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Dating You For A Bet [Part 3]
word count: 2145 || avg. reading time: 9 mins.
pairing: University AU!Matsukawa x chubby!Reader
genre: angst, comfort
warnings: like one time swearing
[part 1] [part 2]
As soon as the dorm room door closed behind you, your shoes were practically flung off your feet. With a deeply satisfied sigh you stretched and wiggled your toes, slowly feeling the numbness subside. You weren’t used to wearing heels but thought that a third date called for the occasion.
“How was it?”
Confused, you turned around as if your roommate could have possibly meant anyone else. She hardly ever spoke with you so this was absolutely a first.
She was sitting cross-legged on her bed, computer on her lap, and brushed her headphones from one ear.
“The… date?”, you asked cautiously, standing frozen in front of the wardrobe like a deer caught in headlights.
The other girl nodded.
“It was… nice?”
“Just nice?”
“He was sweet.”
“That was your second one this week, right? Are you gonna keep seeing him?”
“I’m sorry. I’m still trying to figure out why you’re talking to me.”
She shrugged.
“Because I’m curious.” When you still didn’t say anything, she explained, “I’ve heard all over campus what happened, and… it sucks what your ex did. And I saw how sad you were about it but I’m also really impressed with how you’re handling it now. I guess I just wanna say that at first, I thought it was a really dumb rumor because you were both so obsessed with each other. It didn’t make any sense.”
That brought you out of your stupor. You turned to put your jacket back in the closet and tossed the shoes carelessly into the void somewhere to other disregarded things.
“Yeah.”, you said after a small pause.
“Do you think you’ll get back together?”
Now it was on you to shrug.
“Why d’you ask?”
Your roommate turned the laptop so you could see. It was a live feed of the current varsity volleyball match. Issei was just being switched out and the camera stayed on him as the coach kept talking very fast and gesturing towards the court in an unmistakably urgent manner. Issei simply bowed his head and nodded to his shoes, kneading the pads of his fingers against the water bottle like he always had done when he was anxious. The clip was only about five seconds long but it was obvious that when he turned around to look at the stands behind him he was searching for someone.
Your roommate moved the laptop back so that the screen was facing her again.
“He has been off all game.”
“Well… too bad.”, you said and grabbed your towel and shower caddy.
With three days left until Christmas, the first snow fell. After your tear-filled kiss with Issei at the bench two weeks ago he had left you alone. No more notes, no more loitering around waiting to talk to you and you wondered if this was really how it would be from now on. You figured that finding out you were dating someone else had spooked him into hiding. However, just as you were sure you would never speak another word with him you heard a commotion outside your door. Calls and hollerings were echoing through the hallway from the girls on your floor and you and your roommate both looked up from your essays to then exchange a questioning head tilt with each other. The large pizza carton between you was pushed aside and, brushing your greasy hands off on your washed-out sweats, you got up to see what was going on. When you opened the door you saw four guys hunched over with their heads ducked between their shoulders looking as uncomfortable as can be. Issei, meanwhile, was pushing a fifth down the corridor toward your room. You recognized them now. It had taken a few seconds without their usual sneers.
Your ex had them stand in a row in front of you and then all but one knelt down. Issei gave the last one a tap with his foot on the back of the knee to make him match the others. Heads hung low and hands resting on their thighs, one after the other bowed in deepest apology with their foreheads almost touching the linoleum. The middle one, whom you remembered as the idiot who suggested the bet, began to speak as Issei stood behind them all, arms crossed, a smirk on his lips.
“Y/n-san,”, the middle one said, “we’re very sorry for… for the whole thing.”
Issei cleared his throat. All the girls from the surrounding doors giggled and kept their phones focused on them to film while you were gaping like a fish.
“- for making the bet about you. It was terrible and immature and you didn’t deserve to be treated like that. We ask for your forgiveness.” A general murmur of apologies went through the row of kneeling guys.
“Here.”, the middle one fished a crinkly envelope from his hoodie and held it up to you with both hands, “This is the money from the bet. Please accept it.”
“No, why would I want your money?”, you replied in disbelieving disgust.
“Okay.”, your roommate weighed in quietly and slipped past you, snatching the envelope, “I’ll be taking that.”
You frowned at her.
She raised her hands in defense. “Pride and integrity are great and all but we are still students at the end of the day. This will at least fund next month’s pizza parties. I’m just saying.” And she retreated behind you, adding, “Carry on.”
“Just leave me alone and don’t ever talk to or about me ever again. And the sooner you realize that you are nothing but pathetic worms that peaked in high school the sooner you can go to therapy which you obviously need.”
The boys seemed to wait for something, then Issei said, “You heard her. Fuck off.”
All five scrambled to their feet and pushed through the audience of sniggering girls to get away.
Incredulously, you looked at Issei who was very obviously very satisfied with himself.
“How did you even…?”
He chuckled and shrugged as the surrounding crowd slowly dispersed and went back into their rooms and about their days.
“You didn’t beat them up, did you?”
“Worse.”
He walked over to you and leaned casually against your doorframe.
“I called their moms.”
Your roommate snorted and went back to her essay.
There was a pause in which Issei realized that for the first time since the breakup, you didn’t regard him with the previous hurt or anger. His smirk faded into a small unsure smile and he switched between glancing at you and his hands, “You look pretty.”, he muttered, then pushed himself off the doorframe, “Have a good night.”
The clip of the five guys kneeling in front of your door (from varying angles) was all over the campus forum for days giving you finally a different sort of spotlight and leading your fellow students to turn their attention and energy to hackling the bet-makers rather than you. It was a welcome change of pace.
On Christmas morning then you were bundled up tightly in your coat and scarf and trudged through the freshly fallen snow on your way to the library where you would pretend to study while in all honesty, you would just be scrolling on your phone. All just to escape the omnipresent merriment. You had to walk past Issei’s dorm, something you had avoided doing for weeks and instead had taken the much longer route.
“Y/n!”, you heard a shout from overhead and when you looked up into the soft flurry of snow you spotted Issei waving from his window, “Wait there for a moment!”
Two flights of stairs later, Issei jogged through the lobby towards the glass front door to hold it open. “Could you come up for a second, please? - It’s nothing weird, I promise.”, he added when he saw your skeptically raised brow.
You followed him silently until you reached his door.
With a flourish, he opened his room and was met with a wall of smell from a whole bunch of different essential oils. He coughed and flitted into the room to open the window again, using a notepad to fan the air. The whole room was decorated with candles and garlands and even a small fake Christmas tree that obviously had needed a bit of persuasion to stand up straight on the bedside table.
“Sorry.”, he pressed out in between coughs, “I went around the whole building for candles but they all just had scented ones.” He kept feverishly fanning the icy cold air into the room, ignoring the thick snowflakes landing on and soaking through his pillow. A long dead plant in a pot on the windowsill caught the flame of a candle as he waved around the notepad and began to slowly burn to a crisp. “Oh!” He tossed the notepad onto the bed and grabbed the mostly empty can of an energy drink to pour over it.
“Anyways.”, Issei turned around as if nothing had happened and cleared his throat, “You once told me that you were kinda dreading Christmas because you couldn’t go see your family and I promised that I would spend Christmas with you and make it fun, so!” He jumped to his dresser and retrieved a red tin containing slightly burned, painstakingly decorated sugar cookies and handed them to you. Then he turned around and rummaged under his bed until he pulled out a Santa hat and reindeer antlers that he placed on top of the tin in your hands, “I also have your favorite Christmas movies -”, he waved toward his laptop, “you don’t have to watch them with me, of course, but they’re there if you like - and”, he picked up a note from his desk, “here is the list we made of all the Christmas activities that you wanted to do. We can go through them one by one.” You noticed how the paper shook slightly in his hand and how he swallowed a lump that seemingly had formed in his throat while awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. “Mistletoe is kinda inappropriate now but I guess you can… slap me instead if we’re both under it. But the snow is good for a snowball fight and to build a snowman and make snow angels and-“
“Issei!”, you said firmly to stop his ramblings, “This is really nice of you but I’m not in the mood to play in the snow right now.”
“Right… uhm.”, his eyes darted back to the paper in his hand for another idea, “We can go to the coffee shop for that holiday drink I told you about.”, he suggested excitedly instead.
“I… already went and tried it last week with my roommate.”
“Oh…”
“Yeah.”
“Did you like it?”
“It was nice, yeah.”
“Good. Good.” After a short pause, he followed up with, “I’m glad.”
He then hesitated, opened his mouth as if to say something, then closed it again and put the list back on his desk.
You looked around the room - the leftover paper shreds next to the trash can from the cutout snowflakes, the wonky bow on top of the cookie tin, the over-laden Christmas tree. All the effort and genuine thought he had put into everything at the very least made you want to accept his peace offering.
“I wouldn’t mind having it again, though.”, you heard yourself mumble.
“Really? You sure?”
You shrugged.
“Alright, lemme grab my jacket.”
“You should put out the candles.”
“Right!”
“Alright, order placed.”, he announced when he sat down across from you, holding up the little buzzer that would let you know about your drinks.
“How have you been?”, he asked.
“Good. Better. I aced that exam I was so worried about.”
“Knew you had it in your pocket.”, Issei nodded and turned the buzzer nervously in his fingers.
“Let me just tell you that I know there is no excuse for what I did. But know that I am not done apologizing for it. You are everything to me and I am kicking myself every day for not realizing it the moment I saw you. You deserve nothing but the best and I’m glad you found someone who can make you happy.”
“Thank you.”, you allowed yourself to smile, “I appreciate that.”
“So… what’s he like?”, he asked, trying very hard to sound casual.
“Who?”
“Your new boyfriend. Do I know him?”
“Well uhm, he isn’t my boyfriend.”
“Oh?” His fingers turning the buzzer slowed ever so slightly.
“Yeah it just…”, you sighed and shrugged, “didn’t work out.”
You would under no circumstances ever tell him that it was because you had called him Issei while he kissed you. You would take that to the grave.
“Aw, that’s too bad.”
“You know this would be a whole lot more convincing if you weren’t grinning like an idiot.”, you smiled.
taglist: @samoankpoper21 @reikashe @jasminelee324
#matsukawa x chubby reader#mattsun x chubby reader#matsukawa issei x chubby reader#haikyuu x chubby reader#chubby reader#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x curvy reader#matsukawa issei x reader#issei matsukawa#matsukawa angst#mattsun angst#matsukawa x you#hq matsukawa#matsukawa x reader#haikyuu matsukawa#matsukawa issei#haikyuu angst#hq angst
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If you’re still taking prompts, Tommy spending time with Maddie?
Oh I like this!
----
"At least this time it was planned." Maddie offered
"Yeah... And the nurse did say everything is going according to plan earlier."
