#I have an androgynous face sure but on girl days it’s too masculine and on boy days it’s too feminine

[almonddirge]

MXTX, whether intentionally or not, wrote a genderfluid character so beautifully it made me come out.

I haven’t read any of her interviews so if she ever clarifies how she sees Shi Qingxuan’s gender, I don’t know. Some other things to be aware of are that I’m uncertain how genderfluidity is viewed in China, or how MCTX herself sees it, and everything from her interviews to her works itself is delivered secondhand because it’s translated. That out of the way…

I came out as genderfluid before trans. It felt right for a while, but eventually I just saw myself as a trans man. Sexualities and genders change, so I figured that was my way of slowly figuring out I was, indeed, a man.

It was fine for a few years. Then, around college, I started feeling odd. I had previously had massive dysphoria and hated being seen as a girl but suddenly, I was okay being misgendered if it was unsafe. I told myself it was just so I didn’t put myself to the wrong person.

But things persisted. I’d see girls in cute outfits and wish I looked more like them. I became more and more okay with she/her pronouns, and dressed more femininely again, and my dysphoria all but vanished. I was okay being referred to as male, but it wasn’t quite right. I added they/them to my pronoun list and for a time used some neopronouns as well.

Over the next few years I kept occasionally wishing I was more feminine. It bothered me. Was I going to detransition? There’s nothing wrong with people doing that, it’s just that I had fought so hard to be seen as a man that I’d hate to backtrack. But it wasn’t all the time, so I just told myself I was an effeminate man.

Then, I started TGCF. It was entirely for Hualian, but a certain other character caught my eye. Shi Qingxuan is a very fun character, and I loved their dynamic with the more aloof Ming Yi. But there was something else.

Shi Qingxuan can transform themself. I found myself thinking how pretty they looked in each form, and that feeling inside me kept stirring. Part of me wished I could shapeshift like that. I know people have their own thoughts about genderfluid character who can shapeshift considering that’s impossible for real genderfluid character, but I like it.

I kept wishing I could be that pretty, but I didn’t realize exactly why. I told myself trans men can still want to look like women sometimes. That’s true, but not in my case.

Eventually I stumbled across this genderfluid person who made videos about masc and femme makeup that made them look like two different people. I couldn’t help but feel envious. When I showed my mother out of excitement, she was like, “…okay?”

I realized most people don’t want to be able to change like that. A lot of people don’t find the idea cool. But I wanted that. I thought it was cool. I’d watch that person do their makeup, and I’d read Shi Qingxuan’s pronouns switching halfway through sentences, and finally the egg cracked.

I’m genderfluid. Sometimes I feel one way or another for days. Sometimes listening to a song makes me feel more like a man or a woman. All sorts of things trigger changes in my gender identity. But if it weren’t for Shi Qingxuan, and that makeup artist, I think it would’ve taken much longer to realize.

[amartianonmars]

I was really enamored with all the fem Dethklok designs I saw around but I myself have a very specific vision for each girl, all described under the cut.

Natalie 'Nat' Explosion: She's taller than the average woman at 5'11 and has maintained a strong build from high school field hockey (most high schools I know don't really do women's football). She doesn't really go too heavy on the makeup besides stage makeup besides her signature black lipstick (which is just an overused eyeliner pencil) for that 'demon gurgling blood' look

Pickles the Drummer: She left her house after her mother didn't accept her transition into womanhood and joined an all female glam metal band, and while she has left that behind she can't help to do her makeup like the good ol' days. Usually its 3 days old and just cleaned up with a fresh coat of lipstick, her black nail polish reapplied usually when Nat does hers. She's pretty tall at 5'8" but still only the third tallest in the group. Her womb tattoo is a play on Snakes N Barrel's (there's a 'snake' in my 'barrel' so to speak) and she wears low rise jeans and shirts she cut herself to show it off. While the estrogen has kept the 'male pattern baldness' gene at bay, she still a white woman with dreads so she is still balding .

Winona 'Winny' Murderface: She's the shortest female member at 5'5", and she has the Napoleon complex to match. She rarely showers and shaves (the hair keeps coming up in weird patches) and has five identical outfits she cycles through. She never wore makeup growing up as an ugly duckling, every attempt shut down by bullying classmates and a conservative grandpa who claimed she looked like an 'ugly harlot' so Murderface usually goes bare face. Though every once in a while, Pickles and Seeveya will find a missing tube of lipstick in her bathroom that she claims to have 'never seen before'. Despite her 'masculine' interests and pick me behavior, she has bad luck with men, though her interests don't really seem fixated on them (she's gay AND homophobic)

Seeveya Skwisgaard: It's not actually her name (Svea, meaning literally 'from Sweden' according to Google), she pronounced it when introducing herself and everyone made assumptions on how it was spelled until it was bastardized to hell and back and she's too deep into fame to change it by the time she made it to Dethklok. The tallest member over Nat, she stands at 6'0" and is essentially built like a Swedish supermodel with the ego to boot. While she likes to keep her hair short and her appearance androgynous, she is extremely self conscious of being perceived as masculine due to her strong facial features and her small chest. Her makeup style is specially curated over years of trial and error, and she wakes up extra early despite her drug and booze fueled partying to make sure she's still the most beautiful woman in the room.

Toki Wartooth: Toki is the second shortest member of Dethklok at 5' 7", though the way she carries herself makes her seem much shorter. She's not the makeup type and lacks the patience for nail polish, though her natural beauty gives her no need for it. Despite this she does play dress up with Seeveya's (very expensive) products from time to time (including secret makeover sessions with Winny) and does love fun accessories, especially if she makes them herself. Despite her cute interests and fun demeanor, her build is strong from years of working in building in her old country. Her being used to hard labor means that when she's pent up she's usually at the gym for a few hours to relieve stress. Otherwise she's building planes, making bracelets for her band sisters, or working on her model planes.

Charlotte 'Charles' Offdensen: She's 5'6" (5' 8" with the heels) and is usually seen with a power suit and business ready makeup no matter the time or hour, her bun as tight and high strung as she is. Her strong energy and confident voice makes her an opponent as a business woman, though her glasses seem to be missing, well, the glass? Her plain-Jane appearance overlook her as the threat she truly is on the battlefield.

[josouhenshin]

day 1, part 1

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Okay, as long as I’m dealing with a setback I might as well spin this into an opportunity to take some more detailed notes. Once more from the top:

Shinobu hazuki and his friend mizuki tachibana are moving in together ahead of their first college term. Their apartment is pretty small, but with just the two of them it should be fine, right?

While toiling away unpacking everything, shinobu comments that it’s kinda like their own private castle, and mizuki responds with a joke along the lines of, well, if this is a castle, then I guess that makes you the princess right? 

Shinobu has a funny gender moment and freaks out a bit, and mizuki doubles down. Well of course, he says, shinobu’s the cutesy one so it’s obvious. 

After some further complaining they get back to work unpacking. Shinobu comments that mizuki brought a mountain of boxes marked as clothes. Welp, no time like the present! Shinobu starts opening them up and a look of panic crosses mizuki’s face. 

"Whu- ho- hold on a second, shinobu!"

But it’s too late. The scent of women’s perfume emanates from the open box. Inside there’s a bunch of clothes.

“Those are for women, right..?” Shinobu wonders. He’s very confused about why his number one bestie would have a box of things like skirts and bras. 

“They’re for you,” mizuki explains. 

Shinobu freaks out. A mechanical thing to mention that really isn’t going to come through via text is that there’s a heart rate monitor for shinobu in the corner of the ui, and it speeds up or slows down based on various things. When it passes 100 bpm there’s a heartbeat sound effect that plays, and speeds up if it goes higher. This is one such time.

Mizuki continues. “Obviously you were always the cuter one.”

There’s an exchange that I believe is something like mizuki saying “haven’t we always been close enough that we could bathe together?” and shinobu saying “well that’s just something men do!!!” my impression is that overseas, communal bathing is generally more of a familial thing that we might see it as in the states. But I think the implication is that mizuki is implying something else. 

“Haha, just kidding! Your face got so red!” Mizuki says. “They’re actually mine.”

Shinobu replies, “Well yeah I know they’re yours! I’m asking why the hell you have them! Do you think I’m stupid?” despite lashing out, he seems to be calming down. The heartbeat fades away.

Shinobu continues demanding to know what’s going on and mizuki keeps repeating that they’re his clothes and getting increasingly insulting about it.

“But surely you don’t actually wear them,” Shinobu wonders.

“I do,” Mizuki says.

“Crossdressing is... a hobby of mine.”

The heartbeat thing goes fucking ballistic.

“Don’t tell my mom and everyone, okay?”

Shinobu continues demanding explanations and mizuki keeps repeating himself. He can’t believe it. Sure, ever since they were little mizuki’s particular androgynous charm was always popular with the girls, but even if he was pretty, he’s an all-around great athlete, and his personality is manly and passionate. And he always uses the most masculine first person pronoun “ore!”

