#I hate that its still relevant
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Apologise
E. Abel, 2014
The year is 1955.
A fourteen-year-old boy
Named Emmett Till
Winks at a white woman in Missouri.
Days later
His body washes up
Soaked
Barely recognizable.
When it's finally identified
With its beaten black face
Smashed to the point
Where it's hard to think this kid
Ever had a name
It's sent to his mother
Who chooses
Not to cover his face at the funeral
To leave the coffin open
So all can see
The bruised and rotted flesh
Swollen discolored and bloody
With one eye dangling from its socket.
Thousands of people cry.
The pictures hit the news.
Emmett Till and his mother Mamie
Are names known across the country
And the men who killed him
Are found not guilty.
-
The year is 1964.
A young man
Named James Earl Chaney
Is working with the Congress of Racial Equality
As a civil rights worker in Mississippi.
He advocates voter registration
Trying to get black people
The representation they deserve.
The KKK has burned a church for blacks.
Chaney is investigating.
His bus is stopped
By a group of men
In pointed white hats and masks.
For weeks people search
Until his body is found,
But only because he went missing
With two white men.
The dozens of other blacks who have gone missing
In the same way
In the same town
Are never searched for
And the Klan members don't go to prison.
It takes 40 years
Before the man who organized his killing
Is sentenced
For manslaughter.
Four years later
A great leader is shot.
-
The year is 2012.
A boy of seventeen
Named Trayvon Martin
Is walking around Sanford Florida
Wearing a hoodie
Getting candy and juice
At a convenience store.
A neighborhood watch volunteer
Sees him slouching
His hood up over his head.
A gun is drawn and fired.
Trayvon keels over.
His pictures are released to the press
Who debate the issue more heatedly
Than the presidential race.
Rallies and protests ensue,
Millions sign a petition for the volunteer's imprisonment
But Florida says "Stand Your Ground"
And Zimmerman walks free.
-
The day is August 9th, 2014.
In Ferguson, Missouri
An eighteen-year-old
Named Michael Brown
Is walking down the street with his friend.
A police officer pulls up and yells for them to get on the sidewalk;
The two keep walking.
The officer pulls up next to them
Yelling again.
Suddenly a shot is fired from inside the car.
It grazes the teen's side
He and his friend take off running
The cop chases.
The friend hides behind a car
Fearing for his life.
A second shot hits the already wounded boy
The teen turns to his attacker instead.
Michael gets down on his knees
An innocent
Surrendering without a fight
In the hope that his enemy will have mercy
"Hands up
Don't shoot"
He cries.
BANG
To the head
BANG BANG BANG
Bullets hit the insides of his arms
His chest
The body lays in the street for hours
Police pick it up later in a van
The witnesses all say the same thing.
-
That night the protests start
Saying the same thing Michael said
"Hands up
Don't shoot"
"No justice
No peace"
Not a gun is drawn by the protestors
No threats are made.
The next night
Tear gas is thrown
As a crowd control tactic
By police.
Within a week
Armored vehicles and assault rifles
Have been dealt to the suburban unit
The people still protest in peace
Suffering burning eyes
And rubber bullet wounds
For justice
And Darren Wilson gets away with murder.
-
It has been sixty years
Since the death of Emmett Till
Fifty years since the deaths of J. E. Chaney and Martin Luther King. Jr
Two years since Trayvon Martin
And still one must wonder
What America truly thinks
When it says
All its people are born equal
If the life of a black teenager
Is worth less than the box of cigars he supposedly stole,
When those who are supposed to protect us
Can murder innocents
And walk away unscathed.
We may be the home of the brave
But the United States
Is still not
The land of the free
For anyone whose skin
Is darker than the sand on the beach,
We cannot say we stand for justice
Until all murderers sit behind bars
Instead of in front of their televisions
In the guise of a police officer.
America is crippled
Until it can stand united and say,
To the dark children
Whose parents have been fighting the same fight
For the last four hundred years
And have yet to gain their equality,
Until it can say to them
"I'm sorry."
