#I have a Few Thoughts about it but it's overall mostly positive and mostly excitement

[may8elle]

The new Zelda is really gonna split opinions (and it already heavily is) and I understand both sides and totally get why it's splitting opinions the way it is- it does high-key suck that we can't bash bokoblins heads in or have offensive magic (that we've seen so far, anyway) or have a more combat-focused thing, a la literally every other Zelda title

But in the same breath, I am kinda excited that Zelda gets her own powers, mechanics, and that it's focused on the Wisdom aspect of the triforce, which she has always meant to represent.

Thoughts on puzzle games and a more puzzle-focused Zelda title aside (since that's what it looks like to me), I do think it's incredibly nice that they are playing into that part of her character since they aren't going to give us the ability to whoop some monsters in a more "Link"ish way

[flightfoot]

You know, I love seeing Alya in a lot of different fics, and I've seen her depicted in a few different ways.

I enjoy seeing her just being there, taking on a similar role to what she does in the show, helping out when needed, and overall being a kind person who enjoys helping others.

But while I like seeing her in that capacity, since it's a positive portrayal that is nice to her, it's not the sort of portrayal that really gets me excited. It's a kind of "background, supporting character" kind of portrayal, and while that's needed sometimes, it doesn't really develop her all that much.

The depictions of her that really get me excited, that make me gush about how well the fanfic's treating her, are the ones that don't just portray her positively, but instead treat her like a full person. Ones that delve into her emotions, her viewpoint, and even her biases, that let her make decisions based on what's best for her personally, and maybe even regret them later. But importantly, she's not treated as being bad or evil for this, but instead as a person who's muddling through life as best she can, who has things she wants and values in conflict.

Actually the show touched on this sort of thing as well, it's one of the reasons I really liked Alya in Rocketear. We got to see her struggle with her conflicting loyalties to both Marinette and Nino, with wanting to follow Marinette's orders while also not wanting to lie to Nino and potentially damage their relationship. And I liked her eventually telling Nino that she's helping Ladybug, because she didn't want to continue lying to him after that particular lie had already caused damage in their relationship. And while Alya later was dismayed at how things went down in the finale, Marinette didn't blame her, understood where she was coming from, and wanted her to continue.

That's the sort of thing I want to see. For Alya to have her own viewpoint and to make decisions based not simply on eternal loyalty to one person, but as a result of weighing her different values and wanting things to work out in the best way she can make them. And for her to sometimes be wrong or for something to have negative consequences, and still have her treated with kindness and respect. For her desires to be treated as being a worthy reason to do things, because her desire to be happy matters.

Like... with Marinette, I'll see this represented in fanfiction frequently. Marinette can be snappy or irritated, or even lie and hide things because she thinks they'll lead to a better outcome, and even when she hurts others in the process, the narrative is often sympathetic to her and gives credence to her thoughts, emotions, and viewpoints, and depicts her trying to make things better for herself as an understandable thing.

While for Alya, it's a lot harder to find something like that. Most of the time she's in a supportive role where any personal issues she has aren't focused on and she's mostly there to help out Marinette with whatever she has going on. In a lot of fics where she DOES do something for her own personal benefit, when she prioritizes herself at all or simply weighs all her different relationships and balances them as best she can, but in a way that's detrimental to the person the author likes the most, she'll be portrayed as a horrible, cruel person deserving of punishment, or at the very least as needing to learn a harsh lesson to become a better person. Any desire to do something for herself or to help maintain relationships she values is looked at in the worst possible light.

Just... I love stories that allow Alya the same sort of grace and understanding as most main characters are afforded.

[zippityzap]

Thoughts on Amy Rose’s Fortune Card Deck

My preorder for the official Sonic tarot deck arrived unexpectedly the other day and I’m excited to share my thoughts on it! I believe my copy was sent out earlier than it should’ve, so to make sure no-one who is still waiting on theirs is accidentally spoiled, I’ll be putting all the details below the cut!

First of all, I keep saying this, but the cards and the box are both gorgeous! My only complaint is that the size of the cards makes them difficult to shuffle, but considering I have this issue with every tarot deck I own, I think I might just have small hands. Big cards do allow for the card art to be detailed so you win some you lose some I suppose.

The guidebook is detailed, pretty decent introduction to tarot in my opinion, it explains the major and minor arcana, upright and reversed positions (called hero and dark for this deck), the suits, and even a few suggestions for card spread. And I love how the book is written from Amy’s perspective.

What surprised me is that the guidebook tells you the equivalent tarot card for each major arcana. I was under the impression that they were very purposefully avoiding actually calling these cards tarot, possibly because some parents might get funny about their kid asking for stuff associated with the occult?

But I certainly don’t mind that they did this, it allows me to see that some of their choices for card representation (eg Sonic as the Chariot, Knuckles as the Hermit) are similar to when I made my own Sonic major arcana years ago. Even those that are different from my choices are very interesting! For example, two Gaias as The World is so on-point I am smacking myself for not thinking of it on my own.

There’s also some slightly more obscure references to be found in this deck, I think the deepest cut is this card with the flickies from 3D Blast

We’d already seen the king and queen cards in previews but it was a surprise and a delight for me to see Sage as the page of lightening. She looks so cool there!

In general I think the numerical minor arcana are a good indicator of a deck’s overall quality, because I have seen some decks go the lazy route and make them just the objects laid out like playing card suits. I am very happy to report this is not the case for this deck! All these cards feature cute scenes with chao, flickies, mobini, and wisps!

It does feel a lot more light hearted than most tarot decks, if I am correct in my assumption this one of a chao badly losing a race is equivalent to the Ten of Swords. Definitely a different vibe than a corpse looking like a pincushion.

That said, this one being so sad caught me off guard!

All in all, I think it’s such a fantastic and unique deck. Personally I like tarot decks mostly for their aesthetics rather than for divination, but I’d certainly be curious to try doing a few readings with this deck!

[cinderflower]

Thoughts on SotE now that I've seen/explored essentially everything the DLC has to offer.

This post is quite lengthy so I've put it under a read more.

Overall, I did enjoy this DLC and most of what it included. There were only a few major issues I had with it and most of it is from a lore perspective (wow guess about what!) and a lot due to my own personal preferences. So I'll start with the positive, because there is actually a lot of positive with this DLC.

Gameplay: I really enjoyed the gameplay and world design of the DLC, the new weapons, etc. Overall from a pure gaming perspective this is primarily peak FS. While the bosses could be excessive at times with how few openings you get and how short those openings are, that didn't bother me at all for the most part. Most bosses felt fair and rewarding to fight and defeat and tbh at the end of the day that's mostly what I care about when playing these games. Metyr, Rellana, & Putrescent Knight in particular stand out as the two I enjoyed learning the movesets of and fighting the most (except Metyr's lazer beam spin attack, good god).

Level Design: The levels acting as self-contained areas similar to the base game was definitely appreciated and I did enjoy having to figure out how to traverse the map to get to the various places. Each area was unique and visually stunning - though the lighting and saturation at times was jarring. The frenzied flame area in particular stood out to me as something I'd love to see revisited again from a design and mechanics perspective. Also the Cerulean Coast and Trina's area were gorgeous.

Lore: Trina!! The main standout that I enjoyed was the Trina lore. Also the lore regarding the shadow realm, frenzied flame, the fingers, Ymir, Messmer, and Marika all felt mostly seamless with the base game with most having callbacks to lore scattered around in the main game itself. There's a few things I disagree with fandom's interpretation on already but that's to be expected.

Most of the positive is a lot of what people have already been saying so I'm not going to belabor the points too much.

Now, what didn't I enjoy?

Gameplay: The excessive re-use of base game mini-bosses, specifically the ones I already hated fighting (dragons, death rite bird, fallingstar beasts) ended up all feeling like a chore rather than being rewarding. Similarly, the furnace golems got really old really fast and the gimmick ones weren't even enjoyable to figure out - I'll absolutely skip them if I play through this again. Lastly, I'm convinced the Commander Gaius fight was designed in a lab to be utterly miserable to me specifically because it had every single mechanic I hate in a fight.

Level Design: Some areas were so incredibly barren it was a chore walking through them. As mentioned above the shadows and saturation at times was jarring so I do wish that had been cleaned up.

Lore: By far the lore I was most excited for is the lore that disappointed me the most, and not even necessarily because of the story it was trying to tell, but how it told it. I've always from day 1 been onboard with a version of Miquella that strives to make the world better from a sense of naive idealism that ends up leading him down a similar path as Marika once he sees that everything he tries fails to come to fruition, that he cannot undermine the Golden Order and the state of the world with what power he has and with the power he has at his side. I am onboard with a Miquella who piece by piece compromises his ideals in an "end justifying the means" kind of way - so my complaint is how they actually went about trying to tell that exact setup.

Before even the Radahn debacle, the heavy heavy heavy leaning into the bewitchment aspect of Miquella was so incredibly disappointing because it strips his character of what I personally found so intriguing about him: a character who lured people to his side for his sense of idealism, people who then had to come to terms with their own atrocities committed on his behalf for the sake of this ideal future, and all the complexities that accompany that. I always find that mind-control, bewitching, etc in fiction is an incredibly difficult tool to use in a way that is narratively satisfying which is why I detest the use of it so much, because it does exactly what it did here - it took the characters who had their own motivations, lore, and complexities pre-DLC and stripped them down to being either one-note, victimized, or it trivializes their own lore entirely. Primary casualties of this lazy writing choice: Miquella, Mohg, Radahn, and Malenia

Moving into Mohg - I just hate it, what can I say. It's all the above. The whole reason Miq needs his body is such a weak plot point that I have no words. The bewitchment takes this character who was such a beautiful narrative foil to Morgott, strips him of that complexity, and is now forever cast into the victim role. I'm not saying he isn't a victim, don't get me wrong, but to me it was more compelling when that victimhood was at the hands of Marika and the Golden Order. It felt satisfying seeing a character in contrast to Morgott who rose in the Erdtree's defense trying to make something new in response to being outcast and shunned. Sure, were the means at the hands of an Outer God? Yes. Was the blood cult cruel and wicked? Also yes - in fact, as I write this, Mohg seems more of a mirror of Marika than anyone else. Suffering under the current regime and creating an empire to overthrow it; but unable to claim godhood himself like Marika did, he needed a surrogate candidate for godhood, specifically the Formless Mother's godhood: Miquella (assuming only empyreans can become gods and Ranni's body is gone and Malenia is already under the influence of the Rot God). The reasoning for his kidnapping of Miquella is already there, so why did the DLC feel the need to cheapen everything about that narrative to just go "haha jk he was bewitched this whole time" ! Unsatisfying. Deeply disappointing.

Radahn is baffling, even now after sitting on the lore for a few days, it is utterly baffling to me. I get how the DLC set everything up so please don't try to explain it to me, I get it, but it just makes no sense when looking at what the base game set up and even Miquella's ideals? If Miquella is looking to build an age of compassion, why choose the character who wants to be a warmonger? They even re-state numerous times how Radahn finds that war suits him, which makes sense, because his character was about aspiring to be like Godfrey who was The Warmonger Extraordinaire. It made sense that between his allegiance to Sellia and his tutelage under the Alabastor Lords that he would hold back the stars (which control fate, though the DLC did muddy this up too, a post for another time) and would use that power to defend the control he had and seek out more control. But why would he seek it out at Miquella's side and make a vow for an age that would end in the lack of war? That would put him docile and complacent, nothing more than a tool, at Miquella's side?? Especially because if he idolizes Godfrey, surely he would have seen how when Godfrey no longer served his purpose, when there were no more wars to fight, that Marika cast him out - so why would he ever agree or make any sort of vow to that end? It makes no sense to me. It also absolutely makes the whole battle of Aeonia so trite and meaningless, so utterly devoid of any of the dynamic that made it compelling.

Which brings me to Malenia who actually got me interested in ER lore in the first place. It was her character that got me more interested in Miquella and consequently Mohg as characters. So what the DLC has done to her character is nothing short of tragic to me. What was the point of it all? Obviously for her scarlet rot to be cured is a big part and her loyalty to Miquella is as well and I do still believe she would go to would go to devastating lengths in his name (at least pre-DLC). But post-DLC? With the Radahn lore? Why would she entertain the battle of Aeonia in the first place? Why would she nuke herself and Caelid to try and kill Radahn if it was all "according to Miquella's plan"???? It cheapens the devastation, it cheapens her character, and it makes her look worse. Also Miquella was there as well as we see from dialogue with Freyja where he cures her of her rot so ??????? Why did Finlay have to single handedly carry her back to the Haligtree???? If this was all planned???? Someone please explain this to me because I cannot make it make sense.

