#I hate virtual lectures so much

[nondivisable]

so tired of looking for advice for my (suspected) dysability and all I can find are posts of "how I went from bed bound to walking 5 k every day with lupus" and "I never let my lupus stop me because I do yoga every day"

miss girl I am glad that you found a way to improve and maintain your QoL, some of us have had suvh severe damage to our body that theres no turning back now

and ike yes, if I dont do my yoga everyday my joints hurt more often, but I've been doing it for over a year and I still can't walk unaided

there's no shame in "not getting better", sometimes you just need symptom management

[kuiinncedes]

;-;

[drdemonprince]

Hey Doctor Price!

Do you have any tips for how to stay sane while autistic with no privacy? I live in a one room college dorm with a freind and there's literally nowhere anywhere on my campus where I can have even 15 minutes alone without being on edge that someone will come in any second. I'm going nuts and struggling to cope :[

I was in a four person dorm room on a 50,000 student campus and suffered from overwhelm virtually all the time, and I had to compensate by learning to really scope out the places where privacy could be found, so I believe I have some relevant tips for you!

Locate the study rooms or study carrels that can be signed out for individual use, typically in the library. Keep a close eye on them and book them as often and as early as you can, as they tend to be booked up during finals quite quickly.

Scope out the computer labs and study areas in department-specific buildings and get a sense of their busy and fallow periods, especially ones that remain unlocked during the weekends. I worked in the Psychology Department computer lab as a work study student, and they were completely empty on the weekends. The Sociology Department's computer labs were also totally empty most nights and weekends too.

For that matter, find on-campus jobs that can get you some privacy, often lab monitoring or administrative jobs in smaller offices. One summer I worked at the front desk of the student newspaper, which was tucked away on the eighth floor of a massive building, and it got basically no business because it was the summer. I also worked as a Psych Department admin and hid myself away in the copy room and supply closet as often as possible. If a job gives you key card access to break rooms or bathrooms you might not otherwise be able to use, so much the better.

Find the bathrooms that are tucked far away from any heavy activity. Check out the basements, top floors, and down around the corners of long hallways, and near meeting halls that have to be reserved for special events. The Chemistry building had a weird, shitty women's restroom that had been converted from a supply closet across a long walkway connecting two buildings, and everybody hated it. That meant it was nearly always empty. In my old office in the Psych building at Loyola, there was a bathroom off the main hall that was busy, but then another that was up a half flight of stairs near a room that was only ever used for guest speakers. NOBODY used that bathroom. I spent hours in there curled up in the dark vaping.

Learn the rhythms of a building or area of campus so you can take advantage of slow periods. If a building only has one dedicated purpose, such as a massive lecture hall, try checking it out when you know there aren't any class sessions happening. If a building is only used for recitations but those are only on tuesdays and thursdays, check it out on a wednesday. I went to a big football school, so on weekends half the campus was absoultely crawling with sports fans, but the gyms were completely dead during that period.

Stairwells. Sit at the tops of stairwells. If a building has multiple sets of stairs, find one that's far off in a corner and then hike your ass all the way to the top floor. The southwest stairwell of Loyola's Information Commons is a place I've written whole essays in, and even attended Zoom meetings from, it's so quiet.

Learn you roomate's schedule. If you're on good terms, ask them to put their schedule up on a whiteboard where you can see it, and share your own. Both of you will want time alone sometimes, and coordinating can really help. If your'e on good terms you can text as well. If your roommate ever requests alone time to study or to fuck, you get to, too.

Find the totally useless neglected spaces by exploring a little. Some dorm buildings have a shared kitchen in the basement or an activity room with air hockey tables that nobody uses. Laundry rooms are good during off times. Because most campuses are in a perpetual state of construction, there's usually old union buildings or emptied-out department buildings that haven't officially closed down yet but have next to nothing going on in them. There's lots of small waiting areas by professor's offices in nearly every building. Try every door. Duck into available classrooms. You will get interrupted sometimes but the more you learn the countors of the place and its patterns the more mastery you will have, and the less stress you will feel about the possibility of being interrupted.

I know that you said there is nowhere for you to find privacy, Anon, but I promise you that is not true! I have been on 50,000 person campuses, 12,000 person campuses, and for a few years I worked on a 2,000 person campus. I was ALWAYS able to find tucked-away bathrooms, empty classrooms, tops of stairwells, and weird neglected study areas to find some peace in. You can too. Please explore and help yourself feel more in control of this stressful situation! Good luck and let me know how it goes.

[matan4il]

The way you explained things on your recent post made me so upset. Of course terrorists get paid more than Holocaust educators...it's clearly the case that hate is more popular than unlearning it...but how devastating to see it put so plainly. I'm also wondering whether you're able to offer your tours, lectures or workshops online or if it's only in person. I really value the kind of work you do and I know I am not alone.

Nonnie, thank you so much for the kind words! I really appreciate knowing that someone has read and really reflected on what I shared.

It's also lovely to hear that our work at the museum is appreciated. Originally, it was all done only in person, but since Covid, I have had the chance to give lectures online, through Zoom. It's a pretty amazing tool. I don't think anyone's done workshops online thourgh Zoom, but as an idea, it can be done, so long as it's adjusted to the medium. The trickiest one is doing tours, but Yad Vashem has actually developed an online, virtual tour that you can take with one of the guides, with the 'Google Earth street view' technology allowing us to "walk" through the museum together.

The big issue is that YV doesn't market these for the most part, it's something that's mostly offered to groups who were supposed to come visit us, but had to cancel their trip to Israel. But such groups tend to postpone rather than cancel, so they're usually not interested in taking a virtual replacement, if they're gonna visit in person later anyway. So... it's possible, it doesn't happen a lot. I can as an idea market my own services, but I'm really terrible at marketing. XD

In any case, I just wanted you to know the option exists, if you're ever interested in anything like this, and that I'm really grateful for the kindness. It makes my heart grow... Sending lots of love your way, and hope you're doing well! xoxox

[blade-that-was-broken]

I’m still stuck on your idea that John Dory is like influential enough to the pop genre of music composition and song writing that his work is analyzed in college level music composition and music theory classes. Cause it’s like one thing if every song he ever wrote is in the top of the charts but it’s another thing to get featured as a person of interest in a music composition class and it feeds so well into my theory that JD spent the 20 years he was traveling on Rhonda and not really working living off of royalties cause he could have been writing textbooks on song writing and shit. He could have been like contacted by colleges and asked to give Ted talks and guest lectures on how to blend multiple voices into a near perfect harmony.

