#I have a cunning plan

[lulublack90]

Prompt 16 - Choke

@rosekillermicrofic September 16, word count 393

Previous part First Jegulus part

It was days before Regulus made contact and even then it was with Evan. He wanted to come round and talk. Barty was nervous but they needed this. He went into the spare room and got the bouquet of books and put it on the coffee table.  

Regulus arrived early that morning and rang the bell. Evan answered the receiver and buzzed him in. Barty took a deep breath and let Evan take his hand and squeeze it. He held on tightly, needing Evan to keep him grounded. Regulus walked in and glowered at Barty. 

“Reg,” He began, not letting Regulus spit venom at him before he’d apologised. Praying that he didn’t choke. “I was a total arsehole, and I am so sorry for what I said. It has been brought to my attention that I was jealous of Sirius because I thought you’d replace me with him. That same person also pointed out that you are not replacing me, just adding to your collection of people who give a shit about you and I really hope that Sirius continues to stay in your life as one of those people,” He’d spent hours writing and rewriting his speech and had Evan read it over. “Basically Reg, I fucking missed you and sorry I’m such a shit friend. I got you a gift to say sorry,” He let go of Evans's hand to pick up the bouquet and held it out to Regulus. Regulus blinked a few times but eventually accepted the gift and smirked at Barty. 

“Twat,” He said before peering into the plastic wrap to see what books Barty had got him. He let out a laugh. 

“You went to see Dorcas, didn’t you?” Barty nodded. “She’s the one that talked to you?” Barty nodded again. “Fine, I forgive you, but if you do anything like that again, I’m going to set Pandora on you,” Barty gulped, he really didn’t want that. “I’m actually here because I need both of your help and Pandora, too, if we can track her down.” His grin turned wicked. "How do you feel about a spot of revenge?” Barty grinned, now Regulus was talking his language. He caught Evans's eye and knew that the mischievous glint in his eye mirrored his own. 

"I think we'd be very up for that," Evan's smile promised their absolute worst. 

Next part

[misskattylashes]

Currently revisiting Blackadder and thinking how funny it is Blackadder and Baldrick are reincarnated four times and always have the same names......hang on...

[velis-et-remis]

[Image description: the character Baldrick from BBC's Blackadder saying "I have a cunning plan."]

William Shakespeare himself: and then, and then, you'll never guess what I've written next. It's genius. It's never been done. It's the perfect blend of humour and drama.

Anne Hathaway: is it a friar with a convoluted plan?

Shakespeare: IT'S A FRIAR WITH A CONVOLUTED PLAN

[rabbitprincessthief]

gog i still can't get over minish cap vaati's Everything. He is So Fucking Stupid (affectionate)

Like. This guy's establishing character moment is, in order:

he's introduced as having won an entire tournament to get to touch a magic chest and get a cool sword, which was the prize for said tournament

turns around and does a goddamn evil soliloquy TEN FEET AWAY FROM THE GUARDS who were about to hand him his macguffin on a platter

(like this man fucks up his own horribly planned daylight heist because he cannot keep a lid on the dramatics for FIVE FUCKING MINUTES, IN PUBLIC)

(THE BAR WAS ON THE FLOOR VAATI, FUCKING GANONDORF PLAYS THE PIPE ORGAN FOR HIS OWN BOSS INTRO AND HE STILL KNOWS BETTER THAN THIS SHIT)

proceeds to fight the guards (it is, admittedly, a curbstomp for him, but it still clearly wasn't his plan, because otherwise why bother with the tournament)

gloats evilly

opens chest, unleashing a whole bunch of monsters

exposits out loud about Zelda's powers like a nerd while she is actively charging up her magic powers to kick his ass

RECOGNIZES and IDENTIFIES said magic as the special power carried by the female royal line

completely fails to recognize it as the light force he is currently trying to get his hands on (he spends like 99% of the game not figuring this out.)

petrifies her

(i have no idea if link could have deflected this spell if he had managed to get the right angle with his shield but i like to think somewhere there is a very short and very funny alternate timeline where it happens)

(more importantly: no part of vaati's original presumed plan would have involved doing this. he 100% created this situation for himself by being an dramatic idiot and picking a fight for no good reason.)

looks in the chest

there's no light force

considering his stated goals he might be as confused as you are about the monsters tbh

uhhh

evil laugh

teleports the fuck out

He then proceeds to spend the rest of the game trying to figure out where the light force is and ends up having to wait for Ezlo and Link to figure it out first because he was, as far as I can tell, GENUINELY stuck on this part. He fucking kidnaps and impersonates the King, not for access to Zelda, but to… send guards to go look for the Light Force, presumably because he was either running out of ideas or genuinely thought that would work.