“It’s- it’s surprising,” shinobu stammers.

“Yeah I guess it would be.”

Shinobu asks why he does it. Mizuki doesn’t really have an answer, but after further pressing settles on “well, it’s fun. turning into another self, or something like that.” he also suggests shinobu should try too!

Shinobu goes quiet for a while, but eventually agrees. And there begins the first day of shinobu’s adventures in the world of crossdressing. 

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[peaches2217]

2, 21, and 25? 🫶

Yay! Thank you! (In regards to this prompt)

2) Describe your pronouns. What are they, and why?

She/Her and He/Him! I'm bigender, in my case being male and female. (I got called "Cis+" as an insult in an NB group once, but honestly that's not a bad way to look at it - both of my genders are binary, but they coexist rather than being mutually exclusive opposites.) I don't really prefer one pronoun set to the other; rather, I prefer to be called by both interchangeably!

To that extent, please, please don't refer to me by they/them pronouns (unless you just forget/don't know my pronouns and do it out of respect, in which case that's totally cool!). Admittedly that was the catalyst for the Cis+ comment (something to the extent of "Lol you claim to be nonbinary but your genders are binary and you're adverse to they/them? Looooool you're literally just an indecisive cis person"), so I've been especially sensitive to that ever since 😅

21) What are your favorite things about being multigender?

I'm gonna be corny here: I just love knowing who I am! I kicked around being bigender in high school, but ultimately decided I was my AGAB with tomboyish tendencies. But throughout adulthood, the signs that it was more were always there: I've always identified more strongly with male characters in media, and as a writer, I find it easier to write from a male POV. I've always love being perceived as male; I have short hair and look fairly androgynous from the back, so at work customers would sometimes get my attention with "Excuse me, sir?" They'd apologize profusely when I turned around to reveal a baby face and a sunflower hairclip, but I'd be on Cloud Nine all day and I could never quite explain why.

At the same time, I never thought I was trans. I've always been perfectly happy being a girl. I spent most of my life shunning my femininity (my formative years were smack-dab in the middle of the Not Like Other Girls trend), but in my early 20s I began really embracing it, letting myself wear makeup and dresses and bright colors, and I've loved it ever since! But I could never shake my ties to masculinity. I couldn't explain it.

Last year I finally got fed up and did some soul-searching with friends; they suggested maybe I was a demigirl or demiboy, but those labels didn't feel right, because I'm not partially either, when I dig down deep. When asked who exactly I am, "I'm a woman" and "I'm a man" both feel right, but suggesting I'm more/less one than the other doesn't. "Bigender" came back up, and I was like "Oh. Maybe 17-year-old Peaches really was onto something."

ALL THAT TO SAY: My favorite part of being multigender is being able to understand and embrace myself to the fullest. I'm not a girl with masculine tendencies and I'm not a guy in touch with his femininity. I'm a man as I am a woman. Discovering that has been life-changing.

25) What's your favorite art/music/writing/etc about being multigender? (Things not explicitly written as such are OK too!)

Not sure if it counts as art, but this symbol:

because it perfectly encapsulates and answers the mystery of my own identity. Not all bigender people are male and female or masculine and feminine; the beauty of the nonbinary is that everyone's experience is so varied! But as someone who's only recently come to realize she can be both at the same time rather than having to choose, that simple, silly little symbol just makes me so happy.

[ritual-misery]

18-10-2023 🎧

yesterday was very up and down 💀 and i knew it was gonna a mess the second i forgot my earphones at home. those shits r my lifeline. riding the bus in silence was torturous

anyways. yesterday something happened that hasn't happened in a while... i got gendered as female. usually, where i am now in my transition, i'd say i get gendered as male 99% of the time. ages vary; usually people think i'm some 13 year old LMFAO but chemically i am 13 so i mean... there u go. but nonetheless they read me as a guy

but yesterday was different. it was after my last class of the day and these girls started talking to me about the material and whatnot. then we went to some public event thing happening outside and as we're sitting there i get called "she" when one of the girls says something abt me to the other one. i thought, maybe i misheard. but then they started talking about the traits they hate in guys... then i was called a baddie... sooooo 😭

honestly i feel nothing about it. maybe a bit awkward cause eventually its gonna come up that im actually a guy. and its gonna be weird. but it kinda made me think. like yeah, i get gendered as male a lot, but honestly im still pretty androgynous. i have no facial hair yet, my face is still kinda round, i wear earrings (non-feminine ones), and i'm short. so someone could easily read me for a girl as much as they read me for a guy. i notice that when i do get misgendered, it's usually by girls. other guys always gender me right. the rare times i'm read as female it's usually by a girl. curious as to why

but nonetheless it happened. and it reminded me that i have a long way to go in my journey. and that i shouldn't get too proud and think that i'm mr. unclockable all of a sudden. i have some time to wait before my face changes dramatically or i grow facial hair (although im trying to get my hands on some minoxidil), but there are more areas where i can masculinize as i wait. like working out and doing different things with my hair. i'm gonna try and style it different because i feel like it makes me look so feminine and it bothers me lmao. it's this overgrown mullet thing, and the process of growing out the sides is making me want to go bald. in my deluded brain i feel that if i finally grow out my hair long it'll actually help me look more male? cause it'll cover my face and make me look a little older (i feel that lots of young boys have short hair while longer hair would indicate maybe an older guy? idk 💀)

it's easy to get discouraged, i think. i found my mind saying, "a cis guy would never have to deal with something like this." but then it occurred to me that i'm not a cis guy. i'm gonna have different experiences in life than one, and i shouldn't use the average cis guy's life as a marker for mine. it'll just leave me unsatisfied and feeling like a failure when i've failed nothing. i gotta focus on myself and what im doing. i'm not cis so my life is not gonna be similar to that of cis people's. and that's not a shitty thing

oh and here's my second problem. i ran out of testosterone. i'm with this specialized doctor right now and he's very hard to reach out too. long story short, the next time i see him is in november... i ran out of T last week. today's my shot day, actually. so i'm concerned. i know that nothing monumental will happen to me over 3 or so weeks, but the only thing i really don't want to happen is my period returning. which it surely will. so now i have to do a final hail mary: at the very beginning of this, i got a prescribed vial that i wasn't able to receive because of a problem with insurance. there's a chance that the vial is still sitting in the pharmacy now. will i probably have to pay? yeah. but i mean.. what choice do i have. i would rather pay and take the T than wait three weeks and have my body go through crazy mood swings and my monthly returning from the shadowy depths. so i'm about to call the pharmacy and see what they say. at least i can try. it's been one year, so the doctor is going to give my prescription to my family doctor to have him deal with it (special doctor only handles patients for one year), but my fam doctor will probably ask me to give it to someone else. so i should start researching some endos in the area

alas. weird life, weird events. today i got no classes and i'm gonna try and get stuff done. there's minimal things i need to do for school, so non-academic tasks are getting prioritized. ESPECIALLY my workout. it's been way too long, and i'm trying to get all buff now so when summer hits i'm chilling. plus it's winter coming soon so what else am i supposed to do lmao. also gonna try and buy some stickers to decorate my laptop today. very whimsical and fun ofc

[jojosbizarreblog]

Hey hey hey!! I really like all of his posts, you write very well ^^ I came to asking for Bucci Gang headcanons with a s/o genderfluid, how they would react and treat they and stuff. I don't know if I'm being too vague, but anything can say 👉👈

(Thanks for the kind compliments, Anon! X) )

(Btw, I’ve never written a genderfluid person before, so if you see something incorrect or offensive, please tell me and I will fix it!)

Bucci gang and a genderfluid s/o

Bruno

When first made aware of the fact that you were genderfluid, he asked you if you had any preferred pronouns and how he should address you as in front of strangers.

At the beginning when you two started dating, Bruno was unsure of your gender fluctuations but after a bit, he picked up on the little bits of details.

That allowed him to plan dates and events for when you two would be able to go out.

He calls you a lot of long-winded “affectionate” nicknames.

Along with the common “tesoro”, he likes to call you his ocean. Bruno also has a bunch of weird phrases tucked away somewhere.

“You are like the brine to my pickle” or something idk. This is a man that compared floppy bones to a condom so...

Will sternly tell off people if they disrespect you and will lead you away from them if they continue.

If dysphoria ever hits you, he’ll be there reassuring you and helping you through it.

He cooks nutritious meals and makes sure you drink plenty of water. Bruno also reminds you to bind/tuck safely and to let him know if something is wrong.

Abbacchio

He doesn’t mind what gender you are, he’s more concerned about WHO you are.

And you’ve got to be a pretty good person to earn his trust and become his partner.

When you two begin to date, it doesn’t take much for Abbacchio to notice the small shifts in your genders, and 9/10 times, he uses the correct pronoun for you. Over time, it becomes like a science to him and missed pronouns became a rarity.

Abbacchio’s there by your side on bad days, offering his silent support like what he would have wanted on his bad days. Weird as this may sound, he knows exactly the right words and things to do to help you keep your mind away from your worries.