John Dory is like the Lady Gaga of the troll world not in the sense like their music is remotely similar but because they both view music as art and are perfectionists with it. Because they hold their work to the highest standard and make sure it’s the highest possible quality. Which I think is like partially the root behind why JD went so perfectionist with the band in particular. Regardless of why it started and why it ended JD cared deeply that every aspect of their performances were revolutionary, were perfect. People compare jds perfectionism and demands of his brothers to velvets demands of vener and desire for fame. But they really could not be more different in reality because as their songs reveal JD cares about perfection he will not cut corners with his work with his performances. He wants his art to be 100% flawless and be a revolutionary work of art because he is an Artist and performance is his canvas. I don’t think that JD cares about being famous or making money beyond enough to support his family and invest in his art. Velvet is fundamentally different. She doesn’t care about the quality of her and veneirs work, doing any of it herself or her fans at all she just wants to be rich and famous.

Kinda getting off topic here but anyway I think JD would be delighted that people are analyzing his art and being inspired by it because he put hella work into it. Brozone was his passion project that combined his two favorite things his family and his art and he definitely loves his family more than his art and he doesn’t really care too much about hitting the perfect family harmony anymore beyond saving Floyd but I still really do think he is proud of the work he put into brozone despite hating the way it ended and would be so flattered that other are dissecting the meaning and depth behind his word choices and music composition. And I also think if the troll world had like Broadway JD would love musical theatre so much. Anyway this is my official take on why I see jd as a music/art/theater snob.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk

One: I love when people do the whole "thank for coming to my ted talk" it makes me laugh and I love to laugh.

Two: I think it would be so FUNNYYYYY. Even more so if John had absolutely ZERO clue about what was happening. There is SO much he could have done but like, naw, he's just gonna become a perpetual camper/survivalist and have virtually nothing to his name that HE knows of. Like, one of those famous rich hermits except he doesn't know he's famous or rich. I'm sorry, just way too funny.

I love the idea that JD puts so much thought and care and study/hardwork - along with his natural talent - into his music. Like, sure, it probably helps that he's naturally good at it but I think he really tries to do the best he can. And I think Brozone would be very limiting in certain areas. Like, yes, there is his whole blending of individual parts as a whole, harmonies, and group work. But Brozone is probably meant more for entertainment than much else. It's a performance. When he leaves and if he keeps writing, I think he'd expand in the things he does. Or whatever. I've got too many thoughts and feelings haha lol

OOOOHHHH I kinda like that thought. I don't know much about Lady Gaga or really listened to her music but I understand the perfectionism thing. I always used to say practice makes perfect (and more recently, practice makes progress) so I think I can understand the concept alright. I think it's so interesting people compare him to Velvet sometimes when honestly, they seem like polar opposites. Velvet doesn't want to work at all, she doesn't care for her craft, she doesn't want to practice, she has no talent or even tries to work up to having talent. JD on the other hand, worked too much, put everything into his craft and probably practiced too much. He's got the talent, sure, but he also WORKED for it too.

I think a part of him would be delighted because - HOW COOL - and a part of him would be like but... why??? I know people tend to see him as egotistical or whatever but I think he really loved what he did and he put a lot into it. Idk how much his family really cares about their music, especially anymore, but I think JD would still be proud of it and guess what? He should. It was popular and people liked it. He should be proud of what they accomplished, even if nearing the end things got out of control. it couldn't have always been that way.

Agreed. JD loves his family more than anything. I have a feeling he wouldn't have let 20 years pass if he knew they were alive. It's one of the lines in the movies (I found out you were still alive) that really hits me home for that. He was also the only one who came back soooo there is that too. And yeah! He literally straight up FORGOT about the Family Harmony until Floyd told him that was what was needed. And even after twenty years, he still whole heartedly believes in his brothers that they can do it (if we just practice a little) like that sweetie. Running on worry, adrenaline and lack of sleep, that dude just wants to save his brother.

AWWWW JD loving theatre would be so CUTE! Except I would love to see him both go to Broadway things and Children's plays. Like that would be funny! Here is this dude who goes to these serious broadway type shows but then he turns around and the next night he goes to some local kids Seussical or something.

I just love this so much haha

Okay also another thing...

Okay, I do think it would be funny if for those twenty years, what JD did for "work" was just sell the rights to songs he wrote on the road to other artists/trolls he came across. Like, as he is traveling and is writing different types of music, musicians be like dude this song is amazing and just my style and JD be like... I'll sell it/trade it for (insert whatever here). Like how funny? And then the radio is just flooded with songs that JD wrote, many of which people have NO idea he wrote.

Like could you imagine a song comes on the radio and Floyd being all like "I love this song!!"

And JD like oh yeah, I traded that song for a machete and two chickens. Awesome deal, I love my machete. Comes in handy.

Like could you imagine? I don't know why but I find the concept SO FUNNY

[silverstarfics]

Today’s prompt was ‘I’m proud of you’ and I could have written pure fluff. I had planned to write pure fluff. But somehow this happened? 

(Warning: a character gets outed against their will so skip this one if you think that’s something which might upset you. Here, have a virtual hug instead <3)

AO3 link

@thunder-pride

All of them have had their fair share of unwanted paparazzi coverage - certain people significantly more so than others – to the point where Gordon joked that it was an official Tracy coming-of-age tradition, earning a horrified look from Alan and a stern lecture from Scott. So, really, this sort of thing shouldn’t have been a surprise. And yet.