‘Race and racism is a reality that so many of us grow up learning to just deal with. But if we ever hope to move past it, it can’t just be on people of color to deal with it. It’s up to all of us – Black, white, everyone – no matter how well-meaning we think we might be, to do the honest, uncomfortable work of rooting it out. It starts with self-examination and listening to those whose lives are different from our own. It ends with justice, compassion, and empathy that manifests in our lives and on our streets.’ — Michelle Obama
#i wrote this when i was 15 just after the news broke#I hate that its still relevant#and that we can now add a decade to all of those year counts and nothing has changed#and the apology is only the beginning#then comes restitution
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I feel like comic writers and some fans have forgotten that Young Justice is mostly about the girls. The main storylines were about Secret/Greta, Cissie, and Anita. The boys were there but they had their own runs. Take Young Justice Dark Crisis, yeah it's all about the boys IF you only read the first 5 ish comics. After that it's either big comic events or about the girls. Really the girls are the main characters of Young Justice, the boys are there to draw people in.
#young justice 98#young justice#young just us#anita fite#empress#cissie king jones#arrowette#wondergirl#cassie sandsmark#secret#greta hayes#superboy#kon el#impulse#bart allen#robin#tim drake#dc comics#comics#comic books#dark crisis#young justice dark crisis#dark crisis young justice#yj98#i heard someone say that they couldn't make a YJ 98 show cus then id be all about boys. the storylines are Cissie and her stepping away from#being a hero. secret trying to find out who and what she is. Anita and her dads death/parents undeath and he relationship with yj. its about#cassie finding herself out and BECOMEING THE LEADER of Young Justice. hell theirs also Red Tonados daughter Traya who was born in another#country. the girls in her school hate crimed her for it. tell me that aint still relevant! Cissies therapist doied in a school shooting and#the news blamed it on video games and violent media so she went off on them... then tried to kill the people who killed her therapist.#these are the main storyline of yj!
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sometimes when i like characters thisssss much i like drawing unnecessarily complicated comics of them having a normal ass conversation
#dreamworks trolls#trolls#trolls band together#king peppy#viva#poppy#HATE these guys#if you recognize the dialogue [smooches u] i liked it a lot and wanted to practice comic panelling so i drew it out too#doodling#they exchange leadin advice at the breakfast table but mostly its poppy kinda just taking in the Phenomenom of people in her life#Actually talking about their time at the troll tree bc when she asks for advice all vivas knowledge link back#to what peppy taught her back at bergentown#and peppy has the spine to not run away for once but he is still slightly kinda minorly scared of his eldest daughter#but. they make do.#i know most of these ended up kinda crude and its bc i rushed these but im really happy w poppys weird grimaces#i want to draw her more experiencing Emotions#ok. done yapping. remember okay. royal pop fam. ok. thank you. boops you#happy halloween (post not relevant at all)
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i feel like kim dokja has enough internalized homophobia to be at least a little weirded out by his attraction to yoo joonghyuk + yoo joonghyuks attraction him once he figures out that is indeed what it is. but i also think this is a problem that pales in comparison to the huge fucking complex he has about loving and being loved. so like ultimately it doesn't really matter. like if kim dokja were normal then you could write a whole story about him learning to overcome his fear around his attraction to men and what it means to do so in an apocalyptic world where those social norms are now inherently changed because there isnt really a society anyway. but much like kim dokja continues to wear office friendly clothing despite the fact minosoft is firmly dead there are things from that past you keep doing more out of familiarity than anything else. but because kim dokja is infinitely more afraid of the idea of being in a romantic relationship period due to his ongoing urge to punish himself and his fear of emotional intimacy, by the time theyve worked through that and kim dokja is finally comfortable enough with himself to be in a relationship with yoo joonghyuk hes sitting on the couch cuddling with him like oh fuck, the gay thing. well. whatever. bit late now!