Not afraid to defend you if someone talks smack about you. He’s ready to throw hands.

He offers makeup advice if you ever want to appear more masculine, feminine, or androgynous. Dude’s pretty good at it but he'll only ever share his secrets with you.

Fugo

Fugo’s smart, so he’ll know what genderfluid means. He’s openminded and he’ll accept you for who you are, without a doubt.

He does his best to pick up your changes so he does accidentally misgender you.

Much like Abbacchio, Fugo takes no shit from people disrespecting you. He’ll sternly correct them, but if they continue and start to talk bad, he’ll fly into a rage.

If you’re going through some sort of dysphoria, he’ll be here to lend an ear.

Fugo kind of understands what it feels like to be uncomfortable in your own body. He hated himself so strongly after that incident.

But he knows it’s nothing compared to what you go through so he does his best to try to make you feel better and distraction you from the bad thoughts. 

Narancia

Narancia gives you full support and endless enthusiasm from the start.

He’s curious, so of course there are bound to be questions, but he doesn’t want to upset you or seem too intrusive.

It’s a little bit awkward in addressing you at first for fear of disrespecting you, but eventually he gets the hang of it so it’s smooth sailing from there.

Due to his looks, people mistake him as a girl all the time and he doesn’t mind it. But if someone address you wrong he’ll correct them.

If they continue, he’ll break out the knife. Nothing like some cold, hard, steel to make someone change their ways.

You can go shopping with him, but the end results are going to be tight pants, strappy tops, and whatever kilt/skirt situation he has going on (if you’re fine with wearing it).

Will gift you headbands. 

“Here you go (Y/n)! It’ll look nice on you”

Mista

Mista says genderfluid rights. He doesn’t mind what gender you are, as long as you are a good person who doesn’t bring fours into the equation.

The Sex Pistols will ask you questions and Mista will start scolding them if he fears that they’re annoying you.

Please educate them. They mean well.

Clothes shopping with Mista is only good for the cold weather. Have you seen what that man wears?

But he does know places with quality sweaters and beanies. He’ll share his clothes with you too (but you better make sure that they’ve been washed.)

Sometimes when you two are in private, he pulls his (clean) hat over your head.

“Looking good, babe!”

Giorno

Giorno loves you in your entirety. The first thing he does is to let you know that he is by your side unconditionally and that nothing will change that.

Even though he doesn’t know how to display affection towards another person, he tries his best with other things.

Likes to flatter you with various flowers and likes to leave them around the apartment for you.

One time Golden Experience presented you with a bouquet of flowers that matched that of the pride flag.

Can do your hair for you if you want to, aside from his hair, he can do various up-dos and braids.

After he becomes don, nobody dares to disrespect you, for fear of incurring his wrath upon them.

But if someone does end up hurting you, they’ll face his wrath. He’s a kind don, but he will not allow people to disrespect his lover like that.

[psychdelia]

i saw the hc you left inkedplume about non-binary billy and i’m in love with the idea!!! do you have anymore hcs with nb billy? If so, please share!:)

oh my god Yes I Do!!! i’m trying to write a fic based off the hc featuring gender fluid billy that i hope sees the light of day so i’ll try not to be too repetitive BUT

- billy goes by he/they BUT they don’t mind she, esp on days they feel and present a little more fem

- he looks very androgynous and loves to leave people guessing what gender they are. whenever someone asks him “are you a guy or a girl?” billy just says “yes” with a smile

- billys style will go from masculine macho man one day to pretty soft feminine the next. obviously clothing has no gender but imagine them showing up to school in like.. denim and button ups one day to a leather skirt the next

- in this modern au steve is very much himbo jock amidst a sexuality crisis. he’s not super educated on gender expression just yet, is still learning about sexuality with robin. so when he sees billy his brain is just !!!???!!??!!??!! because he doesn’t know how to feel. he knows he’d fuck billy in a skirt but he also Really wants to fuck billy in tight jeans so.

- ok this one stays in my head but the image of like. billy in a tight skirt bending over in a classroom to grab a pencil or something and their ass is on display and all the guys are staring at him with their mouths open and steve gets all protective. stands in front of billy and hides his ASSets from the world, wearing his letterman jacket and nikes as he glares at everyone looking at billy like that

- the first time they fuck billy has to make sure steve knows they’ve got a dick. grabs steve’s face in the middle of making out like “i don’t have a pussy. you know that, right?” and steve is just. too turned on to process what billys saying. kisses his neck when he mumbles “wanna see you. wanna taste you.” and just. drops to his knees. gets billy in his mouth.

- billys mom helps him make their outfits and is the most supportive person in their life. he cried the first time she called them their child/kid instead of son, also cried the first time steve called them their partner instead of boyfriend.

- they drag steve to thrift stores and make him sit in the dressing room as they try on different outfits, huffing when they ask for steve’s opinion and he just calls billy hot and reaches for their butt.

- billys hair is Long and curly and i feel like they’d get blonder and blonder and go platinum at one point. maybe dye a couple streaks random colors

- billy stole their moms makeup growing up and when he was 14 she gave him a small makeup kit that he still uses. they love makeup and will go from soft and subtle to smokey eyes and red lips

thank you for letting me go on about gender fluid/nb billy it’s one of my favorites :’)) pls send me nb billy hcs!!!!

[sohin-ace]

May I request Brunos gang headcannons with a new transgender male member? It doesnt have to be romantic and id rather it not be. Please message me if you have questions. Some details id like to see: He is around the same age as Trish and no longer can live with his parents. He doesnt have much money so he binds his chest with bandages and fabric he can find. He hasn't transitioned at all and his gender isnt obvious. his hair is cut poorly due to cutting it himself. i hope this is okay!

This was hard to do. Trans identity is tricky to write as a non-Trans writer. Hopefully I did you justice!

Non rom.

Bucci gang w/ a Transgender male member HC

Bucciarati

The most understanding of the group.

He's horrified that such a young person has to live by themselves, especially if your gender identity is the reason you have no caretakers.

He makes sure to introduce you properly to the team and makes them understand your situation, so that you feel comfortable around everyone.

You're part of the family now, it doesn't matter what you look like or what you identify as.

Will ask you if it's okay for you to go undercover as female for specific missions, or it's that's too uncomfortable.

If you'd rather not it's okay, Fugo will do.

He comes back one day with a package on one arm.

Turns out it's a custom made binder, all perfectly fitted to your specific body type and size!

So that's why he was so insistent on taking your measurements, without ever explaining why... That sly man.

Still, you couldn't be more grateful. Those things were so expensive.

"As long as you feel comfortable and stay in good health, I'm satisfied, Y/N."

Abbachio

He's the last one to care.

If anything, the thing he hates about you is that offensive hairstyle, are you kidding him?

Boy, girl, mischief, he doesn't care what your gender is or what's in your pants, he just doesn't want you to disrespect his eyes with such a horrendous haircut.

Like, seriously, who hurt you?

Takes you apart and forces your ass on a chair to actually give you a proper cut/shave.

Bucciarati is here too, to give advice on what looks good and works for your face shape and hair texture.

Abbachio has a fairly feminine appearance himself and hardly ever follows gender norms, so he's not fazed by your own neutral or 'confusing' physique.

Just tell him your pronouns already, or else he'll call you 'Brat' out of doubt, that's pretty gender neutral.

Would appreciate it if you trusted him enough to confess about your dysphoria, as he is victim of it as well.

Yes, even a Cis-man can feel dysphoric from time to time. Please pull each other up.

Giorno

As expected of him, he is very respectful.

The very first time he mistook you for a girl, but immediately apologized for his mistake and never got it wrong again.

In fact, he was so kind and polite about it, it's impossible to stay mad at him.

Afterwards he asks a lot of questions to be sure to know the boundaries you set, what is okay and not okay to talk about or do.

Will help you style your hair in the prettiest way and adds a lot of flowers on top of it.

He is a very feminine boy himself and will make you feel handsome and confident about your more feminine traits, just the way you deserve to be treated.

If he can rock the long hair, pink clothes, cute flowers and ladybugs ornaments and still look handsome as hell, then you can perfectly rock whatever physical traits you have. He believes in you.

Uses Gold Experience on you when you're on your periods so that it last shorter.

Helps you bind your chest until you can get a proper binder, and makes sure to be very gentle with you.

Has stolen Testosterone for you, and will do it again.

Mista

The most oblivious to your gender at first.

He can't tell if you're a boy or a girl and asks you a bunch of dumb questions without really thinking of the behinds of it.

If you get offended he'll just tell you he's trying to understand and is so confused.

It takes time and a lot of explaining, but he eventually gets it and, even though he still has a lot of questions, he decides to shut up.

Hey, you were pretty nice and funny and your Stand powers were dope, so at the end of the day, who cares?

He may be a bit of a dummy, but Mista is kind. He teaches you to shave in case you grow facial hair in the future.

