#I hated Amanda throughout this entire episode

[enixamyram]

You know, the ending of the episode has made Amanda look even worse to me. At the start I just thought she was a judgmental bitch but now I realise she's a selfish bitch who let her personal life not just get in the way of her job - but push her to outright attacked a victim of sexual assault in the most disgusting way. Like, am I supposed to be more understanding now she admitted it's because her boyfriend was a dick that she literally threw money at a victim and claimed it was her own fault because what did she expect from that line of work???

And you know what, I really resent everyone else not putting her in her place throughout the episode. She was beyond nasty taking out her personal shit on a goddamn rape victim while everyone else just kind of sighed and looked unhappy but never actually call her out for it. It's so frustrating. I swear, earlier season Olivia would have tore Amanda apart if she saw her treating/talking to a rape victim like that.

[solarsleepless]

hello all

surprise yall. bet u thought u weren't getting season 2 for a while. i'm bored and i miss these lil guys so here's some season two of the autistic kristy comp!!!

if you're new here (which you probably aren't if you've been following, but just in case), hi, and welcome to the kristy thomas autism analysis, where i'm rewatching the show and writing down her autistic traits as i see em (as well as noting any neurodiverse traits in the other girls). here's part 1, 2, 3/4, 5 and 6 if you haven't seen them. feel free to follow the #autistic kristy comp tag to get to these new posts quicker!!

anyways, without further ado, onto season 2!!!

Episode 1

"family is when you can eat dry cereal out of a box with your hands" i feel you, kristy. plain, dry cereal is a popular food option among autistics because it can fulfil our sensory seeking orally!! you'll find many autistics are big fans of plain cereal (just look at this page ASHHJFHR)

more of kristy's strictness on routine. she's very dependant on it and gets seemingly irrationally angry when it's broken in some way. jessi arrives late and kristy says it herself in the narration that she really, really hates people being late, as they're a break in routine and what to expect. it's more obvious in season 1, especially earlier, but it's still here, and she's learnt how to manage her feelings a little better :]

stimming!!! you can catch her bouncing her foot throughout the entire scene, and in one shot she breaks away from fiddling with her fingers

kristy adores directness because autistic people don't pick up on subtext like allistics do. to the others, to tell him you miss him is too direct, but with kristy, it's common sense, as she wouldn't pick up on it through other means

we see shannon (kristy's new puppy) lying on kristy before david michael takes shannon on a walk. autistics love pressure stimulation, which is why some have weighted blankets. others have service dogs that perform DPS - deep pressure therapy. while shannon isn't a service dog, kristy's likely a fan of physical pressure, so shannon can still do that!!

additional notes

this isn't on any of the other girls, but on david michael!! kristy says that david michael hates pancakes, and while it could just be a matter of taste, it could be that he hates the textures, and autism tends to run in families!

i think it's pretty obvious that mallory has adhd (hyperactive type) or audhd. her mouth runs faster than her brain and she seemingly doesn't know when to stop talking, and jessi has to tap her to tell her to stop talking. this is evident later in the season, in her episode with claudia, so i'll expand on it more later!!

"you're young, you're in love, and you're in paris." "...i'm not in paris" taking things literally (mary anne)

it's possible that the delaneys are autistic? amanda says that both her and her mom like animals more than people, which is common for autists, as there's no judgment from animals, and karen says that amanda has no ability to talk to people.

[litcityblues]

Weird Feelings, But A Fond Farewell

I have weird feelings about Star Trek Discovery. When it was first announced, I was less than thrilled. Another prequel, I thought, and not even a particularly interesting one. (There's a whole blank page of history between The Original Series and The Next Generation that remains largely unexplored in the chronology. What happens in the Temporal Wars or the aftermath of the Dominion War? I would have been intrigued to see that any of those-- a prequel to the Original Series? Not so much.)

The first couple of seasons were interesting and I'm still not entirely sure how to feel about them. For a start, Michael Burnham (Sonequa Martin-Green) is not exactly your typical Trek Captain. Point of fact, she starts out by getting her Captain, Phillippa Georgiou (Michelle Yeoh) killed and starting a war with the Klingons. If that wasn't enough, we get more wrinkles thrown at us: Michael's parents had been killed in a Klingon attack on their colony, and with no other family, she gets adopted by Sarek of Vulcan and his wife, Amanda Grayson.

That's right: Spock had a secret adopted human sister.

Now, that part didn't bother me. In fact, it was logical, after a fashion- though why we hadn't met her before was still something of a mystery. But if you're Sarek and you've got a human wife and a half-human son that you struggle to understand and connect with, a human sibling (even an adopted one) would be something worthy of consideration should the opportunity to present itself.

The fact that Michael gets raised on Vulcan also makes the character make sense-- if Spock has trouble dealing with his emotions from time to time, Michael lets logic get in the way of hers, which is why she insists on firing on the Klingons, believing, logically, that they will only respond to a show of force.

Speaking of the Klingons: not the Klingons you've come to know and expect-- which I was also of two minds about. On the one hand: Discovery era Klingons are far more alien than 90s-Trek Era Klingons. They feel alien. They feel new-- their leader, T'Kuvma, lights the beacon of Kahless and unites the warring houses behind him in a war against the Federation.

We then meet a prisoner Michael Burnham who gets swept aboard the Discovery where we meet Tilly (Mary Wiseman), Stamets (Anthony Rapp), Saru (Doug Jones) and Dr. Culber (Wilson Cruz) and we soon find ourselves running around the Mirror Universe with Captain Gabriel Lorca (Jason Isaacs) using a spore drive, where Discovery jumps from Point A to Point B instantaneously using the spore network that runs throughout the Universe.

After we get the first season dealt with, we get a plot twist for the second season when they encounter the U.S.S. Enterprise and Pike (Anson Mount) takes command to investigate seven mysterious signals that have been appearing all over the galaxy.

Pike was so good in this role and the introduction of the Enterprise went so well that we got Strange New Worlds out of the deal, so if Discovery did anything for Trek, there's always that. You can hate every episode of this series, but we got Strange New Worlds out of it, so something good came of it. (I don't hate this series, by the way. I think parts of it are very good indeed.)

But what I think turns the show is the decision at the end of Season 2 to send Discovery 900 years into the future.

Whether it was because the showrunners and writers realized that had sort of written themselves into a corner or whether it was the plan all along, I don't know but it was the boldest move in the history of the franchise- they BOLDLY WENT-- how much more Star Trek could you get than that?

Season 3, Discovery's First in the Future was interesting. The Federation and the Galaxy were devastated by a disaster known as 'The Burn' where all the dilithium was suddenly rendered inert by something-- Discovery, once it reaches the future, sets about finding what's left of Starfleet and putting it back together, which they successfully do and defeat the Emerald Chain which is the preeminent power in the galaxy. By the end of the season, Discovery is transporting dilithium to start the process of reconnecting planets and the Federation starts coming back together little by little.

(Honestly, I need to rewatch this season at some point. I might be judging it a little unfairly. But it feels like the weakest of the five to me. There's more than a touch of Andromeda to it and the ultimate cause of The Burn should have been something more grounded in science than I remember it being, in my opinion. But overall, the story breaks new ground-- good for Trek and takes big swings-- which is also good for Trek, so on balance, I'm okay with it.)

Seasons 4 and 5 were where I think this show started to find its feet a bit. You can have issues with the serialized storytelling of both seasons, but they worked really well for me and ultimately, I think I'm going to come down to the notion that this show deserved at least one, maybe two more seasons.

The finale was good. There was a wedding and nobody died (which might be a first for Star Trek?). It was not revealed to be a holodeck adventure that Commander Riker was enjoying as a spectator. Nothing can probably top 'All Good Things' but I'd slot 'Life Itself' probably just behind 'Endgame' in terms of finales. You got the sense- especially with Zora and Discovery just being sent away for an unspecified mission- that there was more story to be told, but it also felt like an ending. It felt earned. It felt final and I could work with that.

It wasn't all perfect: Owo and Detmer were more or less absent from the back half of season five, which sucked- they do make an appearance in the finale though. And if Discovery wasn't that great at something, it was probably exploring the lives and characters of the rest of the bridge crew more effectively. I think they got better at the deeper into their run that they got, but it was still never what it should have been, in my opinion.

They left some interesting story possibilities on the table as well. I've seen a lot of older, crustier Trek fans complaining about how all the characters do is examine their feelings and their various traumas and yes, there's some of that, but also, look what these characters have been through: if you left your entire family behind and traveled 900 years to the future, you'd probably need some therapy too.

But it's not the Discovery crew that would have made the interesting storyline there-- it's the Starfleet that stayed hidden and stuck together through the years of The Burn. What was that like? Do those Captains resent the sudden intrusion of these randos from the past? (I think Rayner's character was meant to play with this idea a bit in the final season.)

Overall: I was left wanting more and who could ask for anything more than that? (Other than two more seasons and a movie, maybe?) Discovery may have fallen victim to the ongoing churn in the streaming wars, but I do think, on a rewatch, it will hold up better than people think.

But as the first new Trek series in over a decade when it debuted in 2017, it's worthy of appreciation. It took big swings. It wasn't afraid to challenge franchise orthodoxy and most importantly, to me, as a fan, it went boldly where no other Trek show had gone before.

Did I like the serialized storytelling? Not always. Did I like every episode? No. Do I think it could have been more grounded in parts? Yes. Did it miss opportunities and storylines? Yes. But on balance, this is a worthy addition to the franchise and I do think people are going to reassess this show positively when they look back on it. (My general impression is that people either love this or absolutely hate it.) My Grade: *** out of ****

[oliviapopesgf]

To me if you truly care about Olivia and Fitz as a couple you need them to stop with what made you fall in love with them. Every time I get sad I rewatch 106 or 208 and I love those eras but that never could be sustainable. They can't be each other's everything. It's the hook that makes fans fall in love with them and root for their happiness but truly the end goal always was for them to love each other in a way that they don't become suicidal when they're apart.

Like truly the extent of Olivia's depresion in season 2 post-Defiance, the trauma after the kidnapping, Fitz after Defiance too, after Jerry's death, season 5 post that fucking break up that I haven't rewatched ever since the episode first came out bc it was that bad.

They love each other but that love can't stop their individual problems. Fitz actually tried to kill himself (which was never explored properly). Olivia was self-harming throughout the entire damn show. Let's not kid ourselves, from season 3 forward every time she fucked Jake that was an expression of her self-hatred, she hated her father but never could escape him. Always putting up with people who don't love her or respect her (we should always drag Mellie's white ass. she loves to explore black women fuck her). You can say you miss season 1 Liv but let's not act like she was doing well she was 100% lying to herself and Amanda Tanner exposed all of it.

You shouldn't be nostalgic for what never could work. Great scenes but Olivia and Fitz needed to grow before actually being together.

[joanelizebeth]

black widow

I just got done seeing Black Widow and I fucking loved it. It was one of those movies that wasn’t saturated with political propaganda that feminazis inject when we finally get the chance to make a female superhero movie. I’m all for women #woo but a lot of times they try to be all “women are so much better than men and we don’t need them at all because they all suck!” instead of just telling the fucking story, as it is. Like bro I have just as many close genuine good guy friends as I do my sisters and bffs through the years. Shit humanity isn’t gender based, I’ve met lazy bitchy gossipy women and cheating lying douchebag dudes. But whatever, I toss those and I keep the good ones around me. Hell yeah!

 Black Widow made a badass female superhero movie because it focused on the real shit we deal with as girls and women without making that argument the thesis statement of the entire movie. I loved it, ugh! It was just plain fucking real, which is finally what i wanted to see in a movie on that scale. Also, totally accurate (in what they either intentionally or unintentionally achieved) in things that scare me or what would make me kill/fight as a lady. I would never WANT to harm or kill another human, but if it’s to protect my little sister FUCK YEAH I’m going to save her, and take a frickin bullet if I had to for her.  & Also the whole red light glow chemical shit made it relatable to why you’d have to harm other people if they’re just void of the human emotional connection part in their brain, kind of like that Roaches episode of Black Mirror. 

AND YOOOO that guilt concept is a huge emotion that I felt for her character, and is a huge reason why I avoid doing shit that would every make me feel guilty later, because of how much I hate myself for doing immoral shit to undeserving people in the past. It’s why I try to stay in my lane & avoid that shitty guilt feeling that weighs heavy on me. Thankfully I haven’t had to feel major guilt in years. Yay, morals. 

Anyway, just wanted to vent about how much I enjoyed this movie, loved the writing, the filming, the frickin costume white one-pieces in that snow scene are fucking awesome--I totally want to rock that for Halloween. 

Also I really liked that there was a relationship dynamic focus throughout the film-- Amanda with that old dude w/glasses as a dickhole boss trying to break her down, the sister dynamic, the family dynamic between everyone interpersonally within the family, what a family is/means/how it’s defined, and the relationship dynamics between friend groups (aka Avengers) feeling like family when you felt out of place in your own. 

Annnnd just, YEAH! I think this was the first female-focused action movie that did a great job at making a fantastic film without beating a political dead horse that I was so sick of seeing in movies (like the second half of the Harley Quinn movie). Still Love Harley, but I just definitely related to this movie a fuck ton more. 

AVENGERS BETCHES.

Loved this movie, going to rant about how awesome it is for like a month. 

ALSO #GOBUCKS YEET!

Good luck 4 Game 4!

[supercsi4]

Oh how I’ve missed nougat.

02x13 The Last Weekend

Once I paused my overthinking about NCIS next week, well my night didn’t get much better. Why did I call out sick to be disappointed by my shows tonight. There goes all my hope of getting some closure. And Brightwell fans, they pretty much said fuck you, we gave you a kiss last week, that’s all you get.