It wasn’t even as if Gordon was secretive about his sexuality. It was common knowledge amongst friends and family; he’d just never outright stated it in an interview for public dissection. He flirted with anyone who took his fancy and painted a little flag on his baldric during pride month. So, really, from his perspective, getting outed by the press wasn’t a big deal, because how could he have been outed if he had never been in the closet to begin with?

He was mostly upset on behalf of his poor date who had suddenly faced reporters at his front door and had been forced to disconnect his phone when it rang off the hook for several hours straight. Or, you know, not-so-straight, which was kind of the issue in the first place. Gordon didn’t give a shit what the press thought – or what anyone thought of him save for his family – but he drew the line at them harassing someone he’d come to care for. It wasn’t as if it was even a serious relationship – mostly just casual hook-ups which had led to getting dinner together when Gordon next had some downtime – so the poor guy had definitely not signed up for this.

“It’s none of their goddamn business,” Scott declared, a livewire of pure fury. He was angrier than Gordon himself, ranting about privacy and boundaries and the audacity. Several emails had been sent to a very expensive firm of lawyers and if the reporter who had initially broken the story valued her life, then she should probably start running for the hills and become a recluse for the rest of her life.

“I know,” Gordon repeated for what seemed like the hundredth time.

They were in one of the spare offices up in the Roundhouse and he was lounged upside down on a blue couch. The blood rushing to his head did nothing to cure the faintly queasy sense of discomfort which had accompanied the cold pit in his stomach.

It was like he’d said already – if he’d ever been a closet to begin with then it had been made of frickin’ glass, so he hadn’t technically been outed… So why did he feel so weird about the entire thing? It was sort of violating to have everyone discussing his personal life. The tabloids had been pawing through his entire dating history for the past two days. He sort of wanted to be sick.

“I just…” For the first time, he let a hint of unease creep into his voice. He closed his eyes, sensing Scott’s footsteps come to a halt. “I hate the way they’re talking about this like it’s a dirty secret. It’s who I am. I went on a date with a guy. Big deal. Why are they talking about it as if they caught me drug dealing? And it’s- God, I don’t even know. I don’t care who knows, but I care that they’re spinning the story into this whole reveal. It’s supposed to be my choice, you know? I’m meant to be the one who says, hey, by the way, this is me.”

“It’s not everybody knowing which bothers you, it’s the loss of autonomy.”

“Exactly.”

Gordon felt the couch dip as Scott took a seat beside him. When he opened his eyes, his brother was silhouetted against the sinking sun, dark hair highlighted with gold light, jaw still set with indignation on Gordon’s behalf. For a moment, he looked so much like their father that Gordon lost the ability to breathe. He wondered briefly how Jeff would have dealt with the situation. Probably in much the same way as Scott had – with a bloodthirsty legal team.

“Sit up before you make yourself sick,” Scott instructed him, leaning back against the cushions with a weary sigh. There were dark circles beneath his eyes again, tension keeping his shoulders rigid. He scrubbed his hands down his face, repressing a yawn. He’d been up for over twenty-four hours fending off the press whilst setting their own PR team on the case, despatching TI security to protect the poor, unfortunate date and checking in with Gordon at the same time. He probably didn’t even realise just how grateful his younger brother was for all of it.

“Thanks.”

Scott reached forward, snagged Gordon’s shirt, and hauled him the right way up. “Come again?”

“Just… thanks.” Gordon shrugged, tucking his hands under his thighs to keep from fidgeting. He stared at the sunrays falling across the carpet to avoid meeting Scott’s gaze. “For all of this. I know you’ve always got my back, but you’re, like, genuinely angry on my behalf right now and it’s just… nice. So, thanks. I have got a favour to ask though.”

Scott switched his phone onto silent as it vibrated again. “What type of favour?”

“Let me do an interview. Just one. It’ll be an exclusive scoop, so I want it to be with the right person, which is sort of where you come in because I have no idea how to arrange that. We’ve got an entire team for this kinda thing, right?”

It could have been a trick of the light, but Scott’s smile looked impossibly fond. “I’ll handle it. Penelope has some contacts too.”

“Cool.” Gordon exhaled slowly. His head was spinning slightly, although it was difficult to tell whether that was a result of sitting upside down for so long or a delayed reaction to having his sexuality used as a tabloid headline. “Cool, cool, cool. Also, um… actually, there’s one other thing. We have scholarships, don’t we? Like, there’s one set up in Mom’s name. Is there one in Dad’s? I have a vague memory of that.”

“There’s…” Scott took a moment to steady his voice. “John and I set one up in his name after- Yes, there’s a Jeff Tracy scholarship.” He draped an arm along the back of the couch and let Gordon fall heavily against his side. “You’ve got an idea then, I’m guessing?”

“Maybe.” Gordon lifted his feet onto the edge of the couch and picked at the loose thread in his shorts. His hands were trembling slightly, but he couldn’t figure out why, only knew that he was more grateful for Scott’s presence than he could put into words. “Can we set another one up? For LGBT+ kids? Not in my name, it feels kinda weird doing that while I’m alive. But yeah. Is that a thing we can do?”

Scott lifted his arm from the cushions to pull him closer. “Definitely. It’ll take a few days, but I can get it approved by Friday at the latest.”

He fumbled for his phone, trying to stifle a yawn, and Gordon swatted his wrist.

Scott shot him an offended look. “What was that for?”

“It can wait until morning. We both need a break. You’ve been up the entire night.”

“So have you.”

“Exactly.” Gordon clambered off the couch. “C’mon, let’s grab some food and crash for a few hours. Like, a lot of hours.” He caught Scott’s hands and tried to pull him upright. “Scotty.”

Scott reluctantly slid his phone into his pocket. He was clearly itching to check those unread messages and emails, but for now his younger brother was still his top priority and Gordon was planning to make the most of that for as long as he could. It was rare for him to be able to get Scott to eat a proper meal and actually sleep for once. The same fierce love which had led Scott to verbally tear several people to shreds whilst simultaneously typing out an email with his other hand ran both ways even if the dumbass couldn’t always see that.