#like i do think if yoo joonghyuk was into kim dokja he would start talking about 'ooc my fav isnt gay :/'#and kim dokja would be like 'why go for a man when you have lee seolwha right there'#but also crucially if kim dokja were a woman she would similarly feel inferior#cause it ultimately comes from a place of hating yourself#rather than of homophobia#in this cause the homophobia is just sprinkled on top#orv#i got distracted half way through writing this and started thinking about homophobia in an apocalyptic setting if you cant tell#but its like. still semi relevant. so...
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let me be clear i like veilguard but it does suck that no one disapproves anymore outside of like. three choices. i want to be fighting for my life earning approval back again someone has GOT to hate my ass. i should be careful about party composition and companion reactions again. i miss tactically taking fenris out of the party before i'm nice to merrill like those were the days
#please omg can someone hate my ass . not really. but in previous games it sometimes did feel like i was earning approval back#like a. 'even when we fight i still love you. don't forget that' way . i wanted some uphill battle and dav IS super sanitised#the difference is more staggering to old players than new ones. i think dav plays rly well for someone who doesnt know the franchise#but i keep asking questions like 'should the dalish not be more worried about solas/etc' 'the crows r not this nice'#'why wouldnt isabela ask about varric' 'there should probably be more fantasy racism here'#of course these r the devs who were slandering zevran weeks before release. however its also just. man.#I AM ENJOYING THE GAME THOUGH. just wish it had a bit (a lot) more relevance and respect to what its built up in the prev games#dragon age#dav spoilers#veilguard spoilers#dav#txt#like for example i think one of my favorite small writing moments is cass asking about the inquisitor's family in dai#where she approves if you are also estranged but disapproves if you say you want to go back#because for a split second she does not just see a so called 'herald' that she's forced to work with#it's someone just like her who never got along w their family and despite herself she likes the inquisitor more for it#or it's someone who couldn't be less like her and her dislike and initial mistrust becomes more certain#it just. there's is an amount of depth lost when vg tries this hard to make rook be loved as a default
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actually i'm still thinking about the moral orel finale.
he has a cross on his wall. do you know how much i think about that bc it's a lot.
a lot of stories ((auto)biographical or fictional) centering escape from abusive/fundamentalist christianity result in the lead characters leaving behind christianity entirely. and that makes complete sense! people often grow disillusioned with the associated systems and beliefs, and when it was something used to hurt them or something so inseparable from their abuse that they can't engage with it without hurting, it makes total sense that they would disengage entirely. and sometimes they just figure out that they don't really believe in god/a christian god/etc. a healthy deconstruction process can sometimes look like becoming an atheist or converting to another religion. it's all case by case. (note: i'm sure this happens with other religions as well, i'm just most familiar with christian versions of this phenomenon).
but in orel's case, his faith was one of the few things that actually brought him comfort and joy. he loved god, y'know? genuinely. and he felt loved by god and supported by him when he had no one else. and the abuses he faced were in how the people in his life twisted religion to control others, to run away from themselves, to shield them from others, etc. and often, orel's conflicts with how they acted out christianity come as a direct result of his purer understanding of god/jesus/whatever ("aren't we supposed to be like this/do that?" met with an adult's excuse for their own behavior or the fastest way they could think of to get orel to leave them alone (i.e. orel saying i thought we weren't supposed to lie? and clay saying uhhh it doesn't count if you're lying to yourself)). the little guy played catch with god instead of his dad, like.. his faith was real, and his love was real. and i think it's a good choice to have orel maintain something that was so important to him and such a grounding, comforting force in the midst of. All That Stuff Moralton Was Up To/Put Him Through. being all about jesus was not the problem, in orel's case.
and i know i'm mostly assuming that orel ended up in a healthier, less rigid version of christianity, but i feel like that's something that was hinted at a lot through the series, that that's the direction he'd go. when he meditates during the prayer bee and accepts stephanie's different way to communicate, incorporating elements of buddhism into his faith; when he has his I AM A CHURCH breakdown (removing himself from the institution and realizing he can be like,, the center of his own faith? taking a more individualistic approach? but Truly Going Through It at the same time), his acceptance (...sometimes) of those who are different from him and condemned by the adults of moralton (stephanie (lesbian icon stephanie my beloved), christina (who's like. just a slightly different form of fundie protestant from him), dr chosenberg (the jewish doctor from otherton in holy visage)). his track record on this isn't perfect, but it gets better as orel starts maturing and picking up on what an absolute shitfest moralton is. it's all ways of questioning the things he's been taught, and it makes sense that it would lead to a bigger questioning as he puts those pieces together more. anyway i think part of his growth is weeding out all the lost commandments of his upbringing and focusing on what faith means to him, and what he thinks it should mean. how he wants to see the world and how he wants to treat people and what he thinks is okay and right, and looking to religion for guidance in that, not as like. a way to justify hurting those he's afraid or resentful of, as his role models did.