I will say one of the reasons I loved this show was how it can be so suspenseful and creepy, yet have me laughing throughout the entire episode. The best part by far was Jessica and Vivian fighting, that was fantastic.

I’m angry and sad and hate television tonight... yet I love it. Two of my ships kissed/will kiss this season, come on Sonny and Amanda, let make it three 🤞

[medea10]

Medea’s Anime/Game Superlative of 2019

Well it’s that time of the year where I look back on the animes I’ve watched and the games I played with this outdated meme quiz from 10 years ago. But I still do it for the fun of it! As usual, it doesn’t matter what year the anime or game came out. If I messed with it this year, it counts for the honors. So if it came out two years ago (which feels like forever ago), it counts. Let’s get at it!

First Fandom of 2019: The Promised Neverland

Episode 1! That’s all you need to watch to officially get hooked to this series. I jumped on this title at the beginning of the year not knowing what to expect due to Aniplex and Crunchyroll whoring this particular anime months prior. But once I saw the first episode, I was immediately hooked. It shook me to my core to watch one of the most graphic scenes to come from this year. I was captivated by Emma, Norman, and Ray’s plans in order to escape their doomed fate of becoming food for creepy demons. Each episode, I was at the edge of my seat wondering what was going to happen next. Is Gilda in cahoots with Sister Krone? Will Don learn the truth about what really happened to Connie in episode 1? Can Ray be trusted? IS NORMAN STILL ALIVE?! Come on, I’m like really far ahead in the manga. I want to see Norman and Emma together again. I’m so happy this series is getting a second season in 2020.

Favorite Main Character of 2019: Haru from My Roommate is a Cat

It was a close call this year for main characters and normally I don’t shoot for main characters. This year I will admit that I fell in love with Chika from Kaguya-sama. Plus, I still love me some Lana from Pokemon Sun/Moon! And I finally started part III of Jojo’s, so Grandpa Joestar is just the awesome OH MY GOD that I need. However, they all lose out to a cat! Yeah, just like that one year where I picked Nyanko-sensei as my favorite main character, I’m doing it again.

I know Haru can’t actually talk back to her human, but the audience can hear what she’s really saying and it’s absolutely amusing. She was funny when she thought the word “Haru” meant food. She’s so adorable when she’s playing with whatever catches her eye. She’s got quite the personality (almost tsundere even). But I gotta admire Haru too. Before she was adopted, Haru was on the street trying her best to look out for her younger siblings. Even giving them more food scraps when she would go hungry herself. After Haru was adopted by Subaru, she eventually warmed up to him as “her human”. It was a learning experience for both as Haru didn’t know how to react to having a human care for her and Subaru has never taken care of a cat before. But Haru is a loyal kitty who loves her human. Hell, she ran away from home because she feared her human collapsed somewhere. Haru’s the greatest!

Favorite Villain of 2019:

…

…Dear God, give me the strength to pull through this one.

Princess Malty “Myne, Bitch, Whore” Melromarc (The Rising of the Shield Hero)

No, this is not me insulting her. These are all her official names. Really! In many of the animes I watched this year, the villains were pretty hit-and-miss with me. I’m in the middle of watching the elven uprise with Black Clover and didn’t want to talk about that this year. Fairy Tail’s villains are just okay. And I didn’t watch Frieza this year! So let’s talk about the ONE villain who even out-trump’s the actual villain to the series.

It only took one episode for an entire fandom to turn on one single character. A single lie that figuratively speaking threw our main protagonist Naofumi under the bus, kicked him in the nuts, shanked him, robbed him, and thrown him off a cliff. Myne did so much throughout this series. She lied about being raped. She abused her power to get what she wanted. She set up someone to fail constantly. She attempted murder on her own sister (several times) just to keep her status as first in line to the throne. And she cheats so she gets her way! It was so sickening to watch this vile woman for more than just one episode. When you created a character who was so disgusting and revolting as a secondary villain, you did something right! It’s like with Shou Tucker and Father from Full Metal Alchemist. Ask any anime fan and they’ll definitely remember Tucker over Father. Myne is this anime’s Shou Tucker! And I have to give her some credit, she is now one memorable villain. And aren’t villains usually supposed to be despised? I, Naofumi, most characters in Shield Hero after episode 21, and all of the internet can come together in agreement to say, we hate Malty, Myne, Bitch, Whore.

Final insult on the matter, she’s a cunt!

Favorite Video Game Character(s) of 2019: Piers & Marnie (Pokemon: Sword and Shield)

I knew point blank that Marnie was going to be my favorite rival in this game. I knew I was going to enjoy the antics of her yell squad (a.k.a. Team Yell) too. But I never expected to meet her brother and enjoy him too. Like in more recent games, Pokemon has given your character a total of three rivals to look out for. And while Hop is just the British version of Hau and Bede is just…a fuck-face, Marnie was someone who marched to the beat of her own drum. She recognizes a powerful foe and has a level of respect for her rival. She has her own fanbase, but isn’t totally arrogant about it. Plus, she doesn’t mind helping you out and giving an extra boost in battle. Plus that smile scene is just too adorable for words. And then there’s Piers!

First of all, I just love the design of this guy. What did I say when I first laid eyes on him? It’s like if David Bowie, Marilyn Manson, and Sid Vicious threw up on a pentagram crafted from Hot Topic gear and this dude emerges! And much like his sister, he marches to the beat of his own drum. That’s why he’s the only gym leader in Galar that doesn’t use the Dynamax method. I would have been satisfied if I only got to see him once or twice in the game. But I was blessed when Piers came to my aid to take down the Marco Cosmos thugs AND take on all the rogue Dynamax pokemon in the post-game. I’m impressed! Out of all the people they picked to help the protagonist and Hop in this adventure, it was Piers. I am ever so happy by this. I am so heavily invested in this guy that I’m already thinking of fic ideas involving him.

Favorite Game of 2019: Pokemon Masters

As much as I really do love Pokemon Sword and Shield, I gotta give it to the mobile game this year. This game not only made one of my reoccurring dreams come true, but gave it something no other Pokemon game has been able to do in over twenty years. HUMAN VOICES! The trainers, they speak! AND YOU CAN CHANGE BETWEEN ENGLISH AND JAPANESE! Do you have any idea how much of a win this is for me! I know they’ll never have Tracey Sketchit in the game, but this still rocks my world. Do you know how much I love hearing Mamoru Miyano play a dickish bad guy? Do you know how badly I need to hear Daisuke Ono on a day-to-day basis? I’m a voice queen!

I know I don’t usually like to give praise to freemium games for the mobile phones, but this game is quite nice. I mean, yeah, you really do have to save up your gems in order to (hopefully) get the 5-star trainer that’s currently advertised and the urge of wanting to open up your wallet to actually purchase gems is tantalizing. Not as fucked as Fate/Grand Order, but you get my meaning. Unlike a lot of the freemium games, this one doesn’t limit you so much to play (unless you spend fake or real money in the game). You can super train all you want and not lose stamina! Plus, I like these special sync moves between trainer and pokemon. And there’s just something about seeing all of these different trainers from all these regions together and interacting with each other. Despite never seeing a lot of this in the anime, manga, or previous games.

Favorite Het Couple of 2019: Retsuko x Haida (Aggretsuko)

In one of my baby accomplishments this year, I stopped being a tight-wad and splurged on a Netflix account. Right around the same time it becomes unpopular. Hahaha! Why does this always happen to me?

Throughout the series, we’ve watched Retsuko take chances with a lot of guys including a charming polar bear, a red panda with the brain of a pot plant, and the world’s handsomest donkey. But Retsuko has friend-zoned her workmate Haida the whole time. Meanwhile, I and pretty much like 90% of the fanbase ship the fuck out of this. Rightfully so! Haida has been admiring her from afar for so long. He tries his best to be supportive of her in the office and elsewhere. He was even nice enough to run back to the office to try and help Retsuko with the last-minute paperwork thrown at her on Christmas Eve. Hell, we watched him at his best in the season two finale helping to corner Tadano. And even though she turned him down at the end of season one, I still hold out that there’s hope. I mean, it was right after a break-up, so it was kind of the right call for Retsuko to not go out with Haida. Season three could give us this ship in the end. I know Retsuko doesn’t see Haida as boyfriend material as of now, but I have a feeling it can change.

Favorite Yuri Couple of 2019: Atsuko “Akko” Kagari x Amanda O’Neill (Little Witch Academia)

That’s right, Akko and Amanda. This is the one Yuri ship I’m leaning on more than all the other ones. I know she wasn’t involved in the infamous love-bee episode, but that still didn’t stop me from making dirty jokes whenever these two girls were together for an episode. And that’s what makes it better! Akko and Amanda’s relationship wasn’t tampered with because of a love bee, what they have is real! Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating. But whenever I see them together doing something in an episode, I can totally see them as something more. Then again, my mind is warped.

Besides, this is as close to a yuri couple as I got this year. I can’t mention the one second we got of Ymir x Historia from Attack on Titan. Yayoi and Shion didn’t get much in Psycho Pass 3. And it’s leaps and bounds better than that OTHER anime I watched with two girls. Happy Sugar Life? More like a big pile of nope!

Favorite Yaoi Couple of 2019: Mafuyu Satou x Ritsuka Uenoyama (Given)

You knew it was coming! I was rooting for these two boys since they met in episode one. And even though I had to hold it back a bit when I learned of Mafuyu’s grieving, I still hoped that one day, these two boys would defy the odds and become the sweetest couple of 2019. Was I correct? While it wasn’t as full-blown gay as Yuri on Ice, it still gave us so much.

As I mentioned, Mafuyu was in a relationship prior to meeting Uenoyama. And this one ended in heartbreak as Mafuyu’s lover dies. But meeting Uenoyama, Mafuyu was able to smile again and got to play the instrument his previous lover left behind. Mafuyu was able to shake off the sad shackles of the past and start life anew. Now is this feeling mutual? Of course! Uenoyama dealt with the worry of “will he, won’t he” and by the end of the series, the audience seems pretty satisfied with the outcome and hope for the best of these sweet boys.

Fandom That You Didn’t Expect To Get Into: Domestic Girlfriend

2019 has given me surprise amounts of incest! This year alone I wound up watching several surprise incest anime plots including Kiss x Sis, Marmalade Boy, and Eromanga Sensei. And those of you who are not on the up-take, surprise incest is primarily a love plot involving your step-sibling. But there was just something about Domestic Girlfriend that I just couldn’t shake. I couldn’t believe I binge-watched this entire series. I couldn’t believe I picked up the manga immediately after the finale. I couldn’t believe…that I didn’t despise this anime! Yeah, usually anything with even a whiff of incest, I throw in the trash and put a bullet through its head. This one, I did not.

Simple story! Boy named Natsuo fucks a random girl and also has a crush on his teacher. Natsuo’s father tells him he’s getting remarried. Then, BIG BOMBSHELL, the random girl that got fucked and his teacher are now going to be his step-sisters. Concept alone was just fifty shades of messed up. I mean, who the heck do you root for in this situation? Throughout the 12 episodes I went back and forth either rooting for Rui or Hina. And for episode, I rooted for Miu, the cute literary girl. I was so intrigued that I had to dig through the manga for more answers. But I enjoyed this trashy soap opera! I doubt it’ll get a sequel, but it was…fun for the most part. Too hot for television fun! And if that makes me trash, well call me Forky because...

Yeah, I can admit that freely now.

Fandom That Made An Unexpected Comeback: Fruits Basket

*squeals* I never thought this would come back into my life. One of my all-time favorite animes was returning with a reboot. AND IT WAS GLORIOUS! Oh sure, the first half of this series was literally a shot-for-shot remake of the original Studio Deen anime. But even that was enough to make me love every frame of it. Fruits Basket was just one of those animes that grabs you with the intriguing tale of a cursed family that changes into members of the zodiac. Then they take you on a fun ride with silly moments like Kyo and Yuki fighting each other or Ayame telling his ridiculous stories or Hatsuharu flashing some guy his junk. But then this series takes you on a detour of the most heart-wrenching stories involving heartbreak, bullying, gangs, abandonment, and hiding your true self.

This show re-introduced us to the many colorful and complex characters that exist. From the ultra-flaymboyant Ayame to the complex Ritsu! Many of these characters have severe baggage coming and going and you just wish the best for them. And seeing Tohru reach out to just about everyone in her own way, to tell them she’s there for them and she accepts them all for who they are, it just gets to you. 18 years was too long to keep this gem away from us. Welcome back Fruits Basket, we missed you.

Fandom That Inspired the Most Crack: Zombieland Saga

I know it came out last year, but I got the opportunity to finally watch it this year. And it was every bit of crazy as people told me it would be. Who would have thought mashing zombies and idol shows together would be a good idea?

Seriously! You’ve got Mamoru Miyano voicing the craziest character to date, who’s a necromancer who brings back seven girls from the dead. Puts special makeup on them to fool unsuspecting audience members! All to bring life back to the Saga prefecture. Add another layer to the WTF cake, these dead girls are all from different times including 2008, 1997, the showa period in the 1980’s…you even have one from the freakin’ 19th century! But that’s not all! These girls end up becoming an idol group singing different kinds of genres. One episode they’re head-banging to metal rock and the next IT’S A FRIGGIN’ 8 MILE RAP-BATTLE! And then you have this one girl named Yamada Tae. She doesn’t speak and usually makes weird noises throughout the entire series, but we don’t care! We freakin’ love her! And even with the oddball girl, she’s not the craziest character on here. Who needs a Best Girl category when you know the best girl is just going to be the crazy dude in the shades!

I’m absolutely cereal on this! Kotaro Tatsumi STOLE this show for his own! With his crazy antics, constant shouting random phrases every five seconds, and eccentric behavior, this made for one of the most entertaining animes I’ve ever watched.

