#in case they reciprocate and ask me about mine

[ablazeinhim]

feeling like such a loser lately and like is it the winter or is the introversion or is it the disability???

[kurokawaia]

❛ I'LL TEACH YOU ❜

Tomioka Giyuu X Fem!Reader

WC;2k k+ | !MDNI! | TW/CW; x fem reader, reader is implied a virgin but isnt specified, fingering, oral -> male recieving, smut, nsfw, pwp?, pw/op? praise, fluffy at the end, + more

*ੈ✩‧₊˚𝑅𝐸𝒬𝒰𝐸𝒮𝒯 :: (filled request) Can you do giyuu x fem!reader where reader is new to sex😅- ANON

m.list | demon slayer m.list

Now, you weren't experienced in sex, not at all. But, one could say the same about Giyuu. He was stoic and quiet so one would expect him to be not experienced either, although that wasn't the case. Yes, he was inexperienced but in his head, he knew exactly what a woman would want and crave. 

Giyuu and you have been together for quite a few months now and the most anything sexual had ever grown between you was the heavy and heated makeout sessions the two of you had, where Giyuu's hands would wonder lower, his fingers pressing against your clothed pussy before you pull away. 

You were just a tad bit scared because you knew that you were inexperienced and think that might deter your boyfriend, but that was far from the case. At this point, Giyuu was wondering if you even love him like that, in a sexual way. 

To Giyuu's surprise, you had the guts today to take some subtle control. Your hands cup his face gently, as you sink further beneath him while your tongues slowly intertwine with each other before one of your hands slithers into Giyuu's hair, softly tugging on the black strands. Giyuu lets out a soft moan into your mouth at your action 

You tremble due to the simple sound, it makes you feel so weak to the point where you whimper into his mouth. Cheeks flushed red in embarrassment, your cheeks were beet red. Pulling away from the heated kiss, your arms wrap tightly around his shoulder and around his neck while you bury your face into his neck. 

"Sorry," you mumble.

Giyuu lets out a sigh before kissing your hair and wrapping his arms to reciprocate around your figure, pulling you inevitably closer to him. "You don't need to apologise for something like that," Giyuu replies, his breath tickling your neck causing shivers to spill from every nerve of your body.

"Still..." you say slowly. "You make me feel things I don't know how to deal with."

"You can let me help," Giyuu replies reassuringly. "You know I'd never hurt you."

You lift your head from his shoulder with stars in your eyes. You love him so much it is overwhelming. 

You smash your lips against him and he grunts shocked in response. Giyuu's tongue is in your mouth once more and you gasp as your body falls back against the futon. Electricity was coursing through your veins at his touch.

"Giyuu," you moan against his mouth, your eyes shut closed in ecstasy. "Can you please....?"

"I'll do anything you want me to," he replies instantly, his lips breaking away from yours. 

In reply, you began to kiss him again, you couldn't get enough of him. "Could you take my nemaki off..." you asked, unsure.

"Of course," he replies almost instantly. 

A breathless sigh leaves your mouth when his hot hand trailed up your lower stomach to experimentally squeeze the mounds of flesh. you let out a moan when Giyuu's lips began to press and suck gently on the top of your breast. You covered your mouth embarrassed while you looked away from Giyuu. "Sorry," You mumbled.

"You sound so pretty," he whispers in your ear, causing your cheeks to heat up. Giyuu's free hand pulled the hand away from your mouth. 

He leaned up a bit, pulling you gently with him and slipped the black nemaki off your shoulders, placing the material somewhere near us before he lay you down on the futon again.

Giyuu's lips pressed against mine once more while a hand skimmed slowly down your body. You felt the tip of his finger tug only slightly at your underwear and you grasped his wrist, the kiss breaking.

"Do you want to stop? You don't have to do this if you don't want to," Giyuu reassures but you shake your head, signalling that you weren't implying that.

"It's not that, I really want to," You replied breathlessly before an embarrassed flush rose onto your cheeks. "Could you take off your..."

"Huh? Oh, of course," Giyuu hummed, his lips pressing the side of your jaw. You watched him slip himself out of his nemaki, You see the imprint of his dick press painfully against his underwear and you swallowed deeply before he straddled you once you. Giyuu did that without any complaint, he must really love you all that much.

Giyuu pressed a reassuring kiss on your jaw before the tips of his fingers pulled the cotton down your legs, the cool air of the room causing chills to tingle down your pale skin. "You're so pretty," Giyuu says breathlessly causing butterflies to swirl in your stomach.

His fingers venture further down, tracing a path along your slick slit. The touch is electrifying, causing you to tremble in his hold, your body responding to his every movement. A helpless whimper escapes your lips, a testament to the overwhelming pleasure that courses through you.

"So wet," Giyuu mumbles before looking back up to me. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," You replied quietly, opening your eyes down to Giyuu. "Please, can you... touch me more."

"I'll do whatever you want me do to," Giyuu replied and You let a small smile grace your lips.

At your reply, Giyuu's fingers experimentally push past your slick folds, his fingers pressing past your clit, and a surge of pleasure courses through you, leaving you breathless and desperate for more. A moan left your mouth as your back arched at his touch. your reaction caused Giyuu to press down slightly more and your legs squeezed around his waist, moans stringing out your mouth.

You felt his fingers slide down and he found your seeping hols, drenched with arousal. You felt a finger slowly slide inside your heat, a whimper leaving your mouth. "Does this feel good?" Giyuu asked and You nodded frantically.

"So good," You whimpered as he slowly pumped in and out your soaked walls. "Making me feel so good, Giyuu."

"Really?" He asked and you moaned as he inserted another finger into your walls.

"Yeah, so so good," You whimper.

The sensation is overwhelming, a perfect blend of pleasure and intensity that leaves you unable to contain your moans. You press your lips against his shoulder, muffling the sounds that escape from deep within you. His fingers explore the depths of your core, igniting a fire that consumes your every thought. Each movement, each curl, sends shockwaves of pleasure radiating through your body.

You surrender to the intoxicating rhythm of his touch, the combination of his skilled fingers and the intensity of our connection pushes you closer to the edge, teetering on the precipice of release. It's a moment of pure bliss, where time stands still, and you are consumed by the overwhelming pleasure that courses through your veins.

As Giyuu's fingers continued their relentless rhythm, pumping in and out of your seeping hole, there was an unfamiliar tightness growing in your lower abdomen, pleasure tightened inside your stomach. you wrap your shaky legs around him, seeking to anchor yourself to him amidst the overwhelming pleasure. your body quivers with anticipation, responding to his every touch, every movement.

you chant his name into his neck as praises leave your mouth, your voice filled with desire and need. The tears welling in your eyes are not from pain but from the overwhelming pleasure that threatens to consume you entirely.

In response to your plea, sucks the skin around your neck once more, groaning against your neck, his voice laced with desire. He begins to press your clit with the pad of his thumb, adding another layer of pleasure to the already intense sensations. The touch is electrifying, causing you to arch your back in response.

"Please, Giyuu," you sob. "I need to... So good, Giyuu."

"I've got you," Giyuu reassured, intertwining our mouths together, his mouth swallowing the moans that slipped out your mouth.

The pleasure builds, the tension mounting with each passing second until you are on the precipice of release. It's a moment of pure surrender, where pleasure reigns supreme, and you are consumed by the overwhelming ecstasy that engulfs you.

Waves of ecstasy wash over you, leaving your legs trembling and weak from the intensity of the sensations. He slips his fingers from your hole and you continue to tremble from the aftermath of the orgasm. you managed to release your from Giyuu's neck and move away from his hold.

"How are you feeling?" Giyuu asks cupping your cheeks.

"Good," you breath out slowly while looking into his eyes. "But, I want to make you feel good too."

"You don't need-"

"Please," you beg and you watch him swallow deeply, tension showing on his body.

Giyuu asked once more. "Are you sure?"

you nod. "Please."

"Alright," He smiles gently moving off you to get himself out of his underwear and your eyes widen as you see the size of his length. Giyuu moves over you, you place your hands on his chest.

"W-wait," you say, voice cracking.

"Are you okay? What's wrong? Do you want to stop-?"

You shake your head. "No! I just want to make you feel good too."

Giyuu's eyes widened when he realised what you were implying, you wanted to give him head, that's what he was thinking. And by the glint in your eye, he could tell that his thoughts were right. 

Giyuu cups your face reassuringly. "You don't need to, I'm here to please you-"

"P-Please," you breathed, your doe eyes staring deeply into his own.

He lets out a hopeless sigh before straddling your hips. "Alright, let me know at any time if it's too much."

"I will," you replied sitting up and Giyuu lays down onto the futon, allowing you to settle in between his thighs. 

You grasp the base of his cock with nervousness in your eyes, not really knowing what to do. Accidentally, you squeezed the base of his length and a deep groan strained itself from Giyuu's mouth, his head thrown back against the pillow while his hand shot down to grip yours.

"Sorry," you mumble.

Giyuu lets out a pleasured sigh. "No... that felt good, keep... keep going."

You nibble on your bottom lip unsure. "Well... what do I..."

"You can do it... you have to put your mouth-"

"Okay," you replied, a little bit too eagerly and Giyuu smiled at your cute reaction.

As your head descended and you gave his tip an experimenting lick, Giyuu snarled at the sensation. His abs and thighs stiffened. You were trying to take him as far as you could without gagging on his cock, so you were using your hand to jack off the part that wouldn't go in your mouth. 

Giyuu's groans grew louder, and he struggled to maintain his stance. Giyuu began to navigate your head through the tangles of your hair without your assistance as you relaxed your grip and let him to take over.

"See, you're doing so well," he groaned.

The whimpers escaping his mouth made it even more likely that your cunt would soak your pants—he was getting drier by the second.

Giyuu began to move faster, which caused you to cry even harder. He gave a muffled moan when you hollowed down your cheeks, which made him hesitant to get any closer. His seed spills into your mouth as he pulls away from you.

Giyuu's eyes widened in realisation of what he had just done. "Spit it out," he demands.

You were too conflicted to know whether to spit or to swallow so you simply followed Giyuu's order and let the cum spill from your mouth, the salty liquid getting spit out from your mouth beside the futon.

"Are you okay?" he asked hastily, sitting up and cradling your head.

You nodded, a smile coming onto your lips, "I am, Giyuu."

Giyuu pulled you in close to him, arms wrapped tightly around your figure with one hand on the back of your head, burying your face into his shoulder. He lets out a sigh of contentment. "I actually liked it," you add.

"You did...?" he replied confused, he thought that women wouldn't be fond of being the one to give oral.

"Yeah," you mumbled into his neck. "But I wanna bathe and shower now."

"We can do that," he replies, pressing soft kisses to the side of your head.

Do not copy, steal, modify, etc. Relogs and like are appreciated.

m.list | demon slayer m.list

[in-another-april]

hey carmen!!

i love your writing so so much:(( the way you characterize Spencer is so sweetie pie:((

Do you mind giving us some sweetie pie spencer bestie to lover content!! this is a suuperr niche request so no pressure obvie!!

i love love this request thank u so much!!! let me know if you want me to change anything, i hope u enjoy <3

Before you get together, there is going to be so much mutual pining. Spencer is a mixture of insecure and clueless, he really cannot tell that you're trying to hit on him. Even when he can, he dismisses it as him just taking it the wrong way, because surely someone as perfect and wonderful as you wouldn't like him like that, right?

Literally everyone except for the two of you can tell you're in love, he is so not subtle!! You're the first person he looks for in a room, he practically sprints to sit next to you before anyone else can, and he gets so, so pouty whenever someone else tries to flirt with you. One time you come into work complaining about forgetting your jacket at home and he jumps out of his chair insisting, "You can borrow mine!!"

And, yeah, he doesn't get any work done that day, too busy blushing and staring at you in his clothes.  You conveniently "forget" to give it back, and he conveniently "forgets" to ask.

You're always looking for an excuse to be near each other, to touch each other: You fall asleep on his shoulder on the jet, he rests his head against yours. He takes your hand when he notices you seem stressed, you affectionately brush your thumb along the back of his hand. One of you goes in for a hug, the other holds on just long enough to be considered more than friendly...

And you are both still so oblivious!! No matter how many times you go to look at him and find he's already staring at you. No matter how many times you’re both reading/looking at something for a case and he leans in way closer than necessary to see it. (“Spencer, don’t you have your own copy?” “…I… seem to have misplaced it.”) Neither of you ever confront these obvious feelings.

Until!!!

A new agent on your floor assumes you’re together, complimenting what a cute couple you are. Spencer, of course, loses it, getting all bright red and completely flustered because there is nothing more that he wants than to be considered your boyfriend, even if it’s just being mistaken as such. (He’ll take what he can get.) But you take his reaction as him being uncomfortable with the idea, and in an attempt to ease his concern (even if it does break your heart), you quickly correct them that oh, no, you’re just friends.

Then Spencer’s face falls and his heart is the one that’s breaking because why were you so quick to correct them? Do you really not like the idea of being with him that much? He knows it’s silly to be upset, you’re not together and you never did anything to suggest you were (completely wrong but we’ll let it slide) but there was a small part of him that really hoped that maybe, possibly, his feelings were reciprocated.

But now, clearly, they’re not, and he can’t help himself from avoiding you the next day because it hurts to be around you knowing he doesn’t have a chance. But then it only gets worse because it hurts just as much to be away from you, and you seem so concerned about him, and oh god he has no idea what to do with himself.

He comes to your apartment after work, and you somehow answer the door right as he starts to knock. The words struggle to come out at first, but then they do, and then he’s rambling, and it’s not entirely intelligible. But you get the gist, and it’s that he’s so in love with you! He seems so frantic that for the first time in your life, you want him to stop talking, so naturally you do what any other normal person would. Kiss him like your life depended on it. Right in your doorway. And. I don’t think there’s anything more I can (or should) say.  

masterlist | inbox ← requests open! ♡

taglist - @lover-of-books-and-tea @maskysluvr @aurorsworld @wisteriaspencer @radioactiveinvisible @mandarinmoons (send an ask or message to be added/removed!)

[teenidlegirl]

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀𝓑eauty 𝓞f 𝓣his 𝓜ess ♡ 𝓒hapter 𝓣hree

꒰⠀⠀⟡⠀.⠀military!miguel⠀𝓍⠀fem!neighbor!reader⠀.⠀⟡⠀⠀꒱

‧ ִ ۫⠀♱ 𝓢𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘. you plan to hang out with friends at the bar but don’t expect your neighbor there as well, nevertheless knows one of your friends. you decide to get to know each other more.

‧ ִ ۫⠀♱ 𝓒𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓. fluff, tension, swearing, mini backstories, reader wears acrylics, mentions of alcohol consumption

❛⠀ previous chapter⠀⋅⠀masterlist⠀⋅⠀next chapter ⠀❜

“wait wait wait, hold up. he offered to fix your shit whenever you need it?”

your friend lyla, since high school and basically a sister to you, has been freaking out over your story about your neighbor fixing your engine and sink and how he offered to help you when needed.

you shrug. “yeah, pretty much.”

“gurl, he’s definitely into you.”

you almost choke on your lemonade, coughing it back down your throat. “the fuck- no he’s not, lyla. jesus, it’s just a generous offer.”

she scoffs, rolling her eyes under her iconic hot pink heart shaped glasses. “gurl, please. he straight up fixed your engine without you even asking, which you said it was under 5 minutes.” she raises her index finger in a sassy manner. “and he fixed your sink and practically begged you to not pay him back. the man is a sweetheart and clearly into you, period.”

you stare at her with a deadpan expression. can’t believe what she said but it’s kinda true. he did fixed your engine without asking him, he just straight up did it. and he was serious about not paying him back.

but he’s definitely not into you.

“it’s called generosity, search it up. besides, it’s just neighbors helping neighbors.”

“oh my god, you’re so in denial but fine whatever.” she waves off with a hand. “but don’t come screaming back to me when he asks you out.”

you facepalm yourself, sighing frustratingly. “i’m gonna murder you.”

“aw love ya too, bestie.”

you got lyla’s reaction, now it was eddie’s turn.

“i told you!”

you stand there with an annoyed expression, staring at him with daggers. “cállete.”

“see?! i called it! man’s in the military!” he cheered, a prideful smile on his face that you wanna slap off.

“yeah, yeah.” you roll your eyes, walking away to your desk so you can sulk in peace.

“oh come on! it isn’t bad, honestly it’s a good thing. if case there’s trouble, he can help you.” he follows you, leaning back against his desk across from yours. “everyone knows not to fuck with those guys.”

a quiet sigh left your lips. “yeah, maybe. now can you stop celebrating and focus on the damn article which is due by the end of the day?” you shoot him a glare.

eddie chuckled, nodding. “alright alright, let’s get that shit done.”

⠀⠀⠀⠀𓂃 ୨ ₊ 𓂃 ౨ৎ   𓂃 ₊ ୧   𓂃

it’s friday night, hanging out at jackie’s. mj, your other friend, texted you she’ll pick you up so you can meet up with the guys there, peter, harry and eddie. after getting ready, a black crop top and some jeans, mj picks you up and you drive over to the bar.

entering the bar, which seems to be a bit packed tonight, you spot the guys sitting a table near the far corner. eddie and harry wave at you with smiles. passing through the crowd trying to not bump into people, you make your way towards your friends. but you’re walking, you notice peter is talking to someone. a tall, bulky figure whose dark brown hair and muscular shoulders you recognize any day.

oh shit- that’s your neighbor.

peter seems to notice your presence when he turns to see you and mj arriving, a bright, dorky smile plastered on his face. but your eyes are already glued on your neighbor, whose his eyes meets your own and match your surprised expression. your heart freezes the moment your eyes meet.

“hey!” he quickly walks over to mj and gives her a quick kiss which she reciprocates. “i want you guys to meet an old buddy of mine.”

he wraps an arm around miguel, giving his shoulder a light pat which miguel seems to be agitated about. “this is miguel, my old pal from high school.”

hold up- he knows peter? peter knows him?

they went to high school together?

what kind of fucking coincidence is this?

everyone greets him with kind hellos and smiles but you’re just staring at him with wide eyes. eddie winked at you which you glared in return. peter seems to notice the tension between you two.

“you uh know each other?” he gestures at you and miguel with a hand.

you blink feverishly, tearing away from his gaze. “uh yeah… we’re neighbors.” awkwardness in your tone.

you don’t miss the way peter’s eyes light up in enthusiasm. “no way! really? that’s cool! guess you won’t have to only talk to me, huh bud?” he gives miguel another pat on the shoulder.

miguel, on the other hand, still looks agitated and slightly embarrassed. shit maybe you made it more awkward for him. but peter is the one putting him on the spotlight so it’s not entirely your fault.

“cállete.” the taller man grumbles before giving you a quick glance then looks away.

you two don’t say much to each other after that awkward encounter. miguel joins you and your friends. you, mj and eddie on one side of the table. miguel, peter, and harry on the other. coincidentally you and miguel sit across from each other, acting as if you don’t know one another. it’s mainly everyone else keeping the conversation going while sipping on beer, you’ll participate like usual pretending his appearance doesn’t affect you. not in a bad way, it’s just odd yet amusing your neighbor is sitting across from you along with your group of friends.

throughout the night, you feel the tension between you and miguel. his eyes on you the entire time, making you feel warm. you play it cool, pretending it’s not affecting you but really it is. the tension wrapped around your neck. especially whenever you talk, oh you definitely feel his gaze. your heart pumping a bit faster than usual. it doesn’t make you feel uncomfortable, just nervous. your neighbor, a very attractive man, observing your every move.

when he isn’t looking at you, you’d sneak glances at him. you can’t help but admire the soft, golden lighting of the bar does wonders on his facial features. damn he looks majestic as hell. those cheekbones stick out. an amazing side profile. you quickly look away when he turns back, both of you unintentionally sipping your beer simultaneously.

later on, you notice your bottle is empty. one beer is enough for tonight, will ask for a water instead. after telling your friends you’ll be right back, you head over to the bar and politely ask for water. the bartender nods with a kind smile and retrieves your requested beverage. while waiting, you suddenly feel a presence next to you. looking aside, it’s miguel.

“otra moledo, pro fav.” he requests.

the bartender gives him a nod after he returns with your water. you thank him with a kind smile and take a sip of your water, not meeting miguel’s gaze.

“i guess we can never get away from each other.”

“i guess not.” he indulged in your joke.

“so, been friends since high school? sounds magical.” some sarcasm in your tone.

that earns you a light scoff from him. “con ese huevón, it’s the opposite.”

“figured.” a little smile on your face. “peter is special.”

“an idiot most of the time. surprised he’s engaged but good for him.”

“yeah, crazy but they’re good for each other.” you spare a glance at peter and mj.

his friend engaged to your friend. how can it be more of a fucking coincidence? goddamn.

“how did you guys become friends?” curiosity got the best of you. now, you finally look at him. sometimes you forget to crane all your neck up just to meet his eyes. curse him for being so damn tall.

the bartender returns with his moledo and miguel quickly thanks then takes a sip. “robotics club.”

your eyes widen. “you were in robotics club?”

he can hear the amusement in your tone. “what? is that so hard to believe?” he looks at you with a teasing expression, one brow arched.

you can’t help but chuckle a little. “honestly, by your demeanor, kinda.”

the man huffs, shaking his head with a very faint smile on his face. the very first smile you’ve ever seen. not to mention you caused it. you can’t deny the way your heart flutters at the sight.

“well, i was. before i got signed up, i was interested in robotics. since i was a kid, i liked building things.”

you tilt your head a little, evidently interested. “did you win any competitions?”

he confirms with a nod. “four.”

your brows raise in surprise. “damn, you really did enjoy building things, that’s pretty cool.”

the man huffs in amusement. “you?”

“me?” you scoff. “well, i definitely didn’t build cool stuff and won awards for them in high school.”

that earns you a quiet chuckle from him. a sound that makes your heart flutter. a sound you’ve never heard him make but you managed to do so.

you look off to the side, acrylic nails quietly tapping the glass filled with water. “i was a choir girl.”

what you don’t see is the tiny smirk on his face. “a choir girl? not surprised.” audible amusement in his tone, making you look back at him which causes his smirk to grow a bit wider.

“what do you mean by that?” your brows furrowed, a little smile on your lips.

“i heard you singing the other night.”

oh… shit.

singing is one of your hobbies. sometimes you’d sing in the shower, mainly when you used to live with no next door neighbor. but that one night he’s talking about, you were really in the mood and didn’t realize you were singing a bit louder than usual. as ironic as it is, you’re shy in singing in front of others, mainly people you don’t know or not in choir.

you forgot someone lived on the other side of the wall. he heard you and it was during the night. fuck, you could’ve woken him up. oh now you really wanna facepalm yourself out of embarrassment.

“oh shit… my bad. i’m sorry if i woke you. after five months of no next door neighbor, i got used to singing without worrying.”

miguel can see the panic and embarrassment illustrated on your face. a small wave of guilt hits him. “you didn’t, although i was surprised for a second but it’s fine so don’t feel bad.” he said reassuringly.

but truthfully, he enjoyed hearing you. such an angelic voice. it reminded him of aurora singing in the woods from sleeping beauty when he and his younger brother gabriel watched disney movies with the neighbors’ kids when he was a child.

the embarrassment still lingers in your veins. even though he reassured you it was okay, you still feel a bit guilty. now you have to remind yourself there is someone behind that wall, have to be respectful.

you haven’t realized your friends have been waiting for you to come back until you notice peter waving at you guys. eddie flashes a little smirk, making you glare in return. you’ve been standing here having your own tiny conversation that you completely forgot the friends you’re meant to hang with tonight.