he's coming to his own conclusions rather than obediently, unquestioningly taking in what others say. but he's still listening to pick out the parts that make sense to him. (edit/note: and it's his compassion and his faith that are the primary motivations for this questioning and revisal process, both of individual cases and, eventually, the final boss that is christianity.) it makes perfect sense as the conclusion to his character arc and it fits the overall approach of the show far better. it's good is what i'm saying.
and i think it's important to show that kind of ending, because that's a pretty common and equally valid result of deconstruction. and i think it cements the show's treatment of christianity as something that's often (and maybe even easily) exploited, but not something inherently bad. something that can be very positive, even. guys he even has a dog he's not afraid of loving anymore. he's not afraid of loving anyone more than jesus and i don't think it's because he loves this dog less than bartholomew (though he was probably far more desperate for healthy affection and companionship when he was younger). i think it's because he figures god would want him to love that dog. he's choosing to believe that god would want him to love and to be happy and to be kind. he's not afraid of loving in the wrong way do you know how cool that is he's taking back control he's taking back something he loves from his abusers im so normal
#i had a really big fundie snark phase a year or two ago so that's part of like. this. but im still not used to actually talking about#religious stuff so if it reads kinda awkwardly uhh forgive me orz idk#maybe it sounds dumb but i like that the message isn't 'religion is evil'. it easily could have been. but i think the show's points about#how fundie wasp culture in particular treats christianity and itself and others would be less poignant if they were like. and jesus sucks#btw >:] like. this feels more nuanced to me. i guess there's probably a way to maintain that nuance with an ultimately anti-christian#piece of media but i think it'd be like. wayy harder and it's difficult for me to imagine that bc i think a lot of it would bleed out into#the tone. + why focus on only These christians when They're All also bad? so you'd get jokes about them in general#and i think that's kinda less funny than orel and doughy screaming and running from catholics lsdkjfldksj#i think the specificity makes it more unique and compelling as comedy and as commentary. but that's just me#like moralton represents a very particular kind of christian community (namely a middle class fundie wasp nest)#you're not gonna be able to get in the weeds as much if you're laughing at/criticizing all christians. but they accomplish it so thoroughly#and WELL in morel and i think that's because it chose a smaller target it can get to dissect more intimately. anyway#moral orel#orel puppington#(OH also when i say wasp here i mean WASP the acronym. as in white anglo-saxon protestsant. in case the term's new to anyone <3)#maybe it's also relevant to say that i'm kindaaaaaaaa loosely vaguely nonspecifically christian. so there's my bias revealed#i was never raised like orel but i like to think i get some of what's going on in there y'know. in that big autistic head of his#but it's not like i can't handle anti-christian/anti-religious media/takes. i'm a big boy and also i v much get why it's out there yknow#christianity in specific has a lot of blood on its hands from its own members and from outsiders and people have a right to hate it for tha#but religion in all its forms can be positive and i appreciate the nuance. like i've said around 20 times. yeah :) <3#(<- fighting for my life to explain things even though my one job is to be the explainer)
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Bob in female fight club au. Thoughts
Probably named Marge
Rather than doing a direct inversion (ie making the character the exact opposite, much tits -> no tits, etc) I think sort of an analogue would work better riffing off the motherly role Bob has, in combination with the group being for uterine cancer/ovarian cancer
The women come together, and they cry, cry, cry, over lost husbands, who left them because they got cancer, because overwhelmingly, men leave if their wife gets cancer, over lost relationships with children, who stayed but resent them, over lost Motherhood, that thing you were told was your worth but now you are told you're shit. Remaining Women Together. Despite. Despite despite despite.