The most glaring sins of all the above is that while the other lore the DLC expanded upon had roots and foreshadowing in the base game, the whole of Miquella's story in the way they decided to tell it - with the exception of Trina and his core motives - had nothing in the main game. It was all net-new information added in the DLC. And sure, DLCs are supposed to expand upon the base game and give new information, I don't disagree, but when everything else in the DLC has tie backs to the base game and this plot point doesn't? Not an item description? No environmental story telling? It's just bad writing. I refuse to believe the Haligtree statue is Radahn not Godwyn based on the base game lore, that's lazy as fuck justification. Similarly, I've seen people point to Loretta, and sure if Loretta was encountered in Caelid where all the Radhan lore was but she wasn't, she was with Ranni in the Ranni area so that's weak as hell too.

In summary: if this was the version of lore and Miquella that had been presented in the base game I would have absolutely no interest in the story or the character. If anything this DLC has served to actively sap out a lot of the excitement and joy I had in the series because it handled the main lore I was interested in so poorly (my opinion).

I'll probably still finish Field of Reeds as well as Truth and Blood especially now because I want to see the story through with the care that the DLC should have given to the characters, but beyond that? I can't see myself remaining invested in Elden Ring moving forward, especially not if the DLC canon seeps into the main fandom. I already dislike seeing the few Radahn/Miq things I've seen because of all the points above. If you liked the DLC and the Miq lore, more power to you, but I'll be cleaning up my feed to avoid a lot of it moving forward.

And my one last petty gripe: it's like they wanted the radahn/miq fight to echo the vibes of twin princes, but they utterly missed the point of why the twin princes fight from a mechanics and lore perspective was so interesting in the first place.

[tickly-giggles]

Watch Your Back (My Hero Academia)

A/N: This is a sequel to Feather Ticklish, so I highly recommend reading that before this :D Also, this does get kinda angsty at the end, but I promise it's a fun read and there's no warnings aside from the mention of cigarettes :>

Warning: Tickle fic ahead!

Characters: Dabi, Hawks

Shipping: Technically DabiHawks but they're still not together yet

Lee: Hawks

Ler: Dabi

Word Count: 3,093

Summary: It's been a few weeks since Dabi warned Hawks to watch his back, but nothing has come of it. Hawks decides to go about his work without worrying about it too much (spoiler: he worries a lot) and, during a private outing to the hideout late at night, he runs into Dabi.

--------------------------------

Weeks had gone by like normal with no signs of hostility from Dabi aside from his usual snarky attitude. He didn’t want to admit it, but Hawks was on edge, and only grew more so as time dragged on. 

“Watch your back, birdie.”

He shivered at the unpleasant memory. Hawks may have only tickled him, but Dabi was a villain. Did he really expect him to solve this amicably? 

"I'd be lucky if all he did was burn me," 

he muttered to himself as he sifted through a cardboard box he had found behind the bar counter of the hideout.

He had joined the League to gather intel, so that was what he was going to do. Or, at least, it's what he tried to do. He couldn't get what Dabi said out of his mind, and the fact that he never made any move or gave any indication of revenge only worried him further.

With a frustrated grunt, he shook the thoughts out of his head and continued to search through the box. There wasn't much worth noting. It was mostly filled with junk, aside from some polaroids. Hawks couldn't help the small smile that tugged at his lips. 

The League of Villains looked like anything but. One photo depicted Toga and Twice holding hands and dancing together. Another had what looked to be Shigaraki shoving at the camera. Judging by each villain's personalities so far, Hawks figured Toga was the one to take the picture. 

The last polaroid showed all of them. The camera must have been set on a timer, because they were all positioned together in a group.

Toga and Twice looked happy as can be, Toga sticking her tongue out and winking with Twice ruffling her hair and giving the camera a thumbs up.

Mr. Compress did his best to look formal with a bow and a tip of his hat, but it was easy to tell he definitely didn't mind the camera. 

Spinner was the opposite. He tried to look like he wasn't interested by turning away from the camera, but his overall demeanor was that of childlike excitement.

Shigaraki did not prefer to be on camera, and it was obvious in his reluctant pose. He had one hand stuffed in his hoodie pocket, and the other scratching at his cheek absentmindedly while he stared off to the side.

Then there was Dabi, apathetic as usual. He stared into the camera, thumbs stuffed in his pants pockets, and his face void of emotion. Hawks furrowed his brow, as if trying to decipher what Dabi was thinking at the time of the photo.

"The hell are you doing?" 

Hawks squawked and fumbled the polaroids, haphazardly shoving them back into the box. He whipped around to see Dabi standing there, eying him curiously. He leaned to the left to peer at what Hawks was looking at.

"Where'd you find that?" he asked, his tone indiscernible.

"I- uh- I- it.."

Hawks swallowed and collected his thoughts,

"It was behind the bar. I was just curious."

A moment of awkward tension passed before he handed the box to Dabi,

"Sorry, I didn't mean to snoop."

"Yes you did,"

Dabi smirked as he took the box from him,

"You wouldn't have gone through it otherwise."

“Ah,”

Hawks rubbed the back of his head with a nervous chuckle,

“Ya got me. Um, what’re you doin’ up so late, anyway?”

“I could ask you the same question, birdie.”

Dabi set the box on the counter and stared intensely into the hero’s eyes. Hawks stared back, not daring to blink.

“Couldn’t sleep, I guess,” he breathed.

“So, naturally, your first thought was to come here,”

The hot headed villain took a step toward Hawks, 

"Why dont'cha tell me why you're really here?"

The number two hero didn’t back down. If there was anything he learned from being a pro for so long, it was to never show fear. He swallowed the lump in his throat and slowed his heart rate as he tried to think of an answer. 

When he couldn’t think of any substantial excuse, he simply shrugged and laughed airily, 

“I was curious about everyone’s lives. We hang out a lot, but it’s mostly for meetings and all. I wanna get to know everyone a little better.”

“And what better way to do that than snooping through our stuff~?”

Hawks’ relaxed smile faltered at Dabi’s tone. He watched him as he got ever closer, practically pinning him up against the bar. The air in the room felt quite warm all of a sudden, and there was a tightness in Hawks’ chest that he couldn’t relieve. He wanted to avert his gaze, but he knew doing that would practically be admitting defeat. Instead, he continued to stare into Dabi’s harsh, ice blue eyes.

“Well?” Dabi breathed,

“Are you gonna be honest with me, or am I gonna have to- GAHAH!”

The pro hero watched Dabi clutch his midriff and stumble backward. He didn’t really mean to squeeze his side, it was just the first thing that came to mind! He was trapped, he had no other choice. It was a survival instinct.

Suddenly, Dabi's intense glare pierced through Hawks, and he quickly realized that he was probably better off dead.

Hawks’ fight or flight response kicked in. Being as quick as he was, he was relying on his skills to get out of the hideout faster than Dabi could blink. Sadly, that didn’t end up being the case. Dabi tackled him as soon as he made to run, and the hero grunted as he fell face first into the floor. The villain grinned and sat on Hawks’ lower back. After a small struggle, he was able to pin his wings underneath his feet, effectively rendering him immobile.

“Guh! L-Lemme up!” Hawks growled, squirming fruitlessly.

“I warned you, feather brain. I can’t believe you had the balls to do that again,”

Dabi chuckled coldly,

“I’d be impressed if I wasn’t so pissed off.”

Hawks desperately tried to flap his wings, but to no avail. He foolishly tried turning his head around to at least see Dabi, but was met with nothing but pain in his neck.

“So what’re you gonna do?”

He snapped at the villain,

“Kill me?”

“I told you to watch your back, didn’t I? Not doing such a good job at that right now,”

Dabi’s tone was pondering as he scanned the hero beneath him,

“I wonder…”

Silence filled the room, and the tightness in Hawks’ chest returned. What was Dabi going to do to him? Fully expecting the worst, he clenched his fists and readied his body for whatever amount of pain he was about to endure.

And then…

“GAAHAHAHAHAHA WHATTHEFUHUHUCK!”

Dabi cackled at the reaction. He skittered and scribbled his fingers along Hawks’ back, greedily drinking in the desperation of his victim’s thrashing.

“What’sa matter, birdie? Your back a little sensitive~?”

“WHAHAHAHAT ARE YOU DOHOHOHOING?!”

“What’s it look like, you moron?"

Hawks wriggled and squirmed helplessly, the tickles feeling even more intense because he couldn’t arch or turn his back away from them. He was completely trapped, entirely at the mercy of a member of the League of Villains. Even his wings were unable to flap properly due to Dabi putting most of his weight on them, not to mention the odd angle he was at. Being so vulnerable only increased Hawks’ sensitivity, and his face erupted in red.

“OKAHAHA- HAHAHAHA!! OKAY YOHOHOU GOT YOUR REHEHEHEVENGE! Y-YOHOHOU CAN STOP NOHOHOHOW! GAHAHAHA!!”

Dabi smirked at the mess of a hero beneath him. His thumbs and forefingers nipped at his shoulder blades with intense accuracy while the rest of his fingers scribbled along the sides of them,

“I’m just gettin’ started. You tortured me, so I’m gonna get you back twice as bad. You shouldn’t have messed with me, Hawks.”

“STAHAHAHAHAP! I-IHIHIHIT TIHIHIHICKLES!”

Dabi jolted and he grumbled as he dug into the hero’s back with even more force, relishing the delightful shriek he ripped out of him,

“Just shut up and take it, bird brain.”

Hawks slammed his fist against the floor in ticklish frustration. He couldn’t even remember the last time he was tickled. He didn’t get much attention, if any, when he was a kid. The pro heroes dedicated their lives to work and keeping the public safe; there was rarely time to kick back and relax with each other. 

He remembered poking at Endeavor once or twice, but he never showed any desire to get him back. Jeanist tended to lean on the serious side, but he had a playful bone in his body. If Hawks tried to mess with him, there was a chance he would fight back. Mirko was probably the only pro he could mess with and expect revenge from, but he never had the chance to try.

It tickled so bad. The way Dabi’s fingers vibrated against every inch of Hawks’ back, especially around his shoulder blades where he elicited the most extreme reactions, was torture. His touch was so precise, it was like he knew just what to do to drive him crazy. There was no chance to get used to any one feeling either, considering the villain would switch up his tactics every few seconds. Whether it be the amount of pressure he used, the way he moved his fingers, or the spot he tickled, every new moment provided a fresh combination to drive Hawks completely insane.

And yet, despite the fact that the number two hero had tears of mirth streaming down his bright red face, and his throat felt slightly sore from his screaming laughter, he would be lying if he said this wasn’t the least bit fun. To completely give up mercy and laugh like there was nothing to worry about was an experience Hawks never realized he needed.

“I can’t believe your back is this sensitive,”

Dabi chuckled after a while,

“Kinda makes me wonder about these pretty little wings of yours~.”

“N-NAHAHAHAHA!! C’MOHOHOHOHON, DAHAHAHAHABI! ENOHOHOHOHOUGH, PLEHEHEHEHEASE!”

“Begging already? Pathetic, especially for someone who once called himself a hero.”

The tickling ceased and Hawks gasped for air, falling limp on the floor. The villain smirked down at him. The way his disheveled hair fell over his gorgeous face, the tear streaks that marked his flushed cheeks, the residual giggles that bubbled past his bright smile. Dabi’s chest tightened, and he swallowed a lump in his throat. 

“A-Ahahare you… dohone?” Hawks asked past breathless giggles.

Dabi’s smirk returned and he chuckled evilly,

“I told you I was just getting started,”

He ran his fingers through the feathery fluff on Hawks’ wings,

“I really am curious about these~.”

Hawks jolted and his wings twitched violently, practically bucking Dabi off of him. The villain laughed in amazement and quickly regained his balance.

“Hohoholy shit! I think I found the jackpot~.”

“D-Dahahabi,” the hero laughed nervously, his wings already tingling,

“Ihihi’ve had enough, plehehease.”

“Can’t take what you dish out, huh? Too bad, I’m not done with you yet. I’ll stop when I’m ready to,”

Dabi positioned his hands on his victim’s wings, causing them to twitch again,

“Until then, you’ll lay there and take it like a good little bird.”

The shriek that escaped from Hawks was ear-piercing. He bucked and thrashed violently as Dabi dug his fingers into his wings. The villain took note of how much more of a reaction he got closer to the hero’s back. Hawks’ hysterical laughter suddenly went silent. He slammed his fists and kicked his feet against the floor, his face was engulfed in cherry red, and he couldn’t tell his tears from his sweat at this point. Words couldn’t describe just how bad it tickled. The way Dabi mercilessly dug into his feathers drove him ballistic. It was torturous, his nerves were electrified, every single movement of the villain’s fingers sent a violent jolt of ticklish agony through Hawks’ entire body.

Why did he love this feeling so much?

Hawks wasn’t sure how much time had elapsed before Dabi finally decided to have mercy. His wings were burning with residual tingles, his feathers were all ruffled from the constant tickling, and he felt like he was going to pass out at any moment. The villain chuckled and stood off of the hero, giving him a moment to recover.

“God, you’re so sensitive. If only I had known this little secret sooner. But, now that I do, I’m never letting you live it down.”