Last Fandom of 2019: Pokemon: Sun & Moon/2019

I know I spent the greater part of Sun/Moon bashing several aspects of the series. But Sun/Moon was gradually getting better compared to its slow start. This year we’ve got some extreme character growth from some of Ash’s friends and even pokemon. I was amazed to watch episodes featuring Lana, Mallow, and even Sophocles growing. Lana up against Kyogre, Mallow’s thank you to her deceased mother, and Sophocles mastering Z-moves, all of these were great! Add to that, a Pokemon League that showed all of us up after 20 years of disbelief of Ash ever winning a competition. Where HE WON THE FUCKING COMPETITION! With the exception of one of the matches, this Pokemon League is definitely one for the history books for Ash. From his epic dog fight with Gladion, to the six-on-six with his mentor, to taking down a massive Ultra Beast, to taking on an island deity! All leading up to one of the most beautiful goodbyes and finale! Seriously, I screamed balls when I saw a pregnant Professor Burnet.

And my high continues with the new continuation of Pokemon 2019 (yeah, still the name). First of all, praise Arceus the animation has improved! Secondly, I am fully digging Ash and Gou traveling together. In answer to your question, yes I’m already shipping the hell out of them. Third, having these boys travel all around the pokemon world has given me so much hope in the world. The boys are going to be traveling the pokemon world revisitng old places including Hoenn, Sinnoh, and Kalos. I know I was disappointed in Ash not soley traveling to Galar and having Pikachu wear a Sherlock Holmes hat, but this I can’t cast to the side.

…

And yes, I support Ash x Gou like a beast!

[bartramcat]

CSI, GUNSMOKE, and STAR TREK: Of Reboots, Remakes and Reinventions

So this whole CSI revival thing has me meditating on a whole bunch of unrelated TV shows, and the tendency of networks to try to replicate success.

Back in the dark ages, when I was a kid, networks were filled with Westerns and Sitcoms and Variety Shows. (Thank you Ed Sullivan for introducing me to so many different kinds of music and comedy I never would have sought out for myself.) I'll admit right now that, for the most part, I hate sitcoms. I'm not even a big fan of comedy films with the exception of Howard Hawks' breakneck version of screwball. The only two sitcoms I maintain a high regard for are The Dick Van Dyke Show and Get Smart. It's the writing. (Get Smart was never a true sitcom; it was a weird pastiche of parody and satire.)

So that brings us to westerns, a form I also tend to dislike, with the exception of Gunsmoke. In many ways, it is the quintessential western, by virtue of lasting so long, and, in others, it's not a western at all but a vehicle for morality plays and character studies in a western setting. At its core is a group of diverse misfits who come together to make a family; despite often unsavory or tragic backstories, they were united in their search for truth and justice and their love for one another.

I think one of the reasons Gunsmoke survived so long was twofold: the core characters and its ability to reinvent itself. Early on, the morality plays were more black and white, good versus evil in a very raw, harsh environment. The term that most comes to mind is stark, although the relationships among the principles were already complex. As Dodge grew, the "bad guys" became more complex, blurring the lines between good and evil. While some truly evil folks still turned up, there were more shades of gray, more bad choices, often born of desperation in an unforgiving landscape, than simply being "born bad." In the latter years of the series, while there were still episodes that explored the relationships among the principles, many episodes were character studies of either Dodge residents or transients.

Surprisingly, the black and white hour long episodes between 1961 and 1966 are some of the darkest TV has ever produced. Happy endings were not part of the formula. Some I would characterize as downright nihilistic. Not your stereotypical TV western. Several TV historians attribute this bleak depiction of frontier life as contributing to the declining ratings in the early to mid 1960s; the show would have been cancelled had it not been for Mrs. Paley, whose favorite show it was.

Gene Roddenberry once said that Star Trek was Gunsmoke in space. On a universe level, he was perhaps talking about frontiers: Gunsmoke was set on the American Frontier and Star Trek "the Final Frontier." Within the show itself, however, it too is about a group of diverse misfits who come together to make a family. It is perhaps worth noting that much of Roddenberry's early TV career was spent in westerns.

(As an aside, I was watching The Long Voyage Home a couple of months ago, and I started laughing out loud at an exchange between Spock and McCoy. My brother asked what was that funny. I said that the whole scene was so Doc and Festus. And it was.)

The original Star Trek was a failure as a TV series. It only lasted 3 years with no great ratings. Yeah I was one of those who wrote letters to NBC when they threatened to cancel it after the 2nd season. The characters and the concepts within it, however, had made an indelible mark on the consciousness of a generation.

For the most part, I hate movies based on TV shows, since I regard the TV and movie experiences to be basically incompatible. Both are on film, but that's where the similarity ends. I also loathe reboots. Star Trek is the only franchise that achieved success in both: the film and the reboot, primarily, I think, because the vision remained the same throughout all of its manifestations. The movies based on the OG show are not a redo but a continuation of the story of those characters first introduced in 1966. And I think as a TV series that TNG was actually better.

CSI has always reminded me of a weird combination of Gunsmoke and Star Trek, mainly because of the whole make a family thing. And the common bond among the family members. There are parallels that can be drawn among characters in all of the shows, but they are, for the most part, analogous at best.

As a TV show, I think CSI lost its way after Grissom left. Gunsmoke never lost Matt, and Star Trek never lost Kirk. The two earlier shows held onto their core characters for their entire runs, well almost. When Amanda Blake decided to take a year off from Gunsmoke in the 20th season, the show had a void. While the overall ratings were still good, I suspect the coveted women 18-49 demo took a huge hit.

For the most part, for me, TV shows are just TV shows. There are those I enjoy as in the moment entertainment. Rarely do I think about them after the credits roll. My go to show is Law and Order. It's comfortable. But I never connected to any of the characters in any substantial way. It is a true procedural. Criminal Intent is a whole other ball of wax, but that's due to Vincent D'Onofrio's Bobby Goren, who is easily in my Top Five of TV characters.

I'm not sure why CSI went so wrong after Grissom left. I suspect a large part of it was not only actor turnover but writing turnover. A loss of continuum both in front and in back of the camera. Initially, I think they were beset by panic: in an effort to fill the Grissom void, they decided to make it about Langston and not the team. The more fractured the team, the more fractured the show.

At the risk of offending some folks, I never cared about Langston, Russell, Finn or Morgan. Compared to the original team, they always seemed more caricatures than characters to me. In the later seasons, even Catherine, Nick, Greg and Sara seemed to lose a lot of their dimensions.

I have no idea what the CSI reboot will be trying to be. On the one hand, it could be trying to be TNG, but then what are Gil and Sara doing there? They certainly can't be part of a found family, since their family isn't included. There has to be some kind of viable backstory for them suddenly to give up whatever it is they have been doing to come back to the lab to save the day.

(In some of my potential scenarios, I suppose it possible they are globe-trotting NatGeo explorers engaged in scientific studies of whales and sharks, birds and bees, but they retain the Vegas residence to which they return to write up their treatises, thereby maintaining contact with the goings on at the lab. Yeah that's pretty far-fetched too.)

I suppose my fondest hope is that we will learn that several of the original CSI writers and production staff have signed back on, so that something of the original vision can filter through.

Shows can reinvent themselves. And they can be successful in different manifestations. In order to do so, however, there needs to be consistency in design and execution. There needs to be a coherent vision in terms of what the show is trying to do and to say.

And there really, really needs to be cast chemistry.

Here's hoping.

[msbeccieboo]

Arrow 7x10 brain dump

Wherein I attempt to offload my thoughts on this slightly underwhelming mid-season premiere.  I didn’t hate it…it just didn’t really hold my attention all that well.  One day I hope to be able to write a concise episode summary or review, but, alas, that day is not today lol, so I will put a break in.

The episode was split into 4 clear sections, so I will approach the review accordingly…seriously though, this is such an indication of how bloated this cast has gotten; most of the sections didn’t even intersect.

Olicity 😍😍

I think I saw on Twitter that Olicity made up 7 minutes of screen time…this is not enough time people!!! (I know Stephen was still filming the crossover)

First we have that frakking crime scene scene 😡😡…see all the rage here. Also, CSI lady…at a crime scene we also cover our hair and clothes, fully photograph and catalogue evidence before removal, and maintain a chain of custody when evidence is collected and passed on…so how about we pipe down! 

So Olicity content; we got our first kiss of 2019 YAAAAY!!

Source: oliverxfelicity

After the world’s fastest ever DNA test (sorry I just really hate these types of inaccuracies; I did my degree in forensic science so this is now a curse for watching tv lol), Felicity learns that Emiko is Oliver’s sister!  I loved Felicity telling Oliver to sit down 😂, and also mini shout outs to Roy and Thea! 

We then get to see them going through all of Robert’s nefarious documents (and Oliver’s old drawings…adorbs!!), and we discover that Robert had a whole second family, with a mistress he ‘loved’ (seriously, would this not have overlapped with his ’soulmate’ Isabitch?!  He was such a man-whore!!), that he left living in the Glades.  Really, the Glades?!  1) He was a billionaire...that’s just cheap, and 2) He was going to help level the Glades!!  Moira (and possibly Walter too, but doubt that letter ever reached him…I miss Walter!) also knew about them, and she was the one to cut them off after Robert died, and continue to keep from Oliver and Thea, and was also happy to level the Glades for a time!!  I swear, Robert and Moira Queen are the true Arrow series villains!!

Stephen Amell was so good in these scenes; Oliver was absolutely devastated.  I loved how he explained how hard he worked to redeem the Queen name, but he realises once and for all that they were garbage people.  He was so choked up when he was talking about abandoning the little girl, and they expect us to believe that he and Felicity abandon William and possibly Maya in the future too???  

(The scene was at least brightened up by Felicity’s delightful jumper haha!) 

Lastly we got a Felicity Peptalk™, I love a Felicity peptalk!!  She always just seems to put things into perspective so simply for Oliver.

Source: olicitygifs

Source: lyricalarrow

We got some cute little touches thrown in there too.  Olicity balcony scenes are always gif-worthy!

Source: olicitygifs

But really, how was this episode “Oliver focusing on his marriage”?!  WHERE WAS ALL THE LOVEMAKING GUYS?!?!  We are a fandom deprived!!

Continued under the cut

Emiko/Rene/Curtis

Sigh.  I’m not feeling Sea as Emiko yet, but she does ship Olicity, so there’s that!  Also, Emiko not shaking Curtis’ hand is such a mood 😂😂

We got a hit-you-over-the-head-with-a-sledgehammer-obvious season 1 Oliver vibe with Emiko throughout the episode.  S1 was one of my least favourite seasons, and now they expect us to relive it with a character we haven’t grown to care for (yet) and without Tommy Merlyn?!?!  Hard pass thanks.

I think what annoyed me is that this was supposed to be Emikos’s episode, and instead they heavily used Rene to tell her story.  Who thought that Rene was the guy for this??  Surely the writers know by now that Felicity is the go-to girl or new character introductions (or you know, her actual blood relative Oliver)? Or maybe they want us to not necessarily warm to her straight away, by linking her to Rene (hello…annoying now, evil in the future) and a lack of a mention of her in the flash forwards, the writers might be aiming for a level of distrust??  I think I’m putting too much thought into this haha.  I think I just had higher expectations of her than we got in this episode (that old recalibration tack failed me again lol), but the preview of her and Oliver in next week’s episode looks more promising.  I’m also hoping they address her training, and why she’s taken on the Arrow persona; I really thought we’d get that in this episode.

Rene…ugh. Just because he happens to be the currently least hated member of NTA doesn’t mean they have to build a whole episode around him (again).  I was really irked by him in this episode; I felt he was emotionally manipulative to Emiko, bringing up his dead wife and playing the sympathy card over Oliver going to jail (wtf you put him there), implying that she had to work with him because he’s been helping her, when she didn’t ask for it.  That whole scene made me very uncomfortable.  Then when she begrudgingly took him to her lair he's all, “you did all of this alone?”, girl had a board with 20 pics on and a laptop (Felicity, hook her up)...condescending turd!

Dyla/Lizard

Ugh Lizard Boy…I need to remind myself about this storyline as I have no idea what they want with him.  I want to care about Dyla again….make me care writers!!!  I enjoyed seeing Diaz being a sulky little brat haha…bring on the brain bomb!!  I did really love the Dyla conflict here though, especially Lyla’s immense Amanda Waller burn towards Dig haha, and telling him to respect her authority….yaaaas queen!! 

I continue to be annoyed at the notion that anyone, let alone badass Lyla Michaels is supposed to be afraid of Lizard Boy.  I’m just waiting for him to die (and hopefully take Curtis with him).

Flash-forwards

Donald Trump called, and he wants his wig back Rene!  Seriously, no chance this isn’t a wig in the future judging by Rene’s current hairline…just saying 😬😬 Rene continues to be the worst in the future as mayor of an entirely isolated, heavily controlled, ‘utopian’ society who is planning to level Star City and still harping on about his dead wife…basically he is a low rent Malcolm Merlyn/Damien Dhark in the future.  Also that creepy guy who’s bitch Rene seems to be….suuuuuper creepy and slimy and classic pantomime villain.  Like he could have had Felicity Smoak killed!

I liked that Zoe is playing both sides a little, as Rene’s chief of Staff and a Black Canary…unbeknownst to Rene haha!  I quite like Zoe’s character…but where are Roy/William/Maya?!  They are who I want to see in the future!

The Archer program….gotta be felicity right? But also sounds a bit Pandora/Helix-y to me. It’s clearly in the wrong hands for sure and Dinah just got Rene to hand it over with a simple threat cos Rene is weak 😂😂

They keep insisting on telling us felicity’s a criminal (she’s not), at least they had decency to look sad that she’s dead (she’s not).

