, the hole seems so much bigger, so I'll try not to suffer, and I hope whoever reads this doesn't suffer either. Love 🤍🤍

I'm sorry this became super long. I'm debating wheter I should post it, but I think being open with my emotions also allows me to heal a bit more. And maybe doing it on the internet is not the best idea, but honestly, if even at least one person reads this and maybe feels better, then I'm happy.

I don't think I'm very smart, I probably take everything the wrong way and understand things not the intended way. So consider this just an emotional outburst of someone insignificant, not factual.

Also anything written in italics is not my own words. I mostly got them out of different Jrock archives translated interviews, from Cayce's site, and some I just found scattered on the internet.

[thyandrawrites]

Dabi's dance

I'm losing my mind. The episode was SO GOOD. Have some scattered thoughts and reactions (spoiler-heavy stuff under the cut):

I had full faith that Shimono would do a stellar job with his voice acting but his performance went above and beyond my expectations. He gave me literal chills. The range of emotions he managed to fit into Dabi's lines? *chef kiss* The way he kept jumping between maddened elation and sadness, between righteous despair and chilling fury?? Stunning. Spectacular.

I think my favourite part was when he said "Why didn't you notice I was your son?" and managed to inject that simple line with contempt, hurt and disappointment at the same time. Incredible

Second best part was when Dabi went from yelling "You don't know anything, so let me break it to you" with seething rage and frustration to the chilling way he uttered the line right after, "You can never get away from your past". HHHHHHHHHH I think I lost my mind there. It was SO GOOD. The shift from frenzied anger to that ice-cold voice, coupled with the punch of that line gives you whiplash in the best possible way, and perfectly encapsulates the range of Dabi's emotions there. He's spiralling, yes, but he's not spouting nonsense because he's "crazy". He's furious because Enji thought he could move on without him, move on from Touya.

The close-up to his despairing pose when he says "I wanted to make you happy," a hand clutching his head and gripping his hair like when he was a kid, and his voice going all soft and kinda self-deprecatory... CHILLS

On a completely different note, the special hair dye remover changing Dabi's hair color like a magical girl transformation made me laugh. On behalf of the moon, he will punish you and send you into a flaming hell

THE DANCING. Okay, this one was a surprise. I went into the ep with 0 expectations for the actual dancing bit, having no idea how they would animate it and fearing a shitty adaptation, but I really liked what they did. His moves are exactly as awkward and frenzied as I expected them to be when I read the manga, but I feel like the anime better conveys Dabi's mental state through the whole thing (as it's supposed to, being a fluid visual media that conveys movement better than any stills ever could). Overall, his "dance" gave me the feeling of a puppet that got its strings abruptly cut off and moved like a broken toy. It wasn't a victory dance and it wasn't supposed to. The anime made it clear it was just Dabi working through his adrenaline. The first moves, the clapping, the arms moving wildly around with no clear pattern, the broad sweeping gestures, the way he seemingly doesn't know what to do with his limbs... it was the perfect depiction of Dabi letting out the energy building up under his skin, the same energy that draws on his emotions. He was drunk on a cocktail of conflicting feelings and his "dance" was a great visual way of showing that

Baby Touya was so small and precious TT_TT I felt my heart breaking for him all over again, and all the little glimpses we got crushed my soul. The card in the ending was a special low blow

Infant Touya struggling to stand on his tiny toddler feet *bawls*

Fuyumi and the flower... cries... now if only all of Bones' additions were good content like this...

Natsuo watching the broadcast on his phone... idk why but that scene punched me in the chest harder than it did when I read the manga. I'm gonna go cry

Fuyumi having colleagues right there with her as she watched too... another addition but I liked the detail of the guy looking worriedly at her instead of the screen

I'm not super thrilled that they added the still of Dabi looking like this:

at this point of the story, because the original panel comes from much later, and it's supposed to depict Dabi from Enji's distorted POV, the way he pictures him in his memories. But I'm so happy about the whole ep that I'm gonna let this slide. Dabi should look a bit unhinged. It's his best flavor after all

Man, Endvr's fanboy is just as annoying as I remembered. "His lies won't shake our faith in our hero" WELL MAYBE THEY SHOULD. MAYBE PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE EXACTLY THE KIND OF PEOPLE DABI'S CALLING OUT. Wouldn't that be crazy

Ha! they didn't show Hawks slicing Twice's back open, lol. Just a still. But hey, they had to keep it pg I guess. Let it not be said that Dabi doesn't think of the children /j