���we should head back.” you softly chuckle, miguel nods as you both head back to the group.

⠀⠀⠀⠀𓂃 ୨ ₊ 𓂃 ౨ৎ   𓂃 ₊ ୧   𓂃

it’s a little past 11:00 pm when you decide to call it a night. the original plan was for mary jane to take you home but miguel offered to take you instead since you guys live in the same place. his offer surprised you but it makes sense so you accept.

mj gives you a teasing look, a very faint smirk and a raised brow but you roll your eyes and give her a hug, hoping it would shut her up.

why can’t people understand you’re just neighbors? or possibly friends? it’s annoying as hell.

you completely forgot this man drives a motorcycle. when you head over to where his bike is parked, you feel a bit anxious. it’s been years since you’ve rode one, not since your ex boyfriend from high school. he used to drive you around town when you two were supposed to be doing homework. it was the sweet teenage romance portrayed in movies.

miguel noticed your apprehension. his brows furrowed a little. “never ridden one before?”

“no i have, it’s just been years…”

“if you’re uncomfortable about it then we can take an uber but i promise you,” the sincerity in his tone makes you look up at him “you’ll be safe with me, i won’t let anything happen to you.”

whoa, his words your heart fluttered like crazy. those mesmerizing mahogany eyes boring into yours filled with sincerity makes your heart race.

“o-okay.”

hoping on the bike, with miguel’s assistance by holding your hand, you never realize how big motorcycles are. or maybe you’re just that short, either way the bike is big. not to mention it’s cold as hell, feeling the cold sensation through your jeans.

he passes his helmet to you. unfortunately, it’s the only one since he came by himself.

“wait- what about you?”

“don’t worry about it, chica. i’ve rode without one before so it’s no problem.”

you huff, a little smile on your lips as you put of the helmet. it’s big on you, even with the strap adjusted.

the minute he gets on the bike, black leather covers your vision. his broad back to you. the starting engine startles you a little. you don’t see the little smirk on miguel’s face at your reaction.

“¿estas lista?” his head turns to the side, seeing you from his peripheral.

you hum with a nod. at first, you’re hesitant to touch him since you’ve never been this close before. but you have no other choice so you have to. very slowly, you wrap your arms around his waist. touching him ever so lightly to not trigger his comfort.

miguel chuckled at your hesitation. “gotta hold on tighter, chica.”

you immediately do when he slowly starts driving off. clinging onto him like your life depends on it. not that he’s speeding like wild but because he’s only your source of security. like mentioned before, it’s been years since you’ve rode a motorcycle. but the warmth radiating from his body soothe your worries.

even through the leather, you can feel the warmth. all the worries of falling or slipping off the bike slowly fades away by the radiating warmth. you can’t help but relax, gently resting your head on his back, finding comfort in his body warmth. not only comfort but security too. there isn’t an exact reason why but just his strong, bulky presence makes you feel safe.

miguel can sense your relaxed self, making the corners of his lips lift up ever so slightly. breaking into a very small smile when you grip on his jacket a bit tighter when he makes a sharp turn. the small, muffled gasp escaping your lips.

for him, it’s been years since he taken someone on his bike. prior to signing up, in fact. some girl he was hanging out with but never got serious due to his departure. it was always him and his bike.

until now and he enjoys it.

the drive was quiet yet enjoyable, breezing through the streets. a rememberable moment. you return home safely. as miguel parked the bike and turned off the bike, you take the helmet off.

“you okay?” he asks, his head to the side.

“yeah, it was fun.”

he lightly smiled at that.

after hoping off the bike and handing back his helmet, you enter the complex building. miguel opens the entrance door for you. it made your heart skip a beat. what a gentleman.

“thanks for driving me home.” you said as you approach your apartment door.

“of course.” miguel walks over to his door.

“tonight was interesting.” a tiny smile on your face, recapping tonight’s memories.

he agrees with a hum. “yeah, never thought we would be in the same place.”

you nod slowly. “me either. well… night.” just as you reach for the door handle, his voice stops you.

“wait—” he softly calls out, causing you to look back at him. “is your sink working alright?”

you’re a bit surprised by his question, mainly the fact he remembers. it’s kinda sweet of him to remember still. “oh yeah, it’s fine. no problems since.”

“that’s good. no other problems?”

you think for a moment but thought of nothing. “nope, everything’s fine.” you lightly shake your head.

miguel hums in approval with a nod.

this man is really considerate. of course you remember his offer to fix things for you if needed. in fact, it never left your mind. so generous of him. sometimes you feel a bit guilty because he’s willing to fix your troubles, especially for free. you’re gonna convince him to pay him back one day.

you say goodnight to each other, miguel watching you enter your apartment before entering his own. ending the night with little knowledge of each other and a fun little journey back home.

the beginning of new journeys ahead… maybe?

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓. ♡ @reverieblondie @nina-from-317 @kavimoo @aly29a2001 @marshhbs @lazyjellyfish300 @tojishugetiddies @aphinthestars @novelaaaaaaaa @imamexican @obessgurlll @deputy-videogamer @watertribeissuperior @lovehadlovelost @auiciqa @agoddoesnotplead @saintdiior @whoopwhoppghost @tomalymme @skadiloki @miguelsfavwife @asterrrrose @glossygreene @aefin @youcantseem3 @resident-clown @kutsipie @zuevcs @totorotales-08 @meowgirl1

© teenidlegirl. don’t steal, plagiarize, or translate my work. ♡

[xoxochb]

hihihi i have a percy request pleasee

a black sheep aphrodite fem!reader, who was hurt by love once and now doesn’t believe in it so doesn’t really fit in w the rest of the cabin yk, and percy get stuck in a closet in a game of seven minutes of heaven??

please and ty my love

⋆·˚ ༘ * all because I liked a boy

warnings: none

pairing: percy jackson x daughter of aphrodite

aphrodite’s offsprings are always affiliated with love. there was never a case where one hated it, until you. you didn’t believe in it like you used to

you used to be in love once, it was with a boy who didn’t reciprocate your feelings. you spent months pining over him and when you finally worked up the guts to confess he rejected you, after that you haven’t believed love was real. how could it have been real if you spent months loving a boy just for him to not love you back?

unfortunately love was everywhere. in the books you read, in your cabin, in the air, wherever you looked, in conversations, you couldn’t escape it and it killed you.

on the other hand, percy jackson was enamored with you. every thought consisted of you, your face, your laugh, your smile, your voice, your hair, absolutely everything about you had him in a lovesick spell

there was a problem with this though: you didn’t believe in love. how could you ever love him back? he had an idea to fix this though, and it was genius

🌸

you sit uncomfortably in cabin ten. your friends sitting around in a circle, talking about love nonsense, nothing you care to listen to- that was until you heard your name linked with percy’s

“what?” you turn to many different faces looking for an answer

“you, percy, closet, seven minutes” silena points to the closet door with a smirk, and you look to percy who wears a similar expression

he stands up and holds a hand out for you, which you take and let him lead you to the closet

“is there a light in here?” percy asks upon closing the closet door

“it broke last week, we haven’t gotten a new one yet” you explain

“okay…”

you now stand uncomfortably

“can we talk?” you hear percy ask

“I suppose”

“good, good. uhm- well I don’t really have this planned out so I guess I’m just gonna say whatever comes to mind.” he takes in a deep breath before continuing, “I really like you, and I know that you don’t really ‘believe in love’ anymore because of some idiot who rejected you, but I want you to know that I would never do anything to hurt you, you mean a lot to me and I think that you deserve love, and before you say anything I know that you might have some issues with this which is why I want to assure you that I will treat you right. you know everything I do is always for you, I always make sure you’re comfortable in every situation, always make sure you’re staying alive when sick, I always put your needs before mine- if I had to chose between healing my stab wound before I die or healing yours before you die, I would chose you in a heartbeat, no hesitation whatsoever. I would do everything in my power to assure your happiness even if that means putting myself in life-threatening situations or pulling impossible stunts. If you wanted me to jump off the tallest mountain I would do it, if you wanted me to stab myself I would gladly do it, I’m not sure if this is enough to let you know that I would never break your heart, but I really mean it, swear it even, I swear on my life. anyways to wrap this up, I really love you, I hope you know that, and I’ll give you every right to reject me or hate me I just wanted you to know that I’ll always be here if you change your mind on the whole love situation.”

you stand in mere shock. how long has he been waiting to say this? (it had been since you met but he wouldn’t tell you this)

“percy?”

“yeah?”

“where are you?”

you feel around until his hands take hold of your elbows, keeping you in place. you rest your hands around his biceps before speaking again:

“do you mean it?”

“of course I do, angel”

there’s silence for a moment

“how many minutes left?”

“five maybe? why?”

“no reason” yes there is, you wanted to shamelessly make out with him. you couldn’t say that though

“y/n/n?”

“yeah?”

“can I kiss you?” oh so he’s a mind reader now?

“I would be lying if I said I didn’t want you to”

the moment he got confirmation his lips met yours. how he could see in the dark, you were unsure. but you were just glad you got your happy ending

[sotwk]

I have come so very close several times over the last few months to putting my blog on hiatus. Once or twice I even considered closing up shop completely and just going *poof*.

I believe people should take social media breaks whenever needed for their mental health--please put your well-being first! In my case, however, that's a tough decision to make, because online life and fanfic writing are my escape from real life problems and the anxiety I suffer from because of them. I avoid disclosing my Life's Great Burdens online, but I'm shouldering some whoppers, and the toll they take on my mental health can get significant!

What I really want to express in this post is my deepest appreciation for the Mutuals and Anons who take the time to engage with me through comments and Asks. You help keep my blog active and lively even during my creative droughts, and I want to give you credit!

I don't belong to any writing communities, I'm not active in any Discord servers, and I'm not really in any subgroups of the Tolkien fandom. I'm really just kind of a floater who tries to be friends with anyone who'd reciprocate. Sometimes that makes me feel a little bit like an outsider, but those lovely individual Moots and Anons keep me from feeling lonely or unwelcome.

Extra special thank yous to everyone, Mutual/Follower or not, who recently commented on/reblogged old fics of mine, especially those who did 2nd, 3rd, etc. kudos or comments! The longer I go without posting anything new, the harder I get on myself, and the worse my creative block gets. Thanks to your gentle encouragement, I actually started writing again yesterday. It's still a slow start, but hope it continues to flow.

And to the Anon(s) who regularly send me Asks about my OCs and WIPS--I don't even know what to say! I wish I could thank you properly for this BIG HELP you provide, but for now internet hugs will have to do.

Anyway! I guess the hiatus/desire to quit is once again shoved back into the closet for now. I will do my best to do my part of the work in keeping this blog thriving! :)

PS. Anyone still waiting for responses to requests (esp. for my long-past Summer event)--I'm still game to write if you are willing to wait. <3

[seriesxwriting]

I can’t get you off my mind <3

- w Rafe Cameron

Series: outer banks

warnings: Swearing, kissing, female objectifying (by topper).

Summary: topper stirs the pot by lying about what rafe was doing at the party last night. Do you believe him or not?

𝐑𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬, 𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 <𝟑

“What are you doing later? Do you wanna stay?” I mumbled into his top. I was laying on his chest and we were wrapped up in my green flowery covers. His arm was around me resting on my hip, he was wearing a black T-shirt so I could see his muscles where the sleeves ended. My right hand was on his bicep. I liked just holding onto it. “You want me to stay already, I’ve only been round twice” he giggled making me look up at him. His blue eyes staring deep into mine.

“Not to do anything” I shoved his face jokingly “I just like your company- you ever had a girl say that to you before?” I raised my eyebrow when he looked back at me with his famous smirk. “Something similar, but I’ve never reciprocated that” he told me dragging his thumb across my jawline. “No? Never?” I smiled showing my teeth, his head bent down. “I’ve never liked anyone like I like you” he licked his lips before pressing them against mine hungrily.

Me and Rafe were in what the kids call today a ‘talking stage’. He claims to have these deep feelings for me and I know I have them for him. Who on figure eight didn’t have those feelings for Rafe Cameron. He was in the year above me and everyone in my year creamed over the sight of him, I know it was the same for the girls in his year and even probably some of the boys. But with the reputation of Rafe Cameron I asked him to keep us on the low down.

We’d only told our friends really and we never went to crowed public places together. I wanted to just share this with him right now, so I can build trust with him and see if there is any room for a relationship.

“So, are you staying?” I questioned pulling away from him and running a thumb across his lips. “As much as I’m tempted right now, I’ve already rsvp’ed to a party” he told me tucking my hair behind my ear. My stomach sank. The weather had been crap recently, it had been storm after storm after storm. There hadn’t been any party’s not since me and Rafe started talking. “I know, this is the first one huh” he raised his eyebrow as if he could read my mind. “Yeah” I answered smally. “I told you that I’m going to prove to you my reputation don’t apply to you”.

“I hope that’s the case” I smiled taking his hand in mine and playing with his fingers. I rolled over onto my back so I could look at the ceiling. “I promise you, no drugs, no hoes, just me, the boys and a few beers” “but what if they egg you on?” “Babe I have my own mind, you’re all that’s on it” he grabbed me by the waist and pulled me back towards him. His arms wrapped around my torso and his head in the crease of my neck. “Okay Rafe” I kissed the top of his head. He kissed my neck and then my jaw in response.

We stayed wrapped up just talking for a couple of hours before Rafe left me with a long kiss to remember him by before he went to his party. I didn’t know who was hosting it, but the fact that I wasn’t invited meant it was probably one of rafes drug friends that hadn’t gone to school with us. His replies weren’t too bad at the beginning of the night. But around eleven ish he stopped replying to my texts. I gave it two hours before I rolled my eyes and went to sleep.

In the morning I woke up to rays of sunshine slipping through my blinds and onto my face. I rolled over after rubbing my eyes and snapped my charger out of my phone. Rafe had replied, and also added a good morning text on the end of it. I smiled to myself forgetting all the worry and negativity I was feeling last night. I answered him back before getting up to go and brush my teeth. He asked me what my plans were for the day and seems I never do anything on a Sunday I told him I was free. He invited me round his and seems the weather was nice, told me to bring my swimming costume.

I quickly showed and got myself all ready to go to rafes. He lived a five minute walk away so I chose to not take my car and soak up the sun as I made my way to his house. As I turned the corner topper was driving past me. He slowed down stopping next to me and looked me up and down. “Hey y/n, looking good these days” “you alright top?” I nodded at him gripping my bag tightly. I felt uncomfortable under his gaze. “Not too bad, just heading down to the beach to meet kelce, where you off to?”.

“Going round rafes, think we’re just going to chill by the pool” l shrugged looking around the street. “Oh? Didn’t realise you guys were still on tings” his eyebrows slammed up and this shocked look spread across his face. It looked so genuine. “Why’d you think that? Has he said something” “no- no he hasn’t said anything, just thought well- the things he was doing last night didn’t exactly scream happy in a relationship”. My heart sank. “What- what things top?” I questioned walking closer to his car.

“I don’t wanna mess anything up y/n- look maybe it was all just- an accident because he was high” topper but his hands up in defence. “but he told me he wasn’t going to do any drugs” my eye slimmed as my heart kept cracking. It was getting closer and closer to shattering. “Maybe I should just stop talking” “no topper- please tell me what happened” I begged with my eyes, they were probably glossy in the moment. “You wanna know more? Or I can take you back to mine and I can show you how a real man treats a girl like you” he shinned at me.

“You’re a pig” I stepped back scowling at him. “Let me know if you change your mind babe, I can be a rebound” he winked at me before pulling away from the curb and driving on. I watched as his car got smaller and smaller down the road. My eyes were fighting back the waves right now. My heart physically hurt. I turned back the way I’d come and went straight back home. I bravely walked past my parents but as soon as I reached my bed my eyes started leaking. I didn’t bother changing I just flopped onto my mattress and cried into it. My covers still smelt of Rafe. That made everything worse.

—————————four days later————————

I’d avoided Rafe for four days. He’d spammed my phone for the first two, the texts got less and less over the next two days. Probably because he came to my house and I got my father to turn him away. Nothings more scary than the dad of the girl you’ve hurt. I’d seen him around school but I dodge him and was able to hide anytime he saw me. I’d turn the other way, drive off as quickly as possible. Left no room for him to start conversation. I didn’t want to talk to him, look at him, fall for him again by him waving a wand and saying sorry.

I had to be strong. But it was day five now meaning we’d reached Friday. And this Friday was the film night. Me and my friends had been planning out the snacks and the chairs and the pillows and the blankets we were bringing for months now. There was no way I could get out of it. There was a possibility Rafe would be there, it wouldn’t be a hundred percent but there was a chance.

The car stopped in the car park and the girls got out with all our stuff, ready to find a space and set it all down. “Y/n do you wanna go get the drinks?” One of my friends asked with a big smile. I nodded feeling slightly hesitant. They wouldn’t let me use Rafe as an excuse, none of them were surprised when I told them what happened. It was kind of disheartening, I thought my friends would be way more supportive. I wondered towards the drinks table before hearing a “y/n! what’s up”. I turn around to see Rafe walking away from his boy group and towards me. He tried to do it calmly acting like he didn’t care in front of his friends “Rafe- um- not much” I turned from him giving him my back. But I could see the panic on his face.

He raced in front to catch me so I was looking at him “how are you, why are you avoiding me?” He questioned looking down at me. Our bodies were almost touching and he was leaning in close to my face whispering. I got goosebumps. “I should have known you were playing a game Rafe” I folded my arms creating space between us. “What are you talking about y/n, I can’t get you off my mind, what games” his hand flew up to his temple as if he was desperate. His eyes looked sad as he stared directly into mine. It wasn’t like that day he was at mine, they were desperate now not flirty. “Uh it’s such a shame Rafe- I really thought we had something” I shook my head stepping backwards.

“Top told me what happened at the party Rafe”. The words felt like I was being stabbed in the heart all over again. I wanted to melt into the floor. His eyes widened and his teeth gritted together. He really looked like he was going to give up and admit what he’d done. “The fuck you mean topper told you? Told you what?” Rafe shook his head pulling a face of disgust as if I didn’t know what I was talking about. I just laughed and began to walk off. He grabbed my hand and pulled me back staring into my eyes hard. “Y/n, I didn’t do anything at that party, I promise” “that’s not what he told me”. Rafe looked across at the boys before saying “Come on then” he interlocked our fingers and pulled me over to his group.

“Rafe- please no” I shook my head trying to pull back. “I’ve got you I promise” he rubbed my my hand. “Top, what is this about you telling y/n I was doing shit at the party, what type of shit?” Rafe question raising an eyebrow. All the boys turned to look at topper. He looked around before looking me up and down. I was wearing Jean shorts and a little lacy white top, his glare always felt so sexualising and uncomfortable. He started laughing as if he didn’t know what to say, his arms came out and then slapped his knees.

“Does anyone else remember me doing shit at the party?” He looked around the group and all the boys either shook their heads or shrugged. “So- why’d you stop replying to me?” I asked him in a small, innocent voice. “Around eleven?” Kelce asked me, I nodded my head a bit confused about how he knew. “Rafes phone died so he went to put it on charge in the kitchen, but we were outside”. I turned back to rafe and he was looking at me already, as if to say I told you so. I self consciously wrapped my arms around my waist. He saw this and took a step closer to me putting an arm on my shoulder blade.

Rafe then turned back to topper “what the hell did you say bro?” “I may have indicated that you did some drugs- and acted- un loyally” topper shrugged with a smirk on his face not caring at all that he’d caused massive problems between me and Rafe. “Why would you lie to me? I’ve never done wrong by you topper” I frowned furiously, wanting to know the why behind all this. “Same reason rafe’s with you, to get you into bed” he shrugged as if that wasn’t disgustingly downgrading, uncouth and disrespectful. I stood there horrified, my stomach twisted.

“Don’t fucking talk to her like that” Rafe made a massive step towards topper but the boys all jumped up and held him back. “Calm the fuck down Rafe, she’s just a girl” “she’s my fucking girl topper! You remember that!” rafe pointed at him angrily shouting and struggling against the boys. At this point lots of people were looking towards our little group. “You’re telling me you actually have feelings for her?” Topper threw his head back laughing.

“Yes! I fucking do! And you almost ruined it, your a selfish bastard- get the fuck out of here” Rafe pulled away from the boys backing up next to me again. “Rafe calm down- I didn’t think it was that deep” “it is” he replied, still pointing at him in furry. “Go home” Rafe ordered moving his hand now to the truck. Topper looked around for support from the other boys but he didn’t receive it. “Fine, god you’re so sensitive these days” topper rolled his eyes picking up his chair.

Rafe watched as he packed up his things and got into his car without looking back. “I can’t believe he’d make shit up because he wanted to sleep with your girl” kelce scoffed watching as the car drove away. “I promise you y/n nothing happened at that party, you have this guy wrapped around your finger, there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for you, you’re all he talks about, the way he smiles when you text him- I’ve never seen him like this” kelce relayed to me confidently, making Rafe stand there awkwardly rubbing his arm and turning bright red.

“Shall we go and talk?” I smiled genuinely brushing his arm with one finger, Rafe nodded his head and threw his arm around my shoulders like a scarf as we left. But before we did he gave a little head nod to his friend as a sign of respect to him. Me and Rafe went over to the side of the field where it was a little quieter. We sat down on a bench and I took his hand playing with his fingers. “I’m sorry I didn’t just- speak to you about it” I sighed talking in a small voice, I was embarrassed about how I handled the situation.

“Y/n I’m not mad at you, I’m not surprised you believe him I know I- have a reputation” rafe chewed on his lip, looking around. “But I’m done with all that, túnel visón now only, ya know” he nodded to make sure I agreed with him. “You really like me?” “There’s no words for how much I like you babe, but yeah let’s go with that” he smirked, I put my hand on his cheek and mirrored his smirk before leaning in to kiss him.

He kissed me like he thought he’d never have the chance to again. He kissed me like he had missed me and that I loved. I matched his energy feeling my insides grow butterfly’s and my cheeks get hot. “I really like you back Rafe” I whispered leaning my forehead against his. “So no more secrets? Let’s be official, that way you can come to the parties with me” he smirked rubbing my cheek with his rough thumb. I nodded excitedly throwing my arms around his neck hugging him.

“Gosh, the privilege of being your first girlfriend” I giggled. He squeezed me “first and last, babe”.

Rafe Cameron masterlist

Outer banks masterlist

All series masterlist

Masterlist of masterlists

[heartfeltcherie]

Hi, I was wondering if you could do a Lucifer x Reader one-shot inspired by the song 'Starlight' by Taylor Swift?

— i hope this suffices!

☾. °.   ࿐  ` , •

you were dressed up to the nines; a lavender dress that suited you so perfectly it was like it was made for you.

at least, that’s what lucifer thought.

as you stood at the top of the lounge area on the second floor looking down, lucifer swore his eyes were in the shape of hearts. you looked so beautiful, so ethereal as you cascaded down the stairs.