After a few moments of residual giggles, heavy breathing, and slight coughing, Hawks shakily stood up. He used the bar counter as leverage, but stumbled and almost fell back onto the floor. He grunted when he made contact with Dabi, who had moved forward to catch him. With a hum, he absentmindedly nuzzled against the villain’s chest, then finally stood on his own. Dabi decided to ignore the heat that rose to his cheeks from the gesture.

The number two hero chuckled fondly and leaned up against the counter, 

“Thahat was uhh… something. You are awful.”

“Not my fault you’re so sensitive~.”

“Can you not say it?”

Dabi frowned,

“Say what?”

“Tickle.”

The villain jolted and looked away bashfully, eyes narrowed in embarrassment,

“I don’t like saying it.”

“Why? Does it fluster you~?”

“No!” Dabi shot a glare at the hero,

“It’s just a stupid word. I hate using it, so I don’t.”

Hawks simply shrugged in response, then caught the box out of the corner of his eye. It was seated on the counter, right where Dabi had left it. He turned around and plucked one of the polaroids out of it, examining it once again. It was the group photo of the League. Dabi approached him and ripped the polaroid from his hands.

“Hey! I was lookin’ at that,” he pouted at the hot head.

“Ya shouldn’t look through other people’s stuff, bird brain,” 

Dabi punctuated his sentence with a flick to Hawks’ forehead,

“Besides, what’s in here that’s so important to you?”

The winged hero grumbled and rubbed the area, then gave Dabi a small smile,

“These photos. They’re really cute,”

He chuckled and poked Dabi’s cheek,

“Would it kill ya to smile once in a while, though?”

“Yes,” Dabi replied bluntly, smacking Hawks’ hand away.

Hawks grinned and sighed fondly. 

Silence fell over them for a few moments. Dabi reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He took one in between his teeth, and his index finger suddenly burst into a small, blue flame. He carefully lit the cigarette, then offered the pack to Hawks. 

He chuckled and shook his head,

“No, thanks. I don’t smoke.”

Dabi shrugged and stuffed the pack back into his pocket, extinguished the flame on his finger, then took the cigarette out of his mouth and wistfully breathed the smoke out.

The aura in the room was peaceful, almost like the two of them were genuine friends. A pang of guilt tugged at Hawks' heart, but he ignored it and turned to Dabi, who was staring at the polaroid. His expression was calm. 

The hero smiled, feeling melancholy, and decided to break the silence,

“So, why are you up so late?”

Dabi remained so still that Hawks almost thought he didn’t hear him. He opened his mouth to ask again, but was interrupted by the villain letting out a low, mirthless chuckle.

“I guess I couldn’t sleep, either.”

Silence reigned once more, and he took another puff of his cigarette before he continued,

“Ya ever hear of ‘the butterfly effect’, Hawks?”

The question was so sudden, Hawks gave the villain a puzzled look. After a second, he responded,

“Ah, a butterfly flaps its wings in Rio and causes a tornado in Chicago, right?”

“Correct. Though, I guess in your case, you flap your wings in Japan and cause a ripple in some other part of the world.”

“Where’s this coming from?” the hero asked, brow furrowed in confusion.

Dabi huffed sharply, and his grip on the polaroid tightened,

“Ya ever wonder where you’d be had you made one choice a bit differently?”

“I… dont–”

“Heh, never mind. That was a dumb question.”

Hawks frowned, but otherwise didn’t respond to Dabi’s sudden drop of the subject. What did he mean by that? Surely he didn’t regret becoming a villain. Granted, the winged hero had no idea what Dabi’s motivation was aside from the main goal of the League. Hero society was corrupt, he knew that was an idea they were passionate about, but…

"I'm not one for sentimental talks,"

Dabi chuckled suddenly, putting the cigarette up to his lips,

"So don't take much of what I say to heart,”

he inhaled deeply, then crushed the finished cigarette against the counter while exhaling the smoke through his nose. He flicked it across the room, then turned to look at Hawks, who had a look of befuddlement on his face.

“Do you… regret the choices you’ve made?” Hawks asked carefully.

Dabi stared at him for a moment, emotionless, before he grinned wickedly and blew the remainder of the smoke in his face,

“Do you?”

Hawks scrunched his nose and coughed, whisking away the smoke with a disgusted grunt. He then watched Dabi as he made his way out of the room, but was surprised when he turned to address the hero a final time,

“We’re even now, got that? Don’t even think of trying that shit with me again.”

With that, he disappeared deeper into the hideout. Hawks couldn’t stop the chuckle that escaped his lips. He shook his head and casually left the building, taking into the air with a swift flap of his wings. He cringed when the air hit his feathers, they still felt a bit sensitive.

As he flew back to his own home, he thought about the conversation he and Dabi just had. He didn’t know what to make of most of it. How did they go from tickling to a serious discussion about fate and paths in their own lives?

…Did he regret his own choices?

Hawks sighed and shook the thoughts out of his head. He was a hero, Dabi was a villain, and there was no way to change that. Even if there were moments where Dabi felt like a genuine human being, even if he felt like he was actually bonding with him, he couldn’t allow that to cloud his judgment. He was on a mission, and he would see it through to the end. 

His chest felt tight again.

[flower-boi16]

Hazbin Hotel Is A Show That Exists

So...after five years of waiting, Hazbin Hotel is finally out. I had very low expectations going to Hazbin - not only because of the current state of Helluva Boss (Its spin-off show) but also because of all the things I was hearing about it from people who saw the leaks - needless to say, it wasn't very positive. I was expecting this show to be a complete disaster on every single level, though deep down, I did want to be excited for this show - as I did used to briefly be a fan of Viv's work until I realized HB's MANY writing issues, so I went in with low expectations, expecting the show to be awful while deep down hoping that MAYBE It'll MAYBE end up being good. And after watching the first four episodes I can say that...

The show isn't awful nor is it that good. It's just...PAINFULLY average. In this post I'm going to give my current thoughts on HH based on the first four episodes that are currently released. Note that these are only my current thoughts on the show - there's a chance that MAYBE the show will improve in the second half of season 1. But for now, here are my current thoughts on the show:

1. The Animation & Visuals

The animation is...fine. The characters definitely look very rigged at times, but the animation is at least pleasant to look at. An issue I have is the camera work - sometimes the camera work can be VERY off at times. The show would constantly cut to different perspectives in some of the scenes and it becomes a headache to look at. It's especially bad at the beginning of the Happy Day In Hell song - where the camera looks like it's having a stroke during the sequence as it constantly cuts to different perspectives a LOT.

That being said - the camera work is mostly fine throughout the rest of the show so it's not too bad. So overall, the animation looks fine. I don't love it, but I don't hate it.

2. The Comedy

The show's comedy is...actually pretty ok. There were a few jokes that got a good laugh out of me, especially in episode 3, the episode that isn't written by Viv, so it therefore is the funniest episode of the show so far. I am surprised by the lack of sex jokes in the show which is at least a plus. That being said, a lot of the jokes in the show don't really land - mainly the ones that Angel Dust makes. So really, the comedy is OK. I don't hate it, but I also don't love it either.

3. Worldbuilding & Plot

So now let's talk about the main plot of the show as well as its world-building. Ok so the main conflict for the show is that due to someone killing an Angel during the last extermination - the exterminations are going to happen twice as fast now (6 months instead of one year). The mystery of what happened to the angel...lasts for about two episodes before we're given an answer in episode 3, and then it's just resolved like that.

Aside from that the series mostly revolves around its premise so far which is good. Alright, now lets talk about the lore and worldbuilding - basically Lucifer used to be an angel in Hevean but was seen as a trouble maker and Adam demanded that Lilith fuck him (or something Idk Idr) and Lucifer and Lilith fell in love blah blah blah Lucifer gave an apple to his new lover Eve blah blah blah the apple was cursed blah blah blah the apple created hell blah blah blah It sent evil to the world and Hevean was pissed about that so they banished them to hell blah blah blah Lucifer became sad blah blah blah Lilith didn't blah blah blah Hevean started doing exterminations because they were afraid of Hell's power.

(Semi-accurate description of the opening exposition dump). Ok so a few things; 1) I already asked this in another post but why did Hell never choose to fight back against Heaven when Heaven shouldn't have any power over hell because Hell was a realm created by Lucifer? Also, why does Heaven even have any power over Hell to begin with? and 2) So Heaven is eeeevil now and is going to kill all of Hell. Like I already said, it would have been more interesting if Heaven wasn't evil, and it also would've been better than this Hevean v Hell war we're probably going to get in the finale.

They even changed the reasoning to why Heaven started doing the exterminations, instead of it being because of an overpopulation problem now it's because Heaven was afraid of Hell's power...

...which contradicts the pilot which is canon to the series. But then the show just goes back to the overpopulation problem as the reason for the exterminations???? Like??? Which is it, is it because Heaven is evil or because of an overpopulation problem??? PICK ONE!!!

Hell is also kinda boring of a setting, it's just our world except red. That's it. So the lore and worldbuilding is kinda eh, Heaven is just evil cuz ofc it is and the lore has some problems. Its funny to how one of the lyrics of Adam's big villain song is "its all black and white", and since Adam is the bad guy and Charlie's goal is to redeem sinners, the show is trying to go for a "it's NOT black and white" message, but that's kinda ironic considering that this Heaven/Hell conflict is very black and white in it of itself; Hell good Heaven evil. That's it. Not saying black-and-white conflicts with a good guy and a bad guy are bad, most shows can make them work and be interesting, but Heaven would have been more interesting if it wasn't evil, at least IMO.

4. The Voice Actors

A lot of the discourse surrounding Hazbin until its release was the new voice actors. Let me just say I don't dislike the voice actors here; I think they are fine and they fit the characters decently well. Their singing is also decent as well. So I don't dislike any of the voices, they are fine for the most part and fit decently well with the characters.

5. The Songs

The songs so far are...fine. If there was one thing that HB consistently got right, it was the songs. Even if I dislike HB, the songs are actually pretty good (for the most part...). Hazbin's songs are...decent. There aren't any songs that I can say are bad, though I have some issues with the show's music; mainly the fact that the show sometimes shoves in songs...for the sake of having a song.

If you want to make a musical with songs you need to make sure each song has a distinct purpose for the story; take "Part of Your World" from The Little Mermaid. Before this song, it's pretty easy to infer that Ariel has an interest in the surface world - with her collecting human stuff and all. But the song further shows us her desire to see the surface - to see what it's like above water. It shows her desire to see the surface in the form of a song - it has a purpose within the story because it tells you something about the character.

Hazbin Hotel meanwhile sometimes has a problem when it comes to shoving in songs for the sake of meeting the song quota; the two biggest examples are "Hell is Forever" and "Respectless", as well as "Whatever It Takes". These songs are all completely unnecessary and they give us information that could have been communicated through simple dialogue rather than characters bursting out singing.

"Respectless" in particular feels less like a song and more like the characters just...singing a conversation with each other. The song is completely unnecessary and is just there to fill the song quota per episode. None of the songs I've mentioned are necessarily bad, but they suffer from being unneeded (HB also sometimes has this problem in season 2 mainly in episodes 3, 4, and 7).

Aside from that issue - the songs are...fine. None of them are bad but some of them are kinda useless and don't serve much of a purpose. I at least liked Happy Day in Hell and Poison, aside from that most of the songs are...ok. I just don't find most of them that memorable.

6. The Characters

Now, let's talk about the characters. First I'll talk about the main cast then the villains.

Charlie - I think Charlie's...fine. I always like overly positive and happy characters for protagonists so I was going to like Charlie anyway. She's fine; she's easy to root for and she's likable enough.

Vaggie - Vaggie's also fine. I do like her snark in episode 3, but aside from that there isn't much that interesting about her.

Nifty - Nifty's cute. Nifty's funny. I like Nifty.

Angel Dust - sigh Ok so I didn't like Angel Dust in episode 1 because of the fact he was another character whose one character trait is being excessively horny. And I also find all his jokes painfully unfunny. I'm not really in a position to judge how well his abuse from Val was handled so since I held a poll asking SA victim's thoughts on episode 4 and most of them voted no I'll just say that they didn't handle it very well and move on. So ya don't care for Angel Dust.

Alastor - Ah yes the creepy radio demon. He's also fine, I like his whole style and stuff.

Husk - Husk's whole purpose in the first three episodes is pretty much just to be pissed off at stuff, I kinda liked the scene where he talked to Angel Dust in episode 4 but aside from that, Husk is kinda just..fine...like everyone in this main cast.

Now let's talk about the villains so far!

Adam - Don't care for him. Sigh look Adam could be an entertaining villain but so far his dialogue and jokes are just painfully unfunny and I don't care for him as a villain. I could talk about his sidekick whose name I forgot but she's gotten so little screen time I can't form an opinion on her yet.

Also isn't it funny how HH was meant to be a female-focused show yet the males get more focus so far (As I've already talked about)? Ya, I thought so too. Anyways, the characters are...fine. I don't hate any of them, but I also don't really love any of them either. None of them are that interesting so far to me.