"But you still worry."
"Yeah." Tommy chuckled. "I convinced him to get it done now so he'd be back on his feet by the time the little one starts walking."
Maddie smiled and rubbed her pregnant belly.
"Yeah I think he is looking forward to meeting his family. He's about to walk right out of there in a minute. Jee wasn't this restless."
"I guess he takes after his father then. I've never known Howie to be calm and relaxed." Tommy commented "Well... off the clock at least." he added after a beat and they both laughed.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, drinking bad hospital coffee and Tommy's eyes fixed on the door.
"What about you two?" Maddie asked.
"Hmm?"
Tommy reluctantly tore his eyes away from the door and looked at her.
"One of these." she gestured at her belly.
"I don't think either of us is at risk of getting pregnant any time soon." Tommy deadpanned and laughed when Maddie slapped his bicep.
"You know what I mean. Am I going to be an aunt any time soon?"
Tommy sat up straighter and played with the lid of his coffee cup.
"We've talked about it. Marriage, kids... the whole nine yards... and we want the same things..."
"But..." Maddie prompted.
"But... not just yet." Tommy shook his head. "We've only been back together about six months. And the last time we rushed into things it didn't go so well. So one step at a time for now."
"Isn't he moving in with you when he's discharged?"
"Yeah but that's because he's going to need a lot of help. Especially the first few months. And those stairs in the loft are lethal."
"He managed before..."
"Maybe. But he doesn't have to anymore now. I have a bedroom and a bathroom on the ground floor at my place and the stairs aren't so damn steep, he can easily manage them with crutches if needed."
Suddenly the door opened and one of the doctors walked up to them.
"Evan Buckley's family?"
Tommy was on his feet in seconds.
"That's right. How is he?"
The doctor gave him a tired smile.
"The operation was a success. No complications. Straight out of the medical text books."
"So he's ok?"
"He has a long road to recovery ahead of him, but I don't see why he shouldn't make a full recovery in due time." The doctor told them. "He'll still be asleep for a while, but one of the nurses will come get you when they've gotten him settled back in, in his room and you can sit with him."
Tommy let out a sigh of relief while Maddie thanked the doctor before they left the two of them to it again.
"He's ok." Maddie said, slipping her arm through Tommy's. "He's ok."
About ten minutes later a nurse came to get them and took them to Buck's room. He was still fast asleep but apart from a pulse oximeter on his finger and a cast on his leg, he looked just like he would on a regular day at home.
Tommy sat down next to the bed and softly brushed the curls off his forehead, while Maddie sat down on the other side and held Buck's hand in hers.
"You know he always hated that?"
"Hated what?"
"His curls. People playing with them." Maddie explained. "I used to do it when he was little but when he got old enough to pick his own hairstyle, the curls were gone and everyone was forbidden to touch his hair. I think I still have some pictures of when he gave himself a haircut when he was about 12 or 13."
Tommy grinned.
"If you can still find them, I'd love to see them."
"I'll get Howie to look for them." Maddie promised. "But what I'm trying to say is... he's changed since he met you. For the better."
"I did tell him I liked the curls once... He hadn't had time to get a haircut in a while and his hair was getting longer and the curls just made him look... soft." Tommy smiled, running his hands through Buck's hair.
Maddie smiled.
"Not just the hairstyle. Or wearing clothes in his actual size instead of at least two sizes too small." She laughed. "But he's... more comfortable in his own skin. He's content. Happy in a way I've never seen him before. And that's down to you."
"I don't know about that..." Tommy ducked his head.
"I do." Maddie insisted. "You're good for him. You're good for each other."
Buck began to stir and groaned as he opened his eyes. He rolled his head to the side and smiled when he saw Tommy.
"Hey you." Tommy said and got up to press a kiss to the top of his head. "Welcome back. How are you feeling?"
"Hmokay... better when the room stops spinning... and there's only one of you. is my leg still there?" he reached out to touch his leg and then realised someone was holding his hand. He turned his head and saw his sister. "Maddie!" he said happily, like he hadn't seen her in years.
"Hi." she giggled and squeezed his hand. "They've got you on the good stuff, huh."
"They fixed my leg." he explained. "Tommy said I should do it now. For the baby." He frowned. "Not our baby." He turned his head back to the other side to look at Tommy. "You're not having a baby... right?"
Tommy bit his lip to stop himself from laughing.
"No, no I'm not. But your sister is."
Buck turned back to Maddie.
"You're having a baby?" he asked, and then noticed her pregnant belly. "You're having a baby! Wait... i-is that Tommy's baby?"
"What? No!" Maddie said and both her and Tommy burst out laughing. "I don't think I'm really his type."
"Yeah, sorry, I prefer the other Buckley." Tommy said laughingly.
Buck frowned.
"Who?"
"You." Tommy told him and softly kissed him. "I'm going to get a nurse. Let them know you're awake. I'll be right back." He got up and left the room with Buck looking at him with a dopey smile that wasn't just the anaesthetic.
"I love him." Buck declared, still looking at the door.
Maddie smiled and gave his hand another squeeze.
"I know. He loves you too."
"Yeah? Yeah!" Buck replied answering his own question. "I'm going to marry him. I have a ring." he said, just as Tommy came back in with a nurse.
"Hello mister Buckley, glad to see you awake." the nurse told him as she quickly checked him over. "The operation went well, and you should be able to go home in a few days."
Buck nodded and turned to Maddie.
"You need to call Eddie for me. He has the ring. I need it... for Tommy. I'm going to marry him."
"I'll call him." Maddie promised. sharing a look with Tommy over the bed.
"Good. I'm just... sleep..." Buck mumbled as he started to drift off again.
"He probably won't remember this conversation when he wakes up again." the nurse told them. "I'm guessing you're Eddie?" she asked Tommy who shook his head.
"I'm Tommy. And I guess I better start working on my surprised face."
---
send me a prompt and I'll write you a fic(let)!
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what doesn't kill you // part 3
you had your whole life planned out for you; start an agency with your best friend, scale the charts and make japan your bitch. but when a tragic accident leaves you incapacitated and out of a job, you find you just need to start fresh. you cut ties–and for two years, you've all but disappeared. until they need you again and come knocking at your door.
bakugo x retiredpro!reader
prologue ✧ previous ✧ next
"They say there's a chance you could learn to walk again." He offered, trying to be as optimistic as he could. Lord knows you didn't need another thing to feel bad about.
"How big a chance?"
He flushed, looking away.
He had caught you after you had passed out, moving to sit beside you afterward.
The nurses were beginning to bustle about. You had caught a few pitying glances already–each one only making you wish your bed would swallow you whole.
"It's been done before."
"I know you know the stats." You said with a sigh.
He sighed too, squeezing your hand. "I just... I don't want you to feel like you can't. I know you can."
"Izuku."
He winced. "One in a hundred."
You sunk a little lower beneath the sheets at that.
The silence stretched on, neither of you knowing exactly what to say after that.
"Sorry I'm late." The door quietly swung shut behind the heterochromic boy as he moved to take a seat beside you; saving both of you from the awkward tension. "I couldn't get out of the press conference."
Right. Because for the rest of them, hero work went on.
You pushed the thought to the corner of your mind, adding it to the list of things you'd think about later.
He pulled a chair over, blank eyes softening as he saw you. He leaned over to give you a quick hug. "I'm happy you're okay." He said softly.
"How'd it go? Have you guys found him?" You asked, ignoring the last comment for no reason beyond its awkward nature.
You had learned from Midoriya that you had been out for two weeks, but he hadn't any other information. Apparently, he had spent most of his time here with you.
Todoroki nodded. "Bakugo did. The day after the incident." He informed you solemnly.
Your heart clenched oddly at the name.
"He got to the fucker before the authorities could. Beat him up pretty bad. For a second it looked like Bakugo was going to be charged with assault because the villain could barely walk after, but... given the circumstances..." He looked down, shaking his head.
You flicked a piece of lint off your blanket glumly. "Suppose he's been pretty busy then." You muttered bitterly.
That was the next question you had grilled Midoriya for. Turned out, in the half a month you had been in a coma, Bakugo hadn't dropped by once.
Todoroki looked at you, blinking slowly. "Y/n, it's not like that."
You scoffed but said nothing.
"It really isn't. He was so angry. He is so angry. He didn't go home that night. He stayed up until dawn looking for the villain and didn't stop till he found the guy." He told you. "He's just processing."
You sighed, turning to look out the window. "I guess." You just wished that he could process here. With you. And maybe some better food.
"He'll visit soon."
It was like that for the next couple of days. All of your friends, acquaintances, even a bunch of people you knew only by name–all showing up to wish you a speedy recovery and look at you with their pitying gazes that made your skin crawl.
And yet through it all, Bakugo never showed up.
"Are you up for another visitor?"
You looked up, slightly surprised to see a purple haired girl standing in the doorway. Jirou, as you recalled from high school–or rather, Earphone Jack she went by now.
You shrugged, nodding sulkily. What did it matter, really?
"Thanks for coming." You spoke quietly. So unlike your usual self.
She stared at you for a minute as you stared firmly at your lap. Everyone's pity was starting to drown you alive–and you had concluded that the only way to survive it was to pretend it wasn't there.
"Hiroshi and Yutaka Kota." She finally broke the silence.
You glanced up, confused. "What?"
"The children you saved." The girl answered. "Those were their names."
You shook your head. She must've been confused. "I wasn't able to save them." You whispered, hands clenched tightly together in your lap. "I was too slow.
"You're wrong. They were a bit banged up, but thanks to you they had just enough time to escape before the building really collapsed."
That couldn't have been right. And yet you wished so dearly that it was. You felt tears welling up in your eyes again–whether because you were happy or sad you weren't quite sure.
"I'm really sorry that this happened to you." She said quietly.
But there was something off about her tone. It wasn't pitying. Didn't feel like nails on a chalkboard as most people's did so often nowadays. It was... understanding. It was actually quite nice.
"But I thought it'd be nice for you to know that it wasn't for nothing. Including those two, 326 people accredit their lives to you, Cordelia."
You looked away, feeling the tears leak down your cheeks now.
"Thank you." You whispered. "It was getting really tiring hearing people tell me how 'at least I didn't die,' or some other unrealistically optimistic bullshit."
She snorted. "That's lowkey a weird thing to say to someone."
"Tell me about it."
She looks at you, and smiles.
Why had you two not been close before? You had both gone to UA together–hell, you two had more mutuals than you could count. And yet, you had never found yourselves in the other's company; and even after you both graduated, you never saw her on the field.
"Are you going to go to the hero gala?" She asked after a beat of pause.