None of the guards even had any idea what he was talking about. He's not even good at impersonating the King. He's already sent like twenty people to the dungeon by the time you get there and it hasn't even been a week. Somehow the game spins this as a cunning plan and clever manipulation or something.

(Meanwhile the guards are just. Poking around in random bushes and shit hoping to find the light force. One of them asks you what you think it might look like.)

Zelda is literally right next to the throne and Vaati does not figure it out until you find an actual honest-to-goodness LORE TABLET spelling out that the Light Force is Stored in the Zelda, at which point he's like "ahahaha you've done my work for me this was definitely my plan all along" and takes over the castle and throws a bunch of monsters at you to stall for time while he figures out how to extract the force from her. Somehow he still doesn't think to actually lock the fucking door.

[ice-feast]

This episode has revealed that, yup, Jace is part of the Conspiracy of the season - but I don't think he's the mastermind behind it all. What would Jace gain from all this? His entire character is being chill. Why would he suddenly want responsibility? He intentionally teaches the subject with the least information to teach!

I don't think he's the mastermind.

I think it's Arianwen Abernant.

Ragh didn't just see Jace talking to Kalina. Arianwen was there too.

Everyone, including the Intrepid Heroes, is taking it for granted that Arianwen is still being chased around the Forest of the Nightmare King by a van with hands. But does the Forest of the Nightmare King still even exist? The forest of Sylvaire does, but Cassandra is no longer the Nightmare King. Her forest has become that soft twilit woods Kristen has visited a few times (and now contains a manticore). Even if Arianwen was meant to remain trapped in there (chased by a van with hands), Arianwen's punishment was hardly Cassandra's first priority. Getting new followers and not dying again was very much Cassandra's preoccupation. Arianwen could have escaped.

It's been a while since I watched Sophomore Year, but weren't the Abernants sent to Solace partially to separate Arianwen from her research into the Nameless Goddess? She could have learnt then that the Nameless Goddess had a forgotten wife. Anything the Bad Kids discovered could also have been discovered by Arianwen, an adult woman who didn't have the distractions of school and being a teenager taking her from her research.

What's more, wasn't Arianwen's motivation for helping the Nightmare King having him use his power for vengeance on Falinel? Falinel stripped the Abernants of their position and imprisoned Aelwyn. Arianwen cannot conceive of any of her actions being wrong. ("I was very warm and loving," she tells Adaine, the child she neglected and abandoned, without any trace of doubt. She also killed that guy to get into the Nightmare Forest, so we know she'll kill to achieve her goals, but tbh I find that less revealing than her reaction to Adaine's recounting of the abuse she's suffered.)

And now it's worse! She has no position of power, she has no magic, both her daughters turned on her, and one of those daughters punched Arianwen's husband to death. Isn't that unfair? Isn't that an injustice? Doesn't that make you angry?

If you fail to use one forgotten god in your revenge plot, you can always try again...

[y-rhywbeth2]

Astarion: "Do you have a moment? I think we need to talk." PC: "Are you all right?" Astarion: "Oh yes, I'm fine. I just-... feel awful."

Ah. This part of the playthrough. Whenever I get to this conversation I always have to wonder what it's been like inside Astarion's head building up to this conversation? How to secure your safety in three easy steps, according to Astarion Ancunín:

Manipulate a person into a fake relationship with you .

Feel really guilty about it because it turns out you genuinely like this idiot. You didn't even know you could feel guilt anymore. What the fuck.

Confess to them, obviously not far from the verge of tears sounding like you're not far off from a nervous breakdown because you have no idea what the fuck to do, but you can't keep doing this because, as per the quote, you feel awful.

