#I have COVID :P
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*Bruce and 9yo Dick playing chess*
Dick: Okay, I'm gonna take your pointy, sad-faced guy for my horsey guy.
Bruce: Stop, stop. *pointing to Bishop* What is this piece called?
Dick: I call him Dwight.
#can you tell I'm rewatching Psych for the millionth time#I have COVID :P#boooo#batman#bruce wayne#dc universe#dc#batfam#dick grayson#dc robin#nightwing#batfamily#richard grayson#batman headcanon#psych tv#psych 2006#incorrect batfamily quotes
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More old art for y'all, got busy so I hadn't been posting and then I got SICK made this the last time I was sick and am feeling it really hard rn
#my art#trolls#dreamworks trolls#trolls au#trolls oc#trolls oc lief#n2 au#im p sure it's covid#i havent been able to test but it feels rhe exact same as the last few times ive had it#im isolating ofc and making sure to stay hydrating and take medicine#fever dreams have been going wild#my doggy has been glued to my side ever since i got sick on Christmas#ny faithful companion#he brought me one of his favorite toys today#very sweet
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i’m cool i’m chill i’m fiiine it’s just thinking about inconsolable differences and boundless sands still feels like having my bones broken one by one and the only cure is to close my eyes and imagine ccrime passed the fuck out under a pile of mismatched blankets safe and sound in wilbur shitty apartment in the middle of the desert. i’m normal…..when they wake up they’re gonna get breakfast at the diner. wilbur drinks his coffee that’s more cream than coffee and feels soemthing like light when he watches tommy laugh and talk through a mouth full of blueberry pancakes and stained cheeks. and he has to wipe pancake off his glasses cause tommy isn’t tommy if he’s not talking with his mouth full and wilbur isn’t wilbur unless he’s pouring eight containers of creamer into his shitty black coffee and tommy and wilbur aren’t tommy and wilbur if they’re not together.
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So Ao3 tells me it's been about 7 years since I first started writing Cigarette Smoke & Snark.
It does not seem like 7 years. Time flies.
#we've had some good times and some bad times#and now i'm having a small crisis#SEVEN#NO#look covid time DOES NOT COUNT surely it doesn't count#:p#why did i look#WHY DID I LOOK#oh well i wouldn't trade this little punk for anything he's mine now
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#meg talks#feeling really down and frustrated#ever since i caught covid over the new year ive just been doing so badly#it’s now halfway through may and not only am i having all sorts of weird new pain problems#to the point where i dragged myself to the er yesterday bc my usual meds didn’t do shit for me and i spent seven hours writhing in pain#but also mentally im just. constantly tapped out#before covid i was able to keep up w news and work on research projects and write multiple image descriptions every day and read books#and keep up w friends all while working full time#like even if i was in bed p much whenever i wasn’t at work i could still read and write and carry conversations#now it’s like i can only handle all of these things in small doses before my brain just shuts off#im still keeping up w news and describing what i can and working on my research projects and trying to make connections#but i feel so slow abt everything i do#it’s driving me up the wall#ive been trying for days to get through this one academic paper that’s rlly not even that long#and i just can’t do it. not for long anyway i have to read in small bursts#and then having to take muscle relaxants for these fucking spasms that make me really drowsy and sleep the whole day away…#idk. it might not even be abt covid i might be reading too much into it but it’s just pissing me off. thinking abt how nobody masks anymore#and how every time there’s a covid outbreak i won’t be able to properly protect myself or my brothers from it#bc of this fuckass job#idk im just tired and upset
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I spent a few hours with my crush on Friday (they took me to the dmv to transfer my car title into my naaaaame aaaaaah).
Both of us were masking. Today they tested positive for Covid.
I KNOW that when I’m at school I spend hours in rooms with unmasked people with Covid every day because people are dickheads and also somehow still clueless. And I spend a lot of time around unmasked sick people in doctors offices. And my partner substitute teaches. And I know that masking works. I’ve been around ppl w covid double masking and not gotten in the past.
But ahhhhh fuck I don’t want to get sick and I don’t want my roommates to get sick and I don’t want my friends to get sick aaaah I hate this so much I haven’t had Covid yet and I don’t want to get it!!!!! I am so careful all of the time because I am SCARED.
#also this friend has gotten Covid like 4 times bc of working as a paramedic and I’m worried for them :(#they’re p able bodied rn but that could change#and also my partner’s birthday party is on Monday and I don’t want them to have to cancel because I got sick!!!!#and also I had plans with my friend which involved them cuddling me to sleep bc my insomnia has been killer and now that can’t happen so#I’m tired and nervous and anxious#wahhhh#personal
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Once again reminiscing about how joining a random magnus archives discord server in February 2020 changed the course of my entire life looll Like ok i would definitely still be doing a PhD in biology now (everyone has known i would do this since I was 12) but due to [years-long chain of causes and effects that I don't wish to recount now] it would not be the project I'm doing now, which would also mean different city, which would mean my entire life downstream from that would also be different. The long long shadow of me going whatever im bored and this guy seems funny let's join this server. But that's how it always goes in this life innit
#i think it was february might have been january#pre-covid but just barely#if it hadnt been for that everything would be so different that i cant even imagine what i would be doing now#but otoh biology and writing and other hobbies are constant 4 ever and id be doing that somehow#just somewhere else in a different way#augh#p
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I keep waking up every hour and having the most bizarre dreams. Im still running a low fever. Im so miserable. I’m eating ice cream with my tylonel then hoping that I can sleep the rest of the night.