Right. The hero gala. In the grand scheme of things, it just seemed so trivial now. "I didn't think I was still invited." You said honestly, letting your shoulders rise and fall.
"Of course you are." She corrected. "Cordelia, if anyone can learn to walk again? It's you. And even if you can't, that doesn't change your legacy. You're amazing, dude."
You smiled softly down at your sheets. "Yeah, I guess. Maybe. I'll think about it."
"Do. It's in three days. I'll see you there, okay?"
"Wait." You called as she stood before she could make it all the way to the door. "Why did you visit me?" You asked at last.
She smiled to herself, as if thinking upon a fond memory. "You're awesome. I always see you on the news. You're revolutionizing the space. Paving the way for women. It's amazing. Honestly." She told you proudly. "You're amazing, Cordelia."
For the first time in weeks, the load in your eyes lightened slightly, and you felt your lips tug into a small smile. It didn't erase the ache in your heart or bring back feeling to your legs, but it was something.
a/n: istg my tags are broken 🥲 sorry if ur tag doesn't work
taglist:@floverisland @biancatomlinson @rosaryia @highlandhyena @sarashu @rednicotine @emmaiscool22 @your-mum3000 @whoreforfictionalmen18 @sikuthealien
permanent tags: @phtmmsqrde @pikachuzhc
#bnha#mha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#xreader#mha x reader#bnha x reader#bakugo x reader#bakugo katsuki x reader#bakugo#bakugo katsuki#fluff#angst#bnha fluff#bnha angst#mha fluff#mha angst#fanfic#fanfiction#masterlist#auroras-zenith#auroras zenith
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Heart On Your Sleeve Part 4
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3
written for steddiebigbang2024 and belatedly posting here!
-----
“Freak's looking at you.”
There's a nudge to his shoulder that makes Steve jerk up, snapping out of the daze he'd been in.
“Huh?” he asks, looking at Aaron with his brow furrowed.
Aaron nods towards a spot halfway across the cafeteria, and Steve shifts his gaze over to see Munson standing on top of one of the tables, watching him expectantly.
Shit.
“Can you repeat that, if you're expecting a response?” Steve asks. “I drifted off somewhere around comparing the swimming pool to a goldfish bowl.”
He's being honest - it's still harder to concentrate, and he saves it for classes and practice and tends to zone out when he doesn't need to pay attention - but it makes the people who were clearly listening in laugh.
Steve catches Munson's gaze and rolls his eyes, giving him an apologetic little shrug.
He's not really sure how Munson takes it, because he just bemoans the attention span of the average jock and clomps down from the table, but no one's looking at either of them anymore, so he guesses it doesn't matter.
Steve's almost disappointed. Might be kind of nice to see what Munson's like when no one's watching them, he thinks.
—
Things are okay, with him and Nancy and Jonathan.
His gaze doesn't automatically seek Nancy out in a crowd or anything - mostly because he'd always been at her side, before, so it's not like it's even something he's used to - but he still catches her gaze sometimes, still smiles and nods and doesn't say anything.
They share study hall together.
He and Nancy shared it before, of course, and logically he knows that Jonathan had it at the same time they did, but now - now they all have it together.
After the first few times of him or Nancy awkwardly veering sharply away from their previously shared table when they'd seen the other one was already there - one day they just didn't.
They don't say much, but the three of them sit together, exchanging class notes and books. Sometimes Steve sees the pinch in Jonathan's eyes and gives him a bottle of water and some ibuprofen, and sometimes Jonathan sees him squinting too hard at something and copies the passage over in bigger handwriting, and Nancy checks over both of their notes, and it's -
The jagged black cut in his heart scabs, fades, scars. He'll always love her, he thinks, but sometimes he thinks if they can get over the hurt -
Sometimes he sits with the two of them and it's the closest he's ever felt to being understood. Sometimes he thinks it's what he wanted with Tommy and Carol, all those years ago.
It's a start.
—
He runs into Munson after school, sometimes.
They don't say anything either, but after practice gets out and after Munson is done with his theater club or whatever it is, they'll see each other.
Sometimes, if Munson's selling, Steve will linger.
He doesn't really think Billy's stupid enough to point fingers at Munson, and most people are too afraid of him to do anything, but it still makes him feel a little better to keep an eye on him.
It kind of feels like no one watches out for Eddie Munson, not the way he watches out for his fellow freaks.
“What?” Munson demands one day, sidling up to Steve and slamming his goodie box down on the bench. “What're you looking for here?”
Steve frowns at him. “I told you.”
Munson's brows furrow. “You were serious about that shit? You think you're protecting me?”
“Why not?” Steve challenges.
Munson's eyes go flat. “And what's this protection going to cost me?”
Steve thinks about being offended, for a moment, before he wonders if other people have tried to make deals before, keep the other assholes of Hawkins High away from him in exchange for free weed or something.
He softens. “I haven't asked you for anything.”
Munson scowls. “Yet,” he counters. “Whatever you're thinking, if you're trying to get me to owe you, it's not happening. Fuck off, man, I don't need protecting.”
His heart clenches as he hears an echo of Max saying the same thing, and before he knows it he's reached into his chest and pulled out his heart.
The scowl melts into confusion for a brief moment before it's back in full force. “I'm still not showing you mine,” Munson retorts.
“I still haven't asked,” Steve counters. “I don't want anything, man, all right? Just looking out in case Billy tries something.”
Or anyone else, now that Steve thinks of it, but even with his heart pumping in a steady truth, he's not sure Munson'll believe that.
“Just like that,” Munson says flatly, after a moment of watching Steve's heart. “And what do your knights of the round table think of this?”
Steve's nose scrunches. “What?”
“Your knights.” Munson waves his hand dismissively, but - his tone isn't mean, isn't condescending. “It's a King Arthur reference.”
It's nice, that he isn't being shitty about Steve not understanding something.
“Right. So that makes me King Arthur, and you're - what was it again, the court jester?” Steve asks, giving him a little smile to show he's teasing.
“If we're doing King Arthur, I'm going with Merlin,” Eddie says.
“The old guy with the beard and pointy hat?” Steve asks.
Eddie puts his hands on his hips, fluttering his eyelashes. “You think I couldn't pull it off?”
Steve plays along, making a show of looking him up and down. “You know what, sure, you've got the right look for gray haired old man.”
“Asshole,” Eddie tells him, but he doesn't sound pissed anymore. “You know you're cutting into my profits, right? People see you lingering and they're less likely to come buy.”
Steve's brows furrow. “Wait, really?”
“Yeah, really. Only the desperate want to make illicit purchases under the watchful eye of Hawkins High's once and future king.”
Steve's quiet for a moment. “I'll stand farther away, make myself look busy.”
Eddie glowers. “Seriously? You're not giving this up?”
Honestly - Steve probably should. But he's stubborn, and Eddie throwing a fit about it kind of just makes him want to do it more.
“Who looks out for you?” he asks instead of answering.
Eddie looks thrown. “What?”
“That's why you do it, right? Why you started walking on tables and making yourself a target. It takes attention off of the guys younger than you.” Steve's trying to make a point, so he slides right over the fact that they both know everyone's younger than Eddie - this is his second senior year, after all. “So everyone watches you.”
“Yeah?” Eddie asks, a little bit of an edge back in his voice. “You watch me, Harrington?”
“No,” Steve replies, blunt and honest. “Not really. Not before.”
“Not before Billy Hargrove tried to blame me for bashing your head in with his fists?” Eddie asks.
“He smashed a plate over it, actually,” Steve shoots back. “But yeah, something like that.”
Steve's heart gives an erratic beat. It wasn't a lie, but apparently it wasn't enough of the truth, either. Eddie gives him a pointed look.
“There's these kids I babysit,” Steve says, slow and careful. “They're into the same things you are. They're gonna be in high school next year, and I won't be here. Neither will you, but it just made me think - I'd want someone like you looking out for them.”
Eddie watches his heart for a moment.
“What are their names?” he asks. “Yeah, I won't be here, but Jeff will be. I can tell him to look out for them.”
Relief swoops through Steve, and he doesn't even care when Eddie gives him a funny look after he includes Mike and Will along with Dustin, Lucas, and Max.
He won't admit it, but it helps.
—
The next day, Eddie sits next to him at lunch.
He makes a big deal of it, hamming it up as he hops over the bench and plops down, pulling out a sandwich and some chips and flattening out his lunch bag to make a plate for them.
Steve's sitting with the swim team today, and he watches some of the guys side eye Eddie like they're not sure what the joke is and who the punchline is supposed to be. He watches some of them look at him with disgust, too, and those he carefully files away to keep an eye on later.
“My liege!” Eddie announces cheerfully. “How fair you and your knights of the round table on this fine afternoon?”
“Your king is doing just fine, as long as you keep your boots on the ground and away from the top of the lunch table,” Steve retorts.
“Is this like when Carol used to call her and Tommy Duke and Duchess?” Jacob asks.
“Are we doing that, are we knights now?” Dorian asks, his eyes lighting up a little.
Dorian gets straight A's, Steve remembers that. English is his best class.
“Sure, why not?” Steve says, shrugging carelessly, even as he shoots a smile at Dorian. “You can be Sir Galahad.”
Michael groans. “Don't encourage him, this is stupid.”
Tanner snorts. “From the guy who calls his girlfriend princess.”
Michael flushes. “Shut up! It's just so Ashley will stop whining.”
“Uh-huh.” Jacob elbows him. “We've all heard you at Tina's parties pledging to be her knight in shining armor.”
They have, apparently, completely forgotten Eddie's existence as they fall back to ribbing on each other.
Steve turns to him, finding him watching the table with a narrow, calculating gaze.
“Eat your lunch,” Steve says. “My knights don't give a shit.”
These ones, anyway, and as long as Steve's there, but he's not going to say that.
They both know it.
Still, Eddie keeps it up. It's not every day, or every other day, or in any kind of recognizable pattern, but he'll plop himself down next to Steve's side like he belongs there whenever he feels like it.
Steve largely treats it like he doesn't give a shit, and most of the people he tends to sit with follow suit, if a couple of them can't seem to resist making snide little comments.
It's always the ones who make snide comments to everyone, the kind of assholes that Steve can't wait to get away from, so he mostly ignores it.
The sixth or seventh time it happens, Steve drops his apple on Eddie's folded over lunch bag.
Eddie stares at him.
“What?” Steve asks. “You're going to get scurvy if you keep eating nothing but bologna and Doritos for lunch.”
Eddie snorts. “I look like an eighteenth century pirate captain?”
Steve makes a show of looking him up and down again. “You look like something,” he replies.
Completely unexpectedly, Eddie flushes a little, picking up the apple and taking a comically large bite out of it.
Steve grins.
—
Steve's at swimming practice after school when Nancy and Jonathan show up.
