millionancientbees

[millionancientbees]

David Wymack approximately 250 times a day:

[millionancientbees]

can you take my white ass to funkytown

[millionancientbees]

[millionancientbees]

Hey, random writing tip: Instead of having something be a ridiculously unlikely coincidence, you can make the thing happen due to who this particular character is as a person. Instead of getting stuck on "there's no logical reason to why that would happen", try to bend it into a case of "something like this would never happen to anybody but this specific fucker." Something that makes your reader chuckle and roll their eyes, going "well of course you would."

Why would the timid shy nerd be at a huge sketchy downtown black market bazaar? Well, she's got this beetle colony she's raising that needs a very specific kind of leaf for nest material, and there only place to get it is this one guy at the bazaar that sells that stuff. Why would the most femininely flamboyant guy ever known just happen to have downright encyclopedic knowledge about professional boxing? Well, there was this one time when he was down bad for this guy who was an aspiring professional boxer...

I know it sounds stupidly obvious when written out like this, but when you're up close to your writing, it's hard to see the forest for the trees. Some time ago I finished reading a book, where the whole plot hinges on character A, who is 100% certain that character B is dead, personally getting up and coming down from the top rooms of a castle, to the gates, at 3 am, to come look at some drunk who claims to be this guy who died 17 years ago. Why would A do that, if he's sure that B is dead?

Because he's a Warrior Guy from a culture of Loyalty And Honour, and hearing that someone's got the audacity to go about claiming to be his long-lost brother in battle, there is no other option than to immediately personally go down there to beat the ever-loving shit out of this guy. Who then turns out to actually be character B, after all.

[millionancientbees]

it's good that we're saying "i don't feel guilty about pleasure im not Catholic" but we also need to start saying "i don't feel self-righteous about being overworked I'm not Puritan"

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[millionancientbees]

[millionancientbees]

It's Gay Rights Gengar Friday

[millionancientbees]

’cold showers are actually much better for you’ I don’t care if they gave me the power to manipulate time. you can pry scorching hot showers out of my dead hands. and even if I got time manipulation powers I would just use them to take more hot showers. btw

[millionancientbees]

look the reason i want to see jeremy break but not renee is that renee is genuinely healing and becoming well-adjusted, while jeremy is a ball of repression put into a box, tied with a ribbon, and labelled “to ignore”. other than that i love them both equally and would like to wish them both a very “will you marry me?”

[millionancientbees]

12 frames of animation I made using knitting! I spent a long time on this and I’m so pleased with the results, really looking forward to trying more ‘yarnimation’ in the future. Process video out now too! 🐑

[millionancientbees]

I think one of the funniest things about kids is how they'll be very observant and lack context for anything. Like imagine someone having to explain their small kids that some other adult in the grocery store was acting absolutely horrid because some grownups aren't real adults, they're just kids in adult bodies trying to pretend to be grownups, and some of them are bad at it. Real grownups don't throw tantrums in grocery stores.

And three weeks later one of the kids sees a trainee at the daycare fuck up something that the other daycare workers have no problem doing, and observes "you're just a kid trying to pretend to be an adult, aren't you?" and this whole-ass young adult will have to process that they were just read for fucking filth by somebody who was born in 2021.

[millionancientbees]

Joy Sullivan, from Instructions for Traveling West: Poems; “These Days People Are Really Selling Me on California”

[millionancientbees]

headcanon that neil and andrew don't necessarily hide their relationship in public but also absolutely refuse to acknowledge it. neil asked about his relationship with andrew "yeah i hate that guy", andrew asked if he and neil are actually together "i don't know who neil josten is" and then someone will spot them kissing in the car and they'd both be like "this is not our car"

[millionancientbees]

yesterday i learned that people i like having stubble makes me fucking feral?? i finally asked my crush to rub it on my face and they did with their hands on my waist and !!!! anyway, after me failing at being normal about it all day today we ended up curling up on the couch so their stubble was rubbing on my face and their voice was in my ear and it was sensory heaven but also i haven't been fucked in so long i'm scratching at the walls and that did NOT help lmaooo

[millionancientbees]

keep up

[millionancientbees]

good god.