#I have a 2“ guard and a 1 1/2” guard
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eatember · 4 months ago
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me-beef · 5 months ago
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@strangeravatar made a great point
i was gonna focus on the spike-hotboxing-celestia aspect but i got distracted somewhere along the way and i think i forgot what joke i was trying to make
but dont you think its interesting how many guards of the exact same color/body type she's managed to accrue?? i do
ooohh you want to go look at our stickers so bad
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aquamarinebling · 22 days ago
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party loops au where siffrin works for the king, and challenges the party in the death corridor every new loop.
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choccy-milky · 6 months ago
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part 3 to my modern AU 💞🍺 (part 1 / part 2)
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Halloween prompts year 2 day 10
Danny groaned, blearily raising his head from the nest of blankets and pillows he had made in his apartment. He had smelled something strange.
Something strong enough to wake him from his sleep. Danny got up and stumbled to the front door, cursing his luck for getting a fever so soon into his interdimentional road trip.
Peering out of his open doorway he saw a little kid shivering in the cold, badly hidden behind two trash cans in the mouth of an alley. Danny didn't think twice. In fact he didn't think at all. It wasn't uncommon for an Omega to smell a child who didn't have the scent of another Omega on them and immediately claim that child as thier own, and seeing as his home dimension had exclusively Omegas...let's just say there's a lot of drama in family court and a lot of laws pertaining to this.
So of course the next thing Danny knows is that the kid was bundled up inside his very soft and comfy makeshift nest before Danny passed out.
For the next week Danny had this mysterious fever and he acted like a parent on autopilot, barely conscious as he instinctually cared for the little boy. He made them food and cut them up into tiny bits to feed his baby and if it was handfoods like pizza rolls or sandwich triangles, Danny would hold him in his arms and rock his back and forth, humming softly as his child ate.
Eventually his heat ended (note that omegas from his world don't have heats, they don't have alphas and so they don't even know what a heat is) and Danny was very surprised he has a child in his house. But he and the baby are very emotionally attached to one another. When Danny asked what the little kids name was (and man this kid was little) the kid stared at him in the way little kids do before muttering the world "Clone" followed by what sounded suspiciously like a serial number.
Danny decided, nah. His kid now. Sucks to be the bioparent cause Danny doesn't wanna share.
Somewhere in the city, the bats were freaking out. They had raided a lab and discovered not only had one of them been cloned, but the clone had escaped and no one knew where it was. Cue panicked parental frenzy.
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hijinxinprogress · 5 months ago
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Coffee addict Never sleeps Tim drake ❌ 
Solving cases in his sleep off 87 energy drinks Tim Drake ✅
The coffee addict never sleeps perpetually tired Tim Drake thing is a widely accepted headcanon however that was elementary school tim but after he stayed up for a week straight subsisting entirely on coffee to decipher the bat weekly patrol schedule and how it aligns with rogue attacks/Arkham breakouts, he crashed then when he woke up it was fucking wednesday so he missed his chance to commemorate his discovery with pictures of Robin and he decided that shit would never happen again and made himself an ‘efficient’ sleep schedule so he could run around doing fuck shit, add to his robin shrine, and stay on honor roll bc he was even more pissed to see the gotham gazette had pictures of Robin with an on site interview credited to Vicki Vale (listen bowl cut tim had a one sided beef with vicki vale that included tim judging who gets better pics of the bats but she isn’t even aware that she’s competing with a whole ass child 😭 he’s sitting at the table with a mug of orange juice and looks at the newspaper snorts and goes ‘fucking amateur I could do better’) 
Regularly unsupervised tiny businessman in training Tim ‘Ten hours of uninterrupted sleep?? That’s so inefficient not to mention fucking stupid’ Drake is so pissed he missed getting shots of Robin dropkicking a rogue from 6 six stories up (for absolutely no reason dick just thinks it’s fun) that he just takes at least 3 hour naps every eight hours 😭 he refuses to spend almost half a day sleeping ‘for no reason when he could be doing something productive’ 