The second he sees them hovering near the back door, he hauls himself up out of the pool, barely pausing to grab a towel on the way.
“What's happened?” he asks immediately, low and quick.
Jonathan's expression is a mess of worry, like he's trying not to panic, as he says, “I can't find Will.”
“We're supposed to pick him and Mike up from the AV club,” Nancy cuts in. “But they're not there, and they're not at any of their usual places at school.”
“Or at home, or anyone else's place, or the arcade,” Jonathan adds.
Steve's chest tightens. It's stupid, kids go off to places they're not supposed to be all the time - especially these kids - but given their track record, that doesn't mean they're not in trouble. “Let me grab my stuff, I'll be right there.”
Practice is almost done, anyway.
He shrugs into his windbreaker and grabs his backpack, darting out the door to follow them. He's already digging around in the backpack to pull out the walkie talkie Dustin gave him by the time he gets to them.
“Little shit better answer,” Steve grumbles, thumbing it on. “Dustin, you there?”
There's a tense pause as they wait.
“Dustin?” Steve tries again.
Nothing.
Jonathan's face goes a little paler, and Nancy's jaw clenches.
“Hey asshole, you're the one who made me carry this around, the least you could do is respond,” Steve bitches.
This time, the walkie flares to life.
“You're supposed to say over when you're done talking, Steve!” Dustin bitches back. “Otherwise I won't know it's my turn! Over.”
“Are you serious right now? It wasn't obvious enough?” Steve asks - then, because he wouldn't put it past Dustin to be a little shit about it, and he knows Jonathan is beyond worried - “Is Will with you? Over.”
“Yeah, he's right here. Why?” Dustin asks. “Over.”
Jonathan sags with relief.
“Was he maybe supposed to meet his brother somewhere?” Steve prompts. “Over.”
Whatever Dustin had been going to say in response to that is drowned out by a chorus of “Oh shit!” and “You said you were keeping track of the time!” and “Don't tell Mom, we'll be right there!”
Nancy rolls her eyes, taking the walkie from him. “Five minutes,” she says into it. “Or we're leaving without you and you can bike home. Over and out.”
Steve's pretty sure he and Jonathan both know that she doesn't mean that, but the kids don't know it, so he's equally sure that'll light a fire under their asses.
“Hey, Dustin, do you and Lucas need a ride home?” he asks once he gets the walkie back.
“And Max?” Dustin asks. “Over.”
“And Max,” Steve agrees, assuming that's a yes. “I'll meet you out front of the high school. Over.”
He shoves the walkie back in his bag, looking up to exchange a relieved look with Nancy and Jonathan.
“See you tomorrow?” Nancy asks, though Steve gets the feeling it's more to fill the silence that's gone a little awkward, now that the potential danger's passed.
“Sure,” Steve says.
“Thanks,” Jonathan tells him, eyes fixed somewhere at his left cheekbone like he's not entirely sure where to look.
“Any time.” It comes out too flippant, though, and Steve makes a face at himself as Jonathan turns to leave.
“Hey.” Steve reaches out, fingers curled loosely around Jonathan's wrist. “I mean it, okay? Any time.”
This time, Jonathan's eyes lock on his. After a moment, Jonathan's cheeks go a little pink, and then he nods before he follows Nancy down the hall.
Steve watches them for a moment or two, then drops his backpack down on a bench a little harder than he probably should, digging around for his sweatpants.
“I don't get it.”
Steve looks up as he's halfway through putting his pants on to see Eddie sidling up next to him in the hall.
“Don't get what?” Steve asks.
Eddie nods towards where Nancy and Jonathan just were. “The three of you.”
Steve shrugs. “We're friends, not a lot to get.”
He goes back to fighting with his sweatpants, wishing he'd dried off a little more before pulling them on over his speedo. They keep sticking to his thighs.
Eddie's gone quiet, though, and when Steve glances back up, he sees Eddie staring at him.
Steve cocks one eyebrow. “What?”
Eddie flushes, looking away. “Didn't figure you'd be so comfortable with the girl who broke your heart and the guy who stole her away, is all. Or hey, maybe she's putting out for both of you, maybe Byers is-”
“Hey,” Steve cuts in, tone sharp and firm in a way he hasn't had to do since he stopped hanging out with Tommy and didn't have to hold him back when he'd gone too far anymore.
But Eddie isn't like Tommy. Maybe he doesn't know Eddie all that well, but Steve gets the feeling he only lashes out when he's feeling cornered.
“Don't be a dick, man,” Steve says, voice softening a little. “They haven't done anything to you.”
Eddie looks back at him, a little surprised, before his expression goes contrite. “You're right,” he admits, easy as anything. “Sorry. It's good that you’re friends with your ex.”
Steve's sort of friends with most of his exes, but that's not the same. None of them were ever Nancy. “I do better as part of a trio,” he says instead of anything else, because it's kind of true.
Then, because he doesn't actually want to field any questions about that -
“Besides,” Steve adds. “If you've heard the rumors, you'd know that's not the kind of threesome I'm into.”
Eddie snorts inelegantly, like he's trying to cover up a laugh. “You telling me I should be putting stock in all the rumors I hear about you, Stevie?”
“Of course not. But the ones about my skills in the bedroom?” he shoots back. “Every word is truth.”
It's not, really. Or, well - not the one about the threesomes. Steve doesn't think sitting between two girls on the couch at a house party and going back and forth between kissing them counts as a threesome.
But it'd never been a hardship to combat that particular rumor, not when it meant he could take his time reassuring the girl he was with that no, he didn't want anyone else there, when he could spend a while making sure she felt important, felt good.
He thinks he'd kind of like spending some time making Eddie feel important.
Steve has no idea what the hell he's supposed to do with thoughts like that.
But he does know the way Eddie's eyes have lingered over his thighs and the line of his stomach and chest peeking out from his open windbreaker, and he-
“You want to find out which rumors are true, you just let me know,” he hears himself say.
Eddie doesn't bite, rolling his eyes and shoving him before he heads off, but Steve isn't deterred.
He hadn't missed the way Eddie's hand had lingered, either.
—
Steve and Eddie have free period together.
Well. Steve has a free period, at least. He's honestly not sure Eddie isn't just ditching, but it doesn't really matter.
They hang out together anyway.
They don't really say much, just - exist in the same space. Sometimes in the smoking area, sometimes at the track, sometimes at the picnic table, sometimes somewhere else in the woods.
They sit too close together when they're in the woods, shoulders or knees always touching.
A few times, Steve takes out his heart, lets himself breathe.
Eddie always glares at it, mutters, “I'm still not showing you mine, Harrington.”
Steve shrugs, tells him he still hasn't asked, and that's it.
Steve'll miss it once he graduates.
—
He graduates, and doesn't go to college, doesn't see Nancy or Jonathan or Eddie much anymore, and it's - it's fine.
He still hangs out with the kids, starts putting in job applications, and it's fine.
He's fine.
-----
This is already written, and my plan is to post one part a day until it's all up here!
Taglist (always happy to add more to this if anyone wants): @fairytalesreality @lostonceandneverfound @wheneverfeasible @awkwardgravity1 @theintrovertedintrovert @thewickedkat @ravenfrog @scarlet-malfoy @missmagillicuddy @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @ollyxar @cringe-culture-is-dead-99 @thedragonsaunt
#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#stranger things#steddie fic#nancy wheeler#jonathan byers#background jancy
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"I can't say we don't have any options. After all, I'm sure even GUN wouldn't wish to make an enemy of me or the Sol Empire. It may not be much of an advantage given I'm in their world, though it's at least something to push back with." Blaze was never one to use her status for threats or warnings, and today was the first time she's done it so much. Though the feline wouldn't sit by and let her friends be pushed around or threatened.
"Not to mention the fact they never even attempted to reach out to anyone about the fact Clutch is a criminal, or how they also knew Mimic was here in the base. I'm can only guess you guys had Mimic as a high priority of catching, so they should've known too. Easy to send a message if they have a spy in. Gives off the impression they set you guys up to fail. I only wish I had more solid proof on the rumors about the commander." Rowan was sure having solid intel on that guy would make them clear out in an instant.
"We also got Mimic in the Shadow Void to turn over. Can't say I trust GUN with someone like Mimic, if only because I wouldn't put it past them to put him to work, though it's something." Rowan wanted to just throw him in a hole and leave it at that, though he'd never hear the end of it from Tangle.
"If Surge is staying then so am I. They can try to take me, though they'll regret it in the end. All it takes is four to six minutes for someone to drown, and I can speed that up much faster with how smart I am." Kitsunami wasn't going to let anyone take Surge, or let anyone take him away from Surge. If GUN wanted to see how dangerous the fennec was then that was the fastest way to do it.
"It's okay Kitsunami. I doubt they'll try anything that'll tick you and Surge off." Belle wasn't surprised Kitsunami would go through such lengths, though gears and starters she didn't need to see him start racking up a body count of GUN soldiers. The tinkerer herself was thinking about what she should do. Tails and Lanolin had a point, yet so did Vector. Not to mention she was sure they'd only be interested in dismantling her. She was sure they could consider her as safe eggtech to copy.
"I won't go with GUN because I don't trust them. And if they want to take me just because of who my creator is then I'd be more than happy to bring up how they let Omega work for them." Belle knew Eggman created Omega, though as far as she knew they never tried to punish or arrest him. Hopefully that'd be of help to get them to leave her alone.
"So, we got Blaze backing us up, the fact they withheld the fact Clutch was a criminal, also not telling use Mimic was here, my unconfirmed dirt on the commander, and the fact they let Omega work for them. I guess we could also count them coming off as overly hostile." Rowan found all this excessive, at least without any warning.
"Is this a bad time to mention I also stole Clean Sweep's money? Maybe we should had that over, since I'm sure a lot of it must have been earned illegally." Belle could easily find out what was Restoration donations and what was Clean Sweep profit.
Lanolin watched Sonic, Belle and Kit enter, with Sonic leaning against a wall, and Kit finding a place to sit. She rubbed the back of her neck looking to Blaze with unsure eyes. It stood to reason that GUN had its network of spies. Two people knew all about Belle outside of the people who worked here. It was easy to assume Rouge and Shadow had given all kinds of reports to GUN though she liked to believe Rouge wouldn't have given those kinds of details.