What is it, about purposes. Want to see misery, see women fed their own physical oppression as lost salvation.
Marge, whatever her name is, her husband divorced her, left her with the kids and medical bills stacked as high as she is tall. She is thankful she still has her kids, it makes her feel like she's still worth something. She's had to try and get back into the workforce. No one wants to hire dear former stay at home mother Marge. She shows you her kids in her wallet in her purse and there are no pictures of her. There's a picture of her old husband, which she keeps to show her kids if they ask. They're old enough to go to school now, which is good, because it gives her more time to work. Life is hard, but she's doing her best.
Marge, who is on hormone therapy so she doesn't get those "side effects" she's heard about from other total hysterectomy patients, the future of early dementia and degeneration and horror. Who does pelvic floor exercises in hopes it will minimise the fallout of the surgery. Who carefully rips every hair out of her upper lip and chin because even if it would be normal for a woman, a woman whose gone through menopause, a woman at all — she knows, it's probably the estrogen tipping back over into testosterone, and she can't handle any more losses. She compensates. They all do.
The support group is her Me Time. It is the single hour plus half hour commute she can afford once a week for herself. So she gets here, and she cries, cries, cries, and the others cry with her, all over how their lives have fallen apart since they got ovarian cancer, got breast cancer, and their lives derailed because they can't be proper women anymore.
They cry in their waterproof makeup. Another product to promise womanhood. Identify yourself via consumption. Identify yourself by covering yourself up.
And when she finds fight club. When she finds something that says, jesus fuck. You are more than your children. You are more than your ability to have kids. You aren't a failed woman, that's a sack of shit you've been sold wholesale. When she finds something that promises her she will grow, achieve personhood, not because she was the ultimate martyr mother, not because she played the game of human or woman, but because it promises a freedom from all that, identification and repulsion of such sickening chains. When she stops worrying about her slightly deepened voice, and works to keep her dose even keel for her health, to avoid the toxic highs of accidentally juicing, rather than the lesser effects of a black lip hair or two. When she has a photo, not of herself in her wallet, but of the things she makes with other women from fight club, of the one view of the sunset from that one parking lot that she always thought was wonderful, when she has things in her wallet for her and her enjoyment. When she has corded muscle and a built up spine, when she sits her kids down and explains why they only see dad one weekend every other month, all the fun holidays, because dad decided staying with her through cancer was too hard even when she stayed with him through four lost jobs pissed away in alcohol and lottery tickets.
And Marge, who gets shot by the police on a regulation chill-and-drill assignment for Project Mayhem. Whose obituary in the newspaper talks about the children she left behind, how she battled cancer and kept caring for them, how she was such a strong mother, whose kids would now be shipped off to their grieving father who is so, so brave and stunning for standing up and taking care of the kids he made and dropped as soon as his live-in servant had a few issues. Her name is Marge Paulson, and she was forty-eight years old. She was a person. She will be remembered in the annals of Project Mayhem, lest what little there was of her be stolen from the world. She was killed by Project Mayhem, but they're the only ones who will remember Marge Paulson.