He'll tell you all those grown up advices about how 'You start off with small peachfuzzes and before you know it, you got a full grown ass beard'.

Goes full Big Brother™ on you.

In fact, he barely calls your name at all, only calls you 'Bro', 'Fratellino', 'Mini me', 'Bambino', 'Big guy', or anything of the caliber.

Makes you workout with him to get those big ass guns and broad shoulders (or just... Your desired body type).

Narancia

Oh god, you don't have to fret about a thing.

He's just like you and gets misgendered All. The. Goddamn. Time.

His appearance is effortlessly androgynous and he sounds fairly prepubescent as well, so you're in the same boat here.

He doesn't really care and would love it for you to not care as well. He's used to it anyways.

It's not like your gender identity is gonna stop him from dragging you into his shenanigans and make you bust the sickest moves he knows.

You two are out together and get cat called by some obnoxious dudes on the streets.

You have to stop him from blasting them with Aerosmith because, as much as he's used to being called a 'She',

He WON'T stand other people misgendering you.

"HEY! SHUT THE FUCK UP! I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU! Y/N, tell him to go suck your dick! Oh- you don't have one yet? Huh... Well uh... SUCK MY DICK, ASSHOLE! Sorry about that Y/N."

Tells you you're lucky you don't have balls because those hurt really bad sometimes.

Fugo

Is too shy to ask too specific questions about your body or sexuality, but would love to know everything about it.

Especially the more psychologic aspect of your gender identity. How it affects your mental state, how you feel, what made you realize you were trans etc.

He may seem insensitive about it, but he's really not. He's just interested and takes it with a very scholar approach.

He pretends he really doesn't care at all, but he does a lot of research and harasses Bucciarati with questions about you.

You ask him to help you bind your chest one day and he becomes a blushy mess.

He'll help you anyway though, trying to be as neutral as possible out of respect for you.

He doesn't want to get flustered and let you imagine that he sees you as 'a girl', so he plays it cool.

It's... It's just a chest right? No big deal...

He slipped up one day and almost called the wrong pronouns and when he does, he just screams. Loud.

"Let's go ask Y/N then, where is sh-hhhhhhiiiaaaaaaAAAAAAAAARRGGHHHHH!!!!!"

He doesn't know how to come back from these mistakes and he's so embarassed.

Trish

You two have so much in common, surprisingly.

You're both young teens and your parents have left you down. You could only lift each other up.

She immediately knows you're a boy and gets so confused when people misgender you.

I mean... You look a bit feminine, yes, but there were plenty of men like this. And more so than you'd ever imagine. Especially at only 15.

Also, you introduced yourself as 'Y/N', that's pretty much masculine, or at the very least, gender neutral.

"Pfft, don't listen to them, Y/N. They're so darn stupid."

Helps you voice train, e-v-e-r-y-d-a-y.

She knows a lot of vocal warm ups and exercises to not strain your vocal chords and helps you get that perfect deep voice you try to achieve.

It's just like singing in a way, right? She helps you find your vocal range to expand it and lower it to your prefered pitch.

She's so proud of you when you manage to finally use a much deeper and manly voice!

She has very short hair herself, and she'll defintely help you style yours properly and take you to her personal hairdresser (a very kind femboy who's super funny and who's gonna love you to bits)

[adhdeancas]

Hey for prompts, Sam was watching Queer eye and Dean decided to join him for shits but it's the episode where they help a young trans man find himself and Dean has a small breakdown. (Specifically, the not-having-to-be-masc-100%-all-the-time and still be trans, and to still be able to play with clothes and styles)

i went back and watched part of this ep to remind me, that’s why it took me a sec. also took me a sec bc it’s been a WEEK for this trans man and even thinking about a point in which I am read enough as a guy to think about wearing feminine things as a guy gives me... feelings. ANYWAY enough about me, let’s read this

love you friend, hope you like it

Sam watches Queer Eye a while ago, when he was in a slump, and now he saves the episodes for bad days like Dean hoards brownie mixes in the pantry for when he feels really shitty. Dean’s walking past the living room with a beer when he hears somebody say “top surgery” and because he’s a nosy motherfucker, he peeks in. Sure enough, footage of some dude’s surgery is on the screen and Tan France is talking about how he doesn’t know anything about trans people.

Dean snorts and comes in, slumping down onto his chair. Sam looks up at him with a start. “Hate that. Learn your fucking history, dickhead.”

“Don’t call Tan a dickhead.”

“Sh, you’re just protective because you like swiss-tying your shirts or whatever.”

“French tuck.” Sam bitched, well aware Dean was being a jerk on purpose. “Besides, he needs to say it on the show, to learn and all that.”

Dean shrugs and steals a chip from Sam. They’re plantain chips, but they’re salty, so they’re good enough. He grins at the trans guy’s cat pee couch, “Cas would love that.” Sam is excited to learn how to make sushi via Antoni. They both go quiet when Skyler talks to Bobby about how his family didn’t accept him, and Dean draws his knees up to his chest. Unbidden, he knows they’re both thinking about all the shitty things their dad, their family, their hunter friends, random acquaintances have said to them throughout the years, whether knowing it was bad or not. Somehow those comments are never really forgotten. 

On the screen, the same thing is echoed: 

“I was always a really angry kid… because every day of my life, I wore a mask. So when you’re hearing constantly from the people that mean the most to you that what you are is awful…”

“You’re awful.”

“Yeah. And unacceptable. It really does a number on you.”

“Yeah.”

“So I was just pissed all the time.”

Sam clears their throat. 

The episode continues.

Skyler talks about being misgendered during surgery. “Yeah, me too man. You try getting top surgery 20 years ago.” Dean scoffs at the screen. Sam grins at him, like he always does when he talks to the TV. He always teases him that it’s an old man thing to do. 

Tan and Skyler talk about his style. It’s androgynous. “Dean, why don’t you ever wear stuff like that?”

Dean glares at him, looking from the flashy clothes to his brother. “I’m a dude.”

“So is Skyler.”

“Yeah but I’m a guy like…” he tries to think of how to make Sam understand. “I’m a guy like Bobby.” he’d almost said John, but changed last minute. He didn’t want to open that can of worms. He hadn’t worn his dad’s coat in years. 

“I thought you said you liked skirts.”

Dean stares resolutely at the screen, hoping Sam will get the hint. He does, sighing, and returns to the episode. There is an awesome moment where Skyler gets fitted for a suit, and Dean can feel the jealousy coursing through his veins. The baggy Fed suits hanging in his closet come to mind.

Skyler dresses in a sequined blazer and meets Todrick, his gender-bending gay idol, and they share a tearfilled conversation that Sam himself sniffs at. 

“You were so important to my transition, and recognizing that I am feminine and I am masculine, and that gets put into this perfect little ball that is me. But it took me a long time to be okay with that feminine side and seeing another queer man like you that owned all of it and just was so fabulous...”

Dean’s heart is clenching in his chest, and he digs his fingernails into his knees. His mind is stuck on the pair of satin panties he has in his underwear drawer, the pair he’s too afraid to ever wear just in case he got in a massive car accident and they had to cut open his pants or he had to do some emergency plumbing and bend down under the sink. Just in case anyone saw and thought... When the next episode starts, Dean reaches over to grab the remote and pause the TV. Sam looks at him expectantly. “Everyone looks hot in fishnets. Right?”

Sam laughs, but quiets quickly at the serious look on Dean’s face. “Yeah, sure. Everybody looks good in fishnets, I guess. Completely gender inclusive product.”

Dean rolls his eyes. “I just don’t-” he stops and works his jaw. Sam seems to get it. They’re used to choosing more conservative choices when he goes out, but when he chooses feminine ones, he relishes in the gender confusion he gives people. Dean just can’t stop thinking about how tiny his waist is or how big his hips are. How much of him shows. The idea that someone might confuse him for a girl. Again. 

“Yeah. I know.” Sam says softly. 

Dean nods. Nothing to do about it. “Guess I just have to quit being such a pussy, don’t I. Let people think what they think.”

“Other people perceiving you as a man doesn’t make you a man, Dean. Same way it doesn’t make me one.” Sam nudges his leg with his socked foot, and Dean reluctantly looks him in the eyes. “You’re a man. Even if you wear a skirt. Or fishnets.”

Dean clears his throat and stands up. “Yeah, I know.”

“Hey, I’m pretty sure Cas thinks fishnets are hot too.”

“Fuck you.” Dean bursts out laughing and stands up. “Alright… maybe.”

He can still hear Sam laughing as he continues down the hallway.

[fizziefizzco]

A to Z of LynnCove: E is for Eternity

A quick look at a bright future 

This was supposed to be posted yesterday but I had a bit of a panic attack so that did not happen :] Sorry about that!! Here’s a long one to make up for it <3 

-------------------------------------------------

Even though it was his day off, Cove still woke up to his alarm in the morning. He wasn’t a natural morning person, and needed the extra push in order to wake up most mornings. The sun filtered in through the semi-opaque curtains of his bedroom, and the 25 year old man groaned softly as he moved to turn his alarm off and grab his glasses. Just as soon as he slipped them on his face, did the sliding barn door to the bedroom open to an eager little Chesapeake Bay Retriever that bounded over to him and licked at the free hand that laid off the side of the bed. 