" It could have been anyone, Both shadow and rouge work for GUN and had full access to this information. But even if we say they wouldn't do that--- plenty of volunteers come and go through the workshop. Any one of them could have overheard her, or us talk about it. Or they could have gained information from the eggnet itself... how isn't important right now. The fact is they know and she's on there radar... honestly this was bound to happen eventually. I think we all knew that... "
Sonic looked at Belle flexing his hands with that anger flashing across his face again. He wasn't gonna let anyone get to Belle, and he'd die before he let them take her. But Belle was right running from GUN was probably the last thing she wanted. This was a mess and worse, it wasn't the kind of mess he could punch away. Eggman was easy to deal with but GUN? Politics sucked! But his eyes went to Kitsunami and he couldn't help but worry how he'd react to Surge's plans, damn how was he gonna do this? His eyes shifted to Rowan as he came back and he smiled!
" Hah! well ring tail! you are doing better then most! you wouldn't believe how many can't hold it down! so kudos to you! "
His thoughts broke as Miles finally made his way up stairs, and Sonic and he shared a fist Bump. At least his mood seemed 10 shades brighter as if the fox mellowed him out. His eyes turned to Lanolin as she got everyones attention now that Miles was there.
" Alright... guess that is everyone but Surge--- Here is the situation! The United Federation of Nations president has personally spoke with me. He's made his stance clear... he sees Restoration as a rogue element... it was fine at first they even commended our work. But taking in Surge, Kitsunami, and Belle seemed to set of red flags. Clutch's deception only cemented there stance... "
" The President ants to shut us down until a full investigation can be performed. It's likely he intends to arrest Surge, and Kitsunami... i can't say what his intent with Belle is yet. The point is... if we fight back we become enemies of the the free world... enemies of gun and we prove them right! I don't trust them either... i doubt Amy would... I think we have to play there game... I don't see another way out of this that doesn't get people killed and our donations cut for good... "
She sighed and rubbed her own cheek looking at Belle and Kit specifically.
" Belle, Kitsunami and Surge i get it if you want to cut and run... i won't stop you. But this ... this is the only choice we have to keep our work going... no matter what i feel about you both, and i've come to see you as friends. I have to look out for the well being of the organization... our work is to important... i hope you understand..."
Sonic let out a deep breath through his nose, he somehow ventured this was the outcome. He hated every word Lanolin said! She was just gonna give up like that? and what let them come in and shut it all down! or worse take control? this was bullshit!
" Oh come on Lanolin you can't be serious! Those guys will make up what ever story they want! just let surge and i kick there butts! and send them packing! "
" No Sonic, she's right... Restoration relies heavily on donations and volunteers. If the United Federation of Nations declares us an enemy of the state or terrorists. We'd lose all funding, and worse people would be to afraid to help out. If we fight we lose, if they come in we still lose but at least there is a chance to fight it in court, or argue our side of things... logically speaking its a risky move but... if we fight we defiantly lose..."
Miles looked over at Belle with a sad look
" It might also be a chance for Belle to finally argue her case to the people and be accepted as a citizen... but, they could also dismantle her or lump her in with eggman. This is a big risk for all parties... especially surge, Kitsunami and belle... they have a tough choice to make..."
" Well, we chaotix have always remained free lance--- but ifin' they do come in and investigate. We can do our own investigation... least have our own evidence to use against them... but as someone who grew up in the hood--- If they gots the right judge you ain't ever gonna win that case... you all sure you wanna go down that road? "
" I know this is bad but ... unless anyone has better plan... i'm out of options... and the clock is ticking. I don't want anyone hurt... we all came together to fight eggman, not the goverment. I just--- i'm open to ideas... its why i called you here... "
#atangledfate#Blaze the Cat#burning sol guardian#Rowan the Lemur#dangerous fighting uncle#Kitsunami the Fennec#nervous shaking water#Belle the Tinkerer#gentle puppet tinkerer#rp#ic#oc#IDW Sonic
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The Companions and Separation Anxiety
So something occurred to me while working on a WIP. It mostly started with Astarion, but then drifted to consider the others you could romance as well. I was mostly thinking of Star at the time, and the others came from conversation
If you consider everything that happened, from the moment they met, Tav and Star have never really spent any time apart for maybe longer than a few hours at most. And yes, I'd considered even the times he's left at camp. Because even if he's left at camp, all of them have that underlying mission and the need to rely on their allies. For all the allies that you gather in the game, you still keep everyone outside of your little group at something of an arms length. The only ones that spend even a little bit of time at your camp in the same vein as the rest of your companions are Dame Aylin and Isobel (no I'm not counting Alfira, because in Durge runs she isn't likely to survive a single night XDD poor baby).
All of our time is spent with our companions from the moment we meet, and for the ones we romance, I don't think it'd be far fetched to think that after everything is said and done, the brain and all other enemies dealt with, our chosen romanced companion could very well have some measure of separation anxiety if Tav/Durge had need to leave their side for longer than a day or two.
Especially with Astarion I think he would be hit hardest in this, because before his adventure with everyone, he had no choice but to watch everyone he might have had even a flicker of feelings for being taken away and never return. Kudos where he deserves them, he did a LOT of growing during the journey, but old habits die hard too. So even if he's in a better place at the end, he could very well experience some measure of separation anxiety the first time they need to really be apart from each other. This could be even worse if playing a Durge, as it might be a bit more intense considering he's already experienced his partner dying in front of him and being completely helpless to do anything to stop it before Withers steps in.
With Durge, Astarion had spent 200 years praying to every god he knew for a savior from his torment, watching as everything, every piece of himself was taken away from him. Then, the first truly good thing to happen to him, the first person who acknowledged him as someone worthy of love and respect, was ripped away from him by a god. And once again, he couldn't do anything to stop it. Even with Withers bringing them back, I doubt he's going to be completely fine with Tav/Durge being too far away from him for a while.
I'd imagine Gale and Shadow might have similarly bad reactions, yet not quite to the level that Star may get. They would also have comparable ways of dealing with it I think, reassuring Tav/Durge that they're fine, and that they understand, but their mannerisms aren't as assured as they usually are, and their words may be more clipped and sharp. They just really don't want to think about it, and try their best to ignore it.
Lae'zel I think would just, do everything physical to try not thinking about it. She acts like she's not worried about them, when in reality she's secretly counting the seconds until they're home. She keeps it all inside, because realistically she knows they can handle themselves, but she's not the emotional type. I think she might try losing herself in training. Like she's just, working herself to near exhaustion, putting in every effort to not think about it.
Honestly I think the only ones who wouldn't really be hit by it would be Wyll and Karlach. Like, they'd still feel the worry, but they'd be the ones to handle it best. Wyll and Karlach have been used to being on their own for quite a while before the tadpole, and judging by their dialogue during the reunion, I would guess they may still worry, but it wouldn't truly bother them unless they got word that Tav/Durge was in some serious trouble.
Halsin would likely be the only one who would be a middle-ground in all this I think. He'd do everything he could with the kids and the village, but then if he finds himself with enough time to think about it, he'd probably just, I dunno, chop some wood and build a table or something XDDDD Tav/Durge would come home to find that he's got a whole new 12 person table with chairs and carved dining set and cutlery. He's also carved a mother and father duck gently touching beaks as a centerpiece, and all the other carved ducklings have the names of everyone he knows carefully carved into them and placed in front of each seat. He's also been talking to them. People have been worried about him, but they didn't want to say anything XDDDD
#bg3 astarion#bg3 tav#baldurs gate 3#bg3 karlach#bg3 wyll#bg3 shadowheart#bg3 gale#bg3 lae'zel#bg3 halsin#bg3 headcanons#halsin silverbough#lae'zel of k'liir#shadowheart#jenevelle hallowleaf#wyll ravengard#astarion ancunin#gale dekarios#gale of waterdeep#karlach cliffgate
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season 2 started off beautifully. I was ecstatic at the end of episode three, for the simple reason that it had the same spirit as season 1. Vi feeling like she made a mistake so big trying to reach Powder instead of seeing Jinx and the danger she represented that the only way to fix that for her was to join her oppressors. Caitlyn destroying all the progress she'd made, unlearning what she'd been taught about Zaun by being with zaunites like Vi, the moment one of them killed her mother, and embracing her roots we can say, talking of bad blood and "I thought you were different"- showing that the internalised racism was always there ready to resurface the moment it had an excuse to. Caitlyn saying that her mother being killed by a teenager who's never dealt with her trauma and mental illness is the same thing as Vi's parents being killed by members of a military institution, disregarding everything she knew about the pain and abuse Vi went through because of the Enforcers. a "men get abused too" situation, in which one ignores the social and historical background of that type of violence to feel less sorry about it. they were perfectly well written, because they are things we see everyday. my father taught me as a child that black people crossing the Mediterranean to look for work in Italy were a good thing, and now that he's had problems at work with one he's started saying the opposite. a gay man I knew laughed at trans folks and said they made things worse for us, ridiculing them in the company of straight people to feel less threatened. (not the exact same thing as what happened to Vi, but you get what I mean).
those are real things, and Arcane has always been good at showing real things.
later on, episode seven, Jayce fell down. he landed in the deepest hole of Zaun, broke his leg, was forced to wear a brace to walk, suffered and had to claw his way back to the surface, to Piltover, in a strange metaphor of Viktor's journey and life (saw a post talking even more beautifully about this, will put the link here if I find it again), and once he met Viktor again, he told him his illness, his legs, he, were beautiful. not despite everything. because of it. and now he can understand him a little more. now he says "your imperfections are beautiful" and we can believe him, because he's not speaking from the perspective of a man trying to convince his friend to stop harming others. he's a man trying to make his partner see that he still loves him, now that he's finally understood him after years of trying to reach the truth and always being stopped by something, and that he understands him enough to know why he's harming others, and that he cares for him enough to think that he will be able to understand why it's wrong. it's Viktor accepting the inevitability of being seen by someone who went to hell and back to reach him.
those were fucking beautiful arcs. they were.
and then?
Vi saw Caitlyn become what she'd always said she wouldn't become, and there were no repercussions. Catelyn got to walk away and live all the same. she lost an eye to Ambessa, but it was no punishment for what she'd done. how many people did she harm? how many people did her actions have repercussions on? Vi shouted at her once, and then it was like it had never happened- which is still real, I guess. it happens everyday. but I didn't see any wish to make us see how that was wrong. I don't want to be told "this is wrong", I'm old enough and smart enough to understand this, but I also think I can see the difference between trying to show deeper meanings and not wanting to deal with difficult plot lines.
and Zaun? it was sad. pathetic. years of abuse were what, forgotten and then vanished in thin air because there was a common enemy? that, sadly, isn't real. it isn't. years or oppression can't be forgotten so easily, not by the oppressed, for one "glorious" fight. it's lazy. what started as a good depiction of reality turned into an american wet dream of big fights and sad sacrifice scenes and epic love stories that cross any difficulty, and economic and social difference. don't you dare say something against Caitlyn and Vi's ending, they went through all that, they deserve nice things. they do. many other people did. no one cared about them tho.
so.
epic failure. good soundtracks tho.