Virgil had saved two plates for them, both stashed in the fridge with a note warning Alan not to touch on pain of death. Gordon shoved one in the microwave and propped himself against the counter to wait while Scott sat on a bar stool and tried not to fall asleep. Unusually, they ate in silence – Scott responding to emails and Gordon lost in his own head.

“Hey,” Scott prompted.

Gordon blinked, suddenly realising that his empty plate was gone. He pushed his knuckles against his eyes to rid them of the tired blur. The world seemed very big all of a sudden. People were talking about him – not his achievements but his identity – and it made his skin crawl. He imagined that this was the closest he would ever come to understanding how John felt about social events.

“Gordon,” Scott called softly, rapping his knuckles against his brother’s head. “C’mon, bud. Bedtime. Don’t make me carry you.”

Gordon slid off his perch with a tired laugh. “Carry me? I’m not ten anymore.”

“And?”

“And you wouldn’t let that stop you.”

“Exactly.”

Scott tugged him into a warm hug. Gordon let his head fall against his brother’s shoulder and finally felt the tension leak from his muscles. The world was passing judgement and if he were honest with himself then that was scary as hell, but Scott was still here, defending him from bullies as if they were kids again. He buried his face in Scott’s shoulder and breathed.

“I’m really proud of you,” Scott murmured. “I’m so sorry this happened, but I’m proud of you.”

Gordon lifted his head with a watery smile. “Permission to make a Pride joke?”

Scott gave him a light shove towards the stairs with a laugh. “Go to bed, squid.”

[melonkka]

i don’t know why ascended haters are obsessed with him and tried to paint him so bad that they come up with headcanons that have no backing. But they act like it’s a character analysis. When i read their headcanons, i wonder how many of them even played ascended ending to its fullest? They act like they only played ascension part, watched ascended hate videos, and ascended hate fics.

sometimes they seem to be obsessed more than us, honestly xd

many of them just refuse to play it bc it's 'bad for him' (being evil is bad 😏), which is fine and dandy and within their rights, but I'm not sure why they feel they have the authority to lecture people who know much better than them when all they essentially do is regurgitate someone else's point.

And when they finally do play it, after being deeply entrenched in the negative opinion abt him they're probably gonna experience a strong confirmation bias. but let's hope not.

the need to paint AA and SA as polar opposites probably stems from their refusal to accept the negative aspects of Astarion in general and they will gladly assign anything inconvenient to solely AA. As if both of them don’t have good and bad sides. So they will portray AA as this mindless monster with virtually flaws only to stress that he's Not My Spawn Astarion

[aajjks]

Haha, I don't know if this counts as the best version of me, but it's definitely the most real.

I come from a very strict Muslim family, so they all expect me to be so holy all the time. I used to be religious, but I think I've just drifted away over time, so I'm not that pious anymore. I still respect the moral values of Islam, but I don't feel inclined to practice Islam as strictly as I used to. I still think it's a beautiful religion with many beneficial practices, I just don't always want to be a perfect goody-two-shoes all the time. I still love the people in my life, but I guess I'm just scared to cause unnecessary conflict with my family, so I didn't say anything.

If they knew that I like reading stories about yanderes, they'd think I'm a psycho and that I need help, when I feel perfectly fine and not disturbed by fictional violence. I actually like music, I like dance, I like boys, I swear in my head and make dirty jokes, I actually want to scream and cheer and not just sit like a lady with my legs crossed, sometimes I want to make my hair look nice instead of wearing a scarf, etc. But to my family, that's all taboo. I'm not hurting anyone, so it can't be so wrong, right? Everytime I do anything vaguely fun, I get a whole long lecture. I'm not even allowed to put a picture of BTS up in my room or on my phone's lockscreen because it's a picture with faces. They're that superstitious.

I like to think that I'm still a good person because I don't hurt anyone intentionally and I'm still a kind respectful human being even though I may have some impure thoughts. They'd probably say I'm going to hell if they really knew me and they might just be right. I don't know. They'd probably disown me if they knew what I actually think and feel. I hope that someday I'll be comfortable enough to be able to be myself instead of acting like this quiet innocent child even though I'm almost 20.

Someday, I'll build up the courage, but for now, I'm just happy to be here. That's actually one of the reasons why I like hanging out here so much. Not only is there entertaining BTS content, but I feel like this is such a safe space. I don't have a single person in my actual life that I can joke with and feel unreserved with, whereas here, I have no inhibitions whatsoever. Yeah, some of the stuff that I send in here is anonymous, but I still bother to click send whereas I would never say it in real life.

I also appreciate that you're Muslim, so I can relate to you. It makes me feel less bad about being from a Muslim family and reading smut, lol. Where I come from, people would neeeever talk about sex. I'm not perfect. There's no such thing as perfect. That doesn't change that I feel like the most two-faced bitch out there. I feel like someone who's in the closet. I'm not gay, I just mean figuratively, like no one knows how I feel. Sorry, I know this was a bit of a long rant. I just needed to offload. Sometimes I wish I could meet you in person, Alina. Then at least I'd have one real friend that actually knows the real me without judging me. You're the kind of person who stands up for her friends no matter what. I know I call you a princess, but you're truly more like my night in shining armour who saves me from hating myself and from being alone. You have a heart of gold and I love you for it. Thank you for being my friend, even if it's virtual.

P.S., If this sounds off-putting to a non-Muslim about Islam, please don't use this as an example. Islam is a beautiful religion once you get to know it. My family is just a bit... extreme. They're not terrorists or oppressors. They would never force me to do anything serious against my will. I'm willingly like this. I've created this façade for myself and don't know how to get out of it. They're just very morally sound and staunchly religious. They're a little bit condemning and restrictive, but they're still good people.

I’m glad that you feel comfy enough to share your struggles n that’s okay, I’m just blessed enough to have parents who are open minded, I definitely love my religion a lot and i practice it daily but yeah….