“Well good morning to you too, Fleche.” Cove hummed and petted the not-quite puppy , but not quite an adult dog, her coat was soft yet a little wet, as Fleche was a very messy eater.  At the little girl’s insistence, Cove swung his legs over the edge of the bed and stood up, stretching in the light of the summer sun after he opened the curtains. Just as he stood up, the smell of breakfast cooking reached Cove’s nose. “Ah. So this is what you were sent here to do. Already had your breakfast, little girl?” Fleche pushed against Cove’s legs, not even looking up at him to answer his question. 

The house he lived in at age 25 was nothing short of beautiful. A small beach house right close to the water, it was like something out of a dream when he found it. Gorgeous wood floors, an overall hawaiian feeling to it (for being in southern california) and the best view ever…. Well, the beach was good too. 

[Rest Under the Cut]

His view, though, came in the form of a person’s back being turned to him as they stood in the kitchen, cooking breakfast. Tall and angular, the years had been very kind to them, and their hair was long and in its natural color, a warm brown. There was a tattoo on their left calf of a crab surrounded by poppies, one that matched his own of a dolphin that resided on his lower back. They didn’t hear him coming, but Cove wasn’t one for pulling pranks, that thankfully, was his spouse’s forte. Cove walked up behind them, gently wrapping large arms around their waist and nuzzling his face in their hair. 

“Good Morning sleepyhead.” They spoke, not turning their head to look over at him. 

“ Mornin’ Lynn.” Cove returned, pressing a kiss to his spouse’s cheek. 

Lynn and Cove had changed a lot over the years in terms of likes and appearances. Lynn, who had once been asked to model thanks to their beautiful and femmine figure, was now a lot more androgynous after some soul searching, and a wonderful support network. Cove fit the more masculine look, and looked a lot more like his father, but that same look betrayed his soft and shy personality. 

“What are you making?” Cove asked after Lynn turned to look back at him and to get a kiss. Lynn smiled warmly as they turned back to the pan, and what was cooking inside it. 

“Pancakes. I made some separate ones for me, these are your pancakes.” Cove had only been half-listening after they mentioned that they made pancakes, the hungry thoughts of food filling his mind as he let go of his spouse. 

“I’ll set the table. What do you want to drink?” Cove asked, rubbing his eyes with a wide yawn. Lynn shrugged as they flipped one of the pancakes. 

“Orange juice sounds good.” Lynn said nonchalantly, to which Cove nodded and grabbed the bottle from their fridge, which was decorated with many tourist magnets as well as photos, ads, and sticky notes. 

Sooner, breakfast was finished cooking. Lynn served Cove’s plate first, and then their own at their small nook that served as their dining table. Fleche had run off to nap in a sunny spot on the couch, their living area being an open floor plan. The two of them weren’t perfect, as many people seemed to still believe, but they worked well and communicated with each other - which led to such a strong relationship. They had their own things that they did, and own friends, but they still did a lot together as a couple - one thing they loved doing, even now, was going for a surf on their days off. Cove wanted to ask Lynn if they were up to the idea. 

“Are you up for surfing today, husband?” Lynn asked, as though they’d read Cove’s mind. A mischievous smile danced on their lips, and Cove wasn’t sure if they could...or if they were just messing with him, but he felt like they knew. 

“Yes.”He squeaked out, a blush appearing on his features. 

The topic soon, even though it was their day off, developed into talking about work. At age 25, Cove was a chef and organizer for a local charity kitchen. It wasn’t a glamorous job, certainly, but it was one that he enjoyed doing. People loved him, and he was able to talk easier with the vulnerable people he taught to cook. Lynn’s hard work their entire life paid off, and they were a zookeeper, taking care of marine animals at the zoo’s aquarium. Their work and his helped pay for their gorgeous house, and dog.. And the nice set of savings for when they would try for children. 

The trip to the beach was as mundane as it always was, but for the two of them - every moment was magical as they ran around the water near their home. Fleche loved to play fetch with them when they went out on their surfboards, she could swim really far and would bring back the frisbee they threw each time. Fleche was also a very good girl as well, when they set her back on land and went at it surfing; the waters near their home were a prime spot for waves but were unknown except for by the locals. There was a kid that always came by to watch them, and the two of them often joked how much it was like they were already parents. 

After coming home from the beach and taking a shower, the couple split off and would do their own things on their day off. For Cove it consisted of testing a new muffin recipe that he wanted to surprise Lynn with, as well as getting in a few chapters of his new book, and watering the plants they were growing on their porch. For Lynn, their free time consisted of watching a new soccer match, a few crosswords during lulls in the game, working more on a painting they were doing, and unfortunately answering emails as the newest intern was a complete klutz but Lynn was very very patient. 

That night was time though for the two of them to get dressed up for a joint-family dinner. The Holdens and The Chos started it after Lynn went off for college and Cove moved out, though the individual families would still have separate dinners from time to time. It was much better with everyone though. Kyra still lived in Nevada, working ever hard on her writing - she had a boyfriend recently though, last time Cove and Lynn saw her. As for Mr. Holden, he’d gotten married the last summer, to a lovely woman named Aya who owned a flower shop, but Cove was still not sure about her. Mom and Ma were doing really well for themselves, taking it easy but still being the life of their country club. As for Lizzie… well, as much as Lynn’s older sister loved to joke about her lil sibling doing all the big milestones before her, there was one thing that she didn’t count on. Lizzie had a kid, and with her oldest friend no less. Shiloh and Lizzie had met again after that awkward encounter, and he’d apologized to her, with real feelings. They weren’t married yet or anything but things were going well for them, and they’d had a kid. Bertie, who was three. Lynn loved the little guy, and even though Cove and Shiloh were still awkward around each other as ever - the Holden-Cho family was good. 

“Do you have the thing you told Ma you’d bring?” Lynn waved their hand over to Cove who laughed as he took a container out of the fridge. 

“Of course. I made sure to tell Claude that she liked it so much when she came to visit. And yes, he promised to stop hitting on her.” He responded to his spouse’s question, watching as they slid earrings in while grabbing their keys. Lynn stopped short before doing anything else , feeling their husband’s eyes on their back the entire time. 

“Can I help you, Mr. Holden?” Lynn’s face split into a sly, seductive smirk. Cove bit his lip as he went to grab his coat from the counter barstool. 

“Why no, Mx.Holden, I was just admiring my ravishing spouse. You never cease to amaze me.” He mumbled as he closed the distance to them, Lynn using their hands to move his to their waist. 

“And you never cease to be the cheesiest man alive. You’ve got to stop hanging out with those boys.” Lynn’s words were drawn from their lips as Cove pressed a kiss to them. No makeup, but lip balm this night.  Cove pressed another kiss, and then another to his spouse’s lips, before pressing their foreheads together with a happy, contented sigh. 

“Normally I love being home with our families, but..” 

“But..?”

“But I’d rather much take you back to our bedroom and show you how much I appreciate you.” 

Lynn laughed at that and pulled away, heading to the shoe rack and front door. 

“Come on handsome. I’ll let you show me later tonight.” Lynn slid some cute flats on, their slender fingers brushing against the anklet around their … well, ankle. Before heading for the door, Lynn shot a look back at their blushing husband, whose hands were empty. 

“Don’t forget the food.”

[shmuzzieheart]

This is just going to be me rambling about weird gender confusion don’t mind me~

I always liked unisex or guys’ t-shirts, and I know that in of itself doesn’t say too much about a person’s gender. Guys’ shirts are usually bigger and have cool stuff on them, so I just like wearing them. They’re not super clingy and make up a bulk of the shirts I own.

Now, I’m noticing I like going to the guys’ section of clothing store websites. That’s not some huge tipoff for gender, either. But, I kind of feel like I’d enjoy dressing more masculine than feminine. I don’t like skirts and I haven’t worn dresses in awhile, and I’d like to keep it that way. When I try to look up styles for like dark academia (I like that sort of look, don’t have enough money to really get into it of course), the bulk of people wearing it are women with like skirts or more feminine looks, which is fine, but I’m not really into that. 

Clothes have no gender, of course, so wanting to style myself in more “masculine” clothing doesn’t automatically mean I want to be a guy, but thinking about it sort of segues me into thinking about other stuff I’ve noticed.