#arcane#arcane spoilers#arcane season 2#arcane s2#caitlyn kiramman#vi arcane#jayce talis#viktor arcane#jayvik#caitvi#arcane zaun#piltover and zaun#what if I cried because ekko deserved better#don't take this too seriously im in no way and expert I need to talk tho🧙🏻♂️
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Arcane Brain Dump 1/? | Jinx & Caitlyn
There were a lot of things I wanted to see in the finale that I didn't get, which wasn't surprising knowing there wasn't much time. But one thing that I really wanted and didn't actually expect to get was a 1 on 1 conversation with Jinx and Caitlyn. I was so excited when it was happening, because I felt like it was necessary for both characters to talk with each other, especially after episode 6 when they're suddenly fighting on the same side, and where they COULD have become family if it hadn't all gone to shit.
Before the season started I didn't think there was any hope for Jinx and Caitlyn to actually reconcile. Like, I thought at best Cait might stop hunting her for Vi's sake, but would still hate her. But then Isha came along and Jinx changed so much, and Caitlyn was isolated and depressed and tired, and I thought "hmm maybe they can get past the feud?" Unfortunately I guess we'll never know for sure, but I really do think that conversation was step 1 for them getting along. It was so interesting to see because you can see that Caitlyn is still in pain about her loss, but it's also been enough time since then, and so much has happened that the rage she was feeling in the beginning of the season has fizzled out. Which is relatable. It's exhausting to keep up that kind of hatred for someone, especially if they change in the way that Jinx did. The Jinx in that cell in front of Caitlyn was a completely different person than the one who kidnapped her out of the shower and killed her mother. I think that seeing Jinx with Isha and Vi and Vander also showed Caitlyn how much had changed. Because even from her first meeting with Jinx, there was tension between her and Vi. Jinx held a gun up to Vi's face in that first meeting, and was instantly aggressive towards Caitlyn. But in that tent with the whole family, Jinx didn't even care that Caitlyn was there. If anything she seemed kind of smug, because Caitlyn still thinks of her as an enemy but Jinx just saved her life. It's almost like a game, like what can Caitlyn do now? She lost some of her argument about Jinx being evil. Also, in that moment she can't do anything even if she wanted to. I saw a lot of people talking about how it didn't make sense that Caitlyn was suddenly fine with Jinx and didn't try to kill her. Which is silly because first of all, Caitlyn didn't have her weapon, she left it in the tent with Vi and Vi hadn't returned yet. So she couldn't really do anything. Also they just watched Beast Vander throw this huge man out the side of the building to protect his daughter, so if Caitlyn tries to hurt Jinx in any way she's absolutely gonna get torn to pieces. And then immediately after that everything starts to go to shit, and Vi is there, and they have other things to worry about in that moment. Especially once Ambessa starts attacking. It's a shame that we didn't also get to see the immediate aftermath of the battle with Cait, Jinx, and Jayce rushing Vi to safety. I mean idk how far Piltover is from the fissure, but it's not a fast journey lol. The three of them together must have been interesting, especially since Caitlyn hasn't seen Jayce in however many months it's been since before the time skip. Another thing I was sad to not see actually, was Cait and Jayce's reunion and Cait being like "wtf happened to you? where have you been?!" Alas...
Anyway, I'm glad they gave us that prison scene with the two of them. They just came out and addressed their issue, realized how different things were, and both kind of chose to move on. I mean Jinx is devastated and suicidal, she's completely given up, and also she's still the good person that Isha helped her become. Jinx has no reason to hate Caitlyn. The only thing Caitlyn's done to Jinx is hunt her after Jinx murdered her mother. And because Jinx wants to die, she tells Caitlyn to just do it. Except Caitlyn's changed too. She's tired of fighting, and the kid in front of her (cause Jinx is a kid...) looks as sad and tired as she feels. Even more so. It wasn't a long conversation, but I think it was just what they needed to hear from each other, and what the audience needed to hear. Caitlyn admits that her hatred for Jinx changed her in ways that made her hate herself, and she didn't want to be like that anymore. And then Jinx comes pretty much as close as she's gonna get to apologizing to Caitlyn for killing her mom. She doesn't say the words "I'm sorry," but when she says "I didn't know your mom was there" it kind of does feel like an apology. Or at the very least, I think it's Jinx telling Caitlyn that it wasn't personal. She wasn't trying to hurt Caitlyn specifically, she was trying to hurt the system that had oppressed and neglected her home for so long. And in that moment, she was too filled with grief over Silco to hold back.
So I think that conversation really brings some closure to both of them. They kind of get past their feud and just move on. There are so many other things to worry about now, and so many bad things have happened. And in the process of rushing Vi back to Piltover, I imagine it helped each of them see how much the other loves Vi. And I think that loving Vi is part of the motivation to put it behind them. Vi would never forgive Jinx if she killed Caitlyn, or hurt her. And now, despite what Vi told Cait before their first fight, I think Cait knows Vi would never forgive her if she hurt or killed Jinx. They both do what they do in the end of that episode FOR Vi. Jinx runs and locks Vi in the cage so Vi can't follow her, and she tells Vi that she deserves to be happy without feeling guilty, and specifically tells Vi she deserves to be with Cait. I mean that's a HUGE deal. Especially since Vi wasn't present for the journey back from the fissures, so she didn't actually see Cait and Jinx working together. In her mind they're still at square 1 for the most part.
And then Caitlyn goes and calls the guards away so that Vi can free Jinx, knowing she'll do so. I've seen a lot of people confused about Cait's line "did you really think I needed all of the enforcers at the Hexgates?" which is fair because I was also confused at first lol. But what Caitlyn is telling Vi, is that she knew VI would come to free her sister, so she did what she could to clear the way for Vi to be able to do that. She's basically telling Vi in that moment that she's moved past her anger enough to let Jinx go, and to stop hunting her. It's such a freeing moment for Vi, because the two people she loves the most, who were furiously trying to kill each other before, have finally made peace. It takes a huge weight off of Vi's shoulders, no longer having to be stuck between two people she loves who hate each other. And Jinx has just told her "go get your girl" and now Caitlyn is standing there smugly telling her that she basically let Jinx go. That's why Vi reacts the way she does, it's such a relief to be past that conflict and have permission from both of them to be happy.
Anyway, I thought it was a great moment, and even though it wasn't a long conversation between Cait and Jinx, I think it's exactly what they both needed. It was the closure they needed to move on. If Jinx had stayed around, they still would have had more work to do surely before they actually got along well, but it was suddenly possible after that talk. And I hope that in the continuation of this story that they finally get there someday. Because based on the ending I really don't think Jinx is dead. And Caitlyn is holding Jinx's monkey bomb in her hand, contemplating and looking up the Hexgate plans. She has to be looking to see if there was any way Jinx could have escaped, probably because Vi is devastated and she wants to help take that hurt away. Imagine if Cait could bring Vi her sister back? Or at least if she could let Vi know for sure that she wasn't dead. That would be huge. What a difference between the way these three started, and where they ended.
#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane s2#caitlyn kiramman#jinx arcane#jinx#vi#vi arcane#caitlyn & jinx#caitvi#jinx is alive#caitlyn is healing#my thoughts#rambles
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Can i please have a Ashlyn x fem reader??🥺 were the Sbg group does the pocky challenge and manages to get Ashlyn to agree to join, and so everyone has a turn with each other (Except for the siblings and cousins ofc) and Ashlyn keeps on backing out every 1-3 bites. While fem reader beats everyone. But then it finally came to Ashlyn and Fem readers round, and surprisingly Ashlyn didn’t back out and they both get really close to each other and finally the reader backs out blushing and Ashlyn wins. (SORRY IF THIS IS A VERY LONG DESC, ive requested this multiple times but i dont think anyone has done or approved of it yet im despratee🤧)
this is actually so cute wtf....thank you for the req! 🫶🫶
— POCKY CHALLENGE!
ashlyn banner (school bus graveyard) x fem!reader
warnings/tags: fluff, mild language, mutual pining, confessions!!
"this is so dumb."
"oh, don't be a downer, ashlyn!" aiden retorts, opening the pocky box, struggling to open the actual package. "this is gonna be so fun!"
"yeah!" taylor nods from her spot on the couch. "we're all friends, it won't be weird or anything. celebrities do this all the time!"
"this isn't a variety show like those kpop idols you watch, taylor," tyler rolls his eyes.
"don't disrespect them!" taylor points a finger at her brother.
"anyways," you say loud enough for them all to hear. "who should go first?"
"i want to!" both taylor and aiden raise their hands excitedly.
"alrighty then," you nod. ben takes the package from aiden who was still struggling and opens it before handing it to you. "taylor hernandez, in the right corner!" you announce as you stand up. "aiden clark, in the left corner!" you fail to notice a pair of eyes on you as you stand between taylor and aiden, taking a pocky out of the package. "okay, i'm going to give you guys one of these, both of you will have each end in your mouth and you'll get closer and closer until one chickens out. this is basically a fun game of chicken. remember, we're all friends! if anything happens, i doubt it'll do anything. are you two ready?" you glance between the two.
"ready!" they say and nod.
"awesome," you grin, handing the pocky to aiden. "round one, start!"
you sit back down on the couch next to ashlyn watching the next few rounds go on. you were grinning from ear to ear every time it was your turn, winning each time you competed. ben was keeping score for fun, and you were easily winning with aiden trailing close behind, only losing cause he backed out at the same time ashlyn did when they did theirs.
now, it was ashlyn and tyler, the second to last round before it was you and ashlyn. taylor was sitting beside you while watching aiden announce the start of the round.
"y'know, i think she's nervous," taylor says to you in a hushed voice.
"hm? i'm surprised she even agreed," you reply, looking over at taylor. "i mean, this was aiden's idea so."
"that's not what i mean," taylor shakes her head. "i mean clearly she's getting more nervous because you're the last round." she says, trying to subtly hint at you ashlyn's feelings towards you.
now you look at her with confusion. "why? cause i keep winning?" you question.
taylor stares at you with a deadpan expression. you're serious. jesus christ. "no," she says slowly. "because-"
"and tyler wins!" aiden exclaims, clapping his hands. "and another loss for ashlyn." he says with a sigh. "anyways! for the final round we have yn and ashlyn! yn, get your ass over here!" aiden grins.
you get up from your spot on the couch and stand in front of ashlyn, smiling lightly as aiden hands you the pocky.
"alright, this is the last round, folks!" aiden says. "if yn wins, she wins the whole thing! if ashlyn somehow manages to win...i guess she also wins the whole thing cause yn is undefeated! are you two ready?" he looks at you two.
"yep," you nod, grinning as you put one end of the pocky in your mouth.