Then lastly, the interesting reel-off of Team Arrow’s names, after Dinah shows off her smudgy tattoo 😂, with notable absences of Thea (dead?), Emiko (baddie? Dead?) and Curtis…HE IS SO DEAD IN THE FUTURE AND DON’T TELL ME ANY DIFFERENT PLEASE!! Hopefully Diaz will see him off in the next few episodes.

Well this got long…oops! I feel like I’m just moaning again, which is why I didn’t do a crossover review, as I like to try and be positive, but at the end of the day I’m British and we like a rant haha!  I did really enjoy the Olicity moments we got, I just think they could have saved this episode for a time in the season where Stephen was more available, because this introductory episode for Emiko really needed his presence to make it more meaningful for us as the viewers.

[theinquisitivej]

The New Century Multiverse Reactions – Let Them Go: Episode 13, Light of the Past

You can listen to the full episode here.

Before we start, the opening features a slight musical change to its theme. The added layers make the familiar melody of episodes 7-12 even more ominous. The distant wailing reinforces the tragedy of the story up to this point and makes it seem as if we really are experiencing the downfall of humanity as it gets engulfed by this one dark night.

         The opening also informs us that we’ve entered Part 3, which could be the final part to this story. This part is entitled ‘The Thing Inside’, acting as a suitable counterpart to ‘The Thing Outside’, the title of Part 2. This title might be hinting that Part 3 will be the culmination of Rebecca’s internal fears rising to the surface. She’s the only one left, and it could be that this situation is forcing her to withdraw, look inwards, and confront the painful memories and regrets of her past, whether she wants to or not. Perhaps I’m overthinking it, but then again, I’d say that’s entirely the point to these articles, so why stop now?

         The thing that most struck me while listening to this episode was how much this glimpse into the past felt like a radical tone shift. That’s not a criticism, by the way; the intensity of the last few episodes has been a lot to take in, and experiencing this bittersweet memory turns out to be a pleasant respite from the immense sadness of Rebecca’s current situation. I suppose that’s why the title of this episode refers to the past as offering a ‘light’ in this dark time. The tone shift is facilitated by Alex Shaw changing his hushed, tension building style of narration to a slightly more easy-going, conversational delivery as he details the small innocent moments from this one day. It makes it clear that what we’re about to listen to is from a different time.

         So as the memory plays on, we get to see Rebecca running her shop and meeting the man she mentioned to Dawson and the listener a couple episodes ago. But the man’s voice sounds familiar, and when the scene ends, we realise that it’s Rafe. It turns out that the only man Rebecca says she has ever loved is the man who would go on to be her sister’s husband. That’s… quite a bomb to drop. It makes me want to re-listen to all their past conversations with this new insight in mind, and it made me think about how much more of an impact Rafe’s death probably had on her than I had initially realised. It’s a moment which made me go “Oh. Oh oh oh. The man she loved was Ra… Oh.”, and when a piece of fiction manages to elicit that kind of reaction, you know it’s done a lot of things right to get you as invested as you are.

         And you can see why Rebecca would have been attracted to Rafe after hearing about their first day together. The way Rebecca describes their fluid, easy movement with one another when they first met is an indication of a real connection between the two, and you can understand her interest in how he carries himself so naturally and earnestly when compared against the stiff, regimented front that so many other men put on in their day-to-day interactions. Let Them Go has positioned male characters like Charles Wolverton and Dawson, men who act in the way that society expects them to, as negative examples of masculinity who are frequently suffocating to be around. It only makes sense that Rebecca looks positively on someone honest who doesn’t give out the same sort of bullshit she’s seen from so many of the other men in her life.

         The conversation between Rebecca and her mother, Jane, is very telling of what Rebecca resents about her sister. Of course, Rebecca doesn’t hate Amanda, but it’s quite understandable that their father looking favourably on Amanda while constantly disparaging Rebecca’s efforts to run a business would be infuriating. Rebecca may focus the majority of her resentment towards her father, but I suspect she can’t help but be upset at Amanda for always being “the safest bet”. Between this and Amanda marrying Rafe, I’m beginning to suspect that the story of these two sisters will go to some painful places before it’s all over.

         As an aside, the ticking clock in the background during Rebecca and Jane’s conversation is an effective touch. It adds ambience to the scene, but it also adds to the impression that all of this occurred in the past, as if we’ve travelled back in time and are seeing these events unfold, but are powerless to change what’s already happened. It’s a memory suspended in time forever, and listening to it unfold is like looking at an old black-and-white photograph.

         When Rafe returns, the fun back-and-forth shared between Rebecca and him appears to be a sly reference to School of Movies, a film discussion podcast hosted by Alex and Sharon Shaw, the author/director of New Century and voice actor for Rebecca, respectively. If you’re a frequent listener to School of Movies, you’ll often hear Alex bring up his strict rule against using the term “interesting” in discussion, as he believes it’s a placeholder word that doesn’t explain what the person using it finds “interesting” about the subject they’re discussing. When Rebecca picks up on Rafe describing his job interview as interesting, their exchange made me think of several moments from School of Movies. It’s fun to notice the parallels between the two podcasts and see what parts of themselves the people making this fictional series have put into it.

         After a sweet date where the two share some particularly delicious pork & apple rolls, we see its painful conclusion, in which the possible future these two might have shared together stretches out before us but can never come to pass. The detail of their fingers brushing past each other and some of the other language used in the scene makes it apparent that this was a passing moment, an instance where a possibility presented itself, and then slips away forever. Still, I appreciate that Rebecca shares many of the valid reasons she had for why she didn’t want to marry. Her dreams of making her own business are important to her, and finding a man to marry, even a man she truly cares for, won’t change that. It’s frustrating when a story gives a female character ambitions that mean a lot to them only to brush all of them aside once they land a husband. It suggests that, really, all they needed was a man, and that this passion of theirs was never anything more than a distraction, which is immensely insulting. It’s a story direction which makes me gag, and I appreciate that Let Them Go makes a point of clearly showing that Rebecca isn’t pursuing her ambitions in place of being able to find a man. Running her business is something she needs to do, and she believes that marriage, far from replacing that, would actively get in the way of her being able to do this. Rebecca may regret not taking the imperfect opportunity in favour of the perfect future that may never come, but it was her choice to make, and her decision speaks volumes of her character.

         When the episode ends with Rebecca finding Jane’s body, it’s a sad and fitting end to the episode. There were warning signs throughout the episode that she was feeling unwell, and of course, we know from the present that Jane died some years ago. Her death here marks that something has passed, as if the opportunity for another life has faded away along with Jane.

         The epilogue’s closing line about how the pie shop really did sell the best pork & apple rolls in the world, but no one will ever know is surprisingly haunting and sad. It’s in keeping with the episode’s theme of losing the chance to have something special, and how, sometimes, you won’t ever know what you lost until it’s too late.

[topomerania]

So I just broke up with Gabe and I’ve had a realization that I’ve been in an emotionally abusive shit show for over a year. I need to process everything that’s happened and honestly it’s an interesting story so more down below about a year and a half long relationship with someone who is an archtype of person to avoid from now on.

I really should have seen the thousands of red flags, but I refused to acknowledge them because he would feel bad about them and as a girlfriend I thought it was my duty to comfort him and assure him I don’t care about those things. I was used.

Initially when me and Gabe got together it was bad. My best friend was in a relationship with him first and I figured we could all just be the best friends. However, he shared a lot of common interests with me that no one else did at the time. At my college dorm he was the only one into homestuck and the convention scene and that gives people a lot to talk about. However, I later found out he only went to conventions with his ex girlfriend and therefor was done with going to conventions for himself and he only read up to act 6 in homestuck and vehemently hates spoilers so homestuck talk was kept to a minimum and he never was interested in going to a convention with me because of “memories” and planned one with his friends instead saying I could go, but without him. He didn’t end up going and I was hurt and of course didn’t plan to go see a convention alone.

Back to the first point I was a horrible person for doing what I did to my best friend. Gabe and I talked about pokemon throughout winter break and I was the first person he told when she broke up with him. I was in a relationship at the time. No one believes me, but I did not end the relationship I was in so I could have a shot at him. Seeing a relationship I thought would work out just end made me look at my own relationship and realize I’m not fullfilled and happy in it and I’ve been keeping some stuff that happened to me in the woods under lock and key. So I ended it. When winter break ended I got together with Gabe when we got back to school. He told me he loved me while he was crying. I was so touched and I had liked him for a minute so I skipped to that stage and told him I loved him too while comforting him. I lied to my best friend about liking him at all and she told me that she wanted a chance to be with him again. I lied to her and we started seeing each other behind her back. It was wrong and when the truth came out I lost all my friends. So it was just me and Gabe and everyone else in the dorm was calling me a whore.

We started dating regularly, but he had a habit of just saying really mean things about me out of nowhere. When I would ask him not to or say that something hurt my feelings he fought me and said that that’s just how he talks to his friends. It was me that should man up. However, he was hurt by the smallest things. 90% of what I said was questioned and he would get so quiet so quick. It came to a point where I had to consider if I was abusive while he would constantly bring things up to ridicule me. But I was alone. Eventually he got it in his mind to break up with me and I spent the entire night writing things down to repair our relationship. First thing he did that morning was come over to my room to hug and kiss me before cuddling me and going through the list. I have begun to think he never wanted to break up with me but to just make me know that he could and that I would be alone if he did.

Eventually we started hanging out with my old friends again and I couldn’t express how much I missed them. However, they weren’t talking to Gabe as much as me at first and he hated that. He would constantly bring up the point that they weren’t talking to him whenever I was distracted from him, planned something else, or was generally happy to have people back in my life. So instead I would have to comfort him and spend m energies not repairing relations but getting them to like Gabe. He constantly said he hated the group and wanted nothing to do with them, too. Eventually we had a fight where I told him to get over that attitude and they’re just people who are willing to forgive if an effort is made and I had been making extreme efforts. He almost broke up with me that night too. There was a lot of times we almost broke up.

He had a panic disorder. He told me on the first date he had told his ex he would kill himself if he broke up with her and I told him that if he self harmed or tried to kill himself to keep me in this relationship that we were through. So that’s why he started punching himself really hard during fights to make points instead of cutting himself. He would rip hair out of himself and scratch down his arms and take up my whole bed. He has broken my umbrella, ripped apart my shoes, and broken my sunglasses off of my face during these episodes. All in an effort to not let me leave. Sometimes we’d be nose to nose and I’d be trying to comfort him and he would say something horrible to me and I would tell him that was horrible to say and he would just punch himself super hard out of nowhere. It was like he wanted to punch me, but knew that would actually call of the relationship.

I missed the New Years party at my own house to go back to my room to comfort him for hours. I missed out on so many parties and friend moments because he didn’t want me in them. I couldn’t go out and dance with my friends countless times. And if I did he would make a huge show. I had to ask for permission to do anything besides hang out with him. Even then he wasn’t satisfied. He hated that I wasn’t into video games or computer science as much as him and would treat it as negative qualities I had. I felt stupid because of him constantly. Because he wanted me to.

This final one that involved Cisco getting involved because I was terrified of him after he smashed his phone and kept punching himself and kept grabbing me and ripped off my shoes and was screaming crazily in my fae as he ripped out hair was just the final straw. I thought I would have to drive him home and when he got in my car he tried to get back to my house. When I threw all of his stuff on the driveway he was refusing to let me close the trunk by putting his hand in the way. He would do that whenever I tried to close a door to get away from him, too. He tried to throw himself in front of my car and I was just on tumblr until he moved.

I kissed someone on the fourth of July and it actually felt good. For the first time in a long time there was genuine care in it. Ever since I’ve just come to realize how important my friends are and how they wanted better for me since the beginning. I didn’t even mention when he molested one of them and kissed the other and then blamed it on me saying he wasn't happy in our relationship and I should have stopped him if I had a problem with it. I didn’t even mention how he broke up with me for a week, destroying me, just to wiggle back into my life by saying that he had gone psychotic at home and his mom realized he was cutting himself because he was so low without me. When I said I needed time to think because I had other suiters at that time he said it was either then or never.

It’s hard losing someone you thought was your best friend, but I keep coming back to the point that it should be harder losing someone that genuinely cares about you. Losing Amanda was heartbreaking and I’ll never forgive myself for it even if she did. Losing Gabe is so liberating. Huss taking me to shoot a gun afterwards totally cleared my mind and made me realize this truth. I think in an odd way Gabe did care about me, but it was because of his own selfish reasons. I was supporting him financially through food, weed, the place he stayed; everything.

Only mourn for those that actually cared about you.

[cnroth]

On the Q

It was a revelation to me when I first rewatched Star Trek on Netflix a couple of years ago, that John DeLancie’s Q is considered malevolent or villainous. Given that I was born during the summer between seasons one and two of Star Trek: The Next Generation (TNG), and that the series I remember most clearly from childhood is Voyager (VOY), one can understand my confusion.

In the pilot episode, the Q are introduced as a species of extremely powerful beings who can manipulate space and time to their will. They place themselves as judges over so-called “lesser” species, issuing subjective rulings about whether or not these other species are worthy of expanding, growing, or even existing. Sins committed by members or factions can be held against the whole species, being used as evidence of their immorality. Of course, Captain Picard convinces Q to allow him and his crew to prove themselves as having transcended the sins of their past, and is (more or less) successful.

By the end of TNG, the character of Q has evolved. Because audiences responded more to his snide humor and chaotic-neutral alignment than to the possible metaphors to be found within his character, that heavily influenced what he became—an amusing pest who pops in every so often to teach someone on the Enterprise a lesson about life or exploration or themselves. Yet, as he revealed to Picard in the series finale, he never really stopped being what he always was. The trial was not over, and the fate of humanity had yet to be decided.