#fight club#female fight club au#like. it's about how the male castration being the worst thing that could happen to a man as per gendered ideals gets reflected here.#being very clear; the motherhood focus should seem as immensely disturbing and disproportionate. if not much more tbh. as how the guys are#because like. yeah the male focus on balls is immense but the pressure to consider your entire worth and personhood and status as a being a#your reproductive capacity is Insane for women. and i think that would be uhhh highly relevant in female fight club#both as the logical mirror to the castration/emasculation thing#and also because it's inextricable from any sort of feminism demanding a backbone#yadda yadda yadda#the end is also interesting#the death and the name thing just cant quite be the same#its still horrifying because the Project did kill her#but god. so many women die and no one fucking remembers them#just what they did as mothers or servants#so. her name is marge paulson. would be important.#this is very specific and dear 2 me.#its not about hating the kids or saying fuck them or anything either#its just. shes a person. womanhood is not some step below (man) personhood
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my take on the localised names thing is that eustace winner is actually a better name, it clearly shows his obsession with being the best while also showing hes a loser, and the name that should be getting hate but doesnt because its established since the first game is miles edgeworth. its completely random and the only part they managed to keep was 'edge' as in swords have edges which is a bit pathetic when you think about it
#like to be fair i dont really know how relevent the kanji are meant to be for the character#phoenix has then kanji for walk and hall in his name#though thats cause its the sound thats the pun#lile overall i dont get the nuances of almost any#and i do think generally this is something the translation did well in like phoenix wright is a really good choice#but i really dont get it with edgeworth other than being the established name of the character it doesnt really even suit him?#wonder if the first name is literally just to keep the mi like what else does it do#i suppose edgeworth sounds like a bit posh but not really like the meaning of the kanji at all#though yeah maybe thats cause its not the impression that name would make? really dont know but id think 御 wouldnt be too complicated#i dunno i also personally think that eustace winner actually sounds good as a name#and that miles edgeworth sounds slightly stupid#i dont hate it or anything but i still reckon thats probably controversial#ace attorney
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👍
#i went to sleep at 3am and its 6am now bc i criedmyself to sleep 👍👍#sorry to ventdump my annoying insecurities again#i cant bring myself to do something i really want anymore#been having these thoughts since last year but this year its a lot more apparent#ideas are not scarce but the motivation/time to execute them are#i wish i could take an indefinite break on taking commissions bc by the time im finished with all of them im too burnt out/1#to draw for my blog and by the time it passes my motivation for these ideas also vanishes/2#I cant actually stop now bc im still an unpaid internee working for experience+portfolio so I need the money#I feel like shit whenever i can't get art done at the appropriate timing (ex: thematic holiday/character bday/event etc)#everything passes too fast and its already too late and the hype dies#its so hard to stay relevant and charismatic enough#Looking back I can't say im 100% satisfied with ANY art i posted this year#“was it worthy? is it still relevant? did I waste my time doing this?”#im too overly emotional over this (unfortunately) popular fictional lion beastman#“I want to yume/draw him more often/talk more about him!”#why? hes already popular enough. He has louder and more popular users who do that for him. nobody would care if it's you.#you'd get a swarm of hate. nobody would send you nice asks about it.#you don't get nearly half of the asks you used to receive back then. people just aren't interested in you anymore.#maybe you should delete your blog and start drawing trendy doodles of whatever is being hyped up at the moment.#.#if I can't execute original ideas what's the point of it?#I hate HATE having to do trendy art of whatever unfunny meme is being hyped up at the moment#but sometimes its necessary for the algorithm to boost you and to get some actual crumbs of engagement and new followers#what else can I do? being interesting on your own or having an interesting oc is no easy feat. I envy those who manage.
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workin my minimum wage ass job so i can commission kim k getting sucked & fucked
#pfp origin#made this last year and its still relevant#but i hate my job even more now#my edit#kim kitsuragi
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so jkr is back to tweeting
#tw jk rowling#tw jkr mention#jkr#jk rowling#not-so-dead-salmon#imane khelif#can someone just lay this to rest#can she finally di the world a favour and shut up forever or leave this plane if existence#tfw you wrote a bigoted childrens book decades ago and still think you should be relevant#and tfw you're an oldass hag but still think yoir clock's gonna be ticking long enough to keep being this awful#well tickety tockety tick tock bitch#manifesting her jailtime or death till 2025 please#i need this woman gone from earth#oh also just to be safe#tw racism#tw sexism#tw transphobes#tw transphobia#and#fuck jkr#please let that tweet be her downfall#its 5am and im feeling hateful tiday in this chilis
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Happy birthday, Rachel Alucard, and happy Halloween!