[cienie-isengardu]

Everyone talks about Bi-Han being gullible/stupid etc for believing Shang Tsung + being manipulated by him. But Bi-Han sided with Shang Tsung because he wanted to break the Lin Kuei free from Liu Kang's control. He only accepted the alliance when he saw the Dragon Army and thought they actually had a good chance of winning. Meanwhile it's crickets on Hanzo "I killed your brother for no reason" Hasashi who got played by Quan Chi the man who actually killed his family & clan and whom Scorpion still grovels to. Not to mention that Raiden said he would try to get Hanzo's family restored if he didn't kill Bi-Han and this loser did it anyway. And this is only the tip of the iceberg for how much jackassery this fool pulls across every game. Yet Bi-Han is the irredeemable evil asshole because he *checks notes* says some mean things to his brothers >:( and some of this is done as Noob Saibot which btw loops back to Hanzo because Bi-Han wouldn't have ever become Noob if Hanzo hadn't killed him.

I think the most gullible person in MK1 was in fact Shang Tsung himself, who for some reason believed that a powerful mysterious being showing up out of nowhere would willingly share her power with him. Talk about a new level of naivety!

I have a theory of mine, that Titan Shang Tsung gave enough information about (previous timeline) Sub-Zero to his younger version, because breaking Lin Kuei from Liu Kang’s control was a personal matter to him. Like yes, it would weaken his enemy and bring the planned  chaos and “evilness” into the timeline he despited, but looking at the fact how Lin Kuei in majority of source material was an assassin clan with a strong, old-centuries ties to Shang Tsung, it feels to me likely that "reclaiming" the Lin Kuei was a matter of honor to him. Double so, as some sources went so far and presented elder Sub-Zero if not outright the favorite then one of favorite assassins working for the sorcerer. Frankly, as the story mode shows alone, “Damashi” talked and warned both Shang Tsung and Quan Chi about Lin Kuei before Sub-Zero even met any of them, so there was some behind-the-scenes preparation done and for all we know Bi-Han was targeted by the evil Titan before the main events even unfolded. 

As for Bi-Han, right now he has this misfortune to be blamed and hated for everything, whether he actually did it or not, so no matter what is the topic, he is in a losing position by definition. However, like you said, Sub-Zero did not agree on the spot to join Shang Tsung and actually had a chance to see what the supposed allies could offer him so it is not like he fell for empty promises alone. What is important to remember, Lin Kuei were one of major defenders of Earthrealm, so Bi-Han’s choice to switch sides actually would weakened Fire Lord’s forces, leaving him with Shaolin Monks and - depending how in Liu Kang’s timeline military technology evolved - the armed forces of nations that had no idea about Outworld’s threat. But the first part of Shang Tsung and General Shao’s plan was about depriving Sindel and her daughters of the throne, so there is possibility that before Earthrealm would be put in direct danger, Sub-Zero could alter his plans depending how well the teamwork would go with the sorcerers and General Shao.

If Kuai Liang and Tomas were either captured or eliminated from the picture, Liu Kang would not even know that Bi-Han switched sides until the attack - or, if the alliance played smart, Lin Kuei could backstab Fire Lord’s forces from the inside. And in the scenario in which Bi-Han was not captured by his brothers, he still could have an option (backup plan) to play Shang Tsung’s failure to his own gain if he was cunning enough. For example, he could betray the sorcerer to earn Earthrealm’s victory in the important moment and then lie to Liu Kang’s face that was his true plan from the start - the mission has failed, Lin Kuei brothers were outnumbered; he and Scorpion were trapped inside the fortress with Smoke, who if lucky, managed to hide himself (not something Sub-Zero could even knew). With no way to warn the Fire Lord and not seeing a better solution at that moment, under the pretense he is ready to betray Earthrealm, he learned what Liu Kang’s enemy were doing. Then trusting in brother’s skills, on purpose lied to Kuai Liang to piss him off enough so he could get out and reunite with Smoke. And when Bi-Han faced his angry brothers he fought only to let them run away, so they could carry on the important news to Liu Kang, while scarring Scorpion’s face as proof he was on board with Shang Tsung, so no one could doubt him. Because duty comes above family and isn’t that what was expected from Grandmaster and Lin Kuei?  Isn’t that what their father wanted? For them all to serve Fire Lord and Earthrealm at any cost?