“ducky…” lucifer spoke up. “you look… y-you look… so beautiful” you let out a giggle at how adorably awkward the king of hell was. as soon as you got to the bottom of the stairs, you grabbed both sides of your dress in a curtsy. “your grace”

lucifer chuckled at you, giving you a bow while at the same time taking your hand in his and pressing his lips gently against your knuckles “you know there’s no need for formalities, sweetie” you giggled as you felt your face heat up. “i know. but i figured the moment called for some”

“you know what else this moment calls for?”

“hm?”

lucifer guides you by your hand to the middle of the room. and with a little bit of magic, a slow but sweet melody begins playing, the lights dim and suddenly you’re not at the hotel anymore. instead, you’re transported to somewhere magical where it’s just your beloved king and yourself. your hand is on his shoulder while his takes purchase on your hip and your free hands clasp each other.

he leads you all around the room, your dress swaying so effortlessly and when we twirls you, you feel like a princess.

in which this case, you are.

“you know, luci, if this is your attempt at courting me, you’re doing a pretty good job at it” lucifer lets out a low hum. “i’ll keep that in mind” he twirls you under his hand again before reeling you back in and dipping you so effortlessly. and he holds you there for a moment, long enough that you both look into each other’s eyes and you swear you see his eyes gleam while he knows that you’ve got the prettiest eyes he’s ever seen.

he brings you both back up, your arms now going around his neck while his go around your waist.

“maybe it’s about time i bring the little black box out of hiding. what do you think?” lucifer asks and you feel your heart jump. your eyes dart between his left and right eye, looking for any signs that it’s just him being silly.

he’s serious.

“i think… i think you already know my answer, my handsome angel”

“then i can’t wait to put the ring on your finger when i ask you to be mine forever, dovey”

he leans in for a kiss and you happily reciprocate. he’ holding onto your sides as if he’s scared you’ll disappear while your fingers are going into his blonde locks.

the melody in the background continues to play and you both know one thing; that you’re love was made of starlight.

tags; @crystalrayn @drxgonspine @alastorthirsty @speedycoffeedelight

comments/reblogs are appreciated! ♡ let me know if you wanna be added to the taglist!

check out our discord server! click this link :)

[shamelesstrekkie13]

Jason Gideon x Reader (fight + smut)

Warnings: smut, +18, a bit of cursing

Summary: Basically Jason says something hurtful to the Reader, and has to beg for her forgiveness.

It’s not my best work but it won’t get any better, so here it is. Constructive criticism always welcome!

The gif isn’t mine!

His head was pounding. The last case had certainly been rough. Child cases were always rough. And so he was in his office, thinking about said case, going over it, again and again. Sure, it had been a happy ending, but a lot of mistakes were made.

Half an hour later, his head felt like it was about to explode. The door to his office opened, and an agent came in. He didn’t even bother looking up before asking a “What?!” quite rudely.

“Love, are you okay? I know child cases are rough, but you look like you need a pick me up.”

Only when he heard her voice did he look up. She was looking stunningly gorgeous, as always. He looked at her for half a second before saying,

“I’m fine, you can go home.”

She very clearly frowned at that. It didn’t make much sense, because he had never treated her that way, nor did he ever tell her to go home without him. He had always been so sweet and touchy with her. To the point that some might call him ‘clingy’, even though she would never. It was their way of loving each other. Their love language was and still is physical touch. She loved him for that.

So she came closer to him, and touched his arm affectionately.

“Are you sure? I can stay if you’d like.” She smiled, with a smile that could light up the whole town. But he didn’t see it, because he wasn’t looking at her.

He pulled away, and for the first time in all the years they had known each other he snapped at her.

“Will you just go home? I need to be alone, and you’re not helping.” She was surprised, to say the least. A little bit offended too, though she couldn’t hold it over his head. Everyone needed some alone time every now and then. That didn’t make the whole situation any less weird.

He usually loved her touch, and now he looked disgusted by it. The way he had pulled away from her, as if her touch was capable of killing him, made no sense to her.

“What’s going on with you? You’re never like this!”

Normally she wouldn’t have gone against his wishes, because as a reasonable and logical person, she could see that needing time alone was a perfectly normal thing. But it was his reaction at her that made her stay. She didn’t want to leave the conversation like that, because then, when she got home, she would definitely overthink this whole thing.

He stood up and hit the table hard, so fast that if she had blinked she would’ve missed it.

“I told you that I need to be alone! God, why are you so fucking clingy?”

And just like that, she felt a thousand new holes in her heart appear. Sure, she had been told before that she was a little too touchy, but he was the only person that loved her being touchy. He was the only one that reciprocated her touch equally. Without him, what did she have in this world?

She took a step back, in shock.

Realising what he had said, he tried to get to her. But she kept her distance.

“Wow. I expected that from a lot of people, but not from you. Never from you.”

He tried to get to her again when he saw her deep, beautiful, full of life eyes filled with tears. He never had wanted to hurt her. She was his everything. He was nothing without her.

And now, his companion, his best friend, his partner, the love of his life was looking at him like he had shattered her heart. And he had.

He stayed still, not wanting her to walk further away.

“I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.” He tried to get her to see how much he meant those words. But she didn’t care.

“Yes, you did. Otherwise you wouldn’t have said that to begin with.” Her voice clearly trembled as she turned around and went for the door.

He got to her first, and grabbed her wrist.

“I promise you I didn’t mean it. Please.” She didn’t know what he was begging for. She just knew that she had to get out of there.

And in her heartbroken state, she couldn’t see how terrified he was of her going away.

“Please, let me go.” She said. He couldn’t. Even if he could, he wouldn’t. He kept his grip on her firm, and when he spoke his voice was trembling.

“I can’t. You’re my everything. I won’t make it out here without you.”

She shook her head. In her mind, if that were true, then he would’ve never put them both in this position to begin with. She also didn’t catch the phrasing when he said he ‘won’t’ make it out. He meant that he had no intention whatsoever of making it out without her. He wouldn’t even try.

He took her face in his hands and kissed her, trying to make her remember. Remember how much they loved each other, and how much they needed each other. At least he did. He wiped her tears with his thumb, hating himself for being the cause of her distress and making her think that he didn’t love every single piece of her.

She tried to free herself, before the kiss changed her mind, but his grip was ironclad on her. When he saw that his words didn’t have any effect on her, he fell on his knees. At this point he was desperate. He could feel her slipping away through his fingers, and he was desperate to stop her from leaving.

“Jason. Let me go. I need to be alone.” She was being a little bit petty, because she didn’t say that because she truly needed to be alone, she said it because he had used that excuse on her, right before this mess.

It had the desired effect. He froze, and he saw no choice but to let her go. He wouldn’t force her to be close to him if she didn’t want to.

And so he let her go. In two big strides she was already gone. And he felt more alone than he had ever felt in his whole life.

He knew that he was alone from now on. She finally saw who he was, how old he was, and the fact that as gorgeous, as funny, as smart as she was, she could have whoever she wanted. And he knew that she realised that she didn’t have to settle with him. He knew that it was true, she deserved someone her age, someone just as attractive, just as funny as her. And he knew that wasn’t him.

He wiped the tears that he didn’t know he had streaming down his cheeks. He got up and left the office. He knew that she had all the right in the world to be alone, so he reserved a room at the closest hotel to the Bureau's offices.

He didn’t know that, even as disappointed as she was, being a hopeless romantic, she wanted him to come after her, to throw pebbles at her window screaming “I’m in love with you”. She wanted him at the other side of her door, pledging his undying love for her.

Three full days had gone by without the couple contacting each other. Neither of them slept either nights. He was going crazy. Only now did he realise how truly touch starved he was, and how much he missed her.

After the initial wave of raging emotions had passed, she could think clearly again. She thought about calling him, about trying to work things out. After all, anyone could have a bad day, and she hadn’t exactly listened to him when he had asked her to leave him alone for a while.

The problem is that she felt personally attacked when he had called her ‘clingy’. She was told before that she was too clingy, and that caused her to retreat into herself. She became distant and pushed everyone away for fear of being ‘too much’. It had been a problem since her early teenage years. She didn’t know if it was the bad mood talking or if that was actually what he felt, what he had been feeling for all the time they were together.

After a while she came to the conclusion that that wasn’t possible. She remembered things that she couldn’t remember when she was in front of him. He had initiated touch with her several times. Anytime she touched him he always leaned against her. He loved hugging her, he loved kissing her. He treated her like a queen, and she definitely treated him like a king. It was the treatment he deserved. When they had sex, it was the most magical thing ever, and she knew for a fact that it was the same for him. He had never made any excuses to avoid touching her or to avoid her touch.

That was when the guilt began to appear. She had been most certainly harsh with him. She didn’t take his need for some time alone seriously, and that led to him snapping at her. Which was wrong, but she understood. Mistakes happen. It wasn’t worth throwing away their once in a lifetime relationship. She thought of calling him, but then told herself that something like this should be told in person.

The next morning, when she arrived at the office, he was already there, on his desk. She could see him through the blinds. He looked stunning, but he also looked tired. Very tired.

He had been trying to work for the past two hours, without any success. He couldn’t stop thinking about her, her smile, her sarcastic remarks, her beauty.

Suddenly, the door opened, and she appeared. For a heartbeat he thought that he might’ve been hallucinating. But she was truly there.

He didn’t dare to speak. If they had been married, he was certain she would have been serving the divorce papers by now.

“I think we need to talk,” she said. “Is this a good moment?”

He definitely took notice of the fact that she never had asked that question before. Because he had made it very clear that ‘always’ was the answer for her. And he hated himself for making her think that she had to ask that question.

“Always. It’s always a good moment for you.” He didn’t dare to move, just in case he frightened her, so she was the one that came closer, and sat down on one of the chairs in front of his desk.

“I’m aware that I should’ve respected your desire to be alone, but that doesn’t excuse what you said,” she said. She waited for his reaction, because after that fight she wasn’t sure how he would react.

“You’re right. Even if I wanted to be alone, I never should’ve treated you that way. You deserve better,” he paused, and then realised that most men said that as a way of breaking up, so he continued, “I’m not saying this to break up. I know you deserve better, but I’m too selfish to let you go.” He was surprised to see her smile at that.

“I don’t think this fight is worth throwing our relationship away. I understand that people make mistakes. And I do believe in second chances.” He closed his eyes, while relief overwhelmed him. “I don’t do third chances, though. I admit I’m at fault too, but if you ever use my insecurities against me again I will kick you out of my life.”

He stood up. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“I didn’t use your insecurities against you.” She frowned, but before she could say anything, he continued talking. “I said something terrible, but I didn’t say it with your insecurities in mind. I’m not trying to excuse myself, I hate myself for hurting the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I just wanted you to know, I would never do that.”

She understood what he meant. He lashed out at her, but he didn’t call her ‘clingy’ with her insecurity in mind. That made things only a little less worse. And his grovelling was making her feel a little bit better.

She stood up too, walked around the desk until she was right in front of him.

“Again, I know this was partly my fault. But if you ever say anything like that again… I don’t think I’ll be able to continue the relationship.” She wanted to make him understand that while she did admit that she shouldn’t have pressured him, which is what caused him to snap. But he shouldn’t have said the things he said. Ever. And that meant that this was his last chance.

“I thought you wouldn’t want to continue the relationship now, given what that insult means to you…” She was close enough to him that he could kiss her and hug her, but he didn’t know how she would take that. “I’m really glad that you’re able to forgive me, though.”

She was really close to him. And he wanted to kiss her, more than anything he had ever wanted. She was smiling at him, and he thought to himself that he couldn’t wait any longer, and if she had forgiven him then she would probably let him kiss her.

So he did. He leaned towards her and their lips met. It was a sweet, slow kiss. Until she decided she wanted more. She deepened the kiss and suddenly they were straight up making out. Their tongues met, and he relished on her flavour. He couldn’t resist and pushed her gently towards his desk, and laid her down. Kissing her stomach, he unbuttoned her pants and took them off. The door wasn’t even locked, but neither of them wanted to lock it. It made everything more exciting.

He kissed her thighs, licked and even bit them, while she whimpered at his touch, which made him smile. He took his time before kissing her labia, and then sucked it. She started to moan loudly, and so he whispered against her vagina, saying “be quiet, we can’t let everyone know what we’re doing in here.” His whisper turned her even more on than she already was. She felt his breath on her vagina, and she was hot everywhere. She needed his touch everywhere.

By the time he was penetrating her, she was a complete mess. A gorgeous mess in his eyes, but still a mess. The mess that he wanted. And he would never let her go.

She felt just as good as their first time together. People say that after the honeymoon phase of the relationship is over, then everything changes, including sex. That had never happened to them. And he loved that. He loved that she screamed his name just as loud as she did their first time. He loved that he still got red scratches on his back due to her passion.

The moment he penetrated her, her hands went straight to his back, to get ahold of him, while at the same time scratching him. Her nails trailed from up to down his back, with a lot of strength, leaving marks behind.

The way he was filling her up meant that she would orgasm very soon. Especially because he knew what he was doing. He was kissing her neck, sucking and licking, while one of his hands was gripping her thigh with an iron grip, and his other hand was on her clit, which he found effortlessly. Massaging her, his calloused hands on her clit were driving her insane.

In those 20 minutes she came several times, and she came hard. It was mind blowing, like it always was with him.

[onesidedradiostatic]

I'd like to know your full opinion on shipping Alastor, despite him being AroAce. I've seen conflicting opinions on it from AroAce People. I've seen some AroAce people say that shipping is taking away rep(and point out that people would be pissed if this was done to, say, Angel Dust), but I've seen other AroAce people saying it's fine and it's a spectrum. (A friend of mine who I believe is aroace takes it into consideration and makes it part of the shipping and story) Personally I'm on the spectrum(gray-ace and demiromantic), but I'm not AroAce in the way people usually think so I'm not sure I have a right to comment on it. I can also see both sides of the conversation.

(I had this in my drafts for a bit now so this ask is old)

I've mentioned time and time again, I personally do not like reciprocated romantic alastor ships. and as someone who possibly falls more under greyro (idfk man), I do not believe alastor falls under that either CANONICALLY, it's just pretty clear to me from the rosie dialogue that alastor is specifically an aroace who is not into dating

but I will not police people for what they ship and I do not think harassment is okay, there's definitely better things to spend your energy on anyways. if it were up to me, the only thing that would exist are one-sided and qpr alastor ships, but it's not up to me, so it is what it is.

it's whatever really, what I care most about is that people don't try to insist he's not aroace in canon to try to give themselves hope that their ship will happen. I care more about our canonical rep (*cough* just fucking solidly confirm it vivzie *cough*) than what people do in fanon even if I don't like it. ultimately, I stay in my own space and don't bother those people as long as they don't bother me.

the main issue with like all of this, why these constant arguments over what type of aroace alastor is exist, is that alastor is our ONLY aspec rep. the aspec community is so varied, favourable, neutral, repulsed, aroallo, alloace, aroace, demi, grey. one singular character cannot possibly singlehandedly encompass ALL our different experiences. he is only ever going to represent one type of aroace, one type of aspec. because he is a singular character. I genuinely think the worst thing to come out of alastor shipping discourse is the amount of aspec infighting I've seen. at the end of the day, we're all starving and we're all fighting over a character who will only ever represent one specific type of aroace.

it's like if every mlm/wlw person only got ONE mlm/wlw character, you may see gay people/lesbians and mspecs fighting over that character because they want the character to represent them, arguing over how mspecs should be allowed to use that character to represent their mspec attraction or gay people/lesbians arguing that the character should firmly remain exclusively attracted to men/women to represent them.

it's a case of people desperately wanting to be represented and aspecs are so underrepresented we never get to see everyone fully represented in a single piece of media.

[aanoia]

Orphic (pt.2)

pairing; Ao'nung x Sully!reader Orphic; (adj.) mysterious and entrancing; beyond ordinary understanding words; 4,727 warnings; injury, mentions of death Pt. 1; Pt. 3 I'd like to quickly explain why the Metkayina kids call Lo'ak and Kiri "four-fingered" freaks instead of "five-fingered" freaks, because I was confused about it for a while. The gist of it is that the Na'vi don't consider the thumb a finger, so techincally the pure Na'vi have three fingers and a thumb, and those with human blood have four fingers and a thumb :) (maybe I'm just stupid but yeah in case anyone shared the same confusion) Personally, I think this chapter is better quality. Eventually, I'll go back and heavily revise chapter one :) If you have any contstructive criticism PLEASE dm me, I'd love love love to hear from others on how I can improve my writing. It's always been a silly little dream of mine to publish my own novel, and I'll accept any help I can get.

The sea clans are a world unto themselves.

The salty, warm air tickles her nose as she breathes deeply. The sea and the magnificent creatures it houses are truly beautiful. Her father had once explained the concept of a vacation to the girl, a getaway to escape life for a short amount of time. For the time being, the girl has decided to push aside the grief of leaving behind her home, and she'll simply view their absence as a vacation.

Thousands of islands. An known territory into which we could just vanish without a trace.

“Are we there yet?” Tuk breaks the silence, her voice laced with sleep.

Y/n's lips curve upwards, “Look.” She points to the approaching island, thick with foliage and beaches around the edges. Tuk’s face lights up, and upon passing the reef, the water below lightens significantly. The Metkayina people holler and whoop at the sight of newcomers, both out of fear and wonder. The differences between these people and the ones in air are stark and noticeable. A Na'vi blows air through a large conch shell, which emits a horn sound to alert the village of the family approaching. 

The beauty of the village and its intricately woven maruis entrance Y/n, and she gazes at it in wonder.  Her father yips, and the Sully family finally lands on a patch of sand. The ikrans squawk loudly, their wings finally finding rest. the family dismounts, and the foreign feeling of sand beneath Y/n's toes makes her smile. Her leg has healed enough to no longer need crutches, much to her father's dismay, she's able to limp forward without any assistance. 

“Hey, leave it.” Her father gently instructs his mate. “On me.” She glares at Jake for a second, before reluctantly leaving her father's bow on her ikran. 

“Who are they?” Tuk asks her mother softly.

Neytiri's eyes scan the crowd with a scrutinizing gaze, “Be nice.” She responds. 

As a sign of peace, Jake holds his hands up in an attempt to prove he means no harm. He's the head of the family, and Y/n stands next in front of Kiri and her brothers, almost in a protective way. The crowd parts, and a large boy walks through, his held high. A smaller boy with kind eyes follows him dutifully. The first boy intrigues Y/n, and she keeps eyes on him. Her brothers quietly sign ‘I See You’ to the two, but neither reciprocate. 

“Easy, just be cool.” Jake leads his family. The tall boy stalks behind Y/n and her siblings, and studies their tails with a weird look. 

“What is that?” The smaller boy asks, pointing at Neteyam’s tail. 

“Is that supposed to be a tail?” This time it was the taller boy that spoke. The crowd murmurs, a few laughing, and Y/n hisses softly at him, which earned her a stern look from her father. She sighs and instead looks at the sand. A beautiful girl emerges girl emerges from the sea, and Y/n can hear Lo'ak’s breath catch. She exchanges a knowing look with Neteyam, a small grin on their faces. 

“It’s too small. How are they supposed to swim?” The small one questions.

The girl slaps the boy's hand, “Enough, Rotxo, Ao’nung.” She scolds quietly and turns to the foreign family with a gentle face.

“Hey.” Lo’ak says smoothly, and Y/n glances at him weirdly as the girl laughs shyly. Y/n’s attention shifts to yelping, and a man mounted on a large flying fish lands in the water. He dismounts gracefully, and his status as Olo’eyktan is apparent by his dressings.

Tonowari was the chief of the Metkayina, the Reef People. 

“Olo’eyktan. I See you, Tonowari.” Jake touches his hand to his forehead and extends it to the man.

Tonowari does the same, “Jakesully.” His voice is rough, but has a kind undertone to it. 

I knew he was a tough leader. But it wasn’t Tonowari I was worried about. 

An intimidating woman, makes her way through the crowd, staring at the family with caution in her large eyes. Y/n knows she is Ronal, the Tsahik of the Metkayina.

“I See you, Ronal. Tsahik of the Metkayina.” Her mother and father extend the same greeting. 

“Why do you come to us, Jakesully?” Tonowari asks, glancing at the faces in his group.

“We seek uturu.” 

“Uturu?”  Ronal asks incredulously.

Jake nods, “Yes, a sanctuary for my family.” Ronal steps forward as Tonowari speaks.

“We are Reef People. You are Forest People. Your skills will mean nothing here.” Y/n bows her head as Ronal passes her. She silently greets her with her fingers to her forehead. Ronal narrows her eyes at her leg, but moves past her without a word. 

“But we will learn your ways. Am I right?” He asks his mate, who gives a curt nod.

“Yes.” Ronal grabs Neytiri’s tail, inspecting it. She drops it and takes Tuk’s arm.

“Their arms are thin. Their tails are weak.” Kiri yelps as Ronal takes hold of her tail. “You will be slow in the water.” She grabs Kiri’s wrist, and looks at her hands. Y/n has to refrain from showing any irritation. “These children are not even true Na’vi!” 

The crowd gasps as Kiri tugs her hands away, “Yes, we are!”

Ronal moves to Lo’ak’s hand instead, “They have demon blood!” The crowd exclaims, and a few people take defensive stances, growling and hissing at the group as Lo’ak stares at the sand. 

“Look.” Jake holds his hand up to show five fingers. “Look. Look, I was born of the Sky People and now I am Na’vi. All right? You can adapt. We will adapt.”

“My husband was Toruk Makto.” Neytiri adds, her eyes narrowed at Ronal. She steps forward. “He led the clans to victory against the Sky People.” 

“This you call victory? Hiding among strangers?” She glances at Jake. “It seems Eywa has turned her back on you, Chosen One.” Neytiri snarles and hisses at Ronal angrily, and the pregnant woman returns the favor, her eyes widened.

Jake steps between the two slightly, “I apologize for my mate. She’s…”

“Do not dare apologize for me-”

“Flown a long way and she’s exhausted.”

“Jake.”

Tonowari jumps in, “Toruk Makto is a great war leader. All Na’vi people know his story. But we Metkayina people are not at war. We cannot let you bring your war here.” Jake carefully picks Tuk up upon her request.

“I’m done with war. Okay? I just want to keep my family safe.” Tonowari and Ronal share a look.

“Uturu has been asked.” Neytiri finalizes, and Y/n holds her breath. The leaders of the Metkayina people share a silent conversation with their eyes.

Tonowari takes a deep breath before turning to face his people, “Toruk Makto and his family will stay with us. Treat them as our brothers and sisters. They do not know the sea, so they will be like babies. Taking their first breath. Teach them our ways so they do not suffer the shame of being useless. 

Jake nods, looking down at Tuk, “Okay, what do we say?”

“Thank you.” Tuk smiles widely at Tonowari. The rest of the family thank the Olo'eyktan and Tsahik as well. Y/n can feel eyes on her, but she ignores it, assuming it's the judgemental eyes of the crowd.  

“My son, Ao’nung, and our daughter, Tsireya, will show your children what to do.”

The boy steps forward defiantly, “Father, why do-”

“It is decided.”

The girl, Tsireya, steps forward with an easy smile, “Come, I will show you our village.”