Then, came his arc through VOY. As with anything related to VOY, this has been the most heavily criticized portion of his development. His first appearance, in the episode Death Wish, followed quite well with where his character left off at the end of TNG, and remains one of my favorite episodes of any Trek series. After that… well… he goes a bit off the rails.

Now, let’s just step aside for a moment to acknowledge the elephant in the room. A large number of the *cough* cisgendered-heterosexual-male *cough* Trekkers/Trekkies who hate VOY, hate it because both the primary protagonist (Captain Kathryn Janeway) and the primary antagonist (the Borg Queen) are strong, authoritative women. WAIT! Don’t tune me out yet; stay with me.

Yes, I know there are many legitimate criticisms of the series—its writing, its quality, the lizard babies, blah blah blah. Yes, I know. I fully acknowledge those things. I don’t deny them. And no, I am not turning this into a rant about how Janeway-haters are all misogynists. That’s another topic entirely. Simply, I do not want this to become a VOY-bashing session. I adore that show, and if you insult Captain Janeway, I will have to toss you out of an airlock.

That being said, I personally do not like where the writers took Q in the later seasons of VOY. It simply does not fit his character for me, and I think it cheapens what he represented throughout his run on TNG. It sold him out for easy laughs and entertainment instead of building into what I think could have been an incredibly potent allegory for power and privilege—one that was wonderfully fleshed out in Death Wish and then surreptitiously dropped in favor of a much more shallow and subtly sexist plot meant to garner lolz at the expense of strength and complexity in Janeway’s and Chakotay’s characters.

Power and privilege, I think, is where I really hone in on the essence of Q, for better or for worse. In some ways, he knows exactly what he has over everyone else; in other ways, he is blind to it. That is the nature of being a privileged person, is it not? For example, men can be fully aware that there is a social power imbalance that favors them and disadvantages women, yet completely blind to the fact that their reasons for disliking Janeway are characteristics they overlook and even praise in the male captains. That is the nature of privilege. Q knows that he is more capable than humans are, yet he never seems to grasp that his own privilege is exactly what skews his understanding of humanity in unfair and stereotypical ways. It also blinds him to the things they have in common.

But, here is where I want to get meta on my meta: Q is a character representing privilege, who is created and written by people of privilege. He is Bill Gates lecturing about income inequality. He is Iggy Azalea giving an interview on the value of rap. He is a mansplainer, telling women what sexism looks like. Sometimes, he does actually get the idea across. Sometimes, the allegory is good and poignant. Other times, it’s problematic. Always, it ignores the perspective of those for whom the issue is most real.

This character misappropriates the issue of power and privilege. It skews the allegory in favor of the privileged viewer, to the detriment of the oppressed. The fact that he uses epithets against Worf and Chakotay go unnoticed. Remember that time he turned Dr. Crusher into a dog in the middle of her absolutely spot-on criticism of his actions towards Amanda, rolling his eyes at the “shrill” woman? Or the time he tried to coerce Captain Janeway to have sex with him in exchange for getting her crew home? Did you laugh at those interactions and then promptly forget about the implications when the “real” moral of the story came to light? Those things soil otherwise good episodes for me, not because they exist but because they are written simply to make privileged viewers go, “lol, Q’s an asshole.” It isn’t so funny to those of us who actually live with that sort of treatment on a regular basis. If anything, it twists the knife. Meanwhile, white men can pat themselves on the back for watching such an enlightened, progressive tv show.

Still, there are positives to be pulled from this mess. I cannot help but think about the story of two Q who chose to leave the Continuum and move to Earth, and I consider the parallels to be found in how horribly allies are often treated by people of privilege who view them as traitors. I think about how it boggles Q’s mind that Riker did not want to give up his human life in order to be a Q. I think of how petty I can be when I know that I have a larger base of knowledge on something than someone else does, and how quickly I can dismiss their perspective as being beneath me. I think of how utterly unjust and narrow-minded it is for “developed” societies to judge “underdeveloped” cultures when the truth is that they have no such moral right. I think of how, sometimes, having everything handed to you can suffocate that which makes life worth living until you don’t know why you even bother anymore.

I think of these things and I wonder if Q, like the Borg, is simply another antagonist blatantly abusing power and privilege in order to teach people with real world power about themselves.

[poipoi1912]

Carisi-centric thoughts on Eps 18x20, 18x21

I'm glad that's over.

Overall Thoughts

This was an intense but unnecessarily convoluted episode. This case could have been solved in fifteen minutes, not two hours. At least it wasn't another "rich white people he said/she said," and all the characters got their moment to shine, but I can't say I enjoyed it. It wasn't bad, it just kind of dragged. There was no need to stretch this over two episodes. The squad had to track down about twelve different witnesses to the same crime. Eliminate a couple of those witnesses, a few of the racist rants, and a Hallmark moment or three, and you'd have one tight finale.

Benson's Dilemma

I have to start here.

The characters kept saying it, but I don't see what was so different about this particular case (other than the fact it was not about rich white people). Hate crimes happen every day. So do rapes and murders. Why would Barba suddenly decide to urge Liv to lie on the stand? That wasn't just random and out of character, it wasn't supported by the script.

If they needed Barba to do that to create tension between himself and Liv, if they wanted to make Liv look better by comparison, and more ethical than Barba, they needed to set it up better. I mean, it didn't even make sense. When Barba was trying to convince Liv, he effectively said "I'm not saying lie, I'm saying maybe the witness was confused," but what does that have to do with anything? Liv could only testify to what she personally heard. If the witness says, "I told Benson," Liv can't say, "oh, I don't know, maybe she's confused". Liv can only say "yes, she told me," or "no, she didn't tell me." Liv can only tell the truth, and she's certainly not confused, so what was Barba's point?

Also, we're supposed to believe Barba would jeopardize his own career (which is already in the shitter, so maybe I'd buy that, actually), but also Liv's career, and for what? So he wouldn't lose? For justice? If so, why this case, and not last week's case? Why not next week's case? (thank God there's no next week) Why not every case? Is this something he's done before? Is this something he'll do again, if he thinks he can't win? What are his standards for lying? (probably “is it the season finale?” lol) Does he even have any standards? Where's the line? Is Barba okay with perjury now? And from now on? Or was it a one-time thing?

Dodds Thoughts

I wish the writers had chosen Dodds Sr. as the only character to gently goad Liv into lying. That would have been enough. I don't see why Barba had to compromise his own ethics. As a matter of fact, I loved the Dodds Sr./Olivia scene. It's worth noting that Dodds Sr. didn't actually try to sway her directly, not like Barba did. Dodds Sr. just offered her some perspective, and shared his own experiences. I loved that he said he had played it both ways, in the past. That was believable, for a cop in his position. It was subtle, and beautifully played, and well-written.

Bottom line, Dodds Sr. still let Liv make up her own mind. Barba tried to be cute, all "lol she was confused, Liv, can't you say you were confused too? Pretty please?" which kinda rubbed me the wrong way. And Liv clearly felt the same. Compare her reaction to Barba ("are you kidding me, sis?" and then a hilarious rejection) to her reaction to Dodds Sr. (she legitimately asked for his advice, in the end, with that quote about Mike lol whos' mike?, and she genuinely smiled at him).

I don't know. The whole thing reeked of "omg you guys it's the season finale and we need some drama". I'm glad Liv decided not to lie.

But let’s get to Sonny:

Sonny's Temper

Finally, the writers found a way to make Sonny angry in a believable way. In a way that wasn’t out of character. In a way that made sense in context, and didn’t come out of nowhere. Seriously, out of all the instances in which Sonny has lost his temper this season, this is the one and only time I felt for him, and thought he was justified. I mean, was it necessary to have him body slamming people left and right, throughout the episode? No. Was it necessary to have him (and everybody else) yelling in every other scene? No. But was it too much, or too violent? Also no.

This wasn't random anger for no reason, this wasn't just, "OK guys let's all SHOUT all our LINES because it's the season FINALE!!!!" (though that totally happened, too. They even got the usually very whispery Kirk Acevedo to yell, which made me laugh).

Sonny had a real reason to be mad, and that made a difference. Roughing up a perp is one thing, and it still makes me uncomfortable because I'm a SJW oops, sorry, I thought I was an SVU writer for a second, and I started using buzzwords :D

But shoving ICE agents, because they're detaining a key witness, and they're practically sending him to his death? Making Sonny break his promise, in the process? And letting rapists and murderers go free? That’s anger I can get behind.

I also appreciated the way Sonny and Barba argued without either of them losing their temper. They disagreed (and they didn't even really disagree, because Barba was only suggesting to use the threat of deportation as a bluff sort of), but they just expressed their opinions as professionals, and as equals, without any yelling or finger-wagging. And they both (sort of) had a point. That's the type of argument we might have seen in a previous season, and I enjoyed it watching it play out.

Sonny and Empathy

Finally, we got to see Sonny's love for children, shining through. That was always one of Sonny's main characteristics, and we never got to see it this season (aside from Great Expectations, a rare highlight). The way Peter conveyed Sonny's dismay at busting in on a couple of little girls with a gun in his hand? It was only a two-second reaction, but it said it all. Same for the way he tried to be there for Hector's poor daughters, kneeling in front of them at the hospital, trying to keep them away from their rightfully furious mother.

It was also interesting how Sonny was the only character who had strong feelings about threatening a woman using her children as leverage. Amanda and Liv, both mothers, had no such qualms (Rollins threatened multiple people's kids, like five times, and Liv was fine with literally calling ICE). Barba also had no qualms, but then Barba isn't exactly the most emotional person, lol.

I have to say, I didn't enjoy those threats. Every time, I'd side with the mother (even the racist one, who otherwise made me shudder). Leave kids out of this (didn’t Liv and Amanda go through this themselves, in Real Fake News?). And don't use shitty and scary immigration laws to threaten innocent people. It should be said, Soledad's husband was certainly complicit, but Soledad herself was just lying to keep her family together. Yes, murderers would go free as a result, but her motives weren't evil. Did she deserve to be separated from her kids?

And, the real question here, the one Liv and Barba ignored: did Soledad’s kids deserve to be separated from their mother?

That was my main issue (and also the main reason I loved Sonny’s reaction). I did agree with Barba in having little sympathy for Soledad, because ultimately she was lying, but what about her children? Barba had no sympathy for them, either. Sonny did (and Fin and Amanda seemed to agree). Sonny even sweetly said, "it's late, her kids are asleep," which was a wonderful detail. Liv and Barba were like, "Round 'em up! Right now! Traumatize those kids for life! Coercion! Fuck yeah!" but Sonny actually stopped to consider the emotional implications for those kids. That one line, and the way he said it, it moved me. It was perfectly consistent with Sonny's personality. He cares. He sees the big picture, but he also thinks about the little things, and how they affect others. Especially children. 

That’s why that was my favorite Sonny moment in the entire finale. It showcased his empathy, and his idealism, and his conviction in his beliefs. Sonny has always been unafraid to speak his mind, even if his superiors disagree.

Speaking of Sonny's superiors, I wonder if this stunt made Sonny respect Liv and Barba a little less. Because that happened to me. And Fin, who totally called Liv out :D

Morality Thoughts

I may joke about it, but I loved how Sonny and Fin clearly didn't approve of that stunt, of threatening a mother of two small children with deportation, and I appreciated the fact they were "allowed" by the writers to express those opinions to Barba and Liv, respectively. I also liked that Liv didn't answer Fin's question. That's the type of "grey area" writing which was sorely missing this season.

This was the rare instance when the audience wasn't expected to think Liv is 100% right, for a change, and the writers even had a beloved character like Fin call her out. They had an idealistic and sincere character like Carisi call out a more pragmatic and underhanded character like Barba. That was actually good writing (what???). Letting the audience draw its own conclusions. I wish the writers hadn't waited until the finale to start doing that.

Stray Thoughts

This season didn’t give us much on the Barisi front (or on any front), but it did give us this:

YOU’RE GONNA DEPORT ME TO CUBA? AND TAKE HIM TO ITALY? :DDD

Peter Gallagher is so handsome. And so talented. He brings so much to all his scenes. How does he do it? And why can't the rest of the SVU cast do it too, lol? No one came close to his nuanced performance, last night (from the regulars, I mean. The guest cast was mostly fantastic). And his lines weren't even that great. Honestly, how does he do it? I love him.

I also love not Eddie Kirk Acevedo. Were they trying him out as a potential new squad member, pairing him up with Sonny, and having him participate in an interrogation with Amanda, or is that wishful thinking? And does it even matter, now that we'll get a new showrunner? I mean, they probably needed guest stars to fill the airtime, because the finale was 2 hours long and the show only has like 3 characters left :D

Fin still has a detective's badge, right? Did I blink and miss him actually making Sergeant? And did I also miss a reference to his twitter-grandson?

Rollins, after shoving and practically headbutting that woman in front of her small son: "Honey it's okay, your mommy's fine! I'm just about to punch her in the face, but it's all good! Go play with your Xbox!"

I liked Yusef's reactions to Sonny's naive remarks about America. "I get it." "No you don't." Damn straight.

Did Sonny kick down that door literally ON that woman's face? The hell? She was standing right behind the door as he kicked it! Sonny, sweetie, you're no Derek Morgan. Leave the door-kicking to the experts.

Barba keeps getting swerved by Liv, lmao.

I won't get into the politics of it all. I don't have the time or the inclination. I'll just say the script was way too heavy-handed. I mean:

random guy, for no reason whatsoever: "What is happening in this country? This is America, right?"

Sonny (and me): "...yeah okay thank you we'll call you if we need anything else bye"

I am GLAD that's over.

[fountainpenguin]

I like "The Fairly OddParents" and "Danny Phantom" for their potential for angst. In the former, you have Timmy's miserable life, Vicky's potentially traumatic childhood and Timmy's despair at the fact that Cosmo and Wanda must leave him eventually. In the latter, you have Danny risking his life, being horribly injured and fearing what his parents might do to him if they knew what he really was. Just out of interest, where's the potential for angst in "Bunsen is a Beast"?