Yay!!!! another Muslim!!!!

anytime bae, and I wish I could MEET ALL OF YOU LIKE A LITTKE MEET N GREET OOHHH I WISH I COULD 😭🩷

[dvarapala]

⛱ my opinions on anon hate

my rp experience // @danversiism

⛱ my opinions on anon hate

anon hate is bullshit and shouldn't exist. anon exists for compliments and memes and questions and queries and fun stuff. not for making people feel worse. like, i don't understand. what do you gain by shitting on someone because of their fc choice or their portrayal? if you don't agree with how someone does xyz on their blog for characters a, b and c, then make your own blog for those characters and write them as you see fit instead of just souring the experience for everybody involved.

anyway, with every blog i make / have made, anon gets turned off immediately; i've been here for twelve years and i'm so tired of people for making assumptions about characters that aren't even true or for projecting their takes on other people's characters and i'm especially tired of people taking this so seriously. as much as i love this, and i do love this because of the cool stuff i write/wrote and the people it's brought me, it's a hobby.

we're doing the virtual equivalent of playing with barbies on a website that, one day, will be inaccessable and only be able to be viewed through the wayback-machine. i just think anon hate is so stupid and such a waste of time, effort and energy. like go outside. take a walk. listen to some music. go read a book. watch a free lecture about how the brain works on youtube. watch a musical, a movie, a tv show. hell, i'll even rec them some if they need me to.

tl;dr: i just think it's really sad that people actively choose to dedicate their limited time / energy to something that'll never be worthwhile.

[sparrowhero]

have u actually written ‘bakugo is your friend and you teach him how to set up a VPN’ i’d like 2 see it if u have :]

you will be delighted to know how much i think about silly situations like this, love piracy, and hate streaming services

It starts out so simple: studying together in his dorm room. There's a shared TV in the common room at UA but that's been commandeered by some of the other students and Bakugo didn't win the fight to determine what to watch so it's back to his room for studying and he's picking something to put on for background noise.

"Damn it. They took my favorite All Might documentary off of Shitflix. Maybe it's on HBOcrap." You look on in horror as he goes through several different subscription based apps to try and find what it is he's looking for. What the fuck.

"Why don't you just download it?" You ask. "Why don't you just kiss my ass? Don't you think I would have, but it's streaming only, idiot. Can't buy it anywhere."

It's time to explain about the wonderful world of torrenting and virtual private networks to Katsuki Bakugo. "Isn't this shit illegal?" He asks. Of course not; otherwise why would it be advertised so often? You ply him with the added incentives of not getting advertisers being able to use his information to sell him shit and profiting off of his search histories and the like, as well as just the added security.

The downloading thing? Well, All Might probably doesn't make any more money off of views for that thing, so who gives a shit. It's also a way to find old All Might interviews and series that may have been out of print for years so of course he's going to jump on that.

You give him a few pointers about what to choose. He's making a face about having to pay for another service-- but wouldn't he rather shell out a few bucks a month to have something forever rather than be at the beck and call of whatever piece of shit CEO thinks is profitable at the moment? Needless to say, he's down and you hook him up with a reasonably priced VPN, torrent client, and some other anti-virus shit.

He's a smart guy so it's easy to explain to him what to click and what not to click. Katsuki Bakugo can must and will download a movie, or even a PDF of a book.

"But how am I going to get it on the screen, dumbass?" He demands after everything has finished and he remembers he does not want to view on his shitty little laptop screen. "Fullscreen, HDMI cable, and then change the source. You might also be able to just mirror it if the TV's specs are right." You look incredibly smug right now and he kind of hates it, but he also really wants to watch this.

Eventually the rest of the dorm catches on and you may or may not have become the Media Provider. Aizawa makes eye contact with you one evening as you all are using UA's high speed internet to completely and totally legally download something for movie night and gives you a long, judgemental look. You are definitely getting a lecture about this, but what's done is done. It can wait until after the movie.

[my-very-cool-dream-journal]

Okay first dream!

I remember this one VIVIDLY, and I’m going to try and go into full detail. Basically, I’m pretty sure my stepdad was a genius inventor in this dream, so he built me a bunch of cool stuff. The first thing he built me was a bumper car, and I drove it around a bit and stuff.

Then, it cut to me on a cruise (which I did just go on one so) and turns out my step dad built me a vr headset?! And it was like, super duper cool! I mean, I already have a vr headset, BUT THIS ONE WAS COOLER. I remember walking through this virtual, like, MMO (kinda like VRChat) but eventually getting bored and taking off the headset. My room on the cruise was super cool too. It was super futuristic, with a full on story game for me to play.

However, I decided to go into the pool with my friends (however they looked nothing like my friends, and I think one became Susie from deltarune at a point??) and we hung out for a while.

Then, I think I used VR in the water, and this time it was me battling Queen in Deltarune. However, this must’ve been my brains idea of an area in the Snowgrave route, because we were sword fighting on a dock and the ocean around us. I think it was representing surfing through the deep dark web? It was really cool, so I’ll draw out a little example for you.

So the battle commences. For some reason I was fighting with this glowing blue crystal, and as cool as it looked, it didn’t do any damage. And the game even roasted me on this, being like “Maybe you should fight with something that actually does damage?? So I picked up one of the pirate swords off of the ground (there were like 7) and started fighting. It was quite suspenseful! In the background I think there was some pirate music playing, however I like to imagine that it was a pirate remix of AOTKQ. I think it ended with somebody telling Queen that she’d be a good mod for their discord server, which then she becomes a stereotypical discord moderator and falls to the floor. She then tells me some stuff that I don’t remember, and the battle is complete.