And he still does this as a bat but it’s just easier to tell if he didn’t take his nap bc he has less than zero impulse control and he’s just fucking done with everything like the gcpd is terrified bc tim’s saying shit like ‘This guys a fucking moron, I could’ve done this in half the time without killing anyone fucking loser doesn’t he know if you keep them alive you can prolong the torture?’ and ‘you’re like all hysterical and for what 🤨 ‘you blew up 83% of Bristol waah’ stfu and fucking rebuild it?? It’s only rich mfs that live there, it’s just a matter of them opening their fucking wallets’ once a new recruit made the mistake of asking if robin had adult supervision regularly and Tim responded with ‘well if you’re gonna snitch to cps like a little bitch then yeah��� and that cop did snitch so tim fucking doxxed him
Yj has just accepted that sometimes they will find tim in an air vent, on the roof, in one of their closets, or something just fucking knocked out then an alarm will go off and he’ll just get up like nothing happened but for the first couple of months they were probably concerned bc ‘I’ve never seen you sleep?? wtf are you on man’ and Tim’s confused bc ‘I slept next to you this morning wdym??’ and that’s how yj discovers tim sleeps with his eyes open
But one of the worst things about Tim’s ‘time efficient sleep schedule’ nonsense is that it fucking works he’s one of the most well rested and coherent bats even after back to back Arkham breakouts however the absolute worst thing about his sleep schedule is the likelihood of going into the cave and seeing tim staring in a daze but wide eyed yet somehow never blinking at the batcomputer with 57 tabs open on top of being unresponsive and thinking he has a fucking concussion or he’s been replaced but he’s just doing case work while muttering nonsense in his fucking sleep for some reason
#Tim drake being unhinged even in his sleep and taking sleepwalking to the next level by doing reports/solving cases in his sleep#A bat hearing incoherent mumbling but no one’s nearby: 😐 he’s in the walls 😨 he’s in the goddamn walls#No one knows how or why he’s in that particular spot in the wall bc there’s isn’t a secret entrance/crawl space there#Tim also has a wall of energy drinks Bruce regularly tries to lecture him aboot#And Tim’s like ‘your eldest son has snorted sugar MULTIPLE times’#then he gestures at Jason ‘and that one looks like if he didn’t have drug related childhood trauma he’d try to snort protein powder’#bruce: tim we have to talk about your behavior#Tim: like three of your kids have basked in the blood of their enemies 🤨 I am NOT your biggest issue rn#Dick Grayson being the main reason there’s an ‘acceptable levels of force’ slide with 600+ slides & most are examples of what not to do#Stephanie 🤝🏾 Damian: being reason Bruce is adding more slides to a PowerPoint from 2 decades ago#Tim drakes idea of straight forward is how everyone else imagines jumping through hoops and fucking struggling to avoid pissing off the fae#Like wdym simple?? This plan has 97 parts and he’s like no that’s just the first page of plan 1 if it’s sunny#Rogues: I can’t catch him off guard wtf do none of these mfs sleep??#Tim ‘never let em know your next move’ Drake who’s been sleep for the past 45 minutes: 🔵➖🔵#Yj has cuddle piles in the air vents#Everyone with enhanced senses is losing bc ‘there are children in the walls’#Coffee addict babs calls tim weak when he tells her he cut coffee bc it was fucking with him before continuing to chug hot coffee#Oracle: this is the worst Tuesday ever 😔 I need more coffee before I deal with an Arkham breakout#Nightwing: but it’s sunday??#Spoiler: Maybe it’s time we switch to decaf love also just out of curiosity when was the last time you slept??#Oracle: you want the fucking location or not?#Dick: I take it back mb#Spoiler: a thousand apologies to our gracious overlord#Oracle: that’s what I thought#Bruce: you’re benched oracle#Oracle: take that bench and shove it up your ass batman#Steph 100% calls everyone mushy pet names and has since Bruce lectured her about professionalism when she was dating tim#Imagine getting your ass kicked by a sleepingwalking middle schooler#Or worse: imagine having to explain to your insurance company that a sleepwalking child blew up your home#tim drake is a menace
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starheirxero · 2 months ago
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[rez anon]
EARTH WHEN I FUCKING GET YOU
'oh we made sure he knew we still loved him' yeah fuckin sure Moon the definitely felt the love when you left him fucking homeless.
