#I have a 2“ guard and a 1 1/2” guard

[eatember]

-

[me-beef]

@strangeravatar made a great point

i was gonna focus on the spike-hotboxing-celestia aspect but i got distracted somewhere along the way and i think i forgot what joke i was trying to make

but dont you think its interesting how many guards of the exact same color/body type she's managed to accrue?? i do

ooohh you want to go look at our stickers so bad

[choccy-milky]

part 3 to my modern AU 💞🍺 (part 1 / part 2)

[im-totally-not-an-alien-2]

Halloween prompts year 2 day 10

Danny groaned, blearily raising his head from the nest of blankets and pillows he had made in his apartment. He had smelled something strange.

Something strong enough to wake him from his sleep. Danny got up and stumbled to the front door, cursing his luck for getting a fever so soon into his interdimentional road trip.

Peering out of his open doorway he saw a little kid shivering in the cold, badly hidden behind two trash cans in the mouth of an alley. Danny didn't think twice. In fact he didn't think at all. It wasn't uncommon for an Omega to smell a child who didn't have the scent of another Omega on them and immediately claim that child as thier own, and seeing as his home dimension had exclusively Omegas...let's just say there's a lot of drama in family court and a lot of laws pertaining to this.

So of course the next thing Danny knows is that the kid was bundled up inside his very soft and comfy makeshift nest before Danny passed out.

For the next week Danny had this mysterious fever and he acted like a parent on autopilot, barely conscious as he instinctually cared for the little boy. He made them food and cut them up into tiny bits to feed his baby and if it was handfoods like pizza rolls or sandwich triangles, Danny would hold him in his arms and rock his back and forth, humming softly as his child ate.

Eventually his heat ended (note that omegas from his world don't have heats, they don't have alphas and so they don't even know what a heat is) and Danny was very surprised he has a child in his house. But he and the baby are very emotionally attached to one another. When Danny asked what the little kids name was (and man this kid was little) the kid stared at him in the way little kids do before muttering the world "Clone" followed by what sounded suspiciously like a serial number.

Danny decided, nah. His kid now. Sucks to be the bioparent cause Danny doesn't wanna share.

Somewhere in the city, the bats were freaking out. They had raided a lab and discovered not only had one of them been cloned, but the clone had escaped and no one knew where it was. Cue panicked parental frenzy.

[hijinxinprogress]

Coffee addict Never sleeps Tim drake ❌ 

Solving cases in his sleep off 87 energy drinks Tim Drake ✅

The coffee addict never sleeps perpetually tired Tim Drake thing is a widely accepted headcanon however that was elementary school tim but after he stayed up for a week straight subsisting entirely on coffee to decipher the bat weekly patrol schedule and how it aligns with rogue attacks/Arkham breakouts, he crashed then when he woke up it was fucking wednesday so he missed his chance to commemorate his discovery with pictures of Robin and he decided that shit would never happen again and made himself an ‘efficient’ sleep schedule so he could run around doing fuck shit, add to his robin shrine, and stay on honor roll bc he was even more pissed to see the gotham gazette had pictures of Robin with an on site interview credited to Vicki Vale (listen bowl cut tim had a one sided beef with vicki vale that included tim judging who gets better pics of the bats but she isn’t even aware that she’s competing with a whole ass child 😭 he’s sitting at the table with a mug of orange juice and looks at the newspaper snorts and goes ‘fucking amateur I could do better’) 

Regularly unsupervised tiny businessman in training Tim ‘Ten hours of uninterrupted sleep?? That’s so inefficient not to mention fucking stupid’ Drake is so pissed he missed getting shots of Robin dropkicking a rogue from 6 six stories up (for absolutely no reason dick just thinks it’s fun) that he just takes at least 3 hour naps every eight hours 😭 he refuses to spend almost half a day sleeping ‘for no reason when he could be doing something productive’ 

And he still does this as a bat but it’s just easier to tell if he didn’t take his nap bc he has less than zero impulse control and he’s just fucking done with everything like the gcpd is terrified bc tim’s saying shit like ‘This guys a fucking moron, I could’ve done this in half the time without killing anyone fucking loser doesn’t he know if you keep them alive you can prolong the torture?’ and ‘you’re like all hysterical and for what 🤨 ‘you blew up 83% of Bristol waah’ stfu and fucking rebuild it?? It’s only rich mfs that live there, it’s just a matter of them opening their fucking wallets’ once a new recruit made the mistake of asking if robin had adult supervision regularly and Tim responded with ‘well if you’re gonna snitch to cps like a little bitch then yeah’ and that cop did snitch so tim fucking doxxed him

Yj has just accepted that sometimes they will find tim in an air vent, on the roof, in one of their closets, or something just fucking knocked out then an alarm will go off and he’ll just get up like nothing happened but for the first couple of months they were probably concerned bc ‘I’ve never seen you sleep?? wtf are you on man’ and Tim’s confused bc ‘I slept next to you this morning wdym??’ and that’s how yj discovers tim sleeps with his eyes open