Oh my gosh, you’ve got my heart racing. Where do I even start?

I guess we start with our title character. We all know how Butch loves the fantastic racism trope (which is one thing I love about his work so much- his use of these things as serious worldbuilding details, and not merely as “one and done” plot points), and it’s a huge part of Fairy and Anti-Fairy culture. 

Fantastic racism is a thing in BIaB too. Here you’ve got this little Beast boy who speaks and reads only limited English. Although he doesn’t have huge talons, he does have horns, a spiny tail, and a lot of scary-looking teeth. As soon as he steps out of his car and starts towards the school, he is hounded by news crews:

He manages to shake them off and head inside, but as she’s introducing him to the class, the teacher says, “I hope this whole co-mingling thing works out, because if not, man and beast will be in a struggle for dominance until one side drives the other into extinction.”

Aw, snap! So you have this show about this twelve-year-old kid with the weight of two species resting on his shoulders. And he knows. That’s what I love here- he knows. Instantly when Miss Flap reminds him of this, Bunsen deflates from his happy mood (Bonus: As you continue through the series, it becomes more obvious that his natural personality is to be reserved rather than social, and that he’s way outside his comfort zone here in trying to make a good first impression and win over new friends).

There’s just so much here that’s interesting! Bunsen is clearly very aware that if he proves Beasts can successfully integrate into human society, it means a better life for his people. But if he screws up badly enough, he might have to watch his family and friends be slaughtered, on top of fearing for his own life. And if he screws up the other way, he might see humans killed as his people revolt and take over.

Now, obviously, with the fate of these races resting on him, so many politics can be dragged into this. It’s my headcanon that after petitioning for years, Beasts were finally given the okay to allow a single Beast to attend a school in a very small human town, as a test. Now, who are they going to pick? Bunsen is very fluffy and cute, so he’s a good candidate to promote the idea that Beasts aren’t dangerous and should be granted rights. Although his English is still stilted and he can read only a very small amount of it at this point, he knows enough to be verbally fluent.

So the question is, how long ago did they decide to send HIM? Has he been groomed for this position his entire life? Just think of all that pressure, those years of studying, that fear of failure drilled into his entire being since he was a kid… And that’s not even bringing up the question of whether this fight to get Beasts a human education has been going on for decades, and if he was specifically bred for his cuteness and gentle disposition. And, what if he didn’t want to be “the chosen one” in the first place? Delicious inner turmoil.

Really, it’s a show about a minority constantly struggling with thoughts of, “Should I leave all my culture behind and embrace a new one?” and “But my culture is a huge part of my identity and I don’t want to lose it.” And he shouldn’t have to lose it. So, he’s working to find a balance that makes him feel good about himself, while dealing with his fears that humans are going to look down on or even hate him for it.

If anyone was wondering, I personally feel that if Bunsen were human, his ethnicity would be one of mixed Asian origins. If I’m remembering correctly, it’s a stereotype that Chinese people are good at ping-pong, and he has a relative (possibly his mom’s brother b/c octopus tentacles) who is a ping-pong master. 

That, and it looks like he has a large extended family staying in Muckledunk with him, suggesting closer ties than I, your average white American girl, see in my own family, even though everyone on my dad’s side of the family lives in this area, and almost everyone on my mom’s side does too. Thus, the fact that he’s eating spaghetti with forks in the theme song is just kind of amusing to me. I wonder what kind of eating utensils exist in Beast society.

So, those are a few culture-related angst topics about Bunsen. Others are certainly the fact that he’s moved to a new place and has regular jitters about that, and that one of his classmates is constantly attempting to gather evidence that he’s a danger to society and should be cast out of the school and the town. Said classmate also has a rich and influential father, and it’s been made clear that some people will be unfair to Bunsen purely not to get on her father’s bad side.

And I forgot to mention all the hints that Bunsen is a pacifist (or at least that he dislikes confrontation), so his default reaction to having mean words thrown at him is to withdraw into himself and believe them.

Whether it’s because of his inborn personality or because of all the pressure resting on him, he never fights back physically, and rarely argues verbally. The closest he gets is the occasional sassy comment. Although he’s more relaxed when alone with Mikey, Bunsen seems to have somewhat low self-esteem.

Perhaps because he’s an introvert, Bunsen is very perceptive. I might argue that he picks up on subtleties better than Mikey does- so if your words or body language suggest that you don’t like him, he will know. Mikey was willing to ignore Jerry’s emotional instability in “Mikey Is a Beast” because he saw Jerry as his hero, but Bunsen picked up on it and was very nervous at the thought of hanging around him. Throughout that episode, Bunsen continues making nervous faces even when the main focus of the scene isn’t on him- such as when Jerry shouted for Mikey to stop crying over Bunsen’s head:

I greatly appreciate whoever includes these things in the storyboards! These characters are just constantly in character even in the background.

Ooh, then there’s the piece of his character that solidifies Bunsen as a lawful neutral- his utter devotion to following rules, even when he doesn’t like them (For example, wanting to touch things in the museum, but restraining himself when he sees ‘Do not touch’ signs). He’s extremely committed to a set of values known as the Beast Code. This code outlines good etiquette such as “Beasts are always polite”, but sometimes it pins Bunsen into corners.

For example, in “Handsome Beast”, Amanda asked Bunsen out to the girls’ choice dance. Even though he dislikes her, it’s apparently “against the Beast Code to decline an invitation”, so Bunsen was thoroughly convinced that he has to not only go to the dance, but “follow the rigid steps of the Beast wooing procedure” too. He feels more stressed out by the thought of disobeying the Code than by the action of taking someone he doesn’t like on a date.

Beasts appear to have super unstable genetics, because when they have allergic reactions, they take on characteristics of the thing that upset their body systems. Here, Bunsen evidently had a reaction to the body spray Mikey was using in the hopes of attracting girls. He’s also confirmed to be allergic to bee stings and Swiss fondue.

Let’s see, what else… Bunsen obviously has a very close and understanding relationship with his parents, considering that even after everything their whole family sacrificed to move to Muckledunk - stability, friendships, money, possibly years of special educational programs depending on how long ago he was selected as the Beasts’ representative - they were completely willing to move back to the underground Beast World after Bunsen confessed to them that he was terrified of thunder, and couldn’t handle the sound of it anymore.

(These nerds even have matching pictures of each other)

There’s a lot of angst potential there, because up and leaving Muckledunk like that could not have been an easy thing for his entire extended family to agree to do. Or an easy decision for Bunsen to even make and consider talking to them about. He’s Beast World’s champion. Their saving grace. As much as he hates thunder, I’m sure he felt absolutely awful to know he was disappointing his entire race. This is the only time thus far, I think, that he truly puts himself before thoughts of duty and honor. These showing and not telling details really drive home how terrified of thunder the poor guy is.

So, Bunsen! I could name a couple of shows about a kid with an animal (or Beast) friend, but of these friends, Bunsen is my favorite. Cartoons like this generally involve one character who doesn’t caremuch about consequences dragging the other into zany schemes. But this is a show about a kid who is honestly curious about the world, and has strong morals that keep him out of trouble. I’m huge on following rules myself, so having a show with characters who are aware that their actions have consequences (Bunsen moreso than Mikey) and who don’t intentionally bend the law means a lot to me.

From a writer’s perspective, Bunsen is a very well-balanced character: he’s very reactive, so he acts as a nice foil to active Mikey. However, he can be plenty active too, such as when he’s introducing Mikey to his home or talking about his culture and biology. And it’s not out of character for him to be this way. It’s all dependent on his comfort level in a particular situation; by default Bunsen is reserved, but he starts opening up and being more active as he gets to know you. He’s very, very balanced and well-written, I think.

Oh. Also, his best friend has a morbid sense of humor, and even cracks jokes about taxidermy when Bunsen sees his uncle on display at a museum.

And BOY HOWDY, we haven’t even gotten to Mikey yet!

I. Love. Mikey. In fact, he’s probably the character I relate to more than anyone in any show I’ve ever watched. I’ve heard that some people don’t like BIaB because Mikey is just “a boring, regular kid”, but I don’t know what show they’re watching, because I could go on and on about how cool this boy is. In fact, calling it now, the Mikey section of this post will likely be unfairly longer than Bunsen’s.

Where to start, where to start… Well, you wanted angst, so let’s start with this. Remember how in “Abra-Catastrophe”, we found out that until he was eight, Timmy’s parents used to obsess over and record every second of his day on video cameras? Mikey’s childhood resembles that a little bit… except it never stopped.

Mikey has helicopter parents in both senses of the word. They obviously love him, but thus far in the show, they have only interacted with him through this drone. I wouldn’t be surprised if never seeing them in person is a running gag in the series, the same way not revealing the names of Timmy’s parents is a gag in FOP. The implication here is that they’re out of town a lot- meaning that he’s been left at home to raise himself-

-surrounded by security cameras and microphones, of course. Major props to whoever designed Mikey’s yard and drew this storyboard, because I love how none of the characters ever call any attention to the cameras or anything. They’re just. There. Watching. Details like this make me happy.

Y’know, when you’ve got a SMALL TOWN CHILD whose parents install SECURITY SYSTEMS, you can’t help but wonder if said child has any problems disabling the security systems on any building in said small town. Problems physically, or morally. I wonder…

I’m really curious to know when his parents got this drone. Mikey hasn’t revealed anything about a babysitter. Did his parents start leaving him at home alone once they got it and could watch out for him? Or did they leave him home alone to fend for himself even before that? 

Mikey’s parents are very nice people - probably better than Timmy’s parents - but they’re not there in the way he needs emotionally. They try to compensate for this by stalking him with the drone whenever they can spare the time. The ability of the drone to find him is interesting too… Perhaps they track him using the location of his phone. Surely they wouldn’t actually GPS chip their child.

Children need safety (physical and emotional) for healthy development. Given the security cameras and the presumed reputation of his parents, we can assume he has the former. But violating his privacy “without probable cause” the way they do can be psychologically damaging and lead to trust issues. Especially because he’s asked his parents to stop, and they haven’t.

Previously, I’ve mentioned my theory that Mikey has an older sister, which would explain why he had the dress, sandals, ribbon, and make-up on hand (and might answer our question about who watched over Mikey pre-drone):

I think she might have disappointed their parents in some way (such as having a baby while an unmarried teen, or stealing money and the family car), and so she took off for the hills. I like this idea because it helps “justify” why Mikey’s parents are so obsessed with monitoring him. They don’t stalk him constantly, but when he gets older, I feel like he’ll have at least one parent on his case at almost all times while the other is installing security systems. One Munroe kid going sour is bad enough for their reputation. Small town. People talk!

Additionally, his voice actor (Ben Giroux) revealed that he used to “terrorize his sister” with the Mikey voice when they were kids. Imagine Mikey doing the same thing to his sister once upon a time, pfft.

This sister theory is just a headcanon, but it’ll be interesting to see what hints about his home life and family are dropped in future episodes. And did I mention that Mikey occasionally visits his uncle in prison, possibly because this is the only family member he has who can’t run away? I love him.

That was Mikey in the past. Now, what about Mikey in the present?

Let me say it again: I. Love. This. Kid.

I’m majoring in psychology, and when I started watching this show, I quickly ended up leaning back in my seat with a knuckle in my mouth, grinning at the ceiling. Mikey is a textbook case for narcissistic personality disorder, with the bonus joke thrown in of, I have no idea if Butch and the writers meant to do this or not (at least, they may not have realized they’ve been checking off all the diagnostic criteria as we go along). Either way, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a narcissistic cartoon character pulled off so subtly and so well- and without the cliché stereotype of being obsessed with his looks to boot!

People with this personality disorder are typically characterized as being “arrogant” (Check), “self-centered” (Check), “manipulative” (Check), “concentrating on grandiose fantasies [such as their own success or brilliance]” (Check), and as having “a need for admiration” (Check), “a lack of empathy for other people” (Check), and they “may be convinced that they deserve special treatment” (CHECK- Did you see “Beast of Friends” and “Astro-Nots”?). Such narcissists might “have difficulty tolerating criticism or defeat and may be left feeling humiliated or empty” when their pride is injured. That sure sounds like Mikey to me!

(Technically, since he’s young, we can’t officially diagnose him until he’s acted this way for a year, but if he continues in this pattern then he should fit the bill!)

What a personality disorder means is, this is his personality. You could maybe tone him down by reinforcing certain behaviors, but there’s nothing you can do to “fix” him permanently. There’s no medicine that will change him. It’s just the way he is, and it’s not really his fault. Mikey just loves being the center of attention. And I’m sure it doesn’t help his ego that he’s lived a life with cameras focused on him, and he’s possibly the second child and baby of his family.

He just constantly refocuses the spotlight on himself, like in this scene here where he expresses no sympathy for Darcy being alone all day (or even acknowledges her statement whatsoever), and changes the subject to him:

“Outside, when you were very close to my face, you said something about… helping me?”

Translation: “I’m only here for my benefit. Are we actually doing this, or are you just wasting my time?”

His narcissism is especially prominent throughout “Beast of Friends”. Not only does he interrupt Bunsen once he hears Bunsen has a friend who’s a wish-granting fairy, but when he meets Timmy Turner, all Mikey wants to do is make wishes. Timmy even asks him nicely to stop, and Mikey agrees by making comments like, “I totally hear you. Just let me make one more wish”. 