That's pretty much what I can say about everything in this show so far; I don't hate the animation but I don't love it either, I don't hate the comedy but I don't love it either, I don't hate the songs but I don't love them either, I don't hate any of the characters but I don't love them either.

7. Conclusion

So, that's my current thoughts on HH based on the first four episodes. Well...it's certainly a show that I watched. It's amazing to me how a show could be so consistently painfully average in pretty much EVERYTHING, from the animation to the songs to the comedy to the characters, to the episodes themselves, Hazbin Hotel is the most painfully average show I've watched so far. It's not bad so far, but it isn't good either. Again, maybe the show will improve when the latter half of season 1 comes out...

...or it will just get worse. I'm expecting the latter unfortunately due to the trailers making it look like there's going to be a Heaven/Hell war which means the show is probably going to abandon its premise like its spin-off (...that came before the main show was released). But ya, Hazbin Hotel is painfully average so far, probably a 6/10 so far, expecting the show to probably get worse, goodbye.

[higherthanvic]

PAINTER!GETOU HC'S.

first post! enjoy a few (n)sfw headcanons of a AU that has taken over me. minors, SHOO!

this was written with a black reader in mind btw !

SFW.

painter!getou is a worldwide known artist for his wonderful use of symbolism and meaning behind each piece he curates in the comfort of his studio apartment that he has the pleasure of sharing with his muse and symbolism expert; you.

muse!reader is the overall inspiration for each piece and reason why he loves what he does for a living. you make his painting career so eventful, and he can't find the words nor actions to thank you enough.

painter!getou takes your suggestions and thoughts when it comes to anything. when it comes to painting, you help him try to broaden and emphasize what message he wants to come across with your knowledge of symbolism. you both work as a team; getou with the artistry, the muse with the knowledge and explanation.

"wait, how about you add red to this? i get the message and everything, but the red would make it more obvious of what you're trying to say. red can mean passion, en-" quickly pours out red paint as she talks

every painting painter!getou curates has to have a certain part of the drawing involving you. if it isnt your actual full body on the piece, there's always something in the background that he puts in. when the piece finally gets published into art shows, its like a guessing game to find out which part of the piece is symbolizing you before you get getou to tell you (which you're mostly right at times).

painter!getou secretly loves when you draw on his canvases just so he can keep each drawing in the final piece, he just gets "mad" for no reason.

"wait, baby... aren't those the hearts I drew on the corner of the canvas?" "mhm, what about them?" "why'd you keep them?" "i...forgot."

painter!getou bought you your own plush lounge chair when it came to posing for him so you didn't get too uncomfortable to stay in the same position for too long.

after you suggested that he should try to light incense around the apartment to help set the mood for painting, painter!getou never paints without incense lit and warm lighting dimly lit in the living room.

"sweetheart, can you grab the open box of incense in the kitchen? i need to start this commission." "you know you don't have to light them everytime you paint-" "they make me feel relaxed."

painter!getou adores the way you get so excited and run to your lounge chair when he asks if he could use you for a piece idea. your smile lightens up the entire room, and he cant help but smile back.

you two have "dates" almost every weekend + Friday. whether you go out for a movie, dinner, make a pillow fort, or just spend quality time with each other, you always insist on calling it a date when painter!getou just says its just spending quality time.

"i call it a date because we're together and doing fun stuff together!" "so are painting nights not fun?" "that's different. that's for work."

NSFW.

since painter!getou works from home instead of in an office, you have to leave during the day to attend your corporate job even after getou insisted on helping you financially instead of you leaving his side every morning. during these few hours of your absence, he can't help but think of you. stroking his cock as he reminisces about your nude body sprawled out on the lounge chair you pose on, getting your pussy drilled into continuously as the finished canvas dried. there were also a few times he jerked off to his own pieces of your nude body, but never told you that.

painter!getou adores forcing you to look at yourself in the mirror as he fucks you senseless. he wanted you to see what he saw in you for yourself.

painter!getou is POSSESIVE AS HELL!!! he understands that people might find the anonymous person on his pieces sexy because she's nude, but all he cares about is that you come home to him at the end of the day. you come home and gag on his cock delightfully before you both continue with your day.

painter!getou doesn't just like cumming inside of you. he adores the way his warm liquid drapes across your face or stomach. it makes him feel like he's making a masterpiece on a canvas all over again.

painter!getou's position that makes him the most weak in the knees ever since being with you: cowgirl. the way he can see your entire figure all out for display and bouncing so quickly on his cock sends him into a spiral.

[canaidliafail]

invite

ellie williams x f!reader 🌿

[ part 2 ]

Ellie invites you to a party which she comes all ready and strapped up for.

proof read by God and a prayer so Ill provide some holy water as an apology. so….theres mostly sexual tension but let me know if you want me to write a part two. idk. Was heavily self indulgent but if you enjoy it Ill be happy to know so

2k words

MDI

“what?” she laughed getting all coy and shy with you, her shoulders slightly rising to hide her face

“You look really pretty” you smiled and reached out to fix a stray hair that fell in her face neatly tucking it behind her ear

“Oh shut up” she said and gently shoved your shoulder. You pushed yourself away from the fence and walked back into the house writing down your entry

3 runners

1 clicker

Was a good day overall. You looked up to see her walk in, a hand around the nape of her neck while she looked anywhere but at you

“Yes, williams?” you teased

“We are having a party tonight. Will you join?”

“hm…” you pursed your lips and turned to lean against the table fiddling with the pen in your hand, tossing and turning it in your fingers

“Who’s we?” you asked playfully and she rolled her eyes

“Well Dina, and jesse and-“

she went on trying to remember and list every possible person who would come and you had to laugh at how seriously she took everything you said

“I'll come. Not for long since I'm out on patrol early tomorrow but I'll join you for a bit” you said and turned back to the book log to note down some notes.

Ellie looked your figure up and down. You insisted on wearing shorts over thick leggings for practicality though she knew you did it cause they accentuated your ass shape better than jeans. Your puffed up jacket with its fur giving you a positively roguish look and those dirty old combat boots

Rare to see a fashionista these days. At first it drove her insane

“You've gotta be shitting me. I'm not going on patrol with her” she tried to pull every string without getting anywhere till she settled on that well, some days just don't go your way

so she rode shimmer and let you take the lead being always a few steps behind. That was until she saw you in combat. Oh you know what stealth meant and you wielded that bow with a hawk's eye. Nothing could get past you

and that's when she understood that you dressed whichever way pleased you, because you were just that confident in your skills.

God she loved everything about you. Too much almost. It took her a good few months to come to terms with it but once she did she found herself looking at you like a lovesick puppy.

suddenly all those girl-ish things she hated became endearing and she was excited to see your name next to hers on schedule the same way she was boiling with rage when she saw you paired up with someone else.

“williams?” she snapped out of her thoughts and looked at you again standing a few inches away from her

“Ah there you are. Were you thinking of tits again?” You teased and Ellie gasped and frowned in shock unable to get used to your vulgar tone and freedom of lewd speech

“Shut up”

“what no shame in it. I do it all the time” you tossed the hint and she latched onto it harder than she held onto life these days.

She does too?

and that's when she bit her lip, ravenous. She was going to make a move at the party and she was going to make it matter

•••

You've had your eyes set on Williams for a while now. Ever since she dated that artist girl that gave her,her tattoo. You were content admiring her from the side as some unattainable type of college crush. Made your mornings fun and gave you something to think about occasionally.

That was until she broke up and you slowly noticed how she gave you more and more attention. How her scoffs turned into chuckles and her frown turned into soft wrinkles around her eyes when she laughed at your poor taste in jokes

You never knew that this is what it felt like to be noticed by her, because it was something else. The first time you wore shorts out on patrol was an accident. You overslept due to a date leading to an eventful night and so you left the house in a hurry. You played it off with false confidence acting as if you intended to look that way out on patrol but once you saw how ellies eyes were fixated on your thighs and ass, oh boy did that change the game.

She didn't say much but her eyes were devouring you out in the open. That night you were painfully aroused and wet and a one night stand seemed like a fruitless attempt to quench your thirst. tonight you prayed that the reason she invited you over to hangout with her friends was due to an ulterior motive

You wore a skirt you had attempted to re-style by mixing the fabric of your exs cargo pants and tucked in a baggy T giving you the effortless look you always strived to achieve . You'd have to be hung upside down and burned before you admitted to anyone how much time you spent on your appearance and how much it actually mattered to you.

with one final look you tested out your movements and expressions in front of your mirror to make sure nothing fell out of line and grabbed your backpack. You reached the house at the far end of the town and knocked. Dina greeted you with that warm smile she always gave everyone

she whistles and gave you a side hug “You have a way of making everyone stop to look at you” you chuckled “Oh you flatter me”

she took you downstairs to the basement where the true party was happening. Music, drinks and lights coming out of the fog from the weed. Oh Ellie really did mean a party.

“Come , make yourself comfortable. Think ellie is pouring herself another drink over there” she said and gave you a knowing look which you couldn’t entirely grasp considering you had barely talked with the woman before

You didn’t even want to know where the hell did they find all of these supplies or who and what they traded them for but you sure as hell was going to enjoy it all. You took your time greeting everyone, stopping a bit longer with a few to exchange more than a greeting and rushing your way through the ones you ghosted after a one night stand finally reaching your destination. The table with the drinks. You started pouring yourself one when you felt a very familiar set of arms wrap around your waist

“You did come!” you smiled, your cheeks heating up realizing how close to your face, ellies was. you turned around with an easy smile and cocked a brow

“Well how could I miss it?” You scanned her outfit and your eyes stayed a moment too long on her pants noticing how baggy they were, and then the rolled up sleeves of her oversized hoodie. Oh this was an entirely different Ellie

“What?” she said with a soft frown “Something about my looks?” she questioned and her head dropped to scan her clothes. You shook your head

“No. You look different. That's all” hot, would be the correct word but you restrained from coming on too strong this soon. You still were unsure of her intentions after all

“Well like a good different or..?” she tried and took a step closer one arm on the table leaning against you and surprisingly towering over you slightly. your throat was dry and you were sure the bass held nothing against the beating of your heart.

“Wouldn't you like to know” was the best you could say your voice not as confident as you wanted it to sound but she seemed more than pleased with what she got out of you. She pulled out a joint out of her pocket and tucked it behind her ear

“Ellie, you coming?”

“Yeah on my way” she said, not breaking eye contact with you. She pushed herself away from the table and with a smirk winked at you “I'll see you around” and went Dinas way to see what she needed.

You breathed out a sigh of relief and downed whatever you had poured in your cup in an attempt to gather yourself together. Oh this would be difficult

——

Card games weren't your forte so you settled for a quick round of beer pong, which mind you, hardly any of the cups contained beer alone. One round after the other and now you found yourself with enough confidence to join some other girls dancing to the music and lip syncing with them. It had been a while since you let loose like that and so you gave it your all trying to ignore the gnawing fear of the fact that Ellie was nowhere to be seen. You wondered if she had found someone else for the night and thus changed her plans of pursuing you. So you just did what you knew how to do best

Ignore your problems

The girl in front of you seemed cute enough to make a pass at and she did seem like she was expecting something more out of you given how she had her arms around your neck and grinder her hips against yours. You acted oblivious,indulging her provocative dance with moves of your own knowing that perhaps you were the main attraction of everyone else in the room at that moment. Not that it mattered. Half of these fuckers were zooted out of their minds probably, high on crappy weed or questionable alcohol.

She whispered in your ear calling you by your last name “You are gonna make a move or are you just gonna keep me high and dry all night?” And you barked a laugh not ready for a response, that thankfully you didn't have to give when you were yanked back from your waist by the star of the night

Ellie

“Sorry I think she had a little too much to drink” she said with a smile but her tone was more of a threat than anything. You glared at her for a moment unsure of why you were angry as she dragged you away by your waist and leaned against the wall

“Can I go now?” You tried but she pulled your body closer, your back flush against her chest. You found out a very dangerous piece of information in that second as your ass found her hips that should have been flat. But there was a delicious bump.

She came strapped

You turned in her embrace and realized if there was anyone who may have been drunk and needed fresh air that was her. Her lips were parted as she stared at you contemplating something seemingly lost in her own moment.