And mind you, at this point in the story Sub-Zero had no idea that Liu Kang was in fact once Keeper of Time and had an access to Geras/Hourglass to rewind time and check what actually happened. For all Bi-Han knew then, the lie would be unprovable and, at worst, he would have to earn Fire Lord and his brothers’ trust again but then, it would be much more easy to play on their guilt, how easily they doubted when he was willing to go extra miles for the sacred duty they all talk and talk and talk about. At the same time, the experiences would teach Bi-Han he can’t trust his brothers and in future he needs to be more cunning about breaking out from Liu Kang’s control and probably relying more on Sektor & Cyrax. 

(And even if Kuai Liang would be upset, he couldn’t complain, because he is the one that wanted to uphold tradition. Bi-Han could then easily come back to the lie he tried to save father’s life and all the cruel things he said back then were an unpleasant necessity and how could you, my dearest brother, doubt me so easily…?)

Of course, in the end Sub-Zero was captured by his brothers and the possibilities thwarted but my point is, just because Bi-Han joined Shang Tsung, it does not mean he had no longer any autonomy over the course of action or that he wouldn’t make a backup plans for various outcomes. Lin Kuei were trained from childhood to do their duty and as far as we could see, they play the role of black ops for Liu Kang - what most likely also includes espionage. And in the espionage art one must be ready to act at any given moment and plan ahead. Bi-Han said himself, he has no loyalty to Earthrealm nor to Outworld and I do not doubt he would play the game with his survival and Lin Kuei’s best interest in mind. Who he would need to betray in the process would depend on who was winning and who was the most beneficial ally.

I think we all can agree that Lin Kuei mission and Bi-Han’s betrayal was a rushed subplot and both the brothers and emotional impact of the story would benefit more if Sub-Zero wasn’t cut off from the events right away after fulfilling his main purpose - giving a ground for new Lin Kuei vs Shirai Ryu conflict that won’t have any importance until the next games will use it. It is not even a matter if Bi-Han acted logically or not, but more the feeling of incompetence of everyone involved. Nitara and Ermac didn’t raise the alarm the moment when intruders were spotted (and Nitara literally screeched / screamed when she attacked Smoke). Bi-Han didn’t behead Shang Tsung when he had an occasion; instead he idly waited for enemy soldiers to run up to Lin Kuei - and really, if he knew the mission was endangered, he should have used the precious seconds to eliminate the target. Even if he was killed, there would be one enemy less for Liu Kang to deal with. Kuai Liang alone beat all the main fighters, burning the stone soldiers like they were nothing while Smoke, well he had one moment of serious panic and after that was just there, pushed to the background. Bi-Han’s choice and development of his subplot could be taken in interesting, even twisted directions in the hands of capable writers. And by that I don’t mean the intelligence of writers but capability to care for Bi-Han’s plot beyond the need to break Lin Kuei from Liu Kang. Because him acting either on impulse or seizing an opportunity he awaited for years does not mean he needs to stick to Shang Tsung & General Shao to the bitter end. I, for one, would like to see how cunning Sub-Zero could be in such a situation but for that NRS would need to let him be in the story as a full-fledged character that develops alongside the events and not be just there to push events and other characters' storylines forward.