'He's developed several bad coping mechanisms'
OK THEN FUCKING HELP HIM?!?!? YOU HAD BAD COPING MECHANISMS TOO?!
'Oh he said it was an accident but we don't know if it was a one time thing so we're gonna kick him out to protect the kids'
Moon was it a one time thing when you let killcode out to kill? You think you're ANY safer???
'I will always be your brother, I will always look out for you.'
Aint that the same fuckin thing you told Lunar? Cus you sure as he'll didn't follow up on that.
Gond fucking forgive Lunar act like Eclipse
Ill talk more later
WATCHED THE EP U SENT THIS ABOUT JUST NOW AND YEAH. YEAH.
I AM... JUST. BAFFLED. I AM SHOCKED AND APPALLED. THERE'S NO WAY THIS HAS ALL BECOME "FOR THE KIDS' SAFETY." The way Earth just immediately understood why they kicked Lunar out is just,,, augh. Yes Moon I'm sure Lunar felt the love just dripping from your statement of "you're lucky you're still even considered family." 😭
YEA THE WAY THEY TALKED ABT HOW LUNAR'S WAS COPING MESSED ME UP ACTUALLY. Like, the whole interaction of,,, "He's hidden so much from me." "That's just how he is." "I don't like how he is then." LIKE OH,,, OH. OW!!! YK??? LIKE FUCK. On one hand I am so painfully aware of the celestial family's perspective on this, and I know that Lunar has avoided proper help before. But on the other hand THAT FEELS LIKE SUCH AN UTTERLY CRUSHING THING TO SAY.
It just feels like,,, you got a look under their cheery little mask for the first time and saw all the gross anger and unhealed trauma underneath and you decided that's just... it? Earth, who stuck out for Eclipse, saw anger and resentment in Lunar and said she doesn't like who they are anymore??? Like. Am I reaching here or does that feel unfair?!?!!!
AND HONESTLY THE KILL CODE POINT. YEAH. Like again I get it. Yes it would suck to risk having repeats of this incident. But also like. The other family members have shit too that could be regarded with the same weird caution and it's like. cmon. I'm starting to wonder if it really is just a matter of Lunar being too astral to fit in with their entirely robot family, yk???
Like. Idk. Vague hand motions. Nexus fans I'm sorry I never understood you until now HSJABDJSN
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flawlessflesh · 6 months ago
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you are the first person that comes to mind when i think of delgal and thistle so… the song passerine with them?? (thinking of delgal pov specifically)
Honored. Thank you. I LOOOOOVE THIS FOR THEM!
The chorus especially - it's about someone who defines and illuminates the narrator's life, but that importance doesn't stop the narrator from hurting them. If that isn't Thistle and Delgal, I don't know what is...
Cause you were the song that I'd always sing You were the light that the fire would bring But I can't shake this feeling that I was only Pushing the spear into your side again
I see Delgal during the dungeon years as someone who was crushed under a huge burden of self-imposed and unrealized guilt. According to Yaad, Delgal blamed himself for making Thistle use dark magic, and yes! He is guilty for that in a general sense, but Thistle had already been researching the dungeon before the pivotal moment when Delgal's begging made him decide to take the plunge. Guilt about that one moment doesn't address the root of the issue which is that Thistle's treatment by the Melini family, starting with Delgal's father acquiring him on a whim like a christmas puppy, turned Thistle into someone so wholly devoted & bereft of identity outside of them that he would do literally anything for his chosen family.