Tik tok is a big reason I’m kind of feeling confused because of the content there. This one video was talking about phrases trans people may relate to, and the phrase “I want to be feminine like how a guy can be feminine” stuck out to me. I thought of the bookish, awkward “nerd” characters I like. I usually get attached to the “smart” character that isn’t as masculine as the others, or the chaotic characters or grumpier characters who also might not fit in with typical, traditional masculinity. They were always my favorite. I’m always drawn to them. There’s also those “pictures/things that give me gender envy that may confuse cis people” videos that I don’t think I’m that confused by. I don’t know exactly how to articulate it, but I think I understand those videos. The last thing from tik tok that kind of go with this post is me always liking videos of afab nonbinary people or transmascs and their style. There are so many cool people on tik tok who have these amazing outfits and sort of vibe to them that I’d love to be able to replicate if I had the confidence. All of them are nonbinary or transmasc, though, which is why it stuck out to me so much.

Another thing is that idea that, when you ship two characters together, one is usually the person you’d like to be with, and the other is your idea of you (I hope I said that right). I don’t think that’s the same for everyone, but I do notice my enjoyment of ships where it’s a strong, confident woman with a more anxious, bookish nerd character. I’ve never really found myself personally attracted to the latter, but I haven’t explored the idea of being attracted to the former, either. And with my enjoyment of nerdy/chaotic/grumpy/etc. male characters who lack traditional masculinity, that also made me wonder about my gender.

I didn’t really think of this all that much, just in passing and shrugging it off, saying “well I’m fine being a woman, no dysphoria here and if there is any discomfort with my womanhood it’s from the issues women face in life and in the media or whatever.” This little snowball rolling down the hill and building up didn’t really start until after reading “The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” actually. I really related to the idea of repressing parts of yourself and always acting a certain way for the approval of others (aka John Mulaney’s “I need everyone all the time to like me so much” bit), so I understood Dr. Jekyll’s struggle. That whole deal got me back into gothic horror and that whole aesthetic, which led to me looking for masculine dark academia looks, which of course resulted in this whole ramble of...whatever.

Then I thought about my name and pronouns. I don’t remember what brought it up, but one day I was thinking of the name “Jekyll” as a first name. I thought, ‘well that’s a nice first name, it’s a bit masculine but it’s also kind of androgynous, isn’t it? It’d be a nice first name.’ Then I considered one of my friends introducing me with that name, and a very strange, possibly positive but awkward feeling came out, and when I really noted what I had just thought and felt it felt like when a movie pauses itself or does a record scratch. What was I thinking? Why did I feel and think that?

And then the other day I was letting the dogs out and I thought about the pronouns “she/her” vs. “they/them.” I thought, ‘the pronoun “she” has a bit of a harshness to it, with the “sh” sound. “They” is much softer, smoother. It’s really nice, I think.’ There I was, stopping myself again because WOAH there what the heck am I thinking about?! It’s so weird.

Lastly we come to my own characters. I had this sort of self insert OC for a show I used to watch who looked almost exactly like me. Over time she became more separated from me, acting more like her own character in her own story, and she became more androgynous. Her hair is shorter, she’s thinner and taller (more like those non-masculine male characters I often like), and she’s flat-chested. Now, I’m flat-chested, too, but in this case, whenever I think about what she might look like under her clothes, I imagine a completely flat chest. Like a cis man. This character who used to be a self-insert looks so different now. And I wonder if she’s still, subconsciously, a self-insert.

I wanted to say, “maybe I’m still just a woman who is getting caught up in the rising number of nonbinary people and thinking that I’m something I’m not.” But, as I was typing it, I didn’t really like referring to myself as a woman. I tried to delete that and replace it with “girl,” but that didn’t fit right, either...I’m worried I’m not treating this correctly, not thinking about it right. Because there hasn’t been some big revelation, just some thing I think about but brush off and continue on with my day. So I can’t really tell if it feels right. But, I’m not sure if it feels wrong?

My family and living situation don’t help. As I write this my dad just got done watching a video of some kind and said in a really sarcastic voice, “Uh huh, black lives matter.” And my mother asked me if I’m bisexual a long time ago after talking about some people we know who identify that way, and when I said no she responded, “thank God.” So I don’t think I’m in the best scenario to have space to really think about this.

[og-danny-dorito]

Twisted Wonderland : Some Pomfiore Headcanons

bitcH hhhh- I fucking HATE D*sney but these BOYS- I'm starting with Vil because uhhhh istanhim

{ Vil Schoenheit }

♛ Rich Blonde Bitch Energy™

♛ like that's not even an insult he literally looks like a mean girl and i cannot explain how happy that makes me

♛ cause like,,, there’s no way he’s NOT rich you know what i mean???

♛ like he’s literally a model and an actor by profession and has a fuckton of followers on MagiCam (5MIL exactly, i looked that shit up) not to mention i’m CONVINCED this thot has a youtube channel

♛ yes, it’s a makeup channel

♛ he does some other stuff like vlogs and story times where he talks about drama he heard in the hallways earlier that day and promotes his cosmetic brand because he likes that Coint

♛ he also gives tips for good makeup techniques and how to not fuck up your whole face for certain situations because he likes to flex his skills while also (and he probably wouldn’t admit it out loud) helping people get better at something he personally enjoys

♛ he is a part of the beauty commity as someone who both makes cosmetics and wears them regularly himself and makes a shitton of money from that because he’s pretty and knows that shit

♛ his subscribers/followers make memes of him making weird faces to get certain angles of his face like this and he highkey gets mad that they would sabatoge his good angles like that but says it in the most passive-aggressive way ever

♛ like they have a Q&A video or whatever and they send him something like this and he just looks at the camera and goes “I love your selfie, maybe try to look a little less crusty next time though. Maybe it’s the lighting?” and moves on like he didn’t just end their career, take all their money and snatch their wig with one sentence

♛ that means that his morning/evening routine is like, unfairly complicated. like HEINOUSLY complicated.

♛ he applies like 3 different moisturizers before actually putting his makeup on and because he grows some amount of facial hair be has to put color correctors down, and then he has to use this weird primer from like France or something-

♛ it's super complicated and takes him like an hour but he's the God of Self Care and beauty and if you ask him nicely he'll reccoment beauty products for you (albeit with some underlying insults here and there such as suggesting products for the acne you didn't say you wanted help with and so forth)

♛ also i’m convinced that he’s androgynous/gender fluid since he canonically presents as a man but uses feminine pronouns to refer to himself so like let’s make a petition to officiate that Vil Is Trans 2020

{ Rook Hunt }

♛ big art nerd right here

♛ like, as an art nerd myself you can usually TELL that someone is an art nerd too just by the way that they act and the Vibe they radiate, and this man screams “I will talk for hours about ‘The Last Supper’ and how i’m fairly certain that Leonardo DaVinci was gay”

♛ it’s also canon that his best subject is art and that he likes photography and stage play so like,,, not only is he an art nerd he’s a theatre nerd- ehem -i mean ✨thespian✨

♛ i don’t wanna go so far as to say that he’s one of those theatre kids that ONLY like musicals but like,,, he knows every score to “Phatom of the Opera” (listens to this shit religiously) and has like 5 Playbills for different plays sitting on a shelf that he takes care of religiously

♛ probably hums said musical scores to himself a lot while he’s doing things, mostly cleaning or cooking, to which the latter he does regularly

♛ you see there’s a certain way that he likes his food cause he’s a Picky Eater™ so he just makes a lot of it himself to satisfy his specifics

♛ it’s almost annoying because certain textures and flavors throw his whole food experience off

♛ he likes things that are easy to digest like soups or (his canonically favorite food) Liver Pâté and dislikes things that are too crunchy or hard to chew through like hard candy and fried foods

♛ like,,, not only is having to eat something hard gross cause he has to hear the sound of it in his skull but also because it makes him look sloppy when he eats it so he just avoids crunchy/crispy/overal messy foods altogether

♛ he’s a pretty decent cook even though he barely cooks for other people. the only time he really does cook for other people is when his house is doing a potluck or he has to go to an event where he needs to bring food and most of his share is gone within like 10 seconds because it’s so good

♛ don’t let him bake though. fist fighting god would be easier than helping rook bake and God Save You if you tell him he can’t do it because he WILL do it out of spite and seriously fuck up your kitchen

{ Epel Felmier }

♛ he’s,,, he’s baby

♛ no like fr tho he’s baby, i love him

♛ his whole complex of not feeling masculine enough seriously hits me hard too cause like same, and i feel like he probably does some of the things i did to make myself seem more masculine when i felt like i wasn’t

♛ he probably wears clothes a bit too large for him outside of his uniform, which always tends to make him look smaller than he actually is and kinda counteracts his efforts to look less like a doll

♛ like it genuinely bothers him when someone calls him “pretty” or “beautiful” cause he views it as him possessing more feminine qualities and being seen as more delicate and fragile than he’s supposed to be

♛ he doesn’t realize yet that he doesn’t need to be more physically masculine to still be considered just as manly as a 6’3” bodybuilder with big muscles and a beard, but he’s still 16 so i’m sure he’d pick it up eventually

♛ genuinely feels joy when someone tells him that he looks “handsome” or “very dominant and regal” tho since it gives him confidence and a sense of self-validation

♛ and, even though he’s not very good with words, he’ll try his best to give them a compliment back even though it comes out as a bit stuttered and meek since he’s not used to giving compliments like that

♛ he probably swears a lot though. dude is a quote unquote “brash country boy” who grew up in the middle of god knows where with what i’m assuming is a vast collection of old men to teach that cute little innocent boy how to say every cuss word in the book

♛ for real, his mouth is filthy and it catches most people off guard. in fact, when rook told him he looked a little bit like a porcelain doll at some point he high key looked him in the eye and went “fuck off” quietly enough so that only he could hear

♛ and no one believed him when he said that Epel, the sweetest and most fragile boy in the whole school, told him to fuck. right. off.