Kaji (Shouto's VA) also did an incredible job. The sheer panic in Shouto's voice when Dabi was plummeting towards them gave me chills. My boy was SCARED and CONFUSED and barely keeping his shit together himself and my heart broke for him. Now I'm really looking forward to his performance (and Shimono's) in the next ep, knowing what's coming

[bettsfic]

(Love on Display is the series name for ASE and its sequel)

okay so for this commentary i went through my ASE tag to read the asks i'd gotten about it because i can't really remember the whole process, and found this response i'd written:

you know how like when you read or watch something, you kind of look for the character you relate to most? when i was rereading the hunger games last month i was thinking, i don’t relate to a single one of you bitches. and then annie shows up like “nope nope nope i can handle exactly 0% of this bullshit” and i was just, ah there i am

looking back on my mental health issues, the irony is that i was writing about madness in a time i was actually pretty stable, despite the pandemic being in full swing. i remember writing ASE throughout summer, sitting on my grandma's porch swing and admiring her garden, going inside only when it got dark enough for the fireflies to come out. at the time, i was approaching my third year of rejections on the original fiction front; i'd been querying agents for over a year and submitting short stories, and i felt like i wasn't getting anywhere. i was also about to start a phd program, which i was apprehensive about, to say the least. i wish i'd listened to that "i have a bad feeling about this" instinct.

tbosas had just come out (to almost no attention or acclaim; even now with the film coming out in a couple weeks, the gifsets i've been reblogging don't get a lot of traffic and the tag only has 250 fics in it) and so i read it, loved it, and immediately re-read the hunger games with the new lens of snow's origin story.

the hunger games is one of the few things that i think is completely worth the hype. it's a beautifully written series and i really admire it. tbosas i thought was even better, because it felt like suzanne collins had full creative control. it's not easy writing a villain origin story and i think she really managed to thread the needle with coriolanus as a POV character who is really the antagonist of two protagonists whose POVs we don't have access to.

anyway as soon as i finished re-reading the hunger games, i went back to read the one thg fic i'd written after the film series concluded, the baker's son. it wasn't as bad as i remembered it, because 2015-16 were the years i was really starting to figure out how to write, so everything from that time in my memory is hand-wavy at best. but i remember thinking, this could have been really good if i'd just taken my time with it.

back then, i never took my time with anything. i had so many ideas that i had to churn through them in order to get to the next one. when you're just starting out writing, you haven't followed through on enough ideas to know how to sort through them properly and find the ones that have legs. so i was still learning how to control my attention.

and so ASE marked a huge change in the way i viewed my own work and the reception thereof. i was getting nowhere in publishing, i was no longer in one single fandom and so i didn't really have a community, and i finally realized the only guarantee i would ever have is my own joy. that changed everything.

i know i'll always love the hunger games, because i genuinely believe it's good. it's engaging and entertaining and meaningful. before, i'd written for canons i actually didn't like, because communities had formed around them and i was inspired by what i felt was unmet potential in canon. but i know i'll never rewatch supernatural or the 100. in fact i didn't finish either of them. with big fandoms, sure, i get more traffic and comments. but i'd stopped writing for traffic and comments. i wrote ASE because it was fun, and i knew in 10 years i'd read the hunger games again, and i would want my perfect fixit fic. and i would want it to be long, and well thought out, and something i could be proud of.

i've kept that "i'm writing for my 40 year old self" mentality for all my writing. at 40, i want to look back at what i wrote at 30 and know it was time well spent because it made me happy during a hard time in human history. it's a lot easier to make creative decisions when you're writing for an audience of your future self.

with tbosas coming out soon, i'm hoping to finish the coriojanus fic i started in 2020 (i think it's 7k?). and looking back through my ASE tag i also saw how many ideas i had for finnick POV and i could see myself fiddling around with a few of those prompts eventually.

[malcolm-reeds-pineapple]

Blorbo From My Shows Wrapped 2023

And rating them on a scale from 1 to 10

Nathan MacKinnon: listen okay he comes around every year around hockey season. This year I’ve gone especially deranged for him and made a fucking top loader for one of my hockey cards of him. He mostly gets points for being Nova Scotian and also looking like he has sustained multiple blows to the head. He is also incredibly fucking shaped. Anyway solid 7/10 - loses points because he’s been stripped of all personality by the NHL in order to be more advertiser-friendly

Vinsmoke Sanji: alright okay I’m a fake fan because I’ve only seen the live action but sweet Christ I want this white man. From the moment this absolute womanizing jackass graced my screen I have been in love with him. He makes me giggle and kick my feet like a middle schooler at a sleepover. He truly is Blorbo From My Shows in the best possible way. 10/10 I think this man is so hot.