“Wanna go out for some fresh air?” You offered and she nodded, grabbing your hand and taking you out of the basement to the backyard. She looked around at the misty empty space and walked to one of the couches still not letting go of your wrist. She sat down and pulled you with no hesitation on your lap “So who was that girl?” She questioned you immediately, a slight warning in her tone that you ate up right away

“Ah, she was cute wasnt she?” You teased liking the idea that you made her jealous. Hell she had abandoned you for most of the night so you might as well take your revenge now

“Is that what you think?” She asked brows raised accepting your challenge. You knew she had the upper hand in this but you wouldn't dare let her know that

“I do, which is why I’m upset at you for so rudely interrupting us. Where the hell were you anyways, Williams?” You asked hoping your voice gave the jab that it intended and she just smirked pulling out the unsmoked blunt that was tucked on her ear

“Then by all means, you can go back in, dance and grind the night away” You felt like you would cry. This would be the first time a woman would’ve brought you to tears so fast and so quick but that thought faded away like smoke “Or…” she added

You quickly made yourself comfortable in her lap,sitting sideways,legs tossed over the armchair, excitement bubbling in your chest once again

“Or?” You urged her to continue and she took her damn sweet time lighting up the blunt and taking a long fat drag that she breathed out in endless waves and ripples from the side of her lips “Or you can stay here, and find out when being with a woman really is about” She said with booming confidence. Thank God you were seated cause your knees would’ve given out on you right then and there. She passed you the blunt like she was asking you to sign an agreement of choosing sides and you grabbed it,no hesitation to be found

“You sure do know how to make a girl feel special” You tried to hide how flustered you were and hoped your remark would avert her attention away from your thighs that you tried to close tighter to provide some kind of friction, or comfort to your aching now core

“Am I wrong though?” She continued and you stared at her long and hard while taking another drag and passing her the blunt again

“Wrong about what?” You felt dumb but you were glad to see her entertained

“You want me. It's why you’re here so willingly sitting on my lap. You never gave a fuck about that girl in the first place” She said reading right through you

“I-“ your throat was dry and your cheeks were burning. She moved her face closer to yours,one arm very loosely hanging around your shoulder, scratching leisurely at your back making you shiver. She cocked her head to the side slowly and her eyes fell on your lips.

“I knew your bark was worse than your bite” She said with affection almost and pulled you in for a long and hard kiss

Ellie was a good kisser you realized. Your mind strayed quickly wondering if she could eat you out that skillfully as well as she moved her tongue and lips on yours with such passion and hunger that made you elicit the most whorish and loud moans,drowned out by her mouth.

You have never been more turned on by this act alone yet you quickly switched positions and turned around to fully sit on her lap,legs on either side of her thighs, dry humping her crotch and grasping at her cropped hair needing more, not wanting to ever break away from this kiss. She ushered you further by bringing your hips even closer to the point where you were perfectly seated against her clothed strap on.

You whimpered and she pulled away for a second panting and looking down with a soft smile “somethings wrong?” You asked suddenly insecure and uncertain of what happened and she just shook your head “No just, You drive me crazy” She growled and dove back for another kiss determined to pull out more of those lovely sounds you made. She experimentally thrusted her hips up that made you gasp out loud breaking the kiss “I have to know” you tried to say between the continuous kisses that ellie showered you with “hm?” She asked not breaking contact from your skin and nibbling on your neck now, bruising it,decorating it with bite marks.

“Why did you come strapped? Who were you after?”

And she laughed, laying further down,her spine against the tilted back of the couch and with you almost laying on top of her. She spread her legs further and in queue you did so as well, almost whining at the loss of friction.

“Oh I knew I wanted to fuck you from the second I gave you that invite today morning”

She roughly bit your neck now and you moaned,loud and clear,praying that no one was at the upper floor of the house cause they would’ve surely heard that

“In fact I wanted to bend you over that table and take you then and there but I wanted to do this right. To be slow and gentle” she whispered against your skin, her fingers slipping beneath your hoodie and teasing the hem of your bra not quite giving you the much needed release from the desired contact.

“But fuck do you make it difficult for me to hold back”

She hissed and her hips, grinding against yours with more fervor than before as she went in for another open mouthed kiss, her velvet tongue stroking yours, almost spelling out her name, claiming you as hers.

“We can go slow from tomorrow” you said panting unable to bear any more teasing“Today I want you to fuck me like the animal in heat that you are Williams” You said and she grabbed your hair turning the two of you around in the couch with her on top of you and kicked your legs open

“Oh I will”

[caustinen]

Let’s create a “clegan/buckxbucky/buckyxbuck/eganven/whatever we call the buckies” playlist together.

🎶 🛫 When you get this, list 5 songs you like to listen that remind you of Clegan (MOTA) and publish them. Then send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (positivity is cool) (@onyxsboxes so i can add your replies to the playlist) 🛫 🎶

You can include more or fewer songs (as you prefer), I'll collect all the replies and put them together in a playlist that I'll share in a week or so (I'll update it as I receive replies, so no rush and no pressure).

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS & sorry in advance, i am a music lover first and a person second so i can’t not be intense about this despite having chosen mostly super cheesy songs!!

if i needed someone (the beatles)

if I needed someone to love / you're the one that I'd be thinking of / if I needed someone / if I had some more time to spend / then I guess I'd be with you, my friend / if I needed someone / had you come some other day / then it might not have been like this / but you see now I'm too much in love

there were so many beatles songs i considered since they wrote so extensively on many sides of love, but rather than going with my first obvious choice “if i fell” i thought this was a good song when thinking about them meeting, especially from gale pov! the cheeky way to phrase this, “i’m a very independent person and quite busy too btw BUT if i were to need someone in my life you’d probably be the person”, just that slow process of falling for a friend when the butterflies in your tummy start changing little by little, you smile a little wider any time you see your person, but you’re maybe not quite ready to admit it to even yourself yet, but in soft moments you might slip something like “the last few years would’ve been a lot rougher without you… bro”

2. standing next to you (jungkook)

Stop, can you feel that? / It's like Heaven and Earth moves whenever we touch // The universe approves when you and I dance // They can't deny our love / They can't divide us / We'll survive the test of time / I swear that I'll be right here / Standing next to you

this is fun, sexy pop perfect for the moment when they eventually do stop dancing around each other, that first love bubble of excitement of each touch and kiss and just being close to someone <3 but also the “standing next to you” sentiment is so good when thinking of even particular scenes in the show and overall how they’re able to show their love in public in fics too, just standing close to someone when you’re aching to feel.... also everytime a song mentions dancing it's in my clegan list

3. ocean eyes (billie eilish)

I've been watchin' you for some time / Can't stop starin' at those ocean eyes / Burning cities and napalm skies / Fifteen flares inside those ocean eyes / Your ocean eyes // I've been walkin' through a world gone blind / Can't stop thinkin' of your diamond mind / Careful creature made friends with time // I'm scared / I've never fallen from quite this high / Fallin' into your ocean eyes / Those ocean eyes

idk if this even needs explanation, i think the blue ocean eyes are a stable of this fandom and this also serves again as a perfect bridge from the previous songs as the flirty love bubble morphs into real feelings, almost scary in their intensity

4. falling away with you (muse)

So I'll love whatever you become / And forget the reckless things we've done / I think our lives have just begun / I think our lives have just begun / And I'll feel my world crumbling / I'll feel my life crumbling / I'll feel my soul crumbling away / And falling away / Falling away with you / Staying awake to chase a dream / Tasting the air you're breathing in / I hope I won't forget a thing

This could be a stalag/immedieate post-war song, i mean the whole song is so sad but these parts in particular are talking so beautifully about overcoming difficulties, loving someone when you know you can’t fix them and you might be a little broken too but for now the love in itself will be enough, will have to be enough to get your through the worst and then you can start to reasses where to go from there

5. exist for love (AURORA)

And then you take me in / And everything in me begins to feel like I belong / Like everybody needs a home / And when I take your hand / Like the world has never held a man / I know I cannot heal the hurt / But I will hold you here forever / If I can, if I can / And then I learned the truth / How everything good in life seems to lead back to you / And every single time I run into your arms / I feel like I exist for love / Like I exist for love / Only for love

Because I’m a hopeless romantic i needed to end it here, this is probably the most overly sweet n hearteyed song ever made but it fits them perfectly and in this small narrative over these songs i want them to always end up here bc real life sucks and i seek happiness from fiction

+ sata vuotta / hundred years (behm)

i know you asked for five but this finnish song just fit for them perfectly, especially since i’ve been reading @joeyalohadream cooler fic part two as a bedtime read for the past few nights and been in my feelings (you’re absolutely phenomenal writer and I adore your work!!) so i wanted to add this, but figured it probably wouldn’t make any playlist since the lyrics are the oof of it… I did a quick partial translation for the first part:

I’m sure that just with your eyes / You could make the sky itself fall down / And all the birds find their way to Eden / I might be losing my mind / When I find myself running after you to the hallway / Just to see your shadow for a moment more / And if you felt like drowning / I would give you my lungs / So you could breathe / If you let me / I’ll hold your hand tight / For a hundred years at least / But even that wouldn’t be long enough / No one else can make me promise them / Hundred years of my time, at least / And if you’d be okay with it, even longer than that

(there were so many finnish songs i realized fit them PERFECTLY but idk if it’s okay to spam them in this context, maybe some other time)

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU i love yapping about music and clegan so this was a dream way to start my day!!

[makuzume]

Genshin Men Texting Their s/o Headcannons (Part 2)

Characters: Alhaitam, Zhongli, Cyno, Thoma, Lyney

Content: Gn! Reader; Genshin AU; established relationship

[Masterlist] [Part 1]

💚Alhaitam💚

Surprisingly, he's not as cold and distant as how he's often made out to be. In texts, his feelings and exact thoughts (positive or negative) are always expressed clearly and straightforward. 'I surprisingly found it really fun, we can go back again next time' or 'it could've been better, but I honestly didn't mind. We can try somewhere else you like next time' Still, he's not much of a texter in general, so he doesn't message much, though he always replies with his full attention when you send him a text.

His replies always come to you within just a few minutes: not too quick to respond but not long too either, just the right amount of time.

Alhaitam isn't one to talk much about his day in texts, he's just not much of a fan of texting in general and he mostly focuses on work during his office hours.

He most definitely prefers to talk in person once he comes home to you, so he can see/hear you express your thoughts better and more efficiently. Though if he can't see you that night, he would still let you know about his day through texts after work or, preferably, a call.

If you send him some video links you'd have to wait by the end of the day/during his break before he goes back to it. Alhaitam would prefer to view the things you send him when he's in his 'relaxed mode'. He also takes mental notes on the things you send as a reference to understanding more about the things you like or things you'd find interesting.

Though, he might get a bit overwhelmed if you send your entire feed of 100 links a day, so make sure to not send too many at a time.

Alhaitam can easily pick up on your texting patterns and know when you're feeling down. He'll ask about what's wrong right away 'is there something wrong? It seems like your mood's a little down. You can tell me, what's been bothering you?' though if you just say 'it's nothing' after he kept asking, he'll just say 'okay, I'll see you later when I get home then.' But then he'll find the time to leave work early to take you to your favorite food place, saying that it's because he didn't want you to have an upset feeling before you sleep.

🧡Zhongli🧡

He texts in the exact same way on how you would expect him to speak in person: refined but friendly. Though, when it comes to you, of course there would be a touch of sweetness to his tone when he messages you. (only you) Actually a bit of a boomer in texting.

Though there's nothing special that he specifically does to his messages, there just seems to always be this delightful tone when you read his texts. You don't know how to describe it, it's just his overall vibe.

He absolutely enjoys reading your messages as you endlessly babble about practically anything. Zhongli would definitely find anything you do to be endearing.

Though if you're less on the chatty side, don't worry, Zhongli can definitely pack up endless stories for you. Ranging from mundane events to grand, historical ones- Zhongli would know which ones you would definitely find interesting. (And would know the right amount to share which wouldn't feel too intimidating or overwhelming for you)

Typically replies quickly since he's taking it easy in the retired life, now only working as a simple consultant. (He has all day)

If you send him links to videos, memes, and articles, he would be very much excited to engage a conversation with the things you sent him. It doesn't matter how much you send, Zhongli would find them very interesting and enthusiastically respond with his thoughts on every single one of it. 'A picnic by the lake sounds like a splendid idea indeed, my dearest. I'll prepare the necessary arrangements needed for a trip to the mountains. And you needn't worry about the snacks, my expertise don't just simply lie within understanding history and antiques.' Afterall, these are things that describe you and your interests.

💜Cyno💜

Only one way to describe this man: a millenial dad with broken humor. He will text with you a lot of his dad jokes, and sometimes, he takes it so far as to planning exactly when he'll send you that text.

His texts look dry and serious, but don't get him wrong, he absolutely loves it when you text him, you're his favorite person to talk and listen to. He is just naturally monotone-sounding. He's actually not even serious at all. (More unserious than any of these men)

Random texting about things he's up to, gossip, or random facts he learned about practically anything. (Similar to Itto but a different flavor)

Might use emojis every now and then but they don't match his statement. It's amusing to read though, as it sort of matches the spontaneous personality he has under that serious facade 'im hungry and craving tacos so much that i will resort to eating my own hand by 1pm🦧'

When it comes to explaining some lore from a series or mechanics about a game (basically anything he could geek about) expect the longest paragraphs you'll ever recieve from anyone, ever. I'm talking about an in-depth thesis essay about why his deck of Sucrose, Mona, and Jean are the best for his TCG tournament and how he will use them during battle- all sent into a single message. (It took him an hour to reply because of this)

Easily picks up if you're not in high spirits and instantly gives you all of his attention and concern. Will ask how you feel and comfort you, asking what he can do to help make you feel better.