♛ needless to say epel made sure to do it more, albeit a little quietly cause he doesn’t wanna cross the line of being indecent

♛ Make Epel Feral 2020

{ ~Thanks For Reading!~ }

[mango-forest]

Not As Much

When Marino is twelve, he figures out that maybe he isn’t as cis as he thinks he is. He doesn’t really know what to do about it. He doesn’t have a “best friend.” Sure Kim invites him over sometimes, but he doesn’t feel like a best friend. So Marino tries to wing it. There’s a bunch of people online who talk about, some talk about how their soulmate took it. Marino isn’t really interested in that, he just wants to know who he is.

Marino starts using she/her pronouns. Only sometimes, when she feels more feminine. It feels better than he/him on those days, but sometimes he/him feels good too. Marino tried they/them as a main set after about three months of experimenting. They think they might be genderfluid, but in April they decide that no, nonbinary feels better.

When they come out to their parents, they can tell that Tom and Sabine don’t really know what to do. So they try to be patient, but it’s hard. Especially when there’s no one else they’re out to.

They start designing. Clothes to make them appear androgynous, more feminine, outline their masculine features. Marino sees the name Damian on their inner wrist every time they create an outfit.

One year later and they kinda sorta come out to their school. They ask their teachers to use the name “Marinette,” a feminine sort of name. People stumble unsurely over she/her pronouns, but that’s fine; they haven’t come out yet about that.

Sometimes Marinette lays wide awake at night and wonders about what name their soulmate has branded on them.

When the Gotham trip appears a few years later Marinette resigns themself to their fate. Lila will be there, and she always, always just “accidentally��� misgenders them. Marinette’s pretty sure Rose told her about their agab and deadname. She always had trouble understanding, especially after they came out about pronouns.

The morning after they arrive in Gotham, the class is supposed to tour Wayne Enterprises. Marinette feels pretty nice, wearing a black skirt with matching leggings and a green and red shirt. But then Alya corners them in an empty hallway. “Hey,” she starts, tucking a hair behind her ear, “Lila showed me a few videos and articles about ‘nonbinary’—“ her hands make little aborted quotations from where they’re fiddling with her phone—“and maybe you should just leave that in Paris.”

“I—“ Marinette starts, confused, but Alya cuts them off.

“We don’t know if people here will be as. . . accepting of your—statement. Like, yeah I get it; I hate society’s expectations of gender as much as you do, but people here might not get the they/them stuff. So maybe stick with she/her here?”

“Wait, you think—what? I mean, maybe I will be better off trying not to test my luck with transphobia, but you think my pronouns are a—“

“Great!” Alya says with a big, relieved smile. “Glad you got it, girl.” She winks at the end of the sentence and Marinette tries not to gag.

Alya rushes off to the bus and Marinette stays a few minutes in the hallway, trying not to think about the fact that the liar got their best friend to become transphobic. When they finally feel like they won’t cry, they run down the stairs hoping that the bus hasn’t left yet.

When they get down there, they’re severely disappointed. There’s no sign of a bus, or their teacher, or any of their classmates. So Marinette sits on the steps and scratches at their soulmate’s name as they struggle not to cry. The name Damian has been burning since the plane touched down and Marinette can only guess that their soulmate is in Gotham.

So they sit there, in a pretty outfit, with light makeup on, Tikki pressing against them in the purse, soulmate mark burning, and their worn down sneakers tapping against the steps. Marinette doesn’t give attention to a pair of footsteps until they stop in front of them. “Hey,” a deep voice says. “Are you supposed to be with the class touring WE today?”

Marinette glances up and sees a pretty face. “Yeah,” they say.

“Do you need a ride? My brother is the tour guide, he decided that sending his brother is the appropriate response to a student being left behind.”

Marinette lets out a small laugh and runs a hand through their short hair, standing up. “My name is Marinette,” they say, offering their hand.

The boy’s—he’s around their age—eyes widen a bit and he shakes their hand. Once their hands touch, Marinette feels a sharp pain in their inner wrist then it lessens to a warm feeling that spreads throughout their entire body. “My name is Damian,” he says, and Marinette can’t hold back a startled laugh.

After a few moments, Damian hurriedly lets go if their hand, as if it’s just registering that people don’t hold hands for that long. “Oh, uh,” he starts, “are you—are you using—I mean. What pronouns do you use? I use he/him, but your name’s shifted.”

“They/them,” Marinette responds, watching his face.

“Okay,” he says, “I just wanted to make sure I’m not offending you.” And he smiles at them and they want to cry. Because no one’s just said ‘okay.’ There was always questions and insults and awkwardness and hatred and pity; but here’s their soulmate, taking it in stride and making sure they’re not being offended, and even if they turn out not to be romantically involved, Marinette will absolutely love if they can stay friends.

“Okay,” they say, because they can’t say any of that.

Damian cautiously thread fingers with them, and they let it happen. His hand feels warm.

“Okay,” he repeats.

[kimyoonmiauthor]

Gender

Lower engagement, but higher personal satisfaction... let’s go for that.

How I define my gender.

I’ve never really been 100% committed to being a woman.

https://www.quora.com/How-do-I-know-I-am-cisgender-Ive-heard-some-cis-people-do-question-their-gender-and-Im-trying-to-tell-whether-Im-trans-or-one-of-these-cases Taking the questions from here... it would split this way: Gender dysphoria- when I was younger, a little. Gender Euphoria- never. Gender Politics (beyond basic empathy for others)- Oh fuck no. I don’t get why so many, particularly cis men are hung up on men must wear pants and not pink. I *do* look for women in history, but it’s more like a solidarity and hating erasure of marginalized groups and celebrating those marginalized groups. So political one way, but not particularly on the philosophical performance part. I also tend to spend a lot of time on things I don’t understand.

“Do you feel equally comfortable in men and women’s fashion, only noticing the practical differences?” Pretty much. If you give me a man’s suit I’d wear it. I had no issues with playing as a man for a skit.

 Are you basically ambivalent about makeup? 50/50. Sometimes I do care and do it for “funsies” but most of the time I don’t care because I don’t like “woman as object and consumerism.”

“Do you ‘play along’ when someone tells you what your assignment should be doing, but also don’t really care?”

Pretty much true. Like I was told girls aren’t supposed to like dirt. Screw that. girls aren’t supposed to like sports. I was like screw that. Girls aren’t supposed to like bugs. So what?

I did tend to read more women-led fiction over men’s fiction, but that’s mostly because men’s fiction has “gems” that sexualize women in ways that made me squirm. Cis het men’s writing about women usually piss me off, so I usually don’t try. And I’m all about the fairness. (But also note I’m gray-aro and read a crapton of romance, so who knows how that all works. I’m also gray-a and read a crapton of romance, though not sex repulsed (more like somewhere between sex neutral and receptive? I rated myself a 6-7... on a 0-9 scale.)) Gender tests I’ve taken: 50/50. Usually get something like demi-boy or demi girl. Though I don’t really have that much dysphoria. I do occasionally feel pissed off about my sex presentation, but that’s not really dysphoria as in I hate my body parts actively. It’s more like, why do I have to bother with it? It’s so much work to have to worry in the first place.

When you look in the mirror, do you feel like there’s nothing that really needs to be changed?

This one is more like why do I have to care so much? I feel gender fucked. Like why do I have to go through the steps?

Are you happy with your hair, your chest, the shape of your face?

50/50 on this one.

Aside from maybe wanting to bulk up, wash your hair, or lose a few pounds, are you generally pleased with your appearance?

I give no shits?

Do you appreciate your genitals?

75%/25% appreciation/hate. Sometimes I hate they exist.

Do you like the idea of using them in sex or to make a baby?

This is more like my ace side, I think, but meh? Take it or leave it.

Do they make you feel connected to other people with the same genitals socially, such as complaining about periods, or talking about dick length?

Not really. I’m more like why do you care so fucking much? But I’m not sure how much this is an ace thing.

Do you feel like even if you don’t use them, it’s comfortable just having them around?

Sometimes, not always. Might also be an ace thing.

If you were in a social group of only your assigned gender, would you be happy with it?

Not always. I don’t evaluate that way. Trans people are cool. I pick usually by belief systems and who the person is, morally.

Would it be fairly easy to communicate and find things in common?