Y/n smiles softly at Tuk as the small girl giggles at all the new things. She takes a special liking to a creature the Metkayina ride. Kiri urges her forward, and she bounces to her side. Tsireya leads the family into a large marui, and Y/n looks around the beautifully crafted homes.

“This is for you.” Tsireya says softly. “You’re new home.”

Jake smiles, “Yeah, this will work.” He takes a few steps inside, looking around. “This is great. It’s nice, right?” He asks his wife, who simply drops her mat distastefully. 

A few hours later, Y/n is sitting at the edge of their morai, her dangling feet just barely touching the water as she watches some clan members fish. Her brothers pass by her, but Neteyam lingers by her side, wanting to join his twin.

“Sully’s, fall in.” Their father commands.

Neteyam sighs and offers his hand, “Come on, sis.”

She tears her eyes away from the Fishman, and nods simply, allowing him to help her. The two go inside the morai and kneel down with their family.

“Come on. Take a knee. Let’s go.” Jake urges, looking around at his family.

“Kiri!” Neytiri quietly scolds, shooting the girl a pointed look.

“What?” Kiri mutters as she reluctantly kneels.

“Okay. I need you kids on your best behavior. I mean it. Learn fast. Pull your weight.” He looks directly at Lo’ak. “Don’t cause trouble, all right?” 

Lo’ak nods, “Yes, sir.”

“I want to go home.” Tuk cries, shoulders slumped in defeat. She wipes her eyes with a small sob.

“Oh, Tuk.” Neytiri coos softly, her face scrunching with the pain of seeing her youngest child cry.

“Tuk, this is our home now. Now, we’re gonna get through this. We’re gonna get through this if we have each other’s backs. All right?”

“What does your father always say?” Neytiri asks her children. 

“Sully's stick together.” The eldest three mumble together. 

“Yeah, that’s right. Sully's stick together.” He pats Kiri's knee gently. “Now this time with some feeling.”

“Sully’s stick together.” They all repeat, louder and more proudly.

Tsireya, Ao’nung, and Rotxo dive gracefully into the water as the Sully kids watch. Y/n steps forward, looking at the water curiously. 

“Come on.” Neteyam nudges Y/n as him and Lo’ak run past her. A laugh escapes her lips as she runs after them, pushing through the dull ache in her leg as she jumps. The water feels nice around her skin, cooling it down significantly. Kiri and Tuk jump in after the three, and together the five of them awe at the completely different world that hides beneath the surface. 

Y/n smiles at the fish swimming around, and she carefully swims forward, going in the direction of the other three. She’s rather slow in the water, but she doesn’t mind. It gives her time to marvel at the creatures swimming around her head. They slowly follow their guides, but eventually the Sully kids have to swim up for air. Their heads pop out of the water and they gasp to fill their lungs. 

Y/n laughs softly. “It’s beautiful down there.” She says with a grin, and Lo’ak raises a brow. “You saying that about the fish or fish lips?” He teases and Y/n rolls her eyes, splashing him with water.

“You’re a hypocrite, you know?”

“Both of you are very annoying.” Neteyam sighs. The group stick their heads back into the water, and Tsireya uses her hands to speak to them, but they just stare blankly. She smiles in amusement and instead decides to motion them along. The siblings take another deep breath and swim after them. It doesn’t take long for the kids to need air again and the Metkayina kids swim up to the surface after them. 

“Are you all right?” Tsireya asks kindly, her face showing worry.

“You’re too fast!” Tuk whines. “Wait for us!”

“Just breathe.” Tsireya instructs calmly as her brother pops his head out of the water, a look of disdain on his features. 

“You are not good divers.” He says matter of factly, and Y/n rolls her eyes. “Maybe good at swinging through trees, but…” Rotxo laughs as Tsireya hits his head.

“Come on, bro. We don’t speak this finger talk.” Neteyam complains, irritated at Ao'nung's comments. 

“Yeah, we don’t know what you’re saying.” Lo’ak agrees with a subtle nod, looking at Tsireya.

“I will teach you.” She promises gently. 

“Where is Kiri?” Rotxo asks, looking around. 

“Who?” Ao’nung asks.

“Kiri. Where is Kiri?”

“She’s alright.” Y/n finally speaks and Ao’nung looks at her. “She swam off at the beginning. Let her be.”

Y/n watches curiously as Ao’nung calls to the creatures, clicking and whooping. He’s rude, for sure, and finds joy in making fun of her siblings. But a small part of her can’t deny the fact that he is beautiful.

“These are ilu.” He informs the children. “If you want to live here, you have to ride.”

“Hi,” Y/n smiles softly at an ilu and gently pets the top of it’s head.

“Your leg.” A voice startles her, and she turns to see Ao’nung. “What happened to it?”

She responds cautiously, “It was hurt.”

He deadpans, “Obviously. But how?”

“A gun.”

“A what?”

She sighs softly, “Like a bow and arrow, just worse. Far worse.”

He nods, stepping towards the ilu. He gently pets its neck, “Will you be able to ride an ilu?”

Y/n looks at the creature with a small smile, “I rode all the way here on my ikran. It’s not much different in that sense.”

He hums, “All right.” He glances behind him, at Tsireya and Lo’ak. Lo’ak is taking off on his ilu, holding on tightly. The two watch as Lo’ak is flown off of his ilu, and Ao’nung bursts into laughter. Y/n can’t help but laugh as well.

“Breathe in, skxawng.” Ao’nung instructs, gently hitting Y/n’s stomach. 

She glares at him, her abs tensing, “I am breathing in, dipshit.”

“Calm your heartbeat.” He answers, his hand gently resting on her chest. It's soft and cool. “It’s too fast.”

Y/n takes a slow, deep breath, shutting her eyes, “I can’t help it.”

“Are you scared of me?” He grins.

She scoffs, peaking an eye open, “You don’t scare me.” 

“Then why is your heart beating so fast?” If he had eyebrows, he’d be raising them at that moment. 

She huffs and shrugs, “Because you’re kind of cute.” She stands, stalking over to the rest of the group. She takes a seat next to Kiri, glancing at Lo’ak and Tsireya with a small grin. 

“Try to focus.” She encourages.

Lo’ak nods, “Okay.”

“Breathe in…” Neteyam and Rotxo grin at each other, snickering quietly. 

Throughout the next few weeks, the Sully family quickly learn the way of the water, and how to adapt to their new surroundings. With the need of breathing every minute gone, the Sully kids are able to race on their ilu. It reminded them of home, racing on their ikrans. Their interactions with the sea have become deeper and resonate more. They sign the language with slight difficulty, but it’s understandable. 

Y/n’s love for the ocean has grown, and her disdain for the future Olo’eyktan follows suit. He bullies her siblings whenever he’s around, and despite his face, and his body, and his voice- he’s a terrible person. His mere presence makes her shiver in annoyance. His sister, however, is becoming one of her favorite people. She’s kind and welcoming, allowing Y/n’s family to make mistakes and then fix them. Y/n doesn’t think she has a single bad bone in her body. The current Olo’eyktan, Tonowari, has taught Y/n how to fish. She wasn’t very good, but she was getting better as time went on. Tonowari and Tsireya are very alike, in Y/n’s opinion, like father like daughter. And finally, Ronal. It took a few days for the woman to even look her family's way, but one evening, while Y/n was searching for small shells to add to her father’s necklace, the woman showed her where to find the perfect ones. She’ll forever be grateful for it.

The waves crash softly against the shore as Y/n leans against a palm tree, doing the finishing touches on her father’s necklace. Kiri lay face down in the shallow water ahead of her, simply gazing at the sand and the small creatures within it. Y/n doesn’t notice the posse of boys walking up to her sister until she hears that voice.

“What is she doing?” Ao’nung sneers, and the boys laugh. Y/n looks up from her project, and frowns deeply. “She’s looking at sand.”

“Huh? What’d you say?” Kiri asks, lifting her head out of the water. Y/n stands, dusting the sand off her legs. 

“Are you some kind of… freak?” Ao’nung asks bitterly, and Kiri sighs, averting her eyes and walking past him. 

“No.”

“Are you sure? I mean, you’re not even real Na’vi. Look at these hands.” He takes her hand, and she rips it away. He grabs onto it again. “I mean, look at them!”

“Hey!” Lo’ak calls, walking over. “Back off, fishlips.”

“Oh, another four-fingered freak.”

“Oh, baby tail!” Another boy teases, grabbing onto Lo’ak’s tail. 

“Leave us alone!” Kiri tries, but to no avail. 

Y/n finally rushes over, pushing Ao’nung to the side. She points her finger at him. “You heard what she said. Leave them alone.”

“Awww, big sister com-” A boy tries, but Ao’nung pushes him back, silencing him.

“Back off.” Y/n pushes him back with her finger. “Now.” There’s a tense moment of silence, before Ao’nung lifts his hands in surrender. “Smart choice. And from now on, I need you to respect my sister.” A boy hisses, but once again Ao’nung stops him. She turns to her siblings. “Let’s go.”

The three begin to walk off as Ao’nung speaks up again, “Bah bye!” He teases, before loudly “whispering” to his friends. “Look at them, they’re all freaks. The whole family.” Lo’ak sighs deeply, before turning around. 

“Lo’ak.” Y/n warns.

He holds his hand up, “I got this sis.” He walks up to Ao’nung, displaying his hand. “I know this hand is funny. Look, I’m a freak. An alien.” Ao’nung smirks. “But it can do something really cool. Watch. First, I ball it up real tight, like this. Okay? Then-” He cuts himself off by delivering a hard punch to Ao’nung’s cheek, followed by two more, until the taller boy falls onto the sand. “It’s called a punch, bitch. Don’t ever touch my sister again.”

Y/n sighs as the boys hiss at Lo’ak. Ao’nung pounces on him, and Lo’ak lands another punch before being pulled off by his tail. Y/n scrunches her face as a boy hits Lo’ak with his tail. The boys continue to wrestle, and eventually end up just pulling each other’s tails and ears. Kiri and Y/n laugh quietly to themselves as they yelp and moan. 

“What was the one thing I asked? The one thing!” Jake scolds, Lo’ak stares at the ground in shame, and Y/n sighs.

“Stay out of trouble.” Lo’ak repeats quietly.

“Stay out of trouble- right!” “Look, it was my fault.” Y/n tries to intervene. She understands how difficult her father is on Lo’ak, and she’ll do anything she can to help ease the anger on the boy.

“I don’t think so. You gotta stop takin’ the heat for this knucklehead. I’ll speak to you later.”

“Look, dad, Ao’nung was picking on Kiri. He called her a freak.”

Jake sighs, “Go apologize to Ao’nung.”

“What?”

“He’s the chief's son, do you understand? I don’t care how you do it. Just go make peace. Just go.” Lo’ak leaves the tent, shaking his head. Jake looks back at Y/n. “You should’ve stopped him.”

Y/n sighs, “I didn’t know he was going to punch Ao’nung.”

“Have you met your brother?” Jake runs a hand over his face. “You’re the eldest. It’s your job to take care of your siblings. You need to start acting like it.”

“Dad- I can’t control them. They don’t listen to me-”

“Then try harder. This is a family, we all have roles. You need to start fulfilling yours.”

Y/n shakes her head, “Yeah, fine.” She walks past her father to leave.

“Y/n?” She turns to look at her father in question. “What’d the other guys look like?”

“Worse.”

Jake nods, “Good. You’re dismissed.”

She nods, leaving silently. 

Y/n sits quietly with Neteyam, they quietly share memories from the forest and their clan. Y/n knew how much her brother missed their home. A presence interrupts them, and Y/n glares.

“What do you want, Ao’nung?” She stands, crossing her arms.

He looks down, not able to make eye contact. “It’s Lo’ak.”

“What did he do?” Neteyam asks.

“We led him out to hunt… beyond the reef. And we left him. It was supposed to be a joke- but he hasn’t come back.”

Y/n takes a moment to take in what he just confessed, before anger crosses her face. “Are you fucking serious? What is wrong with you?”

“I’m… sorry.” He whispers.

Neteyam gently pushes past Y/n and roughly grabs onto Ao’nung’s arm, dragging him towards their father and Kiri. Jake looks back questioningly, his brow raised. 

“What is it?”

Neteyam glares at Ao’nung, “Go on. Tell him what you just told us.”

Y/n stands next to Tsireya as a villager brings Lo’ak onto a small dock. The moment Lo’ak sees Ao’nung, he’s ready to pounce on him, but Jake intervenes quickly, stepping in front of his son. 

“Hey, hey. Let’s have a look at you, okay?” He quickly looks over Lo’ak. “He’s fine. He’s fine. Just a few scratches.”

“Lo’ak.” Neytiri gasps softly, jumping down onto the dock. Once she realizes he is not injured, she sneers. “I pray for the strength that I will not pluck the eyeballs out of my youngest son!” She snarls, hissing. 

“No.” Tonowari announces. “My son knows better than to take him outside the reef.” He forces Ao’nung to kneel. “The blame is his.”

“Okay, let’s go.” Jake says, motioning for his son to follow. 

“No.” Lo’ak speaks up, and Y/n looks at him weirdly. “This is not Ao’nung’s fault. This was my idea. Ao’nung tried to talk me out of it. Really. I’m sorry.”

“Come on.” Jake urges and Y/n joins the group.

As they walk away, Lo’ak tries to defend himself. “Dad, you told me to make friends with these kids. I was only trying to-”

“I don’t want to hear it.”

“Dad-”

“You brought shame to this family.”

“Dad.” Y/n intervenes, but her dad just gives her a warning look.

Lo’ak looks defeated, “Can I go now?”

“You cause more trouble, I jerk a knot in your tail.” Jake threatens, and the boy nods. “You read me?”

“Yes, sir. Lima Charlie.” 

Jake studies him for a moment, “Go on.”

Neytiri looks at Y/n and Neteyam, “Where were you?”

Jake glances at them, “Yeah, what happened to “keeping an eye on your brother”?” He looks at Y/n. “Taking care of your siblings, pulling your weight. Sound familiar?”

“Sorry, sir.” Neteyam responds, but Y/n scoffs softly. 

“Seriously? I was too busy being scolded for not parenting my siblings to stop him.” Y/n regrets the words the second they leave her mouth.

“What did you say, girl?” Jake bears his teeth, angrily looking at her. 

“Doesn’t matter.” She turns to walk away.

“Don’t you walk away from me. I am tired of your disrespect, Y/n.” Jake grabs her shoulder, turning her back to face him. “Everyday it’s something new with you. You are the oldest, you need to star-”

“Start acting like it, yeah, I know.” She scoffs, her eyes filling with frustrated tears. She’s not good at confrontation. “I’m the eldest sibling- but I’m not even your daughter! And you aren’t my father.” Jake’s eyes flash with hurt, and he bites his tongue. “I’m tired of you suffocating me.” Her eyes glisten in the dim lighting.. “I only try to be perfect for you, but what’s even the point? All I do is disappoint you.”

“Y/n…” Neytiri tries, but Y/n shakes her head.

“Sometimes I wish it was you that was dead, instead of my real father.” She knows she didn't mean that. But she turns and walks off like she did anyway. She said what she knew would hurt him, because she wanted him to see the way he hurts her. 

She wipes her eyes as she leaves, her throat closing up as she tries to hold in her sobs. The closer she gets to breaking, the faster she moves away from her family, her father. It’s only when she makes it to a secluded spot on the beach does she finally allow herself to quietly cry. She buries her head in her knees, shaking as the gentle waves kissed her feet. 

She doesn’t hear the quiet footsteps behind her, hesitating to comfort her. Ao’nung decides to sit next to her either way, looking out over the horizon. He puts his hand on her knee, and she looks up at him, immediately wiping her eyes. 

“What do you want?” She asks quietly, her voice cracking quietly. She doesn’t have the energy to hate him. 

He swallows thickly, thinking carefully on what to say. “I know I’m probably the last person you want to speak to but… I’m here.” He murmurs softly, his eyes soft. “You can talk to me, or not, but… I am here.”

Y/n stares at him for a moment, dumbfounded, before nodding. “Thank you.” She whispers, allowing herself tonight to accept his comfort. She’ll go back to hating him tomorrow. Or so she hopes.

my masterlist

If you'd like to be added to my main taglist comment or DM me!

[worriedvision]

Flowery tea - Wriothesley

Gender neutral reader, hanahaki fic because I'm a sucker for those. Readers basically from Liyue, but has started working alongside Wriothesley in terms of monitoring finances. Unhappy ending here.

--

"Sir, would you like some tea?" You ask him, knowing full well he will respond positively.

"Of course. Any time is a good time for tea." Wriothesley chuckles, sending your heart racing.

Truth be told, you had been visiting Liyue more often to get the latest types of tea, in the hopes of gifting them to your boss. As embarrassing as it was, you gushed to Zhongli - someone you got to be friends with - about Wriothesley. How he talked, how he treated those around him, the general attraction you felt for him. Zhongli teased you about travelling to Liyue to treat Wriothesley, but understanding Wriothesley was important to you.

"Wow, this tea has an...interesting taste." Wriothesley hums, taking another sip before continuing. "The aftertaste is nice, but the initial taste is strong."

"A friend of mine in Liyue recommended it." You explain, rubbing the back of your head.

Before Wriothesley responds, Chlorinde walks in.

"Oh, Chlorinde! Perfect timing, you have got to try this!" Wriothesley suddenly has a burst of energy, resembling a husky when talking to her. "C'mon, try it for me!"

"... I'm here for work." Chlorinde sighs. "...but I'll do it for you."

"Aww, thank you! I love you!" Wriothesley teases, Chlorinde wincing at his responses.

You, however, feel poorly after hearing that. Specifically, you feel like something is growing in your lungs. You go to excuse yourself, only to see the full in front of you animatedly talking. Not wanting to inconvenience them, you head to the head nurse for a check up.

"I can sense an anomaly in your chest, dear one! Unfortunately, this is a foreign item, and I don't understand how it's gotten there." Sigewinne states. "I'm sorry, but I haven't seen anything like this."

"It's alright, thank you for checking this for me." You smile, the feeling in your chest feeling worse by the second. Hunching over in pain, you startle Sigewinne before passing out.

--

You were not waking up.

That worried Wriothesley, so he decides to contact your friend to request he comes to see you before you, possibly, die.

Surprisingly, Zhongli showed up a few days later with the invitation letter in hand. Upon arrival, he was escorted to where you were, the head nurse explaining your condition.

"A foreign item, you say?" Zhongli hums out. "And there was a sign of growth? Did you perhaps sense some sort of...flora energy?"

"Yes! How did you know?" Sigewinne gasps, Zhongli closing his eyes in thought.

"This is a case of Hanahaki disease. My friend has feelings for someone, and they must have realised they do not return the sentiment."

"Oh...that is such a cruel condition."

"There is a cure. At this point, there is only one form of treatment that will help." Zhongli explains. "This will lead to the love in question being not only forgotten, but the chance of love being formed with them as well."

"Well what are we waiting for? Let's do it!" Sigewinne jumps, Zhongli opting to do this.

He would have a word with Wriothesley once the surgery is complete. For now, his top priority was removing the foreign item in your lungs. Your life was more important than your boss's opinion in his eyes.

--

"Come again?" Wriothesley tilts his head, taken back by Zhonglis words. What did he mean, '_ will not remember you'.

"The condition was caused by you. I know feelings cannot be helped, and you cannot be forced to reciprocate, however this surgery will lead to them forgetting everything about you." Zhongli explains calmly. "In addition to this, they will no longer be able to form a romantic bond with you."

"But they'll be alive and well?" Wriothesley asks, Zhongli nodding. "Then that is fine. It is unfortunate that I don't think of them that way."

"Thank you for understanding." Zhongli smiles, before getting up to leave.

"Hold on." Wriothesley stops Zhongli, getting up. "would you like a cup of tea?"

--

In the months of working with Wriothesley after the surgery, you couldn't help but feel out of place.

Wriothesley seemed disappointed that you forgot everything about him - including the fact he was your boss. Even after the clearing up of misinformation, you still didn't act friendly with him. You no longer had a personal relationship with him, keeping things professional.

During an argument you initiated after Wriothesley had yet again asked you to relax around him, he said something he regretted after you left his office.

"If I knew I was going to lose you because of feelings, I would have pretended to love you." Wriothesley grunts, your eyes widening in shock at the statement.

"So I was just a form of tea collection for you, huh? Fine, I quit." You storm out, Wriothesley calling for you to come back so you could get past the past. Unfortunately, he was the one who needed to move on.

You already had.

[cryptidorchid]

I’ve seen a lot of people call out Scott’s lack of care for Jimmy’s life in Third Life. (Usually, this is part of their explanation for why they think flower husbands is toxic) And I think these points are interesting but kind of miss that the lack of care is reciprocated by Jimmy.

In Scott’s case, the moments I see pointed out the most are the two times Scott treated Jimmy dying like it was a spectator sport. Like when Jimmy got attacked by the enderman or Jimmy played the Tango’s lava minigame and Scott was like “I’m just here to see if Jimmy dies” and when he told Grian that “once our husbands die, we can be free.” 

I will play devil’s advocate for a moment here and say that in all of these moments, regardless of what Scott was saying about it, he took action to try to keep Jimmy alive. In the first two instances mentioned, he gave Jimmy advice to help him survive and in the last one with Grian, he suggested Jimmy should stay in the bunker so he could be safer. But I will admit that Scott acts very apathetic about Jimmy dying.

In Jimmy’s case, he’s less verbally apathetic but his actions seem strange for someone who should want Scott to stay alive. Like that time where Grian and Scar let their enderman free to attack Scott and Jimmy scolded Scott for killing the enderman because it upset Grian and Scar. And even when Scott was being attacked, Jimmy’s response was just yelling that he wasn’t the one who looked at the enderman and then watching as Scott gets attacked. And there was that time when they found the enchanting table outside of Renchanting and Jimmy (correctly) guessed that it might be a trap so he told Scott to mine it.  For the second one, Jimmy says it’s because he’s just died so he doesn’t want to die again which would be fair, except neither of them have any motivation to mine the enchanting table in the first place, so the reasonable response would be “it might be a trap so neither of us should mine it”

Which made it really weird when the Dogwarts confrontation happened and suddenly, they’re all protective over each other. Suddenly, they’re like “Jimmy, don’t go near the scary red name!” and “Scott, what if they sacrifice you on their altar?” 

What? Where did this come from? At least in Scott’s case, I can guess it was because Jimmy’s now a red name so if Jimmy dies, it’s permanent. I don’t know what was up with Jimmy in that moment.

And, as far as them continuing to be protective after that? On Scott’s end, he was pretty consistent and explicit about wanting to keep Jimmy safe after that (except for him being weirdly happy about the idea of being a widow, don’t know what was up with that). 

On Jimmy’s end, after this, as far as I can tell, he went back to using Scott’s green life as an excuse to ask Scott to take risks. He finds a cake unexpectedly in his house, thinks it might be a trap, and asks Scott to eat it and tell him if anything bad happens. When they're in a fight with Dogwarts, Jimmy tells Scott that he should "get in there" because he’s a green name. Honestly, I don’t think these are that bad because Jimmy was on red and Scott was on green, but it is a big difference from him burning the Dogwarts banner over just the possibility that they might try to kill Scott (and it implies that Jimmy sees Scott's life as disposable which while pragmatic, is not very kind). Anyway, my main point is that I can’t remember Jimmy ever really being worried about Scott’s life outside of the one moment with Dogwarts.

