#I hated onions

[bigassbowlingballhead]

Guess who had onions a second night in a row and now has a tummy ache

[thehumanwiki]

Pokémon but I once again badly edited Onion Headlines onto it

Part 1, Part 3

[ayo-edebiri]

💀

[lesbianthetridentarius]

harrow didn’t make her soup out of g1deon’s least favorite vegetables out of spite! to be fair, that is what the reader is meant to believe when the detail is first mentioned, because it is funny in the moment.

but soon after that initial sentence, we learn the real reason:

harrow needed g1deon to eat lots of broth so she would have enough marrow in his intestines to grow a whole skeleton party out of his insides. she was able to make him eat more broth by making the other ingredients in the soup, every other option, things he categorically refused to eat. these were tactical vegetables.

[kitakami-kid]

i am once again projecting my pain onto my favs

[3-aem]

when he splash his pure shit water up ur nose during butt bath time and then acts like the victim

[itsriotmotherfuckers]

When Harry is born, Sirius is dead terrified of holding him. He will do literally anything to avoid it. He spills hot coffee on his arm when Lily offers the first time, playing it off as an accident. He lies that he hurt his elbow in a battle when James tries to hand Harry over. He casts a wordless, wandless spell on his arm to cover it in rashes, saying he shouldn’t, just in case it’s contagious, when Remus tries to pass Harry to him. He comes up with excuses every single time. He lies to Lily, to James, to Remus, Peter, Mary, Marlene, Dorcas, Emmeline, Frank, Alice, and everyone else who comes into contact with Harry and him.

Everyone, after two months of this, assumes that Sirius just doesn’t like babies and isn’t willing to say it to them, for some reason. When James finally corners him, handing him Harry because “he’s your godson! You can’t go your entire life avoiding him. How do you expect to bond with him if you won’t even let him hold your finger?” Sirius awkwardly holds the kid, every muscle in his body tense, tears in his eyes, shaking, genuinely petrified. James takes Harry back and finally presses Sirius until he spills.

Sirius adores Harry. He doesn’t love kids, generally, but his nephew, his godson, is the exception. That doesn’t change the fact that he is terrified of the idea of hurting Harry. He’s so scared that his upbringing has permanently fucked something in his brain up and, if he gets into close contact with a kid, that something will be triggered. He’s terrified that he, if presented with an innocent, sweet, adorable child, could become the monsters that raised him.

[disinhume]

He's not very good at teaching anyone how to cook

[stararch4ngelqueen]

cooking together date night with jason using the “here, let me show you trope” while you’re trying to idk cut something up and he comes up behind you and takes your hands and guides you “like this” he says and kisses you on the head while you’re just cutting up veggies together

This is based off a distaste I have. If you do like it, fight me

—

You didn’t like onions. The smell, the taste, the crunch.

Unless it was incredibly unnoticeable in a dish, you despised it. Which means you may not have liked a lot of foods.

It bugged you, but Jason wanted to convince you to try it in different ways. What’s an easy way to mask the flavor and texture of an onion? Cook it down in a soup.

Now, here you stood fully convinced in front of a cutting board with a knife in hand, staring down a yellow onion like it’s a demon without its disguise. You did this for the promise of warm soup inside a bread bowl to combat the cold night outside the foggy windows.

“It’s not pointing a gun at you.” Jason’s comment throws you off, though you knew you looked more stunned than terrified.

“Need help, buttercup?” He approaches after coring out two sizable caverns into fresh bread. Your pleading gaze says it all, giving you a heartwarming smile.

“It’s easy, just gotta get the hang of it.”

His palm brushes along the back of yours. His fingers cradling your hand, reinforcing around the black handle.

After chopping off the top to rid the onion of its papery skin, he quickly cuts it in half, believing he’d only need about half of it. He turns the onion and proceeds to cut lengthwise over the top, making small, thin lines along the bulbous body.

“Watched Alfred do this little trick once,” Jason comments as he worked, fighting back a growing smile every moment he’d feel a nervous little quiver within his gentle grasp.

He shows you that this little hack essentially dices up the onion without the tedious work. You were too occupied in the movement of his hands along yours, expressing his knife skills through your inexperienced fingers.

“Not too hard, was it?”

Your head cranes back a bit, your lashes fluttering with beady tears.

“What?” His brows furrow in concern. There was no way you got cut, right?

“This burns.” You couldn’t help but laugh, embarrassed by the stupid chemical reaction out of your control. “This burns really bad.”

“Aww, poor baby.” Jason chuckles after clicking his tongue before he takes the knife out of your hand, sliding the demented cutting board off to the side.

He steps closer and settles an arm over your front, leaving you sinking into the warmth radiating off his torso against your back. A toasty fire, cozy company, and he’s all yours.

His lips settle along your head, kissing you twice for good measure. “I got it babe. You did good.”

[starrysharks]

a buncha weirdos draw themselves

[nachosforfree]

Post: you NEED to eat more than 2 types of vegetables I DONT CARE IF YOURE AUTISTIC IM AUTISTIC TOO AND CAN DO IT WHICH MEANS YOU DEFINITELY CAN TOO!!! Just find a way to make them taste good Its literally sooo easy!!!!

The notes: yeah! Here's some ways you can do that: *lists 1000 mouth torturing methods*

[bananaede]

izutsumi but I can't remember her design

[pininiu]

Yeah…

Drew the Bulb Burglar

[navenslowpoke]

Idk they are just cute

[b-ck3t]

Squeeze