I feel ambivalent sometimes towards other women, especially when they go off on tangents about mall shopping, clothes, etc. I feel the same about men talking about watching sports and warfare.

Would you feel harmonious and homogeneous with the group, if the individuals had personalities you liked?

Meh? I also listen to people I don’t like.

If you took away all the physical features that made up your assignment, what gender are you now? Where does that feeling come from?

I’m still me. I don’t care.

If you got to choose your gender upon reincarnation, what would you pick?

Flip a coin. Roll a dice. I don’t give a fuck.

If a wizard changed your sex permanently, would you be pissed or excited?

Meh. Don’t care.

What gender characters do you generally play in RPGs, and what options do you wish were more frequently available?

I’ve generally played women, given no other options besides binary, but also moonlighted as men, but then felt sick because male privilege.

“Do I FEEL like my assigned gender?”*

Shrugs. Not that committed. If you got an all-expenses paid trip to womanhood spa central, and became a socially idealized version of yourself, THEN would you feel like a woman? 

No. I oscillate between liking make up for the pure knowledge of it, and not giving a fuck. I’ve never understood the hours of make up, hair performance, etc.

As a child, I was the type that wanted to be good at *everything* and was upset that my Dad wouldn’t give me the time of day for “masculine” things. I was *also* good at figuring things out. I *also* wanted to be good at sports. I *also* like girly things occasionally. I wanted it all and didn’t see why my brother or me got compliments for different things and felt deep insult when I couldn’t do that too and also get compliments for it. (If you’re imagining an annoying precocious child--that’s about right) I don’t see the point of the gender construct when it re-enforces ideas of genders can do only certain things, when it’s never been proven true. So why are people so effing committed to performing it? I wear hanbok. I’ll wear a male one. I’ll make an androgynous one. I wear those without issue. I’ll cross dress if I like, because I don’t really see the point and European and European-derived defined genders as fucked in the first place. What is this men==violence and horses thing? What is this women==weakness and capitalism thing? I don’t get it. And why do I have to wear European-derived clothes in the first place? Plus from my academic study of gender and gender history, that just cemented for me how fucked up the White European and White European diaspora is about gender in the first place and I feel even less committed to it. I do perform usually more like a woman than a man, but it’s more like whatever is convenient, rather than an absolute commitment to the role. ‘cause you know, my gender is my least concern here, (probably along with ace aro) while not quite hating on it. I wear my hair long, because money and I don’t feel like cutting it very often and I like to be able to keep it out of my food, as well.

I don’t mind masculine pronouns in theory, because whatever floats your boat. But I do care if you think foreign name==men, because that’s giving into masculine hegemony and that is rude to other people unlike me who might be more committed to their genders, and that I definitely care about.

[theta-lambda]

Petition of the Androgyne

An original poem

Gyno-

Sometimes some people are born with dismay,

Of Aphrodite as chromosomes say.

Forced to live life with long hair and soft skin;

Such pretty dresses that stop at the shin.

Hera, the mother of all gods above,

Hear my soft pleas and make me not a dove!

Peacocks instead might be preferable:

Males are so bright yet the females are dull.

“Why,” you might ask, “would you want such a fate?”

Well, to be bright is not really that great:

Ev’ryone staring day-in and day-out

Shouting the moment I started to pout.

Sorry; but I am not endlessly prim!

I will not live for a stupid male whim.

I exist for my own reasons, you see—

Always so busy, a hard-working bee.

Goddess of Love has me living a lie

Without respect when I struggle and cry.

Surely my plight is not really that bad:

Boundless attention? I ought to be glad!

Maybe it’s true my life isn’t so cruel,

And to complain makes me simply a fool.

Life’s been so easy since it first began,

Oh, I should just try becoming a man.

Andro-

Now Hermes is my patron god,

That god of thieves and stolen things,

Of herdsmen, heralds, tricksters too,

Oft carried on his sandals’ wings.

Oh joy! I’m taken at my word

When I make claims of having thoughts,

And if I speak I’m taken straight,

My words won’t twist in senseless knots.

To gain respect I needn’t fret,

It’s easy won with strength, you see—

Of mind or body, either works—

And people never pester me

To dress up nice and change my face.

No: now I only need to claim

One sophomoric lunacy

(Though when I’m wrong, don’t give me blame!

Instead give fault to all the world

Which dares to disagree with men;

Oh Gaea, you beloved fool

Create the laws of life again.

For men created after them

Believe these rules not to suffice

They’d sooner die than cede their truth

To silly things that govern life).

And now I know those men were wrong

(Those ones who said their lives were hard):

It’s harder still to be a girl

Whom all will quickly disregard.

Neutro-

Now, Hermaphroditus, I relate

To your plight of cruel, sadistic fate.

I am not a woman nor a man;

Both of us defy that simple plan.

True: I like to weave ‘til sunset’s dawn,

Pulling string until the thread is drawn

Through the fabric which conveys a thought

Of those heroes and freak things they’ve fought.

Stories that are told before my time

Told again, and ev’ry time they rhyme:

Whether it’s with colors or with words

Symmetry resembles young Love’s birds.

Yarn is writ with care into a song;

Words are weaved to tapestries along.

Feminine pursuits absorb my mind;

Masculine command with ev’ry line.

Plato has a soulmate’s origin

Saying we were once these four-armed men:

Women, born from soft and fruitful Earth;

Blazing Sun to willful Men gave birth;

To the Androgynes the Moon gave breath.

Zeus, of course, grew weary, called for death

Of these strong and happy eight-limbed pests;

With his lightning bolt he split their chests.

Lovers now without half of their whole,

Seek the one who complements their soul.

I suspect that Zeus was off his mark

When he split my ancestor apart,

For he did not make one simple pair

One of sturdy man and woman fair:

No, he made a soul that lives confused

One that has a body it’s refused.

Who will be the patron god of I,

Living with a gender odd and wry?

Who can alter woman turned to man,

Turn her—him—them—into someone grand?

Woe, Hermaphroditus, what say you,

Born from lovers bound to one from two?

Take on more than those born in-between;

Be the god for us who are not keen

On these silly genders we’re assigned

Based on just our bodies, not our minds.

I am more than anyone can see:

Only I can know who I should be.

[loplainlointhemorning]

why do you have the f slur And the d slur in your about yikes

p sure it’s in there bc u guys’ weird removed from real gay relationships & interactions get on my nerves a bunch & u know that but I honestly don’t remember so I’ll say it.

1. i think it’s regressive and stupid, in a community full of people who can look like anything, who can be any gender under the sun, whose presentations and experiences are deeply personal, complex, and multi layered to try and figure out who is what enough to say what slurs. it’s yet another brand of exhausting usually biphobic usually transphobic usually uninformed about how homophobic people use slurs sort of discourse and it’s..... im tired. i actually live in a household with transphobic people who say homophobic and transphobic slurs and literally anything feminine related to a masculine person, if they interpret them as too male to be a dyke, is labeled faggy, unless they can literally call them the t slur which I just wont engage with myself considering im tme and that word is usually used to hurt trans women. the gender, sex life, sexuality etc of whoever they’re calling a slur doesn’t factor into whoever they’re calling it, the point is they’ve identified something as Gay behavior and they’re shaming it.

2. I’m exhausted by the fact that ppl who can see me in my profile pic think I shouldn’t use the word dyke- I am obviously read as a woman day to day and the word dyke just means you’re being read as afab(I know this term is a little regressive but I’m not sure how else to communicate myself) and you fuck women. It specifically has the definition of Lesbian because for decades people have believed and perpetuated the idea that you can only either be gay or straight- This is why it’s so stupid to limit bisexual people from what slurs they can and can’t say because there are no bisexual-specific slurs. I KNOW you all would love to invent some like u reinvented butch/femme, but there aren’t, so telling young bi girls to say ~the d slur~ is ridiculous, as if they’re not gay enough to face homophobia.

3. If you think I should put a warning at the top of that page saying those words are in there, I’m p sure I neglected to do that and that’s on me, I’m totally willing to edit it. I believe in tagging slurs, I believe in people not wanting to read them or be called them, I never call people I don’t know or people who I know are sensitive about it/have experienced trauma regarding it by these words. However, gay people have been affectionately calling each other fag & dyke for a long, long damn time, and having watched u ppl ‘call out’ a couple of people for affectionately calling their friends these things I’m just gonna say it’s not abnormal behavior & some people are fine with it.

4. After 2-3 years of pondering my gender I’ve come to sort out that I’m androgynous, which in my definition is basically an extreme level of genderfluid. Sometimes I fluctuate very heavily towards boy, sometimes towards girl, but generally I’m somewhere between the two. I would like, however, to present in a style that would have me come across as a femme man rather than a girl, which is how I look now, or maybe even unreadable w a side of cheekbones, but as it stands referring to MYSELF as a fag makes ME happy. I would LIKE to be read as a faggot. I don’t get why most people can understand “my gender is dyke” or “I’m queer” but this one goes above people’s heads

anyways yeah that’s my thoughts on the slurs