In conclusion, neither of them seemed to be super concerned about the other one dying (Scott said it. Jimmy acted like it) until Jimmy went to red. Which I think mostly had to do with the fact that they both knew the other had more lives to spare. They really lived their lives like “me and my husband who couldn't care less if I live or die.” My dysfunctional faves.

[sagittarianpocky]

Heaven | Zamasu X Fem!Human!Reader.

First time posting my work on here. Um, hello. On a Zamasu binge right now.

Porn with very slight plot. And some fluff, but it's Zamasu, so, you know. I just like writing things that are self indulgent, and he deserves more love. Also not spell checked. We die like men, and spell checking with ADHD is practically impossible anyway. And it’s written in first person pov because I suck at second person. Otherwise. Enjoy, I guess.

Rating: NSFW. 18+. Obviously.

Word count: 3,095

Summary: Zamasu gets... a little jealous that another mortal dared to flirt with his special human.

“I’ve never seen you so nervous.” 

To have a Supreme Kai staring you down - it’s a harrowing experience. Especially because it was Zamasu. Gray, hungry, narrowed eyes were staring directly through my own, going all the way down into the depths of my soul. He was standing mere inches from me. We’d been having a discussion, which was absolutely normal, but I brought up the fact that some random dude on the street had asked for my phone number in passing. That’s when he first got that look in his eye, his voice got lower, and I could see that something was brewing within the darkest corners of his mind.

“Zamasu.” My voice came out quiet and weak, almost like a stutter. “What’s gotten into you?”

His fingertip just barely touched my chin, tilting my head up toward his own. I had to look at him, no matter how flushed my face was getting. He wasn’t much taller than me, but it was just enough for him to be intimidating. The height difference made me feel small and helpless, but in the depths of my own mind, I didn’t hate the feeling. And I think he knew that. “The idea that any of these barbaric, uncivilized mortals could believe, even for one moment, that they have the right to someone as divine as you is absolutely revolting.” 

I backed up a little. Just one step, but he followed suit. I responded, “That’s… why I told him no.” 

“As you should.” A smirk was pulling at the corner of his lips. “Do the same with everyone who dares to ask for even a sliver of your affection.” 

I blinked a few times, and I felt his thumb brush my jaw. “I… don’t understand. What is this about? You know how I feel about people, so-“

“What I am saying… is that there is but one being who is worthy of you.”

I swallowed roughly. “… Who?”

“Me.” 

The response came out so commanding, as if it were the absolute truth. My breath caught in my throat. His stoic, never-changing expression told me that he wasn’t lying. “You… want me? But I’m…”

“A mortal? Ah, no. You’re a…special case.” His hand rested on my cheek, and his thumb brushed my lower lip. He usually had a confident aura, but now, it was penetrating through my soul. Paralyzing me. “I’m surprised it took you so long to notice. Mortals do tend to be quite oblivious, so I won’t take offense.” 

“You… want me.” That came out barely audible, more repeating it so I could believe it myself. It made him smirk. My eyes couldn’t leave his, but I noticed him take a quick glance at me. My body, more specifically. “In, um… what ways?”

He moved centimeters closer as he confessed, “in all ways, darling. If that’s alright with you.”

“Wouldn’t that… break rules?”

“Supreme Kai law? Perhaps.” He brushed a piece of hair from my face. “But you of all people should know that I care little for those old-fashioned doctrines.” 

“I see.” A brief silence ensued until I whispered back, “then, it’s alright with me.” 

“Are you sure?” That came out almost teasing. “Once you start, there’s no going back. I’m sure you’re aware.” 

“…I’m sure.” 

He smirked in such a feral way that it exposed one of his fangs. “Good. That’s exactly what I wanted to hear, my dear.” 

That’s when his lips met mine. It startled me, but at the same time, I melted. I melted at such a quick rate that I couldn’t believe it. He pushed me against the wall, hands sliding down my sides. When I started to reciprocate, it was like all inhibitions were thrown to the wayside. His body was right against mine, and his tongue snaked right into my mouth. He tasted… like cedar. I wasn’t sure how to explain. A sap, more bitter than honey, but still retaining an intoxicating sweetness. On top of that, he was kissing me like he hadn’t had a taste of physical contact like this in hundreds, if not thousands of years. Then he pulled back and laughed to himself, murmuring, “exquisite. Even better than I imagined.” 

I was trying to catch my breath. “You’ve… been thinking about this?”

“Of course I have. You invaded my thoughts. Thoughts of grandeur being tainted with thoughts of desire. I tried so hard to resist, but I can no longer do so.” His hand was sneaking underneath my shirt, but I was too enamored with his eyes to look down. “I’ve wanted nothing more than to see you for everything you are. To devour you. To make you mine.”

With that, he began to kiss me again. I knew how privileged I was. To be in such close contact with a Supreme Kai - a being like Zamasu - no other being in the universe would be given the opportunity. His hand was slowly pulling my shirt up, and then he separated from me to remove it entirely. My face grew red because I knew he was checking me out, but again, it made me feel small. Finally, he said, “come here.” 

He pulled me toward my bed and he sat down on the edge. He spun my back toward him and pulled me onto his lap, guiding me to straddle one of his legs. With my back against his chest, I could feel his breath against my neck. His hands were sliding up my bare thighs, then to my hips, and then up to my chest. With ease, he undid the clasps, and my bra slid to the ground. Why he didn’t bother with my skirt was beyond me, especially when he turned my face to his. He whispered, “You are simply divine, darling.” 

He didn’t give me a chance to speak. His lips met mine and his hands groped my chest. I couldn’t help it - seeking friction, my hips rolled against his thigh. What pained me more was the fact that he was still fully clothed. I couldn’t get as much as I desired. When he started teasing my nipples, I could tell that he was playing with me, much to his own amusement. When he started pinching them, I moaned into his mouth. It was shameless. He pulled back from my lips, and diverted his attention to my neck. Kissing and nipping at my skin, my body was reacting exactly how he wanted. He was chuckling to himself. Embarrassingly, it was almost too much, even though he’d done so little. I groaned, “Zamasu…”

I could feel his body tense as he said, “oh, that was marvelous. I’ve never heard anyone say my name like that before.” 

He bit the side of my neck hard, triggering another groan. He would bite every sensitive spot he could find. One of his hands moved to my hip, guiding them in the same pattern they’d been grinding in, just with more force. I whimpered, mentally noting that I should’ve guessed he’d be some sort of sadist that liked to play with his food.

I heard him smirk as he said, “a sadist? I suppose so. Playing with you is far too much fun.” 

I blushed hard. I would often forget that Kais could read minds, and I had no doubt that he’d been reading mine the entire time. I felt his hand slide underneath my skirt, moving dangerously close to the area that most of my body heat was gathering in. My hips bucked toward his hand, which made him laugh. “So reactive. Would you like me to do something?”

Even the tone of his voice was enough to make my body hotter. “I… need you to touch me.”

“You’ll need to elaborate, sweetheart. Tell me what you want.” 

As he said that, his fingers inched closer. One of his fingertips was just barely grazing my clit through my panties. “I need… your fingers.”

“Where, darling?”

My hips bucked against his hand which made me blurt out, “in me. Please.” 

“That’s a good girl. I suppose I can oblige.” He pressed a surprisingly gentle kiss against my neck, and he took no time when picking me up and placing me down on the bed. The skirt was an easy thing to unzip and pull off, and my panties went with it, falling to the floor. His eyes were dark as he removed his overcoat, hanging it over the chair at my desk. He climbed over me with a predatory gaze as he mumbled, “oh, Gods, you are absolutely heavenly.” 

That’s when I felt his hand touch my core. He explored everything with his fingertip, giving me a light kiss as he did so. He pulled back, leaving his lips brushing against mine as he looked down. “To think you could get this worked up so quickly… that’s sinful, darling. I’ve barely started.” 

I tried to respond, but he pressed two fingers into me with absolute ease. He drove them into me as far as they could go, and he held them there, prompting me to try to move my hips. “Ngh, Zamasu-“ 

“Needy, are you?” He pulled his fingers back, and then pushed them into me once more, making me bark out a sound that resembled a groan. The smirk on his face told me that he was loving every second of this. I squirmed. He was holding his hand still. Then, he whispered, “I’m sure you can be louder than that. I suppose I’ll find out, won’t I?”

Only then did he begin to move his fingers. At a slow, but steady pace, always forceful when pushing them back in. He liked the way my body would jerk, and he liked the way my face would contort. I could hear it in his breath, which was getting deeper and more husky by the minute. Then, he curled his fingers, which made me groan his name again. It made him chuckle. “Yes, beautiful. Do it again.”

His fingers quickened in pace. My back arched up, pressing me against him. He kissed me. My fingers were gripping the sheets, and I felt him add a third finger. The stretch sent heat shooting through my body. It made my toes curl. It made my breathing go rapid, to the point where he pulled back just to watch me squirm beneath him. Finally, I mewled, “Zamasu… I… I’m gonna…”

And just like that, his fingers stopped. The high I was desperately seeking faded away, leaving me speechless. And he was smirking darkly as he slowly withdrew his fingers from me. When I was about to complain, he shushed me. “No, darling. You need to be patient. That was simply just to prepare you. Do you understand?”

I nodded shakily, every urge to complain fading away. I quietly responded, “Yes. I understand.” 

“Good girl.” I felt him press a gentle kiss to my forehead. He whispered, “Now, give me a moment. Relax.”

I felt him move off the bed. My head was spinning. Not just from orgasm denial, but from his sudden shifts in demeanor. He could go from cruel to sweet in the blink of an eye. I was trying to catch my breath, staring at the ceiling through lidded eyes as I listened to fabric moving around. Then, I felt him crawl back over me, once again rubbing his thumb on my cheek. “Feeling alright, darling?”

I nodded, leaning into his touch. “Yes.”

“Good.” He brushed hair out of my face. He looked so… nice. Genuine, like he usually did. “Now, I need you to move up just a bit. Can you do that?”

I nodded, slowly pulling myself toward the top of the bed. He urged me along until my head was resting atop a pillow, and then he moved atop me. That was the first time I felt his bare skin against mine. It was strangely cold, and it sent a shiver down my spine. He kissed me passionately, hips pressing into my own. I could feel his length rubbing along my core, which made my lips quiver. He pulled back from the kiss and said, “I’m going to ravage you now, darling. Are you ready?”

I nodded quickly, hesitantly folding my arms behind his neck. He allowed me to touch him without question or protest. Then, his forehead pressed against mine as he slowly slid himself into me. We both let out a groan at the same time, and the farther he pressed himself in, the more my mouth fell agape. My hands grabbed at his skin, and he once again hushed me. “I know, sweetheart. It’s a bit of a stretch for you, isn’t it? But I have no doubt you can take it.” 

“Oh, God…” I whimpered that with tears pricking at the corners of my eyes. When he was fully sheathed within me, I was holding onto him for dear life as my body adjusted. I had no idea what the anatomy of a Kai was like, but something like this was completely unexpected. I could see him sweating, using every fibre of his being to hold himself back until I was ready. Finally, I let out a deep exhale and said, “you… can move. Go ahead.” 

He wasted no time. He pulled himself almost all the way back out, and then pressed himself back in. He did it again and again at a slow pace. On his face was a look of pure ecstasy as he acquainted his body to mine, and then his eyes stared down at me. He leaned back just enough to push one of my legs up against my torso, and at that moment, I knew I was quite literally fucked. As he stared down at me, he said, “This… is a sight I could very much get used to.”

I didn’t get much time to look at his physique before he started driving himself into me down to the hilt. The whines and groans that were pouring out of my mouth were loud and lewd, my hands searching for anything and everything to grab ahold of. The pace he was moving at was forcing me upwards with every thrust, and he looked like he was in a state of complete bliss. It didn’t take long for me to be pushed over the edge, which made him groan in a way that could’ve made me do it again if I had the physical ability. I saw him smirk as he said, “Gods, that was amazing. I wonder how many times I can make you do that?”

I saw an idea flash past his eyes, and he was quick to remove himself from me before turning me onto my stomach. He grabbed my hips, pulling them upwards with a feral look in his eyes. I was looking back at him as he plunged himself into me once again, taking up the same brutal pace as before. He leaned over me, mouth just inches from my ear as he growled, “I don’t think I’ve ever felt anything as divine as this before. You must be from heaven. I’m wholeheartedly convinced.” 

“Y-You…” I could barely speak. The sheer amount of girth was hitting every single spot it could find. It was sending sparks of pleasure through every nerve in my body. I could barely mewl out, “so… good.” 

“You poor thing. You can barely speak, can you?” He bit my neck, which triggered an immediate moan. “Heh. You like being mercilessly dominated by a god, don’t you?”

His pace didn’t falter, not even as he spoke. My body was contorted, chest against the bed and hips in the air. Between breaths, I responded, “I-I… I do.”

Then, he grabbed both of my wrists and pinned them behind my back with one hand. With the other, he had a bruising grip on my hip as he asked, “And what God is giving you the privilege to feel such pleasure?”

His pace was unforgiving. I came undone again as soon as he said that, which made him grunt. My brain was having trouble formulating words, but I cared little.  No one I had ever done anything with made me feel anything close to what I was feeling. I whined, “You.”

He snapped his hips into me particularly hard as he ordered, “Louder. Tell me who you belong to!” 

I yelled out, “You, Zamasu!”

“Good girl.” His pace stopped for a matter of seconds as he flipped me onto my back again, plunging himself into me as he delivered a violent kiss to my lips. One of his hands remained on my hip, and the other tangled itself in my hair. He was overwhelming me, and the only thing I could think about or feel was him. My body was in a constant state of pleasure. I couldn’t have even known if I’d come or not. What got my attention was when his pace became much less rapid and disorganized, and he couldn’t continue kissing me. His head fell to rest against the crook of my neck, and my nails raked down his back. 

“Oh, Gods,” he groaned that right into my ear, which caused me to groan in response. With a few more hard thrusts, his pace slowed. He came to a complete stop deep within me. He must’ve hit a climax himself. Both of us were covered in sweat, and he caught his breath much faster than I could catch my own. He said in a sultry voice, “I’m surprised. You took that very well.” 

I opened my eyes just a sliver to look at him. My voice was so quiet that I doubted anyone could’ve heard it. “Thank… you.” 

“I think I’m going to stay here for a while.” I could see a satisfied smile on his face. I felt his body relax, and he held my head against the crook of his neck. “If you don’t mind, that is.” 

“No… I don’t.” Laying there with him, as he stroked my hair, I could feel myself falling asleep. Being in such close proximity with him - being in his arms - it made me feel untouchable. To be the one exception. The one treasure. “I don’t mind…”

“Hush. You’re rambling, dear.” 

“I... sorry…”

“It’s alright.” I felt him press another kiss to my forehead. Yes, safe. That’s the way I felt. To sleep in the arms of a God… it was nothing I ever expected to happen. “Sleep, darling. No harm will come to you so long as I’m with you. That, I promise.” 

[poisonlove]

Miss Ortega | j.o

part 7

—The cell is made up of the nucleus and the cytoplasm and is enclosed by the cell membrane, which regulates passage in and out. The nucleus contains chromosomes, the cell's genetic material, and the nucleolus, which produces ribosomes. My eyes shift to Olivia, who was jotting down my words in her notebook.

In the late afternoon, I was at Olivia's house to help her study science, primarily about what a cell is and its functions. Olivia nods, giving me a nervous smile.

—One last question... what's cell division?— She puts the tip of her pen between her teeth, thoughtful.

—Cell division is the process by which a cell multiplies, splitting into two. In prokaryotes, it happens through binary fission (DNA filament duplication and subsequent division into two identical new individuals). In eukaryotes, it occurs through mitosis and, in reproductive cells, meiosis.— I say, shrugging casually.

Olivia writes it all down and then closes her notebook with a soft thud, sighing with satisfaction and tiredness.

—We're done,— she murmurs weakly, looking at me with a smile on her lips.

—We're done,— I repeat, and she stretches, slightly tense from maintaining an uncomfortable position for a long time.

—I'm not surprised you never get a failing grade, you're a book,— she says as she gets up from her desk, flopping onto her bed's mattress.

—Don't exaggerate...— I chuckle and give her a playful look. —Now... will you let me hear something you've written?— I nervously bite my lip, accepting the invitation to sit beside her on the bed.

Olivia sighs and reluctantly agrees to my request, blushing as she looks at me. —Wait,— she murmurs softly, leaning towards the edge of the bed, picking up a guitar case from the floor. Olivia glances at me sideways, holding the guitar in her hands.

—I'll sing you a little snippet of the song, okay? Also... I haven't finished it yet,— she says, toying with the guitar strings, likely tuning it.

I gaze in awe at her profile. Olivia had her head tilted down, holding the guitar in her lap. Her eyes briefly meet mine for a split second before she looks away with flushed cheeks.

Taking a breath, she closes her eyes, focusing.

—And I won't fight for love if you won't meet me halfway...— she begins to sing. And I say that I'm through but this song's still for you–

Her voice sounds angelic, surprising me with her talent. Olivia glances at me briefly, giving me a small smile.

—All I want is love that lasts— her eyes glisten, still looking at me.

—Is all I want too much to ask?— her fingers pause, interrupting the sweet melody. Olivia sets the guitar aside and looks at me with embarrassment, accepting my applause.

—Oh my god... you have an amazing voice,— I admit, and she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, staring at a fixed point on her lap. —Thank you,— she offers a shy smile, and I reciprocate.

A knock on the door draws our attention to the entrance of her room. Olivia's mother, Emma, is standing there with a smile on her lips.

—T/N, dear, why don't you stay for dinner with us?— Mrs. Rodrigo suggests.

With a smile, I look at Olivia's reaction. She's looking at me with bright eyes and a smile, nodding enthusiastically.

—That would be fantastic,— I reply, and immediately, two arms wrap around my neck, hugging me. The force makes me lie back on the bed, and amid laughter, I return the hug, smiling shyly at Emma, who watches us with tenderness as I hold Olivia in my arms.

(...) —So... how's it going with the girl you like?— Enid asks, hugging a pillow in her arms.

After helping Olivia study, I received an invitation from Enid to have a pajama party at her house, inviting Olivia as well since she was with me. The blonde only knew that I liked someone, but she didn't know who, and for obvious reasons, she was really mad at me. I know she's my best friend, but I still couldn't tell her that I was in love with Professor Ortega.

—Actually, it's all going wrong... she said it's better if I forget what happened,— I lower my head towards my lap, sadly biting my lower lip. —Well, what a jerk...— Enid makes a face. —If only I knew who she was, I would have given her a piece of my mind,— she says absentmindedly, pulling at the corners of the pillow in her hands.

—You tried your best,— I smile sideways, and Enid throws the pillow at my face, messing up my hair. I chuckle slightly and wink at her.

—What do you think about Olivia, though?— she suddenly asks, lying down on the bed. I turn toward the door, relieved when I see that the subject of conversation is still downstairs preparing popcorn for the movie.

—Are you crazy? She's here...— I whisper, and she rolls her eyes at my comment.

—I don't see her,— Enid turns toward me, focusing her attention on me.

I sigh and shake my head. —She's nice...— I shrug indifferently, smiling at the blonde. Enid raises an eyebrow and gives me a smile, silently asking me to tell her more.

—She's beautiful... there's no doubt... but you know I'm in love with someone else,— I play with my fingers, embarrassed by the situation.

—She'd be perfect for you, you know? Plus... she really likes you,— Enid confesses. She adjusts her pajamas and gets under the covers, getting ready to watch the movie on her room's TV.

—I know... but for now... I only see her as a friend,— I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear and look confused at Enid's reaction, who is looking with panic over my shoulder.

I turn to her line of sight and pale when I see Olivia near the door. The brunette awkwardly leaves the popcorn bowl on the shelf and, with tears in her eyes, looks at me, shaking her head with regret. I stand up and bite my lips, mentally scolding myself for being so stupid.

I close the door behind me.

—Liv, wait,— I quickly descend the stairs, trying to catch up with Olivia. The brunette ignores me and walks toward the couches, searching for her jacket. I quicken my pace and grab her wrist. Olivia turns around and looks at me with tear-streaked cheeks, making me feel guilty.

—What do you want? You've said enough,— she says with venom, clenching her jaw.

—Liv...— I whisper, and her eyes glisten. Her shoulders relax, and she tentatively shuffles in place, wanting to hear what I have to say.

—Tell me...— her voice tone is clearly broken, showing that my confession has hurt her. I step closer, placing my hands around her face, wiping away some tears. Her eyes look at me sweetly despite the pain she's feeling. She places a hand against mine, giving me a comforting squeeze.

—Right now... I'm in love with someone else,— she nods, with bitterness in her mouth. —But it doesn't mean that in the future, I can't be with you... if you heard the whole conversation... and I'm pretty sure you did... I said that for now, I see you as a friend,— I smile sidelong, stroking her cheek. Olivia tilts her chin up and licks her lips, looking at me seriously. Suddenly, we're at the same height level since she's on tiptoes. My breath catches in my throat, and I timidly observe what the brunette wants to do.

—Kiss me...— she whispers, closing her eyes and clenching her jaw. —I just want to kiss you... at least once,— she confesses, making my chest tighten. I remove one hand from her face and trail it down her back, stopping at her waist, pulling Olivia closer to me.

—This...— I swallow, nervous due to the proximity. —This I can do— I lean toward her face and close the minimal distance between our lips. The kiss is sweet and at the same time salty from her tears. Olivia wraps her arms around my neck, sighing against my lips, receiving the long-desired kiss. The rhythm of the kiss is slow; we're simply enjoying the contact between our mouths. Olivia taps her tongue against my lower lip, asking for permission to enter. I part my lips, and our tongues meet, tentatively exploring each other's mouths.

I press my forehead against hers after ending the kiss. The brunette has a smile on her lips, looking at me with shining eyes of happiness. She leans in and briefly connects our lips for a split second before pulling away.

—That was... wow,— I admit, and she nods, completely agreeing.

I have to admit that the kiss was beautiful, I really enjoyed it. Her lips were sweet, inviting in a different way from Jenna's. Just mentioning the brunette makes me grimace, and I try to erase the image of her eyes from my mind so as not to ruin the moment. Olivia looks at me smiling, happy about what just happened.

—So... shall we go upstairs to watch the movie?— I suggest, and she nods slowly, starting to climb the stairs, our hands still intertwined.

—So... can you wait? I know it sounds horrible to ask, but I want to know, I want to find out if it's truly over with... the other person. I swear, if she's convinced that our... relationship? I don't know what to call it... is completely over... I'll give myself a chance to be with you,— I timidly ask, nervous about making this proposition. Olivia sighs and nods her head with both sadness and excitement at having a chance with me.

—Yes... you're... you're right, you know? I understand... it's not easy to choose between two girls you like... I'll wait... and if you choose me... I promise I'll never leave, T/N,— she admits, making me shiver slightly at the intensity of her gaze. I blush.

—Alright... because I was already getting ready to chase after you to talk,— I joke, and she chuckles softly, tilting her head back.

Her fingers tighten around my hand, stroking the back of my hand with her thumb.