I then took off the vr headset and hanged out in the pool a bit more before getting out and going to the hangout area. There was this adorable little kitten that I accidentally got wet and cold by wrapping a wet towel around it (I didn’t know it was wet, I thought it would work as a blanket) so it hated me :( I’m also pretty sure it had two names: Charlie and Marina. It for some reason had a full on in depth like, video game profile, so I checked it out and turns out the cat was an rambunctious rebel (which I did not sense from the kitten.) Then, it evolved into this weird looking donkey unicorn, which I DID NOT like, but my stepmom and the lady working there did.

Then, I remember the last part vividly. I had the name “Noelle” written on a piece of paper In a very strange font (I did not write like this.) then I was like, “Wait, Letters don’t look like this, I’m dreaming!” And I started LUCID DREAMING. However, I was in the process of waking up, so I was like “cmon stay asleep…” while imagining..a shoe? But here’s the interesting part. I was hearing voices (which sounded like my dad and stepmom) yelling at me to wake up, kinda like they did on school days. Same, not wanting to be lectured, woke up, AND IT WAS ALL FAKE?! There were no voices, my parents were asleep! I was really angry at that.

So, I forced myself back to sleep for a few moments to which a had a (semi related) dream (however not a lucid dream sadly). I was in the pool again, and one of my friends asked “why are you spending so much time in the pool?” As she said that, a scene from Ruby Gilman played?? I haven’t even seen it yet lol. I looked down at my legs to make sure they weren’t fins, and my friends were talking about why Susie from deltarune had such a long face. I looked up and there was Susie, sitting in the pool with us. I whispered “long nose” and then smacked her on the nose. Before she could react, I woke up.

TLDR, I was on a cruise ship, spent a lot of time in the pool, played a lot of VR (including a Pirate Queen boss fight from deltarune), made a strange unicorn kitten hate me, got yelled at by nobody, and smacked Susie on the nose.

Thanks for reading my dream!

(Unrelated but I like to go to sleep listening to music, and a few minutes after I woke up a Lofi remix of Final Duet started playing and I just 🥲)

[lindsaywesker]

Good morning! I hope you slept well and feel rested? Currently sitting at my desk, in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day. Welcome to the weekend!

Wow! Here we are again: Friday! Where did that week go? No, seriously, where did that week go?

I am not perfect. I have faults. I’m not telling you what my faults are but I know I am flawed and, in addition to that, I am ashamed of my flaws. Can I correct or ‘fix’ my bad qualities? I’m not sure I can. At this age, after all this time, I’m not sure how much I can change. I’ve got some really bad qualities but I’m not sure I can do much about them. Do you ever feel ashamed of yourself? The Trouble always says, “Those that KNOW better DO better.” Ever heard that expression? I know I can do better. I know I can. I’m trying. Those that think their sh*t don’t stink make me laugh. Ever heard that expression? Some judgemental people literally think their sh*t don’t stink and they’re out there bad mouthing you. Makes me laugh.

It might sound like I’m on a down, I am DEFINITELY not! You crazy? It’s Friday! How can I be down? The Mighty Josiah is already here and he is cute as a button. I’m working from home and I’ve virtually got the whole day to myself. The Trouble likes bacon sandwiches on a Friday, and we’ll probably watch a few episodes of ‘That 90s Show’. We’ll eat Chinese food this evening and chill in front of the TV. No work tomorrow. Course I’m bloody happy!

If you’re a TikTok person, check out my new video on TikTok and, of course, hit the follow button. My TikTok feed is basically just me rambling about music and music industry matters. Bit like my lectures. I only set up a TikTok profile because my students told me to do it. Chatting about music and music industry politics: that’s all I’m good for really. I think this career chose me. I always wanted to be a Gregorian Monk but I never got the chants.

Got a brilliant weekend ahead of us. We were going to see a family friend a few weeks ago but I started sneezing and coughing. I rescheduled and we’re now going to see him on Saturday. He has a recording studio, so we are very excited. We’ll see what we come up with? You never know? We know we’re good songwriters. Someone just uploaded the entire second Dazzle album on You Tube. Not one song, the whole bloody album; full of good songs, written about 1988/89. I would love to re-record them all and get them 2023 popping!

Have a fabulous and funky Friday! I love you all. You’re probably thinking, “You don’t even know me!” but, if people can hate for no reason, why can’t I love?

[runerosen]

Ruins of Rune: Chapter 2

Ruins of Rune: Chapter Two, 12 Years Later

"And now, Rune Rosen will speak." As the congregation turned to me, I stood up and walked to the podium, the only sound being the click of my heels across the wood stage. Taking in a deep breath, I looked into the eyes of Hisashi and his child, Asuga, who gave me an encouraging smile. Slowly, I turned my eyes back to the crowd and began to speak.

"It is not always the case that significance translates into positive influence. It's hard to say more than that, other than those who are important in your life have become so because of tragedies you've experienced. Despite my mother's best efforts, I am negatively affected by her. Because of what happened, I stopped calling her mom and now call her mother instead. After all, she emotionally abandoned me sixteen years ago.

"My life has been impacted by emotional abuse. My parents started as soon as I returned from hospital after being hospitalized four years ago. Instead of helping me, they punished me relentlessly. The hatred increased after I was hospitalized, but it had always been there. From five to seven years old, my parents would lock me out of the house if I hadn't fallen asleep by the time they went to bed. I now know that my insomnia was the cause. My mother let me scream and bang on her door as I cried. Having been left in the dark with a flickering light that was about to go out gave me many panic attacks when I was a child. In some cases, my parents turned out that light and left tenebrously behind. There was a very short period of time I was held here, but it was traumatic.

"In 7th grade, I started attending virtual school since I wasn't ready to attend a public school. I was almost always sent home because I was suicidal. Having difficulty managing time and staying focused was a major issue for me, so I nearly failed seventh grade until I was forced to finish my overdue assignments. Due to this, my parents and I had “Come To Jesus” meetings. I ignored it, but it came every week. Why didn't they see that lectures, screaming, cursing, and threatening were not working? In a few days, they started threatening me with a belt until I understood how important it was to do my overdue assignments. A few weeks later, they pulled down my pants and beat me until I couldn't sit, and it was unspeakable. My heart broke when they said, "We did this because we love you." 