John Sheppard: I started watching Atlantis recently and I kind of thought I was gonna hate it because no Daniel and Daniel had been my primary brain rot since I was 9 but John won me over. I love his sense of humour and his relationship with McKay (aaaaaaa Canada Mentioned!!!!) but I also find his insubordination extremely hot like yes babe!!! Disregard your orders to commit intergalactic war crimes!!!! Also I love that we get Sheppard Scruff a lot because believe me that instantly casts a hex on me to lose all thoughts!!!! Foaming at the mouth for him!!! Anyway 8/10 - loses points for being a pilot bc my dad was on the ground crew and my genetic memory is telling me that all pilots are bastards

Tony Markovich (that fucking cop from shameless): listen okay hear me out hear me out……………….. alright I got nothing, I can’t even defend this one. First of all, I’ve only seen the show through tiktok highlights. Second bbg this man is a cop what’s wrong with you??? He mostly gets points for looking like a handsome young man who my mom would love if I brought him home. Like Tony just looks sooooo boyfriend shaped to me?? Like if I brought him home and he told my mom that he volunteers coaching basketball and that he likes to spend his off time cooking with his mom, my mom would literally bawl her eyes out because I’ve brought home the man she’s always envisioned for me. 6/10 - loses points for being a cop and also being too fucking vanilla to even think that his handcuffs could possibly be used for sex.

Ray Stantz: alright so he’s also the type that I would 100% bring home to my mom but unlike Tony, I respect his career. This guy is soooooooooooo husband shaped like he looks like the kind of guy who mows his lawn on a Sunday before the kids wake up so he can teach them how to ride a bike as soon as they finish breakfast. He’s also just so sweet and cuddly in canon and I want him to infodump about all his interests at me. I also like that his so squishy and I just wanna be the one who helps him get the ectoplasm out of his hair while he tells me about poltergeists and stuff. 10/10 - he’s so husband shaped he loses points for NOTHING because he’s EXACTLY the kind of man I want

Daniel Jackson: listen okay we all knew this was coming I don’t even need to say anything. I know this man has not only been living in my head rent free but he also lives in yours because you follow me and you have 0 choice in the matter. I’m not elaborating just go thru #yeet me into the void on my blog and you’ll get it. 15/10 he’s the fucking blueprint.

Jack Ransom: i apparently cannot exist without a white man from Star Trek bouncing around my skull so Ransom makes this list. I love blonde himbos and like the thing is that I know he’d call me a fucking slur but like his superiority complex does something to me idfk I should send this post to my therapist because evidently I need fucking help. 8/10 - loses points for being a cartoon, gains points for his obvious brat taming kink.

Anyway thanks for coming to the annual Blorbo From My Shows Wrapped: a post that if it got forwarded to anyone in my family I’d simply fake my death and disappear. However, my tumblr followers are my priest and this blog is my confessional.

[botanicallyinclinednerd]

Like the tortoise and the hare you beat Faye in finishing the show :0 MK’s name is Qi Xiaotian in Mandarin, which is taken from Wukong’s title, great sage equal to heaven. MK is “little heaven” but I imagine in English it’s just monkie kid lol. Of course Macky has to notice things, he’s always worrying. Even during a beach episode. Or it’s bc the 6EM was near omniscient. Kinda funny Wukong says there’s nobody who knows the future with him in the room (a guy whose lore is having 6 ears to hear the past present and future) anyways.

Lucky for you there’s a lot of Lmk x Epic crossovers. Unluckily for you, Fluffy has had ample time to be devious and suggested an Underworld crossover. Wukong as Ody 👀 the past stays close behind, he basically said it with the memory scroll lol. Ao Lie or past Sandy as Polites, this life is amazing when you greet it with open arms ;) but you became the monster 😔 I keep thinking of the infant monkeycide from that night-

If only bc he doesn’t seem to have known about MK’s stone and not much angst there BUT Ody singing “please don’t make me do this.” Is SO Wukong just now to Macky ;D stop! don’t make me do this~ and I think Macky could have also said Wukong’s name bc seeing MK sacrifice himself would also hurt. They had a whole talk like that in ep 2 right? Speaking of talk, haha :) isn’t that soooo similar to what Wukong said here to MK? No bud, don’t make him do this~ wow almost makes you wonder if this is how Macky died, after Wukong chained him up too 🤔 and then things went wrong somehow.