"i guess," ashlyn mutters with a nod, taking a step closer and putting the other end of the pocky in her mouth.
"amazing! let the final round start!" aiden yells, taking a few steps back and sitting on the couch next to ben.
ashlyn's eyes don't meet yours as you take a bite off the pocky, inching closer to her. she can't believe she agreed to do this stupid thing. but, when she finally does look at you, a sudden wave of confidence hits her, and she's determined to win. whether that be making you back out or getting to the end and kissing you. she takes two bites off the pocky, getting much closer than you anticipated causing your breath to hitch in your throat, a small blush forming on your face as you peer back at her.
she's taking you serious, and you couldn't tell if that was a good thing or not. she had backed out within the first three bites with everyone else, and she just bite off more than you did first in all the other rounds. you try to keep your hands from shaking too much, shoving them in the pockets of your jacket so no one can see, starting to panic slightly as you take another bite.
one of ashlyn's eyebrows raise seeing you visibly tense up as you took another bite. you're nervous. that's new considering how well you were doing beforehand. a small smirk makes its way onto her face as she takes another bite, her lips inches away from yours.
you freeze as ashlyn takes another bite, thinking she would back out by now. there was maybe two inches left of the pocky, and you could feel her breath hitting your lips from how close you were. you're not sure if you're breathing at this point, seeing the smirk form on her face and realizing she knows you're nervous. shit, when did she suddenly look so pretty? your face heats up more as your thoughts run around, and you find yourself cursing and pulling your face away from her.
everyone's jaws drop as soon as you take a few steps back, staring in shock as you quickly turn and look away.
"holy shit..." aiden lets out, standing up. "ashlyn has won!" he exclaims, clapping his hands. "great job, ash! as for you yn, i'm disappointed! what the hell happened?!" he looks at you.
"nothing," you quickly shake your head, not being able to look at anyone knowing how much you were blushing. "i need something to drink," you say, speedily walking away into the kitchen.
leaning your back against the kitchen island, you cover your face with your hands, groaning quietly in embarrassment. "such a dumb idea," you murmur into your hands.
"that's my line, y'know,"
you jump in surprise at the voice, removing your hands from your face to see ashlyn standing in front of you, fairly close. your eyes widen slightly as she takes a step closer to you, your mouth feeling dry as you look at her.
"why were you so nervous?" she questions. "with me, i mean," she adds.
"what?" you try to play it off, very obviously lying. "i wasn't nervous."
"uh-huh," ashlyn nods, leaning closer to you and seeing your eyes go wider. "see, you're nervous again. i can hear your breathing hitch. so why?"
shit, that didn't work. you don't know what to do now. you either admit the feelings you had and hope it doesn't blow up in your face, or lie again and hope it works. with a quiet, hushed voice, you manage to get words out. "i-i like you,"
a small smile forms on ashlyn's face at your confession. "good, cause i feel the same," she says in the same voice as yours. "now, can i kiss you since your dumbass chickened out before i could?"
all you do is nod your head, leaning closer as she does, your lips connecting with hers. it was short, pulling away quickly to not get caught by the others. you smile at her fondly, reaching for her hand and grabbing it. "see? this wasn't that dumb of an idea."
"yeah, i guess," ashlyn nods, a tiny smile on her face. "i'm not doing it again, though.
"even if it meant you would get a free pass to kiss me?" you tease.
"maybe not."
#school bus graveyard#sbg#sbg x reader#school bus graveyard x reader#sbg imagines#sbg (webtoon)#ashlyn banner#ashlyn banner x reader#ashlyn x reader#request
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ok here are some In Stars and Time thoughts: (wow! that's a lot of thoughts actually! long post warning! also warning for like every possible spoiler, don't read this if you haven't engaged with the game to your satisfaction)
I'm obsessed with the fact that the loop that ends up being the final one is the one where EVERYTHING goes wrong. I spent the whole game subconsciously building up my Perfect Final Loop in my mind, how I'd get every item to make sure I didn't miss an opportunity to use em, do all the friendquests and such... I didn't even realize I'd been building up that ideal scenario until after credits rolled! Really really cool. The timeline where Siffrin does the worst stuff he does in any loop is the one that stays. And it's still a happy ending! it's a better ending because of that! His friends saw him at his worst and still loved him! He didn't have to do everything perfect to keep them around actually! Something about that feels so right, to me.
I keep using "ludonarrative resonance" to describe this game and yeah ok I'm huffing my own farts here whipping that out but whatever, it's REAL. The player and Siffrin are on the EXACT same emotional journey as each other, we're getting tired of seeing the exact same lines over and over again right alongside them, we're taking shortcuts because we've seen it all before and just want to grab key open door grab crest etc etc make the progress go. We're starting to find these previously-charming characters grating because we've just seem them repeat the SAME lines over and over and over and OVER again until they start feeling like caricatures of themselves who we can barely feel any real compassion for any more.... It's just so.... clean, it's so perfect, to me. It helps that Siffrin is also one of the more relatable characters I've encountered in, like, media. I don't usually relate to fictional characters much, but, man, the emotional constipation, the building scorn, the depression, the Being Weird About Touch... I mentioned in another post that it's really just Siffrin and Murderbot who I've ever found viscerally relatable, of all the characters ever in media. So like, it's a pretty rare position. (I do not relate to the pun-love though. I'm funny I'm good at goofs but bad puns are extremely tedious to me. Which perhaps goes to show how well-realized Siffrin is, given that I'm able to look the other way....)
I think they could have stood to make Loop's Whole Deal a bit more obvious. I had no clue what their fucking deal was at any point. I totally missed the interaction that lets you learn about The Incident and thus get more Loop info at the end, and... it's valid to have different endings in a game of course, but... I felt like I really missed out tbh! And I had no way of knowing I had to keep interacting with the silver coin.... idk. It felt a bit like a gotcha I suppose. And Loop's deal is really cool! Holy hell! I'm doing a quick replay of the game to see more convos with them with this context, and to get the ending with them, and like--!!! There's so much here! Loop tellins Sif to use the royal We, they even tell Siffrin, like-- Loop asks Siffrin why he doesn't just tell his friends about the loops, maybe they can help, why keep it a secret? Meanwhile... Loop!Siffrin is stuck in their own helpless timefuckery world and refusing to let Siffrin know about it! The Siffrin from the Start Again timeline never learned those lessons, they're still trying to help someone else while refusing to ask for help themselves, refusing to even let on that there's a problem! And getting more and more emotionally fucked up about it! Man it's good. I guess it does make a replay more rewarding, not knowing this until the end, the first time, but so much of the game is already a replay that, idk, it does feel weird to replay it. I've already done so many repetitions y'all.... But I guess that's pretty meta, also...
Oh I'm under the impression this is not terribly uncommon but I absolutely did get got by the ?diary? that had the story of the person making a duplicate of themselves so they had someone to talk to. Like I fully thought that was describing the King and Siffrin, I spent a long time under the mistaken impression that Siffrin was a copy of the King in some capacity. Oops.... I might try to gently lead Beloved Roomie away from this interpretation when she plays it. Planning on being pretty hands-off overall but this is one area where I feel it might be justified to violate the prime directive.... But we'll see!
I wish I liked the music more..... This is a game that I think really begs for some real heartwrenching tunes to enhance all of the everything but instead none of it does it for me at all. I think that's a real shame, it's by far my biggest complaint. I'm not asking for Undertale-tier, but, at least something I'd want to put on my playlist for the emotional resonance, y'know?
THEY ACTUALLY KILLED THE KID !!!! LIKE!!!! I guess I have some biases I might should think about but I was not expecting a game that begins with so many explicit pronouns introductions (rather than just giving us context clues) and that has no real cursing to be willing to kill the kid, even impermanently? Let alone so gruesomely? I think I was expecting a much greater level of.... idk, tweeness, fanglessness, than we actually got. In spite of being a fan of insertdisc5's comics for YEARS and years! And like! Damn! Props to them!
God. God. So, like. All the ending fakeouts were fucking great. I genuinely thought the All Friendship Quests ending might be the Real One, I was prepared to be disappointed because it felt too soon and just not.... quite.... right? But I did think that was probably where it was heading! But it wasn't! I got got and it's so heartwrenching and also so satisfying, the mood whiplash from loop to loop is fucking sublime.
And-- AND! The real ending! So like. Some of the stuff I missed was just me not pursuing specific content correctly. But some of it is genuinely just, like, stuff that has no actual purpose besides flavor. Flavor, and.... The locked passphrase door in Dormont. The four-pointed leaf you can get (but not in the final loop!), the bell chime, etc etc. You can't actually really do anything with any of this stuff. But you don't know that! It feels like there's still all these loose ends! And!!! Those loose ends do their job SO WELL! The dev knows Gamer Instincts, knows people are gonna have that mental tally of boxes-yet-to-be-checked. Left some forever unchecked on purpose, which-- At the end, the real end, when Siffrin is about to talk to the Head Housemaiden and find out, for real, if this is the final loop or if it's all going to happen again, again, again. He's scared. He's traumatized! He's thought he Had It so many times! SO many times!!! Hope is terrifying! Hope is a poison! And the game has left these loose threads, and at least for me I really was not sure it was going to work. Like it seemed likely but the same metaknowledge of story structure that made me think it was likely also told me "but wait, there's all these loose threads, and the only way for them to trick us again WOULD BE to make the ending SO elaborate and epilogue-y....." I was nervous right along with Siffrin! I was uncertain! Fucking fantastic work, using my own gamer's instincts against me. Thrilled about it.
All the characters are so well realized. They all have specific relationships with each other, not just with Siffrin (Important!!!!! Huge complaint I had with BG3, they didn't put their whole pussies into this!!!!). And, and, I love how they all have different feelings about the time loops. I love that Mirabelle doesn't want "spoilers," and meanwhile Bonnie doesn't mind them and thinks of their alt-selves as like... them-but-not-them in a very cool way.
There's something about-- the way the game starts as a regular degular videogame and then graaaadually becomes, essentially, a visual novel as the actual gameplay becomes trivialized. Which itself is like, really really cool with the themes! And also, just.... I never would have picked up a straight up visual novel, I just, don't get into them, I'd rather read a book, but! I was already invested! It got its hooks into me when there was gameplay mixing things up and those hooks weren't about to let go just because the gameplay didn't super matter any more!
Straight up when we first see Red I didn't at all process that it was a Color in a game with No Colors, Canonically. They had to spell it out for me. It didn't occur to me to be surprised. I'm just too used to colors existing I guess idk. I think I wish the colors thing had gone somewhere a bit more...? I'm GUESSING it mostly originated as just a cute little explanation for why the game is all grayscale and then fit in with enough stuff to be given elevated importance (?) But it felt... hm. Underdeveloped, maybe. I think I really want more stories in this.... "Setting" and "Universe" and "Series" are not quite the right words but hopefully you get the idea. I want more so there can be one that develops that more. Not that leaving stones unturned is, like, illegal ofc. I just find the idea very compelling....