Spoiler: He doesn’t stop at one more. And when Timmy is tripping over himself, struggling to cover up hints of magic and fairies from his dad, he begs Mikey to back him up. Mikey cheerfully says, “Timmy’s totally right”, and immediately turns his attention back to Wanda and - you guessed it - makes more wishes. He’s completely blind to the fact that he’s causing Timmy distress. He hardly seems to register Timmy’s presence, because he’s so focused on the fact that Timmy has fairy godparents. Mikey even assumes they’ll grant his wishes, and never asks Timmy for permission first. This also happens to be the only episode thus far where Mikey realizes he got a little carried away, and apologizes for it. It took the threat of Bunsen’s death to get him to this point.

He also just honestly forgets to think about others a lot of the time. I think the best example I could pull up is that scene where Bunsen congratulates Amanda on winning “hide and go freak”, to which Mikey responds-

He forgot Amanda. As soon as he saw Bunsen’s game room, all bets were off. He just naturally assumed that if he wasn’t playing, the game was over. It didn’t even cross his mind to tell Amanda he wanted to play ping-pong instead. And he’s like this throughout the show. All. The. Time.

Of course, apart from his narcissism, Mikey has another fair reason to be distractible: there are heavy hints that he has ADHD, not the least of which is that he seems to be canonically dyslexic:

(“Go”)

(“Doomed”)

(Here he’s struggling to spell “cat”)

Dyslexia isn’t an actual diagnosis in the DSM-5, but he would have a specific learning disorder for writing - aka spelling, grammar, punctuation, and clarity (refer to the script he wrote above) - but he has no impairment in the reading department (fluency, comprehension), which is why he can read perfectly fine.

ADHD and dyslexia typically go hand in hand. On top of that - and this is SUPER fascinating to me - he’s actually animated as having an inability to sit still. He’s constantly out of his seat, or in his seat and changing position.

I actually had a different example in mind but it was too long and wouldn’t loop

When I first heard of this show, I naturally assumed Bunsen was going to be the wild one, and Mikey would be your average, plain kid along for the ride. It just seemed the cliché default. But then comes this huge plot twist in my mind: Bunsen is playful, but a bit reserved, and Mikey is the extremely peppy and hyperactive child. So, I think that’s really cool and lots of fun. Mikey is the first time I’ve ever watched a show and selected a lead to be my favorite character, so obviously something’s going right here!

ADHD also has some angst potential along with it. Aside from the obvious examples of struggling in class, he’s confirmed to be the head of the school welcoming committee. So, when it comes to designing posters, that can’t be the easiest job to do!

Oh, did you think that was all? NOPE! It’s been hinted numerous times that Mikey has an interest in psychology (and I wouldn’t be surprised if he spent hours poring over childcare books when he was younger as he tried to figure out if the way his parents were raising him was right or wrong). 

And, whether he started doing this intentionally or not, he’s turned into a massive guilt-tripper. He cries, people give him what he wants, he stops.

To be fair, Mikey doesn’t seem to realize that what he’s doing is wrong in any way. He’s sensitive in general- that part certainly isn’t faked, nor is he trying to be mean. Simply, this guilt-tripping behavior has been reinforced. 

Repeatedly.

As of “Astro-Nots”, he has yet to come up against anyone in the show who says no to big sad eyes (and he seems to have, perhaps unconsciously, taught this guilt-tripping behavior to Bunsen by this point). Since Mikey hasn’t tried to guilt-trip Amanda onscreen, it’s possible he’s tried in the past, but wasn’t reinforced and so unhappily gave up. He’s just savage to her with his words.

Now, I have that GIF above of Mikey guilt-tripping even Bunsen, his best friend, to do something he really didn’t want to do. I wouldn’t call their relationship abusive at all, especially with Mikey not seeming to realize what he’s doing is wrong. They’re good, close friends and get along awesomely. A time or two of guilt-tripping shouldn’t be reason to end their friendship. Really, what Bunsen did when agreeing to be Jerry’s mascot was a favor. Although being a mascot wasn’t something Bunsen wanted to do, he did want to make Mikey happy, and he did willingly agree to this- as a favor to a friend.

But for angst purposes, he didn’t want to do it. Like I said, I don’t consider their friendship abusive or anything like that, but it might be a tad strained at times. Think of it like, your college roommate might have really irritating quirks, but they’re probably not abusive. Only if Mikey’s manipulating got out of hand to the point where Bunsen was in distress and wanted this to stop - and Mikey refused - would this become a big problem. But, everyone has character flaws and their own struggles in relationships, and for now, this is just one of Mikey’s.

Don’t get me wrong. Mikey’s a really nice person, and he’s proved it multiple times (One of my favorite lines of his is, “Help me help you”). This is the thing: he always wants to get his way. If his way happens to be, “I want to make you happy”, then you’re in luck! But if you’re opposed to his views… he’s not going to make life easy on you. Mikey’s the sort of person who only says sorry out of sympathy- not when you insist he’s made a mistake. Not easily, anyway. He’s a narcissist who reads about psychology- he hates admitting that he’s wrong.

Heh heh. He’ll totally be there if you directlytell him what you need. But he can be a little blind to the feelings of others. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree!

On top of ALL of this, Mikey has to put up with his rival being attracted to him:

She invades his personal space constantly and forces physical contact like this on him, and it obviously makes him super uncomfortable. I can relate. In my ninth grade math class, I had to sit next to a couple of jerks who - not an exaggeration, because they told me this - had grade point averages of 1.9 (out of 4.0). I didn’t show any interest in them, except once when one of them was bugging me about what my name was, I finally reinforced him by revealing it. This did not go well for me. And for whatever reason, the girl who sat in front of me thought I had a crush on this annoying kid. No clue why, because he was awful. So, she told him to come up behind me and rub my back.

Okay. So, no. I was out of my seat so fast, grabbing my thick, heavy school binder and whirling around, ready to smack him upside the head, but the bell rang just then so he got off scot-free. Keep in mind that I’m not even five feet tall as a college student, so I was even smaller back then. But BOY, did that kid have the face of someone who thought he was going to die.

Gosh, why is Mikey so relatable…

Then there’s more angst to be found within Amanda, Beverly- and of COURSE, Commander Cone… I could talk about them for a while still, but this post has gotten pretty long, so I’ll settle for just discussing our leading boys.

Mostly, the angst in BIaB is that sort of subtle emotional angst that’s obvious if you’re an adult paying attention to the show, but that’s easy to miss if you’re younger. It’s similar to “Fairly OddParents” in that respect (which is a show I personally favor to “Danny Phantom”, even though there are several things I could name about DP that appeal to me too).

Huh. Come to think of it, I wonder if that’s why DP has always been so popular- the younger generation caught onto its angst potential because it was more physical and obvious than the emotional angst present in cartoons like FOP. Plus he’s like a superhero and kids like superheroes. I tend to favor subtleties myself… I suppose because it feels more like I’m in on the joke than like I’m being force-fed.

Anyhow, “Bunsen Is a Beast” is not a cartoon that requires angst to move it along. And yet it’s sprinkled in there anyway; it never feels forced to me. Along with its super-expressive characters, that’s one thing that attracts me to the show- Holding my breath in anticipation to see if I can catch the subtleties. 

For example, all throughout “Body and the Beast”, Mikey refuses to say “school picture day” because he’s convinced something bad will happen to him if he does. That’s a hint that he may be superstitious, and adds a fascinating layer to his character since he’s our man of psychology and science. 

Isn’t that neat? Depending on how deep this runs, he might even struggle with thought-action fusion: the belief that thinking something is the same (aka, as “sinful”) as actually doing it- and there is so much angst tied up with that. 

And OH MAN, we didn’t even get to the part about Mikey “mysteriously” going bald two years prior the show’s beginning. Pardon me, but what is a ten-year-old narcissist who isn’t getting the emotional affection he desires from his parents going to do to himself for attention? Thaaaaaaaat’s right.

(Or if you want bonus angst potential… ever heard of trichotillomania?)

The clip where Mikey refuses to mention picture day and goes straight into talking about how he went bald two years ago was only a few seconds long, but it reveals so much! See? There’s so much fun here for someone like me! But like… It’s left up to me to choose if I want to see these characters as the sum of their parts, or if I want to enjoy this show while merely scraping the surface: Bunsen being cheerful and Mikey being his happy friend.

I like having this depth. I like having subtleties. With DP, “Star”, and “Gravity Falls”, every episode tasted very, “Meh, that went the way I expected it to” in my mouth. I guess you could say that that the subtle details I like in BIaB are very “inside joke” in nature. With those other three, everyone who watches the show is going to catch angsty things. It doesn’t take the coolness out of them, but it takes that excitement of discovery away from me a bit, I suppose? 

Could be. I don’t like being spoon-fed emotions. That’s why you don’t normally find me shipping characters (and when I do, I often tend towards background couples). I’m just not a very emotional person. I don’t tear up at anything less sad than Radio’s death in “Brave Little Toaster to the Rescue”, so you can guess how often that happens, because hoooooly wow, that death scene.

See, there are very few things that bug me about “Star vs. The Forces of Evil”, but the fact that I’m expected to feel bad for Star when Marco starts dating the girl of his dreams is one of them. The ending of “Just Friends” bothered me, with the way that Star lashed out and destroyed the stadium billboard like she was five. Ick. I guess the show put a little too much faith in the idea that people watch shows for ships. Yes, lots of people do- but I’m not one of them. I don’t ship two people just because they’re there, so I have a very hard time sympathizing with Star’s refusal to let Marco be happy with Jackie. 

In my mind, she’s an exchange student. They live together. They’re foster siblings. So when you don’t pity her, Star just looks like a selfish brat throughout the end of Season 2. Good glory, I so do not want Starco to be the endgame couple… I know it’s extremely unlikely to happen, but I’d love for her to end up with Oskar. Just. The potential of freaking Oskar being Mewni’s king. I need this so badly. Plus, they just feel so natural. 

Awesome show. But I don’t really go for the idea of, “She had to leave him, and it was so sad because she was in love!!!” What is this, a nuzlocke? I’m much happier fawning over Ludo and his story, like the way he once said, “Are you proud of me?” and then when he was complimented, he hesitated and asked, “Can you say proud?” That tells you everything.

I did really enjoy the twist in “Danny Phantom” that Danny doesn’t need to keep his identity secret from his enemies, but from his family- not to protect his family, but because his family are ghost hunters, and they’re liable to hurt him. But, like… I would have enjoyed some filler episodes, actually. Episodes where Danny didn’t even fight ghosts. Episodes that gave him more character traits. Because who is Danny without his ghost powers? He’s a shy kid who enjoys learning about outer space and wants to get with the cool crowd, but has only two close friends. Mostly, he only does poorly in school because he never has the chance to sleep or study, or when he does have free time, he’s distracted by video games.

I wanted to see that Danny a little more, and not just when Danny gave up his ghost powers in “Phantom Planet”. I wanted THAT Danny to have angst. The problem with Season 3 was, in Season 1, Danny was learning to control his powers for the first time. In Season 3, he’d mastered them. He didn’t struggle anymore. He lacked good weaknesses. His weakness became exhausting himself to the point where he slipped back into human form. Aka, the removal of powers: kryptonite. His angst was about fighting ghosts. It was very plot-based. And that worked really well until suddenly it didn’t. Fans of the show have rounded his character out some more, but canon!Danny was left flailing for weaknesses in Season 3, or so I think.

I didn’t mean to go off about shows that you didn’t even ask about in your question. Sorry! This is the first time I’ve tried putting into words my thoughts about why those shows are neat to watch, yet I don’t consider myself part of their respective fandoms. 

What I enjoy about BIaB is, the fantastic racism element is definitely there, but it’s not the main focus of every single episode (Geez, that would get annoying fast). It’s a show about, well… fitting in. Making new friends. Struggling with a bully who hurts people emotionally instead of physically. Culture shock. It’s about two kids caring for one another, accepting who they are and who the other is, making mistakes, and learning to be better people in the process. Y’know. With plenty of angst sprinkled on top. The type of angst that fleshes characters out and builds up solid worlds. The kind of angst that I enjoy a lot.

So, DP, GF, and “Star” are generally well-done and awesome, but for whatever reason, I just appreciate them in a different way than I do FOP and BIaB. Anyone who’s been around my blog for awhile knows which of the shows I watch I actually produce fanwork for.

I think it’s interesting that people enjoy different things, don’t you?

[idontneedasymbol]

12x19: The Future

The boys were as beautiful as ever, Sam’s season 12 hair might be beating out season 8′s for my favorite. SO gloriously fluffy and full-bodied, my god.

And Amanda Tapping was directing them, aww! And yay for finally having some female directors, took long enough.

As per my SOP, negativity under the cut.

Okay, I have a question. There is a thing among some Wincest/bibro fans, that they want SPN to “go back to the basics,” when Sam & Dean had the majority of the story time. And there are arguments against this wish, that it’s just people hating on the other characters.

But seriously, does anyone actually like these non-Winchester stories? I love Cas, I do. But I find him a hundred times more interesting when he’s interacting with the Winchesters than anyone else.

...Well, okay, I actually really like his story with Claire and wish that hadn’t been dropped. So maybe the problem here is that I find Kelly Kline’s story at once stomach-churningly disturbing and incredibly boring, and I don’t even know how the show’s managing to strike that balance but I wish they weren’t. And Lucifer, who I actually liked way past his welcome (I enjoyed the hell out of Casifer, I thought Misha was tremendously entertaining, at least for the first few eps) I have now reached the point that I am bringing up tumblr to block the video window when he’s on screen.

I was mildly enjoying Dagon because the actress seemed to be having fun with the role, but now that’s over. And Cas is...brainwashed? Or what?

I didn’t buy Cas throughout this episode. Betraying the Winchesters, again...I know part of Cas’s deal is that he’s an angel, he doesn’t process things the same way as humans, he is basically morally disabled. But seriously, that he would go along with Joshua’s plan and not even give the Winchesters a chance, when they still had nearly a month to come up with something -- I don’t buy it. I’m not angry with the character because it just seems so OOC to me.