But one of the worst things about Tim’s ‘time efficient sleep schedule’ nonsense is that it fucking works he’s one of the most well rested and coherent bats even after back to back Arkham breakouts however the absolute worst thing about his sleep schedule is the likelihood of going into the cave and seeing tim staring in a daze but wide eyed yet somehow never blinking at the batcomputer with 57 tabs open on top of being unresponsive and thinking he has a fucking concussion or he’s been replaced but he’s just doing case work while muttering nonsense in his fucking sleep for some reason

[flawlessflesh]

you are the first person that comes to mind when i think of delgal and thistle so… the song passerine with them?? (thinking of delgal pov specifically)

Honored. Thank you. I LOOOOOVE THIS FOR THEM!

The chorus especially - it's about someone who defines and illuminates the narrator's life, but that importance doesn't stop the narrator from hurting them. If that isn't Thistle and Delgal, I don't know what is...

Cause you were the song that I'd always sing You were the light that the fire would bring But I can't shake this feeling that I was only Pushing the spear into your side again

I see Delgal during the dungeon years as someone who was crushed under a huge burden of self-imposed and unrealized guilt. According to Yaad, Delgal blamed himself for making Thistle use dark magic, and yes! He is guilty for that in a general sense, but Thistle had already been researching the dungeon before the pivotal moment when Delgal's begging made him decide to take the plunge. Guilt about that one moment doesn't address the root of the issue which is that Thistle's treatment by the Melini family, starting with Delgal's father acquiring him on a whim like a christmas puppy, turned Thistle into someone so wholly devoted & bereft of identity outside of them that he would do literally anything for his chosen family.

Did Delgal ever realize the scope of what they'd done to Thistle? Did he just take it for granted until suddenly Thistle wasn't doing exactly what Delgal wanted anymore and he had to start re-evaluating his relationship to Thistle? "I can't shake this feeling that I was only pushing the spear into your side again."

When he comes a knocking at my door What am I to do, What am I to do, oh lord When the cold wind rolls in form the north What am I to do, What am I to do, oh lord

[golden-girl-daisy]

How do y’all deal with a neighbor that hates your dog? I’ve lived in a double for a few years and one of the newest people that moved in hates Honey with a passion. Honey barked once in the backyard this morning around six when someone she’s never met went into a neighboring backyard to smoke a cigarette. I brought her in as soon as she started barking but this new neighbor texted me vitriol about how she can never sleep because Honey barks occasionally and that I shouldn’t use our shared backyard (the reason I moved to this place). I’ve never had a single neighbor complain about her before and the most she barks is like three separate barks throughout the night but l can almost always get her back in and quiet before she barks twice in a row. Leia can’t sleep through the night without going out but this neighbor expects them not to go out at all between 10pm and 10am.

[rosiesriiveters]

i do think the doctor at the flak house was great. he read rosie inside out. he tried a straight forward approach at first, pointing out that he went through something unbelievably traumatic, only to be met with a brick wall. he lets it go, and waits until rosie comes to him - which comes when they meet during that night, when neither of them can sleep, and we get to see rosie finally make himself even a little bit vulnerable. he comes into the conversation, guns blazing, assured that he needs to get the hell out of the flak house before he looses that rhythm... only for the doctor to reframe it so that its not just about what rosie needs, but also what rosie's crew needs too. and it's this conversation that propells rosie to reach out to his crew and take care of them, listening to thier stories and accept that he must stay.

[anxiously-sidequesting]

Not to keep beating dead horses like I so much love to do but I am still completely Flabbergasted and Astonished at how you (Merle Ambrose) could discover the most terrifying fact that a child that is essentially under your care has been indoctrinated into a cult (which, by the way, a process that has taken over the course of years) ((by an agent that has been stationed in a direct position to make it easier to access and manipulate children, that has easily escaped your notice for such a long time)) that worships a nihilistic entity whose ultimate goal is the absolute and total destruction of Everything and Everyone around you, and your one, single, simple-sentenced response to that is to say "Oh, that's a shame. He (Duncan) always was pretty terrible. Hope he gets better someday." And then to move on from those extremely worrying and dangerous bundle of issues permanently without taking any sort of action to protect the vulnerable and make sure nothing like this ever happens again

[dungeondykes]

all the discworld novels i've read thus far "ranked"

[im-captain-basch]

The downside to watching a YouTube channel with a fairly popular voice actor is he will show up in your Netflix anime when you least suspect it.