What is it with time loop stories and themes of loss that cannot be outsmarted. Man. I wondered, for so long, if Siffrin's country was going to be restored in people's minds, if that was one of the main big Plot Things we'd see. And it just didn't! Their memory is going to keep being bad, they're going to keep having all these huge tragic gaps and it's just. What can you do. At some point you have to either be permanently paralyzed by the horrific injustice you've suffered-- or you have to try to live a life. And. Man. I don't think I've actually ever encountered a story that was so much about that exact specific form of loss, the loss of one's culture, history, language! All of it. Gone from everywhere. It made me think of the obvious things and just. Man. What a howling void. The contrast with Odile's deal made it a lot more effective too I think. More of an expanded meditation upon these themes than just one toe dipping in, I guess? Hm.
Odile's battle profile pic when she's at low health is so fucking hot this cartoon character is so hot goddammit.
Game good. You're only reading this if you've already played it, I hope, so I can't use this space to recommend it in a meaningful way but. Heck. Game good.
#toasts poasts#in stars and time#isat#effort#media#I had SO MANY THOUGHTS it turns out!#way more than I realized! I just kept going!
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Can we talk about how fcked up Charles can be sometimes? Can we talk about how Charles can sometimes be actually scary as a person? Like he can legit be nefarious sometimes, but those moments are not as talked about as Erik's warcrimes (aside from the holocaust visions from TAS)
girlfriend i promise we're all very aware about how wack charles xavier can be and i assure you his nefarious moments are talked plenty from what i run into. like outside of this inbox most times you breathe charles' name to someone they'll be prepared to start swinging
#snap chats#its kinda funny tho. like out of all the charas ive fave'd over the years its funny how charles incites the most violence#and i get it i aint sayin it unfounded !!! just funny alright i stand with my problematic wife and all his wrongdoings. sometimes.#six decades of writers and writing decisions will lead to a lot of Girl What decisions#like marvel ruins. where charles is president. sorry girls im bringing it up if we wanna talk bout Fucked Up Charles#i mean those issues arent really. good. not just cause its grotesquely dark I Can Enjoy Dark And Gruesome Themes#the art's also hauntingly beautiful to look at its sad it's attached to such a nothing series. theres no real story ..#like i doint MIND dark or morally-dubious charles im a fan of it even when its done right or interesting#but thats where marvel ruins fumbles It Doesnt Do Anything Interesting with a morally corrupt charles#it just goes 'yeah hes fucked up and does terrible things now' like ok and .......... wheres the rest of the sauce ...#a less Gruesomely Fucked decision comparatively charles did was plant a virus on david because he didnt trust him Not to fuck things up#he regrets it like five seconds later after he realized How Fucked Up That Was but still ... charles ... im going to chokeslam you...#back to the main topic tho. its very funny because charles be catching strays on xmen twitter too#and i mean The Sincerest Of Strays tho i guess if you try Any xmen topic can go back to charles#but the post'll be bout an entirely different bloke or lass and theyll be wishing ill will on cue ball like girl he aint even HERE#anyway. yeah charles' imperfections is what makes him really interesting. to me. thank you#now for my next post to be an awkward juxtaposition to this one unless someone ones to throw in an ask last minute#and i mean very last minute i think i have all the tags typed up ont he other one vjeLKEJA
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just noticed a plot hole in my mcd rewrite fic, cycles of love
gonna have to go back through all the chapters to rewrite whatever snippets have it
#aphmau#no but mcd is so hard to rewrite. mainly because of something I don’t think jess gets enough credit for with her writing#the plot of mcd is composed like a stack of dominos. where every little thing#even the nonsensical and fillery and crazy things that you think don’t matter or think can be easily cropped out for sanity sake#they build on top of one another and directly lead into future plot points that hinge on the tiniest details#like. for example. when levin is born#originally I thought that was a detail that didn’t really matter so I just changed it so that Matilda gives birth to levin AFTER Vylad#saves her and puts her in Scaleswind yeah?#yeah turns out Aphmau traveling to Scaleswind to meet Matilda in the first place depends on Gene/zenix/sasha knowing what levin looks like#in order to perfectly describe him for the missing child report that Aphmau follows to Scaleswind#yknow. the fake missing child report. because Vylad is hiding Matilda and levin from them and they’re trying to find levin#which MEANS they need to know what levin looks like in order to perfectly describe him#which only would have been possible if levin had been born BEFORE Vylad rescues her and brings her to Scaleswind#so. fuck me i guess LMAO#that is to say you’ll be getting a new scene in chapter one where Garroth and Zenix meet the new baby#when I’m done fixing the chapters#wish me luckkkkk (I want to tear my hair out)
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boy in silly sitting positions compilation
#cats#I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol#I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh#I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day#so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the#writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird#to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in#it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something#''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way#you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj#Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up#with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just#stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house#in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty#that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn#There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not#even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy#birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public#ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take#anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some#things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like#2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were#playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my#evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas
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do you write fic on ao3?
unfortunately for everyone involved i do!
#ask#and if youre wondering about my handle i write on anon so its doesnt particularly matter (shrugs)#and also i think its pretty easy to figure out which fics ive written because i want to makeout mad sloppy style with an em dash#anyways (waves offhandely) it doesnt really matter much because i have like posted an ss on here before so you know#its not like im trying to hide it like eh#but also because of my disposition that would put a tranced rabbit to shame i dont exactly yell it from the hilltops either#the moral of the story is if you ask me what im working on ill yap about it maybe like post an excerpt#and months later youll find something posted on anon and youll be like oh! so they finally posted it!#so to spare you all (lies on my tummy like we're at a sleepover and giggles) you wanna hear what im working on#haha of course you do youre a prisoner in my yap box#and i want an excuse to talk about it hidden in the tags so people skim over it and not read it <3#SO the earliest wip is from like early october about a magical realism au because i rewatched lwa as i usually do and well theres this one#ep about a magical animal if you will... and you can kinda guess what it is from that lol its sashaforsyekky#because the dreaded @/tungpin infected me with the brainworms about this trio specifically#and it really is ekky going 🥺 at whatever sashaforsy have (persumably) got going on woe is him its at 5k rn but uh ive stalled progress#because puppyekky has consumed my every thought which leads me to my second wip that ive been labouring over since the start of october#that also just broke 5k and not even remotely done lol whoops but its puppy ekky in a team environment with a heavy emphasis on the euros#rn there are scenes scrabbled out with sasha (multiple) mikksy luosty lundy and forsy. i know i have an idea for bobby.#and really lets see where the muse takes us i have vague ideas that are mmmhmm but we'll see when we get there!#the third one isnt the most likely to get finished but uh it is sashamaffhew global series stuff because it stemmed from#“it really is funny that sasha is treating the finland trip like he knocked up a girl#and is trying to make her meet his parents so it doesnt feel like a shotgun wedding when he you know marries her to take responsibility“#and i just think a maffhew pov with that thought in mind because of the whole touchy at e11even thing is funny to me like think mundane#slice of life oh i feel like im being wined and dined i hope i dont fuck it up jfc i think im fucking it up oh god this feels romantic#anyways it feels remotely ooc to me and it really was more of like a writing break from the wips stated above so (shrugs)#might not see the light of day but its 2k as of now so i do feel its a shame if i dont /try/ to finish it you know? its just low priority#anyways thats my writing check in and i am a prisoner to my own mind i will go insane haha these wont be published anytime soon#because i am slow and get distracted soooo easily so you know <3
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okay alright alrght alright
#guys im really tired. we're so tired. we really gotta sleep soon.#We can't. We have emails to send. We. We have to call the help desk. And a zoom call.#you dont sound enthusiastic about it#I'm. Not but it has to be done.#hate to burst your bubblle but we're absolutely not doing so hot. as in weve nearly fallen asleep threetimes whiile typing this ok thats 4.#the body is damn nearcollapsing. i think youre kicking up the fear rsponse. jesus thats 5.#but they're not going to respond if we wake up at midnight. please wake up we have to we have to. deadsprint. Deadsprint.#haugghhHHH OKAY YEAH YUP I GOT IT. WAKE UP!! AS MUCH AS I WANNA GET THE HELL OUTTA DODGE I GUESS WE GOTTA DO THIS!!#AWAKE! AWAKE!!!! [BANGS MY STUPID POTS AND PANS TOGETHER]#Okay. Thank you. Maestro?#Mmn alright. 1) Send a new email. We didn't contact the correct person and we have to compose a new one.#Technically not necessary if we 2) schedule a advisory session or join the help zoom room. But we need the registration code.#3) Phone call. Contact the IT department so we can get a school ID because as it stands we are still not even allowed in the school.#optional 4) Work on the project and 5) Try to maintain our leaderboard position in our rhythm game.#No time to be tired. No time to be scared. I know I know. But this has to be done or it'll only get worse. I'll do it I'll take care of it.#But I need you all to cooperate with me please.#🌐#Maestro please do the rest later.#[three of swords]
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Sunday doodles
#you ever just *puts feet on the wall*#or sit upside down off the side of your bed#i saw a post earlier this week I've been trying to find about fearing god#i read it but didn't have time to share my thoughts and i forgot to save it to my drafts so i lost it#anyway they talked about fearing god in service today#the overlap of related events like this scares me all the time#like... i know this stuff just happens and they had this sermon planned for months and it's coincidental#''but what if god is actually real and this is him trying to talk to me? what if he's trying to move me back on track?''#that's something i can't help but think#i'm starting to think I'll never know what is real and whether there's a god and if i really am setting myself up to burn in hell#i have to make a choice whether to leave my friends and hide who I am and go back to the church#or be myself and enjoy my time alive knowing what could be waiting for me when I go#I know that sounds extremely dramatic but it's something I think about a lot#it's one thing for someone to have never gotten to known God#but some say that the one unforgivable sin - the only thing that can keep you out of heaven forever...#...is knowing god and accepting him in your heart but then turning your back on him#I've done those rituals; been baptized and taken communion and said the famous prayer#if that unforgivable sin is true then I guess i've already made my choice; there really is no going back for me haha#damn right that god is scary lol#not tagging the game because I monolouged too much lmao#doodles#sunday doodles#depressing sunday doodle posts have arrived once again#dw im chilling today just lost in thought#was able to put in pto so i get the day to reflect on the very important things 21 year olds think about#things like ''what could've been'' and ''how do i want to draw my next fluffy boy''
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