Did Delgal ever realize the scope of what they'd done to Thistle? Did he just take it for granted until suddenly Thistle wasn't doing exactly what Delgal wanted anymore and he had to start re-evaluating his relationship to Thistle? "I can't shake this feeling that I was only pushing the spear into your side again."
When he comes a knocking at my door What am I to do, What am I to do, oh lord When the cold wind rolls in form the north What am I to do, What am I to do, oh lord
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unanchored-ship · 24 days ago
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its time
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golden-girl-daisy · 3 months ago
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How do y’all deal with a neighbor that hates your dog? I’ve lived in a double for a few years and one of the newest people that moved in hates Honey with a passion. Honey barked once in the backyard this morning around six when someone she’s never met went into a neighboring backyard to smoke a cigarette. I brought her in as soon as she started barking but this new neighbor texted me vitriol about how she can never sleep because Honey barks occasionally and that I shouldn’t use our shared backyard (the reason I moved to this place). I’ve never had a single neighbor complain about her before and the most she barks is like three separate barks throughout the night but l can almost always get her back in and quiet before she barks twice in a row. Leia can’t sleep through the night without going out but this neighbor expects them not to go out at all between 10pm and 10am.
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leblogreblog · 29 days ago
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Being a Cahir fan from the time before the show came out is so weird cause-
That's. That's litteraly a completely different character.
#each time i see cahir on screen i go 'look how they masacred my boy'#so to get out of the way the biggest differences#he wasnt anyone special in the nilfgaard or its army#hes just some son of a noble made officer that just so happened to be unknowingly responsibe for the most important mission of the war#and he didnt know ciri that long#in books he literally just 1) grabbed ciri 2) brought her out of the burning cintra 3) helped her wash up from the soot and grime#he didnt even exchange with her a single word because out of shock he straight up forgot how and when he woke up she was gone#and then he didn't see her for next five years#the fact that he even found her at all is multiple times described as one step away from a miracle#after failing to bring ciri and insulting the emperor in anger he was straight up inprisoned for few years and was supposed to be hanged#which he wasnt only because he was the only person alive that even knew how ciri looked and they needed him to find her#and then he was sent on a basically sucide mission which was equivalent of ozai sending zuko to find and capture the avatar#everyone knew it was a death sentence either from hands of the empire or people guarding the girl#also he didnt stop the scotiael on thanned#ciri killed all of them leaving cahir as the last of them#then when she tried to kill him she irreperably damaged his hand when he tried to stop her sword and then he begged her to not kill him#when asked for one reason why he reveals that he was the one to bring her out of the burning cintra and while doing so he closes his eyes#(of which ciri doesnt have any recollection besides nightmares about a black knight with wings on his helmet on horseback screaming)#((which is also one of the major plot points of this book and the next ones))#after a while of not being struck he opens his eyes and ciri is gone by then and he passes out from relief and/or the blood loss#and only by then other group of scotiael came to him#after failing once again he is literally sent back in the casket (still alive just trapped in it for convinience) to be executed#the only reason he lives on is because geralt later on accidentally finds him and then frees him#then he has lots of character building that i wont spoil anymore that is straigh up not possible with how the show went on#im just really disappointed#cahir mawr dyffryn aep ceallach#the witcher#the witcher books#the witcher netflix#also in books hes described (by geralt nonetheless) as being less than 25 years old/10 years older than ciri during 'babtism of fire'
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rosiesriiveters · 10 months ago
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i do think the doctor at the flak house was great. he read rosie inside out. he tried a straight forward approach at first, pointing out that he went through something unbelievably traumatic, only to be met with a brick wall. he lets it go, and waits until rosie comes to him - which comes when they meet during that night, when neither of them can sleep, and we get to see rosie finally make himself even a little bit vulnerable. he comes into the conversation, guns blazing, assured that he needs to get the hell out of the flak house before he looses that rhythm... only for the doctor to reframe it so that its not just about what rosie needs, but also what rosie's crew needs too. and it's this conversation that propells rosie to reach out to his crew and take care of them, listening to thier stories and accept that he must stay.