Lmao, I would say slow and steady is the way to go, but I went through the show far too fast to ever categorize it as "slow" and nothing about my watch through was "steady" lmao

Macky is omniscient? 👀👀👀 Fascinating

"I keep thinking of the monkeycide from that night" is sending me oh my god

I keep oscillating between comparing Macintosh with Polites and with Eurylochus and its all painful

No, genuinely, even though we don't fully know the details of what history was, it felt like history was repeateding itself. I have so many ideas now about what exactly happened between them

[sunlightfeeling]

so..... how did you get into smap, anyway? (i would like to hear the origin story)

hiii anon! i would love to tell this story!!

first the elevator pitch version:

like a lot of more recent fans (i.e. post-JE launch), i was a victim (affectionate) of the RGG to SMAP pipeline

…bit of a boring story, and honestly isn’t a real indication of how I got to have this brain (affectionate, i love having five old men stewing in my brain all hours of the day 👍😬)

sooo im going to tell the story of how the pipeline hit me so hard 😄

the real origin goes back to 2021…

(im gonna make a cut for this story because this is gonna be long long - i promise this isn’t an exaggeration)

so back in 2021, i had an xbox one and game pass (side note: game pass is so worth it, actually fantastic)

and I found a series that I had never heard of…Yakuza

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hX9EomZwntU

sorry

anyway

downloaded Yakuza 0 and started it up

really dug the vibes, story, music, legitimately everything

then I reached Majima’s first chapter and ooooh the opening got me good

not too long after getting to this chapter, I was graciously gifted a ps5

and one of the first things i did was…

…impulsively buy every Yakuza release on ps4

…and the Judgments as soon as I realized they were under RGG’s umbrella

…after only playing like probably less than 10 hours of a prequel

(disclaimer: i do not mean to romanticize/minimize impulse purchasing; I’m more trying to give an accurate image of how deeply invested I got in a series that essentially sent me on my path; i was/am very fortunate and cognizant of how lucky i am to be able to cover/shield myself from consequences of my actions - so to speak lol)

probably six-ish months and 2 hiatuses later, I reached Y6

and i dont know if it was because the game was the last Kiryu game (at the time) and I was getting all emotional, or if it was because the likeness to Kuroda was pretty…

<stares at pictures of Y6 Kiryu way too long>

…preeeetty 🫠

i started developing (what knowing what i know now call) a hyperfixation on not just Y6 but also Kuroda Takaya lol

basically listened to his music whenever I could/on repeat; Y6 was the only thing I wanted to spend my free time playing; etc etc etc

(for reasons, this fixation actually led me to consider my possible neurodivergence; I wonder why 🤔..🥲)

finish Y6 and become baseline-which-isnt-really-baseline normal about Yakuza when I play LAD7

but then….

“Alex, stop hyperlinking sound effects”

(affectionate)

yeahhh it’s Judgey Time

okay so ive mentioned in tags somewhere but i actually didnt have high hopes for Judgment

at all

the cover just didn’t do anything for me at all…

…and i thought the protagonist was ugly 💀

(im actually genuinely serious, this isn’t me “not like the other girls”ing; i vividly recall looking at the cover when it was about time for me to start playing it and whining to my then-bf that I wasn’t sure I was gonna like it cuz the guy looks really weird 🤣)

but i booted it up and right when Yagami shows off his badge in the prologue

girl

giiiiiirl

I didn’t realize at the time but the seed had been planted and baby that beanstalk grew

Halloween 2022 (and I only know this date for a fact because I memorialized it texting then-bf about it) is the day I decided to look up who this guy really was

I can’t recall what made me finally look him up, whether lurking on the Yakuza subreddit or just something in the game, I dunno

i shared it once but I’ll share it anytime i can…

^^ this was my first Kimura photo

the first one I actually paid more than just a passing glance at anyway……

…i finished judgment in like two/three weeks [and not in a rushed playthrough by any means - getting all the cats, doing all the side cases/romance, etc.] (have a text trail of me going into the finale and date stamp is p exactly two weeks from Halloween 🥲)

started lost judgment immediately because i have texts days after this bitching about dropping money on the dlc before even starting it lol (again: not recommending/romanticizing; just giving perspective on how active my brain was about RGG/Kimura already)

now this…..this is where my timeline gets fuzzy

because i cant really remember how fast i beat lj before starting his dramas

or if maybe i started them before even finishing the game

skipping ahead to January 2023 and I’ve definitely wrapped lj by this point

and have watched a fair amount of kimura dramas (i genuinely cant give a number tho 😭)

around this point, ive determined that im fairly confident in being audhd

and i personally would have described kimura as a combined special interest-hyperfixation at this point (because the intensity would ebb and flow in a way)

started collecting things, starting with his albums and his live recordings (and eventually a lot lot more [I’ll get back to scanning consistently eventually I promise lol])

the defining moment to when I finally crossed from Kimura to SMAP…

…was actually watching Go with the Flow

I had heard bits of SMAP, but, as many unfortunately discover, accessibility to their music is…..well it’s just not there lol