—I wouldn't have gone anywhere... not in pajamas, obviously,— she raises her head with pride, and I burst out laughing at the expression on her face.

—Well... now let's go watch the movie? Enid's waiting for us,— I suggest, and she nods, starting to climb the stairs while still holding my hand, our fingers entwined.

It was late, but I was still awake, studying for the English literature exam I had the next day. The words on the pages were blurry, and I was unsure if I'd remember half of what I was reading due to how tired I was. But I had to keep going to be able to say that I had at least tried.

The vibration of the phone on the desk pulled my attention away from the book. With a sigh of relief, I picked up the device, thanking my lucky stars for the break. I looked at the screen, puzzled, when I saw that both Olivia and Jenna had messaged me.

I decided to read Olivia's message first.

Liv: heyyy (1:13 AM)

Damn, was it already one in the morning?

                                                        Yo: Hey Liv!

Liv: Are you done studying?

I furrowed my brows and nervously bit my lower lip.

                                           Yo: Not really.

                Yo: But if you need help, I'm here.

Liv: Great! Actually, you'd do me a huge favor if you could open the window.

I closed the chat and walked over to a corner of my room, spotting Olivia in front of my house, holding her phone. I opened the window and leaned out, smiling at the girl standing on the street.

—What are you doing here?— I whispered, not wanting to wake up the rest of my family.

Olivia looked up from her phone and smiled at me.

As a response, she moved closer to stand right beneath my window, gazing up at the tree near my house. With a swift but careful movement, she started climbing its branches, eventually reaching out to touch the edge of my window with her fingertips.

—Are you crazy or something?— I looked at my friend with concern.

—If you help me, you'd be doing me a favor,— she panted, not being able to hold on much longer.

I extended my hand and grabbed hers, helping her into my room. With a little jump, she made it all the way in, looking at me with a nervous smile.

—So, spill it,— I absentmindedly stared at the lamp light that was focused on the book on my desk. I sighed in frustration.

—In a few days, there's the end-of-semester dance... you know, the start of the Christmas break...— she put her hands in her pockets, blushing as she looked at me.

Oh... I knew where this was going.

—T/N... would you like to come to the dance with me?— she asked, sounding hopeful.

I opened my mouth in surprise and remained silent for a few seconds, wanting to think about her proposal. In reality... I wasn't even sure if I wanted to go, as I didn't want to be a third wheel between Enid and Ajax... but if I had to choose someone to go with... besides Jenna, of course... it would definitely be Olivia Rodrigo.

—Yes...— I whispered, and she leaned slightly forward, not having heard my response. I widened my eyes when I saw the living room light shining through my slightly open door. Quickly, I grabbed Olivia by the shoulders and motioned for her to move towards the window, needing to get out of here immediately. Olivia placed a foot on a tree branch before turning back in my direction.

—So? — my eyes darted towards the door as I used my hands to urge Olivia. I looked at her with wide eyes before nodding repeatedly. —Yes?— she asked, with a smile on her lips.

—Yes! Now go before you get caught— I muttered under my breath, looking at Olivia. She nodded and leaned towards my face, briefly connecting our lips for a split second. I looked at her in surprise but didn't say anything, watching closely as she jumped down from the tree, landing on her feet.

—Goodnight— she smiled at me, waving her hand, and ran down the sidewalk towards her house on the other side of the neighborhood.

With a yawn, I returned to my desk, picked up my phone, turned off the lamp, and collapsed onto my bed. A sigh of relief escaped my mouth as I heard the sound of the toilet flushing.

Well, it was just a bathroom break.

I turned on my phone and went on WhatsApp, reading Jenna's message. I couldn't deny that I was quite nervous; I didn't expect her to message me after days... maybe a week or two without hearing from her.

Ortega: Are you awake?

                                                            Yo: Yes.

Jenna's smile appeared on my screen, and I responded to her call with confusion.

—Hello?— I asked, hearing a breath on the other end. Jenna remained silent for a few seconds before speaking.

—Is it true?— she asked, leaving me completely stunned. I got under the covers, trying to figure out what to say.

—What?— I inquired, not exactly sure what she was talking about. She sighed in frustration before gritting her teeth.

—There are rumors at school that you and Rodrigo are together... is it true?— she muttered, sounding both annoyed and curious.

—Excuse me?— I was rather incredulous, not being able to believe what I was hearing. Jenna Ortega had called me in the middle of the night to ask me something like this.

—Is it true or not? ANSWER— she raised her voice, noticeably angry. I could hear her heavy breathing, making me feel uncomfortable and slightly afraid.

—No... We're not together... we're just getting to know each other... that's it,— I confessed, nervously biting my lower lip. —But anyway, isn't it none of your business who I'm dating? After all, you were the one who wanted distance a few days ago,— I retorted, annoyed by her attitude.

Jenna sighed loudly and ended the call, leaving me feeling both triumphant and confused. Whatever had gotten into her, I didn't know, but in any case, she had no right to treat me like this, especially after she wanted to pull away.

I placed the phone on the bedside shelf and closed my eyes, trying to fall asleep. The ghost of Olivia's kiss lingered on my lips, while Jenna's voice echoed in my head.

To say that I'm confused is an understatement.

[chokchokk]

2/2

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 [𝐢 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬] | choi san x fem!reader

PART THREE of : have your way with words, be my people pleaser 

“Be mine tonight, Y/N.”

𝚜𝚢𝚗𝚘𝚙𝚜𝚒𝚜: The hour is twisted. You’re not at a club, you’re not sober, but most importantly, you’re not with him. Will Seonghwa do? No, of course not.

But he leaves you no other chance.

“You’re so pathetic, it might actually be worth a try.”

𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎: angst, smut

𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚜: 2nd half of PART THREE

𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝: 13.3k

𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐(𝚜): drug-use, drug abuse, alcohol, mdma (ecstasy, molly), vulgar language, just a lot of vulgarities and profanity, hate-fuck?, aggressive, teasing, cunnilingus, fingering, unprotected sex, sex with feelings but no love, sex with no respect, cumming inside; reader cant stop thinking about san, writer is a bit stoic, seonghwa is a hot bitch, hwa and writer are liars lmao

𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚛'𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎: the border looks that ugly on purpose btw not that you think otherwise LMAO

on ao3, this chapter is called “insanity” and i can’t promise it will be the only seonghwa-centred part throughout the series, but do please enjoy for the filth and angst of it all hehe!! <33 if you're asking “does san even make an appearance here?” i won’t tell you :P i know it's intimidating since there's just about like 10k build-up (because i'm a bitch LMAO) so if u wanna skip just find the second border i guessssssss

also, i really recommend listening to KLOUD's ESCAPE HALLOWEEN set (it's a soundcloud link) or any other hard tekno for the whole immersive experience lmao !!! <33

and also, thank you all very much for 100 followers and over 1000 notes ! ! ! wtf it's all happening so fast i can't catch up with yall....

𝚝𝚊𝚐-𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝: @brown88 : @svintsandghosts: @hanniebeesworld : @downbadreading : @shingsoluvely (kissing all of yall <33)

Didn’t Seonghwa say “club” or are you being some conservative narc flaking out?

You’re standing in front of a white, slightly burnt industrial building that is barely holding on by itself, and taking into account how many people are smoking around here, the likeliness that it will catch on fire again is not too low. You can’t believe that you’re going to meet Seonghwa inside here, let alone San, let alone anyone with a healthy sense for flight or fight, but here you are, walking up to the line with confident steps.

Yes, it has made you very anxious that even the taxi-driver had no idea where he was heading. He promised to drive you back home if anything happened, so the taxi-hotline is on speed-dial— just in case— and you just thought, holy fuck, hopefully Seonghwa won't leave me alone here.

But once you’d seen the seemingly endless line of people, you knew you have arrived at the right place. Or at least something like the right place. It all seems off, this building in the middle of nowhere outside the city, but you told the driver the vague address and he found you this hidden ware- and clubhouse, both of you hesitating to confirm that this was the correct location.

Nothing here seems legal, smells legal, looks legal— oh well.

The only thing you can say with certainty is is that you are looking and smelling the best you have ever looked and smelled this entire semester, and even if you have no fucking clue who these people that are whistling at you are, you know you’ve done everything right tonight when they wave at you to join them. You just skipped a whole chunk of the line here, but nobody seems to mind it. What a democratic party, maybe it’s not all that foul play and people do appreciate good things, eh?

It’s not an exaggeration or empty self-boast: You, in your skin-tight, revealing black body-con dress, skin glowing under the harsh night-light, are absolutely ravishing. There are looks on you— uncountably many of them, and usually, you’d fold under their heavy gaze, but having taken a few shots of the cheap rum back at home, you reciprocate their curious eyes with a sleek, cheeky smile, down-right inviting them to bathe in your appearance.

While the group of people take in the presence of you, blurting out their first thoughts immediately upon thinking, your confidence only grows bigger. Thank god drunk people say the truth, because “damn, she’s hot” is the ego-boost you needed to face whatever awaits you in that cubic building.

“ARE YOU FUCKING READY?”, booms out of it and it seems like a voice sample that’s been altered that hellishly deep. The crowd outside cheers. They're not even a part of the shenanigans yet, but still, they’re screaming and already moving their body in anticipation, throwing funny looking candy (you’re very sure that’s molly) inside their mouths. They’re ready, but Y/N, are you? It is an honest question to ask yourself, and as you inhale the smell of people smoking the devil’s lettuce around you, you draw out how the night might progress for them.

You don’t know about San’s whereabouts, only that Seonghwa and him are going separately, which is a big plus if you want to fuck him today.

Uh-huh. Fuck Seonghwa. You’ve made it up in your mind because he just wouldn’t stop hinting at it in the car this morning. He is going to buy you drinks, going to show you his dancing, but most importantly, going to “make you enjoy yourself”, which of course, could just be wishful thinking from you iterating the conversation, but Seonghwa wouldn’t have bought the tickets for you for free if he wasn’t expecting some type of reward, would he?

At the minimum, the hinting painfully reminded you of the way you talked to San the very first days you first insinuated that he could stay over at your house and — oh, golly! — sleep there. Coming to think of it, your talk actually never worked, and it still ended up being San who made the first sexual move. You’re going to save Seonghwa from this embarrassment, and if not, you’re going to save yourself from your own embarrassment for if you do see San and his volleyball-“date” or whatever here.

Anyhow, at the maximum, you have a brain and are fully aware of the fact that people don’t “meet” at the club to just have a chat, whether it's him or San. People “meet” at the club to get crazy and fuck, and that’s exactly what you’re doing with Seonghwa — End of story. San is not going to write this chapter today. He won’t even end up in the epilogue, that’s how much you’re going to focus on Seonghwa. Go down. Get him on. Get on with him.

You bop your head a little bit to the deep bass that’s vibrating through the walls of the warehouse and the line is taking a painfully long time to move forward. You watch the people in your group chug down their self-mixed abominations and how they're throwing the remaining glass on the floor, whiffing their stimulants through their joints or gulping it down by tablets. Letting out a huff to exhale the sharp smell of weed, you try to become as detached as the ones around you, at the very least assimilate to their mood. You’re going to be with these people tonight, and just by putting one and one together, you get the feeling that it will be a long, ruthless evening. You can hear intoxicated screams leave the front door, the deep voice continuing to hype up their cheers.

It's all a hivemind of pure madness and … well, you're here for it, it seems like, no? Seonghwa is not going to be an exception, and you brace yourself to be meeting your date here.

Show you his dancing, he said…

You don’t know whether the DJ playing some extraordinary remixes or whatever to be deserving this much of screaming feedback, but it’s definitely music to get your mind lost to, you'll give this guy Mingi that; Splurging, ear-numbing beats and basses, inviting you to rock your body. You don’t hate the music, not at all. It just makes you question how Seonghwa was imagining to impress you. Here you are imagining body-rolls or whatnot, but this hard style techno isn't really the tune for that, is it? Okay, let's just say it's not music you'd turn on to get yourself into the mood on a Saturday night, that's what's there to it.

It’s ironical, really. Usually around this time you’d be fumbling around your phone on your couch to ask San if he’s free or not, and sometimes he is, but most of the time he’s not. Those days where he just comes over on your mark have been over long time. Now, he’ll either show up at your house unprecedented or ask you to show up at his house in an ungodly hour.

Huh, isn’t that one funny butterfly effect. You woke up early because of San's mistress and here you are, lining up to become Seonghwa's. Is this right? "I heard you were going to be at Mingi’s party. Meet me there." Even now, you’re trying to convince yourself that this contact name “volleyball” could be anyone, maybe even just a friend that is trying to link up at this not-so party-looking party. Hm, you think, would a friend text him so intimidatingly? San hates periods to end messages, it scares him. So no, not a friend. At least not a friend that knows him as much as you do. Someone he had a fight with, maybe? No, Choi San doesn’t have fights, he’s too avoidant of conflict for that. It has got to be someone that has once been close to him and a bit too close to your liking.

No, no, fuck no, let’s stop this, you murmur to yourself and wriggle down your dress so it covers your ass at least.

Fucking Seonghwa. That’s your one and only mission tonight, of course followed by having fun and getting all hell loose.

It will just be one night and it will either make you 1) want to stay with San, or 2) finally move on and agree that San is just a … friend with too many benefits. You have to convince yourself you’re not in love with San. You can’t be in love with San. Disregarding of how curious you are in meeting him here.

“Ticket,” the control-man orders around the people in front of you and you get out your phone out of your tiny bag for the ticket, when you see that Seonghwa has already messaged you.

Seonghwa (San’s roomie): I’ll be waiting at the bar for you by the way Seonghwa (San’s roomie): You have to walk up the stairs on the left when you enter Seonghwa (San's roomie): Excited to see you ;)

You have been guessing already that something was going to break tonight, but it might as well be those stairs Seonghwa is talking about. From the amount of people that are still waiting behind you, you hope that they’re not all trying to go the bar.

“Ticket, please,” the control-man repeats, but strangely enough, his tone is a bit friendlier to you for some reason. “Here you go,” you duplicate his kindliness and he nods, dropping his smile as soon as he moves on to the next guess. Strange.

You eye the buff guy, but the impatient crowd pushes you into the square door. In you go.

“GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS UP!”

Harsh red lights, laser and smoke hit your senses. (Though you can only be so sure that the last part is really planned for the show-experience.)

Maybe you underestimated the capabilities of a warehouse. It’s still not what you thought of when you heard "club", but it surely still gets your club-mind going. Ignoring the grimy looking walls that seem to crumble with every beat that’s drumming inside your ears, the pungent smell of cheap-ass perfume, artificial sweeteners and alcoholic beverages strike into your nose, blurring your sight for a short moment. There are no windows in this hell-hole, but that’s the concern for another hour.

This is only the beginning. So, let’s focus.

Left, stairs, go up, there’s the bar Seonghwa was messaging you about. It surprises you that you’re not being swarmed by more people trying to get drinks, but it makes sense, since so many of them have already drunk outside or taken other substances to get themselves prepared for the night. That’s the first thing.

Second thing; suprisingly, the stairs are actually kind of durable. You can physically feel the bass run through your veins as you grab the handrail, but maybe that’s just because of the cold metal. Nothing to worry about here, you exhale and make your way up.

Lastly, and most importantly, look at you, you’re smiling. That’s the biggest, best thing. The euphoria these people are screaming out is down-right infectious, isn’t it? Their daft, hypnotic cries are calling out to you on the dance floor, but you’re going to be there sooner or later, with the man that brought you here in the first place.

“Hey, Seonghwa.”

“Hey, Y/N, you—“

He was sitting on a barstool, admiring the flashing lights all throughout the warehouse through his sunglasses, when you put your hand on his barely clothed shoulder and make him turn around.

“Holy shit, Y/N.”

You grin. Of course Seonghwa wouldn’t disappoint with his reaction. He rips the sunglasses from his face immediately, gets up from his seat and embraces you with one arm, not daring to let one eye sway away from you, his tongue pushed to the surface of his mouth, as he suppresses his gleeful grin. He looks star-struck, the supernatural-looking lights surrounding him are only emphasising this sight. Otherworldly.

“Where have you been hiding that?”, he asks, commenting on your body as respectfully as he can. You know he can’t handle a lot of alcohol, so his marvel must be double the truth, right? Seonghwa isn’t a liar.

“I’ve not been hiding anything,” you scoff and Seonghwa laughs nervously.

“Y/N, you look… absolutely fantastic.”

“You don’t look to shabby yourself, Seonghwa,” you smile and muster the charcoal-haired man from bottom to top. It’s very out-of the ordinary, but honestly, you should have expected something like this after he invited you here. It goes without saying, you could have served him the same reaction to his outfit. The man who was wearing sportswear? He’s now wearing a black, nylon, baggy pant, with a distressed knitted top that barely serves as an excuse for clothing as it is not covering any of his body parts correctly— and even if you’d already gushed about his athletic figure this morning, you have not expected to be seeing Seonghwa’s abs and breast this exposed this early tonight. There is jewellery all around his outfit, just dangling from the fabric, but also his ear and hands, spiky and shiny, almost hazardous looking.

Damn, either you haven’t seen Seonghwa enough or this dude has been hiding more from you than you could account for. He looks as fashionable as much as he looks demonic, ready to sin with you, and that is the most meaningful compliment of the night.

“Thank you, I knew you’d like it.”

“Really? Me?”, you laugh, getting your hair out of your face, tugging it behind your ear.

“You have a strange taste,” Seonghwa smirks and while you puzzle together what he means, he signs something to the bartender with his ringed fingers.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m ordering us shots. Keeping my first promise.”

“With sign-language?”

Seonghwa smirks and sits down again, you following him to the same.

"I'm a friend of Mingi's, they know me around, that's all."

"Y'all are weird."

“That’s just our ways here.”

“Your ways? You sound like some pretentious club-kid,” you nag.

“What if I am, huh? Are you gonna leave, if I was?”, Seonghwa teases and is served a tray of four shots, coloured a dangerously unnatural purple colour. He slides a 10-dollar bill onto the counter and the bar-keeper takes it with no words spoken out loud, which gives Seonghwa the time to devote all his attention to you. It’s flattering how astounded he is by you, as if he hasn’t seen you pretty ever in his life. But then again, you can only do so much styling and make-up when San calls you at 10 PM, asking you to “hurry”.

“We’ll see how the night progresses,” you smirk, and grab the first shot. Seonghwa also takes one and slightly raises the small cup.

“I won’t disappoint you.”

Sweet — the taste of the shot.

All types of fruits and harsh, cheap liquour plunge into your mouth and melt on your tongue. It’s going to make your head hurt the next day, one hundred percent, but maybe it will be Seonghwa to get you some pills to soothe the ache.

… If he wasn’t San’s god-damned roommate.

Or he could stay at your home. It’s been a while since another man than him has slept in your bed, and maybe it’s long overdue.

“Let’s hurry up, I wanna dance with you,” you gulp down the sugary liquid and Seonghwa chuckles.

“We’ve got enough time, Y/N. Let’s savour this one together.”

Sweet — The spark in his eyes, his flawless skin, perfectly plump lips— holy fucking shit. Seonghwa is fucking breathtaking.

“Y/N?”, Seonghwa asks and you see that he’s already moved on to the second shot, waiting for you to move on.

“I didn’t know you had that kind of sexy stare in you,” your alcohol blurts out for you and in the meanwhile, you grab the next shot glass.

“Sexy stare?”, Seonghwa asks and grins.

“Screw you! You know what I’m talking about,” you hiss and show him your tongue to offend him, but Seonghwa just tilts his head, raising the glass to your face.

“Loveshot?”, he asks and for a moment, you don’t know whether he’s joking or not. Maybe you’re just feeling weird because a male has said the word “love” in your proximity. (The only man in your life who's a candidate in hearing that word avoids it like a disease.)

“Only if you mean it,” you purr seductively, lick your lips, and praise to fucking god he’s taking the hint. Seonghwa leans in and crosses your arms around, the cold rim of his drink suddenly resting at your lip.

“That’s not how loveshots work,” you notify, but you still mirror him and place your glass under his lips.

“Do you care?”

“No.”

Seonghwa chuckles and with one movement of his hand, the second shot is flowing down your oesophagus. It’s cold, starkly contrasting the humid conditions in the warehouse, but it’s just enough to get your senses rolling again.

You don’t even care that you made Seonghwa miss half the drink, his alcohol tolerance will give him just the right kick from the first shot. Also he doesn’t protest at all, when you hop from your seat to finally get the evening going.

“Let’s go now!”, you order him around and he gladly obeys. “Lead the way,” he says, putting his hands on your shoulder, which he hopefully won't be able to keep there for long, as you both strut down the stairs and into the crowd.

The massive crowd is crazy, and it’s ever-growing.

“What is this place?”, you ask Seonghwa, as he’s being pushed against your back by the people on the way to the dancefloor and Seonghwa has the perfect opportunity to grab you by your hips to not lose you, but frustatingly enough, he doesn’t. His hands leave your shoulders and Seonghwa just tries to manoeuvre to you.

“I wouldn’t be able to tell you,” Seonghwa answers honestly and you look for a free place to roam and dance. People are trying to get as close to the DJ as possible, but once those are gone, there’s actually some space you can use— you just have to get there.

“You come here often?”, you ask, leaning backwards for your voice to hit his skin. You'll be hoarse by the end of the night.

“I’ve only went twice. San went to every single set of Mingi, though!”

“Really? San goes here frequently?”

“Yeah! Does that shock you?”

“Of course it does.” You stop, turn around and Seonghwa’s hands stay in place in his pants, as you talk to him. “This, all of this, doesn’t seem like San at all.”

“Hmm, I know what you’re getting at. But that’s just our boy, eh?”

You stare into his eyes and search for some type of playfulness, but Seonghwa means his words. This is where San roams— is roaming right now, maybe— and it, all of it, just fucking confuses you. This is not the "party" you would have expected to see that man in, and if that wasn't bad enough, he's apparently a regular. You hope you’re not pushing some kind of innocent image onto him, but despite the alcohol that's heating up your cheeks and making you dumber every talking second, you’re seriously puzzled. That he’s never invited you is questionable already, but is “that San for you”? You don't know.

Wiggling your hips, you try to retrace history to the very moment you had met shy little San at the seminar, up until now, where he’s grown three times his size and you feel like he's some type of fucking mystery that is impossible for you to solve. Nerd? Hopeless romantic? Hard to get? Playboy? San may act like he’s open-minded, but he’s the most secretive guy you’ve seen. Not like Seonghwa, who, mind you, is still looking at you with the most intense fuck-me eyes, that it’s actually eating you up.

“Let’s stop talking about San.”

“Why?”, Seonghwa asks, obliviously, eyes turning back to normal.

“Because it’s us here! You and I, Seonghwa and Y/N. If they drank a loveshot together, they should act like it, don't ya think, huh?” you grunt, already slurring your words. You start to move your body according to the heavy beat, tits jerking out to the front, arms waving like they have a life on their own. Seonghwa smiles and accordingly begins to step his feet where yours aren’t; your bodies are annoyingly close, but still not touching at all.

“How do you mean that, Y/N?”, he asks and you slap his revealed shoulder with the back of your hand to stop his teasing. “I thought you wanted to show me your dancing, Seonghwa!”, you whine and he laughs at your comment.