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aquamarinebling · 10 days ago
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Question for the guard rogue au: Does Siffrin re-challenge the party after the death corridor? Does the party get a chance to beat/capture them before reaching the king? I imagine it’s already kinda implied with the second comic but I’m interested how this plays out “in-game”. Like does Sif become a repeating mid-boss throughout the house? :3
Pretty much!! Siffrin is a boss on every floor, and assists during the King fight (depending on if the party is able to pacify him). They have a high speed & attack power, but very little defense. I imagine they’re also higher leveled than the rest of the party, at least at the start, and therefore are tricky to beat the first few rounds. During the King fight, Siffrin mainly buffs the king and will occasionally take attacks for him.
They also have multiple traps set up around the House that interfere with the party as they navigate floors. Floor spikes, rock traps, poisoned potions, and so on.
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anxiously-sidequesting · 1 year ago
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Not to keep beating dead horses like I so much love to do but I am still completely Flabbergasted and Astonished at how you (Merle Ambrose) could discover the most terrifying fact that a child that is essentially under your care has been indoctrinated into a cult (which, by the way, a process that has taken over the course of years) ((by an agent that has been stationed in a direct position to make it easier to access and manipulate children, that has easily escaped your notice for such a long time)) that worships a nihilistic entity whose ultimate goal is the absolute and total destruction of Everything and Everyone around you, and your one, single, simple-sentenced response to that is to say "Oh, that's a shame. He (Duncan) always was pretty terrible. Hope he gets better someday." And then to move on from those extremely worrying and dangerous bundle of issues permanently without taking any sort of action to protect the vulnerable and make sure nothing like this ever happens again
#i love ambrose as a character but the things he does makes me clench my fists so hard blood circulation gets cut off#the absolute.... lack of care ambrose has for certain things literally render me speechless#and like okay in his uh. in his uh “defense”. there was like. other stuff going on at the time. i get that#like the end of the world for the 7th time yeah there were other things on ambrose's plate#but i dont know how many different ways to put “your children are being manipulated and kidnapped into a cult that means them harm under-#-your nose and it can absolutely happen again“ and make that stick#you... i#that is a horrifying fact to learn and the response is dismissive at BEST#like im not saying ambrose should adopt all 800 children that go to his school or whatever#but like... DO SOMETHING#you have COMPLETE AND UTTER INFLUENCE OVER THE NATIONAL GUARD. DO YOU REMEMBER THAT? USE THAT#send out watch parties! hold stranger danger assemblies! have adults regularly check in with kids! install a curfew! ANY OF THOSE THINGS?#like even if ambrose couldnt single-handedly stop a powerful cult he could at least make an effort.... AN EFFORT#ONE ATTEMPT. TO MAKE SURE ****HIS**** SCHOOL AND STUDENTS ARE SAFE........#and the fact that he says something along the lines of “well duncan was always fucked up” ☹️☹️☹️☹️#this shouldt surprise me fir the man who for 1. some reason refuses to fix the death school#2. does not care about dworgyn or mortis in the least#3. keeps trying to pressure necromancers to change schools#4. kidnapped US from earth and used us.#it really shouldnt but........ but#im gonna say it and idc (/lh) if its unpopular. ambrose should not be in power#he is incompetent at best. he is harmful at worst.#he does NOTHING 99.9% of the time and the one Tuesday where he takes action it makes something worse. he should not be in power#this post is /lh but idk. im a little angry#NOT SERIOUSLY ANGRY BUT CMON MAN. CMON BRO#if the game utilized ambrose's potential more and pointed out how useless/paranoid/rash he can be i would ascend to heaven#i would like literally one person (who isnt a villain) in the game to look at ambrose and say “wow hes kinda fucked up”#THATS THE BARE MINIMUM BUT I WILL ACCEPT THAT I WILL.#kind of unrelated but im kinda mad that the only person to correctly point out how weird ambrose is is morganthe#the murderous tyrant. the person we're not supposed to listen to. because she's evil. she couldnt POSSIBLY be right about Good Guy Ambrose!