I even got YouTube Music because I found playlists of SMAP performances and could just listen to them while I was working or driving

not that I could really hear them all that well since they were all live performances w screaming or muffled audio/crunchy audio/remixes/etc etc etc

(except for pams seigi shoutout to pams seigi [sorry goro 😔; also i linked that specific one for the tags but please look in the reblogs for a diff version of seigi that they did because it’s ridiculously good])

On Go with the Flow, Kimura performs “Style” which made me go on basically a witch-hunt to find the song since it wasn’t an album track and I didn’t know SMAP’s discography

Eventually found out it was SMAP (Kimura solo on s.m.a.p specifically) and decided that I actually really needed to listen to SMAP

aaaaaand I did ☺️

and then I found Jes yeah no I definitely didn’t

and…that is my SMAP origin story

[intubatedangel]

Junk - Chapter 2

Let me start with a big thank you to everyone who messaged me publicaly and privately. Your understanding and encouragement gave me such a boost that I was able to get this chapter finished. It was about 2/3rds done when my motivation plummeted, but you all gave me the lift I needed to finish it off. It probably isn’t my best, but it is something and I hope you all enjoy it. Fingers crossed I can keep it up.

Story Index

Chapter 1

***

They both froze, as still as her chest. She'd stopped breathing.

"Shit." The older guy muttered. His hand grabbed her neck, a pair of fingers pushing against a point. "She's still got a pulse, but it won't last long." He sighed. He looked at the younger man, then shook his head. "I'll call you an ambulance, but then I'm gone. If you want her to have a chance you need to breath for her." He levered himself up off the mattress, wincing slightly as he put weight on his bad leg. He limped over towards his own corner. "I said breath for her!" He called back.

The young man looked down at her, his whole-body trembling. His fingers traced her slack jaw, his gaze locking onto her half-lidded, unseeing eyes.

"Breath for her damn you!" The older guy shouted again, dragging the younger man into the present again. He leaned down and sealed his lips over hers. He blew a hard breath into her mouth, feeling it immediately rush out of her nose against his cheek.

He spat a curse, taking another deep breath. This time he pinched her nose before her forced the air from his lungs in her body. This time it didn't spray out of her nose. He lifted his head again, his stomach churning again as he tasted vomit and bile from her lips. He forced it away. He had to keep her alive.

His sole focus was on breathing into her body, pushing air into her. Breath after breath. She never showed any signs of life.

The other man finally stumped over again. "They'll be here in a few." He said, slinging a scuffed and tatty military style backpack over his shoulder. "Best of luck kid. I hope she makes it." He told the younger man, before he headed for the door. On his way out he tossed away the phone, cutting all ties and disappearing as he had done many times before.

* * *

Dave and Lucy sat in the cab of the ambulance, parked up in front of a Mexican fast-food joint, eating burritos.

"You seeing Jones again this weekend?" Dave asked,

"Maybe." Lucy shrugged. Dave her an interrogating look. "It's not that. It's great when we're together. It's the getting together. Cop and Paramedic, not exactly sociable hours."

"That's simply a question of logistics and opportunities. You don't need to go to a fancy restaurant. There's a great breakfast place, a couple streets down from Memorial. You could take something out, watch the sunrise over the river."

"I... That’s actually not a bad idea." Lucy said pulling out her phone. She was halfway through typing out the message when the radio squawked. She rolled her eyes, pocketing her phone.

"Control to 3-0-0-8."

Dave grabbed the radio. "3-0-0-8 to control receiving."

"Category 1 call, suspected opiate overdose. patient reported to be in respiratory arrest." The voice reported as the screen on the dash highlighted an address. It was in the rough and run-down part of town. "Uniformed Police Officers will meet you there."

"Understood. We're on our way." Dave replied, wrapping the remaining half burrito and stashing it away. A few moments later the ambulance was moving, lights flashing and sirens blaring.