As for original Scorpion, I feel there is in general a great change in perception of his and Sub-Zero’s storylines, as Scorpion in the earliest source materials, including the oldest comics, usually played the role of antagonist, while Sub-Zero even as an assassin could be pretty heroic on his own. Now the roles seems to turn around, however I suspect the main reason why fans give Hanzo benefit of doubt and forgive him any foolish decisions but won’t give Bi-Han the same treatment comes down to this: Hanzo is acting on strong emotions, something we can see by visually aspect of the games and heard him personally speaking about them while Sub-Zero does not externalize his emotions, because such openness is not in his nature (the old comics are better in that aspect but how many people even remember them these days?). It is much easier for fans to forgive character’s “stupidity”, the all wrongly made choices when character will openly admit to be upset, angry, devastated or traumatized than to forgive the one that won't spill out their guts, won’t cry or feel sorry for themselves and will just adapt and go on with their life. People forgive acting on overwhelming emotions when those are all over the place because emotions are something easy to relate - and who of us did not lose control over them at least one? Hanzo is powerful male character in terms of firepower and skills alone but he is also deeply messed up, traumatized man whose life was fucked up and now he is trying hardly to piece it together and to rebuild his sense of humanity and honor. Bi-Han as Noob Saibot just… adapted and moved on with his life and the amount of people he would admit any feeling of regret or injustice done to him I can count on one hand and still have a finger of two free. Meanwhile everyone who cares to learn, knows Hanzo is grieving after his clan and family or is upset or angry and so on. Which is also why I think so many characters (and fans) think Bi-Han as a Noob Saibot is so vile and evil - because in contrast to other Wraiths and/or Revenants, he does not show any sign of trauma, be it leashing out in anger or outrightly speaking how deeply wounded he is, even if he died in no less brutal way than rest of fallen heroes - and isn't it ironic that Kuai Liang was accused about that too? Of not looking traumatized enough because he does not show openly his pain . And accused by Sonya of all possible people?

It’s easier to relate and understand characters wearing emotions on their sleeve because all the reasoning and effects of their actions are either easy to trace and connect or explicitly stated by characters themselves. Hanzo is such a character. He is sad and angry so he acts in a way a sad and angry man would. Bi-Han though? If people except Bi-Han - a characters specifically connected to ice - to spill out his guts how he feels, to cry how unfair his life was and how everyone is mean to him or to vomit the over-sweetened praises for anyone he likes or jump at any occasion to cuddle anyone at arm length to know he feels anything at all, then… Well, that is definitely not the right character for them. Bi-Han just doesn’t work like that and sure, his anger may flare here and there, but as I was pointing out in different metas and analyzes in the past, that man is not overly emotional to begin with, even when talking with people he likes and cares for. I won’t lie, sometimes to understand Sub-Zero’s reasoning one needs to use all imagination and do some mentally gymnastics as the character won’t tell us what is happening inside his head the way Hanzo would. But that can be fun on its own, to examine and analyze and build theories. However, let’s be real here, it is not for everyone and each for their own.

[ferdihound]

im tired of pretending cider isnt sane

HES FUCKING UNHINGED IN MY PERSONAL OPINION

my headcanon is complicated...

ANYWAY, CLOSEUP OF HIS STUPID FACE;... which im very proud of

[dairine-bonnet]

Amnesiac Revan: How can The Jedi Council send a completely inexperienced padawan like me to stand against Malak?

Bastila: Hmmm?!

Amnesiac Revan: It just appears as if they want to get rid both of me and Malak at once.

Bastila: ...

[lavenderjewels]

my only general predictions for jjk is that Yuuji will be able to target the different souls in Sukuna’s body to be able to reach Megumi’s suppressed soul and attack sukuna’s. Im actually interested in how this will all go down, especially with Higuruma in the mix, since these fights can’t be as simple as two overpowered characters with the loss of multiple special grade sorcerers. With the potential of a court trial domain or Yuuji’s knowledge of the soul, I imagine it’ll become more psychological or metaphysical in the fighting, with a lot of good insight into sukuna and/or yuuji, megumi, etc. As for Kenjaku, I have NO idea where their story is going (apart from Yuuta wanting to kill them), but i enjoy that part of the story being unpredictable—it fits their character

[ghosts-uk-us-showdown]

one of the secret awesome things about these polls is that I’m luring in a bunch of ghosts fans and now have a list of blogs to look at for content

[lulublack90]

Prompt 18 - Paint

@jegulus-microfic May 18, Word count 588

Previous part First part

James was woken up just after dawn by Sirius and Peter coming back to the dorm after Remus had transformed again. He pulled the curtains back so he could look at them, Regulus still nestled into his side. 

“How was it?” He asked Sirius in a low voice. Peter waved at him but dove into his own bed, hoping to get a few hours sleep before lessons began. 

Sirius shook his head. 