[dawn-sunlight]

They silly

[nozomijoestar]

Asuka is a tragic figure, a figure of mystery, a wild card, all because the only thing she wants in life is peace and quiet for herself and to feel in control- yet her secret heritage that may be hidden from her for her own protection and the reality that life is unpredictable and will go on with or without you keep ruining that delusion, that vision of how the world is meant to work to her, and she suffers regardless of what she wants, what she does, and how little she understands anything

She was born into a family preaching peace and balance and order while being a creature of violence, and puts a dozen mental locks and excuses over this truth to justify giving into her impulse for fighting by pretending she's justice when she does it

She keeps trying to build a place of safety but she's using sand and life is a wave that destroys, yet she stubbornly persists rather than give up, not drowned to the point of self centered suicidal loathing like Jin- there's contrast, where Jin is cloaked in death Asuka stubbornly clings to life and humanity as a normal person in a terrifying world

She's not a fucking narrative clone for Jun's own purpose, Asuka's purpose must be determined by Asuka herself

[einsatzzz]

OC Crossovers (1/3): Tea Time with Myr and Lidija (@myrmyrtheorca 's OCs!) Kurumi may or may not be telling Lidija about shoujo manga while Myr is just chilling there and relaxing from the nice atmosphere.

[kaythefloppa]

Lion Guard Finale Praise + Rant

There is a lot I hate about The Lion Guard's final episode but the one thing that will always hold a special place in my heart is the return montage:

You can't tell in screenshots, but in the background, the LG chorus sings a reprise of the Departure Theme from the premiere episode, with this montage being a book-end to the goodbyes that the Guard said to their friends and families in that episode.

It's really sweet and powerful because it's a beautiful example of "Show, don't tell" (a rule which this show, particularly in Season 3, and the LK sequels in general are not the best at following). We see what the Lion Guard had left behind when they went on their journey to the Tree of Life, how much they had missed their home and how glad they are to be back and how that feeling was reciporicated by their friends and families.

Keep in mind that earlier that morning they were under the belief that Zira invaded the Pride Lands and had possibly killed the royal family and subjugated the Pride Lands' non-lion subjects if not giving them a same gruesome fate (since Kion knows that Zira is a lion supremacist, god-forbid what would happen if she ever got near Mtoto, Thurston, or Ajabu), and on the Pride Landers' end, the Lion Guard had been gone for such a long time with no one having any way of knowing they'd return or if they died. So this reunion was likely also a huge relief for everyone in the Pride Lands, especially Simba, Basi, and Timon and Pumbaa (who no doubt would've been scared shitless at the idea that their kid could be missing forever or dead and have no way to confirm or deny that possibility). It's just all around amazing to see. When watching the episode for the first time when it came out I thought something was wrong with my computer because despite there being 14 minutes left, I wholeheartedly thought the series was going to end there....

...which is why I'm very mad that it didn't and forever disappointed at the route they went with for the actual ending.

In the span of less than a full day since the Lion Guard returned from the Tree of Life, all of them instantly want to head back there on a whim after losing the Lion Guard contest, which would wind up in them completely uprooting their lives and leaving their home and families again for the sake of this one kingdom that we've only seen for seven to eight out of 74 episodes plus a TV movie! The reunion showed us that the Guard was strongly attached to their home and families, but now the ending forces us to ignore that to logistify the Guard willingly going to the Tree of Life without any on-screen goodbyes or send-offs. No scene of doubt, no goodbye songs, no parting ways between characters, nothing, it just jump cuts from "Hey, let's go back to the Tree of Life even though we've only been back here for a day" straight to them at the Tree of Life for Kion and Rani's wedding. Isn't the episode's title supposed to be "Return to the Pride Lands?" Yet the "return" plot stops mattering after the first 11 minutes.

The whole Guard leaving with Kion doesn't even make sense: Bunga has Timon and Pumbaa at Hakuna Matata Falls, Beshte has to co-lead the hippo pod with his father, Ono has his flock and possibly even Ona (you could argue that he would want to return to the Tree of Life because they healed him, but that's not the reason they went with - Also the poor dude lost his Mark of the Guard twice, the first being after he lost his eyesight to protect the Pride Lands from Scar, like, what the fuck?), Fuli had been the most admant about returning to the Pride Lands, and Anga showed no interest in staying at the Tree of Life and seemed perfectly ok in the Pride Lands.

Even back in the days where people were theorizing what would happen to the Lion Guard that caused them to be absent in TLK 2, I never saw reason for the whole Guard to leave if Kion ever left, and even then, I never expected any departure to be permanent because it would go against their whole life-style. It feels like they only had them leave like this for the sake of some "twist" that didn't need to be there. And even if they were going to go with this route, they could've had the Guard separate, with some staying and some going to at least make sense.

Much like Makini, Season 3 ignores crucial story elements of the main characters from the first two seasons to both justify their "plot-twist" by the end and to wrap up any “plot-holes” with the Lion King 2 and forces the audience to suspend an inappropriate amount of their disbelief. So while I like the reunion in the final episode and whilst my love for the show remains un-matched, knowing how it all ends and that (according to some writers) it was planned from the start to end like this makes me feel cheated in a way. One of the most disappointing endings I've seen from a show which I've been willing to follow from start to finish and this is coming from someone who's watched both Jake and the Never Land Pirates and Bunk'd.

[archersgoon]

omg i forgot about priestking jory my most favourite postcanon au of all time