A couple of minutes later Dave switched them off as they got close. If it was a trap, which had happened more than once in the seedier part of the city, they didn't want to give any loud warning. Soon after they arrived at the run-down building. They'd seen it's like dozens of times between them, often linked with similar calls. They parked up and started to gather what they needed. Drug bag, airway kit, monitor/defib and the LUCAS. They piled everything on top of the gurney then patiently waited until they saw a police car pull up and a pair of officers get out. Lucy couldn't help but smile.

* * *

Matt Jones was riding shotgun alongside his new partner, Jefferson Stone. He was still feeling the high of being back on the street. His actions during the boat accident had garnered the attention of the media, and the local Police Commissioner. Having the ear of the boss of the guy who busted you to river patrol was a handy shortcut to not be on river patrol anymore.

They'd gotten the call about the OD a few minutes ago. It certainly tempered his enjoyment of the job. A call like this meant one of two things. Either they were walking into a trap where things might get dicey, or they were about to have to deal with an unfortunate soul who descent into addiction was putting them on the edge of death. Even over it.

They saw the ambulance before the actual building and rolled to a stop facing it. They both got out, alert and wary, but the street was quiet. There were the sounds of something digging through the garbage in one of the alleys, and the hissing and growling of a feline territorial dispute further down the street. It was generally a good sign. Street animals would typically give anyone hiding a wide berth. They still followed protocol, heading to the ambulance first.

Jones felt a joyful flutter when he recognised Lucy sitting in the cab. They smiled at each other while Stone and Dave quickly conferred.

"Let's go, I'll take point." Stone said, pulling out his weapon. Jones gave Lucy a nod, then followed his partner.

They entered the building, announcing themselves clearly as they covered the doors in the hallway.

"In here! Hurry!" They heard a breathless voice shout. Stone peeked around the corner then stepping in while Jones covered the hallway beyond.

"It's clear, get the medics in here!"

* * *

A few moments after she had watched Jones disappear into the run-down building, Lucy let out the breath she had been holding. Jones re-appeared in the doorway, waving them in before disappearing from view. Given how frantically he had been waving, they didn't hesitate. Dave jumped out and hurried around to the rear doors, while Lucy slipped into the back, double checking the gear on the gurney, before pushing it out once Dave opened the doors. They locked the back and rushed towards the door.

They saw Jones as they entered, directing them into a particular room. Even in the dim light, Lucy could see the look on his face was grim. Their eyes met and he gave a small shake of his head. Whether it was simply dismay at the situation, or if the girl was beyond saving, Lucy couldn't tell. Yet.

Jones pointed them towards the back of the room as he moved out of the doorway, giving them room to turn the gurney. They rattled across the rough flooring, dodging the makeshift walls, following the shifting illumination of the other officer’s flashlight. Pushing through one last hanging sheet, they finally laid eyes on their patient.

She lay on a shabby mattress, the once white fabric stained and greyed. She was paler. Her skin was a ghostly white, her gaping lips tinged with blue. Officer Stone was leaned over her, removing his own Narcan applicator from her nose. The younger man was sat on the floor, arms wrapped around his knees breathing heavily.

Lucy and Dave went to work. She knelt down on the mattress, fingers pressing into the girl's neck as she watched for any sign of movement. Dave sliced through the young woman's grubby shirt and began to ready the monitor. She felt and saw nothing. Since the call the girl's heart had stopped beating. "Nothing, prep the LUCAS." She told Dave, who abandoned the monitor and reached for the large case instead. She dragged the airway bag over, pulling out an ambu bag, before gently manipulating the young woman's neck opening her airway properly. Lucy sealed the bag over her mouth and nose, giving it a firm squeeze.

The mask rasped as the air was blocked and forced its way out of the valve and the rim of the mask. "Dammit, I need to suction her out!" Lucy focused on that, while Dave got Officer Stone to help with the LUCAS, sliding the backboard underneath the young woman's chest, then clicking the body into place.

* * *

While all this was going on Officer Jones was crouching beside the young man.

"They're going to do everything they can ok. Can you tell me her name?" He asked.

The young man's voice was blubbery and slurred. "Kr... Krystal." he managed to spit out.

"Krystal? Krystal what?"

"Just Krystal. She picked it herself."