And I still don’t understand why Cas lied about going to Heaven. More than that -- what the heck was Cas doing up there? He was there for, what, weeks? To have a conversation with Joshua? I really thought he was going to come back reprogrammed, but he didn’t appear to be. So what took so long?

At least what we got of Sam & Dean was pretty good. I mean, they were almost entirely useless, but I’m becoming resigned to that. And Dean chewing out Cas for disappearing on them would have been more effective if their shot against Dagon hadn’t been so bungled, like, guys, you couldn’t come up with SOME kind of plan, holy fire or a Men of Letters spell, anything more involved than point the Colt and shoot?

Also, when Cas comes into Dean’s room, Dean is running some kind of search or something on his laptop. But he says specifically that Sam is looking for Kelly. So what is Dean doing? Has he really gone through all the other porn on the internet and now has to hack databases to get it?

But anyway -- holy moly Dean actually expressed some concern for Sam!!!!!!!! Okay just telling him to get some sleep but I am parched, I will take it. (even if a couple moments later I could hear Sam fans crying out to the wilderness in one outraged voice when Dean described Gadreel so cavalierly, sigh.) And Sam with his absurdly long legs up on the library table, that’s how Dean knew he was tired. Then exhausted Sam echoing everything Dean says. And you can see their carved initials on the table, awwwwwwwwwww.

Dean fixing the truck -- how long has it been since he’s done anything mechanically inclined? Appreciated that. Also that Dean is the one person who actually managed to pull his shot against Dagon rather than firing and missing. (Okay, that’s a pretty sad accomplishment, especially compared to Sam badassedly emptying his clip. But I am grasping at whatever straws I can get that justify Dean even being a hunter anymore.)

(I really, really wish there was some explanation for Dean this season. He’s been off for a lot of it -- even quicker to anger, impatient with research (we haven’t seen him with a book once), dismissive of innocents. And lately, ineffective at hunting. He’s had occasional moments of caring, but Sam’s been there and outshining him for almost all of them. I’m having to squint to see the character I love, and what bugs me is that there hasn’t been any in-canon acknowledgment that anything’s changed. In season 7 (when I originally quit watching the show because I stopped liking Dean) he was difficult to like, but there were a lot of mentions that something was wrong with him. This season there are several issues he could be struggling with (Mary being back, obviously, but also Chuck putting the world on their shoulders, and the BMOL shaking down the MOL, when Dean was always so proud to be a legacy). But it feels more like there’s nothing meant to be wrong, this is just who the current writers feel Dean is.)

(Admittedly Sam hasn’t been faring much better, as the writers seem to have mistaken him for a Vulcan, smart and competent, but not affected by emotions, so that he can be compassionate, and accomplish things, but not really be involved with them. Though he at least still is allowed to care about Dean. And be an effective hunter occasionally.)

But to end on a better note -- “Team Free Will” is back in parlance, aww. And Cas apparently has his own room (15) in the bunker! Am still disappointed that, despite that nominal emphasis, Sam has yet to have a single scene alone with Cas this season. (though this ep was very Sam-light anyways, probably due to Jared’s daughter’s birth.) But the show continues its trend of offering Destiel with one hand (Dean gave him a mixtape -- of Zeppelin! -- really now, talk about tossing a giant cassette-shaped bone to the shippers, even before he shoves Cas against a wall) and on the other slipping over the Sastiel under the table (Sam could read Cas better than Dean, to bug his phone.)

[geekade]

Some Thoughts About Suicide Squad

Hi Geekade readers! I’m not taking to coding as quickly as I’d hoped, and find myself making the hard decision between using my Pi to learn and code or to install Retropie and play games, so I thought I’d take a brief departure from my normal tech talk to discuss another passion of mine: Harley Quinn.

She’s possibly one of the best, most tragic female characters in literature. There’s no one on earth in a better position to be fully lucid while they go insane than she is, nobody who consistently and knowingly chooses her own imprisonment and torture more frequently. It’s like if Jack Sparrow had a law enforcement degree and still made all the same decisions while pirate hunters repeatedly and desperately offered him help and companionship. I could go on, but I have an actual point, so I’ll spare you. As you can imagine, I was both fearful and thrilled as I awaited the Suicide Squad release, rightly imagining Margot Robbie to be absolutely perfect for the part, and wholly unconcerned with the building, meme-fied humiliation of Jared Leto’s Joker. (The Joker, arguably, is inessential to Harley’s transformation‑PLEASE ask me about this, I’d love to tell you.)

Suicide Squad was fine. It was nowhere near the let-down of Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland (which I’d awaited for 4 years by the time it was regrettably released in theaters instead of burned in the dead of night in ditches somewhere), but nowhere close to as satisfying and funny-while-successfully-introducing-otherwise-unknown-characters-to-mainstream-audiences as Guardians of the Galaxy had been. However, if you’d like to watch Suicide Squad, but also would kind of like to watch a good movie, I’ve got news for you.

Suicide Squad is essentially a DCCU remake of the DCU movie Assault on Arkham, which was released a few years beforehand. It’s, honest to goodness, basically the same movie but instead of being potentially a waste of $9-14 dollars, it’s GREAT and a totally appropriate use of maybe $4 to rent on Amazon Prime. (I know, no smarthome stuff and I still manage to be a shill for Amazon. They’re not even paying me.)

Assault on Arkham is a part of a set of movies and shows that I don’t feel could possibly get enough attention - the Batman Animated Universe, encompassing everything from Batman: The Animated Series (arguably the definitive Batman) to the more recent The Killing Joke, and the upcoming Batman and Harley Quinn (which, AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH). In Assault on Arkham, Mark Hamill returns as the voice of the Joker facing Kevin Conroy as Batman, and Hynden Walch as Harley (Princess Bubblegum/Starfire/Penny from Chalkzone.)

I highly suggest that you go watch Assault on Arkham, but just a warning, there are spoilers ahead.

Assault on Arkham takes place at a time after the Suicide Squad had already been formed, so it saves us the trouble of a full origin tale, but it also begins with a bit of a changeup in the team - both from the Suicide Squad movie gang, and from the formation of the squad in the animated universe. We’re treated to the more characterized and strangely sympathetic King Shark in place of Killer Croc, who in the Suicide Squad movie is bold and violent, but not much else. We’re also introduced to Killer Frost, who is an icy villainess a-la Livewire from B:TAS. She’s sassy and has what appear to be magical ice powers; like Elsa, but mean. Black Spider, a bloodthirsty, crime-hating vigilante also joins the team, apparently only grudgingly in the company of everyone else. We keep Captain Boomerang, Deadshot, and Harley Quinn herself, but the dynamics of the team are the same. One hulk, one killer-killer, one elemental, one nutty Australian robber, one entrepreneurial dad, and one crazy former therapist.

Oh - and one sacrificial lamb. Both movies kick off with a “proof of concept”‑someone nobody particularly cares about to prove that Waller will actually blow their heads off. In Assault on Arkham, it’s a raging Red bull called “The KGBeast” who nobody would ever mourn, and in Suicide Squad, it’s “Slipknot,” the man who can climb anything.  This proves for us how cruel Waller really is‑and in both movies, Waller gets called out as the devil. This is a reference to the comics, as well as simply a fact. Waller is probably actually Satan.

See‑in each movie‑not only is Task Force X Waller’s vanity project (which is entirely unnecessary and completely inhumane, not to mention a complete violation of the constitutional rights of the prisoners involved), but the main conflict faced by our hostage heroes is a mishap of Waller’s own making. In Assault on Arkham, Waller had slipped a Suicide Seed into the Riddler’s neck to test her prototype, and he figured out how to disarm it, so, she created a fistfull more, stuffed them into some other criminals, and sent them to murder the Riddler. And also, the Joker has supposedly hidden a dirty bomb somewhere in Gotham and Batman is tearing the city apart to find it. (SEE DC? You still could have shoehorned Batman into this movie too.)

But all the plot-relevant stuff aside, the meat of Assault on Arkham is Harley and the Joker. They start the movie out broken up, which, if you follow their relationship as obsessively as I do, you’ll know is not actually an uncommon thing for them. Harley and Mister J are currently canonically canned. She’s even been out with Bruce Wayne on a legitimate and mutually enjoyable date. Heck, she only lives about 40 minutes from me, in Coney Island in a shabby apartment with her pets and pals and her primary non-monogamous partner, Pamela Isley (Ivy). But in Assault on Arkham, Ivy is is still incarcerated, and H&J are on the rocks.

It’s heavily implied, in Assault on Arkham, that Joker had thrown Harley out of a moving car and left her for dead, which might sound familiar because it’s almost exactly what they did in Suicide Squad‑but that’s hardly the only thing he’s done to her, and it’s hard to tell if Dr. Quinzel’s rage in the confrontation in Arkham comes from that particular assault or from his complete and utter destruction of her legitimate career, social abilities, criminal record, and sanity. Let’s say both. Harley starts Assault on Arkham out confidently and unconvincingly unattached and reinforces her apparent split by banging Deadshot.

Ok this part, I see why they didn’t snag for Suicide Squad. Will Smith is 48, and Margot Robbie is 26, and while she’s “Daddy’s Little Monster,” I personally don’t want to see her have a fling with someone who was already on Season 3 of Fresh Prince the year she was born. (Yes, Jared Leto is 45 and no, I don’t want to see her with him either.)

When, in Assault on Arkham, Harley (spoiler) breaks into Arkham with Deadshot, she (spoiler) runs into the Joker in his bulletproof cell and (spoiler): it doesn’t go well. He taunts her as only Mark Hamill’s Joker can, in the seductive and deranged varying pitch of a madman, and she is...triggered. (I got puns.)

She manages to keep it together while firing to help Deadshot with the task they’re there for; planting a small hacking device‑Batman-y technology that allows everyone else to sneak in past security, and here is where I pause to rant about Harley Quinn some more.

She knows that his cell is bulletproof and fires at it anyway. This convinces all of the onlooking guards that she’s currently deranged, and convinces Deadshot that she’s (oh, spoiler) not thrilled with the Joker. Her rampage allows Deadshot to complete their first mission, but it also helps the Joker to escape.

It takes Joker what seems like an hour to realize what she’s done for him, what she later confirms she did on purpose for him. This is one of my favorite pieces of evidence that Harley Quinn is the real criminal mastermind behind Joker’s modern accomplishments. For the other, watch “Mad Love,” Season 4 Episode 21 of Batman: The Animated Series, which Suicide Squad also clipped a bit, free on Amazon Prime. Harley has full knowledge of the entire schematics of Arkham Asylum, because, you know, she worked there, and throughout the movie uses passcodes and shortcuts that move the whole team forward, and she chooses to let her puddin loose in the halls, so she can catch up later. Yes, spoiler, she was faking the whole time, and is more than happy to be daddy’s little monster again. She’s even been hiding the dirty bomb.

Ask me what she gets for it.

So, you might at this point be thinking: Gabbie, you’re bizarrely passionate about this clearly unhealthy couple, but also, this movie sounds nothing like Suicide Squad.

Well, you’re wrong. About the second part, at least. Let me take you through it.

Amanda Waller wakes up one morning and decides to randomly create a huge problem‑murdering the Riddler (or releasing the Enchantress, in Suicide Squad). Granted, nerdy Nigma isn’t nearly as frightening as Cara Delevigne slowly building one of the mechanical space worms from Avengers in downtown Chicago, but both are problematic, and both are entirely Waller’s fault.

She pulls together her team of criminals, puts them through a suit-up montage, kills one of them, then drops their helicopter literally out of the sky into a situation that she does not explain to them fully. The Joker and Harley have some sort of private understanding between one another, as could probably have been expected. In both movies, Harley has a camaraderie with Deadshot. Harley also notably does a Matrix” lean in both movies for no discernable reason.

Inevitably, our villain-heroes are actually the patsies. Also inevitably, both the elemental and the tank are killed in explosions of the neck-bomb or fiery variety. And in both movies, the Joker appears to die in a helicopter crash, though in Suicide Squad, we actually get to see the happy couple reunited, whereas in Assault on Arkham, we’re merely told the body wasn’t found, which, for the Joker, is as good as proof that he’s alive.

To be totally honest with you, my main conclusion is that I’d have killed to see Margot Robbie’s Harley Quinn in this Suicide Squad movie instead of the one that we got. She was the one part of Suicide Squad that makes watching it worth it, and while Princess Bubblegum did an amazing job in Assault on Arkham, I’d really like to see a live-action portrayal of Harley having her own hidden agenda, but giving us a full range of emotions and a tiny taste of her‑hate?‑for the Joker.

The Suicide Squad Harleen transformation was painfully unfulfilling, but the canonical story of their mad love is actually very interesting. While Suicide Squad paints Quinn as the Joker’s dupe‑tortured to madness and turned to a crime queen‑the older story is a little more compelling. Over multiple sessions, Harleen realizes that the Joker is able to make her laugh again after years of unwavering, humorless professionalism and ambition. Their sessions become discussions, and she falls in love. This not only makes the Joker seem more dangerous, capable of corrupting a psychiatrist with only his words like a genial, gentlemanly, green-haired Charles Manson, but tells us a lot about the good doctor. And it really makes Harley’s blow-up in Assault on Arkham an incredible moment, especially considering that it’s a dupe. How self-aware is Harley? How actively, and independently, is she choosing the Joker again and again? I for one would have enjoyed seeing that explored in Suicide Squad, just a bit more than I enjoyed the pin-up show we got instead.

I hope I’ve convinced you to check out Assault on Arkham. It’s really an amazing movie. And I hope I get a little bit better at Python, so that next month I can get back to writing about technology instead of rambling justifications of clown-on-criminal romance.