"As a result, if I told someone, my parents would discredit me in public by saying, “you have distorted perceptions of reality.” I understood that to mean, “you’re screwed up.” As a result of three years of hearing "you only see what you want to see," "sometimes we question your sanity," and "you read between the lines too much," the perception left its mark. In recent days, I have started to question my sanity. In my weekly therapy sessions, I discuss my life's past with a therapist, mainly regarding my parents' opinions. My life would have been on the line back then if it proved true.

"At one point, I attempted suicide and almost succeeded if it weren't for my best friend, Hisashi, busting into my room. After being locked in my bedroom, which was void of personality and color, I became so starved of comfort, food, and other necessities that I deemed it essential to my well-being that I die. I truly thought and still think that the pain I experienced as a teenager and in my childhood, is undoubtedly worse than the torture I shall come to know in the depths of hell. And yet, no one visited except Hisashi. Everyone I knew had suddenly made their loyalties known because of one drastic but necessary decision. It positively changed my life for the better, too.

"Although I still doubt my sanity, I recognize that I was emotionally abused by my hateful parents. After reading about abuse for someone's benefit, I experienced an epiphany regarding my abuse:

"Emotional abuse is a way to control another person by using emotions to criticize, embarrass, shame, blame, or otherwise manipulate another person. Some signs of emotional abuse are: name-calling, yelling, public embarrassment, and dismissiveness. Warning signs are but are not limited to, threats, digital spying, frustrated helplessness, and monitoring whereabouts. The National Domestic Violence Hotline states, “because of its subtleties, emotional abuse can be quite difficult to detect when it is being experienced...emotional abusive behaviors do not leave physical marks, [but] they do hurt, disempower, and traumatize. "Emotional abuse can erode self-esteem and will because subtle behaviors are incorporated into it."

"Thus, as my abuse changed me, I became numb in the presence of my parents. As far as I'm concerned, showing affection to people who leave me to constantly ask myself questions is not appropriate. As a result of the roles they played in my life, I became indifferent to my mother and father, and I will remain indifferent, as their presence destroyed my overall well-being.

"As I have stated above, my mother and father played a significant role in my life. My abusers traumatized me, leaving me scarred, and in turn preventing me from caring about them. As these types of abusive behaviors are subtle, I was unable to recognize that I was the victim. As a result, I am fixing my welfare for the improvement of my quality of life, even though I continue to struggle to move past these hurdles. Throughout my life, emotional abuse has played a significant role and continues to do so every day. Thank you for your time."

I watched the congregation with unrevealing eyes to see what they would do. For five seconds, all you could hear was the sobbing of mothers, fathers, guardians, and victims like myself. Then, Hisashi stood up and started clapping as hard as he could, tears streaking his cheeks as he did. Asuga immediately jumped up to follow her father's example, giving me a bright smile. Soon, another stood up and followed their example, and another, and before I knew it, everyone who had stood up to clap. 

The tears, those didn't shock me. But the clapping did, for no one had truly appreciated what I had to say and it was overwhelming. I covered my mouth with one hand as I started crying from happiness, for no words could express the love I felt then and there.

I slowly turned my eyes to the left and looked out at the sky from the window there, losing myself in thought. The crowd's chattering died away, and it was finally silent for me. I felt at peace with myself and the world for the second time in my life, but this time, I could thrive in it.

Mother, father, I don't know where you are now, but I hope you know that twelve years later after I felt driven to death, I am still going strong and standing as an advocate of emotional abuse. 

My past may be ruins, but I am Rune Rosen.

I will survive.

A/N: Yay! Second chapter, woot-woot! Stay tuned for more!

[dogaseducationblog]

let's get out of here... at least for a while

hi, tumblr's lovely people,

the day has come. the day that I finally leave you...

haha. you're too naive, I've tricked you. I'll be just taking a break because the first term of my second year has finally come to an end but don't worry, your sunshine, your reason to wake up, your source of energy will be here, better than ever, on the next semester. so this might be my final post for a while but it won't take too long.

so, yeah... I'll get emotional. we've been together for almost four months now and even if I had times that I wanted to kill myself just because I didn't want to write a post, this class was -don't tell this to my lecturer, I hate to admit it- kinda enjoyable and interesting. also, I really liked to have a voice to share my experiences and a personal space where only my opinions matter. until this term, I've never had to use technology this much for anything actually so creating all of those things was exciting, new, and in the most positive way, very challenging for me. not just learning about the web 2.0 tools but also creating our own works with those tools was so intriguing and beneficial. we’ve experienced that if you explore your own creativity and push its limits, there are many ways to integrate language learning with technology in a better way.

my favorite task to do among the ones we did was probably creating a podcast just because we had the chance to use the song "kingdom dance" from tangled the animation as our background music which was AWESOME. you already know we're geniuses but THIS. this was beyond genius. using that sound as a part of some of our projects was a dream of mine and Şevval's so it'll stay in my mind as one of the most fulfilling moments of my university life.

the least favorite one though was probably the one we made a padlet chart. there was nothing wrong or hard about that task actually but it was overall boring to do and since the topic of our padlet wall was bullying I was kinda buried in my past traumas. even your sunshine girlie has a depressive side, you know. I'm a Taylor Swift girlie, duh?

this class was very nice if we don't count the times that I wanted to cut my head off because I live in Gebze which means one hour ride to my school. we had a lot of choices in each assignment which was so nice. the freedom to choose what to do and to have interesting options made the lesson so much more interesting. so, it turns out I don't have anything negative to say about this class and it means I have to say goodbye for now. I know you'll miss me.

thank you for reading my confused ideas and being here for me. I'll miss you too.

as Woody the Cowboy said in Toy Story 3... so long, my partner. (you know it's not forever, I'm just making it dramatic)

virtual hugs.

until next time,

with love... and obviously education, Doğa.