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sprucestairs · 16 days ago
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hhhhhh I need to properly reread Percy jackson again. This post brought to you by the fact I was about to make a post about a scene I very vividly remember of Will Solace trying to convince Pollux not to keep fighting with his good arm broken before Percy manages to convince him not to bc he promised Dionysus, then thought to myself "huh maybe I should fact check that- I mean I did also convince myself that Travis stoll died in this battle when he actually just went to college." And guess what? That scene ✨️didn't happen.✨️ Pollux was trying to convince Percy to let him rejoin the fight very half heartedly, while propped against a tree, and Percy was just like "hmmmm... no"
#Can you blame me tho.#SO much was going on in that book. It was literally JUST that battle and over the course of like 3 days#Here's some I found while skimming my copy of tlo for the scene in question:#Nico trying to rescue/ speak to his mum ft. Hades being a really shitty person (& shittier father)#Rachel's family helicopter almost crashing#Percy having a conversation with may castellan#Luke very belatedly realising “hm maybe I shouldn't give complete control of my body and mind to kronos”#This one random half-asleep demigod Percy runs into at one point that might’ve been Clovis? The demigod was said to be 12 tho-#So maybe his brother?#Prometheus shows up and gives Percy Pandora's jar#Percy getting thrown in prison by Hades and STRANGLES NICO FOR BRINGING HIM TO THE UNDERWORLD????#nico sends the guards to sleep tho so yay dream powers from his dad#And then Achilles's ghost shows up and basically just goes “are you fucking stupid or something. Why would you want my curse”#Chiron brings the party ponies to fight (they got drunk on rootbeer instead)#I think literally the only things from this book I accurately remembered were#1. Michael Yew convinces Percy to destroy a bridge while he's still on it#2. Annabeth moves to protect Percy's weak spot before she even knew where it was#3. One of Silenus's brothers dies and grover gets to be part of the council#4. Silena regrets being a spy and steals clarisse's armour to fight a drakon#5. Clarisse is PISSED that she did something so stupid and kills the drakon with her father's blessing#6. The fact Percy and Luke actually managed to converse during the Final Battle tm and Luke told Percy his weak spot#7. Ethan is a character who existed and then died. He was the son of Nemesis#Hm actually that's a lot more than I thought#But again there are Things happening in this book and there are Many Of Them and most of them are pretty fucked up actually.#anyway#pjo#Something something how is this a kids book etc
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utilitycaster · 1 month ago
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wasn't going to spend so much time finishing my run today but i am coming down with a head cold and don't feel like doing much (<- girl who has much to do) so I'm up to the last gambit and I must admit. Neve romance is really good, huge fan, but outside of that? Having picked Bellara for the wards and Harding for the sacrifice, the the lighthouse conversations before the final run do NOT hit the same. The party doesn't seem like...fine, obviously; but Taash and to an extent Neve are the only ones who really seem to be taking it hard (and, i must admit. I think that the romance scene should come AFTER that character's regular check-in, just, generally, like it has been wild both times for Neve or Bellara to come to Rook's room, have sex, have romantic pillow talk, and then promptly go to Bellara's room and start freaking out.) Emmrich is sad either way, but he is also someone who has been trying very hard to cope with death as his arc. Davrin is clearly upset but he's mostly determined. And Hardened Lucanis is ice cold about the whole affair; I get it's like, extremely different when his vitriolic bestie dies and his girlfriend is taken and he hasn't spent the past few months repeating the mantra "no one can be relied upon," all of his waking hours (ie, constantly, bc he does not sleep ever) and I hasten to note it doesn't feel out of character, given this run, but my first run I came back and the Lighthouse just felt permeated with abject despair, which really was the vibe I was going for before the triumphant ending.
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