When this happens, he will be texting you the entire time, listening to you and comforting you as you talk, but then all of a sudden you get a random reply from him 'you locked your door. I mean thats a good thing that you do but can you please open it. Its raining really hard right now im soaked.' You open the door to see him drenched with a straight face on, holding a plastic bag 'I got you some chips'

He sends you memes a lot. His instict is to immediately send you anything he finds remotely funny.

In random times of the day, you'll get an out of context message that confuses you, only to realize it was actually a joke.

'Where are you?'

'I'm at home, why?'

'Theres a poster of you here and i thought someone reported you missing'

'Huh?? I'm not? I'm where you last saw me. What poster??

*sends you his low quality drawing*

'I'm blocking you.'

'You get it? Its hillarious right? You see i purposefully held back from explaining my first statement right away so that it would leave you in a state of confusion. Then after that i further timed to-'

❤️Thoma❤️

Absolutely expressive in texts. Definitely screaming golden retriever vibes. Even calls you all sorts of cute pet names. The sweetest cutie-patotie.

He often uses emojis, exclamation marks, stickers, and even loves customizing your nicknames and chat backgrounds.

Loves to type verbal expressions like 'awww' 'hehe' 'huhu'. Definitely expressive in how he feels.

Always a man of reassurance and feeding you with constant words of affirmation about his affection and appreciation towards you. And it's not just hollow words, he expresses them through his actions too.

Thoma bookmarks everything you send to him and will think it would be a good idea to do for the future. (For your birthday, christmas, monthsary, or any special ocassion) and he actually keeps everything you mentioned you like or mention in his notes app (he doesn't let you take a peep at it, but you just know it's more organized than anything in your drawer)

The type to always be ready to send you a long, sweet message at 12:00 AM when it's a special date for you/the both of you.

Always asks how you're doing and checking in on your well-being. The sweetest boy to have ever existed.

Eventually develops the same texting pattern and humor as you overtime. Especially based on the memes and other things you send him.

Will ask you where you are every now and then before lunch time saying: 'Hey love, where are you right now? I brought you some lunch, i hope I'm not late, am I?? You haven't gone out to eat yet? Huhu. I cooked you a bento meal filled with your favoritess~😊❤️'

❤️Lyney❤️

Always cheerful and enthusiastic. He definitely always has a bit of a flirty tone when he texts you, hoping to make you smile and giddy because of him.

Even though he often uses his charismatic facade to charm everybody (since it's common for a magician), you know his flirtatious tone towards you is Lyney actually being flirty with you. Genuinely. He loves being all romantic with you.

Often talks about his siblings either like a proud or concerned father. (They are practically the same age)

Likes to send you some tricks that can be done through the phone/over a call since he can't perform new magic tricks for you in person, that time.

Lyney loves showing off his charm to woo you, it makes him feel happy to know if his efforts to make you giddy are successful, so please acknowledge it, and don't tell him it's not working or it's cringe through texts (it's harder for him to read your tone and expression), it'll make him really embarassed and lose his confidence, might make the poor thing a tiny bit insecure.

Once you mention you're feeling down or if you encounter a problem, he'd immeditely turn into concern and drop everything he's doing, only being able to think about you and how to help you. Though he tries not to show it, his concern for you grows big enough as if it became even his problem. (Sometimes it ended up that Lyney became the one who was more worried). He just grew up having to strongly care about his family, and to him, you are like family too (a partner sort of family)

'Where are you right now?? Do you still feel a bit upset??'

'Don't worry, I'll come to you right away. Please just give me a few minutes, I promise I'll be quick.'

'Do you want some ice cream or some snacks? I'll buy some on the way'

'Nevermind, I just bought both of it and a few other things you might want. I hope you're alright over there.'

'Hey, I'm sorry I'm taking so long, the road was blocked so I took the other way, I'm hurrying right now.'

'I know it's only been 10 minutes but I can't help but worry for you okay? I'm really close by now. I'll see you in a bit.'

[Note: Slowly, my works are finally escaping the drafts >:D]

Check out my other works [Masterlist]

[georgegraphys]

Warning: Self analysis, might be biased, personal thoughts

Everything wrong with Mercedes' social media team (+ PR)

Before this, I just wanted to acknowledge how hard they've been working as a team in such a tough position, dealing with the hates, etc. I perfectly understand that every team has different ways of social media management and PR strategy that can't be compared to one another. But I feel like I need to talk about what are the things I felt wrong and maybe give some of my thoughts or insights with it.

1. Content

Okay. I've talked about this before and anon said "They might be forced or ordered to make such contents. This and that yadda yadda and in the end they may not have much choices to make except follow their superiors" I just wanna yes. Yes it could be like that but let's talk about the overall content that has been put out now.

Objectively speaking, Mercedes' social media team's achilles heel is probably the fact that they could not force one party to do the same amount of social media PR as George does. It is perfectly understandable that LH might not want to do those things because as you age or progress in some sport, you get tired of doing those PR shits and I don't blame him. It is tiring and sometimes stressful.

But I also feel like there is a lack of creativity? and I don't know where it came from. Could be from themselves, being too lenient and relaxed for the past few years because they're drowning in success and fame and did not feel the need to expand more in terms of social media strategies OR they could be restricted by their superiors too which is understandable. It is also important to note that these things might happen because all these times, Mercedes fans are mostly there for one person so as time goes on, the team starts making contents that are specific only to that niche. And they might not feel the need to branch out of there to attract general team fans outside of that niche, which explains why some might call Mercedes' contents cringe, boring, etc.

Before George, I feel like none of the drivers are open to doing friendly contents to what other teams did. It's fine since it could be counter measured by lots of other strategies but again, they didn't and the reason for it could be lack of willingness or creativity or superior words. Ever since George came, they started picking up those trends and contents to do with George and that honestly helps because George is really PR flexible to those contents but at one point, it ended up not being too useful as the effort was kind of one-sided. These kinds of things had to be a collective effort from both sides.

I do not blame any of the drivers. The other one might feel fed up or just want to relax without having to do that stupid BS (It is tiring). I just feel like Mercedes could've handled that better with better strategies but they either let it happened or it was the superiors that were in the way of improvements or something. I don't know about that but it could definitely be handled better

I had hopes for 2025. Hopefully, with the new line up, we could see a fresher side of Mercedes AMG Petronas F1 Team in terms of PR and social media strategy than what has happened in the past years. It would totally be exciting to see how the social media team and PR team would work with the new driver in 2025.

2. The involvement of the reserve drivers and juniors.

Mick Schumacher, ever since he entered the team as a reserve driver in 2023, has helped a lot in content making. He lessen George's burden a lot and i'm very thankful for his involvement and how he has been such a great guy in Mercedes' PR ways. He even participated on some PR campaigns like those of Monster Energy and Tommy Hilfiger.

But as there is a new reserve driver now in 2024 which is Frederik Vesti. I feel like Fred should be pushed equally like Mick does. No hate or anything but the team b&w photoshoots for example. I'm pretty sure at that moment, they are aware already of Fred becoming the new reserve driver but my question stands in "why is he not participating in those stuff?" like photoshoots or content making. And this is not only social media team's work but also PR team.

I feel like Fred should be included equally. Photoshoots, interviews, contents or whatever it is. I feel like now that they have two reserve drivers, they should work on equally treating them. I am perfectly aware that they are working on Fred slowly and consistently (hope that continues) but I do hope Fred got the chance to participate more in the future. And that would not just be advantageous for Fred but also for Mercedes because more people=more fame 🤣🤣.

And for the juniors part, I do see Doriane and Kimi getting more push in 2024 from the team as a junior. A part of me wished that last year, Paul and Fred got the same treatment. For their wins, for their points and involvement in content. Although those things are in the past, I hope what they are doing now with Kimi and Doriane could be improved and could be more consistently and equally applied to all their juniors. They should give some spotlight to Alex Powell too tbh. He did a great job at F4 UAE this year, scoring several podiums and wins. I hope they do improve in terms of equalization 😁.

3. Internal Dynamics of the Team

I think we all joked a lot about "oohh the grussell hater admin is at work today" or "oohh the gr63 lovers admin logged on today" and while it can be funny and stuff. If seen from a professional standpoint, it is very unprofessional.

"Why Ari? Are you sure it isn't just you overreacting?" No. Nope. These things aren't supposed to show. Internal dynamics aren't supposed to be readable the public. When it comes to this point where the public can know "who" is logging on, can get a grasp on the 'split' of the internal team dynamics, these all screams unprofessionalism. You are not supposed to know these things as a fan nor you are not supposed to let the fans/public know about these things if you're the employee. For these things to show blatantly means there is a lack of synchronization amongst the team and unprofessionalism.

Social media is about bragging. It's about building and retaining personal branding, promoting yourself, telling yourself and gaining attention. And that's what a corporate social media does too except it wasn't for themselves but for the brand and the company. As a social media admin for a company, you should not be known as admin 1 or admin 2 or admin 3. Because in doing your work, you are under ONE ENTITY to represent the company. One social media account means one entity no matter how much admins there are. And to be able to do so, they need synchronizing with one another. This is done so their actions remains equal. The equal actions reflects on professionalism and integrity.

To let an internal dynamic seep through how a social media account is working is kinda unprofessional especially when you can tell the admins' preference. That should not happen because it's a TEAM man.. a TEAM's social media account that's not supposed to show. Preferences, bias and stuffs 😭. BIG NO. They honestly need a fix on how they manage those stuffs so it doesn't seep to the general public knowledge. Being nosy to a company's dynamic is one thing but letting the public be aware of your company's dynamic is ANOTHER.

No one wants their company name stained because if you flop, they flop, well except if they did shitty things like RBR's TP but these internal dynamics such as who likes who or who sides with who, shouldn't be seen by the public. It should be kept under the sheets and be dealt with inside. For them to be noticed is a problem with unprofessionalism. I do hope they can synchronize more regarding these things, put up some T&C, be more strict, and improve this part.

4. Content planning

First of all, I am perfectly aware that this is a very subjective topic. My opinion can differ than yours and i am aware that how a team plan it's contents differs from other teams. I will not criticize nor scrutiny but I will just give my insight on what i found wrong and what they could do better (from my opinion of course).

Mercedes' content planning in 2024 have improved significantly than last year. They have been more consistent in terms of pushing George and doing their contents. But of course, a part of this wouldn't happen if it weren't for Feb 1 😀. There are several problems within how they work on their content planning (in my opinion) last year and I'm going to point out on it. And this is exhibit 1

Exhibit 1: Repetitive use of content materials

The George double is a funny cute one if you look at it for the first three videos. And honestly for contents like this? Three is the maximum. But they do EIGHT. EIGHT CONTENTS. And that is just over usage. That is just too much. You are feeding the general public the same contents 8x. They will get the ick. Besides, as time goes on, the contents are no longer funny and looks like it was forced. It lacked the original creativity when they first made it and as their objective has differed now that they had to 'milk it out' several times. Their first objective might just be "oh creative content" but afterwards it's just "how to milk more from this" and that's where a content loses its fun.

I understand that some people might find these enjoyable to a certain extent but the amount of similar contents Mercedes came to do in the end? Too much. And it also gets affected by how they post the content irregularly. It would've been a delivery if the content were to be made weekly or it became some kind of series. That would be more entertaining honestly instead of just dumping the same contents again and again all at once. People get bored so fast and if you just dump all of the same ones at once, it's like eating 30 of the same croissant at the same time. You get sick of it 🤣

Exhibit 2: The Unequal Portrayal of George Russell

I think I don't need pictures for this. But we all know how "George meme" or "meme guy" has been a thing for George. In a sense, I do acknowledge how it has been a good material for damage control (judging by how fast his image recovers post SIN23), to boost marketability/popularity, and to gain a solid base to attract new fans or the general public.

But it all went wrong when Mercedes milked too much out of this and portrayed George unequally compared to his teammates and even, his own TP who shouldn't even get that much spotlight. At this stage, it could be detrimental to his image and career as a public figure and a team's representative to the sponsors.

Mercedes' brand image for years now has always been the big guy brand. They don't do transitions and it has always been constant. So therefore, they attract big guy brands too like IWC, Puma, Tommy Hilfiger, Marriott Bonvoy, etc. They don't have McLaren-esque google or lego sponsors. And I understand that the approach with George memes were also probably an effort to reach the general audiences and branch out but it gets too much.

"Where did it get detrimental?" When it's overused and when he is portrayed as only the meme guy and not others. LH gets portrayed with his success and serious contents. Toto Wolff got a birthday edit, a proper one at it and is portrayed as a successful alpha man that brings his team to its peak (he didn't). All this while George can't have his 100th Grand Prix poster edited well. The moment they put an effort on him last year was if it's his meme. It is honestly DAMAGING for him. Because it might lead or have already led people to view him in a two dimensional way. Just George the meme guy not George the driver. And this part honestly contributes a bit as to why his crash in AUS23 is used as a joke and is laughed upon. Why? Because his team has been so comfortable, so supportive, and encouraging of people making jokes about George that people lessen George to just a mere JOKE when he is not. This is honestly damaging and sad. His TP is built with a better image by the social media/PR team last year. While George has the most effort put on him when it comes to his memes.