“He wasn’t happy. I tried everything to calm him down.” He swallowed and James saw the tears flighting to get out. “He chewed up his paws, he wouldn’t stop. He wanted to be out of the shack. When he turned back, his hands were in tatters. I couldn’t stop him, Prongs.” A tear leaked down his face and James felt so guilty. He should have been there to help Sirius, to be there for Remus. But instead, he was curled up safe and warm with his boyfriend. He opened the arm that wasn’t wrapped around Regulus towards Sirius. Sirius glanced once at his slumbering brother and bounded into James’s bed. 

Sirius snuggled tight into James and James held him. He stroked his hair and muttered reassurances to him. Regulus stirred and slowly blinked and opened his eyes. 

“What are you doing in here?” He grumbled at Sirius, clearly not happy with his new bedmate. James had been about to step in when something strangely wonderful happened. Regulus noticed the tears on Sirius’s face and the way he trembled slightly. He reached over James, and took his brother's hand. “Is Remus alright?” He asked gently. Sirius shook his head again and sniffled. “Well Madam Pomfrey will fix him up, won’t she?” James had never seen the two brothers getting on so well. He was afraid to breathe, in case he broke the spell. 

Sirius looked over at the window and said quietly. 

“You need to recite the incantation,” He rolled and grabbed Regulus’s wand off the bedside table and handed it to him. 

“Thank you.” He wiggled out of James’s hold and sat on the edge of the bed. “Amato, Animo, Animato, Animagus,” He chanted while holding his wand to his heart. He handed his wand back to Sirius and laid back down. They all slept until Peters alarm clock blared, and they forced themselves to get up. 

“I feel like I need to prank,” Sirius declared as they were pulling on their robes. “It’s been too long since we did anything good.”

“I’ve got a bunch of fanged frisbees in my trunk. We could use them,” James suggested as he flung the invisibility cloak over Regulus before they left the dorm. 

“Nah, too boring.” Sirius dismissed. 

“There is nothing boring about a fanged frisbee,” Peter piped up. “Remember the one that went off in Zonkos? It nearly scalped me.” 

“Either way, Pete, it’s not what I had in mind.” His eyes flickered to the hundreds of paintings all around them. 

“Did I ever tell you I used to paint?” He grinned mischievously. A bodiless groan came from beside James. 

“I don’t want to be anywhere near you lot when he does that. You should have seen what he did to Phineas Nigellus. It took months for him to return to normal.” James couldn’t help it, he was intrigued.

“What you thinking, Padfoot?” Sirius gave him that look that gave him shivers of anticipation. 

“I think the paintings could do with a bit of fun,” James couldn’t wait to see what Sirius's imagination would come up with.   

Next part

[amelikos]

Spinel's kind of fascination with Friede..

I wonder if he is done playing with him for now (he said Friede was still worth playing with, which sure was a line of dialogue to have him say), or if he was "happy" when Friede got out of his trap in HZ044 and surpassed him in that one moment because it meant they were equals.

[theangrycomet]

Sibling and I have agreed that we need a device where we can transfer the important information directly into eachother's brains bc trying to explain the context behind our fandom memes to eachother is becoming a nightmare

[acrossthewavesoftime]

...If there is one rule in British TV series of the late 1960s to early 1980s, it is that if your series contains a character by the illustrious appellation of "Prince George", that character must

be of noble stock, and foreign(-ish) parentage.

be distinguishable from the rest of the cast by his fashionable attire of pastel colours garnished with the star of the Garter.

wear a blond wig of essentially period-appropriate, yet somehow irritating proportions and (suspected) powers; it is left for the viewer to decide whether the wig long ago devoured the Prince's brains, being a sentient creature in its own right, or whether it insulates the Prince's brain so well against matters beyond the tip of his own nose that he speaks ineloquently to the point of being perceived as being not quite the brightest candle on the royal wedding cake by all around him.

for the above reason be somewhat annoying at all times when he opens his mouth.

...And for every Prince George, there is a somewhat less tall, soberly-attired dark-haired man in a black coat who, though inferior by birth, manages to obtain a certain standing in the world by way of a ruthless personality and razor-sharp wit, whom Prince George can turn to and accept as the actual brains of the operation.

The First Churchills aired in 1969, the third season of Blackadder in 1983. If this is a coincidence, I will tell you for the affordable price of one of Baldrick's turnips. ;-)

[ansatsu-sha]

Muzan's plan / Kimetsu no Yaiba S4E8