Jones suppressed a sigh. He'd seen this kind of thing before. Young women who'd fallen out with their parents, then fallen in with the wrong crowd. He gave the young man a brief pat on the shoulder, offering some small measure of comfort, even while deep down a small nugget of anger flickered. If 'Krystal' had never met this lowlife, maybe she wouldn't be laying there with a large plunger pistoning into her chest, simulating a heartbeat. Jones looked over, seeing vomit and bile spilling out of Krystal's mouth, forced from her lungs by the LUCAS' compressions, while Lucy used a suction tube to try and remove the remnants.

Jones stepped away, talking into his radio in a hushed voice, passing a description along to missing persons. When he returned he instantly heard the high-pitched whistling undercutting the hissing clicks of the LUCAS. Dave had applied a pair of large square pads to Krystal's bare chest, with a couple of smaller dots around them.

"Getting some air entry now." Lucy commented, squeezing the ambu bag. Jones checked his watch, remembering the time of the call. It was probably the first proper lungful of air Krystal had received in nearly 10 minutes. Jones watched as Lucy dropped the bag, taking out a penlight. He saw the way her shoulder tightened as the spot of light flashed over Krystal's eyes. "Left is pinpoint, right is blown." She muttered with a sigh. "Get bilateral IVs in, I'll intubate then we'll scoop and run."

* * *

Lucy hooked the laryngoscope into Krystal's mouth, the light showing some soft bruising around her lips from where the young man had attempted to give her mouth to mouth. Attempted being the keyword. Lucy shook her head. No use dwelling on it now. The young woman in front of her was circling the drain. She had a slim enough chance of surviving, never mind coming through without major neurological damage. Lucy was determined not to waste that chance. She slid the ET tube along the blade, through Krystal's vocal cords and into her trachea. It was a smooth manoeuvre, especially considering the LUCAS was still thumping away on Krystal's sternum. By the time she had secured the tube with blue Thomas holder, Dave had gotten one of the IV's in and was working on the other. He'd handed a bag of saline to Officer Stone, so Lucy waved Jones towards the ambu bag while she took it upon herself to ready the gurney, lowering it down and arranging the sling on the mattress next to Krystal.

She finished at the same time Dave did. They coordinated to lift Krystal's upper body, complete with the LUCAS, and slide the sling beneath her, manipulating her legs onto the canvas type material. On a 3 count they lifted sling a couple of feet into the air, placing Krystal gently onto the gurney. A few moments later the gurney was rattling its way out of the dingy building. Dave led the way, while Jones and Stone helped to push. Lucy followed closely, squeezing the ambu bag with one hand, her other holding her radio as she gave a report, dimly aware of the scrawny young man trailing behind her.

"3-0-0-8 to control. Advise Riverside that we are inbound with a suspected opioid OD. Currently in asystolic cardiac arrest. Confirmed downtime of at least 5 minutes, potentially 15. ETA of 7 minutes."

[crmsndragonwngss]

1,4,7 and 9 :)

Nah fuck it, I’m doing both!

1. three songs that come up when you put your phone on shuffle

Seeking Somewhere, by Monument Of A Memory Proxy, by Valis Ablaze Legion, by TesseracT

4. three songs that you know thanks to your parents

Many, but here are some faves:

(No seriously)

7. three songs you didn’t expect to like but eventually loved

Believe it or not, as much as I love Lorna now, I really did not care for this song in the beginning. I’m not real huge into deathcore (I have bands I like but it’s far from my favorite subgenre), and I did not vibe with this song at first. Obviously that changed. I tried it again when I was in a different mindset and fell completely head over heels in love with the whole ep!

Again, believe it or not, I didn’t particularly care for Ghost Atlas the first time I heard them. I was already an Erra fan, so I already adored Jesse Cash, but GA was so totally different from Erra and it simply wasn’t what I needed at the time. Then All Is In Sync came out in 2017 and their sound finally clicked with me, and I went back and ended up really loving this song in particular. This is also a great band if you like alt rock/indie rock.

Listen, way back in 2014, when I was discovering Erra and Amity for the first time, Psy’s Gangnam Style went viral for the second time in the States and a couple of BTS mv reactions had landed on lame ass “comedy” shows that my ex-bestie watched like tosh.0, and I tried to listen to BTS just to see what all the hype was about. I listened to this album and fucking hated it. I always give songs to the chorus to catch my interest before I skip, and I ended up skipping every track, but I really disliked this one. I could not pinpoint why exactly, I just did not fuck with it at all. Fast forward to like six fucking months ago and this is one of my favorite songs period, let alone one of my fave BTS tracks. I LOVE this song. I listen to it almost every day (followed immediately by cypher 3, not big on the other two cyphers, but I love these two). This is not the song that made me actually fall in love with BTS’s music, that distinction goes to a track from the same album (Tomorrow), but this one has earned a spot in my regular rotation for sure

9. three songs that get you in the Christmas Mood

(That is hands down my favorite Christmas song ever)

Of course

And Hark! The Herald Angels Sing, but no specific version of it

10. three favourite Halloween/spooky songs

Imma basic ass goth bitch, so naturally:

And because I hit the audio limit (lame)

Cry Little Sister, the theme song from The Lost Boys (and yes, I do actually prefer the original over the covers I've heard. BUT if anyone has a cover they like of it, feel free to send it!)