Then again, not only to fans, this could also be damaging to his image in front of sponsors. I've said earlier about how Merc sponsors are big guy sponsors. They are serious brands. They don't just recruit George as ambassadors just because George is a driver for the Mercedes AMG Petronas F1 Team. 'How do you know Ari?' Look at Monster Energy and George. They don't fit. That's why they never did campaigns together and that's why they left and only decided to maintain a collaboration with Lewis. Puma, Tommy, Mercedes Benz and IWC collaborated with George because they viewed him as someone fitting to represent their brand. But what happened if George's image changed because of how his team has been portraying him and encouraging such acts? They could've dropped him. We've seen actors, idols and artists in real life getting their career wrecked after an overexaggerating wrong portrayal that changed their image. That could've happened.

"Ari, don't be too hard on them" I don't curse on them chill.. I am perfectly aware that this is not their sole decision maybe and I am perfectly aware of how this helps George too. But in a way, some of their moves are just wrong and could be damaging to George's career. And it is actually crazy to think that they still do such George's double and memes content up until Feb 1. If Feb 1 were to not happen, it could continue until now. There is no denying that part of the reason why the admins have been taking George seriously is because of what happens on Feb 1 and that is just so WRONG. There are tons of other approaches that you can use to milk out popularity/reach/marketability from these things without an overexaggeration, over usage, and not setting the limits to how the public views their driver. A team's PR and social media is also heavily responsible for the image building of their talent because the image their talent built reflects to the sponsors they retain and attract.

These all could be small, funny, unserious things but there are people whose career changed because of those small, funny, and unserious things.

Lastly, I give the biggest kudos to the people in the social media and PR team who have been doing their work well for George. And i am so proud to see their overall improvement. I hope to see that continues consistently. Not only for George but for Fred, Kimi, Doriane, Alex Powell, and whoever George's teammate is in the future. I hope they don't re-do their mistakes and continue to work their best. Don't forget to appreciate these guys regardless of the team's result. They are the front to the public's perception and feedback. It must've been hard for them too. But if they do something wrong, you can correct them in the right, proper and polite way without bashing them.

This whole thing is my opinion and insight to what I see wrong and what they can improve. Feel free to agree to disagree. Feel free to talk in my asks if there are other things I miss or if you wanna share your opinion.

[anonzentimes]

hi zen!! o/

i am coming into ur inbox purely to tell you thank you for making an effort to become more active about your interests despite being scared bc it kinda helped push me to do the same thing? and i’ve been doing it for the past few months and OHH my god it’s so scary but also i’m having crazy levels of fun and i probably would not be nearly as far along with it as i am bc i’ve seen you do the same thing. it’s really cool to me !! um so i’m Being Brave and sending you a little appreciation ask off anon bc it is 2 in the morning so i do not have the energy to be scared !!! and also i think it’s really really good to celebrate being authentic in our interests and such :3 so thank you <33

to include something on-theme with the blog um um i !!! am also a big nagito komaeda fan !! he’s my favorite little guy !! hajime too but in an “ough he’s just like me fr” way. i enjoy komaeda so much that i’m going to be playing him in my next dnd campaign and nobody knows it’s him except for my DM who is complicit in keeping it a secret from my party members >:] i want them to realize at some point mid-campaign i think it’d be really funny. also that same DM has made an npc who is secretly just izuru kamukura and i’m gonna get to have a romance arc!!! and i’m very excited about it :] MORAL OF THE STORY share your interests with your friends bc they’ll happily enable you lmao <3

ok that is all. have a nice day or night or afternoon \(//∇//)\

HELLO???? YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HEARTWARMING THIS IS AHHHHAHA <33 I'm so touched by the fact I can make a positive impact I'm really happy to hear it. I think unlearning shame or just becoming less anxious with even small things like interests is one of the best things you can experience in life, or at least it has been for me. It's really relieving and being able to just simply enjoy things is an entire major reason to live for me. It's sort of funny I never really expected or intended on having audiences, other than Youtube because well yeah, but I get attention for being authentic and unapologetically myself which apparently I've been told is contagious LOL. It's just kind of how I am and to know people can be positively impacted by that is really nice. I've always been like this but now I have the words to express myself and the mentality to not feel much shame or anxiety over it, again, it's incredibly relieving. Anyways, mostly just being sentimental and saying thank you for sending a little appreciation thing haha! I have trouble understanding I can have an impact sometimes, it's definitely a snap back to reality when something undeniable confirming my presence happens Lol.

HELP IT'S REALLY FUNNY TO ME THAT I SOMEHOW ENDED UP JUST MAKING THIS THE NAGITO BLOG.... IT WASN'T EVEN PLANNED I JUST CAN'T CONTAIN MY THOUGHTS... but I mean, guess that just goes to show how much he IS my thoughts lol. Anyways, totally agree Hajime's definitely a "oh he's so me fr fr" type of character and GOD. GOD I WOULD DO THAT IF I PLAYED DND TOO HONESTLY.... LMAOO THE IDEA OF GETTING STARTLED BY NAGITO IS SO FUNNY... a Romance Arc sounds really cute too!! I hope you have fun with it, sounds like a great experience! Sharing interests with friends is wonderful, and overall I think if loved ones don't enable your interests that's like a red flag to me a bit.

[ren-rambles-often]

Thanks for answering my ask. I love reading your answer. You have no idea, how happy and excited I feel when you said, "It's okay to ask again because I love talking about my fav ships".

Because I have been blocked by someone, and before they block me they said that 'I asked too much and it's annoying.' I was like, 'If you mind, please just say that and I will stop asking for sure, I thought you don't mind', but they still block me...

So, if you don't mind, can I ask, what do you think are Gojo and Yuuji’s greatest personality strengths and weaknesses? Why? What do you love about their dynamic? Sorry if you've answered these questions before.....

P.s

If you want to answer the questions above with Drarry, Ereri or MikaYuu's dynamics, I don't mind....

Thanks if you want to answer @readreactrant and sorry for my long ask.

hihi dnana, super sorry I took so so long to get to this one in particular, I got backed up with work and school haha. And I'm so sorry to hear that, they definitely blew it out of proportion and that's kind of a bit immature on their part. Rest assured I love getting asks and hearing opinions, they fuel my yaoi passion (✷‿✷)

I'd love to answer for the other ships but I think I've only got energy for Goyuu rn lol. And damn am I gonna have to rack my smut filled brain for this one. I've never really been taken by any of the jjk characters cuz on the first watch, to me it was just like any other shonen. Reading a lot of what the fandom had to say over the last few years has definitely changed my opinion.

Gojo and Yuuji were definitely the first two characters that stuck out to me most in the series, (mostly bc of that almost kiss but oh well (✿ ♡‿♡). They both definitely oozed main character energy and I never completely saw Gojo as just the 'super powerful sensei' there always felt like there was more to him and when story began to focus a bit more on him I wasn't totally surprised.

Overall he's a commanding presence, and enigma in his own right and I admire how much he cares for his students. I wouldn't call him a perfectionist because of he was many of the adult characters and megumi wouldn't have so much of a issue with his attitude. But his definitely to be the strongest definitely stems from some deep drive to be what the jujutsu society needs him to be. And that I think is one of the sadness things about him.

Which is kind of where Yuuji kind of comes in. Like any regular person after watching jjk 0, I couldn't help but look for parallels between Yuuji and Geto. Not purely because of their connections to Gojo but because of their personalities which are quite similar. But where Geto's WAS a quiet kind of optimism and support Yuuji is more open, more rooted in the world around him. I'm not particularly fond of happy-go-lucky toxic positivity protagonists but there's about Yuuji that doesn't quite reach those extremes. He's kindness and slight hero complex is what leads him to assume the weight of the world his shoulders but the very admirable thing about him is that he doesn't break, no matter how weak he is in the face of it all because, undeniably, unlike other protagonists, you can't trust plot armour to work for him. All you know is that Gege doesn't want him happy.

What draws me to them as one of the best ships in the show tho, aside from the yummy teacher/student dynamic, is how cute the look together. Sue me but there's something inherently attractive about their color pallette and height difference. They're so funny and goofy together and Yuuji's ability to match other's energy and brighten the atmosphere is definitely something Gojo deserves to have around more frequently. Similarly I think Gojo's experience with Geto can help him reach out to Yuuji in times the younger male needs to understand not everyone can be saved. There's also this personal thing of mine where I view them as, Yuuji admires Gojo's strength, Gojo sees Yuuji's potential as someone to stand with him at the top (not like Yuuji gonna be topping in any other aspects of ya know what I mean).

All in all, it just makes me so happy seeing the two of them together, there's a lot of potential their dynamic and personalities leave up to exploration. Being teacher and student I also think there'll be a lot of nuance to their relationship if they did fall in love.

Thanks for coming this far, I'll probably edit this later but my brain feels so fried right now but really wanted to answer this ask cuz I've been lazing around trying to find an answer to "Why DO I like goyuu". The truth is tho, you don't need a reason to want to see two characters together.

BUT a ship is always nicer when their personalities and height difference go great together, I don't make the rules ¯\(◉‿◉)/¯

Thanks for the ask dnana and I'll hope I'll be able to do the other ships some other time but I hope my answer satisfied you ( ◜‿◝ )♡

[pbandjesse]

Welp i thought I was doing pretty good today. Are three meals. Had a Popsicle. But just threw up so hardcore. That was not fun at all. I do honestly feel better after throwing up but man did that suck.

But thankfully for the majority of the day I felt good. It was mostly a good day. I did have very very strange dreams last night. But I did sleep pretty well overall.

When my alarm went off I was a little disoriented from the dreams, but I was okay. I got dressed and my hair felt very dirty and it wasn't helped by how humid it was outside. Obnoxiously humid. But it was fine. It would still be a good day.

We left here. James has loaded everything into the car already, which I appreciated greatly. We stopped at McDonald's for breakfast. It was nice to have my regular breakfast after so long. I didn't get a soda and I missed the combination but I thought it would be better if I didn't have so much sugar first thing. I would get a lemonade later on, when I felt like I wasn't hydrated enough.

Setting up was quick. James helped me but there was a lot of other stuff today that they had to focus on. It was skate day! The news was there! We had a bunch of extra vendors for the skate stuff. I loved how busy everything was and it brought in new and different people and that was just really great.

I was very excited when Blanche and her mom came and had a table. Blanche had a table with a million friendship bracelets and her mom had photos and paintings. It was so nice to have them.

Ann would get frustrated with some of our vendors today because they were arriving at 9, which is when we are supposed to be open and done setting up. But I still think it was a really nice and positive day.

I would focus on my temperature blanket today. After cutting all the July yarn yesterday I was determined to get that completed worked up. And it would take about 2 hours but I did it! And I was really happy about it. It was also really nice to show people what I was working on. Because even a few people who recognized the type of loom, they were really surprised that I can make panels on it and it was really cool to share that.

I would also finish the three squares for the little blanket I'm working on and I will probably get those sewn together tomorrow. I am really excited about all the work I got done.

And I made a few sales. I made $85. And I got my lemonade for free which made me very happy. James bought us some pies and snacks. And there was a really nice breeze. It was a good day.

I was happy to be done though. The last hour was pretty slow. I hate that I kept watching TikToks but I was just really bored! I would have some nice conversations but I was ready to go!

I worked up and loaded the car. And went inside the museum to hug on James. I would start helping check someone in but it was a weird one and James would tap back in to help. Perfect timing on my husband's part.

I would fill James in on my afternoon plans. Shake shack, five below, Ulta, target. I thought I might go to the craft store but I had to tap out after target.

The problem started at shake shack. At first it was great. I was really loving my sandwich. But I got halfway through and thought I was going to be sick. I sipped my drink and tried to be okay. I wouldn't force it. Instead packing my leftovers to go.

I drove to five below. Got myself a bunch of snacks. Alexi told me that sour stuff helps her stomach feel better when she feels quest. So I got this ridiculous sour gel. Which I used to love that kind of candy when I was a kid and I still like it now apparently. And I did find that it helped.

I would get myself two sanrio blind boxes. And then walked over to Ulta. Where I found the spin pins I needed to replace. And I got a new stick blush. The one I got a few months ago had glitter that I didn't know about. So I'm pretty happy that I found one without the highlight.

I walked over to target. I would get some frozen foods and a lemon. I walked around the rest of the store but didn't get anything else. I got what I needed and decided I needed to go home.

I sat in the car for a little. Opened my blind bags. Got a pompom purrien who is my favorite. And cooled off and caught my breath. And then headed home.