But Seonghwa doesn’t say anything after that, which gets on your nerves even more and in response, you turn your body slightly away while swaying your hips from side to side.

“You know what you said,” you hiss and he probably can’t hear you because the DJ is transitioning to a track with even more bass penetrating your ears.

You scurry your body to the beat and catch the gaze of someone in the crowd, who’s noticed you for the same reasons Seonghwa can’t keep his eyes away from you. The stranger is drilling his gaze up and down your chiselled body, licking his lips. Feeling playful, you make a suggestive expression towards him in return of the attention, winking at him. The male immediately makes his way to you.

"You do molly?”, he asks into your ear and you see that he’s got two skittles with cartoonish hearts and smileys drawn on them. That’s Adam. You never did him before, but you surely have heard of him, your friends have had him, your friends have loved him, your friends had painful break-ups with him. Merciless adam, MDMA.

You look back at Seonghwa who’s still dancing next to you, acting like he's not watching this whole situation go down, putting on his sunglasses again, and pushing it up his nose bridge. It sucks. His skin under the top is teasing you to look at it, and it feels so unusual to be longing for him, like you can't comprehend he's not... the other one.

So, though you do hesitate for a short second, you take two of the heart-painted ones and smile at the stranger, who sounds rotten from inside out, voice raspy and hoarse.

“Are you alone?”, he asks into your ear and while you think of answer, you muster Seonghwa, whose eyes you cannot track anymore, since the black cubic shades are hiding his prettiest possession. Is he still looking at you? Watching the sky? Who knows. Only he knows.

“Maybe?”, you answer and rotate your head to the stranger’s direction. You don’t care for this man, not at all, but what you do care for is Seonghwa’s reaction. Bouncing your ass up and down against the stranger's baggy jeans like the grand girl you are, he gets his hand at your waist and tries to pull you over his place, but, there he is, Seonghwa to come save the night.

“Fuck off, she's taken.”

He pushes the male away with his elbow and the grip immediately loosens up. “Hey, hey, dude, don’t hit me. Sorry, dude.” Seonghwa is visibly taller than him, and apparently that’s enough for the poor guy to get intimidated by his sunglassed face and disappear into the crowd with quick feet.

“YOU WANNA PLAY?”, the artificially deepened voice echoes through the warehouse and you stare into what you can make out from Seonghwa’s eyes with an earnest frown. You’ve felt unnecessarily angsty and frustrated the whole day since you saw that message on San’s phone, and this is the guy who’s going to hold responsibility for it, better with his whole fucking devotion now.

“What was that?”, you tease Seonghwa, who’s finally getting his hands out of his pockets and pulling you closer to him by your wrist. You can’t exactly read his expression since he’s covered his face still, but that actually makes it feel a lot better. There's something off about him, like Seonghwa is a stranger, like you’re not doing it for him, but rather… yourself. You're doing this because it makes you feel good, not the other way around. That's empowering.

“Whatever you want it to be, Y/N.”

“Stop tip-toeing around it! Are you going to fuck me or not? ‘Cause there’s more of those guys everywhere here,” your alcohol spits again and Seonghwa pants.

“Well, shit,” he laughs and finally glides into your waist with his arms. “That was direct.”

“I can flirt with you, but not under these fucking conditions,” you growl, intoxicated, recycling gritty air in your lungs, moving your sticky body to the beat and occasionally grinding against Seonghwa’s lower body with your legs from the front. "I can flirt and fuck you," he hums and frames his hands around your hips, connecting himself to you.

“Do you do molly, Seonghwa?”, you grin, the two pills waiting to be popped in inside your hand.

Seonghwa takes a look at the capsules, and you wait for his answer, as he appears to investigate them. Does he know what he's looking for? Apparently yes, as he pushes up his sunglasses and rubs the corners of his lips with two of his fingers, “Gimme.”

He picks it up from your flattened hand, and you would’ve loved to share it like a love-shot again, but before you could request it, Seonghwa has gulped it down. Not his first rodeo, you assume, and follow his suit.

Good thing that your throat hasn't dried out yet and the pill glides down your throat with your saliva. It's not going to take long until the jubilation of the alcohol you've consumed meets the ecstatic effect of molly, and you bite your lip with a grin. "Never thought I'd be doing drugs with you, Seonghwa," you purr and Seonghwa shrugs with a huff, “I thought you’d never even consider it.” Seonghwa exhales in the heat of it all, pulling you closer.

“What? Because of San?”

“Of course because of San,” Seonghwa cackles and puts his pointy chin in between the space of your collarbone and neck, so that his voice is hitting the spot of your hickey. “You know he’s here somewhere, right?”

“Yeah, but the probability that we’ll see him is like zero, so that’s not my concern.”

“You’d be concerned if he saw us, though?”, Seonghwa asks, loose-tongued, murmuring against your neck. He’s definitely fully gotten drunk, his body heavily weighing into yours, as he gets one arm up and around your head; his hand is tangled into your scalp without a caution of messing up your hairstyle. You finding out what the molly will do to him is only a matter of time.

“Are you asking if I’m committed to him?”

Seonghwa licks his lips, “accidentally” getting your skin with his tongue. It takes you aback a bit and you whine, your eyes dozing off for a short moment. You can still taste the remains of the shot at the back of your cheeks and it's the only thing you can sense correctly. Everything else is either fogged or slowly disappearing, or becoming even harsher like the red laser lights that you fear are going to pierce through you.

“No, I’m not asking whether you’re committed,” Seonghwa answers, leaning into your skin even more, “I know you guys aren’t in a relationship. Or, you know, at least he isn’t committed.”

“WANNA GET NASTY?”

It shouldn’t hurt, but it does. Even when you’re feeling very seduced because he is trying to get the same moaning reaction out of you by licking your sensitive spot and it’s working, you don’t want to be reminded that San doesn’t care for you as much as you do for him. Sure, that sounds harsh, but it’s the truth, isn’t it? You’re not the one living in the same space as San, Seonghwa is.

“Huh? Does he sleep with a lot of women?”, you ask him out of morbid curiosity, acting tough, as Seonghwa works deeper into your neck, getting the skin to soften for him.

“Do you really want to know?”

“Fuck you! Don’t protect me!”

“Ask him yourself,” he lisps, his sharp tongue grazing against your hickey, teasing your pettiness.

“I deserve to know.”

Seonghwa is the one rolling his eyes now, sighing, “You can be such an annoying brat, Y/N. How does San keep up with you?”

You try to yank your head back to show your discontent with his choice of words, but Seonghwa has you deep in his grip and puts you in place.

“You were the one who didn’t want to talk about San,” he lulls into your ear, stroking your hair to calm you down. Sure, that sounds reasonable, but still not an excuse to call you an “annoying brat”.

You take a wild guess about why Seonghwa isn’t just giving you the answer and argue, “I can still be curious, can’t I? San is not committed, you say? Why? Does he get more bitches than you?”

“He tried to get back with his ex.”

Bingo!

Wait, no. What the fuck?

“Huh, when?”, you ask, and irritatingly enough, Seonghwa has begun biting and licking into your neck at the one spot you can’t stop exhaling sweet noises for him. “Seonghwa, you better fuu-huucking answer.”

“Yesterday,” he murmurs against your skin and ding, ding, ding; things make a lot of sense now.

“No, you’re kidding,” you scoff, and push him away with all your strength. With a numbed mind, Seonghwa tumbles back and laughs, “Hey, it’s no big deal, he called you immediately after it didn’t work out.“

“Seonghwa, are you listening to yourself?”

“WANNA GET FUCKING CRAZY?”

“I’m saying it all like it happened, Y/N. San tried to win her back by inviting her to an expensive dinner, but then she flunked out right in the end, when he invited her back home. And, when he came home alone with a boner, San contacted you.”

“You're lying. Don't lie, Seonghwa, lying is a sin," your splur, but once his words have met your brain, it all just becomes chaos inside. It feels like marbles are rolling down inside your head and nothing is making sense, it’s all going nowhere and everywhere with this information. What are you supposed to feel like? Betrayed? There has never been a promise. Sad? You were going to fuck Seonghwa, you're not the most truthful, either.

“Come on, Y/N. You knew it the second San slammed you against that wall at 11 PM, didn’t you?” Seonghwa glides his thumb over your neck and grins, confirming the evidence of yesterday’s night. The roughful sucking of San could barely be covered up by concealer, and you probably sweated it away already.

“He— he said he was stressed.”

“Because of uni? Don’t lie to yourself, Y/N~”, the male purrs. Amidst of it all, Seonghwa is strangely still moving his body calculated to the beat, hitting each one of the drums with his shoulders, all while he hushes behind you to brainwash you with a whiskery voice. “It’s still San we’re talking about.”

You huff perplexedly and are too flabbergasted by his harsh words to not be affected by Seonghwa’s talking and let him hug you tightly again. He’s almost putting you into a headlock of consolation, or something that would have been great if it had been, indeed, consolation. (It is not. He’s almost choking you with his forearm and the way his hand is pushing into your scalp, nothing about this position is in any way soothing.)

“Tell me something, Seonghwa,” you gutter, since the thought has been recoiling rounds in your head forever and curiosity will always kill the cat. “… is she from his volleyball team?”

“No,” he answers and for some reason, this is a lot worse, “she isn’t, but— wait, how do you know about the girl from his volleyball team?”

You don’t answer. For the sake of your heart, you do not answer. You’re still moving, but you’re moving silently, staring into the humorously wild lasers that are teasing you just like he is.

Seonghwa gasps and cups your chin, his thumb meeting your lip, mushing the lower half of your face, trying to turn your face towards his direction, but you resist him. But who are you fooling. Seonghwa doesn't even need to see your expression to ask you, in an almost utterly disappointed whiny tone, "Nooo, Y/N, do you seriously check his phone?”

“I’m gonna punch you in your pretty fuck-face if you keep whining like that, Hwa.”

“Feisty and flattering, and a new nickname too! It must be my birthday,” Seonghwa chuckles and suddenly begins to nibble your earlobe, warm breath from his nose hitting the skin as he pants throughout his dancing. The alcohol is boiling inside you, being churned by the molly, and the crushing disillusionment is slowly into flaming, enraging, hateful desire. It has all gotta go somewhere, and for now, all you can do it talk with this scorching tone that is only going to turn into even more fuming, “How long has San been pining for his fucking ex?”

“For as long as I can remember," Seonghwa answers, seemingly not aware of the severity of this situation, "Middle of the second semester? Exam-season?”

“Nooo,” you scoff and can’t believe what you’re hearing. You don’t even need to calculate what time Seonghwa is talking about, it is engraved deeply into your memories. The same fucking exam season, when you were seeing San every afternoon and evening. You were right fucking there. He knew— you, on the other hand, not so much.

But you should have known.

“Well, yeah,” Seonghwa grins and is running his hands low to your stomach, almost touching your pelvis to get you worked up even more.

Should have known that you weren’t supposed to fall for San.

Angel faces hide the guts of devils’, and right now, your insides are over-cooking with the question "what the fuck were you thinking?" That he’d come around? Like no man in your life has ever come around? That San was the one? No, that San was going to believe that you were the one? 'Well, yeah', he should have, because you are the fucking one. You did so much for him, you could have done so much more for him, and it frustrates you.

“What are you grinning for, you motherfucker?”, you ask, as you peek over and see that Seonghwa has lowered his sunglasses and staring into your empty eyes, searching for a sign of life. You asked, but you don't really need the answer, the picture is drawn perfectly in front of you. Seonghwa is smirking for the same reasons he’s telling you all of this; it’s pretty clear.

“I like it when you’re bossy,” he chuckles, having become more than ‘a bit cocky’ with you, “unlike San. He hates that, right? He’s so weak-hearted, how can he—“

“You’re his friend, Seonghwa,” you insist and grit your teeth, pushing up his sunglasses again with your two fingers, poking into the middle of the lens to make it greasy.

“Friends can say things about each other!”, he giggles gullibly, and scrunches his face together.

All you can say is that Seonghwa sounds and looks moronic in those square sunglasses, senseless and boozed out of his mind, but in the short moment he licks his sharp canine teeth, you suppose that this is exactly how you need him to be.

“You listen to everything, don’t you?”, you ask him, giving into his touch, pushing your back profile so close to him, that there is no touchable space left between you two. Ass pressed against his pelvic area, you breathe heavily into his face that’s glued to your temple. “Every single night I come over to fuck your roommate?”

“Noise-cancelling can only do so much, and your sound is addicting,” Seonghwa pouts— babbling his truths like it’s water falling out of his mouth— and when you see his pink lip shine under the flashing lights, your mind disorients. He is still the pretty boy that says pretty words, even when he's probably faking all of it; he is getting your insides all fuzzy, and you are still being lured in by him, but not for the reasons Seonghwa would enjoy them to.

You’re chasing the feeling of his comfort and you know it. You’re chasing after the man that won’t leave you alone. Or no, you are alone— so fucking lonely because of him even— but you don’t want to be alone, you don’t want him to leave you alone.

San.

San.

Fuck. San.

The feeling of drowning in San’s praise, in his words, inside his bedroom, muffled by his sheets, it hunts you, it makes you feel watched, and it makes you feel like you’re hungry for something you can’t digest. Every word he has said to you is written in your memories in special font, and even though he is out of sight, San will always stay in your mind. Does he do it on purpose? Leave marks, with both words and his lips? To profit off of your yearning? To make himself feel better? To own something? To feel proud? Does he say it that loud on purpose, too? To make his roommate hear him? To make his roommate feel bad in order to feel good?

Maybe he does. Maybe he doesn't. Maybe San doesn't know Seonghwa is listening at all, maybe he doesn't care about any of it.

"Your pretty sounds," Seonghwa repeats himself, his face pressed against your cheek and you roll your eyes at his lips grazing your skin, his heavy breath from his nose warming it up.

These two men are woven by the same needle, knitted with the same material for they say surprisingly similar things and act surprisingly same, but for some reason, it does not feel the same. It is not the same. It should be the same. It should be the fucking same, fuck! You’re going to explode. The way that your head is spinning, your hips swinging, music ringing— people screeching, feet stomping— everything is happening around and inside you. Head, shoulders, knees and toes, livid. Brain, guts, uterus, livid. Let’s not talk about your heart or else we have to start over again. Just forget about your heart and think about the things that are of use tonight. What can you focus on? You can focus on your body glowing hot, but you could also focus on Seonghwa, whose baggy pants is rubbing against your thin minidress. It’s Seonghwa that you wanted, right? Or was it Seonghwa you were supposed to want, because he is the one that wants you back? — No, fuck, let's re-roll, quickly; Seonghwa is grinding against you right now, from behind, and that's exactly what you imagined, wasn't it? Under these lights, under this influence, this is what you wanted, wasn't it?

With the state of your mind, you can not agree with anything; your thoughts sound foreign and it's not your voice speaking, when you grind your ass back. It also doesn't feel like it's your eyes that you're seeing with; Seonghwa’s smile behind of you is becoming blurry and there’s just one more face that’s slowly appearing from the front-ends of your head. There’s a catch though; what you’re seeing is not the soft face you usually cup with your delicate hands and observe in awe when he sleeps, it’s not the face that lights up when he sees you enter through his front door, it's a face that's reading a text message from his fucking ex in the morning and immediately forgets that you're next to him, available as available can be.

It is actually going to make you puke, right here and there. All your emotions, all your ambitions, all of your fucking dreams. Who is San to you? What is he? You’ve known him for what, a year? — Okay fuck, that’s actually more than you thought, but still, it’s not like San and you have met up in any way that wasn’t purely sexual during all the time you knew him. Know him. You don’t know San. You don’t know shit about him. What are you— San and you? What are you going to be? Boyfriend, girlfriend? Has a nice ring to it, but fuck no, right? There are too many girls, right? Which is why you wanted to get yourself another man too, right?

“Come on, Y/N, forget him.”

While you have alcohol and molly inside you, singing two different songs of lust and desire, Seonghwa is moving his legs according to yours and pressing himself more against you. He’s one sadistic dipshit if Seonghwa thinks you could forget any of what you just went through just by moaning into your ear, but you're going with it.

You can't feel a lot right now, except that Seonghwa’s bulge perfectly fits in the space of your ass, rubbing up and down between the two circular shapes, getting himself more erected with every passing beat.

This whole situation is so fucked up and messy.

But, add one more: You are fucked up and messy. The music is building up loudly and people are shaking their bodies next to you, dancing in the high they've reached long time ago, eyes having lost any sign of concentration or sobriety, and you came here to contemplate whether you’re going to have a one-night-stand to prove a point, mixing drugs to get it on faster. You feel quicker, no, you are quick, rushing from one thought to another like you’re fleeing from your inner voices, both the devil and angel. They’re useless in this situation, they have too much reason.

And you don't need any reasons to think you're in the right to fuck him. Seonghwa’s hands are on your abdomen and gently massaging the skin, making you feel like he thinks you’re valuable, but you both know that this dance you’re holding right now barely cost you anything but 10 dollars in cash.

The red lasers haven’t stopped. They are pointing upwards or downwards for you, but you guess, from the way you’re watching Seonghwa’s lips right now, there’s only one way down. There has always been only one way down.

San chooses an ex over you? Then you’ll choose his dumb fucking roommate over him. Two can play this game, and even if he’s had the lead, you’re going to make your play. Is it going to hurt him? You don’t know. Maybe it won’t. But at least it will be over, right? At least this fucking thing will be over.

“Kiss me, Seonghwa.”

“You serious? I thought San was all up your mind right now.”

“Oh my fucking god, just do it before I take it back.”

“LET’S GET FUCKING INSANE”

Seonghwa doesn’t let you ask twice. While people all around you are turning up to the beat-drop, he pulls your chin up and clashes his lips against yours. His teeth clank against you lip and there's a short, piercing pain there, but Seonghwa's high chuckle blows it away. It’s a violent kiss, but mind-numbing enough so maybe you can forget why you decided to kiss him in the first place. While your lips are working against each other, his hand is sliding down to your groin and it's dangerously close to the seam of your tiny dress. One tug and your whole leg is revealed to the crowd, but you don't look down to see how naked Seonghwa is making you; all you see is yourself, in the reflection of his square sunglasses.

His tongue is electrifying, when it forces its entry into your mouth. It’s long and tastes deliciously foreign- a mixture of alcohol and tobacco, which you haven't experienced in pair since a long time. San, no, “he” (this is what you’ll call him now) doesn’t smoke, which at first, you considered as a big win, because you were passively inhaling all the smoke from your prior flings that you’d had the feeling your lungs were being polluted. Yet a year later, you’re clean— cleaner than never before, you should be able to breathe, you should be able to think clearly, but you can’t. Did you think he was pure? Was it that? That he was this untouched man? Maybe he was. Maybe he was, when he was still a nerd who had never heard a woman say the word “sex” in his— or had he? Fuck, had he? You don’t know, you couldn’t have known. ‘He’ was a façade, wasn’t it? He turned into another person immediately, didn’t he?

Let's get back on Seonghwa’s lips.

You're reminded of your lost freedom and as much it drives you insane, it's driving you into a state of pure, adventurous lust. The way Seonghwa works across your slick tongue is animalistic and wild, and you feel like you’re being pursued with no escape. To catch your breaths a little bit, Seonghwa lets go off your chin and thigh, turning you around so he can have better access to your mouth. Not letting the enlivening music go to waste, he presses his lips on yours the second you inhaled for the second time.

You slip your hands under his knitted top, running them up and down his breast, his abs and abdomen to feel his muscles and skin. It’s only a matter of time until he asks you to move off the dance floor, but your alcohol is bombarding you with sweet suggestions you can’t let pass without saying. His exposed skin feels cold under your fingers, but when you cup his hardened erection through the fabric with your hand and move it according to Seonghwa’s tongue slicking against yours, he radiates heat.

“Fuck,” Seonghwa pants into the kiss and you hum, continuing to tease him on this godless dance floor. Nobody has their senses right and is observing you two making out with dozy eyes, nobody cares about anything here. There’s only right now, the song the DJ is playing for the mindless crowd of drugged, intoxicated people. Let’s get insane.

You try to get a good feel of Seonghwa’s cock and its girth with your hand. “You’re big,” you murmur, catching air again, “smaller than San though.”

And there you have it, men are so easy to galvanize.

“Say that again, you fucking cunt,” Seonghwa growls and digs his fingers into your ass, eyebrows pulled down so hard that his forehead could explode.

“Why? ‘Cause you’re better than him?”, you taunt him and click with your tongue, catching a breath. “You’re no better than Sannie,” you sneer, pointing at your hickey with your finger to remind him (but mostly yourself), “don’t think you could be.”

Seonghwa goes fucking angry. Apparently he thinks he’s done so much for you, has been so nice to you, has helped you, whatever, and this is how you show him your thanks. Grabbing your hair, he pushes his forehead against yours and you catch a glimpse of his darkened eyes, feeling the stinging pain from the impact linger, while he talks. His breath is scarce from having kissed you, so he’s trying his best to use his voice to taunt you.

"San is probably fucking his fucking ex-girlfriend right now, do you think you're any better than him, huh, slut? You are the one who's so fucking desperate to get him to love you, and you're still here with me, and you're kissing me, so we're both in the wrong, you fucking whore."

His words don’t mean anything to you, visiting the synapses of your brain, but leaving right after. You just grin with your eyelids covering half of your eye and Seonghwa realizes nothing is arriving inside your sweet, broken mind. Your cheeks are red from the lack of oxygen, drugs and you’re flushed at the cause of his libidinous touch, and Seonghwa sees he's been working around your hair a little bit too much, having ruffled it up to the point that a comb-through will not amount to a lot. You look like a crazy person to him, but nothing attracts a joke more than a hard-hitting punchline.

“We're both single,” is what you lull to correct him, licking over your lips that you can't feel anymore since Seonghwa has kissed them numb. "And I think that's all that matters."

You both hear the music come to an exhilarating high and slowly reach your evaporating point.

“You sound like San,” Seonghwa giggles and he probably thinks it's going to push you over, but it doesn't. He’s still staring into you like he’s searching for a weak spot, but you’re persistent, you’re needy, and while you are weak, you are unforgivably yourself, Y/N.

You smash both your hands on each of his cheeks and you look at yourself through the sunglasses, sneering, "Good. San is a better name to moan."

He scoffs and smiles so condescendingly sweet again, but out of his mouth comes nothing worthwhile. "I'm going to fuck your voice out of your fucking throat, you're never going to moan ‘San’ ever fucking again," he growls and you drench yourself in his vulgarity, kissing him repeatedly.

"Never again," Seonghwa repeats himself, digging his thumbs into your ribs, but his tone isn't as forcing as it is... begging. Asking—demanding you to put all your attention on him, like he knows your heart isn't his and he desperately wants to possess yours. Oh, he definitely knows. You're not fooling anybody, at least didn't try to, but Seonghwa is gullible enough to fall for your tricks, how it seems like. San is painted on your body all the while your dance partner is speaking through his heavy breathing; painted on your neck, in your eyes, it’s annoying Seonghwa, it distracts him, it makes him see red, and not the colour on your skin.

"Awww, do you want me to only moan your name tonight?", you baby Seonghwa, mocking that he's finally revealed his motivations behind all of this. At least you think you've hit the nail in the coffin, when you pout to mirror Seonghwa’s expression.