[theburningsunset]

my adhd can't chill tf down enough to sleep so may i present this (uhhh spoilers for new-who):

Everything in Doctor Who that ought to be fixed and why:

Any time the doctor shows racism, queerphobia, sexism, ableism, classism, etc. Unless a specific prejudice of Gallifreyan society exists, it would never make sense for the Doctor to be bigoted, even the one from the '60s

Related: when Thirteen breaks the Master's perception filter so the nazis would see he's a man of color and thus endanger him—the Doctor would never.

Completely abandon former companions. Maybe some, maybe originally, but even 2000 years of lessons learned later? The Doctor is a good man, abandonment is too inconsistent with his characterization to be a reoccurring, unchallenged trait.

Wiping Donna's memory. Cruel, erased her character arc and was not a fulfilling or meaningful end. Either kill her or have her decide to retire.

The convoluted reason the Ponds were stuck in 1939 New York. C'mon, if I tried for five seconds I could come up with a sensical reason why the Doctor never saw them and they were stuck. Or just don't make them stuck 🤷🏼‍♀️ maybe they decide to adopt and retire to avoid danger to the kid but the Doctor and River still regularly visit.

The "War Doctor". Showrunners confirmed this only existed because Christopher Eccleston refused to come back for the 50th Special (no shade to his choice). It might've backfired or seemed disrespectful of Chris's performance, but they should've simply recast Nine for it.

Just throw out Kill the Moon, it was bad writing, the heavy-handed abortion allegory was exhausting and weird (regardless of intentionality) and I don't usually cry "but the science!" but...the moon being gone, even if soon after it replaced itself, would cause apocalyptic destruction on Earth and possibly wipe out humanity. The primary salvageable bit that I think is integral is the Twelve/Clara fight at the end.

Danny Pink either doesn't die or doesn't stay dead. The paradox it would cause for him to die before him and Clara have kids when her and Twelve have MET those descendants and been on two separate adventures down that family line is irreconcilable. Full stop.

Bill doesn't die. The end. (Do NOT bury your fucking gays)

Don't have Graham be the last white seat on the Rosa episode, for fucking christ's sake. Plus where the fuck is at least the mention of Claudette Colvin?

Fourteen regenerates into Thirteen's clothes, following well-established rules of regeneration (BBC were cowards for breaking that just to sidestep having David Tennant "crossdress")

Headcanon bits that aren't necessarily tied to quality/consistent writing but I think would've been great:

The Doctor does find Melody. Maybe only by age six or so, if wanting to keep the Silence story intact, but rework Let's Kill Hitler to avoid the Mel situation. It makes me sad that they never got their baby back. She can still turn out to be River, maybe the regen into River only happened post season-six, keeping the reveal. Maybe Melody was eventually re-kidnapped by the Silence and then turned into River Song, or maybe Melody was always a kind of troubled trouble-maker and took on the River Song alias on her own.

Thirteen and Yaz absolutely get together.

keep in mind I haven't finished Thirteen's run (the stink of neolib BS from the Rosa Parks episode tanked my interest in keeping up until Chibnall fucked off), haven't seen the 60th Special yet, still have 20-something seasons of Classic Who to go, and don't remember everything I have seen, nor am I always right. I think on re-watch I'd find more issues but for now it's the list I've got that exactly zero (0) people asked for.

[ckret2]

I have 0 memories of care bears but I KNOW I watched it religiously. Memories of watching it but not of any details. Also had 5 care bears, and i think 1 of them is still in my childhood home

tbh that's what the experience of watching Care Bears has been like for me. I remembered the movies and ONE episode—at some point the Care Bears and the villains are on a game show, I haven't reached that episode yet—but I don't remember any other episode, despite knowing I watched a lot.

HOWEVER, as I'm watching them, every once in a while a scene will come on and make me go "oh wait holy shit, I've watched this, I remember this shot EXACTLY, I know exactly what's happening in this sequence." Fascinating how memory works.