Google took me a really weird way home but it was fine. Got a parking space right outside our door. And was happy to be home.

I put the frozen stuff away. And took a shower. I was feeling a bit queasy and questionable. But the shower helped. Washing my hair helped a lot. And then I laid down and ate sour candy.

I was doing pretty good but the queasy feeling kept coming back. James would come home and would hang with me for a while. But eventually they went and made dinner. They had pasta. I had a quesadilla. Sweetp kept trying to steal it from me which was rude.

But I did not feel great. And that would continue. We laid in bed and James held me and I have found if they press on my side it helps the bad feelings. So we laid there like that for a long time.

I went to brush my teeth. I have had a dry bad taste in my mouth most of today. I think from being dehydrated. I was trying a tongue scraper that Jess got me when I was like. I'm going to throw up. And it was very bad and very upsetting.

James would run in and brought me some water but I was very very distressed for a bit there. But I drank some water. And brushed my teeth again. And I just had a little apple strawberry juice. And I feel a little better. Mostly I am just really tired.

Tomorrow I am hoping to sleep most of the morning away. Because I'm working a wedding from 2 to midnight. And I need to be up and ready to go! I plan on taking my anti nausea meds since today didn't go amazing. And I'll make sure I'm drinking water. And it will be a great time. There's going to be an alpaca there and I'm very excited about that.

So let's hope that this was just a one off and I'm going to be okay. I will feel better tomorrow.

I love you all very much. Send me good vibes. And send my mom congratulations because today she marks 41 years sober!! Incredible. I love her so very much and I'm proud of her for this accomplishment in self care and self restraint!! Love you mom!

Goodnight everybody!!

[ewingstan]

6.8 felt like a big point in the story for me. So it seems like a good point to update my overall impressions on Breakthrough:

I think Victoria is a strong protagonist. That said, Wildbow's strength is character arcs focusing on the protagonists slowly but surely deciding to sacrifice their selfhood in order to make the bastards pay. Victoria already lost her selfhood and got it back, and while its probably too early to really get a sense of it, I don't have any clear expectations of what her arc could be.

Rain has had some of the best writing I've seen from Wildbow and his story has been incredibly engaging. But I don't think I understand Victoria's leap to "he's taken big steps towards becoming a hero" stance. He defended himself against a bunch of people who were trying to kill him. Mama Mathers was gonna send people after him, his clustermates were out for blood, he didn't have a safe group anymore except for Breakthrough (who wanted to fight the guys trying to kill him) and March. Obviously he was gonna help fight, it was his best and only chance to save himself. We haven't really seen him have a chance to do something truly heroic for someone else yet. We probably shouldn't; as much as I like Rain, a recovering Christian Identity member really shouldn't be given a position as a cop.

I'm more excited to see where Kenzie goes than any other character right now (I know her ending isn't great, but we can have good times until then right?) She has the most interesting relationships with every other character and has such an unusual perspective on everything that she consistently elevates any scene she's in.

I know we're still early in but it weirds me out how we still know so little about Chris. He's got an interesting if seemingly hard-to-narrativize powerset, he has a lot of active threads out, and he's gotten my favorite line so far:

(yeah i know its corny. It's still extremely my shit). But we still know pretty much nothing about him besides 1) gets along well with Kenzie and 2) is weirdly eager to throw himself into battle. We knew more about Alec even by this point in Worm. What's this guy's deal?

(I know some of this guy's deal. I don't yet know how we get from here to what I know about this guy's deal).

I feel like Tristan and Byron have been waylaid by the plot for the last few chapters, but I want to get more of them, which I'll take as a good sign.

Ashley is usually the most entertaining character in any scene. Her whole deal is catnip to me. I still think her wanting to go to prison is bullshit.

Sveta is a very fun and engaging character who is clearly meant to be overly naive, but at the same time I feel like the text ends up justifying her opinions too often. The paragon do-gooder voice shouldn't be right too often in a parahumans book, it ends up with too many thematic contradictions between it and Worm. Yeah, her being the moral voice does give her a chance to come out and plainly say the underlying thesis of the work:

But there's still weird issues. The big one for me is still the "Ashley and Rain should turn themselves in" being treated mostly as true; Sveta is treated as naiive for this, but only for believing the justice system is complete enough to process them, not for the belief that "serving time" is a necessary part of cleansing oneself of sin. I mean, Amy going to the birdcage was depicted as useless self-flagellation and running away from responsibility! Taylor doing jailtime was a game she had to go along with to flimsily justify her inclusion on the Wards! Wildbow obviously has put active thought into the theoretical and practical shortcomings of the justice system beforehand, why is it suddenly being sanctified? I'd chalk it down to just being Victoria and Sveta's perspective, but literally nothing is pushing back on it besides Kenzie and Ashley is going out of her way and characterization to agree with it. And I know I'm not gonna get a satisfying answer to this because its one of the things that people bring up as an archetypal problem with Ward, but at the same time I can't just accept "fuck you its ward" as a satisfying explanation! I need answers John! What were you doing with this!

[honeysuckle-venom]

I'd be interested to hear how you found DBT harmful, if you'd like to talk about it....?

I remember all the mindfulness experiences and the ACCEPTS acronym feeling really frustrating + difficult + antagonistic, but for me at the time, learning about trauma therapy and actual physiological coping skills were overall helpful enough that I kept doing it

(Not trying to talk over your experience of it being *not* helpful for you! Just sharing what my experience was :)

Hi Anni! Thank you so much for this excellent question, I'm excited to answer this! I'm glad you mostly had a positive experience with DBT! To be fair, there are some elements of it that did help me, but overall and in the long term I think the effect for me was primarily negative. Some of that also has to do with how I was taught/the therapists involved and not exclusively the philosophy or therapy itself, but some of it is the philosophy/therapy itself. My answer is going to get very long, so I'm putting it below the cut.

Some background: When I was 15, I had a severe psychotic break/my schizophrenia fully manifested. Because it wasn't a super typical presentation (no prodromal phase, I didn't hear voices, most of my initial symptoms were disorganized and catatonic) no one really caught what it was. Instead it was just treated as a "nervous breakdown" due to stress at home/school and severe anxiety and depression. Because I was a teenage girl and engaging in self harming behaviors and expressing suicidality, borderline was also considered/something my mom's psychiatrist thought I had (this was 2012 and BPD was a popular diagnosis at the time).

I had already been in talk therapy for several years at that point, and my parents basically figured "well clearly that's not working bc look how badly she's doing." (Which was incorrect but that's a topic for a different post.) So they looked for other options, and found DBT. I started seeing a psychiatrist who specialized in DBT, and we also joined a group family therapy DBT program in which a few families learn DBT skills together and do a little bit of family therapy with them, which...bizarre structure to have multiple families in one room in therapy but okay. My initial reaction was "I hate this" but it wasn't that big a deal. I filled out diary cards, I learned about dialectics (a concept I actually kind of liked initially), I tried and failed to practice radical acceptance, I practiced using DEAR MAN to express myself in family group, etc. It wasn't really helping me much, but it wasn't hurting much either. I did like some of the distress tolerance skills. I did not like family issues being aired out in front of strangers. I found the mindfulness skills and breathing exercises quite difficult and sometimes triggering re: dissociation, but then I just kind of stopped doing those so much. It was overall a neutral experience. It was something I learned about a few times a week and at home I sometimes did distress tolerance skills and filled out my diary cards, but besides that I wasn't like...super in the DBT Lifestyle TM.

I slowly started to do better (not bc of the DBT) and eventually when I was 16 I went back to school. But I wasn't stable enough to handle it and after about a month and a half I became so unwell I had to be hospitalized again. First I did 3 weeks at a standard (though abusive) teen inpatient unit. After that I wasn't well enough to go home, and my parents got my rich aunt and uncle to help pay for me to go to a very expensive teen month long DBT intensive partial hospitalization program (basically inpatient with slightly fewer restrictions) at a place called Silver Hill. At Silver Hill I ate, breathed, and slept DBT. It was constant. The whole program is about really internalizing DBT stuff and just constantly using the skills.

That program was not good for me, on a number of levels. There were four main problems with it. The first was that the program placed a lot of emphasis on interpersonal relationships, which meant getting along with the other kids there. I was not very good at that, and in fact one time the psychiatrist spoke to me privately to tell me that I was "too weird" and it bothered the other kids. Like...sorry??? Whenever I messed up socially, I would have to fill out these worksheets with what I did/said wrong, what the response was, and what I should do differently next time. This was very bad for my self esteem and also wasn't the fucking point? I was there bc I wanted to kill myself not bc I'm awkward. It would have been one thing if I had been intentionally saying offensive things or something, but I was just made to do these whenever I was too strange, which...sucked. Very reminiscent of abusive autism treatment tbh. That's more on the specific people at this program than on DBT as a practice, but it did influence my view of DBT.

The next problem was the core dialectic that they always introduce you to: "I am doing the best I can, and I can do better" (also, and even more damagingly, phrased as "I am doing the best I can and I need to do better/try harder"). I heard this phrase dozens and dozens of times over the course of that month, and it was really damaging to me. I understand what it's saying, I understand what it's getting at, I don't need someone to explain how dialectics work to me. But I was 16 and drowning and had been pushing myself my whole life, and that phrase implies that what you are doing is NEVER enough. You can always be doing better. Even if you're doing your absolute best, you need to try harder. That mindset was so toxic and dangerous for me at that time, and it really hurt me. I had been abused, I had never felt good enough, I had always tried desperately to do my best in impossible situations, and now I was being told my best would never be enough, there was never a point I could reach where I could rest. "No matter how hard you work you have to work harder" is what that sounded like to 16 year old me. That was really bad for me.

The third problem was that I was doing DBT and DBT only. There was no trauma therapy. I wasn't doing it in conjunction with trauma work, I was just doing DBT. Everything was focused on specific immediate behaviors. There was very little room to talk about how past experiences played a role/affected me, and indeed it often seemed as though the therapists thought I was just using those as excuses for why I wasn't properly applying DBT skills. Over my month there I did learn and internalize some useful coping skills that helped me to, for example, avoid immediately going to self harm. But that should be the first step. It shouldn't be treated like that's the end of the road, once you've stopped the Bad Behaviors you're Cured. Sure, this was a specific inpatient program, and in depth trauma work wasn't the point. But they didn't even act like you should EVER do that kind of work/like when you left you should look into examining the deeper issues while continuing to apply skills. Everything was skill based, and so there was no actual chance to recover from anything on a deeper level. I could stop hurting myself but DBT was never going to teach me how to stop hurting. All behavioral therapies, imo, only address the surface level (behaviors and sometimes thoughts). In order to truly recover I needed to go much deeper than that.

Finally, although DBT is a potential treatment for schizophrenia according to the internet, I found it interacted with my schizophrenia in some negative ways. The core of DBT is dialectics, accepting that two (often seemingly contradictory) things can be true at the same time. I never had a problem with that, and did not need DBT to teach me that. I've never struggled much with black and white thinking. In fact, I had something of the opposite problem. At the core of my psychosis is a struggle with boundaries, particularly between the self and other and between fantasy and reality. My mom, with whom I was deeply enmeshed, lied and exaggerated frequently throughout my childhood, often about inconsequential things. I learned very early on how to hold multiple "true" views of reality; I had to, to survive in my household. It was kind of like doublethink, if you've read 1984? Here's the quote from 1984 about it: "To know and not to know, to be conscious of complete truthfulness while telling carefully constructed lies, to hold simultaneously two opinions which cancelled out, knowing them to be contradictory and believing in both of them, to use logic against logic, [....] to forget whatever it was necessary to forget, then to draw it back into memory again at the moment when it was needed, and then promptly to forget it again, and above all, to apply the same process to the process itself—that was the ultimate subtlety: consciously to induce unconsciousness, and then, once again, to become unconscious of the act of hypnosis you had just performed. Even to understand the word—doublethink—involved the use of doublethink." That's what my childhood felt like. I think elements of that are inherent to DID actually. Dissociation and psychosis worked together to make me excel at doublethink growing up.

And then I was told that the way to cure myself of my mental illness was to...do that exact thing? Hold multiple conflicting truths at the same time? Okay! I knew how to do that! But for me that wasn't a radical new way to view the world and avoid black and white thinking, it was a reinforcement of an unhealthy blurring of boundaries and lack of confidence in reality. A much, much more important thing for me in my recovery was slowly learning to actually trust my own thoughts and my own version of the truth over what someone else told me, to learn to have boundaries and a more stable sense of self and to trust my own memories and internal truths. Although DBT isn't meant to confuse people or blur their boundaries or make them struggle with the truth, because I came into it already in that place with a lifetime of gaslighting and dissociation and psychosis (and because I wasn't aware of my dissociation or psychosis enough to keep them in mind while doing this), dialectics were actually ultimately the opposite of helpful for me most of the time.

So yeah! Those are the big reasons why I don't like DBT. Also I find all the acronyms annoying lol. But really it just wasn't the right treatment for me and my situation, especially at the time.