Seonghwa's greatest sin isn't lust, it's envy. It could be any girl coming and leaving their dorm, moaning San’s name through the thin walls, never to be seen again and he wouldn't bat a second eye, but you— Y/N? San letting a woman like you go without further notice sickens him, like a crime, like a mistake. To hear your voice be pleasured by San at night, and then hear you sing good-bye to the man who does not care as much as he does in the morning, that has sent Seonghwa into a spiral of jealousy, but you’re not sure why. Some fucked-up reason probably, though it doesn’t seem like an ex is the cause this time. Maybe it’s really just because of you.

Sorry to say that you don’t care about that though. Not one single fucking bit. You don't want any of that complex trauma-talk tonight. You want to have sex and forget the sex right after.

"Be mine tonight, Y/N," Seonghwa answers and his eyebrows are pushed in to his forehead. He looks sultry, at least the parts you can see. Sultry, passionate, ready to fuck you, no, desperate to fuck you, in fact, you can feel the pre-cum soak his pants, when you cup his girth.

“You’re so pathetic,” you smirk, “it might actually be worth a try.” Seonghwa lets out a breathy exhale, finally breaking. You don’t know if it’s the alcohol, the molly, or his issues that suddenly took over his conscience, but he doesn’t have any of that left. He grabs you by your wrist with a grip that leaves a white mark, and without forewarning, Seonghwa yanks you through the people.

You hit each and every one of the strangers on your way to wherever. Shoulder hitting against shoulder, breast against breast, it better not leave any more bruising that you already have on your neck. “Seong- wha!”, you wheeze, tumbling at his force, tripping over your own feet over and over. The hall is huge, and he’s seemingly seeking to get to the very end of it.

“Seonghwa!”, you repeat yourself, but he won't listen to you. You're being pulled into a rollercoaster of anything but emotions (at least for you) and you can hear laughter leave your mouth without reason as you pass by irritated people who find it impolite to be barging into the big crowd like this. This dude's crazy, they scorn, but they don't really look that lucid as well, you find, with the last bits of thinking you can do.

"Where are we going?", you ask, but mostly to reassure that you still have a sense for geographical knowledge. You can see the bar again, mobs of people dancing on the stairs so that it's shaking even more compared to how you two had left it, but most importantly, you see that this is a space that's occupied by your kind. So much skin. So many slutty outfits. Outfits? Lingerie. This side looks like a fucking strip-club. Are you at a strip-club? What the fuck is this place? No, seriously, what the fuck is this place?

Seonghwa is finally stopping and you catch a breath from the running. With him doing his weird hand-signs again, you recognize the security guard from the beginning, smiling under his sunglasses, showing an "OK"-sign and pointing to the back of the stairs. You could swear he winked at you.

"What the fuck?", you ask, but Seonghwa only shrugs, making you follow his backwards steps under the stairs, where in black graffiti 'MY PEOPLE DONT BELIEVE IN LOVE' is smeared all over the wall. The same walls are occupied by couples or at least people making out wildly with their eyeliners smeared beyond repair. Is this some sex-area? (No idea) Is this legal? (100% no) Does Seonghwa look so fucking hot without his top on? (Fuck) He does.

Your eyes go cross-eyed, when Seonghwa enters the most mirrored bathroom you've ever seen in a warehouse, but before you can question the fact why people invest in decorating a fucking porta-potty, the male is pulling off his knitted top with one smooth pull, barely waiting a second for you to close the door behind you. The vibrations of the music ring on the metal stairs over you, and you feel like the beat is mushing your brain one size smaller, when you're met by Seonghwa barging at your body.

Pushing you against the plastic door, you feel all of Seonghwa's naked torso with your hands stroking roughly over his skin, and you admire his jewellery sitting on his collarbones, getting your fingers at it around his neck to pull him closer. "You like my necklace?", Seonghwa murmurs, as he pushes his lips into the crook of your neck.

"Choke on it," you gutter and yank him upwards, kissing him. While you do so and Seonghwa begins to unclothe you by getting your arms up, you catch a glimpse of yourself through the mirror. Your hair isn't looking as silky as it did when you left your home, there's mascara smudged around your eye already, but if you're not mistaken, and you can see it by how Seonghwa is sucking your nipples the second your bra falls to the floor, you will look worse in no time.

But that's not to say that you aren't still looking gorgeous. You look bewitchingly sexy, eyelids fluttering with each of Seonghwa's eager touches that are tracing down your body. "Fuck, you look so good," he murmurs and he's trying to keep his eyes open in order to see you. He's gotten you naked pretty quick considering the circumstance, you would've wished for a bit more foreplay here, but maybe it's a reoccuring theme to be impatient.

"You are such a fucking gorgeous girl, San doesn't know what he's missing right now," Seonghwa wheezes and goes through his hair, once he has your dress dropping on the dirty floor, revealing your joke of underwear. If he had kept your bra, he would have seen that you've worn a matching set of burgundy lingerie, but Seonghwa's mouth is still drooling at your pair of perfect thighs, his hand stroking over his lips. You roll your eyes at him and lean your head against the plastic door. You've done such a good job forgetting his name, and here's this dumbass mentioning him again. "You bet your ass he's missing this, huh?", you snarl and play with your own breast with one hand, while the other is cupping Seonghwa's rib, gliding down to his v-line, where his throbbing cock is awaiting you.

"He doesn't deserve you, Y/N."

He wheezes again. It seems like Seonghwa is taking his last breaths, unable to form words since your fingers are exploring how quick they can get to his erection.

"And you do?", you snap back and scoff. He pushes his glasses up to his forehead and for the first time since a long time, you can see Seonghwa's eyes shimmer. Oh fuck, you think, and it's difficult to not kiss him again. You're a bitch. You know you're a bitch for not caring about his feelings, and you know you will indeed not be better than San if you ghost this man right after this evening, but it must be done. For your sake, at least.

"I do," Seonghwa answers, though a lot weaker and less confident than he used to be before. You sigh. He may think he deserves you, but you don't deserve him. His gaze is too sweet, you've got to put those sunglasses back on, if you don't want to develop something. The only thing you can look at to get your mind elsewhere is yourself, in the mirror.

"Don't try to prove yourself," you murmur and Seonghwa wraps his arms around your back and props you by your thigh to lift you up. You can see his back muscle tense up, as he has you steadily in his grip. "I'm not," he answers and there's something that's fluttering inside your breast, when Seonghwa licks up your jawline, because you feel everything; From how wet his tongue is, how warm his saliva sits on your skin to the way what an adoring look Seonghwa is wearing on his face, as he kisses you. "I got nothing to prove to you."

You smirk and see yourself looking very dozy, drunken on alcohol, drugged by MDMA, ducked by Seonghwa's hand between your legs. It's pushing between your folds and with your last bit of control you have over your body, you spread your legs for him, inviting him to get his fingers inside your panties, and of course he does.

With a grin, Seonghwa devotes his tongue to your jaw again and works it into your skin with circular motion. "So fucking wet, and I thought you didn't want to fuck me."

"Who said I wasn't going to fuck you?"

Seonghwa is too busy sucking on the other side of your neck (other side meaning the side that is still unhickey-ed) to answer, but you're persistent. You came to this place to fuck him, and you're pretty sure that nothing from what you told him tonight alluded to something else. And also, even when you're fucked out of your mind, you still have a sense for people who keep secrets. So while Seonghwa is sucking small patches of skin on your neck and you see yourself with an opened mouth with sighs leaving it that you can't hear with your own ears.

"San says things sometimes," Seonghwa murmurs and continues to plant roses on your neck that you can see appear on your skin, "but that's irrelevant now."

"What does he say?", you insist, but the charcoal-haired man puts on his sunglasses again and shakes his head. Switch. As if you hadn't had enough from men who were two-faced, Seonghwa hides his eyes, turning into an inscrutable being again. A stranger. A stranger who's groping your cunt from the front, making your groin tense up and push him closer from the back. You're wrapping him with your legs and holding onto him tightly, when he catches a breath.

"Meaningless things,” he pants and throws you over the door, your arms landing on the frail sink in front of you. The mirror expands and all of the sudden you see yourself in full quality, in all your glory and Seonghwa is only supporting you from the back. His hand is grabbing your chin and pushing it up to the mirror, his pointing finger smudging your lip. With your lips slightly opened, it just makes sense to you to lick around his finger and look at him with a demanding look, eyebrows sultrily pushed together.

"Fuck, Y/N," Seonghwa gulps and cups your breast from behind, massaging it, while he presses his hot lips on your back. "Can I eat you out? Please,” he sighs and you take his finger in, lubing it up with your saliva.

"Do whatever you fucking want," you sneer and balance yourself with two hands on the sink, as Seonghwa raises a leg and throws it over his shoulder, his pretty face planted into your pussy the second you've given him permission to. You spasm to the front, Seonghwa's hair tickling your lower abdomen, as he works his tongue over your slick folds. If his tongue was great for kissing, it's certainly great for cunnilingus too, no, maybe even better suited for it. He's reaching spots that haven't been reached by a tongue in a long time and with the wet muscle working in and out inside you, you're becoming a moaning mess with fluttering eyelids in no time.

"Fuuuck", you gasp, when Seonghwa kneads your ass that's extended out in the air. The sound of his slurping and the music outside assimilate and mix up, and if it wasn't for the hightened senses you got from your molly-influence, it feels like everything is hammering you down from the outside. You can feel each twitch of Seonghwa's mouth, how he smiles, how he's yelping for air, how he's licking over his lips — you're going to fall somewhere, and if it's not into the cheap sink and the mirror that's taunting you, it's in love with his tongue that’s going to make you cum.

"So soon?", Seonghwa murmurs, and two fingers begin to penetrate your gaping hole, as he flicks his tongue over your sensitive clit.

"Fuck, fuck!", you whine and Seonghwa takes note of how your entrance is tightening around him, angling his fingers towards your g-spot. "So fucking good!", you breathe and you're trying to get a glimpse of your mirrored image in front of you, but your eyes are rolling to the back of your head too much.

"Mhm~", Seonghwa hums with an amused tone, repeating a cycle of sucking and licking, pumping against your g-spot. You're flying, the loud tunes bombarding the walls of the porta-potty are slowly getting to your head and intrusing what's left of your conscious mind, only feeling the tickling sensation that is being eaten out by none other than Park Seonghwa.

Until it stops.

You were whining, announcing your impending orgasm, but he apparently had other ideas, pulling out his fingers and removing his lips from you the second you were drawing together your body, preparing for sweet release. "Don't fucking stop!", you yell and grab Seonghwa by his hair, pushing him closer to your cunt by force. "Seonghwa!"

Seonghwa, who you don't know if he seriously just wanted to be called by his name in this situation, chuckles in witticism and wraps his arm around your thigh, getting the other leg over his shoulder too. You're sitting up front now, and there is no space for him to get his finger anywhere near your cunt, but his tongue is more than enough.

"Make me cum or I'm gonna fucking leave, you fucking asshole," you growl and grip a big chunk of his hair to get your message across. The man below you moans and resumes his job, clearly attracted by your lust-driven dominance. 'I like it when you're bossy', you re-call, and before you can finish the quote in your head, Seonghwa has plunged his tongue into your cunt.

"Ungh, fuck!", you moan, a bit more sensitive and distorted this time. Trying to hold your heavy upper body straight, Seonghwa is laving at your cunt, driving you crazy with the speed of his tongue maneuvering inside you. Maybe it was better that Seonghwa edged you, because now every flick is shooting you further into the abyss of pleasantry. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," you stutter, the second wave of the overwhelming euphoria gathering itself like a tsunami.

Seonghwa is more relaxed than you are, though his whole face is busy being used to pleasure you. His nose is dug into your clit and he's shaking his head around to be able to tickle it all during the while he's cutting away his breath to pant into your heat and spreading your slick on his tastebuds.

"Make me cum," you whine, "make me cum with your tongue!"

"Say 'please Seonghwa'," Seonghwa smirks and has the tip of his tongue placed on your clitoris just enough for your orgasm to not be washed away, but definitely not coming, while you grip more of his hair.

"You fucking bitch, I'll never fucking—", you pant, but there's no other way around it. You need this orgasm. "You—"

Seonghwa looks up to you and you can see him waiting. Pushing your thighs together because he annoys you so much, you yank his head closer to your cunt and scream, "okay, fuck, make me fucking cum, Seonghwa, please!"

The man between your thighs chuckles through his nose and once you said the magic-words, he opens his mouth back open to lap around your clit and cunt like a mad dog. Having been denied your orgasm for the second time, the third attempt to chase it down hits you even more, making you breathe heavily and loudly, and this time, the strings are pulling you to total stupification.

"Please, please, please, Seonghwa, please—"

Repeating the words Seonghwa wants to hear so bad again and again, you're fuelling his decision to finally allow you to come. His tongue circles around your clit as if he was racing with the music and your face is parallel to the floor, when your body goes lax and the strands of Seonghwa's hair are the only thing keeping you up.

"Seonghwa, please," you whisper again, weak, and almost sent over the top, while Seonghwa growls under you, his tongue stroking over your sensitive bud until you're shaking and pressing your legs together. "Fuck!", you scream out and Seonghwa throws one leg away from his shoulder, your wobbly foot landing on the floor, when the male stands up and gets to fingers into your cunt.

"Seonghwa, please—", you gasp, when he rams them into your throbbing arousal that barely reached its high and you have to get your arms around his neck if your knees are still worth something to you. "Oh my fucking god," and other moans come spurred out of you and Seonghwa bites into your shoulder to add another stimulative pain to all the sensations you're feeling.

His fingers are long and slender and for all you can grasp, they know what they're doing, when they're driving in and out with no mercy. That this is Seonghwa, you don't really care, that this isn't San, you do just a little bit, but "caring" takes a bit too long in the brain anyway. If your first orgasm from his tongue made your head fly, the second one is evaporating it. Your head feels light and corrupted by the DJ screaming inaudible things into his set, an artificially deepened laughing-track following his ad-lib and your lower body is trembling like a new-born deer, when Seonghwa keeps pushing against your soft patch inside. “Stop— stop, Seonghwa—“, you pant and your legs hold Seonghwa's wrist until he wiggles it out.

"You good?", Seonghwa laughs. He walks behind you and raises your face by your chin, pressing his own cheek next to yours, so both of your faces are seen in the mirror, his pelvis pushed against your ass again.

"Uh-huh," you shudder, your runny mascara making your eyes sticky, "very good."

He smiles, though it's definitely not a friendly smile. This isn't what friends do. It never will be something that friends do and you try to find some type of sanity behind your sunken irises, but there's nothing there. There is someone knocking on the door, Seonghwa's phone is vibrating in his pants, and like the bad person you are, you can't stop to wish that behind at least one of these interruptions is a certain someone is waiting for you, asking for you or anything— fuck. It's worse Seonghwa somehow knows what you're thinking, taking out his phone with his free hand, your face still being cupped by the other.

"You think this is him, don't you?", he asks and lets his temple drop against the top of your head, "Let's bet."

"If you think I'm gonna bet on something like that," you hiss and grind your bare ass against his clothed cock to distract him from the fact he's correct, “you’re a fucker.”

"I'm gonna fuck you, so I don't know where you're coming from here."

You scoff and throw his phone into the sink, when Seonghwa seemingly opens the message and starts to grin.

"Seonghwa," and you know you're lying through your teeth here with the full awareness that Seonghwa probably knows that you’re lying as well, "I want you," and yet you have the very secure feeling that you got into his head.

"Hm, what?", he asks and looks confused, unable to be angry that you snatched his phone out of his hand. You smirk for a short time and lean into his hand that's stroking your cheek. "I want you, Seonghwa," you sigh and pout. If you can't commit, you might as well commit to the lie, right? Be a little opportunistic.

"I don't care about San," you whisper and Seonghwa pulls down his glasses, making him human again.

"Really now…”

Choi San: the connection is so bad Choi San: where are you right now?

You nod and there’s a black-tinted tear rolling down your cheek, warm and melting on your skin. Seonghwa takes his thumb and glides it over the flow and holds his hand at your cheek again.

Choi San: i saw her Choi San: wtf she looked so different

You both saw the message and you both decided to ignore it. It doesn't matter anymore, his hand was already between your legs, your arousal has already coated his fingers.

That's how this works.

His touch, caressing your woeful face, his eyes pitying your pain. He's still erected, definitely impatient, but Seonghwa has something that you haven't experienced for a long time. You don't want to think of it, you can't think of it, because it might just be an illusion, but when Seonghwa slides his arms around your waist and pulls you closer to him, you have to suppress the suffocating feeling that you must never see this man ever again, if you don't want to carry this burden with you. You can't tell yourself enough, you do not want Seonghwa.

But it's nice.

"Look at yourself, Y/N. Look how pretty you are."

It's nice to know that someone wants you. That someone cares to wipe away the tears from your eyes, though they're not tears formed by a sadness you’d be able to express, a sadness that encourages you to hold eye contact with yourself, as Seonghwa whispers words of comfort into your ear. "Don't cry, pretty girl," he murmurs, and it feels like the music is being subdued around you. You've fallen from grace. “You could have anything in the world..”

How nice would it be, if he was right? You’re not sad, you have everything you could, don’t you? It could be this is just another lie you're going to commit to to protect yourself, but Seonghwa is holding you by your throat, cutting your airflow. The blood curdles in your head and while the male behind you is opening up his pants, the phone blinks.

Seonghwa and you both look down. Incoming call: Choi San.

"Oh," Seonghwa exhales and immediately checks for your reaction in the mirror, but your expression is empty. The drugs are fogging your mind and there is no ounce of vitality behind your eyes.

Seonghwa turns the phone around. "Fuck me first, Seonghwa," you tell him, your voice wispy, barely understandable, he probably had to lip-read in order to understand what you were saying, "let's get it over with."

He doesn't appreciate your dismissive tone, but Seonghwa is too horny to say anything against it, pushing you over the sink, grabbing his cock and placing it near your cunt. While your abdomen is pressed against the dirty, cold surface, Seonghwa is murmuring something under his breath and gliding his hot, throbbing erection across your pulsating folds. "I don't care at all," you whine, trying to convince yourself and ignore the continuous buzzing from his phone, but also make him hurry up. There's an end-goal you're chasing here.

"Kiss me," you order the male behind you, and as he finally positions his tip at your entrance, Seonghwa tilts your head to the side, ripping your gaze away from his mobile. "You really like kissing, don't you?", he huffs and smirks, pushing himself into you in one slow thrust. "Fuuuck," you breathe, feeling your walls expand for his length, "what about it?"

"I just think it's sweet. It makes it more personal, doesn't it?"

"Come on, Hwa, are you trying to make me angry again? I'm getting tired here," you purl and visibly roll your eyes at him, your eyelids getting heavier with each word that's spoken out loud. Your body weighs into Seonghwa's arms and if he doesn't hurry up, you'll fall asleep, your pulsating cunt tightening around his girth.

"Sweetheart, let me talk," he says, in a soft voice that makes your heart drop. You don't want him, you don't want his sweetness, fuck, you only wanted Seonghwa for this one night, for his dick and dick only, why is he trying to get inside your head? Don't do it, you try to mouth to him. You don't know him, he doesn't know you, his cock is inside your cunt, this is the worst timing to—

"You're something else."

"Seonghwa, stop, before you say anything too nice. Just close your mouth, this isn't good for both of us, you already said we're bad people. You know we don't want this," you mutter and start moving your ass to somehow get his mind elsewhere, but through his whimpers and low moans, Seonghwa won't stop grunting under the influence.

"No, speak for god-damn yourself, because, shit, Y/N, I can't watch it anymore, okay? Every day and night— You come over and let yourself be played by San, that fucking asshole, and I just think—"

"Seonghwa, shut the fuck up!", you scream and you're a breath away from pulling his cock out your cunt and leave this place naked, but just when you thought you can't do it anymore, Seonghwa has gotten his hands on your hips, digging his fingernails into your skin as if he's trying to hopelessly keep you close, his pelvis clapping against your ass, as he strikes into you.

Surprised, you moan and your fingers slip against the edge of the sink, strands of your hair falling in front of your face. You weren't prepared for that kind of vigor.

"Don't you dare think I'm that pathetic," he growls and thrusts into you with force in a rhythm that is terrifyingly close to the music outside, his cock slamming against your inner wall, making your legs close up by themselves.

"I'm not thinking I could treat you better," Seonghwa huffs and gets the hair away from your face, grabbing your hair to clear up your view, "I'm thinking what a fucking cockslut you are, Y/N."

Drugs never make sad people happier. Never make broken people whole.

So even when Seonghwa makes you realize that none of the men in your life have ever taken you serious, a hoarse laugh leaves your mouth, and you tilt your head to the back to examine the traces of them on your neck. Your eyes glisten with the way you're being fucked from behind and your mouth is not closing, you've lost control over yourself a long time ago, and it's not when this long day started with you in San's bed, it's when he took off your shirt on that random night during exam season.

"You're lucky you're pretty," he grunts and you chuckle, smiling absent-minded, upper body see-sawing with Seonghwa's pelvis-movement. Your ass is slowly hurting from how hard he is driving himself in, but you're too busy looking at your neck.

Red, red, red. A little bit of purple. A big patch here, small spots over there; anyone could look at you and would know that you've been claimed by someone. Maybe even think that you're, gasp, in a relationship! They wouldn't guess it was two people to leave these hickeys, and frankly, they would be right to think you're claimed by one person only.

"San said he'd fuck me stupid," you giggle— you're fetching old memories from your mind, re-painting the colors, completing the gaps like a mandala; the same memories from the older days which you wouldn't call better, but certainly easier; from days where you didn't have to worry about a man breaking your heart.

Seonghwa scoffs and grabs you by your tit, pulling your nipple with harsh tugs, the sensitive, delicate nub being wounded by his aggressiveness. He's stopped being gentle a long time ago, leaving a big star-shaped mark on your ass by clapping the surface of his hand.

"San said I'm his whore," you reminisce, biting your teeth through the pain, and Seonghwa is speeding up his thrusting, his cock angled inside you to entirely fill out your tight space.

"San said—"

Seonghwa has had enough. He's pressing the surface of his hand onto your mouth and nose, silencing you, cutting you short of your air, your eyes rolling back, but it doesn't prevent your thoughts to continue tumbling down. Seonghwa may be jolting his hips into you like his life depends on it, and in a way, that may be true, but he'll never pleasure you like San could.

People-pleaser. San said he was a people-pleaser.

You don't remember the orgasm, you don't remember Seonghwa's loud grunt into your ear, you don't remember how much hot cum he ejaculated into you, how panicked the black-haired was, when he asked you whether you took the pill, how quickly he became sober and put his clothes back on, the speed of time seemingly passing like a rocket-ship, the music never stopping to blitz into your brain, how the porta-potty became really fucking empty, once Seonghwa left it, but what you do remember is how you took his phone that he forgot like the dumb-ass he was, and how weak your voice sounded, when you answered San's call that by some magical way, kept ringing in.

"Can you come fetch me?"

"Who is this?"

"Come fetch me, please."

"Y/N?"

And people-pleasers should do anything to keep their people happy.

Especially if they're Choi San and avoidant of conflict.

part 4: coming soon!