[theunaestheticstudyblr]

UNIVERSITY WITH MENTAL ILLNESS

Mental health and illness is already hard enough, but adding school pressure on top is hard. High school was easier for me since there is a lot more structure and a lot less choice, which is why I'm targeting this towards college and university students.

Firstly is attending class. Getting to class is a major hurdle, especially with a commute like me (1 hour+) broke people problems lmao. Driving that long to go to a class just to drive back home is already exhausting and unpleasant, especially knowing professors will post slides or something after class anyways. But you have to drag yourself there. One thing I do to help is dress up. I'll do my makeup and put on nicer clothes. Why does this work for me? I hate wasting stuff, especially money and to me, putting on makeup is spending money essentially (same logic as using rare items in a video game idk). I can't just sit around the house and waste the money I just put on my face so I gotta go to class. Small things like this to trick your brain works so well. Before this, there was a restaurant I absolutely loved next to campus so if I went to every class for two weeks I would reward myself by going there. Another thing that helps is making plans with people ahead of time. They'll hold you accountable on days that you can't.

Take rest days. Schedule one whole day a week where you don't do school or go to work. It's a day completely off for anything. I use this day to do chores in the morning and then just lay around and do absolutely nothing all afternoon and night. This helps recharge and reduce stimulation and socialization. It gives your brain that little rest it cries for every day. I used to panic so much about this one day because I could be working and making money or studying or doing anything to be productive until I had a week where I couldn't do anything because I broke down completely, mentally and physically. Now I see it as a preservation day. I use this day to recover from everything.

Make your notes pretty. I hate going back and looking at my messy class notes. Everything is scattered and messy and I get frustrated. What I do instead is make a virtual, concise copy that is pretty to me. I'll add little sketches, color, pictures, etc. This helps draw my attention and allows me to study while doing it! Making the second copy forces you to go through the material after a class is over and review the material to decide what is truly important and then organize it all and then rewrite it all. This has been a huge help.

Use class breaks to snack or grab coffee. One thing I have found in many people with high anxiety is that food and drinks really help calm you down. I've found some research suggesting it's because food is a signal that things are safe and therefore makes you more relaxed, though I don't know much about anthropology and psychology fields. I find this really helps to calm me down after I had a very stressful test so that I can be more present for the next class. Gum helps a lot on high anxiety/panic days as well.

Download the notes or slides, especially if posted ahead of time. This way you have access even if you don't have wifi. You can even pull them up in lectures so you don't have to focus on the board the whole time. For my people with autism, this has helped me so much. There are times where you can't focus on the professor and the slides and the sounds and writing, so doing this cuts out having to watch the teacher and the board. Bonus points if you can record during lecture as well so you can revisit parts that you zoned out in or couldn't focus on.

Keep a journal or diary and list your activities, food, weather, etc in it as well as your mood. This can help you find correlations to hack shit. My favorite way of doing this is through the Daylio app (I wrote a post about it here). Like I notice that days when it's rainy, I study and read more and days where I walk more and eat breakfast, I focus better and am happier overall. This information helps so much. If I know it's going to rain tomorrow, I won't try to force myself to study a bunch today and instead save that energy for later. Instead, I'll take care of myself and go for a walk or something. Knowing how you work and why really makes a HUGE difference.

This might just be my autism brain, but finding cool things related to the topic at hand has helped me keep interest in at least a little of the subject, helping me study more. Like I don't like chimaeras (a fish group) BUT for some reason I love fish teeth and these fishes have a very unique tooth set. This at least let's me know something instead of just ignoring and forgetting everything. 20% is better than nothing.

Find a reason to study what you do, even if it's just that you need this class to graduate. Just taking classes for no reason seems like something neurotypical people are able to do. I can't do it. I need a reason and if I can't find one, I just give up. I used to always say it was useless and pointless and didn't understand why it was required. But I realized the reason to take it is because I want a piece of paper that says I traded lots of money and sanity for it. And that reason has to be good enough.

Make study games. Games are more fun than lifeless paper. Matching games, crosswords, coloring pages, whatever you like!

Feel free to add your tips to this post as well!! I always have room for improvement and experimentation, especially for really hard days. I still find myself skipping even online classes some days. No one had all the answers or has everything figured out. This is just an incomplete list of things that have helped me out a bit and made college life a bit easier.

[dumdaradumdaradum]

Guess who is in middle of a lecture but decided to write this here ::

So I've been thinking about doing a case study for Bheem like I did for Ram but then I realised it's not the same.

I can't ask the same questions, actually I'm not even sure of what questions I can put up.

Have you watched Korean movies or dramas? If yes then you must have noticed how well formed, rounded and individual there characters are.

Bheem is the same.

He's a well formed human. That's the highest compliment for not just characters but for real people as well.

He's confident in his talents, he's secure about his upbringing and values. He doesn't allow negativity to overwhelm him.

Unlike us unhinged idiots, he stays in control of his state of being.

I think the only time I saw a shred of hate was when Ram suggested that he be hung infront of Malli.

Even that could be seen as self loathing because he trusted Ram and couldn't understand how he was so wrong. Well maybe not but allow me to indulge okay?

I was thinking and couldn't come up with single response to who he'd be without Ram.

Probably same as he was.

Isn't that beautiful? Bheem stayed true to his essence throughout.

As much fun it was to watch Ram become free in bheem's presence, it was very peaceful to see how Bheem virtually didn't need another person to make him better.

Without Ram, Bheem would still be Bheem- soft, caring, intelligent and a free spirit. I almost thought Ram gave Bheem the impulse to comeup with self sabotaging plans but then i remembered that our guy was collecting wild animals much before the epic meet.

Then i laughed. Cried a bit too, I'll tell you why-

Without Ram, Bheem would be same. Ram didn't contribute to character development. The only thing Bheem gained out of this friendship was love.

Bheem would still be a loving person but Ram showed him love.

I can never undermine this. I have personally craved for a connection as pure and strong as theirs.

The secure bond they had was Ram's little contribution to Bheem's life and nothing can be more precious than that.

Brb gotta wipe these treacherous tears.