#rachel alucard#blazblue#nago#edits#sprite edits#crow.gif#loops#misc#birthdays#yeah yeah ruby and slayer too but i dont have the energy this year rachel gets her own post ok#and also i think my cheat table for xrd is still fucked so i cant make more gifs. crowd boos#happy birthday you stupid little rose gremlin. i wish your personality was more tolerable but alas.#hateful little creature almost affectionate but also spiteful#in my heart its also raquel's birthday since we dont know when that is. the better rachel#when will she be back from the war. raquel plot relevance again when 💔#this was actually a kinda hard call to make on which gifs to use. she has so many really fun to look at animations#why does rachel get all the fun stuff
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ive joked about it before but man i really am the only person on earth who remembers the gun commander is a character that exists arent i . because the other day when the shadow panel was happening and the voice actors were talking about their characters and how they were eachothers only friend and maria was completely isolated from other people i was like What about the gun commander . and i havent seen anyone else point the contradiction out . lmao
#okay well i cant find a video of the full panel so i cant recheck that they said those things but i swear they did i remember hearing it#for people who never played shadow the hedgehog and dont know what im talking about#its shown that one of the guys whos currently in charge at gun lived on the ark as a kid and was close friends with maria#but he hated shadow because he witnessed his creation and it scared him and he always blamed him for marias death#and its NOT one of those extremely minor details only hardcore fans would notice either . its shown in the main story#to be clear i dont even care about the gun commander as a character. hes one of the sonic characters i care about the least#i just cant help but notice people always forget about him when talking about stuff related to the ark#(like saying that maria didnt have any friends aside from shadow or that her and shadow were the only kids who lived there around that time#or that shadow was the only person who lived on the ark thats still alive)#i mean hes one of those things that wasnt in sa2/sonic x and was added in later so i guess its fair a lot of people forget. but lmao#now im wondering if sega forgot he existed or if the current voice actors just didnt know he existed in the first place#i think the second option is probably more likely because from the way they talked#it seemed like they dont really know muhc about the sonic lore aside from what theyre told about for upcoming projects#so maybe the gun commander just isnt relevant right now so they werent told about him?
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very importrant oc diagram
more in depth descriptions of this stuff below ig
omg same trauma - sympathy and respect but also acknowledging youre not the same. propably the most normal out of the three options. you know very intimate stuff about this person but you have never met and its weird. you live your life normally but sometimes you wonder what it would be like to meet him
i will never be as cool - constantly comparing yourself to him to the point a big chunk of your personality still revolves around your connection to him (in ryous case this is mixed with seeing shiro as a sort of idealised perfect father figure despite never having interacted with the guy before)(its really weird and he tries to be secretive abt it but the others knows anyway)(like kiddo they can tell)(youre not subtle at all). he is soooo good and so pure and perfect and you will never live up to that no matter how hard you try. there must be something wrong with you
gender dysphoria - what it says on the tin. you have this guys memories and voice and body and face and it makes you want to scream and cry and kill him and bury his body in the woods so nobody can ever find it
(also to clear things up this diagram and the explanations are written from a point in the timeline before the whole 'stickbug gets mind controlled' thing so the clones havent met shiro yet)(also also obv this is pretty simplified)
#my funky guys#webbys flavor of parasocial relationship w shiro also includes her seeing him as a sorta father but in her case hes a deadbeat dad she hate#she wants nothing to do with him she hates him she was him once she looks far too much like him for her own comfort#logically she knows its not his fault. or hers. but god it hurts. it hurts to see his face everywhere. to be constantly reminded of who she#was supposed to be.#she doesnt want to have a relationship w him or even yell at him or have anything to do w him. she just wants to live her life in peace#i think she often jokes about punching him or wishing he dies already but really all she wants is to be left alone.#she is sure if they ever meet that hed see her as an abomination. and also she doesnt really care if he does? just the consequences of that#its like. she doesnt really care abt what he would think of her as much as she is worried about the effect his existence has on her.#she doesnt care about shiro as a person she cares about him as a threat to her life and personhood.#also shes like 18. still very much figuring stuff out. she gets better but i dont think she ever develops any sort of meaningful relationsh#relationship w him bc she just does not want to! and thats okay!! and shiro respects that!#thinking abt how the clones percieve shiro is so funny bc hes a very relevant public figure and a celebrity#but they have a LOT of very personal knowledge abt him. so the levels of parasocial relationship going on there are INSANE#its like having very weird one sided beef with an influencer and also knowing all of his deepest fears and desires and traumas
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How does one go about getting tested for MCAS...