#at least I haven’t had my sense of taste affected 👍#I do have tongue pain though. thought it was from nerve pain from my surgery but apparently it’s common with the current Covid wave#p
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ok fr last one but there's actually a bootleg of my school's anastasia and i'm linking it bc you all NEED to understand that my infatuation with this one girl's voice which started when i was in the 6th grade and still hasn't really worn off isn't based on nothing
#brielle's the one in the n95 mask (the video is too grainy to actually make out any of the ensemble's faces but she stands out)#and i'm the in my 'teenage tboy's diy first short haircut' era in every scene she's in#apart from everything abt the girl who plays anya. the tea on everyone else is that our director liked the boy who played gleb's voice so#much that she actually lowered some if not all of his parts to be in his range. the guy who played vlad was a total diva and uhm. the phras#'peaked in high school' has been tossed around at him a lot. and the fact that he came back to sub the year after he graduated isn't helpin#his case. also he pressured the girl who played anya's grandmother into wearing old age makeup + spray her hair grey bc he decided he was#going to wear it and since she's supposed to be older than him she had to too and used to waltz into the girls' changing room whenever he#wanted. everyone was like super shocked during auditions though bc we all thought he was a shoe-in for dimitry esp since seniors get#priority casting bc it's their last chance. but at callbacks (we had singing auditions via video and dance auditions in person and callback#were tacked on to the dance auditions) he kinda flubbed his song and then this freshman. who was with us via google meet bc he literally ha#covid at the time absolutely blew him out of the water and i remember walking away w brielle like 'holy shit [first name] [last name] just#lost a part to a freshman' (he's the kind of person you just have to full name otherwise it sounds wrong). that said i do think he made a#much better vlad then he would've made a dimitry and while he is. a lot. he's always been nice to me and i did briefly idolize him and his#stage presence way i did anya's singing voice but that faded when i got into hs and started actually observing his prima donna ways#(the one production we were in together before in middle school we didn't have any scenes together). the girl who played the grandma#actually shouted me out in cast circle and that's the only time that's ever happened to me. also i'm p sure her dad is/was dating someone m#dad and by extension myself work with so that's. Oh My God. like she (the one who works for my dad) brought him w her to a comedy show as i#think her bf but i'm not 100% sure and when he found out what school i went to he mentioned his daughter went there and despite the fact#that i basically have a script for when people ask me that question bc i do NOT pay attention to most of my fellow students and don't know#anyone i was like 'holy shit' bc i actually did. hm what else. the guy who played the tsar and i used to shittalk bad period dramas#backstage during the first part of act 2. also during the press conference scene i need you to picture all the bolshevik soldiers and#romanov royals doing the macarena behind the curtain bc that was absolutely what we were doing back there. speaking of the press conference#the really high singing w/o a clear source was actually anya standing behind the curtain on the other side of the stage bc she's the only#one who physically could sing the part. also in regards to the bolshevik soldiers. we were originally supposed to have wooden rifles but fo#some reason our director took them out so we had to just walk menacingly towards the romanovs. you can't rlly see me that well in that scen#but that jacket would NOT stay closed and for 2/3 performances i had to awkwardly hold it closed the entire time. luckily the one that was#filmed was the one where i was smart enough to bring safety pins and also saved like all of the ballerinas bc their costumes all started#falling apart at once backstage.#romeo.txt#theatreposting
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What in the actual fuck do you mean it's been 2 years since I moved back to Upper Michigan ?????????