#still trying to see a geneticist about EDS#and now because of long covid conversations talking about MCAS im realizing that may be a relevant problem to me as well#from BEFORE I got COVID#ive had idiopathic anaphylaxis episodes in the past but its been a few years since i had one#so idk if that rules that out#but i do have seemingly ever-changing food allergies/reactions too#like i went a whole year without eating red meat because everytime i ate it i had food poisoning symptoms after for a day or so#and have had constant gastro problems with seemingly random triggers since i was a teenager#also year round allergies#to what? idk#but i live my life sniffling with my ears and throat and skin itching all the time#and heat intolerance#and being seemingly allergic to my own sweat#idk it feels like im looking for reasons for it to be that because imposter syndrome but also with the pots dx#and then my rheum sending me for genetic testing for EDS cuz my labs show i have an autoimmune disease but no positive for anything specific#has me side eyeing in the direction of MCAS because i know how those issues all love to show up in a three for one bundle#ig ill wait and see how the genetic testing goes#cuz idk where to even begin for possible MCAS#and now having long covid too i feel like anything possibly related to that will get shrugged off#because doctors HATE long covid and things that are possibly related to long covid
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would it be okay if u told me why u like aoki😭/gen😭😭😭😭BEEN TRYNA LIKE HIM FOR SO LONG I JUST CANTT but i love ur art so much so i still consume it otherwise lol
i liked tohru adachi in high school and tbh i think that alone is enough of an explanation for why i ended up liking aoki
#snap chats#haha see i told you last post's tags were relevant#anyway vLKVJEVLKAEJVLKJ IM CRYING ANON youre so funny. this is the funniest ask i coulda got thank you so much#i dont know why i like him either <- yes i do#fine lets get Real Talk about it#well first off all i thought he looked hot rolling out the elevator and i was playing the eng dub and i think his voice sounds hot there#and thats like. not athing that happens to me ever <- literally thought sawashiro was hot two frames into the game but anyway#i like politician characters. or characters that are in a position of power ESPECIALLY if they have to act like they dont suck balls#like i very much love the idea of the power of charisma and that type of thing not to mention the 'strategizing' as aoki puts it#that comes with politics. LIKE HE SUCKS DONT GET IT TWISTED HE SUCKS BUT //shrug emoji//#like its why i love the mine rggo stories i like seeing mine's thought process and how he uses his intelligence#smart's sexy to me idk what to tell you but moving on#its fun watching him lose his cool too ESP IN HIS FIGHT LMAO HE STOMPIN HIS FOOT LIKE A TODDLER SHUT UP#i also really love the arakawa family in general and thinking of aoki's relationship with each of them makes my brain explode#especially him and sawashiro that shit is painful to watch and i love it so much#i also thought him going from goth to republican was the funniest shit in the world like i howled at that AND i was distraught#aokis so interesting to me from the notion that he IS loved by his family but he has so much hatred for himself it eats him up#and as a result he cant be happy no matter what he does- how hes constantly seeking validation even if it's nothing meaningful#his lil. Dog-Eat-Dog world world belief to ichi also appealed to my edgy depressed high schooler brain. sorry.#his speech at the lockers also got to me. unfortunately. sorry everyone i empathized too hard it got too real it wasnt funny anymore#like as much as i complain bout the very end the ending is what solidified me liking aoki if not also cause of ichi's impact in those scene#plus... analyzing him and the environment around him is so much fun too....#idk reasons for why i like aoki also boil down to personal reasons. he still sucks tho so i cant be upset when people hate him LOL#i probably have more reasons or could elaborate more i love rambling but i mean. who really wants to read all that 💀💀#maybe for a character that WASNT the worst but. aoki is so LMAO#thank you for loving my art regardless :) im sorry i have to be attached to the worst guys ever
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