#i really don't know where my life is going. i've lost all ability to process time since covid happened. TWO YEARS ?????? aaaaa#it's so weird b/c my life in wisconsin feels like a distant memory now like did that even happen??? i spent 10 years of my life there????#i talked a lot of shit about it back then & it's not that i actually think wisconsin or eau claire are bad. they're pretty cool honestly#i just didn't want to be there & felt trapped. i was so miserable & homesick for michigan. i never felt like i fit in or belonged there :(#the last 2 years have been really rough & full of a lot of illness and death and grief and no i still haven't found a job b/c of all of it#but i really am so fucking happy to be back in michigan & the UP. this is it for me. this is where i'm happiest & where i fit in. it's home#just kinda wish i had never moved away or that i could've moved back way sooner :/#p
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god i feel like garbage
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"your local cottagecore lesbian!" and she's posting about having long covid and listing holistic remedies to try
#im subtweeting someone on insta btw#'wow i just kept getting sick this year and now i can't shake the phlegm!' hey did you have a cold or covid/rsv/flu/walking pneumonia/take#your pic#p#obviously nobody chooses to get sick but the conspicuous lack of medicine beyond a produce list is pretty damning to me#also have we not left cottagecore behind by now. are we not done w this
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i love :D being sick :D
#this is complete bullshit#first of all i feel like i caught the end of a cold#like i feel how you feel on like the last day#just generally shitty and tired and your nose feels weird#usually when i get sick im super drippy and stuff :p#but also#i havent really been outside in like 3 days!!#ive been indoors studying and cleaning and resting#and i know i dont have covid even though my friend does because i tested#this is bullshit#right before finals too#i have a paper due tomorrow (which i finished already thank the lord 🙏#but on tuesday i have to write like three papers in 2 hours#and on wednesday i have a giant test#and also i have an interview on tuesday i forgot#maybe i shouldnt have relaxed so much 😔#anyway i will feel bad for resting going forward :D
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Idk I think it's funny seeing people on twitter say things like "Christians want to tell you it's all a part of Jesus's plan until it's them!" cause like idk about you but I've had family members 100% say they're ready to meet the Lord than interfere with his plans via a Tylenol and a flu shot
#I had a cousin think she'd die from covid and actually lost her husband to it#only to say she wasn't scared of the virus because she had the blood of jesus over her#I still have family that says the blood of jesus will protect them better than any vaccine so they won't get it#I had an aunt scoff at me for taking birth control to control my endometriosis#and use my nebullizer for a severe asthma attack#and she refused to take her singular pill for her blood pressure until she literally couldn't see and her sister forced her to take it#she's in her 90's so ig it's more understandable but also she is v healthy for a 90 year old#like there are so many twitter users speaking from the outside that do not understand just how intense these christians can get#the politcians running off christian values or whatever? they just want power and money#aunt mary lou and uncle billy bob in the middle of nowhere georgia?#they'll hunt you for sport for even thinking about taking a claritin#my grandfather doesn't believe in allergies btw and apparently that's a p common boomer thing too#some believe in allergies but think if you have them you're meant to die from them as intended#it's fuckin wild out here#ex christian#religious trauma
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feeling like such a loser lately and like is it the winter or is the introversion or is it the disability???
#for a while now its been so hard for me to discern if social stuff is hard because im ND or because im an introvert#theoretically i love parties but im horrible at them on my own#i dont know what to say or how to start conversations#i desperately want to mingle and talk to people and have a god time but idk how to start that interaction#esp because i dont love talking about my work/home life (bc it makes me feel like a loser!) so i dont want to ask people about their work#in case they reciprocate and ask me about mine#also the masking#the masking is exhausting#!#the ND masking not covid masking!!#im afraid ill have nothing to add to a conversation#im afraid when i do speak up that ill ramble about something no one cares about or talk fkr too long or being jn skmething that feels like#non sequitur and ill watch peoples eyes glaze over as they scan the room for others to talk with#i have no social anxiety about like asking for help or directions or “hey where did you get that pizza it smells so good”#or “omg i love your outfit!!!”#but in a room full of people who sort of know each ither#or like p much any space where there are clumps of people talking and im not in any of them?#i feel like a bother and incompetent#i crawled out from under my rock for my only social engagement this month and theyre on their 3rd of the day and loving it#hoping eventually i wont feel the need tk mask so much. i know that makes things so much harder#=
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had a stupid revelation the other day. nothing is stopping me from taking the bus to the Big City Art and History Museum. yeah it takes a hot minute, and yeah i've never taken advantage of our public transportation, and yeah my stupid parents will absolutely be paranoid as hell that i'm going to the Big City alone, but i can just do that. i'm an adult. i can just go. i've only been there maybe 7 or 8 times my whole life, which isn't NEARLY long enough considering both the size of the Big City Art and History Museum and the fact that i love revisiting exhibits i've seen on past trips
#len speaks#ALSO considering i'm MAAAAAYBE thinking about applying for a volunteer position at Big City Memorial Museum i'd need to get there anyways#i don't rlly drive at this point due to several factors and i'd rather jump off a bridge than drive to the Big City. that's nightmare fuel#i get nervous being a passenger there let alone a driver. the roads are rough the streetlights are strangely oriented and p*rallel p*rking#is practically manditory. i could parallel park in drivers ed but i wasn't perfect at it and i only did it the once. so i do not ever fancy#the idea of driving there even if i do start driving more regularly. i'll just get an uber or take the bus. covid relief made the bus#infinitely more affordable so i really have no excuse if i'm willing to kill a lot of time en route#being vague bc i haven't decided if i'll post pics from my upcoming museum trip. it's not MY city so i'm not straight up doxxing myself but#it is within driving distance. i probably will take 1 million pictures if i'm being honest with myself
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